#like... isn't the point of making those decisions to experience the consequences....?

[invinciblerodent]

one part of BG3 that I appreciate a lot (and feel like I don't see mentioned quite enough) is just how many different ways there are for the companions specifically to break up with the player, or for them to openly say that though they love the PC, they either cannot abide by whatever it is they're doing/have done, or that they know that there isn't really a chance of a happily ever after for them.

the characters having their own morals, and actual, strict boundaries that are immutable and which they abide by, that's always really nice to see, and I feel like it's not quite as common as I'd like it to be.

like, sometimes I feel like in certain big or popular games, the players are kind of... coddled, in a way? either by not being given the option to do heinous shit (and thus there not being a need for them to experience consequences), or by negative consequences to actions being written in a way that makes them inconsequential, or avoidable altogether. I like that this time, there are things for which that's simply not the case.

every time I see someone be like "I did this thing that this character told me they hated, and they DUMPED me for it! that's so stupid!" I always just feel glad that the characters were written mostly to stand up for themselves, even if it's against the player. that's just always really nice.

[ae-neon]

Going from throne of glass to crown of midnight and realising sjm is not gonna let Celaena face the consequences of her own decisions

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF PUTTING HERSELF IN THIS POSITION TO SERVE THE MAN WHO MURDERED HER FAMILY

AND DO HIS DIRTY WORK IN THE CITY SHE GREW UP IN, ON THE PATH OF PEOPLE SHE ONCE KNEW?????

IF SHES BEEN PLAYING HIM FROM THE START???

If the main character isn't afraid of the villain, why should the reader be?

sure she almost pisses herself in his presence but clearly she doesn't actually think he'll do anything because she's not even done one single mission for him??

I hate hate hate that sjm introduces these characters as complex and morally gray and then cannot have them do things that are bad with no narrative excuses or greater good justification

Celaena should have killed those nobles because it's her job. Because she prioritises her own freedom above their lives. Above whatever the king has planned

THEN you introduce Archer Finn as the next target and have her hesitate and change tactics

Celaena is an assassin. LET HER KILL PEOPLE

I had to skip the assassin's blade novella because from the very first story she's out here doing the most to free slaves. And it's not the action itself. It's sjms vile writing where Celaena doesn't actually give a fuck about the slaves but as the main character, she must be a white saviour so she'll do this dangerous stupid thing that benefits her or changes the world in no way

And it's not even character development either, Celaena from AB is the same as tog and so far the same in com. She's flat. Perfect except for her allowed flaws. Unchanged by her experiences

Again, you could have easily done this in a different way. A better way. A way that is cohesive with the world and doesn't have the main character be the only moving piece in the world

Have it be that the pirate king is the one smuggling people out of slavery and it's fucking with nobles money so Celaena is sent to kill him. but something happens, maybe someone there is from Terrasen, and without doing a 180 we see an understandable reason she can't keep her cold assassin persona going. She refuses to do her job, leading to her being betrayed or something idk I didn't finish the story

see how easily that then plays into the beginning of tog and makes her even more sympathetic and real without sacrificing the character's flawed morals? Or making her the only active character in the story? Almost like the world is real and exists outside of her?

The Celaena from the end of tog, the one who gave up Dorian because her life and freedom meant more than kissing princes, would have slit those nobles throats.

Mind you she's not even from Ardalan, why does she care enough about these people to risk her life and freedom. If even one of those nobles she let fake their death and escape, tried to get revenge on the king for sending his assassin, she would be hanged at best. How does she know those nobles weren't involved in or benefitted from the fall of Terrasen or slavery in general?? Why are we pretending assassins only kill "bad" people??

She should keep her head down and let Ardalan cannibalise itself until she's hit with a personal connection then have her risk the king's wrath not just for the "greater good", the hope of rebellion but also for herself - for the name Celaena and the life she lived under it

SIGHHHH

annyyyyyways

[balioc]

Oh, boy! It's Education Theory o'Clock again!

...I have a lot of thoughts on this topic. At some point, when I'm less busy and tired, I should probably try to write them up. Natively, I'm one of the school-is-a-nightmare-prison people, like so many others in this little discourse-sphere -- but I'm married to a middle school teacher, so I regularly encounter both the good arguments from the other side and the facts on the ground, and those things have altered my perspective somewhat.

But I am, in fact, busy and tired. So for now I'll just content myself with saying:

School is an institution that serves many, many, many purposes at the same time. A lot of those purposes are load-bearingly important. (A couple of years ago, I wrote this about college, and...it's double-plus true for primary and secondary schools.) If you don't try to account for all of that stuff in your theory of What School Is and How School Works, you will generate incoherent garbage thoughts. If you have a New Concept for school entailing top-down design that is optimized for a single function (like "increasing test scores" or "causing kids to love learning" or whatever), you'd better have a plan for how you're going to do all the other important things that schools do. And even if you think that some of those things aren't actually important or necessary, you'd better have a plan for dealing with all the people who disagree. Because...

-----

...school, as it exists today, is an inherently political institution. Both in the "soft" sense that everyone has strong opinions about what it's supposed to do and how it's supposed to work, and in the "hard" sense that it is actually controlled by democratically-accountable governments. (This is double-plus true in the US, where it is controlled by local governments, and therefore doesn't even have the protective insulation of a massive bureaucracy.) Everything about the way schools work is a compromise brokered amongst ideologues and self-dealers. Everything about the way schools work involves a lot of decision-makers trying not to get yelled at by the yelliest people around. If you're looking for elegant purpose-driven top-down design, you won't find it. You could probably make a case that any elegant purpose-driven top-down design would be better than the thing we actually have, but getting there would require finding a way to remove the political element.

-----

Most importantly: public schools are (1) compulsory, (2) universal, and (3) for children. [People who are legally children, anyway, whether or not they are actual children in whatever sense matters to you.]

This means that they cannot let students leave, and they have to keep control of all the students that they aren't allowing to leave.

In the most literal not-a-judgment-but-a-fact sense, they are indeed prisons. They are coercively keeping people inside. They have to do that thing, as per their most fundamental mandate within the current system. The alternatives involve letting kids run around unsupervised, and/or failing to give some kids even the most cursory kind of education, and those things are absolute non-starters under present conditions.

All the normal institutions-for-adults operate on the principle of -- If you really don't want to be here, you can leave, and deal with whatever consequences there may be for leaving. This is not an option for schools, and that fact accounts for...everything.

Classroom structure is built around the necessity of keeping the most-hostile, least-engaged student in the class present and supervised, and then trying to prevent him from disrupting things for everyone else. Because the obvious solution that any other institution would use -- "just cut him loose, he doesn't want to be here and we don't want him here" -- isn't available.

(I once talked to my wife about the rationed bathroom access thing, which is one of the most flagrant nightmare-prison aspects of the school experience. Her response was, "If you let kids use the bathroom whenever they want, as much as they want, then you don't have mandatory universal education anymore. Some of them will never return to the classroom, because they don't want to be there." Which is...obviously true.)

So you have something that replicates many of the features of prison, because it has to accomplish the same basic tasks that prison accomplishes. Yay, Foucault.

[sha-lyuzar]

Loghain Mac Tir is my comfort character. It is not often a pleasant thing to admit, and my reasons are complex, and personal, but fundamentally what makes me so attached to him is how human he is. That kind of depth and complexity is what made me fall in love with Dragon Age in the first place. He’s not just a “noble hero” or an “evil villain,” but a fully realized person who embodies good and evil, and everything inbetween, who is shaped by his past and his deeply personal convictions, his flaws, his fears, his fierce love for Ferelden, and, most importantly his tragic mistakes, that lost him everything, and that is what makes him feel so real to me.

He doesn’t have an easy narrative arc. He’s not driven by simple greed, cruelty, or even by misguided idealism. He’s a survivor with wounds that never fully healed, and those wounds shape the way he sees the world and interprets threats. Every heinous decision and tragic mistake is a direct consequence of his loyalty to Ferelden and Maric, and his willingness to bear the burden of horrific choice. He has been bleeding for his cause since he was a child, and it has turned him into the same kind of cruel and cold tyrant He fought against in the first place, and watching him struggle to hold true to his values, and eventually abandon them, as his path grows darker and more isolating, is this profoundly tragic thing that to me is infinitely more compelling than a classic Hero's Journey.

What Loghain did in the Alienage is deeply disturbing and inexcusable. Using Tevinter slavers to control and exploit the elves is one of the darkest points in his character arc. It’s a choice that reveals just how far he’s willing to go to maintain control and secure his idea of Ferelden’s “independence,” even at the cost of his own morality, so He lets in a foreign power to abduct and subjugate the citizens he claims to be protecting. It unveils the extremes of his desperation and paranoia, because in his mind, he’s protecting Ferelden, but in reality, he’s perpetrating the very kind of oppression he once fought against. It is dark, it is horrific, it is unforgiveable, and that is the whole point.

