#limited 72 hours of love

[somanyupdates]

#我的盲盒恋人定档0625# 热爱我的热爱，但更要勇敢做自己��6月25日和暖暖一起见证我的星途时刻！ #我的盲盒恋人

20240622 | Cr. 何昶希HCX

[evie-sturns]

matt sturniolo being a tease

-----------------------------------------------------

matt was just the biggest tease, he couldn't help himself! you just got so worked up over everything he did, and he loved to take advantage of you.

hot tears rolled down your cheeks as he just pressed his tip against your entrance, you were going borderline insane now. "please- matt." you whine, clawing at his arms as you tried to pull him closer to you, just on the slim chance he might slip a little further inside of you. matt shook his head, "gotta wait hon," he whispers, god he is just being so unfair. matt added a little more pressure to your entrance, the head of his cock pressed firmly against your aching hole, he has been pushing you to your limit. "matt- 's not fair." you cry out, matt holds you firmly down on the mattress as you attempt to push your hips forward. "matt its not faiirr!" he mocks you, just as you are about to snap back he slides just the tip inside of you, your walls instantly clamp around him at the fullness you had been craving for almost an hour now. "will that stop your 'whinin for a little bit?" matt asks, tracing small circles on your waist. you nod frantically, sinking your top teeth into your puffy bottom lip.

matt gently brushes his thumb over your swollen clit, the slight amount of pressure making you clench around his tip, so tight that he slips out. "no-!" you exclaim breathlessly from the loss of contact. "shhh, sh." he shushes you, "matt please!" you say with a small sob, "dont cry," matt laughs with a soft smile, gently wiping your eyes. he slowly moves up your body, his hard cock inches away from your face now. he slides his tip over your pouty lips, his precum glazing over your lips. your frown instantly turns into a smile as you open your mouth eagerly, craving the taste of him now. he pulls away, the taste of him spread across your lips, he moves back down your body. he lines himself up with your raw entrance, leaking with arousal. he slowly inches inside of you, finally. slowly filling you up to the brim, "thank you- thank you matt!" you sniff with a small moan, "dont thank me, i might just stay still here for another 10 minutes, see how much more worked up i can get you." matt says with a cheeky grin.

----

@sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s @ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl girl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo o @chrisstopherfilmed @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover er @solarsturniolo lo @mattsenthusiast t @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0tripletzz @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonlybitch @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos

@sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 1 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz 4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-love r @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall john @raysmayhem-72

[bubblegumgothglados]

This is a RACK focused best practice guide to doing a drowning scene, more specifically a scene where you're repeatedly forcing your victims head under the water. These are my suggestions based on extensive research but they are only theoretical i haven't got to do this to anyone yet. If you have actual experience id love to hear from you please.

Pre-scene setup

Learn CPR. This is the single thing that I'm going to say is mandatory, everything else is just a suggestion this isn't. If worst comes to worst and your victim is drowning you need to be able to save their life.

Learn your victim. How do they react in pain, when they're scared or panicking, where are there mental breaking points. Especially helpful to have done breath play with them before, how long can they hold their breath, how hard will they fight, what are their non verbal cues. Are they the type of person who will push their limits past the danger point, are you comfortable shutting the scene down when they're begging you to continue.

Figure out your nonverbal communication. A safeword is important but not nearly enough for a scene like this. Their head is going to be underwater most if the time and they'll probably be struggling and fighting. What signs can they make to tell you to stop or slow down under these conditions. I would suggest giving them something to hold that can make noise, a squeaky toy or a clicker or something similar, with which to signal you.

During the scene

Use warm water. Cold water adds a whole plethora of new problems significantly increasing the risk. I'm not sure of the exact temperature but I think it should be either room temperature so your victim doesn't feel a temperature difference between the air and the water, or body temperature so the water doesn't change their core temperature. (If you'd like to use cold water or even ice water, if that's part of the appeal, ill happily figure out the additional risks in exchange for a video of you drowning your victim ^.^)

Watch their face. Like any other form of breath play hypoxia is a major risk. This post isn't about breath play, I'm assuming you know all those risks and how to manage them before you do something like this.

Start slow. Put your hand on their head but let them submerge themselves and then come back up when they're ready. This will get them used to the sensation and you used to the rhythm. Slowly increase pressure and intensity until you're forcing their head under and pulling it up against their will.

Have the person fill their lungs to capacity before submerging them. The reason being they will have to breath out before they breath water back in so as soon as you see the first sign of bubbles you can pull them out.

After care

This scene will be intense so the aftercare needs to be too. Again this post isn't about proper aftercare I'm assuming you know how to do that if you're doing something like this. But in addition to the usual.

Have a plan for monitoring your victim for the next 72 hours. There are two major complications that can occur after a drowning incident and both can take days to present themselves. The first is when a persons throat spasms and closes, this is supposed to happen when they initially inhale water but can happen much later. The signs to look out for include persistent coughing, irregular breathing, dizziness, confusion, and foam around the mouth and nose. The second is when water gets deep into the lunges it can cause fluid to build up which inhibits gas exchange causing the person to slowly suffocate. The signs to look out for can include coughing up blood, excessive sweating, anxiety, pale skin, and a crackling sound when breathing deeply. If your victim shows any of these signs get them to a medical professional asap, don't risk it these will both cause very painful death.

Enjoy ^.^

[paloma-ascends-into-hellfire]

eating disorder harm reduction

no one ever compiled this so that it what we are doing today. for people with eds and people whose loved ones do. please note: i’m not a doctor. this is a compilation of things from books and ed resource sites.

for people whose loved ones have an eating disorder:

try to make sure they know these things.

try not to force them to eat, they might feel uncomfortable eating in front of people. also, risk of refeeding syndrome.

if their life is in danger and you are seeking help for them, consult the person beforehand to make sure they will be safe and give them a heads-up so that they aren’t startled (especially if they’re neurodivergent! giving them notice will aid control!)

offer them ways of controlling things aside from food - practice consent, include them in conversations, don’t talk about them behind their back, compliment their makeup or hair.

be patient. the person may be irritable from lack of sleep, feelings of depression, worthlessness, etc., or malnutrition.

keep in mind that you can’t tell if someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. people of all weights do - only 17% of anorexics are underweight - and also, men and non binary people can also have eds.

general:

drink lots of water, especially if you’re drinking lots of caffeine.

drink some electrolytes at least once a week - gatorade, electrolyte tablets, coconut water, doesn’t matter, just get it into your system.

if you are getting dizzy or flushed and can feel your heart beating, quick carbs will raise your blood sugar - sweets, bread, fruit, juice, non diet soda, whatever. keep snacks around pls.

your brain uses 400-500 calories daily. eat more than this.

take your supplements!

you still need protein, have an egg or something.

don’t take adderal or insulin unless you are actually diabetic or neurodivergent, because you are raising the price by buying them and denying access to those who need it.

throw a towel over the mirror. it’s not worth it if it’ll cause you anxiety.

try to limit disordered behaviours like body checking, purging, and weigh ins.

practice good dental hygiene.

put your scale somewhere where you have to actively look for it to weigh yourself.

avoid social media and for your sake don’t go on pro ed tiktok or tumblr or twitter or insta.

get a buddy who also struggles with the same thing if possible to support each other.

get regular medical check ups (if you can afford it)

practice things within your control - makeup, hair, clothing, etc.

push your rules - eat 5 minutes before your time, or 50 calories over your limit.

for people with restrictive disorders (e.g. anorexia):

do weight and resistance training at least twice a week to prevent musculoskeletal conditions such as osteoporosis.

don’t drink on an empty stomach.

try to put gaps between fasting periods.

don’t fast for more than 72 hours.

wear lots of layers to keep warm.

eat an extra 100-200 calories on your period if you menstruate.

have a metabolism day.

take care of your hair.

as horrifying as this is to many people, please go to the hospital if you’re experiencing heart problems or if you’re passing out for more than 30 seconds.

for people with purging disorders (e.g. bulimia):

if you would like to purge, wait 15 minutes first.

after purging: drink lots of water - the emptiness you feel is dehydration. don’t brush your teeth but rinse your mouth out, preferably with an alkaline mouthwash or baking soda mixed into water. do something you want to do, like reading a book or watching a show. don’t smoke. don’t have anything acidic. eat a banana or some chocolate or a rice cake to keep your blood sugar levels in check.

if you vomit blood or your vomit looks like coffee grounds, this is a sign of internal bleeding. you could be drowning in your own blood from a hole in your esophagus, essentially. go to the hospital or call 911/999/the emergency number in your area.

stay safe everyone. i hope this helps. also, i do not use these tags - i have them blocked - but i am using them so that people on these tags will find this because they need it most.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

words to use instead of air/wind?

