#like when normal is like ten maybe
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Started thinking about the oak family again mood board
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#OUGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHH PUGHHGGHFFGHHHGGHHHHB#had the horrible terrible thought of henry dying some time after normal is born and before season 2 starts#like when normal is like ten maybe#and I got this like. vivid image in my head#of a reversal of the oak twins reactions to their dads death in comparison to the stabbing#LIKE. IDK#I think in lark’s brain he sees it as he indirectly killed his dad when he decided to summon the doodler#that henry probably died bc of doodler stuff#and being an adult and having that perspective of what he was like as a teen#and having to confront how he treated his dad after he died#idk I think lark would have lost it#and for sparrow….#i think up until that point he has spent so long repressing parts of himself I think he feels a little numb#like he can’t believe it kind of way#and he also has a family now#he cant come home to his kids a mess. he feels like he has to hold that in#and I also think that makes sparrow trying so hard to imitate henry’s kinda lifestyle even more devastating#like he’s trying to chase after his memories of his dad to try to understand him after he’s gone#also have had lots of thoughts of hero and normal going to their grandma Mercedes whenever they get into a fight at home#also thinking about normal and henry.#OUGH.#JUST. MANY THOUGHTS.#should I character tag this#fuck it we ball#henry oak#lark oak garcia#sparrow oak garcia#normal oak
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Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie
#xmen#logan movie#snap chats#i be ramblin today hello ...#it was a pleasant jumpscare. yk until he died. after realizing he committed atrocities by accident 😭😭💀 OLD MAN NOOO#but no please LIKE I READ THE DESCRIPTION WHEN GOING TO WATCH RIGHT#AND I WAS JUST THINKING 'oh he'll probably be here for like twenty minutes. wdym he's here for way longer than that'#i THINK years ago i REMEMBER seeing a screenshot of the hotel bit with laura and charles but again that was years ago#and i might be tricking myself maybe its a false memory jealvvelka either way i just know they were cute :(#point is he was here for. i cant even say So Little cause again He Was Here For An Hour And Thirty Minutes Out Of Two Hours#and lets be clear 'snap has your brain molded that much you know exactly how much screen time charles gets in the movies'#girl no not yet i only know exactly when he punches his clock cause i had to keep restarting the movie cause it kept pausing vjAELKAJE#and it just so happened to struggle literally like. ten minutes after he dies- like when logan was dealing with x24 THAT part#so rude for that.. anyway I Repeat i miss charles and laura bein cute :(#it wasnt a lot but it was just sweet.. i always like how charles always got that Professor in his soul with these movies#like in dofp when logan's losing it after. getting future ptsd jvALKVLAJ??K charles is there to ground him#despite being. Like That vjeaLKj like sir please ily. i will accept the Youre On Acid answer youre trying your best#and then with THIS movie evidently charles is having. the worst time upstairs#but he's still super sweet with laura like oh stop you grandpa im gonna throw up#and to STRESS. they were EVIL about that wholesome dinner bit like :((( oh to see the fam happy and safe again :(((#like im throwing up frankly. people were right this movie IS sad i underestimated their assessment 😭#to lighten the mood in my heart. charles really do be an old man in this movie hes such a menace to logan JELKAK#god. Most Normal X-Men Movie Watcher Focuses On Professor X During The Movie About Logan VEJLKJA#ok im done. sorry i just keep replayin that bit in my head where theyre in the car and logans just 'Did You Take Your Meds SHOW'#like pelase. jaeRLKEaj ok im gonna try drawing i looked at my wall long enough and i think i can draw something
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Well, on the upside, Veilguard’s absolutely horrid writing and utter lack of meaningful roleplay mechanics made me appreciate Inquisition’s already watered-down writing and roleplay mechanics.
