#wemtbb

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 21: The Lie that I'm Fed

Summary: In the aftermath of the Times Square attack, Thor asks Theo to do something that makes her start to question her understanding of her friendship with Loki. 

Contents: This entire chapter takes place in a hospital; however, there really isn’t much (if any) blood or gore. There are, however, descriptions of medical equipment, a touch of angst, and some comfort in the mix.

Word Count: 11,572

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

The Lie That I��m Fed

Song: Down on my Head - Yellowcard

I work all night for one more day  That I can say I’m all alone, alone I just need time, and I will say What I believe and I’ll come home, home And all I know…

When Theo promised she’d be back to the ED after the attack, she hadn’t meant for it to be as a patient. However, the moment Theo walked through the door Julie took one look at the blood covered, bruised up Avenger and immediately ordered Theo into the nearest treatment room.  

…. Which is how Theo found herself sitting on a stretcher in one of the treatment rooms, trying not to roll her eyes as Julie fussed over her.

At least they set the head of the bed up so she had something to lean on while she waited for Julie to tell Theo what she already knew — that she would be fine. Other than what would turn into an annoying black eye and bruised, throbbing knuckles from the stupid decision to punch someone, Theo had emerged relatively unscathed. The only reason she even agreed to be checked over was because smoke from the explosions meant she might have accidentally exacerbated her asthma.

Well, that and Julie could be a bit scary when she got overprotective.

From where Theo sat, she could easily spot the familiar beige and gray carts filled with medical supplies, the bright red biohazard bin, the steel tray that sat at the ready in case of impromptu surgical procedures. Despite being able to rattle off the contents of every drawer and cabinet in the room, for whatever reason they always seemed a bit foreign when she was in the room as the patient and not the provider.

“So your lungs don’t sound bad at the moment,” Julie concluded, draping her stethoscope around her neck. “However, If you need your rescue inhaler more than twice this week, make sure to get an appointment with your pulmonologist. With the circumstances, it could take a bit of time for an inhalation injury to become apparent.” 

“Usually it takes a couple hours for an inhalation injury to show up, Jules, not a couple days,” Theo pointed out. “If you aren’t noticing anything now, I’m sure I’m fine.”

“We don’t know what was in that smoke,” Julie countered, dark eyes trained on Theo. “If there was an irritant that managed to settle in your lungs, it may not trigger symptoms right away. I’d prefer you don’t land your ass in the hospital from a sudden asthma attack or airway inflammation.”

“Is that just because you don’t want to cover any more shifts while everyone’s out next month?” Theo teased, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and standing up.

“You and I both know that I wouldn’t be covering your shifts—” Julie feigned offense, a radiant grin offsetting the horror in her tone. “I’d find coverage for both of our shifts, because I’d be the one staying with you until you were back on your feet again, even though it means sleeping on a couch.”

History proved that Julie wasn’t exaggerating. During the year they lived together while in their residencies, Theo picked up a nasty case of bronchitis that made her asthma flare. Julie insisted on going with Theo to the doctor; when the doctor decided that Theo needed to be monitored in the hospital, Julie quite literally camped out on the hospital couch for three days, despite Theo’s reassurances that Julie could go home and sleep in her own bed.

“You have a point,” a small, grateful smile curled over Theo’s lips. As much as she hated being in a position where she needed that help, she appreciated having a friend who would show up, no questions asked, and be there for her.

In a lot of ways, Julie and Loki had that in common; when shit hit the fan, they didn’t think twice before they helped her through it. 

… Except Loki now thought of Theo as weak and unable to handle her shit. 

Ugh.

“Hey, do you know how Loki’s doing?” Theo glanced over Julie’s shoulder and towards the door. “I started treating him in the field and then got pulled away once the medics got to him. Last I saw, he wasn’t in great shape.”

“I’m not sure,” Julie glanced up from her tablet and frowned. “I overheard Helen saying they hadn’t been able to get a hold of Thor. Maybe you could see if they reached him, and if not you could try calling Thor for them? It’d give you a reason to check his chart.”

Theo almost smirked at Julie’s thinly-veiled attempt to circumvent healthcare privacy laws, but the lack of an assurance that Loki was okay dispelled any shred of amusement. 

“If you can’t tell me that’s fine,” Theo dryly remarked, “but I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to be giving me workarounds to HIPAA.” 

“Eh, you have top secret security clearance.” Julie shrugged. “I’m not worried about you abusing access to healthcare records. I know you have to pull them for mission reports anyways.”

“Fair enough.” Theo looked at the door for a second time, shifting her weight back and forth between her feet. “Need me for anything else? Or am I good to go?”

“I don’t need you for anything else, but are we going to talk about that?” Julie pointed at Theo’s right hand, which at that moment Theo covered with an ice pack.

“What about it?”

“You obviously punched someone…” Julie trailed off, grimacing when Theo removed the ice pack, revealing purple splotches already blooming on swollen knuckles. “… or something.”

“Your point?”

“You don’t punch.”

“Yeah I do.” 

“No,” Julie saw right through Theo’s attempt to prevent further conversation on what had been an absolute clusterfuck of an evening. “Not unless there’s a damn good reason.”

“I got punched first?” Theo tried, though she knew it wasn’t likely to work.

“No,” Julie quickly shook her head. “You’d have stabbed them.” 

“Well,” Theo smirked, “I did that too.”

“So why—“

Theo rolled her eyes and groaned. “Look, I was pissed—“

“—What the hell pissed you off so badly that you punched someone?!” 

“I—It’s just—“ the more Theo thought about it, the more annoyed she became. Yes, annoyed by Loki’s assumptions and by Chris’s reckless flaunting of his new relationship, but more at herself. She should have had the self-control to ignore the crowd. She should have practiced restraint when she was attacked, not giving into aggression. She should have stayed close to Loki so she could have taken down that handler and prevented their escape. Then she could have learned who recognized her, and maybe gotten closer to figuring out who the hell knew her secret and why they were coming after her.

“… It’s just what?” 

Snapped from her self-deprecation, Theo huffed. “Look, I’m pretty sure I saw Chris standing on the sidelines watching—“

“— You’re kidding—“Julie’s jaw dropped. 

“—And he wasn’t alone,” Theo added with a nod. Realistically, Chris and his flavor of the week were the least of Theo’s concerns, but it was better than trying to explain the handler situation, or that things were weird with Loki. The former was a conversation she never wanted to have, and the latter was a conversation that required a girl’s night with wine… lots of wine. “Apparently he has a new girlfriend, or watching a shadow creature attack was enough of a turn on that they couldn’t stop themselves from making out right there and then.”

“Fuck that — I’d be pissed too. But why punch someone?”

“I told you…” Theo rolled her eyes a second time. “I got caught off guard. It was more of a reaction than anything.”

“Well, don’t do it again,” Julie replied with a stern look and a tone that teetered on the edge of scolding. “You know as well as I do that you‘re lucky you didn’t seriously fuck up your hand in the process, and that’s the hand you do everything with.”

“I’m sure I’ll be reminded every time I move it for the next week or two…” Theo drawled, barely biting back a wince as she pressed the ice pack to her injury once more. “Now, can I go?”

I never thought I would wake up in bed Watching the world coming down on my head I’d sleep like a dog if you would never have said This is the world coming down on your head

After a detour to the staff locker room to shower and change into some clean scrubs, Theo sat down at the nursing station computer and pulled Loki’s chart. Reading through the notes, a tenuous relief flowed through her - though Loki had gone into shock, Theo’s healing mitigated the worst of the effects. Sure, he still had to have surgery and would need some time to recover, but it could have been worse.

Still, the thought of someone being powerful enough to injure a god so severely left an unsettling pit in Theo’s stomach. Even worse, that person escaped because Theo couldn’t keep up, leaving nothing but questions and destruction in their wake.

Theo didn’t want to call Thor to tell him bad news, but someone needed to do it. She dialed Thor’s number, wondering with each passing ring if he could even receive phone calls when he wasn’t on Earth. 

“Hello?” Right as Theo prepared to get a voicemail greeting, Thor answered.

“Hey Thor, it’s Theo.”

“Lady Theo! I was not expecting your call!” Somehow, even through the phone, Thor’s voice boomed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He must not have noticed that Theo called the emergency number.

“Well,” Theo hesitated, cringing to herself as she took a deep breath. “Not sure if you heard, but earlier today there was a pretty big shadow creature attack on Times Square. Everyone here responded and stopped the attack—” she braced herself for the potential reaction as she continued, “— but Loki was injured in the fighting—”

“—Is he alright?” In the drop of a hat, all of the casual warmth vanished from Thor’s voice, replaced with a desperation and raw fear that twisted Theo’s heart in a knot. 

“—Yeah! Loki’s being treated right now—” Theo quickly clarified before Thor could spiral into a full-blown panic. Notifying next of kin about a patient’s condition was never fun, but having to deliver the news to friends was absolutely worse. “He’s currently in surgery, but it’s a pretty routine procedure and he’s being operated on by the best of the best. They’ll take good care of him.”

On the other end of the phone, Thor let out a heavy, nervous sigh. “What sort of wounds did my brother sustain?”

“The wounds requiring surgery are a laceration to the right upper abdomen and a stab wound to his thigh. The abdominal wound was the more serious of the two, but I was able to heal some of that one in the field so it’s not as serious as it originally had been. They’re both deep enough that they need to be stitched up from the inside or they won’t heal properly, which is why he’s in surgery,” Theo said. “He lost a lot of blood, but they’ve already given him additional blood and are prepared to give him more if needed. He also has a concussion and a laceration to his head, but the head laceration was pretty shallow and shouldn’t need any stitches. Otherwise, standard bumps and bruises from fighting.”

“And his recovery time?”

“He’s going to be admitted for at least a few days; all things considered, I’d estimate around a week. Anytime there’s significant blood loss, patients are initially monitored in the ICU in case of any complications. I’m sure the doctors will also want to make sure the wounds heal properly.” Theo continued, cradling the phone in the crook of her shoulder as she glanced around at the bustling unit. “That said, with his enhanced healing he has a pretty quick recovery ahead of him. I’m sure he’ll be back on his feet in no time. I know you’re off-planet right now, but we wanted you to be aware of what’s going on.”

“I thank you for your consideration,” Thor solemnly replied. “We expect to complete our objective within a few hours. I will inform the others that we are to return immediately so that I may be with my brother. The journey will take a couple of days if we do not encounter any difficulties.” 

“Sounds good. Is there anyone else I should call and give updates to while you’re gone, or who you think should stay with him, at least until you’re back?” As Theo asked the question, she had already started looking up Val’s phone number in anticipation of Thor’s answer.

“If you could notify the Valkyrie, I would be most grateful. She will ensure matters related to New Asgard are managed accordingly.” Thor let out a tense exhale on the opposite end of the phone. “May I make a request, my lady?” 

“Sure,” Theo shrugged, even though Thor couldn’t see her. “What’s up?”

“My brother…” Thor faltered, then drew in an audible breath.  “Anytime he does not feel as if he has full control of himself or awareness of his surroundings, he does not react well. With the many medicines that dull the senses and limit consciousness, I am sure you understand how infirmary admissions would be challenging for him. I fear what might happen if he wakes from surgery without a trusted, familiar presence to reassure him of his safety.”

The way Thor prefaced his request opened up a pit of worry in Theo’s stomach. Even if Val picked up the phone right away, the only way she’d make it to New York in time for Loki to get out of surgery would be if Tony sent a quinjet to pick them up; given SHIELD was in rapid response mode after the attack, the odds of getting approved for a non-emergency and non-mission pickup were… well, none. 

“You are my brother’s closest friend, and I know without a doubt he trusts you with his life. If there is anyone else who could be there in my stead to provide the reassurance he needs, it would be you. Would you stay with my brother until I return?”

Wait…  what?

“You—You want me to stay in the hospital with him until you get back— like, stay overnight with him?” Unsure if she heard him correctly, Theo repeated the request back to Thor. 

Closest friend? Since when was she Loki’s closest friend? What about Val? They seemed pretty close, from what Theo could tell. They’d known each other for much longer, and they had been through a lot together. What about Wanda? Or Bruce — sure, there was the whole hulk smash thing, but they both escaped Sakaar together and worked together in establishing New Asgard. Hell, even Bucky or Sam would have made more sense, given the length of time Loki knew each other and from what Theo had observed of their friendships/dynamics in the field. 

So why would Theo be the one Thor asked?

“I recognize I am asking much of you, but know it is not a request I make lightly,” Thor implored, “it’s simply — I trust that my brother will recover in body, but I worry for the impact this will have upon his mind and spirit—”

“— Yeah, of course, I’ll stay with him,” Theo quickly promised, still trying to wrap her mind around the rationale. “The request just… it surprised me, that’s all. I’m happy to help out.”

Sure, she was annoyed about the whole assumption thing and she didn’t get why Thor asked her, of all people, but Loki always had her back when she needed him, so the very least she could do was return the favor. 

“Thank you, my lady,” Thor sighed, only sounding marginally relieved. “I assure you, I would not ask if I did not believe it to be necessary for my brother’s wellbeing. My gratitude knows no bounds.”

“It’s all good, Thor,” Theo replied. “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news — I know it’s not the kind of phone call you want to get. But I promise, he’s got the best of the best taking care of him. Are there any questions I can answer for you at the moment?”

“None at this time, though I imagine I will have additional inquiries soon.”

“Okay, well, feel free to text or call me as questions come up. Otherwise, I’ll call Val to let her know, and I’ll let you know as I have updates, okay?”

“Very well; again, thank you, truly. I am in your debt.” 

After ending the call and updating Loki’s records to reflect that Thor had been notified, Theo slouched back in the desk chair as the reality of what she agreed to washed over her.

Two days of staying with Loki, who she was not on the best of terms with at that moment, who may not even want her there… and if Thor was right, who would be very unhappy about being in the hospital.

Theo scrubbed her face with one hand as she tried to convince herself this was a good idea. Loki needed someone to stay with him, and Theo wasn’t about to abandon him; then again, what if he kicked her out? Would he let someone else stay with him — maybe Val, once she got to New York? Or would he refuse to let anyone try and help? What would Theo tell Thor – ‘sorry, your brother actually is pissed at me and kicked me out?’

To make matters worse, she didn’t even know what Thor meant when he said Loki would be “unhappy” about being in the hospital. Did that mean angry? Upset? Scared? Would Loki try to refuse treatment, or use magic when he wasn’t supposed to, or even try to leave before the doctors discharged him? Would he lash out, or try to shut everyone out? 

The more she thought about it, the more she considered calling Thor back and asking just what exactly she should be prepared for; however, Thor was technically on a mission, so trying to call him for something that wasn’t an emergency or an update on his brother was likely to get her chewed out by Fury.

As if the universe knew her predicament, her cell phone pinged with a notification from the group chat…

… Maybe the other Avengers could help.

As life flies by, I’m not sure  How I’m gonna do this all again, again  So line by line, I write this down And I just try to find the end, the end And all I know…

An hour passed from when Theo left the Emergency Department to when she strolled into the waiting room. Unlike the emergency department, which prioritized practicality and utilitarianism over aesthetics in its design, the rest of the hospital — where patients and their families passed through, at least — looked more like they were a part of a luxury hotel. 

Of course, since Tony Stark paid for everything, his preferences shined in the design: waiting areas were furnished with minimalistic furniture in muted, yet soothing shades of blues, greens, and grays. The nurses stations featured crisp, white stone countertops with faint gray veins that flowed across the surface. Overhead, modern light fixtures of varying shapes and sizes illuminated every nook and cranny. What appeared to be espresso-stained hardwood floors were actually made of a special antimicrobial, non-slip material — one of the few signs that they were in a hospital. 

Theo scanned the groups of seating around the waiting room. According to the group chat most of the team had set up shop together, working on post-attack reports and following up on various leads as they waited for updates on Loki’s surgery. It didn’t take long for her to spot Natasha, who waved as Theo approached. 

As expected, Natasha was far from alone: Bucky sat close enough beside her that their shoulders brushed, while Sam sat on Bucky’s other side. Peter had sprawled out on the floor, lanky legs stretched out in front of him with his laptop on his lap. Wanda curled up with Vision on a nearby loveseat, her head resting on his shoulder while he kept a comforting hand on her thigh. Yelena sat with her legs curled underneath her on the chair, holding her phone like she had just been scrolling through TikTok. Shuri sat next to Yelena, using an end table to hold a holographic display as she used her computer to modify what looked like an invention of some kind.  

“You know that we’re only going to be here for a few hours, not a few days, right?” Sam arched an eyebrow at the pair of oversized duffel bags Theo carried, practically bursting at the seams from the amount of stuff she shoved inside.

“You’re going to be here for a few hours,” Theo replied, dropping the bag to the floor before taking the nearest open seat, “but I’m probably going to be here for a few days.”

Sam’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Why?”

“When I called Thor to let him know what was going on, he asked if I could stay with Loki until he gets back to Earth… which it sounds like will be in two or three days.”

“So Thor asked you to stay with Loki?” Bucky clarified, narrowing his eyes at Theo as if he was looking for something more.

”I think it was one of those things where he was freaking out because he didn’t want his brother to be alone, and since I was the one on the phone at that time, I ended up being the person he asked,” Theo shrugged. “It’s probably a good thing — I can be the point of contact for updates and relaying information back and forth, and I can still work on stuff while I’m there. Besides, with the number of times Loki has dealt with me being a literal shit show, I think I owe him at least a few days of waiting on him hand and foot.”

“Okay, fine, but are we going to talk about how you packed more for three days than most people pack for a month?” Shuri teased, eyeing the bags. “Those are about to burst!”

“In my defense, most of it isn’t for me!” Theo confessed, her cheeks inexplicably burning. “I stopped by Loki’s suite and the gift shop to grab some stuff that I thought he might want or would make him more comfortable and a bit less miserable, at least until Thor gets back.”

“Pretty sure just having you around will make him less miserable,” Natasha wryly pointed out, eyes glittering as she smirked at Theo. 

Theo shot Natasha with a skeptical glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’d gut everyone in this room before he’d admit it,” Yelena replied with an expression identical to Natasha’s; for a lack of shared DNA, they certainly acted like sisters. “But he has a soft spot for you.” 

“Yeah,“ Peter chimed in, “You’re definitely his favorite person on the team—“ 

“Mm,” Theo shook her head, “I’m pretty sure that’s Thor—”

“—Fine, you’re his favorite human on the team,” Natasha replied.

“I think you’re overselling it, but whatever.” Theo rolled her eyes and laughed it off, though her pulse quickened at the thought. First Thor, now the others — was there something that Theo hadn’t noticed? “Soft spot or not, Thor said Loki wouldn’t be happy about being in the hospital, but he didn’t really explain what that meant… any idea about what I should expect?”

“Well, I haven’t seen him in the hospital,” Wanda replied, her expression thoughtful, “but when he gets sick he’s pretty cranky... Like he’s in one of his moods.”

“Okay, so three days of him grouching at me over anything and everything,” Theo nodded. Behind her unfazed expression, she wondered how much worse it would be since they were mid-argument. “Well, it could be worse.” 

“At least you’re prepared for him to be grouchy,” Yelena muttered, earning a snort of laughter from Shuri. 

“He’ll probably be doped up on pain meds though,” Sam offered, “so he may be too stoned to be cranky.”

“That’ll probably piss him off more,” Bucky quickly shook his head, scowling at Sam. “Losing control of yourself messes with your head, even after you’re back to normal. After what he went through, with Thanos? I bet it stirs up some really messed up emotions. Getting pissed off would be understandable.”

Oh… shit. Theo hadn’t even considered that possibility.

“If you need a break, let me know,” Wanda offered, the gold flecks in her irises catching the light as she gave Theo a small, understanding smile that made Theo wonder if she let her nonplussed demeanor slip.  ”I can switch with you for a bit.” 

“Thanks — Val’s planning to fly out here tomorrow, so I’m betting she’d also trade out,” Theo said, careful to make sure she didn't show any more signs that there were other reasons to worry. “but it’s good to know I have options.” 

Hopefully, though, she wouldn’t need them…

I never thought I would wake up in bed Watching the world coming down on my head I’d sleep like a dog if you would never have said This is the world coming down on your head

Switching roles from doctor to patient was strange, but manageable. 

Switching from doctor to support person was much, much harder.

Waiting for updates was perhaps even worse when Theo knew all the possible complications and the worst outcomes, all of which might be happening at that moment and she would be none the wiser. When the estimated time they were supposed to get an update came and went without a word, Theo found herself trying to silence the worried voices in her head as she tried to reassure the others that delays were not in and of themselves cause for concern: more often than not, they stemmed from administrative matters, such as putting in post-op orders for the current patient, or the surgeon may have been on their way to give the update when they were pulled aside to consult on an emergent patient. 

The eventual appearance of the receptionist, inviting the group to a nearby conference room and promising the surgeon would be there shortly, either meant the news was bad, or the patient was of a high-enough profile that extra privacy was crucial. 

Likely the latter, but that didn’t stop Theo from considering the former as a distinct possibility.

The group had barely settled into the cramped conference room — not meant to hold almost a dozen people — when Dr. Zergaw arrived, closely followed by Helen.

Dr. Zergaw, the surgeon in charge of Loki’s operation, smiled warmly at the group as she greeted them and introduced herself, her deep brown eyes and gentle voice giving no sign of concern. She must have taken time to change out of her surgical attire, wearing a fresh set of green scrubs with a white overcoat that contrasted her ebony hair, which she kept braided back in small, neat rows.

Helen’s presence made sense, as she consulted on any case involving non-human patients; similar to Dr. Zergaw, she lacked any of the tells Theo could expect when bad news was to follow.

Together, the doctors affirmed that everything went well; though Loki would be admitted to the ICU, it was so they could monitor him closely in case of complications related to hypovolemic shock. All-in-all, as long as he took it easy, the road to recovery would be smooth.

Visiting hours had long passed by then, so the rest of the Avengers returned to the residential part of the tower while Dr. Zergaw walked with Theo to Loki’s room. Along the way, the surgeon filled her in on the technical details of the procedure that she wouldn’t typically share with patients or their families. Too much jargon could be intimidating and cause unnecessary worry, but with a fellow doctor it was a chance to nerd out, especially since Loki’s biology differed slightly from operating on a human.

Except… Theo couldn’t help the discomfort that roiled in her stomach as she learned just how narrowly they avoided a much worse outcome. It was one thing to talk shop, but when it was someone she cared about, she almost wished she had remained in the dark.

The late hour meant the halls were quiet as they entered the unit, other than the occasional squeak of nurses’ rubber soled shoes on the floor and the random chime of an IV pump that needed its settings adjusted. 

It wasn’t until they were nearly at the end of the hall that Theo could hear anyone speaking.

“Big cough— there you go. You’re okay. Alright, deep breath through your nose…”

Dr. Zergaw’s pace slowed, coming to a stop in front of the last door in the hallway. The metal and glass door hadn’t been completely closed, allowing for parts of the conversation inside to be heard from the hall.

”Can you tell me your name and birthday? … Good, good. Wiggle your toes for me— great. And squeeze my hands… great.”

“He’s inside,” Dr. Zergaw gestured to the door, “sounds like the nurses are in with him now, but you should be able to go in. Let me know if you have questions.”

After thanking the doctor, Theo drew in a deep breath, braced herself for any number of scenarios, and slipped inside. She turned around as she carefully closed the steel-framed door, the latch sliding into place with a muffled click. Her eyes flicked up to the frosted glass inlay, focusing on the individual, almost granular specks worn into the material from the etching process. She released a slow, measured exhale, then spun back around. 

The room was far more spacious than the typical hospital room, closer in size and arrangement to a hotel suite or a studio apartment than a hospital room. All it took was a quick glance to know that the same design philosophy found within the waiting areas and public-facing areas of the hospital applied here: minimalist furniture upholstered in soothing blues and greens, white stone countertops, varying light sources that could all be brightened or dimmed as needed, and flourishes of cool-toned woods throughout.

Ahead of Theo, positioned so the head of the bed was against the wall on her right, was Loki’s hospital bed. Flanking each side of the bed was a nurse, too busy tending to Loki to notice Theo’s arrival. 

When Theo finally laid eyes on Loki, she froze.  

Sure, his complexion no longer rivaled a ghost, but he was still so pale he practically blended into the sheets, except for where he had cuts or bruises that marred his usually pristine skin. Instead of piercing green eyes that noticed every little detail, he looked around from beneath heavy lashes with a cloudy, vacant stare. Somehow, it looked like the hospital bed swallowed him whole.

Eventually, Theo ripped her eyes away from Loki, instead watching the nurses. A copper-haired nurse with a dusting of freckles across her cheeks adjusted the settings and labeling tubes on the dozen IV pumps mounted at the bedside. She barely looked old enough to legally drink, yet moved with such practiced ease and familiarity that she must have been a veteran on the unit.

The other nurse – a short, plump woman with terra-cotta skin and streaks of silver interspersed in her dark hair – focused her attention on Loki. She wore the type of gentle, caring smile that often came with years of experience tending to others; at least the nurses assigned to Loki’s care seemed like they were up to the task. 

“... You already had surgery. Everything went really well. We brought you to your room while you were still sleeping,” she explained to Loki in a low, calming voice, resting a comforting hand on his arm. “We’re going to keep a close watch and make sure you’re comfortable while you heal. All you need to do is relax and get some rest, okay?” 

Loki’s gaze meandered up to the nurse, staring blankly at her for a few moments before his brows slowly drew together, and he frowned.

“Thor…?” Loki mumbled, voice raspy enough that he winced at the sound. “Where’s… Thor?”

“He’s on his way—“ Theo spoke up, alerting the rest of the room to her presence. The nurses watched Theo approach, both raising a curious brow when they noticed the jam-packed bags that Theo carried. Loki, however, didn’t notice Theo’s presence until she stopped at the foot of the bed. When he finally looked at her, she offered him a small smile, praying that she looked more confident than she felt. “He’s going to be here as soon as he can.”

“… Oh,” Loki diverted his attention, staring down at the blankets; he swallowed thickly, the sharp angle of his jaw shifting as if the movement brought discomfort.

“We’ll take great care of you, your highness,” the nurse who had been adjusting his IVs assured him. “Is there anything we can get you?”

No.” Loki barely shook his head, instead closing his eyes; despite acting like he intended to go back to sleep, the tension in his facial expression remained. 

While the nurses raised the bed rails and reminded Loki of the call button, Theo dropped the pair of duffel bags on the couch, then moved an armchair closer to Loki’s bedside and took a seat. She watched the nurses leave, waiting for the click of the door latching shut before she addressed Loki.

“Hey,” Theo took Loki’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. His skin felt like ice to her touch, stirring up dredges of concern from deep within. “You alright?”

“M’m fine.” A strained exhale followed the short, mumbled answer. “How long…?”

“Until Thor gets here?” Theo ventured, her guess affirmed by a listless nod from Loki. “Not totally sure, but I know he is doing everything he can to get here as soon as possible.”

Even with his eyes wrenched shut, the way Loki’s eyelids twitched, along with the smallest glisten near his lashes, caught Theo’s attention. 

“—That doesn’t mean he’s unreachable though! He has been texting with me ever since he heard the news, constantly asking for updates. We could try FaceTiming him if you want?”

Loki blinked a few times, eventually looking at Theo with a sort of vacant expression that left Theo questioning if Loki understood what she said…

… Damn, he really wasn’t feeling like himself.

After a few moments of Loki continuing to simply stare, Theo pulled her starkpad from her bag and held it up for Loki to see, hoping that the visual would prompt a response.

Finally, Loki gave a small, yet decisive, nod.

“Great, let me just call…“ With a few quick taps, Theo unlocked the tablet and scrolled through her contacts, eventually locating Thor near the bottom of the list.

Hopefully, with the frequency that Thor had been messaging Theo, he’d see the incoming call and would answer right away. Theo wasn’t sure she was prepared for the alternative.

She pressed the call icon.

“Lady Theo—“ Thor answered part-way through the first ring, his answer unleashing a wave of relief within Theo. “—What news do you bring of my brother?”

At the sound of Thor’s voice, Loki’s face softened and crumpled at the same time. He tried to hide his reaction behind one hand, but it only made the response more obvious. Yet another knot tied itself tighter in Theo’s chest.

“Someone just woke up and asked for you—” Theo explained as she set the tablet on the over-bed table so Loki could easily see Thor, and vice-versa, removing herself from line of sight. “—So I thought we could give you a call and you two could chat.”

“Loki!” Even without seeing Thor’s expression, his relief came through the device clear as day. “How are you feeling?”

“I—“ Loki cut himself off, almost like he wanted to tamp down his honesty. “…Thor.”

An undercurrent of panic flowed through his response. 

Thor replied with something in what Theo could only assume was Asgardian, and Loki responded in turn, this time without the previous hesitancy. Between Thor’s hushed, smooth tone and Loki’s hitched breaths and shaky responses, Theo had a pretty good idea of what was going on: Loki was on the verge of an anxiety attack, and Thor was helping him through it. Based on Loki’s physical cues and the change in language, Theo decided the best thing she could do was step back and let them have some privacy. 

So, with Loki fully focused on the tablet in front of him, Theo cautiously rose from her seat, crept over to the duffel bags, and began to unpack. Unpacking was the perfect task for the moment: it gave Theo something to focus on that wasn’t the video call, but it kept her close by in case anything came up. Plus, she wouldn’t have to worry about waking up Loki with the sound of opening doors or drawers as she familiarized herself with the room and its amenities.

And, though she wouldn’t admit it, unpacking everything meant no one else could give her a hard time about everything she brought with her. After all, most of it wasn’t even for her, though what she brought was based on her own experience and knowledge of what actually was helpful to have and what was nice in theory, but didn’t really help.

After unzipping the first duffel bag, Theo looked around to get a sense of her storage options. Two seating areas flanked the hospital bed. The couch where Theo had dropped the duffel bags was on one side, accompanied by a coffee table and lightweight armchairs that created a large seating area equipped to host visitors. Theo retrieved the few things she took from Loki’s suite – books he was reading, his starkpad, various charging cords, headphones – and set them on the coffee table for the moment, since the over-bed table was in use.

On the opposite side of the bed, a pair of reclining armchairs sat close enough to converse with a patient, yet out of the path of traffic; the perfect place to stash the collection of bedding Theo picked up at the gift shop, knowing how much they helped make the bed more comfortable. Theo carefully stacked the varying shapes and sizes of pillows on the seat of a recliner, then draped the half-folded fleece blankets across the back. Once Loki felt a bit more calm she’d offer the additional bedding, but if he wanted them before Theo could offer, they’d be easy for her to grab.

Across from the bed, most of the wall was made up of a pair of floor to ceiling pocket doors in a lighter espresso wood; however, the parts that weren’t the doors offered shelves and drawers for storage, and a small workstation with a chair tucked in along the wall. 

Guessing that Loki would want to change out of the hospital gown as soon as possible, Theo made sure to purchase a couple sets of pajamas that were easy to change into while allowing easy access to injuries and IV sites. She had debated bringing some from his suite, but  the idea of rifling through his closet seemed a bit too invasive; she did, however, double check with FRIDAY to make sure she bought the correct sizes. She also bought a robe and slippers with grippy soles, since they could be used even before ditching the hospital gown. 

Theo folded the pajamas and set them on one of the shelves, then repeated the process with the robe. The slippers were placed beside the robe so everything was in one convenient location.

Before she continued, Theo stopped to check out the flat-screen TV mounted in the corner, angled down towards the patient bed. From a quick glance at the mount, it looked like it would be easy to move around; though she didn’t touch it, Theo made a mental note in case they needed to adjust it later. 

Theo walked over to the pocket doors, sliding them open to reveal a second seating area with couch and armchairs that matched the furniture in the other half of the room, as well as a dining area that seated up to four people and a kitchenette, complete with sink, mini fridge, electric kettle, and microwave. She thought back to the day Helen and Julie showed her around: 

“One of the important aspects of patient-centered care is incorporating friends and family into visits,” Helen had said, opening a similar set of doors to reveal that each room wasn’t just a room, but a suite. “This design allows loved ones to be close by without having to cram into one room. It also gives loved ones a respite, and lets them easily access some basic comforts while navigating a stressful situation.”

Theo had been impressed by the amenities when she first learned about them; now, she was grateful for them. Along with a water bottle for Loki, Theo set her own water bottle on the counter by the sink with plans to fill it up once everything was put away.

All the while, Theo toed the line between eavesdropping and ignorance as best she could. As much as she wanted to allow the brothers some privacy, she also needed to pay attention in case they needed her for something - after all, Thor didn’t need any more reasons to worry about Loki while he was gone, and an inattentive caretaker would certainly be cause for concern. 

With most of Loki’s stuff taken care of, she switched to unpacking her own stuff. She set her own books and her laptop next to Loki’s on the coffee table, then ducked around the furniture to plug in the chargers she’d need for her assorted devices. Rather than pull all of her clothes out of the second duffel, Theo stuck the entire thing in the drawer beneath Loki’s pajamas. If she really felt ambitious she could actually take stuff out of the bag later, but for the moment she just wanted her stuff out of the way.

Theo slipped into the bathroom, fully expecting to linger just long enough to drop off the bags of toiletries she retrieved from her go-bag and from Loki’s go-bag, only to be stopped in her tracks by the room before her. 

…Not only was the bathroom the nicest hospital bathroom she’d ever seen, it might have been even nicer than her own bathroom.

A large bathtub that looked like it came straight from Architectural Digest stood as the focal point of the room, offering the option of hydrotherapy while cleverly disguising the signs that the tub had been designed for side access and patients with limited mobility. A separate shower stood nearby, sectioned off by a floor-to-ceiling pane of glass. Porcelain, ceramic, and engineered marble finishes in shades of white and soft gray coordinated seamlessly with the matte black faucets, shower head, and grab bars, while espresso wood from the shower bench and a shelving unit by the bathtub gave the room a sleek, spa-like feel.

When Theo finally got herself back together, she plopped both bags of toiletries on the marble counter, tucked away in a back corner so they wouldn’t get in the way or knocked onto the floor. 

Just before she left, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and paused. The tender spot on her cheek had already begun to darken, a patch of indigo rising to the surface of her swollen skin. Good thing she didn’t have any public appearances or photoshoots planned, because that bruise was going to get worse before it got better. Heavy bags sagged beneath her bloodshot eyes. If that was how bad she looked after freshening up, she could only imagine how rough she must have looked before.

The only things left in the remaining duffel bag were Theo’s blanket and pillow, which she had swiped from her own couch. She took the remaining items from the last duffel bag, tucked the empty bag away, and then set about preparing her own spot to sleep. 

The couch that Theo initially set the duffel bags on could transform into a bed by moving a couple parts. Behind the couch, a wall of windows extended to the ceiling, framed by two sets of curtains: one set of pale gray sheer drapes, the other made of heavy, sage green velour meant to block out all light. Outside was a clear view of the New York skyline, city lights glistening in the dead of night. 

Lacking the patience to properly convert the couch into a bed, Theo simply tossed her pillow on the far end of the couch, then laid out her own blanket across the cushions. Maybe she’d regret it in the morning, but given she wasn’t even sure she would have a chance to sleep, she didn’t fret too much about it.

Just as Theo finished straightening her blanket, the sound of Thor calling her name caught her attention. She turned around to check just in time for Thor to call her name again, prompting Theo to check in on the brothers. 

She crept over to the bed, only to find that Loki had dozed off; unsurprising, since the anesthesia was still wearing off and he had some extremely heavy pain meds in his system. Even in his sleep, his brows pinched together and left a small crease on his forehead, and he wore a slight frown. On the tablet screen, Thor peered from side to side as he repeated Theo’s name.

“Hey,“ Theo kept her voice low as she picked up the tablet. She slipped into the other room and cracked the doors so she could converse without disturbing Loki, but also keep an eye on him. “Sorry, I wanted to give you two some privacy, so I was just—“

“—Thank you for calling me—“ Thor began, but faltered. “I— I hesitate to think of what might have transpired had you not.”

“Is he okay?”

“For now…” Through the tablet screen, storms brewed behind Thor’s sapphire eyes. “I suspect you will have a long night ahead.” 

That wasn’t promising. 

“Can I call you again if—”

“—Of course.” Thor answered with such speed that Theo wondered if they’d been through a situation like this before. 

“If I can’t reach you, is there anything I can do to help him feel better?”

Thor let out a trembling breath of his own; he looked at something off-screen, lost in thought. “Our mother — Frigga — when Loki was small, if he fell ill, Frigga was the only one who could console him. In these moments, I try to comfort Loki as Frigga once comforted him. I am nowhere near as successful, unfortunately.” A bittersweet smile appeared. “Alas, you never met her, so I am not sure that my ramblings are of much use.”

“It’s okay,” Theo said, a familiar ache settling within her ribs. “I get it. I miss my family when I don’t feel well, too.”

Thor hummed quietly, nodding to himself.

“She would have liked you—” He remarked, almost absentmindedly. “—Frigga, that is.”

“From what Loki tells me, she sounded like an amazing woman.”

“Indeed…” Thor sighed — a heavy, weary sigh — then brought his focus back to Theo. “Forgive me, my lady. I should let you go.”

“Okay. I’ll keep you updated on how Loki’s doing, but really— feel free to call or text if you need me or have questions.”

It only took three more assurances that Theo was happy to help and that Thor could contact her any time if he had questions before Theo was able to end the call with Thor and return to her chair beside Loki. 

She understood Thor’s anxieties; if Mémère or Max were sick or injured and Theo couldn’t be there, she’d be downright inconsolable. Mémère had been her rock for most of her life, and though she and Max often gave each other headaches, they had been through so much together that not even an apocalypse could tear them apart. For better or worse, they were the family she had left — she lost everyone else.

And though it had been years since they last saw each other, Theo still missed her sister more than anyone else whenever she got sick.

You gave it to me, I remember it read And you’ve got the world coming down on your head There’s nothing to fight for, it’s already dead And this is the world coming down on your head

Nights spent in a hospital were nothing new.

Working in Emergency Medicine, nights were a standard part of the role — just like working holidays, weekends, and any other time any sane person would prefer to be out living their best life. Even in its quietest hour, the ED never offered a truly dull moment; if anything, nights were just as busy as days, if not even more busy.

Nights in the ED weren’t the only nights Theo had spent in the hospital, though. When Katie was born, Theo spent the night with Max and Ellie, coaching Ellie to push and watching her vitals like a hawk. Once, Mémère had to have a small surgery, and Theo spent the entire night trying to keep the stubborn old woman from getting up on her own and setting off the bed alarm. And of course, there were the times Theo’s asthma had gotten the best of her, and Theo spent the night alternating between nebulizers and oxygen, constantly waking herself up with coughing.

All of that to say, Theo was used to nights in the hospital where things weren’t so… quiet. 

Outside, the world was asleep; the night seemed never-ending, shadows of skyscrapers outside the window stretching out toward the horizon. But In Loki’s room, time felt suspended. A soft glow emitted from the bedside monitor, matched by the pale moonlight filtering in through the window. The light in the hallway shone beneath the door, accompanied by the occasional nurse's footsteps; however, it did little to illuminate the room. 

It wasn’t long after talking to Thor and Theo had returned to her place at Loki’s side that her attention shifted to studying the various devices that Loki was connected to.

Due to the severity of shock and the monitoring required for treatment, Theo was not at all surprised to see the central line in his neck, the collection of catheters trailing from IV pumps beneath the blankets to various parts of his body, and the arterial line in his wrist, which had been splinted to prevent any kinks in the tubing. Nor was she surprised by the clear oxygen cannula running beneath his nose, ECG sensors peeking out from beneath his hospital gown to monitor his heart, or the mountain of blankets covering most of his body, likely fresh from the blanket warmer to counteract the chill that came from spending hours in the operating room.

In a strange way, Theo was almost grateful that she was the one with Loki. Given Thor’s reaction to the phone call and the video chat, seeing Loki in person, with all the tubes and wires, was practically a guarantee that all of New York would be subjected to brutal storms as the God of Thunder veritably freaked out…

Theo, at least, understood the procedures, the diagnostics, the nursing interventions; she did not have fear of the unknown exacerbating her concern for her friend.

… Not that Theo was content to see Loki in such bad shape. Loki was a fucking God; it wasn’t even supposed to be possible for him to be seriously injured. The Loki before Theo was a far cry from the wry, sharp-witted man whose strength carried her through her low moments. It just wasn’t right. 

As she ruminated on the circumstances, Theo watched Loki’s face, noting the faint, barely noticeable furrow between his brows. Even in sleep, he seemed like he was carrying something—perhaps the weight of the attack, or the effects of the surgery, or maybe something deeper, something Theo couldn’t understand. 

Every so often, Loki’s chest would rise and fall with a deeper breath, his face softening in sleep as if his discomfort slipped away completely. Each time, Theo prayed that peaceful expression would remain, only to be disappointed when the tension returned. 

After what felt like both a moment and a lifetime, Loki stirred, a small, soft groan escaping his lips as he shifted under the blankets. Theo leaned forward instinctively, her hand hovering near the side of the bed, ready to adjust the blanket or call for a nurse.

As if Loki sensed Theo’s presence, he tilted his head toward her, brows drawn together as he blinked slowly, trying to shake the hold of unconsciousness. 

“Hey,” Theo greeted him with a gentle smile. “How’re you feeling?”

A moment of silence passed before Loki’s attention turned towards Theo; he looked at her through cloudy eyes, though he did look a bit confused.

“Thor…?” Loki mumbled, blearily scanning the room for his brother. “Where’s Thor?”

He didn’t remember.

It was probably the anesthetic still working its way out of his system, but for a moment Theo wondered if his concussion was worse than initially thought.

“He’s on his way – he’s going to be here as soon as he can,” Theo replied, injecting as much comfort into her tone as she could. She slipped both her hands around his closest hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as she softly smiled at him. “How’re you feeling?”

“I—“ Loki frowned at Theo, searching within her eyes with an increasing panic for something unknown. “I— I don’t recall….”

“… What happened?” Theo finished the question for Loki; he replied with a small, hesitant nod. “There was an attack of shadow creatures on Times Square. We stopped it, but you were hurt—“

“—Is Thor alright?” Fear overwhelmed the question; before Theo could stop him, Loki tried to sit up, only to collapse back onto the bed with a sharp groan, eyes wrenched shut and face twisted in distress as he clutched his injured side. 

“Whoa whoa — Thor is safe!” Theo blurted out, eyes wide and her own heart racing in her chest. She swooped up from her chair and sat on the edge of the bed, lightly pressing down on Loki’s shoulders with just enough pressure so he’d focus on her without injuring him; she barely bit back the wince from the sudden pressure against her bruised hand.

“Thor—“

“Thor is safe,” Theo repeated firmly, locking eyes with Loki. "He was off-planet when it happened. He’s on his way back and will be here as soon as he can.”

After a beat, Loki relaxed slightly beneath her touch and his breathing calmed. Even though he still looked like he was pretty shaken up, at least he wasn’t about to try and bolt on her.

“You need to take it easy and stay in bed,” Theo continued, “You only got out of surgery a few hours ago; trying to move around too much will only aggravate your injuries.”

“… Why don’t I—”

“—Remember? It’s just the anesthesia from surgery wearing off,” Theo reassured, keeping her concerns about his concussion to herself. The last thing either of them needed was to freak Loki out any further. “It can make you temporarily forget things, but that’s normal; the memories will come back once it’s all out of your system.”

Loki closed his eyes; his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly, his jaw muscles tensing in anxious restraint.

“Hey,” Theo caught Loki’s attention once more by smoothing back his hair. With her other hand, she pried his non-braced hand away from his side, laying it next and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I know it’s a lot to process, but you’re safe, Thor’s safe, and he’s going to be here soon. Until then, I’m going to stay with you, okay?”

Though the fear remained in Loki’s eyes, he let out a trembling breath and weakly nodded. 

The sound of the door opening drew both Theo and Loki’s attention, turning towards the entrance just in time for a nurse to walk in. She held a bag filled with clear liquid, labeled with details regarding the contents inside – one of the components Theo recognized as potent pain medicine. 

With a final squeeze of Loki’s hand, Theo released her grip and returned to her chair, giving the nurse space to work. Loki watched Theo, his lips pressed into a thin line and brows slightly pinched. If Theo didn’t know better, she’d have thought Loki seemed a bit upset that she let go. 

Then again, he wasn’t exactly feeling like himself, so maybe he was upset.

The nurse went through her routine questions while disconnecting an empty fluid bag with an identical label and replacing it with the fresh bag. Loki answered with short, wary replies — a sharp departure from his usual demeanor— but he correctly answered the questions meant to test his cognitive function, so that was a good thing. Once the new bag of fluids had been hooked up, the nurse ensured everything was in its proper place before departing. 

