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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Bad Buddy and the Subversive Sentimentality of BL Storytelling

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This Bad Buddy article contains some spoilers, though not for the series finale.

Bad Buddy wrapped up its 12-episode tale today. The Thai rom-com about two boys who fall in love in spite of the rivalries between their parents and friend groups, became one of the sweetest stories of late 2021, a beacon of tenderness in a harsh world and a genre-defining example of the increasingly popular Boys’ Love (BL) format. With the dramedy airing its final episode via WeTV and Thai channel GMMTV’s official YouTube channel, let’s take a moment to reflect back on why this show is so damn good and why you might want to consider embracing the rich, transnational world of BL drama.

Bad Buddy begins as fun-loving Pat (Pawat “Ohm” Chittsawangdee) and perfectionist Pran (Korapat “Nanon” Kirdpan) enter their first year of university in Bangkok. Pat is an engineering major, while Pran studies architecture—two faculties traditionally at odds with one another. Unbeknownst to their feuding friend-groups, the animosity between Pran and Pat goes back much further than college and the engineering-architecture rivalry. The two grew up next to one another in an affluent Bangkok suburb, and their families are enemies. Because of this, the two have been pitted against one another since birth, made into competing symbols of their parents’ successes and failures. It’s a lot of pressure, only intensified by the fact that these two can’t keep their hands off one another. In general, the show is an utter delight, with a flexibility in tone that sees the the story expertly shifting from gloriously goofy to devastatingly romantic to just plain devastating in the blink of a frame. (And don’t even get me started on how this show manages to make flirting over product placements like Canon printers and peppermint-scented nasal inhalers so goddamn charming.)

Bad Buddy is situated within the context of Thai BL dramas (known as “Y” in Thailand). BL, short for “Boys’ Love,” is a term that originated in Japanese culture to describe stories (e.g. manga, web novels, TV shows) that feature homoerotic relationships between men. While BL dramas fall under the umbrella of queer media, they are a sub-genre traditionally created by and for (straight) women, though this has never been the whole truth and both the perception and reality of who consumes BL is continuing to evolve as the genre grows. Today, the term “BL” is used in many different cultural contexts, though is most commonly applied to narratives coming from East Asian and Southeast Asian countries, and it is becoming increasingly mainstream and popular. The Thai entertainment industry in particular has embraced the genre. (Even though same-sex marriage is still banned in Thailand.) As the genre becomes more popular in more financially lucrative mediums in which men disproportionately have more opportunities, it is common for men to serve as creators of BL on-screen stories. (Bad Buddy is directed by queer filmmaker Backaof “Aof” Noppharnach, one of the best storytellers working in the Thai BL industry right now.)

While BL fandom is diverse, it does historically skew female, presumably because women are looking for narratives that eliminate the explicit depictions of the power imbalances that come with a constructed gender binary and that we are awash in in our daily lives. Sometimes, this means looking to escape into a world in which women—though not femininity—are removed from the equation. In Boys Love Manga and Beyond: History, Culture, and Community in Japan, academic Rio Otomo writes: “To say the reader disappears in BL may sound negative. But forgetting one’s gendered body, or floating away from a fixed identity, is essentially a liberating concept and, for that reason, it is the core idea of queer theory.”

Why are so many women interested in stories that center men and their romantic relationships? In short, because it is exhausting being a woman in a world that devalues, objectifies, and polices women. When it comes to fantasy, it’s often more pleasurable for us to imagine a relationship in which women do not exist than it is to imagine a relationship that contains both men and women, given the ways that gender has been constructed in our cultures. (“Of course,” notes Otomo, “this reader may not necessarily be a woman but instead a man who has a desire to transform existing social relations, and, hence, is searching for a new utopian vision.”)

Tying this quote and the narratives of other Philippine fans of #ThaiBL to one of my favourite pieces of queer theory 😀 pic.twitter.com/F1t8MLUr1z

— Dr Thomas Baudinette (@tbaudinette) January 21, 2022

Even within the context of BL, Bad Buddy is special. Like any genre, BL has its fair of problematic tropes; Bad Buddy subverts so many of them, making for a stronger, more inclusive story. There is no homophobia in the world of Bad Buddy, with many supporting characters going out of their way to express encouragement of same-sex relationships—even before it becomes known that any of the characters are queer themselves. The challenges the central couple faces in being together never have anything to do with their queerness. In another example of Bad Buddy subverting toxic tropes, both Pran and Pat make it clear that they are not “only gay for each other,” a common trope that can read as bi-erasure or a broader dismissal of queerness. In Bad Buddy, it is made clear that the characters have distinct, queer identities outside of their attraction to and love for one another.

Bad Buddy actively challenges the casual misogyny that seeps into many mainstream stories. At one point in the series, Pran calls Pat out when he makes a gendered joke about their roles as “husband” and “wife.” “Does calling me a wife make you feel superior?” asks Pran, pushing back against Pat’s casual misogyny. “You don’t need to call us husband and wife.”

More broadly, Bad Buddy‘s female characters are depicted as full humans, with complex interior lives of their own. While the series features Ink (Pansa Vosbein), a girl from Pat and Pran’s past is presented as a potential threat to their coming together, in a subversion of the “crazy ex-girlfriend” trope, it’s eventually made clear that the true obstacle is actually the two boys’ unexpressed jealousy and unwillingness to communicate with one another. Ink is not only uninterested in either of them romantically, but is supportive of their relationship. Past that, she has identities and interests outside of her relationships to the male leads. The same can be said for Pran’s mother, Dissaya (Paradee Vongsawad). Though Pat and Pran’s parents are sometimes the antagonists of the story, they are never treated as villains. When the unexpectedly complex secret behind the parents’ long-running feud is revealed, and Pran confronts Dissaya about it, the narrative makes space for Dissaya’s pain and perspective, even while she stands in the way of the central couple. Another three-dimensional female character comes in the form of Pat’s younger sister, Pa (Pattranite Limpatiyakorn), who represents the other major relationship in Pat’s life. When one of Pran’s friends expresses a romantic interest in Pa, Pat doesn’t fall into the common misogynistic “don’t touch my sister” response, but rather says it is up to his sister, encouraging the boy to go for it. Generally, Pa and Pat’s sibling relationship is one of the healthiest in the show, and a constant source of support and solace for both characters. Without giving too much away, the show also features a “girls love” subplot, less common in BL dramas, that is treated with as much tenderness and romance as the central couple’s story.

If it wasn’t apparent from the examples above, Bad Buddy is artfully constructed. (One climactic scene is soundtracked completely by Thai xylophone.) There are the performances of series stars Nanon and Ohm, who not only have killer chemistry but demonstrate an impressive range in their respective portrayals of two men coming of age while trying to balance their hearts, ambitions, and family pressures. The performances suggest a complete commitment to the material on the parts of the young actors, but also speak to the talent of director Aof, and the rest of his team. Good performances tend to come from the creation of a safe space for actors to be vulnerable and explore, and P’Aof seems to have done that with Bad Buddy.

Bad Buddy scores on visual storytelling too. While the show doesn’t have the budget of the average American TV show, P’Aof makes exquisite use of what he does have—and, by that, I mean: when a scene is emotionally significant, he directs the shit out of it. When Pat and Pran share their first kiss, it is on a Bangkok rooftop. The scene is one of the series’ longer ones, running for six, emotionally heightened minutes as the two finally address the sexual and romantic tension that has been building for five episodes. P’Aof doesn’t rush it (Pat literally sighs 4.5 times before he even approaches the other boy), knowing how important the moment is. As Pat confesses his feelings to Pran, the camera gets tighter on the two performers, and the lights of the city blur into something abstract and distant. For a moment, Pran and Pat are the only two people in the world, leading to a desperate (on Pran’s part) and euphoric (on Pat’s part) kiss that has both characters in tears. It’s one of the most romantic and devastating scenes of TV I have seen in a long time, and it is only the midway point of this story. (Also, Pat is wearing a muscle tee that reads “Baseball Mom,” one of many choice T-shirts for the character throughout the series run, which is just icing on the cake.)

Thai BL, like any other genre, comes with its strengths and weaknesses. As with other genres, it’s not for everyone, nor does it have to be. But, in a global media landscape still ruled by the redundant machismo of Hollywood storytelling, it’s a breath of warm, fresh air—a wonderfully queer story that also happens to be one of the TV’s most romantic shows.

There’s nothing inherently lesser about sentimental storytelling; there’s as much potential for narrative complexity and power in the tears and laughter of melodrama as there is in the violent shadows of grimdark drama. If you’re open to that potential, Bad Buddy‘s tender, joyful, often hilarious tale of two boys coming-of-age in love could be for you.

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bluewatsons · 4 years

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Maria Fernanda Laus et al., Body image and the role of romantic relationships, 5 Cogent Psychol (2018)

Abstract

A variety of sociocultural factors have been recognized as important influences on appearance-related issues but little research has examined the intersection between romantic relationships and body image among adults. This study examined whether self-evaluative and motivational investment in appearance, overweight preoccupation, and body satisfaction differ between men and women who were involved (or not) in a romantic relationship. Moreover, we investigated the associations between relationship experiences (relationship type, relationship length, commitment, passion, and intimacy) and body image. To that, 423 men (Mage = 45.32 ± 13.86 years) and 505 women (Mage = 43.52 ± 13.07 years) completed an online survey through the SurveyMonkey Audience database in the United States, including several measures of body image and relationship functioning. Our results demonstrated that the importance given to appearance was lower among uninvolved (“single”) participants; overweight preoccupation did not differ between men and women who were involved or not in a romantic relationship; and that single men and women were more dissatisfied with their overall appearance than adults who were romantically involved but not currently cohabitating. For men and women, romantic involvement plays a pivotal role in promoting and maintaining a less negative body image. The type of relationship and its functioning are also important aspects related to body image. This study provides some context for understanding the importance of romantic situation on one’s body image.

1. Introduction

A variety of sociocultural factors have been recognized as important influences on appearance-related issues, and there is little debate that family, peers, and the media play an important role on the development of children and adolescents’ body image (McCabe & Ricciardelli, 2003; Vincent & McCabe, 2000). However, as they transition into adulthood, individuals tend to seek/maintain a romantic partner, and it is surprising that little research has examined the intersection between romantic relationships and body image among adults.

In the present study, we examined whether psychological investment in appearance, weight concerns, and body dissatisfaction differ between men and women who were involved in a romantic relationship and those who were not romantically involved. We included more nuanced romantic relationship categories (e.g. non-cohabitation, cohabitation, and marriage) compared with prior research and we also investigated the association between body image and relationship characteristics and functioning (relationship length, relationship satisfaction, commitment, passion, and intimacy). The empirical basis of this study is guided by two important theories: the “selection hypothesis” of marriage and the “marriage market” theory.

1.1. Theoretical background

There is an extensive literature suggesting the existence of a marriage selection hypothesis (Horwitz & White, 1991; Horwitz, White, & Howell-White, 1996; Lee, 2015; Mastekaasa, 1992; Stutzer & Frey, 2006), which suggests that healthier people may be more likely to be selected into marriage, and the criteria to select a mate includes physical attractiveness and aspects related to mental and physical health (Goldman, 1993). In line with this assumption, Dion, Berscheid, and Walster (1972) asked participants to estimate the likelihood that physically attractive and unattractive people, both males and females, would marry early or marry at all. Results from this study demonstrated that attractive individuals were expected to marry earlier and to be less likely to remain single.

