#listen i will not be talking about my personal mental health journey on tumblr so this is the closest you're gonna get me to talk about it
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I’ve been thinking about your sifstem au recently, and was wondering what inspired it? I was wondering mainly, because I don’t know much about systems so I’m kinda curious which parts of Siffrin’s character could be interpreted as him being a system.
Hope my question makes sense! Have a nice day!
A: Siffrin constantly talking to themself + heavy trauma + major memory issues. All system stuff, it was a lil idea me and @neoncityrain chatted a lot about and all of a sudden I turned it into a whole fic.
B:Below image. I will not elaborate
#isat#isat siffrin#listen i will not be talking about my personal mental health journey on tumblr so this is the closest you're gonna get me to talk about it#I'm figuring things out. and talking about mental health on the internet is. yknow. not advised. lmao#but#you get this#in stars and time
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I got something to say....
Hello, everyone.
I stand here today, not just to address the situation that’s been affecting me, but to talk about the journey I’ve been on. This journey has been filled with challenges, accusations, and misunderstandings, but also with self-reflection, growth, and the desire to learn from my past mistakes.
First, let me acknowledge the toll that this situation has taken on my mental health. It hasn't been easy to deal with constant harassment, false accusations, and the overwhelming pressure of being misunderstood. But despite the pain and hurt, I remain unfazed. I stand strong because I know that my intentions have always been rooted in protecting others. It may hurt to see people turn against me, but I won't let that break me. I will continue to stand my ground.
I didn’t get here overnight. My origin was simple: I just wanted to protect. I wanted to shield others from harm, especially when I saw reckless behavior or harmful actions being taken. But I know now that I made mistakes along the way. There was a time when I was reckless myself—when I acted out of frustration instead of understanding. I tried to stop a user without considering the full consequences of my actions. Over time, I realized that the aggressive path I was taking was not the right one. So, I moved on and chose a peaceful approach. A peaceful path for myself and for those I care about.
I’ve learned a lot since then. The accusations that have been thrown my way have been hard to bear, but I’ve tried to handle them with patience and grace. I’ve learned that being overprotective can be just as damaging as being neglectful. In my attempt to shield others, I may have gone too far. I understand that now. It wasn’t just about protecting the minor in question, but about respecting her space, her growth, and her choices. As much as I care about her well-being, I’ve come to realize that I cannot control her actions. I can only offer advice, guidance, and support.
So, to the minor I’ve been looking out for—
Please listen @your-dead-girl-forever-200k, all I want you to know that my intentions have always been to keep you safe. But I also recognize that the dynamic between us has become too much, and I don't want to harm your mental health further. I do not want to encourage aggressive or reckless behavior toward Proshippers or anyone else. Please, don’t let your frustrations get the better of you. There’s a better way to deal with things—by simply blocking and avoiding those who don’t align with our views. Stalking, harassment, and aggression only hurt you in the end.
And to my fellow antis—I understand your disgust and frustrations, but we must rise above the temptation to engage in endless conflict. Stalking, harassing, and doxxing are not the actions we should be taking. These behaviors go against the moral code we claim to follow. I understand the pain of dealing with Proshippers, but we cannot allow that pain to drive us to destruction. Everyone has the right to their own choices, and if someone chooses to ship something that we find unacceptable, that is their decision, not ours to police. All we can do is warn them, avoid them, and move on.
To the people who continue to accuse and threaten me—just know that I am not the person you say I am. The false information you spread is based on misunderstandings of my past actions. I have learned, I have grown, and I continue to move forward. As a leader of my group, I realize that I must acknowledge my past mistakes and understand how they affect everything I do. I know some will never forgive me, and I accept that. But I have moved on, and I will continue to protect the Tumblr community, but now with the wisdom I’ve gained through this process.
I know that some of you won’t understand or may even continue to accuse me. But I will not leave Tumblr. I will not stop being an anti. What I will stop is being an aggressive anti. I realize now that continuing to fight in this way only causes more harm to everyone involved. It creates unnecessary conflict, it damages mental health, and it distracts us from what truly matters: protecting each other and standing for what’s right.
And to the hater who's been bothering me,I know you won't stop,not that you'll ever will, but reconsider on what your doing and that what your after,in the end,you'll end up hurting yourself too,so please,stop now and leave everyone alone
To everyone listening: I want you to know that I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not perfect, and I’ll never claim to be. But I am doing the best I can to make things right. I’m moving forward, not backward,while I may end up making mistakes along the way, I will try to learn from them from now on. I hope we can all do the same.
From now on,I do not want any of my mutuals to be harrased because of me or anything,if you all have something to say,say it to me directly, no anons asks,I want to hear you out directly and further questions,I will answer them when I have the time to, because I have a life outside here to and it's to protect my family from harm
Thank you for understanding.
And to my fellow Cosmic Guardians...thank you for still standing by my side and supporting my struggles...
@blo0st4r @vexic929 @borntobreakfree @kenakostarcat16 @boltthevolt @undertale-person @baxstarmallow06 @chibitacolord @starsdontshinetheyburn @iookingle3rd @nightfox67 @scally-wiggles716 @youwillneverknowthingsblog @hearts4ayame @antiproshipconfessions @shadowwolfmemes @your-dead-girl-forever-200k @aponibloom
And Merry Christmas 🎁🎄
#rainbow starheart#cosmic guardians#announcement#vent#personal vent#learn#growth#anti#anti proship#antis#Rainbow#Star#Heart#StarHeart#important#important message#self growth
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Lighter
Pairing ✮⋆˙ Go Kyungjun x Reader
Summary ✮⋆˙ You don't know when universe will bring you your special light. Sometimes the light can be a person.
"✮⋆First meeting with Kyungjun"
He was running to the closest canopy that could save him from pouring rain, even though he was already all drenched he still wanted to get some cover.
The new school year was about to start in two weeks,
sweet fourteen days when kids do not have to worry about waking up in the morning, studying till the late hours of the night, attending additional classes, practicing their hobbies, or fighting with themselves, their problems, and their mental health.
For Kyungjun it was fourteen days of fighting with his mom, fourteen days of yelling at his stepdad, and fourteen days of being on his own, with his feelings.
He wanted to start this upcoming school year, finally meet with Seungbin and Jinha, and finally get his all anger out on Dabeom or this freaking weird kid with a stupid camera, he wanted to sleep through half of his lessons and enjoy the life of the school scariest bully.
It was the only thing he was good at - at least that's what he thought.
After standing like this for ten minutes he heard some rush footsteps, they were getting stronger and louder with every second, finally, the small space Kyungjun was standing in got smaller under the presence of the new person.
Kyungjun looked at the figure, the girl next to him was breathing fast - from running he supposed, her clothes were wet as well as her hair, she pulled her headphones down and let them swing around her neck.
He had never seen her before but Kyungjun didn't care about another victim of the rain - he had his problems to think about.
So he turned his head back as soon as the girl looked at him, he didn't want to look into her eyes like some creep.
After a while, he still could feel the girl's eyes on him but decided to let go of it and focus on something else.
