#like. if a building goes on fire i am the one that is supposed to help take charge of the evacuation
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so i went on a side quest today. partly related to an upcoming contract at work. and now i am a qualified fire steward for some reason
#sometimes things just kind of happen to me you know#life is just a thing that happens to me#and i sit somewhere in the back row and nod off a wee bit and when i wake up i'm a qualified fire steward#like. if a building goes on fire i am the one that is supposed to help take charge of the evacuation#truly frightening stuff. say your prayers boys your lives are in the hands of a dyspraxic twink#nah i jest. i'm weirdly good at being loud and bossy and taking charge of people when i really need to be#which is why i wanted to do it. partly that and partly because i care about helping disabled people feel safer#and a lot of more outdated fire safety procedures in this country do not take them into account the way they should#and fundamentally misunderstand a) disability and disabled people and b) the fire resistance of modern commercial buildings
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BDSMaid - Chapter 5 Part Two
Series Summary: After recently graduating you take what is supposed to be a job to save money before you go back to university to get your law degree. Your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients youâll never know. Easy. Simple. Mundane. Until one of your clients is home and everything you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.
Chapter Summary: You and Joel go to a Shibari class together; an innocent date, or is it?
TW: age gap (Joel 45/reader 22), reader does have some descriptors so more of an OC. Reader has longer hair and Joel can lift her. Mutual pining, kissing. Spoiler triggers below the cut in red.
WC: 8.2k
AN: Ok fiiiiiinnnneeeeee I couldn't wait any longer and I left you all on kind of a cliffhanger. As always, thank you to my lovely @lotusbxtch for reading and encouraging and helping me grow. Thanks @mermaidgirl30 , @littlevenicebitch69 and @joelmillerisapunk for being my lil cheerleaders. @for-a-longlongtime thanks for stoping me from working on that bull rider series LOL. Ok, enjoy this slowly because I haven't even STARTED chapter 6 yet, so I doubt it will be out until late October. Dividers and banners by the oh so talented @saradika-graphics
Masterlist || Series Masterlist
TW: complete sensory deprivation (tied down, blind folded and has hearing blocked), multiple orgasms, denial
Joel
Joel has tried to keep his distance since referring to tonight as a date. He left another large tip for your clean this week and then made sure he was as busy as possible to stop himself from going home to see you. As he coaxed you into drinking the orange juice and the water he kept hearing âitâs a dateâ over and over again in his mind, and heâd cringe internally. He wouldnât have blamed you if you had leaped out of that bed and ran home. The thought of you wanting him in that way is ridiculous. Not only because heâs over twice your age, but you came to him for help with building self confidence and for an escape, and then he went and said something so fucking stupid.Â
He shakes his head and pulls up his emails, trying to distract himself for what feels like the one hundredth time. Of course he wants to date you, heâd be crazy not to, but he canât blur those lines. Furthermore, even if there was the slightest chance that you felt the same way he canât risk breaking your heart the way heâs broken so many others.
Sheâs going to break yours, old man. Not the other way around.
Wednesday has been absolutely crawling. Time almost mocking him with how slow itâs ticking by. As he goes over the list of tonight's guests, Tess knocks on his small office door at the club.
âHey,â she says, plopping down in the arm chair across from the desk. âYou coming tonight?â
âOf course. Looks like a good turn out. Did the instructor make it in ok?â
âCap picked her up from the airport yesterday and got her all settled at the hotel. Do you think youâre going to need me tonight?â
Joel cocks an eyebrow at her. Heâs known Tess since she was ten. Her and Tommy are the same age, Joel being two years their senior. Aside from a few months when Tess and Tommy were sixteen, the three of them have been inseparable ever since. Tess was usually the undeclared leader of the group due to her bossy nature, but she kept the Miller brothers out of trouble most of the time.Â
âWhatâs wrong, Tess?â
âNothinâ,â she crosses her arms across her chest. âI am the planner, you and Tommy are the personality. Iâm fine to stay behind the scenes for this one.â
âYouâve been acting strange since the poker night.â
She rolls her eyes at him. Sheâs probably the only person ballsy enough to do that to Joel besides Tommy, but Joelâs almost convinced his little brother is more dumb than ballsy. âIâm fine, Joel. The staff is all in good morale, and thatâs my department. Remember?â
Joel just stares as she continues, lowering her voice to mock his. âI need you to be the people person. Hire them, train them. Iâm not patient enough because Iâm a big scary dom who will just want to spank them for not listening. I also canât plan anything because I have a man brain.â
âHilarious,â Joel deadpans as Tess laughs at her own jokes. âIâm being serious though, are you sure you're ok?â
âYes, you donât need to be concerned about me. Iâm actually a little gutted Iâm gonna miss it. Tommy told me thereâs been a very pretty young lady hanging around you lately.â
Joel puts his reading glasses on with one hand and pointing to his door with the other. âOut.â
You
Joel referring to tonight as a date has been on loop for the last few days. He has this amazing way of shutting off your brain and then leaving you with so many new questions. Either way, when a few more college letters came over the last few days you convinced yourself that right before leaving for the shibari-demonstration-slash-date was the best time to open them.Â
Odette and Jamie sit on the couch across from you as you slide open the first letter. The thick eggshell parchment stamped with the Yale logo pops open easily. You close your eyes as you open the paper, the only sound in the room is the thundering of your heart behind your ribs.Â
You peel your eyes open and read out loud. âWe regret to inform you that you have notâŚâ your voice falls off, fingers shaking as you put it back in the envelope.
âHey, we expected a few noâs,â Jamie says gently, always the optimist.
Odette takes the other approach, âTheir fucking loss, bunch of stuffy old cunts! Next!â
You laugh at the juxtaposition of your friends' responses and reach for the Harvard letter. âWe regret to inform youâŚâ
âKeep going babe,â Jamie says softly.
You pick up the bright white Columbia letter. âWe regret to inform youâŚfuck.â You feel the defeat start to creep in, like thick morning fog. Itâs suffocating, choking all the happiness and excitement you had for tonight.Â
âWhat the fuck is wrong with these schools!â Odette says, snatching the letters up so she can check for herself. âDo the Toronto one, Canadians are supposed to be nice.â
âI canât open anymore,â you say as your head falls back into the sofa. The fog starts to spread through your body, shutting you down inch by inch. You know you have to open the rest. Youâll spend the rest of the night wondering what they say if you donât finish them. âYou do it, Jamie.â
She shuffles in her seat uncomfortably. Sheâs not the kind of girl who likes to disappoint others; she's bright and happy but at this moment sheâs the only person that you can take bad news from. As if she can read your thoughts, she grabs the University of Toronto letter. The sound of the envelope popping open slices through you. She clears her throat as she opens the paper and then reads aloud the same sentence you did. The letters from Duke and Notre Dame follow the same painful routine. With each rejection your stomach swirls, nausea building on top of self doubt and anxiety.Â
Six out of the eight universities you applied to have turned you down; Berkeley and the University of Austin are your only chances left at reaching your dreams. The silence in the small rental unit has you on edge, so much so that when your phone vibrates beside you you jump. A sunset beach photo from your last trip to California is the background from a text from Cap telling you heâll be at your doorstep in about twenty minutes.Â
âI gotta finish getting ready,â you say, dragging yourself to the bathroom to touch up any makeup and brush your teeth.
âBabe?â Jamie says, following you down the hall. âYou wanna stay here instead of going to that mixer?â
The reminder of the lie sends a new wave of nausea through you. Tonight you became a law school reject and an even bigger liar. Donât forget that youâre also falling in love with an unattainable man, says the glittery pink box. You mentally lift a single finger in its direction, it usually doesnât turn on you like that.Â
âI need the distraction.â You say, deciding that thatâs not really a lie.
Your friends look at you with sadness in their eyes and even though youâre sad too, you wish you could tell them about Mister Miller and the club. You know theyâd be excited about whatever this thing is and it would really help to have someone to decipher all the moments that live in your mind.
âItâs a dateâ.
When you walk through the large door from the lobby and into the club, youâre welcomed by a completely different atmosphere. Itâs not all dim lights and sexy music like it normally is; instead the overhead lights are on and all the people are dressed in regular clothing or athletic wear and not the sexy outfits theyâd normally pick to come here. Joel is no exception, dressed in dark wash jeans and a fitted black t-shirt. You catch the glint of his gold ring while heâs engrossed in deep conversation with a blue and purple haired woman along the edge of the dance floor. As if youâre his due north or the other side of his magnet, after just seconds of being in the same room as him, his eyes collide with yours. He mouths an âexcuse meâ at the woman without looking away from and his long legs eat up the distance between the two of you. He meets you just before the bar and immediately wraps his arms around you, one hand coming to the nape of your neck, silently guiding your forehead to his strong chest.
âWhatâs wrong, sweet girl?â You love how easily he can read you, but you hate that this is the second time this week that heâs seeing you like this. You know you have moments of weakness, but you donât let anyone see that and you DEFINITELY donât inconvenience others with your weakness.Â
âHasnât been my best day, but I really donât want to talk about it.â You donât want to dump all of this on him now, not when he looked so excited when you said youâd attend tonight.Â
âOk, Iâm here for you if you want to talk about it though. You donât have to deal with this on your own.â His lips come to the crown of your head and you breathe him in letting his ash and leather scent break down your walls.Â
âI didnât get in,â you mumble and he holds you tighter for a brief second before his hand moves to your chin and tilts up to meet your gaze.
âAll of them?â he asks gently but something akin to anger flares in eyes for just a second.Â
âSix of them. I havenât heard from two.â His thumb feels like heaven as it runs along your jaw.
From across the club the blue and purple haired woman, who is now on the stage, claps her hands. âGood evening, everyone! Iâm Starr. If you and your brave partners could start making your way to the floor, we can get started right away!â
âDo you want to leave?â Joel says, his warm coffee and chocolate eyes dancing around yours. No one looks at you like that; no one ever asks what you want. This is one of those looks that you wish you could talk to your friends about.
âNo,â you say truthfully. âI want to be here with you.â
âI wasnât going to let you leave without me. Do you want to go somewhere else together?â
You step back and grab his hand, his fingers thread through yours as if you do this everyday, as if this is normal, and you pull him towards the floor. He stands behind you, an arm wrapped protectively around your middle, similar to how he did the first time you went through the voyeur room. Starr introduces herself and her wife and then begins explaining rope safety and terminology like rigger and rope bunny, before launching into a step by step on tying a beautiful star harness across her wifes clothed chest. The two women hand ropes to the person who will be doing the rigging and as the rope lands in Joelâs hand your pussy flutters at the realization that youâre about to become Mister Millerâs rope bunny. You knew that coming here tonight, even if it did include lying to your friends, would help you feel better. The disappointment of being rejected is slowly replaced with an excited anticipation of learning something new with a man who has done nothing but choose you since laid your eyes on each other.
Starr projects step by step instructions up on the back wall of the stage and Joel clears his throat behind you as he begins. The sound of the rope running through his hands as he folds it in half sends a shiver up your spine. You try to distract yourself by clipping your hair up and out of the way.Â
âArms up,â he rasps, and places a light kiss on the soft curve of your neck as he wraps the rope around your ribcage, just below your breasts. You purposely wore a tight t-shirt and leggings tonight. If anyone asks, youâll say you just assumed it would be easier to be in something form fitting rather than loose, but the truth is that you did some research on Shibari classes and it was recommended to wear clothing that was tight to the body. As he walks around you to make the first diagonal cross of your chest he says, âAre you sure you donât want to talk about it?â
You lock your eyes with his as he loops back up, crossing the rope over your other shoulder and walks behind you. âYes, at least not yet.âÂ
âAlright,â he says softly, pulling the rope back through the first band he made. âWhat do you want to talk about then?â
Your daughter. Your wife. The guitars and books of lyrics. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Do you like me or do you like like me? How do you feel about an age gap romance? Your brain races with a million things you could ask, and maybe would ask on a date. However, this is anything but a date, right? A dom and sub donât date, there are strict rules. He tells you what to do, you do it. You donât date.
The silence between you two feels like itâs lasted forever, you flinch as you ask the first thing you can think of. âHow old are you?â
âAlmost forty five. It says that on my profile, sweet girl. For someone who likes researchâŚâ His voice trails off. Is he flirting?
âI refuse to look at it in case you try to pawn me off to Tommy again,â you tease. You bite your cheek to hold in all the questions you want to ask as he chuckles behind you. You lift your arms as per the next slide and he brings the rope up towards your armpit as you settle on a neutral topic. âBaseball,â you say flatly.
Joel laughs silently as he walks around your body, the rope coming across to your other armpit and heâs behind you again. âBaseball?â
âYa, itâs Americaâs favourite pastime.â Joel's fingers feel warm through the fabric of your shirt as he continues to work the ropes.Â
âOk, so what do you want to discuss about baseball?â He wanders in front of you again, following the instructions perfectly.
You shrug a little, lifting your arms again as you follow along with the slides. âDid you ever play?â
Starr circles around the two of you, âGreat job, Joel. You ok, honey? Not too tight anywhere?â
You shake your head no and then you and Joel get lost in each other again. âYes, I played for most of my childhood. I was pretty good too.â
You chuckle, âWhy am I not surprised.â
âWhat?â he says, half laughing.
âSeems like Joel Miller is good at everything,â you say lightly, almost in admiration. Heâs behind you again, feeding the ropes through themselves. The back looks beautifully intricate, and you can see other couples getting frustrated before either Starr or her wife comes and helps them. You continue, âLet me guess, you were like a big all-star pitcher or something?â
âNo,â he answers.
âWhat position did you play then?â You glance down at your chest at the star shape across your chest, the rope scrapes gently on the exposed skin of your neck with the movement. Itâs stunning, exactly as the demonstration and the picture. Yep, Joel Miller is good at everything.Â
A new voice joins your conversation, âBest first baseman the school has ever seen.â
You crane your neck over your right shoulder towards the source; Tommy. You clench your molars when you see him with Jade; the beautiful icy blonde woman that Joel had tied to his desk the first time you met him. Joel shifts uncomfortably as she flutters her lashes at him. âAs I was saying,â Joel huffs in his brother's direction before turning his attention back to you. âI played first base and Tommy was the back catcher. Our mom pretty much put us in any sport she could afford to keep us out of trouble.âÂ
âThatâs kind of fascinating,â you say, looking back towards the stage and trying to get back into the safe little bubble you and Joel have created.Â
âI dunno about that, sweet girl.â
The combination of him using that nickname and the feeling of his fingers on your body cause another shiver to roll up your spine, and suddenly itâs just the two of you again. Itâs so easy to get lost with Joel, every ounce of that fog from earlier has dissipated. Heâs like the warm morning sun, chasing away all the thick haze that coated you in the darkness. âI think this is a safe nickname space only, Sweet Cheeks.â
He swats your bum gently eliciting a giggle to pass your lips before getting back to weaving the rope in and out along your spine. âCareful. Now why is it kind of fascinating?â
âI mean, Tommy played at home plate, you played at first base.â
âI donât know where youâre going here, Freckles.â
You smile over your shoulder at Joel. âWell, donât you see the connection? You donât have sex with your subs, Tommy does. He goes to home plate, you stay at first base.â
Joel arches an eyebrow at you as you flash him a cheeky smile and then he lets out a laugh. A real laugh that sounds like itâs coming straight from his stomach. His big beautiful smile draws up his cheeks causing the skin around his eyes to crinkle. The sound is almost enough to make you weak at the knees. âI swear to god, Freckles, I love the way your brain works.â
The rest of the group finishes off their harnesses and Starr begins the next part, explaining now how to tie the arms around the biceps and secure them to the harness. They hand out the ropes again and you reach behind yourself to criss cross your arms and grasp your opposite elbows. Just as Joel begins folding the rope over in his hands, Jade speaks.
âShe sort of hit the nail on the head with that one, Mister Miller.â Envy flares in your eyes as she steps towards Joel, leaning into him. âI canât wait for tomorrow. Iâve missed you.â
You glance towards Joel, expecting to see him looking angry but his soft eyes meet you with guilt written all over his face. You watch his throat as he swallows hard and the happy, sparkly bubble you built bursts and the fog returns. Your heart drops to your feet, it was too good to be true, you knew it was too good to be true and he almost had you fooled. You donât think, you just act, you need to get away from this space and all these people as bile rises in your throat.
Your feet feel heavy as you walk quickly toward the voyeur room, slipping past the closed sign that's propped up outside the curtain that conceals it. Darkness surrounds you, the rope harness feels like itâs smothering you as you try to take deep calming breaths. A flash of light from the otherside of the curtain fills the room as someone follows.
âGo away, Joel.â You say quietly, trying to force air past the lump growing in your throat.Â
âItâs Tommy.â He says, flicking on a dim light and noting the way youâre pulling at the rope closest to your throat. âLet me untie you so you donât hurt yourself.â
You step back, a wall slamming down around you. Tommy raises his hands, âPlease, just let me untie you so you can breathe.â
You spin slowly, giving your back to him and he approaches. His fingers pulling and working the ropes and the irony of him removing knots as you start to mentally tie yourself up in them is enough to make you nauseous. You retreat into your mind, looking for that stupid box. I fucking told you! You practically scream at the shadow you know itâs hiding in.
âTry to slow your breathing for me,â Tommy says softly as the rope begins to loosen and fall away from your body. Tonight felt too normal, too comfortable. You started to feel like maybe Joel was feeling the same way you do, but now you feel like youâve been slapped across the face with yet another reminder that you are not enough. Six out eight universities and the man you completely misread.Â
âIâm so fucking stupid.â It doesnât come out self deprecating or angrily. Just as if youâre stating a fact, similar to how youâd say you like the colour green.Â
âNo, this is on me.â The rope falls away from your body and you step away, spinning to face Tommy. âI shouldnât have said yes when she asked me to bring her here tonight. I assumed Joel had ended it before they were in Europe.â
âWhat?â You breathe out in disbelief. Even though you can see the rope in Tommyâs hands, it still feels like itâs around your throat.
You wander towards the nearest couch. All those pictures, all those flirty texts and she was there the entire time? You hear your mothers voice again, âYou might be the smartest one in this town but the real world is going to eat you up and spit you out.â Nothing has felt more true, especially today. Six schools rejected you, selecting smarter shinier applicants and now the same thing is happening with Joel. You knew you didnât hold a candle to her, he wanted you to go with Tommy so he could keep her, didnât he?
âItâs only you.â His desperate voice from the day in his office comes out of the shadows of your mind. But itâs not only you. If he didnât end it with her then itâs her too. Youâre constantly in competitions that you have no business being in.Â
âNo, not âtheyâ. Not like that. They were there for different things, not together,â Tommyâs voice has a hint of panic. â...Iâm really fucking this night up, arenât I?â
Just then, Joel and Jade come through the curtain. âSweet girlâŚ.â
âNo,â you say, cutting him off with a wave of your hand. You want to yell and scream and ask him what was with all that âitâs only youâ bullshit.
âBaby, please, just listen to me.â Joel kneels in front of you and you stand up. His hands come to either side of the couch, keeping you there. âPlease?â
You can feel his eyes on you but you keep staring straight ahead, the curtains of all the rental rooms are drawn shut. âPlease just go, Joel.â
Jade steps into your line of vision and you can feel the jealousy twisting at your stomach. Sheâs fucking beautiful. Long icy blonde hair that looks silky to touch, slender limbs and a perfectly symmetrical face. Her make up is done to perfection, and to top it all off she was kissed by an angel in the breast department.Â
âIâm sorry. I left the country a few days after I saw you for your birthday celebration. I went to Germany to get married and I wasnât coming back.â Her eyes go soft for a second as she looks down at her bare left ring finger and then back to you. âClearly I didnât do either of those things. I havenât spoken to Joel and I just assumed our regular time slots still stood.â
Even without looking down, you know Joel hasnât looked away. From the moment you met him, youâve been able to feel his gaze on you. Itâs one of the things you like so much about him, the way he looks at you. You feel warm and seen, and most importantly, safe in his gaze.
Tommy clears his throat gently and you glance his way. âEnding things with a sub is tricky. It has to be done in person. I know Joel better than anyone else, he ended things with everyone else. Heâs gonna beat the shit out of me for this, but heâs crazy about you and heâs only ever looked at one other person the way he looks at you.â
âTommy,â Jade's voice cracks as she says his name. âI think you should untie me so I can leave. I really am sorry, to all of you.â
You watch the two of them disappear back into the main area of the club before you finally allow yourself to look down at Joel. His eyes are big and soft, he looks so vulnerable. Is this real though? When you think about how easily he can slide on his dominant mask you arenât sure what you can and canât trust, and thatâs really fucking horrible considering trust is the most important thing between a sub and dom. He could be lying, he gains blow jobs and doing whatever else he wants to your body by keeping this up.Â
But what does Tommy gain from telling you what he just did? Tommy has no skin in the game here.
