#listen to kingdom its fucking amazing and so loud

[thenextchapterbegins]

He slams a fist against the rest of his throne with a loud silencing boom. As he lets out a sigh steepling his fingers together.

"your going to stop talking now and your going to listen, I thank you and for the other sins I visited in giving me advice for my first two acts. However your confusion, your lack of understanding to the seriousness of why I was approaching. confused me greatly, so I begun to dig deep into your rings. Do you know what I found? A lack of care for this crown this kingdom and for me. Bee your one of the lucky ones. Your care for the hellborn was very much akin to my original wishes."

He takes a breath. "however outside of your entertainment hubs your ring is a mess, your infrastructure is a JOKE. I'm amazed your ring isn't a wasteland with a beacon of parties in its center. Not that I'm sure you even know how much of a mess your ring is since I don't think you've left your party club in the past few eons. Wrath provides much of our food that is good but there was another reason satan was given that ring, it was perfect for two other things, minerals, and training grounds. to stop the you know exterminations or any other heaven excursion YOU ALL HAPPILY ALLOWED IN PRIDE!"

"Mammon spends his time with casinos with clown pagents. his ring is infested with crime and corruption only a small corner actually seems functional and that is run by a sinner who I don't know how he got there but he's DOING SO MUCH BETTER THEN MAMMON. Bel has a wonderful healthcare system. divine even, however for some reason its only her ring." He shrugs his shoulders with a face of utter bewilderment.

"You know who has been doing good. who I would just put in control of every ring if it was even feasibly possible. asmodeus. His ring is perfect. Stayed loyal, helped the hellborn, its infrastructure its offerings its layout, amazing. It confuses me greatly to how asmodeus could stay loyal to me. and all of you. could betray so epicly. Its honestly a level of treason that would have any other king hang you all. but I don't think you guys even thought about the reprocussions of completely fucking and crippling my kingdom."

"it makes me wonder how long was it. a decade? two? before you just gave in and started ruling your rings like warlords diving into your own indulges. Who knew the people you fought alongside bled and suffered next to could completely leave you to ruin. So this is what your going to do. Your going to stop playing with that lil robotic arm, and your going to get serious. Because playtime is over. Understand?"

Continued from X @thenextchapterbegins

"Oh, they tried to start a war between their rings, though I stopped that shit quick." Beelzebub wasn't gonna let things go off the deep end on her watch. "No, just, I tried to have the two sit down and work their stuff out. It started off fine, though then the name calling started, one thing lead to another, and, well, now I have this thanks to Asmodeus," the Sin said as she summoned Mammon's freshly ripped off robotic arm implying that Asmodeus ripped off one of Mammon's arms.

"Before you judge me for keeping Mammon's arm, how could I not? This thing can do some crazy shit." To prove her point the foxhound pointed the arm up and hit the side of it which caused the arm to let out a stream of fire like a flame thrower from the palm. "Fucking cool, right?" It seemed she was getting off subject.

[bunnymetal]

yoooo i didnt see u reblogged the ask meme do blue whale, orca, and walrus!!

i cant believe this... betrayed... thats a joke of course i only ask you questions bc i genuinely would like to know your answers

blue whale; do you sleep with a stuffed animal? which one was your favorite one as a kid?i only sleep with one if im having a really bad night but my fav has always been my floppy brown bear named kimchey.. someone bought him for me at goodwill and ive been in love with him since tbh. ive never seen a stuffed animal like him either and i love him sm :sob:

orca; are you an easy-to-scare person? what scares you the most?i mean im an easy-to-worry person but im also pretty jumpy dlkdfjg but theres a certain “lack of desire to live” that strikes right into my heart esp if its someone i genuinely care about. not to get too deep or anything. but whenever a friend talks abt being high or drunk on feed, if im like, in a certain naive mood ill get so fucked up abt it that its concerning :thinking emoji:

which is something that hasnt happened much lately thank god but it does still happen once every few months. idk if this is what the question Meant but.. you know

walrus; how would you define beauty? do you ever feel beautiful?oh i love this... um i define beauty as anything that gives you a feeling in your chest that cant be described by any other word LOL like, ive been known to call the song ‘kingdom’ by devin townsend beautiful even tho for anyone whos not a metalhead that song sounds like fucking nothing. and i think making things with clay is beautiful, and i think religion is beautiful. i think anyting that is created is beautiful pretty much. so i feel that the things i do are beautiful but i wouldnt probably call my own Self beautiful...

also because i consider myself more cute or pretty appearance wise skljdflg

thank u!!!!!

[iamnotawomanimagod]

If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power - A Reluctant Ranking of Every Track

Disclaimer: This entire album is incredible, truly no skips, and I also think it’s an album that is hard to separate into individual tracks, because it all goes so well together. But I still wanted to try! This is just my personal opinion, and it’s subject to change. (Also I surprised myself. And I bet I’ll change my mind by tonight.)

Please feel free to do your own and tag me in it!! I wanna see!!

13. Girl is a Gun

It’s not that I dislike this song, it’s just a sound that I didn’t expect on this album. I think it would’ve fit in better on Manic. I don’t love how it kind of just repeats over and over again, especially on an album so full of complex, intricate lyrics. But it’s a really upbeat, sexy song and I bet it’s going to be so fun live.

Favorite lyric: 

Time is a blessin', to me, it's a lesson And I can't be stressin' to give you attention 'Cause, oh, it's never enough, so I'm givin' you up And you'll be better with a nice girl, darlin'

12. Lilith

Similar to “Girl is a Gun,” I simply wasn’t expecting this kind of sound on this album - could’ve seen it on Hopeless Fountain Kingdom though! The bass is amazing and I love the rhythm.

Favorite lyric:

You know I get too caught up in a moment I can't call it love if I show it I just fuck things up, if you noticed Have you noticed? Tell me have you noticed?

11. Darling

This song is so sweet and charming, especially if you compare it to “More,” which I think it acts as a sort of sequel to. Something about the melody hits me just a little wrong. When they start singing, I can’t help but hear the verses of “Hopeless.” That might’ve been intentional, but I can’t get past it to hear this song as its own thing.

Favorite lyric:

Never knew the feeling of a stable home Been a couple years of living on the road Couldn't really tell you where they'd leave a stone To visit me when I am dead and gone

10. The Tradition

I love the haunting piano and vocals. It feels like a song that was written for the film specifically. (Was it even in the film, lol?) I really love the sound of it, but the lyrics don’t do very much for me.

Favorite lyric:

And I hope what's left will last all summer long And they said that, "Boys were boys", but they were wrong

9. The Lighthouse

This song reminds me the most of a Nine Inch Nails song - fitting that Trent Reznor provides backing vocals on the final verse. I love the grimy guitars, and and discordant beat, and the way it builds up. The melody is cool and liquid. The final verse really feels like waves crashing. It’s a well-written song that really shows off Halsey’s alternative side.

Favorite lyric:

Well, that should teach a man to mess with me He was never seen again And I'm still wandering the beach And I'm glad I met the devil 'Cause he showed me I was weak And a little piece of him is in a little piece of me

8.  Ya’aburnee

This song makes me really emotional. It makes me think of all the people I love the most and it makes me want to cherish my time with them even more. That’s an incredible feeling for an artist to create. It’s such a bittersweet song. I wanna cry but it also makes me smile.

Favorite lyric:

But what's worse? Telling you my feelings or to die without revealing That you crawled inside my head and set a fire there, instead Letting all my insecurity Devour me with certainty

7. honey

If you’ve ever felt this way for someone, this song stings in the best way possible. I love the rhythm and the drums and the guitars - this is peak pop punk and Halsey fits right in. I love the honey imagery, especially that she included some imagery about bees and the way honey clings.

Favorite lyric:

And now she's impatient and I'm complacent With just a little taste of wasting time Looking for honey But she stings like she means it She's mean and she's mine

6. 1121

Now this is the sound I expected from this album. Cinematic, dark, dramatic. The piano is so haunting and so beautiful. It evokes so much imagery through sound alone, even with the lyrics being relatively simple. And their voice is so incredible. The song overall reminds me a lot of Evanescence, which is high praise. And I really appreciate the “self-loathing in love” theme, I can relate to it a lot. I’ve already been singing the chorus at the top of my lungs whenever I play this song.

Favorite lyric:

Take one in the temple My tongue is a vessel I try to be careful with The thing inside my chest You shoot for the memory So you can forget me I'd leave if you let me, oh

5. Bells in Santa Fe

Ever since we heard a snippet of this song in the first film trailer, I’ve been desperate to hear the rest of it. It didn’t disappoint. I love her lower register vocals, the tinkling piano and the frantic rhythm. And I relate too much to the message of the song - loving someone so much but refusing to accept that they want forever with you, insisting that they’re better off without you, warning them that you could slip away at any moment. It hits me where I live.

Favorite lyric:

Jesus needed a three day weekend To sort out all his bullshit, figure out the treason I've been searching for a fortified defense Four to five reasons But, Jesus, you've got better lips than Judas I could keep your bed warm, otherwise I'm useless I don't really mean it, 'cause who the fuck would choose this?

4. I am not a woman, I’m a god

This song fucks. Claiming their power to create life - recognizing that as godly and divine, while also insisting this is not a power that makes them a woman. I can’t wait for it to become a smash hit and for people to be singing about a nonbinary/trans experience without even knowing it. I honestly have trouble even articulating why this song is so awesome, it just is. I’m pumped every time I hear it.

Favorite lyric:

Oh, I just wanna feel something, tell me where to go 'Cause everybody knows something I don't wanna know So I'll stay right here cause I'm better all alone Yeah, I'm better all alone

3. You asked for this

I really like the 90s alternative sound of this one, it reminds me of Alanis Morrissette and certain No Doubt songs. I think it’s a very realistic depiction of how settling down in life can be very bittersweet, and the things that we ask for are sometimes not what they seem to be. But we also come to realize that settling is a part of growing up. Still, Halsey sings about wanting everything, knowing there are contradictions in that. The chorus is fun and easy to sing to, and the final verse is so amazing.

Favorite lyric:

I want a beautiful boy's despondent laughter I want to ruin all my plans I want a fist around my throat I want to cry so hard I choke I want everything I asked for

2. Whispers

This one hits hard, but god, it’s so good. The way they whisper certain phrases. The simple piano under the first verse, the way it becomes more complex, the way the beat comes in. You want to dance and cry at the same time. The lyrics - I know so many of us can relate to them. The themes of self-sabotage and self-loathing are so strong in this album, which definitely hits me right in the chest.

Favorite lyric:

I've got a monster inside me That eats personality types She is constantly changing her mind on the daily Think that she hates me I'm feeling it lately Might have to trick her and treat her To 70 capsules or fly to a castle So at least we could say that we died being traveled

1. Easier than Lying

I’ve had this one on repeat since the album came out, and that surprised me at first, but god, this song is addictive. The crunchy guitar at the beginning, the driving rhythm, the way her voice contrasts with that. The scream-singing on the chorus. It’s the kind of song you want to drive way too fast to. The bridge!! Aaah! It’s just so badass and listening to it now gets me too hyped!! Also the way it can kind of be seen as a sequel to “Lie,” - the growth of going “if you don’t love me no more, then lie” to “losing you is easier than lying to myself” is so meaningful and so empowering.

My heart is massive but it's empty A permanent part of me, that innocent artery Is gasping for some real attention Some undivided hypertension I tell it "quiet down, you're being loud" But it beats harder every time you come around But do you love the sound?

I’m gonna tag some mutuals, just to share, and also to see if anyone else wants to do this! Also you don’t need to go as in-depth as I did if that’s intimidating or too much, I’m just wordy.

@demonzplay @easiersthanlying @ttpane @yoursalwaysleo @anarkyandmadness @feelingsiwontforget @tolerateit @tommyhardyx @elysiems @imacreepygirl @finallybeautifulstranger @inthenameofloveforthesakeofpower and I know I’m forgetting some folks, I’m sorry! Please feel free to steal this and also tag me in yours!

[ultimatetornshipper]

To bee or not to bee - a Jasonette fic

@moonlitceleste I almost let this die, I honestly really wanted it dead but alas it was clearly meant to bee 

(WARNING: contains puns, angst, crack and fluff. You have been warned)

If you don’t want to read my sarcastic/funny/fangirl commentary, skip the brackets

I have another bee movie au, i didn't plan it ("I don't claim to be proud. But my head won't be hung in shame. I didn't plan it. But the light turned red, and I ran it. And I'm still standing. It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here. I understand it. A story written by my own hand" as quoted from Waitress), it just happened and i just couldn't resist. I'm not sorry

So what if instead of dying Joker turned Jason into a bee. Because Harley convinced him and told him that people were talking shit about him because he's named the Joker and they don't think he's funny. It surprisingly works. (Obviously Harley was the one who made the plan and did the magic I mean really what do u expect of Joker?)

Ok so now Jason’s a bee right? And he’s like 15 because .~:°*plot*°:~.

They look for him and Jason’s like flying around like, “Guys! Guys I’m right here!” Poor kid. (I mean I would make it funny but like angst)

Obviously they don’t understand him because he’s a fucking bee and Joker cackles madly and Harley laughs too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and it's kinda that laugh u do when ur supes overwhelmed and sound maniacal but like soft (I’m a simp for Harley being portrayed as the complex and beautiful character she id leave me be)

Jason is very sad. And also quite pissed

Not knowing what else to do he follows Batman home, he listens to them trying to find him, watches Dick freak out and Alfred wipe a tear the rest of the family doesn’t see.

Jason tries to approach Alfred, hoping he somehow recognizes what happened

He doesn’t, Alfred closes him in a glass and paper and takes him outside.

He sneaks back into the manor and sleeps in one of the flowers (it's a red tulip because aesthetic) next to his bed. He cries himself to sleep. (Can bees cry? Is this possible? Is this like a thing??? I don't need sleep i need answers)

The thing is even tho he's now a bee, he still has the durability of a human, so even stepping on him won’t crush him and he still has a human lifespan

Because Harley isn’t a monster and what Puddin didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. (Simping for Harley Quinn strike 2)

After a while at the manor and following them he decides he can’t stand it anymore. Alfred has thrown him out three times and Dick freaks out each time he sees him as he’s a tad allergic (read: he would die if stung)

Which is how Jason found out that getting hit with a newspaper wouldn’t kill him.

He leaves.

He’s a bee and it’s not like he knows about a way to reverse it.

But there was someone who might.

He goes to Arkham.

Luckily, Harley was still there. (YAY we get to see mah gurl)

He flies into her cell and she just watches him, then she seems to click. She gives him a small smile, “Hi birdie,” (she puns, honestly would make for a better clown of Gotham and I saw an idea for that once where she steals Joker’s title once and I’ve been yearning for it ever since)

She holds out a finger and he lands on it, she laughs but tears come to her eyes,” Hey at least you’re not dead. That was his original plan you know? To kill you with a crowbar. I convinced him this would be a cruller fate. I guess maybe it is, but at least this way... Ugh how the hell did I get here,” (Harley angst, honestly it’s all just self service at this point)

He simply stared at her as she cried, and he felt his heart clench. From here she looked so sad... not crazy, just broken.

She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “Look kid, there’s a way to get you back to normal, you just need to find someone, they’re called the Guardian of the Miraculous. They can help, I don’t know who or where they are, just follow your instincts. And come say hi when you get back, yeah? I could do with the... healthier company. And remember, I bee-lieve in you,” (Gasp what a shock, you mean to tell me Miraculous magic is gonna be involved in this Maribat au. Well I never what a shock. Also puns. Oh and she’s so nice to him. We love Harley in this house)

He sat there and studied her for a while more, there was more to her than it seemed. Than what he’d assumed.

But for now, he had his own problems to deal with.

She gave him a small wave as he left. (Adorable)

He left and started considering his options, as a bee, it would probably be safest to stay inside, away from birds and things that would view him as a snack.

Staying in Arkham seemed like his best option, as bad an option as it was.

Most of the prisoners wouldn’t have a second thought about trying to crush him.

A strong scent of flowers and plants suddenly came to his attention.

Of course! Poison Ivy. (Round 2 of me simping for beautiful, complex, badass women. Too bad Catwoman ain’t here.)

He followed the smell to her cell and saw her staring out of her small window. He was still taking a chance, but she loved plants and flowers and bees were important to those, weren’t they?

He flew to the window bars and sat on one. The moment she spotted him she smiled widely, in a soft way he hadn’t seen on her before. (Ahhhhh my darling plant redhead. I love writing the Sirens as soft badasses. Also has anyone noticed how rare brunettes are in superhero worlds? Like both in Marvel and DC but like irl brown is like a pretty damn common)

She held out her finger, “Hey there, little guy. A little far from home, aren’t we?”

She had no idea.

He landed on her fingertip and watched in awe as a flower and a few leaves formed on her hand. She let the flower grow itself around one of her window bars and held her finger next to one of the petals.

“There you go, it’s all I can manage with my power dampers. I haven’t had company in a while,” she said softly as he crawled into the flower. He made himself comfortable.

She laughed to herself and he saw her shaking her head, “Talking to a bee, well, I guess stranger things have happened,” (yeah ur crush is dating a green haired murderous psychopath and you get beat up by a billionaire in a batsuit on like a biweekly basis)

The flower was soft and warm and felt safer than he expected it to. He found that he could move between the petals but decided to curl up in the middle. (It's a pink rose this time because fuck yeah flowers)

He slept better than he had in days.

The next morning he took his leave, stopping only at the manor to say a mental goodbye.

Then he headed off.

Jason flew a lot the first few months, our boy was smart at least, travelling with a cruise ship on its way to Europe.

It was Spring in the Northern Hemisphere so he had until Autumn until it was in his best interest to head south to avoid the snow. He decided to head towards Africa when summer started coming to an end. (I have no reasoning for this, just that I want to)

His first spot would be the United Kingdom. Then he'd go through the rest of Europe following his instincts.

At least it was Spring.

Jason diligently searched through England, Scotland and Ireland but found nothing.

By the time he was done he realized it was time to start heading South. He’d decided to take another cruise to South-Africa, where it would be summer, he searched through the country until April. He would admit that he didn’t feel drawn to anything in any of their 9 provinces so his search wasn’t as diligent as in England. He didn’t feel anymore drawn to the neighbouring countries like Namibia or Botswana either.

(Once again no reasoning for why I picked these countries, I mean the French Hugonotes went there when they were fleeing from the French Catholics who wanted them dead so I guess I could make up some bullshit about Mari having an ancestor in common with someone there or maybe it was just the ship he could easiest get access I don’t know, you make something up)

Which was why he decided to go back to Europe as soon as April hit.

He hitched another ride on a cruise headed for France.

It’s been a year since he got turned into a damn bee.

He was sixteen now and while he’d seen some amazing things all through South-Africa (a place that proves that humans really do have a weirdly obvious way of naming things I mean the Amazon river and Chad Lake are just more examples really) as well as the United Kingdom, all he really wanted was to go back home, to be human again.

When he gets there he diligently makes his way through France, eventually arriving in Paris.

He lands on the tip top of the Eiffel Tower. As in the point of the antenna because why not.

During his year he realized that birds and other animals tended to avoid him, sensing his strangeness so that was at least one positive.

He stared out over the city. Well, the one good thing about this was definitely the views he’s been allowed to see.

That was until a massive explosion hit.

“What the fuck?” he said out loud, searching for the source. No one understood him, human or bee, but talking to himself reminded him of his humanity.

He found the source of the explosion but just as he started flying to its general direction, a blinding white light shone followed by a horde of ladybugs that were fixing everything that was wrong. (Imagine how scary this would lowkey be irl tho? Just a shit ton of Ladybugs descending on Paris my dude)

He decided that he needed a night’s sleep before he could even begin an attempt at deciphering what had just happened. He flew lower, finding a nice little balcony right above a bakery. And it had flowers. (I’ll give u five seconds to guess who this balcony belongs to)

He flew down, exploring.

He turned around when he heard a loud thump from behind him. What appeared to be a super heroine in red spandex with black spots had landed on the balcony.

She detransformed and started to talking to a floating bug- fairy thing. Strange. Though it wasn’t like he could judge, as an ex superhero sidekick who was thought to be dead but was actually a bee.

She disappeared down her trapdoor and he made himself comfortable in one of her flowers.

He slept soundly until somewhere during a night another thump woke him. He looked out of his sleeping spot to see a cat superhero stand on her balcony. He leaned down and knocked on her small trapdoor.

Ah, a teammate of hers, they were probably meeting about something, he thought as he heard her open up.

It didn’t take him long to realize that even though they were teammates, the cat, Chat Noir he later learned, was not aware of this fact.

Oh this was rich.

He couldn’t bee-lieve his eyes. (ok so Jason used self-referential puns but can you really blame him? It’s really just me and my pun problem so don’t blame the kid)

He was going on and on about his feelings for Ladybug, the girl’s hero form, that were clashing with his feelings for another girl he fenced with, while she listened, clearly fed up with it.

He also claimed that he thought that maybe they were one and the same. Which, to Jason, was hilarious as he was literally saying this to the actual Ladybug’s face.

Marinette- he learned from the Cat’s ongoing blabbering, he was a real blab-bee mouth, - was clearly tired, nodding half asleep, probably having heard it all before.

When he finally left Jason went to sleep again, incredibly amused and even more thankful that he was fluent in French. ( u think this is plot convenience? Just u wait mah dude iz about to get worse)

The next morning he decided to follow her to school. Which was how he learned of her huge crush on a boy named Adrien Agreste.

After learning the boy could fence thanks to Marinette’s obsession interest in him, he got suspicious.

Could it really bee? (not a typo)

After seeing the boy transform a month or two later for patrol he laughed like he hadn’t for over a year. It very much was. He'd spent the time staying on Marinette's balcony and decided to stay another week before moving on and continuing his search, after all, he couldn't stop now that he finally felt like he was getting close.

The next day she got home crying, claiming that Adrien had started dating someone else.

Kagami, she called the girl. Probably the fencer if he had to place a bet.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki told the girl.

“That boy's an idiot,” he said, speaking his mind, another thing he’d gotten use to being allowed to do without consequence.

Marinette nearly jumped out of her skin, she looked around and he realized that she could hear him. He hadn’t really spoken too much before, at least not when she was around. He was usually content with watching her do whatever she was doing that day.

“Tikki, did you hear that?” she asked, Tikki nodded, her eyes landing on him.

“Oh,” the kwami said softly, flying over to him, “Oh, you poor thing, who did this to you?” (Tikki is the first ever mom friend and u can fight me on this)

He stared up at her, flying so that they were eye level.

Marinette gaped at them, heartbreak seemingly forgotten, “Tik- Tikki, are- who are you talking- are you talking to a – Tikki is that a bee?!” she finally spluttered out.

“No,” Tikki said, studying him, he felt his heart twist in hope and his stomach roll in surprise. Did she know?

“I mean yes, but no. He’s a boy whose been turned into a bee,” Tikki explained, turning back to Marinette.

“Oh,” Marinette said softly, turning to him. She held her hand out and after some hesitation he landed on her finger. She looked at him then back to Tikki.

How did they know? Would he really be that lucky? Was this real?

“Uhm, how?” she said, staring at him in disbelief. He tried shrugging but realized he couldn’t anymore- beecause of his- well if you haven’t caught on to the fact that he’s a bee by now you should really start from the beginning of this story.

“I don’t know, but Joker and Harley Quinn were involved,” he said.

Marinette stared at him in disbelief, blinking a few times. She sat in shock a few moments longer. (Our darling is an awkward lil bean, and while in media awkward is portrayed as cute, irl it isn’t, it’s just well… awkward. And we’re writing a serious and realistic fic about this sidekick of guy who wears a batsuit/billionaire's ward getting turned into a bee and falling in love with a magical girl fighting a butterfly man- none of this unrealistic nonsense)

Tikki flew over and sat on Marinette’s shoulder while her holder processed the information, the kwami stared at him sweetly, “What’s your name?”

He swallowed, he hadn’t said his name in ages, it stirred up something (emotion, it’s called emotion, Jason, you know? The thing Batman can’t process??) in him, “Jason Todd,”

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of her daze, “That sounds American. Are you American? Wait if Joker and Harley are involved then you’re probably from Gotham. Are you? Wait I’ve seen the name Jason Todd somewhere. Weren’t you some rich guy’s ward? It was all over the news last year, Alya wouldn’t stop talking about it for a month, she had a million theories. He was – you were announced dead two months after Robin was taken captive by Joker, everyone thought he was – you were killed. Joker made outrageous claims as they arrested him... saying that they’d never find Robin... that he’d all but disappeared in thin air... that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing stripes... I remember because he put a really weird emphasis on the words be and stripes and...,” her eyes widened and she gasped as she looked at him in what could only be described as pure shock. (Yes this happens, people can talk for this long and since I personally know headcannon that Marinette is ADHD this long ass paragraph is just another Tuesday bud)

He sat there, surprised that she figured it all out so quickly. (yeah bub it’s called plot convenience and it’s because of me, the writer, I don’t wanna focus on secret ID shenanigans, I got other plans for yall, also Mari is smart, don’t underestimate her)

“You’re Robin,” she breathed, “they turned you into a bee. Wait- How the hell did they turn you into a bee?!”

He chuckled, “Bee-lieve me I’ve been asking myself that question for more than a year,”

She bit her lip, seemingly contemplating his words and ignoring his pun, “Tikki do you know anything that could help? Do you think Miraculous magic-,”

He felt his heart stop, he flew up to her face, flying at eye level, “Wait, did you just say Miraculous? Harley said if I could find the Guardian of the miraculous, they could help me, do you know where they are? I’ve been looking for so long,” (‘°;~*.plot convenience.*~;°’)

Marinette blinked at him and Tikki's face dawned with realization.

“I’m the guardian of the miraculous,” Marinette said softly, “Tikki, that means I can help him, right?”

Tikki nodded and he had to dial down the hope in his heart because the look on her face told him there was a Kim Kardashian sized butt on the way.

“We can help him, but we’re gonna have to wait. (don’t look at me like that, do u want them to have time to bond or not?) You’re not trained enough to pull it off yet. If you were to do it now, all three of us would be out of commission for far too long, especially with Hawkmoth on the prowl,” Tikki said.

