#like. so old that its from the Beginning Stages of development. back when he was a pastel goth girl named catherine <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Zuck’s gravity-defying metaverse money-pit

Tomorrow (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.

Think of everything that makes you miserable as being caught between two opposing, irresistible, irrefutable truths:

"Anything that can't go on forever eventually stops" (Stein's Law)

"Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent" (Keynes)

Both of these are true, even though they seemingly contradict one another, and no one embodies that contradiction more perfectly than Mark Zuckerberg.

Take the metaverse.

Zuck's "pivot" to a virtual world he ripped off from a quarter-century old cyberpunk novel (reminder: cyberpunk is a warning, not a suggestion) was born of desperation.

Zuck fancies himself an avatar of the Emperor Augustus (that's why he has that haircut) (no, really). The emperors of antiquity are infamous for getting all weepy when they run out of lands to conquer.

But the lachrymosity of emperors has little causal relationship to the anxieties of tech monopolists! Alexander weeps because he just loves a good conquest and when he finishes conquering the world, he's terminally bored. That's not Zuck's problem at all. When Zuck attains monopoly status, his company develops an autoimmune disorder, as his vicious princelings run out of enemies to destroy and begin to knife one another.

Any monopoly faces these destructive microincentives, but tech is exceptional here because tech has the realtime flexibility and speed that brick-and-mortar businesses can never match:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

Sociopaths with tech monopolies are worse for the same reason that road-rage would be worse in a flying car: adding new capacity to indiscriminate self-destructive urges turns ordinary car crashes into low-level airburst warfare:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

The flexibility of digital gives tech platforms so much latitude to break things in tiny increments. A tech platform is like a Jenga tower composed of infinitely divisible blocks. The Jenga players are the product managers and executives who have run out of the ability to grow by attracting new business thanks to their monopoly dominance. Now they compete with one another to increase the yield from their respective divisions by visiting pain upon the business customers and end users their platform connects. By tiny increments, they increase the product's cost, lower its reliability, and strip it of its utility and then charge rent to restore its functionality:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/24/cursed-bigness/#incentives-matter

This is the terminal stage of enshittification, the unstoppable autocannibalism of platforms as they seek to harvest all the value created by business customers and end users, leaving the absolute minimum of residual value needed to keep both stuck to the platform. This is a brittle equilibrium, because the difference between "I hate this service but I just can't stop using it," and "Get me the fuck out of here" is razor-thin.

All it takes is one tiny push – a whistleblower, a livestreamed mass-shooting, a Cambridge Analytica – and people bolt for the doors. This triggers the final stage: the "pivot," which is a tech euphemism for "panic."

For Zuck, the pivot got real after a disappointing earnings call triggered a mass sell-off of Facebook stock, history's worst one-day value incineration, which lopped a quarter of a trillion dollars off the company's market cap:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-12-19/dramatic-stock-moves-of-2022-led-by-meta-dive-nordic-flash-crash

This was when the metaverse became the company's top priority.

Now, in my theory of enshittification, the step that follows the pivot is death: "Finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

Many people have asked me about the conspicuous non-death of Facebook! That's where I have to fall back on Stein's Law: "Anything that can't go on forever eventually stops." Facebook can't continue to annihilate value, alienate its workers, harm the public, hemorrhage money in support of a mediocrity's cherished folly forever. Can it?

Admittedly, it sure seems like it can. Facebook's metaverse pivot has thus far cost the company $46,500,000,000. That is: $46.5 billion. That's even more money than Uber torched, seeking to maintain the illusion that they will be able to create monopolies on both transport and the labor market for driving and recoup the billions the Saudi royal family let them use for the con:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/11/bezzlers-gonna-bezzle/#gryft

Don't worry: the Saudi royals are fine! They cashed out at the IPO, collecting a tidy profit at the expense of retail investors who assumed that a pile of shit as big as Uber must have a pony under it, somewhere:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/19/fake-it-till-you-make-it/#millennial-lifestyle-subsidy

Uber has doubled the cost of rides and halved drivers' wages, using illegal gimmicks like "algorithmic wage discrimination" to squeeze a little more juice out of the nearly exhausted husks of its workforce:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

But Stein's Law hasn't been repealed. Drivers can't drive for sub-subsistence wages. Do that long enough and they'll literally starve: that's what "subsistence" means. We lost a decade of transit investment thanks to the Uber con, at the same time as traditional taxi drivers were forced out of the industry. Uber can't be profitable and still pay a living wage, and the fantasy of self-driving cars as a means of zeroing out the wage-bill altogether remains stubbornly, lethally unworkable:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

Which means we're at the point where you can get off a commuter train at a main station and find yourself stranded: no taxis at the taxi-queue, no busses due for an hour, and no Uber cars available unless you're willing to pay $95 for a ten-minute ride in a luxury SUV (why yes, this did happen to me recently, thanks for asking).

As more and more of us are exposed to these micro-crises, the political will to do something will increase. This can't go on forever. "Don't use commuter rail" isn't a viable option. "Walk three miles each way to the commuter rail station" isn't viable either. Neither is "Pay $95 for an Uber to get to the station." Something's gotta give…eventually.

"Eventually" is the key word here. Remember the corollary of Stein's Law: Keynes's maxim that "markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent." Sure, anything that can't go on forever eventually stops, but that is no guarantee of a soft landing. You can't smoke two packs a day forever – but in the absence of smoking cessation, the eventual terminus of that habit is stage-four lung cancer. Keep hammering butts into your face and your last smoke will come out a crematorium chimney.

Zuckerberg hasn't merely blown a whole-ass Twitter on the metaverse with nothing to show for it – he's gotten richer while doing it! In the past year, his net worth increased by 130%, to $59 billion, thanks to an increase in Facebook's share-price, driven by investors who stubbornly remain irrational, keeping the Boy Emperor solvent long past any reasonable assessment of his performance.

What are these investors betting on? One possibility is that the rise and rise of Facebook's share-price represents a bet on technofeudalism. Since the Communist Manifesto, Marxists have been predicting the end of capitalism. That end seems to have come, but what followed capitalism wasn't socialism, it was the return of feudalism, an economic system where elites derive their wealth from rents, not profits:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

Profit is the income you get from investing in capital – machinery, systems, plant – and then harvesting the surplus value created by workers who mobilize this capital. Capitalism produces massive returns for its winners – in the Manifesto's first chapter, Marx and Engels just geek out about how productive and dynamic this system is.

But capitalism is also a Red Queen's Race, where the winners have to run faster and faster to stay in the same place. Capitalism drives competition, as other would-be winners pile into the sector, replicating the systems that the current winners are using and then improving on them. This is why the prophets of capitalist end-times like the FBI informant Peter Thiel say that "competition is for losers."

Capitalism's "profits" stand in contrast to the feudalist's "rents." Rents are income you get from owning something that other people need to produce things. The capitalist owns the coffee-shop, but the feudalist owns the building. When a rival capitalist opens a superior coffee-shop and drives the old shop out of business, the capitalist loses, but the rentier wins. Now they can rent out an empty storefront in the neighborhood everyone's coming to because of that hot new cafe.

Feudal and manorial lords also made their fortunes by extracting surplus value from workers, but these rentiers don't care about owning the means of production. The peasant in the field pays for their own agricultural equipment and livestock – control over the means of production is necessary for worker liberation, but it's not sufficient. The worker's co-op that owns its factory can still find the value it produces bled off by the landlord who owns the land the factory sits on.

The jury's still out on whether American workers really see themselves as "temporarily embarrassed millionaires," but America's capitalists have a palpable, undeniable loathing for capitalism. The dream of an American "entrepreneur" is *PassiveIncome: money you get from owning something capitalists and/or workers use to create value. Digital technology creates exciting new possibilities for rent-extraction: a taxi-operator had to buy and maintain a car that someone else drove. Uber can offload this hassle onto its drivers and rent out access to the chokepoint it created between drivers and riders, charging all the traffic can bear. This is feudalism in the cloud – or as Yannis Varoufakis calls it, cloudalism.

In Varoufakis's Technofeudalism, he describes Amazon as a feudal venture. From a distance, Amazon seems like a bustling marketplace of manic capitalism, with sellers avidly competing to offer more variety and lower costs in a million independently operated storefronts. But closer inspection reveals that Amazon is a planned economy, not a market.

Every one of those storefronts pays rent to the same landlord – Amazon – which determines which goods can be offered for sale. Amazon sets pricing for those goods, and extracts 45-51% of every dollar those sellers make. Amazon even controls which goods are shelved at eye-height when you enter the store, and which ones are banished to a dusty storeroom in a distant sub-basement you'll never find:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/14/flywheel-shyster-and-flywheel/#unfulfilled-by-amazon

Zuck's metaverse is pure-play technofeudalism, Amazon taken to the logical extreme. It's easy to get distracted by the part of Zuck's vision that will convert us all into legless, sexless, heavily surveilled low-resolution cartoon characters. But the real action isn't this digitization of our fleshy wants and needs. Zuck didn't spend $46.5B to torment us.

The cruelty isn't the point of the metaverse.

The point of the metaverse is to rent us out to capitalists.

Zuck doesn't know why we would use the metaverse, but he believes that if he can convince capitalists that we all want to live there, that they'll invest the capital to figure out how to serve us there, and then he can extract rent from those capitalists and start earning "passive income." It's an Uber for Cyberpunk Dystopias play.

Zuck's done this before. Remember the "pivot to video?" Zuckerberg wanted to compete with Youtube, but he didn't want to invest in paying for video production. Videos are really expensive to produce and the median video gets zero views. So Zuck used his captive audience to trick publishers into financing his move into video. He fraudulently told publishers that videos were blowing up on Facebook, outperforming boring old text by vast margins.

Publishers borrowed billions and raised billions more in the capital markets, financing the total conversion of newsrooms from text to video and precipitating a mass extinction event for print journalists. Zuck kept the con alive by giving away (fewer) billions to some of those publishers, falsely claiming that their videos were generating fortunes in advertising revenue. These lucky, credulous publishers became judas goats for their industry, luring others into the con, the same way that the "lucky" guy a carny lets win a giant teddy-bear at the start of the day lures others into putting down $5 to see if they can sink three balls in a rigged peach-basket.

But when we stubbornly refused to watch videos on Facebook, Zuck stopped spreading around these convincer payouts, and precipitated a second mass-extinction event in news media, as the new generation of video journalists joined their predecessors in Facebook-driven unemployment. Given this history, it's surreal to see publishers continue to insist that Facebook is stealing their content, when it is so clearly stealing their money:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

Metaverse is the new Pivot to Video. Zuckerberg is building a new world, which he will own, and he wants rent it to capitalists, who will compete with one another in just the way that Amazon's sellers compete. No matter who wins that competition, Zuckerberg will win. The prize for winning will be a rent increase, as Zuckerberg leverages the fact that your "successful" business relies on Facebook's metaverse to drain off all the value your workers have produced:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/18/metaverse-means-pivot-to-video/

This can't last forever, but how long until Zuck's reality distortion field runs out of battery? That's the $46.5B question.

The market can certainly remain irrational for a hell of a long time. But the market isn't the only force that regulates corporate outcomes. Regulators also regulate. Europe's GDPR is now seven years old, and it plainly outlaws Facebook's surveillance.

For nearly a decade, Facebook has pretended that this wasn't true, and they got away with it. Mostly, that's thanks to the fact that Ireland is a corporate crime-haven with a worse-than-useless Data Protection Commission:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town

But anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. Facebook has finally been dragged into EU federal jurisdiction, where it will face exterminatory fines if it continues to spy on Europeans:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/07/luck-of-the-irish/#schrems-revenge

In response, Facebook has rolled out a subscription version of its main service and its anticompetitive acquisition, Instagram:

https://about.fb.com/news/2023/10/facebook-and-instagram-to-offer-subscription-for-no-ads-in-europe/

For €10/month, Facebook will give you an ad-free experience across its service offerings (it's €13/month if you pay through an app, as Facebook recoups the 30% #AdTax rents that the feudal Google/Apple mobile duopoly extracts).

But this doesn't come close to satisfying Facebook's legal obligations under the GDPR. The GDPR doesn't ban ads, it bans spying. Facebook spies on every single internet user, all the time. The apps we use are built with "free" Facebook toolkits that extract rent from the capitalists who make them by harvesting our data as we use their apps. The web-pages we visit have embedded Facebook libraries that do the same thing for web publishers. Facebook buys our data from brokers. Facebook has so many ways of spying on us that there's almost certainly no way for Facebook to stop spying on you, without radically transforming it operation.

To comply with the GDPR, Facebook must halt surveillance advertising altogether. There's no way to square "spying on users" with "you can't surveil without explicit consent, and you can't punish people for refusing."

And of course, "not spying" isn't the same as "not advertising." "Contextual advertising" – where ads are placed based on the thing you're looking at, not who you are and what you do – is hundreds of years old. Context ads underperform surveillance ads by a slim margin – about 5% – but they're vastly more profitable for publishers. That's because surveillance ads are feudal, controlled by rentiers like Facebook, who own vast troves of the surveillance data needed to run these ads. Traditional ad intermediaries (agencies, brokers) took 10-15% out of the total advertising market. Ad-tech companies – the Google/Facebook duopoly – take 51% out of every ad dollar spent.