It has long been argued that men value physical attractiveness in potential mates more than women do, while women value a potential mate’s earning capacity more so than men (Buss, 1989; Stewart, Stinnett, & Rosenfeld, 2000). Several studies, however, have been demonstrating that this might not always be true. Eastwick’s works, for example, indicate that men and women have identical tendencies to associate physical attractiveness with the concept of an ideal romantic partner (Eastwick, Eagly, Finkel, & Johnson, 2011; Eastwick, Luchies, Finkel, & Hunt, 2014). Walster, Aronson, Abrahams, and Rottman (1966) conducted a classic study in which first-year college students were randomly paired with another at a dance, and answered questions about their attraction to their date, how interested they were in perusing a second date with their partner, and investigated, a few months later, who actually pursued a second date. Their results demonstrated that personality, self-esteem, and intelligence were unrelated to couple compatibility. The largest determinant of romantic interest was how attractive the participant’s date was. Further, a meta-analysis performed by Langlois and colleagues (2000) tested the prediction that attractiveness should be more important in how men judge and treat women than in how women judge and treat men. Their findings, however, did not support these predictions for either judgment or treatment—no gender difference was found in the importance of attractiveness. Finally, Buss, Shackelford, Kirkpatrick, and Larsen (2001) evaluated the cultural evolution of mate preferences over 57 years and found that both sexes increased the importance they attach to physical attractiveness in a mate. In sum, these data support the universal importance of attractiveness for partner preferences among men and women.

Studies that investigate attraction in the context of speed dating and online dating have also been demonstrating that self-reported mate preferences deviate markedly from actual mate choices (e.g. Eastwick & Finkel, 2008; Todd, Penke, Fasolo, & Lenton, 2007). That is, both men and women, in their actual partner choices, prefer more physically attractive partners to the same extent. For example, Kurzban and Weeden (2005) investigated the choices that people make in dating partners using data provided by a commercial dating service, and found that choices made by both men and women derived almost exclusively from physically observable attributes like attractiveness, body mass index (BMI), height, and age, while their choices were unrelated to other attributes such as education, religion, sociosexuality, having children, or desiring future children. Another study has also concluded that the strongest predictor of initial attraction in a speed-dating context was partner’s physical attractiveness, and, most importantly, men and women showed an extremely similar pattern (Luo & Zhang, 2009).

A second theoretical perspective from which our study was drawn relies on the competition established as people seek a partner, which presumably creates a “marriage market” (Becker, 1974). The success rate of attracting a mate is dependent on the individual’s own value in this market and it has been suggested that the incentives to make health/attractiveness investments to gain a high value on the marriage market vary with marital status (Lundborg, Nystedt, & Lindgren, 2007). For example, a qualitative study of newly married couples found that participants, once in a committed romantic relationship, became less concerned about gaining weight or being overweight (Bove & Sobal, 2011), possibly because they see themselves out of the “marriage market” and no longer need to attract an intimate partner (Dinour, Leung, Tripicchio, Khan, & Yeh, 2012). In this direction, studies have shown that intrasexual competition (ISC), which refers to rivalry amongst members of the same sex for access to mates, is strongly associated with drive for thinness and disordered eating behavior in women (Abed et al., 2012; Faer, Hendriks, Abed, & Figueredo, 2005). Thus, it is plausible that non-partnered individuals will invest more attention and resources to become more attractive to prospective partners.

It is noteworthy that people with high amounts of desired characteristics are more likely to couple with others of equally high value (e.g. social status, intellect), and individuals with lower value will pair with similarly “poor” others (Regan, 1998). In fact, because most people in America eventually marry (U.S. Census Bureau, 2015), less desirable physical characteristics, such as overweight or obesity, does not appear to prevent marriage but it may influence partner selection and mate quality (Averett, Sikora, & Argys, 2008). In light of this body of knowledge, body image concerns and investment in the physical self could be viewed as an adaptive way of securing and maintaining romantic relationships (Sanchez & Kwang, 2007).

1.2. Body image and romantic relationships

Body image is a multidimensional construct that includes self-perceptions of one´s physical appearance and attitudes about the body (Cash, 2012). Body image attitudes are classified into four components: body satisfaction, feelings (e.g. affect, emotions, anxiety, stress, discomfort), cognition (e.g. thoughts, social comparisons, investment in appearance, internalization of beauty ideals), and behavior (e.g. avoidance, body-checking) (Menzel, Krawczyk, & Thompson, 2011). Even though it is widely recognized that body image has several dimensions, a great deal of researchers use only one measure to assess the construct, commonly body dissatisfaction (Smolak & Cash, 2011). While this is an important aspect of body image, several others are also relevant to consider in the context of romantic relationships.

One dimension of special interest to the present study is the psychological investment in physical appearance, which has been neglected by researchers worldwide. Appearance investment represents the psychological importance of appearance in individual’s life (Cash, 2003), including the centrality of appearance to one’s sense of self (Cash, Melnyk, & Hrabosky, 2004). As reported by Thomas F. Cash in several occasions (i.e. Cash, 2003, 2012), there are two different forms of appearance investment, namely self-evaluative and motivational. Self-evaluative investment reflects the extent to which individuals define or measure themselves by their physical appearance, which they judge essential in their daily experiences. Motivational investment refers to the importance of having or maintaining an attractive appearance. It reflects the extent to which individuals engage in behaviors to manage their appearance. Importantly, self-evaluative investment is more dysfunctional than motivational investment (Cash, 2012). While the first is more predictive of negative body image, the second is thought to be relatively benign.

As already mentioned elsewhere, the influence exerted by family, peers, and the media on one’s body image is widely studied, but much less is known about how romantic relationships relate to various components of body image, especially at midlife. Here, the term “romantic relationships” will be used to indicate relationships in general (non-cohabitation, cohabitation, or marriage), unless otherwise specified.

We were able to find three studies that compared body dissatisfaction between married and single individuals. Friedman, Dixon, Brownell, Whisman, and Wilfley (1999) interviewed 16,377 men and women and investigated whether married individuals have comparable body image disturbance to non-married individuals. Results demonstrated that marital status was not significantly related to body dissatisfaction, but low marital satisfaction was significantly related to greater body dissatisfaction. Hoyt and Kogan (2001) examined body image and relationship satisfaction in 101 male and 187 female college students. The authors concluded that single, engaged, and married participants were equally satisfied with their appearance and physical attractiveness, but individuals who had less satisfying dating situations and sex lives were less satisfied with their overall appearance. Interestingly, those most dissatisfied with both their dating situations and sex lives were those who were not currently engaged in a dating relationship. Finally, Tom, Chen, Liao, and Shao (2005) investigated the importance of body image dissatisfaction as a function of marital status in 141 married couples and 274 single people. Body image dissatisfaction was observed in both married and single people at comparable levels, but single women rated it more important that they strive to change to reach the ideal body than did married women. The authors concluded that marriage decreases the importance of the ideal, thin, body and makes the impact of the unattainable body less powerful. Importantly, participants in their study reported high levels of marital satisfaction, leading the authors to speculate that relationship quality may be necessary to the mitigation of the importance of the ideal body image.

In this direction, Juarez and Pritchard (2012) examined the effect of three measures of relationship quality on body dissatisfaction in 256 women and 170 men. Results demonstrated a negative correlation between body dissatisfaction and trust and support in men and women, but relationship commitment was not related to body dissatisfaction. In a study conducted by Juda, Campbell, and Crawford (2004), 100 heterosexual women currently involved in a romantic relationship responded to three subscales of the Eating Disorders Inventory: Body Dissatisfaction, Drive for Thinness, and Maturity Fears; questions measuring perceived parental readiness, and perceptions of social support from their partners, family, and friends. The authors reported that higher levels of dieting symptomatology were uniquely associated with perceptions of relatively low levels of available support from romantic partners.

Some researchers included both partners in their studies to evaluate the influence of relationship functioning on body image. Markey and Markey (2006) examined young women’s satisfaction with their own bodies, their perceptions of their significant others’ satisfaction with their bodies, and their significant others’ actual satisfaction with their bodies. Ninety-five heterosexual couples completed a figure rating scale, a measure of relationship love and harmony, and informed the length or duration of couples’ relationships. None of the correlations between relationship quality and body satisfaction were significant, but relationship length was negatively associated with women’s perceived partners’ satisfaction. The study conducted by Morrison, Doss, and Perez (2009) with 88 heterosexual couples explored the relations between eating, weight, and shape concerns and relationship functioning (i.e. global relationship quality and negative relationship events) among men and women and did not find significant associations between the measures. Lastly, Goins, Markey, and Gillen (2012) examined men’s body image in the context of their romantic relationships and found that they expressed greater body satisfaction when there was a relatively high degree of sexual intimacy in the relationship.

As could be noticed in some studies cited above (Juda et al., 2004; Morrison et al., 2009), another important variable linked to body image and romantic relationships is weight concerns. Preoccupation on being overweight includes worries about being or becoming fat, consciousness of small changes in weight, and diet practices (Cash, 2000). In fact, some researchers have demonstrated that dieting behaviors can be associated to relationship status and relationship quality. For example, Markey, Markey, and Birch (2001) examined the relations between couples’ marital quality and dieting behavior. One hundred and eighty-seven married couples’ dieting behaviors, marital quality, BMI, weight concerns, depression, and self-esteem were evaluated, and the authors concluded that marital discord predicted unhealthy dieting behaviors among wives, even after wives’ BMI, weight concerns, self-esteem, and depression were controlled for.

In another study, Sheets and Ajmere (2005) explored the importance of weight in college students’ dating relationships and the expression of weight-related concerns between dating romantic partners. Five hundred and fifty-four undergraduates were interviewed, and results demonstrated that overweight women were less likely to be dating than their peers, and that weight was positively correlated with relationship satisfaction in men, but negatively correlated with satisfaction in women. Finally, Boyes, Fletcher, and Latner (2007) investigated unhealthy dieting (e.g. skipping meals, vomiting), healthy dieting (e.g. reducing calories, reducing, or eliminating snacks), and body satisfaction in intimate relationships in 57 predominantly unmarried couples. Results demonstrated that intimate relationships are linked in important ways with dieting and body image but that related psychological processes operate differently for men and for women. Women who dieted more and had more negative body image had partners who were less satisfied with their relationships,

Altogether, these studies demonstrate the necessity of clearly establishing which characteristics of relationships act as a positive influence on one’s body image. In this sense, several theories can be applied to determine which aspect of love is important to be considered. One of the most cited theory is the Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986), which deals both with the nature of love and with loves in various kinds of relationships. The theory holds that love can be understood in terms of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These three components are somewhat intercorrelated and have appeared in various other theories of love (Aron & Westbay, 1996).

