#like. harder than it ever was
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this place makes me want to kill myself
#things have been.... incredibly hard on my job#like. harder than it ever was#I don't even have it in me to talk about it because I don't wanna relive it#but that one coworker who hates me just brought it up again to make it worse#and I did SO good on keeping my cool and simply not caring when it happened earlier this week#I guess she saw that and couldn't let me be at peace with something for once#she realized I didn't suffer enough from the situation and decided to give me one last blow about it#which is just bizarre. I wish everyone here would stop acting like children#god I just wanna get out of here so bad#this place makes me want to throw up#I never want to work in an office job again#it's just fucking ruined for me#if I don't pass the latam dynamic I'm just gonna go back to job hunting for grocery store jobs or something#I can't believe this place was so toxic it made me give up my entire plan b career path#rambles*
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Dean and Castiel in season 14
#WHY DID THEY BREAK UP#they’re not even broken up rn though they’re just fighting and haven’t had sex in like a week..#I’m so sad because for the whole middle of season 14 they were dating harder than they’ve ever dated before#also it just felt so incredibly manufactured by Chuck the character and the irl writers… like ofc conflict ..#but they have enough conflict as it is they can clash and grow and still be together fml…….#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#deancas#destiel#my art
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"do you agree? - yes."
#peaceful property#peaceful property series#taynew#peaceful property ep12#peachhome#peach x home#tay tawan#new thitipoom#gmmtv#thai drama#i didnt have time to make content about this show sadly but as this is the finale i wanna take a few seconds to say#that this was an absolutely incredible production and I am in absolute awe of it#so so well done in every aspect and the found family trope hit harder than ever#somehow ended up tearing up in every episode lmao#taynew delivered another masterpiece and i will never ever doubt them again lol#peach is adorable as heck and newie is an ACTOR alright like damn#and all the cameos? on fcking POINT#to air such a gem on a random wednesday? a crime.#which on the other hand gives me higher hopes for THK lmao#but anyway i loved every second of this and i highly recommend it to anyone who hasnt seen it#more like this in the future please thank you!!!!!#gmm does get it right sometimes#but only if its bromance and said bromance is clearly not in the room with us#which is a very unique type of genre#but somehow it hits the spot#end of review
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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no one:
no one at all:
me listening to sad french music while missing jean:
#love story by indila be hitting harder than ever folks#like my ass be WEEPING#bc….. JEAN 🥹#jean moreau#the sunshine court#tsc#all for the game#aftg#nora sakavic
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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Was always worried about the angst of unrequited love, had never realized the sheer amount of comedic potential that it has.
Imagine one-sided Superbat where Clark is fully aware that Bruce has a crush on him but is being his repressed self about it, and Clark is just like, “I’m not gonna touch that :) you’re going to figure that out for yourself, buddy, and in the meantime, I’m just going to have a good time and be best friends with you as you inevitably pull yourself together enough to either fall out of love or to confess :) and I’ll just let you down gently because I care about you :)” but he absolutely 100% is using it to his advantage in the meantime. His puppy dog eyes had never been so effective before. He’s gotten out of Monitor Duty three times in the past month.
#altho tbh personally if *I* were writing this all out I WOULD make requited superabt endgame#because it’s more fun#like clark is slowly falling in love with bruce while bruce is slowly coming to terms with being in love with clark#like bruce fell both faster and harder because. have u seen clark. who wouldn’t fold#meanwhile the justice league tease the shit out of bruce#and i picture clark as being a hell of a good actor because he HAS to be for his identity to work even more so than bruce or anyone else#so he’s very much able to keep his own feelings quiet when he realizes that he’s returning bruce’s love#and hey maybe u CAN bring the angst full circle back into this premise#like 1) clark believes somehow that people will inevitably fall out of love w him and that includes bruce#and 2) bruce when he finally figures out his own feelings for clark (way later than everyone else figured out him) probs realizes that clark#knew this whole damn time and didn’t say a word. and bruce is both justifiably mortified and falsely certain that clark does not return his#feelings because he’d have said smth by now if he did#even tho atp i would have clark return his feelings#also if u don’t believe clark wouldn’t 100% be a little shit about bruce’s feelings may i just present#literally everything he’s done to lois ever in every superman canon ever#<- i’m not saying that like he bullies lois or would bully bruce in this fic premise bc they both give it as good as they’ve got#and they very much pull a lot over clark so it all evens out or even falls in the other’s favor more often than not#anyway. yeah that’s my one (1) superbat fic premise.#part of the reason why i LOOOVE superbat and clois but haven’t written jackshit for either of them yet is that#i feel like there’s sooooooo many fics for both of them that i could not explore smth new with them ykwim#er well in the case of lois not just fics but like sooo many clois canons with their own takes and exploratons#superbat#superman#clark kent#batman#bruce wayne#simu's two cents#dc#also i wouldn’t touch the batkids with a ten foot pole.
