#listen it's technically an au but they're real to me

[apobeel]

(old-ish) halversary date collage

[deconstructthesoup]

What's been in my head lately is a Fantasy High pirate AU. Not a Leviathan AU, an actual pirate AU.

Bear with me---

Adaine is a bookish princess of a kingdom by the sea, and while she has everything from an outsider's perspective, she's neglected by her parents as the second child and is incredibly lonely. Her only real friend is Kristen, who's a representative of the church of Helio and is kind of Adaine's unofficial lady-in-waiting, and both of them are fairly sheltered... until one fateful day, while the two are enjoying a small day of freedom, they get captured by a motley crew of pirates.

Fabian is the captain and the son of the fabled Old Bill, and he's been making his own mark on the seven seas via sheer charisma and chaos. He's trying to build up a reputation of being a ruthless thief and murderer like his father was, but it's pretty plain to see that he cares a lot more than he lets on... like, for instance, upon realizing that Adaine's parents don't care enough about her to pay for ransom, he immediately offers her a spot on his crew. And once Kristen has a very public crisis of faith, she's granted a spot, too.

The other members of Fabian's crew are as follows:

Riz, his first mate and best friend. He's a son of two prolific spies from the goblin kingdom, and he initially wanted to take down the vast network of pirates across the world, but quickly changed gears once he realized that working for the monarchy was a lot more morally corrupt. He kind of acts as the voice of reason, while simultaneously being one of the most feral members of the crew.

Ragh, the ship's chef and the other first mate---Fabian couldn't decide between him and Riz. His mom used to be a pretty prolific pirate herself, and he and Fabian have known each other since they were kids... and, yeah, their relationship has changed from "best friends forever" to "work husbands" over the years. They have some good times.

Gorgug, the ship's resident gunner. He grew up in a family of blacksmiths, couldn't find a lot of honest work, and eventually got a steady position on Fabian's ship. He's happy to be here, he's happy to show off the fact that he's a beast in combat situations, and he's one of the most technically savvy members of the crew. Also, he's a surprisingly good listener.

Fig, the musician and "dark sorceress" of the ship. She used to be a traveling singer-slash-songwriter and used an elven disguise to blend in, but eventually decided "fuck it" and took on her true form as a free-spirited tiefling pirate who kicks ass, takes names, and curses anybody who badmouths her. She's great.

Tracker, the ship's surgeon. She was raised in the church of Helio before being bitten by a werewolf, after which she promptly left to learn under her uncle, who was a prolific pirate himself before he retired. Nowadays, she's learned the secrets of both witchcraft and medicine and made a name for herself as a skilled healer and fighter, and is pretty happy where she is.

Gertie, the ship's other chef and resident wildlife expert. She's definitely one of the most friendly members of the crew, and even though she butts heads with Fabian a lot, she's a pretty core part of the crew. And yeah, between her and Tracker, Kristen is definitely getting a big lesbian awakening.

There is, of course, still a version of Leviathan out there, and Ayda still lives there as a librarian... which is the reason why the crew regularly makes stops there, though getting more supplies is also a plus. Garthy is also there, along with Sandralynn and Jawbone (and Hallariel and Gilear, much to Fabian's displeasure). The Seven are also around---they're a fierce crew of pirates who have a bit of a friendly rivalry with Fabian's crew, though it's never escalated into outright battle.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook:

Monochrome 🔞 [Teaser]

In which Jungkook has never fallen in love before- not until you came along, at least.

Tags/Warnings: Hybrid AU, Munchkin Cat!Reader, Siberian Tiger!Jungkook, DDLG aspects, Daddy!Jungkook, height difference/Size kink, petplay (in a way?), strangers to lovers, mild Angst, Fluff!, quiet!Reader, Model!Kook, mentions of death & grieving, romance, smut, protected sex, Dom! Kook, manhandling, strength kink, biting, hybrid behavior (scenting, marking, grooming and other)

Length: approx. 4-5k

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He's still irritated. You don't deserve any of this.

He hopes he might be able to get the paperwork signed- and you out of this place as soon as he can. There's technically nothing speaking against it after all; he's a level 2 at the end of the day, his hybrid side a lot less dominant than in someone like you. And while it's made him feel like an outcast for a long time, feeling like he doesn't belong neither here nor there- looking at you now, his feelings have changed.

He feels glad, for the first time, that he's the way he is.

"If she's getting too much you can just tell her to go play or something." One of the workers tells him as she'd spotted him with you still somewhat laying on his thigh, his hand comfortably resting on your shoulder while you play with his rings on his other hand. "She tends to get clingy with anybody who pays attention to her." She snickers, but he shakes his head.

"No, it's really fine." He denies her, well aware that she's been eyeing him ever since he'd gotten here the first day, and he can't hold back on his next words. "I actually think she's cute." He smiles down at you, and your cat-ears twitch at that before you look up at him, making him laugh.

"I mean.. I guess? Maybe it's a hybrid thing that you like her." She shrugs, crossing her arms. "But she's gotta move soon, your manager told me they wanna take some more shots." She says with more bite to her tone now- and in a way, it satisfies Jungkook.

He lets you rest on him for a little longer- until he pulls out something from his bag, brown paperbag containing a baked treat you know all too well.

He brings it every time, ever since you've told him you like it, after all.

"Nuh-ah." He chuckles when you instantly sit up and reach for it, turning his body a little towards you on the bench before he holds out the donut, testing the waters. And for his own amusement.

And much to his said amusement, you do exactly what he hoped you would.

Without thinking much it seems like, you lean forward to take a bite out of the sweet treat while he's still holding it- and he can't help but smile at the scene. You're so unaware of your own appeal, completely oblivious to how charming you are, and in a way, it makes him upset. You really are just a soft soul being used and nothing else- and he just feels like he's got to offer his protection.

Because you seserve it- and vecause he wants to be that protector.

Mostly because the connection you both have to one another is undeniable. Mates are an odd thing; but they're a real thing at the end of the day, and it's clear now that he's found his own in you.

You seem to have a moment of realization after the second bite, ears turning before your head follows as a worker says something Jungkook himself doesn't quite catch- but he knows he doesn't like it. "Hey- I'm over here." He tells you, and you look at him with a more shy expression now, almost embarrassed- letting go of his wrist as you sit back down on the bench, visibly uncomfortable. "Dont listen to them. I'm more interesting, am I not?" He teases to get your attention back, reaching out to wipe a crumb from the corner of your lips, making you smile a bit shyly to yourself.

You're so easy to catch.

"Why.." you start, seemingly thinking about your words. You do that a lot, he noticed- you either don't talk at all, or very quietly, and in a way, he's not sure if that's been something they pushed onto you in the carecenter here, or if you've always been this way. He wants to find out, that's for sure. "Why do you.. like me?" You ask, visibly unsatisfied with how you formulated that sentence. It's another proof of your difference in hybrid level compared to Jungkook.

But no matter, he will learn to understand you, until he no longer needs you to speak at all.

Jungkook simply shrugs at your question. "Maybe a mate thing. Maybe just because I like you." He answers. "I don't need to have a reason for it, though. You're a very sweet person, very likable." He tells you before he breaks off another piece of the donut, holding it out. "Now come on. Be a good girl and finish up, alright?" He teasingly tells you as he eats the other leftover piece himself, just to pull yours away from you when you reach out for it with your hand. "Nop." He chuckles, making you glare at him, tail swiping behind you from side to side, and he can't help but laugh at the scene, head thrown back.

Adorable.

Until he feels your lips brush against the tips of his fingers as you snatch the last piece of your treat from him, his gaze immediately back on you as you watch his reaction with a more challenging expression, and he can't help but be intrigued.

"I feel like it'll be a good idea. Jungkook!" His manager smiles, walking up to you both. "You've got her there already, perfect. We'd like to unclude her in the next few shots tomorrow, see how she does." He tells him, and Jungkook looks at you who seems visibly uncertain.

"You okay with that?" Jungkook asks, and you look at the camera set up close by with an almost fearful expression. "Dont worry. They'll tell you what to do, and I'll help as well. Or is it something else?" He asks, making you move to sit on the bench more properly, feet almost touching the floor, but not quite. He realizes what might be the problem when a staff member accidentally let's a brush fall to the floor, your ears instantly flattening for a short second from the harsh sound. "Ah- does the camera sound scare you?" And you nod at that, making his manager laugh a bit.

"Oh no, don't be scared! It's totally normal. Maybe Jungkook can show you how it works?" He says, before looking over at the careworker close to him. "My son has a hybrid too- he used to hate the sound of the microwave too until my son explained to him how it functioned." He chuckles. Jungkook remembers that. Namjoon and Jimin are an odd couple, but weirdly, they also fit perfectly.

"I don't think she'll understand that, but you can try." The careworker shrugs disinterested, clearly upset at Jungkooks lack of interest in her.

"Come on, let's have a look then." Jungkook simply tells you with no thought wasted on the woman, as he walks to the big cameras with you, Taehyung already looking your way. "Hey, can you maybe explain to her why the camera makes that noise?" Jungkook asks his friend, who nods at you.

"Its pretty loud, isn't it?" He tells you, and you nod- standing on the tips of your toes to try and see through the lens, but to no use. "You're so short!" Taehyung chuckles, and Jungkook can't help but be amused too.

"Hm, here, you can step on that." He offers, sliding an upside-down thick plastic bucket close to you to stand on; his hands instinctively on your body yo steady you as you step onto the container.

"Alright, so.." Taehyung starts to explain the camera to you, and Jungkook can't help but be thankful that his friend is clearly aware of the fact that you're not a stupid child- the photographer never oversimplifying anything, simply telling you the general mechanics to make sure you understand what's happening, that nothing is breaking or could cause any harm. And then the camera makes its distinctive sound.

Your ears still flatten for a split second, but your body makes no sign of being scared or surprised any longer. It worked.

"I can't turn it off, sadly. It's a mechanical sound, so there's no way around it." Taehyung shrugs towards his friend, and Jungkook simply nods.

"It'll be fine." Jungkook says, helping you down from the bucket as the manager says his goodbyes to the first staff. It reminds Jungkook of something in that moment he almost forgot. "Alright, go get your stuff now. I'll go change and then we can go, alright?" He asks, and you seem confused- until you seem to realize.

You're going home with him today. And tomorrow. And the day after, too.

Jungkook can't help but laugh when you dash off into the hallway to get your things, as he himself goes to change himself. He really hopes you'll like it at his place, hopefully enough to decide to stay- and if you do, all he needs are your papers signed and approved. He hates the way the system works, but he also understands it somewhat.

Even though it's clear that not everything goes exactly as it's meant to be.

But once you're with him, once he's got you safe, there will be no more of this. He'll make sure the world gets to know what's going on behind closed doors, having already discussed the plans with his management after all- and he can't deny his anticipation.

He can't wait to see that man lose all he's never even deserved to have in the first place.

But before he can even think any further about those things happening, you're pulling on the hem of his sweater to gain his attention, already dressed in scarf and coat and those fluffy boots he'd bought you yesterday- a lot better quality than those worn down things they'd given you. You deserve to be spoiled in his opinion, not tossed aside like you've been for God knows how many years- and he'll make sure that'll happen.

"Come on." He smiles at you, taking your bag for you as he walks outside the building to his car, opening the door. "We can sleep early or have some food delivered- what would you like?" He asks, getting into the car after you, the driver closing the door after him as he's finally seated next to you, seat belts clicking into place for the both of you.

You shrug as an answer, and he laughs, watching as you yawn, the tiger teasingly pointing his finger into your mouth- but he doesn't expect you to close it so quickly. While you don't bite down on it (at least not hard enough to ever really hurt), he still can't help but be affected by it. Especially when he pushes down on your lower lip, your tongue jokingly licking the tip of his finger, making him smirk at you.

Behind your innocent facade does slumber a tiny little tiger too, in a way, it seems like.

And he honestly doesn't know if he can handle having you around him like this for much longer, while not doing anything about it at all. He's already almost kissed you yesterday, and by now he knows you feel just as attracted to him as he does to you.

You're mates after all. Similar age. Technically in the same hybrid group. Nothing speaks against it.

And yet he's got to be careful. He doesn't want to end up breaking your heart if things don't go as expected- he'd hate leaving you devastated. And yet still he feels as if he'd die soon if he doesn't at least get to feel your lips on his- there's nothing wrong with at least a kiss, right? Maybe just a little further than that- his couch his comfortable after all, and he for sure won't be able to withstand the temptation of at least holding you close with you staying with him tonight. "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight? I can take the couch, no problems." He asks you to distract himself, ground himself again and get his mind off of things-

But then you visibly pout, ears drooping down a little as you look at him almost disappointed.

"Not.. with you?" You mumble, and his gaze focuses on you again, pupils dilated as he swallows thickly.

"I mean, I won't say no." He tells you, eyes never leaving yours. "But I probably should." He says, making you tilt your head in question. Though in your eyes, in the way they sparkle mischievously, he knows you're very much aware of the implications.

"You won't." You simply smile next to him, legs stretching and tail swaying from side to side, and all he can think of is brat. There's no trace of the shy little cat left it seems like right now, as you look at him all confident and almost challenging.

And yet, he can't disagree.

He won't say no.

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[gomzdrawfr]

Royal AU

heavy sigh LISTEN, this brainrot has taken over me so hard that I physically cant even make anything shiny au related(dragon!Price one) so pLEASE, lemme show u what this au is all about:

an attempt at the emblem has been made, and honestly? im not gonna do any more of this bcuz god i suck at designs HAHAHSKDJHSAD

some lore if you're interested:

so Raven is adopted by Vik, who was the previous Royal Guard for Price's dad, and because Vik doesnt have any son, he makes Raven to grow up as one

The general story is like this, Vik was also part of a society, Cobra who wanted to throw the kingdom into chaos, and so they plot a plan to assassinate Prince!Price, because they think another prince is more fitting to be the next king, however this ended up in an unfortunate turn of event where Vik killed the king instead of Prince!Price, so Price had to ascend the throne pretty early on

In other words, Vik also had other intention when he specifically trains Raven to be the next royal guard, since he wants Raven to get close to Price for her to kill him -> and this fact is disguised as a fact that "oh hey Raven you need to be a guy to continue this "FaMiLY tRaDitIoN"

okay, dialing back a lil, let's talk about the relationship between Price and Raven for a sec, they're childhood friends as mentioned.

