#like this isnt me bitching about them being non sharing this is me bitching about life being unfair

[soleillunne]

It will forever haunt me that I can't speak to some people here bc we share f/os

Don't get me wrong I respect your decision of being non-sharing fully and I'll fight anyone who dares say otherwise but god fucking damn it you look like sunshine personified and I can't talk to you :(

[l0viez]

Back again with another dumbass "imagine sagau fics"

Im going crazy either way its fine. Anyways imagine having MEGAN in a Sagau fanfic lmao, (if you havent watched the movie yet , i 97% recommend!)

SAGAU ;

Imagine having MEGAN as a gift or just a comfort "toy" to have gifted by someone and ever since that day you guys became like twins , technically glued to eachother☠️

Being in a SAGAU with MEGAN is like having a bulletproof bodyguard

Devoted Followers, Vessels, Personal Bodygaurd, Worshipper Who??? I only know MEGAN

Whenever theres someone trying to attack you aka their "grace" , MEGAN will slice their throat in half in like 0.1 faster than xiao teleporting to traveller whenever they call his name/hj

Your "followers" in teyvat WILL glare at MEGAN and if you tell them to leave MEGAN alone MEGAN will smirk at them like "I win btch" but if you just brush it off or like laugh it off MEGAN will death glare at them back

MEGAN has the "grace's right hand" privileges, Shes like your co-worker or vice-president or sum LMAO

The non humans (yk like Archons,, Venti, Zhongli, Ei, Xiao, Ganyu, and etc) would be like salty or envy over the fact you hang out with MEGAN and has more trust on MEGAN than them, like they has been worshipping you for what?? 99999+ years, centuries?? what did that "doll" do to gain your attention like that??😦

I feel like the ones that would accept MEGAN whole heartedly and would love her /p is the childrens or the teens,, if that makes sense😭 ! (Klee, Diona, Qiqi, Sayu, YaoYao, Dori, Xiangling, Noelle, Collei, Fischl, Bennet and more)

Since MEGAN has that fighting skills noelle would probably ask MEGAN for some advice so she can be apart of the KOF (as usual) ! and MEGAN would use her "robotic skills" and just give out noelle the whole description on how to fight and stuff it probs took like 3-6hours for MEGAN to finish bc noelle wants to know alot😭

It would be more cooler if like MEGAN plays genshin or like knows all the lore and characters (the power she holds☠️)

Whenever you sneak out, go on a meeting, went out to buy some stuff , went to travel you bet your ass MEGAN will be beside u 24/7 even if the mobs dont attack you MEGAN would still be on gaurd to make sure nothing harms you

MEGAN would play some songs back in your world if you feel stressed out by the work and responsibilities

MEGAN would make a deal with the fatui or the abyss to secretly spy on you where ever or whenever you go (its not like you will leave without her🫣!!!)

MEGAN gives me that platonic yandere vibes so if you ever have "secret admirers" , MEGAN would scan that letter properly and find your admirers house and "talk" to them nicely to stop bothering you

MEGAN would have that resting bitch face on 24/7 but whenever you talk to her she would look so bubbly and nice, but whenever your not around shes so close on choking the people that has been "eyeing" you whenever you breathe, theyre lucky that you told MEGAN to not harm anyone

MEGAN wouldnt give a damn fck about visions, like she would think its useless but the fatui would give her a delusion either way😭👆🏻 (you requested it)

MEGAN would find a way to either destory teyvat or make a portal to make you both go back home cause she doesnt plan on sharing you with anyone any time soon shes only having thin patience around these mfs , but she has to play nice for now😄‼️

IMPOSTER AU! SAGAU ;

you both somehow got teleported in genshin, idk how maybe MEGAN like heard you say you wanted to go to teyvat and MEGAN is like "im a robot i can do technology i can do portal shit lets go"

so now here you both are, eating soup in a small little camp and some fruit giving by some monsters you two met along the way! isnt that nice:')))

You had abit of wound, you were thinking you would have more wound than the wounds you got but suprise suprise MEGAN protected your sorry ass

looks like MEGAN has to train harder but good thing she still have some tricks on her sleeves

MEGAN doesnt mind threatening off a few "side characters" so you two would survive

MEGAN would send death threats to the "creator//the real imposter" and she would have it in like some of the archon's handwriting without signing (bc in the movie she managed to make a masterpiece of a drawing like zamn😭)

MEGAN would give out fake informations and will say its from the "creator//the real imposter" so they would believe it but it will take like a 1-2 year from them to realized that someone has been spreading fake informations

MEGAN would sneak in the academy and do some chaos in any technology plans they have just to make distractions and give you time to get like items you both might need

If the fatuis know your the real creator and take you both in, MEGAN would only help out the fatuis by giving out personal informations of other characters that they call themselves "devoted worshippers"

MEGAN would probably be great friends with Sandrone & scaramouche

MEGAN would be "friendly friendly" with dottore just to get more technology uses😭

MEGAN has thoughts on just beating the shit out of childe (and probably dottore) but she choose not because she doesnt have time to play around with "childe-rens" and has to be by your side 24/7

but If the abyss finds you both first

ofc they would take you both in and MEGAN would also share some tips or advice to defeat those vision users

The abyss sibling would ask your permission to take MEGAN with them from time to time to set out their plan on destorying teyvet and the people who wronged you

MEGAN was abit hesitant at first cause like,, leaving you alone with the abyss? Naur..

But then you insisted that MEGAN should go with aether (also so you can go explore the abyss abit without MEGAN breathing behind your neck😭)

MEGAN would be a trump card for the abyss like if the traveller sees their abyss sibiling with MEGAN, MEGAN would glare at them, if glaring can kill people traveller would have been dead already

and if traveler shares what he saw when he saw his sibiling to like,, someone they would probably go like "yo wait isnt that the kid with the imposter?!"

If people in teyvat finally get to their senses that the "creator" in the throne is the real imposter

they would hunt you and MEGAN down (again) but with "good intentions"

you and MEGAN would troll these bitches

MEGAN would sing creepy songs while theyre haunting at the dark

you and MEGAN will only go out at night but if theres a squad looking for you both

MEGAN would be hella overprotective and going infront of you with her weapon out while glaring at them

"Your grace!"

"Tsk. little bugs like you shouldn't show yourself infront of your "grace""

MEGAN wouldn't HESITATE too ROAST them.

and you would be laughing inside bc of it too

if ever you get recrowned as the "creator" and the real imposter gets jailed up

MEGAN will TOTURE that bitch whenever your sleeping

those "devoted followers" of yours would look at MEGAN and be like

"damn i wish i was her"

MEGAN will be your loyal bodyguard and right hand

why would you need those people when you have MEGAN who sticked with you even when you were still so young?

like you would have the largest trust issues with stuff like imagine

"(maid/bulter's name), please call zhongli."

"yes your grace!"

"yes your grace, you called?"

"please call MEGAN."

"a-"

like 😭😭😭YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING FROM THE PPL IN TEYVAT

and even if the real imposter comes back and claims their the real creator , MEGAN would know their bullshitting bc she has that scanner stuff😭‼️

MEGAN will always protect you from any harm and if something even touch you without your permission, their hand is getting cutted off

"MEGAN.. Was that really necessary..?"

"Of course, Its also my duty to make you comfortable at any time _____"

"Right,, but you didn—"

"Shush now, silly _____! I was only protecting you after all we're best friends aren't we?"

Que that person whos trynna touch you screaming in pain in the background🤭‼️

Have this shitty azz drawing❤️Goodbye xoxo

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

To the SPN fans that are hating on good omens rn bc of the leak, I hope you choke. I've seen some really nasty shit today from some of my (now unfollowed) followers whom I followed for spn content. So let's make one thing clear from actual posts ive seen today:

-Saying that the "wrong angels kissed", is...homophobic. I was with destiel from beginning to end and yeah we were completely shafted, but it's not okay to then say that other gay couples in media aren't allowed to kiss just because they aren't the ones you thought were hot. Jesus christ didn't think I needed to write that one down for ya-bo burnham

-I saw so much fatphobia about how Castiel deserved a kiss more than Aziraphel bc "he has far more sex appeal." Wtf wtf wtf. How do you live with yourselves saying that shit?You can pry Micheal Sheens body type Aziraphel out of my cold dead hands, you CW brainwashed morons!

-hate against the author for some reason, no one is willing to give specifics about it, but I think the majority of them maintain that GO is not good rep because they didn't kiss and now they are claiming pandering or something? Honestly that guy has only ever stood with the writers guild and queer people his whole career from what I find so I don't think it's fair whatever hate they are spouting. He isnt even saying he is upset with fans that saw or shared the video. Hes being super nice about it!

-I will say, non of us SPN fans have a fucking leg to stand on when it comes to hating something bc of the authors, OK. I saw someone saying the writing for spn was better and I can say you did not watch the show. I loved spn but don't do the late Terry Pratchett like this. He did nothing wrong

-on that same ish strain, as an ace person who thrives off queerplatonic relationships in media, maybe they kiss, I dunno. I just have to wait until the season comes out. Not 1 SPN fan gets to bitch about GO asexualty rep when SPN never even tried that route with any of its characters. But also ace characters are allowed to kiss, so you can write them that way of you want and interpret them that way if you want still. This is your viewing experience.

-this leak is truly not the same as the SPN yo a ti leak, solely bc the episode hasn't aired yet. "None of you GO fans would have survived the yo a ti leak." No I think you wouldn't bc the spn leak was clinging to an already mangled straw, while the angel's in GO are queer already. Queer queer queer and no amount of kissing or lack thereof is going to change that. We have no idea what happens in that episode of GO, but we saw the creators butcher the only moment in the show that could have meant anything real for queer viewers in SPN.

-"SPN crowly was kissing dudes first so this one is not that impressive". I see two cakes. One was made with the intent to make gay people look evil, but over time got kinda funny and a little better bc gay people liked it, and the other was about telling an interesting story about how love is so important, especially at the end of the world, and gay people liked that one too! So for me it's YaY two cakes!

-again the anti aziraphel is so plainly just fatphobia. You have no excuses. Sorry you don't think someone who looks like a slightly chubby micheal sheen could ever get kissed by someone who looks like David tennant, but you are not only wrong, you are also childish.

OK I'm done. Go watch good omens s2 when it comes out for my fucking sanity please. Or don't if all you are going to do is try to rip it apart like you do to all media that tries to be better.

[l3viat8an]

hello Ro!! :) honestly i gotta say you're SO comfortable to talk to like you're such a comfort writer omg😭 and ive sent msgs in anon before but if i could, could i be 🍭 anon?

anyway i had a thought to share!!

imagine a MC who isnt from a english-speaking country, but learnt english fluently and can speak it very well! of course, MC still has their traditions n stuff memorizd and especially their native language (lowkey me tbh)

and the brothers have never heard this MC speak their native language b4, so just imagine them being in an argument and MC gets super pissed and just screams all kinds of curses at 'em in their native language and theyre js like 🕴🏿 what did u js say..???

can defintely imagine mammon or/and leviathan being all star struck and looking at MC as he lowkey tears up cuz what if they just said "i hate you" or something?? they NEED to know what you're saying. will probably learn the whole language just to know what they say when they get pissed

can also imagine satan knowing the language because mans smart but he doesnt know the slang and curses, will defs go to MC after the argument and after theyve made up and asked them what they said (scream at lucifer in front of satan with words in ur native language that you teached him and he will throw a fit of laughter)

i just really enjoy a non native english speaker(?) MC talking shit about others

Omgg thank you 😭🧡 honestly I just like talkin’ with y’all!!! It sm fun <3 and ofc you can 🍭

This is such a cool idea!! (I mean I personally love the hc that the brothers all know a bunch of different languages but there’s always more to learn!!)

‘n I totally agree that Mammon and Levi, maybe even Beel all stop to just watch you bitch all the boys out in your native language, like ‘Oh, no that’s hot…are they still mad? Cuz that’s really hot-‘ it’s something about your accent too!! They’d all be a pushovers for an accent imo!!

