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badwitch-if · 7 months ago

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OG DEMO + AU DEMO

**a note about the demo that won the vote**

Magic is all too real and witches reign supreme.

This is a story of excess & indulgence. Luxury & depravity. Lust & love. Horror & debauchery.

But mostly it's a story of rediscovering your inner witch.

Bad Witch is set in a matriarchal, gothic universe eerily similar to our own, where magic runs the world. And at its core, it is a love letter to the incredibly strong and vibrant friendships that we forge in our youth, and how they ultimately shape the people we become.

Witxhes dominate the upper echelons of society, and magic has seeped into every facet of day-to-day life, for witches and humans alike. Humans were relegated to a lower class of living and as witches tend to be quite opulent & over indulgent [and more often than not revelling in their own personal vices], the bougie Season of the Witch began. Witching Society flourished and quickly overtook over the world, trickling down to influence even those without magic.

SO WILL YOU BE A BAD WITCH, OR A GOOD WITCH?

You were born to one of the most ancient and thus, important witching families; the only child of a famous mother and an even more infamous grandmother. Your ancestors were among the very first witches to lead the revolution, desperate to create a world where their children would never again die by human hands.

Your childhood was rather lonely and spent under the tutelage of the worlds best witches and academics, whilst your mother did her best to ignore your existence whenever it didn’t directly benefit her. And so years later you would often joke that your life really began once you were accepted into Ariadne Academy, the premiere school for exceptionally gifted Witxhes.

You were placed in a coven with eight of your peers; girls and boys who would quickly become your family, until it was almost like you couldn’t remember a time before them. They shared your all-consuming hunger for magic and knowledge and experiences, traits that made your coven [nicknamed the Silverlakers] an unstoppable force within the Demonhall arena. Everything was going so perfectly until it suddenly burned down around you, leaving your coven a husk of its former self.

Aaand this is currently where the stories splinter off.

OG DEMO — In the OG demo, your coven is still somewhat intact. MC’s feelings towards them may or may not have changed, but on the whole, the Silverlakers are still functioning as the overachieving badasses they were at the academy. They’re still your best friends, your soulmates, your lovers. You love them and they most definitely love you — it’s just one big lovefest.

As a master alchemist you tediously work through trials of your newest potion while still coasting off the success of your last serum, the wildly popular Moon Juice. The story focuses on the unnaturally strong bond that exists between the remaining Silverlakers, and the powerful magic you’ve wrought because of that. The incredibly deep but complicated friendships that you built are maintained to this day, and still just as co-dependent... or have they been making you feel stifled or claustrophobic?

You can choose how your relationship with Ash progressed post-breakup. Was it messy and dramatic, or did you keep going back to them, again and again? Have you and Ori been just the bestest friends all this time, or have things gotten a bit awkward?

AU DEMO — In the AU demo, your coven was broken following the loss of one of your own. You all went your own ways and everything that you shared was left by the wayside. You’ve spent the better part of a decade running away from your Silver Lake family, the only real home you ever knew. But now, against all of your better judgements, your returning to York. Only for a few days, of course. A couple weeks, tops.

You haven’t returned since you absconded after graduation, when you used a somewhat controversial but entirely contrived excuse for your disappearance. And as if The Fates themselves had seen to it, you once again find yourself thrown together with the other witches formerly known as Silverlakers. Their reactions to your return are not at all what you had expected, and you’re left second-guessing what actually happened all those years ago.

No matter how deep of a rift was left between your coven, Ori was the one who really refused to give up on you. In their very unique way, they practically strong-armed you into maintaining some kind of contact. Of all your former covenmates, you are hands down closest to Ori. Your breakup with Ash, no matter how it was done, was shocking and cut deep. You can choose whether to stand by your past actions or try to make amends with your first love.

Both the OG & AU stories will feature opportunities to reconnect with: the former childhood friend turned academy rival; as well as the young professor from your university years. And despite their shorter and more mysterious descriptions, they are both main RO’s, along with Ash & Ori.

Will you try to repair the broken connections plaguing your coven, or forge a brand new path? Will you decide to confront the nightmares of your past face on in the Demonhall arena, or continue to ignore the literal demons that chase you?

TW/CW: violent & horrific imagery; explicit language; explicit sex scenes (with options to fade to black); misandry (within context of the story); mentions of blood/gore; child abuse (past tense against MC); very questionable magic usage; frequent scenes where NPCs are intoxicated, under the spell of drugs or magic, as well as just as many options for MC to imbibe; elder abuse; voluntary magical torture

~ Fully customisable character — you can currently play as a woman, man, or non-binary person; straight, gay, or bisexual. Customise your character's personality, style and how they reacted in major moments of their life leading up to present events,

~ Choose how to react to your current coven dynamics — fight to save your soulmates & strengthen your long-established bonds, or play around on greener pastures with other witches

~Experience the Witch's Journey through the Major Arcana – but will your MC make it to the final tarot reading?

~ Meet your familiar and decide which form it takes, with your familiar's animal impacting the story

~ Set up a cozy, witchy corner to call your own! A few options include a reclaimed lighthouse, luxurious penthouse in the sky, and a secluded cabin in the woods

~ Continue to cross sexual conquests off your list of Lovers to Bed, or get serious and pursue a more serious connection. There are currently 4.5 love interests [all gender variable] as well as an optional poly route. I'm also considering bringing back a character who was cut from the OG story... TBD!

~ Decide what happened to MC's relationship with Ash, in the years since graduation. Have they drifted apart while leading separate lives, or have they been on-and-off for the better part of a decade?

~ Get answers & closure by chasing down ghosts from your past. Give yourself over to the demons in your past, or fight to find a balance between your life and the monsters at the gate.

~ Explore the ever-changing hellscapes of Demonhall and confront your demons, or keep those traumatic memories in the past where they belong

~ But above all else, choose which path your character takes going forward. Chase your dreams and loves, or turn your back, light it up & watch the world burn around you.

During your time at Ariadne Academy, rumours swirled nonstop about your coven.

You got along too well.

You loved each other too hard.

Some people said you were a bunch of weirdos, while others whispered [a little too loudly] that all of your parents had conspired together, bribing the Witches Council to put you all together in one coven. But back then you couldn't give a shit about anyone or anything outside your Silver Lake home.

You found your first love within your coven, as well as seven other soulmates. And for a long time, that was all you needed.

☆ Elijah Akos {m}

☆ Suki Aoki {f}

♡ Aisling Casablanca {f} // Asher Casablanca {m}

♡ Oriana Helyr {f} // Orion Helyr {m}

☆ Belladonna Humphrey {f}

☆ Endora Stills {f}

☆ Hazel Trout {f} — Deceased

☆ Bren Wylder {nb}

The grandiose and horrifying Demonhall is a favourite pastime for Witches young and old. Two opposing covens enter the arena (or as it's lovingly called by fans, the Demon Dome) and are sealed inside. Usually a timer is set for 6 hours, but some exhibition games run a 'last Witch standing' simulator, that can go on for days.

At the core of every Demonhall arena lies it's true power, a demonstone. The crystalized heart of a demon powers and creates unique and dangerous environments for covens to progress through. Whether it's a futuristic, neon playground; the dilapidated ruins of Titans; or a much too lifelike version of the floor is lava, each unique setting has been randomly and lovingly crafted by the demonstone.

Just as each demon is unique and come with their specific set of baggage challenges, so do their corresponding arenas. Some are more manipulative in luring you into their traps, while others don't waste time in throwing everything they've got at you.

The object of the game, quite simply, is to challenge & toss opposing witches out of the match, using whatever spells & curses, or hexes & charms you keep in your arsenal. All while avoiding the real terror of the Demonhall, the demon itself.

For over a decade, your life revolved around Demonhall. You were the Lead for your coven, meaning you often bore the brunt of whatever the demonstone was hurtling at you. Your Silver Lake coven dominated the amateur Demonhall circuit for the better part of a decade. You and your covemates were elevated to a level of celebrity that few others at Ariadne Academy could relate to, as you were splashed across dozens of magazine covers before you were 18.

You planned your life around your obsession and love of the game, and as your graduation approached, you fielded dozens of offers to play for top-tier professional teams. But then... the unexpected happened during a match and you lost a member of your coven.

☆The First Love☆ ...& Ash's playlist

Aisling Casablanca {f} // Asher Casablanca {m}, 31

Ash was your first love. You dated for several years during your time at Ariadne Academy. You grew up together in your Silver Lake cottage and soon after you met, you found it hard to deny your teenage crush.

You bonded over a mutual (rather mad) obsession with Demonhall, and it didn't take long for that bond to translate onto the arena. The Silver Lake Demonhall coven dominated the competition, thanks in large part to the connection you shared with Ash.

You made plans together to follow your passions after graduation, and even courted the interest of several top-tier professional clubs. They wanted you both, and were willing to restructure their teams around you & Ash.

But life happened, and you surprised everyone when you suddenly broke things off with Ash and the Demonhall teams. Instead you followed a secondary love and traveled across the world in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries.

In the decade that you've been working out in the field, Ash has been named Demonhall MVP for three years in a row. Their legions of adoring fans have only multiplied. Is there room for you in their life nowadays, or is it truly too late?

☆The Best Friend☆ ...& Ori's playlist

Oriana Helyr {f} // Orion Helyr {m}, 30

Ori has been your longest and closest friend. No matter what your relationship was like with the rest of the coven, you could always count on Ori having your back. And sometimes being a shoulder to cry on, during the rockier parts of your relationship with Ash. In a way, it's always felt like the three of you had your own kind of connection, but at times, that could put Ori in the middle of your shit with Ash.

Ori is a highly sought after Master Architect, one of only two in the country. They’re instrumental to the buildings integrity and the future success of it’s residences. Ori often spends weeks onsite, crafting intricate enchantments around the bones of the structure, ensuring not only structural safety but doing everything in their power to position them for prosperity.

There's never been any fronts or facades with Ori, just transparent (sometimes brutal) honesty. You've never had to pretend around them and you might even be your truest self when you're with them. And then the two of you would stay up all night, talking and watching movies, and polishing off copious amounts of alcohol. In fact, many of those nights ended up serving as inspiration for your new experimental potion, a cure-all hangover draught.

In the years since the academy, Ori has tracked you down across the globe too many times to count. It always seemed like they had some magical way of knowing when your life was going to shit and they'd spontaneously turn up with boxes of wine & chocolate, immediately taking over your kitchen to cook up something utterly delicious

☆The Lifelong Rival☆ ...& Poe's playlist

Viridian ‘Poe’ Black {f/m}, 31

Poe was one of your very first friends, long before the academy. Your mothers ran in the same high society circles and so you were often left to your own devices. For Poe that usually meant running off into the woods to scout for berries and beasts, or tirelessly watching or reading up on anything to do with Demonhall. And in fact decades later, you've still never met anyone as obsessed with the game as them. Even as a kid, Poe was haughty and overtly snobby; they always knew exactly what and who they liked, and rarely strayed outside the lines.

But for some reason or another, you were someone they happily tolerated and actually seemed to like. Much to their delight their Demonhall fanaticism eventually infected you as well, and you spent countless hours debating the various forms, methods, and positions of the beautiful but deadly game. The two of you would often daydream about your future life at Ariadne Academy, and their eyes lit up with unabashed glee when they spoke of how together, you would bring about a new era of Demonhall. But then came the week before coven placements. And even after all of their extensive testing, you & Poe weren't placed together.

After that Poe very rarely spoke to you and altogether stopped responding to your many messages over the years, and just like that, the delicate friendship you once shared was snuffed out. And while they'd always been sarcastic and biting, that had rarely been directed towards you. Until you were put in competition, both academically and in the Demonhall arena, and then you were introduced to an entirely different side of Poe. The one that knew your weaknesses and just when to exploit them, who seemed to take a particular happiness from your defeat.

☆The One That Got Away☆

Julia St. James {f} // Julian St. James {m}

Jules is the youngest of nine children and grew up in Bilbao, Spain. They were generally spoiled as a child, doted on by all of their siblings, aunts and uncles. They could never want for tutors or toys or courtiers, but it was all rather tiresome.

They would later travel the continent as a young apprentice of a new philosophy, but they were never alone; always in the company of their cousins, Vix and Maz. Jules developed a deep appreciation for the fine arts and very delicious things during this time away from home.

Jules has now perfected the balancing act, living in both worlds. They work tirelessly as a professor of Theological Witchcraft but lately they've been feeling the pull to leave the classroom and get back out into the world.

