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Skyline Manor by GleefullyCaptainSwan Chapter 5/13

Read on AO3: | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

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Chapter 5: We have an Accord

“What do you mean you lost him?” Sir Henry watched from his hiding spot behind a stone column as his uncle spoke with the Captain who had burst into his room.

“I saw him on the staircase during the dance, I went after him, and he vanished from sight.”

“Dammit.” The King cursed. “The good news is that the diamond is still in the place it was left. So, he was unable to take what he came for.”

“If he was unable to claim his prize, he will return. He will need shelter in town, my men and I will remain in port, seek information at the tavern. He may have won this round, but I do not intend to lose the game.” The Captain said confidently.

“See to it that you don’t. We can’t afford any distractions.”

“Was your sister able to choose a husband tonight?”

He groaned. “She did not. I do not understand the hesitancy of women. The Duke would make a fine husband, yet she continues to search the realm for something that she may never find.”

“What is it that eludes the Princess?” He asked.

“What every woman wants of course, true love.”

“And she has not found this with your friend the Duke?” He questioned with a laugh.

“I had thought she might, his Grace is a good man, he would make an excellent husband but my sister…”

“What do you speak of your sister?” The men turned toward the approaching voice, the Captain’s heart stopping as the blonde woman came into view. “It is unkind to talk about a woman behind her back.” Killian felt his mouth standing agape and tried to will it to close. The woman from his dance earlier was Princess Emma?

“I was simply saying that my sister was the star of the ball this evening.” The King said with a knowing glance to the other man.

“You have not yet introduced me to your guest.” She mused, turning toward him, and offering him her hand. Killian took it gently, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss against her knuckles.

“Captain Killian Jones.” He announced, though he knew quite well that she was aware of his name as he had given it to her earlier.

“Captain Jones.” She touched the tip of her finger to her chin. “No, I don’t believe I’ve heard of you.” She said without a care in the world.

Killian smirked as she stepped away from him, a slight grin pressed to her mouth. “I must take my leave.” He said suddenly. “I have urgent business to attend to.” The King returned his nod. “It was a pleasure to meet you Princess Emma.” He bowed in her direction. “Until we meet again.”

He slipped from the room, taking one last glance over his shoulder at the blonde woman that had his heart in his throat.

“Sister, tell me you’ve interrupted me to announce your decision to marry the Duke.”

“I have made a decision.” She paused. “I have decided that I will not marry the Duke.” She announced without fanfare.

“Sister.” He chided. “Why not? Did he not please you tonight?”

“He was pleasant, I suppose, but I met many men tonight. Perhaps one of them is…”

“Not the true love thing again! Emma, I told you, it is time that Henry has a man in his life.”

“He has many men in his life. You, William…”

“His jester does not count as a man in his life.”

“He most certainly does. He’s the best friend Henry has ever had.”

The King sat down unceremoniously on his throne. “Sister, I want to ensure you are taken care of. This means you must marry.”

She sighed. “I will. I promise.” She spun around in her dress. “There was a man tonight that I danced with…” She bit her lip.

“A man, what man?”

“A man.” She restated. “He was handsome, and charming, and very intriguing.”

“Well, you must decide soon, or else I’m going to accept the Duke’s offer.”

Princess Emma rolled her eyes, excusing herself from the room. There was no way she was going to marry the Duke, not when there was a chance for adventure and intrigue in figuring out who Captain Killian Jones was and what his business was in her realm.

Henry was pleased with the way the party had turned out. Even though his mother spent most of her evening talking to Graham, he couldn’t ignore the way that Killian’s eyes seemed to find her from across the room after returning from the basement. His mother had even lifted the ban on his visits with their neighbor and Henry found himself splitting his time between building Legos with Will and stopping in to provide a treat to Smee after dinner.

However, when he knocked this evening, he was met by another man at the door. “Evening, lad. If you’re selling something, I don’t live here.”

Henry narrowed his eyes and stepped forward. “Who are you? You aren’t Killian?”

The man appeared surprised to hear Killian’s name. “I’m Liam, who might you be?”

“I’m Henry, Killian’s friend.”

“Are you now?” He said with a laugh. “Well in that case, please do come in.” The man stepped away from the door and Henry bounded into the apartment. “Brother, you have a friend here to see you.”

Henry turned toward the man. “You’re Killian’s big brother. Wow, it’s great to meet you.”

“You seem to know about me, and yet I know nothing about you.” He seemed to question his brother as he entered the room.

“Henry, here to see Smee?” Killian interrupted. “Liam, this is my neighbor, Henry.”

Henry held the treat up high for the dog, rewarding him when he sat as he was supposed to. “Are you a Captain too?”

“Liam’s in the Navy. He’s a Lieutenant onboard the USS Delaware, it’s a submarine.”

Henry’s eyes grew wide. “You mean you go under the water?”

“Aye, you never know what’s lurking beneath.” Liam responded with an eerie grin.

“That’s really cool. Did you ever go in a submarine?” He turned toward Killian.

“I prefer to Captain my ship above the water.”

“So, Henry, do you live next door with your mom and dad?” Liam asked.

“I live with my mom; my dad lives across town.”

The man glanced at his brother. “Is that so?”

“Speaking of your mom, isn’t it your dinner time kid?” Killian scolded. “I don’t want her coming over here yelling at me again.” He laughed.

“We’re having tacos tonight.” He stood up and patted the dog on the head. “It was nice meeting you, Liam. See you tomorrow, Killian.”

“Talk to you later, kid.”

~*~

Killian closed the door behind Henry and turned to see his brother staring at him with a smirk on his face. “What?”

“So, you’re hanging out with a ten-year-old now?”

“He’s eleven, and he’s a nice kid.”

“Are you sleeping with his mom?”

“God, Liam, of course not.” He exclaimed. “Why do you accuse me of sleeping with every woman I meet?”

“Don’t you?” He laughed.

“No.” He argued, walking back into the kitchen to finish dinner.

“Are you still seeing Belle?”

“She’s around, yes.” He knew where this conversation was leading.

“Interesting, it’s been what, six months? That’s some sort of record for you.”

Killian groaned. “I know where you’re going with this. She’s not my girlfriend. I meant what I said that night, I’m not interested in a relationship.”

“Interested or not, you’re already in one. So, if you don’t actually want to be with this woman, you need to end things before she gets hurt.”

“No one is getting hurt; we’re just having a little fun. That’s all.”

“Suit yourself, brother. But one of these days, you’re going to have to break that promise or you’re going to end up alone.”

~*~

“And he works underwater all day!” Henry exclaimed excitedly.

“How chu u wrk under watur?” Will spat, his mouth full of food.

“Would you not speak with your mouth full! How old are you?” Emma scolded the man.

“Sorry, Ems, how does he work under water?”

Henry laughed, reaching across the table to grab a slice of bread. “He’s a Lieutenant on a submarine. Isn’t that cool?”

“That’s very cool. I had no idea he had a brother.”

“I did, he told me about him before. He lives in Maine, where Killian used to live before he had to move.”

Emma chuckled, sharing a glance with Will. “He told you all of that.”

“He tells me loads of things when we hang out. The other day, he was doing his laundry and singing. He said it’s a sailor thing to sing when you’re sad or melon collies.” He scrunched up his nose as he said the word.

“Melancholy.” Emma corrected.

“You guys should invite him to your happy hour tomorrow night. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends around here, except for Belle, of course.” He paused then sat up straighter. “Or me.”

“That’s a bloody good idea, kid. The more the merrier.”

“What did I tell you about using that word around Henry.” Emma whispered.

“His eleven not six! Would you rather I used the F word?” Will groaned.

“Fruit?” Henry responded, looking at her with a confused glance.

“No.” Emma said shortly.

“Oh, that word.” Henry laughed. “I don’t think you should use that word. My friend Roland said it in class the other day and our teacher sent him to the office, he didn’t come back to class for an hour.”

Emma watched the boys on the other side of the table making jokes and laughing throughout dinner, it made her heart settle seeing Henry smiling. She had hoped that he would get past his initial disappointment from his father bailing on him for a month so he could go chase some ass in Barbados.

While she had been wary of him disturbing and bothering the neighbor, her son seemed quite taken with the man. Ever since the barbeque Henry had lost himself in his writing, spending all of his time jotting down notes in the notebook that he thought he was hiding from her.

She would never read any of it without his permission, but her teacher had told her that he was a talented writer with a very creative mind, so she tried to give him his space to allow his imagination to grow.

As long as he was happy, Emma was content to give him the wings he needed to fly.

“So, do you want me to invite Jones, or would you prefer to drop by yourself.” Will wiggled his eyebrows at her and she slapped him on the shoulder.

“What’s are you trying to say?”

“Just saying, he’s an attractive man, a fact that hasn’t escaped your attention.”

“I have Graham, I don’t need an attractive man.” She bit her lip. “I’m not saying that Graham isn’t attractive. He is. Very. God why do you always get me so worked up?”

“That’s what I thought.” He stepped into the hall and headed to his door. “I’ll let you invite him. Would hate for you to miss a chance to stare into those baby blue eyes.”

“I hate you.” He turned around and gestured toward her shirt.

“Maybe open a button or two, ya sexy git.”

