#lili worth

[bat-besties]

I think Rose Wilson should get a solo and new swords and her mother's necklace and cigarettes and a one night stand with a girl and a 21st birthday and to kill her father and-

[ontheropesss]

Oooph.

Deathstroke (1991) #48

[sonasi]

Reasons why you should recover 🖤

To see your skin glow under the sun

To let your hair grow long and healthy

To smile & laugh genuinely

To travel the world

To see the clouds turn pink when the sun sets

To see your family and friends smile when they look at you

To smile at yourself in the mirror

To have a happy & healthy family in the future

To taste yummy cooked meals

To dance outside in the rain

To run & play with your pets

To go on dates

To take warm baths in the winter

To have healthy nails to paint

To sit next to a campfire

To drive anywhere you want

To be strong

To feel comfortable in your skin

To cuddle with your pets late at night

To stargaze

To wear fuzzy socks & pj pants on a cold night

To play in the snow

To go swimming under the sun

To jump in a pile of leaves

To go on walks with your pets

To listen to music

To go on road trips

To make someone smile

To hear the words “I love you.”

To know it gets better

To think clearly

To care for your body

To light up a Christmas tree

To go Trick or Treating with friends or family

To celebrate your birthday

To celebrate any holiday

To eat your favorite foods & drink your favorite drinks

To love your life

To love yourself <3

[tangents-from-an-awkward-void]

Silent Salt is so cool love them

[poolpvrty]

Pathetic Lord! Regulus watching Knight! Lily during sword practice........ oh he's doomed

[yukinabushido]

The Campfire Philosophy

Asked Chat GPT for shitpost material and this happened:

[morsmortish]

i’ve missed yapping about bartylily so here’s the thoughts i’ve been thinking lately:

lily evans finally has the earth-shattering realisation at 19 that maybe there’s more to life than colour coding notes and smiling at everyone and pretending to be so goddamn perfect all the time just to please others. she’s much to afraid to do anything about this, but you know what? she privately decides she’s allowed to let loose (in the most minuscule ways possible). she allows herself to maybe start trying to feeling a tad more alive.

for one, she starts shoplifting. just small things: drugstore makeup, a diet coke, a cheap pair of earrings. things she doesn’t need, but the thrill of walking through those glass doors, the anticipation of whether or not the alarms will go off, whether or not the cameras have caught her, whether or not she’s going to be stopped…yeah, the way her heart starts beating really fast, the way she goes hot all over? maybe THAT is what life should be about.

enter barty, who had that same Maybe I Don’t Have To Live Up To Everyone’s Expectations All The Time epiphany as well, but at 17 and to a much greater degree. he DID blow his whole life up- dropped out of school, got tatted and pierced all over, started flaunting his substance abuse, made his father unspeakably ashamed. he’s working as a bored security guard in a chain store drugstore, but the kind that sits in the room at the back with his feet on the desk starting absently at the cameras as he hits his vape and swivels on his chair.

barty being the unnerving genius he is, naturally notices lily’s Little Habit as she stops by the store every few days, and he recognises her through the screen as that one girl in the year above him who wore those cute little pleated skirts and always carried a light blue notepad and hang on didn’t she used to go out with regulus’s boyfriend? barty could swear that someone mentioned she was valedictorian as well at some point, but christ, when did she get so fucking hot?

he doesn’t report her for stealing at least a hundred quid’s word of stuff. of course he doesn’t. he just takes a mental note of every single thing she ‘borrows’ and starts to get excited every day at the prospect of seeing her again, just through a screen. he watches her every single time she comes in, making the effort to actually kick his legs off the table and lean in to the screen to get a better view. he even starts looping the footage of her over and over when she’s not there, and he can’t help but laugh at how terrible she is at shoplifting. he also can’t help but find it cute.

yeah, maybe one day he’ll work up the courage to go speak to her, maybe blurt out a comprehensive list of every item she’s stolen, watch that pretty blush break out across her freckled cheeks. or maybe he’ll be content with sitting back in his fuckass swivel chair, fiddling with his belt loops and resisting the urge to stick his hand down his pants as he watches that goddamn redhead pretend to roam the aisle of fucking boots every day.

[oceans-beloved]

Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️

(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)

[lilyjinss]

Lasbings?

[futurechancerart]

"i'm still praying, hopeless and in vain."

i like butcher vanity a bit (a lot oh my god auuuauaaghfhggh listen to butcher vanity NOW

[mockhoundart]

Smile For Me Flowers!!!

