#like what am i doing this for. who am i trying to please. etc
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optimisticgrey · 19 hours ago
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Okay, I need you all to listen very carefully:
Attention is the most valuable ressource on the internet.
It's how ads work (blinking, calling to action ("CLICK NOW", limited time offer etc) and what everyone is competing for - authors, fanfiction writers, content creators, people trying to make a living or just showing their art.
Everyone is competing for attention.
But, yes there is a big but, the people whose attention we are trying to get still do have a life.
It is a weird world out there and it gets more overwhelming every day. News get darker, situations more dire. There are people's lives at stake.
Even without following the news or reality adjacent content, we are all impacted by it.
We all feel it.
I talk to a lot of people on a regular basis and all, really, all of them are fucking stressed and overwhelmed: friends, acqaintances, mutuals(🫶), co-workers, clients, customers and the cashier at my favorite kebap place.
Everyone is fucking stressed, overwhelmed and tired all the time. Even the most chill and zen people I know.
Please keep in mind that these are the people following us and our work. Whatever we scream into the boundless void that is the internet gets up picked by some of them.
They try to make a living, to survive, to get by and find a moment of piece after a long day.
They still click.
Sometimes. they still like and leave kudos.
Sometimes, they just don't take time to leave a comment.
Maybe our stories made them smile. Or cry.
Maybe they are reading/seeing/consuming our stuff was the ten minute break they get in a day.
Yes, engagement is down. Across all platforms, for everyone.
It's how the internet works.
Algorithms change, corporations get influences by politics, the brainless mass shifts focus.
The next dopamine chase, the new hot topic.
In my case: the next new game. I am currently only publishing for BG3, it's a nearly two year old game. The people still reading my stuff are randoms an algorithm drew in or mutuals. The fanbase is limited and I am aware of it.
I just started publishing and I do not mind. Mostly, I do not care. I still save all delightful comment because they always make my day because there are still people who do care.
People who send me messages, telling me they loved my writing and the way my stories make them feel (although I somehow end up writing angst).
But the people leaving comments (likes/kudos) are not obligated to do so because there is a surprisingly small number of people who think outside of their own head.
If the internet has taught us anything, than it's the fact that people share hate rather than love.
It's easier to get a hate comment than a kind one.
It's how the internet society works and the battle for attention with it.
What I am trying to say is: Please be kind.
To yourself and to others.
Your art is not devalued because less people consume it. Maybe they are busy, maybe they are overwhelmed, maybe their focus has shifted.
All we have is each other.
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
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sailornymph · 1 day ago
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‘JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY’
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naruto dilfs with a younger s/o ii
cw : nsfw, exhibitionism, jealousy, dry humping, age gap, etc.
a/n : my schedule has been extremely tight, i am a nursing student and i work, plus, i am just getting past a snow storm, but i am off today, so i am trying to get everything out.
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mostly jealousy themed short pieces since i love them
♡ kakashi hatake
awkwardly standing in front of the academy, you regretted not changing out of the revealing clothing. the slits in your skirt and top, felt too provocative, to be standing in front of a school. to make matters worse, you were getting glares from the parents and googly eyes from the shinobi.
“you look a bit lost, how can i help you miss?” the ninja with a scar across his nose asked.
“i am looking for kakashi hatake”
“he is away at the moment, but he should be back in the next fifteen to twenty minutes, i believe he went to get his students, you’re free to stick around if you’d like,” he offered.
“i will, thank you”
“would you like to come inside, your appearance is attracting a crowd,” he chuckled. nodding, you followed him inside, as he made small talk.
“you three did well today,” kakashi said, walking behind naruto, sasuke, and sakura.
“oi, kakashi, who’s the pretty lady asking about your whereabouts?” asuma called out, as he approached.
“hm? pretty lady?”
“she came to the academy with a small bag, asking for you-
“you three are free to go,” kakashi interrupted, walking in the direction of the academy.
“not a chance, i want to see this pretty lady,” naruto smirked.
“you don't think it was that bookstore owner, miss y/n?” sakura asked.
“no, a woman like her would never want someone like kakashi sensei,” naruto blurted out.
“we’ll have to follow him to see,” sasuke said, already following kakashi.
entering the academy, his eyes widened, seeing you cover your mouth, laughing at whatever iruka was saying. as much as he respected the shinobi, he couldn't deny the jealousy beginning to rise.
“kakashi,” iruka said, glancing over, making you turn.
“kakashi, iruka was only keeping me company, while i waited for you,” you said, bashfully glancing at the chūnin. reaching for your forearm, kakashi led you away, just as team seven entered.
“did you see that? it was y/n,” naruto gasped.
“i knew it, she was blushing and kept looking at him, last time we saw her,” sakura said.
“iruka sensei, what is y/n doing with kakashi sensei?” naruto asked.
“i have no idea, it is better that we mind our business, let's go, you three,” he said, leading them out of the building.
“what are you doing here, what did i tell you?” kakashi asked, as the two of you walked along the empty hallway.
“i know, but you were in such a rush this morning, you forgot your things-
“we remain a secret for your safety, not mine, showing up was careless and why were you being so casual with iruka?”
“he was only being nice to me, we’re close in age, so we have a few things in common,” you mumbled, holding the bag close to your chest.
“right,” he said, rolling his eyes, stopping to lean against the wall.
“i didn't come here to put you on the spot, to cause a scene, or catch anyone’s attention. i was worried that you wouldn't have anything to eat, and you left these, i thought you would need them,” you shoved the bag into his arms. looking inside, he saw that he had left his lunch and weapons pouch. it slipped his mind to bring them, knowing that team seven wouldn't have any real missions today — it was he, who was being careless.
“also, maybe we shouldn't see each other if i cause you so much trouble,” you said, your voice cracking, making his stomach churn.
turning to storm away, he reached for your arm, swiftly pulling you into his chest, hugging you.
“i didn't mean to be brash with you,” he said.
“but you were”
“i don't want to stop seeing you, please,” he said, softly, as he stared into your eyes. you stared at each other for what felt like forever, before you were standing on your toes, pulling down his mask, your lips connecting with his.
moaning into the kiss, he wrapped his arms around your waist, opening the staff-only restroom, pulling you inside, and leaving the small bag outside. locking the door, he hungrily kissed your lips, his hands exploring all over your body.
“you hurt my feelings,” you said, breathlessly, as he kissed your neck, lifting you onto the sink.
“allow me to make up for my mistake,” he groaned, as you squeezed the print of his cock.
“you're so hard, why is that?”
“this tiny two piece,” he admitted, reaching to squeeze your ass.
“yeah?”
“why don't you apologize with your mouth first, and we will see about your friend,” you said, staring into his eyes.
picking you up as if you were a feather, he placed your legs onto his shoulder, sliding the skirt up, and moving your thong over, his face going straight into your cunt.
“oh my g-just like that,” you moaned, as his tongue explored your pussy. so wet for him already, he could feel his cock stiffening in his pants, as your fingers made their way to his hair. unbuttoning his pants, he stroked himself, his precum dripping from his tip.
“your tongue is amazing,” you slurred, looking down at the sight. he was nose deep, licking your pussy as if it were his last meal.
“fuck me,” you continued, holding onto him as he lowered you from his shoulders. your legs went around his waist, your hands around his neck, while he aligned with your entrance.
"i love you," he whispered, as his cock slid smoothly into your creaming cunt.
gasping in pleasure, you were silenced by his tongue going into your mouth. bouncing you in the air, your low moans were drowned out by his grunting.
"you're fucking me so good," you whimpered to him, feeling yourself unraveling.
"irelease all over me," he encouraged you, as you began clinching around him repeatedly.
breathing ruggedly, you nodded earnestly, trying to concentrate, as the knot tugged in your abdomen yearning to be released.
"i'm close," you cried out, the sound of your skin slapping filled the restroom before your face was buried in his shoulder, as you moaned. your body visibly vibrated a few times, as he came inside, before you pulled away, looking at him.
smiling softly, he kissed your lips as he pulled out, slowly letting your sandals touch the floor. holding your waist, he leaned down, kissing you a few more times, before he pulled away, allowing you both to fix yourselves.
“i apologize for how i spoke to you,” he said, kissing your hand, shaking his head.
“i suppose i could forgive you this once, you did ask me to not come to the academy,” you told him.
“it is alright, thank you for being so helpful,” he told you, opening the door, allowing you to exit first.
“yeah, but it’s pointless, you're done for the day and your lunch is cold now,” you pouted, picking up the bag, but kakashi simply took it from you.
“i will still be eating this, i haven’t eaten all day”
“are you sure?”
“the temperature won’t take away the flavor,” he said, lifting his mask over his mouth. reaching to hold your hand, he began to walk you out of the school.
“i don’t like the way iruka was staring at you”
“it doesn’t matter how he stared, you’re the only shinobi i want”
“there they go,”naruto yelled, catching the attention of sakura and sasuke.
“kakashi sensei, are you-are you and miss y/n together?” sakura asked, blushing at the two of you holding hands.
“but you're holding hands”
“friends hold hands, don't they?” you asked her.
“miss y/n is a very, very special friend of mine, but excuse me, i will be walking her home”
“could i please join the next book club meeting-
“no naruto, i will see you three tomorrow morning,” he said, ignoring them, as he focused on you and getting you home.
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♡ jiraiya
“you’ve done well, once again, y/n, and to finish two days sooner than what was expected, becoming a jonin was fitting for you,” kurenai told you, as you walked alongside her, entering the hidden leaf.
“thank you,” you said, smiling at her praise.
“excuse me, are you y/n?” a woman said, approaching you.
“yes, why?”
“i wanted to do what was right and confess that i've been seeing jiraiya since you’ve been away,” she said, fidgeting with her fingers, unable to meet your eyes.
“very well,” you said, walking past her.
“you're not angry with me?”
“i need to report to the hokage,” you said, continuing to walk away.