Joel Â
His heart is flying wildly behind his chest, blood coursing through his ears. He never thought he was going to see Jade again. Neither of them talked about it really, but after that session that you walked in on she canceled the next one and told him she was moving to be with her fiance in Germany and was getting married. He continues to look up at you; the ever growing pinch in his neck be damned, heâs not looking away. Even at this angle you manage to take his breath away. It feels like hours have gone by when you finally speak.
âI thought it was only me,â it comes out as a whisper and immediately shatters the little bits that were left of his composure.Â
âIt is, sweet girl. I promise you it is.â
âI want to believe you,â your voice is so calm. He doesnât deserve you being calm right now. Or does he? You came into this very methodical. Maybe these are just sub-dom transactions to you.
âWhat can I do?â He says hopefully. âIâll do anything you need, sweet girl.â
You let out a shaky breath and he can see the wall building behind your eyes, that fun goofy girl who isnât afraid to crack a joke is slowly locking herself away. He prepares himself for you to tell him this is over, or that you need time. He reminds himself that this was always going to end in heartbreak for him, so may as well get it over with now instead of when heâs fully in love with you, before heâs learned how those warm walls of your pussy feel against his cock. Because there really will be no coming back from that if that happens.
As he tightens the muscles in his core, physically preparing for the metaphorical blow to the gut he watches your long lashes flutter shut and when you open your eyes again the wall is gone. The shimmering pools of the eyes heâs enamored by are back and relief washes over him.Â
âNothing, Mister Miller,â your voice is saccharine sweet. âTrust is the most important thing between a sub and their dom. I canât let my own anxiety ruin this, but I might just be a bit guarded until Iâve calmed all those thoughts.â
He whispers your name, biting back a groan as your hands meet his hair. âIâm so sorry that happened, baby girl.â
âI know. So am I. I shouldnât have gotten jealous. Itâs justâŚâ
âNo, you can be jealous. I told you one thing and -.â
You tug at the strands of his hair and shush him. âIâm not done,â your voice is stern. Joel isnât used to hearing your tone like that and he suddenly feels his chest swelling with pride. This sweet bubbly person in front of him is morphing into a confident badass. Thatâs probably the exact tone youâll use in boardrooms or courtrooms when other lawyers try to talk over you and he can only hope that one day heâll get to witness that. âI shouldnât have gotten jealous, but I really like the way I feel around you. Itâs selfish of me, but Iâd like to keep feeling like this for the few months I have left here before I leave for law school.â
Selfish. He lets that word wash over him. The most selfless person heâs ever known is worried about being selfish? No, he thinks, she deserves this. Hearing you say that youâre leaving makes him feel like his chest is caving in on itself. Heâll deal with the inevitable heartbreak when you leave him. He knows those rejection letters were hard on you, but he helped you to feel better and heâs going to hold on to that and give you that for as long as he possibly can.Â
Your fingers release his hair and he watches you walk the few steps to where the rope Tommy untied for you lays on the floor. He licks his lips as you bend to pick it up, eyes trailing over the delicious curves of your ass. âIt would be my pleasure, sweetheart.â
You turn, walking back towards where heâs kneeling and holding the ropes out to him you say, âIs the workshop over?â
He stands up, his fingers grazing yours as he takes the rope. Electricity tingles up his forearms at the feel of your soft skin. Your body is so close to his that he can feel your soft warmth radiating against him. You being at this proximity immediately put him at ease.
âNo, thereâs a bodysuit tutorial right now,â he says. You nod, stepping around him. Suddenly, Joel grabs your elbow to stop you, lowering his lips to your ear, and lowering his voice to that gravelly tone he knows you love, he rasps, âI should punish you for letting another dom untie whatâs mine.â
You smirk up at him, âIâd like to see you try, Sweet Cheeks.â
You
Joel works silently around you and you lose yourself for a bit in the events that unfolded tonight. Joel has knelt in front of you before, but never like that. The sad, helpless look in his eyes, the slight slump of the shoulders. He was submitting to you, and when your fingers met his scalp, he leaned into your touch. The way his body melted at your touch was intoxicating. He wasnât Mister Miller in that room tonight, he was Joel, and the dichotomy of this man is astounding.Â
After about thirty minutes of Joel twisting, turning and pulling he has your upper half tied into a zigzagged bodysuit of rope. Joel steps in front of you and bends slightly to reach between your legs. When he brings the rope between your thighs and as he feeds it through the bottom of the chest piece, the seam of your leggings brushes against your clit. You jolt at the contact, your cheeks flushing crimson as Joel's eyes meet yours in a flash of onyx and honey. He begins shaping the bottom part of the bodysuit, bent in front of you the entire time and locking eyes with yours every time he tugs the ropes into place.Â
You glance nervously around the room to see if anyone else is having the same reaction. You expected this night to be fun and silly, the way a date should be. And it was for a while, but now itâs taken a very erotic turn. The blush of your cheeks warms down your chest and neck as you hold off on what could be a very vocal orgasm in front of a room of people who you donât necessarily want to witness it.
Joel finally finishes the body suit and moves to stand behind you, his patchy facial hair brushes the shell of your ear as he whispers, his voice full of gravel, âHands behind your back, my sweet girl. We arenât done.â
A shiver races up your spine and your arms fly back. âSo eager,â Joel says softly, grazing his teeth along the lobe of your ear, adding gasoline to the small fire thatâs been building between your thighs. Â
Youâre sure the arm restraints only take about three minutes to complete, but it feels like hours. The three knots that lay around your wrists, forearms, and biceps keep your posture nice and tall, and your breasts pushed up through the body suit. Once heâs finished, Joel spins you to face him, and that rope works its way in between the lips of your now absolutely soaked pussy. You squeeze your thighs together, the soft expression on his face only intensifying the growing ache. Heâs such a fucking tease, you think, and now heâs looking at you as if you put the stars in the sky. Finally, his dark brown eyes settle on yours and he gives you a closed lip smile.
âWhat?â You ask breathlessly.
âI jusâ thought that Iâd go all caveman seeinâ you like this,â he steps into you, one hand cupping your cheek, the other tugging on the rope near your waist, which jiggles the rope that has you on edge. Joelâs voice lowers, this next part just for you to hear. âBut you just look so beautiful.â
He tugs up on the rope and pleasure courses through you as you gasp quietly. He gives you that sexy smirk that makes that dimple carve into his cheek.Â
Yep, heâs a fucking tease. The little box says, confirming your thoughts.Â
âYou like that, sweet girl?â
He tugs again and your forehead falls to his chest. âPlease, Mister Miller,â you whisper into his expensive cotton t-shirt.Â
Starr interrupts the two of you, but you canât peel yourself away from Joel right now. The slightest move of that rope might make you explode. âWell, based on that reaction Iâd say you tied it just right, Joel.â
âThank you for coming, Starr. Iâm sure weâll host one of these again soon. Tommy is by the bar, he can help you kick everyone out.â
âJoel,â she says, a slight hint of amusement in her now hushed voice. âYour rope bunny is on the verge of having an orgasm, go.â
With that he hoists you over his shoulder and walks towards the door that leads to the private rooms. âFuckfuck, Iâm gonna -â you whisper into his broad back and squeeze your thighs tighter as Joel walks.Â
The second the door shuts, separating you from the others Joel puts you on your feet and jiggles the rope around your waist. âCome, baby.â
You fall into him for support, his other arm wrapping around you to hold you up as stars blur your vision. âThat feel good, my little rope bunny?âÂ
âYes - oh god, yes.â Your arms pull at the ropes restraining them behind your back and you canât hold it anymore. Your orgasm practically slams through you as you gasp and moan into Joel's broad chest. âFuck, Mister Miller.â
 âYouâre so beautiful when you let go for me. Iâll never get sick of watching you like this.â He continues to work the rope as your high crests and your legs start to go weak and boneless below you.
âI canâtâŚp-please Mis - Fuck.â Joel lifts your lax and quivering body over his shoulder again and makes his way to his room, placing you at the foot of the bed, spinning you and pushing between your shoulder blades until your chest meets the mattress.
âSpread your legs,â he commands and you listen, moving your feet to be shoulder width apart. He wraps two cuffs around your ankles, and attaches them to the bottom of the bed posts before doing the same to the ropes around your arms. Youâre trapped, stuck bent over the end of the bed and even though youâre fully clothed under all of these ropes, this is easily the hottest thing youâve ever done. âFuck me. How are you so goddamn sexy even when youâre fully clothed.â
You hear Joelâs footsteps around the room, gathering whatever he has decided to use on you tonight before you can feel him behind you. âSweet girl, I do believe I read that you would be interested in sensory deprivation. Is that correct?âÂ
âYes, Mister Miller,â you hum.
âDo I have your consent to blindfold you and then have you listen to music in noise canceling headphones?â
Fire erupts in your stomach, your core pulsing at the thought of him doing whatever he wants to you. âYes, Mister Miller.â
A silky black blind fold slips over your head, Joel's large body covering your back. âWhatâs your safeword?â he growls, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.Â
âStegosaurus.â Just once youâd like that to not leave your lips in the whiny, desperate tone it does when he asks you that question.Â
âGood girl,â he praises before the plush headphones cover your ears. All you see is black, all you hear is soft decorative piano music, and all you feel is the warmth of Joel over your buzzing skin. Thereâs not a single thought in your mind, everything is silent. This is what you need and you start to worry that youâll become addicted to the way Joel makes you feel everything while thinking nothing.Â
The warmth of his body disappears from you and you whimper at the loss. Your eyes clench closed as if that will help you be able to find him. A thin, pulsing vibrator hits the back of your thigh and you jump. Joel's large hands rubs your opposite hip and every muscle relaxes under his touch. The vibrator pulses softly as he moves it up your thigh, tickling along your hip, and then down the other leg. You canât hear the sounds that youâre making but youâre sure theyâre desperate, needy gasps.
After teasing your arms Joel slips something small and hard between your body and the rope thatâs been torturously teasing at your clit before you feel him pull away. You adjust so your forehead is resting on the mattress before it dips with the weight of him sitting beside your head. His warm fingers wrap around your neck and he kneads the muscles.
âMmmm, thank you Mister Miller,â you hum.Â
Whatever Joel slipped against your clit comes to life, a dull vibration that is sure to be your undoing has you attempting to arch your back, but you canât move. Your breathing quickens, short little puffs of air passing your lips.Â
âIâm gonna come,â you murmur quietly, or at least you think itâs quiet since you canât hear yourself or anything else. Joelâs strong fingers continue the delicious swirling patterns up and down the sides of your neck as you begin to shake. âOh god - Iâm so close!â
Just as youâre about to slam head first into another orgasm the vibrating stops and Joelâs fingers disappear from your skin. âNo,â and this time you know it wasnât a whisper or a whimper.
The mattress jostles and then you feel Joel behind you again. A hand comes to one of yours, coaxing it out of the fist youâve apparently clenched before doing the same to the other. The vibrating starts stronger this time and both his hands come to yours, his thumbs massaging at your palms. It doesnât take long this time before youâre right on that edge again.
âFuck, Mister Miller. Puh-please donât stop!â Your legs start the familiar shake that happens right when youâre about to tip over the edge and he doesnât follow your wishes. The hand massage stops, quickly followed by the vibrator being switched off. You groan in frustration and he lays a quick, sharp spank over your legging clad right ass cheek. âHnnng - sorry.â
You canât be certain, but based on the warm puffs hitting your core youâre pretty sure heâs knelt down behind you. The vibrator comes to life again, stronger than the last two times and his hands work at massaging the muscles along the back of your thighs. This is torture; wonderful euphoric torture and as much as you want it end, you also donât ever want him to stop making you feel this way.Â
You let your eyes flutter open behind the blindfold, itâs still just as dark but you see that little pink sparkly box. The one thatâs overflowing with emotion for Joel. You should push it back into the shadows or light it on fire, but instead you let it come out of the shadows completely. You see your hands reaching for the lid just as the white hot pleasure in your core gets close to the breaking point.
âPlease pleaseâŚMister Miller - fuck!â You whimper and whine as it begins to burn hotter and then itâs gone and it feels like the air is being sucked forcefully out of your lungs.Â
âNonono, I canât. Please, I need you..â Joel's large body is across your back in a second. The hard bulge in pants pressing against your ass and the memory of how good he felt and tasted in your mouth the last time has saliva pooling under your tongue. You swallow hard as one of the padded ear pieces is lifted from your ear.
Joelâs voice is deep and gruff as he says, âWhat do you need, my sweet girl?â
The little box of feelings vibrates at him calling you his and you kick it back into the shadows. âI need to come, Mister Miller.â
âThat right? How bad?â He says teasingly before placing a feather light kiss on that sensitive spot right below your ear.
âSo bad. Please, it hurts, Mister Miller.â You are pouting into the fluffy sheets, a completely whiny mess, and you realize that youâre always a mess for him. Be it a horny or depraved one, a whiny or a pouty one, he doesnât care and if anything you think he likes it that way, likes you that way. âI want to hear you. I miss your dirty talk, please, baby!â
âFuck,â he breathes. âI should spank you until you canât sit tomorrow for calling me anything but Mister Miller. You know that, right?âÂ
âI canât think straight. Iâm sorry, just please. Please!â
He whips the headphones off of you and the vibrator hits at an intensity you have never felt before. Your pornographic scream fills the room. His large body above yours intensifies everything that was already killing you.
âThat what you need, huh?â
You cry out and try to say yes but youâre sure itâs all just an incoherent mix of sounds at this point.Â
âGod damn, baby girl. You should see yourself right now. All tied up in knots that I made. The way your leggings hug the curves of your hips and soft, creamy thighs. Youâre going to be the death of me one day.â
Tears start to flow behind your blindfold as the pleasure almost becomes too much, you havenât come yet, and at this point you arenât sure if youâll survive it if you do. You have half a mind to ask Joel if an orgasm can physically split you in two because that is how you feel right now.Â
âIâm - oh god - IâmâŚâ You try to form the words but you canât.Â
One of Joelâs hands slips between his front and your tied up arms, his hand wrapping tightly around yours. His lips come to your ear as whispers. âI got you, sweet girl, just let go for me.â
âNeed to see you,â you say between gasps of air and the pleasure begins to burn in your.Â
Joel peels the blind fold off. You blink him into focus, his warm eyes searching your face. âLet go, youâre ok.â
As per usual, itâs his words that seem to be that final push and you let your orgasm consume you. It starts as a cold spark, a shiver up your spine and then heat flushes through every since cell in your body. You moan and writhe beneath Joel who whispers your praises like a prayer. Talking you through the intensity of the feeling. Your pussy clenches around nothing and youâre sure your panties, leggings and the rope are ruined.
âI canât!â You gasp and Joel slows the vibration to help you ride out the decresendo of your orgasm. As the jolts of your body slow, he follows suit; the vibrator going to a dull blip and eventually nothing. Joel's thumb traces soothing patterns on the hand heâs still holding between your bodies. You take a deep and shaky breath, trying to calm your racing heart.Â
âAre you ok, angel?â he asks quietly and goosebumps somehow spread along your too hot body.
âBetter than ok,â you say with a small smile.
Joelâs lips meet yours, soft and pliant and so full of passion. Your eyes shut as you part your lips for him and when your tongue strokes gently against his he lets out a small whimper that causes your pulse to leap. Mentally, you grab a bigger box, stuffing it with the realization that youâre falling for this man. But you will deal with that later, right now you just need to let yourself have something that is for, well⌠yourself.
JoelÂ
He breaks the kiss, even though he doesnât want to. Even though he knows that by breaking this kiss itâs only going to mean you going home sooner. âI need to get you out of these ropes and get some sugar into you.â
The two of you sit in a comfortable silence as his nimble fingers work to undo your restraints, then the intricate knots that bind your arms, and lastly the bodysuit. He really did think you looked stunning all tied up. He didnât plan for this night to go the way it did, but when he saw the slight flush of your cheeks and the way your eyes glazed over he couldnât resist giving you what he knew you needed. He stays close, one hand protectively on your hip as you crawl onto the bed. Once he has you seated, he pulls a fuzzy grey blanket out from a basket beside the night stand and then opens the small fridge to grab you an orange juice and water.
He cracks the top of the orange juice. âDrink this for me, please.â
He watches your eyes do a quick half roll but you donât fight him, fingers just barely grazing his as you take the juice from him. âI had fun tonight,â you say between sips as he walks to grab the coconut oil.Â
Joel stands beside you. âSo did I, sweetheart. Arm, please.â
You take the orange juice in your left hand and give him your right. Both of you watch as he puts oil on the few pink marks the ropes left behind. âDo you think I should change my safeword?â
He lifts one eyebrow at you and as he tends to your other arm says, âWhy do you ask that.â
âI donât know. Itâs justâŚwell, originally that little dinosaur on your coffee maker seemed so out of place. It intrigued me. Your home is beautiful, but the parts you let people see donât give away any hints about you, except for that little dinosaur. But now that I know the whole story, it just seems too special of an item to be tied to what we do.â
âI donât think we need to change it. Youâre right, that little stegosaurus is special to me.â He sits sideways on the bed, grabbing the empty orange juice container and handing you the water. His jaw flexes once before he continues, âBut so are you. I love that you felt a connection to that part of me. Ultimately, itâs your safe word, sweet girl, so you can make it anything you want, but I think itâs perfect for us.â
The soft look in your eyes as he speaks is almost enough to kill him, and when your lips twitch up ever so slightly at his words he knows heâs done for. He shouldnât fall for you, especially since heâs sure thereâs no way youâd ever feel the same way, but he canât not fall for you.
Your name passes his lips with a nervous tremble, because he knows that what heâs about to say next is going to be his undoing. If you say yes to this next thing, if he continues spending actual time with you, heâs done.
âYa?â you say before sucking your bottom lip through your teeth.
âFriday night is the five year anniversary party for the club. Itâs a black tie event for all the VIP guests. Would you like to accompany me?â
He watches as your eyes land on your lap, your lips pressing together as if to suppress a smile. When your gaze floats back up to his, your eyes give you away. Try as you might to hide your expressions with him; he'll always know when youâre happy based on the glitter of your eyes.
âIâd really like that, Mister Miller.â
His forehead meets yours. âThis might be a Sweet Cheeks moment.â
Thank you soooo much for reading! Remember to follow @mountainsandmayhem-updates for future chapters xo.
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Price finds her in the equipment room doing a rather meticulous job of cleaning their weapons, but he also notices that the only set she currently has out, is none other than the side-arm and knives owned by their resident Lieutenant.
âQuite rare to see you here on a Friday night,â he says, taking a seat across from her, grabbing an oiled rag to start cleaning with. âShouldnât you be going out with Gaz and Soap for drinks?â
She pauses, looks up and then lowers her gaze back to the firing pin sheâs cleaning. âDidnât feel like going out tonight, Captain.â
âDidnât feel like it or didnât feel like seeing âyou know who?ââ
âYou know?â She asks and he shrugs.
âItâs my job to know everything that happens within the one-four-one.â
âI thought that was Miss Kateâs job?â
Price smiles. âWe share responsibility.â He methodically rubs the rag along the parts of the side-arm, his expression and voice becoming rather calm but she feels the air turn a little stern, if almost a fatherly stern. âYouâve been avoiding him.â
She makes a noise in her throat. âI canât exactly talk to him. Look what happened last time.â
âHe feels bad.â
âIâm sure he does,â she retorts, looking at him. âHe really hurt my feelings. What am I supposed to do, tell him itâs okay? That we can move on like he didnât tell me Iâm clingy?â She stops, looks down at her hands. âI sound like a fucking child.â
Price hums. âYou actually sound like a person whoâs had their feelings hurt and youâre not sure how to proceed.â He dips the rag in a big more oil. âI know it doesnât equate what heâs said to you, but allow me to fill in some blanks you might have on Simon.â
She cocks a brow. âOkay?â
âSimon was the oldest child of two. Abusive dad, terrified mom. Younger brother used to terrorize him too.â He goes back to cleaning the gun parts. âNine-eleven had Simon enlisting, came back after a lull, kicked his dad out, got his brother sober and even found himself the proud uncle of a nephew named Joseph.â
âWhere are they now?â She asks. âSimonâs from Birmingham, right?â
âHe is,â he answers, but his face and voice are void of any hope. âBut theyâre not anymore.â
She blinks, feels the shift in temperature. âTheyâŚmoved?â She hopes; he meets her gaze, and she knows instantly. âOhâŚIâŚhow did itâŚâ
âI donât want to divulge Simonâs past without his permission, because itâs also his own choice to tell you what happened, but I can tell you that Simon had a personal vendetta against the man and others who hurt his family. And he took care of it.â Price inhales and exhales. âIn doing soâŚSimon sacrificed himself. He made himselfââ
âA Ghost,â she finishes, and he nods.