They must’ve been able to sense his sadness because they were staring at him with an incredible amount of pity. The amount was quite unsettling actually and he suddenly felt a primal like urge to pun. (An extract from my book: “My unhealthy coping mechanisms and how to use them,” specifically Chapter 8: “Humor hides the pain”)

Suddenly Tikki’s face lit up, the whiplash of her expression change throwing any notion of punning out the window.

“Well, there’s one thing we could do,” she said, excitedly, zipping buzzing around “If he wears a miraculous, he'll return back to human form while transformed,”

Marinette perked up at the idea, but confusion soon overtook her features, “But Tikki, most of the miraculous are bigger than he is,”

Tikki waved her away,” It’s fine it’ll work,”

“Ok,” Marinette said after a bit of thought. She stood and he followed while she started climbing down her skylight,” I’m thinking you can try each of them out for different patrols and then we’ll see which one matches you best. This could be fun, having some fun sized company while figuring out how to defeat Hawkmoth,”

He laughed, flying near her ear, “Fun sized, huh? I’ll have you know I’m considered tall in human form, unlike some of us,”

She laughed and rolled her still tear stained eyes, and so, the beginning of a bee-autiful friendship bloomed.

Marinette walked to her closet and Jason took in her room. It was very pink, but in a well-balanced way - it wasn’t completely overbearing. His eye caught on a few pictures of Adrien Agreste on her wall but figured now wouldn’t be a great time to bring it up. (Look he’s already more emotionally aware, #foreshadowing of character development)

She removed a big box from her closet. She opened it and it was filled with what appeared to be a bunch of scrap materials. At the bottom she removed a bigger bundle of black and red fabric and he flew closer.

She put it in her lap and Jason had to do a double take when he realized that her hands were glowing and what the actual fuck- it was a box now -fuck fuck fuck- why was it a box? How? What- Jason was pretty sure he did not sign up for this.

She put the box down in front of her and to his relief she opened her mouth to speak as she lifted the lid, so he’d understand everyth- and its jewellery.

The box contained jewellery. Animal themed jewellery by the looks of things.

He then realized that these were probably the other miraculous.

She looked over each artefact before handing him the yellow and black hairclip.

Out of all of them, she picked the bee miraculous.

“Hilarious,” he replied dryly, giving her a look, he realized too late she wouldn’t be able to register- on account of, well you know… (if u don’t know by now, you don’t get to find out anymore)

She gave him a grin and replied, “I certainly think it is,”

Her teasing expression turned into one of worry, “I mean we could switch it out if it makes you uncomfortable-,” (being a sassy people pleaser with no filters really do be like this tho)

He laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing. What do I do?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer before obviously realizing that she didn’t have an answer. She turned to Tikki and the kwami had a fond smile on her face before turning to Jason. (Just Tikki casually mentor- moming Mari because Fu is useless)

“Just step on the miraculous, it’ll sense that you’re human,” the creature replied.

When he stepped onto the bee miraculous, its kwami appeared.

Pollen stared at him for a few seconds before she realized what was happening.

After an explanation about her power set and what exactly he could do in suit, he transformed.

He felt his human body appearing. He was taller and more built than he remembered being. His flying clearly had physical consequences then, not that he was complaining.

His suit included a pair of bee wings. His hair was longer than he remembered it being too.

He had a black leather jacket and combat boots. With it was a pair of practical black leggings and a yellow t-shirt with three thick black stripes. (The three stripes represent each one of his families, the Todds, the Waynes and The Dupain-Chengs, because I can) He also had a pair of black gloves. His boots had yellow laces. On his face was a black and yellow striped domino mask. The top sat on his hip. The bee miraculous sat on the middle of his chest in the form of a broach.

He all but sprinted to the mirror. He stared at his face, his blue eyes and his nose that never healed quite right after breaking it that one time. His black hair was messy and stuck up every which way, his cheekbones were as high as always, and he had a little bit of stubble and it was so familiar and so new all at once.

He touched his face, barely registering the tears flowing down his cheeks and laughed in relief. He was human again. This was real! He could- he was closer to normal than he ever thought he’d get to be.

He turned to Marinette who was staring up at him in shock. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing in joy. And after a moment she joined in. He put her down and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling widely, “Thank you. Thank you so much,”

She smiled up at him, a slightly sad look on her face, “I’m sorry, it’s not permanent,”

“Don’t be sorry. For the first time I have hope. It will be permanent eventually, and till then, I have you with me, right?” he squeezed her shoulder, still high on the feeling of hope and warmth and familiarity.

When he was overcome with the sudden urge to pull her into a hug, he didn’t resist.

He held her close, resting his chin on her head, “Damn, I missed this. Hugging, I mean. I haven’t... it’s been so long,” (not that he got all that many hugs from Bruce “emotionally constipated” Wayne)

She wrapped her arms around him, “I can imagine,”

They stood there a while before the time for patrol came along. She transformed and they made their way to the Eiffel tower, where they met Chat.

The cat themed hero rose his brow questioningly, “I thought we didn’t recruit new heroes unless it was an emergency?”

Ladybug smiled nonchalantly, “It’s Guardian business, he’s gonna be a permanent fixture in our team for at least a few months so we might as well get used to working as a team,”

Chat Noir eyed him wearily and he stepped forward, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Blackback, nice to meet you,”

Chat Noir shook his hand and gave Ladybug a sceptical look, “An American? Really?”

“Please Chat, he's not American, it’s just the glamour hiding his actual accent,” she replied simply, shooting Jason a worried look.

He couldn’t give away his identity, but he was also technically a bee, he didn’t really have an identity to give away. So, her behaviour was strange. Unless she wanted to give him an identity somehow?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of patrol.

When they got home Marinette revealed that she wanted to give him the fox miraculous. If they asked Trixx she would be able to design the costume in a way that allowed him to look like a normal civilian, without the mask.

Trixx's glamour was also stronger than the rest so his true identity as Jason Todd would be protected.

And she could help him fake an accent.

Since Marinette was a year younger than him he could just pick up where he left off school wise.

She convinced her parents that he was an exchange student in desperate need of a place to stay because the person he would’ve stayed with backed out last minute.

They agreed easily and Jason decided to not question it.

It was his third family. His second if you only counted non abusive ones. First if you wanted one with a healthy family dynamic.

They got him a fake birth certificate and name. He went with the alias Thomas Grayson. He thought it was kind of funny, and it paid homage to both Bruce and Dick. It gave him something from home to hold on to. (Jason isn’t really salty about not being avenged in this au, he didn’t die and Talia and the pit madness wasn’t there to egg on his anger. But maybe if I ever get back to this au we could do a thing with it… guess we’ll have to wait and see ;-) no promises tho)

He built himself another home with Marinette and her family. And before he knew it, he was happy again. He felt secure.

Through the weeks, he ingrained himself into Marinette's life. In a blink of an eye, they were best friends, and he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He loved living with her family as she trained to be strong enough to turn him back to normal.

He grew close to Marinette’s friends and was her shoulder to cry on about Adrien. He and Adrien got along pretty well, and he and Marc and Rose traded Literature jokes. Max would join in when it involved Shakespeare.

Then Lila happened. (She’s a staple in Maribat fiction. U can’t have Maribat without Lila. Or well u can but that’s usually a very specific au)

Her lies started out simple enough. Then she started manipulating everyone and he, Marinette, Chloe and Adrien were one scheme away from being ostracized. They sat in the back row.

They ignored her sneers and let her lie to her heart’s content. Then one day she said something that made both Marinette and Jason freeze.

“You know, I was childhood friends with Jason Todd (I know she usually gets the names wrong but like her knowing the name just makes this next bit better) You know, Bruce Wayne’s ward who died a while ago? It was just so sad. He grew up in a nice family but his parents both died in a car accident and Brucie took pity on him. He even let us keep in contact afterwards, since our parents were such good friends. We all miss them dearly of course. We were neighbours the year we lived in Gotham, you know? We'd play every day-,” she started fake crying, “Oh it just gets too much sometimes,”

But to Jason’s shock Alya didn’t move to console Lila, in fact, she was staring at the brunette in shock.

He turned his gaze to Marinette to see the girl wearing the biggest, coldest, most satisfied smirk. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned at Lila in a way that made shivers go down his spine.

He turned back, this ought to be good.

And it was.

Alya absolutely lost it.

She ripped Lila a new one and frankly? Jason was impressed. (Alya has a temper and she’s a fangirl, and we all know how we get when someone gets something wrong about one of our hyperfixations, even if it’s an old one so like yall can imagine how bad Lila had fucked up)

When an akuma flew in towards Lila, Alya grabbed it, staring the girl down with a fury he didn’t know she could possess, “Don’t you dare! Do you think I’m blind? I’ve seen how easily you get akumatized and this time I’m not letting it happen!”

Of course, Alya then got akumatized but hey it beat another version of Lila.

Everyone made up but they weren’t quite as close as before. Their group tended to consist mostly out of him, Marinette, Chloe, Adrien, Kagami and Luka.

Other than that incident and akuma attacks, life was pretty good.

In fact, it was great.

He and Marinette would spend nights on her balcony, laughing and slow dancing. They star gazed and went on patrols. He helped her when she got nightmares and she returned the favour. They went on long walks and spent the holidays together. They crammed for tests and he played model for her designs. They worked in the bakery and hung out with their friends both in and out of suit. They’d joke about his technical bee-ness and he and Chat drove her mad with puns. In retaliation she’d introduce him as her bee friend to people or only give him honey and bee themed things. (ok this sentence sounds weird but I mean like when she brings them sweets from the bakery to snack on while working and stuff.)

And one laugh, memory and fight at a time, he started to fall. (I just want good things for Jason, and really can you blame me?)

Through the months, he kept up to date on the news about Bruce Wayne and Marinette held his hand each time a new kid joined his brood. She reminded him that no child could be replaced and reassured him that of course Bruce would want him back when they figured everything out.

And if he didn’t, she’d kick his ass into space, and he’d stay with her family in Paris- a family she made sure he knew he was a part of.

He helped Sabine in the kitchen and was the only one who came closest to beating Marinette’s Ultimate Mega Strike 3 record. Tom taught him to shave and bake. He was integrated into their family and they treated him as part of the family.

But even if they were giving him everything they were, he missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. And Barbara. And Gotham. He missed them all so much. He missed home.

So, 14 months later, when Marinette told him they had a meeting with the Justice League about the Hawkmoth situation, Jason felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” he asked softly, his eyes brimming with tears (Marinette taught him how to emotion, you see. So Jason is emotionally stable-ish enough to cry without feeling embarrassed about it), “I get to see him again?”

Marinette nodded and hugged him from behind, “I’m planning on telling him what happened. Is there anything you can tell him to verify who you are?”

Memories from a million years ago entered his mind, “Yes,”

She took his hand and took a step back, “And I think I can fix you before we go, I’m strong enough. But I’d still like your help in the final battle, I mean I know you’re going home but...,”

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled, “Of course, Pixie. I’ll always be there for you when you need me,”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a movement so familiar it was practically a part of him. He pulled her close and cried into her hair.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” he asked softly, after a while, resting his chin on top of her head.

“He will,” she replied, tightening her grip around his waist.

They both knew she had no guarantee of that. That she had no way of knowing for sure. Neither of them did.  And it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The next day they do the magic turning back thing. It freaks him out quite a bit but not as much as her revealing the miraculous freaked him out the first time, you get kinda used to the magic shenaniganary. They’re both passed out for an hour afterwards and when they wake up, he holds her, crying, because he was finally, finally back to normal and this was real and permanent, and it was over.

She cried with him and held him, and they then went out and he wore a shirt she made for him, and they got ice cream the next day. They celebrated some more and went to the park with the squad and they had a picnic.

It was better than he ever could've imagined.

While the sun was setting, they stood back on her balcony, where they first spoke all those months ago, slow dancing. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her as the orange light of the sunset shone on them. (So aesthetic)

“Thank you, Marinette, for everything,” he says as he rubs his thumb across her cheek. His hand holding her face. She puts her hand over his and closes her eyes, savouring the moment.

She opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’d do it again and more, if it meant I’d get to be with you,”

He started leaning down, “If I lost you, I’d fly all over the world just to find you again,”

She raised to her tip toes, faces millimetres from one another, blue bells meeting ice, “So it was all worth it in the end?”

He moves closer, eyes searching hers. “Definitely,” he breathes.

She closes the distance, and he picks her up and spins her around. They break apart and their laughter fills the air.

(now that’s enough fluff, allow me to drown you in angst)

The next day they stood on the Eiffel tower. She took his hand, “Let’s recap. I go in, we have our Hawkmoth meeting, then I ask if I can speak to Batman and Nightwing alone. Then I tell them I found you, then I give them – are you sure it’s necessary for me to give them your blood, hair and a cheek swab? Isn’t that overkill?” (Batman is serious about his no kill rule, but he’s also serious about his there’s no such thing as overkill rule)

He shook his head and she sighed, “Okay. Then I give him means to contact me and I come back. Now remember they might take a while to process and they won’t necessarily call immediately-,”

“What if they never call?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

She ran her finger softly through his hair, “Then you have us to help you get through it,”

He nodded, she kissed his cheek and stepped through the portal with Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Viperion. He and Ryuuko stayed behind as backup, he wielded the Fox miraculous these days, but kept the name Blackback, always wearing a black leather jacket no matter the transformation.

He and Ryuko discussed fighting styles, she was kindly trying to distract him, and if it had been anything else he needed distracting from, it would’ve worked.

So passed the slowest forty-five minutes of his life. Chat Noir and Queen Bee exit a portal and so the wait for Marinette and Luka began.

She and Bruce were talking now. Bruce would know he was alive. This was make or break for him. Luka was nearby to act as back up worst-case scenario.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, followed by someone taking and rubbing circles on his back. He looked down to see Ryuuko on his one side and saw Chat Noir on his other.

“We’ve got you,” Chloe said standing in front of him, hand on his unoccupied shoulder.

He swallowed and nodded. She squeezed his upper arm and met his gaze, “Breathe, you’re safe, honey,”

So, 30 more minutes pass. They sit down and somewhere along the line Chat goes and grabs a dozen croissants from the bakery.

In another situation he might’ve laughed. He’d baked this morning’s batch and now he got to eat some of it for free, of course, technically he could get others for free too but-

The portal opened behind them and Ladybug and Viperion stepped out. He noted that she didn’t have the bag of his DNA with her anymore.

She smiled softly at him, “Now we wait,”

And wait they did.

They waited two weeks.

And then the burner phone that's number they'd given Bruce rang.

Jason froze, Marinette jumped up and ran to get it.

He couldn't move as she walked over and put the phone on speaker, she grabbed his hand and he held onto her for dear life.

"We can both hear you now, Nightwing," she said.

There was a beat of silence on the other side of the line, "Can he- If you're- can I speak to him? In- um- private?"

Marinette looked at him, and he nodded. She took the phone off speaker and handed it to him.

He held it up to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the circles Marinette were drawing on his hand with her thumb.

"He- hey Dick," he said. He heard his brother's breathing hitch, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"When did Batman find you?"

"25th May 2017,"

"Who's your favourite author?"

"Mary Shelley tied with Jane Austin,” he replied.

Dick stayed silent for too long and before he could stop himself the words fell from his mouth, desperation clinging to each syllable,” My favourite- my favourite playwright is Shakespeare, and my favourite school subject is English. If I could pick any day job it would be being a writer. My favourite colour is blue. Alfred has a secret fear of dolphins. You have had a ridiculously huge crush on Barbara for years and she had no idea, and I found a picture you drew under your old room's bedside table of you two getting married. I folded the picture up and hid it in a small box of memories I kept in the farthest corner of my closet under clothes I never wore. I have a round scar on the lower left side of my back where Willis Todd burned me with a cigarette when I was 5 that you don’t know I know you know about. My first Christmas at the manor you found me in the rose garden cutting a few off to take to my mother's grave and I was terrified that you would yell at me but instead you drove me to the graveyard and that was the day I decided to give you a real chance. I despise carrots but I eat them when Alfred makes them because I don't want to be a burden. And I-," he choked on a sob- when had he started crying?

He took a shuddering breath, and swallowed some of his tears, trying to make sure the words got out right, "I've missed you guys for every single second that I've been gone,"

His stomach tied itself up in a million knots as the silence stretched on. He could hear Dick moving the phone.

"Can I speak to Ladybug again please?" A female voice he didn't recognize said.

He handed the phone to Marinette and pressed his hand over his mouth to try to contain the sobs. He felt like a knife was twisting his stomach. He couldn't even hear what Marinette was saying. (I’m going through something irl and as a result u guys get to read angst by the bucketloads and I regret nothing)

Dick didn't want to talk to him. He should've just answered the question, he shouldn't have given all the extra information. Now they were never going to believe that it's really him and he would never see them again. Maybe they knew it was him and they just didn't want him-

"Jason, breathe with me," he heard Marinette's voice. His eyes latched onto hers like a lifeline, he became aware of her hands holding his.

She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, in a motion so familiar that it came as easy as breathing. Well as easy as it usually was to breathe, right now excluded.

After he calmed down, she explained to him what they discussed. They would go to Gotham and meet and discuss things from there.

They wanted to meet him, but they still didn’t completely believe that it was him. He knew this for a fact because they had organized for M’gann to be there to confirm what he was saying. (Yassss M'gann my darling girl, I adore out lil Martian)

Marinette had suggested that they meet in the Batcave in an hour. Everyone had agreed. He assumed she had a plan as to why she wanted to wait. And he trusted her, so he waited for her to explain.

“I want to take the team, as backup. If you’re not comfortable with it, I want to at least take Luka. I would suggest just letting one of us wield is miraculous, but his Second Chance Timer limit is an hour so it would be most beneficial,” she said, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

He nodded, sitting up straighter, but not releasing his grip on her hand, “We can bring the team, it’s smart to have backup. Besides if things go haywire, we have Luka to stop us.”

“Then let’s go get our team, love,”

(oh, I should probably mention that only he and LB knows everyone’s Identities. Or well rather no one knows like officially. Like everyone lowkey knows everyone's and a few of them have officially revealed themselves to each other, but not everyone is officially revealed to everyone and Mari and Jason are the only ones who aren’t officially revealed to anyone else, it’s kinda like the vibes of knowing your best friend is queer but not saying anything because they haven’t officially come out yet but like you know because they ain’t nearly as subtle as they think. Like that aesthetic.)

Anyway, 50 minutes later, they’re all gathered on the Eiffel Tower. Jason saw Marinette give Luka a nod to reset his timer. Suddenly he was enveloped in a light with a scratch that wasn’t there a few seconds before on his cheek, his expression quite annoyed.

Marinette immediately furrowed her brows, “How many times?”

Viperion shook his head, “Don’t worry, only one so far, but they try to restrain us. We’re gonna have to try plan b this time,” Everyone nodded, they waited two minutes before the agreed upon time and Mari opened a portal, but instead of appearing out in the opened, they hid in the shadowy parts of the cave.

Jason used his illusion to hide them from any observant eyes and they spread out a bit. He and Mari stayed together, Cloe flew to get a higher perspective and hide Viperion on one of the cave’s many ledges while Chat just moved a few feet away to have a slightly different hiding spot. Kagami dropped into her wind form and was flying above them to eavesdrop, she’d go to Luka if she heard anything of importance so he could go restart again.

They’d be one step ahead of the Bats no matter what they pulled, after all, they had all the time in the world.

They watched them all get into position as time neared. Jason didn’t know all the kids but recognized them from the news.

Dick, Bruce and M’gann stood near the bat computer with Barbara – who was in a wheelchair but that was a realization to deal with later- and Alfred.

The minute they were supposed to appear Jason cast another illusion to make it appear as though they had arrived. As expected, weapons and restraints immediately swarmed on them, each kid going for a different miraculous member. Too bad the images turned into orange dust as soon as they touched them.

The tiny one in the Robin uniform was red in the face and immediately started throwing a tantrum, “Father! They’ve tricked us-,”

Before he could get another word out, Chloe mass-venomed the horde of kids that we’re sent to attack them. He counted Black bat, Red Robin, Batgirl, Signal and Robin. They were all frozen in the middle of the room and before the others near the computer could move, Kagami trapped them in a (rather large) ring of fire. They had enough space to move around comfortably but if they tried approaching the edge the flames would grow larger.

Batman growled and his eyes searched through the cave, but he wouldn’t see them, no matter how hard he searched.

Jason stared at them. Dick was also searching the cave, but he seemed to look more hopeful than angry. Alfred seemed his usual calm self and Barbara was glancing around the cave more subtly. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the batkids because M’gann was staring right at him, staying right where she was despite her ability to fly.

“Hi, Jason,” she softly spoke into his mind, he felt emotion overwhelm him, she’d known him before everything, and she knew it was him and it was a lot.

He knew she wasn’t probing around his brain for information like he was sure Bruce had asked her to, she didn’t have to, she knew it was him.

“Can you please tell me why we’re surrounded by fire?” she asked.

“We have a time traveller,” he replied.

“Ah, not a fan of Bruce’s restrain and question method, then? Can’t say I blame you, though I do think you’ve proven your point,”

“You really think it’s a good idea to release all of them?” he asked sceptically.

“… Good point. Maybe leave the brood in the middle in whatever frozen state they’re in and just let us in the fire out. They really just think it’s too good to be true… Jason, I won’t let them hurt you,”

“Okay,” he agreed softly. He turned to Marinette and gave her a slight nod. She returned with one of her own.

They walked over to Kagami’s ring of fire and he held their illusion until they were right in front of it. He held on to it for a bit to make sure everyone else would be able to stay in position. Chloe would keep the cavalry venomized and Chat and Viperion would stick to the shadows, unless necessary.

Jason dropped the illusion and watched four heads snap to him. M'gann simply gave him a soft smile and a nod of encouragement.

Kagami moved herself to stand next to Marinette and turned back into her human form, glaring at them with a silent warning.

Their attention was elsewhere, though. For a long time they just stood there and stared at one another in silence. They studied every part of one another they could see.

His eyes caught on Barbara’s wheelchair and he felt ready to destroy whatever put her there. She met his eyes and he held her gaze. She must’ve seen something there because she gave a small smile as she allowed a few tears to escape her eyes.

“Miss Martian?” Batman broke the silence like a cheap dinner plate, shattering it in a matter of seconds.

“It’s him,” M’gann answered without a hint of hesitation.

It was Alfred that moved first. He took a few hesitant steps towards him and before Jason knew it the man was in front of him. Alfred reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, desperately studying him for a moment before pulling him into a hug only Alfred could give.

It took Jason a moment to respond but when he did he returned it wholeheartedly.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and it took him a moment to realize that they’d both started crying. When he looked up Dick was only a few feet away. The moment Alfred stepped away Dick pulled him close.

“I thought you were dead, kid. I thought I’d never see you again, I thought I lost even more family. You were too young, too innocent. Fuck Jason,” Dick whispered, tightening his grip, “I’m so glad you’re alive,”

Jason held on to his brother and that night they cried about terrible endings and broken beginnings. They cried about lost time and found family.

It wasn’t the end yet, Hawkmoth was still terrorizing Paris and he had no idea what Bruce thought yet. There were all his other kids, his brothers and sisters. There were his teammates and the incredible story of how he’d been turned into a bee of all things.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

But just for a moment, a strand of a singular moment, he had his brother in his arms again and he was back home. His first real home.

Things weren’t perfect, as things rarely are but it didn’t matter. Because part of the beauty of life is how it builds and breaks us in a cycle of love and loss.

And that night they laughed with a lightness and joy none of them had fully been able to hold onto in years.

 I hope you guys enjoyed!

This is lowkey totally gonna be the au I go to when I don’t know what to write lol, maybe write a bit of what happens afterwards or a part of everything during the year he lived with Mari them or just y’know shenanigans

[staytiny-angel]

Grace and Country 2/5

Rating: M

Pairing: 'Hangman' Adam Page/F!OC, One-Sided Kenny Omega/F!OC

Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Harrassment.

Co-Written with @lilmissriottbliss

Taglist - @moxleyunstable, @axelwolf8109

Summary: Ava and Adam go on that date, it goes about you'd expect with the Dark Order involved, Things with Kenny come to a head.

"Violet!"

"Ava? Mon Cher Smackdown is about to start why are you screaming?"

Violet gave Finn a look before putting her friend on speaker "Mon Roi is here too, what has you so excited?"

"ADAM ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE!" The younger woman yelled

Ava could hear Violet cursing in French from a small distance. “Really? That’s amazing! Give me details now!”

“I lost my phone and he found it near your adopted brother and then Kenny was annoying me again so he covered for me by saying we were going on a date so we’re actually going on one!”

“I’m so happy for you!”

“Could you do me a solid?” Ava asked

Of course darling," Violet agreed

"Could you guys not tell the big boss?" Ava begged "You know I love Seth to death, he's my dad shaped person but he wasn't happy about this whole AEW deal and he'll be even less happy to know I'm going out with one of their biggest stars"

Violet and Finn silently looked at each other before agreeing to the younger woman's request 

"We have you covered darlin" Finn said

"What are you going to do about Omega?I'm starting to worry. He's really not taking no for an answer"

“I honestly don’t know” Violet handed Finn her phone, taking out the one meant to contact family. “I think she’s going to threaten Malachi into watching over you” Finn laughed.

Ava sighed in relief. While Malachi Black, formerly Aleister to Violet, was dark and broody, he did scare Kenny with a simple stare.

“So how’s Mox doing?” Violet asked

"Good, he got Omega off my back last night at Dynamite, threatened him with Ruby." Ava said "He said something about promising Seth to look out for me?"

"Seth called him and Miro when you decided to go to AEW." Finn explained 

"Called in a couple of favors. You are the baby."

Ava rolled her eyes even though the couple couldn't see her "You've got to be kidding. I can take care of myself"

“We know you can take care of yourself, Seth has a overprotective complex” 

Ava sighed but didn’t disagree. “We got to go now, see you tomorrow!” Violet hung up.

Ava turned off her phone, seeing a text from Kenny. Rolling her eyes she deleted it. “Is he ever gonna get the point?” she asked herself before flopping on her hotel bed with a sigh. He thoughts turning to the next day and the date she'd been dreaming of for years. 

-Next Day-

She met Adam outside a café, the cowboy looking handsome in normal street clothes and without a certain purple and black group shadowing him.

“Wow, you look great” He said. As she grinned and twirled once, showing off the chic black suit she'd chosen for their date. 