☆ ... ☆

#if #interactive fiction #hosted games #choicescript #interactive novel #witches #choice of games #magic #wip #if wip #badwitch #badwitch if #if: wip #if: fyi

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bymarara · 7 months ago

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Will and the Boys Don't Cry.

Remember the picture when we were first shown Will on his birthday? In case anyone hasn't noticed, there were headphones in the picture and let's think, who else was wearing headphones and under what circumstances? Uh, Max! Max wore them so that she wouldn't fall under the full influence of Vecna and become his victim, music helped her so called survival.

Now let's get to why Will carries them around. I have two suggestions.

Everyone on the team has headphones now just in case Vecna decides to face someone.

Will is scared. Will himself realizes that he can feel Vecna's presence, in addition he will probably hear him, his voice and his thoughts, which will be very frightening to Byers. Because of the fear, he may choose his favorite song and walk around with headphones on at all times, so that if anything happens, he won't be influenced by Vekna and Vekna won't take over Will's mind. I also think that there will be a similar situation as with Lumax, that Mike will have to turn on these headphones in case of anything, I think Will will warn him alone about it all, thus trusting Mike.

Now something I've been thinking about very, very hard. Most people, and I think or thought that Will's song would be “Should I Stay or Should I Go”, but if you notice the details, you can see the poster in Will's room! “Boys don't cry”, this song references Will in a lot of ways, and if it's in season 5 in his headphones, it will be very symbolic, and will show the meaning of everything we've seen.

Let's take Max as an example. She has “Running Up That Hill” in her headphones. The lines from the song literally refer to what Max is feeling and it also shows how she feels about Billy and how she regrets what happened at the end of season 3 and how she would take it all back. The chorus from her song, literally speaks to Max's morale and what she wants. -And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building. If I only could, oh These lines literally refer to the fact that if Max had known what would happen, she would not have stood still, but would have tried to help her half-brother. She would have been ready even for the same death as her brother, as long as he did not die. Also, there are very interesting lines like.

“You don't want to hurt me,but see how deep the bullet lies.” which refers to their relationship while Billy was alive. The guy hurt his sister, which she hasn't forgotten, and that deep down inside of her, she wished him dead inside of her, which she now regrets.

What about Will? I know most people have already figured this out, but for those who haven't and don't know the context - this song is about the inner thoughts that guys have when they're going through an unpleasant/transitional moment in their lives. It's also popular in the LGBT+ community. Let's go through the parts that I find most interesting and start from the beginning. -I would say I'm sorry, If I thought that it would change your mind. But I know that this time, I have said too much. Somehow it reminds me a lot of Will helping Mike with his relationship with Al, while ignoring his feelings and even confessing his feelings while hiding under his sisters name. Also, I think there's a season five reference here. I mean, Will could talk about the painting and the speech, but not say what he meant about his feelings! And the lines “I would say I'm sorry if I thought that it would change your mind.” show that Mike could have left with some anger and it left a mark on Will and that he can't even apologize now, and that apologizing won't change anything. (Yes, I know I sound creepy, please.) Now let's get to the chorus. -I tried to laugh about it,

Cover it all up with lies. I tried to laugh about it, Hiding the tears in my eyes. Cause boys don't cry. Boys don't cry. Sounds like Will's confession to Mike to me. He's not showing his real feelings, he's hiding everything under the “Al” mask. and underneath the mask, he keeps his feelings hidden, not showing them. He himself, quietly crying, quietly suffering, realizing for himself that his feelings will never be reciprocated, that he will have to live with it and come to terms with it, and he buries it all by himself and tries to cope with it all by himself. -I would tell you, That I loved you, If I thought that you would stay. But I know that it's no use, That you've already, Gone away… Again he says that he has buried all his hopes and feelings, he sees Mike pulling away from him and as if he is walking away from him, so talking about feelings, about declarations of love is useless in his opinion. Literally the whole song shows Will, shows a guy who in his opinion has already missed his chance, he realizes that he can't change anything and hides himself and his feelings only deeper into himself.

I hope that Will will have this song in season 5, but I will also say that there is a possibility that in case of anything, Mike can play this song, so much in this song refers to Mike.

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profounddefendorcrusade-blog · 6 months ago

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Clover's personality (in-depth)

This thing turned out way longer than intended. As promised, I wrote my opinions in regards to Clover's mbti; I also wanted to include the enneagram but figured it would be too much, so I'll do that separaretly. For those who wanna get straight to the point, just scroll to the end of the post for a pic of the functions I think Clover has. But if you want more details, read the whole thing. Probably not many people will wanna do that, but I had fun, lol. Please excuse me for nerding out

Analysis

Even before they got into the Underground, Clover thought to themselves "Ok, this is a dangerous mountain and I ain't coming back, I'm probably gonna die and therefore not live to see the rest of my life play out BUT I'm gonna follow my values anyway. They're worth the risk." To me, right off the bat, that's Fi over Ti (aka inner values and morals over inner facts and logic).

I've done some research on this stuff and found out how "Fi knows the value of something not by analyzing it but by feeling it deep inside themselves that it is how it should be" Ti has to be as objective as possible, Fi doesn't. So I sat down and thought about how exactly Clover approached situations.

I feel like their main reasoning for being in the Underground were their inner values and beliefs of finding out what happened to the children. That's why I'd say they're an introvert rather than an extrovert (it's not because they're quiet and reserved, although they are, but because Clover's inner world affects their outer world). Now, both Ti and Fi look inward, and those inner thoughts and feelings affect how they interact with the external world. The real question is: is Clover objective enough to be considered a dominant Ti user?

We can see in the Vengeance route that Clover is stubborn with their beliefs and refuses to look at things from a more... logical POV: "Asgore killed five humans. Is it fair to wipe out every other monster in my way who gives me even the slightest reason to do it?" Martlet was the only exception because she was the only one who had tried to be nice and understanding. Clover's dark side is that they're tunnel-visioned and see morality as black and white (don't look deeper as to WHY the monsters do what they do), and blindly follow their own beliefs over what objectively makes sense. Just like Ceroba, who I'm positive is a feeler (she only considers how she felt about Chujin and not how skilled of an engineer he actually was, even when there's clear proof he wasn't the best at his job).

Objectively, it's not fair to kill so many monsters after only five humans were killed. If Clover wanted fair vengeance, they would have stopped after five monsters were killed. But no. According to Clover's own logic, everyone morally imperfect, everyone who's hurt them, who tried to hurt them, or messed up somehow, must die. So, Clover isn't thinking about what makes sense; they're thinking about what makes sense to THEM, and stubbornly hold onto that till the end (again, like Ceroba), even after Martlet's warnings. She says how the Royal Guard will be after them.

The logical (T) thing to do would be to STOP before things become even messier, but once again, no. Clover doesn't care about the consequences, only fulfilling their mission that is driven by their own set of values. No matter which route you choose, you will be presented with Clover's own version of what "justice" means. It's not the objective truth, it's not what's the logical thing to do; they follow their own framework based on their (our) choices.

"If unhealthy INFPs are dealing with threatened values or viewpoints that oppose their own, they can go the other way and imagine that others are all corrupt, thinking badly of them, and deluded. They may see themselves as the only people who see “the truth”, or the only people who really care to make a difference in the world. They can become especially harsh and critical of others and take on a martyr role, gradually secluding themselves from other people". - this feels like geno Clover; they thought they were the hero but they were playing the villain all along

Now that I think about it, the logical thing to do, the one that makes the most sense, would be never to have entered Mt. Ebott in the first place. And if vengeance was what Clover wanted to do, it is fair and makes objective sense to kill only five monsters (since that's how many humans died). But as explained, Clover didn't follow that logical conclusion, but rather their own twisted sense of justice. The same goes for neutral. It's Clover who chooses who gets to live and who gets to die based on their own beliefs and feelings, which are not backed up by facts. Everything they do they do because they themselves feel like it should be done. They are the one who decide who gets to live and who doesn't based on their own opinion/how severe they think the misdeed of the final boss is. This counts for the regular monsters who attack them, too; again, THEIR own subjective decision.

For example, they might see Dalv's actions as acceptable/forgiveable and spare him, but not Starlo's and kill him. Objectively, both characters are messy in their own way, but Clover gets to be the "judge" and decide their fate, not objectively looking at the situation, but subjectively. In short, according to them, Dalv may deserve to live, but not Starlo.

And even if they're a dominant Ti user, which I don't think they are, Clover is more past and future-oriented than present-oriented (N over S). As mentioned, they thought about how much they'd risk by going down Mt. Ebott (potentially dying, and definitely never seeing the surface ever again, or their family) but they followed their heart's desires; to them, morals and ethics (their own morals and ethics) were more important than what the more logical thing to do was (stay on the surface where it's safe).

In other words, they could already "predict" what would happen in the future, while in the present moment (the beginning of the journey).

And right before sacrificing their soul in pacifist, they think about how their death would affect ALL the monsters in the future, whether they had directly met and befriended them or not, even though they wouldn't be there to see it.

Clover seems to be able to easily move between the past, present and future, unlike sensors, who are mainly in the present moment (this is what I've heard somewhere at some point and remembered it, dunno how true it is). They can easily recall the past, and what they remember are things that moved them on the inside.

I've heard some of my friends say that Clover's character arc was to become a kinder person (develop their Fe), which, honestly, I don't think is the case. They simply acted on their inner views of what justice truly means, without further analyzing whatever they believed justice to be.

In pacifist, they're naturally selfless and kind and forgiving: a bit of a prankster, but they're one of "the best souls" according to Martlet. Just look at the ACT options that they used to befriend monsters. Quietly listens to Decibat, offers Dalv a handshake (and friendship), easily forgives Martlet, Starlo, and even Ceroba (+ gives her a hug), endures so many hardships yet keeps their heart pure and selfless.

They were always driven by something bigger than themselves (like Chujin, who I also think is a N user).

ISTPs are more adventurous and independent and flexible and focused on current problems in the present moment; Clover has been future-oriented from the start; they depended on Toriel to take care of them, and didn't try to immediately "adapt" to the monster world. Their 1st reaction was to stay safe and cozy. ESTJs (yeah, at some point I thought Clover could be one) are more "ruthless" in their pursuits, they "force" others to adopt their inner values. Clover doesn't do this in any route; they simply act upon their own beliefs, but aren't demanding that other monsters to have those same beliefs.

That's why I think they're an INFP.

Functions

Fi (dominant) – "If something goes against their moral code, they will not go through with it." It went against Clover’s moral code to spare monsters in genocide and abort the mission, so they didn’t, regardless of Martlet’s warnings.

"Fi dominants are inclined to speak up against beliefs or actions that go against their personal values or express disapproval of certain behaviors." I can't find the screenshot, but in the Mines, if you interact with the character who's in the same room as one of the puzzles, Clover will find out how that character pulled a prank on that guy who later got a promotion in the pacifist end credits (I need to reply the game to find the screenshot). But basically Clover was upset that their own morals weren't met and gave them a "disapproving look" or smth

"Ti dominants most often feel compelled to speak out when people are acting inconsistent (ie: contradicting themselves) or when people are being illogical from the Ti user’s perspective." I think Clover reacted to the above situation as a Fi user

"Unlike Fe users, Fi users are very blunt and direct. Fi and Te creates a person who is brutally honest about their opinions and feelings. If they don’t like a person, they will let that person know." Not a person in this case, but an example of this are the options we get for Martlet's questionnaire. Clover will have no problem honestly giving her the lowest scores for both questions; we also also get the chance to honestly tell Ceroba that we're not into Starlo's training. There are these cases where they're direct as well:

...and blunt:

they would have given at least a smile or a thumbs up, but no, their honest opinion is their honest opinion

"They appear cold and withdrawn, but tend to warm up as they get to know a person."

Ne (auxiliary) – "Ne views a situation from multiple angles and motivations" I feel like this is best seen in pacifist; this is exactly why Clover decided to give up their soul in the end; they saw all the motivations of the monsters, from many different angles. On the flip side, in the vengeance route, it’s the complete opposite situation: Clover only looks at things from their own pov, completely disregarding others. That’s the thing about the INFP dark side: INFPs become "disillusioned or stuck in their ways." This 100% describes Clover at their worst: stuck in their ways is already explained, while we can say they were disillusioned when even Martlet turned against them/gave up on them (in Genocide). That was enough of a reason for Clover not to feel bad about finishing her off. They never liked her, but they definitely liked her more than anyone else, so I’d say it counts.