Basically, young Prince!Price who likes to sneak out and hang out with the royal guard's "son", Raven, in secret of course

they often like to hang out in one of the sealed off room in the palace, to which they managed to find a way to enter it of course, so lets call this the "childhood room"

expanding on the lore, when they both grow up they start hanging out lesser due to their respective roles and duties. Keep in mind, all these time Price thought Raven was a dude, until "event" happened of course

so what's this "event" you ask?

basically, around the time when Price was announced to be the next heir to the throne, he decided to take a break from his work and visit the childhood room, it has always been a safe haven for him. Just before he wants to leave though, an injured and soon to be Royal Guard Raven stumbles into the room(she cant go to the infirmary in risk of being exposed), with one hand around her abdomen area

Price decided to stay quiet and observe, he hasnt seen "him" in such a long time afterall, and thats when he saw Raven wearing a binder underneath all the armour as she wrapped a bandage around her abdomen, which reveals her gender after all this time

so technically, Price knows Raven's true identity since early on, but never commented on it, but it definitely does throw him off for...several reasons :]

anyways....idk how else to expand this but i do have a general idea, maybe something about Vik forcing Raven to kill Price in one of the events, but she retaliates instead, and as a result she tries to off herself since she has been lying to Price the entire time, insert angst and more angst, then idk timeskip to Price finding out Raven's real real identity ((because keep in mind, Raven's adopted, not blood related to Vik)) is a forgotten Princess or sum, and then they get married and live happily ever after((LET ME BE DELULU))

but yeeeeeeeeeee XDDD thats about it

[crimeronan]

On the topic of How Do You Handle XYZ Comment, I've always wondered how you handle terrible responses on your toh takes. Like I know the toh fandom doesn't lack piss on the poor reading comprehension and they also really enjoy wildly out of touch takes, but I've never seen any comments on your princess luz stuff of that nature. I'm sure they must be there but maybe I'm too early? But anyway, how do you tend to deal with the "acktually shipping luz and Hunter is incest" and the "ur not a real lesbian because putting amity in a poly ship is lesbian erasure" and the "as a white person kinda sus you make the poc woman an empress" kind of responses? Ones that are technically not hate and maybe if you squint could be from people who aren't inherently trying to do bad but just lack the maturity needed to engage with the internet at large?

this ask made me giggle. honestly, i haven't received as much pushback as you might expect! way less pushback than i expected. in the princess AU, i've gotten a LOT more "this is actually too grotesque for me to stomach" comments than "this is problematic" comments, which is fine. horror-thriller isn't for everyone, those comments do not upset me.

i have had a Few run-ins with bad faith people, whom i mostly block. there's one prolific commenter in toh tumblr fandom who would repeatedly write angry essays on my humor meta posts -- essays that were all about how belos is too evil to be sympathetic and/or about how hunter is a soft gentle boy who shouldn't be jokingly referred to as evil. then they'd go "i can't help my active and conscious decision to type a bunch of rude fucking words and then my active and conscious decision to send those rude fucking words because i'm autistic :(((" around the fourth or fifth time this happened, i was fucking done with that nonsense and finally blocked them. shoulda done it after the first comment tbh!! no more autism exceptions.

as for the rest of it, my main management strategy is to simply.... preempt the bad faith comments?

i had a LOT more unpleasant and conflict-filled fandom experiences when i was in the raven cycle fandom. that was my first exposure to "you can't ship multi-gender polycules if anyone involved is gay" and "queerplatonic het relationships are just heteronormativity shipping that you're trying to get away with." having dealt with those takes before, i've found a few different ways to disarm bad faith readers before they get started.

first is to be super open and honest about my interests. i talk about what i find compelling in different relationships All The Damn Time. it's really hard for anyone to accuse me of only wanting hunter to fuck amity if they've seen, like.... anything i've said about hunter and amity.

same with hunter and luz. the only negative reactions i've really gotten to how they're written in the princess AU is like.... two people being squicked by camila thinking they're romantically involved. i REALLY expected more pushback on the touchyfeely bed sharing stuff, but from what i remember, there's never been Any....? not even from people who consider them siblings.

i expected a lot of pushback on how mean hunter and amity are to each other, since it's taken So much farther than the canon. but it turns out that there's a very large overlap between people who like dark horror AUs and people who like hunter and amity murdering each other. (in a fluffy fic i don't think this characterization would fly Nearly as easily.)

i find that being funny really disarms people, too. when you look at any of my toh meta posts that could be controversial, they're basically all funny. people are a lot more willing to listen to what you have to say if you make them laugh, and it's harder for them to get angry at you.

and then the last thing is that i think i'm in sort of a privileged position in toh fandom. i've written a lot of controversial subjects and relationships and characterizations.... but i've also written some WILDLY popular mainstream fic. and people who like the mainstream fic don't really want to beef with me about differing niche opinions, bc there's a level of respect there. which they might not have for a writer they don't like.

but anyway. when things Do happen, i almost always just block and move on. there are so many people here who get what i'm talking about that there's no need for me to try to convert people who don't, you know??

[symphonic-scream]

I was left unattended there's a new au

Haru Sakura au for Persona 5

P5 au where Haru moves into LeBlanc's attic after she joins the team

Joker lives in the Sakura house by then, has his own room, and they've just been using the attic as a hideout

They go and get Haru and Mona back and. They all watch her sleep on the couch, and no one wants her to go back home.

"...you think Boss would let her stay here?"

"It's worth asking..."

So, Haru lives above Leblanc. She gets her stuff from her old house, so the attic has a bigger bed in it, a vanity, and they all build an Ikea dresser for some of her clothes

In this one she decides to take a gap year. A year spent, learning to love and to live. A year learning to be Big Sis Haru

Anyways.

Haru: I, I think I'm gay,

Akira: hey, hey it's okay, do you want a hug?

Sojiro: now, I'm not up to date with the world and stuff, but you love who you love, you can't choose that. Anyone that gives you hell? Just send them to me, and they'll never bother you again

Futaba: ...was it Makoto or Ann?

Sojiro: Futaba-!

Haru: Mako-chan, shes- gosh,, I could probably go on for hours,

Akira: I'll listen if you want. I'm sure Dad and 'Taba have other things to do

Sojiro: I can listen to anything else. Just, not love stuff. Don't wanna picture you kids getting older

Futaba: I have to bully kids on Roblox

Haru gets a room in the Sakura house too. Hers is, technically the attic again, but it's big. It was a surprise too, Sojiro paid Ryuji and Makoto and Akira to fix it up, make it liveable

Makoto goes away for the first semester. Kyoto, then back to Tokyo. She and Haru call and text, video call too. Haru praises her haircut, and smiles when she wishes Makoto luck with a date. Doesn't know why her chest feels heavy

Makoto's first day back is day one of strikers. Ann and Akira and Ryuji are going to pick her up from the airport, and Haru doesn't originally want to go, but. Makoto's last text before she loses service is just

"I can't wait to see you again, you don't even know how much I've missed you. Would it be too forward to ask for a hug?"

Haru leaps out of bed and down the stairs, and gets to the van just as they're about to leave

Ann: girl- you're in your PJs??

Akira: you said you didn't want to...

Haru: i- I want to be there! Please,

And she wrings her hands, waiting and listening to the others talk, and-

"Haru!"

Makoto is beaming, undercut and more unevenly cut hair. Wearing a flannel and some shorts, comfy clothes, but it still makes Haru forget to breathe

Makoto pauses, to ask for that hug, be a little cheeky, and Haru just. Crushes her. Sniffling slightly into her shoulder, mutters a soft "I missed you so much,,"

And they're friends. They're friends! Haru has to keep insisting this to her brother, and her sibling, and Ann-

Makoto sits close to her the entire time. Leans over to make jokes, and smiles at her with that, new, silly smile she's found

And. Makoto, at some point in Strikers, breaks the news that she's staying in Kyoto for the year. To finish her year. The program director likes her, it seems

Haru acts normal about it, but when she's alone later, Akira finds her and wraps an arm around his sister

Akira: it sucks, huh?

Haru, wiping her tears: it does,, but- this is good for her studying,,

And the others, they're talking to a more demure Makoto

Ann: got a girl in Kyoto?

Makoto: sort of? She, doesn't want to be exclusive. And, I'm thinking I might actually not like her as much as I'd thought

Ryuji: huh? For Real?

Makoto: ...there's someone else I'm now realizing I may be, in love with

Later on, it's like March now, the next school year is a month away, and

Haru: so, then Sojiro said-

Makoto: I'm coming back to Tokyo!

Haru: ...you are?

Makoto: I, I am. I'm going to Tokyo U for my second year. Is, does this make you, happy?

Haru: you silly girl, I'm ecstatic! But, is this what you want? What about your girlfriend?

Makoto: she broke up with me. I deserved it, it's. A long story. I'll tell it to you when I'm home?

Haru: yeah,, when you're home,,

The second airport reunion is much more emotional. Makoto sprints through a crowd, and swings Haru around, who's actually crying and just. They both missed each other so much

Makoto had a plan. She had it all worked out, but, in the moment, she just-

Makoto: I missed you so much, I love you, Haru, I-

Haru: *gay shut down as Makoto rambles a little, then springs up for a messy kiss*

So then they're dating. Haru starts her first year as Makoto does her second, and it's. They're both in much better places

Sojiro has to get used to his newest and oldest daughter coming down from her attic room in the morning with her girlfriend, who he knows already, but who gets so goddamn awkward around him now

Futaba snickers and teases as Makoto gets so red, and Akira winks and teases, and Haru gets pink and giggles back, and just. She's in a much better place in life

A gayer place

Makoto would have had a year of gay exploration and learning about herself in the background. She comes back to Tokyo knowing she's more butch, having a new style and absolutely sure she's head over heels for Haru

Haru's been growing her hair out. It's ponytail length, and she's just, more at ease with herself

Makoto spends her first night back in Tokyo at Sae's, but then, she meets Haru for a late lunch, and they go back to Haru's room, and, the giddy little make out, and the way they just. Talk stuff out while curled up in Haru's big bed

Makoto: I've had a crush on you since Beauty Thief

Haru: I, it took me a bit longer. Christmas Eve,

Makoto: I'm so glad I didn't stay in Kyoto any longer. Being apart from the others, from *you*, it was necessary for finding myself, but it was almost too much

Akira goes up to Haru's room the next day and finds the GFs playing Smash Bros or something

Haru, in Makoto's flannel and a soft skirt. And then Makoto, in a sports bra and butch boxers and just

Akira: oh. I didn't know Makoto, slept over

Makoto: we didn't-

Haru: she just slept over, 'Kira, take your horny brain elsewhere. What's up?

Akira: Dad and I are making hotpot for tonight, Ryuji and Yusuke are coming over, sleeping over in the living room. Do you two wanna join?

Haru: Mako-chan?

Makoto: I'm down. I- are we going to join the guys downstairs? Or-

Akira: ...you're staying over again?

Haru: mm! We'll hang out with them, but I'm still owed my solo Mako time

So yeah.

[ladamedusoif]

Visiting - Chapter 7: Forget Who We Are

(Moodboard by the wonderful @cutesyscreenname)

Pairing: Professor!Ben (College AU) x OFC Lydia/fem!Reader (reader POV/2nd POV)

Summary: Seeking a change of scenery after her life falls apart, Lydia crosses the Atlantic and arrives in a small New England town, to spend a year expanding her intellectual horizons as a visiting professor of art history at a small liberal arts college. Her growing friendship with Ben Morales, professor of Hispanic literature, forces Lydia to confront the fallout from her past - and raises unexpected questions about the future.

Chapter summary: As the semester winds to a close, and Lydia and Ben prepare to go their separate ways for the holidays, it's time to face facts about what happened at Thanksgiving - and indulge in some holiday cheer.

Word Count: 11.4k (it's worth it)

Rating: Explicit (MDNI; 18+) - for real.

Content (chapter specific): Smut; Professor Ben College AU; smaller-than-usual-for-this-fandom age gap (Lydia turns 42, and Ben is 47); canon is not a thing here; slow burn; idiots-to-lovers; fingering; oral sex (F and M receiving); praise kink; tongue-in-cheek size kink; discussions of sexual health and explicit consent; Ben and Lyd are consent masters; safe but technically unprotected PiV sex (talk about it first, people); creampie; strong language; alcohol consumption; weight and body insecurity; references to the holidays; did I mention the smut?; tiny bit of angst for good measure; smutty mcsmutterson.

A/N: The title of this chapter is taken from Father John Misty's song "Real Love Baby", which - to quote @julesonrecord - has become one of the songs for this pair of idiots as they come to terms with what they feel about each other. I listened to this a lot while drafting and writing this chapter.

I'd also recommend the classic "Fall at Your Feet" by Crowded House as a song with an appropriate vibe for this chapter. (God, I love this song so much.)

("Who knows where that might lead?" jeez alright Neil Finn hit me in the feels, why don't you?)

I'm so grateful for all the love I've had for this story and for this pair. Every comment and reblog and ask is a little lift to my soul (I mean that!)

And I'm extra pleased to be posting this important chapter this week, given that OG SNL Ben, the character that got into my head and made me think "imagine that man as a college professor of literature", is technically now Emmy-nominated.

They're idiots, the love might be requited, but they still have a long way to go, trust me.

Further A/N after the chapter to avoid spoilers.

See the Series Masterlist for an outline of Lydia's story and background.

Cross-posting to AO3 (got delayed this week because of The Attack!)

Thanks, as ever, to @lunapascal and @julesonrecord for loving Bendie as much as I do, and for being patient sounding boards as I work out how to tell this vital part of their story.

Taglist: @lunapascal, @julesonrecord, @cutesyscreenname, @tessa-quayle, @vermillionwinter, @iamskyereads, @tieronecrush, @perennialdoll247, @love-the-abyss, @imaswellkid, @intheorangebedroom, @javierisms, @fuckyeahdindjarin, @littlemisspascal, @khindahra, @pedrostories, @readingiskeepingmegoing, @ruebyretro, @rhoorl

“So you’re in at what time tomorrow?”

“It’s not tomorrow, mom, it’s the day after tomorrow. Actually, it might be the day after the day after tomorrow with the time difference? Let me check, I’ll confirm later.”

You’re discussing the final arrangements for your flight home for the holidays with your mother by phone, while simultaneously checking over your end-of-semester to-do list. 

There’s always a certain giddiness in the air - tempered with panic, as everyone tries to get as much work as possible wrapped up - as the first semester winds to a close for the winter holidays and the student body starts to thin out, and Barrow is no exception. All that’s left on the calendar are two events, happening tomorrow: the Founders’ Luncheon, a formal event considered a vital part of the college’s fundraising activity; and - much more importantly, from a faculty staff perspective - the informal annual staff holiday party, held in the evening. 

You zone out a little as your mother starts telling you how busy she is with the preparations for the holidays. Looking through the glass panel in your door, you see a familiar figure standing further down the hallway, glasses dangling from his mouth as he opens his office door while juggling a stack of books. 

A little smile creeps across your face, but there’s an ache in your chest: yearning tempered with uncertainty. You haven’t actually seen Ben in person since Thanksgiving. He’d been away at a big comparative literature conference in the south, and by the time he’d got back you were leaving for New York, where you were speaking at a week-long conference on eighteenth-century art. 

