#like the good kind obviously
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i love sleep token &&& i would LOVE if you went to go like my titty pic i posted earlier 👀🤭
#grace talks#also in my bed not feeling the greatest#so i deserve some attention#like the good kind obviously#give me a kiss#okay that’s all#sorry this sounds very desperate#oh well#tunes#Spotify
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taur doodles cuz it looked fun :-)
#i drew this fast so it is not very good. dw abt it#hes not like this permanently obviously it was just fun to try#my art#fursona#taur#taur furry#furry#anthro#ocs#dog#canine#leonberger#american akita#siberian husky#doodle#sketch#i dont ever draw feral art anymore i kind of forgot how to draw four legs lol..
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eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him
#i do think that this pit of anger was eventually covered and soothed by the ponds#but he didn't adress it and he couldn't even look at it until he was twelve#when he stopped pushing back and repressing everything and finally allowed himself to exist as he was#but ok listen#its all layed out in the first 3 episodes of season 5 and in the way amy sees him#episode 1. here is the new doctor he is energetic and reeling and fun#episode 2. the space whale comparison. here is the new doctor. he is unthinkably ancient and almost godlike but he is so so kind#and patient and good. he is ancient and lonely but he can't stand to see children cry. so the doctor helps people#episode 3. daleks. the doctor is a soldier. these are his age old enemies. he wants them dead and he will stop at nothing#all logic and reason vanish. he is hitting the dalek with a pipe and yelling his head off while amy watches in horror#like obviously we know why but amy didnt#this is not a sane or rational man he is unstable and angry#and in that episode he was stripped back to what he largely is: hate#you would make a good dalek ect ect ect#anyway 3 episodes with 3 very distinct and equally definitely traits layed out like: here you go#i don't like elevens era much but those first 3 episodes were great#doctor who#eleven#amy#eleventh doctor#matt smith#dr who#dw#i mean idk this is what river literally had to spell out for him#eleven was careening completely out of control#how long til doctor means warrior indeed?#mine
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Blind side (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Gaster#Sans closing his good eye every once in a while and keeping his blind eye open - obviously he does so in-game as well so it's a style-match#It's just interesting in the context of him being textually-confirmed blind in Handplates hehe#There's a level of vulnerability there! Not more than closing both eyes around someone - and potentially also distrust!#''I'm baring myself blind right now but /you/ don't need to know that'' - it suits him ♪#Especially when he does it around Papyrus! Because obviously Papyrus knows about his partial blindness#But when he's trying to be duplicitous - the way he looks at him sidelong with his blind eye when he's trying to lie unsuccessfully ugh <3#And again-again it being about how much he trusts Papyrus! That he can be a little lazy or spacey and Papyrus will help him!#Also something about his entire right side being impaired - pawing around with his plated hand for something he can't see on that side#The dynamics! Internal and external! Very good like them lots#And then there's Gaster lol ♪ Throw him into the mix I'm sure it won't make a mess at all haha#I guess he's visiting? Just spacing out - he and Sans have a lot on their minds - separately haha#I do love how Sans pushes Gaster to be kind to Papyrus - very deservedly! He wants Papyrus to be happy of course#And he's obviously still angry with Gaster a lot but how might that present itself when Papyrus is Papyrus at Gaster hehe#Even just in that small jokey way of ''you tryin' to step on my turf?'' hehehe#Especially since the comparison wouldn't even come up if he had two functioning eyes hm?? Right Gaster???? Lol#Speaking of that scene and Sans' partial blindness tho ughhughuhg <3 <3 The fact that Sans stands with Gaster to his blind side#It's the vulnerability/distaste/confidence of it all! He's grown up so much it's all right there in how he holds himself#That he either trusts Gaster enough not to attack him - starting to believe him - or that he has enough faith in himself to protect himself#And only looking at him with his peripherals unless he looks directly at him hghhhgh I am Normal about shot composition I swear lol#Also I like how that last panel turned out lol - Sans just appears at the bottom of the steps like how's it going. care to gtfo thx
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Listen....is it just me, or are they kind of soft with each other?
Like most of these are super high-stress situations for Kevin. But at championships, Kevin resident-drama-queen Day takes the time to tell Aaron that the score isn't Renee's fault?? And like he lets her step in a means of comfort at the banquet???
