#like what do you mean nova isn’t in the films??

[m4tthewmurd0ck]

Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader

i try to avoid descriptors but i do use she/her! click [HERE] for my tom blyth masterlist :)

you post a meme, but of course the internet takes it too far. set a few days after the vogue interviews, so tbosas has been out just over a month. we’ll just say december 22 since it came out november 17. also i changed the ending for the film because eventually you’ll be working on the sequel hehshsdb

tagged; ewanmitchell

liked by houseofthedragonhbo and others…

yourname me trying to sneak into theaters so i can see people’s reactions to tbosas but i don’t want them to know it’s me. alternatively; coriolanus walking around knowing damn well what he did to sejanus and lucy gray 🤬

username excuse me i’m wheezing 😭

↳ username she really tagged ewan snsjdhxjsushxa

rachelzegler 😂😂😂😂

yourname has liked this comment

username she better avenge her boyfriend in the sequel!!!!

↳ username has a sequel been confirmed already???

↳ username not officially but with how things ended there better be one. talk about a cliffhanger!

↳ username can anyone spoil it for me how does it end??

↳ justiceforsejanus well since you asked!! after the cabin fight scene with nova may and coryo, he does manage to knock the gun out of her hand and attempt to choke her to death BUT my gworl makes an escape and goes who knows where. cut to coriolanus with his 3rd hairstyle of the movie and he looks out before it cuts to black and then the quote from future him “it’s the things we love most that destroy us”. you think it’s over right but NO MID CREDIT SCENE!!!! he knocks on a door and nova may answers. she’s obviously shocked and all he does is that stupid grin (🥵) and say “we’re gonna make a deal”. THEN the screen cuts to black and… that’s all we get. definitely potential for a sequel

↳ username waaaait that means yourname and tomblyth will work together again! and this time their characters might interact more!

username why does she always post ewan when she’s dating tom?

↳ yournamefan relax becky it’s a meme.

↳ username just saying i wouldn’t appreciate that.

↳ yourname good thing i’m dating tom and not you then isn’t it 🤭 also i love you yournamefan 💕

ewanmitchell if i had a dollar for every time you used this screenshot 😩

↳ yourname omg it’s lucerys killer aaaahhhh!!!!

↳ ewanmitchell i hate you 😩😩

enews uh-oh! yourname posting about her on screen boyfriend and not tomblyth? 👀

↳ yourname please take several seats

yourname has blocked enews

username poor tomblyth

↳ username right. yourname isn’t even that pretty he could do so much better!

↳ username 👏👏👏👏

↳ username i hope he leaves her soon.

yourname has disabled the comment section

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[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Deadpool & Wolverine

(Thanks @knightsweeties for the GP Wolverine art)

Now I happen to be a fan of the merc with the mouth. And so when I found out there would be a 3rd movie I was hyped. When I found out Disney was producing it … less hyped. Mainly because Disney has been hit or miss with superhero movies after Endgame.

But having watched it, And letting my bias die down I can tell you exactly how I feel about this as a movie.

For this review I will be covering the following.

The Plot,

The characters

The “Meta”

The Choreography

The Lesson

Final thoughts.

____________________________________________

The Plot

When it comes to Deadpool, plots are meant to be simple in order to allow for all the shenanigans. Deadpool and Wolverine is a movie that sounds like it will be complicated but is actually surprisingly straight forward.

Wade/Deadpool finds himself in a funk after his shenanigans in the previous movie and failing to join the avengers.

But despite that, he still has a good amount of people in his life. And they celebrate his birthday.

Suddenly the TVA (Time variance authority) appears and pulls him in. Where Paradox tells him he’s being pulled into the main timeline. Deadpool is hyped because it means he gets to be a hero again!

But he finds out that his timeline is dying because the “Anchor being” is dead. Turns out it’s the Wolverine from the Logan movie. And because of this Paradox decides instead of waiting for that timeline to decay he would use a timeripper to destroy it. (A literal time bomb)

Deadpool then goes to try and revive Wolverine. Which he digs up his corpse, and TVA agents appear. (This is the actual start of the film) Deadpool uses Logan’s corpse to kill the TVA agents.

Deadpool then starts traveling the multiverse for different Wolverines (each one beating the s*** out of Wade) before finding the Wolverine that would accompany him for the rest of the movie.

He returns to the TVA to find out that he picked up the Worst Wolverine and that this isn’t how Anchor beings work.

The duo gets tossed into the void. Where they are supposed to get eaten by the Alioth. (Deadpool points out what episode of the show it’s from.) Deadpool and Wolverine meet a bunch of characters thrown into the void (all from 20th century Fox movies) where they eventually meet the main Villain Cassandra nova, Professor Xavier’s twin sister that was removed from the timeline as a baby because she was dangerous.

The duo barely escape and travel to find the “Resistance” in order to fight Cassandra and escape the void.

There they meet Electra, Blade, Gambit (from the unaired tv show), and X-23. The one from Logan.

They eventually go back to fight Cassandra and after a failed assassination attempt on her life by Pyro who was hired by the TVA. DP and Wolverine manage to get back to DP’s Timeline.

Unfortunately Cassandra Also shows up because she is salty with Paradox and decides to use the time ripper to give herself the power to destroy every timeline

Deadpool and Wolverine end up fighting an army of Deadpool variants before being saved by Peter.

They stop the Time ripper with the power of friendship and because of that Cassandra Nova gets ripped apart and Paradox gets arrested by the TVA’s Hunter B-15.

Deadpool gets his timeline restored. Wolverine ends up becoming part of DP’s friend group and it ends with Deadpool reconciling with Vanessa.

Overall it sounds complicated but the movie always does a decent job explaining anything that the viewer would be confused by without slowing down the movie pace. It fits very inline with the Deadpool movie plot lines. Though some scenes did drag on and some things felt like padding. It was a solid plot.

8/10

__________________________________________

The Characters

Deadpool: Ryan Reynolds does arguably his best performance of DP in this movie. I felt like the balance of plot and parody was in top form. There was never a scene where I said “Deadpool wouldn’t do that.” Solid performance and is the most fitting actor for the hero they are portraying. 10/10

Wolverine: Hugh Jackman is the best at what he does and he plays most of the Wolverine variants. His performance as Wolverine in this is second only to his performance in Logan. I love the reveal that this was X man Origins Wolverine. Turning one of my least favorite movies into something I can enjoy. 9/10

Cassandra nova: Emma Corrine’s performance of Xavier’s crazy sister is solid. I love how absolutely vile she is. She is vicious, petty, unhinged and manipulative. You understand why SHE is a threat. And her unhinged mannerisms explain why she doesn’t just kill people right away. She loves to toy with them. But the best part is, her plan is a reaction. If paradox had left her alone, she wouldn’t have even bothered leaving the Void. I love that part. It’s very Maleficent of her. 8/10

Mr.Paradox: he is exactly what you would expect, a disgruntled employee that thinks he knows better than everyone else. He’s slimey, cowardly and thinks he’s smarter than he is. His name also fitting how much of a contradiction he is. He claims he’s doing what’s best for the TVA, yet is going behind their back to do his plan. And his ending scene is *chef’s kiss*. 8/10

The Resistance: Blade, Elektra, X-23, and Gambit are all phenomenal characters. The way they play off of Wade and Wolverine is some solid banter. Though the break out for me was Channing tatum’s gambit. But all of them had their moments. 9/10

Deadpool Corps: From Dogpool to Headpool.I loved each variant of Deadpool. I even liked Nicepool who had the funniest death. Lady Deadpool being portrayed by Blake Lively. And baby pool and kidpool being portrayed by Blake and Ryan’s kids. Lovely. Though Peggy’s performance as Dogpool was AWE-inspiring! Stealing every scene she was in. I think the DP variants were in all the scenes they needed to be in. Not over used. 9/10

Blind Al: Leslie Uggams gives another amazing performance. Top tier and the best character in the movie. Just as important to the Deadpool franchise as Deadpool and Peter. 10/10

Peter: Rob Delaney crushing his role as Peter. He is used the perfect amount. No notes. 10/10

Overall the rest of the supporting cast and cameos were all solid and the casting could not be better.

9/10

__________________________________________

The “Meta”

Deadpool is no stranger to 4th wall breaks. But this is the first movie where the Meta is such a huge part of the plot. The references and used assets of previous movies and shows make up 90% of the movie. Now I want to say that this isn’t distracting… but it kind of is. It makes the film just feel like a 2+ hour 4th wall break. And for some people, that can be jarring.

For me, I enjoyed it and I was expecting it. But to those going in expecting a typical marvel movie. It’s not that.

That being said I like how even if you didn’t know about the properties you can get enough of an explanation to follow what’s going on. I haven’t been keeping up with everything marvel so there were some things I didn’t know. The movie rewards you the more you watched the things it references, but it rarely penalizes your enjoyment if you don’t.

Overall I thought the Meta was fine but a few tweaks could have made it better.

7/10

______________________________________

The Choreography.

This is the best fight scenes I’ve seen in the franchise.

All the fights have interesting gimmicks or styles that it never feels repetitive. It always has something new, gives great drama and suspense. And the fight in the Toyota is one of the most fun fights in marvel.

And that opening sequence maybe my favorite in the franchise.

And that Climax (I almost cried)

Absolutely no notes

10/10

____________________________________________

The lesson

I know how shocking this sounds, but yes, this does have a lesson. It actually has 2 lessons.

The first we learn from Deadpool. That purpose does not need to be grand. To be a hero you only need to protect those you love, cherish your world and you will never falter. Or simply put. Realizing how much one Matters.

The second lesson is Wolverine, that mistakes and failures do not need to define us. We can change, we can grow, we can be better. Redemption, or in a way the opposite of Wade’s issue. The past doesn’t need to matter if you focus on the future.

Both lessons are shown by both characters (especially in the climax) such a solid character growth for both characters. (And the matter and Antimatter convergence)

8/10

_________________________________________

Final thoughts

The movie for me is an 8.5/10

I loved the movie for what it is. It is a bit clunky at some points. But the heart of the characters is there. The movie has a soul, something I felt was lacking from Marvel since endgame. The movie jokes that it’s the marvel messiah. I also think they made the joke in bad taste (disrespecting the man upstairs)

Though if they do believe that this movie could save marvel, I honestly can’t say it’s true. But I can say it’s my favorite marvel movie post endgame. Just barely beating out No way home.

