#like... i have a bunch of sketches from some of these months that are better

[cissy0writes]

Little Matchmaker

Part 2

Jinx x gn!reader

Summary: The little girl you've been taking care of for a few months stopped showing up one day. A few days later she's on your doorstep once again, but this time she isn't alone... (angst & fluff)

Warnings: mentions of violence and death, selfloathing thoughts, suicidal thoughts, probably ooc Jinx

Wordcount: 2.9k

A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait! I had a small accident at work and got a concussion, sadly I wasn't allowed to look at a screen for longer periods of time... But I got the okay from my doctor last friday, so I finished it in the last few days. It's not perfect in any kind of way and probably contains a bunch of mistakes, but I hope you still enjoy it!

Things have been harder lately; ever since Silco's death, Jinx has been worse than ever. She barely slept or ate; most of the time, you practically had to force food down her throat.

But what worried you the most were her hallucinations. They happened more frequently now, not a day went by without one. You tried your best to help her, but you quickly realized her hallucinations were an opponent you couldn't beat.

You've been patient with her, taking care of her needs all by yourself. It was hard; your assuring words and whispered promises just didn't do it anymore. But what else could you do? How else were you supposed to show her she wasn't alone?

Unknown to you, Jinx had already made her decision and had decided the best way to move forward was to leave you behind. It's better this way. She told herself. If she pushed you away now, you would never get the chance to leave, to betray her. And better yet, she wouldn't be able to unwillingly cause your demise.

You were working on a sketch for your next big project when she approached you. The way she said your name, so hollow, so emotionless, already told you that her next words would break your heart.

"This isn't working anymore. I think it's time to part ways." Her expression was grim, her tone nonchalant, as if the idea of life without you didn't fill her body with anxiety.

"What? No-" You quickly shook your head, eyebrows furrowed together as you stared at her, "no, you don't mean that."

She had scoffed in response, face hardening as her stare turned almost cruel. "I don't need you hovering around me like I'm some stupid toddler. I'm better off on my own."

You had feared this would happen eventually. You knew it would happen, but that didn't mean you'd accept it just like this. No, you argued, pleaded, begged. But she didn't budge; her mind was set in stone.

"I know I've been too much lately." You said with unshed tears brimming at your waterline. "But I can change, I swear I can change. Please let me show you that I can change."

"Don't bother." She replied with a roll of her eyes. "You don't have any use here any more. I don't need you anymore."

Her words cut deep, and she knew it. She knew how your past left you broken and believing you only deserve love if you earn it, if you're useful enough. She used this insecurity for her own gain; she thought if she just hurt you enough, you'd stop arguing and just accept everything.

But even as the first tears started falling, you still didn't budge. You frantically shook your head, "I can be useful again."

Jinx turned around and started walking away, so she didn't have to see your pained expression. She couldn't stand seeing you cry, and knowing she was the reason for the tears made it so much worse.

It's better this way. She repeated the thought over and over again. It's better this way. She can't leave me if she's gone already. I can't hurt her if she isn't around.

In one last desperate attempt, you reached out for her. "Please. Jinx, please, I love you." But the moment you touched her shoulder and she turned around, you knew you fucked up.

Her palm met your cheek with a loud smack, and for a moment, her expression mirrored the horror you felt. This never happened before; no matter how mad she was, she never hit you before.

She schooled her expression back to careful indifference and practically spat her next words. "I don't, and I don't want you here."

That's when you left, heartbroken and tears streaming down your cheeks.

Months passed, but her words kept haunting you until you met Isha. You always imagined meeting her again one day, but not like this, not while you looked like the mess you were.

You blinked, once, twice, then cleared your throat. "She's been with you?" The words didn't sound nearly as calm and collected as you wanted them to; instead, your voice came out shaky and uneven.

"Yeah," Jinx muttered out with a nod, her expression unreadable.

You didn't know what to say or do; thankfully, Isha seemed to pick up on the awkward atmosphere. She moved out of your hold and held out her hand, looking at you expectingly. You immediately grabbed her hand; you would never question her choices or decisions ever again. After you slowly got up on your feet, she reached for Jinx's hand as well. The blue-haired girl muttered weak protests but took her hand nonetheless.

None of you said a word as Isha marched towards the door of your shop, pulling you and Jinx along with her.

Once inside, Isha led you two up the stairs, and you started to wonder if this was a good idea. Jinx has never been here before, after all. Before she broke up with you, you lived with her. You were nearing your bedroom, and as soon as you were inside, Isha dropped your hands and walked over to the desk you previously sat in front of.

She stepped over the chair on the ground and rummaged through the papers on your desk. You and Jinx watched her with confused expressions, but when she turned back around with a drawing in her hands and a grin on your face, your face morphed into an embarrassed grimace.

The drawing was of Jinx; you had made it years ago, and after your break-up, you couldn't find it in your heart to get rid of it. It was a reminder of the good times and the happy memories you shared with her.

The picture only showed her face; she was laughing, her eyes squeezed shut, and her lips pulled upwards in a beautiful smile. It used to be taped on the wall beside your bed, a place where you could see it every night. You remembered the day you put it away, and finally, your mind began to put the loose ends of Isha’s disappearance and her return with Jinx together.

Isha was a very creative child; she loved to draw and paint. Whenever you had a client, you gave Isha a stack of paper and a package of colorful crayons. She would sit on the small table in the back of your shop and be entertained for hours. From now and then she would go to you and show you her newest masterpiece.

You kept every picture Isha ever drew in a box under your bed beside one. The one picture, a drawing of you and Isha side by side as stick figures, holding hands and smiling, was too precious to put away.

She was so proud when she showed it to you, her smile contagious and her eyes practically shining.

"Oh, this is beautiful!" You had told her with a wide smile, carefully taking the picture out of her hands. You ran your fingers over it, admiring it with a soft expression. "You know what? I'm going to hang this up beside my bed." You said to her when you looked up again.

Isha nodded her head frantically up and down, her expression filled with excitement as she ran past you up the stairs. You followed after her with a chuckle and a shake of your head.

Inside your room, you stopped in front of your bed, staring at Jinx's picture on your wall. You just stood there for a while, Isha’s drawing is still in your hands as you got lost in thought.

The pull on your shirt brought you back to reality, and you looked down at Isha, who gave you a curious look. You shook your head and gently pealed the taped picture from your wall, making sure not to damage the paper.

You placed it on your bed and went to your cupboard, rummaging through it in search of more tape. When you found it, you turned around with a smile, but Isha wasn't looking at you- she was looking at the drawing of Jinx.

She tilted her head to the side as she looked back up, pointing at the picture and giving you a curious look. You sat down next to her on your bed, taking the picture from her with a sigh.

"This is an old friend of mine, someone I really liked." You explained to her as you traced your fingers over the paper. "I haven't seen her in a long time... We had a fight, you know?"

Isha nodded in response, a look on her face as if she understood that you and Jinx used to be more than friends. You shook your head and put the picture away again. "It doesn't matter now. Let's put up your drawing, okay?"

You never mentioned Jinx again to Isha, and you were under the impression she simply forgot your talk. But now, as she pointed at the drawing and then at Jinx with a proud look on her face, you realized the reason she was gone for so long was because she found Jinx. She found her and brought her to you, and some part of you wanted to break down in tears again at this realization.

"You kept this?" Jinx asked with a frown as she turned to you, her tone skeptical, almost hesitant. "Why?"

Because throwing it away meant we were truly over. Because as long as I had this, at least a part of you was still with me. Because it reminded me of all the happy memories we had together. Because I still need you like I used to. Of course, you didn't say any of that; instead, you looked away from her and shrugged. "Didn't have it in me to get rid of it..."

You walked over to Isha and took the picture from her, putting it back on your desk and handing her a fresh sheet of paper and crayons. "Can you make me a new drawing?" You asked her with a smile, and she lit up with excitement at your request. She nodded and quickly left the room, no doubt going to her own room to draw.

"So..." You began as you turned back to face Jinx, feeling unsure if having her here was a good thing or a bad thing. "It's been a while."

Jinx nodded with a grim look on her face, scoffing out her words. "Yeah, but you seem to be doing well. Look at you playing happy family."

You shook your head with a sigh. "Do we really have to do this again? Can't we just for once talk like normal people?"

"Spoiler alert, sweetcheeks. We're not normal." She scoffed out with a roll of her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

You sighed again, picking up the fallen chair and sitting down on it. You just looked at her for a moment, studying her from head to toe. She hadn't changed at all, at least not physically, you wondered how her mental state was. Did it get better or worse?

"Why did you push me away?" You asked after a while. You just couldn't help it, that question haunted your mind all this time. Why?

Jinx seemed caught of guard, her eyes widened for a moment before her gaze hardened again and she stared at you with squinted eyes.

"What's it matter now? It's been months, move on." Her voice quivered ever so slightly, her unbothered facade slowly cracking away.

"Please." You said as you looked at her with a frown, shaking your head at her. "I just want to know. I need to know. Why?"

Jinx scoffed, averting her gaze and shrugging her shoulders. "You would have left anyway, figured I make it easier for the both of us."

Your frown only deepened and you shook your head almost frantically. "That's not true- I would have never left you, never."

Jinx was quiet after that, her expression torn between regret and guilt. But she quickly shook the thoughts away, narrowing her eyes once more. "Yeah, that's what everyone always says. Let's be honest sweetcheeks, either you would have left or died. That's how it always goes."

"Why do you sabotage yourself like that?" You asked with a hint of disbelief. "Why can't you just accept that people actually care about you? That people love you?"

"Because I'm a jinx!" Her voice rose and she threw up her hands in exaggeration. She half expected you to flinch away from her -given how your last encounter with her ended- but you didn't even bat an eye at her small outbreak. "I destroy everything around me! I get everyone who cares about me killed one way or another!"

You shook your head at your words, looking at her with something close to pity and she hated it.

"You're not a jinx. You're just Jinx. People in Zaun die left and right everyday, that has nothing to do with you."

You hoped your words would soothe her, would make her understand how wrong her thoughts about herself were. She just gritted her teeth and looked away from you, not bothering to respond in any way.

You sighed and looked down at your lap. "Aren't I tge perfect example? I care about you more than anything and I'm still alive. I care and I didn't die, isn't that proof enough?"

"You still care?" Jinx asked hesitantly, her expression almost vulnerable as she studied you with her gaze.

"Of course I do." You said the words as if it was obvious and to you it was. How could she be so surprised about it? Did she really think your devotion to her just stopped?

"Why?" Her voice was uncertain, almost disbelieving.

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head and getting up. You walked slowly towards her, doing your best not to startle her as you reached for her face. She flinched away for a second, her gaze looking haunted before she took a shaky breath in.

"I love you Jinx, that never changed. I don't even think it _can_ change." You told her quietly, gently cupping her face in your hands as her lips began to tremble.

It only took two seconds before the first tears rolled down her cheeks. Her body shook as sobs escaped her and she threw her arms around you, clinging desperately onto you.

"I'm sorry. I- I'm so sorry." She cried out against you, pressing her nails uncomfortably into the skin of your shoulders. You could feel her tears soak the front of your shirt, could feel the pain in your shoulders, but you didn't mind. You never minded.

You rubbed her back up and down in a soothing way, whispering soft assurances in her ear as you felt yourself tear up as well. "It's okay... it's okay..."

"I... I- I'm sorry... please don't leave." Jinx's voice sounded almost like a whimper and you held her a bit tighter.

"I won't. I won't." You promised her, voice thick with emotion and you squeezed your eyes shut as the tears became too much. "We'll make this work."

"H-how?"

"I don't know," you mumbled with a slight shake of your head, "but we will. I swear we will."

You don't know how long you two stood there, just holding each other, but no matter how long it was it didn't feel long enough. You finally had her back, she was in your arms again... For months the mere idea of this seemed impossible, but this was real. She was really here with you again.

You only pulled apart when Isha pulled on the fabric of your pants, you hadn't even noticed her entering the room again.

Your left arm was still around Jinx, not daring to let go of her just yet and you could see her looking away out the corner of your eyes. You rubbed at your eyes with the back of your hand, wiping away the tears before looking down at Isha with a smile.

Isha stared at you with a frown, obviously concerned about you. She glanced at Jinx for a moment and then back at you, tilting her head to the side and giving you a questioning look.