See also: Kevin trusting Renee with Jean's number when Kevin is extremely protective over him????
#yes I know I'm biased let me have this#obviously renee is a sweetheart but can we acknowledge how freaking GOOD she is at exy?#like there's a few parts in aftg where she comes up with a bunch of strategies and they work#what matters to renee is kindness and what matters to kevin is exy so idk they might be perfect for each other or something#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#the raven king#the kings men#the sunshine court#tfc#trk#tkm#tsc#kevin day#renee walker#jean moreau
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WINTER BREAK
much like marriage matches, the stakes are pretty high for getting into the cardinalate. you might be a little on edge if the brother that's been earmarked for the role isn't really jazzed about the whole thing, in addition to trying to convince the pope that it's in his best interest to let this happen.
A Renaissance Court: Milan Under Galeazzo Maria Sforza, Gregory Lubkin
eventually I'm going to get the whole cast of sforza siblings drawn. there's just. a lot of them.
#in true oldest sibling/head of the house fashion galeazzo will continue to bring up ascanio's early clerical life up until he dies lmao#anyway ascanio's got a weird thing going on with fathers. there's that portrait story and also whatever the fuck was up with#ludovico like i get that it was probably his way of going heyyyyy! look at me! i'm just a little guy! i'm not a threat! but it's also very#veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. something#italian renaissance tag#komiks tag#lmao i finally decided to bite the bullet and make a whole separate blog for a future sforza comic like at this point im locked in and#committed to the sforzas.#MOVING BACK TO ASCANIO it's kind of. uh. sometimes i'll read a chapter of the biography and it'll describe something that's#very obviously a major depressive episode and i'm like. man. look at that. you gave a perfectly good would be dynast a major#depression disorder. imagine the problems he would've caused if they had anti depressants back then
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holy shit I did NOT realize how popular my "I will remove my teeth, for I want to remain kind despite my anger" quote is. I just googled it for fun to see what would come up, a bunch of people are quoting it not knowing who its from, an artist called Kuma made an album titled that, so bizzare
#also people are misatributing the quote to kuma and the first google result for the quote attributes it to them#which is kind of upsetting but not a huge deal whatever#its cool it seems to have entered culture like that#i get very mixed feelings about those instances where something I made got WAY more popular than i expected and#people are reposting it or using it without attributing it to me#i both feel bad when stuff isnt credited to me but also good that my art has expanded beyond my reach#its out of my control kind of and other people have it now#which IS what i want for my art and how i generally think art should be#but it is also obviously causes some anxiety to lose control and really full ownership of something that is yours#i think also there is anxiety about something of mine being taken by someone bigger than me#since they can just claim it as their own and most people will know them as the origin#not talking specifically about this quote btw just any of my work#ive definetly been thinking about that hbomberguy vid lol#i hope any of this made sense im a little high rn
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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some later kidlu stuff (part 2 - nsfw)
#kidlu#monkey d luffy#eustass kid#my art#op vamp au#described in alt text#i was supposed to draw them fucking but i got sidetracked by Gentol Hand Holding. as you do.#hmm context: this is post runaway arc. luffy decides he should have sex to see how much of what he wanted was really his or mingo's#he picks good ol eustass for it cause he's tall brutish with a fluffy coat and he kind of know him(ish big ish) but kid is like. gentle#and shit which leaves luffy a bit disturbed among other things. like kid's still a bit rude about it but yknow. smth obviously not right#with luffy and he kind of wants to know whats going on but wont ask directly so he goes with it. which leads to that bathtub scene.
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Tbh, I think the writers kind of fumbled by making so many of these characters not be adamant for the side there supporting! 😭😭
WHYYY is Aemond the only team green member team green??? Whyyyy is Jace the only team black member locking in (won the north, vale and the freys)
Can y’all get up or something ?? 😭😭😭
#btw obviously more people are doing stuff#Baela on moondancer ect#and like Aegon actually trying to be a good king#but so much of it feels so dubious#at some parts I understand because it’s people being wary of war#but after Luke & Jaehaerys these people SHOULD have been passionate about there cause#like u see it more now with Rhaenyra but idk#I kind of preferred how the book actually made these characters deaths impacfc#Luke’s death started the war#idk maybe I’m just complaining for nothing#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd season 2#hotd s2#hotd spoilers#aemond targaryen#Aemond#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#jace velaryon#team black#team green
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i feel like there are so many people who correctly identify what rgu is saying about the role of the prince being harmful, and how utena could never really help anthy through it because of how dehumanizing it is to view someone as a thing to be saved etc etc. but then immediately jump to the opposite extreme of "utena only views anthy as an object and not a human being and her desire to help people was always inherently selfish and bad" and it's just . you have to realize it's more complicated than that. surely.
