#like they're so understanding of one another and their needs and boundaries i just :(((

[bamsara]

I think that one thing people fail to understand is that unsolicited literary criticism coming from an online stranger who is reading with no knowledge of what the authors intended goal is, is not going to be received the same as say: the authors beta reader or friends who know what the authors intended goal and has the sufficient knowledge and input to help the author reach that desired outcome.

"But I'm only trying to be helpful" How do I know you have the knowledge and literary skill for you to be able to actaully do that when we don't know each other and you are essentially a stranger to me? Are you applying this criticism based out of personal biased experience and desire to see the story or characterization be driven in another direction or tweaked, or do you know the author's intentions for the character? If the story is incomplete, are you basing your criticism of a character on the incomplete narration with only partial information available of them or are you building up a report until the story's completion? Did the author provide you with the information needed to make a fully informed criticism?

Have you discussed with the author what their plans are or are you assuming them based off the narration, especially if the narration is proven or implied to be unreliable or missing key points of the plot? Are you unbiased enough to help them reach their desired outcome for the characters and story regardless of your personal feelings towards the characters/antagonists and setting? Can you handle being told your specific input isn't wanted because you're a reader and/or have no written anything relating to their genre or topic? Do you understand and respect that the author's personal experiences might influence their writing and make it different than how you would have done it personally? Do you understand if an author only wants input from a specific demographic relating to their story?

If it's for fanfiction or other hobby media, are you holding a free hobby to a professional standard? Are you trying to give criticism because you feel like the author has produced 'subpar job performance' of their fic? Are you viewing their work as a personal intimate outlet or something that must conform with mass media? Are you applying rules and guidelines when the fic is shared for simple sharing sake? Is your criticism worded appropriately and focused on the parts where the author has requested input on rather than a general dismissal and or disapproval?

Have you put yourself in a place where you assumed you have the input needed for the story to evolve better, or have you asked what the author needs and what they're having trouble with? Can you handle having your criticism rejected if the author decides their story doesn't need the change and not take it as a personal offense against your character? Are you crossing that boundary because you think you are doing the author a favor? Are you trying to be helpful, or do you just want to be?

I think sometimes when people hear authors go 'please don't give me unsolicited writing advice or criticism' they automatically chalk it up to 'this author doesn't want ANY constructive feedback on their stuff at all' and not "i already have trusted individuals who will help me with my writing goals and- hey i don't know you like that, please stop acting so overly familiar with me'

[thedreadvampy]

update they messaged me to say they felt I had been very hostile to them the last 2 times they saw me (almost fair - I was very hostile to them 2/3 of the last 3 times I saw them) and "can we address this?"

so I said "no, not really" and they said "well do you know why" and I said "yes, but I don't think I can productively have that conversation with you so I'm not going to." and they haven't messaged since.

suuuucccessss????

there is a person in my life who I Do Not Like Being Around. they trigger all sorts of shit for me that makes me extremely irritable, defensive, tense, reactive, snappy, etc. I think it would be fair to say I hate them in that I see or hear about them and I'm already mentally squaring up.

(and that is an unusual experience for me. I am a dyed-in-the-wool hater of THINGS but I find it fairly difficult to maintain a lot of distaste and anger towards PEOPLE)

but the problem is.

a) I am conscious that I am not behaving rationally. I do not like the person I am around them.

and

b) I canNOT fucking get away from them. they are in basically all my social spaces, and every time I get involved in organising they're there trying to Be In Charge In A Non-Hierarchical Way. They're my best friends' best friend. They're my ex's partner. And even when I'm not anywhere near them people end up talking to me about how irritating they are. they are haunting me.

[wordsinhaled]

just musing about how niko was one of edwin's biggest unconditional supporters and gentle guides in his self-discovery of his sexuality, and i think it's so interesting that we still never saw edwin confide in her overtly about his feelings for/attraction to charles, though he easily could have at any time.

before the cat king ever shapeshifts into monty or charles to tempt edwin to realization, niko's there to tell edwin that it's okay for two boys to like each other, to let him know it's okay if he noticed monty when they first met, or if he enjoyed the idea of monty liking him; and she plainly tells him that he's completely allowed to want explicit things with another boy.

they talk about edwin's feelings and desires multiple times - he admits to her he's never kissed anyone, and even that the idea of kissing has become appealing to him. she asks him, does he want to kiss monty? does he want to kiss the cat king? but she never asks him directly, does he want to kiss charles? charles is the elephant in the room of that conversation, so to speak; the only other boy they know, the one she knows edwin is actually closer with than anyone else.

but she doesn't ask edwin about charles.

i think it's actually one way niko shows her love and care for edwin, her perceptive understanding of his boundaries, and her respect for his comfort, that she never pushes him to open up to her about this most vulnerable and newly-developing aspect of his truth—that his feelings are for charles—who is already the most important person in his life, and thus so much more life-alteringly consequential to him. even though she hasn't known edwin a long time she seems to grasp that he needs both the push and the personal space to come to his deepest realizations, even as she opens the door for him to come to them.

(i did consider for a split-second that maybe she never realizes it's charles that edwin's in love with, but i vetoed that thought immediately because... edwin just seems too deeply unsubtle for that to ring true. monty can see he's been passed over for charles. the cat king knows it immediately and asks about their 'special friendship,' and not just because he can literally read edwin's desires. crystal is going through amnesia and an identity crisis, and she still clocks that edwin and charles are like a married couple. so it only makes sense that niko can see it as well.)

plus, niko's got excellent reading comprehension, by her own admission; and she and edwin bond over both being great, astute detectives—getting to the bottom of a case is a love they share. and so i just think it's neat that between niko and edwin, the conversation about charles seems to remain deliberately unspoken even when it could easily become overt.

instead she speaks to edwin about charles in metaphors. she starts their conversation about physical intimacy and romance specifically with drawing edwin's attention to the red and blue starfish. "isn't it romantic? they're in love." they proceed to talk about monty, and about the cat king, but i doubt either she or edwin could fail to notice the color symbolism there. and when edwin tries to get scientific about it, she reminds him, "luckily, love requires no logic." and finally she gives him the red sea glass, for courage. courage to help him come to terms with what—and whom—he really wants, whoever it could be.

and in the end... edwin tells niko, "i did actually tell the boy i like that i like him." this is directly after niko tells edwin she's sorry monty turned out to be an evil spy crow and she and edwin commiserate about how things with monty didn't work out for him. and obviously, it was never the cat king edwin really liked. so, just like that, through process of elimination, edwin can only be talking about charles. and even then, they never say his name. they never have to.

i just think there's something awfully soft about how edwin's feelings for charles are first so deeply ingrained and natural to him as to be something he had to be woken to rather than something that happened to him suddenly. then once he was awake to what he felt and wanted, there's something i find lovely about the deep bond niko has with him, that she understands and honors his need to speak around his feelings for charles while holding space for him to still share them with her in his way. something about how charles is so deeply loved that it is easily understood, that he is there in the conversation without his name ever needing to be spoken.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.

A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.

However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.

I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."

I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.

I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.

While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.

I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.

Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.

AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.

What are these acronyms?

