#i have a lot of feelings about how awful the buckley parents are

[mvltixcc]

Girls Like Girls - Robin Buckley X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: Robin has a crush on the new girl in town. Y/N is also a new member of the cheer squad, which means Robin sees her all the time at games and other school events. Unfortunately, Robin is put in a tough situation. She's scared to talk to her because the cheerleaders have a reputation of being mean girls and she fears that Y/N may not feel the same. Little does Robin know that Y/N does not appear as she seems. Y/N becomes best friends with Eddie, which seems unlikely at the surface due to different social circles. This leads to rumors of course and word spreads like wildfire here at Hawkins, which then makes Robin's feelings even more confusing. After hanging out with Steve and the gang, Robin starts to see a different side to Y/N. Will they end up together or will they just remain friends?

Word Count: 4.4k

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Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Things had been a little peaceful at school since the night of prom. Chrissy and everyone else involved in the paint prank got suspended for some time. Eddie was the happiest about this as the ones that were suspended picked on him more than anyone. When they were finally able to come back, they had to issue an apology to you and Robin, anyone that was hit with the paint, and the janitors as well. Their parents also had to pay for the banners to be replaced as some were splattered with paint. Everyone dreaded the day they were coming back to school. No one knew how things were going to be once they came back. Would things go back to the way things were? Would things change for the better? No one knows and that thought alone scared a lot of people. 

You knew that people could be cruel just for the fun of it or because they could be. But for Chrissy, you knew it was deep rooted. You never excused her behavior because she still treated people horribly and you always stuck up for those she picked on. Chrissy picked on people because she wanted others to feel just as miserable as she was at home. You knew of this secret, but never told a soul. While you were on the cheer squad, everyone thought you were like her and the other girls that followed in her footsteps. But the difference between the two of you, is that you would have never stooped to the level that Chrissy did by using a secret against her. While she should be punished for her awful behavior to others, it wouldn’t be by your hands. Her karma would come and that day came sooner rather than later.

A few weeks had passed before the big day that no one looked forward to. You and Robin had walked into school and were immediately met by Principal Higgins. 

“Good morning to you both, I need you to follow me into my office please.” He said sternly. You and Robin followed hesitantly. 

“Here we are.” Higgins said as he held open his office door. “Please take a seat.” You entered and saw Chrissy sitting there. You sat down and Robin followed.

“I think you both know why I’ve called you in here.” He stated looking at the three of you sitting before him. You all nod in response. “The floor is yours Ms. Cunningham.”

Chrissy let out a sigh. “I’m sorry for potentially harming you and trying to ruin your prom night by dumping a bucket of paint on you Carrie style. It was immature of me to do and it will never happen again.”

“Now that wasn’t so hard was it?” Higgins asked.

“Is that all you needed us for?” You asked. You didn’t want to hear anything from Chrissy and Robin sure as hell didn’t care either.

“Uh yes, that’s all.” He said taken a back.

“Okay then, well we better get to class. Our exams are coming up and I don’t wanna miss anything.” You say standing up. Robin followed after you as well as Chrissy. “Hey, I’ll meet you there.” You told Robin, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“What are you-” Robin began to ask but then soon caught on as she saw Crissy at her locker. “I’ll see you in class, just be careful.” Robin gave your hand a gentle squeeze. You nodded and parted ways.

“Cunningham, wait up.” You said making your way over to the girl.

“What do you need?” She asked softly.

“I need you to do me a favor.” You stated. She nodded for you to continue. “Chrissy, I know you have shit going on in your life, but it’s no excuse to treat people the way that you do. Maybe this will teach you to be kinder to people. Now, I want you and your friends to also apologize to Eddie for they way you’ve treated him and leave him alone for good.”

“Yeah I can do that. I’m sorry once again.” She said with sincerity in her voice.

“Oh and one last thing.” You said, moving closer so that only she could hear you. “Stay the hell away from my girlfriend or else we’re gonna have some serious problems.” She nods to you and you make your way to class.

“Everything okay?” Robin asked as you walked into class. 

“It should be now.” You say giving her a small smile.

“What does that even mean?” She asked with concern. 

“Good morning class! Today we will be doing more study packs to prepare you for your final exam! This time you can pair up in a group, just make sure you are actually studying this time!! The final exams are a big portion of your grades!” The teacher stated. 

“Yeah Eds!” You joked to him. 

“Hey!” He laughed. 

You, Robin, and Eddie grouped up and started to work on the packet for the rest of class.

“Hold on, why the hell does Greg have so many damn apples?” Eddie asked jokingly. 

“Really Munson, THAT'S what you’re worried about?! Not even finding the root of X to find out how many apples he ate?” Robin laughed.

“Oh I‘m sorry, are you telling me that if someone had THIS many apples you wouldn’t question it?!” He replied.

“No you goof, maybe they really like apples. Did you ever think about that hmm?” Robin teased back. The two of them continued to banter back and forth the rest of the period.

“So are we still on for Hellfire tonight?” Dustin asked Eddie. 

“Of cour-” Eddie started to say.

“No!” You interrupted. “You have to study Edward!” 

Eddie let out a large groan. “Can’t I just wing the test like I do every year?” 

“Look how far that got you dude.” Jeff said.

“Ugh fine, I’ll study.” Eddie sighed. 

“Perfect! It’ll be you, Nancy, Robin, and myself. We’ll meet at my place after school. Just make sure you bring your books this time. Oh, and snacks too!” You say. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, I’ll bring the snacks. Don’t I always?” Eddie joked. The rest of you continued to eat your lunch until the bell rang. 

Normally you would have gym right now, but since it was still a mess from the paint they granted everyone a free period. You went to the quiet little spot that Eddie showed you when the two of you became friends. It was in the woods just outside of the school grounds and it had a little picnic table. How it got there you still aren't sure. You knew Eddie used it for his deals, but you used it to be by yourself and clear your head. Before you made your way there, you stopped by your car to grab your Walkman and your headphones. You laid on the seat just listening to your music and staring up at the trees, just thinking and enjoying the nature around you. Those thoughts were soon interrupted by a thud. 

“There you are, peach!” Eddie exclaimed as he stood above you. 

You turned off your music and began to sit up. “Here I am!” You giggled. 

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” He questioned as he sat next to you.

You moved closer to him and set your head on his shoulder. “Just thinking.”

“Thinking about?” He asked.

“Life and how crazy it’s been.” You chuckled.

You both sat together like this until your watch alarm went off. “Well we better go, don’t wanna be late for class.” You stated standing up from your seat.

“Yeah I guess you're right.” Eddie said following you back to the school.

 For the next month, You, Robin, Nancy, and yes even Eddie studied your asses off everyday after school until it was time to take the final exams. 

“Y/N, what if I fail again?” Eddie would often ask you. To say he was nervous about taking the exams would be an understatement. 

“You won’t fail them Eds, you can do this! I know that all of this is really scary, but you’ve been doing well with the practice tests that Nancy printed up for us. I believe in you.” You always tried to reassure him. Despite what people thought of Eddie, he was actually really smart when he set his mind to it.

“I’m just scared I’ll fail again.” He said with a frown.

“Eddie, I’ll be here to support you no matter what. I’m always here for you.” You said giving him a smile to cheer him up.

Once it was finally test week, you all decided that once all the exams were done and you had gotten your grades back, you’d have a big get together of some kind. You would still have your usual traditions with Robin which helped the both of you relax during this time as well. The four of you were confident you would pass, well Eddie not as much, but he was still confident nonetheless. 

“How do you feel, Eddie?” Nancy asked as Eddie approached your group. You all had just finished the last exam.

“Relieved to be done with it.” Eddie said as he let out a sigh.

You were sitting on the hood of your car with your arms wrapped around Robin. “Well what do we do now?” You asked.

“I guess we just relax and wait to get our grades.” Nancy shrugged her shoulders. 

You wouldn’t find out about your grades until next Friday when they sent the results in the mail. Just another week, that wouldn’t kill you right? Well maybe not you, but for Eddie it would eat him alive. All he wanted to do was walk across the stage with his best friends and make those he cared for proud of him. He wanted to feel accomplished, he wanted to show those that doubted him that he COULD do it. 

“Well why don't we meet up on Friday and we can look at our grades together?” You asked. Everyone nodded and agreed to the plan. 

“Well on that note, I’m off to take my girlfriend to lunch! I’ll see you guys on Friday!” You stated hopping off the hood and jumping in the car with Robin. 

“Where are we going for lunch?” Robin asked as you drove.

“Mm I was thinking maybe I could pick up a pizza and we could just hang at my place, how does that sound?” You asked, grabbing her hand gently. 

“That sounds perfect to me.” She said, squeezing your hand and flashing you a smile.

“I do have to make a quick stop before I grab the food though.” You had pulled into the parking lot of the video store. 

“What are we doing here?” Robin questioned.

“You’ll see, stay here beautiful I’ll be right back.” You say giving her a quick kiss. Robin sat and waited in the car upon your return. 

You arrived after a few minutes with a brown bag in your hand. “Alright, you ready to eat?” You asked starting the car again. Robin, still confused as ever, just stared at the item in your lap. You noticed her looking puzzled at your lap and handed her the bag. "Take a look. It’s a gift for Steve.” 

Robin looked in the bag and let out a snort. “Oh he’s gonna hate you for this.”

It was finally the next Friday and you were on the way to the Wheeler’s residence with Robin to open the letters that held your grades. You pulled in the driveway to see Eddie had already arrived. You parked the car and the pair of you made your way to the door. Nancy was already standing there waiting for you both. “Come on, let’s go!” She exclaimed.

“Well someones impatient.” Robin remarked. 

“You haven’t seen Eddie for the past 10 minutes, he’s been pacing back and forth waiting. He’s kind of a mess right now!” Nancy continued as she led the two of you to the basement where Eddie was in fact pacing.

“Oh thank god, let’s get this over with!” Eddie said.

You all stood in a small circle and opened your letters at the same time. It was silent for what felt like forever, even though it was probably just a few seconds. 

“Yes!” Nancy cheered, she had obviously passed.

“Oh thank god!” Robin sighed in relief. She had passed as well.

You had also passed the exams. Now all that was left was Eddie’s results. He just stood there with a blank expression on his face which worried you. “Eds, what is it?” You asked him.

“I- I um.” He spoke softly.

“Well did you pass or what?” Nancy asked. 

“I passed.” Eddie said in disbelief. 

Nancy and Robin looked at him with wide eyes while you pulled him in for a hug. “I knew you could do it, Eds, I’m so beyond proud of you!” You hugged him so tight. 

He hugged you back. You could hear him sniffle and shake a bit. All he ever wanted was to make someone proud of him and feel like he did something good. And the fact that it was coming from his best friend made him feel special. You both pulled away from one another and you wiped away his tears.

“Congrats Munson!” Robin praised, giving him a high five.

“I guess this calls for a celebration!” Nancy exclaimed. 

There was a big party planned at Steve’s house later that night. After all the hard months that you all had put into studying, you all deserved this. Music was going, people were laughing, the energy was good. Everything was perfect. “Oh I almost forgot something, I’ll be right back.” You announced. You made your way to your car and grabbed the gift you had gotten Steve last week. You made your way back to the party and everyone looked at you with a puzzled expression. 

“What the hell is that?” Sam asked.

“It’s for Steve, go ahead and open it!” You say handing him the bag.

“Aww you shouldn’t have, that’s so sweet of-” He smiled as he opened his gift, that smile soon faded. “Alright, I take it back. Screw you Y/N!” He joked.

“What is it?!” Everyone asked with anticipation.

Steve pulled it out of the bag to show everyone, Eddie let out a snort and his drink shot out of his nose. It was a copy of Carrie on VHS. 

“Now why the hell would you get me this Y/N?!” Steve asked jokingly of course.

“What? You said you had never seen it before!” You laughed. Eddie couldn’t stop laughing, he found it truly hilarious. 

While everyone was inside, you pulled Robin outside to have a moment alone with her. You sat at the edge of the pool, the very same spot that you two had confessed your feelings for one another. “Hey pretty lady.” You say, giving her a small kiss on her nose. 

“Hi there, beautiful.” She giggled. “You having a good time tonight?” She asked.

“I’m having an even better time now that I get to sit here with you.” You laid your head on her shoulder. You both had your feet in the pool and just sat and talked.

Robin started to go on about a movie that she had seen the other day and you couldn’t help but just stare at her and smile. She looked beautiful with the moonlight beaming on her. You were thinking about her cute freckles and how you could kiss them for hours on end, how her eyes sparkled when she was talking about the things she was passionate about, and how when she wears her hair up like she was tonight, there was always hair in front of her face and you’d have to move it out of the way for her. She was just perfect to you and was everything you had ever dreamed of. 

She noticed you staring at her and stopped talking about the movie. “What? Oh god, is there something on my face?” She asked frantically, wiping her face. 

You moved her hands out of her face and just held them in yours. “No no, there’s nothing on your face my love.” You giggled. “I just- I just love you so so much. More than anything in this world. You’re my everything Robin.” 

“I love you too, so damn much.” She smiled and kissed your forehead. You both sat there in silence, just enjoying each other’s company in the cool night.

“And with that, congratulations class of ‘86!” Principal Higgins announced. You and the rest of your classmates threw your caps in the air in celebration. The auditorium was roaring with cheers and clapping from all the loved ones that had attended. Everyone had piled out into the parking lot and soon you met with your grandparents.

“We’re so proud of you darling!” Said your nana as she gave you a hug and a kiss, your papa following soon after. You thanked them and looked around for your friends and Robin.

 “And there he is!” Your nana exclaimed as Eddie and his uncle Wayne approached you. She pulled him in for a big hug. Your grandparents loved Eddie as if he was a part of your family. 

“We’re so proud of you Eddie!” Eddie could barely talk, he was fighting back tears all day. He just nodded in response, they knew what a big day this was for not just you, but for Eddie as well. Wayne had the biggest smile on his face all day. He loved and adored Eddie as if he were his son. He couldn’t be more proud of him. 

Before you and Eddie met up with the rest of your friends to celebrate your achievements, you pulled him aside to have a moment with him. 

“Eddie, I’m so beyond proud of you and how far you’ve come. You deserve great things in life, truly you do and I hope you know that. I’m so incredibly grateful to have met you and to have you as not only my best friend, but as someone that I consider family. You mean so much to me, I love you so much Eds.” You say to him. 

He couldn’t hold his tears back anymore. He began to sob and you pulled him in for a hug. You don’t know where you’d be without Eddie. Yes, Robin was your girlfriend, but Eddie was your person. Just like Steve was to Robin. 

“Okay, I think I'm good now.” Eddie said, pulling away from the hug. You handed him a tissue to wipe his eyes and blow his nose.. He didn’t want people to see him be vulnerable, that was a private moment for him and only a few people got to see him like this. You were one of them. Eddie trusted you more than anyone and he knew that you would never judge him or pick on him for the way that he was. He gained his composure and you both made your way to the rest of your friends to continue the celebration.

You and Robin sat in your usual spot in the field at the park having a picnic. It was her turn to pack the lunch and whenever it was her turn, she ALWAYS made sure to pack your favorites. You both had finished eating and were currently laying your head on Robin’s stomach while painting her nails. You giggled to yourself as you saw the tanlines where her rings were. 

“Can I tell you something?” She asked.

“Of course you can my love!” You say looking up at her. 

“I uh, this is gonna sound so stupid. Promise me you won't laugh at me okay?” She said with nervousness.

“I would never laugh at you baby.” You reassured her.

“Well before all of this-” She said, waving her hands around, indicating that she meant everything before you. “I used to think- oh god, I used to think that you were mean and scary.” 

You sat up from your spot and looked at her. “Me?”

She looked down, like she was embarrassed. “Yeah…”

“Now why would you think that you goose?” You chuckled.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!” She chuckled a bit.

“I’m not laughing at you, I promise! You’re just silly is all! Was it because I was a cheerleader?” You asked.

Robin nodded.

“Well am I still mean and scary now?” You ask as you tickle her. You both fell over and you continued to tickle her. 

“I surrender! I surrender!” She laughed. You both chuckled together for a bit before just laying there. You moved a piece of hair out of her face and pulled her in for a kiss. Robin smiled into the kiss, she was truly happy. The kiss lasted for a bit longer until Robin pulled away. “I have something for you.” She said softly to you. She sat up and pulled a gift she had packed out of the basket. 

“For me?” You ask sitting up. She handed you the gift and you kindly took it from her. You opened it and gasped at what was revealed. “No way!! You didn’t!” You exclaimed quickly unwrapping the rest of the present. Robin giggled. She had gotten you the entire Lord of the Rings book collection, including The Hobbit. 

“This is perfect, thank you my sweet angel!” You thanked and gave her another kiss. 

