#listen my head is full of THOUGHTS
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A Plebian's Review of the Last Voyage of the Demeter
I don't do reviews normally but I have many thoughts I wanted to share after recently watching this movie. In general, I did enjoy this movie and I thought it was a fun watch. As someone who read Dracula and enjoys most modern Dracula stories I would watch it again if it came on. (6/10)
Non-spoilers:
It took some liberties with the source material. Combine the recent Poirot movies with modern vampire lore and that's what you should expect, not something strictly adhering to the novel. Not necessarily a bad thing, but if you're enjoying dracula daily just know this isn't really that.
On that note, Dracula bibliophiles aside, it's a pretty good movie on its own. It's suited for modern audiences and won't confuse them with Stoker's vampire lore (ex. what can and can't kill a vampire, what powers Dracula has).
It had pretty gory moments that you may not be prepared for if slasher movies aren't something you watch. Also, check out doesthedogdie bc there are a lot of potential triggers.
The lighting for this movie was really good imo. There was a strong contrast between day and night which awesome, but you could also still actually see what was going on in the dark. There were a couple times when Dracula was in a shadow and you couldn't really see him but it was for effect as opposed to trying to be "realistic" (looking at you, GOT).
The design for Dracula was cool and they do play into him getting stronger and scarier as he continuously feeds.
The Captain is not the main character (in contrast to the source material's Captain's log). Here, it's Dr Clemens we follow and we get an occasional Caltain's narration from the log.
If you like Until Dawn and other titles from Supermassive Games, you'd probably enjoy it. Dracula's design, the kills, and character choices feel like you're watching a playthrough. Not to mention there are a lot of close-up shots of characters in the same way Supermassive Games does.
Spoilers under the cut:
The Good:
The cinematography was pretty good. I particularly liked shots that followed through the ship to the cargo hold where count bat boi was sleeping.
They also filmed the gory scenes really well, and one scene that stood out was when one person who's become a thrall bashes his head through a door and then slides his nose along the splintered panels as he looks up. Impactful to say the least. They didn't pan away and leave it up to our imaginations but went all in and I applaud it.
Things were recognizable from the novel (names, events, some vampire mythos). I was genuinely surprised that they marked Dracula's coffins with dragons and kept that he slept in dirt, since modern audiences probably wouldn't have known about these things. When we (modern audiences) hear "Dracula" we think it means "vampire" as opposed to "dragon", and we would likely expect Dracula's cargo to be velvet-lined coffins.
The opening scene (finding the ship at Whitby & the wagon train of the coffins) had me immediately invested and excited, and I was already looking forward to this movie (I chose it over Barbie lol).
The Captain's actor was phenomenal. He went all out when he was grieving Toby's death and he really didn't have to but I'm so glad he did. While the character itself wasn't consistent, the actor made it believable. He was strict and kind when he was sane, he was frantic and distraught when he was insane, and his moments of grief and hope were all palpable. Good choice.
"Oh my God it has wings" When I say I LAUGHED SO HARD
Honestly there were a lot of funny moments. Some were genuine to cut the tension and help build characters but being ND and desensitized to horror I don't know if I was supposed to laugh at some of them, like when the cook's dingy knocked against the side of the hull. And when vampire Toby jumped up.
The use of knocking was a cool addition. I enjoyed when they used it like when Toby was in trouble and when Dracula was messing with the two dudes on deck.
One of the key things of Dracula's personality is that yes - he can kill you in 10s - but he won't because he's a sadistic bastard that enjoys drawing it out and playing the wager to see if you'll die of fear before he can bite you. They absolutely captured it. Homie is purposeful in how he terrifies his victims before giving them a gruesome death.
I think the model ship they showed at the end was the original model ship for the Demeter in the 90's Dracula movie (or at least a nod to it), which is how this movie was started apparently. Nice touch.
The Grievances:
Dr Clemens was a mary sue. I'm sorry, there's no way around this. Man has bad main character syndrome. I can accept a black man fighting tooth and nail to graduate Cambridge top of his class and struggle in a world that won't see his abilities because they won't look past his skin color, but on top of that he's an astronomer, a sailer, a strategist, a detective, and everyone immediately falls in love with him? Hell, he cured Toby's [1] grief over losing his lifelong friend (Huck, the dog, who was MUTILATED) and [2] guilt for all the animals dying because it was his responsibility to take care of him, and [3] fear for whatever unknown thing did this, with a headpat and "sometimes shit happens and you can't do anything about it".
He took one look at Anna, Dracula's beef jerky ration, and immediately went "she has an infection, she needs a blood transfusion", then proceeded to give her repeated transfusions over several days and he was totally fine. Up running around and fighting vampires meanwhile in reality he would have been bedridden from lack of blood and possible complications from the procedures.
Also, why is he the only clean person? Everyone's covered in grime and blood and dude looks like he just walked out of a proactive commercial. Even when he's floating in the middle of the ocean for days with an open neck wound he looks like he was just in the shower. Compare it with the Captain's burns and the first thrall's face after banging the through a door and the dissonance just pulls me out of the movie.
Keeping him alive just to sequel bait. Just. Why. Hollywood, it's okay to kill your protagonist. 1912 did it really well. Plus, I personally wasn't invested enough in this character to want to see a sequel following his vendetta with Dracula. We already know about Jonathan and Van Helsing. You can make movies that stand alone. It's okay.
If you want to sequel bait why don't you have him delirious from being lost at sea for several days and end up at the asylum with Dr Seward and Renfield? That would actually be cool and you could still have Dracula show up to taunt him.
Also, in regards to Anna, while I think it was a cool idea to use her for lore dumping and as a surprise for the audience, I was disappointed with her. She had the potential to provide a lot of info and help fight Dracula but instead she had to be the "strong independent woman". I don't hate this trope (think about Ripley in Alien, or any of the women in the original novel) but it wasn't done well here. While it's cool to see her gain confidence and wield a gun against count bat boi I was really hoping she would provide more info like his weaknesses. She says "he ran out of food in my country" but we know this isn't *literally* true because we see people at the beginning. It's the fact her people knew how to keep Dracula away that he ran out of food and he decided to try greener pastures. You could bring up HOW they did that (religious tokens, garlic, silver, etc.).