Emma extended her middle finger toward her friend as he closed the door in her face. Turning she looked down the hall and exhaled loudly. Before she could head toward his door, it opened and a man stepped into the hall, turning right toward her.

He was tall with lighter hair than Killian’s, and he didn’t carry that same devil-may-care attitude that her neighbor seemed to have at all times. Emma cursed under her breath as he approached, and she stood rooted in her place like a statue.

“Evening.” He said with a smile.

“Hello, you must be Liam. My son hasn’t stopped talking about the man who works under the water since he got home.”

The man’s grin grew wide on his face. “Henry, right?”

“That’s him, about this high…” She held her hand up in front of her. “Loads of questions.”

He laughed. “He is very inquisitive.”

“I’m Emma.” She held out her hand and he took it with a firm handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you Emma. Glad to see my little brother has some friendly faces around him.”

“Well, we are one big happy family here at Skyline Apartments.” She internally cursed herself for sounding like a complete idiot.

“It was very nice to meet you, Emma. I’m sure we’ll see each other again.” He raised his eyebrow and then nodded at her as he headed to the elevator.

Emma waited until the elevator doors closed before turning down the hall toward Killian’s door. Standing in front of it, she brushed her fingers through her hair, stopping at the collar of her shirt. Without thinking she undid the top button, pushing her chest out.

What the hell was she doing? She didn’t come here to flirt with the man, she had a boyfriend!

For the hell of it she unbuttoned the second button, shaking her head in disbelieve at herself and knocked on the door.

The door opened quickly, “Did you forget something?” He paused, his eyes trailing from her face down her body before snapping back up to meet her eyes. “Uh sorry, Swan. Henry’s not here.”

“No, yes, I mean, I know.” She said with a slight fluster. “I’m here to ask if you wanted to go to a bar. Tomorrow.” The smirk on his face started to grow. “I mean for happy hour, with my friends, not like you and me or a date or anything like that because I have a Grant…Graham.” The words spilled out of her mouth as she reached up to grab a lock of her hair, spinning it between her fingers.

“Are you asking me out, Swan?” He teased.

“To happy hour, Jones. You can bring Brittany.”

“Belle.” He stated with an arrogant chuckle.

“Sure, bring her too. 7pm, Howl at the Moon on High Street.” Turning quickly, she walked away, she was sure her face was a special color of red. As she got to her door, she turned the handle but sadly realized the door was locked. She glanced back toward Killian’s apartment and saw him leaning against his door watching her in amusement.

“Door’s locked.” She said absentmindedly, knocking on the door. When Henry didn’t answer she turned and knocked on Will’s door. “Just gonna check on Will.” She hollered toward Killian who was currently staring at her with apparent glee. The door opened and Will looked at her with a grin.

“Back so soon? My God did you take off the whole shirt.” Emma shoved him backward into the apartment and slammed the door shut behind her, leaning against the door and banging her head backwards. “So…”

“Don’t say anything.” She warned with her finger in his face.

~*~

Killian climbed the plank of the Jolly Roger, exhausted and feeling slightly defeated by this Baelfire man. As soon as he approached the ladder, he heard a noise behind him. Turning he saw his first mate standing behind him.

“You left early.”

“I tried to find you. What happened tonight?”

Killian stared at his boots. “He was there. I saw him. And lost him.” He growled.

“Did he get the diamond?”

“No. But he won’t leave without it.”

“So, we’re staying.”

“Aye, I will not let this Swan Thief best me. Tomorrow I will go into town and inquire about this Baelfire man.” He turned toward his quarters. “Get some sleep, French. Tomorrow we play a new game.”

“Aye Captain.”

He closed his cabin door with a thud, kicking the ladder at the end of his bunk. He had not been beat in a long time. Yet this man got away from him. He wouldn’t leave until he had this Baelfire in irons.

He heard a creak outside his door and reached for his cutlass. Blowing out the candle at his desk, he creeped toward his door, hiding in the shadows.

The door squeaked as it slowly slid against the wooden planks, a dark figure stepped into the room, peering into the expanse of his cabin. Killian stepped forward, wrapping an arm around the neck of the intruder, and putting his blade to their neck. “It’s bad form to enter a man’s room uninvited.”

“Don’t hurt me.” The woman squealed and Killian dropped his resolve for a second, long enough for the lass to turn on her heels, a dagger sticking into his side.

“Well played, love.” He growled, whipping his arm forward and grabbing the dagger from her hand, spinning her in his arms until he had her pinned to his desk. Reaching up he grabbed the hood from her cloak and yanked it from her head. The moonlight shone on her face, a smirk growing across his lips. “You’re a long way from the castle, Princess.”

“I was just curious.” She said softly.

“Curiosity is dangerous for someone of your stature.” He removed the blade, releasing her from his grasp. “Does your brother know you strayed from the castle?”

“My brother spends far too much time worrying about my affairs.” She complained.

“How can I be of service, M’lady?” He said with a mocking bow.

“What is your business with the King?” She asked.

“I told you earlier, it’s confidential.” He pulled the bottle from his cabinet, pouring a glass of rum for himself and his curious companion. Pushing the glass toward her, he took a swig of the warm liquid. Watching as she eyed the glass, her fingertips sliding around the tip.

“Is it in regard to the Duke?” She mused, taking the glass in her hand, and smelling the liquid it held inside.

“I’m as uninterested in the affairs of the Duke as it appears the lady is.” He narrowed his eyes, watching her put the glass to her lips. His brow raised as she hesitated with the drink. Sensing this, she tilted the glass, swallowing the liquid inside. As soon as it reached her throat she began sputtering and coughing. The Captain laughed, taking the glass from her hands.

Putting her hand over her mouth, she coughed once more, then lifted her chin. “And the King was not trying to convince you to offer your own hand?”

Killian chuckled. “I have no need for a wife?”

“He’s hired you for something.” She said angrily. “I want to know what it is.”

“Are you quite certain you can handle it?”

“I’m not a child.”

“No, you most certainly are not.” He said, stepping closer to her, his hand reaching out to run his fingers through her golden locks. Her breath hitched in her throat, but she didn’t move from her spot. “Baelfire.” He whispered.

“What did you say?” She gasped.

“Your brother believes a man named Baelfire to be the notorious Swan Thief. He asked me to stop him from stealing the jewel of Arendelle. A diamond I believe.” He left out the part about knowing the man’s connection to the Princess.

She blinked. “It can’t be.” She stepped away from him. “He’s not been seen in years.”

“I can assure you; I saw him with my own eyes tonight. At the castle.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Henry.” She turned toward the door. “I have to get back to the castle.”

Reaching forward he grabbed her by the arm. “Princess.” She turned toward him, a frantic look in her eyes. “This man terrifies you?”

“He can’t get near Henry.”

“I will find this Baelfire, love. I won’t let him near you or your boy.” He said earnestly. She didn’t flinch at his words, but her expression softened.

“Meet me tomorrow morning, behind the Thirsty Lion.” She turned to leave before spinning back to him. “But say nothing of this to the King.”

“We have an accord, Princess Emma.”

“Call me Swan.” She smiled, pulling the hair clip from her tresses, and pressing it into his hand and scurrying up the ladder as she retreated from his sight.

“Swan.” He whispered into the shadows, holding his palm up to the moonlight, the silver swan hairpiece glistening in its glow.

From the shadows of the deck, a figure watched the woman retreat from the Jolly Roger. Slipping into the darkness, he covered himself with a large canvas tarp. He was unsure what business his mother had with the Captain, or if any of this had to do with the man that was being hunted outside the castle, but Henry was determined to find out.

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#130-121)

#130: Franco Battiato and Alice -- I Treni di Tozeur (Italy 1984)

“In una vecchia miniera, distese di sale E un ricordo di me, come un incantesimo”

“In an old empty mine, the salt extends And I seem to remember it, like a dream”

Franco Battiato was one of Italy's greatest songwriters, known for his complex songs in a mix of genres. Unfortunately, I haven't listened to most of his discography, but I do know of "Per Elisa", the song he wrote for Alice which won Sanremo 1981 (coincidentially, the first year Italy withdrew from Eurovision, welp). It's thoughtful and its incorporation of Fur Elise is well-done with its synthesizers.

In comparison, I treni di Tozeur is not a song readily caught by first listening, and that’s why it’s not my favorite of its year. This doesn’t mean it’s not a good song, though—it's sounds eerily futuristic even for the synth-based 1980s, and actually timeless. The lyrics seem ambivalent, but I think there’s some philosophical bent towards them. One of the commentaries talk about the train to Tozeur being built in the early twentieth century to satisfy the whims of the King of Tunisia, at a huge cost. Maybe there's some social commentary sneaking in there.

The performance was good, but it seems like Alice had a bit more control of her voice. She did so with style, and I actually liked her outfit.

In addition, the opera singers at the end were the cherry of the cake. A mix of classical and modern, indeed, which earned itself classic status.

Personal ranking: 2nd/19 Actual ranking: =5th/19 (with Belgium) in Luxembourg

#129: Linda Martin -- Terminal 3 (Ireland 1984)

“Staring into a space, searching through every face He's been away too long now, he must have changed”

I feel like there are two types of people in terms of 1984--those who have Alice and Batiatto (#130) as their favorite, and those who have Linda Martin as theirs. As shown by how close they are on my list, I love both, but Linda Martin just eeks it out.

