#like…im not a doctor…but a diagnoses might be there for something

[mr-payjay]

one of my favourite scenarios to imagine is that im a fictional character's doctor for EVERYTHING about them and im diagnosing them with mental disorders and physical disabilities as well as prescribing them treatment and medication 😊 i love to think about how They'd present their symptoms (like in what way they'd tell me about them with me being a doctor), which ones they've noticed and which ones they haven't, if they assume they have a certain disorder that they may not actually have, what kind of questions id ask them to try and find satisfactory answers, etc. and then i come up with medication and make sure it doesn't intersect with other conditions or medications, and i try and find specific therapies that would specialize in their mental health issues as well as general strategies that could help them just OUGHH so much fun it never ends

[sollucets]

hi everyone :’) i havent been on tumblr much lately because i am 1) not watching anything and 2) still dealing with the effects of a bunch of fun medical stuff! i am doing ok but my body hates me so so so much lately. i have the energy and ability(?) to do only a few very specific things right now (play elden ring, let youtube forcefeed me kpop videos, languish) and that does not include watch show or make gif or even write no matter how much i might want to. so. this is how it is haha. miss u guys

[xoshepard]

i've been walking on the treadmill every day this week thanks to my brain currently doesn't hate me and being remote makes it much easier to do shit that's not working and commuting, and i actually jogged last night and it felt good and i wasn't forcing myself i just wanted to... finally back to 2016-2017 tahirah who was motivated enough to get up and jog every morning

[girl-bateman]

Blood-work came back fine which either means I really do have a mysterious deadly illness OR its my mental health that's fucking up my physical health. Now my dilemma for my upcoming appointment .. do I mention how neurotically devastated I've been feeling these last months, knowing the doctor might be relieved to blame it all on hysteria instead of doing more testing ? Or do I just... not say anything about that.. lol

[mylovesstuffs]

“It’s not cute” — Choi Seungcheol

Request: hey, Celeste!!! how are you doing? I'm so glad your requests are open!

i wanted to request something (in whatever form you feel most inspired to): reader having essential tremors (it's an actual condition im not making it up 😭✋) and being frustrated about it, maybe lashing out or breaking down one day. the fact that everyone points it out and sometimes joke abt it, etc. angst + comfort , maybe? also i'd like it to be w cheol or wonu, but tbh any of them is absolutely fine!

tysm <333

It starts with eyeliner and ends in a breakdown. The world doesn’t understand what it’s like to live in a body that won’t always obey, tired of laughing first before someone else can. But Seungcheol doesn’t need to understand it all, he just holds your trembling hands like they’ve always been steady, and loves you like you’ve never been less.

Genre: Non-idol au, established relationship, angst and comfort, introspective slice of life and character study

Pairing: Seungcheol × fem!reader

Content: Essential tremors [aka benign tremor, familial tremor, and idiopathic tremor], emotional breakdown, eyeliner symbolism [bc girlyhood], comfort from a loving partner who is choi seungcheol, no judgment, warm arms and understanding hearts, one-sided flashbacks to bullying/teasing, reader struggling with internalized shame, reassurance, love that stays

Content warning: Mentions of medical condition [essential tremors], anxiety, childhood bullying, ableist microaggressions, internalized frustration and self-doubt, crying, cursing once or twice, one emotionally charged breakdown. No explicit content.

Word count: 921 words

A/N: It was supposed to be shorter... about 400 words like a drabble, though I still think it's drabble but I was hoping for it to either be 400-500 words or 1k 😔

For my sweet anon—i hope this gives you even a sliver of the comfort you were looking for. This one was written with a lot of heart at like... 2:46 am when i should’ve been asleep but cheol brainrot said otherwise. To anyone else who reads this and relates even a little: your exhaustion and frustration is valid, and your hands deserve to be held gently too. I experience a slight tremor as well, though I believe it’s genetic since it runs in my family. According to my doctor, mine is primarily triggered by stress and anxiety [I was under treatment back in October during a period when my mental health went really down]. I’ve been prescribed different medications since then, not specifically targeted for tremors, but the tremor was listed as one of the symptoms being addressed in the medication guidelines. While I might not fully relate to this experience, as my condition hasn’t been formally diagnosed and doesn’t really interfere with my daily life, I still hope I was able to do this piece justice. Also, huge thanks to Calli @hhaechansmoless for beta-ing. As always, we run anyway ! (￣▽￣)ノ♡

It starts small, and it always does; a dropped spoon, a tremble in your fingers while pouring water. The slightest bit of shake that you'd think it could pass unnoticed, but that, people always notice, and never don’t comment on.

“Why are you always shaking?”

“You nervous or something?”

“You should drink less coffee.”

“Aw, you’re like a baby deer.”

Haha, it is so funny to you at this point. But today, it feels entirely different to you, it's like you're not yourself anymore. You’re tired, and you just want to put your eyeliner on, but the line goes jagged again. And for some reason, that tiny thing becomes the last straw of the day.

You slam the eyeliner on the counter and nearly knock over everything else with your unsteady hands. “God, I’m so sick of this!” you hiss. “Why can’t I just be normal for five fucking seconds?”

The bathroom door creaks open and you already feel Seungcheol behind you. “Hey,” he says softly. “What’s going on?”

You blink back your unshed tears, but still they betray you like everything else lately. “It’s not cute, Cheol. It’s not quirky, or funny, or something you get to joke about. I hate it. I hate how I shake. I hate how people treat me like it’s some personality trait. It’s a condition, and I’m tired.” Your voice cracks, and so does your composure, and you sink down onto the closed toilet lid, face in your hands, breath shaky just like your very own fingers. The way they’ve done for so long, it doesn’t even surprise you anymore.

All you expect right now, is silence. But instead big, calloused, warm hands wrap gently around yours.

Shaking or not, he brings them to his lips and kisses your knuckles, softly and slowly. “I know it’s not cute when people don’t take it seriously,” he says, kneeling in front of you. “And I’m sorry if anyone’s ever made you feel like you have to pretend it’s no big deal.”

