#like the african prince scam

[wikipediafag]

i wish ppl texting u for jobs was real.

[tcoops16]

I’ve been on Tumblr for many years, and ever since the whole #TwitterShutdown fiasco started, I’ve been getting a Ton of Lewd/18+ bots following me.

Today was the first crypto bot attempting their hand at it, and all I can ask is… what took you so long cryptobot!?

In all honesty, it hasn’t been any better on Twitter. One of my accounts gets nothing but “Free OF” & “Help Me Manage My Crypto” spam messages. And I just saw one come in through the Twitter account for work last week.

It’s this generation’s “African Prince” scam. And guess what, those still show up in my emails spam folder! lol

Alright, rambling over. I’m just so tired of it.

[teacup-gathering-itself]

Give me muggleborn students trolling eachother via howlers and voice changers but they accidentally use muggle jokes that the pureblood kids don’t understand (think Nigerian Prince scams) so it spirals out of control.

“I didn’t know your family had ties to nobility? Why didn’t you mention it?”

“Pardon?”

“You’re familiar with African nobility? Enough that they send you howlers? And you didn’t care to mention that?”

“Oh… oh yeah that’s… my bad?”

Queue every muggle raised child realizing this opportunity and making eyes that scream “do NOT fuck this up for all of us” at each other before the gossip network does its work.

Anyways I just wanna see Goncharov level of unity because they absolutely would stick to the bit if someone fell for it.

Professor Snape would die over this silently, while all the pureblood teachers are like “???? Are you well, Severus?”

[celticcrossanon]

This is totally my opinion on Harry, Invictus and the Commonwealth. I think Harry’s greatest loss was the loss of their roles of President and VP of the Commonwealth Trust. If they lose Invictus a great deal of their “Plans” i.e. the Plans others have for using them. All of this is connected as I think Harry’s handlers have their ultimate goal of getting Harry back into a role with the Commonwealth which would allow a great deal of movement and economic and military activities within those countries populations, by his handlers, as Harry would be the face to put out any complaints by those who are fighting the multi national corporations and Tech companies that are trying to make inroads into those countries,  to get access to their resources, like oil, their land for development.  They have to have a face that is innocuous and who appears to be aligned with the Commonwealth countries. That face, the face of Invictus, gives them Carte Blanche to get into the country, to sell it as a Goodwill operation for Veterans etc. Without Invictus they lose that free pass to go right to the top of the countries hierarchy of ministers, presidents, meet a former prince routine of his and then integrate his own “connections” to the country with the blessing of the leaders as they trust Harry.  You know the Harry that keeps talking about “Africa, my true home, the place I am most comfortable” blah, blah. The desire of Invictus to get rid of Harry has proven to be very difficult as there are powerful corporations who want him there and it has nothing to do with athletes. With Harry as the face, and the beard for what is going on, he distracts from the real activities and puts out that she is 43% Nigerian (I am your sister, your mother, your wife blah, blah!). Don’t be fooled. This is all a charade, a scam…not by Harry, he is too stupid. Follow the money…this is all a distraction from issues like all the violence over there, i.e., African Parks. However, there is no question in my mind that H&M would do anything for money…greed is the touchstone here…and we already know that Harry would sell out his family for money. Can you imagine what he would do to an entity like the Commonwealth, that he does not care about at all?  Keep your eyes on these two, they are more dangerous than they look, because stupid people are very dangerous, because they will do anything for money.

*

Hi Nonny,

Thank you for sharing your opinion with us. :)

A few points that I want to comment on:

The Queen’s Commonwealth Trust is a local, UK based charity that is supposed to support young people aged 18-35 across the Commonwealth, focusing on social entrepreneurs who have founded organisations to address problems in their communities. So far it has funded projects in the following countries:

 3 in the UK, 5 in Uganda, 3 in Kenya, 3 in Cameroon, 2 in Malawi, 2 in South Africa, 2 in Rwanda, 2 in Tanzania, 2 in Nigeria, 1 in Ghana, 1 in Barbados, 1 in Guyana, 1 in St Lucia, 1 in Trinidad and Tobago, 1 in the Maldives, 1 in India, and 1 in Pakistan. 