In addition, little is known about body image in the context of different types of relationships. For example, there are several differences between marriage and cohabitation, whether the latter is thought as an alternative or a precursor to marriage. In general, cohabiting relationships are shorter and entail less commitment and investment than marriage (French, Popovici, Robins, & Homer, 2014). On the other hand, cohabitation resembles marriage in several respects, providing individuals security to a greater extent than non-cohabitation. Thus, one might postulate that body image experiences may vary according to relationship arrangements.

In sum, further research exploring the connections between romantic relationships and body image is still needed. As negative body image is associated with poor psychosocial functioning (e.g. perfectionism, low self-esteem, and eating disturbance) (Cash et al., 2004), the investigation of factors that might influence appearance-related issues is essential for establishing and improving intervention strategies. Thus, this study aimed to evaluate if the importance given to appearance (namely psychological investment in appearance), overweight concerns, and body dissatisfaction differ between men and women who were involved (or not) in a romantic relationship. Moreover, we investigated the association between relationship experiences (type of relationship, relationship length, commitment, passion, and intimacy) and body image. We extended prior research by investigating several components of body image (e.g. investment in appearance and overweight concerns), including more nuanced romantic relationship categories (e.g. non-cohabitation, cohabitation, and marriage), and exploring the association between measures of body image and relationship quality that have not yet been investigated (e.g. intimacy and passion).

1.3. Hypotheses

Hypothesis 1: Single men and women will report higher levels of self-evaluative and motivational investment in appearance, will be more concerned about their weight, and will be more dissatisfied with their overall appearance than their romantically involved counterparts.

Hypothesis 2: The longer men and women are single, the higher their self-evaluative and motivational investment in appearance, weight concerns, and body dissatisfaction.

Hypothesis 3: Among romantically involved adults, relationship duration, relationship satisfaction, and higher levels of commitment, intimacy, and passion will be negatively associated with self-evaluative and motivational investment in appearance, weight concerns, and body dissatisfaction.

2. Methods

2.1. Participants

Participants included 423 men and 505 women who were members of the SurveyMonkey Audience database in the United States (https://www.surveymonkey.com/mp/audience/our-survey-respondents/). Participants were excluded from the study if they were younger than 18 years old; currently or recently pregnant (within the past 12 months); had any medical condition that may affect their physical appearance (e.g. AIDS, cancer, severe burns); or if they recently had or were seeking weight loss surgery. On average, men were 45.32 years of age (SD = 13.86, ranging from 18 to 67 years) and women were 43.52 years of age (SD = 13.07, ranging from 18 to 72). The majority of the sample included white (men = 69.3%; women = 76.6%) and heterosexual (men = 87.0%; women = 85.9%) adults. Forty-two percent of men and 44.8% of women had attained at least a bachelor’s degree. About 29.3% of men were normal weight and 69.7% were overweight or obese. Among women, 39.2% were normal weight and 56.4% were overweight or obese. Mean BMI was 27.70 kg/m2 (SD = 5.47) for men and 26.98 kg/m2 (SD = 6.53) for women. Forty-two percent of men were single (i.e. not dating; divorced, separated, or widowed, but not currently involved in a close romantic relationship) and 58.4% were romantically involved: 11.1% were not cohabitating, 9.9% were cohabitating, and 37.4% were married. Twenty-seven percent of women were single and 73% were romantically involved: 10.3% were not cohabitating, 16.8% were cohabitating, and 45.7% were married.

2.2. Measures

2.2.1. Sociodemographic variables

Participants self-reported their age, height, weight race/ethnicity, educational level, sexual orientation, romantic relationship status—(1) not involved (single, casually dating one or more persons, divorced, separated, or widowed, but not currently involved in a close romantic relationship) or (2) involved (exclusively dating one person and not living together, exclusively dating one person and living together, engaged to be married and not living together, engaged to be married and living together or married), duration of non-attachment, and current relationship duration.

2.2.2. Body image

Appearance Schemas Inventory-Revised (ASI-R) (Cash, 2003): The ASI-R was used to evaluate psychological investment in appearance. It assesses beliefs or assumptions about the importance, significance, and influence of appearance through 20 items divided into two factors: (1) Self-Evaluative Salience, which taps a dysfunctional type of investment and reflects the intensity to which beliefs about appearance influence the social and personal life; and (2) Motivational Salience, which reflects the intensity of concern about people’s appearance and how individuals adopt behaviors to control it. Participants were asked to respond each item based on the four weeks prior to the study. All items were rated on a 5-point scale (1 = strongly disagree and 5 = strongly agree) and subscale scores were obtained by calculating the means of the constituent items. The instrument demonstrated good internal consistency for men and women in the current sample (men α = .80—.85; women α = .85—.87).

Multidimensional Body-Self Relations Questionnaire—Appearance Scales (MBSRQ-AS) (Cash, 2000): The MBSRQ-AS includes 34 items grouped into 5 subscales, 2 of which were used in this study: Overweight Preoccupation (OWPREOC; 4 items), which assesses fat anxiety, weight vigilance, dieting, and eating restraint; and Appearance Evaluation (APPEVAL; 7 items), which measures feelings of physical attractiveness and satisfaction with one’s looks. Participants were asked to respond to each item based on the four weeks prior to the study. All items were rated on a 5-point scale (1 = definitely disagree and 5 = definitely agree), and subscales scores were determined by obtaining the average of the constituent items. The instrument demonstrated good internal consistency for men and women in the current sample (men α = .77—.83; women α = .73—.87).

2.2.3. Romantic relationship characteristics

Relationship Assessment Scale (RAS) (Hendrick, Dicke, & Hendrick, 1998): The RAS was used to assess overall relationship satisfaction. This is a single factor scale with 7 items rated on a 5-point scale (e.g. 1 = never and 5 = very often) and averaged to obtain an overall score. The reliability of the RAS in the current sample was .88 for men and .93 for women.

Triangular Love Scale (TLS) (Lemieux & Hale, 2000): The TLS includes 20 items divided into 3 subscales: Intimacy (refers to feelings of closeness and connectedness to one’s romantic partner), Commitment (indicates one’s willingness to remain with their partner, encompasses the decision to love and maintain a potential long-term relationship, and the likelihood of seeking other partners), and Passion (consists of items associated with attraction and sexual activity and focused on the infatuation and sexual excitement associated with one’s partner). All items were assessed using a 7-point scale (1 = strongly disagree and 7 = strongly agree) and subscales scores were calculated as the means of the constituent items. The instrument demonstrated good internal consistency for men and women in the current sample (men α = .72–.94; women α = .78–.96).

2.3. Procedures

The study was approved by the University Institutional Review Board and data were collected using a web-based survey provider, SurveyMonkey. Participants were randomly recruited from their member site called SurveyMonkey Contribute, and those who were eligible to complete the study were provided with a link to the online survey where they first read the informed consent, provided their consent, and then moved on to the questionnaires. Participants did not receive any direct compensation from the researchers, but SurveyMonkey made a $0.50 donation to the charity of their choice along with a chance to win $100. All analyses were conducted using SPSS 22.0 and the alpha value was set to .05. Data were screened for outliers and missing data was handled using listwise deletion. Unequal group sizes were accounted for in the analyses using regression formulations (Slinker & Glantz, 1988).

3. Results

The mean and standard deviation for all study variables are presented in Table 1. Pearson’s correlation analyses were conducted between age, BMI, and body image subscales, because they are often shown to be related (Fallon, Harris, & Johnson, 2014; Green & Pritchard, 2003; McCabe & Ricciardelli, 2004; Pingitore, Spring, & Garfieldt, 1997; Tiggemann & Lynch, 2001; Tiggemann & McCourt, 2013) (Table 2). All correlations among the body image subscales were significant for men and women. Additionally, for men and women, age was negatively correlated to self-evaluative investment and overweight preoccupation; while BMI was negatively correlated to motivational investment and appearance evaluation, and positively correlated to overweight preoccupation.

Table 1. Means and standard deviations of all study constructs investigated, by sex and relationship status (N = 928)

Table 2. Correlations among age, BMI, and body image subscales (N = 928)

Separate multiple linear regression analyses were conducted to test if romantic involvement (involved or not-involved) predict each body image component, beyond the variance explained by age and BMI (H1). Scores on body image subscales served as dependent variables (DVs) for the regression analyses. Each analysis included two control variables in Step 1: age and BMI. Relationship categories were dummy coded and entered in Step 2 of the regressions as independent variables (IVs); single participants served as the reference group. It is important to highlight that multiple regression is a statistical technique that allows the researcher to assess the relationship between one DV and several IVs. The term regression is used when the intention is to assess the best predictor of a DV but not however to determine causation (Tabachnick & Fidell, 2007).

As shown in Table 3, single men were less motivationally invested and more dissatisfied with their overall appearance than their non-cohabiters peers. Among women, single participants reported lower levels of self-evaluative investment than cohabiters and married women, were less motivationally invested than non-cohabiters and married participants, and were more dissatisfied with their overall appearance than their non-cohabiters peers. These results partially confirm Hypothesis 1.

Table 3. Multiple linear regression analyses with romantic relationship status predicting body image components, controlling for age, and BMI (N = 928)

Hypothesis 2 was tested by evaluating the partial correlations between the mean time uninvolved in a romantic relationship and each body image component, including age and BMI as control variables. The mean time not involved in a stable romantic relationship was 7.62 years (SD = 9.30) among men and 7.15 years (SD = 7.12) among women. For men, length of romantic non-involvement was significantly negatively correlated with self-evaluative investment (r = −0.18; p < .01), motivational investment (r = −0.27; p < .001), overweight concerns (r = −0.16; p < .05) and appearance evaluation (r = −0.16; p < .05). For women, length of romantic non-involvement was significantly negatively correlated with motivational investment (r = −0.22 p < .05) and overweight concerns (women: r = −0.26; p < .01). These results contradict Hypothesis 2 and suggest that the importance given to appearance, concerns about weight and overall body satisfaction decreased over time of non-attachment.

Separate multiple linear regression analyses were used to determine how relationship length and relationship functioning predicted each body image component, beyond the variance explained by participants’ age and BMI (H3). Scores on each body image subscale served as dependent variables. Again, each analysis included two control variables in Step 1—age and BMI. In Step 2, length of relationship and the four measures of relationship functioning were entered. Each of the significant correlates maintained sufficient tolerance (Variance Inflation Factor—VIF < 10 and tolerance > .10) to be nonredundant with the other correlates in the model (Montgomery, Peck, & Vining, 2012), thus, presented no problems with multicollinearity.

For romantically involved men and women, the associations between relationship characteristics and body image varied somewhat between the sexes. For men, longer relationships emerged as a significant predictor of body dissatisfaction; higher relationship satisfaction significantly predicted lower self-evaluative investment and overweight preoccupation; and higher levels of passion emerged as a predictor of weight concerns and body satisfaction (Table 4). Among women, relationship functioning emerged as a significant predictor of appearance evaluation only. Contrary to our expectations, greater body dissatisfaction was predicted by longer relationships, higher levels of commitment and lower levels of intimacy and passion (Table 4). Therefore, relationship functioning seems to influence men’s body image in a wider range of components compared with women.

