#like. that's it. that's literally eddie's whole deal. he thinks he needs to protect his loved ones from his burdens

[after-the-end-times]

Eddie's Never Been Chill a Day in his Life

For @steddieholidaydrabbles Prompt: Chill 🥶 Rating: G 🥶Words: 793 🥶 cw: none 🥶 Tags: Established Relationship, Corroded Coffin doesn't understand, Eddie has no chill, Eddie Munson loves Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington loves Eddie Munson

“Oh, will you chill? It's not a big deal”

“Chill? Chill?! Ha!”

Eddie strikes a dramatic pose, one hand on his hip, finger on his lips and, despite the smile spreading across his face, his eyes are wide and angry staring down his friends.

“No, I don't think I will chill! Because I tell you, my best friends, my band, my comrades in arms, that I, Eddie Munson, have finally got myself a boyfriend and you, what? Say I can do better? Tell me you don't like him?!”

Eddie throws his head back laughing.

Gareth looks at Jeff who looks at Freak. They sometimes forget how scary Eddie can be when he turns his dramatics up to 10.

Which means it’s even more creepy in the quiet after Eddie’s laughter cuts off. A car door slams on the other side of the garage door. Jeff’s mom probably getting home from work.

“Dude, we just mean he isn't really- You know.”

“What? He isn't the best thing to happen to me? He isn't the kindest, sweetest, most self sacrificing man that I’ve ever met? Because guess what guys! He is. He's all that and more. He's funny and sarcastic and goofy and so so smart!”

“Eddie, he's a jock! You've always said-”

“And I was wrong! Ok!?” He blows out a harsh breath, continuing calmer “I was wrong and I judged without knowing. So what if he likes sports? He has hobbies and interests. Isn't that a good thing? Or would you rather I be with someone boring? Someone who thinks and acts just like me? So we can just sit there and stare at each other, because we have all the same opinions about everything? 'Cause, actually, I think I like it better this way.”

“Ok, ok we get it. You like him." Gareth huffs out a laugh.

Jeff adds with a chuckle. "Guess even you couldn't resist a pretty face, huh?”

Eddie scoffs. They just don't get it.

“Of course he's breathtaking. But he's all the more beautiful because of who he is inside. Don’t you get it yet? He has a gaggle of children who he loves and would do anything for. He has a best friend who he would literally get tortured for to spare her any hurt. He's even friends with his ex and the guy she cheated on him with! He's just so kind and forgiving, and yes it’s sometimes more than I'd want him to be, but that's- He's just so- I just- I love him.” He looks at them with wide pleading eyes. “Ok, guys? I love him and he's gonna be mine for as long as I can keep him. So, you guys just need to get with it, I guess.”

Eddie runs out of steam after that and crosses his arms protectively across his chest. He's still building his strength back up and he's been gesturing wildly for his whole rant.

The door on the side of the garage opens and Steve steps inside, shivering. The tip of his nose and ears are nipped pink from the cold, his hands are red and slightly trembling; he’s clearly been out there longer than it takes to run from the car to the garage.

“Steve.” Eddie breaths out and walks over to take his hands in his. He cups them and brings them up to his mouth, warming the frozen finger tips with his breath.

Steve’s gaze, so wide and hope filled, has been locked on Eddie since he came in.

“Do you really?” He finally asks, in a low voice just for them.

Eddie flicks his eyes up to meet Steve’s. For a fraction of a second he considers asking what he’s talking about, maybe playing off the moment with a joke, but no. Steve deserves to know. And he wants Steve to know.

“Steve,” He kisses the finger tips at his lips, still so cold, but finally warming. “I love you.”

“Eddie.” Steve’s shaking, though whether it’s still from the cold or from the force of his emotions, Eddie’s not sure. Either way, he suddenly has an armful of a Steve Harrington who is laughing so joyously, like it’s the only way he can release the amount of happiness that has suddenly over taken him. He gasps in a breath. “I love you, too, Eddie. Oh my god, I love you so much.”

Eddie pulls back grinning, he needs to see him right now, needs to see the joy he’s put on Steve’s face just by loving him.

Oh, Steve is glowing.

And in that moment, Eddie knows, without a singular doubt, he’s going to spend the rest of his life making Steve glow with happiness.

And they’re going to have a beautiful life.

~Fin~

[disheveledtranquility]

I'm gonna call it: Sleeper is in this one. Just under different circumstances than the comics.

Eddie and the symbiote gets captured (the whole 'area 51' joke from the second movie) and they're separated while on the run.

Eddie starts feeling drained, exhausted, sick, and hungry like he first did when he first merged with the symbiote. But Eddie knows he's alone now, truly. Alone and on the run by himself.

They're both being hunted, both looking for each other. But Eddie is at a disadvantage. The symbiote knew this.

This can go one of two ways: something happened, and the symbiote failed to inform Eddie, thinking it was the best choice given the circumstances. And the symbiote growing inside him is slowly gaining enough awareness to protect him. To keep him safe until they can reunite later.

Or Eddie was told before the separation, and Eddie spends his time on the run trying to keep both him and the new symbiote safe while trying not to die in the process.

I'm hoping I'm right because of this part in the trailer here:

This scene looked off to me. Eddie's symbiote is stark black, and even with the lighting, the symbiote tendril shown seems more desaturated to me. Which makes me think this isn't his symbiote. Also, Eddie's reaction right before reaching out to it:

At this point, this isn't how Eddie is going to be reacting to his symbiote. And in these quick few frames he's almost shaking, hesitant. It's after the helicopter crash and Eddie looks healed.

So what healed him? And who is he reaching out to?

Little Sleeper, who he gets to meet for the first time. Sleeper has bits of yellow/gold and red, so the hue would fit.

Because another point in this scene snippet jumped out at me. After the crash. Eddie hunched inside but clearly not dead. But in pain and clearly emotional.

That helicopter is obliterated, having crashed from the sky with him in it. And there is literally no one else in sight. Not even human remains. So how did he make it out, virtually unscathed?

Maybe this is where Sleeper is strong enough to make an appearance, and to assure Eddie that he's not alone, that he's still protected. That together they'll find Eddie's 'other'.

Please if we can't have Dylan can we have the other Symbrock child, I need the world to know they have canon children.

Sleeper may be just offspring from Eddie's symbiote that Eddie helped nurture, but the fact that the symbiote wanted to raise it to be good, with Eddie, fucking sends me into outer space.

Would have loved the hybrid human/symbiote child Dylan who has the power to control symbiotes, but since this is the last movie...I'mma just cry to myself. Please give us Sleeper. Let Sleeper be the loving child of theirs.

Plus..."we have something he needs"

'we'

Not I, as in Knull wants to devore the symbiotes to take back the power. We. Eddie and his symbiote. It's specific.

Sleeper ends up being hella powerful. Enough that it can exist without a live host. Eddie being able to bond with one of Knull's symbiotes and form a mutual emotional bond with it to create such a being ( two when you count Dylan ) is a fucking threat on every level.

I mean, why is the separation of Eddie and his symbiote the theme here?

"This world can't survive if you stay together."

"If Venom lives, everything will end."

'Venom' of course, being Eddie and the symbiote's merged name. Which takes on a WHOLE new meaning when you think about the fact that Toxin is telling that scientist that if Eddie and the symbiote remain together...Knull is going to send that army. Because Knull doesn't like a good threat to his kingdom. And considering Eddie's symbiote betrayed its race just to be with him...

No one wants to deal with what Venom (Eddie and his symbiote) can create. Too powerful to control and too fearful of the possibilities. But that doesn't stop them and I'm really hoping I'm right.

I could ted talk about this all day.

PLEASE SONY. I'M IN YOUR WALLS AT NIGHT.

[skarkkk]

I can't stop thinking about 911 ep4 and I need to freak out. So I'm going to freak out here so that other people freak out too, because my god, that ep is perfect.

First point: Bi Buck

My happiness to finally have this, to have Buck truly be part of the Canon community is limitless. Like, can you imagine how important this representation is to people in real life? A man in his 30s, a "macho" firefighter who until then had only had relationships with women, discovering that he can like guys, that he liked kissing a man. I can literally imagine how Buck might feel about this and the whole coming out and accepting yourself part. Because he is an ally and he is an incredible man, but imagine living with parents like that, growing up not knowing that part of yourself and that whole "this is not a phase, this is who I am" part and him accepting that. Because Buck has always been someone more sensitive to his own emotions and I hope this is portrayed in his self-discovery and, God, I need him to finally be happy being who he is. Being Buck. I want him talking to the team and realizing that he doesn't need acceptance from other people (the world) when he has their real family. I want Maddie's reaction because since season 2 she had already told us that Buck wasn't straight (even if they were jokes). I want everything Buck deserves to truly feel good and happy.

Second point: Buddie

I want them, I need them. But not this season. I think people think so much about finally having them together that sometimes they don't really think about how (me, for example, in my outbursts). But Buddie needs to be developed calmly and even more carefully. Because it's not just about friends to lovers, there's a whole background. It's not just them getting together because, imagine finding out you like guys too, then you realize you're in love with your best friend and how do you deal with that when everything is so new?

I want them to be canon more than anything, I need it and I'll probably die if it really happens. Buddie had a long development process, from the beginning of their friendship until this season. Because they are best friends and even went through the divorce phase. They raise a child together, Buck is Chris's father and their jealousy towards each other was clear. The worry, the care, the protection, the anger, the affection, they felt so much and I think a rushed start to their romantic relationship would ruin everything because they really need to feel it. That emotion of "I love him and I won't hurt him again", because these boys are a disaster. I think the process of them going from best friends to lovers will be confusing, especially because Buck would probably be terrified at the idea of being in love with his best friend and ruining everything between them again (the process) and Eddie wouldn't know how to deal with the his first bi crush being the person he cares about most (after Chris). Like, I need them, but not this season. I want them next time, I want their relationship to be built with sensitivity and not with loose ends. Not in the process of their self-discovery, because while I can imagine how sweet it would be for them to have all their first times (minus Buck's first bi kiss, because we have Tommy) together, I can imagine how wrong it could go. Like, I don't know, buddies have always been full of emotions and intense scenes and I want that in their relationship.

Another point about Buddie is that I want it to happen, yes, but my priority is Buck and Eddie's happiness, even if that means they don't stay together, you know. I would cry, a lot, and live on fanfics, but I don't want something forced between them, because I love how everything always seems spontaneous in their friendship and I want a romantic relationship like that, you know.

Third point: Tommy

I love this man. Like, I wasn't the biggest fan in eps begins, but I never hated him. I've loved the actor since I met him in SWAT and I love that he (and Olives, obv) are willing to play LGBT characters. The point itself is that I want Tommy to gain focus too, both as a member of the 118 family and as Buck's love interest.

I have theories and I've read theories (in fics) about why he was that way in eps begins and I can understand. I don't remember exactly what happened because my memory is terrible, but think about it. He, like Eddie, was part of the army (and we love gay stories between soldiers but we know how they can be in real life), and was under the release of a captain who had prejudices, yes. We don't know about his past, his family (at least I don't, besides fanfics) so the probabilities of why he was repressed and followed the old captain's orders are several. The one that holds me the most is fear and possibly internalized homophobia. In the army, we imagine people who don't break and who can handle whatever comes at them, and speaking of men in the armies, they are not seen as sensitive (stereotypes), and this is how the community tends to be seen by homophobes and the like. Now imagine a bi guy coming out of the closet and imagine the reaction. Another point is the old captain and how Tommy seems to want to be part of the 118 family (now), so I can imagine that he repressed himself to be part of the old "family" (not that I see them as family, because they weren't).

Talking about him now, I love how sweet this man seems to be. In the sense of understanding, we saw that he has that sarcastic and smart-ass bone that the whole team has (I love the scene of them going after Bathena). And the fact that he really worried about Buck and the possibility of ruining their friendship (Buck and Eddie), the kindness of the kiss (my god, I can't forget that kiss). I can really imagine Tommy being a guy who would understand Buck's discovery process, who wouldn't react badly to being the first man, the experiment (as I've read in fics). I think he would understand that Buck really has feelings for him (because we can't deny that the sparkle in Buck's eyes is there when he looks at Tommy) and that he's willing to really try something with a man even if he's scared (I hope, amen ). I think Tommy is the right guy to be Buck's first. And he knows 118 (to a point) and they're friendly, Eddie likes him, Chris likes him, and Chris and Eddie have strong opinions about people (the team too, of course, but talking about family Buddie, romantic or not between Eddie and Buck ). So Tommy already has the approval of the people most important to Buck, this already proves that he is a good person.

