#like what if I'm actually honest to it and it just send the police to my house to take me away

[kerosene-saint]

does anybody else have Koko bot in their dms but are to scared to use it or am I just really mentally ill

[cogentranting]

Reasons Jason Bourne is the superior super spy:

Spends most of the first movie wearing cozy old sweaters

His love interest is nervous talking, pouring out her life story and he's not only genuinely listening but wants her to keep going because he likes hearing her talk

Pours his heart put to HER and is completely honest with her after only knowing her for like an hour

Is happy to give Marie tons of money for helping him

When he first realizes that people are trying to kill him, he tries to send Marie to the police even though it would be bad for him

Everyone in the first movie is like "What's Bourne up to, he must have a genius master plan" but actually he's just so so confused and beating them all on muscle memory alone

When they have to dye Marie's hair for disguise, he actually does it for her and I list this purely because I do not believe that James Bond would do the same

After his love interest dies in the beginning of the second one he goes three whole movies without hooking up with, flirting with or otherwise seducing any other women (yes I'm looking at you, JAMES. But Ethan Hunt is not off the hook either.) (To be clear the MOVIES are just as likely as the other franchises to fridge its female characters, but before they do that Jason himself is gonna be respectful)

He has such a baby face in the first one. Yes he can kill you with his bare hands but he also looks like he calls his mom to help him make doctor appointments

Awkwardly plays with kids on a swingset so his girlfriend can talk to her brother

He's an assassin, sure, but he feels really bad about it

[nunalastor]

Serial Roommates

Anonymous asked:

Lucifer and Guy having the weirdest dynamic imaginable. Lucifer is jealous of Guy having Alastor's affections (he does know it's not romantic) but knows better than to do anything to him. Guy doesn't know what to feel about the devil from the bible being obviously smitten with his best friend.

Then one night they get drunk and Guy mentions how lonely it is in heaven without Alastor, the one person who understands his trauma. Lucifer understands that feeling being without Lilith, and Guy grows on him a little. Then Guy starts talking shit about Micheal and how insufferable he is ("I understand I'm a detective so he appreciates my profession, but every time he looks at me it's like he wants to sleep with me"), and Lucifer decides he actually really likes Guy.

Anonymous asked:

Made Alastor and Guy in the Sims 4 to see what chaos unfolded and Guy got abducted by aliens and impregnated. Alastor keeps staring at the wall as though saying "oh thank god it wasn't me" like he knows the shit that happens to him on this blog.

Anonymous asked:

The “Vox assumes Guy and Alastor are lovers” ask made me think about the Thunder Saga and the song “suffering” with a siren pretending to be Odysseus's wife Penelope.

Vox sends a fake to impersonate Guy to get to Alastor, and sends a fake Alastor to get to Guy. This is how everyone finds out Guy and Alastor may be on opposite ends of the law but they are in some ways cut from the same cloth, having the exact same response of “this isn’t my friend but I am going to play along in song form to get information." (Alastor has the violent way of the other shoe dropping whereas Guy just leaves, but that comes after)

It gets so stupid that they are saying the same things and somehow harmonizing. The hotel seeing both and able to cleanly turn it into a duet leaves them wondering if this was rehearsed to troll Vox. It wasn't, but Alastor and Guy would be delighted to find out that's how it got interpreted by literally everyone.

Anonymous asked:

Was just binge watching Dexter and at the end of season 4, Rita dies and Dexter had already killed Trinity before he found her.

So is this angst piece, Alastor manages to kill the serial killer that the police were taking too long to find. But when he returns to his shared apartment with Guy, he finds that he was murdered in a similar fashion as the killer’s victims.

Anonymous asked:

Guy is the only one in existence who can talk Alastor into freeing Husk. Husk wants to be grateful but he's actually terrified. Who is this person and how does he have that kind of power?

Anonymous asked:

That headcanon description of Guy being dark hair, grey eyes, and tan skin and then an ask on the same post-list compares him to a Lois Lane with basically that same physical description feels like a sign from the universe that's what he looks like.

Anonymous asked:

Guy and Alastor really do embody if a golden retriever and a deer became friends. Nobody knows how it happened, one should have tried to kill the other by now (golden retrievers are hunting dogs), but they're best friends.

Anonymous asked:

The only thing stupider than kidnapping Guy is whatever Valentino would try to do. Let's be honest Guy's a looker, and Valentino would be interested in that.

Velvette should resign herself to being a one-person show from now on, because Vox and Valentino are about to have lessons in natural selection. Guy was probably the one to warn them too.

Anonymous asked:

Guy and Alastor being asexual/ace-spectrum roommates together. Alastor doesn’t know the term asexual which means Guy probably doesn’t either. They lived together and because they were both like that assumed that’s how sane people were and didn’t understand everyone else’s love of sex. Would it magically happen when they found the right person? Apparently not because they both died never experiencing it. 

Charlie tries to explain asexuality to Alastor, and Alastor is confused because his roommate was the exact same way and what were the odds they were both this way? High, because the hotel meets Guy and everyone instantly clocks “yeah, they are both like that.”

Anonymous asked:

What if Guy is the more insane of the two? He is the nicest person you will ever meet and it takes a lot to bring out that side of him, but if push comes to shove and something causes him to well and truly snap, Alastor looks like nothing in comparison.

Anonymous asked:

Serial Roommates - Vox kidnaps Guy edition

Vox would have an interesting time with Guy as a prisoner before Alastor arrives to rescue him. Either Guy is so jaded from the Baker Estate he doesn't care and makes light of the situation, or the flip side that he has a panic attack because part of his mind broke in that house, and trauma-dumps the entirety of his imprisonment onto Vox.

How Guy reacts to the whole kidnapping determines how screwed Vox is, something he figures out real quickly during an attempt at damage control post-"kidnapping Guy was a suicide mission" realization.

Anonymous asked:

Guy has a spirit medium channel Alastor post-death because he needs to know which religion is correct.

Anonymous asked:

Serial Roommates + Husk

Alastor and Husk didn't know each other when they were alive but Guy and Husk sure did. How they met? No idea, but they met in the time after Alastor died but before Guy succumbed to his illness. Husk heard all about Guy's dead friend Alastor, so he had a positive view of him based on that.

Then he met Alastor in hell and upon realizing this was the dude, he has to sit himself down and have a crisis. How was this the man Guy spoke so fondly of, and what was wrong with Husk to low-key agree with him in spite of literally everything.

Anonymous asked:

Everyone knows hurting or killing Guy is suicide, so Vox decides he is instead going to seduce Guy to get back at Alastor (Valentino knows and is into this plan). He could use a love potion or hypnotism to sleep with Guy, but no, he has to do this legit.

Somehow this goes worse than seducing Alastor. Guy does not retort back, he doesn't fight, he gives a soulless dead-eyed stare the entire time. He's a detective and Vox is a cult leader, Guy knows how to deal with these types. A complete lack of engagement and refusal to in any way feed into Vox's ego will do devastating emotional damage.

Vox ends up returning him and retreating to scrape together what's left of his pride.

Anonymous asked:

Alastor ironically having the best understanding of mental health of the entire hotel because of needing to help Guy through the horrible psychological damage he experienced (inhumane confinement can cause symptoms of schizophrenia + PTSD + Guy's physical illness).

Does Alastor know any mental health terminology whatsoever? No. Could he put this knowledge into words and teach others how to do it? Not really. Would he use that knowledge to help anyone outside his close circle? Absolutely not. But he does have the knowledge and can use it, Charlie just has to figure out how to get the key to her entire hotel plan out of him.

@kitsunesongs asked:

So I was wondering why Guy took so long to start trying to get Alastor into heaven, and came across the ask where he was actually investigating hell cause he thought something was off about Sera and Adam - and what if the moment he got into hell, he was hit by memories of his old friend.

