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missvelvetsstuff · 5 months ago

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No Benefits

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.

Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.

Notes: Steve and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon

Chapter 10

Warnings: swearing, angst

Notes: I'm sorry this update took so long. I had a big dramatic scene in the meeting with Nick Fury planned but I wrote and rewrote it for three days and it just never hit right so, hopefully this works.

Lemme know what you think, I live for likes, shares and notes.

Nick Fury landed at the compound late Monday afternoon and went straight into Maria Hill's office to meet for over two hours. He left to go back to his quarters for food and sleep.

Maria immediately logged on to her computer to send a meeting invite to the Avengers for the next morning.

The team discussed the email over dinner in hushed and worried voices. Even Tony and Steve seemed concerned. Sharon was done with her treatment and appeared to be back to her normal self, even if she did act like the ankle monitor she was wearing weighed a ton. There was an ongoing investigation into when Antonia first gave her the serum, before or after Sharon became the Power Broker, so the ankle monitor helped Friday keep track of her and prevented her from going outside of the residence floor, common room and medbay.

Sharon grabbed the seat next to Bucky and was flirting with him, although more subtly than previously. Bucky moved his chair over as far as he could to get away from her until Sam elbowed him in his ribs. Sharon didn't get the hint and tried playing footsies with Bucky until he 'accidentally' kicked her in the shin while still wearing the steel toed boots he had on when he was playing keep away with Sam's shield earlier.

Sharon yelped "What the fuck Barnes? Are you wearing steel toes? You nailed me right in the shin. It's not bad enough that my other leg has that stupid monitor which makes my leg ache, if anyone cares."

Bucky shrugged "Shouldn't have been trying to play footsies." He smirked at her "and, No, no one cares. Maybe deciding to become a crime lord wasn't your best call, huh?"

Sharon shook her head as she felt her face heat up and stammered out "B-b-but I, I w-was just uh st-stretching mmmy legs."

Sam choked on his drink as he tried not to laugh "Fuck! Sorry, went down the wrong way."

Bucky smirked as Sharon glared at Sam then looked down swearing under her breath. "I helped you assholes and ended up an enemy of the state, I should have let Ross deal with all three of you."

Steve cleared his throat and looked at them like a disappointed father whose kids are acting up during dinner, which made Sam laugh out loud.

Tony sighed "Alright children. A little play to ease the tension is fine but this shit is serious. Fury is going to come down on all of us and I don't feel like taking his abuse for something that I wasn't involved with. You!" He pointed at Bucky and Sharon "And Romanoff, are the reason Cookie left so I vote for you taking the brunt of his anger."

Bucky looked down at his plate as he moved the food around. "I know and I plan on accepting responsibility for my part in it. I've been trying to figure out how to convince her to come back but I'm stuck. I'm open to any ideas."

Tony nodded, unconvinced "Riiight, good luck with that.

Well if anyone's interested, Romanoff is still in a holding cell while medical takes care of her. She's reportedly a difficult patient but seems to be improving."

There was a collective groan before Bucky shook his head "Pffft, not interested."

Sam snickered while Steve gave Bucky that dad look again to which Bucky just shrugged. "Well, I don't care. She's caused me too much trouble."

Steve sighed "She was being controlled, Buck. You can't hold her completely responsible."

"Maybe not but that doesn't mean I'm interested in her condition. I'm sure that the medical team will take care of her and it's not my problem. She was being weird even before all this drama. She tried to restart the whatever we had in the Red Room and I don't want her." His face dropped and he muttered sadly "I just want Cookie."

"Right, jerk." Steve looked around "It's getting late, we should all get some rest so we're up to dealing with this meeting tomorrow."

The others nodded and mumbled agreement before getting up to clean and heading to their rooms. Sharon tried again to talk to Bucky but he strode away too quickly for her to catch him.

Bucky tried to sleep but couldn't, like most nights since he pushed Cookie away he laid in his bed staring at the ceiling. Looking at the 'glow in the dark' galaxy and blue twinkle lights that Cookie decorated his room with. She said it was too impersonal and decorated with posters, soft pillows with matching blankets and such. All space related, galaxy patterns. Usually it was calming but not right now.

Now he spent most of his time either in therapy, writing to Cookie or wallowing. Feeling angry at being controlled again, feeling sorry for himself, feeling empty because she wasn't here.

He got up to sit at his desk and write another letter to her. The letters started as declarations of his love and apologies for his actions, whether he was in control of himself or not. Now they were a running commentary of each days events and activities, plus whatever topics branched off from that, like they used to have in the evenings after dinner. They would lay on his bed with his music playing softly, holding hands and staring at the galaxy overhead, talking about their day and whatever else came to mind. Sometimes they had stayed awake talking until the sun came up.

Bucky fell asleep at his desk as he was writing, only to be jolted awake by Friday. An alarm and reminder of the meeting in 1 hour. A hot shower didn't help wake him up so he headed to the kitchen for coffee. He grumbled the entire way, Fury scheduling a meeting at 5am was just cruel and unusual, Bucky knew it was just the beginning of the punishments they would endure until things were set right.

Just to ensure that this day was shit from the gate, the first face Bucky saw was Nat, in the kitchen. He sighed and cursed his luck.

Nat smirked "Morning Barnes, you look like you haven't slept. I can come by later and help tire you out." She practically purred.

Bucky scoffed "Hard pass." Proud of himself for remembering some of the current slang that Cookie had been trying to teach him. As he looked down he noticed Nats ankle monitor and chuckled "Nice jewelry you've got there."

Nat scowled at him "Fuck you, Barnes."

Bucky smirked "In your dreams" as Nat stomped off.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and headed towards the conference room where Steve was already waiting. He grunted a greeting to Steve and took a seat. The rest of the team trickled in until a few minutes before 5 when Nick Fury strode in, Maria Hill following right behind. Tony ambled in shortly after and sat down.

Three hours later, everyones ears were ringing from the yelling. As they walked out of the conference room, Bucky and Sam were arguing over how many times Fury hollered "mother fucker/s" over the course of the meeting.

Sam just shook his head "I've never met a man who could yell for that long without losing his voice." He looked at Bucky then towards Sharon and Nat

"All y'all better get your acts together because if I ever have to sit through 3 hours of being yelled at by Nick Fury for something I didn't do again, someone's gonna pay."

Fury had cancelled all leave, every extra perk the team had and assigned additional training and chore duty. None of them would be having much fun anytime soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day Cookie came home from work there was another letter from Bucky. She ate dinner alone, staring at the stack of letters, afraid to find out what they said.

Every time she thought about it she started thinking he was ending their friendship for good, then argued with herself that he wouldn't keep writing if that were the case.

On Friday night she sat on the couch eating takeout with the news on in the background. It almost felt like the letters themselves were calling out to her. Once she finished eating she cleaned up her mess and poured a second glass of wine. She sat back on the couch, turned the news off and turned some soft jazz music on before looking at the stack and sighing.

Cookie took a long drink of her wine before finally picking up the first letter. She looked over it for a few minutes, searching for any hint of what was said inside but it was just a plain envelope with Bucky's writing.

She carefully opened it and pulled the papers out. She took another drink to calm her nerves and unfolded the papers, gasping when something fell out, onto her lap. She looked down and her eyes grew wide as she picked up Bucky's dog tags. He never took them off, being one of the few items left from his past, he was very attached to them.

Cookie looked at the tags only to notice a second pair of tags. They were nicer than the set the Army gave Bucky when he enlisted. They had his full name and nickname, birth date with his birthstone and instead of his serial number it said 'Property of Y/N Y/L/N, bka Cookie, please call or return to the Avengers compound.' She laughed and couldn't hold the sob in.

With tears running down past the smile on her face, she put the dog tags over her head, held them against her heart and started reading.

Dear Cookie,

I'm not sure where to start, I have so much to say and the words keep getting mixed up in my head.

I miss you, more than I ever imagined missing someone. This place feels empty and cold without your warmth, your smile lit up my days and now everything seems dark.

I'm so, so sorry for everything, I never wanted to hurt you. I've only ever wanted to love and worship you like the goddess you are.

You probably already found my dog tags, I want you to have them. The other set were kinda meant as a joke but it's true. You own my heart and I think you always will.

I knew, that first day we met, that you were it for me. I know it might not have seemed like it at first but you scared me. The way my body reacted to your simple handshake scared the Hell outta me. I was a mess and you were so beautiful and smart. And caring, patiently waiting for me to come out of my shell. I know you deserve a better man than me but my time with Doctor Raynor has taught me that I do deserve happiness and good things.

The night we spent together was the best night of my life. I was finally feeling like I could be the man you deserve and even if you hate me and never want to speak to me again, I will Always hold the memory of that night, of being with you, making love to you, that feeling that everything is exactly how it's meant to be. I'll never let that go, even if I live another 107 years.

I'm sorry that our bliss was destroyed so quickly but if you let me, if you want to, we can rebuild it into something stronger.....

The letter went on with an update on life in the compound and Bucky's thoughts about everything. Cookie skimmed through that part, Sam had been keeping her updated on the gossip so she barely paid attention.

The letter finished....

I hope you are happy where you are now and I'm sorry for avoiding you. I didn't think I deserved your forgiveness or grace but now, I'm hoping I can earn both and prove to you that nothing is more important to me than your happiness.

All my love,

JBB

Cookie held the letter and dog tags to her chest as she cried herself to sleep, a deep restful sleep like she hadn't experienced in a long while.

@erelierraceala @capswife @ozwriterchick @cjand10 @wintrsoldrluvr @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @browneyedgrli @greatenthusiasttidalwave @hhiggs @dontworryboutitsweetheart-blog @behindmygreyeyes @pattiemac1 @calwitch @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @ordelixx @blackhawkfanatic @casey1-2007 @scott-loki-barnes @selella @hiireadstuff @winterschildren8

Chapter 11

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #james bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #no benefits

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ebongawk · 9 months ago

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"Just Chrissy comforting Eddie through something" for @kirasometimess

(I actually wrote this before, but it was serious so I'm gonna make this one more lighthearted 😘😘)

The door banged open, startling Chrissy and making her slosh her tea onto the blanket she was wrapped in. Squeaking out a little, "Oh, nuggets," she set the mug aside and stood up to greet her boyfriend.

"Hey!" she said, waving from beside the couch as Eddie kicked the door closed behind him as aggressively as he'd kicked it open. "You're home early!"

A grumble was his only response. Eddie shrugged out of his jacket, letting it drop to the floor as he toed off his shoes. He paused, looking down at the crumpled leather as though it had personally offended him, before letting out a heavy sigh and swooping down to grab it. Hanging it up beside her tea coat on the wall rack.

"Long day?" she asked, weaving her way through their eclectic spread of belongings – his guitar stands, her knitting supplies, their overflowing shared bookshelf – and standing just beside the entryway.

"Longest fuckin' day of my stupidly long life," he huffed, bending down to press a kiss to her cheek before stepping around her and heading for the bedroom.

Chrissy pattered behind him, watching amusedly as he fell face-first onto their bed. He let out a low, muffled groan.

"Take it the new drummer wasn't up to snuff?"

The groan, which had never really quieted, grew louder against their mattress.

"Did you kick him out, or did Jeff?"

Eddie shook his head. Still face down, and she had to wonder how he could even breathe.

"Grant?"

A nod that tangled his hair against the sheets. Chrissy stuffed a laugh into her elbow, trying to disguise it as a cough, and Eddie rolled himself enough to send a single glaring eye her direction.

"S'not funny," he mumbled. "At this rate, I'm gonna have to pick up more stupid shifts at my stupid corporate job."

Chrissy hummed, gliding across the room and hoisting herself onto the bed. She shuffled up, bracketing her knees on either side of his hips and sitting down on his lower back.

Eddie worked as a part-time mechanic for a chain company that worked on small engine maintenance. He mostly did oil changes and tune-ups, and she knew he didn't hate it, but he also only worked enough to pay half their bills and rent studio space for Corroded Coffin practices. Which was perfectly fine – Chrissy made plenty to cover the rest. Eddie had supported her fully while she was in school. It was the least she could do to return the favor as he chased his dream.

"The horror of having to work full-time like a real adult," she mused. Eddie wiggled, halfheartedly trying to buck her from her new throne, and Chrissy giggled. Her hands fisted in his t-shirt like horse reins, waiting until he calmed down before she began gently massaging his shoulders.

"I don't wanna," he whined, burying his face in their comforter. "Why did stupid Gareth have to go and get his girlfriend pregnant. 'Oh, sorry guys, I know the label is finally sniffing around after our latest demo, but I knocked El up and gotta quit.' Who does that?"

"Someone who has to take new responsibilities into account after their priorities change," Chrissy responded, grinning when Eddie gradually began to relax under her touch. The stiffness in his shoulders easing with the gentle but firm rolls of her palms into his spine.

"Rude," Eddie huffed. "It's like he didn't think at all of how this would make me feel."

"How dare he," Chrissy agreed sarcastically.

"I know you're joking, but–– fuck that feels good," he moaned, adjusting until he was sprawled like a starfish beneath her touch. "But, Christ, it's like we've been doing all this shit for the past decade for nothing."

"You recorded your first demo in Jeff's garage when you were sixteen," Chrissy retorted. "I know that's technically a decade, but I don't think it counts."

"Ugh," Eddie grunted, his bucking wiggle even less effective than the last one. "Leave me alone to rot, Cunningham."

"What if I," she began, curling over his back and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "become a Chrissy Backpack instead!"

Nose pressed against his nape, she inhaled his familiar scent. Rugged and pine and a hint of sweat from playing in the studio all day. It was her favorite smell. She wanted to figure out how to make a candle out of it and take it to work so she could smell Eddie all day long.

"You know you're going to do great things, right?" she asked him after a moment. "That label would be ludicrous not to pull you guys in. And maybe they have an incredible drummer on hand who's just waiting for the perfect band to come along, and it's Corroded Coffin, and you bring Gareth back in the future for reunion tours but you also become great friends with the new drummer, and you get to be an amazing uncle to Gareth and El's little bean."