[genderqueerdykes]

trans men and women learn a lot from each other when we get close and it's a wonderful thing. it's okay to be dysphoric about manhood. it's okay to be dysphoric about womanhood. it's okay to not like he/him pronouns, to not like she/her pronouns. it's okay to not like how strangers gender you. it's okay to talk about these things with each other, to share mutual disgust, to see how it affects one another and how it shapes our identities and experiences.

it's okay to talk about the things that make you uncomfortable together. it's not invalidating each other's experiences to have conversations like saying "i'm so tired of being seen as a man no matter what, and being around people who treat me like a man" to a trans man and having the trans man respond by saying "i feel the same way about people who treat me like a woman" and agree to not project one's trauma on to the other

it's okay to be vulnerable. it's okay to admit when we don't understand certain parts of each others experiences, too. we do NOT have to act like experts and like we've "read the book" on what another person's gender is. even if we think we know a lot about that gender, we don't know everything, because we don't know everyone. literally. it's okay to go "i don't understand, but I'll call you whatever you identify as." and be receptive without knowing exactly what they mean.

we don't understand many things in life. that's fine. it's okay to just listen and not talk for once. you don't have to try to speak as though you've lived as a trans man when you're a trans women, and you don't have to speak for trans women if you're a trans man. we are allowed to advocate for our own experiences and simultaneously listen to other queer experiences and respect their boundaries, spaces, and needs.

there is a lot to learn about the challenges that trans women face, the unique struggles that come with some being raised as boys and the troubles that come with that, being seen as a feminine boy, being subjected to homophobia- getting called faggots and other slurs. some were raised as girls, some are intersex, and some are afab or other birth sexes, and the mixing of masculinity and femininity and cause a lot of issues when it comes to how society treats that person

there are lots of conversations that have to be listened to when it comes to the transmasculine experience and how nobody but transmasc people can articulate what it's like to live as a transmasculine person. no one can speculate on it, because it is such a unique experience. it is a complicated matter of several different types of prejudice that no one else can quite understand where it comes from and how it feels unless they've been there

it is so deeply rooted in misogyny, where people treat us like "stupid, confused women," like we're "destroying children" that we're 'destroying our bodies', that our hormones make us "unstable, irritable and emotional," and that we are unreliable narrators. we get called hysterical. we get told we're "ruining a pretty girl" or wasting our "pretty" features. we get lectured about how we need to be attractive and how testosterone will ruin that by our own parents. we get told we can't dress masc because it will make us "ugly" or "butch" or "dykes".

people hate it when we bind our breasts, cut our hair, hide our curves, change our gait, and stop wearing makeup. they lose a "girl" to ogle and become enraged, upset or uncomfortable. while the transmasc person is trying to navigate life in a way where they don't feel objectified, it becomes a matter of even worse objectification because now antimasculism is introduced into the mix and the experience becomes transandrophobia.

people are so hateful and bitter toward manhood and masculinity. people ask us "why would you EVER want to be a man? NOBODY wants to be a man." they tell us "men are ugly, violent, and mean." people tell us that men are sexual predators, that they're inherently abusive. people tell us that testosterone makes people ugly. they tell us that men aren't or can't be queer. they tell us we can't be a feminine man. they tell us we can't be men at all, that transmasculinity isn't even a thing, that transmanhood isn't a thing. we even get told that the only way to be trans is to be transfeminine, and what we are experiencing is a delusion, hysteria, or a result of us being hormonal from being on our periods and/or HRT.

when we listen to each others' experiences we realize how people who are othered by society are treated. we learn that not only we experiencing this, but so is everyone around us. we do not have to try to make one side's experience more important than another's. we can hold each other up by having conversations and being vulnerable about what's going on, how we're being treated, how we want to be treated, and how the community is failing us and how we can do better.

we deserve to have conversations. there's a lot to learn, a lot to laugh about, a lot to relate to, and a lot to be curious about. these conversations are good to have. it's good to admit when you know nothing about transmasculinity or transfemininity or any other identity. it's okay to ask respectful questions. it's okay to tell people when you appreciate their identities, and them explaining it to you. it's okay to just listen. it really is. we have to learn to listen it's not something that can be avoided perpetually for life. listening to someone else's conversation does not erase yours, it does not take it away from the equation. they exist together.

[traumasurvivors]

I see a lot of conversations surrounding consent and wanted to talk about it a bit.

When most people think about consent, they think about sexual contexts.  In reality, consent is important in non-sexual situations, too.  You need consent before you borrow or touch someone else's stuff, get in their personal space, or show up at their home.

When it comes to consent, it should be a freely-given yes. This means it is not threatened, guilted, manipulated or coerced in anyway. And silence is not consent. This means that things like "maybe", "I'm not sure" or even flirting are not consent. Consent must be a freely-given yes, and not what you assume is a "yes."

Another thing to consider is whether the person is capable of consent. If someone is high or drunk, they cannot consent. Children can never consent to sexual acts. And consent must always be informed, as in the person knows what they are consenting to.

Consent should also be for the specific thing you're about to do. Someone consenting to kissing does not mean they consent to touching or so on. Someone being in a relationship does not mean they automatically consent to anything else. Consent should also be for this specific time. As in, if someone has consented before, then that doesn't mean they consent this time. A person's comfort level may vary, or they just might not be up to something and that's okay.

With that said, sometimes people have different standards of consent in their relationship. And that's okay. For example, a couple may decide that in their relationship, someone doesn't need a "yes" every single time but is free to proceed unless someone says no. They've mutually agreed that it's okay to assume the answer is "yes". For them, they've decided their consent is 'no means no' instead of 'yes means yes'. Another example in a platonic relationship is that some friends might decide that in their friendship, hugging without asking is totally okay.

One example is that I have people in my life that are allowed to hug me without asking unless I ask them not to. My partner went to hug me when I was upset the other day, and that's okay because he has been told he can do so unless I say "no" and in this case, I did say "no" because I was upset. And he respected it, and we moved on. I let him know when I was up to being hugged again.

However, when agreeing to different standards of consent in a relationship, the same rules apply. It should be a freely-given yes to the new standards, and the person should be capable of consenting. They should also be fully informed of what they are agreeing to.

One last thing I want to touch on is that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Even if you're right in the middle of something.

Consent can be incredibly complicated, and if you are ever not sure, ask. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure someone is okay with the situation.

It's especially important to be careful in how you navigate consent with children.  Modelling healthy consent in non-sexual contexts with children helps them understand that their bodies are their own and they have the right to feel safe and comfortable, too.  It protects them from predators as children, and sets them up to navigate consent in healthier ways as adults later in life.

Consent for hugs is frequently ignored with children.  Many children are forced to give or accept unwanted hugs from family members and told they're being rude or unfriendly if they don't cooperate.  This teaches them that their bodily autonomy doesn't matter, and makes them vulnerable to sexual predators.  By allowing children to set their own boundaries around what kinds of non-sexual physical touch they are comfortable with, when they want to receive that touch, and from whom, it helps them learn to recognize and enforce their own boundaries.  Those skills are incredibly valuable later in adulthood when they begin to navigate sexual consent both with their own bodies and with the bodies of their sexual partners.

[myun-saidthoughts]

Understanding 12th House Synastry

(*updated* and more accurate post about about 12th house synastry overlays along with Neptune synastry that makes harsh aspects to another's inner planets such as the Sun, Moon, rising, Venus or Mars)

This post focuses exclusively on a 12th house relationship between two kind and evolved individuals. While there are other darker themes associated with 12th house synastry — such as deception, substance abuse, hidden affairs (like being the other woman or mistress), lies about one partner’s true nature, or fear that one partner is withholding information or their true self — I won’t be discussing those here. I might explore those themes in a future post, as they are important to note, but for now, my main focus will not include those themes.

“Though I barely know you, it feels as if I do. Your eyes and body language seem to speak your thoughts, even the ones I can’t fully grasp. There’s no visible thread connecting us, yet this feeling remains.” — Planet Person

There are two sides of 12th house synastry that I commonly see. The spectrum is different compared to the 8th house because with the 8th house, there are highs and lows, obvious extremes, there's oftentimes constant lessons, cycles and loops, but with the 12th house, there's a different undertone.

The 12th house is a very unforeseen house, when it comes with synastry, the spectrum of love that can be received and given is unfathomable. I am going to first discuss what this energy is like when someone deals with this type of synastry while having Neptune (especially harshly) aspecting your inner planets/12th house placements/Pisces placements; then I will go in-depth for how they would feel without those placements.

(that being said my main discussion deals with the foundation of both individuals having attraction or interest on both ends, as well as other intense synastry overlays such as harsh or soft attraction synastry aspects, + eros, lilith, chiron, pluto, or 8th house synastry)

As a 12th house native or with heavy Pisces influence (e.g., a Pisces Venus, Sun, Moon, rising, or with a natal Neptune squaring, opposing or conjunct the Sun, Moon, rising, Venus) this type of synastry is confusing, it's blurry and parts of you can second guess almost everything about them, what you are to them, what they are to you etc. There are no tangible boundaries when it comes to the emotional depth you are willing to feel for them. On some days you can find yourself wondering where you stand with them, you fixate on their energy, and you'll wonder if they're thinking of you. You look into their eyes and just feel their mental health struggles, their fears, their hidden thoughts, what they need to hear to feel seen past the 3D. You're like a walking and breathing affirmation audio tape of everything their subconscious always wished to of heard throughout life. That one broken image or belief they have within their subconscious self is the one thing you can't help but compliment them on, the feelings they ignore, suppress or hide away are the feelings you want to naturally reassure them about. It's like you become this real life 3D fixer upper for this individual, and you just can't help but be drawn with saving, helping, or fixing them. (undoubtedly so if you also fall in their 2nd house, especially your inner planets, if there is no 2nd house influence then the compliments/praising will be less intense or frequent)

The beginning of this synastry embodies confusion. Since there's no real tangible statement or understanding you can hold onto. You'll just know how they operate before ever really knowing them.