You look up with your glassy eyes and trembling lips. “I’ve never once thought less of you for it,” he murmurs. “You don’t have to be ‘normal’ to be everything I love.” A small sob leaves your lips, and he pulls you into a hug, his arms secure around you, voice a low hum against your hair. “You can be frustrated. You can hate it, but you don’t have to go through it alone. I’m here, even if your hands shake every day for the rest of your life, I’ll still hold them just like this.”

You want to believe him, even as your fingers tremble. In fact, you do believe him; believe that he doesn’t want to let go, that he won’t.

But there’s something bitter lodged deep in your chest, a heaviness that doesn't disappear just because someone holds you through it, because you've heard this before. Variations of it. Words that sounded like comfort, but were laced with pity, gestures that looked like care, but never stayed long enough to be safe.

You remember being younger and dropping your spoon in front of classmates during recess. The laughter and the mock sympathy haunted you for years and they still does. “Are you scared?” they'd tease. You weren’t; not then at least. You didn’t even know what was happening, and why your body betrayed you when all you wanted was to be still.

And now, years later, it’s not even the tremor that hurts most, it’s what comes along with it without your consent. The way people watch, the way they assume it’s your fault, the way you're constantly being explained—to others, to yourself, that you’ve become a walking explanation.

“You know, she has this thing—”

“It’s not that big of a deal—”

“She’s always been like that—” You’re always like that.

It chips away at you, little by little, and you start adjusting your life to avoid the gaze. No eyeliner on days you feel particularly self-conscious, two hands to hold a cup, even if it makes you look ridiculous, rehearsing how you’ll brush it off when someone points it out again; laughing before they do, so it seems like you're okay with it.

You’ve weaponized your own shame into pre-emptive jokes. Turned your fear into something palatable… but it still hurts. It hurts when people don’t even ask if you’re okay. They just assume you’re something to laugh at, to observe, and you’ve been strong for so long, that today just felt like the end of it. Like how this one tiny thing —the jagged eyeliner—was all it took to remind you how helpless it can feel to live in a body that doesn’t always listen. But now, there’s warmth.

And maybe that should terrify you, because if people can be cruel, then love can be temporary. But his arms around you don’t feel temporary, his silence doesn’t feel judgmental, and most important of all, he doesn’t ask you to feel better; he just stays along with you.

You want to believe that someone can see all of it: the struggle, the cracks, the exhaustion, and still choose to stay, but not because they pity you, not because they want to fix you, but because they love you even like this, and especially like this.

Your breath hiccups in your throat, and you let yourself lean into him just a little more. Though your hands still shake, you begin to believe they don’t make you any less worthy of being held.

[kannady]

do you remember me too?

pairing: sylus x mc reader

synopsis: love and deepspace was a newfound obsession of yours. you installed the game shortly after sylus was released as a love interest. it'd be safe to say he was the reason you installed the app. however, finals week was approaching and you had to say goodbye to your favourite game. not for long, ofcourse. but you decide to login for the last time to check the new event.

word count: 2k

a/n: hey everyone! honestly im loving this ffc so much! its great to see people liking it, it really encourages me to go on. ive been doing tons research on the game before adding characters and im falling in love all over again 😭. please leave your thoughts, id love to know what you think of the story so far!

check out all chapters here

Chapter Three

Badum! Badum!

Could someone's heart burst from their chest from excitement, ecstasy, and confusion? Because yours was about to. Either your eyes were deceiving you, or you had gone insane. There was no other possible explanation. Your mind bombarded you with relentless questions.

The man before you was Zayne. His freshly trimmed black hair glistened under the clinic lights, framing hazel-green eyes that sparkled like gemstones. His sharp nose and chiseled features completed that signature stoic expression. Had you died and gone to heaven?

You gulped, taking hesitant steps toward him. Even now, you couldn't fully believe you stood in the presence of THE Zayne Li. Who could?

What should you do? You'd already resolved not to ask him to prove his existence—he clearly existed, standing right before you. Nor would you show any confusion. While your family might excuse odd behavior, someone of his caliber would diagnose it as delirium—the last thing you wanted.

He scribbled in a file as you approached. Sensing your presence, he glanced up, meeting your gaze over his glasses. Is this how I die? Your heart skipped several beats as your breath caught. For a moment, you forgot how to breathe entirely. Your chest constricted while your palms grew clammy. Maybe your body was overreacting. Unconsciously, you pressed a hand to your chest, forcing a slow inhale.

"Look who finally decided to show up. Take a seat."

Holy shit. He talks!

You weren't mentally prepared for this. The truth was undeniable now—you were inside Love & Deepspace! How else could this be explained? Your stare remained locked on him. He mirrored his game counterpart perfectly, except he was flesh and blood—his ethereal mannerisms and striking features somehow more breathtaking in reality. How was someone like him just a doctor? Under these circumstances, that seemed the only sane question to ask.

"H-hi, sorry I'm late. Traffic, you know," you chuckled nervously, omitting the real reasons.

"Yes, I know. I also know you staged that whole disbelief act to avoid your fate." He gestured around the office.

"Who can escape the Master of Fate?" you muttered under your breath.

"What was that?" His expression, if possible, grew more impassive. He'd definitely heard something—but how much?

"Nothing!" Play it cool. "So, the appointment..." You gestured for him to proceed, eager to escape this suffocating situation. Just an hour ago, you'd been studying for exams—now you conversed with Zayne. Not something that happens everyday.

"Yes, I was supposed to review your test results from last month." He emphasized "last month." Apparently, you—or whoever you'd replaced—had avoided this appointment for thirty days.

"Oh. Am I okay?"

"(Reader), you should've come weeks ago. These results"—he indicated the scattered papers—"are outdated." His displeasure was evident, though it wasn't your fault. You were just inheriting someone else's consequences.