That is 32 projects across 17 countries (out of 56 Commonwealth Nations). This is a small charity. It does not have an international reputation and I doubt that most people outside the UK would know about it.

Harry’s job as President was to be president of a UK based charity. It had nothing to do with the organisation of the Commonwealth if Nations.

With respect to the Commonwealth of Nations, any prominent position within the organisation is either filled by a Head of State or voted on by all Heads of State. If Harry wants one of those positions, for which he is woefully unqualified, he would have to do a deal with enough of the 56 Heads of State to be voted into the position. I can’t see that happening, myself, especially as many of them want the position to go to another country’s Head of State after King Charles. 

In addition, the Head of the Commonwealth has no power in any nation that makes up the Commonwealth. They can not be the face of anything except the Commonwealth as an organisation because they have no power in any of the individual countries (except for what is granted to them as Head of State of one or more of those countries).

Invictus is another matter, as Harry does have role as its patron that could include going to different countries to raise awareness/funds etc. Using that role for other motives makes sense.

[brood-mother]

"but how did people fall for the willy wonka experience scam when it was so obviously fake just looking at the site!" because it was deliberately targeted at working class families and people who generally don't have the best literacy and online situational deduction skills. billy coull and the other scammers were fully aware the AI pics would be a dead giveaway to most people, as experienced scammers they were likely counting on it.

its the same way email scammers use terrible grammar and spelling in their "african prince" or fake blackmail type scams, because the people who would be more likely to fall for it are also the most vulnerable, the most disadvantaged, and the least likely to be able to do anything about the situation after they've been scammed. scammers like these are also hoping the victim's embarrassment at being fleeced by something that was "obvious" in hindsight shuts them up.

also people who blame the victims of scams for "not being smart enough" are fucking rats btw 👍 hope this help

[shadycomputerpolice]

The Role of Seperatism in Female Liberation

Yes, seperatism will not end patriarchy. I have never seen any seperatist make that claim so I wonder why anti-seperatists like to point that out like their lives depend on it. Also, no singular act, outside of killing all males, can achieve that.

And yes, seperatism is often an individual action. Just like anti-beauty: not shaving, not wearing make up and heels, etc but we still understand that those acts of resistance, even though individual, have value and contribute positively to women and girls' wellbeing.

What seperatism does claim is that it protects women and girls' wellbeing by denying males access to them.

As seen in the images above, for [misogynistic] crimes to happen, all three elements: opportunity, desire and ability must be present and removing just one of them prevents crime. The images above apply to all crimes but since we are talking about female seperatism we can tailor it down to Gender Based Violence (GBV).

Seperatism is about preventing GBV by removing opportunity for harm. Individual seperatists can achieve personal safety in their homes while seperatist communities can achieve community wide safety. So when you claim seperatism is useless you are basically saying crime prevention efforts that focus on denying potential criminals the opportunity to commit crimes is useless. If that is your claim then you have to provide evidence of that.

Seperatists recognise that women cannot influence the ability and desire of males to harm females because behavioural change is self motivated so they focus on what they have control over which is the opportunity for harm.

Now are males, like all predators, going to seek new ways to gain opportunities to harm females, yes of course they are. Outside of GBV, criminals are always changing their strategies especially when their previous strategy becomes well known and people stop falling for it. Using cyber crime as an example because I am Nigerian (LOL), when people stopped falling for the destitute African Prince method, they changed to other methods like romance scams and blackmail. Criminals/Predators are always to seek new ways to catch their victims/prey which is the why the victims/prey must always be alert and aware of the criminals/predators methods so that they can protect themselves.

So yes, as long as men exist, they will be no feminist utopia where women and girls can exist without the threat of violence. We will always need to be on guard and strive to protect ourselves from them no matter the method they use.

