henke-penke

[abessive-art]

going through WTNV weather playlists and finally realizing like 80% of my music taste originated from those songs.... truly the podcast ever...

[somerabbitholes]

hi hope you're doing well. i have a little midlife crisis situation going on and idk i wanted to ask for a diff opinion. i completed my ba in literature and have not been able to get into du for my masters (for some reasons this is the only place in india where i applied). i wanna work in publishing and know that a masters is a make or break for the same. my parents keep insisting on me going abroad but idk if i want to do that. im worried that what if going abroad doesnt help out the way that its suppposed to? and i should try to get into a uni here next year or something too right? idk it makes little sense and i sound like an entitled whiny brat i think but i just wanna figure this out without crying about it every 2 secs thank you so much for reading/listening

Hello! You don't sound whiny at all, this is a perfectly reasonable thing to be stressed about. I know I was/am. Going abroad is scary, especially with the kind of investment it takes. Maybe you can apply to places both in India and elsewhere, and go through the process? You'll have options this way, which is always good. And you'll also have bought yourself some time to think about things. Maybe when you're in the process you'll know what you want to do.

It helps me to periodically remind myself that the job or the degree isn't the end goal, it's just the means for me to do what I really want to. As someone who's been in the crisis for quite a while now, I do think it gets easier. Things do clear up as time passes. And sometimes things surprise you: new opportunities come up in the time you have. It'll work out, you'll know what to do, trust me :)

[qwuilty]

Hiii, if i get this right, this should be posted right at 12 AM here meaning it’s officially my birthdayyy (feburary 1st) and for my birthday im posting more postal 1 dude headcanons and no one can stop me on my Special Dayyyyyy >:)

His mental collapse in Postal 1 is mostly due to a progression of several events in his life, but mainly due to a sort of midlife crisis escalating his worsening mental health. 

I kind of take the advertisement quotes as a kind of semi-canon, which includes the “His classmates voted him most likely to succeed” one as well. I generally kind of think of him as being not a very popular kid (mostly due to his ‘strange’ behaviors and lack of social prowess) nor a very athletic one, but he was a Smart kid.

Being Smart meant he got told he was doing a good job, that people were proud of him, so he had to keep being smart, even if it killed him. And it worked through elementary to middle school to high school, however he completely crashed and burned once he couldn’t stretch himself any further.

The lack of a more rigid class schedule, the stress of expectations, his candle of mental energy being essentially a charred pile of wax embedded to the table, his worsening mental health and lack of medication, it all lead to him having a pretty bad breakdown and dropping out shortly after with everyone else kind of keeping their distance from him due to his “sudden” freakout. 

From there he stagnated heavily, having to watch everyone else he knew make it and do what, to him, was supposed to be easy. Everyone expected such good things from him, and in his mind, he failed to go over the last hurdle at the finish line watching everyone else run right past him and over his exhausted body. Now he was stuck back at home in a dead-end job after already taking so long to get out the nest already. 

The feeling of being watched started as the feeling of persecution from his peers due to his perceived failure, then paranoia that they were going to harass him, then delusions of a sudden intense increase in violence that spread as he left for college mixing with paranoia about world events and government surveillance, which well... You know how that ends.

I personally don’t know what I headcanon his major as, usually i default to an english major however i have seen other headcanons i like, so admittedly it's kind of in the air for me. However, even if it's not his major, I think he’d enjoy english and writing often. He's got a good flair for melodrama.

Because he’s paranoid of any potential issue happening, he’s self taught in first aid care either for himself or others as well as several other essential skills like hand-sewing. Both to keep himself busy in that downtime after his plans fell out and because of the fear of the worst case scenario that eventually became reality.

This one is more just a fun one, but I like to imagine he was a dinosaur and dragon kid growing up, he just kind of has that energy to me. Another fun little note is that actually, Postal 1 was released on November 14th, which is exactly nine months before Valentine's Day! I just think that's neat. :) (It’s also National American Teddy Bear Day!!)

Prone to compulsion and repetition, it provides the feeling of something familiar to him with the uncompromising spontaneousness of life. Some are simple, quick ones and some are more complex, some even potentially harmful but he greatly fears the consequences of not following through. Probably superstitious as well, things like knocking on wood or avoiding walking under ladders still get him even as an adult. 

He’s not as judgemental of other people dealing with similar delusions and issues as he is to himself. He does panic a bit when confronted with a breakdown as he usually has no idea how to help in the moment, but he tries to be helpful how he can, even if that’s not very much. At the very least he tends to be more sympathetic towards people he notices struggling like he does.

Simultaneously fascinated by and terrified by horror movies, he finds the theming and cinematography of them very enjoyable but he’s also very prone to insomnia afterwards. Y'know the whole “watched a horror movie before bed and now i’m afraid the horror monster is in my hallway” deal, it’s a nasty cycle. </3

His love language is acts of service, he likes to feel useful to others and doing tangible things for them partially so he can feel worthy of love at all. In terms of receiving he prefers quality time, but for those who aren’t used to him it’s hard to tell what he even qualifies as “quality time”. Since he grew up mostly by himself either hiding in his room or with his parents out, he’s been alone for a good while and mostly just wants someone to physically be there even if you don’t do anything. 

He’s picked up woodcarving as a small hobby, he’s gotten better at it over the years but perfectionism leads to little abandoned projects left behind before they’re ever finished. He’s fairly creative and has a sense of wonder under all that grunge, just not the energy or confidence to really pursue anything with that.

He needs some kind of music or sound while he sleeps, mostly through an old CD player resting on his nightstand. He’s got a small folder of easier listening cds he’s gotten from thrift stores as well as the ones he already has, the kind you find that are heavily discounted in the back. They’re in fairly bad condition and it’s definitely not helped by him constantly having to replay them, but it’s better than laying in complete silence.

He’s gone through a few jobs, especially after his college time trying to keep afloat. Most jobs he left were ones he had to quit due to the stress or he ended up being let go due to complaints of his uncomfortable behavior. Mainly unintentionally disturbing staff members and being fired for unaffiliated reasons on paper so they can just let him go and not have to tell him why to his face. It’s not even that he does a bad job or that he’s rude, it’s mainly his height and mixture of quietness, muttering, and lurking around the area that gets him written up.

He greatly prefers winter to any other season, partially because it allows him to layer up more without overheating to feel a bit safer and partially because he isn’t as sweaty when it's colder. But during summer he usually cycles through a couple old band shirts that still mask his form well enough, the boots are all season though. He’s also generally grumpier during summer, even having grown up in Arizona the heat bothers him as well as how bright it gets outside.

What doesn’t help him with that is how easily he burns up in the summer, partially because he still dresses pretty heavy even with his “warm weather” clothes, but also because of how pale he is. It’s like he freckles a little and then it’s all pain from there. </3 

He doesn’t have a proper driving license and never learned how to, which adds onto his feeling of being far behind where he ‘should’ be. He did use to have a bike he rode to and from work but it got crushed under one of his neighbor’s cars and was completely irreparable, meaning he had to walk to and from work leading to him eventually stopping showing up at all.

Prone to zoning out, either lost in thought or just kind of a gap where he really isn’t there. He enters a state of auto-pilot, his mind either unraveling a thread that got too messy or trying to boot back up, it can lead to him accidentally hurting himself by either tripping over something or if he’s doing something like needlework, partially why he doesn’t cut his own vegetables very much.

In addition to that, he’s got a lot of small nicks and cuts on his hands, it’s not that he’s klutzy, just sometimes unaware of his surroundings. The only time he’s been fully, 100% there and in the moment instead of fretting over the past or future was during the events of Postal 1, and even then it was more because he was in a state of a very high adrenaline rush trying to stay alive. He most likely had to be hospitalized by the end of it, considering how far he’s walked as well as the inevitable blood loss and bullet wounds even if he’s using first aid kits. 

When he’s unemployed his sleep schedule is a rotating nightmare, he starts with waking up incredibly early and progressively sleeps at later and later times until he ends up getting up by nighttime and falling asleep in the morning. When he isn’t, his sleep schedule is a bit better, but due to bouts of insomnia he sometimes has to run on basically nothing for the entire shift. At this point he could probably sleep standing up, or at least start to before waking up in a jolt of panic.

I feel like as a kid he was pretty gullible, though that was half because his parents didn’t teach him better and half because the world seemed so strange already, it was hard for him to tell lies from reality. As an adult he’s gotten better about being skeptical, fool him once shame on him, but you won’t fool him twice. At least if he can help it you won't. In exchange however, this has made him very skeptical of genuine things as well, even positives.

Even before The Incident he had an interest in guns, as I said in my previous headcanons post I imagine he was taught how to use them by his dad, but he’s mostly fascinated by how they work. Maybe a little too curious for his own good towards them. He could find himself staring endlessly at something like a handgun trying to figure out how it worked and looking into its different mechanisms and little design quirks. 

If he wasn’t afraid of accidentally blowing his arm off and of the government tracking his package orders to get parts, he probably could have made his own firearms. It doesn’t help either he finds this an incredibly hard hobby to just discuss casually to others especially considering his already ‘off’ look to others, so he often just keeps his mouth shut about it and enjoys it in the privacy of his own home.