“You’re very welcome, I wanted to get you something special for graduation. I know you’ve been wanting to read all the books and now you don’t have to borrow Eddie’s beat up copies anymore.” She chuckled. It was true, Eddie’s copies had been through the ringer, he’s read them so much.

“I may have also gotten you a gift.” You say turning to your bag and grabbing a box with a bow on it. 

“What is it?” She asked with a confused look on her face.

“Well open it and find out silly!” You chuckled.

She opened the box and her face lit up. “You remembered!” She said with awe. 

“Of course I did, I was there when it broke, remember silly?” You had gotten her a new chain since her last one broke while at a cookout at Eddie’s. 

“Thank you baby, I love it!” She thanked.

“Here let me help.” You had her turn around so you could help her put it on. “There, it’s perfect.” You say as she turns back to face you. You both stayed there for a while before it was time to meet everyone at the new ice cream shop. 

“What took you guys so long?” Sam asked as she pulled you in for a hug. 

“Yeah?! What were you two doing hmm?” Eddie teased. 

“Okay calm down, we were at the park!” Robin laughed.

You all stood in line and waited to order your ice cream. There was a good amount of people there already waiting or eating their frozen treat. “Is this place even any good?” You asked. 

“Yes!” The younger ones exclaimed in unison.

“How do you know? I thought this place was brand new?” You questioned.

“It was actually a shop in the mall before it had burned down.” Steve stated. You nodded your head to show you understood. “You know-”

“Oh hey would you look at that, we’re up next!” Robin interrupted. You looked at her with suspicion. 

Once everyone had their ice cream, you found a table and sat down. “Hey guys-” Dustin started as he motioned toward Steve and Robin. “Do you remember when you used to work at Scoops Ahoy?” 

You almost spit out your ice cream. “I’m sorry, what?!” You exclaimed.

“That’s what I was trying to say earlier before SOMEBODY interrupted me!” Steve stated looking to Robin. 

“Is this true?” You asked, turning to your girlfriend, who had embarrassment written all over her face. 

“Oh yeah! They had to wear uniforms and everything, the same as the ones they’re wearing I’m pretty sure!” Lucas said as he pointed to the workers behind the counter.

“Oh please tell me you still have that uniform!” You gasp and say to Robin.

“I may or may not still have it…” She said softly to you. “But what I DO have are photos of King Steve in his uniform!” Robin chuckled.

“Oh now that I absolutely HAVE to see!” Eddie proclaimed. 

The entire group started laughing. You all were joking around with each other and having a good time. You lay into Robin as you all watch the sunset. You couldn’t help but start to think about the year you’ve had. Moving to Hawkins, meeting Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire gang, all the drama with Chrissy, and most importantly, meeting and falling in love with Robin. You began to get emotional just thinking about everything. 

“Hey, you okay? What’s the matter love bug?” Robin asked as she noticed you getting teary eyed. She pulled you closer to her to comfort you.

You sniffled and shook your head. “Nothing’s wrong, everything is just- perfect. You’re perfect.” You say interlocking your fingers with hers. You never wanted this moment to end. There you were with the people you cared about more than anything. Life felt amazing, despite the ups and downs you faced this year. You wouldn’t have changed a thing.

“I love you so much.” Robin said, giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

You looked up at her and smiled. “I love you too.”

The End ♡

[buckleyx]

hi, babes! i was wondering if you could possibly write a Buck imagine where the reader has awful parents, and is just comforting ? sorry if not! i’m also sorry if you’ve already gotten this request, my asks don’t send a lot - 🪐

FIX THE FAMILY E.B

the gif i used is not mine! all credit goes to the owner!

Author’s note: Hiya love! Sorry it took a while but here u go :)) I hope it's a bit what you had in mind. I love soft buck :(

Evan Buckley x gender!neutral reader

Summary: Your sister started a project to 'fix the family' and you're not sure how to feel about it.

Warnings: mentions of bad parenting + bad upbringing and toxic family relationships but comforting buck <33

masterlist

"Not again." You sighed, cursing under your breath as you saw your screen lid up. A blue text message covered the happy lock screen picture of you and Buck. You didn't even have to guess to know who it was from. Your sister had been bugging you all night about a family dinner. You had already politely declined 3 times but she kept pushing. You didn't blame her, your upbringing was a complete different story then hers.

She still had contact with your parents, even visits them every few weeks and she made an unofficial promise to 'try and fix the family.' As much how you despised the idea you couldn't fully blame her for trying. She was the youngest and the most successful and very clear the favorite.

You love LA, your life is here now and you don't feel the need to fix anything. You are happy where you are. You build something here, something personal and safe and your not ready to see it all fall apart again.

"Everything alright?" Buck asked, his head peaking through the door. You sighed, gently throwing your phone on the countertop. Buck's brows knitted together as he slowly made his way over to you. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Without saying a word, you tiredly leaned your head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist, giving a soft kiss against your temple. "I don't know." You sighed. "It's my parents."

Buck knew you didn't have a fantastic relationship with them but the topic didn't come out often. Just like his parents. You had talked about your shared struggles but you both didn't like unnecessary mentioning it since it was such a heavy subject to touch for the both of you. You both just didn't wanna push anything. But when it did, when the topic came up in conversation, you both were as supportive as ever. Buck especially, you couldn't ask for anyone better in your life then him.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He comforted, brushing his fingers against your cheek. "It's fine." You brushed off. "My sister just thinks she can magically fix the family. I'm surprised they even let her try."

"Maybe they don't know."

"Yeah probably. I haven't seen them in so long. Why now? Why suddenly does she wants to change things now?"

"Have you asked her?"

"No not yet." You admitted, playing with his hair. "Last time I talked to them was Christmas eve."

Buck thought back at the memory and gave you a kind sympathetic smile as he recalled how the evening ended. It was a messy day full of nasty remarks and bitchy comments. First they didn't approve of your job, then of your boyfriend and then they felt the need to break everything else in your life apart. The list could go on forever. It was just horrible. Your brows knitted together as you tried your best to block out the memory. A sigh left buck's lips, he hated seeing you like this. He hated that he couldn't do more to help you. "They treated you afwul, y/n. It's okay not to forgive them."

"I know."

"I didn't forgive my parents." He admitted. "And I honestly don't think I ever will."

"If you want to contact them again, wait until your ready and when you truly want it for yourself. Not because someone forced you to. The same happend to me, I wasn't ready and it turned out into a big big mess." You fell quiet for a second, Buck was right but you had to take a moment to let the thoughts in your mind process everything. You went over every scenario about how that reunion could go before confirming that it wasn't time yet. You weren't ready. And that's okay. Maybe you'll never be ready and that's okay too.

You brushed away some of Buck's hair that had fallen in his face, your hand rested on his cheek before you leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. "Thank you." You said softly before giving him another kiss. The buckley gave you kind smile. "Come on. I'll make you some dinner. It It will help you clear your head."

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[cecilyv]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @screamlet

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 14 (and, full disclosure, all but some of the tumblr fics are with @liminalmemories21)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 151,628

3. What fandoms do you write for? 9-1-1

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? In order: Awful quiet here since love fell asleep (9-1-1, the break up, make up fic), Atlas (bound) (9-1-1, the Buckley parents are trash fic), Baggage that goes with mine (9-1-1, Tommy begins), (I'm in love) but I do not speak the language (9-1-1, the relationship discovery one), and I'll cover you (9-1-1, part II after Baggage, when Buck and Tommy get a dog).

5. Do you respond to comments? I really try. @liminalmemories21 is much better at it than I am, but I do always intend to because each comment is my best beloved.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Erm, we don't really write angsty things? Awful quiet, Atlas and Inside, You've Got Heaven and Earth all start angsty, but don't end there?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oh, god, uh, probably What's with today, today? Mostly just because making them all librarians on Stuffie Day itself was an indulgent turducken of a dessert.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not so far, thankfully

9. Do you write smut? a hundred percent more than I ever imagined

10. Do you write crossovers? I drop them in Lim's chat all the time but one has never stuck. Like, the one from this week was Wolfram and Heart is based in LA and reopens and... I don't know, Lindsey sticks around with his evil hand? THNK OF BUCK AND FREAKING OUT WITH THE CURSES AND THE RESEARCH SPIRALS AND...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Err, all of the recent ones because I am nothing (fandom-wise) without Lim

14. What's your all time favorite ship? I have no answer for this. I read like, a decade's worth of Stiles/Derek and literally never watched an episode of the show, but I watched SO MUCH Stargate because John/Rodney, my beloveds. I am still a sucker for a good Arthur/Eames. I would bow down if people brought back silver foxes Fraser/RayK. It's hard to have favorites after over 30 years in fandom.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Lim and I poke things to death, and definitely don't post a lot of them because we can't imagine things not being done before we put them out in the world -- see the Merlin fic of epicness that we started way over a decade ago and still sits in our google docs.

16. What are your writing strengths? I also think this is a thing best answered by others, like hi, Lim, how do I help? I honestly think I'm a better editor than writer? I'm not good about setting scenes, but I'm pretty good about taking drafts and massaging them?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I always want things to feel more lived in than I feel I can accomplish on my own.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I speak english and bad english, so I am terrible about this, but I totally understand that sometimes its warranted.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Popslash and Smallville, and hi, yes, I disappeared for two decades.

20. Favorite fics you've written?

Awful quiet did exactly what I wanted that fic to when we set out to write it, and while maybe I wish some of the OCs were handled better/differently, I'm still happy with how we got from the beginning to end.

The What Binds series definitely put Tommy in a place and time, and there's a reason there's four stories worth of it (hi, I'm super proud of the detail about Tommy losing his virginity to Dave Matthew Band because, come on, people).

I know that Inside, You've Got Heaven and Earth didn't really hit with people, but it addressed something I wanted to fiddle with for Buck and Tommy, and Lim was a trooper for going there with me.

[schrijverr]

You Must Be the Husband

Divergence from chapter 15, where Maddie knows Eddie is married to Buck when she arrives at the 118. However, she didn’t get the memo that she shouldn’t acknowledge that at work, so blows it in front of everyone when Buck introduces her to the team.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (pre-slash), Madney (pre-slash)