Eliminate surveillance ads and you torch their feudal estates. Facebook will always know more about someone reading a news article than the publisher – but the publisher will always know more about the article than Facebook does:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/05/save-news-we-must-ban-surveillance-advertising

There are rents under capitalism, just as there are profits under feudalism. The defining characteristic of a system is what happens when rents and profits come into conflict. If profits win – for example, if productive companies beat patent trolls, or if news publishers escape Facebook's rent-extraction – then the system is capitalist. If rents win – if investors continue to bet large on the metaverse as its losses pass $50 billion and head for the $100 billion mark – then the system is feudal.

Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. The question isn't whether the platforms will eventually become so enshittified that they die – the question is whether they will go down in an all-consuming fireball, or whether they'll go down in a controlled demolition that lets us evacuate the people they've trapped inside them first:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/09/let-the-platforms-burn/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/30/markets-remaining-irrational/#steins-law

Image: Diego Delso (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Puente_de_las_cataratas_Victoria,_Zambia-Zimbabue,_2018-07-27,_DD_10.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Accidentally Conquering Humanity

*Audience claps as talk show begins

Human Host: Good morning world, and welcome to the start of your day.

Human Host: I’m your host David Jefferson.

Human Host 2: And I’m Joy Menferd.

David: Our first guest today is a recent tech entrepreneur visiting our little planet today all the way from Vengon VI; please give a warm welcome to Kelnor Hi’tel!

*Audience begins to clap as Kelnor slowly levitates on to the stage from the back. They nervously wave their tentacles at the human gathering before sitting down on the couch next to Joy.

Kelnor: *Slit in mouth vibrates but never opens

Kelnor: Greetings human David and human Joy.

Kelnor: Kelnor is most joyful to be on this human entertainment circuit.

David: *Laughs and smiles

David: Well if that isn’t the warmest welcome I’ve had since we invited Drumstick the acrobatic chicken.

Joy: Didn’t we have him on the show last week?

David: *Shrugs

David: What can I say; it’s been a long week.

Audience: *Laughs

David: Now Kelnor I understand you are here to show us one of your latest inventions.

Kelnor: This is correct.

*Kelnor’s tentacle reaches into pocket and withdraws a small vile

Kelnor: Kelnor calls it “Serum PS”.

David: Did you come up with that name?

Kelnor: Kelnor did.

David: Then I would invest in a marketing firm before you put that to market

Audience: *Laughs

Kelnor: Kelnor thought it an appropriate name as it has a connection to your people.

Joy: Oh?

Joy: And what would that be?

Kelnor: I believe your culture calls it the “Philosopher Stone”.

Audience: *Quiet gasps

David: If I’m not mistaken, that is the legend of a stone that can turn metal to gold or give its user eternal life?

Kelnor: That is correct.

Joy: He learned that watching harry potter last night.

David: I’m a raven claw and not ashamed of it.

Audience: *Laughs

David: So are you telling us that this will make us, say, live forever?

Kelnor: *Shakes head

Kelnor: Sadly no.

David: Well that’s a sh-

Kelnor: But it will drastically increase the lifespan of your indentured servants.

Audience: *Awkward silence

Joy: Pardon me?

Kelnor: Kelnor asks for forgiveness.

Kelnor: Human language is still a subject Kelnor is learning.

Kelnor: Kelnor believes you would call them “Pets”.

Audience: *Silence

Joy: Could you repeat that?

Kelnor: How Serum PS works is when it is injected into the body of a creature, it induces the host to begin producing more cells that are more abundant during the development stages of early life.

Kelnor: These cells normally cease production when the host reaches maturity, but with the injection the host begins to produce them again for an extended period of time.

Kelnor: Now while tests have shown that when used on human bodies the desired effect is not reached as the body cannot handle the sudden influx of new cells, your pet’s bodies can handle it as their life spans are much shorter.

Kelnor:  The shorter the original lifespan means it is easier to restart the cell production process without causing harm to the host.

Audience: *Hushed whispers

Joy: So given your tests, how far can you extend the lifespan?

Kelnor: Projections show that the pet host can reach the age of 80 human years before their bodies can no longer accept the influx of newly generated cells much like your human body can.

Joy: Well that is simply fascinating, don’t you think David?

David: How much do you want for that vial?

Joy: David?

David: I’m being totally serious, how much do you want for that vile right now?

Kelnor: Kelnor had not expected to sell so soon.

Joy: *Laughs nervously

Joy: I can tell someone’s-

David: *Snaps at Joy

David: Shut it!

David: *Turns back to Kelnor as audience members begin making some phone calls

David: My retriever Baxter is 18 years old and he’s gone blind, and you say this could make him young and see again?

Kelnor:*Thoughtfully nods

Kelnor: If the blindness was a result of age process then yes, Serum PS should reverse that as the cell influx begins.

David: I’ll wire five thousand credits to you right now for that vial.

Joy: David!

Kelnor: Kelnor had no plans to charge so much for-

Audience member: *Shouts

Audience member: I’ll triple that!

Audience member: My Mr. Snickers needs that more than his dog!

David: I’ll pay 50,000!

David: I’ll even throw in my hover car in the parking lot on top.

David: *Reaches into pocket and pulls out electric key, then shoves it into Kelnor’s tentacle.

David: Top of the line model, can go from 0 to 120 in under a minute and it’s all yours plus the money!

Kelnor: *Looking a bit nervous now; tentacles coiling around their body and the vial as Kelnor can sense the raw desire for the vial.

Kelnor: Kelnor can assure you, human David, and the other human’s watching that there is more than this vial soon to be for sale.

David: But that is the only one right now?

Kelnor: Well, yes, but-

Camera Man: *Leans around camera

Camera Man: I’ll trade you blackmail material on Joy and David for it!

Joy: What?!

Camera Man: They forget to turn off the camera drones when they go back into their dressing rooms and that footage is all yours for that there vial!

Joy: You sick son of a bitch!

Joy: I’ll have you fired and out on the street!

Camera Man: What part of “Blackmail” do you not understand?!

Camera Man: My lizard Finchy’s been acting up lately and doctors don’t know why.

Camera Man: Unless you want that footage showing up on the web you’d best get me that vial, Joy!

*Camera spins around as audience members begin walking towards set with wallets, keys, jewels, and other materialistic items of value all in an attempt to entice Kelnor for the vial.

*Camera feed cuts as several audience members begin fighting each other while David continues upping his offer to Kelnor. --------------------------------

*6 weeks and 357 trillion credits profit later

Kelnor: *Sitting with fellow researchers

Kelnor: Well……..this escalated quickly.

*Researchers all nod slowly as they sip their drinks.

Researcher Tinuk: Tinuk thinks we own another continent of the human planet after this morning’s shipment trade.  

Kelnor: We now own ALL, their continents now.

*Researchers mumble in disbelief

Researcher Nav’ra: When we were making this, Nav’ra honestly expected it to be a novelty item in gag shop on homeworld.

*Researchers collectively nod

Researcher Yuni: Agreed.

Researcher Yuni: Yuni did not think any species would care so much about lower life forms.

Kelnor: *Takes deep swig

Kelnor: Humans are not like other species.

Kelnor: *Refills glass

Kelnor: Kelnor watched elderly human female drive through line of other humans at distribution center to save their pet pig.

Kelnor: *Downs another glass

Researcher Tinuk: What is a pig?

Kelnor: *Shrugs with tentacles

Kelnor: Kelnor still does not know, but it was important enough to decease thirteen humans for in process.

[signanothername]

penny for your thoughts on dadmare and more fandom takes??

🪙

Tbh Anon you have to be a bit more specific with what fandom takes you want my opinion on cause I genuinely can’t think of any shshhshshs

But for dadmare… hmmmmmmm

It’s… I have complicated feelings about this trope

Like on one hand, I love the exploration of dadmare as a concept and would genuinely love for it to be explored in a deep meaningful way

On the other hand… the fandom never actually explores it in a deep meaningful way so everytime I come across dadmare a part of me dies inside

Like the fandom immediately settles for “tired generic dad trying to control his rowdy kids” and i’m here like :’)

Like i’d love for dadmare to actually be explored in depth, like the shift for Nightmare from being a bitch to being “dadmare” how does Nightmare deal with MTT in a dadmare way while staying true to his character

How did Nightmare develop and change and how does he feel about being “dadmare”, does he struggle to face the consequences of the abuse he put MTT through and how does he make it up to them? but like also for the love of god you can explore this trope without having MTT act like children, they’re literally +30 old men and you don’t have to infantilize them for the trope to work

Also hot take but everytime MTT call Nightmare “dad” unironically an angel loses its wings, it just ruins the vibes for me, like dadmare is a trope yet people genuinely take it too literally, which again just plays into the infantilization of adult characters

Hell, relationships aren’t one sided, how does MTT feel about Nightmare’s shift, do they trust him or do they take it as an opportunity to escape, do they hate Nightmare but warm up to him or do they not care for his change of heart

Like here’s an example, when people write dadmare, they write his ability to absorb MTT’s negativity to relieve them of their pain right? Ok cool, I LOVE THAT! What I hate tho is the fact every single person in the gang seems to “trust” Nightmare with their life and how all of them react the same way

Basically the MTT are reduced to cardboard cutouts that are literally just duplicates of each other, they all have the exact same reaction to anything Nightmare does, like you’re actually gonna sit here and tell me that Killer trusts Nightmare with his soul????? What did Nightmare do to earn that trust, and Killer isn’t a trusting person to begin with

Hell what did Nightmare do in the first place? Even when the interpretation of Nightmare is that he’s kind from the beginning and that he “saved them”, do you honestly believe that Murder would genuinely feel saved? Are you gonna tell me Horror is gonna stay and live with Nightmare by his own volition and abandon his brother where he only goes back to “visit” him? Since when has Nightmare become more important to Horror than Papyrus?

Hell since when can Murder, Killer and Horror communicate well?? Since when were they super close to each other and since when was Murder ok with Killer’s existence considering his very dangerous Determination and Chara-like nature?

Since when was Killer super emotional in stage 2 and since when was his other stages completely forgotten to fit the perfectly happy and healthy family that the fandom is trying to force onto these obviously unhealthy characters with unhealthy relationships and destructive behaviors

Like don’t get me wrong, people are obviously allowed to explore their fave characters however they like, but my point is, I can’t enjoy the trope of Dadmare even tho i want to, cause the fandom just settles for very straight forward answers to every problem, every little problem is immediately resolved with a snap of a finger

Everything is happy and rainbows and roses and any problems the MTT have they just go to dadmare and suddenly they’re no longer self destructive cause dadmare immediately saves them cause he always has the answer!!!

And i’m here still waiting for an interpretation of dadmare that actually pulls me in and actually interests me like

[riizebabie444]

𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧 🌸

pile one

a new relationship, not necassarily romantic. it could be a friend or a work colleague. becoming closer with a family member. potentially a blossoming romance. you will find yourselves int he early stages of this new relationship.

so for some of you, you could find yourselves in a situation where you or another is abusing their power, or letting emotions rule over kindness and logic. alternatively, it could be that you are shying away from a leadership opportunity.

you could find yourself as someone or with someone who is clingier than expected, someone who doesn't necassarily feel good to be around. it is of utmost importance to prioritise yourself and your self-care over pleasing this person.

you could be welcoming a spiritual, or even religious, awakening. you are aligning your beliefs with your way of life.

an increase of wealth or financial opportunity may find its way towards you this summer. it could come in the form of a gift or as a new job. something with financial value will come to you.

the inevitable confrontation of your darker side. your bad habits, tendencies and mindset will be challenged. you will learn how you are holding yourself back and begin to better yourself against your shadow traits,

you will be introduced to changes which will help you break free from cycles you no longer wish to be a part of.

an opportunity for learning. if you have applied for a school or university, a scholarship or grant to support your education, good news regarding these will come for you. if you are working, it will likely come in the form of training to level up your skills and perhaps ready you for a promotion.

overall, this summer has a lot of self-development and growth in store for you, pile one!

cards: ace of cups, the emporer rv, queen of cups rv, the hierophant, king of pentacles, the devil, four of cups, page of pentacles

pile two

you will experience luck and success in the areas you want/need it most. i see it will all be a result of your hard work up until you achieve it.

material success is also on its way. if you have been expecting or applied for money, it seems there will be a positive result. it could also be unexpected or come in an unexected form.

you will have more freedom this summer, take this how you will it is different for everyone. but i see it will be a more free summer compared to summers you've had in the past. you will have fewer restraints.

you will have a stronger mind and be able to make rational and logical decisions. you could be enforcing more structure in your life, saying goodbye to lazy or negative behaviour.

self-confidence is on its way. you'll also find some more independence in your life, sort of growing up or out of an old phase where you relied heavily on others. as you "grow up" you will also grow more confident.

i see hard work so you may find dedication and determination coming to you and your summer will consist largely of you working on this project, or something you have been working hard for will be achieved.

despite the dedication to this work, i see this summer you will have lots of time left for your own thoughts. you'll have a lot of time to think and reflect on your life and desires. and also time to just daydream.

even when things get difficult, you will find yourself standing strong. by the end of the summer, you will see yourself as brave and courageous, you will have a stronger mentality.

overall pile two, it seems like you guys will be more independent and free this summer, taking control over your routine and life.

cards: ace of wands, king of pentacles, the devil, king of swords, queen of wands, knight of pentacles, the hermit, nine of wands

ʚɞ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

© riizebabie444 — all rights reserved. please do not copy, steal, repost or translate my readings on any site. any act of which will be classed as plagiarism.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

lilia and uncle iroh

“Leaves from the vine, falling so slow… Like fragile, tiny shells drifting in the foam. Little soldier boy comes marching home… Brave soldier boy comes marching home.”