You'll just want to make sure that they are okay, and that can come in many different ways, you yourself will just know. You can turn into this savior that they never knew they needed, you'll just want to give and love everything out of them; and in some cases receiving or having that mutual give and take may be something you think you don't need, especially when it comes to them, and especially if you have a natal 12th House Venus or a Pisces Venus/a Natal Venus that squares, conjuncts or opposes Neptune (this can apply to the Moon as well).

If the above scenario resonates with you, then this individual is provoking a wound within yourself that deals with the acceptance of receiving authentic love. This innate need to only give highlights your own fear of receiving real reciprocal, stable, tangible love.

Therefore if you want to save, fix, heal or give, this desire only highlights that fearful nature within you where you allow to stay in shallow waters. You subconsciously know that you have such passionate love to give, but that thought of giving to someone who in turn might be willing to give back evokes fear and uncertainty within you.

This subconscious block holds more comfortability within you since it allows you to never accept a love where your soul will fully be fulfilled. It's self sabotaging and self written, you naturally already know how the story will end between you two, and so you subconsciously will find a character who perfectly embodies the story you yourself say you try to run from.

To reiterate; if you share the above placements you instantly can become drawn towards the house person. You will look at them and see every facet of their being, their hidden pain, their sorrows, why they feel the way they do, why they struggle the way they struggle, their mental health dilemmas, their soul; especially so if you as well have a water Moon that harshly aspects Neptune as well as the above listed placements. But these feelings don't persist automatically or openly, the desires the planet person or the one person who has the placements I listed/spiritual enlightenment + attraction towards the house person (or the other person) stays at bay and stays being unsaid, especially in the beginning. The planet person with these placements etc etc, can hold onto constant dilemmas and wonder if what they are feeling is real, if what they desire is one sided, especially if there is little to no communication between the dynamic.

On the other side of the spectrum, this bond (when wanted on both ends) can create a soul binding connection where the house person would feel like no one else can ever understand them the way the planet person can. No one else would be able to read them like the book they secretly are, no one else can look into their eyes and bring solace into their bones, which in-turn can cause the dynamic between them to consistently become something that is impossible to let go of.

With attraction + desire the house person may feel like a hug from the planet person* (or vice versa) is equivalent to receiving a sense of understanding and safety that they weren't aware they ever needed. The house person may just find themselves fully being able to lay and hold onto the planet person* and there's this unsaid desire just be next to them. The planet person* may instinctively feel this pull or knowing that there is a softer more serene side of the house person that not everyone see's and even though there's no tangible words to hold onto, that feeling within them doesn't dissipate. Just with one hug from the house person and the planet person* will know that there's a soft and quiet side inside them that they hide or suppress away.

* = placements I listed + spiritually understanding/enlighted

The house person will ask themselves: How do I let go of the one soul who speaks to the parts of myself that I don't even know? The intensity of the bond can vary based on each others natal placements, but I do believe the connection can become deep and unworldly even without the placements I've listed since attraction and desire are two KEY factors that would override any natal placement. Instant psychic understanding about one another on both ends (regardless of natal placements) can occur, you both will know what the other person is thinking, feeling, and needing. If there is genuine desire for one another then the depth of care can become very ethereal and unspoken, especially if the Moon or Venus are involved; if attraction is present and you have the placements I mentioned, a part of you will just want to hold onto the house person. You'll just want to comfort and be present in the moment with them. All that matters to you is that they are doing and feeling okay, with them this part of you unlocks where you just want to caress their soul. But like I said natal placements do have an immense influence, one individual could feel this pull and understanding (w/o the placements I mentioned) but the depth and length for caring may not run as deep as someone else who has the natal placements I listed. They will still care in some shape or form in ways they never knew was possible; but the turnover of moving on or of minimizing selfless acts can become more shallow and less frequent throughout time.

When wanted on both ends with genuine care and desire the song Run To You by Lea Michele perfectly depicts this type of deep care.

Now this type of synastry can also begin the influence of delusion or false presumptions. Genuineness and self awareness is key, not everyone will desire such depth of the unknown especially if they themselves have no set understanding of their own subconscious beliefs.

To reiterate, if this is one sided therefore if they don't share attraction or desire for you; then this type of behavior will feel invasive and they may become confused or unsure with what to do with that type of depth that your eyes can bring them, if they are unaware of their own shadow self, along with not wanting to change or be spiritually awoken, this type of connection can be daunting and misleading in some way for them.

Now lets go deeper: for someone who doesn't have any 12th house Venus, Pisces Venus, Neptune influence (or if you have little to no attraction or interest towards them), or low spiritual awareness/acknowledgement of your own mental health struggles/hidden fears and if someone comes in to your life where they fall in your 12th house, the feelings that acclimate mainly are confusion, resistance or hesitation. You might have some hidden curiosity about the planet person but generally the curiosity can be the furthest you go with this individual. There might be some hidden tension or eye glances towards another but with it there is also a barrier between the two of you. You may feel like you know their body language or what their eye glances mean but you more than likely brush it off and set aside any spiritual coincidences that you have with them. You may also wither back and forth between being more inclined to getting to know them to being unsure with your interest in them or there's a sense of unpreparedness you may struggle with when it comes to this individual. A part of you may feel like their type of love can sooth parts of you that you ignore or mentally struggle with but that type of care can feel unneeded and can bring in fear; since there is a unspoken knowing of what they are able to truly view and feel for you if they were your partner. You may ask yourself, "Can this person fix, and heal me? " "Do I really need to be saved?" "Is this all in my head?" "Can they be the pacifier for the pain I can't even openly express; or will they bring me more sorrow?"

(this dilemma of curiosity is more apparent if you share other direct intense synastry aspects such as 8th/pluto/intense attraction aspects especially with eros or lilith etc)

Another strong note I wanted to state is how often times with 12th house and Neptune synastry; the reason why this is the house of "hidden enemies" or there's horror stories where one partner hid addiction, lies, another woman or their true agenda towards the other partner is because this type of synastry can genuinely cloud judgment and hinder honest communication. There is often hidden uncertainty or a lack of awareness of what is really going on, primarily because this dynamic makes it easy to fall "victim" to a false persona. This happens when you're unaware of your own wounds, patterns of self-undoing, or fears surrounding with receiving reciprocal love. While I'm not going too in-depth with these themes—since, in my opinion, they deserve their own post—I want to reiterate the importance of staying grounded, aware, and avoiding getting lost in illusions or overthinking about someone who you know won't (or can't) change.

That being said, if there is a connection where one person has these natal placements and desires for the other individual but the other partner doesn't share the same attraction/placements; then that is when unrequited love or unspoken love can occur. To summarize, for 12th house and neptune synastry to be mutual even if the other partner doesn't have those natal placements, there has to be attraction or desire; whether it be physical, or emotional. Someone could have these placements that I've listed but if there is no want, attraction or desire towards the other person; the dynamic can also become one sided on their end even with the placements and tendencies of being drawn towards connections that share 12th/neptune/pisces influence.

12th house synastry is the house of selflessness, this is the house of giving and giving to no end; since in one essence this house holds no end or beginning, therefore the boundaries and understanding that this house can carry is unknown. Each dynamic with 12th house synastry can be complexed, there are many factors that play a role in influencing this type of connection such as your natal placements, their natal placements, your natal aspects, their natal aspects, you desire and attraction and their desire and attraction and so on. Someone could sit in this confused and undesired energy for the other person for months and have all the placements I've listed. Therefore if that said individual is not prepared or have any desires to hold a connection that is deep and unspoken, they themselves (the planet person or the person who has 12th house/neptune/pisces influence) may even still feel fear or invasiveness towards the other individual that their share 12th house synastry with or vice versa; there are so many avenues and routes these connections can take, at least that's from my own astrological understanding and take on these type of connections.