Seperatism cannot save all women and girls in the world just like how crime prevention efforts in Ghana cannot save me in Nigeria and I shouldn't even be expecting it to because geography, language barrier, national laws, etc. What can be done is we adapt the methods used in Ghana to our local context and apply it to see results.

Seperatism is an elective individual and geographical community level action that has the potential to save all women and girls but nobody is kidnap unwilling people and hold them hostage.

And I know, someone is going to scream " VICTIM BLAMING" and to that I say, I don't care about being labelled a victim blamer. However, if you have another viable method for keeping women and girls safe, kindly put forward your idea so it can be evaluated. Please note if you suggest "educating men and boys", I will block you because I don't have the patience for that level of stupidity and delusion.

Sidenote:

I always wondered why allegedly smart women will "but child brides in Afghanistan" as a counter to female seperatism. The wins of feminism activism will always be limited by geography. There is no feminist activism that will impact the lives of ALL women and girls. An individual's or organisation's target population will be limited by geography and unfortunately by resources. You can't help everybody applies in feminism too.

Imagine if someone said that about abortion rights in the US. "Fighting for abortion in America doesn't help child brides in Afghanistan". Most people can see how ridiculous and frankly insulting it is to bring up that issue.

[konektafrica]

The Wild Wild west of Fraud and Ponzi schemes

Africa has become the wild wild west of Ponzi schemes. The new and upcoming Ponzi artists are working hard to separate people from their hard earned savings. The impacts of scam and Ponzi schemes on vulnerable populations can be far-reaching and long-lasting, affecting not only individuals and their families but also the broader community and economy.

They undermine the real efforts for financial inclusion in many countries in Africa, as they also deter people from participating in formal legal financial services and lead to a distrust of legitimate investment opportunities.

First an appeal to greed. Investment schemes promise high returns on investment but rely on new investors' money to pay returns to earlier investors. In Africa, quick money schemes have become a widespread problem, to name the new scammy very active entreprenors:

Qnet,

MonHeveadotcom

Mekit Invest,

OpenAiMali,

Sonnedix,

PetronPay,

Mygoldrev,

ICC service,

J Global.

This article seeks to examine the reasons why Ponzi scheme artists are so easily defrauding millions of small investors savings in Africa, and the impacts of Ponzi schemes on the African economy, KonektAfrica try to propose potential solutions to address the problem.

The Vulnerability of Small Investors

We have all received our "Dear friend the Nigerian Prince email", and wondered how could one believe in such obvious misrepresentation of truth? Well, with socioeconomic and political contexts playing a significant role, the crucial factor is the lack of financial literacy. Which leaves many individuals unable to differentiate between legitimate investment opportunities and fraudulent schemes. Limited access to formal financial services and low levels of financial inclusion further exacerbate this issue, as many people turn to informal networks and non-traditional sources of credit and investment.

Additionally, the lack of clear legislation regarding new financial activities, —Crypto— high rates of unemployment, making people more likely to take risks in the hope of quickly improving their financial situation. This vulnerability can be exploited by scammers who promise 50% per week returns with little to no risk.

Another important factor contributing to the vulnerability of people in Africa to scams and Ponzi schemes is the widespread use of digital technology, particularly mobile phones, which has enabled new forms of financial fraud. With the rapid growth of mobile money services and online transactions, scammers can more easily target a broader range of potential victims, even in remote areas. Furthermore, weak regulatory environments and limited enforcement capacities in some African countries can make it challenging to effectively combat financial fraud, as scammers can operate with relative impunity. Social and cultural factors, such as the reliance on trust within close-knit communities, can also be manipulated by scammers who use personal relationships to recruit new investors. These factors, combined with the allure of high returns and the desire for a better life, can make people in Africa particularly vulnerable to scams and Ponzi schemes.

Small investors in Africa are particularly vulnerable to Ponzi schemes due to several factors, including limited financial literacy, limited access to formal financial services, and high levels of poverty. Many small investors are unaware of the risks associated with investing and are easily lured by promises of high returns. In addition, the lack of access to formal financial services leaves many small investors with limited investment options, making them more susceptible to Ponzi schemes.