Air—the mixture of invisible odorless tasteless gases (such as nitrogen and oxygen) that surrounds the earth

Wind—a natural movement of air of any velocity

Airflow - a flow of air; especially: the motion of air (as around parts of an airplane in flight) relative to the surface of a body immersed in it

Airstream - a current of air

Billow - to bulge or swell out (as through action of the wind)

Blast - a violent gust of wind

Blow - an instance of air moving with speed or force; a blowing of wind especially when strong or violent

Bluster - a violent boisterous blowing

Breath - a slight breeze; air inhaled and exhaled in breathing

Breeze - a light gentle wind

Buran - a northeasterly wind of gale force in Russia and central Asia usually identified with sandstorms in summer and blizzards in winter

Chinook - a warm moist southwest wind of the coast from Oregon northward; a warm dry wind that descends the eastern slopes of the Rocky Mountains

Current - the part of a fluid body (such as air or water) moving continuously in a certain direction

Cyclone - a storm or system of winds that rotates about a center of low atmospheric pressure, advances at a speed of 20 to 30 miles (about 30 to 50 kilometers) an hour, and often brings heavy rain

Draft - a current of air in a closed-in space

Eddy - a current of water or air running contrary to the main current; especially: a circular current

Flatus - gas generated in the stomach or bowels

Flurry - a gust of wind

Gale - a strong current of air

Gas - a fluid (such as air) that has neither independent shape nor volume but tends to expand indefinitely

Gust - a sudden brief rush of wind

Headwind - a wind having the opposite general direction to a course of movement (as of an aircraft)

Mistral - a strong cold dry northerly wind of southern France

Northeaster - a strong northeast wind

Norther - a strong north wind

Northwester - a strong northwest wind

Puff - an act or instance of puffing; whiff

Respiration - the movement of air or dissolved gases into and out of the lungs

Scud - a gust of wind

Sigh - the sound of gently moving or escaping air

Slipstream - a stream of fluid (such as air or water) driven aft by a propeller

Southeaster - a strong southeast wind

Southwester - a strong southwest wind

Squall - a sudden violent wind often with rain or snow

Storm - wind having a speed of 64 to 72 miles (103 to 117 kilometers) per hour

Stream - any body of flowing fluid (such as water or gas)

Tailwind - a wind having the same general direction as a course of movement (as of an aircraft)

Tempest - a violent storm; a disturbance of the atmosphere accompanied by wind and often by precipitation (as rain or snow)

Tornado - a violent destructive whirling wind accompanied by a funnel-shaped cloud that progresses in a narrow path over the land

Updraft - an upward movement of gas (such as air)

Uprush - an upward rush (as of gas or liquid)

Vapor - a substance in the gaseous state as distinguished from the liquid or solid state

Ventilation - circulation of air

Waft - a slight breeze; puff

Westerly - a wind from the west

Whiff - a quick puff or slight gust especially of air, odor, gas, smoke, or spray

Whirlwind - a small rotating windstorm of limited extent

Williwaw - a sudden violent wind

Windblast - a gust of wind

Windflaw - a gust of wind

Windstorm - a storm marked by high wind with little or no precipitation

Zephyr - a breeze from the west

Hope this helps with your writing. Do tag me, or send me a link. I'd love to read your work!

More: Word Lists

[empresskadia]

Downtime [Master Chief|John-117]

Feedback is always appreciated, let me know if you think it's too much detail or if there is something I can improve on.

It had been mission after mission after mission lately with no time in between to breathe. Not since the AI Cortana went rogue, taking over the system with her so-called guardians. But even Spartans reached a certain limit and stopped being useful, and it was fair to say you had reached it.

For the past three weeks, you hadn’t been on the UNSC Infinity for more than 5 minutes. Roland gave a quick briefing on the current Pelican, then out you went on the next and repeat.

This last mission had you clear out a Covenant outpost on a remote moon, and Roland had underestimated the numbers.

Another mission, another battle to fight, and you were over it. Even the AI could tell between the posture and snapping tone that the Spartan was at the wits end.

You could feel the exhaustion weighing you down as you left the pelican onto the Infinity. Your armor felt heavier than usual, each step a laborious effort. Even the Spartans fluttering about the Infinity on your way to the bridge seemed weary behind their hidden visors as they boarded on and off their own pelicans.

As you trudged through the corridors, you barely acknowledged the salutes given, the blur of faces clicked nothing in your brain.

Reaching the bridge, you were greeted by the familiar hum of machinery and the low murmur of voices as Roland's holographic form materialized before you announcing the Commander to the bridge and Captain Lasky. The debrief finished in the blink of an eye before Lasky approved you for 72 hours of downtime. It was obvious the Spartan was falling asleep between words. And the fact Commander Palmer was still on the field with her Fireteams meant he needed you in a better condition in case something happened. You nodded your thanks to Lasky, the relief at the thought of downtime causing your shoulders to slack. With a stiff salute to both Lasky and Roland, you turned on your heel and made your way down to the assemblage bay. RnR was the only thing on your mind until the ship’s AI decided to upload himself into the armor.

“Blue team was ordered manadorary 72 hours of downtime.” Roland casually brought up through the helmet audio, his tone hinting at something more. You knew what he was doing, the AI had always been privy to the nuances of life aboard the Infinity, including the relationships and dynamics between its crew members.

And Commanders.

And Spartans.

Plus, the fact that he was the only other sentient being on this ship that knew of the relationship between you and the Master Chief himself other than Blue team.

Hell, you don’t even think they told Dr. Halsey, but you haven’t seen any of the IIs for more than a quick wave, so who knows what’s happened in the last three weeks since the whole AWOL thing. Which, you still needed to tease John and others IIs about, who would have ever thought?

Speaking of the IIs, you and John had only crossed each other’s paths once for a few seconds and he had melted your heart with a quick pass of his fingers on your helmet, one you didn’t have the time to mirror before he was climbing into the awaiting pelican. But you did leave him a box of C4s and a single C12 (Lasky wouldn’t approve of anything more) on his next drop that Roland confirmed Blue team would receive, though you were sure Fred enjoyed that more than John.

“Love you, Roland but I’m ready to go ‘die’ for sixteen hours. I’ll see John when I see John, besides he’s probably doing stuff,” There was a brief pause. “Well, whatever IIs do.” And while you appreciated his concern, there was a part of you that hesitated. Everything had still been new, still was new aside from some hand-holding and teaching him about intimacy, like physical affections and a handful of kisses.

“Probably something you wouldn’t expect,” Roland answered with a tinge of amusement before disappearing. What the hell did that mean? Whatever, you were ready to strip, shower, and sleep till Lasky called you for the next mission.

The familiar hiss of pressurized seals echo in the space. Honestly, you weren’t sure how they got the armor off so fast or if you had fallen asleep while the machines worked.

Once free from the confines of your armor, you wasted no time heading for the shower. The warm water cascading over you was a balm to your tired muscles, washing away the grime and weariness of battle. After the shower, you dressed in comfortable civilian clothing, giving a small yawn while closing the locker and heading towards your quarters.