"Creative, open-minded, and able to think outside the box" We can say Clover’s creative when they build Axis’ robot companion, solved the two puzzles in the Mines, they’re also most likely into role-playing just like Starlo, based on their clothes (and they seemed into the whole larping thing with him), and how they seem to be into drawing; open-minded, definitely (Clover with everyone; the pacifist route in a nutshell); able to think outside the box (this goes hand in hand with them being creative: I forgot to mention the many creative ways they found to befriend monsters)

"Ne lives in the present like Se does but makes connections to past and future." Imo, this is exactly what Clover does (their sacrifice in the future, and all the things other monsters had said to them in the past; however, they DO interact with the present world at the same time. This is what I meant when I mentioned how they "jump from and connect all 3")

Si (tertiary) – "happy in their comfort zone" Is this Clover? Yeah. Initially, this was their "default" reaction/behavior: with Toriel. They subconsciously became more independent thanks to good old Flowey. As I said, their values led them to take the risk and come into the Underground in the first place, not adventure/excitement (the way I see it). Were they also seeking the truth? Yeah again, they wanted to know the truth behind the whole situation, but I think it had more to do with how they had found the fact that no other humans bothered to look for the kids immoral.

"Si users may draw on their past experiences to guide their present actions and decisions" Example, how the detailed lines they remembered everyone said in true pacifist, influenced them to make the decision to die in the present moment. Or when they asked Ceroba if she would date Starlo, after hearing and remembering Crestina mention his crush on her beforehand, wanting to set them up.

"Si users have a strong memory for past experiences and details" Yep, explained above. Also, dunno if this counts as noticing details, but we can make them beat the Shufflers’ game with ease.

"Si users are typically practical and realistic in their approach to solving problems" The Snowdin mini-quests come to mind (although they use past information here too to figure out what each character needs to be helped). Also, how they fixed the elevator by using a pickaxe (most practical & realistic choice). They’re also pretty rational while dealing with Guardener, and in general, while dealing with enemies.

Te (inferior) – I guess this is why I suspected they could be an ESTJ.

"seen as leaders" By everyone.

"Come up with ideas quickly" Pretty much throughout the game. They’re more low-key about this than ESTJs though.

"Ruthlss and domineering" This is them in vengeance route

"Extraverted Thinkers recognize the emotional content, but then they set it aside to focus on the facts" I feel like this inferior function of theirs is mostly seen in flawed pacifist. They recognized Ceroba’s emotional situation, but chose to be fair and just instead.

"Te users are logical" Recognizing the dangers of the Underground and deciding to stay with Toriel. We can also say it makes sense that Clover attacked those who attacked them first, and finished Ceroba off (Te is what is objective, but from the external world)

"Though they are generally free spirits, they like to have a certain order in their lives. They do enjoy structure, just as long as it does not intrude with their feelings/morals/ethics/etc. They like to be the ones to create the structure, not to have the structure to be created for them." Vengeance route and Clover’s "mission" come to mind. Basically, the structure is that, whoever Clover sees as morally flawed, gets to die. And they stick to it

tl;dr this picture pretty much explains the way I see Clover's functions in a nutshell ↓

#another reason i think this type fits clover is bc it is my type too #and i relate to the kid sm #uty #undertale yellow #clover uty #uty clover #clover undertale yellow #undertale yellow clover #clover #character analysis #some part of me still finds it tough to differentiate ti and fi #but that future oriented personality was what steered me towards fi more #clover deff has a certain set of values and that was why they were kind to absolutely everyone in their way #in pacifist #they are such a moral kid #they value truth too but to a lesser extent than morals imo #uty spoilers #ceroba also called them naive #which makes me think Clover didn't have a logical plan #just wanted to right this wrong #and in geno martlet says smth like “you wanted to see the best in those kids”#again Clover doesn't know what they were like but chooses to believe they were good #innately kind that's who Clover is #but in geno they didn't broaden their horizons #long post

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 year ago

Text

By: Anonymous

Published: Oct 16, 2023

When my first son claimed he was trans, I eagerly ‘affirmed’ him. When his three-year-old brother decided he wanted to be trans, too, I realized I’d made a terrible mistake.

I was a social-justice organizer and facilitator before social justice took over the progressive world. I was at the nascent movement’s forefront, introducing the concept of intersectionality to organizations and asking people to share their pronouns.

My friends and I felt like we were the cool kids, on the vanguard of the revolutionary wave that would change the world. We were going to achieve what people in that milieu call “collective liberation.”

Within this context, I came out as a lesbian and identified as queer. I also fell in love, entered a committed relationship, and gave birth to a son. Two years later, my spouse gave birth to our second son.

Having children and experiencing the love and devotion I felt toward them, was a game changer for me. I began to experience internal tensions. My thinking was split between what I felt instinctively as a mother; and what I “should” be feeling and doing as a white anti-racist social-justice parent.

Because I’d felt victimized by my parents’ rejection of my sexuality, I wanted to make sure to honor my own children’s “authentic” selves. In particular, I was primed to look for any clues that might suggest they could be transgender.

My spouse and I raised our sons with gender-neutral clothes, toys, and language. While we used he/him pronouns, and others called them boys, we did not call them boys, or even tell them that they were boys.

In our everyday reading of books or descriptions of people in our lives, we did not say “man” or “woman”; we said “people.” We thought we were doing the right thing, both for them and for the world.

Even when our first son was still young, he already struck us as different from other boys—being both extremely gifted and unusually sensitive. By age three or so, he started to orient more toward the females in his life than the males. “I like the mamas,” he would say.

We started to attribute some of this difference to the possibility that he was transgender. Instead of orienting him toward the reality of his biological sex by telling him he was a boy, we wanted him to tell us if he felt he was a boy or a girl. As true believers, we thought that we should “follow his lead” to determine his true identity.

At the same time, I was taking a deep dive into the field of attachment and child development. This made me understand that attachment is hierarchical; and that parents, not children, are meant to be in the lead. This obviously conflicted with my insistence on letting my child decide his gender. Sadly, it was the latter impulse that won the day.

At around age four, my son began to ask me if he was a boy or a girl. I told him he could choose. I didn’t use those words—I imagined that I was taking a more sophisticated approach. I told him, “When babies are born with a penis, they are called boys, and when babies are born with a vagina, they are called girls. But some babies who are born with a penis can be girls, and some babies born with a vagina can be boys. It all depends on what you feel deep inside.”

He continued to ask me what he was, and I continued to repeat these lines. I’d resolved my inner conflict by “leading” my son with this framework. Or so I told myself.

His question, and my response to it, would come back to haunt me. In fact, I remain haunted to this day. To the extent I was “leading” my son anywhere, it was down a path of lies—an on-ramp to psychological damage and irreversible medical interventions. All in the name of love, acceptance, and liberation.

About six months later, he told my spouse that he was a girl and wanted to be called “sister” and “she/her.” I received a text message about this at work. On the way home that night, I resolved to put all my own feelings away and support my transgender child. And that is what I did.

We told him he could be a girl. He jumped up and down on the bed, happily saying, “I’m a girl, I’m a girl!” We—not our son—initiated changing his name. We socially transitioned him and enforced this transition with his younger brother, who was then only two years old and could barely pronounce his older brother’s real name.

When I look back at this, it is almost too much to write about. How could a mother do this to her child? To her children?

Once we made this decision, we received resounding praise and affirmation from most of our peers. One of my friends, who’d also socially transitioned her young child, assured me that this was a healthy, neutral way to allow children to “explore” their gender identity before puberty, when decisions would have to be made about puberty blockers and hormones.

We sought out support groups for parents of transgender children, so that we could find out if we’d done the “right thing.” It hadn’t escaped my notice that our son hadn’t exhibited any signs of actual gender dysphoria. Was he actually transgender?

At these support groups, we were told, again, what good parents we were. We were also told that kids on the autism spectrum (which our son likely is) are gender savants who simply know they are transgender earlier than other kids.

At one of the support groups we attended, we were also told that transgender identity takes a few years to develop in children. The gender therapist running things told us that during this period, it’s important to protect the child’s transgender self-conception—which meant eliminating all contact with family or friends who didn’t support the idea that our son was a girl. I believed her.

Looking back, I now see her comments in a shockingly different light: this was part of an intentional process of concretizing transgender identity in children who are much too young to know themselves in any definitive way. (One set of parents attending the group had a child who was just three years old.) When identity is “affirmed” in this manner, children will grow up believing they are actually the opposite sex.

The therapist endorsed the same approach that many adolescents use on their parents, who are urged to write letters to grandparents, aunts, and uncles to announce the child’s transgender identity. In these letters, the conditions of continued social engagement are made clear: Recipients must use the new name and new pronouns, and embrace the new identity, or they will be denied contact with the child.

After about a year of social transition for our older son, our younger son, who was by now only three years old, began to say he was a girl, too. This came as a complete shock to us. None of the things that made our older son “different” applied to our younger son. He was more of a stereotypical boy and didn’t show the same affinity for the feminine side of things that his older brother did.

The urge for “sameness” is a primal attachment drive in many family members. We felt that our younger son’s assertion of being a girl likely reflected his desire to be like his older sibling, in order to feel connected to him.

His claim to be a girl became more insistent when both brothers went to school part-time, because their program included pronoun sharing. Why could the older sibling be a “she” when the younger sibling couldn’t? Our younger son became more insistent, and we became more distressed.

We made an appointment to see the gender therapist whom we’d met at the support group. We truly believed that she would be able to help us sort out who, if anyone, was actually transgender.

To our shock, the therapist immediately began referring to our younger son as “she,” stating that whatever pronouns a young child wants to use are the pronouns that must be used.

She patronizingly assured us that it might take us more time to adjust, since parents have a hard time with this sort of thing. She added that it was transphobic to believe there was anything wrong with our younger son wanting to be like his older transgender sibling.

When I pushed back and asserted that I wasn’t yet convinced our younger son was in fact transgender, she told me that if I failed to change his pronouns and honor his newly announced identity, he could develop an attachment disorder.

We were unconvinced. But, again, we wanted to do what was right for our son and for the world. We decided to tell him he could be a girl. And that night at dinner, we told him that we would call him “she/her.”

Right after dinner, I went to play an imaginary game with him, and I wanted to be affirming. So I put a big, warm smile on my face and said, “Hi, my girl!”

At this, my younger son stopped, looked at me, and said, “No, mama. Don’t call me that.” His reaction pierced me to my core. I didn’t turn back after that.

For the next two years, my partner and I dug deeper, agonized, and then continued digging again. Everything we thought we knew or believed that had led us to socially transition our older son began to unravel.

I continued to study the attachment-based developmental approach to parenting and learned more about autism and hypersensitivity. We decided not to socially transition our younger son. Not only was he not transgender, we now realized, but our older son probably wasn’t either.

He was just a highly sensitive, likely autistic boy who saw a girl identity as a form of psychic protection. It also provided him a way of attaching to me through sameness.

My spouse and I decided that since we’d been the ones who’d led him down this path, we were the ones who needed to lead him off of it.

A year ago, just before our older son’s eighth birthday, we did just that. And while the initial change was hard—incredibly hard—the strongest emotion exhibited by our son turned out to be relief.

In the days following my first conversation with him about going back to his birth name and pronouns, during which I told him that males cannot be females and that we were wrong to tell him he could choose to be a girl, he got very mad at me, then sad. Then, the next day, I felt my son rest. I felt him release a burden, an adult burden that he, as a child, was never meant to carry.

Since that time, we’ve all been healing. My son is now happy and thriving. We’ve watched him come to a deeper peace with himself as a boy.

Our younger son is also thriving. Once his older brother became his older brother again, he happily, and almost immediately, settled into his identity as a boy.

I feel like someone who’s escaped a cult—a cult whose belief system is supported by our mainstream culture, the Internet, and even the state.

I fear for the future—the future of sensitive, feminine, socially awkward boys. I fear what the world will tell them about who they are.

But no matter what the future holds, I will never ever stop fighting to protect my sons. I am no longer a true believer.

