#like unable to talk about anything else for days
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✎ᝰ. in the name of you .
in a world where everyone forgot their own religion, it's not wrong for luka to look at your ethereal self and immediately mistake you for a divine being, no?
featuring : luka
cw : female reader, implied stalking(for just a little), luka is obsessed with reader, luka isn't obsessed with hyuna in here for the sake of the story lol🙇♀️
a/n : i made a till one, and now i'll make a luka one! i was trying to make it seems as if luka is obsessed with reader, but i was having a hard time showing it, and ended up making it seems like luka had become a better person after meeting reader lmfaoo😭🙏
from the moment humans were taken away forcefully by those disgusting aliens—they all had forgotten about their creators. the one who gave them life, the one who gave them the will to continue living. each day felt like a stab to the heart, it feels as if someone had taken your lungs out of your body, before putting it back inside again.
it feels empty, like a void.
while all the kids run around anakt garden happily, although not genuinely, all luka could do was lean on one of the trees, while holding his knees close to his chest. what can he do? what does people expect him to do? he is a weak child, a child born with diseases, a child unable to live without support from others, including the tree he is currently leaning on. without anything to lean on, to hold on to, what was he supposed to do, weak and dependent as he was?
nothing. he could only weep himself to sleep every day, and it changes nothing. he has heard from the other kids that there is a powerful divine being that could help you in times of distress, how it's called god, how you're supposed to believe in it for it to help you, and he did. luka believed in god for a day, but nothing had changed. his everyday life had remained the same.
like waking up early, even though he doesn't know what time it is because of all the fake painted skies the aliens put in the garden, go eat breakfast with the other kids, with no one else sitting besides—"hey, is this seat occupied?" in the midst of the suffocating silence, a cheerful, almost unreal voice had reached his ears. he had first thought that it was just his imagination, his desperate feelings of wanting to be accompanied by someone. but it wasn't, as the voice echoed in his ears once again.
"uh, hello...? did i catch you on a bad day? i'm so sorry, i'll find another seat then." after what felt like a minute, he finally looked up at the person talking to him, only to notice that they're gone. he clenched his fist in regret. he should've looked up earlier, he should've answered whoever that was, but he didn't. such a shame, he thought to himself.
after half an hour, luka finished his breakfast and was getting ready to leave, before being stopped by someone whose voice was so familiar to him, it almost feels as if he is dreaming. "hey, um... i'm really, really sorry for bothering you earlier. as an apology, i got some bread for you!" that cheerful voice had struck something inside him, his eyes grew wide slightly, and his hand trembles at the sight of you. if he were to believe in the divine, he would immediately get down on his knees and pray for you, an angel.
your soft gaze, your skin that looks almost as delicate and fragile as a glass, and your small fingers offering him the bread you got for him. it took him almost a minute to react, and all that came out of his mouth is just a small gasp, so small that even you can't hear it. "don't tell anyone about this though, but i stole it from someone's unfinished breakfast! so take it, please?" you shoved the bread to his face, which made him raise his eyebrows. but he took it anyway.
he examines the bread carefully, to which you took great offense. "i won't poison you, so there's no need to look at it so intensely!" you pout at him. if you squint your eyes really hard, you can notice the faintest hint of smile on his face, and probably the first time he has ever smile so genuinely.
his everyday routine had consisted of the same, basic thing. but, now that you talked to him, it changed his life forever. it changed his views of the world, of everyone. some kids may have believed in the divine from the moment they were born, but luka just believed in the divine the moment she graced himself with her kindness.
from then on, whenever luka woke up and entered the garden, the first thing—or person he looks for, is you. whenever he went to the cafeteria, the first person he approached is you, and when luka went to his first performance on stage, the first person he looks for in the audience is you, holding a cream-colored lightstick.
whenever luka goes anywhere, the first person he looks for, thought of, and wishes to see first... is you.
his god, his universe.
and if he happens to notice some... imbecile, or other people trying to approach you, he won't hesitate to show them that no one can approach his angel without consequences. no one other than him.
naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use,(with or without permission), do not reccommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.
#nao.writes#alien stage#alien stage fanfic#alien stage vivinos#alien stage luka#alnst luka#luka alnst#luka x reader#alien stage luka x reader#alien stage x reader#alien stage x you#alnst#alnst x reader#hihihihi
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It's Not Your Fault
Jason’s been sitting in the therapist’s office for a while now, mostly silent as she asks him questions he gives one or two word answers to.
“Why don’t you tell me about what happened?” the therapist asks, clearly trying to get Jason to interact with her.
“Why should I?” Jason asks, keeping his eyes on his hands.
“Because maybe if you talk about it, it will help you process through your grief. If you’re unable to talk about it we can start with something else.”
Jason sighs. “It started out as a mission, barely a mission. The police needed assistance clearing out a building, so Red and I went. They were clearing out the building because due to some explosion that had happened next door a little earlier in the day, they found that it wasn’t likely the foundation of the building would hold. A bunch of debris fell on Red. He didn’t make it home.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Angry,” Jason answers.
“Anything else?” she presses.
Jason shakes his head. “Nope.”
“It’s natural to feel angry, but do you think there’s something stopping you from feeling anything else?”
“Yeah, the anger.” Jason looks at his watch. “But would you look at that? Time’s up, so I’m gonna head home.”
“We’re not done talking about this.”
“I am. I’ve got other things to do today.”
Jason gets up and grabs his bag, then heads out of the therapist’s office without another word.
Jason heads up to the top floor to search for anybody else. When he doesn’t find anybody, he heads down to find Tim. Jason hears a crack, then the floor starts fracturing.
“What floor are you on?” Jason asks.
“I don’t know, eighth floor?” Tim answers.
Dread fills Jason knowing that’s the floor right below him.
“Get to the stairs, now. The floor above you is going to cave in.”
“On my way.”
Jason races down the stairs and he hears the floor give out on his way down. He gets to the next floor and doesn’t see Tim at the stairs. He runs onto the floor and Tim’s buried under debris.
“Tim,” he breathes, then runs over.
Jason removes debris and Tim’s not moving. Once enough debris is moved, Jason pulls Tim over to the stable side of the building. Tim’s eyes are half-open and he coughs up blood onto himself and Jason.
“Hey, it’s gonna be fine.”
He gently picks Tim up and gets him out of the building. Once they’re out of the building, Jason gently puts Tim down to check for injuries. Tim’s wheezing.
“Medical’s on their way,” Jason says. “Just a little longer.”
“I can’t,” Tim says.
The words feel like a bucket of ice water being dumped on Jason’s head.
“That’s okay, it’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry,” Tim says, his voice breaking.
“It’s okay, don’t be sorry. You’ve done such a good job. You can rest now.”
Tim gives Jason a small smile, then closes his eyes. Jason holds his brother close until he stops breathing.
Jason gets home and heads straight for his room.
“Jason!”
It’s Dick, and Jason can hear footsteps behind him meaning that Dick’s following him.
“Can you leave me alone?” Jason asks.
“That’s all I’ve been doing for a month. I’ve tried being accommodating but you keep pushing me away.”
“Maybe that’s because I don’t want anyone’s attention.”
Jason slams his door shut behind him and he can almost hear Dick’s thoughts of knocking on Jason’s door. He doesn’t end up doing it and Jason can hear him head towards Damian’s room down the hall. Jason spends the rest of the day locked in his room reading the books Tim wrote in his little amount of free time before taking over WE or laying on his bed, occasionally throwing darts.
It’s well after ten o’clock when he takes stock of the time and decides he should probably get something to drink. Jason walks downstairs and finds nobody. He sighs and heads to the kitchen. Not that he exactly wanted to run into anybody, but he was hoping that maybe he’d wanna talk if he did. He contemplates breaking into the liquor cabinet, but decides to just drown his sorrows in orange juice instead. He walks into the living room and Bruce is standing there. He must have just come up from the Batcave.
Jason turns to leave when Bruce’s voice stops him. “Jason.”
“Dickie tattle on me?”
“No, what happened with you and Dick?”
Jason turns back towards Bruce. “Nothing.”
“Can we talk for a minute?” Bruce asks.
“Why not? I don’t have anything better to do,” Jason answers.
Jason stands behind the couch while Bruce stays standing over by the bookshelf.
“Everyone’s worried,” Bruce says.
“Of course everyone’s worried,” Jason replies, cutting Bruce off. “Nobody knows how to mind their own business in this family aside from Damian.”
“Everyone’s worried because this isn’t healthy,” Bruce continues, clearly ignoring Jason’s jab at him. “Nobody wants you to keep living like this.”
“How am I supposed to live with the fact that he’s dead?” Jason shouts. “All I feel is rage! The sadness was gone within a day and all I can feel is this rage that makes me want to go out and start killing every psychotic or psychopathic person in this city!”
“I understand that,” Bruce starts, but Jason cuts him off.
“How could you? You didn’t kill anyone!” Jason shouts, throwing the book that was on the table at Bruce.
Bruce moves just enough that he doesn’t get hit by the book, but he keeps his eyes on Jason. Jason’s breathing heavily, trying not to cry, his temper starting to evaporate. Bruce walks over and wraps his arms around Jason.
“I’m sorry you had to go through this,” Bruce says quietly. “It’s okay to be upset and angry, but it isn’t your fault that this happened. And I promise I’ll be here for you.”