“i wouldn't pay her any mind, you're practically famous now, and i’m sure it’s just their own jealousy, trying to stir drama,” kurenai said, as you nodded, both of you continuing to lord fifth. this was becoming too frequent since everyone found out, thanks to naruto’s loud mouth.
you and jiraiya were supposed to be a secret. until one day, he hadn't told the boy that he wouldn't have any training today and naturally, he showed up to your house, hoping to ask if you had seen him. you had permitted him to walk into your home without knocking in the past and he figured today wouldn't be any different. however, he was quickly filled with disgust at the sound of your moaning, as jiraiya talked you through it.
“oh my god, y/n, are you up there with the pervy sage?” he screamed, running out of the house.
your heart dropped, as you quickly rushed to get dressed, going downstairs, only to find naruto outside, clearly traumatized.
“naruto,” you called out, approaching him.
“please tell me you weren't- that wasn't-
“geez kid,” jiraiya said, coming down the stairs. again, the horrified expression appeared on his face.
“y/n, you're with that old perv?” he asked loudly.
“please keep your voice down, others will hear,” you told him. however, it was too late, many had heard him and the rumors spread.
since then, for the last few weeks, random girls have approached you, telling you things like jiraiya has flirted with them, he stalks them and writes them love letters. you hadn't confronted him, but you were growing tired of it. whether it was true or not.
reporting to tsunade, you could hardly focus, as she congratulated you, paying you for your completed mission. you didn't want to go home, not when there was a chance jiraiya would stop there when he found out that you were back. instead, you went to one of your favorite restaurants, ordering ramen and a bottle of sake.
“i couldn't help but notice you when you came in, could i join you?” the man asked, making you face him. he was cute, not your type, but enough to get your mind off of what you had been thinking of.
“sure,” you smirked, watching as he sat down.
together, you sat with the handsome man known as matsune. the sun had completely gone down the moon covering the sky, as the two of you finally left the restaurant.
“thank you for keep me company,” you bit your lip.
“it was nothing-
“y/n, there you are, kakashi said that you returned nearly four hours ago, i've been looking for you-who is this?” he stopped, noticing the man standing too close for his liking.
“you know this man, y/n?
“i do, he's a pervy old sage,” you said.
“i see. sir, stay away from y/n, or i’ll have to-
before he could finish, jiraiya punched him, watching as he flew into the small business concession stand. turning to face him, before you could open your mouth, he swiftly picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder. you attempted to break free, but his hold was firm, as he carried you, stopping once in front of your house. as soon as your feet were on the ground, he pressed his hands on the sides of your head.
“what was that about? who was that guy?” he asked, frowning, as he towered over you.
“you have some nerve”
“do i now?”
“yes, every time i’m away, you're being a pervert, am i not enough? answer me,” you said angrily, trying to shove him backwards, but he didn't budge an inch.
“what are you talking about?”
“i’m not in the mood, jiraiya-
“neither am i, you’re saying things i don’t understand, after i just caught you all cozied up with another man,” he said.
“you didn’t catch me, i sensed your presence,” you said, turning your nose up to him.
“i want your things out of my house,” you continued, turning around, unlocking the door, letting him in, as he shut the door behind himself.
as you began to walk to your kitchen, he stopped you, holding your waist, spinning you around to face him, before lifting you up.
“jiraiya, put me down”
“i have no idea what you’re talking about, it feels like you’re deflecting from what just happened, we need to talk about this”
“do not talk to me like i am a child, now put me down,” you said, angrily.
“i love you too much to end things like this, it doesn’t make sense,” he said, as he began kissing your neck.
“jir-ugh, p-put me down,” you moaned, but he simply moved to your mouth, kissing your lips. instinctively, your legs wrapped around his waist.
untying your headband, you tossed it across the room, while he reached for your bag, dropping it to the floor. lifting your dress, he ripped your panties with ease. as his fingers touched your pussy, your back arched.
“i love you, my pretty jonin,” he whispered, massaging your clit.
“no you don’t, liar,” you moaned.
“i do, i would do anything for you, but i can’t leave you, not over this…confusion,” he said, teasing your hole with a finger.
“fuck,” you hissed, your face going to his shoulder.
“these she goes, let it out, princess,” he said, slapping your ass, before pushing his finger deeper.
“add another,” you moaned, opening your mouth as another thick finger slipped into your wet pussy.
“just perfect”
“kami,” you whined, as he walked to sit on the sofa.
“she’s still so tight,” he said, as your juices coated his fingers.
“i need your cock,” you moaned, impatiently, as he began to unbutton his pants.
pumping himself a few times, you were already leading his tip to your cunt. holding your hips, he pushed you down onto his shaft. both of you moaning out, your hands going to his shoulders.
“can’t you feel you how much i love you,” he groaned, lightly squeezing your hips.
lifting you, before bringing you back down, the sound of skin clapping quickly filled the room. he was fucking you as if he’d never see you again. his muscles flexed as he moaned shamelessly, praising and thanking you and your pussy for being so perfect for him.
you were unable to speak, moaning and whining as he fucked you, even after cumming, he kept going. he cock plunging in and out, until he finally came, filling up your walls.
“i hate you,” you said, tiredly, laying your head on his shoulder.
“no you don’t,” he said, picking you up, and carrying you upstairs.
“since i laid my eyes on you, the first time we met, you’ve been my muse. you’ve inspired everything i’ve written, there has been no other woman i’ve come across who makes me feel like you do, y/n,” he told you, as you dozed off, falling asleep.
waking up to the sound of knocking, you noticed you had been changed into pajamas. knowing jiraiya, he most likely provided aftercare, when you fell asleep. trying to get up, you had to pry his hands from off of you, before going downstairs. opening the door, you were surprised to see kurenai.
“hey,” you said, tiredly.
“morning, y/n, i found out something you should hear,” she told you.
“okay,” you nodded, stepping outside, shutting the door behind yourself. explaining to you the situation that she and asuma discovered late last night, your heart was on the floor.
“so jiraiya didn’t cheat?”
“no, so far it’s a group of them, fans if you will, they are in love with you and want you to themselves, so they’ve been trying to sabotage your relationship,” she said, as the guilt made its way to your chest.
“i see, thank you, kurenai,” you told her, as she nodded, leaving.
making your way inside, your heart was pounding as you walked upstairs. climbing under the blanket, you scooted close to jiraiya, wrapping your arms around him. groaning, he pulled you close, kissing your forehead.
“i'm sorry for what i did and said to you, i love you so much,” you whispered.
“i know, princess,” he said, tiredly.
“i don't you to leav—
“i'm not leaving you, get some rest, we’ll talk when i’m up, okay?” he said, lightly squeezing your ass.
“okay,” you smiled, laying your face on his chest.
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♡ hashirama senju
“only those who’ve passed, earning the title of genin, will be granted the privilege of having one of our finest shinobi as your teacher, to begin your training. the rest of you will be ordinary students, but there is no need to feel down, you can try again in six months,” hashirama smiled brightly at the children and their parents. many of them clapping and cheering in excitement.
rolling your eyes, you turned away from the crowd, crossing your arms. to many, you were uninterested, the beautiful shinobi, forced to give up your career, due to the hokage’s orders. while this may have been true, you would be a liar to deny the fact that you were jealous of the hokage’s wife, who stood next to him — while you remained his secret.
“class will begin in a week, you all will be finding out who your teachers or classmates are then, good luck to you all, and again, thank you for coming out,” tobirama spoke this time.
when you were sure everyone was done talking, you were the first to walk away. this was childish of you, you knew he'd lightly scold you later, but you couldn't help it. to have spent nearly the entire night with him, just for him to not even meet your glance once today. you were beginning to question everything, you had plenty of options, and yet you were throwing them all away to be hashirama’s plaything.
“y/n,” hearing someone calling your name, you turned, surprised to see izuna approaching.
“izuna,” you acknowledged him.
“could i talk to you for a second?” he asked, as you made eye contact with madara, who was approaching.
“of course,” you nodded.
“as you know all of the uchiha children were accepted into the academy and a few of our most gifted will have a teacher training them to move up in rank-
“you’re stronger than your counterparts, if i am not mistaken, you completed the most s-rank missions before hashirama ordered you to work alongside these…teachers,” madara said, examining you.
“that may be true, but you can trust that all of the teachers will protect every students-
“no, that’s not what we’re worried about, two of those men teaching alongside you are a part of the senju clan, and we do not need senju trying to teach uchiha children,” madara interrupted.
“he’s asking, despite how rude he sounds. we don’t ask for favors often, but i figured it was worth a try since you’re a friend,” izuna said, embarrassed by madara’s straight to the point nature.
“you’re the strongest teacher and hashirama seems to have a soft spot for you, so we would prefer if you picked up our gifted students, it’s three of them,” madara continued.
“i can see what i can do but, i am not educated on the sha-?”
“sharingan,” izuna finished, nodding his head.
“izuna will educate you on what you need to know, and how you can teach them, anything else about it, leave to our clan to take care of,” madara told you.
“okay,” you nodded in agreement.
“join us for dinner, you can meet the children and parents then,” madara said.
“you have to stop with the tone, i’m not sure if you’re asking or telling me, but sure, i’ll come,” you said, when suddenly, izuna snickered, and madara chuckled.
“i think everyone will like you,” he continued, holding out his hand, as you accepted it to shake, doing the same thing with izuna.
“what is going on here?” hashirama asked, mito close behind him.
“nothing that concerns hashirama senju,” madara said, walking away.
“see you then,” izuna whispered, as he left.
hashirama furrowed his eyebrows at the interaction, before facing you. you attempted to avoid his eyes, bowing before keeping your eyes focused on his cloak instead.
“y/n”
“we were only talking about the school, excuse me, lord first, i must get going,” you bowed again and were gone in a flash.
spending the rest of the evening at home, you eventually got dressed and headed to the uchiha compound for dinner. everyone was lovely, you wished outsiders could see how beautiful and kind this clan truly was. meeting the parents of the gifted students, each of them excited for their children. after the eventful night, you found yourself leaving the compound, madara alongside you.
“i am grateful for your compliance, izuna said that you two were friends, but you don't talk as much as when you were younger,” madara said.
“it's nothing, izuna and i are both very busy, but that doesn't change that he is a great friend,” you shrugged. your mind could've been playing tricks on you, but madara’s gaze lasted longer than usual.