He’s had a couple relationships, some mutually, some more one sided through his own ideas of the person and how their relationship would be. With new partners he tries to give an impression of being ‘normal’ VERY hard, almost walking on eggshells because he’s worried about them seeing his true colors. In a way, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as he starts to burn out on having to mask his actual personality, leading to a very sudden cold shoulder and often the relationships were dropped right there as the expectation of how he was suddenly broken and they had to see him at his worst.

For the ones he imagines, it’s always from a distance as he finds it incredibly hard to even initiate contact with someone he’s into, incredibly petrified of coming off as weird. Still, when he crushes on someone, it becomes a small bout of fixation until they either get freaked out by him and distance themselves or the daydream fades away. He had tried lying about being in a relationship with a past crush of his, but she eventually found out and was well, frankly disturbed and disgusted by his actions. 

He’s partially a romantic, at least compared to the other dudes, however it’s mostly in theory and far less in practice. He has a lot of thoughts about romance and doing grand gestures, but as mentioned before actually getting that off the ground is practically impossible if the person doesn't know how he is going in. If they do get past that initial crash, he does try to be traditionally romantic, just not entirely well. He got you flowers. Or well, a single flower. That he hurriedly yanked out of his neighbor’s garden so he wouldn’t notice him so it’s kind of crumpled up. There’s also still a clump of dirt stuck to the stem.

He had tried to go to therapy, mostly at the insistence of family after noticing his isolation and volatile nature, but he finds it very hard to open up to health professionals. There’s a feeling of disconnect with him and them, either with his past therapist or the psychiatrists evaluating him at the end of Postal 1. It’s hard to open up, even harder to do so to someone writing down things about you like you’re a lab rat in a test, or at least that’s how he feels about it. Eventually due to being busy, visit rescheduling was forgotten and he figured it was best to not remind them.

His dreams tend to be very strange and slightly unsettling when he can remember them, semi lucid at times but in places he REALLY does not want to be conscious. He figures it’s best to avoid thinking about them, trying to parse any meaning from them just leaves him panicked about what it could mean for his future or what it means inside his head. Usually sleeps curled up in a sort of fetal position, he snores but in very long gaps, so you may be a little worried seeing him laying there and breathing so softly it looks like he isn’t alive until he lets out a loud snore.

Not actually much of a drinker, he already deals with fairly frequent headaches and the thought of getting black out drunk and doing god knows what worries him. He’s mainly only a social drinker to try and get that ‘liquid confidence’ but since he’s not really getting invited out to drink or inviting anyone IN his tolerance is pretty low. 

Drink of choice is really just shitty canned beers, it’s what he can afford and while he hates the taste, when he needs to be drunk it gets the job done. I don’t think he’s on the same level of drug cocktail that Postal 2 and onward dudes are on, but he’s probably experimented with some pot before. Hallucinogenics would be a fucking awful idea though, don’t give him those.

His hallucinations tend to get worse and worse the more tired he is, he mostly experiences visual hallucinations as well as audio-based ones, but also some physical ones too. It’s kind of a sign that he needs to book it to bed once he starts noticing them ramping up worse and worse. Sometimes he does not get the luxury of being able to go right to sleep though, those are his least favorite times to be awake.

He can be pretty protective, both of his things and people in his life. In terms of his belongings, he’s worried about them getting broken leading to him kind of hovering over people who borrow things from him and making sure they aren’t too rough with them even to the point of coming off to others as obnoxious about it. It’s not that he means to come off as rude, he’s just very worried since he has to kind of hold onto them a while and gets attached.

In terms of people however, it’s a mixture of his brewing savior complex and desire to keep those who can stand him from getting hurt on his watch. Mostly in terms of making sure something won’t fall on them with his height advantage, stepping in to do more dangerous things, it can come off a little patronizing but he means well. If you come at him gently about it and explain he’ll back off, but there’s still that air of anxiousness to him, that fear of something terrible happening extending outwards to others as well.

Very much prone to a black and white view of the world. Good and bad, right and wrong, he was taught over and over what they were, so breaking from that is hard for him. And he wants to do good, he wants to do so much good and make others happy, but the world is a messy shade of gray that he just. Can’t comprehend sometimes. Good people are supposed to protect others, not harm them, he knows that. But sometimes you have to hurt a few to protect the many, at least that’s his justification for it all.

And to end this on a kinder note i wanted to share things that reminded me of him but i don't want to potentially spam to random tags cause tumblr search is weird, so small collage of stuff that makes me think of him

[simplysurviving89]

first post explanation.

hey, so if you made it here .. congrats? turn around while you can? i guess i should explain a little more on why i created this account. So in the summer of 2022 two family members came to me and said they think somethings going on with my daughter and i should take her to the GP for an ASD referal, i got them to make lists of what theyd seen in her and i observed her and did the same, we took this to the GP who agreed, then contacted us a week later to say the referal was declined as it has to be school that do it. So off i went to make an appointment with school to talk it through, they had no SENCO teacher at this point and all i got from the headteacher was 'we havnt seen this in school, we havnt seen that in school, we wont see these traits because of this reason ...' .. basically felt like i was being fobbed off. He told me i could do a self referral to CAHMS as all the issues seemed to be at home. I tried this and they rejected me, stating the referral had to be through school. I messaged the headteacher this information and he didnt seem bothered. So i decied to wait until they did appoint a new SENCO, which was after christmas. At the next parents evening i raised my concerns with her school teacher (who was fab!), he straight away got me a meeting with the new SENCO, i talked over my concerns with her who listened to everything i had to say, agreed with parts and said a referral for an ASD assessment seems like the best route to take, from there they had to complete 2 terms worth of in school assessments, her teacher started noticing some of her anxieties, social queues, food issues etc, so now i have to wait until closer to christmas until their assessments are done, update my own referral pack and hand it in to them and then all this can be sent off to CAHMS. Then its onto the waiting list. While all this is going on i had my sister tell me she thinks i might be autistic too, and one of my close friends (whos husband is autistic) tells me she also sees traits in me. Well all this led my overactive brain into melting down over the last 6 months, i now feel like im going through a midlife crisis of who am i? do i even understand myself? has half my life been a lie? have i been masking all this time? how do i unravel all this and find the real me, how do i get back to a place where i feel content with myself. so here i am. if you made it this far you deserve a medal! all future posts will be updates on my thoughts, feelings, info dumping, a safe place to be myself and put the worries somewhere other than in my head.

[lukewarmkraftsingle]

hello, tumblr user adekuscrub.  i am the anon who sent you the ask about reigen's divorce.

i would firstly like to apologize for the demeanor of my previous ask: from what xkit tells me, it was 27 minutes after the ball dropped for new years and i was facing my most cathartic experience yet.  following a dream where i was in love with reigen (note: i am aroace), i fell madly obsessed with mp100 and was desperately searching the tags, posting like a kpop girl and her bias. in that sudden delirium (where i was also screaming silently in a discord voice call), i had stumbled upon a fateful video.

if it was any other night, im certain i would give a good chuckle, queue, and move on. but it was not that night. i was absolutely taken. even now, as i think of what to say next, i am replaying the video in another tab because it tickles me so. im going to leave it on loop now. anyways, as you might have guessed: your video had sent me into a frenzied state of dire need.

surprisingly, i didnt have any of the questions you delved into. i believe the mere idea of reigen, a 29-year-old man, being wrecked by divorce and now raising a 14-year-old teenager, was enough to launch my brain into the stratosphere. as i recall, the feeling was akin to being High As Hell and discovering birds can fit in your mouth. (small birds, anyway. im not sure someone can fit an eagle). all i needed was context, information, anything that could add into the brand new fantasy my mind had begun to leech on.

and, as i had asked, you delivered. i greatly enjoyed the screenshots, by the way. and the cat ears gamer headset reigen rendition. i have saved that image to my photos folder for my private enjoyment. i am grateful for the response, as it has brought me several fits of giggles and satisfaction to my mp100-riddled mind. and now, after three unnecessary asks (my apologies. i know its a lot), i will go into my own commentary on the mp100 divorced au.

Of course hes gay. Why wouldn’t he be? as a serirei fan myself, i imagine the ultimate continuation of reigen’s disastrous love life would be finding comfort in his anxiety-riddled employee/business partner (i feel like they addressed his title in the reigen spinoff, but i cannot remember at the moment).  in this same line, yes, it would be difficult imagining reigen married to a woman.  but, as you have already addressed, this is an alternative universe of our own making.  more so, this is a story of discovering oneself through messy trial and error. course, i dont think hes actually been through several divorces, as “trial and error” implies. just the one.

as for with whom: i didnt know what a ‘lavender wedding’ was either, but found it entertaining all the same. i imagine they would have met at reigen’s old job, maybe bonding over similar feelings of loneliness. and maybe the divorce is what lead reigen to quitting said job. something like a not-so-midlife midlife crisis. but, as i mentioned, i enjoy the theme of self discovery. this reasoning is also why i cannot bring myself to entertain the ‘ex-husband from reigen spinoff’ pipeline, because it would the same thing.  sorry, gays.

unfortunately, this has brought me into a rut, because i cannot for the life of me think of an identity for our mysterious ex wife.  i suppose the ex-coworker idea would work. if it means going into my tastes, her lesbianism would get retconned.  though now that i think about it, who said she had to be a lesbian during their marriage? maybe she went into self-discovery, too.  yes, i think i like this idea more.  it would bring up the possibility of an epilogue, a rehashing of old dirt and patching up sore feelings.  maybe a friendship shaped from divorce.  i dont know.

