#listen all I'm saying is these two books are SO different but they're in conversation with each other!!!!!!!!! insane!!!!!

[moonfireshadow]

Rewatched Saltburn and I'm obsessed with Farleigh and Oliver's tutoring scene. The essay specifically. For those who don't remember: Oliver did his homework and all his assignments and genuinely gave a well thought out essay for their summer assignments. Farleigh shows up hungover and late and didn't even read the books. But the teacher immediately loves Farleigh and is chatting him up with an interest he barely tried to show Oliver. Even after Oliver gives his presentation and shows that he's clearly a much better student than Farleigh. Obviously this is the real start of their rivalry. But it's also such a beautiful look into their characters and how they mirror eachother. Farleigh understands Oliver's essay, I believe. But like the teacher he's bored by it. The knowledge and work is there, but the presentation of it is boring and strange. Academic and correct, but lacking the appeal to the audience. (Which, can we talk about the fact Farleigh was genuinely listening at all? The teacher zoned out and switched channels, but Farleigh was interested and paying enough attention to know the exact number of times Oliver used the word "thus" in his essay. They respect each other truly even if they despise eachother at this point, and refuse to acknowledge the grudging respect.) So Farleigh does what he does best, he gloats over Oliver. He picks apart the style of the essay and it's presentation rather than addressing the central argument or topic. This delights the teacher and frustrates Oliver who is like, "so you're going to critique the style of my essay rather than it's substance? Seems a bit lazy" and that's the core component of these two characters.

Farleigh is ALL about presentation. He knows how fragile his pedistal is placed up and in view for everyone to see. He's a charity project, just like every other rando of the month. Sure he has some familiar connection, and that's given him a leg up in this world. But it's still shakey at best. He always has to give the correct performance, say the right words, keep his audience on HIS side. Unless he wants to get knocked down with the rest of the common rabal that he knows he's belongs with, but can't stand the idea of. So yes, of course he picks apart the one thing he knows Oliver is failing at. He takes his one advantage over Oliver and uses it mercilessly to both entertain and secure his audience on his side. (I wonder if the positions had been different some how, if Farleigh would have had anything to say about the substance of the essay itself. He was paying attention to it, did he want to have a real academic conversation? Did he possibly want to try and connect to Oliver in that way? A real and non performative way with someone who's so similar to him?)

As for Oliver, obviously his character is intelligent. He does the readings. He does the research. He puts the time and effort in to *learn* in the way Farleigh never does. And it must infuriate him that his essay is so easily pushed to the side for a cheep critique that doesn't even address the central argument of his essay. Of course he would hate Farleigh from the start for that. It's such a quick negation of all that Oliver has to offer and give just because it's not wrapped up in a pretty bow. And that's just his character. The substance is there, the intelligence is there. But it's not enough. It will never be enough. Because Oliver doesn't know how to translate it to his audience in a way they'll care about. He learns and tries to mimic, but it always falls short because he just can't seem to figure out the way to blend in and present himself so seamlessly as Farleigh.

And that's why they're such perfect mirrors of each other. They're both intelligent and clever. But they've found different ways of getting what they want and proving themselves. Farleigh is the face and the presentation, Oliver is the substance and body. In another world imagine what these two could have done and been if they hadn't been pitted against each other for the same prize. And the fact Oliver definitely deliberately shoved Farleigh out at the perfect time so he wouldn't get hurt and killed? Oliver and Farleigh respect and admire the other. But their tragedy is they can never be on the same page or team because the world they're in says there is only room for one. And they'd both do anything to get that title.

[biblio-smia]

part one | part two | part three

every piece of you wants to stay, especially as abby looks up at you with big eyes and pouty lips, her small fingers holding onto yours like a lifeline.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart. tonight's not a good night."

abby gives you a heartbreaking look but she lets you go, sputtering out a reluctant, "okay."

there's a different look on mike's face (though you suspect it's in a similar strain) but you offer him a smile and a soft kiss on the cheek before he steps back inside and shuts the door behind you.

though regret settles in his chest quickly and only intensifies with each unanswered ring of the phone as he tries to calls max. mike groans as he hangs up the phone, glancing at abby with the realization that he's out of options. abby catches on, too, a glint in her eye as she smiles.

"i will work, and you will sleep..."

it's almost 7 pm. usually, you'd be eating dinner by now. before your few days of solitude, you'd be laughing and talking with abby while you did. now, for the past half-hour, you'd been standing in the door frame of your kitchen, trying to decide whether or not you should eat by yourself or drive over to mike's.

the landline ringing pulls you away from contemplating the very difficult decision.

"hello?"

"hey," mike's voice greets you and you feel your heart flutter. "are you busy tonight?"

you lean against the wall, twirling the phone's cord around your finger. "hmmm, i don't know. are you asking me out?"

mike is quiet for a moment, shocked silence - he'd almost forgotten how easily you make him blush. "not tonight, baby, i'm sorry."

you can hear the smile in his voice and you can't seem to frown.

"no, it's something more... serious. can you come over? it'll be easier to explain."

"give me ten minutes."

mike groans. "ten minutes too long."

you laugh, giving him a sweet bye before hanging up, picking up your keys and giving your kitchen a quick glance. really, at this point you should just move in.

you've barely arrived on mike's doorstep when the door swings open. you're in mike's arms before you can say anything, your arms wrapping around him like it was a natural instinct. mike's face presses into your neck, intoxicating himself with your scent. your presence is a comfort and your arms give mike the sense of safety he's been chasing for years.

mike sighs into your shoulder and you pull away to press a kiss on his cheek.

"something's wrong?" you guess.

mike nods, his arms pulling you close again for just a few more seconds before letting you go (not completely, though - his hand finds yours instantly).

abby's in her room and mike drags you into his. you take a seat on his twin size bed and he follows, making a dip in the mattress that makes your legs press against each other.

there's a book and a tape recorder on mike's bedside table. your eyes wander to the space above mike's bed, where something previously taped has been ripped off.

okay, it hasn't been that long since you'd been in here...

"okay," you nod, ready to listen to whatever it is mike has to say. you're patient as he hesitates, only momentarily, before he finally tells you a few very important details he'd left out from your last conversation. like how he's been reliving his childhood trauma for the past month or so.

you really try not to be upset. you hear the desperation in mike's voice as he tells you that dream... whatever-ing at freddy's has gotten him closer than ever to figuring it all out, finally. his hands shake as he pulls out a folded up paper from his back pocket. you could recognize abby's art from anywhere.

"and look! i... i don't know how, but they're connected, somehow. the kids- they posses the robots and they can talk to abby! they told her about garrett. they know something."

"mike." your hands are on his, urging him to slow down.

"look, i know it sounds crazy." mike's gaze is serious as he looks into your eyes, pleading for you to not think he was a total nut case. "i want you to come with us tonight."

"mike-"

"no, i'm serious. you can see for yourself." and mike is looking at you so desperately.

you sigh. "okay."

mike looks like he’s still ready to convince you, not expecting you to agree so easily.

and then his hands are on your face and he’s kissing you like his life depends on it.

“i seriously-” mike says breathlessly between kisses. “don’t know what i did in a past life to deserve you, but you are… amazing.”

and so you keep your grievances to yourself. you’re really not sure if you’ve gone one step forward or taken two steps back but mike is pulling you into the kitchen to have some of the soup he’s made and there’s really no time to gather your thoughts.

but there is time for the worry you've been feeling for mike to come back tenfold.

abby is somehow more excited than mike to hear that you’ll be tagging along tonight, jumping up and down and thanking you as if you’d just told her she'd won the lottery.

she’s still buzzing in the car and mike’s hand stays steady on yours as he drives. his face is grim as he looks ahead, his eyes occasionally rising to glance at abby and falling on you at a red light (mike would've completely missed the light turning green if it weren't for your hand squeezing his).

but that feeling in your chest only grows and it's starting to make you feel sick. you’re really not sure what you’ve just agreed to.

mike pulls into the front of freddy’s, parking line long since faded. it’s your first time, but even you can point out the cop car not quite fitting in with the rest of the picture.

“vanessa’s here,” abby comments.

"yeah," mike nods, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"my friends talk about her sometimes," abby begins softly as you come up beside her, taking her hand.

"really?" you ask curiously. "what do they say?"

"that she's nice."

"abby," mike starts with a huff. "if i asked you to wait in the car, would you?"

"no." abby smiles before turning to you. "come on!" if her legs weren't so small, you're sure she would've lost you as she dragged you along.

"abby, wait!" mike calls uselessly.

"guys, i'm back!" abby announces as soon as she enters the large party room. "and i brought someone special!"

"abby."

"hey, vanessa!" abby is unstoppable, pulling you until you're on stage, right in front of her... friends.

"abby!"

you're frozen, standing there as you watch the giant mascots come to life, seemingly without anyone controlling them. they tower over you, large bodies whirring as they turn towards you. their expressions were limited, but you could tell by the way their eyebrows pointed and their mechanical eyes squinted that they did not like you.

"guys, it's okay!" abby assures before leaning in to whisper something. she giggles, and the animatronics... relax, returning to their normal expressions.

"okay, that's seriously freaky," you admit under your breath, watching as abby smiles and laughs with the mascots.

you stay by abby's side, reaching out to wrap a protective arm around her, eyes never letting any of the animatronics out of your sight.

there's a tug on your sweater and a look in abby's eyes you know too well.

abby presents to you, mike, and vanessa a rough blueprint for a fort made entirely by crayon. when abby reveals that she wants to build a fort for all of you, including the animatronics, you can't help but give her a look.

she doesn't seem to notice, caught up in all the excitement, but you catch mike's eyes and know he's sharing your sentiments.

"abby, look," mike starts, hand on abby's shoulder. "now, this is all really fun and exciting, but these things are big, and they could be dangerous, so i think we need to lay some ground rules, all right?"

"we're gonna watch our fingers and our feet," you add warmly.

"vanessa, what do you think?"

it's quiet as the two of you look up at her - mike has told you that vanessa knows a lot about freddy's (though he suspects she knows more).

"i think we could use the tables for the fort." vanessa smiles at abby, hanging back as abby runs off. mike's eyebrows furrow in confusion, but vanessa only throws him a triumphant look before joining abby.

"everyone, follow me! come on."

it's definitely a unique experience, building a fort with animatronics possessed by dead children. but they lift and build alongside you and soon enough, they're more endearing than terrifying.

you catch vanessa trying to bring a table over by herself, quickly placing yourself on the other end and helping her lift.

"thanks," she says quietly, tight smile over her lips. "so, you and mike...?"

"together," you confirm with a nod. "for a while." there's a bit of awkward silence and you really can't tell if there's something you have to clear. "if you were interested-"

vanessa laughs, but you don't give her a chance to confirm or deny.

"-he's pretty... clueless when it comes to those things." you offer a smile and vanessa shakes her head, mouth open to say something when a stray chair catches your eye.

"hey, careful," you stop abruptly before vanessa can trip. she looks to her right and kicks the chair away with her leg.

"thanks," she smiles.

"yeah." you smile right back.

"okay, they're kind of cute," you quietly admit to mike after bonnie's little fall.

"seriously? you too?" mike frowns and you can't hide your laugh.

"what? i'm just saying, i get why abby likes them so much."

mike shakes his head, disbelief in his face as abby waves the two of you over.

"i mean... they're still just kids, right?" you whisper to mike, voice holding a hint of sadness that you try to shake off, tugging mike along to congratulate abby on her genius engineering.

"i like it in here," vanessa calls from her spot on the other side of bonnie.

"me, too," you admit, fingers lightly interlaced with mike's.

"me, three," abby grins. "but... i think it's gonna rain soon."

"sounds like we need a roof," vanessa smiles as she sits up and you can't help but appreciate how she got along with abby. "i'll go see what i can find."

"we'll, uh... we'll come with you," mike calls, pulling you up from your spot so suddenly you almost fall on bonnie. "sorry!" you whisper, patting his arm gently.