Spartan Town was buzzing with a lot less, well Spartans, than normal, everyone was getting their asses kicked. The crew was pulling doubles if not triple missions, no one wanted to think about their loved ones or if something had happened to them. Maybe that’s why you didn’t mind when Lasky kept giving you the solo missions one after another with an apologetic look, but this was why you were a commander.

The biometric scanner gave a soft ding as it accepted the handprint, sliding the door open with a small ‘whoosh’ to the dark interior of the room. But it was the faint outline on the bed that gave you pause.

This was what that sneaky AI meant.

You knew he knew it was you who entered the room. He didn’t even react like he was too comfortable on your bed. Who could blame him, though? Your bed was comfortable as hell, but you would have never expected to find the Master Chief on it.

Your foot falls silently as you approach the bed, dramatically draping yourself across the Spartan II. “John.”

“[Y/n].” Those beautiful blue eyes flashed open, a hint of amusement lingering in them. Maybe it was the pride speaking, but you had gotten good at reading this man within the last year and a half. You propped your head on your knuckles, your legs resting on his torso.

“John.” There was a sassy in your tone.

”[Y/n],”

“You lookin’ mighty comfortable there, 117.” You teased, a smile tugging on your lips. There was no hiding it, you had missed John these weeks. It was odd having someone so quiet, so polar opposite, be the person you were most comfortable around.

Fate was funny.

John's expression softened as he gazed down at you, a flicker of warmth in his eyes despite his typically reserved demeanor. His hand instinctively found its way to your back, a gentle touch that sent a shiver down your spine.

"You're one to talk, Commander," he replied, his voice low and gravelly. “Kelly had fun with your present, between her and Fred, they didn’t leave any for me. I believe she said and I quote ‘I’m going to kiss [Y/n] next time I see them.’”

You chuckled softly at John's response. "Well, I’ll just have to find a way to make it up to you, won't you?" You teased, rolling onto the unoccupied side of the bed. John's lips curved into a rare smile, a sight that never failed to make your heart flutter as he shifted the blanket, holding it up for you to maneuver under before settling it over your shoulder.

A long sigh escapes as you snuggle into the pillows, his hand tracing soothing patterns on your back as you close your eyes for just a moment to allow yourself to decompress. John never used more than a single pillow, which you often called him a sociopath for, leaving the rest for you. Three was the bare minimum for perfect sleep.

By the time your eyes fluttered back open, John was staring, facing you rather than the ceiling. The bed hadn’t even jostled suggesting that he moved, or maybe you had been too tired to notice. "I missed you," you admitted softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them, then were cut off by a yawn. John's hand paused for a moment, tapping a rhythmic answer before going back to the patterns that were lulling you towards sleep. A faint smile tugged at the corner of your lips, and you knew he had missed you too, the man didn’t need to say it.

[imagination-mess]

You could read these first (Deku), and (Dynamight) before this post for it to make sense since it's different timelines and are connected to each other post-wise. It is not necessary to do so.

_____

After a year had passed, everyone within the hero community wasn’t blind to the famous 3 graduates from U.A. A fanfiction writer and their work was trending online throughout all social media platforms. The fanfiction, with the expectation of changing their names, got published for a limited amount of physical copy without the author's permission. 

The root of it becoming a trending topic was curiosity and, most of all, sadness because a crowd of fans harassed the author to where the writer had to delete their account with a massive collection of fanart over the years. 

There was a panel at the Hero Expo with those same three heroes who were trending the year prior. Instead, it was during the Halloween month. The Expo requested for them to dress up as a special event for the fans. 

Pro Hero Shoto pays a special tribute to the book “The Demon Prince.” He was wearing special effect makeup, showing the demonic form of the curse on the left side of his face up to his ear. He used one of the many arts of Demon Prince that was circulating the media by the same author as a reference for what he wanted.

When asked if the inspiration came from a famous book that everyone knows about, even when the author deleted their accounts. It’s well-known within the fanbase of all three. 

He didn’t lie about it, because he got inspiration from it. He even expressed that he did truly enjoy the book and would still occasionally read it again whenever he could. 

Another fan asked a question related to the author to everyone in the panel, which contained Pro heroes Dynamight, Deku, and Shoto.

“What would be the thing you guys would like to say or ask to the author of this book?”

It was a different response from the heroes, but all were on the same page.

If the author wishes for those books to become an officially published book. They were all willing to fund it if it was a financial issue. They all loved their book individually and would love to read more from them.

The clip of the panel was circulated throughout the media by fans. Some fans were hoping it would reach the author, who deleted their account more than a year ago. 

It did reach. 

Within 72 hours, the author had created a new account and provided evidence that they were, in fact, the author of “The Demon Prince, The Dragon King, The Mage.”

The author answered the hero's questions related to their books. The tweet goes viral and reposted. There are an enormous amount of times when the fans were tagged on the heroes' official accounts for them to see it. 

There was art in chibi figures of the heroes underneath the thread of answers to their questions. The chibis resemble what they were wearing in the panel this weekend at the Hero Expo, including the special effect makeup on Shoto and Dynamight.

[ninelivesastrology]

Hi, everyone! It's Nine. I want to thank you for following, it really does mean a lot to me. I'll be offering my Horary services. Unfortunately, this is limited to the United States for now. I've been studying astrology for 14 years, studying horary for well over a year! It's one of my favorite and most used forms of astrology.

Q&A:

What is Horary?

A horary is a question asked by a querent to an astrologer that casts and interprets the querent's question. Horary is divination like tarot and is always accurate.

What questions can I ask?

I will not be answering questions about health, legal matters, but you are more than welcome to ask questions such as:

Will we be in a relationship?

Will we break up?

How does [a person] feel towards me?

Will I have a [boyfriend, girlfriend, lover] in the next [time frame?]

Should I take this job?

Will I get the job?

Should I go into [your career of choice]?

Should I move to [location]?

Will I move to [location]?

Questions I ask you to stay away from are questions too general and unspecific like, "Will I ever find love?"

Okay, so how do we do this?

I'll be offering my services for $20 per question.

Please DM me if you're going to ask me a question.

I will accept payment, then I will service you. I'm a little busy because I have a baby, but the turn around rate should be 24-72 hours.

The moment I get your question, I will cast.

You will also provide your preferred name and screenshot of payment to me. I will interpret your question for you in the DMs, provide your horary chart and go over it with you. I may have some questions for you in return because it is a mini consultation.

If you need help with a question or want to know if it's okay to ask, just ask me!

I only accept CashApp only for right now and I'll provide you the link to pay me. You are more than welcome to tip me for my services as well, I appreciate it.

This is first come, first serve.

Love you guys!

[inkedwingss]

Does a writer love to write?

Oh, to be a writer! A poet, an artist. What a blessing — or a curse? I said this before, as a joke, that "writers are cursed to write, no matter what" happens or how long it takes between intervals. Writers will write. They might struggle, mostly inside their own heads, but they will write. And they will feel accomplished for doing that.

During my block time, I used to try and try to write, not because I had to, but because I couldn't help but to keep trying and writing the weirdest words, absolutely nonsense shit — until one day, I went back on track. Not writing was never an option. I tried to give up this, many times when I was at a bad place mentally. I felt that I wasn't a writer because I wasn't writing, but this only led me to this previously shared conclusion I keep as a mantra:

"I do not write because I want to be a writer, I write because I am one."

Some people will lick an artist's shoes and treat them as their saviour. This is the same type of people who might think having a degree makes them automatically smart, that every doctor knows what they are doing, and that artists are somehow a superior class of people. I was talking with my beloved @goodluckclove about it today (the main reason I'm writing this), about how being an Artist, or a Writer, is just another job, like being a Teacher, a Baker, a Parent, a CEO or a Janitor. Some artists will even tell you they had no "talent" at all, they just decided to commit and learn. I can draw and I always tell people that it is pure muscle memory. Just practice. Just commit.

