#listen they just hit different okay
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I see your “ship so good one of them died” and I raise you
“ship so good one of them killed the other”
#listen they just hit different okay#shinji x kaworu#kawoshin#neon genesis evangelion#lawlight#death note#l x light#ryo x akira#ryokira#devilman crybaby#fukufuku#fukuzawa x fukuchi#bungou stray dogs#arlecchino x clervie#arlevie#genshin impact#spoilers#ambulancie rambles
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coming out as a "Will snores obnoxiously loud" and "Nico breaths so quietly you can barely tell hes alive" truther
#LISTEN OKAY. WILL WORKS CRAZY HOURS. EXHAUSTS HIMSELF PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY#hes going to snore. really loud. as soon as he hits the pillow.#its not uncommon for even people who dont snore! that i know anyways.#happened to family members of mine who dont usually snore#also additionally nico sleeps like a corpse so it works out for both of them#i think personally nico is usually like 3/4's awake but once his body actually lets him rest? out. gone.#sleep deprived x also sleep deprived for different reasons#also on a different note (slightly) i feel like will just grabs nico sometime in the middle of the night like hes his teddy bear#nico is lets himself get dragged into wills arms because he too. is completely and utterly asleep#solangelo#nico di angelo#will solace#the sun and the star#rrverse#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo
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GIVES US A MICHAEL SPRITE SOLMARE YOU COWARDS I WANT TO SEEEE HIM AHHHHHH
He sounds so silly I love him already LET ME GIVE HIM SMOOCHES
#im ready to bark#manifesting for him to have long hair#listen we need ATLEAST ONE obey me man with long hair okay?! they just hit different#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me nightbringer#obmswd#obm nightbringer#obmnb#312005#obey me lucifer#obey me michael#obey me mammon#obey me mc
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RARE PMD W they're releasing Red Rescue Team on the Switch on 8/9!! PMD fans finally get some crumbs let's GOOOOO
#Shima speaks#I have two copies of Blue Rescue Team but having a copy on the Switch is just 👌 MWAH chef's kiss#FINALLY we win something. HUZZAH#Pokemon#PMD#Pokemon Mystery Dungeon#Listen I love the remakes a lot but the originals are just so. They hit DIFFERENT. You know?#Maybe I'll play through it and try to 100% it this time 👀#Okay now Nintendo. You know what to do. RSE on the Switch. Yeah. That's right. RSE. Please. Please. Ple
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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
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I know that default Carver has blue eyes and they're pretty so that's how a lot of fanart/fanfic depict him
but may I present Carver with brown eyes? because-
Carver with pretty brown eyes, y'know??
#carver hawke#dragon age 2#da2#listen i have a weakness for brown eyes okay#and with the way i make my hawke i always end up getting default carver but with brown eyes#default carver's blue eyes are pretty but whenever i see any brown eyed carver fanart it just hits me different#carver hawke with pretty brown eyes alters my brain chemistry#i could write many analyzes about him and his character arc#and other times i'm just like 'look at his face. his face good'
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Osamu Dazai and the Depressing Era
#I have so many thoughts through my mind these days I was barely able to focus on the episode. I kept zoning out#I made barely any post#Okay some thoughts. The thing that really hit me since the first time watching b/sd... Is the–#“I don't kill people because I want to write about lives” “I start doing good because my friend asked me to”#Like I get grey morals and everything but also. Sorry for being so simplistic but I think everyone should do good / not kill people–#because killing people is bad lol. No because of other personal reasons#I really *really* feel b/sd ultimately has a very nihilistic approach to life.#And that when Oda said “You won't find a reason to live whether side you're on. Both sides are the same.” it's not Oda-character talking–#but it's really the author expressing their own worldview through the one character that's the most distinguished#They really think there's no difference between good and bad in their little nihilistic world.#Which is something I personally don't agree with.#“It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it”#......... No it's not you just need to go to the shore and listen to the waves crush and the seagulls squeal dude. It's going to be okay.#That's why it's so easy to portray Dazai as perfect and flawless for the author btw.#Because nothing he ever did in the pm was wrong if “good” and “bad” don't mean anything to begin with.#And this is coming from a deeply relativist person. But I believe even grey morals have a limit.#Thus my general disagreement with most b/sd themes#I don't know why I went off this tangent btw I didn't intend to.#I suppose it bears repeating once in a while where I stand compared to the b/sd themes and my personal interpretation of them#(Even though I acknowledge most people don't agree with such interpretation... )#There were other things regarding the episode I needed to say but I forgot...#One of them was that season 2 Dark Era proves that even amv openings can actually be good if you put enough budget in them#Which makes me even more pissed at the season 3 / season 5 ops#random rambles
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I listened to music instead of sleeping, read a radioapple fanfiction, and then ate so much spaghetti I'm in physical pain
Alright time for bed
#wow I need to get it together I think#Italian food in the morning just hits different#idk why#my sleep schedule is in shambles#it's never going to be fixed either#i've given up#okay I'll probably keep listening to music and just hope I fall asleep I guess#gonna read the newest chapter of osas when I wake up#it's like 10 am
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"I'll burn out..