He has to confront the devastation he’s caused, and he can’t simply brush it aside as a “necessary evil.”. If he joins the Grey Wardens, his path involves acknowledging these grave mistakes, taking responsibility, and finding a way to live with the guilt. There is no reconciliation for his actions, his fear and trauma may explain but never excuse what he did. There is no easy way out. Loghain is stained with the blood he shed forever. He has to live with having failed, with the compounded weight of his actions and regrets, and, if he joins the Wardens, he isn't even granted the mercy of a quick and clean death, and instead is exiled from the country he poured everything he had into.

And doesn't this resonate? Does this not perfectly reflect the difficult reality of being human? How people can be fiercely protective, deeply flawed, and driven by complicated motivations, and that these qualities make them more worthy of understanding, not less? Loghain’s arc speaks to me on such a deep and personal level, especially as someone who has been battling the demons of trauma. His story is a vivid reminder that trauma doesn’t always make us better people, but exacerbates our struggles and can lead us down dark paths. i see parts of my own struggles in Loghain, i understand his pain, his fear, the choices his past self would loathe him for, and the gnawing self-hate, regret and grief.

Trauma twists our intentions like that. Instead of guiding us toward empathy and understanding, it clouds our judgment, and pushes us to make decisions we later regret, and become versions of ourselves we hate. My reality of trauma has not been this character building experience, the way it is often depicted in media, but something harrowing and life-altering, that still poisons me, even years later. But seeing a character lose all tether to himself and get lost in his demons is a tale worth telling, and an experience that still grips me, even 15 years after playing DA:O for the first time. Seeing Loghain live through rock bottom in DA:O, and then, ten years later in DA:I find purpose and whatever semblance of peace is possible in his circumstance, is something that gives me comfort. It is deeply personal, and i keep this unforgiveable and irredeemable, this grief-stricken and regret-filled man, this complicated and multifaceted character deep in my heart.

There are spoilers for datv under the cut. Major spoilers about the end of the game. If you have not played through yet, please don't be tempted to look. i thought i would be fine with spoilers, but i am not. You have been warned.

All of this is rendered moot by the ending of datv. By a throwaway line. i have been spoilered by this online, and have not reached this point in the game myself, yet, but it leaves me feeling a lot of ways, and it hits me hard. It feels like everything i found relatable in his struggle, everything that made him so human, is suddenly taken away. If his actions weren’t truly his own, and he was being puppeteered by old gods magic, then what does that mean for the weight of his choices? It feels like a betrayal of everything that made up his character, a character who has grappled with his trauma and made terrible choices, yes, but ones that were driven by his own will and conviction, always.

The complexity of his journey, the depth of his remorse, and the struggle for a new purpose, all become overshadowed by this new twist. It threatens to erase the beautiful, painful, and human truth of what it means to confront one’s demons and seek understanding in the aftermath of suffering, what it means to reassess and take accountability for your actions and do the hard, dirty, and thankless work of bettering the irredeemable, bit by bit, piece by piece, so that one day you may draw a breath and feel just a bit of that weight eased.

But no, he was just a victim all along. He has no agency, his self-actualisation is lost on him, he was never responsible for himself. It feels like one of Dragon Age's most complex characters has been flattened down into cardboard.

[winterr77]

ੈ✩ Habits for your academic life

Below are some habits and rules to keep in mind throughout your studies and some tips that will elevate your learning experiences.

☆ Setting boundaries and learning to say no

It is always easy to say yes and join every social event that one is invited to, however its crucial to consider your own personal life and the consequences of your decisions. Hanging out with friends is a needed event as a social creature, however it's better to exercise caution and know when to say "no" to focus on your own goals and dreams. Don't get pulled into the pace of others and focus on finding a routine and schedule that works for your own benefit.

☆ Being comfortable with your own company

You will find in uni that there are lots of times that you will spend alone, and maybe feel a little anxious that you're the only person who isn't constantly in the company of someone everyday like you maybe were in high school. However, realise that even the time to yourself is a time of value, and treasure those moments to focus and work on your own goals. It is easier to get lost and lose sight of your ambitions when with others who don't have the same aspirations as yourself. Use your own time to sit down and work out what you want to achieve and quietly put in the effort to win.

☆ Never being scared to ask questions

It can be quite daunting to ask questions in lectures, so I prefer to ask my questions during times that aren't forced into a short time interval, such as tutorials, office hours, and other forms of learning support that your university/college provides. This way there is no rush to answer my questions and take my time in working through concepts and ideas. Ask questions based on your own conclusions, questions that challenge current rules and perspectives. Think deeper into your lessons and seek to make use of every bit of information.

☆ Being curious

This is very much related to the point above, that being that personal interest really aids with the brains memory retention. The more things you approach with an enthusiastic attitude, the easier it is for your brain to remember and categorise. Having curiosity, even if it is forced, gives a great advantage where you seek to interconnect the information you learn with other data, and grow more networks of neurons that allows your brain to stay healthy and active.

☆ Initiating contact

Struggling with a theory or assignment? Great, it shows that you are actively trying to understand a concept and working your brain muscles. Now the best way to comprehend or complete what you are struggling with is to access support materials. Still difficult? Reach out. Your teachers, professors, tutors are all there for your benefit. Use them intelligently and squeeze every drop of assistance and support from them while they are still available to you.

☆Watching educational content to aid your studies

You can never lose from learning a bit more every day. However make sure to fact check and find your information from trusted and quality sources. In general, it's always a win to be educated in various topics from health, sciences, arts, humanities and more to gain a better understanding of ourselves, our world, and humanity.

For example, I watched a ted talk today, and here is my conclusions from my notes:

ੈ✩TedX: Why Reading Matters by Rita Carter

Summary:

☆Your brain needs a workout as much as your body. And reading fiction seems to be one of the best workouts you can get. (I recommend quality fiction, with that being classic literature because it genuinely exercises your mind with its intricate language techniques and diverse vocabulary)

☆Not only is it good for you, but it's also good for society as a whole because the brain is like a muscle: the more you force yourself through books to take other people's perspectives, to sympathise, to empathise with other people, the more empathetic a society we will have.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

good luck lovelies

~winter

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

[gz-missfit]

God the more I rewatch Etoiles fight the more it hurts. Hell the more I watch any parent fight their egg it hurts, from Max bawling over Trump to Quackity being basically insta killed by Tilin and Roiers anger as fake Bobby didn't attack them while Jaiden was filled with conflicting delusional happiness.

But especially this Etoiles fight yesterday puts the whole dinner into a much bigger perspective and I'd like to think that that's the reason why they put Phil in the fight with Etoiles.

They wanted him to hesitate.

They wanted Phil to be the burden during that fight because those things carry the names of his children, the children he'd burn the world down for. But they underestimated how strict Phil is with his trust and decision making to the point that even in egg form he treated them like they were monsters instead of his children.

Phil's special because while yes during Etoiles fight the code got better at adapting to an egg its still the same concept. He still had definite proof that that wasn't her but he still hesitated.

And I wanna go into the why of that, Phil's a hard-core player through and through and you will not get that out of his playstyle, you can see it on every multi-player server he's been on in the past because thats just how he plays the game. And as a hard-core player he probably has the most interesting relationship to mortality and is someone who can understand the eggs on a whole different level. But this means he's also INCREDIBLY aware of how much weight decision making carries and how even a single decision could decide over him staying alive or dying, he's used to that, it doesn't bother him anymore. That's why Phil is also someone who's very confident in his decisions, when he says he won't do or go to something because he knows the outcome then he means that and not even curiosity will get the better of him if he sees any form of danger or risk. If he tells Tallulah or Chayanne an instruction he expects them to follow it to a T because he gives those for good reasons each time (and both of his kids know that his instructions are teachings more than they are just him telling them to do something). And this confidence in his own decisions is why he fought those codes so relentlessly at the dinner, I'm convinced even if he hadn't gone back to get a picture of his kids he still would've fought these codes the same way. He trusts his experience and he trusts that he'll be able to deal with the consequences of his own decisions no matter if the outcome is good or bad. There's a reason why other players usually come to him for advice or when he spends time with someone he naturally falls into a teaching role, it's because he knows so much because he's had to know it all to survive in a world where death is inevitable.