Jskshsk Satan asking you to tell him all the best  curse words you can and then later letting Belphie in on this and explaining what the difference words mean and just how bad you’re bitching Lucifer out!!-

[s0lar-ch3ri]

fixing the pinned post (actually making it usable)

alright, since my normal one isnt usable mostly, its going bye bye (you can see what it was supposed to look like here if your interested)

hey there, im the sapphic bigender slut running this blog! i use any pronouns, though i prefer he/her. idk why but i feel like im the "me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic" meme if it applied both ways (adhd up in here too wooooooooo)

what to expect: once very blue moon an art post, a lot of jrwi rambles and comedy, some crazy theories, but lots of reblogs. i do try to do like a post that i wrote a day but with school, scroll qand reblog is the life lol

-i mostly use parenthesises and shit instead of tone tags (if needed, ill use them both)

-misspells i keep if theyre funny enough, but if unreadbale ill clarify (example: unreadable)

-the words with gender are gender neutral here. ill say girlie and my homeboy because its fun to ruin the gender concept

fandoms i post about now: scrolling back youd probs find some of my toh posts, but ive been more so on a riptide and mythborne grind. i do sometimes post on scu though! i also got my own characters lol

dni list: honestly anything for drama. of course no pedos and racsists and all that cause ill beat you on sight, just dont be a dick lol

-for asks, dont ask too personal shit or anything thatd fall under the dni list

-since im being kinda general with it, heres some specific ones for dni: those people who made weird sexualities (i mean like fucking figdetsexual and shit), politics (i may reblog on political stuff, im just spreading the message), things like that

if you wanna share more on interests, i have a card with some of my current interests and a couple places to find me maybe

asks are heavily encouraged and if you like any of my art, credit me if you get inspired and shit (dont trace please and if for whatever reason ai wants to use my art: no.)

now for what tags i use:

#jrwi by non-jrwi enjoyer = im talking to my non just roll with it friend on just roll with it

#not my usual content = might be more serious, just something i dont normally talk about (example: something that happened to me)

#silli promo = im probs promoing my fics or smth

#cheri's insane again = theories >:)

[motherofjikook]

About BTS not getting nominated for the Grammys this year...

it just comes to show that as a fandom that we need to STOP GIVING AMERICAN AWARD SHOWS CLOUT. I've been seeing a pattern of them using us by mentioning BTS and giving us empty promising only to fuck us over at the end. VMAS didnt let BTS in any of their major categories, People's Choice Award didnt care about our votes and give the award to someone else. And even with records, views, sale numbers, the impact on young society and impacting music... the Grammy didn't give us not even ONE nomination. In 2020 and in the future, we need to STOP giving clout and focus on the boys only. Yes continue to vote and collect these bags for BTS ... SILENTLY but dont rt shit, don't watch their shows, dont help them promote shit until we see RESULTS. this is all XENOPHOBIC as fuck & not being WHITE and IM TRIED! BTS DESERVE BETTER. I hope BTS doesnt take not being nominated by heart, I hope namjoon isnt crying himself to sleep tonight cause he stayed up with us. Just like Drake said last year at the Grammys, You dont need a Grammy Award to show the world that you made it. YOU ALREADY WON! if you have fans coming from the depths of hell to attend your concert, if you got the money and fame, if you got all these records under your belt, if you seriously know you made a huge impact in music....YOU FUCKING MADE IT. Armys, please continue to support BTS, & dont give attention to the Grammys and haterz. Kill them with kindness and let's move on!!! Let this be a lesson when it comes to dealing with the music industry in america. Fuck the validation!

Ps: I see antis and non-kpop stans attacking in the comment section and all i have to say about all that is that “ I said what i said, i meant what I said, and i said what i meant. Period!” You think i’m bitching about a grammy nomination when the big picture of this post is about me being tried of my fandom, my favorites, and the whole kpop industry being viewed as a joke and being mistreated in the american music industry. BTS and other artists like our girl Halsey deserved their grammy nomination too for all their hard work this year, but wbk how the grammys works so not surprised but disappointed with the results but 2020 my fandom can now start developing new ways to better handle the american music industry when they use us and continue to encourage our boys to staying themselves, not too overworking themselves to prove their worth and for us to support one another. but you antis and non educated stans aint ready for THAT conversation. So keep your negativity to yourself and focus on you& your favorites. I have the right to this post and I have the right to state my opinion! Have a good day!

Reblog & Share ♡

Cr: @motherofjikook

instagram.com/motherofjikook

[veldian]

tell us more of ur think tank hcs i personally am at the edge of my seat

HELL YEAH ALRIGHT HERE WE GO. some of these might be against canon in some way but that's your fault for trusting me with this

ALSO, AS USUAL, I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE. THIS GOT VERY LONG. when i think about the tanks i go fuckin wild with it

starting with pride headcanons to get the ball rolling

all the tanks are nonbinary, but additionally, dala is a trans woman and 0 is a trans man

8 hates gender he fucking hates it. every day he wakes up and says "today i will make gender my bitch" and then he does. he says this in the game too you just don't know cuz he only speaks in static (don't factcheck this)

if you ask 8 what pronouns she uses, they will shrug and give you a "i dunno" noise. sometimes it'll make a non-committal hand movement and some unintelligible noises. good luck

god this bitch (borous) is gay! good for him! good for him.

he's also intersex! i don't remember where we got that hc but i like it and im holding onto it

okay but borous calls himself bi because yeah Men, but he also loves dala very much and doesn't want to misgender her. also as previously stated, 8's main goal is to confuse everyone about their gender so the tanks all stick with mspec labels to be on the safe side. you never know what'll happen. gender is a ticking time bomb

bi gang: klein, borous, 0

pan gang: dala, mobius

don't ask her about any of her identities she doesn't know the answer either: 8

have i gone off about polytank dynamics enough? i don't think so

8 and dala started dating first because horny bitches gravitate towards each other. they can also "pass" as a "straight couple" so hopefully no one at work will look at them and call them slurs. hopefully

klein and borous knocked things out of the park for being the first gay scientists ever

8 and dala became polyam icons and pulled 0 in. trans bitches gravitate towards each other

klein and borous did the same with mobius. bitches with facial hair gravitate towards each other

???????

idk and then all six of them started dating somehow. the end

somewhere along the way klein and 8 were like "i like you a little too much" and now they're inseparable

okay anyway. misc hcs

ive mentioned this before but when i pretend everything is in modern times, 0 is a tiktokker and he thrives on the attention and making fun of his coworkers on the internet

"watching steven universe repeatedly when i felt even slightly bad transed my gender" - doctor 8 old world blues

i just remembered i made a carrd for the tanks as if they were kinnies in their early to mid 20s

8 kinned pearl su. borous kinned werewolf cookie. 0 kinned rimmer red dwarf. mobius kinned... morbius forbidden planet. obviously. klein refused to put his kins on it. DID DALA KIN FROM DANGANRONPA

i think at one point we had a half-joking hc where klein gets nauseous if he sees blood

and then that changed to he can't see others blood, only his own

while borous can't see his own blood, but he's fine seeing other ppl's

i know borous said that gabe barked at everyone, but i think gabe trusts the other tanks because he knows borous does

borous set up a kissing booth with gabe. the crowd goes wild

when the tanks get together they usually go to klein's. he's the leader or something. also he has a fucking bar in his house.

he complains about them the whole time but you can really tell he loves having people over. why else would he deck his house out like that? he LOVES hosting stuff. house husband

if you saw my chart where i said klein would rather die than do dishes, i was so wrong. his house is pristine. its easily the cleanest

klein's love language is acts of service. he goes over to his partners' houses when they feel awful and clean stuff up for them when they can't. he also makes them food if they want it. he only complains a little, but you can tell he's mostly teasing

did you know klein has five mugs in his kitchen in-game. he's literally prepared to host his partners at any given moment.

the group have learned that letting 8 come over when their house is a mess is a Huge mistake. it goes from 8 trying to help "tidy up" to "im going to put your books and albums in alphabetical order by artist also your clothes are going to be hue-sorted"

"8 why are there only 8 books on each of my bookshelves"

"it looks better"

"it literally does not"

8 can no longer stomach going into 0's house

on the other hand, 0 hates staying in 8's house. the ticking of all their clocks is sensory hell

on 80 date nights they have to do rock-paper-scissors for which house they go to. or they go out. they love each other but their houses drive the other fucking nuts

oh speaking of their houses. yes dala said she didn't like Literal Teddy Bears but that is null and void considering she has teddies in her house

and she has 5 on her bed. five of them :)

she named all of them after her partners! its mostly cute but there is a slight bit of concern because they know what she does with them <__<

not that 8 has any place to judge. mobius found batteries under its pillow once. all 8 said was "they can vibrate." mobius regrets touching them.

i don't know what to say about dala's mannequins i don't have anything funny im just scared

WHY ARE 0 AND KLEIN THE ONLY ONES WITH BATHROOMS IT DRIVES ME INSANE 0'S BATHTUB ISNT EVEN LAYING DOWN ITS AGAINST THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GENERATOR IN HIS BATHROOM DO THE OTHER TANKS JUST SHIT OUTSIDE I'M SEEING RED

mobius and 0 are both into robotics, and they worked together to make muggy, so they've had date nights where they mainly tinker with electronic things.

0 gets very excited when he makes a breakthrough, and seeing that warms mobius's heart. mobius made a habit of kissing 0 on the forehead or squeezing 0 into a hug when they figure things out.

(0 remembers he likes men.) 😳

dala/klein date nights are essentially just them drinking and gossiping chatting

i asked polycule for some more, so here are ones from your local think tank kinnies

borous -

"klein and borous both like classical music in very different ways. klein mostly likes it to feel smart (see: wheatley) but he just started associating it with the others so it felt nicer And borous just likes it bc hes borous"

klein also likes jazz, but so do all the rest of them

8 has a cochlear implant

"dala likes dressing up to look pretty (see: runway) but is personally embarrassed by it (until she gets encouragement) bc she feels like the others dont support that"

"0 loves collecting and reading those stupid magazines with the birthday party products and themes that ud wanna buy from as a kid but are way too expensive"

"mobius has a secret love for puppetry and will try to bring it up sometimes whenever he can. hes made 3 separate sets of the other tanks as puppets and they freak 0 out"

"borous, in an attempt to better his faults, has started learning from dala and 8 on how to take care of plants instead of what he did before. his basement turns into a cool little green house cozy cuddle area"

"to add on: 8 gardens to cope whenever hes alone bc (projects onto ur kin) he mood drops very fast when alone"

"mobius likes dressing in cozy sweaters and fancy stuff"

0 -

"0 doesn't like anal that much" (thanks.)

dala -

"their new rap album called boyz in the tanks" (THANKS.)

and to top things off, :) here are the normal names for them all, created primarily by our borous kinnie

klein - Ernest Klein (nicknamed ernie)

mobius - Wilbert Mobius (nicknamed bert)

borous - James H. Borous (nicknamed jamie)

dala - Dala Theodore (HER NICKNAME IS TEDDY ITS GENIUS)

8 - Emmett Handley (nicknamed 8 + emmy)

0 - Robert O'Barrick (nicknamed 0/O + robbie (HIM SHARING HOUSE'S NAME IS INTENTIONAL. HE'S TRANS HE PICKED HIS NAME WHY DID HE DO THIS))

[flower-of-the-desert]

Thoughts on Why R U ep12

I’m so confused now about which episode is supposed to be the official ending of the show cause I thought ep12 was it and the next episodes would extra content that might or might not have anything to do with the actual story of the show so far but now it looks like the story continues next week soooo is ep13 the last one?

Before I get into it though I want to talk about that scene. I deliberately didnt say anything about it the entire week despite teasers and whatnot because I didnt want to jump to conclusions and I wanted to judge only what I see on screen as part of the actual show. I’ve talked a little a lot cough about what I’d like to see from it with @graveformydarling​  and I have to say I’m beyond pleased to see that it went pretty much how we imagined it (minus a whole lot of desperate needy angst sex but apparently that’s for next ep  and it’s not even gonna be agsty? so double yay to all of that). Fighter drunk and jealous wants to remind Tutor of what they’ve shared and at first Tutor tries to resist but you can see the moment after the first kiss on the bed when he gets that look on his face that says I will eat this man alive in the next 2mins if someone doesnt stop me and kisses back and Fighter thinks things are ok now so he continues till Tutor snaps himself out of it and blows colder than Antarctica on Fighter who promptly breaks down and takes my heart with him.

So yeah, I dont have a problem with the way things played out and I think it was perfectly in character for both of them given the situation. Which is always a plus when you can create drama without making characters OOC.

Now onto the rest of the show!

listening to Fighter beg Tutor to tell him what he did wrong so he can change it is already hard enough but the way his voice BREAKS both in the scene with Tutor later and with his father is just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Tutor can be one cold-hearted bastard when he wants to be though like I’m not even surprised Fighter lost his shit after that

now can Tutor use that lovely skill against the people who actually deserve it pretty please???