“Hope you don’t mind but I invited Violet and Finn just in case your friends crash this”

Adam laughed. “They probably will ”

Inside the cafe, Finn and Violet were waiting at a four person table, surprisingly without their daughter in tow.

"Where's my honey bunches?" Ava said with a pout, that Adam found adorable

"Becky and Seth have her" Finn explained "Shes having a playdate"

“Next time you bring her” Ava pointed. Finn raised his hands and laughed. Violet slid over a black coffee to Adam. 

He accepted it with a smile. “So you’re both going after the top titles in Smackdown” he grinned.

“Yup!” Finn grinned. “It was fun in NXT but I wasn’t spending another week without my husband there” Ava sighed.

“It’s harder to get a title shot in AEW, I have no idea how to get to Britt”

“I lost the chance to be the inaugural champ because someone thought an ass deserved it” Adam muttered.

“Adam I think your shadows are here” Violet pointed to a booth in the corner

Sure enough, the purple and black clad Dark Order filled 2 corner booths, trying and failing to be inconspicuous.

"Oh god" Adam murmured "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have told them where we were going"

"They really care about you" Ava smiled at Adam causing that feeling to flutter in his chest again.

"You may not, have been the first AEW champion but you've got a shot at Kenny at All Out" Finn says

"Sure do" Adam says "I can't wait, I've owed Kenny an ass whipping for a while now"

“Fucking creep” Ava rolled her eyes. “How’s Paige?”

“You don’t know that from Mox?” Violet raised an eyebrow. Ava shook her head

“She’s ok, doing wonders with her makeup. Her and Sonya are planning a wedding”

Ava nodded. “Sorry about the Kingdom disbanding” 

Finn rolled his eyes. “Of course Vince brings up Shotzi and us but doesn’t want Kyle, Millie, Priscilla or Jordan”

Adam and Ava share a smile knowing while AEW wasn't a paradise by any means…it wasn't run by Vince. 

A loud bang sounded from the back of the restaurant and every turned to see one of the corner tables flipped on its side as John Silver looked around sheepishly. 

Adam dropped his head in his hands as Ava giggled "I'm sorry, I'm gonna go uh…handle this" he said rising from his seat and heading toward the back.

"They are quite the band of misfits aren't they?" Violet said as she tried not to laugh as they watched Adam easily lift the table back in place and start seemingly scolding them for crashing their double date.

"They love him, and with the entire….mess with the Elite…their very overprotective." Ava explained

“Reminds me of Seth” Violet said. Ava’s eyes widened.

“It totally is!” Finn laughed as Adam came back and sat down.

“They swear it’s just a coincidence they all wanted to come here on the same day and time as my date”

Violet flipped her hair and put on her flirty voice. “So this a date?

Adam blushed hard. “Um…well, it’s definitely not a…friend thing…we’re not friends. I mean we are friends!, but I want to be more then friends!" 

Ava blushed as she watched Adam flounder under Violet's question 

"Leave him alone, mo chroi" Finn finally rescued the younger man from his wife. 

“I was just being a good friend” Violet smirked.

Adam took a breath. “I don’t know why but I have a thing for goth people”

Ava looked at Violet.

“Really? Is that why you went to the Dark Order?”

“Honestly? Kenny ruined tag teams for me. The Bullet Club went to shit after you were kicked out”  

Finn’s eye twitched, remembering how the Young Bucks fucked him over.

“The Bullet Club is nothing to me now. They ruined it!”

“The Elite’s worse, nothing but kissing Kenny’s ass, apparently he was looking to go to Impact and take their top title”

“Thank god the old man bought them, Impact might have been the worse part of my career but AEW would have ruined them” Violet sipped her ice coffee.

Adam sighed.

“I don’t know what happened. One minute he was my brother, now he’s a stranger” Adam said quietly as Ava rubbed his back

"Its okay, your going to take the AEW title from him at All Out." Ava consoled him.

The 2 couples finished their meal and left the restuarant, Finn and Violet heading to the arena to get ready for Smackdown, and Ava and Adam walking though the city streets enjoying each other's company. 

"This has been great" Ava says as they finally end up back at the hotel

"We'll have to do it again sometime" Adam replied causing Ava to blush again.

"Maybe next time….just the two of us?" He asked softly

“No demon and vampires. No Dark Order” Ava agreed. Adam hugged her.

“Adam!” Evil Uno yelled. The pair looked at the stable. Anna walked over. “Well, the date was a success so Alex made you this” She handed a black jacket to Ava. It had a purple rose stitched in the back.

“Wow, Alex’s a suckup” Adam joked. “I’m totally wearing this next week” Anna smiled.

“C’mon Adam, before the idiots start screaming” 

He rolled his eyes but hugged Ava goodbye, kissing her hair before walking away.

The Next Week 

After spending the weekend and into the next week bouncing between elation over her successful date with Adam (including spending a hefty amount of time texting back and forth with the cowboy) and annoyance that Kenny just would not stop texting and calling, it was finally Wednesday and time for that weeks episode of Dynamite, at which Ava had a match against Nyla Rose.

 

Over the past few days she had gone hunting for more appropriate gear to compliment her new jacket and was now wearing black leather shorts with purple accents and a purple and black corset top. 

"Don't you look like a full fledged member of the misfit society, I really thought you'd have better taste Sweetheart" Kenny said walking up to her, the Young Bucks flanking him

“I’ve liked purple and black before the Dark Order existed” Ava snapped.

Kenny grabbed her arm. “Let go!”

“I just want what’s best for you” Kenny said fiercely 

“HEY!” Darby Allin hit Kenny with a skateboard.

“She’s said no to you for weeks now, get lost!” He roared, Ava seeing why Mox had pretty much adopted him.

Kenny looked panicked and all but ran. The Bucks, glaring at her as the followed

“Thanks” Ava said to Darby. “I hate that fucker”

"Join the club" Darby replied 

Later that night after beating Nyla Rose, Ava was celebrating in the ring when Kenny's music hit and The Elite surrounded the ring. 

"I really tried to do this in private Ava, baby but you just won't listen to me, you'd rather hang out with those losers instead of being part of The Elite"

“I. Am. Not. Your. Baby!” Ava screamed,.

Kenny stepped in, smirking. “Just accept the date”

The crowd began chanting variations of yes and no. 

Then the music of the Dark Order hit, Adam leading the stable to a beat down. Colt tackled Kenny, Adam waving sarcastically at him before going over to Ava, "You okay Darlin?"

"Yeah, fucking asshole. Why won't he leave me alone" 

"Ava, Ava!" Kenny panted, "I have a deal for you, since you and the drunk, seem so close lately, Next week….you and Adam against me and Britt Baker. You win, you get a title shot at All Out. You two lose, Cowboy loses his shot, and you go out with me"

Ava looked at Adam, who was clenching his jaw. Anna and Evil Uno nodded their heads.

Ava grabbed a mic. “We accept! And let’s raise the stakes!!! If we win and move on to kick you asses at All Out, you leave me the fuck alone!” 

Kenny gulped "Done!"

“I’ll add to that!” Adam yelled. “When I kick your ass, you don’t get to have a rematch as long as I’m champion. Let someone else get an opportunity”

"Deal!" Kenny said cockily "It doesn't matter anyway "You two are gonna lose and when you do...not only will Adam never get a shot at the AEW Championship,  Ava...baby...your all mine" 

[444piscesprincess]

childhood friends to lovers/growing up together sterek fic reclist

uhh this kinda got a lil angsty but i recommend you pick a growing up together fic and listen to this song i promise you will not regret it 

https://open.spotify.com/track/5Dz8nrwQlPLE68WaTEIqY5?si=aogjMc1aToSALmAlfQOR7A 

anyways as usual check tags please!!

(click on the title for the fic)

you know you're on my mind

bibliosexual

Summary:

If there’s one thing Derek’s learned in life, it’s that crushing on someone who lives on an entire other fucking continent is probably a bad idea.

(hs!au + texting!au + childhood friends to lovers the ULTIMATE fluff fic)

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)   (series)

yodasyoyo

Summary:

Stiles is six years old when he first hears Derek's voice in his head.

Or what happens if you have a soulmate bond, in a universe where soulmate bonds don't exist?

Up Down Lock Unlock

isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

Summary:

“Why are you going into grandma Ito’s apartment?” he asked.

Derek turned to him, key sliding into the lock. “What do you mean?” He tried to turn it, but the key wasn’t budging. Maybe the lock was sticking again, it’d been doing that the past few days.

Stiles was staring at him like Derek was stupid.

Derek did not appreciate sass from a ten year old.

“That’s grandma Ito’s place.”

“No,” Derek said calmly, pulling the key out and then shoving it back in, wiggling it a little when it continued to refuse to unlock the door. “This is my place.”

“I think you’re on the wrong floor then, because that apartment belongs to grandma Ito.”

(time travel counts as childhood friends right?)

the difference between going back and going home

thepsychicclam

Summary:

Stiles and Derek were inseparable growing up, but then college, jobs, and life happened. When Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills a decade later, he doesn't expect to reconnect with Derek, and he sure doesn't expect to fall in love with him.

It's Such a Gas When You Bring Up the Past

orphan_account

Summary:

Stiles finds a box of old photo albums that dredge up the sweet, the funny, the adorable, and the mildly heartwrenching parts of his and Derek's past.

(mainly a friends fic but its too cute to not include)

It's Always Been You

charlesdk

Summary:

Stiles' love life was practically non-existing, always had been. He was always terrible at picking up clues when people hit on him (it had happened, Erica had been witness to it and had been the one to let him know it was happening in the first place) because he never expected anyone to do so.

He wasn't the most desirable guy around, he knew that. He was loud, extremely nerdy, never knew when to stop talking, not exactly much of a looker if you asked him, the list was endless.

Point was, he never did know when someone was flirting with him. Which was probably how he ended up in the fight that would change his life for the better.

Lead You Home Again

GotTheSilver

Summary:

The first time Derek meets Stiles, the kid’s brown eyes are wide, and he’s staring up at him with a mischievous grin as he tugs at the arm of Derek’s first ever Batman figure like he’s trying to separate it from Batman’s body.

An alternate take on Teen Wolf, wherein Stiles and Derek are childhood friends, and things unfold from there.

Kingdom By The Sea

kilaem

Summary:

Lydia grabs his arm and pulls him down in the seat next to her. “When the hell did you find time to bag a guy like Hale?”

“We’re friends,” Stiles feels his face heat up, and then the team are running out and Derek sees him and smiles. His blush gets worse.

“Oh really?”

“Our moms were friends, okay? We’ve been in diapers together.”

“I thought you two hated each other.”

Those That Bump In The Night

bleep0bleep

Summary:

A boy’s head appears upside down, hanging off the bed. “Is anyone there?” he calls out curiously, looking right at Derek’s eyes. Caught, then. The protocol for being deliberately seen by a child is just to look as strange and fearsome as possible. No one would believe them, anyways. But Derek is tired, and he’s been running and scared, and now he just kind of flickers, curling out a tendril of dark smoke, hoping that he’s a little bit scary. No such luck. The boy’s eyes widen. “Oooh, are you the bogeyman?” “Bogeyperson,” Derek says, before he can help himself.

~

When Stiles was a boy, he had an imaginary friend named Derek. Ten years later, Derek comes back, and is very, very real.

Five Times Derek and Stiles Kissed For Practice (And One Time They Didn't)

mikkimouse

Summary:

In which Derek and Stiles grow up together and practice kissing, roughly in that order.

216 + 1: Words To Say Instead of I Love You

briggs

Summary:

Derek and Stiles have been best friends for fourteen years. They have their differences, sure, but it's never been a question for them. Their friendship has been the most solid thing in their lives -- until suddenly it isn't anymore.

Funny how just a few choice words can throw fourteen years of friendship off-balance.

OR

a collection of "Bro, That's Gay" one-shots that actually ended up turning into a concrete storyline.

hope is the thing with feathers (part of a series)

ShanaStoryteller

Summary:

Stiles is ten when he saves the Hales from their burning home and Derek from a wolfsbane bullet, and this establishes a pattern that seem to continue indefinitely.

"Then he's facing a burning home, and he wraps the hood of his sweatshirt around his mouth before he pushes the door open and steps inside. There's Mr. Hale asleep - he hopes asleep - on the couch, next to - Stiles thinks that's his brother but there are so many Hales, who can keep track. He rushes over and starts shaking him, can see the rise and fall of the man's chest so he knows he's alive, but he's not waking up. He shoves away his hood so he can shout, "Mr. Hale! You have to get up, there's a fire! Mr. Hale, get up!" Nothing, he's not even twitching, both of them taking in deep even breaths like they're having the most peaceful of rests, and Stiles is going to cry. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" There's a moment, where all Stiles can hear is the blood rushing in his ears and not the roar of the flames or the creak of wood, then with a violent, silent pop it's all back and both of the men are gasping awake, eyes open and jumping to their feet. "

(one of my favourite fics like EVER)

it came from the trees

whatshouldntbe

Summary:

“Don’t worry, Scott caught me up on everything,” Kira assures with a bubbly smile via video-chat. “You and Derek, huh? I probably should have seen that coming. I always thought it might be Cora, but Derek was the one that looked at you how I used to look at you.”

Stiles goes a little pink. “It’s still kinda new but, yeah. I really like him. He’s...” Beautiful. Patient. Smart. Painfully honest. Sweet.“...a total dork.”

Kira laughs and laughs. When she gets herself together, she replies, “Yeah, those little hearts and stars in your eyes definitely say different."

or

Stiles moves from the shiny, fast-paced lifestyle of Los Angeles to the foggy, sleepy town of Beacon Hills so his dad can become the new sheriff. Newly fifteen, he does his best to finish out his freshman year of high school (by staying under the radar) when he suddenly becomes the Beyoncé of the Supernatural community. And, without much prompting on his part, he ends up catching the eye of one of the most prominent Werewolf families in all of North America. It literally all starts with a stuffed animal(s).

(oh god this fic is the literal best even though its abandoned it ends at okay-ish place. this is one of the best hale family characterisations ive ever read. if you squint it can be a childhood friends to lovers fic but im including it anyway bc its amazing)

Promises aren't Meant to be Broken

paradis

Summary:

“Thanks for saving me,” Stiles blurts out, staring up at Laura, wide eyed.

Laura grins. “I like you,” she says, “we’ll be friends.”

(more laura and stiles besties centric but totally worth a read)

The Things We See

MelodramaticSalad

Summary:

Stiles grew up in the life of knowing that there was always more to life than what others saw with a first glance. Even as a child he saw things that no one else seemed to and always had a fascination with the unusual.

Some considered him an unusual child, but Claudia welcomed every single quirk her son displayed. His mother had a few special talents of her own and thrilled her to see it in her son as well. She'd raised Stiles to always keep his mind open and as grew and started to display his powers, she began to teach him how to use them. She even taught Stiles about werewolves at a young age, his infatuation with them growing once he had learned the truth about her closest friend.

Stiles spent nearly every possible moment that he could roaming the Hale house, following after the middle child most of the time. Derek was three years older than Stiles, but the bond they developed with each other was something their mothers considered out of a story book. Like Derek, Stiles was sensitive to his emotions, but unlike Derek, Stiles didn't need a scent to figure it out. He could feel it.

take me back

matildajones

Summary:

“I dare you to kiss me,” Stiles taunts, and he’s not expecting the way Derek says a naughty word under his breath and then leans forward.

Stiles yelps. He just dodges Derek’s mouth before he’s laughing wildly and running through the trees, calling out a series of ew ew ew as Derek chases him back home.

[peachbearies]

omg ion know if ur taking. Requests rn but I was wondering just a cute lil imagine bout zion in which the reader and him are dating and it's they're one yr aniversary or sum idk lol but just zion being a cutie and telling how much he loves her and shiii (because we all know that his ass acts all big and bad but he is a 6'4 teddy bear irl) yaa ik that was supper cringey but shehej yee okay byee (ur an amazing writer btw I've read all ur work and may I saY I stan 💖)

Promise: Z.kuwonu

Requested

›› Synopsis: it’s your first anniversary with Zion, around this trademark period it makes you apprehensive but Zion reminds you how much

›› Genre: Fluff

›› Paring: Female Reader x Zion Kuwonu

›› Warnings: Slightly hinted nsfw, lots of cursing (I mean it Zion so…), a little glimpse of toxic behavior.

›› A/N: what?! This is not cringe at all baby! I admire cheesy romantic headcanons/ imagines like this. My likes and drafts are filled with fluffs or angst to fluff🤧. I’m sorry this is a tad bit delinquent And thank you for reading my work that means a lot I’ve been exploring a lot of vocabulary words to scrutinize my writing, this may be a long one I apologize I got too into it.

The marvels of what a year could do. From going through a hurricane of songster roaring at each other, the strikes of austere comments leading up to the thunderstorm of a anguish. Your ex-fiancé cheated on, with considerable women before you found out. The ring on your finger was nothing but a reflector and leverage for him, he wanted to appear a saint to the kingdom, but a devil in the moonlight. Apologizing and buttering you up like a slice of bread, didn’t make you dawdle.

Your lucidity and rectitude were more caliber than staying, so you moved out of your shared apartment a week later, during the rotation of moving haphazardly you’ve incoherent yourself from the boys' realm, nor have your inner circle heard of you. You dissipated from the earth. And if you had to be adequate, you relished it that way, what was anyone overlooking anyways? but you were silently asking for space, you would give your leg for it.

Zion stirring in disgruntle, pushing profanities in between his gritted teeth. Don’t get mistaken he wasn’t mad you were ignoring him, just by the way your handling things on your own, he knew it had to be really fucked up if you couldn’t come to him. The veins crawling up his proffered hands outstretched for the keys. The boys jumping up in fear he may do something reckless, Brandon putting his hand in front of the boys to halt them. “Listen—even if we stop him, say anything to him or follow him, he will remotely do exactly what you think he’s going to do, you know how much he cares about (y/n), all we can do is have faith in him” Brandon confirms, but deep inside that rickety heart of his fear was kicking his ass too. They all discern Zion, once the peak of anger overflows his eyes only opines vermilion.

Zion parked in the lot, not noticing your car ghosting its rightful place. His mind was set on figuring what was wrong with you. Climbing the flight of stairs, he knocks on your door, his foot tapping the pallid base. When the door swung open it was ex-fiance, their eyes met in pique just burning to throw punches and a few sparks of curse words. “What do you want?” Your ex tempts him.

For your sake, Zion never snapped in front of him the way he should’ve. “Not you that’s for sure” commenting on his current attire, which was shirtless and some sweatpants. “Where’s (y/n)?” He queries, a scruffy ‘tsk’ pass through his lips. “Not here, that bitch moved out after she broke up with me”

Zion looked at his watch the time read 9:35 pm. “Cool, all I need is nine minutes of your time” Zion tranquility explains to him. Swinging and docking him in the throat; the girl that was staying with him bolting into the living room finding the source of the thump. She screams for Zion to get off him, after give or take six punches, Zion walks away not giving him or her the slightest sight. “If I catch you or her around y/n, better make sure you have good health care insurance and dental”

The next day he waited outside your classroom leaning his foot up against the wall; few girls noticed him but that wasn’t on his mind. When your silhouette appeared, he excused himself in a rush to catch you. “Pretty rich seeing a smile from a ghost” your heart dropped; the voice you were scared to dump your problems on.

What lie could you conjure? “Hey Zion” you breathe, turning in his direction. “That’s my fault I’m sorry, dealing with classes and moving I lost track of time” which was half correct, but it wasn’t the biggest factor. Zion tilted his head, signature hand in hoodie pocket. Closing your eyes with a heavy sigh, you knew he didn’t believe you nor did he want to push you. “Zion—“ he groped your wrist pulling you to the parking lot, he leaned on his car's hood without saying a drop of words, he wants for you to stream all your worries.

“Well, that’s half the reason. Okay, I didn't mean to go completely ghost, life just wasn't easy for me lately, I didn't want to add more dead weight to your shoulder. Sorry” zion scoffs pushing himself away from the car with no hands. But they followed the path to your jawline. ”burden on my shoulder or not, they're made for you to cry on. Stop going through things on your own alright?, as long as I'm here you don't have to sink”

Ever since you and zion grew close, a year later and he still gazes at you like a diamond. Even after a year, the astonishment gets the better of you. The insecurities start raging in, fighting in a war of love and hate. Your phone was laid upon the cherry wooden table, the vibrations frightening you, the goosebumps crawling up your arms. The name it read was “Love🤍”

“Hello?” You answer still shaken up; Zion lets out a soft scoff that vibrates through your body “you’re still in bed mamas? you should be awake beautiful” rubbing your eyes slightly, the clock flashed the numbers ‘ 2:30 pm’ your groan only makes him smile bigger.

“Goddamn I love you, look how ravishing you are in the morning” Zion's eyes shimmering in adoration. Those eyes always reflected his emotions, deep down you knew Zion loved you wholeheartedly, but the fear of having something good taken from you. That is what kept you hesitant. “No, I don’t stop lying” you stroke his ego.

“Me? Lie? Babygirl, I can’t and won’t lie to you stop playing” Zion said in a low octave, your stomach stirred in feelings “do me a favor baby” “Which is?” You reply, Zion looks over on his nightstand smiling. “Why are you smiling? Are you being mischievous again?”

“Who me? Nah” Zion shrugs off. The ringing of the doorbell distracted you from his spreading grin “answer that” sighing you walk towards the door, propping your phone on the counter, Zion moans out loud. “Maybe I should’ve slept over last night! Who told you to look that good mamas?” Ignoring his flirty antics you open the door, glimpsing at fresh bouquets of your favorite flower and a self-care basket. “Baby!!!” You screech, Zion simpers at the brightest smile on your face. The sun doesn’t shine as bright as you did at the moment.

“Why?, why are you so loving to me” you start to happy cry “Nah baby none of that, I love you too damn much for you to self-deprecate” Zion shuts your negativity down. Flipping the card over you read the message. ‘You thought I’d forget the day you changed my life? I’ve always loved you and I’ll continue to love you, but it’s not your love that I adore the most, it’s those gorgeous eyes that look back at me. Like I’m some type of angel when we all know that’s you, it’s the way you’re compassionate about others, I love your free spirit baby you’re a dove to me, even though I get under your nerves, I wouldn’t want anyone else to deal with me or my problems happy one year’

You look up at Zion, his eyes were already glossing by admiring your figure. Oh, how you wish jumping through a screen wasn’t just a cartoon thing. “Fuck” you whisper covering your face “angel, you are beautiful” Zion reminds you “stop!!! I’m in my feelings!!” You Jokingly spat at him. “What you wanna do for our anniversary it’s up to you” Zion smiles.

“Can we go to a petting zoo then get tacos?” Your eyes sparkling as your lips turn into a pout, Zion looking up towards the ceiling as his Adam’s apple points at the camera. “Yes, how could I say no” twenty minutes later Zion was at your house, complimenting you the whole car ride. Protectively and passionately rubbing circles on your knees being careful not to raise his hand any further.

“Look! Rabbits” Zion follows your finger pulling you in that direction, you sit on the bench holding the rabbit in your lap feeding it the food. Zion takes pictures of you getting the best angles, falling in love with your beauty, even more, the way the golden light bounced off your skin. It made him think twice if you were real or just a lucid dream. Feeding the monkeys were the best part, they hugged you and Zion; even gave you two kisses. The giraffes were the most exciting to you, joking to your boyfriend “wow look something taller than you”. Walking into a blue-lit aquarium a class of fish surrounded the both of you. Your finger softly touching the fish that was pressed against the glass, it followed your every move. Never realizing Zion detached his hand from yours, it hasn’t hit you until a ring was slid on your finger.

“Not an engagement ring, but soon don’t worry this is a promise ring, and I promise that you’ll feel nothing but comfort and love with me” his fingers gripped into your waist “with a side of pleasure too” you smack his shoulder while smiling ear for ear. “You promise?” “Of course I do, I wholeheartedly promise, I will never hurt or disrespect you baby, you mean too much to me”

Once you were back to the apartment your body couldn’t even make it to the bed, but Zion helped you to the bathroom. To wash off the dirt and sweat, even helped you with your skin routine. His fingers padding over every inch of your back, your soft snores in the crook of his neck. “I’m so glad to be the girlfriend of your dreams” you whisper “oh lord she’s finally figured it out!!” Zion pushes your buttons “should I send you back home?” You test him, “you wouldn’t dare, you need me tonight” Zion teases his swollen lips attacking your neck upwards your jawline, a low gruffly growl trickles down your spine.

“So is this the side of pleasure?” You press your teeth into your lower lip “if that’s what you want”

“Well, you did make a promise” wasting no time Zion straddles you, your legs wrapped around his waist, giggling at how he fumbled to remove his shirt.

“You damn right I made a promise, and I’ll show you how serious this promise is” Zion kisses up your stomach “I love you”

Your hands cupping his jaw the breathing becoming erratic “I love you too”

[carriagelamp]

September Book Roundup, back-to-school edition aka The Season Of Red apparently?

Here is a selection of the books I’ve read this month. Summer is over, so the little bit of brain power I had managed to scrape together is quickly disintegrating, so enjoying the hodge podge of stories.

Binti

This was probably my favourite book that I read this month. It’s a novella I first heard about hear on tumblr and went to find a copy in my library. I have since bought the collected trilogy so I can read book two and three at my leisure because it was honestly just that friggin cool. This is exactly my flavour of scifi and I tend to be very very picky about the scifi I consume. It’s about a girl named Binti, a member of the Himba people (a real group of indigenous people from Namibia). They are a people well known for their mathematical and technical prowess, but due to their strong connection to their homeland and the earth they choose not to travel through space like so many other humans do. However, when Binti secures a position at Oomza University, the greatest university in the galaxy, she chooses to go against her family’s wishes and traditions in order to set out into space to attend. Everything is ruined though when her spaceship is attacked by a hostile alien race and everyone is killed but Binti, who must rely on all her intellect and abilities if she wants any chance at survival.

A seriously cool book with great world building – it really successfully introduces readers not only to the fictional scifi world and races of the novel but also to the culture and traditions of the Himba people. It’s a quick read, and feels like a cross between Dead Space and Tamora Pierce. Would totally recommend a read.

