#like yes it's mature and it's bittersweet and it's actually beautiful and true that they stayed friends i understand this now. i did not

[lonesomedotmp3]

"winnie left the next summer to study art history in paris; still we never forgot our promise. we wrote to each other once a week for eight years. I was there to meet her when she came home... with my wife and my first son" YEAHHH THIS WAS IT I REMEMBER IT VIVIDLY. this shit had me screaming and crying and throwing up as a child like what do you MEAN they're not happily together forever what the fuck!!!

[ghost-bison]

Some of my favourite Doctor Who fanfiction (mostly One Shots)

Drawing Nearer by Geat (Ninth Doctor/reader, Ninth Doctor & reader) on AO3

This author understands the beauty of Nine like no one else does. Like fuck. Wow. If you want something immersive and soft and beautiful this is the one. Actually, even if you don't, this is the one. You need it in your life believe me. And! If you're into the Tenth Doctor instead, or just want more of the amazing stuff after you finish the first one, there's a sequel to it, Like One of My French Girls?, which explores the same prompt (reader drawing a portrait of the Doctor) with a freshly regenerated Tenth Doctor. Which is really clever and witty so you should read it as well.

Immolation by songofdefiance (Donna Noble & Twelfth Doctor, feat. Bill Potts) on AO3

This one is what would happen if the writers were geniuses. It's a whole episode and holy shit it doesn't matter who your favorite characters are: it's for everyone. It's so smart I felt like an idiot reading it. (and yes the 1k words comment on there is me lmao don't judge me I was just very enthusiastic)

Children of the Time War series by illyriashade56 (Donna Noble & Tenth Doctor) on AO3

There's a reason I've read so many fics from this author. Had trouble picking a favorite, and still can't, but this one deserves whatever publicity I can give it. It's got it all. Holy crap. Hurt/Comfort, nice Donna whump, amazing descriptions, solid plot, and you know what's good? Once you're done reading this one, you can check her account and read another one cause they're all so good. I haven't read part three yet cause I'm keeping it for a perfect night (do y'all do this as well or is it just me? anyways lol, some fanfics are just so good that I need to shower, change my bed sheets, make a playlist and clean my room before reading them) (also the author is nice and I'm referring you to her account if you want to check more of her stuff: @illyriashade56)

Run (To A New Beginning) by Topaz_Eyes (Donna Noble/Tenth Doctor) on AO3

Just like the previous one, I had trouble picking just one from this author. The sex scenes dont seem to exist just out of horniness, they're really, really good, funny, witty and moving in a way I can't explain. The author has a way with words, it feels like you're in the story (so if you're horny for Donna Noble this is the one for you). And if you don't like explicit scenes, still check out the author, they've got some other amazing stuff! Like a bittersweet, sort of fix-it for Donna's ending (Journey's End).

The Awesome and Entirely True Tale of the Doctor's New Companion by TheBigCat (Donna Noble/Ninth Doctor) on AO3

Honestly this one slaps on all aspects and that's all I have to say. You need to read it. And when you have, you need to read it again.

Stress Fracture by Youth_of_Australia (Donna Noble & Twelfth Doctor) on AO3

I wasn't expecting to love this one so much when I clicked on it. The author specifically says they don't like Twelve and that's their bitter take on him. So you'd expect it to be Twelve slander, but actually, and I'm saying that as a big Twelve fan... it's surprisingly accurate. It's a mature, well-thought take, in the point of view of Donna, it bathes in the remains of TenDonna's friendship in bittersweet ways and it's beautiful and sad and nostalgic.

The Greeting-Card Aisle by twelvedimensional (Donna Noble & Ninth Doctor) on AO3

Pissed myself reading this one (all three times), cause it's so real. This author knows what they're doing. Take Nine and Donna, put them in a room together and that's certainly what's gonna happen. And believe me, the result is side-splitting.

Constructive Criticism by goldenrod (Donna Noble/Ninth Doctor) on AO3

A very sexy take on Donna and Nine as traveling companions. Nine only has eyes for Donna and her boobies (as he should). Oh, and it's sassy and hilarious.

Creature Fear by goodbye2pisces (Donna Noble/Tenth Doctor, Donna Noble & Tenth Doctor) on AO3

This one could very well be canon. I need it as an audio book. It's cute, funny, there's a bit of Donna/Ten whump, it can be read as platonic or romantic, and it has the most adorable little epilogue.

Think Outside the Box by TheAsexualofSpades (Tenth Doctor & kid!reader) on AO3

Basically if you love Ten but don't wanna fuck him, if you had a rough day and no one's around for a hug, if you grew up with emotionally distant parents, or if you simply need to have a good crybaby moment, this one's for you.

I'm On Fire by TheDarkMaterial (Donna Noble/River Song, Donna Noble & River Song) on AO3

Just like the last one, this one's kinda like a warm blanket. It's short, it's healing, it might make you cry nice little tears... also idc it's canon to me.

Appetites by EllyF (Donna Noble & Tenth Doctor) on whofic.com

This one is hard to read because it's very graphic on the Ten whump, but... it's fucking worth it. Trust. Me. Jfc. It's Hurt/Comfort so don't worry for yourself, but the angst is real, the gore is terrific, there are some horrible comparisons in there that will absolutely draw some tears, and the frustration will be real, but when you're done with it, you'll be like Wow. Wtf did I just read.

Only Human by Louiecat68 (Donna Noble/Tenth Doctor) on whofic.com

If you're looking for Donna whump, search no more: this is the place. This one's pretty graphic, pretty horrible, Donna's going through it in all possible ways and you'll want to wrap her in a blanket, feed her burgers and hot chocolate and burn the world down around her. Quite literally.

The Doctor is In by crystanagahori (Martha Jones & Tenth Doctor, Martha Jones & Donna Noble, Donna Noble/Tenth Doctor) on AO3

This one's funny and so sweet and you have no trouble reading it in the characters' voices cause it's faithful to all three of them. I don't read Martha fics usually, I only clicked cause I saw TenDonna, but even if you're like me, you'll have no problem reading it even when it focuses on Martha's life, believe me. The vibe's just immaculate.

Your Eyes Aren't Rivers by ClementineCrane & Multifandomfuckfest (Donna Noble/Tenth Doctor) on AO3

Another one where the vibe's immaculate! Basically one of the things that made me want to write a Doctor Who High School AU of my own. Ten and Donna are absolutely adorable in this.

I'm tagging some people who'd probably be interested in one/some of those:

@bobcatblahs

@madhatter0309

@doctordonnasstuff

@brisingr-sword

@peggysbundy

@doctor-donnaa

@daze-stole-ur-milk

@obsessedanddepressed

@doctordonna-protection-squad

@jellojellyroll

@basmathgirl

@illyriashade56

@ichangemyusertoomuch

@tatennant

@paradox-n-bedrock

@cdyssey

@love-in-the-time

@davidtennan-t

@rushinintolove

@whatsfourteenupto

@nat-20s

@thegingergoddess

@odakota-rose

If some of you read/have read one or several of those and wanna interact feel free to dm me :)

[saintsenara]

hyped by the @hprecfest, because it's always nice to have an excuse to squeal about the amazing writing in this fandom. and the time i've spent reading it...

day one: favourite fics under 5k words

the ballad of judas iscariot by eldritcher severus snape/lord voldemort mature | 2.9k words

why i recommend it:

because it's the perfect characterisation of my ultimate otp - a brave, feral snape whose betrayal of voldemort [weighed down by the long shadow of catholic guilt, which is relatable of him...] actually means something - told in spare, beautiful prose:

it was unlikely that lucius could contribute any advice to my problem. i was planning to betray a madman who wanted to kill a newborn babe. that i happened to fiercely love said madman contributed complexity to the case.

beautiful enough for the both of us by dirgewithoutmusic lavender brown/parvati patil general | 2.2k words

why i recommend it:

because it's an exquisite demonstration of what love actually is - not the grand sacrifices to save the world which harry gets up to in canon, but the bittersweet tenderness of choosing each other despite everything.

lavender didn’t remember, because she never remembered– she didn’t recall the cellar door unlocking and opening after ten minutes of post-moonrise silence. she didn’t recall parvati wingardium leviosa-ing a comfy chair down the stairs, or her sitting down and pulling out a stack of witch weeklys, nor did she remember curling up on parvati’s fuzzy button slippers and going to sleep.

but she did remember waking up in the morning, her cheek pressed into a soft pillow. she was tattered under a thick blanket, but she was human and looking upward at parvati’s slack, sleeping face. her dark plaits tumbled, curling, over the soft pink polka dots of her pajamas.

mortal coil by mckay the bloody baron/severus snape teen | 3.6k words

why i recommend it:

because what life must be like for the hogwarts ghosts - year after year stretching out before them - is something i love seeing explored in fics, and this does a remarkable job of linking the monotony of the bloody baron's existence to the loneliness and grief of snape's own. plus, it is, in its own little way, a story of true love:

"why weren't you afraid of me?" he asked, gathering that boy in his arms. he really would have to remember to start using his name; he couldn't very well call him "that boy" for the rest of eternity.

"you know why."

"yes, i suppose i do."

for everything a season by @broomsticks marge dursley/dolores umbridge general | 300 words

why i recommend it:

because i love to see middle-aged butch representation:

summer had seen marge growl “i’m never getting married — ever —” and drop the top of her convertible and floor the accelerator. dolores, who’d always loathed quidditch, had thrown her face up to the scorching sun, let the wind whip through her hair.

in the arms of the ocean by writcraft sirius black/james potter mature | 2.1k words

why i recommend it:

because i love prongsfoot and its inherent tragedy, and the growing horror as you realise where this piece is going - even in so few words - is visceral:

even on a cold autumn morning, everything about james reminds me of summertime. he’s tanned, warm and restless. he uses shampoo which smells like coconuts. it reminds me of that time in brighton, when the pebbles were hot with sunshine and smooth and hard beneath our feet. we ran into the sea while the waves crashed over us. i pushed him, and he pushed me back until we were both laughing like we’d never stop, and his kisses tasted like ocean spray.

[squibstress]

HP Rec Fest -- Day 9

Prompt 8: A rarepair fic @hprecfest

The Art of Preservation

Pairing: Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank/Minerva McGonagall

Creator: yletylyf

Rating: K/G

Word Count: 2,000

Summary:

Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank agrees to help rebuild after the war. She's happy to do so, actually. She just wishes she could do it in a place other than that occupied by her old flame, Minerva McGonagall.

Why You Should Read It:

I have @kellychambliss to thank for turning me on to the joys of Minerva/Wilhelmina, which are on abundant display here.

This fic is such a great portrait of the aftermath of a relationship gone wrong–painful, beautiful, and just plain awkward at moments. And then the denouement... so lovely.

This Wilhelmina is wonderful–all the ambivalence is delicious. So brave with the dangerous creatures, and so not when it comes to facing Minerva.

Love Is a Battlefield

Pairing: Dudley/Firenze

Creator: @lash_larue

Rating: M/R

Word Count: 11,575

Summary:

Dudley Dursley is not a common man, he has his preferences and his principles, and he lives by the rules, always. The rules, however, are his own.

Why You Should Check It Out:

Boxing as foreplay! Dudley redeemed! Believable human/centaur relations that stay true to the canon depictions of centaurs! Yes, the author managed it all and more in this wonderful story.

Safe as Houses

Characters: Dedalus Diggle, Dudley Dursley, Hestia Jones, Mundungus Fletcher, Petunia Dursley (née Evans), Vernon Dursley

Pairing: Hestia/Mundungus

Creator: wwmrsweasleydo

Rating: T/PG-13

Word Count: 7,000

Summary: As if it wasn't bad enough babysitting ill-tempered Muggles, now Diggle's turned up with someone Hestia finds most unpleasant.

Why You Should Check It Out:

"Safe As Houses" has some of my favorite elements: missing moments from canon (what happens to the Dursleys after they leave Privet Drive), nicely filled out portraits of intriguing characters we only meet briefly in canon (Hestia, Dedalus, Mundungus), and surprising but believable developments in the relationshps between some of the characters.

Sunlight in the Garden

Pairing: Alice Longbottom/Pomona Sprout

Creator: lyras

Rating: M/R

Warning: References to the emotional fallout of the attack on the Longbottoms; references to memory loss

Word Count: 4,300

Summary:

Pomona hasn't seen Neville since he was a baby, but the moment he steps into her greenhouse, the past begins chasing her down.

Why You Should Check It Out:

"Sunlight in the Garden" is a deeply shaded fic featuring Pomona/Alice Longbottom, with lots of bittersweetness and a finish that made me sigh in delight. I espeically love the Pomona here—she's loyal (of course) and fierce in her own quiet way. I defy you not to love her.

The Vultures of Love

Pairings: Argus/Irma, Minerva/Severus

Creator: dueltastic

Rating: T/PG-13

Word Count: 13,000

Summary:

No author summary given, but fic pairs Minerva/Severus and Argus/Irma, and shows some of Severus' interactions with his mother.

Why You Should Check It Out:

What can I say? It's perfect Minerva/Severus, as far as I'm concerned: tenderness wrapped in the unsentimental, competetive, often snide package these two make. It features a Severus who grows from uncertain young man to confident lover and a Minerva who is recognizably older, more mature, but with a touch of human insecurity. It also features a Filch who is gloriously realized as a character with all his warts intact (like Severus) but also a few surprises. We also get to meet Eileen Prince and get a hint about where Severus got some of his good and bad qualities. A nifty little twist wraps this fic up in a pretty wonderful package.

[fairyqueentitana]

Beast World Fanfiction Recommendations on Wattpad.

You all know you have read at least one do not lie to yourselves.

1)Tripped into the Beast world by _lmaoidkwhoiam_ (WIP) 60 Chapter

" Every female needs a male to protect her from feral beasts and other dangers, I'm a feral. I could snap your pretty little neck right now " " Try it and I'll just cut through your throat, If you don't wanna die while killing me, totally not recommended " Ever found yourself chilling on top of tree while you're going to school? No? Well then, you're totally not the main character. And being one is totally not recommended.

2) Imara Diversifies The Beastmen World by PurpleDepp (WIP) 119 Chapters.

After an accident, Imara, a 28-year-old plus-size black woman, ends up in a strange rainforest world from a bittersweet novel she read. This wild jungle is full of mysterious and dangerous beastmen, just like the stories she used to read.

To stay alive, Imara has to carefully plan her every move as she tries to find love, family, and friends in this strange place. With each step, she becomes tougher and learns to protect herself from the mysteries lurking in the beastmen world.

Imara's journey is like a tricky dance, a skilful way of staying alive among different groups of friends and foes.

Her story is about figuring out how to survive in a captivating but wild world where danger and strategy are always tangled together, like vines in an endless battle for control.

This is a mature book, but the smut isn't the main component of the story or plot. 3) Rewriting Bai Qingqing's Beastworld Story by Rotten-Aunt(WIP) 56 Chapters

Remember that 16-year-old Female Lead who's always indecisive and unadaptable, in 'that' Beastworld Story? Ꮚ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ꈊ⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠Ꮚ Yes!!! That one! What if a 48-year-old retired Model and Artist was placed in that situation instead? ಠ⁠﹏⁠ಠ No! She won't grind flour, cook or farm vegetables. Let her powerful and hot mates do those laborious jobs. ♪⁠～⁠(⁠'⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠) She needs her beauty sleep and practice her acting skills to hunt down her favourite MLs instead. Honestly, guys this one is one of my favourites the author is currently on a much-needed sabbatical but her work is great outside of this story she has two more that I also enjoy. 4)The Beauty's Hidden Beast by ChubbyLiv(WIP) 86 Chapters.

In a twist that not even Yaya could have predicted, she's suddenly smack in the middle of Nivi's latest obsession: a world brimming with beast-men. No, not just your average hairy dudes, but handsome men with actual animal features.

Determined to navigate this bizarre reality with her sanity intact, Yaya hatches a plan as pragmatic as her wardrobe: rehome these too-good-to-be-true "book husbands" to the one person who's always dreamed of such romances─Nivi─her best friend.

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNINGS ⚠️

Yaya and Her Males: The relationship between Yaya and her future males will be far from an idyllic love story. Instead of healing each other wounds, they might just be opening new ones. It will get better along the way, I think… I hope.

I'm here to present you a story, not a lecture on how to be a decent human. Feel free to criticize and judge my characters, whether in your mind or through the comments. If you spread awareness in my stead, that would be even more awesome, hehe.

Yaya vs. BQQ: If you thought BQQ set the bar for treating her males shitty, wait until you meet YY. You'll know what I mean once you dive into this novel. Feel free to form your own opinions about her─whether it's disdain, frustration, or outright disbelief. Defend your biases, embrace your reactions, and let out your inner rage, rawr.

Yaya: Her purpose isn't to be relatable. Not for me, not for you, not for anyone. But, feel free to explore her thought pattern and see the world through an entirely different lens.

Yaya vs. Nivi: Someone mentioned that Yaya needs Jesus, lol. In Yaya's world, Nivi is her Jesus.

I'll only recommend these four as they are all the ones I have read on Wattpad that I am willing to share with others. I hope you all enjoy these and if you get hooked well welcome to the abyss.