Once the door clicked shut, Theo turned back to Loki, who had returned to watching Theo with a guarded, yet dazed expression.

“You alright?”

”M’m quite alright,” Loki’s attempt to feign confidence failed, betrayed by his shaky inhale and quivering lower lip. “Why would I not be?”

“Waking up in the hospital can feel pretty overwhelming for anyone, especially if the person you want to have with you isn’t able to be there.” Theo offered what she hoped was a soft, reassuring smile. “It’s okay if you’re anxious or upset. You don’t have to put on a brave face.”

Loki exhaled sharply. “How long until Thor will be here?” His voice strained at the question, while the muscles in his jaw tensed even further.

“He thinks it’ll be two days before they’re back— But you won’t be alone — I’m going to stay with you until Thor’s back, okay?” She reminded Loki, hoping it would at least placate him for the moment. “Val’s flying out tomorrow morning and should be here in the afternoon as well.”

“Val’s coming?” Despite mumbling, his surprise came through crystal clear.

“Yeah,” Theo rested her other hand atop Loki’s, effectively enveloping his hand within hers. Though his palm had begun to absorb some of her warmth, the back of his hand remained frigid. “We‘ll both be here. And until Thor gets back, we can FaceTime him whenever you want.”

Within the cocoon of Theo’s touch, Loki‘s hand gradually shifted, turning until his fingers could slip themselves between Theo’s. The simple movement seemed like it took all of his effort; his attempt to squeeze Theo’s hand came off as little more than a twitch of his fingers. The tense muscles in his expression softened as his eyes drifted shut, and the rise and fall of his chest began to slow. 

Other than the occasional brush of her thumb across the side of his hand, Theo didn’t dare move until she knew Loki was well and truly asleep — he needed the rest in order to heal, and it seemed like he needed the reassurance that he wouldn’t be alone; having the presence of touch went a long way towards giving the comfort it seemed like he needed.

After a few minutes, the tension had evaporated from Loki’s expression; paired with his even, slow breaths, all signs pointed to Loki being well and truly asleep. 

By that point, the cold that originally plagued Loki had vanished, replaced by the warmth from Theo’s skin; the thought stirred a certain softness within Theo, bringing a small smile to her face.

She slipped her hands from Loki’s and reached up, lightly caressing his face with the back of her fingers in what was half a gesture of comfort, and half a temperature check; a similar chill lingered, but she could do something about that.

Theo silently rose to her feet. She crept over to the recliner where she set out the extra bedding, retrieving the blanket. As she unfolded the blanket, Theo paused for a moment, rubbing the pad of her thumb along the plush, charcoal-colored material. One side of the blanket was made of velour, while the other side was a thick, shaggy fleece, similar to a faux fur in length but different in texture — it was far softer than any faux fur Theo had seen. The combination gave the blanket a surprising heft to it, which was perfect for staving off any cold or chill.

Spreading the blanket across the bed, Theo remained careful not to wake Loki in the process. She pulled the fabric up around his neck and shoulders so only his head remained visible, then retrieved one of the hospital’s blankets from a nearby drawer and carefully draped it to create a sort of hood around his head.

For good measure, Theo snuck over to the room’s thermostat and cranked up the heat; even if it meant she’d be sweating, it was a small price to pay for Loki’s comfort. 

The final product was almost amusing: Loki, so fully tucked in beneath blankets that only his face remained visible amidst a sea of fleece. If someone were to quickly glance at him, they might not see the oxygen tubing that sat beneath his nose, which had become the only visible medical device because of how thoroughly he was covered up. Without being able to see the catheters, bandages, and monitors, he no longer looked like he barely survived; instead, he simply looked exhausted.

With nothing else to do, she slouched back in her chair, idly twirling the end of her braid with one hand as she stared off into nothing. The longer she sat, the harder she fought not to dwell on the glimpses of the handler that did this and then escaped…After all, she could let her imagination run away with possibilities, but nothing her mind could conjure would get her any closer to learning the truth. Besides, the vague familiarities were at best coincidences, and at worst tricks of her mind.

A faint grunt brought Theo back to the present. In his sleep, Loki grimaced, only for it to smooth out a moment later. 

Was he in pain, or dreaming?

Theo watched his expression for signs that might point her in one direction or another, but Loki’s stillness made her think that whatever it was, it must have passed. 

Left alone with her restless thoughts, Theo only made it a few minutes before she admitted to herself that if didn’t find something to prevent her from overanalyzing every little detail of what transpired, she was going to lose her mind. She needed a distraction.

In the stack of books Theo brought with her, one caught her eye: The Little Prince. A children’s book among high fantasies, dwarfed in size by the other books, and with a light, minimal design on the book’s spine that contrasted the ornate, dark artwork adorning the others, the French novella quite literally stood out in just about every way imaginable…

… And it was just what Theo wanted.

After extracting the text from beneath a stack of Robert Jordan, Brandon Sanderson, and Joe Abercrombie, Theo settled back into her seat, cast a charm to make what essentially was a book light, and opened the book to the first page.

The familiar illustrations of a snake wrapped around a mouse (preparing to swallow it), the outline of the snake that ate an elephant, and the drawing of the elephant inside the snake greeted Theo like an old friend, lamenting the lack of imagination and general disillusionment with adults.

Theo could practically recite the book from memory, having read it countless times throughout her life. Beyond serving as an effective distraction when Theo needed to redirect her thoughts, the book offered enough depth that she still found something new to ponder with each additional readthrough, but wasn’t so heavy that she had to set aside time to read, fully investing her attention and avoiding distractions so she didn’t miss crucial information.

That night, it was exactly what she needed.

When will it all end?  When will it all end? One of you moves,  the others follow you

Thor’s prediction about a long night did not come to fruition… At least, not because of Loki. 

Though Loki woke up a couple more times, it was because a nurse needed to complete a neuro check to make sure his concussion wasn’t worse than they initially believed. Every couple hours, they woke him up long enough to ask a few questions and have him perform a few tasks, but he always fell back asleep immediately after they finished. If he noticed Theo sitting there, he didn’t say or do anything.

Theo, however, remained wide awake the entire night, jumping at every slight rustle of blankets or unexpected noise from Loki, in case it was the start of another panic. Each time the nurses woke Loki, Theo caught herself white-knuckling as she tugged on her braid, bracing for the worst.

In between, Theo’s mind spun with questions about who could have done this to him, troubling her to the extent that even if Loki was perfectly content and doing well, Theo wouldn’t have slept a wink.

Not long after the first signs of dawn crested over the horizon, a text came from Wanda.

“Want coffee or breakfast?”

Theo nearly jumped out of her seat at the vibration of her phone, but the message (and the offer) were a pleasant surprise after a long night. If she had any hope of being productive or useful, she’d certainly need all the caffeine she could get. 

A couple hours later, visiting hours began; not even a minute later, Wanda arrived with a giant paper cup labeled ‘shot in the dark’ and a paper bag containing a scone for Theo, and a mug with the words ‘London Fog’ scribbled on the side for herself.

“You look exhausted,” Wanda remarked, handing Theo her drink and the brown paper bag containing the scone. “Did you sleep?”

Theo nearly laughed out loud, but clapped her hand over her mouth before the sound could escape. “That obvious, huh?”

“Explains why you wanted caffeine to go with your caffeine - seriously, drip coffee with multiple shots of espresso added in?” Wanda quietly teased as she set Theo’s unused pillow aside, then settled in on the couch. “Do you hate yourself?”

“It got me through med school and residency, and it’s going to get me through until Thor gets back,” Theo joked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Did he sleep?” She tilted her head towards Loki, who hadn’t stirred in the thirty minutes since the last neuro check.

Theo sighed. “More than I did, but I don’t know how restful it was. They had to wake him up every couple hours and do tests to make sure his concussion wasn’t worse than initially thought,” she said. “It didn’t help that he couldn’t remember what happened, so there were a couple times where he woke up and freaked out because Thor wasn’t there - we ended up FaceTiming Thor at one point because he was so freaked out. It hit a point where every time they came in to wake him up, I had Thor’s info pulled up in case we needed to call him.” 

“…So he kept you awake?”

“I knew that was a possibility when I agreed to be here,” Theo half-heartedly shrugged. “I don’t think I would have slept much anyway, though.”

Wanda frowned. “Why not?”

“A couple things happened yesterday,” Theo stole a glance at Loki, checking to make sure the conversation hadn’t woken him up. “Now’s not the time to talk about it, though”

Wanda’s gaze followed, pausing for a moment when it landed on Loki. She hummed, flecks of gold in her irises glittering as she narrowed her eyes. “Something with…?”

Yes. “Eh…” Theo shook her head. “…More the person who did this to him.” 

“It was a handler, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah—“ Theo drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, buying herself a moment to gather her thoughts. “I’ve seen plenty of shadow creatures, but I’ve never seen these people. And to have them appear twice in such a short time period…”

“Something bigger is at play,” Wanda concluded.

“Yeah, and if they can do this to a god,” Theo gestured at Loki, who slept like the dead, “what does that mean for the rest of us?”

I never thought I would wake up in bed Watching the world coming down on my head I’d sleep like a dog if you would never have said This is the world coming down on your head I’m not gonna swallow the lie that I’m fed ‘Cause I want the world coming down on my head I’m just gonna find out you’re already dead And I was the world coming down on your head…

——

Author’s note: oh hey, it has been *checks calendar* uh, a lot longer than I initially expected this to take! Thanks for your patience as I’ve continued to plug away on this story amidst a hectic year (for so many reasons). I work on this story pretty much every day, although I am not one to write in order so it’s not always working on the next chapter… All of this to say, even if I vanish for a while, it’s not for lack of inspiration! After three years of these two living rent-free in my head, I think they’re here for good, and I need to finish this story so help me god.  It’s just that life is busy and I’m squeezing in writing/making sure plot points line up whenever I can. I also spend more time than I probably should looking for the perfect songs for each chapter, since I want them not only to connect to the scenes themselves, but the larger narrative and have little Easter eggs/hints about what’s to come 😏

I���m not going to put a date on when the next chapter is coming since I think I’ve written and rewritten chunks of it about a dozen times (lol), but it is well underway and you can look forward to both Loki and Theo POV, as well as lots of Loki/Theo interactions (I feel like we haven’t gotten much of those lately, but I promise they’re coming!!). 

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts/reactions/comments! If you liked it, I’d appreciate it if you'd reblog and share — I am a small tumblr, so my reach is limited... oh! and lmk if you want to be added to my tag list (since I'm a hilariously inconsistent poster these days)

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 20: Who Are Your Friends, Who Are Your Foes?

Summary: The newest addition of shadowy threats, it turns out, are not a one-off occurrence…  

Contents: Fight! Fight! Fight! Canon-typical combat/violence. injuries/Blood/battle whump.

Word Count: 5,422

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Who Are Your Friends? Who Are Your Foes?

Song: Past Life - Lydia

Well, barely made it downtown It's alright, it's alright I bet I met you in a past life But it's your word against mine While you listen to it all at night And while you feel your lungs stretching wide

Sooner or later, Theo knew it was bound to happen: she’d be pulled from the Emergency Department to fight.

She jokingly blamed it on one of the residents saying the ‘Q’ word - that it was a quiet night. The number one rule of working in Emergency Medicine was never point out if it was slow, because then you’d end up absolutely slammed…

… Not even twenty minutes later, an announcement overhead informed the department that all hands were on deck for a massive casualty event in Times Square.

Times Square.

What followed was a tidal wave of organized chaos, adrenaline coursing through everyone’s veins as they prepared for an onslaught of patients. Details were scarce, leaving the medical staff scrambling to ensure they were ready for any number of possibilities.

News of what caused the mass casualty event only reached the ED as they raced to the hangar in preparation of meeting the flight medics.

The shadow creatures were back, and they weren’t alone.

At the news, the ED residents and nurses looked to Theo with wide eyes and the color drained from their skin. Treating the injuries caused by shadow creatures had become more common, but the additional firepower, combined with a massive tourist trap? 

The fear in the air could have been cut with a knife.

As the only one who had seen shadow creatures up close and personal, the attention on Theo came as no surprise. Maybe it was her soccer captain days coming through, but it seemed like a pep-talk would go a long way to reassure her colleagues. So, in the brief moment of calm before the storm, Theo turned to address the group.

“Don’t let yourselves get carried away with imagining what’s out there—” Theo said, careful to keep her own nerves from showing, “—we can't control that. Our job is to help every single person who comes through our doors, as best as we can. They need your full time and attention; we can’t afford to let ourselves get distracted by what’s going on out there. You’ve treated mass casualties before, and you can do it now. Take a deep breath—“ she gestured to the others to take a measured, slow inhale, “— and remember that you’re here for a reason. You’ve got this, okay?”

Nervous exhales, quick head nods, and a few murmurs of agreement came from the group before they split up into assigned teams to make their final preparations.

“Well, A for effort,” Julie lightly teased, approaching Theo’s side and bumping her hip into Theo’s, “could have used a bit more hope and inspiration, though. Maybe something like ‘everything will be alright! The Avengers are on it!’ Or something like that?”

So maybe it wasn’t Theo’s best pep-talk, but it was better than nothing.

“I don’t want to promise anything I don’t know,” Theo turned to face Julie and stepped closer, lowering her voice. “Shadow creatures not being alone makes me nervous, and even with the Avengers fighting it could still get ugly.”

Almost as if on cue, a blur of red and gold zipped through the hangar, slowing down before dramatically flipping around to land in front of Theo. 

“Suit up, Rapunzel —“ The head of the iron man suit folded back; Tony’s brows furrowed and jaw set itself in a sharp line as he spoke.  “—we need all the help we can get.” 

The lack of quips only set Theo further on edge about what they were up against. As it was, Theo had barely been cleared to fight after overextending herself; the prospect of going into something so serious right away only made her more concerned. But there wasn’t a choice, because Tony wouldn’t be standing in front of her if there was. Ready or not, Theo had to fight. 

“Go,” Julie said, the teasing smile from earlier replaced by a face of stony determination as she nodded in agreement with Tony. “If you don’t, we’ll only have even more people to treat. We can handle it here.”

Theo let out a tense breath and gave a quick nod to Julie. “Thanks, Jules. I’ll jump back on once we get back.”

Returning her attention to Tony, Theo raised her left arm and snapped her fingers; at the sound, her scrubs vanished, replaced by the suit of armor carefully crafted by Tony and Shuri. “Ready?”

Tony nodded, his suit reassembling itself to cover his head. “Hold on—“

Theo barely had the chance before Tony grabbed her and flew into the air, his blasters so close that Theo’s feet felt a strange rush of heat as they flew through the city.

Orange flickers of light reflected on the windows of skyscrapers, growing brighter and more intense as they drew near. Interspersed between booming explosions, shrieks of horror and pain echoed through the streets. 

“Hope you’re ready,” Tony said, rounding the corner to reveal the full scale of what they were up against.

Amidst a grid-lock of abandoned cars, explosions flashed throughout, leaving behind flames which roiled up into the night sky with relentless pace. The technicolor lights from the video billboards of the square cast an eerie glow onto the scene, looking like something out of some post-apocalyptic video game Yelena would play…

… or Astonia, on the night of the Massacre.

Theo shook her head, trying to forget the resemblance. She needed to focus, not get caught up in the past.

“Cap, what’s the latest?” Tony called out. He dropped Theo near the edge of the fight, then flew ahead into the fray.

“It’s a mix of shadow beasts, shadow handlers, and humans–” Steve replied between heavy breaths. “Haven’t found a source–”

Shadow handlers, also known as the people who made their debut at their Met Gala. Little progress had been made in regards to identifying who they were, where they came from, or their motive, so for the moment, they were referred to as “handlers.” Theo had some suspicions she kept to herself, however.

“—You bring Theo?” Sam flew overhead, distracting some of the fighters in the street from the newest arrivals.

“Reporting for duty,” Theo replied, conjuring her shadow blade while she assessed the scene to determine her first move. “What’s the plan?”

“Keep the fight contained!” Clint answered through the comms, “We’ve cleared the area, but we have to make sure the fight doesn’t spread.”

Theo barely ventured into the chaos before she came face to face with her first adversary. They clumsily swung at her with a metal pole, but Theo easily ducked beneath and knocked them to the ground, thrusting her blade straight through their chest without a second thought.

“Do they have anyone in the buildings?” Wanda asked, a crimson glow emanating from her hands as she manipulated the burnt-through shells of vehicles to create a makeshift barricade around the fighting.

“Negative.” Vision flew past Theo’s head, close enough for her hair to get swept up in the breeze; moments later, a motorcycle with someone on it went after him. Theo conjured a shimmering orb and hurled it at the motorcycle, setting the rider on fire.

“Alright, give me two seconds!” Theo held up a hand, a swirl of glistening black and white expanding out to create a translucent dome around the fight, shielding those outside from the carnage within. As the dome swelled into the air, Theo sensed an aura of vaguely familiar magic rapidly approaching from behind.

The moment the dome locked into place, Theo spun around and sliced through a handler who tried to ambush her from behind, dropping him to the ground in one swift motion.

“That’s why we needed her.” Nearby, Natasha snatched the weapon from an enemy operative, swiftly jerking it in a counter-maneuver to take them down.

“Don’t you dare overextend yourself,” Theo could literally hear Loki scowling through the comms at her. 

“I’ll be fine,” Theo scoffed, charging headfirst into the chaos. “Just– everyone try not to get too badly hurt, okay?

“That’s the plan!” Rhodes replied, zipping past as bullets sprayed around him.

Conjuring a second orb in her free hand, Theo darted between vehicles in search of her next target. She ran over the top of a truck and flipped over a group of shadow beasts who had cornered Peter, sending a series of small missiles out of the black and white orb before they could seriously injure him.

Peter gawked as the entire group froze, then dropped to the ground in a heap. He looked up to find Theo behind them and cheered. “Oh – hey Theo! Good to see you!”

Already bounding ahead to find her next target, Theo still chuckled and shook her head. She called back over her shoulder, “You too, kid, but stay focused - we’ll talk later!” 

While Theo took down a pair of shadow beasts, she glanced up and noticed that a crowd of onlookers gathered around the outside edges of the dome, cell phones drawn and presumably recording the showdown, broadcasting the horror for all the world to see. If Theo hadn’t had her hands full trying to stem the seemingly endless flow attackers, she’d have considered telling them to get away; after all, if her barricade fell, they’d be royally fucked.

Then again, if they were willing to endanger themselves for viral content, maybe they deserved the consequences. 

As someone hurled an explosive towards Theo, she leapt over an abandoned taxi to take cover, barely manning to crouch down before a shockwave blew out the vehicle’s glass, shards  raining down around her. 

At that same moment, Loki dove out of the way of a different explosion, somersaulting through the momentum and landing in a similar, crouched position. He conjured a pair of short swords, then dipped his chin at Theo in a sort of greeting. “How are you feeling?” 

“I feel great,” she smirked at him, readying her blade for whoever attacked her next. “Downright peachy, even.”

Two handlers, each with a pair of shadow beasts, careened into sight from opposite sides, targeting the pair of sorcerers. 

“Perhaps I should not have told the others you weren’t yet in fighting shape.” Loki wryly commented, slicing through the shadow beast in front of him with a flourish.

“I was cleared to fight— you know that,” Theo rolled her eyes, firing off a series of cosmic energy bolts at the pair of shadow beasts in front of her. “You don’t get to decide when I’m benched.”

Loki scoffed. “I simply assumed you would prefer to remain in the infirmary, given the choice.” He cast an illusion to distract the remaining shadow beasts and handlers, then teleported behind a handler and slit their throat with his dagger.

Likewise, Theo capitalized on the illusion and dissolved into shadow, transporting herself to right in front of the remaining handler. She reappeared only inches from the remaining handler, watching the sheer terror overcome them as she reached one hand out to rest on their chest, administering the touch of death. The handler dropped to the ground with a muffled thump. “I’d much rather make the choice for myself, thanks.”

“Your decisions result in harm to yourself,” Loki retorted with a scowl. He conjured a dagger and hurled it at an enemy, hitting them right between the eyes and killing them in the spot. 

A surge of irritation coursed through Theo. “My decisions save lives,” she gritted out in between slashes of her blade at another beast trying to attack her, “Which, may I remind you, is my fucking job.”

Though fully entrenched in a duel of his own, Loki still glared at Theo. “Not at the expense of your own.”

The retort caught Theo off guard, and she faltered; Loki, however, continued on as if everything was normal. He fought as if he were dancing, each swing and each step fluid and agile. With the way the smoke moved around him and the glow of the city lights reflected off him, he looked every bit the mighty god he was. 

What did he think—  that she couldn’t defend herself? That she was just a stupid, fragile little Midgardian, not fit for the title of Avenger? 

Reeling from the implications, Theo ran off, abandoning Loki in the process. His assistance wasn’t necessary, and if he believed that Theo needed his protection, then there was no way he’d have trouble defending himself. If anything, Theo needed to prove that she was, in fact, worthy of her place on the team, which meant diving into another fight.

Who are you trying to be It's alright, it's alright Cause it's in the stories and stay with me's And in between the sheets So while you're here and while it's right now Can you feel them all coming out?

Amidst the smoke and fire, Theo’s eyes scanned the area as she planned her next move; however, something at the edge of the dome caught her attention.

The crowd had multiplied exponentially, shoving cell phone cameras and professional cameras up against the barrier to try and capture a slice of the action. That wasn’t all, though — amongst the spectators, Theo spotted a familiar figure, with blonde hair and a navy suit that fit so perfectly it had to have been sewn onto him: Chris.

Theo hadn’t seen him since he unceremoniously dumped her over voicemail, and frankly had no interest in seeing him; however, that wasn’t the worst part. 

Next to him was a woman Theo vaguely recognized, only because she was starring opposite of Chris in the film he was shooting when he and Theo broke up. In the one or two times Theo met her, she seemed nice enough, but something about the way Chris acted when she was around seemed… odd. At the time, Theo just assumed it had to do with being co-stars. But in that moment, Theo saw Chris’s arm wrapped protectively around the brunette, and how the woman adoringly gazed up at him. She watched from a distance, frozen in place, as the brunette cupped Chris’s chin, turning his attention towards her and kissing him, right there in front of everyone.

Amplified by the adrenaline of combat and Loki’s condescension, the sight set off a surge of searing fury that exploded inside Theo, lighting her veins on fire with a level of intensity that threatened to consume her, so much that for a moment, she considered dissolving the barrier just so the spectators might learn their lesson… if Chris happened to suffer as a result, well… He was the one who didn’t evacuate from a battlefield. 

Yet, she didn’t dissolve the barrier. Had she done so, she’d not only be responsible for those deaths, but she’d have to pretend that she wasn’t powerful enough to keep the barrier up, which would only confirm Loki’s belief that she was a weak little Midgardian. 

Obscured by the smoke, no one from the crowd seemed to notice Theo as she stood there, barely ignoring the devil on her shoulder, which was likely for the best.

Unfortunately, the attackers had noticed, and took advantage of the lapse in focus; Theo turned around just in time to get punched in the face. Her head whipped to the side, biting her cheek as her jaw clamped shut in shock.

Reeling backwards, Theo ignored her watering eyes as she spit out a mouthful of blood. With a snarl, Theo charged in and took a swing of her own. Pain shot through her knuckles as she connected with their jaw, their head snapping to the side from the force.

Sure, she could have killed this guy with a spell or a shadow blade, but Theo needed to channel her anger into something productive. 

Dodging the second punch thrown her way, Theo ducked down and swept her feet around, dropping her opponent flat on his back. On the way down, he grabbed hold of her leg and yanked her off balance in an attempt to take control of the fight.

Instead, Theo leveraged the momentum of her fall and slammed her elbow into his groin, incapacitating him long enough for her to regain her footing and land another painful, but solid punch to the head, knocking him out.

Only then did she conjure her blade, slowly dragging it across his jugular in a cold, measured execution that contrasted the searing anger in every cell of her being.

Once she got back on her feet, Theo shook herself out and re-conjured her shadow blade before charging towards another group of fighters. Moving with deadly precision, she sliced into half the group in rapid succession, black and white flames erupting from her blade and spreading to other fighters nearby. 

The screams of pain from their flesh burning could barely be heard over the pounding of her heart in her ears and her own breathing; even if she could have heard them, she was too angry to care. 

She spun around, launching constellations of stars at other enemies to incapacitate them. Teleporting behind another handler, Theo wasted no time dropping them with a clean slash to the throat, using the vehicles around them to obscure her from public view. 

For a moment, Theo almost felt like she was back in Aneterra, taking out one of the Oblivinite storehouses. However, instead of abandoned warehouses in the bowels of a ruined city, she was on full display in the middle of Times Square, and she wasn’t torching everything in sight at the same time.

Although at that moment, she wouldn’t have minded torching everything in sight.

Gunshots rang out in quick succession, reminding Theo to keep moving. Hiding behind another burnt-up car, Theo glanced around in an attempt to figure out her next move. Behind an overturned delivery van, she spotted Yelena, grabbing her arm with a grimace.

Theo darted across the gap, diving behind the vehicle where Yelena took shelter just as another barrage of gun shots filled the air.

“What happened?” Theo demanded, already reaching for Yelena’s upper arm.

“Nothing, it’s fine.” Yelena gave a sharp head shake and scowled. “Go fight.”

“I have two functioning eyes and can tell you’re full of shit.” Theo challenged, raising a brow at the younger widow. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it and you can get back out there.”

“I got hit by a shot,” Yelena shook her head a second time. “Really, no biggie.” 

“Here —” Theo gestured for Yelena to remove her hand from her arm. “—Let me see.”

With a begrudging sigh, Yelena reluctantly moved her hand away from the injury.

When blood immediately dripped from the wound, Theo wasted no time pressing both hands to the injury in an attempt to stop the bleeding. She focused her energy, white runes making her way beneath Theo’s palm as the magic dissolved the bullet, then stitched Yelena’s flesh back together.

“What happened to you?” Yelena peered at Theo’s face as she worked, the light of the billboards and flames illuminating the area around them.

“I got distracted and punched in the face. It’s not a big deal,” Theo shrugged, lifting her gaze from the wound to scan the area for additional threats. 

“Are you going to heal yourself?” Yelena questioned, eyes darting between Theo’s face and her glowing white hand.

“Can’t - it’s like a surgeon can’t operate on themselves. It looks worse than it feels though,” Theo replied absentmindedly, watching as the last bits of Yelena’s skin closed up. “Alright, you’re set. Now go fuck some people up.”

“Thanks!” Yelena took off, almost gleeful as she launched herself back into the fight.

If only Theo enjoyed the absolute insanity of combat like Yelena did… Then again, that was probably what made Yelena such a great assassin. She downright thrived in environments like that.

Rolling her shoulders a couple times, Theo embraced the opportunity provided by her relatively shielded location to catch a breath and regain her focus; once she felt ready, she got back on her feet and followed Yelena’s lead.

I bet I met you in a past life And do you travel alone What're you living like? Go on, go on, well What're you thinking about  On those late nights? And when you listen in close,  What's it sound like?

After what felt like a lifetime of fighting with everything she had in her, Theo could have sworn they’d finally started to make progress when a message came through the comms.

“I need help—” Bucky choked out, his voice crackling through the intercom, “—Loki’s down!”

Somehow, all it took was two simple words for Theo’s anger to vanish, while something deeply unsettling replaced it, twisting frantically in her gut.

“I’m fine!” Loki groaned, though the way his words slightly slurred didn’t help his case.

“Bullshit,” Bucky retorted, “You can’t even walk!”

Theo searched around frantically, the smoke from cars on fire obscuring more and more of her vision. “Where are you?”

“I can heal mysel—” Loki weakly tried to butt in, but Bucky was louder. “—By the MTV screen!”

Without a second thought, Theo teleported herself over to the area, then sprinted towards the sound of two men bickering. She rounded the corner of a burned-out vehicle husk, her feet stuttering as she came to a sudden halt.

Loki sat on the ground, clutching his side as he leaned against the dingy steel frame of what once had been a car. Sitting might have been a generous term; if anything, it looked more like he had been propped up against the car by Bucky, who had both hands pressed against Loki’s thigh in an attempt to stop some of the bleeding. Loki looked out at the world from beneath heavy eyelids, his head slightly listing from side to side as he looked at Bucky.  All the color had drained from his skin, appearing almost translucent beneath the smoky grime all over his body. Despite gritting his teeth, he breathed as though he’d run a marathon - short, quick bursts of breath that were shallow at best. Around him, discolored pavement reflected back the lights of the billboards; with a shudder, Theo realized it was likely his blood that stained the ground. 

Theo dropped to her knees, scouring Loki’s body for other signs of injury. A large gash crossed over Loki’s temple and across his forehead, in addition to whatever injury Loki covered with his hands and the wound Bucky applied pressure to. While she looked him over, she pressed a finger to his wrist; finding only a faint, yet frenetic pulse, Theo cursed under her breath, then reached up to feel for his pulse in the crook of his neck. When the result proved to be similar, she began to pry Loki’s hand from his side so she could see the wound.

“I do not require your assistance,” Loki hissed, glaring at her as she worked. His normally sharp, sea-glass green eyes struggled to focus, taking on a sort of glassiness. “I will be fine.”

“There’s no way you’re healing this on your own,” Theo replied, swatting away Loki’s hands when he clunaily tried to put them back over the wound. Just a quick glance was enough to determine that the side wound likely contributed to most of the blood around them, so Theo took over placing pressure on the injury. “—especially not in this state.”

“You’ve no idea of my capabilities,” Loki attempted a protest, but it came out as more of a mumble.

Next to Theo, Bucky rolled his eyes; Clearly Theo wasn’t the only one who didn’t buy Loki’s argument whatsoever.

“Generally speaking, no I don’t, but right now I have a pretty damn good idea what you can and can’t do.” Theo muttered, ignoring Loki‘s scowl as she pressed a bit harder on the side wound. At least by leaning in on the snark, it was easier to hide the rapidly swelling worry in her chest. “Seriously, Casper has a better complexion than you do. How did this happen?” 

“One of those shadow bastards,” Loki huffed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. 

The movement shifted his weight off balance; he listed towards the right, torso sliding over until he started to tip—

Theo‘a hand shot out, catching Loki’s shoulder before he hit the ground. 

At the sudden change of position, Loki’s eyes flew open with surprise. Strangely, he didn’t protest as Theo eased him down to the ground, then nudged him to draw his uninjured leg up and bend his knee.

“A claw? A bite? I need more than that,” Theo said, before pressing on her comm to activate it. “I need medics for an evac by the MTV sign as soon as possible - note that the area is not yet secured.”

“Neither,” Loki weakly replied. ”They looked to be one of the beings from the gala, but their attire differed from the others. Struck me with two blades.”

Shit.

Most of the handlers Theo had encountered throughout the fight hadn’t been anywhere near the level of challenge that the very first handler had been. What if there was some form of hierarchy, and Loki happened to come into contact with one of the more powerful fighters— would they be focused on something else? Or, like the handler from the Met Gala, use the opportunity to ambush Theo?

Theo lifted her head, frantically searching for any sign that the person who did this to Loki was in their proximity.

“Medic is in transit, eta 3 minutes.” A voice came through the comms, but the update offered barely any relief. With wounds like Loki’s, time was of the essence - it wasn’t just about stopping the bleeding, but about replenishing the blood that had already been lost. He needed surgery to properly close the wounds and assess for possible organ damage, particularly in the case of the side wound. 

Fuck it— Theo needed to heal him, even if she wasn’t sure she had enough energy to do so. Loki could be salty about it later.

Theo focused her attention, delicate white runes revealing themselves on her skin as a white glow emanated from beneath her hands. She closed her eyes, willing her magic into Loki’s wound. The injury cut deep enough that if he had been a random human, he would have been long-dead. She set about stemming the blood loss through connecting the major veins that had been severed, her head throbbing more and more from every connection she made.

“Stop–” Loki commanded with a surprising ferocity, tugging one of Theo’s hands away from his injury.

It wasn’t until the flow of her magic had been interrupted that Theo noticed a wet, sticky warmth beneath her nose and tasted iron in her mouth. “Damn,” Theo muttered, wiping her nosebleed on her sleeve before she brought her hand back and reapplied pressure to his side.

“Do not dare incapacitate yourself for me.” Loki glared at Theo, though in his weakened state it wasn’t exactly threatening.

“Loki, my job is to make sure people don’t die, and right now, you’re dying,” Theo countered, “You’re literally going into shock from blood loss - you’re so pale you’re translucent, your eyes are glassy, you’re struggling to stay upright, you’re cold and clammy, you’re hyperventilating— between giving myself a migraine and having you bleed out in the middle of Times Square, I don’t even need to think about what my decision is going to be, and you’re in no shape to stop me.”

Before Loki could muster up a response, pounding footsteps and the squeaking wheels of a stretched echoed out amidst the fighting. Theo turned her attention towards the sound to find a team of medics, accompanied by Natasha, approaching the group. 

“Thank fucking god,” Theo whispered, more to herself than anything. She gathered herself as best she could while the medics closed the final gap; as soon as they arrived, Theo skipped any formal greeting so that they could complete the handoff report and get Loki out of there as soon as possible. 

Yet, right before Theo finished explaining what she managed to heal with magic to the medics, the commotion of a new fight broke out nearby. 

The additional chaos drew Loki’s limited attention away from the group hovering around him, though everyone else remained focused on his injuries.

“—Managed to close–”

“—There–” Loki interrupted, trying to sit up and point toward the fighting, only for a medic to place one hand on his chest and stop him.  “—That’s the one–”

Startled by Loki’s claim, Theo stopped mid-sentence and whipped around to see for herself.

Her blood, once boiling with fury, turned to ice…

… Fighting Bucky was someone clad in attire similar to the person Theo killed at the Met Gala; however, the cloak seemed a bit shorter, the octarine eyes from before were absent, and onyx hair fell in front of the person’s face as they fought. The person moved with a hauntingly familiar sort of grace that Theo hadn’t seen in a long time, countering Bucky’s attacks with nimble, agile steps and maneuvers that made one of the world’s most deadly assassins look like a lumbering fool in comparison.

No, it wasn’t–

“Take over, I’m going after them.” Theo commanded. She didn’t look back or wait for a reaction before she launched herself in the direction of the fight. Her heart pounded in her ears once more as she charged forward, inserting herself into the action by blocking a slash aimed at Bucky with her own shadow blade. 

A glint of amethyst flashed beneath the hood of the cloak as the person froze; Theo took advantage of the pause and twisted her wrist around, knocking her opponent’s blade to the ground. 

“Who are you?” Theo demanded, shifting into an offensive stance as she readied herself to attack. 

The handler mirrored Theo’s movement, though without the confidence or recklessness of the being that Theo previously fought. For a moment, the lights from flashing billboards and fires left in the wake of fighting illuminated the bottom half of the person’s face, and Theo’s pulse quickened.

Their mouth hung slightly agape, lips painted a deep crimson that contrasted ivory skin; whoever it was, they seemed surprised by Theo’s appearance, which only raised more questions. 

“No,” They whispered, their voice cracking at the end. Chest heaving, they took one halting step back, then another–

— and broke into a sprint in the opposite direction.

Theo gave chase, a bloodhound after a fox in the night. Her target darted between other fighters, using magic to shove burning car frames and other obstacles in Theo’s way, but Theo used her own magic to clear the path once more. 

The other person came to a sudden halt in the middle of the square. Burning cars and neon lights lit the area behind them, casting them as a silhouette amidst an apocalyptic scene. They turned back, facing Theo as she began to close the distance. Theo picked up her pace, locked onto her target–

—but in a flash of swirling runes, the other person vanished into the night, and with them, the remaining adversaries disappeared.

Theo slowed down to a jog, stopping only when she arrived at the space abandoned by the handler. She bent forward, resting her hands on her knees as she caught her breath and looked around, even though her gut told her it was pointless – whoever it was, they were gone.

“Fuck!” Theo snarled at no one and threw her blade on the ground. She covered her face with both hands and scrubbed her skin, trying to contain her frustration before it raised too many eyebrows. 

She should have been happy that the fight was over. No more casualties, no more injuries, they could clean up and repair the damage… but she wasn’t. If anything, it only set her off even more.

Because in their wake, all the shadow handler left were more questions and a sinking pit of dread where Theo’s heart would normally be.

With two cracks in my skull I can see the moon laying real low So when you lay in bed Do you smile about who you're laying with? Are you weak in your knees? I don't give a shit, you're coming out with me You're better than you've ever known Darling, who are your friends? Who are your foes?

—————

Author’s Note: *walks in two months late with Starbucks and  a chapter update* hi everyone — it has been a HOT minute! I’m still here and still writing this story… the tl;dr version is I had a very different plan for this chapter but just couldn’t get it right, so I took a step back to figure out why and I realized that a few things needed to happen in a different order, which required a moderate amount of work on the back end… however! I am much happier with the result and hopefully y’all will enjoy it as well. 

Originally, I hoped to post this yesterday for the one and only @sarahscribbles birthday, but of course my brain wouldn’t cooperate… but we made it (eventually)!  Go wish Sarah a happy belated birthday, and check out her fics if you haven’t already - she’s a wonderful Loki writer who deserves lots of love and celebration! 

Next chapter will come much sooner, I promise - I have most of it already written! Not committing to a date (yet), but I imagine in the next week or two it should be posted. 

As always, I love to hear your thoughts and reactions! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated. 

[buckyywiththegoodhair]

Can we just fangirl together over WEMtbB together? Okay? Okay. For reals, your and Cass' writing is ADDICTING and I adore you both ♡

YES 👏🏽  WE 👏🏽  CAN 👏🏽   If anyone is in need of an extremely well-written story that will make you feel all the feels, you should definitely check this one out! I love it so much, even though it makes my heart ache on the regular. Seriously, you won’t regret reading it and bae, you so right. Her writing is addicting so be prepared to stay up for hours reading it because that’s what I end up doing every time I find the time to do some reading 😁 

When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I Just Want You to Know Who I Am) by @cassiopeiassky

[iwillbeinmynest]

More like...

When a WIP/fic updates after some radio silence

The readers:

The writers:

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 19: Would You Count on Me?

Summary: When Theo’s down and out, Loki recruits the other Avengers to help lift her back up. 

Contents: Similar to the last chapter, descriptions of vomiting in relation to describing a migraine. Canon typical injury descriptions. Some very (very) brief mentions of IV/needles? Soft moments and fluff.

Word Count: 6,296

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Easy Money - Lights

I expect you on your worst behavior I am a giver but you know I'm not a taker, yeah When you're riding in the night, I'll be shotgun, yeah Said you're looking for a friend, well you got one, yeah Until the last dollar Until the last dollar

Morning came far too quickly.

Even a pleasant, dreamless sleep for a few hours could not replenish Loki’s energy in the same way a full night of rest could. Yet, waking up with Theo still tangled up around him eased a surprising amount of his irascibility at his persistent insomnia.

In the soft morning light filtering in through the bedroom window, Loki took the opportunity to reassess Theo’s condition. 

Though it seemed that a night spent next to Loki with his reduced temperature helped, Theo still felt far too warm. Remnants of tear tracks lingered on fever-flushed cheeks, while her eyelids remained red and swollen with irritation. An indigo bruise, likely from the prior evening’s combat, had appeared overnight along the hollow of her cheek. It was relatively small - a bit larger than a knuckle, by Loki’s estimate - but the stark contrast of the bruise versus Theo’s gaunt complexion gave the impression that it was quite the blow. 

All in all, Theo looked as if she could sleep for a year and it still would not be enough to feel rejuvenated. 

Theo obviously needed a healer, yet Loki’s previous attempts to convince her had not proved fruitful; whether stubborn pride or an impaired mind from the illness caused such profound refusal, Loki was not sure. 

Maximoff might have more success; she possessed a keen sense for how to approach individuals in a rather vulnerable state. 

Enlisting Maximoff’s help, however, meant explaining why Theo was in Loki’s bedchamber and not her own. And though Loki trusted that Maximoff would not focus on the oddity of the circumstances, he did not trust that anyone else who caught wind of the situation would be so kind.

Briefly, the idea of returning Theo to her quarters before seeking Maximoff’s assistance came to mind. After considering the logistics, Loki quickly dismissed the idea; if he brought her back without waking her, she might become distressed upon waking in the location she specifically requested to avoid for the night. To gain Theo’s consent to return to her quarters, Loki would need to wake her, and that raised the possibility of an awkward conversation about why they laid with each other. Not to mention the possibility she would reject the proposal, which would mean Loki had roused her for nothing.

Upon concluding that Maximoff’s assistance would be necessary, Loki carefully untangled himself from Theo and slipped from the bed. After dressing for the day, he fixed the bedcovers on his side of the bed to give the impression Theo slept alone, then retrieved a pillow to place on the sofa in his great room. 

In his great room, he set the pillow at one end of the sofa, then laid atop it and conjured a blanket to cover himself with, only to uncover himself and leave the items there to imply he spent the night on the sofa. Even if Theo was no longer courting anyone, Loki did not want to risk the impression of any inappropriate or questionable behavior. His decision to spend the night with her would remain between the two of them.

With the stage set, Loki looked in on Theo one final time to ensure she hadn’t woken.  Seeing that she hadn’t stirred, Loki set off in search of Maximoff.

Knowing that Maximoff regularly took her breakfast around the present moment, that was Loki’s first destination - sure enough, Maximoff sat at the breakfast bar in her pajamas, halfway through a bowl of cereal as she looked over the morning paper. Her mobile sat in front of her as if she were expecting some sort of communication, but the screen remained dark.

Unfortunately, Maximoff was far from alone: Romanoff, Barnes, and Wilson also sat at the breakfast bar, all at varying points of their morning meals and routines. Romanoff and Wilson had dressed for the day, while Barnes sported a threadbare that he only wore for sleeping and had yet to tame his sleep-disheveled hair.

At the sight of Loki, Barnes managed a half-grunt of acknowledgement, while Wilson offered a wave and a short greeting. Romanoff, ever the vigilant assassin, studied him with a dissecting gaze that made Loki suspect she already knew Loki was not there for breakfast.

Maximoff, hearing the others, glanced up from the paper and spotted Loki. “Morning Lo—“

“Maximoff, I require your assistance.” Loki skipped the pleasantries, having little interest in anything social at the moment. 

Doing so, however, piqued everyone’s curiosity. Wilson sat up a bit taller in his seat. “Oh boy—“

“—What’s up?” Maximoff set the paper aside, giving Loki her full attention. Beside her, Romanoff glared at Wilson.

“It’s Theo.”

The soldiers shot each other an unreadable glance, Romanoff returned to studying Loki with her perpetually neutral, yet mildly suspicious gaze.

“What about Theo - is she alright?” Maximoff frowned, glancing down at her mobile and then returning her attention to Loki. “I texted her last night but she never got back to me.”

“She’s unwell, yet twice now she has refused my suggestions to see a healer.” Loki ran one hair through his hair, realizing as his fingers caught on a knot that he forgot to address his own tangled tresses. “I’m hoping you might talk some sense into her.”

“Care to elaborate?” Romanoff shot Loki an expectant glance, one meticulously groomed brow arching to emphasize her question.

“Vomiting, fever, chills, fatigue,” Loki rattled off the list of symptoms he observed, careful to keep a neutral tone. “I suspect some aches and pains, though she did not admit to it.”

“Why’d she tell you that she’s sick, but not Wanda?” Barnes, notably more awake than when Loki first arrived, narrowed his eyes at Loki. “She tells Wanda everything.”

“She didn’t tell me,” Loki flatly answered, mirroring Barnes’s stare. “I had been on my way to the sitting room when I heard a commotion in her quarters and investigated; the noise was Theo stumbling to her washroom to be ill - I found her hunched over her toilet.”

Maximoff hummed, sounding appropriately concerned. “When was this?”

“Last night.” 

“And you didn’t tell me then?” Maximoff practically leapt  to her feet, abandoning her breakfast on the countertop as she rounded the breakfast bar and broke into a stride.

“Wait—” Loki called to Maximoff, who had somehow nearly reached the corridor, “— Where are you going—“ 

“To check on her,” Maximoff replied over her shoulder, “obviously.”

“She is not in her quarters,” Loki warned, to which the Scarlet Witch stopped in her tracks and turned back to the him.

“If she isn’t there,” Romanoff asked, adopting a skeptical expression, “where is she?”

