#wwdits au

[jouxlskaard]

i'm officially a genius

[the-kr8tor]

Bloodbath

Pairing: Vampire! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: Your vampire roommate accidentally gets drunk off of blood.

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, vampire hunter! Reader, wwdits au, mockumentary trope, vampire au, set in the pursuit of blood au, cw blood, cw injury, cw suggestive, fluff.

In Pursuit of Blood Masterlist

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Octobie 🎸

A request from @al1x00 — May I have garlic cloves in a heart shaped bottle please? IPOB!Hobie accidentally drinking the blood of a drunk person and now R has to deal with an incoherent tipsy vampire.(Make sure you get some proper rest and drink lots of water! Ly😽❤) --- i could not pass this one up for the halloween theme it's literally so perfect! Thank you for requesting, angel!!!

“Hobie, no!” You yell just as when he's about to lunge at a poor runner, who's unfortunate enough to jog at night, who just happens to run past you and your very drunk vampire roommate in his enormously large bat form.

The camera pans towards the yelling, lenses zooming in, spotlights shining brightly on the man in the shortest running shorts known to mankind and his entire body floating five feet off the ground as Hobie's claws latch onto his shirt. His screams echo around the park, and Hobie's bat shrieks sound above it like an endless click of a ballpoint pen.

You glance at the camera with your wide desperate eyes, mouth agape and hand pointing at the situation. “Put. Him. Down!” Yelling, you jump up, trying to grab hold of the stranger's trainers. “You've had enough blood!”

The scene shifts to you looking disheveled, hair messed up with your cheek having an unmistakable claw scratch while you hoarsely talk to the camera crew.

“Motherfucker drunk from an incredibly inebriated CEO of a shady tech company.” You explain bluntly.

The lens zooms out of your exasperated face, camera showing you hugging the large shrieking bat in your arms with your jean jacket wrapped around his flailing form whilst he tries and fails to bite and scratch you. “I tried to warn him that the fucker had every drug and cocktail flowing in his veins. But noooo, no one ever fucking listens to me!” You shake him in your arms, making the annoyed and adrenaline filled bat yell in his high pitched shriek.

Hobie's face escapes his denim prison, long ears fluttering in the breeze and fangs in full display as he tries to take a chunk out of you. You manage to dodge his attacks, face turning as far away as you could.

With a crunch of leaves underfoot, the cameraman backs away when you accidentally shove your face in the lens. Panting, the man behind the camera makes sure to keep his distance away from you and the angry bat as it zeroes in on the bleeding corpse right behind you. The body's foot twitches, and the producer takes that as a sign to anonymously call an ambulance.

“Fuck!” You stomp your foot down, and the thousand year old vampire stops his twisting and turning to look up at you with his big red button eyes. Hobie makes a sound akin to a chirp, fangs sticking out from his lip. “We're going home, Hobie.”

He trills in your arms, fuzzy head nudging your chest. You can feel how incredibly warm he is under the denim jacket, a sure fire way to tell that he is still under the influence of…everything.

“Don't flash those pretty eyes at me, you little shit.” You start to walk towards his street, hugging him tight against your chest like a chihuahua gone wild. He sneers, and you realize that he's taking a peek into your head and he did not like that thought one bit. “Get out of your head!” You squeeze him in your arms.

Smirking, you flash an image into your mind of him wearing a fancy three piece suit with a look of sheer egotistical pleasure while counting wads of dirty money. He shouts gutturally, now regretting the little peep inside your mind. The sound makes a few passers by look at you weirdly. The entire camera crew following you around doesn't help. “It's a toy, mind your fucking business.” You say to one of them, making them walk faster away from you.

Sighing, you finally see the dark gothic house around the corner. Its spires just screams ‘there’s a vampire living here!’ and its stained glass windows, circular topiaries, and wrap around porch says that the person living inside wasn't born in the same century as anyone else living in the same street. You still have no idea how no one has noticed their thousand year old neighbor. You love the place though, it's home and you wouldn't have it any other way. Even though the pipes need to be replaced with ones that don't give you some type of rusted water related disease whenever you take a drink from the faucet.