The Impacts of Ponzi Schemes on the African Economy

The belief that only vulnerable Africans fall victim to scams and Ponzi schemes is debunked when one considers the cases of MMM Global and Bernie Madoff's infamous Ponzi scheme. MMM Global, created by Sergei Mavrodi, was a fraudulent investment scheme that operated in multiple countries, including Russia, China, and South Africa.

At its peak, MMM Global reportedly had over 30 million participants, and it is estimated that investors lost as much as $1.2 billion when the scheme collapsed. This global reach of MMM shows that individuals from various cultural, economic, and social backgrounds can be susceptible to such schemes, not just vulnerable populations in Africa.

Similarly, Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, one of the largest financial frauds in history, targeted primarily affluent individuals and institutions in the United States and Europe. Madoff's scheme, which defrauded investors of an estimated $65 billion, ensnared a wide range of victims, including sophisticated investors, high-net-worth individuals, and even charitable organizations.

The fallout from Madoff's scheme was felt globally, demonstrating that financial scams and Ponzi schemes are not exclusive to vulnerable populations in Africa or any specific region. In fact, they can have a far-reaching impact, affecting people from all walks of life and socioeconomic backgrounds. The allure of high returns and the exploitation of trust and personal relationships are universal factors that contribute to the success of such schemes, transcending geographical and cultural boundaries.

The impacts of Ponzi schemes on the African economy are significant, including the loss of savings for small investors, the erosion of trust in the financial system, and the potential for wider economic impacts.

When a scam or Ponzi scheme collapses, investors often lose their entire investment, as the funds have been diverted to pay earlier investors or have been misappropriated by the scheme's operators. These losses are particularly devastating for those with limited financial resources. The consequences of such losses can extend beyond the immediate financial impact, as individuals struggle to recover from the financial setback, potentially leading to long-term (more)financial instability. The loss of savings and financial ruin resulting from scams and Ponzi schemes can have a profound and lasting impact on the lives of those affected, as well as on their communities and the wider economy.

Potential Solutions…(Keep reading)

[everlastingrandom]

This is sea shanty discourse all over again.

There's been some posts saying that Our Flag Means Death is antiblack for being ahistorical. But a fair amount don't sit well with me, a black person. So I'm gonna pull an ADHD and go on several tangents about it. Also, marginalized people aren't a monolith and when I see "listen to black people" from nonblack people, I get sus about who is doing the loudest talking and how, why, etc.

Also this is mostly about the show textually. Taika had a lot of creative influence on OFMD (and he directed the pilot episode) but he is not the creator of the show. David Jenkins is the main show runner, producer, and writer. That said, I'm gonna read more on both of their track records because I did see some important points that were made by others, so bear with me.

Anyway, this post will have heavy spoilers!

TL;DR Personally, I don't think this specific comedy/romance show is antiblack for choosing to not highlight the transatlantic slave trade in relation to their reimagined protagonists. However, OFMD feeds into the swashbuckler genre and I definitely think we should deconstruct that as a whole. Also I wish more people would put their righteous anger into substantially supporting Black creators.

The MEAT

OFMD doesn't shy away from depicting white people as racist: the British Navy refer to Stede's BIPOC crew members as "savages" when aboard Stede's ship. The show acknowledges the atrocities committed against the Native populations of the Caribbean and American mainlands. The tribesman who guards Stede literally says, "you [white people] keep killing us." Nor does it shy away from colonizers exoticizing people from lands that are now former victims of imperialism. Oluwande and Frenchie's scam of being an African prince relies on of the ignorance of the foppish, rich white people that they swindle.

But OFMD is not a documentary, it is a comedy/adventure show with a romantic subplot. It genre bends quite frequently, occasionally dropping the comedy to have serious moments. But the main characters are a white englishman and a white barbadian being played by a white new zealander and a maori new zealander. The conceit is that none of this is supposed to be taken seriously. No one's accent is the same. A man gets weird with some seagulls on more than one occasion. We are having fun in muppet treasure island. There are dummy mechanics in use. This is not a place of honor.