“uchiha don’t intermingle with outsiders, but i am willing to make an exception for you, in more ways than one,” he said, making you grin, and roll your eyes.
“goodnight madara,” you shook your head, waking away. you could feel him watching you. he was reeking of sex appeal, and was very handsome, but you were unfortunately still wrapped around hashirama’s finger.
going home, you sighed in exhaustion, as you unlocked the door. shutting and locking it, just as you turned on the lights, you jumped, recovering quickly. hashirama sat in your living room, staring at you, with a blank expression.
“you were at the uchiha compound, why?” he asked.
“i don't believe that is your business,” you said, as he stood up, slowly approaching you.
“y/n, i am not in the mood for these antics,” he told you sternly.
“and why is that lord first?” you gasped, as he pressed you into his chest, within an instant. when it was just the two of you, you could forget that he was the strongest, the quickest, a god of shinobi to many.
“you're unusually close with them, especially izuna-
“i thought you wanted everyone to embrace the clan,” you said, quickly dropping the smug grin, as his hold tightened.
“yes, but you are mine, and i will not share you with anyone, senju or uchiha,” he told you.
“tch, you're a selfish man, you flaunt your wife for your village to see, ignoring my presence, but crawl in my bed and whine when i give another man the time of day,” you scoff.
“is that what you think? i never can keep my eyes off of you. i am with you, just as much as when i am with mito. you are the first person i recommended when tobirama asked about potential teachers. i love you, and i’ve never hidden that, married or not,” he glared at you.
“yeah, if you say so,” you grumbled.
“you don't think i love you?”
“i said, if you say so”
“do you love me?”
“hashirama, you know the answer-
“say it,” he said, leaning forward to kiss your lips.
“this…is… unnecessary,” you said, in between each kiss, moaning as he moved to your neck.
“say it, for me,” he whispered, reaching to open your kimono, and kissing along your neck.
“i love you too,” you said, breathlessly.
“good girl,” he said, swiftly picking you up, carrying you upstairs. swapping your legs around his waist, you whimpered as he continued placing kisses along your neck.
“what did you talk about this morning with them?” he asked, while you smiled.
“nothing that concerns hashirama senju,” you teased, as he sat on the edge of your bed, tugging at your thin undergarments.
removing your top, you reached for his hands, placing them on your breast. biting your lips, you began grinding your hips. you could feel his bulge, readying to spring free at any moment. moaning lowly, you kissed his lips, as he lightly squeezed your breast.
“my pretty girl,” he encouraged, licking his bottom lip, focused on your hips and the friction you were causing.
“i’m so close, baby,” you moaned, increasing your grinding before your leg began to lightly shake. he held back his grunts, watching as you unraveled before his eyes, holding onto him as you ruined your panties on his kimono.
reaching to pull you even closer, he was surprised when you pulled away, standing up. furrowing his eyebrows, he watched as you removed the kimono, walking back and forth, only wearing panties. you were getting ready for bed and weren’t acknowledging him at all.
“was that all you wanted to do?” he finally spoke up.
“sex doesn't solve the problem always,” you said, crossing your arms, and leaning against the wall. staring into your eyes, he put his head down.
“i love you both, equally, it doesn’t make it right, but just like i love and provide for her, i have kept my promise and i have done the same thing for you. my marriage doesn’t change my love for you, the things i have in place for you, the way i would die or kill for you and your safety. you may not have noticed, but i saw you this morning. i watched your every move, how you nervously fixed your hair and kimono, your hesitation to be serious or smile, your glances or laughs at our small comments,” he told you.
“what is your point?”
“even after this act is up, you will be my woman. you know where to find me, when you're ready to talk,” he said, standing, beginning to walk away.
“wait,” you said, watching as he stopped, you began to approach him.
“madara and izuna asked that i train the uchiha students who have already been classified as genin,” you continued, your arms wrapped around your body.
“and what of madara’s lustful eyes?”
“you had me followed?” you glared, but his face remained unchanged.
“i’m sure it was nothing but a crush, just like the others, but i was invited to learn about the sharingan and meet the children,” you said, shifting your gaze.
“students are not hand-picked by their teachers, your students are chosen based on-
“they don't want their children taught by a senju, and they figured since you have a soft spot of me, you would allow me to do so, and i agreed,” you said.
“you did what?”
“izuna is a good friend of mine, and he never asks for anything, it was the least i could do,” you said.
“of course, izuna asked, and because he asked, the rules should be changed?” he asked, angrily.
“no, because i’m asking you. the hokage. you can make an exception for me. i don't want to be with izuna and i certainly am not interested in madara uchiha, but i would like to build a connection with other clan members. despite how things seem, i can't help but think of the first hokage. he's such a man, how he speaks to me, how he holds me, takes care of me, fucks me, there isn't another man who could take his place if they wanted,” you said, wrapping your arms around him.
“am i supposed to bend rules just because you asked?”
“please, hashi, for me,” you pouted.
“fine, i’ll see you tomorrow morning,” he sighed.
“wait, come join me in the shower, i’d like to show you something,” you said, reaching for his hand, and leading him into the bathroom.
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♡ minato namikaze
“i told you, we should’ve left tomorrow,” mei grumbled, as you walked through the forest.
“we’re almost there, quit your complaining,” you said, trying to pay attention to where you were headed.
“can you even see where we’re going?”
“yes, we’re close, can’t you hear the waterfall close by,” you said.
“i honestly thought it was crickets and frogs,” he said.
“no, we’re close, minato and i came through this way, a few weeks ago,” you said.
“that’s why you insisted that we leave so early, to get back to minato,” he teased.
“you’re the same way with kunari, you hate to be away from him for too long,” you said.
“totally different, i spend time away from my sugarplum, you on the other hand, left this morning and wanted to come back already, to get back to this man,” he snickered.
“i’m sorry, i can’t help it, since moving in with him, i am just enjoying being under him,” you said, your face heating up.
“how was meeting his son and ex-wife?”
“naruto is the sweetest boy ever, he wants to be hokage. kushina is also really nice, we aren’t friends but we’re cordial,” you told him.
“look at you, fitting right in. i still think he’s too old for you, but if you’re happy, then you have my support,” he smiles.
“thank you you, mei, it means a lot,” you cooed.
“miss y/n,” you heard, making you glance over, screaming, but stopping as you noticed kakashi.
“my goodness, kakashi, you scared me,” you laughed.
“my apologies, i was only curious what you were doing so far out, without an escort,” he explained.
“mei and i are returning from a festival, we were supposed to be escorted tomorrow morning, but we decided to leave after our fun,” you told him.
“then i will see to you getting to the hidden leaf safely for the rest of your journey,” he said, looking down.
“that is fine with me, what were you doing out here?”
“catching up on some reading, before it got so dark,” he shrugged.
“oh the icha icha series, you told me about?”
“yes,” he nodded, sheepishly.
kakashi was only a few years younger than you, already a jonin and quite handsome. however, he wasn't your type, he was very mysterious and nonchalant. while you preferred the extroverted chalant men, like minato. he was bold, straightforward, and didn't care about being judged, especially when it came to being expressive.
“kakashi, do you remember my friend, mei?”
“i believe so, he refers to his partner as sugarplum?” he asked, making you snicker.
“yes”
“i see, nice to meet you, mei,” he said, as he began to walk alongside you.
making small talk the rest of the journey, you could actually see minato, as he came from around the corner, speaking with another shinobi. every night, he walked through the village, wishing the villagers a good night, as he passed by.
“have a good night, y/n and mei,” kakashi said, leaving the two of you.
“ugh, did you see how he kept looking over at you, you should give him a chance,” mei said.
“mei, i have minato, and you just said you supported my decision”
“i take it back, why be with him, when you seem to have more in common with kakashi, he's also closer in age”
“he's younger than me,” you crossed your arms.
“by what? three years? that's better than nearly an age difference of ten years”
“it's only eight, mei”
“oh, that's such a difference,” he said, sarcastically.
“he’s cute, but not someone i’m interested in, goodnight, mei,” you said, walking towards where minato stood.
“you're back already, darling,” he smiled, embracing you.
“i seen what i had to see,” you told him, kissing his cheek.
“i’m going to get home to my sugarplum,” mei said.
“would you like to be escorted home, mei?” minato asked.
“that won't be necessary, thank you. y/n, think about what we talked about,” he said, leaving the two of you.
“i can't believe you came back so soon, it hasn't even been an entire day,” minato laughed.
“i missed you, i wish you could've come along,” you pouted.
“maybe next time, hop on,” he said, catching you as you jumped onto his back.
walking home, your conversation consisted of his jokes and your giggles, before he was let you jump onto the ground.
“naruto will be over tomorrow morning,” he told you, unlocking the door, letting you in.
going to the kitchen, you grabbed your container of strawberries and sat at the table. stretching your legs, you moaned at the taste of the sweet fruit. minato soon came into the kitchen, leaning on the counter, as he stared at you.
“your friend, mei, he doesn't seem to like me too much,” he said.
“why do you say that?”
“he frowned when you said my name,” he raised an eyebrow.
“he is convinced that i would be a better match with kakashi, we learned that we have a few things in common, when he escorted us to the village, from the waterfall,” you grumbled.
“would you rather be with kakashi?” he asked, immediately, making you frown.
“absolutely not, he was only suggesting him because he’s close to my age, mei is my friend, but his opinions are nothing more than his opinions,” you said, going to stand up, approaching minato.
“your student is a great young man, but he is not you, and i couldn't care about anyone disliking what we have,” you continued.
“i'm sorry, i get so jealous at the thought of another man taking my place,” he shook his head.
“hey, thank you for communicating how you felt,” you said, kissing his lips.
“you look amazing,” he complimented, kissing your lips again.
hungrily making out with each other, you went to the floor, staring into his blue eyes. unbuckling his pants, you lowered them, taking his cock into your hands. he was a grower, stiffening in your hands, while you got comfortable on your knees.
grabbing a handful of your hair, he caressed your cheek, as his cock slowly sprang up, pointing in your face. kissing his tip, you could taste his precum on your lips.
taking as much as possible, you relaxed your throat, taking him over and over. drool running down your jaw, as you made a small gawk noise.