Also when she does try to give info about Dracula it's still vague and meant to be mysterious. Bruh, you are locked on a boat with this monster and you know your only hope for survival is to flee or work together to get rid of him. Why are you not giving as much info and details as possible? Because that's what the script said bc the writers wanted to make dracula look cool by relying on the characters to say it? Okay.
This movie relies on a lot of telling instead of showing. It's like they don't trust their audience to pay attention or understand what's going on. The only time I legit felt they showed and not told (lol) was when the Captain asked if what happened to the animals could be transmitted to humans and Dr Clemens lied and said no. You could see in the actor's face the inner monologue of telling the truth vs preventing chaos. It was nice and gave more info about the character than him actually yelling his life history at the first mate.
It also suffers from the writers trying to make every scene be memorable. There are too many times characters say things because it sounds cool or would be good in the trailer rather than because it makes sense for the character to say that.
Honestly all the characters fall flat for me (besides the captain who's character is treated like a pinball). They're all archetypes rather than people. The protagonist. The independent woman. The racist drunkard. The child. The religious guy. The guy that makes obscene jokes. The only names I know are Toby, Dr Clemens, and Anna. Bc they get said a lot as opposed to me actually caring about them.
On that note, I am definitely biased because I loved the Captain's log from the novel, but I wish that this was from the Captain's pov, culminating in him tying himself to the wheel and dying from shock or exposure like in the book. Then Whitby.
On that note, I am still upset that they used modern vampire mythos yet again for Dracula. In the book the Captain dies after being taunted for days by Dracula after tying himself to the wheel, only possible because the rosary in his hand protects him. It's a noble but horrific sacrifice made of fear and a duty to not let the evil on the ship reach land. In this movie, however, he reaches the wheel and dies because the rosary has no power over Dracula (it's also how Toby dies).
Oh, also the sun kills vampires. How do we know? Because occasionally some people turn into vampires, but only when it's convenient for the plot (looking at you, Anna). Why don't they use this against Dracula and dump the dirt box they know he's sleeping in during the day? Who knows. But they wasted a lot of potential to play on the audience's expectations (rather than giving into them) by using Dracula during the day. Y'know what's scarier than a vampire picking off your crew at night? A vampire picking off your crew at ANY time when you only expect it at night because SURPRISE sunlight just doesn't let him crawl in lizard fashion.
Are you seriously telling me Dracula sustained himself off of Anna for several weeks, and then decided to slaughter the crew mere days before the boat docked? Yes, he was weak bc of it but I don't think the director knows how blood works (see Dr Clemens's transfusion issue). Also, if that's the case, how did Anna not suffocate in her dirt box for hours on end for weeks? Just fill the other 48 crates with dead people and say Anna was the last caprisun in the box and it would make more sense.
Also, why have their last hurrah be the day before they reach Whitby? It made the movie seem too fast; it felt like it only took a week to get from Transylvania to England. Why not find Anna early on, then disperse the crew member deaths across a couple weeks like in the novel? It would help with the suspense and you could have the Captain tie himself to the wheel then let us experience the time passing after he dies so the audience has a moment to sit with the deaths and feel hopeless. Bc that's what the role of the Demeter is, story-wise. It's supposed to make us afraid of Dracula and feel hopeless in his presence. Not give us hope and make him into our rival we have the possibility to get revenge on. That's what our dear friend Jonathan is for.
Dracula never takes human form. Why do all adaptations refuse to give him his bushy mustache? COWARDS.
Okay, he *sort of* takes human form. But they really just put him in a waistcoat and top hat then expected us to believe that showed he was cunning. You literally said he's both man and beast then only show the beast. One of Dracula's main appeal is that he's clever and his sadistically human traits are the only thing preventing him from immediately ripping you to shreds. And he can pass as human, so he could be anyone. Yet we only see the beast part.
While this movie was fun to watch, it comes off more as a gruesome drama or action movie than a horror. I never really feel any suspense or dread. Compare it to Alien which had the same situation. Alien did such a good job of making you feel scared and claustrophobic when you're surrounded by the vastness of space (in this case, the ocean) and being hunted down by an intelligent monster. I was watching this to see how Dracula killed people rather than seeing how they struggled to survive.
I can believe this movie was in production hell not just because of the writing but some errors. In one scene, the Captain's burn is on the right side of his face but there's a close-up cut and suddenly it's on the left side like someone flipped the screen. And this is just one error out of a couple. No Starbucks cups tho.
It sounds like I don't like this movie because of all of my nit-picking grievances, but I really did like it. I think my issues are just because my expectations were too high going in. I was expecting a loyal expansion of an underappreciated segment of a classic novel, which is really rare these days. And a *suspenseful* horror.
I see why Guillermo del Toro and Stephen King suggested it. It's pretty similar to their stuff, just more fast-paced. So if you like that stuff and Until Dawn I think you'll really enjoy it.
#last voyage of the demeter#dracula#dracula daily#the last voyage of the demeter#movie review#horror#horror movies#re: dracula#yes this is a rant#listen my head is full of THOUGHTS
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FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#phone guy#fnaf 1#sister location#fnaf fanart#HOLY SHIT PHONE GUY MENTIONED AGAIN 🔥🔥#NOW WITH A FULL HUMAN DESIGN ☎️#listen I know I’ll never beat his object head form#BUT I wanted to take at least one stab at making him a design!#my thought process I based him off William and Bob the security guard from the movie!#those two basically gives off the general idea I thought phone guy looked like#made sure to give him red all over his design too to match the phone head deal 🙏🏾#SO YEAH in retrospect phone guy saying this TO MICHAEL is crazy#you think Michael just sat there like 😐#Michael straight up had an endo shoved into him and he was wore like a suit 💀#PHONE GUY definitely didn’t know but yeesh hit close to home there#I REALLY hope yall like PG design!!#I’ll probably tweak it a lil if I do draw it again#now phone guy phone dude and tape girl all have human designs let’s go!! 🩵🩵
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i just think that jason is the most unreliable narrator ever especially when talking about his robin years
#its much easier for him to say shit like 'i was a mean kid who died bc i didnt listen'#than to say 'i was a hurt kid full of love and had people that loved me but none of that changed anything in the end'#sorry ive got thoughts in my head and i cant put them into words#jason todd#dc
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The role of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual in the characterisation, symbolism, and themes of Wolf 359
TL;DR: The DSSPPM is used as a tool to help establish and develop Minkowski and Eiffel as characters: Minkowski as a strict Commander who clings to the certainty provided by a rigid source of authority like the DSSPPM, and Eiffel as the anti-authority slacker who strongly objects to the idea that he ought to read the manual. The way their contrasting attitudes towards the DSSPPM manifest through the show reflect their character development and changing dynamic. The DSSPPM can be directly used against the protagonists by those with power over them, and the reveal of its authorship gives a particularly sinister edge to its regular presence in the show. But it can be also be repurposed and seen through an individual interpersonal lens.