[lgcmanager]

PERSONAL CHANNELS ( Q2 2023: PART 2 )

SCHEDULE TYPE: N/A RESTRICTIONS: ACTORS AND MODELS ONLY

now that we’ve gathered all of the submissions, listed below are the ones that have been approved/renewed:

0-199 NOTORIETY

seonny side up - BAEK SEONA ( @lgcseona )

tomitalks - SATO MINAMI ( @lgctomi )

200+ NOTORIETY

jinseo’s communication center - KIM JINSEO ( @lgcjinseo )

mulljingi’s gym - KIM JINYOUNG ( @lgcjinyoung )

sanghyun’s stories - LIM SANGHYUN ( @lgcsanghyun )

time turn - OKADA TAIYOU ( @lgctaiyou )

xander: off the runway - HAN JISOO ( @lgcjisoo )

we’ve mentioned some of the rules and requirements to this over HERE, but we wanted to expand a bit further so you can get a better idea of how the personal channels are set up:

depending on the muse’s NOTORIETY (at the time of this post), the writing requirements may vary slightly so please pay attention to that when planning when to write the solos/posts!

once the debuted artist has created a personal channel, they will be expected to pay any of the expenses that might be used. so if you’re planning on doing some sort of game or challenge with a guest, do note that they will be given the bare minimum especially that the selected artists are just starting their channels.

since there is an option to invite a GUEST on the show once per trimester, this will probably be filmed during a time when BOTH the host and guest are free. generally speaking, actors and idols usually are the busiest due to their schedules followed by models and trainees so take that into consideration when thinking of who to invite. for this term there are some special rules about this, so please read below for more info!

in terms of traveling, the debuted artist can travel to different parts of korea but most likely that will be filmed on sunday, which is the day that everyone has a day off (exception is if they’re given a holiday break like chuseok). if the debuted artist plans to do that at any time during the trimester, they will have to do all of the filming by themselves.

the length of the videos vary, but typically each video is about 10-25 minutes long with all of the editing!

for Q2, we’ve added some special rules as a way to spark some creativity with the solos/threads.

first, if you are PLANNING on doing a thread for one of the videos, rather than the usual restriction ( ex. the guest must be a debuted artist/model/actor ), the guest must be someone who HAS hosted a vlive/youtube show in the past terms ( Q4 2022 & Q1 2023 ) and isn’t in NOVA currently. this is because everyone has a busy schedule ( including the trainees ) so rather than letting them host another season of their show or having their own, we’re allowing them to be featured as a guest for the personal channel. listed below are all of the muses who have hosted a vlive show or youtube show during that time:

HAN HYUNHEE ( abracadabra, alakazam! )

HAN NOEUL ( legacy hall battle )

KANG MAXIMILIAN ( literature slam )

KIM CHERRY ( our incherrysting history )

KIM YUJIN ( scrapbooking with yujin )

PARK JAEKYUNG ( dungeon noob discussions )

PARK SEOJIN ( noraebattle )

like mentioned previously, the guest will NOT receive any points for replying to the thread if the personal channel owner chooses to do the thread component.

second, to receive an additional +4 MCING/HOSTING, VARIETY, ACTING, OR PERFORMANCE, and +2 NOTORIETY, one of the solos ( NOT threads ) must be a charity related video. this means that the profits earned from the views in that specific video will be donated to a charity of the personal channel owner’s choosing, so it’s up to them to decide the charity they would like to donate the money to and bring some awareness to the charity in their video ( this can be done by either having the video focusing on what the charity does, doing an activity that can help the charity, etc. ). if this is completed, you will get both the base rewards ( +6 MCING/HOSTING, VARIETY, ACTING, OR PERFORMANCE & +4 NOTORIETY ) AND the additional rewards ( +4 MCING/HOSTING, VARIETY, ACTING, OR PERFORMANCE & +2 NOTORIETY ). the total of the rewards will then be +10 MCING/HOSTING, VARIETY, ACTING, OR PERFORMANCE, and +6 NOTORIETY for that solo. 

third, while this only applies to muses who are in BULLET INQUIRY, you can film content during the bali trip but if you choose to have another cast member featured in the video make sure that it’s short ( less than 1 minute ) and you’ve asked permission from the mun about the cameo appearance since the majority of the video should be focusing on the personal channel owner. for the owners that are in LGC SPRING BOYS, you can film behind the scenes content with another fellow LGC SPRING BOYS member for the thread component, but the same rules applies ( ex. the guest will not receive points for replying to the thread, can only be one of the lgc spring boys members that has hosted a vlive/youtube show in q4 2022/q1 2023, etc. ) if you choose to write a solo about the LGC SPRING BOYS behind the scenes, you could if you want to but all solos and threads related to that project will be posted ( ic wise ) after the project is done ( so around JUNE ).

after the deadline has passed, we’ll add on the lgc master sheet (specifically on the LGCMEDIA SCHEDULE tab) when the episodes that you’ve submitted were aired. as a reminder, the debuted artist has released more episodes than the number that was written for this trimester.

POINTS FORM

you have until JUNE 24, 2023 11:59PM EDT to finish the writing requirements. please tag all solos and posts pertaining to this with lgc:personalchannel.  when you’ve finished the writing requirements, send the form below to the lgcpoints blog ( you can copy the episode line multiple times depending on how many solos/threads were written ):

MUSE NAME ∙ PERSONAL CHANNELS (Q2 2023) - EPISODE: +6 ( MCING/HOSTING, VARIETY, ACTING, OR PERFORMANCE ), +4 NOTORIETY [ LINK ] - BONUS (CHARITY): +4 ( MCING/HOSTING, VARIETY, ACTING, OR PERFORMANCE ) +4 NOTORIETY [ LINK THE CHARITY SOLO ]

[lornrocks]

Listen man I understand critiquing media because it doesn’t have any female characters or enough female characters but I think sometimes a movie, especially one overstuffed with plot and side characters, maybe you don’t need to get mad that the two leads are men.

I mean shit dude they completely wrote out the like, one female character when they made the Eagle of the Ninth into a movie. And you know what? It’s sooooo weirdly romantic and I KNOW Jamie Bell and Channing Tatum did it on purpose. I know they did.

And while I do appreciate they went out of their way to include women in the Hobbit films, idk how much better it is to be like “here’s some random kids we made up for Bard who didn’t get to talk a lot, here’s a love interest for Legolas AND Kili leading to some bullshit love triangle no one wanted, and Galadriel is also here for some reason” like ehhh idk. It’s nice they did it but it also felt awkward.

Anyway I keep seeing reviews being like (mostly recently) why aren’t there better roles for women in Deadpool & Wolverine and I’m like bc it’s called Deadpool & Wolverine and it’s literally about them?? Also the villain is literally Cassandra Nova (granted she is played by a NB actor I believe) like??? Also multiple supporting characters are ladies? Like??

I don’t get it, man. Do movies treat female characters like shit? Yeah, sure. But I’m not so sure we need to shove a girl in there if the story isn’t about that.

Besides, movies made by women starring women DO exist but it’s not my fault Birds of Prey and The Marvels got fucked over by bad release dates, strikes, and the pandemic.

[readingonpluto]

RENE-GHOULS SHIP WEEKS - Day 2!

Thank you to @renegades-ship-weeks for hosting and keeping track of this event!

Osby - Scary Movies 

Ruby loves scary movies.

Oscar... Not so much...

It isn’t that he despises them, it is more that he doesn’t see the fun in being scared for two hours straight. 

That, and screaming while Ruby just grins and critiques the killers form.

Normally, Ruby would invite Nova, Danna, and Narcissa down for a scary movie night, but this year, she invited him. 

He was honestly thinking of saying no, but then she bribed him with food and its her. Could he really say no?

So, here they are, Ruby starting up the movie and Oscar hanging onto the popcorn bowl for dear life. 

“You’ll be fine,” Ruby grins at him, leaning on his shoulder. “I chose one that isn’t too scary for you.”

It turns out, it was too scary for him. 

Halfway through it turned into Ruby gripping him to him gripping her. 

At one point, the killer pops out from behind a tree (they must have teleported!) and the popcorn bowl goes flying. 

Ruby laughs, wrapping her arms around Oscar, tucking his head into the place where her neck meets her shoulder. 

She kisses the top of his head whispering, “Don’t look at this next part. It is the climax of the film.”

AKA, the most scary part. 

Oscar decides not to move for the rest of the movie, not even when Ruby points out that the blood isn’t real, yet simply corn starch. 

“You missed the final girl defeating the killer,” Ruby mummers as the credits roll. 

“Good,” Oscar says, peeking from his safe place. 

He looks up to find Ruby frowning at him.

“What?” He asks. 

“You didn’t have to watch it with me.”

Oscar sits up, tilting his head. “What do you mean?”

“You can just say that you don’t want to watch them with me. I know you hate them.”

“I don’t hate scary movies. I just wouldn’t choose to watch them.” He grins. “And I do want to watch them with you. I get free cuddles out of it.”

Ruby can’t stay angry when he looks at her like that. A small smile touches her lips. 

“So... You want to watch another?”

“Absolutely. Give me the scariest one you got.” 

[tealin]

Observation Hill

To see the post in its original format, please visit twirlynoodle.com/blog

There is no mistaking Observation Hill when you arrive at McMurdo, if you know anything about it.  It is a distinct cone, right at the end of the peninsula – even if you've never seen a picture of it, its name alone tells you it's a prime lookout, and sticking out into McMurdo sound as it does, it has clear views in every direction.

I had seen pictures of it, but I was still surprised how it loomed over the station.  Unlike the vastly larger Mt Erebus, it is visible from everywhere; whether you're eating in the Galley or crawling back to bed from the Crary lab in the wee hours, it's always looking over your shoulder.

Though not apparent in the above photo, it is clearly visible in person that there is a large cross mounted nearly at the peak of the hill.  Visitors especially from the States might assume it is just another expression of religious devotion – Christ died on a cross on a hill, so hilltop crosses are not unusual in a country which puts great stock in expressions of Christianity – but this is not another one of those things, in fact it isn't even American.  This cross was erected in January 1913 by the surviving men of the Terra Nova Expedition, as a memorial to Captain Scott and the other members of his party who died out on the Ross Ice Shelf on their way home from the South Pole.

Before the ship arrived it was decided among us to urge the erection of a cross on Observation Hill to the memory of the Polar Party.  On the arrival of the ship the carpenter immediately set to work to make a great cross of jarrah wood [an Australian hardwood].  There was some discussion as to the inscription, it being urged that there should be some quotation from the Bible because "the women think a lot of these things."  But I was glad to see the concluding line of Tennyson's "Ulysses" adopted: "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."  

... Observation Hill was clearly the place for it, it knew them all so well. Three of them were Discovery men who lived three years under its shadow: they had seen it time after time as they came back from hard journeys on the Barrier: Observation Hill and Castle Rock were the two which had always welcomed them in.  It commanded McMurdo Sound on one side, where they had lived: and the Barrier on the other, where they had died.  No more fitting pedestal, a pedestal which in itself is nearly 1000 feet high, could have been found. 

(Apsley Cherry-Garrard, The Worst Journey in the World, pp.565-7)

The establishment of the cross took two days: the first, to hack a hole in the volcanic rock in which to mount it, and the second to carry up the pieces and erect them.  

It stands nine feet out of the rocks, and many feet into the ground, and I do not believe it will ever move.  When it was up, facing out over the Barrier, we gave three cheers and one more.  ��(ibid., p.567)

106 years later, there is a hiking trail up Observation Hill.  I had intended to make a pilgrimage since the moment I arrived, but with everything else going on, and the ongoing challenge to get enough sleep, it wasn't until quite late in my visit that I finally made it.

My first attempt was on a relatively fine day, when I thought I could get some good views. The trailhead was clearly marked on the station map, but when I got there I couldn't find a way to reach it without crossing a fuel pipeline, and I had a dim recollection from orientation that this was a big no-no.  I wandered about looking for access until I started getting a headache from the fumes, and gave up.

The next opportunity came a few days later, after I'd found out from a veteran that it was OK just to step over the pipeline there.  It was a thickly cloudy day, and hazy by Antarctic standards, so I wouldn't get as good a view, but that did mean I could look forward to having the hill to myself.  So I stepped over the pipeline and started up.

It looks like a terribly steep climb from the bottom, but once on the slope it's not so bad, and is far less slippery than the gravel slope of Arrival Heights.  Partway up I passed a mountain rescue class, but beyond that the trail was entirely mine.

Like the rest of Ross Island, Observation Hill is volcanic in origin – in fact it was once a small volcano of its own.  Unlike the subglacial volcano that is now Castle Rock, which grew cylindrically through a hole it melted in the ice, Observation Hill must have been uncovered in its later years  at least, because it has the classic cone shape made by molten rock running down the outside.  It is a lighter colour than much of the rest of the exposed rock in the area, and in places, it gives a really good impression of being sedimentary rather than igneous.