"We can redo the tests." Your suggestion worked instantly. His stern demeanor shifted to bewilderment. "We will. And this time, I'll ensure we get same-day results so you can't flee." His narrowed eyes felt like drills boring into your skull. What had your predecessor done?

Without warning, he stood and headed for the door. "Follow me."

You practically jogged to keep up with his long strides. "S-slow down, Zayne..."

He halted abruptly, making you collide with his rock-solid back. As your eyes met again, the reality of interacting with Zayne still felt surreal. He stepped aside, holding the door open. "We're here." The Pathology Department sign loomed overhead.

For what felt like hours, you followed him through various tests—exhausting but painless. Why would anyone avoid this? Finally, he asked you to wait while processing results, giving you precious time to process your situation. Zayne was real. You'd touched him, confirming this wasn't a dream. Yet your parents and sister existed here too—non-game characters. Unless...you weren't the protagonist. That would explain the discrepancies. But if Zayne was real, then so was—

Badum. Badum. Badum.

Your heart raced painfully fast, breath hitching. Icy fingers clenched as conflicting emotions brewed within you—ecstasy, terror, bewilderment. You needed to see him. Sylus.

"Your results are ready." Zayne's voice snapped you back. Following him blindly, you crashed into him again when he stopped at his office. "God! What do you eat?" You rubbed your forehead.

"It's not dietary. Spinal rigidity can stem from muscle tension, spasms, poor posture, injuries, trauma, sedentary lifestyle, fibromyalgia, chronic pain syndromes, dehydration, or nutrient deficiencies."

"You do realise you just diagnosed yourself, right? Go see a doctor." The corners of his lips quirked briefly—a fleeting smile. Barely visible, but it was there. You’d always remember you had made him smile.

Seated across from him, he frowned at the reports. "These show drastic changes."

"Well, there's a month's gap."

"Drastic changes," he reiterated.

Shit. Does he know?

"Excellent progress. You've followed my advice." He nodded approvingly. Advice? Whatever—you were safe. As he handed you a discharge form, his stare became uncomfortable.

"Why are you staring?"

"Assessing my patient."

"That's weird."

"It's my job."

"Look over there instead." You pointed randomly, hastily completing the form. Amusingly, he actually kept gazing where directed. Beautiful and literal—just like in-game. If Zayne affected you this much, imagining Sylus might stop your heart.

"All done." You stood to leave.

"Wait." Zayne's voice halted you. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"You seem...different."

That was the understatement of the century. You were an imposter, clueless about your predecessor. Before you could respond, he added, "Your handwriting has improved."

My escape route! "I practiced. Anyway, bye!" You bolted.

Outside, reality sank in. Zayne was real. This world was real. But unasnwered questions remained. Who were you here? What was your life? What did you do? There was no one you could ask without seeming like a lunatic. Defeated, you headed home.

"I'm back!" Your mom appeared instantly. "You actually went? How was it?"

"I went! Zayne said I'm fine—following instructions perfectly."

"Wonderful! With the doctor's approval, you're all set!" Her cryptic joy raised more questions, but you feigned exhaustion, retreating upstairs.

Your room stopped you cold. Gone were your familiar belongings—replaced by game merchandise. Honeybee, Succulent Bunny, Comfy Peanut, Snowy Fox plushies. The bookshelf stunned you further: Types and Classes of Wanderers, Ideal Close-Combat Weapons, 50 Wanderer Confrontation Mistakes, Wanderers: Friends or Foes?

Before you could process this, the door flew open. Your sister leaned against the frame, arms crossed, scrutinizing you with a smug expression on her face. After a prolonged silence, she delivered the chilling verdict:

"You're not really you, are you?"

Once again, lemme know if you wanna be on the taglist and share your thoughts!

tags: @zenbutnotreally, @godoffuckedupcats, @noxus123, @madam8, @agustdxjiminx, @liz9898, @lemonn015, @tearydamsel, @diegojeanne, @alyssac9, @dummiebunny

[catmask]

if it's not too intrusive, would you be comfortable talking about your experiences with OCD and maybe what made you seek a diagnosis?

idm it might help other people. i mean disclaimer not to use this as a diagnostic tool but if this sounds like u and u got a doc to talk to its worth bringing up

i think an important place to start and why i didnt think i had ocd is i am 1) autistic 2) a csa victim. this is pertinent because all of the things that actually lead me to get diagnosed with ocd i just kept dismissing as parts of those two other things. thinking 'surely this is all thats up there cant be anything else wrong with me' (<- thoughts of a clown)

the trouble with this is that coping skills id found for parts of both autism and csa trauma weren't working with things i later found out were related to ocd. so like, for example. frequently having intrusive thoughts about csa/sex trauma, i was told that if im experiencing a flashback the best thing i can do is try to ground myself and comfort myself. and yeah this is true, it would work if a flashback is all it was. but what it DIDNT account for is the guilt/dirty feeling id get after having them and the obsessive need to be 'clean' after.

and this trickled into hundreds of aspects of my life. 'cleaness' has always been such a vague unattainable concept unmedicated for ocd. if some things touch other things theyd become 'unclean'. if a person i felt uncomfortable around touched me or something it became 'unclean'. there were 'good' and 'bad' thoughts to have. i was constantly existing as if my presence was being monitored 24/7.

i could not fucking relax because every action i took, regardless of whether or not i was in private, i was constantly thinkin 'am i doing something wrong? am i hurting someone by doing this? am i breaking any rules?' and the 'bad thing' i was doing was like. i missed my boyfriend while he was at work. or i was going over former scenarios in which i was socially awkward in my head and wondering if i should be dead for doing that.