Who he had forgotten, while in Heaven, because Heaven makes Winners forget their loved ones who are Sinners.

Anonymous asked:

What if Guy was investigating Vox’s cult before his death? Making a cult takes time, so Vox’s cult was probably established sometime in the 30s if he was dead by the 50s. We didn’t decide how long after Alastor’s death does Guy lose the battle with his illness, but he would have to keep working until he drops dead because his roommate who could take care of him is dead and American workforce/healthcare are just like that. He used all his time off  for the rest of his life being a kidnapped prisoner. He needs to work and knows he is on limited time, so what the hell else is he going to do besides investigate a cult? 

Vox thinks he won when the detective on his ass dies from illness and didn’t think of him after that. He then got punched in the face by the realization his rival Alastor is the dead best friend of his other rival the detective—a detective who happens to be a walking cockblock. Now they are teaming up on him in the afterlife. 

Anonymous asked:

What kinds of powers would Guy have? He would probably have some mold-based powers like Alastor because of their connection to it (like that one ask said less than Alastor because Guy got the cure and died from post-exposure) but Alastor also has radio powers directly tied into his human life. Wouldn't Guy have his own personal magic?

[mr-damian-s-power]

I think it’s genuinely disgusting the amount of disrespect Camila gets both from the fandom and the show.

All scenes of her expressing her love for Cosmic Frontier was scrapped, she constantly has to deal with a selfish brat for a daughter (WHO NEVER APOLOGIZES TO HER FOR EVERYTHING SHE DID BTW), and a good number of fans not only see her as a bad abusive mother, but also think Eda is a BETTER mom to Luz! And even the show tries to push this narrative even though Camila has NEVER been a bad mom ever.

Bro, don't even get me started on the way Camila is treated! (Well, you have anyway, so here we go!) When I see people calling her a 'bad parent', or in some cases, 'abusive', I just feel like my brain's crapped out. Did we watch the same show?

Let's see who Camila is! She's a widower trying to live with her hyperactive and unruly daughter. When her daughter's unacceptable behaviour gets too much, she arranges to have her spend the summer at a camp that should help give her a big reality check and teach her to be a functioning member or society.

How is that abusive? Some people can only dream of having a mother who cares like that.

What kinda soft meek parents did these people have? She is a woman who is doing her best! If anything, after Luz set snakes loose on her school, she's lucky nobody got the police involved (but that's another can of worms for how Luz's introduction is terrible for a character we're meant to feel sorry for). When these people act like Camila is anywhere on Odalia's level, or even worse, I just wanna reach through my screen and give them a good smack.

And that about Eda, I'll just say this! Eda is the Mum that Luz WANTS! An enabler! Someone who will just let her do whatever. Camila is the Mum that Luz NEEDS! Someone who will put their foot down and say 'no'.

Then, when Camila is finally putting her foot down, her daughter runs away and gets replaced by a shape-shifting Demon who lives with her for months. Then, she finds out her daughter picked these people she's known for like a few weeks over her just because they enable her. Gotta be brutally honest, selfish is an understatement.

Then, if I'm correct, she apologises to Luz for saying she'll send her to the camp. NO CAMILA! Don't compromise like that! That just validates Luz into believing that YOU were in the wrong there.

Tl;Dr Camila is the furthest thing from a bad parent as you can get, but the show and fandom paints her as bad because she dared to tell Luz 'no' and actually tried to be a responsible adult.

[chaifootsteps]

so there's a page on tv tropes called WMG (wild mass guessing) for fan theories and I just wanted to share one about Striker

Striker will eventually meet one of the nicer higher-ups. With Striker maintaining that every royal in Hell is a stuck up elitist who doesn't care about those under them, having him be forced to send time around one of the nicer royals such as Bee or Ozzie is a plot that seems ripe for potential, as it could possibly him up for a redemption or cause him to sink deeper into insanity as he either deludes himself into believing that said royal is just putting up an act and could never really care or cause him to realize that, by stereotyping Hell's royals, he's not any better then the royals he loathes.

Gotta be honest, while this could totally happen in the show this kind of reading is kind of annoying to me?

Like the stuff that jumps out to me - "set him up for a redemption". Framing it this way is an admission that criticizing royalty is a villainous trait Striker needs rid of in order to be considered a good guy. Which the show itself endorses - IMP flip flop between admitting they need Stolas as a meal ticket and bootlicking constantly for him, so they're 'good' assassins where people like Striker are 'bad' assassins (even though they're doing the exact same job - taking paid hits)

'By stereotyping Hell's royals, he's not any better than the royals he loathes' - um, the problem Striker has with royalty is not that they 'stereotype' imps and that's it. His problems with royals is that they have an unfair amount of wealth and power that they can use to do whatever they want to whoever they want and imps are an underclass who live in poverty and are treated like servants and objects by them.

Striker can stereotype every royal in Hell as unfairly as he wants and it still wouldn't make him 'worse' than someone like Stolas, who can coerce Blitzo into sex and then act like they had a relationship instead of what it really was: him raping an imp every month. That's the whole point - if he wanted to be worse he wouldn't have half the opportunity to do so or half the means and social capital to get away with it that royals do. That 'nice' royals like Bee and Ozzie exist doesn't change this (and even Ozzie threatens to hurt his employees if they tell about him and Fizz)

This is just the 'reverse racism' argument repurposed - if someone who has faced systemic racism and institutional discrimination from every system meant to support them (schools, police, hospitals) then they're immediately 'just as bad' as the powerful people furthering all that if they dare to criticize it

And that's the entire problem. Even if Striker did come to like Bee or Ozzie and see #NotAllRoyals that wouldn't change the system that underpins Hell's society fundamentally disadvantages imps. He isn't wrong just because Bee and Ozzie exist - if anything, if they were so nice they'd be doing more to dismantle the hierarchy instead of passively benefiting from it! Ffs, the show goes out of its way to say that just starting a business is unusual for imps because all they're expecting to do is working class menial labor!

If Viv is remembered for just one thing, it should be the fact that she got a punch of self-proclaimed Twitter progressives with social justice flags in their bios to argue with their full chests that some rich people are nice and good actually, and it's the disadvantaged poor workers' fault for not appreciating them enough.

I'm referring to Striker and to her own whistleblowers.

[the-marshals-wife]

Rookie Jitters (Wolf Jackson x Reader)

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ⋅☆⋅ 𝐀𝐎𝟑 ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

A/N: Happy Halloween! 🎃 Besties, I didn't even plan this one ahead of time. I watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice for the third time, and the inspiration struck. This one's for the Willem Dafoe girlies. You always keep it real. ;)

Description: Wolf Jackson x Fem!Reader, meet-cute fluff with a light sprinkling of angst | Warnings: death mentioned many times (nothing graphic, mostly humorous), guns mentioned, canon-typical creepiness of the Neitherworld | Setting: post Beetlejuice Beetlejuice | Word count: 2,266

Imagine being Wolf Jackson's new secretary, and being nervous to meet him

If your heart could still beat, it would have stopped. You stare at the yellowed paper in your hand that detailed your new job description, and your eyes lock on the name of your boss.

"I'm working for Wolf Jackson? The Wolf Jackson?!" you gape.

The poorly mummified woman across the desk doesn't look up from her clipboard. She slides a folder towards you, and you resist the urge to recoil at her half-decayed arm.

"I don't know who that is. I just hand out the forms. All the details will be in your file," she replies placidly. "Says here you're being assigned to the Afterlife Crimes Unit."

"Crimes Unit? I think there's been some sort of mistake. I'm not in law enforcement."