I really like the acting after Fighter leaves like the way Tutor hits the bed and hugs himself like he’s freezing - it gives the feeling of the rage and helplessness he must be feeling at having to do all that

also I fucking knew that when Tutor gave the necklace back it would hurt like a bitch and you know what? I was right

listen, show, I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not gonna work - naked!Fighter in the shower isnt gonna distract me from the pai-

mmm, naked!Fighter in the shower niiiiice

what was I talking about? right, things! and stuff. totally unrelated to naked!Fighter in the shower

I guess Dew and Blue are friends now? at least this Dew is much better than the needlessly violent one from the start of the show; you know I could be interested in this love triangle between them and this other guy whose name I dont remember if we get to see more of them in the special eps?

noooo, Zon, dont go to the beach, look what happened to FTTT after they went

I mean besides the amazing sex

but LOL Zon daydreaming about his romantic sexy vacation with Saifah in fukl animated colour is awesome; I wish my dreams were like that

also I firmly believe Saifah and Zon set up FTTT to stay together at the beach and you cant convince me otherwise

Tutor’s literally getting sick without Fighter like boy, just go get your man back before you die

oh god the way Fighter takes care of him is so GENTLE AND CAREFUL like he’s scared Tutor will break I cant

I’m in love with the confrontation scene between him and Asshole Dad like the way he called him out on all of his bullshit and that he only cares for his own interests and business and how selfish he is being with his own son’s life

“Homosexual love isnt steady” “And are you sure your heterosexual love is steady? My mom left you for another man”

MIC FUCKING DROP OF THE CENTURY HOLY SHIT

it broke my heart the way Fighter begged him to allow him to be happy and to have his own life under his control

god, no child should ahve to beg their parents like that

I hope Asshole Dad doesnt get any sort of redeption though I’m pretty sure he will next ep

Zon out there giving the best advice “we right our own novel” “you can stand up and fight better than this” and you know what? I NEED that to happen next ep

I NEED Tutor to finally stand up and fight for his love the way Fighter has been doing non stop; that’s the only thing I feel like is missing right now; these past couple of eps has been all about Tutor’s struggles and feelings of weaknes and helplessness and the people who love him trying to support him and help him fight back and I NEED HIM TO DO THAT FINALLY FOR HIMSELF AND FOR FIGHTER PLEASE @SHOW???

also you’re still not off the hook for that happy ending, WHYRU; there BETTER be one next ep

[vettingsanders]

He Did Nothing For Years

The Bernie Sanders Story

I was going to title this post something that more adequately expresses my rage, like “Bernie Sanders is a Grifting Fuck and a Garbage Human,” but then I decided to be classy and paraphrase a quote from Evita instead.  But I’m also petty so consider the subtitle of this rant to be “A Grifting Fuck and a Garbage Human.”

I was going to wait to post this until the primaries are over because if by some unholy hell miracle Sanders wins the nomination, obviously we all have to unite behind even the shittiest, most doomed to fail candidate, but fuck it.  Vote blue no matter who, that goes without being said, but Sanders is the worst possible choice and was even when there were a dozen plus horses in this race, and now y’all are going to hear all the reasons why.

The Early Years: Sanders the Deadbeat

Sanders graduated from the university of Chicago in 1964 with a BA in Political Science and chose not to work until he was elected mayor of Burlington in 1981

I say “chose not to work” because he was fully capable but preferred being a bum.  He had no student debt, he had no health conditions that prevented him from working, and the 1960s were characterized by rapid growth of the workforce, with three out of four college graduates holding high level positions by 1970

Sanders occasionally did some freelance writing and carpentry during these years, according to his resume, probably so he could claim he was trying to work in order to collect unemployment.  Let’s take a look at some of his writings:

At age 28, he wrote an article for alternative newspaper The Vermont Freeman entitled “Cancer, Disease, and Society.”  In the article, he argues that sexual repression can cause cancer, and women who are virgins, have fewer orgasms than their peers, or simply don’t enjoy sex are more likely to develop cancer.  The article includes statements such as “the manner in which you bring up your daughter with regard to sexual attitudes may very well determine whether or not she will develop breast cancer, among other things” and “How much guilt, nervousness have you imbued in your daughter with regard to sex?  If she is 16, 3 years beyond puberty and the time which nature set forth for child-bearing, and spent a night out with her boyfriend, what is your reaction? Do you take her to a psychiatrist because she is “maladjusted” or a “prostitute,” or are you happy that she has found someone with whom she can share love?”  He also argues that the education system contributes to cancer, as does having “an old bitch of a teacher (and there are many of them).”  https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/2157403-sanders-cancer.html

In 1969, in another article for The Vermont Freeman, he wrote, “In Vermont, at a state beach, a mother is reprimanded by Authority for allowing her 6 month old daughter to go about without her diapers on. Now, if children go around naked, they are liable to see each others sexual organs, and maybe even touch them. Terrible thing! If we [raise] children up like this it will probably ruin the whole pornography business, not to mention the large segment of the general economy which makes its money by playing on peoples sexual frustrations.”  https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/07/bernie-sanders-vermont-freeman-sexual-freedom-fluoride/

His resume, incidentally, also lists him as a freelance youth counselor during his period of unemployment, which is just great.  The man who thinks thirteen year olds should be getting pregnant and children should touch each other’s genitals, counseling your kids.  Fantastic.

In the 1970s, Sanders stole electricity from his neighbors rather than paying his own bill.  https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/07/bernie-sanders-vermont-119927

He stole food from the refrigerator of The Vermont Freeman’s publishers https://newrepublic.com/article/122005/he-was-presidential-candidate-bernie-sanders-was-radical

 He was asked to leave a hippie commune in 1971 due to sitting around engaging in “endless political discussion” rather than working.  Let me repeat, he was too lazy for a hippie commune. https://freebeacon.com/politics/bernie-sanders-asked-leave-hippie-commune/

Now, all of this apart from the theft is arguably okay.  It’s his own life, and if he wants to squander it publishing poorly written essays and doing jack shit, whatever.  Except it wasn’t just his life, because he had a son, Levi.  And he was a deadbeat, paying no child support and causing Levi’s mother, Susan Mott, to rely on welfare, which made her face discrimination when trying to find housing.  https://twitter.com/m_mendozaferrer/status/1093295853907922946

Bernie Sanders is a deadbeat dad.  No respect.

Failing Upwards: Sanders the Politician

In 1971, Sanders joined the Vermont Liberty Union Party, a socialist political group.  From 1971 to 1977, Sanders was the party chief and habitually ran for office, failing every time.  He left the group in 1977, stating that they did not do enough to fight banks and corporations during non-election years.  This is just one example of Sanders decrying everyone else as too impure for him.

In 2016, the Vermont Liberty Union Party voted to brand Sanders as a war criminal.  Their general secretary, Peter Diamondstone, said of Sanders, “ He never was a socialist!"  https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bnjby3/the-vermont-political-party-bernie-sanders-founded-isnt-into-him-anymore  This is just one example in the long list of Sanders alienating his allies.

He finally won the mayoral election for Burlington in 1981, by only ten votes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1981_Burlington_mayoral_election

Sanders was only elected to the US House of Representatives in 1990 because he had the support of the National Rifle Association.  The incumbent Congressman, Republican Peter Smith, advocated for an assault weapons ban, so the NRA flooded Sanders with money.  https://www.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/stickin-to-his-guns-the-nra-helped-elect-bernie-sanders-to-congress-now-hes-telling-a-different-story/Content?oid=27816693

In 2006, 2012, and 2018, when running for the Senate, Sanders ran as a Democrat in the state primaries, then declined the Democratic nomination, and ran as an independent in the general.  This made it basically impossible for any Democrat to run against him.  https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/21/bernie-sanders-democrat-independent-vermont-601844

After a landslide loss to Secretary Clinton in the 2016 Democratic primary, Sanders demanded changes to the DNC primary structure that would make the process easier for him to win with just a plurality of delegates instead of a majority.  These rule changes were the reason the 2020 Iowa caucus was such a clusterfuck. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/bernie-sanders-iowa-caucus-winner-trump-democrats-a9317761.html

Despite all his talk of getting out the youth vote and inspiring disenfranchised voters, Sanders planned all along to squeak by with only thirty percent of the delegates in the 2020 primary by provoking infighting among other candidates to split the moderate vote.  The supposed movement he claimed to lead is a sham. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2019/04/bernie-sanders-thinking-he-will-win-it-all-2020/587326/

“I Never Saw Him”: Sanders and Civil Rights

Sanders touts his participation in the March on Washington in 1963 as proof of his devotion to civil rights activism.  He loves to remind people that he marched with MLK, as seen during the She the People 2019 forum where he repeated that old chestnut for the millionth time and was booed by the attendees. https://www.thedailybeast.com/bernie-sanders-met-with-boos-after-name-dropping-martin-luther-king-at-she-the-people-summit

In actuality, Sanders was one of 250,000 people at the march, along with Mitch McConnell, who is clearly no champion for civil rights. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/7-things-know-about-sen-mitch-mcconnell-r-ky-part-flna6C10621413

Representative John Lewis, an actual civil rights hero who worked with Dr. King and whose skull was fractured by police on Bloody Sunday, said that he “never saw [Bernie Sanders].  I never met him,” during the movement. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/local/2016/02/11/john-lewis-never-saw-bernie-sanders-during-civil-rights-era/80263450/

Sanders was charged with resisting arrest during a segregation protest in Chicago in 1963, and was charged $25.  He later white flighted to Vermont, one of the whitest states in the country. https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/02/bernie-sanders-core-university-chicago/

Sanders never bothered to vote during the Civil Rights movement, only putting forth the effort when he himself was running. https://imgur.com/gallery/mmS40Gq#460q6bS

During his speech in Jacksonville on the 50th anniversary of MLK’s death, Sanders rewrote history and tried to claim that King’s real focus was economic justice and not civil rights.  "All of us know where he was when he was assassinated 50 years ago today.  He was in Memphis to stand with low-income sanitation workers who were being exploited ruthlessly, whose wages were abysmally low, and who were trying to create a union. That’s where he was. Because as the mayor just indicated, what he believed — and where he was a real threat to the establishment — is that of course we need civil rights in this country, but we also need economic justice.” https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/rubycramer/bernie-sanders-revolution-needs-black-voters-to-win-but-can

In thirty years in Congress, Sanders has not sponsored any bills pertaining to civil rights: https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/browse?sponsor=400357#current_status[]=28&enacted_ex=on

Sanders voted for the 1994 crime bill https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2020-election/bernie-sanders-has-dodged-criticism-crime-bill-vote-while-others-n1020726

In 1994, he praised the bill and stated that the US needed more jails.  https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/1221468426855755776

He touted his vote for the crime bill on his website at least until 2006, as proof he was “tough on crime” and “strong on the cops” https://web.archive.org/web/20061018180921/http:/www.bernie.org/truth/crime.html

In 2015, during a meeting with police reform activist group Campaign Zero, Sanders responded to being asked why he thought a disproportionate amount of people of color were incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses with “Aren’t most of the people who sell the drugs African-American?”  Those present at the meeting stated, “Even confronted with figures and data to the contrary, Sanders appeared to have still struggled to grasp that he had made an error.” https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/rubycramer/bernie-sanders-revolution-needs-black-voters-to-win-but-can 

In 2018, fifteen racial and social justice leaders in Vermont, including multiple NAACP branch presidents, ACLU organizers, and BLM activists, sent an open letter to Sanders and the Sanders Institute to complain that they were “excluded” from the “national progressive movement that Senator Bernie Sanders is trying to foster.”  The letter asks “how could Senator Sanders host what is supposed to be an intersectional, progressive event without inviting the very people whom he serves?”  http://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/vpr/files/201812/sanders-letter-2018.pdf

Curtiss Reed, Executive Director of the Vermont Partnership for Fairness and Diversity, stated that the exclusion of Vermont POC from the Sanders Institute’s event was “a catastrophic failure of his sort of tone deafness to marginalized communities in the state of Vermont” and added “I’m tempted to say this is no longer a question of benign neglect on the part of the senator, but willful ignorance on his part not to include marginalized voices in this national conversation on the progressive movement.”   https://www.vpr.org/post/we-find-ourselves-excluded-racial-justice-leaders-ask-bernie-sanders-get-program#stream/0 

Vermont Black leaders stated they were “invisible” to Sanders, and that the senator “was just really dismissive of anything that had to do with race and racism, saying that they didn’t have anything to do with the issues of income inequality.  He just always kept coming back to income inequality as a response, as if talking about income inequality would somehow make issues of racism go away.” https://www.thedailybeast.com/vermonts-black-leaders-we-were-invisible-to-bernie-sanders