to end this dialogue (as i am suddenly aware that the google doc is nearing 800 words), however or whoever reigen settled this divorce with is up to viewers discretion, of course.  i find more enjoyment in the emotions reigen would experience post-divorce.  how would it feel, knowing your confidant wouldnt, couldnt, accept such an integral piece of you?  how would that loneliness sink into you, as you struggle to find another partner who stand to be near you, much less deal with your lies and fakeouts?  you want to be someone, but nobody wants you to be that person, their person.  its sweetly disgusting how these thoughts swirl in my head.  i guess i just like to push this guy’s buttons.

my apologies. i meant to end it there, but i went on another tangent instead. either way, i hope my thoughts brings you something to consider.  you probably werent expecting a letter.  and im sure some of these thoughts were a bit irrelevant… nonetheless! i open my sincere feelings to you, spurred by passion, delirium, and some sort of disease in my little head. thank you so much for reading, if you ever got to this point.  feel free to respond at your leisure.

p.s. you might be wondering why im speaking like this. you see, your reply was a surprise to me: it held the cadence of some sort of indie author receiving their first fan letter, passionate and inquisitive. have you ever watched a film or video with an accent or way or speaking, and, whether by accident or on purpose, you adopt said accent? you could say this was what happened. because no i dont normally write like this. Also i love that ACNL track; it brings fond memories.

[the previous ask. for posterity. what can i say. i like to be thorough]

thanks for the follow-up! the situation unfolds. this was received in a similar manner to the previous one, first thing in the morning, but much earlier, i must admit. as the invigoration of the holidays fades from view, unfortunately, i am being reminded that i have items that i am responsible for, and life is slowly fitting itself back into the typical slog. lovely way to begin such a day, however! that little blue dot on my inbox was as a freshly received, carefully sealed letter which i could not wait to simply tear into. an excellent letter indeed, the sort that i want to read many times over and fully soak in. unfortunately, i am quite bad with envelopes. i can never get a clean peel, or tear across the top, without the entire thing going into little pieces. it's a bit of a weak point for me, but i am too stubborn to use a letter opener. i suppose it doesn't matter. the envelope is not as important as the contents, and you have certainly given me some contents. truly, the envelope icon is a lovely skeuomorph.

enough of that, though. i am absolutely floored. this is all i ever could have hoped for in response. i will attempt to address things in an orderly fashion.

i understand your frenzied circumstances, certainly. it reminds me somewhat of how i felt after i watched mob psycho. well. it reminds me a bit too much of how i watched mob psycho.

this needs to be approached as i approached it. i am not an anime watcher. certainly not. i have dabbled previously, but not with any depth. it's not an uncommon thing on the internet, especially when you have friends who are into anime. the most i had seen was some of my hero academia, some of ouran high school, and the game theory ddlc videos, which may or may not count as anime. i am not a man of anime experience. however, i am a man of mishandling television.

please ignore the current state of my profile. a recent development. it doesn't matter. my profile picture was certainly not reigen at the time.

this is a message sent moments before disaster. and the verdict?

all within 6 days. it's not a terribly long show. could have been worse, yes?

but oh. i have now remembered. i have repeatedly neglected to clear my browser history. for months. many other things stuck in a similar purgatory. it's fine. it provides me with information such as this:

(not to worry. all watched for free, so subbed at the time, with the most powerful ad-blocker known to man, mind you. this is a screenshot of firefox history, okay, and those blocker things run like crazy. my ad-blocker does not mess around.)

started september twenty-third at 9:11 pm, ended on september twenty-fourth at 4:19 pm. all within less than twenty-four hours. i feels as though we are taking part in some sort of mental illness competition. no one is winning. and i say this with affection.

i shortly after dragged gf into this, and we both watched to the end of season 3, through, ah, let's say, alternate means. lovely. and mob psycho is now my go-to thing that i absolutely will not shut up about. my divorce musings should be sufficient proof.

i can't say that it was driven by any sorts of uh. dreams. as yours was that night. but my god. what a way to kick off the new year for you. that is just. i don't even know what to do with that information. i simply need to take it in, over and over. what a couple of paragraphs. what a description. i love it.

i am glad that the cat ear headphones reigen has been well-appreciated. i suppose i only have one other tidbit to add about that image: they are based on a pair i had myself when i was younger. a dearly beloved pair of headphones. i have since misplaced them. they are not fully lost, simply lying in wait, in the depths of some sort of storage area type of situation. the sort of thing you find when you decide to re-organize your room one day.

well. i could elaborate a bit more. there are, in fact, more mspaint drawings.

here is one based on the artful combination of my old discord status and picture, and

here is one that gf used as a profile picture! matching profile pictures! adorable. hers changed shortly after mine did. we were both holding out to see who would change first. an unspoken war. i lost to that one piece of art for the show, made for the urban legends episode, i believe. the one that is in the screenshots from the last post. but how could i not? it is such a beautiful image. to me. i love it dearly. as to avoid repeating myself, i have left some Normal tags on a post containing it, if you are inclined to dig a bit for them.

i am glad that you have garnered such enjoyment from my video, though. personally, when i make something like that, i'll open up my videos folder occasionally and watch it a few times over. that happened more with the video i made for the last response, though. i quite like the feel of that one. i just end up being entirely too pleased with my own silly videos.

a handful of my postings betray a similar appreciation for gay business men. this is the clear follow-up to divorce in my mind. and as i recall from the reigen manga, there was an addressing of Serizawa's title: i believe that it is officially "my man," of course, the highest honor an employee can be given. incredible.

(i know what you are actually referring to, but i do not have the actual part on hand, terribly sorry.)

i do appreciate your placement of self-discovery and trial and error as a vital point for all of this, and as it has brought me to further thoughts. i would like to elaborate on that a bit more in tandem with societal expectations, all while getting vaguely personal, as that is the only way i can think clearly to properly get my ideas across.

like most, i would venture to say, i have lived a very large portion of my life in an environment where heterosexuality was very much the standard situation. a place where any sorts of marriages followed by gayness-induced divorces or lavender weddings would be born. my younger years were filled with a specific idea of what an "attractive person" should be, how "crushes" should happen in pre-teen through teenage years, and other items along those lines. i figure these typical standards are familiar. for myself, they birthed a sort of good ol' 'merican suburbia-induced conundrum. out of an unshakable and then unidentifiable confusion from these standards, i shut myself out of entertaining any sort of thoughts of relationships outside of platonic ones, and, to a degree, i found comfort in aroace labels as i learned those terms, simply because i did not experience attraction in the ways that people around me were peddling. for myself, my distaste for such things was not born of a very healthy place. being the young and generally introverted person i was, i found it much easier to shut out anything romantic, rather than partaking in any sort of aggressive generic heterosexuality, as a certain divorced au man may have. that man interacts with complete strangers so much. it scares my poor, fragile, introverted heart.

do not be mistaken. i deeply respect the Aroace Grind, dearest anonymous tumblr person, my belovèd. i impart my blessings unto you. may your lack of such attractions be born of the beauty of self-acceptance. i wish you the best in whatever Degree of Not Being Romantically Attracted to Reigen Arataka you partake in outside of the world of dreams. keep it real. etcetera.

anyway. i do not remember if there was ever one deciding moment, but i gradually started to realize through some amount of reflection and experience that i did have desires for romance and other sorts of things that follow, but not on the "typical" terms. and it was certainly a long process of self-discovery for me. in fact, it was only a couple of months ago that i thought slightly more than what would be normal about a side character in a television show who did not match the typical image of Hyper Attractive Male Actor, thought about it a bit harder, then realized that i, traditionally not a man, have successfully been duped by male beauty standards for my entire life. this is my official announcement. i do not care for famous men alarmingly toned 6 foot tall jawline whatever. memories of my mother and old school acquaintances talking about actors following that description being attractive rush to my mind. unfortunate circumstances. but i am allowed a bit of heterosexuality. as a treat.

i do not know if you have had similar experiences in coming to understand yourself, dearest anonymous person, but that is the story i have generated to understand myself. i am quite a fan of narratives that allow me to compartmentalize my own mental processes. and thus, it is how i have come to think about divorced au. reigen, raised around similar expectations, figured that as an adult man, he should be in a typical heterosexual marriage. i think this fits in with what little knowledge we have of his family, mostly from the recent fanbook. they all seem to want him to have a "normal" life, and maybe they quit talking altogether after the divorce. although there is some hope, as he does want to rekindle that relationship. the true reasons for the marriage and depth of awareness of other sorts of attractions are up for interpretation, as i am not offering anything terribly concrete, but my thinking about divorced au comes from my own experiences of suppression, trial, and frequent error.

is it okay if i come up for air for a moment? a brief moment of self-awareness? because this was born of a complete one-off stupid video i made in maybe an hour max from idea to completion. and i'm now projecting my own problems and insecurities onto it. what the hell. actually what the hell. what am i even doing man. i have other ideas about mob psycho characters, hell, i have an au idea that i have been obsessing over born of personal experiences first (i might be tempted to go into that at some point too who knows), but the divorced au is the one that gets thousands of words???? the divorced au????? the one that's only out there because i made funy mob drawing???????????? anon person i am grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you back and forth like some kinda cartoon character

anyway. enough of that. enough of the hater part of my brain. i'm having too much fun with this.