"Look lady, whatever the paper says, that's where you gotta go. I don't make the rules," she dismisses, pointing with her boney finger, "You go out that door, down the hall, third door on the left, down the stairs, and take the second right. Big doors, you can't miss it. If you wind up in Lost and Found, you went too far."

You nod, trying to absorb the directions as your head swam with new information.

"Could...you maybe write it down for me?" you ask.

The clerk looks over her glasses at you in silence.

You smile nervously, rising from your seat, "Nevermind. I'm sure I'll find it."

Hurriedly gathering up all your paperwork into your arms, you make your exit from the office before the woman's glare could kill you a second time.

While you navigate the dim, winding passages, your thoughts return your destination, and who you might find waiting there. Was your new boss actually Wolf Jackson? Frank Hardballer himself? You seriously consider pinching yourself.

'Figures,' you think, 'I had to die to have the best day of my life.'

After what felt like an eternity of walking through the most otherworldly funhouse imaginable, you take the second right and lay eyes on the big doors. As you read 'Police Precinct 515' painted in black letters above them, the knots in your stomach multiply.

"This must be it," you sigh, clutching the papers to your chest.

You swallow hard, gather the remains of your courage, and walk inside the station with your head held as high as you can manage.

The officer behind the front desk looks up immediately. "Can I help you, miss?"

"Uh, yes. I'm looking for the Afterlife Crimes Unit?" you answer, approaching the intimidatingly tall bench.

"They send you from Orientation?"

His friendly demeanor catches you off guard.

"I think so," you answer, peering up at him, "To be honest, they haven't told me much since I got here. Just one person after another shoving papers at me."

Despite feeling like you'd already been here for a lifetime, you still weren't used to being among so many dead people. It didn't even seem real yet that you were one of them, although that was certain to come with time. The officer's skin is almost the same shade of blue as his uniform, and his features are unnervingly sunken in, but cadaverous countenance aside, he has a kind look that puts you somewhat at ease.

"Things can be pretty nuts around here, but you'll get used to it," he smiles, standing up straight, "You must be the new secretary for the ACU. Last one caught the Soul Train this mornin'. I feel for Jackson, though. I don't think she had the heart to tell him."

"You mean he doesn't know?" you ask.

The officer winces. "I guess you'll find out. It's just down the hall there, first door on the right."

You refrain from rolling your eyes at more verbal directions, just grateful to have spoken to someone pleasant.

"Thank you," you say, glancing down at your heels, "I'm starting to think I should have died in more comfortable shoes."

The officer chuckles. "Good luck to you, miss."

Your focus shifts from the throbbing in your ankles to shaking in your limbs as your nerves return full force. It didn't seem fair that you could still have anxiety in the afterlife, but it would take more than the cold hands of death to calm you in this moment.

As you reach the door and grab the handle, you hear a muffled voice from the other side.

You tread lightly into the room and carefully close the door behind you, not wanting to intrude. Through the cracked blinds, you see a figure pacing frantically in the office ahead of you.

"This is unreal," the man laments, "Where could she be?"

You freeze in your steps, recognition washing over you. You would know the voice of Frank Hardballer anywhere. There wasn't a single Saturday night in your father's house that you hadn't heard it blaring from the television set, accompanied by all the gunfire and explosions required of a true blue, B-grade cop film. It was really him.

Steeling yourself, you walk towards doorway. The clicking of your heels on the vinyl floor announces your presence, and you utter a prayer not to trip over your blistered feet.

"Janet?" you hear him call out as you step into view.

There he is. Leaning over his desk, concern written all over his face, Wolf Jackson stares back at you.

The grim reaper himself couldn't steal your excitement away.

You open your mouth, and a mess of words comes out. "Um, excuse me, sir? A-are...I'm, uh-"

He waves you away, cutting off your stammering. "I'm sorry, miss. You'll have to come back another time. My secretary's up and disappeared. I gotta start a missing persons report."

"Um, about that, sir" you begin, clinging to your paperwork as he riffles through a pile of folders, "I believe I'm your new secretary."

He stops and looks back at you, visibly stunned. "What happened to Janet?"

"I think the person I'm replacing got on the Soul Train this morning," you hesitate, unsure what that even was. "I'm sorry, that's all I know."

"I didn't know her time was up," he says, bewildered, "She never told me."

His confused expression turns somber as he puts his hands in his pockets and walks over to the nearest window. "She didn't even say goodbye," he continues, sighing heavily, "But that's the way things go in this crazy world of ours. Here one minute, gone the next."

A long pause follows as you stand motionless in the doorway, suddenly feeling like you're intruding on a private moment.

"Here's looking at you, kid," he declares, proceeding to turn swiftly on his heel. Every trace of sadness was gone, replaced with a smile. "Where are my manners? Come in, come in."

Your stomach is teeming with butterflies as you officially enter the room. He eagerly goes to meet you, hand extended.

"Wolf Jackson, Afterlife Crimes Unit," he introduces.

You shake his hand, trying desperately to keep your composure.

"I'm Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," you grin.

"The pleasure is all mine, Y/N," he says "It's not every day you get to meet a new face down here. Least of all one as wonderfully intact as yours."

You could sense the compliment in his unusual words. Thankfully, it didn't seem the dead could blush, because your cheeks would surely be betraying you now. Finally standing before him, you're unable to conceal your admiration any longer.

"I can't believe I'm actually getting to meet you, sir. I am such a big fan."

His eyes light up instantly. "You don't say!"

"It's true! My dad and I used to watch your movies all the time. We absolutely loved them," you beam, heart swelling.

Wolf appears as thrilled to hear your words as you are to say them. "Don't that beat all. It's been so long since I've gotten to talk to someone who knows my work," he marvels.

"I think know every line of every Frank Hardballer movie by heart. I've seen them all more times than I can count." Your starstruck smile fades a little as you speak again, "We were devastated when we heard about your accident. That day was one of the only times I ever saw my dad cry."

"Well, I bet he'd be pretty jazzed to see you now," he offers, rushing to clarify, "Not being dead, of course. But you know, working for me...with me. Working with me."

You stifle a laugh as he fumbles his words.

"I know what you meant, sir. You're right. He would be over the moon."

Somehow, this surreal moment was the least strange thing to happen to you so far. One of your biggest idols was just as excited to meet you as you were to meet him. His injuries were not as bad as you'd expected either. The way the media had made it sound all those years ago, you thought for sure he'd been blown to smithereens. Not only was he just as handsome in person, but his presence felt familiar. You could sense your worry fading away, and for the first time since you'd arrived in this unsettling place, you felt safe.

"At any rate, the first day down here is always the hardest," he remarks, "Here, rest for a minute. Put down all that nonsense you're carrying. If you've got questions, I'll tell you what you want to know. You're not gonna find any straight answers in those ridiculous 'onboarding' pamphlets."

He motions to the empty chair by the window nearest his desk, and you're happy to oblige, your arms well-past the point of cramping.

"Thank you, sir." You take the seat and set the papers aside.

Wolf steps over to the front of his desk and leans his weight on it, shaking his head in apparent amusement.

"So formal," he chuckles, "Enough with this 'sir' business. Just call me Wolf."

"Really?" you question, wide-eyed, "I mean, you're still my boss, aren't you?"

"Death makes equals of us all," he states candidly, "But, if you'd prefer, Mr. Jackson works just fine too."

Despite having his permission, it felt unnatural to use his first name. Not yet, anyway. "You're the boss, Mr. Jackson."

He nods in approval. "That'll do." His gaze falls to the floor a moment before he talks again, "Speaking of death...how is it you came to be here, Y/N? If you don't mind me asking, that is. Although I didn't exactly have the luxury of discretion myself, discussing it can be personal for some people, and I respect that."