Side Note: To balance the intensity these synastry aspects/overlays bring, taking on the opposite houses themes would bring more ease and create less intensity.

For example, dealing with 12H (Even Neptune) synastry, the opposite house is the 6H, the house of routine, daily life, mundane affairs, healthcare, helping others/giving etc etc. So to ease this type of fixation this synastry can cause, focus and enhance your own skills when it comes to your physical/mental health. Add more day to day to activities that solely focuses on changing your routine; however big or small. That will ease the fixation that 12H and Neptune synastry brings. This synastry can cause you to daydream or obsess over them, and since you may have this innate need to be their savior that wants to try and fix their wounds, the chance of putting yourself in situations where your priority is solely them is very likely. You could also fantasize and have an escapist attitude with them, (or the idea of them) therefore, they can serve as an escape for you; by focusing on their pain and struggles might cause you to forget about your own mental health challenges. You also might repeat scenarios in your head or fantasize about situations happening; especially since you might feel confused/hazy with where you stand with them, therefore keeping yourself busy is key with this synastry, and that will create more control within you.

P.S

This is all from my own interpretation of 12th house synastry, I would confidently say I am a very very introspective person at heart, I read between the lines constantly and overly fixate on behavior etc and this synastry still clouded my own judgment and understanding for years; it brought in tendencies for me to doubt my true feelings and curiosity, only until I more so let go of the relationship that I am referencing (the boy where I have 8th house synastry with) was the only time I was able to fully look outside my situation with him when it came to my actions and feelings. The constant back and fourth dilemma I struggled with when it came to knowing him and who he was was constant yet truly instant. My soul knew him before my brain did and because of that knowing I was unsure and unconfident with the type of feelings that persisted in the dynamic I shared with him. I have made so many posts about 12th house synastry but I can confidently say that this current post is now the most accurate representation of what can occur between these relationships.

Hope this brings some clarity and understanding for others who have dealt with 12th house and Neptune synastry; if not disregard and again this type of synastry is truly nuanced and multifaceted.

If this resonates with you I have an eBook that perfectly depicts and explains if you are in a karmic relationship. It's about 8th/12th/Pluto/Neptune/Saturn/Vertex/Nodal synastry. I give insights, exact transits, exact synastry overlays, natal chart interpretations and more advice on what to do in these situations. More information is pinned on my page.

[appleblueberry-pie]

A yandere Gojo below: Sometimes you wonder what this guy has in his head, you don't understand his weird way of wanting to flirt with you and how clumsy he gets when you're around trying to get your attention with really bad jokes (seriously, they're very bad). His presence somehow makes you feel uncomfortable, but you can tolerate it, I mean, you met similar or much worse people, and Satoru belonged to the group. He loves you, he's always told you and shown you, he takes you on dates to expensive places you don't end up going, so you make up a lame excuse when there's only two minutes left until meeting time. He doesn't get angry, but he doesn't understand why you don't love him, and when he saw your eyes light up upon hearing that Nanami had decided to return, maybe that question was finally answered.

You hated distancing yourself from people like him. Satoru was so genuine about his feelings for you and it's something you've always wanted from your dream man. But everything that he does to show it is so...unnerving.

Weird messages where he pushes boundaries and doesn't know when to step back. Gets in your space when you're not comfortable and he can't tell he's being too touchy. Just so bad at reading social cues in general. And is bad at reading your cues. He buys you so much stuff you're endlessly grateful for and takes you on all of these nice dates, but how he talks to you and acts with you is such a big turn off.

So, you distance yourself. You let him make those dates, you let him pick those places, and you decide last minute you don't want to go. And instead of telling him that and have you bother in your safe space at your house....you just leave him to deal with that. You hate being like shit to him, he doesn't deserve it because he really tries for you. But he doesn't know when to stop when you say no, it's so fucking annoying. You really don't like him.

You felt bad switching to Nanami. He has everything Gojo has and has what he doesn't either. Respect for boundaries and all. You sigh.

This was the 5th date you've turned down. No matter. He'll just plan another one with you another time. But it's a little hard to keep your attention on him when you're giving it all to the lousy businessman. Nanami was nothing compared to him.

Fortunately, that makes him easy to get rid of. He's nowhere near as strong as Gojo, isn't fun and flashy, and just overall has the most boring life ever. How could he compare to the strongest?

Gojo doesn't know why you're trying to sneak around with him anyways. There's nothing to be ashamed of, it's not like he feels humiliated or anything. It sounds more like a cry for help by you, if anything, if you're switching to that guy. He's clearly doing something wrong. Is......he too pushy? Do you not like his money? Maybe he needs to lay off with all of the gifts and letting money fly everywhere.

Maybe you like a more responsible man........hm. Maybe you could find that in Nanami, but he'll still kill him for trying to steal you away from him.

It's a little sad that you think hiding your little side piece from the main would stop him from doing what needs to be done. But it doesn't matter. He will be gone before you know it.

[urgonnaneedabiggership]

Could you make a fic where Miguel gets the female reader pregnant and they're happy but he's worried about her safety? Maybe have a villain find out? Cause some angst?

Risk Something (You're Losing Me)

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara (Spiderman: Across The Spiderverse) x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language. Spoilers (Miguel's backstory is mentioned). Angst! Alert!, Unplanned pregnancy!Alert.

Word count: 4.3K

A/N: Since I had already established some background and emotional intimacy, I thought I could write this as a sort-of-sequel to my previous one-shot Host of a Ghost. I was so excited to write this, especially because I don't usually write angst but I like to push my boundaries and leave my confort zone. Hope that it pays off and, of course dear anon, that you like it <3

Part III

You’d never really believed in long-distance relationships. After being witness to so many unsuccessful ones, you’d cataloged the entire concept into a box labeled “certain failure” and tucked it away in the back of your head. And yet, with an inconsistency worthy of your friend Hobie, you’d gone and gotten yourself involved in no less than an interdimensional relationship.

How? Well, that was a good question.

All it took was five simple steps:

Step one: Live a regular life. Go to school, graduate, and try to go for a Ph.D. that gets you working near genetically modified insects for just the right amount of time for you to become careless enough to let one crawl onto your backpack, take it to your apartment, and let it sting you. Throw in some negligence, forfeit going to the hospital, and go on about your afternoon. Warning, some side effects like loss of consciousness or intense headaches can be expected.

Step two: Congratulations! You’ve now become a super-powered person with abilities that range from climbing walls and performing gravity-challenging parkour to creating a sticky web-like element that helped you swing from one building to another. Toy around with your new talents, and grow comfortable with them before realizing that you can actually use them to be the much-needed help your city needs.

Step three: Turns out you’re not the only one with this kind of ability out there. There’s a whole Spider-Society full of similarly enhanced people who try and do their best to keep their own dimensions safe, and you’ve not only caught their eye but have actually been invited to join them. Let your new guide Jess Drews show you around, and explain all the benefits that come from joining a team such as theirs. If you decline, you can go back home and that’ll be all.

If you’re interested, it’ll be necessary to convince the leader but they could use some extra help so it shouldn’t be particularly hard. It sounds like an amazing chance. Information you wouldn’t have access to otherwise, mind-blowing facilities where you can polish your newly acquired abilities, possible new friends that actually know what you’re going through…Say you’ll think about it. Right as you’re about to leave, the most fucking gorgeous man you’ve ever seen in your entire life walks past without paying either of you any mind, busy while speaking to another Spider-Person. You ask who that is, turns out he’s the aforementioned leader, “will I ever have to work with him?”, you ask. “Probably, eventually” Replies Jess. Ask when you can start.