Jason starts crying and buries his head in Bruce’s shoulder, sadness replacing the anger in an instant. Bruce rubs his back while he cries, the two of them staying in that position until Jason runs out of tears.
“Come on, let’s get you some water and then head to bed. It’s late and you obviously haven’t slept much lately. If you can’t sleep, we can talk.”
Jason nods. “I’m sorry I threw that book at you, Dad.”
“There’s no need to be sorry. I know you didn’t mean it.”
They head upstairs and Jason asks, “Can you come sit with me for a bit?”
Bruce nods, so they go sit on Jason’s bed. Jason talks about Tim for a bit, trying not to cry again, then falls asleep leaning against Bruce.
#whumptober2024#whumptober#no.20#emotional angst#shoulder to cry on#giving permission to die#it's not your fault#major character death#batman#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#angst#feels#whump#emotional hurt/comfort#grief
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First|| <-prev next-> (soon)
AO3
Chapter 11- Attack on Castle Town
It was infuriating
Two whole days had passed since Link and Rusl arrived to Castle Town, yet it felt like no one was making an effort to come up with a plan. They had talked about hunting the beast down, luring it in, or waiting to see when it would attack again to then strike. But it felt like they were talking in circles, the conversation melting into the talk of the mundane.
Rusl, of course, loved visiting with his friends and talking to them about whatever came to mind, but not now. Not when that thing just attacked his children and threatened his home. The anxiety ate up at him, and he found himself unable to sit still at the table where everyone else sat. So he stood in the corner, his arms crossed as he glared at the others.
“So we should head to Faron since it was in Ordon last night, right?” Shad asked, staring at the map.
“No, it was just in Faron, it might’ve moved,” Link corrected.
“Didn’t sound like it moved from when it first attacked you guys,” Ashei butted in, her arms crossed at the table.
Link pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “I guess…”
“So we head to Faron?” Auru suggested, and Sheik finally stepped into the conversation.
“It seems like the most logical place to go, but we need to know how to fight this monster. If five soldiers couldn’t kill it, then I doubt six of us could.”
“Yes, but we do have one more person,” Shad said, his finger in the air, “and we’re more prepared.”
“It’s not like the soldiers of Hyrule are anything impressive,” Auru muttered, and Sheik looked away.
“Will you be fighting though Shad?” Link asked, and Shad gave him an offended look.
“Why—of course, old boy! I may not wield a sword but I have a weapon stronger than that!” The scholar patted his book, and Auru snorted.
“Are you going to throw the book at the monster?”
The group erupted into laughter and Rusl rolled his eyes. They were getting off track again.
“No! I have my head right here!” Shad defended himself, and Auru laughed harder.
“Great! So we’ll use your head as a weapon when the rest of ours break!”
“I meant my brain!” Shad stood up in fury, but his fiance pulled him back down, an amused smile on her face.
“We get what you mean, Shad,” she said and gave him a peck on the cheek. Rusl sighed and cleared his throat loudly, catching the attention of Auru and Link. His son looked down, a slightly guilty look on his face, and his fingers interlocked together.
“Well, we may have a better chance than the soldiers, but we still need a plan,” he said, and Rusl felt relieved that they were finally strategizing. He and Link discussed strategies several times, but ultimately they wanted to brainstorm with the others for more ideas.
“You fought the beasts, old boy,” Shad started, his anger having disappeared entirely, “what is your suggestion?”
Link looked down, his eyebrows furrowed. “I… I don’t know. This isn’t a normal shadow beast.”
“I remember they were a challenge,” Auru contemplated. “Having to kill them all at the same time was… infuriating.”
“They just kept coming back to life,” Ashei added, and the rest of the group nodded.
“Well, as long as you killed them at the same time, they were relatively easy,” Link said. “But this beast is alone, so I don’t think we have to worry about it coming back to life once it’s dead. It’s just… tough.”
Sheik nodded. “It has to have a weakness though. We will weaken it, keep our distance, and…” they grabbed their right hand, “perhaps we could get the light spirit’s assistance? If it’s from the twilight, I doubt pure, divine light will feel good, hm?”
Link’s eyes widened as if he realized something and he nodded. “That’s a great idea, Sheik. We’ll get the light spirits to help weaken it, and while it’s down, we’ll give it everything we have.”
The group seemed to agree with the plan—if Rusl could even call it a plan—and Auru raised his drink.
“To victory then,” he cheered, and the others raised their own, with Link simply bumping his fist since he didn’t have one. Rusl let out a sigh and pushed his frustrations aside. He wasn’t sleeping well, and the anxiety felt like it was eating him up inside, so he was much more quick to anger than normal. But he had to try to be patient—they were going to get to deal with the threat, he knew it. He just had to slow down with the rest of them.
“Alright, let’s head out then,” Rusl muttered, stepping closer to the group, but Sheik stood up.
“Not yet. I must convey this information with some… allies. They may help if something were to go wrong.”
Link and Ashei seemed understanding while Auru and Shad seemed indifferent, but Rusl was exasperated.
“What? We’re not—when will you be back?” He asked, a sharpness to his voice as his patience was wearing thin.
“I’m not sure, hopefully before tonight—”
“Tonight? Where in the spirit’s name will you be going?” He snapped. Sheik’s eyes widened in surprise and they looked around uncomfortably.
“I just have things I need to do,” they muttered, and Link looked up at his pa, a worried expression on his face.
“We don’t have time! We should leave now and deal with it before it takes more people!” Rusl argued, and Auru stood up.
“If what Sheik says is true, then we should get help if something were to go wrong. Calm down—”
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Rusl shouted, leaving everyone surprised. “You don’t know what type of a threat this thing is! If we wait any longer, we could lose it!”
“Rusl,” Auru started, his hands raised in an effort to calm him. “I know, but we are merely six people… and… really it’d only be four of you physically fighting it—I may not be able to do much. We need all the help we can get.”
“But it’ll be too late! We won’t be able to travel until the morning!”
Shad hummed. “Maybe leaving at night would help us find it better.”
“No, that's a horrible idea,” Link jumped in, and Rusl let out a groan.
“I can’t sit around any longer, I need this thing dead!”
“Goddesses, what has gotten into you?” Auru asked. “You were perfectly fine this morning—”
“That was because I thought we were safe during the day,” Rusl spat. “I thought we had more time as long as everyone stayed in at night. But no, it’s dangerous no matter what time it is! We can’t stall anymore!”
Everyone looked at each other. Ashei looked understanding, Sheik looked guilty, while Link looked uncomfortable at the outburst. Rusl blinked a few times and let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair.
“I–I’m sorry I…” He started, but he couldn’t get the words out. He looked up at Auru who stared blankly at him and he turned away. “You do what you need to do Sheik, I’m gonna go cool my head,” he said softly, and he left the backroom, ignoring Telma’s confused look as he burst through the door to the bar. He didn’t know where he was going—he supposed he was simply walking around the town to clear his head. The lack of sleep from the past few nights was catching up to him, and the fear surrounding the shadow beast plagued his waking mind. He felt like he couldn’t escape it, and he just wanted it taken care of so he could finally rest. He supposed with his own children and grandson having to get involved, it finally caused him to break.
The loud noises of the town wasn’t doing him any favors, so he went through the southern gate to escape to somewhere quieter, leaving behind the shops lined up next to Telma’s bar and entering a clearing. It was empty and peaceful, with a fountain in between cobblestone stairs that poured out the bluest water. Rusl walked to the fountain and kneeled, the anxiety and anger leaving his body to make way for vulnerability. He opened his heart and prayed.
He didn’t know who he was praying to; he wasn’t exactly praying to Ordona, or the light spirits themselves. But he found himself praying to someone. He prayed that he and the others would be safe, he prayed that his children would be safe, and he prayed that his wife would be protected. Goddesses she must’ve been worried sick over them—she always got extremely upset over these things. He hoped that she would know that the children were safe, and that she wouldn’t blame herself for what happened. As he prayed, tears started to trickle out of his eyes, and he leaned forward to rest his head against the stone. He was so tired, so tired from everything that happened to him from the past few days. The beast would plague his mind every moment, even if he was asleep. He couldn’t escape it no matter what he did, and now his own family was involved—his own children.
“Papa?”
Rela’s soft voice broke the silence, causing Rusl to sit up and turn his head to look at his daughter. He wiped his tears quickly and forced a smile, and she looked nervous as her hands fidgeted with each other.
“Rela, what the heck are you doin’ out here by yourself?” Rusl asked. “I thought you were sleeping.”
“I… Uh… I couldn’t sleep,” she said softly. “I wanted to talk to you and I saw you walk out so I followed you and… uh…”
Rusl’s smile went away and he sighed. “I don’t want you by yourself in town. Monsters ain’t the only thing we need to look out for.”
“I know… but…” Rela’s arms wrapped around her waist. Her pa gave a more genuine smile and gestured for her to join him. She was hesitant, but she finally joined him, kneeling on the ground as she stared at the fountain. Rusl stared at her for a moment and finally pulled her close, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as she leaned into his hug. She was never a touchy person, always hating his hugs and kisses, so he made sure to enjoy any moment where she enjoyed his touch.
“Um… papa….” Rela started, her fingers fidgeting more now. “I need to tell you something.”
Rusl raised an eyebrow and pulled away to fully look at her. “What is it?”
“The reason… um… the reason that me and Colin and Kori are here is that… um…”
“The monster?”
