#like they were never allowed to connect and heal with their inner child

[that-binchh]

you’re 100% right. i clocked that shit in s2/s3 when they placed allison, a newly mute black woman, in the jim crow south and when they removed her from it, they barely mentioned it. (can we also talk about the double standards fandom has when it comes to allison wanting ray back vs klaus wanting dave back)

OMG and lila, poor lila, basically became a manic pixie dream girl. like i feel like they should have really dug into the horrors of being a brown girl who finds out your adoptive white mother who groomed you into an assassin actually was responsive for your birth parents death. like are you fucking kidding me???

diego deserves so much more. like s1 and s4 diego are too different people. he had so much depth to him. out of all the siblings, he really loved the idea of having a family. like he had the deepest connection to grace; it make so much sense that he would put his all into being a good parent when her love was life changing for him. but they don’t do that??? instead they make fat jokes about him and make him a failure dad/partner. which i feel like there’s smth to be said about portraying a latino man as only being useful when he’s super macho

and ben. ben, ben, ben. im so upset that he never got to have his own personality. like yeah we all had our headcanons about him post s1, but most of those revolved around him being the quiet supportive unproblematic sibling (which once again painting the only asian man as submissive… is a choice…). and this isn’t me fully coming for fandom bc really the writers did nothing for his character. he’s only there for the others development (which even that is questionable bc development where??) and when it’s not that, he doesn’t really matter

ok this has been needling my mind since i finished this awful season and i wanna say it:

THEY DO THE POC CHARACTERS EXTREMELY DIRTY

why is diego treated like a joke? it was the constant fat jokes and talking at him like he was stupid for me. this dude has been through it just like every other character, and still managed to make a home in this world without powers better than most of them. he worked a job he hated to provide for wife and kids, learned PUNJABI to speak to his in laws, and works hard to protect his family. what’s funny about that?

what’s with the weird energy surrounding allison’s storyline? it was better this season ONLY bc of Klaus. Whenever they let Allison stand on her own and try and grow as a character independently of her family, she turns into some sort of villainous character. it’s weird af… and i’m sorry, ray walked out on her? the dude so in love with his wife that he literally helped stop the end of the world for her even at the cost of his own life? ok! cool great.

what does lila want? they tried to push on us this season that she was some self actualized, well adjusted person. but a well adjusted person wouldn’t cheat on her husband. all she wanted was a family, but when given the chance, the writers had her outside doing everything BUT sticking by her new family. you know what i call that? BAD WRITING. they didn’t handle her story with care at ALL

why doesn’t ben have a character arc? he wasn’t an antagonist, or a protagonist. he damn near didn’t even feel like a part of the family. the siblings have always had an emotional tie to the end of the world, but the hargreeves connection with ben felt superficial at best, nonexistent at worst. why even make Ben the center of the season if it was never gonna be about HIM?!

i feel like i’m being gaslit. i know the other non POC characters have issues, but these four in particular hurt my heart. cause the show uses their racial identities and ethnicities when it’s useful, and then toss the characters themselves away like trash and i’m fucking sick of it.

[leth-writes]

Aemond Targaryen x Servant! Reader

You started working in the castle as a young child, apprenticing under your parent until you proved yourself capable of the basic tasks required of you

You slowly worked your way up the ranks by sticking to yourself, unwilling to interact with the various inhabitants of the castle unless absolutely necessary.

Finally, you were assigned at the tender age of 11 to work within Aemond’s chambers, cleaning and replacing the sheets whenever necessary and putting the laundry away.

As a result, you’re there in the early days after his injury

The first thing he sees when he wakes up the morning after, eye blearily peeling open, is you. You’re blurry and fuzzy in his vision, haloed by the sun streaming from the window you’re standing in front of. He thinks you look like an angel.

From that moment on, the world tilts on its axis for him.

The seven have given him an angel, and he won’t give that blessing up.

Not only did he gain a dragon, he gained an angel as well; more than worth it to give up an eye.

He sits up groggily, and you rush to his side

“My prince, please don’t exert yourself! The maesters said you needed rest…” 

He asks your name, and you reluctantly give it to him. You’ve survived due to a strict policy of not interacting with the royalty, but unfortunately that won’t last much longer

Alicent ends up begging you just to sit in the room, talking to Aemond, as he heals. Unable to refuse, you do so.

He begs you to talk to him, tell him about yourself, say anything.

You find yourself just… talking. Talking about your day, funny things you’ve seen some of the court’s visitors say, the worst mess you’ve ever had to clean up. To most it may not be the most interesting topic of discussion, but Aemond can’t get enough.

Growing up, Aemond is always requesting your presence. Sometimes, he’ll make a problem just to have you solve it.

When he’s freshly 16, and you’re 17, he first asks you about your love life. You tell him about a local boy you have a crush on. The anger that washes over him almost scares him; never has he felt an anger so fierce and heady.

Telling him was a mistake. You never see the boy again. 

Alicent is wary of allowing him to connect with you, but ultimately sees how you stoke his inner fire just by existing; to survive the politics of the court, he’ll need that fierceness, so she uses you like a motivator

Alicent uses you to get him to perform activities she needs him to do. Smoothing over the relationship between the Greens and a distant, undecided lord, just to earn an afternoon alone with you in his room, talking for hours.

You quickly learn not to look at other men. You need to dedicate yourself entirely to him to at least save the local population from his wrath.

As adults, he’s determined to keep you by his side. You practically live in his room from all the time you spend in there.

All of your duties revolve around him; cleaning his room, putting away his laundry, changing the sheets… Just don’t be caught talking to the male servants, or they may end up on the wrong side of Vhagar. 

Speaking of Vhagar, she’s incredibly protective of you. She’d burn anyone who even attempted to get too close to you.

He takes you on Vhagar all the time. It’s some of his most precious memories; your arms clutching around his waist for dear life, your face buried into his neck as you rely on him to keep you safe.

Let me know if anyone wants more!

[kalki-tarot]

WHAT'S THEIR PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE ? 🗝

pick only one picture that resonates the most with you. allow yourself to have an open mind and please only take what resonates as it's a general reading. this reading is only for entertainment purposes and is not 100% correct.

Allow me to tap into your energy, please.

Pile 1

the lovers, 9 of swords, 10 of wands, Temperance

For some of you this could be a love interest, and they are here to teach you the meaning of true & unconditional love. They are here to trigger healing in you, you may feel anxious or your past is suddenly triggered when you talk to this person. They are here for your spiritual growth. Love is Godliness, a feeling closest to god.

You may be twinflames because they trigger each other to heal. You may also be scared of love because it feels new to you, maybe you never received enough love from others and this made you feel bad about yourself. They are here to help you love yourself. It's their purpose to teach you love by triggering unhealed traumas.

You carry lots of baggages, even from your past life. They will help you live freely by releasing all of that and heal your inner child who feels like a burden, but is not. Even though I'm seeing that healing yourself will be a very tough journey, but that's the reason why your soul has incarnated into who you are today, at this moment.

You may have had experiences in your life when people lied to you or betrayed you, even in love you were cheated on. Your higher self is guiding you right now. Please focus on your healing and balancing your karma. They will help you address these wounds and they will also help you connect to your higher self and guides.

Pile 2

2 of pentacles, the fool, two of wands, page of swords

pile 2, your energy is very contradicting and hard to read. You are someone very confused and chaotic in life. You take risks then you immediately regret your life decisions lol. But the person you're asking about will help you with your chaotic energy and scattered behavior.

They are like a portal for you. New doors will be opened in your life through them. So be ready for it! They will help you get out of your inner chaos and explore the outer world more and create a balance between both.

They will go on dates with you. They may act a bit strict sometimes but it's for your betterment. You may not see the good in this right now, but later in life you'll be thankful to have them in your life. They can be a friend or a lover.

An extra thing I'm seeing is that you guys may connect over social media or just text a lot in general. You will make them feel like a child again. I'm also seeing that they will help you regain the lost momentum or control you had over your life.

Pile 3

ace of wands, king of pentacles, strength,the chariot, 9 of cups, 2 pentacles

Some of you could be asking about a mentor or a guide. They can be a spiritual master or a teacher of yours. They are here to provide you guidance and help you develo thinking abilities and skills so that you can manifest opportunities in your life. Or reach your goals.

They are here to provide you support, emotional and physical or even spiritual. They will console you whenever you feel down or sad. You are like their own child. And they deeply connect with you to a spiritual level.

You are someone who is very chaotic amd lacks direction in life. They will probably come into your life in a situation where you are juggling between a lot of things without clarity. They will show you a way out of this world. They will help you create a path and move in proper direction with a sense of clarity. They will also help you get stable in life.

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Why I recommend age regression as a way to cope.

If you're stressed the F out, feel like you missed out or lost your childhood, or have terrible coping mechanisms? Then this is the post for you. (Maybe.)

Also before we jump in—Just wanna say that I'm not a psychologist, I'm just sharing tips and advice from my own positive and negative experiences. And that age regression may not work for you after you've tried it, but I say give it a shot! Especially if your current ways of dealing with life aren't.... great.

With all that our of the way—Post beneath cut!

So here's some resources for a TLDR version! But I'll be explaining age-regression, it's benefits to me, and why I encourage others to try!

Remember it is ALWAYS sfw! (Which means agere isn't a kink, never has been and never will be!)