Loki sighed; he hadn’t wanted to explain this in front of a crowd, but it did not seem like he had much choice. He steeled himself for the sarcastic comments that his peers would undoubtedly make in response before he answered. “In mine.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, back up—“ Barnes interjected, “— why is she in your bed?”

“Because it was the only way I could convince her not to spend the night on her bathroom floor.” Loki dryly replied.

“You couldn’t convince her to go back to her own bed?” Wilson questioned, his suspicion clear in both tone and facial expression. “Aren’t you supposed to be a silver tongue or some shit?”

“The charm of a silver tongue requires that both parties are of sound mind—“ Loki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “— I suspect she was delirious with fever.”

“Enough, we’re going—“ Maximoff turned, starting down the hall without bothering to check whether or not Loki followed. 

A few rapid strides brought Loki alongside Maximoff, whose hurried pace was no match for Loki’s long legs. 

Mutters of “this I’ve gotta see,” along with scraping chair legs, came from behind as Barnes, Wilson, and Romanoff rose to their feet, catching up to the pair of sorcerers with a light jog.

Begrudgingly, Loki allowed everyone into his quarters. An audience as Maximoff tried to talk sense into Theo seemed a bit inappropriate, but Loki doubted that he could effectively make the case without additional teasing, and he lacked the patience for such asinine behavior. 

After allowing the others to step into the bedchamber, Loki followed and closed the door behind him. Audible, gasps and worried murmurs filled the air as the others saw Theo’s state for themselves.

In the time Loki had been away, Theo rolled over to the side of the bed with the waste bin, kicking some of the blankets off of herself and tangling others around her legs in the process. A sheen of sweat had taken up residence upon her brow, glittering in the morning sun. In the new position, the bruise upon her cheek looked as if a spotlight had been shone upon it. She appeared no less ill than before, and the evidence of the prior night’s tears remained fully on display. 

Were it not for the faintly visible rise and fall of her chest, it would have been easy to assume she was deceased.

“Damn,” Barnes’ prior amusement faded, color draining from his face as his eyes scanned over Theo’s appearance.

“She looks rough,” Wilson stated the obvious, his eyes wide and lips turned down at the sight.

“You see the reason for my concern.” It was the rare occasion where Loki did not relish being able to prove his point, as this involved the suffering of a friend. He hadn’t ever seen Theo come undone in such a manner, and even at that moment he had no desire to ever see it again. 

Meanwhile, Maximoff crouched down beside the bed, resting one hand on Theo’s shoulder. “Theo?”

Theo whimpered, shifting slightly before barely cracking one eye open. 

“Hey,” Maximoff offered a small, concerned smile, “heard you’re—“

The unmistakable sound of retching silenced Maximoff mid-sentence as Theo lurched toward the edge of the bed and buried her face into the waste bin.

“Oh, detka —“ Maximoff rubbed Theo’s back as Theo vomited yet again. How Theo had anything in her stomach to expel after her previous bouts of illness, Loki had no idea, but apparently something had been there.

In the midst of everything, Romanoff had taken a seat on the floor, steadying the waste bin with one hand while resting the other hand on Theo to ensure she did not fall out of bed.

A shaky sigh came from Theo, whose head still remained in the bin. She remained in place, body trembling from either chills or exertion, as if she thought the fit had passed but she was not ready to push it.

“Theo?” Maximoff tried again, continuing to rub Theo’s back.

“What?” Theo groaned, her voice notably quiet.

“You seem pretty sick…”

“It’s a migraine.” Theo hesitantly lifted her head from the bin, then listlessly rolled onto her back and covered her eyes with one arm. “Give it a couple days, it’ll pass.”

“You have a fever,” Romanoff pointed out,  “Migraines don’t cause fevers.”

“Mine do,” Theo muttered. 

Maximoff and Romanoff shared an uncertain glance, both turning to look at Loki for a moment before exchanging a second uncertain glance.

“If it takes a couple days to pass, does that mean Loki’s not getting his bed back?” Wilson broached the subject, diverting the conversation from concerns of Theo’s illness towards the much less significant matter of occupying Loki’s quarters.

Romanoff, Maximoff, and Loki all shot Wilson their most venomous glares in an attempt to silence him, lest he make matters worse. In response, Wilson’s eyes grew wider, only then realizing his error.

“Shit.” Theo pulled her arm away from her eyes, cracking them open just enough to take in her surroundings; with a wince, she closed them and returned her arm to its original position. “Forgot about that… Sorry.”

The latter part of her statement was obviously directed at Loki, even though Theo hadn’t actually looked at him; that being said, she hadn’t looked at anyone during the interaction, so it did not seem to be an attempt to ignore or avoid him.

“Give me a minute,” Theo pressed herself up to sit, her arms trembling with the effort required to the degree that the prospect of walking back to her quarters seemed absurd at best. “I’ll go back to my room…”

She turned to set both feet on the floor, drawing in a deep breath before she tried to stand—

— Key word tried, because had it not been for Romanoff’s proximity and lightning reflexes, Theo would have ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Instead, Romanoff caught Theo, gracefully steadying Theo while Romanoff rose to her feet. 

“Let’s not overdo it, Kotik,” Romanoff quietly tutted, easing Theo down to sit on the bed, with her back against the headboard to support her body. 

Face flushed crimson, Theo curled in on herself and wrenched her eyes shut. Her lower lip quivered as she drew in, then let out a shaky breath.

“Boys, out—“ Romanoff directed, pointing at the door as she narrowed her eyes at the trio. 

Barnes and Wilson, all too familiar with Romanoff’s threatening tone of voice, wasted no time making their exit. Loki, however, hesitated; after all, he had every right to remain. The outcome of this conversation impacted him. 

Romanoff glared at Loki, jutting her chin out towards the door, but Loki crossed his arms. 

“This is my bedchamber. And, might I remind you, I was the one who tended to her last night.” Loki quietly challenged, mirroring Romanoff’s glare.

“Nat, it’s fine,” Theo sniffed, half-heartedly wiping at her eyes. Romanoff turned to Theo, frowning while Theo continued her attempts to gather herself. “He’s right.”

Romanoff sighed disapprovingly, but relented, returning the rest of her attention back to the bed.

“Detka, I know you don’t want to, but you really need to go to the doctor,” Maximoff sat on the edge of the mattress and brushed a few loose strands of hair away from Theo’s face. “Please— what if the person who attacked you had poison on his blade or—“

“No,” Theo weakly shook her head, eyes glassy and her voice pleading as she looked at Maximoff, then Romanoff, and finally at Loki. “It’s my fault. I used too much magic.”

Oh.

Upon the revelation, Maximoff and Loki shared a knowing glance.

Overuse of one’s magic - a situation Loki had experienced a time or two in his life, and not one he was keen to repeat if he could help it. Not only was it horrendously unpleasant - each instance rendered him completely invalid for days on end — but the embarrassment that came from one’s weaknesses being on full display brought about a shame that to this day, Loki could not shake.

“It was stupid—“ Theo wiped her eyes and swallowed thickly. “—I’m sorry—“ 

“It’s alright,” Loki quickly reassured, forcing what he prayed was a comforting smile. “Maximoff and I are no strangers to the effects of overextending ourselves.”

“Yeah, but I kept you up all night and then took over your room because I was freaked out from a nightmare—“ A hitching breath cut Theo off, accompanied by a pair of tears streaking down her cheeks, “—and now you’re stuck with me invading your private space for days while I puke my guts out because I can’t even walk back to my room—“

“How about this,” Maximoff gently interrupted, not an ounce of reproach in her voice; she paused to brush away one of Theo’s tears. “We’ll help you back to your bed. Once you’re settled in, we’ll call a doctor to come up and prescribe you something to manage your symptoms until you’re back to feeling like yourself - they've done it for me when I pushed myself too hard, and it really helps.”

“Besides, it sounds like we owe you a girl’s night with lots of ice cream and complaining about men,” Romanoff added with a wink. “That can’t happen until you’re healthy again.” 

Theo narrowed her eyes at Romanoff, brows pinching together as she mulled over Romanoff’s remark. “How’d you know?”

“The internet,” Romanoff answered, then added: “Sounds like he was an ass about it.”

A quiet, watery laugh snuck out of Theo; with a small sniffle, she nodded. 

“Luckily, you have a list of super soldiers and gods who would be more than happy to put Chris in his place,” Maximoff commented with a smile that somehow was both tender and mischievous. “And who would happily help you back to your bed. Take your pick.”  

Theo looked up at Loki, a silent request in her eyes.

Romanoff followed Theo’s gaze. “Loki?” 

“I’m willing to assist.”

Once Loki scooped Theo into his arms and they confirmed she wasn’t about to be ill, the trio emerged from Loki’s bedchambers to find Wilson and Barnes sitting there, staring at the door.

“Where to?” Wilson slapped his hands on his knees before standing, his attention darting from the members of the group to Theo, curled up in Loki’s arms.

“Theo’s room,” Maximoff answered, leading the group to the corridor. 

“No doc?” Barnes questioned as he trailed behind. 

“Making a house call,” Romanoff replied over her shoulder. 

The soldiers and the widow waited in the main room of Theo’s quarters while Loki and Maximoff brought Theo to bed, only for Maximoff to dismiss Loki as soon as Theo had been set down upon her bed.

This time, Loki did not protest, though he did offer Maximoff a curious glance before taking his leave. 

In Theo’s main room, Romanoff stood by the window, one arm crossed in front of her while the other held her mobile to her ear, mid-conversation with what Loki assumed was someone from the infirmary.  The soldiers had made themselves at home on Theo’s sofa, snickering to themselves as they discussed something in voices too low for Loki to hear.

At the click of the door latch, both soldiers’ attention snapped to Loki, both wearing smug grins that made Loki’s hair stand on end.

“Out with it,” Loki grumbled, knowing one or both of the men had some snide remark on the tip of their tongue.

“I can’t believe you brought someone back to your place with no plans to hook up.” Wilson’s grin only widened as he spoke, eyes glinting and tone deceptively light.

“I’m not such a monster to abandon someone in a time of need,” Loki scoffed, opting to lean against a wall with arms crossed to maintain as much distance between them as possible.

“Never said you were,” Wilson held his hands out in a placating gesture, infuriatingly wide smile still on display. “It’s—“

“Dr. Harper should be here in a few minutes,” Romanoff interrupted, approaching the rest of the group while returning her mobile to her pocket. “A crowd isn’t necessary; Wanda and I can take it from here.”

“Fine, fine,” Barnes relented, rising to his feet. Wilson echoed his movement moments later, grumbling to himself about having to leave. “We’ll get outta your hair.”

Barnes and Wilson departed; Loki, however, did not budge. 

“If it’s alright, I’d rather see this through,” Loki explained, after Romanoff gave him a curious look. 

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged, taking up residence in the seat which Barnes abandoned hardly a minute before, perfectly content to sit in silence as they waited.

I'll be there in the hеat of the cold war I wanna be the onе that you're flipping your coin for, hey And if money is time, then I'm burning mine When you're off the line and I'm drinking mine, and I'm gonna see that we get all we deserve 'Cause baby you know that I'm a man of my word, so

Dr. Harper was someone Loki had seen in passing when he’d stop into the infirmary to visit with Theo, but he’d never spoken to Theo’s colleague. Over the time since  Loki befriended Theo, he gleaned that the pair of doctors were friends, knowing each other from before either doctor worked in the infirmary. 

To his surprise, the doctor did not knock before entering Theo’s quarters, strolling in as if she were right at home. Clad in black scrubs and a crisp white overcoat, and with raven hair twisted into a loose bun, Dr. Harper looked as if she came straight from the emergency ward, right down to the small duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

If Dr. Harper was concerned about Theo, she didn’t show any outward signs, casually greeting Romanoff and Loki with a quick wave before disappearing into Theo’s bedchambers.

Recognizing that it would likely be some time before any news, Loki finally abandoned his spot leaning against the wall in favor of the empty space on the sofa. If he were alone, he’d investigate the options on Theo’s bookshelf for something to entertain him, but with Romanoff around he did not wish to raise any suspicion. 

Loki clasped his hands together in his lap, leaned back into his seat, and closed his eyes. 

The faint hint of vanilla, likely from the plethora of candles Theo loved to burn, tickled his nose, as did the scent of fresh flowers. Beneath that, hints of coffee and something spiced - reminiscent of Theo’s perfume - caught Loki’s attention. 

He smiled to himself, slowly drawing in another deep breath and basking in the smell. Sitting in the quiet, Loki eventually found himself floating in a place that wasn’t quite dozing, but wasn’t quite awake either; had it not been for the faint creak of door hinges interrupting the peace some indeterminate amount of time later, he very well might have fallen asleep then and there.

“Did he fall asleep?” Maximoff whispered, completely dragging Loki out of the comfortable state he’d settled into.

“No,” Loki sighed, blinking his eyes open to find all three women - Romanoff, Maximoff, and Dr. Harper - looking at him. He sat up a bit, rolling his shoulders as he adjusted in his seat. “I presume there is a reason you’re all gathered here?”

“You wanted to know what the plan was,” Romanoff said, some strange sense of amusement glistening in her eye. “We’re discussing the plan.”

“Good news is this can be dealt with here - honestly, between her photosensitivity and phonophobia, all the bright lights and sounds would make her feel worse.” Dr. Harper explained, attention shifting between the trio of Avengers as she spoke. “I’m going to put in for a home care nurse to visit and set up an IV with fluids, as well as what we usually refer to as a ‘migraine cocktail’ - it’s a mix of medications meant to treat severe migraines. Even though she’s not technically experiencing a migraine, it will still help with her symptoms. I’ll note it as PRN so if the medicine wears off and symptoms return, all you need to do is call down and they can send someone up to run another round of medicine and likely some more fluids. 

“The only concern I have right now is about dehydration. Right now, she’s pretty dehydrated, which if not addressed can cause serious complications. Even if she isn’t throwing up, sweating a lot without drinking anything can make dehydration worse.”

“How do we know if she’s getting worse?” Romanoff inquired.

“I’ll have the nurse bring a list of symptoms to watch for - if you see any of them, call us right away.” Dr. Harper replied, then added: “the nurse will also complete a brief exam when they start the infusion and when it finishes, plus they will periodically check in on her to make sure things are running smoothly. If you’re ever unsure, feel free to call or text me. I’ll give you my cell number.”

“Based on your report, it seems you’d like someone to look after her?” Loki ventured. 

“Ideally, yes,” Dr. Harper confirmed. “You don’t have to have someone with her 24/7, since she’ll likely spend most of the recovery time sleeping — but checking in semi-frequently is a good idea.”

“Anything else we should do to help?” Maximoff asked, her attention fully focused on the doctor.

“There are a few things that I’d recommend,” Dr. Harper answered. “Keep the room dark and quiet to help with the sensitivity to light and sound. When she’s awake, try to have her drink as much as she can - ideally electrolyte drinks, but water and juice are also fine... I doubt she’ll want to eat, but if she is hungry and she’s not nauseous, stick to bland food and take it slow. 

“Otherwise? If she’s tired, let her sleep, even if that means she’s sleeping 95% of the time. Sleep is crucial for healing.” Dr. Harper smiled at Maximoff. “Remember, if you have any questions along the way, you can always send me a message or give me a call.”

After exchanging contact information, Dr. Harper departed.

“I’ll stay with her for now,” Maximoff volunteered, “Lokes, you were up all night with her; you should go, catch up on sleep.”

“I’m fine,” Loki protested, hesitant to leave despite the knowledge that the situation had been addressed. “Truly—“

“You pretty much fell asleep on the couch and you were getting snippy with Sam and Buck,” Romanoff countered, “You get that way when you haven’t slept enough.”

“Go to bed — I promise, we’ve got this.” Maximoff offered Loki a hand and a reassuring smile. “You can stop by later if you want.”

Loathe as he was to admit it, his sleep deprivation had become rather burdensome. 

Begrudgingly, Loki accepted the hand and allowed Maximoff to pull him to his feet. “If you insist, I will take my leave.” 

Upon returning to his own quarters, Loki went to clean up the waste bin to discover that it had been taken care of for him. Instead of sitting beside the bed, the container had been returned in its usual location, a random drop of water indicating it had been washed, as well as with a new bag lining the interior.

The thought of someone in his quarters raised a bit of internal concern, but the relief of not needing to complete such a tedious task quickly overtook the discomfort.

A quick snap of his fingers closed the drapes, plunging the room into darkness. Loki didn’t bother to change into pajamas, instead stripping down to his boxers before collapsing atop the bed. He rolled onto his side and took a deep breath, surprised to find the lingering herbal scent of Theo’s shampoo, interspersed with the salt of clean sweat and a tinge of vanilla, had infused itself into his pillow.

For the second time in less than twenty four hours, Loki drifted into a pleasant, dreamless sleep.

If your bills are late And you're low on steam You know what they say “Only the broke can dream” And if time is money And the math is right You don't gotta spend your money Baby, just spend the night, so

After three days of hiding away in her room while sleeping off the effects of overextending herself via magic, Theo felt well enough to emerge from her suite.

Having made the mistake of pushing herself too hard before, Theo knew it would take some more time to get her energy back, even after sleeping more in three days than she typically would in three weeks. But she no longer relied on medication to eliminate her nausea and pain, sudden lights or sounds no longer felt like someone drilling into her skull, and her fever broke sometime during the second day.

Feeling well enough, however, was not quite enough to inspire any adventures.

The lingering embarrassment of causing her own misery made Theo want nothing more than to hide away for an eternity, no matter how many times Wanda promised it wasn’t a big deal. One cursory glance at her phone showed an avalanche of notifications - news alerts about her and questions about if the rumors of her breakup were true. Being sick gave her an excuse to avoid talking about the breakup - after all, no one wanted to be that guy who made a sick person feel worse by bringing up a painful topic - once people realized she was feeling better, they’d jump on the chance to rub salt in the wound.

She hadn’t worked up the courage to look at any of the headlines, knowing that Chris’s most rabid fans would inevitably have plenty of nasty things to say about her. It probably didn’t help the gossip cycle that she hadn’t yet commented on the matter, but that was a bandaid she wasn’t quite ready to rip off.

And that wasn’t even getting into her embarrassment about what Loki saw, much less how she essentially stole his room from him for a night.

So, even though she’d been cooped up in her room for three days, Theo ignored the innate restlessness that came with recovery and stayed right where she was - laying in her bed, staring at her ceiling and contemplating the life choices that led her to her current state.

“I’m surprised you’re still in bed,” A low, velvet voice interrupted her brooding, prompting Theo to look over at the door. 

Loki leaned against the door frame, arms crossed loosely and aventurine eyes sparkling as he regarded Theo with a soft smile. Dressed in a charcoal hoodie and dark, slim-fit jeans, he looked more than ready for a relaxing day at home. 

Shit - Theo was not ready for this.

“You’re not one to remain stationary for long when you’re well,” Loki elaborated, leaning away from the doorframe as he studied her. “From what Maximoff told me this morning, you were supposedly feeling much better.”

“I do feel better,” Theo replied with a half-hearted smile and a small shrug.

“Yet, you remain in bed.” Loki stepped into the room, soft smile slowly shifting into a hint of a frown as his brows pinched together. 

“I…” Theo faltered, unable to whip up some clever excuse or diversion. “Yeah, I’m still in bed.” 

Loki perched himself at the edge of the mattress, shoulders tensing as Theo finally sat up in response. He watched, only looking more worried as Theo slid back to lean on the headboard, drawing her blankets up before looking back at him and forcing a smile.

“Is something the matter?” Loki seemed hesitant as he asked, searching Theo’s eyes for some unknown validation. “You seem quite distant. Have I done something wrong?”

“No!” Theo blurted out the answer without thinking, frantically shaking her head with enough vigor that Loki startled. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for the other night – it’s embarrassing that you had to deal with me when I was like that.”

Loki’s expression softened, and his shoulders relaxed a bit at the answer, though it wasn’t quite the level of ease that Theo had grown used to. “Why would you apologize?”

“Because you didn’t deserve for me to have a nuclear meltdown and to be stuck dealing with the aftermath,” Theo replied. “We give each other shit and joke around and talk about books - you didn’t sign up for me having a nuclear scale meltdown or picking my dumbass off the floor and making sure I was alright when it was my own damn fault that I felt awful to begin with. Honestly, I wasn’t sure you’d even want to look at me after that - I was a mess.” 

As Loki listened to Theo’s explanation, his shoulders continued to relax, while the gentle smile from earlier made its return. 

Before Loki replied, a quiet laugh – barely more than a puff of air – snuck out. “You forget who my brother is; he has most assuredly forced me to tolerate much worse, for far less noble reasons.” 

“Puking out his guts and bawling his eyes out about a breakup with no explanation, then taking over your bed and preventing you from getting any sleep while getting his sweat and probably some vomit on it?” Theo skeptically challenged, narrowing her eyes at Loki.

He laughed, hiding his smile behind one hand as he shook his head. “Darling, when it comes to Thor, that wouldn’t even break the top 100.”

“I’m not sure I believe you, but alright,” Theo conceded; Loki’s answers had eased a bit of her embarrassment, but she wasn’t entirely over the discomfort. “Either way, thanks– for the other night, and for not making me feel worse about it afterwards.” 

“Of course,” Loki answered like he had been thanked for something simple like handing Theo a pencil, not dropping everything to be there for Theo when she completely fell apart. He opened his mouth to speak, paused for a moment, then added: “Has it occurred to you that you give all your time, compassion, and energy to caring for others in their time of need, without judgment, yet you refuse to consider that others might wish to do the same for you?”

Theo, caught off guard by Loki’s observation, laughed nervously. 

“That’s a conversation for my therapist.” She tried to make it sound like a joke, hoping that Loki would get the hint to drop the subject for the moment. 

“Are there other matters that keep you confined to your bed, or are those only discussed with your therapist?” Loki tried, infusing a similarly lighthearted tone to his question.

Knowing Loki, he’d figure it out sooner or later; no use in delaying the inevitable.

“I’m not ready for the questions and comments about Chris,” Theo admitted, staring down at her hands as she wrung them in her lap. “Or the pity looks that come with getting dumped. Or people’s reactions to learning I literally made myself sick from magic.”

The bed shifted beneath Theo; she looked up to find Loki moving to sit beside her, intentionally leaning over to bump her shoulder with his. 

“You’re not the first Avenger to endure heartbreak - the others know well enough to let you address the matter on your terms. Though I will say, Romanoff and Maximoff have an arsenal of insipid - truly, downright asinine romantic comedies ready for when you want to partake in your quote-unquote girl’s night.” Loki chuckled to himself as he continued: “Additionally, Belova and Barnes have started a competition of who can come up with the most overly-elaborate revenge schemes; I’m certain they would love to indulge you if you’re feeling particularly spiteful. Even Rogers has contributed an idea or two.” 

The thought of Steve, of all people, proposing a revenge plot coaxed a real laugh out of Theo, which in turn widened Loki’s grin. 

“As for the rest of Midgard, they are not even aware you were ill; they simply think you’ve been occupied with matters related to the Avengers, and far too busy with truly important work to concern yourself with a pathetic Midgardian who could not even show you the respect of ending the relationship face-to-face.” Loki added, his tone shifting to downright disgust as he described Chris.

“You sound pissed at him…” Theo commented, not sure what to make of Loki’s sudden shift in temper.

“I will admit, I may have assisted in the development of a few of Barnes and Belova’s revenge fantasies.” Just like that, Loki returned to his usually clever self, offering Theo an impish grin to accompany his wry remark. “But we need not discuss further, if you wish.”

“Maybe later.” Without thinking, Theo let her head tilt to the side, resting on Loki’s shoulder; the conversation with Loki had alleviated some of her worries, enough to make her reconsider the decision to stay in bed. “A change of scenery would be nice.”

Loki turned to Theo; with the angle of her head upon his shoulder, Theo could feel Loki’s satisfied  grin as it curled over his lips. 

“I knew you wouldn’t stay hidden away for long,” Loki murmured, his breath a comforting warmth upon Theo’s scalp. He sat up and away from the headboard, rising effortlessly from the bed before offering a hand to Theo and helping her to her feet. His hand found a place on the small of her back as they walked through Theo’s suite, reminding Theo of all the other times Loki naturally looked out for her, all the while never making her feel uncomfortable or guilty about it. It struck her that for so long, Loki was seen as a bad person because of past events, but the reality was that anyone would be lucky to have him as a friend - Theo certainly felt lucky to have him looking out for her.

Just before they reached the door, Theo turned to Loki and threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. 

A small grunt of surprise came from Loki, though he returned the gesture without missing a beat.

“I know I said it before, but really - thank you,” Theo tried to explain herself as she leaned away, cheeks heating up at how basic she sounded. “As embarrassing as the whole meltdown thing was, I’m glad you were the one there to help me through it.”

Loki leaned away as well, a sheepish smile on his face as he replied:

“I’m glad I was, too.”

Tell me, would you put your money on me? Count it - one, two, three Both of us are trouble with a capital “T” But you're safe with me I wanna know baby, would you count on me? 'Cause I'd bet on you, baby, that's easy money That's easy money

—————

Author’s Note: Hello friends!

I'm trying something new - author's notes at the end of the chapter instead of the beginning.

Last week had all of the hurt, this week has lots of comfort and soft fluff. And Sam and Bucky being Sam and Bucky. 😂🥰

Here’s the deal: I’m about to head into the busiest time of year for work (between the 18th and 29th of March, I will not have any days off and will clock about 120 hours of in-person meetings and events - that isn’t including things that I need to finish independently); in addition, my capstone and independent study report for my master’s are due on April 19th, followed by my master’s portfolio on April 26th.

Over spring break I tried to write ahead as much as possible, but I haven’t made the progress I was hoping to make. As it is, this chapter is just sliding in before the end of the night. With that in mind, I’m hoping to sneak a chapter out once I have the chance to flex some time at work in a few weeks, but in the absolute worst case scenario, that first weekend in May is reading period for my students and when my schedule completely clears out, so I’ll definitely be able to share something then! Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to the tag list!

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 1: It's Still Not Quite the Way It Was

Author's Notes: We've made it to the posting of chapter 1! Each chapter has a corresponding song, noted (and linked) at the beginning of the chapter; the italic paragraphs between sections are lyrics from the corresponding song. After this chapter it'll make sense, I promise 😉

This is multi-chapter friends-to-lovers, angst with a happy ending fic. Full synopsis/masterlist can be found here (and read on AO3 here)!

Content Warnings for this Chapter: Medical whump, near-death experience, description of serious injuries. Angst for dayssss. If @loki-cees-all and @infinitystoner are to be believed, you might want kleenex. It gets much lighter after this (for a while, at least), I swear!

Word Count: 5,217

It’s Still Not Quite The Way It Was

Song: Hospital - Lydia

So I’ve been sleeping with  This silence in my mind And all I see scares me And no one knows it but she– She saved me

It was a reality that Loki could no longer ignore: they were running out of time. 

After hours hunched over in vigil, he sat up a bit taller in the stiff plastic chair that could have doubled as a torture device, stretching aching muscles and sore joints that had yet to recover from a battle unlike any the god had ever seen. Raking one hand through unkempt curls, he bit back a snarl when a passerby glanced into the cramped infirmary room and made the mistake of locking eyes with the Asgardian prince. 

Perhaps he ought to be proud of himself for the restraint; hardly thirty minutes prior, he allowed the tempest within him to take control, unleashing his worst upon his elder brother. It was not fair to Thor - everyone was reeling from the aftermath of what transpired, and though Thor may not have been as intertwined with the very heart of the matter, the repercussions impacted him too.

But Loki? 

He was not merely impacted by the fallout; it tore his world asunder.

Before him, the harsh reminder of the upheaval endured over the three days prior laid unconscious, reliant on Midgardian medicine and machinery to give her a fighting chance at survival. 

Not an inch of Theo had been spared from suffering. The blood, the dust, and the grime of battle had long been washed off of her body; now, her wounds were covered with pristine, crisp white bandages. Swaths of jagged, indigo bruises marred her otherwise ghostly complexion, which appeared more sallow under the harsh infirmary lights. Sweat poured off her skin and soaked her hair. Half-open, glassy yet clouded eyes seemed to stare right through Loki as if he wasn’t there. One eye sported a bruise, swollen and tender, beneath it. 

The sheer volume of wires and tubing connected to her body gave the appearance of a puppet. Multiple intravenous lines were placed in her arms and collarbone. Wires under her shirt collar and a sensor clipped to her index finger provided vital signs. Tubes trailed down her mouth and nose to provide oxygen and sustenance. 

And yet, it had become clear that no machine, no medicine would be enough to save her from the eldritch infection that tore through her side. 

Though no one admitted it, the truth could be found in the silence between the discordant rhythms of beeping monitors and the hissing ebb and flow of the ventilator, none of which ever aligned to the ticking of the clock on the wall. Amidst the shuffle of muted footsteps and hushed conversation in the outside corridor, the truth echoed within sterile infirmary walls. It scrawled itself along the monitors filled with vital signs that crept further and further towards demise, numbers and lines blurring together as time passed. 

Scattered across the room, stacks of ancient tomes failed to provide any insight or solution. Loki was supposedly the most powerful sorcerer in the nine realms, yet he could do nothing to help. The Scarlet Witch, with chaos magic at her fingertips, was helpless in the face of this affliction, as was the Sorcerer Supreme. Even Vision, who had the power of the mind stone and held the full knowledge of all of Midgard, was useless to stop the spread.

It was the subject of taboo: they were running out of time. 

This affliction was unlike anything they’d ever encountered. Then again, Theo was unlike anyone Loki had ever encountered. 

Leaning forward once more, he carefully enveloped her pale, cold hand in both of his.

“Cheating death is my forté, not yours. Healing is your forté, darling.” He said to the perfectly still form before him. “Forcing a reversal of roles was not a wise decision. I imagine you would know how to cure this malady; one of the many secrets tucked away in that memory of yours.” 

One of many secrets that until recently, were incomprehensible to the God of Trickery.

“It is rather ironic, isn’t it?” Loki said, brows furrowed as he focused on Theo’s face. “The most powerful healer in millennia, one who rivals that of myth - unable to save herself.”

The steady, incessant beeping of a monitor above the head of the bed echoed through the room, reminding Loki that his scolding fell upon deaf ears. No response was expected, but that did not mean the silence stung any less.

“If I could, I would admonish you thoroughly for such a reckless decision.” He continued, “You have done no less to me, dove, and they say turnabout is fair play.” 

The late hour, though hauntingly still, brought the assurance that any further visitors were unlikely.  Perhaps a nurse might pause and glance into the room, but the rounds which took place in the dead of night were less frequent than during waking hours. 

Solitude was rare - between the steady stream of medical professionals and visitors paying what very well might be their final respects, it was perhaps the second time since Loki’s life was violently upended in which he had a moment to himself. Theo - or, who Loki believed Theo to be - was well-loved on Midgard, so perhaps it was little surprise that her imminent demise affected so many.

Most were oblivious to the truth - that the woman they had come to love was little more than a lie. Yet, he did not have the heart to reveal such information; though he held a multitude of emotions regarding the situation, he could respect it was not his place to say anything.

Getting lost in the ebb and flow of breathing was easy - it certainly made it easier to lose track of time. With each rise and every fall of Theo’s chest, Loki committed it to memory, unwilling to admit to himself that it might be her last. 

“Feeling any better now?”

Loki’s attention snapped to the doorway, where Maximoff leaned against the frame. Loose copper strands fell from a disheveled ponytail, framing pursed lips and a furrowed brow. She crossed her arms crossed over her chest, the sleeves of her hooded sweatshirt shoved up to her elbows as almost an afterthought. 

“You seem more calm,” she continued, pressing herself up and stepping further into the room. “Did yelling at Thor make you feel any better?”

Loki rolled his eyes and with a huff, settled back into his chair. “He sent you, didn’t he?”

“He’s worried.” She tugged her lower lip between her teeth, bloodshot eyes flitting towards Theo. “We’re all worried.” 

Of the many words the silvertongue wished to say, they all vanished the moment he opened his mouth to speak. Unable to provide a retort, Loki simply glowered at the Scarlet Witch.

“She loves you.”

Loves, present tense, as if Theo was not on the precipice of death.

Loki scoffed. “And how would you know?”

“Because she’s the one in that bed, and not you. You love her too; if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

“One cannot love something which they do not know.” He muttered, shifting around in his seat for the umpteenth time as he sought out a tolerable position for sitting.

He had been foolish enough to love her, for all the good it had done either of them. Her, on her deathbed, and him, left to reconcile the woman he thought he knew with the woman she truly was.

Though he had averted his gaze, Loki felt the heat of Maximoff’s disappointed stare.

“Spare me your pity, witch.” 

The sigh which Maximoff replied with was akin to how a mother might respond to a petulant child. “Look, you need a shower, and some water. Sleep, ideally. Food if you’re feeling like an overachiever.” The hint of concern which wove itself into her tone only added to the festering unease within Loki’s chest. She turned on her heel, making as if to leave; however, she lingered in the doorway, twisting to face Loki one final time. 

“We’re here for you, you know… Even when you’re being a jerk,” She murmured, amber eyes glistening as she met Loki’s bitter gaze. “... Maybe especially then.”

The soft padding of feet in the hall grew faint as Maximoff departed, leaving Loki alone to face the painful truth:

They were running out of time.

So I’ve been sleeping with  This silence in my brain, my brain I wake up every day In this goddamn place But I won’t wait here anymore

Stepping outside of Theo’s infirmary room reminded Loki of what it must feel like for an animal to be released from its cage. Granted, an animal would likely relish the newfound freedom, even if it was only temporary. On the contrary, Loki dreaded such ventures.

Leaving Theo’s side was unavoidable - it was required for examinations and procedures, as well as basic elements of care like bathing and changing bandages. This particular instance was the result of the medical staff calling everyone together for a conference regarding Theo’s prognosis, as if there was anything to discuss. Everyone knew what the future held; discussing the inevitability of demise seemed rather pointless.

… Not that Loki had much choice in the matter.

Though he had no desire to be present, his pride refused to allow him to reveal the precarious state he lingered in. A quick glamour gave the impression that he maintained full control of his composure by obscuring wrinkled clothing, tangled curls, and the permanent crease between his brows that came from a deep-set frown. Only artificial light filled the corridor, casting a sickly glow on all who occupied the space.

Those who walked past him in the hall provided a wide berth, reminding him of his earliest days among the team known as Earth’s mightiest heroes, when treading on eggshells around the Asgardian prince was standard protocol. It was just as well - Loki was entirely prepared to snarl at anyone who dared draw near. Approaching the conference room door, Loki could make out hushed voices engaged in tense conversation.

“Have you talked to him?” 

“I… yeah.” 

“And?”

Before Maximoff could answer, Loki forced a cough and stepped across the threshold.

Dr. Harper and Maximoff both whipped around, eyes wide as saucers at the sight of the obvious subject of their discussion. Scattered about the room, the rest of the Avengers, along with Dr. Cho, had packed themselves into the rather claustrophobic space. Some sat in leather-backed chairs around the table, while the rest leaned against the walls with expressions ranging from confusion to displeasure.

“Loki, good - you’re here.” Dr. Cho said, flashing her best attempt at a placating smile as she clasped her hands together. “Now we can get started.”

“Yes, please do share what could be so important to necessitate the abandonment of other responsibilities and gather in this prison cell of a conference room.” Loki snipped, crossing his arms and ignoring the disappointed glare that Thor flashed at him.

Dr. Harper glanced at Romanoff as she drew in a deep, cautious breath. “Max figured out what the magic is that’s infecting Theo.”

Stunned silence permeated through the room; only the ticking of the wall clock gave the indication that time had not come to a standstill. Around the room, nervous glances accompanied mouths which hung slightly agape. Loki waited expectantly for a follow up, some sign that there was a positive outcome to the conversation or additional information. 

When none came, Loki steeled himself to ask the question which lingered in the darkest corners of his mind: “What good does that do if there is no means to reverse it?”

“That’s why we called you all here—“ Undeterred by Loki’s cynical inquiry, Dr. Cho replied, only to be interrupted by Maximoff. 

“You’re saying there may be a cure?” Something between hope and desperation seeped through her question; Loki could not ignore the stutter of his pulse at the prospect, though he quickly tamped it down.

“According to Max,” Romanoff interjected. She leaned back in her seat, legs crossed as if this were simply another mission briefing and not the life of an Avenger in the balance. “From what he gathered, there are documents with the information about how to remove whatever this is. Last he heard, they were stolen… by Theo.”

“Then what are we doing here?” Barnes leaned forward, tapping vibranium fingers clinking against the steel table. “She already has what we’re looking for.”

“That’s the problem—“ Rogers spoke from the head of the room, leaning against the wall with arms crossed. Dark circles beneath his eyes and a five-o’clock shadow revealed the toll the recent events took on the captain. “We’ve searched her entire suite and can’t find them anywhere.”

Romanoff leaned forward once more, resting her elbow on her knees. “Tony has FRIDAY reviewing the security footage—“ 

“Not that it does any good if she never took the documents out of her room.” Stark cut off Romanoff, massaging his temples with both hands. Somehow, the engineer appeared to be even more sleep deprived than usual.

“Assuming that’s the case, she would have known where they were stored, right?” Dr. Banner chimed in, sounding unnervingly calm given the circumstances.

“Even if she did, it’s not like she can tell us,” Wilson interrupted, shaking his head. “She can’t even breathe right now.”

“...Maybe she doesn’t need to.” Dr. Banner replied, adding on a thoughtful hum. 

“What?” Belova piped up from beside her sister, mirroring the elder Widow’s posture; however, unlike the stoic expression which Romanoff maintained, Belova openly wore her confusion.

“We do have two people who can read minds…” Dr. Banner glanced between Loki and Maximoff, silently dragging the pair of sorcerers into the fray.

Combing through the memories of another was something Loki would not give a second thought in his younger years; if he could access the memory, he assumed he was entitled to know. 

Yet, after the Mad Titan and the void, he had no interest in the act. The vulnerability of having one’s mind scoured brought an ominous chill to Loki; though he was uncertain of his feelings towards Theo, he had no desire to cause her to feel violated, even if she had withheld such vital information.

“Absolutely not.” Loki crossed his arms and stood a bit taller, fiercely shaking his head with feigned determination. “I refuse.”

“You’re afraid.” Stark cocked a brow at Loki, nodding as if he understood the sorcerer’s motivations.

“Why would I be afraid?” Loki snapped, glowering at Stark for daring to leverage such an accusation.

Stark rolled his eyes, then leaned forward in his chair while locking eyes with Loki. “Because you don’t know what else you might find?” 

“Hardly,” he scoffed, “I simply doubt it would be a fruitful venture.”

“Wanda, what about you?” 

“I don’t know…” The witch hesitated, frowning as her attention skittered around the room. “Are you sure you know what you’re asking me to do? It’s pretty invasive.”

“Would she know if you tried?” Parker frowned, arms crossed while one leg bounced incessantly, contradicting the rhythm of the clock.

“I don’t think so.” Maximoff shook her head. “But would you want someone digging through your thoughts and learning all your secrets?”

“We’re out of options,” Romanoff pointed out. “Shuri and Bruce haven’t been able to replicate this thing, and if we do nothing she’ll die. I think, all things considered, she could forgive you for invading her privacy.”

A tense silence fell over the room; outside, muffled footsteps and assorted announcements reminded everyone that while they dithered over the subject, time continued to pass - time which they did not have.

If anything, perhaps having one of the sorcerers search the suite would be more useful - if Theo had some sort of magical ward placed on the space to hide the documents, they would be able to detect it.

“Okay,” Maximoff’s agreement, though quiet, rang clear. “I’ll try - I mean, it can’t hurt, right?”

Rather than argue, Loki held his tongue and prayed the witch would be right. 

Oh, no one is watching now Sing like you just might drown But always come back for air

Though he dreaded what he might see, Loki could not resist the curiosity of what might transpire at Maximoff’s attempt to enter Theo’s mind. 

Two hours after the meeting, everyone gathered to witness what was hailed as the only way Theo’s life could be saved. There was a certain buzz, an almost frenetic hum to the space. Doctors and nurses stood by, ready to act, as if Midgardian healers would be able to do anything in the face of magical destruction. 

Loki stationed himself near the door, leaning against the wall with arms crossed while watching the scene before him with open skepticism. His position allowed for a clear view once they began, yet kept him out of the traffic patterns as others moved about the space.

Meanwhile, Maximoff positioned herself at Theo’s bedside. As she waited for instructions, she carried a certain heaviness in the slump of her shoulders and the crease of her brow that Loki hadn’t seen in some time. The Scarlet Witch might have been the more optimistic of the sorcerers, but she too understood the gravity of the situation before them. 

A roiling, churning sense of dread pitted itself in Loki’s stomach, swelling as the anticipation increased. He hadn’t noticed that the rest of the room had drawn to a standstill until Dr. Cho made the announcement:

“Wanda, we’re ready when you are.” 

Worrying her lower lip between her teeth, Maximoff nodded, then turned her attention to Theo. She leaned over the bed, hands hovering just beyond Theo’s temples as tendrils of translucent crimson energy curled and disappeared beneath Theo’s skin. Maximoff closed her eyes, lips downturned as she focused her attention on the task at hand.

All hell broke loose.

Alarms erupted while a horde of doctors and nurses swarmed the bed. Despite her many injuries, Theo thrashed about on the bed, back arching and hands clawing at the sheets with a face twisted in anguish. Despite the tube down Theo’s throat, Loki swore he saw her lips twitching in a cry for help. 

A panicked glance at the monitor revealed a mess of flashing crimson numbers glaring at Loki, taunting him with how foolish this entire scheme was.

Cry as she might, nothing they could do - nothing he could do - would be of any help. 

The realization rendered Loki unable to fight as a Midgardian pushed him away, while another grasped his arm and dragged him through the threshold and into the hall. 

Though forced from the room, Loki plastered himself against the glass door in a futile attempt to remain close. He caught a glimpse of her body falling limp against the bed, not moving whatsoever; meanwhile, discordant shouting and alarms slipped beneath the door.  A scarlet glow reflected from the monitors onto the crowd surrounding Theo, casting a menacing air on the scene as it unfolded. The doctors and nurses moved with a brisk, detached precision, as if oblivious to the knowledge that Loki’s love balanced on a knife’s edge.

Just when he thought the situation could not worsen any further, a nurse noticed Loki. She remained stone-faced as she yanked the curtain closed, fully obscuring his view. 

Elaborate possibilities of terrible outcomes spun through his traitor of a mind. Every footstep echoing down the hall felt akin to the Hela and Fenris approaching. The sound of monitors spilling from other patients’ rooms was the countdown prior to a bomb detonating. He hardly realized when his knees gave out and he sank to the floor, blocking out his surroundings before he could spiral further. 

A lifetime and a moment passed all at once, Loki sitting with his back against the wall and knees against his chest, palms pressed to his eyes in a pathetic attempt to stop any further tears. He may as well have been nothing more than a child, pitifully helpless to stop the slow dirge that accompanied mortality. Theo’s final moments would be spent in a hurricane of chaos and fear, devoid of any form of comfort or meaningful companionship.

“Loki?”

The internal debate of whether to remain in the purgatory of the unknown or face a truth that might very well be Hel stopped Loki from immediately reacting. The tone offered little indication of the outcome, increasing Loki’s hesitancy to respond.

“Loki.” The repetition was firm; enough so that he realized that there was no ignoring whatever was about to come.

He drew a deep breath and braced himself for the worst before lifting his head. 

Dr. Harper stood before him, offering him a hand and a weak smile. “She’s still here - gave us a bit of a scare, but she’s hanging in there.” 

Relief washed over Loki, though it was short-lived at best. 

Theo couldn’t leave him - not like this. He would not - he could not allow it.

Then again… what could he do to stop it?

‘Cause I never got to  See you once more, no I guess that’s all I wanted I guess that’s all I needed

“Brother, please - you must try.” Thor all but begged his younger brother, trailing behind Loki’s relentless pace like a puppy chasing its master. 

In the same cramped conference room where the idea of entering Theo’s mind was initially entertained, those who had not yet given up hope of rescue gathered to discuss the best path forward.

“In such reckless desperation to save her, all that has been done is hasten her demise.” Loki snarled, “And yet, you continue to believe that such barbaric methods could reap any benefit! Has she not suffered enough?”

“We would try something else if we had another option,” Barnes pointed out, aggressively massaging where vibranium connected with flesh. “but we don’t. It sucks, but it’s our best shot.”

“I doubt it would prove successful,” Loki muttered, bravado giving away to bitterness; another reminder that being among the most powerful sorcerers of the nine realms was of no value; for all the magic in the world, he was useless. “If Maximoff could not break past the wards in her mind, what makes you believe I would be capable?”