Warnings: implied domestic violence, implied internalized homophobia, mistaken homophobia

~~~

Chimney can take a lot, but watching Buck play firetruck simulator is its own special brand of painful. Seriously, how someone can be that bad at a game is truly miraculous, so Chimney has to let him know by insulting him with his most creative ones. It’s a hobby.

Then a voice calls out a greeting from below and Chimney nearly gets headbutted on the nose with how fast Buck looks up. He would make a comment about it, but he’s distracted by the voice saying: “I’m his sister, Maddie,” which explains why Buck is already at the banister.

In an awed voice that sounds fragile-y close to disbelieving, Buck says: “Maddie?”

Immediately Chimney shares a look with Hen. A sister? Buck had been a bit of a closed book about his parents and they assumed it was a sore spot and hadn’t pushed too much. When it came to family, they all knew not to be too nosy, but a whole sister? This is intriguing.

Hen nods and together they move towards the banister to see for themselves. Eddie is already fitting in well, having gone to see what’s up a beat before he and Hen even could.

When he peers over Eddie’s shoulder, Chimney’s breath is taken away. Down below is one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen, lighting up the room with her smile. “Oh my god, Evan.”

Evan.

Wow, Chimney doesn’t think he’s ever heard anyone refer to Buck as Evan. He remembers Buck telling them the name shift happened due to the academy having too many Evans. Either his sister is exempt from calling him Buck, didn’t get the memo or hasn’t talked to Buck in over a year.

Whatever the case, Buck doesn’t seem to care, running for the pole and sliding down as he says: “What-What are are you doing here? Oh my god!”

Buck sweeps her up into a big hug, lifting her from the ground and making her giggle. The noise is so angelic that Chimney doesn’t care how long she hasn’t talked to Buck or what her answer is to why she’s here, as long as she stays.

Then he has a minor crisis, because Maddie is a beauty and Chimney is kind of blown away by it, but watching Maddie and Buck check each other over after they lean back from their hug, makes him realize that Maddie is indeed Buck’s sibling. Suddenly they look very similar and Chimney doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to look Buck in the eye after this.

Luckily, Buck snaps him out of his crisis by asking: “You got this address form the cards? So you did get them?”

Intrigued they await Maddie’s response. They’re trying to figure out why they have never heard him mention a sister before and they’re all nosy enough to want to know more now that the opportunity presents itself.

Maddie grimaces apologetically, but she sounds pretty casual when she replies: “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch much lately.”

Maybe they just drifted apart and they finally have time for each other again, maybe it’s not that bad. But, going off Buck’s look that might also not be true, which is confirmed when he scoffs: “Years, Maddie. I haven’t heard from you in years.”

Chimney looks at Hen, who is already giving him a look back. Whatever Buckley family drama they have going on, it’s juicy. And goes deep.

When Maddie speaks again, something feels wrong in Chim’s chest. Her voice sounds off, horribly empty like no one should sound, especially compared with how she sounded before. “Yeah, I know. And it’s not what I wanted.”

Buck must have more information, because he takes the reply without getting angry at how dismissive it could sound. Instead, he sounds apprehensive, though also hopeful, as he asks: “Where’s Doug?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Maddie responds, sounding like before again. Happy and proud.

“You left him? Finally!” Buck exclaims excitedly.

“Uh-huh,” Maddie nods pridefully with a big grin on her face.

Dread, meanwhile, fills Chimney’s stomach, shared with those around him. They’ve all worked in this line of work for long enough to piece together who Doug is and why Buck would be excited about her leaving him.

This feeling only grows as Buck softly asks: “Do mom and dad know?” and Maddie answers: “No one knows. And please don’t tell them if they call. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m here.”

The answer only makes the situation more grim and if Chimney knows these people – and he likes to think he does, even Eddie though he’s new – then they’re all in agreement; the 118 will welcome Maddie with open arms and keep her safe.

Bobby communicates that to Buck when he catches his eyes as he aims for casual when responding to Maddie. “Kind of sounds like you’re hiding out.”

“No,” Maddie assures him, deflecting, “more like laying low.”

At this point, they’ve reached the top of the stairs and Chimney quickly moves to fake a conversation with Hen, all of them pretending they hadn’t been eavesdropping and are being interrupted in what they were doing to greet Maddie.

“Hi, everyone, I’m sorry, I don’t know if I know your names, but I’m Maddie. I’m Evan’s older sister,” she greets with a soft smile and Chimney wonders how someone so beautiful and sweet could be related to Buck.

“These are my coworkers,” Buck quickly steps in, gesturing to all of them as he goes. “This is Bobby, our Captain. This is Chimney and Hen, they’re badass paramedics.” Chimney is grateful for that introduction, because his smile and wave combo probably looks a little stupid. “And this is Eddie.”

However, because life is cruel and the world bleak, Maddie’s eyes light up when Eddie is introduced and she steps towards him first to shake his hand, bypassing everyone else. The Universe hates him and- “You must be the husband.” Wait, what?

A record scratch can almost be heard as everyone processes the sentence.

Eddie is moving to shake her hand, but freezes halfway through the movement, eyes growing wide. Maddie frowns as she takes his limp hand in her own to shake. Before anything else can be said, Buck snaps back into motion, with an awfully fake and awkward chuckle. “Huh, what are you talking about, Maddie?”

Now, Maddie is looking at him with a frown and Buck looks to be having some sort of fit with the way he keeps widening his eyes and moving his eyebrows as if to convey some message. If any of them had bought what he just said – which none of them had, mind you – then they definitely wouldn’t anymore now. Even Eddie, who is definitely involved in this somehow, seems unimpressed with the lie.

Maddie is even more confused than them, her frown deepening. “What? Eddie. Eddie Diaz? That’s your husband, right? I swore you mentioned in your last card that he was a firefighter too.”

“You’re married?” Hen shrieks, breaking out of her stupor first.

With Hen out of her stupor, Chimney follows. “And to him?” Eddie seems a little offended at that.

“Noooo,” Buck says, another failed lie.

“Evan, what’s happening?” Maddie asks, starting to get concerned.

Hen also frowns in concern, saying: “You know we wouldn’t be homophobic, right? We don’t care that you’re gay.”

“I’m not gay,” Eddie scowls, becoming a part of the conversation for the first time.

Buck winces and the others only get more confused. Chimney checks: “So, you’re not Buck’s secret sudden husband, who shares your exact name and occupation?”

Eddie blushes and looks away, before muttering: “No, I am. I’m just not gay.”

“Being bi or pan also isn’t a problem,” Hen says gently.

“I know that, I’m not that either. I’m straight,” Eddie explodes.

Everyone takes a step back at the intensity and Eddie hunches in on himself uncomfortably. Chimney doesn’t know what to think of it and after seeing Hen’s look, he’s a little suspicious of the outburst. But Buck comes to Eddie’s defense. “What Eddie means, is that it’s just a friends thing.”

“You two got married… as friends?” Bobby asks, clearly still trying to keep up with the conversation and trying to figure out what exactly is happening.

“Yes! Yes,” Buck snaps his finger pointing at Bobby. “That. Exactly that. Married as friends.”

“Since when do you two even know each other? You met two months ago,” Chimney says, also confused and trying to figure out what is happening.

“You didn’t tell your coworkers you guys were married?” Maddie exclaims, hands on her hips as she turns to Buck. “Or that you know each other? How did you explain Chris?”

“Who the fuck is Chris?” Hen asks, usually not one to swear, but probably as fed up with the confusion and new reveals as the rest of them.

At that, Maddie seems to explode more, exclaiming: “You didn’t tell them about your kid?”

“Uh, no, it- it didn’t really come up,” Buck stutters, then half muffled he adds: “Purposefully or whatever.”

“What?” Maddie shrieks with a fury that has Chimney realizing many things about himself and feeling a little hot under the collar.

“I said, it didn’t really come up on purpose, Maddie,” Buck yells back, seeming to suddenly snap. “You haven’t been there for years and there were times when I needed you and you weren’t there. I was alone, raising a kid by myself in a town that hated me and the only two people in my corner were halfway across the world and not talking to me. Or do you not remember those cards? You can’t just waltz back in and immediately start judging everything I’ve done for myself.”

If Eddie’s outburst hadn’t been a shock, Buck’s certainly is. Not only does Buck rarely yell, he never gets angry like this, even Eddie seems to need a second.

They’re also trying to process the reveal of a kid, who appears to be Buck’s? Who he’d been raising alone, before Eddie? No, Eddie might have already been there, but halfway across the world. Two people, he mentioned two people. Must be while Eddie was on a tour, but that was already a while ago from what they understood. How long have they known each other?

Eddie snaps out of his stupor first, stepping closer to Buck and placing his hand on the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Now that they know there is something – the details are still muddled – between them, Chimney suddenly notices how familiar the gesture is. How familiar they both are with each other, as Buck leans into it for a second, before pulling himself back together.

Maddie looks to be near tears and Buck is more gentle when he speaks again. “I know, you couldn’t just come and that you would have. I didn’t mean that, I don’t blame you for that. You just threw me off for a bit there. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Evan, I’m sorry too,” Maddie cries, pulling Buck into a hug. “I know you hate people yelling at you, I shouldn’t have done it. You threw me off too.”

“I can imagine that,” Buck chuckles into the hug, squeezing her once, before letting her go again.

Tentatively, Bobby steps in, directing the conversation into a direction that will get the rest of them the answers they need. Gently he says: “Why don’t we all take a moment. I was about to make lunch, we can sit down and chat, clear everything up.”

Buck and Eddie share a look that clearly shows both are apprehensive about that idea, but the 118 is all curious and Maddie seems to be excited at the prospect of hanging out more with the people her brother had told her all about in his cards, so their fate is sealed.

Once they’re all seated, Hen starts off, asking Buck and Eddie: “So, how long have you guys known each other? Since it’s definitely not two months.”

“Uh, it’s about-” Buck is quiet as he counts for a moment “-three years now? Yeah, three years.”

“And the married thing?” Chimney asks nosily.

“Two years.” It’s Eddie that answers, curtly and doesn’t invite further questions.

However, the 118 has never cared about hostile tones when it comes to nosing about and Buck is a terrible liar, so they turn to him. With Chimney saying: “So, Chris. Is he your kid? Where’s his mom?”

“Uh,” Buck looks awkwardly at Eddie for a moment, then answers: “I mean, legally, he’s mine, and like emotionally.”

They all whip their heads around to Eddie, who is sinking down in his chair, looking like he wants to be anywhere but here. The crossing of his arms makes it clear that he isn’t going to answer any questions they might ask him about it. Naturally, this means they look back to Buck.

Buck looks similar to a deer in headlights and Chimney feels a little bad. However, in the past few minutes they had to process so much new information about him, that he needs this information. He has to have all his ducks in a row, so he can square this new Buck away.

Seriously, in the span of like fifteen minutes, he’s gone from frat boy with a bad relationship with his parents, to having a sister, to having a husband – a husband that is Eddie – to having a kid, to not having a husband, technically, to not having a kid, technically.

“Biologically, he’s Eddie’s and his mom is not in the picture. It’s why we got married, so Eddie could re-deploy while I looked after Chris,” Buck answers quickly and in one breath, before very obviously deflecting: “Anyway, Maddie. I haven’t seen you in forever and this is your first time in LA. Gonna see the sights, hang around for a little bit?”

Despite it being a deflection, he sounds heartbreakingly hopeful and Chimney hopes for Buck’s sake (and his own maybe) that Maddie won’t decline. However, she isn’t meeting any of their eyes as she says: “I’m just passing through.”

“Is it because you don’t have a place to stay?” Buck asks, sending a look to Eddie, who wordlessly picks up on the question, nodding his consent. “Because you can always stay with me and Eddie. You can have my room, I can take the couch or share with Eddie. Right, man?”

“Uh, yeah, yes, of course,” Eddie says. They all saw him nod earlier, so the hesitation has to do with Buck suggesting they share.

Chimney doesn’t know how to feel about it. Eddie never came across as homophobic towards Hen and he must be at least somewhat okay with being perceived as gay, since he married Buck. You need some sort of security in yourself for that, right? But he isn’t acting like it today.

“I’m not going to kick you out of your own bed, Evan,” Maddie tells him, slightly scolding.

“It’s totally fine, I promise,” Buck practically pleads with how desperate he is to keep her in his life, it’s a little sad to watch. “I won’t be out of a bed. Me and Eddie shared a bed before, back in Texas. And Chris would love you. Come on, Mads, you don’t wanna meet your nephew? He’d be thrilled to have an extra tía. His other two are back in Texas.” Maddie hesitates for a moment, and Buck pulls out the puppy dog eyes no one is immune to. “Please, Maddie.”

“If it’s really no intrusion,” she finally gives in, looking at Eddie for confirmation, while next to him Buck lights up like a Christmas tree.

Eddie’s defensiveness and hesitation falls away for a moment as he assures her. “Of course it’s not a problem, Maddie. You’re always welcome in our home.”

“Then maybe I can stay for a little while,” Maddie says, accepting the offer finally.

With that out of the way, Hen decides it’s okay to butt in again and be nosy. “So, you two bought a house together?”

“Yeah, a three bedroom,” Buck answers excitedly. “It was truly an upgrade from our old place. We lucked out, cause the sellers needed it gone. They’ve moved to Europe to be with their grandkids, raised their own children in that house. They had a soft spot for Chris and the man was an army vet himself, so Eddie’s service probably connected with him.”

Chimney is pretty sure Buck has no clue how married he sounds, just being his excitable self. Looking over at Maddie and Hen, they seem to realize the same thing. Even Bobby, who is working on lunch (listening in, because he’s a sneaky bastard, who knows conversations can be different when people forget the Captain is there) has a pained look for Buck on his face. The only person that seems completely oblivious, is Eddie.

Eddie just snorts: “I’m pretty sure, Mrs. Pitchard was just charmed by you. Remember when we came to pick up the keys and she wouldn’t stop squeezing your cheek?”

“Oh shut up,” Buck blushes, though a part of him looks very pleased.

Without his permission, Chimney looks over to Hen to share a look with her. She, naturally, is already sharing a look right back.

When he looks back over to Eddie and Buck again, he catches Maddie’s eyes. For a second, he thinks he’s blown any chance with her by being obviously gossip-y about her baby brother, but then she grins at him and hides a giggle. Chimney’s heart explodes, oh yeah, he so has an in.

Hen, however, is not busy with flirting with Buck’s sister, so she remains on target. “Still, a house together, that’s a huge financial commitment. Why don’t you two rent?”

“Everyone knows buying is better when you can,” Buck says with an air that says he came from an upper middle class family.

“You have that kind of money?” Chimney can’t help but ask, sounding a little surprised. Their firefighter salary isn’t the greatest, though it’s not bad, and before now, neither him nor Eddie had given off the impression of having a lot of money.

“Uh, no, not really,” Buck admits sheepishly. “Eddie got lucky that the house was his in the divorce and we got lucky with the sellers. But we have a pretty big mortgage. It’ll take a while to pay off, especially with all the other childcare costs.”

Maddie sends him a weird look and asks: “What happened to the money mom and dad gave you. Don’t tell me you managed to blow through it all, before even meeting Eddie.”

“No, of course not,” Buck defends himself, looking slightly upset that she’d think that. “That money was for college and I didn’t go to college, remember?”

“They made you give it back?” Maddie exclaims.

“Yeah,” Buck shrugs, like it’s not a big deal. “I didn’t miss it. I worked a lot of different jobs, that was kind of fun. And my lack of money caused me to get stranded in El Paso. Without it, I never would have met Chris, the best Diaz there is.”

Still, despite his blasé attitude, it’s clearly a sore spot. However, before Maddie can press more, Eddie steps in, deflecting: “Hey, shouldn’t I be your favorite Diaz?”

“Tsk, come to me with dinosaur facts and maybe – just maybe – you can begin to compete,” Buck huffs playfully.

That sets Eddie off again and any conversation they had is completely derailed as the two of them bicker- well, they bicker like a married couple. It makes the defensive Eddie from earlier seem even more out of place.

Bobby serves lunch to everyone, cutting the argument off as he takes a seat. “Maddie, I’d love to get to know you better, but first, I do have to ask your brother, why he and Eddie pretended not to know each other.”

“Of course, we’ll meet more properly later,” Maddie smiles. “I’m also a little curious about that, since I seem to have missed that card.”

With so much new information thrown at them, they had all but forgotten about that detail. However, now that Bobby reminded them again, they’re all curious, looking at Buck and Eddie for answers.

Again, Buck takes the lead in explaining, while Eddie pretends that he is anywhere else but here.

“We thought it wasn’t necessary to file fraternization paperwork and stuff, because we’re not actually together, but then it felt weird to pull a good friend out of nowhere that I had never mentioned. Plus, we kind of thought you’d retreat the offer, if you knew we were married, and then we wouldn’t get to work together, so we decided to lie.” He has the decency to look sheepish. “Maybe not our brightest moment.”

All of them blink for few times at the explanation, trying to comprehend that thought process. Chimney thinks Buck’s description was pretty apt: not their brightest moment indeed.

Bobby is the first to speak again, clearing his throat. “Yes, I probably would have retracted the offer,” he confirms. “But you two can work well in the field. I can probably get something worked out.” He pauses for a moment, then adds: “Though, I don’t know if the paperwork for this situation exists.”

Maddie snorts into her hand, chuckling: “Evan, you always find yourself in trouble, don’t you? Still a little rule breaker.” More people laugh at that.

“Shut up,” Buck blushes.

“Nah-uh, I need to hear more about this,” Hen chimes in eagerly.

“Maddie, don’t,” Buck warns.

But Maddie doesn’t listen, lighting up as she tells them embarrassing stories about Buck’s childhood. In spite of his embarrassment, Buck doesn’t seem to mind fully, taking the ribbing with grace and a cheerful look on his face to see Maddie shine the way she does.

Chimney, for one, can’t find it within himself to disagree. Maddie looks stunning when she’s happy and he loves getting to know her better too. In fact, he doesn’t even care about the Eddie and Buck married reveal when she’s here talking instead.

Mentally, he’s already parsing through how weird it would be to be an uncle to Buck and Eddie’s kid. Maybe, he can teach this Chris to be better at firetruck simulator than his dad is.

~~

A/N:

I’m sorry, but ‘straight’ Eddie will always be hilarious to me. Every time I write one of these AUAUs, I am chuckling to myself whenever I write the words ‘Eddie’ and ‘straight’ in the same sentence. It’s just too good. Like, I know you’re a homo, sir, don’t try to hide xp