“so beautiful sucking my cock,” he hummed, smirking at the vibrations from your moans. your hand deep in your panties, rubbing your clit. his breathing becoming heavy, as his cock twitched.
“i’m going to cum, fuck,” he hissed, pulling out, jerking himself off, moaning as his seed squirted on your face. letting out an exhale, he smiled at you, as you giggled, licking his tip, before standing up.
“i feel so much energized than before,” you told him, swiping away a bit of the semen, licking your finger.
“you look so cute with your facial,” he laughed, pulling you close.
“i think i’d like another,” you bat your eyelashes.
“then we better hurry, knowing naruto he will be here just as the sun rises,” he laughed picking you up, carrying you to your shared room.
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♡ orochimaru
“i didn't mean to wake you,” you whispered, climbing back into his bed, your hand brushing over orochimaru’s chest.
“did you feed the child?” he asked, clearly agitated from the crying.
“yes, lord orochimaru,” you bit your lip. from your eyes and the way you were pushed against him, he figured this was your nonverbal way of asking to be fucked — however he had no intention of giving in to your wishes. he didn’t need you, sexually or emotionally, your role was to care for the heir you managed to give him and nothing more. at least these were things that he tried to convince himself to believe, despite, the secret attachment he had grown to have for you.
the way you excitedly included him in every step of the pregnancy, beyond his testing. waddling to him, as he returned from missions to give him updates, begging that he touched your stomach when the baby kicked. asking his opinion about the fetus and even how kabuto informed him that you asked to learn medical ninjutsu, your reason being that you wanted to be more useful to him. perhaps that's why he became so lenient, allowing you to sleep in bed with him.
“must you be such a nuisance,” he said, abruptly sitting up, shrugging you off.
“my apolog-
“i don't care about your apology, find something to do with yourself,” he said, sounding more like your parent than a partner, could this even be considered a partnership? you were the mother of his newborn son, it didn't seem to be more than that anymore.
“yes, my lord,” you nodded, rubbing your arms as he went into the bathroom, slamming the door.
six months, it had already been six months since giving birth and you were on your best behavior, yet he still wouldn't touch you. you occasionally caught him watching as you breastfed the infant, but he wouldn't speak. he’d allow you in his bed, but too much moving or touching him led to a threat or two. you had trained as hard as possible, trying to maintain your glow previous to your pregnancy. all you wanted was to be touched, to be looked upon in admiration, lust, anything, as long as he finally looked at you.
“lord orochimaru,” kabuto knocked on the bedroom door, before opening it, just as the bathroom door opened.
“the boy you spoke of, they have found him,” kabuto said, making his lord smirk. another vessel.
“we will leave shortly,” he said, as kabuto nodded, leaving the room, hardly sparing you a glance.
“will mamushi have any tests today?” you hesitantly asked, noticing him roll his eyes. you insisted on the nickname for the boy, due to him taking all of orochimaru’s snake-like features.
“when i return,” was all he said, satisfied when you nodded, standing to leave his room.
going to the newborn’s room, you sat beside his bassinet, watching in adoration. the only trait he had from you was your hair color and smile, the rest was orochimaru, but that didn’t change your love for him. there had been plenty of nights that you came into his room and you’d watch him sleep, amazed that you could help create such a beautiful baby.
“where is lord orochimaru?” karin stopped, as she passed by, backing up into the doorway of the room.
“he may have already left, kabuto said his next vessel has been found,” you said boredly, playing with the ribbon you had weaved into the bassinet.
“i see…are you alright?” the girl asked, making you turn to face her. you weren't necessarily close with any of his students, but the two of you found yourselves making conversation amongst each other often.
“i will be,” you smiled.
“how about i watch mamushi while you take a break, lord orochimaru most likely will not return until later today,” she offered.
“are you sure?”
“yes, go on, find something to do,” she waved you off. what could you do, maybe visit the said sound village? you had only been once when you were first brought to orochimaru, and while he acted like he couldn't stand you, what he hated more was other men looking at you — meaning the furthest you had been since then was outside of his main headquarters.
“thank you so much,” you told her, going off to your room. changing from out of your grey kimono, you found the soft purple kimono, gifted to you from your late mother and the matching hairpin.
waving bye to karin, you made your way out of the headquarters, towards the village. the walk was longer than anticipated, after getting lost a few times, but you soon found your way into the village. you had been told how everything was a cover-up, everyone even the store owners, were soldiers of orochimaru. immediately you noticed two things, one, the men-to-women ratio was substantially different and two, you stood out like a sore thumb.
passing the few stores and small restaurants, you bit back your smile noticing the hot spring. you hadn't been to a hot spring in nearly two years. entering the lobby, you reached for your wallet, when a shinobi spoke up.
“i will pay the beautiful woman’s fee as well,” he said, handing over extra money before you could refuse.
“thank you so much,” you bowed, taking notice of the other men staring at you. you usually weren't attention-driven, but after going almost an entire pregnancy and an additional six months with no attention or affection, other than directions of what to do with your child, you felt deprived and were taking in every second of the attention you were getting.
“this way, ma'am,” the woman said, leading you to the women's section and locker room. changing into the white towel, you made your way to the warm water. you could feel their eyes, yet you couldn't see them.
“he should be up in a few hours, my lord,” kabuto said, approaching the large window. the northern headquarters, directly above the city, allowing the perfect view of the citizens.
“very well-
“my lord, i think you would want to come see this,” kabuto said, backing away, allowing orochimaru to approach the window.
“what am i looking at?”
“the hot springs, my lord”
searching for a moment, he stopped as his eyes landed on the establishment. he never realized the hot springs could be seen from this view — he furrowed his eyebrows as he noticed you. what were you doing here? who was with his son?
the women’s hot spring surrounded by shinobi, peeping and he knew that you could sense them, after all of your training. clenching his jaw, he watched as you held the towel close to your body, before undoing it, letting it fall to the ground.
“bring the boy to me, when he is finally awake”
the flask in his hand shattering, from how hard he was squeezing it. your hips switched, as you made your way to the water, your mouth movements let him know that you released a moan. laying your head back, you closed your eyes. he felt blinded by rage, as his feet moved on their own. perhaps if his men had been away on missions, he wouldn't have made a big deal — but to intentionally flaunt your body to these men, when you were his, your hair, your breast, your womb, your pussy — all his. it didn't matter to him, even if he hadn't touched you in years, there was no man worthy to lust after the same woman he bedded.
he was in front of the hot springs in no time, the ninja and business owners bowing, as he entered. walking past the women, he entered the women's area. you sat alone in the warm water, your breasts perky as ever.
“this is not what i meant when i said find something to do with yourself,” he spoke, making you jolt, sitting up.
“lord orochimaru”
“you didn't expect me to catch you? showing off your body like some common whore, when you knew they were watching, come out, all of you,” he spat. as the other ninja made themselves visible.
“lord orochimaru, we had no idea she belonged to you, we ask for your mercy,” one of the men spoke.
“did i allow you to speak?” orochimaru frowned, making a few hand signs, before the shinobi coughed up blood, falling to his knees.
“now, back to you, you foolish woman, you wanted my attention and now you have it,” he continued, stalking towards you. with a swift movement of his hand, his clothing was coming off, as he stepped into the water.
standing up, you tried backing away from him, you stood no chance against him. however, he was much quicker than you, moving in front of you in an instant, before you could make any further movements.
“my lord-
“did i give you permission to speak?” he hissed, as you quickly shook your head.
your eyes widened as his hands pulled you closer, his hands exploring your body. your breast pressed against his chest, as he stared into your eyes. you couldn't see it before, but now it was clear jealousy. his eyes were full of jealousy.
“i’ve yearned for your affection, i am not asking for you to change your nature, but please embrace me as i have done for you. you don’t teach me anymore, advise me, touch me, i have no value to you anymore, only to take care of mamushi. so you blame me for accepting their lust-
he stopped you, by grabbing your lower face.
“if you held no value to me, you would be dead, yet here you are — my liability”
“if i am a liability, release me-
“no”
“why?”
“i’m afraid i like you too much to do that,” he confessed, lowly. staring into his eyes, you did the unthinkable, kissing his lips.
he was shocked for merely a second, before he took control, hungrily exploring your mouth. picking you up, he sat you on the edge of the hot springs. his snake like tongue trailing from your neck, back up to your mouth, as you moaned loudly.
“your pussy smells so sweet and she’s so wet,” he said, breaking the kiss to stare at your cunt. becoming shy, you began to close your legs, when he stopped you, looking back into your eyes.
“i like you too,” you whispered, making his eyes widen. pressing his lips against yours once more, he reached into his undergarments and pulled out his cock.
rubbing it against your dripping cunt, before pushing himself in. moaning loudly, you wrapped your legs around his waist. you could feel the eyes of the shinobi on you, but you still couldn't care, especially when you were finally getting what you wanted so dearly.
“oh my lord, just like that,” you cried as he sped up his thrusts. your breasts looked perfect, bouncing, he couldn't help but squeeze them. throwing your head back, your eyes began to roll.
“look at you, such a dirty whore, tell them who you belong to,” he instructed, grunting, as he continued fucking into your tight hole.
“i’m yours, only yours, m-my lord,” you whined, feeling yourself repeatedly clenching around him.
“oh, your pussy is clenching, do you want to cum?” he asked, smirking as you nodded through your lewd noises.
“cum on my cock, make it worth my while,” he ordered, grinning as your hips met him halfway, as you whined like a bitch in heat before you came all over his cock. a few thrusts later and he was cumming inside of your cunt.
“you're all dismissed,” orochimaru said, with just those words alone, the feeling of eyes disappeared. he stood in front of you, staring into your eyes.
“lord or-
“you are very aware that i am not known for giving many chances,” he told you.
“yes”
“you have one last chance, and if you ever try that stunt again, you will wish you could unsee what i will do,” he said, satisfied when you nodded.
“who is with mamushi?” he crossed his arms.
“karin”
“get dressed, we’re heading back,” he said, turning to walk away, as you followed behind closely.