[absolutebl]

quick pitch

Blueming - 9/10

Korea - March 2022 - iQIYI 

Main Tropes: enemies to lovers (sort of), coming of age, self worth and self acceptance, lonely prince, sunshine/tsundere 

Adapted from a college-set webtoon, Who Can Define Popularity, and directed by our queen Hwang Da Seul (Where Your Eyes Linger, To My Star) who historically hasn’t had great out-the-gate distribution but Korea’s NEW Film (AKA Next Entertainment World) BL division (yes it has one) announced a massive partnership deal working with Raemongraein (distributor), Kenaz Translations (subs & captions), Myung Films, and GoGo Studio to maximize local and overseas reach prior to Bleuming’s which may or may not have had something to do with it showing up in full on iQiYI for VIP members. 

Do you have an umbrella?

No but I have a boyfriend, and that’s kind of the same thing.

The BL equivalent of pockets for het couples.  

Honestly I wasn’t sure about this going in, and I’m still not entirely in love with it. It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for my liking. Not enough of a BL fantasy. 

I found the main character, SiWon, pretty unlikable for the first half of the series - even with a believable backstory guiding his superficial behavior. Even knowing that the way he acts covers up insecurities. I would’ve like to see the director take strides to SHOW US the things that DaUn later says he admires about SiWon - kindness, cuteness, softness with perhaps more gentle treatment of his sister? Even his mother? As True Beauty did. 

As is often the case with an unlikable uke, I’m not sure why the seme is courting him at all. (See my problems with the first few eps of Secret Crush On You, too.) 

DaWoon’s backstory of lonely prince is a bit too typical to the romance genre but it makes for a good contrast to SiWon’s warm, if superficial and slightly dysfunctional, family life. Sunshine to cover pain is a solid archetype. 

Both leads turn in solid performances and by ep 5 this show turned the corner and got really good… for me. The bad guy was really well drawn, all of the characters and portrayals we dealt with honestly and were super believable. Every character was flawed in a different way and I liked that. So this became a narrative about understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them, and there is nothing wrong with that message. 

Korea gave us decent kisses (2022 is the year Korean boys learned how to kiss each other… apparently, I blame the unexpected popularity of To My Star last year). There was even an elegant, and very Korean, sex scene. Not to mention a nice mature apology and makeup sequence. So that, for me, I found the ending quite satisfying. 

Ultimately what this show showed us was two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection. And that affection was never itself the conflict point (coming out or being gay isn’t really addressed - again, normal for Korea). Instead conflict was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. 

In the end, I actually really liked Blueming, it’s a solid BL. As is expected of Korea, there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, but production values are a touch lower than usual. 

I was delighted that it had a longer treatment than most, it has about a 3 hour run time, which really allowed the characters time to grow. And also grow on me. 

I think I have to give it a 9/10. 

ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED 

(source) 

[namjhyun]

REVIEW | Love Alarm season 2

*WARNING SPOILERS*

I find myself underwhelmed by the ending of Love Alarm. I thought the first season had done a really good job building the world and set the juxtaposition between digital and analog to perfection. I was hoping, with Jo-jo finally wanting to pursue a relationship properly, we would see our characters grow into realizing they don't need an app to tell them who they love. Instead, we get 2/3 of the drama with our leading lady trying to find the developer of Love Alarm in order to get validation from an app. Jo-jo and everyone else get to a healthier place eventually, but I just... I just don't know what I was expecting about this particular storyline but this wasn't it. More about this on the section about Hye-young and Jo-jo's relationship.

First, Jo-jo's development -despite the things I already mentioned that I didn't like- was done really well. She's a survivor of a murder/suicide attempt by her parents and then went on to live with an emotional, verbal and psychological abusive family members that constantly shattered her trust on other people and even herself. Jo-jo carries scars that we can only empathize with but never truly understand. This is probably Love Alarm's strongest point: Jo-jo's development was done really well. She comes through the others side, finally letting go of her grief, ready to no longer wear a cheerful mask and actually be happy. Her journey was engaging and compelling. I always, no matter what, found myself rooting for her.

Second, Jo-jo and Sun-oh are no longer in love in season 2. This is painful for me to admit because I was hoping for them to find a way back to each other. But, no, their love burned passionately, beautifully, loud, big and, perhaps most importantly, fast. It was young love but it's was also true. Sadly, they met at a moment of their lives where neither was mature or brave enough to see it through. Jo-jo runaway scared of her own feelings and Sun-oh let her go, both allowing an app to dictate every single step of their rise and fall.

Do Jo-jo and Sun-oh still care for each other? Yes, of course. They will always care and be important to one another, because they met at a time when they were lonely, neglected and in need to love. They gave each other what their respective families couldn't and wouldn't give them: a home.

I was disappointed by how their story developed. With Jo-jo on a mission to face her own feelings, I was expecting the first stop to be Sun-oh. You know, to have that one long awaited truth time conversation? The one where she tells her what actually went down four years ago? Instead, what actually happens, is that she gets caught by him talking about the shield with another person, sending him spiraling into a mix of anger, disappointment and heartbreak. I really wish this would have gone down differently. I think both characters deserved better at this point of the story.

Theirs was a story about heartbreak and learning from past mistakes, learning how to trust yourself and others. Their ending is probably the most bittersweet part of the drama because they (and by extension us) know what could have been and sadly will never be.

Third, when you see Love Alarm on its entirety, you realize how organic Jo-jo and Hye-young's relationship developed. His quiet and mature nature was a good match for Jo-jo because it gave her a sense of stability, something she had yearned for her entire life. Learning from her experience with Sun-oh, Jo-jo has a new maturity and self confidence that allows her to finally want to stop running away and start running towards something. Or, in this case, someone. And it was beautiful to see her running in Jeju Island, finally free of the past, to find Hye-young waiting or her at the finish line. Literally and metaphorically.

But before all that, I don't appreciate the way the drama dragged on the whole "can't ring his alarm" storyline, with both pretending to not care when they actually do. Jo-jo spends most the the drama anxious wanting to prove her love for Hye-young, trapped in the world's mentality of validation through an app. Furthermore, when Hye-young says he doesn't care (because he represents the analogue and old fashioned kind of romance in this world), he is still relieved when she finally does. Where is the logic?

The whole argument the drama sets up, about ALL the characters learning to trust themselves, becomes mute when they still depend on the App.

Finally, and I can't believe I am going to say this, I fully agree with Gul-mi when she called out Duk-goo for playing puppet master with people's lives. Particularly, Jo-jo's. Who the hell does he think he is? Acting like he has all the answers when he doesn't. I can't even.

Rating (LoveAlarm S1 + S2): 7/10

[jellybeanbeing]

Favorite Books of 2020

I read 50 books this year, here are my top favorites:

9. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare // One of my most anticipated books of 2020 and it did not disappoint. This wasn’t the first Shadowhunter book I’ve read and so I was aware going into this one that, with this being the first book to a new series, there was gonna be some info dump and A LOT of build up. I wasn’t mad at it though. Besides that, I can already tell that this series is going to be my favorite in TSC. The story is already so complex with such vibrant and interesting characters and character relationships. I cried my eyes out at the end of this book because I could just feel the pain in certain characters and I am so ready to be hurt with the two upcoming books.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: substance abuse, emotional manipulation

8. Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert // This was the first ever adult romance book that I read, and boy, did it make me fall in love. I had no idea what I was going into when picking this up because I had never read an adult romance novel, and I was soooooooo pleasantly surprised that it sent me into an adult romance book binge. This is still at the top because hot damn, the relationship was just fantastic. It was sooooo cute, and what I loved so so much was that the characters had lives outside of their relationships. They grew individually while still engaging in their relationship. It never felt boring or stilted. It was so refreshing to read that. The amount of communication and comprehension that was present was amazing. The smut scenes were just fucking perfection. I loved everything about this book! 

TRIGGER WARNING (provided in the author's note of Get a Life, Chloe Brown): "This story touches on the process of healing after an abusive relationship."

7. You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle // Let me just say here that this is suuuuuuch a romantic book. There were so many lines that had my heart aching and crying. This was the first book I read where the lovers to enemies to lovers trope existed, and after this one, I want more. I looooved the regrowth of their relationship, seeing the two become friends again, and really really communicate with each other and listen to each other. It was so goddamn cute and wholesome and endearing. This book was also so humorous and I found myself actually laughing at certain parts. One thing that I really really appreciated was that though the book’s perspective was only from one side of the relationship, it never pinned all the blame on the other person. This was a story that could’ve easily turned into that, where the other person is the bad guy, but it was acknowledged that both sides were at fault for the falling out of the relationship. I had such a great time reading this one!

6. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang // I fell absolutely in love with this one, especially after a brief reread. It is sooooo freaking cute and easy going and wholesome and romantic and perfect. I love the two main characters and how well they fit together. They understand each other and respect each other and care for each other so so deeply. The communication was so perfect, the smut scenes were top tier amazing, the growth of their affection towards each other was so cute, and everything was just great. I loved the family aspect of this one! It felt natural and genuine. This book was just everything good.

5. Kids of Appetite by David Arnold // One of the last books I read in the year, and here it is! This reread was well overdue. Anyway, I loved it! I loved it way more than my first read. The found family trope in this one was literally so perfect and felt like a warm hug. I LIVE for the friendships in this one. I absolutely loved how everything tied together at the end and how everything was connected. It made me so emotional, and yes, I did cry. A lot. The romance between Vic and Mad was also really cute and wholesome! The grief that was explored in this one was also so so good. It felt so personal and it made my heart ache. Yes, this book will still remain as one of my all time favorites. I loved it.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: PTSD, physical abuse, death of a loved one, murder, violence

4. The Right Swipe & 3. Girl Gone Viral by Alisha Rai // Okay, but these are top fucking tier romance books! I’m grouping them together because they are part of the same series (Modern Love). I’m usually not a fan of social media or modern day lingo in books because I do find it cringy but I don’t know, it fucking works in these two for me. The Right Swipe is a second chance romance, and I loved it! Rhi and Samson have such great chemistry and their banter was so good. Girl Gone Viral had me smiling like an idiot throughout the whole thing. It was so fucking cute! Also, it was my first bodyguard trope like book, and I like it? Anyway, what I love about both books is how great the communication and comprehension is between the couples. They understand the other person’s boundaries and have conversations like mature people. I also LOVE how the main characters are so well developed and intriguing individually. There’s enough about both characters and who they are and how they run their lives where I felt a connection with them. I found myself caring about each character outside of their relationship and rooting for them. They grow individually but they also grow within their relationship. Also, what perfect endings these two have. It’s not at all cheesy (though I’m not opposed to them) and/or dramatic. They were so realistic, intimate, and heartwarming. And lastly, the smut scenes were chef’s kiss. Great. Fantastic. These two books are the best romance books I’ve ever read, and I will die on this hill saying that.

The Right Swipe TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual harrasment (the book discusses sexual harassment in the workplace), emotional and mental abuse, healing after the death of a loved one, anxiety, mentions of panic attacks

Girl Gone Viral TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: PTSD, mentions of unhealthy eating habits (restrictive), emotional and mental abuse, depictions of panic attacks, anxiety

2. Deposing Nathan by Zack Smedley // This was my first book of the year, and yes, it is up this high because it was so great and memorable. I read this at the most perfect time in my life. I was initially really exciting for it, and I was so happy that it matched my expectations. While the book’s main focus is on the events of what happened that led to the start of the book, it deals with such as topics about sexuality and religion. It was such an emotional and intense book for me, and I felt like this book poured out the thoughts that were swimming in my brain. I loved the characters and how certain things played out. None of it to me, felt unrealistic. It was genuine and heartbreaking while still a bit heartwarming. This book is truly a gem, and I will love it forever.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental manipulation, violence, homophobic slurs, homophobia

1. An Ember in the Ashes series by Sabaa Tahir // With how much I posted about this series, it’s no surprise that it’s numero uno on this list. I love this series with my entire soul, being, existence, it is literal perfection. Yes, I’ve had my fair share of complaints about this book series but fuck that, it is sooooo good. The characters are so amazing and complex, and their development over the course of the four books is so emotional and heart wrenching. I found a part of myself with each character and I was (and still am) so attached to them. The romantic relationship, the familial relationships, the friendships, all the relationships were so well done. I could feel the true connection in every dynamic. I love it so much that it hurts. The plot itself is so fucking good. The slow world building it has is one of my favorite things. It allows you to take in the world slowly and at a good pace. It continues to grow and evolve and reveal itself the further you go with each book. The dialogue is fucking fantastic. It’s flows so well and is well done. Yes, it gets fancy but it’s soooooo smooooooooth. The writing is just sooooo beautiful. Gorgeous. A beauty. I have different posts dedicated to my favorite lines in each book, and boy do they hit the emotional spot. This book series has had such a huge impact in my life and the fact that it’s over doesn’t even feel real. I have cried for five days straight because I won’t get to read this series or about these characters anymore, like I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. Not to mention that the tears are also because of book four and the bittersweetness it left me with. I could go on for days about how absolutely amazing and fantastic this book series is. I would highly recommend it. Get wrecked by it. Love it. It will hurt your soul.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of rape, mentions of sexual assault, violence (some scenes are graphic), murder, death of loved ones, depictions of grief, PTSD

[shewhobefuddles]

Jordelia Playlist

Okay, here's the playlist of Jordelia songs (and their explanations) I've compiled over quarantine through sheer boredom, and starvation of more TSC content. Feel free to skip the explanations, I just have too much time on my hands and wanted to get my thoughts out. I put a shortlist below to skip the writing. 

Add songs in the comments!!!

Shortlist

Heather- Conan Gray

All I Ask- Adele

Wildest Dreams- Taylor Swift

Stone Cold- Demi Lovato

Like We Never Loved At All- Faith Hill, Tim McGraw

Make You Feel My Love- Adele

Apologize- One Republic

The Last Time- Taylor Swift

Moral of the Story (slowed) - Ashe

Burning- Sam Smith

Without a Word- Birdy

Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran

Salvation- Gabrielle Aplin

Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007: I. Prelude- Bach

Heather- Conan Gray

We all saw this one coming, but it really is a good song that I think goes well with Cordelia’s situation. “But I watch your eyes as she walks by; what a sight for sore eyes.” The song quite beautifully describes a classic case of unrequited love, and how it feels to watch the person you care about be obsessed with someone else. Cordelia spends the book watching James follow Grace around, and pushing aside her romantic feelings for him, as she believes that he does not return them. Even after they’re engaged, she accepts that he will never love her, and his feelings for Grace will remain. Of course, we all know there are magical, manipulative forces at play here, but James and Cordelia don’t yet.

All I Ask- Adele

“So don’t get me wrong I know, there is no tomorrow, all I ask is if this is my last night with you, hold me like I’m more than just a friend.”  This song is absolutely beautiful, and if you listen to nothing else on this playlist, listen to this. An underrated Adele masterpiece. Anyways, it again relates to unreciprocated love, and the desire to have one last good memory with the person you love before you have to leave. This makes me think of the desperation of time running out in James and Cordelia’s fake engagement, and Cordelia trying to savor each moment, even though she thinks James isn’t doing the same. It makes me picture her trying to memorize how it feels to be held in his arms as his fiancee/wife, with their inevitable divorce looming over her. I don’t know if they will actually divorce, or even end up getting married. Who knows how their fake engagement will play out. But still, she’d be anticipating divorce, and feeling these things all the same. 

Wildest Dreams- Taylor Swift (listen to the slowed version for even more feels; idk why but slowed versions always have more tension)

“Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks; say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams.”  To me, these are the silent pleas of Cordelia as she prepares to leave James, hoping that he’ll still think of her, remember her fondly, even if it’s just in his wildest dreams. It’s also James. James will eventually wake up from his enchantment, and when he does I’m sure he’ll be filled with regret over what he could’ve had with Cordelia, remembering only once the enchantment is off how beautiful she was, how much of a wonderful person she was that he connected with so strongly. This song adds a layer of wistfulness and time gone by between the couple’s memories, and where the couple is now, recollecting them, which hopefully won’t happen in the books. I hope that years don’t go by between Cordelia and James seeing each other, after everything with their engagement. But it’s an interesting thought.

Stone Cold- Demi Lovato (her live/acoustic versions are also worth a listen!)

“I’m happy for you, know that I am, even if I can’t understand. I’ll take the pain, give me the truth. Me and my heart, we’ll make it through. If happy is her, I’m happy for you.” Tears. Tears. Cordelia is so kind, mature, and understanding, and she has never once blamed James for his feelings for Grace, or wished Grace any ill will. She just wants to see James happy, even if it’s not with her. She will continue to love him, and bravely, quietly endure the pain of watching him with someone else, because she cares for him so deeply that just having him close to her, in her life is enough (for now). I sense trouble and discontent, and think that the pain will eat away at her over time, but she really does want the best for James, and wishes him and Grace well.

Like We Never Loved At All- Faith Hill, Tim McGraw (yes it’s country, but hear me out it’s a good song, and I don’t even usually like country music!)