But there is also that sparkle, that inspiration, that epiphany, right? That thing that art causes. What makes some works of art shine and hit you with eternal impact? Just practice? This is a long, deep, crazy, boring, infinite debate, but to me the answer is simple.

It's the soul.

That's why AI will never be able to do it. The soul carries memory, information, patterns, feelings, mysteries, and language (unspoken, holy, different languages, that we don't know much about). Some works are technically fantastic but soulless. Some are full of soul, but lack skill. However, the soul is always a part of it, as it is for a doctor when their soul shakes in grief after putting everything they had in for a 72-hour surgery just to lose their patient. Everything goes through the soul. Have you met a soulless doctor? I have.

What about a teacher helping a student to overcome their difficulties? A mother in a 72-hour labour to deliver her baby, with a father who didn't leave her side? Parents that actually take their time and energy to raise conscious, cared for and loved human beings? When a CEO thinks of what is best for the team, and comes up with a brilliant idea, instead of just caring about money? When a janitor makes a place clean and tidy for others, instead of neglecting it? It is not the job itself that is important, but the motivation, the intention, and the heart behind it. That is what makes it valuable.

Our trades will always affect the ones around us. Human nature is deeply connected to the desire to be useful and serve. Not to be stuck at this point forever, but to me, a big reason for so much pain and depression in the modern world is how self-centred our culture pushes us to be. "All about me"! Too much thinking in your head will make you crazy (I would know). But when we are useful, we find peace and rest from ourselves, we connect, and we are in reality, grounded in the present.

Will you love it every time? Nope. Not naturally. But do we have to hate it?

As an artist, poetess, writer, I can tell you that I didn't always love to do it. Sometimes, it was painful. Sometimes, it brings me physical discomfort or it can be disturbing because of my own limitations and issues — the artist himself is in his work (I will die on this hill, because of the soul). But I don't believe and I won't ever advocate for the tortured artist figure, for the "I hate being a poet", although I can't think I ever got these words from any poet.

"I hate making art!" "I hate my kids!" "I hate to live!"

I think it's time to wake up to the levels of desensitisation we have come to. These contemporary times unfold in absolute glorification of evil as if everything painful and ugly was "more artistic". We don't have to avoid hard themes and make it taboo out of them, but we do need a counterbalance. We also need responsibility and honesty when choosing our themes and our artistic or literary approach. And we do need to stop hating things all the time. We need a mature creative world.

It is easier and faster to break than it is to build. It's easier to hurt than to heal. Look around. We have almost nothing left to "break" at this point. I'm in search of beauty again. Out with lanterns. The beauty in you and in me. Not for the glorification of the artist, or of the art itself, but for the Love that keeps me going, that designed me for a particular job, and that I plan to execute in love.

"Let all you do be done in love", it's written. But because I know Love is not only feeling, even when I don't feel like doing it, I will go back into Love, into humility, and do it to the best of my strength. I will do it so that when I have the opportunity to serve someone by it, they feel love. We put our soul into it, and it's not an aesthetic, not a fancy ethereal trend; there is no need for applause. I will do it like that because in that doing is the reward itself, not in the praise or the prize.

All is vanity. Love is the reward.

[belit0]

Hello 😏 can I request primal play? “Run. If I catch you, I fuck you.” With IzuTobi? And if it’s not too much trouble either in a separate post or this same one, the same prompt but with indra

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS, I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH

(this is a combined post, Tobiizu and Indra x reader, separately)

Please, TobiIzu lovers, let me know what u think about this one cause I really liked it🛐👀💕

Tobirama x Izuna

"You have three days. Run, flee, hide. If I catch you, I'll fuck you wherever you are, no matter if there are people present or not." Tobirama's words bounce off every wall of his mind, exhilarating and terrifying in equal parts. Izuna eats his rice leisurely, watching the owner of the tavern he managed to find as a refuge wander back and forth. There is not much work to be done as the place is a proper shithole, but he moves as if he had to attend to 500 people at the same time.

72 hours is a huge advantage, considering the rules include the impossibility for the Senju to use his Hiraishin. If he wants to catch him, he will have to move like a normal ninja, ignoring the possibility of teleporting with his seals.

Izuna is convinced of having done a good job, putting between them at least a good few kilometers of distance and having used every hour of advantage in his favor, without wasting a second to get as far away from him as possible.

It all started as a stupid fight between the two, arguing about the past, particularly that time Izuna almost lost his life. They debated who of the two was faster before the albino developed his stupid technique, both claiming to have been superior to the other.

The decantation of this conflict ended in a terrifying bet, where Tobirama proposes to hunt down the Uchiha before seven days have passed. Giving him three days to escape felt like a joke, but he secretly appreciated it.

As the time limit he had to flee expired, he decided to set up his hideout in a lost village in the middle of nowhere, non-existent on the map, far from any popular road. He spent a good amount of hours covering any kind of trail he might have left, hiding his chakra so as not to be detected.

The Uchiha believes he has done an excellent job, relaxing and enjoying a plate of hot food from the decaying shelter he found. Everything seems to have gone perfectly, and he must stay there until the end of the bet, safe and secure.

On the fourth day, Izuna gets bored and decides to explore, finding a lake where he can take a bath in the open air and soak up sun. Life is sweet and easy without the constant nagging and fighting of his enemy, but damn he misses the bastard. He can even picture how Tobirama would fuck him against the rocks, half-body submerged in water, and his mind flies. He only returns to the shelter to masturbate with that idea in mind, not wanting to dirty the place with his business.

The fifth day is filled with uncertainty, the moment he calculated Tobirama would be nearby. He planted false evidence in the opposite direction, carefully planned footsteps and speed marks strewn along other roads, seeking to throw him off and waste his time. His strategy is flawless, and he figures he has found a way to make him swallow dust.

The Senju will lose.

The sixth day dawns with pure peace and the taste of being close to victory palpable in his mouth, imagining how he will rub in his enemy's face his uselessness for tracking and how bad his sensory skills are.

Tobirama turned out to be much ado about nothing, empty threats.

Izuna goes back to sitting at the same table he always occupies to eat, greeting the old man who runs the business of that destroyed place as if a close friend and devouring the food placed in front of him. He looks out the window as he finishes plate after plate, anxious to go back and laugh in the Senju's face.

He leans back in his chair when he feels like his belly is going to explode, and thinks he's crazy when he hears the old man talking to another customer. Since he arrived, he has never seen another person stop there, not even enter through the door, travelers having no idea of the place's existence.

Their conversation happens behind his back, and he listens intently without turning around. "Always wonderful meals from this place, one could expect nothing less from you." A deep male voice speaks calmly, complimenting the poor old man's services.

The person speaks as if a frequent visitor to the place, and that is what makes Izuna understand the seriousness of the matter. No one knows this site, no one can find it on the map because it literally does not exist, and there are no villages nearby.

"Lord Senju...you make this old man feel special, you are welcome here any time you please."

He has been found.

It takes not even a second for him to get up and run, violently opening the door and quickly moving deeper into the forest. It can't be, there's no way he's found a lost, non-existent spot and not fallen for any of his traps.

There is absolutely no way Tobirama could have read his strategy and discovered his plan so easily, without even announcing himself when finding him. How long has he been there? Was he waiting for Izuna to notice it on his own? Wasn't he intending to act?

He has no time to think as he jumps from branch to branch, suddenly agitated and with the urgent need to flee. Breathing hard only because of the surprise of the situation, he is desperate to get away from the place and make him lose trail of him.

Food rises and falls in his throat as he uses all his strength and runs, focusing on making his legs move to their maximum capacity. He swallows a few times to avoid having to stop to vomit, unable to waste time.

He has to run.

If he really sets his mind to it, he can manage to disappear, mislead him with quick strategies, and just move. Hell, he might even resort to hiding under his brother's skirt if he really wants to win, tempted by the need not to hurt his own ego.