Note: There’s plenty that you could say about the DSSPPM through the lens of what it says about Goddard Futuristics as an organisation, or about Pryce and Cutter as people. Or you could talk about Lambert quoting the DSSPPM an absurd number of times in Change of Mind, and Lovelace’s reactions to this. But in this essay, I’ll be analysing on mentions of the DSSPPM with a focus on Minkowski, Eiffel, and their dynamic.
“One of those mandatory mission training things”: the DSSPPM as a tool to establish characterisation
The first mention of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual (the DSSPPM) in Wolf 359 is also the very first interaction we hear Eiffel and Minkowski have. In fact, the first time we hear Minkowski's voice at all is her telling Eiffel off for not having read the manual:
[Ep1 Succulent Rat-Killing Tar] MINKOWSKI Eiffel, did you read your copy of Pryce and Carter? EIFFEL My copy of what? MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual. EIFFEL Was that one of those mandatory mission training things? MINKOWSKI Yes. EIFFEL In that case, yes, I definitely did. MINKOWSKI Did you now? Because I happened to find your copy of the D.S.S.P.P.M. floating in the observation deck. EIFFEL Oh? MINKOWSKI Still in its plastic wrapping.
This is an effective way to establish their conflicting personalities right out of the gate. Minkowski's determination to "do things by the book - this book in fact" contrasts clearly with Eiffel's professed ignorance about and clear disregard for "this... Jimmy Carter thing”. Purely through their attitudes to this one book, they slot easily into clear archetypes which inevitably clash. Everything about Eiffel in that opening episode sets him up as a slacker who doesn't care about authority, but the image of his mandatory mission training manual floating in the observation deck "still in its plastic wrapping" provides a particularly striking illustration.
By contrast, we immediately encounter Minkowski as a strict leader who cares deeply about making sure everything is done according to protocol; the intense importance she places on the DSSPPM is one of the very first things we know about her. Her insistence on the importance of the survival manual might seem somewhat understandable at first, if perhaps unhelpfully aggressive, but it starts to feel less sensible as soon as we start to hear some of the tips from this manual:
Deep Space Survival Tip Number Five: Remain positive at all times. Maintain a cheerful attitude even in the face of adversity. Remember: when you are smiling the whole world smiles with you, but when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action.
The strange, controlling, vaguely sinister tone of some of the tips we hear in the first episode is largely played for laughs, emphasised by the exaggeratedly upbeat manner in which Hera reads them. But even these first few tips give us some initial suggestions that the powers behind this mission might not care all that much about the wellbeing of their crew members.
It says something about Minkowski that she places such faith and importance in a book which says things like "Failing to remain calm, could result in your grisly, gruesome death" and "when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action." (Foreshadowing the Hephaestus Station as the home of immense emotional repression and compartmentalising...) Having those kind of pressures and demands placed on her (and those around her) by people above her in the military hierarchy doesn’t unsettle Minkowski.
Eiffel groans and sighs as he listens to the tips, but Minkowski seems to see this manual as an essential source of wisdom. The main role the manual plays in this episode is to establish Minkowski and Eiffel as contrasting characters with very different approaches to authority and therefore a potential to clash.
When Minkowski demands that Eiffel reads the DSSPPM, he decides to get Hera to read it to him, asking her to keep this as “a 'just the two of us, totally secret, never tell Commander Minkowski' thing”. Eiffel seems convinced that Minkowski won't be happy with him listening to Hera read the DSSPPM rather than reading it himself. This suggests that (at least in Eiffel's interpretation) Minkowski’s orders are not just about her wanting him to know the contents of the manual, since this could theoretically be accomplished just as well by him listening to it. But she wants him to do things in what she’s deemed to be the correct way, to put in the right amount of effort, and not to take what she might see as a shortcut. It’s not just about the contents of the manual; it’s about the commitment to protocol that reading it represents.
“When in doubt: whip it out”: Hilbert’s use of the DSSPPM
In Season 1, the DSSPPM isn't purely associated with Minkowski. Hilbert actually quotes it more than she does in the first few episodes. In Ep2 Little Revolución, Hilbert's response to Eiffel's toothpaste protest is inspired by "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.”" This tip is absurd in a more direct obvious way than those we heard in Ep1. While this absurdity is partly for humour, it also casts further doubt on the usefulness of this supposedly authoritative survival manual, and therefore on the wisdom of trusting Command.
In Ep4 Cataracts and Hurricanoes, Hilbert starts to quote Tip #4 at Eiffel, who protests "I'm not gonna have one of the last things I hear be some crap from the survival manual". These moments again place Eiffel in clear opposition to the DSSPPM, but also suggest that Hilbert's attitude towards the DSSPPM - and therefore towards Command - is closer to Minkowski's than to Eiffel's.
When Hilbert turns on the Hephaestus crew in his Christmas mutiny, his allegiance to Command is revealed as dangerous. And here the DSSPPM comes up again. As Minkowski dissolves the door between her and Hilbert, she triumphantly echoes his own words back to him: "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.” Never. Fails." This provides a callback to a previous, more comedic conflict on the Hephaestus, and reminds the listener of a time when Minkowski and Hilbert were working together against Eiffel, in contrast to the current situation of Minkowski and Eiffel versus Hilbert. But it also shows that Minkowski, like Hilbert, is capable of using some of the more absurd DSSPPM tips to defeat an adversary. And it shows Minkowski leaning on those tips in a real moment of crisis.