“How can you just walk on by, without one tear in your eye? Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?” This one reminds me of how James and Cordelia had about a week or so where he wasn’t under an enchantment; they had a passionate moment in the Whispering Room, James was all enamored and calling her Daisy, and they talked about reading together. And then, the return of the bracelet, and James’ feelings for Cordelia seemingly disappeared. I understand that Cordelia had already had reason to believe James liked Grace, as she’d seen them together before the enchantment was off, and she was probably never that secure in James’ feelings for her, as he only partially professed them very briefly before going back to being in love with Grace, but I have to believe there was a moment where she was very confused. Like, “James and I passionately made out in the Whispering Room, and then he told me he’d never wanted anything more than to kiss me, and now he’s back with Grace? Huh?” So, this song reflects that: having something with someone, only for them to act as if it never happened at all, leaving you with the memories and pain.

Make You Feel My Love- Adele

“Nothing that I wouldn’t do; go to the ends of the earth for you. To make you feel my love.”  A song of deep love and devotion. I imagine Cordelia’s selfless love for James, that burns brightly despite his lack of returned affection, or James’ eventual realization of his love for Cordelia. Him being devastated that he has hurt her, that she doesn’t believe he loves her, that he was never able to recognize his feelings before. I see it as James professing how he feels to Cordelia, baring his soul to her and showing her his devotion, trying to erase her pain and earn her trust.

Apologize- OneRepublic (again, I kinda like the slowed version; you can so clear hear the violin, piano, and tension)

“You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down, but wait. You tell me that you’re sorry, didn’t think I’d turn around. And say, that it’s too late to apologize.” How I picture some Chain of Iron angst, as a result of the confusion and miscommunication that will be going on with James and Cordelia, due to the enchantment. James will give her mixed signals as his true feelings battle with the feelings brought on by the enchantment, and there will be chaos and pain. James will have a lot to explain to Cordelia at some point, and we’ll see how receptive she is to what he has to say. Cordelia is forgiving and understanding, but she will not tolerate being toyed with, disrespected, or neglected by anyone, not even James, and the bracelet may make it seem like James is mistreating her. No matter which way the story goes, drama will ensue, feelings will be hurt, and amends will have to be made.

The Last Time- Taylor Swift, Gary Lightbody

“This is the last time I’m asking you this, to put my name at the top of your list. This is the last time I’m asking you why. You broke my heart in the blink of an eye.” This song is similar to All I Ask in that it describes the last, bittersweet moment of a relationship, and the desire to preserve that moment to keep with you after the end, and give you a reprieve from the pain. Again, it makes me think of Cordelia trying to savor the moments she gets with James before they have to split.

Moral of the Story- Ashe (SLOWED!!)

I don’t know if it’s just me but I can’t stand the normal version of the song, it sounds a little too poppy. Go listen to the slowed and reverb one on YouTube, it’s so much prettier and more haunting. Anyways, some little quotes that remind me of James’s situation are: “So I never really knew you. God, I really tried to. Blindsided, addicted.” and “You can think that you’re in love, when you’re really just in pain.” To me, in the context of TLH, this song is about James’s deep regret at being caught up in delusions about Grace for years, and ruining things with Cordelia, the love of his life. Also, reflecting on how he’s been held back from truly being himself and experiencing emotions for much of his life, which is devastating. The piano alone at the beginning sounds like melancholy and regret, James pondering the things that have happened to him and the decisions he’s made, and the pain that all of this has caused him, as well as everyone else (I’m guessing Grace will use him to do some scary, dangerous sh*t).

Burning- Sam Smith

“I’ve been burning, yes I’ve been burning. Such a burden, this flame on my chest.” This song instantly reminded me of them, because of the chapter Burn in ChOG, where Cordelia says something like, “For a year I will be close to him, and know what it means to burn.” The actual verses and lyrics of this song don’t apply perfectly to James and Cordelia, but it’s a song about the pain love can bring, how it can burn, so I thought the essence of it fit them.

Without a Word- Birdy

“Stand there and look into my eyes, and tell me that all we had were lies. Show me that you don’t care. And I’ll stay here, if you prefer. Yes, I’ll leave you. Without a word.” Again, I feel this relates to the concept of “Am I imagining everything that happened between us?” that was present with Cordelia after the bracelet was put back on James, only, Cordelia never confronted James. She just assumed she had been reading things wrong, making things up in her mind, and so she accepted it when James went back to Grace. But this song explores the confrontation of two people whose relationship/romance has ended, in which one person is demanding that the other be honest about what happened with them, what their true feelings are. While Cordelia accepted James’ return to Grace fairly easily, this song makes me imagine James confronting Cordelia, once the enchantment has been broken. I can imagine that Cordelia might not be forthright about her feelings for him, after everything she’s been through, but James will only just be realizing his deep love and affection for her, and will likely be wanting to know if she felt what he felt during their moments together that he’d forgotten, like the Whispering Room, or when she read to him. James will want to know how Cordelia feels, and this song is how I picture him wondering about it, and possibly approaching her.

Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran

“So kiss me like you want to be loved.” This one is just a soft, romantic love song. I’m all for the angst and drama, but I do hope that James and Cordelia eventually get time where their feelings have been requited, they are secure in their love, and they can just enjoy being together. This song makes me imagine them slow dancing in a dimly lit room by a dying fire. Sigh.

Salvation- Gabrielle Aplin

“Just a trick of light, to bring me back around again. Those wild eyes, a psychedelic silhouette.” I like all the different metaphors and details this song uses to describe the way that someone you love lives in your head. It reminds me of all the times Cordelia is distracted by James, or is thinking about little details of his, like his eyes or dimples. Her love for him has refused to go away, even through the difficult situations they’ve been put in, and thoughts of him are always floating around somewhere in her mind. James will likely be the same, once the enchantment is broken.

Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007: I. Prelude- Bach

This is a piece of classical music with no lyrics or tangible relation to James and Cordelia, but it gives me moody, dramatic ballroom vibes, and I imagine it playing in the background of a scene in TLH.

[thecandywrites]

Of Heaven and Fire Part 7

P

Woo, do we have more characters to introduce you to. Ok, obviously- upper right is inside a hurricane, now imagine more angel looking creatures flying on the inside of it, all of them glittering like gold and diamonds and pearls. Upper middle ish- what a moura mark looks like- now imagine it gold, and at the base of your skull where your head meets your neck. Yes it takes up most of the back of your neck. Yes each one is very intricate and henna styled but different and unique among individuals, like a fingerprint. Ok, once that chain and cuff came off, that silkver rope thing was still there, tied similarly to that, but invisable and while Benyana could feel the effects of it, she couldn’t physically feel it tied around her. Upper right- Benyana. 

Now for the guys underneath those pictures. From left to right, Crown Prince Cordene, the son of Crown Prince Delmal who we met in the last part. Next to/ the right of/ him- Lord Suriel, Remiel’s apprentice in the royal court of the crystal angels. to his right, the Lord Ralitar- a minor prince, tasked with finding Benyana, we’ll get to know him later and next to him is the fae Prince Matae. And then if you’ve ever seen Sinbad where Eris pulls Sinbad under the water and how HUGE she is at first- yeah, grandma. 

Now the last row- Prince Oriles, think little mermaid but...higher fantasy-ier? And more creature-ish (I know those aren’t really words.) and of course Benyana as a siren, then we have the next to are sirens/mermen who were totally part of that orgy. and last but not least- Brock. He’s so outmanned and outgunned it aint even funny. Luckily our girl is on his side. Caution, the next few parts are gonna be that carcrash that collided with a dumpster fire. It’s gonna get MESSY. I can’t wait. Now, go get some popcorn and/or twinkies and some wine, or any other beverage you prefer. 

Also this is going to be relavent- (I’m sorry that gif looks like it’s having a siezure but it’s all I have)

Tagging @probablyclever​ @imherefortheforthefanart​ @funmadnessandbadassvikings​ and if anyone else wants to be tagged, just let me know. 

Of Heaven and Fire 

Part 7

You woke up to Brock pressing soft kisses into the crown of your head as his arms were wrapped comfortably around you as your body was still pressed up against his. His warmth radiating off of him and seeping into you until you were positively saturated with it and felt it in every inch of you. 

“Good morning.” He purred when you woke up, a smile blooming on your face as you stretched out before you relaxed fully against him once more. 

“Good morning.” You mirrored, a lazy, sleepy but still sated smile on your lips before he dipped his head down and kissed you good morning, a kiss you returned as you were once again relieved that he was ok, he was safe and sound and having him this close made you feel happy, you could protect him as long as he was near you, the closer the better as you reached around him and started to scratch his back. 

“Oh, oh, that feels glorious.” He praised as he gently scooched you back to lay on his belly so you could access all of his back as you giggled and obliged, scratching all over before you moved up and moved his thick braids away from the back of his neck before you were met with a golden tattoo on the back of his neck which made you pause. 

All mouras were born with a golden tattoo on the base of their skull where their heads met their necks, usually over an eighth vertebra in their neck since moura’s had naturally long and graceful necks like any proper bird, usually their moura cloak originated from this mark, it was unique like a fingerprint and their moura cloak would have a golden design on it that matched this mark exactly and when the moura cloak laid over this, the moura cloak would stay active, but- if a moura cloak were taken off, and perhaps buried, there was a gold piece of metal, that looked like a metal collar of a dress shirt that would remain once the actual feathers rotted away. A moura cloak could be revived and grow out again IF it was reattached to the wearer and you would bet your life that there was a gold collar belonging to him in TriKeng’s estate, either buried in his garden or in a jewelry box or something, he must have hundreds of them by now, stored away because the gold collars are otherwise indestructible, impossible to melt down or hammer apart or destroyed by any means. The other way to revive it was to be born again in the ashes then the collar would turn to dust wherever it was and reappear on you after you were reborn. 

“I see you found my birthmark.” He noted, his voice muffled by your pillow before you traced the pattern, happy he couldn’t see your bittersweet face as you did so. 

“Are you the only one in your family with it?” You asked, forcing your tone to be casual as you traced it, it was a gorgeous mark and it complemented his green skin incredibly well before you wrapped your hands around his neck and massaged it, giving yourself to opportunity to feel the vertebrae in his neck as he moaned out a pleasured groan, counting the vertebrae in his neck and counting down from his skull. One... two... three... four... five... six... seven...and eight and you forced yourself not to cry. What a different life he and his family could have had if TriKeng hadn’t been a selfish purist as you realized if TriKeng had actually allowed his mother and her sister in the colony, and welcomed orcs in, you would have grown up with him. He would have absolutely been your friend, possibly a childhood sweetheart and all this mess would have never happened. All because of TriKeng who was the real enemy in all this. You had to figure out a way to get Brock and his family the justice they deserved. 

“No, all my siblings and my cousins have a mark like it, but not exactly.” He answered. “But in my clan it’s only my mother and her sister and their children who have it,.” He revealed. 

“It’s beautiful.” You praised in a low murmur. 

“Thanks.” He smiled as you made a mental note not to let him see yours. 

“I noticed last night your tattoos glowed…” You prompted as you traced them over his body before you got to his side which made him squirm, he must have been ticklish which gave you a lopsided grin. 

“Yeah, they’ve been doing that a lot lately, it’s honestly, really weird and it freaks most people out.” He answered honestly as you hummed thoughtfully as you realized all those merpeople, that’s what they found most entertaining, is to see you light up as you realized, if anything you were just a passing distraction and fling to them, which you were ok with. Honestly they were that to you too and frankly you didn’t care if you ever saw them again or not. It had been a fun evening, a wild night- that was for sure. But one that you didn’t want or need repeated now that Brock had effectively rocked your world right. 

“I noticed your marks do the same, is it a moura thing?” He asked. 

“Not necessarily, lots of species have bioluminescence, does it ever hurt for them to light up?” You asked thoughtfully. 

“No, actually it feels good.” He answered. 

“Good.” You nodded. 

“So why do yours light up?” He asked as he turned to look at you which made you smile bashfully as a deep blush dusted your cheeks. 

“Well they light up when we heal, as a siren though they were always on, which was nice because deeper water is really dark.” You deflected. 

“And obviously when you have sex.” Brock pointed out, bringing you right back to the point. 

“They do, but that in itself can be a downside. You grow up seeing your parents room light up a lot and once you’re old enough to understand what’s going on it can be embarrassing and keep you up at night, your older siblings when they reach sexual maturity get sexually frustrated easily and the only thing that can keep the light out is heavy furs which in the summertime is inconvenient because you’re already hot and especially when there is already so many of you sharing a room, you start to get snappy with each other and most in the colony have special doors and shutters on their windows to keep the light in so the whole neighborhood can keep their nose out of your business and apartments with these light proof rooms go for quite a bit of money.” You explained. 

“Like how much money?” He asked curiously. 

“Well, moura money is in silver, in a colony where everyone can turn everything into gold, moura gold is nothing- that’s what you give the merchants and outsiders, silver and copper is what you use with everyone else in the colony and what you ask for in change from the merchants, true gold however is rare and especially precious and of course hoarded whenever possible. So a decent apartment with the light features goes for about 500 silver ryal a month.” You answered. 

“So what’s the difference between moura gold and true gold?" He asked. 

“Moura gold behaves like wet clay in the hands of a moura, true gold doesn’t, all merchants think that moura coins are minted to be disks that are slightly curved and printed with a finger print.” You answered as you grabbed a seashell that was used to decorate the wall and turned it to gold and then smooshed it like wet clay and made yourself your own moura gold coin that was slightly curved like your thrumb before you gave it to him and held your breath to see if he had that ability without his cloak as he took it and tried to bend it with his teeth but it wouldn’t budge which made you blow out a silent breath of relief after he gave it back and settled back onto his belly so you could keep scratching his back. 

“So that’s why most couples choose to build their own house, carving a place out in the mountain sides and engineering a way to get water into it by pumps and pipes so that each home has plumbing, both to bring water into the house and waste out of it and to catch rain water, a feat made easy since you can buy all the tools and materials from merchants for moura gold which they have no idea is any different and I would greatly appreaciate it if you kept this a secret, mouras can lose everything if this is found out.” You urged him. 

“On my honor, I won’t tell a soul.” He vowed which two weeks ago you would have made a snappy comeback to but now, it gave you relief and comfort to hear. 

“So with all that considered it’s much cheaper to build a house than it is to rent one, but the location of the house is just as important as the size or kind it is. Houses close to the markets are prime realestate so you don’t have to drag or carry your goods home since most of the passages are too thin for a cart but are ok for a wheelbarrows. The colonies have sectors because many different kinds of moura can make up a colony and so the royal moura who leave the courts to live with us, each court has its own aesthetic and they still like to settle in the part of the city that reminds them of home and each areas compete to see who can build the prettiest buildings or people compete to see who can build the prettiest houses or most decorated areas of town. Usually the bigger the house- the more kids you want and some want to get as far away from their parents as possible and some want to stay as close as possible but mostly location matters if you want to set up a shop, most places, the bottom floor is the shop and the upper floors are the house and moura’s number 1 product is food, food of all kinds there’s entire centers that are hawker centers near the heart of the city where you can go and get dumplings and noodles from the orient- curries from the spice district or all these different kinds of ales from a brewery or even colony specific foods because each colony has it’s own unique dishes it created upon it’s being built, that’s why merchants come from far and wide to sell food stuffs and especially spices of all kinds.” You explained. 

“So what are your preferences for food?” He asked. 

“Honestly I love it all, but I gotta say seafood is really high up there, that crab and those scallops and shrimp especially” You answered with a fond smile which he returned as his face turned towards you. 

“So what’s your preference for a house?” He asked thoughtfully. Oh. Oh gods. Fuck. Your KNEES just got week and you weren’t even on them as a thought of how magnificent he would look building you a house danced in your head. You wondered if he would ever consider leaving the business of warchief behind to live in Suchi, if he would be happy there. Or would you be happy somewhere else? Perhaps, in his clan, on the lovely river with the sound of the sea always in your ears. 

“I don’t know, honestly I like a little bit of everything. But having been away from home, I miss my family like crazy, but being away from them has given me opportunities to experience things I probably never would have. I would have never known I had family in the oceans if I hadn’t been on a boat.” You answered and you could see the guilt Brock tried to cover over in his own expression.  

“Wait you have family down there?” He asked.

“Oh yeah, it was my grandma that pulled me from the hold. She lives in a nice cave, she’s lined one of her walls with sunken ships and keeps a really big blind shark as a pet and a volcanic vent in the cave keeps things warm and cozy. And it was she who introduced me to the dragons, Yingshen and Pantaou and they are very much old oriental water dragons, guarding a huge nest of eggs that sits on top of the vents and there are huge, just huge schools of fish that swim around the rich waters and the floor is just crawling with crabs and huge lobsters but because it’s so close to the nest, there’s no way to get at any of them because the eggs themselves are delicate and if a crab pod were to land say on an egg, I’m pretty sure they would damage the egg and those dragons would not hesitate to kill whoever was responsible for putting their fishing stuff over the nest.” You answered. 

“So what does your grandma look like?” He asked because he had had the most horrific nightmare last night of a huge siren trying to eat him. 