You’d been in touch, though. While you were both away, you kept up the constant back-and-forth of messages that you’d grown used to over the last couple of months, a steady stream of jokes and gifs and selfies and commentary on everything: from the books you were reading to the shows you were watching, to the most mundane, everyday experiences. 

Well, almost everything. In all of those exchanges, neither of you had ever brought up Thanksgiving, or the accidental, sort-of “kiss” that had haunted your dreams and fantasies over the last couple of weeks.

Ben turns just as he’s about to go into his office. He smiles, raises a hand, and gives you a little wave

“Hey there, stranger.”

He’s there at your door, a mug of coffee in each hand, as usual, and a soft, if nervous, smile on his face. 

“Hey stranger, yourself.” You take your coffee gratefully and sit back in your desk chair. “Why does it feel like I haven’t seen you in forever?”

Ben shrugs and leans against the doorframe. “Conferences, travel - and I guess it feels longer because we’ve seen each other pretty much every workday, right?” He takes a substantial sip from his mug, and looks at you. “I can’t stay, I’ve got a supervision meeting, but, um, how have you been? How was the conference?”

You throw your head back and flail your hands excitedly. “Oh my god, it was amazing! Full disclosure - I might have skipped the occasional session because I was in New fucking York. But it was so worth it. And the paper seemed to go well, so - all good. How was yours?”

He exhales and shakes his head, rolling his eyes for comic effect. “The paper was a rushed job, I was basically in a hotel in Louisiana for four days, my daily treat was a trip to the CVS across the road, as you know - but yeah, the discussions were good, the work was interesting…” He raises an eyebrow and smiles mischievously. “Still - clearly I should have become an art historian purely for the conference locations.”

Neither of you seems willing - or able - to bring up the elephant in the room. Perhaps you just didn’t need to talk about it. You’d both seemed surprised by the “kiss”. You both seemed to understand it as unintentional. Maybe further discussion was unnecessary. 

You reach into your desk drawer to retrieve a pack of luridly-frosted holiday cookies. “Hey, take a couple of these for that meeting. You need the extra sugar and artificial ingredients to get you to the end of the semester.” 

Ben’s face lights up. He walks over to the desk and takes two of the cookies, holding them in his big palm carefully. “Damn right I do.” He looks down at you, and you feel the smile spreading across your face at the sight of those eyes at close quarters. 

You take a deep breath. “Ben, I -”

A knock at your office door, still ajar. To your surprise, it’s David.

“Hi Lyd, hi Ben - I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“Not at all,” Ben reassures him. “I was just leaving.” He turns back to face you before he leaves the office. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lyddie, at the luncheon?” 

You nod. “And the holiday party. For god’s sake, don’t forget about the party or Susan might kill you.”

He grins, pats David on the shoulder, and wanders down the hall to his office. David closes your office door and sits in the chair in front of your desk.

You extend the pack of cookies towards him. “Help yourself and try not to think about the amount of edible glitter involved. So, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

David gingerly picks up a cookie shaped like a snowman. “I’ve been up with Evan this week, and realised I wouldn’t see you before you go home,” he explains, nibbling a little of his cookie. “I wanted to call by and wish you safe travels and happy holidays.”

Before you can start to return the sentiment he puts up a hand, gently. 

“There is something else. Lydia, can I say something to you? Between us. It will never leave this room.”

You shift in your chair. “Sure, of course - oh shit. Is… is Evan okay?”

David smiles and nods, reassuring you. “He’s fine. It’s not about Evan, actually. It’s about you.” 

You feel your eyebrows shoot upwards. 

“Well, really… it’s about you. And Ben.”

Oh, fuck. Fuck. 

You get a sudden, strong memory of David in the cab on the night of your birthday drinks, looking at you intently as Evan confirmed that Ben was single, contrary to Amy’s rumour mongering. 

What did he know?

“Oh, okay. Okay.”

“I don’t know how else to put this, Lyd, but I think that man - I think Ben has feelings for you. Strong feelings.”

You feel your face heat and your mouth start to dry up. There might even be tears pricking your eyes. You try as best you can to control your breathing.

“David, no. I don’t think so. He’s never done anything to suggest otherwise, and he’s had the chance, so -”

David tilts his head to one side, his eyes kind and serious. 

“Lydia, I’m a theatre scholar. I study bodies and expressions for a living. I know what’s real, and I know what’s performed. And I’ve seen you two together enough, and heard each of you talk about the other enough times, to know that he has real feelings for you.” He looks at you intently. “And… to be fairly certain that you have feelings for Ben, too.”

The pricking sensation has turned to real tears, rolling heavy and slow down your cheeks.

“Please, please don’t tell Evan.”

David crosses to your side of the desk and wraps an arm around you. “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay.” He hugs you as you protest that Ben just wants to be your friend, that he couldn’t possibly want someone like you, and then pulls away, looking at you face on.

“All that might be true. Maybe. But…just see. See what happens if you let the light in, just a little. You might be surprised.”

Before you leave work that evening, you pop into the main faculty office, a small, festively-wrapped parcel in your hands. Susan barely notices you pass, wrapped up in counting glasses and bottles of wine for the party the next day.

You scan the rows of cubbyholes, each one labelled in alphabetical order for a staff member, until you find it: 

B.E. Morales

You place the little parcel on top of a couple of academic publisher catalogues, addressed to Ben. 

A couple of rows above his, you notice something in your own mailbox: a gift box with a Post-It on top. 

Another explanatory Post-It, you think, placing the box in a tote bag.

A very small Christmas gift, if you have room in your suitcase. - B.

You bring it home and place it carefully in your hand luggage.

Your invite to the Founders’ Luncheon had arrived just before Thanksgiving: a small, gold-edged cream-coloured card with the event details printed on it in elegant black lettering. 

“Does everyone attend this?” you’d asked Susan, studying the invite carefully. 

She shook her head. “A select few. We usually nominate the visiting professor to attend, though - so be prepared to smile and gladhand anyone who looks like they might be willing to donate to support the diversity and inclusion project. Or maybe even a new wing for the library, if you’re extra convincing.”

You hummed thoughtfully, wondering what you could dredge up from your wardrobe that would be formal enough for the luncheon and still be appropriately festive for the party later the same day. 

“You’ll have at least one familiar face there, though,” Susan added, stacking a pile of freshly-copied course materials. “Ben’s been asked to deliver the address that kicks off proceedings - trying to get philanthropic support for the diversity stuff he’s been working on. He’s nervous as all hell about it - you can imagine - but I think he’ll be pleased to know he has you there for moral support.”

In the end, you’d plumped for a crimson vintage-style swing dress with three-quarter length sleeves and a cross-over neckline: demure enough to wear to the lunch and look like a Serious Intellectual, but ready to be dressed up with some well-chosen holiday accessories for the party later. 

Though Ani insisted it was nothing fancy, everyone seemed extremely excited for the holiday shindig: a gathering of colleagues in one of the bigger teaching rooms in the building, fuelled by eggnog, wine, and party food. You had already heard in detail about Evan’s carefully-curated playlists. It seemed like the perfect way to blow off a little steam after a busy semester.

The party was due to start about 5pm, but first there was a formal lunch to contend with. All morning, you’d been silently repeating ‘elevator pitches’ about your work, the importance of the progress already made in diversity and inclusion, and the resources the college needed to continue it. Visitor or not, you were ready to do your best with the wealthy donors who might write a fat cheque - and get a tax break in return. 

You’re running over the list of talking points in your head as you meander down the corridor on your way to your office, about an hour before the luncheon is due to begin. 

“Motherfucker!”

The loud swearing stops you in your tracks. His door is ajar. You knock lightly. 

“Come in.” Ben turns, sounding frustrated, but brightens and visibly relaxes when he realises it’s you. 

“Oh, hi Lyd! Sorry, I’m just…” He stops and runs his eyes over you from top to toe. “Wow, you look…great.”

You can feel your face burning, and try to deflect from his words. “So do you. I mean… you’re all fancy.”

He’s dressed more formally than you’ve ever seen before. A white button-down shirt, slim navy dress pants, black lace-up Oxfords. The collar of his shirt is turned up, and he’s holding the source of his irritation: a dark green tie.

Oh, fuck me. He looks so good.

He exhales sadly. “I can do this without a mirror - usually. But it’s like I can’t remember how to do it today, and I think I’m losing it.”

“Might also be because you’re thinking about the speech, no?” 

He sighs and looks a little sheepish. “You know me too well, Lyddie.” 

You feel heat spread at the nape of your neck. Pull yourself together. 

“Can I help at all? With the tie? I could act as your mirror, or help to get it right…”

His eyes light up and he drapes the tie around his neck again. “Oh, please? I need to run through the address one more time and I’m already late. Here: it’s probably quicker if you just do it for me at this stage.”

Oh. Oh, no.

Your instinctive need to help had overridden whether or not you could actually cope with this: physical proximity, first of all, but then having to tie Ben’s tie? With all the intimate domesticity it implied? It could end you there and then. 

You take a deep breath and move a little closer, taking each end of the tie in your hands. 

“I can literally do one knot, so I hope this is what you’re after,” you say, and he laughs lightly. You begin to knot his tie, muscle memory kicking in from your school days, when a tie was part of your convent school uniform. By necessity, you’ve had to edge closer still to him, and you can feel his dark eyes burning into you as he watches your fingers work. 

David’s words from the day before continue to run through your brain on a permanent loop. 

Let the light in, just a little. 

You look at Ben through your lashes, mouth drying and a telltale throb fluttering through your core. 

“Hope I’ve done this right. I’ll just adjust it and then I can take a picture so you can check.” You tighten the knot slightly and work it up towards the hollow of his neck, eyes trailing up to meet his gaze. 

Let the light in. 

You bring your hands up to fold down his collar and, almost without thinking, graze your fingertips off the grey patches that you love so much, just at the corners of his jaw. 

Ben closes his eyes for a moment, and you can see his breathing speeding up slightly. He swallows hard.

“I meant it.”

You fold down the collar and adjust the knot, praying that your heart will stop beating quite so quickly and that the ache between your legs will dissipate. Still, you don’t stop touching him, bringing your right hand to rest lightly on his chest, just over his heart.

“Meant what?”

He opens his eyes and looks at you. “I meant it. On Thanksgiving. I…meant to kiss you.”

Your eyes widen and your features soften in understanding. “Ohhhh.”

He brings one hand up and places it over yours. “I know you didn’t mean it, you went in for a kiss on the cheek and - I’m sorry, I just have to tell you, Lyd. I… I wanted to. And I should have kept kissing you, the way I wanted to.” 

With his free hand, he strokes your cheek with his long fingers, the warm span of his palm carefully cupping your jaw as if you’re the most delicate thing in the world. 

You smile shyly, reciprocating his gesture as you stroke your thumb along the scruff on his jaw. “I was going in for a kiss on the cheek…but I meant it, too. I wish I’d been braver that night.” You giggle. “And yes, you should definitely have kept kissing me.”

For an instant you remember the defences you’ve built up around yourself: around your heart and your soul. They were a protection and a comfort, a suit of armour deflecting even the slightest possibility of future pain and loss. You cannot be hurt or disappointed if you never expect anything. Never let anyone in.

But even the best armour is not completely impenetrable. The first weakness was exposed the day you realised what you actually felt for this man, even if you could barely admit it to yourself. 

Smiling softly, Ben drops his arm to your waist to pull you close to him, continuing to caress your cheek with his free hand. “You…you’re so beautiful. I…”

His tongue darts fleetingly across his lips, as if he’s looking at a delicious morsel, and it’s enough to make you almost feral with sheer desire. 

He angles his head slightly, gently nudging at your nose with his. His soft, pink lips meet yours, slightly open, in a warm, perfect kiss.

With a light moan, your tongue immediately seeks entrance to his mouth. He tastes of peppermint and coffee, of sweetness and bitterness all at once. You reach for his tie, not breaking the kiss, and gently tug him along with you as you walk backwards towards the wall of his office until he’s almost pressing you into it. 

As he kisses you ever more deeply, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in, tight as he can to his body, slowly moving his hands over your back and hips, and trailing his fingertips across your ass. In return, you run your hands through his hair and stroke your fingers down one side of his neck, eliciting a groan from him, before breaking away to wrap your arms around the broad span of his back. 

You have felt his warm body before, when you’d hugged, but this was something else entirely. No need to worry about whether you’d lingered a little too long in his arms. No need to suppress the desires that had haunted and tormented you. Now it was time to express them.

Ben breaks off the kiss momentarily, pausing to look at you with those intelligent, sensitive, coffee-brown eyes. A wide grin spreads across his handsome face. You feel his cock pressing, half-hard, against you in his dress pants. The sensation sends another wave of wetness to your centre. 

“What are you smiling at, Professor?”

“You. Beautiful, gorgeous you.” 

It’s all you can do to stop the happy tears from falling. Instead, you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and pull him in for a deep kiss, hungrily tasting each other. He breaks away and moves his mouth to your neck, pulling a moan of desire from you that’s probably louder than was wise in a workplace. 

He’s working his way down to your collarbone when your eyes snap open and you freeze. Ben looks at you with concern. 

“Are you okay? Is this too much? We can stop. We can slow down. Whatever you…”

You shake your head frantically. “I wish we didn’t have to stop but, Ben: the fucking luncheon!”

His eyes widen in panic. “Oh, FUCK! FUUUUUCK! What time is it? Fuck fuck fuck -”

You look at your phone and try to calm him down. “You’re fine, you’ve got like twenty minutes before it starts. Hey,” you reach for his hand, “remember the message of Hitchhiker’s Guide? Don’t Panic. And maybe relax a bit, so you’re not… visible. Ahem.”

He raises an eyebrow and laughs. His breathing slows a little, and he squeezes your hand gratefully before planting a final, chaste kiss to your lips. “I’ll see you over there. Might be a bit late for the holiday party, depending on how many people they want me to meet after, but we can, uh, pick up where we left off?”

He looks so sweet and so painfully shy that you almost can’t believe this is the same man who was pushing you into a wall and kissing you like his life depended on it only a few minutes before. 

You lean in for just one more kiss. “Abso-fucking-lutely we can.”

His address to the luncheon is, unsurprisingly, brilliant. Erudite, warm, funny: infused with the passion you saw him bring to his work and to his subject every day. He is so talented: he wears his learning lightly, his natural charm working to hook the audience in and hang on his every word.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that he looks so gorgeous up there at the podium: smart suit, curls neater than usual (you suspect he’d run some wax through his hair after you left him), and that tie.

That fucking tie. You can’t even look at it, because it immediately sends your brain right back to the feeling of tugging it to pull him against you, to the taste of him, to the way his big hands roved over you, gentle but needy, to the way his body revealed just how turned on he’d become by kissing and touching you. 