#gender ideology #queer theory #genderwang #gender cult #social transition #autism #social justice #critical social justice #affirmation model #gender affirming #gender affirmation #trans identity #gender identity #child psychology #religion is a mental illness

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cazzyf1 · 5 months ago

Text

My favourite quotes and facts from "Wolfgang Graf Berghe von Trips - Biographie von Reinold Louis'

Warning: I've been translating this book from German to English as I read and took down notes, so some of the quotes are not grammatically correct or sound off due to the translator

• He believed in God

• His mother nicknamed him 'Little Wolf'

• Up until age six Wolfgang von Trips grew up alone away from children, so when he first went to school with others he was beaten by mean kids as he didn't know how to interact around them

• "I was never beaten. With one exception: when I was said to have lied, which wasn't true. I was always raised to be completely honest and have always followed this. That's why I was incredibly insulted at the time because people didn't believe me and because I felt the punishment was unfair." -p23

• The first time he drove a car on public roads was when he was 14 and out horse riding with his dad. His dad's horse got spoked and his dad fell off and smashed his nose. Wolfgang was unable to keep control of his horse so had to let him go and hope he went back the stable (which he did) while Wolfgang ran home, told his mum what had happened and got a family car out, drove it through the village to his dad and then drove him to the doctors

• "I had to stand in front of this Christmas tree and the nativity scene and recite my Christmas poem: 'I come from deep in the forest, I have to tell you, it's very Christmassy...' The memory of this is very deeply embedded in me. -p26

• Wolfgang was intrested in astronomy but never got the time to look more into it

• He didn't like spinach

• "What I saw of the war back then, what I had to go through myself, affected me very much and, as they say, I literally collapsed and was then sent home." - p34

• "I said that I was once very idealistic and devoted myself to all things that in our country were called war and defense of the fatherland. And now the war was lost. That was actually a complete inner breakdown for me because I simply didn't know where I belonged now." - p37

• "I had never been on a motorcycle before, so I had a crazy fear of the monster. But I dreamed of her and I wanted to take her to bed with me." - p42

• When Wolfgang was at his boarding school with his car, him and his friends would sneak over into the French border in his car and smuggle back wine to drink

• Wolfgang was arrested once in front of the British soilders as he had been trading farm food for tyres with a British soilder but then the British soilder died and some other soldiers discovered the tyres on Wolfgangs car and thought he had stole them

• "First day alone on Kreuzeck then Zugspitze, met 2 girls. Next day Wank. Met the ice revue girls again in the evening. Lived near me. From then on we toured together. Both quite nice. One too sensible. Other fall in love with me. Those were nice days"

• "I don't have a single real friend there either. I socialize like that with everyone, but it's not the right thing. The boys are completely different from here." - P49

• Wolfgang really liked going to the cinema, he saw films like 'The last Veil', 'People from the variety show' and 'Son ein Früchtenchen'

• At his apartment when at school he loved to sleep on his balcony when it was hot

• "It's actually funny, I still don't have a girlfriend, I have to laugh sometimes, and there aren't many sensible girls around either." - p50

• "I'm currently lying in my castle with my head under a deck chair because of the sun, eating crumble cake and drinking Biomaris. The boy is racing around like crazy trying to get to the girls. One of them keeps looking at him challengingly and it drives him completely crazy. I haven't met anyone yet, I'm just lazing around in the area." - p51

• "I haven't been happy with myself for a long time. The swing, the fresh naturalness, etc. have been lost to me here.But I don't want to believe what mom says about vapid selfishness. I defend myself against it. Must be different. Self-aggrandizing. I look bad, she says almost every time lately. I'm kind of weird too. Sometimes I don't feel completely healthy. Right now I'm ok." - p65

• Wolfgang von Trips was forced to leave his school as he wasn't doing well in his classes. He could recognise this and knew that he had no motivation for school as it was making him very lazy because he didn't have the energy to do well. All that brought him joy was his motorbike racing that he had started to pick up.

• His was then sent to another school to focus more on agriculture and found the people he was with more interesting than previously

• He didn't always eat well so his parents had it arranged that he could go to a hotel and get food whenever he wanted however when he wanted to buy a car he made a deal with the hotel that he wouldn't eat there anymore in exchange for the money his parents said and the hotel can pretend he was eating there

• "I was really afraid of death when I heard Beethoven's piano sonata op. 111" - p85

• "And then I'm so tense, kind of nervous. It's also because I deal with too many people and this causes me to tear myself apart. I don't have a steady girlfriend, sometimes I flirt with Erika Perps, then I'm with Erika Nies and Birgitta, I keep an iron in the fire everywhere and yet I'm not really friends with anyone" - p88

• "I'm not okay. I think Rosa likes me. It's a strange relationship between us. Somehow I know she's not right for me. I like her a lot and it's also very practical, but I've been looking for something else for a long time, but I don't have the energy to, firstly, get away from it and, secondly, to find a really nice, lovely girl who I like and who has something It requires striving for something more formed and more stable. Well, let's see how everything goes. I already had an unpleasant thing with my mother because of it. She spoke to Rosa's mother about us and this trivial matter turned into an embarrassingly stupid one because this one comment about her son-in-law was made to Heinz who told me about it. I stupidly raged at mom and now she snapped. Well, okay again now. Firstly, it's embarrassing for me and secondly, I definitely don't want anyone to say or suspect anything about Rosa and me in any circles. I wouldn't be happy with that." - p91

• "Unfortunately, I'm afraid of feelings and can't live them out or give myself up to surrender to them. I'm not honest with myself. Even with girls. I always played, never admitted my feelings, not even to Mira or to myself. Erika and Rosa now live together. Is it better for me? Erika is a lovely guy, I like him very much. Had some wine and liqueur last night. Was one with Rosa an hour alone in the room. Usual scuffle, she was very soft and had tears in her eyes as I tormented her with words. I like them, that's very clear, but somehow I have an obstacle. I'm almost afraid to bring about a discussion, an understanding, because then I no longer feel free and I don't want to commit myself under any circumstances, especially not in this case. It would be nice to simply like a person and know that they like you and to have mutual understanding and a feeling of togetherness. Then again I think it wasn't real with her and I'm too ashamed to reveal myself. But it's just the way it is, when you're intimate with a person, something has to say about whether you want to overcome me and I have it here or not. (Just writing this down now costs the fear of saying too much. But that also depends on the object.) Oh, what I would give for the moment when I could write affirmatively with all my heart here in this book "I'm in love" to show myself like that to people and calmly to the world around me. I'm sure I have these feelings now too, and sometimes I'm quite happy when I'm with her. But it annoys me that there is no one else where, as I said, I could freely admit it." - p94

• "The last few days have been completely under the influence of Marlene, my entire day thinking only revolved around her. Especially when I'm alone, I torment myself with the idea of having to leave in a few days and then not seeing her again. I've never experienced anything like that in my life and I'm completely blown away. When I'm with her it's a little different, you don't think like that. But it's true that I love her very much. I've never seen a girl like that before, she's pretty much what I dreamed of, a real young, completely untouched girl. Think she loves me too. Went with her last night to the fireworks in a neighboring town (with her sister, her fiancé and an Englishman who, unfortunately, he was visiting her). I was able to curl up and walk along the bank with her. I could barely hold a conversation, it was strange. I always have the specter of never seeing her again and I'm just different in everything when I'm with her. There are no words to describe what it was like, I can only state the facts, not the feeling. Maybe later I'll remember how I suddenly took her in my arms and kissed her, not on the mouth. I took it easy for a moment and I've never seen a girl feel like that. Think it was her first hug. God, I want to capture all of this, but when I think about yesterday and read it now... You can't express it in a few words. was as if they were together men would sink. I don't know, she became very soft and walked completely differently without any support. I would have loved to tease her. Had to go back soon. She kept saying “you” to me. I asked her if she would like to have me. She evaded the fact that I would soon be leading. But she said that until now she had raved and was happy with a few boys and now that she had met me something had torn inside her. Have to ask her again what she means by that. Maybe things will actually get better once I'm gone. But now I have a fear of the descent that doesn't leave me alone all day long. This afternoon I lay in my bed and cried like a little girl. Child. Baseless. Then I slept a bit and then went for a swim, but always brooding and longing for Marlene. On Friday I was in Friborg with her and the really nice Englishman (I could kill him) in a '50 Pontiac Hydromatic. It cost me 150 francs, but I was with her. Sometimes she looks at you. I notice I'm going crazy, will it be over soon? Don't think so. It's pretty deep, but what should I do? Hopefully I can get her alone again, it's not easy. I never thought something like this could happen to me. I'd better stop writing, it'll all come out of one thing. I'm in love, I'm loved too, but what's the use? Lausanne-Cologne-Benefeld is too far, hopefully I'll probably get over it soon and so will she, the little one. But one more thing as a fact: I don't smoke anymore and not as long as I have my love for her. Hold on too, I know that..." - p98/99

• "I just have times when I have no vitality, I don't do anything, I'm tired and I see everything as if through a veil, I can't find an excuse for anything and I completely lose connection with the past and the future. By that I mean that all plans are forgotten and nothing is carried out what was planned. That nothing is planned for the future and that all further thoughts are no longer there, there is nothing that could give me a boost. Then the picture suddenly changes. You remember the good streak again, pick up old plans, make new ones, feel good and just have it no longer have these dragging feelings like before, is somehow freer, as if freed from a nightmare and can do something. I just want to know how this is connected, whether it's purely physical in nature is or whatever comes into" - p112

• Wolfgang would feel very depressed being back at home after he finished school. He felt trapped and being alone without any young friends was tough on him.

• Wolfgang has commitment issues and he found it hard announcing it to the world his feelings and that he is intrested in someone. Instead he preferred to hide it all.

• Wolfgang found it hard to figure out if what he felt towards a woman was love or infatuation. He would have sex with the girls he knew but was very hesitant to have relationships. His feelings would change quickly and he could quickly loose intrest. He did love Rosa a bit but not to the extent that she loved him

• He tried to quit smoking a few times but it would always come back

• "I actually like dancing, not very well, but I like it. I really like jazz music gladly. I also like classical music, thanks to my mother. My mother has a very great understanding of music. She used to play the piano herself, almost to the point where she was ready for a concert, and that's why we often had it in our house good music, piano concerts and stuff, heard. I was exposed to jazz music through the colored Americans with whom I had these discussions. They often played their records during the day and told me a lot about jazz." - p121

• "The days with Marlene in Heidelberg and Stuttgart were nice, but they could no longer be what being with the girl meant to me back in Switzerland. I was really in love then, but now I saw a lot of things with different eyes. Maybe my whole inner hollowness and apathy is partly to blame, but mainly the fact that the charm of the unspoken and very tender, unconscious and, to me, so foreign way of approaching and communicating with a girl doesn't mean anything under normal circumstances is extraordinary and therefore only the appeal of the real A very touching and very delicately hinted caress remains." - p121/122

• "then the moment comes when I'm standing on the street in Cologne and see the buyer driving away on my motorcycle, my R 51. My motorcycle, which carried me through the years, which was, so to speak, my everything, with which I drove to all my events and visited my girlfriend! This piece of my life was suddenly taken away by someone else! Then my world collapsed inside me, it was terrible, I stood there and wanted to cry" - p136

• "Wolfgang has a lot of self-doubt during this phase. He simply lacks a conversation partner with whom he can exchange ideas, who can inspire him or who can provide him with assistance in some other way. He often sits alone in his second room in Brühl and sees writing letters as the only way to express his thoughts" - p138

• "I sometimes see myself as the offspring of a rich family who races in his youth and has no idea about anything and no more money when he gets old. I dont want that...I still have to learn something, but I can't stop driving, I'm too invested in it." - p144

• "As I turned more and more to the car, this began to fade because I suddenly had something else on the side that I hadn't had before. She actually gave us the impetus, as they say, to break things off. Of course, I initially rejected this. Then, when she noticed that I was slipping more and more into this car atmosphere, I wrote She told me that it would be better if we separated so that we wouldn't destroy our beautiful memories too. It can no longer be the way it was anyway. All of this went through my head again when I didn't turn right as usual, but instead stayed on the motorway and continued driving. That was a moment I will never forget because it was probably the final crossroads. But at that moment I also realized that from now on a new life will begin for me and that everything will somehow be completely different. Actually, I was kind of happy about it. It was something new and I really threw myself into it and dedicated my heart and soul to this driving." - p146

• ">Ovo con salato - that was the first Italian I heard and that I wrote it down in my diary, and I always remember this “ovo con salato” fondly. So we all ate egg and salad and then it was time to go to our hotel, the address of which had been written down for us and which was in Gardone Val frompia. That was such a nice sounding word and I thought it was so great, that I constantly said it to myself, yes I had to say it because I often said it afterwards had to ask for directions. >Excuse me, where to Gardone Val Trompia? I had to learn this sentence by heart that evening and yet everything was so great for me that I hardly slept the rest of the night because of my excitement." - p147

• "But what moved me the most was the fact that I, who only had a shirt and trousers to wear, received a white overall from the Porsche mechanics with the words “Porsche” clearly visible on the back. That was really great for me" - p148