So age-regression, or it's shortened name Agere (Takes Age, and the Re from Regression and combines them!) Is a form of dissociation in which someone mentally reverts back to a younger age! This can be anywhere from a few years younger, such as a 17 year old regressing to a 15 year old. Or it can be many years younger—Example being a 17 year old regressing to a 4 year old!

During this state: they are mentally younger, either fully or partially depending on the person. And do think like said age. And often their behaviors correspond with their regressed age, assuming they aren't masking it!

Sometimes you are aware you're regressed, and other times you're not—Both are completely fine!

It's a wonderful way to relive your childhood in a safe environment, feel young and cared for again like a child, or express your inner child!

Okay, but why would I use that to cope?

Don't worry, I hear your questions!

The reason it's a good coping mechanism, for me atleast, is regressing allows you to process your emotions at your own pace. Though they might still be overwhelming, I find it much easier to let my big emotions calm down when I feel small, because it's like they slowly burn off rather than going boom!

If you're stressed a lot, it's a good way to temporarily remove yourself from your burdens! Like you don't have any worries other than 'should I use the pink or blue crayon?' Vibes! Pressure slowly bleeding off rather than having an outburst.

And, for fun! It can be fun to connect with your inner child, do the things you liked as a kid and reunited with that mindset! You don't need to have missed out on your childhood to regress, it can be completely for fun!

Now now, age regression isn't always all fun and games. Because you do think like whatever age you've regressed to, you might have temper tantrums or get cranky or confused if something triggers it.

That's okay.

Yeah, it can feel icky—But me personally, i much prefer these occasionally than letting my emotions boil over and having a breakdown when I'm not regressed!

I've lost and wasted a lot of my childhood. This is my way of healing and re-experiencing childhood joy. Please, don't ever forget that type of wonder, it's so magical and so nice and cozy.

It's a way to cope because it can be an outlet, a comfort, a way to regulate emotions, a way to escape, a way to just relax. And, while not everyone turns out liking it, that's okay! But it works for me, and so so many others. I've had atleast 6 or so friends start regressing and they're still doing it to this day!

And the best part is it's temporary, so if there's more mature things you enjoy? You don't have to give those up, okay? You can find time to regress and relax, and come back to your normal routine later!

It's benefits can be:

Destressing.

Processing lots of emotions at once.

Enjoyment.

Getting to do things you were denied as a child.

Able to let out emotions via tantrums or fits in a much less destructive headspace.

Reliving a simpler mindset.

Helping with sleeping. (I find it much easier to nap/go to bed if I'm regressed!)

Getting a fresh feeling after you're done regressing.

Stimulating if understimulated.

Can help if you're also overstimulated.

Healing inner child.

Coping with trauma/stress in a healthy way.

Help with doing chores. (It's way easier to make chores fun if you're regressed in my experience, but some hate doing chores while regressed and that's cool too!)

And it can be different for each person!

It is absolutely okay to have a different experience, struggle regressing at first or even always, or not do it often!

I recommend if you want to start regressing—Find something that makes your inner child happy, indulge in the best things you liked or would've liked as the age you wanna regress to, find ways to incorporate your current interests into it!

Also things that you like, or positive things can help too!

It's honestly my best coping mechanism, it isn't 'weird' or 'wrong' especially if it helps you. And I can guarantee it's far better than plenty of unhealthy coping mechanisms!

Sooo... yeah! If you want, I recommend looking more into it! There's a whole community for you here on Tumblr, and other sites!

And this post mainly only covers the positives, but it's what I wanted to focus on!

Byee!! (Pssstt BTW agere doesn't have to be all pastels and cute and stuff!! Do what makes you happy! Use whatever colours and vibes you want!)

[blingblong55]

All I can think of now is a proper what we do in the shadows! 141 AU, where the gang are a coven of vampires and there’s a documentary crew following them around. 🫧

Price is the oldest, perhaps a famous outlaw from over a thousand years ago. He views his coven as his children.

Gaz has been his companion for the longest. He was a knight or a soldier. Price has fought in a few wars to give himself something to do over the years, but couldn’t stand the thought of his new comrade and pseudo-child Kyle getting killed. He was far too young to die, so Price made sure he wouldn’t.

He met Ghost next when he was running one of his many criminal empires (again, he wanted something to do). Ghost had joined as a low level thug but quickly worked up the ranks to become one of his inner-circle. He was a cold blooded killer with little remorse - or so Price thought. Once he’s come to know of Simon’s upbringing and life, filled with hardship and pain, John knew he couldn’t just leave the lost soul alone. He deserved a chance to heal and make real, lasting connections with people who wouldn’t hurt or leave him, so Price turned him.

Soap and Grim are the newest additions to the coven. One of them probably became his familiar after being dared by the other, and they quickly worked their way into his unbeating heart. Price worried a lot for his two youngest children and they were giving him grey hairs after thousands of years without (how could be not worry with their love of explosives and lack of self preservation?) so he decided that, so he could keep a good eye on them and make sure that they didn’t get hurt, Johnny and R/n should join him and his older children in undeath.

Price was wary of the crew filming this ‘documentary’ about them, but his two youngest just seemed so happy to have new friends to play with, so he allowed it. Ghost would be the most guarded, happily taking care of a few of the crew who got too close, thought it would be funny to come to work with a crucifix in their pocket, or made a snide comment towards one of his family. Gaz is cheeky, friendly, and happy to joke around with them, and probably gives them the most actually useful information. He’s the only reason the documentary can actually be called factual or educational. Soap and Grim are happy to have new people to mess with. They like to jumpscare the crew by flying in their face as bats, appear out of nowhere, hypnotise them and convince them to act silly, and stage nerf gun wars with everyone in the house - cameramen included.

hear me out!

Graves is Simon the Devious (ironic ik)

The cameramen never get used to this, never. Price, oh that poor man, he wishes at times he didn't have a soft spot for his children but then again, this is what he chose

I would also like to introduce the two dumb little young vampires, Johnny and grim, not only did they both dare each other to become familiars but their dumbasses didn't know the other was going to go through with it!!! They end up finding out when Gaz introduces them to each other...

Three days into being familiars, they set off a bomb, nearly kills them but father senses tingle and Price finds them in time.

Five days into being familiars, they nearly die in six explosions, 2 car accidents and one orea choking accident, so that's when Price decides its time to make them vampires, he knows they are unkillable unless they step into the sun, which they almost have....14 times so far-...make that 15 times

[vampyrs-and-witchers]

VAMPYR(2018) - OC; “Alisa (Alice) Anya Volkov”

ALIGNMENT:

Neutral Good: Neutral Good individuals do the best they can, working within rules but not feeling bound by them. A kindly person who helps others according to their needs is probably Neutral Good.

BIOGRAPHY

➜ Full name: Alisa Anya Volkov

Name meaning:

Alisa is a Russian name for girls that means "great happiness". It is a Russian version of the classic name Alice.

Anya means "gracious" or "merciful" and is a diminutive of the name Anna.

Volkov: patronymic from the old personal name or nickname Volk from volk 'wolf'. Jewish (eastern Ashkenazic): habitational name from any of the places called Volkovo or Volki now in Belarus which in turn are derived from Russian volk 'wolf'. Wiki .

Nickname(s): Alice

Birth: May 22nd, 1888

Death: March 10th, 1918

Age: 26 (death age of physical body), 30 (age since contracting lycanthropy)

Family:

Dimitri Volkov (Father, MIA - Presumed dead)

Akim & Alexei Volkov (Older brothers - twins, presumed alive but missing)

Anastasia Volkov (Mother, deceased)

Sasha & Sofiya Volkov (Older sisters - twins, deceased)

Friends:

Sean Hampton (Good friends, took her in - inadvertently saving her life.)

Hsiao Shun (Friendly, get along.)

Lady Ashbury (Friends, knows she’s a Lycan.)

Other connections:

Jonathan Emmett Reid (Charge & love interest)

Enemies:

Lycaon of Arcadia (Despised, the man who turned her into a Lycan)

Geoffrey McCullum (Despited, leader of the Priwen, his men hunted her down when she was running away.)

Maker: Lycaon of Arcadia

Born: Kinerma - Karelia, Russia

Citizenship: Russian, Russia

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual (male lenient)

Height: 5ft 2in

Weight: 148lbs 67kg

Eye color: Grass Green

Hair color: Brown (Honey blonde)

Species: Lycan, human (previously)

Scars:

CANNON; Across the right side of her neck, extends down to shoulder blades (large, jagged, healed)

CANNON; Inside both wrists, self harm cuts. (varying in sizes, healed)

Body type: Short, skinny, plump in certain places.

Unusual features: None to note.

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OTHER

Affiliation(s): Pack of Arcadia (formerly), Pembroke Hospital (briefly)

Occupation: None

Allies:

Lady Elizabeth Ashbury

Sean Hampton

Jonathan Emmett Reid

Old Bridget

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EARLY LIFE: Alisa Anya Volkov was born into a sizable Russian family of six - now seven. Her early years were shadowed by tragedy when, at the age of twenty six, her mother, Anastasia, and two elder sisters, Sasha and Sofia, were killed in a horrific attack by Lycaon of Arcadia, a creature known as the father of Lycans. The brutality of the event left scars on her father, Dimitri Volkov, who vowed to protect Alisa with a fierceness she would never fully understand. As she grew, Alisa was often reminded of the family she had lost, though her father kept the darkest truths hidden from her, hoping to shield her innocence and allow her to find some semblance of peace.