bringing up the fanbook has brought another thought to mind: one of the major parts that was hyped up for it was information about reigen's past love life, which, in beautiful reigen fashion, was a showstopping display of dodging the question entirely. if the man is divorced au, it could be a touchy subject, or a situation too complicated to explain. it gives off that very generic perception of heterosexual romance.

i appreciate that you've also fit in some of the themes straight from the show shockingly well. that really stands out in the part where you're talking about how reigen would take it. his struggles with loneliness, with his family's expectations, his other side especially, taking into account his conversation with mob in the finale. feeling unwanted. he may already be a bit more than 16% divorced in vibes. i don't even have anything to add to that, i love how you put it.

straying completely and entirely from the mob psycho discussion, your noting of my tone completely and fully warms my heart, truly. i think it's strange that we tend to do that, pick up on how other people speak. personally, my vocabulary has certainly been completely wrecked by reading a large amount of books when i was younger and a vast quantity of stupid posts on the internet. always glad to be writing things for fun, though. i see it as a sort of puzzle. i enjoy finding the exact words i want to use and meshing them together to flow from one sentence to the next, ensuring that i don't repeat too many as to maintain healthy variety, and frequently re-reading parts to convey my ideas as clearly as i can, even if they still end up mildly incoherent and silly - such a roadblock is inevitable in considering divorced au. i get myself into a certain mood when i want to explain something, and it is electrifying, especially when i do it out loud. i am usually an incredibly timid speaker, reserving myself to only a handful of words at a time and letting other people lead in conversation, but once i feel comfortable and reach a place where i have knowledge and ideas to provide, the cadence of my speaking quickens, i give more thought to the arrangements of my words, my voice reaches the height of its volume and full timbre, and i feel as though i could just talk for hours. it is definitely one of my favorite feelings. i still keep my usual stutterings, but rather than dwelling on them, i find myself gliding over them as i do in performing music; a finger slips, but i continue to the next phrase all the same.

that type of speaking does not translate over exactly to my typing, but when i begin typing anything with great length, i fall into a similar style. for myself, this sort of tone is typically reserved for writing in more professional or academic settings, but occasionally, i offer myself the opportunity to splurge on a silly idea or a niche passion, and it restores my soul, in a way. it places me in that mood where i could go on for hours. of course, if i am writing something in a different setting, it does contain capitalization, but outside of that, i'm really not a capitals kinda guy. i am a huge advocate of attempting to type as speech, generally, especially while texting, and my voice simply isn't that poignant, i suppose. the google dictionary claims that my usage of "poignant" is both archaic and metaphorical, but i do not particularly care.

i meant to add the profile picture, but i didn't want to cut into the pace of my writing. here it is. in all its mspaint glory. whatever sort of conversation led up to it was absolutely, definitely, mind-numbingly stupid. it's fine.

and to wrap it up, once again, i feel the need to reiterate, this is the most incredible response i could ever receive from my ramblings. the most incredible.

oh. let me go ahead and stick the second ask into here too, for the sake of brevity:

much appreciated! god has given me very limited knowledge of html, and i will use it to create a barely functioning hodgepodge of a blog. i hope they're okay with that. gf doesn't like it. i think she just fears my power. my favorite detail is resizing the window. almost everything is decently configured for that.

i hope this addresses your concerns, and maybe adds on some new ones, too!

[solarswonderland]

pre-midlife crisis

genre: fluff

pairing: bf!sunghoon x gn!reader

wc: 0.5k

summary: a boring day

warnings: cursing, uno, attempted (cringe) humor

masterlist

“i’m telling you, there is no R, you lose.”

“are you kidding me? i’m sure you could add something!” sunghoon complained.

“i already added a belt, 5 earrings, a fanny pack, and an extra arm. what more do you want from me?” you deadpan at your boyfriend.

he sighed in defeat.

“i don’t like hangman anymore.”

“because you lose?” you asked him, stifling your laughter.

“shut up...” he mumbles, grabbing a slice of pizza.

“ok what about we play a different game, like…” you dug through your closet. “...scrabble?” 

“another word game? it's like you want me to be miserable!” sunghoon whined, stuffing his face into a pillow. 

“ok, ok…what about rock-paper-scissors?” you asked him, grabbing a cheeto from the bowl next to you.

“basic ass bitch.” he mumbled with his head still stuffed in the pillow. 

you threw a cheeto at him, “then you choose the game! don’t attack me cause youre bad at everything.” 

“bad at everything? wanna have a dance battle?” he raised his eyebrows in question, with a smirk on his face.

“i can barely walk straight, i am not dancing.”

“i can teach you.”

“so that i embarrass myself and you laugh at my misery? no, thank you.” you shudder.

“i swear i wont laugh. just let me teach you!” he said, dramatically falling at your feet.

you sighed. “alright then, but one wrong move and you're dead.” 

“no no- put your leg here then- NO not there- put it here then kick forward and dro- NO YOURE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF-”

you plopped on the floor and lay down, breathing rapidly.

“i suck at dancing.”

“you really fucking do..” he deadpans at you, earning a slap on his head.

“youre the one that decided future perfect was a good beginner’s song.” 

“...fair enough”

“so, now what?” you look at him from the floor. 

he dug into his backpack and pulled out a deck of cards. 

“what do you think about uno?” he asked.

“that never ends well...” you said hesitatingly.

“let's find out then…” he replied, shuffling the cards.

sunghoon places a colour change wild card.

“i change the colour to red!” he said.

you smiled.

“thank you, and sorry hoon.”

you placed a red +2 card.

sunghoon looked at you in defeat before placing a +4 card on top.

“hey you cant do that!” you complained.

“my game, my rules.” he said smugly.

“literally no one plays the game like that…”

“but i do!”

“it makes no sense! just pick two goddamn cards.” you said.

he huffed. “fine”

he picked up two cards.

you placed your last second card.

“uno!”

sunghoon looked at you as if you had just kidnapped his dog.

“+4???? ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK OUR RELATIONSHIP???” 

“no, im literally just better at this game than you are.”

“i give up.” he said, sulkingly throwing his cards in the air before lying on the floor, defeated.

just then, niki walked into the room.

“yo whats up with him?” he asked, pointing at sunghoon.

“hes going through a midlife crisis.” sunghoon’s head snapped up.

“its a PRE midlife crisis, thank you very much.”

© solarswonderland 2024

[apathyfairy]

age 0-18 is like i need to be older than i am now. i need to grow up so i can finally live my life. and age 19-21 is like ok i’m finally an adult but i don’t feel like it at all lol so..what am i supposed to do with my life ? and 22 and beyond is just feeling so old like you wasted your entire life and can’t relate to anyone and there’s nothing you can do about it at all

[theoddsideofme]

My mom is going through some kind of midlife crisis thing so all she wants to do is purge shit. So I’ve been going over there and helping her get organized and purging shit but this is her weird rule. Anything that was sentimental or that was my grandfathers who raised me and not her shitty self I can’t have. Even though she wants to send it away to the thrift store she doesn’t want me to have it so as soon as I pick up something of my grandfathers that I remember and I don’t give a shit if it’s a pen she says get Rid of it and then she realizes I will keep it and she freaks out and puts it away. I have no clue why I can’t have anything. But then she announces every moment about something, you can have that when I die. As the years go by I learn a lot about my parents who did not raise me and really I’m glad they didn’t because they are so out there and have not one ounce of empathy and are very cold. Maybe it’s shaped me to who I am today. Who knows. But I have also decided I like my father more though. I only talk to him once a year and he is a big mystery to me but reminds me more of myself than her. He is really funny, very intelligent, good looking, and seems to be an inventor and does well with his businesses but has no need in children like her. Anyways I’ve confiscated 34 lampshades out of her collection today to go to the thrift store and I’m a bit confused who in their right mind changes lampshades every month like she does. What a nightmare. Im trying to be nice and maybe form some kind of bond with her but I’m not feeling it.

[xsarcasticwriterx]

I hate you

Summary: In a world where your enemies name appears on one wrist and your soulmates appears on the other but what happens when it's the same name on both

Pairing: loki x reader

Warnings: fluff but some major angst at end, swearing,

Notes: Finally not bucky pfft anyways i got this idea from a post I saw on instagram hope ya like it :) oh and this takes place during ragnarok and infinity war also yes i know the lines aren't the exact same but i tried to keep it similar.

You hated loki no hate wasn't strong enough you despised the god. With his tricks and mischief. with his knifes and need to simply be an absolute dickbag. all of this is what made the position you were put in even more confusing and messy.

You stared down at your wrist looking at the names well name. singular. The names were supposed to be one of your enemy and one of your soulmate which of course frustrated people to the end of which name suppose to take what role. Yours might seem simpler but it made it more complicated.

there was one name. loki. It sat on both your wrist being there since the day you were born. at first it confused you and your parents why the name was the same. Then the confusion grew when a few days later a prince was born named loki odinson. 

So your enemy was loki but was also your soulmate. The more you were around loki the more you understood the enemy part of it. He'd pull mean pranks and constantly pester you. you assumed the names on his wrist were in the same case as yours making his constant bother make sense.