“Oh she’s probably two to three times as big as this ship, if not bigger, the deeper things live and the older they get the bigger they get apparently, although my grandma was the only really big siren I met, all the others were my size but they lived in shallower waters in coral reefs and stuff, of course me coming down there was a big deal because after I made that deal with the water dragons, my grandma took me to meet the rest of the family and I got to meet aunts and uncles and a whole school of cousins and all their friends and they got a clam that is- I shit you not- is as big as this bed and they cut it up for all of us to eat and it was really, really delicious, like I’m pretty sure anyone else would die trying to harvest them but man oh man were they good!” You retold with a fond smile. 

“So what made you come back?” He asked. 

“Well, actually I had a dream my grandma was trying to eat you for enslaving me and she’s big enough and mad enough right now to do both and I wouldn’t put it past her, like part of me really just wants to get you back to shore as soon as possible and I can not begin to tell you the panic I would feel if you were to leave my side right now, it’s ridiculous.” You explained as he rolled over onto his side to face you to listen attentively to you and his face was just fond and adoring as he considered you. Grateful that your connection was strong enough to share dreams now. 

“So what kind of beds do they have down there?” He asked, wanting to avoid the subject of your tethering, hoping that now that it wasn’t on you anymore that you would hopefully never bring it up again and hoping that now that you were no longer tethered, that it would be left in the past and that he would hopefully never have to admit what it really was. The fact that it came off proved that you now loved him. It wouldn’t have come off otherwise. You were his. And that’s all that mattered. Everything would be ok and together the two of you could solve all the problems that came against you as a couple. He would happily build you the biggest and best house in the clan, he would even model it after your own home if it meant you wouldn’t get homesick. He would even follow any and all moura courting rituals to make sure you felt that he did right by you and that you felt he earned your love and affections and respect. This hadn’t been nearly as hard as he thought it was gonna be. Now he was just going to enjoy the fruits of the now established relationship. 

“Um really big sea sponges and there was a cloth down there that they used for curtains and stuff and it felt like silk but not quite.” You answered, hoping he wouldn’t ask if you actually slept on one. 

“Sea silk.” He explained. 

“What’s sea silk?” You asked, hoping to distract him by veering the conversation away from the subject. 

“It’s a cloth that the merpeople make, I don’t know how they do it but it washes up on shore a lot but if it dries out, it shatters like dried out kelp but as long as it’s wet and stays wet- it’s fine.” He explained. 

“Huh.” You murmured as you stored that away mentally. 

“Well it’s good that you were with family, they took care of you, I thought whatever had taken you had eaten you shortly after.” He revealed as he scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you to himself again possessively which you didn’t mind one bit. 

“No,” you shook your head. . 

“So what kind of house do you want?” He asked and your cheeks blushed harder as your smile got giddy. 

“Well I guess that depends,” you began. 

“On?” He asked as his nose danced and encircled yours, his lips so torturously close to yours you could almost taste him as you gulped as lust started to haze your senses as your breathing started to labor again. 

“What I can build you?” He offered and the thought melted your heart and you couldn’t take it anymore, you kissed him, hard and murmured an ‘uh huh’ in confirmation as your leg hiked over his hip, your core already dripping in anticipation as it grinded down over his hardening cock before it was hard enough to spear you before you rolled him over to ride him, savoring the feeling of being joined with him as your moura marks lit up and pulsed again as you watched as his tattoos did the same while his eyes drank you in and watched as your lower belly bulged ever so slightly again as he started to fantasize what you’d be like pregnant with his child and it nearly sent him over the edge as he grabbed your hips and drove up into you as you had to brace yourself on his chest again, feeling his heart pound under your palm like a steady drum. 

“Gods I love you,” Brock professed and you just beamed before you bent over and kissed him hungrily so you wouldn’t have to answer if your mouth was already preoccupied because returning that didn’t feel...completely honest. Now that the shackle wasn’t on you anymore, you could sense you could lie again. at least partially but you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to be dishonest in this moment. You didn’t want to ruin it and instead you sped up, using every move you had to get him to cum as quickly as possible as your own climax quickly approached as his fingers sunk into your hips, to the point the softness dimpled around his fingertips as he helped move you on him before he rolled you over and really drove into you with much more power than you possessed and it was exactly what you needed to cum, your moura marks getting so bright both of you had to close your eyes to keep you both from going blind.  

Once your orgasm finally snapped and flooded you with euphoria and Brock had emptied himself again and you both rested and recovered and basked in the afterglow. 

“I love you so much.” He repeated. 

“I love you too.” You professed, his bright happy smile making the half truth seem like a whole one as he kissed you sweetly. 

“I love you more.” He returned. 

“Probably, yeah,” you giggled as he snorted a laugh. 

“Well, I’m a patient man, I don’t mind proving it to you every day until your love is as strong as mine.” He insisted. 

“That’s gonna be a long time, maybe even a lifetime.” You returned, keeping your tone light and teasing. 

“One worth living if it’s with you.” He returned confidently and you hugged him to hide your own guilty expression. Shit. Did you really want to live the rest of your life with him? Would you be happy? Was he really your mate? Well your moura marks shone that it was but right now- you weren’t so sure. 

“Ok,” you whispered in his ear as you kissed his cheek and his shoulder and buried all of your doubt before you heard Cugas knock on Brock’s door. 

“Brock! Get your ass up! We got a problem!” He hollered. 

“What’s wrong?” Brock hollered back. “What the fuck are you doing in Yana’s…” Cugas began before he opened your door to see Brock quickly covering both of you with the blanket and shield your body with his. 

“Hey! Hey! Knock bro.” Brock complained as Cugas just stood there, his eyes about to pop out of his head as his jaw hit the floor before he quickly slammed the door shut, splintering the door and the door frame as you and Brock dissolved into giggles before he got off you as your moura cloak became an outfit once more before you wrapped a blanket around himself as he looked at his still sopping wet clothes on the floor. 

“Go and get some dry clothes.” You gently urged him before he agreed and took your blanket with him and left your room to see Cugas pacing the hallway about to have a crises as Brock quickly went from your room to his own as you walked over to where the chain had been thrown and picked it up, keeping it away from you just in case it decided to reach out to grab you again like it had a life of it’s own like it was some kind of venemous snake. 

“What the hell?” Cugas asked as he came into your room to see you holding the chain as far away from you as you could.

“No way,” Cugas shook his head in disbelief as you laughed mirthlessly. 

“So what’s the problem?” You asked. 

“Uh, it’s just an entire school of merpeople and selkies and sirens as big as the fleet circling the ship demanding to see you.” Cugas explained. 

“Shit, make sure Brock doesn’t go near any windows and doesn’t come to the top deck or he’ll be snatched off the deck and drowned!” You quickly dropped the chain and pushed past him as you rushed down the hall. 

“Why?!” Cugas called after you. 

“Because they’re really here to kill him!” You answered over your shoulder as you sprouted wings once more and flew out of the first door and flew out of the ship like a bat out of hell before you swam over the water in the eye of the hurricane, watching as everything stopped swimming around the ship and swam so they were under you like a moth to a flame. 

“Well that’s the first thing to make sense all morning.” Cugas murmured to himself before Brock came out of his room, barely tucking his shirt into his pants. 

“Who’s here to kill me?” He asked before Cugas grabbed him and shoved him into his first mate’s room across the hall on the interior of the ship. 

“Everyone apparently.” Cugas answered. 

“What are we doing in here?” Brock asked. 

“Yana asked me to keep you away from the windows and off the top deck because apparently there’s a giant fucking school of selkies, mermaids and sirens, giant ones, circling the boat that have been demanding to see Yana and right now all the crew is hiding below deck because they will snatch anyone off the deck, I’ve had to knock out several of my crew so didn’t they actually listen to the siren’s song and jump overboard.” Cugas explained as he lit a lantern. “And in the meantime you’re fucking her?! What the fuck?!” Cugas demanded.  

“Hey, the cuff came off and she asked me to.” Brock answered, a love drunk haze oh his face as his tattoos started to come alive and pulse again and Cugas could see he was starting to get hard again. 

“Yesterday she was ready to set you on fire and today she’s fucking you, what the hell happened between those two points, girls just don’t flip that big of a switch that quick.” Cugas argued disbelievingly. 

“Well she met her grandma and met her oceanic family and missed me and had a dream I was in danger and came back.” Brock answered. 

“So because she had a bad dream- she came back and forgave you for enslaving her for two weeks and promptly emptied your balls?” Cugas repeated. 

“Ew, not like that.” Brock frowned in disgust even though, yes, that was an accurate description of the events. 

“Bro, you know I love you like a brother and I have your back, but there is a really, really big piece of the puzzle that’s missing and you’re too love drunk to notice.” Cugas argued. 

“Look the shackle is off! That’s proof enough!” Brock argued. 

“Well then it’s faulty and broken.” Cugas argued. 

“No it’s not!” Brock argued. 

“Did she say it? Did she actually say the words ‘I love you’?” Cugas asked. 

“Yes!” Brock insisted. 

“Did she say it first or did you say it to her and she replied with that?” Cugas asked. “And was your dick in her when she said it? Was she close to orgasm or just had an orgasm? Because you know as well as I do that afterglow makes you say shit you don’t really mean, or better yet, was the shackle on her when she said it?” Cugas pointed out.  

“She said it, I believe her, that’s all there is to it!” Brock argued. 

“Brock! Bro! Actually think with the brain that’s in your head and not with this.” Cugas said as he slapped at Brock’s hard on as Brock quickly backed up so that he wouldn’t connect with it. 

“Bro, something is wrong. I am telling you I feel it in my soul. Something is majorly off and this isn’t adding up! I think she made friends down there and they’re out to do whatever it takes to keep her, she told me to keep you safe which means she knows you’re in danger and is protecting you because even though that tether isn’t physically on her- it’s still active.” 

“If that’s the case- she still can’t lie then, so she was telling the truth when she said she loved me.” Brock insisted as Cugas growled in frustration. 

“Fine, then believe her, but watch her, let her prove she loves with acts other than sex.” Cugas insisted before he poked his head out of the door and called a crew member to watch Brock so Cugas could go up on deck and see you with his own eyes as he saw you hovering over the surface of the water towards the middle of the eye where the winds and waves were the most calm since there was a current that all the boats stayed in just inside the eye that was traveling with the current of air above it so that meant that one side of the boat had rain and winds while the other had sunshine but a constant breeze in the direction of the hurricane, the water under where you were hovering however was boiling with merpeople as you talked with them before he saw heavenly moura and angels alike flying down from the cyclone and grab you up and fly up into the eye storm and talk to you themselves for a bit as they completely surrounded you before he heard something on the other side of the ship before he turned to see a huge hand come up from the water before it started to reach for him which made him scream which got your attention before you lit up like you were pure fire as you flew across the eye to get to the hand. 

“Shit! Grandma no!” You screamed as you dove and collided with the hand, pushing it back the other way until it fell back into the water,  leaving a trail of fire in your wake as the hand closed around you before the actual angels dove down into the water before they were swarmed by selkies, merfolk and sirens as Cugas just watched helplessly from the side of his ship, not knowing where to look because obviously it was all out war down there. 

“Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck!” He cursed as he got a harpoon and got one of the rowboats ready as he called for his crew to come and help lower him down. 

“Captain, you can’t!” They argued. 

“Do not disobey my order! Lower me down you can have a mutiny while I’m off the ship!” Cugas roared before they followed his order and lowered him down. 

Meanwhile you had flown out to sea, hoping to lure everyone away from the ship, trying to greet them happily as they all clamored for your attention, asking you why you had left. 

“I was worried about my friends.” You managed to answer them as they all reached for you but before you could touch any of them, royal heavenly moura and angels came down to you. 

“Benyana!” They called making you turn your head up before your angel reflex kicked in again as you felt yourself float up to them as they swarmed you too and flew up with you. 

“Yes?” You answered. 

“Oh your mother will be most pleased, we must get you home! Your mother came and pleaded to the heavenly moura king to help look for you and you actually came to us! This is the best sign! You’re unharmed, but tethered still.” A young angel said as he came and reached out before an invisible tether glowed around you, it was wrapped and tied around your neck and your body as it suddenly halted you from going any further up into the sky which you were grateful for. 

“Wait! Before you take it off, tell me exactly what it is.” You pleaded before the angels inspected it as the heavenly moura inspected your wings, happy to see such a glorious and perfectly symetrical pair you had- gorgeous blue and green shimmering to your feathers showing off your siren heritage as other feathers were shimmering diamond and gold and platinum while all the feathers had opalescent and pearlescent quality to them. I sign of greatness indeed and you were quite gorgeous. Your aesthetic was greater than even their own, and they were royal, supposed to be the most magnificent in the heavens as the young princes grinned at each other, happy that they hadn’t been pressured into marrying anyone yet because that you were obviously a bride worth waiting for, much less fighting for. 

“It’s a “truth, love and protection in all things” tether. It keeps you from being dishonest but it’s very weak, here, let us take it off.” They said before the angels pulled at it and it came off and all at once you felt as free as a bird and not tethered anymore and you expected to feel all those affections for Brock reverse but they didn’t. They remained which made you realize that your feelings for him were genuine and wholly your own. “Can I have that back, just in case, it might come in handy later.” You requested before they gave it back to you, now that it was off it was simply a length of silver rope.  

“Come, you need to have your angelic ability awakened.” The young angel said before he hugged and kissed you and in that kiss you felt more power than you had ever felt in your life come alive and start to pulse through your veins as your body grew bright as your muscle tone and fantastic body condition came back and a strength you had never felt before flooded your body, you felt you had the power to start flying in the opposite direction of the hurricane and it would stop and swirl in the new direction to follow you. That and Mr. Angel was particularly handsome and a really good kisser and it stole your breath away and made you feel lighter than air. 

“What did you do?” You asked as he pulled away, his own eyes hazed with love drunkenness now. 

“Well first, I’m Suriel, your grandfather Ramiel is my mentor, he told me to keep a close eye on you as he flew your mother home.” He answered. 

“My mother came to the hurricane to ask for the heavenly moura’s help in finding me?” You asked. 

“Yes, she was here not even a day ago. My name is Prince Cordene, my father is Crown Prince Delmal who is taking the throne this summer. When the festival ends tomorrow, I will lead the charge of fifty legions to escort you home.” He explained as he took your hand and pulled you away from Suriel to have you to himself before he kissed your hand and looked at you like you were the greatest treasure he had ever laid eyes on. 

“And I am also leading a hundred legions of angels to lead you home as well.” Suriel answered as he pulled you back to him as Cordene frowned, not wanting to be outdone. 

“Awesome.” You smiled happily before you heard Cugas’ scream. 

“Shit! Grandma no!” You screamed as you immediately left the angels and heavenly moura and came to Cugas’ rescue as you flew as fast as you could, your new angel heritage helping immensely, leaving fire in your wake as you flew into her palm and pushed her hand back and then her hand closed around you and pulled you to the ocean as you changed into a siren the moment you touched the ocean, the change being effortless and not hurting at all. 

“Grandma! What were you doing! You nearly hurt Cugas! Cugas is a friend, not food! Brock is in the center of the ship and guarded. And no you can’t crush the ship to get at him.” You insisted before you heard the merfolk start to battle the angels that started to dive down after you as you swam to investigate.

“Stop it!” You screamed, your voice enhanced by your siren form and your angelic heritage as the sound made everyone stop and cover their ears as the scream then traveled and broke all the windows on the ships as even the crew on the ships had to cover their ears and those at the bottom of the cyclone faultered. 

“Stop fighting! You’re fighting each other for no reason!” You argued as you swam over to them and broke them up before Prince Oriles came to investigate, trident in hand as he stopped and stared at you in awe, you were now by far the most magnificent goddess divine he had ever seen before he noticed the scene. 

“Enough.” He said as with a wave of his trident the angels were one side and the merpeople were on the other with you in the middle as he swam around you to get a better look at you. 

“I’m Crown Prince Oriles, what seems to be the trouble?” He asked you. 

“I was just about to ask that. Seriously? What in the world is going on?” You asked them. 

“One at a time.” Prince Oriles said before Suriel came forward. 

“This is Princess Benyana Auksa, she is the granddaughter of King Tehnore of the heavenly moura realm, but she is also the granddaughter of Supreme Chancellor Ramiel serving King Madan in the Crystal Realm in the crystal heavens, she is a daughter of Suchi, a mixed moura colony, two weeks ago a clan of orcs, ruled by a moura orc led an attack against Suchi, she led the counterstrike, she turned the tide of the attack and gained victory but in the commotion, she was captured and then enslaved by the moura orc who led the charge and he tethered her to himself using an enchanted silver anklet and an invisible curse which she is now in the possession of.” He explained as you pulled it out of a little purse as you presented it to him. 

“Detestable.” Prince Oriles scrunched up his face in disgust as everyone else nodded in agreement as you felt they all collectively looked at the ship and you could sense they were calculating how to wreck it. 

“Ok, that moura orc has no idea he’s part moura, someone in Suchi stole his moura cloak when he was an infant and has repeated that heinous crime with all of his siblings and even his mother and her sister and all of her children. Without those cloaks they are powerless, they don’t have any of the gifts moura’s do and restoring to them their birthright and give them justice is now my priority, my own two week enslavement is nothing compared to the 34 years they’ve had to endure without their birthright. It is my responsibility as a daughter to Suchi to clear it of this dishonor and exposing the real wrong do-er in all of this.” You insisted. 