#Emmrich’s pretty much the only decent companion but my god.#This game feels like a daycare simulator.#No option but to be nice to and validate everyone even when they’re being objectively awful themselves (looking at Taash in particular)#The stakes should feel high but instead I just feel like I’m babysitting toddlers#And normally I’m a completionist who loves doing all the quests but the game actively forces you into it#You HAVE to recruit all the companions; you HAVE to baby and validate them all; you HAVE to complete all their quests#No option to even mention the supposed Dire Stakes of the universe.#The game treats you like you’re seven and over-explains everything to you. The maps are terrible even if they look good.#The voice acting for a few companions is… questionable.#For a game we waited ten years for it feels like someone’s rough/unfinished first draft.#And again no truly meaningful roleplay choices or actions.#The game just forces you to be nice to everyone. Rook feels like an inveterate spectator and an invertebrate to boot. Utterly spineless.#Every time we see a returning companion I feel like Hadvar: ‘Who… are you?’#Because they act nothing like their previously established personalities & it’s like Veilguard goes out of its way to ignore previous games#The head writer’s self-insert is painfully obvious and atrociously-written in particular#You can only be a Good Nice Guy#Maybe sometimes a Stern Nice Guy and very occasionally a Nice Guy Who Thinks He’s Funny But Isn’t#Just! My god.#I want to return the game. For the first time ever in my life.#So disappointed.#text#chey.txt
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#curious observation time#not trying to point fingers or invoke any level of drama#and please someone point out if i've missed something#but i do think it is a tad odd#or at least very telling#that....zero (0) people in kpop have#commented at all on liam from 1D dying#when people are crawling out of the woodwork left and right#to give tributes and condolences#i'm sure there is a lot less overlap there#with people who ever actually interacted with him#but the silence feels extra loud when every global non-korean boy group#from the last....3-4 decades at this point#has said SOMETHING#again i know it's not really how kpop operates#to comment on current events or really....anything outside of loving their fans#and maybe it's the drug connection#or all the commentary about consequences of making kids into celebrities#that makes them not want to touch it with a ten foot pole but#it's really kind of driving home what a bubble kpop lives in for me#like this alternate universe where nothing else happens in the world except kpop#which i think is why i got sucked in during the pandemic#but now that the world has gone back to normal#it does sometimes feel like a weird place to be#but also#if dating and smoking and a tipsy scooter ride is the epitome of scandal#where do you even put larger world problems#sorry this has taken a turn#the escapism of kpop is one if it's draws#but sometimes it feels bizarre to be in here and realize how much you're ignoring
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love to have Literally Just More Than One thing I want to do for myself for fun and get completely fatigued and paralyzed by overwhelm about it
#it's a decent handful of things this time but it's also like......... normal people can Do Things. you know?#'apple pie time :)' and also 'it's SO autumn out I wanna go to the park and sketch' n also 'I really need to redo the big web if I'm gonna'#and also 'maybe cranefest this weekend?' and also 'I wanna glue pin backs on those buttons' and also 'I need to try and shrink that hat'#and also 'hey wasn't I going to finish those satyr leg pants' and also 'I wanna finish this drawing I was cooking before I lose steam'#and also 'sooo OC halloween costume doodles?' and also 'I still need to actually beat hollow knight' and also AND ALSO AND ALSO-#and the thing is what am I actually doing? nothing :) too overwhelmed. gotta lay down for ten years.#and here is the thing: this admittedly sounds like a lot of things when I list out everything I'm thinking about#but the thing is my brain jams up exactly the same way at just the thought of 'bake a pie' and 'go for a walk' on the same day#and at some point I'm also gonna need a shower! at some point it's also gonna be my turn to cook dinner!#NORMAL PEOPLE CAN HANDLE TWO THINGS. PERHAPS MORE. IMAGINE.#about me