He took a cigarette out of his green jacket as well as the lighter, he tried to start it a few times but the flame didn't want to stay in its place. Some curses could be heard from him but he didn't care, Kyungjun slammed his lighter on the ground with all his strength where it all broke into pieces.
He looked up from the ground and in front of his eyes he saw a pale, small hand holding something - another lighter. "Try this one" he heard, so the boy took the thing to his hand, and to his surprise it worked.
"You need to work on your anger" was heard from the side "Shut up" he Simply answered, he didn't have the energy nor patience to discuss his problems with a stranger.
"No, I'm serious, if a stupid lighter can make you this mad, then man, I don't want to know how other things can end their journey, or other people, try listening to some music it helps at least for me", and she softly smiled to him but also awaiting his next move.
"You don't look like the one who has any taste in music" Kyungjun didn't understand why she wasn't scared of him, did the rain erase his tough aura? "Then let me show you"
And that's how it started, she showed him her favorite playlist, and he did the same right after, they talked for a long time, long enough for Kyungjun to forget about his mean attitude, his problems or worries, and long enough to forget where he was.
"Well that's my ride," she said and got out of her space under the roof "I have to say you have really good taste in music" That was the last thing he heard from the girl before she got into a black car that stopped a few meters in front them.
He looked down and in his hand saw a lighter, the one that this girl gave him, but something was off, he looked again "Lee Y/N" was engraved on it.
✮⋆˙ julliet
Written by @myjlla on Tumblr; do not steal !!
#night has come#go kyungjun#kyungjun#go kyungjun imagines#go kyungjun x reader#kdrama#kyungjun imagines#kyungjun x reader#night has come drama#night has come kdrama#kpop#kpop imagines#cha woo min#cha woomin
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débutante diaries
“If I were a mother I would be damned if my child took advice from you,”
That stung me when I initially read that.
Throughout my rocky healing journey, I’ve learned that I have to target my teenage self in order to begin healing what was broken. My teenage self was physically and emotionally abandoned. This manifested itself into self abandonment, toxic traits and irresponsible choices.
TTS (teenTOOspoiled) is not only meant for teens. It is a safe space for adults to discuss what we wish we knew as a teen. Kitchen table talk; the adults are talking. And we are inviting nearby teenagers to listen and ask questions.
As a teenager, I wish I knew how to address my problems and emotions instead of distracting myself with work, boys or burying my feelings and responsibilities. I wish I began learning certain skills sooner such as languages or techniques to protect myself from a mental health crisis.
I WISH I KNEW…
Self reliance
Personal and business finance
The dangers of casual xes
Avoidance is a trauma response (dodging the bill collector, for example).
Can I be honest? I HATE TALKING ABOUT MY SH !!!
I was raised in a black household that taught me to keep people out my business. In addition, my family dismissed mental illness overall therefore so did I. I feel very uncomfortable talking about something so personal, to strangers.
But. I remember coming across an article that made my heart drop:
Black Girls Are Experiencing Record Rates of Self Injury & Death by Scide
Don’t skip it. Read it, it’s short.
I owe my audience transparency. Especially those who are 13-20, my teenagers.
My ask and messages are open, therefore I feel as if my audience should know exactly who they’re asking advice from.
I do not (always) give advice because I’m doing/have done better. Most times I give advice because I’ve struggled through it and learned the harsh lessons already.
Especially when it comes to dating. Another thing that I want my teenage audience to know: I was xes trafficked at the age of 14 and stayed in the SW industry until I was 21. My advice comes from picking the brains of my peers (other SWers), clients, miscellaneous staff (assistants, for example) and diligent observation.
They ask me what I do and who I do it for. I do this all for my teenage self. I survived by the grace of my spirit team and my smarts. Both street and books smarts. Another form of “code switching”.
I am signing off with inviting my teenager viewers to tell an adult about following TTS. Follow us on IG @teentoospoiled if you don’t want to expose your Tumblr account lol. It takes a village and adults shouldn’t be talking to children (teens) without the approval or supervision of an adult.
Tell your parents, your big sister or older friend. Tell them about my SH. Tell them about @bootobeneficiary . Question them about their thoughts on celibacy. Ask them if they’re comfortable with you following me. Always check in with them before following any advice of mine, unless it’s advice on how to protect yourself from them.
Practice transparency, as I am practicing with you.
#beneficiaryblr#confidence#high school#high school girl#hypergamyblr#personal growth#high school tips#mental health#mental wellness#self discipline#that girl#hypergamy#dating#kitchen table talk#life advice#advice#debutante diaries#dear diary#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#female writers#journal entries
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What are your personal favorite Gallavich fics?
OKAY, BUCKLE IN!
I actually answer this fic and Tumblr like glitched and deleted it and I was crushed about it, but now I'm back. Ready to tackle this again!
First off, I have 90 Gallavich fics bookmarked. So let's start with the fact that I have a lot of fics that I LOVE and I'm going to link you right here to my Gallavich Bookmarks, should you want to look. I didn't add to my list any purely smutty fics and I have A LOT of amazing ones Bookmarked.
That being said, here are my personal standouts. I'm NOT putting these in order of how much I like them, because I would simply die on the spot under that kind of pressure.
BELOW THE READ MORE: 25 FIC RECS & SHORT RAVE REVIEWS
Life, or Something by @palepinkgoat
This fic encapsulates a lot of things that I crave in a fic that is designed specifically for my tastes. Personal journeys that begin rocky and work toward healing. Dark themes that are treated in a very matter-of-fact way instead of rolling in angst. The growth of mental health. You'll probably see those themes a lot in the fics I love. I also have a fascination with all things death, as someone who has almost died many times and who struggles with a chronic illness. This fic is so. . .beautiful? Articulate. FEELING. I love everything about it.
Belladonna by devovitsuasartes
Oh, THIS. Oof. Okay, this is fantasy HOW I WANT IT. So intricate, so unique, so embedded into the world-building that isn't word-dumped on us with exposition, but SHOWN to us. Witches and forced familiars, complicated family dynamics, rough pasts, coming full circle between the beginning and the end. Emotional journeys, coming back from tough experiences, PINING. This is the fantasy for ME.
Is There Somewhere by andchaos
Soulmates! Soulmarks! Mute Ian who is really fucking funny and sweet and Mickey who doesn't think he has a soulmate because he has no 'first words said to me' mark. I love the dance, I love their rapport, I love how warm this fic is. I've read it several times for comfort.
You Can Bite Me by @goodkwuestion
It's easy as breathing to love all of this author's fics, but this is the one for me, and it has nothing to do with the fantasy vampire aspect. This is one of the only fics that has made me cry. I don't cry from fics, almost ever. The write in this goes from hilarious, witty, clever, and sharp, and then swoops you into appreciating the beauty and sanctity of life, traversing the journey of loss and grief, embracing the passage of time, welcoming love into your life, and simply embracing what it means to be human. This fic touched me in ways I'll never be able to express without a five page essay.
Etherized Against The Sky by Snarfle
A canon-divergent story from 1x09 onward. I couldn't put this into words if I tried, because it is EVERYTHING. Everything that I could ever want in a canon compliant type of fic. Holy shit, does this make me ache. It explores so many facets of their growth, mental health, self-acceptance, found family, rebuilding blood family, and learning how to live in the world of Shameless, but this time, thriving. A complete work of art.