Izuna feels how his enemy follows close behind him, too near for his liking, and hurries even faster. His legs burn from the effort and sweat runs down his forehead, but he has no time to stop. He'll have to struggle for a few hours to outrun him, figure out where to turn and which way to go-

BOOM!

The Uchiha unexpectedly falls to the ground, a sharp blow to the throat that robs all the air from his lungs and doesn't let him breathe. He writhes in the dirt and leaves, clutching his neck and feeling himself suffocating, struggling to get oxygen into his body.

What the actual fuck? Tobirama was behind him, how can this be?

As soon as he manages to open his throat again he violently coughs, almost vomiting (again) in the process, unable to focus his attention on understanding what happened. There were no obstacles in front of him, no high branches, why is he suddenly on the ground?

"I thought you'd be better at this, after the way you filled your mouth talking bullshit." His rival speaks with a teasing tone, mocking and towering his form with arms crossed. He looks at him calmly, smirk adorning the corner of his lips, taunting.

He can't find the strength to reply with sarcasm, still worried about being able to breathe normally, but he'd tell him to fuck off if he could.

A second Senju joins the meeting, a perfect clone that looks at him with the same condescension as the original Tobirama, and the Uchiha understands what his strategy was. The albino hid in the route he assumed Izuna would use as an escape path, years of knowledge gained from war and combat giving him clear information on what his enemy would do once aware of the danger, and sent his copy to make him run straight into him.

He simply had to hide and wait, let him sprint directly towards his arms.

Fucking cheating bastard.

"You said I couldn't use my Hiraishin, but you didn't say anything about other techniques." One of the two Tobiramas towering in front of him flips him over on the ground, pulling down his pants and exposing his ass to the air. The original hovers down on top of him and whispers in his ear "you'll take me twice today, just for being a pain in the ass." He can feel his erection against his bare skin, and the moment the Senju rises up and spits out his hand.

The rest is history.

Indra x Reader

An hour is not enough time when talking about being chased by Indra Otsutsuki himself, but he was kind enough to only walk in order to hunt her down. He will not hurry or rush the pace to capture her, only striding.

(Y/N) runs away as fast as she can, but nothing seems to provide space between her predator and her. She looks back and sees him moving calmly, straight in her direction. It is terrifying and distressing, unable to understand how it is possible that even when she runs as fast as she can, nothing manages to give her an advantage, to get away.

He didn't give her much time, an ever impatient man desperate to get what he wants, and the exhaustion the girl feels from having spent the last 60 minutes rushing is real.  People stare at her passing by quizzically, wondering what she's doing and where she's going in such a hurry.

The Uchiha compound is large, spacious, but she can't find anywhere suitable to hide. Indra knows every nook and cranny of each part of his own territory, completely internalized with the place he built, leaving her with no options.

They have been in this insane game for quite a while, and Indra seems to rejoice every time he seizes her in his hands only to allow her to try running away again.

She simply devotes all her effort to maintaining a high pace, forcing her legs to keep moving, not letting her intensity or guard down. (Y/n) is convinced she will manage to lose him if she keeps up her rhythm, ignoring the fact she had her time to escape, yet Indra caught up with her in a matter of minutes.

He didn't reveal what would happen if he captured her, but the malice with which he implied it would be in her best interest not to fall into his hands filled her with a terrible urgency, desperate to get away, save herself.

When she looks back, Indra is only a few steps away, smirking with anticipation for whatever it is he has in store. It looks as if he might touch her just by stretching out his arm, but he just keeps on making her run.

The horror of being hunted by such a determined and cruel person creates deep emptiness in her stomach, her body giving up and slowing down little by little. She doesn't want to be caught, she doesn't want to face the consequences of it, but her legs scream for a break and her feet can no longer stand the effort.

In tears, she decides to slow down, and feels the exact moment when the Otsutsuki towers behind her, waiting for her to turn and face him. "You have failed." Is all she hears before a hand closes over her mouth and she senses the man's chest against her back, a choked scream on his skin, and pure panic in her veins.

The scene suddenly changes, a moment of movement that seems unreal, vision blurring in her eyes and quickly adjusting again. The setting changes completely, and now she finds herself in a room, facing a bed. "Three times I've allowed you to run away, three times I've captured you. It's now time for me to collect my reward."

She is pushed mercilessly to the mattress, while Indra looks at her with satisfaction and derision as he takes off his robe. "I mentioned running behooves you, yet instead you dismissed my warning as a game. Now, on to the business at hand."

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Akbar Shahid Ahmed at HuffPost:

Abood Okal woke up Monday morning to messages that took him back to the start of the devastating Israel-Hamas war ― specifically to Oct. 13, when Israeli jets dropped flyers in northern Gaza telling its more than 1 million residents to flee and he and his family scrambled to leave their homes on short notice. Okal, his wife and their infant son moved hours away to a house east of Rafah, the town in southern Gaza that has become a refuge for most of the region’s displaced people. They eventually left the Gaza Strip to return to Massachusetts, thanks to their U.S. passports. But Okal’s brother and sister, as well her husband and young children, are stuck at the house where he stayed, and earlier Monday they told him they received new flyers, stating Israel’s demand for Palestinians to flee Rafah, which Israel’s government has threatened for months to invade despite warnings that it would cause a bloodbath.

Okal described familiar “chaos” as he has tried from afar to help his loved ones find safety. “They packed up what they could, and the men went out to look for a spot” to pitch tents, he told HuffPost. “There’s zero spots.… They may spend the night where they are because there is no place to go.” Meanwhile, his sister Eman reported “increased bombardment” in the area, including shelling by tanks that sounded like they were targeting her civilian neighborhood. Some of those sheltering with her took what they could carry and just began walking west, Okal said, which reminded her of Palestinians fleeing their historic homes with no plan for their future amid the creation of the state of Israel in 1948. “Everyone is getting up and leaving because now it’s been a few times of this” throughout the war, he said. “Everyone knows in 48-72 hours, things will turn very grim ― if you haven’t left, that’s a blanket excuse for the Israeli army to say, ‘You can’t blame us for carpet-bombing.’”

Israel put a humanitarian spin on its Monday move to expand its U.S.-backed ground invasion of Gaza to Rafah, which it casts as a military necessity to pursue the Palestinian militant group Hamas in retaliation for its Oct. 7 attack on Israel, which killed 1,200 people. It said its directive to move affected only about 100,000 people in a limited section of Rafah and that it had designated zones where they would be shielded.

Palestinians in Rafah have been ordered to flee in advance of the IOF's ethnic cleansing operations to target the remaining Gazans.

[sweepseven]

So I was looking through your blog and notice your personal favorite final act is Quidam's Banquine. Are there any ones you love beside it? Mine is Luzia's Swing to Swing or La Nouba's Powertrack/Trampoline

YES, oh I have so many beloved finale acts. Here are some more:

Luzia Russian Swing - You are so real for loving this one. I remember being distinctly skeptical when this was announced as the finale act for a Mexican show but it is so effective in its simplicity. The bare stage with the sun disk glowing in the background, the communal feel, the steady build of the music and energy, and the costumes!! I wanna own one of those dresses BAD. Wonderful act.

Totem's finale dance - No one talks about Totem and this isn't really an act, but I think it's just adorable. It's such a fun goodbye and thank you to the cast at the end of the show. Totem was always kind of a weird ride but by the end of it you want to hop onstage and join them.

Volta BMX - RIP to unique Cirque acts because Volta seems to have taken all of 'em to its grave. It's incredibly well designed. Sight lines were taken into very obvious consideration (Echo consider taking fucking note), you get to see the stage put through her paces, energy is fantastic, and it's an excellent physical match for the emotional climax of the show.

O cerceaux - Perfect song, perfect set, perfect showcase of the cast, perfect character work - and because it's O it's all exceptionally grand. When the brides come out on their own hoops, god help me. Would could I be the zebra Le Vieux pecks on the cheek. This is absolutely everything a finale act should be... as long as Cirque lets it. Lately some of the complexity has been dialed back, and I don't yet understand why.

