#listen it would be hilarious

[dragormir]

Theron Shan should be Darth Malgus' son.

No, listen, it would make things so much funnier. (Or darker, or both, it really depends on how you want to picture his conception.) But leave aside the fact that his canonical father is the OG Havoc Squad leader. Screw that.

His father should be Darth Malgus. It makes so much sense. You have the sole offspring of two wildly powerful Force wielders, so it makes sense that he would be a Force wielder too. So you send him to Tython and put him under the guardianship of one of the most respected Jedi in existence, the same one who's been responsible for the training of almost every single Master currently serving on the Jedi Council. Because that's the only person you trust to keep an eye on the child of a Dark Councilor (even if he doesn't know that part yet).

Because if Theron is Darth Malgus' child? That means he has an equal potential to become a powerful Sith. And the last thing the galaxy needs is a Sith lineage springing up from the bloodline of the one who sacked Coruscant.

So you take him to Tython, and you put him with a venerable Jedi master who trained most of the current Council, and you pray to the Force and every god that might be listening that he never Falls.

(And then try really hard not to cry in relief when, twenty years later, it turns out that Theron has the Force sensitivity of a brick.)

[benevolenterrancy]

A man needs a hobby while he's waiting for his beloved disciple to return from the dead and torture him!!!

(SQQ is a complete fucking freak and I love him so much)

[tatos-stick-pile]

listen if it IS CORN DOG GUY THE MATCH UP WOULD BE FUNNY AS HELL @0ketinha ursed ur dark btw

[qiu-yan]

zhancheng to me is like this:

imagine a scenario in which jiang cheng actually does know quite a lot about lan wangji's tastes: his favorite and least favorite tea flavors, snacks, food, books, music, authors and artists, and so on.....except jiang cheng specifically sought out this information during the 13 year timeskip to make lan wangji miserable.

maybe lan wangji is just publicly A Bitch to him one too many times and jiang cheng finally decides he's had enough. so, for the next few months, jiang cheng spends an inordinate amount of time gradually sussing out everything he can learn about lan wangji's tastes. what kind of tea does he like? what kind of tea does he despise? which authors does he always read? what temperature does he prefer his room to be? what new trends in music does he find completely unbearable? when he passes through a region whose cuisine he hates, which restaurants does he find slightly less intolerable?

and then, the next time there's a discussion conference at lotus pier, jiang cheng weaponizes this knowledge. actually, the next time there's a public event anywhere wherein both jiang cheng and lan wangji are in attendance, jiang cheng weaponizes the fuck out of this knowledge. he makes sure that the tea lan wangji hates the most is served to everyone. he has his disciples buy all the local snacks he knows lan wangji has a preference for, just so lan wangji can't have any. he makes sure lan wangji's room and bed are heated to the exact temperature lan wangji finds just too hot to be comfortable. whenever lan wangji's favorite obscure author releases a new work that gusu lan doesn't think is cultivation-related enough to include in their library, jiang cheng has a bunch of his disciples swoop in and buy as many copies as possible, just so that it takes lan wangji a bit longer to get his hands on a volume. jiang cheng "leaks" to a few minor sect leaders the idea that lan wangji actually does like spicy food, and said minor sect leaders actually believe that information for a full year of hosted visits and public events.

this continues for all 13 years of the timeskip. of course, jiang cheng isn't outstandingly successful in actually making lan wangji miserable, because there are limits to what jiang cheng can actually achieve and what he's actually willing to spend enough time on; realistically, all he's accomplishing is causing lan wangji some minor irritations once in a while. but it's enough for jiang cheng to know that, every time lan wangji has to pass through yunmeng, he's absolutely miserable because jiang cheng has persuaded/paid every musician in the area to play the one song lan wangji hates the most.

jin guangyao, of course, figures out what's going on immediately. but even loyalty to lan xichen isn't going to make him sacrifice potentially useful dirt by putting a stop to jiang cheng's asshole behavior himself, so instead he just decides to watch and wait. he also just finds it really funny. meanwhile, lan wangji, for all 13 of these years, never figures out what's going on. he never figures out why he can't ever find the lanling-style osmanthus cakes he hates slightly less than the rest of lanling cuisine whenever he passes through the area and runs into disciples from yunmeng jiang. when his favorite obscure author releases a new book, he gets in line at the indie bookstore in qinghe he went out of his way to visit, and just doesn't question why everyone in front of him is wearing purple.