I want more of Tommy (god, I love this man)

Fourth point: Tuck (what's the name of their ship???)

I want to see a stable, healthy relationship between Buck and Tommy. I loved their chemistry, their kiss. And like I said, Tommy seems like the right guy for Buck's first times with a man. I think their relationship would be really cute to watch, both as a couple and in the process of developing it. Buck doesn't have a very good history with encounters, because he always tends to get hurt from them. I want it not to be like that with Tommy, I want them both to feel comfortable and to be really happy with each other. (I would love a Karen/Hen style scene in the ep where they get together for the first time).

I wouldn't mind at all if they were endgame (of course, again, I'd cry for Buddie, but I'd love it). I wonder if Buck will take him as his date to Maddie's wedding (because that would be a confirmation of their relationship, you know). I keep imagining so many possibilities for meetings and scenes between the two of them (as long as both actors feel comfortable, of course. Again, I love them.)

Now, if it's not endgame, there has to be an amicable ending, one that doesn't hurt either of them and they remain friends. Because I think it would be really sweet to see their friendships continue. The most important thing if the breakup happens (... I really hope not, despite Buddie) and that they don't put a woman as Buck's date next time and simply forget about his sexuality, treat it as just another open thing, he knows.

In short, I need more of them because I can't stop thinking about them

Fifth point: ep5

I have a lot of thoughts about what we've received so far.

First, the meeting. I think people are dismissive of Buck's reaction to both Eddie arriving and "it's my first date with a guy" because, firstly, I think it's important for Buck to feel comfortable. Imagine being so nervous about not doing shit, wanting to feel comfortable and good about being on a date with a man you like romantically and then your best friend (who thinks you're straight) walks up with his girlfriend. I hope Tommy understands that Buck didn't mean to treat him disrespectfully or that he didn't want the date, because we know that's not what it's about. I hope there's another date, one where Buck feels comfortable relaxing without the pressure of being with people you know because he's still discovering himself, and he needs to feel comfortable for that to happen without him feeling bad about it. , he knows.

Second, the strangulation. I love that Buck gets hurt anyway, but what gets me the most is Tommy's reaction. Because he wasn't there the other times (the plane, the bread, Lola, the truck, the tsunami, the shooter, the post-Daniel fire, the lightning. And those are the times I remember he almost died) when Buck almost died (and in the case of lightning, he died) or got hurt and I want to see how he will feel about the person he likes (because love still seems too early, again, I want it to be treated with sensitivity, not rush) getting hurt . I want to see him going after Buck and being careful and having a sincere conversation about the first date (we don't know how long it took from the date to the call) and feelings, and then I want a kiss and Tommy taking care of Buck (because this man doesn't know how to take care of himself).

I think that's it, actually. Of course, I still want to freak out a lot more.

Another point not related to Buck is Ravi. I loved that he was back (even if just a little). First, I loved his curls. Second, I loved his interaction with Buck and Eddie and him having no idea what's going on. I really want Ravi to be a main character, I want focus on him and his story. Like, I can only imagine what it's like to live your childhood with cancer and then become a firefighter and his trauma with the pier (traumas don't end that easily). Anyway, I want to focus on Ravi and more of him with Chimney (I love the brothers' relationship). I also want him having a romantic interest in someone (May or Albert, please) and him being pan (even more unlikely, but I can dream.

And I love the headcanon that Ravi thought Buddie were divorced, or that they were a couple so I want to see his reaction to Buck with Tommy.

Bonus: I don't remember the script exactly, but there's also the apparent scene where Eddie tells Buck to call Tommy (I think). So two points, Tommy wasn't an idiot because then Eddie wouldn't tell Buck to call him. And Eddie supports the two of them - if you take it in the sense that Eddie is supporting knowing that it was a romantic date, not a guy date. Or encouraging a friend to make peace with another.

And I'm pan, and probably ace, and probably bi gender too, so I know a little about the community, in case anyone thinks I'm just another straight guy talking without having any idea what he's saying, you know.

And that. For now.

[byclairs]

Lucas's arc seemed like he deserved to be put in his place and recognize that he was wrong for believing he could hope for better? And they did not even focus in his character that much. Most people say Mike has a spectacular forced conformity storyline waiting for s5 when we had a forced conformity storyline for Lucas but it was so sloppily written. I thought the forced conformity narrative is suppposed to be written good in any case for poc too, not just for your white character that you send a message with.

it feels like the duffers just don’t care enough to convey a cohesive message for lucas’ arc and/or don’t know how because on the one hand they’ve acknowledged several times the racism he faces both on and outside the show so they can’t even play dumb and yet they then constantly downplay what he goes through and so you end up with scenes like the end of s4 where he basically learns to know his place or whatever like..lucas is not in same boat as someone like mike who’s mainly bullied for being a nerd. he’s ostracized in a way that mike and dustin will literally never understand but the show almost never makes any attempt to show how he deals with that yet it’s explicitly talked about in an official book from his perspective (and i know lucas on the line is not technically canon but it’s still tied to netflix/st and if they had someone in the writer’s room who could’ve incorporated even part of the type of material from the book into the show i think it would’ve done wonders to flesh out his story) like i’m sorry if you’re gonna acknowledge that his situation is different than the rest of the party’s then you need to put more care into following through with that because the whole “i thought i wanted to be like you—popular, normal” scene was just..it felt like they were insinuating his main reason for joining basketball was just to be cool when we know it’s a lot more complex than that; he was trying to protect not only himself but his friends too even though they don’t face the same shit he does. and possibly even enjoy something new in the process god forbid. and you would think that he was ditching his friends and other interests for the basketball team when that’s not what happened at all? like he never started acting aloof with them or ignoring them, he was still very much in hellfire and he never turned his back on them he even used his status on the team to lure them away from where eddie was hiding even though everyone was saying he killed chrissy and lucas didn’t know what was going on yet. he never let his desire to fit in turn him into someone unrecognizable who needed to be taught a lesson and that’s why it pisses me off so bad that he was made to feel this deep regret in the end as if he made some huge mistake that he learned from because in reality he’s never been anything short of a loyal friend or strayed from his morals. and to top it all off mike and dustin get off the hook without having reflect on how they hurt lucas because apparently you should never support your friends unless you fully understand and agree with the things they want 👍🏼 idk.

i also think his conflicting feelings about helping his (ex) girlfriend deal with her grief for her canonically racist brother who traumatized and literally almost killed him would’ve been really interesting and important to explore especially since that most likely relates to the reasons he started feeling like it was urgent to fit in more in the first place but. none of that because this boy’s feelings are never taken into account

i also think everyone should read all of this

[lover-of-mine]

okay so: opinions on buddie having a confession similar to the jolink one at the end of 19x20?????

(I know jolink have more of a romantic/sexual past than buddie do currently, but when I first watched that scene all I could think about was buddie, because of the fact that the kids were included as part of the speech but not the main focus, and the whole 'I'm so in love with you. How do you not see that?' bit and so many more reasons that have escaped my brain right now)

(Also full disclosure: I'm not a fan of jolink as a couple, and wish they'd stayed as friends, but I do love the buddie parallels/vibes they give me 😅😅)

((Sorry this was long!!! 💚💚))

(just to get it out of the way, I was fighting and kicking and screaming at them putting jolink together because they had such a great friendship and damnit media needs more friendships between men and women who are straight but not trying to get with each other)

I'm kinda obsessed with the idea of getting something like that now that you mentioned lol. I mean, there would have to be some adjustments, I feel like a lot of it works the way it does because they slept together and decided to say it was just casual, with the way they explicitly draw the line and said "no we are just friends" and I feel like that wouldn't work as long term as they played it with jolink when applied to buddie (not unless they want to make us suffer more for a few seasons but if buddie sleeps together then wakes up and go nah we should just be friends is never gonna happen again, I'll burn something down), but I am legit obsessed with the idea of Buck hiding behind Chris for a change and just snapping, listing things about loving Eddie and Eddie is just staring at him with his exasperated husband face and going "you idiot I love you too". If they kiss in the rain too I would spontaneously combust (with the lightning and the well and every bad thing that happened to Buck involving water and the way the moment they start getting along involves literal fire, the symbolism behind them getting something good in the rain would be everything to me really)

But since we're talking Jo, I rewatched the perfect storm the other day, that's why I ended up making the parallel between April and Buck, and I keep thinking about a situation like when jolex gets together. The whole they have a huge fight, Jo tells Alex to stay away from her, then she shows up hurt, Alex gets all protective, he's about to say it, but then the tree falls into Alex living room, and they ignore it until Jo says she doesn't deserve it, that she'll ruin it and Alex is all you asked yesterday you wanted to hear it I'm gonna say it but them he freezes, and she's all i don't hear anything, and they banter a little bit before Alex finally says he loves her and they kiss. I feel like if we get a proper build up with buddie where everyone is aware of where they are going and they keep fighting against it until something snaps but right before they actually do something the universe intervenes, and have them dance around the fact that they almost said it dealing with an emergency, all while the tension between them keeps getting higher, until they finally get a moment alone and they can talk and Buck is all we should just forget it, you're my best friend, I'll mess it up, depending on the nature of the emergency that stopped them you can even add a line of like "that was a sign, the universe was stopping us from making a mistake" that Eddie could counter with his level is skepticism "I don't believe the universe speaks to anyone and you wanted to hear me saying it so I'm saying it" and then freezing and having them banter back and forth until one of them says I love you and the other goes in for the kiss, could work. And it would be one hell of a scene.

So the conclusion here is that Jo has very buddiecoded love confession since Alex and Link get the best friend place before things evolve and either one of them makes for a killer getting together scenario for buddie.

[andvys]

hi andy 🤭 how are you my dear? i just finished reading the new chapters and im soo excited for the next ones 👀

She chuckles when she notices how embarrassed he looks, she walks into the kitchen, shaking her head in amusement. 

i would die from embarrassment if my mom found a half naked man i brought home in her kitchen

“O-Oh and Eddie, I really don’t want to have to tell you this but, please use protection, my daughter is too young to have a baby.” 

I WOULD KMS I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

“Pancakes?” 

omg i'd do so much for pancakes rn 😔

“It’s fine, you finish that later, you’ve been stacking them up all morning, go eat something, kid.” 

omg our boss is so nice

“I’m so excited to see Steve and Robin in their uniforms.”

ME TOO

“Are you really ready to see them? I bet Steve is wearing booty shorts.” 

PLEASE LET THIS BE TRUE

“Out of the way, lovebirds.”

ERICA THE BEST GIRL IS HEREEEE

You only see half of his outfit as he is still behind the counter, yet, you can’t help but giggle, not because of the shirt but because of the pink cheeks, he is embarrassed. 

HAHAHAHAHA SMILE FOR THE PICTURE STEVIE 😁📸

Eddie snorts, “damn Harrington, turn around, show us the booty shorts from the back.”

PFFFFTT HAHAHA

“I don’t know, the shorts are kinda doing it for me.”

PLEASEEE IM GIGGLING RN

It’s something he had done before, hell, it’s something that you have done before. Yet, it feels different. His touch feels different. It makes your heart flutter. 

oh? 🤨

“Is that enough flavor for you, Munson?” 

OMG HAHAHA THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE IS SO HILARIOUS

“I’m not taking flirting advice from someone that blushes when he gets fed. Jesus christ..”

gagged him (literally)

You belong with him. 

damn okay taylor swift

“Dinner and a movie night?” You suggest, “Heather is throwing a party but I don’t feel like going.” 

me everyday cause i hate parties

“Sounds perfect to me, bab– s-sweetheart,” he clears his throat. 

eddie 🤨

‘Maybe next time’ sounds like a nicer version of ‘no, thank you.’

oooh BURN

His brows knit together. He watches the way you look at him. His breathing stutters when your eyes continue to stare at his lips. But you are confused and completely lost. Why? What are you thinking about?