Fuck. You try to ignore the ache between your legs, choosing to focus instead on the handsome man at the podium. 

You listen attentively to Ben making a powerful case to the large hall full of wealthy donors for the importance of making arts and humanities education accessible. The room fills with applause as he brings his address to a close, and you clap as loud as you can, looking at him with a broad smile on your face. As he walks across the stage, he turns and spots you. 

“Was it okay?” He mouths the words towards you. 

You nod enthusiastically, and give a subtle thumbs up. He does a tiny air punch, and grins at you as he disappears off stage. 

“I’ve switched up the playlists - no one really wants more than an hour of festive hits, even if it’s curated by me. Vegan no-pig in blanket?”

Evan proffers a tray of party snacks, having come over to join you near the tables set up with drinks and food. The music has become much more eclectic: fewer holiday hits, many more danceable, extremely cool, crowd pleasers. A few people are even starting to clear space in the centre of the room as a makeshift dancefloor. 

“Where’s Benjamin?” Evan asks as you chew on a no-pig in blanket. “You’re normally joined at the hip.”

You try not to choke on the pastry, grabbing a glass of red wine to wash down the food. “He was doing the address at the founders’ thing, remember? I think they wanted him to stay around afterwards to meet possible donors. It’s all about the diversity and inclusion programme.”

Evan nods, satisfied. “I’m not keeping any food for him, though.”

The strains of “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” are abruptly cut off as Jen Arden taps on her wine glass. “Head of department holiday speech time! Don’t worry, I won’t keep you from your partying too long - I want to see everyone out on that floor!” 

Her words are succinct but heartfelt, thanking everyone for the hard work that had made the semester successful and noting your arrival and integration into the Barrow community. You blush slightly as the eyes of the room turn in your direction. 

“And as some of you know, Ben Morales delivered the address at the annual Founders Luncheon today - an important part of fundraising for the inclusion programme he’s been spearheading.” Jen looks around the room, seeking out her friend, eyes resting on the doorway as Ben finally arrives. “And here he is now!”

Ben shyly acknowledges the applause in the room, making a beeline for the food and drink. Pure coincidence, of course, that you happened to be standing over there, too. He stands behind you and greets Evan. 

“Well, did you secure the megabucks? Are there hessian sacks printed with dollar signs currently filling your office?”

Ben huffs a laugh. “We have to wait and see, I guess. They seemed nice. Weird, though, talking to people you know are multi-millionaires. Billionaires, even. You keep thinking, ‘why do you need all that money?’”

He shakes his head and reaches for a glass of red wine. As he does so, he trails his hand along your lower back, fingertips grazing the top of your ass. For an instant you wonder if it was an accident, until you feel the palm of his hand pressing lightly but deliberately into the small of your back. 

Evan is talking at length about the snack selection at this year’s party and is clearly oblivious to Ben’s shenanigans and the heat rising in your face as you struggle to maintain your composure. Glass of wine obtained, Ben continues the conversation with Evan, studiously avoiding your attempts to catch his eye.

He’d been explaining his holiday plans - Ben is going west, trying to make up for some of the time lost when he cancelled his trip at Thanksgiving, and is really excited about it - when Evan spots an incoming call on his phone. “Oh shit, it’s my mom. I better go talk to her - sorry guys!”

He exits the room, already talking loudly to his mother about her holiday menu plans. 

As soon as you’re both alone, you swivel to face Ben head-on. 

“Um, excuse me?”

He smirks. “Excuse you?”

“Benjamin Ernesto Morales. You know what I’m talking about. You’re lucky I didn’t spontaneously combust in front of Evan.”

He chuckles. “Ah, that was just a friendly hand placement. Nothing more to it.” He arches an eyebrow, and once again you can feel desire - no, need - rushing through you. The urge to kiss him here, in front of everyone, without a thought for the (possible) consequences, is overwhelming. 

“You, sir, are a menace. Why didn’t I know about this before?”

He does that half-smile that makes you melt, and shrugs his shoulders. “Hey, on another topic - where’s Ani?”

“They messaged me this morning. In bed with a migraine, poor thing. I think these things wait until the end of the semester, just when you’re about to relax, and then bam.”

He makes a sympathetic face and nibbles on a cookie. “So it’s just us, then?” His gaze is both gentle and flirtatious.

“Us, and the rest of the faculty.” You gesture around the room, giving him a look that says “no funny business”.

He gently moves his hand along the edge of the table until it’s within touching distance of yours, and gently runs his fingertips along the back of your hand. You reciprocate by stroking the side of his hand with the pad of your thumb. 

It’s so stupidly chaste, like something from a Georgette Heyer novel about maidens and gentlemen in Georgian England, and yet it’s one of the sweetest, most intimate things you’ve experienced in a very long time.

Ben’s eyes widen as the music changes and the unmistakable opening bars of “Edge of Seventeen” begin. “Oh, Lyd!” He outright grabs your hand now. “Let’s dance, come on.”

He looks perplexed when you don’t move. You beckon him closer with a tilt of your head, and whisper into his ear, feeling your cheeks heating.

“I can think of something better than dancing, but we might need to be somewhere more, um, private.”

His expression shifts as understanding sets in. “Oh. Ohhh.” He grins, looking you up and down. “Yours or mine?”

Praise be to Stevie Nicks. “Edge of Seventeen” got so many colleagues out on the ‘dancefloor’ that the two of you were able to slip away completely unnoticed.

You unlock the door of your office and switch on your desk lamp before pulling down the blind over the glass panel. The soft light illuminates his handsome features as you turn back to face him: the strong line of his profile; the softness of his mouth, lips slightly parted; the glint in his warm eyes. He’s taken off his suit jacket, and with a smile you suddenly recall the first time you noticed how beautifully broad he was, standing in the kitchen at Evan’s Halloween party.

“Hi, Ben.”

“Hi, Lyddie.”

You’re standing close now, face to face. You walk your fingers up towards the knot of his tie, looking at him through your lashes, and tug it so that he’s right up against you, beautiful dark eyes taking you in. He leans in with a smile and kisses you slowly and deeply, the bristling sensation of his moustache and beard against your lips and face going straight to your core.

The pace was never going to stay slow. You wrap your arms around him and he pulls you tight to his body, moving his hands over your hips and ass and pulling little gasps and moans from you. The mints and coffee of earlier are replaced by the taste of red wine and sugar cookies on his lips and tongue. 

You start to run your hands through his hair, stroking your fingers down the side of his beautiful neck, loosening the knot of his tie, and opening the top buttons on his shirt to create a little more space for you. He inhales sharply when you break away from the kiss to gently lick and nibble at his neck and collarbone. You can feel him hardening against you, again. 

He pulls away slightly, keeping his hands around your waist. For the first time in your life, you actually understand what romance novelists mean when they describe a character as having ‘lust-blown eyes’. Ben’s coffee-brown eyes are near black, pupils dilated and lids heavy, conveying a potent mixture of sweet affection and utter desire. He lifts his hand to stroke your cheek gently, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip, before gently moving you towards the edge of your desk. 

He’s nervous. He moves some of the piles of your papers and books out of the way, careful not to disrupt the chaotic ‘order’ you maintain, so you have more room to sit on the desk. As you sit on the edge, you notice his hands are trembling a little. You feel a bit better about the quivering sensation that’s been running through you since you entered the office together, a mixture of desire and nerves.

You hitch up the skirt of your dress a little, opening your legs and creating more room for him as he stands between them, resting his forehead against yours.

“You okay, Ben?”

He looks at you in surprise. “I’m great, Lyd, I’m just…it’s…I’m really glad.” 

You feel a surge of affection in your chest. “So am I. And I’m glad for this tie.” You use it to pull him close to your body again, kissing him hungrily. He leans against you, hands on your waist and back. 

“Is this okay? Can I…touch you, Lydia?”

Something about the way he says your name, softly but purposefully, sends you utterly wild. 

“You know you can, Ben. I’m all yours,” you whisper, edging closer and slowly moving a hand down his broad torso, strong and soft at the same time. You reach his waistband and keep going, brushing your hand lightly over the bulge straining against his dress pants as you maintain eye contact. “I want you.” 

He closes his eyes, letting out a soft moan, before bringing his hands - those beautiful, big hands - up to softly caress your breasts as he moves his mouth to your neck, planting gentle kisses and sucking the skin ever so gently. 

It’s miraculous that you don’t come undone there and then, tipped over the edge by the feeling of his hands on your breasts, his mouth working the sensitive skin at the base of your neck, and his cock growing ever-harder underneath the light massage offered by your palm. Your fingers work at the buttons and zipper of his pants, desperately trying to get access to his hard length. 

He’s pulled up your dress, running his hands up your thighs and towards the warm, wet apex of your legs. He lets out a sigh of pleasure as he traces his long fingers from the top of your stockings to the bare skin of your upper thigh, leaning back to look at your body with a sort of delighted rapture. You silently congratulate yourself for choosing to wear hold-ups instead of regular pantyhose under your dress.

Even in this moment, part of your brain starts to worry about the state of your body and its many flaws, wondering what he is going to think about the you that’s under the scarlet fabric. That said, he seems to be keen so far. He grabs handfuls of the soft flesh on your thighs and hips, grunting with pleasure into your mouth. He feels insatiable already, one hand still caressing your tits as the other slips right between your legs and starts to rub at the soaking crotch of your panties. You’re trying to keep it together, moaning as you move your fingers against the waistband of his boxer briefs, ready to take him in your hand and attend to his pleasure.

Suddenly, the lights in the corridor come on. Laughter and loud chatting from a group of colleagues fills the air. Both you and Ben freeze, breaking off the kiss while your hands stay put.

“Shit… do you think they heard us?” you hiss, unsure what the rules are around this kind of thing at Barrow.

He turns to look at the door of the office, trying to see how close the group was. 

“I don’t think so. I don’t think we were that loud, were we?”

You smirk and raise an eyebrow.

“We weren’t, but we were just getting going…”

He rests his forehead on your shoulder and laughs before looking at you again, withdrawing his hands and straightening your dress. 

“Shall we get out of here? I can call a cab…”, he offers as you nod in agreement. He quickly does up his fly before grabbing his phone from his jacket pocket and pulling up the relevant app. “This is going to sound so cheesy, but - your place or mine?”

You giggle. “My apartment looks like a packing monster threw up in it, so, if you’re okay with yours…”

He smiles and nods enthusiastically, tapping in the details. “Five minutes. They’ll be at the main entrance.”

“Five minutes, so that’s two minutes to get to the door - and three minutes for another kiss?”

He chuckles deeply and pulls you in again.

Ben fastens his seatbelt in the back of the cab, looking at you expectantly. The street lights have him half in shadow, half in light, and you have to focus for a moment to answer. 

Fuck, he’s so sexy. 

The little voice deep inside you still whispers about how someone as fucking hot as him surely couldn’t want someone like you. But you manage to hush it, focusing on Ben’s beautiful face.

The cab journey is short - no more than five minutes along the quiet streets - but feels like an eternity. You’ve spent the entire ride making out in the back seat, like horny students rather than two forty-something academics. Pulling up at his house, you and Ben try to retain at least a little decorum as you hustle to the front door.

“I hope you gave that guy a good tip,” you joke as Ben fumbles for his keys, one hand resting on your ass.

He grins. “The tip was three times the cost of the ride. Think that should cover him for enduring our, uh, shenanigans?”

The front door opens and the two of you step inside. You pause for a moment to take each other in, you trailing your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck while his thumb caresses your cheek. Your lips meet again as you peel off each other’s coats and fall back against the wall in his hallway, your hands fumbling to undo his pants again while he dips his long fingers, finally, into the wet heat between your legs. 

“Oh, fuck!” It feels like you’ve been waiting for him all your life. And, judging by the noises he’s making, the feeling seems to be reciprocated.

“God, Lydia, baby, I can’t believe you’re this wet for me already,” he purrs, sounding genuinely surprised and stroking the inside of your cunt firmly while his thumb works your clit. “You feel so fucking good.”

Ben resumes his work on your neck, moving more urgently now than he had in your office. His moustache and beard brushes against the sensitive skin of your neck and shoulders and makes you wetter still as he continues to massage your clit, occasionally slipping a finger into your pussy. You moan deeply, feeling yourself tightening around his finger as you get ever closer. 

“Fuck, I want you,” he whispers in your ear. “I really want you, Lyddie. I need you. You know?”

You whine with pleasure, one hand inside his briefs palming his cock as he works you to the edge. You can feel the orgasm about to burst deep inside, focused on the sound and sensation of his fingers - Ben’s big, strong fingers  - sliding in and out of you. 

He doesn’t stop, but he sounds a little more vulnerable. “Is that okay? I hope that’s okay,” he continues, and you feel like you’re about to black out.

“I…fuck…that’s more than okay, that’s - Jesus, I want that. And I want you, I need you, to have you, I want you…fuck, Ben! I think I’m going to fucking come, I…”

He looks down to where his hand is working you towards your climax. “That’s it, good girl. You’re so close. Come for me, beautiful girl.”

Good girl. Beautiful girl. Praise kink: activated.

Somehow he manages to look sexy as hell and sweetly shy as he brings you to the edge, eyes warm and dark. “I can’t believe I’m finally getting to make you come, I…I’ve wanted to, so badly.”

You come with a gasp, cunt throbbing and tightening around his fingers. It has been a long time since you’ve come this hard. Your eyes shoot open, looking directly into his. 

He strokes the side of your face with his other hand as he takes you through the aftershocks. Your wetness soaks his fingers as you kiss him, trying to express your gratitude for what he’s made you feel, leaning against the wall of his hallway. 

You break away, able to concentrate more effectively on the way his cock is now fully hard under your hand. “Fuck, baby, that was… holy shit. It’s, uh… it’s been a while.”

He blushes and kisses your forehead. “Can I take you to bed, Lyddie?”

You grin and start to giggle. He looks confused. “What? You don’t want to?”

How can you explain the myriad feelings racing through you in this moment? Excited. Nervous. Happy. Horny.

“I do, Ben. You know I do. I’m just, I dunno, I’m - I’m happy. And I really, really want you.”

He gives you a flash of that sexy fucking smile as he withdraws his hand from your panties and gently moves yours from his cock. 

“Come on.”

Taking your hand, he leads you up the stairs.

You notice almost nothing about Ben’s bedroom as the two of you enter, besides the side lamp he quickly flicks on and the pile of books he moves off the bed before turning his attention back to you. Lips locked, you focus on unbuttoning his shirt while he tries to get your dress off. 

In an instant you are standing before him in black and red bra, black (sensible) high-waisted panties, and hold-ups, his shirt, tie, and pants already discarded.

His eyes widen as he takes you in, gaze lingering over the black lace and red satin of your bra. “Wow. Holy shit.”