Table 4. Multiple linear regression analyses with romantic functioning variables predicting body image components, while controlling for age and BMI (N = 928)

4. Discussion

We evaluated if the importance given to appearance (namely psychological investment in appearance), overweight concerns, and body dissatisfaction differed between men and women who were involved (or not) in a romantic relationship. Contradicting our supposition, self-evaluative investment was lower among single women compared to cohabiting and married participants. Self-evaluative investment essentially means “the extent to which individuals believe that their appearance is important to their sense of self-worth” (Cash et al., 2004, p. 312). It seems that, in our sample, appearance played a more central role in women’s lives when they were living with a romantic partner, refusing our assumption that romantic relationships might act as a barrier against dysfunctional psychological investment in appearance.

Additionally, results also demonstrated that single men were less motivationally invested than their non-cohabiters peers, and that single women reported lower motivational investment than non-cohabiters and married participants. Motivational investment reflects the extent to which individuals attend to their appearance and engage in appearance-management behaviors (e.g. spending time trying to be physically attractive) (Cash, 2003; Cash et al., 2004). If one is following a long-term mating strategy, retaining a mate is as important as attracting one, which might elucidate why non-cohabiting men and women reported the highest levels of motivational investment in appearance. Alternatively, it is known that married people in societies where divorce risks are high are more inclined to invest in their outer appearance (Lundborg et al., 2007). Thus, it is reasonable to consider that some married people—particularly those in lower quality relationships—may prepare for a potential divorce and future return to the marriage market by investing in their physical appearance. This might be especially true for middle-age people in the United States, where the divorce rates have doubled between 1990 and 2008 among persons over age 35 (Kennedy & Ruggles, 2014).

Single men and women were more dissatisfied with their overall appearance than their non-cohabiting peers. It is relevant to notice, however, that even though body dissatisfaction was higher among single participants, appearance was less important to them. In fact, it has been argued that dissatisfaction in a particular domain has an impact on one’s life to the extent that the domain is important in the person’s self-definition (Webster & Tiggemann, 2003). These results clearly demonstrate the necessity of evaluate body image as the multidimensional construct that it is.

Results also demonstrated that, although romantic relationships may enhance women’s body affirmation (Ambwani & Strauss, 2007), non-cohabitation was associated to higher motivational investment and lower body dissatisfaction for both men and women. These findings corroborate, in a certain way, the conclusions from Friedman and colleagues (1999) that simply being in a stable relationship does not protect individuals from experiencing body dissatisfaction. A potential explanation for our results relies on the dynamic of non-cohabitation among middle-aged people. At this age, a relationship without cohabitation could offer only the benefits of having a partner, buffering them against the daily problems faced by a coresidential relationship. In that way, non-cohabitation could provide more space and time to experience the support produced by a romantic relationship.

Contradicting our second hypothesis, investment in appearance (both self-evaluative and motivational), overweight concerns, and satisfaction with appearance were, for men, negatively correlated to the period of time non-involved in a romantic relationship. In addition, appearance-management behaviors and overweight preoccupation decreased over time of non-attachment for women. As far as we are aware, no study investigated the role of “singleness” on body image, but our results demonstrated that, as time passes by, single people may become less preoccupied with enhancing their attractiveness. One possible explanation for this finding is that in the absence of a partner for longer periods of time, people may shift their focus to other arenas of life, valuing more their friends, family, and work. On the other hand, it is possible that individuals at this age, especially women, are single by choice (e.g. Brown & Shinohara, 2013; Fileborn, Thorpe, Hawkes, Minichiello, & Pitts, 2015); thus, appearance may become of lesser concern if they see themselves as not fully participating in the “marriage market.”

It is known that high romantic relationship quality is associated with lower body dissatisfaction for men and women (Friedman et al., 1999; Goins et al., 2012; Juarez & Pritchard, 2012). In our study, several aspects of the relationship have shown to influence one’s body image. First, relationship length emerged as a significant predictor of higher body dissatisfaction in both sexes. This result was not found by past research (Goins et al., 2012; Markey & Markey, 2006) and contradict our hypothesis, but it is possible that, as their relationships progress, individuals gradually start to receive less positive feedback about their appearance from their partners, which could result in increased body dissatisfaction (Markey & Markey, 2006). Second, relationship satisfaction predicted lower self-evaluative investment and overweight preoccupation, but only for men. Because studies have shown that successful intimate relationships may provide women with a psychological buffer against societal pressures to attain a slim appearance (e.g. Boyes et al., 2007), we expected to find the same for women. Third, body satisfaction was predicted by intimacy in women, suggesting that feelings of closeness and connectedness increase positive aspects of body image. Fourth, commitment emerged as a predictor of body dissatisfaction in women. This result was unexpected. We hypothesized that individuals in a highly committed relationship would present lower body dissatisfaction because commitment can be seen as a form of acceptance. Lastly, passion predicted body satisfaction in both sexes. This result was anticipated because aspects related to attraction and sexual activity is an indicative of a person’s desirability, likely favoring one’s body image. Taken together, these findings suggest that some characteristics of romantic relationships are indeed tied to a more favorable body image, while others seem to be detrimental.

4.1. Limitations

Although this study expands on the existing literature in a number of ways, it also has important limitations. First, our sample was composed primarily of white, heterosexual, married, and overweight or obese individuals. Thus, precautions must be taken regarding the generalization of the results. Second, given that this was a cross-sectional study, causality and relationship direction cannot be ascertained. Finally, we did not investigate propensity to enter long-term relationships in individuals who were single, which could exacerbate appearance worries. Furthermore, it is important to highlight that body image is influenced by a number of variables not taken into account in the present study; therefore, intimate relationships might be though as part of the puzzle. Moreover, relationship status might interact with other variables such as thin-ideal internalization (Ramirez, Perez, & Taylor, 2012), self-objectification (Sanchez & Broccoli, 2008), or even self-esteem that may come as a result of both positive and negative aspects of relationships.

5. Conclusion

With research suggesting that negative body image is associated with poor psychosocial functioning (Cash et al., 2004), the investigation of factors that might influence appearance-related issues is essential for establishing and improving intervention strategies. The present study extended prior research by evaluating several components of body image, including more intimate relationship categories, and exploring measures of relationship quality that have not yet been investigated in the context of body image research. Our results demonstrated that intimate relationship is an important influence on one’s body image and, therefore, should be taken into account in the design and implementation of education and intervention efforts that address the development of a more positive body image and decreased weight concerns.

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Notes from Robert McKee’s “Story” 09: Genre and Expectations

The majority of this section defines genres and sub-genres of story. I’ll provide a summary of them at the end of the post. I think that we all as writers know what genre our works tend to lean toward, so I instead want to focus on what McKee has to say about what is expected of writers as dictated by genre and by the audience.

Mastery of Genre

As life-long consumers of media, we have ingrained expectations of a story once we hear the genre. A rom-com? Well then, we’re in for a light-hearted comedy with a happy ending for the love interests. High fantasy? There’s gonna be lore and magic and elves and dwarfs, and a massive conflict that will probably span multiple novels or films.

“The genre sophistication of filmgoers presents the writer with this critical challenge: He must not only fulfill audience anticipations, or risk their confusion and disappointment, but he must lead their expectations to fresh, unexpected moments, or risk boring them. This two-handed trick is impossible without a knowledge of genre that surpasses the audience’s.”

As writers, it is our job to identify our genre and research it thoroughly. In the previous section about setting, McKee explains how the setting of the story gives the writer both limitations and inspiration.

Genre is, in a certain way, the frame in which the setting and story sit. Depending on the genre, the frame can be pliable or it can be rather fixed. Here you need to study your own genre deeply to find out exactly how flexible it is. For example, the genre of “Comedy” is much more pliable than that of the “Crime” genre. There are sub-genres, of course. But under the vast umbrella of “Comedy” almost anything goes as long as we can get a laugh out of it. “Crime” on the other hand, generally involves a struggle between a criminal and a justice-seeker (with the justice-seeker most commonly being the protagonist) and culminates in one triumphing over the other.

How to Master Your Genre

“Never assume that because you’ve seen films in your genre you know it. This is like assuming you could compose a symphony because you have heard all nine of Beethoven’s.”

McKee states that genre study is best done in the following way:

List all the works that feel similar to yours, both successes and failures. Studying works that are similar to yours but were failures can lead to great insights.

Study each of these works from page to page, breaking each one down into elements of setting, role, event, and value.

Stack these analyses on top of each other and look down through them all and ask yourself, “What do the stories in my genre always do? What are its conventions of time, place, character, and action?

Until you find these answers, the audience will always be one step ahead of you.

Personally, that sounds like a lot of work lol. But doing case studies like he describes would certainly help me to better understand my genre. Idk when I’ll have time for it, but...well. I’ll work on it.

Creative Limitations

This section really echoes what McKee had to say about setting, in that both setting and genre create boundaries for you to work within, but having boundaries pushes you to be more creative.

Until now, I’ve always started writing a story on a whim, based on a single scene in my head that grows into some 300 page monstrosity. I resisted plotting and just wrote what I wanted to write that day. I enjoyed the freedom that came with having no specific plans and not thinking much about my genre.

However, McKee uses a brilliant example to illustrate the beneficial aspects of understanding and working within the bounds of your genre:

“Robert Frost said that writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down, for it’s the self-imposed, indeed artificial demands of poetic conventions that stir the imagination. Let’s say a poet arbitrarily imposes this limit: He decides to write in six-line stanzas, rhyming every other line. After rhyming the fourth line with the second line he reaches the end of a stanza. Backed into this corner, his struggle to rhyme the sixth line with the fourth and second may inspire him to imagine a word that has no relationship to his poem whatsoever--it just happens to rhyme--but this random word then springs loose a phrase that in turn brings an imagine to mind, an image that in turn resonates back through the first five lines, triggering a whole new sense of feeling, twisting and driving the poem to a richer meaning and emotion.

Thanks to the poet’s Creative Limitation of this rhyme scheme, the poem achieves an intensity it would have lacked had the poet allowed himself the freedom to choose any word he wished.

The principle of Creative Limitation calls for freedom within a circle of obstacles. Talent is like a muscle: without something to push against, it atrophies.”

So one of our first steps as writers is to identify our genre or combination of genres, and then learn the genre conventions.

Genre conventions are the expected aspects of a certain genre. In a “Boy Meets Girl” romance genre, an obvious convention is that a boy and a girl must meet. It isn’t a cliche--it’s a necessary part of the equation. These conventions force us to use our imagination to reinvent the paradigms our genres and audiences demand, and if we can do it right, we fulfill their expectations while giving them something they had never dreamed of before.

Mixing and Reinventing Genres

What better way to sum up this section than Run DMC’s “Walk This Way,” which was the first hip hop hybrid video every played in heavy rotation on MTV?

Generally, a work tends to be a mix of two or more genres. For example, there is a Love Story subplot in just about EVERYTHING nowadays, for better or for worse. By mixing genres we as writers have a chance to give the world something that has never been seen before.

Something that McKee stresses is that genres are not static. He says:

“Genres are simply windows on reality, various ways for the writer to look at life. When the reality outside the window undergoes change, the genres alter with it.”

Social attitudes change. This means that what may have been a compelling story 50 years ago may not be as compelling when looked at once again today. The example McKee uses is the 1950′s film FALLING IN LOVE, which was about a man and woman who fell in love with each other but were already married and in unhappy relationships. Nowadays, in mainstream America, divorce isn’t a big deal. If an audience in 2020 watched this film, they’d just say, “You’re married to people you hate--just get a divorce already!”