Zed flying trapeze - I really struggled to limit myself to just one flying act, but this is kinda like picking Mystere too because Fiesta got its second life once Zed closed. 🥹 This song gets me fucking going. The rig and net deployment are works of rigging art. I'm psyched up just thinking about it. I could run a marathon rn. I love this act so fucking much. Actually changed my life.

La Nouba powertrack - The only one on this list that can truly touch Quidam banquine. It's not just a great finale act, it's one of the greatest acts of all time. Cirque is packed with thrills no matter what you're seeing, but only a tiny handful of moments make you feel in awe of life itself. This is one of them. La Nouba sometimes feels so strange that it almost seems a wonder the audience can relate to it at all, but this show has a soul, and it is on full and shining display in this finale. The simple set does so much for it - this feels like a real city, filled with real people with real lives. The 90s nostalgia factor feels artistic and honest, not dated or cheesy or pointless. The music is exceptional in every way. Without fail I get goosebumps at the transition into Prince as they come walking out at the very end. On a list of "most important Cirque moments in company history," the bow at 1:23:05 is in the top five.

Now I'm gonna have to think about the Titan for the next 72 hours straight.

[lephamquynhnhu]

Panacea

Chapter 3: The last remnant of epics (First Half)

Dan Feng x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS/ TAGS: The reader has a default name, OOC, mentioned blood, violence. (This is a work of fanfiction, events are not aligned or relevant to the original work)

Word count: ~1k7

Summary: He met you on a drizzling day when hydrangea fully bloomed on its field. Amidst the sea of mild pastel petals, Dan Feng never thought the flowery domain that intertwined your fate was the precise thing withered with you. They said he was a dragon, a hero, a sinner, but never a person with love, hatred, sorrow, or joy like everyone else in this world. However, it was a demi-truth. He committed the cardinal sin because of you.

Note: Do you like...pain?

"The patient has been in a coma for 72 hours from being discovered. Hemoptysis with unknown cause and her condition refuse all drugs even cloudhymn does not meet the treat's purpose ." 

Dawn breaks at the East horizon, shining fragile sunbeams on a nightingale at your window, where eglantine baths in the late-winter breezes. The bird tilts its head toward a man who closes the medical file to sit beside your headboard. Its black eyes shimmer at the sight of Dan Feng slowly stroking your hand to check the pulse in serene silence. He now understands why you wear gloves all the time, to conceal these wrinkles that dedicate the unrecoverable illness. His cloudhymn failed to cure because all your living circuits were damaged, and ADN is no longer to repair. Imbibitor Lunae always knows that mortals are frail and short-lived, including you, but he refuses to give up on you this early. 

Therefore, he gambles his last hope in this brewing dose. A thin stream of smoke from your china cup leisurely dissolves into the air that swirls off his mind as the High Elder found your limp body sprawled onto the garden with blood had already dried and a pale complexion. His immovable spirit wavered for the first time when he realized none of the treatments adapted to your status. Initially, the Long Scion intended to hospitalize you at the Alchemistry Commission, yet a mysterious veil shrouded your identity, causing him to change his mind since Dan Feng attempted to search for records or used medicine as a reference to develop an appropriate method. He spotted a polaroid dyed in time hue and a small glass jar that lay neatly in the last drawer, which led to another surprising event after analyzing those items. 

The stagnated content in that container was an inhibitor serum that does not register in any medical history. As for your polaroid, five people stand at an old ruin, and four of them wear cheerful smiles on their vague faces when a center girl gives two peace signs with her indifferent look. Dan Feng could not tell if she was you since a sandy filter tainted the photo's plane, and most of her broken features were faint. Besides, the line "Memento mori" was written in sea penmanship on the verso, which intrigued his curiosity no less because it means "Remember that you [have to] die" in the Latin language.

However, Imbibitor Lunae takes a respite temporarily from his unbelievable hypothesis to prioritize your current problem. He only simulates 70 percent from the unclear formula in two days since your condition is on edge. Judging at purple veins spread over your face like a spider web indicates that the High Elder's acupuncture is about not sustaining the ebbing circumstance. Just as Dan Feng distraughtly caresses your wilt hand, the convulsion symptom breakthroughs the limit and takes control of your body. Ignoring the heat that overwhelms his mind and burns down his tongue, the Long Scion immediately drinks the brewing herbs to drench you. No words can describe his elated expression when your eyelids flutter open, and all the dreadful symptoms withdraw promptly as the medicine kicks in, restoring your ruddy complexion. 

Winter passed, Spring came, and another circular cycle of linear time started as your pear blossoms halo underneath the silver moonlight. All corners of the Shangri-La immerse into argent moonlit, which creates a luxuriant spectacle as you and Dan Feng sit on the terrace together for flower viewing. The ambiance brims with the sweet aroma of Spring's breath while ethereal petals litter the ground densely, woven like a florid rug. Looking at his space-out figure with the sheen liquid that gleamed beneath those green eyes, you cannot help but inquire about his tangled thoughts. The High Elder merely inhales a long exhalation and shakes his head to gulp down the mild spice of apricot wine. 

"Nothing, I will bottom it up even if it is poisonous." - Unchanging his visage, Dan Feng's chiseled Adam's apple bobbed up and down when he swallowed it, earning your joyful giggle. Undeniably, the High Elder possesses an awful sense of humor.

Fireflies start lighting their green phosphor glims in the epiphyllum bush to attract your concentration. It is rare to see them at this time because fireflies usually appear in the Summer season, and no exception to the Shangri-La. As a result, you want to catch some and contemplate your new moon cactus at a close distance. Imbibitor Lunae still nonchalantly refills his cup with his eyes fixed on your animated silhouette before a dark cloud flies through, obscuring the shining moon. 

Three deafening sounds reverberate through the house that seethes the vicinity as soon as the surroundings drown in darkness. In brief seconds, an unreversed upheaval occurs to change everything upside down. After the noise of his broken cup was the metal collision, and the sound of sharp tool stabbing in the wood followed up. 

"So, is it you? Bai Lin the tyranny?" - Dan Feng is the first person to raise his voice, arousing the sedate blank. Combined with the silken peary light engraving dark and bright contrasting plates on the Long Scion's face, the cyan orbs glow like cat eyes under his shadowy bangs. However, there is no sliver of hostility in his gaze. A shallow cut on his cheekbone gradually emerges in a thin scarlet line when the black cloud leaves, rendering the full moon. 

On the opposite side, a glimpse of the familiar figure materializes from a cyclone made of thousands of heavenly petals who points her sword toward him with a decisive look. Gripping the conceptual blade manifested by winds is Wrath of Mandala, which was once a replica of Three Grand Divine Weapons that is eligible to kill immortals. You eventually discard the camouflage to reveal your true identity and vigilantly stand still.

Even though answering his question is the smoothing melody of your wind chime hanging on the porch, Imbibitor Lunae knows his hypothesis is correct. In millions of possibilities, the Long Scion never expected or believed that he would meet a phantom from the past who attempted to assassinate him like this. In brief moments, you took advantage of the darkness to fly daggers at his position, but Dan Feng neutralized the first one by throwing the cup and summoning his spear to counter the second one. Nevertheless, he failed to completely evade the last dagger due to the poison that affected his body. The High Elder wonders if you orchestrate this scheme from the beginning because this atropin agent originates from Datura Metel. Maybe he was the worm in your garden that you mentioned. Nonetheless, your apricot wine is innocent, but not his ceramic cup. 

"I ask of you, all of our memories are fake?" - Dan Feng exhales as blood cascades to his chin like a tear, feeling the paralysis sensation strike through to depress his central nervous system. 

"Whoever aware of Devourers of abominations...MUST DIE!" 