(don't worry Hen and Chimney will clock the truth in minutes and team up with Maddie to play matchmaker, bc she has to live with their tomfoolery)

[eddiegettingshot]

do you think the sperm donor storyline could have been good in theory? and, say it would be well-executed, which of the three buck storylines would you have preferred and how do you think it should have played out? i don't think the captaincy storyline would have ever been interesting to me (esp compared against hen's journey w captaincy, which is more interesting to me personally tho the way they played out the med school arc is 🙄), but i think either the sperm donor or lightning storylines could have been good if better executed. i think only one of the three should have been in the season tho.

i absolutely do think the sperm donor storyline could have been well-executed! it was just so ridiculous to have opened this door for this character whose entire life has been molded around being “born for parts” and then? instead of tackling that in his decision-making process it was just linked to this OTHER stupid storyline about trying to find happiness and the meaning of life (which he never ended up doing anyway, so there’s a fourth thing that fell flat in this season)?

but yeah i so agree with you, the captaincy/leadership thing was so weak to me with hen in the way and frankly i’m not at all convinced by buck as a leader at this point so they’d have had to do a lot of work to get him there.

i think the lightning arc should have been his main storyline in the season, but i actually feel like they could have probably connected the sperm donor arc to the lightning arc if they had - again - reckoned with buck’s childhood trauma? i mean the most egregious thing about the lightning arc is that it began the buckley parents’ redemption by explicitly reinforcing the cycle they’d been in for buck’s entire life lmao. literally such an awful choice.

[queerfables]

911 season 6 liveblog part 3

6x12

I love this scene with Wendall carefully pulling down Bobby's walls. I'm keen to see more Bobby content (tbh every character they ever focus on I'm like "Yeah! More of this please!" because they have great characters and always nail the character driven stuff

Oh shit Wendall checked himself in to try and help the people in there? Oh no

Buckley siblings taking care of each other T_T

Lmfao @ Josh being like "did I get my time wrong?"

Oh no cute Buck is hiding from Maddie's check ups at Eddie's

AND THEN HE IMMEDIATELY FALLS ASLEEP THAT'S SO CUTE

Jesus this is an extremely fucked frame up job

Is it bad that I feel a lot more chill about Bobby being arrested than I might otherwise on account of he's married to a cop?

Aw, Buck is fucked up about almost dying. Hugs for him.

6x13

Buck got maths superpowers? That's hilarious and amazing

Yeah so this is why you can't help kids lie to their parents

But it's kind of fair of Denny to be upset when he was just in a car accident and his dad is in surgery. This is was maybe not the right way to approach that conversation.

Oh God I hope this lady who lied about being Maddie and Chimney's neighbour isn't going to try and take Jee-Yun

Are Buck and Eddie on a date??

Why are they all dressed up together this is so cute

Buck is suddenly a poker genius this is fun

Oh Eddie is so into it

Karen giving voice to my exact thoughts, Nathaniel should have told them!!

Okay this is getting ridiculous are they not allowed to say the word vibrator on network TV or something?

Buck do NOT call women you haven't spoken to in years to ask them if they were sexually satisfied for fucks sake

I would love to hear what Taylor has to say though she would be so mean about it

6x14

Chimney trying to get back on track to his Guiding Light speech about Bobby xD

Robbie!!

Jesus Christ I knew something bad was going to happen to productivity obsessed boss but I still was not prepared for how awful it was gonna be

Nobody but Athena could make citing legalese sound so dramatic and moving

Lmfao "how about this book?" and the tiny child shaking her head dramatically

Aw Bobby sent Chimney to the academy to get Robbie back that's soft

6x15

Wait are they trying to resuscitate the corpse

Oh I see she's not dead

A living funeral. Huh.

Awww Buck is hitting it off with the end of life doula

I wonder if Maddie and Chimney are being audited because they filed taxes as individuals but they're actually a defacto couple

For fucks sake what happened to no info they don't ask for. Guys come on.

Omg did Athena's collar fake his death??? Amazing

There is no way it can by true that getting married has such a major impact on your taxes. Where I live, there isn't really a difference between marriage and defacto relationships. Can that be true??? America is bizarre

I am rapidly catching up on this show and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that

6x16

Hen and Chimney got arrested?? Lmfao!!!

Lmfao everyone is planning the wedding even before Chimney proposes

Watch that child with the ring please

"You guys realise you're just pitching potential calls right?"

Oh no Hen and Buck are on opposite sides of the should Chimney propose question that's bad

Lol one of these characters of the week randomly has the exact first and last name as an ex boyfriend of mine

I bet the kid is at the book shop

Oh I get why Hen and Chimney were arrested now.

Lmfao of course it's gone

I'm pretty sure Jee has the ring and that Maddie is gonna find it and propose to him because that would be so cute

Oh Hen you're so worried about him

This was probably not the way to tell him though

LMFAO Athena stopping Chimney from saying her name so she doesn't have to arrest him for real

Little Jee's cute babbles as she wanders around

"Tiger tiger tiger!" "Is that a carrot?" So true.

[outrunningthedark]

i feel like the 911 fandom has started romanticizing the eddie-shannon relationship more than eddie does makes me 😑😑😑

(sorry not sure why i sent this to you specifically at this moment in time except that i've been thinking it and i think you might agree lol)

Lord, are they still on about that? I have no time nor patience for people who find reasons to be uWu over Eddie and Shannon because those same people can't keep it consistent. If Eddie's parents were awful for their emotional and physical (a dad who was barely around because of work) neglect towards Eddie, then Shannon should be viewed the same way. Not even a damn phone call. If the Buckley parents don't get a pass for not knowing how to love and care for their children because their grief consumed them (it wasn't *just* about the baby with "defective parts", otherwise Maddie wouldn't have suffered, too), then people shouldn't be all "But...but...cerebral palsy is tough stuff! No parent asks for/expects that." Any good parent doesn't ask for their kid to die, or expects to bury them, either, so. What's your point? The truth of the matter is that Shannon is treated differently for these reasons: - she was a younger woman who could be romantically connected to Eddie (people loooove looking back at their sex life) - people like to create scenarios in their head where Eddie and Shannon and Buck are the younger version of the Grant-Nash fam. Eddie and Shannon stay close despite the past, Eddie starts dating someone new (specifically, a man, and more specifically, Buck) and Shannon embraces the change, though it may take her a minute to adjust at first. - Plain and simple, people have an easier time "understanding" Shannon abandoning her husband and kid because of the CP.

Treating your able-bodied kids like shit is a no-no regardless of what the parents are struggling with (the fandom forever glosses over the fact that Margaret was willing to end her own life after Daniel passed away...). And I *guarantee* if Chris had a more "common" neurodivergent condition she wouldn't get such sympathy. That's *their* upbringing they're watching on screen. Physical disability, though? Especially one that A LOT of folks know nothing about because they don't interact with it on the daily? That scares them. The idea that they could do everything "right" and still end up with a kid whose disability isn't always helped with a pill or therapy techniques scares them. They can't blame a mother for doing something they themselves can't say would never cross their mind.

[marie-swriting]

All Your life - Robin Buckley

Stranger Things Masterlist

Summary : Since you started dating Robin, you've been more and more distant with your friends and everyone feels like you're changing so much, even Robin who starts fearing she might be ruining your life.

Warnings : fluff, a little bit of angst, some jealousy, parties, bad friends, mention of dying because of the cold and car crash, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language so tell me if you see any or if I missed any warnings.

Word Count : 3.9k

French version

Song inspiration : Ruin My Life by Zolita

Hands on the wheel, you listen to Robin explaining to you Back To The Future passionately. She talks about every minute of the movie as she adds little comments about what she thinks. All your attention is focused on her, your eyes are also mostly set on her even though you’re driving. Robin is completely lost in her explanation so she doesn’t notice you’re distracted. When she finally realises, she reprimands you immediately.

“Calm down, I’m a real driver” You try to reassure her.

“I don’t want to die !”

“I know how to drive.”

“We'll talk about it the day you’ll have a car accident.”

“Hey !” you retort, appalled “Who is the one who has her driver licence between me and you ?”, you ask and she stays silent as you can see her annoyance on her face. “That's what I thought ! So you can’t criticise my driving.”

“I can when you put us in danger.”

“I know what I’m doing, Robs !”

“Yeah, well look at the road.” Robin orders you as she points in front of you.

“It’s not my fault if what you’re saying is interesting.”

“Do I have to remind you we listen with ears, not eyes ?”

“But I love watching your face lighting up when you talk about something you’re passionate about ! You’re even cuter when you can’t stop rambling.” You admit, making her cheeks turn red.

“Anyway, don’t make an accident !”

“Never, I care too much about you to put you in danger.”, you affirm, putting your hand on hers, “So you were saying ? Marty has to help his father ask out his mom to the ball ?”

Your question is enough to make her rambling once more. Robin starts analysing the movie again, but this time she makes sure you keep your eyes on the road.

Robin hasn’t finished talking about Back To The Future when you arrive at your destination half an hour later. You drove her to a lake you know. When you were younger, your parents used to take you there often. Not a lot of people know about it so you're pretty sure you’re going to be alone for your date. You set your stuff on the ground for the picnic. When everything is ready, you look at Robin with a mischievous smile and she knows nothing good is going to come out of your mouth.

“What ?” she asks, fearing the worst.

“I hope you brought your bathing suit, like I told you.”

“I was hoping you weren’t serious.”

“I’m more than serious.” You smile and Robin’s eyes get wide.

“But the water must be so cold !”

“Wimp. Come on, let’s go !” You say as you start taking your clothes off so you’re only in your swimsuit.

You run toward the lake and jump without wasting time. The water is, indeed, cold, but you don’t mind. You swim a bit before screaming at Robin to join you when you see her in her bathing suit. With reluctance, she walks to the water. She takes a deep breath before coming to you, swimming quickly. You laugh when you hear her teeth chatter.

“It’s so freaking cold !” She exclaims as you take her in your arms.

“Don’t worry, you’re gonna get used to it in five minutes.”

“Five minutes ? It’s too long ! I’ll have time to die because of the coldness.”

“Why do you absolutely think everything I want to do today will kill you ?” 

Robin needs a second before answering you because of the cold.

“It’s not my fault if all of your actions can lead to an awful situation.”

“You’re not gonna die of hypothermia.” You state as you rub her arms to give her some warmth.

“If I don’t die in this cold water, I’m gonna get sick and that’ll kill me. I’m warning you, if it turns out true, I’ll haunt you.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Y/N !” She screams, horrified.

“I’m joking. I want you close to me, alive and in good health.” You reassure her before pecking her lips. “Let’s get out of the water ?”

“I thought you were never gonna ask it.”

She doesn’t give you time to answer before getting out of the water, hugging herself as much as she can. You laugh when you look at her like that, but deep down, you’re cold as well. You run to your car and pick up the towels and blankets. You go back to Robin and give them to her. She practically rips them out of your hands and dries herself fastly before enveloping herself in a blanket. When you’re done, you get closer to Robin, wanting to get both of you warm thanks to your body heat. 

“You’re almost blue.” You say after looking at her closely.

“No shit, your lake is like an iceberg !” She retorts, her teeth still chattering.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“So you’re telling me you’re not cold, too ?”

You don’t respond immediately so Robin looks at you as if you were an alien as she thinks you’re warm.

“A little, yeah.” You murmur with a smile.

“Ah, see !” 

When your body has returned to a normal temperature, you eat your picnic while Robin rambles on another subject. When you’re done, you lay down and embrace each other. You can’t be close physically as much as you want very often so you make sure to make the best out of it. In the middle of the afternoon, Robin’s head is on your chest and your hand loses itself delicately in her hair. You enjoy the warmth of the sun on your face, making this moment nicer. You close your eyes, relishing every second of it. At that moment, you think  to yourself you could stay in that position all your life. You want to stay with Robin all your life. Your romantic thoughts are stopped when Robin whispers your name.

“Yeah, Robs ?” You answer softly.

“You know we’re going back to school next week ?”

“Yes, I’m aware of it. Why ?”

“What are we going to do at school ?”

You stop stroking her hair and lift up her chin. You see on her face she’s nervous, you frown as you try to understand the reason.

“What do you mean ?”

Robin sits on the blanket as she tries to find a way to share her thoughts. Worried, you get in the same position, guessing it’s a serious conversation.

“Are we gonna act as if we don’t know each other ? Or are we going to pretend we’re just acquaintances ? I mean, in a perfect world, I’d ask you if you wanted us to act as a couple in front of everyone, but it’s not the case, so what are we going to do at school ?” she asks quickly.

“I want to be able to talk to you whenever I want. I can’t kiss you in front of everyone but I don't want to act as if you’re a stranger. I mean, if you’re cool with it, obviously ! If you prefer for us to be low-key about it, I’m okay with it.”

“I also want us to be as close to each other as we can.”

“Perfect then. Let them think we’re just best gal pals.” You smile and Robin does the same. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you, Jason told me he’ll have a party this friday to celebrate the end of the summer holiday, do you want to come with me ?”

“A party at Jason Carver’s ?”

“I know it sounds bad, but we don’t have to stay near him. We can just dance or stay with my friends. You can even invite Steve !”

“I think Steve has a date that night. But are you sure I can come ? He didn’t invite me.”

“The more, the merrier he is. There’s gonna be so many people, he won’t even realise there’s one more person. Besides, like I said, we can stay on our own and if it really sucks, we can always leave.”

“Alright, let’s go !” Robin confirms while you lay back down.

At Jason’s party, you talk with your friends whilst you’re waiting for Robin ー you couldn’t drive her so Steve is the one who brings her before heading to his date. Even if you’re listening to your friends, your eyes are set on the front door. When you see her coming, you don’t pay attention to your friends anymore and walk quickly to her. You don’t give her the time to react and hug her. She hugs you back immediately. When you break the embrace, you take her hand and bring her to your friends with a big smile on your face.

“Girls, I don’t know if y’all know her so this is Robin. She’s in the school’s band.” You smile, proudly.

“You play the saxophone, right ?” Your friend Crystal questions. 

“Huh, trumpet, actually.” Robin corrects her, embarrassed.

“Same thing.”

“Nice to meet you, Robin. Did you guys have classes in common last year ?” Chrissy asks.

“No, we became friends this summer. She needed my help to find a movie at Family Video.”

After Robin’s answer, your friends start talking to each other again until Chrissy catches Robin’s attention. 

“The drinks are in the kitchen if you want.”

“Right ! You must be thirsty.” you exclaim, “Let’s go. We’re coming back soon, girls.”

You bring Robin in the kitchen and pour her a drink after she told you what she wanted. You stay in the room to discuss, completely forgetting about your friends. You didn’t have the time to see each other after your picnic day so you make up for the lost time.

You’ve been talking for the past hour when Carol, another of your friends, comes and drags you on the dancefloor because her favourite song is playing. You don’t even have the time to apologise to Robin, because before you know it you’re already in the living room. You dance with your friend for thirty minutes when you finally manage to escape her to find Robin. You want to make sure she’s okay and you want to go to the living room with her as well. You don’t have to search for her very long. You find her in the kitchen, an empty glass in her, talking with a guy from the basketball team. You think he’s too close to her. Your jealousy makes an appearance without realising it. You walk toward them and stand next to Robin with a fake smile.

“Sorry to interrupt but I need to talk with Robin.”

“Sure.” Joshua nods but he doesn’t leave, making you even more annoyed.

“We should’ve left ten minutes ago to be sure to bring you back home on time.”, you say to Robin and she looks at you confused, “You should call your mom to let her know we’ll be late.”

“Wh-”, she starts but you look at her with insistence, “Oh yes ! It’s true. I should go, you’re right. See you, Joshua.”

You look while Robin is leaving the room before setting your gaze back on Joshua. Just by looking at him, you understand he’s totally attracted to her, making your jealousy grows bigger.

“Y/N, where have you been hiding that beautiful friend of yours all this time ? I never noticed her before.” He states with a grin.

“She’s in the school’s band. She’s there at every single match of yours.” You answer dryly.

“Now, I’ll know. Tell me, you’re good friends right ? So you know what her type is ?”

“Sorry, but you’re not her type.” You say, hoping he’ll let go. “Besides, she’s already with someone.”

“You know what we say, it’s not because there’s a goalkeeper that you can’t score.” He laughs and you try to not roll your eyes. “Is it serious with that guy ?”

“Yes, very serious.”, you state, crossing your arms on your chest, “This person loves Robin very much, just like Robin loves them. You don’t have a chance with her, Joshua. I have to go. Robin’s waiting for me.”

You ditch Joshua in the kitchen and leave Jason’s house. You meet Robin next to your car. You get in it and you start driving while your anger calms down.

“What was that made-up story about my mother ? I’m sleeping at your place and your mom set up a curfew at one am, it’s currently midnight.” Robin wants to know.

“I just wanted to leave the party. It sucked.”

“But, you were having fun with your friends.”

“I… I just wanted to spend some time with you.” You lie, but she sees right through you.

“There’s something else.”

“Alright, okay ! Maybe I was a little bit jealous.” You admit, ashamed.

“Why ?”

“Joshua.”

“He was a bit unbearable, but he was nice.” Robin says, confused.

“He was flirting with you !”

“What ? Not true !” She retorts and you laugh a little at her obliviousness.

“Robin, I can assure you he was. He even asked me what was your type and if you were with someone.”

“Oh… What did you tell him ?”

“That he doesn’t have a chance”, you start before biting the inside of your cheek, “And… I might have let slip that you were with someone. I didn’t say it was a girl, especially me, obviously, but he knows you’re in a relationship. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have, but my jealousy spoke for me ! He just upset me so much because he was sure he could try and hit on you even though I told him you weren’t his type.”