Now why does that differ him from Etoiles? Well Him and Etoiles are good fighter's in their own ways. There's no doubt about that. But Etoiles is more upfront, he's smart during pvp and incredibly knowledgeable about statistics and strategy but ironically enough he still struggles to trust in his own words and decisions. He's someone who's quickly plagued by regret or doubts, it's why he praises Bad and Phil so much. Because both of them are incredibly headstrong and confident in their decisions just due to sheer experience. Etoiles just isn't even if his experience is just as good. And you can see this hesitancy even during the dinner fight, he didn't want to fight the codes until they hit him first. And it was Phil screaming to kill those things that made him set on actually attacking. Even when he got singled out later on and had a fake Tallulah follow him, he didn't attack until Phil confirmed Tallulah was safe with him. Etoiles trusts Bads and Phil's words a lot and holds them both in high regards when it comes to their opinions and decisions because he knows how much sheer experience those 2 carry. But during that fight yesterday he was alone, each of his actions couldn't be reassured because he was fighting alone and the actual Pomme wasn't there. He was terrified of making a wrong decision, even with Pierre reassuring him that it wasn't Pomme Etoiles couldn't bring himself to trust his own decision, even with their secret code not working Etoiles couldn't trust himself, even with seeing it carry the codes swords he couldn't trust himself. Even after the fight was over, after he saw Pommes bed with her sleeping tightly in it. He couldn't trust himself. He didn't feel like a winner to himself because his mind went into a spiral about of his decision was right or not, his mind screamed at him because he was sure he had fucked up royally and that's what makes it so interesting. Because Etoiles is a good fighter! And I'm pretty sure with equal gear he'd beat the 2 he holds in high regards to fighting skill a good amount. But he doesn't hold his own decision making very high, he's happy to be as help as a weapon that when he has to make a call he hesitates. And it didn't help that he had his daughters face stare at him while he had to make that important decision because while Phil loves his children just as much as Etoiles does, Phil never had to earn to be trusted with them. Phil's always been someone people trusted with the eggs while Etoiles had to earn his time with Pomme in promising he'll never let her die on his watch and will be careful beyond believe while he's with her.

It shows in the confidence of their decisions, and it's fascinating how much more it shows during these high tension moments. Etoiles is someone who struggles so much with the knowledge of failure and its what made his fight hurt so much more, because he was convinced he'd fucked up bad even after he saw her bed.

Just some food for thought about our codebreakers

[andy-wm]

I have thoughts about the Tiktok JK deleted

<<I realise its a few days ago now and you might be wondering 'what tiktok?' but I've been writing in snatches when I have a few minutes so it took a while. Anyway, here it is...>>

A few posts I've read have suggested JK did the silly>sexy Tiktok challenge backwards. That he did sexy>silly instead. That he was being random and funny.

I disagree.

What he did was unexpected, a little left of centre, and for the people who can read subtext, not random at all but very very clever.

I'll tell you why, (It may not be what you think) but first I need to vent about two things:

1. Give the man some credit. He knows what he's doing.

There are some who love JK but who see him as a naive innocent. He is not. He isn't a child or a himbo.

Saying he did the challenge just because it's trending, and he reversed the order of the content for a bit of a joke, is insulting to him as an artist. It would suggest he has no forethought or understanding of himself or his (global) audience, and his decisions are made on impulse with no idea of the consequences.

He's very intelligent and has plenty of experience with digital media and creating content. Besides being involved in producing complex visual narratives as part of BTS for the last ten years, he has directed and produced seven highly polished and professional GFC videos. And don't forget the MVs for Life Goes On. For the October issue of Vogue Korea he took on the role of Creative Director. That's a pretty big deal. So we can assume he knows what he's doing.

If he produces content in a particular way, it's because it enables him to communicate what he wants to communicate.

2. You may not understand the message. That doesn't mean there's nothing to understand.

A heads up to people who can't work it out... your inability to grasp meaning doesn't equate to 'no meaning exists'. Suggesting that people who recognise what he's doing are reaching or delusional is an insult to both the audience who can read this situation, and to Jungkook, who is sharing his message.

Consider a system of writing you can't decode. Lack of comprehension doesnt mean the writing is meaningless, it means you don't understand the language.

Even if you believe you understand what's being said, please recognise that context may play a role too, that it could reveal a richer and deeper message. Don't just assume the easiest (laziest) interpretation is correct.

(You may have guessed, someone suggested I was 'behaving like the cult' when I pointed out that JK's tiktok was more than being funny ... and now I'm mad 🤣)

Vent over. Now back to he topic at hand...

💜💛

What was he was really doing? And why is it not at all random?

Let's take a step back to recall what army has been saying about this...

Almost every interpretation i read suggests he reversed the order (silly>sexy becomes sexy>silly). The reason given is that his tiktok only makes sense if the order is reversed, and this idea is backed up by the caption saying "I go the other way".

But the 'reversed order' theory is based on a hereronormative perspective of what's sexy (and a stereotypical perspective of silly.)

So consider the content of his tiktok from a queer point of view...

For a man in a relationship with another man, the idea that he's with all those women is silly.

It's silly to believe he's got a girlfriend - or several. It's silly to think the womens' names in the song are relevant to him.

He posted this tiktok at a time when he's releasing music that fits the western pop norm of boy + girl, and when rumours of him dating several women at once are rife. The timing is not a coincidence and nor is the choice of background song for this.

All these assumptions and rumours are pretty silly, JK is telling us.

Now let's talk about the second part, the sexy part. Yes it may look silly on the surface, but we have seen him and Jimin make dorky faces at one another when they're flirting. It seems to be the visual equivalent of calling Jimin 'Jiminssssi'.

It's just another way they create distance and avoid 'getting caught'.

Maybe sexy for Jungkook actually is lying on the couch in your sweatpants making corny faces at your boyfriend.

Remember that he puts out 'stereotypical sexy' on command as part of his job so maybe that doesn't feel very sexy to him. Maybe that's work.

In my view (I know this is subject to interpretation) they've been together for years now. This is not the first flush of love. When you've been with a partner for a while, sex is (hopefully) more fun and less serious. Maybe it's about having the confidence to be wholly unselfconscious.

(My partner makes a Pepé Le Pew face at me when he's goofing. No, i don't know why either... 🤣🤷)

But wait, what about that caption?

What about 난반대로 간다?

My beautiful Korean friend (who sadly has zero interest or care about jikook) confirmed the literal translation:

"I go the other way"

"I take the opposite direction".

It's not "it goes the other way" or "this goes the opposite direction". He's referring specifically to HIMSELF.

Jungkook goes the other way.

But it's more than that according to my friend.

It's a bold statement:

"I don't follow the mainstream."

It reminds me of his tattoo ...

RATHER BE DEAD THAN COOL

He doesn't do things just because everyone else is doing them.

"I don't follow the mainstream."

OK. HOLD UP.

This is where it gets interesting.

Then why would he do something as mainstream as a trending tiktok challenge? Especially something as vapid as this challenge?

And why would he tell us DURING that Tiktok challenge that he DOESN'T follow the mainstream?

And then delete it.

Creating content takes time.

And we know he's a busy man.

He's about to release an album. He's doing live performances. He's prerecording for music shows. He's overseas right now... for the fourth time in a month! Does he have time for this??

And he DELETED it...

Did he just WASTE all that time?

No, he did not.

He deliberately chose to do this.

He did it knowing ARMY studies every action, every video, and every media release.

He did it knowing ARMY would already have copied the video before he took it off his profile.

He said on Stationhead that he knows ARMY has it, and is sharing and posting it. He's FINE with that.

So he took the time to create and upload that video. He wants it out there.

He just doesn't want it on HIS page. That's an important part of the story.

So lets go back to the caption.

"I take the opposite direction"

"I go the other way"

"I don't follow the mainstream."

*Said boldly* remember. It's a loud statement, captioning an otherwise pointless very mainstream trending challenge.

So if he's not referring to tiktok itself, or to uploading challenges, what could he be referring to?

...

...

There's only one thing left: Himself.

I take the opposite direction

I go the other way

I don't follow the mainstream

Essentially... I swing the other way.

There's no way a queer man would make that statement and not fully recognise the message he's sending.

As for deleting the video, I'd say he knew it was too risky to leave on his profile, being a celebrity in Korea. He's managing his brand. Deleting it also gives him plausible deniability. He can say he made an error. As I said, he's very intelligent. He knows ARMY will see it and share it. He knows that those of us with a queer eye will hear the message loud and clear.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 And we do hear it. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Can Ray be Redeemed? Is Sand the Solution?

I know Ray has upset a lot of people in Episode 8. I do find it really fascinating how quickly the tide has turned on him, especially when you compare his actions to those of our villains of the first arc: Boston and Top. Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I still choose to believe that Ray does care. He's hugely misguided but not heartless.

Let me firstly preface that none of what I'm about to say excuses Ray's behaviour but is an attempt to unpack why I still hold hope.