Avoiding to give him a direct answer, you hiss your carved motto and dash forward with the windy blade. Under the rousing battle of you and Imbibitor Lunae, pear blossom falling frenziedly as a downpour, those petals whirl around you two akin to a mad maelstrom when your masterful swordsmanship keeps tearing the air to pierce his defense. Like a death choreography under the flowery rain, sparklets flicker at your weapons crash underneath the bright moonlit, and the ground gets plowed every time your slashing form sweeps through. Staring into each other fiery eyes, you know the High Elder has reached his limit and is struggling to measure your intangible sword. Even in a weakened state, Dan Feng is still one of the most capable warriors, proving that the title Imbibitor Lunae is not a vainglory. Nevertheless, he cannot swing his spear as usual as the action slows down precisely 0.2 seconds due to the poison. Even with a small amount of poison, that condensed extraction is far enough to work well.

In finality, the balance battle skews to your side when you seize the opportunity to cast out his spear, causing it to fly aloft and implant into the mangled soil afterward. Imbibitor Lunae's irises squeeze to the limit when your sword tip awaits with the moon background.

"Those memories are real, and I rejoice to stay with the person named Dan Feng." - Your mind screams while darting forward, ready to bore a hole in his heart. Upon the force of the unparalleled wind that drives the High Elder's long locks thrown back when receiving a lethal strike with scattering petals disassociate. 

Amidst the poetic colonnade of pear blossom, time seems to stop flowing, and two people stand motionless as a long sword means to saber through the man's body, intending to strip him of permanent life. However, her sword tip barely grazes his chest. 

"Why...why you didn't dodge it when you were capable of?" - The voice nearly inaudible under your breath with the gaze downcast while Imbibitor Lunae remains silent with his solemn expression.

"If you dare not, I will lend you my strength." - Dan Feng abruptly grabs the conceptual weapon to stab it through. Flabbergasting at his decision, you pull back the blade instinctively, making the dripping blood from his hand follow the line to stagnate at your hilt. Finally, you unsummon the sword when you see a scarlet circle blooms on his attire. 

Kneeling on the ground, you blankly stare into the hollow voidness, and so does the High Elder, but he crunches down to pull you into an embrace. Biting your lips to prevent the honest desires from cascading like a waterfall, you want to resume staying by his side, and you also want to continue waking up by his side. 

"Your mission has ended for a long time, Bai Lin." - Dan Feng softly whispers behind and pats your head, his voice soothing the aching heart. It is a mystery why his hugging feels so gentle even after your death match. Although you are soon aware that this moment will come, tears compete to fall out of your eyes corners. An igniting sensation besieges the bridge nose when you helplessly cry on his shoulder. 

"Feng...please kill me or hand me over to the Yaoqing." - You weakly vocalize after a long serenity. Because life is sometimes tragic, we decide to sacrifice for something better. However, there are still shortcomings among his paragon virtues, and stubbornness is honorably one of them. 

"...You will die if you don't."

"A double coffin doesn't sound that bad."

"Fool." 

Ah, life is sometimes tragic.  

[chainofclovers]

(apparently i will never stop having) ted lasso s3 thoughts

It was such an interesting and weird experience to mostly really like TL s3 because it kind of felt like agreeing to go on a vacation with a large group of people and at the end I was like "well there were some ups and downs but that was a good time and I'm going to put together a scrapbook of this special vacation that broke my heart in ways I kind of appreciated" and then many fellow travelers were like "I can't believe I was stupid enough to get tricked to go on this shitty vacation and that we're all having such a bad time." And also it was like that at every checkpoint throughout the travels. I obviously wasn't alone in loving plenty of things about the season; I feel lucky that there are people who feel similarly enough to me that it wasn't totally lonely, and also of course it doesn't truly matter that everyone has different opinions about the same thing. I don't need a bunch of identical opinions to feel like I've earned the right to my own. It's more that there were multiple points where I was genuinely questioning whether my brain was just working totally differently in a way I should actually explore more because of how I felt about the intentions/intentionality and execution behind certain things on the show. Things that if I'd been watching sans fandom experience but with a similar level of obsession, I think I'd have been pretty unphased by and peaceful with. And it made me genuinely sad to feel like so many people I care about were having such a bad time with something that I, for whatever reason, was just having a mostly good time with in ways that I wish I could have transferred over.

Also, I'm clearly still trying to figure out how I feel because I did have an extremely emotional reaction to the show ending, more akin to something deeply earth-shattering happening in my own actual 3d life. There was a 72-ish hour period in which I cried more than I had in probably a year or two combined before that. I cried in the bathroom at a baseball game because baseball >>> sports >>> Ted. I cried about things I wanted to see on my screen that I did not get to see. I cried about the absolute unfairness of a human being only being able to exist in one physical space at a time. I cried about having a community that was centered around a shared interest and the sheer stress that goes into that. All through the summer and even now, although I am no longer crying about Ted per se, I feel like my ability to cry is way more close to the surface than it used to be.

So it's not that I had some kind of super simple reaction to the show that just made me willing to bop along to everything, even if some of my crying was just about mourning the end of something and appreciating it. There are definitely things I'd change if I'd been involved, including:

Zava's presence would have been a far more short-lived dalliance with the team that would allow them to do the same exact stuff in terms of Zava's recruitment allowing the show to more explicitly discuss Rupert's manipulation of both Rebecca and Nate (I loved that Zava initially felt like a device that would allow Rebecca to make those observations with full awareness that this is what was happening to Nate, and I thought her backstory coupled with Nate's scenes with Rupert were super well done)...but it would not have dragged into so many other episodes (and this would have freed up time for one of the main things I felt was missing, which was a more explicit discussion of the legacy of coaching, which Ted and Roy [and also Beard and Trent via the book and eventually Nate] all needed more room to discuss)

Shandy's role in KJPR would have been more explicitly about mentorship and its limitations and would have afforded Keeley more onscreen contemplation time

Instead of backtracking into raging out with jealousy over Keeley in the final episode, Jamie and Roy would have had their fight sooner in the season and would've spent the finale navigating the ambiguities of simply not knowing what was going to happen with all their relationships (which is what we basically get in the montage, and I believe those characters would get there, but even as a non-linear progress enthusiast I found their final scenes together annoying after having really loved most of their scenes together throughout the entire series...I have no trouble believing that Roy and Keeley would likely reunite in the future, or that they might really pull off the throuple, and I didn't personally need to see that happen on my screen, but I did want a more concretely sunk in growth moment for Roy)

One (1) fewer ambiguous facial expression from Michelle Keller, please, mostly because of how much I've hated talking about it

Ted and Roy would have gotten a goodbye(-for-now) that alluded to their overlapping traumas and things they had observed about each other and appreciated in each other

BUT. In general, I felt like the characters were never unrecognizable (including Ted in 3x12, who was not emotionless and dead inside and cruel and would not need to grovel if/when he returns to the UK and I will totally die on that hill), and the various missed opportunities and unfinished business and open-ended trailings off into the future did nothing to ruin the perfect beauty of s1 (which will always be soooo special and great) or the (often more clunky than s3 in my opinion) complications of s2 (which I did love in its way).

I think I'm just basically at my core someone whose favorite show is this one? So I'd rather, when my brain presents the options, take the more generous interpretation of certain things in a way that allows me to engage more fully than I would otherwise, if disappointment was ruling my viewing experience. And I think a kitchen metaphor is the only way I can make sense of this whole experience and why I'm kinda here for it and find post-canon a compelling place to explore.

I think of a cook performing mise en place to get a dish ready to cook. Or a baker getting all their ingredients out on the counter so they can more easily assemble the cookies or whatever. But if you're making more than one thing, which I think Ted Lasso the show was doing (and your mileage may vary on how well that went), you've got your assembled thing in the oven and then you're also doing prep for the next thing and you're loading the dishes in the sink from the old thing and it's kind of a constant state of prep and action and clean-up. And agree with it or not, s3 ends when pretty much every character has a messy kitchen. I absolutely include Ted in this. The montage at the end feels like Ted's attempt to neaten up the kitchens of every person he knows so that he can survive making his choice to take a long physical break from actually being in those kitchens. (Linked post describes how I feel about that scene, which I do think was reality rather than a dream, but highly filtered through one person's consciousness.)