“Isn’t there something about the power of love?” Whether Stark was serious or facetious was difficult to ascertain; regardless, Loki found both possibilities to be utterly infuriating. “True love conquers all, yada-yada fairytale sort of thing?”

“That is nothing more than myth,” Loki hissed, blood boiling at such an insolent proposition. “There is no evidence to indicate it would make any difference in such matters.” 

“Loki, please–”

“Do you truly wish for my magic to strike the killing blow?” Loki slammed his fist against the table, stunning the others into silence. Every muscle in his body wound itself tight with tension as he struggled to maintain any semblance of respect for those who asked him to commit such a horrific act. “You ask of me the impossible; my seidr would be the last touch of life she feels before she is thrust into a painful, cruel death. How could I live with that?” 

His voice betrayed him, breaking as he asked the question; with it, he felt his carefully composed mask begin to crack. The heat which built behind his eyes spilled over, seeing nothing but burning red as his cheeks grew wet. Before the others could comment, he turned away and wiped his eyes, forcing a glamour for just long enough to hide his slip in composure.

When he returned his attention to the others, Thor stared at him as if he saw through Loki’s tricks. “Brother, can you live with yourself if you try nothing?”  

“There must be another way.” Loki implored, clenching his jaw to stop the trembling of his lower lip. He let out a tense breath, raking one hand through what had become unkempt, tangled curls. “Something we’ve not yet tried–”

“Fine - if you won’t try, maybe you can make yourself useful and go through her laptop.” Romanoff’s own carefully composed mask of indifference began to slip, allowing the faintest hint of tension to show in the manner in which she scrubbed her face with her hands.  

“What exactly do you presume I will find?” Loki drawled, though he accepted the device when Rogers held it out to him. 

Romanoff massaged her temples, her frustration more openly on display. “We won’t know until you look, will we?” 

Try as he might, Loki could not conjure a counterpoint.

Not long after, Loki sat in the torture chamber of an infirmary room, staring at Theo’s laptop before him. Searching through files seemed like a fruitless task, however he could at least acknowledge that it might prove more beneficial than other means of research.

Unlocking the device was simple; such a task could be completed in his sleep. However, the image that greeted him upon entering the password triggered a memory so painful that Loki nearly slammed the damned contraption shut and banished it into another plane. 

It was a picture of Theo and Loki, from the day he took her to Coney Island. They were at the top of the ferris wheel, with a view of the city in the background as the sunset stretched across the sky. It was relatively early in her tenure as an Avenger - in need of an opportunity to destress, Loki suggested they spend an afternoon at the amusement park. 

By the time they boarded the ferris wheel, Loki’s sides ached from the endless laughter between them. Theo’s cheeks flushed the faintest pink from sunburn, but the sparkle in her ocean eyes told him that the adventure was worth the slight discomfort. He remembered how she pestered him to take the photo because he had longer arms, and how at the last moment Theo wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer to her, causing him to laugh in surprise right as he took the picture.

Everything had been so simple then; what he would have sacrificed to go back to that moment and linger there eternally.

Rather than casting the laptop aside, the desire for connection pushed Loki to see what else he might find. He methodically worked his way through the files, searching folder by folder for anything that might have even the slightest connection to the predicament before them. Hours passed as he worked through the multitude of files, the motivation from earlier replaced with hopelessness as he failed to find anything that might be useful moving forward.

After he closed the final document, a different folder caught his eye.

Titled “Covers,” inside were the recordings of the many songs which Theo performed her own renditions of and shared online. The files dated back to approximately when she began her role as an Avenger, covering a variety of styles and genres of music.

In a way, looking through her music felt like he was reading her diary: intimate, vulnerable, and candid. But he also knew that this was the closest he would get to easing the ache of not being able to talk to her, to apologize endlessly for his foolishness, to understanding and reconciling the woman he thought he knew with the woman she truly was. He could always tell how she was feeling based on what she was listening to; right now, with their relationship in such a precarious place and her well-being in the balance, he craved anything that allowed him to feel closer to her.

Just before he could press play, a nurse entered, politely requesting that he take his leave as they tended to Theo.

Loki glanced one final time at the laptop, the question lingering on his mind: what if entering her mind truly was the solution? 

As if on cue, Thor’s voice echoed in Loki’s mind: Could he live with himself if he did not at least try?

Then again, if she perished, could he live with himself knowing he was the cause?  

Now look, you’ve made a fool out of love When all you want is to be enough, When all you want is to feel enough

In the end, desperation won over.

The Norns must have truly cursed him, to force his hand into taking such action. The stacks of texts which failed to provide any hints about a path forward, the laptop which held no documentation of the secrets Theo kept, the chimes of machines which provided borrowed time - they all taunted him as he sat alone in the darkened room, with nothing but one small lamp above the head of bed illuminating the space. The corridor outside was eerily still, no doubt from the late hour, with not even the squeak of rubber sole on polished floors making it to Loki’s ears.

Before he began, he decided to revisit the playlist of covers she recorded. If there was one thing that had not been cast into doubt after everything that transpired, it was that the music she created always provided a window to her emotions at that moment in time. Though it was a long shot, Loki hoped that hearing the very songs she covered might help Theo subconsciously lower her guard, allowing Loki to see into her memories.

Selfishly, he hoped it might also offer him the opportunity to determine if the bonds between them were true, or if they were little more than illusions.

If nothing else, the sound of her voice floating through the air offered him a comfort that he desperately craved, particularly as he stared down the prospect of being both her lover and executioner. 

In the dead of night, with no one around to witness, Loki said a prayer to whatever deities might offer him grace. He leaned over, delicately cupping Theo’s cheek in his hand. His gaze carefully cataloged the features he’d come to love and the remnants of a war she hadn’t chosen to fight in, committing them to his own memory.

“If this is to be your final moment, I hope that it is peaceful,” he murmured, as if she could hear his voice or comprehend his message. “Come what may, I pray you will forgive me for that which I am about to do; I wish nothing but the best for you, my dear.”

Theo’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and for a moment, Loki’s pulse stuttered as he swore traces of recognition could be found. Yet, it was a fleeting moment before they fell shut once more, and the reality of their situation set in.

It was now or never.

Taking Theo’s hand in his, Loki closed his eyes. The tingle of Seidr flowed through his veins as he channeled it into Theo, uncertain about what he would find when he attempted to probe her mind. 

In some sort of poetic irony, that was exactly how he found himself back where most stories start - at the beginning.

It’s still not quite the way it was, But you promised me that  this is love, so stay and  Watch the hospital that’s Just across the street From your apartment balcony I’ll never ever leave, I’ll never leave

Tag list: @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @thedistractedagglomeration @lokisgoodgirl @simplyholl @mochie85 @coldnique @lokixryss @gigglingtiggerv2 @infinitystoner @loopsisloops @mischief2sarawr @crzyplantladyvibes @buttercupcookies-blog @vickie5446 @wolfsmom1 @sarahscribbles @loki-cees-all @the-lady-amphitrite @tripleyeeet let me know if you want to be added!

[iwillbeinmynest]

I'm actually loving that you are reading the series because I get to reread it too! I see your reactions and then wonder "wait, what happened in this chapter?" Lol

So yeah, I hate Mandie. But, keep reading...

Hold On Loosely - Biker!Steve x Reader(f)    Chapter 13

Authors Notes:  If you’d like to be tagged please send me an ask. I keep better track of tags that way.

Word Count: 2k

Special Thanks: Here’s to @itsanerdlife for fueling my Biker obsession and being my Beta for this whole thing. To my girl over at @girl-next-door-writes who also beta’ed for me. And an extra shout out to @bettercallsabs for this beautiful graphic. She is amazing and y’all need to check her out!!

Notes/Warnings: (My notes and warnings are for the story as a whole. Some notes and Warnings will not apply to every chapter.) smoking (I do not support smoking. keep your lungs clean y’all.) drinking, (be of age, don’t be stupid) minor violence, backstabbing, attempted murder, anxiety, stress, mentions of death, car accident, trauma, …I think that’s it. let me know if I’ve missed something.

Master List

After the prospects arrived, Steve drilled them about various security duties. Three boys, no older than twenty-three, were stationed on the front porch and driveway and two more inside. The men inside with Y/N were older. One of them, Frank, looked as tough as nails and the other, Pietro, was younger but had a fire in his eyes that gave Y/N an odd sense of security. Who was she kidding, they all did. There was no denying the respect and loyalty they all had for Steve and she knew she was in good hands.

 Y/N kissed Steve good-bye and was almost relieved when he finally rode off. "At least, now, he won’t be pacing trails in my carpet.“ She tried to smile at Frank as he escorted her back inside.

 "He isn’t really the sit till type, Ma'am.” He smirked.

 "No, he isn’t.“ She needed to work before she thought too much about what he’d gone out to do. “You boys want some sweet tea or anything?”

 Pietro shook his head with a smile. 

 "No, Ma'am. Don’t worry over us. You do whatever you want to. We’ll be here if you need us.“ Frank nodded.

 Y/N gave them a smile and headed to her office. 

Keep reading

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 4: I'm Not Sure if Anybody Understands

Summary: The Avengers try to learn more about their newest team member.

Author's Notes: Reminder - this is a continuation of the same song from the last chapter. ❤️

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog (less than 100 followers, haha) and reblogs really help me out <3 Also, feel free to send me a message or comment if you want to be added to the tag list.

Next chapter should be coming November 5th.

Content Warnings: Some alcohol mentions. Angst if you squint?

Word Count: 6,762

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Some Nights - fun.

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end 'Cause I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win (I always win) But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know

“Hi, we’re Your Friendly Neighborhood Bar Band, and we’re here to play some music tonight.”

With the golden warmth of stage lights washing over her, Theo grinned at the cheers that came from Jack’s introduction and started plunking out the opening notes of their first song.

She started playing with the group shortly after accepting her position as an attending at New York Presbyterian, having been introduced by a colleague whose brother happened to be their drummer. That was a few years before; since then, the group had grown to add a couple other members and expanded their repertoire to cover almost anything and everything. For Theo, it was as much an opportunity to keep herself learning and practicing new instruments as anything else. Music was one of the few things in the world that brought her any sort of solace, as it was something her parents both placed a great value in, so any excuse to create music was welcome. 

Theo didn’t run the show - they all rotated out who fronted certain songs, and she was not needed to provide on-stage banter - but she did switch instruments most often, as she was the only one who had taken the initiative to learn all of the one-off instruments for the times when a song had a saxophone or a trumpet and it just didn’t sound right without that specific instrument. 

It was the last show she would play before news broke of the newest addition to the Avengers. Knowing full-well that meant she would need to step back from pre-planned appearances  or shows, she did her best to soak up each and every moment of the evening in hopes of tucking it away for a rainy day in the future. The stupid jokes that Jack told the crowd, Kelsie moving around so much that she inevitably crashed into Theo mid-song, the drunk guy in the audience who shouted at them to play Wonderwall, the scent of stale beer and sweat under half-lit fluorescents… 

Well, she soaked up everything except for the crowd of famous faces in the back. 

The Avengers lurked near the bar, each member’s posture stiff and uncomfortable as they watched the crowd drunkenly dancing and singing along to every word. For spies and assassins, they weren’t exactly great at blending in. If anything, they stuck out like a sore thumb.

She should have known they’d find their way there.

After pulling the stunt at the Avengers’ briefing, it was only a matter of time before they sought Theo out for some observation of their own. Catching the entire team off-guard was incredibly satisfying and certainly got under their skin… Which was exactly the point. If they thought she was predictable and stable, they’d trust her and want her to stay. And with the individual and collective egos in that room, she needed to knock them all down a peg or two. Pulling the rug out from under the entire team was an effective reminder that they weren’t as prepared as they thought they were.

And boy, did they need that reminder.

She’d seen the videos of their attempts at taking on shadow beasts, and if her initial suspicions were correct about the source of the pests, the Avengers certainly had no idea what they were in for… 

Screaming cheers from the audience snapped Theo out of her wandering thoughts. She pushed the irritation about presence from her mind; the Avengers already took up too much of her headspace. She didn’t need to let them ruin the night. 

No, she had a show to play and she’d be damned if she didn’t make the most of it.

She shook her head, bringing her attention back to Jack as he worked the crowd.

“Theo Amaris on the… well shit, she plays pretty much everything at one point or another. Piano, guitar, vocals, violin, cello, sax, trumpet— not only can she play pretty much every instrument and make it look easy, but she’s got two fucking Grammy nominations for it.”

At the announcement, Theo’s cheeks burned. 

The nominations weren’t for writing music - a friend of a friend was working at a recording studio and they needed someone to come in and help with recording a bunch of parts for a major recording musician. Theo was a broke med student in the middle of her residency at the time and well, the gig paid well. All she had to do was show up, play the instruments, sign an NDA, and she got more than her fair share of pay. Of course, now that the album was out and her name was in the song credits the NDA no longer applied, but at the time she wondered if the paycheck was more to keep quiet about it and less about recording the music.

The album ended up getting two grammy nominations - album of the year and country album of the year. 

“I didn’t write the songs, so I don’t know if it’s fair to say the nominations are mine… I was recruited to play a few instrumental parts, and I did it because I was a broke med student who needed money!” Theo interjected, earning a laugh and cheers from the crowd. “I didn’t even know who the recordings were for until a week before the album came out.”

“Theo what, like it’s hard? Amaris here, making us all look bad as she casually racks up Grammy nominations while in motherfucking med school. Actually, hey look, our next song is from that album!” Jack replied, earning a louder round of screams from the crowd. 

Anyone who had been to a show of theirs probably knew what was coming, since Jack liked to point it out every single time they played - but tonight, Theo found herself wishing he hadn’t revealed that detail… After all, she had a bunch of superheroes watching who would definitely ask questions about that endeavor, and she wasn’t overly excited about any unnecessary interaction.

“Yeah, yeah… okay, let’s get this over with.” Theo forced herself to laugh, but shook her head. “This is Everything has Changed.”

Of the songs she helped record, Everything has Changed was one of her favorites; she always thought her sister would have loved the song. It was light and sweet and romantic, and Rae was always a romantic at heart.  

God, what she’d give to see her sister again.

“All I knew this morning when I woke / is I know something now / know something now I didn’t before / and all I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago / is green eyes and freckles and your smile / in the back of my mind making me feel like / I just wanna know you better…” 

From the back of the crowd, a pair of green eyes caught hers, and she couldn’t help but smile.

If there was anyone she wanted to know better, it was the intrepid Asgardian sorcerer who had long shed the reputation of wanting to conquer Earth and replaced it with equal parts charm, mystery, and wit sharper than the daggers he fought with. The sole interaction she’d had with him only increased her curiosity: Loki was one of the few, if not the only Avenger who didn’t express reservations about her before they were aware she was in the briefing, and he seemed almost amused at the way she pulled the wool over the others’ eyes.

If the way he studied her, obscured in shadows from the back of the crowd, was any indication, maybe he wanted to know her better too.

So this is it? I sold my soul for this?  Washed my hands of that for this?  I miss my mom and dad for this? No, when I see stars, when I see –  When I see stars, that's all they are When I hear songs,  They sound like a swan - so come on…

Midgardian sports were utterly dull.

Loki would never interact with such activities if he had the choice. Midgardian sports were slow, overwhelmingly attended by drunken old men who could be outsmarted by a child, and required little skill to compete. The fact that the activity brought pleasure to anyone was confounding; what was even more confounding was that Theo willingly participated in such activities - as it turned out, she played the sport which Midgardians could not even agree on a name for: soccer, also known as football in locations which actually applied logic to the naming of their athletic endeavors.

Of course, the moment Maximoff discovered this morsel of information about the newest recruit, she insisted that the Avengers attend Theo’s next match and cheer her on.

…Which meant that when she and Thor badgered Loki into joining, Loki spent the entire journey to the event pondering ways he might slip away without anyone being the wiser. Yet, the blinding grin and exuberant babbling of his brother as they arrived at the match diminished Loki’s resolve. Clearly the older Odinson was thrilled that the younger brother ventured out to attend, and he did not have the heart to ruin that enthusiasm. Maximoff, meanwhile, was absolutely buzzing over the opportunity to hopefully bond with Theo, chattering constantly about how nice it was going to be to have another female around the tower and all the things they would do together.

Even with hats and sunglasses to obscure the more defining features of their appearances, having their visages plastered on televisions and across the internet meant it was nearly impossible to go anywhere without recognition. Sure enough, they barely found a place in the stands for the group to sit when the hushed comments and glances started. Less than thrilled about the eyes on him, Loki kept his attention fixed on the field and remained quiet in hopes of not drawing any additional attention.

In theory, the Midgardians had moved on from New York. Thor insisted on sharing what actually caused the invasion as a way to prove Loki was not a threat, even though it left Loki feeling rather embarrassed that his weakness was put on display. The Midgardians, it seemed, were more forgiving than Loki anticipated. He was not ridiculed for being so feeble-minded that someone could control him. Even so, he would be foolish to believe they had entirely forgotten about what took place or what Loki was capable of. Whether or not they would admit it, they likely still regarded him as a threat.

He tried to shake the thought by focusing on the scene in front of him.

Down on the field, the two teams were preparing for the match. Spotting the reason for their attendance was easy - between the silver braid swishing as she dove in front of a net and the different color uniform from everyone around her, she stood out like a sore thumb. Even with the padded jersey, shin guards, and protective gloves to add bulk, it was clear her height was disproportionate to her frame. 

“Starting goalie for Duke all four years, captain her senior year.” Romanoff leaned into the group as she shared the information. “Multiple offers to go pro, but she turned them down to go to med school.”

“Is Duke good?” Maximoff asked.

“Consistently one of the top ranked college women’s soccer programs.” Parker answered, “one of MJ’s friends was scouted to play there.”

“What’s the band on her arm?”

“Captain band,” Romanoff replied, “means she’s leading the group when on the field.”

As the team wrapped up a drill, one of the other players approached Theo. After listening to whatever the other player had to say, Theo glanced over at the stands. The moment she noticed the Avengers was obvious by the scowl and the dramatic eye-roll that crossed her face. 

“Brother,” Thor nudged Loki with his elbow, “I’ve never seen a Midgardian who could scowl quite like you, but it seems you may have competition.” 

Loki turned to find Thor smirking at him, to which he responded by arching an eyebrow at him.

Fortunately, Thor was unable to find any additional opportunities to drag Loki into the mix of conversation, as shortly thereafter the players were brought on the field and the match began.

Though the Avengers were attending a soccer match, Loki found himself less focused on the sport and more interested in using the event as a character study. 

If the team was an army, Theo was its commander. She constantly called out instructions and warnings, all the while strategizing and directing her team members as though they were her troops. This was a drastic departure from the almost chaotic, mischievous woman that crashed the team’s briefing. If this was what she was like when placed in a high-pressure situation, perhaps Fury was wise to seek out her involvement. 

It was fascinating to watch her work. Loki found himself ignoring the action at the opposite end of the field in favor of trying to detect what Theo saw that influenced her commands. She moved with laser-sharp precision to prevent any scoring opportunities, all the while continuing her command of the troops.

Perhaps there was more to this particular sport than Loki realized, as it wasn’t long before he found himself actually enjoying the spectacle. It certainly helped that the other team provided a formidable challenge, with neither team scoring during the match or in overtime. 

Somehow, that was not the end. Apparently, the final tie-breaker was a “penalty kick shootout.” While the teams prepared themselves for the challenge, Shuri explained the process to those who were unfamiliar (which included Loki, though he would not admit it).

Each team alternated attempts at scoring. Theo’s team scored on their first shot. The opposing team aimed for the lower left corner, but Theo was too fast - she dove to the ground with arms outstretched, catching the ball before it could enter the net. The second penalty kick from Theo’s team was also a success, this time directed to the opposite side of the net.

When the opposing team took their second shot, Loki studied Theo as she prepared to defend against the other team. She crouched low, hands up and ready to catch the ball at a moment’s notice. Her attention was not on the ball, but just beyond; when the other player approached the ball, she watched their body for clues about where they aimed. 

Top right corner was the target, but they overshot and the ball went out of bounds.

“So if Theo’s team scores and the other team misses one more time, Theo’s team wins.” Shuri whispered as if she had a particularly exciting and scandalous rumor to share, though nothing about what she divulged was private information and it was far from salacious.

The swish of the soccer ball hitting the back of the net confirmed a third goal for Theo’s team.

“No pressure on Theo,” Barnes remarked, “She’s about to decide the championship.”

Right - Maximoff had mentioned something about a league championship among the five hundred other remarks about the Silver Shadow, but Loki hadn’t really been listening.

According to Parker, it was an incredible kick. The ball curved as it flew through the air, heading for the top left corner of the net. The spiderling claimed it was a shot that most professional goalies wouldn’t have been able to stop. There was no way Theo could stop it.

A flash of neon purple careened towards the top left corner, getting enough air to punch the ball out of the way before diving to the ground. 

Not even a moment after she stopped the shot, raucous cheering erupted from the stands. Maximoff and Shuri squealed, jumping up and down. Parker, Barnes, Belova, Wilson, and Thor openly wore their surprise on their faces, arms spread wide as they whooped and hollered. Romanoff and Rogers were not as open in their surprise, but they still leapt to their feet with excitement; then again, even Loki was on his feet cheering. 

Pushing herself up to her knees, Theo whipped around, confusion rampant across her face as she checked whether the ball made it into the net. When no ball was found, she turned back to the field, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as she located the ball’s final resting place - about a quarter of the way down the field, next to the sideline.

Theo sprung to her feet, joining in on the celebration as she realized that she had, in fact, stopped the shot. Her teammates surrounded her, everyone cheering as they jumped on top of each other and embraced. 

Once the adrenaline of the match wore off, Loki grew anxious to return to the tower. The others, however, insisted on staying long enough to congratulate Theo, as they felt it would help her feel more welcome. 

Theo, however, seemed perfectly content to avoid the Avengers. Not far from where they sat was another group who she must have recognized, because she ran over to them and greeted them with hugs, conversing with them for far too long to be considered idle chatter. Most of her posse seemed to be close to her age, though one small child and one petite, elderly woman were among the group. It was the elderly woman who pointed towards the Avengers and made some remark; they were just far enough away that Loki did not hear what she said, though the smirk that accompanied it set him on edge.

When the others departed and no one else served to distract her, Theo finally approached the Avengers. The excitement from speaking to the other group had been replaced with open apprehension as she drew near, perhaps feeling as uncertain about the interaction as Loki felt about the Avengers’ presence.

“Um… hey,” Theo chewed the inside of her cheek as she offered a half-wave to the group.

“Hey Theo - Congratulations!” Maximoff beamed, “You were great out there!” 

“Thanks. I didn’t realize you were coming to the game…” Theo’s gaze flitted around the group. “You know I start on Monday, right?“

“Yeah, but we thought it would be nice to come cheer you on,” Romanoff said, “Though your reaction when you first spotted us was something else…”

“My what?” Theo furrowed her brow, glancing around the group.

“The eye roll and scowl that rivaled Loki’s…” Thor said, arching an eyebrow at Theo, who appeared utterly baffled, only for realization to dawn on her face moments later. 

“Oh - shit, that wasn’t you,” Theo let out a quick, nervous laugh, shaking her head. “Allie, one of my teammates - her ex-boyfriend was here and she saw him. He’s been trying to get back together with her, but she can do way better. That had nothing to do with you.”

When she was met with a collective look of suspicion, she laughed a second time, a lilting sound that floated through the air. “You really think I’m going to lie with the God of Lies right here?”

Though he hid it well, the moniker made Loki cringe; it was one of many that reminded the world of his past, insidious and ever-looming over him like a storm cloud. 

Everyone stared at Loki, waiting for his assessment.

“I do not believe she is lying,” he concluded, “though I must agree that it was quite a dramatic response. I almost wish to meet whoever the expression was directed towards, as they must have truly annoyed you to garner such a reaction.”

At that, Theo snorted. “No, no you don’t want to meet him. He’s a waste of space.” She paused, shifting the duffel bag she carried around to her opposite side. “Well… thanks for coming. I’ll see you Monday? Unless you just randomly show up at something else… But I’m pretty sure I don’t have anything else you can crash, unless you showed up at my job… Which I wouldn’t recommend, because that usually involves someone getting hurt.”

“We are pretty good at that,” Wilson replied, winking at her. “But we’ll hold off for now.”

She laughed, bidding them good night before disappearing into the dark.

For someone who had no desire to become an Avenger, she seemed rather amiable. Perhaps that was her nature, or maybe there was something else at play.

The question of what that might be plagued Loki the entire way home.

Well, that is it, guys, that is all  Five minutes in, and I'm bored again Ten years of this, I'm not sure  If anybody understands This one is not for the folks at home, Sorry to leave, Mom, I had to go Who the fuck wants to die alone  All dried up in the desert sun?

The night of the newest Avenger’s introduction to the public, the whole team assembled for Stark’s party. 

At this point, it was practically a routine. New members would be announced, the whole team would woo the press so they would get ideal coverage, and then they’d settle into training the new members and sending them out on missions.

These parties were nothing difficult. Centuries of being a prince on Asgard equipped Loki with the decorum and etiquette to charm his way through formal social gatherings. Unlike Thor, who won his acclaim through battle, Loki did not have the helm of a warrior to win him praise; instead, he earned recognition through skilled diplomacy and knowing how to work a room. It was nowhere near his favorite way to spend an evening, but there were worse ways to pass the time.

Besides, his ability to navigate these events was a significant reason his reputation had improved among the Midgardians. After saying the right things and charming the right people, New York seemed to be a distant memory for them. In some ways, Loki envied their ability to forget the incident so easily. 

The circumstances around the event still haunted him, though he’d never outright admit it. 

Nevertheless, once he made his rounds and played the part of charming Asgardian Prince for the press, Loki preferred to situate himself near the bar. It offered an easy view of the room, provided easy access to beverages, and kept him far enough from the dancing that when Maximoff and Barnes inevitably had too much to drink and wanted him to join them on the dance floor, he could easily evade them. Midgardian liquor didn’t do much to intoxicate Loki, but he found that he did have a taste for cocktails he could sip throughout the evening. The other bonus of having a beverage in hand was that it made him appear more approachable. 

Given his history, anything that made him look less threatening was a benefit.

Theo was easy to spot, silver hair tumbling down her back in loose curls. She wore a black jumpsuit with no back and a long keyhole across the front that highlighted her chest. It was a smart choice - she knew she would be on display and dressed to kill. The jumpsuit balanced power with just enough skin to provide sex appeal, yet provided enough coverage that no one would clutch their pearls at the sight of her. 

From his preferred spot near the bar, Loki observed Theo’s interactions with the important guests of the party. She stuck close to Stark’s side, smiling and nodding as they went from guest to guest. She carried herself with grace; shoulders back and chest out as though she were a dancer, gracefully flowing from group to group throughout the evening. However, it seemed as if she hardly spoke a word. Stark looked perfectly at home with a beautiful woman on each side - opposite Theo, Potts seemed like a natural as she caught up with party guests, laughing and chatting without reservation.

Occasionally, Theo would scan the room and lock eyes with Loki - when they did, Loki would smirk and raise an eyebrow at her, while Theo would widen her eyes in what appeared to be a silent plea for saving her from the small talk. 

“So, what do you think of the new girl?”

Loki turned to find Romanoff next to him, leaning up against the bar as she stole a sip from his drink. 

“That was mine.” Loki commented, ignoring her initial statement. A perfect red lipstick print now adorned his glass.

The Black Widow pursed her lips for a moment, glancing up as she seemed to swirl the beverage in her mouth. “An old fashioned - did you order it because you’re old?” Belova teased, appearing next to the Black Widow, who pushed his drink back to him. 

Loki rolled his eyes, though a begrudging smile flickered across his lips.

“What do you think of her?” Romanoff’s gaze returned to the party, taking in the scene. Potts had stepped away, leaving Stark and Theo to continue their tour of guests. 

“She seems… tolerable.” Loki remarked with a small shrug.

“High praise from you,” Romanoff said, still watching the Silver Shadow. 

“I heard she’s already giving Stark a hard time.” Belova leaned in, smirking as she glanced between her peers.

“Stark would certainly benefit from developing a bit of humility,” Loki mused, avoiding the lipstick mark as he took a drink.

Romanoff snickered, while Belova let out a snort of laughter.

“She made you laugh.” Romanoff casually mentioned, studying Loki for a reaction.

Loki simply cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to state whatever her point was.

“She made you laugh, you say she’s tolerable, and you’re over here watching her instead of making your usual rounds. I’d say you’re interested in her,” Romanoff concluded with a smirk.

“Are you not curious about her?” Loki inquired.

“Oh, I’m curious - ” Romanoff snickered, “I’m curious about how someone managed to attract your attention so quickly. Normally you take a while to warm up to people.”

“You’ve not spoken to her yet?” It was a surprising piece of information: Romanoff normally made a point to meet new team members right away.

“No, I haven’t had a chance to.” Romanoff shrugged. “But based on your response to her, I’m clearing time on my calendar and making a point to talk to her.”

“I would have guessed based on her attire that you helped her select her outfit.” Loki contemplated. “It looks very… Romanoff-esque.”

“No - I asked Wanda and she didn’t help either. That was all the new girl. Which reminds me, I want to ask her where she got that jumpsuit. It’s cute.”  Romanoff commented, tapping her chin.

Stark stepped away as Theo engaged in a conversation with a pair of journalists. Despite her polite smiles and nods, it only took a moment for her eyes to start roving the crowd as she chatted, subtly searching around for an out. 

“You gonna go rescue Rapunzel?” Belova teased, noticing the way Theo’s eyes landed on Loki. 

“I thought the Widows were desperate for an opportunity to talk to her.” Loki said, turning around to flag the bartender for a refill.

“Nah, go rescue the princess. After all, you’re a prince.” Romanoff pushed off from the bar, standing up. “If you bring her a drink, I’m sure she’d love it.”

“You say that like I’ve never spoken to a woman before.”

“You’ve picked up plenty of women, and men,” Romanoff clarified, “but given you’ll actually need to talk to her and not just seduce her, I figured you could use a tip or two.” She winked, sauntering into the crowd with sister in tow before Loki could reply.

Damn those women.

As the bartender approached, Loki hesitated - what would she even want to drink? Normally he’d consider wine or champagne, but she didn’t seem like she’d want any of the standard options. 

They had similar styles and personalities; perhaps it was a safe choice to order the same drink as he enjoyed for the evening. 

With the extra beverage in hand, he made his way across the room to Theo.

“… I’m very grateful for the opportunity and the kindness the team has already shown me-” Theo politely answered one of the journalists as Loki arrived. “- Oh! Hey Loki.” She perked up, offering him a warm smile and a slight nod, which he returned. 

Loki turned to the journalists and greeted them, flashing his most charming smile and honeyed pleasantries. They blushed, having warmed up to him over the course of his tenure as an Avenger. As much as he didn’t enjoy the show, he was a stunning performer.

Returning his attention to the newest Avenger, he offered the second beverage to Theo. “With all the speaking you’ve had to engage in this evening, I thought you might appreciate something to drink.”

A grateful smile crossed her face as she accepted the drink. She gave it a sniff and a sip, her smile expanding to a grin as she realized what was in the glass. “Old-Fashioned?”

Loki nodded, impressed that she knew what it was. “Given we seem to have similar taste in apparel, I thought we might also have a similar taste in beverages.”

Theo chuckled, taking another sip. “You’re not wrong.”

Confusion regarding the comment was obvious, based on the narrowed eyes and arched brows that both journalists wore. They glanced between the two Avengers, as if waiting for elaboration.

“When I first met Loki, we unintentionally wore matching outfits,” Theo quickly explained, “right down to the identical shoes.”

“Well, it seems you managed to figure out your outfits so you wouldn’t have the same issue tonight!” One of the journalists replied, eliciting a small, forced smile from Theo. While Loki didn’t find the comment amusing, he also forced a smile to play along.

“Theo, there is someone I would like you to meet.” Loki spoke up, sending a quick wink to the newest Avenger. Turning back to the journalists, he flashed his most dazzling smile. “Would it be alright if I borrowed the guest of honor for a little while? I promise to return her.”

“Of course!” The journalists grinned, falling for the silver tongue’s charm. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Amaris. We look forward to seeing what you accomplish!”

“Thank you, pleasure to meet you as well.” Theo bowed her head with another small smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. The forced smile could have been deemed her trademark expression of the evening. Perhaps she was not keen to be trapped in a room full of strangers.

Loki took her free hand and began to weave through the crowd. Glancing to the side, he slipped through a doorway and down a hall before ducking through another door to a private balcony, pulling Theo behind him the entire time. 

When they arrived, Theo glanced around at the empty balcony and back at Loki, raising an eyebrow in silent question.

“You appeared as though you wanted a reprieve from idle chatter,” Loki explained, dropping her hand. “This is where I escape to when I’ve had more than my fill of Stark’s parties.”

“Ooh, a secret hiding spot!” A grin curled over Theo’s lips, and for the first time all night he saw her eyes light up. “Thanks for the out - this shit was exactly the opposite of how I want to spend my time.”

“Would it surprise you to learn that most of us would rather spend our time anywhere but these insipid gatherings?” Loki said, turning to look out across the city. “I suspect Stark and my oaf of a brother are the only two who truly enjoy these… Events.”

“So why do you do it, then?” The question was asked earnestly, if her expression was anything to go by. “Can’t you just say no?”

“I suppose it would depend…” Loki paused to sip his beverage. “I have sat out my fair share of these gatherings, though they have also been… Beneficial… For my reputation. Generally speaking, I attend these functions so I minimize the incessant blundering and badgering Thor inevitably would subject me to should I refuse.”

“Didn’t peg you as someone who could be bossed around by your brother.” 

There was a hint of teasing in Theo’s comment, but Loki still bristled at her words. “My brother hardly bosses me around, mortal. I simply understand that tolerating these functions serves me well, even if they are not the manner in which I care to pass time.”

Theo snickered, but let the subject fall to the side in favor of amiable silence.

“I’ve been curious to ask - how was it that you came into your magic?”

Crossing her arms, Theo leaned against the balcony rail. “It’s a long story.”

“We’ve all the time in the world.” Loki mirrored her posture, catching her eyes with a sly smile. “I am certainly curious.”

“It involves another realm and a case of mistaken identity.” Theo answered, perhaps a bit too quickly. “You can use your imagination.”

“What realm?” Loki pressed, finding himself rather amused by the way Theo seemed to dodge each of his questions. “It is difficult to imagine unless I have a sense of where it takes place.”

A sigh and rolled eyes were Theo’s initial response. “On a scale from one to ten of topics I’d like to discuss, I’d rather deepthroat a chainsaw than talk about where I came from.” The sarcasm in her comment was amusing, yet it was obvious the subject was uncomfortable.

Loki, sensing that it wouldn’t be a good idea to push the topic, turned to look out across the skyline. “So… not a pleasant location. Duly noted.”

“It’s a story for another time.” Theo flashed a surprisingly haunted, yet grateful smile. She turned back to gaze at the city, keeping her eyes on the skyline in the distance as she continued. “So, Loki, prince of Asgard, god of mischief and trickery… Give me the scoop. Is Sleipnir real?”

Loki nearly fell over laughing from the surprise change of subjects. Of all the questions he’d been asked, Sleipnir was typically a subject most were too afraid to ask of, much less within an initial conversation.

She certainly seemed fearless.

When he finally regained his composure, he turned to find Theo beaming with a quiet pride. 

“Hardly - It was a tale spread for a bet that perhaps was too tantalizing for Midgardians, as they’ve clearly not forgotten it.” A grin curled across his lips, letting a chuckle escape. “However, there are other tales. As a child, I knew just enough to be dangerous…” Loki started, launching into a series of tales from his youth of the tricks he pulled on his brother and the trouble he caused. A sparkle came to his eye as he began to weave imagery of a tiny, doe-eyed and raven-haired Loki causing all kinds of chaos in Asgard. 

He only paused when the pair both laughed so hard that they had to stop and gather themselves, both wiping tears from their eyes.

My heart is breaking for my sister And the con that she called "love" But then I look into my nephew's eyes Man, you wouldn't believe The most amazing things That can come from Some terrible nights

Letting someone else talk was a desperately needed reprieve.

It wasn’t that Theo was out of her element; on the contrary, she was more than comfortable with rubbing elbows with the high and mighty. She’d done this hundreds, no, thousands of times before. Granted, it was a long time ago and in an entirely different place, when everything she understood about the world was almost opposite to how it stood now; regardless, she wasn’t out of practice.

Still, she hadn’t anticipated that her first day as a member of the Avengers would play out quite the way it did. Tony Stark’s ego wasn’t a surprise - he had a head so big it could be seen from another solar system. He was, at least, nice enough to take her around and introduce her to people instead of throwing her straight to the wolves. A Norse god with the personality of a golden retriever talking her ear off as he gave her a tour of the building she’d be living and working in? That was a bit of a surprise. She thought Thor would be more hot-headed and less… cheerful. The eyes of the other Avengers constantly watching her was to be expected - after all, she knew the reputation that preceded her. 

But now, she stood on the balcony of a skyscraper taking in the New York skyline. A different Norse god stood next to her, spinning tales that would sound stranger than fiction if it weren’t for what she’d already seen and what she’d already lived through. 

Loki was harder to read. In the briefing, he seemed amused by Theo. When he was among the group who crashed her show, he regarded her with a certain sharpness that seemed wary, yet intrigued. At her soccer game it seemed like he regarded her with skepticism, not to mention that he looked less than thrilled to be there. 

When Thor barged into the room where Loki was reading on Theo’s tour, she thought Loki was going to stab him until he realized she was present… Perhaps he wasn’t always as charming and witty as she expected. Theo struggled to believe that Loki, the prickly, aloof god, was actually related to Thor, the literal sunshine puppy god, much less that they were brothers. 

Then again, maybe Loki wasn’t so angsty after all. After all, the god of brooding was next to her, a twinkle in his eyes and a grin dangling from his lips as he regaled her with tales of mischief and tomfoolery. Even if some of the tales seemed a bit far-fetched to her, the laughter they coaxed from her was something almost unfamiliar; it had been years since she laughed that hard.

“You know, I have to confess: Thor may be onto something.” Theo had barely gotten her laughter under control before she spoke up.

“Is that so?” Loki’s face sobered as he studied her, waiting for what she would say next.

Theo glanced over at Loki, giving him a nod. “Thor wouldn’t stop extolling your virtues throughout my whole tour. He insisted I get to know you. Any idea why?”

Loki snorted, imagining the thought of Thor harassing their newest team member. “You exaggerate, I’m sure. Still, he can be… overzealous at times.”

“He seemed to think we’d be great friends.” 

Loki’s skepticism was on full display as he studied her, trying to see if she was lying.

“Well, you’re out here with me after rescuing me from small-talk hell, you brought me one of my favorite drinks based on a gut instinct, clearly we have a similar style, and we both wield magic…” Theo pointed out, holding up her drink as if to make a point. “So maybe it’s not as overzealous as you think.” 

“Touché,” Loki agreed, though it was strangely reluctant. “I… used to ruffle people’s feathers.” His voice got quieter and lost some of its bravado. “Thor worried I would never find friends due to past transgressions, or grow accustomed to life on Midgard. While that may no longer be the case, I suspect he still worries; it is likely why he still drags me out with him.” 

Of the answers Theo was expecting, that… wasn’t it. Maybe some clever quip about Thor wanting to set his brother up with someone so he’d stop giving Thor shit about dating a mortal, or something funny. This seemed… almost a little too personal.

Time for a change in subject.

“Tell me another story - What was the best prank you’ve played on Tony Stark?”

That was all it took for Loki to perk up and launch into another elaborate story that led to side-splitting laughter.

Perhaps the golden retriever god was onto something - maybe they would be good friends.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

The other night, you wouldn't believe The dream I just had about you and me I'd called you up, but we both agreed It's for the best you didn't listen It's for the best we keep our distance, oh For the best, you didn't listen It's for the best we keep our distance, oh

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 2: And You Have Every Right to be Scared

Summary: Theo ends up on SHIELD's Radar. Loki ponders his place among the Midgardians.

Author's Notes: First chapter with Theo POV! This is a much lighter chapter than the last one. Hoping to post Ch. 3 on 10/22, but it depends on how helping my parents move next weekend goes (I have it written, but having the time to post is another thing. If you enjoy, please reblog!

Content Warnings: None!

Word Count: 3,843

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Some Nights (Intro) - fun.

There are some nights I hold on to every note I ever wrote Some nights, I say "fuck it all" and stare at the calendar Waiting for catastrophes, imagining they'd scare me Into changing whatever it is I am changing into... And you have every right to be scared

It was really easy for Theo to pretend there wasn’t a sudden infestation of shadow creatures attacking Earth until she was locked in a dirty subway car beneath New York City with a horde of them.

Sure, she saw the recent news reports about their appearance in New York, not to mention the videos of different organizations struggling to fight them. Hell, at work she had treated some of the people who came into the Emergency Room after getting into a tussle with the little terrors. However, she was perfectly content to ignore the reports, the calls from Nick Fury, the stalking by Maria Hill, and the pestering by her Mémère to put her abilities to use by helping eradicate the beasts. 

Nick Fury may have done her family a favor a while back, but they already repaid it tenfold. It was no secret that he always kept tabs on Theo, but she assumed it had less to do with him calling on a favor and more with ensuring someone with abilities like hers was always monitored. 

If anything, the more Fury insisted on cornering Theo “to talk,” the more it seemed like Nick Fury had forgotten that Theo swore off everything affiliated with her powers. Theo was a civilian. She left that life behind, trading it in for stethoscopes and scrubs, and she was not about to go back. There was nothing that the Director of SHIELD could offer her that would change her mind. Besides, the hippocratic oath specified that Theo would do no harm, and if she really wanted to push Fury’s buttons, she could argue that the oath could apply to shadow creatures, even if they were eldritch horrors.

Well, that was what Theo told herself. In reality, she was content to ignore the shadow creature problem until a pack of the little monsters barged through the steel door of a subway car, snarling and slithering and reeking of death. Running crossed her mind, until one of the damn demons launched itself at Fran, the little old woman with the perfectly permed hair and smoker voice who always rode the subway back from her poker night at the same time that Theo was on her way home from work. 

Hippocratic oath be damned, Theo was not about to let Fran die right after she won $200 from Eddie (who from what Fran had told her over the course of many train rides, sounded like an absolute asshole). Fran needed to live so she could celebrate, which meant the beasts needed to go, and Theo was the only one around with the skills to exterminate them. 

A bit of strategic maneuvering among the chaos ensured that no one saw Theo activate her powers. Not even five minutes later, the subway car floor was littered with the dust of what was once the pests; she may have chosen to abstain from fighting, but after all that time combat still came to Theo like it was second nature. When all was said and done she slipped into the crowds, deactivated her powers, and returned to the scene, pretending to be just as shocked as everyone else.

In the days following the confrontation, the video of her singlehandedly obliterating the entire pack had gone viral. Even though Theo’s powers altered her appearance so a casual acquaintance could not identify her, anyone who knew about her little secret would instantly recognize her. Unfortunately, Fury and Maria were among the select few who knew exactly what they were looking at. After the video got out, the pair were somehow even more incessant in their attempts to speak to Theo, to the extent that she had to start relying on back doors and climbing out her fire escape to avoid them.

When the other members of the cover band Theo played in noticed her aversion to taking the main exits, they assumed she had a stalker. It certainly didn’t help that there was now a table of middle aged men in suits at every bar gig, standing out like a sore thumb amidst the younger, more casually dressed regulars. The only reason they didn’t call the police was because she eventually made up the claim that Stark Industries was recruiting her for their hospital that they just opened in Avengers Tower, so she was trying to make it less obvious to the people around her that she was being observed.

As far as lies went, it was terrible  - certainly not one of her best - but somehow they believed it.

It was a bit harder to avoid the SHIELD agents when she was at soccer practice. They sat in their vehicles, parked far enough away that none of the other players noticed. Sure, it made Theo wonder if there were times other creeps sat there watching their practices, but she never brought it up. Her team had just qualified to play in their rec league championship, so they needed to stay focused. 

A week after having to talk her bandmates out of calling the cops, Theo came home from a bar show to find Maria Hill accompanied by a collection of SHIELD agents in her apartment. The stalking was one thing, but entering her private space? Theo was moments away from banishing them to an alternate dimension, even if it meant she’d be in deep shit later on. 

Before Theo could unleash her temper on the uninvited house guests, Maria uttered a phrase so startling that even Theo was rendered speechless. 