part of why i dismissed this as autism ofc too is yknow. being autistic i often missed social queues as a kid and was pretty brutally punished for it (physically by my parents, emotionally and socially by peers) so i was like yeah its Normal and Realsitic id have super intense fear about 'am i secretly doing something bad and dont realzie it because no one will fucking tell me until ive already done it and its too late and then i deserve all the punishment i get' but where my loved ones stepped in and were like Hey thats Not really normal. is where it waslike. other autistic people going 'brother i dont do that'

so yeah. it was like. kind of rule of elimination? the problems that wrrent getting solved by coping skills for the Other problems i Knew i had, i isolated those leftover things and my doctor was like 'this sounds like you have ocd. do you do this too' and listed out like 60 other things i didnt consider symptoms i just considered 'funny quirks' i had, like crying so hard id throw up if i couldnt get a blanket to lie perfectly flat during a picnic when i was 8 or thinking i was going to hell and my stuffed animals could feel pain so i would apologize to them iver and over while crying when they fell off the bed

you know. 'quirks'

[copperbadge]

How did you find the doctor(s) who assessed you for ADHD? Im looking into the process of getting diagnosed because (although ive suspected I might have adhd for years now) I've been struggling a lot more lately and i want to try medication to see if it helps at all. Im trying to search for psychiatrists through my health insurance portal but the the results im getting are all for child/adolescent psychiatry specialists, and I dont think that'll be much help for an adult adhd assessment? Did you have an established therapist to refer you for your assessment or were you able to find a psychiatrist independently?

I actually just kind of had to freeform it, but that does mean I have some tips to share!

I will say, I have never once used a health insurance portal to find someone to treat me for anything. Often their search engine is fucked up and the information is sometimes out of date. I almost always either ask someone who I know has had similar issues if they have a recommendation, ask my treating physician if I have one, or just google until I find someone reputable-looking; any qualified medical center or professional will list what insurance they take anyway, and you can always ask when you make the appointment.

So here's the process for how to do that!

When I was first considering it, I asked a friend who'd had an evaluation that came back not-ADHD, which I liked because it meant we knew it wasn't like, a weird Adderall pill mill or something. I really wanted to have a professional and thorough evaluation because I knew myself and knew I was capable of gaming a questionnaire. The place she had her evaluation was unfortunately having some staffing issues; part of the reason it took me so long is that I played phone tag with them for ages -- I'd call, and regardless of what time of day I called, their scheduler would be "out", so I'd leave a message and never get a call back. Ultimately I said "I really need to talk to a human, because your scheduler has not returned any of my numerous calls" and they said they could transfer me to another office outside of Chicago (in the burbs). That was not going to be accessible to me, so I told them thanks but I'll go somewhere else. Then COVID hit and I was not going to go anywhere near a medical center unless I had to for about two years.

So, when I was making my second serious run at getting evaluated, I did what might be expected of me by longtime readers of this blog: I made a spreadsheet.

I want to caveat this up top with REALLY IMPORTANT CONTEXT: I did not do all of this in a single day. The process from starting research to making an evaluation appointment took about a month, and probably would have taken longer if I wasn't getting somewhat desperate. Do not push yourself to do this as a single act. Research alone is a multi-day process; some days I looked at the open tabs and only entered one tab's worth of information. It took me quite a bit of time to write the form email I sent inquiring about an assessment. It took me time to call the clinic back when they asked me to call to book the appointment. This is a series of steps, not a single leap.

So!

I was looking for a clinic rather than an individual, in part because I'd heard a couple of horror stories about people who went to a psychiatrist and just got argued with for an hour instead of actually getting evaluated. So I googled, and here are some key terms for you, chicago adult adhd assessment. Chicago obviously for the region, but "adult adhd" (putting it in quotes will help) is the important term that will help you filter out a lot of child psych stuff. A lot of what I looked at did included family or child assessment/therapy but were clear that they also evaluated adults.

Then I went through every legit-looking search result and noted down, in my spreadsheet, the name of the clinic/company, the contact phone and email, the URL, the physical location (I needed to be able to get to it fairly easily) and whether they took my insurance. Even if they didn't take my insurance (all but one did) I still put them into the spreadsheet so that if I found them again I could check the sheet and know I didn't need to investigate further. I also tended to bump more legitimate and friendly-looking places to the top of the sheet. And if I were going to do it again I would also look for one specific thing, which is an assessment guide of some kind.

The assessment guide may be something they only give you after you speak with them, so it's not a no-go if they don't have one on their website, but it basically tells you what generally will go on during the assessment, how long it will take, and what you should bring. A full assessment like I had is estimated to take 4-6 hours and they recommended I wear layers so I wouldn't be overly cold/warm in their office, and to bring a snack. That's the kind of information you want, duration of the assessment and what they recommend for you, to ensure that you're working with people who are thorough and care about your comfort.

So, I have this spreadsheet now of places to reach out to, which I know take my insurance and do adult assessment. In the spreadsheet I also had columns for what date I contacted them and whether they'd responded. I started reaching out via email, one per day, with the form email I'd written.

The form email basically said "I'm 42 with no previous diagnosis but I have a family history of autism and dyslexia. I've been told I should get assessed for ADHD, so I'm looking for a clinic that will do the assessment and takes (my insurance). I prefer to be contacted by email but if need be, my phone number is (phone number). Please let me know if you have any open appointments and what information you will need from me to book an evaluation with you." (You can always ask for more information about the actual evaluation process once they respond.)

If I didn't get a response within 24 hours, I moved on to the next, but I only greyed out the text in that line of the spreadsheet; I didn't disqualify/remove the nonresponsive ones because again, I wanted to make sure I kept that information in case they eventually did respond. I did this with about ten clinics, because I figured I must be able to find at least one in ten who could do the eval, and I could go back and research more if necessary.

I think the third or fourth one I reached out to was the first to respond, and I ended up going with them; I had a very positive experience in the assessment itself but it was a real pain in the ass getting the documentation from them -- they took about a month to go through the evaluation data (this is not abnormal but is rather longer than usual according to my psychiatrist) and they gave me an in-person-by-zoom report once it was ready. That said, it took another four months and the threat of reporting them to the state to get them to send me the text of the eval (in part because the evaluator left the clinic unexpectedly with my formal report not yet written). But that's something that's truly impossible to know until you're working with them, and highly unusual, so don't let concerns about that deter you. If you end up in that situation come hit me up and I'll tell you how I dealt with that.