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you really have to admire my dad's cousin for not even telling us my great aunt was sick until she's literally about to go into hospice care while we're all across the ocean, that's such a nice thing to do :)
#personal#why is everyone on my dad's side of the family so FUCKED#you know my aunt didn't even tell us my uncle was sick before he died#like that literally came to the entire family out of the fucking blue#i felt so awful for my grandparents and my dad about that like literally no one knew and then boom he's dead#meanwhile this moron doesn't even tell us my auntie alta is doing so badly until literally like ten minutes ago#('she doesn't have much time left' you think maybe we could have been informed a bit before this???? tf????)#and don't even get me started on the dead uncle's wife who's a full republican#or my living uncle's wife who is so fucking unbearable and such an unholy piece of work that for the only time in my life i condone cheatin#only when he did it#but now i'm Annoyed#(especially cuz there's a lot of Stuff with me and my auntie alta we have a special connection and apparently i look a lot like her)#at least the maternal side of my family is marginally more normal
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if i say getocoded
#franz wright when i fucking catch you………#poem is called dedication btw <3333 my favorite ever#this is specifically cult leader geto coded btw !!#”although i never write; secretly i long to die with you; does that count?” (sound of glass exploding)#SIGH.#the enormous mouth that waits beyond youth…… and i will meet you there again ….. it is easier this time; i promise ………#i am already waiting in your personal heaven; here is my hand; i will help you across……. i would gladly die with you still.#yeahhh. u get it.#i think he yearns for you so deeply that it almost turns into worship#during those ten years of no contact#i think he dreams about convincing you to join him. i think he develops a savior complex for You specifically#he wants to be your salvation.#i also don’t think cult leader geto can love normally. all he knows is burning <33#all he knows is that he’ll kill for you and that he’d die for you. with you. that maybe selfishly he wants you both to die.#he’s soooo sick & twisted but there’s a tenderness to it. his yearning is tender his burning is tender.#he thinks about you late at night when he can’t sleep and wonders if you’d accept his love even though it’s bent#he tells you that he’d die with you and it sounds like a psalm.#etcetcetc#ari going insane over cult leader geto part 8278383#😔😔😔😔 i miss him chat#ari noises ✩#poetry ✩
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you don't have to read this i just have so much pent-up in my head.
(if you do tho the tags are just as important as the post.)
i wish i could make people unfollow me without blocking them? bc like. every single palestine ask i get (whether spam or real) they follow me. even though it's not set up so only followers can send asks. i think they do it because like, then they think i will be more willing to help? bc follower counts are so important on other platforms and to most people, it's probably like an exchange? They do the nicety of adding to my follower count and so i will be more willing to donate money to their cause? but like. i don't want followers just for followers. it makes me uncomfortable. i've got a little over 150 followers right now but probably a third are palestine fundraiser blogs (and a few bots i can't tell are bots or not and promotional spam). it makes me uncomfortable? it makes me feel like the numbers a lie? i want the people following me to be there because they actually care about my blog/me?
obviously i don't want to block these people! they are in a genocide trying to do whatever they can to survive! they are on here trying to ask anyone and everyone so that out of the hundred of people they ask maybe one or two can donate a few dollars! they are trying every tactic they can to make people listen to them! following! posting photos! using eye-catching colours and fonts! writing out their stories! all things that are emotionally and or/physicaly exhausting and draining all in an attempt to just get someone to listen! and honestly it's sort of unfair that they have to follow random people and clog up their dash with random stuff just so people are more willing to help (obviously most of these people didn't have tumblr before and aren't here for the dash, but i imagine a dash full of palestine help would be less overwhelming than a huge mass of random fandoms while you go find people to ask).