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how similar Lilia and Iroh’s character development is 🤔 At a surface level, they’re both the wise mentor types that guide their somewhat misguided or naive pupils—but the parallels run even deeper than that!! I wanted to go over those in this post; maybe it would help us appreciate how far Lilia has come on his own merits ever since his war general days.

***Spoilers for book 7 of TWST and Avatar the Last Airbender (only the animated series, not other ATLA materials)!!***

To begin, let's set the stage for the character we'll be comparing Lilia to: Iroh. The show Avatar the Last Airbender takes place in a heavily Asian inspired world where some have the ability to bend an element: earth, water, fire, or air. At present, the Fire Nation has been waging a 100 years long war on the other nations in an imperialistic bid for power. Iroh, while presented as a kind and peaceful old man in modern day, was once a leading general for the Fire Nation. He was an active warmonger and, as the eldest son of the Fire Lord, set to inherit the throne, and the legacy of bloodshed and violence that came with it. Notably, even during his days as a general, Iroh still came off as mild-mannered and had a sense of humor (joking about how magnificent Ba Sing Se is, but saying that his niece and nephew may not get to see it because he might just burn it to the ground first). Iroh is also characterized as being more kind and forgiving than his younger brother Ozai, as he lied about slaying the last dragons to allow them to go into hiding and prevent people from hunting them into extinction. His personality still persists during all of this time. The event that would shake Iroh's life and serve as the impetus for turning his back on the war efforts was at the siege of Ba Sing Se, a city known for its impenetrable walls. There, Iroh managed to breech the Outer Wall and fully intended to finally conquer the city thought to be unconquerable--until he tragically lost his one and only son, Lu Ten, on the front lines. This destroyed Iroh's fighting spirit, causing him to abandon the siege and branding him a failure and a coward in the eyes of his family members.

When Iroh's father passed away under mysterious circumstances, it was his younger brother Ozai who was named as the successor. Iroh had lost the will to fight for his birthright, as he was still grieving for his son. Instead, a disillusioned Iroh left his role in the military and politics to embark on a worldly journey, visiting multiple other nations and learning from their unique cultures. At first, he was filled with great shame at his "failure" to become the Fire Lord--but with time, Iroh realized that avoiding his ascension to the throne was actually a stroke of good fortune. He turned away from the aggression and imperialism of his home country and began seeing the value in peace and balance in all things. Later on, Iroh would serve as a vital mentor and father figure to his nephew and Ozai's son, Zuko, who was banished from home and sent to capture the one person who could stop their victory in the war: the Avatar. Having been disgraced and practically renounced by his own father, Zuko had very few people left to turn to. It was his Uncle Iroh who accepted him with open arms and tried to support him through these difficult times. On their hunt, Zuko is very clearly still in a dark place, constantly insisting that he "needs to capture the Avatar" and that he needs to "regain his honor". Meanwhile, Iroh does what he can to calm his nephew and pass on wise words, extoling the virtues of peace and recognizing the importance of other nations. He urges Zuko to seek inner peace and to determine his own destiny, rather than act out a destiny that someone else has decided for him. We later learn that Iroh sees Zuko as his own son ever since he lost Lu Ten to the war, and we see this compassion and care similarly reflected in how he treats everyone around him. Rarely does Iroh ever express anger or hatred, not even when faced with men intent on harming him. One notable example of this is when a robber demands all of his money, and all Iroh does is disarm him and correct his weak stance. They then sit down, have tea, and talk about the robber's future prospects. This segment infamously comes from Iroh's segment in the episode Tales of Ba Sing Se, in which he's living in the city he once laid siege to as a refugee of war. In it, Iroh goes about his day giving helpful advice to the various people he comes across. This all culminates in the penultimate moment where he scales a hill outside the city and prepares a memorial in honor of Lu Ten. "Happy birthday, my son. If only I could have helped you too." These lines completely recontexualize everything Iroh has been doing up until this point in the series. Literally everything he does and says comes, in part, from the guilt he feels for the part he played in the war and the countless people scarred by it, including himself and his own family. He saw it happen to Lu Ten, and he fears it happening to Zuko and the numerous others touched by the horrors of war. After all, war and hatred do not discriminate. Everyone is affected by it, and Iroh is now wise enough to understand that and to wish for no one to go down the same dark path he once was. ... But hey, this is mostly meant to be a Twisted Wonderland post, so let's finally get to how any of this is relevant to Lilia.

Like Iroh, Lilia was a general to his country's military during a war. In Lilia's case, they were on the losing side, as fae were greatly outnumbered by humans and repulsed by the iron human soldiers wore in combat. The fae weren't the aggressors, but rather people who were trying to defend their territory and resources from invading humans who were tearing apart nature. From what we've observed of him in his book 7 dreamscape, the Lilia of the past is different from what we know now. He maintains his teasing humor and love of surprises, but comes off as gruff and closed off, acting suspicious of others and rejects the idea of wanting or having children. Most shockingly of all though, Lilia states that he has no interest in going to Night Raven College or really engaging with other races. This is a huge departure from modern day Lilia, who encourages his dorm members (most notably Malleus and Sebek) to go out of their comfort zones and to make efforts to understand their peers. He is also known for instilling in Silver a desire to unite people of all races (something which Silver explains to the pixies in Fairy Gala: If). Lilia even uses his wish during the Star Sending to wish for a peaceful world where everyone can live in harmony. He made LARGE strides in his worldview in the hundreds of years between then and now. It's important to note that Lilia often travels and talks about how much the world has changed. This, I assume, would lend to his knowledge and acceptance of many different races and cultures, similar to how Iroh's travels imparted knowledge and appreciation in him. Given how abrasive Lilia was during the war era (plus his refusal to consider other races), I'd surmise his travels started after the war ended.

All that's missing now is the impetus for Lilia's change in behavior: the Lu Ten to Iroh, so to speak. For Lilia, I think it's actually a compounding of many factors: firstly, his best friend (and Malleus's father) Levan, the messenger sent to an enemy fortress goes missing. Secondly, we can infer that his princess Meleanor (and Malleus's mother) must have been killed by humans (as Malleus says in modern day that his only living relative is his mother, and we are currently on a book 7 cliffhanger knowing that humans have ambushed the castle where she is staying)... leaving Lilia to pick up the pieces of a war-ravaged country and with an egg that has yet to hatch. I think it’s safe to say though that Lilia probably felt immense guilt at Malleus, still unborn, having to be raised without parents, by someone who doesn’t understand parental love himself—and perhaps Lilia took up that mantle to atone for being unable to protect them. It was also, after all, Meleanor’s wish that Lilia protect her son and ensure he hatch in her stead if something horrible befell her. Maybe, in another way, you could say that Lilia eventually wants to avoid war so that no one has to suffer such cruel, unnecessary loss as Malleus, Silver, or he did ever again.

Then we also learn that Lilia started raising Silver because he wishes to understand humans—a sentiment that Levan expressed to his friend. It was also Levan that kept the NRC invitation letter safe for Lilia, an implication to reconsider. And so Lilia willingly raises child of a sworn enemy, the Dawn Knight. We see how Silver in particular softens Lilia and changes his worldview and, most notably, Silver so innocently wished his father good health with an acorn amulet. That amulet would become Lilia’s most prized possession, and he kept it all these years later despite the acorns losing their freshness. It’s in raising Silver that Lilia recognizes and learns to appreciate the fragility that is human life and hardens his resolve to defend what he once deemed relatively unimportant.

In Lilia's case, his impetus comes from the guilt of not being there at the crucial moment to protect his sovereign--and later down the line, from the disillusionment of knowing that he had a part in escalating the conflict that would ultimately harm humans and fae alike. This may be whey he so readily adopts a policy of peace and acceptance of other races when we see in at NRC. Not only that, but it was the first person he lost, Levan, that encouraged Lilia to open his heart to other races. His enlightening travels, his experiences with raising children who are innocent and rely on him for survival, and the guilt setting in all feed into Lilia's change of heart, his desire to not see history repeat itself, and his vision of world peace. That's why he's so keen to instill these same values into those he mentors: because he knows that, someday, he won't be here anymore to spread them. While he's still around, he wants Malleus, Sebek, and Silver to carry on his legacy, to make his dream a reality.

Truthfully, Lilia could have easily gotten mad. He could have closed himself off. He could have become hateful and sought revenge. He could have blamed humans for what they took from him. It speaks immensely to his strength as an individual that he didn't, and that he instead learned from his mistakes to ensure they don't happen again. Lilia still very much has pride in his home country and its royal family. However, the difference now is that he has opened himself up to other sources, seeing that there is something wonderful in every corner and facet of the world.

Both Iroh and Lilia are wise, loving mentor characters who have developed in their own ways far before the main show/story events begin to pan out. One might even argue their development is "already finished" long before the other characters even start on theirs, which puts them in a good position to lead others. Age grants them the edge of knowledge and being able to impart that onto the younger generation, not only to avoid imminent disaster, but to create a better world for all.

[ovenstavern]

oh. my. goodness. its like 3am in my area and i just finished a nightlong binge on the manhwa, Secret Alliance by Creator Lero. if i had to put it into a genre, i’d say its a psychological thriller, and…

ho. ly. shit.

i was never a visual novel or “comics” person, but holy fuck. this blew me away. i discovered a tik tok about it, with the nutshell plot of “stalker crossdresses as a girl to stalk his object of attraction, who is afraid of men” and quickly gained an interest. but as i read further into the manhwa, it was so much more than that.

before i get into the details, i warn that the manhwa has dark topics such as stalking, obsession, attempted suicide, assault, sexual harassment, and trauma. the ramble (and spoilers) is gonna be below the cut. stay safe and healthy yall

okay. ho. ly. shit.

so, i don’t even know where to begin. the first few chapters introduce our main characters, eun sian and chae “yuri”. right off the bat, you quickly realize eun sian’s intense fear of men. you can already tell that she has some trauma with men, and as you continue to read, you find that her paranoid mother perpetuates and reinforces that fear; a helicopter parent to the extreme.

not only that, you can immediately detect that something isnt quite right with chae yuri (even before it was revealed he was a guy).

i dont really wanna explain the whole story in its entirety, as i believe its a story best experienced. but what i will go into is the amount of love that was poured into this story. it still astounds me

the characters are complex, and their personalities and actions are deeply rooted in the trauma that they went through. eun sian and chae yuri’s relationship is so toxic and wrought with manipulation and co-dependent, and it was written so well. it beautifully illustrates how two people that come from two different, but toxic households often can find themselves in a toxic relationship for the both of them, as they have no other reference for love.

and speaking of relationships, yujin’s and eun sian’s relationship makes me want to squeal and giggle and they’re just so cute!! i loveee at the beginning, yujin subverts our expectations and ends up being a playboy who loves the feeling of being wanted. it gives him sm room for development, and makes his relationship with eun sian so much sweeter.

yujin and eun sian make a deal that he helps her get over her fear of men, while eun sian helps yunjin get together with chae yuri. in the earliest stages of their relationship, you can tell that yujin was able to ground eun sian and reassure her when needed. even beneath his playboy exterior, his caring nature shone through, especially for her. meanwhile, eun sian makes yujin want to be better for her (and if you seen a very old post, you know how i feel about that). i loved their friendship at the beginning, and i loved their romance at the end. they’re so healthy for each other and im glad they got together in the end

and speaking of the ending?????? sjdkdndkddjjdksjdsknsnz. i loved it so. much. it was just so fulfilling. i won’t spoil it, but it touched my soul to its very core, and i couldnt think of a more satisfying note to leave it off of.

the depiction of trauma felt very realistic and well written too. eun sian’s breakdowns felt so well done, and not once did it feel like the story was calling her “crazy” or “hysterical” even if other characters told her that she was. and actually, all the relationships felt so realistic, its astounding.

and the character development was so… empowering. it was amazing to watch the moments eun sian take back the parts of herself that her abusers took, it was amazing to watch yujin transform from a playboy to a golden retriever boyfriend. i just… love love love!!

i do wish they delved into yujin’s backstory a lil more, gave hyunee (the best friend) a more influential role, and did some more with yunjin’s blackmail when he found out about chae yuri, but all in all, i loved it. i started reading at 11, and kept reading til 3. its an absolute page turner, and extreme kudos to the artist(s) and writer(s)! you have my respect

to those who want to read it, the sites i read the manhwa either has a subscription service, or an insane amount of porn ads and porn pop up browser tabs. just for viewer discretion. if it sounds like yall can deal, please read! you won’t regret it. ill definitely be revisiting this manhwa again and again. its that good

have a wonderful day yall! im finally gonna get some sleep

[hollow-dweller]

5-10 🤭

it's always you at the scene of the crime

5. worst discord server and why

the answer to this is actually not in spidey, it's this one klance server i was in back in ye old voltron days that was absolutely horrible to exist in as an Allura lover/Allurance shipper. when she died, and klance didn't become canon (because it was never going to), things got nasty and i will freely admit i am still bitter about it! nothing made me dislike klance faster or more thoroughly than klance fans.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

anyone with a Tony Stark ship, really, though obviously the one I see the most nonsense from is irondad. Tony fans are, 90% of the time, there for Tony, and really focus on him to the exclusion of any of the other characters, including the one that he is partnered/shipped with. as someone who writes for and interacts with irondad because i love both Tony and Peter, who wants to explore them and their extended universes, it fucking sucks to have to wade through post after post that grossly misrepresents or misinterprets Tony, and treats Peter as a prop more than a character.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

having said the above: Tony Stark you will always be famous! none of these people who pretend you're a soft uwu dad who's never done anything wrong could make me hate you, because that's NOT you!

i don't know there are any characters i "hate" per se, but certainly there are ones i will AVOID because the fandom is so terrible. in Spidey, though he's not a Spidey character, that's Harley Keener. i have zero feelings toward his canon character because he was a child and then an easter egg, and basically has no canon character. but i will avoid him at all costs in fic/tumblr tags, because his fans use him to completely supplant and erase actual Spider-Man characters, like Ned and MJ and Flash.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

MJ WATSON WOULD NOT WORSHIP PEPPER POTTS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

MJ "i want to get a little light protesting in before lunch" Watson, MJ "so really this is all your fault" Watson, MJ "i don't want to tour a building made by slaves" Watson would NOT be falling over herself to talk about how "cool" Pepper Potts is.

fandom loves to drop MJ into interactions with Tony where she's snarky and rude and makes "eat the rich" jokes. but then they'll turn around and also make her look up to Pepper as a girl boss.

and it's because people's aren't representing her as anti-billionaire or anti-establishment as a genuine reflection on her character and how she might behave meeting Tony Stark or Pepper Potts. she's an audience avatar to spout a couple memes and jokes, then is unceremoniously shuffled off stage left so that Tony and Peter can cuddle on the couch or whatever. it's about making Tony look cool and chill for "putting up" with her, and to make Peter embarrassed so that Tony can reassure him.