"I don't mind," you begin, frowning as you recall your own demise, "It all happened so fast, honestly. One minute I was walking home with my best friend from her birthday dinner, and then out of nowhere this big guy with a gun jumps out from behind a truck and starts yelling at us to hand over everything we have. I don't know what I was thinking. I just...reacted."

You pause as the vivid memory flashes through your mind.

"I threw my bag at his face and tried to get the gun away from him. It fell to the ground, and I just remember jumping on his back and screaming at my friend to run. It was stupid, I know. I just didn't want her to get killed. She's like family to me," you explain solemnly, finally looking up and meeting Wolf's intent gaze, "The last thing I remember was the guy throwing me into a wall. I guess I hit it pretty hard, because everything went black. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in the DMV from hell. Nothing but waiting in lines and filing out a thousand forms that I don't understand."

Wolf snickers at your description, and you follow suit before going on.

"I know at least some of them were about job placement, because that's how I got sent here. And there you have it. That's my story. Not exactly Hollywood worthy," you declare with a shrug.

"Are you kidding? That was an incredibly brave thing you did," he insists.

"Thank you," you reply, smiling unconvincingly.

"I mean it. That took guts," he says, shaking his fist in affirmation, "I play the hero. But what you did for your friend? That's what real heroes do."

You could see in his eyes that he meant every word. Even without a pulse, you could swear you felt your heart pounding.

"Well, if I've learned anything from Frank Hardballer, you gotta keep it real."

Wolf claps his hands together and jumps up, grinning ear to ear. "Now that's what I like to hear!"

You can't help but laugh at his enthusiasm.

"What do you say to a little scenery? How about I give you a tour of the station, introduce you to some of the boys around here, and we'll get you all settled," he suggests, already leading the way.

"That sounds great," you answer, standing up to follow, "But while I'm keeping it real, Mr. Jackson, I have to tell you that I don't have any experience being a secretary. Undead or otherwise," you admit.

He stops in the doorway and turns back, giving you a sly look, "And I don't have any experience being a cop."

"That's true," you concede, "but I'm not an accomplished actor like you."

The notion gives him pause for only a moment.

"Well, can you make a cup of coffee?"

You chuckle, "I think I can manage that."

A smirk of satisfaction spreads across his face.

"Honey, you're gonna do just fine."

[lily-alphonse]

Hello!

I haven't seen many Harvey asks...? Just in case, here's another.

Harvey and Haley.

🤔

Pretty rare... perhaps?

Thank you! Have a lovely day!

Hello! What a sweet ask ♥️

I just had an idea for this one today!

I accidentally misread the description of a fanfic and saw 'detective' Haley instead of 'dejected' Haley, and my mind went zoooooooom. I need detective Haley.

SO. Sorry but its gonna be another AU but hear me out it would be awesome.

We're going full film noire! It's a detective drama! Our favorite Mr. Pringles-mustachio'd man would be a private investigator. He's still a bit awkward and clumsy, we aren't making him suave. He works mostly on financial crimes, pencil-pushing stuff. He leaves the more dangerous stuff to his partner, Shane.

I imagined a snippet between them already so I'm just gonna yeet that here

"That stuff will kill you one of these days," Harvey mumbled over his paperwork, the smoke from Shane's cigar making it difficult to concentrate. "Eh. Something's gotta. And how about you go back to med school if you're gonna lecture?"

Anyway Shane goes MISSING. Harvey calls the police as he should, but they almost seem happy about his disappearance. Shane was quite famous, or infamous rather, for getting in the way of their investigations. Always seemed to show up where he wasn't wanted.

Harvey is going to have to do some real investigating. Get his hands dirty for once.

His investigations lead him to cross paths with Haley. A damn bombshell of a woman, and a bit of a distraction, if he's honest.

But PLOT TWIST, there's a reason she keeps happening to show up over the course of his investigations.

Unbeknownst to Harvey, she's been his rival for years. She's the most private type of investigator there is. Takes every pain to keep her identity a secret, moves like a ghost and weaponizes her womanhood.

But Harvey is smart. He figures it out in a climactic scene where he accuses her of having something to do with Shane's disappearance.

Haley for her part was actually starting to feel for the man. He is sweet and earnest and smart and not at all the kind of man she is used to in this business. She swears she had nothing to do with it and only wants to help.

But can she be trusted?

eeeeeeeeeeeeee this one is getting me really hyped actually lol

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[a-libra-writes]

Lol I love your Lackadaisy reader insert 😩

I'm actually glad they animated it ..so can you write a romantic headcanon for Victor I love big beefy men ..👁️👄👁️

I kidda like if the reader is like a famous model and him a over protective male wife

I hope this make sense thou tell me what you think..

I love your works and have a good day/or night (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)

lol so i really cant see viktor as like, a "malewife" as hes p traditional and rough around the edges but this made me think of some HCs with him and a married reader so here ya go!! It kinda got away from me.

Femme reader ahead!

--

Regardless of how you met Viktor -- perhaps you were both from the old country and came to America together, or you're a fellow immigrant he found common ground with once he arrived, or an American girl who actually bothered to talk to him -- eventually, you two married. You were a pretty girl and he actually had trouble talking to you the first few times. Viktor was quiet, but sweet, honest and reliable.

You and him only got a few years of married life before the draft came.

He wanted to do it, hoping it would bring some kind of opportunity for you both. At least the pay was better, as most employers felt a Slav was only good for dumb labor and low wages.

When he came back, he was Viktor, but not the one you married. Not quite.

The job at the docks was one he'd been able to stick to for some time, though you know he disliked it. He worked for your sake, so you wouldn't have to pull such long hours yourself. He did many things for your sake, silently and without complaint. He didn't used to be this quiet.

You didn't hear about the terrible riot, or his involvement. You just knew he never came home, and then some neighbor said he was arrested. Then - there was some lawyer? Some man named Atlas May? It happened so quickly. No one at the police station would help, as expected. But then that man, that Atlas May, drove up to your modest little apartment and explained in his polite, calm voice. There was no need to worry. He has a new job, and you'll be much provided for. He wouldn't tell you why Viktor was in jail or what this new job was.

Viktor had to move to a different part of St. Louis for this job. He didn't even tell you in person, he wrote about it, saying he'll send money and you shouldn't worry about him. If anything, you should move somewhere nicer and not think of him.

Obviously you crumpled that letter up and figured out where the hell he's gone off to. Once you find the Little Daisy, you look around and see your big husband in the garage. You immediately rattle off at him. WHAT does he mean by this and what happened to his eye and WHO is this man who paid for the lawyer and if Viktor thinks he can just upend your lives and not TALK to you--

Your language or his, he gets the point. The whole building probably heard you.

So, you find employment in the Little Daisy. The pay is generous; you wonder if Atlas is either placating you or feels bad for the whole mess. Maybe both, but it's much easier than the work you did before. And his wife Mitzi is friendly - you think she likes having female company for once. In spite of her fancy clothes and talk, she's quite down to earth.

Even if you don't mind working the cafe, Viktor feels a great deal of guilt for "involving" you in the business. Well, it is what it is. It's not so bad, on the quiet days. Sometimes he's home in the evening with you, sometimes he's out all night and gets in as you're getting ready for work. You'll share a kiss and give him a long, long hug before sending him to bed with no questions.

If he's wounded, Viktor doesn't like coming home. He'll stay at the speakeasy and get it fixed there, and recover there if need be, until you drag him back home. You are not above cornering Mordecai, dangling a rat by the tail and making him spill what Viktor got into.

"You wouldn't - I just cleaned this room, do you realize how quickly those vermin breed--" "Ohh, I would, and I'll get more until you tell me where he's laid up!"