He sighed, but turned his head a little, displaying one open eye and his cheek. Giving Chrissy enough access to lean up and kiss it.

"And then I'll be able to quit my stupid corporate job and open up a craft store where I sell hand-knitted and crocheted goods, and I'll call it 'Corroded Crochet', so everyone knows I'm with you."

"What about the people who don't know us?"

"I'll be sure to inform them in depth, don't worry."

Eddie huffed a laugh beneath her, the sound making his ribs quake and his skin taste like happiness. After letting her play backpack for another minute, he suddenly rolled over, pinning her beneath his body. Her legs kicked out and the wind whooshed from her chest.

"Ack–– Eddie! I can't breathe!"

"Backpacks don't even have lungs, Cunningham."

"But I have legs!"

"Ow, fuck, sweetness, my poor tummy!"

"Revenge, Munson."

"But it's so empty already!"

"Does it want conciliatory Chinese food for dinner?"

"Shit, baby, I love you so goddamn much."

Chrissy screamed in delight when Eddie suddenly stood, keeping her attached to his back as he galloped into the living room. He grabbed the cordless phone, depositing her on the couch as he dialed their favorite takeout place.

"Hey, Eddie?"

She could hear the phone ringing through the line when he looked at her.

"I love you, too," she reminded him.

He smiled that huge, goofy grin that made her insides melt, eyes softening and head tilting to one side as he looked at her like he'd never seen anything quite as lovely in his life. Like he wanted to pounce on her, lay himself across the couch and hold her as close a physically possible. Just as he moved toward her – probably to do exactly that – the voice on the other end of the phone spoke louder.

"Hello? Ming's Chinese?"

"Oh, shit, uh. Yeah. Yes. Hello? Fuck, sorry, sorry. I, uh, wanna order takeout?"

Chrissy laughed all the way through his order.

(inspo ask 🥰)

#hellcheer #eddissy #eddie x chrissy #eddie munson #stranger things #chrissy x eddie #my writing #hellcheer drabble #chrissy cunningham

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thebisexualdogdad · 2 months ago

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Smutober day 5: Myka Bering x Male!reader - The artifact

“Wow this vase is ugly, why would anyone want this,” you joke, picking up the vase that Artie sent you to Oregon to get.

Myka takes it from you and examines it carefully, it was bigger than expected so you didn't have a goo bag big enough, she'd have to throw it in her suitcase to get goo'd back at the warehouse, “when did Artie say this was from?”

“The 70's, it was some hippie cult leaders,” you shrug pulling out your Farnsworth and calling Claudia.

“Alright Claudia we got the vase,” Myka says when she picks up.

“Uhh you guys are wearing gloves right?” Claudia asks.

“No why? What is this thing gonna do? Make us really high?” You crack.

“Artie didn't tell you what the artifact does did he,” Jinks chimes in with an amused grin.

“Please tell me it's not gonna make us high,” Myka sighs.

“Actually the cult leader it belonged to was known for having a lot of crazy orgies… the vase is oozing with sexual energy,” Claudia informs you.

“Did you just say this vase is gonna make us horny?” You question.

“Well it wouldn't have if you were wearing gloves,” Claudia says.

“Artie didn't warn us to wear gloves!” Myka shouts.

You and Myka head back to your hotel, not saying a word to each other in the rental car.

The effects of the artifact hadn't kicked in yet so you awkwardly say goodnight and go to your separate rooms.

There had been sexual tension between you and Myka since you joined the team but both agreed it was better not to get involved with a coworker despite the constant teasing you endured from Pete.

You laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling trying to clear your mind of the inappropriate thoughts you were having.

You already wanted Myka bad enough but now you were literally uncontrollably horny, you had to fight the urge to not touch yourself.

Needing a distraction you turn to burning off energy another way, jumping jacks and push ups.

You begin your little hotel room workout but it didn't do a damn thing, all you could think about was Myka.

Kissing Myka.

Touching Myka.

Making love to Myka- shit you had to stop thinking like that.

It was time for your last resort, an ice cold shower so you take your shirt off but before you step in the bathroom there's a knock on your door.

Were you dreaming? You opened the door and it was Myka standing on the other side.

“Myka, hey,” you stammer out.

“Uh hi,” she says, eyes glazing over the sweat dripping down your stomach, “I just wanted to… make sure you were alright.”

“Yep I'm good,” you say staring at her lips that you wanted to kiss so badly.

“Great well I should… probably go back to my room,” she says awkwardly.

“Okay,” you reply but as she goes to turn away you blurt out, “Myka wait.”

You just look at each other, the tension more intense than ever and that's when Myka gives in and kisses you.

You stumble back into your room, slamming the door shut with your lips locked and hands exploring one another.

“Wait wait wait,” you say reluctantly pulling away from her, “this is just because of the artifact.”

“I want you Y/N and I know you want me too, not because of the artifact either,” she says, rubbing her thumb across your cheek.

“God I want you so much,” you groan, picking her up and carrying her to the bed.

You gently lay her down and she runs her hands over your bare stomach, moaning as you palm at her chest through her shirt.

She sits up to let you get rid of her shirt, and you kiss the top of her breasts above her bra.

She lays back again and you move down to her stomach, kissing and nipping at her skin.

“Can I?” You ask, toying with her belt.

“Yes,” she sighs.

You undo her belt as she kicks her shoes away, tugging her pants off leaving her in just her bra and underwear.

“You are so damn beautiful Myka,” you say, taking in the sight of her.

She blushes and you rid yourself of your own pants climbing back on top of her and deeply kissing her.

She reaches behind her back and unclips her bra, tossing it to the floor.

“I've waited so long for this,” you say kissing at her neck again, a hand slipping under the hem of her underwear and finally touching her.

She's so wet already and she groans as you rub your fingers through her.

“I've been contemplating coming over here for hours,” she says, gasping when you easily slide two fingers inside her.

“I've been so turned on I was about ready to take a cold shower to try to stop thinking about you,” you admit.

“I already made myself cum once thinking about you,” she confesses and your stomach drops at the idea of Myka touching herself because of you.

Your cock is throbbing in your underwear from how hard you are, you needed her right now.

Myka groans in frustration when your fingers disappear but you drag her underwear down her legs before getting rid of yours too.

You spread her legs apart and settle between them, slipping your cock inside her.

“Oh god,” she moans, grasping at the bed sheets.

You waste no time finding a quick rhythm of your hips.

“Faster,” she begs with a knuckle tight grip on the sheets.

You move faster, the bed creaking underneath you and Myka releases the sheets to grab her chest.

“Right there, just like that,” she says and you can't look away from her playing with her own nipples.

“I'm so close,” you mutter.

“Me too,” she nods.

With a few more thrusts Mykas walls are clamping around your cock, her back arching as she cums.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she screams as her climax hits her.

Hearing the beautiful moans she makes as she cums takes you over the edge as well so you quickly pull out of her, your cock twitching as cum spurts out across her stomach.

You fall down onto the mattress beside her, completely out of breath.

“Holy shit,” you say.

“That was amazing,” she smiles.

You look down to see your cock is already hard again, “are you kidding me.”

“I don't think this artifact is gonna wear off until we goo it at the warehouse,” Myka laughs.

“So…you're still turned on too?” You ask.

“Very,” Myka says, rolling over on top of you.

#warehouse 13 imagine #myka bering imagine #myka bering x reader #x male reader #fic

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foreverjustaplace · 10 months ago

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The Bear in the Room

AHHHHHHH!! I'm not at all normal about Syd and Carmy. Like not at all. I have been reading and writing fanfiction since elementary LOL, but it's been years and years since I wrote anything. I've devoured just about every single fanfic with the Syd/Carmy tag I could find and then some. I've had this tumblr for over a decade and posted ZERO things. Now I've retweeted every other sydcarmy post and debated sharing my own theories and fics. But it's time. Feedback is welcomed! But be gentle, my darlings, I'm not exaggerating when I say I haven’t written fanfiction in over a decade. I'm nervous. Here's an excerpt from the first chapter, which will hopefully be up soon on AO3. It's called The Bear in The Room and will be a 5+1 Time fic.

5 Times Syd called Carmy "Bear" and 1 Times he calls her "Bear"

Syd is irritated. “Look, Carm. Effective teamwork begins and ends with communication.” She doesn’t tell him she stole that line from Coach K. “How can we build this up to be as successful as we want it to be if you’re not even telling me you’re going to be late? Or, I don’t know, text me if you’re not going to come in at all during our scheduled time.”

“Syd, that was one time. And I didn’t realize my phone wasn’t plugged in properly which is why it died and I couldn’t text you until much later. That’s my fault. I was tired–”

Sydney cuts him off. “Carmy, dude, I’ve literally gotten less than five hours of sleep each night for the last couple of weeks. We’re all tired. We’ve been tired. This shit isn’t new for us. We need you on your A-game. I need you at your best!”

Carmy runs both of his hands through his hair, and his voice is strained but louder than it’s been all morning. “Syd, you are the one person who gets me at my best. If I’m fucking up out there,” he gestures to the windows behind them as he continues, “I’m doing everything in my power to not bring that shit near you. I give you whatever my best is, okay? You have to know that I want this restaurant to succeed, and I want to get you those fucking stars.” His face redding as his electric blue eyes look into her expansive brown ones.

Syd’s annoyance is fizzling out. She knows she shouldn’t let it. She wants to keep it at the forefront of her mind. She tries to force herself to keep thinking about how he’s been absent, hanging out with his girlfriend–a friend who’s a girl–Claire–whoever she is to him–but he’s still Carm and she’s still Syd. And though she hasn’t worked on the menu with him in his apartment in weeks, and though the moments of them talking about nothing and everything outside during a smoke break, where he somehow is always just finishing the cigarette he came outside to smoke as she opens the back door and comes to sit right next to him, haven’t been as frequent, she still feels deeply connected to him.

So all she can do at that moment is bite her bottom lip and swipe her tongue on that same spot so quickly, you’d miss it if you blinked, before hesitantly responding. “You have my best, too, and I—” But she doesn’t get to finish because Fak chooses that moment to push the restaurant’s new door open and boisterously yell out to no one in particular, “Look who I found! It’s Claire Bear and she is going to help us with our GET-THE-BEAR-FUCKING-READY-FOR-OPENING-DAY day!” Syd can’t help but stare at Claire, a beat too long, with her full face of makeup and fancy-looking shirt. At least she put on some closed-toed shoes for today. Before Claire can get out of Fak’s embrace, Syd turns back to Carmen and says, “I need your best to be better,” as she walks off to find Nat.

Soo what do you think? Is it worth posting?

#sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #the bear fanfiction #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #the bear

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otherworldlygate · 7 months ago

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Once again it's Regal appreciation hour by which I mean day by which I mean year by which I mean lifetime.

I was very much prepared to not write any fanfiction this year, but I cannot divorce myself from how awesome my favorite Symphonia blorbos are and so I am writing yet another stupid fanfic. I feel feral about these characters in general but Raine gets quite a lot of attention (because she's wonderful, obviously) so I don't want to focus on her too much. Regal, on the other hand, has been underappreciated in the ToS fandom since the game's release day, so I must advocate for him.

I've been RPing as him for the last year or so, and together my RP partner and I have written about 320,000 words of a story. I'm having a blast, and a big part of that is because Regal is, despite the flaws in the storytelling of ToS as a whole surrounding him (and how all of the Tethe'alla characters kind of fall flat), a rather well-conceived and implemented character. Yeah, his clothes are dumb (I'm happy to retcon that outfit with zero regrets) and the game blows through his story at such a breakneck pace he doesn't get the space or the arc he deserves (he should have taken his shackles off as part of his 'sacrifice' to fight the angels), but he is a genuinely fascinating character who feels, just like many of the others do, as if he belongs very specifically in the world he was created for.

I know a lot of people like to write him as this sad sack of shit just absolutely lost in the grief sauce (see the part about how he didn't get the arc he deserved), but I think that's a mistake. See, the biggest bump in the road for Regal was his lack of understanding of what was happening and why. When you think about it, he was faced with having to kill Alicia seemingly out of nowhere. Like one day he's just minding his business and the next Alicia is gone and very quickly after that she's a monster trying to kill him AND HE HAS NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. He has no answers. All he knows is that he killed her, and his autistic* brain latches onto that detail because it's all he has.

You have to think, too, about the fact that the game gives him nobody. His parents are dead. George, the only person even remotely close to Regal--someone he's known his *whole life*--betrayed him. (George didn't mean for things to go Like That and he's sorry he did it, but HE STILL DID IT.) Regal doesn't have friends and the extra material makes it clear that he was literally raised, specifically by his father, to be a workaholic. Do you think anyone came to see him in prison? He fought in a coliseum for his life for YEARS. He was on friendly terms with some of the other inmates but the guy had eight years to just sit there and get stuck in the loop of knowing he killed the one person he'd let himself get even remotely close to.

Which is something else people always downplay for some reason. The shit with Alicia isn't just "guy is sad because he killed his girlfriend." It's very much, "guy was born and bred to take on the family legacy" except in this case the family legacy is a company, an island, a noble bloodline, and also the absolutely insane idea that work and profit is all that matters. Everyone else is out to get you. Keep the workers dissatisfied but keep them hooked just enough that they'll never leave. Take no time for fun or friends or merriment. Everything in your life is a business transaction. Don't ever forget it. It's us vs. them. You're alone and you have to make this your entire life or it'll all fall to pieces and it will be your fault.

The drama cd in particular really honed in on that way of being raised and it makes his entire character make complete sense. At a relatively young age his father died and he ended up on top (though it's stated he had to work as a CEO before he was elected via a board to the position of President). Having no other guidelines other than what he was taught--and what George himself adhered to--Regal followed that path...until he ended up miserable, because, despite the way he was raised, he's a goddamn empath**.