“Even if that culprit is as close as a family member?” Suriel asked. 

“You say that as if you know exactly who it is?” You challenged before you swam up to him. 

“Is the culprit either my father or any of my brothers?” You asked as he grimaced. 

“Worse.” Suriel gulped. 

“How much worse? My mother or any of my sisters?” You demanded as all he did was swallow as his eyes got wide. “Are you fucking kidding me? Who is it?!” You demanded, the water around you starting to boil. 

“TriKeng is Rhoslan and her sister Kalnu’s father, it was he that took their cloaks and took all of their children’s cloaks to bury the fact that the only thing his seed will sprout in is an orc womb.” He answered. 

“And where are the cloaks?” You smirked, your hunch was right. 

“Buried deep under the ancient tree, impossible to dig up because the three has been growing around them for so long. He has used fae magic to imbed them in the tree.” Suriel answered. 

“And that tree is ancient and blessed and the whole colony would be against me destroying it to retrieve them.” You realized. TriKeng had wisdom and age on his side and many things working in his favor. But you were undeterred. 

“But back to you dearest.” Your grandmother interjected. “Your majesty, she’s also the daughter of my son Rhen, who is a siren halfing I bore when I lived on land about 50 years ago. She has also obviously inherited the siren heritage as well, and only last night she finally got to meet her oceanic family but was pulled away because of that damn tether. Which when her father Rhen came looking for her in the oceans only yesterday, that tether nearly strangled her and choked her when he got too close, what kind of monster puts such a thing on another creature? Especially one as precious, magnificent and treasured as she is?” She demanded trying to focus the blame back on Brock. 

“True.” Prince Oriles conceded. 

“So. Where is her captor?” He asked. 

“On that boat.” She pointed to the ship before you put the tether away before he lifted his trident to destroy it. 

“Wait, don’t do destroy the ship!” You requested as you reached out and pulled the trident back as he looked at you strangely as he noticed the trident obeyed you. The trident was only handable by royalty and this was proof you were of royal blood and therefore more than worthy to be his queen and his trident took to you well. 

“The ship’s captain is a good friend of mine, he’s been fighting for my freedom since he laid eyes on me and his crew is good, the whole fleet is great and are just innocent fishers in all this. Please don’t destroy all of them just to destroy one man.” You pleaded. 

“So mild and kind despite the abuse you suffered.” He cooed as he reached up and held your face in his hand, marveling at the softness of it. Softer than seasilk itself as your whole body just glowed with untapped power and potential. 

“I am the one wronged, therefore let the vengeance be mine and mine alone to get. Besides, I’m a much bigger fan of making love instead of war.” You countered, knowing that was the best way to wrap him around your finger as he was hooked like any good fish on the line. 

“Besides, right now, I feel my home is in Suchi unless a greater one can be offered to me. For now, bless all who wish to- to follow me home, and if my angelic and heavenly moura brethren will help me, let Suchi be the host of this year’s summer solstice festival.” You offered which appeased everyone before you broke the surface to tell the heavenly moura who were hovering over the surface of the water which they eagerly took before they kissed you excitedly and then left to rejoin the others in the cyclone before two doors opened up underwater to reveal an elven prince and a fae prince. 

‘You have got to be kidding me.’ You thought to yourself before you swam up to them. 

“Hello,” you greeted as both of them looked at you in awe. 

“Are you here to take me home?” You asked as they both nodded dumbly, unable to really speak because you were that bewitching as you swam even closer to them so that you could see both of them out of their portal doorways at the same time. 

“Well there’s no need, I already made a deal with the Hurricane Breaker Clan, when this fleet sails back to their harbor, they’ll escort her home.” Your grandmother revealed as a chill traveled down your spine. Fuck. The enemy of my enemy is my friend- well played grandma. 

“Yes, but when I do get home, I just asked the heavenly moura and the angels here if they would convince the elders of Suchi to hold the summer solstice there, it’s a moura coming of age festival and it will be mine this summer. If you wish for a chance to court me, court me as a moura first then as you wish to second, I swear I’ll give you an equal footing with everyone else.” You promised as both of them nodded dumbly. 

“Now, go and make ready for my arrival.” You urged them before you blew a kiss at them and that was more than enough for them both to close the doors and retreat out of there along with the angels before you addressed the merfolk that had remained. 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have a captain to reassure that he and his fleet aren’t in danger, and it would mean a lot to me if you didn’t try to harm them or the ship or the fleet, actually, you know what? Grandma, if you could go to Pantaou and Yingshen, and request that when the hurricane dies down, I’ll have the fleet drop the nets, if all of you would be oh so kind as to steer the various schools of fish into the nets and if you could get all the best crabs into the crab pods and stuff them full and make sure they don’t disturb the water dragon nest, and grandma if you could ask the dragons to just ice the holds for the fish. I want them to stay frozen long enough that we can go straight up the river to the foot of the mountain and have someone bring a crane and we can pull the blocks of iced fish right out of the boats and load them onto carts and I want the river deep and wide enough that the boats can sail right up the river with ease, Suchi has never had good seafood and they’ll need it for the festival especially. I want the Stormbreaker Clan to have all the proceeds from the sales of the fish. But if Hurricane Breaker clan will ensure their safe arrival and that no one from Stormbreaker will be harmed at all. Since Stormbreaker itself was led by someone who was simply misguided. A mistake that shouldn’t cost them everything, especially their lives, the sins of one shouldn’t endanger everyone else.” You insisted. 

“Consider it done.” Prince Oriles agreed. 

“Thank you so much.” You cooed to everyone as you swam around them, kissing all of them sweetly, grinning when they seemed to fall under a spell you weren’t knowingly casting but in this moment, you were going to use everything at your disposal to protect Brock and his family and clan.  

“Now, go get ready for the party of your lives in just a couple of short months.” You cooed before they all all swam away except for Prince Oriles and your grandma. 

“Grandma, was one of your terms to Hurricane Breaker Clan that they would feed you Brock?” You questioned. 

“You’re very astute.” She praised. “Well, you must fill your hunger differently, because Brock is mine and I will exact my vengeance how I see fit, I’m certainly powerful enough to exact it myself. Trust me to do this at least for myself.” You pleaded. 

“Oh come on,” she complained before you got infront of her face. 

“Grandma, swear to me you won’t harm him, or anyone else from Stormbreaker. Please.” You pleaded. 

“Fine, I swear.” She swore. 

“Thank you.” You thanked her before she swam down to meet with the dragons. 

“Till we meet again Prince Oriles.” You dismissed him but he didn’t take the hint, he just reached out and wrapped an arm around you and kissed you deeply as you kissed him back, hoping that would be enough to get rid of him. And while he tasted really good, it still just wasn’t quite right either. 

“Ok, enough, enough, I need to get back to keep my hosts from worrying too much about me, but I look forward to seeing you again soon.” You cooed before you gave him another parting kiss and made sure he was gone and out of sight before you swam over to Cugas’ little row boat and he nearly shot you with the harpoon before you put your hands up in surrender. 

“Woah, don’t shoot, it’s just me,” you offered before you climbed into the boat and changed back into yourself, spitting all the water that had been in your lungs over the side of the boat before you changed back. 

“Are you ok?” He asked worriedly. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just stopped a world war.” You answered as you wrung out your hair. 

“Is that what that was?” He asked as he started to row back to the ship. 

“Yeah, so, uh, we’re both blessed and fucked.” You leveled at him. 

“Yeah, I figured. Brethren?” He mused. 

“Ha! Oh yeah, almost all of them in fact, so come to find out, my mother somehow has two fathers and a third adopted one, one is a very high ranking angel in the crystal heavens that encircle the planet, her other father is King Tehnore of heavenly moura who they both have finally, after 45 years of her life have finally come forward to claim her however Elder TriKeng has been my adopted grandfather ever since we moved to Suchi. So now once this festival hurricane dies tomorrow, fifty legions of heavenly moura and a hundred legions of angels are going to escourt this fleet all the way back to the harbor and then back to Suchi.” You informed him. 

“Fuck.” Cugas gawfed. 

“Oh but that’s not all, Suchi is going to host this summer solstice. And not just all the mountain moura will be in attendance, all the angels, heavenly moura, elves, fae and merfolk are coming because now Prince Oriles down there is going to gift every merperson the ability to come out of the water and be on dry land for as long as they want to to also attend the solstice in Suchi.” You revealed. 

“Holy shit.” Cugas blinked in surprise. 

“Yep, and now because I’m now the claimed granddaughter of a king of heavenly moura that makes me a princess and because I’m also part angel and part siren, I’m now apparently the most wanted bride everyone has ever seen in their lives and no man, well other than you- can look at me without practically falling in heads over heels for me and all of them want Brock dead because he’s the only thing between them and me. Do you have any idea what I had to do to keep him alive?!” You complained which made Cugas grin as he rowed. 

“I can’t even imagine.” Cugas answered. 

“Brock isn’t gonna like this but it’s the only way to keep him alive, much less your clan alive, one heavenly moura could burn the clan to the dirt, fifty thousand of them...much less a hundred thousand angels they could scorch the continent a million times over, there’s no way Stormbreaker would survive.” You fretted as you just sat there and held your head in your hands as he rowed the boat back to the ship. 

“So you said something about blessed or was that the blessed part?” He asked. 

“No, that was the fucked part. The blessed part is once the hurricane dies- drop the nets and the sirens will herd all the fish you can candle into the nets and drop the pods and they’ll place them around the dragon nest and personally herd all the lobsters and crab into them. And then once everything is on board, the dragons will ice the holds because I know for certain that Suchi and the other mountain colonies would give you all the gold you can stand for that fish, all we need is a way to pick the iced blocks out of the ship and put them on carts and by the time the carts make it up the pass, the ice should melt enough that the fish will be easy to get and easy to sell and no one will get sick eating spoiled seafood.” You explained. 

“Oh that’s a genius move!” He praised. 

“Thank you.” You smiled. 

“Wait, that was your idea?” He asked. 

“Yeah, while they’re so eager to please me for some unknown reason- might as well maneuver things to the best possible advantage. Besides, I have someone in Suchi I want you to meet.” You grinned mischievously. 

“Oh yeah? Who?” He asked curiously. 

“My brother Adris.” You grinned. 

“How much is he like you?” He asked a goofy grin started to spread on his face. 

“More than he likes to admit, but you offer him my room on your ship and offer to take him to the sea to meet his oceanic family while you fish again or better yet, once we’re in Suchi, you feed him seafood like you fed me seafood and he’ll be trying to choke on your cock for dessert.” You revealed. 

“Is he as pretty as you?” Cugas asked eagerly. 

“Oh, much prettier. And you are so his type. Huge powerful muscles, captain of your fleet and a heart of gold and the fact that you’ve been fighting for my freedom since day one is going to go a very long way and your sympathy and empathy and easy going nature when you’re off the ships and in private are going to be huge draws for him. Like he’ll teach you all the dances for the solstice and I’m pretty sure he’d like to stake a claim before the solstice even starts so you can’t be stolen away by a prettier face with finer dance moves. By the way are you a bottom or a top? Because he’s a bottom.” You revealed. 

“Top.” Cugas couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yes,” you cheered, having wanted to play matchmaker with Cugas since you met him as he managed to row the boat back to the ship and the crew was able to bring the boat back up to the deck and once you got on the deck you went back to your room where you laid out the rope and the chain, just looking at them though made your anger rage before you went to Brock’s room to get your blanket back, grateful he wasn’t in there and cleaned up the rest of your room, hanging up the wet clothing and towels so they would dry out as your side of the ship was facing the storm before Brock slipped into the room. 

“Oh good, you’re safe,” Brock blew out a breath of relief before he hugged you from behind and while you wanted to enjoy it, your anger started to boil before you pushed him off of you.

“Get off!” You grunted as you pushed him away, a feat made much easier with your returned strength and new abilities before you got his wet clothes off the line and pushed them into his chest. 

“What, I don’t, I don’t understand…” He answered as he looked at you in confusion. 

“I am so angry at you right now and I need time and space to think ok?!” You snapped at him as you started to aggressively clean your room, a trait you learned from your mother. 

“Well, let’s talk it out. We can figure this out.” He insisted as he got a chair and sat down and you wanted to rip his head off of his body but instead you grabbed the silver rope and the silver belt and lead and threw them at him. 

“Tell me exactly what those fucking things are!” You roared but he caught them before they could collide with his face. 

“It doesn’t ma- ah!” He flinched as he dropped them because they burned him. 

“Oh, this works.” You grinned before you took the chain and wrapped it around his wrist before it tied itself snugly. 

“For once, don’t lie to me, tell me the truth and the whole truth, what are these things?” You demanded as the chain got long enough that you could walk across the room to get a chair before you sat down far enough away that he was out of reach. 

“They’re…” He began as he tried to take it off but it just tied itself around him like a snake and you just shook your head. 

“Wow, you don’t really love me do you? Because if you really did, you’d be honest with me without me having use magical means.” You spat as he just looked wounded that you would say such a thing. 

“I do love you!” He insisted. 

“Then why did you enslave me?!” You demanded. 

“Because there was no other way to keep you!” He finally confessed.  

“Look, I was... am…, fuck, still very desperate ok? You’re a moura, the most angelic being to walk the face of the earth and I know I don’t deserve you in my life and the world thinks that orcs are barbaric stupid meatheads who only know war and fighting and that’s not true! My clan is young and small and we’re trying to abandon the old ways so that we can embrace a new way of living that doesn’t involve us risking our lives for things like food or clothing.” He explained. 

“So how does enslaving me help with any of that?” You asked. 

“Because you’re my mate! Mates are supposed to walk with you through life and you’re supposed to help and support each other and all anyone ever sees when they look at me is either someone to fear or someone to manipulate. All the women in my clan all want me just so that they can be warchieftess, everyone outside of my clan wants nothing to do with me because I’m an orc and my people have been the enemy of everyone for all of history and I can’t be Warchief without a warcheiftess or even a warlord by my side and my dad is getting old and I’m running out of time and our enemies are growing stronger but we’re growing weaker and I need you to help me and I know I fucked up. I know I did, and I will always regret the way I did things with you until the day I die. But this was the only way I knew how to even get to you because you’re special! You’re supposed to be different from everyone else! You have magic and abilities and power that I can only dream of and ever since the Shaman showed me a vision of you I haven’t been able to hardly eat or sleep or anything until you could be a part of my life and it was like I was possessed and I knew if I didn’t get to you sooner than later, before the summer solstice that you were going to choose someone else and I’d be lost and my clan would implode or dissolve and our territory would be lost and we would all just end up being slaves to others and I can’t let that happen, my family has worked too hard their whole lives just for everything to be lost because Suchi wouldn’t even open it’s gates to us. Every successful kingdom has a moura ruling by their side and they’re all just...so happy and their kingdoms thrive and peace envelops them and they have no problems and all they know is ease and success.” He explained, oh if only he knew the treachery within the royal moura households. 

“I went to the Shaman who told me all about the moura to begin with and he told me that my soulmate was a woman by the name of Benyana who was more beautiful than the moon and the stars in the heavens or the sunrise and sunset and he gave me a vision of you and of us and how happy we would all be and a vision of what our clan would become with you as warchieftess and how we would handle each problem together and find solutions and that you were a daughter of Suchi, a moura who would unlock all those secrets and gifts and would bless the clan and we would be the first of the orcs to lead a new way of life and that the clan would reap from Suchi. All I had to do was go to the gates and that you would come to me and all I would have to do is reach out and touch you and you would be mine.” He explained. 

“So I went and I was stopped at the base of the mountain and the merchants stopped me from even climbing the trail and the other orc clans thought I was a scout for an army and nearly killed me before I had to flee for my life and so I came back home and regrouped and went back five times, each time, the merchants would send word to Suchi and the gate would be closed by the time we got up there and then we met with the elders who cursed us before they would even hear us out. And I just had had enough, so we surrounded the city at the base of the mountain so they couldn’t warn Suchi of our arrival and the shaman gave us all magic spells in glass jars, all we had to do was break the jars when we were at the gate and weapons big enough and strong enough to break the walls would come out and when we broke the jars, trebuchets came spilling out and piles of meteorite balls and so we attacked.” He revealed. 

“And I knew it would take longer for you to like me, let alone love me but it was the only way I knew how to get to you and when I heard your voice giving orders, I froze and I nearly died but I knew your voice like my own and when you came out of the flames at me I knew that that was my chance so I called to you and you just hovered there as a bird so I figured you were just a shapeshifting moura and once I had you, I ordered the retreat and when I got back I went to the Shaman again and he tied the silver tether around the silver cuff and chain and it disappeared and told me to put this on you and that it would keep you with me and it protect both of us and would come off when you loved me and when it came off, you wouldn’t fly away, you would stay with me because you wanted to.” He revealed and your heart broke. 

“Do you have any idea what the ramifications of taking me will be?” You questioned your sternness softened considerably.  

“Well I figured you’re gonna be resentful for a while.” He admitted. 