• "Helmut is very excited: Your parents are standing back there, I think they've already recognized me. What we do?" So I turn around very carefully and I see my mother with the binoculars, looking right at me. So there was nothing to be done and so I half a good face made the bad game and waved. She then waved and I went over to her to the delight of the audience in the stands who were watching everything. I found a place with my parents and from the stands watched the race for the “European Grand Prix,” which Juan Manuel Fangio won in the new Mercedes-Benz. I don't remember much else because the big races were at that time outside of my sphere of interest" - p157

• "When he took part in motorcycle competitions as one of the "three wild pigs", Rolf Clasen's wife always packed an extra package of sandwiches "ur da Jung" in his storage bag. And after he switched to a pumped Porsche, his sports mates Friedrich Victor H and Hans Lappe supplied him with food during racing events and the cook at eese Rolff often opened her pantry in the evenings when Wolfgang was on his way home" - p167

• "'Well, boy, now listen. You are now the young guy in the racing team and maybe you are even faster than Karl Kling. But it's certainly more intelligent if you stay behind him, because he's the big driver now, and since he wants to step down soon, it would certainly be better and so...” And so on. There I stood, a little embarrassed and didn't know how to behave" - p185

• "Then I was allowed to drive three laps and get out again. I was never told what times I achieved. Nobody cared about me. There was not a word of recognition, no advice or criticism. Nothing came, nothing at all and, to be honest, I was very embarrassed. Only one person took the time to talk to me and that was Juan Manuel Fangio. We didn't have a common language, but his comradely care for me, a newcomer, was evident in every gesture he made and in every word he spoke, which I mostly only partially understood. I never forgot that, even in later years when I was more firmly in the saddle and had found my own way, and I believe that there is no better way to carry and preserve the memory of the great man and racing driver Fangio than trying to emulate him in every way. Looking back, I don't want to blame anyone, because before this race everyone had to deal with themselves. It was quite a burden and I also had to master this car at speeds that were completely unknown to me up to that point" - p191

• Wolfgang experiences Christmas and the New Year on the high seas. Peter Collins is not only an ideal travel companion for him, but he is active also with great success as an entertainer for the passengers. If he his When stories are told about racing cars, the slopes and colleagues, those standing by listen, fascinated and mostly smiling. The ship is anchored in Montevideo for two days because the cargo has to be unloaded. After an afternoon stroll through the city, two passengers are missing: Peter Collins and a young Brazilian woman who got on in Rio. Excitement on board, especially with Wolfgang. The ship finally sets off half an hour late. Peter suddenly appears from the crowd on land collins at a stretched trot, holding the girl by the hand. Wolfgang has his film camera at hand and captures this scene. Collins gesticulates to find someone who is chasing the dwindling steamer with him and the girl in an ancient tucker boat. Hundreds Pairs of eyes follow the maneuver from the deck. The ship has to hey and shorten the distance. Sailors have already started down a gangway. The “pursuers” found it difficult to keep up with Taempo, but that made little sense because the distance was increasing instead of decreasing. Wolfgang rushes to the captain with two other passengers. When the command "Slow speed ahead" got to the engine room, the Boce got them. The two of them climbed on board with embarrassed faces. A nice spat from the captain follows and Collins, who was wrong about the time, falls out of favor with the passengers." - p229/230

• "An English friend Peter Collins dispelled all my doubts and persuaded me. I also have him to thank for the fact that my first racing adventure in a formula car ended well." - p231

• "I was amazed at the endless patience of Peter Collins, who came to me after every lap and told me what I had done wrong" - p232

• "I stood there closed my eyes, thought of an extreme curve and mentally performed everything that I had tried in vain to master during training. >Approach the curve, brake carefully, let it slide away, not too much, accelerate. How many times have I repeated this and muttered it to myself, rehearsed it in my head? I don't know it. Anyway, Mike Hawthorn poked me in the ribs and asked: >What about you? Are you crazy?<" - p232

• "Finally he arrived, and sure enough, he rolled up to the pits. I can't remember why I already had my helmet on and my gloves on, but that's how it was. All I had to do was get in the car and drive off. Nevertheless, my throat almost constricted with excitement. Galt. Maybe Collins' stay in the pits isn't mine at all? Then he waved to me. I couldn't believe he meant me and looked around for Mike Hawthorn, who was standing nearby. But Mike acted as if it was none of his business, even though it would have been his turn if Peter Collins had wanted to get out.. 'Come on, get away,' Collins said to me as he got up from the cockpit, and Icha was in the Formula 1 car faster than I had hoped and dreamed." - p233

• "I felt an exhilarating feeling because I knew that I had joined the circle of Grand Prix drivers and was accepted. But I also knew that I still needed a lot to become a master like my friend Peter Collins, who had selflessly given me a chance." - p233

• "Wolfgang races over a bumpy railway crossing.The car jumps almost a meter high and Wolfgang's provisions are thrown out. Now he only has his pocket supply of glucose at his disposal. And it runs out quickly. Wolfgang's physical strength dwindles, his concentration wanes, he becomes slower." - p240

• Enzo Ferrari definitely should have cut off Wolfgang's beard after this sensational placement. Because the Commendatore made Wolfgang's entry subject to the condition that if he placed from third place upwards, Wolfgang's memory of the Nürburgring accident would have to fall victim to the scissors. At the finish, however, Enzo Ferrari generously waived the agreement and so the "goatee" still adorns Wolfgang's chin when he is a guest at the Frankfurt Motor Show in October and is there for the press. dien poses. Huschke von Hanstein then had a brilliant idea. And so it happens that Wolfgang appears at the exhibition in the morning with a beard and in the afternoon, in a different wardrobe, shows up without a beard and asks an industrial boss, who rubs his eyes in surprise, whether he hasn't seen his brother." - p249

• "You talk about shifting your values - I think that's only partly true. You already have the ability to love within you - but, I think, over time you have simply forgotten how to properly analyze your feelings. And so you have deceived people. I bet it's women who accuse you of callousness and coldness, women who hoped you would do things and do things that Dua can't do, for the one reason that your whole 'I', your whole life, your longing and suffering has a motto that doesn't tolerate rivals or secondary feelings: racing - you're a man possessed somewhere, that's not good because you're sacrificing too much, putting too much into one thing." - a letter sent to Wolfgang from a friend, p 271

• "Wolfgang makes garden plans, he “dusts off” the castle. His mother, a great supporter of natural medicine, keeps dozens of types of tea in a cupboard, almost all of which are so old that there is only tea dust in the boxes and bags. This is a thorn in Wolfgang's side and when his mother is absent again, he removes all the teas from the cupboard, buys a new cupboard and fills it with freshly bought tea herbs. His secretary's horrified question, 'Is this okay? he answers in his own way: >I want to tell you one thing, Ms. Floßdorf. If my mother finds out and I'm still here, I'll be hanging from a tree. But you’re right next to it!” »Me, why me? >You didn't stop it and you didn't tell my mother!" - p278

• "He, who has always gotten along well with Mike, finds this way of dying particularly tragic. A few days later he also expressed his condolences to Enzo Ferrari" - p178

• Count Crashes is what the English dubbed him after his spectacular fall into the rose bush at Monza. The aura of “Graf Bruchs” preceded him to the USA. But the Americans give it a different name: they call it Tattys respectfully and this name was first used by immigrants from Wales to describe people who, because of their courage and fearlessness, were exemplary and outstanding in the settlement of the former “Wild West”. were. Taffy, that's what most of his racing colleagues call him, is what journalists in newspapers, magazines and radio stations call him. And "Taffys is a popular and skillful interview partner and when his bright and bold boyish face with his lively gray eyes flashes across the American television stations in the bungalows, palaces, apartments, living rooms and even slums and he speaks easily in a bright voice, answers easily, even downright effervescently, then many a “lady” or “mommy” looks at the television screen with interest and fascination and lets the cooking pot be the cooking pot or the ice in the whiskey glass melting. Even after races, when only the stripes around his eyes are white because his racing goggles have kept away the dirt that has been swirling up over many hours, when his face is smeared and his hair is sticky with sweat, his entire appearance still reminds you of you Aristocrats and in his verve Robert Redford, who is already at the top of women's favor" - p 280

• "Wolfgang, who has been looking after young talent in motorsports for some time and always strives to get young athletes off the road and onto the safe airfield racing tracks for many people in the clubs." - p293

• 'Elfriede Floßdorf constantly supplies the beautiful Sicilian from Horem with “Muesli à la Wolfgang”, made from oat flakes, fresh fruits and honey from Hemmersbach production. When visiting Catania, Wolfgang can rely on a well-loved and familiar meal thanks to the care and provision of his secretary. Whenever possible, Wolfgang prefers "his" muesli to any other meal and when there are races in Spa-Francorchamps, the Nürburgring or Hockenheim, Elfriede is always there with fresh muesli to please the "Mr. Count" - like her yourself always expressed to seekers - to keep them strong and happy. His muesli also gives Wolfgang the strength he needs in the 1000 km race at the Nürburgring." - p295

• "When his parents are absent for a long period of time, he "makes a point of doing things." In the absence of a key to the room, which can only be accessed from the outside, he simply breaks a window and gains access. Then we tidy up, clear out and rearrange and finally a beautiful room is created that, after breaking through the door, can now be accessed directly from the castle" - p295

• "A second telephone is right next to her bed, because Wolfgang has the habit of calling almost always and from everywhere, just like that ask questions and give instructions. His many starts and trips in South and North America and later in South Africa mean that most of the calls come at night. When the phone rings on Parkstrasse in Horrem after midnight and Elfriede Floßdorf answers, his recurring question is also a greeting: "Have you slept yet?" - p313

• "Wolfgang is one of the witnesses and at the wedding banquet in the "Stallmästergarden" he has the Swedish Princess Birgitta as his table lady. This doesn't catch him unprepared, because Joakim has prepared him for it: "You will be Princess Birgitta's cavalier and that's why it would be good if your tailcoat, which has been under a lot of wear and tear recently, is thoroughly cleaned up." - p 315

• “They were color films, bright colors, but the most beautiful thing about them was what the young count said about them. It just bubbled out of him, and if these two hours could have been broadcast on television, it would have been one of the best. nest programs that have ever been shown." - p 316

• "But what was most charming was his lovely smile and the lively humor with which he knew how to spice things up without meaning to. You had to like Trips, even though he hasn't become a Fangio or a Caracciola yet." - p 316

• "And I believe that the moment we manage to use a technical object to increase our joy in life, our joy in learning - it takes a lot of learning to master such an instrument - and use it in sporting competition , we are not on the wrong path." - p 330

• To declare the right to want to practice our sport without hostility and defamation. We have to express that we cannot do this in the desired form under the current conditions because we lack events and people are negative, almost hostile, towards us . We have to find ways to exercise that exclude the dangers that motorsport has so far become famous for. We must present clear figures about events in England and America and make it clear that we motorsport enthusiasts are no longer willing to be treated as stepchildren.The event must be held in a representative setting. If possible, all sports and racing vehicles in Germany should be exhibited." - p 335

• "Now guess where I was?” The Floßdorf couple, once again brought out of their sleep by Wolfgang to gain entry to the castle and give him his keys, look puzzled. 1a in South Africa...< says Elfriede and husband Willi wants to add something, but he is interrupted by Wolfgang: »I was with the “good Lord”!” "Where were you?!" I gush about the events of the last few days I celebrated New Year's Eve with the Good Lord. You're amazed, aren't you?" Wolfgang's only joy is that he celebrated the turn of the year with the Aga Khan and many guests in his residence together with Princess Gabrielle of Savoy, whom he greatly admired, daughter of the Italian ex-King Umberto." P337

• "Let me tell you a short episode. I was racing with Fangio in Argentina and Fangio flew out of a corner in front of me due to a driving error. We talked about it afterwards and he said to me: 'Yes, I just made a mistake!< You see, a person like Fangio, who for us and especially for me is the greatest driver of our time, even he can fly out of a curve due to a driving error. For me it was, I would almost say, a great experience because I saw that even a driver as perfect as Fangio is ultimately still a person who constantly has to work harder." - p 343

• "This may sound strange, but I just don't have the energy to shake very many hands, so I usually put my hands in my pockets and just nod my head. So this is not rudeness on my part, just a protective device. Because many people think that I have to say goodbye particularly nicely." - p 366

• "There is a happy and exuberant atmosphere at the evening party. Wolfgang leads his guests through the old moated castle and some of the 45 rooms and shows them the sauna he built himself. Joakim Bonnier knows Hemmersbach almost better than he does at home in Sweden, because he is a guest here, often with his wife, and is always welcome. The guests are impressed by the castle." - p 396

• "The next morning he came for breakfast, we stayed together with small interruptions until the afternoon, swam and while we lay in the garden and enjoyed the sun, I prayed that time would stand still - but the good Lord was not merciful. And Then the moment came when he stood calmly in front of me and told me to keep my ears straight - and his last look, those laughing eyes, comforted me..." - p 399

#this took a long time to read #but it was worth it #I've learnt so much about Wolfgang von Trips #and I loved reading his diary entries #classic f1 #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #vintage f1 #wolfgang von trips

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desirepathzine · 5 months ago

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Placebo's Vision of the Present

Placebo are a band that I feel don't get enough credit for describing exactly how it feels to live in our modern age: the paranoia, the anxiety, the hedonism, the big fears and big loves that dominate this moment in time. And they've been exorcising those demons for a while. Headed up by Brian Molko and Stefan Olsdal, the group has been an authentic voice in music since their debut in 1997.

