#like. more in a physical sense. talking to friends on the internet only helps so much

[reikunrei]

i’m perfectly content with being as introverted as i am and i very much enjoy my “me time” of being totally alone for hours on end. but sometimes i have nights like tonight, especially after horrible weeks like this week, where i really feel how desperately lonely i can be :’)

[bludhavens-finest]

Ok so this is the biggest blog I have so I will be talking about it here, also comics have always been inherently political so it makes sense to talk about here, this will be posted to the rest of my blogs as well

I’m going to tag this with tw’s, if you don’t want to see more shit about the election I get it believe me I do, that’s fine. If you do stay around I’m going to be incredibly blunt about this shit

1. Do not fucking kill yourself. The amount of queer and especially young people I have seen saying that they are going to is astronomical, these people are not worth loosing your life. If you need help, get help, talk to someone, at the end of this post I’ll add numbers/websites

2. If you are disabled like me, and you need something medically whether that be vaccines, surgeries, procedures, mobility aids, medications, or even certain information; get them now while you can. The medical system in America is a bitch to deal with and even harder to get into, most of my appointments take at least three months, but if you can get in and get things done before they switch who’s in office, get it done now.

3. If you are trans and planning to get gender affirming surgery or healthcare in the next few months same goes for you, get the surgeries while you still can and get on meds now, if you get on them now it’s going to be easier to keep the prescription for as long as you can.

4. If you’re a woman or afab, get birth control while you can. Because they are going to get rid of birth control at this point, they’ve already gone after abortions and this is the next step.

5. But queer/feminist/punk media and books while you still can, because yes they can and will ban books they already do it in schools

6. Honestly I would even go so far as to say start buying physical copies of certain bands if you can, because most hardcore and just regular punk bands will probably be less accessible

7. Honestly probably just get a vpn at this point, I know you’ve gotten an ad for one from a YouTuber before, look into the company’s, find one you can afford and like

8. If non-Americans or even just some Americans who are republicans (which if you are fuck off.) think this is an over-exaggeration it’s really not.

America is the only first world country without universal healthcare, most people in this country either die waiting for a doctor, die because of a doctor (medical negligence and malpractice are leading causes of death in America, over a quarter of a million people die a year because of it.), public transit is non-existent, disabled people have been fighting for our rights for decades, women lost the right to control their own bodies after having that right for less then a life span. Many woman were there when roe v wade passed and still alive when it was overturned. Because it all happened in the span of 50 years. The amount of violence in our police departments (that are only getting more and more funding), the lack of education and lack of historically accurate information taught in public schools, the literal fucking constant brainwashing campaigns.

This is all coming from someone who is Afab, a Minor, living in the south, mentally and physically disabled, a lesbian, and trans. Believe me I understand how fucking scared people are.

It is 2024 almost 2025, not 1970. You have access to information and you are entitled to being informed, so inform yourself. Check your own sources, do your own research.

I’m well aware that this all seems fucking dystopian, I know that it seems like there’s no point, but keep yourself safe. If you need a break from seeing all this filter your tags, go outside for a while, get off the internet, play with your pets, talk to friends. Just don’t let yourself sit in this and worry yourself to death, it’s not going to help anyone.

Numbers you can call: 1-866-488-7386 (Trevor project), If you go to their website you can also text if talking isn’t safe, 988 (suicide and crisis line),

[imagionationstation]

ughh your recent post about leo feeling unsure and off about rise’s universe literally is a idea i’ve been rotating in my head for a while, so i have so many thoughts about it;

he feels unsure. is this new place really trustworthy? they’ve traveled dimensions before, but to STAY in a new universe? he convinces himself it’s no big deal; the situation they’ve found themselves in is a tragic one, it makes sense everybody would find this new place without kraang interesting (depending on what time in rise this is) . but then when he sees the most fact depending on of the bunch (donnie) even thinking about staying, he starts to let his emotions get the best of him. he doesn’t know how to feel about rise!leo, because leo isn’t even the leader and he’s so happy go lucky and doesn’t realize how LUCKY he is, 2012!leo thinks. idk this situation is so angst potential like

YAS YOU GET IT

I was thinking that it was sometime after the Krang debacle. The 2012 are age 18 and at the end of the movie, Rafa would be 17-18. So he’s close to their age but not quite there. Which only ticks Leo off more because Rafa always has the mindset that “I’m the physically biggest so I do big brother things.”

And- *checks sources* internet says that Rafa is 6’0 and Donnie is 5’6 so he still has some height on all the brothers. If we wanna talk real threats in Leo's eyes, this guy who’s so interested in his little brothers is also acting like the biggest brother and offering insisting that he could be Leo’s biggest brother too, if he would let him.

Leo’s alarm bells are ringing from the very beginning, but he tries to hold off because he knows that he can be a tad overprotective.

When Mikey starts talking like he wants to stay, Leo doesn’t bat an eye. It’s Mikey. He’ll go anywhere that has friends waiting.

When Raph starts getting comfortable with the conversation, Leo can’t help the uncertainty that curls up in his gut. He pretends it doesn’t bother him, carefully trying to poke holes in his reasoning. But like it does with everything else, Leo’s reluctance only seems to make Raph want the change even more.

It seems like Donnie’s on his side for a while, but then he suddenly starts coming to Leo with blueprints and well-thought-out plans. He admits to have been going over spots in the sewers that they could call home and he’s filled with Don’s promises to lend tech and assist in the construction. The twins even offered to teach him how to sneak into stores and libraries and schools and can you imagine, Leo? Attending a real place of learning? Fitting in with his peers and all it takes is a jacket? He's so eager and talks so fast that he slips into chirps. And that’s when Leo knows that he’s lost him.

And sure, he also enjoys the new freedom on the surface and can’t help but be curious about the world for Yokai under the surface. Yet a small part of him knows that they can't belong to either world- the human or the Yokai. At least back home, it's familiar terrain that they don’t belong in. And familiar dangers to face too.

And when they find out that there’s a Krang species that are a hundred times more dangerous than their Kraang somewhere in the world, Leo tries to use that as a reason to keep them close.

Unfortunately, there’s also an Earth Protection Force in this dimension and they have the leftover Krang locked up tight. So, his brothers really aren’t too concerned about it. Besides, the Rise family might need their help the next time around. And they’d be a whole dimension away. It’s just more… Convenient this way.

And there's nothing wrong with their world, not necessarily.

It's just not his dimension. It's not his home.

And in the beginning, Leo does see their charm. He enjoys the ‘woe is the older brother’ banter with Rafa, and the defiant innocence that Michael exudes, and the way Don’s eyes lit up when he listens to him rant for more than two minutes. He can see himself in Leon. A younger version of himself, definitely, but a leader who's still chipper and boisterous and alive despite the battles. He's full of bad puns and decent strategies and he doesn't struggle with getting people to obey and he never seems bothered by the crack in his shell.

(It leaves Leo to wonder, in the dead of day, clutching his leg to his plastron as a portal to another world thrums in a different room, if some injuries would be easier to come back from if he simply had the magic to teleport them and himself away.)

Leo actually enjoyed their company, at first.

His brothers did too. And he was happy, that they had new friends that could understand their struggles as turtle mutants, to an extent.

The portal started staying open longer. And his brothers planned more and more trips through. And then they’d disappear on their own, and Leo would find himself alone. And that was fine.

It was fine when Rafa slipped up and called Mikey his little brother.

It was fine when Don woke Donnie back up to keep working on a project after he'd finally talked him into going to sleep.

It was fine when Raph told him that he was going out with Michael to work on a therapy project and refused to tell anyone where he'd gone until he returned covered in paint two days later.

It was fine when Leon told him that he was overbearing. It was fine when he said that meditating was lame and a waste of time. It was fine when he derailed morning training. It was fine when he interrupted Leo to announce his own plans or casually manipulated Leo into being the bad guy when the Sensei put his foot down.

It was fine that he was losing hold of the small bits of control that he had. It was fine that his brothers didn't look at him when something blew up or a scream rang out. It was fine. He... It was fine.

It was fine, until the evening that he realized that it was not.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Protective bachelors headcanonssssss?

Yeeesssss!

Usually when people ask for "bachelors", I think about like "they are not yet 'Farmer's partner" because they are a 'singles', but I'm always not sure if I'm getting it right. Therefore, I try to find an alternative and write in a way that candidates would behave in both cases. I hope this makes sense.

By the way, I took the word "protective" in different ways. I mean, you can protect them from bullies, from natural disasters, from danger, from themselves if such a case ever occurs. I was interested in experiencing with this writing. Feel free to write criticism and suggest if such a headcanon deviates from the essence of the issue, I'm interested to know your opinion.

Anyway, thank for your ask, anon))))

_________________________________________

Alex:

Alex has been volunteering as a beach lifeguard for years. Given his physical qualities, ability to swim well and basic knowledge of first aid, this role suits him perfectly, so he agreed to volunteer and keep the beach safe every summer.

But it's fall now, too cold for the beach season, so no one needs his skills for now. So Alex thought until the Farmer, fishing on the river bank near Alex's house, fell for some reason directly into the rushing waters. The athlete acted faster than he thought: a jump into the water - and he is already dragging the Farmer to land. Alex carefully examined the Farmer to understand their condition, and when he was convinced that everything was alright with them, he took them home, where Evelyn brought a blanket and a cup of hot tea for the Farmer after a cold bath.

Whether or not the Farmer knew how to swim at the time, Alex now always watches over them when they fish near his house and moves them away from the river to prevent this from happening again.

Elliott:

There was one case when one of the tipsy tourists began to pester the Farmer with an offer to go on a date together. And when the Farmer politely refused the offer, they received threats and promises from the interlocutor to spoil the image of their farm. No one knows how long this clowning would have continued if an enraged Elliott had not approached them.

I can't get the fact out of my head that Elliott will challenge this asshole to a duel like the old fashioned way. It doesn't matter if the Farmer is just a good friend or his partner, the writer is determined to uphold their honor. Of course, here it will do without pistols, but still there is a theatrical note.