"yeah, i take it back, this place is creepy again." you shudder as you enter the storage room.

"what are you looking for, exactly?" mike inquires as vanessa begins digging through a bunch of boxes.

"tablecloths!" she responds like it's obvious. "they used to keep 'em back here for big events."

"right. and remind me how you know that?"

"mike." you warn.

but vanessa won't answer the question and you can feel you start to suspect her knowledge of the place, too.

"found 'em." vanessa smiles as she begins digging into a box and pulling out some fabric.

"god, what is that thing?" your gaze lands on a very creepy looking piece of metal slouched in the corner.

"one of the older models," vanessa comments casually. you stare at her, watching her fold the fabric to make it manageable, barely even glancing over. no, that definitely wasn't common knowledge.

"don't!" vanessa's urgency makes you jump, your head turning to see mike almost stick his hand somewhere it definitely didn't belong. "i wouldn't do that. they're spring locks. they're on all the older ones. they were designed to keep the animatronic parts in place, so that, uh, a person could safely wear the suit. they tend to be pretty unstable. let's see..."

vanessa picks up a broom to demonstrate, sticking it right where mike's arm would've been.

the metal snapped it in a split second. the visual makes you and mike both cringe.

"like i said. unstable."

"is there anything else you'd like to tell us about, vanessa? cause you seem to know everything about this place." mike's words throw no direct accusations, but his tone does. "and what'd if abby'd come in here? what if she'd found that thing?" mike's voice rises and he's on vanessa's tail, forcing you to follow.

"you're the one who brought her here, mike, not me," vanessa spins around. "what i can't wrap my head around is why."

and mike has no choice but to share what he'd told you earlier. e sighs, glancing at you as he begins his confession.

"all right, look. i think that they know who took my little brother. i can't explain it, but when i'm here, i feel closer to garrett. my dreams are more vivid, and it... it's like i can almost..."

"change what happened?" vanessa offers and you're positive she knows something. not even you reacted this calmly.

mike nods.

"did you ask them about this?"

"yeah, i tried. i don't think they like me very much. but... they do like abby."

and that's when it all clicks. you remember your phone call with abby, how mike refused to take her with him. how something about that conversation with mike hadn't sat right. you'd thought it been the whole dead children possessing giant robots then, but you realize what it is now.

"so that's what this entire thing is about? using abby to solve this?" your arms cross now, eyebrows furrowing as you turn to mike.

"okay, i'm not using her, i just asked her to ask them-"

"mike, you said yourself this place is dangerous-"

"yeah, and we're watching her."

a silence settles on the three of you as you realize that, no, you aren't.

you lead the way as the three of you pick up the pace on your way out of the storage room, vanessa and mike picking up their discussion.

"mike. you need to drop this."

"i don't really see how that's any of your business."

"i'm tellling you, you need to let it go."

"who the hell are you?"

"just someone who's trying to help."

you burst out of the dark storage room, eyes trying to find abby in the dim light.

"abby!" you cry, watching her get closer to bonnie - a hand coming up to string his guitar.

"wait, abby, don't!" vanessa cries, but all of you are too late.

sparks fly and abby's on her back, unresponsive when you get to her.

"abby? abby!"

her eyes finally open as she coughs and you breathe a sigh of relief.

"what happened?"

"it's okay, abby. you just had an accident. you're okay." vanessa pulls abby up into a hug - away from you and mike and you watch as his face falls. "i'm so sorry."

vanessa helps abby up and you take abby's hand. "alright, princess, we're gonna get you home."

you have a feeling the argument between them isn't over, so you open up the backseat for abby and get in with her, letting her wrap her arms around one of you and use you as a pillow.

you were right - it wasn't over. though it really wasn't an argument as it was mike getting yelled at and it makes you guiltily reminiscent.

but you don't move into the passenger seat even as mike gets it, already letting him know you're gonna have your own talk once you get home.

"she looked so angry," abby comments tiredly, her head resting against you as you soothingly run your fingers through her hair. "why does everyone always look at you that way?"

mike sighs quietly and you swallow thickly. "let's try to get some sleep, abs." you say quietly, a hand coming up to rub her shoulder.

really, all you did was blink. your eyes flutter open and see the sun has risen during the short drive from freddy's. you're warm, whether it's from the sun's rays or mike's gentle hand on your leg. you're still half-asleep, not really hearing what he's saying, only able to notice how beautiful he looks with the sun shining on him like that.

you almost forget you're upset with him.

mike carries abby in and you let him tuck her into bed (something tells you he needs it more than you do). your feet quietly drag on the carpet, turning into mike's room and pulling on something cozier (and that doesn't have the dingy, lingering scent of freddy's).

you're lingering in mike's door frame, only a few feet away as mike exits abby's room and closes the door quietly. your arms are crossed and you might be frowning as mike bites his lip. you know he knows. you don't trust yourself to even sit on mike's bed, the temptation almost impossible to resist even out of the corner of your eye, so you make your way down the hall to the dining room and mike wishes he could watch you walk around in his clothes under different circumstances.

you sit in the sunlight, silently, and mike thinks he'd rather you yell at him than this. he picks at his cuticles, ripping at a hangnail until it's gone, a little red spot slowly taking its place.

birds chirp brightly outside as you gather your thoughts. you don't want this to be like last time and you're trying really hard to be patient with mike. you can't imagine what it's like to lose a sibling, but he could've lost another last night. wasn't that enough to snap him into reality?

"mike," you begin and mike hopes he never hears you say his name like that again. "i would never ask you to let something like this go," and mike sighs at the familiar request. "but it's becoming... too much."

mike looks up at you now, eyebrows furrowed, ready to be angry. "'too much?' what does that mean, 'too much?'"

you're careful with your next words, taking mike's hand softly, reminding him that you do love him.

"i mean, we got lucky. abby... abby could've gotten seriously hurt."

"okay, it wasn't like i forced her, she wanted to go."

"and you were against it until you realized those... things liked her!"

mike pulls back, his jaws clenched.

"you don't understand."

"so help me, mike. help me understand, because i'm really trying to."

"finding the man who took garrett is the only thing that matters to me!"

"so abby doesn't matter?" and mike falters. "i don't matter?"

mike's heart churns and his head drops. "that's not what i..."

"yeah," you sigh, crossing your arms. it's quiet again and mike can't manage to look at you.

"mike," there it is again. "this is becoming an obsession."

mike scoffs. "it's not-"

"yes, it is! tell me mike, how many nights have you been going there for the past... month?"

mike can't answer. he truly doesn't know. he's still trying to think of a response when your hands are on his face, forcing his eyes to look at you. your fingers sweep over the bags that have taken the spot under his eyes for a while now, wishing you could rub away the dark hues. you thumb over the hair on mike's face - he hasn't shaven in a while, but he hasn't taken care of himself in longer.

"you haven't been yourself, mike. this was the problem the first time. i'm just.. worried, alright?"

mike's heart sinks as he starts to see all of the stress on your face, too. your tired eyes and the small frown on your face. something in him aches and he regrets ever dragging you into this.

your eyes catch the time and you sigh as your hands drop mike's face.

"i have to get to work."

"w... work?" mike stammers. why would you agree to tag along if you had work in the morning?

"call me if you need anything. please." you press a kiss to mike's cheek before taking off, leaving mike to sit there in silence.

he sighs, rubbing his eyes. his body is exhausted but he can't rest. not until it's finished.

"hey, it's mike. i need your help."

that night, you linger in the living room. mike hasn't called, but you just can't shake the feeling that something's not right. you take a seat on the couch, that awful sense of dread in your stomach keeping you from doing anything else.

you're not sure when the exhaustion catches up, but when you wake up it's dark outside and you're not sure if the ringing you heard was just in your head.

and then your answer machine begins to play a bright voice you could recognize anywhere.

"my friend's taking me to freddy's! i don't know where mike went but i'm mad at him... what? okay! i have to go-"

the message ends abruptly and your hands feel clammy as you replay it.

it takes a few more minutes and more than a few deep breaths before you race to your car, fingers fumbling as you get in and hit the gas.

something's wrong. you can feel it.

you're barely in the parking lot of freddy's before you're out of your car, panting and having no idea how you'd made it without getting pulled over.

you approach the entrance and consider yelling out mike and abby's names on the off chance they'll pop out and assure you everything's okay. but before you can get too close, a figure is running out towards you, pulling you towards the side of the building and out of sight of the cameras.

"vanessa?" you're surprised to see her outside of her uniform, holding something that looks dangerous and with a frantic look in her eyes. "vanessa, what's wrong?"

her eyes fall on you as she tries to even out her heavy breathing and she looks wild.

"they've got abby."

"w... what do you mean? they like her, right? they won't hurt her?"

vanessa shakes her head quickly, her eyes teary and her voice quivering. "mike, he..."

"vanessa, please."

"they want to make her like them."

your heart's in your throat as you follow vanessa through the vents, dust and anxiety making it hard to breathe. you feel like you're going to be sick and you would push vanessa if you weren't sure that she was going as fast as she could. the vent cover is already off, making it easier for the two of you make it to the party room. bonnie and freddy are down on the stage, but you and vanessa are crouched and quiet, trying to listen for where abby could be over the sound of your own heart pounding.

foxy doesn't notice as you come up behind him and vanessa electrocutes him, your arms immediately fishing for abby as she screams.

"it's okay," you assure quietly, pulling abby in tightly, the relief you feel so intense tears almost slip out of your eyes. "you're okay."

"foxy!" abby calls out as she backs out of your arms, eyes sad for her friend.

"we're gonna get you somewhere safe so we can go help your brother, okay?" vanessa says worriedly, eyes checking over abby as her hand rubs her shoulder. her eyes fall on you and you nod, picking abby up and listening to vanessa's directions towards somewhere safe.

though there's not much you can do but chase after abby once she spots her brother on the floor, unconscious. you're on your hands and knees, eyelashes fluttering hazily, not quite able to process seeing your boyfriend bloodied and bruised. not quite able to fathom what it'll mean if he doesn't wake up. abby's screams don't quite reach your ears as her small hands try to shake him awake.

"mike, please." you don't even recognize the sound of your own voice, so desperate and shaky.

at last, mike stirs, weakly twisting onto his forearms.

"the drawings," he chokes out. "the yellow rabbit hurt your friends. show them what really happened."

mike's weight is on you as the two of you stumble through the dank hallways, lights flickering and mike panting. "here, here," mike directs and you pull him into a control room. mike stumbles as he reaches for a box, steadying himself against the dusty wall as he grunts, flipping the switch from off to on. you're not sure what it does but your arm is around mike again, pulling him out of the room as quickly as you'd gotten in.

there's a layer of sweat on your face as you push past a door, the last door that finally leads you back to abby.

she calls your names as she runs over, away from the man who's been behind it all. you let mike catch his breath for a second as you pull abby close, the three of you watching as the yellow rabbit is finally punished.

lights begin to fall, shattering the instant they hit the ground.

"alright, we gotta go." you scoop abby up, mike using you as support as you try to navigate your way out safely. you bite back a gasp once you see vanessa on the ground, pale and unresponsive.

"okay, okay." you set abby down and you and mike crouch down to each sling one of vanessa's arms over your necks. mike stumbles, almost falling as he tries to stand and your face tightens with worry.

"hold my hand," you instruct abby. "hold tight. don't let go."

the animatronics are dragging the yellow rabbit somewhere, but you can't spare any attention, focusing on not dropping vanessa and making sure mike is still upright. you're almost at the exit when the ceiling starts to come down, your own panting mixing with mike's pained grunts as the four of you finally make it outside.

"abby, i need you to open up the car for me, okay?"

abby nods and grabs your keys, running up ahead to click the button on your keys. the lights blink and she opens up the back for you and mike to sit vanessa in. you strip yourself of your sweater, laying it over vanessa as abby climbs into the opposite side. "hold her tight, alright?" abby nods, clicking her seat belt before holding onto vanessa's arm. good girl.

you help mike into the passenger seat, kissing the top of his head as he continues breathing irregularly, holding his side and gasping.

you're not the best example for abby as you skip your seat belt, shoving your keys into the ignition and turning them quickly. you peel out of freddy's, trying to remember the quickest route to the hospital. you're way over the speed limit, but not an ounce of you cares.