âSimon, when it comes down to what he truly is beneath his cold stoicism, my dear, is simply a very tired and even more broken-hearted man who believes that if he keeps everything and everyone at a distance, then nothing can hurt him.â Price sets the weapon and rag down. âHe likes to think heâs incapable of feeling but donât let his demeanor or words fool you, Simon feels more deeply for the people he loves more than anyone Iâve ever met.â
Something aches in her chest, rising up to close around her throat as she asks, âA man like himâŚhe can still love?â
He smiles half-heartedly. âIâve seen the man run back through a burning building to pull Gaz out. Iâve seen him run through gunfire, take a bullet to the thigh and keep going to carry Soap.â He nudges her under the table. âIâve even seen him pull your ass out of even stickier situations. If we viewed Simon how he wanted us to view him, itâd be easy to call him a heartless bastard. But he isnât as heartless as he wishes he was.â
âThat just shows heâs doing his job as our superior officer,â she counters weakly. âHeâs doing it because itâs his duty to get his subordinates out.â
âDoes it ever just feel like that?â
ââŚno.â
Price gazes on her like a father to his daughter with her first heartbreak. âWhat do you feel right now, puffin?â
She purses her lips, looks down at the various weapons on the table before she admits, âIâm still hurt. His words keep replaying in my mind. Iâm clingy and Iâm always around.â She fiddles with the fraying hem of the rag. âThat Iâm a bother.â
âWould it make a difference if I told you that I donât think such things?â
She shrugs.
Price blinks, reaches up and rubs his chin thoughtfully. âYou can be very excitable. Sometimes, I think you let it get the better of you and you often forget that others donât always have the same personality as you.â
âExcitable is the polite way of saying annoying.â
âIf I wanted to say you were annoying, I wouldâve. You genuinely are a good and wholesome person, my dear. But you have to remember that everyone has a different level of extroversion. Sometimes, we have to tone it down a bit.â He meets her gaze and she knows his is full of honesty. âSimon doesnât actually hate you. And he probably feels a tad bit of annoyance, but then again, he always does regardless of who it is, because Simon hates anything that makes noise. But I also know that he feels bad for what he did and said to youâand he wants to make it right.â
She takes in his words. âDo I need to engage him first? Extend some olive branch for peace?â
Price rises from the table and smiles, walks around and pats her shoulder. âNah, let him come to you.â
âYou really think he will?â
âI do. He knows what heâs gotta do and heâll do it because he knows itâs the right thing to do. But heâll be skittish. Heâs like a newborn deer.â He winks. âLet him mull over how he wants to do it. As for you,â he points at her. âYouâve gotta move on from this. Learn from it. And stop ignoring him and avoiding him like youâre a ten year old. Be a grown-up. Act professional and be polite. I will not let this effect the team any longer than it is. Am I understood?â
She swallows thickly and nods. âYes, sir, Captain Price. I promise.â
Price smiles and pats her again. âGo on. Soap and Gaz headed to Purecraft.â
âBut the Lieutenantââ
âIs in the training room working out,â Price waves her off. âGo. Have some fun. Get some drinks, talk to Tweedledee and Tweedledum.â
As she gets up, she pauses and looks at him. âCaptain?â
âHmm?â
âThank you.â
Priceâs eyes crinkle around the edges. âYouâre welcome, Puffin.â
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Imagine y/n having to join the team as a stand in for another person that was supposed to be there. And everything goes wrong.
Tw. angst, brief torture, injuries, death, past abuse, helplessness, reader almost dying. Foul language! Really crappy writing and not proof read prolly missing a few Tw's as well.
Y/n doesn't like the group at first. They seem patronizing, constantly talking about the person who was going to join. Constantly asking if you could actually do what he was supposed to. Hell even when she was completing the mission they kept checking on her more than each other even if two of them were under fire. She got so annoyed with Price after the genuine thirtieth time he told her the step by step of what she already did.
âIf you keep fucking patronizing me I'll bust your balls Mr. Price is right. Now fuck off I'm already done.â She sighs at the deactivated bomb having completely gutted it and made sure it's not going to explode. Not to mention rescuing the hostages and securing the building and her section.
The laughter over comes echo's in her ear as she turns to the man it was strapped to as he cries out his thanks. She already checked him for weapons along with the other hostages; she untied them all and now has them in a corner taking cover just in case. Mostly women and a couple kids like three men including the one she saved.
She also deactivated the other bombs in her building and surrounding. âChrist sake your feisty lass!â she scoffs in response to soap, no longer looking at the civilians âYou cunts have done nothing but baby and patronize me the entire time I've been around you. Sit and spin you big bitch.â The others chuckle at the end of the sentence.
âWhat am I sitting on again lassie?â she smirks âMy fuckin 31cm dildo I'm gonna fuck you with later.â The cackles echo from gaz and roach. She hums before turning back to the civilians. âShe's right about you patronizing her.â Ghost's voice echoes from the coms as a gunshot does as well. âmy sector is clear.â She blinks as she hears movement outside.
âI think some strays came to my sector. I'm hearing stuff outside.â She raises her gun slowly moving to a window. She catches a peak of a huge group of the enemy surrounding her building. âI'm surrounded, there's easily a hundred if not over. Shit!â she notices one of them aiming up at the windows and she drops down. âthese guy were not fucking anywhere near here until nowâŚâ she pauses as she hears one of the radios from the enemy in the hall and she crawls over to the door and she spots it sitting out front by the dead body and she grabs it closing the door again.
She listens to them moving to defend the hostages. âshit, they're telling everyone to come to my building!â She puts the other Radio against her mic. âFind the hostages, and the womanâŚâ that's all she can make out before the window shatters along with an explosion. âtake her alive and kill everyone else.â her ears are ringing as she sees someone coming out of the smoker and she shoots at them.
Searing agony sweeps through her after a second. She couldn't even tell she screamed as someone tackled her. âGet the fuck off of me!â Shooting them straight in the face then she shoots once at any movement she can make out the gun quickly clicking in response so she drops it pulling her handgun.
Then it's knocked from her hand as soldiers shoot at her from the doorway and it doesn't take long for her to realize she's on the floor surrounded by enemies. Each hostage she just saved gathered in front of her an executive guilt filling her body as each of them are made to look at her. She can't lift her hands or legs anymore in pure agony as the adrenaline is gone and so is each person she just met.
The seemingly leader steps in front of her holding a knife flipping it in his hand smiling as he crouches down to her eye level. She saw his picture and couldn't help but recognize him. âHello there doll, you mind telling me where the pretty boy who was supposed to be on this mission is?â she glares at him. As he taps it against her neck, lightly cutting her skin each time. âSo you've got Intel from our base. Sorry but he's fuckin dead. Died off base via a psycho girlfriend who thought he was cheating on him.â he takes a second before smiling. âAmazing news, pity I didn't get the honor though.â he cuts her wire. âBut I'll make up for that with you pretty girl.â
¡ ¡ ââââââ ¡đĽ¸Âˇ ââââââ ¡ ¡
She never wanted to die, at least not like this, not after lying her ass off about everything they wanted to know as they tortured her. She wanted to gloat in their face after what she said gets them caught and killed. But she could be proud at least at the wide eye angel personality and face she's pulling the cries and blubbering all fake.
âPuhluse I've told you everything!â She sniffles crying in agony, her eyes wide as she's pushed into a freezer, one you would have in a garage for wild game or fish except it's more like a transport cooler in size. The lid slammed shut over her and it's pushed into a hole of sorts crashing into the side then onto the small box beneath her.
âNo, no no!â She tries pushing the lid up but it's heavier and heavier as dirt covers it. âFUCKIN BASTARD!â She kicks the lid, not even budging. She lays as she notices how cold it is here, probably freshly turned off.
She takes a few deep breaths as she knows she'll die in here sooner or later. She searches for her phone in her bra quickly finding it. Looking at the battery it's almost dead. âShitâ 10% she quickly shoots a text to her brothers group chat. A simple I love you. Before she calls the number one of the idiots gave her before they actually went on field. She desperately listens to the ringing before it's picked up. âAre you the Sargent!â She can hear the vehicle running. âYes it's fuckin me! I lied to them about the information. They're headed for West Point and go get them! I want them to die for this!â She tears up knowing damn well she's setting herself up to die sending them away from her she bites her lip sniffling at the bright screen in agony.
âIâm sorry I fucked up big time. Just tell my brothers I'm sorry and that I love them.â âY/n where are you.â Price's voice now echoes from the phone. âDunno, but I'll be, I'll be.â she chokes back a sob at the words memories coming back as she looks at the lid above her. âIâll be fine, just go get 'em for me. West point I sent them towards the dummy container and warehouse they're looking for weaponry.â her hands are shaking as the cold gets to her.
âY/n breathe for me what are your surroundings like right now.â Gaz practically chokes out his question. âThey buried me. You won't find me in time even if you look. Just go get them! Stop worrying about me and go get them! I didn't just go through torture for you to fucking fail on me!â She is starting to get sleepy as she switches her phone to the most battery saving settings she can. Sniffling, she looks at the phone. âPlease tell him I love him and that I'm sorry. He's the, he's the one that was supposed to be on the mission he's my little brother,â laughing once she sighs, âThank you for everything even if it was annoying for you to patronize me.â She smiles at the screen as Ghost goes to speak âweâre not going to-â it dies in the middle of his sentence, leaving her alone in the pitch black. She begins sobbing uncontrollably holding her phone in front of her wishing it was still on.
âN-no, ple-euase, I don-n't wa-auhnnt to digh-ie,â she can't breathe with how much she's choked up. âN, Noaut liku- ke, th-This-ss,â she's just getting more distraught by the second as all the composure she's been keeping until now is gone. She just sits there remembering her life, her recent life, then her childhood remembering how her dad would lock her in their freezer when he got angry.
âDa-Daddy please I don't want to die like this.â she can practically hear him scream from the other side as white spots appear in her vision. âShut the fuck up you little whore!â
She reaches up barely able to feel her body as she knocks on the freezer like how she used to since it was against her and her siblings room. She can't even speak as she can't move anymore and she turns looking at her phone again in her limp hand.
I'm so sorry, I said I'd be fine on my own.
She didn't even realize she passed out not until her eyes opened again as sudden warmth hit her, let alone how it grabbed her neck. âShe's alive!â Roaches' voice screams from above her as she's ripped from the freezing cold and put on the burning hot dirt of the outback. Someone pushed her onto her back doing chest compression then grabbing her nose before blowing into her mouth her head tilted back. Once then twice. Then three times as suddenly she gains control of her breathing, her head no longer as fuzzy as she chokes breathing looking around dazed.
She's rolled onto her side. âShe's lost a huge amount of blood, the freezer floors full of it!â She hears roach climbing out as she lays her head on the dirt, unable to move besides shaking, noticing the early signs of hypothermia in her hands as they're almost blue.
âI got her phone to come on!â Roach and the second person here get in the back of the buggy and she notices finally it's a blonde man with a balaclava pulled down showing his scarred face then she sees the familiar mask on the top of his head and the tactical gear and she hears soap cursing in the front. âPatch her up already you fuckin bastards!â she looks at Ghost, feeling her tear stained face clearly along with her snot caked onto her. Seeing some on him from mouth to mouth.
He leans over her trying to wrap her head but she reaches up using what's left of her sleeve to wipe off her snot and tears off of him. He looks at her surprised but more so worried. âArenât you handsome, sorry about the snot.â her voice is barely there as her arm falls as she passes out again.
She didn't know scared older military men were her type.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#task force 141 imagine#task force 141#tf 141 x reader#x reader#cod x reader#task force 141 x reader#141 x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#john soap mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#gary roach sanderson#cod roach x reader#roach x reader#captain john price#john price#angst#john price x you#john price x reader#gaz cod#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick#cod#call of duty#cod simon ghost riley#cod x y/n
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Why did the batfam get turned down for a job?
Interviewer: How much experience do you have with kids?
Dick: *flashbacks to prying Tim and Damian apart while Jason eggs them on*
Dick: A good amount.
âââââââ
Interviewer: Can you pass a criminal background check?
Jason: No.
âââââââ
Interviewer: We got a reference from your old coworker, Alvin Draper.
Tim: Oh, that was fast.
Interviewer: He says you suck.
Tim: Pfft, yeah. Some old workplace beef. You think he'd be over it by now.
âââââââ
Interviewer: Do you have a valid driver's license?
Damian: Tt. Age limit this, driver's license that. If this was truly a free country I can get by without one.
Interviewer: Normally I'd agree with you, but we're a traveling petting zoo.
âââââââ
Interviewer: Tell me aboutâ
Killer Croc: *throws a car outside the window*
Duke: Um... gotta use the restroom. Be right back.
[10 minutes later]
Duke: *slides into his chair*
Duke: Where were we?
Interviewer: I was asking you aboutâ
Scarecrow: *plants a fear gas bomb across the street*
Duke: I think my phone's ringing. One moment please.
âââââââ
Interviewer: It says here you were fired from the movie theater. Can you tell me why?
Cullen: I spoiled the end credit scenes of Marvel movies.
Interviewer: And how can we be sure it won't happen here?
Cullen: This is Hot Topic, right?
âââââââ
Stephanie: âlong story short, I decided "to heck with it" and went to prom with an inflatable Riddler clone named Fernando. I'm sorry, what was your question again?
Interviewer: ...How are you?
âââââââ
Cassandra: *shows up*
Interviewer: For the last time, we're not hiring!
âââââââ
Barbara: There's a typo in your job posting. I also found that your LinkedIn page needs to be updated. Here is my full analysis with all my suggestions. And of course, assuming your application portal is up to date, you can see that I meet all of the qualifications.
Interviewer: Except you must be 35 to run for president.
âââââââ
Interviewer: Why do you want this job?
Harper: Money.
Interviewer: Other than that.
Harper: *thinks for a second*
Harper: No that's it.
âââââââ
Interviewer: What's your greatest strength?
Carrie: I'm double-jointed. I can bend my fingers like this. See?
âââââââ
Interviewer: Please explain this gap in your resumĂŠ.
Kate: Don't tell me what to do.
âââââââ
Interviewer: Have you ever stolen from your workplace?
Selina: Never.
*interviewer's wallet falls from Selina's pant leg*
âââââââ
Interviewer: And why should Wayne Enterprises hire you?
Bruce: My name is literally on the building.
âââââââ
Interviewer: We're sorry, Mr. Pennyworth, I don't think you'll be a good fit for us. I heard the Waynes are hiring next door, though.
Alfred: This is preposterous.
Alfred: *leaves*
Alfred: *goes next door*
Alfred: Good afternoon, I am here forâ
Martha: Oh thank heavens, he's here.
Thomas: We're late for our conference. Keys are under the mat, the bed still needs to be made, and the baby took a huge crap just now.
Martha: *hands over baby Bruce*
Alfred: I supposed I'm hired then?
Baby Bruce: *blows a snot bubble*
Alfred, chuckling: At your service, young master.
#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#cullen row#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#harper row#carrie kelley#kate kane#alfred pennyworth#selina kyle#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#gotham rogues#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics#headcanon
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Again, calling whatâs happening Palestine a âwarâ is a crock of bs
Cause last I saw, Israelis arenât being displaced from their homes and constantly being shuffled around to âsafe zonesâ and then being bombed while at these âsafe zonesâ
Their hospitals and homes and schools are still in tact and they have food and water and shelter
Israeli journalists arenât being intentionally targeted and murdered
Israelis arenât having to eat dirt and leaves in order to survive, theyâre not being starved to death
All of the above is happening to Palestinians, while the IDF targets them day and night in some weird hope to âwipe out Hamasâ even though their efforts have been quite shit and instead are just killing any Palestinian thatâs in their way
How is it antisemitism to point out that the lives of Palestinians are being put in danger by the hands of Israelis
Itâs never been about Hamas or the hostages itâs full blown ethnic cleansing and genocide, why you need to the âapprovalâ from some âexpertsâ when the evidence is shown day in and day out is beyond me
And quit it with the whole âoh no one should be dyingâ BS when itâs just âall lives matterâ in a different font
1. The safe zones they move to are no longer safe zones because Hamas uses them as military zones and undertakes military business in those zones. Under international law, it is a war crime to use a protected building or zone as it makes it no longer a protected zone and makes Israel allowed to attack the area. Whilst intentionally killing civilians is also a war crime and would be the IDF's fault, if any civilians get caught in the crossfire or get any stray fire, Hamas is at fault for their deaths. If hamas cared for their civilians, they would not carry out military business in safe zones.
2. Journalists aren't being intentionally attacked. Hamas and AL Jazeera misreport who are journalists. For example, a builder who was killed was reported as being a journalist. He was not a journalist. Here is a source which goes into it and shows examples of the lies.
3. It is absolutely terrible that Palestinians are starving, but it is not Israel's fault. Enough aid enters the strip to feed people in Gaza. However Hamas and UNWRA staff (which has links to Hamas), instead of letting aid org deal out aid evenly, steals aid and sells it. Palestinians are literally having to purchase aid from Hamas. Aid that they are supposed to get for free. Source.
4. Saying that i don't want anyone dying is not at all akin to saying all lives matter. One is an opinion, the other is twisting a phrase to change the meaning of the original phrase.
Black lives matter means that obviously all lives matter however black lives need to be focused on due to being at a higher risk. All lives matter twists black lives matter into a false meaning of only black lives matter and no other lives.
Saying that "I don't want anyone to die" is a factual statement of my opinion. It is a fact that i do not want anyone to die. It's not me twisting it to make it seem like Palestinian lives are lesser or that no one should be focusing on Palestinian lives.
Considering your media literally is already poor enough for you to believe misinformation, it is not surprising that you lack the reading comprehension to understand the difference between an actual opinion and a phrase being twisted to change the meaning of another phrase.
Lastly, yeah, I am waiting for people with the authority to call what Israel is doing a genocide as since the last ruling on the matter, Israel was not found to be committing genocide at that point in time yet people were screaming their heads off claiming that Israel was.
I like to wait for people who have the authority because they are more knowledgeable than me. Do you believe that the earth is flat because people scream online that it is? Or do you go by what people who have the relevant qualifications say on the matter which is that the earth is round?
The reason why it's antisemitic to call Israel genocidal, is because the current official rule on the matter is that they are not doing genocide and that false claims of jews being murderous is an antisemitic trope. Like legitimately, it is an antisemitic trope in the proto of elder zion, an infamous antisemitic book. Jews have been plagued for centuries with claims of using children's blood, which is false and antisemitic. I am not going to apologize for calling out the same age old antisemitic tropes repackaged for the modern day
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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (5)
harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker â social media AU
About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. Sheâs also a fan of Harryâs music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.
Disclaimer: The story itâs set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I wonât be basing myself on Harryâs actual posts.
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PART 4 â THE VIDEO // MASTERLIST
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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 5) â FROM SAN ANTONIO TO DALLAS
liked by bestfriend, sisterinlaw, cuteguy and 63,157 othersÂ
yourinstagram sightseeing tonight đ getting to know these cities only gets better and better guysÂ
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harryfan7 was this before or after dinner with harry? đ
âł harryfan3 stoppp. my heart cant take it âł harryfan11 no bc the idea of them walking together and stopping to take pictures itâs just so đ¤
lookitsnyoh đŚ pillowpersonpp 𦥠anthonypham đ§¸
âł harryfan not the teddy bear!!!Â
harryfan117 MISS SARAH JONES IS HERE user8 whats with all the emojis guys!! let me innnnn user1 YOUâRE BACK 𼰠bestfriend its not the city its all you baby bc you light up the world like nobody else
âł harryfan that was just⌠Ⳡharryfan5 HEJAHDH NO YOU DIDNR âł yourinstagram âŚ. Ⳡyourinstagram i dont even know how to react Ⳡbestfriend wish i could say im sorry or embarrassed but im actually notÂ
cuteguy Looks amazing!