You make me feel human by Dragona
Listen. LISTENNN. Are you listening? Anything that is considered a 'dark' AU is going to be my jam. Anything that dips its toe or severed foot into Hannibal or Murder Husbands type worlds are not just up my alley, but they're leading right up to my fucking house and knocking on the door. This is it, folks! This is the one! No one did it like this fic did it! PLUS: A happy ending? Bitch, I'm on the ground.
My Nine Lovers by @annatrow
While we're talking kiss kiss bang bang gun boyfriends, let's just slap this fic right down here, because holy fuck, I have read it at least three times. The pining? The smut? The secrets? SEXY MURDER BOYFRIENDS TURNED HUSBANDS??? Yeah, honey, I'm here in the front row with my little #1 fingie! My Bookmark comment says "This was so fucking clever and reverent and heartening and joyful."
The Mask of Insanity by @annatrow
Yeah yeah, I am trying to pick only one per author, but I simply cannot with this one. It's so fucking gritty and smart and sharp and emotional. Full of depth, character growth, strange life coincidences, bad boys and good guys and where they fall in between together. I'm big on fics that make you fall down, get scraped up real good, then pick you up by the armpits and say, bitch, we're got more to go!
Conflict of Interest by @thisdivorce
Everyone and their mom knew this was coming. It has everything I crave in a fic. Exceptional characterization. Deeply flawed, real humans living through real life events. The struggles of being queer and unsupported, specifically within the trans community. Journeys through mental health and the pitfalls of navigating the world when you don't see it as clearly as others might. Tearing and screaming out of the confines you've built around yourself, even if they're comfortable and safe, but knowing it's no longer right for you. This fic as everything and more and I've read it three times now because it fills my heart.
(And since this author is possibly probably my fav ever in this fandom, check out WIPs Reckoner and Change Like Shifting Shadows because their writing speaks to my pain and love on a bone deep level.)
Burden of Proof by DodgerBear
Okay, I really fucking like crime fics. Whether on the good side, bad side, or grey side, I love crime fics. This one is soooooo good, and I LIVE for the pining, the draw between them, the SPICE. Please! This is so fucking well done! Whip smart and sexy!
(and shout out to WIP by the same author, Quatervois, for which I will wait an eternity to update, I don't care, go read it NOW.)
Wild West Ian and Mickey by 09cityskylights
Always always always, I will be invested in Western AUs. Any fandom, anywhere, any time. I love for Westerns and this author does it so perfectly. I fucking adore this journey and I can't recommend it enough.
Can't Figure You Out by Crimson_Bebop
If I'm going to pick one office AU from the lot (and there's so many good ones, check out this post for more), it's gonna be this. It's nerve-wrecking, hot as hell, an emotional rollercoaster. You're rooting for both of them so badly, but they both require different but equally important things in their lives, and finding that middle ground is MESSY.
Dancing After Death by @squidyyy23
Oh man. Oh shit. I don't know where or hot to start, because this combines two of my fav things, Sons of Anarchy with Shameless. It combines them, yes, but more important, this is completely it's own beast with an incredibly detailed timeline of events. It's hot as all HELL, it's gritty, it's real, it's loving and tender and difficult and highly charged with emotion and struggle. LIVING FOR IT. I have read this three times.
Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me by Mellow_Yellow
Oh hey, we're back at the Lala Loves Murder & Crime Show, and yeah, this one is FULL of it. It's so fucked up. It's so well written. The character growth is fucking A+, the murder reveal is exceptional, the mystery is FRAUGHT WITH DANGER. Guys! It's so fucking GOOD!
Teenage Dirtbag by @celestialmickey
Hah. . .I have read this three times. I'll never have read it enough times. Ian is 17 in 1999 here and I was 12 at the time, so everything this fic speaks to speaks of my entire adolescence and I just. Deeply cherish every moment. I savor every chapter of slow build. I revel in their victories. I sing along to all of their songs that I already know by heart, I wiggle in my seat to the Spotify soundtrack, I live for the vingettes of their happy ending. This fic is so magicl and wias written with such love and care.
you'll never see us again by @spoonfulstar
Okay okay okay, listen to me. Yes, we ALL love Intro to Quantum Dating by this author. I fucking adore it. I open it up at random chapters just to read and make myself smile. But THIS FIC??? THIS ONE??? You have got to be kidding me. I cried. I fucking yearned. I hurt, I hurt so bad down to my toes, and I smiled when things went right, and I teared up when it didn't, and I hoped and prayed for a happy ending, and yes I got one that was fulfilling and beautiful and poignant. Did the fact that I am a kidney transplant recipient play into my deep-seeding feelings about this fic? Absolutely. Do I think everyone should read this fic to grasp what exceptional storytelling looks like? BIG TIME.
Solid Skies and Slate-Blue Earth Below by @sentimentalspiders
This is one of the weirdest fucking fics I"ve ever read and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Best alien!Ian! Exceptional, fascinating, vivid writing style! The narrative is articulated in such an ethereal, out-of-the-box way that is perfectly fits a story that is about an alien and a very lost man. It's SOOO COOL.
Brand Spanking New by J_Q
I don't know what to tell you. Micky gets sent to a fuckin' retreat when he gets professionally spanked (by Ian) to fix his horrible behavior. He gets out of there and then he and Ian start a very detailed BDSM relationship. This is SOOO my wheelhouse of JOY, but if it is not yourself, y'know uh. I mean, I still recommend it anyway. It's so wildly delightful and hot as FUCK.
That's a Wrap by @crossmydna
Am I biased because this was written for me as a gift? Shut the fuck up, of course I am. But also, no, because well before Cross took on prompts, they were working on The Menagerie which is in my top five favorite Gallavich fics of all time, and I read it all the time AND YOU SHOULD TOO. Anyway, back to this fic. What can I say, it's EVERYTHING I WANT. Actor AUs! Meet Ugly, the hottest smut imaginable, banter that's sharp and strong, badass Ian & Mickey, everything everything everything.
The Stargazer by crazynadine
Hey yeah, hi, welcome to my Daddy Kink. There's a lot of it. Let me show you around, its got scrappy heart of gold sex worker Mickey, it's got age difference bearded and jaded by life Ian, it's got panties and road side motels, and secrets, jealousy, and hot hot hot smut, like holy shit. But if daddy kink is not your jam, then y'know. . .ahem.
The Question of Normal by blue_newman
Ian is a prison counselor and Mickey is in prison. The way that I LIVE for Ian breaching any of his professional protocols to help Mickey (this goes for so many fics in my bookmarked fics) is unholy, but how about you five me a fucking break okay. I just like it when they break the rules, as they should, because this is Shameless LOL. But seriously, this is so thoughtful and heartening and left me feeling really fucking right in the world after I read it.
Well, I hope this helped! This is only about a fifth of my Bookmarked fics, and I wanted to write about SO MANY MORE. Anyone is always welcome to ask me to rave about fics, I am always here for it lol.