"keep putting pressure on it," you manage out, hands sweaty against your steering wheel. mike holds himself steady against your dashboard and your eyes constantly bounce between the road and mike, so distracted you almost drive on the curb as you pull into the hospital. it's okay, it's okay, you repeat to yourself as you head straight for the emergency room.

it'll be okay.

mike is cleared first. it's been a few hours and abby's asleep in the chair next to yours. the pounding of your heart kept you awake, tired eyes waiting expectantly each time a staff entered the waiting room.

finally, someone called you over.

"he's awake," the lady with the clipboard says with a smile and you gently shake abby awake. she's still half-asleep as the two of you are led to one of the hospital rooms, bright daylight shining in from the window making your eyes hurt.

but then you spot mike, raised up in his bed and awake and breathing and the weight on your shoulders is gone.

"mike!" abby cries happily, running over to throw her arms around her brother.

"careful, abs," you say softly, though you're barely containing your own excitement.

"no, no, it's okay. i can barely feel a thing," mike assures, pulling abby up into a tight hug.

you come up behind her, the tears you've been holding for hours finally finding their way out, relieving some of the pressure in your chest.

"hey, come here," mike says softly, his arms, still so strong, pulling you close. abby digs her way in again, head resting against your back until you pull her in, too. "i'm okay," mike whispers just before you all let go.

"yeah," you nod, wiping your face before abby can see. "you're okay."

the ride back home is exciting, the three of you making a stop for abby's favorite fast food before you make it home. abby is reluctant to let go of mike as you all trudge in, but her little eyes are closing and she'll wake up with a sore neck if she falls asleep on the couch.

you go straight for mike once she's tucked in. you're pressing him against the wall as you kiss him, careful not to hit any of the bruises on his face. there's no argument from him as his hands find your hips, his thumbs pressing softly into your skin. the both of you are trying to articulate your feelings through the desperate kisses you share, lips swollen and breathing heavy by the time you're finished.

but mike's had something on his chest for a while now, too.

"you were right," he breaths out, chest still heaving from the kisses. "about everything. i was stuck in the past and i wasn't focusing on what was right in front of me," mike's hands are on your face now, making sure you're looking at him (as if you could tear yourself away). "you and abby are the most important things in the world. and i... i love you."

your eyes are wide as you glance from one of mike's big brown eyes to the other, watching him watch you desperately. his eyes stay steady on yours, his fingers slowly thumbing over your face.

"i love you," he whispers again, reveling in the feeling of the phrase slipping off his tongue. "i love you." one more time, just for good measure.

and then you're grinning so wide, your face suddenly warm under mike's hand. your hands are on his, pushing them a little to catch mike in a kiss, completely different than before - this one's slow, the two of you dragging it out as long as you can, each trying to engrave the other in their memory.

but that's not where you want to live. so you pull away and cup mike's face in your hands, forcing him to be present with you again.

"i love you, you idiot. and i'm gonna make sure you know it every single day."

mike nods as he buries his face in your shoulder. he thinks he's crying and you might be, too. there's so many words he wants to say, but he can't quite figure out how to string them together. there's promises to for him to make and to see through, but for now, mike settles on one phrase, repeated into the material of your shirt. he's not even positive you can hear him, but he knows you know.

"i love you. i love you. i love you..."

final part!!! yay!!! i'm still not sure what to call this little mini-series, so let me know :p. & if you want any bonus content for them... requests are open! <333

(also, i am ignoring aunt jane because i have NO IDEA what happened to her in the movie)

[mustainegf]

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: phone sex, JOI, praise, edging, overstimulation, submission, femdom

It was getting pretty late when the buzz from my phone started, a soft vibration pulling me out of my book. At that moment, I put down the book I was reading to glance at the screen. On it was displayed James' name in sharp relief. My heart skipped a beat, an equal measure of excitement and warmth sweeping through it. It was already days since we last spoke, his tour schedule keeping him busy from one day to the next.

I tried to respond, keeping my voice steady, but there was always that rush whenever I heard his voice. "Hey, baby," I said whilst smiling, sinking back into the couch.

"Hey…" his voice came through, a little rough, as if he'd just woken up. "Uh… What are you doing?”

I smiled, hearing the weariness and something else in his voice. "Just hanging out. Missing you," I said softly, swirling a loose end of hair between my fingers.

"I miss you, too," he said. Then, a pause, and then: "I'm in my hotel room. alone. and I can't stop thinking about you."

I could feel the weight in his voice, heavier than mere tiredness. "Oh yeah?" I teased softly, my body responding to the timbre in his voice. "What are you thinking about?"

There was a soft groan on the other end. "You. Only you," he said. "I'm so fucking hard right now. I can't stop thinking about your body."

My breath caught a little. The conversation took on a different tenor, become charged. "Is that right?" I asked, settling deeper into the couch, a smirk playing on my lips. "You need me to help with that, baby?"

His voice dropped, husky and full of need. "Please," he whispered. "I can't do this without you. I need you to tell me what to do."

I bit my lip as the surge of desire suddenly raced through me. It was so rare for James to be like this-so vulnerable, so needy. I loved when he let me take control. "Alright, sweetheart," I said, voice soft. "First, I want you to take off your pants. Can you do that for me?"

I heard a rustling on the other end, the sound of him shifting in his hotel bed. "They're off…" he said, his breath quickening, I could practically feel how pent up he was in sexual frustration.

"Good boy," I purred, settling more fully into the role. "Now, touch yourself. Just rest your hand on your cock. Don't move it yet, just feel how hard you are for me.

And I heard him release his low groan, followed by a sharp exhale. "God, I'm so fucking hard," he mumbled.

"I know you are, baby," I said, my voice measured. "But you need to be patient, okay? Don't start stroking till I say it's okay.

He whimpered softly in reply, his frustration evident, and I smiled to myself, loving how easily he let me take the reins when he was like this. "Now," I continued, "I want you to give yourself just one slow stroke, all the way down and back up."

He obeyed, and the sound he made-halfway between a moan and a gasp-sent shivers through me. "F-fuck," he whispered.

"That's it, James," I purred, my voice steady as I listened to him. "Another slow stroke. I want you to feel every inch of yourself. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah," he breathed rough.

"Good. Now, give yourself two more strokes, nice and slow. Don't rush it. I want you to make it last."

I heard the soft slick sound of his hand moving along his length, his breathing grew heavier with each stroke. "Fuck, I can't-" he started, but I cut him off.

"Shh, baby," I calmed. "You're doing so well. Don't rush, okay? I want you to take your time. Can you be a good boy for me?

Again he whimpered, frustration stark in his voice; he didn't argue, though. "I'm trying," he murmured.

"I know you are," I say softly, my voice warm. "But I want you to wait. I want you to feel every second of this for me."

He groaned, and I could almost envision him in the hotel bed, stretched out, tense in his body with need. "Now," I went on, "you can stroke a little faster. Not too fast, though, okay? I don't want you to cum yet.

His breath caught at my words, and I could hear him quickening his pace, the soft sounds of him touching himself raising my own body temperature in response. "Fuck," he whispered again. "This feels so fucking good."

"I bet it does," I said, my voice low and teasing. "But you have to hold on for me, baby. Can you do that?"

"I-I.. I don't know," he stammered "I'm already close..."

I couldn't help but smile to myself; loving the effect I had on him. "Not yet, James," I ordered firmly. "I want you to stop."

He groaned in frustration; before stopping, his breathing was heavy and ragged. "Fuck," he swore. "Why'd you make me stop?

"Because I don't want you to cum too soon," I said, voice light but firm. "I want you to hold it for me. I know you can."

He whimpered softly, frustration clear, but he didn't argue. "Okay," he breathed.

"Good boy," I said, smiling. “Now stroke again, nice and slow this time. Don't get in such a hurry. Just feel how hard you are for me."

He did as I ordered and I could hear the soft, slick sound of his hand moving along his cock. "God- I'm so close," he muttered.

"Not yet," I reminded him, my voice firm. "Hold it, baby. I know you can."

He groaned at that but didn't stop, his hand moving slowly along his length as he tried to hold back. "F-Fuck," he whispered. "I don't think I can wait much longer."

"You can," I said softly. "You're doing so well, James. Just a little longer, okay?"

He whimpered, frustration evident, but he didn't argue. "O-okay," he muttered.

"Good boy," I said, dragging my words out in a praising manner "Now, I want you to stroke a little faster. Not too fast, just enough to keep you on the edge."

He obeyed, his hand moving faster now, his breathing heavy and ragged. "Fuck," he whispered again. "I'm so fucking close.".

"Wait, I told him firmly. "Don't come yet, baby, let's wait for me."

He groaned, but he didn't stop. "I don't think I can wait.. much longer," he admitted with desperation as i listened to the wet noises on the other end.

"You can," I whispered. "You're so close, but I want you to hold it just a little longer. I know you can do it."

He whimpered again and again, but he didn't argue. "Okay.. okay…" he muttered.

"Good boy," I whispered as I listened to him. "Now, I want you to stroke faster. As fast as you can, but don't come yet. I want you right on the edge."

"Fuck, I'm so close," he whispered, his voice shaking with need.

Wait," I ordered sternly, my voice even while my own belly writhed. "Not yet, James. Wait for me."

"I-can't," he panted. "I'm gonna cum."

"Not yet," I breathed again, whispered soft in the phone speaker. "You're doing so good, baby. Just a little bit longer, okay?”

He whimpered. "Shit," he whispered again. "I'm so fucking close."

"Now," I said, my voice firm. "I want you to cum for me, James. It's okay to cum now.”

He groaned, his body shook, letting it all go, the hit he was going to take. I heard him, his breath caught in his throat; I heard his body shake hard as he came, and I smiled within myself at the rush of warmth and satisfaction building inside me.

"Good boy," I whispered softly, my voice full of warmth as I listened to him come down from his high. "You did so good, baby."

He breathed a soft sigh, groaning withgasps. "Fuck," he muttered. "That was…"

"Good?" I filled in for him, smiling.

"Y-yeah," he breathed. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too, baby," I said softly. "But I'm glad I could help."

He chuckled, his voice soft and tired. "You always know exactly what I need."

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

it doesn't have the depth and breadth of Station Eleven I think but like I said in my post earlier that basically sums up my thoughts on this whole matter: it isn't MEANT to have the same oceanic forest depths as Station Eleven does. they are different books with different theses and the near-brevity of Sea of Tranquility is, I think, part of its charm. Station Eleven's thesis was, I really do believe, "they had light inside as well as cold". it's about the warmth inside the pain and inherent bitterness of humanity. it's about survival being insufficient. and Sea of Tranquility looks at that and, in a bit of conversation with the same topics, asks, what if survival IS sufficient, BECAUSE there's light inside as well as cold? what if mere survival is the POINT — it doesn't have to be great art, it doesn't have to be the Traveling Symphony carrying on the legacy of performance that binds all of humanity together. sometimes, even most of the time, the fact that we exist is enough. survival is sufficient enough for love to have a chance, in whatever form it may take. and sometimes that means a time traveler breaking all the rules and saving the life of the author who named him. because even if everything is vanity, vanity, all is vanity, life itself offers an opportunity to choose kindness.

the way Sea Of Tranquility said what if life was possibly a simulation or some other omniscient thing we don't understand BUT what actually matters most is humanity and making the choice to care. the simulation hypothesis doesn't make anything meaningless the way it would in a lesser story, in fact it does the opposite. in a world that's a thought exercise, it's all-important to just be kind

LU MY DARLING SO TRUE IT'S SOOOO GOOD ISN'T IT!!! tbh I was a bit irritated at first about the whole simulation hypothesis thing and how prominently it features in Gaspery's thought process, but I quite liked that the conclusion he comes to is that whether or not his reality is real, life is still important and precious and sacred in its own right, and so is the task of loving your neighbour. I think Mandel comes to a similar humanist conclusion in Station Eleven (I don't think she's a Christian ? There's definitely a sense of "humanity's all we've got, and we need to learn to love or we'll destroy each other"... but in her writing, she has a lot of faith in humanity's capacity to be kind in a cruel world). There were times in both books when I wanted to say, "But that's not all there is! You're writing about a beautiful reality surfacing from a cruel one, but there's another one overlying all of this that is even deeper and greater and wider and more beautiful, and one that humanity can't even begin to imagine yet!" But then again I was in great "longing for heaven hours" mode while listening to both audiobooks, so that took up a lot of my thought process :) She does SUCH a lovely job at peeling back the layers of each character and in the process of showing them how to show compassion, shows us how to show compassion, too.