After literal YEARS of occasionally running into Alicia and talking to her, he starts forming a connection to her--which is important because he's never allowed himself to do this before. And at one point he realizes he doesn't even know her name...which comes as a surprise to him...and brings with it shame. After this, he starts living for himself. He listens to his employees--something his father never did. He starts enacting rules to protect his employees, particularly from things that would hurt them in the field, because part of what was making him so miserable was wrestling with the empathy of their terrible working conditions on top of just hearing his father's manta repeating itself in his head all the time.

I cannot stress enough how important this is. Alicia, despite being a love interest and someone he was interested in seriously dating and perhaps someday marrying (the details of their relationship are never known but it's almost more tragic if they were just starting to be serious), WAS STILL HIS EMPLOYEE.

He was supposed to protect his employees. He was doing so much to ensure his employees would be safe. And then he killed Alicia.

Alicia, the one person he allowed himself to get close to.

Now, consider the fact that he was raised as a tool and not a beloved son; he was not allowed to have friends and not allowed to make merry. He was under his father's thumb until his father's untimely death--a death, by the way, that only surprised him with its suddenness; he did not grieve that man!! Regal, as a 25-year-old man, had ZERO coping mechanisms. All he had was the truth he was raised under and the fact that he went against that truth AND WAS NOW BEING PUNISHED FOR IT. How can someone like this think of anything except that they are the reason George was put in a position where he had to get rid of Alicia? That the only reason Alicia was experimented on and turned into a monster was because of her connection to Regal?

IT MAKES ME FEEL SO FERAL!!!

The events of the game open his eyes to the ACTUAL truth, to what actually happened AND WHY IT HAPPENED TO ALICIA. In the end he learns he had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. If he had not befriended and started falling for Alicia, she still would have died--it's just, if she hadn't had a more direct connection to Regal, who knows where she might have met her end. Alone, forgotten? At least someone knew her as she was; at least someone can tell Presea the kind of person her sister was.

The ToS fandom has always loved joking about how Regal's just into punishment as a kink or whatever (and I'll never forgive the shitty non-canon-in-my-heart sequel for leaning so hard into that angle, fuck you fuck you fuck you) but let's be serious about it for a hot second. Yes, I think learning this information puts him on a better path, but you can't erase 8 years of self-loathing and fear instantly. Did you guys really think this man would just forget about the darkest years of his life and start frolicking in fields of flowers?

The trauma he's endured goes so much deeper than "I killed the person I loved," and boiling it down to that really does the character a disservice. The "born for a specific purpose, not allowed to exist outside of that purpose" bit is also given to Colette and Zelos, but while their role is being a sacrifice whose only use is dying or procreating to continue the line to have more sacrifices (absolutely also traumatizing btw), Regal's situation feels a lot more like indoctrinated religion and, very specifically (and no I am not kidding), religious trauma. Again, he endured that very controlled lifestyle complete with a mantra from birth into his early 20s, and the MOMENT he broke away from it too far, his life came crashing down around him in a very painful and traumatizing way.

Now, you might think the religious trauma parallel is unfounded, if not also the indoctrinated religion aspect of it, it could just as easily be a parallel for an abusive and controlling relationship, right down to the betrayal from someone who is supposed to have your best interests at heart the moment you step outside of that control to the feelings of shame and self-loathing and "you did this to yourself."

So whenever I see people joking about what a sad sack of shit he is or whatever, I'm just astounded, especially if it's coming from someone who loves literally any other character in the game. Like, you'll definitely have your blorbos, and I totally understand if Regal just ain't it for you, but I find it really disconcerting that someone might find (for example) Yuan's trauma deeply meaningful but see Regal's as stupid or silly.

I'm pretty sure I started this post to talk about how easy it is for me to RP as Regal because he's just such a great character to sink into and write about, particularly because I like to imagine that, starting in the post-game, he deeply regrets some of the choices he's made in his life, and, rather than lean into the things that have already transpired, he seeks to do what he can to better the world around him with the resources and power that he has.

It's like the ultimate fuck-you to the way his father raised him. He's not wasting the skills he's developed, but he's also not using them to hurt people or for personal or Lezareno profit.

I think most of us love writing about characters who have to work through their trauma, but there's an extra layer here that I particularly enjoy with Regal. With Raine I'm all about her inability to trust easily and her struggle to feel truly comfortable around other people, but with Regal I think it's maybe specifically related to the fact that he has had a lot handed to him that he didn't necessarily want, and his self-sacrificing nature lends itself to him feeling obligated to take it. I fully believe Regal would be happier and better off stepping away from Lezareno and from his family's toxic ass legacy*** (or at least not working it full-time as the acting President) but I can't ignore the fact that...these things are all he has and all he knows. So writing about him attempting to get back into the swing of things, maybe struggling to find time for himself, falling into workaholic patterns by mistake, learning to set boundaries between his private life and his job...all while not being fully satisfied and finding more fulfillment in charity work and other pursuits, just makes him feel like a very well-rounded character. Like...it's believable that he would continue to work a job he didn't particularly love specifically because not only does he not know anything else, but he knows with this position of power he can make a lot of things happen that would be impossible if he just twiddled his thumbs on the sidelines--like financial assistance going to Palmacosta, or his duties as a nobleman to try to get better laws passed in Tethe'alla, etc.

This was a pretty clumsily-written post and for that I am truly sorry. I've just been absolutely insane lately thinking about Regal and I had to get some of why I think he's such a wonderful character out into the world.

*this is just my headcanon but a lot about Regal screams autism to me.

**this is canon as far as I'm concerned. I wrote him this way far before I ever heard the drama cd, and the drama cd just solidified it for me tenfold.

***there's a scene in the hotel with Lloyd I think where Regal says his family's legacy on Altamira started when Tethe'alla flipped over to being a flourishing world last, which means they were in a position of power great enough to build an empire on Altamira already at that time (800+ years ago). I don't want to get into how awful this probably was or how evil the family was because I think you can all imagine that for yourselves. Also, nobody ever mentions the fact that Regal is the last of his family line, but it's a very convenient built-in control tactic to guilt someone into doing as they're told or risk bringing shame to a family that's been going strong and unbroken for over 1,000 years.

#regal bryant #tales of symphonia meta #tales of symphonia

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akwolfgrl · 9 months ago

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How sweet it is to be loved by them part 3

It was another long day ahead of him, Zoro had been using this time for mediating and training his observation haki. But he missed his husband. He's missed traveling and testing his skills. Curly had promised spicy and soy raw marinated carb in his onigri tonight, so he had that to look forward to. Sanjis scent had long faded, the omega always careful about leaving a trail.

A familer presonos tip toed closer to where he was tied up. The little girl he had saved crept towards him as two unfamiliar people preed from over the wall. As she came closer, he could see she held aloft two lumpy balls of rice in her tiny hands. She wasn't safe. There were marines crawling all around this place, and he didn't want her to be hurt.

“Go away,” He told her before she could say anything. The marines here were under command of someone who cares not for the weak and small.

“I burghtt you food Mr. Marimo, I worked really hard on this,” Rika ignored him. She must be spending too much time with Sanji if she was calling him Marimo. He could smell hints of him along with her mother. Pups always had a soft muted scent. They smelt more like their parents and the people they spent time with. “Please eat it. You must be really, really hungry,”

“I'm not hungry,” He should be more than he was, but his husband kept him from going hungry. He would have gone without, but Curly wouldn't hear of it.

“It was my first time making them, I watched mom and Mr. Sanji a whole lot first,”

“Scram! Go on, get outta here!” He growled menacingly at her. He could feel them drawing near. She had to get out before they found her. But she only shook her head and stepped closer, still her eyes wide and far to trusting. He couldn't remember a time when neither his nor Sanji's eyes were that innocent and naive. He hoped they stayed that way for a long time to come. “Leave or I'll kill you!” Sanji would kick him if he heard him say it, but at this point, time was running out.

“Roronoa Zoro! Is that really any way to talk to a kid? Or are you working together and worried you'll get caught?” The little fucker who put him here suanted over in a guady suit or at least that's what curly called it anyway and reeking of perfume. He was flanked as always by a few Marines to weak and lazy to do anything on his own. “Oh what's this? Thouse sure do look good,” The anyoing fucker stole one of balls of rice and took a bite.

“Hey! That's not for you!” Rika cried out.

“Disgusting!” He spit the food out. “It's to dam sweet! Did you use sugar instead of slat!?” He screamed at the little girl. Zoro wanted to smack the shit out of the guy. His swords were too good to cover with his blood.

“But I thought they would taste better if they were sweet,” She told him, who knows maybe she could turn them into a dessert. Zoro hated sweet thing but he knew better than to waste food and to yell at an inceont child…he was only doing it to try and save her.

The blond with the ass for a face samtched the other ball of rice from her hands and therw both om the ground and stomped on them both. What the fuck was worng with him!? Ever before meeting his husband, even if he didn't know why Sanji and Zeff were against food waste he hated it to. After his prants died and before the dojo had taken him in he hadn't know when his next meal would be. He had gone to sleep many a night curled up with an empty belly.

“But I worked so hard to make thouse,” Rika knelt next to the dirty rice crying. Thire was nothing he could do, nothing that wouldn't make this worse.

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use-your-telescope · 1 year ago

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When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 9: Something So Brand New

Summary: Theo makes good on her promise to Loki, and shenanigans ensue.

Author's Notes: So this is a longer chapter than I usually post, but given it all takes place during the span of one evening it didn’t make sense to split into two chapters. If you love Loki/Theo interactions, you’re in for a treat here. There’s also Brodinsons and Wanda/Theo friendship building as well.

I’m *hoping* to post my next chapter on December 10, but I sense that we’re about to hit a rocky patch at my job as a series of stressors all collide (aka shit’s about to hit the fan), so I’m going to give myself a one week buffer and say that the chapter will be up by no later than December 17th. It’s written, but I’ve found that I like to go back and do an in-depth editing pass before posting that usually takes at least a few hours… Essentially, I would rather underpromise and overdeliver than say I’ll post something and then just… not.

Oh, and RE: shit hitting the fan at work - I’m not worried about myself amidst the work stuff (I’m not about to lose my job or anything). I'm worried about the students I work with and how they’ll handle everything… And since my job is supporting said students, I imagine I’ll probably have my hands full. I’m intentionally being vague for privacy reasons, and in hopes that it doesn’t blow up so my concern is pointless.

Completely unrelated, but I saw The Maine live last week and they opened with this song! They put on a great live show. 10/10 do recommend.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: Alcohol/Drinking (including getting a bit too drunk).

Word Count: 9,384

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Dose No. 2 - The Maine

First breath out of a coma Over and over Oh what a lovely view of you A two step into disorder I stumble forward Towards something so brand new

“Hey, uh - some of us are going to hang out up on the roof tonight. Want to join?”

Ever since Theo relented to Loki’s begging (and though he wouldn’t admit it, he totally begged her to join them), a foreboding sense of dread hung over Theo like a storm cloud, waiting for this very moment. A night of forced socializing and feigned pleasantries as the other Avengers tried not to make their suspicions about Theo painfully obvious - Theo would rather watch paint dry.

Across the threshold, hope radiated through the smile on Wanda’s face. She stood with hands in hoodie pockets, jeans and birkenstocks completing the Scarlet Witch’s look for that day. The outfit surprised Theo - from observation, Wanda only wore pants when working out, opting for skirts and dresses in daily life. Theo would have confidently bet real money that Wanda didn’t even own a pair of jeans.

Then again, it wasn’t the first time Theo was wrong, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Every possible excuse percolated in Theo’s mind for why she couldn’t join - lying about having plans, claiming she was tired or didn’t feel well, even outright admitting she didn’t want to go – but then Loki’s voice interrupted her thoughts, reminding her about the deal she struck.

And, well, after reading about the aftermath of Ultron and Sokovia, Theo realized they had more in common than she first thought.

“I— yeah, sure.” Theo swallowed thickly, steeling herself for a miserable evening. She forced a smile at Wanda, praying that the expression didn’t look as uncomfortable as it felt. “I’ll join - let me grab a couple things first.”

Wanda’s face lit up, eyes wide as planets as she processed Theo's answer. “Great! This is going to be awesome! Uh, you should probably grab shoes, and maybe a jacket - it’s still a bit cool out.” She babbled, still gaping at Theo.

Theo held up a finger, stepping away from the door before Wanda could continue. She grabbed a thick sweater to cut the breeze, toed on some sneakers, and plopped a beanie over her hair, pausing in front of a mirror to make sure she didn’t look like a total mess.

Wanda practically bounced down the hall, constantly glancing back to check and make sure Theo hadn’t abandoned her. Theo trailed behind, listening to Wanda recount the construction of the rooftop lounge and how this was the first year they actually could use the space, and how excited they were to finally have a nice, private outdoor space to gather. At best, Theo half-listened along, her pulse quickening with every step closer to their destination.

As they stepped out onto the rooftop, it actually seemed like the perfect night to enjoy a city skyline and a cold drink.

A fully stocked bar stood along the far end of the roof, while plenty of outdoor seating offered opportunities for everything from lounging around to enjoying a meal. The space even featured a fireplace table and heat lamps for cooler nights, which already had been turned on to cut the chill. True to the Stark aesthetic, all of the furniture came in muted tones and clean lines, sharing design language with the indoor common areas.

The other Avengers had settled in among a series of outdoor sectionals, some standing around the periphery while others gathered near the bar. As they drew closer, Theo realized that the company for the evening consisted of not only Avengers Tower residents, the Avengers who resided elsewhere…

Oh god, when Theo caved to Loki’s request, she had not expected it to play out like this; she thought it would be a movie night, or going out to dinner. Not everyone and their mother staring at her.

As if she sensed Theo’s nervousness, Wanda grabbed Theo’s hand and smiled at her, pulling her towards the larger group.

With every step, Theo braced herself for an icy reception, all the while building up the courage to put on a brave face. She met everyone once, that first day when she was announced as an Avenger - maybe twice, if she counted the briefing that she crashed - so at least there were no new faces.

