#it’s so weird too cause they’re usually nice but weird dreams but this one was so bad i blocked it out for most of the day

[cruesuffix]

just remembered i had the craziest dream about that old man…like INCREDIBLY weird and sad. it’s telling me i gotta stop thinking about that sad arc peepaw went down in the early 00’s or else i’ll be haunted by dreams of things that definitely didn’t happen. like, does that era interest me for some stupid reason and i kinda wish i knew more about that time? absolutely im not going to lie and say i don’t…but that dream is probably telling me its for the best that i don’t know. and that’s probably why we’re never getting that book, cause there’s no way he wants to relive all that either way.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 part 9 thoughts!!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 9 OF THE MAIN STORY!!*** Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that roughly unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

Kind of a short update this time! It spans parts 140 to 157.

As a reminder, only Vil is following Yuu and co. into the next dream. This is because traveling around with too many people may cause a bug in Idia’s dream hacking and/or it may make it easier for Malleus to notice them.

They land in Kalim’s dream!! There is a segment where Vil freaks out about falling and we get to see his cute squeaky-voiced vulnerable side again. (Yes, the others tease him about it 😂)

They use DREAM FORM CHANGE to swap between dorm uniform (for combat) and school uniform (for general interactions within the dream).

And this new location is…

HUH WHATm/s tHIS?????

It seems like the Scalding Sands, but we’ve never seen this before.

OOP THEre’S THE BOY

Those colors look really good on him!! But the hat looks like it’s floating or sitting on just the scalp… It feels like maybe it should be further down on his head. (Sorry about the weird screenshot chsvskwguejsk)

Kalim doesn’t seem to recognize our squad, nor NRC. He says that he goes to Qasr Sultanate Academy (guess that’s where the name of his new uniform comes from). It is founded on the generous spirit of the Oasis’s Master (the Sultan). The school was established 2 years ago by his rich ass father, since this area did not have a magic school prior to that. THIS IS NEPOTISM AT ITS FINEST, FOLKS

***Note: "qasr" -> castle or palace, "sultanate" -> a place governed by a sultan!***

Idia reasons that Kalim might be this way to avoid the tragedies that play out at NRC. The dream is sheltering him…

Everyone is dying of heat, so Kalim uses his UM to give them cool drinking water. He also has some servants (no Jamil) bring the roof over to them to help them cool off???

BUT THEN jAMIL PULLS UP AnD

iT’S SO WEIRD, WhY’ShE SO PERKY AnD KIRAKIRA…………………… ……. …… …. … . ……. .. . … …. . . . HE;S SMILING TOO MUCH, IT;S SUS...... THIS iS wROng (Side note, those colors are also nice on him!)

Dream!Jamil explains that he was hired by Kalim’s father but that their families never cared about their different statuses. In this dream, they basically grew up as real childhood friends and always talk honestly with each other.

The group reminds Kalim that Jamil isn’t REALLY like this. Vil especially lays into him, roasting Jamil’s character and going into how untrustworthy he is, etc.

Jamil tries to keep Kalim in the dream by using Snake Whisper. Eventually Kalim has his breakthrough, which is where the Groovy for his new card comes from. He realizes that he believed in a false yet convenient Jamil, he cannot face him anymore.

WAHHHHH look at him 😭 He’s leaking like a faucet… but he’s also trying so hard to wipe away his tears, to be strong and stand on his own to fight against the fake Jamil! Let’s give him a round of applause, folks 👏

(This also means that there is potentially a pattern being established with these new limited main story cards; the Groovies will probably be the character crying as they have their realization that this world is a fake one. Does that mean… Crying J word next time??????? Maybe??? Or nah??? 😭 GOD PLEASE NO MY HEART WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT—)

Vil tells Kalim that he also did something embarrassing in his own dream so it’s fine. Kalim callously laughs when he hears about Vil bossing Neige around, then quickly apologies because he realizes he was supposed to deny how bad it is.

Kalim joins the party!! He says it feels weird because usually Jamil is the one to wake HIM up.

They hop into Jamil’s dream!! They appear to have landed in a Silk City bazaar. Ortho takes headcount of them like they’re students on a casual field trip, lol

Kalim enjoyed the jump but Vil seems to be having a hard time keeping up. Ortho and Silver will stay with Vil while the rest of them look for Jamil.

Yuu and co. fuck around in the market a little, getting coconut juice (well, Kalim buys 10 at once) and whatever. Guys… now is seriously NOT the time.

While giving them juice, the vendor suddenly becomes hostile towards Kalim and demands payment instead of letting him put it on his family’s tab.

OMG?????? Apparently in Jamil’s dream, the Al-Asims are broke and scam free stuff from the vendors 😭 WHILE JAMIL IS RICH AF

The vendor is calling the POLICE

Silver comes running to save the day!! He says he will pay for his friends and we avoid being hauled off to jail ✨

We continue our search for Jamil, deciding to trek to Kalim’s home in Silk City since that’s where the Vipers live irl. INSTEAD THEY FIND THIS DESOLATE PLACE (reusing the dried up oasis background)

A bystander explains that the Asim familt’s business failed so they had to give up their house. It got moved and repainted black and red… AND NOW JAMIL’S THE MASTER 💀

A guard comes to chase them off and recognizes Kalim as a servant. Turns out, the Vipers bought the old Asim home and employed them as servants to help them out.

… I saw this coming from a mile away, but the cringe of seeing it for myself is too much to bear…

LMAO????? Now we get a rhythmic/twistune of Yuu and co. marching in a parade with Jamil at the head of it.

WhAT YHE FUCK iS ThiS InTERIOR DESIGN, THAT’S LITERLLY A STatUE OF jAfAR DoING THE GOLFING SWING

Jamil is not enrolled in NRC; he is also enrolled in a new magic school called Jahir Sahar College (?).

***Note: "jahir" -> jewels, "sahar"/"sehri" -> wizard or magic!***

Jamil scolds Kaim for wearing a uniform of the wrong color and “corrects” it for him. Kalim casually says thank you but Jamil tells him it is, “JAMIL-SAMA, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!” He reminds Kalim that the Asims owe the Vipers a debt so large that they cannot hope to repay it in their lifetime, so be sure to be useful to him.

… Bro is power tripping so hard 😭

Jamil becomes suspicious of us but Vil plays it off like we’re students come to research the Scalding Sands for a Film Club activity. He allows us to stay but backhanded comments that we look dumb so we won’t pose a threat.

Jamil then offers to give us a tour SiNCE HE’S THE STUDENT COUNCiL PRESIDENT (Rollo called he wants his title back). I’m guessing this is the case instead of him being dorm leader so Jamil is the ONLY top dog around.

Oh yeah!! Minor thing, magic carpet comes in at some point. Its its colors are closer to that of the magic carpet in the Aladdin film.

He orders Kalim to prepare a feast; Kalim provides water with Oasis Maker and grabs food from the kitchen—all of Jamil’s favorites! But no matter how eager to please he is, Jamil tells him off and makes remarks about how useless Kalim is 😔

xbshgejwgsowkw Yuu and co. are like “WOW, Jamil’s imagination is so strong so it’s going to be hard to wake him up!!” It’s okay, you can say he’s delusional/j

Jamil wavers a little because Kalim begins talking about their childhood memories. It’s stirring up his own recollections, and I think the dream’s interpretation of these evens is clashing with the reality that Kalim shares.

Blah blah blah

Dream!Kalim arrives to kiss Jamil’s ass :v aaand Jamil descends into the darkness…

What we see is a potential future in which Jamil succeeded in book 4; Azul and the Scarabia mobs are under his hypnotic influence… Kalim is gone… and Jamil plans to use the dirt Azul has collected to blackmail the other dorm leaders and take them down. (This lends credence to the idea of him being student council president in his dream because he wants to be the ONLY one in charge.)

LMAO????? Jamil shit talks the dorm leaders 💀 Like saying that no one likes Riddle anyway, how Leona is probably another lazy nepo baby, etc.

AnD THEN AfTER THE DoRM LEADERS HE’s PlANNING ON GOInG AfTER CROWlEY’S iRRESPONSibLE aSS 😭 Jamil has his sights set on ruling over the entire school…

AyO??????????

I THINK KALIM PUNCHED JAMIL AnD THEYmRE fISTFIGHTING?????? PLEASE, THIS IS PATHETIC

They shout about the things they hate the most about each other. Jamil hates Kalim’s optimism, Kalim finally FINALLY declares that he hates how two-faced Jamil is. It’s so intense even the hypnotized students are stunned????

Sebek wants to pummel Jamil too but Silver holds him back. His reasoning??? Sometimes people get emotionally charged and it’s better for them to let those out through their fists instead of their words.

I cannot believe that Silver Vanrouge in our lord 2024 really went, “No, no. Let them cook :)” 🤡

Kalim starts laughing because this is a unique experience to him?? Apparently he and Jamil never fought for real in the 17 years they knew each other. Jamil agrees and says if he neat Kalim up “irl” it would cause problems for everyone… and he realizes his wording and begins questioning the dream world because of that.

He finally wakes up! xbsnbsjwkwkwvdk Kalim is so excited his live 2D model is bouncing on the screen!

The goop returns and drags Jamil to a familiar scene where he OBs and then squares off against his Phantom, similar to what happened with Idia and Vil. Jamil calls his OB self pathetic and always looking for someone to blame. He now sees that view as narrow-minded and limiting.

His Phantom tries to goad him by likening their situation to being genies trapped in a dark and small space, existing to be used their entire lives and not being allowed the freedom they wish for. Admittedly, Jamil has pretty cool lines, saying he doesn’t like the Phantom forcing its own wishes on him. He’s reclaiming his freedom by renouncing the idea of pitying himself. He doesn’t plan to spend his whole life inside that lamp and his wallowing, he is going to make his own wishes come true—not 3 or 10 or 100, but every single one.

(Cue insane Jamil laughter here)

He of course gains the upper hand and rises victorious. Jamil tells Dream!Kalim that he is so polite and subservient it’s disgusting, then he uses Snake Whisper to send him away.

Jamil says there’s no point in changing roles or positions because ultimately the power to decide what happens is his and his alone. He also says he is not interested in power or freedom granted to him by someone else… He will take what he wants on his own! (Not sure why he’s announcing this when no one asked, but pop off I guess 😂 Vil gave a similar speech when he was facing his own demons, but shorter and I don’t think Idia just mumbled to himself before getting back in contact with Ortho.)

Meeting back up with Yuu and co., Jamil is added to the party! (Kalim tries to glomp him in a hug but Jamil expertly dodges ‘xbssvzjav$c(/?/)

Okay, so Vil is staying behind because he doesn’t feel well and doesn’t want to hold the group back. Kalim also stays behind because he’s still covered in bruises and such from fist fighting Jamil. This will probably be another pattern that occurs moving forward; only the OB boy moves on with the group.

Next time… Octavinelle’s dreams and maybe J word crying card 👀!

I think by this time, we already know what to expect in terms of general events. Going into a dream, experiencing it for a short time, learning shocking news about the circumstances, character uses UM, character learns the truth, character cries and fights the dream (who is trying to keep them there), character joins party. If it’s an OB boy, then they will get more screen time and a dedicated segment to fighting their Phantom and then giving a speech about their character development before joining us. Then only the OB boy will dream hop with the Yuu, Grim, Silver, Sebek, Idia, and Ortho while the boys stay behind with the projected selves Ortho creates. Rinse and repeat the formula, and you can probably easily predict what’s coming in future updates.

In terms of this update, I gotta say that I’m impressed Kalim finally followed through on the promise of decking Jamil… a promise he made all the way back in book 4!! While he doesn’t do it with any malicious intent, I think it’s a large stride going forward in having Kalim assert himself and acknowledge the faults that Jamil very obviously has.

As for Jamil... I think it’s becoming pretty obvious what they’re going for in those OB boy scenes; clearly, they mean to have it be like he is speaking to his “other half” in the mirror, a reflection of himself. In this way, each boy confronts the worst aspects of them and comes to terms with it. It’s meant to represent their character growth from when they first appeared in the main story. I’m just… not sure if I like how it’s been handled overall; I do like everyone’s speeches so far (they are good; Jamil’s especially slays with all the thematically appropriate allusions to genies and wish-granting), but I’m less enthusiastic about the context under which these speeches are given. I will most likely make a separate post going into detail about this, but I figured I’d at least lay my general thoughts out here first.

ahbfbyoqwv8yfqwv8q The highlight of this update this time was just seeing how unhinged Jamil's desires are when given no limitations. It's such a shockingly large role reversal to stick himself in the head honcho seat with zero opposition AND force Kalim into being humbled. When the tables turn on him, Jamil is so quick to being a ruthless and cold master 💦 HE'S FR THE TYPE OF GUY THAT ISNT JUST SATISFIED SUCCEEDING, HE ALSO NEEDS YOU TO FAIL The more of these dreams we see, the more we get the sense that Malleus's idea of happiness is VERY shallow. This was something already verbalized by Idia last update, but I feel it needs repeating because of how difficult to resolve Kalim and Jamil's relationship is. The way his solutions are so... absolute (Kalim and Jamil being besties and/or a complete role reversal) reminds me of the points I often hear from fans who say, "Kalim could free Jamil! Kalim should talk to his dad!" There's good intentions behind it, but it ultimately misses the forest for the trees (that being the complicated social nuances surrounding their families). It's an out-of-body experience seeing that viewpoint displayed via Malleus's magic, but it also feels cathartic to see it being dispelled as being nothing close to reality.

Those are all my thoughts for now!! Really looking forward to the next installment :)) and its potential for... crying J word... Though who knows, maybe it’s just for light trio only and I’m delulu—

[kolyubov]

Rises the moon.

✧ pairing. Doa3 x gn!reader

✧ word count. 2k.

✧ contents. fluff, ooc doa3, relationships are not specified (this is not necessarily romantic, take it as you please <3), mostly self-indulgent. if I missed anything, please tell me.

✧ author's note. it's been so long since i posted anything,,, i hope this is good enoughwaaaaeuxjwunxsk

It was past midnight and the apartment was enveloped in silence. You couldn't hear anyone talking in the living room, meaning everyone was asleep.

To be able to enjoy a quiet rest in this place was rare. Midnights are the most bustling hours, when everyone gathers to discuss “important” business until early in the morning, before leaving for whatever they have to do.

Considering this, you could have had a nice sleep for once… if it wasn’t for the rain storming outside.

A sudden thunder crash caused you to abruptly wake up in the middle of your dream— Your heart thumping quickly against your chest and your breath coming out in heavy gasps. You felt disoriented for a few seconds until you eventually calmed down.

Usually, storms don’t scare you, in fact, they’re quite enjoyable along with a lecture or a movie, but not now when you're alone in your room and in the middle of the night, surrounded by the darkness and with your vision barely helping you to perceive your surroundings.

Among the dark, shadows shape into tall monsters lurking from the corner of your room, seemingly waiting for the right moment to lay their ghostly hands on you before disappearing after each lightning. The brief second of luminance makes you realize that those shadows are just that, no one was going to actually hurt you.

Yet, going back into the land of dreams was difficult under these circumstances.

You tried by closing your eyes, ignoring the “monsters” and the loud rumbling of the thunderstorm, and taking deep breaths to calm your unsteady heart but you just couldn't fall asleep. The unsafe sensation wouldn't go away, perhaps until the sun rises again.

However, you had some kind of idea that could help you sleep.

You sat on your bed for a while, contemplating the storm through the window that doesn't seem to end anytime soon and trying to gain the courage to leave your room.

Maybe this idea wasn't the best one you could have, but it was the first thing that came to your sleepy brain, and it's not like you were in the mood to think of any consequences due to what you were going to do.

With a light groan, you leave the comfort of your bed and grab your fluffy pillow in between your arms. The wooden floor cracks under your feet as you make your way to the door of your room then carefully opening it, peeking through the small gap, making sure no dangers are around before stepping outside.

Luckily, the hallway was slightly illuminated with one lamp that hung from the ceiling— The old wooden floor cracks under your deliberated steps as you make your way to his room. Once you stand in front of it, and just as you place a hand on the knob, another sudden thunder makes you jerk in surprise.