Maybe it's my American perspective, seeing as Placebo are largely known and celebrated in the UK, but I find their insight to the current era shockingly prescient. This isn't surprising for their 2022 album Never Let. Me Go but even beyond their most recent entries, Molko and co.'s vision of what it's like to be alive is shockingly in tune with the struggles folks of all ages are experiencing.

I was a latecomer to Placebo's catalog, again, not knowing much of them thanks to being based in the United States. Their late 90s debut was a little after my primary era of interest growing up and it wasn't until a few years ago that friends recommended I listen to them. I immediately connected. Their music still feels so fresh and vital, even earlier releases. And it's rare that a band that have been going for so long still have those vital and fresh things to say, their newest record a perfect addition to the catalog.

There probably isn't a better band than Placebo to talk about our relationship to medication, the internet, the climate crisis, and our deteriorating inner lives thanks to the pressures of modern social mores. Those themes are omnipresent in their music, and have been for some time. Always on the outside of society's limitations, especially in their debut era, who better to talk about isolation and alienation than Brian Molko, wearing skirts and makeup whilst Britpop's machismo swagger dominated their homeland's music charts?

Brian has described Placebo as "by outsiders, for outsiders" and that pretty much nails it. There's a deep loneliness in so much of their music, on the personal scale. But even more than loneliness, isolation from a world that feels like it has absolutely derailed, but that music also never quite falls fully into total misanthropy. There's a real beating heart at the center of a Placebo record, however bruised it might be.

Especially recently, I find Placebo's antagonistic fascination with technology particularly apt. When I saw the band in 2023 in Chicago, I knew that Brian had previously been vocally adamant that no phones be used during the show, a request mostly followed by our crowd that night in April. But the band has an Instagram presence, and were early adopters of the internet in order to promote back in the day. Their lives shows also feature a fantastic live glitching video setup that lends a surreal tone to the evening.

This is perhaps best exemplified in their song "Too Many Friends", a fan favorite meditation on how the internet spreads a human too thin, living a life of consumption in order to be consumed. Starting with the absolutely banger line "my computer thinks I'm gay", the song can occasionally inspire laughs, especially if you're not expecting it (I admittedly did this on first listen), but it is a genuine, heartfelt, and morose exploration of the digital era of relationships being defined by the screen. In this age of connection, we are all increasingly isolated. Brian laments that he'll never be there personally for all of the people who he might have otherwise called a friend online. It's something I think we've all faced. Someone you don't actually know well enough, or someone so far away that you can't really do anything for them, or have the in-person element of that relationship. It also deals with how the internet defines us, our boxes that we tick for it, the demographics and information that it collects from our true identities and commodifies for capitalistic gains. In response to that banger opening line, Molko later answers "what's the difference anyway?" How do you even engage with the machine anymore? The answer might be "just don't".

The paranoia aspect that I can relate to feels most vital to their latest release, Never Let Me Go. Surrounded by Spies and Sad White Reggae are two of the standout tracks on the record, and describe an onslaught of tragedies, ailments, and fears that can compound simply by existing in a world with a 24 hour news cycle, along with cryptic personal missives from the band. They also revisit their climate anxieties on Chemtrails and Try Better Next Time, the plastic islands starting to pile up on the cover of the record made manifest in the music.

The hard stance for outsiders made in their early work sees its result in these later releases. Did anything change by making these stands? Maybe. Did the world actively get worse? Maybe. Are Brian and Stefan still here trying to dissect these ideas, albeit with more lived experience, sobriety, and the increasingly ominpresent internet linked them to more and more people? Absolutely. I appreciate their vulnerability, musicality, rage, anxiety, and ultimate willingness to write how they feel. In expressing their isolation, Placebo brings the outsiders together, a last rebellion in a shrinking world.

#placebo #collapse into never #never let me go #brian molko #stefan olsdal

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sntechsupport · 7 months ago

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how does the "development" of a game like SBURB go in general? That is, it literally moves players to another reality and destroys entire civilizations, how can its "code" be changed?

and by the way, the question is also different: if you are the developers and technical support of the game, then... Who are you? In this case, you are even more powerful beings than the gods themselves in the game.

Answering this is not as trivial as it might seem, because since the start of my work on Sburb (as SkaiaNet called the game when we started making it) a lot of retroactive coding has been introduced it.

Initially we were developing the game for desktops, but they didn’t really… have the capacity to hold it. Since ~ATH code works with real-life conditions (especially nearby deaths), the logical step to “okay, let’s make the game play out in reality” is super obvious. Or at least it was to us. I think that at this point Glue, who worked on the inner codes, got the game infovirus.

Our first wave of testing was done by yours truly, I was one of the dedicated members of the testing team. I was there when the game was in 2D only. Test Sessions didn’t play the full game out, we looped and cloned one Incinisphere and changed its inner variables… Kind of like making a balloon animal, except instead of a balloon you use a bubble of existence.

The second testing wave was releasing the Sburb Alpha. That went… better than we expected, but much much worse than we anticipated. The “destroys the entire world” bit took us by surprise. We didn’t know how it was possible that the game released across countless timelines either. Granted, we didn’t want to be obliterated with the rest of the planet, so… We went down to the core code and instead of the game code we changed our code.

You see, ~ATH is amazing: It is a code that can describe anything. Even a living being. How it acts, what it looks like, how it reproduces… and how and if it exists. What we did was that we made SkaiaNet stop existing in those timelines in which Sburb destroyed our planet. We created a backup of those alternate selves we had there and merged them with “ours”.

I have (had) a lot of parallel memories. I am a lot of Gears, but ultimately I am just Gears. That delete-and-merge code is still active and it has eliminated me and our entire SkaiaNet to one singular instance.

And then it deleted that instance and made us literally not exist. We have always existed and yet never existed in the first place. Hence why time is sort of weird for us and we are on the wrong edge of the whole reality thing. Our SkaiaNet Headquarters is every single SN HQ that could have ever been (but of course, never was). I am every single Gear that could have been, but of course never was. A lot of those Gears could have never been born.

Currently at the HQ there are just 4 (I have absolutely no idea where Marketing Department is… and it is not my problem). All of us are infected with the game infovirus, so our placement is also a sort of a quarantine. Is the virus a computer virus or a disease-virus? Yes. When you think about it, there is no difference. It is a string of information that compels its host to replicate itself. It is now integrated into our own source code (and DNA). It has overwritten parts of code that are vital for people to remain, well, people. For example our death mechanic is ultimately broken. If we die, our bodies repair themselves, we get up and carry on. And that’s even if there is nothing left of the bodies.

The catch here is: The infovirus is the core-most line of the game itself. That’s it. The game wants to spread and exist… and so we work on it. We have to. We literally can’t stop. We can venture deep into the source code that allows us to manipulate the fundamentals of the game itself, I literally carry around brackets and spaces and backslashes and order the code physically around. Having the infovirus makes me part of the core source code, and makes it possible - I presume that without it the abstract strain would tear my consciousness apart, which is what happened to a couple of my colleagues.

So… Technically I suppose that the four of us are incredibly powerful and we have the capability alter the foundation of reality itself. But we can’t. Because it would make a shit game. And we can’t not make a bad game. We have to make the best game possible, one you’d play and suggest to your friends and family, one you’d play with your children and schoolmates.

Speaking of, I’ve procrastinated by answer this long enough, back to those giraffe-necked Prospitians.

Gear out.

#sn tech support #sburb #sgrub #snts lore

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thislovintime · 1 year ago

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On the set of Head (1968).

“Actually, meditation is only concentrated thinking on one subject. But that thinking must be sincere and with no distracting noises or bothersome things to ruin your peace and quiet. Let’s say you use a candle flame to concentrate on as I do sometimes. Maybe you like to have some sweet, fragrant incense burning. Sit comfortably and decide on what you want to meditate about. […] Now when you meditate, allow your mind to settle. Try not to let questions like ‘Am I really meditating? Am I doing this right?’ bother you. Instead relax, let your mind settle on whatever you’re meditating about, and let your subject of meditation fill your mind. You can meditate on anything! The trees, a tree, and their shapes and colors against the sky. Or on the sky itself and its deep blue. Whatever you see around you, or whoever is in your life, all these things are good subject for your meditation. And there are other, more abstract subjects as well, such as love itself, which is almost a life-time study, and such as how things go together, if at all. […] Man was born with the freedom to be happy naturally. If you’re unhappy, that’s a clue your inner mind is giving you, telling you to root out the lies you’ve bought, telling you to shuck your chains. By learning to meditate, you can finally see what’s making you unhappy, and get rid of it all! Actually your whole life and your whole world is right in the corner of your head right now. All you need to do is to find the pathway to it, the pathway to the truth about yourself. Some people say it isn’t good to learn the truth about yourself, because the truth hurts! That may seem to be the way things are, but that’s not really where it’s at. I think you’ll agree: truth and God mean the same thing. God and love meant the same thing. So Love is the Truth and vice versa. And how can Love, or God, hurt you? It’s not the truth that hurts, no. It’s the shock of knowing that you’ve lived with a lie about yourself for a long, long time that really hurts you. Meditation can fix all that. Micky once said it like this: In a way, we are all like trees. The parts of us that are above ground, the part of our minds that other people see everyday, are like a tree’s limbs and leaves. But there’s just as much to our inner mind as a tree has roots under the ground, just as many roots as it has limbs and branches. You have your own worth inside of your own head. And your roots of meditation are reaching deep, deep down into that earth for spiritual understanding of yourself. When you meditate, you’re tracing those roots down, running along inside them to see where they go and what secrets about you they’ve found deep in the rich depths of that earth that’s inside your head. When you meditate with peace and love, and after you’ve done it for awhile and learned how it has to work, just for you, you will start to get ‘flashes’ in your mind! You’ve probably all had some already, which only goes to show how natural meditation is. They will be super-outasite ideas that you’ll all of a sudden understand about yourself and about life and about the love that really runs all though your life. And you’ll say to yourself, ‘Hey! I knew that all the time!’ And you know what? You did know it all the time! You’ve known it deep down in your inner mind ever since you were the littlest baby! Because that’s the real you! The only reason you never thought about that secret from the inner you before is that you just never reached deep down for it before, down deep into your inner mind by meditation! Life is a big puzzle. And you know you can put the pieces together, if you can just figure out the way to start. Meditation is the way. Peace.” - Peter Tork, as told to Fave reporter Phyllis Burgess; Fave, June 1968

#Peter Tork #Tork quotes #60s Tork #The Monkees #Monkees #long read #Head (1968)#Micky Dolenz #Peter and Micky #can you queue it

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sadsongsandwaltzes · 7 months ago

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about country music, I've never really gotten into it. May I ask why you like it so and what might be some good songs to start listening to?

It all started when I was born…

I was born into a family living in a trailer house in the middle of an alfalfa field. My mother a schoolteacher, my father hauled manure. My grandparents were farmers and ranchers. My clothes were hand me downs and most of our meals were rather bland. On one hand I guess you could say in some sense, country music is the music of my people. It’s an ingrained sense of belonging. The category to which we belonged was “poor rural country folk” and that’s just who we were. It’s the sounds of home. The topics of familiarity. There’s a natural and proud bias.

On the other hand is my father. A naturally talented musician with an extreme adoration for country music. I would sit on the floor playing with my dollhouse and he would sit and strum James Taylor songs and sing them to me (which is folk music, but it’s adjacent). He would tuck me into bed and sing me I Love by Tom T. Hall. He instilled in me from a young age a love for music. A love for great songwriting and beautiful melodies.

I did grow up with the oldies. I knew all them old songs, but I’d be lying if I said I cared about them. Growing up, with the exception of a few favorite songs, I didn’t give a flying crap about (especially classic) country because it was my parents music. And I wanted to be rebellious and be anyone but who I actually was. So that’s when I got heavy into rock and such.