GIRL

“I’m trying new things,” he shrugs. 

honestly y/n is so real for telling him to keep his body hair because i get it girl... 🤭

“M-My stupid bikini – the knot–”

THE BRA IS A PAID WINGMAN

“There’s only one girl for me,” he whispers as he puts his hand on your shoulder, turning you around carefully so he can see you, so he can look into your eyes. 

OMG OMG

There is still a chance, right?

idk steve you tell me ......

i really like the way this is going... a bit messy, a bit drama, just a perfect mix 🤭🤭🤭 - honey anon ♡

HIII!!! i’m so happy you like the new chapters!!

scoops ahoy, the uniforms and stobin is what i’ve been waiting for, i was so excited to finally add this lmao. steve and his little booty shorts made me so happy (reader too)

steve really gagged eddie😭 (i need more steve x eddie in this actually)

“damn okay taylor swift” LMAO he’s the taylor swift from the 80s

i’m so happy you’re still here and loving this chaotic story🩷😭

i’m doing okay!! i did some christmas shopping yesterday!! how are you doing, love?

[reqvlvs]

id personally like to address a few things ive been seeing in response to monday's episode because i like putting my personal opinion into places people don't want it :)

first off, need i remind some of you that Maddie has a mental illness? mental illness isn't rational. to her it seems like she's doing the best she can in order to protect her daughter. while we are aware that this is not true and that'd she'd never purposefully hurt her daughter, Maddie doesn't see it this way. some of you Maddie antis are using this to prove that she's a bad person or a bad sister to buck and it is really fucking annoying. buck is a grown ass adult. he doesn't need his sister to rely on so that he can have stable mental health. i get that he loves her and hates seeing her hurt because everyone with a relationship with their sibling gets it, but buck will be fine. can we, for this one, just focus on Maddie and hope that she gets home and she gets better instead of focusing on how bucks dealing with it? this is not to say that buck isn't going through it and that buck doesn't have a right to be sad, i just wish we could take the time to acknowledge Maddie is not a bad sister and that she does love buck, but she for this once needs to take time for herself.

second. read this very slow so you'll understand what im saying. eddie would never, EVER threaten anyone. this one's specifically for you fanfiction writers. a lot of you take Eddie's overprotective behavior towards buck and you think he'd literally kill a man for buck. while it is true that Eddie will do anything he can to protect buck, he would never go to chim and threaten to hurt him if he "ever touched buck again." like i said before, buck is a grown ass man. he knows how to figure out his own shit. Eddie loves his team, they're his family, he's protective over all of them. sure there might be slight preference towards buck simply because of how close they are, but he would never go up to chim and threaten to hurt him over a split second mistake. you all took Eddie's Street fighting arc and just ran with it, making him out to be a violent person. when Eddie was street fighting, he was going through a lot of things that he didn't know how to handle. fighting was just a way to get out everything he was feeling, albeit in an unhealthy way, but he didn't know how else to do it. he's grown since then. he's realized he can deal with his emotions in some other way. that whole POINT of him going to therapy was so be could work through this issues without violence. and and regardless, if there was anyone would understand what chim is going through, it's eddie. he too has been left by his child's mother before. he understand the emotional termoil that comes with becoming a single father out of nowhere. he understands chim. he'd never hurt him.

third and finally, i do not in anyway blame chim for punching buck. i really don't. while everyone has no doubt been going through it since Maddie left, chim has really really been going through it. he's been left alone with his daughter and his girlfriend could literally be anywhere. a situation like that is understandably emotionally taxing. he's going through a lot right now with almost no way to regulate his emotions. he's angry at himself, he's sad no doubt, and he's scared with no way to regulate this emotions properly. of course he was going to snap eventually. so when he found out that buck had been talked to Maddie, every emotion he was feeling bubbled to surface just exploded. of course, violence is never the answer and chim did make a mistake but i understand why he did what he did. and most importantly, he will apologize. once he's realized what he did and how he hurt buck, he will apologize, because chim understands and grows from his mistakes. you people just have to give him some time jc.

also to the fanfiction writer i saw saying that when Maddie came back that she should be mad at chimney "for not looking for her" a giant sincere, fuck you. chimney has literally been working himself to the bone in order to find her specifically as she said NOT to. Maddie might be slightly upset about went on between chim and buck but she would never be mad at chim for not looking for her. jesus christ y'all, i fr sometimes think im not watching the same show as everyone else.

anyways, feel how you feel about the latest episode, just make sure you take into account what is going on around theses characters and their actual personality traits. shit is happening and they're all going through it. and that mine friends, is the second installment of opinions no one asked for

[whateverthedragonswant]

Eddie clearly wasn’t ready to date since he’s not over Shannon think this will be a factor in the eddieana breakup??

Hey there, Nonnie! I do actually. I think this breakup will be a hugely complex thing for Eddie's character on so many levels. Even if it happens as simply as him saying "Yeah, this isn't working" and Ana saying "Yeah, you're right. Later", it will still be a huge multi-faceted development for Eddie himself.

I think several things will come into play here. #1 I think it will force him to confront or deal with this issue of repression and what that all means. #2 I think it will force him to confront his feelings for Buck and what that all means. #3 I think he'll be forced to at least think over why he let the relationship with Ana go on so long when Carla pointed out to him four months ago that he needed to make sure he was following his heart and not Christopher's (and then we saw his reaction seeing Ana and Christopher together plus the shooting which definitely brought his feelings for Buck into the forefront). I mean, we all knew he needed to figure it out for himself but four months? That's quite a stretch of time. And #4 exactly what you mentioned.

Eddie clearly wasn't ready to start dating again when he did in 4x06. He only did that because he was prodded (albeit gently) by Bobby into moving on and letting go, and he did what he thought Bobby wanted him to do. He trusts Bobby and the man was one of the first people he connected with when coming to the 118. Not to mention there's that whole chain of command that Eddie absolutely takes seriously, and he feels more of a connection to Bobby now because of the loss of their families that they both suffered. Bobby literally lost his whole family and Eddie lost Shannon but also the idea of the complete family he had been hoping to achieve through his relationship with Shannon. Because he wanted to make up for what he viewed as his failure to do so the first couple of times around, to achieve it for Christopher's sake, and also because he loved Shannon.

So Eddie definitely was not ready to start up a relationship with Ana or anyone else for that matter at the time he did in 4x06. I think by this point, Eddie still grieved Shannon but he also had feelings for Buck. But Buck had also become a comfort zone for Eddie. He was completely comfortable with their routine and how their lives had settled at that point. Christopher was happy to have Buck around, Buck was reliable whenever they needed him, Buck had his back at work and in his personal life, and Buck was even beginning to co-parent Christopher with him. Buck had essentially become everything Eddie was looking for in a partner (emotionally) without putting an official name to it. I think Eddie absolutely realized this and that's why when Abby showed up in 3x18, it affected him as strongly as it did like we saw. Abby was a threat to that routine and comfort zone. And even though he finds out she's engaged the same time as Buck, he gets irritated when he finds out not only that Buck is willing to risk his life but also not willing to come clean with Bobby exactly why he was willing to risk everything to save Sam. That's why the dramatic storm off. And why he almost kind of made sure Abby was aware of his presence next to Buck in the end of the episode. I mean this framing after all of those events happening is so purposeful:

Not only because all of the couples were paired up in this sequence (so this definitely shows where they're headed) but also because this is who Buck is for Eddie in this moment: his partner in everything but name. And then you have Eddie feeling the threat from Hildy (the future) in 4x03 and him disconnecting the internet as a protective measure while Buck and Christopher are there playing video games in the Eddie's house where Buck really isn't a guest, acting like a family which is cemented by Eddie looking right at Buck when Christopher asks if they can go to Buck's house instead. One parent looking to another parent to back them up and their son. This is what Eddie was not ready to give up. Buck was his safety net but his feelings were also safe. He didn't have to try his hand at dating (and Buck wasn't dating either), he didn't have to move on, Buck fit into his and Christopher's dynamic extremely well, and Eddie wasn't forced to think about the future or about his failure (what he views as his failure anyway) of achieving that complete family for Christopher. He was getting what he needed emotionally and what was helping him get back on the path he needed to be on, to lose some of that insecurity and being lost that Ryan talked about in the season 4 Eddie story video. And the bonus was that Christopher was, too. (which is why Buddie + Christopher works so well and should be endgame but I digress). Eddie wasn't being forced to do anything he wasn't ready to do and he was able to take as much time as he needed and heal if that makes sense. Until the universe (or the show) started looking to force him out of that comfort zone in season 4. In order for his character to grow and to get him out of his holding pattern. Which is exactly why we got scenes like: Eddie gauging Buck's reaction to the news that Eddie saw Ana again, Eddie teasing Buck like normal about the books but Buck mentioning Ana in front of the 118, Eddie's discomfort when the 118 pressed about Ana, his emotional response to Bobby pushing the issue, him letting Buck go in that truck scene ("I needed your help. We needed your help. You were there." *Eddie looks down at Buck who looks down*), and then him doing what he thinks everyone including Bobby wants him to do which is ask Ana out. We see that this isn't what Eddie really wants, he's nervous, shy, and not all that sure. He feels better once Ana tells him she's glad that he called and from there begins their relationship. But we don't really see Eddie relaxing into the relationship even after that. His guard is up and he's still digging his heels in and resisting the change completely. It's only after Christopher assures him that he likes Ana, that he starts to relax slightly. And then boom, a couple of episodes later, he's trying to present the perfect picture to Carla (who immediately sees through it), thinking this is what they all wanted him to do, that this is what they all meant by him needing to "move on". It's only when Carla pops the EddieAna bubble that we see the beginning of his realization that while he likes Ana, not everything is as perfect as he wanted it to seem, and Carla is not buying what he's selling. And he now cannot buy it fully, either.

So to go back to your ask, Nonnie, I absolutely do believe that him not being ready to date since he wasn't over Shannon and what they had will absolutely be a factor in their breakup. I know a lot of people want it to be about Buck (and also just the fact that Ana clearly isn't right for Eddie and Christopher) and I'm not saying those won't be important factors as well (because they're definitely all intertwined) but his not being ready to date I think will absolutely come into play. Because it only makes sense. Yes, he had feelings for Buck before he started dating Ana (which is why we saw him ask Buck out twice for all intents and purposes, he wanted Buck with him and not just for the comfort zone and the dynamic they had going), but those feelings never pushed him to go one way or the other. It's like when Chimney says to him in 3x13: "Maybe Albert's right. Things with Maddie are great but we're not exactly lighting the world on fire" and then his reply of: "Does it matter what he thinks? Only you know how you feel about Maddie." And it's no coincidence that when Chim says "So maybe fiery is overrated" the camera shows Eddie looking up and then we see Buck popping his head in to let them know they needed to do a lineup. And then of course Eddie tells Chim to tell Maddie he loves her because you never know what can happen tomorrow, and then we see the purposeful scene of Eddie asking Buck out for food right before Chim does the same with Maddie. Eddie had feelings but Buck was unaware and Eddie wasn't being forced to act on them or do anything about it, so they were safe. And it also gave him the time he needed to heal from Shannon's loss and build up a whole new complete family dynamic for him and Christopher that he really wants but isn't sure he can have (because even if he isn't ready to start dating again, Buck is), especially when people like Ana and Taylor come knocking on the door.

So I think all of this will absolutely come into play not only for Eddie and Ana's breakup but also for Eddie himself and this world of revelations he's going to have about himself as a character. Since he obviously is repressing something anxiety which turns into a panic attack and doesn't want Buck to know about it. The show has drawn a ton of parallels between Buck and Shannon, and Ana and Shannon. They've also drawn a lot of contrasts, too, all in the name of showing who really is the ideal partner for Eddie not just in the story (and makes sense) but also who Eddie wants which will result in him following his heart, and which will funnily enough line up with Christopher's heart as well though he's not technically following it.