You don’t dare to look at Robin, fearing she’ll be angry at you. Though, you feel her hand on your thigh, she smiles at you before talking “At least, he’ll leave me alone. Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you.”

Like you agreed at the end of Summer Break, you keep seeing each other at school ; you talk, work and eat together. Some of your friends are surprised to see your sudden friendship with Robin seems that strong. Even though they don’t make any comments in front of you, they don’t hold themselves back when you and Robin are not around ; they’re especially mad that you’ve dared cancel a lot of your plans at the last minute because of Robin. Once, you didn’t even come to a cheerleading practice because Robin was sick, obviously, your girlfriend reprimanded you but you assured her it wasn’t that serious. Although, Crystal doesn’t hesitate before bringing up this moment whenever she can. Chrissy seems to be the only one of your friends to support your ‘friendship’ with Robin, she defends you when she hears the other girls talking behind your back. However, you know these ‘friends’ talk more and more against you. You’re not a fool, you see the looks they give you, especially if you mention Robin or if she’s close to you, but you don’t pay attention to it. You were never really close with them anyway and you knew since the beginning most of them were hypocrites so you’re not impressed. As long as you have Robin at your side, it’s all that matters. Crystal, Carol and the others can keep talking, you just want your girlfriend next to you.

One Friday night, in November, there’s a basketball game at school. As usual, you have your cheerleader uniform and show your support to the team. And for Robin, she motivates the players with her trumpet and the band. One of the advantages with those games is that you can watch Robin discreetly. It’s not rare that you laugh softly while you look at each other for too long. 

That night is no exception. With your teammates, you do your routine as the audience applauds you. At a moment, You make the mistake to look in Robin's direction, resulting in you messing up the choreography and end up accidentally stepping on Crystal's foot. She sends you a glare but you pay no mind to it. Robin tries to hold back her laughter as she plays the horn. You keep doing your routine as if nothing happened. 

At the end of the game, Hawkins High’s team wins so you do your special choreography until the players go to the locker room. When everything’s over, you and your teammates do the same. When you’re almost done changing, there are only two girls left in the locker room. You take your bag and walk to the door when Crystal stops you by standing in front of you, Carol next to her.

“Will you explain to me why you stepped on my foot ?” Crystal asks you with a questioning look.

“I just mixed up the steps, it happens.”

“It’s not the first time you’ve made a mistake like that since the beginning of the school year.” Carol notices and you roll your eyes.

“I just need to work on the routine more, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“You especially need to come to the practices and be focused.” Crystal retorts.

“Look, if you have something to say, tell me now instead of making insinuations.” You start getting angry.

“All I’m saying is you’re more and more distracted, particularly during the games. You’re always looking at the band.”

“You mean the audience ?”

“No, you’re always looking at the band in particular.” Crystal corrects you with a mischievous smile. “Isn’t that right, Carol ?”

“Usually you’re looking near Robin.” 

“So what ? I can’t look at my friend from time to time ?”

“I just find it weird that since you became friends with Robin you’re less and less invested. And don’t get me started on the times you dumped us, brought her or sneaked out at parties because of her. I mean, isn’t she supposed to have a boyfriend anyway ? She could leave us alone a bit.” Crystal continues and you clench your fists. 

“You should stop talking.”

“I don’t even know why you keep talking to her. She’s not mean but she’s weird, you have to admit it.”

“You take that back now. I forbid you from insulting her !” You lose your temper as you take a step forward.

“Calm down, I didn’t say anything mean !” Crystal defends herself. “Besides, last time you invited her, she didn’t stop talking about the last movie that came out at the movies. Like we get it, Breakfast Club is a masterpiece, but we don’t need to know every single detail about it.”

“It’s true it can be a bit annoying.” Carol nods, thoughtful. 

“If you’re not able to enjoy her company, I don’t know why I even bother talking to you. Robin is my best friend and it doesn't matter if you like it or not, I’m gonna keep hanging out with her.” You state. 

“That’s your problem, but stay focused during the games, I don’t need you to destroy my feet before the end of the year. I mean, that’s if Chrissy still wants to keep you on the team. With everything you’ve been doing since we're back to school, I wouldn’t be surprised if she kicks you out.” Crystal says, waiting for your reaction.

“You know what ? She won’t have to bother to do any of this because I quit.” You inform them, seriously. “I don’t want to be a cheerleader anymore and more than anything I don’t want to be friends with hypocritical people and people who need to bring down others.”

Mad, you pass by them and walk through the door. When you close it behind you, you find Robin with an awkward smile on her face. You throw yourself in her arms, needing her comfort. She hugs you back tighter. A few seconds later, you leave the school grounds and drive to Robin’s, because you sleep at her place. On your way home, she’s silent and you know her mind is preoccupied by something. You don’t ask her anything, knowing she’ll come to you when she’ll be ready.

Tired from your day, you don’t waste a second before putting your pyjamas on when you arrive. In the comfort of her bed, you hold each other in the dark. You slowly start falling asleep while Robin has her eyes wide open. Your breath starts being even when Robin shakes you a little. You open your eyes while Robin turns on the light on her nightstand. For a second, you block the light with your arm before looking at Robin sitting in front of you.

“Sorry”, she says about the light, “I just needed to talk to you about something.”

“Tell me.” You murmur with a sleepy voice.

“Did you really quit the cheerleaders ?” Robin asks you and you frown. “I heard you. I know you argued with your friends because of me. I didn’t want to create any problems, I feel bad.” She admits, avoiding your gaze.

“Robin, it’s not your fault.”

“It’s a secret for no one that they don’t like me and they accuse me of ruining everything you do.”

“They’re just stupids.” You state as you sit as well.

“They’re your friends.”

“Were.” You correct. “Besides, I was never close to them. I always knew they were waiting for the perfect excuse to put me down. There’s only Chrissy with whom I get along and I know despite me quitting, I’ll still talk to her so don’t worry about it.”

“But still ! You quit cheerleading because of me but you love it.” Robin exclaims, feeling guilty.

“I’m not gonna lie, I wanted to quit cheerleading for a long time now, let’s just say Crystal and Carol opened the door for me.” You admit. “And even if I had loved cheerleading, I still would have left, because they’re not nice to you. I don’t like what they say about you. I’ll kill my cheerleader pseudo-career if it means being next to you. And also, it’s only high school, I can always do another activity. It’s not a big deal.”

“I just don’t want you to change because of me.” Robin whispers and you force her to look at you.

“Believe me, if I’ve been changing since we’re together, it only means something good. Since we met, you help me accept myself. I want to stop trying to be somebody I’m not. I want to be the real me. And it’s thanks to you if I have the courage to do it now.”

“I still have the feeling I’m ruining your life.” She affirms and you shrug.

“I wouldn’t mind if you ruin my life, if it means having you in my life. I mean it, Robin. I’m glad to have you by my side, so stop thinking you did something wrong, because it’s not true.”

Robin takes you in her arms, not knowing what else to do. You hug her more while stroking her back.

“Thank you for defending me, by the way.” She murmurs in your ear.

“No need to thank me, I wouldn’t let them call you names ! Was that what was bothering you ?” You ask her, breaking the embrace and Robin looks at you, surprised. “I saw the look on your face when I joined you after the game.”

“Let’s just say I’ve been having some fears for a few weeks now and hearing your conversation didn’t help me. I started being afraid. I told myself if I was really destroying your life without realising it, it was only a matter of time before you’d leave me.”

“Never gonna happen.” You affirm. “I’m with you and I don’t intend on leaving. I want to stay with you all my life, if you’d let me.”

“That's all I want.”

You press your lips on Robin’s while you put your hands on her hair. Her hands make their way to your hips, bringing you closer. You kiss for a few seconds before breaking it. You smile at her while Robin turns off the light. You peacefully fall asleep, knowing you’ll stay together all your life.

Stranger Things Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[baddygab-bi]

I lied, one last episode thought.

I love the writing of the episode, I may or may not have an actual script from the show that this writer has written. I love her style. No you will never see it, it’s mine.

But…

There were a lot of things in the coma dream that went unresolved, that as a writer… irk me.

Buck mentions getting Maddie from Doug, get her safe, see her with Chim. None of that happens. There’s a brief line from Chim at the end.

Buck being a teacher and having kids. Nothing happens there.

Buck finding out about Eddie. Nothing happens there. He briefly sees Chris later, but it changes nothing.

He didn’t fix anything, which I know you could be saying “But Gabbi that’s the point! He’s a fixer and he couldn’t fix anything in that world!”

And I say, “Yeah! That’s so true! Could be so deep and meaningful!”

Except… he didn’t try.

He had a conversation with Maddie, that’s about it. The rest of the episode was about Buck realizing he made impacts on Bobby and being proud that he’s Buck, dealing with being called spare parts, and then saying he’s a firefighter. Which is amazing and would’ve been a great episode, except those things lasted less than 5 minutes.

This is what would’ve made more narrative sense and would’ve worked with the (about) 45 minutes they get of air time:

Cut the stuff about Chimney and his dad/step-mom. Not relevant to this episode.

Cut Albert and Chim talking about Chim being a dad. Not relevant to the episode.

Cut Buckley parent stuff. (I’m going with pre-6b Buckleys and how they used to be, along with pre-6x10 Buck baby donor thoughts)

Now, have everything go as it was up through Buck finding out about Eddie. Except Cap isn’t dead, he’s just struggling as bad as he was when Buck first joined the station. Worse maybe. Quiet, stoic, drinking on the DL.

From there, what the episode should’ve been (and following the progression of past seasons and 6a), was for Buck to get his 118 family back together again.

He gets Maddie away from Doug, she meets Chim— you see the connection in their eyes.

He sees his life as a teacher, sees the cards, sees drawings, sees a class portrait, he realizes that he has these kids, but they aren’t his. He loves them, but *wipes his tear* he has a real kid to get back to. (Intercut this part with Chris in the hospital room) He knows he has to get Eddie and Chris back together so—

He gets Carla. He introduces Carla to Eddie and Chris is magically back (it’s a dream world).

His parents can still be loving, but Buck’s focus isn’t on them, it’s on his fire family because he realizes that they are the people who love him no matter what.

He puts the pieces back together, because he’s Buck. He is more than spare parts. He’s a firefighter. He’s his own person. He has a family. He’s happy.

He wakes up surrounded by the people who love him, and he goes home with Bobby, “let’s go home, son.”

Instead we had an episode where everything was touched on, nothing was fixed— but with no resolve of why, nothing answered for Buck in regards to his happiness, and it all stuck with a weird “I love my family” idea… but it was the wrong family?? It was an episode where the people who he struggled to leave in the coma dream were his parents who had been awful to him, and then irl were being nice. So it wasn’t like he was missing anything by staying. If his parents were still how they were seasons ago (“love me anyway”) then, yeah, leaving them would’ve been hard. That would’ve made more sense. But instead he went from picking them up from the airport, having family dinners, feeling happy with them, to the coma dream where when he woke up afterwards his parents were still nice. It lacked the tension that would’ve existed if there was a difference between irl parents and coma parents, but it was too subtle.

What should’ve made it hard to leave is that the 118 he got back together was going to miss him so much, that he was a part of them, that he felt like he was home already but he knew he wasn’t. The whole thing with him running out of time would’ve still been in the episode. So he had to leave his fake family to get back to his real one.

I think that’s what’s driving me nuts. The potential for this episode was amazing. Everything was aligned for it to be amazing. And it was incredible! Just… lacking.

The only way to fix what happened is if the Buckley parents turn out to still be evil later this season, and are only being nice because they need something, this would set Buck off… except that there’s no time to resolve that and we’d need another coma where he can realize things.

[woodchoc-magnum]

9-1-1 4x04 Reaction

Spoilers under the cut

Buddie for comfort:

Saving the parents for last because jesus fucking christ that’s a rant, and also, I’m functioning on very little sleep so this may be completely disjointed and rambly:

I am in love with Buck and Eddie trying to solve the crime together and I wish they would re-film that scene without face masks

Because they so would be into true crime, like Eddie pretends to be cool but he’s a secret nerd, and he loves to nerd out with Buck, so it makes total sense that they watch crime documentaries together like COME ON

I’m incorporating this into a fic somehow

May Grant the 911 operator 🔥🔥🔥

Gratuitous shirtlessness in the form of Albert and Chimney, thank you very much 911

Albert fucking RUNNING AWAY FROM CHIMNEY 10/10 comedy

And then Chimney RUNNING AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE TEAM 10/10 comedy as well

Albert throwing a whole wheel of brie into the oven? Like just throwing it in there? Literally just throwing it in there

I don’t know why they added that in but I’m not mad at it

Chimney making friends with the mad bomber after the preview was like “IS CHIMNEY GONNA DIE????” no he’s gonna make a new friend and then brain him with an oxygen tank duh

Well, I guess it’s about that time to talk about the worst parents in the show, so here we go:

Some of this is gonna be speculation because obviously we don’t know how this all played out, but we can make some guesses. My theory is that Daniel the dead brother died... perhaps saving Buck when he was only very little, hence Buck not remembering it, and his parents... asking Maddie not to tell him?

What even the FUCK though

Why would you ask your NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO LIE TO HER LITTLE BROTHER ABOUT THEIR OTHER BROTHER WHO DIED

And how the hell do you cover something like that up? Did they simply move away from friends and family so no one would ever talk about it? Did they box up all the pictures and memories and everything and just... fucking... MOVE ON? Or not move on, because they have obviously never forgiven Buck for whatever the hell happened.

Okay, this is my speculation:

The parents are somehow responsible - for example, an accidental drowning (I don’t think this is what happened, this is just an example). So hypothetically, they’re at the beach, and Buck is a toddler, and the parents aren’t paying attention and he wanders into the sea and gets swept out; Daniel comes to his rescue and dies in the act of saving him (this thing happens in Australia all the time, hence why I’m using it as an example - swim between the flags, gang!).

So then you have the parents who are ultimately responsible for not paying attention, you have the unavoidable tragedy of one of the children dying, and the way they coped with this terrible tragedy was to place the blame on Buck (even though it wasn’t his fault, at all) and pretend that Daniel had simply never existed.

This means that Buck spends his life living in the shadow of the older brother who was glorified, who died saving him, and Buck has no idea why he can never please his parents and why they don’t love him. This is why they’re checked out as parents, because one of their kids died, and instead of seeking therapy, they decided to live a lie and blame their son for something he had no fucking control over.

So setting all that aside, let’s talk about these two absolute fucking pieces of shit.

They’ve alienated their children so much that both of them are absolutely terrified when they turn up. Buck is petrified. He’s spent his whole life never living up to their expectations, never feeling good enough, or worthy enough, constantly being put down - no wonder he ran away to California to put some distance between them. And he’s finally in a good place, going through therapy, dealing with his issues, and now bam - his parents are back in town to screw up all of his hard work.

And Maddie’s just as freaked out, because she’s trying to protect Buck from them. I feel like she has good intentions but her mistake is wanting Buck to have a relationship with people who don’t necessarily want to have a relationship with him, and for telling them about him being in therapy (which I still don’t understand, but I guess maybe the next episode will reveal the answer). To be clear, I don’t think Maddie is wrong for having kept this secret. She was manipulated into it by her parents when she was only a child, and that is not her fault, at all. She’s been told she’s doing the right thing and she hasn’t questioned it, but now, she is.

And, importantly - if her parents were checked out mentally and emotionally, she had to do a lot of the heavy-lifting and parenting when it came to Buck, when she was just a little girl herself. Maddie is the reason Buck is as wonderful as he is - she raised him.

Now, back to the pieces of shit:

They didn’t like Doug, so they washed their hands of Maddie, even though they lived in the same fucking town. So she was getting beaten up by her absolute monster of a husband, and ending up in hospital, and they were doing fucking nothing to intervene or help her.

THEY DIDN’T EVEN GO TO HER WEDDING. THEY SHOWED HER NO SUPPORT AT ALL. LIKE I CANNOT. All because they DISAGREED? SHE’S STILL YOUR DAUGHTER, like oh my god, I can’t even.

She had to flee across the country to Buck in California to finally escape him, because their parents didn’t care enough to help. Motherfuckers.

And then the whole “we don’t do hospitals” - bitch, they are your fucking CHILDREN. If your CHILDREN are in hospital, you are supposed to CARE. Buck got crushed by a ladder truck, he had an embolism and nearly died, he went through a tsunami and NOTHING? Nada? Maddie had to kill her husband after he nearly killed her, and NOTHING? Buck had to call to tell them what had happened!

And then to start crying and asking "I don’t know what you expected us to do?” - like, bitch, FUCKING ANYTHING?

I mean

I cannot with these people

What kind of white WASP-y nonsense is this

Let me tell the story of when I had appendicitis - I was taken to the hospital by my friend at night, my mum lives two hours away - when she found out that it was appendicitis and I’d be going in for surgery, she jumped in the car in the middle of the night and drove two hours to be with me, and I was a grown-ass woman at the time. It is not normal for parents not to care when their children are sick/injured/being beaten almost to death by their abusive husbands/getting crushed by a ladder truck. You mean to tell me that the footage of the crowd lifting the truck off their son didn’t go viral? That they didn’t see that?

Fuckers.

You don’t like something so you just bury your head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist? Your kids aren’t perfect so you just wash your hands of them? Their problems don’t matter, not when it’s all about you?

Narcissists.

Blaming the kids for everything, manipulating Maddie into doing their bidding - and still manipulating her as an adult, by bringing her gifts and driving across the country and being all, “we want to be grandparents!” after everything? After letting her husband nearly kill her and blaming her for having bad taste in men? FUCKKKKKK