Seeking a fresh start and better opportunities for his surviving child, Dimitri moved to England. He enlisted in the English army during World War I, joining the fight with fierce determination, and settled into English society to provide Alisa with a secure upbringing and a high-quality education. Although the sorrow of her family's tragic past lingered like an unspoken shadow, Alisa grew into a bright and compassionate young woman, with an inner strength that mirrored her father’s resilience. Her Russian roots remained a source of pride, though she adapted to her new life in England, driven by a desire to honor her family’s legacy and create her own path in a world forever changed by war and loss.

Loosing her father and twin older brothers

After the traumatic loss of her mother and sisters, Alisa found strength in her father, Dimitri Volkov, whose unwavering dedication provided her with a sense of stability as they started their new life in England. But this fragile security was shattered once more when Dimitri enlisted in the English army to fight in World War I. The war brought prolonged separation, but Alisa clung to his letters, each one a lifeline and a promise that he would return. Yet, as the conflict finally subsided and soldiers began to come home, Dimitri did not. Days turned to weeks, and Alisa’s hope was chipped away with each passing moment. Despite her efforts to find information, her father was declared missing, his fate unknown. The void left behind was as brutal as it was unfathomable, leaving Alisa alone, carrying the weight of her family's legacy and the haunting absence of the man who had been her protector and guide.

The sorrow was compounded when her two older brothers, Akim and Alexei, also vanished without explanation. In the wake of her father’s disappearance, her brothers had become her remaining support, and their sudden absence left Alisa with a hollow ache. Alisa, now truly alone, became a person of intense will, quietly haunted yet driven by an unyielding determination to preserve the memory of her loved ones and seek answers to the shadows that had stolen them away.

LYCANTHROPY:

However, her darkest ordeal was yet to come. One night, she was kidnapped by Lycaon himself, the very creature who had destroyed her family, and subjected to the horrifying ritual of transformation into a Lycan. The experience left her physically changed, but it was the mental and emotional scars that cut deepest, shattering what remained of her former life. Held captive and forced to embrace a monstrous form she despised, Alisa suffered in silence, barely holding onto her humanity. After months of torment, she seized a fleeting chance to escape, fleeing through the desolate streets of London until she stumbled upon a compassionate man named Sean Hampton. A devout figure dedicated to helping the lost and the suffering, Sean took Alisa under his care, providing her with the first true sense of safety she had felt in years. His kindness and friendship became her lifeline, grounding her shattered spirit as she began to heal, haunted yet hopeful that she could reclaim her life.

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TRIVIA:

Lycans (colloquially known as Werewolves) have the natural gift to shift their forms into three different appearances, these are: The human (the Lycan’s base appearance, what they look like before transformation and contracting lycanthropy), Timberwolf/Dire wolf (This transformation takes the appearance of a large wolf, typically and often confused for the prehistoric ancestor of wolves), True Vulkod/Volkov (the ‘typical’ appearance of a werewolf as perpetuated by human media.)

What is Lycanthropy? Lycanthropy is a viral infection that can be transmitted from victim to victim by bodily fluids such as semen, vaginal excretion, saliva, tears and blood.

Can Lycans be born? Or are they made? Lycans are typically made not born, if a human infected with lycanthropy were to mate with a human they would infect their partner and unborn child with the disease. There are no known cases of ‘naturally born werewolves’ who transform into humans only the inverse which are humans infected with a virus that allows them to transform into beasts.

Are Lycans ageless? Lycans age at a rate far slower than humans; a Lycan who may physically appear to be twenty-three could very well be a hundred years old. Although, the longest typical recorded age for a Lycan was 202, the first ever created Lycan is rumored to be over several millennia’s old.

Are Lycans mortal? Well typically Lycans age at a rate far slower than humans. They are still very much susceptible to death, infection and injury much like any mortal creature.

What kills a Lycan? Unnaloyed silver, silver gray wormwood, mistletoe, wolfsbane.

Can Lycans mate with humans? What about vampires? Lycans can produce viable offspring with humans but with vampires it’s dependant on the type of subspecies of vampire and what kind of vampirism the recipient suffers from. In most cases no viable offspring can be created as they die in utero. In rare cases offspring can be produced but they are born weak and depending on the level of care can live up to half of the human’s life span or half of either parent’s lifespan.

Can Werewolves (not Lycans) mate with humans? What about vampires? Werewolves can mate with humans and create an offspring, as for vampires see above answer.

What’s the difference between a Lycan and a Werewolf? A Lycan is a human infected with lycanthropy (The power of a human to transform into an animal, such as a wolf. The word comes from the Greek words lykos, meaning “wolf,” and anthrōpos, meaning “human being”.) who can transform into a wolf-man like beast. A werewolf is a sentient and highly intelligent beastial creature who has the ability to transform into a human. In simpler terms it’s would be; one is a human who can turn into a beast (meaning its base form is that of a human) while the other is a beast who can turn into a human (meaning it’s base form is that of a beast).

I still don’t get it, can I get another difference between Lycans and Werewolves? Lycans contract lycanthropy through a viral infection, where as Werewolves are born they cannot be made.

What is a ‘charge’? Though similar to the wiki definition of the word, in the world of Lycans and Werewolves - one can choose a human or vampire to make their charge. A charge is essentially someone who the Lycan or Werewolf chooses to bestow; knowledge of their species to, protect, guide, educate them in all manner of subjects that the Werewolf or Lycan may be versed in, as well as teach them their language and customs.

Vampires need blood to survive, what do Lycans and Werewolves eat to survive? Either species can eat normal human food to survive, though both have a penchant for meat - be that raw or cooked. Lycans unlike their cousins Werewolves - have a special affinity for human flesh - a bleeding human can be a tantalizing target for them to devour or turn.

So, Lycans are also cannibalistic? Yes.

Can Lycans avoid eating humans? That all depends on the will of the Lycan in question.

[shamelcss]

the last few days have been difficult, and i've been sitting with so many thoughts and much sadness that i'm struggling to navigate. unsure of where to place and express my grief. then this blog popped into my head. while it doesn't look like it anymore bc it evolved over the years and grew with me, once upon a time this was filled with 1d posts. this was one of my main outlets and connection points to a band and community i held so dearly and brought me to lifelong friends. that will never stop meaning something to me. if you were to look back at my blog during that time, too, you'd see that liam was my favorite. liam was everything... i mean, everything. i absolutely adored that man and he truly helped me navigate awful times in my life. i mean, they all did, but i could always relate to liam and zayn the most, particularly regarding struggles with bullying and mental health. last night i found an old post of mine on my stan twitter from 2014 stating "my entire existence is based on the single fact that liam payne is an actual living and breathing human being" which perfectly sums up how much i adored him (while also breaking my heart in equal measure). in recent years, i have not supported liam at all. i think that sentiment is fairly common. as a victim of predatory adults online and abuse, it was incredibly disheartening to hear the things that have come to light over time. someone who had once helped me through the darkest times of my life was guilty of things i had experienced personally. still, it saddens me to know how deeply he struggled with addiction and mental health, and i wish he could have gotten the help he needed. i wish he could have been held accountable for the hurt he caused and grown as a person. i wish he could have healed from all of his traumas. this whole situation is incredibly tragic and i can't quite wrap my head around it. i keep thinking of his son, and his family. his girlfriend. the boys. his ex and other victims. i hope they are able to continue to heal, and if they need to continue sharing their stories to do that, i hope everyone will have the compassion to allow them the space to do so without hate. it is okay to acknowledge that somebody may not have turned out to be the person you thought they'd be, and still grieve the person they used to be and who they were capable of becoming if things had been different. it is okay to sympathize with how somebody suffered, it doesn't mean you condone how they acted or treated others while they were suffering. things are not black and white and there is so much more nuance in life than people like to allow. my heart really goes out to everyone affected by liam's passing. everyone struggling with how to navigate their grief and how to feel - let yourself be sad, let yourself be angry, let yourself be nostalgic. feel everything you need to feel on behalf of your inner child and your current self. don't let anyone make you feel weird or bad for it. one direction meant so much to millions of us in our most formative years. this is one of the first big losses our generation has experienced of a star from our time.

anyways i didn't mean for this to get so long but it has helped me to process and flesh out my thoughts, so maybe it will help some of you to read. i wish we could all hug each other right now. i will always love this fandom, and i will always love the boyband of our time. they had fun, they were normal guys, and they were terrible terrible dancers. 🥹❤️