As far as Ana goes, I think Ana knows something and whether it's something she and Eddie have talked about offscreen or it's something she's keeping to herself remains to be seen. But they made it very clear to us in 5x01 that Eddie and Ana's relationship is strictly physical and I'm not just talking about sex (though that's implied here by not only what Ana says, Eddie's reaction, but also through her no longer being dressed as a school teacher and popping some cleavage that we haven't seen her sport before). Ana is dressing him up, wanting to show him off to her family at the christening like Buck says, and then of course the whole mention of liking to get Eddie undressed as well. Then we have the shot (which mirrors the shot in 4x13 when Ana is standing by herself while Eddie, Christopher and Carla reunite) where she's standing by the tie display case, smiling as she looks over at Eddie and Christopher in front of the mirror. She's doing the exact same thing Eddie was doing in 4x13: trying to portray the perfect picture. Which is why the mirror shot and the dialogue between Eddie and Buck earlier and of course Eddie asking "You really like getting me dressed up, don't you?" and Christopher not liking the suits and thinking he looks bad in them. Their ideas of the perfect picture are different but their desire for them are the same. The relationship isn't working and they know it. Hence "I'm just a friend." Ana knows.

So when it comes time for the breakup, I am not 100% sure if Shannon will be mentioned but I think there's a very good chance. I think the show purposely made sure to include Shannon in the context through the suit parallel/contrast (funeral vs christening, Chris outgrowing the old vs the new) and of course Eddie's panic attack being triggered by Ana being mistakenly referred to as Christopher's mother. Plus, Shannon has been mentioned before by both Ana and Eddie during their interactions. Will it be in the context of Eddie not being ready to date? Quite possibly, but I'm not sure if Eddie will bring that up himself. He might know it, might have realized it, but I don't see him delving into it with Ana. If anything, I have a feeling Ana would be the one to mention it. And by Buck not being physically around (that we've seen so far), I'm not sure Buck will be part of the breakup discussion or not. But Shannon? Absolutely.

Sorry for my rambling, Nonnie, I have tons of feels about Eddie rn lol. I hope I answered your ask thoroughly. Hope you have a lovely rest of your weekend!!! <3

[tigerdrop]

so i saw da venom movie and ive been chipping away at Ideas over the past few days. here is one of them: The One Where They Kiss For The Second TIme

theres spoilers under here b/c it takes place at a very specific point in the movie so like. u have been warn

ive been thinking about the whole "reuniting with venom" thing, ok. like. im a huge sucker for the whole "two characters are separated from each other due to Emotional Conflict and then realize how much they miss each other and have a big emotional joyful reuniting moment" trope. and i think that there is a lot of potential there that we didnt get to see for one reason or another......like.....by this point, eddies had venoms tongue shoved down his throat and has been fucking bridal carried by venom. venoms been stubborn and obstinate and kind of a dick, but hes also been doing his level best to make eddie happy despite that. he comforts eddie about his emotional problems with anne. he protects him from every form of physical harm, not just b/c he needs a host but b/c he likes his host. he makes this stupid asshole Breakfast! and i feel like, after that whole reconciliatory scene btwn him, anne, and eddie, maybe eddies had some time to contemplate their relationship and just how much he fucking missed venom and also kind of sort of maybe wants to kiss him

SO. that said. i think once they get back to eddies apartment, theres a lot of feelings racing thru his head. theres the undeniable happiness at being reunited with somebody who he clearly missed, who clearly missed him. but also like......now hes got some real confusing shit up there that he wasnt ready to divulge yet! but venoms a part of him. he can tell eddies wrestling with something about him, something about anne. so he probes. why is eddie being so fucking cagey??

eddie insists that its not about anything. him thinking about being tongue-fucked by venom-and-anne is all about wanting anne back. the heat that rushed to his face when venom carried him to safety was about being dommed by his epic girlboss ex-gf. but that is so very clearly not fucking it b/c venom can feel every single physiological reaction he has. he can feel eddies racing heart and heavy breathing when he lets his tongue loll out

he can front as much as he wants that it has nothing to do with venom and that it has everything to do with his very normal, very female ex that hes still harboring feelings for, but its a little hard to hide that kind of thing from an entity that is literally sharing his body and mind. doesnt stop him from trying, though. eddies backed up against a wall, hands up in a nervous defensive gesture, while venoms upper body lurches out of him and his bemused, toothy face leans in close, like he can physically sniff out where that discord between eddies words and eddies thoughts is coming from if he gets close enough

and eddies all stammering and mealy-mouthed and having a hard time meeting venoms eyes as he insists that hes a red-blooded heterosexual male, okay, hes not really into that kind of thing. to which venom just snarls, liar. hes been in eddies head, hes seen memories of past flings and hes seen the way eddies eyes linger a little too long on men of a certain persuasion. so, okay, yeah, hes bisexual, so what? thats not that big of a deal. its 2021. who hasnt kissed a dude before?

venom mulls this one over. "so do you want to kiss me, eddie?"

"thats a-- cmon, man, what would i even be kissing? theres nothing-- its all teeth!"

venom grins at him, baring all of them. "you didnt mind before. not with anne."

"yeah, well, thats-- thats different! that was all her!"

that just gets something like disappointed condescension out of venom, which is a new one. eddie didnt even think he was capable of that kind of emotional granularity. "eddie.....she does not even like you like that. not anymore. it is time to face facts. you are a loser, and anne is not the kind of person who wants to kiss losers--"

"jesus, rub it in, why dont you!" eddie tries to push venoms face away so he can stalk to the couch and sulk, embarrassed and annoyed, but venom doesnt let him off the hook that easily, trailing after him.

"but i do."

one of the things i think that eddie would have a very real issue with is the fact that venom, is, like. not human, sure, but in a way that suggests that he doesnt fully Get the rules of being a human. in his mind, venom cannot possibly fucking get the intricacies of a human romantic relationship b/c he barely understands that there are things humans can and cant do, socially speaking. as far as he knows, venoms only motivations are survival-centric. eat brains. protect eddie. stop bad guys from doing bad things that would threaten them.

hes not entirely fronting here when he says that venom only kissed him b/c it was anne acting through his body. literally why would an alien, from outer space, want or understand the desire to do a very human courtship ritual? (and why does eddie even want to do them with him in the first place?? thats a level beyond weird, okay, and he was just gonna use their little trial separation period to wrangle those ideas into submission.)

but like......venoms not entirely ignorant of those things, either. you cant spend that much time in human society, in the physiological confines of a human body, sensing their thoughts and their desires and seeing what they see and interacting with their environments without picking up on some things. one: sure, he might not have gotten the idea to kiss eddie on his own, but he did it nonetheless. and it felt good. thats something he gets. it felt good, to have eddies hands clasping at his face and eddie gasping into his mouth and to enter him that way, all hot and slick on the inside. he likes feeling eddies heartbeat kickstart, whether its from a kiss or from the excitement and fear of sneaking into someplace he shouldnt. all that neuronal activity sparking off like fireworks inside his mind when hes on the beat, investigating, when hes navigating his motorcycle through congested SF traffic, when his minds racing just thinking about what to fucking tell venom right now

and like, yeah, sure, venoms an alien who reproduces asexually. doesnt mean he cant pick up a thing or two about how humans work. when eddie starts running his mouth a mile a minute about how venom doesnt even know what humans do in a relationship - clearly, since they barely have a functional one themselves - imagery from soap operas and animal planet documentaries and eddies own fragmented memories flashes in venom-and-eddies minds eye. yes, he gets it. mating. reproduction. that might not be his style, but what venom does know is that eddie himself doesnt even do those things to reproduce. humans do it because it feels good. venom wants to make eddie feel good. he gets a deep thrum of satisfaction when he flips back through those memories of eddie-and-anne, those lidded eyes when she pulls his hair and yanks her tie around his neck and--

"hey, hey, hey! get out of there! thats private!"

"but you were thinking about it," venom pouts.

"its-- you know, have you ever heard of that thing with the polar bears?"

"no. what bears. what is a polar bear--"

"not important! its just, like, if somebody tells you not to think about a polar bear, what are you gonna do? youre thinkin about the polar bear now! and right now, theres a lot of frickin polar bears that are really hard not to think about!"

"why are you thinking about polar bears when you should be thinking about me instead. you dont even want to kiss the polar bears. you want to kiss me--"

"not important!"

it is extremely important, actually, because venoms right. eddie does want to kiss him. he wants to kiss him so bad he could just up and die about it, and he just might, because this conversation is killing him. theres only one person on earth more stubborn than eddie brock, and its the symbiote staring him down an inch from his face. and hes-- hes kind of running out of excuses. its a two-way link between them, okay, and hes feeling what venom feels, too

the point being: eddie wants to kiss venom. and venom wants to kiss eddie, very very much. eddie can feel that strange hunger thrumming in his head like its his own. so venom suggests that they should just.....try it. just once, youll like it. and if he doesnt, then they never have to do it again. and by this point, eddies so fucking embarrassed and strung out by this particular conversation that he would do just about anything to get venom to stop thinking about fucking animal planet documentaries with HIS brain! and HIS eyeballs!

so, in that stammery, mumbly way of his, he acquiesces. they can try it. but-- but how is he gonna-- like, last time this happened, venom was on somebody else. in somebody else. but right now, hes just kind of......a floating head, hovering over his shoulder. hes not sure he can get into it like that.

no problem! his good ol buddy venom just exudes out of him, taking more of the form that eddies used to sharing with him, but.....outside of him. tethered to him by those black tendrils, wrapping around his legs and waist. eddie has to tilt his head up to look venom in the eye like this, and his hearts kickstarting again, just as hard as it had before. venoms, like, right there. grinning at him, so close they can feel each others breath. and then venom rests those big, clawed hands on the sides of eddies face.

"hi, eddie."

"hi, venom," he says back, high and squeaky.

"im going to kiss you now."

"okay, great, cool, awesome--"

and then venom cuts him off by leaning in and licking into his mouth with that long, long tongue, and its over. hes done. it definitely, 100% was never about anne, was it. it was about this: venoms tongue shoved down his throat, intrusive and overwhelming, the moment he gasps for breath. surging up against him and pressing him to the wall, toes just starting to clear the floor because venoms fucking hoisting him up and eddies scrabbling at his shoulders in an effort to keep his balance

its less of a kiss than it is eddie being tongue-fucked properly by an alien parasite, yknow. his face burns like nothing else, hes making choked little groans into venoms open mouth, and those tendrils crawl up his legs and waist, subsuming him from the bottom up. venom presses into him the way a human lover would: crowding him in, jamming something between his legs and pressing upward. but each scrape of pointed teeth against his mouth reminds eddie that he is distinctly Not. and just like venom can peel away each of the defensive layers of his mind to get at his gooey, wretched innards, so too can he feel what venom feels, think what he thinks:

eddiegoodeddiefriendeddietastegood

his whole body pulses with heat, so intensely that it makes him nauseous. theres no dancing around here - it goes from 0 to 100, as youd expect when one of the parties involved doesnt have, like, lips or anything. just a long, slick tongue and sharp, sharp teeth. the fun parts. black tendrils yank eddies hands off his shoulders and pin them to the wall instead, and no amount of struggling can get them to pull free. theyre stuck fast. all of him is, actually.

before long, hes totally, utterly helpless. under venoms thrall. feeling a sinuous something crawling into his hoodie, creeping up his stomach and pulling his shirt upward. and eddies never felt blood rush to his dick so fucking fast in his life. he has to breathe solely through his nose, trying desperately to wind his tongue around venoms as if hes playing much of a role in the matter. it feels like venoms trying to crawl inside him from every possible avenue - mouth, skin, lungs--

but not the way he wants (which he? venom? eddie?)--

eddie chokes suddenly, trying to jerk away, and it takes venom a sluggish couple of seconds to draw back and let him cough and wheeze properly. he cant-- he cant even look venom in the eye. sclera. whatever.

what was that?

(this is where it ends probably. theyve got the whole rest of the movie to get to and i personally dont think they fuck until their honeymoon at the end but. yknow. i had the thought and then i couldnt stop thinking. Bye)

[wanderingwomanwondering]

911 Eddie/Buddie Thoughts, eps 413-501

*a long post and no gifs, I’m so sorry*

Can we talk abt the fact that in 413 bathena have an argument about not being partners and how that parallels eddie’s tendency to be an emotional loner, not revealing his heart until his feelings bubble over? He struggles to trust/confide in others bc he struggles to trust/be honest with himself abt how he feels/what he needs. His reasons are diff than athena’s but it’s still a parallel behavior.