"Everything is fine." You told her with a smile before your attention got pulled to the piece of paper she was holding in her small hands. "Did you finish your drawing?"

Isha seemed a bit skeptical for a moment but she shrugged it off as soon as you mentioned her drawing, instead she nodded excitedly and held it up for you.

You carefully took it from her to look it over. You couldn't help but smile brightly as you saw what she drew. Three stick figures, one that looked like Jinx on the left and one that looked like you on the right. In the middle was a smaller figure, Isha, both you and Jinx were holding one of Isha’s hands. All stick figures were smiling and over them were big red hearts.

"It's absolutely beautiful." You looked back at Isha and reached out to run your hand through her hair.

Isha beamed at your praise and you let out a chuckle before tapping Jinx's arm to get her attention.

You handed her the drawing and watched her expression. She looked so much younger right now, her eyes tearing up again and her lips quirked in a wobbly smile.

At that moment, as you watched Jinx carefully tracing the figures with her fingers, you knew everything would be okay.

[tiredsmashbros]

THURSDAY - .... um...?

well would you look at that. the blue bitchass is beginning to give up... how wonderful doing a party ain't easy don't try this at home-

WELL... since... SMG4 isn't going to announce something cool, i um, will! similar to the 1K birthday party last year on thursday, i'll show an itty bitty wip update once more on:

LIPBITE PART 3!!

since i already teased lil bit from this page a few days ago, i thought might as well show the whole thing!! obviously not final, but very close to it. frankly i've been meaning to have this next part done before 2025, yet i kept getting really sick, and having to manage several projects and irl issues/events. hopefully within my last spring semester i can continue working little by little but i can't genuinely guarantee a date. other than later this year LMAO. but what i CAN guarantee is i'm making sure its as great- maybe even better than pt2 as i'm putting a little more effort and thought from improving the past few months. alas, it is slowly in the works and reminder to folks i AM in my senior year and will be graduating THIS SPRING!! yippee!!! hopefully, after this event i can get back to prioritizing this one as i slowly get back to college. either way, once its done, i hope you guys will enjoy it as much as i do and hopefully the wait will be somewhat worth it. until then, wait patiently fuckers /silly

BUT THATS NOT ALL!!

since obviously that one sketch above ain't going be enough

here's a bunch of other things i've worked on during my fall semester that seems pretty cool and relevant but never uploaded on here !!

this is a illustration piece i made for my screen printing class! with the printed one being off from the reference since i put the color order wrong LMAO and i also wanted to experiment how chaotic i could make it hehehe. kinda shy to share this piece in particular, but its honestly one of my favorites i've done, so theres no harm in sharing

the same class, but as 1/3 of my final, i had to make books! but because i'm horrible with using pins and too picky with paper + string alignment, i thought it would be best i do... well... a very silly collage-like project xDDD buTT!! this one taking the opportunity to make a cool TSB book!!!

lastly, something even more crazy, another final from one of my other classes... a kickstarter.

BUTT PLEASE LET ME STATE THAT THIS IS FAKE AND PURELY MADE FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. I AM SOLELY SHARING FOR FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT. THIS ISN'T REAL WHATSOEVER AND VERY LIKELY WONT EVER BE.

okay legal reasons out of the way-

i've shared this with very few people on my server, HOWEVER, instead of me being in control what you can and can not see, i've decided to just let it out for people to see the silly jokes and additions around the page i've made on your own free will, and additionally to help folks get a more semi-direct answer to what TSB story is to those who haven't caught up or confused! a win-win lmao

welp. time's nearly up for me so i will flee for now. hopefully this satisfied some interested despite not being TOO grand, but just small silly goodies for the day.

but if you're still reading this, all i gotta say is tomorrow is a more special day. something i'm very proud of and hope ya'll will enjoy 🍔

[adyophene]

I got a few people saying they wouldn't mind seeing a run down of my unfinished work and sketches! So this is gunna be just a big ol post of that and just explaining what the doodles would have ended up being!

First off is just some sketches of Alastor, Husk, a really uncanny Blitzo, and an unfinished voxhusk sketch

Left Husk was reffed off a pose that i've since lost, and right was going to be a little comic of Husk bugging Vox and then Vox bugging Husk in return. :( I don't remember what dialogue I was going to use.

Next is just some unfinished couple sketches! Some Chaggie and Angel/Sir Pentious that I might still use at some point. TuT I think Angel and Pentious could make such a hilarious couple and it kills me that I can't find almost anything for it

and this husk was just going to be a redraw of this

but with Al, Vox, Angel, and Lucifer petting him

next is one I did already post but this one here; left was going to be a short comic where Lilith comes back and is enamored with Husk while also vaguely threatening to Alastor as she is. Right is the only doodle I have so far for a comic about Husk and Charlie getting caught hiding out from the rain, and Husk trying to talk to her about her making a deal with Alastor. Ugh. I need to even just thumbnail out that comic. Its been in my mental queue for literal months!

Next up is a bunch of sketches of my own Hazbin OC, Shiv! I've never posted anything about him alone before, but he's featured in a lot of the backgrounds of my pieces! He was a carnie in voxhusk fake dating, and then a waiter in the diner piece, and ticket booth attendant in the movie theater one!

I always love putting him in just whatever job the art calls for because he is a '1980's cocaine and bourbon grindset hustlepilled business fuck'. I don't know if I will ever expand his story in artwork, but if I did I would draw something about him trying to get a Soul-Based Multilevel marketing scheme going. Shiv is short for 'Shiver' because he froze to death after drunk wandering naked into the woods while on a skiing trip. He's in hell because he made his money doing shitty business practices like scamming old people out of their money with phone scams. If he saw Mad Men he'd think it would be about him, but he'd fit better in Its Always Sunny

Lastly, I have some sketches from a comic I am literally fighting myself not to make, where Husk ends up kidnapped by a ring of criminals that smuggle sinners to other Rings of Hell. Husk would be captured to be an exotic pet for a Ostrich theme'd Goetia, but would quickly escape. The main plot would be him running into and then helping out Blitzo in return for help getting back to the Pride ring!

I would have also got to include my other OC, the little Egg lamb, Sunnysides!

Literally would have just been a huge excuse for me to draw Husk going through Situations and hanging out with the Helluva Boss cast and my OCs.

[grimm-the-tiger]

A day in the life of my Fallen London main

Beat people up and steal their books so you can make yourself tougher.

Trade mind-melting secrets for a Starved Woman's skeleton.

Con a guy into trading shitty wine for honey by telling him you got it from Mr Wines.

Drive yourself insane so you can catch a hyena.

Drink your freshly-conned honey and make terrible sketches for a commission you never intend to finish so you can make yourself less insane.

Hire a dubiously-qualified medical professional to stitch up the wounds you got during your Labyrinth of Tigers shenanigans.

Write maybe three pages of a short story, then put it aside for another day with the promise that you are absolutely going to finish it tomorrow, knowing full well that you thought the same thing last month when you put it down and forgot to pick it back up again.

Pull Spy vs Spy shenanigans at an embassy so you can get funny clockwork trinkets.

Go to the docks to see if you finally have enough clockwork trinkets to get a zubmarine.

You do not have enough clockwork trinkets.

Back to the espionage, I guess.

Recall that you also need fancy magnifying glasses to get your zub for some reason.

Go down to see if you can commission said fancy magnifying glasses.

Find out you need 60 Correspondence plaques. You have 20.

Go back to the Labyrinth of Tigers and fight a lizard for shrieks.

Drive a bunch of philosophers insane with said shrieks because you think it's funny watching them run around like their arses are on fire.

Somehow convert their screaming into Correspondence plaques.

Go back to the magnifying glass people and get your magnifying glass.

You need 5 more magnifying glasses. You still have Correspondence plaques left over. You do not have the big fancy diamond that is also needed.

The most efficient way for you to get said big fancy diamond is to launch a whole-ass archaeological dig and hope you dig one up in the process.

Go home and write sad poetry to my early-game Dangerous alt, who is starting to grow very concerned with the sheer amount of frustrated and/or depressing letters she is receiving from my main.

Decide to make yourself feel better by beating up assassins an ex has sent after you.

Get bored halfway through and go back to the Labyrinth of Tigers so you can beat up more lizards.

Go back home feeling slightly better, but knowing full well that you're probably going to forget what you're supposed to be doing halfway through and repeat this song and dance next month.

[ageravena]

I redesigned Cosmo and Wanda for my FOP: Missionaries of Eden AU

Greetings ladies with gentle hands. I'm back with another batch of epic art now that I'm finally able to draw something other than the same two characters over and over again (read more at the end)

Just so you know, these were just quick sketches I made when I was supposed to sleep and these might not be their final designs.

Here's Cosmo:

Out of the two, Cosmo probably changed the most.

I tried to incorporate elements of his original design into the new one, like his tie, sleeves and umm... his hair? The hair-strands are supposed to be like flames coming out of his inner core (the weird ball I drew next to him that has an arrow pointing at the floating onion rings), if you understand what I'm trying to say.

I originally made him a twink until I remembered that he gave birth that one time. I suppose people can get back into shape after such an event, though I like this version of him better (plus it's show accurate!)

I know real thrones (types of angels) don’t have wings but he looked kinda silly without them. Also the wings make him have a star-shaped silhouette which I think is cute.

Also instead of a wand he has a staff

And then here's Wanda:

Maybe, since now that she has a sword instead of a wand, she should be called Sworda!... please never call her that.

It was a bit harder to incorporate original design elements into this one, so I mostly just went with what seemed fitting.

She also turned into a girlboss. Not that she wasn't already! I just thought it would make sense for her to be physically strong considering she's a power (type of angel).

Her wings also look like a sword... kinda. Her wand is also a sword now!

I didn't feel like drawing her face. It's always a struggle for me to come up with them since my art style is semi-realistic and all. Pick your battles as they say.

I also created some sigils 3 months ago

As per usual, all the mystical creatures in my AU have their own sigils for summoning purposes (inspired by real demon sigils. Look them up, they're super cool). That's why I created a bunch of them for a few important +a few miscellaneous characters, and only now did I realize that I had never posted them anywhere, so here you go:

I'll probably tweak some of these (especially Wanda's and Anti-Wanda's sigils). I'll most likely make more of these since now the vespids (pixies) have kinda important roles, too.

Btw they aren't symmetrical or anything. I just quickly sketched them on MS Paint lmao. Also the light grey lines are just guides and not actually a part of the design.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(I tried to make a divider. Idk what it will look like on other devices)

Quick behind the scenes update: After three months of screaming in agony (or five if you include my two previous fixations), I have finally been freed from the chains of being way too obsessed with certain characters without my will... *cough cough*.

Though this might seem sad, worry not, for I persist by literally not caring about what my brain says. I believe it is my duty to continue this legacy I have created and continue drawing wholesome Peri x Dale ship art (+ AU stuff). It is what the fandom really needs during these trying times!

Anyway. Until next time, losertown!

[ntls-24722]

Hey so... Have you thought much about how disability is treated in your various societies? Like with the Debus and stuff? I've been thinking about it for a little bit and got curious 👀

Yes actually!

For disabilities involving mobility, I had sketched out some really clunky ideas for a Debu crutch and some accessibility for their mountain cave-dwellings awhile ago, so I revamped them! The crutch was specifically made for the situation where, say you have an arm compromised, but it's an inconvenient arm like a back or front arm that's mostly tasked for stability, so your balance is off. So there would be a crutch/walker for that, where you could bring support to the back or front and balance yourself better. And for their cliff dwellings, there could be these adobe-rock torons to help climb up with your arms and your mouth. Ideally, a settlement would have terraces up to your residents, but that takes awhile, so torons and pulleys could be an option. (I got inspired by the Great Mosque of Djenne for the torons)

Then there's wheelchairs!

So, just a disclaimer, some of these wheelchair designs might not be around at the time that homo mousike is set in, homo mousike is set around when history just began and as you can imagine, technology isn't really that far yet (the first self-propelled wheelchair was invented 1655)

The bottom design was my first design before i realized, "hey, don't... dogs... have wheelchairs... why don't I just do it like that." The first/top design was my second try which eliminates most of the problems with the first, the main one being: Debu are really goddamn heavy. REALLY heavy. So heavy, in fact, that they can't actually lay down for long periods of time, because their own weight will cut off their blood circulation and get pressure wounds. It's why Debu caves are filled to the brim with bedding so they can lay down for longer - and why my first try at a debu wheelchair was less a wheelchair but a bed on wheels. I guess it's still viable and its design feels/looks more vintage to the point I think that this might become the OG Debu wheelchair that would've been present around now.