#i also get. so. many. palestine asks. and i do think a good chunk are spam but a good chunk are real too and i can't tell the difference#but it really stresses me out how i get so many bc like. i do not have the money to help you people.#and i have said that on every ask ive answered#and the majority of my following doesn't really have the money either. and plenty of them aare struggling for money and asking for help#& now im mounted with tens & tens & tens of asks in my ask box of people i cant help my following cant help & i don't know are real or not#but i have this duty to share them anyways bc even if i can't donate just sharing helps#but again i don't even know which are real#and it's overwhelming and stressful#but then how pathetic/inappropriate is it to feel that way compared to what they are going through?#they are in a genocide and i'm “uncomfortable” at the amount of asks pleading for help in my ask box???#that's fucked up!!!#and why am i even saying i don't have the money to help? i don't have a job and have never had one but i've saved up a bit for a few years#for a special occasion like my birthday or a legal name change or something#who cares if i get that? they can't either! and they are a lot worse of without it than i am without it!#and i have money from a car accident a few years ago from when i was in a car accident that will be all the money to my name once i cut my#parents off. it's all i'll have to try getting housing and maybe film school and such before i can get a job#but why not give them all of that too! who cares if i give away all my money and i live in a cardboard box in the side of the road!#a cardboard box on the side of the road would still be better living conditions than what they are going through!#and if i can make their life better without making my life worse than theirs don't a have a moral obligation to?#so why don't i do that!#what is wrong with me!#unityrain.txt#moral ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#ocd#actually ocd#maube i shouldn't tag this as palestine#palestine.#<-with a period.#so that way it doesn't show up in people following the normal tag
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For the OC ship asks!💜
Their pet has caused destruction. Who puts the pet in jail? Who defends the pet? and
Who gives off "they said no pickles" energy?
Thank you for asking, Mer! 💗
Ooooh!
Puts pet in jail: Emma, Elowen, Zevran, Fenris
Defends pet: Arianwen, Maria, Cullen
Whose pet is this? I've never seen it before, but it doesn't seem like it's really bothering anybody. Anyways, let's get out of here and do something more fun :) : Salshira
They Said No Pickles energy:
Arianwen: Once a person is Hers, she would (abrasively, likely without much actual talking) defend them from any inconvenience, pickles included.
Emmaera: Emma is of the "you paid for a thing, there is no reason to accept a thing you didn't paid for. Politely tell them this isn't the right thing" camp. And since Cullen would absolutely insist on not inconveniencing someone else over something as silly as personal preference, she is perfectly happy to give that speech (politely!) to whoever accidentally put pickles on his sandwich.
Maria would swap sandwiches while Fenris was distracted (so he could have the one without pickles) and Salshira would gaslight someone into thinking she was the one who asked for no pickles (easy mistake to make! No pickles is almost exactly the same word as pickles c:) (she leaves the cashier thinking they are best friends and also gets free milkshakes).
#ask response#ask game response#i make emma sound like the Normal one but. you know. she also thought the best possible life path for her after Everything was#killing people in the sewers so uh.#there's that#cullen and elowen trade off Nobly Suffering and maybe aren't the most keyed in to the pickles thing#elowen lavellan#emmaera lavellan#salshira lavellan#arianwen tabris#maria hawke#maria is queen of the 'but he's done nothing wrong :c' camp and fenris is king of the 'That Hound is a Criminal' camp#poor Miser is probably wearing like. A very silly jester cap and is sadly sent to the corner to think about what he's done#(Maria sneaks him a bone later for his pains) (Fenris does not sneak him a bone but he does spend ten minutes petting him on the way out#so he knows he's forgiven)#(Maria dresses up her dog for her own entertainment when she's bored. everyone- Miser included - prefers this to#the other activities she gets up to when she's bored)
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there should be more awe and excitement for the natural world in syfi and fantasy i see the moon and stars and my dog and cat every single day of my life and im still thrilled and excited by them every time
#I see the same mountains everyday when I drive to work and I still take the time to look at them!!!!#I just don’t like the attitude of ‘oh yeah this is normal whatever’#I grew up a ten minute drive from one of the nicest beaches in the world and the ocean still impresses me every time I go#try adding wonder and whimsy to your life and maybe
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like whats actually edating