Also in 413 eddie is helping a kid who’s mom is hurting him. That feels parallel at least partially to shannon abandoning christopher which caused harm. Eddie is focused on the kid/christopher, focused on helping him…to the complete exclusion of himself and his needs. This is why he chose to continue with ana supposedly for chris’s sake despite carla’s golden advice. Tho we all suspect that chris doesn’t like ana as much as he lets on/as much as eddie wants to believe. But that’s a side note rn.

Then cut to the end of 413, the gunshot scene. Knowing what we know now from 501, basically eddie taking that bullet is a catalyst. The beginning of the end of loner, partner-averse eddie. It’s the start of him needing to reckon with his own wants needs and desires. He’s not going to stop considering chris obviously but he does need to look at himself his life his heart and what makes him happy. Remember Shannon’s complaint in their marriage was that she needed a partner, and now he’s reckoning with the fact that he wants/needs one too, and not just at work.

There are one or two very grounded non-clown ways to read that gsw scene bc dude was just shot out of the blue and there was plenty of shock and fear to go around. But through the clowning glass, we can also see it as a reiteration that buck and eddie are in fact partners in a big way. They just rescued a kid together just like they’ve worked tirelessly together to save countless other people before him. They are partners. At work. I would argue also in life but I’ll get to that later.

Eddie’s prolonged eye contact with buck, reaching for him. Buck’s shock and terror, staring deeply into Eddie’s eyes and watching him bleed. That whole scene begged the question “now who’s going to save eddie?” Literally and figuratively.

The show starts with the literal answer. buck. It’s finally buck. In 414 he hauled him up, dressed his wound, begged him to stay with him and to live. In Eddie Begins, buck was an onlooker, eddie saved himself in true eddie fashion, but in 414 buck ran point on saving him. Buck dragged him to safety, buck lifted him up, buck stopped the bleeding, and buck served as his lifeline begging him to stay/live.

The other interesting thing I noticed about the scene in 414 in the fire truck on the way to the hospital is that *eddie is not wearing his saint christopher medal*. Buck rips open his shirt to stop the bleeding and the medal is not there. It’s absence is loud af. I squinted to see if it had just slid to the side when buck laid him down but i couldn’t see it at all! Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Anyway that choice, to have the medal not be there or not be visible in that particular scene is huge bc that entire sequence from gunshot to arrival at the hospital is just abt eddie (and buck). In a way, in those scenes at least, buck is wo his armor (firefighter uniform) and eddie is wo his armor (the medal). They are vulnerable in those scenes physically (out in the open, exposed to the shooter) and emotionally (not shielded by their personally meaningful protective items). Combined with the staring and the reaching it’s a big indication that things are abt to get deeper between them (fingers crossed).

Back to 501. remember eddie’s been shot before, in combat. I think what makes the sniper situation important is not just that he could have died (he’s been there done that got the silver star) but that he’s not who he was the last time he almost died by gsw. He’s in LA now, he’s not in the military, chris is growing up, he has the fire fam, he has buck, he’s a widower. Eddie is growing, changing. starting to recognize his emotional needs bc for the first time in his life there’s room/opportunity to do that in a big way and not necessarily have it implode his marriage, piss off his family, hurt chris, or ruin his career. IF he actually confronts himself head on and deals with all the stuff beneath the surface. Repressed. This gunshot isn’t exactly abt his mortality but his quality of life. asking him what’s his life abt and more importantly how can he be his whole authentic self complete with his very own emotions needs and desires embracing love care and support leaning on others. Remember in that one therapy session he had those are the things he wants for chris. Now he has to find and choose those same things for himself.

In 414 by the time eddie is in the hospital, the medal is back and prominent in every scene. He’s back to framing his relationship with buck in terms of chris. But he’s the one making decisions for chris. What he wants for himself and for buck isnt irrelevant here. If it was all abt chris and only chris i think eddie would have told buck abt the will ages ago. If it was all about chris and only chris eddie maybe wouldn’t have struggled so much to say that he made buck chris’s legal guardian if he dies. Nah. I think eddie sees buck as his partner in life too on some level but he couldn’t accept/say that plainly. He had to make it abt only chris in his head in order to be okay with linking their trio of lives together forever through the guardian decision. I mean eddie didn’t even tell buck abt the legal guardian decision bc he was shot, he told him bc buck thought he was expendable! Instead of shaking him and saying you are not and never will be expendable to me, he chose to disclose the will. It was effective for sure. Evan heard him loud and clear. But wow you gave buck a whole ass person, like the person most important to you in the world?? And didn’t say anything until you survived a sniper an effing year later?? That’s a hell of a choice!

Anyway i really hope eddie and buck are on their way to being together bc i can’t take much more of this. Before they get there tho my dude eddie has a lot of work to do this season!

I reference 408 and go into more thoughts on 501 here. I blab abt the heart transplant metaphor in 501 as well as my spec abt parts of 502 by extension here. I am dying to talk abt these arcs y’all like srsly so feel free to rb/comment.

[doeeyeseddie]

Eddie Diaz Week Day 4: “I don’t deserve this.” + guilt

buck/eddie, 1.7k. [read on ao3]

Somehow, it’s always in the middle of the night halfway through a gruelling shift that Bobby finds Eddie going through some shit.

Their last call was a nightmare, more people DOA than still alive, and even more they lost on scene. It’s been silent at the station since they got back, most of them trying to find comfort one way or another, dispersing to call their loved ones if they can, or into the bunk room to try and block everything out.

Buck has stuck close to Eddie’s side the whole time, both to comfort and to be comforted. It should be scary, how well Buck knows him, that he knows exactly what Eddie needs without ever having to hear him say it.

Eddie never wants to talk after these kinds of things, doesn’t see the point in rehashing things he can’t change anymore. And he’s never been particularly great at talking about his feelings, still isn’t.

Buck knows all of that and respects it, even though he’s way more of a talker than Eddie is. He hasn’t tried to broach the subject with Eddie at all, but he’s been by his side since they got back to the station, a solid warmth at his shoulder, reminding Eddie that he’s here and alive. So Eddie knows Buck hasn’t talked about it either.

Earlier, they’d been sitting at the table next to each other, touching from shoulders down to their ankles, and Buck had taken out the notebook his therapist had suggested he get for when he can’t talk about what’s going on in his head. Eddie sat next to him while he scribbled into it, and something ugly twisted in his gut.

Here he was, right next to Buck, having gone through the same damn thing, making him write his thoughts down instead of just talking to him. And Buck never even seemed to hold it against him.

Now he’s asleep with his head pillowed on Eddie’s lap, curled in on himself and one hand gripping the fabric of Eddie’s pants tightly.

Eddie can’t sleep. There’s a war going on inside of him, two equally big emotions fighting for dominance.

On one hand, there’s the tenderness and love he feels for Buck, the wish to protect him from everything coming their way. On the other, there is the guilt and self-loathing he feels for putting himself first anyway, for prioritising his aversion to talking over Buck’s need to. How can he do that to the man he loves?

“Eddie,” Bobby’s quiet voice interrupts his thoughts as their captain sits down opposite him, a worried frown on his face. “Are you alright?”

And maybe it’s that they’ve had these middle of the night conversations often enough already for Eddie to be used to opening up eventually, but Bobby doesn’t have to do any prying before it bursts out of him. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him.”

Bobby’s eyebrows raise. “Buck?”

Eddie gives an aborted shrug and can’t quite look Bobby in the eyes. He’s spilled his guts to the poor guy so many times, he shouldn’t be embarrassed anymore - but he doesn’t want to see the pity on Bobby’s face. Doesn’t deserve that either.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because,” Eddie swallows, trying to find words for what he’s feeling, “he’s too good for me. I mean...you know how he is, Bobby. He gives so much of himself to make other people happy, to make me happy, and I...I can’t even meet him halfway. What do I have to offer?”

“I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself, Eddie.”

“Am I, though? I take and I take without giving anything back. I was a bad husband to Shannon, I’m a bad boyfriend to Buck, he would be better off without me dragging him down-”

“Have you talked to Buck about this?” Bobby interrupts, and Eddie lets out a bitter laugh.

“No, because I can’t even do that, can’t do it when it comes to my feelings or his, and now he doesn’t think he can talk to me about things like what happened tonight, but what would I even say, Bobby? I don’t know how to help, I never have the right words anyway.”

Bobby sighs. “We had a rough call tonight, Eddie, and everyone deals with it in their own way. And that’s okay! I’m sure Buck doesn’t expect anything more than what you can give from you. But for what it’s worth, I think you should try to talk to him about this anyway. If only to hear it from him.”

“Why are you so sure of what he’ll say?”

“Because I know him. And so do you, when you’re not too busy feeling guilty for things you aren’t guilty of.”

Eddie purses his lips, trying to keep the tears he can feel welling up at bay. “So you don’t think I’m acting like an egoistic asshole? Cause I’m pretty sure I am.”

“If you really think you only take from Buck and don’t give anything back to him, you need to talk to him even more than I thought you did.”

Bobby sounds almost disappointed, and it kind of knocks Eddie off balance. He seems to think it’s so obvious that Eddie is wrong. It makes him want to consider that maybe he isn’t looking at things very objectively right now.

“You make that man so happy,” Bobby continues, and his voice softens. “He has had to go through so much, and you were there for him through it all. He felt like he didn’t belong anywhere, and you gave him a family.”

“We all did that, though.”

“Yes, and we mean it - but it’s different with you. You gave him Christopher, and not just that: you gave him your trust with your son, and I think you quite literally saved him with that.” Bobby also has tears in his eyes now and Eddie swallows thickly. “My point is, you don’t have to talk about everything, Eddie, that’s not who you are. But some things need to be talked about, especially if they make you sit here and hate yourself if you don’t. You don’t deserve that, Eddie.”

Eddie wipes his eyes and gives Bobby a small smile. “Thanks, Cap.”

“Try and catch some sleep too, hm? I’m sure you’ll feel better after.”

Eddie nods and watches as Bobby walks away, feeling much better than before. He still doesn’t feel great about essentially leaving Buck alone to process, but hearing Bobby say that there are things he’s given Buck - maybe it’s not as bad as he thought it was. Clearly, he’s a work in progress, and clearly, he still needs to work on both communication and self-image.

Buck’s hand on his knee uncurls from the fabric of his pants, and Eddie sighs, running a careful hand through Buck’s hair.

“Did you hear any of that?”

“Most of it,” Buck murmurs and sits up, looking at Eddie. “I wasn’t sleeping very deeply when you two started talking.”

Eddie looks down at his hands in his lap. “I’m sorry. For leaving you alone to deal with it.”

“Eddie,” Buck says, scooting closer and taking Eddie’s hands in his, squeezing until Eddie squeezes back. “Eddie, listen to me. Is...is that what you think happened? Cause it’s not what I remember. You haven’t left my side since the last call, have you?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t talk to you about it.” He sounds ashamed when he says it, and still feels the guilt heavy on his chest.

“Did I ask you to talk about it? No. I know you don’t like talking about the rough calls, but that’s not even why I didn’t say anything. You were there right next to me, and that was all I needed. All I need. You always give me exactly what I need.” He lets go of one of Eddie’s hands and places his free one at the back of Eddie’s neck, leaning down until he can meet Eddie’s eyes. “If I wanted anything else, I would’ve asked, or gone to someone else.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, reaching out until he can get a hand on Buck’s shirt, wanting to be closer still.

“I love you, you idiot,” Buck says softly, following the pull from Eddie’s hand and pressing his forehead to Eddie’s. “And like Bobby said - you’ve given me so much, and you make me so damn happy. You’re the one person I trust with absolutely everything, and before you, no one’s ever given me that kind of trust back. When all that shit was happening with my parents, you were the only one I felt like I could talk to about everything, and you listened, and understood. You know me, Eddie, and I know you. And even when we deal with things differently sometimes, I know you’re always there for me. Do you know how long it took me to accept that I was deserving of your love? Many therapy sessions, you can believe that. But I learned that we’re both imperfect people with flaws and with baggage, but all that matters is that we make each other happy.”