How did you like it in comparison to Station Eleven? They're pretty different books (genre-wise, but also the subjects and themes they cover--even though the core of both stories are, I think, pretty similar)!

[copperbadge]

Immediate Writer's Block

Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:

constant-state-of-self-discovery Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol

I do have some advice on this!

I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.

An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.

Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.

And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.

So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.

[hannigramislife]

Question: What's your opinion on all Dazai ships? I personally think that literally everyone could do better <3

Omgg anon, I love this ask so goddamn much!! Okay, let's get into it-this is gonna be long.

Two things before I continue. One, I'm a Hannigram fan, make of that what you will. Secondly, shipping does not mean "oh, these two are definitely canon, they have feelings for each other," shipping has always meant "I love their dynamic and can see a world where it could be romantic." That's why we have more than one.

Soukoku (Dazai/Chuuya) - Obviously this was gonna be my first choice to start this conversation. I think that soukoku is textually supported. I'm sorry, but there's just some things you don't write if you don't want people to ship two characters. These two are written for each other, therefore a perfectly valid ship. I myself do not ship skk, don't care about them as a ship at all, but I can certainly see the appeal. They have a history, and they're now on opposite sides, but still every bit the lethal team-up. I don't get the emotional side of it though – they inspire no such feeling in me, and I do believe Chuuya could definitely do better XD

Kunizai (Kunikida/Dazai) - This one I actually like quite a lot. I don't necessarily ship them in canon, but I believe they're good for each other. Kunikida with his rigidness and morals and Dazai with his carelessness and disaster that seems to follow him. I also like how Kunikida has a book where he jots down the best way to live, and Dazai has a book he carries around on how to die. I believe they're very different, but the sincere trust and care they have for each other, as well as the easiness of their partnership is something they both rely on and need. 10/10 ship.

Dazatsu (Dazai/Atsushi) - The age gap here is the biggest problem for people from what I've seen, but I don't think this is a proship or a bad ship that should be discouraged. Again, I don't ship it, but I feel it's perfectly fine if you do? "Oh, there's a power imbalance-" bitch, what power imbalance?? Like, you do know they're coworkers, right? Yes, Dazai saved him and Atsushi is grateful, but Atsushi is not stupid or blindly devoted or whatever. What he is, is mentally ill, but then again, so is Dazai, and if you think Dazai would take advantage of him, then that says more about Dazai as a character than it does the ship itself. Atsushi could definitely do better, and to me, that better is Akutagawa XD

Morizai (Mori/Dazai) - Well, I don't think I have any thoughts on this, other than the obvious ones. Dazai was a child in the Mafia, and they do seem to have a more guardian/ward relationship, fucked up as it is. Mori was definitely at least mentally and emotionally abusive to Dazai, from what we've seen. I don't think anyone would actually ship this? Unless you're talking purely fanfic scenarios. In this case, Dazai could do better. So yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and "nope" this.

Odazai (Oda/Dazai) - Now listen. Again, I don't ship this (I don't know if I ship anything that has Dazai, I hate the man), but if you think Oda and Dazai had a father/son relationship, you're delusional. Dazai cared so much for Oda, and upon reading Beast, I refuse to believe there was no universe where Dazai developed feelings for him. I think of them every time I listen to any Adele songs. "Them" being their Beast version. I'm so serious. This is a valid ship far as I'm concerned.

Dazaku (Dazai/Akutagawa) - This one is a ship that I get so riled up about. Because of the fandom. I honestly never gave this ship a second thought until I saw how hated it was. Then, I realized it's hated for all the wrong goddamn reasons. I don't ship it, because I hate Dazai on principle, but sometimes, I feel like I'm shipping it out of spite. It's like people can't make up their minds about the dynamic of these two. When you want to say Dazai abused Akutagawa, they'll be like "Oh, Dazai was a child, too!" Then you say they both grew and are healing – and maybe Dazai cared after all? – and it's all "You can't ship him with his abuser!" Well, which is it now? Is Dazai a bad guy still? Is it so wrong to want Dazai to care? To imagine Dazai pulling Akutagawa into the light with him? When people vehemently hate on this ship, I take that to mean "Yeah, Dazai is the worst, how could you ship Akutagawa with him?" Which, great take, I'm all for that. This ship is overhated in my opinion. Both Dazai and Akutagawa are two important pillars of what makes Bsd what it is. Their relationship is complicated and messy and important – so yeah, I'm not surprised people would ship this. Sometimes, toxic yaoi is where it's at, and you just wanna fix them. Akutagawa can DEFINITELY do better.

Souheki (Dazai/Ranpo) - I think they're besties. Absolutely nothing romantic here for me. I cannot see it, but I love them both, so I'd read fics at least. They're both geniuses who hold deep respect for each other. They may be able to understand each other much quicker and on a deeper level than other people, but I think they'd be a disaster if they were to date. Absolutely not. Plus, I'm a huge Ranpoe fan, so I'm biased.

Fyozai (Fyodor/Dazai) - They have a lot of tension, I'll give them that. They're two pretty, genius bitches playing 3 dimensional chess while everyone else plays checkers. Plus, being on opposite sides?? I can appreciate some enemies to lovers when I see it. I think if I were Fyodor, I'd definitely be interested in this young man who can match my intellect even as I've been alive since Jesus Christ was born. Also, don't ask me why, but they feel so gay when they're together – just, not for each other? I think in a no powers au, they'd definitely experiment together lmao. So, valid ship in-universe? I'm going to allow it. They could both do better.

Sigzai (Sigma/Dazai) - I don't know how this ship got popular?? I mean, sure?? Great ship?? Genuinely don't know what to say. I mean, they're there and they're both pretty?? I guess? Honestly, Sigma reminded me of Akutagawa, it was kinda funny to see. But go off XD??

I think that was it, lemme know if I forgot any major ships!

[backboneofthevees]

VELVETTE HEADCANNONS!

Not my usual post, but I thought I'd share! Have fun reading :)

♡ (if it wasn't obvious enough) She's a lesbian! I love the little girl-liker third wheel to a mlm couple (vox and val) her and the other vees have going on, plus the velvette x verosika art i see is ALWAYS so beautiful!

♡ referring to this post below:

She owns corsets (yet doesnt use them much because LOOK AT THAT WAIST), and one or two have definitely been stolen....by both of her male conterparts.

♡ She sews! Not ALL the time, since she's busy doing things like running shows and doing photoshoots, but I feel like it'd be a little something nice to do in her free time. Blasting some music while tailoring a new coat or something.

♡ She only wears the same colors. I know this is a little obvious from the few outfit changes she has in the show, but imagine it. A large walk-in closet filled with ONLY pink, purple, white and black. (And perhaps a singular green christmas sweater.) They're not ALL just dresses and jackets, she has pants and t-shirts too. She just likes to dress femme and throws in a masc/more casual outfit from time to time.

♡ She has a diverse music taste. I might me self-projecting here a bit, but I think it'd be pretty cute to see hee listening to different types of music. Like listening to something metal/punk when wearing an 'emo' outfit (one thst consists of mostly black) or some pop/r&b when dressing up in her normal dress-and-tights- combo. It helps her get in the mood.

♡ She has a close relationship with Vox and Valentino. This is also shown in the actual show, seeing how docile they are around eachother, but I imagine the boys and Vel having a brother-sistertjust generally close relationship, like Val and Vel would talk shit and go shopping one day or Vox and Vel talking about the shoots they're doing/planning on doing and having their nails done together. (Painting Vox's claws or sharpening them since he doesn't really have nails.)

♡ She's a little nerdy. I'm not talking about book-nerd, more likke a genuinely-invested-in-fashion-and-knows-about-its-history nerd. Like she'll read up on magazines or articles about how the kitten heel came to be or fun facts about the creator of a specific clothing brand she likes. She doesn't bring it up often, more of a random thing she'll drop into a conversation to keep it going. Also, since she's on her phone all the time, I think she'd be a little bit of a tech wiz like Vox. Like he'll give her a prototype for a new V-Phone and ask her about any bugs or special features. She'll evaluate it and Vox would give her his credit card for a day as a thank you.

♡ She has a major sweet tooth. I'm not saying she's constantly eating candy, given her figure and those crisp pearly whites, but whenever she's going out she'll get a milkshake or perhaps a little sweet treat at a local bakery. Not nicely, but still.

♡ Her full name, when she was still alive, was Veronica Barbie Hernandez, hinting at a latina/mexcian background. Her friends usually called her by her middle name or just Barb, since she had (and still does) such an affliction for having cute outfits and wearing pink. (I might draw her aswell as the rest of the vee's as humans, who knows)

♡ She has a doll body. This is a bit of a short one, but since she's based of a doll like Vox is a TV and Valentino is a moth, she has a plastic-y, smooth doll body. Specifically a ball-jointed doll body. (She can also pop off her limbs and/or head with little to no pain, using it to scare the boys during halloween or whenever she feels like it.)

♡ She's in her early 30s-late 20s, Vox and Val being around 30-40.

♡ She has 2 cats, one white cat named PomPom, and one tabby cat named Spike.

♡ Her favorite musicals are Heathers and Hairspray. (heathers fans hmu)

♡ Despite being known as 'the girly one', she grew up with 2 brothers. Both are dead and are running around somewhere in Hell, probably.

♡ She helps pick out outfits for the boys, despite them wearing (like almost every other male character) suit-like attire. She LOVES trying on dresses with Val, though.

♡ She goes out often. To shop, get food, get drunk, or to just walk around town and blog for her live feed. God forbid you bump into her though, especially if she's holding a drink (or just anything that could spill on her/something expensive she bought dropping onto the ground). She'll EXPLODE.

That's all for now! Feel free to ask for more or just anything else <3

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Book of the Damned: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Charlie found the Book of the Damned which has the spell to undo the curse of the Mark. You've made yourself clear but they're not listening to you. What better way to show Dean how serious you are than to hit him where it hurts: Your kids, Sam, and Charlie.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

You walk in from the kitchen to the library when you stop short just before you're seen. Sam and Dean are talking inside with Cas on speakerphone. Do they know you're here? Do they care? They walk on eggshells whenever you're around so it's refreshing to hear what they talk about when you're not around.

"Can I just kill him now?" Cas groans.

"You know I can hear you, right?" Metatron says from the seat next to him.

So, he's got Metatron, huh? Interesting.

"No, we need him alive for now. Look, after he gives you your Grace back, you can do whatever you want with him," Sam answers.

You'd love nothing more than to drive an angel blade through his pathetic little heart.

"He's human now. How do you kill one slowly and torturously?"

Or maybe just a regular blade will work. A human Metatron brings a smirk to your face.

"I am like two feet from you."

"Anything on the Mark of Cain?" Cas asks, ignoring his human passenger.

The smirk on your face disappears when you hear Cas' words. They're still looking for it. Dean lied to you. You have two options: One, you can go inside and confront them, causing you to either hurt them badly or kill them. Two, you can wait to see what they're up to and figure out how you can benefit from it only to kill them afterwards. You like that plan. You stay hidden and listen in on their conversation.

"No. I mean, I've been digging for something, for anything, but I don't know Cas."

"There is an answer out there. We will find a cure for Dean and Y/N."