Then there's blindness and deafness. Blindness is actually much better to have in Debu society??? Debu are actually not that great at seeing in the first place - their eyes are uniquely sensitive to color, but not to sharpness. And besides, Debu dwellings are in complete darkness except for one room. And because of the fact they live in complete darkness, Debu are historically inclined towards tactile language rather than sign language, which is a mode that deaf and non-deaf individuals alike usually communicate through. Written language is actually equally tactile in some cultures, with valley debu writing stories with beads that can be read by being felt, or read "aloud" by dragging the hoof across the text.

I also find it cool that alphabet letters are physical objects so you can go and buy a bunch of A beads. Defeated teacher at the store, buying a lot of C's and D's after a spelling test

Now onto zebramen.

When it comes to mobile disabilities, interestingly... you'd have a lot less problems in zebraman society out of all of them, which is ironic considering they're constantly on the run.

Before I go into that, I have to describe zebraman society: Instead of civilization forming once populations began to settle down into one place permanently and grow their food, zebraman civilization began when they left sedentary settlements to herd animals, leaving behind the seeds of swaths of crops months in advance in order to harvest them during circular trips around their massive, plains territories. Zebramen are similar to humans where they're able to run for very long periods of time, and they use this less to be persistence hunters but to guide their massive herds along "crop stops" that both they and their herd gather and eat from. They do run along their herds on foot, but those are generally zebramen with the specific job for doing so.

When it comes to the rest of zebramen, they practically live in their carriages, drawn by cloe-mena. They're not particularly fast, but they're really damn strong. As a mountain cow, they were originally built for hoisting themselves up mountains and are perfect picks for drawing carriages for one or two zebramen - or a massive brigade carrying an entire community.

That is all to say that since zebramen spend most of their time riding in their carriages, not being able to walk isn't too much of a damper. Zebramen are, still currently in their ancient Sumer-adjacent technological era though, so they might instead have a wheelbarrow, or smaller wagon with a service animal that they ride instead of a wheelchair since those might still not be widely made/widely available. There may be a cultural result to this where people in wheelchairs are seen as wise and down to earth, the same way we see people with glasses as smart, since they'd have a closer relationship with animals, which is a big ideal in zebramen.

But in the future, Zebramen's wheelchairs would end up looking really similar to ours, except there's more footrests in the front to accommodate their frontmost and middle legs, a cutout in the back to rest the back legs, and the lack of an armrest. Zebrapeople naturally keep their arms in a mantis posture, so having an armrest would just get in the way of trying to propel themselves.

Zebrapeople have generally the same crutches as us, too.

Zebrapeople are inclined towards sign since they're more visually oriented than Debu, so that's another similarity between us, but also because their fingers are stupid flexible and weird freaky cool signs are able to be made. Zebrapeople have the benefit of their sign languages being less species-exclusive between them, since zebraelves and zebramen have the same hands and much of the same languages, they get to share the same sign languages.

Zebrapeople do struggle with written language for the blind though, since paper's a very recent and very popular invention that has yet to find itself a widely used tactile way to read its text. The ones currently around similar to moon type where letters are instead raised curves and angled lines.

So onto what zebraelves have different for mobility impairments!

So, the zebraelf wheelchair might be a little different. Their butts are at an angle, which is why they can seamlessly go from octopodal to hexapodal, so they sit as if they're leaned forward. And that gave me an idea because this was the first self-propelled wheelchair invented by Stephan Farffler when he was 22 and this fucks severely.

That's COOL. This is COOL. And it's the same principle that bikes were improved with, so thank him, every cyclist ever

But, I kind of get why this didn't completely stick around. You kind of have to reach forward for this, which you might not be able to do. You see where I'm going with this?

Zebraelves live in trees though, carts like this are primarily for walking on ground. Yet, I would argue this only makes things better for disabled zebraelves because zebraelves are also really good at living in trees.

Their bodies are small and compact, and their bodies are adapted for both walking and swinging/generally hanging on and across branches. Having monkey bars on just about everything is used by everyone. Even if you're without the use of arms, your legs are morphologically the same as your arms, and you're free to use those, too. When you can't use either, there's still pulley systems to help you to get places.

And to answer your other ask, happy disability pride month!

[emerxshiu]

FORGOTTEN LAND'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY :3

I AM SOOOO BACK

I started this drawing yesterday around afternoon and finished it just a few minutes earlier.

I went with a messier type of drawing instead of more clean like the elfilin one from yesterday, i find it fun doing it like this, mostly cause i dont have to worry about making it perfectly so i dont get as frustrated as normal. Id place this one as my second best digital drawing. im pretty sure i havent posted what i consider my best digital drawing here, tho i do have it in instagram, i might post it here one day, tho these two are way too tied up, i love how this came out, its not exactly like how i imagined it but its really close to it, and also itd say that since i dont tend to play around lighting that much, this was such a joy to draw and i cant help but stare at it a lot, at least until i start hating it because i made quite a lot of errors. i also changed my elfilis gijinka just a tad bit from last time, but its not that big of a difference, mostly.

ofc i had to draw elfilis for forgotten land's anniversary, i tend to deny it in my head but yeah they're my fave of the kirby characters even tho i hate them a bit. I wanted to draw some more doodles, like, elfilis eating cake, kirby car, a bunch of other stuff (not elfilin cuz i already drew him yesterday) but when i tried i couldnt draw anything more, guess this drawing burned me out a lot, huh?

you can definitly tell i spent all the efforts on him cuz if you look a bit closer to the bottom part you'll see its almost barely detailed, but i mean, they're the focus so make sense i guess for me not add that much detail there. um also, maybe because i dunno i had OVER 130 LAYERS jeez no wonder firealpaca was slowing down so much, i need to manage my layers better next time, tho i did do something i keep forgetting, wich is naming them (most of them at least) that was a real life saver

Also, antares (fecto elfilis' spear/cadaceus), as always, was a pain to draw, but this time its probably been draw the most accurate out of every other drawing ive made with it in it, i didnt notice it was like, a little curved when it reached the blade

some close ups since his face is a bit hard to see

silly :3

fun fact! actually, this is technically a redraw, somewhere around between february and march i started a fecto elfilis drawing for the first anniversary, but i couldnt finish it in time, and i never finished it

thats...quite the improvement! (i remember being so proud of it)

also his wings are like that cuz i did not want to draw the pattern, its way too hard, i literally copy pasted it, wait, i was talking about the 2024 version but i looked at the 2023 one and i just noticed it also has the pattern copy pasted, i guess some stuff never changes since i still abuse the ctrl+c ctrl+v to this day

Also i ended up making a huge error there, i was planing to add the phantom spears from orbital pulsar (the attack he does first when you battle them at lab discovera) but theres an innacuracy, when they do the attack, they always close their eyes, i had actually sketched him (well i mean both these drawings are basically the first sketch (2023) or second sketch(2024) with some color, shadows and lighting. i didnt do lineart in the 2024 one cuz i wanted to be a bit like the og i made (too bad i sketched that one with black since the og was sketched with white due to me drawing the bg first)) with his eyes closed but them decided to make them open for a reason i cant remember, maybe i thought itd look nicer? idk

ive had the idea of redrawing this for quite some month now so it was kinda already planned

background cuz i think it came out really pretty

doesnt have the little stars since without elfilis and the structures it looks fucked up. the actual sky in game is more blue, but the clouds have some orange, in the 2023 ver. i made the sky orange, and in the 2024 ver i wanted it more accurate, but i didnt wanna loose the orange sky, so i did a gradient. pretty...

also here's a screenshot i took when i was like halfway trough it, its barely noticeable but i changed his mouth in the final drawing

I really love katfl, like a buncha whole lot, its basically almost my first mainline kirby game. 100% the demo, finished the game in almost one day, i literally play it monthly, like, every month i put the card in my switch, start it up, get morpho sword, and go shred elfilis in lab discovera. i would probably not even be here on tumblr and the kirby fandom if it werent for it. and i love it so much i genuinly cannot express how much i like it and treasure it with words or anything

Thank you for reading my unnecesarily long rambles lol

I hope i'll post tomorrow and dont forget like usual

Jambuhbye!

[mistercrowbar]

Heya! Firsr I wanted to say that I love your art it always makes me smile when I see it. I'm trying to learn how to draw, and eventually want to be able to draw stuff like yours. Do you have any tips/ advice on how to improve on drawing characters?

I could give the Fine Art Answer and go on about drawing from observation, from photo reference, making master studies, gestures, linear perspective, colour theory lightning composition etc etc etc but really

Let obsession grab you and ride it

I’ve known plenty of people whose art skills took off because they got into D&D and wanted to draw their OCs and they kept drawing and drawing and learning along the way. It can start as simple as, how do I draw my character making a really angry rage scream, and so you go to a mirror and make silly faces and draw from that. Then it can go to, I want to draw my OC and their party in that funny scene we RP’d at the tavern, so you start grabbing references for the interior of such a place, dabble in that perspective thing to lay out the bar, find references for the pirate NPC’s parrot, add some other elements just to frame everything nicely and bam, you’ve drawn yourself a full scene, got experience in drawing interiors, and learned some avian anatomy.

I do emphasise starting small and having fun. I illustrate full time for a living so that’s why most of what I post is silly sketches, I just wanna get the ideas out there without stressing myself. You wanna make art a habit, you want to make it something you look forward to doing, instead of getting wrapped up in thinking every new work has to be a masterpiece. Try to learn one thing at a time and add it to your repertoire instead of lumping a bunch of lessons in at once.

One thing specifically for characters, don’t jump right into making a reference. They’re likely to evolve the more you draw them as you get a better handle of what traits you want to emphasise or details that kinda get forgotten. Like, look at Aldiirn, I’ve had him for 3-4 months and he’s put on at least 30lbs lmao but also a bunch of other changes to emphasise round shapes like nose eyes hair. No one’s holding a gun to your head to keep things consistent.

So yeah! You can crunch and do the master studies and learn quickly, but if you’re just in it for you, have some fun! Draw your blorbo a million times and try branching out for one new thing here and there. If you are just starting out, it could be helpful to learn the basics of constructing a head and general body proportions. I don’t have any tutorials to recommend but I’m sure there must be something on youtube.

[myreitha]

Costume time!

Okay, you know what, I want to share this process and I've chosen y'all to suffer with me.

SO! A friend of mine doesn't have a spooky show to produce this year, and so is putting all his energy into a cool-ass halloween event (Fancy paper invites, puzzles to solve, challenges, games, seances, etc). The whole thing is themed around this fake secret society that we're all now part of, and the dress cose and we're being encouraged to come up with cool fancy clothes/outfits to match the theme to come in. Best description I can come up with for this theme is "Fancy witchy-vampire" (Like, think VtM, but witchier). THAT SAID. I'm still out of a job, so, I've got to be strategic. AND I've got the itch to make things. Even better. (More past the cut!)

I don't have photos for a lot of these earlier decisions and stages, sorry. BUT I go through my closet and costume tubs (the for-fun-or-cosplay costumes as well as the circus/performing ones) and have a nice closet-runway to figure out what I'm starting with and settle on this one burgundy satin wrap top with big-ass sleeves that I love. . .that unfortunately doesn't go with much that I have in my wardrobe that vibes with the theme. (There's like. . .one or two things it works with, but I want to be FANCIER). So I sketch around and come up with an idea based around this shirt (and a statement necklace collar I have that was some of the best $5 I've ever spent)

I have this old dress I'd bought at a flea market years ago and had altered to be an overskirt for a hoop skirt, and then it's been worn as a bustle with the bodice tucked away more times than it's felt hoops. It's a similar color as the top, so I figured I'd finally take the bodice off it, pull it in to be something I could walk in that wouldn't trail on teh ground, and I could set it under a corset in the center. Bing-bang-boom! Genius!

No. The skirt and the shirt were similar-but-different enough colors and textures that they clashed. Damnit. Well, I can ditch the skirt and figure out the rest! Some skinny moto pants. A decorative corset - I could embroider a corset (Myr no), or, ooh, use gold appliques (Okay, more realistic, proceed).