“The audience wants to know how it feels to be alive on the knife edge of the now. What does it mean to be a human being today?

Innovative writers are not only contemporary, they are visionary. They have their ear to the wall of history, and as things change, they can sense the way society is leaning toward the future. They then produce works that break convention and take the genres into the next generation.

The finest writers are not only visionary, they create classics.”

McKee’s List of Genres

McKee states that there are many different ways to break genres down, and his is neither the best nor the most complete. Also, keep in mind that this book is actually focused around storytelling through film, so the references he uses are not books, but films.

LOVE STORY. It’s sub-genre, Buddy Salvation, substitutes friendship for romantic love.

HORROR FILM. This genre devices into three sub-genres: the Uncanny, in which the source of horror is astounding but subject to “rational” explanation, such as beings from outer space, science-made monsters, or a maniac; the Supernatural, in which the source of horror is an “irrational” phenomenon from the spirit realm; and the Super-Uncanny, in which the audience is kept guessing between the other two possibilities.

MODERN EPIC (the individual versus the state).

WESTERN.

WAR GENRE. Although war is often the setting for another genre, such as the Love Story, the WAR GENRE is specifically about combat. Pro-war versus Antiwar are its primary sub-genres.

MATURATION PLOT or the coming of age story

REDEMPTION PLOT. Here the film arcs on a moral change within the protagonist from bad to good.

PUNITIVE PLOT. In these, the good guy turns bad and is punished.

TESTING PLOT. Stories of willpower versus temptation to surrender.

EDUCATION PLOT. This genre arcs on a deep change within the protagonist’s view of life, people, or self from the negative (naive, distrustful, fatalistic, self-hating) to the positive (wise, trusting, optimistic, self-possessed)

DISILLUSIONMENT PLOT. A deep change of worldview from the positive to the negative.

COMEDY. Subgenres range from Parody to Satire to Sitcom to Romantic to Screwball to Farce to Black Comedy, all differing by the focus of comic attack (bureaucratic folly, upper-class manners, teenage courtship. etc.) and the degree of ridicule (casual, caustic, lethal).

CRIME. Subgenres vary chiefly by the answer to this question: From whose point of view do we regard the crime? Murder Mystery (master detective’s POV); Caper (master criminal’s POV), Detective (cop’s POV), Gangster (crook’s POV), Thriller or Revenge Tale (victim’s POV); Courtroom (lawyer’s POV); Newspaper (reporter’s POV); Espionage (spy’s POV), Prison Drama (inmate’s POV); Film Noir (POV of a protagnoist who may be part criminal, part detective, part victime of a femme fatale).

SOCIAL DRAMA. This genre identifies problems in society--poverty, the education system, communicable diseases, the disadvantaged, antisocial rebellion, and the like--then constructs a story demonstrating a cure. It has a number of sharply focused sub-genres: Domestic Drama (problems within the family), the Women’s Film (dilemmas such as career versus family, lover versus children), Political Drama (corruption in politics), Eco-Drama (battles to save the environment), Medical Drama (struggles with physical illness), and Psycho-Drama (struggles with mental illness).

ACTION/ADVENTURE. This often borrows aspects from other genres such as War or Political Drama to use as motivation for explosive action and derring-do. If ACTION/ADVENTURE incorporates ideas such as destiny, hubris, or the spirtual, it becomes the sub-genre High Adventure. If Mother Nature is the source of the antagonism, it’s a Disaster/Survival work.

HISTORICAL DRAMA. The treasure chest of history is sealed with this warning: What is past must be present. He must find an audience today. Therefore, the best use of history, and the only legitimate excuse to set a film in the past and thereby add untold millions to a budget, is anachronism--to use the past as a clear glass through which you show us the present.

BIOGRAPHY. This cousin to Historical Drama focuses on a person rather than an era. BIOGRAPHY, however, must never become a simple chronicle. That someone lived, died, and did interesting things in between is of scholarly interest and no more. The biographer must interpret facts as if they were fiction, find the meaning of the subject’s life, and then cast him as the protagonist of his life’s genre. These caveats also apply to the sub-genre Autobiography.

DOCU-DRAMA. A second cousin to Historical Drama, DOCU-DRAMA centers on recent rather than past events.

MOCKUMENTARY. This genre pretends to be rooted in actuality or memory, behaves like documentary or autobiography, but is utter fiction. It subverts fact-based filmmaking to satirize hypocritical institutions.

MUSICAL. I would love to see a musical novel lol.

SCIENCE FICTION. In hypothetical futures that are typically technological dystopias of tyranny and chaos, the SCIENCE FICTION writer often marries the man-against-state Modern Epic with Action/Adventure. But, like history, the future is a setting in which any genre may play.

SPORTS GENRE. Sport is a crucible for character change. This genre is a natural home for the Maturation Plot, the Redemption Plot, the Education Plot, the Punitive Plot, the Testing Plot, the Disillusionment Plot, Buddy Salvation, and Social Drama.

FANTASY. Here the writer plays with time, space, and the physical, bending and mixing the laws of nature and the supernatural. The extra-realties of FANTASY attract the Action genres but also welcome others such as the Love Story, Political Drama/Allegory, Social Drama, and/or Maturation Plot.

ANIMATION. I guess you could equate this to graphic novels, comics, and manga.

Source: McKee, Robert. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting. York: Methuen, 1998. Print

#creative writing #writing inspiration #writeblr #creative writing methodology #creative writing theory #genre #story genre #writing resources #writing reference #robert mckee #writing novels #writing fiction #writing fantasy #writing prompts for friends notes on story #long post

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little-wintry · 5 years

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Another Tired Writer’s PSA(tm)

DONT! LET! OTHER! PEOPLE! TELL! YOU! WHAT! YOU! CAN! AND! CANNOT! WRITE!!!!!

i was asked for years if “everything needed to be lesbian”. i put lesbians everywhere in my writing, as main characters and side characters and a thousand places in between

why???

i was a new lesbian!!! i was so excited to finally figure out my sexuality and OH MY GOD I CAN PUT MY OWN DEMOGRAPHIC INTO WRITING HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING

it’s the same for any group of people that’s not straight and male and white. “does everything need to be women?” “do they all have to be gay?” “put some white people in your stories, it’s more realistic.”

granted, those are all fairly extreme and sexist/homophobic/racist examples, but many people have heard them in some form or another. the thing you have to remember the most is write for you. not for anyone else. not for your family, your best friend, nobody but you.

i put lesbians into every media i can shove them in because it’s a bit of wish fulfillment, truth be told. i’ve never been in a relationship myself and as someone who was pretty damn touchstarved for 12 years of my life a girlfriend would be great. and more importantly, how many young people could benefit from seeing themselves represented commonly in media? i could have been saved a good year and a half of arguing in my head about who i liked.

i thought about this rereading my series because the two main characters are both women and in a romantic subplot throughout books 1 and 2, and there’s two sets of side character lesbians. back then i was thinging “wow six lesbians that’s a lot” but now im thinking “who cares??? it’s my story back off i get to write the lesbians”

my writing god made fun a lot, not on purpose, but by backhanded things. people would poke fun at elements they didn’t think a lot of, but meant the world for me. and the biggest one? lesbians. and furries but we don’t talk about that because people are dicks and thought i was furry back then

i made my two main characters lesbians because it was enjoyable for me. i got to write a healthy relationship i wanted and could see myself in, in a perfect world. and i wrote them thinking “wow if young teenagers like myself read this they might figure themselves out i could help people”

so don’t judge a person if they seem to have a lot of one group in their stories, especially if they belong to that group. they just want to see themselves in media :)

#i keep thinking of that zelda meme #it's MY story and I get to write the gays #anyway i digress #im tired man fuck #though my tired brain is woke #also tumblr please dont murder me :)#writing #not destiny

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rukangle · 5 years

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Shipping Saturday: RWBY - Blake and Ruby

https://insufferablefirecrackersinsufferablesworld.wordpress.com/

FEATURED ~ INSUFFERABLE FIRECRACKER

Welcome to the first of my Shipping Saturday blogs. Here’s how these are going to work. First, I’ll talk about all the reasons why you should “ship” these characters for a romantic pairing. Then, I’ll talk about reasons why other pairings might fit better. If you have different options than mine, that’s okay. Everyone is allowed to like different character pairings.

When I talk about “cannon”, that means there is firm implication or proof in the series that something actually happens.

When I talk about “fannon”, I am speaking about things that the greater fan-base has concluded based on subtext, or clues in the series. Fannon is a very loose term, because it can almost mean anything depending on who you talk to.

Examples: Saying that Blake is a Faunus is cannon. Saying that Blake and Ruby curl up and read together is fannon.

That said, the Blake/Ruby pairing, also known by fans as “ladybug”, is not a cannon pairing in the series. It is strictly a “fannon” or commonly called “fan fiction fodder”. The pairing is made up by the fan-base. It has very little cannon ground to stand on. It will remain that way until the RWBY series proves otherwise.

Frankly, I doubt the animated series will go in that direction. It seems as though the creators of RWBY are headed towards the implied cannon pairing of Yang/Blake, also known as “bumblebee”.

I’ll cover “bumblebee” as a pairing at a later date.

I tend to sail many ships, and Blake/Ruby are one of them. I have written fan fiction regarding this pairing, and I will continue to do so. That said, let’s get into the reasons why you should ship them.

Reasons to “Ship” Blake and Ruby (Ladybug)

As huntresses-in-training Blake and Ruby are versatile and tactical fighters in the series. Neither of their partners share that trait. Weiss is more defensive in combat, often acting as a support fighter. Yang is more aggressive because her semblance requires her to be.

Secondly, they’re both outliers in their team. Ruby is the youngest and she is a prodigy. Blake is the only Faunus on the team. Arguably, she has the most life experience outside of the kingdom’s walls. Weiss can be narrow-minded and Yang seems to fit in with everyone.

Thirdly, they both know exactly what they want out of being a huntress. The only question in their minds is how to attain it. They both want to be huntresses for the greater good of society. Ruby wants to be a huntress to help people. Blake wants to be a huntress to aid in the Faunus plight. This directly juxtaposes their other teammates. Weiss wants to be a huntress to redeem her family’s name. Yang wants to be huntress for the adventure and excitement of it all.

Fourthly, they have weaponry that is complex and dangerous to use. Crescent Rose and Gambol Shroud both have the ability to transform into scythes. Blake’s weapon is classified as a “Variant Ballistic Chain Scythe”. It’s important to note that Ruby is a weapon fanatic with a love of scythes that as she says “is also a gun”.

Fifthly, they both stand up firmly for what they believe, sometimes to their own detriment. Both of them prove to be strong leaders in their own way. Ruby is the leader of her teammates. Blake showcases her skill in the Menagerie arc, learning to unite fellow Faunus together. Yang and Weiss just aren’t the same. Yang shows no interest in leadership at all. For Weiss the desire to lead a team is short-lived. She learns to be happy falling in line behind Ruby as the “best partner” that Ruby will ever have.