I went into watching OMFD with mental blinders fully up, because I knew pirates + caribbean = oh potential yikes. But as it progressed through S1, the fear that slavery would be depicted in an upsetting way slowly dissipated. And then it just wasn't there really. I think the choice to not explicitly depict the relationship between piracy and the transatlantic slave trade—especially in regards to Stede and Blackbeard—made sense for their tone, but ended up being an oversight in their worldbuilding. If the showrunners continue into s2, they should bring in Black/Afro-caribbean consultants to give insight on what those depictions might be, if addressed.

The swashbuckling genre is distinctive due to 1) shenanigans on a boat 2.) romance. A lot of OFMD is about the romanticization of pirate life, but it also challenges those romantic notions directly. Add two historical figures with radically opposing methods of piracy and THERE WAS ONLY ONE BOAT. That's not true, there was a max of three boats. And you end up with an untapped hotbed of creative potential. The Gentleman Pirate was a narrative figure in Stede's own lifetime and Blackbeard is a goddamn legend. There's only so much influence you can draw before people claim you're blatantly ripping something off.

Slavery is a pretty hard sell, generally. Like, commit a whole episode and tread lightly from there, hard sell. But I wouldn't be surprised if there were efforts to address it in media rez, that just didn't make it to the final cut (but this is me speculating.) TV shows are not made in vacuums, hundreds of people were involved in this production. My point is that sometimes media is not here to trick you into believing that real-life terrible people were actually good and admirable. (Sometimes it is.)

But I feel strongly that OMFD expects you to be on the side of the characters of color from the jump. Catch the implicit, "Can you believe these white people?" in the way they roll their eyes and sigh and give each other looks. The way Oluwende and Frenchie include the African servants(?) into their scheme in Ep. 5. The way the Elder pities Stede when he has a breakdown, but at the same couples Stede with every other white person who's attacked the tribe. I think OFMD seeks to depower the image we have of colonizers as inhuman forces of nature, when they were all very painfully human.

Why did fans not background check this show?

I knew the history of Stede Bonnet prior to watching OFMD, which I'm guessing was not the majority experience (?) I was interested in watching the show when I first heard about it, mainly because the costumes looked nice.

From the number of "Here's the TRUTH about Stede Bonnet" posts circulating, it's clear he's a relatively un-talked about figure. Honestly, that's fine. It happens to be that we will not learn about everything about everyone in human history. But the history of piracy + the slave trade—THAT should've been more widely known. When there's a widespread deficit in knowledge, that's a systematic issue more than an individual one.

That said, if you do not currently connect piracy with slavery, hello, here's your wake up call.

You should be able to infer that Stede, being landed gentry in Barbados, gained his wealth from slave labor. That these characters were inspired by real people who existed in and benefited from a slave labor economy. That chattel slavery ballooned during this time period. The show does not go out its way to acknowledge this. And because it didn't, where does that leave us? Filling in the gaps? Doing our own research?

(The answer is yes.)

It's Just Hamilton 2.0

I didn't make this connection like others did, and at first I was annoyed by it but now I'm kind of like. Yah.

25 year old me understands that the problems at the root of Hamilton extend deep into the entertainment industry: the way white historical figures continue to be romanticized, who we let spearhead big productions, and the histories of actual Black historical figures that were completely excluded from the narrative.

19 year old me thought, "Omg, Black people in major broadway roles! Songs that I and other Black theater kids can perform! An accessible way for me to learn more about American history!" I was in a black theatrical ensemble in college. We had that play m e m o r i z e d.

25 year old me looks at OFMD right now and thinks, "Omg, a show that shows a smart Black woman in a compelling role, a fat, Black man as a compelling love interest, and show that openly says White imperialism was fueled by greed and ignorance. Also!! Good LGBT+ rep!! HOLY SHIT!" 25 year old me also understands that we cannot scrub away the scars left by colonialism. Not even in silly Blorbo show. All media will become problematic with time, and we will never be able to get ahead of it.