[pinklayla123]

okay idk if you answer asks but i saw your post about the “coincidences” that like maybe aren’t and i’ve already i sent part of this to another account but idk if they’re active anymore and booktok and the ig community are too much for me because i can’t hide behind anon but i was wondering the same thing, i don’t read a lot of the theories out there because they seem too far fetched to me but i was thinking isn’t it weird that after the Archeron mom died they lost everything. If she had a child (Nesta) with a Fae or a male Witch she would’ve been conceived during Amarantha’s rule and could’ve (given Rhys keeping the Inner Circle on his payroll) gotten some sort of child support for keeping the kid safe and maybe a blessing from the person she conceived Nesta with leading to the birth of Elain and Feyre therefore two blessed mortals by either a Witch of Fae of some power and maybe that was why Papa Archeron rode in one the ship named after Nesta who essentially (if this is true) by being born gave that man his wealth and he felt like he owed the Fae something aka his life. Lanthys also didn’t say Nesta wasn’t a Witch but that she didn’t smell like Oorid and the overlap between Throne of Glass Witches and Nesta is a lot more than i can cross examine like Blue Annis being described as an Iron-Teeth Witch meaning it’s possible Crochan Witches exist in Prythian as well.. like Witches being able to sense storms and hear the roaring of the wind in their ears and whenever Nesta is pissed the weather reacts… the Dead Trove could be similar to the Witch Mirrors and other objects Witches could supposedly make and Crochan witches can have magic similar to Fae, like the entire book Silver Flames was spent listening to everyone say how not mortal Nesta has been her entire life and she even said she was her mothers creature and if this is the case it sounds like Azriel refusing his Illyrian side and as we know her and him are close. What if she felt something recoil in her if she she had gotten near the wall looking for Feyre like she knew if she went out there she wouldn’t come back so she sent others out there because imagine how different the books would’ve been if Amarantha got a hold of Nesta... I’m rambling so i’ll stop because this is probably unhinged but like Nesta wasn’t allowed to give up all of her Magic to save Feyre and maybe because that’s what she was born with like that amount of Magic and her mother made her suppress it and similar to Feyre wanting her to train her mother may have made her take dance to expel her magic in some way also if her mother had a child with a Fae- Ash Wood stops Fae healing and Rowan cut Aelin’s ears into points to make her shift, maybe to save her child Mama Archeron cut her daughters ear points off? and the Cauldron just regenerated her, maybe Elain couldn’t be as connected to the Cauldrn as Nesta and she knew that deep down and her instinct was to keep Elain away from it like with Feyre and the drawers because like Feyre- Elain was made but maybe Nesta was just regenerated or healed back to who she originally was.

Me reading this ask

Okay, so I think that all three sisters are biologically mama and papa Archeron's. It's mentioned that despite the fact that mama Archeron wasn't even a parent, she did love her husband, and something similar was said for him as well, so I don't think she had an affair with someone.

From what I remember, papa Archeron's money was accumulated by generations of his ancestors who were merchants, and he was on the brink of losing it because of a series of bad decisions. I think the reason why it all came crashing down after mama Archeron's death is because he wasn't thinking straight and made a dumb decision to risk everything out of desperation.

However, you're right, it's very interesting how SJM keeps bringing up the "Nesta was never truly mortal" thing. I read that as her having a strong intellect and personality in a "she was destined for more than balls and parties and a rich husband" kind of way, like when Rhys calls her an Illyrian, but it could also allude to some non-human ancestry in the bloodline, possibly on mama Archeron's side as Nesta was most like her so maybe those genes are strongest in Nesta. (Adding to this, it's also very interesting that the bargain magic chose the Starborn symbol for Nesta, how does that connect to everything?)

I think that all the other weird stuff happening with her, like Lanthys saying she smells weird, the environment being affected by Nesta's emotions, many people calling her a witch, and her intense connection to the Cauldron boils down (pun intended) to the fact that she took a huge chunk of the Cauldron's power in her fury. Like, this piece was substantial enough that the king of Hybern was allocating resources to getting Nesta back so the Cauldron would be back at 100% power, so she probably took a lot more power than was given to Elain, making her connection to the cauldron much stronger.

If Nesta was truly something other than human as a child, I think her mother would have given her more attention beyond dancing lessons and teaching her manners. Her mother is described as a vain social-ladder climber, and she would have used Nesta's ancestry to her advantage somehow if this were the case. If Nesta had been born with the power she has at the end of acosf, there would have been some mention of "this power was familiar to her, it had been hidden in chest her entire life, waiting to be freed" or something. I think the power Nesta is left with at the end of acosf is either from mercy or kindness on the Mother's part or she has larger plans for Nesta which require her to keep some of what she stole from the Cauldron.

This got really long, but in summary, I think that the Archeron sisters were originally human with maybe a dash of some magic in the bloodline. I think more than that though, it is a case of fate weaving its threads across centuries to get all these people together (the Archeron sisters and the Bat Boys) and giving them the powers needed to help right an ancient wrong (the Daglan and the corruption of the Cauldron).

[anodetodaphne]

As I get older and reach different stages of softening in my healing, opening up, I feel the dull rising ache of wounds that were once numb coming up to the surface for proper processing. Recently I learned that it's not that I have a problem letting go of anything, it's more so that the things that still hurt me are needing me to process them correctly. It's like when you get a new system and all of your old files are being consolidated into it, you have to actually take your time and upload it all the correct way without skipping corners.

I recognize that I'm not a child, a teenager or in my 20s anymore... I'm in my 30s and my environment isn't dysfunctional. Relationships & connecting with others isn't toxic or so scary to me anymore. I feel well equipped with the tools needed to navigate relationships healthily and I'm truly happy for myself in that regard. Fear was never first nature to me, I've always loved humans and loved connecting with them. Sometimes I wake up and feel my body still prepared for chaos. Me and hypervigilance will always have an intimate relationship, but I'm learning to ebb and flow with it. I am the water, after all. It takes a lot breathing, self-talk and prayer but we're doing it. I accept that it exists within me for a reason, and although it will never go away, I can control how I respond to it.

Lately, I've been curious about who I am as an emotionally available person. So much of my creativity and musings were codependent with unavailability. I romanticized it so much and felt it was the only way I could experience true passion; I'm a blank canvas now that dysfunction doesn't sing to my inner snake. I mean, it still tries to sing the same old song in my soul but my spirit doesn't respond to it the same. I am connecting with love in its highest, most purest form. I am experiencing ecstasy in the form of mundane living, the thrills of a simple life. Can I romanticize the smell of chocolate chip waffles on a sunny Sunday morning in my house, with my kids running around screaming about who is going to save Princess Peach from Bowser in his submarine? Can I obsess over the growth from allowing myself to be kissed four times by my husband instead of three every day multiple times a day? I've never been here before, loved like this & loving without fear...without terror. I no longer have moments where I prepare for it all to crumble beneath my feet . The only thing I fear is death taking what I love from me, and that feels natural.

This all feels natural.

[radicalacceptanceofwellness]

In my previous blog, I discussed briefly how I utilized meditation to comfort my inner child. In doing this, I was able to combat negative self-talk, find my voice, and erase my anxiety of speaking. I’d like to talk more about inner child healing because childhood is detrimental to the brain. Events and experiences during this time shape our reality, perception, desires, characteristics, behaviors, and more. The inner child does not leave us, in a way, it is the root of our being.

With that said, acknowledging the child within us allows us to incorporate and accept this aspect into our whole being. Neglecting parts of the self allows for unresolved issues to fester.

✨Here are some ways I honor my inner child:✨

• Music Playlist: I have a Spotify playlist that has songs like Hakuna Matata, You Got a Friend in Me, Under the Sea, the whole Nightmare Before Christmas album, and more. Sometimes, I feel called to listen to the playlist and my mood becomes light-hearted. This is great when it feels like work or other factors may be too serious. My inner child helps me find a balance.

• Items: I have a book that I bought in my elementary school library. It felt great to gather some quarters and make a fulfilling purchase as my younger self. I haven’t read the book since then, but although I have donated many of my books and belongings, I feel THAT book is a reminder of a time of innocence.

• Shows: My all-time favorite shows growing up were Courage the Cowardly Dog and Invader Zim. Occasionally, I will rewatch them along with That’s So Raven on YouTube. I find that I enjoy each episode and laugh like it were the first time. When I feel called to do this, it can be a security blanket that no matter how much things change around me, I can still enjoy this.

• Visiting Places: This may too be a security blanket. It helps me stay connected to the memory of the loved ones who raised me and connects me to parks/playgrounds that brought me peace.

• Biking: When I was young, my cousins and I biked together. I had a pink Barbie bike that I thought was the coolest thing ever. I never biked in my teens or adult years until 2022 when I bought a Schwinn. After all those years, I felt this immense feeling of freedom when I rode again. It was the same feeling as playing on the Monkey Bars on the playground or going down a slide.

All this is to say that staying connected to our inner child is a great way to tap into an innocent feeling—the time before the weight of the world came down.

If you are someone who didn’t have the opportunity to be a child, I am sharing this because you have the power to create those moments now. As an example, if you were someone who didn’t get to enjoy holidays with a family, then you can open yourself up to forming familial type relationships to be able to share that moment with them. If you didn’t have a dad to take you to a football game.

You can at least take yourself and treat you the way you would have liked to be treated. 🌻

[itsamatterofmind]

Throughout the healing journey...

I found it surprising that majority of the people in the healing groups that I have been involved in are women.  I am not sure if its because women are the ones who are targeted the most bc men perceive us as “weak” (which we all know is untrue) or if its because men arent “allowed” to experience emotion because of fear of what society might think.  That men think that they have to repress whatever is going on with them on an emotional level because it isnt masculine for them to express emotional pain/hurt.  I am not sure, but that is not what this post is about. 