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Unpopular almost blasphemous labru opinion time: kabru would so be into getting flavour profiled actually hed be like. Oh citrus notes interesting. And then he'd have a small crisis about not being able to do the same for Laios BUT he can tell him how quickly he would die if he stabbed him in whatever part he's kissing and that's just as sexy
#labru#nsft text#so much fanfic in which laios is like 'oh you taste almost like..' and kabru is like NO and im sorry esteemed scholars i gotta disagree#its an interesting thing to know!#now if you dont want to go to the trouble of describing taste because its a pain in the ass i respect that#wow but ive been talking a lot about laios eating kabru out lately. it has been a very dry pride month over here what can i say#kabru *sucking a mark into laios' tigh* and you see youd think this is safe but actually an important artery passes here#*resting his ear on the spot* i can even hear your heartbeat!!! *big smile* you'd bleed out in ten minutes#laios *harder than hes ever been in his life* what if. what if you stabbed my dick#kabru *still smiling* not yet#laios: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEE
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getting that itch under my skin again where everything feels flat and I wanna do destructive shit just for some actual excitement. everything feels like a painted backdrop
#actually npd#actually narcissistic#actually aspd#actually antisocial#anhedonia#times like these i wanna relapse or get on something harder than weed or commit a crime#i would lift some small shit to get a little boost but i dont go to stores like ever#even sh feels like it would be kinda boring
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Himaruya Bamboo Thicket Blog Posts Link
Hi, today I came across those super old blog posts from Hima on Hetarchive, many of which are apparently still left untranslated. Since I had nothing to do today, I decided to put them all in a doc in order and side-by-side with English translations. Since it's A LOT and I'm lazy, I decided to just put them through ChatGPT lol. It's still a work in progress, atm of writing this I've only done January-March 2008 lol, but anyway if you're interested, feel free to check it out:
I'm learning a lot about Hima like this honestly, like apparently he has ADHD? It's very interesting
And if you happen to know if there was anybody else who tled these elsewhere, please let me know! :)
#hetalia#hidekaz himaruya#btw sorry for not tling any heta content lately i tried tling a dj the other day but it was harder than i remember so i gave up lol#originally my plan for today was to log down all heta content and the dates they came out so I can put Hetalia “in order”#but then got distracted by these un-tled blog posts so I guess you can consider this step one of a very long process#though i can't expect I'll ever actually finish lol I just love doing these weird impulses of mine whenever I feel like it#and if you're interested atm I've been tling a manga series called “my arika” it's pretty good
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truly the master of 'fake deep older guy tricking teenage girls into thinking he has anything of value to say'
#I understand Utena is a sporty lesbian type so the crab stance obviously makes sense#what is Akio talking about ever#utena: juri has had her little lesbian heart crushed but she seems to be taking it harder than is appropriate for such a straight girl?#akio: utena you're like ganymede#rgu
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I kept this in my drafts cause I was gunna expand on it, but I dunno if I need to. Either way, I thought it was interesting that the refugee trio from Canaan are all just different aspects of Grief represented through the kaleidoscope of their personhood. Because mourning is a spectrum, no more or less vivid for the death being metaphorical or literal, and there’s been some weird hot takes that more or less emotive grieving is ‘strange’ or whatever, so, onward!
Judith is unable to feel her own emotions (or at least with any depth) because she's made herself an emotional void, due to training (Cohort AND Second expectations), repression and losing Marta. She was already constipated and that tipped her over to cutting her own throat so she’d emotionally starve.
The last emotive thing she had was oh captain my captain levels of obsession for the woman that rejected her romantically, DUTY, and with equal verve the self loathing for wanting that.
(Also she was being medically maltreated by BoE and then used as a Duracell so y'know, you can not like the woman for being an unsympathetic hypocrite but also, rough ol' time for Jodypops)
Corona has used the flamboyance of her emotions as a manipulation tactic since she was like.. 5 and oops it suddenly stopped working! The tits, the smiles and the twinkly eyes have no effect in camo land, if anything, they are tired of her shit and only “warm up” to her when she starts submitting to them in ways they understand (Re: BoE are a hierarchy and she is Not the top rung). She's also grieving Ianthe not wanting her (worse, choosing BABS) and failing to throw her Pretty Girl weight around as much as she used to, whilst cosplaying a Cav to feel worth something (habitual, comforting).