“what’s with the stupid grin?” he asked, glancing over.
“you finally called him mamushi”
meanwhile back at the main headquarters…
“oh this is so cute, hold him closer sasuke,” karin cheered snapping photos of sasuke and suigetsu. they happened to be passing the room when they saw her playing with lord orochimaru’s son and became curious. however, they now regret it as they sat wearing the cat ears, forced to hold the baby close, as she took photos to show you when you returned.
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I'm autistic and I have a really hard time expressing my feelings sometimes. I always say "thank you" to everyone who makes art for me and always try to add at least something about what I like about the piece. "I like how you shaded this piece!", "I love the way you drew her eyes!", "It looks really cool how you styled him!" etc. so it doesn't come off as just a generic copy/pasted "thanks I guess" because I do genuinely like these pieces.
But growing up I would always get shat on by my family for being "ungrateful" because I'd open up bday/Christmas presents and then basically react the same way. "Oh wow! This is that book I wanted! Thanks so much!" But because I wasn't jumping up and down, screaming and crying so hard I threw up because I was so happy and grateful to have this gift, I'd get labeled as "ungrateful". And because of that experience, even with me making that addition, I can't help but feel like people are reading it the same way sometimes. ;v;
But as I've gotten older, I've learned to ignore those feelings more. Sure, there are going to be assholes every now and then who are going to think I'm being "ungrateful" for not writing a 10-page essay on how much I love the art they made, but if they're going to get that upset at a simple "thank you", then that's their problem to deal with. I don't join Art Fight to seek validation from others and I shouldn't expect others in general to have joined for that reason either. As long as I am saying "thank you" and acknowledging the time and effort those artists put into drawing my characters, I think that should be good enough! After all, there's hundreds of thousands of characters on Art Fight, and they chose mine out of them all; that's pretty cool that I was able to inspire them like that!
But I guess in the end what I'm trying to say is to not get discouraged or feel like you're being ungrateful for not writing 10,000 word essays on how much you love the art you've gotten; a simple "thank you" is good enough and anyone who says otherwise is being a dick. And for the people who are getting upset that they "only" got a simple "thank you" and nothing more, consider that they struggle with expressing themselves like me? They might be mentally freaking out about how cool your piece was, but they don't know how to express that to you. Not getting 12 paragraphs of them gushing about the piece doesn't mean that they hate it or dislike it either.
(please keep me on anon)
.
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thegodwhocums · 2 days ago
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Hi! Do you have any reading recs about trance/ritual altered states/etc? Specifically, I'm trying to get sober this year and I think dipping a toe into this stuff (cautiously) might help me strengthen some aspects of my worship that I have been using alcohol for in a way that was not healthy, but I don't just want to throw myself at a thing without proper preparation. I'm happy to come off anon if you'd prefer (we're mutuals, I'm just shy abt the sobriety thing on here).
anon i respect that so much. understand the shyness, happy to talk more but I bet you are not the only person wondering this (esp in January when many people consider their relationships with alcohol), so let me see what I can recommend in general.
check out @arlechinav-blog for really nice detailed write-ups of ritual styles within mediterranean trance tradition - there's a lot of specifics and information that clearly comes from experience.
Lee Harrington and Raven Kaldera are two white trans dudes who wrote books in the late aughts about the intersections of pagan ritual and kink - I do not know your relationship with that world but their books are an option for practical techniques. there's some predictable cultural appropriation and gender shit mixed up among the good stuff so bear that in mind. (I recommend these texts for generating ideas, not as like... Perfect Guides to Follow Blindly.)
if you're interested in historical context, Yulia Ustinova's academic work about ancient mystery cults has been super useful in ritual planning for rocket and me. the flow that works has worked for centuries. she has a bunch of papers up for free on academia.edu.
I'm scraping my brain for more Literally How Do I Do This sorts of resources and am honestly coming up a bit short but I don't want to leave this response to languish in my drafts. (I have been wanting to write something up on these topics for myself anyway - perhaps I will put some effort into making a zine or something.)
the tools you will find most commonly referenced for state alteration are, generally: substances (you are avoiding this one), rhythm/music, repetitive movement, sensory deprivation, pain/endurance, sharp changes in sensory experience (dark/light, loud noise/silence), and sensory triggers (scents/sounds/garments/etc which signal to the body that it's time to drop into a trance state). there are others but these are the most common imo. you can dig into any one of them in particular via JSTOR etc if it's easier than trying to reference the umbrella topic in a broader sense.
folks with suggestions, please sound off in the replies. I'll reblog when I have more thoughts on this. 💖
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yuurivoice · 3 days ago
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Can't say it's too much, but I've been doing my damndest to keep my friends even a little hopeful. It's hard work, considering the state of things, and I don't blame the defeatist mindset they (and admittedly, I) fall into sometimes, but, damn it, we can't comply ahead of schedule. We can't fall for scare tactics. That's what they want us to do. But aside from trying to hold myself and my friends together with duct tape and super glue, there's always, always fictional men. That's how I'm coping, anyways.
Anyways. Just a reminder to everyone stuck in the shit that we can get through this together. We aren't doomed yet. Don't comply ahead of time, and, PLEASE, stay with us. One day, we'll see their obituaries. Live, if only for that.
Anon is spittin', facts all around. Big emphasis on complying ahead of schedule, I am hoping that a large segment of fence sitters, moderates, etc. see this shit and recognize that like.....hey, you gave an inch, they took a mile, and now you need to anchor down and pull back on all this rope or they're gonna choke whatever alleged liberties we had right tf out of ALL of us. There's no room for otherism, or feeling like "well, that's their problem" because your domino is just a few bricks down from those being targeted now.
It's definitely scary and stressful. Take care of yourselves, but be ready for whatever the coming months or years may bring. It starts with some hard conversations with the folks in your proximity who were misguided and ignorant. I personally had to swallow my bitterness and resentment in hopes that the folks I've known who weren't on my side before can see clearly what is on the horizon now.
Some can't, or won't. Not everyone will see reason. But some will. Some will recognize that there is no moral compromise to be made with hate, and that whatever differences they may have with the people they find so strange and different are far less than the differences they have with evil. That's the scale we're working with now, and it's not hyperbole, it's historical pattern recognition.
Anywho. Morning yap session over. Take care of yourselves.
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nalesnik-z-morela · 1 day ago
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Good Omens The Final bingo bc i've been having Thoughts sice i watched s1 and s2
About the way of presenting the movie:
🔹Narration like in s1
🔹Minisode(s)? (i'm almost hopeless)
🔹"The present day" boards [btw how tf long are Aziracrow going to be in the divorce??]
🔹S1 and s2 references
🔹New stuff from s1 and s2 we'll understand better/differently after watching the final (like Crowley jokingly pointing some weapon at Aziraphale in s1) (or i hope that w/out reading the book but after watching The Final, for example, it would be more obvious that it was Aziraphale who set this policeman's notes on fire)
Stuff i really hope to see (🔶) and everything else i think would make sense in the series (🔸):
🔶Book references that weren't used yet (well, im pretty sure we'll get those)
🔶Clear Terry Partchett vibes from the book (i need this, the whole fandom does)
🔶Aziracrow dancing waltz to the main theme PLEASE
🔶The dance ending (inspired by "Tango" by S. Mrożek, i will elaborate on that because i came up with beautiful symbolism to this, the link will be here when i make the post)
🔶Aura Centauri reference? (It would make perfect sense with the theory post to-be-linked above at at least two levels)
🔶Aziraphale and Crowley wearing clothes that aren't they usual colours as a symbol of not belonging anymore to Hell or Heaven
🔶"Just enough of a bastard to be worth liking"
🔶"My dear", "dearest" (PLES IM BEGGIN ON MY KNES)
🔶Silly Bible references
🔸The thing opening car window -?? The time corb?
🔸Crowley saving Aziraphale
🔸Or Aziraphale saving Crowley
🔸Aziraphale in Heaven doing Inteligent Stuff™/looking for clues, trying to break the system
🔸Aziraphale getting that the system is broken? Quitting paricipating in it??
🔸They both feeling lonley ;-; (the Bildad episode reference intended)
🔸Crowley stopping time
🔸Or Crowley trying to make time go faster? Or just sleeping? [Fuck nah, that's too depressive] (is it even possible to wake him up if he can sleep any amount of time?)
🔸14th century? Aziraphale alone? (Aziraphale bringing 14th century vibes to the function [Heaven] bc it's the only time he was alone for such long time??)
🔸Crowley not following fashion or trends bc he feels that what he has now is somehow connected to Aziraphale
🔸"Show must go on" by Queen
🔸Aziraphale "falling" (realising Heaven doesn't want everybody's good and neither his, loosing his beliefs in it)
🔸Aziraphale not being able to handle stuff in Heaven and missing Earth (that he misses Crowley is obvious, he will fkn discorporate)
🔸"Nothing lasts forever" in a positive way
🔸Aziracrow holding each other's hands, touching (protectively), physical touch as love language pls ;-;
🔸Other love languages
🔸Aziraphale being protective about Crowley
🔸[Will this be the season where it's Aziraphale of them two who walks first again in the intro? Will they be there together at all? Probably not, maybe they will take turns] (edit: will there even be an intro? I hope so)
🔸The end of Earth? What will it be? Will it happen at all?
🔸The end of Crowley and Aziraphale? (Please don't)
🔸 Aziraphale and Crowley doubting their decision? At least not being sure anymore about it?
🔸Crowley honestly talking about his feelings of any kind
🔸So fkn tired, everyone
🔸Aziraphale being badass (just as in the books), maybe the "fall" would make him be more like this
🔸Aziraphale not being able to think while stressed (like when he made up Jim name, or told angels the Half Miracle was about love etc)
🔸Wings (maybe Aziraphale protecting Crowley from Hell and Crowley protecting Azi from Heaven)
🔸Aziraphale getting suddenly obsessed and lit up over something (like with The Clues, magic tricks, gavotte etc.)
🔸Crowley's flat again
🔸Any Crowley's music besides Queen and The Velvet Underground (because not only he has the Bentley, at his flat he has a whole collection! Ordered alphabetically! We get tones of Aziraphale's books but no Crowley's music. Or am i overlooking something?)