[bat-besties]

Who is Lili? (1)

Rose Wilson’s mother’s backstory is primary revealed in Deathstroke #15 by Marv Wolfman. I’m going to do a close reading of the first half of the comic, with the addition of some panels from Deathstroke #48, also by Marv Wolfman, recapping the events. I’ll follow up with her actions in the current comic timeline in my next post. 

Inherently, Marv Wolfman has crafted a story which relies on Lotus Blossom/Miss Saigon tropes around Asian women, and sexualises a survivor of political and military sexual violence. However, I think that even within the comics canon, it is possible to read the character of Lili differently by engaging directly with the text and putting aside authorial intent. To do this, I am treating Slade as the unreliable narrator he is. I am contrasting his narration with Lili’s on-panel art, dialogue, and actions, as well as a light touch of Cambodian history, to imagine a more rounded and human character. It’s creative criticism, rather than strict analysis. 

Right from the cover, Lili is literally described as “exotic”, and sexualised with a torn dress and unrealistic proportions. She’s also helpless, clinging to a white man in fear and unable to help herself. As if to add salt to the wound, there’s a large, purple flower in the background, illustrating the tropical setting and connoting beauty and fertility. It’s not a lotus blossom - but it’s close enough. 

But the answer to who Lili actually is gets more complex as the comic progresses. 

CW: discussion of sexual assault and sexual imprisonment, discussion of the Khmer Rouge atrocities, discussion of sexist and racist tropes around Asian women

The drawings of Lili continue to be sexualised and orientalist, with her next appearance set in an imagining of an exoticised Cambodian brothel, a world away from the brutal realities of women’s experiences under the Khmer Rouge. 

She introduces herself as “Sweet-Lili��. I’m not sure where this came from - it could be a ‘working’ name of some sort during her imprisonment, or a direct translation of part of her name, or a nickname. Whichever way, “Sweet” evokes the Lotus Blossom tropes of demureness and innocence set against sexual knowledge and experience. It also evokes her being consumable, even edible, for white men. 

She is fluent in English, showing a high level of education and also that her word choices are very deliberate. 

The next thing she says is “these are my girls” - this is where we immediately get introduced to the character’s priorities which will unfold over the next decade. In #48 it is revealed these women were once her servants, and have now been subjected to the same fate as her. Still, she never uses the word servants for them, throughout they are “my girls”. She equalises herself with them, emphasises their youth and innocence when Slade uses the derogatory “whores”. Most of all, despite being captives of the Khmer Rouge, they are hers. While she used to be their employer, in this dire situation where her nobility makes her a target rather than a social superior, she continues to lead them with a sense of responsibility. Now that a rescue party has arrived for only her, she isn’t going to leave her women behind. She steps down the stairs in front of them, opening her arms and making herself the centre of attention - she is relatively confident that Slade and his men are here to rescue them, but as these are women who have lost everything in a brutal civil war, I do think putting herself first is a precaution. 

When she greets Slade, it is by putting her hand on his chest in a flirtatious manner, something which the other women mirror with his soldiers.

This is to show her sexualised nature, and suggest gratitude towards Slade which will develop into romance. However, as someone who has survived the (implied) killing of her family through her captivity in a brothel, this could be read as a deliberate action she takes to both flatter Slade, and encourage her women (who are not meant to be saved at this point!) to use the attractions of the American soldiers to help rescue them.

She interacts with Slade as a fellow leader, and he asks if she is the princess.

 Slade calling Lili a princess is not his fault at first, it has been common historically for English translators to simplify the complex Cambodian royal titles into Prince/Princess even for very distant relations to the king, like Lili. (Without knowing her grandmother and mother’s titles I can’t work out what her exact title would be, or if she is entitled to one at all. Please tell me if you can work it out!)

She corrects him very politely, affirming she is royal and his target (“my father’s father was third brother to the king”), but not actually a princess. Despite this, both Slade’s narration at the very beginning of the flashback and throughout his recollections of her in #48, he uses the term “princess”. Once was a mistake, but his continual use, and later adaption of the term into an endearment for Rose, seems to replace the realities of Khmer Rouge’s political purges of the royal family with Slade’s Orientalist fantasy. 

However she corrects Slade with the brilliant line “But I am princess only to my girls” [sic], which elides her position from one of blood to one of responsibility. He has been sent to save her because she’s a royal, but she is extending her own protection over these common women. While missing out “a” could be a translation error, given how good Lili’s English has been so far I doubt it. Instead, I think she is transforming princess from a noun into a more active term; she is a princess “to” them, and being a princess to women is an active choice and responsibility. 