“Yes, that’s true, but this is now so much bigger than just you and me Brock. Look. I’m not just a normal run of the mill moura, since I left, my mother went back to the heavens where she proved out to be the king’s daughter. Which makes her a princess and makes me a princess and therefore- worth something to them, to all of them, apparently. Tomorrow, when the hurricane festival ends- fifty thousand heavenly moura will surround this ship and escort me home. If that wasn’t all, my mother has two fathers- don’t ask me how, I don’t know, but my mother’s second father is somehow an angel, who is a grand chancellor of the crystal heavens, who is sending a hundred thousand angels to also escort me home. One heavenly moura could burn the clan to ashes. One crystal angel can destroy the continent, they are sending enough fire power to destroy the planet thousands, if not millions of times over. And if that wasn’t all, my grandmother, my father’s mother, the giant siren three times as big as the ship? She made a deal behind my back with Hurricane Breaker Clan who will be at the docks waiting for us, who will also be tasked with escorting me home and then she demanded that once I’m home, they escort you back to her by whatever means necessary where she gets to eat you and I can tell you now there isn’t a place you go and run away from or sail away to that you won’t be found. And if that wasn’t enough, someone- if I had to guess, Elder TriKeng, my adopted grandfather- has also tasked a Fae Prince and an Elven Prince to come to my rescue too and they’ve been searching all the realms and found me in the oceans just now, each of them has an army a hundred times bigger than Hurricane Breaker. And if that wasn’t enough, I now have a merman prince who controls the literal oceans trying to court me too. You may have captured me but there is no way you get to keep me and live.” You implored as you scooted closer to him to grasp his hands. “Do you know what I had to do to just get everyone to agree to not kill you immediately? I had to agree to give everyone a shot at courting me, and I literally had to pull my grandma’s hand back from crushing this ship and drowning the crew just to kill you and I had to pull back Prince Oriles’ trident back from destroying the ship to kill you too. I may be strong and powerful but even I can’t fight all of them off. I’m sorry. It’s literally you against the rest of the world for me at this point. And I know for certain that one wrong move on my part- everything turns to shit and everyone dies. Fae’s don’t take rejection well like they would murder everyone in my family, in Suchi and in your clan if they find anything offensive because Fae have thier own set of rules and they are harsh and deadly. I had to agree to at least court all of them just so they didn’t kill you or at the very least the rest of your clan.” You revealed as Brock just stared at you, an unreadable expression on his face before he turned and thought for a moment. 

“Is there any way you can get- in writing, the rules and steps associated with each way each of them courts? Is there any way you can set out the definitions and parameters to be courted? Like no matter the outcome- none of the competitors can harm either you or your family or your colony or the other competitors, make it as fair of a game as possible? But one that I can play and hopefully win?” He proposed as you blinked in surprise at him before you promptly launched yourself into his arms and kissed him all over which made him laugh as he held you, the chain easily falling from him as he held you and kissed you back and hugged you tight. Still, just so happy you came back to him. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok with that and keep your cool? Because I’m pretty sure part of every courting ritual is a coupling session.” You winced. 

“It’s your body to do with as you please, as long as your heart stays mine, I don’t care.” Brock insisted. 

“Well now my body is mine.” You chuckled. 

“Yeah, I know, I made a huge mistake and I should have found another way to go about it and I will be forever sorry about it and maybe one day I’ll be able to make it up to you.” He apologized which made you smile before you ground down on his hardening member starting to poke at your center before you realized- sex with him should be the benchmark moving forward. 

“It’s going to be ok, we’ll get through this together ok?” He proposed as he broke for air. 

“Sex then paperwork?” You proposed. 

“Deal.” He laughed as he picked you up and carried you to bed and pulled off the covers as your moura cloak became a full body tattoo once again before he rolled you over to fuck you in the doggy styel position as you made sure your neck craned up so that your skin would cover over your own moura mark at the base of your head but a good back scratch had you curving your spine the other way so he would scratch all of it, which of course, had your hair falling forward and just as he entered, he froze. 

"What the fuck…" He breathed before his finger reached out and touched your gold moura mark with a ghost like softness. 

Fuck. He found your mark. 

"OK I can explain…" You began.

[clockworkswans]

thoughts on mots:7?? *eyes emoji*

aaaaaaah it feels like SO LONG since we’ve had music, even though we get so much content!  i feel so spoilt lmao.

think i’m gonna skip the tracks from persona, they’re all legends but i’ll end up making this ten pages long otherwise!

under the cut cause it’s looooooong, oops.

interlude shadow - this had some serious challenge coming after its god-tier predecessor, seesaw, ngl, but WOW. yoongi’s solo songs have such a unique style despite being different genres/moods and his lyrics are always what i especially look forward to diving into and shadow was no different! a lot of people say this too but the autotune works SO WELL for him and the way he plays with the rhythms in shadow is amazing. and that last section?? EXPLOSIVE. that’s gonna slay on tour oh my god.

black swan - i wish i’d made notes when it first came out but it took me a while to get used to this sound because it was so interesting and haunting. the topics in this song are so relatable and frightening tbh, it’s something i feel a lot recently, that fear of losing passion for your hobbies and job, etc, and surrendering to the darker emotions of giving up on those dreams (wow, dark, CHILL). after seeing the first performance of it as well!! omg!! some of their absolute BEST choreo yet, easily.

filter - mr. park. JIMIN. I was not prepared for this song and it’s so sexy and smooth and i want to scream thinking about choreo for this on tour, wtf man. this song was my jam right away!! the latin vibes!! rumba/salsa in a club at 2am vibes!! also idk if this is misreading the lyrics but i love the lowkey dark/seductive undertone of making anyone fall in love with you/celeb perception, etc. (probably reading way too much into it lol but still, loved the lyrics). But yes, WOW. Can he let me choreo pls?? i want him to have a CHAIR and a suit and tie and to absolutely destrOY us.

my time - before i go into this, i wanna say how much i loved the vocal line doing completely different stuff and defying all my expectations. the mood of this song is so unique and the slow rhythm with his just…absolutely gorgeous emotive voice makes it so refreshing. Also!! something i found really cool is jungkook doing stuff that’s more complex in emotion and a bit sadder/darker? he’s always had the happy golden perfect boyTM vibe and that’s cute af but also this song lets him be a bit confusing and mature and lost for once. This song hit me quite personally too because the lyrics about time and distance hit close to home as i have friends and loved ones moving out of my life and i just wanna feel not so stuck. I can’t WAIT to see what kind of staging he’ll do for this?? it could be anything lol, i really can’t guess.

louder than bombs - legit EVERYTHING i wanted from a troye/bts collaboration project oh my god. The music and build-up for this song is so bittersweet and haunting, the VOCALS oh my god?? truly stole my breath, wow. the rap line verses had some seriously hard-hitting lyrics too, the lower ranges of namjoon and yoongi made my heart STOP. (something i’ve always loved with bts is the way they play with flow through members taking different parts, which sounds so obvious lol, it’s what you do with a group, but i always love the way bts uses their members’ tones/styles to create a great mix in a song). I feel like this song truly sets up the recurring theme of acknowledging and embracing the good and bad, the wholeness of it is really vulnerable and - pun intended - explosive! it reminds me of the ‘sing louder to drown out the pain’ kind of mindset. sometimes you just gotta sing louder and sadder and ache.

ON - i actually don’t have much to say on this one because it’s just SO BTS and perfect for a title track and will absolutely GO OFF live. also the choreo is hard as hell lmao GOOD LUCK PEOPLE TRYING TO LEARN IT. also i’m gonna say it alongside everyone else but…JUNGKOOK’S HOLY BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! - *aroused and scared.* this beat!!!! slaps!!! rapline songs can never fail tbh, also….i think i already love this more than outro: tear and we haven’t even had a performance lol. I don’t have any coherent thoughts to add other than HOLYYY SHIIIIT. This will be so fierce live??? i’m gonna get whiplash headbanging probably. also…can they PLEASE do choreo for that last bit??? please. please.

zero o’clock - lol some songs just make you ugly sob and then you read the lyrics and ABSOLUTELY SOB. this little asshole right here came for my entire heart. it’s pretty spot on for how i feel right now: just get through the day and wait for the next and try and be a bit happier. the bittersweet, hopeful tone is so lovely and really touching. it’s heartbreaking ngl, but in a healing, therapeutic way. it’s so soft and mellow without being too air-y which is pretty hard to get right tbh.

inner child - my favourite vocal line solo!!! i’m always so in love with taehyung’s solo songs tbh, his voice and songs are always my cup of tea, thank you for being a true hopeless romantic sir. this song is SO end-of-indie-movie and i’m completely hooked on it already, i walk to work and keep looping it and it makes me smile and tear up just thinking about hearing it live already. I love how it’s a love letter to his younger self, comforting, sad and so full of heart and acceptance. We all find it hard to look back but to have a song that says it’s okay to be proud of every version of yourself and your growth is AMAZING. i haven’t stopped thinking of the ‘we gonna change’ and i’ll give you my world’ lines. truly magical.

friends - shut up this is the SWEETEST SONG EVER. so my best friend is finally moving away from the hometown we’ve shared for 11 years and i am very vulnerable about it right now, so this coming out when it did?? a bit of an attack lol. but it really made me smile and be SO GRATEFUL to her, and to everyone else in my life and the bonds i have around me. jimin and tae’s friendship is the sweetest thing and to have them release a platonic love song??? to sing on tour together?? after growing up and becoming legends together? wow. talk about bff goals. the adorable details in the lyrics make it so personal and genuine, and the crowd-chanting bits in the chorus are gonna sound awesome live. also not to get sappy and cheesy but this also makes me think of all the friends people have made in this fandom and community and how we’re all enjoying this awesome thing together? love that, man.

moon - THAT’S THE LOML, KIM SEOKJIN, SLAYING AGAIN. awake and epiphany were both so epic and emotional in the traditional ballad genre, so hearing this was just?? SO COOL. it’s so happy and sweet and shows off his high range effortlessly. this has such an addictive melody, i kept humming it at work today and driving myself nuts lmao. it makes me think of summer days and hanging out with friends or on your own in the sun, reading. i also love how he expanded on ‘beauty’ as it’s always a word thrown at him lol, but he made it so innocent and lovely, like idk if he’s fed up of everyone yelling handsome at him and embarrassing him lmao but it was so wholesome of him to then turn around and make a song about appreciating subtle beauty and the bonds between army and bts (god i’m LAME, blame this album).

respect - this song’s such a VIBE. love the founders of bts doing a song together, god, just bros being bros and jamming together?? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. I didn’t realise how much i’d love this duo together but it’s so natural and you can see how much they love writing and working together. the lyrics are so fun and snarky and the throwback old-school bts vibe is PERFECT. it’s that clever thing they do of re-visiting older works and combining it with your present self to make something familiar yet different. so so cool.

we are bulletproof: eternal - omg so the first line of this i started laughing so hard because i was SO SURE it would be a Concert Jam™. then i sobered up pretty quickly and cue the tears and emotions lmao. This song gives me heartbeat/sea/mikrokosmos energy, it falls in that ‘epic emotional singalong’ genre they do beautifully. you bet your ass i’m gonna be bawling at this on the tour. i lost it crying in that last bridge when they say ‘why are you still walking with us’, it just hit me that wow, i’ve been a part of this journey and tbh, it’s gonna stay with me for life. the emotions packed into this song are overwhelming af whilst still being a celebration of the 7 years bts have been together, and the individual achievements too, of them and also armys? idk it feels very collective ‘us’ vibe and it’s beautiful. 

outro: ego - READY, SET AND BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAP OF THE SOUL MAP OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAL THAT’S MY EGOOOOOOOOOO. Oh my god, this song just slays everything tbh. When it came out i could not stop repeating it for the entire week and i’m still so in love with it. By far one of my favourite solos of the album! it’s so colourful, clever and A DANCE BOP. It’s everything about why i bias jhope and his style is freaking awesome. 

okay wow, all done!!!!!

[princesssarisa]

Frozen II  – my thoughts on Elsa’s outcome (warning – long and full of spoilers)

At this point, my only real objection to the ending is the fact that separation endings have been way, way overdone in the past year. If Ralph Breaks the Internet, Toy Story 4, How to Train Your Dragon 3, Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, Steve’s outcome in Avengers: Endgame, and the finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic didn’t exist, my feelings would be almost fully positive. Especially because Elsa and Anna will still see each other all the time, they just don’t live under the same roof anymore.

I also have a minor quibble about the idea that growing up means you “need” to live apart from your siblings or extended family (not that the movie ever says that, it’s just a cultural norm). And when I read comments from fans saying “Yes, it’s slightly bittersweet, but that’s realistic, it’s a mature ending,” I feel a little sad that not even Disney is letting kids believe in happily ever after anymore. This applies to the whole separation/bittersweet ending trend throughout the past year’s family media. Again, these are minor issues.

But as a person on the autism spectrum who, like so many, feels a connection to Elsa, I love the way things turn out for her.

First of all, there’s the fact that for all of Elsa’s popularity, the protagonist of the original Frozen is Anna, and Elsa, though certainly not the villain, is, in terms of story structure, the main antagonist. Throughout most of the first film, her powers are a deadly force to be overcome – the endless winter must be stopped and Anna’s frozen heart must be thawed. Yes, the beauty of her powers is also highlighted and she fully realizes and shares that beauty in the end, but for the most part her magic is still a negative presence in the story. There’s a reason why so many viewers see it as analogous to a mental disorder.

Also, as many have pointed out, “Let It Go” has a bit of a Misaimed Fandom. Meta joke about how overplayed it is aside, it’s no wonder that in the sequel Elsa cringes at the memory of herself singing it. Yes, it’s an empowering anthem and it’s a good thing that she finally stops suppressing her powers, but it’s a bad thing that she turns her back on her people, her responsibilities and her sister, and while she’s reveling in her new freedom, she’s unwittingly burying Arendelle in snow. In the end she has to go back and give up some of that freedom, and even though she’s happy, it can still ring bittersweet to those of us who connect with the song.

The analogy is imperfect, but I do think of how my own situation with mild autism compares to Elsa’s. My huge emotions, panic attacks and ferocious meltdowns, so hard to control (see the Intense World Theory), and my difficulty with social interactions and playing by society’s rules in general. The concept of a person born with destructive magical powers tied to her emotions is an apt analogy. Her years behind closed doors bring to mind my own introversion and social anxiety. I hear “Conceal, don’t feel” and think of all times I’ve been instructed or scolded to keep my unruly emotions and odd instincts under control. Like Elsa’s powers, my autism has some beauty in it too: my intelligence, creativity, good memory, etc. But it’s still a disorder that society isn’t built for, and generally it’s something I need to mask around others. Also like Elsa, I’ve struggled with guilt and with feeling like a burden to my family. I know I’m not alone in relating to her for these reasons.

So imagine my vicarious thrill over “Show Yourself.” When Elsa finally learns the origin of her powers and learns that she was born that way for a reason – that it isn’t a curse, or just a random difference, but a gift. When she steps fully into her power for the first time, and unlike in “Let It Go,” it’s unambiguously a wonderful thing, both for her and for others. When she finally fully embraces self-love, realizing that everything she thought she needed from the outside is already within her (“You are the one you’ve been waiting for”) and that it’s time to fully show herself to the world. When she goes on to truly “see what she can do” and “test the limits and break through,” as she once sang, but this time in a heroic way, saving her people from her grandfather’s past sins – not from her own mistakes for a change. The moment I first learned about the plot point of the dam and the tidal wave that would destroy Arendelle if it fell, I was thrilled by the thought of Elsa using her powers to stop that tidal wave. The character whom we misfits relate to thoroughly leaves behind her old “sympathetic antagonist” territory and becomes a true heroine, taking her raw power that once endangered the kingdom and using it to save it.

(This is another reason why I don’t believe the rumors that she was originally supposed to stay frozen and that her revival is a Focus Group Ending. In the first place, what would be the point of her glorious self-actualization if it were only leading to her death? In the second place, who would stop the flood?)

I’d love to have the kind of experience she does. I wish I could learn that everything “disordered” about me is actually a gift and that fully being myself will bring good things both to me and to others. Maybe someday this will happen, but I don’t see it happening any time soon, so to see it happen to Elsa is incredibly therapeutic.

Then we have her becoming the forest’s guardian in the end. At first the idea made me uncomfortable because I thought it might seem to say that people who are different belong outside of human society. But the fact that she still regularly visits Arendelle and evidently stays close to the Northuldra too puts that concern at ease. I also understand why some people who relate to her are upset that she gives up her throne, because it was therapeutic to see someone so different and insecure not only find love and acceptance, but be able to rule a kingdom too. I agree that if she had wanted to stay queen forever, that would have been perfectly fine. But I think it’s perfectly reasonable that in the end it’s not what she wants.

Isn’t it arguably a bit of a waste for Elsa’s epic powers, which can alter landscapes, build castles, create life or take it, etc., to be confined to making pretty decorations and skating rinks? Isn’t it reasonable that after her self-actualization, she prefers a life’s purpose where her powers are central, since they’ve always been her chief defining feature and shaped most of who she is? As opposed to the life of a queen, where they’re only incidental? I can’t help but remember how much I struggled in school, from first grade through the first two years of college, when my hyper-focused passions for the arts, music and stories (the hyper-focus being an autistic trait, the passions being tied to the hyper-emotional sensitivity I’ve mentioned) had to be treated as just “what I do for fun in my spare time,” while math (UGH!!!), science, and other things i had no interest in and no talent for were treated as my life’s purpose. I also think of all the people in mundane corporate and blue-collar jobs, which I’m grateful every day that I’ve been lucky enough to avoid so far. If they were to find new jobs that reflect their greatest talents and unlock their full potential, wouldn’t we want them to take those new jobs? This is why I’m happy that Elsa’s new life purpose revolves around nature and magic.