I said this in the begining, but I have bookmaked A LOT of smut fics that I think are exceptional works, so I suggest you filter my Bookmarks by works under 10,000 words and you're gonna find 'em all.
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An Introduction Post
Hello hello! ♡ This is my blog about my practice and journey. Scroll below for the blog, posts, reblogs and chaos.
🌿 About Me Debs | She/her | Slavic | Living in Ireland
Aside from the magical and spiritual I am also a big bookworm, friend of nature, 90s Geocities Internet nostalgee, husky mom, cat mom, chinchilla mom, music nerd, singer, pianist writer, occasional artist, obsessive tea drinker, wannabe scientist, behaviorist, dog trainer, pet care advisor, lover of travel, dragon enthusiast, carebear collector, Heroes of Might and Magic devotee-- I mean fan, comic book geek, Halloween queen, knitter/crocheter, amateur genealogist, polyglot, a fun lesbian aunt(I have no nieces or nephew. I'm your aunt now), Duolingo streak bragging person, crafty crafter, and an autistic wreck whose sensory issues all go away as soon as it's grey and rainy outside, or better yet, as soon as Autumn arrives. (I dislike Summer with a passion.)
You can usually find me straying off a path and heading deeper into the forest, reading a book, doing magical wibbly-wobbly stuff, listening to or playing music that ranges from 80s glam metal through classical through Dutch rap to symphonic metal, studying an outrageous topic the average person has no interest in hearing of, writing, or having a breakdown over having to clean the house. (Hey, breakdowns are healthy. I promise. They are. I promisewhydoesittakeme5hourstocleanmykitchen?!)
I'm super-duper-Alice-Cooper friendly, and a real chatterbox, so if you want to ask me anything, talk to me about your own practice, ask me for advice or info, get a reading, get help with your own reading, or literally just talk, I'm a message away!
I used to be on Tumblr years ago and organized a yearly Pagan/Witchcraft Themed Gift Exchange for a couple of years. Keep you eyes peeled as I am going to bring this back this year!
Oh, and I kind of really love dragons.
🕸️ My practice I have had a pull to the divine and spiritual since I was a child, being approached by Kemetic deities when I was very young but have been actively practicing for 13 years. As you can see from my personal blurb above, I'm a pretty mixed and positively chaotic person, and my spiritual practice is no different. I love to help in any and all aspects that I'm familiar with, and I'm also always constantly learning myself(I'm kind of obsessed with continuous learning). I'm a spiritual sponge and absorb whatever I work with and get happily attached to my deities, spirits and practices, so I don't ever really stop practicing something. Here are some but not all branches of my path:
Kemetic devotee
Slavic polytheist
Freja & Skadi Follower (Restarting my relationship with Them after some years)
Solitary eclectic hedge witch (Ask me to elaborate if you wish)
Hecate Follower (Beginner)
Spirit work
Ancestry/communication with the dead
Nature work
Draconic magic
Constant personal study of mythology, history, language and culture of the paths I follow and others.
Pagan: There's a lot, I know. If you struggle with describing my practice when talking about me, you can just call me "pagan".
🔮 What I Do
Divination (Cards, runes, tea leaves, incense smoke, candle flame and wax, crystals, Slavic divination, and others)
Sigils
Herbal Recipes*
Crystal prescriptions*
Spells
Rituals (Ask me for details)
Devotional writing (Prayers, poetry, hymns)
Devotional art (of any deity, even if I don't follow Them)
Animal/pet healing*
* Important disclaimer = * = I do not give medical healing or medical prescriptions. I am NOT a licensed medical professional. I have education and extensive work experience in animal health/illness/first aid and care but I am NOT a vet. None of my prescriptions or healing include medical diagnoses or the use of medicine. Please consult with a medical professional for physical ailments, disease, injury, mental health. My crystal and herbal prescriptions and healing are not to be used as a substitute for professional medical/mental health help. They are there to be used as a boost and cleansing of energy and spirit, and can be used in conjunction with already-prescribed professional treatments. For herbal recipes, please ensure you are aware of any contraindications and interactions with anything you may already be taking.
DNI if you're a cun- please be nice. We're a respectful bunch. Don't talk shit about mental illnesses, I have some too. (A whole alphabet of abbreviations, I'm at a point where I'm anticipating a diagnosis of PhD.) See? We can laugh about our own mental health for the sake of healing, but don't be a judgy bitch. If you're in any way a homophobe, transphobe, acephobe, arophobe, anyone else who falls under the category of LGBTQI+phobe, racist, ableist, and insert any other shitty quality here. Also, I'm an adult, I talk about adult things, I don't post explicit things but there may be mentions of adult stuff or sexyjokes. So if you're a minor, well, I can't stop you from using the internet so it's your own risk what you do on the web, but be safe, and I'll tag anything that mentions that kind of stuff as "ac mention"(stands for adult content mention) - you might wanna block that tag. Also if I follow anyone and you don't want me to follow you let me know and I'll unfollow.
#About me#pinned post#introduction post#Dividers by @saradika-graphics and @cafekitsune#And some GifCities gifs#The dragon is from Heroes of Might And Magic 2... obviously#But HoMM3 still wins#Best game ever#pagan#witch community#kemeticism#norse paganism#slavic polytheism#tarot#divination#paganism#polytheism#kemetic fandom#norse heathenry#nordic paganism#rodnovery#slavic witch
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Where I've Been
So, I am officially back from my hiatus. I'm planning to return to Tumblr at least part-time in the middle of college courses and work. (I got a new job!) I also am planning on launching my first business! I'll reveal the concept for it soon, I think it's pretty cool. I've got a lot of things going on, so my activity may vary.
Addressing The Elephant In The Room
My mental health has improved considerably. I've made new friends in college, and I have somebody in my life I can talk to about my dissociation and heightened emotions. Our experiences are both different, but it's nice to know somebody I can relate to. Offline and online, I haven't had to worry about the voices as much. They've been unusually quiet, which is a great relief to me. I've also noticed that I'm not getting triggered as much.
This probably has something to do with my change in environment. I'm no longer in highschool, which was a traumatizing place for me. I now have a job that I like that feels meaningful. Classes are more aligned with my interests and my life has a general, vague sense of direction now.
And finally, I have a friend who gets me. They mean the world to me, and I love them dearly. Before meeting them, I had never felt a sense of safety, security, and comfort with another person before.
I've had lots of friends, both in-person and within digital spaces, but I didn't feel truly connected or comfortable with them.
In terms of therapy, I still need to contact Mental Health Services, complete my intake, and see a therapist qualified to treat adults. The trouble is, I'd have to answer the same questionaries over and over again, revealing personal information about myself and my past. My progress in being evaluated for my memory loss and dissociation would completely restart. I would still have to see somebody that doesn't know me, my history, or anything about me. It's a long process, but one I'm still willing to go through. I'll probably need something in the room for emotional support while I'm taking my call. And once I do that, my health company would actually have to have a trauma specialist available that's familiar with dissociation.
This is just the surface of my journey with therapy, but I'm counting on it! I haven't given up just yet, and my trauma will be addressed. I promise you that.