Fake Blood

A Canadian graphic novel. It was a goofy cute read. It’s about an awkward group of friends in middle school, and one boy with a crush on one of the girls in his class. Knowing her love for vampire stories, AJ decides, like any self-respecting middle schooler, to try to pretend he’s a vampire. Naturally nothing goes right and some things go wrong in unexpected ways. It’s funny and cute. Nothing amazing but it was a cozy evening read.

The Last Book On The Left

I’ve been listening to this podcast a lot since my friend recommended it to me and finally decided to read their book. For those that don’t know, The Last Podcast On The Left is a immaculately researched comedy podcast that’s hosted by Ben Kissel, Marcus Parks, and Henry Zebrowski, and explores the darker realms of human nature. Ghosts, paranormal, aliens, cults, and of course serial killers. In this book they collected several of their biggest name serial killer series, did some renewed research, and put together a book that is both informative, irreverent, gross, and very funny, complete with some really amazing illustrations by Tom Neely. A very cool read (and listen, if you decide to check out the podcast instead), I really love how they tell these stories without idolizing or romanticizing the people they talk about. Their humour always makes sure you know exactly how much of a pathetic loser these people are. Fantastic true crime, from someone who has never really felt the need to read about true crime before.

Midnight Sun

I won’t harp on this one, everyone is already going to firmly have their opinions here. I grew up on Twilight, I was reading them as they came out, and I still love them. Were they dumb? Oh my god yes. Did they have problems? Sure, they came out in 2005 it was part and parcel. Were they also a really fun for a thirteen year old to read? Absolutely, I don’t regret it. Sometimes teenage girls should just to get like things without being mocked.

Anyway, I am off my soapbox now (can you tell this is still a raw spot for me?) I unironically loved this book! Getting to see Edward’s perspective was really cool, and since he can read minds it essentially let you get the perspective of everyone else around him too. The Cullens family is a great set of characters so it was really cool to see more of them, and I was very impressed by how Stephenie Meyers took a YA romance she wrote in 2005 and was able to make it feel updated and more appropriate for a 2020 audience even though she couldn’t actually change any of the events themselves. So fans of Twilight, don’t be ashamed, go read Midnight Sun and have the shameless fun you deserve. Is there anymore appropriate book for the bizarre ass year that was 2020 than a return to this goofy nonsense?

The Paperbag Princess

(and Up, Up, Down, and Robert Munsch in general)

I’m back in schools so I’m back to reading children’s book! And honestly, and of you that don’t occasionally sit down and read a kids book out loud don’t know what you’re missing. Anyway, Robert Munsch is a Canadian author, and one of my all-time favourite children’s authors. It surprised me to learn he isn’t as well known in the States apparently? I don’t know if that’s changed or not, but he is a Canadian staple for a good reason, his books have ridiculous premises, are specifically written to be fun to read out loud, and have beautiful, involved, and hilarious illustrations. The Paperbag Princess is one of my absolute favourites, and as a kid it was one of the first stories I had ever read where a princess is the one saving the prince… and then telling the prince to piss off when it turns out he’s a jerk. Up, Up, Down is another favourite I reread this month, because it’s just hilarious funny and makes a fantastic read aloud with kids. Some other Robert Munsch I reread this month include: Mmm, Cookies, More Pies, Ribbon Rescue, Just One Goal, and Andrew’s Loose Tooth. You just cannot go wrong, for kids or adults.

Pit Pony

Another Canadian staple while I was growing up. If you’re a young adult know who went through the Canadian elementary school system, you probably had your entire heart ripped out and stepped on by this chapter book. It’s a historical fiction that looks at the economic hardship, debt slavery, child labour, and animal abuse that was tied to coal mining in the Maritimes. Finding a copy was harder than I would have expected give how pervasive it was a decade or so back, but reading it again was a pure shot of nostalgia.

Seeking Refuge

A graphic novel written by a German-born Canadian about a Jewish girl who flees Nazi-occupied Austria by way of Kindertransport to become a child refuge in England. It follows her as she is moved from host family to host family as the war continues to pick up and gradually makes it’s way to the United Kingdom as well. It’s very poignant and the pencil-sketch illustrations are an interesting change to a lot of the graphic novels that are out right now. This story is still aimed at a younger audience, so it never gets too brutal but it still is a hard hitting story, especially with everything else going on right now.

Silver Spoon #9/10

I know I’ve talked about these books before, but my library got some more since I last read them, so I’m continuing my way through the series. It’s about a teenaged boy who, after having a breakdown from the pressure he was feeling to study and succeeded, decided not to attend an academic, urban high school, but rather to apply for an agricultural high school so he could live in the dorms, far away from his parents. The series just gets more and more heartwarming as it continues. It’s all about failure and overcoming and how worth can be measured in different ways, and about family and understanding each other and coming together… but also about the realities of farming which aren’t always very nice, especially when it comes to finances and survival. It’s written by the mangaka behind Fullmetal Alchemist but I’ll be honest… I think I like this series more. It is honestly one of my all time favourite manga series, it just has so much heart.

Ruby Finds A Worry

aka Ruby’s Worry apparently? I can’t figure out why this has more than one title. I actually read it in French not English, so for me it was Le Souci de Calie. Regardless, this was a nice little picture book for talking about worries and anxieties with children… especially with the amount of Covid stress a lot of kids are dealing with. It explains in a really nice way how talking about anxieties are often the best way to make them more manageable, and how pretending nothing is wrong can just let it grow bigger and bigger. A good explanation for kids and possible a good reminder for adults.

War of the Realms: Journey Into Mystery

I read this because the Mcelroy family wrote it so I figured Hey! Why not give it a go! And I’m glad I did. Their brand of humour was all over it, and it made the story a delight to read. I don’t follow all of Marvel’s weirdness, so I didn’t actually know most of the characters (Miles and Kate were actually the only two I was familiar with) but they do a great job of introducing the characters and making them all feel distinct and interesting. I absolutely adore the Dog of Gods (God of Dogs) who is a very very good boy. And Miles is absolutely always a delight so you can’t really lose. It’s a single book that I think is a part of a larger plotline that I have zero interest in. This book is a fine one to read though if you don’t mind jumping into the middle of the action and just getting swept along for the ride. Also Mcelroys!

Witcher Omnibus

Bleh. Absolutely not worth it. All the misogyny and Dumb Bullshit that I hate in the original books and from video games in general. Honestly, Witcher III did way better by its characters than most of these short stories. The only one worth reading in it is Curse Of Crows – that one was actually really enjoyable, probably because it was about Ciri and had an actual fucking woman on the writing team. (Seriously guys what were you thinking with Fox Children that’s literally just a story from Season of Storms but done worse. Fuck off.) If you like The Witcher, go read Curse of Crows and skip every other story in this book.

Billy Stuart: Les Zintrépides #1

Another French (Quebecois) book I read, though I believe you can get it in English as well (Billy Stuart and the Zintrepids). It’s a chapter book / graphic novel hybrid, and was honestly a fairly fun little read. It’s in a similar vein to Geronimo Stilton but done much better in my opinion. The humour was funnier, the characters felt less like caricatures, and while it still used stylized fonts it was also less intrusive and eye-strainy than the Stilton books. Also when the story suddenly pivots into the main adventure and mystery of the series? Fantastic. Was not expecting a hell-beast to appear part way through the story. Very interested in reading more.

Over all, it was cute and funny, and I can see it being a good next step when children have read their fill of the Stilton series and want something similar but possibly a bit more involved and coherent.

[blouisparadise]

Here is a list of amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of January. Between the second month of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest and all the other fics that authors posted throughout the month, it’s clear that this was a great way to start off the year of bottom Louis fics!  Happy reading!

1) You Can Be The Boss Daddy | Explicit | 1641 words

This is just Louis being used and humiliated by his strong Daddy

2) Don't Pretend That I Don't Entice You | Explicit | 2086 words

“Speaking of which, he couldn't wait to get home to see him. They both worked long days and most of the time their days off didn't line up. But they made up for things like that when they could, spending hours cuddling in bed and talking about the randomest of things or ya know, having mind-blowing sex that left them sated and panting, heated limbs tangled together and breaths and scents mingling. Harry enjoyed those moments quite a bit, if he was going to be at all honest.”

3) The Sound Of Music | Explicit | 2602 words

Harry quietly makes his way down the stairs and into the large foyer, the marble floors are cold against his bare feet and he regrets not taking his slippers.

The tinkling of piano keys flirts its way to his ears and he turns his head in the direction of their living room. His mouth quirks sideways with a smile and he makes his way towards the music.

4) Letters From Boston | Explicit | 3316 words

Louis’s standing in the kitchen when he opens the first letter.

5) Starlight In Your Eyes Of Blue | Mature | 4434 words

Harry is in New York while Louis is back home at London waiting for Harry’s return. Unfortunately, Harry may be unable to come back home in time for Christmas and most importantly—Louis’ birthday. Louis can’t wait any longer to be in a bed that’s no longer empty but in the end it changes.

6) I Couldn’t Get Away From You | Mature | 5185 words

Suddenly in the heat of the moment, Harry’s eyes turned darker as he pushed Louis’ back more and more towards the wall. “Fine.” He plants his lips on Louis’ and begins to roughly kiss him, soon enough turning it into a make-out session.

“Fuck you, Styles,” Louis moans and grips onto Harry’s shoulders, hands trailing up to the taller’s hair and gripping that as well.

“We’ll see about that.”

7) My Kingdom for Your Graces | Explicit | 5257 words

Louis gets a last minute day off and Harry decides to surprise him with a visit. They proceed to do what lovers do.

8) I Think I'm In Love | Mature | 6019 words

Louis' a young man looking for love. Harry's a sugar daddy looking for a new sub. They meet through a dating app and decide to try out a relationship.

9) Daddy's Little Kitty | Mature | 7224 words

Harry Styles is a gentle master. But what happens when Louis pushes him to his limits?

10) There's More Than One Place To Call Home | Explicit | 8416 words

Harry never asked for much from his neighbors - he didn't care about barking animals during the day or loud talking during the night.

The only thing he needed was silence when he was writing. And that was the only thing his new neighbor wouldn't give him.

Deciding to confront the loud guy who lived next door, Harry found himself ringing his doorbell one night. And that decision just may be the best thing that's ever happened to Harry.

11) Cooking With Styles | Explicit | 9119 words

Anyone can cook— or so they say.

12) Watching The World Fall | Explicit | 11777 words

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

13) We'll Be the Fine Line | Not Rated | 13443 words

Louis listens to Fine Line, and, drunk, he leaves a voicemail for Harry after months of not speaking. This reminds Harry of a time before everything fell apart, slowly, painfully, a time when the two of them were still in love. And he desperately wants to go back.

14) (You're Gonna See Me In A) New Light | Mature | 13631 words

A fake relationship au where everyone knows it's real but Louis.

15) Don't Know If I Could Ever Go Without | Explicit | 14140 words

“We’ve come up with a solid solution. You’re not going to like it.”

“What is it?” Louis narrows his eyes suspiciously, glancing at a visibly enthusiastic Liam.

“What if you pretended to be an Alpha?” Zayn suggests.

16) Something Wicked This Way Comes | Explicit | 16526 words

A regency murder mystery au where Louis is married to an earl and Harry is a detective. Hatchets are buried but not everyone is as they seem.

17) Keep It Sweet In Your Memory | Explicit | 17039 words

'How'd it go?' Harry pushes them into Niall's room and shuts the door behind him, so Georgia doesn't overhear.

'It was good. We just caught up, mostly... I may have done something a little stupid, though.'

And Niall's eyebrows are in his hairline at that.

'I mean. Okay, so I invited Louis out on Saturday.'

'Saturday? Your--'

'Yes, my bachelor party...' and then Harry has to explain himself, 'I just felt guilty. I think. He was like. Telling me he wanted to hook up.'

'He WHAT!?'

'No. I mean, not with me. Like. He wants to go out and meet people.'

'He'll hate that. He's too much of a romantic.'

'Yeah, well. Whatever his name was messed him up a little, it would seem.'

18) UN(RE)SOLVED | Explicit | 20873 words

The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?

Or, BuzzFeed Unsolved AU.

19) The Way The Storms Blow | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

20) Hold Onto This Heaven (Of Yours) | Explicit | 25213 words

an ode to being too young, too sad, and too in love.

(aka: a college au, harry is a frat boy, and louis wants to know all of his secrets.)

21) Weightless | Explicit | 25330 words

He hopes that Harry still thinks of him. God knows Louis thinks of him every day.

Or: Harry is the best dragon racer the world has ever seen and Louis is an almost-vet who feels like he is carrying the weight of the world.

22) Creep | Explicit | 26092 words

Harry is a wallflower, louis is a sophomore brat with a heart of gold no one seems to notice, harry, a senior, is a musician in disguise. louis finds him in the music room, Harry performing his self written song Creep on a talent show. he steals Louis' heart and begins to stalk Harry on social media, finding out the boy is gorgeous inside and out, tattoos popping against his milky skin, unashamed of his amazing body.

a story of a boy with dark thoughts finding his way through the dark with his light guiding him.

23) Blue Lotus | Explicit | 29815 words

Note: This fic is Louis/OMC.

After the Second Rebellion and the dismantling of President Cowell’s regime, Louis struggles to make sense of life.

A post-Hunger Games AU.

24) You Contain In Your Eyes The Sunset And The Dawn | Mature | 38152 

Harry Styles was to spend six months at AT&T Inc. of all telecommunications companies in the world, also known as the largest one in its field. This was the biggest deal of his life; it will both improve his expertise in the domain and maybe secure the job of his dreams. There was only one problem standing in the way, and it came in the form of a stunning, irresistible and intimidating cat hybrid of the name Louis Tomlinson. In other words, his boss.words

25) We Can Go On Forever (When Everything’s Gone Forever) | Mature | 39421

Harry spent most of his adult life focused on either his studies or his books - 5 of which he has already had published before he was 30. Immediately after completing his dissertation, he was offered a lectureship at Cambridge University where he’s been for 2 years now.

This wasn’t the first time in his life that he had felt the incessant itch to know more about a subject by any means. However, this was the first time the subject had been an Omega.

26) Canyon Moon | Explicit | 40895 words

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

27) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

28) If You're Out There (I'll Find You Somehow) | Explicit | 55916 words

Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”

OR the story of how one man’s love changed the world.

29) “If I Cut Out a Heart...” | Explicit | 66225 words

Stripper au! louis is a stripper who’s known for his huge ass. he works at a club owned by harry and everyone wants to fuck him. eventually louis has sex with each of the boys, separately and perhaps eventually all together in a big gang bang. lots of focus on louis’s big bum (even twerking, jiggling, etc.)

30) You Smell Like | Explicit | 185369 words

The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Ceaseless Discharge

In which Cassandra gets stung by a monster. Also there’s quality Cass and Eugene brother-sister content in here 👌👌

Word count: 6414

TW: Blood, vomit

———————

A crunch echoes in the darkness. Cassandra freezes in her cot. The moon is full, but the night is overcast, so she strained to see in the darkness when she sat up. A small cluster of bushes lined the clearing she was sleeping in, along with gnarled old trees that cast needle-like shadows across the grass from the firelight.

When she listened, there are no bells or hoofsteps, so it can't be a carriage approaching. Besides, this doesn't sound like the clatter is wheels on a dirt path, but a rasping scrape over gravel.

Movement in one of the further bushes. The clouds part. A shaft of moonlight glints off something shining among the leaves and brambles.

It's nighttime. She’s the only one awake in the camp. She’s heard tales of a beast stalking the countryside: the Fen Lion. A ghost, a monster, a hoax, depending on who you ask. It'd make an awfully good story if she saw it. That was the plan of this excursion, anyway— The King wanted to rid the kingdom of the creature stirring terror, and Rapunzel’s answer to that was to find it and ask it nicely to leave, or at least settle down. Of course, that dragged Cassandra and Eugene into the “quest”, as well, which was why they were sleeping out in the middle of the woods in the first place. Rapunzel had said something about the creature possibly having answers to the Black Rocks, which was a horrible way to convince them to agree, yet here they were.

Cassandra stood up slowly. The dying fire only provided some visibility outside the perimeter of the camp, so she had to squint—not that it helped. She had to go check out the sound, though. It could be a threat or someone in trouble. Or maybe she was just really curious, plain and simple.

She liked to do things thoroughly, so she grabbed her sword and slunk out of the fire’s glow and into the woods. She made sure to keep low and in the shadows, hoping the crunching of leaves and twigs beneath her boots weren’t as loud as she was hearing them.

Silent as a ghost, Cassandra paused just at the edge of the brush where she swore she heard the rustling. If she listened very carefully, she could hear something breathing.

She wondered if it could hear her heartbeat, which seemed to thunder in her ears.

Instead, there is a whimper. And then, slowly, something poked out of the dense cluster of leaves. Cassandra’s breath catches.

It isn’t the Fen Lion, but it is a wolf. It’s yellow eyes seem to glow in the dark, but as it swings its head from side to side, looking up and down the road, Cassandra can’t help but think that it looks scared. The wolf just looks so sad. Her heart goes out to it.

She stepped a little closer. After hesitating for a moment, she extended her hand. The wolf sniffs it; it’s definitely a flesh-and-blood animal, not a ghost.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. “Can I do anything?”

She wasn’t actually expecting an answer, but it replied with a strange combination of yelps and rumbles. Suddenly, clicking fills the air, and it goes silent. It glances up and growls. Cassandra looks up, too.

Good news: She found the Fen Lion.

Bad news: She found the Fen Lion.

It was a lot bigger than she was expecting, as tall as the trees themselves, which made her wonder how it had taken them so long to find it. It was also a lot less lion and a lot more snake because it had a flat, serpent-like head and was covered in iridescent scales that glinted in the moonlight leaking down from the canopy of leaves overhead. A tail with a menacing barb at the end flicked back and forth in the dirt. Eyes a color Cassandra has never seen before narrowed and, suddenly, there’s a large paw pinning her to the ground.

Cassandra tried to yell, but had no choice but to shut her mouth when razor sharp claws pressed into her flesh. She clenched her jaw, feeling utterly helpless as the creature weighed her down.

The Fen Lion rotated its head like an owl would, which doesn’t sit well with Cassandra’s stomach. She squirmed again, but the talons press harder and she hisses in pain.

“What do you want?” She spat with as much ferocity as one could muster when pinned beneath a giant monster that could kill them with one swipe.

The Fen Lion tilted its head to the other side, then a giant frill opened up along its neck, bordering the skull like a mane.

Maybe that’s where the name came from, then...

Colors flowed through the scales like a waterfall- red, blue, green, purple, yellow, pink, orange, red again; Cassandra felt like she was being hypnotized. She struggled once more, but was halted when a sharp pain seared through her left side. She looked down and was horrified to find the creature’s stringer embedded in her flesh.

The Fen Lion tipped its head up and almost seemed to be smirking smugly at her. It made a series of clicking noises and wrenched the stringer to the side, causing Cassandra to whimper in pain. She began to worry if it was going to kill her or gore her with its tail, but then the tip pulled out with a small spurt of blood.

The Fen Lion lifted its claws from where they had Cassandra pinned and stepped back. Another animalistic smirk twisted on its snout until Cassandra can no longer see it when inky black spilled over the scales and camouflaged it with the night. She can only stare in shock at where it used to be and listen to its footsteps walk away.

There, Cassandra lays until dawn. By then, the bleeding has stopped and she can see the wound clearly- it’s a tiny little thing, only around the size of her thumb, but had a mouth of red flames and drooled pus down her waist. At least, she thought it was pus. It did look a little too dark to be such a fluid, but it also wasn’t red, so it couldn’t be blood. When Owl flew down at her weak whistle, he took one sniff and reeled back in disgust.

“Great,” Cassandra grunted. She tried to sit up, but her limbs felt like they were made of ten ton lead. “This is just great...”

Owl hops onto one of her arms and peers into her tired eyes with a hoot. She glowered at him.

“No, I don’t need you to go get Rapunzel and Fancy Pants.”

Another hoot.

“No, I’m not going to tell them!”

Another, this time with more skepticism.

“God, why do I even try talking to you in a crisis situation?” Cassandra grumbled. “I’m fine. It can’t even be considered a cut.” She abruptly pushed herself up, sending colorful stars bursting across her vision. She blinked rapidly to fend them off from consuming her. “See?”

Owl gave her an unamused look. She shooed him away before standing up, at least finding that a little easier. But then she takes one step forward and nearly keels over again. The “I told you so” hoot from her avian companion doesn’t help, either.

It was going to be a miserable day.

———

They saw the creature on a cliff. It was perched on a pillar of rocks further in the distance, hunched over like a lurking vulture. When it noticed the group gawking at it, it sat back on its haunches and raised its long neck and large frill.

“Oh, look at that,” Eugene said. “I wonder if that’s why it’s called a ‘Fen Lion.’”

His voice sounded a million feet away in Cassandra’s ears. She wanted to focus on his words, on Rapunzel’s amazed comments, on Max’s breathing, but she couldn’t think about anything but the colorful eyes boring into her very soul and the hole festering in her side.

———

Monday.

It’s been two days since the run in with Fen Lion, and Cassandra has cleaned up her wound pretty well, yet she woke up feeling like she had a fever. She moaned softly and lifted a hand quaking with tremors to press against her forehead; it was quite warm, much to her dismay.

“Ugh...” She groaned. “Fuck this...”

After wallowing in bed for ten more minutes, she finally hauled herself out to put on her damned lady in waiting dress. Luckily, the exertion from doing so woke up her muscles, and the feverish feeling diminished into mere warmth behind her eyes once she splashed her face with some cold water.

Perhaps the day wouldn’t be so bad after all...

———

Tuesday.

Three days since the run in with the Fen Lion, and Cassandra’s fingernails feel like they’re shooting out of her fingers. They only stop hurting when she grates them against a solid surface. Rapunzel deals with the sound it makes when she does so while cleaning her room until she can’t anymore and politely asks her to stop. Cassandra obeys and stops.

Twenty minutes later, Cassandra starts again without even realizing it.

Rapunzel doesn’t say anything this time.

———

Wednesday.

Four days since the run in with the Fen Lion, and Cassandra feels itchy and achy all over. First, it starts at the site of the injury and she accidentally makes it bleed when she rips off the bandages and scratches desperately, then it spreads to other parts of her body until it feels like she had rolled in poison ivy.

“Uhh... Cass?” Rapunzel said at dinner.

“Yeah?” Cassandra replied.

“Are you okay?”

Cassandra blinked at her. She lowered her hand from where it had been itching her neck for at least five minutes straight. The marks it made glowered a seething pink in the open air.

“Yeah.” She said again.

“Cassandra has fleas,” Eugene said helpfully.

“I do not have fleas.” Cassandra growled as she scratched behind one of her ears like an itchy dog.

She didn’t have fleas, but there was something under her skin, making its home in her body. She wanted to claw her flesh open and rip it out, and such a lust for that violent alternative scared her.

———

Thursday.

Five days since the run in with the Fen Lion, and Cassandra thinks she’s turning into it. Her insides are beginning to burn.

———

Friday.

Six days since the run in with the Fen Lion, and fangs are growing in over the teeth that are already there—flat teeth, human teeth. Those have to go.

Her joints ache from kneeling on the cold stone floor of her bedroom; even the thin cloth of her lady in waiting dress does not dispel the chill.

The scales don’t come in right, growing into her skin, itching and scratching. She rakes her long, hooked nails over her ribs until she rips her dress and draws blood and yellow pus.

New joints bristle beneath her flesh, as itchy as the scales.

There are bruises on her wrists and wasted biceps, purple and yellow. No fault of anybody- her skin has become so delicate that even the gentlest bump against a surface leaves a mark.

Fever chills, seizures, blood from her bitten tongue, staining her blankets and drying in a crusty mess on her face.

She bars the door to her room and tells a passing guard with the most human voice she could muster that she would not be turning up to work that day.

———

Saturday.

Seven days since the Fen Lion ran off to a new location, and Eugene was strolling the halls of the castle after third training with the guards. An oncoming storm caused them to end early, which was fine. That meant he could go see Rapunzel sooner than usual.

However, on the way there he finds Cassandra in a dark corridor that was lit only by the crackling torches thanks to the dark grey, nearly black clouds outside. She was clenching a basket of clothes she was supposed to wash, and leaning against the wall. Such a moment where she let her guard down was a strength for Eugene in their ongoing feud over who could insult the other the most, so he quickly slid into the opportunity at full force.

“Too weak to even carry some clothes, Cassandra?” He teased. “And here I thought you were strong! Here, let me.”

He took the basket of clothes without permission or waiting for a response, and found that it was way lighter than he expected. He internally laughed; this was too easy!

He opened his mouth to make another remark and essentially gain another point on his side, but stopped when he realized that Cassandra hadn’t snapped at him or yelled or even taken a swing. She showed no signs of annoyance or anger.

“Cassandra?” Eugene waved a hand in front of her face- no reaction. “Cass?”

Eugene set the basket down and leaned over. Cassandra’s cheeks have an odd color tinting them. He also notices her eyes are kind of glassy and she’s…hot. Like, fever hot. He bends closer and sets his hands on the girl’s shoulders to steady her, and he can feel her shaking slightly. She opens her mouth and pants like a tired animal, and her teeth look really sharp. Glinting.

Cassandra reached out and gripped his arms for some kind of grounding, and her nails start tearing his sleeves. But that isn’t normal, is it? No, because she has claws and there’s a tiny hole with black, root-like veins in her side that Eugene can see when her shirt lifts up slightly.

“I think something is wrong with me,” Is what Cassandra whispered hoarsely right before she goes unconscious in his arms.

———

Saturday.

Seven days since the run in with the Fen Lion- since the Fen Lion ran off to a new location— since the Fen Lion stung its prey, and there’s an unconscious girl in Eugene’s bed and claw marks on his neck and back.

The rumbling, fire breathing sky is pouring out rain, and the wind was howling as if the kingdom was falling beneath its elemental talons. Raindrops that had to be as big as oranges pattered against Eugene’s bedroom windows loudly, making him worry that they may break, but he quickly turned his attention to the bigger issue at hand.

Cassandra is struggling to stay awake. She’s breathing harshly and blinking her eyes rapidly, fighting to keep away black spots from her vision—or maybe it was to keep back tears. Eugene would have teased her for the latter option if it weren’t for the intense worry he was feeling. Cassandra looked like death itself. Her skin was paler than usual, except for her cheeks, which were dark red from fever. Her face was soaked in sweat, plastering tendrils of damp black hair to her forehead. Not to mention the obvious claws and fangs and seemingly-infected hole in her side.