Sep 10, 2021 â˘
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liked by user1, user4 and 517 others
cuteguy congrats darling ďź yourinstagramÂ
view all 75 commentsÂ
harryfan60 see?? she isnât dating Harry
âł harryfan58 I fucking knew it Ⳡharryfan62 hope this pr nonsense stopsÂ
user14 little sus but alright ig randomguy cool bro user44 dude thereâs no way she hasnât cheated on you lol user3 you guys are so fucking disrespectful can you pls leave this man alone???
âł user26 I mean heâs the one who decided to go public so⌠đ¤ˇââď¸ âł user3 his ig being public doesnât automatically mean youâre supposed to be rude tho.Â
user36 Am I the only one who finds this picture adorable?
âł user38 me too!! i was looking for a nice comment about it lol thanks! âł user36 I mean they definitely look like a couple and idk itâs a cute pic :( â¤ď¸ liked by authorÂ
Sep 10, 2021 â˘
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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, cuteguy and 63,879 othersÂ
yourinstagram update time: went out for a run and my lungs got on fire. view was great though. zero complaints. also the show last night was INCREDIBLE.Â
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bestfriend shut up you actually went for a run??Â
âł harrystyles I wouldnât call that going for a ârunâ. Ⳡbestfriend okay that actually makes more sense now âł yourinstagram excuse me?????Â
harryfan OMFG harry interacting with yourbff???Â
âł harryfan5 I KNOW! where are you ďź bestfriend are you still alive??? Ⳡbestfriend no Ⳡbestfriend but im pretending to be cool about it so 𤍠Ⳡharryfan OMFHAJDHPAHDJ ILY
cuteguy đ user7 yessss! two days in a row!!!! thank you!!! user1 looks so prettyyyyyy! hope youâre doing okay <33
âł yourinstagram i am!! thank you love <333Â
yourbrother Wonât believe youâve moved your ass to be healthy until I see it. Â
âł yourinstagram the fact that you dont believe me wont change the fact that it happened :D
harryfan15 harry is such a stalker. interacting with her posts when he doesnât even follow her lol harryfan25 Anne started following her!!! user10 Not to rush you, but are we getting more videos anytime soon? I was so used to getting one every week⌠:( user25 So⌠Sheâs officially dating that cuteguy, isnât she?Â
âł user17 What? Who said that? Ⳡuser25 TMZ updated that article of her and Harry having dinner with this picture of them âł user17 Oh⌠Where can I see this picture? âł user25 Sheâs tagged on it. ďź cuteguy posted it Ⳡuser13 i wouldnât believe (or read) TMZ guys âł harryfan68 funny how you wonât believe TMZ when itâs about this guy but youâll believe them when itâs about harry âł user13 lmao Iâm not in that fandom so I couldnât care less about her dating harry or not.Â
harryfan13 SO WE ARE ALL GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT HARRY AND YN WENT OUT FOR A RUN TOGETHER?????
âł harryfan60 Yes bc no one actually believes they did. Next. âł harryfan68 hahaha you ate this oneÂ
Sep 10, 2021 â˘
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liked by harryfan, harryfan2, harryfan3 and 4,375 othersÂ
harryupdates A fan met Harry in San Antonio today!Â
According to the fan, Harry said he was on a tight schedule so couldnât stay for a chat, but agreed to take a quick picture and thanked her for going to the show.Â
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fanwhometharry âThank you so much I hope you enjoyed itâ, those were his words exactly :â)
âł harryfan27 OMG IT WAS YOU?? YOUâRE SO LUCKY âł fanwhometharry I know!! Thank you!!! âł harryfan24 was he alone?? Ⳡfanwhometharry No, he was walking with his personal trainer and Yn âł harryfan52 his personal trainer also has a name btw and itâs Brad Ⳡfanwhometharry Sorry, I donât keep up with his personal trainer 𤡠I only know Yn bc I watch her youtube videos âł harryfan9 donât apologize theyâre always finding something to complain about lol happy for you!!
harryfan72 How convenient⌠He always agrees to take pictures when Yn is around đÂ
âł harryfan68 right??? almost as if he WANTS people to spread the wordâŚÂ
harryfan13 I KNEW I WAS RIGHT AND THEY WERE TOGETHER
Sep 10, 2021 â˘
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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, cuteguy and 61,574 othersÂ
yourinstagram DALLAS! you are sooooo so pretty <3 we arrived yesterday and im already in love. it was a sunny afternoon so i went out for a walk, and as i was on my way to buy some flowers to myself (bc i wanted some so i got some) i had one of those surreal moments thinking about how lucky i am to be where i am right now. im always waiting for this feeling to eventually go away so i can come back to my âold lifeâ and my âold selfâ, but now im kinda considering that as time goes by and i get to know more and more places, it will actually only grow bigger and bigger, right? :â)Â
(in that case, feel free to unfollow me now bc the annoyance will only grow bigger and bigger as well â consider yourself warned.)
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sisterinlaw The summer vibes are gorgeous! harryfan42 WAS HARRY WITH YOU???? user1 another post??? feels like going back to the old times im so happy!!! harryfan64 this girl wonât even post her face and she got like 4k new followers in one dayÂ
âł harrystyles82 Itâs the Harry Styles effect Ⳡharryfan64 glad im not the only one who sees it đ¤Ą
harryfan YN? DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SAY I WANTED SOME SO I GOT SOME???Â
âł harryfan5 i saw that too i was like⌠okay đ âł harryfan9 hahaha I hope she actually did get some tbh Ⳡharryfan13 ME TOO!! âł bestfriend yes. she 100% did âł harryfan9 đ˛ âł harryfan lmaoshuahsjbjh Ⳡharryfan17 wait ďź bestfriend she 100% say âi wanted some so i got someâ or she 100% got some? Ⳡharryfan23 oh god i cant believe this is a real conversation you guys are having HAHAHA
user17 please keep feeding us with your random cute posts!! <3 i love them!! bestfriend fgs ďź yourinstagram have some manners bestfriend i thought you didnt like exposing yourself like this bestfriend also⌠your mom is on instagram soâŚÂ bestfriend PLEASEÂ
âł yourinstagram omfg shut upppp ahusdhjahj âł yourinstagram stop encouraging the nonsense behavior??? âł yourinstagram you KNOW i meant the flowers âł yourinstagram i wanted some FLOWERS so i got some FLOWERS âł bestfriend yeah i know đ âł bestfriend sorry its just too funny sometimes đ
loveynrry did anyone else notice yn hasnât liked THAT picture yet? đ
âł user4 which one? âł loveynrry the one @/cuteguy posted âł user4 ohhhhhh đ âł user4 also did you notice yourbff doesnât follow him âł user9 shit ďź user4 i hadnât noticed that Ⳡloveynrry i did, yeah⌠thats why im sus about him âł user4 I mean, I trust yourbff judgement sooooooâŚâŚÂ
Sep 11, 2021 â˘
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â â â â âÂ
PART 6: PHILLY AND DC
â â â â âÂ
#harry styles fake ig#harry styles fake instagram#harry styles fake social media#harry styles smau#harry styles social media au#harry styles writing#harry styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry x reader
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Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow are somehow very much the image of their forebear Aegon V "Egg" Targaryen.
Egg is called the "Unlikely" for a reason. He was the youngest son of the youngest son, the trueborn grandson of Daeron II furthest from succession, yet he managed to become king. Daenerys likewise is a girl and an exiled, dispossessed royal with no lands, wealth or swords to her name at the start of the series, and by the end of the first book, lost her khal with seemingly nothing left. Yet, she manages to hatch dragon eggs and build an entire kingdom and army from the ground up. She is the exiled prince played straight. Jon is the supposed bastard son of Eddard Stark who joins the Night's Watch, yet he manages to rise to Lord Commander and could possibly become a king by the end of the series.
Jon and Dany both can relate to Egg with regards to relationships with his brothers. Daenerys had to deal with a half-mad abusive older brother in the form of Viserys while Egg was terrorized by his own half-mad sibling Aerion, and in the end, both their fraternal bullies ended up dying by fire. Jon had a good relationship with Egg's brother Maester Aemon, his fellow black brother who counsels him like he did Egg to the point he gives him the same advice of "kill the boy."
In "The Mystery Knight," the dragon egg at Whitewalls is believed to hatch a living dragon but it refers to Egg's maturation as he is unveiled as the Targaryen prince while Daenerys hatches living dragons eggs which connects to her maturation and rise.
(Note: Daenerys and Egg make their egg hatching attempts after having tragically lost their sons and spouses. Eg g and Jon both burned down places with Summerhall and Mormont's tower respectively.)
Connections are also found with physical transformation and taking on a new humble identity as a disguise under which the young prince learns about the trials of those less priveleged. Daenerys goes bald after hatching her dragon eggs, signifying her transformation from a weak, frightened girl to a "true Targaryen" just as Egg shaved off his hair to signify his transformation from Prince Aegon to Egg, squire to the hedge knight Dunk.
Aegon took on the guise of Egg as the squire to the common born hedge knight Dunk as he stayed away from royal court traveling the countryside. Daenerys grew up away from royal court in Essos always traveling from place to place while Jon (unwittingly) hides his Targaryen identity posing as Ned Stark's bastard son and rode with wildlings, associated with the smallfolk of the Night's Watch. Both Egg's descendants' views were impacted by their upbringing as Egg's was. Egg's years among the smallfolk gave him more sympathy towards them or as he was called "half a peasant" just as Jon was called "half a wildling" for having ridden with the wildlings and his upbringing as a bastard gave him more sympathy towards the marginalized along with good teachers. Daenerys's past as abused childhood growing up in poverty who sold into marriage made her sympathetic towards the slaves and children, the most marginalized and least protected members of society.
"Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?" -ASOS, Daenerys III "I am the shield that guards the realms of men. Those are the words. So tell me, my lordâwhat are these wildlings, if not men?" -ADWD, Jon XI
Put into leadership roles as Jon is elected as Lord Commander and Dany becomes queen as Egg was elected King at the Great Council, the two show solidarity with the downtrodden as Egg did.
They face frustration in pushing through needed popular changes in face of reactionary opposition up to and including rebellions. Daenerys liberates slaves and supports their rights against the slavocracy, but faces opposition in the form of the Harpy and the Yunkish coalition as Egg supported the rights of smallfolk and faced opposition in the form of rebellions by the lords. Jon pushes for reforms such as naming a former prostitute as his squire and allying with the wildlings, but faces opposition in the form of Marsh's faction.
Daenerys and Jon are Egg's spiritual successors as they try to make the world a better place, and deal with realities of ruling and leadership.
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Jonsa Reunion
Safe and Sound 1k (I just have to highlight that this was posted in 2014)
Sansa escapes Baelish and finds her way to Castle Black.
Kiss of Undeath ficlet by @haraways
Sansa brings Jon back with a kiss.
Without You I Am Nothing 1k by @asbestosmouth
Castle Black is monochrome, but Sansa blazes like the fires of Rh'llor. Jon cannot help but burn.
Gifsets: Jonsa Hug by @joanna-lannister, Jonsa Hug by @c-sand, The Girl in Grey, Jonsa Hug 1, 2 by @kitnjon
Art: Jonsa Hug, Jonsa Hug by @vierverdeen, Jonsa Hug by @themarmic
Jon Comes Back Wrong
grave-dirt 3k by @charmtion
The edge of the world. The yawning dark. In his chest, a strange sluggish beat.
back in the pulse 2k WIP by @chispas-and-broken-bindings
(Who are you?) A dead man. A monster. The mistake of many and one. (And what have you lost?) Everything. (And what have you found?) You. (And what will you do with me?) Protect you. Always.
Made of Echos and Ice 1k by @thewolvescalledmehome
Ever since coming down from the Eyrie, Sansa has had the same dream. A wolf with white paws pacing in the snow. When she learns of the betrayal at the Wall, Sansa decides to do something about her dream.
i fall to pieces (when i'm with you) 70k by usuallysunny
"Go North. Only North. Jon is Lord Commander at the Castle Black. He'll help you." He'd had good intentions, this broken shadow of a man who used to be Theon, and he couldn't have known. Sansa finds a Lord Commander at Castle Black. He has steel-grey eyes, her father's eyes, and a dark beard framing a strong jaw, and he looks and sounds and moves like Jon... But he's not Jon.
Always Her ficlet by @temporal-tempest
Jon Snow came back darker, unreachable until her hand touched his face. This is what happens when you threaten that which has become the only warmth in a dark heart.
At Castle Black
My eyes were wide open 10k by @eruherdiriel
She hesitates, then reaches for his free hand, his other still tangled in Ghostâs fur. Their palms meet, hers warm against his chilly one, and the relief that rushes through him at her touch almost makes him close his eyes and forget the throbbing pain. âDo you remember what happened?â All he recalls are knives in the dark and cold, bitter cold. * It is in dreams that Jon begins to remember who he is.
Kisses Remembered, Kisses Forgotten 2k by QueenOfSloths
She remembers the kiss that he took. The only thing she doesnât remember is him taking it. There are times when she is almost certain that she gave it willingly.
'cause i know that it's delicate 4k by @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth
Set during "Book of the Stranger," immediately after Sansa arrives at the Wall. He goes to build the fire back up, and for a few minutes he stays silent, kneeling at the hearth, not looking at her. Finally he clears his throat. âI know,â he begins, âitâs not exactly what youâre used to â â âYouâd be surprised what Iâm used to.â
make your fingers soft and light 10k by @ladyalice101
Jon goes quiet again, and his hand retracts, but just as quickly he is touching her again, oil on his fingers. He works methodically, moving from one wound to the next, one scar to another, from the base of her back to the top of her spine. Itâs so gentle, so caring, and the longer it goes on the more Sansa relaxes, the safer she feels. Her eyes dip close under his rhythmic ministrations, and her mind goes blank, and she starts to feel the familiar lull of sleep edge around her mind. âThis is supposed to make the scars fade?â Jon asks as he finishes up, his warm hands leaving her back, making her feel cold and startling her from her reverie. âYes.â She isnât sure she imagines the tightness in his voice when he speaks again. âIf you are to do this every night, then I will gladly assist you.â // Jon rubs a soothing balm into Sansa's scars every night. But that's it. Nothing more. Definitely not. He's just there to help her do what she can't do herself.
as the night came down in a Nordic sky ficlet by @miazeklos
During her first night in Castle Black, Sansa reunites with the true North, and Jon welcomes her home.
Cold Nights at Castle Black ficlet by @estherruth-jonsatrash
They were grown now, childhood behind them. Yet they had been sharing a bed more like children, with the cold at Castle Black leaving them in need of warmth. At least at first.
How I wish you would take me for granted ficlet by @trollslanda
Sometimes her hands would shake- Solely in private, when she broke her quiet surface to gasp for air. Around others she still had a mental block, passively guarding her, bringing out the Stark iron. It made her keep her back straight and eyes steady, put up a solid front. Sometimes it felt like she was rusting from the inside and her brittle bones would never be whole again. --- Set shortly after Sansa has arrived at Castle Black, when she's still learning to feel safe. As it turns out, Jon is really good at that kind of thing.
Remedy ficlet by @wildflower-daydreamer
The night Jon and Sansa reunite at Castle Black.
To break and to mend ficlet @dreams-for-spring
In those moments nothing else matters and they forget what they have lost; in those moments they are more than the sum of their broken parts.
In the quiet of the night 4k by dreams-for-spring
It becomes a habit; each night she unlatches her chamber door, and each night Jon enters just as bashfully as before. Some nights he brings terrible sour wine, and others bitter ale for them to share as they sit around the hearth speaking of everything that has happenedâeverything except what has passed between him and his black brothers. She knows that is a topic he is not ready to share. Still, she does not find sleep when he leaves, but at least for those brief hours she is not alone, and something small inside of her begins to burn brighter with each night that passes. She tries to ignore the voice that tells her it is hope; hope is a dangerous thing for people like them.
Tous Deux On est Repartis dans le Tourbillon de la Vie 1k by @melimelo-ao3
He couldnât even begin to picture what she had endured, what she had lived through. Yet, hearing her pleading in the night, he would give anything to know, to be able to understand her, to soothe her. He had only ever wanted to soothe her.
Gifsets: Where Will We Go by c-sand, Brienne Reacts to Jonsa, New Dress by @jonstarks How Could We Know, Sansa Tries Ale, Where Will We Go, Sansa Making Jon's Cloak, I Made This for You by kitnjon
Traveling the North
Five Times They Touch 1k by @justchunkit
She doesnât touch him for days. Weeks. They travel from keep to stronghold, living in close quarters as theyâd never done even as children. She is so close, but an icy veneer has covered the exhausted girl heâd started to know, and they can hardly exchange a good morning without it evolving into an argument.
Some Love Stories Need a Little Help 2k @graceverse
Or how Tormund effectively makes Jon share a tent with Sansa
Unnatural 2k by @amymel86
Once he is close enough, she leaps at him, arms wrapping him up and his nose buried in her copper hair. The shuddering exhale he expels is the most amount of sound heâs made in days but all he can hear is Sansaâs sniffling and the way their two hearts talk to one another in beats of the same song.
Gifsets: Arguing, Eye Contact, Jon Reacting to Sansa by jonstarks Side by Side by @baelerion
Pre Battle of the Bastards
we may only have this night 2k by wearycities
She summoned an image of Jon in her mind. When he saw her, at Castle Black. His eyes, his face. His hands letting go of the railing, like it had burned him. She could not stop thinking about his hands. She had turned the memory over and over in her mind on countless sleepless nights, wondering what it meant. After her argument with Jon the night before the Battle of the Bastards, Sansa returned to his tent.
The Madness of Dead and Broken Things 1k by @estherruth-jonsatrash
The first time, Jon tells himself itâs the last time. Jon gives into his feelings for Sansa the night before the Battle of the Bastards, telling himself he'll die the next day. He isn't prepared for the after of survival.
the night before the fight ficlet by @sailorshadzter
jon & sansa spend a night together before the battle of the bastards. pre parental reveal hookup, read at your own risk. nsfw.
Before the Storm 1k
Snowflakes fell from the grey sky, covering the ground in white even more than it already was. Grey and white, Sansa thought to herself. The Stark colors.
A gaze across a field 1, 2 ficlets by fedonciadale
Sansa's thoughts as she contemplates the possible outcome of the battle.
Gifsets: Arguing, You Don't Have to Be Here, I'll protect You I Promise by jonstarks, Pre and During BotB by baelerion, Jon Pummeling Ramsay by kitnjon, Jon Pummeling Ramsay by c-sand
Post Battle of the Bastards
Bloodstains and Stitches Chapter 1 and 2 by @trollslanda
Two scenes set after Battle of the Bastards: 1. In the courtyard, Jons pov. Post-battle calmdown and fluff I guess but also there's dead bodies and stuff. I dunno. 2. Sansa cleaning his wounds and stitching him up, her pov. A pretty sweet scene where they get a moment to breathe.
A Little Friction ficlet by @justchunkit
âYou donât know anything about me.â âBecause you wonât tell me anything!â After the Battle of the Bastards, Jon and Sansa try to get to know each other.
Of Justice and Ghosts 1k by @lurikko
He knows his sister is watching him carefully like they are the only two humans left in the world, as they in a way are, and that makes his every remaining piece crumble.
Ghosts that We Knew 7k @the-prophet-lemonade
In the wake of the Battle of the Bastards, and the proclamation of the North's fealty to the Starks once more, Jon and Sansa see the ghosts of their family all-around. Sometimes, it becomes difficult to separate the past from the present when so many that they love are dead. A series of vignettes based around "nostalgia", and Jon & Sansa compared to Ned & Catelyn and the rest of their family.
they say that weâre out of control and some say weâre sinners 14k
Doesnât have enough time to reminisce on the past because sheâs turned around, and heâs seen her face, and itâs her. Canât be anyone but her even underneath all that smudged dirt on her pale cheeks. Would know the red of her hair anywhere, he thinks. Doesnât linger on the why, and instead descends down the steps and towards her. Sheâs turned her body so sheâs facing him now, her eyes tracking his every move, his doing the same. Theyâre so in sync itâs terrifying, really.
Five Kisses 1k by @ben-barnes-is-my-husband
The five kisses that Jon and Sansa have shared.