But that doesn't mean that Elliott is deliberately turning it into a theatre, oh no. He is fully prepared to fight this ill-mannered interlocutor on the battlefield, whether it be a verbal skirmish or a fist fight. Even if physical superiority is not on Elliott's side, he was able to successfully teach the offender a lesson, although now his nose is covered in blood. The Farmer, treating Elliott's wounds, must admit that they obviously did not expect this from him and were grateful for the support.

Sebastian:

Sebastian was surprised that the Farmer knew so little about social media. Like, they and Sebby are the same age, but if Sebastian himself makes magic with his programming skills, then the Farmer is more like an elder who was given a new phone by grandchildren and don't know how to use this device.

Therefore, Sebastian suggested that they create their own page on the Internet, where they will post their photos and posts on their favorite topics, for example, about farming, or life hacks on growing different crops. To which the Farmer happily agreed, rejoicing at the opportunity to put up tips that will help people. But, unfortunately, in addition to good people there will always be fools, trolls and bots in the vastness of the World Wide Web, which can not only spoil a person’s mood, but also put them into a depressive state.

Sebastian may still feel awkward talking to people face-to-face, but with a snap of his fingers, he will permanently ban nasty people from the Farmer's page while they don't see. Fair criticism is one thing, but just being toxic is another. Sebby won't just watch his friends get bullied by some idiots on the other side of the monitor, right?

Shane:

Shane doesn't get paid enough for this shit. Stupid boss, stupid Joja products, stupid co-workers (not counting Sam and that cashier). This was not enough for him, so now he saw through the window of the store how one of the Joja loaders clings to the Farmer. He can't make out what started the skirmish, but Shane heard loud and clear the phrases about the Farmer "our goods are better than yours", "bastard" and "bitch".

And at that moment, Shane's patience snapped. This pissed him off so much that he went to yell at that freak, not afraid of losing his miserable job.

Do you think Shane can't intimidate a bully enough? Have you ever seen his face when he's angry? This is the face of a man who will fight with God for the sake of people dear to him. For his aunt, goddaughter, chicken Charlie and the Farmer (friend or partner), he will tear off the offender's hands. Even though Morris issued a fine to both Joja employees for "spoiling the image of the company", Shane does not care. No one dares to offend them and think that the asshole will get away with it.

Harvey:

Merciful Yoba, give Harvey great patience. Because if he does not have enough patience, then brute force will come into play. What kind of stubborn fool do you have to be to get out of bed immediately after you had an emergency operation!?

The wounded Farmer after another adventure in the mines became an all-too-frequent sight in Harvey's clinic, but this time the case was quite dangerous. Harvey, as a professional in his field, quickly treated the Farmer's wounds, brought food and ordered them to rest for at least a couple of days. But they declared that the farm would wither without them and were preparing to get out of the hospital bed.

Because of this, Harvey's angelic patience finally snapped and he barked that he would tie the young troublemaker to the bed if they tried to get up again. This cooled the Farmer's ardor, and they obediently lay down again. Harvey, regretting his words, quickly apologized to the Farmer, explaining that he was very worried about their health no longer as a doctor, but as a friend (or more than a friend?). Every time he worries about their health, because they have become a close person to him. To which the ashamed Farmer also asked for forgiveness and thanked Harvey for his care and patience.

Sam:

After Sam's first concert ended successfully, he invited his band members and the Farmer to stay a little longer in Zuzu City for a bite to eat before the road. The Farmer offered to buy everyone burgers and sodas in the cafe while Sam, Sebby, and Abby took a table outside. It's been 30 minutes, and the Farmer still hasn't left the burger place, so Sam decided to check what took them so long. And the delay was because of another visitor to that cafe, who, in a drunken stupor, tried to prove to everyone that the Farmer had stolen their wallet. Neither the seller nor the Farmer themselves were able to calm down the raging visitor.

Sam approached the Farmer at the moment when the problem was solved by itself: no one stole the guy's wallet, he just put them in another pocket of his jacket. But instead of apologizing, the drunkard said that the Farmer could have stolen anyway.

To which Sam, with all his positive and ability to find a common language with everyone, barked at an unpleasant person, saying that the loser should get lost. His tirade somehow worked, and the man left. Sam doesn't like watching his friends get hurt, so he apologized if he scared the Farmer with his swearing. To which the Farmer themselves thank for the help and note that they have never heard such cursing from Sam. Well, yeah Sam is no longer a child! ... But anyway, don't tell his mother that he expressed himself like that, okay? For silence - delicious burgers, at his expense 😉

[iwillalwaysbealone]

Ortega. The Yuma lookalike

First post test. Just because.

You guys ever noticed how Ortega in Pokémon Scarlet and violet looks exactly like Yuma from MDA: Raincode?

I've always wanted to point that out because I find it hilarious.

• BOTH are males

• BOTH have purple eyes

• BOTH have a short physical build

• BOTH have pink hair styled in a bowl cut

Yuma: "DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN!"

Either way I freaking adore them both! 🩷💜

Ortega is Fairy Type Yuma while Yuma is Ghost type Ortega.

Yuma is kindhearted with a strong sense of justice while Ortega is competitive, bratty and short tempered while hiding real feelings behind the insults he throws at people.

Just some things about me:

By the way this is my first ever Tumblr post. I'm a new guy so I'm the newbie dumbass. I'm a massive fan of MDA Raincode, Danganronpa, Monster Hunter alongside other video games. I actually research multiple video games and really look into any new characters that catch my interest.

Usually I've been in the dark because I don't use many forms of social media (I was raised strictly so I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone online until I was 19 in 2019) so yeah... I'm an internet hermit. I first had a taste of online socialising when I created a YouTube account to talk in the Super Smash Bros Ultimate streams I was taking part in. Then from there I joined Discord just so that I could remain in contact with my friends I made there. However after years of struggling with fitting into online communities I've had no choice but to back away from people due to my health. Having social anxiety really doesn't help, plus I'm autistic so I really struggle with a lot of basic things people can do easily. (For example instructions have to be simplified for me so that I can understand them step by step).

I'm a gamer who loves multiple video games but always struggles with talking about my passions wherever I go. People find me annoying, see me as a spammer (especially as I love posting memes I find on the internet just to spread joy and try to make people laugh) and ban me from community servers because I'm too emotional (when I feel low I have a bad habit of venting just so someone can show some kind of support, as I don't talk to anyone in reality. Unfortunately there's a lot of people who can't stand people like me, since my depression is triggering for them, so they throw me out, never speaking to me again.

This of course made me feel worse about myself and I've been isolating myself. Due to my lack of socialising (I've always had problems with making friends) I find peace with the characters I fall in love with in video game. Mostly because I can relate to them. I believe that everyone has their mains. Their number one character(s) they love the most. That's the main reason why I love the games I play.

I'm going to give Tumblr a go. I know that people often use this place for fanart however, I'm a really terrible artist so I won't post any of mine. Also I'm extremely reluctant in showing off any random fanart I find online because I learnt the hard way that it's extremely rude to just post other people's art without crediting them. I'm deeply sorry.... I didn't get a manual of online art posting etiquette so I was completely clueless and I'm permanently ashamed of it. It was because I was so used to copying and pasting any nice pictures I saw online onto my private discord server. So I wasn't used to big communities (an example of my dumb brain however it's wired differently and I take things literally so I'm just not going to post any fanart whatsoever in public) yes.. I am terrified of being told off, and it's got only worse after getting banned from four discord video game communities. I'm also an ex mod so I can tell whenever a server mod is more into status than actually caring for the community.

I'm sick of explaining everything about myself as a human being who just happened to be born a little bit different than most people who spend their whole lives on social media. I'm sensitive, outspoken and I just want a place in the gaming community who will just accept people like me. I'm the kind of person who speaks their mind and when upset or angry I tend to say nasty things at people but I immediately regret it.

At least here i can just post random crap that's on my mind. About my favourite video games and characters while people can choose whether they want to hang out or not.

I'm a kind hearted person who looks out for everyone. I allow people to vent if ever they feel sad or alone. I hate to see people get hurt and I'd love to see them get well ❤️‍🩹. I will never push anyone away just because they are being too "triggering" while I understand that these things can upset other people it still doesn't make it right to criminalise the person who is in need of support from other humans. Treat others how you'd want to be treated. Yes I do talk about deep topics if I must, I am into horror game lore after all so I've heard it all. However hopefully I'll warn everyone if something I'm about to talk about is too dark.

I'm going to say this as well. I apologise if I type too much. Because of the way I am I go into as much detail about pretty much everything as possible. Yes, I've had nasty comments about it.

I DO make videos on YouTube but at the moment I've shut myself down from it. Hopefully if I feel better I'll open it up again.

Anyway I'm glad to get most of that personal shit out of the way just so that you have an understanding of what to expect from me, I'm certainly not mainstreamer. For the most part I'm just a geek for multiple video games.

P.S I suck with hashtags by the way.

[why-do-we-do-this]

After several days of slowly translating, here's my version of Cellbit's pdf, translated into English.

I've included a brief summary under the cut for anyone who might not want to read the whole thing or who are wary of the warnings.

This was my personal method of processing, and I encourage all of you to do what you need to do so as well, whether that be stepping off of the internet and letting the moss reclaim you for a while, drawing, crying it out, comprehending the beautiful insignificance of existence for as long as you need to, or talking this situation through with somebody else.

tws for:

sexual assault, aphobia, suicidal ideation, manipulation, victim blaming

-

Chronological Event Summary

At age 9 Cellbit had an awkward and very violating encounter with a neighbor girl who was older than him which left him traumatized. He questioned his sexuality as he was growing up, and thought things would make sense once he actually lost his virginity, which he did to his first girlfriend at age 18. Since then, he's been sure of his asexuality. However, this girlfriend was aphobic and constantly pressured him into having sex with her or urging him to seek medical help for his lack of interest in sex. She would embarrass him in front of his friends, gaslit him into thinking that no one else would ever accept him for who he is, was physically violent towards him, and cheated on him. Once he was finally able to pull away from her, she started making incessant posts about Cellbit being abusive, mean, and jealous, which caused backlash against Cellbit and his content, and she even used his depressive period and suicide attempt as reason to incite hate against him. Cellbit remained in silence in response to this, fearing what might happen if he tried to fight back, but, with the recent new allegation that this ex made accusing him of sexually assaulting her, Cellbit had enough and broke his silence with this document. He's said that he doesn't want this to affect him and his loved ones any longer, and he doesn't want to speak about all of this any more than he already had to.