The storytelling aspect of the song is very strong, as Linda waits for her lover to come from an international flight. Ironically, it can't be from Dublin, as no Irish airport has a third terminal. Maybe it's from London's she's waiting for her love? Or the flight is coming to the United States, rather than from it? Mysteries indeed.

(Now my life goal is to be at Terminal 3 at 10:30; one of David Tao's most famous songs is 飞机场的10:30--Airport at 10:30, which deals with the same topic)

The New Wave instrumentation and orchestration add up to the drama too--the brass grabs me from the first beats, and the strings and rock influences remain as the song goes on. It's kind of hard to believe Johnny Logan was behind this, especially considering he's better known for his ballads. If she had to win one Eurovision, Terminal 3 had to be the one.

Personal ranking: 1st/19 Actual ranking: 2nd/19 in Luxembourg

#128: Halla Margrét - Hægt og hljótt (Iceland 1987)

"Kvöldið hefur flogið alltof fljótt Fyrir utan gluggann komin nótt Kertin er’ að brenna upp Glösin orðin miklu meir’en tóm"

"The evening has fled all too fast Outside the window night has come The candles are burning low The glasses have become much more than empty"

As their debut entry was fun and "in-your"face", Iceland’s second entry has an afterparty feeling, but I've heard some comparisons to being a Christmas song. It doesn't sound like it to me, but it's still really serene and beautiful, as if the snow was falling outside (not unlike #213 on this list).

The lyrics are quite gentle and pretty, painting a dainty picture. However, they also contain enough melancholy to add a tinge of darkness to the scene, which is why I don't think it would work as a Christmas song. Halla’s vocals are very pure, and adds enough delicacy to the composition. The piano and orchestration also helps.

What stands out more is the funny notes related to Hægt og hljótt--one refers to the last line of their chorus, which is bufflaxed to "anus in the air" in English, another mentions how Halla's dress is see-through against the white piano, almost as if she was a ghost. Very strange, especially the latter as the lyrics focuses on the upcoming dawn. Or it would make a good fan-fiction, come to think of it.

Personal ranking: 3rd/22 Actual ranking: 16th/22 in Brussels

#127: Raphael -- Yo soy aquél (Spain 1966)

“Yo soy aquél, Que por tenerte da la vida, Yo soy aquél, Que estando lejos, no te olvida,

“I'm that one, Who gives his life to have you I'm that one Who's far away and doesn't forget you”

When I first did this sorter, Yo soy aquel ended up close to being in my top 50. It was a surprise, because despite being one of my favorite songs from Spain, I didn't think about as much in terms of great songs, even though it's a beautiful song.

The opening bars to this song are filled with drama, which gives way to Raphael’s crooning for the one he loves. The lyrics are a bit repetitive, sure, but they still work in how Raphael wants his love to know he will be there. I particularly love the way the song builds, which, combined with his singing, creates a brooding atmosphere. The explosion in the chorus is really effective, which the orchestra compliments and actually amplifies. You could actually feel his passion thanks to those strings.

1966 was an incredible year (especially for a black-and-white contest), and if I could switch one of Spain's wins, I would drop La La La for this in one second (even though there's another song from this year on my top 250). Massiel doesn't hold a candle to Raphael.

Personal ranking: 2nd/18 Actual ranking: =7th/18 (with Yugoslavia) in Luxembourg

#126: Liam Reilly -- Somewhere in Europe (Ireland 1990)

“We should be together, and maybe we just might If you could only meet me somewhere in Europe tonight”

For my European friends, I wish for this lyric to come true! I am sadly ill-traveled, haha.

When I started to consider this top 250, I thought "Somewhere in Europe" would be song #250, because it was pleasant and pretty, but wouldn't trouble the rest of the list. When I was re-arranging the list, this was one of the songs which got a great boost, and now it sits just outside of the top half of this list!

As for this song, I like it a lot. It not only a pretty little ditty, but it also takes the theme of unity and takes one on an adventure. Because of the piano-based instrumental, I keep thinking that it's like a Billy Joel song, as it's quite homebrewed. While I don’t think this would’ve made a better winner than Insieme (or White and Black Blues, for that matter--France winning would bring some new energy to the contest), Liam Reilly proved he was a talented songwriter, and it shines with the orchestration too.

As a result, I keep thinking that it would be a good New Year's Eve song--it's nostalgic yet calming, and seeks out a better future. Unfortunately, Liam Reilly died on New Year's Day this year, which makes it a bit sadder. RIP.

Personal ranking: 8th/22 Actual ranking: =2nd/22 (with France) in Zagreb

#125: Rita -- Shara Bachravot (Israel 1990)

לבוקר הזה יש טעם של חופש זר כמו של מוות או ברכה כי הלכתי ממך”

“This morning, Has the taste of strange freedom Like of death or a blessing Because I went away from you”

(I actually heard of Rita before stumbling on her Eurovision entry--one song I really like is Idan Raichel's Mechake (Waiting), and I searched the web. One of the results was Rita's version of his composition, which compared to Raichel's, is a bit more produced. Still great!)

1990 focuses on freedom in many ways, especially because of the Berlin Wall falling and the end of communism. Shara Barkhovot also talks about freedom, but does so in another way.

It’s basically a tale of a relationship ending, with a woman leaving her partner in the morning. It’s frequently interpreted as running away from abuse, and the imagery involved does a good job in conveying that feeling.

It’s dramatic and passionate, with Rita “emoting” the song rather than merely performing it. Unfortunately, it does go off the rails later on, with her vocals losing out at points. I still like how she played with the microphone stand, though!

Personal ranking: 7th/22 Actual ranking: 18th/22 in Zagreb

#124: Helena Paparizou -- My Number One (Greece 2005)

“You're my lover Undercover You're my sacred passion and I have no other.”

Helena Paparizou was one of those artists that I knew that participated in Eurovision, but didn’t listen to her song until much later. I found out about her with the song “Heroes”, which I played a lot when I was younger (about 11-13 years old), and didn’t think about her in the contest, other than she won and she received a wide ovation when she returned to Greece.

My Number One is all kinds of fun, from the ethnic instrumental to the sometimes silly lyrics. I also love the performance featuring Helena playing a human lyre, which is a definite highlight! A fun and energetic bop (the last of a holy trinity of ethno-influenced dance winners during this time), now I’m a happy fan of hers (I really listened to Kati Skoteino a lot since 2018, for example. Plus her Mambo interval the following year is fantastic.)

On whether this or "Die For You" was the better song, it's hard to tell, especially on how close they are on this list. Whereas 2001 was the weaker year and Die for You had to win it, My Number One was in a stronger year and held its own. And yet it's not my favorite...

Personal ranking: 2nd/39 Actual ranking: 1st/24 GF in Kyiv

#123: Vanilla Ninja -- Cool Vibes (Switzerland 2005)

“Don't want you to come so close to me Don't need you to blow my fantasy But I know that you are livin' far beyond those lies I can see the danger rise in your eyes...”

From my last place in 2004 to my favorite in 2005, what a glow up from Switzerland! Though to be honest, I have a hard time determining why this song in particular is my favorite of its year. I did come in knowing that Switzerland was the only one of the original seven to not win in my timeline, so that may have impacted my thinking.

Cool Vibes a dark rock song, with occasionally dramatic lyrics (though then again, emo rock was getting popular during that time), but an intriguing musical atmosphere. Despite 2005 being known as the "ethno-bop year", there were a number of interesting rock songs (e.g. In My Dreams), and this holds up by its sheer seriousness, versus the occasionally silly vibe of those others.

And with that string motif, it does sound like a song that needs an orchestra to realize its full potential. There's a lot of hidden angst throughout the song, and the multiple key changes actually helps here.

Personal ranking: 1st/39 Actual ranking: 8th/24 GF in Kyiv

Final Impressions on Switzerland: Not one of my favorite countries in the contest, unfortunately. I find most of their entries to be quite non-descript, with some of them being very bad. That said, they do have a number of gems on here, and some great ones that just missed out (Moi, tout simplement; Io senza te; She Got Me especially). And with the track they are now, they could actually win in the next few years. Hopefully with a French-language song. :)

#122: Tanja Ribič - Zbudi se (Slovenia 1997)

“Zbudi se, dobri princ Rada bi ti dala vse Svoje sanje in mladost Da ne bom iz pravljice”

“Wake up, good prince I would like to give you all My dreams and my youth Break the spell of the fairy tale”

Sometimes I forget I love this song. As 1997 is one of the strongest years (if not the strongest year song-wise), there are so many good ones one can't remember all of them. Zbudi se a bit dark and fits in very well with the rest of the 1990s with its mythical character (and might be the first Balkan ballad proper), but Tanja does it so well. And she would later be more known for her acting!

When I do listen to it, it just takes me away. It’s a dark fairytale, with beautiful lyrics and an intriguing atmosphere. The narrator longs for her loved one, filled with magical imagery and dreaminess. I also appreciate the transition between the lyrics and the chorus, which can be very hard to do! And of course, the orchestration, including the harp parts in particular, create a fantastic soundscape.

Personal ranking: 8th/25 Actual ranking: 10th/25 in Dublin

#121: Lúcia Moniz - O meu coração não tem cor (Portugal 1996)

“Dança-se o samba, a marrabenta também, Chora-se o fado, rola-se a coladeira.”