Next step was to mock things up as I'm trying to find what I want without purchasing a bunch of shit, which got me to this:

Okay okay okay. Cool, I've got a direction (that's not the shirt, but it's the closest I coudl find online to use, so I used it). Now for the endless internet and thrift store (No fingers, not thirst store, dear god) and internet thrift store searching to find me some cool-ass pants and a corset and some shoes that'll work with this. You'll notice, though that my statement necklace has been swapped out for cool-strappy-thing. Because statement necklace-collar is geometric and GOOD LUCK finding geometric applique. Harder than I expected. Took me a couple months to find things that weren't lots of money that I could afford. BUT I EVENTUALLY DID IT. This included buying multiple corsets with the intention of returning things. Benefits of modern shopping. The happy "lets try everything on" day was this weekend!

SO FAR SO GOOD. Took a poll from friends and the short corset is the winner. It's definitely the best constructed of the three, though the pants aren't QUITE high enough waist to be able to wear under it without some adjustments. But it'll do. The shoes turned out to be dark brown instead of black, so I need to see about making them black (and fixing them so the tongue doesn't decide to go deep diving towards my toes.) Other things to do: bring in the wrists of those sleeves some, they're a bit too big (Here they're clipped with bobby pins), decorate the corset, maybe add some gold detailing onto the pants? They've got that gold ridging along the thighs that you find on moto-pants, but that's absolutely invisible most of the time, so I think if I just brush some gold paint along the tops of those ridges, it'll make them pop in a good way. You'll note that none of these photos have the strappy-thingy, and instead we're back to the statement necklace-collar. Turns out the differece between the image I found on the internet and teh shirt I own is enough that you BARELY SEE the strappy. Also, I decided that instead of using applique, I'd buy some gold paint, make a design that'd work, and paint it on the corset. Only time will reveal whether this was a good or a bad idea.

Other thing this showed me is that this doesn't feel FANCY enough. So I'm coming back to that half-skirt idea. This time, though I'm thinking about something sheer - either a burgundy to match the top, or a black with gold accents (OR A FULL DESIGN?!?!?!).

Last night I got flat photos of the corset for figuring out the design, since the shape I was working with in my sketches doesn't match the chosen corset shape. Pls to enjoy some of the designs I was playing with:

Proooooobably going to see about adjusting the eye design. I think it fits the theme best.

Last night I started on the alternations by taking in the waist of the pants. Please have this photo that happened 30 seconds before my thread was attacked.

[eclipseberrycake]

Drops this and runs

ON A REAL NOTE

I have not drawn digitally in like… months (art block sucks…) so if these look rough that’s totally the reason why 😔

This is hopefully the first of many little like doodle dumps featuring fan art of yours as well as all the wonderful ocs shared on your blog :33

Decided to take this as a chance to experiment so that’s why there’s different labels on each character, it’s mainly just there for me so I can remeber which brush I used for line art. That’s also why each one kinda of looks different from the other </3 consistency fears me ig.

Some creative liberties were took, but also I am so so sorry if colors look off. I’m trying to get better at picking a color with my eyes and applying it on canvas rather than just relying solely on the color dropper tool.

HOWEVER if you are Sky’s and Sweeties creators are not happy with how the coloring (or really anything) turned out for this don’t be afraid to let me know and I’ll totally redo it :333

There wasn’t really any rhyme or reason to why I selected these three to be the first to draw, well Acura was a guaranteed pick considering she’s your oc, but I see Sweetie a bunch and just had to draw em, I love that funky critter bro. And sky is just so effortlessly gorg o h m y g o o d n e s s.

Anyways I rlly hope y’all like this, heres what the sketch’s looked like :>

Not related but like— I really hope you and your partner are faring well!!! I saw the one ask that related your life to the A03 curse and I was like nodding in agreement because goodness you’ve been put through the wringer 😭😭 so seriously I hope y’all are doing much better now 🫶

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OCRYA??? LOKS SO DEVIOUS OMFGNOGNF IM- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE THIS SM I LOVE THEM ALL SM THANK YOU FOR FEEDING ME SO WELL YOUR STYLE IS SO EDIBLE THANK YOU

Sweetie is honestly so funky and we love them for it and SKY TOO is SO gorgeous fr

Me and my partner are doing much better now thank you! It really truly felt like the Ao3 curse but thank you for asking! We just celebrated our one year actually!

[drunkenskunk]

So, this thing I've been working on:

The antagonists of this fake "transcript of a military operation gone horribly wrong" are called Impact Security Services Solutions. They're meant to be a bunch of bloodthirsty jarhead mercenary operator types. You know the sort: Shadow Company from the Calls of Duty, the hundreds of PMCs from the Metal Gear games, the faceless grunts in Trepang2, the Heavy Echo troopers from Bulletstorm... the list of these nameless, faceless operator grunts designed specifically for you to mow down by the hundreds and not feel bad goes on and on forever.

In my ongoing mission to start drawing again, I'm going to attempt - emphasis on attempt, mind you - to sketch out what these assholes are supposed to look like. Both to get a better handle on what their vibe is like and what they're all about beyond "bloodthirsty jarheads," but also because... I'm curious. How am I going to translate the nebulous, indistinct shapes in my head into something solid? What would they look like in the seconds before Tuera turns them all into chunky salsa?

Step one: come up with a list of hardware these mercenaries would potentially use, so I can find some good reference photos.

I think I may need to call in a professional to help me out here. Hey @frogblast-the-ventcore, are you busy? Can you think of any cursed guns for a bunch of dipshit mercenaries to use?

[mayordea]

TIME FOR THE LONG ASS 2024 REVIEW

i am once again gonna review each highlighted piece i have made in 2024 so far like last year even though it's sort of unnecessary i have a bit to commit to

yappery under the cut

JANUARY

jan's piece is my smash poster celebrating the 25TH anniversary! this after i got rlly into making giant multi-character ensemble pieces, and i've wanted to do a poster like this to celebrate smash, so i'm glad i was able to step up to plate. usually i think my art from january ages pretty bad in these reviews, but i actually still like it from the composition, colors, and the drawings of the characters. i still have the print of it hanging in my room! ^o^ other highlights from the month is the complimentary poster i did with smash ultimate's dlc cast... well i kinda mention that out of obligation because i actually do think this one aged like ass, mainly the shading on the characters looking pretty bad (especially as a print). i think i shoulda saved this idea for later in the year to time it with smash ultimate's release day of december 7 (i am extremely deadline-pilled) but i probably wouldn't have cared by then so i just did it like, immediately after the 64 poster. so it probably smacks of burnout + i can't shade with blue that well

FEBRUARY

this one sorta represents seven whole drawings i did for one series. it's my seven piece set of artworks based on mothy's evillious chronicles, and i chose rilliane's because i think at the time i was putting this together i thought she came out the best (i began assembling this starting april 2024 lol), but idk! i still think she's pretty solid but i think she's tied up with kayo and banica. one thing's for sure, i know sateriasis is my least favorite of the bunch by a wide ass margin, i really wish i executed it better! not much other interesting highlights for this month besides my other vocaloid art series, the alice of human sacrifice ace cards. i think they aged alright but again this is another idea that i wanna execute better in the future.

MARCH

oh boy another series!!! this was part of my four part series redrawing the crossed paths artwork from octopath traveler ii. i chose the one featuring partitio and osvald because it was my favorite at the time. i still think it aged pretty nicely but it has some rendering hiccups that rlly bother me but in terms of colors/the background i still like it. if i had to pick a new favorite, it might go to throné and tenemos or cassti and ochette. another notable highlight of this year was a piece of oc art i made. i need to do something unabashedly overdramatic and angsty with my ocs again cuz i still like this one too. i think i opted out of selecting this one to highlight since cropping a face was kinda awkward lol.

APRIL

an overdramatic oc art has been highlighted! another one i like (it's almost like i picked my best for this chart). it was sorta the origin of me using my favorite watercolor brush in procreate to have an extremely rough idea of the colors that naturally blend together, creating a pretty cohesive palette when i render it (which is the current basis for how i render in my current style). april otherwise is kinda boring idk i don't like a lot of the other drawings here lol. this utsu-p album redraw ft robin is still pretty cool tho imo.

MAY

i feel like i had some nice variety to pick from, but i chose my improvisational and edgy grima drawing since i think stylistically it stands out the most. i found my new favorite sketching/doodling pencil brush in procreate and made a whole drawing using it, and the texture is so niiiice. other highlights: COOL OC ART (ft kandy). part of me feels like it's kinda corny but i was born on da cob so whatever, this one was fun and i still like it!!! there was also my art based on bad end night. i'm a tiny bit mixed on the rendering/colors, idk i was experimenting with a different brush for lining and shading and the slight difference in texture makes it a little weird but that is shit that only matters to me. i think it's a hell of a lot better than the bad end night drawing i made back in 2022, so in terms of "redemption" i think it was successful.

JUNE

kind of a boring month tbh, i got miitopia-pilled again so i was probably busy playing that this month + i was home for the summer and i am extremely lazy when i am at home lol. but to compliment the dive back in my miitopia era i made a sorta sketchy drawing with kandy as my great sage. check it, it's another with my new pencil brush, and i definitely remember having fun with this one (though her robe physics kinda make no sense based on how i drew her ref, i never look at my refs for my ocs/i usually break their designs to fit certain poses silhouettes 💀💀💀). uh i guess the one other interesting piece (imo) from this month was my giant miitopia poster that i was too chicken shit to share proper until recently (if you missed the edit where you can fully see it, there ya go). it's kinda oversaturated vomit and i'm not crazy proud of the execution but it was ambitious and kandy's section still looks really good imo so it has value in that regard to me.

JULY

i participated in my first artfight this july! i drew many cool ocs. by about the halfway mark i got hella burnt out tho and started doing my own stuff to freshen things up (it was also around here when galasynth entered production and i met MANY AMAZING VOCALOID ARTISTS!!! SHOUTOUT TO THOSE MUTUALS :)))))). for this month i chose my poster based on touhou eosd since i think this might be the most gracefully aged piece the whole year (it's probably my favorite!!). the colors just came out real nice.... idk!! a notable piece from this month that couldn't be posted in july cuz of zine nda's was my actual galasynth piece. this was a pretty significant piece since it permanently altered my current rendering/coloring workflow (sorta established in the highlighted piece in april but now with lineart and with a differently textured brush). the touhou poster was created shortly after as a response to this new workflow! other one of note was my perfect cherry blossom poster

AUGUST

brave frobin's design for feh was revealed and i drew it 😼😼😼 (AND I CALLED IT earlier this month. not that i needed to use a lotta braincells but). this was a further step in practicing my new rendering style and see how detailed and meticulous i could get with the colors when i had ONE character to focus on with NO background and i think it was pretty successful. though im glad i posted the wip cuz the colors were probably better there than the rendered... what overthinking does to a mf. another banger from this month was a piece of oc art, it's nothing special but it was a rendered panel redraw of an unpublished comic i made of them and i liked it so yeah. (i also posted my decora una drawing this month which was my scrapped concept for galasynth, but according to my notes it was actually finished in july... but shoutouts to it regardless)

SEPTEMBER

aaaagh this month didn't have much goin on, probably cuz i went back to school around here and the work was getting crazy 💀💀 but i still found time to make something i'm proud of! i drew my oc based on a twitter prompt a mutual of mine shared and i reeeaaally still like it!! especially the details on the corals waow... (i don't really have much else from this month that i consider noteworthy enough to mention here so :P)

OCTOBER

spooky art!!!!! i didn't have much interesting going on this month because again i got very academically demanded of and didn't have much time to draw, BUT i vowed to make a tribute piece to "trick&treat" by oster project for halloween, so i hauled ass to get something ready for that and to have ONE traditional drawing this year (yeah i didn't draw a lot on paper this year unfortunately ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️). other highlights: a traditional drawing of gekiyaku pills for vsynthtober which i did a whole two prompts of (you just saw all of them) + a digital drawing of geki (i really started to like gekiyaku around this time). as much as i still like the latter's colors and texture it sorta started a bad trend where i sorta just drew characters from the shoulders up with not much pose to speak of + no interesting background just for the sake of coloring it. not that it's completely devoid of value but it was a pattern i was starting to get a little to comfortable with. i'll touch more on this in the closing thoughts section, but this new rendering style did sorta hinder my want to experiment with my digital rendering styles compared to previous years where i prided myself on having a bunch.