Actually, you have kind of a weird friendship with Mordecai, like Viktor does. You know the surly cat keeps your husband safe and has saved his life before. When you tuck away some sandwiches and a thermos of coffee for your husband, you start adding some extra food and a thermos of tea for Mordecai, too. He doesn't say anything to you directly, but returns the clean thermoses and cups to Viktor. And comments it's nice to know someone around here can make a proper cup of tea.

If you know Slovak, that tends to be what you and Viktor speak to each other, even in front of others. Otherwise you two have a weird half-English half-Slovak and whatever else that most people only get every other word of. He finds your accent very charming, and kinda prefers that people don't know what you two are saying. It's more private that way.

If he's around, he likes to join you on your lunch break and yall get a nice moment alone. You snuggle up and lean on him and he quietly enjoys the affection. He growls at anyone who comes in and tries to interrupt Wife Time (tm). If he doesn't have something to do immediately, Viktor likes keeping you company while you cook up the food and work the register though he kinda scares the customers.

He REALLY doesn't like the idea of you working down in the Speakeasy, you're a pretty girl, and that's a rowdy crowd. Even with all their money, the men are the same. The few times you've had to go down for something or to help out, it only takes ten minutes before some Mister Whoever stops you and says you ought to be in magazines and the pictures. If Mordecai spots the altercation early, he beelines over to deal with it - because otherwise Viktor will come by, and his way of dealing with it is picking men up by their necks and all but full-body throwing them up the stairs. Atlas doesn't complain - it keeps the other patrons in line. Mordecai just doesn't want to deal with the mess.

(Sometimes it's just some harmless drunk whose clearly confused you for a different girl and you still have to pull Viktor away. "Dear, please, no one should get their teeth knocked out for a misunderstanding ...")

More than once Mitzi has taken you shopping and dressed you up. If it's a special occassion - New Year's is a big one for Lackdaisy - you should go all out! She makes sure your hair is done and lends you some jewelry, and floats the idea of you getting Viktor in a tuxedo. It would never happen, of course, but she'll try.

Yes, it isn't so bad to be here - the violence is frightening, but Viktor always makes it home back to you. Maybe just another year or two of saving and you both can find a nice house in the country.

[whatyourusherthinks]

Venom: The Last Dance Review

Venom hehehe.... Ahem. Venom: The hahahaha... Sorry, sorry. Ahem hem! Venom: The Last Dance BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ROAN! *Clap Clap* Get it together! My bad. I've seen the first Venom and it was bad. I didn't watch Venom: Let There Be Carnage for the same reason I didn't watch Deadpool 2. Because it seemed like the studio was queerbating. Regardless, I was curious about this one because the marketing was kinda insane. In the teaser trailer, every shot looked like it was from a different movie. The actually trailer made it seem it's a King in Black adaptation. And that comic is fucking stupid. PERFECT FOR SONY!

What's The Movie About?

After getting drunk in the end credit scene of Spiderman: No Way Home, Eddie and Venom need to get to New York for some reason and the fed are chasing them down because the god Null is sending bug wood chippers to find a MacGuffin.

What I Didn't Like.

Hold the phone... I have a reason for this Buggnutz, just wait. Venom 3, much like every live action Sony Spiderman movies since 2004, is terrible. At least in the objective construction sense. The individual plots are fiiiiine but they way they are structured together and paced once again leads credence to my theory that all the editors Sony hires are drug addicts. The individual scene writing sucks. Every intentional joke fails, but I was still laughing plenty at unintentional comedy. The stakes of the plot are incredibly random. Basically Eddie and Venom are trying to get to New York City because the San Francisco police thinks they killed the detective from the last movie (The one Carnage killed), but they don't get chased by the police. They get chased by soldiers from Area 55 because the detective is actually alive! He was bonded to a cyan symbiote (Who I can't lie, looked pretty cool actually) and told the government about Null. Null is looking for Venom and Eddie because Eddie died in the first movie and Venom saved him by bonding together and I bet you just noticed the plot hole. Yeah, why is Venom and Eddie the only one with the MacGuffin if the detective died and Cyan bonded with him to save him? Also, considering there's like 10 new symbiotes that all look awesome, these new monsters, a hippy family, and Area 51 getting destroyed all happening in the movie, the events of the movie are shockingly low key. It feels like nothing major happens in the movie. EVEN THOUGH THE MAIN CHARACTER DIES. Spoiler. They're literally marketing the movie based on that fact fuck off Buggnutz. Mercifully, Null is barely in the movie, but honestly I'm wondering why he wasn't just cut out entirely. With the exception of sending the bug wood-chippers, all he does is stare at the floor. And this movie has the worst end credit scenes ever. One is Null, boo, promising revenge except the line is something about how his champion is dead so it doesn't even make any sense. And the second is a comedy scene? Except I don't know what the joke is supposed to be?

What I Like.

But here's the thing. I actually like this movie. What?! Yeah. I actually like this movie more than Deadpool and Wolverine. WHAT?! HOW? Well, to be honest, they are kinda similar with the intent of the creator. As in, both these movies were clearly made with fans in mind. But Venom 3 feels like it was made by a fan of the Venom movies, and D&W feels like it was made by someone who reads a lot of fan forums. The Last Dance is goofy, it indulges in weird ideas, not everything lands but it has charm in a puppy-stuck-outside-during-a-rainstorm kind of way. D&W feels like it's expecting massive overpraise for doing the bare minimum. I'm not gonna suck you off because you threw away your garbage in the trash can instead of the floor! Uh... What does this have to do with Venom: The Last Dance? Nothing, sorry. I like the bug wood chippers. They have actual names but I forgot what they are. The way they attack is cool even if it makes no sense that they can jump around all over buildings and no one can notice. The effects are probably bad, but I liked the monster designs of both the bug wood-chippers and the symbiotes that appear in the movie. They are fun colors and have different body shapes and stuff, it's fun! Unlike a lot of Sony-man movies, the don't miss any opportunities. When the feds start melting the military hardware that was left behind in Area 51, or reveal that they have those several symbiotes hidden away in Area 55, you can see where they were going with it but there was a small niggle in the back of my head that the movie was going to not do the obvious thing. Because these movies are made by incompetent chunderheads. But these heads have less chunder than usual, since I did get exactly the climax I was expecting, even if the cinematography and editing sometimes made it incomprehensible. I like the music. It's ridiculous choices but again I had fun with them. Of course I want to see Venom and Mrs. Chen dance to an ABBA remix. And I had a fun time yelling all the Venom animals over the credits.

Final Summation.

Thank Sobol that Venom: The Last Dance doesn't kill off Eddie Brock, because I do not want to put movie as my best of the year. You were actually gonna do that? Yeah well, I made a promise. Here's my 50 cent reduction of this entire review: This movie is great when you have no expectations. If you go in expecting a well made film, you will hate it. If you go in knowing it will be terrible, you will have a good time. This makes it perfect fodder to be a Recojected Movie! (Yeah, bet you thought I forgot about that, huh?)

[barleyo]

Personally,i dont like incest, i think its disgusting..

BUT! This is not a hate message! I dont know why people send you death threats.Again,incest in disturbing amd should not be encouraged but does it really make a difference if you tell somebody to kill themselves? I checked one of ur ficts out of curiosity,and you actually write really good and detailed!!! >-< Maybe,in the future,you could consider writing fluff or angst too!!

Just a little tip (heh.Tip…😏) (omfg what was that ignore it💀💀) maybe you could try writing your work in your notes app,as detailed as you want and maybe a little less…hm..detailed in the terms of writing the smutty scenes? I know you said that ur blog is strictly for adults,but,come on,minors are still going to click,lets be honest,when you were a teen,you ve NEEEEEEVER entered that “forbidden” site and said you are 18+? (I did😐✌🏻) Of course,im just saying that so the teen reading your work dont have fake expectations of real people and such..God,i wish you could set your profile to 18+ and to access the profile you needed an ID or something,so your account was actually minor-free!