9. worst part of canon

Far From Home, beloathed. its sins are innumerable but to sum them up in as concise of terms as possible: it represents so much wasted potential. we could have had post-blip meta! we could have had the FOS as more than a joke! we could have had actual development of the petermj relationship! and yes we could have had an actual examination of the impact of Tony Stark and his legacy on Peter and his life!

WE COULD HAVE HAD MAY PARKER

instead we got a kidz bop european road trip movie and only head fakes to anything deeper going on between any of the characters

10. worst part of fanon

here's the thing: the idea of a community of people coming together to collaboratively fill in the blanks of a piece of art is, conceptually, beautiful, and exactly what fandom should be about. doing collaborative, generative creative work is genuinely valuable, and an important part of community building in creative spaces.

but the relationship that people have to fanon, is, frankly, completely fucking whack. modern fandom doesn't use fanon to generate collaborative and creative elaborations, variations, and interpretations of canon: they use it to supplant canon. popular fanon goes beyond being just an idea that a lot of people like; it starts being treated as law. people start interpreting canon through the lens of fanon, and in doing so treat the canonical text not as a work of art that deserves consideration and interpretation, but as a static and authoritative source whose purpose is to be excavated for "proof" of fanon, and anything that exists outside of fanon or in opposition to it is to be dismissed, ignored, and denied.

there are plenty of people who will happily admit they don't pay attention to canon and prefer fanon, and while that isn't my preferred way to engage with art, i have way less of a problem with that. people who engage with the original work through a fanon lens first, in an attempt to "prove" fanon, aren't seeking alternative interpretations or elaborating on the art. they're not even picking and choosing the things they like and the things they don't. what they are doing is working backwards from a foregone conclusion to pretend like art has one fixed, immutable interpretation, and that interpretation is the only correct or acceptable one.

the only proof you need of this tendency is the way people lose their fucking minds when you question popular fanon, or, god forbid, point out how it is directly contradicted or disproven by canon. it's a shitty way to engage with fandom as a community, and it's a shitty way to engage with art, and i have no patience for it.

choose violence ask game

[corellianhounds]

Go on. Be free. Give us the commentary ⭐️

So I decided to go with a self-contained one-shot and chose Nightfall

(Summary for the story is a revised look at how Grogu was rescued during Order 66, and those events being what spurred him to heal somebody for the first time)

Spoilers below!

To begin with, the title Nightfall is a play on Operation Knightfall, the attack on the Jedi Temple during Order 66, giving the audience the setting. Order 66 happens in the evening, and one of the things I look for when writing any character (but here especially children) is what they’re afraid of; kids aren’t just afraid of the dark, but the danger they believe is lurking in the dark.

So the idea for the story came from the question “What would have compelled the child to display a rarely-found Force power like healing for the first time?” Healing another person’s injury is already a step beyond the child’s typical developmental years; children his age don’t typically know how to successfully help an injured person because they wouldn’t have the means, life experience, or awareness to do so. Children are meant to be taken care of. The fact the child is fifty in The Mandalorian means he would have been about twenty during Order 66; if we estimate by Yoda being 900 when he dies to mean he’s the equivalent of about ninety in human years, it would mean their species ages one-tenth of the rate we do— The child is about toddler-aged in the show but even if we round his fifty years up to about five years old, it still puts him at about two years old at the Temple. We know Force-sensitive children were found at very young ages and brought to the temple for training, but those formative years were going to be largely spent simply raising them. The child would have been taken care of and unlikely to be subjected to any rigorous training or even beginner’s combat

Which means it’s incredibly unlikely he would have been around anybody who sustained significant injuries of their own. Taking care of somebody else is a developmental stage that only comes after we’ve grown to the point of being able to take care of ourselves, and then developed the understanding that there are other people younger/less able than us who could use our help. The most he would have seen would have been initiates and padawans scuffed from training, or adults in passing who were already on their way to the infirmaries or healing halls. Neither of those are dire enough scenarios to prompt that level of effort from him

So naturally, what significant event could have happened in Grogu’s young life that would have not only exposed him to gravely injured people, but compelled him to help them?

One of the reasons for changing the child’s escape from what’s seen in TBoBF and Mando Season 3 is that I’ve always thought the depictions of the attack on the temple don’t really get into the viciousness of the attack, especially regarding the children. Obvs Lucas didn’t want RotS to have an R-rating and Disney+ isn’t going to focus on a bunch of kids getting gunned down, but I was dissatisfied in how the attack was shot in the Kenobi show especially since its depiction there was focused on the kids. Between Kenobi, RotS, and S3 of Mando I think the scenes of the Temple could have done a better job showing the urgency, chaos, and danger of what was happening on ground level. The Jedi are completely caught off guard and it’s utter chaos as they try and fail to escape. Part of writing Nightfall was to make the danger less of a bird’s eye view and more of a first person POV so the danger is a lot closer and more visceral. I toned down the initial scene of Grogu being carried by the older boy as the children try to flee because I do try to keep within the tone of whatever source material I’m writing from, but it could have honestly been a lot darker. I may go back and add to it at some point.

Grogu noticing and recognizing Anakin comes from a longer criticism I have of the flashback being used in TBoBF and how it was done with Luke: there doesn’t seem like there’s a reason to make the kid relive that memory if Luke wasn’t also going to see it. It has no bearing on the rest of Grogu’s training or Luke making him choose between two parts of his life, identity, and who he considers to be his family.

What would it have been like if Luke “Famously Not Attached to His Own Father” Skywalker had seen Knightfall, led by his own father, from the perspective of a child that night? How would Luke have been affected seeing Anakin himself killing dozens of children? What conflict does that introduce in Luke? How does it affect his relationship with Ahsoka and what she says about Anakin? What story elements could have been explored if the writers had actually thought about the implications of what they included in the show?

That story couldn’t be told in The Book of Boba Fett not only because there wasn’t time, but because Luke shouldn’t have been included in the first place because he draws too much attention away from the main characters of the shows he shows up in. I already don’t think Luke should have been included at all, and I think the way he was was done poorly. At that point just cut him out and streamline your story without tying it to a pillar of the original source material because you’re not even including him in a meaningful way when you do

I had Grogu seeing Anakin as more wraith-like and less like a man, alluding to the descriptions I’ve seen of Sith being more like creatures once they’ve lost that humanity, and when I initially wrote the first draft of it I had written Anakin with a red saber. The exact wording I had was “a bloodshine blade,” which I really like the sound of, and for a moment I considered keeping it red anyway since it was already an AU of canon, completely forgetting the entire part of the original trilogy where Luke was given Anakin’s lightsaber 😆😅 My compromise to keeping it blue was that I was able to describe it as “a sky-blue blade,” instead, the description a nod to Anakin’s last name, which I still find narratively satisfying in a different way

(It also left room for me to note the color of Grogu’s blanket being red like it is in the show, something I think ties him to the flashbacks Din has of his childhood where he and his people are wearing red robes)

I really did and do love Kelleran Beq’s character. His entrance and actions were so strong and heroic and I knew I was going to keep him as the one who rescued Grogu from the temple, and I wanted to focus more on him as a person and cut out the speeder chase to the rendezvous because I didn’t feel like those were necessary. I wanted to strike the balance between somebody lethally efficient with a blade and still careful and capable enough he could fight one-handed while cradling a child. He and Din are mirrors of each other in that way, and I wanted Beq’s steadiness and resolve under incredible duress to be the haven Grogu clung to in the storm. It’s a dichotomy I really admire in the warrior hero types and I enjoyed getting the chance to write it

(This may seem like a crass thing to note, but I found as I was writing that “Master Beq” didn’t… sound right 😅 I changed it to Master Kelleran and used Beq or his title on its own in other areas to keep it from being repetitive. Pro tip for writers: See what your writing sounds like when read out loud and you’ll find the edits to make your story read and sound smoother as a result.)

I also wanted to change the first thing Kelleran says to the boy because the line “Everything’s gonna be alright, kid,” is… patently false, given the circumstances. Even if he and Grogu escape unharmed, Grogu knows objectively that everything is not okay and will never be the same again. Having Kelleran say “I’ve got you, child. We’re going to get out of here.” is confident, truthful, reassuring, and gives Grogu an understanding of their objective. Kelleran isn’t staying to continue fighting the clones— He’s there to get Grogu to safety.

Following that with the brief moment he has mourning the fallen padawan who’d carried Grogu that far was important to show that dichotomy again, the sorrow and tenderness of a master seeing another life cut short but still owed the acknowledgement of their death paired with the understanding and clear mind of someone who keeps their cool in the heat of battle and unforeseen betrayal. I wanted to be sure to capture how adaptable and adept Kelleran was; Grogu needed a sense of hope in the most chaotic and heartbreaking time of his young life

I’d had the visual of a Jedi master or student choosing to leap from the temple towers out and down to the Coruscant cityscape below for a while, and I figured there was no time like the present. It stands out to me for a number of reasons, and I like the contrast of Grogu being held to his protector’s shoulder as they escape in a controlled fall, versus Din as a child being held to his protector’s shoulder as they fly upward to safety. I specifically had Beq tell Grogu “Hold onto me,” because I also imagine that to be the second thing Din’s rescuer said to him as he picked him up and they flew away.

When referencing the Force I tend to use terms that refer to the ocean because I write it as a force of nature. No one can command the depth and breadth of the ocean no matter how hard they try; staying near land and near others on the shore is the light side of the Force since you are in a place where your ventures into the sea are still able to remain under your control, provided you have the right understanding and techniques, and it means you are capable of seeing the bottom and reaching those who are drowning or lost at sea. To me the dark side of the Force is the temptation of more power the farther out you go. The dark side promises immense power, but it’s easy to be swept up in the current and pulled out far beyond your reach and understanding. By the time you realize you’ve succumbed to temptation by taking small steps further and further out into the water, it may be too late to escape (Unless somebody is able to reach you with a lifeline and pull you back in). The phrases “a tidal wave of force,” “waves of sorrow and grief ebbing like the tide,” a hurricane, “a harbor in the storm,” and describing Grogu’s instinct to heal like “a fish knowing how to swim” were all done purposefully in the scenes where Beq and Grogu use the Force (even in the background).

Beq having a laceration on his arm is meant to parallel the one Din has in Season 1, episode 2 when the child tries to heal him for the first time.

The phrasing “fate’s design changed just enough” is a nod to the song Rapunzel sings in Tangled when she heals somebody:

“Heal what has been hurt;

Change the Fates’ design;

Save what has been lost;

Bring back what once was mine.”

And I think that’s all the big points! Thanks for letting me ramble! 💕

Director’s Cut Ask Game

[joytraveler]

#36: Planet Of Pisces

"Okay, Pisces Playhouse, let's go- ooh look my character's a COOL DUDE! And I'm a firm believer that having cool sunglasses can help you save the universe, which is why I'm going to wear them this episode"

This game-- unlike any other so far-- has an intro! A blue spaceship soars through a sky full of stars, and inside, a boy with a red fauxhawk peers through the window unsurely as his burly, silver-haired father drives with a smile of confidence.

Syrupentine: Santa And Son!

[My father founded the Pisces project.]

[He created the machines that would convert this barren planet into a new Earth, and left them here.]

The screen switches back to the exterior of their ship, which is now skimming over the surface of a lush, green planet.

CRACK! Suddenly, a silver tentacle grabs the ship right out of the air!

aroseahorseboy: AAH FUCK JUMP SCARE

[They have been waiting for us to come back.]