A child lost with no anchor

Ray is emotionally immature (which as cliché as it sounds, is a direct product of his upbringing - or lack thereof). He largely operates on basic needs, as a child would: 'I want. I need'. It's all based on serving the self. He seems wildly incapable of thinking very far beyond that. Like a child, he can barely take care of himself, let alone anyone else. He's pretty helpless on his own in a lot of respects. Most people grow out of this. Through knocks and hardship, we learn the world doesn't revolve around us and how to equip ourselves with healthy and appropriate means to navigate through life. Ray however, still seems to be stuck in his infantile box.

I often joke that Ray is a bit feral, but there is some truth to that. Ray's been left to his own devices for the majority of his life. So it's no surprise he's developed this 'me against the world' attitude which is volatile and defensive, but ultimately keeps him caged in said box.

These traits are abundantly apparent in his relationship with Mew. Ray is the vehicle for Mew's self-destruction, but all he sees is the exhilaration of having a 'partner in crime', someone to be in 'cahoots with'. Like a pair of naughty school kids getting into mischief, rather than an adult partnership. Ray is all about immediate gratification over long term fulfilment because (as children do), they don't possess the wisdom and experience to think ahead. Ray seems unable to grasp repercussions or consequences in his decision making. It's always act first, think second.

To put it simply, Ray hasn't been taught boundaries and how to respect them. He just gets criticised for crossing them which doesn’t help him learn. No one has had the patience to teach him why and how. To guide, to steer, to direct, to mentor. To educate rather than scold. Prevention rather than cure. As a result, everyone around Ray serves to clean up his messes rather than equip him with the ability to not create them in the first place. He falls into patterns of behaviour that no one has seriously attempted to break which has only amplified with adulthood. The longer those habits prevail, the harder they are to change.

Does Ray harbour ill-will or bad intent?

Is Ray the worst? In my opinion, no. (Not yet anyway - I might eat my words later, who knows). I've said this somewhere before but intent makes all the difference when judging someone's actions. Choosing to actively cause harm whilst being fully conscious of the impact versus triggering damage to occur as a symptom of your behaviour is vastly different. This is where Ray and Boston differ. Boston acts without remorse, he purposely and calculatingly makes choices that will cause the maximum degree of suffering. Whereas Ray's a loose cannon. He leaves a trail of destruction where he goes, due to a lack of control and means to channel how he feels in a constructive manner. Boston's victims are targets, whereas Ray's victims are collateral.

I don't think Ray means to purposely hurt or harm the people he cares about. Because in doing so, he'll push them away - which is precisely what he doesn't want. (Though saying that, Ray doesn't seem to give as much of a damn if it's people he isn't invested in, such as Top). Ray's world consists of what Ray needs. It's not that he doesn't care about a single person besides himself, he's just so wrapped up in his own needs to even gauge the bigger picture.

When others do point out to Ray that he's hurt them, he does tend to look guilty and taken aback, as if he's thinking, 'But I didn't know. No one told me. I had no idea my actions would cause you to be upset'. Painful levels of ignorance. But I also see a huge amount of internalised frustration. 'But why? Why didn't anyone explain this to me? How was I to know?'

Ray is capable of showing remorse, of displaying guilt. He's not cold-blooded. Anyone who can demonstrate compassion is capable of redemption. Ray is seen to be genuinely appreciative and grateful when people are good to him. He's fiercely protective over people he cares about. Ray was also willing to jump in when Sand gets a call from his mum being in trouble.

One thing I do have to stress is the difference in Ray's demeanour when he's severely drunk/high versus when he's sober. His addiction tends to amplify his most primal desires, his most 'childlike' traits. The uglier sides of Ray presented in their worst light, set to maximum. The raging tantrums, the absurd and unpredictable demands, an explosive and dangerous impulsiveness. People often refer to addiction as a form of sickness, which is worth noting when the person under scrutiny is effectively not well.

Learning by Example

Now let's talk about the huge importance of Sand in this equation.

Let me be clear - it's not Sand's responsibility to teach Ray how to grow up or behave more like a functioning adult. It's neither his duty to be a stand-in parent or caretaker. The unfortunate truth is that Ray doesn't have anyone in his life who plays that role. Who is the voice of reason. To keep him on the straight and narrow. In order to actually incite change, Ray needs to be receptive to whoever is trying to help him. We've seen he doesn't respond particularly well to the majority of people in his life. He's defensive with his father, his friends, deflective and pandering with Mew. The only person he's seen to show any signs of actually listening to and registering is Sand.

Whilst it's not fair on Sand, he might be the only person who has any real chance of encouraging healthy and positive growth in Ray. Because Sand loves Ray, he genuinely wants to see improvement for Ray's own good. I don't think it's a coincidence that we tend to see Ray's more endearing side when he's with Sand. His childlike qualities take on a sweeter, more harmless, playful tone.

He needs someone with an almost parental level of unconditional love to not give up on him, where others have thrown in the towel. Ray's character is essentially a personified cry for help. His mother was unable to cope. His father seems chronically exasperated and far too busy to actually be present. His friends have always seen him as bothersome and too much of a handful.

I personally don't want to write Ray off as a lost cause. Ironically, Sand may be the saviour he didn't ask for, but the one he really needs. Someone who can save him from himself.

[wispforever]

Some thoughts on Itachi

So, I've seen a lot of comments circulating about my tags on this post, and I'm intrigued at the interest. I didn't expect it, as I see much more pigeonholing of Itachi's character than honest to god analysis. No hate- I'm no stranger to Kishimoto's writing. Some of his characters were unfortunately butchered or never given the chance to be developed properly, and Itachi is most certainly no exception. That said, I like to grant him a bit more nuance than I see on most blogs. I think people get a little wrapped up in the supposed "moral implications" of exploring how Itachi was also a victim of the system, as well as someone who victimized many people. But it's silly to equate character analysis and context consideration with condoning genocide.

I have a good laugh every once and a while at the metaphorical gymnastics people do in order to stay in the good graces of a bunch of internet trolls who are just Waiting for any opportunity to tell you you love murder and think it's delicious just because you made a post exploring a character's background. Media is grey; it's layered and wonderfully complex. There are many wrongs and rights in every story, and many wrongs and rights within those wrongs and rights. That's what I love about Naruto. Often times it's really too much like real life. Instead of people being black and white, right or wrong, bad or good- they're usually in a tough situation, trying their best and falling short, don't have all of the information, acting with good intentions or acting on what they believe will bring about a lesser evil, and then end up hurting others.

But it is much easier to assign blame and move on. A so-called bad person will always be the perfect scapegoat for issues bigger than them. In Itachi's case, the fascist government in the Leaf. It's easier to say Itachi could have just refused and decided not to be involved, than to recognize that like almost every other character in the narrative, he was under extreme duress, living in a military state. He was a child whose existence, along with all the other children and adults in the Leaf, was only valuable as long as he could serve as a tool for the war machine in the shinobi world's fucked up political system. And saying this is not the same as saying he was not capable of better decisions or that everything that he did thereafter or in general should not be read critically or subject to hypothetical consequences. It is the same as a saying his actions cannot be fully understood without complete context, and the themes of Naruto will never come through if every villain is just "evil" with no further nuance. And it would be boring too LOL

That said, I love to think about Itachi's situation back then. The ages in Naruto are a bit muddled, a little inconsistent, subject to change and interpretation, but Itachi was a child when he murdered everyone in the Uchiha compound. Most sources say he was 13. It should go without saying that someone so young isn't capable of the same decision-making or critical thinking as say, a 30-year-old, someone whose brain is finished developing and has much more experience on Earth.

Itachi's experience at this point in his life is informed by his age, and it's obviously informed by his childhood, as he has no other place from which to draw conclusions. Itachi grew up in a warring state. He saw people die and was subject to extreme violence in his formative years. To make matters worse, he was taught that war was inevitable and the only thing he could do to guard against it was kill others before they got the chance to kill him (threaten the village). Thusly, Itachi internalized at a very young age that what was in his power was to minimize damage (to himself, to his village, and to the world). What was not in his power was to stop this violence entirely (by adopting a critical mindset and going against fascist powers).

A part of this I think people often forget is that Itachi has absolutely nowhere to adopt this mindset FROM, as even though his father and the other members of the Uchiha clan seek equity in the Leaf, if they were to overthrow the Hokage and create a new system, it would still presumably center around the same ideals (minus, of course, the oppression of the Uchiha as a group). Fugaku is the head of the Uchiha clan at this time. As someone who imposed near impossible performance-related expectations on both of his sons, and withheld love and affection whenever they came up short (so often that it was at the cost of having any considerable emotional bond with either of them), there is absolutely no good reason to believe that Fugaku would reform the Leaf using a non-fascist ideology. And if he did, there is no good reason to believe that he would be some kind of visionary LMAO

This is important to remember because when it comes down to Itachi's decision to either kill everyone in the Uchiha compound and his family, or be part of the coup that would overthrow the Leaf, some people treat it as though it's a choice between fascism and non-fascism, which it most certainly is not. And if it was, Itachi, as a child who had grown up immersed in this ideology, would not be able to appreciate the difference. This context allows us to understand further what Itachi was really weighing in that moment. Accounting for his young age and limited worldview, the only valuable difference in this moment to Itachi was the amount of bloodshed that he would "allow" to happen. Essentially, he sees the options as follows:

Either give in to Danzo and kill everyone in the Uchiha compound, or facilitate a coup where the current government is (hopefully) overthrown and risk starting another war.