Once Hilbert has betrayed the crew in order to follow orders from Command, we might look back on his quoting of the DSSPPM as casting the manual in a more sinister light, and again calling into question the wisdom of Minkowski placing such trust in it.
“It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it”: the DSSPPM as an indicator of a changing dynamic
The next mention of the DSSPPM is in Ep17 Bach to the Future:
MINKOWSKI Eiffel's been spot-testing me, Hera. He doesn't believe that I've memorized all of the survival tips in Pryce and Carter. EIFFEL It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it. I keep hoping to discover it's not true. MINKOWSKI Well, believe as little as you want, doesn't change the fact that I do know them. And so should you!
I think this provides an interesting illustration of the way in which Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic has developed since Ep1. They still have deeply contrasting attitudes to the DSSPPM, but this contrast is now a source of entertainment between them, rather than merely of conflict.
Given that Hera wasn’t aware of Eiffel testing Minkowski on the tips, we can guess that it’s a game they came up with while Hera was offline. In the midst of all the exhaustion and uncertainty and fear they were dealing with after Hilbert’s mutiny, this was a way they found to pass the time. It must have been Eiffel who suggested it; Minkowski cites his disbelief as the reason for the spot-testing. And yet she plays along, responding each time, even though this activity has no real productive value.
Minkowski is keen to demonstrate that she does know the tips and she emphasises that Eiffel ought to know them too, but their interactions about the DSSPPM in this episode have none of the genuine irritation and frustration that they displayed in Ep1. It feels almost playful and teasing. Eiffel still thinks Minkowski is "completely insane" for learning all the tips and is "disgusted" by her commitment to memorising them, but these comments feel much closer to joking about a friend's weird traits than to insulting a hated coworker's personality. It feels like something has shifted since Eiffel responded to Minkowski’s passion for the DSSPPM by saying “I'm so glad that your shrivelled husk of a dictator's heart is as warm as a decompression chamber”.
Another thing to note here is that Minkowski's respect for the DSSPPM has clearly survived Hilbert's Christmas mutiny and Minkowski's resulting distrust of Command. From Hilbert's behaviour at Christmas, it's clear that the crew's survival is not at the top of Command's priority list. But Minkowski still trusts the book that Command told her to read. She still thinks Eiffel should read it too. The main figures of authority above her are dangerous and untrustworthy, but she still clings to the source of guidance they provided her with.
It's also worth noting that Minkowski has not just learnt the advice in each of the 1001 tips, but she has memorised (nearly) all of them by number. If it was just about the information that the manual provides to inform responses to potentially life-or-death situations, then knowing the numbers wouldn't be necessary. Nor would it be particularly useful to know them all exactly word-for-word. Minkowski's reliance on the DSSPPM is again suggested to be about more than the potential practical use of its content. It's about showing that she is committed and disciplined and up to the task of leading. She does have some awareness of the strangeness of many of the tips, but this doesn't diminish the value of her adherence to the manual for her:
EIFFEL You're insane. MINKOWSKI I'm disciplined. Although I will admit they do get more... esoteric as you go higher up the list.
There's only one tip Minkowski doesn't seem to remember, and that's revealing too:
EIFFEL 555? Minkowski DRAWS BREATH - and STOPS SHORT. [...] MINKOWSKI Hold on a second, I know this. (beat) Dammit. EIFFEL Hey, look at that! Looks like there may be hope for you yet. MINKOWSKI Quiet, Eiffel. Hera, what's D.S.S.P.P.M. 555? HERA "Good communication habits are key to continued subsistence. Be in touch with other crew members about shipboard activities. Interfacing about possible problems or dangers is the best way to anticipate and prevent them." This hangs in the air for a second. Then – EIFFEL So you forget the one tip in the entire manual that's actually helpful? MINKOWSKI Shut up.
Communication is a key theme of this show, so it’s interesting that this is the one tip Minkowski can’t remember, perhaps indicating an aspect of leadership and teamwork that she doesn’t always prioritise or find easy.
Eiffel saying “Looks like there may be hope for you yet” seems like just a throwaway teasing line, but it’s got a profound edge to it. A lot of Minkowski’s arc is about learning how to provide her own direction and support her crew outside of the systems of authority and hierarchy that she’s grown so attached to. So perhaps Eiffel is right to see a kind of hope in her failure to remember every single DSSPPM tip – she has the potential to break free of her reliance on external authority.
“Which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?”: the DSSPPM in interactions with Cutter
The Wolf 359 liveshow, Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol, is literally named after the manual. This suggests, before we’ve even heard/watched the episode, that the DSSPPM will be a key symbol here. Which is interesting because I'd say the liveshow has two main plot points: (a) Eiffel's failure to read the DSSPPM or follow orders in general, the resulting disruption to the mission, and his crewmates' frustration with this; and (b) the looming threat of Cutter, the necessity of keeping information from Command, and the risk of fatal mission termination.
Even without the knowledge that Cutter is one of the co-authors of the DSSPPM (which neither the Hephaestus crew nor a first-time listener knows at this point), there's a kind of irony in the contrast between these two plotlines. On the one hand, Minkowski repeatedly berates Eiffel for not having read Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, which was made mandatory by Command. On the other hand, she is aware that Command in general - and Cutter specifically - represents the biggest threat to the safety and survival of her crew.
Cutter uses the DSSPPM against each of the Hephaestus crew in their one-on-one conversations with him. For Minkowski, he uses it as a way of emphasising the expectations and responsibility placed on her:
MINKOWSKI There are always gaps between expectation and reality, but-- CUTTER But it's our job as leaders to close that gap, isn't it? Pryce and Carter...? MINKOWSKI 414, yes. Yes, sir, I know.