The Planet Of Pisces logo, a pair of splashing blue fish, appears over the scene, as smoke from the crashed spaceship rises into the sky.

aroseahorseboy: Told you the last one was always the best, Bea

"I can't see anything- OH!" She removes her sunglasses just in time. "Daaang, ok I dunno if anyone ever played Xardion but this is what this makes me think of"

Bee52: cool I hope you get to play a robot cat!

When Bea starts the game, sprites of the father and son are standing outside the wrecked spaceship. The father is speaking.

[I'm going to the CPU to find out what went wrong. I'll be back by nightfall. Glem, you stay here and don't go anywhere!]

He walks off screen and the boy sits down next to the ship-- and the sun sets, the moon comes out, the sun rises again. The boy stands up and puts on those cool sunglasses from the title screen.

[I gotta find Dad!]

aroseahorseboy: it's like the Odyssey, gotta find your father Klickitat_Street: "Glem"???

"Glem! From the game over thing?" Bea tries moving around. "I think I've heard of you and uh, it's nice to meet you in person! I dunno, should I tell him?"

DueyDecimal: i thought that was just a glitch! Maybe it comes from this game?

The game begins-- Glem can run and jump, and he's armed with a blue frisbee(?). But this frisbee returns to him like a yo-yo, bounces off walls and ricochets, and if Bea times it right, he can fly on it like a hover board!

"You can't tell but the control is tight, but you can see the sprite animations in this look better, some of these games have been good but I'm already feeling like this one's gonna be special"

This game is DEEP, with every stage introducing a new mechanic that becomes part of your repertoire of moves-- soon Glem is sledding down spikes with his Discus (as it turns out to be called) serving as a sled, pulling off amazing ricochet shots that bring hovering bad guys down to use as stepping stones, and more!

When Bea pauses for a snack, even the pause screen shows a map of the world, and an enemy encyclopedia! The most common enemy in this game is a bat-winged frog creature called a Hopteran, which can fly, swim, or (true to its name) hop; the most frustrating one is the Angul, which appears to be a winged angel made of glowing neon, and always appears to hunt Glem down at seemingly the worst times!

HNV: God, this game reminds me of the first time I ever played Super Mario 3. aroseahorseboy: its more like dkc but yeah! Max_Force: I'm going to be a dad in eight weeks, you guys... I hope there are still games like this when my daughter gets old enough to play.

Bea has been quiet, as she gets when she gets really into a game. "If you're out there, Mr. Or Ms. Joy Traveler development person, please just let me know who you are so I can credit you somehow because this is a gem hidden in a pile of.. Uh well its the best looking game so far lets keep it at that!"

By the time she gets to the last boss-- four and a half hours later-- the adventure has taken her from rolling green hills, to a parched desert, to dripping, foggy cliffs, and finally into this wild technological slime mold explosion, where the machines sprout up from the ground and attack, monitors spontaneously grow out of the walls and blare warnings, and her old friend Angul could be waiting around any corner. She's fought robots, biological hazards, and even what looked like a giant blob of blood gelatin-- but the end of Planet of Pisces is near.

"Okay so this has gone way, WAY overtime but I think I'm near the end here folks, at least I hope so. I would almost say that if you ever find one of these systems, it's almost worth getting just for this one"

aroseahorseboy: hands up if you ordered one while you were watching those! Bee52: me berd_snurglar: you can order these??? Syrupentine: I hope Glem's dad is OK. :( aroseahorseboy: I hope he's not the final boss Bee52: bite your tongue!!!

"Look, I'm not proud of the way I got this, okay? I had to pry it out of the cold dead hands of a little orphan girl and then I had to suck a whole lot of di- I got it off eBay for like 30 bucks. He said he played a few games and decided it sucked. So if you're out there, hit me up for uh, a free t-shirt"

Syrupentine: I'm a Little dead orphan girl, where's my free T-shirt HNV: Dead T-shirt contest, wooooo

"I dunno guys I feel like the dad usually dies in things like these but we'll see, hang on time, gonna farm these spidery things for health real quick and then it's on to the boss..."

She stands before the boss door, readying herself for anything.

Behind the final door is... what looks like a garage, filled with those robots that were attacking, except now they're building a spaceship identical to the one that you came here in. Directing them is – Glem's dad!

"Sure, sure, just do this to me, thats fine. You called it, AroSeahorseBoy. This is gonna be like a Wily fight but really sad isn't it!"

aroseahorseboy: aw, I didn't have to bite my tongue Syrupentine: Aro is so smart, S-M-R-T

Dad sees him and jumps down from the balcony he's on. ["Glem! I told you to stay where you were!"] He takes one step forward and freezes. All the robots stop and look at him. ["YOU CAN NEVER JUST DO AS YOU'RE TOLD."] Dad suddenly rises into the air-- and begins to glow as he changes. He's a Angul! And from the looks of things, the king of them all!

"OK THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT" shouts Bea while frantically dodging attacks. Of course this is the kind of boss you have to learn the attack patterns of, no matter how much you've powered up. In the end it's come down to raw skill.

"Dad why?? Were you one of them all along? Or not? Or am I, Glem, also an Angul?? Should I try to focus on not dying instead of theorizing right now, OW there goes a third of my health"

The worst part is, no matter what you throw at him, Dad isn't taking ANY damage! In fact, the only thing that makes him pause, as far as you can tell-- is when you accidentally destroy one of the robot drones that's busily building the ship in the background. That makes Dad MAD.

aroseahorseboy: it's a meta boss, great THAT means he has another form berd_snurglar: Aro stop trying to be smart, we already believe you

"Hey daaad, I'm messing up all your cool expensive robots! MMph, yeah, I'm gonna spray paint bad words all over your cool space ship, too!" She takes out another worker bot. "You spat all over my dream of being a world champion CD thrower and now you're gonna pay for it!"

The robots do rebuild themselves after a short time, but when she knocks them all out at once, the fight changes. Dad lands-- and seems to deflate, all the neon and metal flying away and entering the ship!

Dad stands up, looking weak. ["Glem... It's the CPU. It--he--wants to get back to Earth!"]

The ship shudders and begins to collapse-- no, it's changing. The worker robots are reabsorbed as it changes and expands, becoming... What exactly? Ah, of course-- a giant mechanical dragon.

HNV: DUDE TaichoSenseiKun: I want one!

"ME TOO!" Bea's so impressed with the design she barely jumps over the huge, electrified fireball headed her way, the first of many! "Aaaaaah jeez welcome to BULLET HELL, I see! Fuckfuckfuck, string of obscenities!!!"

This takes all her skills and she has to invent some new ones! She can use the snowboard technique to surf over those electric balls, but it's still a bear getting him down, because only one of his heads is vulnerable at any time, and he may have as many as five!

"Aright if you do the ricochet throw it's a little easier to hit him, but you have to get it pixel perfect! And so Herculass (that's me) vanquishes the mighty hydra, at the expense of her damn thumbs but I do if for you guys!" She slips between a rain of laser fire, every move counts and she's gotta think fast, but as the boss starts to flash red, it seems the end may be nigh.

NormalNancy: YOU GOT THIS BEA YOU GOT IT Syrupentine: Iwata-san, lend Bea your power from heaven

"Dude too soon. Ugh doesn't matter its ALWAYS gonna be too soon"

Syrupentine: I was sincere. :(

Whether through her own skill or divine intervention... It works! BOOOM, down goes the dragon in a shower of bubbly explosions, all three heads twisting and screaming!

NormalNancy: YOU DID IT MaxForce: Planet of FUCK YEAH! berd_snurglar: how you gonna get home now, there went your ship

"Am I done? I'm just.. I can't.." Suddenly it all catches up with Bea, she hasn't been this into a game in a while! "I'd give a big victory scream but I don't think I have in meOOOOOOOOOOH IN YOUR FACES, ALL FIVE OF THEM ASSHOLE!"

Glem's father comes up-- it's strange, how strong and burly he looked at the beginning of the game, and how Glem seems to tower over him now.

["You've actually beaten 6R316-UE... Son, I don't know what to say!"] The wreckage of the dragon rumbles. ["CALL ME BY MY NAME... DAD."]

Suddenly the same neon and metal cloud rises from the dragon's heap-- and flies right into Glem!

"Aww.. Maybe his dad really just wanted to- OH NO!"

["Glem! No!"]

As Glem falls to the ground, his father grabs the Discus and tosses it into the air-- where it becomes another cloud and pursues the first into Glem!

"I... I don't know whats happening? Did I do something wrong? Is there more??" She tries tapping the buttons lightly, bracing herself for another boss fight

A new stage starts-- and it's not like any other stage in the game. It's sort of like Tron and sort of like Bomberman; a high-speed chase through Glem's own brain, where you have to use the blue bombs to block off the silver dragon-headed tapeworms and force them to destroy themselves!

DueyDecimal: TAPEWORMS! In this game?? berd_snurglar: it's more likely than you think

"WHAT IS HAPPENING WHERE ARE WE WHY ARE WE WHAT ARE WE DOING?!" Bea says, desperately trying to adapt to the new play style! Suddenly the old rules don't apply! "I'm developing an abusive relationship with this device, in that I think its amazing and wonderful and wants to make me suffer"

Every time she lands a hit on one of the dragons, a text box appears, and some of the dialogue seems a bit familiar.

[MY NAME IS NOT 6R316-UE.] [MY NAME IS GREIGUE.] [BUT IT COULD JUST AS WELL BE GLEM.] [OUR FATHER NEVER NEED KNOW WHO WON THIS BATTLE.][ONE SON IS AS GOOD AS ANOTHER TO HIM...]

"Bomb, bomb, evade, EVADE- ffff!! Wait, no, good, I think I got two at once that time?!" Bea's weary but not beaten. She can't be beaten now, she's come too far! "Get out of my HEAD, Greeg! I'm so pissed I'm not even gonna try getting your name right"

Syrupentine: Greigue? Someone's been playing Earthbound Zero... berd_snurglar: wait seriously the terrible monster we've been working our way toward is called 'greg'? aroseahorseboy: it's either that or "Greg-Ooh" DueyDecimal: Gregory the Terrible Eater! aroseahorseboy: if I didn't know that was a book about cartoon goats, that would sound like eldritch horror

Bea is visibly dozing off as she battle rages on, somehow just barely mashing buttons well enough to stay alive, even if she wanders aimlessly into a corner now and then. "s'gonna be over soon. I can feel it, I will persist, and so on, die already"

NormalNancy: BEA WAKE UP YOUR WINNING MaxForce: This is really creepy! aroseahorseboy: one more one more don't choke

"You guys are gonna have better luck piecing together what's happening than I am, I am- I'm almost dead now" she's down to one health pip!

Finally, there's only one dragon head left, chasing Bea's glowing avatar (Glem's soul?) through the maze faster than ever. All it takes is one well-placed bomb, that spins the walls around and captures the dragon in a cube, making it spin faster and faster and finally swallow its own tail!

[NO! NO! I WAS FINALLY! SO! CLOOOSE!]

[JOYRIDERRRRRR!]

The whole screen erupts in digital explosions, and fades back to the workshop, where Glem's father is holding his son, head in his lap.

NormalNancy: YESSS NormalNancy: Way to go Bea! Bee52: wait, joyrider? Wtf?

Bea actually slumps out of her chair for comic effect, but then falls on the floor for real. (THUD)

"OW! Shhh... I'm fine, just.. Not gonna do that again" (at least she's awake!)

The story plays out on the screen as Glem's eyes flicker open, his father hugging him tightly.

[I should have trusted you. You haven't just saved me-- you saved this world I built for us.]

[I've recovered control from 6R316-UE. The machines can rebuild the ship for me in just a few hours. What do you want to do?]

Now the game presents Bea with a final choice:

<I want to go home to Earth.> <I want to live here.>

HNV: it's a trap Klickitat_Street: I don't feel like we got enough input which would be the correct choice. aroseahorseboy: don't give up on earth! Syrupentine: No, stay, you put so much of yourself in this planet NormalNancy: KILL ME NOWWWW

"We know they were going away from the earth, we don't know why though! Is it bad? Do we really want to stay here and chance it with the crazy machines? Uugh.. I dunno."

"Whatever, doesn't matter what I choose, I can always come back and see the other one, can't I?"

"She said, tempting fate"

"Know what? somebody's gotta keep an eye on this place or things just go cray cray so.. all right, dad. We'll stay here, together. And have a cool robot family! I hope. Do you think we could rebuild Greg and make him nice? I feel kind of bad for him"

[I want to stay here.] [After all I've put you through here, you want to stay?] His dad hugs him tight. [The ship launches in three hours... But we won't be on it.]

The scene cuts to Glem and his dad watching the ship sail into the sky... And fades to black.

The torn and tarnished landscape reappears, and the cast roll begins-- all the monsters and meanies Glem fought pass by and are named, from Hopteran to Angul and even some Bea missed (what in the world was Wuggykins?). As the cast rolls by, the landscape slowly heals, going from brown and parched to green and welcoming, and crops and buildings start to appear. Even the sky goes from yellow to blue.

Syrupentine: Awww aroseahorseboy: Bea you totally made the right choice

"I sure hope so. I have a lot of questions but, all's well that ends well, I guess!" She leans back in her chair as she watches, a smile creeping over her face. "This is the kind of game I didn't WANT to end, in a way. This deserves a sequel!"

Finally the five faces of 6R316-UE appear, and cackle cruelly as the characters in its name change one by one to GREIGUE.

The faces disappear one by one, as do the letters... And when the word says GRE_G__, the dragon face looks sad as it disappears.