Rela shook her head, shame apparent on her face. “No… I mean—yes—but… it’s my fault we’re here.”
Rusl frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I was… I was tryn’a teach Kori how to sword fight ‘cause I knew that there was a monster in the woods but… I accidentally left your wooden swords in the water at the spring and I went to go get them and…” Rela sighed. “I dragged everyone into it ‘cause I was dumb… I’m sorry papa.”
“Oh.” Rusl certainly wasn’t expecting Rela to say any of that. “So… y’all left Ordon?”
“Well… me and Kori were practicin’ in Ordon spring, but we met the soldiers and we showed them where y’all found the monster…” Rela sighed. “But we wouldn’t have been there in the first place if not for me. I’m sorry.”
Rusl stared, not knowing how to react. He could be angry, he could be sad, or he could be horrified, but he brushed it all away. She shouldn’t blame herself.
“Sweetie, I wasn’t clear enough with y’all,” he said softly, looking down at her. She did not look back up at him. “You didn’t understand the danger we were in. I certainly didn’t make it more clear. Don’t put all the blame on yourself.”
Rela frowned. “But… I still left.”
“Not on purpose. And I suppose I should’ve told y’all to stay away from the spring.” Rusl let out another sigh and he gave Rela a squeeze. “Besides, it’s in the past. Me and Link are gonna head out tomorrow to fight it. I want y’all to stick with Colin here until it’s safe, ok?”
Rela nodded. “Ok…”
“Wait, we’re not goin’ home—”
Rusl and Rela flinched at Kori who was suddenly behind them, with Rusl grabbing his daughter closer to him as he moved from the young twilian. Kori watched them with a bewildered expression as they stared horrified, and Rusl let out a breathy laugh.
“Spirits above, Kori. You scared the living daylights outta me!” He breathed, letting Rela go. “Why’re you here?”
“I heard Rela leave,” he answered simply, and Rusl rolled his eyes with an annoyed smile.
“Ok, no more going out into Castle Town by yourselves, ok?” He scolded. Kori looked down and tapped his feet on the cobblestone, and Rusl raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you come from anyways? I didn’t hear you at all.”
“Oh, I was in the shadows!” He answered, and Rusl and Rela glanced at each other.
“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” Rela asked, and Rusl let out a sigh.
“Watch your language sweetie. And Kori, I have to ask as well. What do you mean you were ‘in the shadows’?”
Kori grinned, his dimples appearing just below his black markings. “Watch this!”
To Rusl’s surprise, his grandson suddenly morphed into a dark figure, diving into his and Rela’s shadow next to them. Rela jumped to her feet and stared at her own shadow wide eyed, Kori’s little blue eyes appearing to stare back.
“Kori? Since when could you do that?” She yelled out, and Kori emerged from the shadows, giggling slightly.
“Since last night.”
“And you’re mentioning it now? Do you realize how cool that power is? You can hide in the shadows!”
Rela and Kori began to chatter excitedly over his new power, while Rusl glanced around at the empty plain in front of him. The wind blew slightly, the sunlight dimmed, and an uneasy feeling began to overwhelm him. He stood up and started to nudge the kids closer to the gate, checking behind him to make sure he wasn’t being followed. There was nothing there, but he still hurriedly pushed the kids to safety.
“Alright, it’s time to head back to the bar,” he said, his arms wrapped around the two. “And I’m serious about not traveling alone in town. It’s dangerous, ok?”
“Yes papa.”
“Ok grandpa!”
Rusl smiled, but it quickly faded as he thought about the two, his babies, facing such a horrifying monster…
They were too young, too innocent to see such horrors. Goddesses, what kind of a man was he—what kind of a father was he—to let them suffer so? His grip on them tightened as he led them through the busy town, determination flowing through him. He wasn’t going to fail again— he was going to protect them. Even if it killed him.
“Kitties!”
Kori suddenly pulled away from Rusl, running to a home with cats in the front playing with a ball. Rusl sighed, but he allowed the children to play with the cats, not really wanting to see the others just yet.
“Hi baby,” Kori cooed, holding his hand out for a kitten, who sniffed at his hand cautiously. Rela tapped the ball, sending it rolling for the other cats to chase after, and she giggled as they pounced each other. Rusl wished he could enjoy watching them play, but a sinking feeling of dread made him antsy, and he kept looking around him as if he were to be attacked any second. The townsfolk seemed to be anxious as well, with them hurrying to the homes and emptying the streets. Rusl turned to the kids and tapped Rela’s shoulder, gesturing to the direction of the bar with his head.
“It’s time to go. Say goodbye to the kitties.”
“Aw, but he just started to like me!” Kori whined, holding the kitten in his arms.
“I’m sorry kid, but it’s time to head back. Come on.”
Kori pouted but obeyed, reluctantly leaving the kitty behind. Rusl was pushing them faster now, wanting to get inside the bar as soon as possible, which clearly annoyed them with his hands gripping their shoulders.
“What’s the matter, grandpa Rusl?” Kori asked, glancing at Rusl’s hand.
“Nothin’, I just think it’s best if we head inside. A storm might be comin’.”
“Well you don’t have to grab my shoulder like that!” Rela complained, trying to shake off his hand as she spun around. “I can walk on my own you kno—”
A scream from his daughter interrupted her, and Rusl moved on instinct, grabbing the two children and sprinting towards crates for cover. Behind him he heard a slam along with screams, and when he turned, the beast was watching him, snarling growling.
The beast… the shadow beast… it was here—it was here.
Was it following them?
The beast’s snarl was aimed at him, and Rusl froze in fear, the fear of that night returning to him in full force. He was in danger, it was going to kill him, he was going to die, he was going to die he was going to die—
Rela screamed again in fear, burying her face in Rusl’s shirt while Kori remained quiet and stiff, which snapped him out of his stupor. It wasn’t just him that was in danger, but his children. By the goddesses he wasn’t going to let this thing hurt them again.
The shadow beast watched him, as if waiting for him to make a move. Its black, leathery skin looked like a void against the light cobblestone, save for the yellow teeth that dripped a black goo out of its mouth, staining the stone. It didn’t look different from when Rusl first encountered it, just as horrifying as before, yet it felt far more powerful, with a dark magic emanating from it. People were screaming in the town, running like wild animals to get away from the beast, but Rusl ignored them, shoving Rela and Kori behind him.
“Rela, get Kori to Telma’s bar and tell the others to come here,” he commanded, keeping his eyes on the beast as it stared.
“B-b-but p-pa–” Rela stuttered, but Rusl pushed her away.
“Get away from here!” He yelled, causing Rela to flinch, but she got up, trying to drag Kori behind her, though the boy was frozen.
Right as she and Kori moved though, the beast reacted and began to charge at the two. Rusl gasped and grabbed a crate, swinging it and throwing it right at the beast, which stopped it before it could reach the children. The crate shattered on impact, allowing Rusl to grab a broken piece to use as a makeshift weapon against the beast. It wasn’t as good as a sword, but hopefully it’d be enough to buy Rela and Kori time. Rusl swung the broken piece at the beast’s head before it was able to fully recover, it being almost pathetic at how little it reacted from the hit. After the wooden piece bounced off its head, it turned and snapped its jaws at Rusl, the teeth smacking against each other when it missed.
“Come on! Over here!” He shouted, trying to divert its attention from where Rela and Kori were, which worked for a moment as it turned its head to look at him.
“Come on Kori! Move!” Rusl heard Rela shout, and it drew the beast’s attention back to them. To Rusl’s horror, Kori was frozen in fear, staring at the beast with wide eyes as Rela tried to drag him back to the bar. Rusl sprinted to them just as the beast charged. Rela screamed and ran away, her hand slipping from Kori’s as she tried to pull him with her, leaving him alone as the beast got closer and closer. But Rusl got to him first.
He grabbed his grandson and rolled out of the way, dodging the beast’s rampage. Rusl searched for his daughter, but she was long gone, and the beast recovered too fast for him to stall any longer. He sent a prayer to the spirits to keep Rela safe and he ran to Malo Mart, slamming the door and setting Kori down. The poor boy was still frozen, his breathing rapid and tears forming in his eyes. Rusl moved him away from the door, cupping his face.
“Kori, look at me,” he said as calmly as he could as the boy started to sob. “Kori, I need you to be brave for me, ok? Hide out here, and do not come out unless I say so, ok?”
Kori stood sobbing for a moment, and Rusl wiped his tears and readjusted his head so he was looking at him.
“Kori, everything is going to be ok, ok?” He reassured, and he buried the boy in a hug. “Now hide in the shadows or whatever it is you can do and stay away from the door, you hear?”
Kori sniffled and nodded, seeming to calm down just enough to be able to think. Rusl smiled, but the moment of safety was gone in an instant when the roof broke, and a large, black hand reached out to grab them. Rusl pushed Kori away right as the hand landed on him, knocking the breath out of him.
Rusl grunted as the hand tightened around him, and he was lifted up through the hole. Kori watched in horror, moving to try to reach him, but Rusl waved him away, struggling in the thing’s grip.
“Hide Kori!” He yelled out, and he was pulled out of the building, his grandson’s voice calling out to him from within the building.