#mind obviously went back to dnf like my mind always finds it here i'm in the dnf blog if i wanted to make another post i'd probably not be#doing it here Um anyway LIKE what is an internet relationship. the existance of a diferent medium means that what we understand by dating#is completely lost theres just not whatever courting or predating medium that kind of exist for people when they date? it obviously cant#develop naturally because the situation isnt natural but nature is dictated by what we're living#and dream more than george is peak new generation of chrnonically online tens#who have a difficult time adapting to social etiquete and well he also is unluckiest man alive but we're not talking about that. When we ar#forced to reinterpret what it means to be dating someone like the weird shift to not-friends we Theorize dnf Maybe coudl've had#makes total sense because its just not a common situation in the slightless. having a mayor key point of your life (figuring out youre#actually queer) be the talk of the month by a thousan people that Know making a joke at your expense will bring them attention is fucking#traumatizing#and that shit is just normalized by the context in which it is enacted????? AND WE JUST LET IT?????????AND NOBODY PAUSES AND THINKS WOW THI#IS KINDA FUCKED UP???????'#Dating is both a normative concept and a experience: we know what dating entailsbut we never actually#know how someoene else experiences it because theyre simply not us and thus we just dont know lol . anyway i lost the thread#dnf weirdest edaters ever i'll defend you forever
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3 gravity bong hits back to back and now my brain is melting
#for ppl who don’t do weed. gravity bong. longer pull than you can normally take bc the gravity pulling the water or whatever is pulling for#you so it’s like way more smoke in a more heavily concentrated area so when you lift the bowl up and push the smoke out to inhale it’s#more smoke really fast instead of multiple regular bong hits over like ten minutes to get the same amount of smoke#or maybe I’m completely wrong who knows I’m really high I might go throw up lollll#okay bye love you
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what's the first thing that comes to mind when i ask "favorite krycek scene?"
in terms of "scenes with krycek in them that are not actually about him" it will always be the part at the end of apocrypha where he's expelling the black oil onto the ship and it's coming out of his eyes and everything. something about it is so disturbing, so entrancingly gross. it's almost hard to watch but that's why i like it. i used to wonder a lot how they actually pulled off that effect and so i looked it up and apparently there was like this weird mask with tubes running through it that took like an hour to put on. pretty cool
in terms of "scenes with krycek in them that actually sort of are about him" i really really like the bit in ascension of him in the operating room with the tram driver at skyland mountain. there's already a tenseness to the scene (is mulder going to make it to the top in time? is the tram going to fuck up because he's going too fast? etc) that is really well escalated by the way everything is shot. there are a lot of face close-ups--krycek, the tram driver, barry in the car, scully in the trunk--and a lot of big wide shots showing just exactly how high in the air mulder is on the tram, it makes it feel like an action movie. i love the camera work for the whole sequence; the shots of the tram operator sitting at the desk always include krycek in the background, but never his face, and at the end of the sequence, when the tram driver explains that mulder looks like he's going to make it to the top of the mountain safely, it shows krycek reaching for the gun at his waistband without changing the angle of the camera, so you maybe almost don't notice it. the little micro-movements and expressions are really good here too; krycek pistol-whips the tram operator, fixes his hair (lol), closes his eyes and sighs before reaching out to shut off the tram. the sleeve of his suit is too long, and it covers part of his hand when he turns the key. he makes his phone call in a vaguely resigned manner, maybe not overjoyed at what he's doing but definitely committed to it. mulder is calling his name over the radio--what's going on down there? do you read me? does anybody read me?--and when mulder actually does make it to the top of the mountain unharmed, even after almost falling off the tram, krycek closes his eyes and sighs again in the sort of way where you can't quite tell if he's annoyed or relieved. one of my favorite scenes of the episode, period; it's incredibly rewindable. i get excited for it whenever i rewatch -_-
#re: apocrypha i'm also a fan of that whole last like ten minutes for a lot of reasons#particularly the cut from scully musing that 'maybe the old man was right; maybe we bury the dead alive'#to krycek locked in the missile silo banging on the door and yelling for help that for all we know will never come#there's also one other part in ascension that's like barely even a scene it's like five seconds#but when mulder is interrogating barry in the office and they're talking about scully#and mulder is like 'who took her' and barry is like 'THEM!!! they know where she is! turn around! they're right outside!'#and there's like a two second shot of three government guys in dark suits out the window with the sudden bright sterile blue underlighting#and they like. turn and walk away as one while barry is yelling for mulder to look. and you can see just barely that one of them is krycek#and then mulder turns around and the light's back to normal and there's nobody there. rrrgrgrghh so cool