She quickly follows this with “You will save me now, yes?” which is just such a bold line in which she takes control of her own rescue. 

And surely - without even thinking about it, the Americans save her fellow captives as well. She’s achieved her goal without Slade even realising what she was doing.

He does observe her leadership as they escape, “Sweet-Lili kept them in line”, and the women are able to cook “incredible meals” from the surrounding nature, showing how efficient and well-organised the women are, in large part due to Lili. Slade says he doesn’t think he “ever had better”. 

And then we have the key key line, something which would be so easy to miss. “Could say the same for the nights”. 

The American heroes, the oh so noble saviours, are sleeping with the women they were sent to rescue from sexual slavery. Not only that, but it’s viewed as idyllic and part of their reward. I think that Slade does deep-down know this was wrong, as when he recaps the story in #48 after Lili’s death he claims they “trekked through the night and slept during the day”. This doesn’t align with this quote, or the fact that the women cook during the day, and all of the panels of the party walking and fighting in #15 are in daylight. This could be a continuity error, but I want to be consistent and not assume authorial intent.  

The women are so far from being safe from male sexual violence. Without guns, they can’t run into the jungle alone, so they have to stay with the “rescue” party and do what they want. What is an exoticised memory for Slade is any woman’s nightmare - including for Lili. 

The party comes across the Khmer Rouge enslaving and murdering villagers, and sadly Lili is unsurprised by these conditions, telling Slade the exact diet of such prisoners. As Lili hasn’t experienced these conditions herself, I think this shows how she’s tried to stay updated on the suffering of her people, despite the brutal repression of information and killings of journalists. She feels deeply for every person suffering during the civil war. While she’s empathetic but unfortunately has to be practical - she doesn’t ask Slade to try to save these villagers. 

However, when an American soldier cries out at the murder, their cover is blown and all the Americans other than Slade and the women other than Lili are murdered. Slade fights the most brutally of anyone, killing all the Khmer Rouge and trying to protect the women before succumbing to his wounds. 

After years living alongside these women and protecting each and every one through their imprisonment, Lili watches them all be killed in front of her, by the very group which tortured and terrorised them. It’s horrific. These are the only people she has left from her old life, and they’re gone. 

She protects Slade, who comes down with a fever, including from the Khmer Rouge - we are never shown her fights, because Slade was not conscious for that. This is a much-needed reminder that Lili is only shown from his perspective. 

Over time, the two talk and share personal information, growing closer. I do think that she was honest with Slade about herself, more so than she could be with other people after the experience was over. She doesn’t have anything left to lose, is an ambush away from being killed, and Slade is a mercenary who cannot be shocked by anything she tells him. They’re going through a huge trauma together, and it forges a bond. He describes their relationship as “formal”, a strangely nice adjective from Slade which shows his respect for her (as much as Slade respects any women), and the fact that he did not make any advances before Lili did.

So Lili definitely still has some walls up.

One thing that never comes up is that Lili has her grandmother’s necklace on her the whole time. In Deathstroke #46 Rose runs to get it after Lili is murdered in the US, wanting her mother to be buried with it as it’s the only thing she has left of her family, so it’s clearly very important to her and was taken with her from Cambodia personally.

Now, it’s entirely possible that Slade does know about it but it isn’t important enough to include in the story. But it never appears on panel, nor does he ever mention her grandmother. I think it’s likely she kept it hidden, even as she dressed and undressed in front of him. It isn’t monetarily valuable, so she can’t have been scared of Slade stealing it. 

If it is an amulet, her grandmother would have personally had a Buddhist priest bless it for Lili, and this 1970 article shows how important this traditional item became during the war. It’s the most sentimental item she has - and she never shares that part of herself.

The two share a moonlight kiss, after an in-depth discussion “about the war, about her, even about me [Slade]”. She is shown to be the one leaning in, and I do think that she genuinely wanted to kiss Slade and share that moment with him. Interestingly, this kiss is only revealed in #48, when Slade feels more sentimental as she has just been killed. It does not factor into his initial recollection, showing how his focus is on sexual, not romantic, memories of Lili, distorting his view of her. We will never know what she said “about her[self]” to this American mercenary who saves her women and sleeps with them, kills for money and for protection, and could be the last person she ever knows. 

This is where we get to the most complex part of the recollection - the two sleeping together. 

Unsurprisingly, I’m going to reject Slade’s reading of this as a natural development of their closeness which was romantic and spontaneous. However, I do think that Lili does consent, and would not have maintained a future sexual relationship and friendship with him if she had not. 