And the fucking BABY BOX. Do not even get me started on how ANGRY I WAS.

Like, I have friends with kids (I have cats, personally) so I know that they’re busy, but to not have anything, as if he’s just not worth it.

Like I can’t

It breaks my heart to think about his face, and the realisation setting in... to know that your parents don’t love you? To have lived with that your whole life? It’s so fucking gutting.

Like, obviously I am extra emotional because I’m running on empty today, but god damn this episode just came along and punched me right in the face.

Also, I’m making a BIG CALL, they’re going to use the song ‘Daniel’ by Elton John in the next episode:

Daniel my brother you are older than me Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal? Your eyes have died, but you see more than I Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

100% they’re using that song, I’m calling it now, and if they don’t, it is a wasted opportunity.

Okay, let’s end on a good note, because this has been a rant:

Eddie’s open concern for Buck; the fact that Buck tells Eddie about his therapy, that he feels comfortable opening up to him - that Eddie was there, watching Buck beat the shit out of the boxing bag and listening to him, and taking his side and reassuring him... that is next level shit and I am here for it.

I am not here for the return of Ana in the next few episodes but that’s a future rant

Hopes for Buck Begins:

That the firefam - his real family - will rally around him, and that Buck and Maddie will take a united stand against their parents and tell them to get the fuck out of their lives.

Also I kinda want Bobby to meet the Buckley’s? Just... for him to be horrified, I guess? I don’t know, but I want Bobby to meet them and understand how awful they are and offer Buck some comfort as his surrogate father.

I would like Buck to be hugged by someone who loves him, please, because he needs it.

And selfishly, I want some kind of Buck, Eddie and Christopher scene, because they are also his family. Everyone in this show has their little family unit, and Eddie and Christopher are Buck’s.

Ana be damned

[charming-charlie]

The Compliment Game

Title // The Compliment Game

Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings // Light amount of cussing. Some cute fluff and a bit of spice at the end.

Summary // Buck poses as your fake boyfriend at a friend’s birthday party.

Word Count // 3k

You stared at the invitation before you, trying to hold back a laugh. Having just got the mail, you found a pink envelope mixed in with your bills. The envelope had elegant script and for a moment, you thought you were invited to a wedding. Upon opening the envelope and pulling out the card, your suspicions still stood in place. Glitter fell to the floor and the invitation was written in such a beautiful script, except it was not for a wedding at all. It was for a birthday party. Your childhood friend Viola’s birthday party.

The invitation included a dress code, which basically stated prom attire. Yeah, fat chance of that happening. There was also a list on the back of the invitation with appropriate albeit expensive gifts to buy for the birthday girl. Cool, so money it is!

The invite was definitely in line with Viola’s personality. The two of you were supposedly childhood best friends, and as you grew up, you realized that Viola was a bit of an embellisher. She told the most insane stories, some you knew to be completely fake since you were there when certain events happened. It was like she always had this need to one up everyone she met.

The two of you barely talk now since you distanced yourself from her, but honestly, she was still your friend. However, since Viola liked to embellish, who says you couldn’t either? Why not one up the birthday girl at her own birthday? Maybe she needed a healthy dose of her own medicine.

The wheels were turning as you grabbed your phone and scrolled through your contacts before landing on Evan Buckley’s name. He was, in all honestly, the hottest man you knew. While he was only a recent friend, he was the best option for what you had in mind.

You called him, hearing the phone ring a few times.

“What a coincidence,” Buck said when he answered the phone, “I was just talking about you.”

You were surprised that you were on his mind, especially in the middle of the day. You were sure he was at work too, which only seemed to excite the butterflies in your stomach.

“Hey,” you said, unable to hide your growing smile, “I got an invite to a birthday party. Want to go with me as my fake boyfriend?”

“Whoa,” you heard Buck say on the other line and you could just sense the confused expression he had on his face, “wait, what?”

You stared at the invitation, knowing full well that this would be the perfect event to have a little fun and maybe put Viola in her place. However, you took what few precious minutes you had on the phone with Buck to explain everything. You talked about your friendship with your friend, and how she just continued to make up her entire life story in order to appear interesting. It was either that or for attention, you weren’t sure which one.

“Basically, I just want to show off the hottest guy I know, so are you in or what?” you finished. You were out of breath from rambling quickly to share your story. You never knew when the alarm bell was going to go off because of a fire or something.

“And you thought of me? I’m touched. Sure, I’ll do it. But you owe me a beer,” Buck said. You could practically hear him grinning on the other side of the phone. “I’ll pick you up after my shift. Say, eight?”

You agreed and the two of you hung up.

This was perfect. Now the party would be very interesting. Who knew what was going to happen?

The hours ticked by and you were dressed. You texted Buck your address and waited for him to show up. He knocked on the door and you truly felt giddy and nearly pranced to the door in excitement. You weren’t looking forward to the party at first, but spending time with Buck? That was clearly a game changer.

Having relayed the dress code to the firefighter beforehand, you were in awe of his outfit choice. Buck was sporting a casual black suit. It wasn’t the fanciest of outfits but that didn’t matter. He looked like a stunner. It was nice seeing him out of his usual fire uniform or regular t-shirts. You could tell he put effort into his appearance for the night.

You, on the other hand, took a page right out of Princess Diana’s playbook. You wore a black dress, your favorite LBD, with some strappy heels. It was your own revenge dress, and you knew it wouldn’t exactly fit in line with the dress code of the night, but did you really care?

You were only going to support your childhood friend and nothing else. You had a card for her with some cash and that was it. You were going to make nice and leave when the cake was cut. That was called being a good friend, you at least showed up to the events you were invited to.

Viola’s parents owned a ranch and she lived in a house on her parent’s property. The drive was smooth, with you and Buck jamming to 80’s tunes and timing the red lights. He was such a charmer, just like he was the day you met him.

There were a few cars when you arrived, and Buck easily parked along the rocky path. Both of you got out and made your way to the front door. Being polite, you knocked.

The door opened instantly, almost like someone was literally waiting on the other side.

Viola appeared and your eyes almost popped out of your head. Apparently the “elegant prom” theme was still ongoing, since she wore a floor-length white gown. It looked like a cross between a prom dress and a wedding dress. Your eyes caught Buck’s, who was standing next to you. He looked horrified. Perhaps he was just now realizing your over exaggerations were not over exaggerations.

His mouth fell to the floor, not from awe, but from shock. The birthday girl cascaded along the floor. Her hair was done up in an elaborate bun and she wore a crown. Not a cute little tiara, but a full blown one thousand gems kind of crown. The kind of crown that was obviously from a costume store, since you knew Viola wasn’t fabulously wealthy like she pretended to be and there was no way she would be able to afford the same jewels as Queen Elizabeth.

“Oh, who is this?” Viola asked you when she saw Buck. No hello. No how are you. She just immediately noticed the eye candy on your arm with absolutely no regard for you, her supposed best friend.

You had to give the firefighter some credit. He cleaned up very well. He sported a business casual suit, not at all falling in line with whatever prom theme that was happening. Then again, you did not either with your little black dress.

“This is Evan Buckley,” you said, trying to put on the best sincere smile that you could muster, “my boyfriend. Happy birthday, Viola.”

Your best friend (although, let us be honest, that is a bit of a stretch at this point), did not seem convinced nor did she thank you for the nice birthday message. Instead, she turned her sights onto the man next to you, and you felt a small hole in your heart forming. If Viola went after Buck… it would not be pretty.

“Boyfriend, huh? What do you do?” Viola asked as she extended out a hand, and you cringed when you saw the white corsage that sat on her wrist.

Buck, being as polite as ever, shook her hand and kept his smile. “I’m a firefighter with the LAFD.”

“What a coincidence!” Viola said with a smile, “My boyfriend works for the LAPD. Maybe you know each other.”

Buck was catching on and there was a sort of twinkle in his eyes as he looked at the birthday girl. “I have friends in the LAPD. What’s his name? Maybe I know him.”

The fact that Buck was pressing for more information caught Viola off guard. She acted busy, acted like someone was calling her name, but you didn’t hear anyone. “Oh, that’s for me. I’ll talk to you guys later, yeah?” she sauntered off quickly, almost like she was rushing away as fast as she could so that you didn’t have a chance to call her back.

Buck turned to look at you with a quizzical expression as if to say, what the hell was that? You only shrugged your shoulders and whispered that Viola doesn’t have a boyfriend, ending the statement with a blatantly obvious eye roll.

The two of you made your way into the house where the party was in swing. No one else looked like Viola, no one else sported fancy gowns or black tie suits. In fact, a few of the party guests were wearing jeans. That must’ve been a highlight in the tea drinking gossip Viola was probably spewing in the corner with some other friends. Is it time to leave yet?

You led Buck outside to the fenced in backyard. There were a few guests here and there, but it wasn’t a massive turnout. Both of you sat on a wrought iron garden bench, away from most of the crowd. It was kind of nice to be there at the party but not really participating or engaging in small talk with the other guests.

“You know,” Buck broke the silence with a smile, “being your fake boyfriend is a lot of work.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to look at him, returning the smile. “You only agreed once I said you were the hottest person I know.”

“Listen, that’s a compliment I don’t hear often,” Buck sat back along the bench, keeping his eyes on you.

“Should I keep them coming?” you asked, and it surprised you that there was a little bit of a tease to your voice. You never noticed that before.

“How about this? You compliment me, I compliment you. I feel that is only fair,” Buck responded.

It took a moment for you to forget that you were actually at a birthday party for someone else. In this moment, on this bench, everything around you seemed to fade into the background.

“I like your suit.”

“I like your dress.”

Okay, starting out kind of simple here but it did make you smile. You thought you wore the dress to impress Viola. Maybe you wore the dress to impress him? Did your subconscious plan that?

“You are very good at your job,” you responded.

His eyes were alight and there was that twinkle again. You could stare into his eyes forever, they were stunning, just like everything else about him.

“Not exactly a compliment, you haven’t seen what I can do,” Buck said with a smirk. That was when he pulled the move. The fake-stretch put-an-arm-around-you move. What in the fresh hell was that? Because, and this is what shocked you the most, it actually worked on you.

“You’re beautiful,” Buck said.

Fuck, he won the compliment game. Your face flushed, fast and hard, creeping down to your neck and down your spine. You had to look away from him, and you heard him laugh when you did.

You didn’t get to enjoy the moment for long because you heard Viola approaching the two of you, with some minions behind her. You looked at her. Her white dress was absolutely blinding in the fading sunlight and you squinted just to see straight.

Buck stood up to greet her and you did the same, smiling politely at her.

“Sorry about that. Being the birthday girl means never ending attention. Anyway, Y/N didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend. How did you two meet?” Viola said. There was a sudden look in her eyes, and you knew. You knew she was catching on, pulling on loose threads to see what would unravel.

You felt Buck slip his hand in your own and he didn’t miss a beat. “Y/N locked her keys in her car. I just happened to be driving by.”

That was the truth. That was literally how the two of you met. If fate were a thing, you would swear that was how you guys met, through some act of divine fate. But you remained quiet.

“Forgive me, but I’m having a hard time believing this. If you are really Y/N’s boyfriend, then kiss her,” Viola said. She seemed to be smirking, like she trapped you and Buck in a corner, like it was a big reveal that your relationship with Buck was fake.

Buck inhaled deeply, like he needed to calm down a bit. His hand gripped yours tightly, but you could feel that it was tensing up. Thank god for that, because you didn’t know how he would react if you didn’t keep him grounded and firmly planted next to you.

“Y/N,” Buck said, and your head snapped to his attention. He was looking at you. Once your eyes fell into his line of sight, he swooped in. His free hand went to the side of your face, caressing the soft skin of your cheek. His lips landed on yours, moving delicately, gently. You were not in control of your body as you felt yourself pushing into Buck’s muscular physique. When he pulled away, your lips quite literally pulled down into a frown. You didn’t want the kiss to end, and it showed.

Once the environment came back into view and you were aware of your surroundings, you quickly fixed your expression and turned to look at Viola, who looked slumped and defeated in her white gown. Perhaps she truly felt she was going to win the game you and Buck were playing, and she wasn’t prepared for the outcome.

“Is that enough proof or do you need more?” Buck quickly looked at Viola, and he didn’t look very happy. Viola got the hint. She disappeared as fast as she arrived, with her entourage scattering in different directions. Once she and her friends were gone, Buck turned to you and said, “I don’t like that girl.”

You were still in a bit of a fog from the kiss, and you could feel your lips tingling for more. The sensation would not go away.

Eventually, much to your chagrin, it hit you. The moment was over, you proved your point. No need in keeping things going. You did your job, made your appearance with a devilishly delicious man on your arm, and now you can go home and leave Buck alone. He probably was not thrilled with the outcome of events, given the look on his face.

“I think it’s time to put an end to the fake boyfriend thing,” you said with a frown as you looked at him.

There was something new to his expression, an unconvinced look as he shook his head. “Maybe I want to be the real thing someday.”

Was this playful banter or was he serious?

“That would require going on a real date,” you said. You grabbed him by the arm, keeping up with appearances as the two of you walked to the gate in the fence. You unlatched the opening and watched the gate swing open.

“So ask me.”

You stared at him in confusion as the two of you slowly walked toward the car. It was starting to get interesting again.

“Ask you what?” you replied.

“Ask me out,” he said suddenly, not missing a moment.

Your heart was erratic at this point, and you let go of his arm now that the two of you were away from the party.

“Dearest Evan Buckley, would you do me the absolute pleasure of going on a date with me?” you said sarcastically.

He wasn’t playing games anymore. Without a warning, he had you pinned against the car, leaving very little wiggle room. Your body pressed along the passenger side door, and you felt his hands rub against your waist. You were facing him, and you wished you weren’t. Looking at that incredibly handsome face was becoming a weakness. Your knees shook as you tried to steady yourself.

He leaned in and whispered in a soft voice. “Try again.”

You felt his hot breath against your ear as he kissed the sensitive spot under your earlobe. An explosion of tingles erupted throughout your body as his lips brushed against your weak spot.

“What are you doing?” you asked quietly. Any louder and you were afraid how shaky and trembling your voice would sound. First, he won the compliment game, now he was winning whatever this was.

“Ask again,” Buck whispered in your ear.

One of your arms ran up his, and fuck, that was a mistake. The bulging muscles were almost too much for you to bare.

“Will you go out with me?” you whispered.

You felt his lips leave a trail from your neck, across your jawline, ending with a sweet peck against your lips as he smiled.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he said as he opened the car door behind you, “Let’s go get that beer.”

It was easy to slide into the car since you were already a puddle of goo. Your whole body was on fire just from his touch. Buck walked around the car and entered the driver’s side. He turned the key in the ignition and the car roared to life. His hand reached for yours and you accepted it instantly.

How in the world did the evening turn out like this? And where in the world was it going to go? You could only wonder as Buck began driving. Inviting him to a party as your fake boyfriend was the best decision you ever made, and you couldn’t wait to see what else was in store tonight.

[carocane]

A Few Wise Words

Evan Buckley Week Day 5 - “I don’t think that’s exactly what I said.”

Sunday Morning Buckley Siblings Brunch is officially back on, now that Maddie has returned to California. Buck’s loft plays host, as it most often does. Maddie’s new place feels temporary and still unlived in.

They catch each other up on workplace gossip, since they know basically all the same people and avoid any and all discussion of their parents. It’s nice.

Eddie and Christopher are at the center of Buck’s stories and Maddie gets a calculating look in her eyes that Buck doesn’t like. This cannot lead anywhere good. 

“So, you’re not dating anyone? Just spending a lot of time with Eddie and Christopher?” she asks in faux innocence.

“No, not dating anyone. Why-why do you ask like that?”

“Just wondering,” she shrugs like it’s not a big deal. “Speaking of dating, Chimney and I are back together. We realized we spent all our time together and the sparks were still there, so we made it official. Re-official, I guess.”

“That’s great, Maddie. But I kind of already figured. Chimney was way too happy yesterday. But I’m happy for you two.”

“Thanks. I just thought that when I date someone, I should actually date them. In fact, I remember someone telling me that once,” Maddie says and Buck takes a moment before he remembers he had said the same to her when she and Chimney were still dancing around each other and not acknowledging they were in a relationship. 

“I don’t think that’s exactly what I said,” Buck counters. 

“Close enough. We were acting like a couple so we decided to just be a couple. Maybe you and Eddie should do the same.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Maddie. Eddie and I are just friends.” Buck refutes. 

“Ok, if you say so. You just talk about him and spend an awful lot of time with him for ‘just friends’.” Maddie still looks skeptical but Buck thinks her and Chim getting back together is clouding her brain.

Maddie finally lets it go and the conversation turns to other topics. They finish their brunch, Maddie leaving for a short shift at the call center before going home to her family.

Buck wanders the empty loft for a while, putting something on the TV just to have some noise in the space but he doesn’t really watch whatever's on. He feels restless for a reason he can’t name. He possibly doesn’t want to examine it too closely. He’s also trying not to think too hard about what Maddie said earlier. 