“Cassandra, can you hear me?” Eugene called out. He sat down on the side of the bed, carefully brushed back her sweaty bangs, and placed a wet cloth on her forehead. Doing so elicits a small noise of relief through grinding breaths and feeble whimpers. “What happened to you?”

“F-Fen Lion,” Cassandra panted. Her eyelids flutter shut for a moment, but she forces them back open. “It-it stung me. During th-the night.”

Eugene grimaced. He wouldn’t say he was surprised, though; hiding a possibly-venomous and fatal wound was very in character for Cassandra.

“Geez, Cass...” Eugene muttered. “I should get the doctor and Rapunz-”

“No—” Cassandra reached out and grabbed Eugene by the sleeve. “I-I d-didn’t just let you c-carry me here for y-you to blow it.” It was impossible to see her as threatening when she was like this and her voice was shaking so badly her words could barely be discerned. Eugene gently eased her back into a lying position, but she kept talking. “Y-you can’t—you can’t—” Her eyes become very cloudy. Eugene quickly swipes up the rag, which had fallen off, and dabs Cassandra’s hot face with it.

“Easy, Cass,” He murmured. “Breathe.”

“You can’t tell anyone.” Cassandra finally forced out. “P-please. You c-can’t.”

Eugene went to argue, but then he saw the look in Cassandra’s eyes and broke. He looked away in defeat.

“Geez, don’t give me those eyes—” He sighed. “Okay. Fine. I won’t.”

Cassandra manages a weak, thin smile.

“Thank you.”

Moments later, she blacks out from exhaustion. Eugene tucks her back under the blankets, places the rag on her forehead again, then goes to see Rapunzel. He keeps his word, however, and tells her that Cassandra went on a last minute excursion with a battalion of guards that were short handed. It would take her a few days to get back, he said.

Rapunzel buys it.

———

Sunday.

Nine days since the Fen Lion ordeal, and now sometime after midnight. Cassandra is asleep in Eugene’s bed as Eugene sits by a lantern and sharpens a sword. He couldn’t help but constantly glance over at the girl he was harboring in worry, which nobody could blame him for. Especially when she began to writhe and whimper.

“Cass?” Eugene put his tools down instantly and went to the bedside.

Cassandra rolled over and stared up at Eugene with eyes he’s never seen the color of before. They looked almost like a mix between silver, red, and blue, and were filled with tears that Cassandra didn’t have the energy to hold back.

“S-something is wrong,” She croaked.

Something was wrong, Eugene knew, and not because of the illness. He, too, could hear the subtle cracks and pops of Cassandra’s bones.

The wings came first.

They started out as little bumps that Eugene saw bulging underneath Cassandra’s shirt, but then they grew out and out and out until the shirt ripped and the skin ripped and they burst free with a splattering of blood.

Cassandra was now rocking back and forth on her knees and elbows as the wings awkwardly flapped on her back, heavy from all the fluids and cocoons of flesh swaddling them. She made a pained noise no human could make, and scales began to devour her skin. Each part of her they tough gets reformed- muscles twisting and turning, tendons reconnecting, bones snapping like twigs and reshaping entirely. It was all too much for her. She lost herself to the pain.

—

Eugene clawed wildly at his face when his friend’s blood splattered into his eyes. He rubbed vigorously, trying to watch and see and monitor what was going on, but he was momentarily blinded. All he could do was listen to the cracks of bone and tear of flesh and squelch of blood and sobs of pain, and maybe even thank whatever deity that he couldn’t see.

Eventually, the noises died down, replaced by rustling and low, very nonhuman sounds. Eugene opened his eyes and stared at the creature on his bed.

It was...small. Small for a monster, at least. It had to be only slightly larger than Max and could comfortably fit in his room. Firelight glimmered against raven black and navy blue scales. Mahogany and amber speckled the folded mane of frills around the neck. The eyes were the same indescribable color from before.

“Cass?” Eugene called out cautiously.

It- the thing- Cassandra looked at him and blinked. Then, she looked at her talons and screeched. She scrambled off the bed in a panic, tripping over her own tail in the process, and smashing into the wall. Watching her stagger around and then writhe on her back with her legs flailing awkwardly in the air genuinely made Eugene laugh- he couldn’t help it! As worrying as it was to see his friend and little sister figure turn into a giant (well, moderately sized) monster, this was priceless.

And then a guard knocked on the door and ruined it all.

“What’s going on in there?” The voice demanded.

“Uhh— Nothing!” Eugene called out. He frantically tries to shut up Cassandra, but she was too caught up in her monster panic attack.

“Open this door!” The guard ordered.

Eugene obeyed, but just opened it enough to where he could just peek his head out. He attempted to reason with the guard, but the man stormed inside with his weapon drawn to find...nothing. Nothing but a trashed room, of course.

“I told you!” Eugene said after a moment of bafflement.

“What happened here?” The guard asked.

“I was training. And it got a little out of hand.” Eugene answered.

The guard looked at him like he was crazy and then sidled out without another word. Eugene quickly closed the door, locked it, then turned around frantically. In the corner, he saw a shimmer and, suddenly, Cassandra appears in a mishmash of pale green and purple scales.

“Neat trick.” Eugene commented.

Cassandra can only reply in a chirp.

———

Monday.

One day since Cassandra has become a scaly, color-changing, draconic creature, and Eugene was taking her through the forest where the Fen Lion had been, hoping to find some way to reverse the effects of being stung.

When they arrived at the spot where Cassandra’s blood was dried in the grass, Cassandra tipped her snout up and sniffed the air. Then, she clicked at Eugene and tossed her head towards her back. For a moment, the man is very confused.

“Do...you want me to get on?” He asked, slightly unsure.

Cassandra clicked again, so Eugene straddled her back as if she were a horse and not a beast that could kill him with one swing of her deadly claws if she wanted to. Before he could ask what this was about or even get a proper grip on her scales, the creature catapulted forward, nearly launching her friend off of her back.

Headed straight for a cliff side where the Fen Lion was last spotted, which dropped into another section of the woods below them, Eugene began to question Cassandra’s sanity, even if she had wings (which she didn’t know how to use just yet); however, she leapt at the last moment, although that still didn’t make this first time dragon-riding any less traumatizing.

Eugene gripped onto Cassandra’s neck with the tightness of a drowning man clutching onto the edge of a boat, and the quake that jostled through both their bodies assured him that they had landed on something. But Cassandra’s mobility did not last for long, for within the next moment, they were again airborne for another fleeting instant of terror. It seemed that, as Cassandra’s animal senses had been heightened, she could detect a grove better and far more secretive than she could have ever discovered as a human. And, Eugene had to admit, she did seem more agile and able within this state.

“I think you’re getting too comfortable in that body,” He had said mere hours ago. It seemed as fitting now as it did when he had first said it- after he woke up that morning to Cassandra relaxing in a ball in the corner of his room. But now, after being like this for just ten or so hours, her harmony with the body of the monster seemed complete, almost natural. Yet this time….this time things were different.

The jerk of the next landing sent Eugene’s thoughts and upcoming worried internal monologue flapping away with the rustling leaves Cassandra had disturbed upon her fall. Eugene looked about and saw an archway made of bark, where two branches of different trees had reached together and woven around the other. It was a magnificent sight, for the trees around them were of some mysterious species that he had never seen the like of before. Boughs twisting elegantly about themselves, and their roots jutting up and out of the ground to curl around those near. Their green leaves, shaped as majestic crowns, whistled in the gentle winds. Above, the trees sprang into a canopy, as if shielding its very existence from the outside woodland world.

“How did you find this place?” Asked Eugene, impressed with the girl (could she even be referred as such?), yet rather worried.

No chirp or growl replied. Instead, Cassandra moved onward, totally aware of all her surroundings- but was she aware of her own mind?

Indeed, Cassandra struggled, trying hard to concentrate as she propelled herself forward. She could feel her human consciousness slipping farther away with every step she took. If she could not soon learn how to muzzle the inner animal and be the alpha out of the two of them, she feared she would lose her sanity forever.

But when there came a faint odor upon the air, her mind fogged, and her last effort in fighting back the thoughts of the monster failed.

All at once Cassandra reared, and Eugene was thrown to the ground. Brown tumbled before his eyes, and he tossed back his bangs to watch in horror as Cassandra excitedly sniffed at the air, burnt orange and scarlet flickering through her silver and dark blue scales like fiery embers. Drool began to pour out of her mouth. He could see one of her eyes at his angle, and what reached out from Cassandra’s colored socket frightened him: an insane gaze of hunger, licking at the air it smelled.

He pushed back the fear, gaining his footing on the ground of the hidden forest. Slowly, he approached Cassandra.

“What do you smell?” He tried, hoping that his voice would force his friend’s senses to return to her.

But her reply came in an angry growl, and though every bone, muscle, and nerve within Eugene screamed for him to back away...he moved closer.

“Cassandra...it’s me. Eugene. You’re okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

And for a moment, the true eyes of the monster seemed to flash with Eugene’s answer, but a savage darkness regained the creature quickly, and it sped off under the archway of the trees.

“No, Cassandra! Wait!” Eugene cried, racing after the girl.

There were so many winding paths, closed in by the density of the woods, and Eugene soon found himself becoming lost. It seemed that the wood was a labyrinth, narrowing in some tunnels, others ending abruptly by rows of trees. Yet there were still few pathways for any visitor to stray through; though, as Eugene soon discovered, some of the roads twisted about into areas he thought looked the same as other places he had already passed. This forest...it felt like a place where humans should never roam.

Just as he thought he had lost himself completely within the woodland maze, Eugene heard the trickling of rushing water. He guided himself along by his ears until he spotted, between a patch of trees, a spring which filtered lightly along two small waterways. Along the muddy bank were talon prints far too big for a regular animal. His companion wasn’t completely gone yet.

Eugene did not have time to pat himself on the back for solving his missing dragon problem, however. He needed to find out what had happened to Cassandra- both with her being what she was now and what just happened. He doubted that the confusion of this place had bothered her ability to navigate, for it was in an animal’s nature to be able to sniff their way out of any dangerous circumstance. Yet, what was it that Cassandra had smelled on the air? Eugene could detect no odor other than the scent of the rain sticking to the leaves and bark in the cold morning air. Although, he had nowhere near the amount of olfactory cells she had, so it was no wonder he didn’t catch onto what she noticed.

Eugene no longer had to rely on his muddy path when he heard a shuffling noise coming from further ahead. In an upcoming clearing, the fire orange and caramel brown and ocean blue dragon was hunched over some object. Eugene approached slowly as to not startle her, but when he came to Cassandra, he was the one who was horrified.

Cassandra crouched over long dead travelers, the smell of their clothes and hair and flesh a putrid perfume. Eugene nearly vomited but he composed himself within an instant. What exactly did Cassandra think she was doing? Her jaws ripped at the leather armor and garments covering one ancient man, the rotting flesh exposed to the cooling rain that continued to drench their bodies.

“Do you know what you’re doing? Don’t you dare!” Eugene yelled, running up to her.

Cassandra turned and, lowered on her haunches, growled insanely at his figure. She rattled her stinger on some rocks as a warning not to come any closer. Deep red bubbled through her scales, and Eugene halted mid-step and backed away only a few paces. His friend had truly become deranged, he could see.

“Stop that right now! You’re not like this! This isn’t you!”

Cassandra ignored his presence and dug her maw back into the decayed flesh. She tore at all her teeth could reach, feasting upon the dead victim with a passion that scared Eugene. How would he ever….

“Cassandra, do you understand what you’re doing? You have to stop right now. If you don’t, you’ll just be another monster, just like the thing that made you into this.”

Eugene didn’t mean for his words to come out like shards of glass, but maybe the harshness of his tone would make Cassandra realize what exactly she was scarfing down and bring back her human mind.

It didn’t.

No, instead, Cassandra snarled like a wild dog with rabies. She flexed her claws in the dirt before rising up on her hind legs to her full height, easily towering over Eugene. She spread her wings and flared her ruff, letting dark red billow through her scales. Even in the dull, grey lighting of the rainstorm, her eyes still glinted with the ferocity and hunger of a feral beast.

For a long moment Eugene wondered who he was even looking at anymore. Was that Cassandra? Or was it the creature? Had she lost herself to the beast within? It seemed that way, with her claws primed for blood and her jaws dripping with gore.

And yet? He held out his hand. He held back a flinch as blood dripped to his fingers and palm, held tight to the ridges on her back with the other arm as red smeared up across the scales. He held her face, held his breath, and held tight to all the courage he could muster.

The beast he was clinging onto let out a long, guttural snarl that vibrates Eugene’s rib cage as he’s pressed against the thing’s softer underbelly. Hooked, barbed black claws raise up and hover mere inches away from his back. He feels blood and drool and maybe some foam drip onto his head and run in gooey trails down the back of his neck.

The deadly talons flex, just barely tear the fabric of his shirt, and then fall down limply to the monster’s side.

Cassandra, and Eugene was sure now that it was still Cassandra, stooped down to press her head to his chest. Though mute in this form, he could see the grimace on her mouth and imagine the words she was longing to say.

“I’m sorry”

Eugene gently strokes one of his quivering hands over the top of Cassandra’s head. He murmurs to her softly and it doesn’t matter how softly he speaks because he knows she will always hear him soothing her.

For a long time, man and monster stay tangled in an embrace. Eventually, though, Cassandra pulls away so she can revert forms and be free from this animalistic insanity that shrouds her mind.

The transformation is forced and as painful as the first one that day, but it leaves behind more throbbing and burning in her exhausted muscles. She blinks away black spots and then shook her head, like she was trying to expel the remnants of her feral thoughts. Her horns and webbed frill remain in this form, along with her tail, which is tucked in between her legs like a scared dog’s. Ironically, she’s not trembling in the form with flesh and no clothing. Eugene immediately shut his eyes and put his cowl on her, buttoning and tying it securely, seeing Cassandra was a bit too out of it to do it herself or even be embarrassed over her nudity.

“Are you all right?” Eugene asked. The rain is beginning to lessen its brutality as it lashed against their bodies.

Cassandra did not respond. Instead, her face became rather pale, which was impressive given that she was already ghost white. More concerned than curious, Eugene raised a hand as if to draw her attention up to his eye level. However, in that moment, Cassandra buckled to the opposite side, a line of vomit splattering from her lips. She sank to her knees, clutching her stomach. As she rocked herself, Eugene placed a hand against her forehead.

“I’m not feeling that great,” Cassandra gurgled through cringing lips.

“You’re not kidding.” Eugene said, “Must have been...”

He stopped because Cassandra retched again, so she most likely didn’t want to be reminded of what exactly she had done in her feral state. It didn’t help that she was still wet with blood, gore, and goop from decayed human flesh. She vomits once more.

“I’m just gonna...sit here for a moment.” She panted.

“That’s alright.” Eugene assured her, rubbing her back and quickly pulling her messy hair out of the way. “It’s okay, Cass, it’s okay. Just get it out.”

She was trying. She was trying really hard but it came to a point where her body felt like it didn’t need to throw up anymore and was ready to start feeling normal again. But she wasn’t ready. She became so desperate to purge the human flesh from her stomach that she half-mutated one of her arms and shoved monstrous fingers down her throat just to make herself vomit again.

“Cassandra!”

Eugene grabbed both of her wrists, feeling one of them shift back to normal beneath his fingers. Cassandra is crying, struggling to breathe over an oncoming panic attack that’s taking over her mind, just like the inner monster had.

“It’s okay, Cass. It’s okay. It’s over now. Nobody is going to hurt you, I promise.”

Cassandra whimpered and shook her head as tears spilled over.

“Other people aren’t going to be the ones doing the hurting.”

Eugene stared at her in disbelief as she sobbed below him.

“It’s like I was hallucinating,” Cassandra started softly, “I couldn’t control myself anymore. I smelled meat and thought I saw something, so I went after it. Eugene, I was hunting them.”

Cassandra put her head in her hands and shook it miserably. Her frill droops and fades into a mix between deep blue and pale green- sadness and fear, if Eugene had to guess.

“Oh god, Eugene, I’m a monster. I’m no different than the other creatures!”

“Don’t say that.” Eugene said firmly, “You are not them.”

“I chased the people I saw,” Cassandra whispers hoarsely, “I chased them to the ends of this place and they ran from me. They were scared of me.”

“You won’t be like that.” Eugene assured her. “It’s alright. I promise.”

“No,” Cassandra croaked, shaking her head softly. “No, no it’s…s’not alright, is it? For you to be-”

“Cassandra, honey,” Eugene interrupted softly with a sigh.

Suddenly, there’s hands cupping either sides of her cheeks and she flinches, then waits for her neck to be snapped. It’s the fate she deserved. But, instead, her chin is lifted and she makes eye contact with Eugene kneeling in front of her.

“Whatever you’re going to say, save it.” He said. “There’s no use, because you’re not going to get rid of me.”

“But-“

“But nothing.” Eugene stopped her. “If you think you being infected with some dragon gene that turns you into a creature is going to be the defining factor that ends the dynamic we have going on, then you must be crazy AND too weak to hold a basket of clothes.”

That prompts the smallest laugh out of Cassandra. She sniffled and leaned forward, collapsing into Eugene’s arms. He practically pulled her into his lap, but she couldn’t really care. She was dying to be held after all that’s happened, and Eugene seemed happy to comply with that need.

“Plus,” Eugene went on. His fingers stroked delicately through Cassandra’s tangled hair. “Okay, actually, first- we seriously need to get your a proper hairbrush. What is with this bedhead style?”

“Shut up,” Cassandra growled. She quickly shut her mouth when she felt her monster rumble within her and she buried her face against Eugene’s chest, trembling again. The arms around her hold her even closer, more securely.

“Anyway,” Eugene continued. “It’d be a huge bummer if I couldn’t tell people my little sister was a dragon...hybrid...thing.”

“Your...sister?” Cassandra echoed. She peeked up at Eugene, but whipped her head right back down when she saw that stupid smirk on his face.

“What should I call you? You’re clearly more than a friend.” Eugene mused. “Just not in that way. No offense, but I would NEVER date you.” He paused. “What about platonic significant annoyance?”

Cassandra snorted against his chest. She could scales bristling back up along her shoulders, but she couldn’t bring herself to care at that moment.

“No, I- I like sister.” She said shyly.

“Sister it is, then...sis.”

“Don’t wear it out.”

Eugene shifts her in his arms, but doesn’t let go. She feels him press a kiss to the top of her head and her ears flame red.

“We’ll get through this, Cass. I promise.”

“I’m just- I’m so glad you’re okay,” Cassandra whispered. “I don’t know what I’d do if I-“

“It’s not going to happen,” Eugene answered definitely. “I’m okay and you’re going to be okay too, Cass. You’ll see.”

If it were anyone else speaking these words to her, Cassandra would have never believed them. But Eugene, with all his frustrating flaws, was different. And maybe, just maybe, one day Cassandra would be able to see herself the same way he saw her.

[mousehole5000]

okay im rewriting tgcf (only in my head im lazy) here are my notes on hua/lian specifically this is long bc fuck it. major spoilers obviously and same trigger warnings as the content of the book

disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer that i dont know anything about the cultural background of anything in tgcf or story tropes etc etc this is just I Think It Would Be Neat If..

there’s not really any reason to keep hc as a kid in the backstory BUT in the story in the intro (which i like narratively) it still says that it was a child who xie lian caught. it’s one of those things that got added to the legend to make xie lian seem even more noble, there are also probably a few other inaccuracies in the intro that get found out as the story progresses. in actuality hc was kind of a known troublemaker to the city guards or whatever or had been in the past. maybe his mother just passed after a long illness and his tumble off the wall was intentional. either way he’s kind of pissed at xie lian for saving him. xie lian is concerned about his health so he has to stay at the palace for a while he recovers and only interacts with xie lian a few times. there is a point where he says out loud all the things about the divide between the rich and the poor that have been illustrated by the scenes with mu qing. feng xin tells him to shut up but mq goes dead silent bc he kind of agrees but can’t say and does have his loyalty to xie lian (its a whole thing) and the resentment begins

also i think young hc’s personality is similar to his personality in the present but a bit more reserved and he’s got like this plucky streak or something. also he is unquestionably gay

anyway hc sneaks out of the palace and xie lian catches him obviously but they have a brief little heart to heart where xie lian is like “look you can go if you want here take this money food” etc and demonstrates that he has actually listened to what hc has to say and hc is like “wow no one other than my mom has ever listened to me in my life so thats what that feels like i kind of like it” and he probably is a bit awestruck by xie lian in different ways and after that is like “okay this kingdom sucks but.. that guys not so bad”

sad ironic sense that if xie lian hadnt ascended until he was older he may have actually be able to do something about the problems in the kindgom but alas we have a cycle to perpetuate

the “take me as the meaning of your life” scene still happens p much the same but xl doesnt recognize hc who is actually now at his lowest point. hc tried to find ways to make things better for people like him but he simply did not succeed (maybe his were efforts quashed by the corrupt authorities? its implied probably) and he’s more disillusioned with the kingdom and life than ever but still is holding on to those memories of xie lian as proof that it doesnt have to be like this but that thread is slipping until!! whose fucking voice is that??? thats right its the one person you ever believed was truly good and went and proved you right by ascending to the heavens at age 17!!! guess its time to stan him forever

anyway hc joins the army but legally or whatever and tbh i would have hated the flower cave scene regardless of anything i just hate any sort of s*x pollen trope or anything so thats gone (they can have a wound tending scene or something tho thats the good shit) and instead we have HL getting overwhelmed by some other demons or something together and xie lian protects hc and they both get injured very badly (maybe hc would lose a limb but im not sure how that would work once hes a ghost so thats on hold for now until i figure it out) and xl is fine but this situation ends up being part of why mq kicks hc out of the army but yes hc still ends up dying on the battlefield anyway </3

the wuming stuff is the same i think but also at some point xl is despairing and says something about that guy he saved from falling and wonders what happened to him and fire ghost wuming is like !!!!! (wait does this happen in canon? honestly it should)

in mount tong’lu i was tempted to actually have hc have a similar moment to the bamboo hat scene with the humans who are trapped in there but im not sure if i just want it to be the same as xie lian’s story... also i like the idea of hc needing to hang onto his devotion to get through his first few centuries of being a ghost so maybe he’s just inspired by xie lian’s sacrifice with the sword and the souls and thats why he claws his own eye out as a sacrifice

so this can go one of two ways from here!!! both are me projecting hardcore so take them with a grain of salt im not saying im right about the way relationships should be these a re just my thoughts <3

1. (the not fun one but it still has a happy ending) the story more or less continues the same as canon. pure and simple devotion is what carries hc through the centuries. we get to see some ghost city antics and its fun but there is nothing complicated about the devotion hc just wants to find xl and protect him. hualian eventually meet. they get along pretty well!! eventually there are cracks. when you hold someone in your mind for so long you have expectations for them that no person can meet consistently. hc thinks that since he’s seen xl during the worst time in his life that he can handle anything but it turns out that as amazing as xl is, he is also just a person and sometimes he is wrong or irrational or annoying. xl is so happy to have someone who will listen to him talk that he kind of neglects to really get to know who hc is as a person and hc is kind of like “huh i didnt expect this but im kind of hurt. i genuinely thought that i just wanted to serve and protect you but actually im my own person and this is weird” but he doesnt say anything he thinks he has to stick to his promise and it gets kind of uncomfortable!! maybe his luck goes haywire bc his faith gets rocked for the first time ever and they end up having to talk it out but their relationship is stronger for it <3

2. (i think this one is fun) hc struggles with waiting. he does it but its hard. he has doubts and when all his efforts to find xl are fruitless he starts to grow bitter and curses the day that xl saved him. his faith burns low but doesnt go out. then ghost city!! hc realizes that he can finally help people like him, even if theyre ghosts now and hes grateful for the chance to do this and grateful to xl and resigns himself to waiting. but its still hard!! he realizes that his luck is tied to his devotion and gets kind of pissed about it!!! he tries to remember all the good things about xl but its hard!!! his search becomes more about repaying a debt so he can be free than anything else, he just wants to help the common people spirits with no strings attached (this actually allows him to keep his luck bc he has the same wish as xl and thats what makes him a true believer!! is this corny? does it make sense? i dont care) and so eventually when he finds xl he’s like okay how quickly can i repay this debt/how can i keep my powers but then xie lian is... so good... and hc actually really likes him he remembers why he swore his devotion in the first place. now hes conflicted!!! dont worry they fall in love tho <3

wow this was really long if you read this hiiiii. anyway when i reread ill try to pay more attention to yin yu and he xuan for hc’s 800 years. hua cheng we’re gonna get you some friends and lore i swear to god

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #294

“maybe it’s not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate”