Yes, I’ve read the complaints from some fans that Elsa has “lost some of her humanity,” and that’s fair. But let’s not be too quick to equate “humanity” with normality and “inhumanity” with difference. even if said difference is supernatural magic. Another reason why I like Elsa’s outcome is that Disney hasn’t always had the best track record with misfit characters who remind me of myself. I love Beauty and the Beast, especially from a feminist viewpoint, but when I see myself in the Beast, I sometimes feel awkward about his arc. I know they probably didn’t mean to code him as autistic, but still – a misunderstood loner outcast, to whom neatness, grooming and manners don’t come naturally, who struggles with the most basic social skills, who fails to understand others’ emotions at first, and who has massive meltdowns of rage when he’s under stress? How can I not see it? The fact that his journey consists of his being “tamed,” learning to suppress all his raw emotions and rough edges to please Belle, and that his happy ending is to become fully normal by becoming human again, doesn’t make him much fun to relate to. Give me a character like Elsa, who learns that her differences are her strength.

Elsa’s ending is just what I wanted for her, because it’s what I want for myself. Identifying with her is a more enjoyable thing than ever now.

[ficrecsforklaine]

Your favourite blangst fics? Got addicted to them lately

I’ve never been very good at identifying what constitutes as angst and what doesn’t, so I am probably going to miss a ton of really good blangst fics with this rec list. But here’s some fics that I love that I’ve seen classified as blangst:

You’re My Home by DreamingKate [AO3](18,602 words rated Mature)

Cooper and Blaine were always there for each other after their father beat Blaine until he had brain damage. It’s always been just the two of them so when Blaine meets Kurt and falls in love, Cooper doesn’t know what to do. He’s too scared to let go. 

Broken and Bent by hazelandglasz [AO3](3,468 words rated Explicit/NC17)

Blaine Anderson wears all his scars on his skin, for everyone to see - literally. He’d survived a hate crime, an abusive relationship, heartbreaks, and so many other things that he stopped counting them. But all his scars and wounds are visible, which makes his life even harder than it is.

That’s when he meets up-and-coming photographer, Kurt Hummel, who’s able to see the real beauty behind the many scars. He wants to take photos of Blaine, who’s scared to say yes, afraid of everyone and how they are going to treat him.

Kurt makes sure Blaine understand just how beautiful he is, inside and out, helping him through some of his worst days, having one-on-one sessions with him, taking photos to show him how he sees him, and maybe, as the night of Kurt’s first big exhibition comes nearer, Blaine starts loving himself again. And one morning, in the future, his scars starts fading.

A Dream or a Song by lovetheblazer [AO3](7,896 words rated Teen&Up)

You sleepwalk a lot and sometimes you knock on my door so I have to lead you back to your apartment. Kurt/Blaine Alternative Meeting. 

How to Care for a Sad Blaine by lovetheblazer [AO3](8,959 words rated Teen&Up)

Blaine’s having the worst week ever and Kurt’s the only one who can fix him. Based on this text post about how to care for a sad person: 1. Lay blanket out 2. Pick up sad person 3. Lay sad person in blanket 4. Roll them like a sushi 5. Place sad roll on bed/couch/comfy place 6. Hug roll close 7. Put on rolls favorite movies 8. Feed roll snacks 9. Make sure roll is well hydrated. Tears make roll dehydrated 10. Happy lil sushi roll.

Bittersweet Memories by Zavocado[FFN] (110,693 words rated T)

Blaine lost his best friend to popularity and social status his freshmen year of high school. After everything that’s happened he can’t forget what Kurt meant to him. And despite losing what meant the world to him, Kurt can’t let go of their memories. AU

Just Listen by foreternityblue[FFN] (93,415 words rated T)

Blaine was the social enigma of McKinley, until an unkown incident in sophomore year that drove him into isolation. Kurt is the bullied gay kid who was always interested in Blaine. When they’re paired for a project, things might be uncovered. Klaine AU

Stop Loss by YourFairyGodfather [FFN] (264,032 words rated Mature)

AU. Kurt Hummel never went to McKinley, developing his talents at Carmel as the protégé of Jesse St James instead. Everything is going according to plan, until the day a beautiful, damaged transfer student named Blaine throws his world upside down.

A Sky Full of Stars by msalexiscriss [AO3](59,009 words rated Mature)

Klaine AU. Blaine is a wealthy and successful businessman, and Kurt is an artist, both established in New York City. They meet under very unexpected circumstances and are forced to live their lives together for a few months. During that time, they discover that despite being completely different they are quite compatible and realize that sometimes life gives you what you were not looking for, but certainly needing…love.

I Married You by Anonymous [AO3](47,891 words rated Teen&Up)

Blaine Anderson had dreamed of getting married for as long as he could remember. On the verge of marrying his fiancé Peter, Blaine’s best friends Sam and Tina take him to Las Vegas for his bachelor party. They end the evening at one of the hottest nightclubs on the Strip for drinking and dancing. Blaine wakes up in a hotel room, hung-over, a ring on his finger and a marriage certificate on the bedside table. The person next to him in bed? Movie star Kurt Hummel. Unfortunately, what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. News of their wedding is leaked to the press, and Blaine must navigate his newly changed life while trying to hold on to Peter. This is the story of how Blaine Anderson found the love of his life while at his bachelor party.

A Change of Heart by GleekMom & StarGleekBelle [AO3](194,364 words rated Mature)

Badboy!Blaine AU: Blaine Anderson and his crew rule the school while Kurt and his friends just try to stay out of the line of fire. That all changes when Kurt and Blaine form an unlikely friendship. Will they break down each others’ walls and learn to trust one another, or are old habits too hard to break?

Fire With Fireby mmerainbows [FFN] (198,842 words rated Mature)

Badboy!Blaine (S2/3 AU) William McKinley High School has its jocks, its geeks, its preps, and its skanks. It also has the one kid even the bullies stay out of the way for - Blaine Anderson. No one crosses him, and Kurt knows to keep out of his way and do what he wants, whether that’s supplying Blaine with a pencil for French class when it’s demanded of him, or just staying quiet.

To create a homeby EmisFritish [AO3](98,675 words rated Mature)

Blaine Anderson had a plan. He was going to finish his last year of college, and become a music teacher. . However, when an event occurs and changes all his life, Blaine learns that plans change, and it’s sometimes for the better.This is an alternate-universe and alternate meeting fic, where neither Blaine nor Kurt have the same backstory that they did on the show.

Invisible by cosmiccastawayuk[FFN] (109,171 words rated Mature)

Blaine Anderson has always felt sidelined his whole life. Now, at Dalton Academy for Boys he feels completely invisible. That is, till one day he meets a new transfer student, Kurt Hummel. He seems, not only to see Blaine, but actually interested in him on a personal level. Can this boy be Blaine’s dream come true? Can he make Blaine visible at last? Rated M for later chapters.

McKinley HallsBy: Klainer0801 [FFN] (75,449 words ratedMature)

Badboy!Blaine fiction. Kurts POV. Kurt Hummel arrives at school to find a new boy with a bad status has transferred to McKinley: Blaine Anderson. The pair soon get into a LOT of trouble. This is my contribution to Klaine Week, Day 2. Contains smut/slash.

[azfellandco]

Hiya! So, please feel free to ignore this, but I just listened to Good Omens for the first time with considerable enjoyment, and I was wondering whether you have/know of any good fic rec lists for the book?

hi and welcome and i’m glad you enjoyed the book!! 

General

Something Ordinary by literature_and_ocean_waves (9k)

Summary: “You kidnapped the Antichrist?!”Aziraphale’s shrill screech echoed harshly throughout the dingy bookshop.

Crowley looked sheepishly at his expensive, snakeskin shoes. “Kidnap is such a strong word,” he said. “I rather like liberate.”

This is following what, if you ask me, is a plot this fandom can never write enough of: what if Crowley had kept baby Adam and he and Aziraphale had tried to raise him together? 

Never Mind the Gravitation by Argyle (2k)

Summary: Sure, there’s life on Mars. But Crowley can hardly call it living.

This is not as angsty as that summary makes it sound. …okay it is a little bit, but in a bittersweet kind of way, and it’s so funny as well. This is one of those fics that has the tone of the book down really well and it takes what I feel is an inherently sad concept (humanity moving off world and the places Aziraphale and Crowley call home changing again) and makes it feel hopeful and optimistic. Also scifi is my real true love so like… of course I love this fic. 

Even Without Looking by maniacalmole (18k)

Summary: Aziraphale gets requested by the heavenly court to prove that romantic love is real, and makes a valiant effort. He’s read about it so many times, in all the most romantic books. How hard could it be?

Everything maniacalmole has written is brilliant, funny, whimsical, and so in character, but this one is my favorite. 

Habitual by goingsparebutwithprecision (4k)

Summary: In which Crowley wears lipstick and Aziraphale is flustered.

The mutability of angelic/demonic gender and sexual presentation is one of my favorite things about these characters and about writing for them, and this fic is one of the first I read that got me really thinking about it. 

Guests On Memory Lane by Holoxam (5k)

Summary: “Whatever you go around telling yourself, angel,” Crowley said over his morning-coffee, “some of us have to work for a living. The girls and I can get into some shenanigans around the shops, you know.”Aziraphale looked up from his Telegraph, and sent Crowley a wary glance. He was torn between asking Crowley if he remembered his fruitless attempts at influencing the presumed antichrist back in the 1980’s, and sternly telling him off for even thinking about attempting to corrupt humans at such a young age.The Dynamic Duo babysit Anathema’s cousins for the weekend.

Crowley and Aziraphale being friends with Anathema? Yes, please. Crowley and Aziraphale taking care of children? Yes, please. 

Teen

Five Times Crowley Wanted Aziraphale by Mitsuhachi (3k)

Summary: Wanting and wanting and wanting, in many ways over many years.

This and it’s sequel, Five Times Aziraphale Wanted Crowley (The One More Night Remix) (rated M, mind the tags) are one of my favorite fics in this fandom. I love historical stuff especially that traces Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship over vast tracks of time and this delivers on that in a huge way. 

here i am, leaving you clues by Lvslie (10k) 

Summary: It’s all the same burning bookshop, and I’m always inside shouting your name. 

[Aziraphale is recalled to Heaven, but leaving proves more difficult than anticipated. Written for the tumblr prompt: ‘Actually….I just miss you.’]

Another one that I just adore. This fic is poetry in all the best ways and I think about the summary line, “it’s always the same burning bookshop”, pretty much every day of my life. There isn’t a plot as such (or if there is I’ve forgotten it because I am mostly just focused on how beautifully written it is) but I highly recommend it anyway. 

Everything Leslie has written for this fandom is like this, actually, beautiful and poetic and sort of dream-like. 

Modern Love by punkfaery (7k) 

(I podficced this last year)

Summary: “The crux of it, Crowley decided, was that demons were not supposed to want.

Or – well, that wasn’t strictly true. Certain things, such as material wealth and the corruption of innocents and the eventual triumph of Hell over Heaven, and possibly Earth as well, were perfectly all right. The fact that he didn’t particularly care about any of these things just served to add a little extra salt to the wound.

It wasn’t a question of wanting. It was a question of wanting the wrong things.”

Crowley, Aziraphale, and a series of religious buildings.

No Pain, No…Loss? by NotASpaceAlien (7k)

Summary: Aziraphale has a horrifying realization and decides he needs to lose weight.

This is so goddamn funny. I love Aziraphale with all my heart but he is very foolish sometimes and this fic… is such a good instance of that. 

There’s No Pancake Too Big For My Heavenly Father To Flip by dwarvenbeardspores (6k)

Summary: After a few exceptionally busy months, the forces of Heaven and Hell attempt to outwit each other in Aziraphale’s kitchen.

That is, Aziraphale makes pancakes and Crowley eats them.

I love cooking, and cooking headcanons, and Aziraphale and Crowley cooking for each other. This fic is delicious. 

Read everything by this author, actually, everything they’ve written is wonderful. 

Mature

Goodbody by copperbadge (3k)

Summary: Aziraphael’s new body is causing some problems.

Again, I love a good exploration of the relationship between angels and demons and their bodies and this fic is so much fun on that count. 

Only Human by abstractconcept (9k)

Summary: Aziraphale loses his job. Humor/romance A/C

Fics exploring the fallout of Aziraphale and Crowley’s disobedience towards their bosses in trying to avert the apocalypse is definitely A Fic Type in this fandom and this one goes the route of “one of them is fired and turned into a human”. It even takes a humorous angle on this and not the obvious angst route. 

Explicit

fires of the flesh, both literal and figurative by mercuryhatter (3k)

Summary: Pretty standard “there’s a sex curse and Crowley has to have way too many orgasms or be discorporated” stuff.

Genderfluidity/trans Crowley!! Discussion of feelings!! Fuck or die!! What’s not to love? I really love this fic. 

No Cause for Alarm Clocks by HJ Bender (archived by the GO_Library_archivist) (2k)

Summary: A short story detailing one of Crowley’s infernal household gadgetries, and why he’ll never have sex in front of it ever again.

This is wild and funny and I have read it about thirty times. 

Figurative Language by alamorn (2k)

Summary: It’s two years after the apocalypse that wasn’t and the only thing that’s changed is Aziraphale’s dick. That is to say, he has one now.

A Classic. I have read this probably thirty times, as well. 

Rarefied Air by Vulgarweed (4k)

Summary: Earth is getting older, news is getting worse, and an angel has to go to extreme heights to get any peace and quiet at all. But as close as you can get to Heaven, you’re still never far from Hell. (Hell hasn’t frozen. Crowley nearly has.) Giftfic for Allthisnonsense in 2006 GO Holiday exchange. 

This is another author who has written a lot of really good stuff but this one is my favorite. 

And here is my ao3 as well, I’ve written a lot of GO fic in the last year. Here are some of the ones I’m most proud of. 

Where a Heart Would Fit Perfectly (Teen, 2k)

Summary: Aziraphale shrugged and gestured for Crowley to sit down, “I’ve come back from the battlefield; no need for all that muscle anymore.”

“You’ve gone a bit in the other direction, though, haven’t you?” Crowley said conversationally as he took a seat and flagged someone down for a drink. “You’re a bit… pudgy.”

In 600 BCE Assyria, two man-shaped beings meet up after a long absence.

Nothing Like The Sun (Teen, 6k)

Summary: One tended to go through a number bodies in six thousand years, even if one was as cautious or sturdy as Aziraphale. Crowley, who was neither cautious nor sturdy, had gone through a large number. He’d changed appearance so many times that in Aziraphale’s memory he was often just his eyes, for no matter if Crowley was tall or short, lithe or stocky, blond or raven-haired, his eyes stayed the same.

Touch Me Gently (Explicit, 2k)

Summary: Aziraphale had started manicuring his nails.

Yours, Truly (General, 3k)

Summary: A love in selected letters.

Snapshots (General, 2k)

Summary: Five photographs on the wall of Aziraphale’s shop. An expansion of a headcanon I posted on tumblr.

And that’s about what I got! Happy reading, anon. 

[malliebuu]

Mallie’s Reylo Fanfic Rec List:

This is in no particular order and not limited to! There are so many talented writers out there! These are stories that have really stuck with me, so I am sharing them with you all! I will add as I go.

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The Inheritance of the Resistance by @waterlilyrose

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The discovery of a new unknown Duchess of the House of Kenobi brings new life to the Rebellion Court. Having lost their old Queen Leia, Rey and Han are forced into a deeply unconventional but quietly happy marriage. Having never had a family of her own, Rey sees Han as the father figure she always longed for.

So when the disgraced Prince returns to court to make amends with his aging King, how will he take to the girl who is now effectively his stepmother?

Medieval/Tudor Reylo.

Review: This has Tudor vibes - it is unreal. I love history, so naturally historically AUs are right up my ally. I was quite impressed by the setup and dynamic. The author uses Star Wars terms in place for the historical ones. This doesn’t follow the Tudor chain of events, but veers in it’s own original direction. Ben and Rey for this interesting relationship and it is quite troubled because Rey is actually married to Ben’s father ::gasp::. Love this fiction. So beautifully heartbreaking! (complete) 

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There Shall I Be By philcollins

Rating: Not Rated (Mature if anything)

Summary: AU in which Rey, our lonely scavenger from The Force Awakens, meets Kylo Ren under very different circumstances - he's a shepherd on Jakku. Rey inherits an estate on the moon Ceathea and Kylo follows her there, works for her there, and soon encounters his hated old foe, Uncle Luke Skywalker. Will Rey ever accept Kylo's love? Will crusty old Luke Skywalker come between Rey and her true love? More familiar faces will make an appearance in this Force-free story of love, longing, angst, and anger.