Of course now wasn't the time to rehash all of that. you currently were going through something that felt similar to an acid trip. They spoke something of the grandmaster and how this planet was created or whatever. you simply felt sick and like someone stuck your brain in a blender. 

you open your eyes not even realizing you had closed them at some point. looking around you are sat next to thor and in front of you is a strange man with eyeliner who looks like a dude going through a midlife crisis. 

behind you are rainbow guards. confused you turn to lowkey who looks just as confused as you. “well aren't these two just marvelous. he and a she right?” he ask looking up at a girl. she nods “yes he and she” she smiles at you two. “see this is why your amazing. what do i always say when she shows up it starts with b” he says looking to another girl. “trash” she says glaring at the other girl. “wha- no were you just looking to call her trash that doesn't even start with b” he said confused and shaken. “booze hag”

you cant help but snicker at this. “I- what no i'm sorry i always say your the best god. she brought me my champion y'know” he says with a smile. “so you say every time shes here.”  she replied jealousy thick. “how much for them” grandmaster ask. this shakes you up and throws even thor off guard. “hi yes excuse me were not for y'know sale”  you say like its an outlandish thing. “10,000″ the girl says. “I am not for sale” thor says ripping his arms out of the chair. “ooo a fighter I like it” he says then the girl presses a button and thor is shaking like he was tased. 

“Y'know actually i think i'm ok being sold off can I just nooot have that happen to me?” you ask with a wide grin. “I like her shes funny” get her out of the chair” the grandmaster says. “give her the credits hurry” with a grumble the girl gets paid. “you will pay for this.” thor says to the scavenger. “no I got paid for this.” she says smugly walking off. your chains are released and you stand up rubbing your wrist. “do you got any lotion or anything cause that shit made my wrist all dry” you say nodding towards the chair. 

“Get the girl some lotion go go” he says to the other. “come follow me” he says after you get handed some lotion. you walk into a room full of people thor following behind on his chair. The room seems like a party people are chatting music is blasting. “I am the god of thunder!” thor says. tiny thunder comes out his fingers making you chuckle. His hammer being broken but be affecting him more than expected. “well there's no thunder but you did create little sparkles there.” he says walking to a dj panel.

“hey y/n get me out of here” thor whispers to you. “Man i don't even know how i got out ok guess you gotta just be awesome like me” you look around and spot someone who for once actually made you smile “or like loki apparently.” you point out to thor. “loki!” he yells. you hit thor's arm “shut up” you say. loki looks at you two confused.

“loki!!” thor says happily. you simply facepalm you didn't want to talk to loki nor did you want grandmaster from finding out you know him especially if he's caused as much chaos here as he has on asgard. loki looks concerned and does a fake smile and goodbye before walking towards yall “shhh sh” he says. “what are you doing here” he ask “Me and y/n were put in a chair she was released wheres your chair?” thor ask. “i didn't get a chair” loki whispers back. “well get me out of this one” thor ask “i cant.” “get me out” “I cant” they debacle before you interrupt “how did you get here?” you ask. “I was here a few weeks ago I gained his trust i know hes strange but im in the good with him” loki says.

“what are we whispering about” Grandmaster sneaks up on yall. “jesus fuck what are you a mouse?!” you ask feeling your heart pounding like drums. “you know this lord of thunder?” grandmaster ask loki. “god of thunder heh tell him” thor says nodding. “i've never met this man in my life” loki says with a nervous smile. “their brothers” you chime in “adopted” loki clarifies. you smile at the grandmaster. “well if you want to get back to assguard or-” grandmaster starts “asgard” thor clarifies. “Only those who defeat me beloved champion can leave.”  grandmaster said with a smile. “just send him that way he’ll stab whomever whatever to get back home” you say. thor nods with a smirk.

and off he goes. not long after loki nods towards where thor was sent and you nod back. As much as you hate loki it was nice having 2 familiar faces here. You walked after loki and snuck into the room. loki was making hand gestures as thor threw a rock through him. “course” you say with a shake of your head. loki and thor look towards you. “why did i actually think for once you'd be nice and actually be here” you say rolling your eyes. “Never put faith in my brother to be nice” thor says throwing another rock through loki. loki rolls his eyes “You don't want my help then i'll just go.” loki says turning around then turning back. “I haven't seen this champion but i know he is unstoppable and terrifying. I have placed a large wager against you won't let me down.” loki says walking off.

“He's right ya know, loki, this champion is a champion for a reason and you don't have your hammer anymore you cant even do your cool lighting trick you barely got it out your fingers...just don't get killed out there please. Loki won't admit it but he cares about your dumbass and so do i so do us both a favor and don't get killed” you say walking out the room. loki was right at the other side and rolled is eyes. “that was cheesy” he says. “shut up i just don't want you to be more annoying than usual if he fucking dies.” you reply with a grumble.

Soon enough the battle comes and you sit next to loki. your nerves become evident the more time passes. loki puts a hand on your bouncing leg. slowly it calms down. his hand stays there as thor walks out. you gulp deeply. they announce the champion and out walks.....hulk? “I have to get off this plant” loki says starting to walk off. you giggle. loki's experiences with hulk were far from fun.

“where are you going?” grandmaster ask walking loki back to his seat. “Hey! I know him! hes a friend from work!” thor says yelling. you bite back a smile. “ahem yea we kind of all work together” you say with a smile to grandmaster. his smile falters. loki looks nervous. as much as you wanted to laugh at his pain hulk throwing you around can be quite traumatic. “hey you're up here...hes down there” you say “hes not coming after you ok hes controlled its ok.” you say to loki. he nods.

The fight goes on and right when you see an end that scared you thor got his powers and blasted hulk. “oh shit” you mumble. “of course” loki mumbles. thor lost the fight that's the summary of it. You and loki ended up wondering the place. “shouldn't we try to find thor?” you ask. “if you want thor i can take you to him but i figured id take you somewhere” loki said. “uh yea sure” you said with a shrug. 

You a loki end up at the top of a mountain the view looks beautiful. the sky was many shades of blue from dark to light. “this is...this is beautiful” you say. “yes it is” he replied looking at you. you turn to him seeing him look at you. you smile...maybe loki wasn't so bad after all.

Then an alarm goes off “My precious champion is missing that seductive lord of thunder as stolen him” a hologram of grandmaster says. “shit....thor” you say. “follow” loki says. he grabs your hand and you two end up in the grandmasters office him and the scavenger who brought you and thor is there debate who can bring thor and hulk in faster. “Well i come as a pair” loki said holding your hand up. “uhhhhhh suppose so?” you say with a shrug. “i woke up wanting an execution but ill settle for this little ‘who gonna get him first’” grandmaster says. 

you three walk out. “now why would you help my brother escape” loki ask “I help no one but myself” she replies. loki and her end up fighting as you just sit back and watch what can be said watching loki get his ass handed to him was fun. when she knocks him out she looks to you. “do i have to knock you out too? or i can just use this.” she says holding the remote. “uh see i'm not really with him but ya see he makes a great partner in crime but ill just follow willingly.” you say putting your hands up. “good choice” she says.

“Should probably get your name if your going to take us hostage” you say. “valkyrie” she says. you two walk in silence into a room as she ties him up. “i’ll be back keep him there” she says walking out. you sit next to loki and sigh. “your my soulmate...you? i don't know if i have the worst luck.....no i have the best luck.” you say with a smile. one of his sleeves is slightly up and you can see your name on his wrist. “how did we get stuck like this...together.” you ask. loki looks so peaceful asleep. this trip has made you see a vulnerable and kinder loki.

you kiss his cheek before seeing him squirm. his eye open and he looks around. “course she made you babysit” he grumbles. aaaaand he ruined it. you roll your eyes. “shut up and make this easy on both of us and just stay.” you say. “what am I a dog?” he says with a huff. “well you were a snake one time” you say laughing at the memory. he laughs “fair enough” he replies. He starts to say something else when the doors open. thor and bruce walk in. “y/n!” he says excitedly. “Bruce” you say happily hugging him. You two had been close before he disappeared to well here. loki grumbles and bruce turn to him. “last time i saw you, you were ready to kill us where are we at now?” bruce ask. “it varies moment to moment” loki replies. 

bruce looks at you concerned. “he's on our side for now.” you say sitting next to loki. “look we need to get out of here.” he points to a portal outside “through there” he says. “through the devil's anus?!” valkyrie ask. you burst out laughing. “I wasn't aware it was called that when i picked it” thor says slightly embarrassed. “well we need a ship mine wont make it through that” valkyrie says.

They then nerd out about ships as loki struggles in his chains. “Don't even try there stuck there” you whisper to him. he sighs and gives up. “I just so happen to know the codes to grandmasters ship keep” loki says. “and your just ready to help?” valkyrie ask “i have run out of favors with grandmaster sO” he says and sighs. you side eye loki suspicious. he smiles you and you look to the others. 

“what the worst he betrays us? Would just be another day with the odinson boys.” you say standing up. So that was that. You,thor, and loki would go get the ship. you two were at a door when thor started “I suppose we should talk.” he said. “i disagree,open communication was never our family's forte” loki said. “you have no idea quite the revelation sense we last spoke” thor says

“hello” thor says to the people...things that see you 3 come in. “hi” loki says making you smile “sup” you say before you 3 blast them. “Odin brought us together” loki says as you 3 hide from the shot fired back. “Its almost poetic that his death should split us apart.” loki continues. you sigh “loki why are you so prominent on keeping this angsty wall of yours up” you grumble earning you a side eye. you three then finish them off walking to another key pad. “We might as well be strangers now” loki says ignoring your statement.