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radfems truly are incredible the way they cannot seem to conceive of a world in which women can both understand and love men. every single time it’s gotta be ‘waaaaaa but she’s clearly misinformed and ignorant and has internalized blah blah blah has just been socialized to la la la’ etc. sorry that some of us have healthy lives and genuine friends
#i don’t doubt them for a second when they cite ten thousand examples of men being awful#but you help no one when you frame the bad demographic- even the bad majority- as the normal ones#people are going to do what they perceive to be normal#actually i would like to believe in the idea that good people are the normal ones. thanks#no matter how few and far between they are#maybe that makes me naïve or maybe that makes you poisoned
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started rereading a book that I had mixed feelings about but have also thought about a lot since (and I do like to revisit works that had a particular resonance with me to try and figure out what that captivating something was) and anyway I did read this book the first time when I was probably too young for it (I think my mom was reading it for a book club and I saw it on her nightstand and read the blurb and she told me I probably should wait until I was older to read it) and I remember that sneaking into her room to read it in little snatches. Sitting on the floor of her bathroom in secret with that book. But ANYWAY what I'm trying to say is I remembered being vaguely annoyed with the narrator and I was wondering if that would still be the case reading it as an adult. And the answer is yes. I am finding her insufferable, in fact.
#it's The Thirteenth Tale in case you were wondering#and this gal is annoying for multiple reasons#but to get specific. She was born with a conjoined twin but her twin died and she didn't find out about this until she was ten#and weirdly defines like her whole identity on that#haven't got far enough yet but I remember later in the book they like wax poetic about this inherent sense of ''twin-ness''#and like her always feeling the shadow of her dead twin and stuff#which. ok. vibes I guess.#but hear me out. I was also actually a twin (we think) bc my mom literally had a miscarriage but then was still pregnant with me#which. (1) was not a defining moment to find out about bc I do not even remember her first telling me that#(2) maybe has caused me to wonder more about what it would have been like to grow up as a twin than your average person#but I also think that's probably normal to wonder about a little#and (3) is definitely not something I would base my identity around at all??#granted. being born connected is more dramatic and also this is literally gothic fiction#but still idk she's all like ''oh woe is me I'm half of a whole and I've been lonely forever bc I'm missing my other half''#like. girl me too? but idk I'm normal about it#also the whole ''I only read books all day and I don't talk to anyone and I just work at my dad's bookstore#where I don't actually have to do that much work I just get to read whatever I want and also write when I feel like it''#I HATE YOU#she's just like me if my main character syndrome was indulged and if I was ANNOYING and self-obsessed#what growing up an only child will do to you ig lol#if you've reached the end of my very petty and specific rant. hello.
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I literally need to complain abt everything on here or I’ll die
#writing this on the plane so will probably release from drafts when we land#but yeah#um so the guy next to me on the flight is so fucking annoying#listening to whatever bullshit is on his phone out loud … havent we suffered enough#um what else.#the really expensive makeup that my aunt bought me for once was like ten shades too light#bc she got me and my sister the same shade… in what world…#I was serving clown#it’s a foundation but ig I’ll use it like a concealer#managed to make it look normal after ages then my cousin was like ‘take it off’ 🙃#but it’s crazy tho bc it makes it look like my skin is perfect…#maybe my makeup skillls are improving after watching reels tho that is also a possibility#um what else. girl I am sooo tired#I’ve managed to sleep in like 5 minute increments on the flight#I have not slept in like . um.#might have been more than 24 hrs by no#but I’ll sleep well when I get there hopefully#bc it’s 3 hours ahead .. meaning you have to sleep earlier and wake up earlier… my nemesis#guys I’m so irrationally annoyed at this man next to me .. could you not have been a handsome azeri boy my age 🫠🫠 (delusional)#my illegally downloaded music is serving me well#there’s 3 more hours to the flight and I’m on 70% charge#so 🫡 just have to hope we make it#also have podcasts downloaded so will pursue
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