I found myself in a relationship with a guy I really liked, and actually saw a future with because he brought out happiness and strength and provided a feeling of safety I haven’t felt in a long time.  I felt really great about our connection but my fears were mounting up from the past trauma and the bandaids I put over the wounds were coming off.  I was realizing how unhealed I was, it was a tough pill to swallow mainly because I couldnt seem to swallow it.  All of a sudden I was suffocating and my hurt inner child was sooooo loud I was communicating all the confusion to him.  Which was unfair to him because why would I place such a burden on someone else that has nothing to do with my pain?  So in my insecurity and suffocation I kept pushing him away, but then wanting him back because I knew what I was suffering from wasnt to do with him, so I placed him on an emotional rollercoaster bc I wanted to grow in this relationship that I strongly desired.   The guilt of this was eating me alive so finally I pushed him away.  When I felt ready again we hung out and it was like our connection was still beautiful, strong, and correct.  Well, I lost my place to live and that was the final straw I felt everything I healed from came back from the ashes and rose in a greater way and I realized that maybe I was just hiding the pain now and no real work was accomplished.  I started to think.. maybe I will never heal?  So I entered into MORE healing, and this time specifically trauma groups on how to navigate through this murkiness and help shed a light on my heart that would lead me to hope.   It wasnt coming, at least it wasnt coming fast enough...  As of then I have been trapped for a little over 6 years and I was extremely frustrated that I was still here.   I wanted the pain and sadness to be done, it was out of my life but still resounding fear was echoing through my existence it was like a heartbeat that was shattering through my being and the shame I felt made me feel less than the strength I know I have.  I know I am strong!  I went from being a victim of abuse to being a survivor, but that is not enough for me.  After contemplating what that means for me,  I dont want to be a survivor because that insinuates that I am still in survival mode and that I am still attacking the world around me.  Thats unfair.  felt as though I should be caged until I am solid in my healing and I could enter the world again in a light, playful, and loving way.  The dangers of isolation are greater than the risk of intimacy but this time my isolation was different I was isolating not only for me but for the people I love because they deserve the best version of me.  I know what I am capable of, and throughout the healing I am becoming more aware of what I have to offer but all that I have to offer I was not offering for myself. 

So I continued listening to stories of the survivors in my trauma groups and there was one thing that kept repeating that astounded me and that is... they all have boyfriends or got remarried.  It is something I question all the time because I cant imagine how they did it.  I am over here suffering from pain of memories I thought I overcame and these women were at a similar level to me or worse in their healing journey.... how did they find love again?  Were they trauma bonding? Are their husbands happy?  How could someone bring an unaffiliated partner into the chaos and confusion of the trauma they have yet to heal? I couldnt understand it, and I still dont and maybe thats not for me to understand because I am not one to bring someone into a situation that shouldve been healed before they arrived in my life.  No matter how much feeling, emotion, thoughts of a beautiful future together, the pure joy I felt when I was with him... I could not justify bringing him into this.  I displaced my trauma with activities for many years, and my ego was covering up how much pain I was in.  I was happy building my business, and making connections with people, and soon I found out this was okay as long as they didnt get close enough.  So I am realizing that anyone that got close enough I set fire to the connection and let it burn.  I dont want to be that person anymore.  I want to help people on a grand scale, and I believe that is what God is calling me to do.   Needless to say, the last time I pushed him away he walked away and I feel it is permanent.  He has shown zero interest, care, or concern about me and maybe I deserve that?  It is a learning experience that woke me up because I never wanted him to walk away... we never got a chance to build a relationship together, my trauma created nothing but false starts bc my fear was a heavy burden to bare. 

Soon... I will tell you, soon, about a couple of books that have been in my life for many years that completely turned my world around and gave me hope of healing in a final way.  One of the books had been appearing in my life for 3 years randomly but I always turned away from it because I didnt understand it.  It is reframing my whole mind in a way that I am viewing the world, myself, and my past trauma in a new light.  And I will also tell you about a significant healing experience that really set the stage that I am so close to cycling this out.  I am talking about these experiences because 1.) journaling is helpful and 2.) I hope that whomever reads this testimony can be  helped or shed light on things that are shimmering under the surface that need to be brought to light so you can sort through them. Our experiences may be different but the end result is the same...  We want to heal!

[cosmicangel888]

Alliance with Light & Clearing the Way

Someone that hangs on to you, in any way, because it benefits them yet damaging to you, can be resolved through your own inner Alliance with Light;

Source, Spirit, God, will never allow anyone to continue to take, siphon, disregard, dishonour, and devalue, or harm you in the myriad of ways that emotional, mental, spiritual, energetic, and physical manipulation and trauma's will cease when you choose yourself.

Choosing self love is the loving choice to place yourself first when others simply cannot ever do; when you only ask for basic decent human care, and kindness, compassion, and truth, is a bare minimum, then you know sacrificing your life, light, energy, mind, spirit, body, soul is not worth the ride, and when the other parts of the equation do not respect and continue to harass spiritually, or energetically then the path becomes heavily karmic and damaging at all levels of your path and the path that stepping beyond will serve;©

You stepping forth in your life, light, is exactly what your children have contracted on with you for you to accept and act upon; when you do not, you bring stagnation to the entire soul group and why your teams, higher self, and Source comes in to help clear the way, the path, and begin working with you to energetically, emotionally, and mentally release those that do not heed your wishes, and actions, and behaviours - over and over and over again - then Source and Spirit will again place heavier pressure on those abusing you;

Your role is to self love, go within and discern why you manifested such experiences, and see it from all angles and perspectives; see beyond the actions and have compassion for the wounding of such that would deem such painful experiences as a game, normal, or deserving in any way; see the depths of what can be gleaned as a healing tool, skill, understanding - for this is a part of your path -

And bring the equal love to what was - alchemy is to love and make peace with every new day; sit in reflection; can you speak up for your inner child, spirit, and how may you do so tomorrow?

Can you show your inner child love and divine expression, and how can you do so tomorrow - make time, and of such divine knowing that all are capable - see all as capable and see humanity healing and connecting with their inner child and higher self - there are reasons for such pain and suffering - the equal love and healing is possible always - so find peace in this -

Those that do such; know what they are doing, for they are choosing to mentally, spiritually, energetically break you down, and in my experience, the others parties were hell bent on doing all possible to have me suffer, submit to the entities and beliefs that cult-like activities choose to tap into and turn to in order for corruption, false community offerings, and debauchery are continued and maintained; all is breaking for the healing of all involved -

Immediately withdraw from any and all type of situations and begin daily clearing, cleansing, severing cords, ties, and this is a multi-dimensional process and does take time - hold your ground and remain loving and positive, the light will continue to spiral in all cycling timelines to bathe the negative emotions, and memories to heal and transmute - until the final phases of all residue of deep karmic threads and be the warrior of disciplined positive self design; do not compromise with corruption; state, know, and align with love, light, and higher order integrity - in your own life and your own thoughts and feelings and self loving care;

The love of the divine - there is always the pouring on light - neutralize negativity by being the consistence of love - love for you and knowing that healing takes time; every new cycle you are able to go deeper and be entangled with Source, God to know you will be remade and rebuilt and stronger for any other navigation against hate, discrimination and competition for energy, time, resources, and kindness;

Life is a process of navigation and becoming more wise and self loving to maintain your life story and never surrender to any other's wants, needs, and desires for you to play any character when they are not accountable nor healing of the past - Send love and compassion and allow all to play in whatever way their souls needs and maintain safe loving distance and 0 engagement to purify and maintain healthy life within and without -

Always appreciate all soul experience - such allows for the acceptance and allowance phase of healing - and bringing yourself to new levels of self becoming - all are reflections of all that is and eons of healing subjugation -=

Blessings and light

Joanna

#ascension

#healingtrauma

#healingpain

#healingourchildren

#5Dleadership

#understandingalchemy

#healingearth

#5Dearth

#acceptanceofthepast

#humanity

[punkpandapatrixk]

📝Your Ideal Self-Concept—Timeless Tarot Pick A Card

…you’d better exhibit a persona that matches your personal power, babe🌟

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Pile 1 – High-Class Bad Bitch

your personal power – King of Wands Rx

You’re someone who’s been misunderstood a lot in life. Either because you’re too powerful or too unique. Whatever you do, people think you’re too much of everything they’re afraid of allowing themselves to become. And they’re quite jelly of that, you know. You embody a singularly unique identity they crave for themselves.

People preach ‘be yourself’ all the time but it’s all just cheap talk for the most part. It’s a broken affirmation they can never live up to. And here you are strutting your unique identity and passion for life like it’s nobody’s business. People think you’re insulting their cowardice when all you do is just breathe.

You’re not the problem, they are. Weaklings see fire and they want to put it out because they’re scared. But that’s never gonna happen (and you shouldn’t let that happen) because you are a cosmic engine. You came into this world carrying such potent fire because you’re meant to cleanse the world of weakling mindset. You’re meant to eradicate poverty mindset.

But who’s to say you aren’t compassionate even when you’re gung-ho?

your communication style – 6 of Cups

In spite of appearances, you’re someone who holds deep compassion for other people’s hardships. When you connect with someone else, you feel their emotions as you listen to their stories. You can feel other people’s pain and you’re the type that wants to cheer or motivate others. Sometimes you might even be too positive and want to shun negativity—and that’s when you come across as stern or unempathetic. But that’s just sometimes.