NOVEMBER

BOTH of my favorite pieces from this month fall in the same trap as the thing i mentioned above. i picked my drawing of hibiki koto for the chart since the pastels added a nice value shakeup. i STILL LIKE IT, it's nice, but did perpetuate this bad habit/shortcut. the other one was my drawing of great sage kandy (current pfp!). the colors here are pretty fuckin nice still imo, so as a coloring tech demo like this flavor of drawing i was doing i think it succeeded.

DECEMBER

AND FINALLY, the end of the year. i finished my december piece early in the year kinda just to check the box off and get this chart off my back (a totally normal thing people do when drawing art throughout the year). i have wanted to do a legacy of lunatic kingdom poster like my eosd one for a while after falling in love with its ost, but it just felt scary. the characters were very detailed and also there were moreeee 😭😭😭 but i got myself to do it cuz i found myself tempted to fall in the same trap as described in october/november (i was gonna draw koishi with the same crop/thought for the bg/emphasis on rendering. you might see her done by the end of the year), but i was like "NO, i must earn this laziness" and finally did something ambitious again. and yeah, i think i did pretty good with this one, even if the crowding of characters and details is sorta unruly.

ok so maybe i'm a little artistically constipated rn

doing this thorough review has sorta gotten me worried. i talked about this in my review last year, but i wondered if my progress has plateaued since i liked a lot of my art throughout the year and didn't see much significant improvement. but looking back no i definitely improved from 2023, and i'd say i broke some new ground with experiments i did throughout the year (the piece from december is still my banner!!). i also had a few different digital rendering styles i played around with for some variety.

this year, after the completion of my galasynth piece, i got really stuck in a specific rendering style and didn't rlly experiment that much with shaking it up. i also didn't feel compelled to try doing solid lineart or rough paintings, and i got stuck in a "halfbody with basic poses and backgrounds" pit when i know i can do better and more cool if i just TRIED.

i am writing this pretty early in december so hopefully i can bring something new to the table..... idk, maybe the differences in my digital coloring styles are only visible to me, but i certainly notice this repetition and wanna break out of my current bubble! i am working on a collab piece that should go live by spring next year that will hopefully do this :) (and i certainly won't be abandoning my current style, at least not overnight/without trying to evolve it, cuz i really like it and have received many kind compliments from people about it! so thank you thank you!!!!)

i look back at some of my pieces from last year and earlier this year and see some variety in how i go about rendering or textures or colors and wanna go back to that. so that'll be my goal for the rest of december + 2025!!!!! ^_^

anyway that's that, it was a good year despite my current crisis, i think i made some good art. also don't be like me and feel obligated to make nice art every month for an aesthetic chart, i do it cuz i draw fast and i am easily satisfied by them. take breaks touch grass drink water, play and draw. yay!

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Script progress + Updates💙

Hello and welcome new followers, long time no see! I was very busy most of this month, but I am back and ready to continue from where I left off on the game! This game development post might be a bit long but I tried to condense everything! :]

"How are things going so far?":

It's going slow and steady! I haven't been able to do too much these past few weeks, however, I wrote a few parts out before I got too busy and couldn't do anything else.

I want to be very careful when it comes to spoilers but, based on your choices, some of these areas will give off immersive cozy/homelike vibes that really express Noah and the player(Y/N)'s view towards each other. In the old 2023 script I was very new to writing so the small semi-hints of romance weren't the entire focus compared to the horror aspect but there's a better balance between both genres now and I'm still aiming for a meaningful slow burn versus it just being all over the place. :] I liked writing them a whole bunch which lead to a lot of these taking place in the mid/end of Day 4+, they just need to be placed in specific areas that call for it. With that being said, it felt really comfy adding key details about Noah and creating meaningful sections in the game. I was even going to draw out some of the unseen script/scenes but I believe the best thing to do is give deeper lore from the [Extended Demo] first. Even though my writing style has improved I still have to fix the multiple pacing issues I wrote last year.

"Playtester's advice":

I wanted to continue working through Noah's backstory but I kept having moments where I'd get sidetracked into wanting to fix up the start of the game again. Eventually, I talked to my play testers about it and they gave me a few encouraging pointers.

To help keep my process at ease, I will fix the beginning of the game when I take breaks from writing up Noah's backstory. :]

I talked about this during early 2024 but the start of the game that leads up to the cabin is still getting reworked. I was able to get some of it fixed for the [Extended Demo] but I wasn't done. Things are still up in the air but, I will say that I have a better view of everything than I did before. :] Another priority that needs fixing are the backgrounds! I've improved a lot on drawing and they need to be optimized. When you first start up the game, you wake up in a holed out tree in the swamp with the choice to leave this area and possibly end up in the forest. I was going for a very immersive form of symbolism that only a few noticed but, I believe I can do a better job about this. Unfortunately I don't have any new backgrounds to show right now but maybe next week I'll have some finished up! :]

"Art process/Noah's sprite sheets":

As far as Noah sprite sheet goes, it's still in sketch mode.

I didn't draw anything since I was gone so I need to do a few warm ups before I get to them. There are some old drawing prompts I wrote down and old sketches that I never got a chance to doodle so hopefully I can get to them at some point with some attached lore. :,]

My Q&A / Ask box has been reset!

Thank you to those who have sent in asks in the past, unfortunately they all disappeared except for 1 while I was gone. I have no idea what happened but I can only guess it just got reset.

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask or resend them in here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

This is all I have to share so far, Thank you to everyone for the continued support and patience while I was gone! I was ready to accept the interest for this game to fade out and coming back to see that it didn't happen makes me happy, I really appreciate it. :,]

[elbarkla]

Check it out everyone, 3 years of art progress! And I wrote a guide for beginners! 😊

Hi! I’m Laura, age 31. I’ve always drawn occasionally, but never really stuck with it. Frankly it stressed me out. I’d draw for a month, then cry a bunch, then quit for a couple more years. But this time I turned it into a habit somehow. I’ve been drawing near-daily since Feb ‘21 and my life is better for it. Art’s a huge part of me now; it affects how I spend my time, how I express myself, and how I see the world. I feel like a happier, more complete human being.

So here’s what worked for me. This is a guide for hobbyists (I don’t have commercial ambitions) and it may or may not work for you. But I hope you can learn something from it regardless. Without further ado, my thesis:

 ~ Laura’s Steps for Drawing A Lot and Hopefully Getting Better ~

 1 – Manage Your Health 

Know what’s bad for your art? Depression! Glad I got around to treating mine. But for real, if you lack self-confidence you might want to check your mental health. It isn’t the sole factor but it can rapidly overtake the others. Every day I see a post like “how do I improve, every time I try to draw I’m overwhelmed with thoughts I’m bad at everything and a burden to the people around me”. That’s relatable but not a healthy way to see yourself. Low self-esteem can be treated. Please consider talking to someone - you’re a wonderful, lovable person and deserve a happy life.

Also, try to get plenty of sleep and eat regular meals; it helps with everything. Exercise is worth a shot too. Going for walks is good for your mind and body. Yes it’s boring, but boredom gives you space to imagine things.

 #2 – Make It Fun

You’re taking this too seriously. Yes, you. It’s just a hobby. Take the pressure off. Have fun.

What does that mean? It means you need to make art approachable. It has to be a comfort hobby you’re naturally drawn to. That means killing all thoughts of what you SHOULD do. If it makes you want to draw, go for it. Anime characters? Pretty ladies? Fanart? Furries? Doodles from imagination? Zentangles? Pencils? Digital? Do it. If drawing the “right way��� burns you out, draw things the wrong way instead. You know who draws a lot? Children. You know who doesn’t draw super well? Children. Have that mindset. Draw like a child. Don’t compare yourself to others; just enjoy the process of creating something. You had that ability once and I know you can reacquire it.

 Intimidated by an empty sketchbook? Don’t wanna ruin a white page? That’s OK; find something you don’t mind ruining. Grab a half-used notebook and a ballpoint pen. You EXPECT those to look horrendous. If you can have fun filling that notebook, you can have fun drawing regularly, and if you draw regularly you can slowly improve your art. It happened to me. I went from rarely drawing to wanting to do it every day. I still sketch in ballpoint now; it’s fun and comfortable.

Also, if drawing’s NOT fun? That’s OK too! There’s loads of ways to express creativity; go do do one of those. For me it was The Sims 3, then knitting, then drawing. Find something accessible and build your confidence up. The world needs bonsai trees and Minecraft castles just as much as drawings. <3

#3 – Seek Instruction

You’ve made drawing a habit, congratulations! You’ve probably learned heaps already; it’s natural to work out techniques as you go. But deducing art wisdom from scratch isn’t super efficient. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel when you can learn so much from others.

You can do a paid course (great way to meet people), but you don’t have to. All the information’s free on the internet! Teachers will cover the same things in different ways or from different perspectives. There’s no exclusive knowledge; the more you study, the more overlap you’ll notice. It all comes together for a more complete understanding of fundamental concepts.

Here’s some of my favourite resources (currently all available free online)(except the Winslow one which was taken down, boo):

  r/artfundamentals, ie. drawabox.com . A great starter course on how to hold a pen, draw lines, build forms and so on. You can follow structured lessons or just practice whatever you need to.

How to Draw: Drawing and Sketching Objects and Environments from Your Imagination, by Scott Robertson. This book’s the gold standard on perspective and great for technical thinkers. It gets VERY advanced but there’s basic stuff to learn from as well. If the textbook intimidates you, try this excellent video playlist by Dan Beardshaw. He walks you through the same concepts in a simple approachable manner. Vital information if you want your work to look 3D.

anything by Andrew Loomis. He’s an icon for a reason; the Loomis head is a standard art tool to this day. I also enjoy the anachronistic career advice (“all advertisers will pay for a well-drawn head” or whatever it was). Here’s the ones I’ve read and enjoyed:

Fun with a Pencil

Figure Drawing for All It’s Worth

Drawing The Head and Hands

Creative Illustration (my current fave, great for composition)

Classic Human Anatomy in Motion, by Valerie L. Winslow. Hot take – people who say “learn anatomy” to beginners are idiots. SO MANY fundamentals come before anatomy if you wanna draw good-looking characters. You’ll get better results studying proportion, form, gesture, shapes and composition first. But if/when you want to learn bones and muscles, this is the book for you! It’s probably overkill, but I loved the breakdown of facial muscles and how they create expression. Top-tier reaction image material.

Proko!! Fabulous Youtube channel. Not only is Stan a great teacher, he invites on other artists too. Just go to his search bar and plug in a keyword; you’ll always find something helpful. I recommend his channel if you want to draw humans (loads of gesture, forms, proportion, anatomy etc.), but there’s a video or two on everything. Some of my other favourite videos:

Mind-Blowing Realistic Shading Tricks. Simple effective intro to light and shadow, I still go back and learn from it.

How to Draw Dynamic Shapes – FORCE Series Part 3. So compelling I bought the book afterwards. Blew my mind, instantly improved all my shapes and in turn my composition and gesture.

Painting Skin Tones and How Light Affects Color. Marco Bucci’s a genius with colours, he explains value and saturation in such fascinating ways.

Digital Shape Carving with Scott Flanders – good companion to the shading video above, teaches dramatic silhouettes and cel-shading within a really interesting workflow.

Google. Any question. Throw it in. Someone’s made a video or reddit post about it. You’d be surprised! I swear, the number of times I’ve typed “composition tips” or “digital watercolour clip studio paint” or “how draw horse head”.

Remember, take it easy. Don’t burn yourself out. Back off if you feel the tears creeping in. Study should supplement your drawings, not replace them. If in doubt, revert to step 2 – “bad” art is better than no art.

4– Study Life

If you did step 3 you’re way ahead of me on this one. USE REFERENCES. Draw things from photos (or real life if possible). Fill your brain with visual information. Here’s a thread I made for sharing references of humans.

What if you prefer to draw from imagination? That’s fine – try a hybrid approach. Doodle whatever comes to you, then look up references and try again. For example I’ll doodle a bear, then draw from photos of bears, then doodle new bears using the things I learned. It’s fun and also a good way to test your knowledge. You may also enjoy combining different references; eg drawing animal fusions, combining poses with an outfits etc. It gets easier to do the more you practice.