“Director Fury wants to speak with you immediately - it’s about your parents and your sister.”

Cause there are some nights I hold you close, pushing you to hold me Or begging you to lock me up, never let me see the world Some nights, I live in horror of people on the radio Tea parties and Twitter, I've never been so bitter…

Two decades prior, had one inquired whether Loki could imagine himself living his life anywhere besides Asgard, Loki would have laughed at the preposterous nature of the statement. 

In his naivety, he believed Asgard to be the golden realm, the very definition of a Utopia - why would one wish to live anywhere else? Certainly, other realms had their charms - Vanaheim’s lush landscapes always provided a peaceful retreat, and visiting Midgard to cause lighthearted chaos was a childhood pastime for both Loki and Thor - but why would one ever wish to live anywhere other than the realm of the Gods themselves? 

As he sliced through another of what could best be described as “shadow beasts,” it occurred to Loki that the Norns had a rather cruel sense of humor. How else would he be in his current position, residing upon and working alongside the Midgardians to protect a realm which he was once sent to conquer? That morning, he was summoned to fend off a multiversal threat unlike anything he’d encountered among his many travels. The day before, he represented New Asgard at an international summit on environmentally sustainable food production practices. He had lived upon Midgard for over half a decade, with no sign of leaving any time soon.

Had someone informed younger Loki of what the fates had in store, he would have collapsed to the ground in a fit of relentless, all-consuming laughter which was so intense that one might think him mad. 

Alas, Asgard was no more. The few Aesir who survived Ragnarok were brought to Midgard, to establish a new civilization on the very land where Odin uttered his final words. No sooner had the Aesir landed on Midgard were they called into battle, facing off with the Mad Titan himself, Thanos, as well as the Black Order. More Aesir perished in a truly intergalactic battle which barely succeeded in preventing the Titan from achieving his goal - eliminating 50% of all living creatures in the universe. 

When the dust settled, the once mighty Aesir were reduced to a mere shadow of their former glory. They struggled to make sense of the tragedy, to attempt to rebuild without any of the tools which allowed the Aesir to thrive in the construction of Asgard. 

The initial reaction to Loki’s presence in the realm he once terrorized was not kind. Had it not been for Thor’s advocacy and Banner’s testament that Loki was acting under duress when he attacked New York, Loki would have been banished from the realm, if not outright executed. Whether he deserved his brother’s arduous defense, Loki was skeptical, but without an alternative for where he would go or what he would do, Loki was forced to accept the support.

Selfishly, he was grateful for his brother’s foolish sentiment, though he would rather hug Sutur than admit it aloud.

Preparing the Midgardians for what to expect when Thanos would inevitably arrive, as well as fighting alongside the Midgardians to defeat Thanos brought a tenuous truce. He no longer endured harassment when venturing beyond New Asgard, but scandalized whispers followed him as if they were the shadow of his legacy - a legacy of destruction, of embodying the monster which parents told their children of at night, of betraying those who he claimed to love. Those nearby would put forth a concerted effort to avoid crossing paths with the trickster, providing him a wide berth wherever he went.  

While the Midgardians were unafraid to hide their distrust, the attitudes which the Aesir held towards Loki were more difficult to ascertain. Perhaps they were conflicted; the time which Loki posed as Odin was among the most peaceful and prosperous that the realm had known, though it was at the cost of banishing the Allfather to a care home on Midgard. Banishing the Allfather led to Odin’s passing, which brought the return of Hela, and eventually caused Ragnarok. Though prophesied, it was not a stretch to argue that Loki’s actions served as the catalyst for the demise of thousands. And while Loki ensured the salvation and evacuation of many Aesir by piloting the Statesman to Asgard, it never should have reached such a state where evacuation was necessary. Sure, he unleashed Sutur and ultimately ended Ragnarok, but that was simply a matter of finishing what he started. 

Then there was Loki’s involvement with the interruption of Thor’s coronation, the invasion of Jotunheim, the banishment of Thor, and the killing of his father, Laufey. All of which led to his involvement with the Mad Titan and the Black Order - a time which Loki had no interest in revisiting, but caused irreparable harm to many people and multiple realms. And though most were unaware, Loki could be traced back to the death of Frigga - had he not informed Kursed where to find Jane, the Allmother would have remained alive. He may have nearly sacrificed himself to protect Jane Foster, but one heroic moment was nowhere near the atonement required for his past actions.

The search for atonement was how Loki found himself fighting alongside Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. 

It had been Thor’s idea. The oaf believed that joining the Avengers would cast Loki in a positive light and improve his reputation, which would be important if he were to remain on Midgard and ruling New Asgard by Thor’s side. Additionally, joining the Avengers would provide the younger prince with a means by which to continue practicing magic, as well as access to knowledge and resources which might satisfy Loki’s more scholarly nature.

The case Thor put forth was not terrible; perhaps a lesser being would have been swayed. However, neither of the reasons he provided were the cause of Loki relenting to the constant pestering about assisting the Heroes.

Loki viewed the agreement to join the Avengers as reparations, or paying his penance. He did not expect the Avengers to welcome a villain into their midst, much less a monster - he certainly was no hero. If anything, he expected them to view him as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. They would be civil towards the Asgardian, and in exchange he would provide whatever assistance they needed while maintaining a safe distance.

That was years ago. In recent days, Thor swore the Midgardians had come to love Loki, though Loki was hardly convinced. Sure, the Midgardians no longer made a point to avoid the younger prince wherever he went; if he was out in public with Thor, from time to time a passerby would approach and ask for a photo with the trickster instead of the God of Thunder. The media relished opportunities to interview the God of Mischief, during which he turned on his charm and played the reporters like a fiddle. It was all a show. Loki knew that it was a facade, an illusion - a part he played in the elaborate scheme of things. Still, there were moments where he allowed himself to dwell on what it might be like to truly belong, to know he was not alone. 

A flash of movement in the corner of his vision caught Loki’s attention. He turned to find Maximoff unleashing a blast of chaos magic on a pack of the eldritch vermin which had overrun the streets as of late. She offered a bright smile and wave; Loki allowed one corner of his lips to quirk upward as he nodded at her. 

Even if his responsibility was little more than to play a part, there was something to be said for the recent challenge which occupied the Avengers’ time. Shadow creatures, for lack of a better term, randomly started appearing in New York, attacking random civilians and destroying anything they touched. 

In the many years since Loki had adopted Midgard as his place of residence, never had he encountered a situation quite like this. All efforts to identify the origin of the beings had been futile. The creatures were not like anything encountered by any of the Avengers, Loki included, and even among the seemingly endless supply of information available to the Avengers, no record of similar creatures appeared anywhere. The magical aura which emanated from the creatures was quite distinct from anything Loki had encountered before.

And yet, the prospect of a challenge that not only required skill in battle, but a certain intellectual pedigree brought a spark that he had not felt in quite some time. Perhaps it was an antidote to the drudgery. 

Or, perhaps it was a chance to prove to himself that he was in fact worthy of the title of “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.” 

He didn’t dare dwell on the thought.

And you, why you wanna stay? Oh my God! Have you listened to me lately? Lately, I've been going crazy... And you, why you wanna stay? Oh my God! Have you listened to me lately? Lately, I've been fucking crazy...

She must have lost her mind.

Flanked by a pair of SHIELD security guards, Theo cursed herself for agreeing to go with Maria. Really, she must have lost her mind - that was the only reasonable explanation that Theo could come up with for her lapse in judgment. After all, everyone in her immediate family was dead, and they had been dead for a long time. If she couldn’t bring back the dead, there was no way that anyone affiliated with SHIELD could. 

What could Nick Fury possibly want to speak with Theo about regarding her parents and her sister that hadn’t been discussed long ago?

When she considered the situation, it was more realistic to assume that there was probably some treaty that Theo broke by using her power. Given she wouldn’t come willingly, they must have realized they needed to lure her out so they could lock her up - even if the Sokovia Accords were no longer enforced, it didn’t mean people were still a bit put off by anyone with… abilities. Again, another reason why she had no interest in using her powers.

Along the cool tile floor, Theo’s black oxford shoes clicked with each step. The sound echoed off the sterile halls, while harsh fluorescent lights illuminated the path forward. Staring ahead, Theo had to stop herself from snickering when she realized Fury’s bald head actually shined under the light, as if he polished it for the occasion. 

What would happen if Theo told them she changed her mind? Would they grab her and drag her into whatever interrogation room they undoubtedly had set up for her? Would they skip the interrogation and toss her into a cell? Or would they let her slip away?

Probably the first option. Maybe the second. The third was laughable. This was SHIELD they were talking about; they probably had some kind of ward on the entire compound to restrict any special abilities.

No, it was too late - she had come too far, and she couldn’t turn back. She may as well play along and see what they wanted. If nothing else came from it, she was curious to see what on earth would be related to her family.

Then again, Curiosity killed the cat… or some shit like that. 

Well, nothing managed to kill her yet, so it was safe to say that curiosity probably wouldn’t be her cause of death.

Arriving at their destination, Maria scanned her badge to unlock the steel door. Fury entered first, not even offering a nod of acknowledgement to Maria. With a tense smile, Maria gestured for Theo to enter next. Theo forced the closest thing she could offer to a smile before following suit.

Based on the hallway they just exited, Theo expected an interrogation room to await her. Instead, she was greeted by black leather chairs with high backs, which surrounded a relatively small table constructed from metal and glass. A projector dropped down from the ceiling, pointed at a screen on the opposite end of the room. There were no windows. Pale gray walls echoed the metal finishes found throughout the rest of the SHIELD facility.

A conference room. 

“Sit.” Fury gestured to a chair, though he didn’t make any effort to sit himself.

Keeping her eyes trained on the director, Theo cautiously lowered herself into the seat.

“I thought you were done fighting.” Fury began, crossing his arms and glaring at Theo. 

“I thought you could control your interplanetary invasions better, but if it’s between having to fight versus watching little old Fran get ripped to shreds, I’m protecting Fran.” Leaning back in her seat, Theo crossed her arms and returned Fury’s glare. “You know that I want nothing to do with this, so why won’t you leave me alone?”

“We understand that you want to be a civilian, but you know more about shadow creatures and the world they come from than anyone else,” Maria answered, taking a seat across from Theo and folding her hands together atop the table. “We wouldn’t be trying to enlist you if we felt we had other options to stop them.”

“So you lied about having something I needed to know about my family so you could get me down here and beg me to help?” An incredulous laugh snuck out of Theo as she shook her head. “That’s low, even for SHIELD–”

“Your parents and your sister are alive.”

With seven words, Nick Fury rendered Theo speechless. 

It wasn’t possible; there was no way they were alive. Theo was there - she saw their blood spilled on the cobblestone streets, empty eyes reflecting back a city engulfed in flames. Their final cries still rang in her ears on the darkest nights.

Searching his face for proof that he was trying to trick her, Theo only found the harsh glare and narrowed eyes that the director cast at everyone around him. 

Fire coursed through Theo’s veins at the audacity of Fury’s claim; that he believed he could fool her was almost enough to make her leave right then and there. 

“Bullshit.” Theo clenched her jaw, her hands balled into fists as they remained in her lap. “You know as well as I do that they were killed in the massacre—”

“Proof.” To make his point, Fury slapped a manila folder down in front of Theo. “They may have been in the massacre, but they weren’t killed.”

Biting back her ire at Fury for the moment, Theo turned her attention to the contents of the folder. Photos, partially redacted communication records, measurements of their magical signatures, all relatively recent - her mother, her father, and her sister. 

An avalanche of thoughts cascaded in Theo’s mind. If this was the case - if they were really alive, how did they survive? Where were they now? Why hadn’t they tried to contact Theo, or Mémère, or the council? 

Theo drew in a deep breath, holding it for a five-count, then released it slowly.

“This doesn’t make sense,” She said, scanning over the documents yet again. “If you know they’re alive, where are they? Why aren’t they here?” 

“Here’s the deal: you help us with the shadow creature invasion, and we’ll help you reunite with your family.” Rather than answer Theo’s question, Fury leaned forward, folding his hands together and resting them on the table. “Work with the Avengers to investigate and eliminate whoever’s at the center of these invasions. If you do, once you’re reunited with your family, we’ll leave you alone.” 

“Wow, that seems rather manipulative, don’t you think?” Theo drawled, her tone unapologetically sharp as she glared at the pair of SHIELD agents across from her. “Withholding my family from me in exchange for my services?”

“We’ll need to work together in order to reach your family anyways,” Maria pointed out with a small shrug.

“You help us, we’ll help you.” Fury pressed.

Some people believed in fate. Some people believed in destiny. Theo didn’t believe in either - while she had been placed in positions where it seemed like she had no choice more times than she could count, she knew that she, ultimately, was the one who decided her path forward. At times, the decisions were obvious, but there were plenty of decisions made that kept Theo up at night. 

This was one decision she was not ready to make.

“Give me two days to think it over,” Theo countered. “I’ll find you when I’ve made up my mind.”

Two days was reasonable - she needed time to do some research of her own, figure out what parts of the situation Fury was holding off on telling her, and weigh the risks of agreeing to the proposal. 

Then again, if they were alive… What did she have to lose?

There are some nights I wait for someone to save us But I never look inward, try not to look upward And some nights I pray a sign is gonna come to me But usually, I'm just trying to get some sleep... Some nights!

Tag list: @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @thedistractedagglomeration @lokisgoodgirl @simplyholl @mochie85 @coldnique @lokixryss @gigglingtiggerv2 @infinitystoner @loopsisloops @mischief2sarawr @crzyplantladyvibes @buttercupcookies-blog @vickie5446 @wolfsmom1 @sarahscribbles @loki-cees-all @the-lady-amphitrite @tripleyeeet - let me know if you want to be added!

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 18: You Were in the Darkness, Too

Summary: The aftermath of the attack on the Metropolitan Museum of Art. 

Author’s Note: So… I meant to post a chapter two days ago, then Sunday morning I woke up and was like “nope I need to re-do some of this because I think it’ll be better if a certain event happens ‘on screen,’ so to speak.” Long story short, two days later, here we are! I feel like Oprah - “you get world building, you get back story reveal, you get plot progression, you get super self-indulgent hurt-comfort (maybe a bit more hurt in this chapter, but have no fear there is LOADS more comfort where this came from)!” 

Another random note - back when I started posting snippets on the beloved hellsite, this song initially was set with an entirely different chapter. Then I concluded it worked much better here. So if you have been around for long enough that you’re like “hold up a minute!” when you see the song and what happens here, that’s why. Tbh, I think most of the songs that were paired up with chapters have changed since I initially posted snippets. That’s the beauty of drafts, I guess? Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to the tag list!

Contents: Descriptions of vomiting, in relation to describing a migraine. Nightmares. Tears. Loki being the actual MVP. 

Word Count: 5,913

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

A falling star fell from your heart And landed in my eyes I screamed aloud as it tore through them And now it’s left me blind

Some types of pain could be relieved with medicine.

Others… not so much.

From the moment Theo found Chris outside of the Met, standing amidst the crowd of attendees in a makeshift triage area that had been set up by blocking off 5th Avenue, she could sense a difference in the way he looked at her. He didn’t rush towards her; instead, he approached slowly, scanning over her appearance with wide eyes and the color actively draining from his face. When they met in the middle, Chris reached out as if he wanted to embrace Theo, but he froze with hands hovering inches away from her body, as if he was afraid to touch her.  

Even as Theo promised she was fine and that Chris shouldn’t worry – even as she checked him over, asking if he was okay, the short, half-hearted answers and the cold, wary look in his eyes didn’t diminish; instead of embracing her, he lowered his arms and stepped back, putting even more distance between them. 

He looked at her the same way the council looked at her: as an abomination, a curse. 

The exchange, however, was cut short - one of the medics employed by Stark to work with the Avengers spotted Theo and rushed over to request her help treating some of the most critical patients, who otherwise would not survive transport to the nearest hospital. 

So, Theo pushed the raw ache that settled in her chest to the back of her mind, ignored the churning of her stomach and the pounding in her skull, and set about treating the worst of the injuries, even if it meant she would blow past her limits and pay the price later on. There was a physical cost to using magic, and with healing that cost was much higher - particularly when the scope of healing required was practically bringing someone back from the dead. 

However, between someone dying or inducing a migraine from overexertion of magic, Theo would choose the migraine every time. At least when she healed, some good could come from her magic. Did it make her suffer? Yes, but she probably deserved it after everything.

And boy, she was suffering.

By the time she left, the only people who remained beyond the emergency response crews were paparazzi, lurking around the perimeter like predators stalking prey as they attempted to capture glimpses of the aftermath. They pounced at the sight of Theo, bloodied and drained after what was meant to be a celebratory occasion turned to a nightmare. Each burst of flash felt like an icepick to her skull and left her wishing she had enough energy to teleport herself home. Theo lifted one hand in a futile attempt to block some of the light, only for the shouting of the photographers to ricochet through her eardrums and into her skull. 

How Theo survived the ride back to the tower without throwing up from motion sickness, she wasn’t sure. By some miracle she made it back to her suite, only to make it a few steps inside the door before the nausea and sensitivity to light and sound made her beeline for the bathroom, scolding herself for her earlier recklessness as she dove for the toilet and prepared to empty the contents of her stomach. 

Over the sound of her retching, Theo didn’t hear her phone ring. Because her head was buried in the porcelain bowl of the toilet, she didn’t see the screen light up with Chris’s name. 

As the nausea faded, Theo remained firmly in place, bent over the toilet bowl with both arms stretched across the top of the toilet seat. Once she knew she wasn’t going to be sick, Theo carefully eased herself down to lay on the floor, having spent the last of her energy throwing up. 

Laying in her bed would have been more pleasant, but the thought of moving sent waves of churning heat through Theo’s stomach and made her entire body ache. Besides, the cool tile felt great against her uncomfortably warm skin and it was tolerable enough for her to pass out without even realizing she’d done so.

It was the vibration of Theo’s phone rattling on the floor that dragged her back to the world of the living, only to find she somehow felt even worse than when she passed out earlier. In her half-asleep stupor, Theo clumsily grabbed the phone from where she had tossed it as an afterthought. A wince snuck out as the light of the screen stabbed through Theo’s head; she squinted, trying to make sense of the contents on the screen.

The culprit was a text from Wanda, stating “you okay??”  and then including what looked like a link. But Theo didn’t open the text right away - a different notification on her lock screen caught her eye. A voicemail from Chris, from right around the time Theo got back to the tower, elicited a sense of foreboding dread from Theo that she couldn’t ignore.

With shaking fingers, Theo unlocked her phone and went to her voicemail. She selected the message, relying on the speech to text feature to read the contents of the message instead of listening.

“Hey, it’s Chris. I’d been hoping you would answer, but I guess it is what it is. Look, I’ve been thinking - I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I know it’s cliché, but I mean it when I say it’s not you - it’s me.”

Even if Theo knew it was coming, reading the words still made her sick to her stomach. 

“I know that you’ll always have to put your work as an Avenger first - I’ve always known that. I wouldn’t ask you to try and choose between being an Avenger and our relationship. But tonight, I saw you fighting, and I realized what it really means to date an Avenger, and– it’s too much. I can’t do it. If there’s stuff you left at my apartment, I’ll send it back to you. I’m sorry, Theo. Take care.”

Theo barely finished reading the transcription before bile clawed up from her stomach. She gagged, scrambling to her knees and barely managing to get into position before she threw up, this time expelling nothing but stomach acid in the process. 

Between the cramping of her abdominal muscles, the burning in her throat, the pounding in her skull, the uncomfortable heat of her skin, and the aches radiating from her bones, Theo was miserable enough. The voicemail, however - that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

A gasp escaped from Theo before she could stop it, then a whimper. Her eyes were leaking - no, water poured from them. She tried to cover her face with her hands as a whine escaped her throat, but she couldn’t stop the sobs that shook her entire body. Moving was painful - crying was painful - but the ache inside of her was far worse than any physical discomfort.

She should have known it would end like this. This was always what happened when people got to know her - they realized she was no good, and then they abandoned her. Thinking this time would be any different was stupid. Even if she told herself that whatever she had with Chris was nothing serious, it didn’t make the fact that he saw her for the curse she was, and he left.

They always leave.

And the worst part? Theo wasn’t angry at Chris for leaving. As much as she hated when the council looked at her like the curse she was, she could understand why. Her family deserved better. The Aneterrans deserved better. They all deserved better than her. 

Chris didn’t know the extent of the bullet he dodged, but he knew enough to make the smart decision and leave before he got hurt.  

By the time the tears stopped, Theo felt like a mess through and through. She didn’t even want to think about what she looked like - eyes swollen, hair tangled, makeup smudged, her skin still sticky with dried blood, and her armor torn from fighting. 

She needed a shower, and then a real bed.

As tempting as it was to lay back down on the floor and continue to wallow, the desire to feel less disgusting won out. 

Theo sat on the floor as she peeled the layers of armor off her body, only standing when she absolutely had to in order to remove her pants. The addition of vertigo meant that she spent most of the short time beneath the spray of cool water leaning against a wall, eventually sliding down to sit on the shower floor when her legs grew too tired to support her weight. 

The process of drying and dressing in pajamas required multiple pauses - one to be sick again, the others a result of aching limbs and muscles trembling from prolonged exertion. It took a herculean effort, but Theo finally made it to her bed, falling asleep before she even had a chance to pull the covers over herself.

The stars, the moon, They have all been blown out You left me in the dark No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight In the shadow of your heart

Once a bustling metropolis, Meridia had been known for its opulence and innovation. The streets were packed with vendors peddling their latest inventions and entertainers attempting to woo the staff of the royal court in hopes of securing an audience with the king and queen. 

That Meridia was no more.

Theo stood in the center of a barren flagstone street, blanketed in the dark of a new moon. Broken glass clung to the window frames of weathered stone buildings long-abandoned, just one trace of the city’s descent into madness. Adjusting her mask, Theo pressed forward, relying on muscle memory to carry her into the underbelly of the city she once called home. 

Theo used to sneak onto those very streets with her cousins, placing bets on which performers would successfully charm whoever was tasked with the day’s errands. Sneaking amongst the city was how Theo first learned her governess had a crush with the Apothecary’s son, always traveling to him whenever she needed some sort of potion or supplies for Theo’s lessons. Theo also once caught Ravenna performing to a crowd while in disguise, though Theo immediately recognized her sister and used the knowledge as blackmail. If she listened close enough, she could hear faint traces of musicians’ voices in the wind.

A chill wracked her body. 

Throughout the streets, navy fog shimmered, emitting an iridescent glow as it weaved in and out of the alleys around her. When she left, this neighborhood had yet to be tainted by the arcane fog that had come to be known as the haze.  An orange glow and billowing smoke in the distance highlighted the silhouette of a broken skyline.

Even after all these years, the ruins had yet to stop burning.

The city was but a shadow of what it once was.

This was no longer the Meridia that Theo remembered, much less the Aneterra that Theo hoped to one day return to. 

Instinct led her down alleys and side streets, through what once were lush court gardens bursting with exotic blooms as she reached the rear of her destination. Dead vines of Ivy still clung to once-pristine stone walls; cracks in the weathered glass window panes only hinted at what Theo might find inside. Careful to avoid drawing attention to herself, Theo lurked in the shadows as she made her way round to the front of a building she once knew in and out, the place that she reminisced about on cold nights when the winds of winter rattled her windows as a girl in Michigan. 

Somehow, the front door - crafted of thick lumber and held together with intricate metalwork that reflected the status of the home’s former residents - hadn’t been destroyed in the massacre. 

Theo started to push the door open, but stopped short. She hadn’t been there since the night of the massacre, when she thought she lost everything. Even if Fury was right - even if Theo’s parents and sister were alive - they weren’t the only people Theo lost that night. The possibility that Theo might discover their remains just beyond the door was one she had to be ready to face.

Theo drew in a deep breath, steeled herself, and pushed the door open.

The creaking of worn hinges echoed through what once had been a grand foyer. A thick layer of dust coated the overturned furniture and picture frames along the walls, askew from the chaos of the massacre.

Theo’s boots clicked along the marble floor, each cautious step percolating through the air. The further she ventured into the room, the stronger the sense became that she was not alone.

Before her, a grand staircase curved up to the second floor, drawing the eye towards the massive windows which previously made the foyer feel particularly grand. In the dark, however, Theo couldn’t even tell if the glass remained in place, or if fighting had destroyed those windows too. 

Without consciously thinking about it, Theo crept towards the stairs and began to climb. Halfway up the stairs, Theo swore she saw a silhouette amongst the shadows cast by the window frame. Curiosity spurred her forward, past the top of the stairs.

Someone stood just in front of the window, looking out onto the ruins with their back towards Theo. They wore a black cloak, its cape brushing against the stone floor as it obscured the individual’s identity. 

As Theo drew near, they made no effort to look back and see who was there; as far as Theo could tell, they didn’t even seem to recognize she was there. With only a few feet between them, Theo opened her mouth and took a deep breath, ready to speak–

“...So…” The figure turned around, hands adorned with runes reaching out from beneath the cloak to lower the hood and reveal themselves to Theo. “... You are alive.”

Theo knew that voice like she knew her own name.

Ravenna stood before Theo, piercing lavender eyes filled with ice as she regarded her younger sister. Inky black hair tumbled over her shoulder, stopping just below her chest. Despite the lack of light, her skin cast a soft glow.

“Rae—“ Theo took a jarring step forward, only for her sister to step back.

“After all this time, you wander back here.” A bitter laugh escaped the elder sister. “What, are you here to save the day? We needed that years ago.”

“No, Rae–” Theo tried, “I had no idea—“

“No idea – what, we would still be here? Still fighting?” Ravenna spat, taking another step back. “Of course you wouldn’t - you brought this on us, why would you bother to try and fix it?”

She was the curse.

“No, Rae, please–” Theo extended a hand to her sister, desperate to plead her case. “I’m trying to get back so I can help–”

And in the dark  I can feel your heartbeat I tried to find the sound But then it stopped And I was in the darkness So darkness I became

Theo awoke with a jolt, drenched in sweat and gasping for air. The sudden movement sent a wave of aches rolling through her limbs while her pounding heart throbbed between her temples.

Dreams of Aneterra were nothing new, but the nightmare was different from anything she had seen before. This wasn’t seeing the world from someone else’s perspective, or watching like a third party; it was as if she had actually been there.

It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare - she had experienced plenty of them before. It didn’t take a witch to know that this wasn’t a premonition or a vision - this was a manifestation of her worst fears. There was no reason to give this particular nightmare any merit - her anxieties were unfounded, at least according to Memere.

But this one felt particularly vivid, and it was hard to shake.

Just the thought of her sister’s anger brought another round of overwhelming nausea. Throwing off the covers, Theo nearly tripped over herself as she bolted for the bathroom. She shoved the door open and stumbled inside, wincing at the crash of the door handle slamming against the wall. Collapsing to the bathroom floor, she barely managed to get her head over the toilet before throwing up. 

Despite the minuscule amount of bile, she continued to retch and gag for a couple minutes; it was as though her body was convinced something else was still in there, even though there was absolutely no way in hell that Theo hadn’t already emptied her stomach many times over. 

Completely spent, Theo closed her eyes and slumped against the toilet, temple pressing against the cool porcelain of the tank. Even without her eyes open, the ground beneath her tilted and swayed like she was on a boat during stormy seas.

God, she was a mess.

“Are you alright?”

Theo’s head snapped up towards the voice, only for her to wrench her eyes shut and groan as a fresh round of misery bashed in her skull. When the worst of it passed, Theo cracked her eyes open, blearily peering up through the dark to find Loki standing in her bathroom, staring at her as if she was a ghost.

“What’re you doing here?” The question slipped out, her exhaustion and malaise resulting in a far too blunt delivery.

“I had been on my way to the sitting room when I heard crashing come from inside your quarters; when you did not respond to my knocking, I grew worried and came inside…”

It took a moment for Theo to register what Loki had said, but when it finally clicked, she burst into uncontrollable tears. 

I took the stars from my eyes And then I made a map And knew that somehow I could find my way back Then I heard your heart beating You were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you…

Of all the things Loki expected in life, attempting to console a truly distraught Theo at three in the morning while sitting on her bathroom floor was nowhere among them.

And yet, that was exactly where he found himself - cross-legged on the marble tile as he cradled Theo in his lap, her face buried in his chest as she wept with such vigor that her entire body shook. 

Loki replayed the series of events that led to his present position. 

Like many nights, it began because of his inability to sleep. What was rare, however, was that his insomnia was not the result of some night terror, some monster that left his mind running in circles as if it were a dog chasing its tail. 

No, he had been quite content when he settled into his bed, his well-worn copy of The Eye of the World in hand for some light reading. Yet, instead of dozing off to thoughts of Moiraine Damodred and her search for the Dragon Reborn, his mind wandered back to the attack on the Met Gala.

Theo had been the only one to successfully defeat one of the mystery beings that had been discovered, revealing an ability to control the shadow creatures that continued to antagonize Midgard. The carnage left behind, however, indicated that the being proved to be quite a challenge - beyond the mess in the gallery, Theo walked away from the exchange with no shortage of wounds that would require a healer to address.

Still, she hadn’t returned to the tower with the other Avengers. Instead, she insisted on ensuring her beloved actor was safe and seeing if any victims needed care - all the while acting as if she herself was not actively bleeding from multiple parts of her body.

Selfless, stubborn creature.

From there, his mind shifted to the being who had wrought such havoc. In the immediate aftermath of the attack, there had not been much opportunity to examine the corpse before it was whisked away by SHIELD agents for further study; what he had been able to discern remained fairly generic. Humanoid in form, though the shriveled appearance of their flesh gave the impression of some type of undead creature. Spider-like black veins stretched beneath their skin, as if they had been poisoned or cursed in some manner.

Yet, he hadn’t seen anything quite like it.

At that point, Loki accepted his fate: he was nowhere near sleeping. 

With that in mind, he scoured his book shelves for one of the tomes he rescued from Asgard during Ragnarok - one that he referenced from time to time, usually when SHIELD requested his insight regarding creatures that Midgard had never seen before. Leatherbound book in hand, Loki began the familiar venture to the sitting room for a sleepless night of research.

Until heavy, syncopated footsteps and a muffled crash from the next room over stopped Loki dead in his tracks.

A heavy thud, as if multiple heavy objects had been dropped simultaneously, followed. The sound came from within Theo’s quarters - a realization which only brought an increased pulse and a festering sense of dread.

Loki approached her door, rapping his knuckles on the dark wood. “Theo?”

He pressed his ear to the door, listening for any signs of movement. If he strained, he thought he heard some sound - coughing, maybe? - but nothing indicating movement.

A twist of the doorknob indicated that it had not been locked. Before he fully thought the decision through, Loki pressed the door open. He slipped inside, carefully navigating the pitch black as he began to search for Theo. 

Though Theo’s space was never perfectly clean, the sitting room appeared as if nothing had been knocked over or disturbed. The sense of urgency grew as he explored further, knowing that such a racket followed by such silence never had benign origins. 

A painful-sounding retch came from the direction of Theo’s bathroom, followed by a groan.

Loki strode towards the sound, careful to remain quiet in case something foul was afoot.

He rounded the corner to find the bathroom door wide open, revealing Theo hunched over the basin of the toilet as if she had just been sick to her stomach. 

The pieces fell into place - he must have heard her running to the restroom and throwing the door open.

When she finished, she slumped down a bit, eyes closed as she laid her head along the seat, breathing as if she had finished a grueling training routine. 

Though Theo had clearly showered since her return, she somehow appeared even worse for wear than the last time Loki saw her. Her complexion rivaled that of a ghost. Her eyes, though closed, appeared red and swollen, lashes glistening despite the darkness. Wrinkled pajamas twisted around her body in a rather unnatural fashion; combined with an absolutely disheveled braid, Loki guessed she’d been tossing and turning in her sleep.

Loki stood there for a moment, completely dumbfounded. Should he say something? What would he say? After waiting this long, would it scare her? Would saying something make things worse? If he didn’t say something, would she think he was a creep? Should he just leave?

At one point, he stopped himself and nearly laughed. He was Loki, of Asgard. How a Midgardian would react to him should not have been of concern. 

However, this was no ordinary Midgardian.

He drew in a deep breath.

“Are you alright?”

The way Theo’s head shot up confirmed she had no clue he was there, or at least he had startled her. A brief moment of horror flashed across her face, only for a grimace to take hold as she clutched her head and groaned.

Loki cursed himself for startling her with such a pointless question - of course she was unwell, she would not be in such a position otherwise.

Theo lifted her head once more and cracked her eyes open, squinting up at Loki as she blinked slowly. Something about her gaze seemed… Off. 

“What’re you doin’ here?” The question came out half-mumbled and a bit slurred; she listed back and forth ever-so-slightly, almost like she could not keep her balance.

“I had been on my way to the sitting room when I heard crashing come from inside your quarters,” Loki replied, frowning at Theo. “When you did not respond to my knocking, I grew worried and came inside…”

Unsure of how to conclude his statement, Loki trailed off, running his fingers through his hair.

The predicament he found himself in was well outside of his area of expertise; comforting people was something Maximoff was far better with. He briefly debated leaving to fetch the Scarlet Witch – she would know the perfect solution in a moment like this.  Yet, Loki remained frozen in place, mind reeling over how to proceed. Should he try to locate a healer? Should he try to soothe her? Should he leave her alone?

The silence stretched as Loki stared at her, frantically running through different ideas in his head and dismissing them for all the reasons they might not work. Loki found himself frozen, unable to make up his mind about what he should do.

In turn, Theo simply sat there, blinking slowly as she stared up at Loki…

… Until her face crumpled and she caved in on herself, a small, hitched breath giving way to a heartbroken sob.

Such a desolate sound had no place falling from Theo’s lips.

Spurred to action by Theo’s tears, Loki lowered himself to sit on the floor beside her. He may have been an Avenger, but he certainly was not a perfect hero. Despite bravery being in the job description, he had to dig up the last of his courage to pull her into what he hoped would be a comforting embrace. 

At the new touch, Theo tensed, gasping quietly as her trembling hands flew up to cover her mouth and stifle her cries.

Loki froze. 

Yet again, Theo had startled, all because of him. Loki cursed himself - of course he would make a mess of what should have been a simple interaction. With his luck, she wouldn't have a thing to do with him after tonight. 

It was too far to turn back now; after all, in for a penny, in for a pound.

Just before Loki lost his ambition and pulled away, Theo settled beneath his touch, shifting so her face pressed firmly against his chest; hot tears dampened the knit fabric of his shirt as she somehow began to cry even harder. Her arms slipped around his waist, clinging to him despite the way her entire body shook. 

Loki cupped one hand to Theo’s neck, the pad of his thumb slowly brushing against her unusually heated skin. This time, Theo did not recoil or freeze at the change, instead melting into the touch.

Perhaps there was hope.

Motivated by a surge of courage, Loki shifted from simply holding Theo close to tracing gentle, unhurried circles along her back. 

With every new circle, the smallest hint of tension slipped from Theo’s muscles; as more of her body relaxed into Loki’s embrace, her cries slowed and grew softer. Even when Theo had loosened her grip and the only sounds she made were shaky, slow breaths, Loki had no intention of stopping his ministrations. 

“Theo?” He murmured, nose brushing against her hair as he looked down at her.

“M’m s’rry…” With her face fully buried in Loki’s shirt, Theo’s almost embarrassed response came out almost charmingly muffled; however, she made no effort to move.

“It’s alright.” Loki used the hand on Theo’s neck to sweep her messy braid aside, flattening his cool palm against the overheated flesh. “I take it you do not feel well?”

She weakly shook her head. “Feel Awful.”

“How about I help you to your bed so you can get some rest?”

“No, please – I can’t – ” The force with which Theo shook her head the second time caught Loki by surprise, as did the rising panic in her tone. “– Can’t go back–”

“Darling, you need rest if you’re to feel better,” Loki gently tried to rationalize, though if the heat radiating from Theo was any indication, her ability to rationalize likely had been impacted by some level of a fever. “The floor is no place for someone who is ill. You ought to rest in bed.”

“Not mine,” Theo begged, ”I can’t–” 

“Would you like me to bring you to the infirmary so you might rest there?”

Theo shook her head, tightening her arms around Loki.

“I’m not sure what other options there are, as I do not think I can bring bring you to your actor—“

“Broke up.” A new pair of damp spots on Loki’s shirt accompanied the two-word interruption, punctuated by a sniffle.

“Pardon?”

Theo blindly reached to the side, drawing Loki’s eye to her mobile. He unfurled one arm to retrieve it for her. Theo didn’t even pull away from Loki to look at what she was doing as she unlocked the device before handing it back. Loki accepted, eyes scanning across the screen. 

The most recent of Theo’s voice messages was from her lover, not long after the events at the Met Gala. White, hot fury shot through Loki’s veins as he read the transcription; despite what Loki had been told of the Midgardian’s supposed kindness, the message he left Theo was short, blunt, lacking any sense of care for the recipient. If anything, it was downright cruel.

Perhaps it was for the best that Loki needed to ensure Theo was cared for first, as he otherwise might have tracked the bastard down and made him regret his callous behavior. The first thing to sort out, however, was where she might be amenable to resting, since her bed and the infirmary were, for some unknown reason, unacceptable.

An idea came to mind; though it might cause others to talk, it was, up to that point, the best he could manage without waking anyone else and dragging them into the conversation.

“How about you come with me to my quarters?” Loki cautiously suggested. “You can rest there for a while, then decide later if you’d like to return to your own bed or seek out the infirmary. Would that work?”

A slow, almost sleepy nod brought a swell of tenderness to Loki’s chest and a soft smile to his face. 

Loki carefully adjusted to cradle Theo in his arms before slowly rising to his feet. In what almost seemed to be instinct, Theo pressed her forehead into space between Loki’s shoulder and the crook of his neck, letting out a strained breath before settling in. Though Loki had already established the presence of a fever, it wasn’t until carrying Theo that he noticed she was not simply trembling, but downright shivering.

Careful not to jostle Theo as he navigated the tower in the dark, Loki made the return journey to his quarters with restrained haste, relying on his Seidr to help with managing doors and other environmental obstacles that otherwise could have slowed or complicated the process of getting Theo to bed. 

Upon arriving in his own quarters, the dim, golden glow from a nearby lamp provided the first opportunity to take in Theo’s appearance under any sort of light; Loki paused for a moment to confirm his prior assessments regarding Theo’s condition. Much of what he discerned in the dark remained accurate, though he did find the smallest relief that it seemed she had fallen asleep while in transit and appeared almost peaceful… Were it not for the tell-tale signs of tears previously being shed, one might have been fooled into believing all was well. 

With a hushed sigh, Loki brought her from the great room to his bedchambers. A flick of one finger and shimmer of emerald seidr later, Loki lowered Theo onto the bed, carefully tucking her beneath the silken sheets and the plush duvet which Loki had crafted from the finest Asgardian textiles, pausing for a moment when a soft, breathy hum snuck out of Theo and she shifted, snuggling further beneath the covers. 

A few minutes later, Loki had placed a bin beside the bed in the event Theo became sick to her stomach once more, procured a glass of water and set it on the closest nightstand, and drawn the drapes shut so the morning light would not wake her.

With nothing else to distract him, Loki now had to answer the question he had yet to consider: where was he going to sleep?

The proper answer, of course, would be to find alternate sleeping arrangements, lest anyone make inappropriate assumptions about the circumstances. 

But doing so meant leaving Theo by herself, essentially abandoning her when she was in the midst of a particularly vulnerable moment. Surely, she would understand if he remained close by; after all, she trusted him up until this moment, enough to abandon her own quarters in favor of staying in his. Besides, he had stayed with her once before when she felt unwell. Precedent had been set to ensure no one mistook him for less than noble intentions, given the circumstances.

Yet, as Loki crawled beneath the covers on the opposite side of the bed, the distance still felt as if he were abandoning her. What if she woke up, delirious from fever, did not see him beside her, and panicked at the lack of familiar surroundings? If Theo laid with him, Loki would know the moment she woke and could ensure she had whatever she needed; even better, he could use his Jötun heritage for benevolent means, combining it with his seidr to reduce his core temperature so he could serve as a sort of full-body cool compress. 

Amidst warring thoughts, the weight of an arm draped across his chest ripped Loki from his indecision. Theo had rolled over in her sleep, curling into Loki’s side with her head resting atop the dip between shoulder and chest and one leg wrapped around his as if second nature. She nuzzled into him, oblivious to the waking world, her breath slow and deep in contrast to Loki’s racing heart. 

For a moment, Loki found himself dumbstruck by just how natural it felt to lay with her tucked into his side in such a manner. In her most vulnerable moments, she found solace in his presence. In her sleep, she sought him out. And though he could make any multitude of excuses as to why - she was not aware who she curled herself around, she was not of sound mind from illness - the excuses did nothing to dispel the pure awe that resulted from realizing the trust Theo placed in him.

In the morning, he would locate Maximoff and determine how to proceed; until then, he would embrace the trust placed in him, and hopefully repay it tenfold.

He willed his seidr to work, cooling himself to offer Theo some relief from her fever, then allowed himself to drift into a pleasant sleep.

The stars, the moon, They have all been blown out You left me in the dark No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight In the shadow of your heart

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 3: I'm Still Not Sure What I Stand For

Summary: Theo makes a decision. The Avengers meet a prospective new member.

Author's Notes: Hey look, it's the chapter that has the first snippet I posted back in like, February! This song is split between two chapters, otherwise it would be a 10k chapter... next chapter (again, already written!) will likely come on Saturday, 10/28.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog (less than 100 followers, haha) and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: None!

Word Count: 3,957

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Some Nights - fun.

Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck Some nights, I call it a draw Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know anymore

If there was anything Theo could count on, it was that her cousin Max would inevitably disapprove of almost all of Theo’s life choices.

“Are you insane ?” The tenor of her cousin’s voice blared through the speaker, furious about the news she shared. “Seriously Leenie, you know you’re insane, right?”

“Sometimes, that’s all I have to give me comfort.” Theo drawled, cradling her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she packed her apartment up. “Max, don’t you get it? They’re alive - this is our chance!”

“No, no, no –” he retorted, “things are perfectly fine right now! There is no reason for us to go digging up the skeletons we buried -”

“Why are you so upset about this?” She said, rolling her eyes. “You literally have nothing to lose - if this works, we get our lives back. If this doesn’t work, we will stay here and nothing changes!”

“I have nothing–” A strangled groan came from the other side of the phone. “You are impossible, Leenie! What are the others going to think? What’s Mémère going to think? You’re putting all of us at risk–”

“Mémère has been pestering me to help with the shadow creature problem anyways,” Theo interrupted, “and might I remind you that between the two of us, I’m the one who has the authority to make this sort of decision.”

“I can’t – I can’t believe you,” Max sputtered; Theo could picture him walking around his house, flailing his arms in exasperation as she refused to back down on her plan. “After everything we sacrificed to get here, you’re going to risk ruining it for them?” 

“They’re my family, you asshole,” Theo snapped, “and until two nights ago, I thought they were dead. I thought I would never see them again, and I would never see my home again, but now there’s a possibility I can have my life back! So yes, I am willing to risk everything!” Staring at the half-filled boxes around her, Theo sighed; a pang of nostalgia surged through her chest at the thought of seeing the constellations that filled her childhood in something other than her dreams. “Max, they can put an end to all of this - don’t you want to go home?”

For years, Theo had dreams where she experienced the world through her sister’s perspective, but until she found out her sister was alive Theo assumed that was all they were: dreams. Her mind playing tricks on her, making her feel connected to people who hadn’t walked the earth in a long time. It wasn’t hard to rationalize - lots of people dreamt about loved ones after they passed. 

However, if it was true - if they were really alive… Maybe they weren’t just dreams. Maybe she was still connected with them and seeing what they saw. Maybe her sister was staring at the skies like they used to, remembering the tales she told Theo when they’d sneak out late at night to escape the times when it all felt like too much.

Even if Theo had seen the world through Rae’s eyes, she wondered what Rae looked like after all the time that had passed. Was she still as lean as Theo remembered, with sharp cheeks and piercing amethyst eyes that saw through everything? Was her nose still hooked ever-so-slightly? 

A shaky exhale came through the other end of the phone.

“This is our home now, Leens -” Max softened his tone, “I know you miss them, but even if it’s true that they are alive, how do you know they aren’t choosing to stay there? How do you know they would even want to help? Or that it would work?”

“Max, there’s no reason to believe they wouldn’t try to find me again - they’re my family ,” Theo protested, pinching the bridge of her nose with irritation at Max’s very blatant disapproval of her decision. “Look, I get it - after all this time it’s scary to think about the possibility that we gave up hope when they were still alive and we resigned ourselves to being refugees. But wouldn’t you rather know for sure than sit here wondering what if ?”