Your trainers stomp on the porch, juggling in between carrying Hobat and getting your keys from your pockets. He tries to escape your hold, head wiggling out of the denim burrito you wrapped him in. You can feel his toes wiggling on your stomach. “Don't you dare, Hobart.” With a stern tone, he falls limp, chirping, sounding like a whine. “Don't be cute with me,” you struggle to find the right key in your carabiner. “we're almost there.” You say much softer this time when the door unlocks.

The second you open the door, Hobie wiggles out and then flies off into the house. He zigzags, making questionable turns as he flies under the influence with his large wings flapping about and accidentally swatting away hundred year old vases and furniture.

“I'll let him empty his energy before I try to sober him up.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, arms crossed as you watch him fly around with endearment. He looks and sounds adorable just squeaking and flying about.

Closing the door, the crew stands just behind you, capturing the perfect moment when Hobie, again, a thousand year old vampire with abilities beyond human comprehension and years of forgotten knowledge from fallen civilizations inside his mind, flies into the far end of the hall. Crashing into the mauve wallpaper, leaving a Hobat shaped mark of dried blood from his unfortunate victims.

His claws try to keep him on the wall but his bat body has run out of steam. He slides down the wall, claw marks dragging down and scratching the wallpaper.

You briskly walk towards him, concerned, you walk a bit slower to feign nonchalance in front of the camera. Once you make it to him, you bend at the waist to look down at his stretched out form. His wings are unfurled, belly up, and ears perked as he sees you in his vision.

“You done now, Hobie?”

With a puff of black smoke, he returns to his form. His legs are sticking up and folded against the wall, arms stretched out next to him with his lopsided grin thrown at you.

“‘ello, lovie.” He chuckles, or giggles more like, as he makes grabby hands up at you. “What am I doin' on the floor? We havin’ our fun time on the floor now?”

The camera crew looks at each other with furrowed brows and questions swirling in their heads. You spare them a look of embarrassment that quickly morphs into fake ignorance.

“Not today,” you say gently, his red eyes sparkling in the yellow light of the hallway. You always wonder why he chose yellow bulbs in some parts of the house including his room. You have a feeling it's because it reminds him of the unobtainable warmth of the sun. “You need your coffin.”

“Will you join me?” He asks, fingers flexing about as he beckons you over. You indulge him, leaning down to let him grasp at your jaw. Surprisingly, he holds you carefully like you're the most valuable thing in the house instead of all the artifacts he gathered throughout the centuries just laying about the home.

“You need to sober up, and you can't do that when I'm hogging all the space in the coffin.”

“That's why I keep tellin' you that we should get a bigger coffin that can fit the both of us together.” He brushes his thumb across your cold bitten lips. Gasping like he got a brilliant idea, he pats each of your cheek, squishing it in his hands, careful not to scratch you with his sharp nails. “We should buy one tomorrow!”

You chuckle, hands reaching up to bracelet your fingers around his wrists, grabbing them to make him unlatch himself off of you. “Okay, sleep first then we'll go out to look for one.”

A wide grin spreads across his face. “Really?”

You subtly (or think that it's subtle enough) kiss his pulse point where you would feel his heartbeat if his heart still beats against his chest. “Really, we'll get a red velvet lined one.”

“How about a coffin with a telly in it so you could watch your shows?”

You smile, “I'd like that. For now, shower first because you smell like the floor of a pub.”

“Still fit though, hm?” Hobie winks, but with his drunkenness, he looks like he's spasming. It earns a guffaw from you, finding it adorable.

“Very handsome, my—” you glance sideways at the camera still recording, you've forgotten about them for a second. Clearing your throat, you help him up on his feet. “Let's go before I puke.” Playing it cool, you still look like your pants fell down to your feet.

Even drunk off his mind, Hobie sees through it, arms snaking along your middle, putting a show in front of the camera by shoving his face into the crook of your neck. Not biting, just smiling against your flushed skin. You can feel his fangs poking and prodding at you playfully.