Undisclosed Desires 4k Nina36
âWhy did you stop?â She asked. I was ashamed. He was yours. I was terrified that you saw who I am. He was yours to kill. It was what you needed.
bet you didn't know that i was dangerous 4k by @ladyalice101
âI mean that your brother took a woman to bed, and when he had his way with her, he said your name into her ear over and over again.â // In which Littlefinger tests for Jon's weaknesses, and discovers a secret.
Soiled 5k by @orangeflavoryawp
"'Talk to me, Sansa,' he pleads, voice wavering, and she shuts her eyes to the sound. Like a gale. Like a mountain coming down. This is how it empties from her. 'What do you want me to say?"' she bites out, voice quaking." - Jon and Sansa. The start of their descent.
Dark in Bloom 8k by orangeflavoryawp
"His gravity wavers, the axis of his world tilted to the measure of her lips." - Jon and Sansa. The stain of desire bleeds slowly between them.
Hallowed 5k by orangeflavoryawp
ââTell me,â he growls, more demand than heâs ever given her â crown or not â and the feeling is heady in its fervency. Sansa stares him down, mouth a harsh frown. She doesnât resist his hold, doesnât ease into it either. âHe says your affections for me arenât⌠brotherly.ââ - Jon and Sansa. An encounter with Lord Baelish brings the truth of their desires to light.
but still you stumble, feet give way, outside the world seems a violent place 3k by @parkersedith
When she looks at him, she cannot see anyone other than Jon, especially with him wearing a simple breeches and tunic, divested of all ornaments, even Longclaw. She can only see Jon, not her bastard half-brother, not the King in the North, not the Lord Commander of the Nightâs Watch, not a wildling, but only Jon, the Jon who took Winterfell back with her, the Jon who fought their battle, the Jon who has been there, at her side, ever since she found him again. or; instead of roaming winterfell when she cannot sleep, sansa goes to jon, and to jon's bed. it's not quite as illicit as it sounds, and gives them a chance to finally, truly, talk
In the quiet of the night 4k by @dreams-for-spring
It becomes a habit; each night she unlatches her chamber door, and each night Jon enters just as bashfully as before. Some nights he brings terrible sour wine, and others bitter ale for them to share as they sit around the hearth speaking of everything that has happenedâeverything except what has passed between him and his black brothers. She knows that is a topic he is not ready to share. Still, she does not find sleep when he leaves, but at least for those brief hours she is not alone, and something small inside of her begins to burn brighter with each night that passes. She tries to ignore the voice that tells her it is hope; hope is a dangerous thing for people like them.
love is more than telling me you want it 2k
When he smiles at her, she feels warmth flooding back into her bones. Sheâd almost forgotten what it feels like, sheâs been cold for so long. Sansa and Jon learn to be something other than ships passing in the night.
Gifsets: Jon Looking at Sansa by jonstarks, Sansa Looking at Jon by baelerion, Forehead Kiss by joanna-lannister, Winter Is Here by kitnjon, Forehead Kiss by c-sand
PRE CANON - WESTERN - FAIRYTALES - REGENCY - LITTLE WOMEN - HOLIDAY - next week -> ANNE OF GREEN GABLES
#jonsa#jonsa fic#s6 aus#missing scenes#show verse#apologies to all the beautiful gifsets and art I couldn't include this time#i forgot there was a limit on links!#dot fic list
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Absolutely love your writing for all the AU/5 headcanons asks. Can I ask: AU where Rei cheats on Endeavor with All Might? It happens after AM's injury, so she doesn't recognize him, and he ofc doesn't know that she's married in the first place, much less to whom
you make this very difficult for me by giving me a window of 6 and half years for them to have an affair and for every single moment of that window, Rei is institutionalized. how am i supposed to get them to meet, much less take their clothes off. ok. think. there are other fic writers who specialize in this kind of thing, surely. what would they do....
1- ok so. The fire alarm at the hospital goes off. Rei doesn't know if it's a drill or not, but she's been there for seven years and generally does not need a lot of support during something like this like other patients do, so the nurses wave her out and she stands around outside a bit waiting for the fire alarm to stop and them to go back in. (It isn't a drill, they wouldn't have evacuated everyone if it was, but Rei is on the other side of the building and facing away from seeing any smoke) (This smoke is from a villain attack that All Might is taking care of, though he's only got seconds left of his power to use that day. he quickly rushes off, deflating and stumbling out on the other side of the hospital. Where Rei is.)
2- Rei is like "huh that guy doesnt seem to be in good shape" and kinda waves attention at him, and a nurse who's passing out water to patients and keeping an eye on the road gives Toshinori some too, getting more concerned when he dazedly answers that he's All Might and coughs up blood, but the nurse figures he's concussed since he smells of smoke and must have been closer to the fight, and is just reeling from being able to see the number one hero in person. Then they get distracted and wave Toshi to wait nearby, where Rei offers to chill his water and asks if he's alright, if he breathed in any smoke.
3- They chat and then go back into the hospital as it's un-evacuated together, Rei hanging out in the lobby where he sits as the hospital staff focus on getting everyone else back to their rooms. It pays to be low priority sometimes. Eventually she tells him her name is Rei and that she's in room K18, if he ever wants to visit or call. She doesn't get to talk to anyone except doctors, family visitors, or other paitients, and most of them don't stay nearly as long as she does. It's been seven years, and she's very lonely. Toshinori is lonely too, and when he's out of time for a day and feeling useless with nothing to do, he likes to talk to a friend.
4- Rei has been in the hospital for eight years when it gets physical. At that point, Toshinori knows a bit about her family. She has kids, mentions visits from a son and daughter, and then quietly mentioned when her son turned seventeen- her daughter's already twenty. She's been there for so much of their lives. He asks if she's married, and she admits she isn't sure how to file for divorce in a hospital like she is, if she even can, if she wants to because she'd lose custody, if it matters when she's not raising them anyway. He doesn't ask much more, knows there is a dead child and a baby she says isn't safe with her there. Toshinori never called Nana 'mom' to her face while she was alive, and had a reason for it, and has a similar reason for not asking more, not asking for the other names when he gets Fuyumi and Natsuo's. Yes, the doctors and nurses all know Rei has a boyfriend who visits. they don't say anything. who would they even tell, anyway. I debated the humor of reusing the bit from candlelight shoto that Toshi and Rei could have a kid with a fire quirk, but yeah here? Rei ain't getting pregnant, absolutely not.
5- When Natsuo turns eighteen, Rei does actually file for divorce, or at least tries to get the ball rolling on that. Toshinori's trusted her that her marriage is over in all but name, but he's more at ease with it ended fully. Fuyumi is crushed but burying it all deep inside. Natsuo is like 'what are you talking about. divorce is the most normal possible outcome here.' But anyway, Rei also begins to bring up being discharged- something she never bothered with earlier, when it seemed like she'd never be able to go home while Shoto was there, and never would want to go back anyway. (Her parents are absolutely not an option either so where would she go once discharged? the hospital was her only security.) Toshinori then tells her at this point about his diagnosis, that he's supposed to be terminal, in a way. He doesn't have a lot of time he can give her. Rei says that's ok, she'll take what she can get. She moves in. Fuyumi still goes out to eat with her once a week, though Rei doesn't say she's moved in with a boyfriend, just says she's in a safe place and it's not Fuyumi's job to worry about it, please, let her do that, relax, be her daughter instead of a mother. Natsuo adds her to his cellphone plan and gets her one. Rei doesn't tell Toshinori her ex's identity. Toshinori doesn't tell her about OfA, though she does know he's mentoring a student for heroics and is very proud of him. (Toshinori is a secretary at Might Tower, he's a great mentor. Oh huh, he got a job position at UA at the same time as All Might, she wonders if they carpool.)
+1- OK THE REVEAL so the reveal is. Toshinori gets home from the SF. And Rei almost knocks him out by the door, eyes wide and panicked, asking if he's ok, if Shoto's ok. Toshinori is like "... young todoroki? yeah he's alright? i know his fight with young bakugo looked bad but- Rei???" And that's when it all clicks for him, he's having dozens of horrible realizations at once, all while Rei weeps over her youngest. Toshinori's been a hero for a very, very long time. He's felt hopeless, before. But even then, he's known what needs to be done, he just isn't able to do it. But now? he's at a complete loss with no idea what he should do.
#quick poll here. um. do we think shoto knows his parents are divorced#because i mean theres a lot of things he doesnt know about his family that he should#its not like they're really talking at that point#on the other hand. would enji have told him out of frustration for him clinging to his ice when rei left them?#basically. which one is funnier#Shoto going 'mom divorced you??? OH HELL YEAH GOOD FOR HER IM ONLY USING ICE TO CELEBRATE THAT i mean i know she hates me sure she should.#as long as she isn't tied to YOU anymore either we are going down hand in unlovable hand old man!!!'#or#shoto having no idea of the divorce and so when the truth comes out#either from toshinori or rei#hes like 'HELL YEAH YOUVE BEEN CHEATING ON DAD WITH ALL MIGHT???? HIGH FIVE MOM THATS THE BEST POSSIBLE REVENGE DABI WISHES HE'D#ORCHESTRATED THIS BUT HE NEVER HAD THE CREATIVITY TO!!! wait what do you mean its not cheating anymore because youre divorced'#these tags are funny because wow theres a lot of yikes and heavy stuff in the main post. ah ha ha. ah.#pocket talks to people#ask game#anon
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Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?
Summary: winning the games as a Career was supposed to be the best day of your life and yet it all comes crashing down as president Snow makes a radical decision.
Hi! I'm back after some time but I had a bit of a writer block and my bachelor paper was kicking my ass but here I am!! This is inspired by Taylor Swift's song "Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?" and the reader is Mags grand-child! I'm not sure with who the reader is going to end up with but we will see!
Main Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @kmc1989, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain
Nothing.
You feel nothing. Not even after they announced you as the winner, the winner of the 75th Hunger Games.Â
There was a part of you that always expected it to be the best day of your life, you had been trained for it, groomed, and prepped since you were born.
And yet the only thing you can feel as the final canon goes off is the utter guilt and pain in your chest. The supposed victory gets washed away with a terrible feeling of guilt; your hands that had already been coated with blood were now making you feel sick.Â
The knife in your hand falls to the ground just as your legs give up, making you fall to the ground on your knees. Some would see it as a pure relief from the win, but they donât know how it is the flashes of lifeless bodies that drag you down to the ground.
Each one of your victimsâ flashes before your eyes, the sweet girl from twelve, the little boy from district nine and so many others before your final kill, the boy from one. He could have won it; he had the strength and the speed for it but, in the end, he made too many mistakes and the voice of your trainer told you to go for the kill.
âGive them a showâ they told you. And as you look around the arena, water lapping around the shore of the beach, reminding you of home you realize that you did. They wonât be able to say that you won by luck, like some say about Brutus. You won like a Career was supposed to.
There are people coming into the arena, first picking up the lifeless body of the district one boy, the last body of the other dead tributes. You realize in the plane back to the Capitol that in the end you killed all of them, doesnât matter if they died by your hands or not, they didnât survive the arena, but you did.
Before you know it, you feel a weird sensation, like someone has put some morphine into your body and you fall to the floor. Silently you beg for it to kill you and save you from the all-consuming guilt that hasnât stopped building up since the last canon went off.Â
--
Finnick is looking at you with worried eyes when you finally manage to wake up, his blue-green eyes flicker over your features as if he doesnât really believe you are there.
âWelcome back winner, itâs good to have your backâ, the phrase is said softly, but you can see some form of sadness in his eyes as he looks at you, as if he is already missing something.Â
You want to tell him that there is nothing to miss, that you are still the girl you were before you entered the arena, but you have never made a habit of lying so you donât.Â
âHi,â you simply whisper, your throat feels like itâs on fire and Finnick smiles gently before giving you a cup of water.
âThey are going to be bringing you some food later, but I wanted to talk with you before that,â there is a certain unease that follows his words as you see him taking a deep breath.
âWhat happened in the arena, it could cost you a lot,â you feel confused at his words, not understanding what he could possibly mean by that.Â
âWhen you sang that song to district two boy,â he clarifies, and the memories come back to you, memories perhaps you wished wouldnât come back. He had killed your district partner once the Career alliance crumbled, and you immediately answered his kill by hitting him in the chest with a knife. But as he looked at you with terrified eyes you suddenly remembered that he was only a 14-year-old child, trying to save himself. You stayed by his side, ignoring your trainers voice inside of your head that told you to leave and never look back, but you couldnât. You held his hand and started to sing an old lullaby your mother used to sing to you before you left for the academy.Â
He had died, his hand griping yours, but a final smile etched on his lips.
âI donât understand the issue, he was a dying boy who needed reassurance,â you tell Finnick, struggling over the word âdyingâ and Finnick nods in understanding.
âI know, but President Snow doesnât see it that way. He sees it as some sort of defiance, and him thinking that is not a good thing,â Finnick whispers and you feel sick at the words, your stomach forming knots.
âWhat is going to happen?â, you canât help but ask, deep inside of you some part wonders if he would kill you for that, and that you would be able to not face that small amount of guilt you had felt in the arena that was now coming back in waves.
âYou will have to meet him before the crowning ceremony, he wants to talk to you,â the words have a certain tone to them, that tells you that there truly is no choice in the matter.
âAny advice?â, you ask, looking at your mentor who seemed to know everything when you met him.
âDonât cross him,â he tells you before they come in with dinner and you look at it with uninterested eyes.Â
âJust eat what you can, you wonât eat a lot the first few days as your stomach is smaller due to the games,â Finnick tells you that as if you hadnât known of it, as if they hadnât told you all about it during your years at the academy.Â
When Finnick leaves and everyone else is gone you take the time to lift up your hospital gown, the scar that had been left by a small knife is gone, making your stomach drop.
As you start searching for any signs of the scars from the arena that you had gotten during your days in there you can only find smooth skin. The scar from when you fell down the stairs when you were little is gone, the scar on your leg from one summer ago is gone and every little scar that had lithered your body and made you, you are gone. Itâs like they had taken a wipe and wiped you clean, to make you ready for the Capitol.Â
You canât sleep, not like you used to be able to. The familiar faces of the children in the arena follow you and the nightmares follow you one after the other. And as you wake up one final time you find President Snow sitting next to you. You think itâs another nightmare for a moment but the bright light shining into your eyes and the headache starting to form makes you realize that this is real.Â
âPresident Snow, itâs an honor to meet you,â you managed to say, your voice breaking over the words as you havenât had anything to drink yet. The man gives you a glass of water and you drink it quietly, hoping for it too last longer than it does.
âI wish I could say the same Miss Flanagan,â his words are cold, much like his last name and you try not to shiver at them, but it gets difficult as the silence follows.
âYour grand-mother, Mags, was one of the first victors to come out of the arena and just like you she was seen as a worthy winner,â you canât help but nod, thinking of your grand-mother who had stayed in district four, unable to look at you in the games while she was in the room watching them.
âHowever, she seemed to know how to act, from what I have seen you canât,â the words are slow, precise and cut like a knife.
âI am sorry for what I did in the arena sir, it wasnât my intention to do something negative,â you try to say, you try to convince him that you didnât have a thought behind the action you had, except for wanting to reassure the poor boy.
âThis system that we have here Miss Flanagan is a fragile one and it needs to be kept stable. A girl from district four singing to a dying boy from two will give people that wrong ideas. It could lead them to think that you are more alike than you think you are,â you manage not to tell him that you all are the same, just kids thrown into an arena, some better prepared than others but still kids. Somehow the president seems to have understood what you were thinking.
âI will only say this once, and I hope you will listen to me. It is extremely important that the system stays stable, and I will not let that system be broken by a girl doing something without thinking, is that clear?â, his voice is colder than before, threats coating his words, making you shiver.
âVery clear sir, I promise you I wonât do anything like that ever again,â you whisper, trying to keep your heart from beating out of your chest.
âAnd yet your promise isnât enough,â he tells you, making you want to scream and beg him to tell you how you can somehow fix something you didnât even knew you had done.
âBeing a winner from district four and a winner of a Quarter Quell will get you a lot of attention and I canât risk you making a wrong step,â you want to tell him that you have Finnick by your side but you stop yourself, unable to talk as if he had taken all your teeth from your mouth, rendering you unable to talk.
âThe public has been comparing your games to the one of Haymitch Abernathy, the previous winner of the Quarter Quell,â you remember him, not his games, but the broken man who seemed a bit more alive due to his victors win last year. Everyone had told you at the academy that Haymitch was just a washed out drunk but as you had watched the man closely you couldnât help but think there was something more.
âPeople think you would make a marvelous couple and I tend to agree,â his words make your blood turn cold, his eyes calculating but a sadistic smile on his lips makes you think of a serpent, ready to attack.
âIâm not sure I follow sir,â you say after a moment of silence.
âIt is quite simple miss Flanagan; I need you out of the spotlight and what better way to do that then to ban you to district twelve by marrying you too the winner of the last Quarter Quell. Sure, the marriage and your engagement will be quite the talk of the town but once that is over and your tour no one will pay attention to you anymore,â you feel your breathing quicken and yet it is as if you arenât able to get any air inside of your lungs at his words.
âPlease sir, Iâll do anything,â you try to plead but the president shakes his head.
âMy decision is final, and it is a rather kind one if I do say so myself. Unless you would prefer to do what mister Odair has been doing all these years,â the prostitution, you know about it, it was difficult not to when Finnick would come crying into your grand-motherâs arms after a nightmare. It was the worst kept secret in the academy.
âNo sir,â you say, feeling like a puppet on a string, unable to do anything.