Anyways! Please dont consider this a hate message because its anything but that,its just a gentle message! ^^

Have a nice day!!🤍🤍

i get where you're coming from with this message and i can tell that you're trying to be nice, but in no world am i ever going to police myself and tone down my writing for other people's comfort. I'm going to continue to write everything i want as detailed as i like, because it's fictional and anyone reading my work should understand that it's realistic. i make it extremely clear that minors should not be on my page, so if they go against my ample warning and get the wrong idea from my writing, that's their own problem. i'm not their mother, or their guardian, and i'm not responsible for their media consumption in any way.

i really appreciate your compliments on my work, and i'm not trying to be petty or argumentative in this response, because i'm not that type of person. however, i should never, nor should anyone else, have to minimize their creative work for the comfort of others when ignoring it is so easy. that's not my job, and i refuse to hinder myself and my creativity! that's not a fair request.

thank you for sending in this ask, have a great day!!! :3 <3

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Hello dear, that's so sweet of you to send this to me!

I admit, I did one of these just a week or so ago, so I was tempted to just let you know that. However, I realized upon reflection that I had only focused on my 9-1-1 fics, and I have written in other fandoms.

And so here we are! The five non-9-1-1 fics that I would say are my favorites, across five different fandoms.

Richie Tozier: Small Town Trash

Richie Tozier debuts his new routine after vanishing from the comedy scene.

To be honest, I think I could do this fic better five years later, but this was the time I sat down and, in spite of the fact that I was convinced I wasn't funny, wrote a stand up comedy routine (with some Easter eggs from actual comedy routines because I couldn't resist).

People actually thought this fic was funny, and enjoyed it, and this was the moment I realized that I might actually be able to pull off humor. So while I think I'm a lot better at it now, we all have to start somewhere, and I started here.

Defiance & Destiny

When Geralt of Rivia returns to England after a prolonged absence, he and Jaskier, an aspiring bard, are forced to confront the pride and prejudice that flung them apart. Meanwhile, Lady Yennefer of Vengerberg is beginning to wonder if there is more to life than being handsome, clever, and rich.

This is I think my least-popular Witcher fic, because it's very long and also has no smut, but I'm really genuinely proud of it. I have a great love for Jane Austen and worked hard to try and capture the tone and feel of her work while juggling a mashup of three different novel plots. It also puts Yennifer/Tissaia in the spotlight, a ship I love but sadly have written like, nothing for. Shame on me.

Confidence Trick

When police officer Wyatt Logan is tapped to go undercover and get information on the notorious Lucy Preston and Garcia Flynn, he expects it’ll be his toughest assignment yet. What he doesn’t expect is to fall for his marks—and the fallout that comes with it.

One of those rare fics where the inspiration and writing just flowed and the stars aligned. It's I think my best fic in this fandom, although there are a couple others that I think come close such as could twist the sinews of thy heart? and Are You Strong Enough to Stand. It's just really lovely when you feel that the fic you wrote on the page is as good as the one you pictured in your head.

Also I'm still really damn proud of the plot twist at the end. Heheheheheheh.

Untranslatable Shadows

There's only one thing worse than having to make your way through a booby-trapped dungeon, and that's making your way through a booby-trapped dungeon with Xenk Yendar. Unfortunately, that's exactly what Ed has to do to save the soul of his best friend. And extra unfortunately... Xenk might not even be the worst part of this whole thing. Nobody tell him.

I really like all of my Xedgin fics. I'm quite fond of this little ship and yes I swear I will finish the last one! I pinky promise! It was hard to choose just one of them since I actually feel they're all pretty equal in quality which is rare for me, but I ended up going with this one because I'm quite proud of how I adapted the infamous "Tomb of Horrors" dungeon for the fic. It was a lot of work going through the dungeon and deciding what to keep or remove and how to use it to support the character arcs and story, but it was also very fun and rewarding.

My Blood Will Feed Your Flowers (Your Flowers Will Soothe My Blood)

At the start of the new school year a horrifying development rattles both Enid and Wednesday and threatens big changes in their relationship. Oh and there's a serial killer running around too. Huh. Someone should probably do something about that.

Another T rated fic and another one starring some femslash! It's a miracle! This fic was a gift to a friend and was a very fun challenge for me. Writing teenagers is hard, guys. I also had to balance the horror and the humor of the TV series to nail the tone, and I tried hard to write this as if it was the second season of the show and so worked within those limitations. I like to think I succeeded, and I'm very fond of the result.

So there you have it! Five fics that might be a bit off the beaten path so to speak for most of my readers, but of which I am very fond. Thank you again for tagging me!

[mrhaitch]

Hihi! This is my first ever ask for you, and I’m quite nervous actually, (I was when I was sending one to Haitch too, I kinda look up to both of you in more ways than one and both of your writing makes my brain tingle✨)

So, my question is more along the lines of seeking your opinion as I feel, you might be the best person who can answer this. (Haitch is welcome to answer it too…I will def appreciate it)

So, being a straight-A student all my life, I made the people around me surprised and kinda miffed when I announced that I wanted a degree in English literature, when any college possible was readily accepting me for any degree in science (which the people around me were subtly nudging me towards. I mean I’m an Asian..it’s a given that they expected me to inevitably go for the most obvious choice)

After six years of grueling and being told over and over that my career has no fruitful future in my country, and an undergrad degree later, I am just a year away from completing and getting a masters degree in English literature. And the self doubt is finally setting in. There are moments where I feel like is it even worth it? Because my end goal is to become a professor.

And I know that it’s gonna be a mediocre pay—which is not the source of my worries, honestly I love literature too much to care—the thing that worries me is, the amount of time it’s gonna take to reach the said end goal.

See, in my country, you gotta clear a national level competitive exam to get a chance to even be an assistant professor in any university. The pass rate is low so to speak. And then I gotta start my PhD. So the thing that scares me is, what If after so much toiling and feeling like I’ve been doing nothing but study, for the entirety of my life, what if I end up actually hating the thing I love?

I just can’t help but feel a bit lost, and I’m scared about losing face in front of the people I stood up against. So as a person who has been a professor—of English literature no less— I need you to lay it straight to me.

Is it worth it? Should I keep going? Because to be honest, keeping my worries aside, I have been eagerly looking forward to that little me I envisioned doing something I love.

Because all this endless studying (I’ve also been trying to learn French since the last 4 years) is giving me a little burnout.

Okay. First things first, take a deep breath as it sounds like you're putting yourself under a lot of pressure so take a moment.

Academia is highly demanding, competitive, undervalued, and underpaid as career paths go. Much of the work you'll do (research, applying for grants, etc) will be unpaid and you'll do it for the love of it, and because it's the only way to secure and keep your job. I'm still very early in my career - I taught for two years and still haven't secured a permanent post as my publishing record still isn't to the required standard. It's likely that I'll be spending the next two to five years undertaking unpaid research, pursuing publications, and attending conferences in my own time and with my own money - all with the hope it'll get me a permanent position.

It still might not.

Even if I do succeed what awaits me is an ever dwindling pension rate, the promise of grotesque levels of overwork and an ever diversifying workload where academics are being required to take on more and more administrative tasks, ON TOP of their research, teaching, and pastoral responsibilities.

And no one will thank me - in the UK academics are heavily criticised by the press and the public at large.

But I'll still do it, I'll still chase it.

The main question is why? (Or as I had to say in terrible workshops I was forced to run in my previous job: 'what's your why?')