(((Whispers: and the thing that mystifies me the most about fan reactions--other than the literal threats of violence against creators--is the whole "I guess Ted and Rebecca didn't have any meaningful connection after all and the parallels were just accidents or cruel jokes" thing...which is not something I have really read or seen online much recently at all if you're wondering. Because their parallel journeys matter so much! And the main way I can make sense of it all is by feeling like they did have all the ingredients out for the meal that would allow them to have gotten together during the 3 season arc, and because of Ted's very necessary choice they could not do that, and that doesn't mean the ingredients and their particular arrangement are meaningless even if hurts. That is genuinely what I see. And I completely understand why the missed opportunities or lack of acknowledgment of certain parallels is frustrating, but what i don't understand is the belief that the things we actually did get shouldn't have even been there if they weren't gonna kiss. I feel similarly about where Ted and Beard end up, actually, but that may be a post for another time [or the inside of my brain only] because I'm already very self-conscious about how long this is. The "Jason I am in your walls what was the reason for any of this" stuff just makes me feel so. Incredibly. Tired. The reasons were in the show!)))

Ted Lasso's finale attempted to put one last dish in the oven and bake it and bring it out, but just behind the outstretched arms with the neatly presented dish is a kitchen (a whole ensemble's worth of kitchens) in absolute disarray, no matter how much good stuff the characters have learned about mise en place and being a loving person and all that. Because the dishes literally never stop when you're a person, and neither does the hunger. I am not necessarily interested in analyzing how other shows whose endings I've loved or hated handle their character's figurative kitchens, but I do think that the way this show handled it is a big reason why the finale (and whole final season) was so divisive. I would love to remain as happily obsessed with it as I am while figuring out how to feel less intense feelings about how much some of the communal elements of it stress me out! I am an adult! I get how opinions work! I just have lots of feelings, I guess. :/

[canmom]

brain operating notes

the thing with ADHD is that it's super paradoxical. I've spent the last 72 hours or so doing almost nothing but making minute tweaks to this fansub, stuff like hand tracking signs in perspective at 800% zoom. it's the 'hyperfocus', and it can feel like a superpower. only the thing is I have no control over when it kicks in and what it chooses to focus on.

I had work to be done on Friday, work I enjoy and is novel and interesting, but this fansub project just jumped into my brain and took over the wheel and said 'you will not do anything else until this is finished'.

this is why the notion of 'executive function' is useful. I think of it like a unifying thing required to both get myself to do a thing that is not particularly novel or engaging in this moment, and to stop myself doing a thing that engages the hyperfocus because I have to eat or whatever. this feels like a finite resource, that gradually replenishes over time.

of course we're all in metaphor here. I don't actually think there's a finite reserve of some substance that I can use to get me to do things that aren't immediately stimulating. but being equipped with this metaphor lets me think of it like... ok, I will let my brain just do its thing and ride the rollercoaster now, so that I can have the wherewithal to do (difficult but important thing) down the line. or, I've been really pushing myself to do stuff recently, I need to take some time to recover the reserves. how good is this model? i'm not sure. probably not great, but it is a model.

anyway things that trigger hyperfocus are a bit arbitrary but common features tend to be...

novel: a thing that I haven't done before is intrinsically exciting - as long as I have some idea of how to get going. in my previous job I'd find excuses to do stuff like 'animate in Blender' or 'hack the graph drawing tool' just to add a bit of spice to rote tasks. thankfully my current job is full of new exciting things.

a steady drip feed of small successes: a big, daunting task is hard to get started on. something that has a clear avenue for recognisable, steady progress is a lot more manageable. 'write the animation controller' is unclear. 'make another animation' feels like progress, and I know where I'm at with it, so I will tend to choose that one given the option.

urgent: if the deadline is imminent and there really is no other option but to crack on with it, the anxiety gives a force multiplier on executive function. which results in a lot of procrastination leading up to mad last minute crunch. it's a pattern that I hate, not least because it's hard to say how long anything will actually take, but is hard to shake.

social: if it is for the benefit of a friend, or I get to show off a bit, it is way easier to get going with it. is it because I am kinda lonely and any time someone wants to spend time with me it feels like I dare not refuse because who knows when they will again? is it because I love to be praised for doing an impressive thing? idk maybe. however this is double-edged because if I feel I'm making something unimpressive I will be motivated to try and make it bigger and more complex, dragging things out, which might lead to not finishing the thing at all.

you can probably kind of see how computer games are a bit of a cognitohazard. especially open-ended games that don't have a finite built-in endpoint. I've gotten better at managing that now.

there are degrees of hyperfocus. there is the maxed out 'I will not eat or sleep until I finish this' mode. there is also the 'I have a new obsession' mode, which is a bit less intense.

the other thing with hyperfocus is that it is time-limited. at some point you just burn out on it and after that it's really hard to jump back into a thing. the unfinished projects on my hard drive are in most cases things I went nuts over for a few weeks and then dropped like a hot stone. this sucks because making anything worthwhile requires sustained effort over a long period.

I've been trying meds but so far no luck. they've currently got me off the meds taking baseline measurements while they figure out what to try next. though apparently the dose of dexamfetamine they had me on is like... so low that it's not surprising I didn't feel it.

gonna have to ask them about it next time I see them. because right now this whole thing feels like a bit of a mean joke. I'm staying in London for the sake of meds that could help, because it would take upwards of a year to get into another clinic, but what's the point if they're not even giving the meds a real shot?

but if there is any chance I can get working meds, I've got to try for it, because I don't think I'll ever achieve much of anything within the limitations of adhd, at least not without finding some new mechanisms to keep me on track. (though 'if I don't do this I might lose my job/the game won't be as good as it could be' works a bit as an extrinsic motivator)

[formulatrash]

Saw the news about Aston Martin and Honda, remembered the online abuse you mentioned Honda staff receiving after Fernando's comments in the past, immediately said "yikes"

honestly I think it's. well. I have a lot of thoughts and coincidentally my NDA expired in February at last so now I can actually talk about When I Worked For Honda's F1 Division.

2017 was not a good time for Honda. if you'd like some insight into just how staggeringly bad it was being Honda in 2017 then McLaren handily made a documentary series with Amazon called Grand Prix Driver but it might as well have been How Honda Are Responsible For Everything Wrong With Our Car And Also Any Bad Things That Have Ever Happened.

it was the final year of the drawn-out McHonda divorce and my god, the love was gone. not in a like, staying together for the kids way in a like, 'Stoffel is being punished for being perceived as more Honda' way. (Honda did think he was more Honda tbf, not sure why McL were trying to disown him tho)

'GP2 engine' hung over the whole thing like a nightmare. the Honda power unit did have some limitations, no doubt but one of them was the fact it was being developed completely separate to the car.

the monster fire-up (it was like 72 painful hours or something, I don't want to look back and check) is right at the start of the documentary but McLaren conveniently omit the bit where they made a chassis the power unit did not fit into so Honda spent three days playing MGU-K tetris to get it into a position where it wouldn't immediately catch fire.

anyway, without getting too far into the war flashbacks: there was so much damage done to Honda's reputation as a manufacturer even Sauber (then on the brink of financial collapse) wouldn't take the power units as a new factory team deal. the Toro Rosso deal was eleventh hour and then, finally with a team that wasn't actively deciding to sabotage the power unit, progress got made.

so much so that Honda has the best power unit on the current grid. it's much more reliable than Ferrari's, it has better efficiency than Mercedes' - Red Bull are walking it to wins every weekend and making everyone else look like they've got a Mechachrome in the back.

but Honda's time with McLaren has so utterly trashed their reputation that when Red Bull move to the Ford-badged power unit collaboration, Honda are currently staring down the prospect of not having a team to supply. which is ridiculous.

so Aston Martin and by extension, Fernando have to be an option.