Because i need it and Aziracrow needs it but i'm afraid to hope for it:
🟡Aziraphale and Crowley hugging, embracing (comfortingly, comfortably)
🟡"If performing at the West End doesn't make you a professional conjurer, i don't know what does" paralel but the most honest, from the bottom of heart
🟡"I told you to trust me. And you did!" paralel
🟡Angel and demon dancing on a top of a pin
🟡"Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen (it wouldn't really add much in most contexts i'm imagining but one: as a contrast to those tough, depressive even, times of separation, i just need Aziracrow to have a really good time together, pretty please)
About characters and lore bc im curious (or just because):
◽More Gabriel & Beelzebub content
◽More angel Crowley content
◽Bentley playing Aziraphale's music
◽God
◽The rooftop scene from s2 intro
◽"You get people wet, they're standing in the rain, look each other in the eyes and - vavoom! They realise they were meant for each other" but it's Aziracrow (jk... unless?) (edit: well it actually already happened as im thinking about it now)
◽Adam?????
◽The four horsepeople because the world is ending again (i want those bikers who were behind them in the book to have The Conversation)
◽Characters like Tyler, you know the kind
◽Agness Nutter prophecies?
◽Past apology dance(s)
◽Maggie and Nina seeing that something is definitely not alright, also not knowing where Aziraphale is
◽Muriel learning to interact with people (i mean the process)
◽Aziraphale-Adam paralel: Aziraphale telling God that they're not his parent (the paralel shouldn't be exact but the line should stand, i think)
◽Aziraphale telling God/Heaven that he's a fallen angel (as he thought in the Bildad episode), maybe telling other angels that they are/should be fallen
◽"That is not on!" and present Cowley as contrast paralels (;-;)
◽Stairs to/from Heaven/Hell (not elevators)
◽Why is Metatron a thing
◽What did Metatron need Muriel for (except for replacing Aziraphale)? They're literally waiting to see
◽Who miracled Bentley? Was it Crowley or was it not?
◽Aziraphale's golden marks
◽The 1941 photo
◽I'd like to point out that tartan probably WAS fashionable at some point, what does Crowley think about it? Can we see him in it?
◽Aziraphale lying to God. Again.
◽Is Aziraphale insecure about his body? ("Crowley's" fit while bathing in holy water, his everyday fits, his reaction to Gabriel telling him he's fat etc he's litterally me, no free will in that brain)
◽Did something happen between 1941 and (as far as i remember) 1967 and if so, what was it
◽Miscomunication as a parallel to the wink of the two nuns (or was what we've got everything we're getting?)
◽Nina being silly in a sister Mary way
◽War between Heaven and Hell, before the beginning (also i want to know what monkey Furfur was talking about. Or if it's just me not getting a reference)
◽Creation of Hell, Lucifer and all the demons
◽Time loop?
◽Aziraphale's ring lore (maybe it has something to do with Heaven, i want symbolic stuff with it)
◽Who called Aziraphale to ask about Agnes Nutter's book in s1?
◽Other demons pre fall
◽Heaven lore
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window-on-the-west · 9 days ago
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trying to get it through my head that it's okay for me to have unusual interests. it's okay for "weird" things to make me happy. also, my interests don't need to be popular or even shared by my friends for them to be important. my friends aren't going to think i'm crazy or stupid for having them. hiding who i am is not going to get me anywhere in life and i'm kind of sick of making myself palatable for no reason other than to appease the fear and disgust that live inside me
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inkskinned · 4 months ago
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
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nostalgia-tblr · 11 months ago
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"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.
#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago#i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really#that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it#but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there!#& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream#chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read#yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA???#you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay#i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk.#BUT ANYWAY#fic related#ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types#who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict#though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here#(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)
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in 2024 I wanna stop hearing about betterhelp
#elise's posts#SO many youtubers etc I like are promoting this shit#fyi for those who don't know it's a REALLY unethical business trying to take advantage of the mentally ill#and before you say 'but how else am I meant to find a therapist that does online sessions'#post-pandemic most therapists offer this#and if you want the whole 'I can text my therapist for therapy anytime 24/7' thing...#sorry I know it might sound useful but it's SUPER bad for both your own mental health and your therapist's#sorry but therapists are not meant to be there for you 24/7#that's not their job and it's really unhelpful for YOU to become dependant on a 24/7 therapist#betterhelp do not vet their therapists thoroughly#and some people say they have been evangelised to on betterhelp by preachers who ask the algorithm to assign them queer and atheist clients#many reputable therapists state that it's a terrible business model promoting unhealthy practices to patients#it claims to be the cheapest option but it's more expensive than the most expensive therapist I've ever had (I'm in the UK)#and significantly more expensive than the cheapest who was still good and probably more qualified than some people on betterhelp#you pay extra for the middleman#(being allocated a therapist you didn't choose and vet yourself isn't great anyway imo surely you want agency in this huge decision?)#and I'm sorry but pride counselling is a branch of the same company#please just look for therapists that specialise in your needs through a regulatory model and get in touch with them directly#not all of them have waitlists and tbh if every therapist on betterhelp is available whenever what does that say about them
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savage-rhi · 2 months ago
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🫂
#i've had many people ask me in the DMs what could be done to help me out given the orange menace is coming back into power#the best things for me right now (I can't speak to others) is this: 1. Keep supporting my creative endeavors#no matter how little I might post or interact. Please hype me up. I need community. I need spirit to survive.#2. Help me find resources that will help myself and others. Food banks. Community meets. Passports. Finances. Mental health etc.#these are important and I don't want others feeling like sitting ducks. Even though I'm scared I want to be a solution to the problem.#I am going to be a helper in this mess cause that's who I am and I need ammo in this capacity#3. Donate so I can up my ration storage. I've been collecting food water and nonperishables and I'm trying to stock up on medication#and other basic necessities. I'm collecting as if I'm preparing to be homeless again and if I am over capacity I'm giving rations to others#I've had to make peace with the fact I can't run away. I can't move to another country as I'm broke and poor like the rest of my loved ones#4. If you have friends who are disabled or a minority or lgbtq etc. do what you can to protect them and show them that you love them#and build community#5. Share my work and that of others. Who knows if we're gonna have sites like AO3 in the future or even access to tumblr.#this is all I can think of at the moment and again I can't speak for others this is what comes to mind for myself#And I admit I'm coming from a place of the worst case scenarios#because in my mind if I imagine I'm dead or homeless etc. and work my way backward to the next worst thing before that it unravels my fear#and it gives me back my power in the situation by sitting with those fears and giving them time to speak#because in my mind if I'm already dead if I'm already homeless or at war etc. etc. then its already happened and what else is there to fear#if I've been through everything already in mind?#I'm hoping that the worst case scenarios don't transpire but I can't ignore the fact many of them could and probably will happen#in some capacity but I can control the actions I take through prep and facing these fears one by one#and most importantly sticking to routine by making sure im healthy to help people#anyway this is why ive been quiet for a while besides for spending time with friends and loved ones recently to get over what happened#im going to keep going to my classes keep helping people through my jobs try to be creative when I have spoons and little by little#make sure I have enough of what I need to get through the storm and outlive the bastards in power#I'm not sure what sort of pink variant to assign this to but its along the magenta spectrum#love you guys#we'll get through this
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kuromi-hoemie · 3 months ago
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last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..