And slip away.
This is just a part I portray.
You're beautiful..
..Can I hide in you instead?"
#song recs#my favorite band#since i was a kid#a song for every#emotion#every lyric#hits different#song to you#i hope you'll listen#it's okay if not#I'm just tired#Spotify
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Guys I was in the middle of reading fics on FF.net and the site crashed
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personally think florence welch singing about getting drunk and taylor swift singing about getting drunk are 2 v different things
#iykyk#could be wrong I don’t know the ins and outs of Taylor’s personal life but like.#assuming I’m right it just hits with a different weight okay!#so there#that’s MY thoughts on that#the only song I’ve listened to on the album and possibly the only one I will listen to!#i just think she made that song better loll#like added a depth and weight to it that idk would have been there otherwise#sorry xx
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i am so obnoxious over bg3 but like. privately. bcs i'm still urgehafsjsh over how astarion is literally everything to me now and i really adore him but hi: i haven't played bg3. anyway. half-elf + bard maybe!
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sorry. sorry. sorry to be so annoying but ASTARION.....#mr neil did so good voicing him all lines HIT. not a single bad one. oh man#i adore astarion's character from the outermost layers to the innermost i love his development and all the different scenes your choices#can lead to. how different he can be. how dramatic he can be how sarcastic how soft he can be. astarion.#wtf the obsession kicked in late...#bcs okay i learned of bg3 just. around tumblr. and what got me finally the Nudge to get into it was THE NEWS OF THE BEAR ASTARION THING#LMFAO and then i was like Oh Yeah hm maybe astarion will be my favorite (insert my thoughts here)#and then i learned more abt baldur's gate only Then and then got obsessed whooo but very normal#and sometime there my twin also got interested and whooo normally obsessed w bg/3/astarion and then got insanely obsessed#and here i was a few days ago or last week. normal. then all of a sudden i GOT... obsessed.......#astarion has consumed my every waking moment and i'm also in lov w the other characters. gale... karlach... shadowheart... etc...#and astarion has easily become one of my most favorite characters. which is not surprising at ALL#when you consider . every general factor of my favorite characters#+ how the story of how i came to like him is a STORY INDEED to tell ..... and how i got spoiled a bit too on some stuff but thats ok w me...#and my circumstances w my favorite games are real funny (for a lack of a better word) too i realize. oh man.#anyway. astarion. i adore him#it's unfair too i'm in my hozier era fully rn so. brain consumed#me listening to all of hoziers three albums (i adore hozier) and associating so many songs w astarion :/ like work song#idk. astarion reaaaaaally deserves hugs and love and and and i adore him
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Self shipping is always the morally correct thing to do
#Listen to my problems#sometimes self shipping includes the slow and painful process of getting killed over amd over by your f/o thats okay youll get him#eventually. orrr herrrrr (motivational speaker voice).#let me think hm theres been three guys ive loved enough to be this crazy over. self shipping is always correct#if youre not self shipping thats okay but if you want to you should you should draw yourself vivisecting him while hes squealin and giggling#you should write about the two of you biting eavh other until you hit bone you should literally kill him with a knife and them cry over the#body and then bring him back to life and do it again just so you can cry over the body again#you have to grip him by the shoulders and spit in his fave and use all the things he trusted you with against him and you have to make him#hate you you have to make him unable to forgive you then you have to make him forgive you then you have to apologise to him#and then. ohh and then you hit him with all that shit again but make sure you quick save before that because he might not forgive you again#you need to make him swallow pennies before getting into the mri machine and you need yo tell him that itll be okay smd you both know hes#going to explode but he does it anyway because he knows youre going to bring him back and he fucking loves it he wants to do it#oh he doesnt just love it hes addicted to it he wants it to happen and youll make it happen for him youll force it to happen even if hes#begging you not to do it again you can make him do anything you want. you can make him hate you if you want. if thats what he likes. you can#do it for him and you can do it for yourself and you can do it even if you both dont want it to happen you can make him get on his knees and#beg and then you can do it anyway and you can make him so angry that he hurts you right back and you can let him end it and after that you#can do it all over again if you really wanted to ... anyway you self ship to scratch an itch i self ship to scratch an itch everybody wants#different things out of the fiction they consume .. we should get more character reacts when you say youre pregnant but kiryu would be like#um. (blushes) wait is it mine ? <- and you can tell him anything and he’d have to believe it#god i need to go to bed ... wish i was playing yakuza rn ......