“Two sons of the crown, set adrift” loki says. you'd love to say something or really just slap loki so he stops pushing his brother away further and further with every words but you let him continue. The door opens and a man points a gun at loki making him backup and you giggle as thor blast him to the ceiling. “thought you didn't want to talk about it” thor says walking into the elevator. loki puts a finger up “here's the thing” he says stepping over the body. you roll your eyes and follow.

“im probably better off staying here on sakaar.” loki says. that's not what he wants. you stare at thor which he clearly doesn't get cause he then says “That's exactly what I was thinking” 

loki makes a stunned face and looks shocked and confused. “Did you just agree with me?” he says shocked. you hit loki's shoulder “what its surprising” you roll your eyes. “come on this place is perfect for you. its savage,chaotic,lawless. Brother you're gonna do great here.” thor says matter of factly. you title your head up and sigh. “morons” you grumble earning two confused looks.

“Do you truly think so little of me?” lokie ask. you shake your head. they really are stupid aren't they. “Loki, i thought the world of you.” thor says. finally now loki dont fuck this up. loki's face soften ups and you smile at it. “I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever” thor continues. come oooon.  “but” fucking hell thor. “at the end of they day your you and i'm me” thor says with a shrug. loki looks hurt now. “i don't know maybe there's still good in you. but lets be honest our paths diverged a long time ago” he finishes. fucking hell thor you just had to go and fuck it up. loki contemplates what was just said looking between the floor and thor. 

he sighs and nods. his face is full of hurt. you grab his hand softly and give him a small smile which he reciprocates. you may hate loki which lets be honest even that was falling apart but you still wanted him happy. you hated how hurt he looked. like a kicked puppy. “yea...it's probably for the best that we never see each other again.” loki says voice full of pain and almost desperate for thor to deny the allegations.  “that's what you always wanted” thor says patting loki. “yall are the most idiotic gods there could be” you say taking thor off guard. loki simply laughs. thor shakes his head and turns back to the front.

“hey lets do get help” thor says happily. this wipes the hurt from loki and replaces it with confusion. “what?” he ask “get help.” he says again. “no.” loki says shaking his head. “come on, you love it” thor says excitedly. “I hate it” loki says shaking his head again. “Its great it works everytime” thor says “its humiliating loki says swinging his hands bringing attention to you two holding hands. This earns a smirk from thor before he says “You have a better plan?” he ask.

“no” loki says. “were doing it” thor says with a smile. “we are not doing get help” loki says matter of factly. next thing you knew loki was limp over the shoulder and thor was yelling get help before throwing loki at the guards. you laughed falling onto your ass. “see this is why i didn't want to do it” loki says nodding to you. “im im ok im good” you say trying to stop laughing. you get up but not far before loki does as loki does and betrays yall. he twitches on the floor and thor walks off. “i'm gonna stay here with him” you say. thor looks suspiciously at you before carrying on. 

“if you just hadn't been so stupid and said how you felt and what you wanted from thor we wouldn't be here and now im stuck taking care of your dumbass once again. God i don't even know why i stay anymore when all you do is exactly what would hurt me what you trying to fulfill the enemy part of our deal?” you ask lifting up your sleeves showing the two loki names. “I mean really loki why do you keep doing this please just explain it to me. I started to see a side of you the side that I actually cared for and saw us being real soulmates but then you pulled this crap again and now i don't even know what to feel.” you say before the doors bust in. a rocky man and a group of others walk in. picking up the remote and stopping loki's twitching. Loki looks at you with soft eyes before turning back to the men smuggly. “you look like your in desperate need of a leader” he says. you huff and he looks at you and smiles.

“why thank you” the group says. With that y'all are off on a ship. “sooo where are we running to now” you ask loki. “no more running were going to asgard and were going to kill my sister.” he says with a nod. you smile. you grab lokis shoulders throwing him off. “whatd i do?” he ask. for the first time ever he seems like he'd do anything for you. “nothing” you say with a smile. you kiss his cheek. he looks around confused before clearing his throat. “ok good um ok” he says turning to the panel. you giggle before walking to chat with the others. finally you arrived at asgard which is on fire and surrounded by death. “read?” he ask. you grab his hand. “always” you say turning to him. he smiles and nods. the ship door opens and you all run out and attack.

when the fight seems like a dead end thor blast the whole kingdom with lighting and launches himself out to the bridge. loki smirks slightly which you see and smile yourself. “your late” thor says  “your missing an eye” loki says. “ok enough let clear these out and-” you start before hela emerges. what the actual fuck. “hit her with lighting” loki says. “I just hit her with the biggest lighting bolt and she acted like it was nothing” thor yells. “wait....what if this isn't about stopping ragnarok.  what if it was about causing it”

thor looks at loki who looks surprised. “this is insane even for me” he says walking off. “Loki!” you yell. he turns around. you grab him and kiss him. its soft and its like the world stopped just for a moment before you have to pull away. “don't get killed” you say. he nods and smiles “anything for you darling” he says with a wink before running off. thor clears his throat. “let's fight” you say. with that you and valkyrie fight with the others as thor hold hela off. you worry for loki how he’ll get out.

Then ragnarok emerges and fire is everywhere. hels is distracted and you and the others run into the ship. flying away Taika says something about the foundation. then it explodes. a few minutes later loki is next to you. “hello darling” he says. you smile and grab onto loki pulling him into a hug. “loki thank god” you say pulling away. you kiss him deeply. “don't ever do that shit again” you say.

You all spend 3 months flying around before coming across a teeny tiny issues heh. you sat in a pool of blood of your friends. people you grew to care about. you tried to scream but were muffled by the guard on your mouth. After the 1st scream they put the guard on to stop the noise. thor was tied down. Heimdall was dead and hulk had been blasted away.  You tried to scream again but it stopped as soon as it exited.

Thanos had just decided earth was where needed to be next. “if i might interject, if you are going to earth you might want a guid” loki says appearing. he walks towards thanos. “I do have a bit of experience in that arena” loke says walking up to thanos “if you consider failure experience” thanos said. “I consider experience experience” he said firmly. “All mighty thanos, I loki, prince of asgard, odinson, the rightful king of jotunheim,god of mischief.” he starts spewing off his titles. you see him make a knife appear and you try to scream once again. “Do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity.” he says starting to power before trying to stab thanos. thanos stops it. “undying” thanos says. “you should choose your words more carefully.” thanos says as he forces loki to drop the knife. 

Thanos grabs loki by the neck chocking him. you scream but no sound escapes. tears flood your eyes. “you will never be a god” loki says with his last breath before thanos snaps his neck. thor tries to scream too bt fails.thanos walks over and drops loki's body. “no resurrections this time” he  says before lighting everything on fire and leaving. with that your guards are released. you run to lokis body. 

you sob and scream. “y/n” thor tries. “shut the fuck up thor” you yell at him through gritted death. you hold loki. your enemy, your nemesis but more importantly your soulmate. rolling up his sleeves you see the one with your name. grabbing the other you see a different name. Luca. you knew him he was annoying as hell. of course now he was another corpse among the rest. you weren't his enemy. He was only yours. Everything he did everything that annoyed you was him trying to be close but in loki's own way. Loki Laufeyson. your enemy and your one true love.

[eastdrakc]

» • * — ( kj apa , cismale , he/him ) . i think i hear what’s poppin by jack harlow coming from apartment 2102. doesn’t easton ‘east’ drake live there ?? i heard they are a 24 year old musician & fitness model from philadelphia , but they’ve been living in the apartments for 6 months . they come across a bit - naive and - jealous , but they also seem like they could be + personable  + charming . whenever i see them , i think of abs on abs, tattoo’s and endless substances usage. oh , and don’t forget to follow them on instagram at @downeast !

basics

name: easton ‘east’ drake age: 24 birthday: june 17th zodiac sign: gemini (don’t judge) born: philadelphia, pennsylvania favorite food: italian favorite drink: whiskey favorite non alcoholic drink: gatorade uses: drugs mostly for recreational usage, but also to mellow out. smokes weed on the regular and cigarettes from time to time in the studio

bio

east got into music young. after suffering an injury that took him out of playing basketball for ever, he turned to his love of the guitar to cope with the surgery and never put it down after.

he’s still working on making it big off of it? the opportunity presented itself for him to go into fitness and modeling right after high school and he had to take it. he didn’t apply to colleges because school wasn’t his thing. so he moved to la, did endless amounts of campaigns and was a part of a lot fitness classes & videos. there’s fan pages dedicated to his abs & hair.

but he has mad talent. he can play anything from memory on his guitars, and his mom was a piano player so he sort of knew basic chords and how to incorporate random objects in to making songs. right now he’s working on his ep.

broken fam gang, reunite. parents are divorced, dad remarried with kids, mom going through a midlife crisis and her 3rd divorce. he had lots of little siblings, doesn’t really want to talk about it. so mommy issues are a thing.

lyric & song writing isn’t his specialty. he’s still trying to filter it out and grow new muse, experience more in life than just pain. he’s been through a lot, with family, high school and depression, so you can thank his trauma for how funny he is!

east will laugh at your jokes even if they aren’t as funny as his. he doesn’t want you to feel bad.  he’s quick with the puns and always want to do things to make you smile.

