#like this time of pain
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the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot
#like literally every time ive hesitated sending a text or complimenting someone or stuff ive thought of it#like youre right. what if i played it a little risky what do i have to lose in doing a nice thing!!!!!! ur so right!!!!!!!!#but its forever lost cos i cant search it with any words cause its an image#misery and pain. you know how it is#my post
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is it really true that the average person's pain level is a 0?
#it doesn't make sense#surely not#y'all /aren't/ in pain all the time??#celeste talks#chronic pain#?#it feels wrong to call it that given that it's nowhere near as bad as how I've heard others describe chronic pain#but like#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k#10k#🎉🎉🎉🎉#first 10k post wahoo#<- didn't anticipate more than 30 notes#15k#!!!!!!
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#ughh im going to watch house#to keep even a fraction of my will to live#but holy fucking shit how am i suppposed to live like this#and it doesnt even get better#well it does#but goddamn thats a lot of pain and hurt and fucking hell a year is too long to live like that#and im supposed to be okay and fine with it because...?#ugh. its like it gets better but kinda better in the sense that i have to live a Complicated Adult Life like most adults do#which fine. fair. but holy shit i wish there was soemthing better to live for sometiems#like this time of pain#and then another 5 years of working myself until im burnt through#and then finally at least leaving#like holy fuck surely if something cared itd be easier#you know what i wanna do like right now#a friend offered to get drunk with me in the park#i want to get wasted in the park have pizza go lie in the grass and deal with the consequences later#because fuck. even if im not doing anythign wrong even life is awful#i just want something to be better and somethign at least to let me live
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Chronic pain pisses me off cause I'm not even incapacitated for like a cool or badass reason instead my body is throwing the world's biggest temper tantrum because it's raining outside
#it feels like i got jumped by seven people but NO#if my body is going to make me feel like ive been stabbed five thousand times i should at least get a sword fight out of it im just saying#fibromyalgia#fibropain#fibro problems#fibro flare#fibro#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#chronic illness#hypermobility#hypermobile#hypermobility syndrome#spoonie#disabled#actually disabled#disability#c punk#cripple punk
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Being chronically ill is like
“It’s fine”
“It’s fine”
“It’s fine”
*complete mental breakdown because you can’t do this anymore*
“It’s fine”
#I can feel the menty b coming#when I do a lot of activity I end up with sustained flu-like symptoms until I recharge but I don’t have time to recharge for 2 more days#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#disability#disabled#lupus#fibromyalgia#pots#autoimmine disease#invisible disability#invisible illness
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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pain sharing curse au feat wolfie :)
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I hc that every time he transforms into wolfie (and back to a hylian) he feels the same pain he felt during that one cutscene in twilight princess when he first transforms, but he’s so used to it and also he’s built his pain tolerance a lot because of it, that he doesn’t mind it anymore
anyway, wolfie is banned
also I know four shrinks and splits in canon but like, he doesn’t look to be in pain during it… TIME THOUGH…TIME RELATES
#I like it when twilight is a lil fucked up lol#linkeduniverse#linked universe#lu twilight#lu wolfie#lu four#lu wind#lu wild#lu fanart#lu comic#lu pain sharing au#lu time#the screaming twilight and time do whenever they transform in their games is just ouuugh#like twi screams once during the first transformation but time screaming every time u use a mask hahaha#the pain (literally)#miry's art
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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a quick silly sketch based off my earlier post about the Cat King having a mistaken identity crisis when Edwin and Co. don't recognize him in his new cat form post-esther
#catwin#the cat king#edwin paine#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers#my art#if you saw this post earlier no you didnt#stupid sketch just to get it out of my head lol#he's in trouble boys#I haven't decided how i want to draw Edwin yet bear with me#this is like the first time ive touched my tablet since i went numb so its a little shitty but#it feels nice to make even a little bit of art
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'art idea that's above your skill set' and 'writing idea that's above your skill set' are tortures I wish upon absolutely no one man
#nerfed by god forsaken by fate etc pain dude#its not impossible even like it just takes time#which just so happens to be the one resource that constantly shrinks and that you cant create more of
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This probably isn't entirely in character but it's based on an exchange I had & I thought it would be silly with these two
#i dont think im like jake but i took a few 'which AT character are you' and i got jake twice in a row#im embracing it. and giving him my back pain.#except for him it IS because hes old. for me its because of my bad posture.#finn and jake#adventure time#jake the dog#finn the human#finn mertens#my art#goodies
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i'm living the dream, in the dream, i'm buried alive two bed grave, one bath, car in the drive mirrored covered windows block the light feeding back reflection distorts life cut connection — jesca hoop
#girlypops your payneland into comfortland. i love it when nothing bad happens to them for twelve minutes max#dead boy detectives#payneland#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives fanart#charles rowland#edwin payne#edwin paine#dbda#dead boy detectives art#dbda fanart#painland#paynland#dbda show#OKAY LISTEN this is a lil birthday gift i scribbled for the WONDERFUL @hartigays#i love you (platonic) i love you (so devoted the lines blur) i love you (like a cat loves their nap time and scratching expensive furniture#i just couldn't wait! hopefully you'll see this in the morning and be happy <3#btw be honest. how many of you didn't know i drew. surprise#(it's because i'm always on this damn website and keep the creatures in my wips like a fool)#colored sketch#sketch#drawing#forehead kisses#my art#art#artists on tumblr
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i wouldn't have met you
#guess whats stuck in my head now#i actually havent caught onto any shows or series for several years and to follow up this one i think has been really pleasant#and painful#its been really nice to see closure for simon hes such an old man skrunkle#i dont even watch a lot of AT in the past but i do know enough to feel that pain like Man i almost forgot shows can be Worth it#fionna the human#fionna campbell#cake the cat#simon petrikov#and a tiny dash of#winter king#qiiarts#fionna and cake#adventure time
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mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
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Guess who caught up in the manga
#everything went so wrong so fast in the manga. recommend reading if you like pain#fanart#myart#doodle time 😎#jjk#jujutusu kaisen#jjk manga spoilers#chosoyuki#yuki tsukumo#choso kamo#jjk choso#choso brain: weird ✅ offputting ✅ baby ❌ girl ❌. but who else could she possibly be referring to#yuki my beloved you were too good for gege he did you too dirty
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