Theo continued haphazardly tossing items into boxes - she had to have everything ready for moving into the tower. Movers would be coming in a week, and she would have to say farewell to the brownstone she’d called home for so long.

The thought of leaving her little borough was tough to swallow - what would she do when she couldn’t stop into the bodega on her way home from work and tease Carlos about the girl who kept coming in to buy stuff just to talk to him? There was no way the Avengers ever went to bodegas when they needed something, much less talked to normal people. It seemed like they were locked up in their tower whenever they weren’t making appearances or going on flashy missions. They probably had cleaning staff and a chef that they interacted with, but beyond the staff it was difficult to imagine the Avengers living normal lives and running their own errands.

God, if Tony Stark was as obnoxious and boisterous as he seemed, being locked in a tower with him would absolutely result in Theo committing murder… 

Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to this. 

But if it meant she could be reunited with her family, if they could finally go home and rebuild… Maybe she could hold off on murdering the Avengers’ sugar daddy.

“I can’t stop you from doing this, can I?” 

Max’s voice snapped Theo back to the present.

“No, you can’t.” Theo shook her head, adjusting how she cradled the phone so she could tape a box closed. “I gave SHIELD my terms today and they accepted. Whether you like it or not, I’m going. You’re second in command while I’m gone - you know that, right?” 

“Fucking insane,” Max muttered, “This is fucking insane.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first thirty times.” Theo replied, rolling her eyes yet again.

“Fine, fine! I will try to keep Mémère in line and make sure shit doesn’t implode,” Max relented, “You have to tell the council though - I do not condone this whatsoever.”

Fuck, Theo forgot about the council.

“Chill out - I’m sure Mémère already told them.” 

Well, she was assuming, but they’d find out one way or another. After all, there was going to be a press conference to announce her new role upon completion of SHIELD’s onboarding process, so it wasn’t like it was going to be a secret.

Max’s frustration meant the conversation didn’t last much longer; then again, it wasn’t like there was much else for the two to discuss. If anything, she was a bit relieved to be done talking to him, even if he was family.

The moment Max was no longer on the phone, Theo let out an exhausted sigh.

Maybe Max was right - maybe she was getting caught up in this for nothing. Maybe she wouldn’t get to them in time. Maybe it was actually a lie after all. Maybe this would re-open old wounds. Maybe she would be killed before finding anything. Maybe…

Wings flapping brought Theo’s attention to her open window. A pair of black, beady eyes stared at her, iridescent feathers shimmering in the light from Theo’s apartment.

Not a crow - too big to be a crow. The beak wasn’t like a crow’s, and the feathers around it were far more pronounced. 

Definitely a raven.

Ravens weren’t common in urban areas, and seeing one on its own? 

Well, if that wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was. 

This is it, boys, this is warWhat are we waiting for?Why don't we break the rules already?I was never one to believe the hypeSave that for the black and whiteTry twice as hard, and I'm half as likedBut here they come again to jack my style

“Dr. Theolene Amaris,” Nick Fury’s voice rang out in the meeting room as a picture of a lithe woman appeared on screen. “ - also known as the Silver Shadow, the Celestial Phantom, and the Cursed Moon.”

It was only a few hours earlier that everyone was notified of the mandatory briefing, which was described as “urgent.” 

Moments before, Loki found himself pondering the nature of the briefing while everyone packed into a bright conference room. In front of each Avenger, a manila file folder sat prepared for them with information related to the subject in question.The faces of his team members shifted as they developed their first impressions on the subject of their briefing, her likeness blown up on the screen at the front of the room. 

Despite exceeding the capacity of the space, Loki managed to secure his usual seat in the back, conveniently located near the door for an easy escape. It was a habit that lingered from his earlier days in the tower, but having an easy escape from what were normally tedious meetings was still a benefit that Loki took advantage of more often than not. Even better, there was an empty seat next to him, lessening the otherwise inevitable sense of claustrophobia that would have eventually reared its ugly head.

She really didn’t look like much. The only noteworthy feature in her appearance was the thick mane of silver hair that tumbled down her back, stopping just above her waist. Otherwise, she appeared to be like any other Midgardian: clad in all-black, a beanie atop her head with black sunglasses obscuring her features as she walked down the street. If Loki passed her in real life, there was no way he’d offer her a second glance, or even a first.

With that in mind, it was safe to assume that in this first image, she was practicing urban camouflage – blending in with her surroundings by altering her appearance and attire to mimic those around her. The less attention she drew to herself, the easier it would be to slip in and out unnoticed; it also created an additional challenge if anyone sought to locate her. As someone who’d had plenty of experience with stealth, Loki already had an idea of what her skill sets may include.

Stark studied the first image of her, brow furrowed as he spoke up. “Hell of a name, but she doesn’t look like much. What’s her doctorate in? Bad poetry? Sad music? Scaring parents?”

“Emergency Medicine.” Fury glared at Stark while Agent Hill changed the display to a second photograph. “Assuming she isn’t a serious threat is both the first and last mistake you’ll make about her.”

The second image must have been captured in combat. She crouched down as though she just landed from a maneuver, the obsidian hood of a frayed cloak masking the top half of her face as she held a black longsword composed entirely of what appeared to be magic in one hand. Her other hand radiated with darkness as it touched the ground, ready to launch some kind of spell. Blood smeared across her jawline, a scowl across her lips as a pair of corpses lay in the background. Unlike the first photo, now he could see a scar that ran down past the bottom of her lip, almost giving her the appearance of a permanently split lip. A second scar cut through the outside edge of her eyebrow, angling out towards her temple.

One detail piqued his interest: of all the realms that Loki had visited, he did not recognize where she was. He had to give it to Fury – this picture certainly made her appear far more intimidating.

“She specializes in shadow magic—“

The room erupted as all the Avengers fired off questions at the director.

“Shadow magic? Wait, is she the one behind those shadow beast-things we’ve been fighting lately?”

“What does she want?”

“Is she working for Dr. Doom?”

“Did HYDRA give her those powers?”

“What kind of villain studies emergency medicine?”

“Maybe this will help explain things.” Agent Hill tapped a screen as the image before them went to a video.

Loki had seen this video before - it was nearly impossible to miss, having been plastered all across the news for weeks. A Midgardian woman single-handedly eliminated an entire swarm of the shadowy monsters that had plagued New York City recently, all while in a subway car. Somehow, no one knew who she was or the methods used to exterminate the pests. It was obvious from the video that it was magic of some kind, though it was different from any magic Loki had ever encountered in his life and it did not resemble anything he had ever studied. Though he hadn’t admitted it to anyone, he was curious to meet this Midgardian and learn her abilities for himself.

Of course, that was assuming she was Midgardian. There were many species who appeared to be Midgardian, though biologically they were different. Usually, it was easy for Loki to sense if someone was Aesir, Midgardian, or otherwise; however, no indication that she was anything extraterrestrial revealed itself to him.

No, this woman must have been Midgardian. 

“That’s her?” Romanoff inquired, arching a perfectly groomed brow at Hill. 

“Wait wait wait , I thought she was the bad guy, but she’s killing the shadowy monsters here…” Wilson said, gawking at the screen. “Unless she’s really crazy and likes killing her own, this doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m telling you, if she’s the big bad and studied Emergency Medicine, she’s definitely got a screw loose,” Barnes said, “and that’s coming from the guy with a vibranium arm.”

“This incident was weeks ago - how is it that we are just now learning of her identity?” Rhodes interjected.

“She is not our enemy,” Agent Hill finally explained, raising her voice over the incessant chatter. “She has agreed to help the Avengers find the root cause of the shadow creature problem and exterminate the beasts.”

Stunned silence permeated the room. The ticking of the clock above Fury’s perpetual scowl only emphasized the blaring lack of sound. 

Loki could count on one hand the number of times he had ever witnessed total silence from the group; to see the group go from so animated to so silent nearly gave him whiplash.

“She’s joining the Avengers?” Stark’s disbelief was painted all over his face. “Emo queen Rapunzel is joining the Avengers?”

“Not exactly,” Agent Carter said, “She is coming on board specifically to help with the shadow creatures.”

“If she’s so powerful, why isn’t she already a part of the Avengers?” Banner asked, leaning in as he met Fury’s glare.

“This is a temporary arrangement.” Fury crossed his arms. “We struck a deal with her.”

“So she comes in and helps with the shadow creatures, and then what - she just disappears?” Captain Rogers pressed, “Don’t you think someone with expertise in shadow magic should be kept under close watch?”

“You’d be a fool to think she hasn’t been on SHIELD’s radar for a long time.” Fury crossed his arms and glowered at the group. “She turned down past offers to join the Avengers. Your mission is to convince her to stay.”

“Convince her to stay?” Romanoff shot Fury a wary glance, while others regarded the director as though he grew another head. 

“Assuming all goes well, we want her to remain on the team after the shadow creatures are eliminated,” Agent Hill explained. “She is highly adept in both physical and magical combat, and she has expertise in stealth operations. She fills in some key areas of the team that have been lacking, while her versatility allows her to fit into a variety of smaller teams with ease. However, we need you to convince her to stay.”

“Dr. Amaris cut her teeth in a different realm,” Fury added. “She has trained with threats far more powerful than what we have encountered here on earth, and fought to survive in far worse scenarios. Her experiences and insight would be invaluable in our operations.”

“Okay, but if you had to strike a deal with her, that still raises some questions…” Banner hesitated, raising an eyebrow at Fury. “It makes it sound like she wasn’t exactly keen to help protect the world.”

“Her skills are far too valuable to not be utilized.” Fury glared at Banner. “What I was going to say before someone interrupted my briefing is that she is also an incredibly powerful healer.“

“How do we know we can trust her?” Wilson asked. “I’m no wizard, but shadow magic sounds like trouble at best.”

Barton agreed. “Besides, Nat has us covered in stealth.”

“You know how to make a woman feel appreciated.” Romanoff coyly winked at Barton. 

While Loki wasn’t one to regularly agree with Wilson, for once he made a good point: this was something Loki was unfamiliar with, and at the very least it sounded dubious. 

“Because if I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead.”

Every head in the room snapped towards the entrance, eyes wider than dinner plates as they gawked at the source of the voice.

Leaning against the closed conference room door was the subject of their briefing. In real life, Theolene Amaris was smaller than Loki expected - not short by any means, as she appeared to be slightly taller than Maximoff and Romanoff; she was probably the average height for a Midgardian woman. However, she was lanky, with elongated limbs and a slight figure. She carried her head high with relaxed posture, one leg crossed in front of the other as she leaned on the doorframe with hands loosely tucked in her pockets. She didn’t seem to be intimidated by the strong personalities in front of her, even as she crashed their briefing.

Dr. Amaris sauntered into the room, eyes scanning over each of the Avengers with a smirk on her face. When she reached Loki she paused, quirking her head to the side as the curl of her lips increased. “Looks like one of us might need to change.”

At first, Loki was perplexed by her remark. Upon a second glance, it became obvious. They both wore almost identical outfits: black button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, tucked into tailored black trousers that showed a bit of ankle, and black Oxford shoes. 

He couldn’t help the snort that escaped him, a smile creeping across his own features as he allowed his shoulders to relax. 

It was unusual for someone to make him laugh, especially on a first encounter. And to shock the Avengers in such a way? Well, he certainly was intrigued.

“It seems we have similar tastes in apparel,” Loki commented coolly, wondering about the nature of her remark. 

Just then, Theo pulled a hand out of her pocket and snapped her fingers, instantly changing her outfit into a pair of ripped black jeans, a faded gray shirt emblazoned with some sort of sigil and the word “Queen,” and a pair of black sneakers. 

Loki could feel the magic pouring off of her - while she was no god, it was apparent to him that Fury wasn’t kidding when he said she was much more powerful than she let on.

“There, that’s better.” She dropped into the seat beside Loki, leaning back and kicking her feet up onto the table before sticking out one hand. “You must be Loki?”

“Indeed, and you must be Dr. Amaris.” Loki offered a wry grin, shaking her hand with a firm grip. “A fellow sorcerer, I see.”

“You could say that,” She winked, returning the gesture with a firm grip. “Call me Theo. Dr. Amaris is what my residents call me.”

From the opposite side of Theo, Thor beamed at the sight of his brother being surprisingly friendly to the Avengers’ newest addition. 

It took every ounce of self-restraint for Loki to prevent himself from rolling his eyes at his older brother. “Pleasure to meet you, Theo.” 

“Don’t get any funny ideas with Rapunzel here, Reindeer Games.” Stark warned, apparently having already settled on a nickname for the newest team member. 

Loki’s attention diverted to Stark, sending invisible daggers at the man. Even though they had come a long way from the distrust present when Loki first joined the team, there were certainly still moments where Stark got on his nerves.

This time it was Theo’s turn to snort. 

“Rapunzel? That’s the best nickname you’ve got, Tin Man?” Theo cocked one eyebrow at the billionaire as she laughed, brushing a piece of hair over her shoulder. “I may have long hair, but good luck with trying to lock me up in this tower.” 

“Watch out, or I might invent something so I can–”

“-- Then again, you named your AI system FRIDAY, so I shouldn’t be surprised,” She continued, unfazed by Stark’s threat. “Seriously, what the hell kind of name is that?”

“Says the person named Theolene...” 

“First of all, I just told you - I go by Theo, not Theolene. Second, I can’t help it that my mother has terrible taste in names. Third, Loki’s helmet has horns, not reindeer antlers. For a genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist , you should know the difference.” Theo turned to the other Avengers. “And while I’m correcting people, I don’t specialize in shadow magic. I specialize in celestial magic, of which shadow magic is a subset. Dr. Doom is a joke, HYDRA wishes they gave me these powers, and my refusal to become an Avenger has nothing to do with a lack of desire to protect people, it’s because I don’t want to spend my time playing superhero when I can be more useful as a doctor. Although whichever one of you suggested I had a screw loose - Bucky, I believe? - was probably right. At least, my cousin would agree with you. He’s pissed that I agreed to this.”

For the second time in mere minutes, the entirety of the Avengers were stunned into silence. If there were two words that best described the collective response, “utter bewilderment” would be Loki’s choice. 

“Wait a minute—“ Wilson blurted out, “How long have you been listening to our briefing? Have you been here this whole time?”

“Long enough to know you are just as skeptical of me as I am of you. It’s nothing personal, I know - I would be skeptical of me too! still, this has been enlightening.” Theo rose to her feet, gliding back to the entrance. She spun around, bowing with a dramatic flourish while flashing a cheshire grin at the crowd. “See you next Monday for your press conference!”

With a flick of her wrist, a series of black runes appeared all over her arms, flowing down her limbs like a stream of water. When they reached her fingertips, they rose into the air and evolved, surrounding her until she was obscured from view; in a flash of white, she disappeared, leaving nothing but a faint shimmer. The entire process took at most a few seconds, but the effect lingered far longer. 

It was a finale to the encounter that was almost as dramatic as her introduction.

If Loki’s instincts were correct, she was just getting started.

And that's alright (That's alright) I found a martyr in my bed tonight She stops my bones from wondering Just who I, who, I, who I am Oh, who am I? Mmm, mmm...

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 16: We Don't Know What We're Doing

Summary: Amidst the day to day, Theo and Loki continue to learn new things about each other, including some interesting details about how they view relationships.

Author’s Note: First, I am so sorry this is so late!! I had planned to post on the 28th, but I ended up having some (good) things come up that took up my weekend and meant I didn’t have time to get this to a point I felt was ready to post. I foolishly thought I could have it ready by Tuesday, then by Friday, then Sunday, then accepted my fate and admitted I just wouldn’t have time until this weekend to get this chapter wrapped up and posted (shoutout to a work trip last weekend for making this take an extra week!) I shared a note about the delay on tumblr, but figured I’d share it here so I’m covering my bases.

That being said, spring is a crazy time for me work-wise, plus I’m finishing my second master’s degree this semester (after a two year hiatus!), so this will probably not be the only time things get a bit delayed. I’m pretty sure I will have the next chapter ready for next Sunday (the 24th), but the week after that has some work stuff going on, which means the following chapter would be posted on March 9th. Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to tag list!

Word Count: 6,789

Song: Amateur Lovers - Switchfoot (Bonus Song: Passing Through A Screen Door - The Wonder Years)

Everyone I know Needs love like drugs Like a common cold We could never shrug My baby and me We're missing the same stuff We've all got a disease Deficiency of love Every day we still try Every night we still cry Driving home on the 805

Months after Theo first promised Loki that she would hang out with the other Avengers, she could not deny the truth: Loki, the little shit, was right.

Unintentionally agreeing to “family night” opened the floodgates of invitations to hang out, and other than the period of time where everyone’s moods plummeted from the string of unpleasant anniversaries, Theo found herself becoming more and more fond of the colorful collection of superheroes that she lived with, and it seemed like they accepted her with open arms.

Even worse, Loki was right and he knew it.

Every time Theo caught him watching as Wanda braided her hair or Yelena talked her into trying (and absolutely sucking at) Call of Duty, Loki cocked an eyebrow and shot Theo the most smug, self-satisfied smirk. When he wandered into the lab and stumbled upon Theo and Helen working on new medical technology with Bruce and Shuri, a downright devious glint flashed in his jade eyes, and his jaw flexed as if he bit back some snarky comment about Theo’s voluntary presence. When they went out as a team and it came to light that Natasha had done Theo’s makeup, Loki bit his lower lip to stifle a snicker. 

On that night, Theo had just finished up working in the emergency department; after showering and changing into an old set of Duke sweatpants and a shirt she stole from Chris the last time she stayed at his apartment, Theo made her way out to the living room with a book in hand.

The sight that greeted her was one she often found at the end of the day: Sam, Bucky, Yelena, Natasha, and Steve sprawled out on some of the more comfortable seating options, clad in sweatpants and worn t-shirts after what was likely a long day of training and briefings. A video game that Theo vaguely recognized, but not enough to identify, broadcast itself from the television screen, displaying a mix of desolate space-esque scenarios and scifi combat. 

Sam sat on the edge of the couch cushions, leaned in towards the television screen with a video game controller clutched in both hands, focusing so intently on the screen that he stuck a bit of his tongue out as he mashed buttons on the controller. 

On another couch sat Yelena and Natasha, with Bucky sandwiched between the two widows. Yelena and Bucky alternated between shoving fistfuls of popcorn into their mouths and shouting at the television as an explosion flashed on the screen, while Natasha sat with her legs curled up under her, sipping a glass of merlot as she occasionally teased Sam about dying in the game.

“Theo, hey,” Steve waved from the other side of the living room, where he stretched across on the couch with sock-covered feet propped up on the coffee table. 

“Hey,” Theo waved as she took her usual seat, curling into the corner of the couch. “So, which game is this?”

“Halo–” Yelena replied between mouthfuls of popcorn, “— Genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens.”

“I thought the point of playing video games was to take a break from reality…” Theo glanced around the room. “How is ‘genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens’ any different from what we already do?” 

“It’s fictional.” Yelena shrugged, despite the knowing grin she wore.

“Hey, bird brain, don’t you have something to ask Theo?” Bucky threw a piece of popcorn at Sam, bouncing a fluffy kernel off Sam’s head; Sam scowled, but kept his eyes on the screen.

“Ask me what?” Theo glanced between the others expectantly, her pulse quickening ever so slightly. 

They must have been talking about her… But why? 

“Fuck! I was so close!” Sam groaned as a message flashed across the television screen stating his team lost. He tossed the controller at Bucky, who effortlessly caught it in his non-vibranium hand. “You try.”

“Is anyone going to tell me what I’m supposed to be asked about?” Theo repeated, her chest tightening as she tried to guess what they wanted. She couldn’t think of anything that she did recently to raise any suspicions, and the way Bucky brought it up made it sound like it wasn’t anything serious…

“Dammit Buck, I was gonna ask her when it was just the two of us.” Sam glared at Bucky, who was too busy setting up the next round of whatever shooting game they had decided on for that night.

“Okay, now I’m just getting nervous.” Theo tried to laugh it off, but it didn’t do much to cover up her ballooning nerves.

“Nah, don’t be - I just need advice… ” Sam rubbed his face with both hands, conveniently hiding any clues Theo might have gathered from his expression. “... Dating advice.”

“Dating advice?” Theo’s brows shot skyward as she echoed Sam’s message back to him. 

“Yeah. There’s a hot doc that you work with, and I want to see if she’s interested.”

Well, that certainly changed things.

Theo struggled to keep her cool, cheeks and jaw tensing to prevent a grin from curling up her lips... 

.. What were the odds that Sam shared Julie’s crush?

“Thing is, the only way I ever run into her is when I need to get patched up —“ Sam continued, “— not exactly great for getting to know each other...”

“… So you want my help getting close to her?” Theo ventured, her mind running wild with possibilities. “Who is it?!”

“Oh hell no, I’m not telling!” Sam laughed sheepishly, “Not until I know if she’s interested too!”

“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?” Theo pointed out, “it’s not like all doctors are the same! What works for Julie won’t work for Helen!” 

If Theo didn’t know any better, she swore she saw Sam’s cheeks flush at Julie’s name; then again, that might have been in her head.

“Watch him when he’s in the ER,” Bucky commented, not missing a beat even as all of his attention seemed focused on the video game. “You'll know in two seconds.”

“As much as I don’t want you to need to go to the ER, now I’m curious - maybe we can beat you up a bit during training so you need to pay a visit.” Theo teased, smirking at Sam. Yelena laughed, offering to beat him up, while Natasha and Steve exchanged knowing glances.

“Not you too–” Sam groaned, before pointing at Yelena and Bucky. “ – that’s the same thing these assholes recommended!” 

“Because it’s good advice!” Yelena huffed, crossing her arms. “You want to see her? That’s how!” 

“Oh come on, you really think that’s my advice?! I’m not that terrible,” Theo scoffed, feigning offense. “My first piece of advice would be to talk to her and see what she likes outside of work, then figure out a way to ask her to hang out and do something she enjoys. But unless you tell me who it is, you’re going to need to work up the courage to stop by the ED specifically to talk to her, or you’ll have to wait until you actually have a reason to get patched up.”

Sam let out a sharp breath, shoulders slumping as he narrowed his eyes at Theo. “And if I tell you?”

“Maybe I can help — invite them over when we do a movie night or something,” Theo offered, this time not bothering to hide her smile. After all, Theo was not above a quid pro quo - she gets to satisfy her curiosity, and Sam gets a chance to talk to whoever he’s crushing on. Win-win, really.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Theo. “… Let me think about it.” 

Theo stood up and stretched her arms overhead; since it seemed like Sam had put an end to the conversation, it was as good of a moment as any to step away for a moment and get herself some water. As she sauntered towards the kitchen, she called over her shoulder: “Your choice, but it doesn’t have to be hard!”

Conversation continued among the others as Theo entered the kitchen, voices laughing and chattering over each other so Theo couldn’t make out what anyone said. 

Theo moved on autopilot as she found a glass and added some ice from the freezer, mind spinning as she tried to recall any details from past interactions that would help her figure out which of her colleagues caught Sam’s eye. Even as she moved to the sink to fill her glass, her thoughts remained so occupied with the new mystery that she barely paid her surroundings any mind.

“You feared the Avengers would never trust you, yet Wilson trusts you enough to seek your guidance in matters of the heart; I dare say that your concerns were unfounded.” A low voice spoke from just behind Theo — a smooth baritone that she recognized anywhere, even if it startled her so badly that she dropped her glass and nearly jumped through the ceiling from shock.

A flash of emerald shot forth. Loki caught the glass just before it clattered into the sink, all the while failing to stifle his laughter at the string of curses that fell from Theo’s mouth.

“Can’t you just say hi like a normal person?!” Theo pressed one hand to her heart in a feeble attempt to settle her racing heart, all the while glaring at Loki.

“When such amusement is a possibility? Absolutely not.” Loki grinned, offering Theo her water glass. She snatched it from him, taking a quick drink of water before turning back to the sink and topping it off.

For a moment, Theo considered finding some way to fuck with Loki so he couldn’t gloat so much, but after Loki had a difficult month (between the shitty anniversaries and Thor nearly dying, calling it difficult was probably an understatement), Loki needed the chance to loosen up and laugh. Besides, he was the first friend Theo made when she moved into the tower, and even if she wouldn’t admit it outright, Theo was grateful that Loki had been right. 

So, she simply rolled her eyes and smiled. 

“You’ve not responded to my original comment,” Loki pointed out, smug satisfaction dancing in his tone.

“Sam’s interested in one of my colleagues,” Theo attempted to brush off Loki’s observation, her cheeks burning as they undoubtedly flushed.

“I heard…” Loki leaned back against the kitchen counter, a lazy smile dangling on his lips as he looked at Theo. “Still, he trusts you.”

“Not enough to tell me who it is,” Theo grumbled,  setting her water glass on the marble counter as she pretended to pout so she could cross her arms. “How long were you lurking there?”

“Long enough,” Loki simply shrugged, eyes twinkling from the reflection of the kitchen lights as he looked at Theo. “The exchange reminded me - are you still courting your gentleman caller?” 

Theo couldn’t stifle the snort of laughter that escaped from Loki’s unironic use of the term “gentleman caller;” she slapped both hands over her mouth, entire face now aflame with embarrassment from the ridiculous sound.

Loki tilted his head at Theo’s reaction, brows furrowed in a silent question. 

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that you just used the term gentleman caller?” Theo finally managed, still chuckling as she repeated the term.

“Is there another term I ought to use?” Despite the neutral tone of Loki’s reply, his cheeks took on a faint shade of pink that stood out against his porcelain skin. “Or am I to presume you are no longer courting him?”

“I’m still seeing him, but I don’t think that ‘gentleman callers’ exist in modern day dating,” Theo couldn’t wipe the smile off her face from hearing the term in daily conversation. “Feminism and all that.”

“Ah, yes, forgive me.” The flush on Loki’s cheeks grew more noticeable. “Nonetheless, you are still courting him?”

“Yeah,” Theo nodded. “Why?”

“You’ve not spoken of him in quite some time.” Loki shrugged; the gesture looked like an attempt to be nonchalant, which matched his tone, but something about the movement seemed a bit… forced.

“You were busy supporting Thor, and I was busy supporting you, so it didn’t seem like the thing to discuss at the time.” Theo offered a sheepish smile as she explained her reasoning. “Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

In response, Loki leaned away ever-so-slightly, narrowing his eyes with a slight frown as he studied Theo.

“What?” Theo tensed as heart quickened in her chest, confused by Loki’s reaction.

“Midgardians often speak of love at first sight; after quite some time, your feelings for the actor seem ambivalent at best, yet you continue to court him,” Loki remarked slowly, continuing to look at her with a perplexed expression. “It’s rather odd.”

Odd - with a silent sigh of relief, Theo relaxed, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly. 

“I don’t believe in love at first sight – that’s lust,” Theo winked, shaking her head. “We’re just having fun and enjoying each other’s company, that’s all.”

“I see,” with a nod, Loki hummed to himself. “Do you foresee the relationship turning into something greater?”

“I don’t know,” Theo shrugged. “Never gave it much thought, if I’m honest.”

As she answered the question, a thought occurred to her: Loki asked about her dating life, but Theo never asked about his… 

“Speaking of dating, did I see you bring someone up to your suite after Stark’s fundraiser a few months back?” Theo cocked a brow at him, a sly grin spread over her face. “What’s going on there?”

“Rest assured, I’ve not kept any partners from you,” Loki replied with a smirk of his own. “I am… not one for attachment, shall we say.”

“So she was a booty call?” Theo giggled, earning a venomously dirty look from Loki. “Well, what would you call it?”

“I prefer to have companions for a single evening,” Loki dryly answered, a pale pink blush returning to his cheeks. “It’s less complicated that way.”

“Is that so?” Theo teased, her grin widening to the point that her cheeks hurt as Loki’s blush grew brighter.

“Yes –” Loki’s explanation took on an edge of defensiveness as his expression teetered on the verge of a scowl.  “It’s not as uncommon as you might think, particularly among our peers.”

Theo barely managed to keep a straight face, all-too-amused by how quickly Loki became flustered.

“Civilians do not understand the nature of our roles, so relationships that are not between two agents or established prior to one becoming an Avenger are practically doomed from the start,”  Loki continued. “Having seen the effect of those failed relationships on others, I have chosen to refrain from courting anyone.”

Theo’s stomach lurched at the observation, her prior amusement vanishing in an instant. She quickly grabbed her water glass, taking a long sip of chilled liquid to ground herself before the implications could make her spiral.

“That being said, physical desire is a near-universal experience, or a need, if you will—” If Theo’s expression shifted, Loki must not have noticed; the usual glint of something clever returned to his eye, as did a wry smirk. “—And sometimes our needs… Well… They need to be satiated.”

“Can’t fault you there.” Theo covered up her discomfort from Loki’s earlier comment with a smirk and a wink of her own. She started towards the living room, glancing back at Loki over her shoulder. “Some of us are hanging out in the living room. You want to join?”

Loki nodded, pressing away from the counter and following Theo into the living room. 

Amidst a chorus of greetings directed at Loki, Theo took her usual seat, but this time stretched her legs out across the cushions so there wasn’t room for anyone else to sit. She looked up and grinned at Loki, who stood in front of the couch like he was about to take his usual place beside her.

With narrowed eyes flitting between the seat and Theo, Loki arched one brow in a silent challenge. Theo simply widened her grin, curious to see what would follow.

To Theo’s surprise, Loki didn’t say anything; instead, he picked up both of Theo’s legs, moving them out of the way so he could sit down; once he settled into his seat, he placed both of Theo’s feet on his lap, as a result returning Theo to her initial position. He capped off the response by flashing an impish grin at Theo, a sort of silent taunt - “you thought you could try me? Foolish mortal.” 

Other than a suspicious glance exchanged between the widows, it didn’t seem like anyone even noticed the exchange between Loki and Theo.

Despite Theo’s playful behavior, Loki’s comment about relationships doomed from the start lurked in the dark recesses of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Even as she forced herself to pay attention while Sam and Bucky explained the rules of the particular type of Halo match they selected for the evening, Theo couldn’t shake the vague uneasiness that the comment initially instilled within her. 

A good night text from Chris, something which usually made Theo’s heart flutter in her chest, instead filled her with dread. However, Theo kept her discomfort close to her chest, acting like nothing was amiss as she replied to Chris, wishing him a good night. When Theo returned her attention back to her friends, she tucked her concern away behind carefully crafted smiles and quick-witted comments with such practiced ease that it should have been concerning. 

Only when she had retreated to the privacy of her suite, after turning out the lights and tucking herself beneath her thick, plush comforter, did she allow the matter to crawl out from the shadows and capture her attention. 

When Theo accepted the offer to go on a date, she hadn’t even considered that the difference in careers/experiences would influence their relationship, or the special considerations that she needed to make. Given her career as a doctor, she was used to missing holidays, birthdays, and special occasions because of work. Chris had, up to that point, seemed perfectly fine with that. With healthcare privacy laws, it wasn’t odd for Theo to avoid talking about work with other people, and that naturally flowed into her relationships, another thing that Chris never seemed to mind. He didn’t care that she never brought him up to her suite, and that they always stayed at his apartment. 

Maybe she was overthinking it - they never said anything about getting serious. Besides, she didn’t know the circumstances of the failed relationships that Loki referred to. Other factors could have impacted those relationships. 

Still, the idea of Chris inevitably being hurt because of Theo’s lack of foresight left a bitter taste in her mouth. The last thing Theo needed was to hurt anyone else, but time and time again she made the same mistakes, and innocent people were caught in the crossfire.

Staring up at her ceiling, Theo drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Up until that night, she had no reason to worry about the future with Chris. He hadn’t made any indication that he wanted to pursue a long-term relationship. At that point, they were more of a situationship than anything - they didn’t change their lives for each other, they simply saw each other when it was convenient. That was okay. Theo was fine with that. 

Hopefully Chris was alright with that as well.

You tried to play it down But it never stuck I tried to bail this town I'm getting no such luck, yeah When nobody's around I keep my eyes on the clock There ain't a cure I've found In all my times around this block Every day we still try Every night we still cry We’re driving home on the 405

Between the overly loud sounds that Midgardians called music, the throngs of sweaty people, and the sharp stench of alcohol, Loki vehemently regretted allowing Maximoff to convince him to partake in this particular outing.

One of the local bars, the Hi-Lo, hosted an event they decided to call “Emo Night.” Maximoff’s explanation of “Emo Night” conveniently omitted that the “music” was far too loud and the quality of “singing” was questionable at best. Quite frankly, the quality of the scratchy, sometimes guttural noise could hardly be classified as singing, yet the people around them “danced” all the same - that was, if one could call shoving each other about in a sweaty horde dancing. 

Theo informed him the correct term was “moshing,” but Loki felt “barbaric stumbling” would be more appropriate. 

Some of their entourage seemed right at home. After freeing himself from the Winter Soldier’s programming, Barnes had grown fond of the loud and angsty racket. Maximoff had a penchant for live music, though this escapade made Loki question how the Scarlet Witch defined music. Though Wilson did not seem invested in the performance, he seemed quite comfortable with the strange cacophony – particularly strange given his typically warm and straightforward nature. 

Others, however, shared a response akin to Loki’s. Rogers hung back near the bar, nursing a bottle of beer with ear plugs in as he watched the scene unfold with an openly perplexed expression. Romanoff sat on a bar stool beside him, maintaining her usually neutral expression while drinking some sort of dark-colored cocktail from a cheap plastic cup. Despite shifting his appearance to look human, any passerby could have concluded that Vision’s presence in the midst of the drunken chaos was not natural. Amidst a sea of dark, casual clothing, Vision wore a pastel blue sweater and well-tailored pants. The android’s complexion lacked the flush of alcohol and the sweat from ‘moshing;’ combined with his lack of movement and mild expression, only emphasized the utterly strange nature of the event. Had it not been for Maximoff’s presence in the crowd, the android would undoubtedly have chosen a different location from which to observe the spectacle.

Until that evening, Loki assumed Theo would not be at home in such a ruckus - though she had performed in similar venues prior to becoming an Avenger, her musical prowess seemed far more advanced than this drivel. 

Yet, to Loki’s shock (and concern), Theo also claimed to be a fan of the so-called music; though she initially stood beside Loki as the so-called band performed, after bobbing her head to a couple of songs she disappeared into the sea of people as they jumped and screamed incomprehensible lyrics off-key.  

Left by himself in what might have been his personal hell, Loki cursed Theo for abandoning him, only to chastise himself for such a thought; after all, Theo had attempted to warn Loki of what he would experience. 

Earlier that afternoon, when Maximoff said “You’ll love it Lokes,” to which Loki rolled his eyes — it didn’t matter how many times he told Maximoff, she insisted on calling him Lokes — Theo couldn’t hold back the snort as she countered, “Given your thoughts on Tony’s music, you’ll probably hate it. But hey, you’ll probably enjoy the people watching.” 

Theo was not to blame for Loki’s current predicament; if anything, the only person Loki could truly blame was himself. After all, he was the one who accepted the invitation. 

The sound of distorted guitar shook the walls, his shoes stuck to the floor, and he couldn’t tell if he smelled stale beer or body odor - or both - but the scent was utterly repulsive. There were far too many people packed into such a small place, and they were drunken imbeciles. Even if he wanted to people-watch, it was too chaotic to tell what was going on. With the unnecessarily loud noise coming from the stage, a conversation would be near-impossible, no matter where he stood.

Then again, now that he was alone and everyone else was distracted by other things, no one would miss him if he left. Loki glanced over his shoulder at the exit, debating whether or not he should attempt to slip away at that moment, or wait until a break between songs.

The collision of another person bumping against Loki’s hip interrupted Loki’s train of thought. He whipped around, ready to unleash a series of insults at whoever dared to run into him, only to find Theo standing before him with two identical plastic cups in hand, both filled with a dark liquid similar to what Romanoff drank. The insults died on Loki’s tongue as she offered him one plastic cup, glancing down at the cup and then back at Loki before mouthing “for you.”

Loki lifted the cup and sniffed the drink; the saccharine scent of Midgardian soda intertwined with a spicy, sharp scent akin to some sort of Midgardian alcohol filled his nose, which he quite preferred to the establishment’s fetid aroma. However, Midgardian liquor would not be enough to dull his senses and render the evening tolerable; a tense chuckle – hardly more than a puff of air – escaped him at the thought.

When he looked back at Theo, her previously free hand now dangled a steel flask between two fingers for Loki to see, as if she could read his mind.

“Spiked with Thor’s whiskey,” Theo called out over the music, “You look like you need it.”

Loki rolled his eyes, schooling the discomfort from his face as he took a swallow of the beverage. 

As if the Norns recognized Loki’s frustration from the inability to converse, the ending of the next song brought a short break in the music - just long enough for the performers to switch instruments - after a relentless barrage of sensory overload, the lack of screeching instruments filling the air was a blessed reprieve. 

“Honestly, how can anyone enjoy such nonsense?” Loki leaned in towards Theo, still forced to raise his voice in order to be heard over the hollering from the inebriated audience. “It’s horrendously loud, the musicians are off-key, and the technique is terrible.”

Theo failed to bite back a grin, unfazed by Loki’s ire. “It’s not about perfection, Lo.” 

“Lo?” Loki raised an eyebrow at her. 

Theo faltered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “That’s okay, right?”

Loki sighed. “It’s—”  tolerable, at the very least  “—fine.”

Begrudgingly, Loki suspected that there were many things he’d allow Theo to call him that he wouldn’t allow anyone other than Thor to even consider.

“It’s about the feeling behind it. It helps us deal with the bad shit, like anger and sadness —“ Theo glanced toward the stage, then back at Loki. “— Life isn’t perfect. Music shouldn’t be perfect either.”

Much to Loki’s dismay, the band’s vocalist approached the microphone and announced the start of the next song.

Theo, however, lit up, practically glowing despite the dark venue.

“Listen closely to the lyrics—“ Theo instructed (via shouting) as the first chords and the drunken ruckus of the entire venue singing off-key slammed against Loki’s ears, “this is a good example!”

Had anyone else made the request, Loki would have outright refused; however, Loki trusted Theo enough to comply, and begrudgingly put forth a concerted effort to listen closely. 

A few lines in, Theo joined in singing:

“The highway won / I’m listening to traffic reports one on one, coming quietly undone / I was born to run away from anything good / an escape artist’s son / sun drenched pavement in my blood / the first thing that I do when I walk in / is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and…”

Theo kept eye contact with Loki as she sang along; a wistful look in her eyes made Loki recall some of the emotions he’d buried from his younger years. An uncomfortable void swirled in his chest as he stood amidst what he might consider to be the first tier of his personal hell. 

Yet, the song barreled on and Loki forced himself to continue focusing on the lyrical content. Though the writing was not Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, the lyricism surprised Loki with its complexity and depth. References to historical events - the Cold War scares of the sixties - interlaced with references to the lingering sentiment within tragedy led to commentary around existential anxiety, loneliness, and the fear of not fulfilling one’s potential.

Loki glanced back over to Theo, who continued to watch him while singing along. She flashed a small, almost sheepish smile as the song reached its bridge:

“Jesus Christ, I’m twenty six / all the people I graduated with / all have kids, all have wives / all have people who care if they come home at night / well Jesus Christ, did I fuck up?”

Even in the poor lighting, Loki caught a glimpse of something painful behind Theo’s expression as she uttered the phrase ‘did I fuck up?’ The expression, however, was fleeting, replaced with a different sort of intensity as Theo locked eyes with Loki for the final chorus:

“I've been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster / but I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d… stay.”

Though the song concluded, neither sorcerer made any effort to look away; something unspoken and inexplicable held them in place, frozen in a moment despite the chaos and discord of their surroundings…

… Until said chaos and discord quite literally crashed into them. 

Some drunken oaf had been shoved from the crowd and into Theo’s side, knocking her off balance. Theo let out a shriek of surprise as she stumbled forward in an attempt to not crash into Loki or spill her drink.

Without a second thought, Loki practically dove to catch her before the horde could trample her in their ‘moshing,’ even though it made his drink splash out of the cup in the process. Ignoring the liquid dripping off his other hand, he hoisted Theo up by her elbow and pulled her into his chest to steady her, at least until she regained her footing. 

Yet, when he felt her weight lift, he hesitated to let go.

“Are you alright?” Loki leaned down, close enough that his cheek brushed against Theo’s temple as he spoke into her ear. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Theo tilted her head back, the soft skin of her nose brushing against the crook of Loki’s jaw as she replied; the sensation sent a pleasant chill down Loki’s spine. “Thanks!”

Theo stepped back, and Loki forced himself to let go; though they met each other’s gaze again, this time neither of them allowed the moment to last. 

Stifled by the sheer volume of the music, the only conversation between Loki and Theo until the end of the event consisted passing comments from time to time - Theo sharing thoughts on a particular song, Loki offering to bring Theo a refill when they both finished their drinks, or one of the pair pointing out something particularly amusing.

Between comments, Loki often caught Theo singing along, though she did so in a far more discreet manner than anyone else in the venue. Despite Loki’s best attempts to focus on Theo’s voice, the sound was lost in a swell of drums and guitars and other voices. The effort invested into trying to hear Theo successfully distracted Loki from the disdain he held for everything else about his surroundings, though it did nothing to dampen the disappointment when he could not hear her far-more-melodic voice floating through the air. 

Perhaps if Theo was the one singing them, or the one playing the songs on piano, he might enjoy them more.

After far too long, the return of overhead lighting and disappearance of musicians from the stage confirmed that the event had finally drawn to a close. Wrangling the various members of their entourage required a bit of teamwork and effort, but it was not long before the Avengers exited the establishment and felt the blessedly cool air of the city against their skin. 

It did not take long before the Avengers split into smaller groups along the sidewalk, a mixture of varied walking speeds and small conversations naturally pairing certain avengers with others. Maximioff and Barnes led the group, laughing and singing along to themselves as they stumbled along. Close behind, Vision and Wilson kept a close eye on their companions as they chatted with Romanoff and Rogers.

From the back of the group, Loki observed his surroundings while relishing the quiet of night. Quiet, of course, was relative - in a city such as New York, the bustle of traffic remained such a constant that it turned into white noise with due time. Strangers occasionally passed on the sidewalk, barely giving any of the Avengers a second glance as they ventured to mystery destinations in the night. 

Farther ahead, a beggar sat near an alleyway, his back against a dumpster so thoroughly covered in graffiti that it would have been impossible to guess its original color; as groups of people passed without paying the man any mind, Loki couldn’t help but notice the man’s resigned sadness.    

“... You survived.” The comment, clearly directed towards Loki, drew his attention from the beggar, though he did not catch the full remark. 

“Pardon?” As Loki replied, he glanced over to find Theo walking beside him, somehow managing to keep pace despite her much shorter stature.

“So, you survived Emo night,” Theo repeated with a coy grin. “How terrible was it?”

“It is certainly not how I would choose to spend my time,” Loki dryly replied. “Nor is it something I would have expected you to enjoy.”

“Thought I had more cultured taste?” Theo teased, bumping Loki’s hip with hers as they strolled along. 

“Clearly I was mistaken.” Loki chuckled and shook his head. “Tell me you do not subject your actor to such nonsense…” 

“You think I can walk into a bar with him and not be swarmed?” Theo cocked a brow as she looked up at Loki. Despite the amused smirk she wore, something bittersweet lurked beneath her gaze. “Even if he could get in without drawing attention, I think the internet would drag me for bringing him to a place like that.”

“Drag you?” Loki echoed, hoping Theo might clarify what she meant by such a term.

“Chew me out. Chastise me. That sort of thing.” Theo sighed, looking ahead once more. “It’s not exactly a luxury hot spot; I’m guessing Chris’s fans would think this kind of place is beneath him.”

“What would he think?” 

“I couldn’t see him having fun, but I don’t really know,” Theo admitted with such nonchalance that it almost seemed odd. “He seems too happy to really get the appeal.” 

Loki froze in place, struck by Theo’s answer. Yes, Loki had endured hardships that others might not understand, but no one could truly exist without heartache, could they? 

Theo stopped a step ahead and glanced back at Loki. “What?” 

“I–” Loki faltered, grasping for the appropriate response. “Surely he has experienced emotions other than happiness?”

“I mean, sure?” Theo glanced ahead at the rest of the group, then back at Loki. “Look, we don’t really talk about shit like that, but I don’t think he’s ever had a bad thing happen to him. If I ever got the crazy idea to talk to him about a bad day at work, I don’t doubt that he’d listen and try to make me feel better, but I doubt he’d really understand.”