#just because you understand that utena isn't perfect doesn't mean she's not . good. or at the very least trying to be#this isn't like about a specific post or anything just kind of a general trend in the fandom that has annoyed me for the longest time#and that i've probably posted about before if i had to guess#i am very defensive of utena always and forever. do not be mean to him i will bite#but also do not ignore her flaws obviously. just don't exaggerate them. some of you are basically just saying she's no better than akio#which you have to realize is ridiculous right#revolutionary girl utena#utena#m
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y'know what i find interesting about sun now that hw2 is out?
i've seen various interpretations of him since the game's release with all the new dialogue and scenes we got ranging from "stressed and in bad need of a cigarette and a three year vacation" to "petty bitch" to "caring but pushed to his limit" and like
the thing is, they're all right
he probably played favorites with some of the kids--cassie's testament combined with his general mannerisms certainly make me think so. sun is a little mean to the player character. he insults you, he talks down to you, he treats you like you don't have two brain cells to rub together when you screw up. in the carousel level, he's clearly begrudging that he can't simply do the job himself. he is petty and he is stressed and he is frustrated
you'd think, then, that sun would happily let moon do what he will with the human employees he clearly detests, with the kids that obviously frustrate him. you'd think he'd make good on his threats to turn off the lights himself, to let these people get what they deserve. how many times have we dreamed of petty revenge on the shitty customers and coworkers we've had to deal with in our jobs?
he doesn't. instead, he resigns himself to a life of isolation to keep moon in check, doing whatever he can to keep anyone else from getting hurt or dying. despite all his hot air, sun cares. deeply, selflessly. when we see him during the ruin segments of hw2, he's shaking in fear, hiding in scant light he has access to in his and moon's horrible room, out of easy reach from most, trying in the only way he can to keep more tragedy from occurring. he knows how bad his situation is; he's acutely aware of it in a way most of the other animatronics don't seem to be. his actions speak far louder than his words, and god knows he has plenty to say
sun is a deeply flawed person who tries to do good in spite of it all, and to me, that's fascinating
#fnaf sb#fnaf ruin#fnaf hw2#fnaf sun#idk i've just been mulling this over since hw2 came out#ik some people were disappointed with his mannerisms#none of this to say sun is perfect. he obviously isn't#it's just far more interesting to see his good intentions contrasted with his harsh personality#idk. he's just so big and loud and grand that it's just kind of tragic to me that he makes himself so small and hidden#for the sake of people he doesn't even like most of the time#anyway he lives rent free in my head forever thanks
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While I think the moment in cql where Meng Yao– still bleeding from a stab wound in his chest btw– realizes Lan Xichen is in danger and decides to save the man who was so kind to him in cloud recesses is cute and all, nothing will ever beat the book for me. Little bookkeeper civilian Meng Yao, who has not had a serious chance to make his dreams of being a cultivator come true in fucking years, out of nowhere gets the fucking sect leader of Gusu Lan dropped right in his lap?
It's such a great example of Meng Yao's multilayered motivations to me. Because is civilian Meng Yao thinking of all the ways he can use this? Of the fact that having a great sect leader in his debt is the best thing that could happen to him? Duh. Obviously.
Is he very purposeful about appearing to Lan Xichen as a kind young man full of untapped potential, brave and willing to put his life on the line even though he really doesn't know so much about about cultivators, no sir, except a little he picked up here and there, because you see his father– 👉👈 Of course he is!
But the way through which he does that is... by actually saving Lan Xichen's life, at no doubt significant personal risk. The way he makes Lan Xichen believe he's kind and selfless is by... being kind and selfless. Just because he's doing it on purpose doesn't mean he's not doing it.