While the climb was not as physically intense as I had feared, it did still make me very warm, and I had two pauses, not to catch my breath but to cool down.  One was to watch the rescue class, the other was when, somewhere near the top, I lost the trail, and examined the terrain for a while to guess which side would be least fall-off-able.  I chose the wrong one, it turns out – I didn't fall off, but I did have to pick my way over some bare rock and came out above the cross, which is mounted in a pocket of rubble just off the peak.

It's hard to tell from the photo but it is in fact quite large – I am an average sized female and I  stood well under the crossbar.  The inscription is still there, but over a century of blizzards have battered it, and some parts are just barely decipherable.

The names – above of the worst of the blowing grit – are still legible.  This gave me one of those moments which always seems to come by surprise.  I have lived most of my life, and certainly all of my career, in close proximity with fictional characters, who demand to be believed in, either out of escapist necessity or professional duty.  Most of the time I am off in my own little world, and the fact that that little world is now a historical moment in Antarctica does not, necessarily, make it more real, in relation to my literal present reality, than any movie I've worked on.  I know these guys were real, I have seen film footage of them, and read their handwriting, and, some of them, even met members of their families!  But when I'm up to my elbows in the work, it's easy to give it the part of my brain that suspends disbelief on a production.  Suddenly something will come along that jolts me back to their reality: in this case, a name carved on a physical object by someone who knew them personally.

At the same time, this physical object impressed upon me again just how much time separates their reality and mine.  Originally the cross was painted white, with the incised letters filled in black.  Only a little of the white paint remains in the deepest recesses of what are quite shallow letters, now.  In 1960, when Silas Wright returned and was photographed up here, the wood had already been scoured clean.  His visit was 47 years after the cross was put in place, and 49 years before mine.  The same imagination that conflates historical realities with fictional ones can make those years evaporate, but that is still a lot of years, and erosion, unlike imagination, doesn't lie.

Cherry may have believed that the cross would never move, but it has in fact blown down twice, once in the winter of 1974 and again in 1993.  Its restoration in 1994 was a significant effort: a new concrete "boot" was made for it at Scott Base and delivered to the site by helicopter, and the cross itself was relayed up the hill by teams of helpers.  (You can see photos of the event here, p.44)  I cannot say how moving it is to see such an outlay of resources and enthusiasm by people who never met the Polar Party, to perpetuate their memory.

The cross isn't the only thing to see at the top of Observation Hill, of course – there is everything else.  It turned out to be the perfect way to end my tour of Terra Nova landmarks, not only because it was the last bit of home territory the Terra Nova men themselves visited, but because I could see nearly everywhere I'd been from up here.

As you can see, it was not the greatest day for landscape photography, what with the matte light and the taller mountains being covered with cloud.  But I had not come up here to take pictures.  The sombre atmosphere befitted what I had come to do, which was to remember these men and thank The Powers That Be for the blessings that had been showered upon me in the last few weeks.

The cross faces south, towards their last camp, and the Pole.  This is, of course, a thoughtful and fitting aspect of the memorial.  It also gives the impression of a beacon, a light in a window, a lighthouse on a headland, guiding them home. The men who erected it knew the men were dead.  They are still dead.  We all know this.  But they are still out there somewhere, and it is not impossible to imagine some small irrational part of the human psyche wanting, in some small way, to show them the way back, and call them back by name.

Minna Bluff was covered in cloud, so I couldn't use it as a bellwether, but the wind started to pick up and was colder than before, so I thought I should start heading down again.  The correct trail was obvious from this end, and I poked along it for a little way before everything caught up with me and I sat down to have a little cry.

The cross is a historical artefact, and while it is not as plum or as complex as the huts, it still requires conservation.  Alarmed by the degree of erosion on the lettering, the Antarctic Heritage Trust has devised a shell to protect it from the worst of the winter winds.  That will do something, but it has already lost a lot.  When I was up there, I wondered why it hadn't ever been repainted, as the paint would go a long way to protecting it, and when the paint wore off it could just get repainted instead of eating further and further into the wood.  The raw timber is more harmonious with the environment, and I like it better aesthetically that way, as do many others I'm sure – the white cross with black letters in Debenham's photo from 1913 is very stark and artificial in such a magnificent landscape.  But it would last a lot longer.

On the other hand, generations of Antarcticans now have the cross as a touchstone, not only as their link to the history (not everyone gets to visit Cape Evans)  but as a landmark in their own experience of Antarctica.  It was personally important to the men who painted it white and put it up, but it is also personally important to hundreds, if not thousands, of people since then, who have never seen it white and don't know that's how it started, and might see the repainting as a travesty.  If it were to be conserved, to what extent would that go?  Would the letters be re-carved deeper, obliterating what remains of Davies' original work?  At what point does conservation end and adulteration begin?

The alternative is to take down the original and keep it somewhere out of the weather – Scott Base perhaps – and replace it with a replica.  Jarrah is still available, the letters could be carved afresh, it could be the bare wood everyone has known and loved for the last fifty years at least, and the original could be saved from the effects of weather once and for all.  But doesn't this defeat the intent of the original in some way, and make it – dare I say – a Disneyland version?  Do we owe more to history to keep it as it is and let the elements wear it down, or to preserve it as long as possible and do whatever might be necessary to extend the experience and historical understanding of a place, if not its authenticity?

These are all questions that curators and conservators have been grappling with for years, so I leave it to them to make the decisions.  I am grateful to have seen the original, and to have a moment to myself up there to reflect on these things, and more.  I hope, whatever happens with it in the future, Observation Hill is not de-crossed entirely.  How else will they find the way home?

[thecharlestonroyalfamily]

NOVA nightclub, Charleston downtown, 23:17PM

Minerva: Are you sure about this club? Michael: Sure! Philip assured it’s the best in town. Plus security is top notch; they don’t let any reporters in.

Minerva: If you say so. Though why are there so many... Michael: Blonds? Yeah, welcome to Charleston. *laughs* It’s their northern genetics. Minerva: I don’t know about that it somehow feels a little intentional... You sure you have nothing to do with this? Henrik: Trust me he doesn’t. This is just a really common spot for celebrities. For example the one in the leather jacket is Johnny Rocks, he’s the lead singer of Rolling Thunder. I think the guy over to the left of him is an entrepreneur though I can’t be sure. 

Minerva: Alright. What about him? Michael: That’s the new and upcoming indie director isn’t he? Henrik: Yeah, Ivar Köln. I heard he just got a big deal with Plumbob Studios over in Simmywood. Which he should’ve gotten, his films are crazy good. I need to show you one sometime.

Minerva: Oh? What genre does he work in? Henrik: All of them. Honestly I haven’t seen a bad film from him. Though he’s most know for his coming of age story “In The Woods Somewhere” and the short horror flick “Halla” Michael: I really liked the rom-com he did. The one with that actress your sister likes. Henrik: Oh you mean Hanna Eriksholm! Yeah she’s in “Above Average”. That’s a good one too. Minerva: Alright I’m gonna leave you boys to talk about your films and go fetch a drink. See you in a minute.

???: Hey. Might I offer this beautiful woman in front of me a drink?  Minerva: Hmm well that depends. Who’s asking? Lukas: Haha, I’m Lukas Lindholm. I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. You new or just visiting Miss....? Minerva: Minerva Valois. And I’m just visiting. Lukas: Well Miss Valois how about that drink? Minerva: Sure Lukas.

Michael: Hey wow check it out Hen. Minnie’s got company. Henrik: Ah that’s Lukas Lindholm. He’s a hockey player.  Michael: He any good? Henrik: Well he’s in our national team so I guess. Philip could tell you better I don’t really know about sports. Michael: Aww don’t sell yourself short babe you’re great at riding! Henrik (splutters): Michael!

In the meanwhile Minerva has moved onto the dance floor with her companion of the evening. For a moment she considers just going back to the sofa but then remembers; she’s here to have fun.

Minnie and Michael @officalroyalsofpierreland​

[lilhawkeye3]

This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy XIII Review

Year: 2009

Original Platform: PlayStation 3

Also available on: Xbox 360, PC, Android, iOS

Version I Played: PlayStation 3

Synopsis:

On the planet Cocoon, those who come into contact with anything from the planet Pulse are purged to that planet. Pulse is a feared planet full of monsters and strange creatures. Both planets are ruled by fal’Cie, mechanical godlike beings who sometimes brand humans as their servants for specific tasks, called a focus. Those who fulfill their focus are turned into crystals and obtain eternal life. Those who do not fulfill their focus turn into mindless monsters. Lightning is a former soldier whose sister, Serah, is branded by a fal’Cie and taken to be purged. Lightning sets off to rescue her.

Gameplay:

Going to say this now – the worst gameplay in the entire Final Fantasy series.

The battles are Active Time Battles but instead of you inputting individual commands, there are what’s called paradigms. Paradigms are somewhat like Job Classes from the old Final Fantasy games, except less fun and more automated. You can switch to a Medic paradigm in battle and every time you press “Auto-Battle” your character automatically performs a series of necessary cure and restore spells, based on what’s going on in the battle. The Sentinel paradigm specializes in keeping the enemy at bay. The Ravager paradigm uses magic. The Commando paradigm uses physical attacks. You get the picture.

As a result, the gameplay could be best described as:

With occasional switching of paradigms whenever you see fit. You can set up a number of combinations across the characters. Two Commandos and one Sentinel. One Sentinel and one Ravager and One Commando, etc.

The party automatically heals after each battle – you can even press start during a battle and restart the battle.

I probably only used an item once or twice. I honestly don’t see why they bothered putting any items if you hardly ever use them.

You can upgrade your weapons with pieces and junk you find after battles. You find so many of them that you hardly ever think about what you’re upgrading so long as whatever you make upgrades your stats. Is this better? No? What about this? Okay, good. Moving on.

Like Final Fantasy X, the game is linear. Much more linear. You follow a long hallway for about 30 hours of the game before you can do sidequests. The sidequests involve completing other people’s focus. That’s about it. There are no towns, no inns, no villages. You are entirely on the road, constantly in battle (Okay, there’s like one time where Sazh and Vanille are in a casino or something but that’s about it).

I wrote a blog piece a while back about what exactly was wrong with Final Fantasy XIII, and it’s not that it’s linear. We play really great linear games all the time. It’s the automation – the feeling that you’re not really doing anything.

There isn’t an ounce of customization. Leveling up is similar to the Sphere Grid of Final Fantasy X. It’s called the Crystarium but it follows a strict path. You can’t actually stray anywhere or customize anything. If that’s the case, why bother making you open the menu to level up through the Crystarium? Why not just automatically do it? I guess they want to give you some ounce (more like a milligram) of control over the game.

Basically – you’re watching a long movie and occasionally get to move the people around. That’s how I see it.

Graphics:

PLAYSTATION 3 HD GRAPHICS HOMG DO YOU HAVEA BONER YET? LOOK AT THIS. FIRST FINAL FANTASY GAME IN GLORIOUS HD.

Everything is pretty in this game. Everything. There is nothing wrong with this at all.

Story:

The characters appear to reference those in Final Fantasy VII. Director Motomu Toriyama wanted Lightning to essentially be a female Cloud Strife. She’s a no-nonsense, athletic female lead. While Cloud and Squall were introspective and antisocial, Lightning is slightly different by actively ordering people around. She comes off as a dick to everyone, and that’s due to her ex-soldier background. Think of your stereotypical ex-cop/ex-CIA/ex-military action movie hero, like Liam Neeson (Bryan Mills in Taken) or Bruce Willis (John McClane in Die Hard). That’s basically Lightning.