âGood. Your engagement will be announced a few days before your tour. I would suggest you start packing your affairs because once you start your tour you will never go back to district four,â he closes the door behind him as if he hadnât just destroyed your whole life and you canât help but let out a choked sob.Â
The tears that you had been holding back since the arena came falling down your cheeks as the guilt from the arena and the helplessness combined with each other as one.Â
#hunger games x reader#hunger games fanfiction#hunger games finnick#president snow#finnick odair#haymitch abernathy#haymitch x reader#the hunger games
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want me
leon kennedy x reader
2K words
summary : you're given a vaccine to cure you of the man-made virus you're infected with- but no one told you it would be painful, or that it would cause an old crush to surface. as your thoughts clear, you realise that leon kennedy is right next door, so you may as well, right?
warnings : lots of swearing, mentions of nsfw (just jokes, no actual smut), one vaguely gory description at the beginning ? potential for some actually REALLY heavy making out and like. hands under the shirt (no boobs tho soz)
no use of Y/N, gn reader, no spoilers for any of the games, no set time when this is supposed to be set. again kinda short but idk what yalls standards are for fic lengths
A/N : no picture for this one bcs my tumblr fucks up the quality of EVERYTHING. also for u lot to picture whichever leon u want <3
Pain is nothing new to me.Â
Iâve been thrown off buildings and out of cars, drowned, strangled, smacked, shot, punched, kicked, bitten- the works, really. I know what it feels like to hurt; when your insides twist and turn and burn as if begging you to just die, relieve the pain a little.Â
But this?Â
Oh, this is a whole new kind of pain. I know itâs not normal. Some fucker put a man-made virus in me; doctors had to give me a vaccine, because my life was on the line, et cetera, et cetera. But what they didnât tell me was that the bioweapon living in me would fight, claw, and scream; that it would not go down easily, like I hoped it would.Â
I can hardly breathe, curled into a ball on a cot in an empty hospital room. My throat is burning, my heart thumping violently in my chest. I am Prometheus; an eagle standing over me, tearing out my liver, letting the blood drip onto my face as it chews. I feel the dread of regeneration; the knowledge that as soon as the eagle is finished, it will tear back into my belly, cawing happily. I see it, for a moment, as I dance in and out of reality; only the eagle has bright golden eyes and there is so much blood.Â
I feel like Iâve been bent over and fucked raw with a sword made of fire.Â
I sob and scream into my hand; the doctors have given me painkillers, but theyâre doing shit fuck all for the pain. I swim in and out of consciousness for hours, my vision blurry, everything around me muffled. I canât tell if theyâve actually left me alone, or if Iâm just losing my mind.Â
Occasionally, people enter the room. I think they talk to me, but I canât tell over the sound of my own crying and the shapes, silhouettes dancing around me. At some point, someone touches my forehead, as if to check my temperature. Groggily, I think, this isnât a fever, shitbag. Ever the eloquent one, me, especially when in excruciating pain.Â
Finally, it dulls, and I manage to move without wanting to pull out my eyeballs. Itâs nothing special, only a turn of my head, a flutter of my eyelids as I try to open my eyes.Â
Thereâs someone in the chair next to my cot. At first, I hallucinate- the shape slumped there goes from being my mum, to my sister, to my uncle, to my supervisor (which is the weirdest of them all, because heâs the only one Iâve talked to in the last decade). But finally, it shifts to something more solid, something real.Â
My heartbeat picks up significantly, which the monitor I seem to be hooked up to decides to broadcast. I sit up, and the pain courses through me again. The shape seems to look up, and I recognise blond hair, blue eyes, a bruise on the cheekbone as my vision clears.Â
âLeon,â I say. It comes out as more of a grunt, my tongue heavy and sandpapery in my mouth. I feel like Iâve downed fifteen shots of the strongest alcohol known to man and hit by a car. I try again. âLeon.â It comes out clearer this time.Â
He reaches out, grabs onto my hand and squeezes. I try to squeeze back but nothing happens except for another not enjoyable shot of pain.Â
âCareful,â he says, his hand moving up to my wrist. Heâs checking my pulse, I realised. Why? The machine is practically flatlining, with how fast my heart is beating.Â
Oh. Thatâs why heâs checking my pulse.Â
âLeon,â I say, and it finally comes out right. I grin, and am filled suddenly with a wave of happiness. My heart jumps into my chest and Iâm struggling to breathe as I gaze at him. I donât know what I must look like to him right now, but I do know that heâs the prettiest thing Iâve ever seen.Â
âIâm here,â he reassures me. His other hand comes up to gently touch my face, the pads of his fingers brushing over my cheekbones, my eyebrow, my nose. He stops before they reach my mouth (if I wasnât in this much pain, I would have grabbed his hand, pulled him back) but I think I see him hesitate.Â
Is it the pain meds that are making my stomach flutter, the tips of my fingers tingle?Â
I open my mouth and nothing comes out. What is there to say?Â
His eyes are so, so blue. I hadnât quite realised until now, now that heâs so close.Â
âYâpretty,â I slur out, and I grin. The pain in my limbs is slowly dulling, and I somehow push myself up on my elbows. Leon immediately puts a hand to the back of my neck, supporting me as I sit up. And his skin is warm, and I am feeling warm in all kinds of places, and I donât know if itâs the pain meds or my beating heart or the virus currently being wrestled out of my body, but before he can even breathe in to answer, I open my mouth again.Â
âSo pretty,â I say. My words are clearer, but my vision is dancing between blurred and clear. His brows are furrowed, and I lift my arm, ignore the pain to trace the lines of his face. They seem to shine gold and silver in the soft light of the hospital room.Â
He says my name, almost like a prayer falling from his lips. He breathes it out, taking my wrist and gently moving it away from his face. I feel a little drunk, but at least the pain is numbed slightly.Â
âYouâre-â
âNo.â I shush him, shaking my head. âIâm nothing.â My words are mixed up, coming out all jumbled and wrong. Thatâs him, making me feel that way, I try to convince myself.Â
He stands, clears his throat. Goes to the door; I think he calls the doctor, but Iâm too far away to hear, dancing in some strange minds cape again. Colours flow around me, like liquid sunlight. I reach out and try to catch some in my hand.Â
It takes what feels like a thousand years for the doctors to clear me to go home. I have to be helped into a wheelchair by nurses, and itâs Leon (sweet, beautiful, lovely Leon) who pushes me out, into someoneâs car (not his, I hope, because I smell terrible). Itâs Leon who drives me home, a quiet song on the radio, checking every few seconds to make sure I havenât passed out.Â
I am able to stand by the time we get to my place. I wonder briefly how he knows my address, then remember that time he came over, years ago. Did he find the text I sent him? Or does he have it memorised? I watch his face, entranced.Â
He opens the door, helps me out of the car. Keeps his arm around my waist, supporting what feels like my full weight. He pulls keys- my keys, I realise when I recognise the tacky keyring hanging off them- from his pocket, inserts them in the lock. I refuse to let him carry me up the stairs, although he insists and insists. His arm stays tight around me, muttering very quiet encouragements to me as we go. I almost collapse in relief when I see my front door, still painted atrociously yellow. I should change that, I think.Â
He gets me into my apartment, and I am finally able to stand without help (although I stumble a little, and my head spins every time I move). He offers to leave, but I gulp down whatever feeling is rising in my gut, let out a muttered âstay,â give him my best puppy eyes. He agrees without hesitation, asking me if I need anything.Â
ââM gonna- gonna run a bath,â I garble very attractively. He nods, sits on the couch that doubles as my bed (studio appartments, amirite?) and waits, so pretty.Â
I shut the bathroom door- donât lock it, though- and sit on the lip of the bath, watching the water running. My thoughts are beginning to clear, the pain now just a dull throb in the background rather than an overwhelming burning in my throat. I swallow it as I dip my fingers in the water, trying to blink the fog out of my eyes.
âYou okay in there?â Leon calls. I look up, and the painkiller fuelled what-the-fuck-ever takes control once more.Â
âYeah,â I say, my voice slightly strangled. The last thing I need right now is a distraction. I need a bath, normal clothes, I need his hands on me and his mouth on mine-Â
I check that the bath is full enough, and dunk my entire head under.Â
God, what is wrong with me? Iâve always had less than appropriate feelings about Leon, sure, but in a coworker/friends way, not in a dirty thoughts in the bathroom way.Â
Unfortunately, these thoughts remain when I come back up- my hair is just soaking wet now, and my eyes sting a little.Â
âFuckinâ stupid,â I mutter to myself. I donât reach for a towel; instead I sit on the lip of the bathtub, staring into the water, dripping onto my trousers. Yâknow, like a loser.Â
I start to take my shirt off, then stop. The simple movement makes my ribs feel like theyâre being torn out and used to stab me repeatedly; I stop and immediately lower my arms, groaning.Â
Fuck.Â
I get up, and manage to hobble to the door. Open it- luckily I donât have to fumble with the lock.Â
âLeon,â I say, and heâs on his feet in half a second, in front of me in the second half. I reach out and he grabs onto my waist, steadying me as I sway back and forth.Â
âI donât wanna bath,â I say, my words jumbling together. I reach up, cup his face in one hand. âWant- want you.âÂ
He hesitates, almost moving away from me. His throat bobs, his eyes narrow and widen; thereâs a tic in his jaw, which I smooth down with my thumb.Â
He says my name, and I shake my head.Â
âI feel fine,â I say, and thank god my words are clearer. âDo you?âÂ
Almost involuntarily, it seems, he pulls me a little closer. I touch my forehead to his, my pulse racing. I can feel his too, I realise when I shift my fingers. Itâs racing just as fast as mine.Â
âIâm sorry,â I say, âthis isnât- Iâm not. But youâre⌠IâŚâ I shake my head. I hope he understands what Iâm saying, because I certainly fuckinâ donât. âWant to kiss you.â He seems so nervous, bless him; maybe unsure of how willing I am to really kiss him, if itâs just the painkillers talking. I nudge forwards with my nose, and he kisses me.Â
As soon as his lips meet mine, my legs buckle. He catches me, supporting me fully without breaking the kiss. Fireworks erupt in my chest; if someone were to set me on fire, I would hardly notice- the feeling in my chest, in my throat, is enough to drown out any pain the painkillers might have neglected.Â
I stumble into him, and he holds on, his mouth not leaving mine for a millisecond. I thread my fingers through his hair, press the other to his neck, fumbling for his pulse. His heart is beating almost as fast as mine.Â
âLeon,â I mumble into the tiny space that opens between us when he pulls away for air. His eyes open and worry fills them.Â
âAre you-âÂ
ââM fine,â I quickly say. My speech is almost back to normal. âJust- wanted to say it.â He smiles, for the first time since I woke up, I think blearily, and kisses me again. My back hits the wall, and he pulls me away slightly, a hand at the small of my back. I grin against his mouth, teeth lightly bumping into his. We both laugh and I take the opportunity to kiss the corner of his mouth, his jaw, his neck, down to his collarbone. Heâs still holding me up, and I like it- like not having to support myself. Any thought of pain is gone for my mind as he tilts his head to the side, allowing me better access to his bare neck. God, weâre both such sluts. I lift my head again, and he kisses me, as hungry as I am, I realise. Itâs messy, and my hands are all over the place, but he is kissing me in a way that is making me vaguely lightheaded, and he has a hand at the back of my neck, and now heâs the one with his mouth on my throat, whispering what feels like prayers into my skin. Itâs no longer the pain thatâs making my legs weak. I sigh, then gasp when he presses a long kiss to the dip in my collarbone. He looks at me, and I thread a hand through his hair again. âShirt,â I say, not politely, despite my little smile. Heâs smiling too, and he kisses me as I work at the hem of his shirt, tugging it upwards so I can press my hands to his bare back, feel his hot skin. He shudders lightly, and I feel his mouth in the crook of my neck, whispering things to me that I wish I could hear. His own hands go under my shirt, resting on my bare waist. His thumb brushes an old scar, hovers there; I feel the question in the touch, and wrap my arms around his neck.Â
âGun,â I murmur into his neck. âFive years ago. Fucked up an op.â He doesnât respond, but he finds every scar on my back and stomach, and I tell him about every single one, pressing soft kisses to his neck as he searches my skin. The way he makes me feel- the attention he gives me, the gently touch of his fingers, as if Iâm something holy- it should be illegal. He kisses me when he finds the last scar, and I kiss him back, and fuck, howâs he got my shirt off? The garment is discarded onto the floor. And I keep kissing him, and he keeps kissing me. I manage to tug off his shirt as well, and of course I know where this is going, and god, I am not going to fight it.Â
His hand goes back to my hips, and he pulls away, examines me. Just- just looks at my face, traces the lines of it with his blue blue eyes. I tilt my head at him, and he canât seem to resist pressing an open mouthed kiss above my pulse, whispering something that sounds like beautiful into my skin. I lean into him, letting out a soft sigh; once again, he moves down, to my collarbone, to the now exposed skin of my shoulders. He takes my hand, kisses my wrist. I feel like Iâm being worshipped (although, if I were a god, I wouldnât want people making out with my statue).Â
âFuck,â I murmur, tightening my grip on the back of his neck. Heâs so gentle, and yet⌠I tip my head back.Â
This better be a long night.Â
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy resident evil#resident evil 2#resident evil 4#resident evil 6#resident evil x reader#re4r leon kennedy#leon x reader re#re2r leon kennedy#re6 leon kennedy#death island#do what u will with this#it is nearly 3am#goodnight#bloodhoundsandplagues writes#smutty ish if u SQUINT#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy#leon scott kennedy#leon s kennedy x reader
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I wanted to write about how far Zam has come with his character for like a week now and now heâs acknowledged it himself so I finally grabbed all the quotes.
Letâs go down memory lane shall we?Â
DAY 1Â
24:00 âThereâs a ghost that haunts my dreams [...] I see him in my sleep. He tells me to kill people. But I donât want to kill anyoneâ
âI have to hold it in.. [...] I wish I had like horror sound effects to play and images of every lifesteal member dead and I could flash them across the screenâ does that.Â
ZAM: â*lights armadillo on fire* âgive it a slow, painful deathâ PENTAR: âfor someone against the whole idea of killing, you seem to have a gruesome way around killing things.â ZAM âIâm still meâ [armadillo dies.] âI can only resist the urges so much [evil giggle]â
10:07:00 after Pentar kills him âItâs not about being above anyone by not killing people, I would just prefer not to. Because last season I feel like I was.. Something else. And I donât want to do that again. I donât want to be that again. You know?â
âBecause itâs not supposed to be some morality, âIâm better than youâ kind of thing, you know? I donât want to be on some like high horse. Itâs more of like, I just donât wanna let the demon out, you know, that type of thingâ
Reflecting on the first two days, I wrote this about Zam: This season looks like an internal battle of his personal desire to complete a minecraft challenge⢠(no kills) vs his desire to do lore and change his character multiple times. And I just donât think the challenge wins long term. A challenge isnât what makes him love lifesteal, itâs the lore.Â
Day 4 7/9/24
1:01:05 ââzam has no enemiesâ no, itâs not that I have no enemies, itâs just that if I kill people, Iâm going to become like a monster. Like way worse than anyone else on the server. You know? And I like donât want that reputation if Iâm like just peacefully building. [...] âoh broâs scared to hurt others then?â yup! [...] âbad things will happenâŚ. (meep)â yea last time I hurt someone, last time i tried to hurt someone, bad things happened. And i just⌠canât do that again, you know?â
1:21:40 killing bogged in trial chamber. âIt feels nice cutting things down, I donât think Iâve been doing enough of this. [...] Iâm going to kill all of you, Iâm going to kill every single one of you. [...] is it weird to say that Iâve missed this? Even though âthisâ is just cutting down a bunch of skeletons, just jumping up and down and left clicking [...] [evil giggles (and not to anything in chat)] [...] my sword might say âim so sorryâ but Iâm not sorry, Iâm not even a little sorry right nowâÂ
2:19:05 ââalso Zam is emoâ (chips) âno iâm not! Iâm so happy! Iâm the happiest i've been in a long time. Thatâs why I have my nipple out. Thatâs not true why did i say thatâÂ
4:04:50 Wemmbu killed Spoke. ZAM: â[opens statistics] it still says zero. It still says zero. It still says zero it still says zero. So Iâm fine. Iâm fine. Cause it still says zero.. [walks around base] Iâm fine. Itâs perfectly fine. â0 plants pottedâ (arch) okay actually thatâs what I got the clay for so.. Thank you for saying that actually, very convenient timing. [goes to shed to smelt] [blows out breath] Iâm just gonna chop down trees. Iâm just gonna chop down trees and Iâm just gonna leave this group and Iâm gonna chop down trees and Iâm gonna have a fun time and nothing badâs gonna happen. And everythingâs gonna be a-okay [hannah logged on] I thought Mapicc logged on I cannot lie. Okay maybe Iâm scared. [Mapicc logs on] [gasp, crouches] motherfucker. Motherfucker [under breath]â
Dies to Mapicc three times.Â
5:26:00 is thinking about how heâs doing a character nobody else on lifesteal has done before. Puts on a lore song. ââIf thereâs one thing youâve been consistent in the last two seasons, itâs been steady in your morals until the endâ (chips) yea. But hereâs the thing though [giggle] does it matter? Or like, whatâs it called. Am I restricting myself? Do you guys think? Most definitely, right. And itâs like. I dunno, a big part of me feels like it would be nice to like, let go, and just like, join in on all the violence, and everything, and all that stuff. You know? Like it would be nice. It would be nice, I think. Maybe. Maybe not, I don't know⌠[evil giggle] ahhh. [long pause, arch in chat said âonce you do it you canât go back thoughâ he doesnât read it out] [lore music cuts out] [very seriously] no thatâs stupid. No. Iâm not gonna. Iâm not gonna. [blows breath] Iâm not gonna let myself go as far as I did last season. Iâm not gonna let myself do anything like that again [tehe giggle] [huffs out breath]â
5:28:18 ââit was fun thoâ (chips) it was, but it was fun at the expense of others. It was fun⌠but it was damaging to the server.. It was. I dunno. I donât think itâs who I want to be. I donât think I was born to beâŚThat. you know? I donât know. I feel like thatâs not who I am. I feel like that was never who I was.âÂ
7/13/24 end fight dayÂ
~2:38:00 ZAM: ââits not ok to kill people but it's ok to ask people really nicely to kill people you don't likeâ Iâm allowed to persuade peopleâs opinions, I think, and I can only do that when Iâm really really mad. [...] But i dunno. [sigh] Iâve messaged both opposing teams so i dunno, I donât care enough though. Whatever. This is beyond me."
âJoker zam went back into his closetâ (meep) thatâs true. I was possessed for a second there. [messages MC chat saying that] âmy evil self wishes for me to kill everyone. I wonât tho.'Â
7/14/24 day he kills planet
Hour and half of Pangi messing with him while he gets more and more frustrated at the shulker farm.Â
1:28:50 Zam flies after Pangi and crits him out, but he stops. âI canât crit him out like that, Iâm gonna get my first player kill and itâs gonna ruin all my loreâÂ
1:40:00 pangi is still singing, Zam bows him, then tries fishing rodding him. He comes up the farm PANGI: âhey PrinceZam, do you need therapy?â ZAM: âshut up you always got some noise to make, shut up. [...] I bet youâre my first kill this seasonâ PANGI: âBAHAHAAâ ZAM: âjust kidding I wonât kill anyone. Just kidding. Just kidding just kidding. That was a joke. That was a joke. I wonât kill anyone. [blows out breath]â PANGI: âokay PrinceZam.âÂ
1:47:00 ZAM: âwhat the fuck just happened to me. Dude, I need to stop. He keeps, he keeps trying to get me to get my first kill, bro. Heâs trying to get me to get my first kill. I canât. I canât do it. I canât do it. Itâs getting harder and harder, with each and every day, to hold back [sigh] oooh kay. âWhy arenât you killing anybodyâ because as soon as I kill one person, I go down a dark dark path. And you donât want to see that dark dark path. âWE DOâ I donât. K fine, maybe you do. I donât. A great darkness lurks within me. A great darkness lurks within me. Itâs consumed me, ever since, ever since I was young. âYour dark side is banging on the door, let the poor guy inâ no. noo. Iâm gonna build a closet in my house. âPLEASE DO ITâ where could I even, oh I know where I could actually build a closet right now, letâs do that right now actually hold on. Unironically lets do that right nowâÂ
6:24:44 zam goes to bacon in his base, âWhenever I sleep, he comes to me. So i try not to sleep in that bed anymoreâ BACON: â[baffled] how did that even start. Like how did you even, what, how did this even become a thing in your headâ ZAM: â[ignoring] thereâs a demon in my closet, any time, any time I die he comes closer to possessing me.â BACON: âokay what is the demon trying to get you to do.â ZAM: âkill everyoneâ BACON: âoooohhh. Oh I like that. Okay okayâ `Â
Then thereâs the fated Bacon streamÂ
2:39:00 bacon and planet meme around about the build battle rules and Zam snaps, âif you want to be a bitch about it you donât have to fucking play, goddamm. Dumbass fucking planetlord and baconnwaffles. I hate both of you. Fuck you guys. Iâm going back into the house⌠iâm going into my closetâÂ
They clean up spawn a bit, he comes back out swinging at them. Then goes on top of the lighthouse and starts shooting them from a distance.Â
Planet takes off all his armor and pops like a grape.
Then on Spepâs stream he stalks Spep around to the End islands, generally just looks really threatening. Says he wonât remember this when he wakes up, but Spep will.Â
7/15/24Â
~14:00 ZAM: â[strained] dude, pangi I killed planetâ PANGI: â[strained too]I know. Hey, it wasnât your faultâ ZAM: âi shouldnât have even had a bowâÂ
He builds the tree and writes his first oathÂ
In the first draft he wrote âI cannot do anything that goes against the interest of the entire serverâ
he changed âentire serverâ to âmajority of playersâ to âmost playersâÂ
And changed âattack any playerâ because chat went crazy about him not being able to punch anyone, to âkill any other playersâÂ
7/18/24Â
Flame and mapicc start fighting
22:40 ZAM: âdude I did give mapicc a heads up there, I canât lie. [realizing] Iâve been playing all sides, I canât lie. This is interesting. Iâm just chummy with everyone, I dunno, i don't do it intentionally. I do it a little intentionally, i canât lie, but not like, intentionallyâ
33:20 ZAM: âI really donât like the idea of playing both sides, but like, like- Iâm trying my hardest not to, [...] Like if you shove 100 dollars in my face like Iâm probably gonna take it right? Like like [giggling], itâs just like, ugh, itâs so stupid [laughing] i donât like this. I don't know, Iâm opportunist I guess. Iâm just an opportunist I guess because I'm pacifist and I don't wanna die." So. But like also I really just donât like the idea of being someone who plays both sides, itâs so awkwardâ while watching the fight from a distance. "
7/20/24Â
From 2:43:00 to 3:15:00 hops between group chats and instinctively gets information and relays it to everyone else. Actually just leaks every word he hears lol.Â
4:51:10 âimagine flame goes on a killing spree just so he can pay you to make more builds lolâ (citrus) dude. Is the blood on my hands then? Thatâs something I was wondering, what if this becomes bad. To where theyâre like murdering people just for the sake of like, whats it called, paying me. âYes you're evil thenâ (sin) aw shit. Itâs my fault. I mean I guess it depends on how bad it gets. I felt really bad when they killed jepex for me. I canât lie, in the moment I thought it was really funny but looking back, itâs literally the same as like. Like I think me asking them to kill someone is the same as me killing them myself, it lowkey does not matter. So Iâm lowkey like having another moral dilemma right there, on that one. â
âIâm gonna stop asking people to fucking kill people for me thatâs stupid, i donât want to do that anymoreâ
This is so interesting, because day 1 he just wanted the statistic, and it was okay for him to do traps or gaslight people and all that. Then it was no traps, no violence. Then it was itâs okay to influence the opinions of people who already want to kill the people I want dead. Now itâs like, even that is not okay.