Here, Itachi pauses. He has known war. He knows how it affects children, adults, families, and whole nations. The peace he's living in currently is bought with blood, but it's the only peace he's ever known. The alternative is horrifying. And a war in this context, Itachi likely thinks, would be his fault, as he has now been put in the position to "prevent" it. Danzo and the whole shinobi system have groomed him into thinking so. Itachi, at age 13, cannot understand that there would be no war; it exists only as leverage for Danzo's argument at this point. His sensitivities are being played on.

Fugaku, though he is not the same as Danzo, offers about as much help as he does (that being none). Fugaku has no interest in avoiding war; if a war breaks out, it's justified because it will still mean his clan will no longer be living in oppression. This idea is valid, as fascist systems and discrimination can only cease to exist when we rise up against them; unfortunately, this most often calls for righteous violence, as the oppressive powers will not be moved with peaceful shows (not to mention they are willing to go to extreme lengths to avoid losing their hold on the people they have crushing power over, i.e. the Uchiha massacre). But Fugaku has no words to explain this to Itachi, who fears the worst and further fears being responsible for the worst. All he does is act as if it's a moral failing that his 13-year-old son is unwilling to stage a coup, which he believes could mark the abrupt end of a peace that's only just begun.

That said, let it be known that Itachi does appreciate this situation with SOME nuance, though it isn't of the kind that might have enabled him to see he was being manipulated. He at the very least understands that Danzo is a warmonger and oppresses those he fears (the Uchiha). He understands that the rights of his clan have been sorely disrespected, and that the issue needs correction. He understands the anger of his friends and family. This is why it takes him much deliberation before he can even come close to making a decision. He plays both sides right up until the end, listening to Danzo, as well as Fugaku and Shisui, paying attention to the current atmosphere in the Leaf as he tries to decide.

It is something he doesn't want to do. Here's where I get to the part I put in the tags of my drawing.

In this situation, it's almost worthless to write an analysis about Itachi's feelings at this time, his understanding of what was actually going on, his loyalty to his clan or his loyalty to the Leaf, because really, he could not grasp it. He was never prepared for this. He never knew he would be asked to make a decision he could only understand as "your family or the world?"

Itachi was put in a position that had no happy ending. There was no decision he could make that would not hurt. That could not result in a cataclysm that split him right down the middle. There was no version of this story that a 13-year-old could carry out thinking "I have done the right thing."

And that's the important part. Both sides asked him to make this decision, and so both sides are guilty of placing an immeasurable pressure on a child who should never have been put in such a position. Regardless of ideology, regardless of price, regardless of oppression or loyalty or devotion or any other thing- someone else should have made this decision for Itachi. Someone else should have been responsible. An adult, at the very least. Someone who COULD understand the implications of both options. Someone who COULD go forward and appreciate the evil of fascism and know that a coup was necessary. Itachi was never capable of such a thing. If he made the "wrong" decision, than every child who can't explain to you what a fascist government in a military state looks like and explain what the difference is between a hate crime and resisting a hateful power, is also wrong. Here is the nuance. These are things a 13-year-old in this universe cannot be expected to understand unless they are taught. And Itachi had no teacher. Quite the opposite. There were only forces pressing him from both sides, saying "choose."

Had his father done this for him, had Shisui been in this position, had any other adult Uchiha acting as a spy been put to this task, it would be a much different narrative. But of course, it had to be Itachi, who Danzo knew he could manipulate. It had to be a child, someone skilled enough to do the job, but inexperienced enough, afraid enough, to be willing to sacrifice everything they had to see the mission through. Someone you could whisper "greater good" to and have them hand over their well being on a plate. Someone who didn't understand they had the power and strength to destroy the system threatening them.

On a narrative level, Itachi exists to illustrate this point. How young people are systematically indoctrinated to serve a greater purpose, be it under a specific government, religion, or otherwise. We see it in real life fascism, in real life cults. There's no mistake. It isn't an accident that Itachi's story begins like this.

Which brings me to the rest of his life. The reason I drew the picture in the post referenced at the top. Itachi's character is a bit of a mystery the rest of the anime. Be that because of bad writing or an intentional omission, his motives, thoughts, and opinions are largely left ambiguous. However, there are still a few moments that interest me as far as the implications of his development.

When Itachi first comes back to the Leaf village, he faces Kakashi. On the one hand, this could simply be a narrative tool- the big bad meets the big good. He takes Kakashi out of commission! The first rogue shinobi we see who is able to defeat the pillar of the Leaf, the Copy Ninja, and without even breaking a sweat!

On the other hand, I find the brutality of Itachi's attack very intriguing. Again, it could be the tough guy act, but he's able to keep three jonin busy easily using standard genjutsu (with the help of Kisame). It wouldn't be a stretch to say that using the tsukuyomi is overkill, and at a considerable price, we learn later.

Why then would Itachi, who has been shown to have excellent battle intelligence, who is strategic to a fault, be willing to jeopardize his health among other things just to... scare the Leaf? Make sure Kakashi wouldn't be a nuisance in the future? Sure, the last one would make collecting Naruto less complicated, but they dispatched Kakashi easily enough, and surely Jiraiya, who Naruto was with at the time, would pose a bigger problem than Kakashi.

It doesn't make strategic sense, which makes me wonder if Itachi has a special animosity toward Kakashi. Being his superior in the ANBU before the Uchiha massacre, someone who was willing to conduct surveillance of the Uchiha compound without question, Kakashi could have become a symbol of the indifference of the Leaf for Itachi. He could very well have been a reminder of the inoperable position Itachi was put in when he was still a child, and Kakashi, of course, was an adult. Another adult who did nothing. Noticed nothing. Did not help Itachi.

And while I'm certain that Kakashi would have taken severe issue with the goings on in the Leaf at that time, judging by his reaction when he finds out the truth in Shippuden, Itachi knows him only by what he did then. Facilitated surveillance of the Uchiha compound, was a supportive superior, but nothing greater. A bystander whose compassion, while well meaning, was entirely unhelpful.

I don't think it's far fetched that Itachi fucking crucified Kakashi because he was so angry at what being in the Leaf did to him. At some point, as he got older, he realized how terrible it was. He realized there were people like him. Children who were "born killers". Pawns in the game of the shinobi powers.

After leaving the village, Itachi joins the Akatsuki, who are also seeking peace through war (another story). He is supposed to spy for them, but doesn't follow through in any enthusiastic way (that we're shown). He works alone for quite some time, or else with a group (briefly he was shown with Conan and Kakuzu). He is partners with Orochimaru before he's expelled from the Akatsuki. He is partners with one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. He grows up and meets many people, sees lots of stories unfold. He learns that he isn't in a minority. Many shinobi are just like him.

And then, as an adult, he is partnered with Kisame, who he finds excellent camaraderie with because of their similar backgrounds. We see in this relationship that he understands what happened to him and what he did enough to acknowledge that, while neither of them are monsters, as many people say, they are human. And humans make mistakes. Humans are complicated. Wrong and right and wrong and right. They understand each other, and Itachi understands more clearly what the world puts these children up to. What it forces shinobi to become. That it isn't all his fault, but he still did it. And so he is responsible. He appears to be able to live with that.

But when he returns to the Leaf, those feelings bubble up. He hates the Leaf. He hates that system. He hates what he did. Maybe he even hates being a shinobi, how his excellence was weaponized, how being an Uchiha doomed him and his clan. And for what?

Itachi is played as a character who is only sensible, only logical, only interested in practical things, has nothing to express. But the way he behaves toward Kakashi in that moment bares all his grief and anger. I just like to think about it. We have so few moments where we get to see Itachi genuinely. The fight with Kakashi, the Sasuke/Deidara fight, his thoughtful moments with Kisame. Just makes me wonder what could've been if Itachi's story had gone a little differently.

Anyway, if anyone would like me to expand on any points or has additional thoughts, feel free to hop in my ask box or leave a comment. Thanks for the interest, I love to talk.

[cipheramnesia]

Watching the Batman: Dark Knight Returns movies. These have aged poorly, to put it charitably.

The attempt to largely preserve as much of the original writing as possible, does it no favors. Dialogue which is exciting and powerful become flat. And the writing for the gangs plus the slang terms move from merely coming off as cliche to being painfully out of touch.