#like oof where do i even begin#for one... would recommend looking up what pedestalling is so u can catch urself when ur doing it.#and. hm. honestly even working on self worth n whatnot i think rly internalizing not 2 pedestal ppl cuts out a lot of self sabotage#like hello ppl in ur life r there bc they choose to be. you are worth it to them and they are showing u that w action.#u gotta be vulnerable.. u gotta trust in other ppl.. cautious optimism is fine but 😮‍💨😮‍💨#i hate when ppl assume what im thinking and feeling and act upon that. assumptions on assumptions.#my mom was like that in a mean spirited vindictive way. my ex would spiral if i took too long to respond stressed as hell#thinking that i had all these horrible thoughts about her or that i was just using her like holy shit I'm just sitting here drawing ajsjka#i am trying to make friends. i am recovering from my own personal circumstances and trying to figure myself out etc.#was also actively working on finding myself as a trans woman bc it was so early in my transition.#idk. like damn ppl have Lives‚ hobbies‚ other ppl they talk to‚ they take time for themselves.#if u don't know and ur stressed about it‚ ask..? but then believe ppl when they answer idk.#sorry.. I've annoyed myself lmao. it was wild... things were dead simple on my end but she came up w hella things she swore HAD to have bee#true and after breaking up w her she kept DMing me w long ass self deprecating vents and mischaracterisations#i had to block her after a while like 😐 u ever see somebody go to therapy and get worse somehow#i cannot fw people who have low self esteem anymore but like i sympathize from a distance lol#hello from the other side of the interaction... self love/worth is hard but please try#ur mischaracterization of ppl based on assumptions is hurting them and it will alienate ppl n push them away#and then become a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.. but also take what I'm saying w a grain of salt 🤷🏾‍♀️#i just have my personal experiences
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orcelito · 3 months ago
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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skrunksthatwunk · 8 days ago
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i came back to the dorm and one of the turtles is straight up missing (...she's probably dead is my guess but i didn't wanna hit my roommate with that question during class yk) and the tank (which still contains a live turtle) is full of fucking BUBBLING algae my roommate's stuff was On My Bed the floor is. gross and roomie's cat's (pretty limited amount of) toys are nowhere to be seen (meaning he's attacking me and i have nothing to redirect him with) one of my baskets has been shredded and ??? one of my skirts (which was presumably hung up before i left) was found on the floor of my closet fucking dried stiff and stained both yellow AND glittery????? everything smells awful in a familiar way i can't quite identify and the floors are sticky in a bunch of places. what the FUCK is going on
#i don't have like a mop or anything! what am i gonna do sponge the floors down??#she said she doesn't remember if the closet was opened or closed but like. nothing i had in there could have done that to the skirt#(...probably? the only liquid i had in there was fucking. laundry detergent)#(and there's no evidence of that spilling or leaking)#im trying to figure out how reasonable it'd be to like. confront my roommate about this#she's got a lot going on and i am Not the kind of person who's gonna give her shit for some mess#but it was actually ridiculous this time#she was staying in the dorm over winter break and i wasn't. for context#side note but rascal has Another new bed? he doesn't even care about beds very much WHERE ARE HIS TOYS. HELP ME? PLEASE?#im so tired pls it's the FIRST DAY BACK#god im not smart enough for this. i asked her and she said she doesn't pay attention to whether or not my closet door#is closed and like fair ig but smth about it is off to me bc like How Else Would It Have Gotten Like That#im confident it was closed when i came in and it was almost certainly closed when i left like 5 weeks ago#but im. really not good at assessing whether or not ppl are lying to me. like idk maybe it was some kind of mysterious leak#or i hung it up to dry and it fell and dried weird (idr if it was wet or not when i left)#my own distrust of her for how she treats her animals AND my sympathy for struggling with caring for animals#in the midst of burnout/a very demanding life are at odds and both are biasing me in opposite directions#well anyway i can't unpack a lot of my stuff bc im just. confounded by it#i'll clean the floor over there later i just can't right now im too out of it#also rascal has been very sweet too he's just Extremely pent up over the whole 'small room with Literally Nothing to do all day' life he has#truthfully he smells/his fur feels kinda weird too but it might just be bc ive been gone for a bit#bc i feel like i remember that from last time too#i could forgive a lot of these things individually but all of them at once? man.#another entry in 'is she depressed or just not very considerate?'#(<- she's never mentioned anything approaching depression/etc i just can't imagine.. not being depressed)#but the turtle thing is the worst bc like. how do i even bring that up. i don't wanna reopen that wound yk#and while there's a bit of 'see i told you' going on she probably feels bad enough already right. maybe#but she also doesn't know Shit about how to care for turtles and ignored my warnings. that turtle was sick for months#and vets are expensive but she'll spend money on these high end shoes as they drop and then act too broke to get a $10 heat bulb. whatever#idk. i should've pushed her harder. it hasn't really sunken in yet but it's my fault too. guh
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rainingincale · 4 months ago
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Should i just unfollow my ex-mp, because ngl I feel like im just torturing myself at this point
(Im seriously asking and you should tell me yes)
#he just keeps tweeting the most stupid shit.#like you can just not be racist its not that hard#like the only reason im still following him is just to keep tabs of this exact bullshit#but some of the stuff he says/retweets genuinely angers me so much#and the worst thing ia that i cant. do. anything. about. it.#and that is driving me mad#so im struggling between would i rather Know that someone is shitty and be able to see it#or just unfollow and give myself peace of mind because at the end of the day#what is having this info gonna do for me#god i actually hate this motherfucker like he literally was at mosques handing out flyers with the palestine flag on it and look at his#islamophobic ass now. fuck you. not to mention not a WORD om palestine since. not even a word on lebanon now#but he Has mentioned how the 'culture' in Afghanistan and 'other such countries' are not valid#🎤 heres me handing you a mic please further explain what you think these 'cultures' are. do you also mention the us where child marriages#are legal in many states? have you literally EVER mentioned anything about the rise in sexism in our own country.#it just pisses me off because i am so angered and DESPISE whats going on in Afghanistan. but anytime i try to look for info and sources to#post about it. anyone commenting it is fucking racist and or a t*rf. like im not even fucking joking. like why is it so hard to realise tha#MUSLIMS HATE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS TOO. AND I IMAGINE A LOT AFGHANI CITIZENS AS WELL. as per usual shitty fucking men MAKE UP THESE RULES#based on nothing because islam ENCOURAGES education in women. it allows divorce. abortion. THESE THINGS ARE PART OF OUR CULTURE THAT ARE#not part of 'Christian culture' but no one would ever even say that because they know its dumb!! and not every Christian believes that!!#and lets not even get started on how western colonisation leads to all this turmoil in the first place.#anyways to conclude. brown people are not just inherently sexist/homophobic/racist/bigoted etc. claiming they are and that their 'culture'#promotes it is SO BEYOND FUCKING RACIST I NEED YOU TO THINK 2 SECONDS BEFORE YOU JUST RANDOMLY SAY SHIT.#and like. a shitty terrorist group enforcing backwards rules on its population is not 'culture'. i think thats whats bothering me. like why#are you further demonising and ostracising people who are already so isolated as is. you dont even know anything about them and then you#you just make this big washjng statement.#i actually could say so much more btw#and even some of the comparisons i made are not even fully equivalent. and i Want to go into it. but i cba. i just woke up and im probably#gonna delete this.#if yoi have read this far pls just answer my q in the og post and tell me to unfollow this man before i lose all my marbles xD#le text post
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sweetshuga · 3 months ago
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MS ✰ String you out ✧ CS
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───~𓆩♡𓆪~───
Warnings⚠︎ Smut!, Suggestive remarks!, strong language!, threesome!, size kink, lowkey breeding kink, pet names, p in v, dp, unprotected sex (do not), oral (m! receiving), squirting, vibe, slight intoxication (but full consent), etc.
Word count. 3k
Note. English is not my first language! Not proofread!
Psa. Matt refers to reader as "pretty" and Chris refers to reader as "ma", just so you don't get confused with the dialogues.
Sum. Everything goes south when you show up at the campus Halloween party in a tiny black witch costume; becoming their prey for the night.
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You weren’t prepared when your best friend came knocking at your door with a big duffle bag, trying to convince you to come to the annual Halloween party, but you had already decided to stay in your dorm room and continue doing your assignments.
"C’mon, don’t be like that, I even bought us matching costumes," she stepped inside, letting you close the door behind her. "I can help you do your make-up, please?" Your friend begged, plopping down on your bed. You sighed and rubbed your temple, "I told you already, I’m not going, that Halloween party will probably be just like a frat one and you know how I am about frat parties."
Your friend crossed her arms with raised eyebrows, "no, it won’t be like a frat party, but I guess there’ll be those fraternity guys there since you know... Campus party, everyone’s gonna be there–" you cut her off, "except for me," causing her to collapse back onto your bed.
"Pretty please?" She pleaded again, jutting her bottom lip out dramatically, making you laugh. "No, like I said–" she cut you off with a groan, "c’mooon, Halloween happens only once a year..." her voice trailed off as a grin made its way onto her lips, "if you go this once, I won’t bug you again, like I promise I won’t ask you to come to frat parties with me."
You couldn’t help but be tempted with the deal, clearing your throat as you looked at her, "you serious?" She nodded vigorously, "yeah, I am, I am dead serious, so? will you?" You sighed and nodded, eliciting a happy "yay" from her.
She immediately spilled the contents from her huge duffel bag, tons of make-up products and two matching witch costumes. You picked one up, inspecting it. The costume was incredibly short and could almost pass off as a long shirt.
"Are you serious? This is what you picked?" She gave you a deadpanned look, "it’s Halloween! You know what they say, the only time of the year to be as slutty as you want." She nudged your arm, grinning, "plus I bet guys would go nuts when they see you in this."
𓆩♡𓆪
Your friend helped you with your make-up, and as you looked in the mirror, you felt like you were someone else, in a good way. The costume was short, but it made you feel a bit more confident than usual. The black heel boots you had lying around – that you’ve been wanting to wear for so long – seemed to match the vibe of the dress.
The long sleeves and overall style of the costume had already started to grow on you. "Not too bad," you said as you curled your hair, "yeah? told you so," your friend grinned triumphantly, making you roll your eyes in a playful manner.
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The moment you arrived at the party, your ears immediately rang at the loud music, "fuck, why is it so loud here?" you shouted to your friend, trying to get your words across the short distance, but the music drowned out your voice.
"It’s always this loud, you’re just not used to it, c’mon, let’s get drinks!" She dragged you towards the table of drinks, expertly weaving through the crowd. Alcohols that you didn’t even know the names of were stacked in an oddly neat way along with soft drinks, water and way too many solo cups.
A girl standing by the table, dressed as the grinch, offered to make you and your friend drinks, halloween specials. As you were sipping on your drink, you noticed a pair of guys, almost identical looking.
"Holy fuck, you know who they are?" you nudged your friend, jerking your head at the direction of the guys dressed as vampires. She followed your gaze and looked at them, "yeah?" she chuckled, "you don’t?" Shaking your head as you kept your gaze on the guys, unable to take it off of them.
"Of course you don’t, you’re always buried in schoolwork," she clicked her tongue, "they’re quite famous around campus you know?" You let out a huff, taking another big gulp of your drink, groaning at the burn of the mixed alcohols. "So? Who are they?"
"The one with the cap is Chris and the one that doesn’t have a cap is Matt, obviously, they’re identical triplets, but I don’t think Nick’s here today." You let out an "oh" sound of understanding before you took another sip of your drink.
"Heard they got a bro code or whatnot, like they wouldn’t hit the same girl," your friend shrugged, telling you all she knew about them, "yeah... couldn’t care less, c’mon let’s just dance or something," you said pulling your friend away from the table of drinks and onto the dance floor. You couldn’t help but feel interested despite your words.
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After one too many drinks and a few stolen glances later, you found yourself in a bathroom, two pairs of hands roaming over your body while you shared a kiss with one of the guys—the one with the cap.
The other one kissed your neck, trailing it down to your collarbone and leaving love bites there before going back to your neck. The one with the cap broke the kiss, "you know our names ma?" He breathed out, "uh... you’re Chris, and he’s Matt, right?" you asked hesitantly, the slight intoxication making your mind a jumbled up mess.
"Mhm—bingo, pretty," Matt whispered, his lips grazing just under your earlobe, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Butterflies swarmed in your stomach as they continued to kiss and caress your body, your body reacting to every word and touch from them, making their faces light up with smirks.
Their fake fangs nipped at your skin, causing you to gasp softly each time. "Say, let’s go to a more comfortable place?" Chris suggested, "Yeah, can’t really do much in a bathroom," Matt chuckled as he added.