But for now I would love for folks to take a step back and touch grass because fanon woobifies historical figures waaaay worse than canon does. Lin did not curse us with Miku Binder Jefferson. Y'all did that yourselves and I mine eyes will never be scrubbed of the memory. Also the lack of love towards dark skinned characters does not go unnoticed don't think I don't see y'all sleeping on spanish jackie.

If you don't want to consume OMFD, cool! Please seek out and endorse media actually helmed by Black people. If someone wants to present a counter-argument to this that isn't an angry stream of consciousness and has paragraph breaks, I will weep for joy.

[makaojr]

Tips and tricks for travelling in Africa. Ultimate guide

written by Makaojr

April 14, 2019

You’ve finally taken the plunge and booked that ticket for an epic African adventure, you’ve planned a rough itinerary, picked your safari, and soon you’ll be on your way – hooray!

From the incredible natural environment to the rich cultural history, the friendly locals to the vibrant markets, Africa has everything, sometimes all at once. There’s just something about this fascinating continent that pulls you in and keeps you wanting to return over and over again. But there’s no denying that it can also be a daunting place to travel for even the hardiest of explorers!

We recently spent 4 months travelling through southern and central Africa, and we compiled all the things we either learnt along the way (through misfortune or trial and error!), or wish we’d known before we left for you, so you can focus on having the stress-free African adventure of your dreams!

How to speak the language

If you’re worried you’re going to get stuck at the airport in Tanzania forever because you can’t direct your taxi driver in fluent swahili, stay calm.

You’ll be mighty relieved to discover that despite the 1,500-2,000 local languages spoken in Africa, English is actually an official language in many countries (along with German or French in a few countries!).

Don’t miss out by being lazy and relying solely on English though; learn some key phrases. The locals will appreciate it and you’ll have a much richer experience for it – like the time a friendly Malawian fruit stall owner threw in a few extra pieces because we attempted our best Chichewa with him!

What the locals are like

Forget what you’ve seen in the movies; collectively, Africans are some of the friendliest people on the planet. It’s common to be greeted with a huge smile and hello, and most are keen to learn your name, where you’re from and why you’re visiting.

You’ll probably encounter the phrase ‘Mzungu’ being thrown your way – often by locals smiling as they wave out of car windows or pass you on the street. The literal translation from Swahili is ‘person who wanders without purpose’, though these days it’s used to describe any white foreigner. It’s mostly said in a friendly, joking way – so try not to take offence.

It’s also important to remember that Africa as a whole is very religious (Christianity and Islam are widely practiced) and quite conservative so be respectful of this in your speech and dress.

How to avoid border hassles

Unfortunately corrupt border processes are one aspect of African travel that can be seriously frustrating for travellers.

Most of the time you’ll pass with no issue, other times you may have to wait hours for your passport to be processed without explanation, or be asked to pay a corrupt official a bribe. Then there are the touts offering to exchange your money at rates that are totally ridiculous, or trying to sell you anything from bangles to samosas (side note: always buy the samosas, guys).

Thankfully, we managed to make it through eight different border controls with minimal hassle, and you can too, by following these tips:

Be informed: Know your visa requirements before visiting any country in Africa. Get in touch with your local embassy before travelling, or pay a visit to Project Visa for answers to all your visa-related questions.

Be organised: While you can get most visas at the individual points of entry, arranging them ahead of time saves a tonne of hassle (and sometimes, money!) later.

Be money smart: Always carry spare US dollars just in case. If you need to change money on the border, always know the exchange rate before you get there and bargain hard.

Be stubborn – if someone looks like they’re deliberately holding things up to make you pay to “rush it through” firmly (and politely!) ask to have your passport back. If you’re certain that your visa meets all the requirements but you’re being asked to pay more to get it approved, decline and ask to speak to another official.

Above all else: approach the process with a smile and have a laugh. It’s easier that way!

How to travel around

One of the best things about travelling in Africa is no matter where you are or where you want to go, getting from A-to-B is always possible. How you get from A-B however, is another story altogether.