You curse silently, holding him properly and hiding your flustered expression from the camera as you turn your back from the crew.

—

Locking the bathroom door, you made sure that the camera crew had enough tea and biscuits in the dining room before walking upstairs to check on Hobie. The crews’ chatter echoing from the vents prove that they're well occupied and distracted. Turning around, you face Hobie with a soft smile as he lounges in the bubbly bathtub that smells like Halloween incarnate.

“How's the water?” You ask, closing the distance and sitting down on the closed lid of the toilet to look at him fondly.

Hobie places his cheek on top of the edge of the black bathtub, cheek squished on the porcelain. “Just right, love.” He smiles as steam rises from the water, condensation rising up to the forest coloured tiles, “and the children?”

“Occupied with my expensive biscuits from my godmother.” You place your chin on your palm, eyes flicking from his wet face down to his shimmering torso. “You seem to be having fun with my bath bomb.”

He chuckles, fangs peeking out from his lips. A sign that he's extremely happy, you know it well. “It's red!” With a handful of bath water, he pours it from above to show you its crimson hue. “You're such a big fan of me aren't you? Mimickin’ a fraction of my power.”

“You bathe in a tub full of blood? I don't remember you ever doing that, Hobart.” With a roll of your eyes, you stand up only to sit back down next to the tub. Sitting cross-legged, you place your arms on the cool edge of the porcelain, eyes staring up at Hobie with pure affection while your index finger swirls patterns in the glittery red water. “Sounds like a great bath though.”

“Says the vampire hunter.” He dabs a droplet of water onto the tip of your nose, watching it slowly drip down into the tub. “Stop it with the bloody Hobart, thought we got past that months ago.” He seems completely sober by now, the blood juice box (that may or may not have come from your veins) helped a lot in flushing his system. You always kept them fresh in his freezer next to your orange popsicles.

“Whatever you say, Hobat.” You wink, feeling relaxed with the warmth from the water and the cinnamon pumpkin smell.

Hobie smiles softly instead of scoffing like you thought he would. A single fang peeks out from under his lip, reminding you of an adorable cat. He reaches for your hand closest to him, and then slowly, he puts his head atop your hand, nuzzling close to you. Thumb brushing along your scratch mark on your cheek, he looks apologetic while he heals it with his touch alone. Literally, it's nonexistent now that he poured a fraction of his power atop your warm skin.

Your heart squeezes in your chest. “Just curious, can you turn into a cat?”

“Is that not in any of your tomes?” He raises a brow, red eyes hazy from the hot water and tender affection from you.

You shrug, laying your head down on your arm so that you're facing him adjacently. “I remember reading that it's a rare ability.”

“Yeah?” His eyes soften, leaning ever closer to you. You can feel his cold touch amidst the warmth of the water as his lips gently caress your jaw. From the tip of your jawline down to your chin, he kisses you with so much affection that your breath hitches in your throat and nothing in your mind remains but his lips upon your own. “Tell you what,” he says against your waiting lips. “I'll tell you in exchange for a proper kiss.” He didn't need to open his mouth to say those words to you, you can hear his deep voice in your mind. Whispering those words only for you.

“Deal,” you reply in your mind, and he grins, showing you his fangs that have never scared you. Sharp ends that have always been gentle against your soft skin, fangs that were meant to leave you bone dry, but he never does. Only leaving you woozy on your feet, happy that you've helped him, content in the arms of someone you were meant to kill— taught to kill. You're glad you didn't that day, that day you got close with your wooden stake mere inches away from his heart that you now adore.

He kisses you, and you don't mind the copper taste anymore as the kiss gets sweeter than ambrosia and as saccharine as nectar whilst he pulls you into the tub with him.

Support banner by @/cafekitsune

Custom banners by @the-shroom-garden

[lucillenadelulu]

small AU where Guillermo chose to grow old... (sorry!)

.... and Nandor visits him on his deathbed.