Instinctively, you move a step backwards and wrap your arms over your body protectively. You are suddenly overwhelmed by all that is wrong with your body: its size, its awkwardness, the stretch marks from weight lost and (more commonly) gained, marks and scars, a belly that is far too squishy and soft, in your opinion, hips that are too wide, breasts made heavier and less, well, perky with age. And that’s before you get on to your perennially crunchy knees.

You feel every one of your forty-two years, and then some. The fact of his utter gorgeousness leads you to only one conclusion.

God, he’s probably only ever fucked hotter people than me. I can’t compare, surely? 

You feel exposed. The defences - physical, sure, but emotional, too - have been irretrievably breached, and the fear of rejection scares the shit out of you.

The sight of Ben Morales before you, wearing just his boxer briefs (and, you notice for the first time, a pair of candy cane-patterned socks), makes you even more anxious about how you must look to him. He is a gorgeous vision, easily the most beautiful man you’ve ever even seen, let alone gone to bed with: lightly golden skin, strong arms and legs, broad shoulders, and a soft tummy that is as adorable and sexy as you’d imagined. 

And best of all, that beautiful, kind face, now looking at you with real concern.

“Are… are you okay? Lyddie? Are you alright? We can stop, we don’t have to -“

You shake your head and bring your eyes up to meet his. 

“I really don’t want to stop, Ben. I mean it, I want you…I need you in every way. It’s just… I mean, this,” and you gesture loosely to your body. “Like, I’ve had sex since my last relationship but it wasn’t like this, it wasn’t…this. It wasn’t…it didn’t mean…”

He reaches his hands towards you to bring you in for a hug. You take a deep breath as you try to explain properly.

“I haven’t been naked with someone like you…someone I actually care about in a long time. And I’m scared that you won’t like what you see, because you look so good and hot and so beautiful. You’re just so beautiful, Ben. And I…I’m not…”

He holds you closer and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” he whispers. “I wish you could understand what it feels like to have looked at you, to have thought for so long about what it would be like to hold you, to kiss you, and now to finally touch you.” He’s blushing. 

“Kinda wish I could see myself the way you seem to see me, too. Don’t think I’ve ever been called ‘beautiful’ before. Before…you.”

He is still holding you, warm and gentle against his broad chest. You are suffused with a feeling of absolute safety. 

“I mean it, Lyd. If you don’t want to go any further we don’t have to.”

You pull back, bringing your arms to your sides and resisting the urge to hide yourself from his gaze. You look him in the eyes and shake your head with a soft smile.

“I know. We’re keeping going. I want this, too.” 

He kisses you and reaches around to undo your bra, struggling against the hooks.

You reach behind you, keeping your eyes on him, and deftly undo the bra. His mouth moves immediately to your breasts, tongue circling first one nipple and then the other before pulling back to admire you, chest rising and falling and eyes widening as he looks at you. 

Has anyone ever looked at you like that before? Like you are the most perfect creature to ever exist?

Mind you, you’re looking at him in much the same way. 

“You are so fucking beautiful, Lyd. You are. Let me show you how gorgeous you are.”

You smile shyly, still a little conscious of your body, and sit back on the side of the bed. 

Oh, shit. The sensible part of your brain butts in, abruptly. 

You need to talk about this now, not in the moment.

“Uh, Ben? Before you do that, can we maybe talk about, um, health and that?”

He looks confused. “Health? I had a cold in October but - oh. Yes. Yes. I get you.”

He scrabbles around for his pants. 

“What are you doing, Ben?”

“Getting my phone to show you my last screening results. We have the tests as an option on annual physicals and I had mine in August.” He locates his phone and looks at you fondly. “Just before you came over, as it happens.”

You bury your face in his shoulder, giggling affectionately. “Ben, love, I trust you. Just tell me, I don’t need to see them.”

He kisses the top of your head. “All good. And you?”

You nod, still feeling deeply awkward but relieved. “Also all good. Last test just before I came over. Funny, that. I’ve got a contraceptive implant thingy, as well.” You point out the little plastic device just under the skin of your upper arm. “And I haven’t been with anyone since, obviously.”

“Me neither.” He grins and whispers in your ear. “I did have a crush on someone in work, though.”

You smile and run a hand over the salt-and-pepper scruff along one side of his face. “A crush, huh? So you were waiting for them?”

He nods and kisses you softly as he gently encourages you to lie back on his bed, before swiftly discarding the candy cane socks and joining you in bed. 

For a couple of moments you just lie there together, hands trailing across each other’s bodies. You look at his handsome face, and the realisation that you’re actually going to sleep with him dawns. It triggers an unfortunate, involuntary surge of giggles.

“Why are you laughing?” He’s running his hand along the curve of your hip, fingers tugging at the waistband of your panties. 

“I’m not laughing, it’s just…” You start giggling again and hide your face against his broad shoulder.

“Okay, that’s definitely laughing. What did I do?”

You look at him and feel the affection and desire catch in your throat. “You didn’t do anything, baby, I’m sorry. It’s just - we’re basically naked and in bed together and…I’m excited?”

He laughs too, now, chest heaving as he pulls you tight and kisses you, slowly and deeply. You reach for his body, leg wrapping around his and one hand slipping to his hard cock while he caresses and sucks on your tits. His hand is inside your panties now, eagerly seeking out the warm, silky wetness of your folds. 

“Going to take these off, is that okay?” You nod, moaning as he tugs down the black fabric and lifting your hips so he can drag them over your ass. You kick them off as he rolls you against him, one hand grabbing the flesh of your ass while the other rubs small circles over your clit. 

You lean back slightly to look at him, your hands now tugging at the waistband of his boxer briefs. “I want you naked, too,” you murmur, breasts resting on Ben’s chest. “Want to go down on you for a little bit. Is that okay?”

His eyes widen. “God, yeah. Fuck, please, Lyd.”

His boxers discarded, you move down his body, one hand already gently stroking his hard length. You resist the urge that strikes you to drag your teeth over the soft flesh of his tummy, maybe even to bite him. 

You plant a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock, flicking your gaze up to meet his as you take him, hard as hell, between your lips, tongue gently flicking over the head. 

The gesture drives him crazy, and he groans, low and long.

“Fucking hell, you’re good at this. You’re really fucking good at this. So fucking…oh God, Lyd.”

You smile at the praise as you continue to take him deeper into your mouth, fingers tracing around the base of his cock and stroking him lightly. The bulge you’d first felt in his office earlier that evening did not disappoint. 

“Fuck, Lyd, I won’t last if you keep that up,” he hisses, breathing ragged as you use your tongue to lick up and down his shaft. 

Gently, you remove him from your mouth and push yourself back up the mattress, Ben’s strong hands guiding you back into place against the pillows. He drops his hand back to your soaking pussy as you feel the warm, solid softness of his body on yours. You inhale his masculine scent deeply: his cologne, leather, paper, and still a hint of wine from his lips. 

You never want to be anywhere but here. 

He begins to trace a line of kisses from your mouth down to your breasts and tummy, slowly bringing himself down the line of your body until he is nestled between your legs. He runs a finger along a patch of stretch marks on your hip before kissing them softly. With care and a kind of reverence, he plants kisses on the soft flesh of your belly, starting just under your belly button, and working his way down as far as the hair that covers your mound. 

He gently pushes your right leg out to make a little more room and open you up, lifting your leg over his shoulder, before beginning to lick purposefully at your glistening folds. You cry out with pleasure, one hand reaching back to grip the wooden headboard of the bed and the other dropping to the back of Ben’s head. You trail your fingers through his hair as he eats you out, moaning as the line of his nose nudges rhythmically against your clit while his tongue explores you.

It doesn’t take much to bring you back to the edge, and when he brings a finger up to massage you while his tongue slips in and out of your cunt, you come on his face, hips rolling up and back as you climax. 

He grins as he shifts his body back up the bed and you reach for him, pulling him in for a kiss so that you can taste yourself on his lips. He hums with pleasure and pulls back to look at you, rubbing a thumb gently against your cheek before nuzzling in at your neck. His weight against you is somehow devastatingly erotic and perfectly reassuring. 

He pulls back again and you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, opening your legs even wider as you feel the heavy, hard length of his cock pulsing against your core. He rolls one of your nipples between the tips of his fingers, letting his broad palm cup the soft flesh of your breast.

Your voice is quiet, but determined. “I want you to fuck me, baby. Please. Fuck me.”

“I’m going to, darling.” He drops a hand to your soaking pussy, making sure you’re ready. He looks deep into your eyes and you try to make a mental screenshot of this moment: what it feels like to have him above you, to have the weight of his body against yours, to feel the tip of his cock nudging at the lips of your cunt; to look into his eyes and see them dark with lust and warm with affection, to have him tracing his fingers across your mouth and jaw before asking, silently, for a final gesture of consent. 

You nod and gently move your hips down as if you’re going to take him into you all by yourself. He moans loudly, guiding himself slowly and steadily inside you until he bottoms out. The stretch makes you gasp, though it’s in no way painful. You close your eyes as you adjust to the sensation of him filling you, warm and heavy.

He’s looking deeply into your eyes when you open them again. “You okay?” He gently strokes the side of your face with his long fingers. 

“Mmmyeah,” you sigh, distracted by the pleasure of having him inside you. “You’re big, you know,” you murmur. “You’re such a big boy.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth you screw up your face with embarrassment. 

Lydia, what in the fuck was that? Did he already manage to fuck the filter out of you with his fingers? Did he induce some sort of malfunction in lydiabrain.exe?

Ben’s eyebrows are raised but you can tell he’s trying not to laugh. 

You’re fucking this up, Lyd, as usual. 

“Oh god I’m so cringe, I’m so sorry -“

He stops you with a chuckle and a soft, sweet kiss. “I mean, it’s a hell of a compliment.” He arches an eyebrow and looks endearingly smug. “Would you like your big boy to fuck you now?”, he purrs. 

This time, you’re the one who can’t help but giggle as you roll your eyes in mock horror at the cheesy line and he grins in response. You can’t remember the last time you felt this intimate with a lover. 

“I would like that very much. Move, Ben, please.”

He takes it slowly at first, keeping his body close to yours as he uses his hips to pull out and push back into your core, over and over. The rhythm is steady and insistent, and your body responds in kind, your hips moving to meet him and your legs widening and hitching up to take him even more deeply. 

He’s starting to increase the pace slightly and you whine, digging your fingers into his broad shoulders. “You feel so good, Lyd,” he pants, “so fucking good. So warm and tight.”

“You like how tight I am for you? You want to see how much I can take?” you coo in his ear as you trail your hands down his back before spreading your palms over his ass, triggering a growl from deep within his chest as he fucks you faster. 

“Want you to take it all, baby, know you can…” A grimace flashes across his face, though he doesn’t stop, and you wonder if something’s wrong. You bring your hands back up to his shoulders and run a finger along the bristling hair on his jawline.

“Are you okay? Do we need to stop?”

“Sorry, just a tight muscle somewhere -“ He looks a little sheepish, as if his body is letting him down.

“Hey,” you murmur, “get on your back. I want to fuck you on top.” His eyes widen with delight and you shift your bodies together, keeping him inside you as he eases carefully back onto the bed and you straddle him.

For a moment you stay just like that, quiet and still. He looks you up and down, smiling at the sight of you and brushing the tips of his fingers gently over the weight of your breasts and the curve of your hips and thighs. You run your hands over Ben’s chest, gazing at his body as if it were a treasure. When you start to trace your fingers over his tummy, he seems to shrink back a little, embarrassed by his physique. 

In response, you shift forward, pulling him out of you slightly so that you can lean in and run your tongue and mouth over the soft flesh of his stomach. He’s looking down his chest at you, and you look up from under your eyelashes. 

“This is a really sexy tummy, you know. Probably the sexiest I’ve ever seen in my life.”

A smile flickers across his face. “You don’t have to say that -“ 

You silence him by sinking back down onto his full length, pulling a cry from his lungs. With a roll of your hips you start to ride his cock, keeping your fingers on his tummy. As you pick up the pace he can’t keep his eyes off your breasts, and he greedily lifts himself up to suck on your nipples. The sensation of his tongue tracing the outline of each nipple is enough to throw you off, and you have to really concentrate on the rhythm you’ve set with your hips and ass.

Months of pent-up frustration and desire find their release as you fuck Ben harder and deeper, his hands digging into your hips and thighs. “Fucking hell, Lyd, you’re amazing,” he rasps, eyes flitting between the fluid movement of your hips and the bounce of your tits. “Feels amazing. Feel good for you, too?”

You nod, not wanting to break the rhythm. With a smirk, he slips a thumb to your clit and starts to rub circles over and around it. You cry out his name in response. 

“Fuck yes, Ben, keep doing that, keep doing…that’s it, fuck!”

“Are you going to come again for me, Lyd?”, he murmurs gently, the quiet of his voice in stark contrast to the obscene, wet noises coming from your cunt and the dirty talk he’s sent tripping from your tongue.

For the third time, the tightly-wound coil snaps deep inside you. You can feel your cunt pulsing around Ben’s cock as you ride out your peak, feeling him tightening between your legs. He’s close. He sits up, pausing to kiss you and to suck on your neck for a few moments while he caresses your tits, before easing you over and onto your back again so he can finish with you underneath him.

“You’re so close,” you whisper to him as he starts to fuck you again, hard and steady. “Let go, baby. Come for me.” 

He picks up the pace, the wetness of your pussy letting him take you as hard as he wants. He’s still holding back. 

“Let go. Come in me,” you purr, hitching your hips slightly to let him go even deeper. “I want your come in me.”

That’s enough to tip him over the edge, and Ben’s rhythm stutters and finally breaks. With a gasp and a shudder you feel him come, crying out as he fills you, cock buried deep within you and beads of sweat dripping from his chest onto your tits. 

He stays put for a moment or two, panting into your neck as he tries to pull himself together. You run your fingers through the soft curls of his hair and hold him close. 

“Thank you.”

His words are almost inaudible, barely a whisper, and you aren’t entirely sure if you’ve heard them or imagined them. You respond with a kiss to the top of his head. 

After a couple of moments Ben pulls away and gets out of bed, pulling the comforter around you before crossing from his bedroom to the bathroom across the hall. He returns with a washcloth and a towel, cleaning you up and gently drying you off. He places one more kiss on your belly and smiles, moving back up to join you at the head of the bed.

You lie close together, facing each other in a comfortable silence. He strokes a little pattern on the curve of your hip while you absent-mindedly trace a finger over the constellation of dark freckles across the top of his chest. 

He tilts your chin up to look at you, stroking your cheek as his big dark eyes gaze into yours. You plant a soft kiss on the little bare patch of skin along his jaw before shifting back to look - really look - at Ben’s face, mapping it with your eyes. The slight furrow between his brows. The line of his nose. The specific shape and colour of his lips. The little divot in his bottom lip. 

“Was - was that okay?” He looks at you intently with those big, baby cow eyes, waiting for a response. 