Step four: Do your best to earn your place in this elite group. Successfully improve your fighting skills, read everything available on interdimensional traveling and the multiverse. Understand it almost instantly because that’s how smart you are, kudos to you. Realize that for some reason, despite never actually interacting with you, Spider-Society leader Miguel O’Hara tends to stare. A lot. Is it because you’re progressing as fast as Jessica says or because she’s a complete liar and you’re actually doing it all wrong? No idea. All you know is that even during mundane scenarios like laughing in the hall with all the newest additions to the team or in line at the cafeteria, you feel a certain tingle in the back of your head that makes you turn around. Of course, the moment your eyes meet, he turns around and leaves. An odd one, yes. But you’ve also heard things. Rumors, here and there about his life before creating the Society. Whispers about a lost family and some video archives being the only evidence that they even existed in the first place. And, of course, the fault he had in the destruction of their dimension. You sympathize with him, despite his apathetic attitude towards you. You’ve seen him interact with those he’s closer to, and you know there’s more to him than he lets on. You’d be elated if he ever let you take just one look at the smidge of his old self that sometimes peeked out from behind the iron curtain. Well, not really. One look wouldn’t be enough. If anything, it would only cement your feelings for the man.

Step five: Curiosity killed the cat. We all know that. You know that. And yet, you decided to go snooping around Miguel O’Hara’s computer and personal files until you accidentally switch his computer on for long enough to let the videos he’s always watching start playing. He…his daughter…an entire lost life gone before his eyes. Then, before you could do the right thing and turn the computer off, an eerily familiar voice called at him from behind the camera. So, of course, you had to keep watching. Long story short? All those oddly constant stares, that coldness towards you, unwillingness to look you in the eye, was because of two reasons: first, you were a nearly identical interdimensional variant of the wife he’d lost in the dimension he unwittingly erased from existence. Two, as he’d confessed after realizing you’d found out about the truth, Miguel had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with you, not as a replacement for somebody from his past but as a new presence in his life that he’d been struggling to watch from afar, unwilling to let all his repressed feelings spill out like water from a broken dam. Until that night, of course.

Now, eight months later, you’d come to realize there was actually a sixth step you’d never actually considered until now that you were in this…situationship.

Step six: Uncomfortably avoid every and all circumstances in which interdimensional disparities and canon consistency regarding your relationship could come up. Don’t say anything like “Well, it’s been nice but I’ve got to go back to my own dimension” because that would remind him that his dimension was not yours too. That you were after all still a stranger in a strange land. Which of course also meant never inviting him to stay in your dimension.

Deep inside, you knew that all those details would eventually cause problems, especially regarding the inner conflict Miguel was always dealing with knowing what he was doing…what you were both doing, went against his strongest principle. But by God he was happy. Happier than he’d thought he could ever feel again. More than he deserved. So he just ignored those intrusive thoughts and focused on whatever task was at hand. And you were too. Even after just eight months, life without him already seemed unimaginable. He was your first thought in the morning and your last before you went to sleep, and more than once his presence beside you had been not just a figment of your imagination, but a part of your reality as you felt his strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer whenever you strayed too far from him in bed as he groggily whispered, “¿Y a dónde crees que vas, preciosa?”, Or when he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, lining it up with soft kisses that sometimes ended up in both of you being late for your assigned tasks. With so much on the line, you were more than happy to avoid those spiky subjects. It seemed like such a small price to pay with all you were getting in return.  

You weren’t sure of where all this was going, but none of that mattered. Right now, you were together. Inside the Spider-Society you were a great team and each one was a valuable asset. Outside, every second spent in your arms was enough to make him forget Spider-Man. To you, he was Miguel and nothing more. And that was all you needed.

Life was good. You were happy with the way things were. Until, as it usually happens, a necessary disruption came quite literally crashing into your life in the shape of a fifteen-year-old that carelessly swung around a corner and crashed into you after you’d been chasing him like the rest of the Spider-People after receiving Miguel’s message.

“Miles?” You asked, recalling his name, which you’d actually been hearing for quite some time since the circumstances of his existence started being a problem for your boyfriend. The boy didn’t answer. He just looked at you, his eyes filled with confusion and fear until you hesitantly took a step aside to leave the escape route open for him. If anything he looked even more baffled, but when the noise of his pursuers reached your ears he rushed down the hall and you lost him after he took a sharp turn.

Before you could be spotted, you ran in the opposite direction and hid around a corner as you tried to call Miguel on your watch. Of course, it was in vain. Well, Plan B. Fortunately, this time you did get a reply.

“(Y/N)?”

“Peter! Yes, it’s me! Where are you?”

“Where do you think? I’m going after him like everybody else. I need to get to him before…sweetie, please just get back in there, Daddy’s on the phone right now…I need to get to him before- “

“He’s already left the headquarters,” You informed him.

“Wait, you saw him?”

“About a minute ago. He was on his way to the North exit.”

“(Y/N), are you sure you should be a part of this chase right now?”

“Why not? Jessica is there, isn’t she?” You replied, smiling to yourself. Good old Peter B., looking out for you like some sort of self-appointed brother figure.

“Well yeah, but she’s not running, kid. Although I don’t think she should be on one of those death machines either, I don’t what she’s…”

While he kept on rambling for a bit, you looked around and wondered if you’d ever seen the building this empty.

Empty.

Your eyes slowly ran along the pearly white walls until they landed on the hallway that led to the room where the Go Home Machine was kept. Practically unchecked, if Spider-Byte had joined the pursuit.

“P.B., I’ll talk to you later,” You absent-mindedly replied, hanging up on him without waiting for an answer as you dashed down the hallway.

You kept thinking about that poor kid’s eyes. After having all that information unloaded onto him, instead being given enough time to somewhat process everything he now had to escape from the very people he was supposed to feel safe amongst. When he sat on the floor right in front of you right after the crash, he was sure you would immediately hand him over. Maybe a few months ago you would’ve done it without hesitation but now…things had changed.

There it was. The Go-Home Machine. You thought you saw a purple blast inside that let you know Byte was still there. However, if your theory was correct, Miles would have to go through that hall and therefore, you. A few minutes later, a sudden voice booming from your watch startled you.

“(Y/N)!”

���Miguel? Where are you? I’ve been trying to…”

“(Y/N), listen to me! Miles lured everybody out on purpose, he’s trying to get to the machine. I can see your location back at the headquarters and he should be coming your way in less than a minute!”

“Alright. I’ll handle it.” You replied, ending the call before he could ask you to elaborate on that.

Sure enough, light footsteps came in your direction shortly after. Right as Miles entered your field of view, an alert issued by your watch made your stomach drop and a dreadful feeling fill your chest. However, you’d made up your mind. There was no going back now.

Mile spotted you at the end of the hall and stopped in his tracks. His eyes were determined, not as afraid as a few moments earlier. If he was there that meant he’d somehow gotten past Miguel. You fought back a smile when you wondered how pissed he’d be about it. Having his ass kicked by a teenager was something that, maybe under different circumstances, you could tease him about.

“He’s a delight, isn’t he?” You finally spoke, trying to somewhat lighten the mood while taking a step toward the kid. However, he got in a defensive stance, furrowing his eyebrows in distrust.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to talk.” You assured, showing him both your hands, “Miles, listen very carefully. This is exactly what Miguel was talking about a while ago. At this very moment. Right now, I’m supposed to stop you from getting to that machine and handing you over,”

Of course, he took another step back.

“Miles I’m not going to do that,” You assured him.

“Why not?” He immediately asked, constantly looking behind him, wondering if this was just you trying to stall him like, unbeknownst to you, he thought Peter had tried to do a while ago.

“Because I’m sure there’s a better way to go about all this. I love him so much, I do, but he’s so afraid that I don’t think he’s willing to see other possibilities and by the time he does, it might be too late for you. Now go before anybody else gets here.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice. Miles darted past you as soon as you finished talking, taking a second to look back before reaching the dimly lit room where his ticket home was. His eyes scanned your face and darted down for one second before he looked up at you, a new worry in his eyes that had you wondering whether his spider-sense was strong enough to perceive something you’d just found out yourself.  

“Are you going to be okay?” Miles asked, his eyes looking down for a moment once again. Did he know? Did he mean “you” as in just you or as in…?

“Yes, don’t worry. Now get out of here.” You insisted. With one last hasty “thanks”, he ran into the room as your left in the opposite direction. You weren’t worried about Spider-Byte. She was a good kid, and she’d do the right thing.

The right thing. What did that even mean anymore?