[gummycube]

whatever. nadja furry

[mem0-s-mem0s]

pining cowboys hell yeah🤠

[blingblong55]

All I can think of now is a proper what we do in the shadows! 141 AU, where the gang are a coven of vampires and there’s a documentary crew following them around. 🫧

Price is the oldest, perhaps a famous outlaw from over a thousand years ago. He views his coven as his children.

Gaz has been his companion for the longest. He was a knight or a soldier. Price has fought in a few wars to give himself something to do over the years, but couldn’t stand the thought of his new comrade and pseudo-child Kyle getting killed. He was far too young to die, so Price made sure he wouldn’t.

He met Ghost next when he was running one of his many criminal empires (again, he wanted something to do). Ghost had joined as a low level thug but quickly worked up the ranks to become one of his inner-circle. He was a cold blooded killer with little remorse - or so Price thought. Once he’s come to know of Simon’s upbringing and life, filled with hardship and pain, John knew he couldn’t just leave the lost soul alone. He deserved a chance to heal and make real, lasting connections with people who wouldn’t hurt or leave him, so Price turned him.

Soap and Grim are the newest additions to the coven. One of them probably became his familiar after being dared by the other, and they quickly worked their way into his unbeating heart. Price worried a lot for his two youngest children and they were giving him grey hairs after thousands of years without (how could be not worry with their love of explosives and lack of self preservation?) so he decided that, so he could keep a good eye on them and make sure that they didn’t get hurt, Johnny and R/n should join him and his older children in undeath.

Price was wary of the crew filming this ‘documentary’ about them, but his two youngest just seemed so happy to have new friends to play with, so he allowed it. Ghost would be the most guarded, happily taking care of a few of the crew who got too close, thought it would be funny to come to work with a crucifix in their pocket, or made a snide comment towards one of his family. Gaz is cheeky, friendly, and happy to joke around with them, and probably gives them the most actually useful information. He’s the only reason the documentary can actually be called factual or educational. Soap and Grim are happy to have new people to mess with. They like to jumpscare the crew by flying in their face as bats, appear out of nowhere, hypnotise them and convince them to act silly, and stage nerf gun wars with everyone in the house - cameramen included.

hear me out!

Graves is Simon the Devious (ironic ik)

The cameramen never get used to this, never. Price, oh that poor man, he wishes at times he didn't have a soft spot for his children but then again, this is what he chose

I would also like to introduce the two dumb little young vampires, Johnny and grim, not only did they both dare each other to become familiars but their dumbasses didn't know the other was going to go through with it!!! They end up finding out when Gaz introduces them to each other...

Three days into being familiars, they set off a bomb, nearly kills them but father senses tingle and Price finds them in time.

Five days into being familiars, they nearly die in six explosions, 2 car accidents and one orea choking accident, so that's when Price decides its time to make them vampires, he knows they are unkillable unless they step into the sun, which they almost have....14 times so far-...make that 15 times

[wild-flowerhoney]

death eaters what we do in the shadows au (which is just. a documentary au if we want to be picky ig)

evan: the dark lord wants to conquer the world, which sounds like a good idea at first.

regulus: but after the first week you just start thinking "why am i doing this?" and there's no good answer really.

barty: yeah, it gets boring FAST.

regulus: of course it's a trap! why would the dark lord want to go on a stroll through muggle london?!

evan: to see how much of it we've conquered! and when he finds out that it's just grimmauld place he's going to kill us!

barty: well if you think he's gonna "QUACK" us then maybe we should "QUACK" him first.

regulus: you want us to "quack" him?

barty: if you think he's gonna do it first then yes!

evan: let's not discuss this any further, someone could hear us.

regulus: also, can he even die?

bellatrix: i heard them plotting to murder you, my lord.

barty: she speaks the bullshit!

regulus: we simply floated the idea, my lord.

bellatrix: you didn't float it, you plotted it!

evan: plotting and floating are very similar, to be fair.

*door slams open, all three scream*

peter: oh- i didn't-

barty: are you happy now, pettigrew? you just scared the shit out of all three of us.

regulus: so you don't knock anymore? hmm? is this the new you?

evan: this fucking guy-

[stephpotterart]

Cowboy Nandor, as I mentioned a few days ago.