This might have been salvageable, but the voice acting makes it even worse. Whoever was directing the actors seems to favor monotone delivery, with a slight pause before each word, as if they're being read for the first time off a printed script. It's difficult to tell if this is meant to pace along with the attractive, but very slow moving animation, or if the animation is so slow because of the voice acting.

Where changes have been made, they're generally not especially good. Batman's internal monologues are now spoken, resulting an a grim, stoic Batman who takes time to narrate every decision he's making to whoever is in the immediate vicinity. All of the antagonists are made just a little more malicious, more "evil sounding." Meanwhile, the brutality of Batman's violence is cranked way down, undermining the important conflict of the original over whether he's ultimately having a positive impact or not. Carrie Kelly on the other hand gets her competence turned way up, which is fun to watch but again undermines important thematic elements. She's meant to be a kid, getting into situations where she doesn't understand the danger she's in, or the severity of consequences. When she experiences her first moment of genuine danger and physical violence, it hits harder because she isn't a moderately skilled martial artist, and it brings home both how dangerous it is being around Batman, as well as the moral grayness. While she's shaking with PTSD, he's trying to comfort her by calling her a "good soldier."

Ultimately, it feels like this wants to have it's grimdark, morally conflicted character, but without anything that might make him seem like a bad person. You could compare almost any Bruce Timm era Batman animated episode to both movies put together (85 minutes each), and receive a more developed character with on point voice acting and whipsharp animation. If you always wanted a Batman Dark Knight animated adaptation, it's fine. It's not good, but it's fine. If what you expected was Batman The Animated Series but darker and more dystopian, or just a generally moderately good quality animated movie, it will not fulfill those expectations.

[dandelion-wings]

Hello! Love your fic and blog. I would love to hear your thoughts on something. There's a thing I sometimes see people say...that like Kaeya should have told Diluc his secret earlier than he did. (And I agree that he should have told him at a different time. And I do think it is generally a good thing that would strengthen their relationship, after they work through it, and it gives Kaeya a confidant.) Idk, it's complicated because I kind of feel like Kaeya doesn't really owe anyone the truth until such a time that he is put in a position of potential or active harm to Mondstadt. But I am generally of the opinion that people are way too harsh on most of the characters that keep secrets, as if that in itself is a moral wrong.

Hmmm. I had to think about this a little, anon, because "should" is such a loaded term here!

I think so much about evaluating his choices here depends on context we simply don't have in canon. Is Kaeya actually in Mondstadt for any malicious reason, or did his father leave him there to protect him in some way (and if so, did he justify it with a false mission to make Kaeya cooperate, or is Kaeya fearing a war that isn't actually likely to come)? If there was a reason, was he an active agent (spy, saboteur, what have you) or a helpless pawn (c.f. this post)? If there was an actual plot, has his loyalty changed and he doesn't have to do anything for Khaenri'ah going forward, or does he fear some kind of secret trigger word or magical control that would make him a danger to Mondstadt no matter what? Is "Khaenri'ah" only the Abyss Order at this point, or are there actual non-Order Khaenri'ahans still around that Alberich Sr. is trying to save? (Or, in between the two, is he on the "save/purify the hilichurls" boat with Caribert, but is taking a different tack than the Order, or working with them only reluctantly?)

An important question for me has always been whether the fanon that Kaeya is "a prince" is true because, if he is, and there is an actual plan, and there are actual Khaenri'ahans this plan was meant to save, then morally speaking I don't think he should have told at all. I tolerate royalty even in my fiction only and exclusively on the premise that they serve their people No Matter What (this is why I still hate Ei >> ), and I would lose all respect for him if those three conditions obtained and he still chose Mondstadt.

But like... my insanely high standards for fictional royalty aside... Kaeya was a kid abandoned in a foreign land. That's the one thing we know for absolute certainty. Even if he was around Diluc's age of eighteen, and even if Mondstadt definitely gives responsibility to kids way younger than in our world, to me that's still a kid. "Should" seems to come with moral judgement here that's pretty harsh, given that, and I say this as someone who does judge Diluc around the same events--but with the same ambivalence, for the same reasons, of him being a kid in a tough spot. (I did not make better decisions re: sibling relationships than either of them at that age, let me put it that way.) Also, honestly, if Kaeya had confessed earlier, I don't think Diluc was the person to initially do it to--leaving aside all moral questions, I think the smart person to tell would have been Crepus, an actual adult who, while not perfect as a parent by any means, I feel likely would have chosen to protect his adopted son from blowback. He almost certainly had the experience as a businessman to control when and how that information was disseminated to any relevant parties, including Diluc himself.

I honestly don't even think Kaeya "owes" anyone the truth even if it does put Mondstadt at risk, though that comes from the premise that he still feels conflicted somewhat (which canon has drifted away from somewhat but I do stubbornly cling to, because it's spicier, and I don't love them blandifying my boy >> ). He gets to make his own choices. And then he gets to deal with whatever consequences fall out for them! And honestly, while I feel like the morality of secret-keeping in the real world depends very much on the secrets and their impacts, and can often go horribly wrong, in fiction it leads to some of my favorite kinds of narrative drama. So I guess that's my takeaway!

[sullustangin]

Spoiler Free SWTOR 7.5 comments

As it says on the tin.

Honestly, I am really liking the consistent content that Broadsword is putting out. Big patches are 4-6 months apart, little ones are pretty regular. Each patch -- whether it's a big 7.x or it's a 7.5.x -- has something that tries to address a player request/complaint. Since Broadsword took over, the amount of content might be more modest in terms of scale, but it seems like more care has been applied to it. Based upon the player survey and other quality of life improvements -- and even some hasty u-turns--, they are taking player feedback into account. I feel better about the game in Broadsword's hands than I did with Bioware.

Technically, I did not experience major problems with the patch. As reported in the patch notes, there is one cinematic where a key character's mouth does not move. That doesn't break the game, though you may want to wait to record the scene if you're into that. There's another point where you have to hit the right spot on the floor for your jetpack to disappear so you can pass through the next door, but that's an easy fix. Gearwise, I'm seeing reports of being at least in 332 greens, but as usual, player skill may vary.

Patch 7.5 starts the conclusion of the two storylines that have taken the mainstage of 7.0: the Holocron of Nul storyline and the Heta Kol storyline, which started back in 6.2 (pandemic patch). I feel like some of the "huh?" in the plot was baked in from where Bioware started it, so Broadsword is trying its best to finish the story they were given. Is it a busfire? Yes. Is it their fault? No, but they have to finish it.That said, this patch actually makes the player make choices, and you AGONIZE over them. It's not just personnel choices but also diplomatic ones. I haven't felt that way in a considerable amount of time. Yes, you do make choices in 7.0, but it's one person living or dying, be a jerk or don't be a jerk. Lower stakes. The stakes are higher here in 7.5 -- or at least it feels that way. That's an important part of game writing: even if the choice does not matter, there needs to be the illusion that it does -- a certain level of immersion. You do have cascading consequences of choices as well. I'm looking forward to playing this patch on my LS toon to do different choices, more so than I did previously. "Let's not be a jerk this time" is less than compelling than "Can I do it differently, this time?"

Overall, there is progress in the storyline -- this doesn't feel like a "busy work" patch or "here's a new daily area to keep you occupied". (To be clear, I loved the Port Nowhere and Ord Mantell content in 7.4 -- it was a giant love letter to smugglers -- but at the same time, it was a bit of filler, to be honest). The quests you need to do are necessary to gain the trust of a naturally fearful faction of sentients (no spoilers) -- it makes sense they aren't your besties for life right off the jump. You will yell at the screen at the end of the whole thing, because it does make sense and yet it's the worst option for your character, personally, and it's out of your hands. (And it is not out of character for the person who makes that decision...)

No new date night content -- maybe in 7.5.1. There is some romance content for those of us that romanced Lana and Theron.

If you are big into Mandos and have been impatiently waiting for Lane to give you a buzz, this is your time and your hour. If you enjoy training hunter pets in other games, your time has arrived.

There is also a new Spring Festival event on Dantooine. In truth, I find it sort of derivative of the Tillers' reputation you could earn in World of Warcraft during Mists of Pandaria. It isn't exactly the same (we don't have a cooking profession), but the general ideas apply, right down to the dailies involving having a beer and going fishing, as well as scouring the world for seeds. There's also animal rescue built in here as well, so it's a bit of everything for any hero who wants to retire or at least slow down.

But of course, something sinister is on the farm, and so I anticipate Scooby Doo Mystery Hour shall continue as the event carries on.