Academia is like healthcare, or policing, or social work, or any traditional vocational role: you tend to already know if it's what you want, and what you're going to push yourself beyond all reason to get to. You know it's hard, and unpleasant, and thankless, but part of you doesn't care - you'll likely do it anyway.

Burn out is a risk, as it is with any demanding career paths. You'll likely have many moments where you'll want to quit, or take up sewing, or anything at all that isn't what you're currently doing. There'll also be moments where it all feels worth it - looking out across a classroom and seeing a student fully understand what you're saying, that they get it; or having colleagues read your work and engage with it like it's a valuable contribution; or speaking in front of an engaged audience who value and appreciate what you're doing.

I have no definitive answers for you. I don't know your situation, I don't know your country or what the academic culture is there - I can only speak from my own experiences and from what I know.

What I can say is this: if this is what you want, truly and deeply, then go in with both eyes open. Never forget the challenges or the problems, never let yourself be lulled into a fantasy: know what you're doing and your reasons for doing it. Do it because you love it, because you'll need that love. Do it because you have something to say, something to put out into the world because that will be the thing that keeps you going when it's hard.

If this is what you want, be prepared to fail and fail often. Be prepared to be frustrated, and for people to suggest you quit and try something else (they mean well, mostly).

But also be prepared to be utterly smitten with and moved by your work, by your students, by that feeling of contributing to the ever deepening well of human knowledge. It's beautiful, it's bad, but it's beautiful.

[lesbianfakir]

"#if anyone cares send me an ask id love to ramble about my issues with how mangahood are structured" oh? owo?

ANON YOU ARE MY HERO!! You have been warned these are my personal taste opinions and don't necessarily reflect what makes a "good" story

I have two main points that sort of tie into one: I think fma makes more sense as a smaller scale story.

Under the readmore because this got long:

Yes, it’s a shounen of course it eventually has a grand arc with the world at stake. I can’t really blame it for that. But at its core the story is about the Elric brothers’ love for each other, and their loss of innocence as they venture out into the world that's hurt them so. We care about them, about their near impossible struggle to right a mistake and get their lives and bodies back. And we see how cruel and horrible the world can be through the eyes of children. Keeping with mangahood’s hopeful tone we also see how good the world can be, and imo this works best in the smaller interactions ie winry helping to deliver a baby, the hughes’ family’s generosity to the elrics and winry, etc. The jump from a character driven story (Edward wants to save his little brother) to a more shouneny plot driven story (Edward needs to save the world) takes the focus away from a lot of what I find compelling about FMA.

3/4's of the way into mangahood the Elrics are sort of subsumed into the plot at large and the story doesn't come back to them until Al makes his sacrifice. If I'm being honest, the final battle feels a little contrived to center our protagonists when the whole conclusion could've been written with them at the center to start with (that said I LIKE the end of Brotherhood, this is just a personal taste for story structure thing).

Now obligatory 03 ramble, in contrast 03 keeps the Elrics centered throughout. The final battle isn't much of a battle at all. And sure, it isn't as grand. But it feels in keeping with the heart of the story--Dante is going to kill Alphonse so she can live forever. The whole series up until this point is about Ed trying to save Al, it makes SENSE for this to be the conclusion. The brothers' codependent love comes to a forefront with each unwilling to let the other die, even at the cost of his own life. In this way not only do we begin and end with the Elrics, but we've stayed with them the entire time. 03 is a much more character driven personal story and that's where its charm lies.

My second and bigger issue with the structure of mangahood isin the way it uses large-scale tragedy to fuel its plot.

There are better posts than I can make already written about how mangahood centers the feelings of the perpetrators over the victims. What I will say is the fact that the ishbal war started due to an “accidental” hate crime against an ishbalan child by a military officer is a very sensitive topic and hits close to home (I’m American and this is a very, very relevant conflict). It feels a little in poor taste to me to take something so political and so sensitive and go ahaha but you see it was ENVY all along! Arakawa picked a very heavy subject as the backdrop for her story and sort of relegated it to that: a backdrop. What’s presented as a racially motivated genocide actually was just the bad guys being evil. It falls just short of a real, in-depth criticism of the military. Instead we are left with good men and women who were just following orders (which she DOES explore to a good extent and I appreciate how she does not shy away from making it clear what they did was unforgivable). The corrupt military being corrupt because it is the pawn of a big bad inhuman god-wannabe just... falls flat for me.

In 03, the child's murder at the hands of the police is a fabricated story created to "explain" the genocide--instigated by the military without provocation. And this happens because one, powerful human selfishly wanted to extend her own life. This is the story that feels more true to life and dares to really engage with the themes presented instead of writing them off as some plot device. Not to say that 03 didn't have its own problems with its depiction of genocide because. oh boy nazis in shamballa?? HUH!.

Anyways again these are all my opinions. I think FMA has a lot of heart, and it works best on a smaller scale in order to tell a more personal story.

[larrikin-is-a-himbo]

Thoughts on rewatch of the Batman 2022

"Ave Maria" faintly playing in the background in the beginning. Hadn't noticed that before.

Gotta look fabulous before going to beat the life out of criminals.

This movie does a perfect job of separating Batman and Bruce Wayne. How different those two people are, despite being the same person.

Another aspect I love is that this is the very beginning stages of Batman's journey. He's not the "perfect, no mistakes, flawless detective work" Batman that most movies portray. He's learning, making mistakes, still needs to improve his skills and craft. And since it's the first years and he hasn't been established as an asset to the Gotham PD yet, the officers, rightfully so, *do not* like him which makes a lot of sense than letting him run amok. (Not that that gets any better with time but you feel the difference in how they take Batman's presence.)

"The city's eating itself. Maybe it's beyond saving. But I have to try." SEE that is how you characterise Bruce, hope and endurance in the face of despair.

The narrative parallel between the death of the mayor and his son finding the body, and young Bruce watching his parents being murdered. Oh, it's so good, I'm gonna eat my hand.

Bruce saying he doesn't care what happens to his family's business and all the work they've done, equating his worth to what he does as a vigilante just goes to show how much the trauma and mental anguish has taken over his life, and now the severe depression, suicidal tendencies, even subconsciously just looking for an excuse to not live hits too close to home.

Robert Pattinson's back 😳 (I am a whore, leave me alone)

Batman fucking up the twins will never not be funny.

You've gotta be honest, our edgelord's entrance into Penguin's lair is nothing short of iconic.

I love this version of Penguin so much, he's the right amount of menacing and goofy.

THE FIRST MEETING OF BATCAT. Love-at-first-sight if I've ever seen it.

I fucking LOVE seeing Catwoman in action.

If I don't meet my S/O with us having a 1v1 and them manhandling me, what even is the point of it all.

Selina and Bruce's socio-economic background play such a big role in their reasons and aspirations to be heroes (or vigilantes). Glad this movie doesn't gloss over that.

Batsy is such a bastard in his early days. Selina should deck him.

He has so much to learn and grow, not just as Batman, but as a person. Yes, this is about him sending Selina as a spy.

Bruce Wayne looking like he's having the worst time of his life when he's in public. I love this socially repulsive man with all my heart.

Bruce seeing his child self in the mayor's son, but now with new responsibility of solving this mystery, just wow. A lot of movies, at least the live-action ones, tend to not prioritise portraying Bruce's childhood or the trauma he experienced with the gruesome murder of his parents, because at his core that's what led him down this path, it's just as, if not more, important, to him being the saviour, the knight of Gotham.

Him getting jealous thinking that's Selina with Falcone. Somebody's in love.

Riddler and his stupid love letters. Get a life.

Batman, you idiot, why would you stand with your face right infront for the bomb.

The police station scene is so funny. Poor Jim is losing it. "Great, now I got you on assaulting an officer." "You got me on assaulting three." Bad bitch energy.