Smiling, Eddie brushes their noses together softly. “You’re so smart sometimes.”

Buck snorts. “Asshole.”

Eddie presses a kiss to his lips, then another. “I love you, too. And thank you. For putting up with me and my moods.”

“It’s not “putting up with you”,” Buck says seriously, leaning back a little so he can look at Eddie. “I love all of you. Insecurities and self-doubts included, even though I wish you didn’t feel them. And you deserve that love, Eds.”

“God,” Eddie groans, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears that are threatening to spill again. “I love you so much.”

Buck laughs a little and pulls him all the way in, holding him close. “I know, but you definitely need some sleep now, you’re not usually this teary. Come on, we can even share a bunk and endure the inevitable teasing tomorrow and probably for the rest of our lives.”

Eddie grins and cuddles even closer to Buck. “I can live with that.”

With Buck by his side, it sometimes feels like he can withstand everything.

[omegatheunknown]

AEW ALL OUT 2021

In which, not to get ahead of myself here, AEW puts on one of the best major wrestling shows in several years*, following the simple yet effective principle of giving the people what they want and sending everyone home happy and hungry for more.

- The incredibly 'Nitro' ending of the go-home Dynamite, which ran a little long on the 'heels beat everyone up and strut around like assholes almost too in desperate need of comeuppance' bit, short of garbage raining into the ring, did actually increase the heat for both promoted matches. Again, not rocket science, but executed perfectly. Catharsis was on the card, and catharsis went over several times Sunday. - Again, it's time to move on from the Casino theme, shuffling the deck and drawing suits really only detracted from the Battle Royale and seemingly always throws the production crew a curve. If they haven't hammered it by now, it's not going to happen. - Bit unhappy about the PAC/Andrade situation, but still over the moon with Andrade's promo style and Chavito being unhelpful at best.

*Pre-Card

Best Friends and Jurassic Express v The Hardy Family Office and The Hybrid 2 (**) - Not usually much to say about a loaded-up multiteam boondoggle, particularly when the show has yet to begin, but there were some moments worth sitting up to take notice -- there's a lot of talent in the ring, even if Jack Evans/Angelico aren't going to be more than mid-level mooks, little matchups with guys like Luchasaurus and Chuck Taylor are opportunities for innovative/weird spots. - Really this match exists to show-off Jungle Boy, play his theme song twice, and work him in to the aforementioned spots. I don't rightly know what Jungle Jack's ceiling is, but it sort of feels like he's plateauing, at least this version of himself. - Dan Lambert thing is interesting in that it doesn't seem to easily lead to something obvious... I mean who are Scorp and Ethan Page feuding with by proxy here, the concept of contemporary professional wrestling? Orange Cassidy and Kenny Omega?

*Main Card

Miro (C) v Eddie Kingston for the TNT Championship (***1/2) - 'Redeem Deez Nuts' T-shirts now available -- and made immediately redundant now that Miro has graciously redeemed Eddie's nuts. - Imagine looking at Miro, listening to Miro talk, and not really being able to figure out this guy is money. Also imagine panicking when he took a little while to find his groove in AEW. 'The Redeemer' is both entertaining and terrifying, and this match delivered heavily on the promise of two big fellas smacking together repeatedly. - Not only does Eddie's arsenal of power moves target Miro's neck, he may also be quite difficult to put in the full reclined camel clutch. Or he'd quite literally snap in half. It didn't come to that. - Weird heel turn by Bryce's attention span and the overall weirdness of the finish is all that kept this from being an excellent match, otherwise this was a tremendous curtain jerker and started off a dangerously fun run of pure adrenaline.

Jon Moxley v Satoshi Kojima (****) - The stakes were nebulous, the build was abrupt, yet this was a fantastic match and tremendous showcase for an underappreciated great who has been more or less just toiling for a bunch of years as a NJPW Dad. Same deal for Nagata, and I assume Tenzan is the same, Taka Michinoku even -- let's see it. - I have to assume the Cozy Lariat might have put Mox down, but Kojima otherwise played the hits (Koji Cutter, Piledriver, Brainbustaaaa) in a big way and Moxley once again proved he's become a very well-rounded wrestler who can match the intensity of just about any former IWGP champion. - More to the point-- KAZE NI NARE -- out of nowhere, too. Or out of nowhere to those not paying attention to the whereabouts of Minoru Suzuki (Right, he's just over here to fight Daniel Garcia and not Mox?), which I guess is to my own peril. Wow, though. Surprise Number 1- a complete surprise, and a welcome one. Let's have it.

Dr Britt Baker, DMD (C) v Kris Statlander for the AEW Women's Championship (****) - I love Kris and her best friends but she didn't have a prayer of dethroning Britt. She got one promo, several weeks ago, and though she did make a meal of Hayter and Rebel, the chase has been abrupt and not given much discussion, other than Mark Henry and whomever else acknowledging what is extremely evident -- Statlander is stronger than she looks, and she looks really strong. They've got her doing Cesaro-level 'modify your grip while holding your opponent's entire weight' nonsense, and it's amazing and scary. - Even with the reign of the good doctor not being credibly threatened, this was an excellent match that demonstrated the continued growth of the competitors in the women's division, even as it underlined that their storylines remain undercooked and perfunctory: Orange Cassidy whipping off his shades to urge Stat to get up was a beautiful moment. Britt's Panama Sunrise, also, too sweet. Statlander eating shit on her 451 and her pendulum moonsault was properly brutal, as were Britt's curb stomps. Really great match between these two. - Again, if they had bothered to write anything into this story, such as Kris' alien physiology making her immune to the lockjaw or something... actually, maybe that's a terrible idea. it's an idea. Undefeated challenger is defeated, on to the next for Dr Britt. Statlander and OC should tag against some of the boys.

The Young Bucks (C) v The Lucha Bros for the AEW World Tag Team Championship(*****+) - Can't not mention the insane entrance lined up for Fenix and Penta. It was bewildering, it was enchanting, it was aggressive, it was hype. It also reminded everybody how very badly we all wanted the Lucha Bros to win. The crowd has been setting new peaks with their volume since Punk showed up, but things were absolutely thunderous and ecstatic at the end of this match. Absolutely valid response. I yelled on the couch. - Nick's facial hair was a bigger tell that it was time for the Bucks to lose than anything else about this build. There's literally nowhere to go from there -- they've done the hair, the bandanas, the kicks, the animal print, the dangly earrings -- peak visual heel for this time and place. - Sincerely thought this was going to be too much of a full sprint spot-fest (the PWG-esque circle of trading blows is not really 'my thing') but even so they kept finding gears, and ramping and ramping and adding blood and brutality along the way. Even a bit of levity, with the tacked up sneaker, followed by the sincerity of Penta throwing himself in harm's way to protect his brother. Immense match, I think you'd have to go back to the Bucks vs the Addiction and MCMGs Ladder War to find a more thrilling tag team gimmick match. - If there's a single flaw to be found it's in the production not really settling on wide angles for simultaneous action at the start of the match. They figured it out. - Rey Fenix is the best luchador in the world.

Women's Casino Battle Royale (**1/2) - If nothing else, this really shows off that they now have a surplus of women's wrestlers who deserve time to hang in the ring. Unsurprisingly, the match picked right up when Thunder Rosa and then Jamie Hayter got to the ring, with additional props to Tay Conti and Jade Cargill, who was dumped rather unceremoniously given her general booking... - Okay, there was something else. Welcome to the rechristened Ruby Soho, who I've not seen a lot of outside of her extremely limited showcase in WWE, but she has so many friends in the back and in the industry and that's never for nothing, not in wrestling, anyway. Intrigued to see where she fits, and if the women ever get more than a match per show. - Touched on this in the preamble but this was the roughest part of the night for the home viewer, just weird decisions on cutting away from various entrances to show... nothing in particular happening. Also while the commitment to not-kayfabing the countdown clock is... admirable? It makes the pacing hinky. - Almost everyone who got new gear for tonight was looking like the white ranger -- Nyla, Swole, Bunny, someone I'm missing. Except Anna Jay, whose stars and glitter gear looked great.

MJF v Chris Jericho for the fate of Jericho's in-ring career (***) - MJF's unauthorized homage to Y2J's entrance: good. Fozzy's guitarist going off tempo with the instrumental Judas: weak, and would've been sad if this were the end for Jericho. Especially as the build has felt... muted, somehow. - Props to the commentary for continuing to feed the red herring of 'in AEW,' as a caveat to stipulation, it did feel like... a remote possibility that MJF would win. - Credit to Aubrey for calling this one down the middle and not putting the fix in for her friend Jericho, and I guess the Dusty finish will give MJF plenty to gripe about. - MJF wrestles with a pure heel style, holds, chops, blocks, and Jericho is fifty years old, so the level of wrestling on exhibition in these matches is well beside the point. It was solid to good, and I was fighting burn out from the first half of the card's level of excitement.

CM Punk v Darby Allin (***1/2) - There are a couple benefits of Darby as a dance partner, and it's certainly better than having to watch Punk return against like, QT Marshall or Shawn Spears. Darby does make everyone look slow, but he can also be tossed around, and this raises his profile even in defeat, obviously. That said, the stakes here are... meta, at best, in that we want to see the man look good and justify the hype. It's a weird thing to root for. He certainly does look good. (Tights? Tights!) - It's fun to theorize about actually booking an angle where Punk is rusty and needs to regain his prowess, and maybe he'll stumble, but maybe the most we get out of that angle is hitting the GTS a little close to the ropes so Darby falls right out of the ring, in what was, for me, the spot that justified this whole match. - Sting's proud step-dad aura is still a hell of a thing, I really liked the end of the match kudos all around. - Match was good, hard to hang my emotions on. I wasn't watching WWE when Punk was in WWE. Definitely feeding off the excitement of others a bit here, and he sure can talk. I'd like to see him cultivate a stable, certainly.

Paul Wight v QT Marshall (n/r) - ...popcorn match? QT Marshall is like the anti-Daniel Garcia in that while his prominence and presence is just as inexplicable, I don't want it to continue, and he doesn't justify it in the process. - Match was two minutes longer than it needed to be.

Kenny Omega (c) v Christian Cage for the AEW World Championship (****1/2) - Crowd was both burnt out and more or less waiting for the post-match angle. Which I get. it's hard to cruise to the main event and having seen all the different things we've already seen on this card, even a singular performer like Kenny Omega and a legend with whom he (surprisingly? fittingly?) has superb chemistry with in Christian Cage were up against it to deliver something memorable. - Context dependent, I can definitely see rating this below their Rampage match, especially since... I mean Christian isn't winning the AEW title off Kenny at this or probably any other event. - But! It was really good! It was very good! They really do match-up well, and Kenny's v-trigger has rarely looked more devastating than when it knocks Christian flat. Christian got cut open in a novel and initially worrying way, and Kenny followed up a botched moonsault with a harder version of the same move off a rail, but it was a really great match and it deserved more energy than was available.

Post-Show - Calling back and inverting the end of Dynamite, The Elite strut about the ring, slightly less stoked than they were on Wednesday, but with the Bucks smiling through the pain, and Jungle Boy once again subjected to violence for his misguided heroism, Kenny 'not much a promo' Omega lays down a killer line about nobody being fit to challenge him who isn't unavailable, already tired or dead. - The Undertaker ADAM COLE, BAY BAY as Surprise #3 was a minor stroke of brilliance, and a fun swerve because while it's exciting to see him, his appearance at this point in the narrative does nothing to solve the problem of The Elite beating up Christian and Jungle Boy. Unless he's still sore about his unsolved murder, which he isn't. Storytime with Adam Cole is back and it's beautiful. Also Jungle Boy died for this. - Okay. But. Just. Okay. CM Punk and Bryan Danielson are All Elite. They will hopefully tag together. Bryan will head to NJPW, almost definitely. Minoru Suzuki just walked in and started slugging on Mox. The Forbidden Door is wide open. Will Kenny Omega one day return to Wrestle Kingdom? There are so many possibilities and they are all very exciting. This was a phenomenal show and it didn't have Hangman Page, Cody Rhodes, FTR, Santana and Ortiz, PAC, Andrade, Sammy Guevara, Team Taz, and the rest.