Small blessings, she supposed.

Wanda didn’t go of Theo’s hand until they reached the edge of the group. It only took Wanda a moment to find Vision, standing behind one of the sectionals as he chatted with Shuri about something very science-y. Vision casually wrapped an arm around her, listening intently to Shuri, who gestured animatedly as she responded.

Nearby, King T’Challa sat tall, dressed in a hybrid of western and African clothing with shoulders squared back as he conversed with Natasha about the United Nations and Wakanda. He spoke with a measured cadence that indicated he put great thought and intent into his words. On the opposite side of Natasha, Yelena slouched back in her seat, scrolling through her phone while laughing at something on screen.

Not far from Yelena, Peter Parker told Tony about school and the latest device he was building. His enthusiasm struck Theo, and she caught herself smiling as she noticed the way Peter mirrored Shuri’s animated gestures, hands flailing wildly as he attempted to describe the contraption. Colonel Rhodes listened from the other side of Tony, with open posture and head tilted to the side, nodding along patiently… It was quite the contrast, especially next to the borderline manic tendencies of Tony and Peter’s unbridled enthusiasm.

Nearby, Bruce spoke with Dr. Stephen Strange - a tall, thin man whose expression was entirely too serious and his posture uncomfortably rigid, which, if Theo thought about it, made sense for a former neurosurgeon. Sharon Carter chatted with Steve, Sam, and Bucky, laughter regularly erupting from the quartet; apparently, they were familiar with each other and had a lot to catch up on.

Clint looked at home behind the bar with Scott Lang, snippets of conversation about their kids floating over the other conversations as they prepared drinks for everyone and brought them over to the group.

Loki and Thor sat in deep discussion with the Valkyrie (or, as Loki often called her, Val) about something related to New Asgard; seeing a Valkyrie in a chunky sweater and Timbalands still threw Theo for a loop, but she knew that different people would adapt different aspects of life on Earth.

Thor noticed Theo standing there, bewildered at the sight of everyone in one location.

“Lady Theo!” Thor exclaimed, standing to greet her. “Welcome to your first family night!”

Wait - did he just say family night?

Theo could practically hear the world screech to a halt as everyone fell silent, gaping at the new addition. Her heart stuttered in her chest as she froze in place, a veritable deer in the headlights.

“Brother—“ Loki hissed, rolling his eyes as he elbowed his brother. “Do not overwhelm her.”

“Uh… hi?” Theo cringed at how pathetic she sounded. “Sorry, didn’t mean to disrupt.”

“No apologies necessary - come, take a seat.“ Loki offered Theo a reassuring smile as he gestured for her to sit next to him.

“Watch out, the prince is rescuing Rapunzel.” Tony teased, a smirk on his face as he raised a glass to her.

“Watch out everyone, Stark is jealous that a woman is not racing to offer herself up to him,” Loki retorted, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Raucous laughter came from Loki’s response; even Theo giggled as she sank into the cushions beside him. Loki, in turn, flashed a smirk and winked at her, before effortlessly folding Theo into the Asgardians’ conversation. Without needing to ask, Scott brought Theo an old fashioned, which caused a rush of gratitude to flood Theo’s veins.

The alcohol wouldn’t have much of an effect on her, but having something to occupy her hands with was always appreciated.

Likewise, the others returned to their conversations. Over time, topics shifted and incorporated other people, slowly snowballing as everyone tuned into the larger discussions.

At one natural lull in conversation, Loki went to refill his drink, leaving a vacant spot beside Theo in the process. He barely made it behind the bar when, with a whoop, Shuri leapt over the sectional and claimed the seat as her own. “Ha ha!” Shuri’s face was smug as she shimmied into the cushion, crossing one leg over the other as she stretched her arms along the back of the seat. “This will make a lovely throne.”

Despite the stutter of her heart from Shuri startling her, Theo couldn’t help but laugh when she caught T’Challa rolling his eyes at his sister.

“Excuse me, that was my seat!” Loki scowled, gesturing wildly to where he previously sat.

“Not anymore.” Shuri stuck her tongue out at him. “Besides, you speak to Theo all the time. It’s my turn.”

The latter part of Shuri’s comment nearly made Theo choke on her drink - up until that point, hardly any attention was paid to Theo’s presence. Was that about to change?

“You are lucky I like you, princess,” Loki rolled his eyes, but let out a breathless laugh and shook his head. “Or else I might banish you to an alternate realm.” His threat lacked any teeth; if anything, it came off as a joke. He offered Theo a reassuring glance and the slightest nod, as if encouraging Theo to trust that Shuri wouldn’t make it weird.

Theo masked her nerves with a sip of her cocktail, allowing the notes of smoke and citrus to coat her tongue.

If Shuri noticed the interaction, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she struck up a conversation about a funny tiktok trend that made her think of Theo, eventually morphing into a conversation about medical technology.

Seat stealing, however, was only the prelude to a series of hijinks during the evening.

It started innocently enough. A few drinks into the evening, Tony entertained the team with one of his tales about inventions gone wrong - this time, DUM-E had sprayed a visiting SHIELD agent with a fire extinguisher instead of the computer that actually caught on fire.

While he rambled, Wanda glanced over and made eye contact with Theo. Wanda rolled her eyes before mouthing, “Want to see something fun?”

Theo nodded, curious to see what Wanda was going to do.

A moment later, Tony reached forward to grab his drink and take a sip of it, only to stick his hand through the glass…

Where a nearly empty cocktail previously sat was nothing more than an illusion.

Theo’s eyes darted to Wanda, who stood behind Tony sipping his drink. Theo had to bite back a laugh as Wanda grimaced and shook her head, not a fan of whatever Tony had in his lowball.

“What the hell happened to my drink?” Tony whipped around, looking to see if someone had hidden it. His eyes settled on Loki, who glanced around at the others as he held his own drink, casually taking a swig. Either Loki hadn’t noticed, or he was really good at keeping a straight face.

“Reindeer games, I swear to god-”

“I thought we’d moved past such childish accusations.” Loki cocked an eyebrow at him, unamused.

“He didn’t move, Stark. Chill.” Bucky defended the Asgardian prince.

“Well someone took it, and it wasn’t Captain Stick-in-the-Mud.” Tony retorted, looking around the group. The glass vanished from Wanda’s hand before Tony could see it, presumably returning to the table where it started.

“Okay guys, this isn’t funny,” Tony whined, completely oblivious to his beverage’s return to the table.

To her left, Theo caught Loki taking a large drink of whatever was in his cup to stifle a laugh – he knew exactly what Wanda was up to.

Just then, Tony turned back around to discover his drink in its original location. He groaned, slouching back in his seat. “Anyone who wants to turn in their cape for stand-up comedy, just let me know.”

As he returned to his story, Wanda winked at Theo before sending her a text message– “So we have a game during family time...”

Theo stared at the screen for a moment before typing out a reply. “Which is…?”

Wanda’s face lit up as she read the message; a playful smile pulled across her lips as she typed out a reply. “How many pranks can we pull off before one of us starts laughing.”

Suddenly, a message from Loki popped up as well. “The only rule is that no one should be harmed. Otherwise, it’s fair game.”

Oh. Apparently Loki was playing along too.

Another message from Wanda came in: “You want in?”

Tempting, but with her reputation…

“Sounds fun, but not sure…” Theo responded, “I don’t know that the others trust me. Pranking them might make it worse.”

“If anything, they’ll believe I am the perpetrator,” Loki assured her via text message. “My affiliation with mischief and trickery lends itself to suspicion.”

Not only did Loki speak like he just read a thesaurus, but he even texted like it.

Theo stared at the screen for a moment, weighing her options. On one hand, she could stand to loosen up a little and have some fun. On the other hand, pranking someone could go over like a lead balloon if the prank didn’t land well; she needed to be confident that whoever she pranked would not be upset if she partook.

By then, Sam launched into a story about his last trip to see his sister and nephews in Louisiana. Bucky had tagged along, in part because the point of the trip was to fix up the Wilsons’ boat, and Sam knew he’d need an extra set of hands. A pigeon waddled about on the roof, only a few feet from where Sam sat. Sam, however, was oblivious to the bird’s presence; he was too busy mimicking how Bucky stole Sam’s tools to fix a leaky valve instead of simply using his vibranium arm.

After over a month of listening to Julie pine endlessly over Sam and his down to earth personality, ass of a national treasure, and good-natured sense of humor, Theo swore she knew more about Sam than she knew about her own cousin…

An idea sprung to Theo’s mind. She set her glass on the table, casually lowered her hands out of sight, and whispered an incantation.

“How do you know vibranium would hold up to the steam?” The pigeon asked, cocking its head to the side as it waited for an answer.

Sam nearly leapt out of his seat as his eyes bugged out of his head.

“Wait a minute, wait just a minute – please tell me you all just heard that.” Sam stared at the others as they all gawked at the pigeon. Theo, however, snatched her glass and took a sip of her old fashioned so she didn’t give herself away. “Did that bird just talk?”

“Falcon, I did not realize that your skill set included speaking to birds.” Loki answered without missing a beat.

Theo nearly spit out her drink as she fought the urge to burst into laughter.

“Hey, just because I’m called Falcon doesn’t mean I like birds.” Sam argued, a twinkle in his eye as he settled back into his chair. He must have known there was some magic at play; if Theo was lucky, he would not know whose magic created the illusion.

“I want some of whatever he’s drinking,” Theo pointed at Sam, pretending to be oblivious about the use of magic so she did not draw suspicion. “Because that must be some good shit.”

“No,” Tony replied, “The good shit is the Asgardian stuff.”

“That stuff will knock you on your ass unless you’re a god,” Sam agreed with a toothy grin and a nod. “Even the super soldiers get drunk on it.”

“Tony, I’m assuming you tried it?” Sharon asked, narrowing her eyes at the billionaire.

“Of course I did,” he scoffed, putting a hand on his chest, “I am a connoisseur - had to see if the hype was true.”

“Until you had the hangover from hell the next day.” Natasha pointed out, a smirk dancing on her lips while she crossed her arms.

“Please,” Tony retorted, “It barely holds a candle to the frat party from hell-”

“-in your second year at MIT.” Rhodes, Sam, and Steve answered simultaneously, all rolling their eyes.

Tony must have told that particular story a time or twenty before.

“Lady Theo,” Thor called from behind the bar. “I’m about to refill my beverage. Would you like to try some Asgardian ale?”

Theo glanced over at Loki and raised her eyebrows at him, hoping he’d give her some sort of subtle cue about whether it was a good idea; he just smirked at her and winked.

Not helpful at all.

Then again, the night had gone well up to that point…

“Sure, why not?” Theo replied with a short shrug of her shoulders. She assumed that he’d take a shot glass from the bar and put a little ale in the glass - it may fuck up a normal person, but that was probably only when consumed in large quantities. A small amount of the ale wouldn’t hurt, right?

What she didn’t expect was Thor to bring over a massive mug of ale, filled to the brim.

“That’s alcohol poisoning about to happen,�� Yelena cracked up as she saw the size of the mug.

Nearby, the Valkyrie cackled. “Thor, remember that Midgardians can’t handle booze like you can.”

“My liver hurts just looking at that.” Bruce commented, letting out a nervous chuckle but shaking his head.

Well, whether she wanted to share or not, the Avengers were going to learn something new about Theo.

“Oh, that’s what healing magic is for. Healing your liver after alcohol damage.” Theo quipped, earning a surprised snort out of Tony. A surge of confidence rushed through her as she winked, glanced at the deep red, clear liquid, then took a drink.

Given the ale’s reputation, Theo expected it to taste like everclear - practically straight ethanol that burned when consumed. However, a delightful, complex blend of flavors - citrus, juniper, and caramel - coated her mouth. Only a hint of hoppy bitterness accompanied, but each flavor in the unlikely combination balanced the others surprisingly well.

Theo smiled and gave Thor a nod of approval. “That’s better than I expected,” she admitted before she took another drink. “I was expecting something that burned my mouth from the alcohol content, but this is downright pleasant.”

“I bet you twenty bucks you can’t finish that.” Bucky challenged, a smirk spread across his features as he leaned back into his seat.

Bucky had no idea what he was getting himself into.

“The bet is just that I can’t finish it? That’s boring. Of course I’m going to finish it.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. Sitting up a bit taller, she puffed her chest out in defiance and drank a large swig of ale.

“The real bet would be if she doesn’t throw it up afterwards – just because it goes into her system doesn’t mean she won’t get sick from it.” Steve pointed out, “Not that I think this is a good idea, mind you.”

Remarks like that were probably how Steve earned the nickname of “Captain Stick-in-the-Mud.”

Theo whipped out her wallet, throwing a $20 bill down on the table. “Game on. $20 bet that I can drink this and keep it all down.”

Bucky reached across to shake Theo’s hand before putting in his own $20 bill.

Shuri and Yelena whooped in support, pumping their fists in the air. Bruce sighed as he shook his head and rubbed his temples. Steve rolled his eyes, while Clint smirked and shot Scott a look of well, this should get interesting. Peter’s eyes widened, despite furrowing his brow - he looked like he was worried.

What a sweet, sweet summer child.

Theo took another sip of the ale, then spoke up. “We need some tunes playing. It’s too quiet up here.”

“Oh! I have some new music we can listen to!” Wanda jumped at the opportunity to hook her phone up to the wireless speakers. “It’s a local band that Vision and I saw last week. Theo, I think you’d like them – they sounded kind of like the music your band played.”

It was hard to imagine Vision at a concert, standing there with relatively stiff posture as other people were grooving to the music… He must have really liked Wanda to let her bring him to concerts. Did he like the same music as her?

Did he even like music?

Did androids have likes and dislikes? Or feelings? How did that work?

That was a rabbit hole to go down another day.

What sounded like some generic indie-pop music started to float through the air, but it was pleasant enough to be good background music.