My eval recommended an executive function coach, but if I haven't been able to func it by now I never will, so I thanked them for the recommendation and went looking for a psychiatrist unaffiliated with the clinic to prescribe me meds. There, the key words you're going to be looking for are again "adult adhd" but also "adult disability" and if you want medication that's less likely to be a huge fucking hassle, "medication management". My psychiatrist and I meet every two months to reup my prescription, but he doesn't require me to take a regular drug test or meet him in person in order to get a new scrip, as some people have encountered. We meet in person once or twice a year (I can't remember, it's due to a legal requirement in Illinois) but otherwise it's over zoom.

So yeah -- it's a process, but there are ways to streamline and manage it, and a few tripwires in place to make sure you don't end up screwed by the system. Definitely feel free to ask if you have questions, either here or if you want a more indepth conversation you can email me at copperbadge@gmail.com. GOOD LUCK!

[greenwingss]

oh bey i think that the exposure theraly thing i am unintentionally doing its wirking. my bones dont itch quite as much:))

thats neough for today i. my bones itch/neg

[intersex-support]

hi! Im uhm kinda questioning if I might be intersex? I have hyperandrogenism and clitoromegaly as diagnosed conditions, but my doctors say they come from a genetic complication from my diabetes. I have a rare genetic mutation, which means I don't have type 1 or 2 type diabetes, but rather type A insulin resistant diabetes. Im not sure if that would mean I can't be intersex because I've only seen things about PCOS so far, but the term intersex comes up when ever i search up my conditions. I was assigned afab and seemed totally normal until puberty and started growing facial hair. It's not a lot but its noticeable. I just wanted to see if the term intersex may applie to me? Sorry if this seems like a dumb question.

Hi anon! It's not a dumb question.

So, I wasn't familiar with Type A insulin resistance before this question, but I did some research to become more familiar with it. And based on everything I learned, I do think that this is a diagnosis that could be considered an intersex variation. Like you shared, it causes hyperandrogenism and clitoromegaly, which are often intersex traits.

I like InterACT's definition of intersex: "a variation that:

shows up in a person’s chromosomes, genitals, gonads or other internal reproductive organs, or how their body produces or responds to hormones;

Differs from what society or medicine considers to be “typical” or “standard” for the development, appearance, or function of female bodies or male bodies; and

Is present from birth or develops spontaneously later in life."

I think that insulin resistance A would meet all those criteria: it's a variation in how your body produces or responds to hormones that differs from what society considers "standard" sex traits for those assigned female at birth, in a way that might bring stigma or discrimination, and it is a lifelong variation, not something temporarily caused by medication or something like a tumor. Insulin resistance A isn't usually listed on intersex variation lists, but I honestly think that's because it's rare enough that orgs just aren't aware of it, and hadn't thought to research it because diabetes in general isn't an intersex variation.

Ultimately, I think it's up to you--if you don't feel comfortable identifying as intersex you don't have to, but in my opinion, you're welcome to identify as intersex, and I think you'd find a lot of shared community with other intersex people who might experience similar symptoms or life experiences. If you wanted to start exploring intersex community spaces, I think you'd find a lot of people who would accept you. Your journey is your own journey and there's no timeline or pressure to do anything, but you absolutely would count as intersex from my perspective.

Please feel free to reach out if you have any other questions, and wishing you the best of luck, anon!

[myleelovesfood]

Say please pt. 4

Warnings: cussing.

Genre: angst, angst angst and you guessed it.. angst.

Authors note: you guys I might be able to write a little bit more since I’m free this weekend so we’ll see ;) and if you saw the draft I accidentally posted… no you didn’t.

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6 months! 6 entire months had gone by and I still hadn’t told Jey, I haven’t talked to Trinity or anyone associated with work for that matter. I was isolating myself away from the world and I still haven’t told my boss why I have been gone for so long. My phone was always on do not disturb so no one from work could reach me. I was just under loads of pressure and stress that I had completely forgotten about doctors appointment. I hurriedly put some clothes on grabbed my keys and rushed out of the door.

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Jey’s POV:

“Man Uce Im fr I legit think that the royal rumble might have something to do w-” before jimmy could finish his sentence Trinity came into the room looking stressed. “Damn bae what’s wrong witchu?” Jimmy asked with a look of concern and his voiced laced with a hint of playfulness. “Fantasia isn’t answering the phone still!” Trinity said to Jimmy. “Babe I think she still needs some time you know with what she has going on-” “but 6 Whole months!?” Trinity interrupted him again. “Woah woah back up what the fuck is wrong with Fantasia?” Jey asked a look of concern etched across his face. “She still hasn’t told you?” Trinity asked. “Told me what?” Jey said whilst picking up a water bottle. “I don’t think I can keep hiding this from him Trin and Fantasia isn’t gonna tell him anytime soon.” Jimmy said as he got up and went over to Trinity and she nodded. “Jey do you remember when you and Tasia hooked up on the night we all stayed at that hotel..?” She asked slowly. “Yeah why?” Jey asked while taking a sip of his water. “Fanny is pregnant Jey.” Jey chocked on his water. “Fantasia is what?!” Jey yelled. “Shhhhhh! She’s pregnant and we don’t know where she is it’s been 6 months since I last saw her!” Trinity said. “What the fuck do you mean you haven’t seen her in six months?!” Jey yelled. “I gotta go. Now.” Jey said while he grabbed his keys and his jacket. “Wait we’re coming too!” Jimmy said as he grabbed his jacket and Trinity did the same rushing out the door and into Jeys car. “How could you guys not get into contact with her in 6 whole months?! She’s pregnant for crying out loud!” Jey yelled as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I’ve been trying it’s like she blocked me or her phone is on Do not Disturb!” Trinity said in the back seat while jimmy tried calming Jey down. “Aye chill uce it’s cool we’ll find her.” He said. Jey couldn’t focus on his words his mind was running wild with thoughts on how you’re doing and if the baby is ok. Sooner than later they made it to Fanny’s house and Jey banged on the door. “Fanny! Baby it’s me please open the door!” He yelled. “I don’t think anyone’s home Jey her car isn’t in the driveway.” Trinity said but Jey ignored her words. He looked under the mat for any key and he found the one I left under there in case of an emergency. He picked it up and unlocked the door and started raiding the house for Fanny and soon everyone was around the big house calling her name and looking for her.