- Wrestling is good, actually. Imagine watching like five hours of wrestling and loving wrestling at the end of it.

*What competes- WK11, Dominion 2018, 2019, DoN 2019, 2021.. All-In, probably. Wrestlemania 30. A few Takeovers. Kris Wolf's retirement show...

[woodchoc-magnum]

9-1-1 4x04 Reaction

Spoilers under the cut

Buddie for comfort:

Saving the parents for last because jesus fucking christ that’s a rant, and also, I’m functioning on very little sleep so this may be completely disjointed and rambly:

I am in love with Buck and Eddie trying to solve the crime together and I wish they would re-film that scene without face masks

Because they so would be into true crime, like Eddie pretends to be cool but he’s a secret nerd, and he loves to nerd out with Buck, so it makes total sense that they watch crime documentaries together like COME ON

I’m incorporating this into a fic somehow

May Grant the 911 operator 🔥🔥🔥

Gratuitous shirtlessness in the form of Albert and Chimney, thank you very much 911

Albert fucking RUNNING AWAY FROM CHIMNEY 10/10 comedy

And then Chimney RUNNING AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE TEAM 10/10 comedy as well

Albert throwing a whole wheel of brie into the oven? Like just throwing it in there? Literally just throwing it in there

I don’t know why they added that in but I’m not mad at it

Chimney making friends with the mad bomber after the preview was like “IS CHIMNEY GONNA DIE????” no he’s gonna make a new friend and then brain him with an oxygen tank duh

Well, I guess it’s about that time to talk about the worst parents in the show, so here we go:

Some of this is gonna be speculation because obviously we don’t know how this all played out, but we can make some guesses. My theory is that Daniel the dead brother died... perhaps saving Buck when he was only very little, hence Buck not remembering it, and his parents... asking Maddie not to tell him?

What even the FUCK though

Why would you ask your NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO LIE TO HER LITTLE BROTHER ABOUT THEIR OTHER BROTHER WHO DIED

And how the hell do you cover something like that up? Did they simply move away from friends and family so no one would ever talk about it? Did they box up all the pictures and memories and everything and just... fucking... MOVE ON? Or not move on, because they have obviously never forgiven Buck for whatever the hell happened.

Okay, this is my speculation:

The parents are somehow responsible - for example, an accidental drowning (I don’t think this is what happened, this is just an example). So hypothetically, they’re at the beach, and Buck is a toddler, and the parents aren’t paying attention and he wanders into the sea and gets swept out; Daniel comes to his rescue and dies in the act of saving him (this thing happens in Australia all the time, hence why I’m using it as an example - swim between the flags, gang!).

So then you have the parents who are ultimately responsible for not paying attention, you have the unavoidable tragedy of one of the children dying, and the way they coped with this terrible tragedy was to place the blame on Buck (even though it wasn’t his fault, at all) and pretend that Daniel had simply never existed.

This means that Buck spends his life living in the shadow of the older brother who was glorified, who died saving him, and Buck has no idea why he can never please his parents and why they don’t love him. This is why they’re checked out as parents, because one of their kids died, and instead of seeking therapy, they decided to live a lie and blame their son for something he had no fucking control over.

So setting all that aside, let’s talk about these two absolute fucking pieces of shit.

They’ve alienated their children so much that both of them are absolutely terrified when they turn up. Buck is petrified. He’s spent his whole life never living up to their expectations, never feeling good enough, or worthy enough, constantly being put down - no wonder he ran away to California to put some distance between them. And he’s finally in a good place, going through therapy, dealing with his issues, and now bam - his parents are back in town to screw up all of his hard work.

And Maddie’s just as freaked out, because she’s trying to protect Buck from them. I feel like she has good intentions but her mistake is wanting Buck to have a relationship with people who don’t necessarily want to have a relationship with him, and for telling them about him being in therapy (which I still don’t understand, but I guess maybe the next episode will reveal the answer). To be clear, I don’t think Maddie is wrong for having kept this secret. She was manipulated into it by her parents when she was only a child, and that is not her fault, at all. She’s been told she’s doing the right thing and she hasn’t questioned it, but now, she is.

And, importantly - if her parents were checked out mentally and emotionally, she had to do a lot of the heavy-lifting and parenting when it came to Buck, when she was just a little girl herself. Maddie is the reason Buck is as wonderful as he is - she raised him.

Now, back to the pieces of shit:

They didn’t like Doug, so they washed their hands of Maddie, even though they lived in the same fucking town. So she was getting beaten up by her absolute monster of a husband, and ending up in hospital, and they were doing fucking nothing to intervene or help her.

THEY DIDN’T EVEN GO TO HER WEDDING. THEY SHOWED HER NO SUPPORT AT ALL. LIKE I CANNOT. All because they DISAGREED? SHE’S STILL YOUR DAUGHTER, like oh my god, I can’t even.

She had to flee across the country to Buck in California to finally escape him, because their parents didn’t care enough to help. Motherfuckers.

And then the whole “we don’t do hospitals” - bitch, they are your fucking CHILDREN. If your CHILDREN are in hospital, you are supposed to CARE. Buck got crushed by a ladder truck, he had an embolism and nearly died, he went through a tsunami and NOTHING? Nada? Maddie had to kill her husband after he nearly killed her, and NOTHING? Buck had to call to tell them what had happened!

And then to start crying and asking "I don’t know what you expected us to do?” - like, bitch, FUCKING ANYTHING?

I mean

I cannot with these people

What kind of white WASP-y nonsense is this

Let me tell the story of when I had appendicitis - I was taken to the hospital by my friend at night, my mum lives two hours away - when she found out that it was appendicitis and I’d be going in for surgery, she jumped in the car in the middle of the night and drove two hours to be with me, and I was a grown-ass woman at the time. It is not normal for parents not to care when their children are sick/injured/being beaten almost to death by their abusive husbands/getting crushed by a ladder truck. You mean to tell me that the footage of the crowd lifting the truck off their son didn’t go viral? That they didn’t see that?

Fuckers.

You don’t like something so you just bury your head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist? Your kids aren’t perfect so you just wash your hands of them? Their problems don’t matter, not when it’s all about you?

Narcissists.

Blaming the kids for everything, manipulating Maddie into doing their bidding - and still manipulating her as an adult, by bringing her gifts and driving across the country and being all, “we want to be grandparents!” after everything? After letting her husband nearly kill her and blaming her for having bad taste in men? FUCKKKKKK

And the fucking BABY BOX. Do not even get me started on how ANGRY I WAS.

Like, I have friends with kids (I have cats, personally) so I know that they’re busy, but to not have anything, as if he’s just not worth it.

Like I can’t

It breaks my heart to think about his face, and the realisation setting in... to know that your parents don’t love you? To have lived with that your whole life? It’s so fucking gutting.

Like, obviously I am extra emotional because I’m running on empty today, but god damn this episode just came along and punched me right in the face.

Also, I’m making a BIG CALL, they’re going to use the song ‘Daniel’ by Elton John in the next episode:

Daniel my brother you are older than me Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal? Your eyes have died, but you see more than I Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

100% they’re using that song, I’m calling it now, and if they don’t, it is a wasted opportunity.

Okay, let’s end on a good note, because this has been a rant:

Eddie’s open concern for Buck; the fact that Buck tells Eddie about his therapy, that he feels comfortable opening up to him - that Eddie was there, watching Buck beat the shit out of the boxing bag and listening to him, and taking his side and reassuring him... that is next level shit and I am here for it.

I am not here for the return of Ana in the next few episodes but that’s a future rant

Hopes for Buck Begins:

That the firefam - his real family - will rally around him, and that Buck and Maddie will take a united stand against their parents and tell them to get the fuck out of their lives.

Also I kinda want Bobby to meet the Buckley’s? Just... for him to be horrified, I guess? I don’t know, but I want Bobby to meet them and understand how awful they are and offer Buck some comfort as his surrogate father.

I would like Buck to be hugged by someone who loves him, please, because he needs it.

And selfishly, I want some kind of Buck, Eddie and Christopher scene, because they are also his family. Everyone in this show has their little family unit, and Eddie and Christopher are Buck’s.

Ana be damned

[fireinmoonshot]

Listen...you’re the best 9-1-1 writer I’ve found thus far and I’m gonna need more Eddie content 😭 Like literally anything will do you’re amazing

A/N: This is so kind! Thank you so much. I just finished the S3 finale and I’m already missing the show so much so I figured I’d jump back on the 9-1-1 bandwagon. I’ve missed writing for Eddie! This does contain a mild spoiler from the Season 3 finale, though it’s nothing too major!

Eddie had been working on dinner in the kitchen when Christopher had approached him about the camp he seemed to interested in attending. You had been none the wiser, sat at your desk in the office that Eddie had set up for you for when you stayed over. With Christopher still so young, you hadn’t wanted to impose and move in and Eddie understood that. He had, though, been rather insistent that it feel like a second home for you, and so the office had been created.

He never liked bothering you when you were working, which is why you were so surprised to hear a quiet knock only seconds before he opened the door and stepped inside before firmly closing it behind him.

He looked mildly terrified.

You sat down your pen and spun the chair to look at him, though he didn’t meet your eyes. Instead, he stared at the empty wall across from him. You were just about to pipe up and ask him what was wrong when he finally spoke.

“Christopher just showed me this,” he muttered, pulling out a small brochure. He held it out towards you and you took it from him, giving it a quick read. “He wants to go. Like… actually go to camp, for two weeks.”

Slightly smiling, you stood up from the chair and crossed the few steps towards him.

“He’s a kid. Doesn’t every kid want to go to camp at some point?”

Eddie shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t exactly have experience with this.” Finally, he looked up and met your eyes. It forced him to stand a little straighter and to stop acting so aloof. Then, his eyes crossed to the desk, scattered with paper. He winced. “I just broke my own rule not to interrupt you, didn’t I?”

You nodded. “You did. I’m not mad, though. You’re just being a protective dad.”

He didn’t seem to be so calm, though. He took the brochure back and then shook his head. “I’m sorry – I should leave you to finish work. I’m meant to be making dinner, anyway, and I think Chris expects an answer from me so–“ His hand went to the handle of the door and just as he’d started to open it you darted in front of him.

The door closed again.

“Nope, you’re not doing that,” you smiled up at him. “We’re discussing this together. I may not live here full time, but I’m not going to let you shut me out and go back to your single dad routine. For all intents and purposes, you’re not one of those anymore.”

Eddie’s lips started to twitch into a smile. “What do you think I should do, then?”

“I think that it’s brave of him to want to go on this camp for two whole weeks. That it’s brave of him to even ask you about it in the first place. And that it’ll be good for him. Two weeks to have fun, to be independent, to be with his friends. And there’ll be people who make sure he’s okay every day, even if it’s not you.” You sneakily weaved your arms around his waist. “You can’t always be there, even though I know you wish you could be. He must really want to go, and I think you should let him.”

You could tell you hadn’t fully won him over by the look on his face, his narrowed eyes and stiff lips. Still, he shrugged a shoulder and then nodded slowly. “I’m going to be anxious about it until he gets home.”

“I think that’s the dictionary definition of a good father.”

He leant forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “He did seem really excited…”

“You don’t have to give him an answer right now. But tell him you’ll consider it. Think about it a little more. Talk to the camp, call them,” you suggested softly.

Eddie sighed and then wrapped his own arms around you, pulling you to his chest. “Will you stay here when he’s away?”

“For the whole two weeks?”

“Not the whole two weeks, not if you don’t want to.” He paused. “It would make me feel a little bit less anxious, though…”

You jokingly rolled your eyes, glad he couldn’t see you. “Fine. Deal. Every night.”

Eddie’s face broke into a grin. “Yes!” He murmured, squeezing you tight. It was going to be tough, not seeing Chris for a whole two weeks, but he knew deep down that having you here was going to fill at least part of the gap Chris would leave.

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

So... I was kinda disappointed with Buck Begins... NOT ENTIRELY. Just...