He and Eddie aren’t dating, unknowingly or otherwise. He might have thought about what it would be like once or twice and honestly he pictured it as pretty similar to how they are now. He would just get to go home to a warm inviting house rather than his empty loft. He’d get to share his bed and his life with an incredible man. He suspects Eddie is a secret cuddler. The romance and sex are really the only things missing from their relationship and Buck has wondered if and how that would change them if they went there. 

But they’re not dating and it doesn’t do any good to imagine otherwise. 

He’s due at Eddie’s house for dinner in a few hours. He’s tempted to just go now but doesn’t want to overstay his welcome. The thoughts and fantasies he’s found himself in for the last few hours aren’t real. He’ll take what he can get and not try to steal more from Eddie. 

Buck tries to shake himself out of the mood he’s fallen into since Maddie left. Meddling sisters are the worst, even if he does love her and is happy for her.

Buck shows up at the Diaz house for Sunday dinner determined to focus on how good of a friend Eddie is and put all other thoughts aside. 

“Buck, you have to help me with my project for tomorrow” is Christopher’s greeting as soon as he walks in the door. “It’s almost finished but I need you to make sure it’s right.”

“Of course, buddy. We’ll take a look at it after dinner, ok?” Helping Christopher is a no brainer. The kid is smart and Buck loves spending time with him. 

“Let Buck get in the door before you volunteer him for things, kid,” Eddie says as he comes in from the kitchen. He’s clearly been hard at work on dinner and makes a very appealing picture to Buck. Buck pushes that thought away before it can take hold.

“It’s cool, Eddie. You know I like helping Christopher out.”

“I know, I just don’t want him to take advantage.”

“I’m not taking advantage, Dad. Buck likes helping, he just said so.” Christopher points out reasonably. Point to the kid.

Eddie gives Christopher one last look before turning back to Buck. “Dinner’s almost ready. Did you want a beer or water?”

It’s all so damn domestic Buck needs a second to clear his head before answering. “Water’s fine for now. Do you need any help? I know you’re a five star chef now but I can still lend a hand in the kitchen.”

Eddie laughs and Buck wants to live inside that sound. “No, I’ve got it. Hang out with Christopher while I finish up.”

So that’s what Buck does. He and Christopher hang out in the living room until dinner is nearly ready, then they set the table. 

Eddie comes in with dinner and it smells heavenly. They talk about work and school and all the things families talk about at the dinner table. Buck tries to ignore the ache in his chest at the thought that he has to go home at the end of the night. This isn’t his house or his family, no matter how much he wishes it was. 

Buck offers to clean up after but Eddie shoos him and Christopher off to work on Christopher’s project. It doesn’t take them long to finish it and settle in for a movie before Christopher has to go to bed. 

Eddie and Christopher run through their school night routine, making sure bags are packed, clothes are picked out and all homework is done. Buck watches from his place on the couch, aware that he is on the outside looking in. He wants to be the one to check Chrisopher’s backpack for any notes from the teacher or stray food left in over the weekend. But those are not his jobs. He’s not really a part of this family. He and Eddie aren’t dating.

Christopher is too old now to be tucked in and read a story, so Buck and Eddie call out good night as he makes his way down the hall to bed. He’ll read to himself for a bit before going to sleep but they leave him to it. Eddie will go check on him in an hour or so, just to make sure he’s not still up. 

For now, they settle on the couch with a beer. Buck might not have wanted one earlier but he definitely does now. 

He’s trying not to dwell on what Maddie said earlier. This is not dating. This is distinctly not dating. There is a very respectable gap between them and a pre-teen just down the hall. This is just beers with his buddy. Nothing more. 

It hits him out of nowhere that he wants more. He’s in love with Eddie. He wants a home and a family with him. 

Buck is trying his hardest not to let any of these thoughts show but of course Eddie picks up that something is going on in his head. Eddie knows him better than anyone, it’s no wonder he notices. 

“So, what’s up? You’ve been unusually quiet since around the time Chris went to bed,” Eddie says as he eyes Buck curiously. 

Buck spends a few too many seconds contemplating how to tell Eddie about what his sister said at brunch and how it’s stuck in his head. He decides to ease into it, blurting out that Maddie thinks he and Eddie should be dating is a bad idea. “Maddie and Chimney are back together. She told me today.”

“Are you not ok with that? You seem less than thrilled there,” Eddie notes. 

“No, no, it’s great. I’m really happy for them,” Buck reassures him. “Just thinking about something else she said.” 

“Care to share with the rest of us here?” Eddie asks with that quirk of his eyebrow. That might be one of Buck’s favorite Eddie expressions. He really is helpless to that face. 

“It’s nothing. She was talking about how they were pretty much dating even when they weren’t dating and compared them to us. I never really thought about it but being here tonight, I couldn’t help it.” 

Eddie doesn’t look as surprised as Buck thought he would. “I can see it. We do spend a lot of time together.”

“Should I not be here so often?” Buck doesn’t want to interfere or take up too much of their lives. He just really likes being here. 

“You’d be here more often if Christopher and I had our way. We love you. We want you here,” Eddie says like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like it doesn’t throw Buck completely off his axis. 

“I love you guys too,” Buck says as he turns to look at Eddie. He finds his favorite face much closer to his than he anticipated. His thoughts churn trying to figure out if this is really happening. Eddie loves him and wants him around. He must just mean platonically. Buck would be happy to settle for that, if that’s all he gets. 

That is not all he gets.

Their eyes have been locked this whole time, their faces getting closer and closer. This is for real. Eddie must see his feelings written all over him.

“I love you, Buck,” Eddie murmurs before he presses his lips to Bucks in the sweetest kiss he’s ever known. 

“I love you too. I just figured it out today. I was freaking out a little for most of it,” Buck confesses before coming in for another kiss.

“I know, I could tell you were stuck in your head about something. Not sure if I freaked you out more or less just now,” Eddie says with a grin.

“Less, I think,” Buck decides after a moment.

“Good. I think Maddie was right. We’ve been pretty much dating for a while now, just without the fun stuff. I want the fun stuff.”

“I think we have plenty of fun, but I’m always on board for more,” Buck replies. “So, we’re dating now? Officially?”

“I’m in if you are,” Eddie confirmed. 

Buck is definitely in. 

Maddie is never gonna let them hear the end of this. Buck thinks they’re both ok with that.

[datleggy]

Let’s take “birth day” literally and have pregnant Buck go into labor someplace really dumb and/or inconvenient.

It's the hormones, Buck would like to say in his defense, but honestly, the omega would have done it even if he weren't nearly nine months pregnant....

The doctor's told him some light exercise will help, even with his due date being so close now, and so after picking Christopher up from school they'd decided to take a nice stroll in the park.

And it would have been nice if some asshole hadn't put his hands on his kid on the goddamn playground of all places! One minute Buck had been struggling to get up off the bench to see why it looked as though Christopher was in a seemingly heated argument over something or the other, with another little boy around his age, and the next said boy's mother was shoving Christopher away with a sharply pointed nail, poking at his shoulder and shouting obscenities.

And Buck was there in a flash, putting himself between Christopher and the woman and telling her to back off. "You don't touch someone else's kid like that, lady. If you have a problem, you come find me."

The woman looks flustered for a moment before raising her voice again, yelling about how she had barely even touched the eight year old, and about how maybe he shouldn't bring his son around other kids if he couldn't learn to play nice. "If you taught that boy some manners we wouldn't even be here right now!"

Buck knows he should have let it go, knows they were causing a huge and unnecessary scene, and this? This next part he totally blames on the hormones. "If your parents had taught you some manners and common sense we wouldn't be here right now!"

And that had only served to escalate the situation to the point where police had actually been called and arrived on the scene--and apparently the woman had been very convincing when she'd burst into tears and told the cops that Buck had threatened her with violence.

Which is how Buck ends up in a jailcell on a sunny Friday afternoon, waiting for Eddie to come and bail him out and worrying frantically about Christopher, who last he saw, as they'd cuffed him and put him into the back of their vehicle, was currently in the custody of a child services worker.

Buck puts his head in his hands and groans, beyond stressed. Not only is this humiliating as all hell, but his alpha is probably going to kill him for letting this shit happen. He should have ignored the woman and walked away with Christopher in tow. Instead, he'd made it worse and gotten arrested for an assault he hadn't even committed. "Jesus Christ."

"Buckley? Evan Buckley?" An officer calls out; he's older, maybe mid fifties, with a faint Southern drawl.

Buck raises his head. He'd only called Eddie fifteen minutes ago, was he really here that quickly? "Uh, yeah, that's me." he says.

"You're free to go; luckily a bunch of witnesses came forward with the same story--you weren't the aggressor here, son. Now c'mon, your kid's waiting for you right outside."

"Oh thank God." he breaths out, immeasurably relieved. But when he attempts to stand up Buck lets out a hiss and doubles over, face contorting in pain.

The officers eyes go wide and he rushes to open the cell, which is nearly empty, thankfully, except for Buck and a slumbering man in the corner, arrested that morning for public intoxication. "Whoa, whoa," the man's eyes go even wider, if possible, when he realizes what's happening. "Shoot, I think your water just broke, young man."

Buck shakes his head, even though the proof is on the bench and soaking his jeans through and through. He whines as the contraction continues, huffing and puffing. "H-hospital. Please." He pleads.

There is no way he's having this baby while still technically in custody at a police station. Hell, they're in a jailcell, for shit's sake. He'd rather give birth like a total cliché and in the back of a yellow taxi!

"I'm gonna have 'em call you an ambulance, but let's get you outta here first." the officer tries to help Buck stand but another contraction hits, this one harder and more agonizing than the last and Buck cries out, his knees buckling under him.

The officer manages to hold him aloft just long enough to reposition him on the floor as Buck pants and tries not to lose it. The contractions are way too close...

The officer radios his men and calls for help. "Need help in the holding cell on floor 2B, we've got a custodial here who's gone into labor. Urgent request for help in holding cell 2B."

Buck can't help but let out a sob--it's even worse than he'd imagined--he's going to end up giving birth inside a jailcell five feet away from some guy who smells like tequila and regret. Alone.

"What the hell is going on in--Buck?!"

Buck sniffles as he turns his head towards the door, where Athena is standing, mouth agape at the chaotic scene before her. "Athena!" he cries, reaching out for her, needy as can be and not giving a damn.

Athena doesn't waste any time, dropping to her knees beside him, letting him rest his head on her lap. She sooths back his curly locks, now sweaty, and look at the officer, asking sharply, "What happened?"

"He was being released when he went into labor--must be from the stress of the situation. Tried to get him up, but that baby's comin' and soon." he informs her, grimacing when Buck whines in pain as another contraction follows his statement, as if to prove the mans words true.

"Eddie," Buck clenches his teeth, tries to stifle another groans. "Need Eddie."

"He's right outside," Athena tells him, reassuringly. She nods at the officer. "Reyes, get me Eddie Diaz, he's a medic and he should be waiting down on the first floor for us. Hurry!"

***************

Eddie's at the grocery store picking stuff up for dinner tonight when he gets the unexpected call. He almost doesn't answer it, when he sees it's from an unfamiliar number, thinking it's spam, but something nags at him to take the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey..."

It's Buck. And he sounds upset.

"Buck? What's going on? Everything alright? Who's phone are you using?"

He can hear Buck gulp from the other end of the line. "I've been arrested. I need you to come bail me out and get Christopher out of police custody." he says, all in one rushed statement, like he'd ripping off a band aid.

"Wha--I'm sorry, what? Did you say you're in jail? And Christopher's with the police? What the hell is going on?" Eddie's not proud of the way he raises his voice, especially not in the fruit aisle, where a mother with her toddler gives him a dirty look on her way past, but he's so shocked and panicked he can't stop himself from blurting out, "Buck, what the fuck happened? You were picking Christopher up from school today! Where does jail fit into this?!"

"Eddie, I'm sorry." Buck sighs. "I swear I'll explain everything when you get here, but I don't have a lot of time left on this call and I'm kind of freaking out right now. Please, can you just--"

"Of course, yeah, sorry, I'm on my way, give me like twenty minutes, ok? I'm across town."

"Thank you." the line cuts off abruptly and Eddie's left to ponder what could possibly have happened to have led up to his almost nine months pregnant husband being arrested as he abandons his cart and runs out into the parking lot.

****************

Eddie nearly gets arrested himself, with the way he's speeding down the highway before turning onto the main road and parking right in front of the station, where only police vehicles are allowed.

The alpha finds his kid with a social worker, happily munching on a donut. “Chris!?” Eddie runs over and engulfs his son in a suffocating hug. “Are you ok? What happened?” 

Christopher pulls away slightly, nodding. “I’m ok. Bucky got in trouble ‘cause the lady at the park lied. Officer Reyes said he’s gonna bring him out soon.” 

The social worker explains the whole story to Eddie, “Thankfully there were a lot of witnesses who corroborated the events. Your husband should be out in a few minutes; it was all just an awful misunderstanding. The woman at the park is in custody right now for giving the police a false accusation and wasting everybody’s time.”  

Eddie’s shoulders slump in relief and he practically falls into a chair nearby, pulling Christopher onto his lap and holding him tight around the middle. “Is he ok? Buck is pregnant. He’s due in two weeks.” 

The social worker gives him a sympathetic look. “I’m sure he’s in good hands. Officer Reyes will have him out here in a couple of minutes.” 

****************

After a couple of minutes turns to five, turns to ten, Eddie starts to get angsty. Which is why it’s a good thing, when he happens to spot Athena rounding the corner and into the station. He calls over to her and she furrows her brows in concern before making her way across to them. 

“Eddie? Christopher? What’s going on?” 

“It’s a long story.” Eddie sighs, “But Buck is being held in a cell right now, they said an officer Reyes was supposed to bring him down here, that he was free to go, but that was forever ago,” he exaggerates. “Can you please find out what’s taking so long?” 

“Of course.” 

****************

Buck sobs openly when his alpha enters the room, “Eddie!” he calls out desperately. 

Athena holds Buck close and looks up. “He’s in labor. Contractions are less than a minute apart. He needs to start pushing.” 

Eddie doesn’t hesitate, though his brain feels like it’s about to short circuit if even one more insane thing happens within these twenty four hours. He drops between Buck’s knees and reaches out to squeeze his hand. “Hey, I’m here, I’m here, you’ve got this, ok? Cause I’ve got you.” 

“I’m scared.” Buck admits, tears sliding down face, and he’s shaking like a leaf, terrified that something will go wrong. “I don’t--” he groans pitifully against another contraction. “Don’t wanna have her in here.” 

“I know baby, I know, but she’s coming now, Buck. She’s not gonna wait for us to make it to a hospital. She’s impatient,” Eddie kisses his hand, squeezing again, comfortingly. “Just like you.” 

Buck huffs. “No, like you. Y-you never wait for your soup to cool down.” 

“My Tia’s sopa is worth the burnt tongue.” Eddie plays along, trying to distract him from the pain. “Baby, I need you to push, ok? I know this isn’t how we pictured any of this, but it’s time.” 

Buck nods through the tears and steels himself. 

“Good, good, now push, c’mon, you can do this. I’m right here.” 

****************

“You look handsome in your mugshot.” Eddie tells Buck, staring at the photo he asked Athena to send him on his phone.

Buck glares at the alpha. “Funny.” 

Eddie leans down to kiss the frown off his face. “Sorry, too soon?” 

Buck turns the other way in bed with an annoyed huff. “You’re on baby night duty for the rest of the week.” he shuts the lamp light off and then the room is dim with just the moon peaking in through their blinds. 

“Hey,” Eddie sits up, tilting his head. It’s been over a month since the incident, and sure, it hadn’t been pleasant, but Buck and their baby had made it through just fine, health intact, and in the hospital Buck hadn’t seemed too phased after the ordeal, mostly content with Christopher and the baby curled up against and on him. “That was a stupid joke, I’m sorry.” 

Buck gulps. He’s being way too sensitive about this. Everything turned out alright and shortly after the whole thing had passed Chimney had even teased him that of course only Buck would have bad enough luck to end up giving birth in a holding cell. And Buck had laughed it off. 

Mostly because he’d been relieved. 

And then of course with the new baby the last month has been a whirlwind of constant activity, of making sure all her needs are met, of making sure Christopher’s not feeling neglected, of debating on when he should start thinking about going back to work and--

Eddie’s heart leaps when he hears Buck’s sharp intake of breath. “Buck?” 

Buck sits up now, too, swiping miserably at the tears that suddenly won’t stop falling. “Sorry, I--ignore me. I didn’t--” he sniffles. “I haven’t really thought about that day since--everything’s been so busy with--you know?--and--” he cuts himself off with a choked off sob. “It’s the hormones.” 

It’s been four weeks now and his hormones from the pregnancy are still driving him every which way and he feels ridiculous right now, crying over something he should have processed a month ago already. 

Eddie wraps his arms around Buck and pulls him between his legs and against his chest. “Let it out.” he says. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” 

Buck curls into Eddie and releases all emotion he hadn’t realized he’d been keeping all pent up inside. The fear, the anguish--Buck lets himself be held, coddled, loved. 

It feels good. 

After he’s cried for what feels like ages Buck rests the side of his head on Eddie’s shoulder and exhales. “You know Christopher wanted to name her Tuubee?” he murmurs. 

Eddie, who’s rubbing up and down his husbands back, pauses a moment. “’Tuubee’?” he repeats. 

Buck half smirks against his shoulder. “Two B. The cell where she was born.”

.

[hawkebegins]

Maybe but maybe not

tw// abuse , homophobic language, panic attacks

Bucks anxious. He usually is when it comes to his parents. But this time, in particular..this time they want to meet the 118. All of them..at dinner..together. Yeah, what could go wrong? It's just dinner..right?

A lot is what Buck is thinking, a LOT could go wrong.

Buck had come to terms with the fact that his parents never would accept him years ago, but it was okay because he would never have to bring a boy home, I mean who would ever want him anyways. But he never imagined they would show up at the firehouse telling him they wanted to have the 118 and Buck for dinner.

He never thought his parents would meet the 118.