postcanon, though....now lan wangji has one hell of a source of insider information (wei wuxian), so the turns are about to get fucking tabled.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

i was struck by a vision of them being besties…in another arc/life maybe 😓💔

[boringa55binch]

Rival

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

Baizhu design :V ? For funsies totally not going to draw him or anything

had way too much fun with this one hahah

[ar-mage-ddon]

to put it lightly i was possessed

[lunar-wandering]

do y'all think Macaque is falling back into the role that Azure and the others put on him by remaining on the outskirts of the group because he thinks his input/presence is unwanted (and yeah his presence isn't really wanted by MK and the others BUT. something about the fact Macaque is placing himself at the edge of the group, the edge that Azure and the others pushed him to, doesn't really sit well)

[drbtinglecannon]

Anyone else here think about Laios/Shuro/Kabru or is it just me

[benevolenterrancy]

Hi I have caught up to you on having feelings about Zhuzhi-Lang. He's a good boy! 🥺 Good snake boy! 🥺 I had the thought, after Zhuzhi let SQQ leave after SQQ yelled at him... what if they Stole Him. What if.

(Also have you read/been recommended anything by corduroyserpent yet? Big writer of Zhuzhi-Lang fics, including a very cute de-aged Zhuzhi-Lang and some zhushen)

Justifications of bride-stealing!

(AND HE'S THE BEST BOY 😭 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, SO MUCH!! have some further au thoughts because this has contaminated my brain...)

What I think would actually happen if they stole SQQ? Absolutely nothing good for anyone, LBH would Lose His Fucking Mind xD as a more interesting answer though, I like the idea that Shen "Pedantic Nitpicky Asshole" Qingqiu's primary point of argument is that he is not a bride so he cannot be "bridenapped" regardless of demonic tradition or intention!

This eventually leads to them all completely avoiding the Maigu Ridge incident because TLJ realizes that, somehow, SQQ doesn't realize the depths of his son's feelings for him and decides to put all his efforts into being a wingman for his nephew instead because he finds the entire thing absolutely hilarious and rather satisfying after his own sad romance. Obviously someone like SQQ would do much better with his good, loyal nephew than the disappointing offspring of that disastrous relationship!

As for ZZL he just has to assume that LBH must not be treating SQQ anywhere near the way he should be (and like... he isn't wrong at this point, there is a non-zero amount of torture and terror going on here) if SQQ doesn't see himself as being tied to LBH in any way. And if he's not attached to LBH then there's absolutely no reason he shouldn't make his own efforts to seduce SQQ! After all, if LBH isn't valuing SQQ properly then obviously ZZL has to step up because someone as kind as SQQ deserves the best!!!

[kens-ramblings]

so ik i’ve seen a lot of hcs for what the batfam would listen to in the bat mobile and for tim a lot of people say that he listens to podcasts. which like yes i can see that but i also think if he is like podcasted out(bc i get that way so i think he does too) he listens to like cunty, trashy music in it. like they are on their way to a drug bust and tim is on aux and all the sudden you hear like ayesha erotica playing. and the goons are like “oh shit it’s spoiler!!! ,,,,, is that red robin????” so here is a list of artists/songs i think tim fucks w/ hard core when he is on patrol.(to preface he avoids pop-punk on patrol if he knows people will hear his music bc tim drake-wayne is known for enjoying it in my head so red robin is when he lets out the more suprising side of his music taste)

ayesha erotica(as stated)

kesha

mindless self indulgence

6arelyhuman

ppcocaine

slayyyter

conceited by flo milli

tia tamara by doja cat

lady gaga

kim petras

it girl- sped up ver by aliyah’s interlude

charlie xcx

[build-a-bruce]

Being an intern for Clark Kent would be chaotic as hell.