Rusl clawed at the fingers wrapped tightly around him, and he was suddenly inches away from the thing’s face. The stench from the monster’s hot breath nearly suffocated him, the endless, black mouth was open wide, and he flinched away, only to be trapped in its grip. Panic spiked within his chest as memories from the night of their first meeting flooded in—the memory of the tight throat swallowing him down, the slime and goo falling on every inch of his body, the tendrils in its stomach grabbing onto him…
“No, no no no!” He shouted, struggling against the beast’s hold while staring at its teeth in horror, but it didn’t put him in its mouth again. Instead it simply put him in one of its back hands as if he were a worthless toy, going back to digging around in the shop, and Rusl gasped as realization hit him. It was after Kori.
“KORI!” Rusl yelled in warning as the beast broke another hole through the roof. He squirmed and shifted, but his arms were pinned to his sides, the monster’s grip tight around him.
Just as the beast was about to tear another hole into the roof, an explosion hit the monster’s left side, causing it to shriek in pain. Rusl felt its grip around him loosen, and he was able to get one arm free before the grip tightened again. He looked to see where the explosion came from, and he saw Auru kneeling on the ground, his bazooka on one shoulder as he glared at the beast. Ashei and Shad were behind him, with Ashei’s longsword drawn and protectively in front of Shad, who stared at the beast wide-eyed.
“You better drop him now or else I’ll shoot again!” Auru yelled, aiming his weapon, but the beast didn’t seem threatened, and instead returned to trying to find Kori. Auru followed through on his threat and shot at the monster again, it shrieking in pain when it was hit, but it remained stubborn. Rusl watched Ashei run to the building, climbing to the top with her sword still drawn. She sprinted to the beast and sliced at its injured shoulder, making it flinch away. Annoyed, it went to smack Ashei off the roof, but she dodged and countered with another swipe of her sword, hitting its right arm once again. The beast snarled and directed its full attention to the woman, slamming its fist at her as she hopped back and forth. It soon began to swing its claws at her when squishing her didn’t work, but Ashei was quick despite the armor she had on, and she ducked to avoid the beast’s claws. The shadow beast grew agitated, and it slammed its fist hard against the roof next to Ashei, which didn’t hurt her, but it caused her to lose her footing, and she wasn’t able to dodge the monster slapping her off of the roof. Ashei yelled out as she flew, landing on the cobblestone ground with a sickening crack.
“Ashei!” Shad shouted as she fell off, sprinting to her side as she struggled to stand up. Her face was pale, she cradled her side, and she looked like she was struggling to breathe, which made Rusl worried. The beast turned to look at Ashei and Shad, and Auru let another shot from his weapon loose, which hit it right in the chest. It shrieked in pain, but remained standing on the roof.
“How many hits is it gonna take?” Auru exasperated, loading his weapon again.
“Auru, I’m afraid you’re going to hit Rusl!” Shad yelled, but he didn’t listen as he shot the beast again. Everytime, Auru hit the beast head-on, which Rusl felt as the shock rippled through his body, the heat making him sweat. But the blasts never hurt him directly, with the monster feeling most of the pain, and its grip loosened enough for Rusl to get his other arm free. But once again, its fingers tightened around him just as he was about to slip away.
“Oh come on,” Rusl groaned in frustration, feeling his sides bruise from the grip. The beast recovered from the blast again, and faced Auru with fury radiating off of it. But before it could pounce, Rusl heard a sword being drawn and spotted Link right as he landed on the beast, the blade of his sword facing down and piercing the leathery back.
The shadow beast let out a shriek that rang out through the entire town, stinging Rusl’s ears from the shrill, and he gasped as the grip finally loosened, causing him to fall. He landed on the roof with a painful thud, his knees and ankles stinging from the impact, but there was no time to sit there as the beast wailed in pain.
“Link!” Rusl shouted, scrambling to his aching feet. His son glanced over at him, his grip around his sword tight. “Kori’s below us! It’s after him!”
Link’s eyes widened in realization, his glare turning into a horrified expression, but before he could do anything, the beast stood up straight, making Link hang onto the sword still embedded into its back. Then it jumped back, threatening to crush Link. Link jumped to Rusl before he could get trapped between the roof and the monster, and the roof beneath them collapsed from the impact. Pain exploded in Rusl’s body as Link landed on him, and everything went dark, the sounds of debris falling being the last thing he heard.
~~~
There was chaos in Castle Town. She knew from the screams and broken buildings, but she paid it no mind. As soon as Rusl’s daughter barged into the bar where she and the others still sat, they were all up and ready to go fight the beast, knowing that the time for planning was over. Sheik had planned to tell Edmund about the beast, as a safety measure in case she didn’t make it back, but she supposed there was no time for that now. She just had to trust that Edmund would notice the giant shadow beast attacking the town.
Instead of joining the others in the fight, however, Sheik was standing in her room at the bar, praying to the light spirits the same way she did ten years ago. She knew that the light arrows she acquired from them would aid them in the fight, but it was a matter of getting them to help again. Truthfully, she didn’t know if they would. The tyranny of Ganondorf was over; the threat of the world was no longer there, but she hoped that they would understand the threat now.
“Oh light spirits,” she started, the only sound of her voice in her room feeling awkward, but she continued, “I ask for your help once again, to help defeat an evil that threatens Hyrule.”
Nothing happened, so she continued, ignoring the unease in her heart. “I need the light arrows to defeat this foe. It is a shadow beast, but it is a powerful one. Please, it’s taken and harmed my people. I need to defeat it.”
It remained silent, the familiar feeling of the divine spirits didn’t appear, and panic began to settle in. Why weren’t they responding? They immediately replied to her during the invasion, granting her the light arrows that stunned Ganondorf long enough for Link to fight him. But now it felt like they were ignoring her. Why?
“Please,” she begged, kneeling on the ground and bowing her head. “Please, help me. I must protect Hyrule, I must fulfill my duty as a queen and—and as a mother. Please.”
Frustration began to build up in her as nothing happened. Everything felt easier back then for her despite nearly losing her kingdom. She felt like she could focus, like she could clear her head to figure out what to do. But now everything felt hard, impossible. Like she was trapped in quicksand that she couldn’t escape. Every decision led to a terrible consequence, where she would bear the weight of the blame due to her position. Not looking into the disappearances earlier, not spending time with her family, not building good relationships with people, stretching herself thin where she felt like she could barely do anything—
Goddesses, she couldn’t fail. There were too many people depending on her—an entire kingdom depended on her.
“Please, I need your help,” she tried one more, resting her head on the ground, her voice shaking, “I cannot do this without you.”
“Zelda.”
Her head shot up, finding herself in a dark world that was lit up by the water and the light spirits watching her. Relief swelled in her, and she bowed her head.
“Thank you, light spirits,” she started, “I need you help—”
“No you do not,” the spirit of Lanayru interrupted her, the snake-like eyes watching her. Zelda paused, taken aback from the sudden bluntness.
“W-What do you mean?”
“You do not need our help.”
“I–Yes, I do. I need the light arrows to defeat a beast of darkness—”
“And you were wise in searching for the light arrows…”
“But… you’re not going to give them to me?”
Eldin moved closer to her. “You already have them…”
Zelda paused, looking down at her empty hands. “I…I already have them?”
“You’ve always had them,” Faron jumped in, tilting their head. “They never left you.”
“I—How do I get them then? I’ve never used them since Ganondorf.”
“That is something you will have to figure out yourself…” Faron explained.
“You do not put enough faith in yourself…” Eldin added.
“And so you struggle to find that divine power…” Lanayru finished.
Zelda frowned, rubbing her right hand where the triforce of wisdom glowed. “How do I find it then? How… how do I simply put faith in myself?”
“It is no easy task…you’ve dealt with many obstacles in your life now…we do not blame you for struggling so…”
“But you must learn to be kind to yourself…you are only a Hylian…”
“A Hylian that is responsible for my kingdom,” Zelda grumbled. “I must be hard on myself otherwise I’ll never make the right decision!”
Lanayru shook their head. “You’ll simply overthink everything…you put too much pressure on yourself…”
Zelda paused, looking down at the bright water, the memory of her and Edmund’s conversation playing through her mind.
“… looking at you now, I’ve grown more worried than upset,” Edmund said to her. “You’ve overworked yourself so much to the point that you collapsed. That’s not a good thing. I suppose I… I just want to know why you’re so intent on doing everything yourself, when I’m here to… help you.”
She had put so much pressure on herself that she literally passed out from exhaustion, and her mind has felt foggy ever since. Perhaps it’s felt foggy long before the disappearances have gotten worse, since the twilight invasion…
Goddesses, everything has felt impossible, cloudy, and too heavy for her to bear. But she didn’t know how to receive help—she didn’t know how to fix it. Yet it clearly was keeping her from the light arrows, so much so that the light spirits recognized it.
“I…see…” she simply said. “I’ve always had the light arrows?”
“Yes…you’ve always had them… you just need to learn how to use them…”
Zelda sighed, frowning as she stared at her hands. A familiar, warm tingling sensation started at where her triforce piece lingered, and she nodded. She could do this, she had to.
“Can I ask you one more thing then?” She asked, looking up at the light spirits. They each nodded, and Zelda got to her feet, still keeping her head bowed. “What are we up against?”
Ordona stepped forward, with the others making way for her. “This is a shadow beast… one of the first created by the usurper Zant…it has lingered in the Twilight Realm all these years, getting stronger…”
“If it’s from the Twilight Realm, how did it get here?” Zelda asked, thinking of Midna somehow coming back for Kori.