Loki sent another message – this time solely to Theo. “Are you truly planning to drink the entire mug?” Theo looked up at him, his eyebrow cocked up with skepticism and his chin dipped as he made eye contact.

“Maybe I am.” Theo replied, smiling at him and winking as his phone buzzed.

Asgard wasn’t the only realm with particularly strong alcohol, and despite Theo’s small size she was no lightweight.

The group resumed their casual chatter. Wanda, Theo, and Loki continued to cast illusions and mess with the team in subtle ways, oftentimes struggling to maintain a poker face as the rest of the team grew drunker and drunker, and as a result became much easier to mess with.

Eventually, Thor regaled the team with one of his latest adventures off-planet, voice booming as he gestured grandly about some battle he fought in. As the story started to near its climax, Theo caught the way Loki’s hand moved quietly to his side and twitched as he cast a spell.

Theo’s eyes darted around as she tried to figure out what changed – it wasn’t until she looked up at Thor that she found her answer:

Loki transformed Thor’s mug so it was shaped like a giant penis… while Thor drank out of it.

Wanda, who stood beyond Thor’s line of sight, lost it, face beet red and shoulders bouncing as she doubled over in silent laughter.

From what Loki previously shared, Thor reveled in sharing stories where he prevailed as the savior of the day. With that in mind, the choice to make Thor look absolutely ridiculous as he drunkenly extolled his heroism seemed like it was as much a jab at his self-importance as it was just plain old hilarious. Theo hadn’t taken Loki to be one for juvenile humor, but she had to hand it to him – it was well-played.

Even better, Thor didn’t even notice the change – he set the mug down on the table as he continued his story, and later on picked it up to take a swig to wet his throat.

It didn’t take long before the others started to notice the mug’s new shape. The Valkyrie looked like she about to keel over; her shoulders shook so hard from silent laughter that if Thor turned around he’d know something was off. Natasha had to bite her finger to stop herself from breaking into laughter. Steve and Peter shared wide-eye, startled expressions, leaning away from Thor… who still hadn’t noticed.

The more time that passed without Thor noticing, the funnier the spectacle became.

Finally, Sam finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“Wow Thor, you’re really swallowing that ale like a champ.”

Tony choked, then spat out his drink while the people around him recoiled from the spray. Steve turned downright crimson with secondhand embarrassment, hiding his face behind his hands.

“Yeah, you’re really gripping the shaft of the mug like it’s your job.” Bucky added, trying and failing to keep a straight face as Thor looked over at Tony and Steve, confused.

Theo’s eyes watered from trying not to laugh, and her jaw hurt from the muscle tension involved with maintaining her poker face.

“Dammit, I’m biting my tongue so hard to stop from laughing that it’s bleeding.” Wanda’s message popped up in the group chat, while Loki still effortlessly maintained a completely straight poker face and relaxed posture.

“I thought you were a bit too high-brow for a good dick joke…” Theo added, fingers tapping the screen furiously as she replied.

“I know not of what you speak,” Loki answered innocently; he glanced over at Theo and winked, then followed his message with an eggplant emoji.

Wanda nearly spit out her drink when she got that message.

Thor finally put two-and-two together as he looked down at his mug, then glared at his brother; however, he was laughing despite the glare, giant shoulders bouncing up and down. “Why must you taunt me so?”

“I hold no responsibility for this madness!” Loki protested, though the sparkle in his eyes told Theo that Loki knew he wasn’t going to convince them otherwise. “God of mischief I may be, but I’m hardly the only capable sorcerer on this team.”

“Well Theo’s been too busy downing some Asgardian ale,” Bucky commented, “And Wanda… Wait a minute. Wanda?”

They all turned to look at Wanda, who gave a deer-in-the-headlights expression as she pretended to be horrified. “The fact that you could imagine me doing this is mildly offensive,” she exclaimed, silently glaring at Loki. “Besides, Strange can cast spells too.”

Everyone looked over at Dr. Strange; one unamused eyebrow raise was enough to dispel any thoughts that he’d been the one behind it.

“Let’s be real – Reindeer games would be the one to make that joke.” Tony pointed out, “Which… well played, I’ve gotta say. Not much makes me spit out my drink like that.”

Loki smirked, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “You need to raise your standards, Stark.”

Steve, who was still mostly sober and desperate for a change of topic, looked back at Theo and noticed her nearly empty mug. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about finishing the ale.”

In turn, Theo downed the remaining ale and placed the mug on the table. “Yeah – It was good. But I’ve gotta say, for all the talk about how it will get me drunk, I still feel pretty sober. Are you sure you weren’t messing with me? This isn’t some fraternity-style hazing thing to bring a new team member on board?”

“No, my lady,” Thor confirmed, “That was genuine Asgardian ale. I must say, I’m impressed.”

Theo cast a glance over to Loki before sending a text. “You didn’t mess with this, did you?”

“I would never deny someone the opportunity to get drunk.” Loki looked dead serious as he sent the message, so she took his word for it.

“Well shit,” Bucky replied, his words slurring ever-so-slightly from his own alcohol consumption. “How about double or nothing – we each drink a mug of ale, and whoever is more sober at the end of the night gets $40.”

Steve tried to cut in. “Bucky, no –“

Bucky, yes.

“Deal.” Theo shook his hand again, confident that she was about to become $40 richer. Not only was Bucky already more drunk than her, but the Asgardian ale would only exacerbate the difference in their sobriety levels.

He probably wouldn’t end up with alcohol poisoning, so it’d be fine. Maybe a hangover, but not alcohol poisoning.

“Now here’s the thing -” Bucky began, “- Before your mug can be refilled, you have to do the Asgardian call for another drink.”

“Which is…?” Theo arched a wary eyebrow, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

With perfect timing, Thor finished his beverage and demonstrated by throwing his mug down on the ground, shouting “ANOTHER!” as the glass smashed against the concrete and shattered into a million pieces.

Theo gasped and nearly flew out of her seat from the noise, heart pounding in her chest. She looked at the glistening fragments of glass, then up at Thor, then back down at the glass.

Thor failed to stifle his laughter as Loki rolled his eyes in the background; with a flick of his wrist, the shards of glass vanished in a flash of emerald light.

“Yeah that’s going to be a hard pass from me, dude.” Theo shook her head, stood up and walked over to the bar to refill mug. While she was behind the bar, she also pulled out a fresh mug for Bucky.

“Oh no, you don’t get to pour – we need someone neutral to do it, so we know it hasn’t been messed with!” Bucky called out, shaking his head at her as he moved to join her at the bar.

“Well I can certainly be the judge of that.” Loki volunteered, his voice a cool contrast to the rambunctious shouting and cheering that echoed from the rooftop.

“You’re really letting loose tonight,” Loki’s message appeared on Theo’s phone. “It’s nice to see you relax a bit.” Theo blushed and cracked a sheepish smile.

Loki strolled behind the bar, took both mugs and filled them up. Once satisfied that each mug contained the same amount of ale, he handed one mug to Bucky and the other to Theo. He then filled a mug of his own before returning to the rest of the group.

“As the judge, I reserve all right to document any embarrassing moments for blackmail in the future.” Loki told everyone quite seriously. Shuri cracked up and added that if Loki didn’t capture the evidence, she certainly would, and with how the Princess of Wakanda held her phone at the ready, Theo fully believed her.. Theo returned to her seat, noticing Shuri had saved her place; Bucky trailed close behind.

“You say that like I’m going to do something embarrassing.” Theo teased, holding her mug up to Bucky and Loki as if to suggest a toast. “To Bucky making one of the dumbest bets he’ll ever make.”

“To the new girl finally gracing us with her presence,” Bucky replied with a wide grin, “and not realizing she’s about to lose the bet!”

The rest of the group held up their glasses and clinked them together, after which Bucky managed to drain about a quarter of his mug in one swift drink.

“I didn’t realize this was a chugging contest.” Bruce commented with a nervous laugh as Bucky set his mug down.

Theo, recognizing that rapid alcohol consumption would not help Bucky in the bet, snickered. “You can’t enjoy it if you chug it, you know that right?”

Bucky offered a coy grin in response, his cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol in his veins.

He really had no idea what he was in for.

And I feel alright (Feel alright) Yeah I feel alright, Alright… I let go This is something spiritual When I say so Give me life, give me love Leveled up on a higher dose No sorrow (baby this is chemical) Hit just like an antidote (can’t come down, down) Adios (give me, yeah give me) Give me life, give me love Leveled up on a higher dose

This was certainly a different side to Theo than Loki had ever seen.

Her guard wasn’t up in the same way it was at Stark’s party, nor was she silent and reserved, as if it were a mission briefing or meeting. The relaxed, easygoing demeanor that Loki eventually uncovered after multiple interactions made its debut amongst the others, and for the first time since the infamous briefing, it seemed like Theo wasn’t afraid to be the center of attention.

In truth, Theo’s decision to join in the evening’s activities surprised Loki. Though Theo agreed to stop declining the invitations from Maximoff, Loki had expected that this would not be the occasion which Theo relented, as the large group could be rather intimidating. Instead, he anticipated that Theo would wait until she could verify that it would be a small gathering with ample opportunities to depart, should she grow uncomfortable.

Instead, the sight of Theo trailing behind Maximoff as they crossed the rooftop brought the first of many pleasant surprises in the evening. If the expression Theo wore when Thor addressed her provided any indication, Theo had not anticipated such a robust gathering, and for a moment Loki feared she might teleport away from the immense attention suddenly focused on her.

Luckily, that had not been the case. From time to time, Loki caught Theo glancing towards him with a silent question in her eyes, usually as if trying to assess the situation, but as the evening wore on the questioning glances decreased, replaced by smirks and thinly veiled attempts to refrain from laughing at the others.

Perhaps the greatest surprise in the evening came when Theo agreed to not only try some Asgardian ale, but challenge Barnes to what one might consider a drinking contest with the aforementioned ale. Given Barnes held two significant advantages - his substantially larger size and the physiological changes from the super-soldier serum - the odds seemed stacked against the sorceress. If anything, Loki suspected that hubris fueled Theo’s decision.

However, he was far too curious about the outcome to consider intervening unless things turned sour, and up to that point he saw no cause for concern. Theo seemed fine, continuing to engage in conversation while working through her beverage. Occasionally, Loki caught himself staring at Theo’s petite hands, her dainty fingers wrapped around the massive mug of ale. If he could be honest with himself, The juxtaposition was rather adorable.

Barnes, unsurprisingly, was the first to finish his ale. Theo, however, was not far behind.

“I have a proposition.” Banner spoke up, looking between the empty mugs with a twinkle in his eye. “I think we should give these two a field sobriety test and see who is more sober… For science, of course.”

Loki, unfamiliar with the test Banner mentioned, hesitated. “And what exactly does a Midgardian sobriety test entail?”

“Oh, it’s easy.” Theo assured him, standing up and stretching both arms overhead. “You just answer some questions and do some basic tasks, like walking in a straight line and balancing on one foot for a while.”

Loki studied Theo with some doubt; when she didn’t notice, he messaged her. “Are you certain it will be so simple?”

Theo typed and sent her reply without even looking at her mobile’s screen. “Bucky’s about to get destroyed.”

Barnes swayed the moment he stood up, nearly tripping over his own feet as he made his way towards the area where they set up the test. He hadn’t even walked half of the line marked out before it became clear as crystal that Barnes was utterly toasted.

Theo, meanwhile, seemed only lightly buzzed. She easily completed the straight line test… while walking on her hands.

“A woman after my own heart,” Romanoff laughed, clapping as Theo finished the test. “It’s not often we have team members who are able to move like that.”

“Girl, you’ve gotta teach me how to do that,” Shuri exclaimed, “That’s dope as hell!”

Theo gracefully returned to her feet, pausing for just a moment to adjust her clothes before she feigned a curtsy and smirked at Barnes, who simply groaned from where he sat.

From what little Loki knew of Theo’s background, the ability to walk on her hands came as no surprise - she had formal training in acrobatic maneuvers, and her goaltending demonstration highlighted her agility. Yet, she did not seem like the sort who would walk on her hands for fun… Though from what he had seen, she certainly was the sort of person who would do so to prove a point. Quite frankly, It was the kind of thing that Loki might do if he were in her position.

All things considered, it seemed like Theo might share Loki’s penchant for mischief and trickery.

“Normally gods are the only ones who don't get knocked on their ass by Asgardian ale.” Stark commented, brow furrowed and eyes narrow as he studied Theo.

“Asgard isn’t the only place with abnormally strong liquor,” Theo casually explained, shaking out her shoulders and stretching her neck. “There really are some places with nothing better to do than drown your sorrows!”

Loki couldn’t help but laugh at her comment, though the choice of words piqued his curiosity. Of course there was the realm she refused to speak of, yet it sounded as if Theo referred to more than one location. Had she visited other realms as well?

Surely, she was exaggerating.

“You’re talking about Michigan, right?” Stark teased.

“No, I’m talking about spending time with you.” Theo deadpanned, winning a lively round of jeers and laughter of the group.

Not done showing off, Theo proceeded to balance on one foot for five minutes while casually discussing the merits of different types of alcohol that she’d encountered and how the Midgardian body metabolized alcohol, far longer than the 30 seconds that were required for a field sobriety test (at least, according to Doctor Banner). Gesturing vivaciously as she spoke, Theo’s eyes lit up with amusement as the others laughed along with her commentary.

As someone who was an expert at embellishing stories, Loki could tell when Theo added flourishes or exaggerated details. However, any talented storyteller understood that the best tales required a bit of panache, and Theo was no exception. While the others may not have noticed, to Loki, it was painfully obvious that Theo knew she was putting on a show.

“Okay, I think at this point there’s a pretty clear winner.” Rhodes snickered as Barnes laid down on a sofa, complaining about the way the world spun..

Theo happily took the $40 that Barnes previously threw down on the table, smirking as she dramatically tucked it into her wallet.

“Is anyone hungry? I could go for some pizza right about now.” Maximoff asked, looking around at the others.