In his 1998 autobiography, Sanders repeatedly and needlessly used the n-word. He chose to keep the word in the text when republishing the book in 2015.  https://www.inquisitr.com/5620596/bernie-sanders-under-fire-for-use-of-n-word-in-2015-book-clip-from-audiobook-version-goes-viral-friday/ 

“I Will Not Make It a Major Priority”: Sanders the Ally

During an interview as mayor of Burlington, Sanders said LGBTQ rights were not a “major priority” for him and he would “probably not” support a bill to protect gays from job discrimination.  https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/10/bernie-sanders-on-marriage-equality-hes-no-longtime-champion.html

Also during his time as mayor, Sanders signed a resolution affirming that marriage is between “husband and wife.” https://www.washingtonblade.com/2016/02/06/clinton-surrogates-pounce-on-sanders-over-82-marriage-resolution/

Sanders and his wife stated in 1996 that they opposed the Defense of Marriage Act simply because it would weaken states’ rights.  Only later did he claim his opposition was due to support for same-sex marriage. https://time.com/4089946/bernie-sanders-gay-marriage/

Sanders argued same-sex marriage was a states’ rights issue in 2006. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=57&v=kej9QAsS3uI&feature=emb_logo

In that same year, after same-sex civil unions had been legal in Vermont since 2000, he responded to a reporter asking if same-sex marriage should be legalized in Vermont with “Not right now,” after the “very divisive debate” preceding the civil union legislation. https://web.archive.org/web/20160407064606/http://www.timesargus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060607/NEWS/606070302/1003/NEWS02

In thirty years in Congress, Sanders has not sponsored any bills pertaining to LGBTQ rights: https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/browse?sponsor=400357#current_status[]=28&enacted_ex=on  

Sanders the Warmonger

Sanders loves to tout his opposition to the Iraq War as proof of his moral superiority.  But in 1998, he voted for the Iraq Liberation Act, which states that “it should be the policy of the United States to support efforts to remove the regime headed by Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq.”  He also supported Clinton’s airstrike on Iraq.  https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/105-1998/h482

In 1999, Sanders had anti-war protesters at his office arrested. https://www.counterpunch.org/2015/07/27/bernie-sanders-savior-or-seducer-of-the-anti-war-left/

The Iraq War Bill that Sanders voted against required Bush to first try diplomatic efforts and abide by UN rules of military conduct.  It also required transparency and progress reports.  https://www.congress.gov/bill/107th-congress/house-joint-resolution/114/text

The Authorization for Use of Military Force Act (AUMF), which Sanders did vote for, required none of that and is the reason the Afghanistan War was so much of a clusterfuck.  Bush would have used the AUMF to invade Iraq even if Congress had voted down the Iraq Liberation Act.  The only person to vote against the AUMF was Representative Barbara Lee.  Sanders voted in favor of it.  https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/107/sjres23/text

Sanders claims to oppose the defense industry.  But he brought Lockheed Martin and their 1.2 trillion dollar, over budget, outdated stealth fighters to Vermont. https://www.thedailybeast.com/bernie-sanders-loves-this-dollar1-trillion-war-machine

During his tenure as mayor of Burlington, he fired the assistant city treasurer when she was jailed for an anti-war protest. https://academic.oup.com/publius/article-abstract/21/2/131/1917641?redirectedFrom=PDF 

Sanders the Healthcare Crusader

Sanders was chairman of the Senate Veteran Affairs Committee during a 2014 scandal when dozens of veterans died while waiting for medical care.  During his tenure, Sanders only held seven hearings on VA Oversight, as opposed to the House committee’s forty-two hearings.  Veterans argue that Sanders was too invested in the idea of the VA as a shining example of government healthcare to address its failings.  Despite the scandal and tragedy, Sanders as recently as 2017 bragged that  he was involved with “the most comprehensive VA health care bill in this country.” https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-veterans-scandal-on-bernie-sanderss-watch

He voted against the Clinton plan for universal healthcare in 1993.  https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/3/14/1501210/-Where-Was-Sanders-on-Health-Care-in-93-and-94-Against-the-Clintons

Sanders also voted against CHIP, the children’s health insurance program that AOC relied on to see a doctor in her youth: https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/105-1997/h345

Despite campaigning on Medicare for All since 2015, Sanders was unable to explain how much the program would cost during a 2020 60 Minutes interview.  https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/24/politics/bernie-sanders-donald-trump-2020/index.html

When Senator Warren did the math for him and released her detailed M4A plan, Sanders attacked her, calling his plan “more progressive” and saying hers would “have a very negative impact on creating jobs.” https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/03/politics/bernie-sanders-elizabeth-warren-health-care-plan/index.html

Sanders claims that his healthcare plan is standard in other countries.  But his M4A plan would ban private insurance, which is not done in any country but Canada.  In the Scandinavian countries Sanders loves to hold up as an example of government healthcare, the market for private insurance is growing.  https://aapsonline.org/no-bernie-other-countries-do-not-ban-private-care/

“Too Brassy, Too Bitchy”: Sanders the Feminist

In his autobiography, Sanders quoted an article calling his 1996 primary opponent Susan Sweetser “too brassy, too bitchy.” https://books.google.com/books?id=_2YjBm2_JGUC&pg=PA173&lpg=PA173&dq=sanders+too+brassy+too+bitchy&source=bl&ots=SWrIR5Xa8m&sig=ACfU3U2-Hj1-UXIOM0Zz274h6_Nu8juoBg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjHhtObq6LmAhWvUt8KHc8mDVUQ6AEwA3oECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=sanders%20too%20brassy%20too%20bitchy&f=false

 In his Vermont Freeman article “Cancer, Disease, and Society,” Sanders called teachers “old bitch[es]” and blamed them for men developing cancer.  He also said women developed cancer due to sexual repression.  https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/2157403-sanders-cancer.html

Referring to their 1986 governor race, his opponent Madeleine Kuhn stated, “When Sanders was my opponent he focused like a laser beam on “class analysis,” in which “women’s issues” were essentially a distraction from more important issues. He urged voters not to vote for me just because I was a woman. That would be a “sexist position,” he declared.”  https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2016/02/04/when-bernie-sanders-ran-against-vermont/kNP6xUupbQ3Qbg9UUelvVM/story.html

Sanders called Planned Parenthood “a part of the establishment” because they endorsed Secretary Clinton for president.  https://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/planned-parenthood-bernie-sanders-218026

Sanders called Hillary Rodham Clinton, former law firm partner, former First Lady, former Senator, and former Secretary of State, unqualified to be president. https://www.cnn.com/2016/04/06/politics/bernie-sanders-hillary-clinton-qualified/index.html

In January 2020, leaked phone banking scripts from the Sanders campaign called Warren a candidate of the affluent who wouldn’t bring any new voters to the Democratic base.  https://www.politico.com/news/2020/01/11/bernie-quietly-goes-negative-on-warren-097594

In response, members of Warren’s campaign leaked information that, at a dinner in 2018, Sanders had told Warren he did not think a woman could win the presidency.  Sanders and his supporters decried this as a lie, even though reporters knew of the dinner and had been asking Warren if Sanders had discussed women’s electability there for over a year.  https://twitter.com/mlcalderone/status/1104477933886935040?s=19

Sanders supporters then flooded Elizabeth Warren and her supporters’ Twitter mentions with snake emojis.

Sanders said of Secretary Clinton, “It is not good enough for someone to say, ‘I’m a woman! Vote for me!” https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2016/11/21/13699956/sanders-clinton-democratic-party

Bending the Knee: Sanders the Dictatorship Fanboy

During a 2020 60 Minutes interview, Sanders inexplicably decided it would be a good idea to start praising Fidel Castro’s genocidal regime, stating, “We’re very opposed to the authoritarian nature of Cuba, but, you know, it’s unfair to simply say everything is bad. When Castro came into office, you know what he did? He had a massive literacy program.  Is that a bad thing, even though Fidel Castro did it?” https://www.vox.com/2020/2/24/21147388/bernie-sanders-cuba-60-minutes-nicaragua

He doubled down on this praise at the next debate, whining, “Really?  Really?” when the crowd booed him.  https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article240627047.html

In 2014, Sanders visited Cuban prisoner Alan Gross, who lost over 100 pounds and five teeth during his captivity.  During the meeting, Gross recalls Sanders telling him, “I don't know what's so wrong with this country.”  https://www.npr.org/2020/03/04/811729200/former-prisoner-recalls-sanders-saying-i-don-t-know-what-s-so-wrong-with-cuba

In 1985, Sanders praised bread lines and food rationing.  “American journalists talk about how bad a country is because people are lining up for food.  That's a good thing. In other countries people don't line up for food. The rich get the food, and the poor starve to death." https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/2/21/1920767/-Time-to-switch-out-from-Bernie-he-praised-nations-with-bread-lines-that-s-a-good-thing-Danger

Sanders hung a USSR flag in his office as mayor of Burlington.  https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/feb/24/bernie-sanders-reveals-his-radical-inclinations-ov/

He honeymooned in the USSR, and praised the state of the Soviet Union. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/inside-bernie-sanderss-1988-10-day-honeymoon-in-the-soviet-union/2019/05/02/db543e18-6a9c-11e9-a66d-a82d3f3d96d5_story.html

In the 1980s, Sanders attended a Sandinista rally in Nicaragua where the attendees chanted, “Here, there, everywhere, the Yankee will die.” https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/05/bernie-sanders-pro-sandinista-past-problem.html

Sanders recently praised China, saying that it has made "more progress in addressing extreme poverty than any country in the history of civilization." https://thehill.com/hilltv/rising/458976-sanders-china-had-done-more-to-address-extreme-poverty-than-any-country-in-the

“They Can’t Stop Us”: Sanders the Conspiracy Theorist

Despite conceding the 2016 primary and stating that “Secretary Clinton has won the Democratic nomination and I congratulate her for that” (https://www.cnn.com/2016/07/11/politics/hillary-clinton-bernie-sanders/index.html), he later made the Trump-esque statement “Some people say that if maybe that system was not rigged against me, I would have won the nomination and defeated Donald Trump.” https://www.newsweek.com/bernie-sanders-defeat-donald-trump-2016-rigged-primary-dnc-nbc-kasie-hunt-1446116

 On February 21, Sanders tweeted, “I've got news for the Republican establishment. I've got news for the Democratic establishment. They can't stop us.” https://twitter.com/BernieSanders/status/1231021453270769664

After Super Tuesday, Sanders stated that Buttigieg and Klobuchar were pressed to drop out as part of an establishment plot to defeat him. https://thehill.com/homenews/sunday-talk-shows/486503-sanders-klobuchar-and-buttigieg-ended-campaigns-under-great-deal

Sanders has repeatedly attacked the press as “paid by the corporations and billionaires who own the media.”  He’s promoted the conspiracy theory that Jeff Bezos makes The Washington Post write negative articles about him. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/27/bernie-sanders-attacks-media-press-fair-or-trump-2020-democrats

During the Nicaraguan conflict, Sanders accused American reporters of ignoring the truth and told a CBS reporter, “you are worms.” https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/05/bernie-sanders-pro-sandinista-past-problem.html

Sanders accused The Washington Post of trying to harm him in the Nevada caucus by reporting on Russia’s attempts to boost his campaign. https://www.mediaite.com/tv/bernie-sanders-takes-a-shot-at-washington-post-good-friends-when-asked-about-timing-of-russia-report/

“We Support Them”: Sanders the Spoiler

Robert Mueller’s investigation found that Russian interference sought to boost both Sanders and Trump’s 2016 campaigns, stating “we support them.” https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/02/17/indictment-russians-also-tried-help-bernie-sanders-jill-stein-presidential-campaigns/348051002/

Sanders was well aware of the Russian efforts, stating “What we knew is–well, of course we knew that.  And of course we knew that they were trying to cause divisiveness within the Democratic party.  Uh, that’s no great secret.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDYbHult0Do

When The Washington Post reported on Russia’s efforts to boost Sanders in 2020, Sanders had already known for weeks and said nothing.  After the report came out, he attacked the Post and accused them of trying to tank his performance in the Nevada caucus, stating “I’ll let you guess, about one day before the Nevada caucus. Why do you think it came out?  It was The Washington Post?  Good friends.” https://www.mediaite.com/tv/bernie-sanders-takes-a-shot-at-washington-post-good-friends-when-asked-about-timing-of-russia-report/