Was that a sign from God to not do this?

Without properly rethinking —also too tired to think of any potential risks— you twist the knob, and immediately your eyes land on his sleeping peaceful form; almost completely wrapped with a blanket but letting you see his face. His lips barely parted and his eyelashes rested over his cheeks.

It's not every day when you see Fyodor sleeping on a comfy mattress…

Until now, you had always seen him working day and night underground, sitting in front of his bright purple monitor screen and typing away weird codes or messages that seemed impossible for you to deceive. And if he was not working underground, instead, he was taking a stroll through the city or drinking tea in some restaurant that picked his curiosity.

But sleeping didn't seem to be like a normal activity for him to do.

“To what do I owe this pleasure, hm?”

Fyodor's groggy voice makes you snap out of your thoughts. Now he’s looking at you with a gentle smile as you stand on his doorframe, gripping your pillow awkwardly as you wait for some type of permission— And almost as if he’s reading your mind, he motions for you to come closer with his hand.

The mattress sinks under your weight as you get into the bed and place your pillow just beside his. Wasting no time, Fyodor wraps his blanket around your frame. And it takes some time for you to realize that he's gladly sharing his personal space, which adds to another unusual thing he's doing tonight.

“I couldn't sleep.” You mutter, as he pulls you closer.

“Why's that, dearest?”

“The storm…”

A small chuckle escaped his lips, finding adorable the fact that you needed company just because of a mere storm. Though, he knew the answer even before you said it.

One of his hands —usually cold— is now warming up your cheek, cupping it and rubbing small circles with his thumb as if to soothe you, to tell that he’s there for you without any words needed, simply light touches and whispers shared in between the two.

And for a small second you return the gesture, gently tracing the dark circles underneath his eyes as you scan his features; his thin eyebrows, his purple eyes, and his nose before finally stopping at his lips— His lower lip a little bitten and red.

Unconsciously, your own lips twitch upwards as your mind clouds with the idea of kissing every inch of his pale skin, having him softly laughing underneath you.

To hide your smile, you rest your head against his chest, pressing your ear to where his heart is. The soft thud makes a gentle symphony, a calming sound, that allows any tension left in your body to slip away. Fyodor’s presence fills your senses, making you forget about the rain violently storming outside. Something pulls you closer as your arms wrap around him.

Fyodor doesn’t complain of the proximity, instead, his slender fingers play with your hair, twirling it around his digits or untying knots that were made while you were sleeping before the thunder strike woke you up.

It’s not a surprise that your eyelids eventually start feeling heavy, with all the sweet caresses and the warmth provided, your body is ready to resume your sleep, enveloped in the most comfortable shelter you could ever ask for—

“Oh…”

One of Fyodor's hands cups the back of your head tenderly, pulling you flush against him as if to avoid someone from snatching his most precious thing.

“…What’s wrong, Fedya?” You want to pull away, but a high-pitched giggle comes from behind you, accompanied by the sound of rustling the sheets.

Seems like we have company.

“What are you two doing sleeping without me? That's mean… Leaving a friend out is not nice, dovey.” Nikolai grumbles as he climbs to the bed, lying on his side and hugging you from behind, “Why not come to me when the storm startles your peaceful sleep, hm?

The jester seems not afraid in the slightest to have physical contact with Fyodor, or anyone really…

You can feel his hand removing Fyodor's from your head before he nuzzles against the crook of your neck; the tip of his nose brushes up and down your skin purposely to tickle you. Oh, how much Nikolai loved hearing your giggles as you squirmed around his bear hug, it made his heart almost beat out of his chest.

“I do not recall asking you to show up in my room, Nikolai.” By the tone of his voice, Fyodor doesn't seem pleased with the additional company taking space on his bed and ruining your peaceful encounter.

Nikolai’s hands trail up your ribs, and without any warning, he begins tickling you— not stopping even as you try to pry them away among laughs.

“Dove, you’re not gonna make me leave, are you?” He whispers against your ear, voice whiny and you are almost completely sure that he's pouting right now, hoping you at least feel pity for leaving him out, “Tell Dos that you want me to stay…”

But just by eyeing Fyodor, the answer is more than clear on his face. Refuting his words to let Nikolai sleep with the two of you is most likely ending with you and the jester being kicked out.

“C'mon, C'mon! You're scared of the storm, aren't you, birdie?” Nikolai pecks your cheek and pets your hair dramatically. “Poor baby! Shouldn't we help this frail dove together, Dos?”

“There's no need for that.” Fyodor's patience is going thin.

Nikolai clicks his tongue in annoyance, sitting up on the bed with his arms crossed like a child and glaring at Fyodor for a while, trying to convince him just by holding eye contact until he gives up, knowing there’s no room for negotiating.

“Fine, I'll leave… Gosh, you're such a killjoy.”

As he slips out the bed, muttering curses under his breath, Fyodor sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. It's not the first —and definitely not the last— time he has to put up with Nikolai’s behavior.

God blessed him this time, it seems. He didn't need to make too much of a fuss to make Nikolai leave.

When the door opens and the jester intruder is ready to leave in order to resume the calming moment that Fyodor was truly appreciating, instead of leaving, Nikolai throws his arms up in the air excitedly.

“Dear Sigma! What a great surprise!”

The casino manager stands in the doorframe, rubbing one of his eyes. It appears like his sleep was interrupted as well.

“Uhm… Could you guys keep it down, please? I woke up because you're so noisy and I'm trying to—”

Sigma didn't have time to finish speaking before he was dragged by Nikolai, tugging on his sleeve and pulling him to the bed. Fyodor’s bed. Then pushing him down to the mattress as if he was nothing but another plushie added to the collection.

“Gogol! I didn’t come here to have a sleepover!” Sigma complains, rolling his eyes before meeting your gaze, and giving you an awkward smile.

Then meeting Fyodor's.

Something didn’t seem to add up.

“Am I… missing something?”

“This little dove needs our help, my dear friend! You see, the storm ruffled their lovely feathers so they needed to shelter in our embrace.”

Sigma raises an eyebrow at the jester’s words, and even if he's stuck in this —unwanted— situation it's not difficult to understand the message. He sighs, lying back on the bed and holding your hand, “It’s going to be okay, angel.”

He gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before bringing it to his lips and placing a soft peck on the back of it. He cares about you more than he hates having to deal with Nikolai.

The four of you managed to fit in Fyodor's bed with little space in between. Nikolai's head is now resting on your chest, him in between your legs, his arms around your waist. On the other hand, Fyodor and Sigma were lying on each side of you, either playing with your hair or stroking your hand. Any soft touch brings you closer to dozing off.

Fyodor mutters a small apology because of his "friends" behavior. His fingers graze your palm before he locks his fingers with yours as well. Silence slowly begins flooding the room; you feel perfectly safe with them around, so you close your eyes, letting your body relax.

“Oh! I have the greatest idea, how about we have a sleepover and do our nails and—”

“Nikolai.” The three of you called his name almost as if grounding a child; making the jester frown and pout.

You couldn't suppress your giggles, thinking that this might be the first —and the last— time you'll have the three men from the same dangerous organization sleeping together in the same bed only because they care about you, in their own way.

The storm slowly fades away, forgotten in the warmth of their embrace.

When waking up the next morning, you'll have to face the pain in your limbs from being entangled around them… And wondering how you and Fyodor ended up in between Sigma and Nikolai's hug.

© 2024 pinklacydovey — Do not copy, repost, or recommend my works on other platforms. reblogs are welcomed and appreciated!

[losersimonriley]

every way that matters

(Ghost/Soap, marriage proposals, first kiss, in that order actually)

“MacRiley.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Ravish!”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ.”

The longer he thinks on it (the longer Johnny goes on listing horrid mash-ups of their surnames,) the more convinced he becomes that they should just keep their own as is. It would make the streamlining process a hell of a lot easier (as easy as it can be for a dead man with a high-clearance-only military file to get legally married. Ghost’s paperwork will be a nightmare no matter if his name is changed or not.) Plus it would mean no unnecessary confusement in the field.

Johnny is quick to veto that idea.

“Where’s the romance in that, ye numpty? C’mon. What sounds better, John Riley or Simon MacTavish?”

Ghost actually full body snorts at that one. “They both sound dead weird.”

“Och, ye wound me. There’s no other choice then. Plain ol’ Riley-MacTavish it is. Simon Rhys Riley-MacTavish,” Johnny says his name with such softness that it hurts.

And that one…that one might work. Bit of a mouthful but nobody besides an officiant is ever going to be saying his full name anyway. And Johnny, apparently.

An officiant. With the highest of clearances. At their wedding. Their make-believe wedding.

This is all, of course, a joke. They’re meant to be having a laugh on watch duty while Garrick and Price sleep their dedicated four hours. Simon had maybe forgotten himself and delved a little too deep into the idea. Maybe he forgot this wasn’t a real conversation. Easy to do with electric blue eyes lit by a full moon and a perfect mouth spouting random, sleep deprived nuggets like “What if we got married?”

“Sure. That’s the one,” he says, regretting every single one of his life choices that led him to this moment. They need to stop. Now.

“That’s the one,” Johnny repeats.

Despite it all, his own jaws keep fucking flapping. Soap tends to have that effect on him. Curious, that.

“When I was a little brat,” he’s already second-guessing the confession about to escape his lips, “I used to think I’d make the perfect husband one day. Cause my old man showed me everything not to be.”

He tries to ignore the sharp inhale that Johnny attempts to mask with a clearing of his throat.

“You would be. Anyone would be lucky to have ye, Simon. I’d certainly be beside myself,” he says that last part in a mutter, looking off into the dark of the forest.

“Right,” he whispers, sarcasm dripping from the word. He hopes they leave it at that. He thinks they have left it at that, peaceful silence promising until Soap picks it up again within minutes.

“If it weren’t for the military, the task force, would ye marry me?”

“Maybe if you asked nicely.”

“Simon. I’m serious.”

He glances up and, yes, that is Soap’s serious face. He’s staring at him so intently it might burn a hole straight through the hard shell mask and into his skull. Fuck. Fucking hell. What is this? The fuck is going on here?

“I—Johnny, we aren’t…we aren’t together,” he can’t help but ease into it as if he’s breaking the truth to Soap. And yet he phrases it as a question instead of the statement it’s meant to be.

“Ye didnae answer the question proper.”

“You didn’t ask proper,” he quips, agitation rising in his voice. Why can’t Soap just stop this? Can he not see how much it’s hurting him? He’s usually so good about reading him.

Johnny grins evilly and plucks a blade of grass from the ground, quickly tying it off. “Need ye to stand up for a sec.”

“What,” he deadpans.

“Up.”

He stands, ever the obedient dog for John fucking MacTavish.

And John fucking MacTavish stays sat on the ground, switching his position to a kneel right in front of him.

He’s going to throw up.

This isn’t happening. This cannot be happening. He’s in a dream and he’ll wake up screaming and sweating and shaking any second.

“It’s not funny anymore, Soap,” he croaks.

It hurts.

“I’m not laughin’,'' he holds the blade of grass up, haphazardly knotted into a tiny circle. “Simon Rhys Riley, would ye do me the absolute fucking honor of being my husband in all ways except legal? Sir.”

It’s so stupid. It’s pretend—he knows that, but he’s sinking to his knees anyway. “This would make me your fiancé. Not husband.”

“That a yes then?”

Johnny is serious and his smile is blinding. Not for the first time, he’s bloody thankful for having his mask on around this ridiculous man. He’s sure his entire face could rival a tomato.

Maybe it’s not a real proposal but, Simon realizes, it’s real to them. Maybe not so far as a promise, but a wish. A what if.

“We’ll wait a bit, let it marinate. Maybe this’ll turn to gold, aye?” Johnny makes to slip the…ring…onto his finger but hesitates, motioning to the glove covering Simon’s hand. “Can I?”

He nods once and the skelly glove is far too gently pulled off and replaced with another far too gentle glide of grass up his ring finger. It’s the perfect fit. It doesn’t rip, doesn’t fall off when Johnny moves his hand back into his glove. It’s as if that stupid blade of grass was meant for him.

What a stupid thought. A stupid thought for a stupid, lovesick ghost.

They blink at each other, both seeming to be in a daze of their own when something possesses Simon—something unhinged and desperate and absolutely necessary in this moment.

He yanks the mask completely off before surging forward and kissing hard enough to hurt both of their noses and quick enough to leave them both aching for more. Johnny whines pitifully and follows his lips when he pulls back.

“Think we’ve done this all backwards, LT,” Johnny breathes into his mouth, hands coming up to pet his face.

This is everything. Everything. Backwards, frontwards, sideways, he doesn’t give a fuck because Johnny is everything.

“You started it, Sergeant.”

***

Six months and six thousand kisses later, Johnny presents him with a gunmetal black ring. Fucker had it planned from the start.

Engraved on the outside:

Riley-MacTavish

And the inside:

In every way that matters.

[the-ships-to-rule-them-all]

strollonso in mother carva 👀👀👀

hello friend! please enjoy 1.6k of horny, in love, idiots. I wrote this in a fever dream, thanks for the inspo to the discord chat

Before they leave the paddock at Silverstone, at their home race, after both he and Fernando have both gotten points for the first time in awhile, Lance hears his name. He turns to see Anna, one of their senior hospitality directors. Only she’s the one in charge of the Mother. And has been since his dad had started incubating a new one when he’d decided on the rebuild.

Lance slows down, waits for her to catch up. “Anna,” he greets her. “Everything good?” 

Anna just shrugs, lips pressed together in a way that tells Lance the answer is a mostly no. “We’ve figured out why the car is shit. We’re going to need you and Fernando in the factory these next two weeks before Hungary so there’s time for the babies to start forming during Break.”

“What happened?” Lance frowns. He remembers going in with Fernando right after Abu Dubi. He’d done all his usual routine, just with more kissing and more touching and actually enjoying the getting fucked. It had been nice.

Anna laughs a little. “Lance, you know how we affectionately call you a cat sometimes because you’re petty if you don’t get enough of Fernando’s attention.”

“Yeah,” Lance says slowly.

“The Mother gave you a bad car because you didn’t give her enough attention.”

Lance stares. What?

“Fernando won’t like that,” Lance says quietly. He loves his boyfriend but he also knows how possessive he is.

“I’ve already talked to him. And he wants podiums so he just has to deal with it. Cause this is how he gets them.”

Lance wrinkles his nose. He thinks back to the want he’d felt when they’d stood together in 2022, the admiration, the desire. The longing.

He nods. “You want us at the factory when?”

“By Tuesday afternoon.”

Lance is going to do something stupid. Reckless. It’s probably too soon for it. But he’s on his phone to the jeweler from his hometown as he walks to the car. By the time he meets Fernando in their apartment, his bank account is short a cool $2 million. 

The next couple days are weird. Fernando keeps going to touch him and moves away. Lance swallows down casual “love yous” before they spill from his mouth. They don’t have sex.

They do drive together to the factory together and Lance pauses the music when they’re about 5 miles out.

“I don’t think manufacturing longing is going to get us a better car.”

Fernando sighs. “No other Mother has been this,” he says.

“Jealous?” Lance asks. Fernando nods. 

Lance scratches the back of his neck. He hates acknowledging it but in this moment it’s actually important. He forges forwards, not meeting Fernando’s eyes. “Babe, she’s kinda, well, me.”

Fernando pulls the car over to the side of the road at that. “Explain,” he requests.

Lance chews on his lip, thinking. “I was with her when she first incubated. I was the first driver to touch her. I was the first driver to come inside her.”

Fernando stares at him. “You were there for the incubating?” 

Lance nods. 

Fernando swallows hard. “Okay, okay. Cool, cool, cool.”

“No doubt,” Lance adds, cackling, Fernando looks at him blankly. “It’s from Brooklyn Nine Nine, have you really,” Fernando shakes his head, “okay, we’re watching that on the flight to Hungary.”

“Sure,” Fernando agrees. His whole demeanor has shifted. The tension and stress replaced by smugness. It happened in a blink. Lance doesn’t understand it but Fernando drives to the factory, one hand on the steering wheel, the other possessively on Lance’s thigh.