“FRI, you heard the lady!” Stark lifted his head as he spoke up to no one in particular. “Well… I was actually thinking we could go out for pizza?” Maximoff suggested, shrugging her shoulders as she pointed behind herself towards the elevator.

Frankly, after such lively conversation and company, Loki was nowhere near ready to turn in for the night… Even if “going out” was not his preferred activity, perhaps it was worth accompanying the others on their venture.

“As much as I’d love to, I should probably make sure Bucky gets to bed in one piece.” Rogers replied, his point amplified by Barnes’ unintelligible grumbles.

“Yeah, it’s getting late –” Banner glanced at his watch before he stood up. “I’m ready to call it a night.”

“I’d join you.” Loki nodded at Maximoff, lightly shrugging his shoulders.

“Pizza sounds like fun.” Belova pushed herself up from her seat. “I’d go.”

“I’m down!” Shuri added, stretching as she rose to her feed.

Theo had yet to respond, eyes darting between the others as they responded. She didn’t seem tired, but experience indicated she would not opt-in unless clearly invited to attend

“The night is young – why not enjoy some excellent company for a little longer?” Turning to Theo, Loki offered a wry smile as he offered a hand to help her up. “Would you care to join? I suspect Maximoff would even let you select the pizza place…” He shot a knowing glance to Maximoff, who grinned and nodded.

“Sure, I suppose I can come along.” Theo perked up, mirroring Loki’s smile as she accepted the gesture, and allowed Loki to pull her to her feet. “I’m not sure what my options are for pizza around here, so I would defer to someone else to choose.”

Loki felt a bit of heat creep up on his cheeks - he ought to have remembered that Theo only recently became a resident of Midtown, so her knowledge of local eateries would be limited at best.

“Oh, there’s lots of great options nearby!” Parker exclaimed, bouncing up from his seat. “My favorite is–”

“She didn’t tell you to pick a place,” Shuri held a hand out to stop him as she smirked.

Parker replied with a pout, crossing his arms to make a point.

“If you tell me what place you want to go to, I’ll suggest it,” Theo winked at the spiderling.

“That’s not how this works!” Shuri protested, turning to Theo and covering her heart with mock offense.

“Okay, okay,” Theo held up her hands, laughing as she shook her head. “Wanda, pick a place since you wanted pizza and I have no idea what’s good around here.”

“I can do that - Vis, you coming?” Maximoff beamed at Vision, reaching for his hand.

“I shall accompany you.”

And off they went, in search of pizza.

Mic check - say hi to LoLo Goodbye to normal Welcome to your mad world Where you can forget About your boredom From this day forward Well I will give you love on every level

If anyone had asked Theo that morning how she expected her evening to go, drinking a supersoldier under the table and then going out for pizza at one in the morning with some of the Avengers would not have come to mind. Yet, in another edition of “my life is stranger than fiction,” that was exactly how Theo’s night played out.

The pizza place Wanda recommended was fairly close to Avengers tower - down an alleyway and through a side door, the restaurant sat tucked in the basement of a bar that Theo recognized because she played a couple shows there a while ago..

When they first walked in, the atmosphere practically screamed “hole in the wall.” The lights were kept low - low enough that it was easy to hide the dirt permanently coated on the floors. The smell of cheese and cheap beer lingered in the air. Even at the late hour, the place was packed. Perhaps the low light was to their advantage - no one seemed to notice the group of superheroes as they made their entrance, which was a relief. It took Theo back to the midnight hours in Durham. Her friends drunkenly crowded into booths for food after spending the night getting guys to buy out the bar for them. Theo had to play along in those days in order to hide her magic and its effects on her body - however, the lack of drunkenness meant she was still able to recall the exact way the place felt. And this… this felt all too familiar.

When they found an empty booth, they wasted no time claiming it as their own, even if it meant they had to squish together so everyone fit. With the way they packed themselves together, Theo couldn’t help but notice Loki’s body against hers, steady and firm without encroaching on her personal space. Loki may have been her first friend among the Avengers, but that didn’t mean they were ever quite so close. From Theo’s observations, Loki seemed like he avoided physical contact whenever possible, recoiling from Thor’s touch and carefully distancing himself when anyone else drew near. Really, Theo couldn’t remember ever having made any physical contact with him that wasn’t an accidental brush of the hands when they handed items to each other.

Despite feeling a bit thrown off by the touch, she wasn’t uncomfortable… If anything, it was actually kind of nice.

Not that she was going to say anything, because that would absolutely make it weird.

The effortless, lighthearted conversation that started on the rooftop continued the moment they sat down, even as everyone made quick work of the first round of drinks and the pizza, continuing to the extent that it wasn’t long before they ordered another round of drinks.

After the waitress delivered the second round of drinks, Wanda swallowed the bite of pizza she had been chewing, then spoke up.

“Thank you.” Wanda paused, considering her words. “For coming out tonight, that is. This has been fun.” She beamed at Theo. “I’m glad you have a sense of humor. The pigeon was well played.”

Theo blushed, biting back a smile. “Thanks for letting me in on the fun… though I have to say, I think Loki took the trophy home for best prank of the night.”

This time Loki didn’t try to deny it, grinning with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “It is important to remind my brother to stay humble… ‘Tis best to not allow his ego to overtake him. Do you agree?”

Theo let out a laugh, just barely tinged with melancholy as she thought about her sister. “That is part of a sibling’s job description, isn’t it?”

“Am I remembering correctly that you have a sister?” Vision asked Theo. “I recall mention of a sibling in your file, though you’ve not spoken much on the matter.”

Theo flinched, though the motion was barely perceptible. Loki’s eyes flickered over at her - he must have still noticed.

“I do… but she’s presumed dead, like my parents. We got separated when we ended up in the other realm” Theo shrugged as nonchalantly as she could manage, but the way the expressions in the group softened told her that they picked up on her discomfort around the topic. “My Mémère – err, my Grandma – raised me after that, and she raised my younger cousin, Max; he’s practically my younger brother.”

“There’s no reason to be nervous; family is a complicated subject for pretty much everyone on the team.” Wanda assured her.

Theo flashed a thin, yet grateful smile. “Yeah, I gathered that was practically a prerequisite for joining the Avengers.”

Loki snorted at her comment.

Wanda took the opportunity to change the topic, launching into the recap of the last band that she saw in this particular place. Apparently this was one of her favorite spots to go when she wanted to blend in and have some fun, especially since the poor lighting made it hard to be recognized.

As Wanda spoke, Theo noticed a young couple making out next to a jukebox and couldn’t help but smile at the sight – they may have assumed that the poor lighting obscured them from view, but their affection was sweet. Another wave of nostalgia from her days in Durham washed over Theo.

It occurred to her that everyone in the booth had lived vastly different lives from her own: a literal princess sat next to a kid who grew up in Queens; an orphan sat next to an android, who sat across from a frost giant/literal god, and on Theo’s opposite side was someone who trained to be a spy since before she could walk. However, Theo didn’t feel like a fish out of water. On the contrary, she actually felt like she belonged there, sitting in this cramped booth with six other people who knew what it was like to be different. And the best part was, she didn’t even have to hide what made her unique.

Her heart warmed at the thought.

By the time they finally left the pizza place, it was nearing three in the morning – the sun would rise in a few hours, however Theo was still wide awake. Wanda must have sensed that Theo was still ready for an adventure because she paused outside, looking in the direction opposite the tower.

“So where are we going now?” Theo inquired, looking between the others.

“Given you have a high alcohol tolerance, I think we should do some bar hopping,” Wanda offered, “This is New York, after all, the city that never sleeps. We might as well make it a proper night out!”

“The princess is out of her tower and there are some fine establishments nearby.” Loki added, a smug expression curling over his lips as he crossed his arms. Shuri cracked up, entirely aware that Loki was referring to Theo and not to her.

“I don’t know why you’re calling me a princess when we have a literal princess with us.” Theo offered a playful scoff in response to his joke, pointing at Shuri.

“The literal princess had a great time, but she’s gotta go back to Oakland tomorrow.” Shuri smirked and took a bow. “So I’ve gotta call it a night.”

“Yeah, I have a biology exam I need to study for tomorrow, so I should get some sleep.” Peter agreed.

“I head out for a mission bright and early,” Yelena sighed, “So I should probably go too.”

“They may be ditching us, but I’m down to go check out the bars,” Theo offered. “But I hope you don’t make the same mistake Bucky did - that might not go as well, since you aren’t a super soldier.”

Wanda laughed freely, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Oh no, I’m not about to try and match you drink for drink. Consider this our way of giving you a tour of the neighborhood!”

Vision, of course, was also fine with bar hopping; as long as Wanda was there it seemed like he would be happy.

After bidding goodnight to Shuri, Peter, and Yelena, the remaining four Avengers departed for the first bar. The cover of night provided protection from the stares that Theo expected to get walking down the street, though it was likely helped by the decrease in people out and about at the odd hour.

The quartet moved between local bars seamlessly. The sight of the Avengers didn’t draw the looks Theo would have expected most celebrities to draw - the other three, apparently, were regulars. They chatted with other customers and joked around with the bartenders, always making a point to casually slip an introduction to Theo in the mix without making it awkward. More often than not, the other customers would buy a round of drinks for the group as a way of welcoming Theo to the team, and before Theo could respond either Loki or Wanda would accept on her behalf.

If Theo didn’t know better, Loki and Wanda were on a mission to see just how much alcohol it took to get Theo drunk; frankly, as long as Theo wasn’t the one footing the bill, she didn’t mind the opportunity to loosen up a bit.

As the sun crept over the horizon, Theo felt the warm buzz that came with mild inebriation, having consumed enough alcohol to finally overcome her obnoxious tolerance.

Loki had a slight flush to his cheeks and a hint of glassiness in his eyes – there was no way that he could become intoxicated from what a human would drink alone, but between the Asgardian ale he consumed earlier and the other drinks, he seemed more relaxed than usual. Up until that point, Theo noticed that even when relaxed, Loki always had this air of being immensely composed, but that night it seemed like he let some of that properness fall away and let his guard drop ever-so-slightly.

In contrast, Wanda was comfortably drunk, allowing herself to hiccup and giggle freely while slurring some of her words. Not messy drunk by any means, thanks to Loki and Vision switching out some of her drinks for Shirley Temples when Wanda wasn’t looking (given how easily they managed the feat, Theo guessed it wasn’t the first time they had swapped her drinks so she didn’t get sick).

Vision was the only one who was sober, but that had to be a normal occurrence… Not shockingly, it was impossible for an artificial intelligence system to process alcohol. Theo found it odd to watch Vision eat and drink like a normal person, since he didn’t actually digest food and that he didn’t even need to eat to function. The sight was even more jarring when he camouflaged himself to appear like a person and not an android, which he did anytime he ventured into public.

Still, it wasn’t the weirdest thing Theo had ever seen…

With the sun peeking over the horizon, bringing with it the impending arrival of the morning, the group agreed it was time to return to the tower. While there was nothing on their agenda for the day that they had to prepare for, by that time everyone had been awake long enough that they were more than ready for bed. Vision and Wanda led the way, Vision wrapping his arm around Wanda to help her stay steady as she giggled and cooed endlessly at him, utterly lovestruck each time she looked at her partner.

Behind them, Loki and Theo strolled beside each other in comfortable silence. As they moved, Theo discreetly observed Loki. His normally upright, regal posture had softened. His eyes gazed out into the distance, though it didn’t seem like they had a fixed point of interest. He kept his hands in his pockets, and his expression reserved - just the slightest hint of knitted brows adorned his expression.

The man beside her was different from the Loki that Theo first met, or the Loki she saw earlier in the evening – the sharp, charismatic, and sarcastic prince was replaced by a much quieter, introspective man. Even with the faint warmth of the alcohol in Theo’s system, she could sense storms swirling in his mind that were locked away from public view. She couldn’t help but wonder how often he allowed that side of him to show.

When they arrived at the tower and made their way up to the residential floors, Theo couldn’t help but notice the way that Loki held the elevator door for her, and how he placed his hand on the small of her back as she passed by. It must have been the way that Loki was raised that made him do those things - as a prince, he must have been taught these types of gestures as a part of proper etiquette - but the feeling of his touch lingered long after his hand left her back.

No one else was around, which meant that it was either too early for the others to be up, or those who were already awake were off doing something else. Those moments of stillness were rare in the tower, and after a long but fun night out, Theo was grateful for the peace and quiet. Up ahead, Wanda giggled and squealed as Vision patiently coaxed her towards their suite. It didn’t take long for them to disappear behind the door, leaving Loki and Theo to themselves. The pair’s comfortable silence continued as they made their way down the hall, pausing outside the door to Theo’s suite.

“This was a lot of fun,” Theo commented to Loki, a shy smile on her lips as she took hold of the door handle, but refrained from opening the door.

“Indeed,” he nodded, sticking his hands back in his pockets and shifting his weight back onto his heels as he gave her a nervous smile. “I’m glad you’ve come out of your shell a bit more – it is nice to spend time with you.”

They both stood there, biting back smiles as they looked into each other’s eyes. In the peace of the tower and the sun rising, there was almost a special sort of peace that fell between them - a moment frozen in time.

Eventually though, that moment had to end.

Theo cleared her throat, a rising heat now present on her cheeks. “Well, I should probably…” Theo trailed off, gesturing that she was going to head inside. “Uh, good night Loki.”

“Right,” Loki blushed, looking away as he dipped his head. “Good night Theo.”

Theo found herself reflecting on the night as she got ready for bed. Yes, Loki, the little bastard was right - the Avengers, for all their initial assumptions and hesitations, genuinely did want to be her friend.

And despite every reason why Theo shouldn’t want to, at the end of the day… She wanted to be their friend too.