“We dance the samba, the marrabenta too, We weep the fado, and roll the coladeira”

Curiously, for a song which was one twelve away from a top-three finish, O meu coração não tem cor seems a bit less known within Portugal. It even didn't get a studio release, and Lucia is better known for being the love interest in Love Actually. And yet it's still a fan-favorite within Eurovision.

The lyrics call out to everyone in the Portuguese diaspora (or the Lusosphere in general), and welcomes them to engage in their cultural traditions. We have fruit and dance and crying and laughter all at once. All kinds of fun, except when the clips grayscale and I keep thinking of those "in memoriam" scenes.

And it managed impress in another way; it came in 18th in the audio-only pre-qualifer which only appeared in 1996. Thanks to the brazen and fun orchestration, along with Lucia's very sweet voice, it was lifted up in the final to a solid sixth place! Very well-deserved.

Personal ranking: 5th/23 Actual ranking: 6th/23 in Oslo

[junker-town]

I rewatched Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS and it was magical

It took nearly six hours and 14 innings, but the Red Sox made it happen. 

My heart sank when my baseball-loving kid asked when we were going to watch a game again. Then I remembered after the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series I bought the full set of games on DVD, including the entire American League Championship Series. Having never actually watched any of the discs, I vaguely remembered stashing them in a box that had somehow made its way from Philly to Boston by way of several Cambridge apartments.

Eureka! I still had them.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

We started with Game 4 of the ALCS against the Yankees because even in a quarantine I wouldn’t bother with the first three games. My kid soon became familiar with Papi, Manny, and the whole gang of Idiots. He promptly proved his Masshole bonafides, yelling, “Come on Millah!” when Kevin Millar came up to bat in the ninth against Mariano Rivera. For the record, neither my wife nor I have a Boston accent and he doesn’t either. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was a proud moment.

My wife, incidentally, couldn’t care less about baseball, but she has fond memories of staying up late with her friends, living and dying with every pitch. When Dave Roberts stole second, she screamed like it was happening in real time.

Game 4 was iconic, of course. The whole sequence belongs in a time capsule. Starting with Millar’s walk to Dave Roberts’ steal through Bill Mueller knocking the great Mariano Rivera off the mound with the game-tying single like he was Charlie Brown in a Peanuts strip. And then, much, much later, Big Papi’s home run. Game 6 was even more famous with the whole bloody sock thing, while Game 7 was just pure cathartic release.

But Game 5 — holy shit, Game 5. I had forgotten how magically insane it was. Over 14 innings and almost six hours, it was like watching a slow-motion nightmare unfold only to emerge in a blissy dream state where unicorns are real and it ain’t over ‘til Big Papi takes a swing.

To set the scene, Game 4 ended after midnight, meaning Game 5 took place literally the same day. Your starters were Mike Mussina and Pedro Martinez, making perhaps his last start in a Boston uniform.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

The Sox took an early 2-0 lead but couldn’t bust out a big inning against Mussina, who settled down and pitched a gem. Martinez was also dealing, but that pitch count was rising higher as we got to the sixth with the Sox leading, 2-1, which is when I started taking notes.

Martinez is getting up near 100 pitches. I forgot that after 100 pitches he turned into Ramiro Mendoza. Thankfully, Joe Buck is here to remind us. Tim McCarver thinks pitch counts are overrated and now I’m yelling at McCarver to shut the fuck up. (For future reference, STFUTM will serve as shorthand.)

Earlier, he told an incredibly random story about Trinidad Hubbard that made absolutely no sense. Hard to believe, but there really was a point when McCarver was an insightful announcer. Happens to all of them, eventually.

Martinez gets Bernie Williams to pop up, but Jorge Posada reaches on a quirky infield single and Ruben Sierra follows with another hit. I’ve seen this movie before. It ends badly. Tony Clark strikes out and now it’s up to Miguel Cairo. Martinez just hit Cairo to load the bases. 2004 me is yelling at Terry “Tito” Francona: “GET HIM OUTTA THERE, FRANCONA.”

Photo by Linda Cataffo/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Tito leaves Martinez in to pitch to Jeter and Buck notes that Jeter hasn’t put his stamp on this series yet. Oh God. The inside-out swing. The slicing line drive landing in right. Three runs are going to score. I’ll go to my grave saying Prime Nomar was better, but it would really help if Captain Intangibles stopped doing stuff like this.

Looked like Cairo may have been out at the plate, but it’s real close. You know what this game doesn’t have? Replay review. There were at least eight plays by my count that would have been subject to replay review and this game would still be playing if that was the case. We got along fine without reviewing every close play and I would like to return to that nebulous state of affairs when the world stops burning.

You know what else this game doesn’t have? Fans on cell phones. Everyone is hanging on every pitch and it’s beautiful. I know this because the broadcast keeps cutting away to the stands and I’ve seen the same woman clasping her hands in prayer between pitches a dozen times. Pretty sure I’ve seen her at the Fresh Pond Trader Joes.

LOL, Martinez plunked Alex Rodriguez just because he could. McCarver doesn’t like it. STFUTM. Now Gary Sheffield walks to load the bases. Um, Tito? I think you can go get him now. Francona leaves Martinez in and he gets Hideki Matsui to fly out. Good job, Tito.

The Yankees had a chance to break it open in the eighth, but Mike Timlin gets A-Rod to pop up with a runner on third and one out. This was A-Rod’s chance to be a True Yankee and he blew it. Shame, really.

On we go to the bottom of the eighth and it’s time for the WebMD update. Today’s injury is a broken heart. Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it.

Photo by Keith Torrie/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Here comes Papi and he takes Tom Gordon over the Monster and off the Volvo sign. I miss the Volvo sign. Now Millar, who draws another walk. Dude could take a walk like nobody else. Roberts comes in to pinch run and Gordon throws over a half dozen times. He’s clearly rattled. It’s happening again.

We’ve officially reached the moment where Francona becomes a super genius. Everyone keeps expecting Roberts to steal second, but Tito calls for the hit-and-run and Trot Nixon executes it perfectly sending a line drive single to right center. God bless that dirtbag right fielder.

First and third, nobody out and Joe Torre calls on Rivera. Officially this will go down as a blown save when Jason Varitek lofts a sacrifice fly to center to tie the game, 4-4, but this is on Gordon. No Yankee ever scared me more than Mariano. Salute to him.

When McCarver gets what he considers a profound thought in his head, he slows his cadence for dramatic effect. Then he repeats himself like he’s delivering a dugout sermon from Whitey Herzog.

“After 169 games and eight innings, the Red Sox season comes down to one inning,” McCarver tells us before the ninth. “One inning.” Oh Tim, we’re just getting started.

Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Keith Foulke is on to pitch the ninth. He worked 2 ⅔ the night before and will pitch tonight and then again in Game 6. Foulke threw 14 shutout innings during the postseason and was never the same. He gave up his career for this postseason run and was never properly appreciated because he made some crack about fans the following season that caused everyone to turn on him. Here’s to you, Keith Foulke. I have no idea how you ever got anyone out, but you were nails.

In the ninth, Tony Clark hit a ball to right that somehow crawled up the short fence and landed in the stands. Had it stayed in play, Ruben Sierra would have scored and the game would have been over. Sixteen years later, the universe hates Boston and its run of championships, but in 2004, this was all strange and new. Kind of miss those days.

Bronson Arroyo, fresh off getting hammered in Game 3, strikes out A-Rod and Sheffield en route to a clean 10th inning. The strike zone, by the way, has been a tad inconsistent. It’s hard to tell because there’s no K-Zone or pitch tracking and again, that’s totally fine! Maybe we were better off not knowing everything all the time.

Even though I know how this is going to turn out, I keep expecting Papi to hit a home run every time he comes up to hit. Instead, he strikes out.

On we go to the 12th and it’s Tim Wakefield time. The knuckleballer’s normal catcher/binky is Doug Mirabelli, but Tito rides with Varitek, who has absolutely no idea how to catch a knuckleball. Super genius.

Cairo singles to left and Manny kicks it like only Manny can, allowing Cairo to get to second. My kid smacks his forehead and says, “Oh, Manny.” He doesn’t even know the half of it. Fortunately, Jeter flies out and so does A-Rod. Crisis averted.

The Sox have stopped hitting. This seems bad.

Photo by Rick Friedman/Corbis via Getty Images

Ah, the 13th. Nothing bad can happen here. Sheffield is swinging for the Mass Pike. He’s legitimately terrifying. Somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sheffield with a nasty knuckler that Varitek misplays into a passed ball. I remember thinking at the time, “This is how it’s going to happen. This is how they’re going to kill us.”

Two outs now and Matsui’s at first. Whoops, another passed ball. Now he’s at second. Intentional walk to Posada. Everyone at Fenway is nervous as hell. My wife comes into the room and starts watching. Now she’s nervous.

ANOTHER passed ball puts runners on second and third. Missed opportunity by McCarver to say something profoundly stupid like, “Johnny Pesky held the ball. Varitek can’t catch the ball.” Actually, that would have been pretty good.