If there’s anything to fix, in a manner of speaking, it is that you don’t always put other people in your shoes. Being born with power in your character, you might not always understand why other people can’t seem to help themselves. You want to help in a way that could be seen as a bit aggressive sometimes… but that’s really because you’re trying to motivate your own inner child.

You see, sometimes people are pathetic because when they were growing up nobody ever believed in their innate goodness. And I think you just need this tiny reminder of how you’ve grown up as well—when nobody believed in your capabilities. But different from others, you’re strong. If this resonates, all you need to do is develop patience. You’re already compassionate and understanding, but patience is a different virtue.

what is your Art? – Page of Pentacles Rx

You’re someone who just has this ability to break conventions. Seriously, no matter how small that convention is. You break rules, delight in taboos, engage in controversial activities. You could even be the black sheep of a family, neighbourhood, society, or even nation. But what’s all that for?

For adding flavour to this drab world. What else you think? You’re colourful and you say and do things others are afraid to admit they want to emulate. Fuck that. You’re the perfect example of freedom. As long as you’re responsible and maintain your own safety, I think you can do whatever you want.

Your true Art in life is breathing in all the world has to offer. Sometimes the good, sometimes the bad. But by not being afraid to face challenges head on, you learn to balance your perspective on power and how it is used in human interactions. If you develop correctly, you won’t become the type of asshole that wants to exert power over others. And that in itself, is your contribution to the healing of your society.

Field of Focus🔻❤️

In a manner of speaking, this could hint at your ideal career~

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Undercover Genius Inventor

your personal power – 10 of Wands Rx

You’re a whacko, admit it already. You’re just feigning normalcy. You know how to maintain a façade of someone boring, but you’re a born artist. You wear a polite monochrome mask but your Soul is made of colour and drama. Maybe for survival, you pretend to be dumb. But you and I know you’ve got this crazy keen analysis ability. You observe everything closely and notice other people’s likes and dislikes just by their behaviour. And then you adjust.

A chameleon, you’re a sly bitch that goes: ‘Bimbos are gonna rule the world.’ You just sit there and be pretty and act dumb and the world offers you melons. Little do they know, you’re a hard worker. You hustle with brilliant concepts when no one’s watching or expecting anything from you. You’re a true Artist of Life because the whole world is your stage/canvas/runway/what have you.

You’re not one to be tamed by other people’s demands and orders. You create your own T&C whilst pretending like you’re agreeing with what others are saying. But you’re getting under everyone’s skin. You’ve developed so much power purely from within yourself, maybe because you came from a past that had so many restrictions. Your biggest gift is your big brain, oh and, a sassy attitude towards Life.

your communication style – 5 of Pentacles

You keep your secrets close to your heart. You don’t even reveal how much you have. Whatever you show is just a portion of what you’re allowing others to see. In a way, there’s a lot of darkness surrounding the true nature of your force. And that’s intriguing to a lot of people. They want to know what makes you tick. And you guard yourself so well that you remain an exciting enigma.

More important still, because you’ve had a past that’s not so easy, you can instead easily connect with those who are struggling. You give realistic and practical advice that others can quickly grasp. It’s natural like that because you know the struggles of not having much. Some people can easily like you; but some could easily hate you for your power as well.

All in all though, for those that are on the same wavelength as you, you serve as a source of inspiration. There’s something mega unique and strong about your vibe that only those peeps can recognise. And they’ll want to emulate you. Some people might even worship you because you possess a special kind of sly charm when talking.

what is your Art? – 10 of Cups

Those who don’t know you may not recognise this right away, but you’re a loyal person. Yeah, you’re kinda guarded and enjoy flying solo like that; you’re also somewhat secretive, but your heart is actually very big. If only the world weren’t so dangerous you’d be so open with everyone and hug every person who’s hurting right now. Alas, the world ain’t like that.

Still, when you’ve become so much more developed than now, you’ll be a fount of healing for other Souls who are just as unique as you. You could have like a tribe or squad or sisterhood, and you act as the Goddess On Top that protects everyone’s wellbeing. Like you could even be overseeing other people’s development like a mentor. -Bro, are you in a cult or smt?-

There’s something quite parental about your vibe. And I think you’re meant to create a community of peaceful people whose focus is to have fun whilst being alive. Even by just doing your unique thing, as long as you’re not hurting people, you’re already contributing to the healing of this world~

Field of Focus🔻💙

In a manner of speaking, this could hint at your ideal career~

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Technomancy World Leader

your personal power – 6 of Wands

You may have a chill and serene exterior, but anybody who takes a peek inside your Soul will be astounded by just how hot your ambitions are. Your Life has not been easy and the struggles you’ve met along the way have become a fuel for your desires to achieve greatness in this lifetime. I think you’re frustrated with the status quo. To some extent, you may even hate this world. You hate it so much you want to change it (hopefully for the better).

You are a unique Soul. Your energy signature is so original that you shine a colour that is singularly yours. It’s almost like you’ve been singled out by the Universe itself. Everywhere you go, you attract attention and command respect without even trying. You can’t even hide this charisma. The more you try to blend in the more solitary you appear to be. And there’s a purpose to that.

Most people on this Planet are boring and they try so hard to fit into their societies just for survival. As cowardly that can be, deep down this world yearns for eccentric individuals to serve as a source of inspiration. Cowardly-but-honest people just need some kind of validation for their own weirdness. But those who are dishonest are probably gonna hate you. But who cares about them? You just shine anyway~

your communication style – XV The Devil

Power motivator. Seducer. Divine Jokester. You have a weird way of speaking and your sense of humour is either dark or inappropriate. You like to shock people with taboo questions and aren’t afraid to mock political correctness. What’s the point of being fake polite when behind the mask everyone knows the world doesn’t get better by polite and comfortable conversations?

Yet at the same time, you’re not prone to anger outbursts. You collect yourself easily and can deliver your scandalous points of view calmly and with precision. Your intelligence is both empathetic and piercingly savage. When you open your mouth, you’re not just doing it for the sake of having arguments. Every word you say serves to slap the status quo in the freaking face.

You show the authorities their own stupidity and the idiotic ways they think about shit and go about saving the world. Nobody’s doing it right because everybody’s got all their priorities upside down. And you’re here to tell them to fuck off and get their shit straight. You may gain enemies, but those who vibe with you are probably gonna worship you. You are the Muse of the world’s rebels.

what is your Art? – XVI The Tower

So obvious. You’re here to bring down the old regime of the world’s powers. You’re here to break conventions. Dare I say, you’re meant to lead a rebellion against the psychos that are destroying this Planet. Your personal rebellion could involve: championing environmental movements, flipping the power abuse within family settings, empowering youth innovation, revamping the education system, breaking down cultural/political barriers, and so on and so on. Oh, and…

Bridging spiritual knowledge with technological ways of seeing things. You just have that natural aptitude to understand the more cosmic nature of the world and how energies play out in the physical. You’ll be sharing knowledge and perspectives that are so fresh yet so nostalgic—like, they just make sense but most people didn’t see them before you opened your mouth.

Quite honestly, I see peeps who have chosen Pile 3 are leaders of the new Age of Aquarius. You are harbingers of a soft revolution. I think many of you are gonna leave important legacies and your names will be remembered for hundreds of years to come. You have the power to leave a lasting impact on the world’s stage and make it a better place for future generations.

Field of Focus🔻💛

In a manner of speaking, this could hint at your ideal career~

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[Back to Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[ningningsplushie]

☆.｡.:* 𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒆, 𝒀𝒐𝒖! .｡.:*☆

𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Seokjin x Reader

𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: Your boyfriend holds the world on his shoulder and because of that, he can’t seem to let you in and accept that you want to love him, not hurt him. Can you change that?

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 1,584

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: ANGSTTTTT, but sprinkled with fluff and a happy ending! Trauma but nothing is explicit, small kissing, crying, prolly will make you want to hug Seokjin :(((

𝒂/𝒏: This idea came to me while I was listening to Chet Baker’s “You’re Mine, You!” while also reading A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara so this is loosely based off of these two things! 

Seokjin never thought he’d get to this point in his life. Never, in all his twenty-nine years of living, did he envision himself connected to a person other than himself. For his whole life he had been navigating the world all on his own, perhaps his dark and unsavoury past nudging him along, both towards good decisions and poor. Poor for the most part. But you, you were the best decision he has made, even though he hasn’t chosen to acknowledge it just yet. But because of his solitary life thus far, love wasn’t even a luxury. It was a concept so far gone from his mind, an idea that he thought he didn’t deserve. But you proved him wrong.

However, his shut-off lifestyle shouldn’t be an excuse because as dark and unsavoury as his past was, so was yours. But god, were you different. So, so different than he. Whereas Seokjin was stoic, using his silence as both an escape and defence tactic, you were childish, so sweet and so good. Too good. You hadn’t allowed yourself to grow up, at least not at the same pace of the other newly, just turned twenty-two year olds. Sure, you graduated and got your bachelors and are now moving on to your masters whilst maintaining your job at the museum, but you indulged in the things that make you feel warm and like a child. In soft, romantic films, in useless bits and bobs that adorn your shelves, dressing in frilly dresses and skirts, glitter on your eyes and ribbons in your hair in an innocent yet sophisticated manner. You were still healing your inner child, the child that hadn’t gotten a chance to be who she should really be in the past all thanks to your parents. But Seokjin, Seokjin forced himself to grow up, all too much and much too fast.