The process video of this bad boy is up on my Patreon!

[ahogettena]

spent like half an hour combing through my drafts just to find the what we do in the dark shadows au post bcs yeah i have STILL not moved on from that idea i was cooking

[our-flag-means-yippee]

My ocs as smiling friends (most of them don’t fit but oh well)

Charlie - Enzo

Pim - Rod

Allan - Lionel Garnier

Glep - Finley

Mr Boss - Horace

Smormu - Princey Fluffernutter

[vapmie]

HAD GET IT OUT MY HEAD MAN

I'm a slut for a good ol' swap aus, I eat ti up so fast and so delightfully and just wonderful treat I must indulge

So, yknow time just infodump of spefic over vampire Guillermo because it is just a must

He's around 300 years old because I thought I was being so clever because in canon, he's in his 30s, but still lives with Nadja and Laszlo and now nandor his familar

And like first episode you know how nandor get describe as like a big turkey trying rule the farm. Well, this au with Guillermo in his place describes like "big peacock who trying show off anything and everything"

I have a whole analysis, but at the same time, it's just a very fun vampire Guillermo self-indulgence that I wished for

[the-kr8tor]

could i get a garlic cloves and ❣️ for IPOB! hobie, where him and reader are just chilling and being their flirty cute selves and the camera crew has been there the whole time just like 🧍‍♂️

(bonus points if hobie teases reader about when they let him drink cuz he was practically starving himself)

pls and thank you 🙏🏾

Hehehehe hope you like it!!! I love when an ipob request falls into my lap

Pairing: Vampire! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw suggestive, cw blood mention, cw injury. Vampire au, wwdits au, mockumentary au, in pursuit of blood au, FLUFF.

Katy's one year celebration 🎉

In Pursuit of Blood Masterlist

You hold an ice pack to your tender neck, condensation dripping from the thin towel covering the ice down to your arm. “—So that's how my great aunt turned into a chupacabra.”

The man behind the camera shares a look towards his producer. The harsh lights of the set stings your sensitive eyes, a dizzying feeling comes in waves, turning your head into mush. You wobble slightly on the plush seat, head lolling to the side as the producer gives you a concerned look.

“I'm fine.” You sniff, giving them an unconvincing smile. The ache on your neck pinches when you fix your posture, making you wince. The sound guy offers you a juice box from somewhere. The drink barely shows on the camera as you raise your eyebrow at the man. “D’you carry that around wherever you go?” You ask but you still take it. Surprisingly, it's still cold.

A familiar cool breeze rushes past behind you, the camera could only see a flash of black smoke before it zooms out to see Hobie's chin perched on top of your head. You hide your smile behind the juice box, hand reaching out to pat his cheek.

“You shouldn't be up and about after that.” Hobie says against your hair, voice muffled, the audio guy is irked by it. The vampire sends him his piercing gaze, red eyes glowing briefly before you reach up again to hold his nape gently. To which he calms down almost immediately. His head cranes down to rest on your shoulder while he sits on the arms of the chair for comfortability.

“Has anyone told you that you get clingy after you feed?” You ask, the straw of the orange juice is perched in between your lips.

Hobie takes the unopened juice box from your lap, and then slides the straw away from your lips to punch a hole in the box. You watch with shining eyes despite your dizziness. He hands it to you, concern still evident on his face.

“Only the ones who survive after.” His fingers brush along your neck, the presumed bite still hidden behind the ice pack. “You sure you're alright?”

The crew stays silent throughout the whole ordeal, afraid that they might ruin the moment or startle their subjects as if they're filming a scene for national geographic where two bugs communicate to each other through their antennae.

You take a sip from your juice while he observes your tender flesh peeking out from under the pack. “It was just a nip, Hobie.” You lean away to his dismay, that you immediately correct by taking the cold compress away to show him that it wasn't such a big deal as two pinpricks in the shape of his fangs have stopped bleeding a while ago. “Besides, you were starving. It's either me or Bob the sound guy.” From your peripheral, you see Bob's eyes widen.