“It has stolen force from the Twili there… growing strong enough to be able to move between worlds while staying hidden…”
“Force? Like… life force?”
The spirits each looked at each other, and the world around them began to fade.
“Your kingdom needs you, Queen of Hyrule…go, and save them…”
Zelda blinked and she was suddenly back in the room. She still felt clouded and weak, but she knew that her friends needed her, as did her kingdom. Ignoring the questions that weren’t answered, she looked at the triforce of wisdom on her hand and closed her eyes, reaching deep within her to access the magic she had. The warm feeling in her hand began again, and it spread throughout her chest. For a moment, she felt the power in her flow through her veins, a warmth in her fingers.
Then it went away.
Zelda opened her eyes to see nothing in front of her, only the empty room above the inn. Her brows furrowed as she stared at her hands, the fingers trembling slightly.
“I don’t understand,” she whimpered, clenching her fists, “I need them! How do I… why couldn’t you just tell me?”
The room remained silent as Sheik sat there, her prayers unanswered and her hands empty. She looked around her, kneeled down, and once again tried to reach deep within herself to find the arrows, but there was nothing. Not even the faint glow of the triforce of wisdom appeared.
“Come on! I can’t leave without them! I said I’d get them, why can’t I get them?” Sheik punched the floor in frustration, her divine magic suddenly feeling like it was being sucked out of her. She simply asked back then, and the light spirits answered. Of course it had to be different now, of course it had to be harder for her.
A faint explosion was heard outside, along with screaming, and Sheik finally sat up, looking around the room. She could sulk in the room forever, but she still had a duty to the resistance; she needed to help them, empty-handed.
Admitting defeat, Sheik stood up and ran to the window, jumping out and climbing onto the roof. Immediately she spotted a cloud of smoke ahead of her, with the sounds of roaring and yelling, and she took off towards it. A shop in front of the fountain was completely destroyed, with Link trying to distract the shadow beast while Rusl laid unconscious in the rubble, and Kori worriedly looked over him. Sheik grimaced at the sight, dread resting in her stomach as she watched Rusl, pale and unmoving.
“G-Grandpa–” the little boy whimpered, shaking him gently, but he didn’t wake up.
“Kori, get out of here!” Link yelled, but Kori remained frozen at his grandfather’s side. They were helpless against the thing, and Sheik couldn’t help but feel her blood freeze at the sight of the creature. It truly looked far more powerful than the normal shadow beasts, and she could feel the power—the force—radiating off of it. Memories of the twilight invasion came flooding in, with her watching shadow beasts killing her soldiers right before her very eyes, her own parents twisting and morphing into the black creatures by Zant’s hands, and her watching helplessly as it all happened. It’s all she was—helpless!
It turned from Link and spotted Kori, directing its attention to him, and Link tried to get it to turn back around.
“Don’t you dare—LOOK AT ME!” He yelled, desperate to keep his son safe, but it was in vain as the beast turned fully to Kori, who hugged Rusl in fear. The rest of the resistance seemed to be down, with Shad trying to help Ashei off the ground and Auru loading his bazooka frantically, and Sheik knew that Link wouldn’t be able to stop it from charging at Kori and Rusl. For some reason, a vision shot through her mind, one of the beast attacking her daughter in the same manner, and something inside her snapped. If she failed to kill this monster, then it was going to harm her daughter, and she couldn’t bear to let that happen.
She wasn’t going to let it happen.
As soon as the beast started to charge towards Kori, she jumped from the roof, landing in front of him and aiming her right hand at the beast. The triforce of wisdom glowed against her hand, shining brightly against her eyes as the diving light warmed her entire body. The magic was soon condensed and it formed into the bow of light and arrows, floating before her until she grabbed hold of it. Without having time to think, she pulled the bow back with a light arrow and shot it straight at the beast’s chest.
The shriek from the beast rang out through the town, the light attacking every inch of it like lightning as if flinched away from her. Sheik heard a confused grunt and turned to see Rusl wide awake, his brows furrowed and eyes wide as he stared at Sheik.
“Look out!” Sheik heard someone yell, and she turned just in time to see the beast charging, its mouth snarling open wide that almost paralyzed her in fear. She’s never seen their faces before. Breaking out of her fear, she shot an arrow at it when it was inches away from her, and it shriveled, growing agitated from the pain. Sheik was about to shoot it again, but it began slamming the ground in anger, nearly smashing her in the process if Rusl hadn’t pulled her out of the way, and she was huddled up next to him and Kori. The beast shrieked as the light attacked it, and Link got close to finish it off, but he was smacked away from the chaos.
“Papa!” Kori yelled, and ran to where his father landed.
“No! Kori!” Rusl yelled, holding tight to his grandson and following.
Before they could move past the monster however, black magic formed from where the beast rampaged, spreading right under Sheik and the others. A red swirl appeared in the center beneath the shadow beast, a sight that was all too familiar to Sheik, and she suddenly felt trapped in one place from the black magic surrounding her. A dizziness assaulted her as she tried to stand, and to her horror, she watched as the light arrow and bow disappeared from her hands. Her fingers began to vanish, turning into black squares that were being sucked into the center of the portal, and the last thing she saw before disappearing was Link reaching out to her.
#Kori#love at twilight#smiles writes#yayyy!#1 year anniversary!!!#and everything is going terrible! :D#idk I think writing all that action in whumtpober made writing action here nearly IMPOSSIBLE#it was so hard#and so the ending is kinda weak#but hopefully y’all can tell what’s going on#thanks as always to the lovely Bearie for beta reading and giving me suggestions 🙏#a true homie#twilight princess#gosh we’re getting to the exciting stuff hehe#cant tell you how satisfying it is to see a long chapter index ah!#I’m one of the fanfic writers !! :D
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The Gravity Falls website is so cool if middle school me saw this she would be losing her SHIT
Edit: entering all the character names is so fun lmao
#gravity falls#not that I can’t enjoy it now that I’m older#but if this happened back then I’d be actually fucking losing it#like unable to talk about anything else for days
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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Not once, since I finished TGCF, did I ever stop thinking about Xie Lian’s ultimate technique:
Shattering boulders on one’s chest
#HE DID THIS DURING A LITERAL SWORD FIGHT#LIKE HELLO?????#SPOILER ALERT HE FUCKING TOOK DOWN THE MASS MURDERER WHO WAS CAUSING DEVASTATIONS LEFT AND RIGHT BY SMASHING HIM AGAINST A WALL#IS NO ONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS#I GENUINELY DID NOT KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY#sometimes when it’s 3am all these thoughts cluster to the forefront of my brain and i pluck one out to think about it carefully#tgcf brainrot but the brain is truly rotting and unable to think of anything else#oh by the way I AM ON VOLUME 3 OF 2HA AND WTF?????????#tgcf brainrot has caught up to me#heaven official's blessing#天官赐福#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#i also think about how the entire tgcf characters will simply disappear one day in the universe and i cried
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Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.
#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me#i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu#to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately.#i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked#but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago#so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer#and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones'#who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get#she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is#that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist#i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry)#and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because#i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'(#like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy#of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with#i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless#but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it
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#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own#I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own#to make my own or to spread out and have my own space#People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult#and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking#fictional shit all day#sure I work on the property but so fucking what#I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do#I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things#and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone#idk#I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about#everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe#more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain#that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck#I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation#I can't contribute so whats the fucking point#The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time#not like it's going to change anything#if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time#my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything#not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age#honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away#maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people#idk i'm just fucking done with everything#I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos#I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness#but I'm also not a dating person#I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around#i want a life time relationship
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“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha
#my stuff#dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day#bc i skipped lab to take a nap#and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates#like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em#or at least not as much as they seem to without me#it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space#and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl#idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism#it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work#bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter#i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit#i want it to stop#i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work.#i want to cry and scream and#like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here#i don’t wanna wuss out#but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself#why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much??#like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get#i’m tired of being tough#i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure
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watching people interact with each other l i k e
#idk is it just me or are irl social interactions extremeeeeeelyyyyy e x h a u s t i n g#e s p e ci a ll y if you have to talk to a bunch of strangers who are somehow getting along really well despite it being their first meeting#but wellllllllllll… ig the reason why im even thinking of this is bc#the beginning of the year always never fails to bring back memories of orientation camps. m a n i hated those#and the things that those camps always have in common are… 1) that i’d be unable to gel well with my groupmates in the orientation camps#and 2) that the orientation group leaders always stick close to me to force me to join in on conversations i want no part of aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i think the overnight camp over the first 3 days of school in. like. 2013 was the worst#bc 1: it was a new school. none of us knew anyone else. and we had to stay at school overnight for some reason during that orientation camp#and 2: (idk about the born-males but) the skirt wearers were all forced to sleep in the (unairconditioned) hall together#with no dividers or segregated corners or anything. just the walls of the hall. nothing else to lean on or anything#so most of them. like. slept in the middle of the hall next to the friends they made that day.#but no. not me. i made no friends so i found a little cozy spot under some list of top academic scorers or sth. peace and quiet#and the best part is that the orientation group leaders didn’t sleep in the hall with us soooo i wasn’t forced to talk to anyone yayyyyyyyy#ngl sometimes i think back to my days at that school and wonder why the heck it was so weird#like even the teachers were weird. throwback to my then-club advisor who called the number i specifically asked her not to call…#which set off a series of events that led to *the* incident that caused my parents’ divorce#thank you ma’am your unnecessary efforts were very much unappreciated </3#hmmmmmm but she wasn’t the only weird teacher at that school though. sadly.#like i had this home econs teacher who insisted that the lights be turned off while we cooked#a n d scolded us for rinsing our cooking utensils and stuff bc ‘the previous class had already washed it!’#she also made us write half a page-long reflections on what we cooked that day in class which was bonkers tbh#there was this literature teacher that made a ✨t o n✨ of shipping jokes about my classmates and inappropriate jokes in general#and this other teacher who p much told me ‘ok sure you have trauma. but [other guy] had experienced worse trauma and look he turned out ok’#uh sorry ma’am no. 2 i had already heard his story from him but i don’t think it’s your place to talk about someone else’s trauma like that—#and g o d there was also this time my class’s groupchat got some of my classmates into a whole bunch of trouble#bc some guy leaked the most problematic of the messages to someone else from another class (who then snitched to a teacher)#man. i do not miss school at all. too many people to talk to; too little time to myself#i do wonder how my former schoolmates are doing though… i hope that they’ll have a good 2k24 if they can~~~~~#ok i think that’s enough of a trip down memory lane for one week. man. i feel old
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I've been trying to get this fucking degree for 7 years, suffering basically nonstop, taking part in all my classes, even taking extra ones, I think at this point I more than deserve them just giving me my bachelor's. I've done ENOUGH.