Can we go on a short tangent for a moment to talk about how weird it is that Lightning was also used as a model for advertising in Japan?

Here she is driving a Nissan.

And wearing Louis Vitton.

Cool? I guess? Unless you start to realize that Toriyama wanted to design his own personal waifu, and that he’s completely obsessed with her. That gets really weird. And sad? A little? Anyway.

Vanille has some reminiscent of Yuffie from Final Fantasy VII, although with more character via her inner monologues and narration. Fang is vaguely like Vincent Valentine. Sazh takes the place of Barrett as the token black dude, except instead of being aggressive he’s more like the comic relief and wants nothing to do with anything. Every time you control him, jazz music plays, because black people I guess. Hope doesn’t appear to be reminiscent of anyone – he’s just this boy who yells and complains a lot with Lightning. Snow meanwhile is a ripoff of Zell from Final Fantasy VIII, except somehow even more annoying.

(Every time I see his picture I think about your typical dude bro at a frat.)

The story starts of a bit choppy as you follow almost each character separately, then they run into each other, then separate again, then join again. The first 30 hours or so gives flashbacks of 13 days prior- BECAUSE IT’S FINAL FANTASY XIII GET IT? Vanille actually narrates some events but it’s not exactly clear why or from when – but that’s a spoiler. Along the way, I got really confused because I didn’t know why some people were fighting each other when they were on the same side a moment ago. The concept of the “focus” is really weird and sometimes confusing. People with a focus simply have visions or a general idea of what they’re supposed to do, but they don’t actually know for sure unless they actively seek it. If the gods granted them a focus, wouldn’t it make more sense if the gods just told them what to do? Seemed to work in Final Fantasy XII. 

In short, the narrative weaves around a lot. If you stop playing in the middle and pick up the game again months later, you’re bound to forget what’s going on. I know I did.

The characters didn’t annoy me as much as you would think they would on paper. They all have character development and that’s good. The only character that effectively got on my nerves was Snow. Snow is Serah’s fiancé, and Lightning hates him because of course you need some family drama. I don’t blame Lightning though. Snow shouts cheesy lines left and right, like “Heroes never die!”. He shouts Serah’s name the same way Christian Bale shouts Rachel’s name in the Christopher Nolan Batman films. Snow is quite possibly the most irritating character of all the Final Fantasy games. He will not shut the fuck up about what it means to be a hero.

The rest of the cast works well in that their motives and desires clash with each other. But I’m still sore about the wasted potential for a great character in Jihl Nabaat. Sazh wants his son Dejh back, who was taken to be purged by the sinister and extremely hot Jihl Nabaat.

 Goddaaayyyum. Seriously, look at her.

Too bad, because she’s only featured in a handful of scenes and then dies. Her death isn’t a major spoiler, at least one that I consider, because she hardly does anything except get in the way for a moment. You don’t even fight her. How lame is that?

Then you have this annoying bastard – Primarch Dysley.

When I think of him, I think of Mitch McConnell.

Old. Disagreeable. Been in power for too long. Always in the way of progress.

Primarch Dysley happens to be as annoying as Seymour from Final Fantasy X, so expect to be overjoyed every time you run into him.

Overall, the story isn’t as bad as you’d think. You just have to pay close attention. The gameplay is far worse than the story. I could easily slip into a coma while playing this game and still make it pretty far.

Music:

Final Fantasy XII saw the departure of Nobuo Uematsu (well with the exception of the pop song “Kiss Me Goodbye”). Final Fantasy XIII continues to head into the unknown without the beloved longtime composer. This game’s score is composed entirely by Masashi Hamauzu, who if you haven’t been paying attention, already partly worked on Final Fantasy X.  I immediately saw how “Saber’s Edge”, the boss theme, is similar in nature to the boss theme of Final Fantasy X.

Final Fantasy XIII made the most radical changes to the score. There are no signature themes from the series. No “Prelude” theme, no “Main Theme”, no “Victory Fanfare” theme. Instead, we get a theme called “Fabula Nova Crystallis”.  It plays frequently throughout the game, and almost acts as Serah and Snow’s love theme. In some portions of the game, some woman is singing along. Yes – this is the first time where you roam around a world in a Final Fantasy game with actual pop music playing in the background – “Sunleth Waterscape” to be exact. Final Fantasy XIII’s music gets pretty poppy.

Not saying it’s a bad idea.

Just.

You got pop music playing in the background now.

“Lightning’s Theme” is pretty sick. Her theme plays during the battles in a rendition called “Blinded by Light” – HA GET IT BECAUSE SHE’S LIGHTNING. SO CLEVER.

But Hamauzu was a good choice – the entire score holds up well and sounds like a movie score, with varying motifs running across. It can be a bit more subdued but that’s how contemporary instrumental music is nowadays, especially with film composers like Hans Zimmer.

 Notable Theme:

“Blinded by Light”

Really epic, unique song. I always scat along to it as it plays.

Verdict:

Uff. 

Look, if you just search on YouTube for all the cutscenes, there you go. That’s the game. And it’s entertaining to watch. But it has the worst gameplay that doesn’t feel like you’re even doing anything. No sense of customization or originality.

Direct Sequel?

Yes, two.

Final Fantasy XIII-2.

I started it around the time it first came out, but I’m still in the middle of playing it and I have no idea what’s going on in the story. NO idea. NONE at all. They use time travel but none of it makes sense. Apparently changing things in the future can change the past. I don’t know how. I only understand a vague semblance of a plot with the bad guy Caius. While it doesn’t tarnish the dignity of the original like Final Fantasy X-2 did, it’s still offbeat with its metal (yes, metal) music and utterly confounding story. It’s infamous for this metal rendition of the sweet and innocent Chocobo theme.

Then there’s the third game, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII

I plan on playing it after I finish Final Fantasy XIII-2, if I don’t already die from an aneurysm by then. It’s supposed to be better than Final Fantasy XIII-2 but lacking in graphics.

[thepropertylovers]

The Most Magical Day

PJ made my 30th birthday the most special one I’ve ever had. I filmed the whole thing so I could always remember it (though what I filmed doesn’t quite capture the magic and love I felt that day), so if you want to see how we spent the day in video form, you can click here and watch yesterday’s vlog. In the meantime, if you’re in a blog reading mood, here are some photos from my birthday:

We stayed at Holiday House the night before, so PJ sent me home that morning to get ready for some sort of surprise he had planned that afternoon. I will admit, it felt strange being home by myself on my birthday while my family was at Holiday House; the silence was a little too loud, but I knew PJ must have had something pretty special up his sleeve.

I walked in the front door to find this waiting for me on the dining room table:

There were flowers, money, and a note with instructions on it to watch a portion of a new show he found on The Magnolia Network called Growing Floret. I was texting him during all of this, per his instructions, letting him know when I had completed each task. It was all so exciting and thoughtful. My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe he had planned all of this.

“Standby”.

How cute is he? He then texted me a link to a video he made where he explains the big gift on the table and why it means so much to him, and why he is giving it to me for my birthday. Naturally, I cried like a baby. To find out why it’s so special, you can watch the vlog because he explains it better than I ever could.

How did I get so lucky?

After that, I hopped in the shower and got ready. I then waited in the living room until 12:30p, and right on the dot, the doorbell rang. I expected it to be PJ all dressed up to take me somewhere, but I was even more surprised when my mom opened the door!

For some reason it didn’t click what was going on, and I ridiculously told her it was such a coincidence that she happened to stop by while I was there! How did she know I was home?! (facepalm). I then put two and two together and realized SHE was the surprise! She grabbed the money on the table and said “Let’s go to lunch!”. So off we went to my favorite Italian restaurant in town, where we had appetizers and drank wine in the middle of the afternoon (something I’ve never done before!) and ate pasta and chocolate molten cake.

I haven’t eaten with my mom, alone, in an actual restaurant, in years. This was also only the second time I’ve eaten inside a restaurant in over a year (we took the kids to see their aunt a few weeks back at a place she works at and ate inside when it was slow, just to feel a resemblance of normalcy again, and it completely made our entire week).

It was funny: five minutes after sitting down, she said to me, “I want you to take a deep breath, and clear your mind. I can tell you have a million things going through your head right now but I want you to try and be present in this moment.”

And she was right. I was thinking about PJ and the kids; I was wondering what they would eat for lunch or if little sis would have an accident in her big girl panties; I was thinking of all of the emails I had to reply to that had come in in the last few hours. We have been going, going, going, for so long now that I don’t think I remembered how to just be, which I felt sad about right after she said it because when would I get the chance to be alone with my mom at a nice restaurant again? If this last year has taught us all anything, it’s that life is extremely short and nothing is permanent and every moment with a loved one should be cherished.

So I turned my phone over and let it all go for an hour or two. And it felt nice. Everything else outside of that restaurant would work itself out and be okay whenever we were finished eating. Sometimes it just takes some of your mom’s advice to remember that.

After lunch, we walked around downtown for a bit, sat on a park bench and took a selfie (at my mom’s request, which she is still trying to perfect).

We went back home and she gave me a few birthday presents, which I was not expecting! Remember when I wrote about this book? She knew how much I loved it and gave me a copy! She also ordered me a caftan because she knows how much I’ve been loving them lately, especially out at Holiday House, and she found the most perfect white linen one with short sleeves that I’ve already been living in the last few days.

Isn’t it so nice when you receive gifts you genuinely love, from people you love?

After that, she left and I stayed home for about an hour or so to get some work done in the peace and quiet, which, again, I didn’t love as much as I thought I would. We’re so used to noise and little feet and even littler feet (with our dogs and cat) running around, that I’ve gotten used to that just being a part of life’s sounds and it felt strange not hearing my family around me. Maybe one day I’ll be able to enjoy the silence more, but I’m in no rush. I quite like the beautiful chaos of being a family of five right now.

I came back to Holiday House and gave my family the biggest hugs. PJ was doing some yard work, so I put dinner in the oven and relaxed on the couch for a bit with little sis (also something I don’t get to do enough). I was somewhat out of sorts from all the food and the cake and the glass of wine (all too much too soon!), so it felt good to lay down with her for a while as she tried to guess my age. Every time I asked her how old she thought I was, she would just answer “happy birthday!” 😂.

We ate dinner and then PJ had me take a walk for a bit for one last surprise. I was honestly so flabbergasted that all of this was happening that I didn’t know what to expect. As I’ve gotten older, birthdays and celebrating them have meant less and less to me. Not because I don’t like getting older, I actually love it and was so excited to turn 30, but because there’s been a big mental shift for me last few years, really since having the kids.

I don’t so much love the attention on myself anymore, and would rather focus that energy on them (especially because they require so much of our energy right now). Does that make sense? I know I won’t always feel like this, but since we’re technically still new to parenthood (just under 2 years!), I think I’m feeling what every new parent does, and it feels right to me at this time.

I came back in from occupying myself to find streamers and balloons and Bossa Nova music playing and a big cake and cookies all over the house! It was magical. And the kids were yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY as loud as they could and it was the cutest thing ever. How did PJ do all of this in such a short amount of time? The world will never know, but I know how much it meant to me and how I will never forget that day. And it was all because of him.

Though I didn’t know what to expect, somehow my 30th birthday was exactly how I would have always wanted it. And even though we spent it in a in-the-middle-of-a-renovation trailer, in the middle of a pandemic (for the second year), it was still everything I could have imagined and so much more, and it was all thanks to PJ. I can confidently say, 11 years in, I’ve never been more in love with my husband, for reasons far greater than a birthday celebration, but that day was a solid reminder of how blessed I am with PJ.