-

Cellbit's pdf

MY RESPONSE, 7 YEARS LATER

7 years ago I was in a relationship with a person who lied compulsively, cheated on me, tricked me and has tried to ruin my life up until the present, though I've always tried to stay silent.

This week, she accused me of sexual assault.

This is a complete lie.

It's time to finally tell everything that I have lived through.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "There's no normal way to ask this / I'm just curious / but are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "as in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

This relationship began in 2015. I had just turned 18 and she was 20. 9 years ago. I broke up with her in 2017, two years later.

After we broke up I never responded to any of the allegations that she publicly made against me. I didn't want my followers going on a witch hunt, and even less to expose a personal relationship which used to bring me so much pain.

The only statement that I made was related to me doing therapy, I never mentioned her name and never spoke about anything that she did to me. I NEVER attacked her nor encouraged any kind of hate towards her during all of these years.

And, despite her always claiming that "she doesn't want to revive that subject", she is literally the only one who keeps talking about it, inventing and distorting more things every time, even 7 years later. And I have always maintained my quiet, always held on to my silence. But this week, she has made the worst accusation so far, and there is no more silence to hold on to.

This is a document directly relaying all the facts of what I lived, with any evidence that I could get in order to confirm things. This is not me asking for forgiveness. I am not here to try to convince anyone that doesn't like me to change their opinion.

I've learned after all these years that in this situation I always am going to be seen as the one at fault. It doesn't matter what I say. Any kind of defense or argument is going to always be accused of "silencing" her.

And, if I keep quiet, like I did for all of these years, that would be interpreted as me "keeping quiet because it confirms the truth". And she'll continue accusing me of more and more absurd things.

So then, like I said, this is not an apology, it's clarification. A report detailing everything that happened, point by point, about all of the events that were "exposed" by my ex-girlfriend. And from there, you all can draw your own conclusions.

I know that even after everything that I write here, many people are still going to refuse to consider the other side of things. There is an image that has been constructed of me, where I am a psychotic monster, which is difficult to erase. But this document isn't for the people who believe in that. This clarification is for those who have always been willing to understand.

I just want people to finally hear my story and take away what they will from it. I am no longer going to let this destroy the lives of the people that I love in the same way that it destroyed mine.

ASEXUALITY AND THE SEXUAL ASSULT ACCUSATION

I am going to begin by directly responding to the accusation that is making me publish this report after all of these years of silence. I have never been accused of something as absurd as this, and I am completely certain that I can PROVE that it is IMPOSSIBLE that this claim is real.

After years accusing me of countless things, for the first time my ex-girlfriend has decided to accuse me of an unforgivable crime. She posted a tweet that mentions me by name, implying that I sexually violated her.

Without any proof, after years of making one exposure after another, trying to destroy my image and my life, she's finally decided to call on a lie about the worst thing that she can:

[A tweet from a fan and a reply from the ex-girlfriend]

(Fan) "I'm never going to forget the details she gave about how insane it was to give pussy to Cellbit because his dick was thick"

(Ex-girlfriend) "I really want you guys to stop reviving the sexual assault that I sufferered without having any understanding of things, as if it's funny. Unfortunately, I thought it was normal to feel pain and suffer a shitload of pressure to feed into his self-esteem publicly, and so I said shit that I thought would please him. You all should be embarrassed, bunch of assholes."

I am asexual.

All of my personal friends have known for many years that I am asexual, and I had mentioned it before in some different places publically. My sexuality was never a subject that I spoke much about, but was also never something that I tried to hide.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and an unnamed individual, dated 27th July, 2020.]

(Cellbit) "[Fans on YouTube] made a compilation of all the times I've shown being asexual on the internet"

(unnamed) "afkahfkhfks amazing / people are talking about that / you're fine with it?"

(Cellbit) "It doesn't matter to me, I won't have to suffer prejudice for it if I don't reveal it directly / despite wanting to eventually, only for those who are able to comfortably accept it as is"

(unnamed) "I understand / If one day you want to, you should speak about it. I think that it's more of a positive thing than a negative tbh lmao"

To be brief, this doesn't mean that I cannot have sex, but I simply don't have interest or desire to.

[An image of a youtube video thumbnail and title. The thumbnail is of Cellbit with a quote that says "I don't like to have sex," the title is "Cellbit, are enigmas better than sex?" the video is dated to four years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I've always been like this, ever since I was a child. And, despite being interested romantically in people and falling in love normally, I do not feel the desire to have sexual relations of any kind.

I always grew up feeling that there was something different about me in contrast to other people. I questioned my sexuality a lot, not understanding if I was gay or if there was something physically wrong with me, and I thought that maybe I would understand everything once I lost my virginity. This happened with my ex-girlfriend, and ever since that first time I had sex, I knew that this was really just the way I am. I began researching, reading about asexuality on the internet and talking with a psychologist about it.

Despite this, I can have and have had sexual relationships in my life. I just don't feel any desire or physical need to have sex.

Including, actually, that I have a healthy sex life with my current girlfriend.

My ex-girlfriend is now accusing me of sexual assault. We had sexual relations consistently, always when she wanted, it was always her who initiated, and she always told me that there was something wrong with me. It was a topic that she repeatedly brought up to humiliate me around friends, as well. Sometimes as little jokes, but other times in much more exposing ways. On one occasion, for example, we went out with some friends and she asked for one of them to give me a "lesson on sex" so that I "do things more enthusiastically."

She also constantly would tell me that I should go to be examined and get medical treatment to try and "fix" me. All of the sexual relations that I had with her went until she felt satisfied, and then she would tell me to finish up alone.

I talked with her numerous times about being asexual when we were together. I mentioned that I'd spoken about it in therapy and that I was reading more about it in online communities. She didn't believe that it was possible, and insisted that I had something wrong with me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018. This is a repeat image of one that appears earlier in the document]

(ex-girlfriend) "There isn't a normal way to ask about this / I'm just curious / are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "As in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

Even after we ended our relationship, when we spoke again in 2018, she still invalidated my sexuality.

I lost count of how many times she made me feel obligated to have sex with her, even when I clearly didn't want to, just so that she would feel satisfied, because of the fear that if I didn't do it, she would cheat on me.

Even knowing that it was a matter I didn't want disclosed, she still spoke publicly about our sex life just to make me feel more pressured to "go and see what's wrong with me sooner."

[A screenshot of a video with the thumbnail most of the way cut out, titled "Cellbit's girlfriend talking about his dick", dated 6 years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I couldn't understand exactly why she decided to lie about something that she knew I would never have had the capacity to do.

THE ABUSE THAT I SUFFERED

In addition to all of that, I had been sexually abused when I was 9 years old by my neighbor when I lived inland in the countryside, and she knew about this. This is a story that I avoided speaking about the most that I could, I never had the courage to even tell this to my mother, and my ex KNEW that I NEVER wanted to disclose this to the whole internet, no matter what happened. It was something that left me with massive trauma that is still very difficult to talk about.

Very few people in my social circle know about this, because it's something that pains me greatly to remember. In 2019, I also told part of the story to some mods and people in my off-stream chat community that I trusted.

[A series of chat history messages from Cellbit, dated to 19th May, 2019.]

"The older person wasn't a man / ...... / The story starts in the chicken coop / when I, my neighbor [redacted], who was the same age as me, and his older sister were playing wedding / I was the groom, she was the bride, and [redacted] was the minister / Their parents had left the house and it was just us three in the chicken coop of the abandoned train station house / After the ceremony, we didn't kiss, but me and the girl went into their parent's bedroom to have a "honeymoon" / but, I was only 9 years old and didn't know what sex was / I just knew that people got naked on a bed / so [redacted] stayed outside of the room, and me and his sister got naked on the bed, rubbing against eachother pretending that we were having sex. I thought that that was actually real sex and was mortified, she was a lot older and I didn't know why she was doing that"

And now, YEARS AFTER living that hell, being humiliated different times by her, questioning my own sexuality, feeling used, she makes a post implying that I committed the worst and most disgusting crime that exists. A crime that I suffered through.

A person that she KNOWS would never be able to commit that. But she feels free to accuse me because until today I have always kept silent.

Accusing me of something that was literally never mentioned by her before, suddenly, on the week that I am going to participate in an international award ceremony. It's something that comes up in a new story that she deletes soon after giving people just enough time to take a screenshot, like she always does.

She always alleged that we had a toxic relationship, but now, in 2024, she accuses me of sexual assault, without any kind of proof, and never having spoken about that before in all these years.

Even after 7 years, she continues controlling my life, forcing me to publicly humiliate myself and talk about the most intimate side of my life, making me expose my sexuality and the fact that I was abused when I was a kid, just to be able to prove that I would never do something as terrible as that.

For me, this is the limit.

I have always had empathy and concern for her, and she never stopped. I just want to live my life in peace.

THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE OTHER ACCUSATIONS

I met my ex-girlfriend in 2015, at an event called XMA 2015. I had a panel to talk with some followers and take some photos after. During these events, all of the guests stayed separated in some rooms where we could talk. There, I met her for the first time and we very quickly began to flirt with eachother.

[An article heading titled "XMA Mega Arena 2015: Event assembling champions and stars of e-sports" the subtitle reads "Fans of the main e-sports titles are able to watch the championships of the major Brazilian gaming teams," dated to the 1st of May, 2015]

[A video thumbnail titled "XMA - day 1," dated to 8 years ago. It is set 6:48 into the video, a woman can be seen on camera from waist to chin]

My ex-girlfriend present at the event in a video:

[A link to the above described video, which is included in the original document] - Video proving that she was at the event.

[An article headline with the title "XMA Mega Arena 2015 | Youtubers are a big attraction in an e-sports event," the subtitle reads "On the first day of the event, content creators call more attention than the champions", a quote at the top of the article reads "Man, do you guys know if Cellbit is going to leave to give autographs?" dated to 1st May, 2015. A link to this is included in the original document]

An interview that I gave at the event, proving that I was there.