Like for an international news company, having a boss like Clark is a godsend. He’s genuinely nice, happy to have you there, and does not treat you as lesser just because you’re an intern. He’s not making you do coffee runs, and is actually interested in the topics that impassion you as a writer.

Problem is, bro’s gone….a lot.

Many times have you turned the corner to find his desk empty. He never left a note or sent a message notifying you that he’d be gone, and you have deadlines you have to meet per your professor. Your articles require his review and signature before you turn in the assignment, and when the hell does he sleep because he’ll send 3am emails with ‘Good job! 😁’ and ‘Nice detail!’ in response to your articles and thank you but Mr Kent that was due hours ago at midnight and where did you run off to when we had to evacuate the building earlier!? He has to email your professor and explain it’s his fault you turned in work without his signature. His timing is so off you wonder if he’s even bothering to read your work before signing it.

The next day he brings coffee and apologizes for his tardiness, and he seems genuinely sorry. He scratches the back of his head while sheepishly explaining that a lot of times he waits until the last minute to submit his own work. You briefly wonder how he keeps a job, then you read his latest article and you understand why.

He tries to make up for it by inviting you along to a Wayne Enterprises charity event and thank god it’s being held in Metropolis because you refuse to go to Gotham; you don’t have the insurance to step foot into Gotham. And you are appalled, pleased, yet slightly disturbed to witness Bruce Wayne clearly eye fucking him, running his hands over Clark’s lapels, making Clark clear his throat and nod his head to the side to indicate that you can see them! Mr. Wayne offers to give a quote to “apologize” for what you just witnessed, and you’re able to sparse through his quips enough to splice together a quote for your article. When he leaves, you and Clark lock eyes and you can see the ‘please don’t’ in his eyes in response to the ‘holy fuck’ in yours, and you promise him you won’t tell anyone that him and Bruce Wayne are bending each other backwards…

Your internship ends and you’re kinda sad to have to leave. You made great connections, and despite his absences, when Clark was there he was the best you’ve ever worked for.

So after your graduation, you head out with your friends and get so drunk you start checking your emails. And there’s an email from Clark with a cute little digital ‘Con-grad-ulations’ card signed by him and many others from the Planet. There’s a pdf attached, and you open it and have to swallow down impending tears. It’s a document containing all of Clark’s favorite quotes from each of the articles you submitted, along with how it made him feel.

So yeah, he’s kind of a hurricane of a man with his constant disappearances and late submissions and wrinkled shirts with coffee stains and khakis and country idioms and his secret affair with billionaire Bruce Wayne and again holy fuck, but he’s the best you’ve ever worked for, an exceptional writer, and a good soul. Clark Kent sure is one of a kind.

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

The most underutilized thing about the SVSSS fandom is the potential comedy of Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun being friends

[breakbeatbun]

my wicked past come back to haunt me

[moonshere]

Been thinking a lot about this “the family plays isat” AU and how it might happen

Siffrin would probably refuse for them to play it if he was aware of it (thinking about how they said when learning about the diary in the library that they would hate it if someone read their deepest thoughts) and the rest of the family would also respect that, because it really would be a breach of trust. They’d prefer it if Siffrin talked to them himself, after all.

A situation I could see it happening is if, post-Loop battle, Siffrin’s Craft exhaustion got so severe he gets knocked out for a full week or two, maybe more! And the family would be so worried and desperate to understand what happened so that if the game appeared to them suddenly, they’d be tempted enough to play through it. If only just to figure out how to help Siffrin wake up again

(and probably a mixture of other emotions too, wanting to see the conversations Siffrin had with them that they don’t remember, feeling guilty that they didn’t notice soon enough, terrified that Siffrin is hiding something else. I mean, Siffrin straight up did not mention the Loop battle to them at all, even after they promised to talk! so they’d be worried on what happened there already)

Honestly I think all of them would also be exhausted and on bed rest after the whole quest to defeat the King was over, it took months of constant movement and stress so the whole family would crash hard afterwards. Cuz of that they’d be stuck together on like the infirmary or a private room with strict orders to take it easy, what better time to play the game than that?