To quote Virginia Woolfe, he is, “in every way, all that anyone could be”. He is the love of my life, and I feel very, very happy right now.

By the end of the night, we were all Alyster: tired and full. Full of gratitude and full of love and full of cake and full of life.

Thanks for coming along with us, friends. And thank you, PJ, for the most magical day. xoxo

[aj-allen97]

Zack Snyder Justice League part Six and Epilouge:

Spoilers!!!!

- The real wonder is the fact Mama Kent managed to leave a few boxes behind...is she coming back for them??? Or did she cut her loses on them???

- Does anyone even know who Bruce Wayne is??? The fact that Bruce Introduces Alfred as his boss like he’s hasn’t been introducing himself as Bruce Wayne

- Wait...hasn’t everyone veen to the batcave already??

- a sweet little filler when the whole Kent family getting back together again...

-how exactly do they explain Clark’s sudden revival from the dead??? Superman would have been easy enough to explain?? But Clark? Of no no this isn’t Clark...this is Clark’s twin brother....Mark Kent...

- Oh course Arthur would point that out - after all he does have a close relationship with his own father

- You Need to See This Cliche

- Aww Cyborg fixed the ship so sweet - now off to die!

- I love how we don’t even see Orm in the reshoots - the King of Atlantis and yet his reaction to the mother box’s going boom is not as important as Meras and Vulkos reaction

- The Fortress of Solitude and fatherly advice

- Screw the Red and Blue color scheme I’m feeling black and grey today

- Can’t tell if Superman is one step away from becoming Justice Lord Superman or not....

- I will admit I’m glad the family filler was cut out - they weren’t the only family I’m sure and yet they got prime time

- Well that was easy...

- I am really really hoping this town is abandoned in this version because the implication that it might not be is quite frankly terrifying for some reason

- Victor put all that effort in repairing that plane and giving her wings back only for Bruce to once again clipped them

- The Batmobile vs paradeamons scene is pretty BA tbh - and gore-y

- So can Wonder Women fly? I feel like the context of her powers changes with each new film

- Arthur...I don’t think that’s how gravity works....

- Hehe Batman’s ejector seat

- Apparently none of these paradeamons know how to properly shoot - they must have learn to shoot at the same place storm troopers learn to shoot

- I love Batman’s little shaded googles

- Holy Moly Mama Currys triton has game in this version, To bad Arthur didn’t have that triton by the time his own film came around

- Diana I love you and you are way more awesome in this version - and your theme music? *chefs kiss*

- ooh the creepy spider arms are back

- Don’t listen to him Diana he’s full of smoke and lies

- Poor baby - victor get you butt in gear and put Barry out of his misery

- Woohoo Go Superman Go!!!

- Not so tough without your ax now?

- WooHoo superpower team up!!! Wonder Woman, Superman and Aquaman for the win!!!

- That must’ve hurt!

- No Barry No! Poor baby is hurt and probably panicking

- Mother Goodness looks much more terrifying here then in any animated versions Iv seen

- What are you up to Barry?

- speed force???

- It is the Speed Force!!!

- Now the real question did the super nova blast kill even Superman? Diana? Aquaman?? It definitely kill Batman and Cyborg? But what about those three?

- It did kill even those three!?! Wow what a blast!

- also slightly freeky seeing them being put back together again from the molecule up

- Do Not Fall for this!! Not after what Barry went through for you!

- Hell yeah you ain’t broken!!! And hell yeah you ain’t alone!!! The Justice League is your family now! Never forget!

- Hell Yeah Aquaman and Wonderman show Darksied and his minions the Justice Leave means business!!!

- Was Steppenwolf horn things hollow??? Weird?

- Also Darksied castle is a good creepy - love the color scheme and decor not gonna lie

- The Ship Still Flies!!!

- Every One (except Batman) is wearing a darker color version of their comics counter parts costumes that I’m getting serious Justice Lords vibes

- It’s a good thing Papa Stone didn’t throw that out when he found it broken

- Why not swim?? Wouldn’t that be faster??

- So would Bruce technically be the teams own version of Daddy Warbucks??? There are many orphans and half orphans within the team technically...

- Look how Proud and Happy Papa Allen is of Barry! Sooo sweet!

- “I bough the Bank” tbh the best flex ever not gonna lie

- It was nice to show Diana being homesick for a moment - shows that she’s still coping and all

- I love how Barry has officially embraced his powers and became a superhero who enjoys his job

- Soooo...how did they explain Clark’s sudden revival?!? The Whole Yeah Clark is dead but I’m His Twin Mark???

- Like your telling me No one was curious on how both Clark and Superman were dead and now both alive now?? No one put two and two together???

- Gotham Home of Emotionally Troubled hahahaha

- Finally A Villain puts two and two together!!!

- So that’s what Earth would have looked like it Steppenwolf won...huh...

- I’m guessing this is the same Vision Cyborg had were Arthur and Diana were dead and Superman is Evil???

- Apparently every Gotham Villain knows Batman secret identity- not for sure why - after all he’s so good at keeping it under wraps 🙄

- Poor Rose??? .... Superman’s daughter? A nickname for Lois??? A quote from a sitcom?

- So was this a what if Steppenwolf won?? A altered reality where Steppenwolf won and how Batman keeps sending Flash back in time to prevent it???

- The third loved Joker was gonna mention was Jason Todd’s Robin - so that means there were more robins before Jason

- I’m guessing Joker killed Harley and Batman was there for her final moments? Or someone killed Harley because of her connections to Joker??

- The Badges on Jokers tactical vest are probably trophies

- And Evil Superman is wearing his iconic red and blue super suite

- OH OH Martian Manhunter!!!!! We’re where you earlier?!?

- ehh better late then never

-Bruce has zero cares about his secret identity

- Bruce you could have offered him some coffee or tea! Alfred raised you better then that!

[omgjasminesimone]

Okay but... how did Raleigh win Cadence back? Greedy and curious minds want to know!

A/N: Raleigh’s song is actually Think About You by Jojo

Word Count: ~1300

...

Raleigh knew their paths would cross again eventually. With his tour over, and her press run for that terrible Chadley Fortnum movie completed, they’re both back in Manhattan. It was inevitable that Raleigh Carrera and Cadence Dorian would end up in the same place on an island of only 22.8 square miles.

Still, despite the inevitability, Raleigh is not ready to talk to her. Especially not after baring his soul in his new single, which has already shot to the top of the charts in the five days since it’s been released.

He steals another look at her from across the crowded lounge. It seems everyone who’s anyone has turned up for Ozone’s newest artist’s launch. But in a room full of stars, she still shines brighter than anyone else.

She’s so beautiful, especially in that dress. Raleigh’s eyes drink her in greedily, thinking about all that perfect unblemished skin beneath her clothes. She laughs at whatever Avery is saying, playfully pushing against the singer’s strong shoulder. Raleigh laments the fact that he can’t hear her tinkling laugh from across the room over the music.

As if she can feel him staring, Cadence suddenly looks right over Avery’s shoulder and meets Raleigh’s gaze.

Raleigh quickly breaks eye contact, downing the rest of his tequila. This was a bad idea. He should get out of here.

Before he can escape, Ryder Kohli claps him heartily on the back. “Raleigh Carrera! Long time no see! Where you’ve been?”

Raleigh shrugs. “Around.” He answers vaguely.

“Come on man, talk to me. How’s your foot? The paparazzi shots were gnarly.” Ryder tries to keep the conversation going.

Raleigh looks down at his recently un-casted foot. “I still have a couple more weeks of physical therapy, but it feels pretty good. And it gave me an excuse to sit through the rest of my tour, so that was a nice perk.”

Ryder laughs, clapping Raleigh heartily on the back again. “That’s one silver lining. Bet it also got the creative juices flowing. Congrats on the number 1 by the way. Think about you is definitely my favorite song of your’s since Famous.”

“Thanks.” Raleigh replies, glancing at Cadence again. She’s talking to Ozone now.

“All my friends keep telling me I just need to fuck someone new. Whatever I, ever I do, I’m gonna, I’m gonna think of you.” Ryder sings, concluding with a smile. “That shit is fire man.”

“Glad you liked it.” Raleigh mutters, looking for a way out of this conversation.

“Freedom, Ozone’s new artist, she did a cover which went viral. Did you hear it?” Ryder keeps talking.

“Nah, I’ve been avoiding the internet.” Raleigh answers. He knows the fans are likely picking the song apart, looking into the charred remains of his and Cadence’s relationship. He’s not ready to dive into all that just yet.

“Well, you’re in luck. Looks like she’s about to sing it now.” Ryder gestures up to the small lounge stage, where Freedom is getting set up.

“Wait, she’s what?!” Raleigh asks, just as the lights go dark and the stage is illuminated.

“Thank you so much for coming out tonight New York! This is an amazing introduction to so many people in the industry who I’ve looked up to for so long. I really can’t believe I’m here in the same room with such talented people. I mean, it’s insane. Ozone is such an amazing producer, and he has such great things he’s working on for me. But none of those things are ready yet, so tonight I’d like to cover one of my favorite songs of the moment, Think About You by Raleigh Carrera.” Freedom introduces.

Ryder leans over to whisper. “I don’t think she knows both you and Cadence are here man.”

Raleigh can’t help but wonder if Freedom does in fact know. Maybe she cut some deal with some trashy gossip site who’s going to film both him and Cadence during this very awkward moment. They’d have a field day if he stormed out now before it started. He’s trapped.

“I’ve been trying to move on, and it’s obvious that I can’t. It was my fault we’re broken, but I can’t let go of hoping, so I leave my door wide open.” Freedom sings.

Raleigh can’t help but glance over at Cadence as Freedom gets to the chorus. “All my friends keep telling me I just need to fuck someone new. Whatever I, ever I do, I’m gonna, I’m gonna think of you.”

Cadence is looking at him too, and he sees a whirlwind of emotion behind her penetrating eyes.

“So if it seems like somebody took your spot well that’s just not true. Whatever I, ever I do, I’m gonna, I’m gonna think of you.” Freedom continues.

Tears start to well in Cadence’s eyes. God, there’s nothing Raleigh hates more than to see Cadence cry, especially when he knows he’s responsible for her tears. ‘I’m sorry.’ He mouths to her.

Freedom finishes the song, and as everyone is distracted Cadence takes the opportunity to slip out of the room.

Raleigh ignores whatever Ryder is saying, hurrying after Cadence. He just catches her rounding the corner and sneaking onto an unoccupied balcony. He follows her frenzied path out into the cold air.

She shivers as she stands at the stone railing, but she makes no move to return to the warmth inside. Raleigh shrugs out of his leather jacket, slowly making his way over to her. She spots him out of the corner of her eye, her gaze remains steely. He offers her the jacket, but she makes no move to take it.

“Were you thinking about me when you were grinding on that model on top of the bar?” Cadence asks. He can’t tell from her flat tone if that’s even a serious question.

“Yes.” He decides to answer honestly.

Cadence scoffs, turning to head back inside.

Before he can think better of it, Raleigh reaches out to stop her with a firm grip on her delicate wrist. And damn, it feels good to touch her again. “I’m always thinking about you. And about how it was so fucking stupid of me to ruin everything just because I wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable with you.” He elaborates.

“You could have called me you know. Or returned any of my calls. Hell, a text would have been better than five months later, out of the blue, hearing you tell the whole world things you never told me. For what exactly? Clout?” Cadence counters, attempting to wrench her wrist away.