Seriously though, one more miscue from Varitek and he’s Mike Torrez combined with Bill Buckner. Somehow, somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sierra and Varitek miraculously holds on. Fenway erupts. My wife cheers. “Mom, you know what’s going to happen,” my kid says but none of us care. This was the greatest game I ever saw and even now it doesn’t seem real.

Photo by Corey Sipkin/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

OK, now the 14th. Esteban Loiaza is on to pitch for the Yankees and he’s somehow become Whitey Ford. His cutter is filthy. Johnny Damon, who has done absolutely nothing this series, draws a walk.

Two outs and here’s Manny. I always loved Manny in these spots because a) he’s a great hitter and b) he’s completely impervious to pressure. God, this is a great at-bat. He’s fouling off quality pitches and laying off sliders just outside the zone. Manny gets his walk and trots to first like it’s a game in June against the Orioles. Here comes Papi.

It took 10 pitches for Ortiz to end Game 5 with a bloop single to center off the handle of the bat. He fought off nasty cutters and sent one about 420 feet screaming into right that went foul. My wife is tense. My kid is yelling, “Come on, Papi!” Finally, the big man does his thing and Johnny Damon comes home from second with the winning run.

Buck had a great call. “Damon can keep right on running to New York.” McCarver immediately blows it by saying, “He didn’t do it again, did he?” Dramatic pause. “He did.” Thanks, Tim. Oh, and STFU.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

By the way, there’s no off day because there was a rainout prior to Game 4. I have no idea how either one of these teams turned around and played again the next night, but I’d give anything for another marathon Red Sox-Yankee game right about now. Thank Papi, I still have the DVDs.

[literallyprentissstwin]

Here to help! - pt.6

pt.1  pt.2 pt.3  pt.4 pt.5  masterlist 

Characters: Spencer Reid, Y/N Y/L/N, the team, Soraya, Michael (only mentioned), Lucas and Linda (co-workers), Mila 

Warnings: angst, talk about harassment, time jump

Summary. Spencer gets more and more confused about Y/N´s behaviour while Y/N is still looking for a way out. 

A/N: i´m so sorry that this got so long :D i hope you´ll like it tho :) 

Y/N was driving around all night trying to get her mind straight again. She understood that Spencer was just worried, but why did he need to ask so many questions to which she did not know an answer? Okay, actually, she knew the answers, she just could not say them out loud because it would make things real and more people would start to ask questions which would be worse than Reid´s and she did not know if she could take it. 

It was already 1am and Y/N did not know where to go. She could not return home right now. He would immediatley start to interrogate her again. So she drove to the only person she knew who would be awake at such a cruel night time on a work day. When she arrived at Soraya´s apartment, she parked her car on her driveway before she got out and silently walked into the apartment complex. When she arrived at her front door, she knocked waiting for her best friend to open up.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?! It´s 1 in the morning!”, Soraya wondered. 

“Spencer and I had a fight and I did not know where to go.”, Y/N answered shyly. Soraya gave her a sympathetical smile before she let her inside her apartment.

“What happened?”, her best friend wanted to know as she walked to the kitchen to get them both a cup of coffee. Y/N waited for the woman to come back to the living room where she quickly thanked her for the hot liquid before she started to explain. 

“Well...Spencer came back from a case tonight, we had dinner and everything was going fine until we started watching a move, I got startled and flinched away when he put his arm around me. I got up and told him I was fine. Then he suddenly saw a bruise, which is actually pretty normal, and I told him I got it at work which he did not believe. He started to profile me and you know I hate when he does that.  He said I had changed and asked if something was going on. I don´t know...I just snapped and told him to back off. And then I ran and drove around DC. I did not want to go back home right now.”, Y/N said as Soraya carefully listened. 

“Is something going on?”

“Excuse me?”

“I asked if something is going on. I mean Spencer would not be that resistent if he did not know that something was going on.”

“Come on, not you too.”, Y/N groaned. 

“Y/N, you don´t have to be a profiler to see that something is bothering you. It´s not good to bottle things up.”

“I know that...”

“Is it Michael?”, Soraya suddenly asked. 

“W-Wha-at?”, Y/N stottered, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and dizzy at the mention of that name.

“I noticed the tension between the both of you and did you think that I forgot the incident at the break room a while ago? He was really mean and rough towards you. Did he threaten you? You know you can tell me anything.”

Y/N sighedd and thought for a minute. She really could use someone to talk to but if Y/N would tell her what happened she would for sure tell Reid about it. Did Soraya need to know the wholw truth? Y/N gathered up all her courage before she began to speak.

“Yeah..Michael and I...we had some misunderstandings and difficulties. I feel like ever since Spencer came in my life, he changed. Like we used to be really close friends, but now he is acting so weird and he keeps telling me that he loves me and that he is the one who´s supposed to  be with me. I try to ignore him as much as I can, but it´s hard because he´s like a boomerang. He always keeps coming back when I got rid of him.” So far, Y/N was telling the truth.

“But he never got abusive towards you or threatened you?”, Soraya kept asking. Alarm bells started ringing inside Y/N´s head.

“No, oh god. He´s a weirdo and a creep, but he would never go this far and I would tell you if something was going on.”, Lie, well done Y/N. First, you´re lying to Spencer and now straight into your besties face, Y/N thought.

“Mmmh, okay. Please promise me that if he does not stop that you tell Bossman or your handsome boyfriend of yours.”, Soraya suggested and Y/N smiled. 

“I promise.”

A short moment of silence fell between the friends before Soraya spoke: “Don´t you think you should at least tell Spencer that you are safe and where you are?” I bet he is already worrying sick about you.”

And indeed, Soraya was right. When Y/N checked her phone, she had 75 text messages and 94 missed calls from Spencer. She decided to quickly text him and tell him where she was staying and that she would probably be back in the morning. She then put aside her phone, a jawn escaping her.

“Come on, sunshine. You can stay in the guest room. I´ll give you some clothes of mine in which you can sleep.”

“You´re the best!”, Y/N smiled as she put an arm around her shoulders hugging her from the side and followed her to the room. 

It was 7am when Y/N arrived back at Spencer´s and hers apartment hoping that he had already gone to work. Well, she hope wrong. When she opened the front door, she saw him sitting on the sofa, looking like he hadn´t slept at all last night. Guilt hit her.

“Y/N...”, Spencer got up as soon as he saw her, the tracks of his shed tears still visible on his face. Y/N could barely look at him, realising that she was the cause of his hurt.

“Hi...”, she quietly greeted as she put down her keys and phone.

“I´m sorry, Y/N. I should not have snapped at you. I´m just...”

“Worried, I know.”

Spencer gave her a nervous smile as he kept looking at her.

“I´m sorry, too. I should not have ran away like a little child.”, Y/N apologized.

“Guess we both messed up last night then.”, Spencer said and Y/N nodded in agreement. 

“I-I need to get ready for work, Spence. We can talk later?”

“I´d like that.”, he agreed. 

“Okay.”, Y/N replied, walking past him to get in the shower. There was a weird tension going on between the both of them. What the hell was going wrong? It wasn´t about trust issues, they both trusted eachother blindly, normally. What was Y/N holding back to reveal the truth? To seek for help? To actually accept the help?

“Sorry, I´m late.”, Spencer said as he quickly entered the conference room, taking a seat beside Derek and Rossi. 

“Long night?”, Derek smirked, but saw Reid´s face dropping.

“If you would like to call it that, then yes.”, Spencer responded annoyed, earning surprised looks by all of his co-workers.

“Sorry, it´s just...I haven´t slept all night because Y/N and I had a fight and she ran off and I did not know where she was or what was going on.”, he explained.

“Still about the thing we talked about?”, Emily wanted to know. 

“Yes...I talked to her about it and then I saw that she got new bruises about which I confronted her. I may have pushed her too much, because she totally freaked out and said that she did not need me fighting her battles. And then she just left, yelling that, in case I was wondering she did not cheat on me, and then she was gone and texted me about three hours later that she was sleeping at a friend´s place.”, he finished rambling. 

“Does she have any issues with someone? At work? Friends?”, Hotch wanted to know. 

“No, she said that she had some difficulties with her co-workers, but she had already solved them.”

“What did she tell you when you confronted her about the bruises?”, Dave asked. 

“She said that she fell at work.”

“Classic.”, Morgan said, “that´s the typical answer of someone who is a victim of abuse. Something is for sure going on.”

“I just wanna help her, but I don´t know how when she won´t talk to me.”, Reid sighed and put his head into his hands.

“We all know that you wanna help Y/N, but you know as well as we do that it´s not that easy, for multiple reasons.”, Hotch said, giving the doctor a concerend look.

“Maybe I could call her and meet up with her. Maybe for lunch or something? At a neutral place where she does not feel attacked.”, JJ suggested, looking at her co-workers.

“It´s worth a try, I mean, Y/N and you are close friends plus you are a woman. Maybe she trusts you enough to open up.”, Emily agreed.

“Okay, go!”, Aaron said as JJ got up to call Y/N, “Don´t worry, Reid. You don´t have to go through this alone. We´ll find out what´s going on.”

“Thank you!”, Spencer said, feeling grateful for calling these people his family.

Two hours and a half later, the team was working on some reports since they did not get a case. Y/N had responded to JJ´s message and declined the offer, telling her that she already had a lunch date with Soraya. Until then, Spencer did not thinkt that Y/N would have possibly figured out what their actual intention was. Well, he thought wrong. 