#lily talks#it has been a day#Have what might be my last exam ever on Friday and ahahahhah#I only got one attempt to pass it or I'll have to do an oral one and I would much rather die than do that#And I've put myself through almost 2 weeks of suffering from being unable to do basically anything other than lie in bed and stare at the#ceiling bc I am so stressed but enemy number 1 aka my brain refuses to let me sit down to properly study but at the same time i'm not#Allowed to do anything else because I'm not studying like I should be and I just am miserable#Anyway I've been a mess this entire time and NOW 2 fucking days before the exam the professor announces there will be another date in late#To take it instead#COULD YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ANY EARLIER??????????#I am so tempted to switch the date because I barely studied and I feel like shit but i already suffered so much for this and then I would#Just have to do it all again#But I really can't afford to mess it up either bc I don't think I would recover from that. Genuinely.#I am so unbelievably done with all of this. The degree. uni. Constant stupid pressure from everyone about when I will finally be done.#Not even daring to think about the financial aspect because I would just cry#I feel so dumb for having a meltdown before any test situation I ever found myself in because you would expect that AT SOEM POINT my brain#That at some point I would learn to deal with it and cope somehow#Unfortunately I'm starting to doubt that this is going to happen in this lifetime
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having siblings is good overall because if you turn out to be a weird kid that doesnt know how to approach other kids / who other kids dont approach and you dont have a designated buddy you're fucked. like at a brain development level
#'can you man up and play toys with me' - my sister ages 3 to 13#but fr anyone else here was that kid teachers watch really closely and talk to your parents about how theyre concerned#but not because you did anything wrong just because your vibes were off from day one. or was that just me#like looking back. comparing notes with people who got checked out as kids for stuff and all#it was fr the misogyny having my teachers be like. well she seems unable to relate to her peers at all and is crying alone a lot and such#but we're kind of keeping an eye on it and letting her do her thing whatever the hell that is. maybe she just sucks. so it's fine#personal
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I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.
But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.
People don't like Falin
Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.
Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.
The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.
The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.
But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.
Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.
Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.
Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"
And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!
Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.
In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden#yes dungeon meshi is a story about the neurodivergent experience (and many many other things)#but through that lens it is also basically autistic wishfullfillment#where people come to see and appreciate you for who you are and your specific special interest is tantamount to saving the world!#and so OF COURSE the two most obviously autistic characters are going to have people who deeply care about them#both despite and because of their autistic traits!!
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“give me all of that ultraviolence” | 2k
logan howlett x f!reader
SUMMARY: You give Logan head for the first time.
WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni - smut 18+ implied age gap. dirty talk. kind of inexperienced reader. oral sex (m receiving). face fucking. dom!logan. a tiny bit of degradation. he guides you through the whole experience (shocking!!! i know)
AUTHOR’S NOTE: HI PALS!!! yes i'm alive and kicking. yes university is killing me. so recently i’ve been OBSESSED with this man and i needed to write something for him. english is not my first language and i may have made some mistakes (if you encounter any you can tell me, i won't mind it). comments/likes/reblogs would be highly appreciated. i've got sooooo many ideas to write and i'm finally getting my hands on them. i missed you all so fucking much. hope you enjoy this!!!
It’s common knowledge that all humans have needs. Try as you may, there’s a primitive side that you can’t spare yourself from. You, as everybody else, have urges.
“Logan,” you basically mewl his name, five letters that roll off your tongue with little effort. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge you, his kisses growing harsher on the delicate skin of your neck. Threading your fingers through his hair, you decide to try again, speaking a bit louder this time. “Logan, please.”
“What is it, honey?” he says, bitten lips still pressed to your pulse point. As you remain silent, he looks up at you, those big, brown eyes that you love so dearly almost completely dark now. “Do you want to call it a day?”
His question catches you off-guard. You cup his face, thumbs caressing his cheekbones, suddenly afraid that he might pull away from you. “No! Not at all. That’s- that’s not what I want at all, actually.”
“What do you want, then? You can tell me,” he kisses you on the lips, softly at first. What starts as nothing more than a sweet kiss turns into a needier one, his hard on poking you through your shorts. “Come on. Tell me, baby. What does my sweet girl want?”
“I want to suck you off, Logan,” you whisper as you latch your mouth onto his, and you can feel how he visibly tenses beneath you. His breath hitches in his throat when you grind your hips. “I really need it.”
From the very beginning of your relationship, you had made things crystal clear: you didn’t have much experience on this territory. For a man his age, he was totally understanding. He knew you had your own times, that for him to take you to bed would take longer. Truth be told, Logan was willing to go to the ends of the world for you. There was no use in forcing anything.
At present, the bulge amid his legs becomes even more noticeable as you get off his lap, playing with his belt. “Can I?” you ask him, amazed at how straightforward you’re being.
Logan stares at you, so far panting, lust glowing in his eyes. “Shit, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he mutters as he helps you undress him. His worn out jeans end up pooling around his ankles, and you locate yourself in between his legs.
You’re on your knees, hands folded in front of you. Suddenly, it hits you, the shame of it all. How badly you want him, how desperate you are to feel the weight of his cock on your tongue. How many nights you’ve dreamt of this moment, unable to stop that unbearable need of touching yourself every time you thought about pleasuring him.
That’s what you truly want. For him to use you.
“What’s wrong, princess? We’ve talked about this a lot of times. You know what to do,” you can’t help but stare at his crotch as you listen to him, and then he raises your chin with his finger, your lips parting unconsciously. You blink slowly at him, eyelashes fluttering together. At last, he seems to understand what you’re trying to tell him, and he raises his eyebrows, that cocky grin of his taking place where it belongs. “You want me to guide you, don’t you? Want me to tell you what to do? Know you like it when I go a bit off the rails.”
You moan at his words, squeezing your eyes shut and nuzzling your cheek up against his palm. Slick gathers in your panties as you push your thighs together. “Please. Tell me what to do.”
“Take it out,” he instructs you, and you do as you’re told. Grabbing him by the base, you pull his cock out of his briefs. He twitches in your hand, and he’s so, so incredibly big.
You stroke him once, testing the feeling. This you know how to do. You’ve given him hand jobs millions of times, although this one feels particularly different from the others.
He takes hold of your fist, applying a bit of pressure. “I’m sorry, baby. I think you got it all wrong. I’m the one who makes the calls here, okay?” he grunts, his brows knitted, and you only nod, salivating at the sight of his cock already leaking precum at the tip. Logan licks his lips, curling his hand around yours. “You do as I say. Now, stroke me. Nice. And. Slow,” he punctuates each of his words by moving both your hand and his in unison around his length. “That’s it, darling. You just need someone to boss you around from time to time, ain’t I right?”
One thing to know about Logan: he’s so full of himself on a daily basis, but he just gets worse in bed.
“My mouth,” you hover your lips over the head of his cock, all shiny and soft. He has let you go, both of his arms now flexed behind his head, as if he were appreciating how pathetic you must look on your knees, begging for him to allow you to taste him. “Let me.”
“Not yet,” his hips follow your tormenting pace, seeking the warmth that your skin radiates. He grits his teeth, biting his lower lip. You’ve no idea how a man so strong can become putty in your hands like this. “Greedy girl. I’m beginning to think you’ve set me up. Only a slut would get so worked up about having a cock in her mouth. What happened to my innocent girl? Gone with the wind, huh?”
“Please, Lo. I need it so bad,” you are whining, peppering his thighs with kisses. You inhale his musky scent, getting dizzy. “Give it to me. I’ll be good.”
Out of nowhere, Logan grabs a handful of your hair, forcing you to arch your back. He scrutinizes your face, studying your blissed out demeanor. “I don’t doubt that. I’m sure you’ll be good. Otherwise, we’ll keep on trying. We have all night, and you have a good memory, just need to put it to use,” as he taps your lower lip with his tip, you catch him smirking. He repeats that same motion until he has you shivering from the excitement of being stuffed. ”Show me how much you need it. Go easy on it at first, okay? Don’t want you choking beforehand.”