Llord_Kuruku: nickname Greg confirmed Bee52: Poor mecha dragon

"Thanks, rub it in, game" says Bea with a frown

Then a speck appears in the sky. The ship has returned! We fade back in on Glem and his dad as they watch it land...and out comes the whole family.

Names appear over everyone as they run out and hug Glem and his dad: RIKEL, a tiny little girl who falls flat on her face as she runs for Daddy's arms. ZORK and MARG, twin boys who grab each other and start wrestling before they can even join the family group. RENK, a boy who looks close to Glem's age who runs out to hug him first. And finally out comes...

Syrupentine: REDMOM!!! Klickitat_Street: I knew we were calling her Mom for a reason!

Bea screams! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Sorry it's just, there she is! And the kids! So, everything was leading up to this game?? And the kids, too! Even if she named them weird!"

"I mean we shouldn't assume but she always did look like the mom type. Mom type Pokémon"

Redmom runs up to her husband and they embrace as their names appear: JOYRIDER and JAYWALKER.

Baconnaise: apparently weird-ass names are a family tradition??? aroseahorseboy: the computer knew Glem's mom??????

She sees the names. "Nnnnnnnng, 'Jaywalker'" she massages her temples.

HNV: Luke Jaywalker

"Ok, so, at least some of these are our mascot characters? I know two are, some of the kids have appeared in game, I know the twins from Beware! Kitchen, I don't think I've seen the others? This is adorable though, you don't usually get a game starring a whole family.. Or a series of games I s'pose"

DueyDecimal: A whole family of mascots reminds me of Doki Doki Panic! And Legacy of the Wizard if anyone remembers that!

The words The End appear in the sky as the family embraces in their new home, and the screen fades to black... But before it restarts, the sad dragon face appears once more with a message:

[IF ONLY ANY STORY COULD TRULY END SO HAPPILY.]

NormalNancy: whaaat DueyDecimal: Oh God this had better not have all been a dream!

But it doesn't seem to be-- Bea is returned to the title screen after a few tense moments.

"Man here it comes! I knew there was gonna be some bullsh- oh"

Bea looks into the camera. "SEQUEL HOOK!"

Bee_52: is there a Joy Traveler 168, please say yes Llord_Kuruku: just skip ahead to Planet of Pisces 2! aroseahorseboy: does ANYONE have a ROM for this???

"Wait, there IS a sequel? I musta just glossed over it, I couldn't have known! And I don't think there's a rom, I don't even know if there's another Joy Traveler of THIS model in existence!"

MaxForce: the one I bought was just Joy Traveler 67, it has 100 less games. :( aroseahorseboy: does it have POP though?? MaxForce: dunno, I ordered it an hour ago!

"You did whatnow??" "I mean cool but, I didn't know you could!"

MaxForce: yeah Bea! If it's got different games I might do my own LP of it and if not, AWESOME

"It could have totally different stuff but I hope you get to play this, the world must know! Now I need to recover a little so, gonna end the stream now, it's been a hell of a ride. Thanks for joining, my bees! Til next time, your queen bids you adieu!"

She doesn't turn it off right away, though. She lingers, thinking over some of the things she's seen. Is it more than just a bunch of recurring characters that show up through these games? There has to be more to their story, but maybe for another time.

[spilledinkjh]

Just Another Night

The overwhelming sense of fear suffocating the air. The cries of agony and regret echoing off the walls. Broken glass litters the floorboards, possessions ruined discarded like yesterday's trash in the fit of unleashed rage. A house full of destruction both physically and mentally.  

Labored breathing, blood rushing to their ears drowning out the violent screams around them. Innocence ripped away before them in the selfish acts of others. Deep wounded scars carving their way into each soul. 

The young but oldest boy given no choice but to take on a role he knows merely nothing about. Only sadly he will grow into an expert through experience. The mediator, the peace keeper, the middle man. He will carry around a weight on his not yet fully developed shoulders a weight he was never meant to bare. He will grow up far too fast his youth slipping away before he could even fully take part in it. This boy will become a perfectionist drowning himself in busywork. Needing to be in complete control of everything around him at all times. He will have a hard time finding true happiness as he's silently weighed down by the events of his past. Anger and perfectionism are far much easier to get lost in. 

Then there is the isolator, the ticking time bomb as they so generously label him in his later years. A young vessel consumed with anger, rage and resentment. He turns to music, friends, sports, art, anything to escape from his reality. His talents go unnoticed like an old statue collecting dust on its shelf. He finds a man, a musician with a fucked up past. He begins to idolize this man hanging on to every lyric that falls from his lips. This man becomes a life line. The boy begins to distance himself breaking away from the chaos to be with his chosen family where he feels at peace well as much peace as one can feel in his state. In doing so, he's unaware of the gaping hole his absence causes the young girl who hangs on to his every waking move not realizing he would be the closest thing to role model in her life. 

This young girl took on the role of the overly sensitive, hypochondriac, the family defect. She was so consumed by fear it burrowed deep within her soul making a permanent home in her body having the ideal enviornment in which it needed to thrive and grow. And oh did it ever. She continuously cried out for help only for her vocal cords to become paralyzed as these cries fell on deaf ears. Instead of help she received their criticism and when they weren't spewing their cruel words at her they shunned her with their backs. Taunting and teasing their laughs playing on repeat like a broken record in a creepy old movie. She will grow to resent herself carrying such resentment through all stages of her life bleeding out for all the blood thirsty leaches to drink in. She'll become a magnet to the pain whether it's self inflicted or at the hands of those around her. She will spend countless years of her life wearing masks that were woven by those who fed off of her insecurities. This will lead her to many different paths of destruction. 

Silence filled the house, the glass swept away, the walls bare of what once held pictures and knickknacks now discarded in the kitchen trash. Bedroom doors closed. The remains of destruction lingering through the air. Sun will be rising soon, a new school day lies ahead. A bus ride to take them away from it all. Exhaustion seeping in from another sleepless night. A few days will go by. Maybe a week. And they'll have the honor of doing it all over again. 

[parfumieren]

Kouros & Body Kouros (Yves Saint Laurent)

What I'm about to say might cause a platoon of fragrance chauvinists to swallow their tongues. For them, YSL Kouros is the genius loci of an inviolably male precinct, a sacred scent with whom no mere woman may traffic. The idea of me rocking their filthy-dirty stonking wunderfume would be purest anathema-- and yet I'm doing it as we speak, and the words that come most readily to mind are "big ol' cuddlebear".

Cue the falling-upon of swords!

All right, look. I won't emasculate Kouros entirely. This 1981 monolith deserves all the he-manly epithets with which the decades have graced it. It IS raunchy. It IS racy. It's hung like Liam Neeson and has a half-life that rivals vanadium. But everything about it that could be overwhelming (the brisk face-slap of aromatic wormwood, the whiplash sting of civet-soaked leather) is tempered by something remarkably benign (rosy florals, ozonic amber, the scent of Chinese five-spice). Mad, bad, and dangerous to know? Like fun. This is no angry deity, but a gentle, downy-cheeked, smiling youth of the sort immortalized in a thousand Tom of Finland illustrations. He knows how much further a soft word will get him than a growl; that macho pose is just the icing on some very, very sweet cake.

So here's to the boy who cleans up nice and plays well with girls. He'll never need to twist my arm. (Hear that, Hugo Boss?)

**********

Now let's talk about who such boys grow up to be... and what they wear. As the child is the father to the man, Kouros set the stage for Body Kouros. An improvement? Let's see.

**********

My first car was a 1971 Volkswagen Super Beetle, light blue with one orange door. I named him Henry and loved him like a brother. Who cares if he came without a sun roof? I covered his inside domed ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. Forget the sun; I had an entire galaxy overhead.

How on earth, you rightly ask, will this tie in with YSL Body Kouros? Buckle up and sit tight, passenger. We'll get there when we get there.

From learning to drive stickshift to knowing exactly how high to turn up the heat before one's shins begin to roast, the sense of intimacy one develops with a VW Beetle offers a satisfaction unlike any other in the realm of car ownership. Both my father and my grandfather were "Bug" loyalists; when the latter deeded me his frayed copy of John Muir's 1969 classic How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive: A Manual of Step-by-Step Procedures for the Compleat Idiot, I felt as though I had been handed my birthright. From its stained pages, I culled the rudiments of DIY repair-- no despised task, since the boy in me loved to get engine grease all over his hands. I learned how to check my own oil and fluids, strip and reconnect wires, and reset by hand that tiny timing gear that used to cause me to stall coming out of first.

For engine problems I couldn't solve myself, I took Henry to the local VW garage, a dilapidated old structure on a winding back country road. There, the aging hippie mechanics unfailingly called me ma'am even though I was clearly a 22-year-old punk chick in Docs and ripped cargo shorts. Vintage VW mechanics are a unique lot, because they love their subject just as much as their clients do. Where other mechanics might speak condescendingly to a female car owner or even try to bilk her, VW mechanics recognized the engine grease under my fingernails as a sort of fraternity signal. And when they saw my copy of Muir in the back seat, the floodgates opened. They'd stand with me for an hour, speaking honestly and passionately about that quirky little automobile we all adored.

Something about leaving Henry at the garage amidst a yard of other Beetles (red with one blue door, yellow with one purple door, silver with both doors in apple green) made me happy-- as though I was dropping him off for a playdate with his friends. I think it made him happy too, because when I returned to pick him up, he purred. The mechanics would stand outside and wave goodbye as I puttered down the street. In the rearview mirror of hindsight, I still see them clearly: men like my father, like my grandfather; the salt-of-the-earth kind on whom you can "absotively posilutely" rely.

And today -- a bright, cloudless day blessed with cool weather, perfect for a drive -- I'm wearing Body Kouros in their honor.

If you've ever personally been acquainted with an auto mechanic, you know that even when they're off duty and in civilian wear, the faint, discreet odor of engine grease and motor oil hovers over their skin. If you're like me, you find this aroma extremely pleasant-- evoking, as it does, the satisfaction derived from worthwhile labor. To me, Body Kouros says one thing, simply and cleanly: job well done.

It starts off simultaneously tart and soapy, shimmering with a bright overlay of something close to gasoline fumes. (If this doesn't appeal to you, don't worry-- it evaporates quick enough, though not so quickly that it evades the notice of female gearheads.) The clean soapy quality is soon joined by a pleasantly dirty licorice-cedar accord, as if our dream mechanic came home reeking of an honest day's work and is now towelling off after a quick shower. Hints of Lava Pumice Soap and shaving cream still cling to his skin, mingling with his own natural musk and creating the air of a healthy masculine specimen.

As the drydown approaches, a note of mace finally begins to assert itself. Mace and its sibling spice nutmeg share many olfactory traits, but temperature is not one of them. Where nutmeg lends a certain coolness to a fragrance, mace offers a sense of low, steady heat like a lit charcoal pastille-- at first glimmering like an ember in the background, then catching on and increasing by degrees to a fiery red glow. (Perhaps our mechanic is a little sweaty, even after his shower; he's heading out to the shady backyard to relax in the hammock with an ice-cold bottle of beer.)

This mace note is one that I admire immensely. It's everything I love about nutmeg, only more so-- amped up and ramped up, holding firm with no shimmy at fourth gear. It radiates animal contentment and self-confidence, and at the same time, harmonizes with that motor-oil note to keep it nicely in check.

Body Kouros brings new meaning to the word "serviceable". Free of pretensions and frills, it conceals no secret layers. Yet it projects a dependability and steadiness of character that are far more valuable than so-called elegance. Above all, Body Kouros is classless in the best sense of the word-- egalitarian, unconstrained by matters of status or appearance. Wear it as a second skin to feel supremely at home in your own.

Scent Elements: Aldehydes, artemisia, coriander, clary sage, cinnamon, bergamot, carnation, iris, jasmine, geranium, patchouli, oakmoss, vetiver, honey, leather, tonka, labdanum, ambergris, musk, civet, vanilla (Kouros); incense, eucalyptus, cedarwood, mace, camphorwood, benzoin (Body Kouros)

[theworldcigarr]

The History and Craftsmanship Behind Hand-Rolled Cigars

Introduction

Hand-rolled cigars have long been regarded as the epitome of luxury, sophistication, and craftsmanship. For enthusiasts and collectors alike, these cigars represent a tradition that has withstood the test of time, capturing the essence of both the artistry and the culture of tobacco. But what makes hand-rolled cigars so special? In this blog, we will explore the rich history behind hand-rolled cigars, the meticulous craftsmanship involved in their creation, and how the art of cigar rolling has evolved both globally and locally in places like Mumbai. From the leaves of tobacco plants to the hands of skilled artisans, every step in the making of hand-rolled cigars is a testament to a centuries-old tradition that continues to captivate smokers around the world.

The Origins of Hand-Rolled Cigars

Hand-rolled cigars have a deep and fascinating history that dates back centuries. The practice of rolling tobacco into cigars was first observed by the indigenous people of the Americas, long before the arrival of European explorers.

Early Beginnings in the Americas

The history of hand-rolled cigars begins in the ancient civilizations of the Americas. Indigenous people such as the Mayans and Aztecs were known to roll tobacco leaves into cylinders for ceremonial and medicinal purposes. These early cigars were not like the refined products we see today, but they marked the first use of tobacco for smoking in a rolled form.