Between art pieces I keep a balance between drawing from imagination, drawing from reference, following art lessons, and studying other artists. Speaking of which –

5 – Study Art

Ever heard “Don’t draw anime until you’ve learned anatomy?” or “Learn the rules before you break them?” I strongly disagree with both of those statements. Fundamentals are great but there’s never a point you stop learning them, and studying life won’t teach you how to stylise. That’s why you also need to learn from your favourite artworks. This gets easier/more efficient as you build your broader art skills, but you can learn styles at any point of your art journey (see – step 2). In fact, it makes study more enjoyable, since stylised art can look better and feel more “you”. You already know what you want to create– why not start now?

Let’s take anime as an example. That’s a huge genre with loads of variation. So, what’s your personal taste? Round and cute, or sharp and serious? Choose your favourite shows and study how they do it. Observe their lines, shapes and proportions. Then try it yourself. Make fanart. Not only is replication good art practice in general, it’ll teach you a bunch of new tricks. For original work, pull from loads of sources, the more diverse the better. Work in your love for Silver Age comics or medieval tapestries or German expressionism. The more places you learn from, the more unique and personal your style will be. Your art becomes a visual scrapbook of all the artists you love. I think that’s beautiful. <3

 6 – Find Community

Art friends! Best thing ever. You can bond over your shared obsession, commiserate over tough parts, and learn about art together. A lot of my drawings are in-jokes exchanged with my BFF. I’ve known them from childhood (lucky) but apparently adults can make friends too. Fandom spaces are great for this; many Discord channels have a dedicated artists’ zone. You can also try r/sketchdaily or challenges like Mermay/Inktober if you want a sense of community.

If you don’t have art friends (yet), that’s OK; parasocial works too! I like watching “Draw With Me” content on Youtube. It’s great to put on while you’re creating, especially when you don’t have the energy for something educational. Not only is it inspiring, you can learn tips and tricks along the way. And of course, you can never go wrong with Bob Ross.

 7 – Be Interesting

The very first step was to manage your health. In a way, we’ve looped back to the beginning.  Because no matter what you do, art begins and ends with who you are. You can practice fundamentals 12 hours a day but if you never live your life, you’ll never make interesting art. No one cares for artists whose only character trait is how hard they grind. So go be the most vibrant version of yourself. Take up weird hobbies. Make weird friends. Seek new experiences. Question the beliefs you grew up with. Read books for a while instead of drawing. Develop your principles. Embrace what makes you different. Survive the worst year of your life somehow. Learn what makes you thrive. Your art won’t be for everyone. But it WILL mean the world to some. And to me, that’s the whole point of doing this. Good luck, fellow artist. The world is your adventure yet to come. I believe in you. <3

[chimivx]

yellow. (5)

pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Female!Reader (ot7)

summary: It's finally happened, you're living your dream. You've landed the job of your wildest fantasies, doing it beside someone who means a hell of a lot to you. It's only been a few months, but it's been pretty easy to settle into this way of life- the constant on the go, the always working, the barely sleeping. Your relationship has been flourishing as well, you and Yoongi working together better than ever... It seems, until now.

words: 6k

warnings: none for this part, still 18+ for nsfw occasional themes, if i missed anything please let me know!

a/n: I have been meaning to post this for a while. It's finally here! Another addition to Yellow, my beloved. Enjoy!! x <3

~ sometime in january, 2016 ~

Adjusting your hair, pulling it back tighter to keep it out of your face, you slap a hand on one of the sheets of photo paper in front of you, furrowing your brows. Giving the men around you a cold glance, you pull your legs up into the folding chair and laugh in distaste, a sound that has half of them writhing in discomfort, afraid they’ve struck a nerve.

“If… If we can’t work something out, we’re going to have to move on from the concept,” a man with straight dark hair says with caution. Flickering your eyes over to him, you frown.

“Move on from the concept? I’m the best one you’ve got,” you spat, “I mean, are you kidding?” Reaching over your knees you fumble with a couple of the sheets, holding one up for the group around you to see.

“Choi’s concept is…” the man directed his attention back and forth from the sheet you held up, to you. As his voice trails off, you shake the photo, rolling your eyes.

“Predictable?” you offer, raising your brows, “Conventional? Ordinary? Done before?”

“Well, I- I- I mean…”

“You- You- You mean, what?” you don’t mean to tease, in fact that’s the last thing you wanted to do to these men, but this wasn’t the first time they turned down your work.

Just because you were a twenty-two year old female sitting in front of them, dressed in your boyfriend's hoodie with your hair twisted into a knot, didn’t give them the right to set you aside like they did with most women.

“We’ve been working with Choi for a long time, he’s the best in the business, we can’t exactly drop him from the project.” Without a change to his expression, the man sits forward, placing his elbows on the table that separated you.

The door to the conference room swings open and slams shut behind whoever walked in, catching the attention of some of the men surrounding you. You remain laser focused, determined to win this time.

“I’m not asking you to drop Choi, I love the dude, but look at my sketches compared to whatever the hell he’s scrambled together.” Shuffling the papers around, you place two of them side by side so the man can do a comparison, narrowing his eyes as he studies the photographs.

“Hey, Suga,” is mumbled from a few of the guys beside and behind you, making you squeeze your eyes shut momentarily. Your heart sinks into your stomach.

The man across from you takes a peek at the commotion, checking Yoongi out, who you haven’t seen yet, then finds you haven’t moved. You’re still attentive, game face on, ready to pounce.

“These are…” the man speaks slowly, gesturing to your photos with a hopeful nod of his head, “Great.”

Sighing heavily, groaning audibly, you say, “Great? They’re more than great, they’re better than Choi wanting them to dance in a ring of fire! Looking like a bunch of satanists…”

“Satanists?” Yoongi says with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around your shoulders that you shrug away in an instant. You still haven��t turned to greet him. Pulling back, he narrows his eyes, stepping to the side of your chair.

“Hello, Mr. Min,” the man says with a subtle smile.

“Mr. Bang Si-Hyuk,” Yoongi says, totally flat, coming across as sarcastic as anything. He touches your shoulder with a finger, dragging it down your arm that was stretched out on the table. “Hi,” his voice is gentle when he speaks to you.

“Hi,” you answer, not as kindly, keeping your eyes pointed on your ‘boss’. Yoongi shifts his gaze to the photos littering the table and smiles.

“It’s insanity, right? Incredible,” he looks at Bang in disbelief, “She listens to the song once, and comes up with… all of this.” 

“It’s… something,” Bang widens his eyes for half of a second. Turning your hand into a fist, you slam it on the table, the aftershock shaking the glasses and pens that were scattered about.

“It’s everything BTS is,” you defend, cocking your head to the side, “You have to keep this storyline going, you cannot have this one video be out of place, do you see the way Army theorizes everything?” Yoongi’s gaze is locked onto you, watching in awe as you speak with a passion he’s only seen in private. “You use Choi’s concept, the entire thing goes out of whack, you hear me?”

“What’s his concept?” Yoongi asks, shifting his glance from you to his boss. Waving his question away with your hand, you ignore him and enhance your glare to Bang.

“Fire isn’t a part of the timeline,” the old man presses his lips into a thin line and sighs, debunking your proposal. Gulping, you feel your hands clam up.

“Does it matter?” you question.

“You just said it does,” Bang says, making you sigh.

“I think she means-” Yoongi begins, but doesn’t get the chance to finish before you’re firing back at Bang.

“The story, the theme, whatever! It’s critical to stay on point with these kinds of things, Army cares. I promise you,” you’re starting to speak with your hands, feeling the anger boil up within you, “They’re gonna talk about it, discuss it more, give it attention.”

“She’s right, and if-”

“Can you please, just go,” you snap, whipping your head to the right to finally look up at Yoongi and his mint green hair. His lips part as if to say something. Instead, he closes them firmly, pouts them, nods once averting his eyes from your own, and sees himself out of the conference room with a frustrated sigh.

Once the door is shut, and it’s just you and the ominous group of men that never failed to rattle your bones, Bang chuckles, toying with the corners of the photo paper. Raising an eyebrow to question him, he bobs his head.

“Trouble in paradise?” he teases, which felt incredibly odd considering he was the man who made you sign the NDA months ago. 

Narrowing your eyes, you respond with confidence, “The state in which my paradise resides is of no concern to you. I’m here to discuss you taking on my concept for Fire. It’s completely original, it screams Bangtan, and it keeps your seven sexy little dancing boys relevant,” Bang eyes you curiously, making you smirk, “Take it, or flop.”

Pushing the heavy doors to the conference room open with haste, you leave the team behind, stepping out into the hallway. Leaning on the wall opposite the doors with his arms folded stood Yoongi, waiting patiently for the meeting to be over. As soon as the doors swung open he looked at you with wide, nervous eyes.

Clamping your folders of photos and sketches under your arm, you hold up your other hand in front of him. Pushing off the wall with his foot, Yoongi hesitates, but then slaps your hand in a high five before the two of you break out into smiles. Tangling your fingers together, the two of you start down the long hall for the elevator at the end.

“Guess it worked?” Yoongi asks, gazing at you as you walk.

“It worked,” you say, defeated, “The man cares more about our relationship than my art,” you roll your eyes, “But, distracting him and acting like a bitch was enough to make him believe that I can do this.” 

Coming to a pause in front of the silver metal doors, Yoongi keeps quiet as team members pass by, giving you a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, dragging your thumb over the back of his hand. Shrugging to tell you he was fine, Yoongi winces, breaking the hold he has on your fingers to grip his left shoulder.

“My god,” he mutters, rolling it slowly a couple of times. Watching him work out the kink, you press the button on the wall to call the elevator, and shake your head.

“You’re working too hard,” you say softly, with a small smile. Yoongi tries to smile back, but groans in pain, tightening his grip on himself. “What the hell did you do?”

“Nothing,” he grumbles, nudging you into the opening elevator doors with his elbow. 

Stepping in backward, you keep your gaze on your boyfriend with worry. As the doors closed, the two of you leaned on the wall opposite of them after Yoongi pressed the floor for the studio’s. Taking his place beside you, your eyes take in his bare face that was focused on the changing floor numbers, and drag them down to his left shoulder covered by his t-shirt.

“Staring at it is not going to do anything,” Yoongi laughs, focused forward.

“I know,” you say quietly, lowering your brows in question, “D, it’s always this shoulder, maybe you should get it checked out.” Watching him gulp, and completely avoid your comment, he turns to you and presses a swift kiss to your lips, smiling when he pulls away.

“Been waiting all day to do that,” he whispers, “Ever since you started working, it’s like I can’t catch a moment with you.” 

“You’re one to talk,” you smize, “Home schedule is busier than a tour schedule… And I don’t know if I’d call this working.” Seeing you frown, he copies you.

“What’s been going on, I’ve been seeing this look for a few days now,” he says, “Do I need to talk to Si-Hyuk, because I will.”

Laughing under your breath you glance up to the numbers that beeped with each change, shaking your head. Yoongi’s frown deepens, his eyebrows turning inward.

“You shouldn’t have to,” you mumble, feeling a tad defeated, “For once in my life I know what I’m talking about, I know what I’m doing… and none of them take me seriously,” looking over to him, his anger fueled gaze makes you pout, “They only want to listen when it comes to you.”

“That’s really unfair,” Yoongi says. Glancing to his lips momentarily, you take a deep breath.

“I expected it,” you admit to his surprise, “I know,” you chuckle when his eyes widen, “I’m a female in the music industry, we never have it easy.”

“I should stay out of… everything,” Yoongi says, nodding his head, “No more coming to meetings, no more scripted midway entrances.”

The elevator doors push open to a floor that is bustling with life.  Music can be heard from some of the rooms already, Yoongi gripping your hand and ushering you out of the metal box when a certain tune is recognizable.

“You don’t have to stay out of it,” you mumble, clinging to his side, “Just… Take a step back, maybe.”

Yoongi comes to an abrupt stop, nearly taking out a man carrying a couple of books. Pushing you toward the wall, he brings his face closer to yours, pecking the tip of your nose with a gentle kiss.

His voice is soft, yet directed with a strictness as he says, “First of all, anything for you. I’ll do anything you say.”

Popping your brows you whisper, “Well, I know that,” and flicker your eyes to his lips.