We chatted for around 30 minutes, I had just turned 18 and had never had a partner. She was older, 20, and had already had various boyfriends before. We got eachother's numbers on WhatsApp, and I left to do my panel. At the end of the event, we encountered eachother again and continued talking a bit more.

During that night, I went to send a message to her and noticed that her WhatsApp profile picture was a selfie of a man, not her. I thought that she had given me the wrong number, but I sent a message and in a few seconds saw her changing her avatar to a photo of her and responding to me soon after.

I asked who it was in that photo, and she said that it was a joke that she was doing pretending to be a friend. We continued flirting and exchanging messages for some time, until someone informed me that she apparently had a boyfriend.

She was dating a professional LOL player, and had gone to the XMA event as his companion. His team was participating in the championship of the event.

[A low quality image of an information page about XMA 2015, including the location and date of the event, and some teams]

The LOL championship at XMA that her boyfriend was playing in

When I asked about this, she told me that he was just a fling (he wasn't, they were dating), but that she was going to end the relationship soon because she claimed that he "was rude to her." She said that she was just waiting for the right moment to be finished with him because he "was in a championship and she was going to affect his career."

While this was happening, she asked me to travel to her city so that we could meet. It was there that, a few days later, we found ourselves in Monte Alto, a small town in the countryside where she lived, and we stayed together in an inn.

[An image of a travel ticket for Cellbit, dated to 13th May, 2015]

Fare to Monte Alto, 10 days after meeting her at the event

[A post by the ex-girlfriend, dated 28 May, 2020. A link to this is included in the original document]

"I lived in Monte Alto"

It was in this inn that she cheated on her boyfriend with me, and was then that I lost my virginity, believing that she already wasn't speaking with him anymore. As it was my first time, she was constantly complaining and making jokes about me being inexperienced.

That was the day that I started to understand that I am asexual, something that would become important later on in our relationship.

We continued our relations for a few more weeks, where she would always give excuses for the reason she had not broken up with her boyfriend yet, saying that she was almost finished, that there was just one more game of his, it was just one more weekend.

Eventually, she asked me to help her write a breakup message for her boyfriend in a skype call, and finally we could have a "real relationship." But, the damage was already done, and I just hadn't noticed yet. I still didn't have any idea what I was getting into, and she was my first girlfriend. I was in love with a person who was manipulating and lying to her previous boyfriend, while she did the same thing to me.

Some of the people in the LOL scene who had met her informed me that she used to "switch boyfriends quite frequently" and that they had heard stories about cheating before.

That whole situation left me extremely traumatized and paranoid, but this was only the beginning.

A few months passed, we dated long distance for some time, and afterwards the two of us moved to São Paulo into different apartments. She was living with her sister and studying at college, and I moved in with some friends into an apartment.

All of this initial context is important for what came later.

HER ACCUSATIONS

In the accusations that she made after we broke up, the events have always been distorted and described in an ambiguous manner, using words like "abuser" and "aggressor" in order to give the understanding that what happened may or may not have been some kind of assault.

Among other things, she said that: "I kicked her out of the house," that she "was locked in a bathroom," that I called her names and that I "threw her things away."

All of these stories are distortions of one singular event.

On the contrary from what she insinuated when she said that "I kicked her out of the house," we never lived together. She was 20 minutes away from me, though she slept at my house sometimes, because we were dating.

During our relationship, she was constantly telling stories about a specific ex-boyfriend. An abuser who did cocaine, sexually harassed her, broke into her house, threatened to kill himself to stay with her, and that she'd had to call the police on him before. She said that she had him blocked everywhere, but that he still tried to talk with her after years, and had even followed her back to her house one time.

Eventually, in a moment where we were together, she was using her phone beside me and a Facebook Messenger notification appeared on the screen. It was a message sent by this ex, who I'd heard numerous stories about being a psychotic abuser, apparently responding to a message from her. I have never in my life seen someone swipe a message off the screen as fast as she did in that moment.

That was that day I discovered it wasn't just that she hadn't blocked him, but that they were talking about possibly getting back into a relationship. All of those messages were from the same week, as she was still dating me.

I confronted her for cheating on me, then, and told her to leave my apartment and go home. She began to scream and cry, shoved me, slapped me in the face, and locked herself in the bathroom saying that she wouldn't leave.

She used to hit me constantly, which back then I believed was "normal" because it was my first relationship. I thought that all girlfriends must hit their boyfriends, and even more so because she was a woman and smaller than me. At that time I didn't consider it to be "actual assault," even if it did hurt me.

Even with her slapping me and shoving me more than once, I never fought back or laid a finger on her.

I knocked on the bathroom door saying that she needed to gather her things and leave my house, and she refused. This is the story that she turned into "I locked her in the bathroom"- since, because the bathroom key was kept inside the bathroom, it would have been impossible for this, and illogical to lock a person outside of the bathroom while I was trying to break up with them for cheating on me.

As she'd refused to leave, I said that I would leave her things at the exit of the apartment and when she decided to go she could look for them there. I then put her bag in the building's garage. This was what she made into "I threw her things away."

[A tweet by the ex-girlfriend]

"He woke me up, angry because I warned a friend not to talk to him anymore because my ex was jealous, so he kicked me out of the house without shoes and threw my things in the apartment's garbage."

And yes, I did call her names when I discovered that she was cheating. And she called me just as many as I called her, if not even more. She'd make me feel like a monster no matter what'd happened, literally inventing things that I never said and making me believe I said things that I don't remember saying.

After that, we stayed apart for some months, but still kept in contact and saw eachother a few times. She invented dozens of different excuses, from "It wasn't exactly that and I understood wrong" to "She was just talking to her ex then because she was scared that he would do something to me."

She always knew exactly what to say and how to manipulate things in a convincing manner. Eventually, we went back to dating again, but obviously my psyche was already completely destroyed.

With the passage of time, our relationship kept getting worse and worse. I would catch her lying about little things compulsively and all of the time. I noticed that she would always change some details in stories she told, she constantly talked shit about all of her friends and mainly about her best friend at the time, or other specific things that didn't make sense like saying she'd never felt attraction for any man besides me.

At events, she would say that other streamers were hitting on her, just to see my reaction, and in one situation in particular, she flirted with another influencer so much that he tried to kiss her in front of me. Then when I confronted him, he justified it by saying she'd implied that we had an open relationship.

Besides this, she continued having more and more violent outbursts, often in public over small things, such as yelling at me in the middle of a restaurant with my friends because I put ketchup on the side of the fries plate without asking for permission from her, and then calling an uber and leaving.

Or even to the point of creating situations to blackmail me with, like hiding the notebook I was using for work and refusing to give it back to me until I'd done what she wanted.

Another one of her stories included a party where I "abandoned her and left"- at this party, we had a fight after I saw her giving her number to a guy she'd just met while I was in the bathroom. She justified this with "He looked sad so she went to talk to him and let him know that if he needed anything he could send her a message." After that, I went to the other side of the party, and when I came back, I could not find her anywhere. I looked everywhere for her and nobody had seen or knew where she was. I had her phone with me, and searched the party for almost an hour without finding her. I thought that she'd maybe gotten a taxi home or hitched a ride with someone. An hour later, a friend of hers dropped her off at my apartment and she said that she had been on the second story of the party (which was a closed off section, there was no party there, I never would have thought of going up to the second floor to look for her) venting and talking with a friend.

She also claimed that I wasn't supportive and that I tried to hinder her from creating content on the internet, when all of the first edited vlogs on her channel were recorded on my camera, and I was also the one to teach her to edit her own videos.

She made me believe that I was dependent on her, that I would never find someone who really loved me, that all of the others would only stay with me for the interest and the followers. And I believed her.

Eventually, after two years of an extremely toxic relationship, I finally decided to break up with her in 2017.

Even after we ended our relationship she continued her behavior of compulsively lying and manipulating. In the same month that we ended our relationship, she got together with another influencer that she had been talking with for a while. In 2018, while she was still dating him, she would secretly talk with me and say that she still loved me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex, dated 9th July, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "You were enough [text that is cut off on the screenshot] / just for understanding who I was / or laughing at my jokes / or staying with me / etc"

(Cellbit) "I love you / sorry that's fucked up"

(ex-girlfriend) "I love you too / eh, [I'm] equally fucked up JFDKSJKA / It's too intense to ignore"

(Cellbit) "But I could never stop fucking loving you, Flavia"

(ex-girlfriend) "Okay, look, I already knew this / IQ of 220"

(Cellbit) "And I know that you have a boyfriend and I never wanted to intrude or say anything because I know how unfair that would be for you"

Including, we had NUMEROUS conversations about our relationship where we asked for forgiveness from one another. Even with her publicly saying that "we'd never resolved it" in her livestreams, we talked normally as if everything was fine.

This is literally the last interaction that we had before she blocked me and did the streams claiming that I was a psychopath who destroyed her life:

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 4th August, 2018]

(Cellbit, in English) "Hey / ummm / I love you and think you are [incredible] okay. Maybe today is a normal day but I want you to remember that when you are feeling down or anxious or sad. I dunno, okay bye sleep well / Also this really looks like a drunk message but I swear I'm sober / [audio message] Here's Tingrinho being a little engine as proof"

(ex-girlfriend) "WHAT A CUTE PURR / and really, thank you / c:"

The last interaction before all of the exposures in which she claimed that "we'd never resolved it" and never talked about it.

After everything, she still had the capacity to use my depressive period and exposing my suicide attempt as a way to VILLAINIZE me. It was the worst time I went through in my life. I couldn't work, I started doing drugs for some months, and could only think about committing suicide every day. I only made it through alive because my BEST FRIEND went rushing to my house to save my life.

It's something that I am always going to be grateful for, something that I am never going to be able to forget, and something that he also never spoke about because he knew that it was something I was trying to forget. It was an extremely traumatic period in my life and I promised that I would never relive it.

Another story that I NEVER wanted to have to tell, and one that she EXPOSED on a livestream of hers, like somehow me trying to kill myself was proof that I am a monster.