Cutter knows that Minkowski will know those tips and he knows abiding by them is important to her. She's quick to demonstrate her knowledge of the DSSPPM and agree with the tip. There's something deeply sinister to me about Cutter's use of the word 'our' here. His phrasing includes them both as leaders who should be ensuring that things are exactly as expected. It’s almost a kind of flattery at her authority, but it comes with impossibly high expectations. This way of emphasising the importance and responsibilities of her role as Commander is a targeted strategy by Cutter at manipulating Minkowski, designed to appeal to her values.
In Hera's one-on-one, Cutter uses a DSSPPM tip to interpret her behaviour and claim that he can read her motives:
CUTTER This thing you're doing. Asking questions while you get your bearings. HERA Sir, I'm just curious about-- CUTTER Pryce and Carter 588: Shows of courtesy and polite queries are an efficient way to gain time necessary to strategize.
Unlike with Minkowski (or Eiffel), Cutter doesn't prompt Hera to demonstrate her knowledge of the manual. That wouldn't work as a power play against Hera, who would be able to recall the manual (or, rather, retrieve the file, however that distinction works within her memory) but who doesn't care about the DSSPPM like Minkowski does. Instead, Cutter implies that Hera’s behaviour can be predicted - or at the very least seen through - by the DSSPPM, which seems like a cruel attempt by Cutter at belittling her.
For Eiffel, Cutter uses the manual as a weapon in a different way again. He asks Eiffel, "which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?", something which Eiffel clearly doesn't know, but Cutter of course does. This puts Eiffel on the back foot, trying to defend and justify himself, allowing Cutter to emphasise his position of power yet again.
The DSSPPM plays a double role in the liveshow. On the one hand, as Minkowski reminds Eiffel, proper knowledge of the manual "would've saved [the crew] from these problems with the nav computer" – some of the tips can potentially save the crew a great deal of hassle, stress, and risk. On the other hand, the same manual is used by Cutter to manipulate, unsettle, and intimidate the crew. There are these two sides to the information given to the crew by Command - two sides to the manual which Minkowski still values.
In another duality for the DSSPM, the manual is sometimes used as a symbol of the relationship between the crew members and Command, and sometimes used to indicate the dynamics between the individual crew members, usually Minkowski and Eiffel. Before Cutter’s appearance in the liveshow, Minkowski and Eiffel’s discussions of the DSSPPM reflect interpersonal disagreements between two people with fundamentally different attitudes:
MINKOWSKI Oh come on, why do you think I keep trying to get you to go over these things? Do you think I enjoy going through them? EIFFEL Yes. MINKOWSKI Well, alright, I do. But this knowledge could save your life.
Minkowski enjoys rules, regulations, and certainty, for their own sake as much as for any practical usefulness. Eiffel very much does not. This is a simple clash of individuals, in which the link between the DSSPPM and Command is implicit. Minkowski doesn't seem to question the idea that the information in the DSSPPM is potentially life-saving, even though she knows Command don't care about their lives. But Cutter’s repeated references to the DSSPPM remind us who made that book a mandatory part of mission training – it certainly wasn’t Minkowski, even if she’s often the one attempting to enforce this rule.
At the end of the liveshow, in a desperate attempt to prevent mission termination, Eiffel promises Cutter that he will read the DSSPPM (the liveshow transcript notes that him saying this is "like pulling teeth"), an instance of the manual being used in negotiations between the Hephaestus crew and Command. All Minkowski’s orders weren’t enough to get Eiffel to read that book, but a genuine life-or-death threat might just about be enough. Perhaps it's ironic that Eiffel reads the survival manual out of a desire for survival, not because he thinks the contents of the book will help him survive, but because he’s grasping anything he can offer to buy the crew’s survival from those who created that same book.
In the final scene of the liveshow, Minkowski catches Eiffel reading the DSSPPM, and he fumbles to hide that he's been reading it, a humorous reversal of all the times that he's lied to her that he has read it. Perhaps admitting that he's reading it would be like letting Minkowski win. Minkowski seems to find both surprise and amusement in seeing Eiffel finally reading the manual, but she doesn't push him to admit it. There's some slightly smug but still friendly teasing in the way Minkowski says "were you now?" when Eiffel says that he was just reading something useful. In that final scene, the manual is viewed again through the lens of Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic – Command’s relation to the DSSPPM becomes secondary.
“The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one”: the DSSPPM as a tool of survival
In Ep30 Mayday, when Eiffel is stranded alone on Lovelace’s shuttle, he hallucinates Minkowski to bring him out of his helpless panic and force him into action. And this hallucination also brings with it one of Minkowski’s interests:
MINKOWSKI Eiffel... I worked on this shuttle. Reprogramming that console. EIFFEL So? How does that help – MINKOWSKI Think about it. BEAT. And then he gets it. EIFFEL Oh goddammit. MINKOWSKI What's the first thing that I would do when programming a flight computer? The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one? EIFFEL Pyrce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual.
Again, a conversation about the DSSPPM gives us an indication of the development of Minkowski and Eiffel’s relationship. Not only does Eiffel imagine Minkowski as a figure of (fairly aggressive) support when he’s stranded and alone, he thinks about what advice she’d give him and he follows it. Rather than dismissing the manual entirely, he looks for tips that are relevant to his situation. He’s not pleased about his hallucinated-Minkowski trying to get him to read the DSSPPM, but that was what his mind gave him in an almost hopeless situation. Some part of him now empathises with Minkowski’s priorities in a way that he definitely wasn’t doing in Ep1. He thinks that the DSSPPM might be on the shuttle because he knows the manual is important to Minkowski. It’s by imagining Minkowski that he gets himself to read the manual in order to see if it can help him survive – he certainly doesn’t think about what Cutter or anyone else from Command would tell him to do.
In the end, the tips Eiffel picks out aren’t all that helpful or informative: “Confront reality head-on”; “In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal. Then take stock again. Restock. Repurpose. Reuse. Recycle."; and “"In times of trouble, an idle mind is your worst enemy”. But Eiffel does use these tips to structure his initial thinking about how to survive on Lovelace’s shuttle. In an almost entirely hopeless situation, Eiffel finds some value in the DSSPPM. But since the tips he picks out are mostly platitudes, the actual wisdom that allows him to survive all comes from his own mind; the tips, like his hallucinations, are just a tool he uses to externalise his process of figuring out what to do.