“Do you think I´m stupid?”, he suddenly heard someone yell from behind him and as he turned around, he saw Y/N entering the bullpen, looking furious.

“Really, Spence? You thought I would be so stupid and did not get that this was a trick?”

“Princess, calm down. We only wanna help.”, Derek tried to comfort her.

“I don´t need any help, okay? Why don´t you get this? I´m fine, I need to solve this alone.”, she replied as she came to a stop between Emily´s and Derek´s desk. 

“What was I supposed to do, Y/N? Keep watching you getting hurt and seeing you pull away from me even more? I´m sorry, I can´t do that.”

Y/N took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down before she began to speak. 

“Look, Spence. I´m gonna tell you again. This is none of your or your teams business. I don´t need your pity or protection because there is nothing to worry about. I´ll take care of it myself. Just, please...drop it.”

“I can´t.”, Spencer replied. 

“Well...then we should reconsider this whole thing between us.”

“Come on, Y/N. Don´t do this.”, Emily finally spoke, slowly getting up and touching Y/N´s shoulder as she flinched away.

Reid just stared at her, speechless.

“No, I have to. When you´ll return home tonight, don´t expect me to be there.”, Y/N said as she began to turn around and took a few steps towards the exit.

“Y/N...”, Spencer called after her, but Y/N only turned around, shaking her head. 

“Call me, when you´re ready to drop this and you´re done with sneaking into my personal space.”, and with that, she left as fast as she came, leaving her friends behind in shock. 

True to her words, Y/N was not there when Reid came home that night and since, then two weeks have passed. He had sent her dozen of text messages, mails and even called her whenever he could, but she never replied or called back. He did not know where she was, what she was and how she was doing. Garcia tried to trace her phone but Y/N must have turned off GPS. The team felt helpsless as they watched her friend suffering, unaware of the fact what was happening with Y/N in this passing time. It had broke her heart to leave him like that. She really wanted to reply to the texts, but she just couldn´t. Then, one day at work, Michael made his comeback and told her, that he was so sorry that Reid and she broke up and that he was in desperate need of a repetition of their last date. It would have been easy for her to say no to it, but again, he began to threaten her, this time he wanted to send Spencer pictures of Y/N and himself to show him who his girlfriend really was. Y/N had to give in, twice to be exact. And each date turned out at the first date, breaking YN even more in pieces. After her last encounter with Michael, she was not able to compose herself and put the pieces back together. She hid in her motel room, too scared to face anybody. God, how much she missed Spencer...

After these two weeks of silence between the couple, Reid decided that he had enough and that he wanted his girlfriend back. So he and Derek decided to go and visit Y/N at her work place. Reid rang the bell of the building and a tall, young man came to open it.

“Hey, how can I helo you?”, the man, who introduced himself as Lucas, asked.

“Hi, I´m Dr. Spencer Reid, this is Derek Morgan. We are looking for Y/N Y/L/N.She is working here.”

“Sure thing. Come in. I´m not in her group, but I can bring you to Ms. Lesara, she´s Ms. Y/L/N`s co-worker.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”, Derek said as the agents entered the buidling and followed Lucas. 

“Hey Linda, these men are looking for Y/N.”, he said to a dark haired woman who the agents assumed to be Ms. Lesara. 

“Oh, Y/N is absent today. She called in sick. Actually, she called in sick for the whole week which is really uncommon for her.”, Linda explained as suddenly a little girl came running towards Reid and hugged his legs. 

“Spencer!”; the young girl squeald as the agent picked her up.

“Mila, wow...look how tall you got. How are you?”, Reid smiled. 

“I´m 4 already. I´m a big girl now.”, she proudly said, “Is Ms. Y/L/N sick? Do you take good care of her?”

“I try my best that she´s all set and done to come back to you guys soon.”, he told the girl as he let her back down.

“Goody, bye Spency.”, she screamed as she ran off.

“You´re Spencer Reid? Y/N´s boyfriend?”, Linda asked.

“Yes, I am and I did not know that she called in sick.”

“Well, as I said, it´s not typical for her.”

“Do you still have the number with which she called you?”, Morgan wanted to know. 

“Yeah, maybe. I need to check. But hold on, shouldn´t you know where your girlfriend is at?”

Spencer shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah..we just had a conflict and she decided to take some time to bealone and ever since that, I cana´t get in contact with her. I would be really helpful, if you could give us the number.”

“Sure...sure, I´ll be right back.”, with that Linda left and searched for the numer which she gladly found quickly.

“There you go!”, she said as she handed him a piece of paper. 

“Thank you for your help, Mam!”, Morgan said as they quickly said there goodbyes and turned around to leave. 

“Excuse me, Spencer?!”, they suddenly heard someon saying from behind thm as they already went out of the door.

“Soraya, hey. How are you doing?”, Spencer wanted to know as he turned around. 

“Oh..I´m okay. I heard you talking with LInda and I have to agree with her. It´s not typical for Y/N to be absent a whole week.”

“Mam, can you tell us something about Y/N and her latest behaviour?”, Derek asked and Soraya started to look uncomfortable.

“Soraya?”, Reid asked. 

“Well...she kinda seemed a bit off these last few weeks and she always was on edge.”

“Did she tell you anything?”, Reid asked , “please...it´s important.”

“She´s going to kill me, but...yes, when she came to me that one night where you fought she told me that somebody was threatening, or as he said, that someon was constantly on her six and actually harassing her. She said that he never got abusive towards her, but somehow, I don´t believe her. She also told me that it has been handled.”

“Did she tell you a name?”, Morgan asked. 

“Yes..but, I can´t tell you, she´ll kill me. I promised to not tell anybody.”

“Soraya, if this guy is really threatening and hurting her, we  need to do everything we can to help. She can not do this on her own.”

Soraya thought about it for a minute. 

“His name is Michael Dugan. He works in our group. I noticed that there has been some tension between the both of them and they had a little talk some weeks back which left me concerend, but other then that, there is no evidence that he is really responsble for this odd behaviour. I guess, she needs to finally talk about it, because to be honest? I think there is more than what she is telling.”

“Thank you, you really helped us.”, Spencer said as he smiled at Soraya. She quietly turned around to go back. 

As soon as she was out of sight, Derek called Garcia to let her do a backgroud check of this guy while they walked to the car. 

He has been right all the time. The danger was real and he needed to help Y/N as quick as possible before it was too late. 

Criminal Minds Tag List:

@imagicana @marvelfanlife @illegalcerebral @milkandcookies528 @liz-a-22 @sunreid​ @reidoneshots​ @rachficrecs​

Spencer Tag List:

@littledizzyhurricane @lookingforgalifrey @curlyreid

[wethepeopleresist-blog]

Below are notes from the Swing Left national call taken by a member of Los Angeles Indivisible. Go to swingleft.org to sign up and get started.

SWING LEFT – National kick-off call  What can I start doing now to make a difference in 2018? 

SPEAKER: Ethan Todras-Whitehall – Cofounder 

What is Swing Left? The idea is to help you find your closest swing district and to help you swing it left! 

How I started Swing Left. The morning after the election, I was feeling the way many of you were probably feeling: dejected, disheartened, and wondering what I could do to change the political situation. I started googling where the closest Republican-held to me was, and suddenly I realized there should be a tool to do this more easily… so I made one. 

Why I started Swing Left was this: I have a two-year-old daughter. When people ask me what I do, I always say that I’m a dad, a writer, and a teacher -- in that order. In that order because those are my priorities. Leading up to the election in November, I was excited for Hillary. (spoke for a minute about how we may not all have liked Hillary, but we are all on the same team as Democrats). I bought my daughter a “run like a girl” shirt, and the morning of the election she wore it to pre-school. She wore that shirt proudly all day. At the end of the day, I told my daughter that in the morning she would wake up to a woman president. It felt that certain. It felt like things were moving forward, Obama, Hillary… etc. And then Trump. And then suddenly it wasn’t moving forward. She asked “who’s my president” and I couldn’t answer her. I still can’t. Somewhere on the path to a better future, things went horribly wrong. This is because progress doesn’t happen on its own; you have to make it happen. That’s what we’re here to do tonight. 

Who is involved with Swing Left? I know this has been a topic of much debate recently, so here is the answer: it’s basically people like you. None of us had been involved before in politics in a formal way. I’m just a guy here talking to you from my home office while my wife gets my daughter to sleep. I had this idea and my friends helped me to make it. My friends – and friends of friends – all donated time and talent for free. When we launched, we hoped to have 20,000 signed up by March. Instead we had 150,000 people signed up in 3 days. Currently almost 300,000 people have signed up. This got bigger than we ever expected. Because of that, since the initial launch we’ve brought on experienced organizers and helpers to deal with this massive response and help us streamline our work. 

SWINGING LEFT – What does it mean, exactly? Turning red districts blue. For us, it all starts with the House of Representatives. Why the House? To put it simply: because it is more swing-able. Every seat turns over at every election. The incumbent party always fares worse during mid-term elections, and we are betting that 2 years of Trump will amplify this anti-incumbent-party tendency. And we are trying to better position democrats and progressives to take full advantage. 