And even after all of this, I continued my silence, watching her distort everything that we'd lived and transforming me into a monster for all of the internet, scared that if I responded, everything would become 10 times bigger and worse, and the internet would make both of our lives hell.

When I gave an interview on the program of another influencer and was asked what the reason was for the breakup, I tried not to start a war or create gossip, giving a generic answer, saying that we went our ways and that everything was fine, because we really were talking normally. My ex used this to villainize me, saying that I was trying to lie about our relationship in the interview in order to "erase my wrongs."

[A messaging string between Cellbit and the interviewer, dated 4th August, 2019]

(Interviewer) "Man, this bullshit is all exploding, do you want to speak about this with me?"

(Cellbit) "Hey, [redacted] first off I'm very sorry that you got stuck in the middle of this without having any relation to it / So, about your video, this is by far one of the most unfair things in this whole story, because she made it out as if it was a lie, but everything I said was 100% true. / Or at least that was what I thought at the time, that we had everything resolved and were both fine on our own. / Considering, she and I used to talk just fine on WhatsApp"

(Interviewer) "Magical. I imagine that she was insulted by me because of the video"

Explaining to the interviewer that what I said was true and that we were speaking normally, like the screenshot above proves, despite her not believing it.

I was always scared that everything would become a circus, everyone watching as two lives collapsed, when all that I wanted was for her to be fine and leave me in peace.

After we broke up, I spent years without being able to have a relationship of any kind with anyone, holding on to numerous traumas, believing that I would never be able to trust other people again, and that I was never going to find someone who would accept my asexuality.

It took more than 3 years to be able to finally trust in someone again, and today I am in a new relationship of almost 4 years. An extremely healthy relationship that showed me what it really means to be able to trust in someone, and has made me into someone who becomes better every day.

But, once again, like has happened many times every year, my ex-girlfriend continues reviving and creating new stories every time something relevant happens. If I'm canceled for being an asshole and banning a guy playing Tetris, if another creator is canceled for an abusive relationship, or if I'm a participant in an important international award ceremony, she appears once more, posting something about the subject, and deleting the tweets some time later to remain in the role of someone who is being attacked and "not left in peace." Just like she's probably going to do again now.

With the passage of time, she has gone from distorting events to inventing completely new things, until at this point even the public is starting to question her motive for bringing up the same topic again and again, like saying that I "controlled what she ate" or that I "tracked her location with GPS" which are complete lies.

She also enjoys blaming me for things that I don't have the smallest relation to, like saying that my fans made her lose her Instagram and "lose job opportunities," when in reality her Instagram account was reported when she was canceled for a post complaining about an event and was mocked by various influencers and sites.

[An Instagram post by the ex-girlfriend]

"I did an event with them, two days to earn 1500 reals. They gave me the cheapest room in the hotel. IT DIDN'T HAVE ROOM SERVICE- dinner options were risotto or lasagna (both microwave meals) and I had to get it downstairs. I have half a million followers and I seriously felt like a nobody."

The post of hers that resulted in the mass report that deleted her Instagram

Another thing that keeps being said incessantly on the internet is that I "never suffered any consequences even after she exposed all of that"- I lost dozens of contracts from all of the publicity agencies and producers that closed their doors on me and never invited me back to events or ads. But, I never publicly complained or disclosed this, because more than once that has resulted in a war involving the public.

All that I could do was keep working and keep believing that at some point this would all end. But everything that happened caused a surge of hate against me which generated accusations of various very serious and unacceptable crimes that random people on the internet all believed I'd committed, even without having any proof at all.

And I will not stand this any longer. I cannot put up with this knowing that my mother receives threats and terrible DMs, seeing people telling my girlfriend to kill herself or cheering for her to be abused in order to confirm the theories and accusations of my ex-girlfriend and see "Cellbit exposed once again"

[Three tweets from fans, all responding to one tweet made by Cellbit's girlfriend addressing the ex's allegations]

"In a max of 2 years she's going to post that Cellbit ruined her life with psychological problems, that he was abusive and forced her to post this"

"I hope you get fucked a lot!!! You and your shit boyfriend"

"Guys, remember when he attacked his girlfriend? Go fuck yourself Cellbit, kill yourself you piece of shit"

And I'm going to continue prosecuting everyone who continues to invent lies about me on the internet, it doesn't matter how much the engagement. If you have something to say, it's best to have proof you can take to court. It took me too long to understand that I didn't need to stay silent in the face of the atrocities that were said about me, and I am not going to stop again now.

They have already destroyed my image and my life on the internet, but I am not going to let this continue with the people close to me. I want to be happy with the people that I love, and I am not going to accept being treated like a criminal any longer.

She accused me of sexual assault, something that could end me publicly, believing that I would likely not respond because I have never responded before. She was not accusing me of being a mean, jealous or possessive boyfriend like she always used to, she accused me of a serious crime.

And now, she's going to set herself back into a position where this document is an attack on her, when all that I am doing is defending myself from the worst false accusation that has been made against me, of a crime.

I want to make it CLEAR: this document is NOT an attack or an attempt to induce hade against anybody. I am simply defending myself and giving my statement of the facts that happened. I DID NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS, but it was the only way to be honest and true to all of the people who have supported my projects and my community.

I know that people who already disliked me, whatever their reason, are still not going to believe me. Like I said, I am not here to try and change anyone's opinion.

In the end, here in this document is the proof of a pattern of lying and manipulative behavior that has happened with many people before me and that continues to happen with me repeatedly. I just want to live in peace knowing that I finally accounted for all that I experienced, and leave the space for people to draw their own conclusions.

[mermaidfanficlibrary]

You should do some owl house HCs, I think it would be very cool! :)

Not sure this is a request or not buutt imma take it that way!

Characters: Luz, Amity, Hunter, Gus, Willow, King, Eda, Lilith

CW: None

Theme: General head cannons being their partner/friend/child

Reader: Gender Neutral

A/U: none

Premise: How you're relationship is with the toh characters (its platonic with king, eda, and lilith) and set before season 3

THIS IS SFW!

LUZ

The confession was sort of a mutual thing

You two confessed at the same time and it wasn't planned at allq

Luz is the kind of girlfriend to do all the silly things with.

She loves taking you on spontaneous dates and do random activities that don't really make sense

She loves to teach you how to use glyphs

Luz also loves to read her favorite book series with you

Nature dates are her favorite because it just means alone time between you two and nothing to overwhelming

She's great to have around when you're sad

Brings you anything you need

Loves to cuddle you when you're sad or crying

Words of affirmation are her best friend

Sometimes she thinks you're better than her and its a thought she doesn't like having

Will go to you about it though and you two talk it out

Cringy movie marathons are another thing you two would do together

When she's sad, she doesn't tell you on account of showing her feelings is something she struggles with

You do notice her patterns of when she is sad though after a few months of being with her

You confront her about it and help her talk it out

After you both watch silly internet videos and try to see which of your friends is like them the most

Her mom things you're the sweetest ever and loves to talk to you

She thinks of you as like a guard for her daughter emotionally wise

As in you report to her if Luz is feeling upset, only with Luz permission to share though

AMITY

You were the one who had to make the first move and confess because she didn't know how nor could she bring herself too

She thought you would find her weird at first but was in shock when you told her that you liked her

Amity is the kind of girlfriend who likes to chill at home or in a secluded spot like a library

Physical touch startles her so handholding is a good start for her

When you first kissed her though she lost her mind and tried to think of a reason why you would do that

Amity loves to read to you and tell you stories of her family, mainly Ed and Emira's shenanigans

She doesn't mind any date idea as long as your there with her

If you have pierced ears then you would get matching earrings

You two paint each other's nails and just talk

Amity doesn't know what to do when your sad since she wasn't taught how to healthily deal with them

But she will try and hug you and talk it out

Its hard for her to face you when she finds herself feeling sad

She doesn't want you to think she's weak and make fun or her

But once you catch on you reassure her and comfort her

She finds it weird and self deprecates herself in front of you saying she's weak for making you put up with her

You show her silly cat videos to help her feel better

She tries to deny the fact that it helps her, but it really does

She's afraid of you meeting her family but mostly her mom

You first met her dad and he actually liked you and would vouch for you if you were to meet Amity's mom

Whenever her mom asks about you, Amity sort of panics and tries to avoid her whenever she sees her when your with her

WILLOW

She actually confessed to you first, but it was accidental

Willow just came up to you and you two started debating who liked who more and she accidentally said she loved you

Both of you were blushing so hard and so you said she won

As a reward she won you as a partner

It was a really cute interaction in all actuality

Forest dates and butterfly gardens are a must for her

She loves to gush about all the different plants that are around you both

She's the kind of girlfriend to just take things very slow and calm taking in consideration your boundaries

Whenever your sad she always brings you bright and color flowers that had silly inspirational quotes Luz gave her

She would also teach you coping skills that helped her

If she's sad, she's not afraid to tell you

She is really open about what is making her upset and you help her talk through it

Sometimes you help her go through the coping skills she taught you

To help her feel better you hold her and tell her how amazing she is

You two are plant parents all the way and you give the plants silly names

Once you named one of her plants Deryl that was when all the silly name saga started

Adores when you call her a witch and shut down any off hand comments about her

Her parents absolutely adore you

She was a bit embarrassed at first because they were telling you stories about when she was a younger kid

Warmed up to you and her parents interacting and loved having you over and talking with them

GUS

He confessed to you first with Willow's help

It was planned out and sort of excessive but it was the best way he could get his message across

Lots of illusions were used as decorations and words that said "I Like You Y/n!" with firework hearts

You accepted his confession of course and he was over the moon

Gus is the type of boyfriend to want to go to amusement parks and concerts with you

Or just simple Cafes that he finds interesting

It all depends on your mood in all honesty

He loves to show you all his illusions he has been working on and all the goofy things you request becoming a reality

He loves hearing you praise him for all the hard work he has been doing since it's something he sort of needs to hear

Not many tell him that but hearing it from you is so heart warming

When you're sad, he catches on right away

He makes silly little illusions of things that make you giggle

And sometimes mini Guses to remind you how much he cares and loves you

When he's sad its hard to catch

He is sort of a master at hiding his emotions and isolating himself from others so no one can really catch him crying