The Fish Rots from the Head: The Sanders Campaign

The 2016 campaign breached the Clinton campaign’s voter data and harvested and stored voter information https://time.com/4155185/bernie-sanders-hillary-clinton-data/

The 2016 campaign received a 645 page letter from the FEC detailing the campaign’s finance violations (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/05/the-bernie-sanders-donors-who-are-giving-too-much/482418/) and had to pay a $14.5 K fine to the FEC after receiving donations from non-citizens. https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/376373-sanders-campaign-pays-145k-fine-to-settle-fec-complaint

The 2016 Nevada campaign director sought to rig the state’s caucus by urging staffers to buy double-sided coins for tie-breaking coin tosses http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/sanderss-nevada-director-floated-two-sided-coins-for-tiebreaks-report/ar-AAhHiAI?getstaticpage=true&automatedTracking=staticview

The 2016 campaign initially decried superdelegates as “undemocratic” (https://www.cnn.com/2016/02/23/opinions/superdelegates-democratic-party-kohn/) before attempting to persuade them to go against the primary’s outcome and back Sanders instead of Clinton https://www.npr.org/2016/05/19/478705022/sanders-campaign-now-says-superdelegates-are-key-to-winning-nomination

The 2016 campaign was accused by staffers of sexual harassment, demeaning treatment toward women, and pay disparity by gender https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/02/us/politics/bernie-sanders-campaign-sexism.html

Weeks before the 2016 general election, Jane Sanders retweeted a video from an April town hall of her husband telling an attendee to “make these decisions yourself” regarding whether or not to vote third party if Secretary Clinton won the primary https://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/news/politics/2016/09/26/retweet-bernie-sanders-wife-jane-raises-questions/91140254/

The 2020 Sanders campaign appointed Russian interference denier and Jill Stein 2016 voter Briahna Joy Gray as the campaign’s National Press Secretary https://twitter.com/briebriejoy/status/888555665865814017?lang=en

Following promises to run a civil campaign, Sanders hired David Sirota, a man who’d spent months attacking other primary contenders online, as a speech writer.  The campaign also confirmed that Sirota had already been serving in an advisory role prior to his official hiring https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2019/03/sanders-promised-civility-hired-twitter-attack-dog/585259/

Press Secretary Briahna Joy Gray called for the doxing of a Sanders critic on Twitter. If there was any repercussion for this behavior, it has never been made public. https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2019/8/14/1879124/-Bernie-Sanders-s-Campaign-Doxed-a-Critic-on-Twitter

The 2020 campaign hired and fired YouTuber Matt Orfalea within 24 hours after being alerted of his sexist, racist, homophobic, and ableist content, suggesting he was not vetted before his hiring https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/bernie-sanders-matt-orfalea-mlk-youtube-video/

Despite his firing and the campaign decrying his behavior in October 2019, in January 2020 Jane Sanders was still retweeting and praising Orfalea.  https://twitter.com/Rob_Flaherty/status/1236861997398048768

In March 2020, Orfalea posed as a Biden volunteer and made calls to voters claiming that Biden has dementia.  https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/jgeanp/a-man-fired-from-sanders-campaign-is-calling-biden-voters-and-saying-he-has-dementia

They hired and fired Darius Khalil Gordon after two days after being alerted of his sexist, racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, and ableist Tweets https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2019/12/bernie-sanders-new-head-organizer-called-people-fgs-bhes/

The campaign also hired former Women’s March leader Linda Sarsour as a campaign surrogate.  The Women’s March cut ties with Sarsour following anti-Semitic statements. https://nypost.com/2018/11/20/womens-march-founder-calls-on-current-leadership-to-step-down/

Sarsour was also condemned by the Anti-Defamation League for the statement that “a state like Israel that is based on supremacy, that is built on the idea that Jews are supreme to everyone else.” https://forward.com/news/national/435964/bernie-sanders-linda-sarsour-jewish-voters/

Sanders National Campaign Co-Chair Nina Turner claimed that Biden’s strong support among Black voters is due to the voters’ “short memories” and “not a true understanding of the history” https://thehill.com/hilltv/rising/473161-top-sanders-officials-hits-biden-over-riding-on-obamas-coattails

The 2020 campaign paid staffers working 60 hours a week an average of 13 dollars per hour despite Sanders campaigning on a 15 dollar per hour minimum wage https://www.vox.com/2019/7/20/20700841/bernie-sanders-minimum-wage-staff-pay

Bernie Bros attacked Biden’s Detroit rally on 3/9/20, striking senior aide Symone Sanders in the head with an iPad and knocking her down. https://www.politico.com/news/2020/03/10/joe-biden-detroit-protests-sanders-124874

“Nobody Likes Him”: Sanders Himself

In 1996, Congressman Barney Frank said of Sanders, “Bernie alienates his natural allies.  His holier-than-thou attitude—saying in a very loud voice he is smarter than everyone else and purer than everyone else—really undercuts his effectiveness.”  https://www.boston.com/news/politics/2016/04/11/history-barney-frank-bernie-sanders-criticize

In her recent Hulu documentary series, Hillary Rodham Clinton briefly spoke about Sanders, saying “He was in Congress for years.  He had one senator support him.  Nobody likes him, nobody wants to work with him, he got nothing done. He was a career politician. It's all just baloney and I feel so bad that people got sucked into it.” https://twitter.com/Burkmc/status/1235863901813661697?s=09

A former campaign staffer called Sanders “unbelievably abusive.”  Another campaign insider called him an asshole, and a former Senate staffer recounted, "He yelled in meetings all the time.”  https://www.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/anger-management-sanders-fights-for-employees-except-his-own/Content?oid=2834657

One aide stated that Sanders “never makes you feel like you’re good enough to be in the room with him.”  https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/06/us/politics/bernie-sanders-image.html

Sanders voted in favor of dumping nuclear waste on the poor and predominantly Latinx community of Sierra Blanca, Texas https://www.texastribune.org/2016/02/28/Sanders-Nuclear-Waste-Votes-Divide-Texas-Activists/

When asked if he would visit the site in Sierra Blanca, Sanders answered “Absolutely not.” https://archives.texasobserver.org/issue/1998/09/11#page=11

Sanders voted five times against the Brady Act which required universal background checks and a waiting period to buy firearms. https://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/oct/13/hillary-clinton/hillary-clinton-bernie-sanders-voted-against-brady/o

He also voted against the AMBER Alert System. http://archive.boston.com/news/local/vermont/articles/2006/09/21/sanders_vote_on_amber_alert_emerges_as_key_campaign_issue/

He wanted to primary Obama in the 2012 election cycle. https://www.thenation.com/article/yes-bernie-sanders-wanted-obama-primaried-in-2012-heres-why/

After saying millionaire senators are immoral (https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/24/politics/bernie-millionaire-senators-immoral/index.html) and railing against millionaires and billionaires in his 2016 campaign, Sanders responded to criticism of his millionaire senator status by saying “if you write a best-selling book, you can be a millionaire, too.”  His stump speech now only rants about billionaires. https://theweek.com/speedreads/834228/bernie-sanders-says-millionaire-like-write-bestselling-book 

Upheld a ban on rock concerts as mayor of Burlington like a Footloose villain https://i.redd.it/atpybo1rcwa31.jpg

Despite running on forgiving student loan debt since 2015, when pressed for specifics during an interview with Dana Bash, Sanders responded, “I don't have the plan in my pocket right now,” because, you know, why on Earth should he know the details of his key campaign promises? https://mobile.twitter.com/DanaBashCNN/status/1137779734467792897

Two days before the 2016 general election, Sanders tweeted “I do not believe that most of the people who are thinking about voting for Mr. Trump are racist or sexist.” https://twitter.com/berniesanders/status/794941635931099136?lang=en

 Sanders had a heart attack at age 78, making his continued life expectancy 3.1 years. https://www.cardiovascularbusiness.com/topics/acute-coronary-syndrome/study-65-older-mi-patients-die-within-8-years

He could have dropped out of the race after his heart attack and endorsed Warren, and she could have spent the primary building coalitions with the demographics where she was the weakest, and could well have been the front runner by now.  Instead, he selfishly stayed in the race, screwing her over and knowing full well the odds are against him living through a single term.  He continued to do the only thing he’s good at: fucking everyone over.

Say whatever you want about Biden, it’s not like there aren’t things to say.  But I’ve seen so many posts about how “Sure, Biden’s the worst EVER, but he is EVER SO SLIGHTLY less worse than Trump,” and excuse me, fuck off.  Biden horribly lost his wife and daughter before his 1972 Senate term even started, and instead of dropping out, he continued to serve his constituents while commuting home two hours every night to raise his sons.  Meanwhile, in 1972, Sanders was a deadbeat bum stealing electricity.  There’s no comparison.

[chatalyst]

the difference is that you're not just making headcanons to share with your friends, you're putting on your public platforms and you're all very popular in this fandom. you can talk about whatever you want to with your friends, no one is saying you can't, but you have a platform and you have a responsibility. You're not just talking to other latinx people. And why you get to pretend like your latinx culture is more valid than mine I dont know, but no one is criticizing you for it

Oh... so you’re doubling down now.

Im gonna give you some advice, because you seem kind of young and even if you’re not, I had this issue for years before talking with someone who doesn’t use the internet as often as I did. Not every joke that’s posted about ethnicity/race is racist. Not every picture/meme/text post you see that’s referencing someone being Latino isn’t racist. I’m begging you to understand the difference. Latino Adrien isnt going to attack you, alright? His taki bag and gelled hair isn’t under your bed waiting for you to drop your guard. He’s not fucking real.

Now, if I were not belonging to the communities I’m poking fun of, absolutely that joke is rooted in racism. Because what am I laughing at? Some part of my brain would find the stereotypes surrounding Latino people funny and it’s fundamentally different because it Would Not Be My Experience. But That WAS my experience, and making jokes about my experience doesn’t come from the same place as, say, a non-Latinx person doing it. It’s not my responsibility to make sure everyone who reblogs my post is Latinx and/or Not Racist, and I don’t pretend like it is, like you are. I know there’s issues, and I know there’s problems. I even know I have a platform. I actually have posted many times and actively speak out when I see something wrong.

This is not one of those times, my dear.

Now, I’m gonna address something about your response because it is absolutely baffling to me. So here we go.

and why you get to pretend like your Latinx culture is more valid than mine I don’t know, but no one is criticizing you for it

BITCH DID YOU NOT COME IN MY INBOX TO DO EXACTLY THAT?? DID YOU NOT JUST COME INTO MY INBOX TO CRITICIZE MY POST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOUR LATINX EXPERIENCE IS MORE VALID THAN MINE?? You’re telling me to delete a post because you think you have some pure/unobstructed view on what Latinx people should and should not post in regards to their culture. You think you’re better than every little Latinx kid who posts about their experience because you’re “woke” and “can educate people on the Tumblr Dot Com”.

And since you seem so keen on making lil assumptions about me, let me clue you in on a little assumption you can always make: I KNOW. Assume that every time I post, I know everything. Assume that I have lived a life where I dealt with racism and stereotypes and had to actively fight against them whether I wanted to or not starting from the tender age of 4 fucking years old and poking fun at my culture is my way of having fun and embracing something important to me. And unless I ask, assume that I don’t need input.

Latino Adrien was a joke that we made based off of OUR experiences GROWING UP as LATINO PEOPLE. You’re annoying the shit outta me. People think sending messages on anon “educating” people on racism makes them a better person but having a tumblr account and reblogging political posts doesn’t make you an activist.

You wanna do something about racism and stereotypes then make your own damn post but if you’re going to get ur panties in a twist because I posted a headcanon about a fictional character being Latino (based on MY FUCKING EXPERIENCE BRO), that is not my problem.

Don’t let the door bonk you on your big red nose on the way out you clown ass bitch

[sargentr]

so i reread the dream thieves a while back and i wrote down some stuff i hadn’t really noticed/paid that much attention to. some of them are mere observations others are just me. Fangirling. as one does:

* ronan's first love was his family

* adam tried his best to make things work with blue, just like everything else he had tried in his life

* gansey is very well aware of his privilege and wealth 

* ronan has two weaknesses: niall lynch and adam parrish

* noah was there for ronan is ways not even ronan realized

* when ronan was filled with anger for a reason i cant remember, he relaxed a bit when gansey, beside him, answered his phone and said "hey" into it, meaning it was adam. (this is from ronans pov) like!!! theyre so comfortable around each other can i leave

* adam was so furious at gansey for thinking he had made the st agnes bill easier for him that he didnt realize that it had ronan written all over it

* gansey was such a light hearted and carefree person that there was not a single person in aglionby who did not know who he was. it is described that while others tried to fit in aglionby, aglionby fit perfectly in gansey. he was the type of person who the teachers would hold for a second after class to show him the article they thought he might like. HE’S BABY.