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Meanwhile..

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Things at the doctors office wasn’t looking so well for Fantasia either. “Ms Nicole I’m ready for you.” Dr Warren said peeping her head out of her room. I stood up and headed for the door to the room. Once inside she checked my heart beat and a bunch of other things to make sure that me and the baby were ok and after those check ups she sat me down. “You ready to know the sex?” She said with a smile on her face. “Yeah it’s not like I’m throwing a party anyway.” I laughed it off. “Ok and she’s a girl.” Dr Warren said with a smile but soon it faded. “That’s amazing why do you look so down is she ok?” I asked concern etched across my face. “Yes she’s fine but you aren’t. Fantasia I’m diagnosing you with Preeclampsia it’s pretty common in pregnant woman and in your case if you have this baby you may die.” She said with a deep unreadable expression on her face. I was taken aback by her shocking news. “I-I don’t know what to say..I’ll die after I have my baby?” I asked. “That is if you choose to have her-” “of course. I’ll do it.” I said a look of pain and bravery laced in my voice. “Fantasia are you sure?” She said. “Yes ma’am I’m positive. And if there isn’t anything else I need to get home.” I said as I slowly got up and off on the chair I was sitting on and dr Warren was quick to help me. “Fantasia you are a Dear friend of mine. Imagine how many people you’ll hurt if you do this!” She said. “I know Luna and it’ll all be worth it as long as my baby girl lives.” I looked at her with a consoling expression as I watched the tears run down her face. “Shhhh don’t cry it’s ok.” I hugged her. “It’s gonna be ok. I promise.” I said soothing her. I’ve gotta get home Luna but I promise I won’t be late for my check up next week!” I said while grabbing my things and blowing her a kiss. “Bye Fantasia and promise you won’t be late!” She yelled and I playfully waved my hand while walking to my car. Once inside that was when I could let all of my emotions out. I cried until my throat felt sore. I called my momma and asked her if I could come over to her house and spend a couple of nights over and of course she said yes. I pulled out of the offices driveway and started my route to home so I could pack my bags.

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Meanwhile with Trinity, Jey and Jimmy.

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“We’ve searched top to bottom Uce. She’s not here.” Jimmy said to his twin hoping he’ll listen to him. “We could come back tomorrow but I think we should leave.” Trinity said with a consoling look on her face. “Yeah I guess you guys are right let’s get up outta here.” Jey said as he grabbed his keys and the extra one and locked the door and slipped that key back under the mat before leaving. And about five minutes after they left Fantasia was back home and packing clothes up for her moms. She packed sweaters shoes toiletries and a more outfits, after she did she grabbed her keys and left the house again.

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“Momma?! I yelled from the entrance. “Come on in baby! It’s so cold out there!” My mom yelled from the kitchen. “Oh my! Are you hungry did you eat you know you’re carrying my grand baby so you’ve got to eat something!” She hurriedly spoke. “I am pretty hungry mom but not right now I just need a shower please.” I said exhaustion in my tone as I threw my bags on the couch. My mom and sisters were the only people I had been talking to since I last seen Trinity or Jey or anyone. “Ok well you get comfortable and I’m gonna make you some broccoli and shrimp Alfredo.” She said as she whipped out a bunch of pots and pans. “Thanks mommy and is Francesca here?” I say referring to my little sister. “She should be upstairs so you can go say hi to her.” My mom said as she boiled the water for the pasta. “I slowly walked up the stairs and headed to my little sisters room. “Knock knock!” I say as I open the door and see my sister braiding her hair. “Fantasia!” She squealed as she ran up to me and hugged me. “Hi bug! Where’s Florence?” I asked referring to my other little sister. “She’s in the shower she’ll be out in a second.” She says as she goes back to her vanity to finish braiding her hair. “I need one too so I’ll just take one downstairs.” I say as I close her door and grab my pajamas so I could shower. After my much needed shower I talked to my other sister Florence and we all came downstairs and ate dinner together. After dinner we all cuddled up on the couch and watched movies together for the rest of the night.

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How was I going to tell them..?

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THE END☹️

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OK BUT LISTEN THIS TOOK FOREVER 😒

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Credits to the owners of all pictures these aren’t mine!

I do not allow my work to be taken copied or translated on any other platform including this one!

Likes, comments and reblogs are MOST appreciated 💋

[olderthannetfic]

Oh great, everyone is all in on the ~all the kids who think they have DID are wrroooong~ thing.

Im sorry but none of you saying that are helping the community or plural folks as a whole. Even if you are also a system or have a CDD.

For DID *alone* the barrier to diagnosis is very high- arguably as high as Autism and according to one study it takes an average of 10 years in therapy to be diagnosed because so many doctors are ill-informed or refuse to diagnose it/believe it exists despite all the evidence due to the shadow of the satanic panic. The goddamn REASON people are diagnosed in their 30s and 40s isnt because you *need* to wait that long its because they look for horses before zebras and refuse to do anything else most of the time and fuck us over!!! Many of us report symptoms -the same fucking symptoms- since teen&young adult age or earlier!!!

The diagnosis has many of the same drawbacks of any other major diagnosis like autism and schizospec stuff where you can lose custody of children or the ability to adopt, face unofficial discrimination from doctors or employers or people you try to get accommodations from with it, and could even have your drivers license taken away or have to jump through hoops to keep it- and more issues!

Pursuing a paper diagnosis is not for everyone and the plural community for decades has been built on this- even before the exclusion criteria were added to the DSM and ICD that kicked a huge chunk of us of us off even getting one despite being systems (which is a good thing to be clear! If its not impairing or distressing it shouldnt be pathologized!). We have folk therapy and dyi resources and we have a lot of them for a reason.