“Stop,” he smirks, “I’m about to go dance, don't do that to me, I’m already late.”

With a fake pout, poking out your bottom lip, your eyes travel to his shoulder that your fingers started to caress.

“Second of all,” Yoongi drops his tone lower, “Don’t let the old men in our company get to you. I heard JYP is poking around the industry, dying to discover who the ‘ghost director’ of Run is.”

Your lips part as a warmth erupts in your heart. A small, comforting feeling that mixes with a proudness for your work. JYP Entertainment was a huge company, responsible for some big names in the K-Pop world. Sure it’s only been a couple of months since you’ve gotten acquainted with this side of life, but being immersed in it nearly 24/7 made it easy to catch up.

Yoongi smiles, “JYP,” He repeats.

“They just debuted an adorable little girl group,” you whisper, “Twice?” you question, “I’ll have to look it up again.”

“You gonna leave us?” Yoongi’s smile grows as he presses his forehead on yours, teasing you with his words. Averting your eyes for a moment, acting like you were considering it makes him toss his head back with a laugh.

“Whatever makes you happy,” he says, looking down at you. Closing the gap, you press a fervent kiss to his lips.

“Could never leave you,” you whisper.

“Yoongi!” is called from a door down the hall. Both of you snap out of your private moment to look toward the noise, finding a staff member holding his arms out to the side with impatience. A groan escapes your boyfriend as he nods his head.

“I’m right behind you.” Giving his arm a squeeze, you smile.

“How long are you staying?” he asks with hope, eyebrows turning inward.

“As long as you need,” you whisper, then gesture to the man waiting in the doorway, “Go.”

Following Yoongi into the studio after a couple of minutes, you close the door expertly quietly to not disturb the seven working boys reviewing their choreography. Greeting a few members of the staff with a wave and a smile, you tiptoe to a corner and plop down to the floor, fanning your work and folders in front of you.

Flipping one open to the music video concept that was almost completely denied a little bit ago, you sigh and drag a finger across the pastel blue colors you worked hard to create. Every detail in every photo oozed Bangtan energy, it would’ve been a sin if it wasn’t approved.

Lifting the paper, you hold it up next to the boys, closing one eye so they are both in focus. Many feet in front of you, as your eye flickers from the photo to the dancing boys, you spy Jungkook sneaking glances your way.

Once he’s caught, he flashes you the cheesiest smile and waves discreetly, making you giggle. From his side he motions with his finger for you to flip the paper around, and when you do he pretends to gasp.

“For us?” he says totally inaudible, only his lips moving for you to figure out what he’s said. Bobbing your head happily, he tosses his chestnut hair backward and laughs aloud with glee, catching the attention of Hoseok who was the one reviewing the dance steps.

“Ah, Jungkookie,” Yoongi teases, glaring at the youngest in the mirror with a grin. Wiping the smile from his cheeks, Jungkook’s eyes go wide as he looks at Hobi with fear.

“Hush,” Hoseok waves at Yoongi, “He’s been here for an hour, you just got here,” pressing your lips together, you feel your face flush, “Take a break, JK.”

“Me too?” Taehyung asks, rocking his hips side to side, “I’ve had to pee for a half hour.” Hoseok sends both boys away with a few nods.

Clapping his hands together once, Jungkook releases a happy sigh and skips over to where you sat on the hardwood, flopping right down beside you, brushing elbows. Taehyung hurries behind him, but instead of greeting you, he gives you a charming little wink before he slips into the hall.

“Hi,” Jungkook whispers, leaning into you to bump your shoulders together, “What do you have?”

“Hi, Kookie,” you tap his knee with your fist, then glance up to Yoongi who was watching the two of you with a soft smile, “This is…” you trail off, reaching forward to separate more photos to show him, “...what the Fire music video is going to look like,” you say with pride.

Jungkook’s already big eyes grow three sizes. Leaning forward he takes one of the photographs and brings it closer to his face, analyzing the details. The boy really needed a pair of glasses.

“This is… Insane,” he says, glancing at you twice, “I like how the colors resemble Run.”

Pressing your lips together, you smile.

The staff could spew whatever nonsense about your work they wanted. If Jungkook was going to adore it like this everytime, the fight was worth it.

“Does this mean they fired the other guy?” he asks, lowering the sheet to his lap.

Laughing to yourself, you narrow your eyes and shake your head, “Choi?  Nah… he’ll be there,” side eyeing the teenager you smirk, “The other guy,” you repeat his downplay of the director.

Jungkook giggles, baring his teeth, “Is that wrong?” he questions, bumping your shoulder with his, “You’re the only member of our staff I care about now anyways.”

His words send a chill down your spine, your smile faltering.

“Damn,” you mumble, averting your gaze out to five boys dancing in the middle of the floor.

“Hm?” Jungkook hums, cocking his chin sideways to get a glimpse of your expression, wondering if he’s said something wrong.

“Nothing,” you shrug, eyeing Yoongi curiously as he winces and rubs his shoulder, “Think what you said made me realize I’m sleeping with my boss.”

The boy gasps, “Does… Does Yoongi know?”

Shooting Jungkook a funny brow, you say, “That’s who I’m talking about Kookie, oh my god, did you think I meant Bang?!”

“Hey!” Jungkook holds up both of his hands, “I wasn’t going to judge you, just know that!”

“Hush!” gets shouted from the dance floor after the two of you explode into laughter. Hobi had his teacher mode turned on, which meant sunshine mode was turned off.

Both you and Jungkook cover your mouths and cower backward leaning against the wall. A few stray chuckles escape you both as you try to calm down.

You catch Yoongi’s eye across the room, watching him shamelessly flirt with you while his rehearsal is happening around him. After a wink or two he’s making a silly face, then he jumps back into his work without missing a beat. Flowing through the choreography with ease, he was in the zone, totally focused until he had to rotate his left shoulder back.

Which was basically half of the choreo.

“Jungkook?” you lean closer to him so your voice goes undetected.

“Yeah?” the boy says sweetly. The door to the room flies open, stealing his attention briefly. Taehyung hurries back inside, jumping back into place beside Hobi.

For half a second you contemplate whether or not to ask Jungkook what you’re about to ask him, but it has been months of you observing the same behavior from Yoongi and his damn shoulder. You’d already tried asking the man himself what was going on, but his lips were sealed.

Watching Yoongi rub around his neck once more is what does it, you’re asking about it.

“Is he hurt?” you whisper, keeping your eyes fixed on your boyfriend. Jungkook, following your line of sight, finds Yoongi frowning and straightens out his back.

“Uh, no? I don’t… I don’t think so?” he questions himself. Yoongi raises his shoulder, wearing the discomfort in his brows. “Oh, his… Well, yeah. He doesn’t tell us though, he never mentions it when it bothers him.”

You both watch as Yoongi pushes the pain away, following Hobi as he instructs his corrections.

“Why his shoulder though?” you ask, “What’d he do?”

“It wasn’t anything he did,” Jungkook sighs, “It just never got better, from his accident?” The boy gives you a glance, assuming that you’ve heard of this before, “And you know Yoongi, he doesn’t take care of himself and…”

Jungkook kept talking. You were stuck on three words, not hearing anything else he was saying. 

From his accident. 

“…a workaholic too, yanno, so-“

“What accident?” you ask, turning to look at the boy's brown eyes that start to grow wide. A nervousness stirs in your stomach. One that's fueled by minor hurt that Yoongi wouldn’t share this with you.

You’ve caught Jungkook in an uncomfortable place, you can tell he knows he’s not supposed to talk about it.

“The… The bi- He was on a bike?” he stammers, “Has he not told you about this?”

“Do I look like someone who is in the know?!” your tone raises, prompting you to look over at Hobi to see if he’s noticed, “Jungkook, what happened?”

“I shouldn’t tell you,” his conscience would choose this moment out of all moments in the world to make an appearance, “I mean, he should tell you. Yoongi.”

Reaching a hand over to snag one of his, you squeeze it and give him your most sincere smile, “Can I get the spark notes, please? I’ll make sure you’re front and center for most of this epic, one of a kind Fire music video I’m planning.”

Jungkook considers, then copies your smile, “I’m always front and center.” You scoff, rolling your eyes.

“But, if you don’t tell me, I’ll make sure Jimin’s in that spot instead.” Narrowing your eyes, you see fear flash through his.

“Tell Jin he has to go blonde,” Jungkook squinted, testing your limits.

“Deal,” You smile, not missing a beat.

“Fine,” he sighs, looking out at the dance floor. Jimin is nibbling the side of one of his nails with his eyes on Jungkook. “I’ll tell you when we’re done here, okay?”

“Jungkookie!” Jimin calls, making Jungkook clammer onto his feet in a hurry.

“Promise,” he says to you before he jogs to Jimin's side, giving the ginger haired boy a huge smile. 

Jimin wraps an arm around his back, speaking quietly to him, charming eyes on full display. No doubt whatever he was spilling was him trying to persuade Jungkook to do something. The kid had trouble saying no to Jimin, and vice versa. You’ve noticed their friendship is the most mischievous, both were willing to take things just a little too far.

Resting your head back on the wall you shift in your spot a bit to get more comfortable, these rehearsals were notorious for being excruciatingly long. Music begins to play, Fire, of course, and it makes you smile.

This song was at the forefront of your brain at the moment, all of your creativity was pouring from this one source specifically. Hearing the tune now you’re reminded of your project, the ideas coming to life in your head while you watch the boys dance. Images of blue, pastel colors while it was simultaneously grungy and edgy.

Keeping a watchful eye on your boyfriend, you study his behavior, anxious to find out what underlying factors are causing him so much pain. Taking the past few months into consideration, he’s never once complained of his shoulder being in pain, but he wasn’t too great at hiding it from his face.

The night in New York City, the night the two of you walked for that wonderful hour, Yoongi was affected by it twice. Now you’ve come to learn that it has nothing to do with his work, and everything to do with the fact that he was in an accident. One the jerk never thought to bring to light.

“Don’t go,” Yoongi mumbles, lips pressed against the side of your neck, “Stay tonight.”

The elevator dings, a cue for the two of you to step apart. Standing beside one another, you to his left, you side eye his shoulder, pressing your lips together, firm. The silver doors in front of you open and close, without any lingering passengers added to your trip.

Yoongi leans back into you, expecting you to open your arms up like they were, but instead you grab his left bicep. Noticing the slight frown gracing your lips he raises a brow.

“I’ll stay, but we gotta talk.”

Nodding, he hesitates a moment before whispering, “What did I do?”

“It’s nothing you did,” you roll your eyes, giving his arm a gentle squeeze, “Well, it’s really… It’s something you didn’t do.”

A trillion thoughts flash through his mind, it's almost as if you watch it happen in his eyes, “Is this a girlfriend mind trick?” he asks, standing as still as he possibly can, “I don’t think I’m very good at these, can you just tell if I forgot something, your birthday isn’t until-”

“No, it’s not a girlfriend mind trick,” you smile, cutting him off, preventing a ramble. Your eyes fall to his shoulder as he heaves a sigh of relief. 

Mindless words tumble from his mouth, probably some of gratitude, considering it had only been a couple of months and he wasn’t prepared for you to already be upset with him over missing a date of importance. You attempt to listen to what he’s saying though your eyes are glued to his shoulder, but it’s hard to absorb the words when your own brain is consumed with the thoughts of him being in an accident so bad that he has to live in pain.

Did it happen before he joined the group? Was he actively an Idol when it happened? Was he young? Was he hospitalized? Did it affect anyone else? Had there been any surgeries? Do his parents know? Jungkook knows, so the boys know, but does anyone else know, does anyone else care?

The grimaces that grace Yoongi’s face when he dances conjure the utter opposite feeling of Hoseok’s bright smile. Your boyfriend jokes about not being the main dancer, and not caring much about not being the greatest, but he didn’t hate it. He didn’t look miserable over that, he looked miserable because he was in pain. And he didn’t seem to be doing anything about it.

“Baby?” Yoongi questions, tilting his chin down to meet your line of sight, “C’mon, we’re here.”

Tearing your eyes off of his shoulder you glance toward the elevator doors and find Taehyung hanging inside holding them open. The other six boys had gone downstairs before you, planning to meet on the ground floor to go to dinner. The charmer in the doorway gives you a smile, raising his brows, his eyes widening a bit as well. His chubby cheeks and lightened pink hair were heartwarming.