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i hate that my brain is like this. i hate that it does this to me. i see so many people for whom their sexuality is a source of pride and community and finding their sexuality opens a whole new world to them and they become open and confident people who are more themselves than ever before. and that's amazing! i am so happy for those people!! but it has never been that for me and i despise myself for that.
#i want so badly to say 'I AM [insert sexuality here]' 'IM OUT AND IM PROUD!'#i want to find local community and go to the gay bars#and meet people and make friends and kiss girls and all these things i see online or in fanfic#(listen i have been reading a huge amount of griddlehark and there is a lot of modern aus that i desperately desire)#but my brain thinks i am lying about all of it and whenever i say no i'm not lying it sets about convincing me i am#i think about women and it instantly goes okay but men though. what if you thought about them instead#and then it's all i can think of even though i don't want to#i think about dating a woman and it says actually. think about dating a man#i say i don't want men and it says that's rude and mean and you never know what could happen#and you don't believe there is some magical difference between men and women they are all just people so you are a hypocrite#if you leave men out and honestly you don't find men repulsive and there have been men you thought were attractive even if you can't figure#out of it was attractive like sex or attractive like marble statues#and you say you like body hair on women but it weirds you out on men but it's the exact same thing so you have to like it on both#and you read so much mlm fic and so little wlw so you think men are hot cause you've thought some of the mlm stuff was hot#so obviously you want to have sex with men#even if all the men who have actually hit on you irl made you uncomfortable#you didn't actually stop it from happening and honestly you really wanted it to happen and you just wanted them to force it on you#cause you are a evil gross freak who fetishizes#nevermind. this is spiraling.#and is just turning into a way for me to hurt myself more with this
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i hate tumblr new format. alsooo whatd i miss
#listen my tumblr writing voice is disappearing since all i post are instagram CFs.#alas whats#errr i went to ecuador over the summer and holy i love cocktails#i got drunk for the first time and the next date went hungover to a diff date and then got into a relationship but i broke up with him like#two days ago#IB Y2 is effectively killing me and the last thing i needed was someoen that drained me#also i found an argentine show called rebelde way from the 2000 s#go di need to rant about it i feel so strongly like i just im so frustrated school is so much and i am bf-less (for the better) and#i turn 18 soon and i start college next sept and im gonna major in math and OH BUT i dont want to be alone i hate being alone oh oh oh#bu the show is so good but my deadlines are so heavy but the show but pablo and marizza#IB took over sm of my life like yeah i let it consume me but oh god oh oh oh#i hadnt had a legit interest or show i liked bc i know i get deranged about them#godd im also one of the only 2 girls left in the program#and i need to hit the gym bc like. grad is soon and why are boys in my school so mean#in ecuador this isnt a thing like friendships are sm closer in ecuador and dynamics are so different and oh i yearn to be with tehm i reall#do but the country is like not okay and i had a kidnapping scare but oh oh oh to feel loved by the people around you#anyways what else#sorry i disappeared fellas
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how did showaddywaddy make its way to #4 on my long term top bands already, what
#me#i mean i guess i've been listening to one or two of their songs for quite a while before i posted about them#in a mix playlist#was it two? three maybe. no. it started with one and then later on i found another one. i can't remember if there was a third after that#wait yes there was#and i couldn't stop listening to it on repeat. okay yes now i remember i have been listening to them more than i thought#for longer than i thought i mean#i forgot because the third one i found at the time is so different from their popular hits#but#i just only recently started digging into them more#and loving literally everything#it really does always start with being addicted to the music first before i know anything about the band doesn't it#my long term top tracks are nothing but iron maiden and bruce and sweet and showaddywaddy#and one secret service song#and the funny part is that i MOSTLY listen to showaddywaddy through youtube because of the videos soooo spotify doesn't know that#i wonder what it would be like if it logged that into my spotify stats too
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