Unlikely. Even if they do find it, you'll destroy it in front of them so that they can see all their hard work is gone only to realize you'll be stuck like this forever. Now only if you knew where your soul was, you'd destroy that, too.

"I don't know why you'd want to cure those little firecrackers now. They're finally interest--" Cas punches Metatron in the face based on the sound the human makes. "Ooh!"

"Keep digging," Cas says to the brothers.

Cas hangs up the phone and you're about to go inside when you hear them continue the conversation.

"I have been checking through everything again, double-checking, triple-checking, and--"

"The Mark is a curse," Dean cuts his brother off.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Sam scoffs.

"No, I mean it's an actual curse. Listen, I forgot to mention something about our run-in with Crowley and his mother. Rowena told Crowley that the Mark is a curse. We've dealt with curses. The cure is out there somewhere. Y/N is getting suspicious, okay? You have to work harder. I know it's not fair to ask that of you but she's close to finding out we're still looking for it."

You weren't but it's nice to know that he has that fear in him whenever you walk into a room. If they succeed and take this gift off you, you'll be left with no soul. Your body will crave the power it once had. Will you still have magic if it's removed? You don't think so. The Mark gave you magic to help feed it. Without the Mark, you won't have magic. Scarlet Witch magic is much different than Sapphire Witch magic. Both are powerful but chaos magic is so much more deadly and unpredictable. You love that. You won't part with it.

Sam's phone rings and Dean decides to answer it since Sam is still looking through books.

"Winchester Accounting. How may I help you?" His tone goes serious. "Charlie? What's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm exhausted and I'm bleeding. I'm in a phone booth. A phone booth. I didn't know these things existed outside of Bill and Ted's."

"Okay. Hey, take a deep breath, kiddo. We're both sitting here. Tell me what happened. Why are you bleeding? "

"Is Y/N around?" she pants.

"No."

Are they really that stupid that they won't check where you are? You guess they are.

"I got shot. Did you know dental floss works great on stitches? I only passed out twice, and I'm pretty sure my wound is now minty fresh."

"Charlie, you probably need to go to a hospital," Sam says.

"No, no, I'm fine. I just have to get someplace safe. These guys are still after me."

"What guys? Who?"

"Some southern fried d-bags. They've been after me since I dug up 'The Book of the Damned'."

Book of the Damned? Now this is where things get interesting. Maybe you don't kill anyone yet. Maybe you hold off until you know more about this book. Something like that must mean more power for you and the Mark.

"You found it? Where?"

"After some near misses and some broken into museums, I found historical documents that led to a monastery in Spain. It burned down years ago, left for dead, but I had this hunch about it. Turned out I was right."

"What does it say about the Mark?"

"I have no fracking idea. The language it's written in... I've never seen anything like it. I found some research notes in the monastery crypt, though, by the Friar who buried it. 'The Book of the Damned' is a spell book for creating or undoing any kind of damnation there is. If we translate this thing, I think we can get the Mark of Cain off you and Y/N, Dean."

No, they won't but it will be fun to let them think they will.

"Charlie, you're a genius," Dean smiles.

"A genius fugitive. These dudes following me are well-trained. One of them keeps talking about his family."

"Family? Did you get a name?"

"No clue. I spotted a tattoo on one of them. Might be a family crest. It seemed occultly. As soon as the book was out of the ground, they were all over me. I don't know how much more running I got left in me. They're tracking the book somehow."

"Alright, then we need to get you off the grid, Charlie. Where are you right now?" Sam asks.

"Just south of Des Moines."

"Okay, our friend Bobby, has a whole bunch of cabins scattered all around, places for hunters to crash. It's not much but there's some gear, lore books, and stuff to keep you busy til we get there."

"Okay, bring snacks and every Men of Letters decoder ring there is. This book is old and scary, and I've never seen anything like it."

Old and scary, huh? You bet you're scarier. The thought of it being so dangerous is enough to return the smirk to your face. Okay, you have to think about what you're going to do here. If you walk into the room right now and declare you're going with them, they're going to know you want the book destroyed. You have to come up with some reason they'll believe that will give you an in. Once you do that, you'll destroy the book and their hopes of ever finding a cure.

Once you do that, you're going to hunt down your children and take them away from Dean. His time has expired. It's time for you to make good on your threats.

"So, road trip?" you ask when you step foot into the library. The look on Sam and Dean's faces almost has you laughing. They look so scared. You can't wait to see their faces when they've realized they lost. "Yes, I know you found the book. If you're going to put someone on speakerphone, do it when you know I'm not around."

Dean opens his mouth but can't seem to form any words. He's so scared you're going to go after his kids now. You love having this power over them. You have to give them a reason to believe you're good now, that you want to change otherwise you won't get very far.

"Don't worry, I've done a lot of soul searching." You laugh at your joke. "Life without the Mark wouldn't be so bad."

"What?" Sam asks.

"I want my old life back."

"You do?" Dean asks when he's found his voice.

"Look, I'm tired of you two hunting me, beating me down, and all over my ass. The sooner I get the Mark off me, the sooner I can find my soul. I'll be back to normal. You know, all gushy and full of emotions." Sam and Dean look at each other but they're still not sure if it's a good idea to bring you along. "If you don't take me with you, I'll just follow you anyway."

"Fine. Get in the car."

"Gladly."

You turn and leave the library. Step one is done. Now all you have to do is play the part like a good little girl. Sam and Dean look at each other once you're gone.

"Shit, she knows we're still looking for it," Dean panics. "Is this another one of her tricks?"

"We'd be idiots if we think it's not. Look, if she's with us, she's not with your kids. We just keep her busy until we figure out what game she's playing."

"I hate this," Dean sighs.

"I know. Me too."

"Come on, Charlie needs us."

Sam and Dean pack what they need including a metal box that is lead-lined and warded. If they are going to be messing around with the Book of the Damned, they'll need something to protect it with. Plus, Sam thinks it'll be enough to get it off the radar. Once you're on the road, you're spread out in the backseat with your legs stretched over the entire bench while Sam and Dean are in the front. They're scared to talk about anything with you in the car which gives you joy.

They make it so easy.

"So, are you really on board with the cure for the Mark?" Dean asks wearily.

"What, you don't want your wife back?"

"Yeah, but--"

"Then take me to that book," you cut him off.

You put in your headphones to make it look like you're not listening to them to give them a false sense of security. Just like you suspected, they immediately start yapping when they think you can't hear them.

"How are you doing?" Sam asks.

"Actually good. You heard Charlie. We got a shot at fixing this thing. We can get Y/N back."

"Yeah, if by 'shot' you mean a spell in a book that we can't read that's currently being tracked--"

"We're due for a win, okay? Overdue. I'll tell you another thing, if this actually does work, we're gonna take some time off. "

"What, like a vacation?"

"Yeah, and I'm not talking just like a weekend in Vegas or sitting in some shit motel watching pay-per-porn. No, I'm talking about a beach. Drinking Mai Tais, going for a swim, and mingling with the local wildlife. When was the last time either one of us was on a beach?"

"Never."

"Think about the sand between our toes, Sammy. Sand between our toes."

You open your music app and play one of your songs. They have hope which is what you want them to have before you burn it up and take it away. By the time you get to Charlie, it's already the next day. She is sleeping at one of the tables. Poor thing has been up all night reading notes. You look around the place and feel the book here. It's calling out to you. It wants you to have it.

You're going to get it and then destroy it so no one can use it ever again. You know, after you learn all of its secrets.

"Charlie?" Dean asks and puts a hand on her shoulder. She gasps awake and bolts up with a sticky note on her face. "Hey, it's just us."

She barely registers that you're there. She winces when she stands up. Right. She was shot.

"Were you followed?"

"No."

"How are you feeling?"

"I may have just passed out, but better." She sees you by the door and trails off fearfully. "What is she doing here?"

Dean turns to you, ignoring Charlie.

"You're on our side? Prove it. Heal her."

In order to keep up this facade, you have to do what they say. You push off the wall and walk over to Charlie. She backs up slightly for fear of what you might to do her.

"Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. I've turned over a new leaf."

You touch her shoulder and allow your magic to sink into her skin. Seconds later, her wound is healed. She grins and moves to get feeling back into her body.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Please, don't.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[666writingcafe]

you're one of our top favorite obey me writers so we'd thought we'd just slide this in here-

I've recently been fixating on a loud hispanic / latinx MC, we're puerto rican, dominican, AND cuban, so we're just super loud and over the top. i personally would love to see how the brothers and dateables would react to that. idk if you're taking requests but that'd be super cool, and the mc doesn't have to speak spanish! But we picked up an accent from our families and we'd thought that would be sooo silly if mc had one too!

Peppermint Collective

(p.s: you don't have to do this if you don't want to, we just would love to see it :D)

First of all, I appreciate the compliment. I'm grateful that you guys like my writing.

I'm going to start with the brothers and see what you all think before doing the dateables (and Luke). Hopefully, what is presented below is close to what you guys were envisioning.

Obey Me x A Loud Hispanic MC With An Accent (Part One)

Lucifer initially isn't the biggest fan of MC because the last thing he wanted was a human version of Mammon. However, as he gets to know MC, he finds their behavior rather charming. At the very least, he knows that they can keep up with his brother's energy. As for MC's accent, he finds them easier to understand when they're relatively calm, for the more excited they get, the thicker the accent becomes. This has caused MC to become irritated at him on multiple occasions, because they don't want to have to repeat themselves a bunch of times.

Mammon and MC are basically besties. He's one of the only people that can understand MC no matter what, and he makes sure to rub that in everyone's face. Like, of course the Great Mammon can keep up with MC; he was their first, after all. The two of them have been caught having entire conversations with just looks and hand gestures, and that's because they're so expressive that they don't always need words to get their point across.

Levi doesn't really know what to think of MC. On the one hand, he can't stand it when they're with Mammon, because once one gets loud, the other matches their volume, making it pretty much impossible for him to focus on anything. On the other hand, he emphasizes with them, because he tends to be loud and over-the-top too, especially when it comes to his interests. However, his energetic peaks and valleys always seem to be the exact opposite of MC's, so it's a bit difficult for them to spend much time together without getting on each others' nerves.

Satan for the most part keeps his distance from MC. It's not that he doesn't like them; rather, it's that their energy overwhelms him, and he has to maintain a certain level of calmness in order to keep his sin under control. On the rare occasions that MC speaks in an "inside" voice, Satan can listen to them talk for hours. He loves their accent. If he could catch them during a calm moment, he would like to ask him to record themselves reading some of his favorite books aloud.

Asmo and MC spend a lot of time together, because these two love to gossip. They bounce off each other quite well, actually; they give the types of reactions the other is looking for. However, there have been times where Asmo struggles a bit to understand exactly what MC's saying. He gets the general gist in these moments, but sometimes they talk so quickly and loudly that the words sort of mush together in his ears and turn into slight gibberish. And he hates it, especially when Mammon starts bragging about his relationship with MC.

Beel is used to his brothers being loud and over the top, and he's learned to treat the whole thing as white noise. So, having one more voice added in the mix really doesn't make that much of a difference to him. However, this ability to block out noise has gotten him in a bit of trouble with MC, because he doesn't do the best job at listening to them. He does try to pay attention, but when MC's in one of their more exuberant moods and starts talking a mile a minute, the old habit kicks in as he starts thinking about things completely unrelated to whatever conversation they're trying to have with him.

One might expect Belphie to despise MC due to their noisiness, but that's not really the case. Sure, there have been times where MC has prevented him from going to sleep, and that irritates him. However, that doesn't stop him from being drawn to them. He's fascinated by how MC can remain so energetic during most of their waking hours. He's also the only other brother that can understand everything that MC says. He may not appear to be paying attention, but when asked to repeat what MC said, he does so perfectly. He's even gotten on other people's case about making MC repeat themselves, because he feels like they're not that hard to understand.