I let go (I let go) This is something spiritual (something spiritual) A vibrant soul (a vibrant soul) Give me life, give me love Got me hooked on a higher dose No sorrow (baby this is chemical) Hit just like an antidote (can’t come down, down) Adios (give me, yeah give me) Give me life, give me love Leveled up on a higher dose

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ohillnevertell · 1 year ago

Text

A Christmas Confession

Here you go, @palomahasenteredthechat- I give you my 12 Days of Joemas 2023 ficathon submission.

Warnings: None really, fluff with some angst, after all, nothing is ever perfect, some talk about casual sex, but nothing graphic.

Used a couple of the prompts, I'm sure you will spot them!

Enjoy!

She slipped out of bed as quietly as possible, careful not to wake him. As soon as she was out and on her feet, she turned back to see if she had succeeded, and she had - he was still sound asleep. It never ceased to amaze her how different he looked when sleeping; his handsome face was devoid of any stress and completely relaxed, making him appear far younger than his twenty-nine years.

She tip-toed to the bathroom, softly closing the door behind her. She pulled her long dark hair into a messy bun, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. She began collecting the various toiletries spread about the counter and placing them into their respective bag for travel, all the while thinking about how quickly time had flown by on this trip. It went by so fast, far too fast.

She gathered the remaining items and opened the door to find him standing there, clad only in his boxers. His presence startled her, making her jump and causing the items she held in her arms to fall to the floor.

"Holy shit," she exclaimed as she bent down to pick up the bags and bottles that were now scattered about the floor. "You scared the crap out of me; how are you so quiet? Are you a ninja in your off time?"

He chuckled and knelt to help her pick up her things. "Good morning to you too, love."

"I'm sorry, good morning. I didn't expect you to be there when I opened the door; you were out like a light when I went into the bathroom." She leaned forward and quickly kissed him before crossing the room and dropping the toiletries into an open suitcase sitting on the loveseat.

He crawled back onto the bed and lay on his side, his head propped up with a few pillows. He studied her as she folded items of clothing and placed them in the bag.

"I can't believe you're leaving me and returning to the States already; it feels like you just got here."

"Yeah, tell me about it," she replied, her voice tinged with sadness. "In retrospect, I should have planned things differently and taken more time off, but how could I have known what would happen?"

She felt heat rise in her cheeks as she glanced at him, lying there and staring at her, a big grin on his face, showing off the dimple in his left cheek that never failed to make her swoon.

He got up from the bed and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. She felt so happy in his arms; he made her feel safe and comfortable. Just one of a million things about him she would miss when she left.

"And what happened, exactly?" He smiled broadly, with teeth, and gave her a wink.

"Don't be a smart ass," she said, playfully slapping his butt. "You. You happened. Of all the pubs in this city, you just had to walk into that one. You have a lot of nerve doing that, by the way."

"Oh, I have nerve?" He feigned shock, raising his eyebrows, and placed his hand on his chest. "I'm a regular there, so I think you're the one who had the nerve to be there in my pub. How dare you?"

She couldn't help but laugh. He was right; she later learned it was one of his favorites, and she could see why. It was cozy and very low-key, with no one staring and whispering or asking for photos; it was clear that he felt comfortable and just like everyone else within those walls.

Their fated meeting had happened over a week ago, shortly after she arrived in London, and they'd been inseparable ever since. They just gelled immediately, and there was no awkwardness; they just fell into whatever it was they were doing quite naturally. It felt like they'd always been part of one another's lives.

She'd refused to sleep with him right away and made him wait until after they'd been on a couple of dates; she was a lot of things, but a casual star fucker was not one of them. She'd been around the business most of her life and ran in celebrity circles, so his status meant nothing to her. She also found the actors she knew that had blown up overnight at a young age to be utterly obnoxious, and she was worried he would be the same. Thankfully, he was nothing like them, which came as a surprise to her. He was intelligent, cultured, kind, well-mannered, and cared about his work. He loved the craft, not the fame; it was rare and refreshing to encounter.

He'd made her time in London so enjoyable and very memorable. Christmas was just around the corner, and everything in the city was decorated beautifully, giving it a magical feel; it was lovely. Being there during the holidays and spending time with him felt unreal. It had been far too perfect, and she felt like pinching herself daily to ensure it wasn't a dream.

Last night, he'd asked her to extend her trip, to stay on through New Year's, but she couldn't, even though she desperately wanted to. She had to come down from the high and return to real life. It would be tough, so she felt it better to rip the bandaid off now rather than later and run the risk of becoming more invested.

"Are you sure you can't stay?" His voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she looked at him, his stare burning straight into her soul.

She shook her head and reached up to touch his face, feeling the prickliness of his short beard beneath her fingers." I wish more than anything that I could. I would love to spend Christmas with you, but I just can't."

"Call your work and tell them you can't leave the country because you're trapped under something heavy, the something heavy being me." He held her even more tightly and grinned, cheeky and adorable and clearly amused by his silly joke.

She laughed and pushed him away. "Please don't quit your day job and attempt stand-up comedy; it's not your thing. You're talented as hell and capable of many things, but not that. Never that. And just a side note: you're not that heavy."

He let out his loud and funny laugh she loved and pulled her back to him, kissing her. She loved kissing him. She felt like a teenager, wanting to make out with him every chance she got; his kisses were perfection.

She wanted to stay in the moment forever, but she couldn't. She broke away and took his face into her hands. "Fuck it, I'm just going to say it; I'm really going to miss you. This trip was a dream, and so are you. I want you to know that you are extraordinary in every way, and don't you dare ever think otherwise."

She ran her hands down his neck to his chest and looked down, briefly leaning her head into him before placing a feather-light kiss on his lips. She willed herself not to cry; she had always known this beautiful experience would end, but she never imagined how much it would hurt when it did.

He touched her face, studying it while softly running his thumb over her lips. "You know this isn't the end of our story, right?"

"Sure, I know. Like you said, we will figure it out," she said softly, attempting to sound as confident as possible. As much as she wanted to believe him, she still worried that this really was the end and mentally prepared herself to carry on as if it were.

She gave him the best smile she could muster, hoping he wouldn't catch on to her true feelings, and shifted her focus back to packing. "Now, I better pick up the pace. I have a plane to catch."

______________________________________________________________

"He lives!" His oldest and closest friend exclaimed as he approached the bar. He had been dreading this get-together, and that greeting confirmed his fears. He'd prepared himself for the shit his friend would undoubtedly be giving him about the time he'd spent with her.

He removed his coat, hanging it on a hook by the bar, then sat on a barstool next to his friend. He turned to him, looking him dead in the eye, unamused. "Fuck off."

"Oh, come on, lighten up! You're the one who went MIA after you met her," his friend replied, waving over the bartender to order another pint. "You didn't answer texts or calls; for all we knew, you were dead. It's not like you to go completely silent."

The bartender set down a pint before him, and he quickly grabbed it, taking a nice long gulp before answering. "I was busy."

"Yeah, I bet you were," his friend snorted, hitting him in the arm. "That's it? You're not going to elaborate on what you've been doing, aside from the obvious, for the past week and a half?"

He sighed, exasperated; there was no getting out of the interrogation. He vowed not to share every detail and only give him minimal information about how he'd been spending his time.

"Fine," he began slowly, mentally parsing out what he felt comfortable sharing, which wasn't much. It was an odd feeling; he usually didn't mind talking to his friends about his conquests, but he felt differently about his time with her for some reason. He felt the need to protect what they had, whatever it was.

"Well, you met her that night, so you know how lovely she is," he said, and he couldn't help but smile. "I'd offered to show her around the city the next day, which she accepted, and then we had a proper date that evening."

His friend was hanging on every word, grinning. "Then you shagged her and spent the rest of the time holed up in her hotel."

"Nope, you couldn't be more wrong," he replied, staring at his half-empty glass. He was downing it faster than he thought. "She told me the night we met she wasn't going to have sex with me; casual hookups were not her thing. She said she didn't care who I was; it wouldn't happen, and I was free to walk away."

The expression on his friend's face was a combination of shock and amusement. "Oh, that's fantastic! Romeo was shot down in under 24 hours. I like this woman already."

He rolled his eyes and continued. "I respected her feelings but didn't want to walk away. The next few days were very much the same, more showing her around London and whatnot. Everything was so nice and normal, and we had a wonderful time. After dinner, that's when things changed. She asked me to stay with her, not go home, so I did and never left. Well, not until she did, anyway."

"Well, shit, she certainly had a change of heart," his friend said, winking at him. "I should have known she would; the women can never resist you and your charm. They all end up caving, the only variable being how long it takes for them to fold."

His tone was moderately sarcastic, maybe tinged with a hint of jealousy. His friends loved giving him shit, and usually, he took it in stride, but in this moment, he was mildly annoyed by the behavior.

"But she kept you in a holding pattern," his friend continued, holding his index finger in the air as if to punctuate his statement. "Which no one in the past year and a half has ever done that I'm aware of. Impressive. Even more impressive is that you waited it out. I couldn't have predicted that, either."

He felt somewhat ashamed when those words hit him. Was this how everyone saw him, as some fuckboy whose charms were so irresistible that women simply fell into bed with him with something as simple as a glance? And if they didn't, he just moved on to his next conquest?

His stomach began to churn when he thought about how he'd spent his time since his newfound fame changed his life tremendously. Just an endless stream of faceless women and one-night stands, no attachments, just having fun. He'd never been the one in his friend group who garnered all the female attention. He was funny and goofy; nerdy cute was how they would refer to him, and the last one standing after everyone had paired off. Last pick of the group every time.

Now, the attention was constant. He'd taken advantage of it, as any man his age would, but he was now wondering if he wanted to continue. It had become somewhat dull, and he realized they were all the same; they wanted to be able to say they'd fucked someone famous. Sure, he got sex out of the deal, but at what cost?

"Hey," his friend said, snapping his fingers before his face. "What's wrong? You're not actually hung up on this woman, are you?"

He turned to face his friend, whose amusement had turned into disbelief at the mere thought of this being the case. "I liked being with her; she just got me, you know? I asked her to stay on through the New Year, and she said no."

"I like her even more," his friend said, his voice low, fingers tapping on the bar. "Not because she turned you down not once but twice, but because your fame does not affect her. It sounds like she sees you as we all see you, just a regular bloke, the same guy you've always been, and not the updated and made-over Hollywood version."

He shrugged and took a deep breath. "She doesn't care about the fame because she comes from the business. She knows how the industry is and how everything works. Hell, she probably knows more about it than I do."

"There it is," his friend said, slapping him on the shoulder. "She might be exactly what you need. Someone who understands what that world is like and how crazy your life has become. She can ground you, help keep you sane."

There was a deafening silence between them despite the chatter and noise that filled the pub. The day before, after she'd left, he'd spent the day wandering the city, trying to clear his head and not think about her, but he couldn't. He was reminded of her at nearly every turn. The restaurant they'd dined at on their first date, the hidden alcove by the bridge where he'd kissed her for the first time, and the Christmas market in Trafalgar Square, where he'd helped her pick out ornaments to take home were just a few of many. She was everywhere.

He shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "Yeah, maybe, I don't know."

"Well, you need to either do something about it or forget her and get back in the game, mate," his friend replied, finishing his pint and setting the empty glass on the bar. "What's your plan for the holiday?"

"I think I'm going to take a solo trip, but I don't know where. I need to get out of here for a few days, of that I'm certain," he said flatly, finishing his drink before standing up and grabbing his coat from the nearby hook.

"Thanks for the pint; I'll get you next time around. I'll catch up with you later - Happy Christmas, mate."

Without saying another word and leaving his friend speechless, he quickly exited the pub and walked out into the brisk evening air. He made his way towards the tube station to catch the train that would take him home, his head down, hands shoved deeply into his coat pockets. He weaved through the crowds that packed the sidewalks, everyone talking and laughing, carrying packages and gifts, all so joyful and in the season's merriment. He saw happy couples walking hand in hand, smiles lighting up their faces, with not a care in the world. That should be us, he thought to himself.

He quickly pushed the thought away; he'd had enough. He needed to do something to get him out of his fucked up headspace. A distraction. He quickly ducked into a pub, found an open seat at the bar, and ordered a double shot of tequila. He took out his phone, opened the dating app, and began swiping through his matches.

______________________________________________________________

She knew she had no right to be upset; he owed her nothing, but she couldn't help how she was feeling.

She'd spoken to him once she'd arrived home, and everything seemed fine. He'd told her again that they would find a way to see one another; he needed to confirm his schedule first, and then he could make a plan. He was sweet and lovely, and she had no reason not to believe what he was telling her. She did her best to have zero expectations, but it was challenging.

It was Christmas Eve. She'd texted him to wish him a Merry Christmas, but no response. Fucking crickets. Damn him, she should have known better. She was more angry with herself than him, kicking herself for letting her walls down and trusting him.

She curled up on the sofa and snuggled under a soft blanket, reaching for her cup of hot chocolate on the end table. She took a small sip and watched the flames dance in the fireplace. She felt her eyes well up with tears; even though she'd tried not to let her emotions get the best of her, they did anyway. She told herself to be grateful for their time together; after all, she'd lived out the fantasy of so many women, she was the "lucky one." She should be content knowing that for a brief moment in time, she had been his, and he had been hers.

She wiped away the tears dripping onto her cheeks, chastising herself for crying. "Such a baby," she murmured to herself. She couldn't help but wonder how things would have played out if she'd stayed with him for the holidays; she was pretty sure she would have been a lot happier than she was right now.

She heard the Ring doorbell chime, alerting her that someone was at the door, and then the bell itself rang. She wasn't expecting anyone but figured it was probably an Amazon delivery; those people never took a day off.

She tossed the blanket off and went to the door, curious to see what had been delivered, especially since she couldn't recall placing any recent orders. She hoped that if it was a delivery, the person had dropped it and left because she was in her flannel pajamas, her hair in a ponytail, and no makeup; after all, she had no one to impress. She didn't bother to look through the peephole; she just flung the door open.