“That song isn’t for the world. It’s for you. I didn’t know how to say any of those things to you. Music is easier, it’s always been easier.” Raleigh explains.

He releases her wrist since she’s no longer trying to get away from him. He automatically misses her smooth skin. “Cadence, I’m in love with you.” Raleigh finally admits, to both her and himself for the first time.

Tears well in her eyes, again. But this time, he’s pretty sure they’re happy tears. He’s completely sure they’re happy tears when she reaches up to cup his stubbled cheeks, pulling him down into a kiss.

Raleigh lets out a relieved sigh into her parted mouth as he deepens the kiss, one hand tangling into her hair.

By the time they pull away from each, just barely, he’s kissed away all her supposedly kiss proof lipstick. “I love you too.” Cadence reveals, eyes shining.

She buries her face into his chest, and lets him slip his jacket onto her before he hugs her tightly. “But I’m still releasing the angry break up song I wrote about you. It’s totally going to knock Think About You down to number 2.” Cadence insists.

...

Companion pieces here

tags:

@furiouscloddonutpeanut​ @maxwellshippo​ @maxismademedoit​ @polishchoicesfan​ @ccolz88-blog​ @thisperfectmemory​ @lovedrakewalker​ @ohsnapitzlovehacker​ @dynamassxl​ @thefirstcourtesan​ @cordoniasmost​@lovehugsandcandy​ @lilyofchoices​ @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl​@brightpinkpeppercorn​ @nitta-jaeguet​ @cora-nova​ @choicesgremlin​ @desireepow-1986​ @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @lunalixo @anxious-arliah @n-whas

[aion-rsa]

Are All Marvel Villains Androids, Aliens, or Wizards?

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It is now T-minus one week until the long-awaited premiere of Marvel’s next Disney+ series, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, on March 19. To mark the show’s impending arrival, Marvel is ramping up its publicity game and unleashing new trailers and clips of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in action.

In one such clip, released today, Sam shares an interesting theory with his rival/counterpart Bucky. Give it a look below to see what we mean. 

“The Big Three – androids, aliens, wizards. Every time we fight, we fight one of the three,” Sam says.

Bucky tries to challenge Sam’s assertion by pointing out there are no wizards. Sam immediately counters with Doctor Strange. “A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat.” 

Fair play, Falcon! The conversation ends there but Sam might be onto something with his theory of The Big Three. But just like any good theory, it needs some strenuous scientific testing. Let’s do that testing right now by looking back at the big bad of every MCU film released thus far (plus the studio’s first official television effort, WandaVision) to see which villains can be categorized as: androids, aliens, wizards, or other. 

Obadiah Stane (Iron Monger)

Movie: Iron Man Villain Type: ANDROID

Obadiah Stane isn’t a literal android. He is a flesh and blood human being underneath all that Iron Monger armor. But viewing him as an android seems in keeping with the spirit of Sam Wilson’s Big Three argument. Let’s just give The Falcon a win out of the gate.

Emil Blonsky (Abomination)

Movie: The Incredible Hulk Villain Type: OTHER

Like The Hulk, himself, Abomination is an enhanced human rage monster. He has no mechanical parts, so he is not an Android. He also comes from Earth, so he is not an alien. If we wanted to be suuuuuuper generous, we could say the gamma rays that created both The Hulk and Abomination are so scientifically advanced that they may as well be magic, making him a wizard. But that’s too much of a stretch. Emil is in the “Other” category.

Ivan Vanko (Whiplash)

Movie: Iron Man 2 Villain Type: OTHER

If Ivan Vanko decided to completely cover his body with Iron Monger-style armor, we may have an argument for Android. But really, he’s just a mad scientist who loves his bird. One could also make the argument that Justin Hammer is the real villain of Iron Man 2. That’s a fair point but it leads to the same result: “Other.”

Loki

Movie: Thor Villain Type: WIZARD

Wait, why isn’t Loki an alien? He comes from a different world in outer space, whether that be Asgard or Jotunheim. It’s important to remember, however, that Loki isn’t an alien to the other Asgardian characters in Thor. Instead, let’s call him a Wizard due to his advanced magical capabilities. 

Johann Schmidt (Red Skull)

Movie: Captain America: The First Avenger Villain Type: OTHER

Red Skull does like to meddle in the magic of the Tesseract. He also has a very wizardly appearance when he is cast off to Vormir. A wizardly appearance does not a wizard make though. Johann Schmidt is an augmented human being just like Steve Rogers or Bruce Banner. 

Loki

Movie: The Avengers Villain Type: ALIEN

Surprise! Loki is a Wizard in Thor but an Alien in The Avengers. That’s because the perspective of The Avengers is mostly Earthbound. And to we mortals on Earth, Loki really is an alien leading a War of the Worlds-style invasion in New York.

Aldrich Killian

Movie: Iron Man 3 Villain Type: ANDROID

Aldrich Killian certainly doesn’t have the look of an Android. But due to the amount of Extremis genetic manipulation his body has endured, he is basically more machine than man. And if you’re tempted to say “Aldrich Killian can’t be an android! He has human sentience and intelligence” then you’re gonna have to keep that same energy when we get to Ultron.

Malekith

Movie: Thor: The Dark World Villain Type: ALIEN

Malekith is a hard one to nail down. We’ve already established that Loki can’t be an alien in Thor because he’s a peer to his fellow Asgardians (even if he is a Frost Giant). Given that Malekith comes from another one of the Nine Realms, Svartalfheim, it’s fair to call him an Alien.

Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier)

Movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier Villain Type: ANDROID

Look, the rules are pretty loose here. You have your memory wiped and you get a vibranium arm? Android. Technically, Alexander Pierce and the compromised SHIELD are the real villains of this movie. But bear in mind that Sam Wilson says that everyone they fought falls into one of those three categories. It’s Bucky who does the lion’s share of fighting in this film.

Ronan the Accuser

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Villain Type: ALIEN

This is another tough one. Would Ronan the Accuser be considered an alien among his galactic peers? Given that the Kree Empire is a rival to the Nova Empire, let’s go ahead and alienize Ronan. 

Ultron

Movie: Avengers: Age of Ultron Villain Type: ANDROID

Duh.

Darren Cross (Yellowjacket)

Movie: Ant-Man Villain Type: OTHER

If the Iron Monger armor makes Obadiah Stane an Android, then why doesn’t the Yellowjacket suit make Darren Cross an Android? Great question! The answer is…I don’t know. Hank Pym’s shrinking technology just seems like more of a tool for human beings than an at-times autonomous piece of armor. 

Helmut Zemo

Movie: Captain America: Civil War Villain Type: OTHER

Helmut Zemo is a disaffected Sokovian radical. He does not fit any of the other three categorizations. 

Kaecilius

Movie: Doctor Strange Villain Type: WIZARD

Duh.

Ego

Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Villain Type: ALIEN

Sure, a sentient Celestial planet is an alien.

Adrian Toomes (The Vulture)

Movie: Spider-Man: Homecoming Villain Type: OTHER

Adrian Toomes is not only just a human being, he might be one of the MCU’s most human villains. To the “Other” category with you, Vulture. 

Hela

Movie: Thor: Ragnarok Villain Type: WIZARD

As the all-powerful goddess of death, Hela defies easy categorization. But you know what? If Thor-era Loki falls under the category of Wizard, then so too does Hela. 

Erik Stevens (Killmonger)

Movie: Black Panther Villain Type: OTHER

Human. Very human. 

Thanos

Movie: Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame Villain Type: ALIEN

Thanos is the big bad of the MCU’s Infinity Saga. He’s also a consummate alien invader. He comes from the stars to wipe out half of all life on Earth. Well, he wipes out half of all life in the universe, but it’s the former that matters to our Earthly perspective.

Ava Starr (Ghost)

Movie: Ant-Man and the Wasp Villain Type: OTHER

Whenever Pym particles and advanced levels of technology are involved, you always want to at least give consideration to “Android.” But “Other” is still very much the answer here. Ava Starr isn’t even really the main villain of Ant-Man and the Wasp so much as she is a victim. Perhaps she should be omitted entirely from the villain discussion.

Yon-Rogg

Movie: Captain Marvel Villain Type: ALIEN

Since Carol Danvers is our protagonist and Captain Marvel is told from her perspective, it’s safe to call Jude Law’s Yon-Rogg an alien. 

Quentin Beck (Mysterio)

Movie: Spider-Man: Far From Home  Villain Type: OTHER

Quentin Beck is a normal human being and therefore an “Other.” I’m just realizing something now though – why did Quentin Beck go by his real name to Talos (posing as Nick Fury) and Peter Parker? Surely, he has Stark Industries listed on his LinkedIn page. Could the entire plot of this movie have been avoided if anyone thought to run a Google search on this guy who claims he’s from another dimension?

Agatha Harkness

Show: WandaVision Villain Type: WIZARD

Who’s the wizard lady pulling every evil string? It was Agatha All Along!

Results

This all leads to the Marvel villain final tally of…

ALIEN – 6 ANDROID – 4 WIZARD – 4 OTHER – 9

It looks like Sam Wilson almost has the right of it. More than half of Marvel villains can be described as androids, aliens, or wizards. But the “Other” option is bigger than any single one of those three categories. 

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from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3exP9ex

[palmtreepalmtree]

Alright, this one is long overdue for an anonymous friend who really wanted me to review The Healer.  So after a short pause, here is another edition of

The Worst Movie on Netflix Right Now™

Heavy sigh.

Alright.  Let’s talk about this one.  

First off, I have to do some pretty serious content warnings, cause I know some people have been receiving some bad news recently and this review goes someplace you might not expect so, I love you guys, but please be aware that this review deals with: cancer, terminal illness, kids with cancer.  

Now back to the bullshit.

This is basically a movie about a fucking dumbass dude who has trouble making obvious decisions.  

SPOILERS AHEAD (are you new here?)

The main character Alec Bailey, begins the film as a total fuckwit.  He lives in England (somewhere about) and owns a failing electronic handyman business that he calls “The Healer” (in the most pathetic stretch of narrative bullshit, but okay) and is in deep gambling debts to the Russian mob. 

As our story begins, Alec discovers that he has a long lost rich uncle who makes him an offer: the uncle will pay off Alec’s debts if he agrees to live in Nova Scotia for a year.  The uncle will make all the arrangements: plane ticket, work visa, place to live, etc.  All Alec has to do is stay in Nova Scotia for a year.

OH NO!  WHATEVER SHALL I DO?!?  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IN REMOTE NOVA SCOTIA FOR A YEAR AFTER ALL MY FINANCIAL CONCERNS ARE TAKEN CARE OF?  

HOWEVER WILL I SURVIVE IN SUCH A HORRIBLE PLACE?11?!?

I BETTER THINK IT OVER.

*eyeroll*

He finally makes his decision after getting chased by mobsters trying to collect on his debts.  ...like I said.  He’s a fuckwit.

So he moves into this beautiful house in Nova Scotia.  There’s no internet, which is a legit bummer, but his uncle has arranged a car for him to get to town.  Seems like a pretty good gig.  Even if it is going to be brutally cold come the winter months.  

Well as soon as Alec arrives in town, everyone seems to know and be expecting him.  He puts an ad out for his mechanical engineering services, again, under the name “The Healer.”  Well........... that goes awry in ways you would expect.  Suddenly, people start showing up requesting his physical healing services.

The thing is, the people from town seem to expect him to actually be a healer.  They keep referring to a secret and to him being “the chosen one.”  There’s no explanation for this.