When he gets there, pulling into the parking lot, he tugs Lance into a kiss with enough tongue it leaves him breathless and drops the car keys in his lap. 

“Mysterious bastard,” Lance comments to the empty car, even as the fondness threatens to overwhelm him. He takes a deep breath and eyes himself in the mirror. The team’s seen him look worse. Whatever. 

Besides, the entire afternoon is blocked off for the Mother. He’ll look even more of a mess when he leaves to go home. Getting out of the car, he makes his way towards the area that houses the Mother, the babies, the cooldown room for the drivers. Anna is leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

“Can I go in?” Lance asks. He likes to say hello to the Mother, to sit cross-legged like a child and tell her what he’s been up to before the business starts. 

Anna shakes her head. “Your boyfriend is with her now. Said he needed to be alone.”

“Sure, that makes sense,” Lance says. It’s another 20 minutes until Fernando walks out, whistling. He presses a kiss to Lance’s cheek and squeezes his waist. 

Lance looks at him, raises an eyebrow. “Do I want to know?” 

Fernando shrugs. “I’ll tell you later,” he says, striding off in the direction of the higher ups offices. 

“He’s planning something,” Lance says. Anna just shrugs.

“It’ll be to everyone’s benefit. That’s how he’s been since he fell for you,” she points out. Lance grins, ducking his head. He feels warm, a little spoiled, a lot loved.

He brings that feeling with him as he says hello to the Mother, strokes her gently with his ring finger. She pulses, welcoming, the walls dotted with sweat. “How was Nando? He was good to you, yeah?” 

There’s no answer, not that Lance had expected one. The Mother doesn’t exactly communicate. “I bought a ring,” he admits, looking down. “Not even Dad knows. Hopefully that makes up for last year. Which, I’m sorry about by the way. We didn’t know.”

He grins. “I’m going to be an uncle.” 

It’s easy after that, sitting there, one hand on the wall, telling the Mother about his life. He stands up after a bit, goes and opens the door and finds Fernando waiting.

“Ready?” He asks. Fernando nods, eyes dark, teeth gleaming. He looks hungrier than Lance has seen him in weeks, pushing Lance until he’s caught between them. The Mother at his back, Fernando’s hand cupping his face. 

Fernando pauses, stares into Lance’s eyes, and then kisses him, fiercely, devotedly. Lance melts beneath it, cock jumping to hardness in the confines of his jeans fast enough it hurts. Fernando only kisses him harder, licks into his mouth as he gets their clothes off. Once he’s naked and Lance is down to his boxers, the kiss breaks. Fernando doesn’t go far, reaches down and tears open a packet of lube. 

Lance wants to sink to his knees, wants to get Fernando off with his mouth but the look in Fernando’s eyes stops him. He clearly has a plan. One Lance will enjoy as he’s spun around, his back getting goosebumps from Fernando’s chest hair. 

His boxers are stripped, fingers sticky with lube stroking his ass. “Gonna treat you nice,” Fernando says. Lance spreads his legs wider, pleading. 

“You always do. Always give me what I want,” Lance says, his voice low. He feels the Mother reacting, as though she hadn’t understood last time. As though she understands now. It feels like they’re being cocooned, kept safe. He feels the sweat from Fernando’s body sink into his own. Feels his cock twitch, precome leaking at the tip as Fernando slides into him. 

Lance groans at the feeling of Fernando’s hands on him, familiar and welcome. It feels like coming home. Especially as Fernando speaks to him in Spanish, ‘carino, quiero, amor’ repeated over and over. It doesn’t take long. Fernando’s teeth on his neck, his fingers wrapped around Lance’s cock. 

“Please,” he whines, pleasure spiraling through him as Fernando finds his prostate. He’s probably leaving nail marks on the walls of the Mother. He wants to apologize but doesn’t when he realizes that the Mother is letting it happen, flesh becoming malleable as Lance shakes apart. 

“Love you,” Fernando pants out, his voice rough, his body steady. Lance comes at that, his want exploding out of him. Fernando pulls out so the tip is resting against his ass and Lance starts babbling, needing it. 

It feels consuming, like nothing else has ever felt this good. Like nothing ever will. 

“Nano, please, come for me. I want you to,” Lance pleads. He arches his back, twists his neck so they’re kissing, pours everything he feels for Fernando into it. It’s biting. 

Lance understands why there’s a rule about coveting in the 10 commandments when he’s with Fernando, when he’s naked and vulnerable and all his. 

“Mine,” Lance breathes out, closing the gap again, swallowing Fernando’s tongue, stealing his air. 

“Yours,” Fernando echoes, a vow, his orgasm dripping down Lance’s thighs. Lance turns, wraps his arms around his boyfriend and buries his face in his neck. Fernando’s hands are gentle, stroking his back, his shoulders.

“Shit, that was,” Lance murmurs. 

Fernando nods, pressing a kiss to Lance’s forehead. “The car’s gotta be good.” 

Lance laughs. “How many do you think we can make?”

“We got nearly two weeks and the team has basically demanded we’re in here every afternoon,” Fernando smirks. He eyes Lance, gaze catching on where their seed has intermingled on Lance’s thighs. “Would she be mad if we bring props?”

Lance raises an eyebrow, twines their fingers together. “Why?”

Fernando shrugs, eyes glinting in a way that makes Lance shudder. “Car might be faster if I make you wait.”

Fuck. Lance nods, eager. He kisses Fernando again. The cocoon that formed around slowly backs away and Lance can see the door again. 

“Should we?” he gestures. Fernando nods. He pauses, eyes wide as he looks at where Lance had dug his fingers into the Mother. Lance follows his gaze and sees. Oh. Lines dragging down the wall of the carva, like scars.

They look old already, worn in. As though they were supposed to be there. 

“Uh,” Lance mutters, a bit dumbfounded. Fernando just grins at him.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Unpopular opinion, but while I’m not a fan of random or spontaneous musical episodes of media in general (there is usually no reason, they add nothing to the plot of show, they’re awkward, the members of the cast who can’t sing are mysteriously absent from the episode or shameless dubbed, it’s weird when they parody a specific musical and force it to tie into the plot), I would have been strangely fine with a Wolf359 musical episode and think it would have actually fit the show extremely well.

The Dear Listeners’ whole thing from the beginning was about music, so it fits the theme extremely well, it’s not like the musical vibes would “come out of nowhere” and if the Dear Listeners are the ones that cause it happen, it would actually make sense. It’s also plausible in the Wolf359 universe as the Dear Listeners can create time loops, clones, and do a ton of stuff that’s already way more impressive than forcing people to sing, and AI like Eris can trap them in a virtual reality so that’s also a possibility.

Not to mention the entire cast would have ATE UP a multi hour special musical episode. Just imagine:

Lovelace. We heard her sing already in Change of Mind, she would rock this. A song about her old crew perhaps?

Minkowski. The whole plot to her musical and her Broadway dreams. Her talent show performance. All of it. Maybe a song about Dominik or whether she regrets coming here. Her dreams of seeing the stars and how now all she wants is to see home again.

Kepler. He’d turn the Whisky speech into a villain song and what a villain song it would be. Casually and smoothly threatening their lives as he twirls the glass in his hand. He sings a reprise on the way out with old lyrics meaning something new or with entirely new lyrics and the final line of the song is cut off when he’s blasted out of the ship, leaving a haunting silence where his last words should be.

Speaking of villains, Rachel. Her rotating between the characters, condescending each of them as an aside, talking about everything she’s done and will do to get ahead, interrupting David Clarke when he tries to have a solo.

Hera. She’d have a nice heartfelt song about her inner feelings, anger, sadness, heartbreak, etc. that Pryce would do a villainous reprise of that has disturbingly similar emotions related to her own disability, but takes a dark and vengeful turn at the end as opposed to Hera’s more hopeful and resilient attitude about her situation. Also the way Pryce sings hers can lead the audience to thinking it’s Hera singing at first until they realize.

Jacobi and Maxwell. They sing a duet about how they doubt what Goddard is doing sometimes, but it’s allowing them to follow their dreams and discover who they’re meant to be (plus how they found family in each other). After Maxwell dies, or the musical hallucination of her disappears, Jacobi has to sing the reprise alone and the hopeful tempo is replaced by one of sadness, anger, and ultimately acceptance as he wishes Alana goodbye.

Hilbert. He would either resist for such a long time then sing a short sad song about Russia and his sister that he claims means nothing, or he’d refuse to sing and finally be forced to sing in a monotonous unenthusiastic off key bland voice with a heavy accent. Go girl, give us nothing. Another option is this is Blessie’s song sung through Hilbert.

Cutter. Do I even need to restate it, this man dragged a grand piano to space so he could dramatically play it before his evil plans. He would eat up a villain number and enjoy every single second of the performance too. Starts out falsely pleasant and sweet, the ominous vibes slowly come in until they’re in full swing.

Eiffel. He’d also insist this was stupid and try to refuse to sing or would awkwardly or sarcastically sing a weird song, but would eventually break down and sing something quiet and heartfelt about Anne and whether he can even be a hero now after all he’s done.

I hope this post finds the right people. Please someone understand my vision!

[sparklychaosandotherthings]

MORE Headcanons for dean winchester that are true cause I say so;

- he has the WORST HANDWRITING EVER IN THE WORLD. He’s dyslexic AND had almost zero formative education (his dad taught him the basics but like all dads it usually ended with dean holdin back tears at the dinner table) he lets Sam write everything, because even DEAN cant read his own handwriting

- he will tell you that he thinks fidget toys r the stupidest thing ever invented and a waste of resources. (He owns like 5 fidget spinners and a 25 dollar iron fidget pen; “what!??? It’s for hunting!!!!”)

- you would think he’s a dog person, but he really prefers cats, they’re more mobile, and he feels like leaving a dog alone for so long while he hunts is cruel. Plus he doesn’t really like walking, he does enough of it on the job. (He also believes cats are good luck and trusts their judgement on where spirits are)

- he can’t sleep when it’s perfectly quiet. When it’s too quiet while he hunts it usually means danger, so he’ll crank up the ac or the radiator in whatever hotel they’re staying in just so he can hear the noise. (This drives Sam crazy sometimes, because he’s the exact opposite)

- he LOVES jewelry, if u gift him a bracelet or a necklace, the very next day you’ll see him wearing and showing it off. He has a small collection of rings, bracelets, and necklaces. His favorites are the pieces made of iron that he can use while hunting

- while he doesn’t like reading, he really likes audiobooks, on long drives he’ll put them on the radio and listen to them for hours, and he’ll listen to anything, non - fiction, biographies, physics textbooks. As long as the narrator has a nice voice he’ll listen to it.

- he doesn’t use hair spray, (he’s worried it’s too flammable and in his line of work you deal with fire A LOT) he prefers one certain brand of hair gel that he is UTTERLY loyal too. Dean will go out of his way to obtain HIS brand of hair gel, and will accept no substitute.

- he genuinely does not know how to work most electronic devices outside of the norm. Somehow, Sam hasn’t really figured this out yet.

- he never dreams; and he always thought that was a little weird, but then Sam started to have his dreams, and he felt like even more of a weirdo for never dreaming. He’s honestly a lil jealous of Sam in that regard, he’d rather have bad dreams then no dreams at all

- he’s a good southern boy, so everyone is either “sir,” or “ma’am,” he genuinely means it (most of the time) but because of a slight tone delivery problem, major attitude, and different regional dialects, people believe hes mocking them.

- Because of his lil southern self, you’ll hear him use his waaaayyyy too long analogies that don’t make a single lick of sense, and he’s often unintentionally cryptic just because that’s how he talks. (Sometimes he’s confused why people think he’s so mysterious and hard to read)

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Chapter 2 of my reincarnation fic!

@rottmnt-background-screenshots

@daboyau

“Okay, this clearly is something beyond my scope.” Donnie comments as he watches the recording from last night.

This was after he saw the readings he got were nearly incomprehensible.

The recording showed them all having their markings glow throughout the night.

There was also the fact that each of them remembered the dream from their own perspective.

The exact same dream.

“Draxum could probably tell us what’s happening.” Mikey suggests.

“Normally I’d keep pushing for science, but I’m worried that this unregulated use of our mystic powers may cause damage like it did to our arms, so I’m in agreement for calling him.”

“Should we tell dad first? This might be some Hamato kind of thing.” Raph mentions.

“Could save us a call. Let’s go see if he’s awake.” Leo leads the way to the movie room.

They find him watching his usual commercials.

“Dad, we gotta talk.”

“What is it, Red? Did one of you boys break something again?”

“No, uh…..we shared a weird dream where we were all different people in a different place that looked pretty old.”

Splinter tenses and shuts off the projector, which immediately makes everyone realize how serious this could be.

“Tell me more about it.”

The turtles explain how the dream went from their different viewpoints.

Splinter frowns and rubs his beard.

“I do not believe this is anything dangerous, I think I know what’s going on.”

“So it’s a Hamato thing like Raph thought?”

“No, not exactly Orange. Maybe not entirely. Do you know what reincarnation is?”

“That’s what Tora was talking about, something about another life.” Raph answers.

“There’s one belief that when we die, we could come back as anything, even another person. These dreams might actually be memories.”

Mikey gasps loudly.

“We’ve been a family before!” He squeals and pulls Leo into a hug.

Leo dramatically moves him away.

“No way, apparently Donnie was your favorite! Go hug him!”

Mikey whimpers and gives him the biggest sad eyes he can muster.

“Kidding, kidding!” Leo quickly brings him back into the hug.

“I thought our ancestors all became ghosts after they died, so how did they become us instead?” Raph questions.

“It’s only a possibility they were Hamato. They could have been anyone. We should try to contact Karai, she would know more.” Splinter answers.

“I can’t wait to see gram gram again. It feels like it’s been forever since our last talk.”

“According to my records it’s been….2 weeks.” Donnie corrects.

“Still way too long! Let’s do it!” Leo encourages.

They all go to the area in the lair they set up specially for contacting their ancestors. It was usually just for talking to Karai since Splinter was still angry the rest of them for trying to make his sons martyrs, but his mom was also summoned for some nice chats from time to time.

They sit down on their color coded pillows that were put together close to each other in a circle. All at once, they activate their ninpo and focus on bringing Karai out. Her form slowly appears in the center.

“Hi Gram-Gram!” Mikey greets her with a smile.

“Hello boys. I’m glad to see you all again.”

“It’s good to see you too Gram-Gram, but we’ve got somethin kinda serious to ask about.” Raph comments.

“The dreams, they’re worrying you.”

“Yeah! How’d ya know?”

“When your ninpo activated, I was able to sense what was going on. Please fill me in on the rest.”

The turtles tell her what they told Splinter.

“Your father mentioned the mystic warriors that trapped the Krang, yes?“

They all nod.

“They were 500 years before my time, but it was strongly believed that they started the Foot Clan.”

“Hold on, pops said the Foot Clan worshipped the Krang! Why would they worship who they were tryna stop?”

“The Foot Clan only started worshiping the Krang after they gave the armor to my father.”

“Wait….I’m not good at math, but if the key was made 1,000 years ago and it trapped them, how were there Krang to give your dad armor?” Leo scrunches up his face.

“Some Krang managed to avoid being captured. Enough to cause centuries worth of damage….but not enough to get back the key.”

“There’s been Krang here this entire time….?”

“I don’t know what happened to them after I sealed my father away, so unfortunately I don’t have much information. What I do know is that the ancestors before we became the Hamato clan aren’t the same. Despite the mystic energy, it’s only once we separated from the Foot that we could cultivate the Ninpo. My father himself only appears because of the Ninpo used to free him.”

“Then what you’re saying is that getting our ninpo back could have helped uncover latent mystic energy from before it was actually ninpo. It shook free memories and our ninpo helps us see it all at once.” Donnie explains.

Karai nods.

“Raphael possibly experienced bits and beforehand because he was the first to dig deep. Now that you all have had major moments, Leonardo especially, they are flowing through. Because they’re not channeled, they are random and scattered still. Through meditation and shared ninpo, you could see them clearly and without having to sleep to do it. Some memories may only come through based on the person you’re sharing ninpo with.”