[novelmonger]

So I'm a pretty big LotR fan. And I'm a pretty big fan of the movies. No, they're not perfect, but they're a really good adaptation and a truly masterful work of cinematic art. I've grown pretty familiar with the movies over the past 23 years (@_@) - and not just the movies themselves, but I also love learning all about how they were made. I've watched all the way through all the bonus material in the Extended Editions at least five times (and some of the more fun bits way more times than that XD). I've even watched all three movies with the cast commentary.

But you know what I've never done, not even at the height of my obsession when I had way more free time than I do now? I've never watched the movies with the other commentaries. It looks like there are three more commentaries, with different groups of various people on the crew, and for some reason I never got around to listening through them. I can't for the life of me think why - maybe I thought I already knew everything they'd talk about? maybe I somehow thought it would be boring??? - but today that changes!

I'm going to just jot down the main things that stick out to me that I didn't know before. I've gleaned a lot of BTS information and stories about these movies from various sources, so I'm not sure how long this will be, but I'm sure there will be some new things that jump out at me.

From the FotR writer/director commentary with Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, and Fran Walsh:

There was a draft of the script where they didn't have a prologue, and all the information about Sauron and the Ring and Gollum and everything was going to be in that conversation between Frodo and Gandalf @_@ Can you imagine? I mean, yeah, it would be more like the book, but At What Cost? (At the cost of several memes and short attention spans, that's what.)

Peter Jackson says he doesn't like magic or wizards in movies. Um...sir? Why the heck are you making fantasy movies then???

The location where they shot the Ford of Bruinen was a real ford that was used during the gold rush in New Zealand! Because New Zealand had a gold rush around the same time as the one in the U.S.!

Hugo Weaving actually did the voice of Isildur when he claims the Ring and says, "No." I have...questions.

Peter Jackson says the journey through Moria is the best sequence in the book, and Fran and Philippa say it's the best-written chapter. Interesting! I don't know what I would point to as the best-written chapter of FotR; I don't think I've ever thought of that (though I might say some of the best descriptions in this book are in Rivendell).

They said they might redo the Gollum scene in Moria to make him look more like he does in TTT. Uhhh...it's been 23 years, guys, where's my remaster? XD

The Frodo-Gandalf conversation in Moria (the "all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us" conversation) was done with forced perspective??? I never realized that! I thought they just had Elijah sit a little lower than Ian so their eyelines would be right! They totally look like they're looking into each other's eyes, but they're not! :O

"Often in movies, that's a rare thing, to have shots in which nothing is real." - Oh, PJ, if you only knew what the state of things would be in two decades....

The scene of the Fellowship mourning Gandalf outside Moria was filmed before Ian McKellan had even arrived in New Zealand! :O So they were all mourning and reacting to the death of someone they probably weren't even sure what he looked like yet!

Sean Bean was apparently the only one of the primary actors who had any experience with a sword? Or at least he had the most experience. Viggo had to do the Weathertop fight scene on his first day, when he'd never touched a sword before @_@

In Boromir's death scene, the words sung by the chorus in the background is an Elvish translation of Faramir's line "I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." ;A;

At one point, they were going to have Frodo fighting off an Uruk-Hai before he goes into the boat??? They even shot some of the footage?! Thankfully, they realized that was completely the wrong way to go about his end to this movie; it needed to be an emotional climax, not an action scene, and Frodo's victory is over his own doubts and the Ring's influence on him, when he grasps the Ring and marches forward to continue on his Quest, alone if need be. Thank goodness they realized that before it was too late.

SEAN ASTIN WAS NOT UNDERWATER IN THE SHOT OF HIM DROWNING WHAAAAAT MIND BLOWN

The shot of Boromir's boat going over the edge of the waterfall was actually footage of a barrel going over the Niagara Falls, and they just used CG to replace the barrel with the boat O.O

Fran Walsh: So Viggo's just put on Boromir's gauntlets... Me, a nerd: Vambraces, actually.

[tryslora]

Hi

Do you have any advice on dialogue and how to make it flow?

I'm constantly stuck with "he said as he looked away"

"He smirked and replied"

It never feels flowy

I don't write fics I mostly write OC stuff so I have to build around my characters to really put them together.

It's just having my quiet and stoic character respond to the hyperactive pyromaniac is hard because one doesn't speak much and the other speaks too much.

Or when my other two characters are in the conversation it gets all messy and hard to keep up with who is talking and what they're doing.

Maybe I'm just blind to my own writing and don't see everything I want to see, yknow?

Hullo, Nonnie.

I’m so sorry for taking so long to reply to this question! Life has been… a particular form of chaos for the last couple of months, and I’m trying to wrangle all my tasks under control now. Which includes keeping up with responses and blogging!

ANYWAY. You’ve asked a really great question, and I’ll admit, I might struggle to answer it.

I’m one of those folks for whom the personalities come first—complete with dialogue patterns and habits—before I get descriptions, setting, plot, or oh… anything else… so breaking down how to best make your dialogue snappy and flow means taking a step back from what I do and looking at how I do it.

This is going to be a mix of advice from how I do things, and advice I’ve adopted and found useful from other writers.

First and foremost: there are two parts to creating natural, flowing dialogue. One is the dialogue itself—the words the characters choose, and how they come out—and the other is the description around it (such as the dialogue tags you reference in your examples). They have different focuses, but both are important to how the text flows.

I’m going to drop a caveat here first, because it’s my downfall: we, as humans (and uh, especially those of us with ADHD, *cough cough me*), have a tendency to repeat ourselves. We also um, ah, like, y’know, a lot. Some of this is fantastic in dialogue. Too much can change flow into drag. So. With everything else I say, please take that into account as well. When I’m editing, I have been learning to trim out the spaces where I am saying or doing the same thing multiple times in a few paragraphs. BUT. That’s the important part—it can ALL be fixed in edits!

Let’s talk words first. You say you have quiet and stoic character matched up with a hyperactive chatterbox (a dynamic I enjoy). And you’re right, this can be tough when the stoic character is like “grunt” or “mm” or “yeah” and there’s nothing else coming out. BUT. This is true to the character and gives great insight—in this case, the character’s actual dialogue is going to come from their actions. So, we’ll get to that.

The thing with the stoic character is that every word needs to mean something. Every word they say is going to be solid and important because they say so little. It might even be overloaded. I’ll admit, with this kind of character, I love writing from their POV because I can put the few words out into the open, but let them ramble inside their own head (which yes, can sometimes be like pulling teeth). I get that flow out of their thoughts more than what they say. The freebie story I drafted for my newsletter subscribers is an outtake missing scene from my next book written from the point of view of my (more) stoic character in the book, because I wanted to play with that myself.

For the chatterbox, I’m curious—do they talk so much in order to hide what they’re really feeling? I know most of my talkative characters are spilling everything in order to hide in plain sight. After all, if you’ve left every card on the table, no one can claim you’re hiding something. Even if you are leaving that one important thing out (keeping a last ace up your sleeve), no one will notice in the glut of other information.

One way to handle this is to have the stoic character really listen and pay attention to what’s underneath all the chatter. Let them respond to the one thing that really means something in the flow of words, which might stop your chatterbox in their tracks. Being seen/heard can be a shock for the kind of character who lets it all hang out.

Let’s get back to those dialogue tags and talk about actions. Every character (every person!) has body language that does a lot of the talking for them. If someone’s arms are crossed, they might be resistant to and idea, or they might be cold, or they might be trying to hold themself still. One of the things I’ve done is to roleplay my character through a scene—move like they move, fall into why they say what they say, and what they do when they are not saying something to hold back. What actions do they take, and how can I put that on the page? Not just movement, but also what do they smell/see, what’s going on inside their head, and all the why involved.

And here’s the thing: sometimes “He says” is a valid way to do it. It’s okay. Let the dialogue do its thing and don’t worry. Remember, you can add blocking later, if you need it. 

Here, quick example from one of my serialized pieces:

“I don’t feel like I can talk to Hannah.” Nevaeh scrunches up her nose. “God, no, I don’t mean that I want to be involved with her. Just. She was so weird about Stevie, and I think she might get even weirder if I asked Liz out. And I don’t know if Liz is even ready to do dating things. Or if she’s into girls! We’ve never talked about it. Why is it all so weird and complicated?” That’s one thing Pawel can answer. “Because humans are gloriously complicated beings, and we have a tendency to take even things that could be simple and overcomplicate them by worrying at them. Anxiety, intelligence, fear… they all make things feel big. And these questions are both very big and very small all at once.” “Because labels are helpful, but not necessary,” Nevaeh says. “Because they make it easier and harder all at once.” “Yes.” He’s not sure if she really gets it, so he adds, “Follow your heart.” “Is that what you do?” No, it’s not. Pawel has too many things to weigh before he can make any decisions. His career. The kids in his care. His own son. There are so many variables in his life, and he hasn’t had any chance to just leap after emotional responses. Not since Conor was conceived. Not since Chelsea first disappeared. “When I can.” He glances sideways at her, away from where Alanna and Jennie have finally stopped their game and are on the swings. “I’m glad you feel comfortable talking to me.”

This is a chatterbox teen talking to the guy her two dads are trying to bring into their relationship. And Pawel is a chatterbox as well, but he’s definitely the kind who will talk constantly in order to not say a lot of things, which is illustrated by letting him ramble internally in the final paragraph of the example.

Also, they’ve been given a setting where they are both somewhat distracted by two of Neveah’s siblings playing at the park, so they have something to do. If I were better, I’d have included things about summer scents, the sky, etc. etc. in the descriptions (they are my downfall).

If you look at the dialogue, you’ll see that the sentences are all over the place in length. Long ones, short ones, and ones that aren’t much more than fragments. I try to echo how people really talk, but avoid the pitfalls of things getting circular or buried in extra words (except Neveah says “like” a lot and it is absolutely on purpose).

One of the biggest things for me is being inside the head of the point of view character. Being able to hear the things they don’t say can really help when it feels like they aren’t saying anything, and you a build a whole story in those subtleties. Kind of like having subtitles that interpret what’s happening rather than what’s said.

If you have a lot of characters, it’s going to get confusing—90% of the book I excerpted above included multiple adults on screen and 7 or 8 kids. It was chaos. People talk over each other. In those cases a simple “Neveah says” is the easiest tag. Let them talk, and let the dialogue shine. And if characters have quirks, let those shine, too. If someone’s screaming about sugary desserts in that book, it’s probably Jennie—no need for an attribution. Growling is Leo. Finishing each others’ sentences are Emma and Conor. Spattered with “like” is Neveah. Little quirks and details are things you can hang a lot on.

And just to say… yeah, we’re all blind to our own writing. It happens. We are so close to our own words that it’s hard to see them as words anymore. I usually have to set something aside for months if I want to do a truly deep edit on it, because I need to see it as Not Mine first. Then I can be objective. Do you have a reader? Either an alpha cheerleader, or a beta you trust? That’s the best. They can tell you if they trip over something, or if something feels stilted. Or if you’ve had someone shrug six times on one page (I certainly do that, like, all the freakin’  TIME).

And in the end, less is more. It’s okay to strip things back and focus more on sentence length and how words taste in your mouth if you read them aloud. It’s okay to write just the conversation first, then figure out how they move around each other while talking. It’s okay to write the blocking first, then fit the dialogue around that. Sometimes stepping back to one piece of the puzzle helps the other one shine in your mind’s eye.

I’ve rambled a lot, and I’m not sure if this is what you were looking for. And uh, again, I’m sorry how late this response it. I really hope you are still here and see this!!

Best of luck with your words, Nonnie. And remember: whatever you write today, that’s another step on your writing journey. It’s okay to delete them, edit them, love them, put them in a box for later… whatever you want to do. Just write them, and tomorrow write a little more. Even if this isn’t your final book, pieces of it will come back in another way later. I’m currently writing “fic” of people I’ve been building over the last uhhh thirty or so years. 

Enjoy your characters and your stories. And remember, everything comes with time. Keep writing, and keep learning. You’ve got this!

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Prompt: "Why are you still here? I would have thought the conversation would be too civilized for you."