You’d deal with the moral implications later. For now, as you found yourself on the other side of the headquarters, your mind was set on finding Miguel. Maybe you could try and talk some sense into him, make him reconsider whether this was…

“What the hell was that?”

By now you’d gotten used to Miguel’s habit of sneaking up on you. Usually, hearing his voice coming out of nowhere brought a smile to your face. This time, you closed your eyes and winced as you felt his presence behind you.

“Don’t even try lying. I know that voice you used in the call. The one for when you’re about to ignore whatever order I’m about to give you, so I checked the cameras.”

“Miguel, I…” You began to explain yourself just to be harshly cut off.

“(Y/N), what were you thinking? Do you realize what you just did? Do you have the slightest idea of the consequences…?”

“I do realize that you just asked a fifteen-year-old child to stand by and let his father get killed right before calling his existence a mistake, Miguel. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking of our safety, and that includes Miles’. You’re right, he’s a kid and that means he’s selfish and immature enough to endanger everything we’ve all been risking our lives to protect for years.”

“Miguel, listen to me,” You insisted, “You’re scared. I know. I am, too, but have you ever considered that maybe there’s another solution? Do we even know for sure that allowing the kid to go and try to save his father is going to cause any real damage?”

“What if it does? Are you just going to tell me “Sorry, Miguel, you were right” and that’s all? (Y/N), Dios mío, piensa. Gwen said the same thing but we couldn’t trust her with being objective because he’s her friend,”

“Wait, what do you mean couldn’t?” You asked. Miguel clenched his jaw and turned away, unable or unwilling to look at you.

“Miguel, please tell me you didn’t send her back. Not with how she left things back there,”

His absolute silence told you everything. Shaken, you took a step back.

“What is wrong with you?” You hissed the disappointed look in your eyes hurting like a sharp dagger to his chest.

“(Y/N), mi amor, I’m just trying to…”

“You’re such a hypocrite,” You angrily spat out, “You go around preaching about how important sticking to your stupid canon is and the delicate balance of the multiverse when you know damn well that what we’re doing goes against every single one of those things,”

“No, no, that’s very different,” Miguel disputed,

“How is it different?” You argued back, boldly moving closer to him wishing you were taller so you could face him, “I’m from another dimension, there is no way that we were supposed to meet from the beginning. You had your world, this world, and when you tried to live another life in a different one, an entire dimension was destroyed. I had my world, and for all I know maybe there was somebody there that I was supposed to meet but thankfully I ended up here first so I could meet you. But you know what? My universe is fine, yours is too and I swear I had never been happier in my entire life.”

“You’re right.” He muttered in deep thought.

“Yes, I am. And maybe…” You started to say, a relieved smile tugging at the edges of your mouth until he looked up and the expression in his eyes made your throat dry up.

“We’ve been messing with fire all this time. There is probably somebody you can be with without endangering your entire dimension. And this…this is the hand I was dealt and I should just accept it and live with it. You’re right. Maybe this was all a mistake from the beginning.”

“No. No, come on, you don’t mean that.” You shook your head in denial, lifting both your hands to cup his face in your hands, to bring him close like he had done the night you finally could let all the love you felt for him escape its confinement in your chest.

Miguel grabbed your hands before you could touch him and moved away from you before releasing them as he finally built up the courage to look you in the eye.

“Are you serious?” You asked, your voice quivering with anger as you felt tears begin to dwell in your eyes, “So that’s it? You’d rather sacrifice us than find a different way to solve this?”

“Well, what did you think was going to happen, (Y/N)? That this would go on forever and we’d keep pretending everything is fine and that you don’t have to wear a fucking machine on your wrist every time you come to see me because even the cells in your body know you were never supposed to be here?”  

“Oh, right, so you expect me to believe that you always knew this was going to be temporary? Then what was this? Something to take the edge off after a rough day until you decided it was time to stop fooling around and just be done with it?”

Deep inside, you knew what his response was going to be, but every inch of your heart silently pleaded for you to be wrong. To pull you into his arms and apologize for trying to send you away and promise that you’d get through this because you loved each other and that was all that mattered.

“I don’t know why you thought it was anything else,”

For a minute, you wondered if this was all actually happening. Maybe this was all a nightmare fueled by all the training simulations you’d gone over lately, and you’d wake up crying just to find Miguel asleep next to you, his wide back slowly rising and sinking with every calm breath he took. Your crying would wake him up and he’d furrow his eyebrows and ask what had happened.

“I had a nightmare, that’s all,” You’d say, wiping your tears off and trying to downplay it. But he knew better. He always knew better. He would pull you close and bury your head in his chest, placing a kiss on top of your head while warning you that he was the only one allowed to have nightmares because otherwise he’d have to start comforting you too and neither would get a full night of rest. And you would laugh softly as you drifted off, lulled by the warmth of his chest and his smell of sage lotion and cheap fabric softener.

But no. You were very much awake, and instead of comforting you with promises and reassurances, he was walking away from you after delivering the final blow to your heart.

Since he had his back turned to you, you felt free to let the repressed tears freely fall down your face as you helplessly watch him go until he disappeared around a corner. All of a sudden, you felt as if the walls of the headquarters had begun to close around you to asphyxiate you, and the sound of the returning Spider-People made you realize you didn’t want to be there for one more second.

Thanks to your watch, you were back “home” in a few seconds.

“Home”. Your empty apartment where you’d lived alone for years. Where he’d never set foot, and at least in that way it was free of his memory. Or so you thought until you looked over your shoulder at the ajar bathroom door. Inside, atop the porcelain sink, still rested the positive pregnancy test you’d left there before having to rush over to the headquarters to help with the latest anomaly.

That memory felt so distant now. As if it had happened years ago, in a different life. You suppose in a way, it did belong to another life. A life that was over now.

Numbly, you made your way toward the ragged sofa, collapsing on top of it as soon as you were close enough. It was only then that the full weight of the last day and a half sank in and, as you gently wrapped your arms around your stomach, you let the tears fall until your throat burned, the dusty cushions muffling your broken sobs.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard correctly, you did what?”

The seriousness of the situation was enough for Peter to fasten a small strap in Mayday’s baby carrier to make sure she won’t go anywhere for a few minutes as he waited for his friend’s platform to reach ground level. He couldn’t be chasing his toddler around and ripping Miguel a new one at the same time.

“I did what I had to do. It’s for her own good,”

“Right, because you’re such an arrogant…” He paused to carefully place his hands over Mayday’s tiny ears, “…such an arrogant dick that you think you know what’s best for everyone, including a fully grown, intelligent, woman like (Y/N)”

“Shit, Parker, do you think it was easy for me?” Miguel uttered, pinching the bridge of his nose before resting his face against the palm of his hand, “What I said about this being the hand I was dealt…I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with that. Hell, I don’t even know how I’m going to keep myself from showing up at her dimension to try and get her back here the first chance I get.”

“And why would you have to keep yourself from doing that?” Peter asked patiently. It sounded like a better alternative to “Miguel, I love you man but I swear you’ve got the emotional availability of a tree stump. Beats me how (Y/N) was able to get you to admit your feelings without prying your chest open with a jigsaw to see your pounding heart for herself.”

“She was right. We were never supposed to meet in the first place. Not like this. It’s not…”

“Miguel, I swear if I hear the word ‘canon’ even once in this conversation I’m going to drive my head through a wall,”

“Just because you don’t take anything seriously doesn’t mean everybody’s the same,” Miguel hissed back.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Last time I didn’t take something seriously, I ended up just like you will unless you get your priorities sorted out. Alone, and regretting not focusing on what was important,”

“This is important,” Miguel stubbornly argued.

“More important than what you had? Look at yourself. Just forty-eight hours ago you were as happy with (Y/N) as you’d been for the past eight months. And as happy as I’ve been with Mayday and my wife who, by the way, wouldn’t even be with me if it wasn’t for that kid you just called a mistake. And do you see my dimension going up in flames? Or yours? Or hers?”

Unable to find an argument against that, Miguel remained silent, his eyes fixed on an empty spot on the wall in front of him.

“Listen, I know you’re afraid. You don’t want her to get hurt, but if you love her as much as you claim to, then you’re taking the choice of a coward right now. And you can’t afford to be one, especially now.”