When Christopher Columbus arrived in the New World in 1492, he encountered the practice of smoking tobacco, which was subsequently introduced to Europe. As demand for tobacco grew in Europe, the need for a more refined process of rolling and preparing cigars also emerged.

The Rise of Hand-Rolled Cigars in Europe

By the 16th century, hand-rolled cigars were firmly established in Europe, particularly in Spain and France. Cuban cigars, made from high-quality tobacco grown on the island of Cuba, soon became highly coveted among the European elite. The meticulous craftsmanship of Cuban cigar rollers (known as "torcedores") gained international recognition, and Cuba became synonymous with cigar culture.

The art of cigar rolling spread beyond Cuba to other regions of the Caribbean, Central America, and eventually to places like India and the United States. However, Cuba remained the undisputed leader in the world of premium cigars for centuries.

The Craftsmanship of Hand-Rolled Cigars

Creating a hand-rolled cigar is an intricate and delicate process that requires years of experience and an eye for perfection. It involves selecting the right tobacco leaves, aging them to perfection, and then expertly rolling them by hand into the perfect cigar. The craftsmanship behind each cigar is what elevates the experience from simply smoking to enjoying a true work of art.

Selecting the Best Tobacco Leaves

The first step in crafting hand-rolled cigars is the selection of the finest tobacco leaves. These leaves are grown in specific regions known for their rich soil and ideal climate for tobacco cultivation. In Cuba, for example, the Vuelta Abajo region is famous for producing the world’s best tobacco.

The leaves are harvested at different stages of maturity to be used in different parts of the cigar. The wrapper leaf, which is the outermost layer, is usually the most delicate and sought after, as it must be smooth, oily, and blemish-free. The binder leaf holds the filler together and contributes to the overall flavor, while the filler leaves, which are placed in the center of the cigar, determine its strength and taste.

Aging and Fermentation of Tobacco

Once the tobacco leaves are harvested, they go through a complex aging and fermentation process that lasts for months, sometimes even years. This process is critical for developing the flavor profile of the cigar. The tobacco is carefully fermented to reduce harshness and bring out its natural oils and aromas. As the leaves age, they undergo chemical changes that enhance their flavor, making them more complex and balanced.

The Role of the Cigar Roller (Torcedor)

After the tobacco leaves are aged and prepared, it is time for the torcedor, or cigar roller, to craft the cigar. This skilled artisan will carefully select the right combination of leaves for the filler, binder, and wrapper, based on the desired flavor and strength of the cigar.

The torcedor begins by bunching the filler leaves together and binding them with the binder leaf. Once this is done, the cigar is rolled tightly but evenly to ensure an even burn. The wrapper leaf is then carefully applied to the outside, requiring a delicate touch to ensure that it is smooth and free of wrinkles.

The entire process is done by hand, and it can take hours to roll a single cigar, depending on its size and complexity. The torcedors are highly trained, often spending years perfecting their craft. Their expertise ensures that each hand-rolled cigar is both visually appealing and performs beautifully when lit.

Hand-Rolled Cigars in Mumbai: A Local Perspective

In recent years, the cigar culture in Mumbai has grown exponentially, and hand-rolled cigars are increasingly popular among tobacco connoisseurs and enthusiasts in the city. The growing number of exclusive cigar lounges and local cigar shops is a testament to Mumbai’s emerging place in the world of cigars.

The Influence of Imported Cigars

Though Cuban cigars are the most famous internationally, the availability of hand-rolled cigars from other regions, such as Nicaragua and the Dominican Republic, has increased in Mumbai. These cigars are often considered premium alternatives, with their own unique flavor profiles and craftsmanship. Many local cigar retailers in Mumbai offer these hand-rolled cigars alongside their Cuban counterparts, providing a variety of choices for aficionados.

Mumbai’s Cigar Lounges and Clubs

In Mumbai, the demand for hand-rolled cigars has led to the opening of several premium cigar lounges. These lounges provide a space where smokers can enjoy their cigars in a comfortable, stylish environment, often with a drink in hand. These establishments often offer exclusive collections of hand-rolled cigars, which cater to the tastes of the city’s growing number of cigar enthusiasts.

Local Craftsmanship and Cigar Production

While Cuba, the Dominican Republic, and Nicaragua dominate the cigar industry, there is a small but growing local market for hand-rolled cigars in India, including Mumbai. Some boutique manufacturers have started producing hand-rolled cigars in India, using locally grown tobacco. These cigars, while not as well-known as their Cuban counterparts, offer a unique experience and contribute to the diversity of the global cigar market.

FAQs about Hand-Rolled Cigars

What makes hand-rolled cigars better than machine-made cigars?

Hand-rolled cigars are crafted by skilled artisans, making each cigar unique. The tobacco used in hand-rolled cigars is often of higher quality, and the meticulous rolling process ensures an even burn, better flavor, and a more enjoyable smoking experience.

How long do hand-rolled cigars last?

Hand-rolled cigars can last for many years if stored properly in a humidor. The key is to maintain the right level of humidity to preserve the flavor and quality of the cigar.

Are hand-rolled cigars more expensive than machine-made cigars?

Yes, hand-rolled cigars tend to be more expensive due to the labor-intensive process and the high-quality tobacco used. However, many cigar enthusiasts believe the price is justified by the superior experience they offer.

How should I store my hand-rolled cigars?

Hand-rolled cigars should be stored in a humidor to maintain the proper humidity level. This prevents them from drying out or becoming too moist, which could affect their flavor and smoking experience.

What’s the difference between a Cuban hand-rolled cigar and a non-Cuban hand-rolled cigar?

Cuban cigars are famous for their tobacco, which is grown in the rich soil of Cuba’s Vuelta Abajo region. Non-Cuban cigars, such as those from the Dominican Republic or Nicaragua, have their own unique flavor profiles due to differences in soil, climate, and tobacco cultivation practices.

How do I know if my hand-rolled cigar is of good quality?

A high-quality hand-rolled cigar should have a smooth wrapper, an even burn, and an aroma that is rich and inviting. When smoking, it should draw easily, without being too tight or too loose.

Conclusion

Hand-rolled cigars are much more than a mere indulgence; they represent a centuries-old tradition, a deep connection to craftsmanship, and an appreciation for the finer things in life. From the early days in the Americas to their prominence in Mumbai’s growing cigar culture, hand-rolled cigars continue to embody luxury and sophistication. Whether you’re a novice or an experienced aficionado, there’s always something new to discover in the world of hand-rolled cigars. The craftsmanship, dedication, and passion that go into creating these cigars ensure that they remain a timeless symbol of artistry and indulgence for generations to come.

[ayearwithoutwater]

Six.

“Love Again” was one of my immediate favorites upon the release of Dua Lipa’s 2020 album Future Nostalgia. I remember thinking that that album was a solid pop record: its sledgehammer hooks are underpinned by immaculate grooves, and its sonic palette yearns for the disco ‘70s. It’s no surprise, therefore, that 2020 was also the year that I finally educated myself about the music of the inimitable Donna Summer.

I was raised on the piano. My mother had a great love for the instrument but never had the time to learn, so she would live her dreams through me. Beginning as early as age five, I was expected to practice daily on the household piano, originally an old upright piano that was later swapped out for a baby grand Kawai. During car trips, the radio was only ever attuned to classical stations.

Naturally, as I grew up, I developed my own likes and dislikes. Through my bedroom radio, I discovered the likes of Michelle Branch, Avril Lavigne, and Hilary Duff via Radio Disney. Classmates introduced me to LimeWire, which came into my life just before MySpace did, too. Although it was more widely known for being the proto-Facebook, MySpace was also the premier venue for music discovery, in which I would get lost for hours as I scoured for new music. I wanted the coolest song to display on my profile by musicians who were obscure-but-not-too-obscure, and it’s how I came to be a fan of Taking Back Sunday, Something Corporate, and Senses Fail. Music became my first love because I, like so many others, sought to escape an unhappy home; a catchy melody could take up residence in my head, and obsessing over lyrics occupied my mind. My school journals from this period of my life are still covered in my scrawled doodling as I incorporated into my imagination the lyrics of Hot Fuss, my favorite album by The Killers.

One June day after my big breakup, I wandered SoHo with my sister. In the downstairs section of the MoMA Design Store, she played the opening chords of “Clair de Lune”—one of my favorite melodies of all time—on a standing keyboard, evoking a deep sense of nostalgia from within me. As she played, I told myself that, if I managed to patch things up with Henry, I would play the piano with him.

I can pinpoint the exact moment I realized Henry was falling for me. We had been dating for a couple of months, and I was randomly scrolling through his Instagram feed. (Habitually, on social media, I mute or suppress notifications from the men I date unless I think it’s become serious enough to unmute.) I came across a recent video he’d uploaded of himself sitting at an upright piano in his parents’ home, playing his way through and singing “Love Again.” Partway through watching the video, it struck me that he was singing about me.

I have to admit, I was charmed.

We were still in the early stages of our relationship at that point, but all the signs were there of something more taking root. We were spending all of our time together and I had begun to meet his close friends. He was constantly in my apartment to the point that we were starting to discuss eventually moving in together. I knew he was special, I knew I needed to protect him, yet still I feel like I ultimately screwed it up.

When it all ended, I tried to find refuge in music. (I was basically catatonic, anyways, so all I could do was lay in bed and listen to the same sad songs on repeat.) Each year, I create a playlist of songs that I’ve come to enjoy during that year; 2022’s playlist, however, is still a field of landmines for me all this time later—listening, even now, only transports me back to the darkest chapter of my life, where all I could think about was him, him, and him.

Some of those songs include: Tina Turner, “Private Dancer” Harry Styles, “As It Was” Percy Sledge, “Love Me Tender” Kehlani, “altar”

In my time of need, music also had a funny way of finding me.

Before this, I’d never spoken to my parents about my love life. It’s a subject for another time, but suffice it to say that credit should be given where it is due: my mother tried. When she learned what had happened, she suggested that I go back to California for a brief reprieve. So, with my tail tucked between my legs, I went home. That year, I returned to California more times than I did in the past half-decade combined.

In my (American) hometown, I tried to recuperate. Being away from the hustle of New York and being away from Henry, I hate to admit, did bring me some measure of relief. I spent time with my loving, dopey, three-legged dog as well as my friends from high school. I even tried to shoehorn myself into (ill-advised) hookups, rationalizing that I needed to learn how to mingle once more.

I agreed to meet one man, someone I'd met only once before, but neither of us was able to host this time. He came up with a solution, claiming that he had a friend who'd offered us their house for our use. The address he gave me looked suspiciously familiar, but still I drove to it, bad idea notwithstanding, because I was a shell of myself and I no longer cared about propriety.

I showed up. I knocked on the front door, he let me in, and we did the deed. Post-coitus an hour later, after I had put myself back together, I left, and—instead of going straight to my parked car—I went next door and rang the doorbell.

The door opened, and I was greeted by my childhood piano teacher.

Because I don’t often revisit my hometown, I’m sometimes asked to look in on her. As I took a seat in her living room, I looked around—two grand pianos side by side, a couple of dogs, a few cats—and recalled all the years I spent in that very same room, oftentimes a welcome reprieve from my quarrelsome parents. She was a fierce, blunt instructor who hailed from Beijing and possessed a strong streak of kindness. She taught me more than just music theory: her home was where I learned how to regularly interact with pet dogs and cats, and it was where I had my first taste of (my now-beloved) oxtail. After one instance of my childhood self breaking down in tears as a result of her tough reprimands, she softened her approach with me and we developed a good rapport.

I hadn’t seen her since I graduated college, so we had a lot to talk about. I told her about my life in New York and that I was in town to attend a wedding, which prompted the evergreen question of when I myself would be getting married. I wasn’t quite in the mood to come out to her at that moment, so I explained to her my ongoing breakup with my “girlfriend.”

She admonished me, telling me not to give up. She told me to go back to “her” apartment every day, with flowers and gifts, until “she” either shooed me away or, God willing, took me back, because that’s what a man does when he’s truly devoted to his partner.

I merely nodded along. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’d spent months sending “her” red roses and apologies between New York and Singapore, that I’d bawled my eyes out every night, every week, that I grieved the disappearance of the one person out of all my past lovers I ever wanted to marry, that I was functionally a zombie because I’d lost my better half forever. Thus, I listened to my piano teacher and pretended to agree that I would go back to New York and make all my amends. By then, I already knew that “she” wasn’t ever coming back.

My teacher switched topics to idle gossip. I updated her on the activities of my immediate family; she talked about her neighbors. Interestingly, there was one neighbor in particular who she’d known since he was six years old. Now in his thirties, he was openly gay and still lived in the same house. She’d installed security cameras all over her property and even once called the police to investigate the strange men coming and going from his home…because he lived right next door.

After our visit ended, I drove to a random plaza, where I sat on a nondescript bench and mulled my thoughts over a blended taro slush drink and pan-fried soup dumplings, alone. She’d told me not to give up, but I knew I had to; I was certain that I needed to move on.

As I ate, I pulled out my phone—with its battery at less than five percent—and began another listen of my 2022 playlist.

[treasureyourfire]

(Eng)

Day 2

26.01.2024

My card of the day:

The Star

Unfortunately, I no longer remember the events of the day when I received this card, but probably, there was no event in the physical world that I could relate to. Either it wanted to lead me to something about my inner world, or the card could point to the current stage of my life in general.

The following list was compiled for my own situation, it does not contain a complete, comprehensive description of the given card.