"We gotta get you out of here buddy." "🥺" Gay behaviour.

OOOOOH. THE ESCAPE SCENE. Can't wait to see Batsy hit the ground and eat shit. THERE IT IS.

The fucking chase scene. Hell yeah. Emo Batman has some of the best entrances and chases in this movie. It's actually fun to watch and isn't cringe. What a refreshing change.

"Good cop, batshit cop." Jim shoving the pictures of the mutilated face into Penguin's face. I can't breathe.

Jim and Bats interrogating Penguin. Penguin roasting the fuck out of them. "No habla espanol, fellas?" "Shut up!" FUCKING HILARIOUS. Them leaving his tied up, and him waddling while cursing. THAT'S how you do comedy without breaking the tone of the movie, especially for dark superhero movies.

I know Alfred doesn't die but godsdammit I hate seeing him hurt.

Bruce lashing out because he feels betrayed but also reeling from getting flashbacks to his father's death while seeing Alfred in that bed, my boy was in the worst emotional state. I forgive him for being a little bitch to his dad (Alfred).

The heart to heart between Bruce and Alfred is such a tender and love-full moment. I needed that :,)

Selina should have just killed Kenzie before Bats came around. I support women's rights, but more importantly I support women's right to murder.

Carmine Falcone is such a sleazebag character. He gives me the creeps.

I love Jim Gordon. No particular scene inspired that statement, I just love him.

THE SECOND BEST HALLWAY FIGHT SCENE IN THE WORLD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I want it injected in my veins.

When Falcone is arrested and Penguin speaks against Carmine, I love that scene because it's a subtle indication to the end of the movie, where we see Penguin will now take over the criminal underworld of Gotham. The mighty Falcon has been taken down, the city is drowned. What better opportunity for a flightless bird to takeover?

Riddler with his dumb ass jokes and reddit lives. What a clown. He's dangerous but I can't take him seriously.

Batman appears and he just [starts screaming] peak teenage boy behaviour. Cringe lord. Be better.

Starting the movie with "I am darkness", contemplating if Gotham can even be saved, and ending it with Batman lighting the way, leading Gotham out of the destruction. GODS. Him coming to the realisation that Gotham, and by extension himself, need hope and change, not clinging to the past, not vengeance. That is so poetic.

In regards to BatCat, the last meeting really signifies their love story. He loves her, he truly does, and maybe in this version of the story they end up together despite all the, but Gotham will always be his priority. She wants him to live, not just exist, but live, but Bruce gave up on that idea long ago.

"The Bat and the Cat, its got a nice ring to it. [Pause] Who am I kidding? You're already spoken for." OK, Mr. Matt Reeves, why don't you just shoot me between the eyes?

[castlebyersafterdark]

Absolutely loving the honest conversations going on here! I feel like for so long people in the fandom had to conform to the unspoken “rules” or be shamed by the fandom police.

I think part of the reason why fans were so hesitant to reveal they read/write smut is the fact that they want to distance themselves from the Creepy Adult Straight Girl El-Hating Misogynistic Fujoshi Byler Fan that anti-Bylers claim us all to be.

Time and time again I’d see random anons claim all Bylers are this way and I’d see the same response:

“Not all Bylers are like that! Most of us as lesbians/queer so we’re good actually!”

Hopefully now we can see that people of all types (ace, lesbian, bi, straight, trans etc) can ship Byler and read Byler smut and it’s okay!

(Of course I’m not saying misogyny is okay though BUT people are allowed to not like El as a character and it doesn’t make them misogynistic.)

We hate cops around here! No fandom police! I just want to see really civil conversations and discussion, no witch hunts or jumping at people. I've actually had some personal preconceptions and ideas about stuff kinda turned around through talking it out and reading what people send into me, which has been really cool. It's nice to just... chat. Growth! Everyone can use a little, no matter who or about what.

I can see some of that, since hardcore El fans seem to be waaaay protective of that character and it's like a complex, an insecurity or something. People and fans can just... like other characters more. I don't hate El, she's a great character and I'm really interested in her part in a lot of the lore and theories I like to think about and read. I also in the fandom aspect of being a fan of this show - I don't really think about her beyond that? I just like a lot of other characters better. Doesn't make people El haters if other storylines and ships are more interesting to someone.

[cwarscars]

Hey bro i heard you like 🔥 so c'maaan gimmie your salt maaaan

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

(( gonna preface this by saying - if any of my moot moots are one side or the other, or consider themselves such - i got no beef with you. you're my homies, my real ones, my ride or dies; im open-minded to hearing your opinions. jus' dont send me any anon nastiness, ill cry REAL tears ))

honestly? i can't stand the black and white thinking in the rpc & fanfic communities as a whole. the whole pro-shipper/anti-shipper debate is extremely tiresome to apparently anyone who believes in nuance & grey situations.

like, on one side - you have people who will and do persecute people for the fucked up ships that they write. on the other, you have people who preach fiction is fiction and will willingly ignore the genuinly problematic people who take advantage of the notion of 'pro-shipping' in order to write their extreme fetishes ( ala, pedophilia / beastiality ).

i have always been anti-censorship. i always will be. i watch extreme cinema and read extreme manga / comics. nothing phases me. there are films that disturb me ( salo will /always/ make my uncomfy ) and obviously things i wont touch with a ten foot barge pole ( anything with kids / animals ) but for the most part, i'm very chill when it comes to what people want to write. i believe people should be honest about their kinks, preferences and things they wish to write.

if your partner is willing, it's consensual and tagged or under a read more. i have zero issues with it. but -

i have gotten sent hate before from 'pro-shippers' for stating my stance on anybody who wants to write smut with kids. literal hate for stating i'm against pedophilia. ( and im not talking about a 17 yr old being sexually active, im talking, like - literal children being sexualised ) like, what? i've been called purity police and all kinds of shit. like, me? purity police???? the bitch whose favourite comic is crossed and favourite manga, ichi the killer. LOL

my whole issue with the debate and the censorship / arguments in the rpc is that, it feels as though you HAVE to be one side or the other. you can't have a nuanced opinion, you can't understand that sometimes - there is a place for certain content, despite how extreme it is.

everybody is allowed a preference. you're allowed to be upset, offended, afraid, disgusted by or whatever else from x subject. every single individual is different and it's what makes us all beautiful. and i feel people need to really understand this. you can write extreme content but don't expect people to like it. on the other hand, if you don't like x content - don't attack someone for writing that content.

i just feel that there's wrong on both sides and i wish people would actually talk about the subject instead of throwing around attacks at each other. ultimately, whether anybody likes it or not - what you're writing is a footnote in the grand scheme of literature. you're writing on tumblr with your buddies and you're here to have fun.

if you wanna write an extreme sex scene with your consenting friends, go for it. if you don't want to write smut or you can't stand a certain ship, that is totally fine, too.

it's okay! both sides can be right without being aggressive or nasty.

like said, i would never label myself 'pro-ship' or any of that shit because i don't agree with that stance. i believe that there is a place for all content in all media in some, way, shape or form. i believe that rp is a slippery slope because it's a hobby that involves partners and is sociable. you have to please those around you and must understand that you can't wave around fetishes without a potential backlash. i agree people should write what they want, but i don't agree that there is a place for ( for example ) smut involving kids or animals. especially in the rpc. i've seen people 'joke' before about writing a pedo purely for exploration & to get a reaction. i can't imagine a more unenjoyable, questionable, horrific kind of thing to write in rp ( hell, even in media...that sort of character burns out and leaves creators depressed a/f).

i just wish people would talk, understand, and be open-minded. and - think about the bigger picture, too.

is this thing going to ride with you when you're offline?

probably not. so be respectful, have fun and just chill~