But when you do find him you are quick to reassure him and help him breathe

He appreciates you greatly for being there and helping him through hard times

Meeting his dad was a tough thing to do

Since Gus's dad seemed to be pretty busy with work, it was hard to catch him on a free day

But once you and his dad did meet, it was an instant click and Gus is glad his dad approves of you

HUNTER

You had to be the one to confess first

There was no way Hunter would be able to confess to you, especially with his pride

So when Flapjack was pushing Hunter to a place that wasn't near the city he was concerned

But when Hunter saw you he was put at ease

Literally cried when you told him you liked him more than a friend

Hunter is the type of boyfriend who would be happy just with you holding his hand anywhere

No matter where you go, he's content as long as you're there with him

He sometimes get insecure because there isn't much he can show you that is cool magic wise

But when there's a fight and your there, he does show off a bit

His top priority would be protecting you

Whenever you're sad, he is unsure what to do

The only thing he can really do is hug you and just shut down any negative thoughts you have about yourself with compliments

When it comes to him though, he is scared to be sad in front of you

He was taught to hold his emotions in and not be a burden to any one

So when you confront him about it, he just breaks and spills, with much regret of doing so

However you help him calm down and talk about what has been bothering him

You bring him outside to just watch the sky to help him feel better

He is afraid of his uncle finding out abut him being with you

Mainly because of the fear of his uncle hurting you or using you as a manipulative mechanism

So never ever going to meet Belos and he prefers to keep it that way

KING

Being King's bestest friend means that you are his number one

And being his number one means you being his 2nd in command

He loves when you play with him and give him 100% of your attention

His brain explodes when you actually want to learn about demons

Some one is actually interested and he didn't have to beg them?

He does make you take notes but nothing serious

Just your favorite demon and why

He does get sort of jealous when someone else occupies your time but he has his ways of distracting you

Plan A being throwing Francois at you and asking if you've seen his plush

Plan B would be sitting in your lap and just napping there forcing you to stay there with him

You just giggle at his antics because its not hurting anyone and he just wants your attention

Loves when you include him in your activities

Loves it more when you don't get upset at him for making simple mistakes

Cuddles are a must when you're sad

As well as a tea party with all his henchmen

If its a matter he can't really help with or has no knowledge in then he'll get Luz or Eda, whoever is closest and not occupied with something

Whenever he's sad, you are the first to know because he runs to you

He hugs you and you cuddle him really closely

You don't leave him alone until he feels better and when he does he still clings to you

Eda and Lilith adore you and thank you for keeping King busy while they have important things to do

EDA

It was odd that you happened to worm your way into Eda's heart so fast

It was quicker than Luz and that's saying something

She loves having you around and not just because you're free labor to her

She feels at ease a lot more with you around and like the curse isn't there

She was scared when you first saw her owl beast form

You weren't scared of her though and listened to Luz to have the cure close to you

Whenever you go on adventures, she isn't far behind watching over you

She is always ready to jump in if a situation gets violent

People see you as her keeper in a sense of keeper her chilled out

She considers you her child at this point

She'll drag you to do chores with her or for her, it all depends on her mood

Whenever Eda's around people can expect you to not be so far behind

People also know to leave you alone unless they want an angry owl lady on their hands

Whenever your sad she ties to bring you whatever comfort she can

But of course is a bit awkward when it comes to hugging

Bring in the cheesy words Luz taught her

When ever she is sad though she hides it real well

It takes a lot of convincing to talk about her feelings but when she does you are there to bring whatever comfort you can

Eda knows King loves being with you and considers you his sibling

Lilith is concerned about you spending so much time with Eda and how she might be impacting you but none the less she thinks your a good kid and you'll make the right decisions (which you wont)

LILITH

Its even a bigger surprise to get Lilith to become so attached to you

She loves how attentive you are

You actually take interest in subjects that she learns and reads about

She teaches you all sorts of things and of course notes are a must

Lilith just doesn't want you to forget the information you were given

Loves to take you on small outings to little cafes and chores

She considered you her child after a month of knowing you

Protecting you is a must

Oh you're going somewhere? Well not without Lilith

It takes a lot to convince her to stay put and when she says she'll stay, she's actually lurking spying on you

If someone even lays one harmful hand on you she is out and ready to fight

You somehow get Lilith to lighten up and agree to more things that she really wouldn't

When Lilith finds you sad she is immediately there with a bunch of blankets and ice cream

Lilith is actually a really good person to gossip too and she always makes it funny

Finding her sad is a really rare thing though

She is used to dealing with her emotions on her own and that hasn't changed

But on the rare occasions where she shows you some vulnerability you give her all the comfort you can

Hugs and cuddles as well as words of affirmation and she is so grateful for you

Eda is glad that you're helping Lilith out of her stiff shell a bit and showing more emotion than she used too

Hooty becomes your closest friend as well as King but Hooty more because Lilith drags you to their conversations when she visits The Owl House

[drbigtime]

Interview with... Meredith (part 2)

When and how did you realize that tickling was more than just a game for you?

Probably when I realized I kept going back to look up tickling on the internet, and just kept fantasizing about the new and exciting things I was seeing.

Is there a particular relational dynamic (friendship, couple, family,...) in which you feel more comfortable expressing this passion?

I feel more confident in sharing these feelings of mine with people Im dating as opposed to family and friends. I prefer to keep it private

Have you ever met people who don't understand or judge this passion? How did you handle the situation?

I havent brought it up with any who probably do, so no comment really.

How does tickling create connection and intimacy with people?

It's rooted in being an intimate activity.

Close quarteres, wrestling, thrill, excitment, jitters... All of that boils together and creates laughter, voluntarily or not. On a surface level it's a very intimate thing, it only makes sense that for some people it can have a deeper rooted meaning.

Are there any rules or boundaries that you feel are necessary when tickling with someone?

Safe words, comfort levels, zones to avoid. There are tons. Boundaries are important and they need to start there. I'd say don't get discouraged if you find yourself making someone uncomfortable, just do your best to learn from it. Its my hope that everyone can at least be respecful when it comes to learning boundaries and learning from mistakes.

How would you describe your emotional and physical reaction during tickling sessions?

Thrill. Butterflies in my stomach, arousal building with a buzz of static electricity, waiting for that right spark to make me explode and lose control, just let myself laugh and laugh... The touch amplified by my hightened sensee. Teasy and flirtatious and they skitter in intimate areas. I can't help but feel turned on. It's as involuntary as the laughter.

Do you think tickling can improve people's moods? What are the psychological and relational benefits? can tickling fight negative stress?

All depends on the person.

There's a time and place for it. For example, if Im trying to fall asleep, the last thing I want is to be tickled. I don't think it can help with anger in the moment, but if you're feeling down or depressed, I think something intimate like some friendly tickling can cheer up the right person. It's not exactly unheard of to want to have sex/foreplay to relieve stress either.

Would you like tickling to be treated and “accepted” more openly? If yes, how? Yes. I'd prefer if tickling held the same status of spanking in a social forum.

Seen as kinky, not seen as weird or a red flag, willing to try it (usually), and not bragged about in the open like making out is, at least amongy young adults in that regard.

Have you found inspiration or comfort in online communities, forums or social media that talk about tickling? How have they helped and supported you?

Yes absolutely.

It just helps knowing youre not as alone as you feel you are.

It's refreshing to talk with SOMEBODY about a kink you havent openly shared with anybody. It's fun, and it's great supporting one another.

Others feel compelled to share their sessions and stories. I enjoy the aspect of writing fantasies, making memes, posting teases. It's all positivity in a reletive quite area of my private life. If you find cool people out there to share it with, it's such a beautiful thing.

What are the qualities you appreciate most in a person with whom you share this passion?

They have to be able to laugh at themselves, not be so sensitive.

I prefer people who are honest and direct with their intentions.

I like people I can tease and flirt with, but with the understanding that it simply is what it is; two adults having spicy talk about a mutual kink.

I don't like people who pussyfoot around what they want, or people that persist that they will have me in their stocks, or ask about how I'd dom them to ad nauseum.

If you're kind, respectful, and share like minded kinks I see zero reason why we cant get along great.

Thanks for your time, would you like to end our interview with a thought about it

Of course I had fun!

@prettymeredith

[natalchartnurtures]

Venus Got A Lil' Emotional Today

Note: This post might not give you anything new if you're at an intermediate or advanced level of being on the astrology wildride :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Water Venus, on a good day: "My heart is a vessel of boundless compassion, where tenderness and understanding blossom. My love is like water, an endless wellspring, and I am its gentle guardian."

Why?- Arguably one of the most precious placements, in my opinion, Water Venuses on their good days truly do God's work. They give themselves unconditionally to people they love, all while ensuring they take care of themselves as well. It's nurture and emotional intelligence at its peak in a social, interpersonal interaction setting. You can truly model what the internet calls a "healthy relationship": balanced, equal, loving beyond bounds, and, of course, filled with a generous dose of passionate romance.

Speaking of romance, it is the trademark of this placement. You can romanticize anything you like—your life, struggles, or crush; anything goes. It could help you get through a lot of life's uglier situations, you know? It's kind of like your coping mechanism. But, it's your superpower—your love. The depths with which you can hold someone—be it your partner, your child, your friend, or even your own parent in need—don't matter. The subject of your affections always gets your all. That is only IF you feel comfortable with the person. That's your boundary because you love yourself pure and deep; you need to have this layer of protection so you won't be taken advantage of (which is something a lot of Water Venuses on their not-so-good days experience).

Take, for example, how someone with a Scorpio Venus maybe wouldn't like to share themselves with just anybody because you all understand that not EVERYBODY has it in them to handle all that beautiful intensity, authenticity, and expression of deep passion. Your discernment is high because your vulnerability is powerful, and the level of trust required here is immense to support the deep intimacy on the level of the mind as much as on the level of the body. Hence the thick layer of mystery and secrecy around you all, especially in romantic settings, which makes you all look even more sexy to suitors caking on the OBVIOUS physical sexiness going on like, girl, I see you.