“Wasn't there something about this in the survival manual?”: Minkowski potentially moving away from the DSSPPM
Given the significance of the DSSPPM in Season 1 and 2 to Minkowski in particular, it feels notable when the manual isn’t referenced. Unless I've missed something (and please let me know if I have), Minkowski – the real one, not Eiffel’s hallucination - doesn't bring up the manual of her own accord at all in Seasons 3 or 4. This might make us wonder if she’s moved away from her trust in and reliance on that book provided by Command.
Perhaps the arrival of the SI-5, which highlights to Minkowski that the chain of command is not a good indicator of trustworthy authority, was the final straw. Or perhaps the apparent loss of Eiffel - and any subsequent questioning of her leadership approach, or realisations about the valuable perspective Eiffel provided - were what finally broke down her faith in that book.
Alternatively, perhaps Minkowski still trusts the DSSPPM as much as ever, but trying to get Eiffel or any of the other crew members to listen to it is a losing battle that she no longer sees as a priority. Either way, Minkowski’s apparent reluctance to bring up the DSSPPM feels like a shift in her approach.
The associations between Minkowski and the DSSPPM are still there in Season 3, but they are raised by other characters, not by Minkowski herself. The manual is used to emphasise Eiffel’s difficulties when he’s put in charge of trying to get Maxwell and Hera to fill out a survey in Ep32 Controlled Demolition. Trying to force other people to be productive pushes Eiffel into some very uncharacteristic behaviour:
EIFFEL Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? It's like you've never even read Pryce and Carter! Tip #490 very clearly states that – He trails off. After a BEAT – HERA Officer Eiffel? MAXWELL You, uh, all right there? EIFFEL (the horror) What have I become? [...] Eiffel, now wrapped up in a blanket, is next to Lovelace. He is still very clearly shaken. EIFFEL ... and... it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I was slowly transforming into Commander Minkowski. [...] It was a nightmare! A terrifying, bureaucratic nightmare!
This is a funny role reversal, but it shows us the strength of Eiffel’s association between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, as well his extreme aversion to finding himself in a strict bureaucratic leadership position. It also suggests that becoming extremely frustrated when trying to get other people to do what you want might make anyone resort to relying on an external source of authority, such as the manual. I don’t know whether this experience helps Eiffel empathise with Minkowski, but perhaps it might give us some insight into how her need for authority and control in the leadership role she occupied might have reinforced her deference to the DSSPPM.
In Ep34, we get a suggestion of another character having a strong association between the DSSPPM and Minkowski. After the discovery of Funzo, Hera asks Minkowski what the manual says about it:
HERA Umm... I don't know if this is a good idea. Lieutenant, wasn't there something about this in the survival manual? MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter 792: Of all the dangers that you will face in the void of space, nothing compares to the existential terror that is Funzo.
It’s interesting to me that Hera asks Minkowski here. We know from Ep1 that “Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual is among the files [Hera has] access to”. Two possible reasons occur to me for why Hera might ask Minkowski about the DSSPPM tip here. One possibility is that Hera thinks that retrieving the manual from her databanks and finding the correct tip would take her more time than it would take for Minkowski to just remember the tip. Which suggests interesting things about the nature of Hera’s memory, but also implies that - at least in Hera's view -Minkowski’s knowledge of the DSSPPM is more reliable than that of a supercomputer.
The other possibility is that Hera could have recalled the relevant DSSPPM tip incredibly quickly but she doesn’t want to, maybe because she resents having that manual in her head in the first place, or maybe because she wants to show respect for Minkowski’s knowledge as a Commander. Either way, we can see that Hera – like Eiffel – strongly associates Minkowski with the DSSPPM.
And Minkowski, even if she wasn’t the one to bring up the manual here, recalls the relevant tip immediately. Perhaps she is moving away from her trust in that manual, but everything that she learned as part of her old deference to the authority of Command is still there in her head. She might want to forget it by the end of the mission, but that’s not easily achieved. The way Minkowski’s friends/crewmates associate the manual with her emphasises the difficulty she’ll face if she tries to move away from it.
“One thousand and one pains in my ass”: The authorship of the DSSPPM
In Ep55 A Place for Everything, Eiffel effectively expresses his long-held dislike of the DSSPPM when he comes face-to-face with both of its authors:
EIFFEL What? What the hell are - wait a minute - Pryce? As in one thousand and one pains in my ass, Pryce? (sudden realization) Which... makes you...? MR. CUTTER (holding out his hand) W.S. Carter, pleased to meet you.
It’s significant that the two ‘big bads’ of the whole series are the authors of the manual which Minkowski and Eiffel were bickering about all the way back in Ep1. It’s not the only way in which the message of this show positions itself firmly against just accepting externally imposed authority and hierarchy without question or evidence, but it does reinforce this ethos.
By being the authors of the manual, Cutter and Pryce have had a sinister hidden presence throughout the show. Long before we know who Pryce is and even before we hear Cutter’s name, their manual is there, occupying a prominent place in Minkowski’s motivations and priorities, and in her arguments with Eiffel. It’s not at all comparable to what Pryce put in Hera’s mind, but it is another way in which these antagonists have wormed their way into the heads of our protagonists.
Minkowski will have to come to terms with the fact that the 1001 tips she spent hours memorising and reciting were written by two people who would have killed her, her crew, and even the whole human race without hesitation if it served their purposes. We never get to hear Minkowski’s reaction to learning the identities of Pryce and Carter, but I think processing the role of their manual in her life will be a long and difficult road that’ll tie into a lot of other emotional processing she needs to do. Her assertion to Cutter that, without him, she is “Renée Minkowski... and that is more than enough to kick your ass!” feels like part of that journey. She doesn’t mention the DSSPPM at all in Season 4. She’s growing beyond it.
"Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide": The DSSPPM as a weapon against those who wrote it
Last but not least, I couldn’t write about Eiffel and the DSSPPM without mentioning this scene from Ep58 Quiet, Please:
EIFFEL As someone once told me: "Pryce and Carter 754: In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal, then take stock again. Repurpose, reuse, recycle." And right now? You know what I got? I got this lighter from when Cutter was using me as his personal cabana boy. [...] and I've got myself this big, fat copy of the Deep Space Survival Manual, and you know what I'm gonna do with it? [...] Eiffel STRIKES THE LIGHTER. And LIGHTS THE BOOK ON FIRE, revealing Pryce just a few feet away from him! EIFFEL I am going to repurpose it... and reuse it... and recycle it into a GIANT FIREBALL OF DEATH! And he swings the flaming book forward, HITTING PRYCE ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. [...] EIFFEL That's right! Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide, B-
No one other than Doug Eiffel could pull off the chaotic energy of this moment. It doesn’t get much more anti-authority than lighting the mandatory mission manual on fire and using it as a weapon against one of its malevolent authors. It might not be the wisest move safety-wise, and it certainly doesn’t improve the situation when the node gets jettisoned into space. But there is still a powerful symbolism in taking a symbol of the hierarchical forces that have tried to constrain you for years and setting it alight to fight back against those forces. Eiffel takes his own approach to survival and puts his own name into the title, an assertion of his agency and rejection of Command's authority.
The DSSPPM tip that he uses here is one of those he considers when stranded on Lovelace’s shuttle. It’s understandable that after that experience it might have stuck in his memory.
I can’t help feeling that the line “as someone once told me” has a double meaning here. The immediate implication is to interpret “someone” as being Pryce and Cutter – it’s their manual after all – which makes this line a fairly effective ‘fuck you’ gesture, emphasising how Eiffel is using Pryce’s manual against her in both an abstract and a physical sense.
But I think “someone” could also mean Minkowski. Eiffel uses a singular rather than plural term, there’s already an association established between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, and, in Mayday, it’s his hallucination of Minkowski that gets him to read this tip. She's probably also recited this tip to him at other points as well. Under this interpretation, this line is as much a gesture of solidarity with Minkowski as it is a taunt to Pryce. I like the idea that these two interpretations can run alongside each other, reflecting the duality of the use of the DSSPPM that I talked about in relation to the liveshow.
Conclusion
The DSSPPM is a symbol of external rules imposed on people by those with power over them. These rules can be strange, arbitrary, and even sinister, but for those with a desire for certainty and control, like Minkowski, they can be tempting. And they can have their uses, as well as the potential to be repurposed. Attitudes towards these rules provide an effective shorthand as part of Minkowski and Eiffel’s characterisation. And the clash between these attitudes, and how that clash manifests, can tell us something about how the dynamic between those characters develops and changes.
#Wolf 359#w359#Renee Minkowski#Doug Eiffel#Renée Minkowski#I guess I lied when I said I was halfway through at 1000 words#I hope that those who liked my preview post were up for a long read#This is over 5000 words and I still haven't said everything!#You could write a PhD thesis on this#Honestly I feel like this is full of typos and mistakes cos I was kinda tired as I proofread it but I just want to get it posted today#Otherwise I could spend even more time on it and make it even longer... (and also I want it to be out in the world)#But please do lmk if you spot a typo/mistake. I won't be offended#I'd also be interested to hear people's thoughts on any of this#Unimportant point but I'm shaking my head at Minkowski if she wouldn't let Eiffel listen to the DSSPPM instead of reading it#Audiobooks are a valid method of reading. Don't deny a man with ADHD his own approach to absorbing info!#Then again. it might have been an unfounded assumption of Eiffel's that Minkowski wouldn't have accepted him listening to it#I think in school he definitely got in trouble for boasting that he's actually read the book this time when he just watched the film#the empty man posteth
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#kip sabian#aew#all elite wrestling#aewedit#wrestlingedit#wrestling#night gifs#a leftover from todays giftober stuff that i just thought looked quite nice idk#listen my head is full of goo let me have this one lmao#my beloved#kip in a box#(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine)
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TOApril Day 17 - Lamentations of Broken Fathers
I'm not comfortable enough with dramatic lighting to be able to say that this is my best work but oh well
"Who's under the shroud?" you may ask. Well if you reject the bounds of PJO's timeline and use enough imagination it could be literally any of Apollo's children :))))
#originally it was meant to be lee tho#which is why the shroud is covering the head 😬#btw if you recognize this pose it's because i used one of those statues mourning over tombs as a reference#they're lovely and sad and my reference folder is full of them#btw i was listening to 'la petite fille de la mer' and 'an ending (ascent)' while drawing this#so I really recommend checking those out for maximum angst <3#toapril#toapril 2023#trials of apollo#apollo#lester papadopoulos#lee fletcher#pjo#percy jackson#rick riordan#lonely thoughts#scribbles#look at me cleverly hiding his feet LMAO
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did some mania fueled deep cleaning and found these doods!! enjoy
#this might be one of the first gerrymarts ive ever made#you can tell because i didnt had a grasp on fat people yet#and a mermart! hell yeah#i decluttered things i didnt know could be decluttered#tma#the magnus archives#gerrymartin#i tried listening to the episodes but my head was so full of noise i couldnt follow the conversation#im not in a very receptive mindset tbh#sorry if any of yall wanted to hear my thoughts :(( so far seems fun!
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anyway you know how guys in media often have awful timing when it comes to confessing their love and how steve in particular seems to have thing about waiting until the worst possible moment to talk about his feelings? yeah, so, with that in mind..
billy and steve in the tunnels - just the two of them because everyone’s scattered around - and they’re back to back trying not to become demodog chow, steve’s got his nail bat, now covered in monster goo, and billy’s clutching onto a crow bar or an axe or something like his life depends on it, which .. well it does, and he’s just finished spitting some blood out of his mouth when he hears so what are we?
and billy’s just standing there for a good minute, trying to figure out if he just heard right because surely steve isn’t trying to have that talk right here right now but steve spins to face him, looking all sheepish before coming out with .. because we’ve never actually said but i uh .. i kinda really like you? and, y’know, it would suck if we died without ..