Taxis, tuk tuks, mopeds, rickshaws, you name it… If it has wheels and appears capable of travelling some distance, you can probably travel on it. You might find yourself sitting on a flight or bus, crammed into a local mini bus with 25 other people (and the odd goat or chicken!), or hitching a ride in the back of a pick-up with half a village heading home from the markets.

For the record: travelling by mini-bus is an African rite of passage and we totally recommend embracing the uncomfortable seat and cramped conditions for this insight to how the locals live!

For a journey you can relax into, our tips are:

Always travel by day. Always.

Always wear your seatbelt

Don’t expect to leave or arrive on time – things run on Africa time here!

You may, or may not, get a seat. You may sit in the aisle of the bus for 5 hours with a chicken pecking at your head. Roll with it – it’s all part of the adventure!

For most mini bus journeys, you can negotiate your fare

Never pay a “bag storage fee” on large buses. It’s a scam – your ticket price includes your baggage.

Accommodation

From tailor-made luxury safari tents where you can live like Prince Harry, through to your standard backpacker dorms where snore-proof earplugs are a must – the options of where to lay your head in Africa are many and varied.

Many travellers actually choose to camp their way through Africa (we often did!), because the camping facilities are accessible, safe, full of good amenities, and super cheap. Plus, what better way to make new friends than by sitting round the campfire swapping stories about your day?!

Larger cities have all the usual accommodation options, the further into the countryside you venture, the less options are available. Don’t fear though, you’ll ALWAYS find somewhere to rest up after a hard day’s adventuring!

Things to consider:

Always book accommodation well in advance during peak season (May – October). Places like Namibia are extremely popular, with very limited accommodation in desert areas.

Use guide books, online reviews or local recommendations. Does it get good reviews?!

Does your accommodation have a safe, lockers or locks?

Is there a night watchman/security to make sure you and your belongings are safe overnight?

How to stay healthy

Medication & health: Check with your GP about what vaccinations and medication you’ll need before you depart.

Hot tip: Most countries require Yellow Fever vaccination proof just to enter the country.

We also packed the following to keep us fighting adventure-fit on the road:

Anti malarial medication

Antibiotics

Painkillers

Antihistamine

Iodine tablets

Hydrocortisone cream

Insect repellent: DEET is your new best friend!

* Sadly, though the lakes in Africa look inviting, many are home to a horrible parasite called Bilharzia. We’re not in the business of horror stories, so we’ll leave you to investigate the delights of that one yourself – but you DO NOT want to get it. Always check with locals before taking the plunge.

Water: There’s a pretty common misconception that there’s no clean drinking water in Africa, but we’re here to tell you it is possible to drink water straight from the tap in South Africa, Namibia, and parts of Zambia and Botswana. Head north and you’ll need to be cautious, but carry iodine tablets and you’ll be fine!

Food: All you really need to know is that food in Africa is delicious. It’s also mostly high quality – though perhaps avoid meat in remote areas due to a lack of proper refrigeration.

How to stay safe

We actually felt more safe in African countries than we did in other regions of the world we’ve visited. However, as always it pays to do your research before you go.

Keep the following in mind and you’ll have a stress-free trip!

Leave the flashy jewelry and designer labels at home – they’re not practical, and make you a target instantly.

Wear a money belt OR only take a day’s worth of cash out with you.

When taking money out at an ATM, be aware of your surroundings. If something seems suspicious, move along quickly.

We’re photographers, which means we always travel with big cameras and even bigger lenses. But you’d never know, because they’re safely locked away in our bags till needed. Don’t make yourself a target by waving yours around!

Don’t walk the streets at night by yourself, especially in larger cities or towns. If you’re out late, take a taxi or Uber, every time.

Pickpockets exist here as they do everywhere, so if you’re visiting markets, bazaars, train or bus stations be extra careful.

Going it alone

Africa is a wonderful place to travel solo. If you’re open, you can have wonderfully rich experiences while meeting incredible people. You’ll also find that it’s pretty safe – any dangers that exist for both males and females are pretty the same as anywhere else you’d travel to.