* gansey and ronan's relationship was not based on communication.

* adam always thought how beautiful all of gansey's things were.

* ronan lynch was one of those things

* gansey often reminded himself how niall lynch's death affected ronan

* ronan would rather die than kill adam

* the image of ronan trying (and lying) to take his life was scarred into gansey like ink

* gansey and ronan fought a night creature and fit perfectly as a team (gansey's pov)

* clue number two of non heterosexual ronan niall lynch: "(blue) wore a dress ronan thought looked like a lampshade. whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, gansey clearly wished he had one. ronan wasn't a fan of lamps."

* ronan lynch is completely and utterly himself the first time he steps foot in the barns

* RONAN REFERRING TO ADAM AS EINSTEIN

* ronan has no chill whatsoever omg when they're in the barns and checking to see if the animals are still alive blue asks ronan to check some of them and he replies to her and adam "you two poverty twins do it"

* confirmed: ronan lynch is a complete cupcake (eg: pressing the small mouse to his cheek to check the heartbeat)

* confirmed: richard gansey is a bigger cupcake for smiling ear to ear while doing the same

* !!!! "and it was his smile that buried ronan"!!!! (referring to gansey and the mouse)

* "... adam replied, his henrietta accent sneaking out, betraying his fatigue. it was something deeper." (ronan's pov)

* second confirm: ronan lynch is a Softie™ (eg: when they were about to leave the barns but ronan whispered so just gansey heard "can i go and see mom?" HE IS ALSO BABY

* OKAY BUT GANSEY AND RONAN THIS ENTIRE BOOK: "i remember when you used to smell like this" referring to when they enter the main house at the barns.

* "ronan loved it so much. he nearly couldn't bare it. he wanted to destroy something." (((this is about the barns. protect this sunshine)))

* when blue saw a picture of a bird in the barns and asked, "are these vultures or crows?" and adam and ronan replied at the same time, "vultures" "crows" NERDS

* "i am being perfectly fucking civil" still to this day, the best thing ronan lynch has ever said.

* "ronan looked at gansey. that look, blue thought. ronan lynch would do anything for gansey" claps slowly

* BONUS: "i probably would, too." thought blue

* matthew lynch was the only thing that made ronan come back himself

* niall left ronan (and only ronan) his entire property

* gansey shops when he's sad

* gansey and adam sharing a LOOK when orla comes in with skin showing

* blue had very few skin showing and gansey wanted to tell he how much he liked hers and not orlas, but then thinking "that's adam's job" what a bean

* how extra can ronan lynch get (a series): making a complete SCENE while opening his car door, sitting inside, closing the door, driving away

* gansey protesting so blue wouldnt go inside the water (bc baby boy probably couldnt handle blue seminaked) and using "you wont be able to see without your eyes getting irritated" as a point

* gansey getting all flustered and reminding himself he'd been looking at orla's naked body for so long but also: HER BIKINI IS SO ORANGE

* clue number two of non heterosexual ronan niall lynch: laughing his ass off about ganseys reaction of orla and said orange bikini

* jealous little blue being furious at gansey for just looking at her

* ronan's pulse fastening when thinking about kavinsky

* ronan smiling to himself and only doing so because there was no one to see it

* noah and blue holding hands at monmouth when gansey and ronan arent there okay look at those two

* "sometimes i pretend im him" "which part?" "alive" PROTECT NOAH CZERNY

* when blue was laying on ganseys bed she though "i have a crush on richard gansey" and the following "i dont have a crush on adam parrish"

* okay but the whole kissing scene is adorably cute and the best part of tdt

* BLUE THINKING "oh, this is what i can't have"

* MATTHEW AND RONAN VISITING THE BARNS AND BOTH OF THEM JUST BEING ADORABLE WITH AURORA AND EACH OTHER

* ronan racing kavinsky and having so many mixed feelings

* adam feeling misplaced in DC and constantly thinking of this fathers abuse and I Cried

* adam and gansey fighting and uhhh sorry dick but DAMN adam

* ronan dreaming he's in kavinskys car and not knowing if he loved it or hated it

* blue's voice over the phone taking gansey's mind off the fight he had with adam

* gansey listing the things ronan is inside his mind so he would be angry at him

* "ronan had charm. it was just buried deep. very deep."

* blue fucking sargent being the badass feminist she is when it didnt occur to adam that maybe blue was into politics

* "you wouldnt have gone someplace without gansey. you two make a grand couple. kiss him!" blue giving zero fucks to adam being douchely sexist

* okay first fuck you adam idiot parrish: "nice blue, gansey was right. you are a raging feminist" FUCK YOU

* okay adam losing his temper and literally thinking of hitting blue this is a matter of EMERGENCY

* ADAM STOP BEING A DICK OH MY GOD HE ALMOST FORCED BLUE INTO KISSING HIM THIS ISNDHDJDHDHD

* like ok i get Mans had a rough past n that violence is the only thing he knows but stief what was ur POINT with this part

* adams enemy being his anger. someone protect him from himself

* when blue and gansey are talking in the pig about adam and ganseys just full of hatred towards adam's parents, "who has he ever had to love him? ever?"

* okay but richard campbell gansey the third is a complete and utter SUNSHINE: when he's overwhelmed by blue and gets out of the pig and starts pacing and then realizing it was rudeish and APOLOGIZING like a fucking KING

* lmao gansey saying "i think he should come to terms with his sexuality" at kavinsky gift to ronan.

* "he wondered if kavinsky was gay. he wondered if she should go to the fourth of july party. he wondered where adam had gone" someone just. keep ronan close and hydrated and healthy and LET HIM BE GAY AND REST

* okay but ronan thinks about kavinsky in a matter that is completely and utterly non platonic

* "the grey man gently threw ronan across the breakfast table" nice maggie

* prepare for dialogue:

"theres nothing here k."

"theres only us. i know what you are"

"thats not enough"

"dont say dick gansey man. hes never gonna be with you. and dont tell me you dont swing that way. im in your head"

"thats not what gansey is to me"

"you didnt say you didnt swing that way"

RONAN SAID, "no, i didnt" ..... gay bitch

* ronan calling adam "adam" when he thinks they're in a dream and just then realizing he isnt

* "i know it was you. the rent, i figured it out" adam parrish just slipping information at the WRONG time

* "he was a brother to a liar and a bother to an angel, son of a dream and son of a dreamer" still to this day the prettiest thing ever

* HIS SECOND SECRET WAS ADAM PARRISH

* "adam furrowed his brows to ronan, as if sensing ronan's eyes on him. ronan looked away"

* im shook this book is so good

[avenger-hawk]

i just read one of your asks about your future fics. have you considered writing about sasukes interactions with karin?? not sasukarin (but sasukarin is still a good ship!!) but i really like your karin meta and would love to see her in your fics, even if she isnt part of a ship!!

wow Anon I just realized in the last nice ask I received about my writing I forgot to mention a suisasu oneshot I started writing as a drabble here…I haven’t thought about writing something centered on Sasuke and Karin, usually I wrote about Team Taka as a team, as in my Team Taka headcanons here, here and in bits of In Power (ff.net/ ao3) and What He Wanted (ff.net/ ao3).

I know what you mean when you love a character like Karin and you want to see her more, even in a not shippy context. And I totally agree that SasuKarin really IS a good ship, the only worthy Sasuke ship with a girl, tbh. (I think Sasuino would be ok too but I’m not interested in it all all as I find it boring, and I prefer Saiino anyway).

(needless to say: SS shippers, don’t read, this is not for you. And since it’s properly tagged as anti, don’t bitch)

It’s only a matter of personal taste, I’m usually more interested in rarer pairings, and because when I think of Team Taka ships I’m more intrigued by suisasu and juusasu that in my opinion have room for both ‘healthy’ dynamics and darker ones. But if I weren’t so slow and full of future writing projects as you read, I’d totally like to write them. In fact, I’m gonna leave some random headcanons here cause I’m sorry I’m not able to write all the things I have in mind and you guys mention, AND because I’m so late replying to this ask that I feel guilty xD

My favourite things to read and write isn’t romance but dark stuff and hurt/comfort, so I would love some hurt/comfort between them, and there is a lot of possibility for this, just thinking about canon. I actually see SK hurt/comfort as canon behind the screen so you may have an idea already, both for shippy and non-shippy stuff.

For example, there’s nothing about Sasuke’s years at Otogakure but we know he was always with Orochimaru, not only training or taking poisons/drugs to get stronger, but also visiting other hideouts and assisting to his horrible experiments as well as seeing/meeting Suigetsu and Karin, mostly, as she was not a prisoner but a subordinate, kinda like Kabuto. She saw more about Sasuke than the others in Team Taka, and this may mean a lot of things. For example like in this fanart, inspired by that Karin-centric filler episode (I think 331) where she witnesses Orochimaru taking Sasuke in a dark room which seems quite creepy and may be interpreted as…eh, you get it. And there’s also Kabuto telling her that Sasuke sought Orochimaru, that he came her by his own choice…that, in this dark context, that he is ok with things being done to him (it’s the price for power). 

So it’s interesting to imagine Karin being more and more intrigued by this person, who saved her in the past, when they were genin, and who now came to her creepy leader that she knows very well, and ‘lets’ him do all sorts of things to him. Some random headcanons coming, more or less connected

-(tw: pain) Otogakure: she’s doing some work and she overhears someone moaning in pain, and she sees Sasuke shirtless, strapped to a table/bed and kind of squirming, as he’s been injected poison for his training and he’s clearly suffering.

(She takes his hand and tries to comfort him. She thinks he was in too much pain to remember but some time later he tells her ‘thank you. For being beside me that day’)

-(tw: r*pe) Orochimaru leaves the creepy room and tells her to heal Sasuke. When she enters she sees him battered bruised and bloodied everywhere, looking in pain and lost, defeated, and it’s easy to understand what happened, and that it’s neither a first nor a last time, but when he sees her he puts up a tough face, cause he doesn’t know her and he doesn’t know if he can trust her as maybe she’s like Kabuto. He can’t imagine that she (like in my Team Taka headcanons part 2) was r*ped too by Orochimaru, that most of his ‘most interesting subjects’ have been at least once. He’s the most special which means Oro always comes to him ‘to toughen him up’ and ‘train’ him or ‘just’ to be repayed for making him stronger, and he’s constantly manipulated by him (that he’s not as strong as Itachi, that he needs him to be stronger and defeat his brother, and so on) and she knows this. She, too, is wary of him cause he might be so manipulated that he supports him and if she says something wrong he might tell Oro who might punish her and she is ok with him now, he leaves her be without molesting her, so she wants to keep the peace. So she’s discreet and heals him, not in the impersonal way Kabuto does though. Sasuke appreciates silently.

-(tw: random violence and blood) Inspired by this amazing fanart by @lisimba-art. Sasuke is trained to use his curse mark, but it’s hard to completely control his powers in that form, with those weird wings and everything. So it’s exhausting for his body but also for his mind, he can’t even think straight at some point, and he can’t control his emotions either, even though he tries hard cause he can’t be weak. Orochimaru makes him fight against other ‘test subjects’ with the curse mark or with other powers he developed on them, and Sasuke kills them…he hates killing, as there is only one person he wants to kill. He feels his body move and he can’t avoid it, he feels his nails slashing another human and can’t avoid it, it’s horrible, it’s like being trapped in a nightmare. 

Karin stumbles on the fighting ground and sees him. They know each other by then, she is worried about him, many in Oto bet on how long he will last, if he will last, when Orochimaru will ‘devour’ him, if the curse mark will ‘devour’ him first. When she sees him Orochimaru, who was observing him with Kabuto, left already. Sasuke is standing alone, a few corpses around him. She approaches him, talking slowly and calmly, to check his wounds. Nothing too serious, the most worrying thing is his mental/emotional state, cause he looks around without actually seeing things, he seems lost, troubled. 

It takes a few minutes for him to see the one who’s speaking to him, and when he does he’s not in his usual state anyway, Karin can tell not just from his chakra but from his body language. He’s standing so, so close to her, his shoulders are hunched and his eyes are empty, or somewhere else still. Or maybe they want to be somewhere else, she can’t tell. She should feel the heat radiating from his toned body -she dreamt of a moment like this- but the tanned version of what is normally pale is so cold..maybe he got so close because she’s warm instead.   