You are surprised by the question and by how quiet and awkward he sounds, given that he’s just made you come deeper and harder than you have in years. Or maybe ever.

Three. Fucking. Times.

“It was…” you search for the right word as you run your fingers over his strong bicep, “amazing. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard before, honestly. Was it good for you too?”

He blushes, a wide smile creeping across his face. “Pretty spectacular, Lyd. You on top? I mean…” He mimes fireworks exploding with his hands, and you bury your face in his chest as you laugh. You stay like that for a little while, tucked into his side with a big, stupid smile on your face and your arm wrapped around Ben’s tummy. He holds you close to him, tilting his head to rest on yours.

The gesture brings you back, suddenly, to Halloween. His arm around your waist. Your arm around his shoulders. His head resting against you, yours against his. 

Fuck, you two are idiots.

“We should have done this ages ago,” he murmurs, and you worry for a moment that he might be able to read your mind.

You reach for his hand, twining your fingers together. 

“Was it worth the wait, Ben?”

He squeezes you tightly. “Every fucking minute.”

It’s still comparatively early when you fall asleep (the joys of a 5pm party start time), you as the little spoon, Ben dozing off with an arm around you and his hand gently holding your breast. His body is warm and comforting against your back, and you listen for a couple of minutes to the sound of his breathing slowing, steadying, into sleep. 

You don’t sleep for very long - maybe an hour or two. You blink awake, noticing that the lamp is still on, and that Ben’s broad hand is still in place against your soft skin. You caress the back of his hand with yours, trying not to wake him but wanting to feel him under your fingertips again. 

“Mmmmm. Hi, baby.” He drowsily starts to kiss the back of your neck, and his fingers begin to squeeze lightly at your nipple. It grows hard and pert as he nuzzles into your neck, his mouth tracing a line of kisses along your shoulder. You are still wet from earlier, but can feel the ache building again between your legs. He shifts closer to you, and you feel his cock, hard again, pressing against your ass. 

You keen quietly with pleasure, still sleepy, your body starting to grind against his. He whispers a question into your ear, and in response you drag his hand down your body, lifting your leg ever so slightly so he can feel for himself.

“Christ, darling, this just from me playing with your tit?”

You hum your appreciation, nodding. “Mmmm. And the orgasms.”

He chuckles quietly. “Can I have you?” He shuffles down slightly, his hard length already notching at your thighs. 

“Always,” you purr, and he reaches around to tilt your face to his. He kisses you as he lifts your leg, drapes it over his, and carefully pushes inside you. The stretch is still new, but more familiar now, and you mewl a little as he bottoms out. 

It’s slow at first, intense and intimate as he works up a rhythm while still half-asleep. He moans into your neck as he fucks you gently, praising you over and over. “You feel so good, Lyddie,” he whispers, “taking it so well.” He sucks lightly at the crook of your neck, making you whimper with pleasure. 

“You’re so beautiful. Beautiful girl,” he sighs, rolling his hips firmly but slowly as he thrusts up into your pussy. 

“I lo-... I love y-your…body. So soft for me.”

“I love your body too, baby.” You drop a hand between your legs and touch yourself. As he realises what you’re doing, he picks up the pace, fucking you harder from behind until you come with a cry.

His hand drifts to your uppermost hip, holding you in place as he fucks - and talks - you through it. “That’s it, baby. You feel so good when you come like that for me. I lo-” 

You know he’s close, both from the stuttering rhythm and the fact he can’t use his words any more. He mutters and curses as his movements become more staggered. With a moan that seems to come from the depths of his soul, he spills into you with a final thrust, panting into your back as he stays inside you for a moment. 

You turn your mouth to his again, and he kisses you with hunger and gratitude.

You are both utterly wrecked, in every sense, lying flat out on the bed together as you come down from a shared high. 

“So I know you’ve got your flight tomorrow,” he says, fingers idly running up and down your forearm, and you brace yourself for him suggesting you should probably go home. 

“But if you’d like, you can stay the night? I can drive you to your place as early as you need.” 

“If you want me to? I don’t want to impose…”

He shakes his head. “It would be a pleasure. I want you to stay, you know? Would you like something to sleep in? A t-shirt?” You nod in response. He’s holding your hand, rubbing his thumb against your palm. 

He retrieves two T-shirts and a pair of boxers from a tallboy that stands against the opposite wall of the room, holding the shirts up for your approval. 

“REM 1999 tour shirt, or study abroad souvenir?” He really is gorgeous, you think, even when he’s standing naked making silly faces and pretending to model each shirt. Actually, especially when he’s doing that. 

“Ooh, vintage Universidad de Málaga 1996, please.” He crosses back to the bed and hands you the faded red cotton shirt before pulling on his own. 

“That’s a precious relic,” he says with mock seriousness. “It is a privilege to wear that shirt.”

“Understood. I respect the power of the shirt.” You bow your head, crossing your arms across your chest reverentially and he laughs gently. 

He clambers back into bed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close under the comforter. You rest your head on his shoulder, hands on his chest, and sneak little glances up at him. He’s already starting to drift to sleep, lids heavy and breathing slowing into a steady rhythm. 

Oh, fuck. He’s so gorgeous. He’s so beautiful.

The last word slips, unbidden, from your lips, and he looks confused for a moment before breaking into a gentle, sleepy smile. “So are you.”

The afterglow is cosy and safe. He holds you close with his strong arms, and your fingers are entwined with his. It is both new and familiar, strange and reassuring; a first time, and like you’ve been doing this forever.

(bookshelf divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more; other dividers by @cafekitsune)

Further A/N: They got there. They have a long way to go (please don't hate me - it can't all be sunshine and orgasms roses). Next chapter sees some more Christmas "cheer", albeit on other sides of the Atlantic.

Thank you so much if you've been with them this far - don't forget, of course, that Lydia is just visiting...

[definitelynotshouting]

okay hello hi here to shout again because I have ROTATING the hunger lore for DAYS

ECOSYSTEMSSSSS!!! LETS GOOOO!!! did I do well in biology? No!!! I did not :D but ecosystems I know bby!!! MOONS AND STARS ABOVE I love the way it's all connected to like this huge ecosystem and the Watchers being almost gone, the Seekers being completely gone, and rhe Listeners relatively new!! Like?? That's so extremely clever and fascinating to me, and I love the way things are out of balance now bc!!! Yea!!! That's how ecosystems be!!

And also!!! It opens all these new thoughts!!! Like, I can't remember exactly if you said WHY the Watchers decided to take Grian, but if you didn't then like!!!! It opens up these possibilities of the Watchers trying to build back their population, which opens even MORE doors like "are they trying this with other players or was Grian the first/last?" And "would building their population out of Players actually help if Player-Watchers are different?" LIKE IM MEANT TO BE DOING SCHOOLWORK BUT I AM ROTATING

(and also. Love the way Grian became a Watcher. Can't remember if you specified the why (will go back and look) or if you're keeping it secret for now, but!! I love considering the ways populations adapt and survive to great loss and near extinction. It's very different from my own lore (living weapon Grian. Watchers took him to be a soldier bc Watchers and Listeners can't harm each other) so it's so fun to just think about and!!! Yeah!!! That's all I got!!!

Once again :D love your au <3 love your world building and your writing!! Was going to just send the one ask, but I cannot stop rotating your au!!! :D

-Wren

AAAAAA thank you so much!!!! :D im really pleased that everyone likes the ecosystem stuff-- ive been kinda noodling on it for a while because ecosystems are just so neat to me and it made a lot of sense to develop one when i decided Watchers were parasitic in this verse!!!!

I think ive only mentioned this offhand once or twice, but youve absolutely nailed the entire reason the Watchers took Grian-- they're trying to rebuild their population. Grian was essentially the beginning of an experiment to see if this was a suitable way to do that!!!

Actually lemme dive into that real fast, because i dont think i actually have before, at least not publicly. Something to note about Watcher life cycles is that they take comparatively a LONG time. Specifically, Watcher larvae take around a year to incubate within their hosts, and then once they "hatch" (altho "emerge" might be a better word for it) the juveniles take far longer to grow up and teach. And because these things are basically made out of wet tissue paper, theyve got a pretty high mortality rate.

So to get around that, and to try and get around the fact that juveniles often die because they dont know how to feed properly yet and often overextend themselves, why not try and copy the memory code of something fully grown and sentient and just... transfer it to a larva, so its easier to teach?? I feel like it kinda highlights the desperation the Watchers are feeling, that they'd go for this kind of wild experimentation, but it did technically work!!!

They just uh. Didnt account for the insane trauma that would cause, because to them Players are typically just viewed as food sources. Very orange and blue morality, in terms of their value systems compared to Players'.

Grian demonstrated to them that while its possible to rebuild this way on a technical level, its not actually feasible socially speaking. Grian ran from them because of the trauma they inflicted, and that sorta defeats the purpose of Watcherificating a Player so they can add to the community's population 💀💀💀💀 so yeah i'd say Grian is probably both the first and last experiment of his kind, if only because its just not reasonable to continue if your new Watchers are going to escape containment and flee to the ends of the universe every single time you make one /lh

I really love your concept with Watcher!Grian being a weapon, thats INSANELY neat holy shit!!!! Im feeling Things™ about that, i would absolutely love to hear more if you decide you want to tell me!!! It sounds like youve got some really cool symbolism in your lore, and i live for that shit >:]

Skdnwjfnmej anyway theres my own insane ramble to match your deeply flattering compliments, seriously thank you im so astonished people love this stuff so much, it makes me very very happy to know other people are spinning my concepts around in their heads :D feel free to send as many asks as you want!! I always love chatting with people :]

[yolowritter]

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to part 2 of this Au! So, I'll put forth a quick recap from last time and let everyone know what's happening in the rest of the story, yeah? Cool, now let's move right along!

Disclaimer: I’ve been gone from Tumblr for a while now, due to myriad of technical issues + prioritizing AO3 and IRL work. It’s a long story, but not to worry, I am now back and will actually remember to post frequently. Anyway, on with the AU!

As a reminder: The premise here is that Lila's grandmother (from the embassy mom's family, since until they explain this 27 mothers thing Lila has going on I am going to ignore it) once lived in Paris in the 1940s, and befriended Fu and Marianne as they were hiding the Miraculous away. Long story short, during that scene in S5 where they're escaping, Grandma Rossi gets the Fox Miraculous and helps them do so, eventually returning to Italy before Fu has deemed it safe enough to return for it. Many years later, she ends up revealing Trixx to Lila and passes the Fox onto her when her granddaughter says she's going to Paris, and tells her to be very, *very* careful with it. Lila immediately proceeds to nearly out herself with the Volpina incident. But don't worry, it's fine, she manages to get out of that situation without too much trouble. Now she's offered to be Adrien's friend, and so has Marinette. In the meantime, she's also waiting for a good oppurtunity to transform again, and try to convince Ladybug and Chat Noir that she is not a supervillain. For details, check the previous post.

Anyway, onto the rest of the show! Things stay the same for a few episodes, or...almost. Because Lila is friends with Adrien now, and by proxy Marinette who is putting her crush aside to make sure Lila isn't getting him in any trouble by also being Adrien's friend, our beloved...anti-heroine? Yeah, sure, why not? Our beloved anti-heroine happens to also get to know Alya and Nino failrly well, discreetly using Alya to get info on Ladybug and Chat Noir under the guise of helping with her blog, and Nino just for the playlists. Listen, Lila's taste in music ain't the most varied, so if there's good tunes in Nino's lists, she wants to have them too. Anyway, her friendship with the group develops more and more as she basically tries to be on her best behavior. Now...like I said last time, Lila isn't exactly the most moral person, or has any problems about absolutely (verbally) clobbering someone (meaning Chloe, most of the time) who is annoying her. And since Paris' Perfect Princess™ also happens to be a bully and screams at the same amount of decibels as a banshee before *anyone* has had their morning coffee, Lila joins up with Marinette and Alya to make sure nobody puts up with Chloe's BS.

As a consequence of this, she develops genuine friendships. I know, how horrible! But Lila isn't quite sure *how* friendship works, aside from her just holding back her snarky comments and being generally nice to the girls. So...as Marinette slowly begins to trust her more since Lila seems to just...not be going after her crush, our anti-heroine is left grappling with what exactly it means to even have friends in the first place, and if her bonds with the gang are even real considering she's mostly pretending when around them. This all comes to a head when Alya invites Marinette and Alya for a sleepover at her house...and cue the Sapotis episode to screw up everyone's night. Low and behold, there's no Rena Rouge to help LB and CN out, and since Alya ran off looking for her sisters, and Marinette is "missing" (AKA Ladybug atm), Lila finds herself alone at the house. Now, logically, she should wait this out until the heroes deal with the Akuma, since it's none of her business. Then again...there's *something* nagging her in the back of her head, a kind of itch that just makes her want to go out there do something instead of being stuck inside waiting. Could it possibly be that she's grown to care for Alya and doesn't want to see her upset? ...nah, probably the boredom! On she goes to transform and jump out the window!

Oddly enough, she notices her costume has changed a little bit since the last time. It's still very much Volpina, but this time she looks a bit more like a real fox. Slightly fluffy, swishing tail, tiny bits of fur on her ears and the ability to flick them at will (yes I will be using this to show her emotions, since I find it adorable when Chat does it), and her fangs are a bit more pronounced. Does this reflect Lila's feral nature as a total chaos gremlin? Absolutely it does! Trust me, she's a troll and it gets so much better! Anyway off she goes jumping around rooftops trying to find Alya, until eventually she comes across Ladybug, who is just kinda jumping around seemingly for no reason (She's trying to get to Fu's place without being seen by the Sapotis). Naturally, Lila jumps ahead of her and peeks her head out from behind a chimney. Ladybug yelps so hard that she physically staggers back, and Volpina finds this incredibly funny. So do I Lila, so do I... After a short moment of Marinette doing a double take, she kinda looks at Volpina with confusion. It goes something like this:

Ladybug: "Wait...Lila?" she asks, confusion evident on her face.

Volpina: "Nope, name's Cerise!" she quickly corrects her, a wide grin on her face. "I- wait, I wasn't supposed to say that! Uh...sorry!" the fox heroine yelps back, pinching the bridge of her nose. "The name's Volpina! The real one this time, promise!" she sing-songs with a tiny bow.

Ladybug: "You're the real Fox Holder?" Ladybug raises an eyebrow, clearly skeptical.

Volpina: "Yeah, Trixx absolutely adores me! So, how can I help ya miss Bug?" she asks, a chaste grin etching itself on her face. She seems almost feral, and Marinette decides to look her over.

