#like they’re all literally born to do this

[inthehouseoffinwe]

Maybe the reason Legolas always looks so perfect is elves don’t need to sweat to regulate body temperate. Maybe they just don’t sweat. Or it needs to be some seriously extreme physical strain.

Like I don’t see immortality working if elves are going to overheat as easily as humans do.

Then again maybe it’s an evolutionary trait of later elves born under the sun, and the later they’re born, the better the evolution (eg. Legolas’ is way better than Elrond’s because he was born 3rd Age.)

Which would be really funny to hold over the heads of these older ‘hardier’ elves. Like yes they’re harder to kill, but they also sweat worse than humans do. It’s only said hardiness which stops them very literally boiling to death, but it’s still an all round uncomfortable experience.

Because I don’t think the trees gave out heat? Unless it was a byproduct of the light, but I don’t think so.

…unless it’s a Laurelin specific thing because the sun and moon still come into existence and seem to work the same as ours.

Either way I imagine Valinor had some kind of thermostat keeping everything within a certain range. Then we get to Beleriand and sun and moon and everyone’s in for a surprise.

Fingolfin’s host included. They’ve seen the ice, sure. But they have no idea what deserts, or even hot summer days are like.

Even in Valinor it takes time to devise a new thermostat that accommodates for the new temp changes between day and night and all the stuff that comes with it.

[pedrosgrogu]

Born Too Late - Chapter 4

pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak

Warnings: MDNI, SMUT. FILTHY SMUT. dirty talk, unprotected p in v (be smart yall, wrap it up) age gap, no use of y/n, i think thats all idk let me know if i missed anything xoxo. 

Summary: All you wanted to do was thank Joel, and apologize for the bar mishap. How the hell did we get here? (1.3k+)

a/n: i am SO sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. its my first time writing smut and i was so nervous :P. also been super busy with midterms and work and whatnot. If you have any suggestions, as always let me know. i love to see/hear feedback :) <3

You’re trying to take in Joels room but you can't focus. You can't focus because he's tearing your clothes off your body. His lips are tracing your neck and his teeth nipping your ears. “Come on babygirl, we ain't got all day.” He says in between bites. All you can let out is a moan. He slings you onto the bed and your body goes numb. Your clothes have been strewn throughout the room and you can feel him. “Joel please. I need you” you moan. “You’re gonna get me. All of me.” He throws his face in between your legs and laps up the juice in between your folds. You grab his hair like you're holding on for dear life and let out a moan so loud that the neighbors probably heard. He doesn't stop. You’re seeing white. “Joel I’m so close, please dont st-” and before you can finish, he’s ramming is cock into you. You scream with pleasure. “You’re so fuckin tight baby. Takin’ my cock so fuckin’ well.” His left hand is holding himself up and his right is rubbing your clit. You literally can’t breathe. He’s ramming into you, over and over. And suddenly it stops. He’s gone. You see stars, and scream in agony. Feeling so fucking empty that it hurts. His tongue begins tracing a line from your stomach to your nipples. The sensation brings you back to reality and you look him straight in the eyes. They’re dark and full of lust, and hunger. He crashes his lips into yours, and his tongue swirls around your mouth. You moan with pleasure, happy to let him have all of you. “Baby I'm gonna come. But not before you.” He spits out, effortlessly. He throws his cock back into you, letting out a groan. He picks up speed, slamming in and out of you over and over, rubbing your clit. You’re seeing white all over again. “Joel, please don't stop.” You manage to say. Your breathing intensifies and you reach your climax. You’re screaming, borderline crying because the sensation is almost too much. “Where do you want me babygirl?” Joel says, still ramming his cock in and out of you. “In me. I'm on the pill.. FUCK!” You scream, barely able to get the words out. Your body is drowning in pleasure and overload. “Fuck baby” Joel moans. “You take me so good. Such a good girl.” You can feel his cock throb inside you as he slows down, releasing his seed. He slowly pulls out and you whimper. You feel empty. “Don’t move. I'll be right back” You can barely open your eyes. You hear the sink turn on, and then off. Joel comes back with a warm washcloth and begins to clean you up. “So beautiful,” He says, cleaning you off. He throws the washcloth back into the bathroom and leaves a trail of kisses up to your forehead. He falls beside you on the bed, & you’ve finally come down from the euphoric high. You look him in the eyes to make sure you arent fucking dreaming. His eyes look different, they’re soft and warm. He kisses you, this time its gentle and smooth. You can feel his body loosen with every second the kiss lingers on. He pulls you in close and begins to drift into a light but still there slumber. 

And then it hits you. You fucked someone you barely know. And not only did you fuck someone you barely know, you fucked someone you barely know that happens to be your mean grouchy neighbor, that is also the dad to one of your students. You jump out of bed, startling Joel awake. “Where are you going baby? I was-” but you cut him off, throwing your sweatshirt and shorts back on. Not even worried about your shoes or bra. “I’ve gotta go” You basically run out the door, and straight into your house, slamming your door behind you. You fall to the floor with your face in your hands. “What have I done?” you mutter. Not expecting a response, you jump when you hear Penny say “Girl what the fuck are you talking about? And why do you look like you’ve been hit by a bus?” Looking up you see Penny rubbing her eyes. “I fucked Joel” you mumble. “Huh?” Penny says, sliding down the wall beside you. “I said, I fucked Joel.” Its silent for a second, you’re scared to look up. “You WHAT?! Holy shit bitch!!! Tell me everything!! I've gotta pack but I can multitask.” 