“Sasuke…bite me, you’ll get some chakra back and you won’t feel cold anymore,“ she tells him, but he just hovers over her, silent as a hawk watching its prey, but unlike it, just staring at her. 

“I killed all of them” Sasuke’s voice is low and raspy, but he’s back, she’s glad but also sad because he’s clearly upset by what happened and she knows why. Everyone does. 

- (tw: mentions of blood/violence/r*pe) This works both for Otogakure and for Hebi/Taka travelling. Night time, Karin hears some low pained sounds and she realizes it’s Sasuke having a nightmare, about either the above mentioned moment where he was forced to kill random people, or about some abuse Orochimaru inflicted on him, either directly or through someone else like Kabuto. He suddenly wakes up and realizes Karin was there. She tries comforting him by saying that she knows what he felt back then cause she was done similar things, and also Suigetsu and Kabuto and others, even though she doesn’t minimize his experience (as Oro’s favourite he took more than others of whom he soon got tired). It’s a hurt/comfort moment where they share intimate traumatic experiences and bond.

Bonus dark points if the experience Sasuke had a nightmare of, involved the aforementioned indirect abuse inflicted by Orochimaru but indirectly, through his current comrades Suigetsu and Juugo, ofc hypnotized/drugged/in some trance. Karin connects with the way he sometimes looks at them when he’s more tired and vulnerable, almost imperceptibly but she can see chakra shifts. They talk, he doesn’t say anything but the things he said in his sleep were obvious so she tries to make him admit and he does, as he’s honest. He doesn’t blame them, he knows they were under Orochimaru’s power just like he was during his curse mark mode when he wasn’t able to control it.

He thinks that Suigetsu and Juugo don’t even remember that experience but they do, exactly like he does with his killing random people in curse mode form. 

More bonus dark points if Karin assisted to the traumatic thing cause she was Oro’s assistant too, sort of.

Related to my Akatsuki AU that is mostly in my mind for now (how unexpected lol) and it’s Itachi/Sasuke centric but there’s also a lot of Sasuke interactions (like, with Deidara a lot, I just like the idea) and lots of Team Taka that exists in this context first as Orochimaru’s subordinates along with Kabuto, then as Sasuke’s comrades, cause while Itachi is a full fledged Akatsuki, like Orochimaru (he never left Akatsuki in my AU), Sasuke is not, and like Orochimaru has subordinates affiliates to the Akatsuki, Itachi has Sasuke. Unlike Akatsuki wearing cloaks with red clouds, Akatsuki ‘lesser’ members wear black cloaks like Sasuke and Team Taka wore in canon. They are given missions too, they’re younger and less experienced that the others and their interactions and dynamics are similar to canon ones.

Uh Anon why did you make me think of more interesting scenarios tho, I had too many already lol

[twothousandonehundredninetynine]

The 100 Season 6 Episode 1 Spoilers

Okay!  I’ve basically described the episode the best I could. At the beginning, its pretty much the same up until a point where I just describe what happens to a group of characters to make it easier on me and hopefully for you! Also, don’t mind my spelling or lack of punctuation – although I do hope it doesn’t interfere with your understanding. Another disclaimer I may have missed some things in regarding to the order of details of events and the who actually said what but I tried my best!

Without further ado here is the first episode of the 100!

The  opening obvs begins with the recap of last season and honestly I would suggest watching the finale before the new episode... there were some things I forgot about that were in the finale which I what I’m going to get to.  New opening everyone !! surprise surprise the opening credits are of the new planet and it was great seeing our favorite actors back on the big screen!! The beginning starts out with Monty’s speech about doing better and our first shot is* gasp * the first picture that JRoth shared with us.  Then I believe it begins with Clarke and Bellamy explaining about how Monty and Harper had sacrifice their lives to finding them a new planet. Raven storms out and Shaw follows her. He is empathetic to her finding out and her loss about Month and Harper. I gather that she is upset due to the fact that they left her without saying goodbye. Shaw says that they chose happiness (they did) and that spending their last days together is not a bad way to go. They kiss that is on the borderline of making out and then Raven is like let’s go have s*x in a more romantic way obvs.  We have Clarke come in to the what I can only assume to be a mess hall and approachs lovable new character , Jordan, and he mentions that his father (Monty) left out algae for them to eat. I swear the whole Green Family are the most precious thing ever. Jordan also mentions that Abby is not eating. Clarke mentions that it may be due to Kane (!!!) still being in Cyro. Jordan remembers something and rushes off. Clarke bewildered; Clarke takes the algae.  (I can’t remember exactly if this scene is before or after Clarke taking the algae but I’m pretty sure it’s after ) Clarke turns and Emori is like Where’s Raven you know our friend that you tortured.  YES I KNOW. SHE SAID something -along the -lines-of THAT.  and then Echo comes to Clarke’s defense. YES YOU READ THAH RIGHT. ECHO.  She says “ Hey, but she did the right thing in the end”.  Emori is like” she gave up out friends’ Murphy is like” well for Clarke that’s like a Tuesday”. I think Bellamy breaks it up - honestly can’t remember because I was too baffled at everyone coming for Clarke except Echo.  Clarke says Raven is with Shaw and makes her way to her mom cause who would want to sit with them ANYWAY Clarke sits down with her mom and they briefly talk about Kane and finding their humanity again. When Jordan comes in and says that he has the algae that Bellamy used to poison Octavia -camera cut to Bellamy- And Jordan explains that his father thinks it could save Kane. Abby takes the algae and tells Clarke that the need to wake Jackson so he could go to the ground instead of her and Niylah to assist. Yes, Niylah is in the first episode.  It then cuts to our crew of Clarke, Bellamy, Murphy, Emori, Echo, Raven, Jordan, and Shaw creating a game plan for the ground It is noted in this conversation that a) no communication to the ground - however there is a beacon that they know of but that is as far as they got  b) they are taking guns along with non-lethal weapons as and it is stated that they will not be the ones to shoot first -THIS TIME c) Echo argues that they need the best fighters since they are not trying to rely on their guns - which means waking up Octavia - Bellamy is like no, we’ll take Miller :) d) Raven stays. They need a pilot but just one and the have Shaw who is familiar with the equipment and all so logically they decide to take him and they need someone in the ship in case they make contact  e) Lastly, Jordan does not go on the ground excursion much to his disappointment but Clarke said that his parents wanted him to be taken care of and that they won’t be able to do that when they don’t know what they are up against on the ground We next have our lovely characters getting ready to board onto the drop ship to go to the ground We have Abby hugging Jackson goodbye and Clarke coming up right after BUT LO AND BEHOLD WE HAVE OUR FIRST CONVERSATION BWTN MILLER AND BELLAMY and Miller is like I’m glad to be going with you this time ( BUT LIKE SERIOUSLY THOUGH HE DIDNT GO WITH THEM TO SAVE RAVEN AND HE WAS HURT)and he says he sorry for throwing him in the pit. And then Bellamy is like don’t worry about (:) ) you didn’t put me in there Octavia did and think they hug but either way I got the  feels with this interaction and they make their way inside It then cuts to Abby and Clarke. Aw it such a nice little moment and Abby says something about how they have done this before. Clarke then asks if anything should happen to her that she would take care of Madi. Abby like yeah yeah of course anything were to happen to you WHICH IT ISNT I’ll take care of Madi. And off they go into the new world.  Now currently Raven and Jordan are in the control room overseeing everything.. Anyway they lose contact with the ship, shocking I know. Jordan makes a comment about how there’s this weird swirling green thing on the atmosphere of this planet which he states is an aura ?? idk. Jordan  is adorable and is definitely his father’s son and Raven is like move our spaceship to another location so I can get better service due to this radiation interference.

 It cuts to Abby and Niylah with Abby putting the algae in a medical bag and preparing surgery for Kane. Once they are done Abby says they are going to need sky crew blood and to wake everyone up from it but Octavia.  Niylah asks about Raven and Abby says she’ll take care of her.

While the ship is moving Jordan is observing the outside window, you know the Bellarke window, and sees something ! What is it? an actual shocker the new EaRTh that they are on is a moon. That planet we see in the trailer is you know the actual planet. And our new child that we must protect starts to get emotional at the sight because he knows that his parents would have loved it. Raven tried to console him, only to have Abby come in stopping Raven. since you know she wants to know why Abby is talking to her. At this point I forget why Raven and Abby are so short with each other up until the point of Raven putting her hand to her neck and well I forgot Abby shocked her. I felt bad for forgetting that. Upon realizing that the scene makes more sense, Abby comes in to ask Raven for blood for Kane and Raven is like I don’t care why you’re here but upon hearing about Kane she is like here take my blood and go away. These two then have an interesting moment due to Raven being like you hurt me and Abby apologizing. Raven then retorts that she says that now but that would be until her next fix. Abby says she’s clean now leading to her saying I’m not your mom. Raven is like huh that’s funny my mom never hurt me while she got her fix. So things are a little awk with them

Abby and Niylah now have performed the surgery and she state that he needs to rest and goes to find painkillers. Welp, look who cant find them. Abby asks Niylah if she moved anything and she says she hasn’t. This leading Abby to go looking for Raven, who guess what had the pills. Raven retorts she was heeding Bellamy’s assignment to keep the ship running. Raven makes a good point of asking if Kane was awake when Abby states that the medication was for Kane. Raven ends up giving Abby the pills and she goes away with them.

This storyline comes back with Kane waking up and Abby is letting Kane know that they have woken up 125 years later. She ends up showing Kane the new planet and he is like hobbling but he is in awe. GUESS WHOO WALKS IN ??? Octavia. Niylah had woken her up with despite being told not to. During the Octavia waking up scene, we see Octavia being confused since it wasn’t Bellamy to wake her up and also her looking over to see that Bellamy was already up. Back to the Kane and Octavia scene, honestly this was such a good argument between the two of them I really can’t give you any lines but they say things to each other that will have you agreeing on both ends ( at least that is how it was for me) this fight however leads to Kane like almost dying. He exerted himself just a bit to much he begins to cough of blood and sort of seizes. Abby tells Octavia to call of Niylah. Octavia of course doesn’t still with the mindset of Bloodriena and thinking him to be a traitor. Abby yells for Niylah while performing CPR, Abby tells her to perform for surgery but Niylah states that there isn’t anymore algae. Niylah says “He’s gone”. Abby says “ Like hell he is”.

This story returns with Abby putting Kane in Cyro who apparently is alive but barely. We see Abby clutch her painkillers but after a moment of though tosses them to Raven. She tells Jordan to come with her and they are off to make more algae. BACK TO THE GROUND. HERE WE GO.  So everyone in getting to the ground and yay we land safely but like I said uh oh they lost contact with Raven. So they come to the door and they someone says “let the air be breathable let the air be breathable” and the door lowers to find the new planet nice and vivid. Furthermore, this scene is very reminiscent of the pilot and that’s exactly what our characters were thinking too. As We get confirmation from Emori that there is no radiation that would harm them Clarke looks to Bellamy and says he can be the one to go first this time and he’s like no. TOGETHER. ( meaning everyone but STILL) Miller then ask does Anyone think there’s something else better to say besides We’re Back Bitches ? And Clarke mentions Monty, he said it best of do better. They all agree and take the step, Shaw then leads them away towards the beacon. 