Buck had been dreading this dinner all day. He thought about not telling the team and canceling, but he figured that would end in disaster with his parents showing up anyways and it ending up in a screaming match. Which is something he was trying to desperately avoid. He just needed to get through one dinner, a dinner he needed to be perfect, so he decided right there he wouldn't look at Eddie or reach for his hand when he got panicked as he no doubt would be before the night was over.

Oh, how he failed at that.

*

6 o'clock rolled around faster than Buck would have liked but the faster this dinner got started the faster his parents would be gone and he could go back to his life and be himself without fear.

“Buck you good” Buck registered that someone was talking to him but he didn't know who till there was a hand on his shoulder, he jumped before looking at whoever had touched him and saw the kind and beautiful eyes that he had grown to fall in love with over the past couple years

“Yeah, Eds I'm good” Buck turned to go back to cooking feeling Eddies eyes watching him before he stopped when he heard that voice, the voice he feared and dreaded more than anything else.

“Evan.”

Buck knew that he needed to turn around and acknowledge his parent's presence but he couldn't force himself to do it.

“Evan Buckley you answer me when I'm talking to you” Buck recognized the tone anywhere, he needed to turn around and say something before something bad happened, he couldn't let it happen. Not in front of the 118. Not in front of Eddie.

Slowly Buck turns around before taking a breath, “Dad hey, I'm glad you made it okay. Mom, it's nice to see you” Buck feels all the eyes on him in the room and at that moment he wishes more than anything that a 5 alarm fire was going on. How awful is that, what kind of person wishes for a fire much less a 5 alarm fire just to get out of dinner with his parents.

“Hello Evan, so this is where you work? Its…quaint.” He hears his mom's remark. He's not registering anything but before he can say another word he sees Bobby grab the pasta they had been making together and set it on the table.

“Buck tells me you love pasta so we made some 5 cheese ziti” No one would see it if you weren't paying attention but Eddie saw it, he watched Buck wince as Bobby called him Buck.

“Evan I see you're still going by that ridiculous name” his mom hastily replies giving Buck a look of disappointment

“It's just a name mom” He replies in the smallest voice the team had ever heard from Buck

“Watch your tone when you speak to your mother.” No one dared to make a move waiting for Buck to say something, but he doesn't he just nods his head.

Dinner had gone on without anything terrible happening and he started to relax. He knew when he sat down for dinner that he shouldn't have sat by Eddie, when Buck relaxes he gets touchy, and usually its with Eddie. He didn't even realize he was doing it until he heard his dad's booming voice that brought him right back to his bedroom when he was 16 and caught Buck making out with his best friend at the time.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING EVAN BUCKLEY” All Buck can feel is his dad ripping his hand from Eddies and dragging Buck downstairs. All he feels is pure panic.

“I did not raise my son to be a faggot. I raised you to be a man. Guess I’m gonna have to teach you what it means to be a man all over again arent I.” Buck’s eyes go wide in terror and before he can make a move he's on the ground, his dad is on top of him punching him; repeatedly.

“Dad please p-please I'm sorry.” Before his dad can make a move he hears screaming.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE” Eddie. It's Eddie who came to save him.

“With all due respect sir- actually I have no respect for you but you have no right to treat Buck like this, and I think it's time for you to leave.” With nothing more said between Mr.Buckley and Eddie he heads towards the exit but before he leaves he looks down at Buck in disgust, “This isn't over faggot. I promise you that.” All Buck can manage is a small nod.

Buck knows that Eddie would never hurt him but as soon as he sees Eddie walking toward him he's startled and runs. Runs to his jeep and drives he drives till he reaches the loft, as soon as he enters the loft and he is in his bed he's sobbing harder than he has in years.

Eddie had never seen Buck like that, so sufficed to say he was worried. He didn't need to think of where Bucks head was at, he knew Buck and he knew that he would beat himself up over this and blame himself for what his dad did so he decided to go over there after his shift but before his shift was over his phone started ringing. It wasn't Buck, it was Chris.

“Hey buddy how was school”

“Daddy what's wrong with Buck” Eddie feels the breath leave his lungs when he hears Chris say this.

“What are you talking about Chris he's fine.” Eddie doesn't know if he's trying to convince himself or Chris, all he knows is that Buck has to be okay.

“But he just called the house looking for you and he sounded like he was crying, dad, he needs you.” Chris doesn't say anything more just hangs up before anyone says anything Eddie is on his way to Bucks.

Eddie enters the loft and it's dark and quiet, unlike Buck as he usually has something playing on the tv as it calms his anxiety.“Buck?” There's no response which worries Eddie even more. “Buck where are you?” All he gets in response is a small sob coming from upstairs Eddie runs upstairs fearing the worst. What he walks into breaks his heart and isn't something he was ever expecting.

Buck knew how to keep his cool, he knew how to pretend he was fine, he had been doing it for years. If he was being honest with himself he hadn't been fine for a while, since the lawsuit he could feel himself breaking but he decided to just pretend he was fine. Who would care if he wasn't okay anyways, they all have issues they don't need his on top of theirs.

He was fine. He was keeping it together until his parents brought everything he had shoved into a box back out and now he couldn't handle it, it was all too much for him. He was aware that he was on the verge of a breakdown or worse, a panic attack.

Buck had heard the door open but figured that whoever it was would leave when they didn’t hear anything on the tv and all the lights were off. He hoped that they would just leave him alone to be miserable but then he started thinking. Started thinking if they didn’t leave and saw him like this. See him weak and miserable, everything his dad had told him replaying in his head.

“you were a mistake”

“you aren’t a man”

“should have left you when we had the chance”

“I didn’t raise you to be a faggot.”

“no one will ever want you.”

Before he realized it tears were streaming down his face and sobs leaving his body. He couldn’t get any air, he was panicking he knew he was but couldn’t make it stop, and the more he tried the worse it got. Black was starting to cloud his vision that’s when he saw him, his savior, his best friend, the love of his life.

Eddie.

Eddie saw his best friend in a way he had never seen him before; broken. He had suspected for a while now that Buck wasn’t okay but he never imagined it was this bad. Buck cradling a pillow like his life depended on it, sobbing and hyperventilating. Eddie didn’t need to think twice, he walked slowly to buck, he knew to not move too fast, Buck was like a wild animal, moving too fast and he would either run away or attack. Eddie needed to make Buck feel safe.

“Buck hey man it’s Eddie, what can I do” Eddie slowly sat on the bed next to Buck trying to get Buck to open up and say anything.

“E-Eddie?” Eddie’s heart breaks that he’s never heard Buck sound so fragile and broken.

“Yeah man it’s me, what’s going on in that head of yours” Eddie slowly reaches his hand out to touch Buck but Buck winces. “Hey buck it’s just me, okay I would never hurt you, you know that.” That seems to get through his head because faster than he can process buck is sobbing in his arms.

All Eddie heads is Buck letting out a string of apologies and Eddie can’t for the life of him figure out why Buck is apologizing so he just tries to calm him telling him it’s okay. Eventually, Buck falls asleep in Eddie’s arms.

When Buck wakes up he comes face to face with Eddie and he can’t help but smile. He knows he shouldn't and he knows he needs to face reality but those 30 seconds he had of peace with Eddie laying next to him with a slight smile on his face is the type of peace he had been looking for his entire life. But all that peace goes out the window when he remembers last night.

He knew that when his parents came to town it was gonna end in disaster but why did he have to make it worse. Why did he have to call Chris and have a breakdown and ruin everything with Eddie?

“You should go Eddie” is all buck says when Eddie wakes up, Buck knows that's shitty after Eddie was there for him last night but he can't help but push him away, he can't let Eddie see him like this anymore.

“Buck no I'm not going anywhere we need to talk about yesterday okay, I've let you pretend you were fine for months cause I figured sooner or later you'd talk to me but you haven't so I'm not leaving until you talk to me.” Eddie finally snaps and Buck can't blame him, especially when everytime Eddie asked what was wrong Buck blew him off. But he can't bring himself to talk to Eddie, not when Eddie has enough to deal with on his own.

“Eddie just go be with your son, I’m fine you don't need to worry about me.” Buck can feel the frustration radiating off of Eddie but can't bring himself to tell Eddie what's going on with him. He can't bear the thought of Eddie looking at him differently, the way everyone else in his life does.

“Buck enough you arent fine okay you haven't been fine. You had a panic attack last night. You were sobbing when I came over last night. Alright, you called Chris looking for me crying you needed me then, what changed?”

Buck knows he's being stubborn and he knows that no matter how many times he tells Eddie to leave it alone he won't. That's just the kind of friend Eddie is.

“Nothings changed Eddie, I always need you okay is that what you wanna hear? That is so weak that I always need you around. That is so fucking broken that my parents hate me for who I am and that no matter how hard I try I'm never enough for anyone to stay? I was born for parts I'm not who people stay for im just who they keep in their life till someone better comes along. I'm sorry okay, I'm sorry that I'm not enough and that you have to deal with all my bullshit. I know its exhausting and I'm sorry.”

Eddie wants to cry, is that really what Buck thinks? Does he think all he's good for is spare parts? Or just being a fill-in? Does he not know what he means to the team?

To Chris?

To him?

“Buck none of that is true okay you are more than that. You are not broken. Fuck what your parents say or think okay, family isn't just blood. You choose your family alright and you are my family. Were family Buck. You are stuck with us, we aren't going anywhere.”

Buck wants so badly to believe that but how many times has Maddie told him that same thing and how many times has she left. So all he can do is scoff and turn his back to Eddie hoping Eddie will take the hint and leave.

Sufficed to say he didn't.

“Damnit Buck can you not see that you are loved? That the team loves you? That Chris loves you? Fuck that I love you? What is it gonna take for you to believe that.”

That's it. That's all Buck can take before he ends up snapping, he can take knowing that Eddie will never love him, that he doesn't want him, and he cant take a false hope.

“Eddie just stop please I can't take it anymore just go you don't love me okay? No one could ever lo-” Buck doesn't get the chance to finish because Eddie's lips are on his.

Eddies lips.

On his.

Much to Buck’s disappointment, Eddie pulls away quicker than he would like.

“Buck shut up. I love you okay? I've been in love with you so just shut up okay?”

Buck can't help but feel the internal struggle inside of his head start to take over, he knows that this is who he is and he knows that he loves Eddie but he also knows the things his dad has told him since he's been 16 still ring in his head. He can't help but feel like what he feels and what Eddie feels is wrong.

“N-no this- this is wrong no I'm not. I'm not, NO this is wrong.” is all Buck can spit out before falling against the door and sobs escaping his body. He can feel eddies eyes on him and that just makes him want to hide behind a door and never come back out. He loves Eddie he knows he does and he knows Eddie knows but it's wrong..its wrong..right?

“Buck look at me okay I need you to look at me” Bucks hears Eddie say to him in the same soft tone he talks to Chris in when Chris is having a panic attack, he can't help but look at Eddie whos sitting a few feet in front of him.

“Buck this isn't wrong okay I know what your parents think and I know that you've been forced to keep this part of yourself locked away for years but you aren't living with your parents anymore okay they aren't here and they can't hurt you. There is nothing wrong with you, okay?”

Buck starts to relax and scoots closer to Eddie feeling more relaxed while touching Eddie.

“I'm really fucked up eds, do you really love me? Do you.do you really want me?”

“Buck, there is nothing else I want more, I love you, and yeah you have your issues but all of us do okay? We will get through them together. I promise.”

Buck finally believes him and Eddie can tell by the way his shoulders start to relax. Before Eddie can say anything more Buck kisses him and whispers, “For the record, I love you too.”

Eddie smirks before simply saying, “ Really I had no idea.”

[drysdaales]

Hiya! Would you be willing to share more of your thoughts about the lawsuit arc? I am rewatching it now and I'm having all sorts of new feelings about it!

hi there! i can definitely share them! i will say that a lot of my thoughts (especially on my first rewatch) were colored by my experience in the fandom at the time, which is a lot of why i left the fandom in the first place (but i'm back and better than ever!)

disclaimer: these are my thoughts, and i don't think that many of the people i interacted with/read posts from back then were doing or saying things maliciously, but taken together, it left a bad taste in my mouth. (also it got long sorry anon u did not ask for an essay lol!)

a lot of it stems from a gross mischaracterization of buck. if someone grossly mischaracterizes buck, then it follows that they will, in response to that, likely mischaracterize eddie and bobby, especially surrounding the episodes 3x04, 3x05, and 3x06.

hindsight is 20/20, and i think, now knowing what we do about the buckley parents, eddie, bobby, etc, there's a better grasp on the situation, but it's become this fodder for a fight because there's an inability to distinguish nuance from "right and wrong." and tbqh, maybe this is a hot take, but their actions aren't ooc to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

to start: bobby keeping buck from work without an explanation? that's kind of brutal. i think we can say that. bobby and athena inviting buck over for dinner and buck finding out that it was bobby who kept him out? also brutal! we can say that bobby's motivations were good while knowing that maybe the way he went about it was not so good. that doesn't make bobby a bad person! it makes him human, prone to overthinking. that's his trauma rearing its ugly head.

buck seeing lena's name taped over his? when we know (now?) how much he fears being left? another sting! that, coupled with finding out about bobby's "betrayal" in his mind, leads him to make an impulsive (and very bad) decision to sue bobby. like... in his right mind? i think he wouldn't have done that. but he wasn't in his right mind. so neither of them are right, but neither of them are wrong. and sometimes that can be hard, but nuance exists for a reason. he's not a bad person, just impulsive, didn't think it through! again, human. that's buck's trauma rearing its ugly head.

eddie finding out that buck is suing the department, therefore going no contact with eddie (and christopher) and has shared personal information with his (awful) lawyer? i think eddie has every right to be mad about that. eddie calling buck exhausting? NOT great. we know that. we know that! but you know what else we know? that eddie was grieving, and eddie was hurting, and he was missing someone he'd come to rely heavily on since his wife's death. so again. he's not right, but he's not wrong. this is, you guessed it: eddie's trauma rearing its ugly head.

the lawsuit arc is excellent writing, because it's an amalgam of good people in shitty situations making poor choices because they're scared and letting their traumas affect their reactions (a very human thing to do, imo). bobby's scared he's going to lose buck permanently (i.e. in 3x18 "i'm tired of being on the wrong side of those hospital doors"). buck's scared he's going to lose his whole family (see: his entire life pre-joining the 118). eddie's scared that someone is leaving him again, just after he'd reaffirmed his trust in them (see: him proposing to shannon again and her telling him she wants a divorce and then also dying.)

the lawsuit arc also makes my skin crawl because of how people just...refused to see any nuance in it, and instead painted the entire 118 as villains, and "rewrote" canon to have buck being angry and calling it "fix-it fic." i say often that we tend to re-litigate (no pun intended lmao) the lawsuit arc every few months because there's a misunderstanding somewhere with "ugh why would bobby be so mean to buck! why would eddie call buck exhausting buck doesn't deserve this!" there's no need to keep rehashing old arguments. we can all interpret art the way we so choose, but there is a difference between interpretation and foregoing canon entirely, and it's made that arc a difficult one for me to appreciate.

tl;dr: the lawsuit arc is great and NOT ooc but people don't understand nuance and have therefore made it difficult for me to watch.

[queerfables]

Thoughts on 911, start of s3

3x01-3x03

I really like these big city wide disaster episodes. There's lots of room for high stakes, low resources and unexpected complications

Jeeze this show is really written to pull on parental heartstrings. I really like how much of a focus they put on the characters families and how the kids get to be fleshed out characters. But also I think it's clear (and interesting!) how the target demographic of this show is a little older than a lot of the action-y shows that get popular in fandom.

Tbh my feelings on Buck and Eddie through s2 have been like, "sure they're both pretty and they have a few moments but I'm not quite feeling that 'spark'"

But there really isn't anything more profoundly meaningful than "there's no one I'd trust with my kid more than you" so. There's that.

Buck loves Christopher like crazy it's really important to me

I would like to see more of Buck and Eddie quietly losing it over the other one being in danger though. Like not every episode. Obviously they are both extremely competent firefighters who trust each other's skill and experience. Just, you know, occasionally.

3x04

Oh Chimney, don't make this about you. Of course Maddie is going to freak out sometimes if she's reminded of her past relationship. She knows you're nothing like Doug (she wouldn't be with you if she didn't know that) but her brain and her body are wired to protect her from a situation she's not in any more. Just give them some time to catch up.

I really appreciate how this show will show Maddie is traumatised without making her seem fragile.

Oh my god they replaced Buck with the lady I'm pretty sure is Eddie's new love interest? That's hilarious.

Wow the Buckleys are not batting a thousand this episode. Buck do not sue the city because your boss wants you to take a little more time off work, there are approximately a hundred other ways to deal with that which don't burn every bridge in your life down? And Maddie don't stalk your caller and really don't RUN A MAN OVER that is UNHINGED. If nothing else, what if you're wrong??

Was Buck actually fired? I really thought he was just on leave?

3x05

Buck's lawyer is really tearing into everyone

Jesus this is miserable

Buck you're a dumbass what did you think was going to happen

Wow I'm extremely fucking gay for Eddie's new lady friend

Buck and Eddie having a domestic at the grocery store is extremely funny

Eddie doing some dumbass fight club thing what a dork

3x06

Oh we're doing movie homages for this Halloween episode? Delightful

Don't be mean about the bird, Chimney, crows are great

I do feel like Bobby was a bit overprotective with Buck in not letting him come back to work (even though Buck massively overreacted)

Buck what the hell did you expect after suing everyone come on now it'll take some time

Oh Eddie is pisssssed at Buck

Maddie I know you wanna help but all of this is a BAD idea

Maddie I'm sorry but Chimney is super right this whole thing is so bad you have GOT to stop

Lmfao Eddie is SO mad

"I'm not mad," says Eddie, madly.

Aw thank God both Buckleys are doing a little better. Now I just need Eddie to find a coping mechanism that isn't underground cage fighting