They led you out of the bathroom and weaved through the crowd of people dancing. You tried to find your friend to tell her you were going but you couldn't find her in the crowd. Suddenly, you got a message and a photo from her apologizing saying that she was gonna head home with her boyfriend since it was getting late. How convenient.
You sighed and let the guys lead you out of the party, your costume rode up ever so slightly as you tried to balance on the heel boots in your slightly tipsy state. You were very much aware of your surroundings and the two fellas, dressed as vampires, leading you towards their car.
"Where are we going?" You asked, a bit puzzled but willing. Matt and Chris both chuckled in unison at your confused state, "oh yeah, we’re gonna go to our place, you mind?" Chris asked as he looked back at you, "I mean, if you don’t feel comfortable with that, we could always hit up a hotel," Matt shrugged.
You hummed, looking back and forth between them before making your decision, "no, yeah, i’m good with your place," they both visibly relaxed and grinned, "alright then, hop in, pretty," Matt said as he opened the backseat door.
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The drive to their place was fairly fast, accompanied by small talks and laughter, but that quickly turned into heated kisses and breathy moans once you got inside their house. Stumbling into one of their rooms, they started to strip you out of the skimpy costume.
Gently pushing you on the bed before they started to strip themselves, your gaze raked over their bodies as you waited on the bed, biting your lip in anticipation. Once they were matching you in nakedness, they sat on either side of you, starting to lavish attention to your body once again.
"Fuck, you’re so beautiful ma, so fucking beautiful," Chris murmured against the swell of your breast, "mhm... so pretty" Matt whispered an agreement in your ear before kissing along your jawline, his hand caressing your body, slowing inching down to cup your mound.
You hissed softly when his fingers made in contact with your swollen clit, slick with arousal, and throbbing for attention. The brothers quickly picked up on your growing need and desperation as they saw just how wet you had become.
Your folds glistened in the dim light of the bedside lamp, the obvious need evident in your tone when Chris plunged a finger inside your tight heat. "Fu—ck," you moaned softly, your breathing a lot more ragged now that he was moving his digit in and out of you, slipping in a second finger and smirking at how you seemed to suck in his fingers.
"Someone’s eager," Matt chuckled, his voice a bit deeper than usual, betraying his arousal. The pads of his fingers started to circle your sensitive bundle of nerves, eliciting slightly louder moans from you.
The feeling was already so pleasurable, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol making you feel more than usual or just the brothers themselves, either way you knew you were incredibly turned on.
They adjusted your position, easily manhandling you, but their touch was gentle– almost tender if you will. The new position gave them more to work with. You were on your hands and knees and they stood on their knees on either side of you, still squeezing and caressing every inch of skin they could touch.
They were big – huge even – it made you feel a bit nervous. They were easily 10", and who knows how thick, standing tall and proud. You gulped softly when Chris gripped your hip with one hand and led his length towards your aching pussy. The tip of his cock slid up and down your slit, making you whine and push back against him.
They chuckled at your needy gestures and sounds, "you’re so responsive ma, ’s intoxicating," Chris emphasized his words with a slap on your ass, causing you to jolt and whine, his hand gently caressing the reddening skin.
Matt, being the one in front of you, caressed your cheek and made you look up at him by lifting your face by your jaw. Smirking when he saw the desperation in your eyes, "what’s up pretty? Can’t handle a little teasing?" He spoke with faux sympathy, making you all the more desperate.
Before you could open your mouth to speak, you felt the sudden stretch, causing you to move forward—trying to get away from the sensation, only to be held in place by two pairs of hands. Chris clicked his tongue, "relax ma," his hands squeezed your ass, sinking his fingers in your plush flesh as he moved forward, filling you completely.
"Oh fu—ck, Chris too big–" your moans got muffled when Matt fed you his length, groaning at the sensation of your mouth on him and the vibrations from your moans as Chris took you from behind.
Chris’ pupils dilated when he saw the way your ass recoiled against his hips with each deep and slow thrust, he gripped your hips tighter and surged forward with increasing fervor. The force of it pushed you forward, each thrust making you involuntarily deepthroat Matt, making them both groan at the pleasure.
Chris suddenly pulled out, and stood up, "I think I’ve got something nice." Matt chuckled when he understood what Chris implied and pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop. You looked at them confused, feeling empty and still aching with need.
A few minutes later, Chris came back with a vibrator and a bottle of lube in hand. You blinked rapidly as your gaze flickered between the brothers, making them chuckle, "don’t worry pretty, we’ll make you feel good, ’promise." Chris sat on the bed behind you, getting in position again.
"Alright ma, up," he playfully slapped your ass before helping you back in the position you were in moments ago, but this time you were facing Chris with Matt behind you. Your moans filled the room once again when Matt entered you, stretching you deliciously.
Your moans were quickly muffled by Chris’ cock, which you eagerly let in your mouth, and the pleasure was already bordering on too much. Your body tensed when you felt vibrations on your clit. Matt groaned loudly when he felt you clench around him like a vice, his hips picking up pace in response.
Your moans vibrated around Chris’ shaft, making him buck his hips faster, fucking your mouth as he gripped your hair in a makeshift ponytail. Your eyes rolled back briefly as Matt hit that spot deep within you, the one that made sparks dance behind your eyes, the one that made you moan louder.
The vibrations of the vibe increased, making your legs shake as you tried to ground yourself from the intense pleasure that you wondered if you could take any more of. That was when Matt held you by your waist and started to target a specific spot—your g-spot.
The feeling of him hitting your g-spot with such precision and the vibrator doing its job on your throbbing clit, made you squirm, trying to get away from the intensity of it all, but their hands kept you in place. With a loud muffled moan you squirted, unable to warn them due to Chris’ cock in your mouth. The brothers let out breathy chuckles when they saw the mess you were making, but didn’t stop nevertheless.
They followed you soon after, their releases filling up your holes. You couldn’t even keep yourself steady on your legs and arms anymore, it was all threatening to buckle under you any second.
Carefully, they laid you down, and seeing the wrecked state you were in just seemed to fuel their desires further. Their semi-hard lengths hardened once more as they gazed down at you. Your disheveled hair, the hickeys adorning your body, Matt’s release trickling out of you and Chris’ dripping down your chin.
Matt’s hand came up to caress your side, causing a breathy sigh to escape your lips, "you think you can go one more round pretty?" Chris chuckled softly, "mhm—ma, don’t think we can get enough of you, think you can take us both?"
"Both? like at the same time?" you whispered, your voice already hoarse from overuse. They nodded, chuckling as they helped you into a sitting position, "yeah, we’ve got lube, but it’s fine if you’re not up for it, pretty—" you cut him off, "well, I don’t mind, i mean... if it can fit that is..." your voice trailed off as you looked down at their laps.
"Don’t worry, ma, we’ll make it fit," is all you heard before they got in position. Matt laying with you on top of him and Chris behind you. The pop of the lube cap made your body shiver in anticipation, the mildly cold oil jolting every nerve as it ran down your slit, making you shudder.
Matt slowly pushed inside, eliciting a soft moan from you, and as you finally adjusted to his size, Chris nudged himself on your already full pussy. "Shh— ’s alright, pretty, just relax," Matt cooed from under you, his arms holding you in place as Chris entered you from behind. You squirmed under their touch, moaning loudly, and the stretch being too much, too big.
Chris grunted at the tightness as he pushed inside, stilling when he bottomed out inside you, "shit ma, so fuckin’ tight," he hissed through his teeth. Matt chuckled, his voice huskier, "yeah, you like how we stretch you, pretty? how fuckin’ big we are?" You could only mumble a "yes" that sounded more like a whimper.
They let you adjust to their sizes—the fullness and the stretch. Their hands caressed your body soothingly, whispering sweet nothings in your ears, and kissing your shoulders and neck.
You finally relaxed around them, moaning softly at the sudden pang of pleasure from being filled to the brim. Your pleasure didn’t go unnoticed by Matt and Chris, chuckling to themselves as they started to move. Your world blurred as you felt an immense pleasure you’ve never felt before.
Your body moved on its own, meeting their thrusts, wanting more of that delicious feeling. And all that only made them move faster – harder – thrusting into you with renewed fervor. Your hands clutched whatever you could hold, grounding yourself so you wouldn’t get consumed by the pleasure.
"Fu—ck pretty, so fuckin’ tight," Chris mumbled an agreement, both of them holding you in place as they took what they wanted. You could only hold on, and moan for them. "Shit, gonna fill you up so good— swell you with my cum, ma," Chris groaned, "Yeah, fuck— you ready for us pretty?" Matt added, muffling his sounds of pleasure on your shoulder.
You mumbled a plea for them to cum inside you—to which they gladly did, groaning and moaning as they filled you up. Their combined release spilled out from the sides, making a mess.
Gently pulling out from your well-used hole, their chests heaved with exertion. In spite of their softening cocks, they couldn’t help the feral, almost animalistic, feeling when they saw the sight of their mixed release trickling out of your pussy.
They both groaned under their breaths before exchanging knowing glances, a silent conversation between them, and slowly alerting you about their insatiable desires for you. "You okay, pretty?" Matt’s hand caressed your cheek while Chris squeezed your ass, "we’re not done with you ma, not by a long shot."
They chuckled as they saw you look at them surprised, but didn’t protest or say no, instead pulled them closer – a silent plea for more. "We’re gonna fuck this pussy so good," Matt whispered in your ear, "and fill you up with our spend until you swell with our babies," Chris added, whispering in your other ear.
Their words were filled with promises, and that alone made you feel immense pleasure, a need for more.
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The next morning, you woke up with a bad headache, and sore all over. It wasn’t a surprise that you had a hangover but it was a surprise when you became aware of your surroundings. You were in an unknown room, entangled with not one, but two guys. It didn’t help that they were brothers, identical brothers.
"Heard they got a bro code or whatnot, like they wouldn’t hit the same girl." Your friend’s words echoed in your head. Guess it wasn’t true after all, their bro code.
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wc. 3,086
Isa's notes. I've never written a Chratt fic before, or anything with two love interests, or a threesome in that matter so like... my bad if it's shit.
xoxo 𓆩♡𓆪
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