She gasped when she saw that it was not an Amazon delivery. He was right in front of her, standing on her doorstep. He looked a little disheveled, his curls messy and wild, and a bit tired, with a crooked smile on his face. That fucking dimple.

"Oh my God," she exclaimed in disbelief. "What in the world are you doing here? How are you even here? How did you get my address?"

"I have my ways," he replied, rubbing one of his eyes with the heel of his palm. "May I come inside and then answer your questions?"

She suddenly felt like a jerk, realizing that rather than sounding excited, her reaction bordered on annoyance. "Yes, of course, I'm sorry. I was not expecting to see you here, and I'm quite stunned."

She opened the door wide and ushered him inside. He gave her a peck on the cheek as he passed her, and she inhaled deeply. Cologne, mint, and cigarettes - it was his scent, and she loved it. And, at present, she hated that she loved it.

She followed him as he walked into the living room, setting down his bag, removing his coat, and tossing it onto the sofa. He behaved as if he'd walked into her home many times, even though this was the first.

"It's so festive in here," he said, admiring the tree. "It feels very cozy."

He looked cute, wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a cashmere sweater layered over it. She preferred this dressed-down look over any of the fancy red carpet looks. Relaxed and casual was just more him.

"Make yourself at home," she said, suddenly feeling self-conscious and nervous by his presence in her home. "Can I get you something to drink?"

He turned to face her, taking her hands and pulling her to him. "In a minute. I must get some things off my chest before I lose my nerve."

Despite his words sounding worrisome, being so close to him again made her heart beat faster. Her mind was suddenly flooded by the memories of their time together in London, and the anger she'd felt earlier began to melt away. At that moment, she just wanted to hold him, kiss him, and transport them back in time.

"I owe you an apology," he began, his voice low but soft. "I'm sorry I disappeared on you; I never should have done that, and it was wrong. So fucking wrong."

She looked up at him; the look in his dark eyes was sincere but simultaneously broken and sad. It hurt her heart to see him that way; he had always been so happy and confident when they were together.

She draped her arms over his shoulders, then ran her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. "Thank you for that; I'd be lying if I didn't say I was hurt and disappointed."

"You have every right to be. I'm surprised you didn't slap me when you saw me at the door; I would have deserved it." He brought his hands to her waist and pulled her closer, their bodies pressed tightly against one another.

"Not my style," she said, giving him a small smile. "But you're right; you would have deserved it. Still do if I'm being honest."

He gently caressed her cheek and held her gaze, his expression growing dark. "When you left, I had some sort of existential crisis. You got under my skin, but I didn't want to admit it. I assumed I could go on with us just getting together when we could, but no strings. I don't know why I ever thought I could do that to you; you deserve better. Not even better, the best, of everything."

Her stomach flipped, unsure of what was happening, fearing that this was the big goodbye, despite him telling her in London that it wasn't the end of their story. She dropped her arms from his shoulders, stepping back and away from him. A sad expression washed over his face.

"I thought I could have my cake and eat it, too. I could keep on as I had been, just hooking up with whoever caught my fancy in the moment and have you there for me when the timing was good for both of us but on my terms. I could have the best of both worlds: freedom and you. I was arrogant, and I'm not proud of it."

He remembered how he'd matched with a woman on the app that night after she left. He'd agreed to meet her at another pub nearby. She'd come on strong and made it clear she was down for some casual sex; she'd been just what he was looking for that night. They'd gone back to her place, but he couldn't go through with it when the time came to get down to business. He'd apologized profusely, but she'd been furious that he'd wasted her time. He got out of there fast, and on the way home, he canceled his account and deleted the app. He was done with it.

She was silent. His words had hit her like a punch in the gut. She had to give him credit for his honesty, but damn what he was saying cut deep. Sure, he wanted to have her in his life, but he'd planned to keep her on hold and in the dark while he still fucked around, only connecting with her when it was convenient for him, with no commitment. She felt sick.

"Please tell me that this story, or rather this confession, of yours is going to take a turn for the better because right now, it's only upsetting me," she said, anger evident in her tone. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at the floor; she didn't even want to look him in the eye.

He stepped towards her, placing his finger under her chin, tipping it upward so she would look at him. "I finally had to admit that you had gotten to me. It happened so fast that I couldn't even process it. You don't care about status. You don't fawn over me or treat me like I'm some untouchable Hollywood golden boy. When I'm with you, I can forget about all the celebrity bullshit and be like everyone else, like I used to be. I feel safe and free when I'm with you."

He looked and sounded sincere, but she still wasn't sure if she could trust what he was saying. Her heart and mind were whirlwinds of mixed emotions, and she had zero control over them.

She walked away from him and returned to the sofa, sitting down and pulling the blanket back over her as if it would shield her from everything being thrown at her. She still didn't know where she stood and felt very uneasy. It made her question everything that had happened with him in London.

"Okay, you came to all these realizations, but now what? Why are you even here? You could have easily called and told me all this; you didn't have to take a 10-plus hour flight on Christmas Eve to do it."

He sat beside her on the sofa, taking one of her hands and holding it. Her first instinct was to pull away, but for some reason, she didn't; she felt frozen in place.

"I came here because I needed to see you and tell you in person," he said, holding her hand tightly, his thumb running back and forth over it as if it would soothe her. "And I wanted to spend Christmas with you. Not my friends, not my family, just you."

"Why me, though? I'm just another in a long line of forgettable women. I'm not special," she replied, on the verge of tears, finally pulling her hand away. "I feel foolish now for thinking, even for a moment, that you had any actual feelings for me. I didn't think you were head over heels for me, but God, I thought you cared about me even just a little bit. I'm such a fucking idiot."

He dropped his head down and was silent for a few moments. He took a deep breath and looked at her with a pained expression. She could see she'd hurt him with what she'd said; it was written all over his face.

"Because you make me feel like a regular human, with no preconceived notions or expectations of me. You saw me for who I am and not some object to be worshipped or used; I never questioned your motives. I knew you didn't have an agenda; you were interested in the goofy guy from South London, not that other version of me the rest of the world sees. And for what it's worth, I care about you more than you even know."

"Well, you have a hell of a way of showing how much you care. You just told me in not so many words that you considered me nothing more than your beck-and-call girl. That's shitty."

He was visibly upset. She wasn't purposefully trying to be hurtful; she was only speaking from a place of pain and anger. This was going down as the worst Christmas in memory.

"I'm beyond sorry that I hurt you! That was never my intention, and I know what I did was wrong. I know I've broken your trust, but please believe me when I say I wanted to be here with you." His voice cracked; he was becoming more upset, his tone almost desperate.

"I want you in my life and for us to give this thing a shot. Please."

His pleading, teary eyes broke her. She hated seeing him this way, and even though everything he'd said had hurt her terribly and made her trust issues go on high alert, she couldn't help but feel he was telling her the truth. She couldn't be cold to him; it wasn't who she was.

"Come here," she whispered, reaching her arms towards him. He scooted closer, and she pulled him to her into a hug. She held him tightly, stroking his hair as he broke down, telling her how sorry he was over and over. "It's okay. I know you're sorry; really, I do. Just relax and breathe; everything is fine."

She'd never seen a grown man in such a state but remembered that he wasn't like most men. He really was a riddle, a puzzle, and a mystery all rolled into one. She couldn't figure him out, no matter how much she tried. She wondered if anxiety had something to do with it, that once the stresses built up to a certain point, the only way to release them was to fall apart.

After a few minutes, he broke away from their embrace and looked at her, defeated. His eyes were red, his cheeks splotchy, but seemingly over the minor meltdown. She could see in his eyes that he was being honest with her and meant everything he'd said. Truthfully, he never had an obligation to tell her anything. After all, they were not in an actual relationship, or at least not one they'd defined in any way, and they were both free to do as they pleased. If anything, they were both in the wrong, him for thinking he could make his plan work and her for having expectations based on a brief amount of time together.

"You know, I shouldn't have had any expectations about how things would play out after I left London," she said quietly. "I'm sorry if you ever felt pressure from me in some way to keep things going after I left."

He reached out to her, touching her cheek, and shook his head. "No, this isn't on you. You did nothing wrong. I got scared and fucked up, and I own all of it."

She reached over and brushed a curl away from his eyes. "We all make mistakes. We wouldn't be human if we didn't."

"You have no idea how intimidated I was by you in the beginning, especially the night we met," he confessed, looking down at his hands, fiddling with one of his rings, seemingly afraid to look right at her.

"I'd watched you for a while that night in the pub. I saw how you interacted with your friends and engaged with those around you, people you didn't even know. Your energy was amazing, so bright, bubbly, and friendly. You were so sure of yourself but not with an air of self-importance, just confidence."

She sat up straight, surprised by what he was saying; he'd never said a word about this when they'd been together. She had no idea he'd felt this way.

"That's why I sent you and your friends a round of drinks," he continued, still not looking at her. "I didn't have the nerve to approach you directly, so I thought the drinks would be a good icebreaker and give me an opening."

She couldn't believe her ears. This man, who always seemed so outgoing and confident, had been intimidated by her? He couldn't be serious, no way.

"Why didn't you tell me this before? I had no idea you'd felt this way."

He shrugged his shoulders and finally looked at her. "I didn't want you to think less of me or think I was weak and not worth your time."

"Baby," she said tenderly. "I never would have thought that about you. I hate that you think I would have felt that way."

He managed a weak smile and went on. "I was so nervous those first few days we were together; I didn't want to fuck up. Here you were, this intelligent, beautiful, successful, and self-sufficient woman who didn't need to rely on anyone for anything, spending time with me? I'm just an actor who never knows where his next job will come from; nothing is guaranteed, even now. I certainly couldn't give you anything you don't already have or could get yourself."

"That's not true at all," she said quietly, tucking a wayward curl behind his ear. "What about your time? Your affection? Your heart?" She paused for a moment before she continued. "Your…love? Those things are priceless, and only you have the power to give them away."

He dropped his head again, and she couldn't see his face, so she couldn't read how he was feeling. "I often feel I'm not quite good enough. Not in my work, not for you, nothing. I always feel like I'm just getting by on luck, and eventually, it will run out."

It was inconceivable to her that these were the thoughts he lived with daily. How could he not see how amazing he was, not just his talent but as a person? Sure, he wasn't perfect, but who was?

"My beautiful boy, you are so wrong. You are more than good enough for everything you mentioned and so much more! I told you before I left that you are extraordinary, and I meant it in many ways. I wish you could see yourself as I see you, as I've always seen you." She grabbed his chin, turned his head to face her, leaned forward, and pressed her lips to his, letting them linger momentarily.

She saw a tear run down his cheek. She would never know or understand why he was so hard on himself; all she could do was support him and assure him that she was there for him. She wiped the tear away with her thumb and kissed each cheek, and he cracked a smile. His smile could light up the world; how he couldn't see that was baffling.

"I need you to be completely honest, though - are you sure you want to try this? Is that what you really want?" She bit her lip nervously as she waited for his answer.

He moved so close to her that he was practically in her lap. He took her face into his hands and stared into her eyes, causing her stomach to flip. She was such a sucker for those Bambi eyes and hated herself for it, especially at this moment.

"It's what I really want. You are what I want. I've never been more sure of anything in my life," he said in a low voice. He punctuated his answer by leaning in and softly kissing her.

Despite the emotional rollercoaster they'd just been on, and how hurt she'd been, she couldn't help but kiss him back. She had feelings for him and couldn't just turn them off like a light switch. If he was serious about giving a relationship a shot, she wanted to try, too. She couldn't walk away from him; she cared about him too much. He'd broken through her walls of self-preservation, something she thought would never happen with anyone.

He pushed her into the pillows of the sofa and crawled on top of her as he kissed her. Their kissing became more frantic and passionate, clearly displaying their feelings for one another. The dim light from the fire and the lights on the tree made it feel so romantic, but she couldn't let things go further just yet.

While she still had willpower, she pushed him away and sat up. He looked both surprised and confused by her sudden change in behavior.

"Wait," she said, getting her wits about her. "I need to know we are on the same page before this goes further. I want to go into this with all the cards on the table; no surprises."

He flashed her a cheeky smile, and she swore she saw a devilish gleam in his eyes. He stood up and went over to his bag, opening it and rummaging through it for a moment, finally pulling something from it and returning to his spot on the sofa.

"I hate to tell you this, but I have a surprise. I got a little something for you; I hope you'll like it," he said, clutching something tightly in his fist.

He opened up his palm to reveal a silver ring, identical to the one he always wore, only smaller and delicate. He took her left hand and slid it onto her middle finger, the same finger he wore his, then kissed her palm.

"If this doesn't prove I'm serious about you, I don't know what will. I bought it two days after you left. When we'd gone shopping together, and you'd looked at that other ring you wanted to buy, they'd given you the sizing. I took note. You never know when you might need that information." He just smiled and gave her a wink, the pain and sadness having disappeared from his face.

She didn't know what to say. She could never have anticipated such a thing; it was a bold move on his part and a leap of faith as well. She couldn't understand why he would do such a thing. Before another thought could enter her mind, he spoke.

"I want you to have this because you hold a special place in my heart. When you look at it, I want you to think of me and how much I care for you. You've enchanted me in ways I could never explain, and I know I'm lucky to have you." He brought her hand to his lips, kissing it again, then holding it against his chest. "I promise I will never take you for granted again. Happy Christmas, love."

The tears welled up again, damn this man. Over the last hour and a half, he'd surprised her, infuriated and hurt her, begged for forgiveness, confessed his insecurities, and then professed his desire to be with her and only her. Her head was swimming; they'd been through more shit in one evening than most couples go through in the duration of an entire relationship, but it didn't lessen her desire to be with him. It would be a lesson learned if it turned out to be a mistake, but she had to give him a chance. No risk, no reward.

"I love it," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "But I feel bad. I don't have a gift for you."

He leaned in towards her, pressing his forehead against hers, smiling. "Don't be silly, love; you didn't have to get me anything. I already have all I wanted for Christmas. You."

#12 days of joemas #holiday ficathon

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