Fast forward to 19. I was on my own. The perfect storm hit. Being on my own for the first time, I was homesick. And the old country songs sounded like a warm Sunday afternoon. And then I went through my first very real heartbreak. Let me tell you, nothing will turn you onto country music quicker than hardship. Hard times and country music fit each other like a glove. Suddenly all these old songs I used to think were boring began to speak directly to my heart. I was a little older, I’d lived a little life, felt a few heartaches, made a few mistakes. I was now able to understand and appreciate the lyrics to a lot of these old songs.

Combine the emotional aspects (nostalgia and heartache) with my what was and is my very real deep seeded love for music in general, I began to study country music history, without even realizing really what I was getting into. I’m glad for that lonely time because it prompted me into discovering my greatest earthly passion. I was just trying to survive, and from the ashes arose a real love and appreciation for music and art like I never had before. I began to realize most American music wouldn’t exist without country (yes including and especially rock). I learn the history, the techniques, its reason for being. Every people group has its own folk music. The songs of the laborers, the forgotten, the downtrodden. And country music is the culmination of all those folk styles blending together. It’s the music of the people. People brought their own instruments together and sang the songs they knew: about the hard work they’ve down, the hard times they’ve experienced, the hymns of praise they sang at church, the grand stories they’ve heard. It’s the music that cuts at the core of the human experience. It’s music that exists simply for the love of music. It’s the music that exists for the specific need of exposing the inner soul. For saying what you can’t. Being the voice you need. For entertainment. Country music is well known for its storytelling and simple yet effective songwriting. “Three chords and the truth,” as it were.

I realized how truly special this music was. How objectively good it was (the average bluegrass musician can play circles around the average rock musician), and the need for it in this life. And in the words of emmylou Harris: “once I became converted to country music — there’s no other word for it — but I became obnoxious trying to get people to listen to it” (I’m paraphrasing)

As far as song recommendations, I’d have to know more about your specific taste or what kind of songs would speak to you. So I can only make general recommendations.

Everyone loves Johnny Cash as a whole. I don’t think I know a single person who doesn’t love Seminole Wind by John Anderson. or Kiss An Angel Good Morning by Charley Pride. or Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell. Maybe listen to Drive by Alan Jackson. or Pancho And Lefty by Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard. Everything That Glitters Is Not Gold by Dan Seals. George Strait is the king of course, so maybe any of his biggest hits. I don’t know if you’d like the real twangy stuff or not. Or the cowboy stuff. Maybe you’d like the modern red dirt scene. So maybe check out Turnpike Troubadours. I think in general 90s country is also a good general gateway, because the music is so fun. Everyone loves blasting 90s country on a hot summer day and throwing a couple back. If you like being depressed, however, may I suggest Traveling Alone by Jason Isbell? If you like 70s, definitely check out Waylon or Emmylou Harris. If you wanna understand what I mean about country music being the voice for the forgotten, perhaps I could interest you in Mamas Hungry Eyes by Merle Haggard.

But yeah idk lol I’d need more details about you

#ask and ye shall receive

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mealvaan · 2 months ago

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Lend an Ear

Under the banner of Garlemald, the Decurion would commit all manner of atrocities. It was here in the privacy of his bedroom that he indulged in his most shameful act, one that he could no longer justify as a sacrifice for the greater good.

There were curtains, he made sure of it; he penned with an inconsistent hand and still hid behind his mother's name. He found it made his heart all the easier to bear.

As a final precaution, he made sure to always start his letters with a lie.

Dear Gale,

Thank you for the garments. My little sister greatly appreciates them. We've not much to our name, and it's nice for her to have something for special occasions.

He indulged his quill in another dip. He couldn't even imagine what a sister of his would look like, or if he even had one. It was difficult to conjure the image of himself fresh-faced, inkblots in place of features. The lies died short and he moved onto the next paragraph.

Advice from Garlean political philosophy: If your negotiators show you what they want, you'll find out what they need. Not many people understand what they need, truly. You could apply this to your suitors. If you're able to glean why they want you in their words, you can glean what there is to offer in lieu of your hand. This way, it's also not as if you're giving something back. They remain ingratiated to you because unlike marriage, a favor is not a two-way street.

Alternatively, there is always the option of your more embarrassing suitors suffering an unfortunate 'accident'. In a hypothetical, of course.

He wondered what Gale Amante looked like to earn the admiration that they did. It was difficult to glean an attractive Ishgardian in his mind; those he'd met struck an unflattering silhouette in bulky chainmail uniform and square helms, making it all the easier to knock their heads around. Perhaps under the helms there were pretty faces. Unfortunately, no face was pretty in the throes of war, nor with glassy, dead eyes. The real star they lived in was not a romantic frame of reference.

He imagined Gale penning this letter. Perhaps girlishly, kicking their feet towards the ceiling and smiling puckered. Hiding his letters in their bedside drawer or under their pillow, then retrieving them moments later just to read them again. It was an indulgent, fluttering thought, one that he knew to plague only the hearts of schoolgirls.

Forgive me. Killing has become such a recurring thread in our lives that it's become part of my comical lexicon. I trust you understand that I'm not truly suggesting it.

Though, sometimes the sinless acts of man become their own kind of violence. We often speak ill of the common traumas: those wrought in red, black and blue. However, I find the trauma of social expectation to be far more permeable, and profess far more damage to the soul.

What of the systematic trauma we impose on our Viera young, that they must conform to a path of solitude for characteristics only developed epochs into their lives? What of the trauma of religion, where one's life is considered only valuable when it suits the mold of a particular philosophy's law? Do these not also kill in a way more permeable than the mercy of death? Have they not killed historically?

A deep breath wracked through him to stay his shaking hand. This was hedonism, and as monastic as he acted, he knew it well. A terrible pall took hold of him as he scribbled.

In the face of this suppression, is killing truly the worst that man can commit? Amid the trauma of societal ills, the imposition of a false truth in the name of culture, violence is the most direct translation of our inner will to worldly form. Death may be our only way to overcome these impositions. Certainly, the change of the guard is inevitable, but to tie the pace of change to the slow roll of the generation is wilful ignorance.

Philosophy aside, it feels good, cathartic, an instrument of closure, does it not? To impose your will? Make a tangible mark upon the world where words fail to?

It was as if at the end of the sentence he came to. This letter could not be sent. It was more akin to a diary entry or a confessional. He couldn't burden his mark with thoughts he wouldn't even express under his own name.

Yet as his eyes met the nearby candle, he couldn't bring the letter to bear. He had to send it. He had to understand if anyone felt the way he did. If Gale understood him as they had time and time again.

He buffered the missive with what he thought was a lie.

I am still saddened to see so many fall to the Empire, though.

And he signed it.

Sincerely yours,

Nerva aan La'phir

And he sealed it.

#Lukas oen Krieger #Gale Amante #FFXIVWrite #FFXIVWrite2024

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perecreate · 4 months ago

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Paprika: An Explosion of Imagination (Revision)

Dreams, free of all physical forms and logical thought system, is an unpredictable yet imaginative experience that occurs in bits of our lives. The film Paprika released in 2006 is a masterpiece directed by Satoshi Kon, as it jumps back and forth on the boundaries of real and imagined worlds. Following the sight of Paprika, or Dr. Chiba Atsuko (Megumi Hayashibara), we get to witness different dreams of many characters as their minds rip away from reality, and dive deep into a complex conspiracy.

Launched by Dr. Chiba and her colleague Dr. Kosaku Tokita (Toru Furuya), the dream device DC Mini is invented and in development for purposes of dream psychotherapy. DC Mini gives those who are connected to the device the ability to enter one’s dream, which allows the patient and therapist to be in the same dream created by the patient’s subconscious mind. Such a therapy method was introduced in the beginning of the film, when policeman Konakawa and Paprika dives into his dream relative to his pursuit of a criminal.

Interestingly to say, Paprika’s motif on the topic of dream and reality penetrates throughout the entire film; the boundaries of reality and dreams are meant to be the reflection of one’s self, the outer mind and inner mind. Neither can be dismissed.

Let’s observe Chiba Atsuko and Paprika, they originate from the same person, which is Chiba herself. But the way they talk and interact is apparently distinct from each other. Chiba is an attractive woman that speaks stoically. She barely smiles, and tends to distance herself away from everyone else except Tokita. Her dark blue hair is clipped up as she always walks fast like the wind. Ever before the end of the film Chiba stands as the definition of permanence. Same suit, same High heels, same attitude to almost everyone around her. If anyone were to be the “antonym” of Chiba, it would be Paprika. She exhibits an expressive kind of beauty, making her a lovely and friendly woman just from her appearance; the color of her bright red blouse t-shirt makes her someone attractive and a tolerant figure like the sun. But is it really possible to say that they are not the same, and should be judged as two different figures?

Paprika: “Leave that irresponsible fatso!”

Chiba Atsuko: “Why won’t you listen to me? You’re a part of me!”

Paprika: “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re a part of me?”

Here comes the paradox, Paprika and Chiba are different people, but similar enough to call each other the reflection of themselves. Just like what we previously said, Paprika originates from Chiba, nevertheless, Paprika prefers to be identified as herself, and not Chiba. In fact, Paprika never once says that she is part of Chiba, and she sees Chiba as another individual: “If anything happens to Atsuko, use the…” is what Paprika tells Dr. Shima (Hori Katsunosuke) in dream of finding Tokita’s consciousness. Therefore, Chiba and Paprika both sense the difference between them, and does not consider their existence presents because of the other’s presence; they live with their own minds.

The lack of logic is perfectly explained by the imperfect yet powerful imagination of dreams. Which eventually concludes a paradoxical message regarding dream and reality. They stand as two sides, having their pros and cons, and inseparable of one another.

Feel free to check out my personal film blog site: https://perecreate3.wordpress.com/

#cinematography #film review #filmography #paprika #satoshi kon #movie review #movies #anime film

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mewnekoice-mecha · 6 months ago

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Hope

@selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs

youtube

GL doing a mashup for a Project, Bungou gang hear part of it while still in the game. Play video when Part 2 is spoken. (Don't own video or other images)

It was another day for the Bungou cast. When they tune in to see what GL was up to today. Logining in they noticed that GL wasn't alone, other than her there were three males and one other female. Also, music was playing in the background, but it sounded.....off?

"Hey, what's GL doing? Who are those people?" Atsushi asked. "Not sure but whatever is going on, I think were about to get a clue." Ranpo said.

It suddenly went dark, before words showed on a board behind them. "Is this what I think,"Kunikida.

Part 2: Wild & Free (GL, Female, Male) "Huh, whatever this is, is being done in movements," Dazai speculated.

Baby, this is what you came for Lightning strikes every time she moves

We're all bored, we're all so tired of everything We wait for trains that just aren't coming We show off our different scarlet letters— Trust me, mine is better I was so much younger yesterday

You're a real life fantasy, you're a real life fantasy (huh!) But you're moving so carefully; let's start living dangerously

Deep in my bones, I can feel you Take me back to a time only we knew Hideaway, I… (I wanna feel you un—feel you under my body) We could waste the night with an old film Smoke a little weed on the couch in the back room Hideaway, I… When I'm low, low, low, low I, oh, I, oh, I Got me feeling drunk and high So high, so high (Ah Ah Ah) Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I Now I'm feeling drunk and high So high, so high (Ah Ah Ah)

Can't keep my hands to myself I thank God every day (u-huh) (My hands to myself) That I woke up feelin' this way (Can't keep my hands to myself)

"wow, this isn't just one song is it," Chuuya remarked. "This is an amazing talent."

Don't give up, I won't give up (woo-hoo) Don't give up, no no no (I won’t give up) Don't give up, I won't give up (woo-hoo) Don't give up, no no no

Cause I got that sunshine in my pocket Got that good soul in my feet I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops, ooh (I’m a cool girl) I can't take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally (I love cheap thrills) Hey Room on lock the way we rock it, so don't stop (I love cheap thrills) We're gonna be alright

Baby, don't you know All them tears gon' come and go Baby, you just gotta make up your mind That every little thing is gonna be alright You don't gotta go to work

Gimme the ting and make me rock in a dance (work, work, work) Gimme the ting and make me rock in a dance (work, work, work, work) Mash it up, hot step in a dance (work, work, work, work) Gimme the ting and make me rock (work, work, work) Light it up

He won't touch you like I do (Let me love you) He won't love you like I would (Let me love you) He don't know your body, he don't do you right (woo) He won't love you like I would Love you like I would You’ll never bring me down (woo)

(He) Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here (woo) Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself (oh) Like we used to do… (He) Oh oh oh here oh oh oh here (woo shit) And I can't wait till we can break up outta here ("Nah" to the "Ah" to the "No", "No", "No")

Here oh, oh, oh He better call Becky with the good hair

As that part faded, new words showed up.