In his cramped apartment, bed pushed against the small, open window, the two of you sat in silence, gazing out towards the city at night. You nudged his shoulder and an electric shock ran through Seokjin, keeping him alert. He still wasn’t used to people touching him. He doesn’t like it but when he remembers it’s just you, his body goes back to being relaxed, no longer on the defence.

“Penny for your thoughts?” You inquired, offering him an actual penny, rust painting a few spots.

“Penny for your thoughts?” You inquired, offering him an actual penny, rust painting a few spots.

Seokjin scoffed, shaking his head and you watched as his black bangs fell into his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he quipped, purposely ignoring your question. You knew this, so you don’t push.

“Yeah, but I'm your idiot.” Fluttering your eyes, so big and full of life despite everything that has been thrown at you, he couldn’t help but notice his heart was doing the same.

Looking down at his hands, his crooked fingers folded over his lap, he grumbled, “Yours. What a stupid thing to say. It’s not like I own you.”

“Well no…but…you own my heart, it belongs to you because I let myself bare to you. I’ve told you all my deepest secrets and I can’t let you go now, you know too much!” You slightly joked, trying to lighten the mood as you knew Seokjin didn’t like to delve too deep into conversations.

This frightened Seokjin because if he owned your heart and you belonged to him, that must mean it’s the same vice versa. The sick and unhealed part of him couldn’t allow this. Although he loved you, again, even if he still hasn’t acknowledged this fact, he’s terrified at the thought of someone hurting him again. Yet the small, if not microscopic side of him, the one that so desperately craved affection that it sometimes keeps him up at night, knew that you’re different. If you had wanted to hurt him, you would’ve done so by now. And you haven’t.

On the defence again, he snapped. “You don’t own my heart and I certainly don’t belong to you.” He saw how your face slightly faltered and he mentally cursed himself. He did what comes easiest to him.

A butterfly landed on the windowsill. A small, black butterfly, so fragile and so alone in this big scary world. Seokjin tore his eyes away from yours, to get away from the hurt that he’s caused and stared at the flapping wings.

The two of you were both stubborn but it still surprised Seokjin nonetheless when he heard a gentle, “I’d like to think that I do.”

Looking at you from the side, refusing to turn towards you because then it would mean confrontation head on, he noticed how your watchful gaze was trained on the butterfly. Out of nowhere, your right arm reached forward for the window, for the butterfly and Seokjin flinched. With your left hand, with a feather-like touch, you guide the butterfly to your right hand, getting it to your palm, forming a cup.

“Look at it this way, Jin. Your heart, to me, is this butterfly.” Your voice is kind but he heard the determination behind it. He stared at the butterfly moving about, looking for escape. “Now, in the palm of my hand is the most fragile thing that could come into existence. So fragile that,” With every word your fingers slowly and menacingly tightened around the butterfly. “I have the power to kill it, just because I can. In just a few seconds I can kill this butterfly just because it’s now mine and I can do whatever I want to it.”

Horrified at what will come next, Seokjin couldn’t take his eyes off you, feeling tears well up. Tears he didn’t know he had the power to conjure after so long. He wanted to leap forward and pry open your fingers before you crushed the butterfly, before its wings and blood stained your skin. He wanted to scream and cry in horror, for both himself and the poor insect but he was weak in his spot, chin slightly wobbling.

But before your fingers fully enveloped the small creature, you ceased your actions. “Or I could do this.” Your hand opened up steadily, like a blooming flower and Seokjin sighed in relief. You reached behind you with your other arm, pouring water into a small teacup and bringing it forward to the butterfly, letting it flutter onto the rim so it could drink. “Still in my hand is the most fragile thing in existence. But it’s so much more than that. It’s beautiful, it’s precious, and it’s everything good and if I have something like that, I want to do anything but hurt it.” You both watched as it drank, thankful to have found water. “I want to love it, nourish it, keep it safe because that’s what it deserves.”

Seokjin continued to cry at your new words but for a different reason. Never has he heard something so loving and gentle directed towards him. At first he can’t believe it, at what he’s hearing but through the bleary wateryness of his eyes, he discovered the love that you yielded to him, not like a weapon, but like a bouquet of flowers.

Its thirst now quenched, the butterfly danced through the air briefly, the two of you following its steps before it settled onto Seokjin’s knuckle. You lazily reached forward for his hand and this time, for the first time, he didn’t flinch, nor did he jerk back, nor did he stiffen. With an action of lightness that Seokjin has finally accepted, you brought his hand towards your lips and kissed his pale hand, the butterfly’s wings tickling under your eye.

With a giggle and a loving grasp on Seokjin’s wrist, you now brought it outside the window, making his hand jiggle so the butterfly could now fly away and be free. Through all of this, Seokjin has never ceased his crying. He thought that if he were to ever cry again, it would be because of fear or agony, not because of relief and comfort, and somehow, you knew why he was crying.

You allow him to do so but you also wiped the tears from his face to alleviate him from the sticky trails his tears have left behind. Now, in a hush, in a voice as quiet as the flapping of the butterfly’s wings you whispered, “As long as you allow me to stay I’ll always treat you and your heart like it’s the most precious thing on earth. Cuz guess what Jin? That’s exactly what it is to me.”

Seokjin has calmed down and in a move that surprised him, he leant forward and locked his lips with yours. You tasted his sweat from the hot summer night and his salty tears but you didn’t push him away to brush them off. It wasn’t something you put up with but rather, accepted. Just as you accepted Seokjin for everything that he was and everything he had to offer.

[bratz-kitten]

saturn through the houses

saturn in the 1st house: there's an ability present here to make friendships very quickly due to your dependable nature. you keep your word and your promises no matter what. the insecurities and inferiority complexes you felt in your childhood give you the push to pursue your ambitions and work hard; you never want to feel that way again. you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be better. loyal to your core. spontaneity comes hard to you because you're extremely calculated in the risks you take. be careful of how much stress you're inducing yourself with in the name of hard work. very sarcastic!!!! and mature. you have trouble expressing your true self and your original nature. there might be childhood memories you're repressing that are causing this fear of expressing yourself + your opinions. you're characterized by a lot of independence that makes it hard for you to ask others for help. there's a love for contemplation that enables you to achieve wisdom + deep knowledge. 

saturn in the 2nd house: saturn here sets a clear mission on developing self-worth and self-confidence while not tying it to material gains. you may have suffered a period of poverty in your childhood that led you to truly understand the importance of money and how its lack can affect everyone's mental and physical health. now, there's an underlying anxiety about losing stability once again and going back to that dark place. you feel weird whenever you have too much money to spare because your parents might've been very stingy and didn't allow you to buy anything more than the necessary. because of that, you deeply value everything you buy. saturn here teaches you the importance of not obsessing over gaining money while working hard - and most importantly, with integrity - to attain worldly achievements. you shouldn't let greed obscure your morals nor should you feel worthless for not being rich yet - you're worthy of love no matter what. 

saturn in the 3rd house: you're very anxious about your intelligence; you've spent the majority of your younger years believing your intellect to be inferior. you believed yourself to be dumb as a reflection of others' perceptions of you; your parents might have been very hard on you and you struggled to meet their impossibly high standards. saturn here gives you a mission of shedding yourself off of your fears or not being skillful and smart enough, and as you grow older, you begin to understand how impressive your capabilities truly are: you have a highly analytical and perceptive yet chaotic mind, understand things with great depth, and you're extremely strategic. you must also deal with your fear of criticism and learn to express your opinions more bravely. there’s a tendency for shyness. great listener. you hate superficiality of any kind; there's a dislike for small-talk present here, you much rather learn and talk about your various interests. 

saturn in the 4th house: from a very young age, your parents placed a duty on your shoulders of being highly responsible, as if reversing the roles: you were expected to play the adult, being forced out of your childhood so you could be the one to provide stability. you might not have received much attention nor affection from your parents, which gave you a sense of feeling abandoned. to compensate for the lack of attention you received as a child, you want to overcompensate by being extra dutiful and responsible, and by being extremely caring and protective of those around you. your restrictive childhood now makes you fearful of expressing emotions + recognizing your emotional needs, and you fear that you'll never achieve happiness and a sense of fulfillment. you feel like it's your duty to speak the truth and stand up for others. very reserved about your personal life. more than anything, you want a place to feel like home; a place that you can retreat to and heal and be at peace when everything gets too much. 

saturn in the 5th house: you might feel like your light has been dimmed by a parental figure from a very young age. one or both parents might've been very harsh and insulting towards your capabilities and personality, making it hard for you to recognize your potential. there's an underlying anxiety every time you're supposed to feel happy because you fear it might be taken away from you at any moment. saturn here makes it your mission to recognize the words that were thrown at you in your childhood as them projecting their own insecurities, and for you to rebuild your sense of self through self-love and pride in yourself. even if you feel anxious whenever you're having fun, you're incredibly playful and you yearn for a lot of attention. you're very spontaneous and sociable, and you always manage for others to have a great time when around you. there's a tendency to ignore your inner child as a way of acting responsibly, which in return makes you feel a block in your creativity; and exploring your creative side is very important. you can work extremely hard, please remind yourself to take a break from time to time. 