What's Happening to Goth History?
I'm still continuing Goth History, but I can no longer keep up with publishing series installments every three days. Between business, work, and school, spare time is limited. Instead, I'm switching over to a weekly or bi-weekly schedule. Saturday will be the designated posting day for episodes.
New Series
A while ago, I released a poll asking what content you ghouls would like to see. Some of you expressed interest in music recommendations, reviews, and analysis. Music is an important part of the goth subculture.
Social media algorithms tend not to prioritize music content when it comes to the subculture, but I hope to change that. Bands deserve to be discussed alongside fashion, aesthetics, and horror flicks. I'm considering a monthly schedule for this new series. "Macabre Music of the Month" maybe?
Out of a month's listening, I'd choose a band, album, song, or artist that stands out to me in the subculture.
These are my plans so far, and it'd be awesome to kick this series off in January!
Thank you so much for reading. Divider graphics are F2U.
-SORDID
#goth#gothic#alternative#goth aesthetic#goth subculture#80s#gothic style#goth lifestyle#gothic lifestyle#gothcore#goths of tumblr#alt#alternative lifestyle#alt lifestyle#goth guy#goth men#where i've been#returning#hiatus over#mental health#mental wellness#dissociation#trauma disorders#trauma recovery#childhood trauma#actually traumagenic#non traumagenic dni#endos dni#entrepreneur#entreprenuership
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get to know you tag gaaaame
tagged by @timbitshockey <3
do you make your bed? I feel attacked sitting here on my unmade bed. I do try. I am very organised in other aspects of my life. I normally half heartedly fling the covers across the bed to cover it and call it a day. I am a never in the bedroom except to sleep person so I don't really see it until it's time for bed again. And when husband is home he makes the bed very very beautifully and precisely and my efforts are quite pathetic in comparison
what's your job? Professional Feelings Expert. More therapists are tumblr girlies than you'd think. Currently setting up my own practice and doing some various bits and bobs and agency therapy work on the side.
if you could go back to school, would you? Always always! I have to do a lot of ongoing training for work so I think my next thing will either be training in couples work or maybe some nutrition stuff because I'm very interested in the link between mental health and diet atm.
can you parallel park? I have a driving license that says yes but I have not sat behind the wheel of the car since... 2019? 2018? I am quite a liability on the road and have been Banned from driving Mr sportsthoughts' car because I have been known to crash quite a lot. Just as well I like being chauffeured/walking better anyway.
do you think aliens are real? I think there's some bacteria out there somewhere but I don't think it would be life as we'd recognise it.
can you drive a manual car? 99% of people in the UK learn to drive manual and take a manual driving test so they can do both! So technically, yes, I can. I'm not good at it though.
guilty pleasure? Not guilty about it ever but sports! Sports and sports fandom has always been my little 'me time' hobby.
tattoos? Nope! I can't think of anything that I'd like the look of so much I'd want to see it on my skin forever. My taste changes all the time so I would never be able to commit to a design.
favorite color? greens. neutrals. pastels!
favorite type of music? I like a lot of old stuff! 80s stuff, 70s stuff, also currently binge listening to miss swift ahead of the eras tour in London.
do you like puzzles? Jigsaw puzzles? Yes. I find them very soothing. Brain teaser puzzles? No!
any phobias? Spiders. So badly. Anything with lots of eyes. The dark.
favorite childhood sport? Sailing! I sailed competitively until I was about 15 and still get dragged out with my parents a lot. It was an all encompassing family activity that took over basically every weekend of my childhood.
do you talk to yourself? Yes, all the time. I like to narrate my life! Sometimes in conversation with people/myself/man in the sky etc. Often just me talking to me
tea or coffee? Both! One coffee in the morning and probably about 4-5 cups of tea throughout the day. Always English breakfast tea with milk, no sugar
first thing you wanted to be be when growing up? I have never had lofty career aspirations! I have always been quite interested to see where I would end up - and I had quite a roundabout journey getting to my current career! I think I went through the usual phases of wanting to be a popstar or a princess or a mermaid but I never really lusted after work or aspired to grow up and have a job. I still don't lol. I have a very good work life balance and even though I love my job and see it very much as a forever career it is probably the least important part of my life.
what movies do you adore? I have a running joke that I hate watching films I haven't seen before. I am a serial repeater and like to watch the same things over and over. A selection: Lord of the rings - especially the second one Twilight and New Moon Jackass - all of them - Rocky you reminded me of this and whenever people ask about my sense of humour I say "Jackass" and mean it. Live action Cinderella Oklahoma - the stage recording The first three Pirates of the Caribbean White Christmas - perhaps my favourite film ever? Shrek 1 & 2 - another contender for favourite film ever. Any 90s Disney. A Knight's Tale Ferris Bueller's Day Off Hairspray!!! Can't believe I nearly left out Justin Bieber Never Say Never. The first movie I binged watched. That and 1D this is us were on a constant loop when I was a teenager. My poor parents. Tagging @robindrake13 @prettyhockey @icedbatik @coffee-at-annies @cornerihaunt @reavenedges-lies and anyone else who fancies it - feel free to say I tagged you because truthfully I'm nosy and want to know you all
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Healing Elm’s 1 year anniversary!
Hello Hello my dearest readers! With my blog’s first year anniversary now here, I want to have a bit of a deep discussion about my journey through the year that I’ve been on the Inscryption side of Tumblr. This is going to be a bit of a wild ride, so just hold onto your hats.
Tw for a bit of talking about sewer slide and self ouchie
So, February in 2022 for me was rough. The months before it were just awful for me and my mental health was down in the dumps. I was not in a very good state of mind. I was very isolated and I had a tendency to neglect my needs and avoid people as much as humanly possible. I was also prone to self harm at the time and I was also struggling with a lot of suicidal thoughts and temptations. And one day, I was thinking about Game Theory’s video on Inscryption that I had listened to a couple months ago because it made good background noise. But this time I wanted to actually listen to it and perceive what it was saying.
That’s when I remembered Jacksepticeye’s video about it and I rewatched it, and I loved it! I loved everything about it, the story, the characters, the setting, it all was very fascinating to me. So sometime later after playing it, I was neck deep in hyper fixating on it. I wasn’t new to Tumblr at the time, I had been on it for quite some time now, but I never thought about making content myself. That was until I decided to search up Inscryption on Tumblr out of pure curiosity, and oh boy I was not disappointed.
I saw so many amazing things there. Art, writings, fanfiction, silly little rants or shit posts, and I would scroll around on it for hours upon hours. I’m talking from 10pm to 2am. I loved seeing what people had to say, or what to share about this amazing game. I stumbled across a little imagine post that someone made, and I responded to it albeit a bit flustered. I was then thinking about it for a couple days after that, when I thought of an alternate meaning for that post they had made. So I made a post about it, and they replied positively to it!
This urged me to write my own headcanons and oneshots. The longer I stayed in the fandom, the more and more fanfictions came during the months. This is proven with my archive, with February only containing like three while March has much more, and then April with even more than the last and so on. It wasn’t long until I started making this into more of a passion rather than a small hobby of mine. Which, fun fact, was my original intention because I didn’t think I’d write that much. But here I am 700 posts later in the span of a year.