“Still, my fault for forgettin’ to feed again.” Hobie takes the ice pack from your thigh to place it back atop your bite, he doesn't mind the cold when his flesh is just as freezing.

“Maybe next time I'll bring you to my childhood bully’s house.” You tease, “or maybe even wall street.”

“Isn't that against your family's code or some shit?” He chuckles, the camera crew feels like they're watching something they shouldn't. But they're not leaving until they get their content.

“Living with a vampire is against our hunter's code, but here I am.” You smile, sipping loudly to annoy him. It doesn't work as he stares back at you with endearment, red eyes soft just for you.

Hobie grins, fangs in full show. “‘m startin’ to think you like gettin’ fed on.”

You choke, coughing while the crew all share a knowing look. Composing yourself, you return your eyes back to the very smug vampire next to you. Lips curling into a smirk, you decide to tease him back. “And what of it, hm? What are you planning to do, vampire?” You lean closer, tips of your nose brush along his own. His wine red eyes reflect your own flirty expression. “Drain me dry?”

You and Hobie seem to forget the handful of people and the cameras watching the two of you.

He smirks back, playful eyes winking back at you. “Don't threaten me with a good time, love.” Tossing the ice pack away, breaking a few vintage glasses, he moves his head while his palm rests on your jaw. Leaning towards your bare neck, his lips are dangerously close to your flesh. “Or you could do the bitin’ this time.”

You breathily sigh, skin on fire, the butterflies in your stomach feel like they're having a party. Your eyes flick over to the crew, whose eyes are avoiding your own. You feel his lips graze your tender bite mark. Your hands sliding behind his neck, palms kneading at his skin before you yank him away by the scruff of his neck.

“Ow.” He feigns hurt with a lopsided grin, you smile back but with you subtly gesturing towards the crew, he immediately clamps up.

The documentary crew feels like they struck gold when they just caught a flustered vampire on camera for the very first time. Or so they thought.

Hobie tilts his head eerily, sending shivers down each crew member's spine, almost as if he's sucking the air out of the atmosphere. “Leave before your ratings turn from teens and up to somethin’ that will get your show canceled before you could even air it.”

With the sound of filming equipment quickly getting lifted up, and footsteps retreating away towards the front doors— your giggles can still be heard as Hobie shuts and locks the doors without lifting a finger.

[indigayghost]

I'm cooking an post s3 AU where Nandor goes to super slumber

And then like he wakes up seventy or eighty years after and find the gang still there obvs

Honestly this is just context for me to think about vamp Guillermo

In the au he was turned by Nadja and Laszlo (they mixed their blood because they decided it was unfair to choose just one of them to turn Guillermo) like ten years after Nandor went to super slumber

So Guillermo is in his forties, sexily grizzly. Long haired and bearded.

I'm not sure if I'll make him go full on leather daddy or just a sexyer more confident version of himself.

Because of the double turning I'm making him extra spicy vampire because I can and it's fun so his eyes turned golden all time so he has to use sun glasses and he has pointy ears

His turning was complicated, he had the dying fase, the "Oh shit I think we actually killed him dead" fase, the monster fase (Laszlo calls it the sexy fase), the killing fase (Just like the monster fase, but without the monster form) and the "shit what does exactly he eats?" fase

I think he can eat human food, it just tastes bland and it doesn't nourish him. Human blood is good, vampire blood makes him extra powerful and extra murderfull.

His cool vampiric power are illusions, extra good hypnosis and he can make people paranoid.

He and Laszlo just aren't married because it feels weird to say it like that and he's in a qpr with Nadja they just don't know there's a word for it and Colin Robinson is There the way he always is he's That Guy In The Polycule™

[gummycube]

that collar has the address of the vampiric council hq if she ever goes too astray, thankfully nobody in that group can read or cares to look at it

[memosminifridge]

v-day exchange gift for @butchybats​! 💗 Guillermo’s vampire outfit from this MCR-themed haunted house au fic from a previous exchange: Baby You’re a Haunted House

bonus nandermo under the cut 🧛

[baronafanas002]

Who is this vampire that bit me?