All-in-all as future huntresses, Blake and Ruby are very compatible. They have aligned skills and noble ambitions. They have a true desire to triumph over adversity. They would likely be happy traveling together helping others after graduation. This is the strongest argument to make in favor of the “ladybug” pairing. Being a huntress isn’t just a job, it’s a lifestyle. Blake and Ruby wish to live as huntresses in similar ways. This could pave the way for a long term relationship.

There is an argument to be made about Ruby and Blake sharing a few interests and traits. In my personal opinion there isn’t much in this category, but I’ll go over some of them anyway.

Both of them have a fondness for reading. Ruby has her love of fairy tales. Blake has an appreciation for trashy romance novels. In the series, Ruby attempts to befriend Blake when she sees the Faunus reading in the corner.

On top of that, they’re both introverts at the beginning of the series. Blake is reclusive by nature. Ruby tends to be awkward and slightly timid. Both of these characters share a deep empathy towards others, although Blake chooses not to make that obvious.

Lastly, Ruby comments about Blake’s “cute kitty” ears, showing at least a little interest in Blake.

As you can see, this is the weaker argument to make in favor of the pairing. Sadly, Ruby and Blake don’t get much screen time alone together. They don’t have time to bond. The few scenes they do share are mainly in the early volumes of the series.

Sadly, most of those scenes aren’t even positive dialogue exchanges. The subtext is that Blake and Ruby interact by default as team members. We don’t actually see a deep bond form between them. Fans have often criticized the show for a lack of content regarding Blake and Ruby as friends.

Reasons to Sail a Different Ship

In all honesty, I will sail the “ladybug” ship until it sinks. That said, it has a lot of downsides. Writing fan fiction for “ladybug” can be very difficult. It’s not that the pairing is impossible. Rather, it’s that you have to go looking for commonalities in somewhat strange places.

Blake is obviously more mature than Ruby when it comes to relationships. At the start of the series Blake is reading adult media. The implication is that she’s engaged in at least some of those acts before entering Beacon. This can be a major issue for fan fiction that takes place during the Beacon/Vale arc of the RWBY series. The two year age difference between these girls might as well be night and day.

On her team, Blake has more chemistry with Yang and Weiss. You could even make an argument that she has a stronger chemistry with Sun and Ilia than she could ever hope to have with Ruby.

To contrast that, Ruby has her own strong chemistry line-up. Weiss and Jaune stick out fairly well as strong contenders, but even Penny, Pyrrha, and Oscar make the fan fiction rounds a fair bit. If you want to get really weird and do the sibling romance thing, Yang’s a strong contender too.

Frankly, because there’s hardly any cannon material other pairings just make more sense. Blake gets more valuable screen time with Sun, Weiss, Ilia, and Yang than she does with Ruby. Those scenes are central plot elements for Blake and they can’t be easily ignored.

Now we come to the final nail in the “ladybug” coffin. For all of the arguments made above, most people can make a very valid counter rebuttal. I’m about to do that here.

Firstly, Blake is practically a ninja and she benefits more from fighting alongside Yang or Weiss. Both of them have semblances that compliment Blake’s fighting style in a way that Ruby’s just can’t. The same can be said for Ruby. Her semblance is speed, and she benefits more from fighting alongside supporting fighters like Weiss. As it is, both women are better off sticking with their cannon combat partners after graduation.

Secondly, Ruby is the youngest and that is a huge problem. She might be a prodigy, but she’s incredibly naive in all of the ways that Blake isn’t. Also, because Blake’s a Faunus she has the potential to have other interesting character pairings. Weiss can be narrow-minded because of her family and her upbringing. That’s a driving force in most Weiss/Blake fan shipping, also known as “monochrome”.

Thirdly, they both know exactly what they want out of being a huntress, and that’s a problem. Given Blake’s character and her motivations, it’s possible that one day she would cease to be a huntress. Chances are good that Blake will end up leading a re-established group like the White Fang. This would turn into a conflict of interest. All that Ruby ever wants to be is a huntress, that is her entire ambition. It’s arguable that both women would be better served by finding other relationships.

Fourthly, they have weaponry that is complex and dangerous to use. This is all the more reason not to be fighting side by side. Neither of their weapons are entirely predictable. Ruby’s odd fascination with weaponry doesn’t end with scythes, and wouldn’t end with Gambol Shroud anyway. She would be just as enamored with any weapon type that she hasn’t seen before.

Fifthly, Weiss has already made the promise to be the best partner that Ruby will ever have. She fully acknowledges and accepts Ruby as a leader. Weiss is a pragmatist at heart. She sees the value in following Ruby’s orders. Yang shows no interest in leadership at all, and she willingly follows Blake’s lead at the drop of a hat. Yang has always been as supportive of Blake as possible. To be honest, cannon just slaughters the argument in favor of the “ladybug” pairing when it comes to this point.

Looking at everything from this angle, we can come up with a few different conclusions.

While its true that Blake and Ruby are very compatible as huntresses, they require other teammates to be truly remarkable in combat. They have aligned skills and noble ambitions, but that will lead them in vastly different directions in life. Chances are good they’d be even happier with their other teammates after graduation. Being a huntress isn’t just a job, it’s a lifestyle. There’s a good chance that Blake will move on, and if Ruby wishes to live as a huntress she may end up alone.

As I said before, there is a very weak argument to be made about Ruby and Blake sharing a few interests and traits. This is a very pairing specific issue. The rebuttals I would make depend entirely on what “ship” I would be trying to sail instead. Listing everything would be impossible, I’ll just say that the rebuttals here are endless, because they are.

Final Thoughts

You’ve probably noticed by now, that all three of the images I chose here are from the same volume. That’s because Ruby and Blake don’t have the same sort of natural progression that other characters do. Most of their most important scenes together are in Volume 1.

The “ladybug” pairing is unique. Unlike the other shipping combinations of team RWBY, there isn’t a lot to work with. In fact, “ladybug” shippers probably have the hardest time making a relationship between Ruby and Blake seem believable. A good deal of Ruby’s friendship with Blake remains implied. It’s never shown in detail. They don’t have any interactions that turn into long-running core plot points. All of the other teammates do, but Ruby and Blake don’t.

Trying to romanticize what little we do see requires creativity. You can’t sail this ship well if you’re following strictly cannon principles. You need to step out of the box and be willing to suspend some of your disbelief to enjoy it.

That being said, “ladybug” is one of my top ten pairings in RWBY. No matter what your view is, I will avidly sail this ship until it sinks.

What are your thoughts on Blake/Ruby as a ship? Love it? Hate it? Tell me why down in the comments below.

Insufferably yours, The Insufferable Firecracker.

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justfinishedreading · 5 years

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Last month I watched the film A United Kingdom (2016) and realized how little I knew about the history of Botswana. In fact, I realized how little I knew about the history of almost all countries. We’re always so immersed in our own culture that we’re oblivious to the intricate and epic history of others. After the film I thought about a book from my adolescence, a bestseller at the time but one which I’d never got around to reading: The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. I ordered a copy that night.

Now Alexander McCall Smith is a white dude, so I’m already failing my newly created goal of trying to read more fiction by authors of colour, however on the plus he does have experience and knowledge of a part of Africa: he was born in Zimbabwe, raised there until the age of 17, and co-founded and taught at the University of Botswana. It is very clear when reading The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency that McCall Smith has a love for Botswana, for its people, their mindset and way of living.

The other reason why I wanted to read this book was because I’m a fan of the detective mystery genre, I will forever love Agatha Christie and I’ve recently discovered the solid brilliance of P.D. James, and the cool cleverness of Scandinavian writers. But Africa isn’t very commonly associated with detective fiction which made The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency all the more intriguing when it was first published. It isn’t an Agatha Christie novel; there isn’t a big mystery that is solved at the end of the book, instead it follows maybe a dozen small cases, each usually resolved within a few chapters. But like Miss Marple, Philip Marlowe, Inspector Adam Dalgliesh, there is a strong yet vulnerable detective: Mma Ramotswe.

Mma Ramotswe is a black Botswanan woman in her early 30s, she is intelligent and capable. When her father dies and leaves her an inheritance she decides to invest in setting up her own detective agency, with her as its only detective. She is physically described as a large woman; her weight is commented on occasionally throughout the book but always in a positive light. This comes partly from the fact that many African countries are more socially/culturally accepting of the larger female figure. Historically in our own western world there was a time when society viewed thinness in a negative light, that’s not to say they were pro-obesity but a skinny woman was viewed as someone who lived in poverty and starvation, a woman with a fuller figure was seen as someone of wealth and leisure. Certainly, that is not the case now, but it’s interesting to see how society’s concept of beauty changes with the passing of time, and we as individuals should try to reject the idea of one universal standard of beauty, be it thin, fat or the many, many forms inbetween.

Speaking as a larger woman myself, it is such a relief to read a book in which the protagonist is large, clever and proactive, her weight is not something to be used against her. In the western world obesity is the latest “bad habit” to crusade against, once we covered smoking, (and heaven-forbid we tackle alcoholism!) we moved onto obesity. Health problems related to obesity are a real issue and there should be support and ways of prevention set up for those who want it. However there is a culture of body shaming which is not helpful or effective in a positive way. Body shaming only does two things: it makes the shamed feel more unhappy and it’s likely to worsen the problem, and it allows the shamer to feel confident and smug.

There’s controversy over whether plus-size models should be featured in magazines and shown as role models. One side believes this is promoting obesity, it is sending out the message to children, teenagers and adults that it’s okay to be fat, specifically unhealthily fat. That is a dangerous message. I understand what these people are trying to say, but in response I’d say that people who are obese, and others who are fat, and others who are just a little overweight, EXIST in the world, and therefore have a right to be represented in culture and media. The same goes for people with disabilities, and shockingly we’re still not including enough people of colour as well.

Time has already shown that a culture that only represents one idea of the “perfect” body type does NOT help the mental or physical health of that society as a whole. For decades the images of beautiful white woman have bombarded our world and instead of obesity going down, it has gone up. Now there’s various reasons for the rise of obesity; lifestyle, change in leisure activities, work, transport, food etc so I’m not suggesting it’s all down to the “evil” media, but my point is that hiding overweight women from us hasn’t helped prevent obesity and therefore there is no reason to exclude those body types -or any body types- from public view.

Which leads me to my final point on the subject: one way of thinking is that if there’s something about yourself you hate, then you should change it. I think that loving yourself is much more important, and beneficial, in the long run, than focusing on hatred and change. That seems like a very general statement but what it comes down to is that we take care and look after that which we love. If society wants to promote health then we have to promote self-love first. Nobody has ever willingly invested time and effort in looking after something they hate.

But back to The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency. Regarding the mysteries Mma Ramotswe has to investigate they aren’t murder mysteries, they are the mysteries of everyday life, e.g. a woman thinks her husband is cheating on her, a father thinks his daughter is dating a boy without his consent, a head doctor at a hospital believes one of his doctors may be a drug addict, another woman thinks her husband has stolen a car. What struck me the most about The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency wasn’t the things that Mma Ramotswe had to investigate but the way she investigated them, she’s resourceful and bold, she takes matters into her own hands. It shocked me how little involvement the police had, in a few occasions I thought this would be the time to contact the police! And then I realized how we in the western world are so dependent on our police force for everything, while in some countries like Botswana people might be more inclined to take care of things themselves.