“Thanks for the advice Gram-Gram. We’ll start practicin.” Raph smiles at her.

“Stay safe and be careful.” She vanishes into green light.

“We should try it out now! I want to see more of what we were like!” Mikey shouts excitedly.

“I’m with Mikey, small Raph is hilarious.” Leo smirks.

“This may help be gather more data about this whole situation so I agree too.” Donnie states.

“Go on and try. I will stay with you in case something goes wrong.” Splinter adds.

“Let’s do it then!” Raph stands up and he helps his brothers bring their seats closer together.

Splinter sits outside the new circle and the turtles hold hands before closing their eyes. They each dig into their ninpo, causing their marks to light up like before. Thoughts of the lives they led before transform the dark in front of them into a bright and cloudless day. There’s a dirt road in front of them as well, one that’s moving. It seemed they were hitching a ride on a cart that was mostly occupied with hay.

Kosuke and Tora both kick their feet up and down as they sit together on the edge of the cart. Aoi yawns as leans against the hay and Tomo frowns while looking at the younger two of their group.

“You’re sure that you know how to earn money?”

“How do you think I’ve kept me and Tora fed? I told you not to worry. I’ve got everything under control. Now that I’m your big brother-“

“We’re the same age.”

“But I’m bigger, so I’m the biggest brother, and that means I take care of all of you.”

“They won’t take us to any orphanages?”

“I’ll be honest with you, the orphanage didn’t care that you left. They probably filled up the spaces there already. None of them want to take in any kids they don’t have to. We can stay together. That’s a sworn promise.”

“Don’t promise something you can’t keep.”

“That’s why I don’t! I can make sure no one gets taken away. Just like I can keep us fed. We’re already almost there.” He points towards a farm.

“A farm? What will we do there?”

“Anything they need us to. If they don’t need help then we go to their neighbors.”

“Ugh, physical labor….”

Aoi laughs.

“I’ll be doing most of the heavy lifting.”

“But I help too!” Tora interjects.

“That true, she is a force to be reckoned with. I saw her carry a hay bale twice her size.”

“Really!? No wonder we got that boulder down! You’re so strong!” Kosuke’s eyes light up.

Tora moves her sleeve up and proudly flexes her arm.

Kosuke pokes her arm in awe.

They eventually get off the cart before heading towards the house. Aoi introduces himself and everybody else then asks about any work they could help out with for money.

To Tomo’s surprise, the farmer eagerly accepts. Aoi is sent to take care of the farm animals while the rest of the three harvest fruit.

Tora pouts heavily as she picks pears off the tree and places them in a basket.

“No fair….they won’t let me help him because I’m a girl.”

“I’m surprised anyone had let you before.” Tomo comments.

“It’s because I was wearing a boy’s yukata. In my next life I want to be a big and strong boy like aniki.”

“You could grow bigger and stronger as a girl! So big and strong that you’re better than any boy.” Kosuke suggests.

Tora’s eyes sparkle like everything was just made clear.

“You’re a genius!”

Kosuke smiles widely.

They only stop working once the sun goes down. The three of them head to the house and see Aoi already there, talking to the farmer again. When he sees them, he ends the conversation and rushes over.

“Guys! He said we could sleep in the barn for tonight.”

“What? How’d you convince him of that?” Tomo questions.

“Aniki is the best at talking to people.” Tora says proudly.

“That’s not a real answer.”

“No worrying about how! Let’s just get to sleep.” Aoi walks past them and to the barn.

Tomo narrows his eyes as he watches him again and is the last to follow him. The farmer’s wife was nice enough to give them futons to sleep on before leaving them to rest.

Kosuke was snuggled into Tomo’s side despite the summer heat. Tora was already fast asleep, splayed out with her limbs on top of Aoi’s.

“How do you sleep like that?” Tomo doesn’t move his head, but he can see it clearly.

“You get used to it. It’s part of being a family. Goodnight!” Aoi closes his eyes.

Tomo sighs and does the same.

It’s difficult for him to actually fall asleep. He’s aware that everything is okay, that they’re safer than they had been for a while.

So why can’t he sleep?

After what could have been hours, he’s never sure when this happens, he finally opens his eyes and looks over back at Aoi.

All he sees is Tora hugging an empty futon.

Panic fills him as he sits straight up, still avoiding waking up. He notices that the barn door is closed. It only made everything seem weirder. He quickly leaves the barn and glances around outside to see if Aoi was nearby.

No luck.

He closes the barn door behind him and starts searching the whole farm. Once getting to the chicken coop, his seeking ends.

Aoi is in the middle of a yawn but jerks up in surprise.

“Tomo! Whaaat are you doing here?”

“That’s the question I have.”

“Just….getting some air. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Your words say one thing but your yawning says another.”

Aoi sighs.

“They only let us stay here because I agreed to guard their animals. Something has been spooking through chickens.”

“You worked harder than us today, why didn’t you ask for someone else to do it?”

“Because there’s no way I’m letting any of you get hurt if it’s a big animal! The rule is that it’s me before anyone else in this family.”

“I don’t recall agreeing to that.”

“Too bad, biggest brother makes the rules.”

“For the last time, you’re not-“ Tomo looks behind him and freezes.

Aoi turns around and sees glowing eyes in the darkness. His arm immediately shoots out and across Tomo’s chest.

“Get behind me!”

“I can’t just-!”

Whatever is in the darkness starts coming closer, fast, and Aoi throws himself over Tomo. His eyes shut right and he tenses as he curls protectively around him.

“…..Aoi. It’s okay. You can get up.”

He opens his eyes.

“Why?”

“It’s just a cat.”

Aoi quickly moves away from him and sees the cat casually stroll away.

“The gods are cruel.” He sighs heavily in relief.

“…..You really meant everything you said.”

“Of course I did. I really don’t know you or your brother, but when we became kenzoku, that wasn’t something to just say. We’re in this together now. Even if I wasn’t older than you, I’d still want to protect you. I’d want to help.” He smiles.

“I still feel like….the kind of person you are….the way you act, you don’t really exist. You can’t.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to keep proving I do.”

Tomo smiles back softly.

“Now come on, you should get back to sleep.”

Aoi starts pulling him along.

“I don’t think so. Stay here.”

Tomo makes him let go and rushes off. Aoi stays where he’s standing, confused.

That is until Tomo brings their futons back with him and lays them on the ground.

“We’re sleeping in shifts.”

“But-“

“No buts. It’s the only way I’ll be able to get rest. You sleep first before anymore cats get here.”

Aoi chuckles.

“Okay, okay, deal.”

He lays down and Tomo sits upright on his.

“Goodnight, for real this time.” Aoi closes his eyes.

“Goodnight.” Tomo looks at him and watches him actually fall asleep.

He then looks back at the barn where everyone else is sleeping.

“And thank you.”

The turtles snap out of the memory and open their eyes.

“Ohmigosh, we were so cute!” Mikey squeals.

“That cat part was pretty funny, right Donnie?….Donnie…?” Leo’s eyes widen as he looks at him.

He’s crying.

[theletterunread]

Books in 2022

Uncharacteristically for a midterm year, 2022 sucked. 2006, 2010, and 2014 hosted some of my happiest experiences, and even their worst parts were emotionally rich or educational. 2022 was mostly stagnant, interrupted only by misfortune: illnesses and deaths, harassment, personal and professional setbacks that started on January 2nd and continued through December 29th.

There were nice moments too – everyone should go to at least one Weird Al concert – but they’re obscured in my memory by the relentless slaps to the face. In that same way, when I look over the list of books I read in 2022, I recognize a lot of good titles, yet the overall vibe is one of disappointment. But there’s an unresolved question of cause and effect at hand: did a bad reading list contribute to the mediocrity of the year, or did my existing bad mood prevent me from enjoying these books? Is it the tale or the teller?

Fifth Business, Robertson Davies (Jan. 2-5)

The first volume of the “Deptford Trilogy.” Dunstan Ramsay, a retiring history professor, reviews his own life. The title comes from the narrator’s sense of himself as a supporting actor (neither “Hero, nor Heroine, Confidant nor Villain”) in the more riveting lives of others. Maybe you can already understand my interest in this character. The novel is sophisticated and perceptive about human behavior, and at the end, it reveals itself to have been beautifully plotted too. A thoughtless act by a nasty kid in Ramsay’s neighborhood turns out to have reverberated through generations, and it leads to a dramatic and frightening ending. Frightening because the events are so convincingly presented that you can well imagine an unwelcome conclusion like that rearing up in your own life.

Abandoned Cars, Tim Lane (Jan. 6-10)

Pulpy short stories drawn in a highly detailed, old-fashioned style. The drawings carry it. The writing isn’t bad, but it’s a lot of those, “lonely men, open roads, cigarettes, greasy spoons, crooners on the jukebox” kind of stories. A midcentury nostalgia that was picked clean a long time ago.

A Complicated Kindness, Miriam Toews (Jan. 9-16)

A teenaged Mennonite in Manitoba dreams of a more exciting life in New York City. I can sympathize with the heroine’s dreams, and I did like learning about Mennonite life, a world I know nothing about and the author knows intimately. But the details were ultimately so foreign to me that there was a limit to how much I could get into the novel. It’s hard to know how perceptive an observation is when you have no idea what’s being perceived. Still, people whose tastes I trust (my dad; the cartoonist Tim Kreider) admire Toews, so let’s call this my failure.

Stone Fruit, Lee Lai (Jan. 11-13)

At the start of the book, Ray and Bron are happy aunts to a six-year-old niece. But soon, their relationship ends, and they’re sunk into an unhappiness that’s not alleviated by the families they turn to. It’s all pretty bleak, but not unfairly so. The emotions the characters endure are realistic and earned, so while you might feel depressed at the end, you won’t feel manipulated. Plus, there are some great illustrations, particularly of the friendly monsters that the niece imagines while playing with her aunts.

The Manticore, Robertson Davies (Jan. 17-25)

The second part of the “Deptford Trilogy,” following David Staunton, the son of the rotten kid from the first book, as he undergoes Jungian analysis, a subject I know little about. But the little bit that I understand (or misunderstand), I like. It’s much more internal than Fifth Business, the scope is narrower, and the stakes are lower, but it’s just as intelligent and well-written.

A Map of Betrayal, Ha Jin (Jan. 26 - Feb. 1)

The main story is of Gary Shang, a double agent working for the CIA and passing information back to China while dealing with his American family and his conflicting loyalties. The framing story is of Gary’s daughter learning of her father’s past and reckoning with it. As usual, Jin’s insight into his characters’ emotional lives is terrific and effortlessly rendered. The details of this particular plot, however, are not quite so successful. Some of the set-up is unconvincing, and there are plot turns that feel sketchy. Not so much that you’ll have to put the book down, but don’t go in expecting another Waiting.

Tintin: The Complete Companion, Michael Farr (Feb. 2-21)

The second book I read to supplement 2021’s reread of the entire Tintin series. This one deals with the factual background for the stories and the artistic process by which Hergé wrote and drew each volume – as opposed to The Metamorphoses of Tintin, which I read two months earlier, and which took a more academic view. This book is beautiful to look at, featuring details of the series’ artwork and clippings from Hergé’s archives, but neither this nor Metamorphoses really deepens the pleasure of reading the actual books. Maybe what I’m looking for is a third path: a book that doesn’t take a technical or academic approach to the series, but rather an aesthetic and emotional approach. Maybe I should stop whining and write that book myself.

World of Wonders, Robertson Davies (Feb. 3-8)

The last book in the “Deptford Trilogy.” More like Fifth Business than The Manticore, this one again covers most of a lifetime – this time, of the magician Magnus Eisengrim, who is linked, from birth, to Dunstan Ramsey and David Staunton. This one ties up some of the remaining threads from the other two books, if that sort of thing is important to you, and it’s all about stage magic, something I always like reading about (in fact, this book lead me to seek out the one three spots down this list). On balance, it’s not as good as The Manticore, which itself is not as good as Fifth Business, but those are only relative markings. There’s no reason not to read all three.

On Animals, Susan Orlean (Feb. 9-15)

A collection of essays about domestic animals and wild animals. Though there are interesting stories of whales, tigers, and other majestic creatures, the essay that affected me the most was about homing pigeons, perhaps because their feats were the most beautiful to me. Because this is a collection of pieces written separately and later cobbled together, it doesn’t have the thematic strength that her single-subject books do, but it’s worth reading nonetheless.

Pocket Kings, Ted Heller (Feb. 16-23)

A funny book about a stalled-out novelist who starts playing poker and becomes a relative success while the rest of his life falls apart. The plot doesn’t matter too much. You’re in it for the wittiness and intelligence of each individual paragraph. Towards the end, there’s a great section where we’re urged to reconsider the wisdom of a dozen pithy quotes by famous writers. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “There are no second acts in American lives” is challenged by the records of “Richard Nixon, Muhammad Ali, John Travolta, Bill Clinton or…F. Scott Fitzgerald.” There’s also a good joke when the narrator accuses the novelist Zoë Heller of leveraging her last name to mislead readers into thinking she’s related to Joseph Heller – a joke that became even better when I learned that Ted Heller is actually Joseph Heller’s son.

Penn & Teller’s Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends (Feb. 24-26)

When I was in high school, I read their other two books: How to Play with Your Food and How to Play in Traffic, both of which were full of worthy anecdotes and some magic tricks I’ve deployed throughout the years to mild approval. This one was less good. There are fewer interesting passages, and much of the book serves as a trick in and of itself. For example, half of the pages are illegible, printed in what the book itself calls, “itty bitty tiny irritating psycho-print,” so that it can be used as a prop in one of the tricks the legible pages teach you. Clever, but how can you not feel conned yourself when half of the pages are unreadable?

David Lodge and the Tradition of the Modern Novel, J. Russell Perkin (Mar. 3-7)

Another academic analysis of a favorite author, another unsatisfying read. Why do I keep picking these up? There’s nothing wrong with what Perkin says about David Lodge, and as members of the same relatively small fandom, I feel a kinship with him. But there’s no response possible to somebody else’s analysis besides (a) agreeing or (b) presenting a competing analysis. I hope he got an A for this thesis, but as a book, it does nothing for me.

Dracula, Bram Stoker (Mar. 7-17)

Foolishly, I wrote my own vampire stories before ever reading Dracula. I suppose I thought that, since the story has been absorbed into our collective consciousness, there was no need to read it. Maybe you feel that way. That is not so. It’s a very good book, even if it doesn’t surprise us the way it would have its first readers. It’s perfectly paced and vividly rendered, and, although the subject is masked by the nineteenth-century propriety of its language, I think you’ll be excited by how sexually charged the novel is. An early scene of the brides of Dracula descending on a victim will have you sweating.

All The Answers, Michael Kupperman (Mar. 11-14)

Michael Kupperman’s father was a boy genius who appeared on a panel show in the 1940s, answering tricky math questions. Being a child star was not a positive experience for him and he grew into a withdrawn adult, who never shared memories of his childhood with his son. Kupperman’s book is both a biography of his father and a memoir of his attempts to connect with a distant parent. In that sense, and because it’s a comic, it invites some comparisons to Maus, but that’s a pretty tenuous comparison. I only make it because the book doesn’t offer much to hold on to. Neither half of it is bad, but it never achieves escape velocity, perhaps because the father at the center of it all remains unknown to us and to Kupperman.

The Art of Fiction, David Lodge (Mar. 19-24)

A collection of newspaper columns from the novelist. In 50 entries, he discusses one element of the novel (opening lines, point of view, symbolism, the title, unreliable narrators, etc.), and illustrates his points with excerpts from modern and classical novels. It’s all very smart and very digestible, and if you’re trying to write a novel, you’d surely find some useful tricks to borrow. My favorite piece is the one on naming characters, in which Lodge cannily compares the deliberately suggestive names "Robyn Penrose" and "Victor Wilcox" in his own novel Nice Work to the name "Quinn" in Paul Auster's City of Glass. Quinn is a name that “flies off in so many little directions at once,” and if a name can mean anything, it ultimately means nothing at all – which, as Lodge rightly points out, is the point of that existential book.