Review: This story was so heartbreaking, but so good. A mix of pining, angst, drama and uncertainty. This story I read nonstop and was quite heart broken, but these two stubborn people just need a little extra time in order to figure out they were meant for one another. This story had me sighing and talking aloud with frustration! So well-written! (Complete)

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The End of Father Kylo By Sweet_Solitude

Rating: Explicit

Summary: After a filthy youth and almost suffering a great loss, Kylo turns to priesthood and leads a virtuous life. That is until he meets a girl who turns his world upside down and reminds him that he has a functioning body below his waist.

Review: Again, this one was found during my priest Kylo fazes. Don’t judge me! This has everything you would think when you think of the church and priests, though there is a little bit of something else. Yes, I am going to hell. I know this. Smut, smut! Love this kinky one-shot. If you aren’t offended by this, give it a read. ::fans face:: (one-shot)

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Fault Lines By Devil Betty

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Rey has always dreamed of a family. She starts to believe she could have it when she moves in with her new foster mother, Leia Organa. Then Leia’s son, Ben, moves back home and threatens to ruin the life Rey is trying to build. Nothing will prepare either of them for the truth. Some family secrets should stay hidden.

Review: This story is a “page-turner”. It has a simple setting, but so much happens and the dialogue between both Kylo and Rey are so intriguing. The chemistry is unmistakable and the lemons are to die for. Unfortunately, this is one minor thing that has a draw back, and both character experience a major revelation that hurts them both. Please read warnings before reading!!

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Spit and Sweat by bunnystealsyourcarrots

Rating: Explicit

Summary: In 1975, Finalizer played a gig at CBGB. The punk band gave their best, the crowd went wild, but a young girl named Rey wanted more.

God Save Them All.

Review: AH! This AU I really couldn’t get enough of because it involves our lovely Kylo and Rey, but is also peppered with sex, drugs and rock-n-roll! I mean...no on the drugs, but in all seriousness, I LOVE Rock-n-roll! So, naturally I honed in on this like no one’s tomorrow! The chemistry between Kylo and Rey is off the damn charts! Ugh, the sexual tension! I absolutely love how this starts as a childhood crush and as she gets older Kylo sees her and is completely blown away! (Uncomplete)

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Love and Comfort, Sex and Wondering If This Could Be Our Turn By AquaWolfGirl

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Anonymous Prompt: Ben and Rey are in college and best friends, and very much in love, they just don't realize it. Rey is tired of people making jokes about her being a virgin, so she asks Ben to help her out.

Review: Virgin Rey has a little delima. Ben is there to help guide her. This is actually a very sweet and sexy story! Give it a read! The author is a fantastic writer! (One-Shot)

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nolite te bastardes carborundorum By SaintHeretical

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Born on the fringes of a dystopian dictatorship, Rey has lived most of her life in the shadows until desperation drives her into the hands of the government. Her unblemished womb is her only salvation, which leads to her being placed as a Handmaid in the household of Commander Kylo Ren and his infertile wife.

Her task? Produce a healthy child for the Commander, or be banished to a life of hardship and almost certain death. A Reylo Handmaid’s Tale AU

Review: I loved The Handmaid's Tale, so naturally when I visited this story, I was drawn to that aspect. There is non-con in this, so please beware when reading. If you do not know the Hulu original series, refer to their site for a detailed description. The author, in response to this TV show, stays true, but brings originality and this is really a wonderfully written piece. The author is extremely talented! (Unfinished)

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Innocents Lost By Pontmercy44

Rating: Explicit

Summary: “That’ll scar.” Han stood behind him, nervously. He’d always been nervous around him, first, because he was a baby, and Han didn’t understand babies, and then, because he had the Force, and Han didn’t understand the Force. “Girls like scars.”

“It’s not like it matters.” Ben looked out at the thousands of spires. “I’m going to be a Jedi.”

Han grunted in sympathy, and then sat next to him, swinging his legs off the side of the tower. The urge to feel alive, to take risks and taste danger – that was what he’d inherited from his father. “Heard you got off the hook.”

“Not exactly. Community service.”

“Better than a detention block.” Han leaned back on his hands.

Ben scoffed. “It’s asinine.”

His father shifted, looking up at the stars, through the hazy, translucent atmosphere of Hosnian Prime. “What do they have you doing? Picking up orbit pollution, or something?”

“Worse.” Ben snorted. “Teaching orphans to read and write Basic. On Jakku.”

Han winced. “Only slightly better than a detention block.”

Review: Love this story! I flew through it. Very well-written! Ben has to do community service as punishment and meets little Rey on Jakku. This forbidden relationship is beautiful and bittersweet at the same time. I love this first love adaptation! The author went above and beyond with these two! (complete)

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Daddy Dearest By AquaWolfGirl

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When single father Ben Solo moves into his new apartment in Bespin with 5-month old daughter Amy in tow, he hopes to hell and back that this life will be better than the one they left behind in upstate New York. It's not long before his life becomes a cycle of work, Amy, work, Amy. One night, while trying to fish his keys from his pocket without waking his infant daughter, Rey, his next door neighbor, offers a helping hand.

Review: Daddy Ben! He is a great dad who falls for the babysitter. Interesting read; well written! You feel so sorry for Ben, but also Rey is a God send! Sweet interactions! Give it a read if you want some light hearted, fluffy interactions. Not much for fluff, but this was really a nice read! :3

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Stigmata By SaintHeretical

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Fifteen years after tragedy tore them apart, a priest and his sister band together to protect a homeless girl who appears to have been touched by God. Too bad his excommunicated nephew seems to have other plans for her.

A Reylo slow burn Modern/Religious AU.

Review: After the priest hype came out, I searched merely to humor myself. I found a few fictions that really had an interesting plot. This is one of them. Focused on Christianity and different groups within. Kylo and Leia are curious about this young girl who turns out to be homeless and has a curious development. She has formed the stigmata. This really is different than anything I have experienced. I usually don’t go for stuff like this, but there is enough angst and romance to fill my needs. LOVE it!

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World In My Eyes By Sasstasticmad

Rated: Explicit

Summary: "The bond should be dead," Rey says through gritted teeth. "Just like you.”

"The bond is only this strong because of you," Kylo Ren tells her. "You're the one who touched me. You took my hand and let me hold yours. This is your fault, not mine. (A post-TLJ force bond fic)

Review: This is after TLJ. I was obsessed for a while, which I am sure comes to no shock to anyone! Everyone was wrapped up in the force bond, which sasstasticmad delivers VERY well! There is so much continued tension between Rey and Kylo. It is quite interesting to see these two continue their interaction from opposite groups. The Resistance Vs First Order. (incomplete)

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Wolves By @albastargazer

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Rey Kenobi is a human beta until one fatal night and everything changes. With the existence of werewolves turning her world upside down, she is left with only her boss, Ben Solo, to help. Little did she know he is an Alpha wolf and the next leader of his pack, intent on claiming his rare omega.

Review: A/O/B dynamic. This story really is amazing. I have always had a soft spot for werewolves and I haven’t really had the pleasure of finding one that really stuck yet, of course, that was until I stumbled upon this little number. The dynamic between Ben and Rey is quite interesting. A horrible event leads Rey down an interesting path. Ben takes charge and attempts to help Rey. Interesting revelations emerge, however. (incomplete)

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Hatchling By g_girl143 @gwendy85

Rated: Teen

Summary: Rey's leads a predictable life as a general labourer at Niima Junkyard until an unexpected visit from the daughter she doesn't even know exists turns her world into a tailspin.

Review: This is simply the sweetest story. I binged it in one sitting. So sad that it doesn’t update as frequently, but when I do get an e-mail I am jumping for joy! This author really is talented. Love the way this dynamic is set up. There are so many intriguing questions-- you are left wanting more. So bitter sweet it isn’t complete! It really is something I haven’t seen done before. Really hope that it is completed someday! So much potential! I cannot wait to see what becomes of this new found family knit that develops on a whim, no thanks for Rey’s surprise daughter! ;)

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Kismet by @ladylionhart

Rated: Mature

Summary: Sometimes, what seems like a simple mistake is truly the first step of a fateful journey.

- Or the one where a single text message sent to the wrong number completely changes the lives of two people and those around them.

Review: Easily one of my all time favs! This is such an amazingly written, intriguing AU. It really begins like none other via text. Both parties, shockingly, continue their witty bouts of conversation until they both begin to develop feelings for one another without actually seeing one another. When they finally begin to interact on a level far from platonic, it heats up fast and you are left needing more! LOVE!

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Summer Heat By @isharan

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A lonely young woman arrives at the cottage she inherited from her grandfather on a remote lake in northern Ontario, to find her neighbor is a rare Alpha, a relic of the old days when humans were ruled by their designation. Across a long hot summer, they connect over their shared history, and she finds that the past may not be as far away as she assumed.

Review: ::Bats lashes:: What can I say about this one? Well, I am slowly dying because man is this a slow burn! This is an A/O/B dynamic, but it is so well written that it isn’t just a heat and commence screwing each other’s brains out. No, this really has amazing storyline that has you asking questions or attempting to figure out the author’s train of thought. Gosh, there are so many good things to say about this fic! Ben is absolutely a dream in this fiction too. I cannot even begin to describe because I just wouldn’t do it justice. This fiction killed me in a good way! (Incomplete)

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Serotonin and Dopamine By Pontmercy44

Rating: Explicit

Summary: He could lie and say it was because he was gentleman, but that wasn’t quite true. “I – well, I want to take advantage of you. But I know better.”

Rey looked at him for a long moment, and Ben thought she might slap him. She didn’t. She started to laugh, shaking her head as if she couldn’t quite believe it. Finally, she said, smiling, “Goodnight, Ben.”

Ben turned and walked slowly back to his car. He heard her door creak open, but he didn’t hear it slam shut. It felt as if he was walking away from his chance, from his chance to have something good and uncomplicated and nice.

Ben turned around, and went back to the door. Rey waited for him, biting her lip. He took off his stocking cap and held it in his hands in front of himself. His ears were cold without his hat, but he was in the posture of remorse and penance. "I'm sorry. I'm an ass. Can I kiss you again?"

Review: This fiction was different and reeled me in because Ben was different. In this fiction he has mental disorder that makes it difficult to form relationships. Though, Rey takes to him and Ben to her in the sweetest of ways! I really liked the development in this story. The author delivers fluffy feels too. I am not usually one that enjoys a ton of fluff, but they did right by it! (Complete)

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An empire to be won By Bitterbones @dvrksister

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The grin of satisfaction that split Rey’s face was utterly demented. “In three days time I will be wed to her son.” Rose blanched at the word son, apparently having been unaware of the familial relationship between her beloved general and the scourge of the galaxy.

Rey chuckled and continued, “It will be televised across the galaxy, and I’m certain that she will be watching; supportive mother that she is. Tell her to look on her son’s face, and see that he is gone. Tell her that the mark she sees there is my own, that it is an engagement gift from myself. And tell her that where she failed to save Ben Solo, I will raise Kylo Ren.”

[In which Kylo and Rey are betrothed as children and separated for their respective darkside trainings. Their reintroduction as adults is explosive, to say the least.]

Review: Cold Showers. I swear, these two, from the beginning, have so much sexual chemistry I had to fan myself when reading. Holy shit, this was tense. I LOVE her Kylo. This is an arranged marriage fiction, but even so there is so much going on in the world she so wonderfully weaved as well as the character interactions. You will be flying through each chapter begging for more! (Incomplete)

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Eunoia By MalevolantReverie @malevolent-reverie @meth-lab-shenanigans

Rate: Explicit

Summary: Rey Kenobi, an underachieving college student becomes tangled in a twisted web with her astronomy professor, Kylo Ren, who is hiding a dark secret. (Unfinished)

Review: Violent, dark, heart wrenching, Eunoia is the cream of the crop for dark fictions. I am a huge horror fan, so naturally I was curious to read something dark and dreary in regards to Reylo. The author doesn’t hope back, which I am quite pleased about. She really builds her word and characters fantastically. The dark character of Kylo really stays completely vile. Please only read if you can hand reading explicit content. Contains non-con!

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The Quietest Evening By MalevolantReverie @malevolent-reverie @meth-lab-shenanigans

Rated: Mature

Summary: Every so often, a girl disappears. No one knows where they go or why they’re taken, but they're never seen alive again. Rey, the police chief’s daughter, is next.

Review: This story is one of my favorites from MR. This one wasn’t nearly as graphic as the others she has written, but I really like the storyline she has built here. It was dark, contained secrets and revelations that had my jaw dropping. I really was at the edge of my seat for this one. It really got my heart pumping! If you are looking for a dark, angsty thriller this is the story for you. Please be aware there are triggers and non-con! (Completed)

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Nobody Knows By hernamewasalice @hernamewasalicewriter

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Nobody knows that the loving wife of Ben Solo was kidnapped as a teenager. Nobody knows. Not their family or closest friends. Not even their twelve year old son, Benny.

Review: Amazing story! This is another extremely dark fic, but more so the past that is associated with Rey and Kylo. Kylo has so many secrets, so does Rey. They look like the perfect couple, but really they have a more sinister start. There are parts that are tender and sweet, but the reality and hard truth of it all is quite painful. Author has an extremely fantastic beginning where she pulls you in. It is seen through the eyes of their son! So good! Recommend! Please be warned, however, there is non-con and violence! (Unfinished)

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[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

You know, in retrospect, I think one of the things that still really stands out to me about the Twelve/Clara romance in DW is that of all the canon New Who romances, it’s the most emotionally adult. 

I mean that in the sense that like, Rose/Ten and Eleven/River and even Rory/Amy all feel like they were written for a younger-minded audience. Which is not to disparage them or to say that they didn’t have moments that were more emotionally mature - more that I feel like Twelve/Clara has aspects to it that would resonate more with older/more experienced audiences, while the others are more true to young love and tropes typically aimed at teen-to-early 20′s audiences (yes, even Eleven/River). 

This is particularly true for Rose/Ten, which was sweet but also fairly par for the course in terms of new-adult romance archetypes. Girl falls in love with angsty Otherworldly Boy, heals his broken heart and comes of age into a stronger woman, etc.

Rory/Amy is fairly typical for your average romantic comedy about 20-somethings dipping their toes into settling down, including accidental love-triangle shenanigans and running around in wedding dresses.

Eleven/River, while unique and even ground-breaking for involving an older woman with a younger man (at least when it comes to the actors), felt more like an over-the-top adventure romance typical of stories aimed at young men, with the sexually awkward hero and the experienced femme-fatale. A lot of young women enjoyed River as a power-fantasy and found the depiction of an older woman as sexy to be pop-culturally important, which is fair, but she always read to me as a bit more directed towards male audiences even so, and thus she didn’t hit that button for me. Nor did their romance which I found extremely quickly handled and out of center-focus, if that makes sense (much like romances in film directed at boys/men). Not that the romance or characters ONLY fits into those archetypes (the characters aren’t that flat), but it did not resonate with me personally (bolded for emphasis, leave me alone internet) as terribly true to life, emotionally. Again I found it more fantastical rather than mature, at least for the majority of it’s depiction.

Eleven/Clara is an intentional rehashing of the Doctor/Companion archetypal narrative, and thus it hits those same new-adult coming of age archetypes and tropes that Rose/Nine-Ten did. That said, this twist at the end was that it was leading up to Twelve/Clara, and thus it became a starting point to a much bigger, more complex relationship. In other words, it was an intentional simple DW trope leading into something that gradually became much more real.

Twelve/Clara is not at all a story about a young woman healing an angsty man’s heart and coming into her own in the process, it’s a story about how two very similar people had a relationship that helped them grow in some ways while they stagnated (or even regressed) in others, because they often failed to actually let themselves grow past their problems.  It’s about denying the love you feel and actually causing harm in the process. Or that sometimes the wounds you have inside you can actually continue to damage you, if you fail to recognize the what you need to heal. And even more painful, that you can fail a loved one, if you don’t have the courage to properly address the wounds you see growing inside them. It’s about love sometimes being as ugly as it is beautiful.

I don’t want to come across like I’m romanticizing problematic relationships (I don’t view Twelve/Clara as problematic) or grimdark ones (I am not moved by false drama or abuse and it doesn’t fit into those categories anyway). Nor am I saying that it was more realistic because it “failed” or had a bittersweet ending, as much as I’m saying that I felt that Twelve/Clara gave us a full picture of an actually emotionally adult relationship between flawed, hurting people who never really healed completely, rather than just the trope problems that your typical archetype romance might face. 

A lot of this I think comes from the fact that so much of Twelve/Clara is depicted in what they skirt around saying, rather than in what they actually say. It’s heavy on subtext and the tricky way people find ways to not express themselves, which it seems has often been an issue for it when it comes to audience understanding what it’s trying to be. I feel like a lot of people from different groups expected them to fit into some kind of typical trope, like the ”Girl heals Angsty Man with her love” trope that DW always teased us with, or some form of a “mentor/apprentice paternal-platonic relationship.” They really, really didn’t fit any of that, but I still see people trying to force them into those boxes like a square peg in a round hole.

I’ll always associate Bowie’s “Heroes” with this relationship, honestly. I think it’s pretty spot on for what they were.