Ladybug: Her lucky charm flashes over Volpina's form, and Ladybug examines her. It...looks like Lila's Akumatization, but also not? Her hair is a tad more orange, almost like there's faded highlights at the end of her bangs, and Volpina looks more *real*, like an actual fox rather than just a girl in a costume. "Uh...any chance you'll help us with the Akuma?" she asks again as the girl keeps flashing red in her vision, indicating she's the solution to her lucky charm.

Volpina: Volpina *grins*, flicking her tail at Ladybug. "Oh, I'll be happy to! Lead the way!" she chuckles playfully, almost like she's having fun with all this. Still Marinette jumps ahead of her, leading Lila back into the fray.

Cue the Sapotis-Land illusion and the Akuma's defeat, and Volpina hiding away the moment the fight is done so Ladybug and Chat Noir can't ask her any questions. Lila makes it back to Alya's place just in time, and jumps through the window, flopping on the couch just as the other girls also come back. She naturally makes herself look like she's been lounging around, and Marinette doesn't suspect her.

Worth mentioning that Lila was just pretending beforehand, and that Cerise is gonna be her supposed "real name" as Volpina, to throw off suspicion from her being Lila. Since Cerise doesn't actually exist in this AU (just like Lila's other 200.000 identities), it'll just be a cameo. From that day on, Lila joins Akuma fights every now and again, slowly growing into the Ladynoir banter and proving herself as an ally of sorts, while still blue skidoo-ing away before they can ask her questions. Look, she's in the *process* of crafting a new identity, this stuff ain't easy! After a couple weeks, she ends up eavesdropping on LB and CN while they're having that convo in Glaciator, where she tells him that she's got plans and whatnot. Ladybug leaves like normal, but Lila smells a wee bit off stupidity in the air, and decides to teach our dear furry a few things about how scheduling works. Low and behold, Lila actually ends up giving really good advice to Chat Noir even while actively trolling! Isn’t she miraculous? Anyway, I’ll need to go into waaaaaaay more detail about this in the next part of this AU, but I will save the specifics for part 3!

I’ll see you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous!

[princess-of-the-corner]

how am I having more thoughts on the Cardcaptor!Katsuki thing?

Okay okay some plot notes:

I'm sticking this AU in a weird-ass place! During Katsuki and Izuku's last year of middle school!

So they're not in UA, but this is post-sludge villain so they're a bit weird, Kats is NOT dealing with the trauma well, and Izuku is still training with All Might.

This does mean they're not getting involved in the main plot of bnha yet, but they /can/ run into some characters on the adventures. (Maybe the Heroes are responding to the chaos the Cards make, maybe their future classmates are caught up in said chaos, hell you can toss a villain or two in because some of them might know things about the cards).

Also this is a CC-esque au so similar canon deviations exist. Like Katsuki being transfem but not actually out yet.

Card nonsense kicks off pretty early in.

So I'm imagining that Katsuki is having a Bad Time™ and just wants to be alone for a hot minute. Wanders off during the school day and ends up in some backrooms of the school library. Finds the book with the cards. All the cards except Firey excape(because this one vibes most with her). Kero appears and while Katsuki is like ?????? he gives the plot dump of 'hey! Magic is real! You're destined to deal with this shit!"

Izuku also gets involved because he noticed Katsuki sneaking off, followed like the little fuckin stalker he is, and saw the whole card scattering/Kero infodump thing.

Katsuki and Izuku are in a weird ass place right now because it's post-sludge but pre-ua. So Katsuki is trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Izuku and whether her life is a lie and all that but hasn't really had the push to confront all that. And at first she's pissed at Izuku but Kero is a decent mediator to this situation and it's. it's the first time any kind of adult(as much of an adult as a little cat bear thing is) has kinda. Taken control and firmly but kindly said 'hey knock that shit off' so it's easier for her to really just take a step back and take a breath and actually like. Properly be able to listen to Izuku because again: Kero is saying 'hey the guy was worried about you that's a good thing' instead of 'lmao he's worried about you he thinks you can't handle this show him you can through force!'.

bonus points for Katsuki getting dragged into Izuku's nonsense and finding out 'oh you met mcfucking ALL MIGHT and he's training you as a successor????'. Which. Yeah def spins everything because fuck it All Might is the ultimate authority on right and wrong so if All Might thinks Izuku is a good person worhty of respect Katsuki is switching it up right now. (and feeling guilty for everythig in the past so whoops more of Kero being like 'kid you're FINE!!)

Swinging over to Yue! I mentioned before but he was determined to handle the passing of the torch to a new holder better than the Clow-Sakura transfer he was going in optimistically but GOD he meets Katsuki and is like "THIS??? IS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH???"

So like. He still does something similar to last time in hiding in plain sight to keep an eye on the new holder. I don't think he'll go full dual personality again because while I love Yukito that's A Lot. But also there's like.... There's not really anyone in Katsuki's life where he could slide in as a 'haha you're not going to question me being here!'.

Which leads to the idea of Yue basically faking being a teacher and is now on the Aldera staff but he's the only sane person in this place and is constantly on the verge of killing his coworkers because holy FUCK how do y'all treat children like this????

All Might gets dragged into this because Izuku has Katsuki meet him and tbh with Izuku helping Katsuki figure out the Card stuff they get into nonsense that's /technically/ vigilantism according to the law but Katsuki is the only one who can deal with the situation.

The actual collecting of the cards happens over that school years so Katsuki has all of them by the time she and Izuku go to UA (and also they're all a bit healthier about things both each other and themselves).

At UA, Katsuki initially tries to keep to just using her Quirk for this shit instead of the cards(though she's become used to using both in tandem). This only works so well beause ofc when bigger threats come out, she's not going to hold back out of some weird 'oh it's not fair to-' no people are in danger she's gonna use everything she has to save them.

So while we don't get someone Eriol-esque crafting situations, the Plot forces her to transform the Cards into her own versions.

[practically-an-x-man]

Talk shop Tuesday!

Has there ever been a time when you wanted to write something for an existing fic so badly but it didn't fit with it really and you debated posting it separately as an au fic? Did you ever decide it wasn't worth writing anyway?

Has there ever been a time when you've been a little jealous of one of your characters? Or you give a character something you want.

Has there ever been a fandom you could see yourself writing for but you never have?

How would you feel if someone beta read for you?

Is there a certain song or playlist you listen to while writing?

I hope these questions make sense

Thank you bestie!! <3

Talk Shop Tuesday

Oh, absolutely!! I've definitely done this, and when the idea is strong enough I will write it out and post it as an AU sidepiece. Torment is an alternate chapter for Bolts and Blasters. Aftermath is an additional chapter placed in between two existing chapters of A Love Once New, and Tear Us Apart is another alternate chapter/sidepiece I wrote as an AU for the later chapters. Years Ahead is an AU from my main Eris timeline, but I thought it was such an interesting idea that I wrote it anyway.

Sometimes it's hard to choose which scene I want for the actual, canon timeline and when I just can't make something fit in with that, but when it's a really vivid idea then I absolutely will still write it out and share it. It's pretty rare that I just plain scrap an idea, at least once I get to that stage in the process.

Again, ABSOLUTELY. Each of my OCs, and most of the canon characters I write for too, are in some way a reflection of myself. They aren't self-inserts by any means, but many of the themes that are present in their stories are reflections or translations of things I go through myself. As comforting as it is to write or read one of my hurt/comfort scenes, I definitely get jealous of my characters sometimes. The big ones for me are 1. unconditional gender acceptance and 2. being cared for when they're sick/in pain/dealing with disabilities, it's both super comforting to read and also makes me a little jealous since I don't really get to experience that in my real life. And I get super jealous of Warren and any other characters who have wings/are able to fly, since I WISH I could do that.

I'm sure I could dip my toe in the Fallout fandom if I felt like it, I enjoyed the show and I think I could come up with some neat fic ideas. And technically I do have a Fallout OC... my courier for New Vegas, which I started playing and really need to get back to lol. The whole universe just has some really interesting worldbuilding, and just the right balance of darkness and intrigue that usually pulls at me for writing ideas.

I mean... I wouldn't be offended or anything, but I've never sought it out. I don't have anything against beta readers and I know they can be a huge help, but I just get so excited about posting my writing once it's done that I can't imagine waiting for someone else to read it first and delay when I get to post it lol XD

Nope! I don't really listen to music when I write, I usually just have a show or movie (or YouTube videos) on in the background for white noise. When I was in college I would actively pick something for myself (usually something I've seen before, so I can enjoy it but don't have to pay attention to understand it), but since I've been home it's mainly just been whatever my family decides to have on the TV. And when I really need to focus I'll go where it's quiet, since sometimes the silence helps me fall into the story and visualize it more clearly.

[mdverse]

teehee you told me to drop by so i'm asking the most important question of them all.... of the main new directions who do they bias in bts and how much do they like bts 🤭

hi u are so real for this sorry this has taken me a while to get to!! been trying to organise my thoughts but i'm still not fully set on things. i guess ill do this from like. most to least likely to enjoy bts? (also i will say i have thoughts on the vb au squad specifically! i don't remember them in detail and they're probably similar to what i've written here but i def remember talking about it with mist)

tina: 100% most likely to be an army also def a once and a sone but that's not relelvant here! girlie has taste and i love that for her <3 she has jimin stan energy to me, i think she'd see the similarities between him and mike and she'd have a major soft spot for that

sugar: not technically one of the main new directions but i wanted to include her anyway bc i bet she loves bts. she has that vibe. she'd have all the merch and could very easily spend hundreds of dollars on concert tickets for herself and tina and anyone else who wanted to come. idk how she'd feel about the older eras but she'd def be a fan of the more poppy songs (maybe hyyh-onwards? def enjoys the LY/MOTS eras). probably a big vocal line fan, specifically jin and possibly jungkook as a bias wrecker

brittany: i think she'd enjoy bts a lot tbh! idk if she'd dive deep into fan theories or keep up with stuff like run bts but she'd def vibe with their music and i would kill to see her do the dance challenges or even full dance covers. i'd say she's hobi-biased but also just a big fan of 3J/sunshine line

blaine: i think he'd enjoy their more recent eras! mainly LY/MOTS-onwards i think? he has boy with luv/dynamite vibes. major jungkook stan in my head but i think he would really enjoy joon's lyrics/writing style

mike: def introduced to bts through tina dkfjgh but i think he'd get sucked in by the dance practices and the live performances even if the music itself isn't necessarily stuff he'd listen to! probably a 3J stan, if i had to pick one i'd very hesitantly say jimin

santana: idk if she'd listen to them regularly but. i do think she'd vibe a lot with agust d's albums? and i also think she'd find mono and indigo really soothing. epiphany would alter her brain chemistry and no one can tell me otherwise! i know for a fact that she would cry at that song. namgi fan

quinn: casual bts listener i think? def a joon stan tho i don't make the rules here!! i do also think she'd enjoy jin's voice a lot

artie: i feel like bts would be a guilty pleasure for him? idk if he'd be super invested but he would enjoy some of their music and he would def have an appreciation for the mvs! musically i'd say he enjoys tae the most but he def thinks jimin is ridiculously pretty

sam: hmmm sam is one i feel much less familiar with. mist said u guys have talked about blamtina being armys together and i can kinda see that? he does also kinda seem like he'd consider them a guilty pleasure to me tho. jin or jungkook stan energy

mercedes: secondhand fan through tina! idk if she'd listen to them on her own but if tina is around she doesn't mind listening to them. there's bound to be at least one song that hits hard for her but idk what it is rn. i think she'd appreciate tae's voice the most?

kurt: also introduced to them through tina! idk if i see him being much of a kpop fan but i do think he'd appreciate the aesthetics and the artistry of it all. i think he'd like jungkook bc he gets blaine vibes from kookie? alternatively there's sth about him that makes me think jimin stan

puck: bts doesn't really have much rock music so i guess puck wouldn't be super interested in most of it but i feel like there are probably a few songs he might enjoy just vibe-wise? maybe stuff like stigma, house of cards? i also inexplicably get a hip hop fan vibe from him despite that not being a thing in canon so i could potentially see him vibing with their earlier eras and stuff like the cyphers and being biased towards the rap line? but i'm not very set on that

finn: doesn't strike me as much of a kpop fan tbh but i think there are a couple of songs here and there he might like (fake love rocking mix!). idk if he'd actually ever remember any of their names tho kdfjgh he'd probably pick a different bias every time he's asked bc he never pays enough attention to recognise any of them

rachel: does not have kpop fan vibes to me at all but i find it hard to read her so i could be wrong there? idk i don't think she'd really listen to their music since she is so showtunes to me. that being said i think if she had to pick a fav it would be jungkook if only bc of the gold star/golden maknae association

[raccoonfallsharder]

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟupdated 12/6

18+ only | rocket x f!oc | 21/27 Chapters | WIP | Word Count: pending. ♡ check the masterlist for expected updates ♡ ♡ see the "holiday special" ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ [new 12/5] ♡

girl falls first; racoon falls harder.

The rotation drags past. Jolie picks at her dinner. She’s been flushed and nervous since breakfast, and it’s only getting worse. Pete’s been looking at her with creased, concerned brows, and Gamora pretends not to notice, focusing all her attention on Groot and asking him if he wants to spend the night with her. Rocket’s just quiet all day. Watchful. All Jolie can think about is that she hasn’t done this in ages - this meaning sex, of course. Not since a few years before she’d left Terra, and never all that many times. As a teenager and a young woman, she’d been too preoccupied with trying to find a way to get to her sister. Honestly, the majority of her expertise comes second-hand from her last Terran roommate, who had been not only extremely active but happy to regale anyone who would listen with stories of their exploits. Jolie’s gotten rave reviews on the very few blowjobs she’s given, which she knows she can credit in part to Angela’s impromptu re-enactments with a narrow bottle of body mist. And this would be different anyway: Jolie’s past encounters had been with clumsy, entitled, thick-fingered boys who’d fumbled against her skin sweatily, and called her so beautiful like it was a line out of an instruction manual: just a thing you say to a girl you’re banging. She’d always left those encounters with the ghost of desire: never even fanned to full-flame, much less quenched. On the rare occasions when she hasn’t faked an orgasm to get them off her, she’s provided it for herself. But Rocket, with his fleeting, meticulous hands…if he gives one-tenth of the attention to her body that he does to building a bomb, she knows she’s going to come apart in seconds.

[NEW 12/6] ✧･ﾟ:*Chapter XXI. I Very Still. in which our heroes get fucked. in the good way, this time. finally.

the moment you’ve all been waiting for. im not nervous at all ~♡

General summary/notes + links to recently preceding chapters behind the cut.

let me know via comment, message, or ask if you'd like to be added or removed from my fanfic taglist ♡

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies). let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units.in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. *in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which Rocket ~ discreetly ~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. *

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. ❤︎❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ A Holiday Special *

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short/drabbly, silly fluff.