Fictional Father, Joe Ollman (Mar. 19-23)

The story of a newspaper cartoonist who became rich and famous for his sappy father-and-son comic strip while ignoring and abusing his own son. This is a made-up story, but apparently – as Ollman himself only discovered after he’d written it – it’s very congruent to the real life story of Hank Ketcham, creator of Dennis the Menace. Though Ollman sees and draws out the real emotions of in this dynamic, his book is played mostly for laughs and is mostly successful. Lots of funny dialogue and a drawing style that makes everyone look laughable.

The Lost Weekend, Charles Jackson (Mar. 26-30)

The classic novel about a dissolute alcohol’s weeklong binge. The best scene is when he makes a half-joking/half-serious attempt to steal a stranger’s purse to fund his addiction. In addition to how well it works as a sad character study, it’s also one of those books that transports you to a bygone urban landscape – if you like that sort of thing, which I do.

Whereabouts, Jhumpa Lahiri (Mar. 31 - Apr. 4)

I find Lahiri’s work both irresistible and highly resistible. I like it because it’s so good, so intelligent, so precise, and so effective. I reject it because that same expertise leaves me feeling manipulated. It provokes an emotional response, yes, but because what’s provoked is always the only emotional response made available by the text, you have the sense that you’ve been moved from A to B to C without your input. A friend of mine says writing like this is akin to a sniper’s bullet: the marksmanship is incredible, but how good are you going to feel about the results? Oh, but this book in particular? It’s fine. A woman without a name wanders through a European city without a name, thinking. A little more diffuse and experimental than her other books, but in the end it feels…well, you know.

Amateurs, Dylan Hicks (Apr. 7-11)

I hardly remember this one. It was about a group of twentysomethings, tied together by threads of romance, thwarted romance, friendship, and competitiveness. Was there a wedding? A road trip to get to that wedding? I’m not sure. My recollection is that the book was good, not bad, but I have no evidence to back that up.

Don’t Come in Here, Patrick Kyle (Apr. 10)

A little comic book. Not much of a narrative. Just a showcase of trippy artwork, which wasn’t bad. What I remember most was returning this book to the library and it not being checked back in, obligating me to call up the circulation desk before I could be slammed with a humiliating late fee.

The Long Prospect, Elizabeth Harrower (Apr. 12-16)

An Australian novel about a young girl who lives a stifling life in a boarding house owned by her unpleasant grandmother. One boarder, a scientist, takes the girl under his wing. That’s the set-up, but I can’t animate any of the characters. Like Amateurs, the action of the book has been completely forgotten. Unlike Amateurs, the feeling that remains is not positive.

To Know You’re Alive, Dakota McFadzean (Apr. 14-15)

A collection of off-kilter, slightly spooky stories. There’s a cute one about how our culture might react if a boring alien landed on Earth, a creepy one about the discovery of a lost piece of children’s media, an eggheaded appraisal of Super Mario Bros. 2, and a silent nightmare with an inescapable cereal mascot. They’re all fun.

Let Us Be Perfectly Clear, Paul Hornschemeier (Apr. 16-17)

Another collection of short comics. The design of the book is clever. There are two halves: Let Us Be, printed from the front of the book to the middle; and Perfectly Clear, printed from the back of the book to the middle. But the stories themselves are less memorable than the package.

Hanging On, Edmund G. Love (Apr. 17-24)

Pulled off a library shelf at random, I think I may be the only person to have ever checked it out. A memoir of a being a teenager and sometimes college student in Michigan during the Great Depression. Though there are few highs and many lows when you grow up in that era, the book is a breezy, amusing read, so long as you don’t get hung up with resentment after learning that his tuition to attend the University of Michigan was only about $100 per year.

Carnet de Voyage, Craig Thompson (Apr. 21-23)

A little illustrated travel diary. Thompson wrote it while he was traveling around, promoting Blankets. It’s trifling, but fine. I had a stomach flu at the start of the year, so a sequence of Thompson suffering from food poisoning made me feel seen.

King of King Court, Travis Dandro (Apr. 24-28)

A very good memoir of childhood. It’s drawn in a chunky, juvenile style, but the material is pretty harrowing. Dandro’s dad was a heroin addict, his stepfather was an alcoholic, and his mom was understandably harried and overwhelmed. Dandro’s perspective is mature and empathetic, but he’s still able to recall and illustrate the feelings of fear and anger and shame that can arise in kids when they have unwelcome encounters with the adult world. It sounds like a painful read, but it’s not at all.

Remembering the Bone House, Nancy Mairs (Apr. 27 – May 5)

A memoir about the physical spaces Mairs has occupied: both houses and her own body. Her approach is scattershot, but I liked that. There’s a tendency towards loftiness and know-it-all-ism in memoirists (fair enough, given that the alternative is to concede that the stories from your life are meaningless, in which case, how self-indulgent is it to publish them?), but Mairs avoids it. She presents her book with the attitude that writing is not the summation of life, but just another action taken by the living. Illustrating that point is a moment where she writes of publishing a personal essay about her affair and discovering that, contrary to what she thought, her husband didn’t know about it – until he read the printed story.

Nutshell, Ian McEwan (May 7-11)

Told from the perspective of a fetus, as he listens in on the sinister machinations and plotting of his mother and her lover. It’s clever and the high concept doesn’t wear thin. Embarrassingly, I didn’t realize until I had finished the book that it was retelling the story of Hamlet, even though the title comes from one of the only lines of that play I can confidently quote.

Level Up, Gene Luen Yang & Thien Pham (May 11-12)

The main character’s strict father won’t buy him a Nintendo Entertainment System. When the father dies, the hero buys an NES, and develops a passion for video games that becomes a crutch whenever he falters in life. Eventually, he’s set upon by some cherubs or angels who act as his guilty conscience, obliging him to follow his late father’s wishes for him. The main idea here – the hero’s challenge to find his individual happiness without disappointing or disrespecting his family – is handled well, but I can’t help but wish that video games hadn’t been the subject the story was spun around. I like video games, and respect their intelligence and artistic merit…but every time people try to transplant them into another medium, the operation is a failure, and the subject dies on the table.

The Unconsoled, Kazuo Ishiguro (May 12-21)

A book that tries your patience, if it’s possible to say that without being totally negative. A pianist arrives in a new city in advance of a concert and is soon dragged all over the city for endless, perplexing meetings and chores. The story is presented like a dream, where characters pop up randomly, and locations can be endlessly distant in one moment and right around the corner in the next. The thing is, dreams are always more interesting to the dreamer than to any audience, so the book can be frustrating at times, even if you accept its structure. Still, it’s impressive that he pulled off such a stunt for 500 pages, and the quality of Ishiguro’s prose is bright and beautiful as always.

Perchance to Dream, Charles Beaumont (May 23-29)

Twilight Zone-esque tales from a writer for The Twilight Zone. Actually, many of the stories in this book became scripts for that show. But they work in either medium. The best is “The Howling Man,” about a traveler in Europe who comes across a group of monks who are keeping a strange prisoner. Inventive and tidy and not bogged down by any need for meaning, these are the sort of stories I’ve been trying to write recently.

Passport, Sophia Glock (May 28-30)

As a teenager, Glock discovered that her secretive parents were actually spies working for the CIA. I think that’s the set-up for Spy Kids, but this book goes in a less bombastic direction. It’s a fairly conventional coming-of-age story, as Sophia makes friends and enemies, goes out to parties, and learns to accept herself. It’s okay, and there’s something amusingly anticlimactic about the irrelevance of her parents’ profession to Glock’s own story, but you won’t be mesmerized by this book.

The Resisters, Gish Jen (May 30 - June 2)

A baseball prodigy tries to find happiness in a dystopian future. I sped through this book, surprised at how tolerable it was, but by the end, my general disinterest in dystopian stories won out. The nod-your-head-sadly parallels to our current culture are more wearying than enlightening. The baseball scenes are okay, though. That sport translates well to the page.

Come Along With Me, Shirley Jackson (June 4-9)

The title comes from an unfinished novella included in this collection, but it and every other story are overshadowed by “The Lottery,” which is as good as its reputation holds. The next best inclusion is Jackson’s essay about the reception “The Lottery” got. In addition to the reams of letters from people incapable of understanding that her story was fictional and convinced that there really did exist a small town that committed ritual stoning, she received a fawning letter, to which she politely responded, “I admire your work, too,” only to discover that she had responded to an accused axe murderer. On the far opposite end, this collection also has “Pajama Party,” a cute domestic comedy about a child’s first sleepover. I liked that one too.

Twists of Fate, Paco Roca (June 9-11)

I’ll compare this one to Maus too, and I’ll be on firmer ground: a comic book about a young man painstakingly drawing out the war stories of an elderly man. The man fought against the Nationalists in the Spanish Civil War, fled to Algeria, joined the Allied forces, and was party of the forces that liberated Paris from the Nazis. But he was never able to return to Spain to liberate it from Franco, a regret that gnaws at him, even at age 94. That’s a good story, and it digs into some underexposed history, but I was never fully convinced of the need for the framing device.

Memoir of a Gambler, Jack Richardson (June 12-19)

A little bit like a non-fiction version of Pocket Kings. After his divorce, Richardson crosses the country, and eventually the globe, playing poker in high and low places. There’s not a lot of happiness in this world, and Richardson does nothing to change that, but his cold and precise rendering of his adventures (and really, they are adventures: he’s not just sitting at the tables for the whole book) are entrancing. His description of the geography of Las Vegas – which, by chance, I was reading as I flew into Las Vegas – should on its own be enough to shut down the city.

Hidden Valley Road, Robert Kolker (June 21-25)

The true story of a large family in Colorado Springs, some of whom were acquainted with my uncles. There are 12 children, and half of them are ultimately diagnosed with schizophrenia, leading to much grief but ultimately making the family a fruitful source of data for medical researchers. It’s a sad book, and like all good documentaries, it makes you feel guilty for being witness to what you’re seeing.

Lovesickness, Junji Ito (June 24-26)

A collection of unsettling, grotesque comics. Exactly what I was expecting and hoping for when I picked it up, yet I was unmoved by the collection. The territory is just the same as in Uzumaki, which I’d read the year before, but as a set of independent (rather than linked) stories, the material doesn’t have a chance to develop an insidious feeling or any thematic resonance. It’s more a series of satisfactory but forgettable shocks.

Thin Places, Jordan Kisner (June 27 – July 3)

These are the sort of essays all NYU freshman are taught to write: pick three or four subjects – usually a selection from personal experience, history, a piece of art, and an event, place, or occurrence in our culture – and juxtapose them in every pairing until you reach your page count. It’s a very mechanical process, and my experience being taught it left me prone to resist this form. And yet I liked this collection well enough. Kisner is honest, most of her insights are well-articulated, and though there’s no humor in these essays (the form won’t allow it), she doesn’t fill that vacuum with pretension, as my classmates and I always did.

The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger (July 6-9)

There’s a party game called Humiliation, where you reveal that you've never actually encountered some huge culture monument, and you get points for each person at the party who has. For a long time (still, in fact), I could say I’ve never seen Titanic and scoop up a bunch of points. That was my go-to because I was too embarrassed to confess to an even bigger miss: I had never read The Catcher in the Rye. It’s a wonderful book, though. Very funny and very moving. What surprised me was how much I admired Holden Caulfield. I don’t just mean that I understood and accepted his adolescent angst. I actually think he’s a noble person. His anger may sometimes be misplaced and his sense of righteousness can be overly dogmatic, but those are habits that usually pass with age, and what will be left is the sensitivity, intelligence, and moral strength that’s plainly evident beneath his clumsy exterior.

American Splendor: The Life and Times of Harvey Pekar, Harvey Pekar, et al. (July 7-13)

Autobiographical comics by another admirable grouch. I had never read any American Splendor stories before, maybe because their multiple art styles (Pekar wrote the comics but had a variety of other artists draw them) seemed wearying to me. And truthfully, that quality still does nothing for me. But the writing is great. The stories vary in subject and length and presentation, but every one of them is closely observed and intelligent about the way people talk and act and think. The ordinariness of life (and of Cleveland) is rendered with extreme beauty. And Pekar himself is a great hero. Another noble crank who’s critical and passionate and full of fury, yet never unkind and never less than generous.

I’m Telling the Truth, but I’m Lying, Bassey Ikpi (July 10-13)

A pain-filled memoir, this one about bipolar disorder, disassociation, and the Challenger explosion. It’s mostly engaging, though there are parts in the back half where useful details seem to be missing and it becomes hard to follow. Given the subject matter, this may not be unintentional.

Crash Site, Nathan Cowdry (July 14-15)

Edgelord stuff run through several layers of irony. Lots of violence and provocative dialogue stacked up in such a way that it’s impossible to tell whom the author is trying to provoke: those who would take offensive or those who would deny the validity of being offended. I sort of see the point, and I didn’t hate the book. But at a certain point, you wish Cowdry would stop fooling around and just write a real story.

Amnesty, Aravind Adiga (July 16-19)

A young migrant worker in Sydney comes across a murder. If he reports it, he risks deportation, a fact that the murderer is all too happy to rub his nose in. It’s a good blend of a thriller and a social commentary. I also liked that fact that it was taking Australia and its cultural values to task. Not that I personally have anything against Australia, but it’s a country that you rarely see condemned, so I appreciated getting to reading a rare (and surely well-deserved) scolding.

Onion Skin, Edgar Camacho (July 17-18)

The story of a couple that runs a food truck and finds themselves in a turf war. It holds your attention while you’re reading it, but it’s a mess, jumping around in time and in tone. Plus, the relationship at its center is very tired: a mopey guy finds his life reinvigorated by a free-spirited girl. The food looked good, though.

Popcorn, Ben Elton (July 21-24)

A Hollywood satire written by a Brit, so it has that some of the stiffness and artificiality that can come in when writers try to cross the pond. But on the whole, it’s funny and astute about the industry. The ending overemphasizes its lessons, but I liked that Elton didn’t shy away from the mayhem he’d been teasing.

Brownsville, Neil Kleid & Jake Allen (July 22-23)

The familiar story of growing up in New York, being attracted to the mafia, and eventually joining it. The twist this time is that it’s the Jewish mafia. Interesting? Not really. That detail hardly changes anything, so the arc and most of the individual scenes in this book are rote in conception and in execution. Your favorite mafia story, whatever it is, will give you as much as this book and more.

My Man Jeeves, P.G. Wodehouse (July 29 - Aug. 1)

An early and unpolished collections of short stories. Given that Wodehouse later rewrote most of these pieces, the decent thing to do might have been to let this collection go out of print. Fewer laughs than Wodehouse usually provides, though there are still a couple of big ones, such as one character’s passing idea to make money by selling anarchists and other dispossessed people the opportunity to beat up his rich uncle.

Good Eggs, Rebecca Hardiman (Aug. 6-10)

A warm-hearted comedy about an Irish family. There’s the grandma who keeps making trouble, the rebellious teen with a soft, sentimental center, and the harried father caught in between the generations, trying to keep everything running smoothly. Eventually, they’re all put on the same side of the field when they have to take on an American who’s scammed them. It’s nothing remarkable, and I didn’t laugh too much – perhaps not at all – but sometimes it’s enough if a book features one element close to your heart. In my case, it was the suburban Dublin setting.

Kiss & Tell: A Romantic Resume, Ages 0 to 22, MariNaomi (Aug. 9-11)

A catalog of intimate relationships ranging from crushes to long-term relationships. To some degree, it’s all contextualized by its setting (the Bay Area in the 1980s and 90s), and by how the author views her relationships in comparison to that of her parents. But mostly, it’s just a list, and one that becomes quickly repetitive.

The Library Book, Susan Orlean (Aug. 11-14)

Possibly a perfect non-fiction book. In 1986, a fire broke out at the main branch of the Los Angeles Public Library, wiping out 20% of its collection. Orlean covers that disaster and it subsequent investigation, but she also makes room for the history of the LAPL, discourse on the function of libraries in America, personal reflections, academic theorizing, and science experiments (the chapter about her own attempt to burn a book is one of the best parts). The arson at the heart of this story is compelling enough to make this book good in anyone’s hands, but in Orlean's, it’s great.