7/21/24 building Flameâs volcano in one day
45:00 [unprompted] âdo you know something I was thinking of, which like, i just feel like it would be so easy to turn like, any tree, at spawn, into a trap. It would be so easy right? [...] Iâm not gonna do it! Just like a fun idea. [..] [starts making the trap] but then it would make it real. I shouldnât do this actually. I- i shouldnât do this. This isnât a good idea. Nevermind. Nevermind. [rubs face] Ooh my god, back to building back to building. Iâm building Iâm just building. [puffs out breath] Iâm just building. Iâm building a castle. Iâm not why would I - why would i even make a [giggles] why did I even do that in the first place.âÂ
2:43:00 breaking the bedrock of the end fountain to make a concrete duper âi feel really good at this. Like too good at this. Itâs just holding down q, itâs not that special. But fuck. âItâs in your bloodâ I don't want to be the guy that left behind, that broke all that bedrock, you know? I donât want that to be my legacy, I don't want that to be my reputation. I donât want that to be what I leave behind. Aw geeze. [breaks last bedrock] oh my god. [frustrated] That was effortlessâ
7:31:30 ââitâs ok you can blame all your blunders on the demonâ (seri) [lore] what if there was no demon. [not lore] new headcanon. Just me trying to justify my acts. [soft giggle] waittt.. [pause] thank goodness the demon is real, so. the demon is real. Only i can see himâÂ
8:23:00 crashout over not being âableâ to defend himself. ââits okay zam we saw how you are at the end of every single seasonâ (citrus) yea, you guys have. The deep darkness thatâs within me, [giggle] ugh. âTheyâll see⌠one dayâ (mer) I donât want them to see, no, thatâs the thing, i donât want them to see. [..] Itâs just like, like I Could fight, itâs just such a hassle, to like, get into it, and then not, you know. Cause like, okay, okay, here here, letâs envision it, lets say I do want to fight people, right? theoretically, but, I donât want to let out the evil evil darkness thatâs within me, right? How the hell am I gonna do that when Iâm constantly taking fights, constantly losing, constantly getting overly attached, overly invested in conflict, like how am i gonna, how am I gonna contain the demon within, if I, whatâs it called, if I, if Iâm constantly getting myself into fights? You know? âGetting goodâ (chips) no but like Iâm being dead serious, like cause, whatâs it called, eventually theyâre gonna hit me in a way that is gonna make me want to go full force, thereâs no point in trying to fight if Iâm not gonna go 100% all in, you know? So. I dunno. Maybe if I get better at my self control and disciplineâÂ
So thereâs two things. One, âitâs a hassleâ is classic burnout. And you just have to wait for burnout to leave. And two, he is very self aware that someone will do something that will make him get invested. But he wonât flip that switch until that happens because there is no point. Which is very valid and wise.Â
Itâs such an interesting conversation, because itâs the first time he hasnât made breaking his oath into a silly lore moment. Itâs really settling into being a real part of him. Heâs being honest about what fighting would actually do.
10:36:00 talks to jumper about his pacifism and their parallels. He tells her about how he knows heâll get too invested and he wont want to hold back. As opposed to being unable.Â
7/24/24Â
53:10 Zam goes to the trial chambers again âdude wait these slimes have strength, are they gonna kill me? Dude I wanted to feel something but now Iâm just not feeling anything actually. I was, I was, I was expecting more of a challengeâ
7/25/24 day 1 peace trials
16:30 âdo you think SB737 is going to kill me if he finds me? His layerâs off, I think he ran away from spawn after that one. I could see him trying though. Iâve lowkey, dude, lowkey i've been wishing someone would kill me, unfortunately I did starve to death, so now I donât wish someone would kill me anymore. But like, itâs just been sooo peaceful, building these past few days you know? Like i havenât ran into any kind of metal peril in soooo long like thatâs crazy you know. Itâs been a hot minute.â
First time he talks about wanting to be chased.Â
37:00 annoyed about SB butting him in D teir for how easy he would be killed. ââzam is the most aggressive pacifistâ yea! Cause I mean how else am I supposed to let my anger out other than with my words. I still have emotions. They're still thereâÂ
7/29/24Â
1:07:24 still ignoring Bacon âIf Iâm gonna be a pacifist and not kill people, I should be able to hold a grudge somehowâ âmy only fighting methodâÂ
Plotting the shift in zamâs mindset is like making a color spectrum and itâs just ever so slightly gradient-ed and before you know it itâs just all red.
8/17/24Â
58:00 MANE: âbut think about how many hearts Iâve given you before Zamâ ASH: âWAIT. ZAm is accepting hearts from people That Kill? Thatâs not very peaceful of you zam. That goes against your oath. Youâre just accepting heart that has, that puts blood on your hands. Iâm not even joking about thisâ ZAM: âI-, I donât. I donât think it does.â ASH: âYouâre benefiting from the spoils of the death that you claim to be so againstâ Zam jumps away from the conversation at the same time. nervously?Â
ZAM: â[calmly] if kills have already happened what am I supposed to do to stop it. I only care about myself not killing peopleâ [parkouring over to the roof of the house] ASH: âYou literallyâ ZAM: ânot other people. The server can do whatever the fuck it wants. I donât careâ PANGIâ aaahhhhhâ ASH: âThatâs the most. Thatâs the most selfish viewâÂ
ZAM: âI learned from you! The best side to play is all sides, right? Thatâs what you said [...] hypocrytical as fuckâ ASH: âI mean, Iâm not claiming to be any good person, Iâm just saying your whole oath and code of honor isâ ZAM: âIâm not either. Iâm trying to be a good person but, heyâ PANGI: âYouâre doing a really bad job I can tell you that, Zamâ ZAM: âyea. [swings around to look at pangi] coming from you is crazyâÂ
1:03:00 ââyouâve only done build commissions for incredibly violent people huhâ (arch) that is something to consider huh, am I [sharp breath in] let me put on the lore music hold on. Am I. and I, I donât think Iâm the worst person to- okay. No. you know what? It doesnât matter. Because there are worse people on this server. So Iâm not that bad by comparison [...] You know Iâm doing better than I did last season [...] So Iâm okay. Iâm happy with my choices I feel like. I dunno. I mean like gaining, gaining hearts is not the worst thing in the world, itâs kind of like the point of the server is it not? I dunno. Hmmm âi mean violent people are the ones who have the heartsâ (citrus) exactly! Yea, my only, the only people I CAN do business with is the violent peopleâ
âBut by taking hearts from them am I not encouraging them to kill more? Yea, thatâs something to consider as well, you know? Cause, but itâs like. Ugggghhh let me read through the oath again. âAre they killing other violent people or innocentsâ (arch) thatâs true! I mean. They kill innocents when they feel like killing innocents it depends on the person iâm dealing with. [...]Â I canât control what other people do. Itâs not selfish [heavy emphasis. Meaning ashsawgâs comment] itâs just like, me controlling what I can control. You can only control, you should only worry about what you can control, and what I can control is limiting myself.â
âI mean shit. What do I even want these hearts forâÂ
ââyou got one killâ âyou killed planetâ okay okay okay you killed planet okay. I hate how many people are talking about that. [..] âYOU CANNOT DENY IT ZAMâ yes I fucking can! Yes I fucking can! Because I shot at him as a fucking like bit, because was obviously never to kill him, and he took off all his fucking armor. Iâve been over it! I have been over it like a million times itâs insane! I gave back the heart too like what. [opens statistics] Like it doesnât even count. [closes statistics] It does not count. âYouâre still killingâ [mocking] you're still killing. Okay actual like bot opinion. Bot take. Actual bot take is what this is. Insane. Like actually insane. The fact that people are still on this is craaaazy like actually crazy. âPANGI HASNâTâ oohhhh thatâs what this is about. Thatâs what this is about. Thatâs what this is about, itâs about pangi, and and pangi being better than me okay.âÂ
âThatâs what this is about. It means nothing to me. Means nothing to me. I donât care. PANGI LITERALLY- okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. [giggle laugh] pangi is a pacifist because he wants to be. But thatâs like. Dude, woogie 1 for 1 took my thing. Dude, itâs crazy how many people are pacifist why did everyone like take my thing I mean like the whole point is proof of concept is prove that itâs possible, right, but like heh heh. Itâs also lame that other people are taking my thing. [more deranged leaning giggles] âeverybody wants to be princezam.â (mer) oh my god. â
8/19/24Â
~1:11:00 found Mapicc in his base. MAPICC: âand i just like, when are you gonna kill peopleâ ZAM: âpppffff [mocking/flabberghasted] âwhen are you going to kill people?â [reduced to laughter] MAPCIC: âmmhmmâ ZAM: âIâm not!â MAPICC: âsee that's so weird.â [...] ZAM: âyou start critting me out I donât fight backâ MAPICC: âactually?â ZAM: âno like genuinely, yeaâ MPAICC: âwait. Okay [pots up and takes all armor off but helmet and boots]âÂ
1:34:00 âa little terrifying i canât lie. itâs weird. I feel like after an encounter like that Iâd have a teammate to go talk to about this. But there really isn't anyone like that this time aroundâ
8/22/24Â
3:30 about the mapicc infestation âIt was a very interesting fight. Honestly one of my favorite fights of the seasonâÂ
19:40 âohh âkaboodle the pacifistâ (evi4) Wait kaboodle the pacifist? Are we fucking serious. Yo. okay. Okay. iâm not even going to say nothing bro. Iâm not even going to say nothing. Iâm. Iâm not even going to say nothing. Iâm not even going to say nothing. Iâm not. Iâm not even [starting to laugh] going to say nothing, bro [deep breath in and out] how come the one season. Like the one season, that i do it and itâs like interesting, everyone else decides to do it. In season 4 no one copied subz. Everyone made fun of him. But now, but now i do it and everyone wants to fucking be me okay. Okay. no okay. No okay. No like. Bro. [so sad] [...] âEveryone is just scared of the big pvp-ersâ (arch) thatâs true. Itâs not even. Itâs not even like me. Oh my god. Itâs not even because iâm cool. No itâs not even because of me, itâs just they donât want to get killedâ
27:00 kab asks if she can talk to zam and get advice âoh bet. Oh i love giving advice to my fellow pacifists. My favorite thing to do everâ /sarcastic
31:40 Woogie drops in âZam is amazing at making people peacefulâ
34:00 âif your goal is pacifism, then yea, heâs passing, but if your goal is to not get murdered by people then you probably shouldnât be destroying other peopleâs builds, you know. Thatâs how you start warsâ about pangiâs pacifism.Â
Which is ALSO interesting. Because zam cares about not starting wars because he doesn't want to get emotionally pulled into a fight.
ZAM: âits like iâm in a skit. And like, as soon as i start questioning one character, and another character comes out and is like âooh iâm also a remake of you!â what the fuck is happeningâÂ
âYou know whatâs keeping me going is that iâll probably outlast themâÂ
42:40 âis this a bad thing? Am i bad for not wanting them to be a, [laugh] to be peaceful like me? Is that a bad thing? I mean like, i feel like, uhg. But itâs like, they- [sharp breath in] what is- what have THEY gone through? To want this changeâÂ
âLike kaboodle is doing it to save her skin. Woogie is doing it to save his skin, like. Itâs very different i feel like. Itâs just very different. I [whispers] oh my god. [spins around] what did. What do they know! What do they know. Oh my god. Fuck damn. I think thatâs why iâm upset. Itâs not that like, [long pause] bruh.âÂ
âHow can i rise about the rest. That's what i want to do now. Thatâs what I wanna do now. I want to rise above the rest. Thatâs what iâm thinking about right now, iâll be honest. How do I [sharp breath in] [blows air out] like. This is-. [grumble] this is stupid. This is dumb. I shouldn't even think about this. You know what this is dumb."
48:00 âitâs not like a fun thing to do. Like. I- being a pacifist has been like, itâs itâs had its moments i guess. I dunno though. Definitely, iâll admit it, not the most.. fun. But uh. Thats. thatâs besides the point. Thatâs okay. Thatâs.. thatâs fine [deep breath in and out]âÂ
ââbeing a pacifist isn't for everyone, you have to truly believe in the rules and know your own limits so you can be pacifistâ (hexlarry) but like thatâs the thing, do i even like, fully believe in it? Cause now iâm starting to question myself. I mean I did it not so that i could save my own skin. I did it so that i could, i dunno, just avoid repeating prior mistakes. And things like that. Sooo. because getting myself into fights would probably lead me down a very very dark path and i don't want to [sharp breath] i don't wanna do all that so by avoiding conflict at all costs I, I can, whatâs it called, hmmm [spins around] fuck [princezam distress noises] [...] âhas something changedâ i dunno. Iâd hope notâ
ââit feels like theyâre mocking you a littleâ (evu) a little bit! I guess so. Thatâs kind of true as well honestly. I dunno. Hmmm, itâs very. Very interesting. Very interesting turn of events. I dunno. Itâs not that i feel like itâs my thing. I feel like everyone should be allowed to do it, it just feels like the way that theyâre doing it kind of is like, i guess it is, i dunno. Itâs a little bit like.. Hmm yea âitâs an easy way out to themâ (arch) to them, to them it doesn't have any of the same significance it does to me. They're doing it because they want to live longer, they want to hold onto their hearts longer, iâm doing it because I like- i essentially need to- ugh. I dunno. Iâm doing it- hrmmm. No, iâm doing it because⌠Because i want to. Because I want to. I want to. Itâs my decision. I want to do it. I dunno [jumps around thinking for a while]âÂ
The last part is said in the same tone he used during the Abyss arc when his team wasn't logging on to help him.
âItâs not about what other people have done though. Itâs about me upholding an oath i guess. Me.. avoiding [giggle] repeating mistakes and stuff. Umm. i dunno âitâs a conflict with myselfâ (mer) exactly. Itâs entirely. Entirely within me. And that was a situation that, admittedly, I had control over. I could have just not shot my bow at him. Itâs a lesson learned i guess. But. I dunno. I- I just hate it. I hate it so much because that was not meant to happen at all. Like. itâs ridiculous. Its just ridiculous i feel like. I dunno. âBro is still talking about thisâ yea because I care about it.â
8/23/24
5:38:00 WEMMBU: âyouâre profiting off the economy of people being murderedâ ZAM: âI donât know if thatâs true at all even. Thatâs just. [trying to talk while wemmbu is talking over him] Anyone who lives on this server is profiting off the economy bro. I don't know what youâre talking about. [...] That thatâs like breathing air on this server is benefitting form the economy broâ WEMMBU: âand youâre the one thatâs saying youâre and innocent soul bruhâ ZAM: âiâm, somewhat innocent. Iâm innocent to the point where I wonât lure someone to spawn so you guys can kill them. That's how innocent I amâ WEMMBU: âwah wahh wahâÂ
And he leaves the group
ZAM: âGet me the fuck out of here. I simply participate in society. All i do is live and breathe air and try to live an honest to god living.â
~5:51:00 ââOh so you agree youâd be responsible in that scenarioâ (arch) yea! If heâs going out of his way to kill people For That [the build he wanted to commission], like to pay For That, I feel like yea, I feel like then Iâm definitely responsible. [...] But mane, flame, mapicc, they already have the hearts, I know they withdrew them from their hotbar, they did in front of me, it did the sound. So, yea. And flame just had a heart bank that he went and grabbed. So. yea no, those hearts were already acquired. They were, like, those kills happened, itâs over. Itâs good.âÂ
8/24/24
2:13:00 âthat was interesting. What a day. I almost hopped into a fight. Probably wont do it again, that was a one time offer. But. i dunno. I was willing to die for a cause. I wasnât going to hit him.âÂ
âMaybe i faltered. Did I falter? By willing to fight? I wouldnât hit him. I donât think. Maybe Iâd hit him. I donât- [scoff] would it be fine as long as i don't kill him?â âitâs my rulesâÂ
âYea mapicc did get really excited when i mentioned pvp. That was really interesting. That was cool. I do have no critting yea. Hmmm. i dunno. I did just want to support my friend flame âyou're just helping out a friend i think thats in the servers best interestsâ (arch) thatâs true. Yea. if i, i dunno, cause like the main goal is to just work in the serverâs best interests. And i guess in that situation that, specific, little situation, fighting flame was actually in everyone, everyone whoâs onlineâs best interests. Ironically. So yea. Despite it normally being the wrong answer, violence was kind of the answer to fixing that problem there. âÂ
2:18:00 âIâm worried though. Like I feel like the lack of violence encourages me to like, i dunnoâÂ
âI think people should be more violent, i think thatâs fair, thatâs what this server is about. I haven't changed my stance on that, the server is about killing people. Itâs not about [giggle] the atrocities Iâve committed, thatâs for sureâÂ
ââThatâs not very pacifist I meanâ like thatâs whatever, itâs princezam then. It doesnât matter. Pacifist is just the moniker I chose, but if itâs not fitting itâs not fitting. Iâm doing whatever I believeâÂ
ââthe blowing up builds and killing weaklings was your more problem. not your violence inherentlyâ (arch) exactly. And unfortunately I feel like with any sort of violence [tsht] unfortunately all paths lead to that road. You know? Everything will just eventually get me there. I think itâs better to swear it off, you know. Itâs just, Itâs just for the betterâ
Flame blows up spawn.