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @pretty-chips ♡ @suicidalshitstick ♡ @glow-autumz

[azzie-tangerine]

Marx 2, 8, 16, 24, 37

Gooey 2, 9, 17, 26 (Dedede for the insert character here), 41

Oooh characters I don't often talk about! Or at least with Gooey.

Marx: A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

I got two for you here. 1, I like Nova!Marx. Like Susie, he's part robotic. This is due to the wish he made on Nova. He technically doesn't need to blink, his eyes are glass. And his heart rate sounds more like a clock. And that teal stuff? Motor fluid.

Another headcanon I love (is it implied?) is the idea that Marx and Kirby were childhood best friends. It explains why Kirby listened to Marx's idea about getting Nova involved when the sun and moon were fighting. They trusted Marx's judgement. It makes Marx's betrayal hurt a lot more, you know?

They're on good terms now, and Marx has been (mostly) forgiven. But they're no longer as close as they used to be.

Marx: Unpopular opinion about them

Another opinion that I am unfortunately guilty of in the past. But I don't like the feralization/dumbing down of Marx's character that ppl in the fandom have done. He is chaotic, sure. But he's not stupid. He's not a wild animal that Magolor has to detain. He knows when to back off from a prank. It just takes a lot of pushing before that limit is made.

Marx: Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

This one ties into the headcanon question. Marx misses the old friendship he used to have with Kirby. He misses the days where the two just hung out. One on one. Marx's betrayal ruined that friendship. Sure, they're friendly again, Kirby still calls them friends. But Marx knows they won't ever be the same. And he kinda resents trying to take over Popstar out of boredom.

Marx: Most annoying habit

Marx in general is a very loud person. He doesn't know how to use an inside voice, or maybe he does and just likes yelling. No one quite knows. All everyone knows is that he's unbearable to hang out with for long periods of time, and no one gets how Magolor does it.

Marx: What they really think about themselves

Like Magolor, Marx has an ego. He thinks he's the funniest, best jester in Popstar. Maybe even the entire universe! He has the evidence to show that he's funny, because he always makes himself laugh! And others do too of course. And he does make pretty good schemes. And good pranks.

Gooey: A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

This one is thanks to a certain next gen au. But Gooey later learns how to use the Rainbow Sword! He did look up to Dark Matter Swordsman after all, in a way. This is a long while after Star Allies, and it does weird some citizens out that he holds the sword with his tongue. but then again, Gooey grabs everything with his tongue. He doesn't have hands.

Gooey: Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

You know that image in one of the cutscenes where Gooey's just vibing and eating a fish? That specific image. In that moment I knew I loved and related to Gooey and just vibing.

Gooey: Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

I am so sorry anon. But I currently cannot think of anything that I associate with Gooey in the form of songs and such. I do associate Failboat with Gooey, but only cause the youtuber loves him.

Gooey: What they would do if stuck in an elevator with Dedede

I have the headcanon that Gooey is... wary of Dedede. Gooey was around when Dedede was a jerk, after all. Gooey remembers how mean they used to be to Kirby. And sure, Dedede has changed a lot since then. But Gooey, still being young, ends up being a little petty about it. So if they were both on an elevator, Gooey would be completely silent in a corner away from the king.

Dedede tries his best to be friendly. And Gooey warms up to him eventually.

Gooey: If they could have lunch with anyone in the world (living or dead, from any fictional universe or the real world), who would it be?

I think Gooey would actually pick Void Termina on this one. Gooey takes a lot after Kirby, just being a lot more naive. Gooey looks up to Kirby in general. He, like his idol, wants to see the best in people. And besides, he's dark matter, and he's good! Kirby's related to them in some way, and he's good! So surely, all dark matter can be good if they wanted to? Dark Matter Swordsman could be good...

So with no hesitation, they'd resurrect the world destroyer that almost ruined the universe. Just to have lunch with them and try to convince them to be good.

[shadowy-suitcase-herring-neck]

The Ring of Elements

(Ninjago gladiator type au ig)

this was inspired in part by @marmaleye 's Havoc au and i recommend checking it out.

The premise is that elemental masters are seen as dangerous and are feared. Sometimes they are just hunted but a few people see ways to use the powers for their own agenda. One of those being a sort of Chen/Iron barron fusion character. (both characters had attributes I wanted the sort of ringleader to have to i combined them. The power of aus :) ) I think I'm going to say His sort of stage name to be "Iron Barron" while his real name is just Chen. He collects elemental masters to throw into his "Ring of elements" A sort of arena where he pits elemental masters against one another (as well as anything or anyone else he feels like) and people pay to watch.

The victor of the fight is awarded a "Jade blade" which is a tattoo/mark of a green blade. He tells his fighters that "collect enough and you will be set free" no one has ever collected enough. The fights between elemental masters are non lethal technically since Chen doesn't feel like trying to continually track down new elementals. Some. If the other people or other creatures fighting aren't elemental masters the "non lethal" aspect is pretty much thrown out the window.

each elemental master has body modifications to make them look more monstrous. Most common being fake horns. They also all have masks that cover their lower face. it was something that was mandated after fighters kept talking to each other during fights to try and convince each other not to fight one another. These "masks" are often a part of the body modifications. The Ninja (technically not ninja in the au) are elemental masters Chen has managed to capture. Not the only ones but they're a close-knit group. This doesn't mean they don't have to fight one another often. They used to try and refuse but that ended in worse consequence than just fighting one another. Wu is a prisoner only The "ninja" know about. aside from Chen obviously but he doesn't know the others know. Though none of them ever really see him they will sit by the small crack in the wall where they can talk to him and talk to him, listen to his advice, and in general find comfort in him

Kai and Nya (who are twins in this au) where both young teens when Chen found them. Zane's age was and still is unknown as he had no memories of before the Ring he seems only a little older than the others though. Cole was in his mid teens same as Jay in fact they where brought in at the same time and where friends before. Lloyd was only about ten. Keep in mind all of them are around the same age this was just how old they where when they arrived at the ring

Feel free to ask about a more specific background and stuff for one of them if you want. I just like rambling to anyone who wants to listen. and questions help me organize thoughts better. You could also ask some world building questions too. I have some fun ideas for the arena itself :D

[blorbobird]

LUCEMOND

hotd × harry potter au

Lucerys Strong liked his life, thank you very much.

The second born son with nearly no heavy duty responsibilities placed upon him. It was a simple, adaptable living. Nothing overly splendid but he found himself in no position to complain ( just yet). He had learned to take things less seriously than his older brother , Jacerys , whilst taking nothing for granted along with it.

That doesnt mean however that his life was perfect. No, no. The life he was born into was rather fucked from the start. The core of its blams could be placed upon the family he was made into. His mother's side, truthfully.

Power hungry pure-bloods that had a taking for insanity and greed. Targaryen. The name alone was a caution tale for all knowing or at least somewhat aware. With their fiery tempers and unwavering need for control , it all had been a passed down trait along with the ivory-white blonde hair and lilac eyes, like any other natural chromosome gene. Neither of which Luke or his brother Jace possessed physically. The rest however…

Have it be noted that Lucerys resembled his now-deceased birth farther, Harwin Strong, on an exterior forefront mainly . With large brown doe eyes that looked more bambi-like than threatening, and a mop of unruly curls that lay ontop of head with a mind of its own.

He was soft, for a Strong.

Cute where he was meant to be seen as manly. The kind that causes girls to friend-zone you in two sentences flat. The kind that boys instantly take you as No Real Threat to any given topic. But if having your cheeks pinched by your mother too frequently is the hardest thing going on in your existence then well … you really can't complain.

You can complain however if it's those big brown eyes that get you into more trouble than good. These adorable things? You'd think it'd do the opposite. But never anything was as simple as that. Or maybe Luke wasn't lucky? If he could bat his eyelashes in the way he saw pretty-girls do, or adorable little puppy dogs, then he would've. Merlin knows he's tried.

His eyes were wanted. Well, one of them? Technically. For a long over-paid debt by the very man making eye contact with him right now.

" Im gonna die," Luke chokes out under his breath. Turning his head away from the gaze currently being inflicted on him from a few tables down.

Flipping a brown strand of hair behind her shoulder as she reads. "Calm down. Its going to be easy." Maris Baratheon hums as she flips a page. " Just a recap of the hexes we learned last year. Maybe that Boggart summary -"

An exasperated sigh leaves the fifth-years mouth. "Not in DADA class!" He presses his elbows to the table and lets his forehead fall onto his palms.

She nearly looks up from her new assigned work book. "Why not? After the smoke-screen charm 'mishap' from last year Id be pretty concerned about Professor Daemon wanting to kill me," A side-ways glare causes her to stir finally. Wide eyed. "Is there another welcome back pop quiz I should be preparing for? Honestly, I swear if its herbology Im ringing you by your ear —"

"You know for the smartest sister out of your siblings you sometimes really are daft!" He sassily remarks looking towards her eyes finally. She stares back, slightly offended, but letting him continue for once before she rambles too much. "You remember that man I told you about? The one that I maimed?"

A ghost of a smile plays on her lips. "The one you told us about in third year? C'mon you're still going on with that lie?" The idea of Lucerys maiming anyone seemed humorous. Unachievable, even. He hadnt even been the sporty brother. Frankly, he'd been known for fainting at a mandrakes scream on more than one occasion.

He never did listen to those warnings of putting on the ear muffs correctly. Luke didn't listen in general.

"Its true!" He gasps sitting up finally and nearly swatting her arm. "Don't believe me? Look towards the Durmstrang table. They're sitting at the end of Slytherins."

Last night they had arrived during dinner. The lot of them, less then twenty but more then ten. Those Beauxbatons students too but they hadnt been the cause of his headaches. His paranoia. The acute awareness of the ticking time bomb above his head.

Maris' eyes scan for a moment before an shocked intake of breath. Maybe she caught on quick or maybe, just maybe , it hadnt been all that hard to find the person sending a death glare across the dining hall. A known presence to those seeking. A bulking shadow.

Aemond "One-Eye" Targaeryn. Brooding as always.

"You did that to him?!" She says in mainly shock alone.

"Im guessing he's still staring?" Luke didnt dare to seek a second peak. Especially when he can feel a small concentrated hole starting to burn its way into the side of his skull.

"I dont even think he's blinking, babes, Imma be honest." Maris is unable to look away apparently. Its like a car accident. A burning, dare she say hot, tragedy to tear your eyes away from. "You maimed a Targareyn? The moody one? The evil one?"

"He's not necessarily evil?" Luke picks up his fork. Trying to find something to do with his hands to seem busy. To try and make the conversation not seem so obvious. "He's just Machiavellian and a Byronic-wannabe." Although Luke knew death could be a very plausible possibility with the kind of psychopath he was dealing with, he had grown up not feeling overly-threatened by it.

He found it humorous ... sort of. He shouldn't have, he knew that. Some part of him knew he should be scared, truly. But adapting possible trauma into humor was the only way Luke learned to cope towards things. It was all just a funny misunderstanding. Yes .

One where he possibly ends up six feet under or bleeding on the floor and screaming. He spiraled last night after seeing Aemond enter the Great Hall. A quick study of what to do if your eye is gouged suddenly from your head. The books in the library said to close the other and try not to move it because eyes mimic each other. If you apply pressure —

" Are you even listening to me?" Maris whisper-scolded with an elbow to the ribs. "You've zoned out again."

A stab to the peas on the plate and he watches them scatter. The butter he smeared previously has gone cold and is making the vegetable stick to the plate as they roll. "Im just thinking of what a joyous last meal this is. Maybe we can sneak to Honeydukes later and get some of those lemon cakes?"

" Stop joking-"

A pointed look. "I never jest about cake,"

A smack over the back of the head causes him to wince. "You're not dying!" She rubs the back of his head in an apology for how hard she smacks. "He's not gonna kill you,"

He dares a sneak finally. Aemond's eye stares him down with an emotionless expression. The way his large hand wraps around his knife however? The white knuckled grip of death that Luke can practically already imagine suffocating him into a inky, black, nothingness …

" He's gonna kill me and he's gonna like it," Enough is enough and Luke finally looks away. Trying not to imagine that twisted cutlery metal as his spine bending. "He's so much larger then he was years ago,"

Its an odd observation but true. Lucerys remembers even less about Bulgaria than his family seems to believe. A bit more than his younger brother, Joffery , who had been but a babe at the time. He hadnt even started school yet. He had been shorter than he was now of course and the towers of snow seemed so tall. The harsh, cold rain that still sends chills down his spine at the thought.

The funeral. The yelling under fyre-light. He just wanted the screaming to stop. The way the curse dripped so easily from Aemonds lips. Like venom, like poison. Wandless and young, untaught cruel magic.

Luke wasnt good at magic now hardly and he hadnt been then. The slice of metal through air then blood. So much blood. The screams only got worse, but it wasn't Jace who had been crying them anymore.

It had been nearly a decade ago when they fled. Daemon Targareyn, his mothers uncle, provided them with lodging near the school he taught Defense Against the Dark Arts at.

The last time he saw him, them , any of them. It had been that night after Alicent had gone after young Lucerys in return. Shortly after Harwins death. Enough had been enough. A young Rhaenyra fled with her children to England. Jace had gotten his letter to Hogwarts some time after. They made it their new home.

Luke adapted quickly. As quickly as he could. The less toxic life style away from Pure-blood greed was comforting. The constant scolds for being turned half-blooded nearly didnt matter here. Sure, some of the Slytherin families held prejudice. No one who mattered to him. It was shrugged and waved off other wise.

It was a modern age anyway. Most wizards and witches were half-bloods in this new age of 1976. Muggles , non magic folks , had a lots of interesting things to bring to the table.

Music, for starters. Music he wouldnt have heard otherwise. Art and poetry and movies and groovy new clothes. All these things he focused himself off because he wasnt perhaps best at the rest of it all. Magic, swords, dragons …

"Ya know what?" Luke starts. The cold plate of peas and the distant thought of drowning panicked sorrow in Lemony-sweets going on pause. "Im not gonna die."

"Thats spirit!"

"By Aemond or Mister Daemon-"

… " Now, thats a bit bold I'm not gonna lie." Maris whispers in a slightly judgy tone.

"I just," He squares his shoulders and sits straighter. "I just need to kpen up his perspective,"

"You need to open up his what now?"

He ignores and continues. "Show him? That he's wrong and that he can't have my eye or my life and neiTHER will be his because of his sick twisted — "

Maris pupils widen and theres suddenly a shadow looming from somewhere over him.

"My sick twisted what now?" A cool, liquid metal voice spills its way into Lucerys ears. Maybe reality hits a bit finally as goosebumps spread and a bit of fear kicks in.

A wince. A breath.

Lucerys tilts his head up slowly. Meeting the unwavering glare of Aemond Targaryen as he stands some where behind him. Above him. Peering down at Luke like he's the smallest thing he's ever gazed upon. Something to step on and squish where he stands. Something that belongs under his heel.

"Oh, yeah. Im dead."