and billy’s opening and closing his mouth, trying to figure out what to say because, yeah they’ve been screwing around for a couple of months now but billy didn’t expect to have to confess his feelings in a biohazardous tunnel full of moving vines and interdimensional monsters because .. what’s he supposed to say .. really? yeah i’m kinda like, in love with you, man, you make my shitty life into something worth sticking around for ..
yeah, no, totally not happening, there’s a time and a place and this isn’t it so instead he just yanks down harrington’s, billy’s, bandana and hopes that slipping steve the tongue in a life or death situation will be enough to tell him what he wants to without using words .. just for now, just until tonight
and judging by the look on steve’s face, which gets a why’s steve smiling like that, billy what the hell did you do to him i swear to god- from dustin, it’s more than enough
#billy with serveral monsters up his ass: i’m SORRY?#steve: wanna hold hands 🥺#billy hargrove#steve harrington#harringrove#my words#i had a thought but i don’t have the energy to write it in full so#here’s the thought as it was in my head thanks for listening#ickyspeaks
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if my brain could stop telling me im not Really enjoying things and im just humoring people all the time and i don't actually care about abything thatd be great. would really like it to stop doing that
#i dunno. i dunno how to describe it properly#rare dave 'i kinda hate myself a bit' moment#like i Do kinda humor people when im notactually invested in what theyre saying#because i know they wanna talk about something ir another and its not like *i* have anything to say ever so like. kt fills the silence#but i do genuinely like listening to people talk and be excited about the things they like#but i also feel bad becaus. i dunno it feels like i dont care as much as i should or i care for the wrong reasons#and it feels bad#sometimes i feel like an empty shell of a person whi never contributes anything ever#'ahaha im bad at talking but i love listening to others talk!!' just scrapes the surface kf what feels like an actual fucking issue with me#i feel like there should be like. More thoughts in my head than there are. it feels like other people have more Thoughts than me in general#i need to get a life so badly dude i thjnk my brain is rotting#anyways this is why i always say if i had a clone we would Not get along#id hate trying to talk to myself#srry for Sudden Vent Post event i havent slept in like a full day#accidental caffeine you know how it goes. too antsy to sleep so i decided to edit my ponies on pony town. and then it was morning#im gonna sleep rn tho#and i know ill feel better then#i just get all stupid when im sleep deprived#delete later
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The shear amount of times I've caught myself sitting in dead silence while drawing something is baffling
I really live in quiet, huh?
#quinn talks#people always go 'i need something in the background' have you ever thought of simply constantly talking to yourself in your head?#im so lost in my own brain people have had conversations with me without me realizing#external noise not needed my head is Full and also playing its own music#taps side of head. oh me? im just listening to Just a Man from Epic: The Musical
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forgive the abysmal quality (taken on my phone, zoomed in, angled to see through a telescope) but used my orange filter on my 32mm lens tonight and she looked so beautiful I can’t believe how much detail it brought out
#also desaturated in edit. she’s so bright that I thought she was still full but nope you can tell she’s entered waning gibbous#my ass is still numb I was out there for 2+ hours stargazing and such: the pleiades circling around her; auriga and gemini; orion and#jupiter and mars and ursa major. listened to johnny cash ghost riders in the sky on loop and created little stories in my head#orion’s sword now a lasso trying to reach the great bear. ursa major herself swallowing up the red planet like a berry and so on#also saw a leonid meteor! didn’t catch it on camera just w my peripheral vision but I was so so giddy over it#log
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wanna hear about my cringe oc dream last night (you have no choice)
#quail talks#my dreams always have like 10 separate parts but the relevant OC part was#i was from kennedy's POV which is so awesome i had their voice and everything#(not their voice claim but the voice that is actually in my head that their voice claim happens to be close to. it was so great)#basically we were locked in this room full of people for whatever reason and we were pissed off we were failing at human interaction#it wouldve been a nightmare otherwise that we kept saying things that got horrible crowd reactions. no one was listening to us#at some point i remember getting super restless and needing to walk around the room and i thought well this is so much better than#sitting at my* desk all day. <-- *kennedy's desk#but the small part???? when i flipped my hair over my shoulder#which was such a visceral unique sensation because i haven't had long hair in so long- it was soooo weird to be able to do that!!!#i was fascinated by my hair for the rest of the time. so hung up over the fact it was flippable over my shoulder. soooo long#like im literally kennedy rn and all i care about is my hair. you must understand....#i love when i have dreams that im just my OC hanging out idly and its like <3 cool#usually i prefer dreams when i'm myself and i get meet my characters. but this was worth it for the long hair moment
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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[IMAGE OF KITTEN HOLDING ITS HEAD AND SCREAMING] AAAAAAAGGHHHH!!!! GAAAAAAAHHHGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHGHHGGHHH!!!!!!!
#<- HEAD FULL OF TOO MANY THOUGHTS#AU thoughts pokemon thoughts rain world thoughts oc thoughts MICHEAAAAAAL!!!!!! HEEEELP MEEEEEEE#if i have to listen to this record of joseph smiths life that my dad is playing on the cars speakers for one more second#i Might kill us all#its stopping me from ironing out my thoughts LEMME PUT MY THOUGHTS ON A MENTAL REEL LIKE A BEDTIME STORY IN PEEAAACEEEEE#mossball.txt
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#my art#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sonic the hedgehog#listen I havent done a full illustration in a very long time#haven't shaded anything in 75 years#was very no thoughts head empty the whole time
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I've done it folks, I have listened to all of Mike*
(*so far, according to that giant playlist)
#im not the first to say it#and i haven't fully resolved my thoughts on it#but i still have like....this bittersweet feeling towards post 20.....13? Mike#that i still haven't fully made peace with yet#there IS something that changes in the quality of his voice and his approach to music/songwriting around that time....maybe a little before#BUT this playlist has really made me appreciate all the different directions he went starting around 1995#and of course especially after 1998#and actually i gained a real appreciation of like the 2006-2011 period#the soundtrack and zorn zorn years#and well.... everything else#like i thank this universe that mike was able to put so much out there while he really had full control over his voice#and ideas just packed into his head#i want....i really want to see where mike goes from this present moment on#hold on to yourself Mike.... we're so happy and excited for you#loving disc horse on this topic welcome#mike patton#the big listen
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