You’re more than happy to comply.
Your tongue darts out to lick at his head, enveloping it between your lips. The salty taste of his precum invades your tastebuds, and you moan as you trace the veins of his cock with the pad of your thumb. “Tastes so good, Lo,” your voice sounds distant, almost unrecognizable to your own ears.
“I know, bub. Such a nice fucking mouth, can’t believe you’ve never done this before. I guess you’re a natural,” shaky fingers place a strand of hair behind your ears, patting your head as if you were a dog in heat. “Do you feel like bobbing your head a little?” he asks you, and you prepare yourself, attaching your mouth to his head once again. “Good. That’s good.”
With that being said, Logan fists your hair once again and shoves your face down, his hard cock tickling your throat. Your whines and his rapid breaths are the only sounds to be heard in your bedroom. He grins as he takes in the sight of you. “Oh, sweetheart. You look so beautiful with your mouth stretched around me,” his index finger taps your cheek and he feels the outline of his own cock. “You know I can smell you, right? You’re fucking soaked, baby. Think you’ll leave a stain on the carpet? You’d clean it off with your tongue, wouldn’t you?”
You have no idea how he’s coming up with these things, but you’re far from annoyed. In fact, you’ve never been this wet. Your underwear must be ruined at this point, and you wish Logan would tell you to touch yourself.
After some minutes of bobbing your head up and down, he pulls you off his cock and you breathe through your mouth for the first time in a while. As you gasp for air, Logan kisses you, tasting himself. He massages the back of your neck, his cock throbbing between the two of you. “You tired?”
Your glossy eyes widen. Shaking your head, you go for his balls this time, sucking one of them while toying with the other. Logan buries his hands in your hair for what must be the hundredth time in the night, unable to stop himself. “F-fuck, that’s it. A pretty girl like you just gets what she needs,” he praises you, and you return to his length, taking as many inches as you can without hurting yourself. Tears shimmer in your eyes, yet you can’t bring yourself to care about that detail. You’re far too focused on Logan’s grunts and growls. “Keep that up and I’ll come. You heard me? You’re gonna make me fucking come, bub.”
His words ignite a fire inside you. You use your hands, your mouth, everything that you have to pleasure him. He’s getting closer and closer, thighs shaking when you pay special attention to his tip. Logan responds to each of your movements, and as you feel every coherent thought fly out the window, you try to take him all the way down your throat, breathing through your nose and swallowing around him. He cants his hips up, brutally fucking your mouth. Like a dog without a leash, Logan seems to get lost in the warmth that envelopes his cock, chasing his own release. “You’re such a good girl. My good girl. Nobody will fuck this mouth ever again. I’ll ruin you for any pathetic guy that tries to get in your pants. You’re fucking mine, darling. Oh, f-fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck-”
You’re met with his happy trail once he spills his hot load inside your mouth. He keeps you trapped there, his cock twitching and spamming through the aftershocks of his orgasm. You don’t think twice and swallow what he’s giving you. Some of his cum slips from your lips, falling directly onto the carpet. Even Logan seems surprised when he doesn’t stop coming.
He helps you stand up after a moment, kissing you as soon as he gets the chance. He licks into your mouth, squeezing the flesh of your hips. Logan lifts his eyebrows, relishing how cock-drunk you must look. “I think you nearly killed me. And that’s a lot to say coming from someone who cannot fucking die.”
You plaster a smile on your face, hugging his wide frame. “So, was I okay?”
His jaw goes slack, and he lowers his head to capture your lips in another kiss. “You were fantastic. I could easily get hard again just from thinking about it,” his fingers trace the buttons of your shirt, tugging at the fabric of it. “What if you let me focus on yourself for a while? You’ve already done enough, baby. Let me take care of you,” he rubs his hands on your thighs, reaching for your drenched panties. “Perhaps we could try something else today. That pussy’s begging to be fucked.”
dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! :)
#wolverine#the wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fic#wolverine smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#x men#x men movies#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#smut#james logan howlett#deadpool 3#wolverine x men#logan x reader#logan xmen#logan x you#logan james howlett#james howlett#logan wolverine#x men wolverine
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100% Whipped : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris
summary: lando is happy to do just about anything for you, which the other drivers are more than happy to remind lando about too
Lando looked around in confusion as sniggers came from around the room, his fellow drivers all looked at him in disbelief, many shaking their heads as he spoke once again.
“There are other things we can talk about,” Max told him, smirking across at Lando opposite him. “We don’t constantly just have to talk about your girlfriend you know.”
Lando’s brows furrowed in confusion as several others nodded in agreement with Max. It was a habit of his, and one he didn’t realise he had either, but the rest of the boys were all too aware of just how much Lando loved to talk about you, to anyone who listened.
They couldn’t help but smile at how fondly Lando spoke of you, the way his smile turned up and his eyes got brighter whenever the conversation was about you. As much as they loved knowing that Lando was happy, they didn’t need telling quite as much as they currently were.
“I don’t just talk about her,” Lando argued, but as the others rolled their eyes, Lando wasn’t quite so confident that he didn’t talk about you as much as they all suggested.
Although he would never admit just how much he adored you, Lando knew that he had been falling hard for you. He loved to gush about you and make sure that everyone else got to see what he saw in you, how kind, caring and funny you were.
The rest of the paddock knew that anyway, but Lando liked to make extra sure that was the case with all of his stories about you.
“Every time she’s not at a race you sit and complain that she’s not there and how much you need her,” Oscar spoke up, “she’s all we talk about on a race weekend.”
“Or when she is there, you refuse to let her out of your sight because you want to make sure that she’s alright,” George added, smirking across at Lando, “you don’t let her lift a finger.”
More and more stories came out as the boys all interjected with the moments that they’d experienced with Lando, seeing firsthand just how in love with you he was.
“I’m just being a good boyfriend,” Lando tried to argue once they eventually fell silent, but even Lando was beginning to realise that he went above and beyond, constantly.
“I think you know how she’s going to spend her day better than she does,” Daniel responded, unable to hold back his laughter. “You used to tell me every day exactly what she was up to, almost as if you knew where she was minute by minute.”
“Really?” Lando asked in surprise, not realising quite how much attention to detail he paid when it came to what you were doing.
“You don’t even realise that you’re doing it half the time.”
Lando’s stature shrunk, sinking down in his seat. “I promise that I’m not as whipped as you guys all probably think I am, it’s not that bad.”
“You are,” Carlos stated, sending Lando a knowing look, “but I guess most of the time it is quite sweet.”
“Aside from the fact that you make the rest of us look like terrible boyfriends,” Charles added.
Lando struggled to hold back his smile, although it wasn’t a competition, he knew that the two of you were a popular couple around the paddock. He felt like he was the standard, showing the others how to take care of your girlfriend properly and not care about what anyone else had to say about it.
“I wonder if she realises how whipped you are for her or whether she’s just used to it all by now,” Oscar spoke up, looking pensively across at Lando.
“I think Y/N is just as whipped for him as Lando is for her,” Daniel very quickly argued, “you should’ve heard some of the conversations we had about him when I was on the team.”
A smile emerged on Lando’s face as some of the boys nodded in agreement again. They were used to listening to you talk about Lando just as much, talking through how amazing his races were time after time as if they hadn’t been there to experience it themselves.
“Would you guys like me to stop talking about Y/N so much?” Lando asked them all.
The group felt quite guilty as Lando stared seriously across at them all. They all knew that he meant it, glancing between themselves as their heads all shook back across at him.
“We’re only messing with you buddy,” George assured him, tapping against his shoulders, “maybe we just don’t need to know every single last detail about her.”
Lando nodded, smiling back across at George. “I’m sure I can tone it down a little bit, the last thing I need is you guys all thinking that I’m whipped.”
“Mate, we all definitely know that you are though.”
He could try to deny it all he wanted, but the boys all knew what he was like. It was something in him that they were never going to change, but as such a popular member of the team, it meant a lot to all of them to see how happy he was with you.
“Don’t even try and deny it,” Max called out as Lando went to speak again, “wear it with pride, some people would kill to have the sort of relationship that the two of you have.”
“Do you really think that?”
“Of course,” Max smiled back across at him, “you know we’re always going to find something to tease you about, you’re still very much the baby of the grid to all of us.”
It didn’t matter how old Lando was, the boys were all very protective of him, and as much as they took every chance to make fun of him, they’d never let anyone else say a bad word about him.
“You just continue to do you,” Carlos smiled as he met Lando’s eyes, “some of these guys are never going to even get a girlfriend, so at least you’ve got that over them at least.”
“None of you can ever mention this to her,” Lando told them all, “do you know how embarrassed she be knowing that you guys see us as whipped for one another.”
Just like Lando, you were very aware of how whipped he was for you, but if anyone suggested that you were whipped for him, then you would categorically deny it. You knew how much he’d do for you though, savouring the feeling of Lando willingly doing absolutely anything to support you.
“We’ll keep it between us,” Oscar promised him, “unless she keeps stealing the chocolate I keep in the garage for once the races are finished. If that carries on, I’m making no promises.”
“I’ll buy you more,” Lando assured him, “just don’t tell her how whipped I am, or how whipped you guys seem to think that I might be.”