One reading, building on what I’ve said above, is that Lili has been through these terrible traumas, is at risk of death or recapture, and has found a surprisingly sympathetic companion in Slade. As an unmarried Cambodian royal woman in the 70s, she would have been expected to be a virgin, and likely did not have much sexual experience before being subjected to repeated rape as a captive. The most positive reading of her relationship with Slade would be a reclamation of her own body and sexuality in a pursuit of fleeting joy in the most dire circumstances. 

Alternatively, and in my view more likely, you can read Lili as engaging in self-protection. She is unlikely to be able to get to Thailand as a lone woman, even with Slade’s gun. Slade has already almost died, he could easily decide the reward isn’t worth the risk and abandon her, or sell her back to the Khmer Rouge. She can’t know what he’ll do, and therefore she maximises her chances of being rescued by having this sexual relationship, the same way she survived in the brothel. Either she initiates proactively, or he does, and she is in no position to safely reject him. 

I don’t think this is antithetical to her conversations with Slade and continued relationship with him post-war. People are complicated, and ultimately Slade does save her, and would have saved her women, as well as being the only person who has shared her specific war trauma and heard her feelings at the time. 

[It’s really important to note here that, textually, none of these arguments hold true. In the text of the comic, Lili’s body becomes a reward for the white American rescuing her, and why she would desire him is not a question that occurs to Marv Wolfman.]

“It took us another two weeks to make it into Thailand. Wish it’d took two years” is up there with the most heinous things that Slade has ever said. 

It also shows that she didn’t keep a relationship with him the moment she got to Thailand and safety. Whether she was escaping him to freedom, or wanted to leave the unhealthy coping mechanism of him in the jungle, she did leave in the immediate aftermath of her rescue. Slade lets her, something which must have been a concern in the back of her mind after her previous imprisonment. 

I’m going to go into Lili’s life post-Cambodia in my next post, covering themes including tropes around Asian women as sex workers, her success and wealth, and her loving relationship with Rose. 

Here are some sources on representation and trope history I drew on to write this:

Before that, here's a post about her life between Cambodia and America and the Dragon Lady trope

https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2021/03/26/asian-women-hollywood-portrayals/ 

http://unveilingthesilverscreen.digital.brynmawr.edu/tropes/lotus-blossom/

https://www.hercampus.com/school/american/the-dragon-lady-the-lotus-blossom-and-the-robot-archetypes-of-asian-women-in-western-media/ 

https://www.nytimes.com/1970/09/09/archives/amulets-are-a-vital-part-of-a-cambodian-soldiers-equipment.html

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/women-speak-out-over-khmer-rouge-sexual-violence/j5wwh30x1 

https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2019/11/feature-survivors-of-sexual-violence-in-cambodia-speak-out  

[mariethearistocat]

Maybe you don't need medication, maybe you just need to let yourself feel. Maybe you don't need therapy, maybe you just need to take a walk in the park and feel the sun. Maybe you don't need a therapist, maybe you just need a friend.

Maybe you are not fucked up, maybe you are only human.

[sonasi]

productive & mindful journal prompts for self care ｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧ ｡

when do you feel most like yourself?

what is something you wish others knew about you?

what thoughts or worries are taking up mental space?

what activities clear your mind?

how do you feel when you are complimented?

what aspects of myself do I need to show more love?

how can I love my body more?

what is draining my energy?

what can I do to be my highest self? 

what are my intentions and goals for the month?

who am I most grateful for in my life?

how can I show more gratitude in my life? 

what is one commitment I can make and stick to this week?

what are my goals for the day/month/year?

what can’t I live without? 

what are some ways I can show more love to others in my life? 

what is most therapeutic for me? 

do I prefer more alone time or more social time? 

what is one bad habit I can replace with a good habit? 

what are some ways I can reduce screen time? 

are the people in my life positive influences?

am I living in alignment with my values and priorities?

how can I get out of my comfort zone?

what makes you feel the most confident and empowered?

what are your favorite qualities in a person? 

what is one thing I can do to align myself with my values and priorities?

what are the little things in my life I appreciate the most? 

what qualities do you love the most about yourself?

Love you all 𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒  

[persephoneprice]

anyway if u need someone to be kind to u lmk. i will literally tell u every single thing i love abt u.

[chemtrailactivist]

as somebody who has delt with living in a horders house, drug addicted parents, and financial problems seeing lily treat mikaila’s problems as at worst an inconvenience for her and at best something lily can just bring up to get sympathy points for herself is just sad.