Part 3: Hurt & Lost

(I) Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise (War zone, war zone, war zone, war zone) There's no use crying about it Darling, all I know is we're hiding away from this tonight Sad song, Oh, this tonight, sad song

I'm praying to catch you whispering (Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah) No easy love could ever make me feel the same I got high as your expectations Last night, I came to a realization And I hope you can take it No, I'm too good to you

But, baby, don't get it twisted You was just another man on the hit list Tryna fix your inner issues with a bad bitch Didn't they tell you that I was a savage? Fuck your white horse and a carriage Bet you never could imagine Daddy told me “Go, go ahead now.”

[Shot gun] I know what you did last summer (ah-ah) Just lie to me there's no other (he-ey) I know what you did last summer Tell me where you've been You needed me (hoo-woo hoo-woo-woo hoo-woo) On that, it's almost shocking Gone, gone (ho-yeah)

In the night she hears him calling (woo) In the night she's dancing to relieve the pain That's why I need a one dance Got a Hennessy in my hand With you in the middle (we don't have to go out) I'm just a sucker for pain

(Oh) Soon I'll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me? (Oh) Soon I'll be sixty years old (you were so perfect) You were a, you were a perfect illusion (ah)

Ah-ah

"AH WHAT'S GL DOING," Kenji yelped in shocked, as GL was now the only person being shown, sadly smiling at the camera.

GL: True love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption, and my torture became my remedy.

Part 4: Relief & Reminiscence

(Something bout you)

I hate you, I love you I hate that I love you Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you I hate you, I love you I hate that I want you You want her, you need her And I'll never be her

This was all you, none of it me You put your hands on, on my body and told me Mmm That was what you told me

I'm giving you up I've forgiven it all You set me free

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet? Good

Can't you see there's no other man above you? What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you Hold up, they don't love you like I love you Slow down, they don't love you like I love you

I hop up out the bed and get my swag on Baby I just need one good one to stay (Ba ba ba ba ba) Hey

I'll stop time for you The second you say you'd like me too (Ah ah oh ah ah) I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing Baby, just to wake up with you Would be everything I need and this could be so different Tell me what you want to do (standing with the army)

Dark times Baby when we were young There was nothing to make believe (Bright side) And the songs that we sang They were written for you and me But yet it's everything So don't change a thing We both know what they say about us Now you need to forward and give me all the…

Work, work, work, work, work, work He said me hafi Work, work, work, work, work, work He see me do mi Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt! And so me put in Work, work, work, work, work, work

(Woo) Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out (Woo) Are we out of the woods? Hey!

Remember when you hit the brakes too soon? Twenty stitches in the hospital room When you started cryin', baby, I did, too But when the sun came up, I was lookin' at you Remember when we couldn't take the heat I walked out and said, "I'm settin' you free," But the monsters turned out to be just trees And when the sun came up, you were lookin' at me

It was just like a song My God, this reminds me Of when we were young

If you're ready, if you're ready (send my love to your new lover) If you're ready, I'm ready (treat her better) We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts We both know we ain't kids no more

Come on, let it go (If you're ready, if you're ready) Just let it be (If you're ready, I'm ready) Why don't you be you (If you're ready, if you're ready) And I'll be me?

I'm only one (my youth is yours) Call away (wild wild) I'll be there to save the day (wild wild) (We ain't ever getting older) You're driving me wild, wild, wild (Shake, Bend and break, but I can't turn away) You're driving me wild, wild, wild (and it's driving me wild) We ain't ever getting older

It was just like a movie It was just like a song When we were young

Silence, before cheers erupted from the cast. they got so hyped they started spaming the game in text feature with gifts and outfits.

"Hey GL, you're phone is spasing out, you got a date or something," a male said, grabbing GL attention.

"No, wonder what's going on...huh what in the?" GL was shocked to see she had new gifts from her Bungou game, out of nowhere. It was a mystery.

#self aware bungou #for fun #songfic #youtube #singing #bungou stray dogs au #bungou stray dogs #Youtube

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sakura-otome · 8 months ago

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Currently Playing

Matsurika no Kei -kEi - Tenmeiiniden

マツリカの炯 - kEi - 天命胤異伝

NO-SPOILER OVERVIEW OF SETTING AND CHARACTERS

SETTING

The game is marketed as Sino-fantasy and “Mature” romance. It takes place in this fictional country Gekka no Kuni (月下の国), quite simply the “country under the moon” and, the surrounding unnamed countries and small villages and peoples. It’s sort of like the greater Han Chinese culture plus the small ethnic groups like those in Mongolia, if we were to make real life comparisons. The vibe is very much an ancient society that is brutal and shit’s unfair, but that’s how it is. The caveat is that magic is real. Mystical Beasts are very real and known to exist, as well as people called Senkou (仙虹), or Sages, who are ordinary humans who, through many years of intense training and study, become very long-lived or immortal and gain essentially magical abilities.

The creation story plays a pretty big role in the story as a whole, with different individual components being highlighted in each of the routes (that I have done thus far). The creation story says that 999 years ago, the land was being terrorized by Shikyo (四凶), or the Four Calamity’s, which are Mystical Beasts. They were defeated by the Shiseijuu (四聖獣) or Four Holy Beasts, also Mystical Beasts, who worked hand in hand with a great sage Ko Unyou who went on to create the country.

Now, our MC, “Naya” is from a small and very mystical village “Matsurika”, which lies just outside of Gekka no Kuni in the mountains north of the capital city. This village is very unique, being hidden behind a strange mist deep in the mountains, only accessible to the villagers and a special merchant who has the official seal of a Flame Merchant. Anybody who doesn’t fit these requirements would simply get lost in the mountains if they walked past the line of Red Jasmine Flowers and into the mist. If you try to take the Jasmine that grows there out of the village, it turns to dust the moment you step past the line of Red Jasmine. It only grows in Matsurika village, and nowhere else.

In this village that is shut off from the rest of the world, they don’t worship the Shiseijuu. Instead they worship Keisei (蛍聲), who dislikes fire, which makes it so that it’s impossible to start a fire in the village. Due to this, they must purchase fire from the Flame Merchant every three months, as no matter what they do, the flame always dies out after three months. As they don’t have money, they barter with uncut gemstones referred to as Hougyoku no Genseki (宝玉の原石), which can only be differentiated from ordinary rocks with the use of the Keigan (炯眼), which are essentially magic eyes (think Naruto). The Keigan is an ability that only manifests in the girls of Matsurika village, and there is only ever one user at a given time. It is not genetic, and if the current holder dies, it will be passed on at random to any of the other girls of the village. It is our MC that has the Keigan.

THOUGHTS ON WORLD BUILDING

I think it’s very fantastical, and feels a lot like I’m reading the inner details of a mythological story. All of the characters feel very much “of the setting”. Naya, the MC, is raised in a very safe and sheltered village receiving a lot of love and care growing up, but the outside world is harsh and unforgiving. Gender roles are deeply embedded in the culture, and the importance of marriage and having and raising children is just a part of life. A small village like hers needs all the people they can get, and they all celebrate and raise children as a village.

On the other hand, Gekka is a very big country with many people and places within the country that suffer from the usual: poverty, illness, starvation, cruelty, discrimination, etc., and it isn’t uncommon for children to be abandoned or sold.

I really feel that they did a very good job of incorporating the reality of the kind of deeply held beliefs and prejudices that lead to awful treatment of people for unfair, but very human reasons. The people of Gekka regard tribes and people like the White Wolf Tribe and Matsurika Villagers who don’t worship the Shiseijuu as “Kizoku”, who are essentially heretics or “unbelievers.” Matsurika Village has a belief that “mixed blood” children – children born from a Matsurika woman and an outsider – bring calamity and curse the village. They are taught from childhood to never ever mingle with outsiders or leave the village. They chase both mother and child out of the village, should it happen, and they have a deep disgust and fear of this.

I will say, the overall tone is very serious which given the setting is understandable, but I kind of wish they incorporated a little more humor and lighthearted moments. There just aren’t very many mental breaks from the harshness of life.

CHARACTERS

PROTAGONIST

System Default Name: Naya

She is one of five young women in Matsurika Village to become 18 and reach the age of majority at the Keisei Festival. As the holder of the Keigan, her job is to assess the stones gathered for valuable gemstones, which is essential for Flame Trade. She has a lot of pride in this position, and a deep sense of responsibility, as her mother was the previous Keigan holder, before she passed away in childbirth and passed the Keigan on to her. This is noted to be very unusual, as the Keigan has never been passed directly from a mother to her child in this manner. She was raised by Agedo, the village leader alongside his children, one of which is the game’s LIs, Fei.

I think her design is very cute, and I love the aesthetic of her and Maturika Village’s tribal attire. I’m not generally into heterochromia, but it doesn’t look bad at all on her. She’s not particularly headstrong, but she’s a sweet and earnest girl that outside of her magic eye is honestly just an average village girl. She honestly deserves better, oml.

THE LOVE INTERESTS

Age: 21 VA: Okamoto Nobuhiko Route Restrictions: Must clear Ruwo, Seirin, Zebenera, and Enrai routes.

The main man. His route is locked behind the four other LIs, so you know it’s a big deal. He is the only son of the Village leader, and apparently harbors some secrets/fears regarding his duties as a man of the lead family that makes him hesitant to act on his feelings towards Naya.

Personally I find his design to be the most appealing, and it’s interesting to see Okamoto play a character that’s more ~ fresh ~ and youthful, rather than deep, threatening and smexy loll.

Name: Ruwo Age: 23 VA: Yamashita Seiichiro Route Restrictions: None

The Flame Merchant, and the only outsider permitted to enter the village on a consistent basis. He’s very friendly and flirty, but he keeps people at arms length and doesn’t want to let anyone close to him lest he lose his drive to accomplish his goal. As a player of Twisted Wonderland, I very much compare him to Ace because of them having the same VA, and they have the same easy going attitude. I like his design fine, but I’m not particularly struck by it. It’s ok.

Name: Zebenera Age: 25 VA: Hatano Wataru Route Restrictions: None

The King of the White Wolf Tribe, who live in the snowy mountains north of the mountain where Maturika village is. He bears the burden and responsibility of keeping his dying people alive. He’s generally a quiet guy who isn’t good at conversation, but you can see that his actions all have a deep underlying kindness. I generally love white haired characters, and I think his fit is cool, and while I feel his design is good, it’s nothing special.

Name: Ko Seirin Age: 17 VA: Tachibana Shinnosuke Route Restrictions: None

The one and only prince of Gekka no Kuni. He appears to be very sheltered and naive to the ways of the world, as Naya first meets him getting in trouble for having accidentally stolen food from a vendor because he didn’t know that he needed to pay for it. However, he has deep self awareness of what is expected of him and his place in the political landscape, and struggles with a deep sense of loneliness. I’ve never found the beautiful type characters immediately attractive, but I don’t dislike his design. It’s very ethereal, and the voice acting does a great job balancing that soft lightness and hints of darkness.

Name: Ku Enrai Age: 27 VA: Horie Shun. Route Restrictions: Must clear Ruwo, Seirin, and Zebenera routes.

The head of the Ku clan, which is a powerful family with the longstanding trust of the Imperial Ko family. He is the designated educator of the prince, Ko Seirin. He is a very intense guy with deep loyalty to Seirin, and wishes to see him become a great leader and King. His clan has an old, long standing desire that is very close to being realized. I wasn’t that into his design at first, but it grew on me pretty quickly. Also has major Sasazuka vibes, with him being an asshole and a manlet.

COMMON ROUTE

The story begins with the approach of the annual Keisei Festival, and the sudden inexplicable extinguishing of the flame just one day after it was purchased. Naya, having a map given to her by Ruwo, makes the decision to go to the capital of Gekka breaking the rules of her village, to buy another flame and come back before this incident is discovered by the rest of the villagers and in time for the Kesei Festival.

From there we begin to branch out into two major story flows, which further break down into the individual routes. One gets her involved with the Imperial Love Interests, and the other has her leading into the rest of the routes.

Without revealing too much, Naya ends up fucking really going through it. Like it’s super fucking depressing. The end of common route is just. Man. If you want to feel the full impact of it though, I suggest going through either Zebenera or Ruwo first. It still happens in the leadup to Seirin's route, but it just isn't as visceral and personal as it is in the lead up to either Zebenera or Ruwo routes.

#マツリカ #Maturika no kEi #otome

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