This energy also shows up as gentle nurturing paired with a fierce sense of protection for all things you care about. Cancer Venus tends to have an instinct to fight for what has a part of your heart. Motherly instincts if you may? But this placement really marries the fighter and the lover trope; it's mind-blowing, really. Here, Venus's love could be expressed in more emotional ways such as creating a safe space for emotional vulnerability or expressions of tenderness and nurturing of the other through whatever you enjoy nurturing other people with, like through cooking (to nurture loved ones physically), through deep conversations (mentally), or giving your loved ones tarot readings even? (Spiritually); whatever you define nurturing is applicable here.

And then again, a Water Venus could manifest as the dreamy, otherworldly, fantastical kind of love that is almost angelic in its frequency when realized in its higher octaves. You bet I'm talking about you, Pisces Venus. You have a wise kind of love that also simultaneously feels childlike and all-encompassing. Compassionate, forgiving, and devotional—the power of love meets the divinity of a human. Powerful as words can describe. This placement puts the unconditional in unconditional love :p; it's quite beautiful to see. And because of their characteristic lack of conditions when it comes to their way of loving, it's quite healing for the rest of us to experience their love, especially for the ones that have faced a tremendous amount of "conditional love."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for stopping by, kind soul :)

[kafkaoftherubble]

纯属自娱。

I told you Ada has messy salt-and-pepper hair, right?

All Ghouls have white hair regardless of their psychic competency or powers. Ada, however, is explicitly a failure as a Ghoul. Therefore, she has normal black hair for a pretty substantive amount of time. Her first adoptive parents, "Disillusioned Ex-Ghoul-Researchers" had found it peculiar because they had seen Emily, whose hair is white. Nonetheless, Ghouls had always been experimental, and just because one sample showed white hair (they have no idea F exists) doesn't mean all Ghouls should express the same phenotype.

That said, around age 12, A—as "Arete"—began to grow more and more strands of white hair between her usual black ones. They are sometimes incompletely white, too, much like normal young humans who occasionally grow hair with zig-zagged decolorization.

A young girl exhibiting hair you can only see from older folks did not help Arete's physical appearance, which was already pretty damn lackluster. It also attracted talks from tabloids and internet gossip. "Mr Politician's Strange, Old-Young Child."

It took only a month and a few discussions for the Politician and his strategic advisors + PR team to get Arete's hair frequently dyed black. They also often gave her makeup to make her look more presentable.

Following Arete unwittingly humiliating Politician and Politician's Wife in a state dinner, plus people making more and more speculations about her mental state, A experienced a soft exile and was gradually isolated from the family, showing up less and less in public until she was completely obscure. She stopped getting professional make-up artists to doll her up, though they still ordered her to dye her hair black.

Once A is emancipated at 18 and adopts the mononym "Ada," she also stops using hair dye. It's really to cut costs for her monthly budget since she isn't making a ton of money. Nor does she think she has the time to waste on her hair.

Ada's so desperate to be something "unique" that she even tries to reframe her apparent defect as "a moe point." In that sense, she tells herself (and debates with the Others) that her hair signifies her as an anime protagonist, and she's gotta be very "specialz" somehow. Or, as she puts it, "totes-cool-bets-you" (an attempted pun on とくべつ).

Don't beat her over it; she has almost no friends and needs some form of self-amusement now, right?

Is Japan an actual country/culture in this universe? Well, is Chinese one? Who knows?

----

I wrote this at 4:44pm. I thought I should give back to you somehow by scheduling things you might like in the hours when I'm asleep, too, like you do. I know it took some time out of my work and I really need that time, but I also just wanted to rebel against being turned into a slave for some capitalistic heartless client who cared not for my wellbeing. You care about my wellbeing. Doing things for you don't count as wasting time.

[ome-magical-ramblings]

Lineages of spirits: ropes from men and spirits.

... Ignominy shall be their portion wheresoever they are found save (where they grasp) a rope from Allah(Spirits) and a rope from men.  Quran 3:112

The meaning of this verse was specifically for the Israelites under the Islamic rulership but I'd like to expand the meaning and give a more esoteric view on it, we as the Israelites in this verse as a practitioner and someone learning magic, witchcraft and so on.

Spirits and humans aren't infallibles and that's something we have to keep in mind when we work with all of them. There are always jump of faith, jump of faith that the person talking with you isn't trying to exploit you for money or the jump of faith that the spirit you're talking to have your interest in mind as you have their interest in mind. It's nice to look at it as two polarity but that's a false dichotomy and there are MANY influence into this sphere. Some people get too bent on the psychicism of "oh I can do it myself" or "Oh I don't need a teacher I will figure it out myself", the self-initiation, and so on. I mean I am kinda self-initiated but not in every part of my practice and that's the important thing is that we can't rely on the astral for it all, and you can't just take the human words for it all. The other side of it is someone human, of flesh and bones who can talk to us, and speak to us as human and not as some pompous persona on the internet but someone who speaks with us as a normal person. A teacher, lineage, mentor, passing person, or a friends on the path are also important because they ground us, give us an avenue to talk, and we have this back and forth conversation going on. What is worse that we can also get stuck in our bubble, echo-chamber, in our based and cringe literature or this and that. We can get so stuck on our teacher that we forget their flaws, or get so stuck about our school that we don't think that our practice can improve outside of it. You can see where I am going with in this case, we can't rely TOTALLY on spirit interaction because our whole vocabulary will become so distorted by our own pre-spiritual culture that the word we use to describe our own experience won't be understandable for other people. We can't get too attached to our lineage because we might lose the helpful instructions and guidance we get out of it, in the same sense the system become the "The System" that Valentine Tomberg had a very apt way to describe it:

mysticism is the YOD of the Tetragrammaton, just as gnosis is the first HÉ, magic is the VAU—or “child” of mysticism and gnosis—and Hermetic philosophy is the second (final) HÉ [...] A person who has had the misfortune to fall victim to the spell of a philosophical system (and the spells of sorcerers are mere trifles in comparison to the disastrous effect of the spell of a philosophical system!) can no longer see the world, or people, or historic events, as they are; he sees everything only through the distorting prism of the system by which he is possessed. Yes, autonomous philosophical systems separated from the living body of tradition are parasitic structures, which seize the thought, feeling and finally the will of human beings. In fact, they play a role comparable to the psychopathological complexes of neurosis or other psychic maladies of obsession. Their physical analogy is cancer. Am I against learning from teachers? no, Am I against learning from Spirits? no, but there is some subtleness in the whole situation that's lost. In reality we always need guidance even in lack thereof finding someone to teach us as a teacher always, we can see guidance. It's not wrong to be misguided but what's wrong is charging ahead like it's nothing. "No, this person doesn't know what they're talking about, I will do it my own way" which is valid but then you have to realize that we are all cycling and going back throughout the year and seasons aiming to "grow" and transform rather than dying and "perishing". To cap all of this off, learn, listen, contemplate, widen your horizon and don't keep yourself locked in either boxes, there's more to the world.

[deviantartdramahub]

Not to kick a dead horse, but sense DADN's little minions are still desperately begging for the drama to stay alive, I decided a good way to push them further down the grave they've dug themselves is by pointing out something I've been thinking of talking about for a while.

So, yet another terrible thing about DADN is that they seem to support helicopter parenting. For example, remember when they urged me to talk all about Club to my mom, and then I made fun of them for it? Well maybe it's a genuine problem...

They seem to try to encourage kids to have no privacy, and think parents should be constantly looking at what their kids are doing. This is toxic for obvious reasons, bc of course parents should be doing their job to make sure their kids are safe, but there's a line between ensuring that and being, well, a helicopter parent. DADN crosses that line.

Me and other kids should be able to make friends on the internet without having to alert their parents EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. a new person interacts with them. They shouldn't have to tell the parents about every little detail about all the people they meet on the internet. Not only is this exhausting for kids to deal with while also denying them any privacy and freedom, but it also prevents any trust between the kid and all the friends they'll try to make, bc their friends won't be able to share anything without risking some other person knowing about it. The parents might judge said friends, or say rude things about them, and very possibly without a justified reason. There's also a chance a kid has bigoted parents, and by enabling said bigoted parents to helicopter their child, they'll never be able to achieve a safe space on there where they can find accepting people. imagine an LGBT kid wanting to block out the mental torture they deal with in their IRL family and find others like them, caring people who accept and understand them, and might even be in the same situation as them...or if a parent's just plain abusive in general and the kid wants to seek help or comfort from others, then people like YOU, DADN, step in and decide to push the kid to tell everything, or find a way for the parents to know about everything, and then the kid may be isolated, yelled at, having any source of comfort and happiness taken away, or may even be physically abused bc of any of it! You see where I'm getting at, right? Everyone HAS to see how damaging ALL OF THIS is, right??

I'm old enough to be on the websites I am, and my mom knows I talk to people, knows I have basic education of internet safety, knows I post art, ect, and that's good enough. She doesn't try to push more than what's required, bc she's an actual respectful mother. And I'm not gonna let you try to change anything about that. I may be lucky enough to have a mom like her, but there's HUNDREDS of kids who aren't. And allowing and encouraging their awful parents to helicopter those unfortunate children will do more harm than good at the end. I pray non of you ever have any children, I really do... -^-

And yes, I'm sure there's more examples than the one I provided, it's just I wanted to spend my effort on wording everything and providing all necessary points rather than remembering each example, the one I provided is good enough. Though if anyone would like to share more examples, that'd be lovely <3

That, combined with their antinatalism, makes it seem to some of us like they just hate kids.

[sevicia]

I made new OCs

and I'm gonna make it everyone's problemmm

From left 2 right:

Dentist - Rude, ambitious and proud. She excels at academics (any subject except language-oriented ones), but is physically weak and not very socially conscious. She has a fascination with teeth, which is why she is studying to be a dentist. Said fascination creeps out most of her classmates. Her current concern is making good connections at school. She's 21.

Candy - Cheerful, energetic and friendly. Loves bright colors, sweets and magical girl shows. She doesn't have a job and spends most days on the internet lurking in obscure internet forums. A lot of people like her, but she still has trouble making friends due to her tendency to forget most people she comes across. Her current concern is finding her calling in life. She's 19.