“I mean it wasn't bad” you say, trying to spare Penny the details. “Yeah yeah but how did that even happen?!” Penny exclaims, zipping her hygiene bag. You let out a sigh. “I went over to take him some Im sorry / Thank you muffins and it just kinda did.” “Yellow, I love you but sex with the grumpy hot neighbor doesn't just happen” Yellow. You remember him calling you that, how the fuck does he know about that? “Penny it literally just happened. He brought up the window thing and it kinda just escalated.” She looks at you, one eyebrow cocked. “Okay so honestly, was it bad? Like I can't think of why else we’re beating around the bush here.” “That's the problem, it wasn’t bad. It was mind blowing.” You pause “It was so good that I'd do it again.” “Why don't you?! I mean, that's as convenient as it gets.” Penny says, giggling. “His daughter is in my class. That's a huge boundary I don't want to cross, especially in my first year of teaching.” You say, sounding a little defeated. Because let's face it, the sex was great, and he's hot. And my god, the after care. Something you’d never had with Connor. You sigh. “Chin up girl, it’ll work itself out.” “Pen, you ready?” You yell out. “Coming!” She says. It's 3:30 and Penny's flight leaves at 5. She offered to get a cab but you told her no worries. “Where the fuck are my shoes?” you mumble to yourself. Then it hits you. Joel. Joel's room. Goddamnit. Penny comes down the hall, suitcase in one hand and her duffle in another. “Hold on Pen, I've gotta go grab my sandals. I left my shoes at Joels. You begin walking down the hall and you hear “Your vans? The ones on the porch?” You stop dead in your tracks. You step onto the porch and there they lay, with one of your muffins and a note that reads “Figured you’d need these this week. I had a great time this morning. I’d love to do it again, or get coffee. Whichever you prefer. Here's my number. -Joel.” “Fuckkkkk” You groan. Throwing the note in the house and the muffin in your mouth, you lock the door behind you and hop in the car. “Who was the note from?” “Joel” you mumble. “I don’t want to talk about it” You say, backing out of your driveway and peeling down the street. Too scared to look in the direction of his house.

Chapter 3 - Masterlist

[junhongsprincess]

Listening to all the songs on the album, and reading the lyrics…if they had released these exact songs as BAP like at the time they were planning to leave ts, I actually think I would have been bawling my eyes out every second of every day until they came back. My god there’s so much emotion in the words and it feels so personal. It makes sense that Yongguk mentioned he wanted to do this when they were still BAP. But also, I’m actually more glad that it ended up how it did, because instead of probably crying every day listening to these songs, we were all celebrating them being able to get out of that hell hole!

[quietwingsinthesky]

we’ve all said it before but ill say it again, sam should have gotten lucifer pregnant and that should have been the jack origin. if she was jessifer at the time, even better <3

[palukoo]

I know I’ve made other posts talking about or alluding to this but like. obviously there are like the old hollywood movies in the sort of dyke subtext canon (all about eve, rebecca, johnny guitar, etc) but like. there are so many movies that like 10 people have seen but I have such a clear gay vision or interpretation for it. most of them aren’t even GOOD. and yet!!

like the great lie is the one that haunts me the most (or the women but I think that one is kind of different for me perhaps bc I’ve already talked about it here a lot or perhaps bc I think of it as being more well known and watched than I think it actually is? actually it’s probably that I think it is an overall good and well executed and entertaining movie which isn’t really true of most of these tbh). but I also think a lot about like when ladies meet, or old acquaintance, or sadie mckee, or the shining hour, or the model and the marriage broker, or a woman’s secret, or the bigamist, or craig’s wife, or born to be bad, or separate tables, or even dark victory to a degree. others too certainly those are just the ones that come to mind. for half of these it’s not even like oh these women are gay together it’s just like hey I think she’s a lesbian. and I’m right. but my genius will never be fully appreciated in my day unfortunately.

[lucysweatslove]

I don’t know what I expected today, but I most definitely did not expect to be told, in Russian, that I deserve to die by strangulation bc I’m not “fulfilling my destiny” by choosing not to have kids.

[genderdog]

every time i listen to ugly death no redemption i go fucking insane about ice the last generation again

[hazlelnoot]

…

[fairyofshampgyu]

finsihed watching lolla and I just don’t even have any words. They did so fucking amazing every single stage they’re literally such amazing performers it’s insane. I’m so fucking proud of them 😭. They’ve worked so hard😭 their growth is insane they just get bigger and bigger. I’m so glad I’m a moa. IM IN THIS TXT SHIT FOR LIFE

[designernishiki]

follow-up to my last post: I like the detail that kiryu gets ayaka’s email and they keep in touch, partly because I like to imagine that he has so many fucking questions for her about queer shit. both because he’s figuring himself out orientation-wise and also just cause he’s a 40ish year old man who takes care of gen z kids who isn’t super in touch with all this stuff but he really wants to know so he can be more educated and a better supporter and all that

[lieutenant-amuel]

You know there is one chapter in WBTL that I’m really excited to write and I have so many dialogue ideas/random phrases I find so good, I just decided to write them down because I’m worried I’ll forget them by the moment I’ll get to actually write the chapter. And you know what? This chapter is already 600+ words long.

[peapod20001]

My witch species ocs are literally huge fucking birds with fucking teeth and it is the most amazing thing ever

[jackett-slut]

ok sorry if this sounds fucking insane. i need to write something out.

[starlooove]

Also what’s the difference between them and superbat in which ur not demonizing the brown boy quickly

[imurgayhomie]

what the sigma?! (Vent post sigh!)

[6ebe]

Wales (rugby) just dropped the worst team sheet I’ve ever seen from them in my life meanwhile the most exciting young welsh player got poached by England and is now one of our best young prospects