I started doing my own ask games, and answering requests given to me. All the while making other things like my own little ideas and oneshots with some art sprinkled here and there. I did this because I found comfort in it. Because for the first time in months, I had found a place where I felt welcome. There was little to no judgment, people were very welcoming and accepting of new ideas and Aus, and it felt more like a home than a small website. I had helped create a welcoming force in the community, which I hadn’t entirely intended to do, but I don’t regret doing so. I made new friends, and I had become a role-model for others in the fandom.
I love this community more than anything, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have made so many good memories during my time here. My mental health improved greatly, I was eating more consistently and I kept myself more clean and organized. In fact, my self harm rate went from every couple days to once in the span of four months. I personally think this is a massive improvement on my end. But I most certainly couldn’t have done it without this community. You’ve all been so supportive and as cliche’ as it may sound, I truly couldn’t have done it without all of you amazing people. So for that, I must thank you, for being the caring people that you all are towards not just to me, but to everyone else who also enjoys what I do.
While yes, it’s true that things will never be the same when I first came here, that’s fine by me. So long as this community keeps flowing like it has, I’ll be just fine. I’ve seen many creators here come and go, some were close friends while others were not. I still loved their content all the same, and I will never forget the inspiration they gave me to start writing my own ideas and sharing them with others. It honestly doesn’t feel like only a year has gone by, it really feels like five years just flew right past me. It feels like I’ve been here for so long, and I’ve seen so much happen in this fandom.
I’m very happy here, I love writing and drawing and messing around with mutuals on here. It’s all been a great experience and I hope that there will be more going forward. For a single year, I had just about the best damn moments of my life and all of it was because of random people on the internet who liked the same game as me, people that I’ve grown to love and care for. What’s funny is that when I first came here I was actually considered to be ‘baby’ and just starting out (mostly because of my height of 4 '10 but we don’t talk about that-) to now being seen as a more older figure in the community. How time flies.
Thank you all, and have a good rest of your day/night!
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Introductory post! 💗
Hi!
I’d prefer to keep my name private (for now :0), but you can call me Z! I’m 20, and from North America :)
I’m going to be using this account as a sort of digital diary. A place to document my life, my mental health journey, and the progress I make. I’ll be trying to post weekly life updates (we’ll see how consistent I can be!)
On this page, I’ll be documenting and talking about anything and everything, including my mental health struggles, therapy progress, new things that happen, what I get up to throughout the week, my relationships, my professional and academic life, my fitness; basically anything you can think of!
I wanted to start on this little journey for a few reasons. I was inspired by podcasts I listen to, where people sort of just share their lives with people. That’s so fun to me! A podcast isn’t really feasible to me though, and I don’t really want my voice out there, so I decided to give tumblr a try :) I also just love documenting things. I love keeping a record of my experiences and day-to-day life, to look back on in the future and see how far I’ve come and to reminisce on what once was. The final reason was to maybe give some people some comfort and solstice. I’ve struggled with mental health issues for a big portion of my life, and while I’m doing a lot better now than I was before, I still struggle. I’m hoping that by sharing my journey, my ups and downs, I can show people out there that they’re not alone, and that they can overcome anything <3 I know I personally find a lot of comfort and connection in hearing other people’s struggles and accomplishments, and what’s going on in their lives, so I hope I can provide that to someone else out there. And if not, that’s okay too! I’ll have fun documenting everything by myself :)
I think maybe next week I’ll give some information on myself, and provide some insight into the type of person you could be following! But for now, I just wanted to say hi, get a little start on my blog, and put something out there :)
Goodnight to anyone who might be reading this! Remember to take care of yourself :) <3
#digital diary#mental health journey#life update#mental health struggles#therapy#relationships#fitness#comfort#mental health issues#blog
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Dear Tumblr,
My name is Feather Quill. My pronouns are she/her/hers. I’m 29 years old. I’m an aspiring writer. I have ADHD and Anxiety. And I’ve been battling a combination of depression and anxiety since April of 2012.
I wanted to create this blog so that I could inspire and help other people with similar situations. I know that I don’t know everything there is to know, so while I’m bringing you my perspectives and experiences in regards to mental health, I’m eager to learn from all who follow this blog.
My motto is: “She believed she could, so she did.” Every single day I remind myself of this motto while I’m getting ready for the day, looking myself straight in the eye in the bathroom mirror. Why do I do this? Because this motto is also an affirmation. As long as I believe in myself and what I can do, I will do it.
A couple things I want you to know if you choose to follow my blog and learn about my journey:
This is a safe space. I want to create a space and be a person who you can discuss anything with.
Everybody deserves respect. I don’t care if you like what they have to say. Don’t tear them down, or I will block you.
No opinion is wrong. Everybody here comes from different backgrounds and upbringings and situations. Listen with an open heart, an open soul, and an open mind.
No one walks down the same recovery journey. If they were, no one would learn from anything or anyone, and everyone would remain stuck.
Finally, if you have thoughts that will harm yourself or others, or urges to do actions that’ll harm yourself or others, please call 9-8-8 or 9-1-1 respectively. I am not a professional anything and I want you to talk to someone who trains for any of these kinds of situations.
With all that out of the way, I hope you will enjoy this blog and become an active participant in discussions stemming from my posts.
Sincerely,
Feather Quill
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Well good morning, Tumblr! I woke up to a few interesting comments today.
I appreciate your acknowledgement, I have worded my message very carefully in an effort to not be misinterpreted, which happens to me often.
I intended this message to be a friendly debate, my response in no way was intended as an attack. I apologise to those that felt invalidated. I will explain my points a little more clearly:
Point One and Two
I think the majority of this can be summed up by "ship and let ship" I believe is the phrase. We interpret the show differently and that is valid on both sides, people like what they like and dislike what they dislike. I only wished to shine a different perspective relating to the points you brought up.
Point Four and Five
In point 4 I am afraid I am a little confused. Yes I am frustrated for the level of anger because it feels toxic. Perhaps I am interpreting this point incorrectly; to me, getting so upset about something so deeply without grounding, and knowing that things are fundamentally alright feels unhealthy. To be clear, I'm not saying that enjoying the show or finding comfort in it is bad, I just mean if you allow it too far into your world that you rely on something fundamentally out of your control for a source of happiness can be dangerous.
This is my observation, not an attack on any specific person. I am aware that everyone has a different life and that escapism is a very popular method of coping. Of course we all feel things, and some more intensely than others, however the reality is that it is a show. That is a fact. It is a good show, it makes me feel things very deeply and I am very invested in the characters and I have had a fixation on Star Wars for many years now.
I am not attempting to insult anyone by suggesting a step back if it is affecting someone's mental health. I am not sure how else I can say it? I was attempting to be as gentle but direct as possible. It's hard for people to hear information like this. It's a hard truth, I understand the natural recoil, but I feel that it is necessary information. Happiness comes from within.
As for this, (I am going to quote directly) You want to help? Listen, acknowledge, love people through it. That is exactly what I am doing. I tried to use as much gentle language as possible and I am remaining civil, and I am not attacking anyone. I have no hate toward anyone in this thread, Allistic, Autistic, ND or otherwise.