saturn in the 6th house: you strive for perfection in everything you do. you work so hard to try to achieve it, but more often than not, you feel like you can't meet the high standards you set for yourself, which can cause a lot of frustration and self-deprecating thoughts, like believing you're not enough. this can be severely damaging for both your physical and mental health, and induce a lot of stress and overthinking. it's like you're constantly on this battle to one-up yourself, to always improve and be better. saturn here communicates the urge to understand that perfection is an ideal and not something you should strive to achieve because it'll kill your enjoyment of whatever it is that you're trying to be better at, and you have a mission to be gentler with yourself, to work on your self-critical nature and to feel proud of yourself for everything that you've achieved instead of criticizing yourself for not doing better. there's also a need to take care of your health, to keep healthy habits and not neglect your physical needs. 

saturn in the 7th house: you’re one of the most loyal people ever, you take relationships very seriously. you love consistency and understand that it's very important to nurture a relationship daily in order to keep it strong, so you're very dependable and you expect that from the people in your life too. saturn here indicates the importance of cultivating a healthy, reliable source of self-love so that your relationships with others will also remain strong. but the problem with being so committed is that you might stay in a relationship that no longer makes you happy for much longer than you want to - please remember to put yourself and your happiness first. you might also constantly wonder if there's anyone out there for you who will love you as deeply as you love others and who is as committed as you. love and forming meaningful connections might come very hard to you; it's like you're constantly putting walls between yourself and others due to your fear of vulnerability + difficulty in trusting others. 

saturn in the 8th house: you're a hard worker and very patient, extremely loyal when it comes to relationships, and disciplined. there's a tendency to fear change here, to avoid it at all costs as something painful. saturn here gives you the mission to learn to accept transformation as not only inevitable but necessary to your growth as an individual. this placement indicates a fear of abandonment due to what you've experienced in your childhood + your past relationships; now, you have difficulty trusting others because you fear being betrayed, which also causes you to be very secretive and to fear opening up to others, and to feel deeply hurt by things that others would consider insignificant. this can cause a lot of issues in your relationship with intimacy, money and your unconscious, affecting your mental health and making you indulge in unhealthy coping mechanisms. deeply spiritual, but this is something you might fear. transformation leaves room for enormous growth when it comes to wisdom. 

saturn in the 9th house: even in your day-to-day life, you're constantly concentrating on profound issues, thinking about your beliefs, philosophy, religion, etc. if you were forced into adopting a religion when you were younger, there's a chance you might discard religion now, adopting an atheist or nihilistic point of view. you're very skeptical of others' beliefs, preferring to stick to your own because you're not so impressionable, which can work to your detriment. saturn here gives you the urge to practice more open-mindedness, to broaden your perspectives with extensive learning, specialization in an area, intellectual debates and traveling. saturn also teaches you discipline. you might have a fear of expanding your horizons because you understand how harsh and cruel the world can be, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from satiating your innate curiosity. you always advocate for what you believe in, even when all others are too scared to do it, and that's your strength. as the world evolves, so do your personal beliefs and morals, which you continuously work on. 

saturn in the 10th house: you feel a very strong urge to accomplish greatness and achieve success, and you might deal with a lot of fear and anxiety because of the burden you've placed on your shoulders. the truth is: you're terrified of failure. you're a hard worker and perfectionist by nature, wanting to be in control of everything. with saturn placed here, you must learn that to fail is to be human and that there's plenty to learn from committing mistakes. you might take more responsibilities than you can handle, resulting in added stress, so you should learn to ask others for help whenever you need it. you're determined to be successful at the same time that you fear achieving everything you want and still feeling like it wasn't enough. you must learn to stop doubting yourself, and the confidence you will build throughout life will be necessary because you truly are destined for greatness, not because of destiny but the drive and zeal you possess makes you so. remember to take a break from time to time, and to cherish what you've already achieved. 

saturn in the 11th house: you have a lot of acquaintances, but only a few close friends that you trust. you're attracted to mature, serious people who have a clear life purpose, and most of your friends might be older than you. you hate superficiality of all kinds and don't want anything to do with dull people, and you take your friendships very seriously. sometimes, you might take your friendships too seriously, and they can start to become a burden to you. you need a lot of alone time for introspection and, when you’re wanting to ecape your own mind, you might fluctuate between isolation and spending entire weeks going out (even if you feel more alone than ever in the middle of a crowd). there's a clear sense of justice here, a necessity to do what's right. more than anything, you're terrified of losing your identity, of being seen as normal and ordinary, or just as a part of a crowd, and that feeling constantly nags at you whenever you're interacting with others. there's a clear mission here to not let your restless feelings take away your passion from life and to drown out your immense potential. you must be brave when determining what you want out of life, when finding the right path for you. the efforts you take into helping the collective help you grow wiser and more mature. you're very strict about who you surround yourself with, and saturn here urges you to work on accepting the differences between everybody and on your tolerance, and to ease your necessity to be in control. 

saturn in the 12th house: you feel things very intensely, and you often feel completely overwhelmed by your emotions. very sensitive, you can be fearful and insecure and often doubt yourself. here, saturn urges you to fight against your inner demons: this placement represents the fear of the unknown, the fear you feel when dealing with the uncertainty of spirituality, your deep feelings and darkest thoughts. you might fear how complex you are, and feel this sense of guilt about everything without knowing where it comes from. you might need a lot of alone time to restore your energy - but even though you tend to use isolation as a form of escapism, you yearn to become a part of the collective because you have great healing and communicative energy. the problem is that, even though there's a war going inside your mind, you don't want to ask for help because you don't want to be deemed weak or like you depend on others. you might spend a lot of time having discussions with yourself as you escape reality. you should learn to trust others and learn to face your demons instead of locking them away. the lesson here is to accept yourself for who you are. in this house, spirituality would help you achieve great wisdom. there's a potential for great talent in the arts. 

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 💄 in August 2022: Aquarius

5 Pentacles rev - 3 Pentacles - The Star rev

Regarding: Knight of Pentacles

I’m clearly getting the message that the only thing holding you back here, career wise, is you. It may not have always been that way, two 3’s here show there being some outside factor that could’ve played a role in the past, however your artist card says to look forward, not backwards, so the situation isn’t the same now. If your friends are involved in some way, you’re holding back from working with them, holding back from reuniting or even communicating, you’re burrowed into this state of mind that’s rooted in financial issues, abandonment, lack of faith, pessimism, things like that, and that may not be the reality now. Then vs. Now. It was then, it isn’t now.

You’re healing financially already, you’re better than you were, probably ever before, and Knight of Pentacles shows the daily commitment and long time effort that took forever to get you here. Celebrate yourself! There could be a promotion in the cards or some kind of recognition or raise. The only thing holding you back is a very difficult cycle you’ve already come out of, but it lingers, and the pessimism that remains. You feel you can’t, and Spirit says that is over. You’ve got more opportunity than you seem to even be aware of, a very happy family life, and the drive and ambition to do it. Unicorn nods towards creative pursuits, and Spirit says DO IT, and give it everything you’ve got 💯

Animal Oracle: Unicorn 🦄

“Indulge your creative, imaginative, and magical side through some form of artistic expression.”

Whatever the artistic vehicle through which you express your most creative self - whether it’s drawing, poetry, painting, music, acting, or any other form of creative expression - make it a priority in your life by devoting some time, energy, and perhaps even money towards this artistic pursuit. Let the longing of your heart determine what the form of your imaginative expression is, but let it be one that elicits passion and purpose. Allow it to evolve as needed, without acceding to any internal perfectionism about the end product. The process itself is where the magic is. Let that alone be your satisfaction and delight and you’ll be pleased with the results.

Whether this avocation continues as a hobby or turns into something you receive compensation for, never do it solely for the money. There’s no need to act out the starving artist scenario, but when you make monetary rewards your primary goal, you risk stifling the creative pulse that emanates from the core of who you are, potentially compromising the integrity of your artistic gift to the world. Should you ever be uncertain about following your passion with this kind of expression, take some time to observe children. Notice how innocently and imaginatively they play in their world, particularly when unhindered by social restrictions and artificial boundaries. This is a reflection of the magical child inside of you, begging to be explored and expressed. So have fun with it! 💖

Artist Oracle: FILIPPO MARINETTI

- Forward march. Looking backward ensures a broken neck.

- Your art should wage war.

- The only constant will always be contradiction.

Advice:

- Learn to Meditate

Charms:

Scarecrow 👩‍🌾 on 3 Pentacles shows you needing to gain some perspective on those you’re working with or the spirit of cooperation in your own self. More like what it is in you that’s holding you back, addressing your own issues, it’s something you need to pay conscious attention to and resolve.

Starfish ⭐️ on 6 Wands shows regenerative energy, and this is connected directly to your finances. This may be stock market or investments, things you have money in that you don’t even have to affect directly, it’s like making money while you sleep. If financial woes have affected you in the past, you’ve overcome that part of your life.

Pearl of Wisdom 🦪 on Learn to Meditate is pretty straightforward, the more you listen to your inner thoughts, the more you can question them, bring them into your conscious mind, from your unconscious habit mind, and really get to the heart of your own self. This is a note that you already have the answers that you’re in Hanged Man energy, waiting around for.