Poser - Shy, reserved and self-conscious. He's into dark, alternative fashion, but loves pop music, rom-coms and all things happy and bright. Has a lot of trouble speaking to people because of the gap between his appearance and likes. He doesn't notice, but a lot of people have a crush on him. His current concern is trying to enjoy heavier music to fit in more with his own appearance. He's 19.

Weirdo - Optimistic, awkward and loud. Tries very hard to make friends, but finds that most people avoid him due to the fact that he tries so hard. He will listen to anyone talk about anything, being interested in most things as long as it's someone else speaking. He doesn't have any strong interests of his own except for a few bands that he's into. Becomes shy when someone actually reciprocates friendliness. His current concern is learning how to control his volume when speaking. He's 20.

Bookworm - Calm, kind and polite. She's popular and well-liked, due to her willingness to help those in need. However, she only does it out of a sense of obligation and is reaching a point where she's tired of doing everyone favors. Her favorite activity is reading, with her favorite genres being classics, poetry and non-fiction. Is pursuing a literature degree. Her current concern is feeling like she'll explode at the next person who asks for help with their homework. She's 21.

Zombie girl - Shy, nervous and quiet. Fresh out of highschool, she is trying to convince her parents of letting her go to an art school to pursue a film-making career. Having always been into horror movies, particularly zombie films, she was regularly called creepy in school, causing her to become distrustful of others. She hates it when people shun zombies, calling them boring and/or overdone, and will defend them even if her voice trembles. Her current concern is cutting her bangs herself and having them turn out right. She's 18.

[rosyjuly]

@kritischetheologie tagged me for the 20 questions for writers game, thank you c!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

twenty!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,628. it's kinda insane that i wrote 51k under just six months last year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently only writing for f1, but i've published works for star wars, peaky blinders, the old guard and batman. on another account that has been liquidated many years ago i had footy rpf and teen wolf fics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

carry each other (hal jordan/bruce wayne), worked the blade (seb/mick), to the finnish line (seb/charles/kimi), spoils of war (seb/mick) and a favour returned (seb/lewis).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do, unless it only says "please write more of this", because i don't have anything polite to reply. but i love getting replies from authors too, so only fair to return the favor. there are definitely times when i just re-read a bunch of comments and they can really help to lift my mood or feel better about my writing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lmao that would be the prince au break up sex fic, someday to say out loud. making george ask alex to tell him he loves him even if it isn't true and ensuring that he can't and won't believe him... partly why it's hard for me to go back to writing prince au is because it was very easy for me to project my unmedicated depression onto george, and (thank god) i'm not in that place anymore.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmhh my star wars fic maybe? i'm not overly fond of happy endings, the best i deal out is a hopeful but kinda open ending. out of my f1 fic it's a favour returned, i guess -- there's some talk about longer term commitment and trying and failing to say that they like like each other, or consolation prize, where mick admits twice that he's been thinking about seb.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not in the classical sense i guess or not that i've seen.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

boy do i. i mostly write smut and use it as a catalyst to nudge a relationship to another level. i don't really get the what kind? question. what kinds are there? wholegrain?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

haven't written one yet, but i've been toying with the idea of an f1 and the expendables crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

if i had a nickel for every time someone pulled entire lines from a fic of mine and barely paraphrased them, i would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

on my old ao3 account, yes! i haven't been approached on the new one and i don't think i'd give permission now.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

prince au aka the myth of devotion with gabby @prettydangrotten. sorry to be sappy on main but galex truly one of the best things on the internet that's happened to me just for the friends i've made because of them :)))

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

all time? propably stiles/derek or eames/arthur from inception. also it was sterek that first got me to tumblr, back in like 2012 or something.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ugh right now it feels like i'll never finish anything again. but i have a long star wars wip that's like 75% done but i haven't touched for three years. there's a roc sebmick fic i started and i actually know how it should go from start to finish, but i've been struggling with writing this year, so, i don't know.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i've been told the internal struggle/tension that narrator is facing is pretty tight and i do agree :) i also think the porn i write is nicely physical and pretty hot.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

longfic. like. i wish i could do it -- i had a 54k wip on my old ao3 account -- but i don't have the energy or the commitment. this is also why i struggle with WTB and SOW -- i want to write more to both but i feel like they are snappy and valuable as they are and i'm worried i'll ruin that if i add more.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

english isn't my first langauge so all dialogue is in another language in fic for me. i'm not super fond of adding another language on top pf that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

teen wolf!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

spoils of war or prince au. prince au has probably the most of me and gabby is incredible and one of the best writers and kindest persons i know and i feel incredibly fortunate to have created something with her. spoils of war was a challenge on a lot of fronts but i'm proud of the storyline and it has some of the best lines i have ever written i think. and it got @antimonyandthyme and me very close :))

aaaand i'm gonna tag @prettydangrotten @des-iderate @grideon @antimonyandthyme and @husbono.

[1tsjusty0u]

ignore the follow thing i pressed the wrong button. link and paya. what happen. actually link's relationship with the champion successors/descendants

no….. my internet clout…!!!! IM…. FLOPPING… HOW COULD THIS BE…. (/joking)

AND GOOD QUESTION!! though i am sorry to say link and paya barely interact. if/when they do its around the later spectrum of the. timeline? story? but they just met once and that was kind of the extent of it. mmmaybe theyd both clean sometimes? if he does the shrine quest by helping people out. she. would be more friends with zelda probably. speaking of he might talk with her more mainly about a plan about. what now once the calamity is gone. and then ask for recipes <3. later arcs she might start to send letters out of worry once the calamity is “over” because he’d just kind of. disappear? i should clarify this isnt out of romantic love or anything (she was done so dirty and for what) but like. being kind of scared that a semi absent coworker or classmate just stops showing up. for awhile you might get used to it but eventually when the time passes youll have to ask where they went. she’d probably be blunt about asking in a . polite way. but yeah. zelda wise i think i think theyd just hang out sometimes. paya cant really be a substitute for ancient sheikah work but they just get along well enough that zelda initiates meetings by going “deconstructing (guardian) isvgoing badly. help” and itll basically be explaining code to a rubber duck deal. paya gives either a sanity check or a second perspective which is nice. and paya can talk about whats going on around her when its just a hangout session. i dunno i think they could make a neat duo especially when talking about problems/confronting them. when pushed hard enough paya wont give the polite/avoidant answer, and zelda could need the bluntness if that makes sense.

champions descendants!!!! honestly its. pretty well id say? uhhh firstly my link didnt get the thunder helm because well. thats Their Thing. so how this affects the. story? i dont know. but yeah its alright. he sees teba mostly by proxy, but teba is the one he sees the most. because he isnt like a royal person and hes Just Some Guy it makes talking a lot easier, both physically and mentally. riju hed… sort of see the second most? im genuinely debating whether or not link being able to get into gerudo town should be a thing in this au. i would like to redo gerudo town as a whole but that will take time. for now i like to think he just. gave a letter to one of the guards with the gist of it. and he completed the quest without ever going inside town. the only times hed really talk to her post that is if gerudo town is in need of resources that he can easily get, or ice. otherwise not many letters or anything, but theyre on pretty good terms. he sometimes gets to send fruit for patricia. next would be yunobo! youd think its be easier to talk to him however theyd both have nothing to talk about to each other. its basically friendly but silent terms unless necessary. last is sidon. i am so sorry sidon….. the only way theyd really interact is if sidon himself initiated the conversation/letter chain. otherwise with link actively avoiding zoras domain.. . the line blurs between friends and business partners for all of them. if they traveled together i think theyd all be better friends but i dunno if thats going to happen. they probably play a bigger. role?? in this au than im giving them credit for honestly. also i couldve sworn i had Thoughts but i forgot…… once the calamity is defeated i think itd be a bit of a mess, though how much of one i dont know

[sixminutestoriesblog]

rosemary

do not take my rosemary

do not take my rue

I am saving it for myself

and I have none left for you.

Rosemary is one of those hardy little plants that's been popping up in literature since we started writing about plants instead of wo/man-gods dipping into the underworld to check on their friends and/or lover/s (okay, it popped up at about the same time). It seasons our foods, invigorates our sense of smell and - if you're like me, is one of the only plants that will grow no matter what you do to it, bless its desperate little gnarly soul. When you're trying to find a plant to put over the grave of your newly deceased hamster that's not going to die five minutes after you plant them both, I found that rosemary is the only stalwart friend you can depend on to hang around. The ancient Egyptians knew what was up when they included the plant in their funerals.

So its fitting that rosemary symbolizes remembrance in a lot of cultures. Shakespeare uses it in several of his plays and I just read a Catalan fairy tale called The Sprig of Rosemary which is about, you guessed it, a sprig of rosemary. There's also a girl and a guy but that's not what we're talking about here. Rosemary has also been used medicinally for centuries, probably with the belief that anything that smells that pungent must do something. Strong smell goes beyond physical cures too. Let's talk folklore and superstition when it comes to rosemary.

Rosemary forms a protective barrier against witches in old European lore. It was also said to keep away bad dreams.

In England, wearing a bit of it in your buttonhole will sharpen your memory and help you accomplish your tasks.

American Appalachian tradition says that a tonic made out of rosemary helps the nervous system.

In France, a comb made out of its wood will help your hair grow.

Wooden rosemary spoons will make even the blandest food taste better (like the comb above one would assume that some of the oils rub out so there's a logic here).

It was often grown in monastery and nunnery gardens and was one of the herbs plague doctors stuffed the noses of their masks with. Smelly? Holy? A little bit of both?

and lastly, my two favorites.

dropping crushed rosemary into a barrel of beer will keep everyone that's drinking from it from getting drunk

and

rosemary only grows in houses where a woman is in charge (I wonder how many medieval wives lost their favorite herb when their husband heard about that and went on a weeding spree?)

so there you have it. Some interesting facts and rumors about rosemary. What stories have you heard about the 'dew of the sea'?

also if anyone knows the author of the above poem, please let me know. I read it in a book years ago and no amount of internet or bookcase searching has availed me. It remains lodged in my head and no amount of herb in my shirt is helping me remember more about it.