Then there’s like... this whole weird interlude where Alec seems to kill the town priest, played by Jorge Ramirez (can someone please find this dude a good acting gig? my dude has decent comedic timing, he’s better than this shit). And Alec gets arrested.  Even though the priest got up and walked away.  All of this seems like a weird spinning of wheels before the actual plot.  Like why is this happening.  Why?  

Eventualllllllly......... his uncle shows back up and fesses up (in the most elaborate way possible).  People in his family have a gift.  Every other generation, someone is chosen.  And they have the gift of healing.  Based solely on being near to someone who is destined to be saved.

The gift can only be activated around their 30th birthday (if this sounds unnecessarily elaborate, that’s because it is -- and I’m even cutting shit out like the secret basement and portraits on the wall, blahblahblah).  The day after the birthday, the chosen one must decide.  They can choose to accept or decline the gift of healing.  Alec is given until midnight that night to make his decision.  WILL HE BE THE CHOSEN ONE?  WILL HE BE THE HEALER?!?!1?1

I mentioned that Alec is a fuckwit right?  

*Hagrid voice* YOU’RE A FUCKWIT, ALEC!

*squints*

Annnnnnyhow.  Alec goes to the town church where everyone is gathered at midnight (with thank you signs and a big round of applause) and he dashes their hopes.  HE WILL NOT BE THE HEALER, NO!  Even though it comes with no readily apparent downsides or costs.  And he’d be able to relieve the suffering of others with no cost to himself.  No, fuck it.  He’s going to go home.

The town takes it pretty well, all things considered.  The few people who had already been healed by being near him make speeches of gratitude.  They all wish him a happy birthday and tell him he’s welcome to stay.  Like these people are insanely understanding about him declining the gift of healing.  INSANE.

It’s worth noting that we’re about halfway through the movie at this point and we haven’t met one of the main characters of the movie.  

IN COMES ABIGAIL.  Cancer kid extraordinaire.  She is 14 years old.  Her parents have driven 7 hours to see Alec.  Their daughter is dying of terminal cancer, and all they want is for Alec to spend some time with her and give it a shot.  But she’s a pretty self-possessed kid.  She convinces the reluctant Alec to just hangout with her for the weekend to buck up her parents and give her parents some hope.  She doesn’t believe in the healing, so no harm, no foul.

And finally we’ve hit the meat of our story.  Will Alec be able to save Abigail now that he’s declined the gift?  Will he regret it?  WHY DID HE DECLINE THE GIFT!?1?

SPOILERS (really can’t discuss this movie without them)

It turns out, Alec had a brother who died of cancer.  And they were incredibly close.  In Alec’s words, “he was my everything.”  But now he deeply regrets giving up the gift.  Now he’s worried he can’t save Abigail.

You know what, man?  Same.

SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TURN DOWN THE GIFT!??!?

Listen.  Listen, listen.  I don’t know a single person who has been touched by cancer who wouldn’t jump at the chance to have a healing gift.  I mean, what the fuck.  Death sucks.  Losing someone you love from any kind of illness sucks.  Especially when it feels even remotely too soon.  And cancer is a particular type of FUCKING BULLSHIT.  It sucks.  

So it’s really fucking hard to understand why this FUCKWIT turns down the gift to begin with.  Death and suffering is not abstract for him when this movie starts!  So why we should feel sorry for his resulting anxiety, now that he has met someone who is directly negatively affected by his fucking BAD DECISION.

Anyhow, the rest of the movie is basically an exercise in how charming Abigail is and how much fun we can have with her before she goes off to die. Which like......... OH-FUCKING-KAY!

It should go without saying that this movie has a happy ending.  The music swells where it should.  The romance is consummated.  Abigail is healed.  All is going to be well with the world.

As a movie, this one has some weird fucking choices.  First, all of the music cues in this movie are just wrong.  “Faith” by George Michael is not a song about believing in something --- unless that something is having sex with someone who hurt you before.  And the lighting in this film is so beautiful all the time, it looks like you’re in a fucking ciallis commercial, even when you’re in the freaking police station, wtf?  

And last, the writing is just weird in places.  Like why have the love interest lie about being a lesbian through 90% of the film?  Why?  It’s not a good joke!  And  It is COMPLETELY fucking baffling to me why the good news of this story is delivered off-screen instead of on-screen.  If Abigail is going to be okay, why couldn’t she come back to Nova Scotia to tell him?  Why couldn’t she deliver that news in person!?  That’s just bad writing.  What the fuck is that?

But whatever.  

On the credit side, I think Oliver Jackson Cohen knows what he’s doing as an actor.  He’s not Oscar-worthy yet, but I believed him.  When he talks about his brother, I felt that.  And that could not have been easy in such a fucking weird script.

But as much as I’d like to end this review right here, there’s more.  Cause...

..........that’s not where the movie ends.  Not entirely.

As the end music plays, the movie is dedicated to Paul Newman who established summer camps for seriously ill kids.  And then we see images and videos of the kids all over the world enjoying activities at these camps.  

And that’s where this critique stops.  Sorta.  Paul Newman was a legitimately good person.  And his legacy of caring for sick kids carries on to this day, as was evident from all the footage.

But here’s the thing: healing as it’s depicted in this movie does not exist.  But easing the suffering of others does.  I wish this movie had been about that.  I wish it had been less focused on miracles and weird family legacies and selfish fuckwits and more about the kind of healing that Paul practiced.  But I guess that movie isn’t as fun, and it isn’t as hopeful and uplifting.

In the non-movie version of this story, Abigail Bryant died in 2014 at the age of 20.  Her obituary still appears online.  And it is still receiving comments and photos from cancer survivors and fighters, many of them who found her through the film.  And they talk about how the movie touched them.

On that level, it doesn’t matter what I say here.  It doesn’t matter that there are weird parts of this script or that healing like this is a fantasy.  This movie does its job.  It touches people.  And if it inspires just a few more people to give money to help relieve suffering, then that’s all that matters.

Ronald McDonald House Charities Cancer Research Institute Hole in the Wall Gang (Paul Newman’s org) Serious Fun Children’s Network (established by Paul Newman)

[rawiswhore]

Various ECW Wrestlers x Fem Reader- "Flash Funk"

The year 2000 would be the last year before a wrestling company known as ECW would go out of business.

It was one of your dreams to guest star on ECW because that company had some hot men you'd love to have moments with, both on television and off, and you finally did get your chance to appear on ECW at the end of the year 2000.

In November of that aforementioned year, Scott Hall, yes, THAT Scott Hall who played Razor Ramon during in the World Wrestling Federation, made a guest appearance on ECW.

During the same time Scott had appeared on ECW, during an episode, you were walking to the locker room wearing nothing but a pair of dark colored leather pants and open toed stiletto heels.

Your long hair was covering your breasts and censoring your nipples from being shown on television.

You wore hair extensions that were glued and attached to cover your nipples and areolas from being shown on TV.

Males' (both grown men and underage boys) eyes grew wide in shock seeing you walk with your long hair covering your breasts, many of them hoping you have a nip slip.

The camera was filming you walking down a hallway to a locker room, only for the camera to cut to filming you from behind strolling to the locker room, filming behind your head and back.

As you entered the men's locker room, Scott Hall, Rob Van Dam, EZ Money, Joey Matthews and Mikey Whipwreck were either talking to one another or minding their own business, putting their clothes in locker rooms or sitting on the bench while putting their boots on.

Their peripheral vision saw you topless entering the locker room, which interrupted their conversation and their eyes looked at you.

These men were speechless seeing you walk into the locker room topless, although they've seen you naked before.

Their eyes grew wide and they bit their bottom lips in sexual arousal, Rob and EZ Money nodded their heads a little bit and smiled whereas Scott Hall made a silly "wolf whistle" at you.

You grinned naughtily while looking at them.

"I bet you boys wanna see what's under here" you suggested to them, grinning at them while having your hands behind your strands of hair covering your tits.

"Yeah!" some of them said while nodding their heads and smiling at you.

Although, they've seen your bare breasts before, they shouldn't be acting like they've never seen your tits.

Your hands flipped and tossed your hair over your shoulders, where your hair that previously covered your breasts now was dangling over your shoulder blades.

Scott, Rob, EZ, Joey and Mikey were all staring at your tits, your nipples and areolas weren't covered by anything, not even nipple pasties.

EZ and Joey were biting their bottom lips, Mikey's eyes grew wide and his mouth was agape, whereas Scott was grinning while his hands were making gestures like he wanted to grab your breasts.

They didn't wolf whistle at your tits, though they wanted to, especially Scott.

You turned your head to the camera and said this.

"Unlike Edge and Christian" you said "I'm not showing them my tits for 5 seconds"

You then turned your head back in front of these wrestlers ogling at your breasts.

"Can I touch them?" Scott asked you.

"Mmmmhmmm!" you accepted, nodding your head and smiling.

Scott grinned while his hands approached your nipples, where his fingers, instead of squeezing your breasts, he locked your nipples in his big fingers and tweaked them.

Despite the camera filming you from behind and not showing your breasts, the camera was filming Scott's hands looking like they're tweaking your nipples.

"You've got such a cute widdle baby face" you gushed, lifting one of your hands and pinching Mikey's cheek.

Mikey was trying to keep a straight face and not burst into laughter.

"You guys can touch me anywhere else if you want" you suggested to these other men in the locker room, and Rob, EZ, Joey and Mikey smiled while they walked closer to you.

Mikey put his hands on both of your leather covered ass cheeks and squeezed them, which made you turn your head and look at him, whereas Joey, EZ and Rob's hands roamed down your hips.

"Mmmmmmm, Scott" you moaned while you leaned your head back and bit your bottom lip, rolling your eyes to the top of your head only for your eyelids to shut your eyes after.

You then pressed your torso onto Scott Hall's hairy torso, opening your eyes and placing one of your hands on his chest.

He wasn't wearing a shirt, showing off his iconic hairy chest.

"I'm feeling a little cold" you purred, trying to sound sexy. "Won't you keep me warm with your hairy body?"

Your hand caressed up and down the middle of his chest, his chest hair getting combed in between your fingers.

"I'll do anything for you, chica" he purred back at you, smiling and looking at you while he wrapped one of his arms around your waist.

"You're so big and tall" you gushed, your eyes elevating up and down at his body to his face, he much taller than you are.

"You're right" he admitted, smirking while he said that. "I don't think a lil' chica like you can handle someone as big as me"

If y'know what he means...

He's still trying to play Razor Ramon.

"I can" you admitted, your eyes looking up at his face.

Your hand grabbed the collar of Rob Van Dam's singlet and pulled him to you.

"You've got some hair on your chest" you mentioned, turning your head and saying that to Rob, your hand grabbing the collar of his singlet now caressing up and down the middle of his chest, feeling his chest hair. "Maybe you can keep me warm with that chest hair too".

You could always, well, put some clothes on, but you're obviously trying to seduce a threesome with Scott and Rob.

Or even a gangbang...

Chest hair won't keep you warm, but whatever.

Rob smiled when you said that to him, his hands moving to the straps of his singlet and pulling them down his arms.

He wrapped his arms around you and got behind you, moving Mikey out of the way.

"Can I keep you warm too?" EZ Money asked. "Even if I don't have chest hair?"

"Mmmmhmmm!" you replied, nodding your head.

"What about us?" Mikey asked, pointing to himself and Joey.

"Yeah" you suggested, sounding slightly skeptical about Mikey keeping you warm.

He is a little chubby, but he does have a cute face.

At least he looks better than Justin Credible.

EZ Money, Joey and Mikey huddled up closer to you, you had a smile spreading from ear to ear as they approached closer to you and wrapped their arms around you.

The camera then eventually cut to something else, much to the dismay of people wanting to see you get gangbanged.