Pairing: CrozBucky

They're at a pub in London. It's crowded and loud, and Harry's got a hand on Bucky's back so he doesn't lose him in the crowd when he hears someone say something about trends in American publishing.

His head snaps towards the conversation, surprised to hear it in a posh British accent. He zeroes in on the person talking--an RAF man at a table with three others--and walks towards them without thinking.

"Excuse me," he says. "Did I hear you talking about trends in American publishing?"

The RAF man gives Harry a hell of a stink eye. Probably thinks Harry's about to start a fight or something. Harry can't blame him. The last two times he'd been in this pub, there'd been fights between the Americans and the Brits. "Are you about to tell me you know something about American publishing?"

"I was getting my Master's in Literature before I joined up," Harry says. "I haven't had a good talk about publishing trends since before boot camp."

The RAF man's whole demeanor changes. He pats the empty chair next to him. "Sit," he says. "Wiltson," he says, pointing at himself. He introduces the other men.

"Harry Crosby," Harry says.

Bucky's at the table suddenly, a whiskey in one hand and a martini in the other. "Thought you'd gotten trampled," he says, grinning at Harry and holding out his martini. He nods at the other men at the table. "Mind if I squeeze in?" he asks. He drops into the last empty chair--the one across from Harry--and beams. "How you doing, fellas?"

WIltson gives Bucky a searching look, then shrugs. "We're discussing recent trends in American book publishing, particularly the rise in narratives around small American towns."

Harry sits up a little straighter, unable to hide his excitement. "Oh! I have a theory about this!"

"For once, I think we'd all enjoy the American perspective," Wiltson says, and Harry laughs along with the RAF boys. So does Bucky, who leans back in his chair presses his ankle against Harry's under the table.

"GIve 'em hell, Professor," Bucky says.

Harry cuts him a quick, amused look, then starts explaining his theory. The RAF boys all lean in closer, sometimes interrupting with questions or adding commentary on the likes and differences between Britain and the United States.

Harry finishes his first martini, and Bucky hops up, whisking his glass off the table and giving Harry a quick smile as he turns towards the bar. Harry gives him a nod of thanks, but he's more interested in Wiltson explaining a point about British publishing in the 1920s.

Bucky returns, and Harry expects him to put his martini on the table and go find his own fun. Instead, Bucky sits down across from Harry again and reaches across the table to rub his thumb across Harry's fingertips.

Harry stretches his arm out a little so he and Bucky can hold hands, and the conversation continues. Bucky brushes his thumb back and forth on Harry's knuckles as the conversation shifts to new genres coming into popularity.

All the RAF boys get up to refill their glasses at the same time. Harry's only halfway though his new martini, so he stays put. He looks at Bucky, who's taking a sip of his whiskey. "Why are you still here?" he asks, giving Bucky a grin to make him grin in return. "I would have thought the conversation would be too civilized for you."

Bucky barks a laugh and kicks Harry's ankle lightly under the table. "Hey, I read."

Harry leans in and pulls Bucky's hand to his mouth, kissing his fingers in apology. "You do," he agrees. "But you could be playing darts or telling tall tales, not sitting here listening to me be boring."

Bucky shrugs. "It's not boring," he says. "I don't know a lot about how books get made, so I'm learning a lot. Plus, I get to watch you get excited about something you don't get to talk about a lot. It's nice. You're all lit up."

Harry ducks his head, Bucky's easy affection making him feel shivery. "I miss talking about it like this," he says. "I don't usually miss it, but I heard them talking, and it was like..."

"Cold water in the desert?" Bucky asks. "To use a metaphor."

"It's a simile," Harry replies, though the bright spark of mischief in Bucky's eyes tells him Bucky is well aware.

"Whatever you say, Professor," Bucky says. He finishes his drink and stands. "Come on, keep up," he says. "You're talking more than you're drinking."

Harry rolls his eyes but throws back the rest of his drink. He watches Bucky cut through the crowd, sees him belly up to the bar right next to Wiltson and say something that makes Wiltson laugh.

When the RAF boys come back, Wiltson thumps Harry on the shoulder. "That fella you're with sure doesn't seem like the quiet type."

"He's not, usually," Harry says, and the fact that Bucky's stayed quiet because he's enjoyed watching Harry talk about books makes Harry feel shivery again. "But what makes you say that?"

"He introduced himself properly," Wiltson says, "and I realized I've heard stories at every pub in town."

Harry snorts. "Yeah, that's about right," he says. "One of these days, maybe the market will shift so everyone can write them down."

"No one would believe it," another of the RAF men says. "They sound fake half the time as it is and they'll certainly be embellished by anyone who writes them."

"You need a no-nonsense writer," WIltson says, "Someone who keeps their prose simple. That's how you convince people it really happened."

By the time Bucky comes back from the bar, there's a spirited argument about who could do it best. When Harry explains to Bucky what the argument is, he laughs and takes Harry's hand again.

"You'd do it best," he says to Harry in an undertone. "You'd be the nicest."

"Well, I do like you," Harry replies and squeezes Bucky's hand. Bucky squeezes back.

[laurellerual]

Ser Gendry

The topic of the day is: Gendry doesn't want to be a blacksmith for the rest of his life. Alright, now let's argue.

Eddard

In the first scene where we meet him, the blacksmith's apprentice has made a bull helmet, but:

"This is fine work. I would be pleased if you would let me buy it." The boy snatched it out of his hands. "It's not for sale." [...] "I made it for me," the boy said stubbornly.

Ned offers to give him a 'military' education, and his words sound somewhat prophetic.

"If the day ever comes when Gendry would rather wield a sword than forge one, send him to me. He has the look of a warrior. Until then, you have my thanks, Master Mott, and my promise. [...]”

Martin does not describe Gendry's reaction to these words, but it's important to notice that when Ned sees the helm it's "raw steel, unpolished but expertly shaped.". And than, in Arya's chapters Gendry does nothing but spend his time polishing it. (also "Robert was true steel").

Needle

We know that the helmet represents for Gendry much more than his career as a blacksmith, it's personal. Even Arya recognizes that it is as important to him as Needle is to her.

She adds two of the Mountain's men to her payer for the theft of Needle and the helmet, because they are more than objects, they are a part of their identity.

Arya watched and listened and polished her hates the way Gendry had once polished his horned helm.

Acorn Hall

The decision to join the Brotherhood Without Banners from Arya's POV seems sudden and almost unwarranted but it isn't. In fact, Gendry tried to talk about it with Arya well before, but she didn't understand it and he wasn't able to explain himself.

It's him who asks her to go to the forge and it's him who begins the conversation talking about war heroes: Thoros, Robert and the siege of Pike. At Acorn Hall Gendry puts down the blacksmith's tools.

Gendry hung the tongs back up and took down the heavy hammer. “Master Mott said it was time I made my first longsword. He gave me a sweet piece of steel, and I knew just how I wanted to shape the blade. Only Yoren came, and took me away for the Night’s Watch.”

So we find out that Gendry has never forged a single sword, and when he talks about his first sword he describes it in particular. He doesn't sounds like a blacksmith who takes charge of a customer's commission, he sounds like a boy who, after having made a coll helm all for himself, now dreams of having a sword to match it.

But Arya doesn't see where the conversation is going and she says:

 “You can still make swords if you want,” said Arya. “You can make them for my brother Robb when we get to Riverrun.” “Riverrun.” Gendry put the hammer down and looked at her. “You look different now. Like a proper little girl.”

He stops, puts down the last instrument too and repeats: “Riverrun.” and then he changes the subject.

The BWB

In the books, Gendry doesn't get a chance to explain his motivations to stay with Lord Beric to Arya like he does in the show, but I think they're similar.

The clue is the flaming sword. Gendry talks about it right in the Acorn Hall scene and insists on explaining that it's just a trick (done with wildfire and ruins the blade).

But then the two see Beric setting fire to his sword to fight the Hound. Arya asks if it's wildfire, but no! This time it's not just a trick, this time it's real. Something has changed.

The Hound's trial convinced him of the principles of brotherhood and convinced him of the existence of the red god. So:

"Arise Ser Gendry, knight of the hollow hill, and be welcome to our brotherhood."

Brienne

Now he is a knight! Unfortunately everything go super wrong: Arya is kidnapped, Beric dies, LSH, the brotherhood changes and Gendry finds himself carrying out his vow to protect the innocents at the Crossroads Inn by picking up his blacksmith hammer again. But that doesn't seem to have changed his resolve: he still wants to be a knight, he still wants to forge a sword for himself.

He took it for an insult. "I'm a knight. That sword will be mine own, once it's done." What would a knight be doing working at a smithy?

Harrenhal

Throughout all the books, the only time Gendry wants to be left alone to lead the simple life of a blacksmith is when he is a prisoner in Harrenal. But that doesn't represent his personality and his wishes for the future because Harrenal's all point is that it's doom and gloom and reduces even the proudest of wolves to a gray mouse that can't do anything but scrub the floors.

Dunk

I should add that Gendry was born in the capitol, so it is not at all improbable that he grew up hearing the stories of Dunk from Flea Bottom who became Ser Duncan the Tall, and that these could be at the origin of this desire for more.

In the end Gendry is more ambitious than he's given credit for.

When Arya saw the horns she knew it was Gendry

And if Arya isn't fully Arya without her sword, Gendry isn't fully Gendry without his horns. Looking for the quotes on A Search of Ice and Fire I realized that most of the time the helmet is mentioned it's called just 'horned' and not 'bull', coincidence? I don't think so :)

[vai3-writes]

matchup exchange:)

• fandom: jjk

• you can call me blair

• i'm a gemini, intp!

• i'd like for my match to be a guy

• ideal first date: i have absolutely no idea! i'm willing to go with anything as long as it's not too crazy lol if i were the one to offer a date, i'd probably just offer a walk + visiting some caffe. i'd definitely bring a lil present for my date as well

• personality: i'm definitely very loyal and friendly. i'm that funny person in the friend group (i swear i'm not the only one who thinks so 😭), my social battery dies pretty quickly though. it takes me veryyy long to fall for someone and i prefer to take things slow ykyk. i'm that type of person who texts first, and i love to send memes and cat reels lol. i make jokes all the time, sometimes they're a bit dark tho. i'm usually quite sarcastic. it's very easy to make me cry, and i usually forgive people way too fast after they hurt me. i'm very emotional in general. i'm a professional yapper, but i'm also a good listener, and i love to memorize little details about someone and surpise them later with it, for example when someone mentions they like something, the very next day i'll buy them that thing. i'm probably a bit too jealous. i can't stay in one place for too long, i get bored fast. i'm only really serious when i'm upset, or when the situation requires it. i find it quite hard to go out of my comfort zone at times, but i'm working on it. i love to tease people, and i love when they tease me back. i'm an overthinker and i often doubt myself. i have a habit of washing my hands like a thousand times a day, i also have to check a few times if i still have my phone in my bag, or if i locked the door 😪 i'm also very good with managing money lol

• love language: words of affirmation & acts of service (receiving); acts of service & gift giving (giving)

• likes: animals (i have two cats and a dog), books, food that's especially sweet, deep conversations, plushies, jokes that barely anyone finds funny, sleeping, coffee

• dislikes: parties, dirty things/places, bugs, crowded places, summer and hot temperatures in general, horror movies, loud noises (and people), snakes, darkness, heights, people who don't respect boundaries

• hobbies: i spend most of my day listening to music, and i mostly listen to rock. i love reading books, my favourite genre is fantasy! 90% of my books are fantasy, the rest of them being agatha christie's works. i like baking and i'd say i'm pretty good at it, but at the same time i'm a terrible cook 💀 i'll bake a perfect cake, but i can't even cook pasta properly

• perfect partner: probably just someone who will make me feel wanted and heard, i also like people who are caring and protective, i don't mind being with someone who has completely different interests than me, as long as they accept what i like, and I'll obviously do the same. love people who will tease me back and who i can joke around with

• appearance: i'm tall (abt 175cm), i have dark hair which i tend to dye a lot tho. i often cut them too. i have green eyes and round face, i look younger than i am. i have 6 piercings (all in ears tho:<) and one tattoo for now but i definitely want more. i mostly wear dark clothes

i hope it's okay, take your time!! thank you for doing an exchange with me!:*

Heyyy !! Your matchup is complete @isadollie!<3

barely proofread and awful punctuation, I apologize for any mistakes.

word count - 1k

possible tw - overthinking(?)