And thats not even getting into how therapy has historically severely abused our community and how the only accepted treatment path is pursuing the fusion into one person (which has a hilariously low success rate that for anything else wouldnt be accepted as a vaild treatment) and not everyone wants that or is helped by that.

Most of us are never going to be ABLE see useful therapy or a paper dx, so we use the community to find resources and community and it FUCKING WORKS. We built our community with our own blood, sweat, and tears because no one else could or would fucking help us. And it WORKS.

Attacking these people who self-dx ONLY ever causes splash damage on the very people this kind of behavior claims to protect.

And like. If someone reports an autonomous entity that talks in their mind and takes over their body sometimes its... rather obvious they belong in the 'having an autonomous entity that talks in your mind and takes over your body sometimes' community regardless of anything else. NB4 people say psychosis; Schneiderian First-Rank symptoms are actually more indicative of DID than schizophrenia in this manner according to studies- but schizospec people with persistent personlike voices are known to benefit from the same exercises you'd do if they were ''''real'''' alters and are included in the plural community anyway (which btw doesnt require a dx- calling yourself plural or a system is not self diagnosing its an identity label the community created OUTSIDE of diagnosis criteria FOR this very purpose of self-ID).

While yes, we would agree many people say DID For Sure when they might want to hesitate there- we do NOT doubt they are plural. We just wonder if they were told the ONLY way they could be plural/a system is through DID and that is why they are saying they have it. Which... yeah thats not so great. HOWEVER informed self-dx is fine provided they havent been fed that kind of misinformation.

The solution there though is to just spread the real information about the breadth of plural experiences and people will feel less pressured. Simple as that.

Never EVER telling them its really just something else, you dont know yourself- you cant know something that extreme when something that extreme is EASIER to tell tbh because its such a unique and intense experience.

--

[cripplecharacters]

im not physically disabled, but i want to write disabled characters in my story i have a character who use wheelchair, and i like to ask should i provide a reason why the character use wheelchair since from what i hear many characters using wheelchair doesnt have their condition specified and often referred as "legs dont work syndrome" so i want to avoid the "legs dont work syndrome" by specifying the character's condition.

Hey,

I think it's always good to establish a character's disability (assuming they're not like a one-off NPC or something). Depending on whether they're the POV character or someone that the MC talks to once in a while or someone in between the two, you will probably want to provide a different amount of detail.

If you have access to the character's thoughts, they might simply think about their disability when they Experience a Symptom or think of something in the past that was related to it, and you can drop the name in there (e.g., “that was right after the doctor diagnosed me with spastic hereditary paraplegia”, or whatever). But if it's some side character, they might just make a single remark about what their exact disability is - maybe they're going through some rough terrain in an all-terrain wheelchair and mention that when they were born with spina bifida in the 60s, they didn't think technology like this would come along. You have a lot of options that don't necessarily have to end up being a detailed explanation of the disability.

What I think is more important, though, is that you know what their disability is and actually understand how it works. Because that's really where the “leg don't work” syndrome comes from - writers who think they know what paraplegia is while never having read a single thing on it. There's magically no pain, no bladder problems, no physical therapy, no spasms, no autonomic dysreflexia, no temperature regulation problems, their Legs Just Don't Work! How convenient.

If you manage to show how their disability affects them and have it make sense for what their disability is, you will avoid the “leg don't work” trope regardless if you name-drop the specifics (though I still think it's good to drop it in-writing). So do your research, establish symptoms, how they deal with them, what aids they use to do that, and make sure it's based on facts rather than what you think is correct - because this thinking is the culprit behind the trope in the first place. You can also take a look at this post.

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[etherealspacejelly]

ok really hoping someone can help me out with this because its a bit weird. first of all, important data:

ok heres the deal. for most of my life, every time i have walked or stood up for more than 20-30 minutes, my feet hurt. not uncomfortable, PAINFUL. like pressing on a bruise painful. if i walk/stand for more than 3-4 hours its a SHARP pain like blisters, except there are no blisters and none form later (unless my shoes were rubbing or something, which if im wearing my usual trainers they dont)

I always thought this was normal and that everyone just grits their teeth through pain to do fun stuff like go to a zoo or a museum or a theme park. but i told my dad about it recently after a day out and he was like "what the fuck go to a doctor thats not normal my feet only feel uncomfortable right now they dont Hurt"

so i want to know how common this is. does anyone else get this? and what might be causing it?

information that may or may not be significant, just including it in case any of it is relevant to a condition i havent heard of:

i am diagnosed with adhd and working on an autism diagnosis

i am hypermobile (not diagnosed yet but. my neck and arms definitely hyper extend, and ive been able to touch the floor without bending my knees my whole life without stretching regularly, so i know i am)

my hands swell up in extreme temperatures. expecially if im exercising at the same time. i used to have to get other people to do up my shirt buttons after PE in school because i couldnt bend my fingers enough to do them myself

i bruise very easily. my brother likes to poke and prod me to get on my nerves and if he pokes just a little too hard, i bruise. also scratching my leg through my trousers causes me to bruise

i get friction pains on my hands if im doing something like carrying a heavy bag with a cloth handle or opening a tight jar

i have very dry skin and suffered from excema as a child/teenager

i have been looking into EDS and i think i might have hEDS, so idk if any of this is related to that. my dad also thought the foot pain might be an autism sensory issues thing?

if anyone can relate to any of this please tell me about your experiences and what causes it because that would be super helpful

thank you

[wolfertinger]

mainly speaking into the void here but as someone with hypomanic episodes (bipolar type 2) that have turned into full blown mania wis needs to ask a doctor to prescribe her a anti-psychotic or something if her jokes about being manic (and the following anons on this blog taking note of her self description) are accurate. a daily/nightly or PRN doesnt matter she just clearly needs to be medicated if whats going on is truly mania. personally i have my antis as both a nightly and then a smaller dose for a PRN if something goes wrong. i brushed it off as her over exaggerating or simply having mild symptoms of it (like what you see with bpd-not a full blown episode but bursts of mania) before but now i am getting legitimately concerned.