Major spoilers ahead. You should definitely watch the episode before reading my complaints... because I have a lot of them, and you shouldn't have the negative thoughts going into it...

But I'm gonna start with the good stuff.

The Buckley Siblings are everything to me. I love their relationship, and watching Buck grow up with Maddie protecting him? *chef's kiss* Perfection.

Buck being a daredevil because it was the only time that he got positive attention from his parents as a child? Absolutely heartbreaking and I hate his parents for *so much* for that.

Maddie doing whatever she could to help her baby brother, even when she was terrified and probably knew how bad it was going to get? I love her with my whole heart.

And I absolutely love the way they highlighted their relationship and how important Maddie is to Buck.

The moment when the team comes in to help Buck and save him and the other person? Cinematic excellence, I applaud them for that scene. His team loves him and will always have his back, and he *knows* that now.

And now for my grievances and where I think they missed the target...

It focused on Maddie too much for a "Buck Begins" episode. I get that she's a huge part of his life and that she would be in the childhood flashbacks, but even once Buck was out on his own, all we got to see were the postcards (with handwriting that did not look At All like Buck's handwriting, might I add) and the one scene of Buck bartending in Peru where he decided to move to LA and become a firefighter.

We already basically got a Maddie Begins episode, when Doug came back and kidnapped her. I didn't need another one. (I love Maddie and I loved the flashbacks, but... it just should have focused more on Buck. It was his episode, after all.)

We should have gotten to actually *see* what Buck did with his life before he made it to LA. They could have shown Maddie receiving a postcard, then done a montage with a shot of Buck writing one of the postcards. That montage focused more on Maddie than it did on Buck, which kind of frustrated me.

And then in present day? They made such a big deal about the family secret, and it just fizzled out. Like it didn't matter anymore. And I honestly don't see them doing much more with it, unless (God forbid) in a later season the Madney baby gets leukemia or something and Buck is a perfect match to save his niece. (Actually I could see them doing that and I would definitely cry. That would maybe give them a pass with this plot thread.)

Then with the factory fire? Idk, it didn't feel intense enough for me. NOT that I wanted Buck to horribly suffer more, but... Eddie being buried alive in his episode was So Much More Intense. Chimney's episode happened while he was literally bleeding nearly to death. I was hoping for more.

And maybe it has something to do with the lack of reaction from the entire team when the building exploded. Not only did we not see Eddie panic, even briefly, about Buck being trapped, we didn't see Bobby or Chimney of Hen panic either! Bobby sees Buck as a son, this is basically canon now. And Chimney and Hen see him as their little brother.

The exploding ladder truck and the tsunami both felt way more intense for Buck than the factory fire in this episode.

And then to top it off, NOBODY GAVE BUCK A HUG AFTER THR FACTORY FIRE! And Eddie and Chimney weren't even there by the ambulance! Like, what the fuck? Yes, Bobby, Athena, and Hen told him what he needed to hear, but they all should have been there! Supporting him! Where were they???

Also, they missed the perfect opportunity to casually make Buck canonically bisexual. Instead of meeting a girl who taught him how to surf, he could have met a guy. Then things didn't work out, just like they didn't with the girl.

UGH, these writers! They're either *really* amazing or *really* miss the important stuff... there was so much potential, and they just wasted it!

Anyway, enough of my ranting. I did enjoy the episode, but it was definitely not the best Begins episode in my opinion.

What are your thoughts? I clearly have too many.

-Quarantine Anon

So I just finished watching. Spoilers beneath the cut

So here’s what I knew going into this- everyone was going wild with theories and ideas and great fics of what was going to play out. Which is great. But I do think it got hyped up because of that.

The flashbacks to the Buckley childhood hurt so much. Margaret seemed to take it out on Evan so much because in her eyes- he failed her by not saving Daniel. BEGONE, Margaret! You can’t put that on your child if your own plan was to use the child to save a sibling and then deem him not deserving of love because of nature and genetics. But Maddie and Buck? I love a pair of siblings while being in agony over the hells they’ve walked through.

The use of ‘So Far’ and the team helping him? Poetic cinema. I felt so many emotions and had a bit of a cry.

I actually liked the postcards. I think if they had gone to film all of what he did, it would have gotten jammed packed. The bartender was stated in canon, so that felt worthy of a flashback (and oh wow, that was not the revelation I needed that I try to know cool things to impress cute people. Buck is not straight, I don’t care what anyone says). Plus, with Covid-19, I bet there would be some filming issues. Also, it felt the ups and downs in Buck’s postcards paralleled Maddie’s injuries from Doug. They were both lost thinking they were living, except they weren’t. It was all about survival. And the worst part is that sometimes, you will lull yourself into a sense that survival=living when that’s not the case. That’s what happened to the Buckleys I think.

We don’t know what’s to come, but the family secret might come up again in therapy. Which they better freaking continue and not drop like the Flash did.

On the factory fire- I think we hyped it up more than we expected. Eddie Begins and Chimney Begins were really serious episodes with their lives on the line. And I think about Buck talking about giving up after he gets out. He wasn’t going into this fire with a clear head. I think he saw himself as the replacement baby still who couldn’t ever live up, who couldn’t do things right. He wouldn’t leave despite ordered because that was showing Saleh he didn’t matter. To Buck, he did. He gets being left behind and in those situations, you’d rather someone else be happier and fine while you take the impact. Like the world would keep turning and everyone would be fine (eventually) after you left it.

The ladder truck and tsunami were physical pain. The factory fire was emotional pain. (which reminds me, I need to make a post about the element symbolism in Begins episodes)

If we didn’t see a hug in the episode, then we write the fic for it. Missing scenes can be created ;) Not to mention they’ve all still got work to get done on the scene. After events like that, I think everyone needed time to process it.

I get bisexual vibes off Buck big time in this episode. And I think there is repression and closeting that comes into play here. Your parents are constantly disappointed in you, so why disappoint them further? Bury it down deep and deeper who you really are. It was the attention-seeking that would work out for him. Also, bisexuality is more than one. You identify as bi and your partner uses she/her? Bi. Partner uses he/his? BI. Partner uses them/they? Still bi. (Also, how much do we know about the postcards he wrote. Maybe he didn’t give her the full story. There’s only so much room in a postcard and she was the one person in the world who still believed in him. Was he afraid to disappoint her?)

Overall, I did enjoy the episode. Eddie Begins always holds a special place in my heart as the first ever episode of 911 I saw enough of to get me interested in the show. The thing is that I can’t pit the Begins episodes against each other. They all show a journey in some way. 

Hopefully this was coherant enough and I’m sorry for my little bisexual rant.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

To get it out of the way, I didn’t drop a dime on Disney to watch the new Mulan movie, but I have seen it.

The TL;DR, non-spoiler review is, when you compare it to the original animated movie, it’s about a 3/10, but when you judge it as it’s own movie, I think it’s about a 7/10.

Pre-post edit: Before I wrote everything below (which is filled w/ spoilers btw so be warned), I wanted to give this a 7/10 on it’s own merit w/o comparing it to the original, but after really examining the message of this version it’s really difficult to give it a 7/10, so I’ll say 5/10.

It’s not a bad movie, I just think the message it sends is kind of fucked up and a huge 180 from the original, which I know I said I wouldn’t compare it to, and I’m not, but just objectively the messages are contrasting.

The movie isn’t actually that bad, it’s just different and similar in very odd ways. The whole movie felt really conflicted over whether to make it it’s own thing separate from the original, and whether to make it a 1:1 copy of the original. Put into words, I think it just had a bit of an identity crisis.

Some aspects of the movie that they changed from the original don’t immediately make it clear why they were changed, which leads me to believe they wanted to make it it’s own thing, but then they threw in clear scenes that were from the original, and evidently the movie is called Mulan, so clearly they didn’t shy away from that.

Some of the changes made sense. It’s very obvious they wanted to try and go for a “more serious” tone for the film. This is likely why there’s no singing which is the biggest missing feature, but also likely why Mulan is missing her humor from the original, and why her grandmother isn’t in this, and obviously Eddie Murphey’s Mushu and the Cricket. This movie isn’t funny, and it’s not supposed to be, which is fine.

The changes that didn’t make immediate sense to me though were small changes, such as changing her family name from Fa to Hua, or even changing her fake name from Ping to Jun, or the Huns to the Rourons, or the family worshiping a Phoenix instead of a Dragon, or giving her a younger sister, etc. Very small minor changes which don’t ultimately change anything of the film or plot itself so ultimately aren’t a huge deal but then why change them? This is what I mean when I say it seems like they wanted to make this movie their own thing...but also the same.

The scenes they decided to recreate weren’t obviously 1:1, but I think they did a pretty decent job. The Matchmaker scene happens. The lake scene happens. They soldiers talk about what they look for in a woman and all say relatively the same things. Those were pretty cool scenes.

Hands down, the instrumental version of Reflection was the best ever. They used it a couple times and every time I get chills cause I was just fangasming over it. Really minor detail, but fuck was it awesome to hear nonetheless.

The action was actually pretty well choreographed I thought. It really reminded me of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon with the sort of flying through the air, running on walls, etc.

The actor they got to play the villain, Bori Khan (also different from the original), looks identical to the animated Shan Yu. Like as identical as a real human being can be to an animated character. I honestly thought that was perfect casting. I don’t recognize him, or 99% of the actors in this (honestly the only one I recognized at all was the general from Rogue One), but he was great.

Some of the more major changes were...a bit hit or miss. This movie evidently focuses a bit on what they call Chi, which is kinda magic but also kinda not magic? It all gets vaguely Disney-explained but Mulan’s Chi just makes her a pretty decent acrobatic fighter. The enemy “witch” uses Chi to straight up transform into a hawk or a swarm of bats among other things, but she’s sort of implied to be more advanced with Chi than Mulan is so that’s okay I guess. The Emperor also has Chi and he briefly uses it to...make some fabric defy the laws of physics briefly I guess.

The part about the Chi that bothered me slightly was how they used it to reinforce this sense of otherness about Mulan. Obviously Mulan has always been about a girl defying social norms to save her father and to bring honor to her family and country, but in this version Mulan has Chi, and girls aren’t supposed to have Chi. Only boys can have Chi, and women with Chi are seen as witches and are usually exiled. This is the story behind the bad “witch”, she was exiled for having strong Chi.

The reason why this felt like an issue is because it sort of takes away the fact that Mulan is “just a girl” infiltrating a male-dominated space to defy social norms and do what only men are “allowed” and “capable” of doing. Instead, she’s some pseduo Jedi-like character with abilities that not only show her as more capable than the men, but also not like other women.

So whereas in the original you could point to Mulan as an example and say “See, women can do what men can do” you can’t do the same in this movie because this Mulan actually has something that makes her special and unique that not every woman might have. To use another Star Wars reference, Chi is quite literally the Midichlorians of Mulan. Whereas before any woman could do what she could do, now only some women like Mulan can do what she did.

Another weird aspect was I guess the message of the movie. Like, people say this movie was made for China and uh...yeah, the message of this movie kiiiiinda proves that.

Throughout the training parts, the General emphasizes the virtues they all live by which are engraved on everyone’s swords: “Loyal. Brave. True.” and the conflict stems from the fact that Mulan isn’t being true by hiding her identity, which is why she’s failing as a soldier and I guess a human being and it’s only after she embraces who she is that she starts kicking ass.

There’s also the scene at the very beginning with the Emperor, like in the original, where the soldier tells him about the invaders approaching. In the original, the Emperor was a very kind and caring old man who cared more about his people than anything else. Evidently, they tried to like...make it more realistic or something, I guess, so in this the Emperor doesn’t really seem to care about his people, and he keeps emphasizing in that scene and throughout the movie that they need to “protect the dynasty” which was just weirdly loyalist.

And then of course the end where they’re supposed to repeat the message of the film, the part you’re supposed to take away which is...”devotion to family”. That, along with the previous two things I mentioned, really make this movie feel like a 180 from the original. Whereas the original was about a woman defying social norms to be protect her father and bring honor to her family, this one felt more like a woman defending her country and vaguely reinforcing those social norms...?

Perhaps I misinterpreted, I don’t know. I just thought it was weirdly the opposite message the original sent.