“Especially now?” Miguel inquired, turning to look at his friend who, much to his surprise, pressed his lips together as if he’d made a mistake and instead focused on getting Mayday’s hair out of her face.

“My point is; I know you well enough to know you worship that woman. And she thinks you’re pretty decent too. And I can tell you from experience that you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life if you let this come between you.”

Not knowing what else to add, Peter gently patted Miguel’s shoulder before leaving the room, hoping he’d given him enough to think about. Hopefully, enough to make him change his mind.

Meanwhile, Miguel hadn’t moved since Peter left the room, mulling his words over.

Two, particularly, had stuck with him for some reason.

Especially now.

[auspicioustidings]

THE OMEGA DRABBLES THAT YOU KEEP ADDING ON…. So delicious thank you for the scrumptious meal i cant emphasize how much i fucking love it. Almost want to know how they’d react if reader still found some random alpha to fuck anyways 😩😩💕

not saying it as a way to pressure you into writing more ofc i hope it doesn’t come across that way 😭 also love your kinktober series! Please don’t pressure yourself if you ever get writer’s block for it! 🫶🏻

I fucking love omegaverse, like I only read my first omegaverse book when I was bitterly depressed and in bed at the start of this year and oh boy I have not looked back.

She would find another alpha to fuck is the issue. Lots of ways it can go, but I do love the angsty version even if the fluff or smut versions would probably be more fun.

Like she's not an idiot, she has some self awareness about this weird thing between her and pack 141. Ghost is over protective of her on missions even when he pretends he isn't, Soap consistently scares off other alphas who are around her when she's in the mess or rec room, Gaz is always brushing against her, touching her in the small ways he can without giving himself away and Price... she knows she fucked up with that shirt. She realised too late and by the time she went to grab it he had taken his laundry bag. And yet his shirts keep being left for her.

If she spent her heat with them it would all fall apart. She's barely managing to resist the pull to them as is, she's noticing that sometimes they aren't complete fucking assholes, Christ she's actually finding herself smiling over things they do or say sometimes.

Soap confronts her over the heat clinic paperwork. He's mean, they fight. He says some absolutely horrid things to her about how she's slutting it up with civilians, how she's going to embarrass the whole department presenting like a bitch and whining for alphas. He knows he crosses the line, but he's so angry without understanding why. He barks her. He fucking barks her. "Ye'll naw go tae some fucking clinic tae whore yerself out. Withdraw the application."

It's well over a boundary. Once she withdraws it, it's too late to resubmit even after the bark wears off. They had been in base, she hadn't had any sort of ear piece in to help resist a bark because it was unthinkable any of her allies would do that to her.

He doesn't realised what he's done. Like he storms off thinking he's been a right cunt to her but that she'll go to a clinic anyway because his plan to convince her to spent her heat with him went completely to shit before he could even propose it.

And because he tells the others that's what she did, they all think he's right. They're all mad at her when she gets back from heat leave, cold. Gaz will not touch her. Price doesn't leave shirts. Soap leaves her to the mercy of pushy alphas in the mess and rec room so she just withdraws entirely from those spaces. Ghost takes missions, just removes himself from having to see her at all.

Of course none of them know she spent her heat in one of the military's heat rooms because a sanctioned heat clinic will not take someone last minute (and she wouldn't go to a non-sanctioned one, that would be dangerous but worse could get her fired if found out). The military do not like omegas, so it's almost a punishment. Padded cell, clinical nest, cold hose downs every so often to keep her temperature down. Little camera blinking in the corner so someone can come in and sedate her if she starts hurting herself.

She thinks they are all being extra horrid to her because they watched her lose control, so she is just as angry at them if not more. It was a violation what Soap did, but to watch her in that cell lose her fucking mind? They can go fuck themselves, she's a good goddamn soldier and it's not her fault she needed to go through a heat. They'd never have survived it, they'd never have gotten through the pain and delirium of being forced to do it alone. She is stronger than they could ever fucking dream of being, and she is going to prove it.

(if you want to go ultimate angst version then the military heat rooms have officers fuck her through it and oh boy not only are they awful but they will taunt her with the video footage).

[reimeichan]

So you're trying to help someone through system discovery. What to do?

Was talking to my singlet partner, who at this point has, somehow, netted 3 system partners and another highly-dissociative-but-does-not-necessarily-have-a-CDD throughout their life, about what it's like to help us through dissociation and system discovery. I honestly don't remember much of my own behavior and actions throughout my early CDD recovery journey because my dissociation was that bad, and I really appreciate them taking the time to sit down with me and talk about their experiences with me. And I figured I'd share some of their wisdom that they shared with me here, along with wisdom others have shared with me and wisdom I've managed to pick up myself.

Let the person define their experiences however they want. You can offer them example and perspective based on your own knowledge and experiences and offer up wording if they're struggling with explaining something, but avoid trying to deny or "correct" anything, especially early on.

Go slowly, and at their pace. Don't push for them to learn more about their system, don't ask them to go digging for trauma memories (please, god, please don't do this), don't force them to stay grounded for extended periods of time if they can't. Sometimes a gentle nudge here and there can be helpful, especially if you know the person well and know what their limits are or at least know what to look out for, but be careful how far you push and at the end of the day it works better to trust that they know themselves better than you do.

Accept them for who they are, yes each and all of them. Not every member of the system will be all sunshine and rainbows, some parts may even be "cringe" in some way, and especially when dealing with someone with a CDD you're almost definitely going to be dealing with traumatized parts or parts that are otherwise unpalatable in some way. If a part comes forward with an identity or experience you're unfamiliar with, give them the same love and acceptance you would any other part.

Similarly, do not push alters away simply for existing. Many people make the mistake of thinking there's a "true" personality in the system (ie. a core/original, sometimes attributed to the host alter) and thus only want to interface with that specific alter. In truth, every alter in the system is just as real as each other and it's important to treat all of them as valid.

Understand that this is probably just as if not more confusing for the system going through system discovery than it is for you. Realizing you're a system or a part of a system can cause massive identity issues and shifts in the understanding of the self. Be patient with them as they may be experiencing a lot of conflicting emotions during this time.

Check what's helpful for them or what they'd like you to do to help them through system discovery. Do they want you to help point out potential switches? Do they want you to help with grounding? Do they want help remembering things that may have gotten lost in their amnesia? Would they prefer to explore things by themselves (or with just their therapist) with little to no outside help? Every system is different and what may help one system could be detrimental to another.

Above all, take care of yourself and know your limits. Step back if things are overwhelming, set boundaries when you need to. You can be there for your loved one when you're in a better place to help them.

[painted-bees]

Raf's amount of self awareness and the amount of time he spends analyzing himself in his own head seemed a little far fetched until I got to the part about his past relationships and how badly things went despite having started therapy back then. It makes a lot more sense that he didn't get to this level of awareness and grace until way later after years of working on himself. But I really want to know how his relationship with Margie might have gone if he was less aware?

Oh, fun question lmao Assuming he never sees his behavior as something that he needs to work on: I think Margie's impulse to be honest and straightforward, and to wear her emotions on her sleeves would still have likely gotten her past his defenses and into a close relationship. But the closer/more important someone becomes to Raf, the more and more reactive/mercurial/mean he'd get. Those close relationships--the ones he treasures most--are the ones that pose the highest level of danger. They're the ones who'd hurt him the most if they betrayed him. Coupled with Margie's conflict-averse instinct to wilt, roll over, and apologize before considering if she'd even done anything wrong--we'd have likely seen a much more possessive and controlling Raf. We don't see that in his relationship with Lacey, because Lace would often bite back twice as hard, and was able to [very aggressively] assert boundaries with him. Margie, tho--so long as he kept encouraging and enabling her to make music, and providing warm, enthusiastic support on that front, she'd be easily convinced to change any behavior he didn't like--under the pretense that she was working on becoming a better, easier person to live with. I think, tho--if there ever arose a moment where he asserted that she couldn't pursue a music/career-related opportunity (that didn't require his involvement), if he threatened to take back all the 'nice things' he's given her as a tool of punishment/manipulation, or if he started discouraging her from vising friends or family--and if she couldn't reason with him on that front/it consistently resulted in a big argument every time--she'd end the relationship. She was, at least, raised well by her mother to identify that kind of situation as a 'get out now' 0 tolerance red flag of abuse. And--you know...if she had to do that, I think this would be the event that sees her move back home with her parents. Emotionally and psychologically, she'd lose a lot to this relationship. She'd need her family to help center herself again. Otherwise, Raf would likely sabotage the relationship for himself, and break things off with her over some catastrophic misunderstanding or another--where he is just unable and unwilling to hear her out and take her word at face value. But if certain lines are never crossed; if Margie learns to stifle/bury her excited impulses and exist as quietly as she is able to, and if Raf is able to pull himself back from enacting on paranoid compulsions just enough, he and Margie would probably find a tenuous but """comfortable""" stasis. Like with any relationship, they'd have moments both good and bad, catastrophes that maybe only resolve themselves for the convenience of it rather than out of a proper understanding, as well as tender moments of joyful whimsy, when the circumstances were right for it, that'd serve to remind them of why they're together in the first place and help bolster the staying-power of their relationship. But it'd all be balanced...very differently. They'd be a lot less fun, I think. Margie would have never suggested going to Cortes Island. She'd have been reluctant to suggest much at all. Raf would be stuck with the persistent suspicion that she resented him--and yanno--she might. But not for the reasons he'd think.