i cant bring myself to try and piece together if her assumed mania last a week-bare minimum for a manic episode- or 4 days-bare minimum for hypomanic-but this is getting to the point where she should be trying to track how long these bouts last. even if i could care enough to try and figure it out and try to do something somehow to get her to look for the help she would need if shes having episodes it would probably be a false negative. i dont know her and i know very well that if its more hypomania specifically that it can be very easy to not only mask towards others but miss entirely as the person experiencing it until the energy crash hits. if wis is reading this i dont like, i dont like thinking about about you, but i geuinely think if you are feeling this manic this often you should try and get on some sort of medication to help bring you down. getting a diagnosis for bipolar type 1 is also far easier if what you are experiencing is only pure mania and not hypomania but it still might be a struggle. actually getting some sort of medication may be difficult without a diagnosis but if you have anxiety there are PRNs for panic and anxiety attacks that would work for (hypo)mania as well. even if i dont like you i can still wish that you dont continue to just struggle through this-especially knowing how much it can make you degrade as a person if you leave it unchecked. the anger and irritability makes it hard to regulate anything. if anyone who talks to her reads this please suggest it as well. i am fully aware this may never reach her and im fine with that but seeing it constantly get brought up is just. its making me want to see her get better on some level even if i dont like her enough due to her recent behaviour to say this without feeling annoyed at myself. i am frustrated with myself for even typing this but it feels too urgent to just say nothing. maybe somehow shell get help if i say something somewhere-even if i dont like how saying it to someone, anyone at all, makes me feel.

^

what people do not understand about mania, is that it is not the "positive experience", in comparison to a depressive episode. it is at times scary, and at least in my experience, lasts a significant amount of time, in which i am in an altered state. again. i am not armchair diagnosing wis. but having people who ACTUALLY care for you, and actually have a backbone, is vital. if salem cannot talk her down from going back, time and time again. she needs better support, and accountability.

eta: i wish to say as well. even if wis is/was manic. it does NOT excuse her actions, whatsoever. if this is one big episode, and she is truly in an altered state, she must still take accountability for her words and actions. mental illness, does NOT make one racist, transphobic, or supportive of rapist. those are personal choices, of wis.

[transmutationisms]

hi again dear, hope you're doing good. i appreciated your response to a previois ask, i like your insights in general, and i wonder, do you have any sort of formed opinion about meditation/mindfulness as treatment for mental distress? i have very intense emotions (diagnosed as bpd/cptsd) as many do, and meditation/mindfulness, which is part of dbt tratment as you may know, did help me reduce panic lately (i've been panicking a lot after a breakup); overall so-cslled dissensitization/"mood managing" practices are, from what i have googled, highly praised to an apparent point of can't ever go wrong, no possible negative side-effects, almost kind of miraculous status: helps everyone with everything, no notes. and so its very real and common adverse effects are underreported and neglected because there not usually fatal, so you are not legaly obliged to report them. there seems to be a rush for finally discovering a natural, organic, spiritual simple practice as solution for all sorts of mental "disorders" - "the west medicine [ie. 'western rarionality'] finally found eastern spirituality", we've been hearing for some 15 years. christ. for example, some very, very common (including to me!) but nearly not talked enough about/disturbing to experience adverse effects are emotional "numbness", apathy and dissociation (most specifically depersonalization/derealization). people in forums seem to be desperate: "HELP: HOW TO STOP THINKING"; seems like the very concepts of thinking, day-dreaming, desire, needs, have all become enemies of a "ultimate experience of life"; but then people report feeling quite empty and are mostly told "once you accept the void, you will find true enlightment". well, i've been panicking considerably less indeed, but in parallel feel less and less joy as well! and when i try to reach for help or research about this uncomfortable or down right disfunctional side effects, what i basically find is 100,00 versions of "well, it's because you're not doing it right"/"mindfulness is perfect, actually. it cures everything. keep practicing and you'll see eventually". but, to me, it only makes sense: if you train yourself to indefference, you will feel less fear, yes! and less joy as well. i might be in the wrong here, which is fine. i'm open to all opinions and i am rather curious, but, honestly, i would so much appreciate as well if just one person tells me i'm not crazy lol! like, this pedestal we've put meditation on might be very dangerous in my perception? and very little people try to bring attention to that? since it can easily trigger dissociation or even psychosis. and, hell, just the world "dessensibilization" sounds terrifying to me! why is it so popular and desired? i *wanna* feel things! so, are we dessesibilizing en mass just so intense/aggressive/mad people "behave"? what's your take? ps. sorry for such a long ask and about my english, wish you the best always. take care

yeah i don't think meditation is either a cure-all or totally without risk, any more than any other mode of thinking would be. like obviously there are different practices under the heading of meditation/mindfulness so im sure someone will tell you to try a different one but, i have also read that meditation isn't really recommended (like by professional societies; doctors may still be reccing it lol) for a lot of people prone to dissociation, i think basically for the reason you outline here. so i definitely don't think you're totally off base. i think meditation also just kind of varies by practitioner, like i don't think everyone who does it experiences it as distancing them from their feelings but if that's the effect it has on you, i think that's worth taking seriously & also doesn't necessarily indicate you're doing it 'wrong' or something—like it might just be a technique that some people find unhelpful or even harmful. i do understand why some patients and practitioners gravitate toward it if they don't want to try prescription drugs or whatever but you're certainly right that some of these people are just preaching it as a panacea. it has its own victim blaming logic to it as well when it's prescribed that way, like you should be able to just talk yourself out of whatever's bothering you. like i think for many people it's worth a shot to see if it helps as a self-soothing technique if nothing else. but you're certainly not the only person who's ever found it unpleasant, and i think that needs to be an acceptable answer when a practitioner suggests it lol