Is it lying if you want people to think you're nice and so you're nice to them? Isn't that just called being nice? Yes, he is very purposeful about how he appears to people, and very carefully crafts an image based on what he wants them to think of him, but most of the time he does that simply by... actually being the kind of person he wants to appear as. He still did the kind things he did, regardless of his motivations for doing them.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#meng yao#jin guangyao#lan xichen#rs: i wish it could've been you#I think for a guy like nmj the reason this 'fakeness' is scary is because it makes him unpredictable#meng yao COULD be nice to you because he wants you to think well of him and the best way to do that is simply being nice.#OR he could be planning to kill you later. you have no way of knowing which one it is.#but like... the existence of the latter– while obviously very troubling!– doesn't really make the former manipulation in and of itself#but both people in universe and the fandom frustratingly often take it as such#'i want this person to like me so i'm gonna be nice to them' <- this is not manipulation. this is just interacting with people.#anyway this dual motivation probably also applies to show meng yao. who is scrambling to find something else now that he's been banished.#but the reason the novel grips me so much is little civilian a-yao doesn't even *know* lan xichen yet.#it's the journey of this at first being very inpersonal- both as an opportunity and as a heroic act#(the impression he's giving being that he saved a stranger because he's just that kind of person 😇)#and over the course of their time spent hiding together becomes... very very personal.#meng yao coming in with a very general plan that he could charm any kind of person with and slowly adjusting it to fit lxc#but how is that so different from just... getting to know a person and realizing what kind of relationship you want to have with them?#I also just think it's cute to have a-yao get bonked over the head with the realization that this guy is so fucking NICE what the FUCK?#no way he's this lucky. good shit doesn't *happen* to him where's the catch with this guy??? hello???#lucky of course both on a personal level and for his practical goals. i loveeee both sides of a-yao's brain screaming in tandem
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love that one scene in aftg where aaron minyard is just washing dishes <3 and kevin is being pathetic on the beanbag chair in the other room <3
#their silent mastery of coexistence and being in each other's presence without actually being there for each other#direct inspiration for all this and heaven too#because they're already good at this actually several times when kevin is like depressed aaron's chilling around him or watching over him#like taking up andrew's default role#and in ataht andrew asks him to look after kevin and how could he say no to that yk? obviously he'll let kevin stay and rot h#he remembers that he's used to that but this version of kevin rot...at 28 years of age when it is meant to be his prime years of success#what happened to kevin i wonder...#he'd fall in love with the first hand to show him kindness#aftg#kevin day#aaron minyard#kevaaron
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I stg if I see one more "Justice for medusa's TRUE story!" post I'm gonna kill someone.
(TW: Assault mention)
The medusa is assaulted by posidon then cursed by athena for being assaulted in her temple only appears in Ovid's Metamorphoses, which is written as a purposeful subversion of Greco-roman myths. most are reframed or rewritten from just kinda a thing that exists or a black and white moral tale of why you shouldn't be hubristic to full on tragedies on the part of the person often getting their comeuppance or the monster. Heck in book 13 we get a love story starring Polyphemus, the cyclops from the Odyssey.
In general mythology, Medusa is just another monster. Ovid revises the myth to turn it into a tragedy. I absolutely love ovid's work, he does so many clever things with the myths, but for the love of the gods its the furthest from the real version you can get
#And yeah obviously its greek mythology so theres no set canon and you can kind of pick and choose tellings#but Ovid's one isn't a tradition of belief its just literature#its damn good literature but in terms of religion its like claiming good omens is part of the christian canon#classics#ancient history#tagamemnon#ancient rome#greek mythology#medusa#ovid#latin literature#ancient greece#mythology
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Medical racism isn't important to address just because it's mean to be racist to patients (I mean, it is mean), but because medical racism kills people. It contributes to systemic suffering of those deemed non-white, and the disinformation that spreads about non-white people.
#politics#racism#racism tw#medical racism tw#i've noticed my modern medical textbooks are trying to be more explicitly includive (objectively good)...#...but i don't think it should stop there. in fact i worry sometimes that people will see broad inclusion...#...as the only goal to achieve when i think more active measures should be taken to address and fix the inherent problems of racism#medical racism isn't the only kind of racism obviously but man... hearing the stories about those who faced it terrify me#it's a nightmare to think about and i can't express just HOW important it is to vehemently oppose letting it fester#something i've noticed because again my textbooks make more of an effort...#...but then i got to a lab and only one of those expensive human models weren't white and like. it's a little thing but it makes me think
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