Thoughts and inspirations from several sources:

"... you have connected with your true life path." ... "Duality meets: who you are on the earth plane and who you really are." ... "You have met a part of your life plan that fits into the Cosmic Plan..." - Teremtő-Tarot Modellezés

I trust this.

"The Star is the card of hope, wisdom and the discovery of deeper connections. It shows that we are planning or launching things that extend into the distant future and that we can legitimately hope for a positive development. At this early stage, we are often not even aware of the far-reaching impact of our actions. It is only when we look back at the events that it becomes clear to us how decisive the change of direction that the Star signaled at that time was. Like the greening of a seed, realizing the results of this action also takes time. The traditional interpretation sees the Star as one of the three protective cards, which promises joyful success." - tarrdaniel.com

"The card means that the Questioner's great desire will be fulfilled if he is willing to make sacrifices for it." ... "It doesn't have to be a huge sacrifice beyond your strength. It is enough if the victim is conscious. This awareness gives its true value. Sacrifice, resignation can be anything. Even a very small thing: a bad habit or charity, etc.” - Ágnes Székelyhidi

"... after stumbling in the dark, the light finally shines in our lives - even in the sense that we suddenly or gradually become enlightened in connection with a tormenting question or dilemma."

"Water is an element of renewal, a fresh start, and purification, and indeed: card 17 indicates that we are leaving behind a previous phase of life and a new chapter in our destiny is beginning. In doing so, we have to give up the old, ingrained habits and behavior models that still belonged to our former self - that is, it is worthwhile to wash off the impurities of the past in a spiritual and spiritual sense. The other symbols also refer to freedom, liberation, the breaking of barriers: the bird roams freely in the sky, but usually the bird symbol represents our higher, divine self. It can also mean that we are entering a phase of life where it will be worthwhile to listen to our internal "compass" (the higher self) in our decisions instead of the outside world." ... "...let's dare to be ourselves, let's even take a sharp turn in our lives - even if it seems bold, and maybe we're actually faced with the incomprehension of our environment."

"The Star here is also our lucky star. This card is encouraging: it indicates that our sufferings are over, that luck is finally smiling on us. If we draw this card, we may have big plans in the near future..." ... "And since the star is also a symbol of distance and cosmic horizons, it has an even more important message: now it is worth looking at our lives from above, comprehensively: looking back into the past, taking stock of what has happened so far, analyze the present and – with sufficient wisdom – plan the future.” - Boglárka Kincses

"Advice: believe that everything is getting better! Look to the future with confidence and expect the best! Be an optimist and let better opportunities gradually open up to you! Expand your horizons! You are on the road to recovery and improvement! Don't lose sight of your goals!" - tudatkulcs.hu

"The Star is also called the "Leading Light". This can be taken as a deep understanding that the chosen path is the right one, that the end of this path is good, and that there is perfect harmony between psychic feelings and physical actions.” - babbajosda.blog.hu

"This card often appears when we need perseverance, when the goal is still far away. But it often appears when someone is thinking about giving up. In such cases, they tell with the Star that you are on the right track... just keep doing it." - Tarottia (Facebook)

The quintessence of number 17:

The path of acquiring cosmic knowledge, which leads to harmonious, well-thought-out decisions (VIII. Balance/Justice)

Keywords:

Incentive, Motivation

Trust (in self and in the larger whole)

Faith

Hope

Intuition (Listen to your inner voice.)

Contemplation, retreat

Consciousness

"Spiritual Rebellion"

Practicing spirituality

Let's look at our situation from a bird's eye view

Connection, communication with the higher self

"Let your star rise and stay in touch with the earth." (Harmony)

It is as if our inner and outer eyes are opened

End of a difficult period, rest

Joyful distant future

Long-term favorable development

Desire, Fulfillment of desires

(It is important to clarify in ourselves exactly what our desires are! Let's turn inward and study ourselves.)

[grantgoddard]

I can't dance to that music you're playin' : 1970 : Emperor Rosko, The Paris Theatre, London

“Would you like to dance?” the girl asked.

I was dumbfounded. Nobody had ever asked me to dance. Particularly a girl!

“Er, no thanks,” I mumbled pathetically.

“Oh, go on, please,” she chivvied. Anyone else would have been flattered. But me? I was terrified.

“Sorry, but I can’t dance,” I tried to explain. The girl looked disappointed but gave up and walked back to the stage. It might have been the beginning of a beautiful friendship. But I blew it.

It was true. I have never been able to dance. Too self-conscious. Too buttoned-up in that English way. The last occasion I recall dancing wildly was the 1977 Trevelyan College Summer Ball to which fellow student Zena Carter had generously invited me and whom I must have embarrassed immensely with my feeble attempt at ‘Saturday Night Fever’ moves I had just seen at Durham’s cinema. All the posh male students in attendance wore black tuxedos, while I looked completely out-of-place in a borrowed white suit, jigging around to the local live band ‘No Exit’ featuring a certain ‘Sting’. I still cringe. Three years later, my job would be adding hit songs by his next band ‘The Police’ to local station ‘Metro Radio’s playlist.

But that was in the future. Back in 1970, another reason I turned down the girl’s invitation to dance was that I had become terribly shy. At primary school I had considered myself no different from my classmates. Then, after moving to grammar school in 1969, I was developing a creeping sense of inferiority, not comprehending why my termly school reports criticised me for not being sufficiently vocal in class. Achieving classwork and exam results near the top of my year of sixty students was seemingly judged insufficient unless you flaunted your cleverness by regularly sticking up your hand in class and pushing yourself in front of teachers. In my new ‘streamed’ school, populated by many privately educated ‘prep school’ protegees, it appeared a boy might inexplicably be considered deficient for simply being ‘quiet’ and demonstrating no interest in blowing his own trumpet. I responded to my school’s reproaches by retreating into shyness in company … which dogged me for decades to come.

I might have felt less self-conscious about the girl walking up to me in the end seat of the fourth row on the left side of the centre aisle, had my mother not been sat right next to me. I was embarrassed. I was twelve years old, though I appeared older because of my height. I had written to the BBC Ticket Unit to request a pair of tickets to attend the live broadcast of Emperor Rosko’s Saturday lunchtime ‘BBC Radio One’ show at London’s Paris Theatre. None of my new schoolfriends appeared to be interested in the music I followed, so my mother had accompanied me on the train from Camberley.

The Paris Theatre had been an art-house cinema showing French films in Lower Regent Street until the BBC acquired it in 1946 and equipped it with a radio studio to record concerts and live comedy shows before a seated audience of around 400. From 1968, the weekday lunchtime ‘Radio One Club’ show had been broadcast live from the venue, hosted by a station DJ and showcasing a live band in front of an audience who had all sent to the BBC for their ‘Club’ membership cards. It was the station’s earliest attempt at outreach to its listeners and, by the 1970’s, was extended from London to cities around the country. In 1974, it was replaced by the touring ‘Radio One Roadshow’ whose format was similar to the large summer outdoor events Rosko had been organising independently since the 1960’s.

I was a huge fan of Rosko’s weekly radio show because he played reggae and new American soul records as yet unreleased in Britain. At that time, when around 100 new singles were released a week in the UK, record companies would wait to see which American singles proved successful in North American charts before committing to a British release date. This delay could be months, often allowing British pop artists to ‘cover’ American soul hits before the original was available in shops. My parents owned Julie Grant’s single of ‘Up On The Roof’ which had reached number 33 in 1962, but they had never heard the original by The Drifters which failed to chart in Britain. Grant successfully parlayed her chart success into several television appearances and a concert tour with The Rolling Stones, another British act recycling American black music at the time.

Each week I would record Rosko’s 90-minute Saturday show onto an audiocassette and listen to it repeatedly on headphones while I did my homework, before recording the next show over it the following weekend. This was the first occasion I heard James Brown’s ‘Sex Machine’ single, Rosko playing the A-side one week and its B-side the next. It changed my life! Many outstanding tracks like this recorded onto my cassette I went on to buy as imported American singles from ‘Contempo’ at 42 Hanway Street or ‘Record Corner’ in Balham, the main retailers for new American black music as yet unreleased in the UK. Many of those songs first heard on Rosko’s show I still know by heart and treasure to this day. Without the benefit of a black music radio station in Britain (London soul pirate ‘Radio Invicta’ did not launch until December 1970), Rosko was the nearest experience available, even though he mixed reggae and soul with some pop and rock tracks.

What marked Rosko’s shows out from the rest of ‘Radio One’s output was that he simultaneously operated a mobile discotheque (the ‘Rosko International Roadshow’) and compered concerts by American soul artists touring the UK. That gave him a unique insight into the specific music British audiences wanted to hear, something that many of his studio-bound radio colleagues did not understand. The other factor was that Rosko was allowed to choose his own records to play on the radio, whereas the music in most shows was selected by ‘Radio One’ producers, the majority of whom preferred twee British novelty acts to ‘foreign’ reggae and soul. These ‘gatekeepers’ could determine through national airplay whether a record was to become a hit or not in Britain, so the charts inevitably reflected their value judgements.

I was fascinated when analysing the British singles charts from this period to discover the volume of chart-topping pop songs that are never played as ‘oldies’ nowadays because they sound embarrassingly quaint or sentimental. Compare that to the significantly lower chart positions achieved by many black music recordings considered now to be ‘classic’ or ‘standards’ [documented in my book ‘KISS FM’]. It is forgotten just how ‘white’ the BBC’s popular music station sounded overall, despite valiant attempts to play more soul by daytime DJ’s Tony Blackburn and Dave Lee Travis. My appreciation of reggae was sparked by Rosko but had to be developed by evenings tuned to ‘Radio Luxembourg’ which Trojan Records paid to play their latest reggae releases. In 1971, singer Nicky Thomas even recorded the song ‘BBC’ to chastise ‘Radio One’ for not playing enough reggae, its release accompanied by a protest march to Broadcasting House. This had no evident impact on the station’s producers who were almost exclusively recruited from the white middle-classes and who moulded ‘Radio One’ in their own image.

This was why my visit (without dancing) to the Paris Theatre that Saturday was to become such a memorable experience, having enjoyed some of my favourite soul and reggae tunes played loudly through Rosko’s enormous sound system loudspeakers. When the girl asked me to dance, Rosko had been playing Edwin Starr’s ‘War’, a remarkably innovative Motown production by Norman Whitfield recorded to protest the Vietnam War with its chorus: “war … what is it good for? … absolutely nothing!”

A few years ago, I created a Spotify playlist of several hundred Whitfield productions, such remains my unbridled enthusiasm for his work (often with songwriting partner Barrett Strong). At the beginning of October this year, something prompted me to return to this playlist and update it with songs Whitfield subsequently recorded for his own label, notably by Rose Royce. I spent the following days listening non-stop to songs from my enlarged playlist such as ‘War’, ‘Stop The War Now’, ‘Friendship Train’, ‘Unite The World’ and ‘You Make Your Own Heaven And Hell Right Here On Earth’ all recorded half a century ago, all explicitly criticising violence and promoting peace. This was the music I was listening to only days later when news broke of atrocities committed in Israel. The music was appropriate … but the timing was inexplicably spooky.

[joesanimationblog]

Forefront Post 1

Last summer animation short film 2022

I like the vibrancy of this film, it feels like a VHS tape or old home video because of the hazy focus and bright colours. The tone starts out really light and summery music and bright colours but everything fades as the sun sets into the evening. There is a real sense that you are looking through a window into real people's lives, I think these details and many more help establish an emotional connection to the story and characters as the idea of change and leaving what you know is scary and something almost everyone can relate to. The small moments between big moments feel unimportant but they create the big picture in your life and this film is a great reminder of that. I think zooming in on these moments really creates a sense of melancholy. At around the 4-minute mark, there is some nice framing as one of the characters, the boy with black hair is isolated as all his friends drift away, Him finding and listening to the track feels so lonely and makes the music from the start take on a whole new meaning. The music seems to embody the idea of hope, optimism and the idea of letting go in this film and it re-frames the entire narrative to be positive rather than negative.

On the Gobelins website, there is a director note (although it is not clear who this is written by the credited directors are Chloé Van Becelaere, Elodie Xia) The director note is written below

"The themes of Last Summer reflect common experiences of our childhoods: friendships and partings that come during the transition into adulthood. We explore those feelings through Ren, a teen who experiences fear and loneliness, facing the end of an important stage in his life.

The village provides intimacy, a closed space for the relationships to develop, a familiar space for our characters.

We use background art and light to convey the relationship between the four friends and to reflect Ren’s feelings; from the vibrant beginning to the calm and melancholic end, when he’s at his loneliest.

Music also plays an essential role in our film; the friend group is also an amateur band. The music is present when our characters feel happy, fades into silence when they begin to part ways, only to come back again at the end when Ren finally completes the song and accepts to move on."

I wrote my breakdown before reading their director's note and its a true testament to the clarity of the film. Establishing clear communication through the combination of language and imagery is a key part of film making and this film is very nicely arranged, paced, written, and directed with communication front and center.

Becelaere, C.V. (2022) Last Summer - 

Graduation Short film 2022, LAST SUMMER - Graduation short film 2022. Available at: https://www.gobelins-school.com/gallery/last-summer (Accessed: 11 August 2023).

LAST SUMMER - Animation Short Film 2022 - GOBELINS (2022). GOBELINS. 12 October. Available at: https://youtu.be/HPOcLm0fMws (Accessed: 10 August 2023).