“The more you reveal about your relationship, the less I understand the appeal.” Loki shook his head and started forward once more. “I thought that Midgardians valued love for the emotional connection, and yet you seem all too content to avoid emotions in your courtship with the actor.”

“We connect in other ways.” Theo’s tone held a certain cheekiness to it, which she paired with an equally cheeky grin. “I could tell you about the se–”

“– No, I think I am quite alright –” Loki replied rather sharply, cheeks burning as he forced images of Theo in a compromising position from his mind. The last thing he needed was to linger on such inappropriate thoughts, particularly with another Avenger.

“– Hey, you were the one who said everyone has needs –” Theo pointed out, far too self-satisfied in her response, “I figured you’d get it.”

“I do not need the mundane details to understand the appeal of physical intimacy.” Loki scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I simply do not understand why you bother with the rest of the courtship if you’ve no interest in further commitment.”

Theo did not have an immediate answer; she drew in a breath as if to speak, but remained quiet. 

By that point, the pair had walked far enough that they were about to pass the beggar Loki had previously noticed; at that point, they were close enough that Loki could clearly make out the creases of age and weathered skin, as well as the faint wisps of silver where a once robust head of hair likely sat. The man’s earlier melancholy lingered in Loki’s memory, and sentiment tugged at Loki’s heartstrings, compelling him to do something. 

All it took was a twitch of Loki’s fingers to conjure some cash in hand; if nothing else, Loki figured the man could use the money for a night of shelter and a warm meal. Yet, before Loki had the chance to acknowledge the man, Theo had already greeted the man by name, then crouched down so she was at eye-level before she extended some sort of plastic card to him, saying something Loki didn't quite catch. The man, however, grinned at Theo, his smile highlighting gaps where his teeth had fallen out at some point, before thanking her for her generosity.

Dumbfounded, Loki offered a quick greeting and extended the cash, which the elderly man thanked him for, though it was not with the level of warmth that the man exuded when he spoke to Theo.

The moment they were not within earshot of the man, Loki turned to Theo. “You know him?”

“Before I was an Avenger, I played a lot of shows in this area,” Theo explained with a small shrug. “Greg used to be the janitor at one of the local bars, but since I last saw him, he had to quit because of some health problems that left him unable to work. Between the treatment and the lack of income he couldn’t pay rent and ended up on the streets. 

“I didn’t find out until a couple weeks ago, when I was walking home and I recognized him, so I stopped to talk to him and learned about what happened. I told myself that the next time I saw him, I’d put Tony’s insane bank account to use and give him enough money that he would never have to sleep on the street again, and he wouldn’t have to worry about making ends meet The card has contact info for some people who can help him with the logistics.”

“Awfully generous of you,” Loki remarked.

“Hey, you didn’t even know him, but you still gave a bit of cash too,” Theo pointed out with a soft smile. “Most people would have ignored him.”

“Yes, well, back to our previous conversation–” Uncomfortable with the direction with which Theo took his remark, Loki quickly diverted the conversation. “–You never answered my question.”

“What question?” Theo glanced at Loki as they rounded the corner, Avengers Tower stretching into the sky ahead of them.

“Why bother with a courtship if you have no intention of pursuing a serious relationship?”

 “You’re reading too much into this,” Theo laughed nervously as she shook her head. “It’s not that I refuse to be in a serious relationship - I just like to go with the flow.”

Yet, contrary to what Theo said, a familiar melancholy in Theo’s eye said otherwise - the same melancholy he caught when Theo sang, ‘the first thing that I do when I walk in is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and / I’ve been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster…’

That look in Theo’s eye told Loki everything he needed to know.

We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again, yeah, you know We're just amateur lovers With amateur friends I can tell you what you're thinking now Before you think it you can settle down Our lovin' isn't gonna burn us out We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again Yeah, let's do it again

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 15: The Sky Turned Black

Summary: When a mission goes wrong, Theo helps Loki navigate the aftermath.  

Author's Notes: Hello hello - I’m back with another chapter (and an actual header image)! Thank you to everyone who shared thoughts/theories/reactions to the last two chapters - I loved reading everyone’s perspectives! Whether or not you commented though, if you’re reading this fic, I appreciate you for giving me/this story a moment of your time. <3

A million thank-yous to @sarahscribbles and @the-lady-amphitrite for giving this chapter a read through and giving feedback <3

Next Chapter will be posted Sunday, January 28th!

Also, If you'd like to be added to the tag list for this fic, let me know!

Content Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of a bombing/attack and the destruction that follows, medical whump, and some discussions about death. I recognize that with current events, the bombing and destruction stuff might be a bit tough for folks to read - if you’re in that camp, you can skip ahead to the third chunk of the story (after ‘but this time I admit I really felt I’d start to slip’). 

Word Count: 9,264

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist Song: June - Florence + the Machine

The show was ending And I had started to crack Woke up in Chicago And the sky turned black You’re so high, you’re so high You had to be an angel And I’m so high, I’m so high I can see an angel

Unbeknownst to the general public, the Avengers (and the SHIELD agents that supported their work) went on hundreds of missions a year. Missions varied in location and purpose - Budapest for an assassination, Manitowoc for reconnaissance, Madripoor for hacking, London for retrieving highly valuable artifacts - but they always contributed to the overall safety of Midgard.

 As the Avengers were public figures, they often stuck to relatively short missions, or developed plans so any eagle-eyed observers, whether nefarious or benign, would not notice an extended absence. This was carefully calculated to ensure civilians would not panic about potential threats while ensuring the Avengers had intel to destroy any potential threats before they turned into reality.

As such, missions only made the news when something went horrifically awry.

Nothing about the day had been noteworthy. If anything, it was the epitome of a ‘typical’ day, at least for Loki. His morning consisted of reviewing a series of reports that Heimdall and Valkyrie sent him, detailing the economic impact of certain trade agreements that New Asgard would soon have the opportunity to renegotiate. He sparred with Barnes in the early afternoon, focusing on his dagger technique and sharing tips with the Winter Soldier. Afterward, he joined Dr. Banner in Stark’s lab to assist Banner with research on the physics of Seidr, remaining in the lab until shortly after dinner.  

Banner remained in the lab when Loki excused himself, unable to ignore his rumbling stomach. Loki returned to the residential quarters, casually waving at the assortment of Avengers in the living room and receiving a collection of greetings in return as he passed them on the way to the kitchen. 

In the midst of assembling a sandwich for a late dinner, the shrill voice of a reporter on the nearby television caught Loki’s attention.

“Breaking News: A bombing just outside Chicago has thrown the city into chaos–”

Chicago—

Thor was in Chicago.

Loki sprinted to the sitting room, abandoning an assortment of condiments and toppings on the counter in his rush to learn if his brother had been amidst those impacted.

He arrived to find Maximoff, Barnes, Wilson, Parker, and Belova glued to the television, eyes wide and mouths hanging slightly agape as rising flames and rubble flashed in front of them.

No one uttered a word; Hel, they barely offered Loki a wayward glance as he collapsed into an empty seat and struggled to ignore the festering unease gnawing at his chest as he too became entranced by the breaking news.

On the screen in front of them, a horrifying scene unfolded: innocent civilians, coated in ash, blood, and debris as they ran for their lives, crying out for loved ones. Individuals draped from head to toe in black firing weapons that did not look like anything the Avengers had seen before, beams of octarine light tearing through solid rock and steel like a hot knife through butter. The shrill wail of sirens clashed with the voice of the television reporter, solemn-faced as they recounted the details.

“—massacre — multiple casualties — suspected terrorist attack —“

Amidst the chaos, glimpses of the Avengers who had been sent into the field did little to quell anyone’s anxiety. Barely recognizable beneath shredded armor and the grit of war, they attempted to evacuate civilians while fighting back against the attackers.

At a brief sighting of a bloody, ragged Thor fighting off an adversary, Loki’s blood turned to ice. Of the many times Loki fought alongside Thor, he rarely, if ever his brother in such a haggard state from fighting, which elicited its own special sort of dread. What if this threat was too much for Thor to survive? 

Even after confirmations that the Avengers had prevailed and the attackers were no more, breaking news alerts flashed across the bottom of the screen with headlines that only increased in severity. Emergency rescue crews struggled to control the fires that came from the explosions, dragging unrecognizable bodies from smoke-filled shells of buildings. 

With shaking hands, Loki retrieved his mobile device from his pocket and dialed Thor’s telephone number.

“You’ve reached the voicemail—“

The damn thing didn’t even ring before the automated greeting began.

With a growl, Loki ended the call and threw his phone against the sofa cushion. 

It was foolish to worry; Thor was a God. He was a warrior. He survived far worse than a simple Midgardian bomb. Of course Thor wouldn’t answer his mobile phone; he was in the middle of being the hero that everyone expected him to be. 

And yet, with every minute that passed, with every flame that rose on the television screen, with every new death count, the coil of dread tightened in Loki’s chest. 

Loki buried his face in his hands, fighting to steady his breathing.

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Belova attempted to reassure Loki, though her constant glances at her own mobile device, as if checking for a response from the elder widow, did not escape him. 

Any other plans for the evening had long been forgotten. Wilson and Barnes monitored government and SHIELD communication channels for updates on agents who were at the scene of the attack. Maximoff searched for additional news coverage on her laptop, while in the background survivors shakily recounted the moment that changed their lives forever. Belova and Parker took to social media to find first-hand accounts and updates from ground-level, announcing anything they found to be noteworthy.

In the midst of everything, Loki exchanged messages with Val and Heimdall. While early messages from Heimdall provided reassurance that he could still track Thor’s presence, that reassurance fell away with time; when Heimdall no longer felt Thor’s presence, the conversation changed to implementing the protocol for ruling in Thor’s unanticipated absence, incapacitation, or, though Loki prayed to the Norns it was not the case, Thor’s death.

Every once in a while, an Avenger appeared on-screen, providing at least some reassurance that perhaps circumstances were not as dire as initially thought. When the cameras focused on an area cordoned off for medical care providers to triage and transport victims, they caught sight of Theo. Though she appeared a bit weathered and her armor had torn in the fighting, Loki recognized the way she directed the staff around her from the many times he visited her while she worked. 

Rogers had appeared multiple times, often carrying victims from the rubble and comforting distraught bystanders, appearing equally haggard but still maintaining a steely resolve. Civilian-recorded video of the Vision and Stark lifting up massive sections of concrete to free trapped victims quickly took over social media, subsequently appearing on the news. 

At two separate points, a surge of hope stole Loki’s breath away as he thought he saw Thor, only for it to be a civilian. Belova experienced a similar sensation with potential sightings of Romanoff, though she seemed less concerned for the elder widow’s safety.

Nearly four hours after the news of the attack broke, an announcement blared through Avengers Tower, drowning out the doomsday scenario on television: “We need all available medics to report to the hangar immediately; we have a quinjet arriving in t-15 minutes with twelve level-1 trauma patients.” 

I hear your heart beating in your chest The world slows ‘til there’s nothing left And skyscrapers look on like great, unblinking giants In those heavy days in June When love became an act of defiance

In the moments leading up to the quinjet’s return, the tension in the hangar could have been cut with a knife. 

Through the hangar’s glass and steel door, the darkest of nights loomed. Not even the glow of lights from the city below could dispel the darkness, creating an expanse of endless obsidian sky that Loki recognized from his time in the void.

Inside the hangar, harsh fluorescent lights left nothing to the imagination, their light so bright and jarring against the black sky that Loki’s eyes burned. The stench of motor oil and gasoline filled the air, only amplifying the churning of Loki’s stomach. 

Multiple stretchers waited with teams of medics at their command. Someone Loki recognized as one of Theo’s colleagues spoke on the comms with the returning jets and with the infirmary staff, alternating between briefing the medics about the patients they would receive and preparing for the influx of injuries. Despite Loki’s best attempts to glean even the smallest of details that might inform him of his brother’s condition, other conversations and background noise drowned out the doctor’s voice. 

The Avengers who had not been sent to Chicago congregated in relatively close proximity, waiting with bated breath for any news of their peers. Banner, who had been in the lab until the announcement of the jet’s return, paced back and forth, glancing between the hangar entrance and the ground. Barnes stood at attention, arms crossed against his chest and fingers tapping against his vibranium bicep impatiently. 

Belova leaned against a metal wall, flipping her mobile phone in hand as if it were a dagger. Parker mirrored Belova’s stance, though he placed all of his weight upon one leg, restlessly bouncing the other at a frantic pace until Loki had to look away before he snapped at the spiderling. Maximoff and Wilson distanced themselves from the group, discussing something in hushed voices while glancing back and forth between the group and the hangar’s entrance.

A familiar voice rang out through the hangar’s intercoms, abruptly stopping all conversation. “Agent Romanoff to Air Control, we are five minutes out. Are we cleared to land?”

“Air control to Agent Romanoff,” the reply came through, “Hangar door is opening now.”

The mass of steel and glass which constituted the hangar door groaned as the mechanics which propelled its movement activated. As if weighed down by the heaviness of everyone’s attention, the door slid open at a pace which made a snail seem like an olympian sprinter. The scraping of metal wheels against metal tracks echoed through the hangar. 

All the while, everyone remained frozen in place; even Parker refrained from bouncing his leg. No one spoke. If it weren’t for Loki’s location, which placed the majority of the hangar’s occupants in his line of sight, he might think the hangar completely empty.

When the door finished opening, the medics sprang back to life, arranging themselves in preparation for the jet’s imminent arrival. 

“Agent Romanoff to Air Control - we are in final descent. T-one minute out.”

A wave of relief collided with a storm of fear at the first glimpse of steel and turbines. Loki’s heart rate careened out of control, the pounding in his ears drowning out all sound. He ran a trembling hand through his hair and tugged at the curls, desperate for news that his brother was alright while dreading the possibility that his brother was among those who needed immediate care. 

Though Romanoff landed the aircraft quickly, the exit ramp’s descent was anything but quick. The first teams of medics brought gurneys forward, but upon looking into the rear of the jet, stepped aside to clear a path. For what, Loki didn’t know, nor did he have time to inquire – the steel ramp touched down on the concrete floor, and the hangar roared into a frenzy of organized chaos. 

Theo leapt off the side of the ramp to stand beside the medics, ushering another pair of medics carrying a patient on some sort of stiff board down to the first team of medics. Like Theo, the patient could barely be recognized beneath dust, ash, and blood, though their unusually large stature made Loki’s heart stutter and his breath catch in his throat. A glimpse of blond sullied with dust, ash, and blood that matted itself in long locks did nothing to ease the festering dread that had settled into Loki’s stomach. 

While the medics transferred the individual onto the gurney, Loki crept closer, only to confirm his worst fear: Thor, unconscious and beaten within an inch of his life, laid before him, his fate at the mercy of mere Midgardians. 

No.

“What happened?” Loki rushed forward, pushing through the medics crowding the gurney so he could get a better look at Thor. Some sort of monitoring device flashed numbers upon a screen, while the medics relayed a series of data points that made no sense to the prince and only incensed him further. “What happened to my brother?”

One medic attempted to explain as they whisked Thor out of the hangar, but none of the words registered in Loki’s mind; all he could think about was the looming threat of losing Thor, the only brother he had. They hadn’t even reached the hangar’s exit when the shrill cry of an alarm interrupted and the collection of medics, along with the gurney, jolted to an abrupt stop.

“Dr. Amaris,” one medic shouted back towards the aircraft, “Thor’s coding!”

Not understanding what the medic meant, Loki turned to the monitor for answers.

No, Thor–

All Hel broke loose. 

“He’s bleeding out!”

Medics tore the remaining scraps of Thor’s armor off his body, shouting instructions at each other. 

“Start compressions!”

“What is happening?” Loki snarled. They ignored him, instead applying pressure to wounds and repeatedly pressing on Thor’s chest as they continued shouting commands among each other. “I demand you tell me what is happening!”

It was as if Loki was not even there; no one even acknowledged his presence. One medic glanced past Loki and towards the aircraft, calling out a series of terms that Allspeak could not translate. 

“Please–” Loki pleaded, desperate for any answer he could receive, “This is my brother—”

“Out of my way!”

The command boomed through the hangar, barely reaching Loki’s ears before someone shoved him aside and leapt onto the stretcher. They straddled Thor as if it were second nature,  seamlessly transitioning into pressing on his chest while barking orders at the individuals around them. 

Loki stumbled, caught off guard by the strength of the shove - never had a Midgardian managed to move him with such ease. The stretcher raced towards the infirmary before Loki could regain his footing, though he gave chase and quickly caught up to the entourage of medics surrounding his brother while they waited for the elevator. As he arrived, he realized just who happened to shove him aside as if it were child’s play: 

Theo. 

Black tendrils of smoke surrounded her blue-gloved hands and trailed up her forearms, forming runes that floated just above her skin. She continued to instruct the other medics, her focus razor-sharp as the runes moved down her arms and enveloped Thor.  

“What is wrong with my brother?” Loki demanded once more. His frustration at the lack of acknowledgement intertwined with his desperation and fear at the grievous state his brother returned in, fueling Loki’s ire until he teetered dangerously on the edge of explosion.

“Loki, your brother has some pretty serious injuries,” Theo calmly replied, glancing at the monitor as she continued her work. “We’re taking care of it though - I’ll fill you in later, but right now I need to focus on Thor!”

The lack of panic in Theo’s response only further incensed Loki. Did she not care about Thor’s well-being? Did she not realize who it was that needed care? This was no Midgardian - this was Thor. Thor, the King of Asgard. God of Thunder!

And yet, she treated him like any other patient.

“You act like he’s a simple Midgardian!” Loki bellowed, the torrent of fear and anger unleashing itself upon anyone and everyone around him.” You know nothing of how to heal the Aesir— he will die at your hand!”

“Rather than argue, I’m just going to prove you wrong.” Despite her infuriatingly calm tone, Theo leveled a blistering glare at the younger Asgardian. What were previously the whites of Theo’s eyes had turned pitch black, her irises white and her pupils a pale, smoky gray. “He’s not dying at anyone’s hand today - especially not mine. Now, please be quiet and let me do my job.”

Loki froze, stunned. No one had ever had the audacity to speak to him in such a way - and yet, she didn’t even think twice.

Theo didn’t notice Loki’s surprise - she continued to direct the other medics before returning her attention to the God of Thunder. Theo recited an incantation under her breath, causing the runes trailed into Thor’s open mouth and down his throat. Once Theo uttered the final words, a flash of light shot from Theo’s hands and into Thor’s chest. 

With a jolt, Thor’s chest shot up and he gasped for air; his chest rose and fell, and the monitor ceased to scream. 

Thor’s revival brought Loki no relief, however - the possibility of needing further revival ensured Loki remained just as on-edge, even as they descended upon the elevator, then careened down the halls in a mad dash to the infirmary. 

Just before Loki could follow his brother into the Emergency ward, someone restrained him with an iron-clad grip and dragged him back towards the waiting room.

“Unhand me!” Loki roared, whipping around to find Sergeant Barnes had taken hold of him. “I need to be with my brother!”

With a growl, Loki attempted to free himself from Barnes’ grasp, but against the vibranium arm it was useless.

“They don’t have room for you back there.” Barnes’ flat affect, combined with the infuriatingly stoic expression he wore, only served to further flare Loki’s temper. “You’re only going to make it harder for them to work.”

“They know nothing of the care an Aesir requires!” Loki spat his protest at Barnes, who didn’t even flinch.

“I’m pretty sure they do, given Theo just saved your brother’s life.” The Winter Soldier arched one eyebrow at the Asgardian in a subtle challenge. “If you get in their way, a lot of other people might be losing their brother or sister.”

Loki clenched his jaw, scowling as he once again attempted to wrestle himself free from the Sergeant’s inescapable grip.

“I get it.” Barnes continued to stare at Loki with such unwavering intensity that made Loki’s skin crawl. “I lose my shit when Steve gets hurt too.”

“You truly believe your friendship with the captain is remotely close to that of a brother?”  Incensed by the thought of comparing Thor to a simple friend, Loki sneered. “You could never understand.”

“Steve may not be my brother in blood, but he is in every way that matters. Just like you and Thor.” Barnes replied, ice-blue eyes locking onto Loki’s. “When no one else believed in me, Steve did. When everyone was convinced that I was nothing more than a monster, that I was past redemption, Steve still saw the good in me and he fought for me. Everyone else we grew up with, our real families - they’re all dead. The world we knew is a distant memory. Steve is the only person I have left. No one else has been through what we’ve been through; no one else understands what it’s like to suddenly wake up and everything has changed.”

There was a certain vulnerability in Barnes’ eyes that Loki hadn’t ever seen before, and a conviction in his voice that Loki had only heard a handful of times. The combination proved to be enough to disarm Loki’s most barbed retorts, allowing the Sergeant to continue:

“Thor always believed in you and always saw the good in you, even when you didn’t see it yourself. Your entire realm was destroyed, your family is gone, and no one else lived through being Asgardian royalty - Thor is all you have left, and he’s the only one who understands.” Barnes let out a tense breath, still locked into Loki’s gaze as he released Loki from his grasp. “I get it.” 

All the while, the stream of medics and stretchers heading into the emergency department remained steady, validating Barnes’ previous argument: there would not be room in the ward for Loki to accompany his brother.

“Theo’s good at what she does. Dr. Cho and Dr. Harper are world-renowned. They will make sure Thor’s just fine.” Barnes slapped a hand on Loki’s shoulder, to which Loki flinched. “Let them do their thing.”

Begrudgingly, Loki nodded and let out a sigh, running one hand through his hair and then tugging on the ends. 

“I suppose you are correct.”

“I know I am.” Barnes smirked; the urge to remove the smirk from Barnes’ face struck with such intensity that Loki barely managed to restrain himself. “And Loki?”

“What?” The snippy tone was all too obvious.

“You should probably apologize to Theo for what you said…” When Loki’s response was a sour glare, Barnes steeled himself and locked eyes with the Asgardian yet again, undeterred. “She’s your friend and she saved your brother's life. Even if she wasn’t your friend, that was a shitty thing to say to someone who was helping. Swallow your pride.”

With that, Barnes departed, and left Loki with nothing but his spiraling thoughts as he waited for any scrap of news regarding his brother’s wellbeing.

You were broken hearted And the world was too And I was beginning to lose my grip And I have always held it loosely, But this time I admit I really felt I’d start to slip

The Emergency Department may as well have been ransacked.

Wrappers for medical supplies, towels stained a deep crimson, discarded gloves, and protective gear covered the once-charcoal floor. With such a high volume of patients, they didn’t even have time to properly dispose of their protective gear in a bin, too-focused on putting on fresh gloves and gowns to ensure they could keep up with the relentless stream of victims needing care. Theo lifted up one foot, cringing as the sole of her shoe stuck to the floor from the residue of congealing blood.

She would have to bake the janitorial staff a cake as a thank-you for cleaning up after such a busy day. 

Glancing at the clock, Theo let out a heavy sigh.

11:37 PM. 

Twenty-nine hours earlier, a deafening crash rang out amidst the skyscrapers of Chicago, and with it the city turned into something from Theo’s worst fears. What was meant to be a simple reconnaissance mission turned into fighting off an attack from insurgents that made Theo’s hair stand on the back of her neck. She didn’t recognize the attackers because of their masks and outfits of all-black, but the artillery they brought with them seemed unnervingly familiar.

The hour that followed was a waking nightmare spent evacuating innocent people while fighting off the mystery attackers. For the three hours after, Theo worked alongside rescue crews to enact mass-casualty protocols, her heart breaking all over again with every black tag she had to assign to a victim. Theo may have been a powerful healer, but it would have been impossible for her to save everyone; instead, she had to conserve her energy for absolute emergencies. 

Though she had every intent of remaining on-scene to continue rescue efforts, SHIELD had other ideas. In order to allow all of Chicago’s medical resources to be diverted towards caring for victims of the blast, SHIELD would transport all injured agents back to New York for care at Avengers’ tower, starting with the most severely injured, which meant Theo would be needed at the hospital in New York. 

She returned to New York with the first jet, scrambling alongside SHIELD medics to keep the nearly twenty injured agents on the jet alive and stable until they had reinforcements.

From the time Theo landed to when she took in the aftermath, twenty five hours had passed. Multiple jets followed the first, each with more patients who needed a level of care that couldn’t be found in other hospitals. Those twenty five hours passed in a blur of organized chaos: triage, treat, send off to surgery or a ward depending on the injuries, rinse and repeat. Theo barely had time to clean herself up enough that she wouldn’t be considered an infection risk from the ash and dust that had practically become a second skin.

In what both Helen and Julie described as a miracle, all of the patients who hadn’t died before arriving in New York survived. It wasn’t a miracle, though; Theo spent the entire time darting between gurneys, magically treating the worst of the wounds and reviving patients as needed. She had to revive three separate agents, which left her with a bloody nose, a throbbing headache, sore muscles, and more nauseous than she cared to admit - but everyone lived, and that was what mattered.

Of the many patients Theo treated upon landing, one lurked in the back of her mind: Thor.  Physically, the process of re-starting Thor’s heart was taxing, but not as bad as a full revival. Mentally, it was one of the less pleasant moments. However, the memory that lingered was less about reviving Thor and more about Loki’s remark as she worked on Thor that twisted her stomach into knots: “You act like he’s a simple Midgardian! You know nothing of how to heal the Aesir— he will die at your hand!”

The statement could easily be attributed to the heat of the moment, but that didn’t make it sting any less. If it was a field agent that she didn’t know who was freaking out about their partner, that was one thing - she could shake that off, and she had plenty of times before.

But Loki? 

Loki knew about her fears and how much losing a patient impacted her, even if she didn’t know the patient before. And to have him question — no, not question, outright doubt — her capabilities?

Well, his words cut far deeper and were much harder to shake.

When the final patient was stabilized and transferred out of the emergency department, Theo was the only doctor who didn’t immediately change out of her scrubs and go home to sleep. Not that she wasn’t looking forward to burying herself under a mountain of blankets and sleeping for the next two days, because she was. But she knew herself well enough to know she wouldn’t be able to rest without checking on Thor first.

Maybe she was after the reassurance that Thor was, in fact, recovering. Maybe she just needed to end the night by coming full-circle, checking on the first patient she took care of. Why she needed to check on him wasn't important; as long as she knew he was alright, that was what mattered.

Theo slipped through the halls of the hospital, making her way to Thor’s room. Unlike the emergency department, which constantly bustled with people coming and going, the halls of the ward were almost eerily quiet. After the bustle and chaos of the last 24 hours, the quiet and relative peace was refreshing. 

Other than a nurse sitting at the nurse’s station in Thor’s unit, Theo didn’t run into a single person. That was probably for the best, because Theo could guarantee that she looked like a mess. The nurse offered a tired smile and nod, to which Theo nodded back. The nurse pointedly glanced at an open door a bit further down the hall, then nodded again. Following the nurse’s gaze, Theo realized the nurse had been pointing her to Thor’s room. 

Theo gave the nurse another smile and nod, then closed the remaining distance to the open door. She stopped in the entrance and leaned against the doorframe, taking in the sight before her.

The bed had been tilted up at the waist, giving Theo a better view of Thor, who slept peacefully… At least, as peacefully as someone could sleep after nearly dying. Freshly washed golden blonde locks fanned out across his pillow. His skin already regained a somewhat healthy flush - probably something to do with the enhanced healing of the Aesir, but as one of the first patients treated, he had a bit of a head start on the whole recovery thing. 

Though he slept, Thor had a visitor who wasn’t Theo. Despite sitting with their back to the door, the perfectly erect posture and inky curls could have only belonged to one person: Loki.

Loki’s presence nearly made Theo turn on her heel and high-tail it out of there. She just stopped in to check on Thor; facing Loki was something she wasn’t sure she could handle at the moment. With how tired she was, Theo didn’t trust herself to avoid saying something that would make an already awkward situation worse. Loki needed someone to support him, not someone to piss him off. 

“You need not lurk in the entrance,” Loki spoke up, not even turning around to look at Theo as he addressed her. “If you wish to enter, do so.”

Whether he knew it was Theo or not was a mystery, but he must have at least sensed someone’s presence. Regardless, it wasn’t like she could sneak away anymore.

Pushing away from the doorframe, Theo sighed. 

“I didn’t mean to intrude.” She hesitantly stepped into the room, but stayed close to the door. If the conversation went south, she’d at least have a quick out. “I just finished working, so I thought I’d see how Thor was doing…You know, make sure he was still alive and all… Still Aesir, not a midgardian zombie or something.”

Damn her lack of filter. 

A breathless puff of laughter escaped Loki, sounding almost surprised. Before Theo could turn and run, Loki twisted in his seat to face her, his narrowed eyes trailing up and down her body. His expression gave away no clues as to whether he was laughing because he found her comment amusing or because he was shocked she had the guts to speak to him like that, or anything to tell her where his mind was at.

“He remains alive and Aesir,” Loki finally replied, offering a tired smirk. “Though you, mortal, look a bit too close to a zombie for comfort.”

Theo rolled her eyes, but cracked a smile. She should have known something like that was coming. Beyond having bags under her bloodshot eyes and the inevitable loss of color in her skin from the revivals, Theo was almost positive her hair resembled a rat’s nest… But that was typical after a normal shift in the emergency department. After 24 hours straight, not to mention coming from a literal battle ground, she could only imagine what she must have looked like. 

“We just finished triaging and stabilizing everyone…” Theo shrugged, keeping her smile from Loki’s observation. “It's not for the faint of heart.”

“No, but you are nowhere near faint of heart,” Loki murmured, offering a small, hesitant smile of his own. “For that, I am grateful.”

Theo nodded, uncertain of how to take his remark. She shoved her hands in her pockets, glancing around the rest of the room. Assorted bouquets of flowers and cards stood on display, covering the majority of the room’s surfaces. The whirring and beeping of monitors and machines filled the silence between them. 

“Thank you for caring for my brother.” Loki’s attention returned to Thor, who still slept. “I apologize for my remarks earlier - I let my emotions overtake me. It was inappropriate for me to speak to you in such a harsh manner.”

The simple fact that she didn’t have to prompt him for the apology made it seem genuine, but the underlying distrust remained hard for Theo to shake. After all, wasn’t there something about how the things people say in the heat of the moment are what they feel deep down?

“It’s no problem,” Theo bit the inside of her cheek, glancing at Thor before returning her attention to Loki. “Sorry for my less than professional response… I uh, get a bit intense in the heat of the moment.”

“You need not apologize - your reaction was justified.” Loki nodded, still focused on his brother’s face. “I trust you with my life, and I do not doubt in the slightest that you would fight tirelessly to save any life you could…” He faltered, drawing in a sharp breath before letting out a weary sigh. “If I am entirely honest, I am not certain as to why I stated you would not be able to care for Thor, as I know better.”

The knot in Theo’s chest unraveled a bit more.

“I get it,” Theo reassured him, stepping closer so she could rest one hand on his shoulder. “Thor’s your brother. If I were in your position, I’d do the same.”

Loki covered her hand with his own, finally meeting Theo’s gaze. Red rimmed his eyes, making his seaglass green irises stand out even more than usual; combined with his disheveled curls, Theo realized that this was the most distressed that she had ever seen Loki before.

“He’ll be alright,” Theo murmured, squeezing Loki’s shoulder, “And he’s lucky to have a brother who cares as much about him as you do.”

Theo caught the slightest quiver in Loki’s lip and the way his eyes briefly glistened, but she didn’t say anything. Frankly, she didn’t know what she would even say. Blood never scared her, but the second someone she knew started crying her heart hammered in her chest and her palms grew clammy; forget trying to carry a train of thought, much less a conversation. 

“Thank you,” Loki whispered, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He tightened his grip on Theo’s hand, pressing it more firmly onto his shoulder.

With a quiet sigh, Theo shifted her weight between her aching feet once more. No longer running all over and fueled by adrenaline, the physical toll of going at full speed for so long started to make their presence known. 

Still, she didn’t try to remove her hand from Loki’s shoulder. Loki obviously needed the support, and he didn’t seem like he was about to ask for it. Besides, if her silent gesture stopped any potential tears, she could handle the aching feet that came with standing.

“You mentioned that you recently finished stabilizing the other agents…” Loki’s brows drew together as he returned his attention to Theo. “It has been over twenty four hours since they returned. Have you taken any breaks to rest, or to eat?”

“I worked straight through.” Theo shook her head. “We had lives to save. That’s the nature of what we do; it doesn’t wait for anyone’s lunch break to finish.” 

Loki replied with a displeased hum and a frown. He removed his hand from Theo’s, the cold air in the room a crisp contrast to the warmth of his skin. With a flick of his wrist, he used some seidr to move one of the  chairs from the other side of the bed to sit beside him. “You ought to take a seat - you’ve certainly earned the opportunity to rest.”

With a timid, grateful smile, Theo sat down. Relaxing her muscles brought instant relief, though the motion reminded her of how much her entire body ached after reviving people.

“How are the other agents?”

“Barring any complications, they’ll be alright,” Theo slouched back in the chair, arms resting on the sides as she settled in. “Recovery times will vary, but the fact we were able to save everyone who made it back to New York is a miracle in and of itself.”

If there were complications, well… Theo lived in the building. They knew where to find her.

“That is excellent news,” Loki remarked, resting his hand atop Theo’s as it sat on the arm of the chair between them. Though Theo did her best not to acknowledge the gesture, it certainly caught her attention. “You seem truly exhausted.”

“When you’re running on adrenaline, it’s easy to go for a long time and feel totally fine,” she shrugged, “but now all the adrenaline is wearing off and I’m definitely feeling the consequences.” 

“The consequences?”

“Fatigue, sore muscles, all that good stuff.” Theo softened the remark with a hint of a smile. Loki already had Thor to focus on; he didn’t need to hear Theo complain. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m used to working long stretches - normally my shifts are twelve-plus hours at a time. The only time I work twenty four hour shifts are when I’m on call, and I usually get to nap somewhere in there. But with the number of SHIELD agents impacted and the volume of casualties, we needed all hands on deck.”

“Seems it was quite the undertaking,” Loki murmured.

“Yeah — By the time we were done it looked like a tornado came through and destroyed everything. I can’t imagine what the hospitals in Chicago are dealing with right now.” 

Loki arched an eyebrow at her as if asking her to elaborate. 

“Up until I had to come back to New York, I was working with rescue crews to implement mass casualty protocols; essentially, we search through the rubble for people, triage to get a sense of how badly they are injured, then assign a colored tag based on how severely they are injured.” Theo let out a tense breath. She looked down at the floor, lowering her voice when she continued: “I’ve never triaged so many patients in such a short period of time, and they still had so much work to do when I left. The hospitals there are probably still drowning with patients, despite all the black tags.”

“… Black tags?”

“Victims who were dead or were about to die, regardless of medical intervention,” Theo quietly explained. “I gave twenty two people black tags today, and not all of them were dead on discovery.” Admitting the truth aloud made Theo want to vomit. “Making that call never gets easier.”

If anything, it only got harder to make that call.

With an absentminded hum, Loki nodded. He brought his attention back to Thor, who slept soundly. “Will you have time to rest and recuperate before your next shift?”

“I’m supposed to have the next two days off,” Theo answered with a halfhearted shrug, the black tags still lurking in her mind. “but if I’m needed I’ll be in to help.”

Loki frowned, narrowing his eyes at Theo.

“What?” 

“You spend all your time caring for others,” Loki observed, “Yet caring for yourself seems to be an afterthought.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I’ll be fine.” Theo rolled her eyes, but forced a half-smile. “I just need a nap and I’ll be good to go.”

It wasn’t entirely true. If Theo didn’t need to use any more magic, she’d technically be fine, despite a headache and some queasiness that would probably last for a few days. For the moment, though, the explanation would suffice. 

Besides, aleve and pepto bismol were available on Earth, so she could always resort to pharmacological solutions to keep her going. 

Though he responded with a skeptical glance, Loki didn’t push the subject. His hand remained atop Theo’s, but he slipped his fingers between hers and squeezed.

“What about you?” Theo glanced up at Loki. “I’m guessing you haven’t left that chair since you were allowed to see him?” 

“Guilty as charged, I suppose.” Loki’s head wobbled slightly from side to side, but he didn’t look at Theo. 

“There’s nothing to feel guilty about.” Theo squeezed his hand back, holding it tight for just a moment longer. “He’s your brother - it’s normal to want to be here.”

“I suppose it depends on who you ask,” Loki muttered, letting go of Theo to scrub his face with both hands. “There are those—“

“The only person whose opinion matters is you.” Theo gently interrupted, ducking her head to lock eyes with Loki. “At the end of the day, it’s your brother—“

“That is not how one operates when responsible for a nation and its people.” The interruption was sharp, almost irascible. As if to emphasize his irritation, he dropped his arms to rest on the sides of the chair and threw his head back towards the ceiling. “One’s personal desires are of negligible importance in the grand scheme of the realms.”

Oh, he did not just go there. 

Theo bit down on the inside of her cheek so hard that the sharp tang of iron filled her mouth, and it was all she could do so she wouldn’t say something she would later regret. 

In Loki’s defense, he had no idea why that remark would rub her the wrong way, and he was obviously stressed. 

“Just because you are a ruler does not mean you have to sacrifice your emotions,” Theo quietly challenged, wringing her hands in her lap. “There are many who would argue that feeling and acknowledging those emotions makes you a better leader.”

Loki fell silent, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. The tendons along his clenched jaw shifted as if trying not to unleash a flurry of barbed words on Theo. If Theo was lucky, Loki was simply working through how he wanted to reply, but the slight narrowing of his eyes as he kept his attention facing ahead did little to reassure Theo that he wasn’t about to verbally eviscerate her. 

After a prolonged pause, he let out a tense breath and ran one hand through his hair. He leaned forward in his seat, taking hold of Thor’s hand.  

“From previous experience, sentiment has only led to suffering.” The concession was hushed, barely audible amongst the background noise. 

“And yet, you still care. That’s worth something.” Theo pointed out, attention trained on Loki. “From experience, it only hurts worse if you try to ignore it.”

He pointedly avoided her gaze, instead focusing on Thor’s hand, the tan skin contrasting against his own. He brushed a thumb against the back of Thor’s hand, a delicate gesture in contrast to his hardened expression.

As silence stretched between them once more, questions of whether Theo pushed too hard swirled in her mind. Who was she, after all, to make him confront such a sore subject? Sure, it started with an attempt to reassure him, but it went south embarrassingly fast.

Theo really needed to learn when to shut the hell up.

This time, it was too late to shut up, so that led to a new series of questions: would it be awkward if she left? Or was it more awkward if she stayed? 

Theo brought her attention to her sneakers, noticing the scuffs along the once crisp white soles. Flexing her toes back and forth, she watched how the scuffs bent with each movement of her foot. The longer she watched, the more meditative the motions felt, allowing her mind to fall somewhat quiet.

“Forgive me. I should not have snapped at you.” Loki broke the silence, startling Theo so she jumped in her seat and jerked her head towards Loki. He regarded her with a sheepish curl on one side of his lips, somewhere between apologetic and amused.

A sharp throb between Theo’s temples, the consequence of moving so quickly, forced a wince from her. She grimaced, massaging her temples in a feeble attempt to lessen the discomfort. 

“Sorry,” Theo countered, her voice straining ever-so-slightly with each pulse against her skull. “I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“Ah, I beg to differ.” Loki chuckled, almost to himself. The smile that had initially started as sheepish curled up further, taking on a glint of something else that Theo couldn’t quite describe. “If left unchallenged, who knows what chaos might ensue.”

Despite the headache, Theo managed a weak chuckle and nodded. The movement left her oddly unsteady; she closed her eyes and waited for the sensation to pass.

Lightly calloused fingers curled around Theo’s wrists, gently tugging her hands away from her head. Theo opened her eyes to find the smile had fallen from Loki’s face, replaced instead by a furrowed brow and a frown. “You’ve a headache?”

“Yeah,” Theo admitted, before quickly adding: “It’s not that bad though. I have stuff for it, I just need to take it.”

Loki released Theo’s wrists; Theo found herself missing the warmth. “Though I will admit it is nice to have company, you really ought to take some medicine for your head and rest.” 

He was right, but it also felt wrong to leave him alone.

Theo sighed. “You should get some rest too, you know.”

“I doubt I could sleep, even if I were to lay down.” Loki shook his head. “If Thor were to need anything and I wasn’t there, I–”

“It’s alright, you don’t need to justify it to me.” Theo cut him off, though not unkindly. She rose to her feet, pausing to blink away the static that clouded her vision from the head rush that followed. “Text me if you need anything, okay? Even if it’s at a weird time.”

To Theo’s surprise, Loki also stood; he closed the distance between her and embraced her, clutching her to his chest. She didn’t have to think twice before wrapping her arms around him, returning the gesture.

“Thank you,” Loki whispered, his breath warm against the top of Theo’s head.

“Of course,” Theo replied, her voice muffled by his chest. She inhaled and caught the familiar scent of his cologne - warm, spicy, woodsy - and smiled. That smile stayed when they both finally pulled away, hands brushing as they lowered their arms; a nervous chuckle slipped out of Loki, and if Theo didn’t know any better she would have thought his cheeks grew pink.

“Good night, Theo.”  Loki lingered for a moment, gazing at Theo with a shy smile.

“Good night, Loki.” 

The halls of the hospital were emptier than a ghost town as Theo made the trip back to her suite; the chill of the filtered air clung to Theo’s skin, even through her clothes. Theo shivered, her muscles aching with each tremor of her limbs. She folded her arms across her chest and tried to ignore it, but she wasn’t warm like Loki, so it did little to ward off the cold.

When she finally got back to her suite and climbed into bed, the space beside her felt especially empty. But after such a long day, the observation was fleeting; she barely closed her eyes before she was already drifting to sleep.

Choirs sang in the street And I would come to you To watch the television screen In your hotel room I’m always down to hide with you

Though years had passed since Loki made Midgard his home, there were elements he had not grown accustomed to… Chief among them were Midgardian healing methods.

Ever since Thor returned to him bruised and bloodied, Loki found himself thinking back to Eir and missing the Soul Forges of Asgard. Asgardian healing was without a doubt far superior to anything the Midgardians could muster. The longer Loki stared at the tubes and wires attached to his brother’s body, the more he considered the possibility that it might have been for the best if he had conquered Midgard all those years ago, if for no other reason than it would have resulted in Soul Forges on Midgard.

Sure, Thor had made considerable progress while infirmed; if the doctors were to be believed, Thor’s injuries were healing nicely. 

That didn’t mean Loki had to like seeing his brother in an infirmary bed for days on end. On the contrary: the sight grated him like none other. Sitting in a stiff, metal-framed chair day in and day out, only able to offer meager comforts to his brother, was its own kind of Hel. 

And to see Thor - Thor, who was always the stronger brother, the protector, the warrior - to see him reduced to being weak as a kitten?

The more Loki considered the reality of the situation, the more his blood boiled.

However, each time his temper neared a breaking point - when he was about to snarl at the slightest inconvenience, Theo just happened to appear. She always claimed she was simply ‘dropping by to see how the patient was doing,’ but the knowing glance shared between the nurses whenever she arrived told Loki there was more to the story. 

Regardless, she was there, and her mere presence stilled the constant storms brewing in his soul. 

Sometimes she calmed the tempest by answering Loki’s burning questions - why certain treatments were more effective than others, the purpose of various tests, what the results of those tests meant. It was not that the doctors in charge of Thor’s care withheld information; they were quite forthcoming with Loki and seemed more than willing to answer his questions. Loki recognized they truly put forth their best efforts to assuage his concerns, and though it was not always effective he appreciated the effort. However, for whatever reason Theo’s answers contained some unknown element that put Loki at ease, even if they were almost identical to the answers from Thor’s doctors. 

Other times, she offered a distraction from the discord brewing within. On the days when she visited after concluding her work in the infirmary, the distraction typically came in the form of a film or television show. Though the shows and films varied in genre and premise, there were elements in common: they all involved some element of comedy and varying degrees of mischief. Whenever she suggested something to watch, Theo always took time to explain what it was about the selection that she thought the brothers would enjoy, though it did not escape Loki’s observation that there were always details which she felt Loki specifically would enjoy.

Thankfully, the end of the nightmare was near. Though not fully recovered, Thor had been cleared for discharge that afternoon - his condition no longer required care from the infirmary, so there was no reason for him to remain. 

While Thor changed out of his pajamas and into comfortable clothes, Loki busied himself collecting the various gifts and belongings that had accumulated throughout his brothers’ stay. 

“It was quite kind of Lady Theo to visit so often.” 