Is your bed big enough for two people? Yes. What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think one stay at the psych hospital stretched over two weeks, maybe three. I don't remember. When was the last time you heard someone scream? Irl, probably at some point visiting my sister's family and my baby niece was upset. If you include via audio, a couple days ago when watching Egoraptor's Kingdom Hearts 2 stream. He's a Loud Boy. Who was the last person to call you baby? I have no clue. Why did you last go to the airport? I was going home from Sara's. Have you ever showered with another person? Not since I was a little kid with my sister. Is there something you are keeping a secret from your parents? I mean, nothing major. There are small things I don't tell them, though. Are you able to forget people easily? FUCK to the NO. What disgusts you about bathrooms? Sharing a toilet with literally anybody. Have you ever had gum stuck in your hair? I mean maybe at some point, but I don't think so. What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? If you’ve never been in a relationship before, do you watch Scrubs? I knew Jason maybe two/three weeks before he asked me out. We clicked so damn fast. Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? It can become a bit much. I have (had?) a friend who did this profusely to the point it was pretty impossible to have an actual conversation, and then she fell off the face of the planet. Being in love is an absolutely amazing thing, but like... that's not all you can talk about. Do you enjoy old movies? Yeah, there are some great ones. Do your neighbors annoy you in any way? Someone a few houses down has a dog that NEVER shuts the fuck up. I don't know how it doesn't lose its voice. What was the last party you were invited to? A Halloween party hosted by my friend Summer a few years ago. It was a good time. Are you honestly happy with your life right now? N O P E Do you find it fun to pray for people? I don't pray, but even if I did, "fun" seems like the wrong word. Generally when you pray for someone, there's something negative going on in their life, so like... I think "fulfilling" is maybe a better word? Has your mom ever crocheted you a blanket? My mom has deadass been working on a massive blanket since she was in her 20s (maybe even a tad younger), and she's at the tail end of her 50s. She works on it less than once in a blue moon. She started with the intention of passing it onto her kids. Do you regret letting a certain guy slip away? Debatable. It's questionable if I ever would have gotten competent help without Jason leaving, and if I didn't, what if he finally had enough when we were already married with kids (that's what I wanted at the time, anyway)? That would have broken me even worse. What show did you want to be on as a kid? Whatever the Nickelodeon one was where you got slimed lol. Do you have regrets? Of course I do. Does anyone really know you? My mom and Sara, at least. What song do you want played at your wedding? It depends on my partner and songs we consider special. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? No. I do, however, love me some "Love Story." And you are LYYYYYYINNNNNGGGG if "Picture To Burn" doesn't make you feel like a Bad Bitch. Would you ever dye your hair unicorn colors? I would DIIIIIEEEEE to do that in pastel tints. I wish my damn hair took color well... I have literally only had ONE very effective hair dyeing experience, when my friend spent hours turning it red. It stuck for MONTHS. List 3 of your pet peeves. 1.) Turning tragedy into a competition; 2.) making mental illnesses "trendy;" and 3.) elitists of pretty much anything. Do you type fast? Very. What do you like to put on your pancakes? Typically just maple syrup, but I'll put butter on them if given it at a restaurant. Have you ever accidentally drank spoiled milk? I've taken a sip and immediately realized and spat it out. Have you ever had your heart broken? More like shattered into incalcuable pieces. When you were 3, was your natural hair color the same as it is now? No, I was dirty blonde. Have you ever received a scary message from someone online? Yes, I'm pretty sure. What does your first name rhyme with? "Infamy" is close enough, ig, if we're excluding other names. Do you have freckles on your face? No. I did as a kid, though. Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? Probably the angel kitty (I had a coloring book, even), but they're all SO pretty. I love Lisa Frank stuff. Does your family always have your back? My mom and dad do, at least. My older sister does, meanwhile it's hard to tell with my little sister. She's not very affectionate and expressive of love to the point I question a lot if she even likes me. What type of wedding do you want to have? Gothic! Are you more of a leader or a follower? A follower, within reason. I'm definitely not a blind one. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Quite a few, actually. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, at some point. Do you have a regular vacation spot, or do you always go somewhere new? We don't really go on vacations. It's not an expense Mom can really afford. Where were you working 10 years ago? Nowhere. ... 5 years ago? Still nowhere. ... 1 year ago? Nowhere. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like a day. I know it sounds bad, but I left Girt already knowing I loved Sara, and I didn't really have anything to heal from. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? We'd have Saltines, chicken noodle soup (which I never really liked), and ginger ale. What's your favorite art style? Probably hyperrealistic fantasy stuff. What time period is considered to be your country's 'golden age?' I don't know, I'm not a history buff. Have you ever done LSD? I've never done any drugs. Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? N/A What is your favorite parody movie? Maybe the Paranormal Activity one. I barely remember it, though. What kind of first impression do you hope others have of you? That I'm kind and friendly and really care about their feelings. Do you have a good sense of balance? NOOOOOOOOOO. I stray like a motherfucker when I walk. Have for many years. It's weird. What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry, ugh. Does your car have heated seats? No. What's something that has been in your local news lately? I don't watch it. What's your favorite internet meme? Oh, I have no clue, I love memes lmao. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing, really. I'm not very adventurous with pizza. Can you name any books or movies where all the main characters die? Not off the top of my head. Do you live alone? No, I live with my mother. What’s the grossest thing you’ve encountered in/at a fast food joint? *shrug* Do you swallow chewing gum? No. Do you ever get goosebumps while listening to songs? EXTREMELY easily. Like that is so, so regular, be it from the lyrics, the singer's voice, or just the music. Are there any amusement park rides you refuse to go on? Why? Most, really. I get dizzy way, way too easily and don't want to faint. What is the best roller coaster you’ve ever been on? I'm afraid of roller coasters, so I can't answer this. Never touched one. Don’t you think black jellybeans are icky? Ugh, YES. What was the last thing you measured with a ruler? I helped Mom use the long, flexible kind to measure the couch because she was gonna move some furniture around. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen? Oh, I'm sure the mountains when driving to Tennessee. I was too young to remember it well, but I can never forget that I marveled over them. Would you rather have a Playstation or Xbox made console? I'm a Playstation gal. What if you were watching COPS and saw your significant other on there? I'm... not gonna lie, if it was Jason for doing something stupid and not, like, murderous, I'd probably cackle. Have you ever tried to write to any celebrities? No. When was the last time you blew bubbles? I ain't got a clue. Have you ever stumbled across a beehive? More like wasp nests. What food(s) make you cringe? Quite a lot, given my extreme selectiveness with textures. More than anything, probably egg yolk. Have you ever played an automated 20 Questions game and beat it? Ha, I actually had one of those! I have, but damn was that hard. Have you been to a restaurant where they cook the food in front of you? Yup, Ichiban. Pretty cool. Do you feel that presidential campaigns make people too competitive? I mean, no. People care about who is going to be the head of their country. Do you find Family Guy hilarious or offensive? Neither. Do you still write letters to people, even though there’s e-mail now? No. Have you ever had an accident involving a microwave? Ha, I'm a travesty of a cook, so yeah. I remember on one occasion I accidentally dialed in many minutes for popcorn and entirely forgot about it. Safe to say I didn't eat it. I've split hot dogs in there, and I'm certain there's more. Do you like the movie Forrest Gump? I adore that movie. One of the best films ever imo. Can you handle heat well? I honestly doubt you'll meet someone who handles it worse than me, especially physically. I have severe hyperhidrosis, so I will literally sweat like a pig in 70* weather. I absolutely cannot handle it. Do you smoke weed? What are your opinions on its legalization? No. Legalize it for at least medicinal purposes. Have you ever had a school shooting at your school? HA, I can promise you my high school must have at some point. Are you usually the first to do something, or are you more of a follower? I don't pay attention to this. What is your favorite way to eat a potato? Fries, yum. Are roses your favorite flower? No, but they're high on the list. Have you ever been to a horse race? No. I think they're abusive anyway. Do you like lobster? No. Have you ever swam in a lake? Yeah. There's one lake I swam in that was so clear you could see pretty far and just watch the fish and turtles. Have you ever convinced someone to show you their private parts? "Convinced"????? That's fucking coercion. I've seen people naked, but not by fucking pressure. What is the greatest treasure you have ever found? My older sister found a cracked amethyst geode once. Idk where it's at now, but I hope she (or we at the house, depending on where it is) finds it at some point, though. My niece has come to love smooth rocks and pebbles, and I think crystals would blow her away, never mind one that size. Do you eat beef? Regrettably. Are you good at card games? I mean, what's the game? I'm not exceptional at any I can think of. What is your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. Did you ever play the Oregon Trail game? Omg yes!!! I LOVED playing it as a kid, especially the 3rd one, I think? Do you watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia? No. Who is your favorite country singer? I actually do enjoy Tim McGraw pretty consistently, but I don't actually seek out his music. Do you know anyone who is Mormon? An old best friend was. Do you like grunge? Yeah. What’s your favorite kind of cheese? American. What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Most likely Covid. What’s your funniest story involving a car? It's not hilarious, but once we were behind someone whose license plate said "omw" lmao. What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? Well, a proven Covid vaccine. Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? Nope. What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Idk. What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? I'm not sure. What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? Having to explain my Mark tribute tattoo lmao. What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, and while it was great, "interesting" seems like the wrong word. Where are you not welcome anymore? Probably Jason's house, at least not by him. Or Colleen's, probably. Idk how she feels about me by now. What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Paying bills. What’s the smartest thing you’ve seen an animal do? I kid you not, our first cat would look both ways twice before crossing the street across our house. (Please do not allow your cats outside.) She'd do it even more when bringing her kittens there too to hunt. Chance was truly incredible. I could really give a lot of examples of her intelligence. I also had another childhood cat (my favorite before Roman) who would respond to a certain clap pattern I'd do if Mom let me bring him inside. Wherever Charcoal was wandering, he'd come running. What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh, I'm sure it was RP-related stuff as a kid. What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? I'unno. What’s the saddest scene in a movie or TV series? Possible spoiler warning for a super old movie??? Probably when the main character of Old Yeller had to put the dog down because of rabies. But I cry like a bitch easily, so maybe there's something that tears me up even more or just as badly. What odd smell do you really enjoy? None that are "odd," really. What’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? I've seen a mink once when fishing with Dad deep in the woods. What’s the best lesson you’ve learned from a work of fiction? Oh, I don't know. I'd have to think for a while & I don't feel like it. What food do you crave most often? Probably ice cream. Who in your life has the best/worst luck? I don't know about best, but my mom absolutely has the worst luck. Which apocalyptic dystopia do you think is most likely? A meteor, maybe? If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I'd want to know if they were criminals or just dangerous. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen a kid do? Oh, my niece is so funny. One of the things that gave me the biggest laugh (and was most adorable) was this time I was taking family pictures for Ash at a local lake, and Aubree went running into the gazebo, span around totally like in a princess movie, and exclaimed, "It's enormous!" She is such a darling. If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? Just how bored I am, memories of Jason bc trauma, lamenting my disappointment in myself, "why is Mark so perfect," worrying about Sara, thinking of RP character developments... What celebrity would you like to meet? Mark. 100%. I would die to just thank him (if I could get words out, oof) and hug him and try not to soak his shirt in tears lmao. Do you need money to be happy? Don't bullshit me, you wouldn't be happy homeless because you can't afford a home. So to a degree, yes. What's a good idea you've had recently? Hm. What gift would you like to receive? At this current moment, Cloak's (Mark and Jacksepticeye's clothing brand) limited edition "life after death" design for a shirt. It is so fucking pretty, and I love the nature focus. What are you most excited about right now? Honestly? Getting my laptop back. I wanna play WoW lmao. What's your favorite song from a movie? Maybe uhhhhhh was "Supermassive Black Hole" actually written for Twilight? Where would you like to volunteer? I very, very badly want to volunteer to take pictures of animals up for adoption in shelters for like their social medias and stuff. I've asked like the two local places, but no bites yet. What's the last song you listened to? Metallica's cover of "Turn The Page." What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching Gab Smolders play SOMA. Fantastic game.

[50shadesofmittens]

So this is the previous Rapunzel-inspired thing, but edited. I decided not to put it on ao3, so you lot get it here. Enjoy.

//////////////////////////////////////

At the base of the silver Tower, on the back of a rented camel, one lone Custodian disguised as a mutant Tzeentch worshipper (read: wearing a paper-mache mask over his helmet and a T-shirt over his armor that proclaims “I <3 Change”) sat planning the next step of his daring assault.

Then a red lasso grabs him and yanks him up to the highest floor, in through a hole in the liquid-solid walls that closes as soon as the Custodian is deposited on the floors.

“Are you absolutely, completely, burn-your-soul-out, bugger-all to fuck-world and back insane?”

“Nice to see you too, Magnus.” The Custodian groaned as he got up from the floor.

“Do you realize what will happen if even a single daemon finds you here? I’ve found you here! Tzeentch has to know by now, and if you’re still here that means this is all one of his ‘plans.’ Probably to end with your humiliating death or corruption!”

“Was that a hair-lasso you grabbed me with?”

“Don’t change the subject! And yes, shapeshifting is the easiest spell for me to cast if I don’t want to be seen.” Magnus replied, his hair rapidly shortening back to its usual length. “Not that it works completely- there are some forces which can, if they/she/it/whatever the squid is right now choose so, can see everything I see. And since I’m on probation/house arrest, again, I’m being watched fairly closely right now.

“Which would be obvious to anyone or moderate intelligence who thought things through for more than thirty seconds, and I know you’re well beyond moderate intelligence, so we’re back to the ‘insane’ theory. Gods only know what disasters might’ve already been put in motion just from you coming here- and Gods knowing is exactly the problem.”

The Custodian sighed. “Rest assured, I do have a plan. A very… flexible one, yes, but I didn’t just come in, guns blazing. And if needs be I can throw it out the window and work with what I have to improvise. You know I can.”

Magnus shook his head. “That’s exactly what I’m worried about. This place, and everyone on it, belongs to the lord of plans- whatever you have in mind, he’s already well aware of. So if we’re going to get you off planet alive-”

“We’re not leaving the planet.” Magnus startled as the Custodian continued, “We’re staying here, and taking this planet out of the Warp.”

“And I’m now reverting to my original theory: you have gone completely mental.” Magnus barked out a laugh. “I should’ve known when you thought it was a good idea to come out here, alone, with just yourself and- was that a camel?”

“Right behind you.” Sure enough, the camel had followed its rider up the tower. This rider gave her many head-pats and good oat snacks. She liked head-pats.

“The fuck- how did that thing even get in here? Without exploding?”

“According to the sales pitch, she’s a specially commissioned used camel with warp-terrain capabilities and double-Primarch capacity.” The Custodian shrugged. “If that makes any sense to you then you understand her better than I do. I have no clue what she’s capable of.”

Magnus shook his head. “Never mind. The point is, you have to go, before whatever scheme you have in mind gets too complicated for me to pull you out.”

“And what if sending me away is the scheme? Hm?” The Custodian shrugged. “It’s not like you can prepare for every plan Tz- that one has. Weren’t you the one who decided that it was better to just work with what we had, than to think too hard about how to win?”

“That was a very different scenario. Besides which, I’m not trying to win- I’m just trying to get by. For now,” Magnus added hastily, “once I’m in a better position I can-”

“Stop. Just- before you tell me what your long-term goals, are tell me this: how do you plan to get into this ‘better position’ in the first place?”

“I’ll work with what I have, exactly what you yourself just said you planned to do!”

“So, what, Tzeentch mentions he wants this subsector conquered, you work on it, get further into his good graces, and just keep going until he’ll let you be free?” The Custodian shook his head. “We both know it’s not going to work like that.”

“I don’t expect my privileges to go that far. I just need enough leeway to make things… better.”

“You’re mixing your goals up. You’re planning too far ahead where you should be thinking about the now, and you make your immediate plans where you should be thinking about the long-term.”

“At least I’m doing something.” Magnus snapped. “Isn’t that enough? I used to just wait, wait, wait, planning every step and making every choice based on a thousand pre-existing factors, until I got too lost in my own head. You helped me break out of that- and I’m grateful, really, I am. I’m so, so glad I met you.

“But please,” and Magnus took the Custodian’s gauntlets into his own hands, “don’t destroy yourself trying to save me. You already have- in more ways than you’ll ever know. If I’m to live with the memories of you as my guide, don’t make one of those memories be your death. That’s not how I want to repay you.

“Go home, [R E D A C T E D]. The other Custodes need their Captain General, and the Imperium needs its leader. Don’t throw all that you’ve accomplished away. I’m not worth it.”

“I’d debate you on several of those points,” the Captain General said, “but for now, I’ll settle on this question: are your sons worth it? Are your people?”

“Don’t.” Magnus pulled away, and he turned away. “Don’t ask that. You don’t tell me to choose- between the one thing that’s led me to be someone I’m proud to be and the duty that I’ve only just really started to love again.”

“You love them?”

Magnus hesitated, but he nodded. “Ever since I got back, I keep seeing all the amazing things I knew before but kept missing or mistaking for something worse. ‘We humans have a peculiar ability to turn the worst, stupidest dystopian situation into stuff we can laugh grimly at, I appreciate that.’”

“Quote from the-nothing-maker, early second millennium assorted internet. Volume, Tumblr.” The Captain General said, “I read you that one.”

“You use my words against me, I use your quotes against you.” Magnus said, though there was no bite in his words. “You know, in the few times I haven’t been alone here, everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy. That you were tricking me into neglecting my kingdom so it’d fall into disarray, or were going to tell me to burn it all down so we could start over later.” Magnus sniffed. “It’s all rubbish. There might’ve been some downturns while I was gone, but the working infrastructure hasn’t exactly collapsed without me. Which is more than most daemon planets could say. Besides which, it’s not like I’ve been doing much governing since I got back.

“And when I see you again the first offer you make is to save the planet- though if you were a daemon or another Tz-“ The Captain General made a loud noise of protest to keep Magnus from saying the whole name, “-follower, I could believe that it’s some plan to destroy the planet, but… that’s not you. That’s the farthest thing from you. That’s why I- I can’t sit by while you’re destroyed.”

“That’s not-”

“No just-” Magnus swallowed hard and looked the Captain General in the eye. “Just listen to me. Please. Let me finish.

“It- it’s crazy but… if I died there would be another war, big fucking whoop it must be Tuesday, but… if you died, I think the galaxy would become a little colder. Because every time I look at you and try to decipher what sort of man you are, I find something wonderful there. Every time. And you can be petty, hypocritical, and cowardly, but even when you are those things that… kindness, that spark that makes you shine is still there. It doesn’t shine consistently, but it never vanishes completely. And… there’s nothing else I’ve seen or heard of in this galaxy that can match that. Not the Gods, not my Father, and certainly not me.”

“Magnus…” Against the speaker’s intentions, the word came out as a whisper.

“I know you still think, somewhere deep down, that you’re not worth it, or that you could be replaced. But I’m telling you, you can’t.”

“Magnus.” The Captain General said, louder now, but something scratchy in his voice as though he was holding back tears. “I didn’t come here to die. I know you think- that the place you’re in and the person you are makes it impossible to get out but- you keep forgetting one key thing, in the way it most counts. Who you are.

“You’re the person who saved hundreds of thousands of entire civilizations worth of culture and history- through negotiation and diplomacy, and just giving them respect. If it wasn’t you, someone else would’ve done it, and they wouldn’t have been anywhere near as kind. We both know by now that the kindest thing would’ve been to have left the galaxy alone, but that wasn’t gonna happen, so you made it happen your way. No matter what anyone else said, or did, or how they mocked you for it- you did what you thought was right. Just like in the Heresy, your sons were kept from the war because you fought back against the poison in your soul, and kept them as far from the madness as you could.

“You’ve done a lot of evil, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you otherwise and I’m never going to lie to you about that, but you’ve got a lot of drive to do good- and you’ve done a lot of good, over and over, from the moment you got the chance. What you did for me, during [REDACTED INCIDENT]

“[REDACTED INCIDENT]

“[REDACTED INC-] But you showed me that you want to go farther- and you are going farther, from the twisted paths that came before. You managed to hold out longer than any of your brothers (exceptmaybeMortarionI’mnotclearonthetimeline) when it came to corruption.”

“You...” Magnus said, with a small smile, “are the only person in the galaxy who truly believes that intentions have any value.”

“Maybe that’s because the galaxy doesn’t value people’s hearts enough. That life is so disposable nobody bothers trying to help the hurting. I think that’s bullshit. And Magnus, you stood up with me against the indecisive squid once before, and with your help I won. Now, I’m asking you to stand with me once again.

“Please.” The Captain General held out his hand, “trust me?”

And Magnus closed his eye, sighed deeply, shook his head, opened his eye, then reached out and took his hand. “Okay.” He said, voice breaking, “Okay. What must I do?”

[tangyyyy]

You Like That About Me

Little fun and smutty Elu one shot that I had a looot of fun to write!

Hope some of you could enjoy it.

You can find it on AO3 or... Well... here, on tumblr, obviously...

WARNING : Explicit sex (nothing very nasty or kinky or “gross” but it’s sex between two boys who are in love sooo... Yeah. I warned you ;))

You Like That About Me

"Oh! You're here! I'm so happy to see you here my love!"

In the middle of avenue Parmentier, in front of the video club where Eliott worked, Lucas threw himself wholeheartedly into his arms and crushed his lips against his. Surprised to see the young man so amazed to see him, Eliott smiled. They had however agreed to meet there a few minutes before by text.

"Yeah... I'm happy too..." Eliott tried to free himself from his embrace but his lover refused to let him go, tightening his arms around his thin waist. He stuck his nose in the crook of his neck and took a deep breath. "You smell good... You... The sunshine of my tropics, the solace of my sight, the blood of my vein, the never of my always, my love, my love..." Eliott giggled, his eyes almost completely disappearing under the features of his laughing face. "My, my... It's a Carla Bruni's song isn't it?" He replied, placing his hands on his hips in a gesture as tender as practical in order to hold back as much as possible, the loving impulses of the young man. "Oooh... Interesting! Then you know that cheesy love song! Mister "I-only-listen-hard-and-weird-dubstep"..." Lucas replied, tickling with the tip of his tongue a small vein on Eliott's neck that he knew was ticklish. "Yeah well... My mom had bought that record few years ago, she loved it, anyway..." Eliott forced Lucas to pull back slightly and lokked into his eyes. "Lu, are you drunk? -Oh fuck, yeah, I'm wasted!" Exclaimed Lucas, making great arms gestures without any specific meaning. "It's..." Eliott took his cell phone out of his jeans pocket and looked at it. "6.13 pm Lucas. -So what? -Isn't it a little bit too early to be completly wasted? -We were at the share flat with the guys. Arthur is sooo down with Alexia, his dad and all this shit you know, we wanted to cheer him up. -Cheering him up by drinking your souls, clever! -Oh, sorry Daddy, I've been naughty..." Lucas teased in a smile full of innuendos and a knowing look. Eliott rolled his eyes. If sometimes this euphoria and this couldn't-care-less attitude could be annoying, this behavior was, for the vast majority of the time, very funny and rather distracting. Drunk Lucas was always very funny.

Eliott shrugged. "I hope he's gonna feel better soon." He said. "Who?" Asked Lucas, absently, busy peeling a bandage off one of the fingers of his right hand. "Your mom..." The young man raised a wary eyebrow at his boyfriend. "Arthur, duh! -Oh yeah... Yeah he'll feel better soon for sure. Anyway... Can we come back home already? I'm staaaaarving! -Okay, let's go." Eliott replied, placing an arm on Lucas' shoulders as usual. The latter, grabbed his waist with both arms, making their progress much more complicated than usual. Eliott, more amused than anything else, didn't complain. "What do you want to eat?" Asked Eliott geniously as the couple walked up Darboy Street. Suddenly, Lucas slowed down. Eliott looked down at him, he seemed scared. "Oh please, please..." Began to whine Lucas. "Don't take advantage of my altered state of consciousness to make me eat your cooking..." Eliott laughed heartily and resumed a normal walking pace, taking Lucas with him. "No, I was thinking more about ordering something." -Oh thanks God, you're not an abusive bastard! -I still think you're way too harsh towards my cooking skills though... -Yeah, yeah... Tell that to my traumatised stomach! -Anyway. So? -What?" Eliott, with a smile, rolled his eyes again. "What do you want to eat Lucas? -Oh right! Hmmm... Let me think... Some Falafels!"

It had been a long time since the couple had stopped in the tiny Lebanese restaurant located near their home, the idea seduced Eliott. "Mmh, good idea." Replied the young man. "No, wait! -What? -Not falafels, I want a pizza." Eliott smiled. "Ok, pizza it is. -I've eaten one yesterday though... -So... Not pizza? -No. Oh I know! I want chinese! I could kill for a good chinese noodle soup. My kingdom for a prawn spring roll!" Amused, Eliott looked at Lucas out of the corner of his eye and giggled at his great excitement at ingesting anything edible. "Right, chinese! It's been a while since we haven't..."

Lucas stopped suddenly, interrupting Eliott in his answer. The latter breathed and stared at him. "What? -I know, I really know what I want. Eliott... " The young man took his hands between his and looked at him with a serious look. "I found the Holly Dish." He declared in a solemn voice. Forcing himself not to laugh, Eliott raised his eyebrows. "The Holly... What? -Pastas. With a lot of butter and a tone of grated cheese." All that for this? Eliott smiled again. He took a step back, bulged his chest and made a face as serious as Lucas's one. "Is that really what you want? Lucas Lallemant, speak now, or forever hold your peace. Do you want to eat pastas with a lot of butter and a tone of grated cheese?" He asked, overplaying the pompously official speech. "Yes. Yes I do." His blood singularly lacking some alcohol to keep this ridiculous roleplay for a long time, Eliott laughed. "Great, I can cook it then. I think we have everything we need in the fridge already. -God! Why?!!! Why me?!! Is it because I'm black?! Is it because I'm fat?!" Cried Lucas, raising his arms to the sky. "It's because I'm a filthy sodomite isn't it?!" He added. Catching sight of the outraged look of a lady passing by them with two young children, Eliott blushed and approached Lucas quickly in order to make him quiet. "Hush! Lu! -I can't eat Eliott's food... I really can't, I won't survive. O Lord give me some Mercy... " The young man continued, mimicking to totter on his two legs, a sly little smile on the corner of his lips. "Oh come on! Stop it already you moron, I can cook some pastas!" Replied Eliott. He put a firm hand against the top of his back, between his two shoulder blades. "Mom was right... Apocalypse is upon us..." Lucas mumbled, lowering his head, presumably to hide his hilarious face from Eliott. "Shut up and walk!" He intimated the latter by pushing him on the back to walk again.