~~

Given that Broadsword "maintains" games such as Dark Age of Camelot, there has been the fear that they'll move SWTOR into retirement, but I don't think that will happen, as it's still a live intellectual property (Star Wars), they're making gobs of money off it due to Cartel Market, and there's still a player base. (And let's be real, Favereau and Filoni play it, and they do matter to Disney and EA.) I don't know when 8.0 will come out, so we may have another round of storylines in 7.0 -- sort of like how we had an extended 5.0 (Iokath and Traitor Arc) after Bioware was stripped down in 2017. That said, Onslaught was quite good after the KotXX shenanigans and dev changes had settled. I still hold the view that Bioware is a sinking ship, and EA moved the Goose that Lays the Golden Egg to Broadsword for safekeeping. I think we might get an 8.0 in 2025 or 2026, but how that will look or work -- no idea.

[thatgirl4815]

Not to be a total Ray apologist (especially now at all times!) but I am somewhat irked at the way Top and some online opinions talk about Ray "dragging" Mew into his destructive lifestyle as if Mew is an innocent lamb being led astray. Mew is an adult who knows exactly what he's getting into with Ray - he's spent the past couple of years chastising him over said lifestyle, and he knows it's driven by Ray's substance abuse and mental health issues. Yes he's heartbroken so isn't making the best choices, but he is still responsible for those choices . Ray, however is an addict. We know this, Mew knows this, Ray denies knowing this. The idea that the addict is more responsible than his non-addict friend (who is very much cognizant of addict's addiction) when said friend decides to dip his toes into the self-destructive world of said addict...well, that's something. People rightly criticised Ray for demonstrating a type of 'poverty tourism' during ep 5 and as far as I can see, Mew's actions seem to be something similar, because we all know it's not going to stick - he's going to try on the unhealthy hedonism shoes cos he's pissed and heartsick, but he can take them off whenever he wants, whereas for Ray those shoes are cement blocks made from childhood trauma which are dragging him down to an early death (as Mew himself prophesied only an ep ago!).

On an entirely unrelated note, my two favourite First moments in this ep were 1) the adorable little noise he made after Ray asked him to help him/pulled out the 'na?' and 2) after Ray asks if he really doesn't want to talk to his dad, there's a second where you can see him imagining it before he sort of shakes himself out of it - it's such a lovely and subtle moment. And I think it's a pattern that repeats in his interactions with Ray - we see him allow himself to fall under his spell, or live in the moment, imagine what his life could be, and we also frequently see him give a little shake of the head and a rueful smile as if to gently knock some sense back into himself. Like we saw in ep 5, his life follows a routine necessitated by his financial situation and the emotional walls he's built up as a result of this and perhaps his romantic history, and he acts like he's fine with it, but then little cracks sneak in now and then that serve to remind him he's just surviving, not thriving. And I do think he's okay with not knowing his dad, and of course he's right about families not having to be mum/dad/child, but still, there's that wistful moment of 'what if' that seems to be a recurring theme throughout his story.

That's a great point about Mew being able to live Ray's addictive lifestyle with none of the longterm consequences; it's definitely a nice callback to Ray's poverty tourism and the ways in which these characters are adapting to other characters' lifestyles and being let into their world. Ray got to see Sand's world and became more empathetic towards him in the process. Maybe this foray into the world of drugs, alcohol, and hard partying will show Mew something similar about Ray? Specifically regarding his own criticisms.

I want Mew to open his eyes to his own errors when chastising Ray about drugs and alcohol. I want Mew to understand that simply lecturing someone and looking down on them isn't enough to make them quit. I want him to see why Ray has turned to these methods of release, and why even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to get himself out easily. This could be a groundbreaking moment for Mew to get to experience a fraction of what Ray is going through (not on a psychological level exactly, but as far as the addictiveness of drugs and alcohol). And yeah, Top's anger over Ray corrupting Mew is frustrating, because he acts as if Mew is a little puppy on a leash, going whichever way Ray pulls him. We know for a fact that Mew is capable of making his own decisions, and whether or not he's going through a heartbreak doesn't change that. He's letting himself fall, and he can ultimately only blame himself; he knows what he's getting himself into with Ray.

(Sidenote, but this is such a big blow to Ray--agreeing to be with him only when you're at the lowest of the low and your judgement is impaired. Mew is winning friend of the year once again...)

First! I agree--he does a great job with subtlety as far as making us aware that he is curious about what it would be like to know his dad. One of the reasons I think First is so good in this role is that he's excellent at portraying the little cracks in Sand's facade, whether it's about Ray or his father. He's good at acting one way but clueing the audience in that he really feels another way. I'm not an actor, but I suspect executing all of those emotions would be really hard to do.

Speaking of Sand though, I just. Want to wrap him up in a hug and tell him that he deserves better. (But also, SandRay endgame PLEASE.)

[yujeong]

as a writing prompt: maybe something with pete and sleep? i mean, as a bodyguard he probably had a weird sleep schedule, especially looking over tankhun—would be interesting to see how that might affect him post-canon :3

(i hope this isn't too unspecific)

Hey there! Thank you so much for sending me this incredible prompt. I have so, so many thoughts about Pete and sleep that I could write a whole damn essay about it. I tried my best here. I didn't want to overthink it - because that's not the point with this imo - so what I've written below is my effort into putting all of those thoughts in order. Hope you like it, nonetheless ❤️ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pete had always had a strange relationship with sleep. He never seemed to be getting enough of it, but it still managed to somehow sustain him. Just enough to endure hours upon hours of grueling boxing practice, no matter his father's harsh punishments at any minor mistake. Just enough to last in the ring, no matter the number of opponents he faced or the amount of times he lost. Just enough to make it through Chan's training regimen, no matter how his body screamed at him to stop moving, as if unaware of the consequences of such an decision. Just enough for the movie marathons Khun Nu would host on a whim, suspiciously on days Pete accompanied Khun Kinn on missions of high importance to the family. For some reason, they were never nearly as tiring for Pete as whatever Khun Nu planned.

More sleep wasn't what Pete needed. More sleep meant less chances of hearing his parents arguing at night. More sleep meant less practice, less matches, less earnings from fights. More sleep meant less awareness of the moments his father turned more vicious than usual. More sleep meant less opportunities to earn the position of Head Bodyguard, to prove his worth to the main family.

Pete didn't need more sleep. He was fine.

Porsche was the first person to disrupt that reality. Pete could honestly not be blamed for it; how could he know a couple of drinks would have such an effect on him? Heavy sleep was a peculiar thing, he realized. Pete was used to unsettling dreams accompanying his slumbers, but that night there was nothing. No other sensations either; he simply closed his eyes and suddenly, he was elsewhere, with no way of knowing how he ended up there. A fleeting thought had him wonder if death was a similar experience. He pushed it aside. There was a danger to this much lack of consciousness. Pete thought so when he woke up, only to find Porsche's face mere inches away from his own, his lips almost brushing over his. It scared him, how exposed he had let himself be. He vowed to never let it happen again. But then Vegas entered the picture, making him break every self-imposed rule of his, ruining him in the process. It started at the basement and continued at the safehouse; Pete slept and slept and slept, more so than he had had his entire life. It didn't happen willingly. Pete fought it at first, fought the urge to close his eyes and succumb to Vegas' will, let him break his spirit like he so desperately wanted since the moment he had captured him. But Pete was stubborn until he couldn't be anymore, until his injuries got the better of him, and sleep was the only way to heal, besides the pill he tenderly got shoved into his mouth. That's what Vegas told him, anyway, and even though Pete didn't know if he should believe him, he didn't have much of a choice. After he escaped the prison that fleetingly felt like a home, sleep became a constant state of existing. It was as if he was sleepwalking through his new life, the life Vegas threw at him with bloody hands and demanded of him to accept. He never wanted this, he kept telling himself. Sleep wasn't made for someone like him. He wanted to wake up. In a twisted sense, Pete got his wish when Vegas got shot and spent weeks in the main family hospital wing fighting for his life. Pete couldn't sleep. No matter how much his body begged him to, he couldn't do it. He had to watch over Vegas, over the man who owed him fully, completely, and make sure he survived. Pete's responsibility was to stay awake. Vegas' responsibility was to wake up. When he finally did, and later when he told him he was the most important person in his life, Pete finally felt like he was allowed to rest. He would not get punished for it. He would not lose something precious to him again. He could just close his eyes and all would be well. Sleep didn't feel like punishment anymore. It felt like nourishment, like a gift. Now, there were days when Pete slept heavily, days when he woke up and needed a moment for his sight to clear, before finding Vegas next to him, his gaze piercing through every single wall he'd built to protect himself throughout the years. And every single time, Pete got reminded of the safehouse, of a kiss in the form of a pill, and it scared him, before a sense of calmness washed over him. It was fine. Five more minutes wouldn't hurt.