Loki glanced over at his brother. Thor sat on the edge of the bed, watching his brother with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“Yet, I suspect her visits were not solely to check on my progress.” The comment was lighthearted, jesting in its delivery. 

“There is a Midgardian saying about assumptions, brother.” Loki flatly replied, turning back to continue packing so Thor would not see the heat rising on Loki’s cheeks. “I would not dare to presume her intentions.”

“I am not assuming anything, dear brother. Simply pondering…” Loki did not need to look to know Thor wore a smug grin. 

“Pondering, are you?” Loki turned back to his brother with a smirk of his own. “Are you certain you are well? You aren’t one to spend much time thinking.”

Thor laughed, tossing a pillow at Loki. Loki smacked it down to the floor, his own laughter echoing in the room. The sound of Thor’s laughter loosened the knot that had tangled itself around Loki’s chest for far too long.

“Well I’ve not had much else to do as of late,” Thor chuckled, “as I’m sure you are aware.” 

“Well, thank the Norns you will no longer be cooped up in this room—” Loki’s laughter quieted, though a smile remained. “— If for no other reason than you shan’t be forced to think; that is a benefit to us all.”

“Ah, you’ve wounded me!” Thor clasped one hand to his heart, feigning hurt despite the grin that lit up his face. 

Loki’s teasing seemed to be enough to deter further conversation on the matter, at least for the moment. With perfect timing, a nurse came by with the paperwork Thor needed to sign, and after a few signatures the pair were finally free to leave.

Just when the elevator closed, Thor turned to his brother with a pensive smile. “Jesting aside, I am glad you have someone like Lady Theo in your life.”

“Thor–”

“It is obvious that she truly cares for you.” Thor rested his hand on Loki’s shoulder and locked eyes with his brother. “Knowing there is another who will be there for you whenever you need gives me great peace. She is a good friend to you.”

A faint smile crept up on Loki’s face, and he nodded slightly. “She is.”   

Not long after ensuring Thor was settled in his quarters, Loki returned to his own quarters,  content to spend some time basking in the peace and quiet with his latest selection of literature... 

…At least, he had been content to bask in the peace and quiet until a knock on his door threatened the solitude he’d long been craving. 

Internally groaning, Loki set aside his book and pulled himself to his feet. Despite the overwhelming desire to ignore whoever dared to disturb him, Loki dragged himself to the door, rolling his eyes before twisting the knob and pushing it open.

The sight of Theo, a slim glass bottle with amber liquid in one hand and two lowball glasses in the other, wiped the scowl right off Loki’s face.

“Is this a bad time?” Theo asked, the smile on her face dissolving when she caught Loki’s expression. 

“There is never a bad time for you, darling.” Loki stepped aside and gestured for her to enter. 

“Good, because I am not about to drink this whole bottle myself.” Theo sauntered in, plopped down on the sofa, and poured two glasses of what smelled like whiskey. “Figured you’d want to celebrate having Thor home.”

Warmth bloomed in Loki’s chest. He took a seat next to Theo, retrieving one of the glasses and clinking it with hers. “I most certainly am not sad about the development.” 

“I can tell.” Theo leaned back, taking a sip of her beverage. “You look way less stressed.”

“Is that so?”

“Well yeah,” she said, “but it’s understandable that you were stressed. I mean, now that he’s doing better, I will admit your brother did get pretty fucked up. But still, I wasn’t worried about him...”

“…You were worried about me?” Loki ventured, unable to stop himself from smirking at Theo.

She blushed. “I mean…“

Loki couldn’t stop himself from chuckling at the sight of Theo, attempting to hide the pink of her cheeks behind her glass. “So you weren’t visiting to check on Thor.” 

“No…” She shook her head and let out a sheepish laugh. “Thor already had plenty of people checking on him, but you needed someone in your corner too.” Theo fiddled with the glass in her hands, her attention focused on the amber liquid swirling around inside. “I didn’t like the thought of you trying to deal with all that on your own.”

When Theo finally looked at Loki, he saw something new in her bright blue eyes. 

“I am grateful for your support.” He slid over until the sides of their legs pressed together, then wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Though I must apologize for forcing you to spend the little free time you had fretting over me.”

“You didn’t force me to do anything.” Theo fiercely shook her head. “I wanted to be there.”

And whether or not he was ready to admit it out loud, he could at least admit to himself that he wanted her there, too.

Hold onto each other Hold onto each other Hold onto each other Hold onto each other…

[iwillbeinmynest]

@cassiopeiassky!! Hey, look it's me talking about WEMtbB and IDWtWtSM

trying to write a comment on an awesome fic is really hard

[use-your-telescope]

Wow, WOW. It has been... a *hot minute* (cough-sixmonths-cough) since I've shared any real teasers/snippets of my big writing project, WHICH NOW HAS A NAME - that's right, it's no longer going by the working title of "the Trickster!" The fic is officially titled "When Everything's Made to be Broken." Linked the synopsis page, which should link out to the snippets that I've previously posted, in case anyone is like "what was this fic again?" So here we go! I'm getting to a point where even though the story as a whole isn't finished, I might start posting the first few chapters just so I'm no longer sitting on them... The first seven chapters are pretty much done (minus a final read through), and the end is there, it's just the middle of the story that's vexing me. Anyways, this takes place after the other snippets I've posted. Enjoy!

Tag List: @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @thedistractedagglomeration @lokisgoodgirl @simplyholl @mochie85 @coldnique @lokixryss @gigglingtiggerv2 @infinitystoner @loopsisloops @mischief2sarawr @crzyplantladyvibes @buttercupcookies-blog @vickie5446 @the-lady-amphitrite

Send me an ask if you want to be added to the tag list!

Warnings: None. This is on the soft side, all things considered?

Song: Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

Word Count: 1,281 words

You Were in the Darkness Too

Before long, they were outside of Marquette, driving down backroads that made Loki question whether or not his phone’s GPS was accurate. However, when they turned down a long gravel driveway that led to a clearing with a small farm, he received confirmation that he was, in fact, in the correct location when Theo pointed at where to park.

“Welcome to the farm,” Theo gestured to the property around them, her voice and expression lacking any enthusiasm. Approaching a wooden porch, she gestured towards a shed. “In that shed is the portal I usually use to go home; you’re welcome to use it - get home and actually sleep in your own bed.” Rather than move towards the shed, Theo fished a set of keys out of her pocket and started fiddling with the door. 

“Are you not planning to return home for the evening?” Loki furrowed his brow, glancing between the shed and the door that Theo had, by that point, unlocked and swung open.

“I– no.” Theo grabbed her bag from where she had set it on the porch, slinging it over her shoulder. “This is the house I grew up in; I know it’s just as close as New York with the portal and all, but I think I’d feel better if I stayed here, at least for tonight.”

Her rationale was, though not necessarily logical, understandable. The idea of a familiar setting providing comfort made sense. And though he would have loved to reunite with his own bed, the idea of Theo alone still seemed… wrong.

Why that was, Loki was uncertain.

“Perhaps I might stay with you, then?” Loki blurted out the question. “I don’t mean to impose, however if anything were to happen I think it would be in your best interest to not be alone.”

Theo stilled, mouth hanging slightly open as she processed Loki’s request.

“Loki, you’ve already done so much for me.” She shook her head. “I can’t ask you to cancel all of your plans and postpone going home after such a crazy, exhausting week.”

“You are not asking,” Loki countered, “I am offering.” 

She pursed her lips and peered at Loki. The breeze rustled the trees around them, and in the distance the ebb and flow of waves off the lake provided a wash of ambient sound.

“Um, yeah - come on in.” Theo pushed the door open, reaching in to flick on a light before gesturing for Loki to follow. “But if it’s too much at any point, or you need to go do something, promise me you will go.”

“I swear it.” Loki retrieved his own bag and followed her inside. 

The farmhouse was a sharp contrast to the tower - unlike the modern, minimalist architecture of the tower, he found himself charmed by the quaint, mismatched nature of Mémère’s home. In many ways, the home reminded him of the houses he’d see in Maximoff’s old sitcoms: the furniture seemed to be from decades past, though they weren’t quite as coordinated as on television. 

Photos adorned the walls of the hallway - some old enough to lack color, while others looked as though they were taken yesterday. 

“You can take my bed, I’ll just take the couch.” Theo said, leading Loki into what appeared to be a sitting room.

“You need not sacrifice your bed for me—“

“You just changed all your plans so you could fly with me to a place you’d never been and probably never wanted to visit, all because I was upset about someone you’ve never even met having health problems. Not to mention you just dropped a shit ton of money to change both of our flights, and on a rental car…” She shook her head, turning on more lights as she escorted him through the house. There was a certain sense of relief that came with the realization that some of the fire which Loki associated with Theo had returned. “You deserve a real bed to sleep in, if nothing else.”

“You’ve also worked tirelessly over the previous week, and you carry a great emotional weight,“ Loki countered, “Perhaps we can share?”

Trudging up a flight of stairs, Theo waited until they were both upstairs before replying. “It’s only a queen-size bed, not the California Kings that we have in the tower, so it might be a bit cozy… but if you’re okay with it then sure.”

“We’ve spent time in far closer proximity,” Loki pointed out, to which Theo cracked a smile and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, but uh… I’m not really feeling up to that tonight.”

“It was not something I even considered, given everything that has taken place.” 

“I didn’t think you were, but I figured I would clarify.” She pushed open a door, flicking on the light. “Welcome to my bedroom.”

In the late night, Loki was presented his first chance to take in the room that Theo called her own. Soft, pale yellow walls and sheer white curtains felt familiar - it was a lighter, softer version of the quarters Theo kept at the tower. The furniture here was not remotely cohesive - a heavy wooden dresser sat in the corner, assorted knick-knacks atop it. Above the dresser, a Van Gogh poster was tacked to the wall - a still-life of a turquoise vase with sunflowers. 

In the corner, an acoustic guitar sat. Next to the guitar, Theo’s closet door sat open - inside, a colorful mix of plaid filled the cramped space. The bed was as large as one could rationally fit in the tight space; atop it, a patchwork quilt provided an injection of color and warmth to the room. 

Perhaps this room was a time capsule of her youth, or maybe it became a melding of her past and present - he couldn’t be entirely sure. 

Neither of them wasted any time getting ready for bed - then again, after capping off a long week with a particularly exhausting day, it was a small miracle that they hadn’t skipped pajamas and fallen asleep in their dayclothes. Loki was the first to lay down; Theo quickly followed, shutting the lights off before slipping beneath the bedclothes and settling in.

Loki stretched out as best he could on the mattress, though Theo was right when she said it was much smaller than Loki’s bed in New York - unless he slept with his head touching the headboard or curled up on his side, his feet would hang off the end of the mattress. 

Theo rolled onto her side, facing Loki. Moonlight from the window reflected off her silver hair, casting an ethereal glow in the dark of night. When Loki turned to face her, he caught her watching him.

“You ought to rest, darling.” He murmured, arching an eyebrow at her.

“I know,” she whispered, “I’m just thinking…”

“About?”

“Today.”

Loki hummed. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Theo faltered for a moment, then shook her head. 

“Is there something I might do to help you rest?” Loki leaned forward until his forehead rested against Theo’s. 

“Just having you here helps.” Theo shrugged, “but, um…”

“What is it?” Loki frowned, trying to catch Theo’s gaze. 

“Could you, um…” Theo shimmied a bit closer, stopping just before they touched.

Relief flooded through Loki at the request. He lifted an arm and nodded, a shy smile curling up on his face. Theo rolled over and slid back until her back pressed against Loki’s chest; he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

“I’m here, dove.” He whispered, burying his nose into her hair. The faint whiff of shampoo, with notes of rosemary and lavender, tickled his nose. “Whenever you need, however you need.”

He meant every word.

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 17: It's a Curse, It's a Sure Sign

Summary: Theo and Chris accidentally make their red carpet debut at the Met Gala, to a night full of surprises. 

Author's Notes: Hi everyone! 

So first, I just want to say a big thanks for sticking with this and following along. If you happen to be one of the people who follows me on tumblr, you may know that the brain gremlins were hitting real hard this week and messing with me something fierce. I’ve had a temporary reprieve, but they still suck. I’m behind on replying to things, but I appreciate y’all the same.

Anyways, the next chapter won’t go up until two weeks from now, since I’m on call and then it’s midterms… So, keep an eye out on March 10th for the next update.

Contents: Canon-typical combat. Implied conflict between a couple? 

Word Count: 6,779

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist Song: Monster - PVRIS

Where do I begin? I can't explain it Know you wasted (Twenty plus years) Like photos fading in, I see 'em changing All the faces (Waiting up all night) The Met Gala.

The motherfucking Met Gala.

If someone asked Theo a year ago if she could ever imagine herself attending, she would have laughed them out of the building — no, out of the country.

And yet, she stood on the steps to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Alexander McQueen, paparazzi shouting her name from all sides as flash bulbs from cameras percolated her field of vision. Chris stood beside her, one hand on the small of her back as he flashed a blinding grin at the expanse of people before them.

They hadn’t planned to make the Met Gala their red carpet debut. Sure, they knew the other would be in attendance, and their management teams planned certain elements of the evening to ensure they would have time together… Once they got inside. However, one of the staff managing the procession of celebrities assumed that Theo had somehow been separated from Chris in the photo line-up, despite waiting with her fellow Avengers. Though Theo politely assured the staffer that she did not need to skip the line, the staffer only seemed more embarrassed by what they perceived as their mistake as Theo refused the offers to join Chris, until Theo relented out of pity and allowed the staffer to bring her over to where Chris posed for photographs. 

Naturally, paparazzi went wild asking for photos of the couple, and of course the oh-so-charming Chris had to accept. 

“I didn’t think we were taking photos tonight,” Chris leaned in and whispered in Theo’s ear; Theo feigned a smile, pretending to giggle at something he said so no one would catch onto the conversation. 

Chris looked back at the camera, shifting his weight to offer a fresh pose for photos.

Theo turned towards him, rising onto her tip toes so she could whisper her reply into his ear. “I know - the event staffer who brought me here thought it was a mix-up in the arrival order.” Theo lowered herself back to her feet as Chris leaned down, nodding at her to continue as he smiled for the cameras. “Despite my insistence that I didn’t need to take photos with you, she kept getting more and more embarrassed - I felt so bad that I finally said yes, just so she wouldn’t cry.” 

Straightening up, Chris turned and flashed a sweet smile to Theo that could have melted the iciest of hearts. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised - you’re always looking out for other people.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her temple to cheers from the crowd.

Before the conversation could continue, another staff member ushered Chris inside, while a third staff member instructed Theo to pose for solo photos. Without anyone else to make the experience less awkward, she tried to remember the tricks that the Avengers’ marketing team taught her about taking flattering photos. 

Either the time passed faster than Theo expected or the staff member in charge of moving the line took pity on her, because the next thing Theo knew she heard her teammates hollering at her, and turned to find them sauntering towards her. 

“Hey!” Theo cheered, arms wide in an enthusiastic greeting as her peers gathered around, everyone spacing themselves out and adjusting their clothes in preparation for group photos. 

“Thanks for ditching us back there,” Yelena teased with a wink, nudging Theo as she passed by. 

As Yelena spoke, Loki positioned himself to stand behind Theo. Dressed in a custom brocade suit so precisely tailored that it could have been painted onto him, there was no question that Loki would appear on the many “best dressed” lists that would be published in the coming days. He offered Theo a silent greeting in the form of a cheshire smirk and subtle nod, but that wasn’t what caught Theo’s attention.

“Your bowtie is crooked,” Theo pursed her lips, twisting away from the camera to fiddle with the piece of fabric around Loki’s neck. “How did you get this far into the photocall without noticing?"

“Darling, it’s fine,” Loki playfully swatted her hands away, all the while chuckling softly. “You need not fuss over me like a mother hen.”

Bucky snorted, watching the exchange from close by as he settled into position. 

“Watch out Buck, I’ll come fuss over you too.” Theo warned, earning a laugh out of Shuri, whose custom Wakandan attire brought a fresh interpretation to the Gala’s theme and somehow managed to be fun, trendy, and regal at the same time. 

Odds were high that Queen Ramonda had something to do with the regal part.  

Gathering the Avengers for a group photo was best compared to herding cats - getting over a dozen people to look at the same place and smile for the cameras at the same time without becoming distracted turned out to be much harder than Theo expected. After the first five minutes, the poor event staffers tasked with wrangling the Avengers gave up, allowing the Avengers to relax and chat with each other and take photos in smaller groups instead. 

There were natural groupings that photographers clamored for. The military boys - Steve, Bucky, Rhodes, and Sam - stood with heads held high and chests puffed ever-so-slightly, with hands resting at their sides as if they were about to be called to attention. If the quartet had chosen to wear their formal military attire instead of tuxedos, the United States government would have probably used the picture for military recruitment. 

Bruce, Tony, Peter, and Shuri - who for some reason had become known as ‘the science bros’ - also posed together for photographs. Unlike the soldiers, who posed with such uniformity that it was almost eerie, the varied level of comfort in front of the cameras and diverse personalities in this group created an almost humorous level of contrast. Tony and Shuri, whether because of their upbringings or infallible charisma, worked the photographers with charming jokes and quick banter, while Peter and Bruce seemed perfectly happy to laugh along and let their friends compete for the spotlight.

Other pairings were all but required: the Widows, the Asgardians, and the Wakandans took their turns in front of the cameras. Theo took photos alongside Dr. Strange, because the general public apparently loved the idea of two doctors who could both use magic, though in reality Theo had only ever talked to the man a few times. 

In between, photographers snapped pictures of the many assorted conversations, as well as snapping posed pictures of the people in said conversations. A second attempt to fix Loki’s bow tie was caught on camera, which subsequently led to a posed photo of Loki and Theo, as well as a photo of Loki and Theo with Wanda and Vision.

After holding a photogenic expression for enough time that her face hurt, Theo nearly jumped for joy when the event staff glanced at a clock, then moved as if to dismiss the Avengers; however, before they could make an announcement, a photographer shouted from the endless sea of faces: “Magic users – we need a group photo!” 

Entirely aware that even a moment of displeasure would infinitely be recorded on camera and plastered across the internet, Theo channeled her inner Chris by maintaining a forced enthusiasm, gesturing for the other three magic wielders to gather around. Sandwiched between Loki and Wanda, Theo wrapped her arms around her friends and flashed yet another smile for the infinite barrage of flashes.

Blinded by the lights, the announcement from the event staff that there was no more time for photos may as well have been a voice speaking from the heavens… A very tired, mildly exasperated voice, granted, but still, the news came as a relief.

“Finally – I’m starving!” Sam complained with a dramatic toss of his head backward, making it sound like he’d never eaten in his life. Realistically, they were 30 yards from the entrance - all they had to do was make it inside and there would be plenty of appetizers and drinks for them to nosh on as they toured the exhibition for which the Gala was meant to celebrate. 

This year, the Costume Institute’s exhibition had been titled: “The Anatomy of Fashion: Representations of the Human Body in Couture,” and the gala’s theme - “Body as Muse” - left a variety of options for how attendees could interpret the prompt. Theo, for example, wore a piece from Alexander McQueen’s  Anatomy ii collection - a one-sleeved gown made of sheer white tulle, the bodice and singular sleeve covered with intricate silver beading that depicted medical textbook-style illustrations of the female anatomy, while the skirt featured layers of gathered tulle that gave the overall piece a breezy, almost ethereal feel with every movement. 

Others took a more subtle approach: at first glance, the brocade of Loki’s suit appeared to be nothing more than a random print; however, upon closer inspection, the pattern depicted lotus imagery inspired by Georgia O’Keeffe paintings - long thought to be representations of the female anatomy, despite O’Keeffe’s denials of the connection. Regardless, flowers had a long history of affiliation with the female form; in Egyptian and Indian mythology, the lotus had very direct associations with female anatomy, so the suit still fit the theme.

Seeing red flags in the morning It's a warning, a warning (it's a sure sign) Where do I begin, I can't explain it Now you're wasted How could you let them do this to you?

From when they entered, it could have been some sort of fever dream: cocktails and passed appetizers as they toured the museum, passing through exhibitions with pauses for special entertainment in certain wings. Lush floral arrangements decorated the corridors and stairways, accented by soft uplighting that shifted tones based on the art in each respective gallery. Time passed in a blur of small talk and compliments interspersed with taking in the art around them. 

The only thing detracting from the fever dream was Chris.

He meant well. Of that, Theo was certain. 

But whenever Theo wanted to pause and really take in each piece of art, Chris wanted to find familiar faces and catch up; however, he insisted Theo accompany him. He never raised his voice or became aggressive, but the pleading tone and puppy dog eyes became more and more common as they continued through the museum.

The pleading became so incessant that Theo almost wished that their respective staff teams hadn’t planned for the pair to traverse the galleries together, relying on the dinner together to give the pair quality time together. 

Still, Theo did her best to grin and bear it, biting her tongue and smiling along when Chris ignored the multitude of masterpieces around them in favor of the hottest tiktok influencer. 

Once in a while, Theo looked around the room and caught Loki looking over at her. She almost wished he would swoop in and rescue her the way he had the first night, even if the thought made her a bad feminist. 

Luckily, it wasn’t long before everyone was ushered in for dinner, and she wasn’t alone - Loki and Wanda were both seated at the same table, while many of the Avengers weren’t far off. 

Theo told herself that she’d visit the museum  to actually view the art some other day - until then, it was time to play the role of socialite, which meant getting through this dinner.

Going on a whim trying to erase it Leaving traces (Sweat, blood, and tears dry) Your head on the pavement, know you're jaded Sick of playing (Waiting up all night)

Amidst the din of conversation and clinking silverware, the power cut out.

Breathy gasps and murmured comments rippled through the room. No one moved, wondering if the sudden darkness was meant to announce the night’s entertainment.

The only source of light in the room came from the electric candles in the centerpieces of the tables, which did little to offset the vast darkness of the massive room. 

From the corner of her eye, Theo spotted a pair of event staffers frantically running around the outskirts of the room.

“I don’t think this is intentional,” Theo warned, locking eyes with Loki and Wanda. “Something’s wrong.” 

Theo, Loki, and Wanda slowly rose to their, cradling orbs of light in hand as they searched for any clues about what was wrong.

The clang of metal against metal rang out, followed by heavy footsteps pounding against the ground at a furious pace; they stopped with a halt, interrupted by a heavy thud. 

Barely visible in the dark, Theo made out the vague silhouettes of the other Avengers standing at attention. 

Around the room, the guests remained in their seats, whispers of panic growing into a frenetic buzz as they desperately looked around for the source of what caused the disturbance while they struggled to adjust to the lack of light.

Bracing herself for the worst, Theo flicked her wrists, runes briefly flashing on each arm before her gown disappeared in a cosmic swirl, replaced by the armor Shuri crafted for her. 

A dark form slithered past, just skirting Theo’s line of sight, followed by a second.

“Shadow creatures!”

Theo barely managed to force the words out of her mouth before a gust of arctic air rushed past her, accompanied by a dark, sinewy limb that swallowed any trace of magical light. 

Chaos erupted. 

From the darkness, a barrage of shadow creatures descended upon the room. 

Guests knocked over chairs as they rushed for the exits, screaming and colliding with each other as they failed to navigate the gallery in the dark.

The creatures gave chase, tendrils of pitch black lashing out in every direction as if their sole intent was to destroy everything in sight. 

Theo made a beeline towards the exit. No stranger to mass casualty incidents, she knew that any bottlenecks would be a prime opportunity for shadow creatures to attack and maximize casualties. The best way to prevent the damage would be to monitor the exits.

She darted between people, climbing across overturned chairs and jumping from table to table when it was impossible to push through the crowd.

As she ran, Theo conjured up an entire galaxy’s worth of stars that floated overhead. With a sharp wave, they shot ahead to illuminate the path to the exit.

No longer obscured by the dark, a collection of shadow creatures situated in prime striking distance of the exit snarled, preparing to attack. 

“Doors!” She shouted, hoping any one of her teammates would know what she meant.

“On it—“ Tony, already in his Iron Man suit, zipped past overhead, hands outstretched as he fired a pair of blasts at the creatures.

The blasts landed right on target, making contact with the two creatures closest to the door. With a sharp, grating cry, they collapsed into nothing more than a pile of dust.

“We need to secure exits and evacuate civilians—“ Steve commanded, the comm in Theo’s suit making it sound like Steve was beside her. 

“We’re already on it,” Theo confirmed, using both hands to reshape the galaxy so it formed a protective tunnel around the exit. A shadow creature tried to launch itself through one side of the tunnel, only to disintegrate upon contact. 

At another exit, Wanda took a similar approach, leaving the others to guide the guests to the exit and go on the offensive. 

“There are a lot more of these things than usual,” Sam complained, whizzing around the room as he rained fire on the seemingly endless stream of creatures.

“They’re coming from deeper in the museum,” Loki observed, slicing through a beast with an enchanted daggers just before it landed a blow on Shuri. 

Theo glanced back, scanning the room to get a read on the situation. 

“We need to take them out at the source–” Natasha started, only to be interrupted by Bucky. “What the hell are those?” 

“What do you see?” Theo followed up, adrenaline coursing through her veins as she craned her neck in a futile attempt to get a look.

“They’re like shadow people, but their eyes are glowing!”

“How many?” 

“5 or 6–”

“Someone cover this exit,” Theo demanded, “I’m coming!” 

As if anticipating Theo’s response, Strange appeared beside her, silently nodding at her to go. 

Throwing white flags in the morning It's a warning, a warning (It's a sure fire) Going on a whim, try to erase it All the traces How could you let them do this to you?

Theo didn’t have to go far to find the answer to her question. Standing behind the closest horde of Shadow creatures were a group of humanoid creatures, composed of shadow except for the black clocks that hid their faces. True to Bucky’s description, the only visible feature happened to be their eyes, which glowed a sort of octarine color that Theo hadn’t seen since her time on Aneterra.

Ice shot through her veins. 

At the sight of Theo, one waved an arm; with a tendril of smoke, they called back the shadow creatures, leaving nothing but an empty hallway between the Avengers and the shadowed beings. Only the emergency lights provided any reprieve from the near-overwhelming darkness.

“Who are you?” Steve demanded, taking one step towards the beings.

They stepped back, but did not speak.

Steve took a second step forward, observing the figures for any sign that they might attack.

The same figure that dispelled the creatures extended an arm, curling a finger towards the group as a silent challenge. 

“Enough of this–” Tony flew towards the group; like a flock of startled birds, they scattered in different directions, teleporting between shadows to expedite their retreat. “Split up and track them down!” Steve didn’t even finish the command before Theo herself turned to shadow and gave chase.

Up the main staircase, around the corner, sprinting through room after room and occasionally using the shadows as a shortcut, Theo and the shadow being played a game of cat and mouse: the figure remained just far enough that Theo could catch a glimpse and not lose track, but the moment Theo drew near they pulled some sort of maneuver to distance themselves and keep the game going.

Somewhere in the modern art gallery, Theo took a corner too quickly and stumbled, dropping to her hands and knees with a grunt. The brief slip-up was all it took for her to lose sight of the figure.

“Fuck!” Without anyone around, Theo’s curse echoed through the empty gallery. She sat back on her knees, struggling to catch her breath as she wracked her mind for what to do.

After drawing a blank, Theo brought one hand to her ear, pressing on her comm. “Guys, I lost–”

“Ah, the Silver Shadow…” A deep voice interrupted; Theo whipped around, eyes skittering about the gallery as she failed to place the sound. 

“... I’ve heard much about you.”

Monster, in your blood on a cold night Monster, it's a curse, it's a sure sign Monster, in your blood on a cold night Monster, it's a curse, it's a sure sign Monster, in your blood on a cold night Monster, it's a curse, it's a sure sign Monster, in your blood on a cold night Monster, it's a curse... How could you let them do this to you?

Unable to see the owner of the voice, the faintest gust of cold air and a sharp movement from the edge of Theo’s peripheral vision was the only warning Theo received before a blur of darkness careened towards her in some sort of an attack. 

She rolled to the side, barely escaping as what looked like some sort of blade slammed into the ground. Theo teleported backwards, rising to her feet and conjuring her blade. “I’m sorry, who are you?” 

Before Theo stood the figure that she assumed she had lost. With a curl of their fingers, they transformed before Theo’s eyes into a person. The cloak remained, obscuring everything except for the same eyes that glowed with octarine light. In one hand they held a shadow blade not dissimilar to Theo’s. 

The mystery person stepped towards Theo, but did not answer Theo’s question. Instead, The shrill cry of security alarms filled the air, a sharp contrast to the eerily empty room they stood in.

“Who are you?” Theo repeated the question as she stepped back and scanned her surroundings. 

“I’m… a fan, shall we say…” The figure drawled, holding out their hands in a sort of shrug. Beneath the hood, Theo imagined they offered some sort of impish grin.  “... Or not. It doesn’t matter.”

“Ah, weaponizing my pride. Well played,” Theo dryly replied, preparing an orb of magic in her free hand as she circled her opponent. “Do you have a name?”

“Not that you need to know.”  In turn, the figure spun their blade in their hand, and braced for attack.

“Tall, dark, and spooky it is, then.” Theo taunted, pointing the tip of her blade at her opponent. “Okay, let’s get the whole Shakespearean monologue about my inevitable doom over with, shall we?”

Her enemy laughed. “If you’d like to rush your death, be my guest!” 

The figure charged forward, blade held high as they launched an attack. 

Theo leapt back, parrying the blow before landing a hit on the mystery figure’s side. “You must either be very brave or very stupid to face me alone.”

The figure hardly faltered, absorbing the blow as if it were nothing. 

This wasn’t a normal person.

As the figure stumbled, they raised a hand and shot a ray of black electricity forward, hitting Theo. 

She froze, muscles tense as searing bolts of electricity tore through her body; as quickly as it started, it stopped, and Theo crumpled to the floor.

“You’re a spellcaster–” Theo choked out, pain ricocheting through her limbs as she pressed herself to her hands and knees. “... Should have seen that coming.” 

“That’s far from our only similarity,” The figure observed, tilting its head to the side as it waited for Theo’s next move. “For someone who is a sciondéité, you certainly aren’t the challenge I expected.” 

They knew.

It wasn’t the first time someone tried to use her identity against her and get into her head, but it certainly had been long enough that the comment caught her off guard, particularly with the circumstances. However, the other person failed to account for one important detail: Theo loved nothing more than proving people wrong.

Pulling herself back to her feet, Theo took advantage of the pause to conjure a collection of stars above her head. 

Theo charged forward and resumed the duel, firing the first of the stars at the figure as she took a swing.

They avoided Theo’s blade, but cried out as the star slashed their skin, drops of blood glistening against the stone floor. 

With a snarl, they brought their blade around in a dramatic swing, only to be blocked by Theo; they parried Theo’s next hit, then slashed Theo’s other shoulder.

“Rude - this is a new suit!” Theo hissed as white hot pain rushed through her arm. She lunged forward and continued to attack her opponent, landing one hit before spinning behind them and slicing into their other arm. 

The figure staggered back, only pausing for a moment before they charged back into the fight.

This time, Theo blocked both the distraction strike and the actual hit.

Her opponent hadn’t even finished their swing before Theo sent another pair of stars at the figure, both of which sliced the figures’ legs.

With her foe distracted by trying to catch their balance, Theo shot an arm out and snatched their arm. She clenched her jaw as a series of runes slithered off of her hand, weaving together into an intricate pattern of black and white that surrounded her opponent. 

“This has been a delightful little game,” Theo drawled, “but I have better shit to do than stroke your fragile ego.”

Theo tightened her grip. Beneath her touch, the figure’s arm shriveled; if it weren’t for the being’s sleeve, Theo would have felt the flesh turn necrotic beneath her touch, watching in the dim light as it turned black and rotted away, while the wound on Theo’s arm stitched itself back shut. 

The energy stolen from Theo’s opponent would not be enough to heal her by any means, but enough to ensure she could make the most of the situation. The logical part of Theo’s mind insisted that she ought to just kill this person outright, but the comment about Theo’s identity unleashed a special kind of monster within, and she wanted answers. 

“You’re debating whether to kill me--” The figure taunted, wrenching itself free from Theo’s grasp before launching into a series of swings and parries. Each fighter took as many hits as they blocked. “You want to know who I am though, so it’s stopping you.” 

“Aren’t you clever,” Theo wryly observed, flipping back over the last swing as she cast a magical restraint around the person’s feet. As she landed, she dropped into a crouch and swept her leg around, knocking them off balance. 

Before her opponent could hit the ground, they teleported. 

“The shadow creatures were the warm-up act, but you were the real show - at least, that’s what you’d like to think–” Theo whipped around just in time to catch a glimpse of the figure swinging down, striking her collarbone. 

Theo barely hit the ground before a foot came crashing into her side, knocking the air out of her. “I doubt you’ll live long enough to see the grand finale.”

From where she laid on the ground, an unsettling heat radiated through her body. Though unpleasant, Theo recognized the sensation - an enchanted blow, a move Theo used quite often. If she moved before breaking the spell, she’d be in a world of hurt. 

With a flick of her wrist, Theo silently removed the enchantment. The moment the heat dissipated, she staggered to her feet, rolling her shoulders as she faced her opponent. 

“A grand finale?” Theo inquired, tilting her neck side to side as she stretched the muscles. “Do tell…”

The figure simply curled their finger at her, an invitation to attack. 

Barreling forward, Theo landed a slice into their side as they managed to land a punch on her face. 

Both parties stumbled backwards, panting heavily as they glared at each other. A metallic, tangy taste flooded Theo’s mouth. 

“Who are you?” Theo pressed another time, this time far sharper than before.

“Apparently more of a threat than you thought,” they sneered, smirking despite the blood dripping from their body and their haggard posture.

“I’m done playing,” Theo warned. She turned her head to the side and spat out a mouthful of blood, then brought her attention back to the figure and stepped closer. “This can go one of two ways - you tell me who you are and who sent you, and I’ll make your death short and painless. Or, you say nothing, and I will make you endure pain like you’ve never felt, drawn out until your dying breath.”

“I would die a martyr,” they replied, mimicking Theo’s motions; despite their words, the faintest trace of fear lurked in their eyes.

Theo dispelled her blade. With a sharp breath, Theo cupped her hands, the runes on her arms transforming into miniature constellations that she cradled in each hand. “If that’s your decision, I’m going to ensure your life is put to far better use than whatever you think you’re dying for.”

Two clusters of tendrils shot out from Theo’s hands. The first launched wrapped around the figure, overpowering her opponent and pulling them close, while the second dispersed itself into the environment around her, creating a protective barrier. 

“Here’s the thing--” Venom dripped from Theo’s words as the figure struggled to free itself from her grip. “Your buddies have been killing innocent people, and not only did you ruin my date, you’re interrupting my time to heal people that were caught in the crossfire.” 

The enemy fought harder, howling with pain as they were crushed by the tendrils; Theo simply tightened the tendrils around them. A devilish smile curled over Theo’s lips as she felt the life drain from her enemy. 

“I warned you that fighting me was foolish, and you ignored me,” Theo hissed, pulling the figure close enough to spit a second mouthful of blood at them. “However, if you really know me, you know what I’m capable of - and charging in here, pissing me off, and hurting people I care about - that was perhaps one of the most idiotic things you could possibly do. I can, and will, make you suffer. And whoever sent you, I will find them, and I will make them pay.”

The shrieks grew louder as more life drained from the figure. As they writhed in the air, Theo directed the stars she previously conjured to swarm around her enemy, slicing into their limbs just deep enough to be violently uncomfortable without being lethal. 

Frankly, Theo wasn’t interested in damage - they would die soon enough. 

No, she wanted whoever this was to suffer. 

Wrapping the tendril of magic around the figure’s face, Theo muffled their screams. A sick sort of joy filled Theo as she watched her attacker lose the vigor they’d previously fought with, to the point where they could barely move. 

“I thank you for your cooperation.” With one final push, Theo drained the last of the life from the figure. 

Even after the figure’s eyes rolled back and they ceased moving, Theo waited a moment before dropping the spell.

The moment the tendrils recoiled into Theo’s hands, she felt the consequences of her recklessness. Her head throbbed in time with her pulse, while her stomach churned in the sort of way where she knew that if she even looked at food, she would be sick. 

Theo hunched over, bracing her hands on her knees and forcing herself to take in a deep breath. Realistically, her head probably hurt from being punched, but the voice of reason in Theo’s mind pointed out that the area where she had been punched wasn’t what hurt so damn bad. 

With a shaking hand, Theo reached up to activate her comms and check in with the others, only to find it had fallen out at some point. No matter - they’d come looking for her eventually.

While she waited, she figured it was worth learning a bit more about who exactly came after her. 

Theo cautiously approached the body of the mysterious figure.

The crumpled heap of a corpse laid face-down, cloak spread wide as if covering the carnage beneath. In a moment of thoughtlessness, Theo kicked the lump to try to roll it over, only to hiss at the pain from her foot against the surprisingly dense body. 

Regrouping her efforts, Theo carefully pressed the bottom of her foot against what felt like a shoulder, then pushed until it flopped onto its back. The hood of the cloak fell back. Spider-like black veins marred its sickly complexion, to the extent that Theo could have spotted every capillary. She combed over the rest of the corpse, not entirely expecting to find anything; yet, one look at their hands stopped Theo cold in her tracks.

Their hands contained a series of intricate tattoos of runes, rings, and lines. Theo didn’t recognize this pattern specifically, but there was enough overlap with the designs that she did know for her to have a pretty strong idea how they might be connected. 

A chill shot down her spine, invisible vise tightening around her chest as the throbbing in her head intensified..

…”Theo? Theo, are you here?!”

Multiple voices calling for Theo, paired with thundering feet against stone floors, pulled Theo back to the present.

“I’m in here!” Theo called over her shoulder, her voice cracking on the word ‘here. Theo shook her head and blinked a couple times to try and clear her head; she may have been new to the Avengers, but she knew they’d have questions when they finally arrived.

A buzzing sound filled the air; moments later, the lights flickered, staying on. Unfortunately, Theo barely had a moment to take in her attacker beneath the lights before the sound of footsteps and voices suddenly came to a halt. 

“..Holy shit.”

When Theo turned towards the voice, she found Tony, Steve, Natasha, Bucky, and Loki all staring at her, her wide-eyed and slack jawed as they took in the aftermath of the fight.

As Theo stared back, nothing but the sound of alarms and heavy breathing filled the room. Theo’s heart pounded in her ears, but she knew better than to think anyone else could hear that.

“Hey, quick question,” Tony finally broke the silence, attention flitting between Theo and the rest of the gallery. “What the fuck happened here?”

Feeling something warm dripping down her face, Theo reached up and wiped her nose; she  pulled her hand away to find a smudge of something dark came with it. She hadn’t been hit in the nose - another sign she had overexerted herself. 

“Someone tried to kill me, obviously.” Theo dryly answered, rolling her eyes. “Are you all okay?”

Natasha nodded dumbly, eyes wide as she took in sight of Theo.

“Why do you look like shit?” Bucky blurted out, narrowing his eyes at Theo. 

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Theo muttered, pinching her nose in an attempt to stop some of the bleeding. Every word may as well have been a pickaxe against her skull; it took every ounce of Theo’s composure not to let her misery show. When she received nothing more than arched brows, wide eyes, and silence from the rest of the team, Theo spoke up once more. “What, is there something on my face?” 

The question was meant to be sarcastic, knowing full-well that she had a bloody nose and a gash on her collarbone, among other things, but also break the awkward silence. 

“Yeah, blood.” Bucky shot back, mimicking Theo’s sarcasm. “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Theo couldn’t help the smirk that came up from Bucky’s retort, though she winced as her head throbbed. Behind him, she caught sight of a familiar painting that had been slashed in the fighting…

There were many things Theo could tolerate, but destroying art was not one of them. 

“Well I’m going to fix that painting quickly before we go.” Theo briskly stepped past the others, blatantly ignoring the way they all stared at her as though she had a third head. 

Ignoring the stares was easier said than done, given how exposed she felt and the sinking feeling from seeing the hand tattoos, but stubborn pride meant she wasn’t about to let her guard down.

“You’re going to ignore what happened here?” Steve gestured to the room, openly flabbergasted by Theo’s statement.

Theo back, turned, scanning the surroundings. Amidst the knocked over podiums, streaks and splatters of deep red already started to turn brown all around the room; between the darkness and the focus on her opponent, Theo hadn’t even realized the mess she made. If she was entirely honest, she wasn’t even sure how much was hers and how much was the other person’s blood. 

Either way, she wasn’t keen to have the conversation that she suspected Steve wanted to have - this person clearly came after Theo. It’s not her fault things had to get bloody.

Waving one hand, a mist of white settled over the room, cleaning up the mess and sending a particularly vicious throb of pain through Theo’s head.

Theo turned back to Steve, pausing to give him the most sardonic expression she could manage as she replied: “Talking about this is a tomorrow problem. I have bigger priorities.” 

Steve didn’t say anything else, allowing Theo to pass by unchecked. 

Once Theo stood close enough to touch the painting in question, she held up one hand, a thin wisp of white emerging from her palm as she began to reconnect the canvas where it was sliced.

Loki cautiously sidled up to Theo, moving in a way that reminded Theo of how someone might approach an aggressive dog. In contrast, the way he studied Theo instead of the painting felt far too intentional for anyone’s good. 

“You need medical attention.” Loki made the comment with a brusque sort of detachment that Theo almost appreciated, were it not for the fact that he continued to dissect her beneath his gaze.

“I’m fine.” Theo huffed, refusing to look at Loki.

“Should I be concerned that you are more focused on repairing a painting than caring for yourself?” 

“I’ll be fine - nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” Theo retorted, trying to ignore the pain coursing through her head. “The painting, however,  can’t repair itself.” 

From the corner of Theo’s eye, Loki scowled; he shifted his weight between both legs as he ran one hand through his hair. “You couldn’t do both?”

“No.” Theo simply answered, not even looking away from the painting. She wasn’t about to get into the fact she already overexerted herself and was still overexerting herself to fix a painting - that would certainly piss him off.

“Given your response to Rogers, I’m assuming you’d rather not discuss what led to your current state?” 

“Wow, you are just full of astute observations.” Theo shot a withering glare his way before returning her focus to the painting. 

The longer he distracted her, the longer it would take to finish fixing the art, and the longer it would take before she could go home and try to forget about what happened, so she needed Loki to at least shut up for a minute. 

Loki was no fool - though he stayed firmly by her side, he didn’t say another word until Theo finished repairing the painting.

“The painting - it reminds me of the art in your quarters…” Unlike his previous statement, this time Loki took a much softer tone, observational and almost amiable.

Something soft twisted in Theo’s chest.

“It's Van Gogh…” Theo looked up at the painting - Portrait of Joseph Roulin - and smiled.  “Nice to see one in the flesh.” 

“You mentioned him previously–” Loki commented, glancing at Theo with an arched brow. “– A favorite, if I remember correctly.”

Theo couldn’t completely bite back the smile that came from realizing Loki made a point to remember her favorite artist. “Yeah, he’s my favorite.”

“What draws you to his work?” 

“He’s one of the defining artists of post-impressionism. He reimagined the way we see and use color; how we look at light and dark.” Theo moved closer, examining the spot she repaired. “Using blues and pinks in a beard to convey highlights and depth like this? Not a thing before. And yet, it still conveys the image without disrupting the brain’s ability to process what it is.” 

Loki hummed, narrowing his eyes as he inspected the area of the painting Theo had pointed to while mulling over the answer.

“I wish we had more time to actually look at the art tonight...” Theo stepped back from the painting, letting out a sigh as she glanced over her shoulder at the others. “Then again, I wish the night hadn’t been completely derailed by fucking shadow creatures. But that’s just how it goes when you’re an Avenger, I guess.”

“Maybe one of these days we’ll have to return, simply for our own enjoyment.” Loki mused, offering a hesitant smile to the sorceress. 

“Sounds fun.” She nodded, giving him a tired smile in return. As much as she liked the idea of a trip to the museum, she knew she needed to check in on the emergency response and make sure anyone who was injured received proper medical attention. That wasn’t even considering how she should probably find Chris and make sure he was alright. But at the end of the day, all she really wanted to do was go home, shower, take some aleve, sleep, and try to forget what she just saw. 

Or, if nothing else, brace herself for what was to come.

How could you let them turn you into a monster? Your bridge started to burn when you ran all across it I guess you never learn 'til you live and you lost it Live and you lost it How could you let them turn you into a monster? Your bridge started to burn when you ran all across it I guess you never learn 'til you live and you lost it Live and you lost it