Point Six
It was not my intention to be dismissive, and as I stated in that paragraph, it was not a direct message to anyone. Autistic or otherwise.
Further to that point, thank you for sharing your own experiences with therapy, not everyone is comfortable talking about themselves and their medical history.
Your mention of putting in the work, I have. A lot of work. Years of it. However, I am hesitant to divulge my medical information and history to strangers on the internet so freely. Those closest to me know it. Some of my mutuals know part of it. I have mentioned some of it on my blog before.
I appreciate that you are willing to refute my points, as that was my intention, however, this has suddenly become about me and my views and beliefs. As though I am personally in need of serious therapy because I disagreed with someone on the internet.
I am disagreeing with a point of view as respectfully as possible. I am not attacking anyone.
I am the most mentally healthy that I have been in my life. Is there work still to be done? Of course. However, this and my mental health journey is - to be blunt - not relevant to my initial points nor is it anyone's business.
To address the rest of the thread:
Since, there are vague posts that I can only assume referring to my mention of Autism and "talking over Autistic voices" I believe were the words used.
I disagree with that statement two fold. Firstly, OP never specified that they were autistic so I do not know how I was talking over them.
Secondly, I am Autistic. I did not bring it up because, it was not relevant imo and also, I wanted to keep it private. Being pressured to admit this in an effort to have my point of view validated feels very dehumanising.
Noone came into my DMs to ask me if I was or wasn't Allistic. It was just assumed.
All in all, I am not angry or being deliberately rude to anyone, I was attempting to engage in a friendly debate of a show I have a fixation on. I have a love of film and story-telling and how stories are put together. This was my attempt to share this love of exploring the show with others.
If anyone has felt invalidated, that is not my intention in any way and I apologise that was your experience.
I hope everyone has a good day or night, depending on your timezone.
WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay
Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.
This is long.
Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)
The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.
Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey
Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.
I have spoken.
(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)
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Hello dear hbj!
I have seen your recent reblogs (about mental health and disorders) and just wanted to let you know that you are one of the kindest, loving, sweetest and most considerate people I have ever seen on tumblr. You are always so sensitive (what I consider a good thing!) while being honest and tactful, and I appreciate that. Your blog is full with love and good vibes and the world needs more of that. So, what I'm trying to say with my ramblings 😅 ... even though I don’t know how you are in rl, online you are definitely one of the bestest of people I had the privilege of meeting here and I wish you all the best on your journey through this world 💙
You rock! 🤘🏼
Oh Wow... 🥺 I'm speechless, tbh. Completely. I think this is one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever said to me. And these are definitely one of the most beautiful compliments I have ever received. 🥺 Well, to be honest, I’m pretty different in real life than here, in real life it’s sometimes not that easy to deal with me, tbh. And here, this became my own safe space. Although it’s the internet, the people here, in the fandom, are all so incredibly nice and kind and great. It gives me the opportunity to switch off and be just as nice as you are to me, I love that so much. I am quite different here because the people here are very different, much better, much nicer, just incredibly wonderful. All of you. 💚
I can’t believe it, I am so happy about this ask, your compliments and words make me so happy. Especially because this topic is quite difficult and unfortunately also, in my case, Borderline has quite a lot of prejudices and clichés. And also because far too few people are familiar with these diseases. And I think, as an affected person, it would be really nice if more people know about it. And when I reblog something like that, I’m always a little afraid that it annoys people or something, because it's actually a Duskwood blog, and most of the time it’s also connected with overcoming, but this topic is important to me and that’s why I talk about it. It really means a lot to me that you listen and read through what I post and that you take it seriously.
And that you took the time to write all these words, it just means everything in the world to me. I am often confronted with negativity and also with many people who can't deal with me or with whom I do not get along, or both. This makes it very difficult to have contact with people. And that’s why it is even more beautiful for me when not negative but positive is spoken about me. And the qualities you have listed are really wonderful and I am really happy that I make this appearance and that you describe me with it. 🥺
All of you are always so kind and loving and supportive. I love being with you on Tumblr and having such a nice time, and I love being with you all. ❤️
I can only return all your compliments to you. I don’t know you in real life either, but what I got to know from you here is exactly to say that you are really wonderful. You are so supportive and always understanding. And you always help everyone as much as you can, and I find that really incredible and the world needs more people like you. You’re funny and always so kind, and I’m really grateful that I got to know you here, and a little more on Discord. You are so great!!
And also a huge thank you for your words about my blog. Now that several have already said that it is so peaceful and always full of love, I might say this is a pretty safe place. And that’s exactly what it should be. What I want it to be. I never want to pull everything into the positive and pretend that everything is always perfect, because it is not. But I am still happy that so many people think so positively about my blog.
I would continue writing but then I would only repeat myself millions of times. 😅 So, again a huge thank you! Even if a thank you would never be enough to show my gratitude. It means so much to me that you took so much time to write all this to give me a smile. It worked really well. When I saw your ask, I admit, I lost two or three tears (How was that with sensitive? 😂) But they were tears of joy, just huge big thanks, you are wonderful, never let anything else tell you! 💚💚
Thank you, for everything! 🥺💚
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Hiya! Uhm so I believe Apollo is reaching out to me however he is the first ever deity to really reach out with me and I’m not sure where I should start or do and I was wondering if you had any tips or ideas?
[English is not my first language, I am a self-taught person, please understand this goes with my greatest effort from the bottom of my heart and will probably spend hours writing this very carefully for you, thank you <3]
Hi dear, of course, I will be pleased to help you
“I believe Apollo is reaching out to me”
I am deeply happy to hear that, I bet he is -for sure- trying to reach out to you and -I must say- it is truly wonderful to start recieving signs from deities, specially from Apollo as the first deity since he’s really sweet and caring for his children.
“I’m not sure where I should start or do and I was wondering if you had any tips or ideas?” Of course, it is always a pleasure to help.
So let’s start with the basics:
Research ! I recommend you to research about him as much as you can (e.g stories, domains, symbols, offerings, etc.) with that done, it will be easier for you to spot more signs. Research sometimes is the best way to connect with a deity and also that allows you to let them know you are interested in them as well.
Whenever you feel ready for the next step, I suggest you to tell him properly that you accept him in your life, this can be done by making a playlist, writing, playing an instrument, drawing, etc in his honor (e.g if you chose a playlist, set the intention that the playlist itself is going to be in Apollo’s honor, made with particular songs that reminded you of him or his energy only), I consider that it is important to present yourself as well ! he presented himself to you but you haven´t yet so you can talk to him mentally or out loud (or even when doing something in his honor) and tell him your name and about what you like to do, how you felt with the signs, etc. In my opinion that is a wonderful activity to do.