“Just admit it,” Charles laughed, brushing a hand through his hair. “Admit that you’re whipped for her, it’s not like we don’t already know it already.”
“Will you leave me alone if I say it?” Lando asked them all.
“We promise to leave you alone for the rest of the night.”
“Fine, I am 100% whipped for my girlfriend.”
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 reaction#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#lando norris drabble#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#lando norris x reader#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula one#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you#f1 fic
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Eddie owns a record store, gets to talk about music everyday. Life is good. Great, actually.
He's consolidating the Christian rock section on a quiet Wednesday morning when it happens. A man with swoopy dark hair, tight dark blue jeans, and a plum Member's Only jacket walks in, and doesn't take his Ray Bans off even once he's solidly inside.
Eddie is awestruck. This dude is gorgeous. Heart stopping. He watches him browse in quiet astonishment, unable to say anything until he blurts, "Can I help you find something?"
The man smiles--Eddie's heart stops--and he says, "Nah, just browsing. Your sign caught my eye."
And he's still not quite with the program, the rich honey of the man's voice taking him totally by surprise. "Ah, oh, it did?" He manages after a few long beats. "Painted it myself."
"No shit? It's great."
"Thanks, man. I also think it's some of my finest work."
The guy laughs. "How can I know unless I see some of your other pieces?"
Eddie's face heats, but he's never been known for having good impulse control. "Maybe you'll get lucky."
Spots of pink bloom on the man's cheeks and the tips of his ears. "And here I was, thinking I was getting special treatment."
Eddie cocks his head, smiles big. "Well, the day's still young." It's so risky and stupid; no way this guy is queer, but he grins at Eddie, laughs a little too.
"That right? Well, tell me your latest recommendations."
"For you?" Eddie eyes him up and down. "Wham!"
The guy's laugh is warm and rich and Eddie wants to drown in it. "Big of you to say for a someone who's only listened to Enter Sandman for the last four months."
Eddie cackles, points a be-ringed finger. "It's a good song! A great record."
"Hey, I've got no problem with Metallica. I just don't think you should be casting aspersions on Wham!."
"Casting aspersions, do you have a word of the day calendar or some shit?"
"No! It's toilet paper."
Their snickers grow until they're both hysterical, needing to lean against a display to stay upright.
It's like he's living in a dream, hitting it off with a beautiful man who just happened to stumble into his store. They catch their breath and Eddie uses the time to grab a record off a nearby shelf.
"Here," he says. "Try this."
"Joni Mitchell?"
"Don't tell me, Wham! fan, that you're too cool for Joni."
"Nah, she's my best friend's favorite. How much do I owe you?"
"On the house," Eddie shrugs.
"Shit, that's generous. Thanks, man. Now, about your art--" He glances at the shiny watch on his wrist. "Fuck, is it really 3:15? Goddamnit, I gotta get going."
And Eddie wants to call him back, doesn't want this dream encounter to end, but he's dashing to the door--
And just like that, the man is gone, the only evidence it ever happened the lingering chime of the bell over the door.
The bell clatters again, and his head wrenches up hard enough it hurts his neck.
"Was that Steve Harrington?" the customer shrieks.
"No," he scoffs. Except. Except. The hair and the clothes and sunglasses and the face and his lips--
"No!?" He feels the way his eyes have gone wide with panic. He didn't just flirt with Steve Harrington. Of course not. Not ever. He would've recognized--
He runs to the racks of magazines in front of the register, grabbing the latest issue of People. The cover features a glossy, polished photo of the man who just left the store. The one who had the highest grossing movie of the summer alongside his co-star, Julia Roberts. The one who, according to the article within, is in Chicago right now shooting a new movie. The one who Eddie flirted with. The one who flirted back.
He groans and covers his face with his hands. At least he'll never see Steve Harrington again.
---
Harrington comes back.
The second time, he's wearing a jewel blue polo and fitted slacks, Ray Bans nowhere to be seen.
"Got anymore recommendations?" Steve asks.
"What?" Eddie's still trying to accept that Harrington came back.
"I finished Joni. It was good. Recommend something else for me."
Fully with the program, he reaches to the rack behind him, handing the vinyl to Steve without ever taking his eyes off him.
"Seriously?" Steve deadpans.
"Tell me you don't deserve it after last time."
Steve studies the cover of Metallica, a complicated look on his face. "Fine, but you have to listen to the album George Michael released last year."
He mimics getting shot in the heart. "After my magnanimous first suggestion, you dare to punish me with Freedom?"
"Think of it more as an opportunity."
"To regret every decision I've ever made?"
"To expand your musical horizons."
Eddie rolls his eyes. "Fiiiine. It's a deal."
Steve beams. "Good! Ring me up."
And Eddie, he'd comp it again, but Steve gives him this look that tells him not to try it.
As they pass the magazine racks, Eddie points at one featuring Steve on the cover. "That thing you wore to the Vanity Fair party last month was hideous."
Steve snorts, then laughs. "Thanks. My stylist decided to go for something--"
"--terrible?--"
"Avant garde."
"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?"
Steve pays, throws Eddie one last smile, "next time?"
Eddie nods, already certain this time is the last one.
---
He keeps coming back.
Eddie tries not to read into it.
Steve is straight, famously has a girlfriend. former horror movie child star turned cinema wunderkind, Nancy Wheeler. They're always on the covers of the tabloids, in ever more improbable stories about affairs and secret babies and french countryside weddings.
But he keeps coming back. And eventually, they grab dinner. And that dinner becomes lunches, movies, clubs, concerts. Eddie's in paparazzi photos, and there's no speculation about their relationship. Steve has a girlfriend.
But sometimes. Sometimes Steve will rest his hand on Eddie's nape, his lower back, let it linger. He'll trace a finger down the tattoos on Eddie's forearms or the patches of his battle vest. He'll lean too close when they talk, unafraid to press their bodies together. And he catches Steve's eyes on his mouth more than once, his pupils wide.
Over the next few weeks, Steve's gaze on Eddie's mouth gets hotter, his looks longer, and it's killing him. All he wants to do, all he ever wants to do, is close the distance between them, appease the gnawing beast of desire in his chest.
But Steve has a girlfriend.
They don't talk about her, not even when he knows all about Steve's best friend, Robin, and the gang of kids who adopted him, or Joyce and Hopper, his surrogate parents. Never Nancy.
He tries not to read into it.
---
They're supposed to meet for dinner. Steve scored reservations at a trendy new restaurant, but Eddie's late. Astronomically, horrifically late. It's pouring rain, it takes fifteen minutes to get a cab, traffic is a nightmare.
Out of patience and time, he decides to run the last few blocks to the restaurant. By the time he reaches the building, he's soaked to the bone, spluttering harsh breaths through mouthfuls of rain.
Steve is walking in the opposite direction, hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat.
"Steve?" He calls.
He turns and this is the first time Eddie's seen him angry. "You're late," Steve's eyes rake over him, and his face softens in an instant. He takes Eddie's wrist, leads him into an alley where the buildings are close enough to block some of the rain.
"What happened?"
"Traffic."
Steve's gaze go all soft and gentle, and Eddie's knees buckle a little. "You look like a drowned rat."
"Yeah, well." Eddie scoffs. "We can't all be beautiful movie stars."
"You're more beautiful than I could ever be, even soaking wet."
He shakes his head, ignoring the cascade of butterflies; Steve shouldn't say things like that. His vigorous movement sends wet strands of hair slapping him in the face.
Steve reaches out, softly brushes it back.
Eddie stops breathing.
Steve closes the distance between them.
What a thing, to be kissed by Steve Harrington. What a terrible, glorious thing.
He breaks it fast, face red, can't catch his breath. "Nancy," is all he can say.
"Nancy?"
"You have a girlfriend."
Steve's face scrunches. "She's not my girlfriend."
Eddie's mouth drops. "Yes, she is." They went to the Oscars together.
"Eddie." Steve takes a few steps back. "Eddie. I'm gay."
He laughs, an ugly honking thing. "C'mon. What could she possibly get out of that?"
Steve's eyes widen, eyebrows reaching his hairline, mouth pursed in a bitchy line. It takes Eddie a minute but, "Ohhhhh. So, it's all--?"
"It was the best way."
"But you're--?"
"I thought you clocked me immediately! Wham!???"
"That was because of the jacket!"
"Have you ever met a straight man who dresses like I do and likes George Michael??"
"That describes five dudes I see a day!"
"And you thought they were straight??"
Eddie stares into the middle distance, replaying some of those interactions, and--"Huh. Okay. I get hit on at work waaay more than I realized."
"For fuck's sake, Eddie!" He's shaking his head, but Eddie sees the way the corners of his mouth shake with suppressed laughter.
"I'm sorry! You have a very public straight relationship!"
Steve giggles, pulls Eddie close. "Is this okay?"
"So okay."
"You do like me back?"
"Are you kidding! Thought I was going insane, how much I want you."
"And now?"
"Come back to my place?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
And Eddie, he's seen Steve playing at love dozens of times, but this--right here, in a soggy, smelly alley where they're both soaking wet--it's more perfect than any movie.
#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#ficlet#fluff#romcom#meet cute#mutual pining#misunderstandings#banter#actor steve harrington#regular guy eddie munson#nancy and steve have a pr relationship#fake dating#nancy and steve beard for each other#steve thinks eddie knows he's gay#eddie does NOT#hijinks#didn't know how to work this in but it's ronance
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