This independence is one of Mma Ramotswe’s most inspiring features, she’s in her 30s but has no intention of marrying (WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD), she married early on and that ended very badly. Part of me wishes she didn’t have to have such a sad backstory; we don’t need to give a character a tragic past in order to be emotionally invest in them. But now I realise that it’s important to show how people overcome past hardships and live past that. Similarly, I disliked how a new potential love-interest was introduced, why can’t Mma Ramotswe stay single? Why MUST she marry? Society is so obsessed with romantic relationships. But then it hit me; that instead of having a strong, clever, independent woman stay single – she is so head-strong of course she will remain unmarried! Thinks the public - it is much more important to see that it’s possible for a man to stand by her side and accept her strength, intelligence and independence, to see him not feel emasculated by it.

(Side note: Unfortunately Homosexuality is still illegal in Botswana so this novel focuses very much on heterosexual relationships). TEXT CORRECTION - I’m happy to amend this, on 11th June 2019 same-sex sexual acts were finally decriminalized in Botswana!

Overall this novel is very good from a feminist point of view, my only criticism, and this may come as a surprise, is that it is very consistently hard on men. It felt like the number of dislikeable men greatly outnumbered those that were respectable. Feminism isn’t about man-hating, it’s about equality, so if I were to read more books from this series I’d like a touch less man-hating and a sprinkle more of women-causing-trouble.

Review by Book Hamster

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myfandomrambles · 6 years

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Unhealthy Relationships and the Media:

Examples of unhealthy relationship dynamics in (still is or was) popular media. These fall into unhealthy but not inherently abusive actions, while some are always abusive.

Common Unhealthy Behaviours:

Cheating: The act itself is always seen as wrong but it becomes a forgivable act if the offending party is sorry enough, and they are meant to be.

Controlling and Possessive behaviour: Guys, and sometimes girls are presented as wanting to be in every aspect of the other person's lives. This leaves no room for them to do their own things. They stand in the way of any relationships with possible sexual rivals even their partner in no way is cheating.

Dangerous Relationships:

When one of the partners is physically dangerous to the other. In Fantasy/Scifi one may be a vampire, werewolf, mutant etc. where the relationship is dangerous because of the physicality of one of the characters, now, of course, you can make a non-human/human romance where it is safe because neither of them is inherently dangerous.

The other version is a human who is violent or involved in a dangerous organization like the mob. Again someone changing from this life to a healthy can work, but the person must not be violent towards their partner.

Emotional Manipulation:

Duty and Loyalty: The emotions are constantly triggered to force a person to do things against their moral code, or force them to stay when it's not good for them. this is extra effective if a wider family is involved or some great plan.

Non-Commitment: to the relationship is another one, they state they love the other person but won’t choose to stay usually because they either are damaged or have some greater job the must complete. This isn’t inherently unhealthy if they just tell someone no, it becomes a problem when you come in and out of the relationship and neither person really moves on.

Guilt: This is an easy one, we’ve all been guilt tripped.

Never accepting responsibility: If this is a one-sided problem it usually comes from a character who perpetrate many of the other actions and other terrible things and they won’t accept it.

Aggression/violence: This is a part of dangerous but still worth pointing out. Romanticizing male violence is the most common version, a man's violent tendencies are treated as hot when this can become a red flag if they use the violence on the love interest or against innocent characters.

Over-reliance on the relationship: This is a trope where the character is defined by their relationship. Their life just isn’t worth living without the other person. Death of the loved one is different, grief acts in odd ways, it is a problem if it is after a breakup. Crying into ben and jerry's is normal. However Presenting healthy versions of moving on is better, people should be presented as more than their romantic partner.

Feeling Owed A Relationship: Often a combination of other tropes. This also often ties in with our social ideas of fate, soulmates, and true love. The person feeling owed believes that because their good people, they're like this person for so long, dudes have to have sex ect. the person they like must give into them and date/have sex with them.

Friend Zone: A commonly mocked term but still used tope. A male who has an unrequited love for a friend, we are supposed to feel bad for this character. Unrequited love can be tragic, but when painted as it being a fault with the person not being in love is not the same. It also framed by how the person who is in love acts.

Gaslighting: An abuse technique where people are made to feel their perceptions and thoughts are false and hysterical.

Giant Age gaps: This isn’t by definition unhealthy as it has a lot to do with maturity gaps more. A man who is 50 is not in the same place as someone in their 20s calling this relationship into question. And an adult with a teen or child is always unhealthy and abusive. This is often personified in sci-fi and fantasy, An immortal or long living character falls in love with a mortal. This can get confusing if the immortal character acts as the age their actors are/the age he became immortal. However, it can cause power imbalances especially if the younger person is a teenager. An extremely creepy version of this is that is often excused when a character who knew another as a young child now sees them as romantically and sexually desirable.

Kidnapping for love: A kidnapping framed as romance or a kidnap victim falling in love with their captor.

Lack of Communication: A pretty basic kind of break down in relationships we all have experienced.

Misogyny: Misogyny breaks down relationships and is used as a form of social control. And misogynistically written women makes it so the woman is a less developed character making bad behaviour towards them seen as less bad.

Nice Guy: Characters are pointed out as good and nice therefore any creepy behaviours they have should be ignored. They are also usually opposed to another man in the situation with a girl. We have to dislike the other guy because our Nice Guy should be in front.

Stalking for Love: When a character follows their love interest and doesn’t take no for an answer. “Pop Culture Detective” on YouTube has a great video on this.

Sexual Control / Sexual violence:

Sex can be used as control making partners stay. Boundaries are pushed and this is seen as good, instead of respecting them

Then there is typical sexual violence, assault, rape and abuse.

Social isolation/breaking bonds: Isolation allows more control over a person is done physically. Breaking bonds emotionally isolate making the partner the only support the other person has.

Unequal Power Dynamics: One Character has a position of power over the other. Examples are being the boss or leader of a situation. A position where it is hard for one character to say no for fear of retribution or the social, psychological condition warps the way the characters interact.

( Posts With Example Cases: 1, 2)

#fandom:#multi #topic:#unhealthy relationships #media criticism #abuse and media #misogyny #type:#txt #my post #unhealthy relationships series

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holdenslym865-blog · 4 years

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The cbd öl Awards: The Best, Worst, and Weirdest Things We've Seen

Why Marijuana Fans Should Not See Approval For Epilepsy Medication As A Win For Weed

Many people in the usa suffer from chronic pain. The Medication Enforcement Administration (DEA) classifies marijuana or cannabis as a Schedule 1 product - this means there is certainly "no presently accepted medical use and a high prospect of abuse." Appropriately, before Epidiolex is ready for use among patients, it needs to be appropriately reclassified - something GW Pharmaceuticals expects to see happen next three months. Cannabis is a flowering seed that contain three distinct variations, i.e.: Cannabis Ruderalis, Cannabis Indica, and Cannabis Savita. Rigorous rules around Cannabis cultivation can be found because of this of it having been used as a recreational drug for the high THC level using types. However, Cannabis can be employed for its durable fibrous consistency, its richness in nutrients and its own medical properties.

CBD is commonly used to address anxiety, and for patients who suffer through the misery of insomnia, studies suggest that CBD can help with both falling asleep and staying asleep. CBD may offer an option for treating different types of chronic pain. A report from the European Journal of Pain demonstrated, using an animal model, CBD applied on the skin could help lower pain and irritation credited to arthritis. Another study demonstrated the mechanism by which CBD inhibits inflammatory and neuropathic pain, two of the most difficult types of chronic pain to take care of. More research in humans is needed in this area to substantiate the statements of CBD proponents about pain control. As with other health and fitness products, there is no one-size-fits-all offering amount for CBD. The FDA hasn't established formal nutritional recommendations for CBD intake, so it is up to CBD consumers to decide on the optimal amounts. When consuming a CBD product, start by sticking to the recommended portion sizes found on lower-concentration products, then increase as needed.

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Many people have lost their lives to smoking marijuana. One of the main side effects of it is that it cause a unexpected increase in heartrate if you are not careful which can result in a fatal coronary attack. If you reside in a state where marijuana is legal for both medicinal and recreational use, you should have access to CBD oil, too. No studies have yet founded omega-3 fatty acids as a factor or putative treatment for IBS. However, it is known that omega-3 deficiency can have significant results on the anxious and immune system systems thought to be involved in leading to IBS. A 2009 research by Clarke, et al., found an increase in pro-inflammatory products of polyunsaturated fatty acids in females with severe IBS, suggesting that omega-3 supplementation can help.

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Why Marijuana Supporters SHOULDN'T See Authorization For Epilepsy Medication As A Win For Weed

Many people in America suffer from chronic pain. The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) classifies marijuana or cannabis as a Plan 1 compound - this means there is certainly "no presently accepted medical use and a high prospect of abuse." Accordingly, before Epidiolex is ready for use among patients, it needs to be appropriately reclassified - something GW Pharmaceuticals expects to see happen within the next three months. Cannabis is a flowering flower that consist of three distinct variants, i.e.: Cannabis Ruderalis, Cannabis Indica, and Cannabis Savita. Stringent regulations around Cannabis cultivation exist because of this of it having been used as a recreational drug for the high THC level in certain types. However, Cannabis can be utilized for its durable fibrous consistency, its richness in nutrition and its own medical properties.

CBD is commonly used to handle anxiety, as well as for patients who endure the misery of insomnia, studies suggest that CBD can help with both falling asleep and staying asleep. CBD may offer an option for treating different kinds of chronic pain. A study from the Western european Journal of Pain demonstrated, using an pet model, CBD applied on the skin could help lower pain and inflammation credited to arthritis. Another research demonstrated the mechanism by which CBD inhibits inflammatory and neuropathic pain, two of the very most difficult types of chronic pain to take care of. More research in humans is necessary in this area to substantiate the promises of CBD proponents about pain control. As with other wellbeing products, there is no one-size-fits-all offering amount for CBD. The FDA has not established formal dietary recommendations for CBD consumption, so it is up to CBD consumers to decide on the optimal quantities. When eating a CBD product, begin by sticking with the recommended serving sizes entirely on lower-concentration products, then increase as needed.

The struggle in South Africa continues and this Hub will keep on addressing how to handle the resistance the low intensity warfare that is presently being waged against africans from all fronts, and try to offer some answers to tough issues that arise from being oppressed, poor, ignorant, and the whole bit. In fighting this neo-post-Apartheid colossal by means of the ANC, people need to focus on the fact that there needs to be a great deal of preparation, self-discipline and hard work among and with the suffering and ignored, debased and oppressed armies of the poor African public. Research shows that pet protein is easily digestible than place proteins. However, 91-98% of the hemp powder proteins are digestible. The easily digestible proteins in hemp are edestin and albumin. Heat processing reduces the break down of proteins. Therefore, if you are interested in high-quality hemp powder; go for the one made from chilly prepared hemp seeds. Vegans can infuse the powder in their diet for important functions such as repair of body cells after exercise.