[grison-in-space]

I'm honestly curious how you square the criticism of paternalism with the apparent conviction that people (or at least some people) are better off with some kind of minder, or in some way unfree. These read as basically the same things to me, so what qualifications need to apply to the latter to make it acceptable?

You know what, that is a fair question. I think what I was trying to articulate last night is actually a little more complicated than that, but I definitely did not lay out the connective tissue to get there, and I see how you got that reading. (I am very much one of those people who thinks by speaking, sometimes, and I am absolutely doing some of that by this point.)

First: I don't think that some people are better off unfree, full stop. I really want to emphasize that very strongly here.

Second: I was trying to articulate some of my tension with the notion that 100% unbounded freedom of choice is inherently the ideal to which all individuals (do? should?) aspire. ARA philosophy focuses really heavily on the idea that any curtailment of choice or influence from humans to animals is inherently coercion and therefore immoral. It focuses very strongly on the idea that freedom to choose is the highest possible value to strive for.

And I think that partaking in society is inherently to accept curtailments on at least some freedoms, in exchange for receiving the support and resources of the greater social whole. (If nothing else, sometimes things I would like to do are also things that will upset someone else in my shared social world, who will then impose consequences on me about it.) What I was trying to do is articulate that trading some of those freedoms in exchange for the benefits of a society can be, and often is, a pretty good trade. That's why sociality exists in the first place, even in the existence of some pretty harsh hierarchies within some species.

I was not very clear about this, I freely admit.

The thing you gotta understand about me is that I think in terms of trade offs. Life is a series of imperfect decisions made to allocate finite resources (if nothing else, time) between series of conflicting demands and desires. Understanding those decisions is essentially my bread and butter. And everything has a cost—even preference itself.

Now, in terms of humans, one of the things that humans are genuinely rather unusual about is our collective capacity for delayed gratification, impulse control, and abstract reasoning. When we talk about animals, we have to recall that informed consent in this sense is essentially impossible to acquire: without language to convey abstract options and with much less capacity to consider future outcomes, it's harder to present these ideas to animals the way you can with humans.

And... for all that humans are unusually good at those things, we're not always that good at them! I was trying to reach for and articulate that my own experiences with decision-making in the present instant don't always square with my longer term goals and values, and that reasoning through the long term consequences of my actions like a perfectly logical actor isn't always something I am capable of doing in all moments of all time. Which is why I build in structures to outsource some of that cognitive load. I think there's a considerable cognitive load that comes with decision-making in an infinitely complex world, and I think that part of the utility of society is to help structure choices so that you don't have to engage in the cognitive effort of gathering information for every potential choice you could make and then making it. The structure lets us conserve effort and reserve energy for other goals and decisions.

I don't have to know why the fire code says there needs to be an egress window in my basement bedroom and think about whether the future risk of fire justifies the definite immediate cost of paying for the window and accurately assess the risk of burning alive; I just need to know that my city fire code says my choice is to have a bedroom with an egress window or not have a bedroom there. Risk assessment is really hard and it carries a lot of uncertainty; yielding my judgement to a trustworthy authority is a way to conserve effort.

Of course, how do we know an authority is trustworthy? That's the thing that is hard; the consequences of yielding choice to a structure that is not actually built to support you are stark. And authority isn't always trustworthy by default.

I view the ideal role of the state as a way to structure our society such that we leave maximal room for freedom while minimizing the amount of effort and discomfort it takes to attain longer term collective goals for safety and comfort. The inclusion of humans with all kinds of experiences in that power structure to the extent that we can do so, with expertise in various situations outsourced to people who have dedicated significant time to thinking deeply about those cases, helps us to minimize the risk of authority wielded to oppress rather than to guide. (And yes, circling back to disability and mad pride, the experience of people with cognitive, emotional, and perceptive disabilities absolutely needs to be a part of that structure.) We collectively build authoritative structures that shape our choice making environment such that we have relatively little room for harm and increased freedoms elsewhere.

That's humans. We can think far enough ahead and communicate well enough to make that work. Animals generally can't. So when we think about the ethics of human/animal interactions, it's likewise important to make sure that we are listening as carefully as we can in order to try to navigate that trade off as carefully as possible, with the caveat that it IS a trade off rather than an unalloyed good juxtaposed against a certain evil.

[texasthoughtsaboutnothing]

Walpurgisnacht and how it ties it all together

So what is Walpurgisnacht?

Walpurgisnacht is a once a season fanservice event. It's a story thing with light character development. It's a banner with functionally an entire new rarity of ID. It's a game mode meant to demonstrate the power of those new IDs. It is a massive money maker for the company. And I believe it is kinda sorta the thing endgame players will align their behavior around.

That's a big claim at the end there, but I'll try to explain.

The key thing to focus on is the banner and the units that come with it. Walpurgis IDs are unique in that they are only available to purchase during a Walpurgisnacht, with the banner IDs being completely unpurchasable the first time they show up. Yes, you need to win the latest hype units from the Gacha or wait 4 months to buy them. These IDs are powerful, and, as this is a fanservice event tend to be referencing some of the coolest shit in PM's universe.

Needless to say demand is high while "supply" is dictated by a 1.5% drop chance or a 200 pull pity. This is pretty normal for a gacha, but a radical departure for Limbus, and it has some serious consequences on how we think about resources.

So in my last post I went over how Limbus' gacha after a certain point isn't worth it, and it ends up being mathematically better to convert premium currency to stamina to just grind out the units you want. There are several extremally important caveats to that statement, and the biggest one is Walpurgisnacht. I want to address that point here.

You want pulls for this, because you can't buy the unit until months after its arrived and you'll probably want it now. This changes how you might think about refreshing stamina, because you want to stockpile currency for a big pull session every 4 months. Counterintuitively, you want a lot of shards if you're new to buy the old Walpurgisnacht stuff, as unless the game powercreeps to hell and back a lot of these will be good forever (Regret Meursault EGO fundamentally changes how we think about his IDs and gameplay in perpetuity).

If we math it out (and use vague estimates so this doesn't become a wall of numbers), you can get 100 pulls from purely weekly Lunacy gains between Walpurgisnachts, but that number decreases for every refresh you do. if you refresh once every day, you're down to 85 pulls, and further down to 26 pulls if you double refresh. Ouch. However. there are other sources of pulls than just the 750 a week, and they add up substantially.

All of which is to say it's probably better to only do a single refresh to save pulls for Walpurgis, but if you do double refresh you will still have the ability to pull on this and maybe get the Banner ID.

But there's one other aspect to Walpurgis that has been met with some apprehension by the community, but makes me wonder at PMs intentions for the late game experience.

Gacha Announcers.

So Limbus has a system for Combat Announcers, There's no gameplay advantage for this, it's just to have your favorite characters comment on how bad you're playing, a nice little bonus reward that's easy to do if the VA is in the studio.

Walpurgisnacht slightly changed that, in that it added 2 Announcers to the Walpurgis gacha pool, Malkuth and Pierre/Jack. Malkuth is a major character from both Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina and a fan favorite; the response to her being available was... significant. Pierre/Jack are also here. The Announcers are very rare (1.3%), and cannot be purchased, but are Pitiable (Malkuth most of all, heyyo). They take their rarity from the filler pulls, so nothing is actually lost as far as odds goes.

A big sticking point is you can roll dupe Announcers as they aren't removed from the pool like EGO, and many are upset they might not get Malkuth and instead the other guys. Undeniably that sucks, it's probably rare to save up 200 pulls for the pity and it might feel like a waste. But this decision also propelled Limbus on Steam's top 10 seller charts for the day, so PM rang in the new year with a smashing success of sales. It's also unclear if we can purchase the Announcers later, so that also is driving some fomo.

So that might seem bad, but one interesting thing is that dupe announcers give a lot of thread, 50 crates worth. Thread is the primary currency for upgrades and at endgame you want thousands of the stuff.

This creates this image to me of what an endgame player looks like, and I wonder if it's intentional. They have all or most of the game's available IDs and are now just spending Lunacy to stamina refresh to grind more boxes or thread or exp or w/e. That person now gets a second Thread bomb from Walpurgis separate from the seasonal turnover Thread bomb, which is the primary restriction of end game. I'm probably reaching here, but there's a logic to this that makes sense to me.

That's about all for Walpurgisnacht, but there's a couple other things I think are neat.

One, the game becoming one where you hoard gacha currency for a big dump to hit pity every 4 months is hilariously normal for this genre, albeit we actually get all the units.

Second, community engagement spikes with this as we get classic gacha posts like:

"Hey I just got every relevant unit in a single 10 pull, how wacky is that?" "150 pulls and nothing, it's so fucking over" "Can I get this unit in 3 single pulls? If not game sucks and devs are @%$#." "I STOLE MY MOM'S CREDIT CARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK"

Classic.

That's all folks, play Limbus Company.