parties are his thing. he will throw them all and come up with themes on the spot. you need a hook up for drugs, contact this man. he has an in with all the musicians and models in new york city, regardless of being here for only 6 months. philly is only like a 2 hour train ride, so he knows the city and knows all the underground spots.

drugs are his release from everything, he usually uses them to numb the pain that has always been built up. he started using after his surgery in high school on his knee and never got over the addiction to the way the medication makes him feel

voiceclaim idea coming soon. he is working on a youtube and god, his tiktok is so embarrassing because he is mostly just showing off his abs & body. but like, follow & subscribe

random head canons

his scar is a part of him, damnit. but if you get to learn where and what it’s from, you’re super special.

he’s huge into sports, hates every new york team because it’s in his blood.

 loves to play games, will kick your ass in anything and has this impulsive need to always try something new. like skateboarding, biking, rollerblading. he’s very into things that are physical and goes to play pick up games at the local rec center often.

was cheated on in high school, so doesn’t really do realtionships anymore. sleeps around like a champ and is very confident in his bed game.

will send you memes at 3 am when he can’t sleep. will also send you nudes knowing you’re in public & ask for them back <3

wants a dog so bad. misses his fam dog back home, that’s his best buddy.

thinks he can rap like a boss, but he cannot.

will use his charm to get out of any ticket, sticky situation and flirt his way through any trouble he gets in.

doesn’t let fame really get to his head, but he’s also one that doesn’t manage money well so like, he’s the guy with a sports car in new york city where no one even drives?

is on okcupid cause he’s okstupid

if you’re super special, he will cook for you. more than just cereal!

connection ideas

anything. im the type of person who likes to build off of our characters and find something that fits them. i made him newer to the city so he can get to know your characters but anything pre-existing is bomb as well. i just want to write with all of you

[k-poplegs]

howdy yall

Man, it’s been a minute or 4 hasn’t it. Yep I made a 4minute reference cuz I’m old as fuck, deal with it.

I just wanted to say I’m still alive and doing well. I am very sorry for stepping away from my blog for so long. 

I had something I wanted to say but now I’m not sure exactly what or why … I can’t explain it. So I guess I’ll just try to make sense.

I never thought this blog would be as big as it is. It’s not huge or the most popular, I’m not a content creator, just a reblogger/reposter but still 15k followers is pretty impressive. And I only repost like, my taste, my followed content. Imagine if I followed twice or black pink or … like other groups that were big on top of what I already post. Man. Sorry I don’t but it was already overwhelming posting stuff I was invested in. So it was only more time consuming to look for stuff I didn’t really follow. Anyways, I guess that’s what it comes down to. Investment. Interest.

I’m growing older and I was already an older K-pop fan when I was fully following K-pop back in the glory days when snsd and 2ne1 reigned supreme. K-pop helped me through a lot and it made me a better person. These days I just don’t have the time, or the same connection and it hurts me to say the need to go all in like I used to. I would watch every show every bit of content regarding any group I followed. Secret, fx, t-ara, snsd, miss a, whatever I was getting on that fan site I was checking YouTube, Vimeo, daily motion, downloading episodes to my HDD in case the channel or content was taken down for copyrights lol. And now… now I say I’m a red velvet fan and I follow them but I’ve watched like a few snippets of content compared to what I used to. I always say, yeah I’ll finish level up project… and I never do.

I always say I’ll check my likes and reblog content… and here I am years later.

However, I don’t want to be like that anymore. Maybe I’m nostalgic or having a midlife crisis. Im going to seriously get on my old HDD and post anything I never posted from my ““post to klegs” folder. So seriously seriously be prepared for some last generation idol spam within the coming week

[blueathens]

Am I the only one who’s life is complete bs right now? And I can’t even let myself drown in my sorrow because then I feel even more worse because of the situation in Ukraine and they DEFINITELY are in a a worse situation than I am right now 🙄 what is this? Way too early midlife crisis?

i relate to this way to much, i honestly feel like im going through a midlife crisis too and feel like shit as im always like 'people have it worst' or something

but you are valid to have your own feelings and trauma cant be compared either - but you are allowed to express your feelings and feel good or feel like complete shit - we're humans and we're gonna go up and down despite what happens

it wont get better today my love but hopefully you find yourself on the right path again really soon - but at the end of the day it will all get better soon <33

[rigginsstreet]

this got SUPER long so its going under the cut but this is the f*lice rant i was talking about lmao enjoy! (full disclosure i also end up going on a fredsythe rant because i gotta, ok. yall gonna make me sit through this stupid ass storyline when a better one is RIGHT FUCKING THERE so yeah, im mad. fp jones also likes men get over it.)

Sorry but there's literally nothing new inventive shocking or compelling about a storyline where two grown ass straight MARRIED adults are pining over each other because they had some weird romantic connection nearly 30 fucking years ago that may or may not have resulted in a fucking teenage pregnancy that im sure NOBODY wanted like yall really out here wanting me to believe what? alice cheated on her boyfriend and got knocked up by a dude who represented everything she was trying to get away from? and she told hal the kid was fps but never told fp himself? because that makes all of ZERO FUCKING SENSE! even if they wanted to throw out “well alice and hal were broken up at the time” its still SO out of character for alice like i know she had her wild child serpent days but its not something she looks back on with fondness so why the HELL does anyone think its a good idea to set her up with the fucking LEADER of the entire GANG are you all sniffing glue?? and then theyre trying to sit here and vilify hal so that we root for alice to hook up with fp in present day? the fuck outta here im not about to sit and cheer on alice’s character regression. first of all yall need to stop getting mad at 17 year old hal for not wanting to be a father and handling this situation poorly he was a TEENAGE BOY i know yall think everyone needs to be pristine angels from birth but thats not how life works and second of all he has every right to be sketched out that his daughter brought forth her long lost brother to fill in the void polly left, especially when the first time hal sees chic hes fucking BLEEDING after being attacked for god knows what reason in hals mind like... im team hal on this one he’s the only one with some self preservation alice and betty about to get themselves killed i s2g all these dumb ass decisions are being made, which in itself is bad enough, but to make it so obvious that this is all being done to eventually prop up a ship that is the very definition of fan service, is beyond ridiculous and terrible writing. like i get it. madchen and skeet are hot and have chemistry (which...btw....literally all the parents have insane chemistry with each other but no focus on the boring obvious straight pairing i guess but oh do not worry i have more to say on that later) i get it. but what is the purpose of that if you cant write an interesting story? and dont get me started on how shoehorned this recent ~connection~ is like yes i admit in s1 i got vibes from them (which, stay on this blog for 5 minutes and you will soon realize i can romantically/sexually connect pretty much any pairing amongst the parents because, like i said, they all have insane chemistry and they all say weird shit to each other). but i cannot believe yall sat here and thought the whole sexual frustration comment after fp got out of prison or the “leave him” exchange felt authentic??? like is it me? am i the one in the twilight zone? somebody help me out here. alice and fp in s1 couldnt stand each other and now shes all joking about his sex life ?? fp almost started a huge fight during that dinner with her and hal and the kids and yet im supposed to believe he’s been pining after her all these years?? like maybe id have an easier time believing this shit if i hadnt seen how he interacts with fred (oh yes. we’re going there because im tired of this HETERO NONSENSE GOING ON ALL THE TIME IN TELEVISION WHEN THEYVE LITERALLY SET UP BETTER OPPORTUNITIES FOR SAME SEX RELATIONSHIPS IM IN A MOOD SO WE’RE GOING ALL OUT) but to close off this part of my rant (oh and i didnt even touch upon how gross itd be for betty and jughead to share a sibling lmfao but that should be self explanatory): there is literally no conceivable way for this shit to go down and not make me lose respect for alice (fp i can give a slight pass to on the front of he and his wife being separate, but even then if he goes after alice while she’s still with hal....you done fucked up). first of all, going after your daughters boyfriends/ex boyfriends father is weird. second of all, if chic is in fact hals son, then they need to work on bringing the family together. hal is not a lost cause. chic is creepy as hell if anything i can see him pulling some shit that brings betty hal and alice closer together but no that makes too much sense so the writers probably wont do that! so theyre either gonna continue to push hal out so that itll be “acceptable” for alice to run to fp, or hal has to literally just fucking die and then what? alice goes to fp in her time of grief? im gonna throw up. 