I Don’t Expect Anyone to Believe Me, Juan Pablo Villalobos (Aug. 16-21)

Another fun mash-up. This time the blend is crime thriller, campus novel, and metafiction. Juan Pablo is a Mexican student who is abducted before leaving to study abroad in Spain, and ordered to get close to a corrupt politician by falling in love with his daughter. The plot is knowingly ridiculous and, though you eventually give up on trying to follow it, it’s amusing all the way through. There’s also a fun essay at the end, in which the translator explains his difficulty in capturing the voices of the different narrators, conceding with admirable frankness that he’s not sure he succeeded.

The Bridge, Peter J. Tomasi and Sara DuVall (Aug. 17-20)

The true story of the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge. If you don’t know it already, the fun detail is that the chief engineer became overworked in the middle of construction, and spent the rest of it monitoring the bridge’s construction from his bed while his wife took over as de facto leader at the job site. The standard details of how to build an enormous bridge are also fun to learn about, and the authors do a good job making you share in the stress of the workers deep below the water.

Woke Up This Morning, Michael Imperioli, Steve Schirripa, and Philip Lerman (Aug. 23-28)

An oral history of The Sopranos cobbled together from the podcast Imperioli and Schirripa started a few years ago. That show is endlessly discussable, and the book has a few funny stories and some thoughtful analysis, and it’s certainly better to read this book than to listen to the podcast (did I tell you I’ve declared a war on podcasts?), but I don't know…I found myself growing less and less interested the more I read. Once the initial fun of being a fly on the wall passed, I recalled that The Sopranos is strong enough to speak for itself.

Pauline Kael: A Life in the Dark, Brian Kellow (Aug. 30 - Sep. 4)

A thorough biography that features and contextualizes lots of excellent film reviews by Kael. It also reveals some of her astonishing lapses of ethics. In 1971, she published, “Raising Kane,” an essay about the authorship of Citizen Kane’s screenplay. It’s a terrific piece of writing, but it’s extremely shoddy journalism that has since been disproven. Even worse, much of her research was stolen from a UCLA professor, whom she never credited. It’s a shocking revelation and Kellow presents it without excuses. That chapter alone is worth the price of admission.

Love That Bunch, Aline Kominsky-Crumb (Sep. 2-5)

Autobiographical comics from one half of an underground comix power couple. A relationship that’s mostly been presented through her husband Robert Crumb’s eyes is shown here from Kominsky-Crumb’s perspective instead. But the thing is, they’re a very well-matched couple, so their perspectives aren’t all that different. And honestly, neither of their styles are terribly interesting to me, accomplished though they are. Still, you can admire Kominsky-Crumb’s pioneering efforts, and she and her husband and their unconventional family are pretty cute, no matter how repellant this book tries to make them seem.

Frankenstein, Mary Shelley (Sep. 6-10)

Another classic that I’m only just now getting around to. A hair less interesting than Dracula – the old-fashioned formality of the writing makes it a less ripping read – but still great. Dr. Frankenstein and his monster are both fascinating and complex, and the whole story is genuinely haunting and ambitious in scope. The framing device of the Arctic voyagers who witness the end of Frankenstein’s story seems impossibly contemporary. Considering how young Shelley was when she wrote something so good, hers may be the greatest accomplishment in the history of literature.

This is How I Disappear, Mirion Malle (Sep. 10-12)

Another mental health story. Because this one is done as a comic, not as prose, it can place us immediately into the shoes of its protagonist and let us feel her pain, which is a point in its favor. Working against it is the abundance of scenes, dialogue, and plot points driven by text messages and social media messaging. As always happens when those elements are spotlighted in a story, they dial the energy of the book down to nearly zero. (I'm not letting myself off the hook: I've tanked my own pieces that way.) That technology is an important part of our lives and our culture, and someday somebody will find a way to mill it into art, but it hasn’t happened yet.

The Plot Against America, Philip Roth (Sep. 11-17)

It had been nearly 15 years since I read anything by Roth. This was a good one to restart with. An alternate history of Roth’s childhood if the United States had elected Charles Lindbergh over FDR in 1940. The family drama and the political drama are equally engaging, and Roth even leans into the ridiculous fun of speculative fiction with a big, ludicrous twist in the last fifth of the book that guides everything to a satisfying resolution.

Loved and Lost, Jeffrey Brown (Sep. 14-18)

Three graphic novels covering three of Brown’s formative romances. Sincere, but sort of wimpy. I don’t want to cross a line and start critiquing anybody’s personal emotional repertoire – I’m just talking about what’s recorded on the page. The happy moments we see of his relationships are moments of quiet companionship. There’s almost nothing about adventures or inside jokes or mutual discoveries – the exuberant parts of a relationship. Quiet companionship is an important part of love too, and if that’s the pitch at which Brown lives his life, there’s nothing wrong with that, and he should record it accurately. But the pleasure of reading about it is faint.

Fame Adjacent, Sarah Skilton (Sep. 20-24)

A fun and original novel. The narrator is a former child actor, the only one from her troupe of singers and dancers not to become famous. The first part of the book has her in rehab for her internet addiction. The second part has her road-tripping to New York for a reunion with her castmates. It’s a lively book (a quality in short supply in too many novels), and I want to commend Skilton for pulling off a trick that’s harder than you might think: the fake TV show that she creates is credible. Often the fictional media contained within books (and TV shows and movies, for that matter) seems either implausible – we don’t believe a TV show so described would ever air – or like a poorly disguised version of an existing piece of media – distracting us as we look for the Easter eggs in this universe’s version of Seinfeld. But Skilton’s invention (Diego and the Lion’s Den) is totally believable, and its details are nicely fleshed out.

Seek You, Kristen Radtke (Sep. 21-25)

Another bit of brainy graphic essaying by Radtke. The subject is loneliness – Radke’s and America’s. Surrounding the personal reflections, there is a lot of well-synthesized research and bright analysis. And how about this for a good definition to carry with you: “Loneliness isn’t necessarily tied to whether you have a partner or a best friend or an aspirationally active social life. It’s a variance that rests in the space between the relationships you have and the relationships you want.” My only complaint is about a section where, talking of television sitcoms, she blurs the important distinction between canned laugh tracks and the laughter of live studio audiences – but that’s only a personal hang-up of mine.

All About Me!, Mel Brooks (Sep. 25 - Oct. 1)

A very happy memoir by a very happy guy. Lots of warm stories stretching from his childhood to his dotage, and some triumphant moments where he outwits boneheaded Hollywood executives. He’s justly proud of his own talents and achievements, but he spends more of the book heaping genuine, specific praise on other actors and writers he’s worked with. Tellingly, the only colleague who’s recollected with even the slightest negativity is Jerry Lewis…

Mary Wept Over the Feet of Jesus, Chester Brown (Oct. 1-3)

An illustrated collection of stories from the Bible that Brown believes evince a pro-sex work attitude in early Christianity. As somebody with almost no preexisting feelings about the Gospels, I’m an easy mark for any interpretation. Brown, who has spent the last 25 years visiting prostitutes, is not exactly a detached analyst here, but whatever his motivations for writing this book, his evaluation of the Bible’s text is convincing enough. The trouble for me was that, irrespective of their political meaning, I found the Gospel stories themselves distasteful and unkind.

Running with Scissors, Augusten Burroughs (Oct. 2-4)

The blurbs all compare him to David Sedaris, but that’s inapt. There’s nothing funny about Burroughs’ story, and the comparison seems to me like laziness, an inability to distinguish two very different types of memoir. With that pedantry out of the way: this is a good book. As a teenager, Burroughs is put in the care of his mother’s psychiatrist, a dangerous blowhard who keeps a filthy and miserable home. Burroughs witnesses and endures a lot of horrors over the course of five years, and though he’s never self-pitying nor seeking of praise, I did feel admiration for his escape and his ability to transmogrify his life into art.

Hollywood Said No!, Bob Odenkirk & David Cross with Brian Posehn (Oct. 6-8)

Two never-produced screenplays and other sundry material by some of the brains behind Mr. Show. Not their best work, but I smiled a lot while reading it. I did object, however, to their attacks on Jamie Kennedy, towards whom I feel an odd and misapplied sense of protectiveness.

The Road Through the Wall, Shirley Jackson (Oct. 8-14)

Jackson’s first novel, in which she exposes the ugliness, prejudice and misery beneath the surface of a privileged upper-class neighborhood. That’s pretty shopworn material these days, but remember: she did it in 1948. The novel is decent – I liked the scene where two teenagers seek a transgressive thrill but the best they find is a secret tea party with a butler – and the gruesome ending does still shock. But it’s weighed down by having too many indistinguishable characters.

Clyde Fans, Seth (Oct. 14-17)

A meticulously drawn book about a generational struggle to keep open a family business. The artwork is impressive, but I just can’t summon up any enthusiasm for this story and its themes: the agony of being a salesman, the inability of men of a certain generation to share their feelings, and more of that midcentury nostalgia I complained about earlier.

Ostrich, Matt Greene (Oct. 15-17)

A 12-year-old boy with brain tumor narrates an otherwise typical story of growing up (parents, friends, school, burgeoning sexual feelings). There are some clever and funny lines, but I grew less and less convinced I was hearing the honest voice of a child as opposed to the practiced remarks of a novelist.

Mr. Mercedes, Stephen King (Oct. 20-29)

A retired detective is taunted by a murderous psychopath and begins a private investigation to catch the killer. My hopes for this one weren’t quite met. The plotting is fine, and some tension builds well in the last act, but none of the characters feel like more than placeholders, and the gruesome details (particularly in the killer’s backstory) are nowhere near King’s best. Also, King’s efforts to write dialogue for a Black teenager result in some embarrassing lines that I won’t quote here.

The Only Story, Julian Barnes (Nov. 4-9)

I picked it up because it was about tennis, and discovered that Barnes was an author I should have been reading for years. A man recounts his “only story,” of being a college student home for the summer and falling in love with a middle-aged woman he’s partnered with for a game of doubles. The direction the story takes doesn’t matter. What I liked about the book was how intelligently and unpretentiously Barnes writes, and how deeply he digs into important questions. The book opens with, “Would you rather love the more, and suffer the more; or love the less, and suffer the less? That is, I think, finally, the only real question.” And before you have a chance to reflect on how well put that is, Barnes challenges himself: “You may point out—correctly—that it isn’t a real question. Because we don’t have the choice…if you can control it, then it isn’t love.” The array of thoughts those four sentences evoke would be accomplishment enough for most novelists, but it’s only the first of many treats Barnes offers.

Hummingbird Heart, Travis Dandro (Nov. 5-7)

The sequel to King of King Court, picking up on Dandro’s life as he hacks his way through his teen years. All of the praise-worthy qualities of the first book are present…but less so. The intelligence of the writing and the appeal of the drawing style are still there, but the subject is less interesting, more well-worn: shoplifting teenage boys learning to put aside their anger and face the fact that they must grow up. It’s done well, but only well, and Dandro's previous book set the bar higher.

Palimpsest, Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom (Nov. 9-12)

A very angry memoir of an adoptee seeking out her roots. The author directs anger at her adopted country, at her country of birth, at bureaucrats from all over, and at herself. All of which is well-earned, and the point that Sjöblom makes early on is that she wishes to counteract the rosy prevailing narrative of the experience of international adoptees. I would push back slightly by noting that Sjöblom sometimes seems to not just want to dismantle that narrative, but to replace it with one that’s equally overbroad – her own – not realizing that that would be just as limiting. But that minor quibble aside, this is worth reading.

Somebody’s Daughter, Ashley C. Ford (Nov. 12-16)

There’s a lot of trauma recounted in this memoir of growing up with an abusive mother and an incarcerated father, and Ford renders it all calmly and dispassionately, yet still with a keen memory of the pain she felt. If you can handle that sort of material, this book offers it about as well as it could be done. And Ford shares a few memories that stick with you long after the book is done, like a scene of her grandmother setting ablaze a nest of snakes.

The Third Person, Emma Grove (Nov. 16-20)

This one sneaks up on you, and soon, you’ll be flying through its 900 pages. Grove is a transgender woman visiting a therapist to be approved for hormone therapy. As the sessions progress and Toby the therapist learns more about Grove and her past, he begins to think that she may have Dissociative Identity Disorder, which he feels must be addressed prior to any other medical care. The drawing style is simple and flat, and much of the book is given over to repetitive scenes of therapy sessions, which may sound boring, but it’s actually very easy to become absorbed in their discussions. And the therapist isn’t just a prop to give Grove somebody to talk to; he’s a real character whom we see as clumsier and more unprofessional the longer the book goes on.

This Is Not My Beautiful Life, Victoria Fedden (Nov. 17-20)

While Fedden was pregnant and staying with her family in Florida, her parents’ house was raided by the feds. This memoir touches on her dysfunctional family, their legal travails, and the goofy (and, to my eyes, could-not-be-less-desirable) experience of living in Florida. The details of her family’s unique experiences give the book some early momentum, but the humor doesn’t progress beyond zaniness, and eventually, the book spins off in fragmentary, underexplored directions in an unsuccessful search for a point.

Just After Sunset, Stephen King (Nov. 24-30)

I broke my informal rule and read more than one Stephen King book in 2022. This one is a collection of stories, and it’s more successful than Mr. Mercedes. There are 13 stories, and at least nine of them work. Particularly good are “Stationary Bike,” one of those tales about a living painting; “The Gingerbread Girl,” about an obsessive runner; and N., an old-fashioned novella about a psychiatrist who takes on his patient’s obsession.

The Girl Who Never Read Noam Chomsky, Jana Casale (Dec. 1-8)

A highly internal novel about a Millennial in Boston who aspires to be a writer. No, don’t run away: this one is actually good. Leda, the protagonist, is seen in a number of quiet, precise vignettes, moving through college and her early 20s, trying to be a friend and a lover and a daughter and a romantic partner. I thought I’d had my fill of these stories (both from other books and from my own droning life), but I found room to let this one in. My interest waned in the last third, once the character grows up and we accelerate through her adulthood and old age, but up until then, it’s absorbing.

Fun, Paolo Bacilieri (Dec. 2-5)

A graphic novel about the history of the crossword puzzle, woven around a knowingly melodramatic mystery, all told in a vaguely meta style. It’s pretty busy, and though it delivers on the fun promised in the title while you’re reading it, it doesn’t stick with you.

Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman (Dec. 10-15)

A book my mom was recommending to everyone 25 years ago. An askew story of the Antichrist being swapped at birth and of the junky Armageddon that follows. It’s cute and funny, and though I get a little impatient with British whimsy these days, it's well-deployed here. The cast is so sprawling that it becomes a little unwieldy – this is probably an asset in its miniseries adaptation – but there aren’t any characters whose sections you dread.

With the Fire on High, Elizabeth Acevedo (Dec. 23-29)

The first young adult novel I had read in many years, about a high school senior with a talent for cooking who must learn to trust in and prioritize her own dreams. It had been a while since I read a book with a lesson, and shifting gears took some time. But once I did, I was happy to go along and cheer the main character’s triumph. I read most of this book on a six-hour train ride through California’s Central Valley, seated next to a man without a neutral odor, so its many descriptions of aromatic food were very welcome.

***

It was not my favorite year of reading, but curiously, I read more books in 2022 than in any other year since I’ve been keeping track. Maybe it was overextension that led to a less positive experience. Maybe my mood was brought down by two or three too many painful memoirs. Or maybe I should just internalize the lessons of Ted Heller and Jack Richardson, and accept that sometimes life deals you a bum hand. That can be true of a year or of a reading list.

But I did discover those two authors. And finally mark off Dracula, The Catcher in the Rye, and Frankenstein. And one Susan Orlean makes up for a hundred Brownsvilles. In order to maintain my enthusiasm for writing in the face of the constant beatings 2022 offered, I had to accept the old lesson about taking pleasure in the creative act itself and not being preoccupied about where the final product would lead me. That equanimous outlook is just as useful pointed towards the writing of others, remembering that, whatever the yearly average turns out to be, the pleasure of reading any one good book is never diminished.