We come across the crew again by a body of water, I can only assume as being a lake. And y’all this show is basically Canada with a vivid filter on it. Its beautiful. They take in the new sight and Clarke briefly mentions that it looks like the sun is eclipsing. Murphy being Murphy sees the body of water and is like I’m taking a bath and starts stripping his shirt. He dives in and they all hesitate on whether or not he’s okay and swims back up fine. Him and Emori have a cute moment here as he pulls her in the water and they are laughing. The scene ends there, which I’m like aww cause you know everyone could’ve been shirtless.  We pick up with back while they are at a campfire and MILLER AND JACKSON FINALLY HAVE A NICE SCENE TOGETHER.  JAckson is taking in the wonders of the new planet as he is observing bug in a jar and we see Miller upset. Jackson consoles him by asking what’s wrong to which it seems Miller is coming to terms with what he did down in the bunker. Jackson says he did what he had to do and so did he. Miller makes a point of saying he did things while Jackson saw him do the bad things of which are both different views. So it looks like these characters are truly going to be living by Monty’s words of doing better. We cut to the campfire and where I can’t remember how the conversation started, I was distracted by Becho’s weird hugging position. Clarke apologizes to Shaw. Shaw responds to a manner I can’t remember but it evokes Clarke to say that she did things while on the ground that she know were wrong but if she could she would change it but she can’t it. Murphy makes some off handed comment; Clarke responds with her own snipe.  Shaw responds that it our actions that redeem us and she hasn’t had done any actions to accuse her of this. At this point, they realize the bugs are gone— honestly if I was them I would’ve been like cool bye bugs. They take this as a warning sign and then all of a sudden they hear this big buzzing noise. Jackson is like hey guys look at the bug in the jar it’s going crazy. The group quickly realizing, as Murphy smacks a bug that was on his neck, the bugs are swarming and going after them. Shaw announces that they need to get to the beacon now and off the go running for their lives. During this chaos , Emori shouts for Murphy and realize they lost her someone realizes they should use the flares they have to detract the bugs briefly as they find her and get their bearings they run and run and Shaw shouts that they are almost there..... Prepare yourself.  I’m not the best writer but seriously major spoilers ahead.  Our group runs as these bugs are SWARMS-Hunger game Tracker Jacker level of swarms attacking them. Shaw pulls ahead and hits an invisible wall that I wished had made him jump back but unfortunately this wall affects Shaw exactly the way a mosquito hits the zapper light but continuously. Now don’t be confused it appeared like that but this wall was essentially electrocuting him with radiation. Clarke is the first one to be able to realize that this wall is made of radiation making her the only one to go through this wall and get Shaw. Clarke quickly reacts meaning there is now consultation with anyone in the group. So we see as Clarke charges towards Shaw the camera cuts and we see Bellamy’s high level emotion face and him screaming at her to get back. Clarke is able to get Shaw to the other side where Shaw slightly resembles how Atom looked in Day Trip. He says to her that the code is 815 or something like that , idk how he knew that he may of said why but I was a little distraught at this point. Clarke reacts quickly puts the code in which allows everyone to cross this invisible wall and she puts it back up.  They come together to surround Shaw at this point, Jackson is about to use I think drugs to help lessen the pain or something but Shaw tells him no. To not waste it on him. He says to the group that they need to tell Raven that she deserves happiness. Another fallen character.  We revisit the group as it is now day and they are making their way up a mountain/hill but it doesn’t look to strenuous but everyone is a bit raw having lost Shaw. Someone starts a conversation but it leads to Murphy making a off handed comment about Madi which leads to Clarke about to start a fight. I think that may have shocked Echo idk. Miller stops her, which then leads Murphy to start going on about Bloodriena. Miller is about to go off on Murphy before Bellamy interferes and is like “guys don’t, I get beating up Murphy is fun but we can’t”. Someone brings up that they lost their pilot which Bellamy responds that Emori will pilot them and she retorts. This may be what leads to the whole Murphy/Clarke/ Miller interaction but can’t remember. Anyway someone spots stairs and they find they made their way to the top. As Murphy elegantly put it “They have a castle” We see the group again and they are knocking on the doors so see if any one is home. Murphy - in the trailer - kicks opens one and idk if it’s a home or a place of worship but they end up finding this shrine of the family that was Eligius III. They find a handcuff in the corner, of course Murphy comments about that being kinky. As they are leaving Murphy takes a Music player, Bellamy tells Murphy to put it back. But of course,  he takes it.  We now see the Murphy scrolling through the music playing him commenting that he knew a lot of these songs from his time being in the bunker that Jaha locked him in and Emori trying to pick the lock to a door. He approaches to stop and asks her to dance with him. She tells him to stop as he attempts to dance with her. So instead Murphy starts to sing, yes SING. I wish I knew the song to tell you I was taken with his performance. We have the characters reacting to him singing and it’s adorable. They cut to Bellamy and a Echo on a swing and Clarke further back leaning on a merry go around. She eyes becho and is like nah I’m going to go exploring. She goes into the building she’s by and sees that it’s a school. Clarke spied another handcuff in the corner of the room. She furrows her brow but continues looking in the room only to find a storybook about the red sign aligning. She starts to read only to be interrupted by Bellamy.  OKAY SO THIS IS WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THE RADIO CALLS AND I WONT BE ABLE TO DO IT JUSTICE BUT THIS IS WHERE IT HAPPENS AND BELLAMY BASICALLY TELLS CLARKE MADI TOLD HIM AND THEN CLARKE TELLS HIM THEY KEPT HER SANE. AND THEN I DIED. After this interaction, Clarke leaves cause you know to much emotion by citing she wants to see the Murphy show leaving Bellamy with the children’s book. Clarke goes outside but Bellamy is like Clarke did you read this book. Echo is there too. This book is ominous as it almost details the chaotic nature our group encounters. Such as yep the bugs go crazy. And their friends become foes. And guess what they leave this area? Moon! Whenever it’s time for what I’m assuming to be the eclipse psychosis which is meant to last days ( don’t quote me on that it’s a few days but can’t remember the exact number) Cue Emori going to attack Murphy with a knife and everyone does their best to restrain her and help Murphy. Clarke, upon looking at the scene unfold before her declares that its in the air. Before, they even think of returning to the ship they look over and see that their ship is rising. Yep, someone stole their ship. And this is where the episode ends with them realizing that they are stuck there during these days of the eclipse psychosis. You spoiled enough?;)

[alicezan-ncgred]

Bleeding Red

Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.

TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.

Time for the thick and thin of it.

Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.

The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.

With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.

The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.

Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.

I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.

I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.

Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul​, only one has a happy meaning.

The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.

I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.

Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.

Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative. 

People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely  meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this. 

I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too. 

I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin. 

Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better. 

This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.

The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.  

OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression. 

On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.

I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that. 

Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD,  Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.

You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind. 

My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue. 

The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt. 

Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly. 

Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling. 

Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode. 

I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell. 

[homokommari]

audi-tou

replied to your post

“bioshock infinity 2: detroit: become human: resistance is bad :)”

What’s all the bad stuff to happen so far?

we just finished watching a playthrough and oh man it’s so so so bad. 

under the cut bc its long and discusses heavy shit

like david cage literally just took the oppression of black americans and redid it poorly with androids. he literally believes in benevolent slave masters, like markus got the idea that he has worth like a human being literally from his owner. Owner. a guy who Owned him but was also nice to him. gag. and markus is non stop struggling with how oh no they are being violent in their quest to get basic human rights like what the hell else are literal slaves supposed to do? ask nicely to their nice slave masters to be seen as human? that literally was not what happened in america. 

but here david cage has no resorvations to use a black female character to parrot his bullshit about how black people were freed by nice white people and how they couldn’t have done it alone wuwuwuwu

talking of racism..... it’s supposedly isn’t a thing in detroit become human? in less than 2 decades america has completely gotten it’s systematic racism. not just macro agressions but micro agressions are all gone. how the hell did usa have complete liberation for people of colour without getting rid of the police OR poverty, BOTH which are a HUGE part of oppression of poc in america! like it makes no sense!

but altho racism is (SUPPOSEDLY) eradicated, sexism still perseveres! that’s right! characters will still yell BITCH! 

altho at the same time the game has a .... brother, i guess? with androids as sex workers. and it has this weird “it’s equality” thing going on where there are as many male androids being showed off as there are female androids. like the attraction of androids for sex is w/o a doubt the androids inability to not consent (making it also unable to consent!) and like since sexism still exists from the fact that womanhood is devalued, how come are those places not explicitly marketed towards men who want to be sexual/violent towards women? 

am i to believe that homophobia is such a non issue also in 20 years that gay men may openly seek out sex toys at a same place as straight men? like if we look at the statistics on male victims of rape, the rapists are more men. and that is because of society not caring for gay men being victims of rape, so male rapists can operate long without being caught if they target vulnerable gay men. so in this universe does homophobia exist still or not? it just makes no sense. 

the lesbian sex androids that fight in heels and underwear is so gross i don’t even wanna talk about it. im just gonna ask how can you write and masturbate at the same time?

and from that to my final complaint: kara & alice

so like this i can critique with the most insight since i am An Abused Child

and i knew we were in for some shit when i saw this

uhhh yeah. i also take antidepressants. so i don’t *** ********. and like it has a list of 280928389 side effects (none of which i’ve noticed to have so yay for me!) and the fact that they highlight that one. that fucking one. 

ANTIDEPRESSANT

Warning: this might turn you from a nice person to an abuser. :( but its ok i know this isnt u, its the meds <3

yeah. 

so before we witness the abuse we learn that the dad a) is taking that drug. b) lost their job (still had money for an android??? fuck me) and c) their wife left him and started a relationship with another person after that or possibly cheated on him. 

and the game is telling us these things as to say this is the reason this man is who he is. 

being an abuser has no relation to any of that stuff tho! and portraying an abuser like this has no relation to reality! 

and most importantly: in this time of sexual abuse in entertainment, politics, everywhere is being uncovered WE DO NOT NEED TO SYMPATHIZE WITH ABUSERS. we do not need to be made sympathize with the abusers when they are already given more sympathy than they deserve and victims are getting more abuse. 

and to come back to this story has no connection to reality... we live in a society that devalues women and worships men so in entertainment we are constantly showed stories of men being cheated on by women to get sympathy for the men. and the amount of men being shown cheating on women is nothing compared to the other way around, even though in reality men, powered by their male privilege, cheat on women statistically so much more. 

what is reality though? women leaving their husbands because he is abusive. that is a story that david cage could have told that would not have been completely disgusting, but no. 

and just the way alice is written... like someone just read like synopsis of a book on how children react to abuse from a parent and just wrote her parroting lines form the book. its so bad, unnatural, not at all how children react to abuse at that age and just creates plot holes. so alice whishes she could be like the other girls... how does she know what is and is not a normal home life. did she discuss her situation with other people and they shared their different, healthier experiances with their parents? if so why wasn’t the goverment or school or neighborhood involved?

also racism is supposedly eradicated but when kara and alice meet luther for the first time they flinch away....?! just because he’s a tall black man?!?

sooooooo when luther gains independence from his programming (being inspired by 2 white people.... gag) and joins them & they start having this family dynamic its super uncomfortable racist. a black man protecting white womanhood. 

and rose, a black woman, takes that role after luther.... like literally they just have black characters protect these white women with all they have.....

and the game is so........ dude-y. all full of dudes. what does being human mean to the very few women in the game? protectin others => motherhood.

sigh. and that is why i ask you to go donate to my gofundme to get a hitman on david cage. 

[girl-allmy-tea]

(I CANNOT WAIT FOR BOX BRAIDS TO GO OUT OF STYLE FOR NON BLACK PEOPLE)

I don’t want to rant but this shit is fucking annoying. Im not mad but I’m annoyed. Stuff like this is frustrating.The second I watched Hyuna’s new video I was immediately annoyed by her dancer wearing box braids. So I was curious if anyone else was. And I saw this comment and I knew someone was gonna have a whole fucking attitude about it. Shit like this makes me not want to be apart of this fandom because your idols can appropriate and disrespect the fuck out of someone’s culture and y’all mother fuckers will defend them to hell and back. It’s worrisome to be honest. People keep saying shit like “iT’s ApARt Of EvERyonE’s CUltuRE” or “lEt pEoPle wEaR THEre hAIr” FUCK YALL THAT SHIT ISNT THE SAME AS BOX BRAIDS. Where are these hoes getting the idea of box braids from? BLACK PEOPLE. There not looking at pictures and tutorials from some bitch in the 1800’s. And it also annoys me that when people want to put on a ‘sexy’ concept or ‘hip hop’ concept somebody int the fucking video just NEEDS to have dreads or braids. Why? And for black people who done really care. That’s on you. I’m offended and upset because I’ve seen too many people be kicked out of school and loose jobs for wearing box braids and for some reason non-black people aren’t penalized. Black people who don’t care are weird af to me. Do you like being black? Do you care that some of these idols only see you as a background in a music video? Do you care that they make fun of us? Why are they seen as ‘sexy’ ‘fashionable’ ‘urban’ or ‘cute’. Kpop is weird as fuck to me. Y’all so anti black but you want to party with us and use our culture.

This may seem like a small problem to most of you but things like appropriation is the building block for racism. Culture can be shared but the way people are doing it is fucked up. Black people included. Yeah, niggas say and do some fucked up shit and it’s wrong. They asses get called out for that shit. If you see someone being offensive, say something, call they ugly ass out. I don’t care what color you are, your race, or background; CALL ALL THESE HOES OUT!

Anyone can comment/message. Tell me how you feel?