and now on to the gay shit

im supposed to compare f*lice and fredsythe scenes and come out thinking alice was the one he was in love with? bitch WHERE? fp has a sordid past with both alice and fred for different reasons. we dont know the full extent of what happened with alice (if anything but for the sake of predictability that i know to expect from a cw show, lets say they do) but given how they interact with each other we can assume it was bad. and we all know fred and fps history and how dark that got for fp (like i literally wrote up a whole thing about it if you want a link i’ll send it to you) and yet no matter the past, fp had probably his most lightest moment of the show with fred. he was willing to drop everything and help fred and soon as he asked (which, btw, fred didnt even ask for help. fp knew he was in trouble and that was it. thats all he needed and he was there for fred). THAT is love, ok. THAT is a relationship worth delving into beyond 2 friggen episodes in season 1. And yes this same storyline thats been given to f*lice with this whole adultery nonsense, but with fp and Fred, would actually be interesting because two gay kids in the early 90s actually have a valid reason for not being together and not ending up together. and then you add on that fps from the south side and fred the north, and that makes things even more complicated for them because then you can have a whole scenario of fp thinking hes not good enough for fred and ending things because of his own insecurities, his way of trying to push fred towards a better life... like THAT makes sense. even if fred and fp were never a thing and you just went with fp being in love with his best friend all these years and he could never have him (which still makes sense because i mean come on, freds casanova ways in high school with the ladies? fp sitting on the sidelines trying to be a supportive best friend but dying on the inside, never telling fred how he feels?) not to mention like half the serpents are gay as hell and there would be such a great story to tell for why all these gay south side kids end up in the same gang under fps wing, because he’s making up for his own shitty upbringing, he wants these kids to know someones looking out for them like...if the writers need plots and backstory I can give you them for free it really didn't take a lot of brainpower but no by all means tell me how the two ~straight~ kids who grew up on the same side of town under virtually the same circumstances, one of whom wanted NOTHING MORE THAN TO SHED HER SERPENT IMAGE AND CREATE A BETTER LIFE FOR HERSELF, and the other who keeps going on about wanting to put his family back together, had such a tragic backstory and its not just a blatant midlife crisis on both their ends. please. by all means. enlighten me. 😒

[dramallamadingdang]

Before-bed replies. :)

For @emeraldfalconsims, @tamtam-go92, @scibirg, @didilysims, @penig, @ssatinn, @immerso-sims, and @fuzzyspork...

emeraldfalconsims replied to your link “ModTheSims - (Updated!) Mood Swing + Midlife Crisis”

Tbh, I looked at those and was immediately turned off by the terrible English in the popups. I wouldn't care if it was just the post itself, but I'm the kind of person who wants mods to fix the EAxis grammar errors, soooo...

I get you, but...Really, that's all easily fixable. One just needs to find and rewrite the text strings. I've done that often, especially when I used to use custom careers in my game, many of which included chance cards littered with badly-worded and grammatically-incorrect text written by obviously-not-native-English-speakers. This particular modder is obviously not a native English-speaker and obviously not fully fluent in the language, but I'm all kinds of tolerant when that's the case. With EA? Not so much, but even with them? We all make mistakes and typos from time to time that are missed in the editorial process, even when that process involves multiple people. Also, I'm well aware that my own grammar when yakking online and in forum/blog posts and things like that is far from perfect -- often deliberately so because, let’s face it, “speaking” with perfect grammar just “sounds” weird and/or unbearably pretentious -- so I try to be neither a pedant nor a hypocrite on the subject.

Anyway, yeah...Text strings be totes fixable, m'friend. ;)

tamtam-go92 replied to your link “ModTheSims - (Updated!) Mood Swing + Midlife Crisis”

Those Sound like really great Modus but im always a bit nervous about adding stuff like that to my game...

I am, too, mostly because I already use hundreds of mods in my game, so the outcome of adding new ones, especially those that alter lots of things, is always uncertain. 

So, what I do is have a testing neighborhood that I don’t care about. Its associated downloads folder contains a copy of just the Mods folder from my “real” game. I put the new mod in and play with it a bit in debug mode, see if I get error messages or if menu options go missing or any other stuff that’s a symptom of mod conflicts. If I do, I change loading order to see if that fixes the issues. If it does, then I copy the testing Mods folder back over to the folder in my “real” game. If it doesn’t, then I either don’t use the new mod or, if it’s something I really want, I run the Hack Conflict Detection Utility to see if it can tell me what the conflicting mod(s) is/are, and then I decide which I want more. And if the HCDU doesn’t give me any useful info, then I 50/50 until I find the conflicts and then decide between mods. Anyway, this way I find out if I can use the new mod along with those I already have without the possibility of doing any damage to any neighborhood I care about.

tamtam-go92 replied to your photoset “More random captioned pics because, basically, this is a household...”

Hopefully the girls will be old enough when Amalia dies...

Margo was like a day or two away from teenhood when those pics were taken, so no problem. :)

scibirg replied to your post “I'm excited about the olympics too! Especially ski jumping. I love to...”

Did you see the ladies ski jumping? Brave girls!

Honestly, most of the winter events involve bravery. Well, except curling, I guess. *laugh* I guess the worst that can happen with that is you drop a 40-lb rock on your foot or maybe slip and fall on your butt. :) And I guess the cross-country skiing is more physically-taxing than actually dangerous. And I guess the figure skating isn’t that risky, although some of those things that the pairs skaters do look more than a little scary for the female partner. But yeah, the ski-jumpers and downhill skiers and sliders and speed-skaters and snowboarders are all completely nutty in adrenaline-junkie ways that I totally identify with. :D

scibirg replied to your post “dunne-ias replied to your post: I’m excited about...”

Slalom is from Norwegian, meaning ski track with turns. In Norwegian cross-country skiing is called "langrenn" meaning long slide. Probably due to it being used for travelling long distances.

ssatinn replied to your post “dunne-ias replied to your post: I’m excited about...”

We call Nordic skiing "längdskidor" - direct translation would be "long ski". Alpine skiing we call "slalom", no idea where that word comes from though..

Hm, interesting! So in Swedish, any type of downhill skiing is called “slalom?” Because in English that word is reserved for the type of downhill skiing where you’re zig-zagging in a pattern through gates -- as the Norwegian word would imply -- not the kind where you’re just shooting straight down the hill. Or does Swedish have a different word for that, too?

I don’t know why I find stuff like this so interesting, but I do. :) Maybe I shoulda been a linguist or something...

didilysims replied to your post “I'm excited about the olympics too! Especially ski jumping. I love to...”

Woo Olympics! I find just watching the events gives me an adrenaline rush. Watching luge reruns today had me all "oh my-ing" and "oh no-ing" and actually jumping out of my seat a few times. Love those crazy dangerous downhill events. :D

OMG, that poor American luge-slider today! Did you see that? Quite the wipeout she had. Even so, I sooooooooooooooo want to luge. Like, if I could just go and do it once, like how people go skydiving, I totally would. Buuuuuut I suppose it’s something you actually have to learn how to do before you lay on a minimalist sled and zoom down a track of ice at ungodly speeds... :)

emeraldfalconsims replied to your post “I'm excited about the olympics too! Especially ski jumping. I love to...”

It's too bad that marksmanship is so tied in practical applications to killing. It was so empowering for me when I discovered a sport I was actually naturally good at.

That's not really the case, though. I mean, maybe it is in the mind of Joe Q. Public that's been fed a daily diet of crazy people killing other people mixed with glamorized violence in "entertainment," but beyond that, the practical application of marksmanship isn't killing (either people or other animals) but rather marksmanship competitions. Aside from niche things like biathlon, there are all sorts of local, regional, state, and national marksmanship competitions that happen throughout the year, regulated by their own governing bodies. I used to do 3-gun competitions, myself. 

Marksmanship isn't about killing anything because when you get down to it, hunting animals -- or even killing a person, if that’s your goal for whatever reason -- doesn't require sharpshooting levels of accuracy, certainly not with automatic weapons. (With those, you just kind of squeeze the trigger and try to hold on while pretending the thing is a garden hose. I don’t like them; I like precision.) Killing just requires doing enough damage, and you can do that without being at all accurate. Marksmanship's about consistent accuracy, often under pressure. Which can have applications in killing things, and can make you better at killing things (ideally things that are legal to kill, of course) but that's not what it's about. I wish more people would realize that. And I wish the NRA would GTFO, but that’s an entirely different subject.

penig replied to your post “Do you know why some custom doors and arches doesn't work in apartment...”

Custom content that was made before AL came out doesn't update and confuses the already-confused apartment code. To reduce annoyance I tend to use Maxis doors and arches inside exclusively. Windows are no problem.

Good to know. :) I guess I never really noticed because I don’t build apartments all that often. Mostly because I think furnishing them is mind-numbingly boring. :) And even when I do build them, I mostly use Maxis interior doors, often add-ons like centered-on-two-tile versions of a Maxis door, but since those use Maxis coding, I’m guessing they don’t present a problem in this regard.

immerso-sims replied to your post “The feel-good song meme. :)”

Thanks. I tried searching for happy songs in my iTunes collection, but I realised I am a total sad/dark/melancholic/whatever songs lover, so I'll pass on the meme :D

HAH! :) But hey, if a sad/melancholy song makes you feel better, I suppose that actually counts as a feel-good song! :)

fuzzyspork replied to your post “Big long reply post about...lots of stuff”

I've had both the high witches (excluding the neutral one because they are apparently very anti-social) on a community lot at the same time several times. If a Sim interacts with whichever arrives first then when enough time passes the other witch will usually show up. I think they must have negative relationship by default, so I've seen them fight! Fisticuffs style though. This is where magic would have been awesome. :/

Really? I don’t think I’ve ever had more than one high witch on a community lot, even when I’ve had playable stay on them for multiple days at a time, like when I send them on a weekend camping trip or what-have-you. Maybe it’s because I pretty much never have Sims interact with the high witches, since I use other means to have Sims become witches? Maybe I should try interacting with them... Although if there’s just fisticuffs as opposed to zapping each other with magic, I suppose there’s not much point. Then it’s just yet another fight between non-playables.

[undeademoprincess]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on) 

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later??? 

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often 

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton  vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule  what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

[thelifetimechannel]