[psychelis-new]

Hi, lys, i’m here again :)

I’d love to ask about two dreams that i had, if you don’t mind.

In the first dream, i was looking into the mirror i think and i was touching my hair, it looked very curly (my natural is coily but at the moment it doesn’t really have a pattern). It looked nice, in a way that when i woke up i said “i wish my hair looked like that!”. I was wondering if you knew what’s the spiritual message of hair in dreams because it’s not the first time that i’m looking into a mirror and my attention is being brought to my hair.

~

the second dream is something totally different. so basically i dreamt about a tea leaf card ( i don’t know if you are familiar with them but they’re used in readings), i turned it around and it had a month on it. so when i woke up i said to myself “this is just my subconscious doing subconscious things, it can’t have a deeper meaning” but then the same day a reader that i follow posted a reading titled “most important months of 2024 for you” so that obviously caught my attention and when i clicked on the third group, she mentioned the month i had dreamed about and what it would bring. the reading was positive, but the thing is that it’s not the first time i dream of a month/ season and then it arrives and nothing significant happens. also, i feel like every time i ask for clarification from my guides i don’t really get it so i find it weird that this time i had a dream and right after i was shown this reading. it just feel too /easy/, if you know what i mean. it feels weird lmao.

rather that just having an interpretation of this dream, i’d also love to know if you have had similar experience and how it things unfolded for you after that? :3

Hello! (Got the other ask as well, dw! I'm just too lazy to screenshot and add it lol, sorry)

Hair in dreams can have different meanings according on what you dowith them, how they look (short/long, curly/straight, soft/intricated... also the color) and how you feel. Seeing that usually you look at yourself in the mirror, could be that you're asked to do some self reflection over something that has happened, or maybe on repressed emotions of yours or... to acknowledge your self worth and express yourself, to let go of trying to fulfill others' desires and just be you, cause you can be that confident in you. Mostly I believe it's a sign of checking what is not working (emotionally, what is stressing/hurting) and nurture yourself.

Yeah I know of tea leaf cards. I don't use them but I have seen them being used! This is not really an interpretation you're asking for, but just an opinion Ig? :) Anyway imo when we dream of dates/months, it depends on what the dream is about. Sometimes, as when we see them in readings, they're not to be taken as per se (not to mention in pacs they may not be for us, but you know this better than me). I mean, at times there's a different meaning to them for us personally eg. December is the ending month of the year, could also mean an ending is approaching. It's also the month of Christmas (if it's related to your culture ofc) so maybe there may be a gift or you may be feeling more cozy during that time or spend more time with dear ones... Another thing to take into consideration is that we may also need to stay in a matching energy for that something to happen in that month/date. Again, depending on what it is about, we may go through trials or fallbacks in our healing path and the "something" may not happen at that specific time cause we have changed our energy (maybe when we dreamt of it, we were in another mental/emotional/energetic situation). Since dreams are very intimate and personal (we get downloads/infos strictly for us and from us), it doesn't mean it won't happen anymore and we lost our chance, it means it has been postponed to when we will be ready again. Especially if it's something that still matches our path. (Basically, as in readings, we do have the power to make our path anyway, and the dates we come across through it should not be taken as "expiring dates"). Other times, those dreams can be real predictions. Especially if you get more similarly-themed dreams, at least for what it concerns my personal experience. It's like they show you a path and support you until you take the right action and make it happen (trust your guts on this). This is my experience: on December 2022 I got some kind of confusing news and it gave me huge stress. I think... yes in January 2023 I got a dream in which I dreamt of a specific date (March 8th). I don't dream of dates very often so that kinda stood out but for the "wrong" matter: the dream was about a slightly stressing situation in my life (unrelated to the one I discovered in December) solving by chance (I waited but nothing happened about it on that date. Still...). In between February 2023 (I don't remember when exactly) I started having recurring dreams about a blonde woman helping me solve a situation. I got like 3 dreams in 4-5 close nights, two of them were on following nights. Everytime the issue I was having was different, but everytime it was a blonde woman coming to give me support and a solution. Long story short: a couple of days after the last dream or so, I decided to make a phone call and I got an appointment for March 8th (but I honestly had forgot about the first dream at that point: I remembered and connected the dots months after it was all done!). On that date a blonde woman literally helped me out and relieved my big stress. :) For how I see it, the situation I dreamt of in January was just a sample still pretty unclear in my unconscious, and all of the dreams were there from my Guides to suggest me: it'll be fine, dw. Just do what you know you have to do and can do.

I totally understand that you may feel a bit "weird" (that's not the word for the emotion I was searching but yeah, let's keep that). Try to stay positive but do not let the expectations do it all (at times we may wait so much for a date and get disappointed, especially if we have moved in the previous months just waiting for that date "to free us" or to just make it all better. Or for a specific event that wasn't the one supposed to happen anyway in the first place). And I mean not in a way "Do not believe it", but as in acknowledge it, be thankful, stay hopeful, but focus on you and on your path, on what you can actually do too to get there. I'm sure further infos will come for you, be patient. And remember not all the times things go the same way: this is exactly what ruins/blocks us in life too. We base ourselves on how things went in the past (especially if they went "bad/not as expected"), and so when things seem to repeat similarly, we don't trust them to go any differently. Not even if we're shown more proofs (but that's human: we're trying to defend ourselves from the pain of being let down once again -especially if we have been let down/abandoned a lot in life-. But maybe... we can try anyway? Maybe it's all about changing perspective, staying more open to the possibilities).

Best of lucks! Take care<3

[casspurrjoybell-32]

Runaway Wolf - Chapter 8a

*Warning Adult Content*

Kyle Parker

Shadows were everywhere... I couldn’t make out anything.

It was dark and cold... there was a weird thing in my head that constantly howled and whined.

The air was stale and suffocating with different obnoxious smells all around me.

I felt like I was trying to reach for something that was too far out of range.

A scratching inside that made me want to lose my mind.

It was like... I was never alone and always wanting something I didn’t know what?

Suddenly I was consumed by light that blinded me sending shots of pain through my eyes.

I was breathless and running.

The solid feel of something underneath my feet till there was nothing there but air.

********

Gasping I shot up in the couch grabbing at the back of it.

Sweat was dripping down my face as I tried to catch my breath.

A whine made me look over to see the wolf lying beside me on the couch.

He was watching me with concern.

I dug my hand in his soft fur, needing some sort of reassurance.

Whimpering he scooted closer and rubbed his face against my face as if to calm me down.

Sighing, I look over at the clock to see it was 12:00 noon and the apartment was quiet.

I knew that Levi wasn’t here.

It might sound strange but I had this strong sense when he was around or not.

I threw the blanket off me and placed my feet on the ground but made no move to stand just rested my head in my hands, rubbing them through my hair roughly.

My head was throbbing painfully like it usually does when I have those types of dreams.

They’re never clear so they always leave me confused and frustrated.

Glancing up I noticed a white paper on the table in front of me.

Reaching over, I picked it up.

Kyle,

I’ve gone out with Matthew. The mail man should be there around 12:00 noon to deliver your information for you. Just sign your name. I’ll be home in a few hours.

Levi

Just then there was a knock causing both me and the wolf to snap our heads towards the door.

Slowly I stood, walking with hesitant steps.

For some weird reason I lifted my nose to sniff the air and knew that whoever was behind it I didn’t know.

They knocked again.

“Hello. I have a package for Mr. Levi Blackman,” with that I opened it to see a man in tan shirt and shorts with a clipboard and big yellow folder.

“Yeah. He’s not here right now but he told me to sign something.”

The guy just nodded and handed the clipboard over.

“Sign here sir.”

I did, then he handed me the package and left.

“Have a nice day.”

“Yeah, thanks,” I mumbled staring down at the bulging package in my hands.

This was it, where I can learn about myself, know who I really am.

My mind was racing at a pace I couldn’t even explain.

If I opened this how drastically would my ignorant world change?

Would I remember or just know a whole bunch of things about the stranger that is me?

I swallowed and quickly threw the envelope on the table and rushed towards Levi’s bedroom.

It can wait a little while longer.

I went straight for the shower and turned the water to a medium heat.

Sheading all my clothes I stepped in just noticing the wolf laying in the door way, his head on his paws and his eyes closed.

Slowly I slid down so I sat in the tub, the jet of water hitting me in a soothing manner as I stared at the animal.

“I should give you a name if you’re just going to follow me around all the time,” I voiced causing him to lift and cock his head at me.

“How about, Bill?” I joked but I got a disapproving growl from him.

I chuckled resting my head against the wall.

“Alright... um... lets see… Jamie?”

He huffed.

“Okay, no Jamie then. What about falcon?”

I smiled at him watching him from the corner of my eyes and saw him move his head away from me with dislike.

“Oh come on... That one was a cool one,” I laughed but he made no move.

“Bandit.”

Nothing.

At this point I was laughing hard at his pickiness.

“Lakota?” suddenly came out of my mouth, without much thought and his head shot up, his tail thumped wildly against the floor boards. I frowned at him and myself.

“Lakota, it is then.” 

I dried off wrapping the towel around my waist.

I walked towards Levi’s closet going through a bunch of shirts till I found one that fit.

Then to the dresser he told me was his ‘boyfriends’ and snatched a pair of jeans much to my displeasure.

I donned on the clothes but froze right when I was leaving the room.

I was being pulled back in, towards the bed, something was calling me to it and I couldn’t stop myself from knelling over the bed, taking the sheets in my hands and hesitantly bringing them up to my nose.

I took a deep breath and my head began to swim with emotions I never felt before.

A longing to be closer to and consume, MATE with.

The sent reminded me of the sweet smell of apples and pine, so fresh and intoxicating.

It devoured all my sense till all I could do was fall forward and lay enveloped in the majesty of it all completely immobilized.

A breathy moan left my lips as I twisted and turned in the sheets.

My skin was tingly all over, I felt like I was floating in a peace of heaven.

I just wanted to smother it all over me.

My thoughts were thrust back to last night, how I had the owner of this delicious scent under me, his body pressed against mine sending mine in a frenzy of hunger and need but yesterday I wasn’t hit this hard with his scent.

Suddenly I wanted him here so I could get the full extent.

Feel his lips upon mine, the solid feel of his lean body again.

I bunched his pillow and comforter in my arms and inhaled once more enjoying the seductive high it gave me.

My body was hard and needy for release and my bottom and top canines were throbbing painfully.

I slid off the bed reluctantly, fixing the mess and hurried from the room Lakota behind me.

I glanced at the yellow package as I shoved my shoes on but I shook my head and opened the door letting the wolf out locking and closed it behind me.

I needed air and so did Lakota.

[destinygoldenstar]

The Spitfire Twins Are Growing Up

Toddler-hood is done for these two spitfire twins. Our two aggressive angry twins.

Happy birthday you two!!

Ruby is the heir, so of course her first trait is hot headed. It’s the only one of the three available for kids. And you know what? Makes perfect sense for her anyway as our feisty practical queen. And she’s a Social Butterfly because the heir skill needed is Charisma. And this might help. I usually ignore the child aspirations, but this is an exception.

And Kian… at random, is ALSO a hot head. Wow.

Yeah, this is why I call them the Spitfire Twins. Later in, I’m definitely making their traits different. But I’m fine with this cause it makes sense for them both.

They BOTH have significant anger problems and have AWFUL emotional control. (If one of these twins die, I’m gonna be so upset. I hope I didn’t jinx anything.)

This is Ruby and Kian.

Ruby is a deep regal crimson red. Kian is a bright fiery red.

Ruby loves the color red. Kian loves red and orange. They both love affection, arguing and complaining. And discussing their interests. In Rubys case, debating and fairy tales. In Kians case, music. Ruby loves stories, specifically love related stories full of shipping content. It’s also a trait she inherited from her father being a famous writer. Kian loves music, energetic and rock music in particular. He loves singing and dancing.

Personality wise, they’re both hot heads. They both have anger problems and actually bond through bickering. It’s their way of communicating.

Ruby (the heir) is the more practical of the two. She’s a feisty stubborn young girl who works for what she wants. She has glasses, she wore them since she was an infant, she can sometimes be wild with her brother when she wants to, and she’s a bit of a glutton, and a messy one at that. It’s not ‘fitting for an attractive lady’, and she wants to hide these parts of her. Doesn’t know how yet in childhood. She grew up in a successful family of her mother being a genius scientist and her father being a famous author. She heavily looked up to them due to this, and she was around to witness the proposal of her parents, and their wedding, seeing ‘the ideal life’. Ideal life involving people changing the world positively, and finding the perfect love interest to ‘get married and live happily ever after’. It’s shown as the ultimate perfect outcome in her life, and the bedtime stories her father read to her. So therefore she must have a life like that as well.

(But due to gen rules: None of her dates are that perfect love interest)

She’s very upfront and blunt. Intelligent-wise and emotional-wise. She also has a sailor mouth cause why is a nine year old swearing so much already?! (That’s how you know she’s Peppers kid) She cares a lot about her own image. And she’s a determined girl who values the perfection of her own life and those around her.

She also has a hard time understanding the phrase “I love you”

She thinks that’s only a romantic thing to say. That people who say it mean it to their romantic partners only. That romance love is the only form of ‘love’. Maybe she’ll learn that it’s not, and embrace family love, especially for her twin brother. Who knows?

Kian is a wild kid with wild dreams. Like his twin sister, he has anger issues, and aggression problems. But he openly has a sunny side, and is far more naturally social in platonic sense. He’s almost always full of energy and isn’t afraid to show it, be reckless, and be weird. He’s also full of pride in himself, and doesn’t like to admit when he’s kind of a meat head. He’s very protective of people he cares about. He loves his sister, (even if as a toddler, he took too much influence from the cat and showed that love by biting), and will fight people who hurt her. Or disrespect his parents in any way. He will be nice. Very nice. You can bully him all you want if you want. But if you do anything mean to his sister, or his friends, he WILL FIGHT YOU. He’s also more loose in his dreams than his sister. He is a HUGE music guy. Maybe a music nerd? And is so devoted to trying to come up with music of his own. Especially rock music. It might turn into his own career one day.

They also both love cats. They adore their cat guardian, Bubbles.

These twins, despite their issues, despite them loving to bicker and fight, love each other more than they can put into words.

Rose Gen is gonna be wild with these two. I just know it.

[silvermistcosmos]

good luck with your new work then!! keep me updated on how you’re keeping up with it♥️ rooting for you bub!!

you make me wish i got home-schooled too because working at your own pace and sleeping in</3 the dream honestly,,, i’ve studied my entire life in private school and let me tell you that stuff is kinda crazy there too lol, but i made a lot of friends that i still talk to nowadays so i think that’s the only cool part about all of this.

yes khh and kr&b are some of my favorite genres along with k-indie <33 so !! yes, def give those genres a try.

JAY💔 park jongseong my beloved, he’s so attractive and talented and lovable and</333 i get it what you’re saying. we love jay in this house

ohhh when i first started with kpop my first group was bts too hekwsi jungkook used to be my ult but i just listen casually to them now, they’re still very dear to me<3 oh and i’ve heard songs from dkb! i saw them debuting so ik they’re really talented ♡ AND !!! OMG YOURE A FIX??? the taste‼️ it’s so weird to me whenever i find a fix because my cix boys are so underrated 😭😭 who’s your bias??? i also realized that i stan almost all of the groups you stan!! we love multis in this house🤍

HELPP HELWJA TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE</3 jake has been bias wrecking me soooo much lately like,,,, he has something going on that makes all of us fall for his charm😓 and niki and his blonde long hair looks so pretty omg</33

about the spotify!! i promise i’ll share it with you after i post my drabble for you because,,, what if you discover who i am before i get to “unmask” myself??:p

(talking about the drabble,,, is there a certain genre you would prefer?👀 or a certain enha member???)