A few minutes later, the couple were approaching their apartment when Eliott turned into a small street to their right without warning. Lucas, surprised, stopped dead. "Where the fuck are you going Demaury? Home is straight ahead. -I need to stop off at the drugstore. No more meds. Then I'd like to find some painkiller balm for my neck. -Oh ok. -You can wait for me here, I won't be long. -You're going nowhere without me Mister Boombastic." Eliott laughed. "Come on then." He said to him in a gesture inviting him to join him. "Hi." Eliott said politely as he entered the drugstore toawards the woman behind the counter. The latter returned her greeting with a discreet nod and a kind smile. "Hello Miss!" Exclaimed Lucas, who came in right after Eliott. "He... Hello." Replied the woman, unaccustomed to such a loud volume in her establishment. Eliott, Lucas on his heels, walked throught few aisles to finally find the kind of items he was looking for. "Let's see... Which one is the best..." Knowing Eliott and his propensity to hesitate for hours and hours on the smallest purchase, Lucas began to wander his eyes all around him. He had to find any entertainment quickly or he would die of boredom soon. On his left, at the end of the aisle, his gaze fell on a few items that caught his attention. Leaving Eliott to his hesitation, Lucas walked behind him and headed towards the said items. "Bubblegum!" Intrigued, Eliott turned his head towards Lucas who had just exclaimed "Bubblegum!" in an excited and very loud voice. The young man held in his hand a small pink box of condoms, leaning over the writing on the back of the box, Lucas seemed absorbed by reading the precautions for using condoms. Eliott's eyes widened. Embarrassed, he saw, very close to Lucas, a very young boy who was already there when they came in. Trying to hide himself in the babies items aisle, the teenager, with a red complexion, seemed to revolve around condoms without really daring to take too much interest in them. Lucas' arrival must have interrupted him in his discreet approach. He looked at him with his round eyes, visibly impressed by the casualness that Lucas displayed in the middle of such a section. "Eli, can you believe it?! Bubblegum flavoured condoms! I already knew the boring ones, banana, strawberry but I didn't know that bubblegum flavoured condoms were a thing!" The young man spoke loudly, too loudly and seemed excited like a child in a toy store on Christmas Eve. Feeling shame gripping his stomach, Eliott felt the scandalised look of an old lady standing beside him, weighing on him. "Hmm. Yeah..." Eliott mumbled, trying to focus on finding the perfect balm capable of treating his painful neck. Maybe if he ignored him, would Lucas stop fussing like this?

"Cola! Wow! That's insane!" Eliott bit his lip of awkwardness. Which of its balms had the most beneficial properties... "Oh. Of course, strawberry, good old classic." Eliott turned his head again towards Lucas. The latter was now holding three boxes of condoms against his stomach. The young boy behind him gaped at him. "Lucas, could you please be quiet?" Eliott whispered, giving him a murderous look. "Oh come on love! This is all very natural!" Lucas replied. "Don't think these "sensuous vanilla" flavoured condoms are very organic though..." He added, laughing himself with his own joke. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, Eliott returned to his balms. A few seconds went flew without Lucas opening his mouth again. Maybe he was finally tired? As Eliott indulged in a pleasant sense of relief, his state of mind was violently broken by Lucas's voice. "Mutual climax condoms!" At these words, Eliott heard behind him the sound of objects falling to the ground. He turned his head and saw the old lady who had just let out her plastic bag filled with pharmaceutical items. The face of the latter was borrowing a scandalised expression. Beeing at his wits' end, Eliott grabbed the first balm passing under his hand and walked towards Lucas with long strides. "Ok, babe, enough, let's go." He said, grabbing his arm. "Wait, wait." Lucas replied, freeing himself from his grip. "What the fuck does it means? "Mutual climax condoms"... Weird... " He mumbled, turning the box over. "Ribbed, delaying, performance enhancing, textured... Eli, this sounds awesome! I take it..." Eliott pressed two of his fingers against his closed eyelids to keep the little calm he still had in his tired brain. "Lu... Do I have to remind you that we got tested few weeks ago because we wanted to get rip off condoms?" He whispered softly into Lucas' ear. "Oh yeah... Stupid boring taste of your naked dick..." Eliott almost choked on his own saliva. A few yards from them, he saw a man, in the plasters department, turn his crimson face in discomfort towards Lucas. "Shut your drunk mouth!" Eliott whispered, trying to catch Lucas's gaze. "More, I'm sure you don't really think my dick is that boring..." He added in a tiny voice that only Lucas could hear. "Yeah well, ok, I admit it, it's not boring at all! But being tested doesn't mean we can't have fun times to times!" Exclaimed Lucas again. Loosing all patience, Eliott grabbed his arm again with an authoritarian gesture. "Ok, that's it, let's get out of here." He started to drag him towards the counter but Lucas struggled again. "I haven't finished yet! Look at all these sorts of lubes!" Eliott huffed. "Ok, you know what? Do what you want, I'll wait for you outside... " Then he turned around and walked away.

In front of the the counter, red cheeks because of shame, Eliott put the balm close to the woman and took a prescription from the pocket of his jeans. "I'll take this and 4 boxes of 10mg Abilify please." He said, handing her the prescription. The middle-aged woman, seemed to have heard everything from Lucas's speeches, she too seemed a little embarrassed and bit her cheek to, obviously, prevent herself from laughing. Should he apologise for Lucas's behaviour? Eliott quickly decided not. It was better to hurry out as quickly as possible without saying anything to anyone. The woman disappeared in the back shop to return a few seconds later, 4 boxes of antipsychotics in her arms. No sooner had she placed them on the counter than Lucas appeared, silently, from behind Eliott and put on the counter, a whole stock of condoms and lubricants of all kinds. In his haste, he dropped two boxes on the other side of the counter, forcing the woman to bend over to pick them up. "We're gonna take all this too." Announced the young man with great self-confidence. The woman looked up questioningly at Eliott, looking to ask if she should, in fact, collect the items. "Yeah, yeah, let's take all this..." Eliott huffed resignedly. "Lu, please, go wait for me outside. -No! I don't leave you!" Lucas replied, wrapping his arms around his thin waist, like a little monkey clinging firmly to his mother. "Yeah... That's infortunate sometimes..." muttered Eliott. The woman giggled. While the latter was busy collecting the improbable number of items brought back by Lucas, the young man grabbed one of the boxes placed in front of them in the large paper bag. "Intense orgasmic gel... It says that it feels warming and cooling and tingling! How brilliant is that?!" Eliott bowed his head, not daring to look at the woman. "Lucas, for fuck's sake, shut up... -Oh relax!" Lucas watched the woman cashing the items. As she passed a white box under the machine, the young man addressed her directly. "Vegan lube... Oh yeah, great invention." The woman, a shy smile on her lips, nodded politely. As if electrocuted, Eliott turned to Lucas. "Vegan lube? Seriously? Have you tried to find the most useless and expensive thing in the drugstore?!" He asked in a tense whisper. "No, of course no. Or else I'd have pick those XXL condoms... Which are pretty scary by the way..." Deciding not to dwell on this last remark, Eliott shook his head. "No but... Vegan lube? You're the less vegan person I know... -Curiosity my love, curiosity..."

A minute later, when the pharmacist had finished collecting all the items, she looked up at Eliott. "Do you know how to take them properly? Do you need any advices or are you used to them? -It's okay, I... -Don't worry Miss, we're actually very familiar with this kind of products, safe and fun sex is our mantra!" Lucas cut him off, grabbing the paper bag. "Oh God... Lucas, she's talking about my meds..." He said to him in a weak voice, mortified with shame. "Oh yeah, it makes sense..." After quickly greeting the woman, Eliott hastily led Lucas to the exit. On his walk, the latter jostled slightly the young boy who had obviously found the courage to choose a small box of condoms. No doubt Lucas's lack of embarrassment had helped him take the plunge. Passing the door, Lucas exclaimed "Bye guys!" And the couple finally found themselves on the street. "Lucas Lallemant, you're gonna be the death of me!" Eliott exclaimed, his cheeks red with embarrassment as he rushed towards their apartment. "Oh come on, admit it, it was fun! -No, it wasn't fun at all." If Eliott was really honest, the situation as embarrassing as it could be was fundamentally funny and he would probably be laughing heartily about it soon but for the moment, only one desire prevailed over everything else: Get away from this damn drugstore as quickly as possible and never set foot there again. "Anyway, I'm so happy that we bought all these things, we're gonna have great fun trying them all..." Eliott said nothing. Lucas took advantage of his silence to continue in a cheerful voice. "Quick, let's go home, I can't wait." At these words, Eliott slowed down and looked Lucas straight in the eyes. "Lu, let's be clear. There's no way we're having sex right now. -Not right now of course, we're in the middle of the street Love." Lucas replied very seriously looking around them. "No, I mean, not right now of course but not even at home. -What?! Why?!" Shouted the young man, his face tinged with real disappointment. After the child in the middle of a toy store, the child deprived of his favourite toy... "Because I don't want to, it's pretty simple." Eliott explained, keeping walking. "But I want to have sex with you!!" Lucas complained in a voice still far too loud. Crossing the puzzled look of a passerby, Eliott pressed his hand against his forehead. "God Dammit, Lucas, shut up and stop this little tantrum of yours..." He said without being able to hold back an amused smile and fastening the pace. "No, I won't shut up! Not until I have your bubblegum flavoured dick in my mouth!" Lucas exclaimed shamelessly. "Ok, that's it, I don't walk with you anymore, you're way too embarrassing!" Eliott decreed as he started running towards their nearby apartment. "Eliott! Eliott come back here!" Lucas called him. "We'll meet again at the flat!" Eliott replied, taking care not to slow down the pace. "Ok then we'll fuck?! -Oh God... I don't know that guy, I swear I don't know him... " Said the young man by crossing a young woman who had obviously missed nothing of their talk. "Eliott Demaury! Answer me ! Will you fuck me hard?! -That guy's insane, he thinks I'm his boyfriend but I'm not all." Eliott said to a new passer-by while laughing at Lucas' insane obstinacy. The latter, tired of shouting, started to run in his turn to catch up with Eliott.

Breathless and messyhaired, the two young men finally came into their small apartment. Eliott put the drugstore bag on the small table of the living room and turned to Lucas. "You're such an idiot..." He whispered, a big smile on his lips, wrapping his arms around his neck. "You love that about me..." Lucas replied, hoisting himself on tiptoe to put his lips on Eliott's. "Mmmh, yeah, I kinda do..." Admitted the latter against his lips before kissing him. "I love you." Murmured Lucas as he peppered kisses on his mouth, his cheek, his jaw then along his neck. Eliott sighed and smiled as he raised his eyes to the heaven. Slowly, Lucas lifted the hem of Eliott's hoodie and ran his hands along the skin of his belly. He raised his face again to nit at his lips. Eliott giggled. "I was serious though..." He smirked against Lucas's lips, running soft hands on his back. "About what?" -We're not having sex." As electrocuted, Lucas's body stiffened. "Why??" He asked as he raised puppy eyes into Eliott's. The latter took a step back. "Don't look at me like that, it won't work this time." He said in a warm smile. "Is it because I'm drunk?" -Yes. -Oh come on! I can assure you I'm more than consenting..." Lucas whispered as he walked into Eliott's arms, trying to kiss him again. Smiling, the young man raised his face to deny him any more kiss. "I know that." He sighed as he ran his fingers along the slope of Lucas's shoulders. "I want you Eli... -Yeah, I know that too... " He laughed. "We can sign a contract! Then later, if I complain that I didn't really want to have sex, you could show me that paper..." Proposed Lucas, leaking and slightly bitting his collar bone. "This is not the point you idiot!" Answered Eliott, stroking his soft and messy hair. "So what?" Lucas asked, pinching one of Eliott's butt cheek through his jeans. The young man took another step back. "Crazy good drunk sex is a myth, Love." Lucas remained silent. "Believe me, I want to have sex with you too... -Great! So let's do it!" Shouted the young man, trying to hug Eliott again. This one escaped his embrace. "No, no, no, no! There's no way I'm having sex with you right now. It's gonna be sloppy, clumsy or boring. -Well... Thank you very much ... " Muttered Lucas as he crossed his arms against his own torso. "Don't be upset..." Eliott whispered, softly stroking his cheek with his hand. "You know what? -What?" Lucas asked, raising sad eyes into Eliott's. "Go take a good shower while I cook pastas with a lot of butter and grated cheese. Aren't you hungry anymore? " Lucas bite his lower lip. "Yeah, well, a bit... -That's what I thought. We'll eat then... We'll see. -We'll see?" Said Lucas in a mischievous smile. "Yeah, we'll see." Eliott answered as he dropped a small kiss on Lucas's lips. "But... There's something which bother me..." Mumbled the young man. "What is it?" Asked Eliott, his hand tracing some comforting patterns on Lucas's back. "If your cooking kill us we won't be able to have sex... -Oh come on! Go take a shower you idiot!" Eliott exclaimed in a laugh, pushing Lucas toward the bathroom.

Half an hour later, Lucas came out of the bathroom, invaded by hot steam, skin reddened by warm water, hair still dripping on his large and comfy hoodie. The young man sat down at the small kitchen table in front of the plate of pastas that Eliott had just served him. The latter sat down in front of him. Suspicious, Lucas brought his plate to his nose and sniffed it for a long time. "No weird smell..." He said. "Of course there isn't weird smell, it's pastas!" -Yeah... Well, we can never be too careful... -You're an idiot..." Lucas grabbed a single pasta with his fork, carried it close to his lips and carefully put the tip of his tongue on it. "No suspicious aftertaste..." He said again. "Eat, you moron!" Against all odds, Eliott's pastas turned out to be delicious. Mouth full of pastas and melted cheese, Lucas closed his eyes. "Oh it's so good... It feels so great, I was starving..." Lucas whispered in a soft voice. "I'm glad you appreciate my cooking skills to the full at last. -Don't take that for granted my Dear, I'm still the one who cooks in this house." The young man answered, spitting a bit of pastas in front of him. "What did I do to deserve such a mistrustful boyfriend?" Eliott sighed, swallowing a mouthful of pastas. "Poni. You did poni." A few minutes later, his plate engulfed, Lucas leaned against the back of his chair, put his hands on his full stomach and stretched his legs to put them on Eliott's knees on the other side of the table. "It was good... Thanks.” He sighed with relief. Eliott put his hands on his bare ankles. "Yep, I feel so full right now but... You know what I'd love?" Lucas raised a wary eyebrow at him. "What? -A dessert to finish properly the meal. Something sweet. -Don't we have yogurts anymore? -Nop, I ate the last one yesterday... We have nothing sugary." A small silence settled. Suddenly, an idea of ​​genius crossed Lucas's mind. His eyes lit up and a broad smile settled on his lips. He straightened up and put his feet back on the ground. "I know what we could eat as dessert! -What?" Asked Eliott, looking at his boyfriend with eyes full of curiosity.

The latter got up quickly and went to the small table in the living room. He grabbed the drugstore bag and went back to the kitchen. One hand in the bag, he stood next to Eliott, the latter staring at him, still sitting on his chair. "This evening, Mister Demaury, we have some desserts for you..." He randomly took out one of the boxes bought earlier that evening. "Cola. Or..." He put his hand back into the bag and pulled out a small purple tube. "Blueberry lube, a house specialty served with..." He grabbed a new box. Not recognizing this one, he quickly read the writings on the back. "Abilify, antipsychotics... No, no, not this one." The young man sent the said box into the little wicker basket where Eliott used to store his meds before putting his hand back in the bag. "Strawberry flavoured condoms! What a nice mix!" Eliott laughed hard. "But if fruits aren't your cup of tea, we still have bubblegum." Lucas continued, putting a new small box in front of Eliott. "Oh and after dessert you could even taste some..." He plunged his hand into the bag again. "Mojito!" He exclaimed proudly placing another umpteenth box on the table. "Mojito?! Are you serious?! This is insane..." Eliott wondered as he grabbed the box of strange green condoms. "Yeah... Science can do so many great things nowaday. What a great time to be alive!" Eliott laughed again. Dropping the box of green condoms next the others, he looked up at Lucas. "You know that all these things are gonna be lame or even disgusting right? -Maybe. But we can't be too sure before even trying them. -Right..." "So? Have you made your choice?" Lucas asked. "Mmmh... I have to admit that the mojito ones seem very appealing... But you have some more stuffs in your bag, don't you? -Yeah but they aren't flavoured. We have... Intense orgasmic gel." He said while taking out new boxes. "The well known vegan lube." Eliott rolled his eyes. "The mutual climax condoms, the "glow in the dark "condoms... -Wait... You bought these while you're the one who love to have sex in the light? -They seem fun! Think about it... All is dark except for a dick which is blowing. A dick which isn't attached to any body! So fun!" Eliott giggled. "Then, to finish... Two lubes. One which is tingling and one which is wharming. -This is gonna be awful..." Eliott laughed. "Yeah, maybe. Anyway..." At these words, Lucas knelt in front of Eliott and took his hands in his. He stared into his eyes before clearing his throat. "Eliott Demaury..." He began to say solemnly. "Will you have sex with me?"

With a big smile, Eliott shook his head then leaned over. He cupped Lucas' cheeks in his hands kissed him. "As I could say no to you for too long... -Answer me. -Yes, yes I will, you idiot." He said, way too amused by the way Lucas acted as if it was their first time. "Yes! Lallemant is in da place! Lallemant is always winning!" Lucas exclaimed in a gesture of victory, like a soccer player after a world cup goal. Eliott chuckled and shrugged before standing up. "Go wait for me in the room." He said as Lucas hopped on the spot with great excitement by gathering in his arms all the boxes of condoms and lubes. "Why don't you come with me?" Asked the young man. "I gonna grab a towel in the bathroom. I washed the sheets yesterday. These condoms and lubes are gonna be sticky, grassy and messy, I don't want to get our fresh clean sheets dirty. -Oh yes... Talk dirty to me Daddy... -Stop with your daddy shit already!" Eliott shouted, laughing and rolling his eyes again. "Go!" When Eliott joined their room, a large brown towel in his arms, he found Lucas, sitting cross-legged on the bed, busy unclipping all the boxes from their plastic packaging. He invited him to shift slightly, spread the towel over the white sheets then sat behind him. Eliott rested his lips on the young man's neck and started to lay a myriad of little kisses on his warm skin. His hands came to rest under his hoodie, all against the skin of his thin waist. "You're so beautiful..." Eliott whispered as he pressed his lips against the base of Lucas's neck again. "So sexy." He made his way up to his earlobe, driving Lucas to moan involuntarily at the feeling of his breath on his skin. "Wait, Eli, I want to finish that..." Lucas said, working harldy on one of the boxes. "If I don't finish it, this fucking plastic will drive me mad when I gonna want to try these on your dick... -Hurry up then... " Eliott answered, his voice deep and husky. Focused Lucas was gorgeous. Eliott could have look at him during hours. His mouth slightly open, his big and serious eyes focusing on his task, those small forehead wrinkles as he frowned. He always made the same face, as with his homeworks as these condoms boxes. Eliott smiled and put his forehead on his shoulder, waiting for Lucas to complete his difficult but very important mission, his arms still slowly stroking his belly's skin under his hoodie. As Eliott felt a wave of such affection for his boyfriend, which left him almost breathless, Lucas jumped a little bit on the mattress. "Done!" He shouted before he turned slightly and caught Eliott's eyes. "Let's get it on baby!" Eliott giggled as Lucas turned around to face him. He sat in between his legs and kissed him, his hands slightly poking his cheeks. Eliott closed his eyes and felt Lucas's hands reaching inside his pants. The young man arched into his boyfriend's touch. The latter stroked him quickly and hard. Astonished during a few seconds under strong waves of pleasure, Eliott couldn't do anything until he made his mind a little bit. He opened his eyes, took Lucas's hand in his and forced him to stop. "Wow, wow, wow. Hey, wait! What the fuck are you doing? -Handjob Eli, it calls a handjob." Answered Lucas, smirking. "Yeah, no shit! I got that, thanks but... -I need you to get hard if I want to try all the things we bought. -No, no, not like that." Eliott whispered as he get Lucas's hand out of his pants. The later grumbled a bit but didn't resist. With a lingering kiss, Eliott pushed Lucas on the matress. "You're way too romantic..." Whispered Lucas in his mouth. "You love that about me..." He slowly peeled Lucas's hoodie then he leaned down to place a kiss against his stomach, loving the way the young man shivered. Eliott striped off his own hoodie and tee-shirt, enjoying the sight of his boyfriend's naked torso. Even after on full year of relationship, his breath was still caught by Lucas's nakedness. His stocky, muscular body, so nervous... Most beautiful boy ever. "Fucking beautiful..." Eliott's eyes flashed. He kissed Lucas's stomach and liked his nipples. The later's hands shifted, running through Eliott's head, tugging lightly at his hair and tilting his head to the side. Laying fully down on him, Eliott rolled his hips forward and Lucas could feel that he was already a bit hard against his thigh. He shifted his hips a little so that they lined up, and then thrust upward. Eliott let out a gasp. Slowly, Lucas unzipped the zip of Eliott's jeans. The later, still kissing and licking one of Lucas's nipple, smiled against his skin. "Pants off." Whispered Lucas. "Bossy..." Eliott teased, bitting the soft skin of his collarbone. "You were the horny one, undress me." He retorted before getting on his knees to allow Lucas to sweep his jeans off. Eargerly, the young man straightened and reached for Eliott's pants and trousers. When he had his boyfriend naked, he looked his body, liking his lips. Lucas grinned, quickly getting rid of his own tracksuit. As Eliott fell down again on Lucas, their noses bumped and their teeth clicked together, they laughed for a bit then they kissed and kissed again. Lucas's hand went down, stroking Eliott's torso then hip to reach their lowers areas. The young man wrapped his hand around both of them, gripping both of their dicks and sliding them together. "Oh fuck..." Eliott groaned out, his hand gripping Lucas's forearm. They didn't really kiss anymore, their noses rubbing together, their hair surrounding their faces. Their dicks were hard now but not very slicked, which Lucas appreciated, it was time for their little experiments... Suddenly he shifted their bodies to put Eliott on his back. Without any trace of shiness, Lucas was eying Eliott's dick like if it was the tastiest dish he had ever seen. The later smiled, knowing what Lucas had in mind, he put his hands under his head and waited patiently. He gasped loudly as Lucas bent over in front of his dick. "I wan't to suck you..." Whispered Lucas with greedy eyes, letting his hot breath dancing on Eliott's erection. "Well... Do you need any invitation? -Weren't you the one who was worry about consent? -Oh fuck, blow it already Lucas..."

Lucas was fully smirking now. He ran his hands down from his hips to smooth over his thighs, then lower, rasping his fingers through the dark hair of his knees and long legs. He gently took hold of Eliott's shins, spreading his legs wider to be able to slot himself in between them. Lucas brought his mouth to the base of Eliott's dick. He licked a long, slow stripe up from the base to the head, making Eliott jerk wildly. Then he licked his own lips. "Hmmm ... Pretty good but still a bit boring..." He whispered before getting up on his knees again. Quickly, he bent over the amount of small boxes, took the pink one, took a condom outside of it and used his teeth to tear it open. "Oh shit! I think I bite the condom too..." Said Lucas as he frowned, looking seriously worried, looking at the pink piece of latex. At these words, Eliott still laying on his back and looking at Lucas, snorted loudly. Lucas raised his eyes on him. "What? "Lu, really I love you but sometimes you're killing me... -Why? -We got tested, we're clean! We don't ever need any fucking condom! You could chew it, it wouldn't matter... -Oh yeah, right... -Really Lucas..." Eliott whispered in a big smile, openly making fun of his boyfriend. "Watch your mouth or I'll chew that condom right on your dick!" Shouted Lucas as he unrolled the condom meticulously over Eliott's cock. The latter groaned deeply as Lucas licked his head again, but then quickly took nearly all of his dick in his mouth. Eliott gasped sharply as his boyfriend began to suck slow and hard. "Oh fuck, yeah..." Eliott murmured, fisting Lucas's hair roughly. Lucas started to graze the highly sensitive skin and took him even deeper. Eliott pulled him closer by the hair, unable to help himself but slightly fucking his mouth. Despite the condom, and as usual, Lucas was slowly driving him crazy. He could feel himself getting closer. "Don't stop, don't st..." Of course Lucas chose that moment to stop. He raised his face, a thin trickle of drool still connecting his swollen lips to the pink condom. Lucas staired at Eliott who was trying to keep quiet, utterly frustrated by the brutal end of this pure bliss. The latter look into his boyfriend's eyes. "This doesn't taste good at all..." Said Lucas, making a weird face. "I'm not even surprised..." Answered Eliott, a bit breathless. "Come here. Let me taste." Lucas crawled through his naked body. Eliott had flushed cheeks and his lips were parted, still recovering after this very short hint of blowjob. Lucas bent over and slipped his tongue inside Eliott's smouth. Sliding Lucas's waist, Eliott pulled him closer. One of his hands slipped down to squeeze his butt. Lucas's mouth tasted as sweet plastic. Like an old toy covered by some weird liquid candy. "This is disgusting!" Eliott exclaimed. "See?" Smiling, Eliott kissed the tip of Lucas's nose. "My turn..." He whispered. Suddenly, the young man rolled them over to be on top again.

Never taking his eyes away from Lucas, Eliott got on his knees, threw the disgusting condom around him on the ground then grabbed another condom box. Opening one with his fingers, he grasped the tip of the condom firmly between his tongue and the roof of his mouth. Every Lucas's muscles tightened as Eliott unrolled the condom with his mouth around his dick. "I almost forgot this little trick of yours..." Lucas purred. Eliott smiled around his cock and then took him down to the base, nosing at the wiry pubic hair. The young man started a punishing rhythm of sucking and swallowing against the flavored latex, maintaining steady pressure and holding Lucas at the hips. Lucas gasped, clutching the sheets and the towel below him with white knuckled fist as the hot, wet tongue swirled around his sensitive head. The talented mouth playing over him, finally removed his ability to speak in anything other than broken groans. Using his tongue the way he knew drove Lucas absolutely insane, Eliott fastened his rythm, sucking harder and harder on his dick. "For fuck's sake... Eli, please..." Groaned Lucas, bitting his own lips. "What? -Throw that fucking condom away, I... I want to feel your mouth for real..." Eliott chuckled around his cock in his mouth. The young man let Lucas's dick popping out of his mouth. He took off the condom, threw it away and as he was ready to get back to business, Lucas stopped him by putting his hand against his forehead, he pushed him away. "Wait... Which flavoured was this one? -Mojito. Lucky me, it wasn't that bad... -Can I taste it?" Eliott slightly stroked Lucas's dick with two of his fingers, collecting a bit of precum and rest of the condom's flavoured lubricant. He raised his fingers to Lucas's mouth. The latter greedily licked on them as on a lollipop, looking into his boyfriend's eyes. "Oh... Pretty tasty indeed..." The two boys remained motionless and smiling for a moment. "Anyway... I think you were in the middle of something, weren't you? -Hn? Nope... I don't remember anything... -Tease... " Lucas hissed. Smirking, Eliott chuckled then bent down again on Lucas's erection. Very slowly, the young man wrapped his lips around his balls. He rolled them gently between his lips and sucked on them too. When Lucas reached down, in a sweet groan, to touch himself, Eliott slapped his hand away. "Wait for it Baby..." He said in a whisper on Lucas's skin. Eliott took Lucas's ball in his hand then started to mouth at the base oh his dick. He followed the prominent vein to the top. Then, quickly, he started to bob his head again, up and down, up and down, his tongue dancing around Lucas's throbbing member. The latter lifted one of his hand and buried it in Eliott's messy hair. Lucas could feel the pleasure building up and he needed more, always more. Amazed and aroused like Hell just by hearing the sweet moans and groans his boyfriend were now making without any way to control them, Eliott opened his mouth wider and let his throat relax before going down until every inch of Lucas's dick was in his mouth. Lucas cried out in pleasure and arched. Hearing hisboyfriend taking more and more pleasure, Eliott liftted his head and kissed his groin.