[lexithwrites]

Headcanons: Regulus is left-handed just because he strikes me as a leftie. Barty is a veritable gifted child and Regulus is the only one who can keep up with him. Barty, Regulus and Evan are frightening levels of co-dependent and without healthy boundaries. Barty and Regulus become lovers at about 15; this never really stopped, even when Barty and Evan got together, though it did lessen over time. Barty and Regulus are not romantic. They're not platonic. They're something else entirely; something undefinable, akin to soulmates. No one tries to understand it, because it hurts their had.

When James and Regulus started dating, James had to get past Barty, who needed to make sure that Regulus would not be hurt and who needed to protect his territory. And Barty made him suffer. James hated this for ages, until James and Barty and Regulus ended up having a threesome and then James was like, 'oh, I get it now, this is okay.' And James and Regulus and Barty and Evan live in a little semi-poly unit where: James and Regulus are together, Barty and Evan are together, and Regulus and Barty are attached at the hip. And they all occasionally sleep with each other. Occasionally.

Literally just how I approach everything I write.

I love this because I’m a multi shipper that can never decide who to pair people up with so just make them all be together in some way or another, perfect! Also yes reg is 100% a leftie

[neptunes-sol-angel]

This!

It's irritating seeing this trend with readers building their platforms by doing love readings, gaining followers for it, profiting off off of it, and then suddenly pulling the rug from their feet to instruct people (not guide!) that they're "lacking" in something but not even giving them closure on what, how, or where to start. Whether you actually care or you just want to find a reason to shit on other readers, people have the absolute wrong idea over and over again about what readings are meant to be.

It is a luxury. Not and should not ever be advertised as a need. If people need help through these services, then they have to want it for themselves instead of you trying to instill in them that they need to be reliant on occultic practices to make good decisions in their lives. That is a dangerous way to make someone codependent on readings because constantly trying to look for things to fix in your life in the name of "self improvement" is equally harmful as what an obsession with future spouse or other love readings will do to you. There is not a single topic that is superior or inferior to another when it comes to divination because they all have the potential to trigger someone into spiritual psychosis and I really need people to understand this.

You want readings to be about counseling others? Go towards other closed divination practices that are solely designed for giving spiritual insight OR just simply keep posting the topics that you want, in your own way and call it a day instead of worrying about what the next person is doing. Why does it always have to be a dick measuring contest in these communities when really we should be supporting each other? Not everyone is equipped to channel self-help readings and it's perfectly fine to just be a reader that caters to love topics or anything else that is unique.

It's like saying "Books are for learning. You should only read educational topics because I think you're not doing enough for your intellectual responsibilities". You'd be mad as hell if someone told you that you needed to put down that science fiction book because they feel like you need to learn more about neuroscience.

I'm a reader, and I personally take the breaks that I do here for my mental health because indulging in spiritual practices with no boundaries will drive you into insanity. Respectfully, if I just finished having a mental breakdown over recollecting the various cases of childhood trauma that I've experienced...I do not want to log on here and read pick a cards about shadow work. I wouldn't even want to touch my cards or speak to my spirit guides for the next couple of days.

Any other time, I LIVE for a good reading no matter the topic. Future spouse readings are not my favorite but I don't hate them. Sometimes I'll be drawn to just one specific topic depending on the day because that's life. One day I want to know more about my love life in the present, the next day maybe my love life in the future, some days I do want to read more into the shadow work that I need to do, next week I could really want to read pick a cards with messy topics or themes that are meant to boost your confidence, and when I'm in that mood, I might just only want to read 18+ themed pick a card readings 💀

The point is that I don't think people understand how precious this platform actually is. A lot of the material here, you can't really get in any of the other divination communities. People are talented here and should stick with what they feel that they should make and it's pointless to try to get them to do it any other way because IT'S SO DIVERSE here, just simply find another reader who makes the messages that you need at the moment. It's not that hard or rare to find that people are making it ought to be.

And just focus on what you can do as a reader. Are you being true to your practices and beliefs? Are you creating a space that's healthy for readers up here? If not, then think and respond accordingly to what you feel like you should do. If you're concerned about the consumption of love readings, don't be quick to point fingers at other people, especially if you know you're part of the problem. People learn on their own timing and through their own choices and you can't control that. What you can control is the content that you choose to distribute to others.

Do topics that match with your truth. Love readings are not your thing or not what you believe in? Don't make them. Are you tired? Don't feel pressured to post. You feel concerned with how your audience is consuming your content? Post less. Etc.

[necroangelz]

RARE EDITBLR SHOCKING HOT TAKES THAT WILL SHOCKINGLY SHOCK YOU!!!!!

following trends and doing what's popular is okay because it allows people to gain interactions and a bigger following by doing what's popular!! and it's also okay because trends are usually what people like, so it makes sense if someone genuinely enjoys following a trend!! people can branch out, do their own thing, and find their own style later!

actively expressing positivity, and helping or encouraging each other is what will help a community. making big rant posts, or rant accounts centered around negativity, without offering even a simple solution to fix the problems you're calling out, is not helping!!

(the other ones are under the cut. also feel free to reblog with editblr hot takes that will shockingly shock you!!)

sometimes things just... aren't a big deal. sometimes it genuinely does not matter

another person's personal business, creative decisions, etc. is not your business!

if you see someone who's not really educated on a certain topic or issue (and i mean, genuinely not educated. i don't mean people who are ignorant), the best move to take is to: patiently and kindly educate them! the worst move to take is to: yell at them and cancel them for not being as informed as you are.

people need to be careful with the words they throw around. it's not good to overuse words that have a very big weight on them, because those are important and sensitive words that shouldnt lose their meaning because people kept using them lightly. (what i mean is: people who throw around the words racist, ableist, etc. all the time even when what they're complaining about is not really either of those things.)

on the topic of words: it's important to be careful of the words you use online, and it's also important to be patient with people who worded their statements badly on accident.

don't treat every person like they're your friend. be aware of their boundaries and don't be overly comfortable with them if you don't actually know them. you are not automatically entitled to someone (or their personal business, or anything else) just because you're mutuals.

don't treat every person like they're your enemy. maybe you don't really need to be doubtful and passive aggressive towards a random person you see online.

gatekeeping kinda sucks tbh

god sometimes i find editblr so stupid like how do you create so much drama from a community that edits anime characters. how just HOW. and why.

please don't forget the other people behind the screen. the network of other people behind their screens. please.

sometimes people take the littlest problems and turn them into something HUGE even if it could all just be solved by a couple of civil conversations in dms. sometimes people take the littlest things and slap the "PROBLEMATIC!!!!!!!" label on it without even trying to understand what it is they're labeling as "PROBLEMATIC!!!"

people get followers then their ego becomes so high and they treat other people like dirt and think that their word is fucking scripture or something

oh yeah another hot take: i don't really like low contrast cluttered maximalist edits but if it's actually someone's style then I'll let it pass especially if it's good /silly

[brucewaynehater101]

As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.

Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)

I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.

As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.

I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.

The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).

Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.

I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.

I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).

I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.

Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!