Again, only when you feel ready and sure about it, you can begin to create his altar (it can be physical or digital, don´t worry) and it is not necessary to be aesthetically pleasing or buy super expensive things because your altar will be the place where you will leave offerings to Apollo, sincere offerings coming from the bottom of your heart (e.g play a song from spotify that reminded you of him, a flower you picked up from the park, a drawing you made thinking of him, etc.) Therefore every altar is unique, we all make the devotional acts we feel good with and we know that will connect us with Apollo in some way or another. In the case you don’t know where to start with the physical altar, I suggest you to choose a place you feel good with and clean it physically and spiritually, I always tend to choose the north but you can choose any other direction. After you have that done, you can place a table or use a desk, a box, whatever you want or already have that you can use. Choose the things you would like to fill your altar with, (e.g a yellow candle, statue/pictures of Apollo, an offering bowl or anything that could complete the same function, sun/lyre/sunflower imagery, etc.) and then you will be filling it with more offerings such as poetry, drawings, music pieces, medicinal plants, etc. because Apollo usually make his children re-connect with art, joy and self-care, medicine principally.
About the devotional acts you can do for him, I will leave you a list:
- Say goodmorning/goodnight to him
- Sunflowers
- Bay leaves
- Humming/ singing a song you like (it doesn´t matter if you don´t sing on tune, he will be happy with you performing in his honor)
- Writing poetry or spoken word
- Playing an instrument
- Reading his myths to him
- Take care of yourself !! he loves when his children take their medicines or care about their health in general
- Take a walk under the sun
- Talk about him
- Make him a playlist
- Bake some lemon/orange/honey cookies
- Apples
- Honey
- Sun water
- Olive oil
- Lyre/archery imagery
- A swan decoration
- Donate to local artists
- Take a mini first aid kit with you
- Listen music you love next to his altar
- Dance in his honor !! (again, it doesn´t matter if you don´t know how to dance, just move, jump, move your hands, whatever you feel comfortable with but - feel the music, free your body- he will love that !!
- Leave him some sunstones and crystals related to him
- Read about him, research about him, talk about him, he loves when his children give him attention hehe
- Give him chocolate (other devotees agree he likes it)
- Hydratate yourself !!
- Always treat yourself with kindness
Now it´s time to list the ways deities can use to communicate with us:
- Thoughts, sometimes deities will reply to you through your own mind as crazy as it sounds !! you only have to trust your intuition as well
- Dreams, if you dream about Apollo or any symbol related to him, a message or something you feel it was from him, believe in it !!
- Meditations, some deities use meditation to communicate with us, as well as in dreams, they send us images, symbols, words, etc.
- Pendulum (I personally don´t practice it yet) but you can search here on tumblr
- Tarot, same as the pendulum, sorry I can´t provide you properly information about this one
- Candles flames, this was the second connection I had with him and how he told me to take care about my lungs, it is really easy to learn but also have to believe in your own intuition !!
- Animals/symbols/songs/etc, sometimes Apollo connects with his children through animals or songs, he usually sends crows
- Emotions, in my personal experience I had something called “emotional numbness”, I couldn´t feel any joy nor sadness, I was like a robot but since I connected with Apollo (and also did my shadow work !!) I feel happiness in everything, I go out and feel deeply happy under the sun, I re-connected with art and even overcomed my major depressive episode, so yes, Apollo is really caring and sweet with his children
- People, sometimes deities connect with us through other people, specially healing people, happy people, etc or even a stranger who feels the necessity to give or tell us something that can be considered as a message from Apollo
I think I wrote everything I wanted you to know !!
I hope this was helpful to you and as a final advice: do as you feel like it, everyone is unique and will recieve unique signs, at unique times. I wish you the best in this new journey !! and I’d for sure love to have an update from you !
With lots of love,
Miel <3
#apollo devotee#apollo devotion#apollo worship#apollo#apollo deity#deity worship#deity#hellenic worship#hellenic pantheon#hellenic devotion
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30.7.2021 | friday
i haven’t been posting very actively for like four months now and i thought i’d write a sort of a life update blog post just to record what’s been going on! so, more rambling under the cut ~
(also for a while i’ve been wanting to try a different kind of theme/aesthetic for my posts so this is me trying it out!)
(mental illness mention tw)
i took a bit of a social media break for a few months this spring/summer. i didn’t really have a specific goal for my break, as in i didn’t do it to be more productive or to then talk about all the awesome, productive things that i’ve gotten done in the time that i gained from not being on social media. honestly, what i did with the extra time was Absolutely Nothing. and i’m very happy about that. i was able to actually relax, not just mindlessly scroll through instagram without gaining anything from it. i listened to a lot of music, like whole albums by bands that i love. i hadn’t just listened to an album without doing anything else for SO LONG and it was actually really nice and relaxing, and definitely something that being pretty addicted to social media was keeping me from doing.
i’m still not returning to instagram but i did actually feel like coming back to tumblr because i know that studyblr actually motivates me. i start my 3rd year in uni this fall and i wanted to come back here to record my uni journey again. i’m still not being too optimistic about returning to in-person classes this fall because it seems like the situation isn’t getting much better here. but we’ll see. i’m also not very excited about physically returning to uni because of certain mental health issues that i also want to discuss here a little bit.
i’ve been going to therapy for a short while now. i’ve struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for as long as i can remember and this whole covid situation has made things even worse for me and brought back my ocd habits. i’ve had trouble getting out of the house a lot because it has felt like too much. that’s why i’m also kinda terrified of starting in-person classes again. i haven’t enjoyed online uni at all but at least i’ve been able to continue my studies from home without having to go anywhere. but being in therapy, i’m working on this whole thing. and i’ve made progress, too. i was able to go shopping for a little while this week. up until now i’ve only done the necessary shopping and i haven’t felt comfortable staying in places for too long. so, it’s not much, but it’s progress to me to be able to shop for some nice clothes etc. and knowing i have new clothes i like makes it easier to go to places because at least i’m feeling confident in what i’m wearing.
i wanted to be open about these experiences of mine from the past year and a half because on studyblr i see a lot of people saying they can’t wait to return to in-person classes, which i totally get bcs online uni is exhausting af. but i just couldn’t relate to that and i wanted to talk about the other perspective of feeling terrified about physically returning to school. i think that excitement and fear about returning to in-person classes can also co-exist: i do wish i could physically go to uni again soon but it also makes me feel really anxious.
it’s nice that you actually read my rambles this far. i’ve wanted to write a post like this for a long time now and i finally gathered that courage. my asks and messages are always open if anyone wants to talk. sending lots of love to anyone out there also struggling 💌
#studyblr#bujo#bulletnotestudies#lookrylie#problematicprocrastinator#philologystudying#studyvan#myhoneststudyblr#heypat#heyvenustudy#mine
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Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!
NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~
TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost.
funny enough:
I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^
I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.
I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^
Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life.
Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol).
Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well .. guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me?
Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right:
Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me:
idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first.
Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.
Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.
Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony.
So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them? You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?
Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^
The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.
Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.
Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that?
When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?
Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony
Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?
One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner.
Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever.
Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it: a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.
What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?
This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?
I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~
Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left. As for me @hobisbeautifulass you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~
And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.
Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^
You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~
#Anonymous#hobisbeautifulass#don't mind the typos as I wrote this in one go#just because I am someone who do not punch back when someone hit me do not mean I will stand nicely when you touch my people#anyway~ bye~#mimibtsghost
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