"Hey... Why... Why have you stopped?" Panted Lucas. "I want to be in you..." Whispered Eliott, kissing his soft skin again. "Oh. Yes... yeah ok. Take one of the new lubes..." Smiling, Eliott got quickly on his knees and chose the "warming" lube. He took the small red bottle, squeezed a copious amount of gel into his palm. He covered two of his fingers with the substance before laying down next to Lucas. He kissed his cheek and put an arm under his head. He kissed him again. "Spread your legs..." Eliott whispered in his mouth. So did Lucas. The young man reached in between his legs and circled his sensitive rim before pushing slowly, very slowly one first finger. Suddenly, Lucas's body stiffened. He opened big round eyes and frowned. "Wow... No, wait... Eli, stop! -What?" Eliott asked, no moving anymore. "The lube, it's... It's terrible. -Oh come on, it's just a bit warm... -I'm serious Eliott, get out of my ass!" Lucas wriggled, moved away from Eliott's hand then sat down on the matress, trying to get rid of the traces of lube on and in his butts. Breathing out deeply, Eliott started to lose some patience. All this sex was a nonsense... The young man only wanted to be in Lucas's arms, making love to him then getting to sleep. Was that way too complicated? He sighed, exaspered. "You're overreacting... You could have used to it... -No, Eli, I swear, it's terrible." Replied Lucas, wipping his ass with the towel. Eliott shruged. "You drama queen..." Lucas, a bit upset by his boyfriend's attitude, raised his eyebrows at him. "Oh yeah ? You really think I'm overreacting? "Well..." Eliott mumbled as he sat next to him. "Ok, let's see that..." Lucas took the small red bottle of lube, put a large amount of gel in his hand then rubbed it all along Eliott's dick. The latter opened his mouth to say that this lube wasn't terrible and quite nice actually but a very unpleasant feeling of burn explosed on his dick. "Wh... What the Hell is that?!" The young man shouted. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is awful! -Ah! Who's the drama queen now?!" Lucas exclaimed, very proud to have proven his point to his arrogant boyfriend. "Give me that fucking towel!" Said Eliott, trying to make some fresh air with his hands around his burning dick. "Hn, hn. What to we say first?" Replied Lucas, hidding the towel behing his back. "Oh come on Lu, this isn't funny!" Eliott shouted, desesperatly wiggling. "What do we say first? -Please Lucas, give me that fucking towel, you were right, I'm sorry. Please, please, please my love! " Finally, Lucas gave the towel to him. The young man grabbed it quickly then rubbed himself with it during long and long seconds. "I don't even understand how they dare to sell this kind of shit..." He grumbled.

After a minute, once their butts and dicks cleaned of any stain of burning lube, the two naked boys, still on their knees in front of each other, looked into each other eyes. "We're ridiculous..." Said Lucas in a smirk. Eliott, agree with him, started to laugh. "Guess we wouldn't have had all these problems with vegan lube..." These last words made Eliott laugh harder and it wasn't long before Lucas joining in. The two of them laughed so hard, they ended up wiping tears from their eyes. "Come here..." Eliott said as he opened his arms to Lucas. The latter crowld into his embrace. The couple cuddled each other in a warm (sweet warm this time) atmosphere. After some time, Lucas opened an eye and looked upon Eliott's shoulder. "Look at this mess..." He whispered. The two young men were surrounded by dirty towel and sheets (despite Eliott's care), a dozen of condoms all across the room and by two dirty condoms, dripping lube and precum on their new carpet. "I feel so gross..." Mumbled Eliott, lowering his eyes on their two sticky bodies. "Do... Do you still want to fuck?" Asked Lucas, kissing Eliott's chin. "Well... If you want to but... You know what I'm dreaming of right now? -What? -Shower, just a good hot shower. -Oh I'm so in!" The two young men, before spinning in the shower and without even bothering to get dressed, took the time to clean the room a bit. Eliott put new clean sheets on the mattress while Lucas worked to find an empty drawer where he could store all the lubes and condoms. The two young men took pleasure in throwing the lube from Hell in the nearest trash can and disappeared in the bathroom. Under the warm, pleasant and saving water, they stroked each other again, this time slowly, tenderly, without laughing or joking coming to intersperse their endless kisses. Each cum into the other's hand in a peaceful groan of pleasure. A little bit later, in the bed, under the soft and thick duvet, Eliott let the hazy warmth enveloping him. On his back, the skin of Lucas who was spooning him as usual. The young man sighed happily. "Eli ... -Yeah? -I love you. -I love you too my love." "Eli? -What? -You smell good. -Thanks, you too. Sleep now babe." "Eli? -... -Eli, are you sleeping? -Not yet... What? -We forgot to try the glowing in the dark condom... -For God sake, Lu, sleep now!"

[hall-of-merlin2]

Magic, Monsters and Merthur - 1x03 - (Merthur)

I see what the people want, I give the people what they want.

Loads, loads, and holy fuck how much character content can there be in one episode???!!!

A lot.

A whole frickin lot.

<_><_><_>

“Dad? her’es your sandwich.”

“Mmm, what’s in it?”

“It’s smoked pigeon, but I’d say there’s more smoke than pigeon.”

***

“And I’ve done you some watercress soup tonight.”

“Don’t tell me... With more water in it than cress?”

03:02

This is just… This is so frickin’ adorable. They’re both cuties, and I will declare now that “cutie” is the highest praise a character can get.

A new list is born, except we’re not comparing Cuties, we’re just all getting mushy over them.

<_><_><_>

03:45

AWH!

This is such obvious flirting! Even more obvious than Arthur and Merlin, I daresay, but then it went nowhere because someone suddenly realized that Gwen needed to end up with Arthur. I wish whoever it was that they didn’t.

(JUST LOOK AT THEIR SMILES THEY’RE SO FRICKING ADORABLE)

<_><_><_>

04:10

Okay, so I’m not the biggest Morgwen shipper, but…

Come on! This really is sweet!

(And can you blame Morgana for falling for Gwen? Just look at that Cutie’s smile!)

<_><_><_>

04:40

And on the flipside we have Arthur “I’ll come all the way out to this tower that’s directly opposite everything else just to give you a message by myself and not let another servant or guard do it for me” Pendragon.

Both Pendragons really are completely gone for their servants.

<_><_><_>

04:48

I like Gaius’ face though.

He looks like he’s one second away from shaking his head and looking at Merlin in that look that’s just so exasperated at Merlin taking everyone’s hearts on his first week.

<_><_><_>

05:02

Gaius: Has a point.

Merlin: :O

Merlin: >:(

<_><_><_>

05:08

YA’LL WANNA TALK ABOUT SOMEONE ICONIC-

<_><_><_>

“But not all magic is bad. I know it isn’t!”

“It’s neither good nor bad. It’s how you use it.”

07:50

The first version of the “Evil lies in the hearts of men” line.

So, once again, YA’LL WANNA TALK ABOUT SOMEONE ICONIC-

<_><_><_>

08:40

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

-aaaaaaaaa, nah. It’s just Arthur getting back at Merlin for “Being late”.

What a different episode THAT would have been…

<_><_><_>

09:38

Arthur uses a snappy tone.

(Almost an accusation.)

But Gaius is having none of it.

And Arthur immediately SITS THE FUCK DOWN.

God, imagine how Arthur would have turned out if Gaius wasn’t there to “occasionally” remind Arthur that he will not be taking his shit and he can get off that pedestal now.

YA’LL WANNA TALK ABOUT SOMEONE ICONIC-

Okay okay I’m gonna stop.

Gaius has earned the Cutie award.

Welcome to the big leagues!

<_><_><_>

Are you mad? Merlin, your life’s destined for more important things.

But what if I don’t practice, then how will I get to be this… Great Warlock?!

There will come a time when your skills will be recognized.

*Frustrated noises* When?! How long do I have to wait?!

Patience is a virtue, Merlin.

Oh sitting by and doing nothing, that’s a virtue?

*Raises ladle* Your time. Will come.

I point this out a few episodes later, but this is the real difference between Gaius and Kilgharrah.

Both of their goals are to get Merlin to fulfill “his destiny”. Kilgharrah may know more of what his “destiny” actually is, but Gaius has no clue. He truly has no reason to believe that Merlin is “one side of a coin” or that Arthur is important in his “destiny”, he just sees how powerful Merlin is.

He also sees just how eager Merlin is to use his magic. How he understands the more complex concepts of magic and knows how to use it, and has quite the moral compass, that Merlin is actually prepared for “his destiny” or “doing good”, but he also sees what a hothead Merlin is, how quickly he jumps from one thought to another, how little he thinks at all once he gets something into his head. Gaius knows that whatever Merlin’s “destiny” is, he could probably handle it with what he’s already taught him, but he also knows that this thing is not “it”. And realizing that Merlin still has to wait, knowing how disinterested he actually is in that, he tries to get Merlin to power through this time. He tries to instill this “hope” into him, that he will be great, that he will be free, that he will be fine and that he just has to endure, and not kill everybody along the way.

The intent is good. And I think Merlin realizes this later, but at this stage, Merlin is still not used to sitting still. I don’t think he ever is, he’s just become more clever about it.

Also… Please enjoy yet another perfectly timed screencap.

He look happy.

<_><_><_>

What’s different about this victim?

Uh… She’s a woman!

…

Sometimes I do wonder if your magical talents were given to the right person.

12:10

Gaius is so fuckin done XD

Ahhh okay. Gaius gets the Snarky Cutie award. This will be competed for, let’s see who holds it the longest.

<_><_><_>

So what’s the thing they do share?

Uh… Water.

*Encouraging pen pointing*

Water. You think the disease is spread through water!

Merlin. You’re a prodigy.

12:45

Yeah… Gaius is keeping this award for a long time.

<_><_><_>

17:19

Oh… Oh my poor Merlin… My poor boy is reminded that he has no father to hug :(

Is that one of the reasons he acted so impulsively? Besides the obvious one, that he loves Gwen – but did Merlin cure Gwen’s father because he didn’t want Gwen to live without one, like he has?

Oh… Oh…

Oh my sweet precious sunshine, my heart just shattered.

MERLIN RECEIVES THE SELFLESS CUTIE AWARD. I DON’T THINK ANYONE WILL TAKE IT OFF HIM.

<_><_><_>

18:55

EPISODE 3 MAGIC REVEAL – THE DUO OF MERLIN AND GWEN, FUCKING SHIT UP SINCE MERLIN DECIDED TO COME TO CAMELOT.

WE DESERVED THIS.

“I’m psychic.”

*laughing* “No you’re not.”

“It’s true!”

“Alright, what am I thinking?”

“That I’m not psychic.”

*laughter* “You’re strange...

“I don’t mean that in a nasty way!

“You’re just... Funny.

“I like that.”

MY FUCKIN HEART.

THEY ARE BOTH SO ADORABLE!!!

THIS IS SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS!

CUTIES OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER. THE ADORABLE CUTIES. THE MOST ADORABLE CUTIES TO EVER EXIST.

OH REALLY.

*loud screeching in the distance*

*sound of glass shattering*

NO THAT WAS MY HEART WHY DID YOU TAKE IT!

I MEAN CONGRATS YOU NOW HAVE IT! ARE YOU HAPPY?

I AM!

CUTIES!

<_><_><_>

“It’s too late. They think Gwen’s a sorceress, they think she caused the disease.”

“But she didn’t!”

22:25

By any means fucking necessary.

<_><_><_>

“I have seen the way the girl works. Her fingers are worn, her nails are broken.

“If she was a sorceress, why would she do this?!

“Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning, when she could make these things happen with the snap of her fingers?

“Like an idle king.”

“You have no right!…”

“But you have the right to cast a judgment-!”

“I have a responsibility to take care of this kingdom!”

…

“I take no pleasure in this.” (AS FUCKING IF)

“But you are sentencing the wrong person!”

“She’s right, Father. You hear the word ‘magic’ and you no longer listen.”

“You saw it for yourself, she used enchantments.”

“Yes!… Maybe. But to save her dying father! That doesn’t make her guilty of creating a plague.

“One’s the act of kindness, of love, the other of evil – I don’t believe evil’s in this girl’s heart.”

“I have witnessed what witchcraft can do. I’ve suffered at its hand. I cannot take that chance.

If there is the slightest doubt about this girl she must die or the whole kingdom may perish.”

“I understand that…”

“One day you may become king… Then you will understand – such decisions must be made. There are dark forces that threaten this kingdom.”

“I know witchcraft is an evil, Father, so is injustice!”

24:25

God, Morgana and Arthur uniting against Uther for Gwen and Uther just ignoring what they’re saying and repeating the same “mAgIC iS eViL hUr DuR” bullshit.

Uther should have died sooner.

Like… this episode.

Morgana should have just snapped.

<_><_><_>

27:25

Gwen the martyr.

I can already imagine it. People at the execution whispering among themselves “She’s a witch?” “No way! She’s so kind!” “Rumors say she’s not.” “She’s not! It’s just the King again.” “But if she’s innocent, why?” “He’ll burn a frog if he thought it would help.” “That’s dumb. She doesn’t deserve to die!” “No, she does not.”

I can imagine everyone looking away, quietly letting their anger build up, but unable or not courageous enough to save her. I can imagine the people whispering to themselves when the guards are out of earshot, about how “The king is out of control”, “Her death stopped nothing!” and more. How that anger they thought they buried flares up. How it seeps through the cracks they left. How it makes them draw a knife, and plunge it into a guard’s neck. How if they felt guilty, everyone who called them a hero say that was one of Them who stood by and watched it. How that anger forms a community, how it brings people together. How the first time the chopping block is being assembled after Gwen’s death, people start talking. Who’s dying, for what reason…

How can they stop it?

A direct assault? A stealthy escape? An infiltration into the guard ranks? Maybe torches? Make bombs?

Anyone here know magic?

Oh, you do! That’s great.

Let’s kill the king.

As amazing as this sounds, Gwen would have had to die. One of the Adorable Cutie Award holders.

I will not condone that.

<_><_><_>

28:40

Do you think Arthur’s so convinced Merlin can’t have done it because of what happened with Valiant, Merlin exposing a sorcerer, therefore his own kin if this were true? Or because, as Morgana said about Gwen

“Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning, when she could make these things happen with the snap of her fingers?”

Or because Arthur likes him just a little bit?

I think we all know what we want to believe.

<_><_><_>

“He’s in love.”

“...What?”

“With Gwen!”

“I am- not!”

“Yes you are.”

“No way-”

29:03

Oh boys…

<_><_><_>

“...Arthur’s not going to find it. He thinks he is… so sharp. But even when I told him I was a wizard – he still couldn’t see it.”

30:14

I don’t think Arthur noticing or not has anything to do with his intelligence, Merlin, just whether or not he’d like to see you burn :)

Also, Gaius.

“Sometimes it’s pretty hard to spot.”

“Maybe I should go around wearing a pointy hat.”

“I don’t think you’d find one big enough.”

That Award crown is staying firmly planted on his head.

<_><_><_>

32:16

Nope.

<_><_><_>

“We need to destroy [the afanc], then the plague will stop and Uther... may see sense.”

“And that’s why you need Arthur.”

“He’s our best chance.”

“But he won’t want to disobey the king.”

“Leave that to me.”

36:07

Morgana receives the Scheming Cutie Award! My girl knows what buttons to push to get men to listen to her and I think that’s very sexy of her.

<_><_><_>

36:35

Okay, both of these Cuties receive the True Sibling Cutie Awards. I don’t think there is anyone who can take their crown from them, unless…

The True part only means how accurately sibling dynamics are portrayed. Which opens up place for at least some competition!

Hahah! No one gets to have their Award forever.

(But everyone has permanent Cutie status.)

<_><_><_>

37:33

!!!

TRUST!!!

!!!

Merlin said what sounded like something made up, like he always does, but Arthur still goes in because he believes him!

(Yes yes Morgana’s influence may be there, like ‘Oh so you’re chickening out?’, but I THINK ONLY IN MERTHUR.

And I do that because it’s very scarce in this particular ep.)

<_><_><_>

38:01

I love this and all, but I can already think of a better way for Morgana to tell Arthur to stop being sexist.

Just pull out a fuckin sword.

Like… literally. Just from her dress. A knife maybe, but one that doesn’t look like it’s for a kid, a serious dagger that she could stab you with 50 times before you collapse from blood loss.

That’s a… Compliment to her swiftness, not… Not a comment on the dullness of the knife.

Morgana with a sword please!!!

<_><_><_>

43:19

Ah, the cop-out. The writers have committed a robbery.

(I do have to say that it is a masterful manipulation of our feelings. The first and then second episode was all about Merlin dealing with having magic and where to use it, trying to figure out his purpose and whatnot, and very strict repeats of “Do not let anyone else know, you will die”. There’s a reason Uther’s introduction is him killing an innocent sorcerer, and why Morgana is so angry at him about it. It’s establishing that Merlin revealing his magic to someone is a big deal, and it kind of is, so when we get cop-outs like these, we are dissatisfied, because Merlin revealing his magic is a positive thing, and we didn’t get this positive thing, so we are sad. And because this was hinted at, and we were already thinking of how it would look like, and we still do with the fics and stuff, we start to crave Merlin revealing his magic to those people that it was hinted at. To finally get that positive thing – that positive emotion.

This is probably more relevant when Lancelot comes by, since him being so casual about Merlin’s magic is yet more manipulation – it was only a possibility that Merlin revealing his magic is a positive, now it’s confirmed, and Lancelot becomes one of our favorite characters because of this positive thing attributed to him.

I can’t say it’s evil manipulation though, since first impressions do matter and every writer has this dilemma of how to introduce a character to associate some sort of emotion you want to invoke in people when they see them. Introductions are important, and we love or hate characters based on them, at least until learning more about them and then strengthening/changing our opinions of them. That’s why consistency is important, cause if it’s too far from the first impression, it feels odd and takes you out of the story and once you’re out of the story you start looking for more things to take you out and then you just start to hate that thing, and if someone has changed/strengthened their opinion because of one interaction, and then after that interaction the character doesn’t act like how that someone now perceives them, it also breaks the immersion and makes you question whether the writer knows what they’re doing.

I don’t… I don’t know why I’m writing this. I guess… writing theory? Stuff I noticed while writing/analyzing stuff so I could write better? Uh… Anyway.)

THE CHAOS OF THE TRIO OF GWEN MERLIN AND MORGANA WOULD HAVE BEEN GOLDEN. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH TO DESTROY CAMELOT, OR UPROOT THE MONARCHY AND ESTABLISH A DEMOCRACY!

…

It would have been FUN.

(And I’m not gonna get into how the ‘fun’ factor of a show/movie/book contributes to its re-readability and overall positive opinion more than the ‘angst’ or ‘drama’ or ‘depressive’ factors do. That’s… Meh. It’s also something I noticed while writing/analyzing stuff so I could write better. I could get into it, but I just want to finish this episode and go to sleep.)

<_><_><_>

“I hope you didn’t come to her attention.”

“Doubt it.

*Glare*

“Well no one else seems to appreciate my skills! I just want someone to see me for who I am.”

43:52

Case in point…

It really hammers home this idea in the first few episodes. And it makes it incredibly easy to understand Merlin’s motivations in the later episodes.

He just wants to be himself.

<_><_><_>

The Cutie Awards!

(First Holders of an Award Receive an Extra 2 Points Towards Their Score)

(Also everyone can have every single award at a time, it depends on what they do in the episode. At the end of a season, the one who has the most points in one award will be the winner of that award. If everyone gets to be an Adorable Cutie in one ep, it’ll even out the odds ;))

Gaius – The Snarky Cutie (3)

Guinevere – The Adorable Cutie (3)

Tom – The Adorable Cutie (3)

Arthur – The True Sibling Cutie (3)

Morgana – The Scheming Cutie (3), The True Sibling Cutie (3)

Merlin – The Selfless Cutie(3), The Adorable Cutie(3)

<_><_><_>

The episode starts with Nimueh summoning her little afanc beast in an egg with a ton of her own marks on it just so everyone knows who did it. Not very smart. It ends with Gaius reiterating the same “you’re an idiot” thing to Merlin, when the real idiot is in fact Morgana, who didn’t hear that Merlin nearly shouted a whole spell in a compact cave with echo. Camelot is the home of the once and future dumbasses.

<_><_><_>

The Magic

The Monsters

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 195 - 191

195. Ilinca ft. Alex Florea - “Yodel it” Romania 2017

[2017 Review here]

Is this a shock boot? Well, “Yodel it” kind of slaps but it’s not without its problems, sadly enough. It’s one of those over-the-top, ridiculous genre fusion entries that sap your fucking soul if overexposed to their overpowering loudness. Fortunately, I didn’t listen to “Yodel it” for over a year, so I’m fully able to embrace it shittasticness. “Yodel it” is a geiser of mirth in a fruity folk/schlager package. It has a silly, but relatable message about burn-outs buried underneath mounds of yodeling and a language that vaguely approximates coalminer’s English <3 It’s not a song that I would listen to on repeat (which is something I greatly care about), but it slaps. However, the best part of this entry has to be dynamic between Alex and Ilinca. You know how the greatest ESC duo’s of our time, such as ZalaGasper and The Common Linnets had amazing onstage chemistry. Illinca and Alex, otoh-

- actually have so little chemistry it circles back into hilariousness .There’s a strong sexual undercurrent here, where it’s clear that Alex is desperately trying to get into Ilinca’s lederhose panties and she is 100% not interesting in doing anything non-platonic with this insectoid creep. This nomance’s glorious conclusion came during Selectia Nationala 2018, the Ilinca-fronted jury mercilessly shived Alex’s song in the heats. True love really runs deep, y’all~

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194. Victor Crone - “Storm” Estonia 2019

MORPH! I’ve actually somewhat warmed to Victor and I don’t feel the least bit sorry!🤭 Naturally, the song is still counterfeit Aviicii material that should be pulverized underneath a hydraulic press. 

However, somewhere between the semifinal and grand final I realized that Victor, the arguably the Whitest Dude in the history of White Dudes (you know the type: handsome dopey face, no discernible personality, offensively inoffensive, leather jacket, guitar, the Lisa Rinna hair, handkerchief hanging from the belt), was middle-aged spinster catnip, resulting in a sudden, hilariously bloated televote score for a song that was ignored on both Youtube and Spotify <3

And I’m, sorry but that’s just hysterical to me. The idea that, out of the myriad of hot guys in this year, the catladies fainted in droves for Victor is beyond hilarious. It’s fucking hysterical. Older women and nobody fucking else.🤣  Did I mention his surname is the poetically appropriate “Crone”? MILK THAT CAREER OF SINGING AT RETIREMENT HOMES, MY SWEET WHITEBREAD PRINCE! MILK IT TO THE LAST NOTE!!!

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193. Moje 3 - “Ljubav je svuda” Serbia 2013

Speaking of catnip, “Ljubav je svuda”’s trinity of campy drama, female-fronted trash and ethnobop is a trap for the unassuming Eurovision-obsessed homosexual. Naturally, upon selection many, myself included, instantly started the pyramid-building and human sacrifices at the altar of Moje 3 and their hilariously literal interpretation of shoulder angels. 🤭 Sadly, for some fucking reason, Serbia decided to dress them like Indonesian fertility demons and it all fell apart as a mildly amusing, but utterly NOT-wigsnatching hot mess. 🙄 Is it unfair to blame NevenaBore for the floppage? Well, considering that Mirna single-handedly carried the song and Sara is a facial expressions goddess...

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192. Anmary - “Beautiful Song” Latvia 2012

Welp I guess I lied when I said I wasn’t cutting Anmary soon, lmfao. 😂 Anmary’s placement on the list appeared a lot further away in the spreadsheet, don’t @ me!!! 

Like Moje 3, Anmary was a force of hilarity upon her selection. NF Beautiful Song is.. a thing of beauty. It’s unfiltered Baltic INSANITY at its peak. Sharing this wonderful caption with you because it’s too iconic to hold back:

Beyond the general cheesy schlager we find on display: crazy eyes, unfathomable hubris, a dress change from an ugly dress into an even uglier dress, terrible ‘English’ (omg the Mick Jagger line, kills me every time. “JAGGERMICK”😂 holy fuck i am deceased. Refering to him as if he’s like.. the antagonist of a Lewis Caroll novel <3) it has the full fusedmarc package!!!

Un-very-fucking-fortunately, Latvia decided to lather Beautiful Song up with the Dettol brush and the end result was... still pretty funny, lol? It served some ~Real Housewives of Daugavpils ~ realness, with its cocktail party-chic aerobics as Anmary’s disaster notes echoed through the void of the Crystal Arena.

However, it was significantly less funny than the original, which is killing for an entry whose entire appeal rests on its hopeless, cheesy incompetence. At least she got a call from the Jaggermick out of it~ ________________________________________________________________

191. SuRie - “Storm” United Kingdom 2018

[2018 Review Here]

Storms don’t last forever, remember~

You’d be inclined to believe that SuRie ranks this high ONLY because of spillover sympathy due to the stage invader and well... that certainly DID factor in my final ranking. Not everyone is able to recover from *that* blatant display of FUCKING ASSHOLERY as unscathed as ms Susanna Marie Cork did. What a inspiring display of professionalism. 

However, by that time I had already warmed to “Storm” itself, whoops! You see, as generic as “Storm” is (are “Storms” the new “Shines”?), SuRie is one of those performers that just has tonnes of natural charisma and manages to brighten any shitty song by her mere presence. 🤗 That she turned that stage invasion into a moment of self-empowerment is only the cherry on top of the sundae. BRING HER BACK BBC!!! She may not be the artist the UK deserve, but it’s artists like her that they need. 

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