And it's...

Okkotsu Yūta !!

Firstly, your astrological compatibility sticks out to me a lot. As a Gemini & Pisces duo, you are one of the most flexible and compatible signs, which equates you two to be a very harmonic pair!

You are the antithesis of the 'opposites attract' trope.

You're fiercely loyal and attentive to your friends, remembering even small details, and both of you are talkers and listeners simultaneously. I imagine Yuta to be someone who rambles to his close friends but also just listens a lot, you being the same shows the balance between the two of you.

It wouldn't take Yuta too long to get close to you, as he would sense your loyalty and your jokes would warm him up even faster. I can imagine you sticking together during any social gatherings you're attending. Things would go slower between you, flowing more naturally. You'd stay friends for quite a while, as I imagine Yuta still being a bit unsure after Rika. After a while, you'd most likely start growing even closer, and teasing from Panda would increase.

"I fell first, but he fell harder" - Is something that applies to Yuta, he's gentle by nature, but extremely protective of his friends (JJK 0 movie, Geto scene.), He would realize that he cares for you more than a friend after someone hurts you, and you forgive them extremely quickly. After berating you with questions about who it was, he gives said person a little talk, if you catch my drift.

Yuta absolutely cherishes every little thing you ever got him, even if he feels a little guilty about you spending money on him. Gets you little things in return, if you admire something a little too long when you go out, he buys it for you. Ultimately Yuta falls back to his main love languages - acts of service, and quality time. He doesn't enjoy fancy restaurants. He would go if you asked him to, but ultimately, for your first date, he invites you to a café that you were talking about recently.

He loves it, when you text him first, it reassures him that your relationship isn't one-sided, and he reacts to every. single. cat video. you send him, religiously.

Yuta would adore your animals, they love him too, and constantly brings them treats when he comes over. I believe Yuta prefers salty or umami-flavored food over sweet treats. Therefore, whenever he receives any complimentary biscuits or sweets, he tucks them into his pocket and offers them to you the next time he sees you. Hunts down new cafes and boba shops to explore, and learns your boba and coffee orders by heart.

He'll also buy you plushies, heard Maki talk about jelly cats once, and gets you two cats, one grey and one black.

I imagine you having pretty similar dislikes, Yuta dislikes parties, they stress him out and he hates strangers getting into his personal space, Yuta is very attentive and makes sure to learn your dislikes and avoid them as much as possible, he doesn't like seeing anyone close too him uncomfortable or uneasy.

I don't imagine Yuta as a huge fantasy reader, or bookworm in general. He likes hearing you rant about your favorite books tho, and loves it when you sit him down and re-tell the story. Yuta feels very content and happy in tranquil moments like that.

I can't see Yuta as a top-tier cook, but he can definitely cook a few simple dishes. He might tease you about your cooking skills a bit, gobbles down any of your baking tho, and finds them extra tasty since the love of his life made them.

Yuta meets your preferences and requirements too. There's no need to elaborate further on most parts, but one thing I can add is that he may initially be a bit startled by your jokes. He might be unsure how to respond at first, but as time goes on, he warms up to the banter and starts initiating it himself. Yuta is a very respectful and considerate man, he would put you in front of himself and do most to protect you.

Yuta couldn't care less about looks, but he's kind of fascinated by your piercings and likes pretty much everything you do to your hair.

An issue you could run into would be your partnered overthinking. I can imagine Yuta being unsure of everything he's doing sometimes, but being too scared to speak out and talk about it, ending up distancing himself from you, which in turn could make you overthink. Which can start a spiral until one of you decides to actively seek out the other and talk about said problem. You both learn that you need more reassurance from one another that day.

headcanons

-

Going to taste test a brand-new soufflé pancake cafe! Him taking cute candid photos of you and the food, "Maybe you'd like to post them". Doesn't let you pay when you go out either, "You spoil me with your gifts, love"

-

"You do realize that you can't survive on cup noodles right?", he asks you walking into your room. "I'm making you some fresh food.". 25 minutes later you've got some steaming hot katsudon in front of you.

-

"Love, do you need any help with the back? I don't think you're getting everything" Yuta says, as he walks into the bathroom to you dyeing your hair. "Yes, pleasee, I don't want it to end up patchy." - "Alright, give me your brush/gloves please. *color* this time? It suits you."

-

"Yuta! Where are you?", you've been searching for Yuta for the last 5 minutes. That is until you hear purring from your bedroom. As you walk in you see Yuta laying on the edge of the bed, two cats sitting on top of him, and a dog right by his side.

"I think they like me" - he says, with a lazy smile on his face.

-

divider by @muruffin<3

Hope you enjoy it, and I apologize for any mistakes. Honestly, I first considered matching you with Geto but I think Yuta fits more

Idk how many kg of watermelon I have consumed in the past 6 weeks - frankly I don't want to know

[darkpoisonouslove]

Trivia Tuesday

Who says Trivia Tuesday is only for written works?

I have been putting this off for 3 months but I wanted to share this compilation of my favorite moments from my Daylight video for Griffin x Valtor and do some commentary on them, talk about the process behind this video.

*I chose to overlay the song from the beginning instead of making you listen to the different segments that go with the footage smashed together in a cacophony. Here's the full video if you want to reference which parts of the song correspond to the respective segments.

There is no reason for me to bring this up other than that in the og video the line "you and I drink the poison from the same vine" just so happens to play while this is going on. I swear that was not on purpose. I chose the vine attack against Valtor because of the dark green glow around the stem which looks like Griffin's magic in order to make this more convincing... and then I realized that this moment happened right as that lyric was playing.

This whole segment starting from Griffin and Faragonda and then switching to Valtor in his lonely tower before Griffin contacts him because she wants to talk to him too and can't tear herself away is just so wistful and nostalgic and the music (especially in the actual video) only adds to that vibe. They're both brooding - out of the daylight - because they despise their obsession with each other but still can't help it.

I especially love that he proceeds to break into Alfea to talk to her and she blasts him with a vortex of books because she sensed his presence (I just didn't include that part in this compilation because then I'd have to post the entire video). It is a headcanon that I've had for a while that because they were partners for so long and the Dragon Fire is the most powerful magic which created the whole universe, Griffin has learned to home in on his magical signature because she can distinguish it from anyone else's.

-- Join me. -- A horrible idea.

I find this moment utterly hilarious. I don't really have anything else to say about it but I guess I can share the process of picking the dialogue for the video. Valtor's lines were easier to pick because they mostly come from a couple of scenes but I had to scour the entire season 1 (aka every scene with Griffin) to figure out which of Griffin's lines can be useful and then I had to piece together actual conversations from them, the one above being my magnum opus.

I simply enjoy the way I made these two different scenes fit together into one to make it look like his whole "teleporting in your chair" shtick happens right in front of Griffin's and the viewer's eyes. This is why I love video editing!

This one! Oh, this was a legendary moment for me! A whole new step in my video making career. I feel like I unlocked a whole new part of my brain when I realized that I could use the mirror effect to showcase Griffin's spell creating her clone. I have never used the mirror effect before and finding such great application for it that adds to the story (because I wasn't sure my idea with the spell was coming through before I came up with this) was certainly a highlight of my video making process.

Kind of on the other end of the spectrum this is here because I wanted to explain that the vortex is the portal that Griffin opens to sneak back to her office and catch Valtor off guard while he's watching her clone. I wasn't sure all of that was clear but I was running out of ideas, mental energy and remaining seconds from the song so I kind of had to speedrun that if I wanted to fit everything in the video.

I thought Valtor deserved a taste of his own medicine (aka payback for the illusion spell he used on Griffin, Faragonda and Saladin at Light Rock lake). Is this scenario realistic? Mayhaps not. But! Griffin used to study under Lysslis with him so she could have picked up some very convincing illusion magic too!

I'm thinking that perhaps I would have been able to provide more insight into the video and my thoughts on it if I had written this back in January when I could still remember the process of making this but it is what it is. I got to talk about it again and rediscover some of the joys that this particular video brought to me which was fun! And now this post works as a throwback to refresh all our memory on my latest efforts in video making before we see where I go from here.

[jafndaegur]

Love like You

Mystic Messenger

Jumin Han x Reader

Calling Jumin feels awkward. You've only been in the messenger for two days and hardly know anyone. But the nagging feeling of the conversation between Seven and Jumin leaves a horrible pit in your stomach.

"I heard Jumin is gay..." Seven had said.

If you said the statement hadn't piqued your interest, you'd be lying. After all, no one believed you when you said you weren't a girl—just because Seven had disclaimed it and said you looked like a girl. Your voice being so high doesn't help the case, but a book cover can be very different from the actual story it holds.

I'm very open-minded. The statement you make was hurried and quick, you had wanted to make sure you had mention something in case Jumin is...well, is like you. Yet somehow that simple text of yours was turned on itself and made into another joke.

"Isn't it rather late to be calling?" Jumin's voice suddenly and tersely cuts through the line.

You want to make it right.

"Jumin." Your voice is much more serious than you intended.

On the other end, you can hear him sit up a little more, readjusting and assessing. "We just spoke in the messenger. Is everything alright?"

"No." You say evenly, taking a deep breath. Knowing with the corporate heir, the best way to approach this would be calmly and logically. "At least I don't believe so."

"I'm sorry, " he says it so genuinely, that you wish you'd clarified why things weren't okay first. "While I'm not equipped to handle formal complaints in regards to the RFA, I will be sure to pass on any concerns to V."

"No, I wanted to apologize. To you."

"To me? As far as I know, you've made no transgressions."

"For what happened in the chatroom, I wanted to apologize to you." You say earnestly.

The sigh he makes is less understanding and more annoyed. "It's a ridiculous prank that Luciel and the others enjoy prolonging. The fact that you too have jumped on such a joke is not surprising—"

"I meant what I said!" You interject quickly, hoping you catch him before he decides to hang up. "Really and truly. Such affairs to gossip like that, they're private and personal. And to make light of it is a slight on that trust of privacy. But...I genuinely meant what I said."

He says nothing, his breath a soft and steady pattern for you to listen to. You close your eyes and wonder what he looks like in that moment. Is he disgusted? Intrigued? Or entirely disinterested altogether?

"It is no one's business in regards to who you love," you say softly. "And who, whether it's a man, a woman...or just a person making their way—it shouldn't matter. If you love them and they love you in return, and you're willing to treat each other as equals as you work through life together...then what does it matter?"

"You surprise me by the hour," Jumin finally says. It is a gentle and murmured comment. "I admit I've never given it much thought. But I like how straight-forward you've made it."

"So you're not—?"

"It's never been a forefront concern of mine, but I suppose I don't have a preference either way."

You smile to yourself.

"Perhaps, at the end of the day, I would love a person making their way, doing their best." You swear there is something knowing in his voice and you can't help but wonder...

"Jumin, I—"

And once again he cuts you short. "I'd like to disclaim, I do not wish for you to feel like you must share your own experience as I've shared mine...if there's something you're not inclined to disclose yet, don't feel like you must."

Your heart beats a bit against your ribcage. It's a lovely and anticipant flutter. "In my defense, I don't think I've been subtle."

"Oh?" He asks, bemusement seeping through the tone.

"I did, after all, come distinctly forward and say I wasn't a girl," you laugh.

At Jumin's hesitation, you can practically hear the gears turning in his head. "...are you a man?"

"Perhaps..." You smile. "Perhaps I'm just an ordinary person making my way and doing my best."

He chuckles, it is low and warm. You can't help the feeling of your heart and chest warming, like the slow steep of liquor once you've taken a drink.

"Well said," Jumin murmurs.