2:52:00 âAnd my heart count too. I was trying to get to 20 but like - what does that even do, what is that even good for, if i can't do anythin- if iâm powerless to stuff like this, if iâm powerless to this. This. Like whatâs the point, even like whatâs-... I feel like everything Iâve done is just like actually completely futile now. Like, none of it matters. NONE of it matters, not even a little, if other people are just going to take up the mantle. What like, whatâs the POINT?... I don't get it. I mean holding out, not giving in, despite all of this, would prove me as a way stronger player than him, but WHAT GOOD DOES THAT ACCOMPLISH. SO WHAT?! Like, heâs just going to do this again, like why does it matter? Why does it even matter? What the- what does moral highground get me? What does moral high ground even get me. Why did i think this was even a good idea even a little bit, [so loud] OH MY GOD. [pause] âIt doesn't even mean anything to anyone but meâ (arch) exactly. This. oh my god. Itâs not just to myself though (arch) itâs ahhh Fuck. Itâs supposed to make up for everything I did- For just everything I did in general really. Thatâs what itâs supposed to be, but, like ah, does anyone care really? Does anyone care? Other than me? At this point I don't think so. Thereâs bigger problems. âSpawn looked the best this seasonâ it did. It really did. It really really did. It really did. [tabs out for a long time, just silent] i can'tâ believe this. I canât believe this. [sigh] oh my god. [leaning head back] Dude. and like. Oh my god. Yea no one is going to do anything thatâs true. The fact of the matter is [laughing as talking] no one is going to do anything about this. Because no one cares. And thatâs what heâs going to realize. [...] Thatâs all fine to me, it doesn't matter. It doesnât matter. This is definitely the furthest Iâve wavered, on this path of mine. Dear god. [blows out breath] and i was the only one here to do anything about it oh my god [silence] âthey did call me ground zeroâ [puts head in hands while reading it] is it my fault? Is it my- wait youâre right. [breathing heavily] it kind of in a, in a weird, fucked up twisted way, it kind of is my fault. Because my stupid pacifism stuff it it spiraled out of control and got to woogie, got to pangi, itâs itâs like [grrr grumble] (all of chat is screaming that it isn't his fault.) I, oh my god. Oh my god. Dude like. I actually feel so dumb. I feel like Iâve wasted the past month or two. Iâve actually just feel like Iâve been wasting my time. Like, like none of that matters. Actually none of that matters, I feel like, anymore. And like, because I did all that, everyone else copied me. Everyone copied me, they were right! No, they were right. Thatâs the messed up part of this, is that theyâre Right. And that they probably will get a fight out of this, thatâs the Fucked up part of thisâÂ
3:04:00 âIf I fight them I give them exactly what they want. Itâs so fucked up. Thereâs no, there's no winning option here. Thereâs nothing I can do to winâÂ
Realizes he can just rebuild. Rejuvenated in one second flat.Â
âDo I just keep rebuilding it over and over? [...]Â But I donât care! Iâm not giving up. I don't care, I don't care!â âthis is literally what I do. What am I tripping for? This is literally what I doâ
3:35:30 âI feel like most people would not have the mental fortitude to experience what I just experienced and then Not Fight. Like that is an absurd thing to do. But itâs a me thing to do. SoâÂ
3:37:00 âi know i don't have all of my screws together, but i definitely, i think i could win a battle of mental fortitude if I wantedâ
Talks to everyone and forms Gaiaâs Hand
5:46:00 wrapping up stream along âdude I know like, iâm real confident and real happy and shit, but I , I am terrified. I am terrified [stares into a big cave thinking] i dunno. I'm not gonna second guess myself but. Itâs just- itâs a scary battle. Itâs a very scary battle. I dunnoâ
âMean, Iâm not alone. That's true. That definitely helps [...] I feel like the last time I spent a lot of time repairing spawn it didn't end too well. Lowkey thatâs when everything went horribly wrong, actually. i feel like itâs just been downhill since there.â
âI am doing this to spite flame, but at the same time the thing I care about the most is just having the server where spawn can't just get destroyed. I dunno. Thatâs what I care about the mostâ
5:53:40 ââyou and your attachments to spawnâ (seri) [wistful] itâs, itâs the heart of the server. Itâs the heart of the server. And, i dunno, I canât, i canât help myself but protect it. In every way that I can. I dunno. Itâs just in my nature. Which is ironic, considering the atrocities Iâve committed.âÂ
8/29/24
44:30 âsupport the people trying to ban them and the builds wonât get destroyed anymoreâ (chips) thatâs true. But do the ends justify the means? Like sure I will get spawn builds being safe, but Iâm, I also am taking some part in someone getting banned off the server. which, i dunno. I feel like i don't want to be a part ofâÂ
45:00 âIs it for the greater good, or it for my greater good. It has to be objective, it canât be a skewed biased point of viewâÂ
1:05:20 âi can only control myself, and only the small few who have joined meâ âkaboodle and woogieâ âIronically theyâre truly the only ones who are part of gaiaâs handâ
Week long break for MMCR
9/9/24
11:40 ZAM: âIâve kind of realigned my look on the server [...] Everyoneâs goal goes back to, like, killing. So I feel like if I help anyone Iâm like sort of contributing to the violence on the server, which is something I- which I canât prevent obviously but itâs not also something Iâd like to contribute to. The whole point is I don't want to contribute to violence and you know, kill people I guess. I dunnoâÂ
How far princezam has come. It was never about actual pacifism⌠except now it is. He truly is a pacifist now. He used to be a bad pacifist and now heâs just a pacifist for real. How interesting.Â
19:00 âThatâs just the spite and hatred in my heart. Iâm full of hatred recently, thatâs something iâve noticed as well. Definitely something iâve noticedâÂ
44:00 âI feel like nothing accomplishes anything. I feel like anything I would do would just make things worse. I dunno. Maybe thatâs just me though. Maybe that's just me and the way I feel. I dunnoâÂ
âI just want to win. You know? But how do I go about that even? Thereâs nothing to win against."
~1:27:00 âAn eye for an eye makes the whole world blindâ âinteresting phrase considering the circumstance Iâm in. [...] yea i mean violence is good to those who love it. Iâm just unfortunately not one of those people. At least at the moment. [pause] Well I wouldn't say at the moment actually. I would say Iâm not one of those people. For sure. Used to be. Not anymore.âÂ
1:53:00Â âwhen i think of goals, the first thing that comes to mind is like, laying in a field of flowers. Thatâs what I want to do. Thatâs what I want to do. I dunnoâ
9/11/24
~40:00 âit makes me question what my path is, cause iâm not, iâm not iâm not iâm not iâm not a killer or anything at least i don't want to kill anyone, i don't want to be doing that. Soo where does that leave me? What am I gonna do, what am I princezam gonna do.âÂ
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Bucktommy + The Last of Us
When the end of the world comes, Tommy Kinard slips away from the soldiers attempting to round everyone up and take them to the QZ, and he returns home to build up his defenses. A ex-soldier, Tommy is well-equipped to defend himself and his homestead from the infected roaming the world now. He isolated, and he survived, trading only when he needed to, communicating with outsiders as a last resort. He's doing just fine. One day, one of his alarms goes off, and something has been caught in his trap. He grabs his gun, and heads off to the edge of his property. He's expecting one of the infected, and what he finds.... is Evan Buckley.
"Iâm not infected!" "Are you armed?" "No." "Why did you take that long to answer?" "I donât know. I- I thought about lying for some reason, but a - a reason didnât come. Look, I-Iâm just trying to get to Boston. That's where my sister is.." "Alone?" "We started with 10. But yeah, Iâm-Iâm alone." "From where?" "Philadelphia QZ. Itâs gone." "Are ya hurt?" "Thereâs just, just a bruise."
He's just supposed to stay the night. That's what Tommy tells himself. Evan had just looked so sad and hungry after he got out of the pit, his blue eyes so wide they caught the afternoon sun. He lets Evan use his shower, and he makes him dinner, rabbit that he pairs with a nice wine. Evan can't help touching his stuff in fascination, and Tommy feels on edge. Evan touches his piano and plays a song that aches in Tommy's chest, he has to at least try to shut that down. It's just, the look on his face when Tommy does so, it hurts. So, Tommy sits at the bench, and he plays the song, and sings along to the tune.
"So, whoâs the girl? Girl youâre singing about?" "There is no girl." "I know. Whatâs your name?" "Tommy." "Go take a shower, Tommy." "Okay."
Before the end of the world, he'd considered that he was into men, but between his years in the army and then under a rigid fire captain, he hadn't been able to truly explore that. When he takes a shower, cleaning himself thoroughly, he steps out to find Evan underneath the covers of his bed, and goddamn he looks good there. He looks so good. Tommy can't imagine someone ever looking as good at Evan. He joins him, and for the first time, he lets someone in.
"Iâm gonna start with the simple things." "Okay." "Okay. But before I do, I want you to know that Iâm not a whore. I donât have sex for lunches⌠not even great ones. So, if I do this, I am gonna stay for a few more days. Is that okay?" "Yeah. Yes."
It's the start of the rest of their lives together, of kisses, and fights, and guns, and strawberry gardens, and paintings, and growing old.
"I traded Joel and Tess one of your guns for a packet of seeds." "Which gun?" "A little one."
They love, and they live, and even though every day is tough, they're there to brave it all together.
'Iâm sorry." "For what?" "Gettinâ older faster than you." "Ah, I like you older. Older means weâre still here. What?" "I was never afraid before you showed up"
#911#bucktommy#kinkley#tevan#evan buckley#tommy kinard#buck x tommy#evan buck buckely#kit creates#911 moodboard
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Christmas with the Lin Kuei đ
(NOTE: I don't personally believe that the Lin Kuei celebrate Christmas because I headcanon that religion isn't allowed within the clan. The mindset of clan before blood also negates the whole family aspect of Christmas. HOWEVER I am making an exception for this list đ¤)
MK MASTERLIST ⢠Request Status: OPEN
âď¸ Bi-Han âď¸
Y'all... this man is not a Christmas hater (LET ME EXPLAIN)
Does he love Christmas? No. The fact of the matter is that Christmas happens during his favorite time of year: winter. Anything that happens in cold weather is decent in his eyes
He enjoys gift giving, especially when it's for Sektor and Sareena. Naturally he is a very observant person, so seeing the look of excitement on his significant others' faces when he gets them exactly what they wanted makes him happy
He's not really into all the family fun that's supposed to occur during the Christmas season (this man is NOT making a gingerbread house). He'd rather curl up near the fire and read a Christmas book (he enjoys A Christmas Carol because of the ghosts) with the people he cares about
DO NOT sing Christmas carols around him. DO NOT ask him to make it snow inside. He will actually lose his mind.
đĽ Kuai Liang đĽ
Kuai Liang is a Christmas enjoyer. He has a lot of positive memories associated with the holidays from when he was younger (playing with Harumi Shirai in the snow, decorating the Lin Kuei Palace with colorful candles)
Baking is one of his favorite Christmas traditions... Though he is an absolute fire hazard in the kitchen. He always ends up with burnt Christmas tree cookies that he absolutely smothers in frosting
Since TomĂĄs has difficulties around the holidays, Kuai Liang goes out of his way to help him feel cheerful by including him in activities. They've spent lots of time doing childish things like building snowmen or decorating a tree in the forest with homemade decorations
Last minute wrapper. Motherfucker is awake the entire night on Christmas Eve trying to wrap all the gifts he got. He is often exhausted on Christmas morning... And some Christmas' he doesn't wake up before noon
When he moved to Japan to establish the Shirai Ryu, he took several of his old Christmas decorations with him. He hasn't touched them since
đ¨ TomĂĄs Vrbada đ¨
TomĂĄs has... a complicated relationship with Christmas
On one hand, he has so many positive memories (both secular and religious) with his birth parents and sister during Christmas time... On the other hand he has so many positive memories of people that are no longer in his life
Regardless of how he feels, he tries really hard not to let his upsetment show. Whenever Kuai Liang asks him to bake with him or to build a snowman, TomĂĄs always says yes. He doesn't want to bring anyone else down because of him
TomĂĄs likes to watch Christmas cartoons like Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red Noses Reindeer. His absolute favorite Christmas cartoon is The Year Without A Santa Claus. He relates to how depressed Santa is.
Though he typically tries to avoid Bi-Han during the holiday season (why get kicked while he's already down?), sometimes he'll ask if he can sit with Bi-Han while he's watching a Christmas movie. That's the most time that they spend with each other without yelling at each other the whole year
âď¸ Sektor âď¸
CHRISTMAS. HATER. An absolute Scrooge
There were too many times in the past where she was let down by her mother and father during Christmas time, so now she just hates everything associated with the season
She locks herself in the Armory, working on things she doesn't need to be working on in order to distract herself. She barely sleeps, she barely eats, it's mildly concerning how consumed she is by her work
Bi-Han recognizes that Sektor needs her space and tries to respect that as much as possible, but he still gets worried when she doesn't leave the shop for more than a week. Sareena will go into the Armory and pester Sektor all day, asking questions about different Christmas things until Sektor kicks her out
The only day that Sektor is somewhat present is Christmas Day. She will go sit with everyone while they open gifts, sipping her coffee as she soaks in as much of the moment as she is emotionally able to
đ Cyrax đ
Cyrax likes both the religious and secular aspects of Christmas. She is a Catholic, so she sets up a little nativity scene in her room every year
Being from Nigeria, she has a lot of traditions that she brings into the Lin Kuei from the Zaki. One such tradition is going on an annual hunt and competing to see who can kill the largest animal within an allotted time. The winner is blessed with good luck for the upcoming year and their catch is served at Christmas dinner
Kuai Liang LOVES this tradition and competes with Cyrax yearly. He has yet to beat her. In fact the only person that was able to beat Cyrax's time and kill was Sareena, who managed to bring down an Ice Beast within ten minutes
When Cyrax and Kuai Liang dated, they spent a lot of time walking in the woods and looking at all the tracks in the snow. This was also an excuse for Cyrax to cuddle close to Kuai to stave off the cold
Will often join Kuai Liang in his quest to cheer up TomĂĄs, but she is also very aware of if TomĂĄs is not in the mood and will back away. She often has to remind Kuai Liang to not be too forceful when he's trying to help
đ Sareena đ
LOVES CHRISTMAS!!! I mean, who wouldn't after being trapped in the NetherRealm with a perverted old Sorcerer for centuries?
She especially loves to decorate the palace in bright lights. Instead of using candles, she wants to go to the store and buy actual electric bulbs (not realizing that the Lin Kuei palace doesn't have electricity... But Sektor would figure out a way to make them work). She spends time untangling the lights every year and gets tangled up every time
She has a lot of questions about Christmas. "Who is Santa Claus? How does he see us when we're sleeping? Is he a sorcerer? How does he fit down the chimney? How does he not set himself on fire when he's in the chimney and the fire is lit?..." Bi-Han started ignoring her after continuously answering her questions for three hours
Is addicted to eggnog and actually enjoys Kuai Liang's burnt cookies
She's very bad at gift giving. One year she gave Bi-Han and Sektor each a dead rabbit. She didn't wrap them either, so their chamber smelled really bad for a couple of days and Sektor and Bi-Han had no idea what was causing the smell. Meanwhile, Sareena's looking mischievous in the corner and thinking "Hehehe they'll never guess what their gifts are! ;)"
#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1#subzero#kuai liang#tomas vrbada#sektor#cyrax#sareena#bi han#scorpion#smoke#mk scorpion#mk1 scorpion#mk smoke#mk1 smoke#mk sektor#mk1 sektor#mk cyrax#mk1 cyrax#mk sareena#mk1 sareena#mk subzero#mk1 subzero#bireena#sekhan#sekhanreena#mortal kombat 1 (2023)#mk1#mk1 (2023)#mortal kombat headcanons
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I'm gonna rank all the enemies of Ultrakill cuz I'm bored.
Btw I am a noob and played only on harmless
Filth - 10/10
Nice goobers, basically walking french fries. I can never get mad at them, because how could I be mad at my best healers in this game? They are really cute and are pretty nice. I give them big hug after they take a bite of me! :3 (One punch them for fuel because damn that mouth might've as well ate me as a whole)
Stray -8/10
A bit annoying, considering they get to stand and shoot fireballs at me and move their asses from time to time. Luckily, they're too slow and suck at aiming unless I stand in one place. Great fuel and quite noticeable throughout the game (Until 7 layer, these babies are so similar looking to these fuck ass mannequins)
Schism - 6/10
Strays but upgrade I guess. Too much attitude backed up with unnecessary annyoing ability to live after charged blue shot. Hard to swallow pill. Although they have a noticeable for some reason butt. Idk why but okay?
Soldier - 5/10
That fucking bird that I hate. Would be a nice food, if it wouldn't kick me across the country. Ew.
Stalker - 7/10
Literally don't care about this.
Sisyphean Inssurectionist - 8/10
A tad bit irritating creature, always pushing me on the hot burning sand but it is fun to jump around. Reminded me of an old game on my playground where you stand on edges of sandbox and in the middle of it there is a "Shark" (kid that lost in rock, paper, scissors). This creature is a shark and well, no wonder it lost. I would too if I would only pick rock! Lol loser
Ferryman - 7/10
He was lightning, before the thunder. Confusing bone martial art master that goes up on some building, trying to strike me down with lightning. The dissaperance trick was fun, until I jumped out in the water, thinking he was hiding from me there. I died. Not cool killing me like that, dude. Be fair. Play nice.
Malicious Face - 8/10
Again, this flying fuck pisses me off, but it's a great healing thingy that needs only 100 nails (usually) to fall dead. Although, it is a shame it has to spit in me with fire. Nasty. I'm not into that kind of thing.
Cerberus - 5/10
I'm pretty sure Cerberus is a dog with three heads from Greek myhtology, so no idea why this overgrown football player has that name. This NFL fanatic throws his stupid ball at me and takis his big boy steps to get me, but I'm faster, this is when he stomps angrily instead of communicating his issues with me. Smartest man-looking creature that enjoys any games with ball. Fun to disrespect, not fun when he throws me away like he'd throw a deodorant if someone would offer him that.
Hideous Mass - 8/10
Perhaps hideous, but gives great piggy rides. Nice lobster, but I don't like seafood. Nothing more.
Idol - 5/10
Doesn't even hurt me, but god did you really have to put my food in zipper plastic bags so I couldn't eat them? (Puts some protection spell on other enemies, most often Virtue) Low blow.
Mannequin - 0/10
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!! FUCK AHHGHGHHGHGGH I HOPE YOU AND ALL YOUR SPECIES DIE OUT LIKE A PATHETIC COCKROACH IMMITATORS YOU ARE!!!!! Scary, creepy, hard, fast? That is supposed to me. I am the war machine that sends horror in souls and their non-existent hearts. You fucking fucks, stayed out till 7th layer to make my life difficult. I better not see your asses anymore!!!! You all will be executed on the spot. I hope you know that you are an unwanted creatures, a poor imitation of anything and you deserve nothing but to rot behind closed doors, posed in worst yoga posses you can imagine. DIE!!!!
Swordsmachine - 10/10
It may be hard to beat, but idc. I love it. So pretty, so beautiful, so fashionate. Oh wow. I missedyou, sweetheart, missed this robot from the 1st layer, been thinking about their glorious attacks and cute rushing to hit me with their arm. Had to pause a game because they were just so... so... mwah.
Drone - 7/10
One eyed poor Shockwave parody. Go boom and kill all your brothers around you, loser. Doesn't even heal and explodes.
Streetcleaner - 9/10
Just one point away because they set me on fire and that's not really nice. But overall great bots, really sweet and they sound soooo cuteee. WAHHHHHH I WANNA KISS AND HUG THEM SO BAD!!! They deserve a big hug you people!!! (Swordsmachine got some competition)
Mindflayer - 7,5/10
Pesky cyan plastic-metal woman. Okay, you teleport, okay, you shoot blue faces that haunt me until they hit the wall (why would you inspirate mannequins like that), we got it. But dying with exploding yourself after I hit you twice with taser? A bit dramatic. Somehow slay, and somehow go fuck yourself, no need to be such a hard target, just stay still, will you?
Sentry - 5/10
I don't like them, but I don't hate them.
Gutterman - 2/10
Fat ass metal discord mod harassing my innocent poor soul. Kicks me across the galaxy, doesn't heal, have a stupid shield (okay cap america enjoyer) but it won't protect you from me. I will still fry these assholes with my taser. Womp womp, die faster.
Guttertank 0/10
Annoying stupid fucking huge discord mod's brother that got mad. CRY ME A RIVER (full of blood so I could use it as a fuel) AND DIE!!!
Virtue - 9/10
Nice healing thingy that explodes, thanks man, but stop trying to destroy me with holy light. It's not difficult to dodge, I'm just lazy and would prefer if I didn't have to do much with beating common enemies.
V2 - 10/10
I love this guy. So silly. So goofy. Hard to fight because that's a literal copycat of me, but hey!!! They're fun and that is all that matters (get coin in the face goofball). Got me a good arm to deal with Discord mods and another good arm to swing around like Spiderman.. But I miss the guy, they died because of me and it's so sad that I won't see them again đ
The Corpse of King Minos - 10/10
Dapped up this guy so hard he died and healed my scoliosis. Hope he heals his brainworms wizards with fireballs that popped out of his eyes. I don't want that much eye contact buddy.
Gabriel - 10/10
Aside of his obvious attractiveness, a really fun guy!! I beat his ass, he got fired by upper angels and was supposed to die in 24hr unless he kills me (deadline is for real DEADline here), we fight again, I win, he has a moment of realisation, goes and kills his epmloyers, all upper angels, that stupid Council and then shows the beheaded to the public. Awesome. THE GOAT (greatest of them all) fr fr. We love you Gabriel
Leviathan - 5/10
I don't like sea food, I don't like baby faces. But fight wasn't that hard.
Minotaur - 3/10
Why the hell is he chasing me on my train?! Go touch some grass or smth idk
1000-THR Defense System - 7/10
Fun, easy, but confusing. Yet not exciting.
1000-THR Earthmover - 1/10
It was sickening and depressing to fight this Evangelion boss. So many parkour, stupid pests, scary heights I had to go through, no, jump through. But the last cry of this metal creature? Healed me better than anything.
Flesh Prison ?-10
has goofy ahh loking mouth (im not feeding you) no pic doesnt deserve it
Minos Prime - 3/10
Not gonna fight this guy cuz I no no wanna. Besides, this isn't transformers, you are not a prime, you look like a long lost father of The Spot from spiderverse, unserious and unneeded use of "thy" (ok medieval grandpa), bet you are no fun.
Flesh Panopticon - 0/10
what are you. why are you.
SIsyphus Prime - 4/10
Agai, this is not transphormers, but he has a fun voiceline so I'll allow his existence I guess
#ultrakill#lina blogs#v1#v2#archangel gabriel#minos prime#swordsmachine#mindflayer#sisyphus prime#earthmover#ferryman#malicious face ultrakill#schism ultrakill#filth ultrakill#streetcleaner ultrakill#leviathan ultrakill
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