A special forces friend I'm helping, because I can't call them clients. Got him from stage 4 to free of cancer with an intica stress, on a vaporizer. It helped alot along with his extreme PSTD. Yet lost him in the long run, as he went back on alcoholic beverages, he was learning to be a personal problems for me personally. Saved four other folks though. I think chemotherapy causing new malignancy and their part results is worse than the original cancer. Resistant is cancer has increased 4 to 5 times in the last 50 years. Standard drugs can help reduce tightness and pain, but many people see CBD as a far more natural alternative. Many of the people consider marijuana as a herb which may be used for recreational purposes only. However, this is actually the dark part of marijuana as this supplement is no less than a benefit for mankind. Controversial yet beneficial, marijuana can't be overlooked at any cost as it can be used for medical purposes as well. If used properly, marijuana not only treats various kinds of ailments and diseases, but also offers a safer environment to the consumers.

Hemp Essential oil has many nutritional benefits for Vegetarians that typically do not eat food which has Omega-3, and Omega-6 fatty acids. Fatty acids are crucial for a healthy body. Since Hemp Oil is packed with them, it is the perfect product for people that do not eat meat or fish. Once you've usage of a marijuana distributor, you should have the option between

#cbd öl kaufen

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babyconnectingworld · 4 years

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Postpartum sex: Why you don’t want it—and why that’s OK

Of all the alarming and deeply inexplicable aspects of becoming a new mother, the one I found most unnerving was the way strangers began suddenly asking about my sex life. For 35 blissful years, no one but me (and, to varying degrees, my partners) seemed remotely interested in the state of my libido. And then suddenly, only a few months after I’d gained a third of my body weight and experienced the joy of a small human driving a Mack truck through my pelvic floor, everyone was suddenly going on about it—doctors, midwives, friends, family members and the media (news outlets in general, but women’s magazines and mom bloggers in particular). Looking back, the questions started in late pregnancy: Did I want it more? Did I want it less? Was I dreaming about it? Was my vulva swollen like a grapefruit? Had I watched the YouTube video of that woman having an orgasm water birth? I assumed everyone would lose interest after the aforementioned incident with the Mack truck, but if anything, people brought it up more, not less. Almost four years after giving birth (for what I am delighted to say is most definitely the last time ever), I’m finally beginning to understand why people are so interested in whether or not new moms are getting laid. It’s because—hold the front page—having a baby often massively and irrevocably messes with a woman’s sex drive. Not just our sexual appetite, but also our bodies and every aspect of the way we think of sex. This should be obvious. Having a baby changes a woman’s relationship to almost everything. My own experience of matrescence (the identity shift into motherhood) was as powerfully disorienting as Kafka’s Metamorphosis. And yet, it’s often not spoken of as a transformation so much as a yoke to be cast off. Most of us still talk about “getting our bodies back” or “restoring” our sex lives, as though what’s required to have great sex post-kids is a time machine.

A whole new normal

“There is no going back—not after kids,” says Kelly Swartz, a Toronto-based erotic expert, sex coach and mother of three who offers counselling and workshops for women struggling with sexuality and libido loss in the wake of motherhood. The first thing she does with clients is explode the myth that they need to revert to an idealized, carefree, pre-kids sexual self. That’s impossible, because so much will have changed. “After having a baby, it’s just a different kind of sex and connection,” she says. Many clients come to her looking to re-establish their sex lives, but what they actually need is “a complete reacquaintance” with their body and themselves. It’s all intertwined. Swartz’s words rang true for me. After I had kids, every major relationship in my life (professional, social, romantic, familial) had to be renegotiated, boundaries redrawn. It was such a disorienting time that the question of sex began to seem almost beside the point. If I ever thought of it, which I did more and more rarely, it seemed a trivial pleasure from a previous life stage—something I might do if I had the time and strong inclination, like getting a massage. But it’s not irrelevant. Why? Because for women, the subjects of sex and sexual desire are often much more complicated and potentially transformative than we believe at first. Having a baby makes it possible to ignore this for a while until, quite suddenly, it isn’t. Before I continue, a disclaimer: It’s not entirely fair to generalize about any experience as wildly diverse as birth, sex and motherhood. Not all new parents are hetero-normative, cis-gendered couples in which the mother experiences a dulled libido after birth and the father is present, accounted for and generally well up for it. And yet for the purposes of this article, I’m going to generalize as if this were true, because the experts I spoke to say it’s a common situation. If you are, in fact, a new mom experiencing the thrill of polyamorous anal sex six times a day, I apologize. Enjoy! As for the rest of us, the sex thing after kids is complicated because, as Swartz explains, “for many women, sex drive doesn’t just magically re-establish itself after birth. It often requires care and attention.” This in itself is a key to understanding that something much deeper is going on than a temporary loss of mojo. But what exactly? In her critically acclaimed 2018 memoir And Now We Have Everything, author Meaghan O’Connell writes with bracing candour about the experience of accidentally becoming pregnant in her late 20s and, with the support of her long-term boyfriend, deciding to take the plunge. The chapter on sex blew me away. O’Connell writes movingly about how she lost all interest in it for the first year or so after she had her baby. “I not only didn’t want to have sex,” she writes, “I would have preferred it did not exist.” To me, this summed up the cruel irony of postpartum libido loss. At first you don’t notice it’s happening because your focus is so squarely on your baby. But before you know it, having not much sex has become the new normal. When my kids were small, I remember having lunch with a wise older woman who, when I made a wisecrack about my low post-baby libido, cautioned me to “be careful about that.” I struggled to contain my indignance. Was this woman actually suggesting I needed to “put out” whether I wanted to or not in order to keep my marriage intact? What a pathetic, retrograde assumption. I was livid. It was only much later I realized this woman may have been trying to convey something far more nuanced: Intimacy and sexual desire are necessarily altered by the experience of motherhood and, while that’s entirely expected, it’s also important not to wall off that part of yourself completely. The fact is, desire and intimacy, once lost, can be difficult to re-establish, says Arantxa De Dios, a UK-based counsellor and hypnotherapist who works with new moms. Being aware of negative thought patterns about sex, says De Dios, is key to changing them before they become habit.

Photo: Stocksy United

Wanting to want it

Is there anything more depressing to contemplate than wanting to want to have sex? And yet this is precisely how so many new mothers feel. It’s not so much that they miss sex but they miss missing it. And yet, in the fraught, exhausting “fourth trimester,” the idea of not needing something, anything, is somewhat of a relief. In the postpartum months, libido loss is a physiological reality. After birth, new mothers experience a sharp drop in estrogen, the hormone that makes us feel sexually inclined and helps to lube up our nether regions when we do. Women who breastfeed also experience a sharp rise in a hormone called prolactin, which stimulates milk production and further drives down estrogen. Add to this the fact that the brains of many new moms are flooded with oxytocin, the so-called “cuddle hormone,” which promotes infant bonding in a way that makes us more interested in snuggling our newborn than getting down and dirty with our partners. Basically, evolution doesn’t want us to have sex when we have a newborn to care for, so it created a hormonal antidote to horniness. The tricky part comes when those hormones subside and a mom still doesn’t want it, or at least wants to want it but doesn’t.

Beyond hormones

Your sex drive can stay depressed post-baby for all sorts of reasons, most of which are situational rather than hormonal. New moms report feeling “touched out” at the end of a day with their baby, not to mention feeling flat-out exhausted. Add to this the lingering effects of pregnancy and birth-related body changes, plus the attendant body-image issues experienced by many women, as well as stress and anxiety, and it’s no wonder sex becomes an afterthought. More rare, though not uncommon, are post-birth medical issues. I had surgery for prolapse of the bladder after the traumatic birth of my second son. At the time, my gynaecological surgeon told me that many moms are so ashamed they simply live with the condition for life. A girlfriend of mine experienced excruciating and persistent pain during sex after her first birth and eventually underwent a surgical repair of her original episiotomy to fix the problem. Issues like these don’t exactly make women feel sexy. The most commonly ignored factors of all when it comes to post-birth sex are the emotional and psychological factors. Not just postpartum depression—which has decent awareness these days, finally—but birth trauma and maternal anxiety, both of which clearly have a dampening effect on desire.

Moving forward

Therapy is often recommended for new moms wanting to want to have sex, because it can uncover issues that may have pre-dated your baby’s birth, as well as deal with new ones. De Dios, for one, recommends hypnotherapy since it works on the sub-conscious mind—ground zero for human desire. Hypnotherapy is controversial, but there is also evidence it works (if only in a suggestive way). In sessions with moms, De Dios works on shifting subtle patterns. For example, with a new mom dealing with poor body image, she might work on encouraging the mind to reframe self-perception. “Instead of always focusing on your postpartum belly, you learn to focus on something you like about yourself—your gorgeous boobs or your glowing skin,” she says. It sounds simplistic but De Dios swears it can work. When the underlying psychological issues are more benign, Swartz recommends that her clients start taking that much maligned term “self-care” seriously. After a baby, even the most basic pleasures can seem like a huge indulgence, so she instructs her clients to clear the time and make a fixed date with themselves. Go to a café, say, and read a book alone while savouring a hot drink. She asks women to explicitly ask their partners to assist in this project. Many women wisecrack about how “hot” they find it if their husband does the dishes or vacuums the stairs, but according to Swartz, it’s no joke. Resentment can build against a partner who isn’t shouldering their share of household responsibilities, and resentment doesn’t usually lead to sexy time. Many new moms put everyone else’s needs first. “They can no longer access their desire because they’ve gone so long not feeling entitled to it, they’ve almost forgotten how,” she says. A good portion of her clients even feel like it would be wrong to masturbate since they’re not having sex with their husbands.

Evolving identities

For many women, the whole notion of sexual desire changes after having a kid. So much of what turns us on as young women is crudely performative and socially conditioned. Even without being explicitly told, we learn that we are only entitled to feel hot if we’re hot in the eyes of men (or women who have been conditioned to view the world as the eyes of men). After babies, I felt free from this crap, and was able to see how undeveloped and backward my pre-birth sexual identity had been. I came of age in the 2000s—a time when vajazzling, Brazilian waxes and leaked celebrity sex tapes were seen as integral components of a kind of pop-feminism we’d convinced ourselves to embrace. What the hell was all that about? Like many women, after having kids, I discovered I was no longer interested in the performance of sex—the arousal that comes with being an object, rather than an agent, of desire. I was done pretending. No, not in the orgasm department (I’ve always been a bad liar). I mean, in every other aspect of physical intimacy. I was done with acquiescence, done with waxing and plucking and exercising myself into submission just so I could be allowed to “feel sexy.” I was done with the feeling that the only pleasure I truly deserved was the pleasure of pleasing a man and that anything else was shameful and dangerous. If I was going to enjoy sex again, I needed to figure out how to enjoy it selfishly, greedily, on my own terms. The irony of all female desire, of course, is that it often dovetails neatly with the neglected partner’s wants and needs. What husband doesn’t long for his wife to want sex as much as he does? It’s that basic. Instead of neutralizing my sexual self, motherhood eventually led me to access and understand my desire more deeply— but only after a period of reflection. As Swartz says, it’s important for women to see the post-baby period as a time of transition rather than rush to go back. “The true sexual journey,” she puts it, “is about a woman’s intimacy with herself.” *** Read the full article

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