On top of that, she’s bouncing from pillar to post in an attempt to be desired because her worth is locked up in other’s perception of her. (She fails so hard to connect with anyone she starts chatting up G2deon's corpse like.. It's SAD even if she's Tridentarii heinous (affectionate insult))
And Camilla is forcing herself not to feel because she doesn't have time for a breakdown. She's tick listing how to “make things right” through torture (shock bracelet) being used as a means of coercion for Judith (also torture) having what was left of Pal taken away from her (I mean this literally and figuratively, because his skull, then hand, are hope AND HIM) ((likewise the BETRAYAL from a necro and a cav about it)) and being denied doing GOOD (denial of treatment of Judith). I think honestly she reacts the most MUNDANELY, by just... powering through, keeping busy, not thinking about it because then it'll be real.
And she doesn't let herself break until Paul, because she’s still trying to fix everything until the very moment it’s un-fixable. (And in some ways Palamedes takes the burden of it for her, by giving her the choice, the "it's okay, now, you can feel". All that time, bottling the HURT because she has to be useful because if she's not useful what's left? It's the vice of grief as you excuse yourself from the young woman you're caring for, it's locking the bathroom door, sitting in the bath and your body betraying you with the mother and fucker of a panic attacks. It's getting punched in the solar plexus because you turned around to make a comment and not only is that person gone, but they aren’t coming back.
None of them are any more or less tragic, but they are all acceptable and staggeringly normal forms of grieving.
#it puts me in mind of people who say breaking up from a partner you fuck is harder than one you don't#sweet summer child the worst break ups I've ever had were from people I did not even kiss#the worst loss I've felt is from a lizard#also the 'she's just being a cav' 'it's cavitis' thing is such horse shit#do any of you have siblings?#that's sold as an unbreakable ride or die bond#where you're expected to offer love and life long duty#and I would sell my sister for the £30 she still fucking owes me#you can take a horse to water but you cannot make them drink#these people were already Like This#Cavalier and Necro dynamics just gave them a space to be weird about it#the locked tomb#tlt#tlt spoilers#camilla hect#coronabeth tridentarius#judith deuteros#lickedher
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I connected the dots (ie I saw two rottmnt dtiys challenges involving cars and decided to combine them)
AU crossover time! Featuring @angelpuns's Leo and @onionninjasstuff's Donnie and Mikey.
They saw Barbie in theaters, robbed the US government, and got ice cream afterward.
(In my mind this is post villain pb+j "redemption", meaning they're still gleefully destructive, but now also get along with their long lost family.)
Bonus:
#leo can have a little crime. as a treat#(i really didn't want it to be angsty)#this might be the most involved peice of fanart ive ever attempted#was it fun? yes. was it a pain in the butt? also yes#pizza supreme i had to draw CARS for this!#fun fact- Donnies gun is based off of a nerf gun. it felt like the right amount of extra#also: this is my first time using alt text. image ids are harder than i thought#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt fancomic#my art#rottmnt dtiys#rottmnt au#villain pb&j duo#kid leo au#unrealistic sci fi gun but jic#tw gun#cw gun#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph
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I'm actually so done with people (including "allies") using trans* men in order to attack trans* women. There is no trans liberation without all of us.
"Oh, you don't see trans men doing [x], but you see trans women doing it!" Actually, that just tells me that you intentionally leave trans* men out of this specific bias against trans people. It tells me everything about your attitude about trans* men and trans* women.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#transmisogyny tw#going to actually steal something out of y'all's houses if i see that EVER again#'trans men aren't invading manhood!' every time y'all say that i ~invade~ manhood even harder#genuinely saw somebody like 'trans men know they're too weak to go after [cis] manhood' and y'all are so sexist it hurts...#...like y'all really just think women(/anybody you force into womanhood) are INHERENTLY weaker...#...and people wonder why transphobia is so tied to things like racism/antisemitism/white supremacy/so many others...#...because rhetoric like this RELIES and DEPENDS ON people believing in the idea of a lesser class of peoples...#...without the idea that there is a Lesser Class/Less-Than-Human Class these ideas (eg transphobia/homophobia/sexism/rascism) CEASE to exist#scratch a transphobe and a fascist bleeds
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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finishing my art? never
heres some silly huskerdust sketches i had to dig out of a discord server because i forgot to save the canvases
#hazbin hotel#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel angel dust#angel dust#husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#huskerdust#angel dust x husk#husk x angel dust#why are these tags so fuckin awful like#way harder than tagging homestuck art wtf#the struggle of having characters with names that are either something else or lame HA#i love that these are genuinely awful sketches and idec im posting them because otherwise no one else will ever see them#theyll also never be finished
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