What is a swing district? A swing district is any one that was won by a Republican with less than 15% of the vote, or won by a Democrat with less than 10% of the vote. We chose these parameters aggressively, and plan to add more districts as we get better information from our new partners and volunteers with more extensive organizing experience. 

How can out-of-district volunteers make a difference? Connect. Inform. Empower. 

1. Connect. Reach out to people. Build community around shared goal. Stay tuned for specific strategies from our organization on how to do this. 

2. Inform. Get people invested in your local swing district. Get to know the swing district representative better than your own, if possible. By doing this, you will be more effective. 

3. Empower. You all are the 2018 campaign in waiting. As an organization, we are starting the hard work now. We are laying the groundwork for your local Democractic party campaigns, so when they really get going they have solid groundwork to build upon. Look out for more information from us about how exactly to get involved. 

SPEAKER: Adrienne Lever, longtime organizer (Obama 08, Hillary 16, etc.) 

16,000 called in tonight, that is amazing. 

So much about organizing is about your personal story. I’m going to tell you a personal story. On Election Day in November, I was working for the Hillary campaign. We were going door to door in Ohio, trying to get out the vote for Hillary. It was getting close to the end of the day, and most houses were dark or the people inside did not want to answer. One woman named Linda did answer. I spoke with Linda about the election. She said that she was leaning toward voting for Hillary, but didn’t think her vote mattered. We talked about issues such as abortion and gun control, and I shared my personal reasons for supporting Clinton. In doing so, I convinced a previously reticent Linda to put on her shoes to go vote at 7:20PM. Polls were closing in her neighborhood at 7:30PM. 

Here at Swing Left we are focusing on the long game. The essential lesson from the election last year is that we cannot wait until 7:20PM to have these vital conversations with constituents. 

Races are local. Implications are national. 

We on the left have neglected these critical local elections in the past, but never again. We will build communities and connections over the long term in order to retake seats. We can’t have sustainable impact until we retake seats. 

SECRET: winning is realistic. How/why? 

1. Turnout in local races is low. This makes it easier to get the number of votes needed to flip a seat. 

2. Margins are small. 161 votes flipped az-2 from a Democrat to a Republican in 2014. In 2015 the CA-49 Republican won by 1,621 votes. Etc. These numbers are margins that we can manage. Because of these small margins, we know that voter contact is key and can work. In the organizing world, door knocking is king as far as strategy. It is the most effective way to talk to voters. High-quality, face-to-face conversations have the most impact, not just anecdotally but also according to two decades of randomized experiments. 

The Takeaway: We can’t wait until 7:20 any longer -- have those door knocking conversations earlier! 2018 is closer than it seems. The biggest problem for congressional campaigns is that they don’t have the money to build a campaign more than a few months ahead of an election. They also don’t have enough volunteers to run good ground game at any point. BUT WE CAN. We will step up ground game in critical areas, starting NOW. 

SPEAKER: Matt Ewing (MoveOn.org) 

I’m going to talk to you about specifics, PHASE 1 activites (later on we will discuss fundraising and voter registration) 

**WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW** 

RESEARCH 

1. Online research. What’s the story with the current representative? What are the voting demographics? Who are the key organizations and political players? What’s the lay of the land? We all need to work together. After this meeting, we are launching crowd sourcing research campaigns via our website. Join us. Help research and flesh out the story for these districts. 

2. Offline research. We have partnered with the #knockeverydoor organization (also a fairly new organization) because their focus is to do just that. Volunteer support for in-person activities – and assistance with how to make those activities enjoyable, productive and effective. Sign up via their website. Let us know how it goes. We all need to spend more time out their speaking with actual voters. 

RECRUITMENT 

HOUSE PARTIES! We need to engage our communities, to educate friends/family/ etc. Let’s get together march 4th! Everyone on this call should host a house party on march 4th. We will provide a guide for hosting and tips for how to get discussion and participation off the ground. Our opposition online research will be ready and available to you by then, along with a list of concrete actions to undertake. 

1. START RESEARCHING 

2. START TALKING 

3. HOST A PARTY 

Go to www.swingleft.org/getstarted to find all the support materials you need. 

People say it is impossible to win back the House. 12 years ago people said the same thing -- but we did it. Not only is it possible, it’s happened before and not that long ago. Hard and consistent work will get this done. 

Martin Luther King said that the arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice, but at the end of the day, it only does that because of the hard work of good people. Stick up for what is right and do something that is uncomfortable. That’s how we got this far, and how we will move forward from here. 

Together we can swing this country left.

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Wonderland by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Or on FF

Tagging:  @kmomof4 @lfh1226-linda @teamhook @itsfabianadocarmo

Chapter 7: Trust

“How do you think you’re doing so far? A few more days and you will have completed your first two weeks.”

“I guess it’s going well. I’m not really sure how else it could go.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Killian. It’s not easy facing truth’s we aren’t ready to see. And you’ve been handling that well.”

Killian wasn’t sure he agreed with the good Doc. The only thing he had faced was admitting out loud that the accident was his fault. Perhaps he was a bit surprised that he had told Emma. He didn’t expect to do that. Honestly, he had followed the girl out to apologize for being so harsh in group, only to end up telling her about the accident. He didn’t know what it was about Emma, but the woman had him a bit off his game.

“So, today let’s talk about what happened after the accident. More specifically the loss of your hand, how did you handle the news?”

He straightened in his chair, rubbing his palm on his knee. “Like anyone who is just told that their entire life had changed.” He sat back in his seat and shrugged his shoulders. “Really badly.”

“When did you find out?”

“I woke up in the hospital sometime after the accident, my brother Liam was there. I could tell something was wrong. He told me about my hand first. I guess I was in shock. I didn’t react at all honestly. It was like being numb. I don’t have any other way of explaining it. I’m a musician and suddenly that’s all gone.”

“You play guitar?”

“Played. I dunno what I’ll do now. Honestly, I haven’t even thought about it. It seems so trivial considering everything else I lost.”

“I wouldn’t say trivial, Killian. It’s your life. Your livelihood.”

“Rob always tells me I have my good looks and acting to fall back on, but honestly I did all that because I could. Music was my passion; it was something I did because I wanted to.”

“And that is something that the accident took away from you.”

Killian shuddered with guilt to even feel anger about the loss of a career. “None of that mattered after he told me about Milah and the baby.”

“And how did you handle that?”

“I lost my mind. Ripped my IV out, Liam had to bring in security to restrain me. When I finally calmed down, he asked if I had been drinking that night. The look on his face showed so much disappointment.  I got angry, kicked him out of my room. Refused to speak to him for days.”

“Why do you think you reacted that way?”

“My whole life I’ve been living in Liam’s shadow. He was always the golden boy. Dad used to tell me that if the Jones brothers were to make anything of their lives, I just needed to watch my brother. He was the best of us.”

“What does Liam do for a living?”

“He’s a hero.”

“In your mind, I’m sure.”

“No like an actual damn hero. While I was making music on a stupid guitar, he was off fighting in a war.”

“Do you feel like your success was not earned because it wasn’t won the same way as Liam’s?”

“It wasn’t honorable like his. I sing stupid lyrics about dumb shit that doesn’t matter to anyone but me.” He stood up and started pacing the back of the room. “The night we got our record deal, his convoy got ambushed. I got the call that night that that his platoon had gone missing, presumed dead or captured. Days went by before we heard anything. A week later he came home a goddamn hero. Walked his whole platoon out of danger, fought off an attack, and won a fucking Gold Star. I got a record contract. A fucking record contract and he saved ten people. There was no living up to that.”

“Your success shouldn’t be compared to your brother’s sacrifices. It is admirable what he did but that doesn’t mean that everything you have earned means anything less.”

He paused, considering his words but knowing that nothing he would ever do could possibly match the honor of his brother.

“Have you thought about inviting him for family day coming up?”

“I’m not certain he would come even if I did.”

Killian continued to pace behind the couch. He spent the rest of his session thinking about his brother and the disappointment he had caused in the past year. The last time he had spoken to him still haunted his dreams.

“Killian you need help.”

“Fuck off, I’m fine.”

“How much coke is up your nose right now?”

“Enough that you are killing my buzz!”

“This isn’t you. The girls, the drugs, I don’t even know you anymore. You and Milah were…”

“Don’t, don’t talk about her. You don’t know anything about her. You don’t get to say her name.”

“Killian.”

“Get out, Liam. I never want to see you again.”

When he emerged from the office, he was surprised to see Ruby waiting around outside the door.

“Hello lass, are you next?”

“No, I just wanted to check on you.”

Killian had been impressed at how nice the girl had been to him since the incident on the beach where he was unable to perform a simple act of intimacy. He smiled at the girl. “No need, love. I’m fine, barely a scratch.” He joked.

He stilled when he saw the blonde he had been avoiding approaching them from the other side of the courtyard.

“Hey.”

“Hey Emma, meeting with Hop?” Ruby asked her roommate.

“Um yeah, guess it’s my turn to get my head shrunk.”

She made eye contact with him and he quickly looked away. He hadn’t spoken to the girl since she banished him from her sight after their last group session. That didn’t mean he hadn’t thought about her since then. He cursed the fact that it had been more than once.

“If you don’t mind Ruby, I am going to take a run.” He excused himself and left the ladies staring as he walked away.