You would let Nova in on this moment, the same Nova that would play Simon Dean the fitness guru a decade later in the WWE, but Nova looked terrible at the end of the year 2000 with that facial hair.

Raven, another formally sexy ECW alumni, is over in the World Wrestling Federation at the end of the year 2000, so is Stevie Richards.

Spike Dudley is probably the one Dudley Brother that actually is pretty cute, he's probably even the cutest one.

But...you didn't flash him in this segment.

Why?

Well, some could say he isn't much to look at.

He does look like a goofball when he makes those silly faces and wears those plastic glasses with tape tied around them, but if you took away the tie-dye shirts, overalls, plastic glasses and stupid facial expressions he is a cute guy.

Then again, Mikey Whipwreck isn't much to look at, though in some shots he does have a handsome face and even looks a little bit like a cross between Dean Ambrose during his CZW days and My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way in 2010.

You were skeptical in whether or not to put Mikey in this segment.

You didn't include Christian York, Joey Matthews' wrestling partner, in this segment, because Christian does have somewhat of an ugly face.

Christian York isn't that bad looking, but there is something rather ugly about his face, though you did think of putting him in this moment.

Later on, you were a valet that actually walked into the ECW ring with your long hair extensions covering your nipples and areolas.

You basically walked to the ECW ring topless and cheered Scott Hall while you were topless, but your tits were censored by your hair.

[gigi-sinclair]

Like and Subscribe (rated T)

This is entirely for @draculas-gay-daughter, because of this.

Also, the research for this has awakened in me an actual desire to learn to make candles, so thanks for that new quarantine hobby!

It's like, what do they call it, ASMR.

That's what Edward tells himself. Some people find it relaxing to watch strangers pop plastic wrap or flick dry paint brushes or whatever. He happens to find it relaxing to watch Tom Jopson talk about the intricacies of making candles.

He doesn't know how he first landed on “Brighten Your Day With Candles.” Some winding path of Youtube “recommended videos” he wouldn't be able to retrace if he tried, but the moment he found it, Edward was entranced. He watched every one of Tom's ten-to-twenty minute long videos immediately.

Nine months and thirty-four new videos later—Tom took off the weeks of Christmas and New Year's, leaving Edward bereft over the holidays—Edward understands no more about candle making than he did before. Tom, however, is endlessly fascinating.

Edward can't say exactly what it is he finds so alluring. Tom is handsome, with his flopping dark hair and his five o'clock shadow, but Edward sees handsome men all the time. He's clearly very intelligent, but Edward works with some of the biggest minds, not to mention egos, in the country.

There is something else, something which leaves Edward unable to look away. When Tom says, “Adding too much fragrance can, unfortunately, lead to curdling in soy candles” with a look of heart-wrenching empathy in his big eyes, Edward wants to gather him in his arms and give the man a good, solid hug. When he says, “I had news from viewer Jamie in Nova Scotia that they've solved their ongoing issue with wet spots!” Edward wants to kiss him in celebration. And when Tom leans forward, the V-neck of his shirt revealing a patch of dark chest hair, to confide, “Today, we're going to talk about the length of your wick,” Edward offers up a mental apology and reaches for his fly.

Edward thinks his obsession is secret, until one evening his flatmate George says, “Thanks for staying out when I had Emily over the other night.”

“It's fine.” It is in Edward's best interests not to be about when George and his girlfriend get together. There is only so much saccharine sweetness and over-the-top pet names he can handle.

“I really appreciate it. So does she. We wanted to get you a gift.” It's only then Edward notices the bag, printed with pink flowers and the words “It's a Girl!”, in George's hand. “Sorry about the bag,” he adds. “It was the only one I could find.”

Where? Is the question Edward doesn't ask. “That's not necessary, George. Really.”

“Open it!”

Edward tries not to sigh as he opens the gift bag. George's gift-giving history, while admirable in its efforts, is remarkably poor in its execution. The last thing Edward needs is another “Purrrrrfect Friend” mug with a cat’s tail as a handle, or a T-shirt with a Sasquatch on it. It's the thought that counts, he reminds himself, even if that thought is, when it comes to George, quite often incomprehensible.

This gift is just as strange. Edward stares at what appear to be squares of white wax, a roll of string, and several tiny bottles, until George, still smiling, explains, “It was Emily's idea. I told her how you're always watching that candle making channel on Youtube, and she said you're probably dying to give it a go yourself.” He looks at Edward, his expression expectant. “It's great, right?”

“Right.” Edward smiles. “It is. Great. Thanks, mate.”

The next day, Edward buys a pair of headphones.

***

One Wednesday nearly a year after Edward first found him, Tom finishes a talk about gel wax, then leans back on his stool. All of his videos are filmed in the same kitchen, with several little cactus pots on the windowsill and a gleaming sink, spotlessly clean, in the background. Edward wonders if it's Tom's own kitchen. If the rest of the room, or the house or flat, is as tidy as what he shows. If he lives with anybody. No one else is ever on the videos, although that doesn't mean Tom doesn't have a friend or a flatmate or a partner behind the camera.

“I'm really going to miss you,” Tom says, putting the gel candles aside. Edward's heart seizes. “But I won't be making any new videos for the next little while, because I'm going on a book tour!” He holds up the book, also entitled “Brighten Your Day With Candles”, he's been showing for the last few weeks. Edward ordered it the first time he saw it. He feels like he owes Tom at least that much. “I am so excited,” Tom says. He looks it, but Edward has never seen him be anything but sincere. “Unfortunately, it's just in south east England at the moment—sorry Jen in San Luis Obispo, I can't make it out to California this time, although I would love to someday—but I would really like to meet as many of you as possible. My complete schedule is below. See you soon!” He waves. Edward is about to scroll down to the comments, then hesitates.

What would he say if he met Tom in person? That he thinks Tom is the most incredible man he's ever seen? That he's watched every one of Tom's videos multiple times, and still knows nothing about making candles? That he often pictures Tom talking authoritatively about long burn times and multiple layers while Edward blows him? It's disgusting, inappropriate, probably illegal.

With a shake of his head, Edward puts the thought of meeting Tom Jopson entirely out of his mind.

***

At one time, Edward loved his career. That was before the company president died suddenly and his role was taken over by two co-presidents, promoted from within, who have a long history of conflict and have used Edward as a go-between, the miserable child of an unfriendly divorce, for months now.

It saps Edward's energy to the point that he doesn't have the will to look for another job. He just goes to work every day, suffers, and comes home to brighten his day with candles. Until one night, when George meets him at the door.

“Don't take your coat off,” he tells Edward. “We're going out.”

“I really don't feel like...”

“You will. Trust me.” Edward doesn't. They're great friends, but Edward doesn't trust him a bit. The feeling is vindicated when they arrive at the local Waterstone's, and George pushes him inside.

Tom is even more beautiful in person. His stubble looks like it's deliberate rather than the result of a long day, although Edward has always found that very charming in itself. He's wearing a smart white button-up shirt, and the smile he directs at the woman in front of him is so brilliant, Edward feels weak.

“No.” Edward turns to go.

George stops him. “Why not? It's the guy you like, isn't it?”

“It's...I don't...What am I going to say?”

“That you're a big fan? Even though you still haven't used that candle stuff Emily and I got you?” George looks at him pointedly. “Get him to sign your book.”

“I don't have it with...”

George reaches into his satchel and presses “Brighten Your Day With Candles” on him. “Get in the queue,” he says, in that imperious tone he sometimes has. “I'll wait in the café.”

Edward's stomach churns, but he follows George's direction, joining the queue behind a middle-aged woman and her teenage daughter. There are two other people ahead of them. It’s long enough for Edward to regret his entire life up to this point, not long enough to gather the wherewithal to walk away.

When Edward reaches the table, Tom's smile becomes even more brilliant. “You're Edward, right?”

Edward's carefully thought out opening words—“Good work”—disappear. “How did you...”

“Your friend George sent me a message.” Of course he fucking did. Edward is going to kill him. Is actually going to put his hands around his throat and...“He told me you'd be here.”

“Hm.” Edward has no idea what to say. His mind is entirely blank. He searches desperately, a quest which eventually arrives at, “Yes.”

“You like my videos?” Tom holds out his hand. Edward shakes it, then, face burning, realizes Tom was reaching for the book. Edward drops it onto the table. It thunks loudly.

“Yes,” Edward repeats.

“Do you have a favourite type of candle?” Tom opens the book and turns to the title page.  

“Wax ,” Edward replies, because his brain has apparently given up on this situation as entirely unsalvageable.

Tom laughs, as if that was a joke. He scrawls something in the book, then closes it and hands it back to Edward. “Thanks for watching, Edward. I really appreciate a loyal viewer like you.” He holds Edward's gaze as he says it.

Edward swallows around the lump in his throat. Edward has never done well in front of others. If he and Tom were alone, Edward might be able to come up something halfway coherent. Maybe. They're not.

“Thanks,” he says. He could swear Tom throws him a wink as he walks away.

It's that, along with the general humiliation, that leads Edward to duck out of view between Interior Design and Gardening. He opens the book to see what Tom wrote.

The words “For Edward” and a scribble that could be Tom's signature lie across the title page. Beneath that is a series of numbers. It takes Edward a moment longer than he wants to admit to realize it’s a phone number. He's not that lucky, usually. But he's also not this stupid.

His heart still hammering, Edward takes out his phone. I'm not really an idiot, Edward types, then sends the text before he can think twice. He glances at Tom, deep in conversation with a young woman in denim overalls, and goes to murder George.

Two hours later, Edward is sitting on the sofa at home when his phone trills. You don't seem like one. It's too kind. Just like he expected Tom would be. Can I buy you a coffee? Or better yet a drink?

“Who's that?” George asks, without looking up from his laptop. He doesn't need to. His entire body exudes smugness.

“Mind your own business,” Edward says. But, he adds silently, thank God you never do.

***

The rest of Tom's flat is as tidy as the kitchen he shows on his videos. It's also, amazingly, less than half an hour's drive from Edward's place. In addition to that, Tom has a day job at a shop Edward has passed hundreds of times, which he's always derogatorily classified as “candles, crystals and shit” and avoided.

“So if you hadn't been such a snob, darling,” Tom tells him, with a smile and a kiss, “we might have met a long time ago.”

Edward can't deny that. He can, however, deny that it's a good idea for him to join Tom on screen.

“Don't worry.” Tom sets up his phone on its tripod and comes back around the counter. “Just pretend it's not even there.” He kisses Edward again, on the cheek, then turns to the camera. “Welcome back, everyone! We have a very special guest today. This is my gorgeous boyfriend Edward, and we're going to help him make his very first candle!”

Tom posts the video later that evening. Not long afterwards, the comments start appearing. Normally, Edward would avoid them—he knows what Youtube commenters are like, and he never wants to see any criticism of Tom—but this time, he looks. To his surprise, there are several remarks about him. “Edward's so cute!” “OMG ur bf is the sweetest!” And, “That Edward guy really is great. I think you should have him on every episode.” The username beside that one is “PianoMan86” and the picture is the same one George uses on Instagram.

Bloody George. Fortunately, Edward thinks, looking at the slightly lumpy candle he produced with his own two hands, he has the perfect gift for him.

“Edward!” Tom calls, from his room down the hall. “Are you coming?”

Before they met, Edward assumed Tom would be the kind of guy who lights a million candles in the bedroom. In fact, he only ever lights one, but it never fails to have the perfect luminosity and fragrance for the mood.

“Yes.” Edward puts down his phone and hurries to join him. As amazing as he is on Youtube, Tom is unspeakably better offline.