—🐰

I feel like being homeschooled though, there's usually a lot more pressure with grades and going to college and being this very very book smart, know everything kind of person. OR it's very possibe I'm just stereotyping because a lot of the families I know that are homeschooled are huge on that sort of thing, but I also know there are tons of public schoolers that go through that as well. But it is really nice to be able to do things in the middle of the day like going out and taking breaks and stuff like that. I sometimes wonder what it's like in school and how I would manage.

yesss, i mostly listen casually to bts now, but I honestly think it would be so nostalgic to go to one of their concerts because oh my gosh, a few of their songs have A PLACE IN MY HEART FRFR! ALSOOOo, I wouldn't call myself a fix, YET! I want to be! I just haven't gotten to know the members yet, but I really love their music! any song recommendations or videos to help me get more into the group? ahhh similar music tastes, I LIKEY!!!

NO CAUSE JAKE IS SUCH A FLIRT, OH MY GOODNESS, HOW CAN YOU NOT BE BIAS WRECKED BY HIM?! IT;S LIKE HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO AHH and OKAY NIKI WITH HIS HAIR RIGHT NOW IS 👌🏻 I THINK THIS IS HIS BEST LOOK! okay! im fangirling hard right now help!

okies! that sounds good! i totally understand the wanting to stay anonymous. I'm also staying anonymous for now with the person im writing my drabble for. it's more exciting that way i feel like.

(ok ok, fluff and humor are always my go to, but some good angst to make me cry is always good too so whatever you feel most comfortable with. do you want to make me cry is the real question. if so, you're providing the tissues.)

[survey--s]

463.

by brelee

Do you know what the most common bird is in your area? Seagulls, blackbirds, robins, sparrows.

What last made you feel ecstatic? When I realised next week was half-term so it’ll be quiet plus I have a full weekend off next week too lol.

What would make you feel happiest right now? Uhh, nothing really? I have to leave to feed Monty and Charley in half an hour so I’m just killing time until then.

How many teeth have you had extracted? Just two - both my upper wisdom teeth. My bottom ones need doing too but because of how impacted they are I’ll need surgery so my dentist just said to leave them unless they start causing me any bother.

Do you ever read magazines? Not anymore, no.

What is something you've been reflecting on? I have a new dog starting with me next week - which is fine but he used to go with another walker, they’ve just stopped her because he keeps coming back injured and I feel like it’s going to be really awkward when I start posting him on my page, lol.

What's something you like and dislike about the town you live in? I love the location - we’re right by the sea and we have so many amazing walks and views within ten minutes of the house. But I dislike how isolated we are - we have no chains or fast food places, or even a cinema.

What's a Halloween movie that you enjoy? The Addams Family.

Would you say you're more confident now than you were 5 years ago? Yes, most definitely. My life is SO much better nowadays.

Have you ever or would you try carrot bacon? I assume that’s some weird veggie bacon? I’d probably try it but I wouldn’t expect to like it or anything lol.

What's the last thing you purchased that was frozen? Chicken nuggets.

Would you ever walk a runway if given the opportunity? If I was being paid, sure.

When did you last do something that scared you? I had to cancel two days of work at the beginning of the week as I had a really awful virus and I felt SO bad messaging people. Everyone was so nice about it but I was still shitting myself hah.

What is something that you're curious about? Why criminals/serial killers do the things they do.

What time do you usually eat breakfast? About 30 minutes after I get up, which could be anytime between half seven and half ten depending on the day of the week.

What is something you done as a child that you would never do now? Call a teacher “mum”.

What's been your favorite memory of 2022? Galloping down the beach in the September sunshine.

When were you last inside a tall building? Uhh, years ago probably.

Is it currently quiet in the room you're in? No - the TV is on and Archie and Purrlock are both snoring.

Is there someone you can honestly say you hate or have hated? No.

What's currently on your mind? I gotta pee.

Would you consider yourself to be a messy person? No - I’m the total opposite as a rule.

Would those closest to you say you talk too much or not much at all? Not much at all.

Do you have a song you cannot listen to anymore due to a bad memory? Nope.

Have you ever had a candlelit dinner? Yeah, they’re pretty overrated IMO.

Do you need to apologize for something or are you waiting on an apology? Nope, neither of those apply to me right now. What's something you strongly believe in? Religion is dangerous and does more bad than good.

Do you have a dream that is close to being accomplished? Hmm, not close exactly, but it’s definitely something I’m working towards.

Would you say you're in a good place mentally? Yeah, absolutely. My mental health has improved SO much over the last few years. When did you first start feeling more grown up? When I moved out and went off to university.

What kind of chapstick do you use? Vaseline or Burts Bees.

How many pillows do you prefer to sleep with? Lately two regular pillows and like, a small cushion on top.

What is something you've kept bottled up for a long time that you now have released? Nothing comes to mind.

Have you ever broken a cell phone charger? I feel like I’m always breaking phone chargers lol.

[baddiedaddy7]

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜🦄💜

do not plagiarize. all of this is my work.

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

dreamy. big on makeup, enhancing your looks. eyes are usually round/almond. the best feature of their face are their eyes. so many gorgeous girl celebs have this. has a dreamy look, but may also look like a fish tbh lmao. sympathizes w/strangers. usually tender hearted manners, and lovely vibe. shy/reserved. you’re like a sponge. if someone is being bitchy, chances are you will be too. keeps personal life on the down low. can be unrealistic.

celebrities:Kylie Jenner, Marilyn Monroe, Jim Carrey, Denzel Washington

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

voice is probably chill, or has a soft vibe to it. voice may also be naturally low. remember it’s nice to be generous, but not too generous. don’t just give your money away easily, or to just anybody. make sure the money, or possessions you give away are put to good use. don’t be naive w/your money/possessions. the clothes you buy are probably creative/artsy or discreet/low key. focus on loving yourself. seafood lover or hater lol. might like “weird” foods. indulgent.

celebrities:Jennifer Aniston, Tina Turner, Muhammad Ali, Dwayne Johnson

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

thinks unconventionally. you may lack communication w/siblings. may be great at poetry, writing in general. writing is probably unique, and beautiful. may love the beach or lakes, traveling to places with water lol. siblings may have pisces/neptune influence in their chart. the reserved student. might have a soft spot for math, english, or art classes. visionary.

celebrities:Madonna, Dua Lipa, Keanu Reeves, Ryan Reynolds

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

parents may have been absent, or neglectful. parents may have also been addicted to substances(alcohol, drugs, even food, etc). parents may have sheltered you from certain things, that you had to learn a different way(puberty, sex in general, etc) might’ve been raised by other ppl than their bio parents, but if it’s positive, parents may have taught you to be creative, and sweet. this indicates the childhood house being near water or wanting it to be, or even being aesthetic lol. may have love fantasy growing up, fantasy movies/shows, mystical creatures, etc. childhood memories may be foggy. you’re distinctive/stand out, but you may also be over-sensitive.

celebrities:Emma Watson, Jessica Alba, Johnny Depp, Robert De Niro

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

may have “pisces” traits in the dating world(wears rose tinted glasses, loving, naive, selfless, etc). try not to put your partner on a pedestal too high, cause then you might be disappointed. you may get too caught up in the moment, so birth control may be your best friend. i’ve heard of ppl w/this placement that had unexpected pregnancies. your hobbies range from painting, singing, inventing, sleeping, binge-watching, daydreaming, hanging out, astrology, and if on the bad side drugs/alcohol. children may have pisces/neptune influence in chart. very artistic ppl.

celebrities:Angelina Jolie,Cameron Diaz, Drake, Elon Musk

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

don’t stress so easily. when stressed, letting your creativity may help how you feel, or just letting it all out(crying, writing in a diary, etc). sleeping probably even helps your stress lmao. may be a vegan/vegetarian since they adore animals sm. neptune rules pisces which is represented by fish, so a fish may be an ideal pet. if not then a cat, as cats are mysterious. may not prioritize their health. may love junk food. likes being an helping hand, so may put themselves out there to help certain organizations, ppl, etc. i feel like these ppl probably shower/bath more than once a day. you’re very considerate.

celebrities:Selena Gomez, Drew Barrymore, Will Smith, John Lennon

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

attracts ppl with pisces/neptune in chart, platonic and/or romantic. enemies also tend to have pisces/neptune energy. ppl you attract may be cheaters/liars, so watch out. they may also be really romantic or obsessive/delusional. you may attract damaged souls, that may end up trying to put their damage on you. make sure to set limits in love. but on the bright side, you may attract ppl w/positive pisces traits(dreamy, selfless, good listener, etc). senseless in love. believes in fairytales. you’re gregarious.

celebrities:Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Denise Richards, Ashton Kutcher

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

prefers to fuck ppl they have a connection with. may like to have sex in water(showers, bath, jacuzzi, etc)or near it(beach,lake, etc). sex can take you away from the real world. emotions are powerful. got some psychic shit going on😂. dreams are usually in depth, and interesting. might hide vulnerable side. death may be bc of drugs, alcohol, etc. also you may drown, die in water in general or die in your sleep. death may also be mysterious(going missing, not knowing the cause of death, etc). may be moody.

celebrities:Whitney Houston, Demi Moore, Michael Jackson, George Clooney

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

flexible mind. may go to college for drama, artsy jobs, etc. probably believes in religious miracles. probably loves traveling to places with water, so an island is your best bet/not a landlocked country. may be fascinated w/other cultures. in laws may have pisces traits(positive:loving, good listeners, considerate negative:manipulative/backstabbing, liars, addicted to substances, etc). try not to accidentally join a cult lmao.

celebrities:Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Heath Ledger, Jimi Hendrix

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

(i’m gonna say “we” cause this is my placement☺️)

if you’re famous, fans will fantasize abt you/crush on you. will have a career where they can express themselves(acting, singing, painting, etc), water related(marines, scuda diver, etc) or one that helps ppl since neptune is selfless(mental health, hospital, paramedic, humanitarian, etc). we can’t decide what we want to do in the future 😂, might even have multiple jobs. we may be known as romantic, sweet/loving, selfless, naive and other pisces traits. we’re usually so creative, and charming that ppl copy off of us(ik that’s said a lot but it’s true), we’re 💫inspiring💫. on the bad side, our reputation can be messed with since ppl make rumors abt us, and neptune rules illusion. good at coming up w/ideas, and inventions. resourceful, but can be off track.

celebrities:Christina Aguilera, Kourtney Kardashian, Matt Damon, Bruno Mars

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

friends may have neptune/pisces influence. friends are usually toxic. also attracts damaged friends. watch out for who you hang out with/don’t put all your trust into certain ppl. friendship is very important to these ppl, and they’re usually the advice giving friend, or just the one that’s laid back tbh. a lot of your “friends” tend to be 🐍. usually shy as a child, but comes out of shell as they get older. ppl that may crush on you may have pisces/neptune influence often. altruistic, but strange.

celebrities:Zooey Deschanel, Christy Turlington, Zayn Malik, Brad Pitt

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

sleeps often. follow your gut feelings. usually empaths. stay away from addictive things. not confident. doesn’t express their feelings. focus on loving yourself, it’s okay to take time for yourself. clairvoyant. you’re a dreamer. enemies take advantage of your/pray on your weakness, are manipulative, and you may also feed of off each other’s toxic energy. enemies may have pisces/neptune in chart. you happen to be self-contained/shy.

celebrities:Megan Fox, Winona Ryder, Bradley Cooper, Prince

[gabessquishytum]

Yan Anon reporting in~

These are all just *chef’s kiss X2* perfect.

“yeah so i'm also obsessed with unhinged dream so if i may just uhh throw my own kinks into the pile (nonny if this inspired you i will be thrilled if not i'm still also hoping you wind up writing this fic because. omg.) but uh. dream giving hob a pussy, wrecking it, and then immediately adding some nice chastity piercings?” -🐈‍⬛

🐈‍⬛Hello! It has indeed inspired me, my gosh, you have no idea. I was thinking how Dream could torment Hob with the piercings and this is just inspired. And Dream being absolutely mean, making Hob beg for his release- my nose is starting to gush blood. I imagine Dream on a comfy armchair, sitting there with an uncharacteristically manic grin and flushed face, while Hob has to slowly crawl his way over and plead with whines and whimpers, and in his head he’s thinking, “Master please, I’ve been good, so good. I need your cock inside my pussy please. pleaseletmecum” All the while spreading his legs and pussy, just presenting himself to tempt Dream. WHEW. I just can’t explain it, Yandere Dream is just so hot to me, and I want him to be as possessive and as fucked up as possible.

“oh my GOD yes please like. dream eventually lets hob go and he feels awful and guilty about the whole thing and it hurts to let hob go but he does, he tweaks enough people's memories to just think that hob was away on sabbatical and it's fine, he can drop back into his old life.”

I hope I’m right in thinking this is the same anon XD‍‍ I was kind of torn on which ending I would like to happen, one where Hob gets mindbroken to the point where he stays in the Dreaming permanently(which is a bit too dark and urgh than I’d like) or one where Dream comes to his senses and lets him go, but this is perfect. Hob willingly and consensually offers himself to Dream and he’s not so far gone where he’s just a broken mindless pet. I LOVE IT. It’s hilarious to think that Dream would be the speechless one for once XD

Oh btw, here's what I was thinking about how this all started. Hob POV, Dream and Hob had their meeting in the New Inn, and everything’s wonderful cause Hob finally knows what to call his stranger AND Dream agrees to more than one meeting a century, a miracle! So they start meeting once every few months, then once a month, and so on and so on, until Hob realizes that they’re meeting multiple times a week now. Not that he’s complaining, he’s ecstatic really, even if Dream is exhibiting some weird tendencies/behaviors/habits.

Staring/Stalking - Hob notices that Dream likes to stare, at him specifically now that he’s thinking about it, there’s a kind of darkness in his friend’s eyes that’s a bit unnerving, but he’s probably just imagining it. He’s just happy to have his friend around, but definitely not the big-ass raven that seems to be stalking his every move. There’s also the constant feeling of being watched whenever he’s alone or in public but maybe he’s just being paranoid.

Touching – They were fleeting touches at first like handshakes, and shoulders bumping, but now they’ve upgraded to handholding(context to follow XD) and actual hugs! Hugs that Hob swears linger just a tad too long to be considered normal, and did his hand kind of graze his ass? Ah who cares, Dream is finally being friendly and with honest-to-goodness smiles now.

People – People who have shown or expressed the tiniest bit of interest in Hob are now avoiding him like the plague. The regular customer that flirted with Hob yesterday at the inn is never seen again, the student that sent him a love letter has now dropped out of his class, and the friendly neighbor that usually gives him baked goods practically kissed the hallway trying to get to their apartment around him.

Dreams – Okay so I’m not so sure what to do here, Hob knows to an extent that Dream has dream-related powers, cause Dream gave him some vague bs answer like usual XD There’s gonna be mind-blowing wet dreams about Morpheus obviously, but maybe Hob doesn’t suspect Dream at first, perhaps he thinks it’s his desires manifesting into the hottest dream sex he has ever had, nearly every night, started almost the same time as when Dream reappeared in his life. Right Hob, right. Hob is gonna act more awkward cause of the dreams but I’m still thinking about whether there’s gonna be any physiological effects like increased horniness.

Then I was thinking of an incident that pushes Dream over the edge, perhaps someone flirting aggressively with Hob or Hob gets into an accident of some kind. Then boom, goodbye waking world.

A bit long I know hahahaha but all thoughts and criticisms are welcome here~

-Love, Yan Anon <3

Yan Anon, you are INCREDIBLE. I am so obsessed with this crazy yandere Dream who is totally obsessed and fixated on Hob!!! Somehow it's made even better by the fact that Hob is "just a human" so why is Dream so completely insane about him? Nobody understands!!! I love the idea of him using every spare moment to check in on Hob (either spend time with him or just... watch from afar), it's like his hobby at this point (there's a pun in there somewhere).

I also think Hob would be weirdly into it? Because he craves Dream’s attention, he wants to be Dream’s special pet... he even gets jealous if Dream happens to spend time with someone else because he’s come to expect that he’s Dream’s favourite. Just these two being weird and toxically attached to each other pleeease. Hob flirting with someone bc he knows Dream will go off the rails with jealousy and sweep him off to the dreaming to spank his pussy? Yeah. Yeeeeah <3