~*~

“You scared him off.” Ruby complained as soon as he ran off.

“What did I do?”

“You’re always so mean to him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Geez Rubes, I get it you’re fucking him but I’m not going to be lectured about being nice to someone that has made my life hell since I got here.”

She flinched and then narrowed her eyes. “You give as good as you get. Hell, I’m surprised the two of you haven’t fucked with the way you go at each other.”

“Not if he was the last man on this island.” She stated louder than she had intended.

“Trying to convince me or yourself?” She pursed her lips and walked away.

“Whatever.” She pushed through the door and into the office.

“Good afternoon, Emma.”

“I guess.” She said sourly.

“So, last group session we spoke a lot about Neal? You’ve implied that your parents liked him.”

“Of course, everyone likes Neal. My parents think he’s the best thing for me.”

“And what do you think?”

“No one cares what I want, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“You’re pregnant?”

“That’s what happens when two lines show up on the fucking test, Neal.”

“How the hell did this happen?”

“It’s called sex, you asshole.”

“And you’re sure it’s mine?”

“What the hell, Neal.”

“Ok, sorry, what are you going to do now?”

“What am I going to do? Like this is all on me?”

“Emma, I’m just saying, we can’t have a damn baby.”

Later that evening as Emma’s legs worked the exercise bike in the lonely gym, she tried not to think about the child she gave away. She had seen his dark head of hair, ten fingers and ten toes, and she knew that if she even held him for ten seconds, she would have never let him go. So instead, she refused to hold him, only telling them his name as they took him from the room.

Henry.

She wondered where he was, what family had accepted him as their own. If he was being loved and taken care of.

She pushed herself faster, sweat pouring off her brow as she cycled harder and faster than she could even maintain. She screamed as loud as she could, pressing her feet against the pedals.

“I think you bested the mechanical beast.”

She jumped at the sound of another voice in the darkened silence of the gym.

“Can you not sneak up on me, for the last time?”

“Sorry, love. It was not my intention to sneak up on anyone. Apparently, you and I had the same idea for blowing off steam tonight. I can leave if you would prefer.”

She blew out a loud puff of air. “No, it’s not my gym, if you want to be here, I’m not going to stop you.”

He climbed onto the bike next to her and she noticed they each seemed to be matching the pace of the other, when she sped up, so did he. It was like a competition that neither would admit to entering.

The sweat was starting to drip down her back, her hair caked to her forehead. She chanced a glance in his direction and saw beads of sweat glistening on his skin. She wished to hell that didn’t make him more attractive than he already was. She silently wondered what it would feel like to run her hands across his wet flesh, immediately squeezing her thighs together as she worked the bike, the heat between her legs intensifying the more she glanced in his direction.

Suddenly his pace slowed beside her, and she breathed a sigh of relief, an unspoken win she would claim.

“You win.” He chuckled, with his hands in the air as he slowed his legs on the bike.

“Wasn’t aware we were in a race.” She tried acting as disinterested as she could.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

She glared in his direction. “Really, what gave you that clue?”

“Are you always this difficult or is it just for my benefit?”

She slowed down her speed and turned to look at him. “What do you want from me? Because I’m just trying to get through this fucking bullshit without losing my mind.”

“May I offer a suggestion?”

“From you?”

“Try something new darling, it’s called trust.”

“I don’t trust anyone but myself.”

“Come with me.” He climbed off his bike and gestured for her to follow him.

“What are you playing at?”

“No games, love.” He stared at her, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight coming through the large glass windows.

“Fine.” She groaned and followed him throughout the complex, leaving the lights of the buildings behind as her eyes saw the water come into view.

They walked without speaking for ten minutes, before he stopped and bent down to remove his shoes. “Come on, love, the sand begs to be felt, not trampled on.”

She stood defiantly watching him set his shoes to the side, pulling his socks off and standing before her, barefoot in his sweatpants. She held her breath before bending down and removing her shoes and socks and setting them next to his.

“Now what?” she said dryly.

“Let’s walk.”

She followed him reluctantly, the sand cold and coarse between her toes. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, with each footstep she felt her burden of the last few days become lighter.

“When things get to be too much, I find that the water, she calms me.”

Emma looked over at him, his hair blowing in the breeze, she noticed that his expression was lighter and calmer than she had ever seen him.

“She?”

“Aye, the ocean is my mistress.”

She laughed lightly. “Do you live near the ocean?”

“Aye. Seattle. And you?”

“New York, but I spend more time in the city than I do at the beach.”

“See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” He joked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Getting you to talk is quite the challenge. It’s like you’re afraid. Afraid to talk, to reveal yourself. To trust me.”

“I don’t trust anyone, don’t take it personally.”

“Not even Neal?”

She laughed loudly. “Nice try.”

“Sorry, love. Just trying to figure you out.”

“Why?”

“I like a challenge, I guess. Besides, no one should go through something like this alone.”

She stopped walking. “I am alone. None of us are here for each other. I don’t know you; you don’t know me. I’m not here to make friends.”

He turned to face her. “You’re not alone, Emma.”

Emma groaned. “Oh my God, why do you even care, you hate me anyway.”

“Actually, I quite fancy you from time to time when you’re not yelling at me.”

For a moment she just stared at him, his eyes latched onto hers. And then she started laughing. It began in her stomach and it overwhelmed her until she was practically giddy with choked giggles and tears that formed under her eyelids. She didn’t even know why she was laughing, nothing about what was happening to her was funny, yet here she was, full belly laughs almost taking her off her feet.

When she finally calmed, he was looking at her with a smile across his face. “Wow I haven’t laughed like that in years.” She said softly.

“Long overdue then, I should say.”

He didn’t push for anything else, he simply continued the walk, taking in the views of the ocean until his watch started to beep and they both realized the time.

“Guess we should head back.”

She looked up at him, wondering what else was going on behind those eyes of his. “Um yeah.” They turned back to where they left their shoes. “Thanks.” Her voice was so quiet she wondered if he even heard her. But he simply nodded and bent down to gather his shoes.

She expected him to say something as they went their separate ways to their rooms, but he surprised her with simply a smile and a nod before heading to his room. She didn’t know what to make of Killian Jones. But for a moment they seemed to be at a truce.

“Where have you been?” Ruby was waiting for her in their room, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Just walking. Therapy was a bit rough today.”

“Oh. Sorry. I’ve had a couple of those days.”

“You didn’t happen to see Killian around tonight, did you?”

“I’m not his keeper.” She said quickly.

“I know, I was just looking for him, couldn’t find him anywhere.”

“Booty call?”

She laughed. “Nah, just worried about him.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “Oh, why?”

“I don’t know, he doesn’t really talk about himself much, but I could tell that his last few sessions were really getting to him.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe check the gym next time. I think he goes there once everyone has left.”

“Oh?”

She turned to change her clothes, ignoring the questioning looks from her roommate.

“Get some sleep Rubes.”

Emma pulled the covers under her chin, basking in the darkness of the night. She didn’t know what to think of her evening on the beach. There were times she absolutely hated the man with one hand. Loathed the way he stared at her, knowing he was trying to get under her armor. She didn’t understand Killian Jones. But what gnawed at her even more was the fact that she wanted to understand him.

~*~

Killian fell into bed that evening with thoughts of Emma Swan. It wasn’t until he woke the next morning that he realized he didn’t dream of Milah. There was no nightmare of her in his arms, her life drained from her body. No dream of her hair blowing in the wind on the deck of his ship. A part of him was angry that Emma invaded his thoughts and kept him from seeing Milah’s face in his dreams. The other part was curious to understand what this woman had that was invading so much of his life.

“There you are!” He looked up to see Ruby approaching his table, her tray of food in her hand. “I looked all over for you yesterday.

“Sorry love, I was a bit lost in my head yesterday. Was everything alright?”

“Of course, silly. I just wanted to see you.”

He smiled tentatively at the girl. He liked Ruby. She was very nice to him, had kept their relationship or lack thereof private, and seemed to truly care about his wellbeing.

“Well, here I am. So, tell me, lass. How are you doing?”

She smiled widely. “I’m doing great. Family day is coming, and my Gran is definitely coming.”

“That’s excellent news.”

“What about you? Are you inviting anyone?”

“I don’t have my phone privileges for another day. But I haven’t decided yet if I will be inviting anyone.”

“You really should consider it. It’s another big step in your recovery when you can work through things with those you love.”

“Thanks, I’ll consider it.”

He looked up and caught Emma staring in his direction and he found himself wondering if family day would bring Emma’s boyfriend to the island. He almost wanted to see the man that had destroyed her view of trust and helped push her down the path that led her here.

He already disliked Neal, he’d heard enough in their group session about his part in leading a 14-year-old to drugs and alcohol. What kind of a man could do that to someone they care about?

How could anyone love someone yet assist them in destroying themselves?

“Come on Killian, what’s the big deal. It’s like alcohol but faster.”

“Can’t you get addicted to this stuff?”

“Baby, it’s just for fun. We won’t let it go that far. Do this with me, just this once.”

“Alright love, just this once. Anything for my Milah.”

He pushed the thoughts away, shoving the last of his food into his mouth and excusing himself from the table. He would be forced to face enough truth’s in his sessions with Dr. Hopper, he’d be damned if he were going to drive himself mad at breakfast.