“Where’d you go?” Yoongi asks, linking his arm beneath yours, guiding you out of the elevator, shooting Taehyung a quick thank you, “I only see you zone out like that when you’re drawing.”

Focusing down on the floor, your heart burdened by off-limits information, you shrug, “Just thinking.”

A few feet ahead of you Namjoon and Jungkook are laughing at Hoseok, the sunshine digging fun at a few of the dance steps they had rehearsed today. Jimin and Taehyung soon join the mix, the two unable to keep away from any type of commotion, and just as anyone could possibly predict, Jimin soon became the center of attention. Jin waited by the door, keeping a watchful eye over his friends.

“Thinking about what?” Yoongi looks at you, pulling your arm to keep away from the group until you give him an answer. “What you said in the elevator? About what we have to talk about?” You nod in response to which he says smug as ever, “I’d love it if I could have a preview. Mull over it at dinner, prepare my documents, receipts and statements before we discuss?” You guys were truly meant to be. You asked Jungkook to do the same during rehearsal.

He makes you laugh, a small sound he tucks away in his back pocket for later when you possibly won’t be smiling at all. There’s a subtle hurt in your eyes that he can’t quite place, one that scares him a little. Big things had happened today, and big feelings were felt. Certain feelings you’ve been having since you started to work for his company.

“You’re really gonna quit aren’t you,” he nearly whispers, “You’re already signed with JYP, I knew it, he may as well debut you with Twice, join the girl group, I love you, I support you-”

“Shut up,” you smirk, huffing a laugh, tugging at his arm, “I’m not signed… Wait. Did you just…”

Yoongi caught it at the exact moment as you, his lips parting in shock.

“I- I- I mean, I’m…” For a moment he’s flustered. He’s unsure of how he allowed those words to slip, he was saving them for hopefully a romantic moment, definitely not while standing in a hallway with six of his friends seven feet away. He meant it, of course he did, it’s been swelling within him for the last few weeks, dying to come out, but the fear of it scaring you kept him from saying it. 

 For once you were finally doing what you were supposed to be doing, what you dreamed of doing- creating art, and having said art be seen by the world, or in this case, millions of BTS fans around the world. You were well on your way to success, he didn’t want to cloud your vision.

The soft, small smile that began to appear on your lips was reassuring enough that he hadn’t in fact scared you.

“Been waiting for that,” you say quietly, “I love you, too.”

Yoongi breathes, “You do?”

His eyes were full of stars, lighting up the second you said the words, warming your heart, turning your cheeks pink. Laughing at his response you hook your arms around his neck and peck a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Of course I do,” you whisper, brushing your nose over his. “I love everything about you.”

Yoongi’s arms circle your waist, tugging you close. A smile appears as he whispers, “Are we skipping dinner?” Your heart takes a tumble.

“I think so,” you giggle, glancing at the boys by the door who’s attention has turned to the two of you.

Hanging onto Taehyung’s back, his arms slung around his shoulders, Jimin watches with enormous puppy dog eyes. Leaning on the door beside Jin, Namjoon and Hobi, who wears the ghost of a smile, glancing away when you catch his eye, exchanging a few quiet words with his friends.

It took a while for their looks to no longer alienate you, as nice as they all were. Not one member made you feel unwelcome, if anything they did their best to make you feel like one of them. Still, coming between seven guys, who work and live together, as a girlfriend? Terrifying.

The relationship you shared with Yoongi you’d only discussed with Sunny, and a little bit with Jungkook if you caught his ear. The teenager was fascinated by the two of you, and though quiet, he sure had plenty to say about your relationship. He was the one you’d use for help, especially when it came to the industry you worked in. Jungkook was observant, he was smart, and good at just about everything without even trying.

Taking him in now, a tiny thing with his hands folded behind his back, he was smiling entirely too big. There was a hopeless romantic in there hiding behind those pure doe eyes, you were sure of it. He lived vicariously through you and Yoongi, since the start.

Though Yoongi always found it a bit funny, teasing you whenever Jungkook got a bit too close, saying the maknae was crushing on you, he must not be paying attention to the longing glances the boy snags of one of his friends. Preferably the one with the ginger hair, latched onto Taehyung’s back with an incredibly adorable pouty face.

“We need to get you guys some girlfriends,” you say quietly to your audience, making half of them laugh. Jungkook whips his head with eyes the size of saucers towards Jimin.

“Please!” The dramatic boy groans, rolling his eyes as he slides off of Taehyung's back. Jungkook gulps, glancing down to his feet.

Catching a glimpse of the scene you narrow your eyes and say, “None for you, Jimin. You get plenty of attention.” His jaw falls open as a chorus of laughter rolls out of his friends. “All for Jungkook, how ‘bout that?”

“Why?” Jimin snaps, suddenly standing up straight, the dramatics dropping in an instant. His hands fell down by his sides, his gaze hardening the slightest bit.

Jungkook, with his chin pointed to his chest, watches the two of you with his eyes, fidgeting his fingers along the hem of his shirt. It seemed as though no one in the room knew anything, except you three. Were they oblivious? The seven of them spent too much time together, there’s no way nothing has been said, but then again, none of them can keep their hands to themselves so maybe it wasn’t obvious.

If so, you intended to keep it quiet. That is, until Jungkook is ready to say something. He would come to you, you knew he would. Getting closer with him these past months you knew he didn’t share an affinity for your gender like some of his members, he didn’t have to say the words. You grew up in New York state, you spent college in the city- you knew enough queer people to know.

So you’d wait until he was ready. That didn’t mean you couldn’t poke at Jimin to see where he stood, hoping Jungkook would catch onto what you were doing.

Tonight he did, and he sent a smile your way after Jimin threw his little fit. You prayed he knew that you knew. He was the youngest, currently the smallest. It was impossible not to feel like you acquired some type of big sister responsibility, and seeing how Jungkook enjoyed clinging to your side sometimes, the bond was formed without needing to discuss.

“Okay, enough,” Namjoon chuckled from the door where he took a step away from Jin, “Let’s eat, please.” A round of groans of approval this time sounded from the boys instead of laughter.

“Oh, uh,” Yoongi speaks up, loosening his arms around you, holding up a hand to catch his leader's attention. Your stomach did a flip, you hoped they wouldn’t mind you guys not attending this dinner. Namjoon and Jin both turn around, the eldest holding the door open for the members to file out while keeping his attention on Yoongi. “We’re… gonna skip out.”

A smirk tugs at Jin’s lips, and you’re reminded that you need to convince him to lighten his hair. That’d be a job for Sunny. The boy couldn’t resist her charms.

Namjoon simply releases a breath and shrugs his shoulders, saying, “Jimin’s turn to pay anyway, two less people to worry about.”

“Damn it!” You sneer, stamping a foot on the tile beneath you. Namjoon laughs, knowing you’d want to tease Jimin some more. Yoongi smiles, sending you a funny look with his brows pointed up.

“Have fun,” Namjoon nods, then turns to head out the door Jin was still propping open.

“Yeah,” Jin sing-songs, “Have fun.”

“Get ouuut,” Yoongi rolls his eyes, swatting a hand at his friend, eyeing him as he walks away, the door swinging shut behind his broad back.

The second you two are finally alone, Yoongi tugs you back into his body, tilting his chin down to try to plant a kiss to your lips, but you’re quick to miss it. Jutting your own chin backward, you give the smallest, most innocent smile you’ve ever pulled. His eyebrows flip over, and they scrunch a bit in the center of his forehead underneath his mint colored hair.

Amidst the ‘I love yous’ and the teasing of his friends, it seems he’s forgotten the two of you have something to discuss. Skipping going out to dinner he assumes you’ll be his dinner, and after you talk to him you fully intend to allow him to make a meal out of you, but you need answers. 

More importantly, you need to figure out why he’s kept this from you, especially since it’s been hindering his life daily since you’ve met him.

“What’s the matter?” Yoongi whispers, giving your back a sweet rub. His deep brown eyes dance between yours, curiosity unfolding within his irises. He was entirely too endearing, the way his brain has wiped away any interference of life just because you’ve said three words that’ve changed the trajectory of your relationship. It was adorable. 

Going back to the day you met him you aren’t sure you could’ve imagined him acting this way.

Pulling a hand over his left bicep, you give it the gentlest squeeze making Yoongi’s expression shift slightly. Giving his shoulder a look, you sigh, still wearing that innocent smile.

When you meet his eyes again, he shares the same appearance of knowing in his eyes that Jungkook had mere minutes ago. He knew you knew.

 Standing to your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, you whisper, “Let’s go for a walk, D.”

VEGAS TAGS! ~ Thank you &lt;3 ( I'm sorry for being a slow updater :') )

@ahewlett @damn-u-min-yoongi @my-dark-happy-place

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[lostfirefly]

something bad happened to me today and as always, I write a sketch after it to cheer myself up)

*knock, knock*

"My love, can I come in?" Catherine knocked gently on Buggy's office door.

"Go away!!" He shouted from behind the door.

"What? Why?"

"I said go away, Catherine!"

She heard the sound of a bottle breaking.

"I'm not going anywhere! I'm coming in! You can throw whatever you want at me, I don't care." Catherine slowly opened the door and stuck her head in. "What happened, little bear?"

As Catherine entered the room, the scene before her eyes immediately filled her with a sense of dread and despair. Buggy was sitting on the couch, his body slumped and his gaze distant, a half-empty bottle of whiskey clutched tightly in his hand. The amber liquid sloshed around as his trembling fingers struggled to maintain their grip, a testament to the depths of his despair. But that was not all - on the floor, mere feet away, lay another shattered bottle, its contents spilled and seeping into the worn carpet.

"Cabaji said you were sitting here and didn't want to come out."

"Why, Catherine?" Buggy looked at her with eyes red from tears.

"Why what?" She narrowed her eyes in incomprehension.

"Why are you with me?" He took a sip. "There was a cute man sitting next to you on the show today. You looked good together, but for some reason you chose me!"

"Oh, my blue-haired love." Catherine locked the door, tiptoed to the couch and sat down next to him. "That's why you were upset."

"I'm not upset!" Buggy took a sip. "I'm not. I just don't understand why you chose me, who could theoretically get a stone thrown at me, over a normal man."

"Who would throw stones at you or any person?! You'd have to be a complete idiot to do that. And if anyone dares to do that, woe to them, because I'll rip out all their organs in a second!" Catherine gently placed her hand on Buggy's shoulder. "Who told you that you aren't normal? You are a million times better than any man, my love." She moved her hand to his back and started stroking it. "You're smart."

"Yeah, I'm stupid!" Buggy took a sip again.

"Nope!! Remember how you solved Amset's riddle?! You put together a constellation. How could a stupid person do that? And you won me from the gods."

"Big deal, yeah."

"A big one! What kind of man could do that? Only a brave and smart one. And you're handsome, even though you deny it. And you make me happy. Look!" Catherine pulled her phone out of her pocket. "I sent Jules this picture when you left for a mini-tour. Look how sad my eyes are." She scrolled to the next picture. "And this is when you came back. See? Look how happy my eyes are. And look how good we look together."

"Yeah. The princess. And a red-nosed freak who paints himself like a clown." Buggy gently pushed away her hand with the phone.

"So what? I like your makeup. Sure, it's hard to wash off afterwards, but it's like you leave an invisible mark on me. And you tell everyone." Catherine imitated his voice. "Hey you, a bunch of idiots! That's my woman! Fuck off!" She wrapped her arms around his neck. "And you take care of me. You bring me flowers and cookies. You cover me with a blanket when I fall asleep on the couch. And you make delicious coffee in the morning. And you make me laugh. And I love you. Just the way you are. With your mood swings, with your red nose, with your makeup. You are my heart, my soul, my everything, Buggy. You are my the most favorite clown in the whole word!!" She kissed him on the cheek. "If I knew that I would be so happy, believe me, I would have gone to look for my sister a couple of months earlier, to meet you earlier!"

"Cathie-pie..." Buggy exhaled and took her hand. "I.. Well..."

"I know, my love." Catherine pressed her forehead to his temple. "You know what? Let's go home. On the way, we'll stop by your favorite pastry shop and buy you some eclairs. And we'll stop by and buy you your favorite hot dog. What do you think?"

"Sounds like a fucking good plan." Buggy chuckled.