Where possible, follow these tips and you should have no issues:

Be cautious when travelling to remote regions

Don’t travel alone at night

Register your travel plans with your government

Keep in regular contact with members at home

Money matters

Africa isn’t a cheap holiday by any stretch – generally the daily costs for a traveller are much higher than in Asia or even South America.

Budget around $100USD per day per person for transport, accommodation and food. Safaris and adventure activities bump up the cost substantially, so you’ll need to allocate more for those.

There are 54 currencies in Africa, so things can get tricky if you’re travelling to multiple countries. Here are a few tips to handle it all:

Most southern African countries have ATM’s or credit card facilities. If not, it’s best to find a local bank and stock up on currency.

If you have a large amount of currency left over when leaving a country, exchange it at the border with a reputable source. Only in extreme circumstances should you use street vendors

Always hide at least $200 USD somewhere safe in case of emergencies

Credit card fraud is big time in Southern Africa, so be wary. We had our cards skimmed in South Africa and temporarily lost AUD$1500!

Tipping is generally expected, though it varies region to region

Staying scam-free

Our general rule of thumb is “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is”; live by this in Africa and you should be okay.

Here’s what to avoid:

People offering a good or service (e.g. tour) for free, including tours, only to charge exorbitantly at the conclusion of the service

Fake products or tickets being sold at inflated prices

Payment for stored baggage on bus rides

Insisting on carrying baggage at airports or bus depots, then demanding a large ‘tip’

Over inflated taxi or bus rides – always agree on a price first!

People posing as refugees, students or orphans begging

Other ‘payments’ at border crossings, including health assessments or for bogus documents

Be mindful of resources

Electricity, or lack of it, is big issue in Africa. Many areas have it, yet over 600 million people still go without. As technology develops so does access, however if you are travelling, please take this into consideration. Switch those lights off and unplug your chargers!

We recommend carrying a worldwide travel adaptor and a solar charging device (not all rest camps will have consistent access to power!).

Same goes for water – Africa is a dry continent, and has long-suffered droughts. Short showers = benefit for all.

[junglecruisefullfree-blog]

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It is unmistakable the case that the film bets about 115% of its success on the Blunt / Johnson pairing, and this is almost worth it. None of the actors are stretching one bit, but none of them are exactly lazy; the point is to see a couple of old-fashioned movie star twists, where actors do exactly what we want them to do and they do it very well. And this is fine, as far as it goes, except there is never exactly "chemistry" between the two. And this happened sometimes with old-fashioned movie stars, too: the studios would put two of their hired players together, just to see what happened. Sometimes it worked wonders. Sometimes you just have two very enjoyable performances of likeable and charismatic actors persistently running in parallel with each other, without really "clicking". And that's what we get in Jungle Cruise, where Lily and Frank always seem like very cordial co-workers, legitimately happy to see each other, but not exactly friends, and definitely not romantic partners in the way the committee-created script would like. . that are. Just a couple of professionals doing a joint job with someone they know they can trust to get the job done right. The first time I went to Disneyland I was 32 years old. Jungle Cruise is a ride that many theme park lovers encourage beginners to visit, so I waited in line for 45 minutes and was very disappointed. Thank goodness the new movie, starring Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Édgar Ramírez, Jack Whitehall, Jesse Plemons and Paul Giamatti, is much more entertaining. Jungle Cruise, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra from a story by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa and a script by Michael Green, Ficarra and Requa, is a live-action adventure based on the famous Disneyland attraction starring two of the Most charismatic actors in the business: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Emily Blunt. As entertaining as this movie is, the script makes decisions that prevent a good movie from turning into a great one. Lily Houghton (Blunt) is an idealistic botanist who seeks the "tears of the moon", an ancient indigenous plant from Brazil with healing powers. Her goal is to obtain a petal from the tree in hopes of saving lives, so she, along with her brother Macgregor (Whitehall), travels to South America with nothing but a holy arrowhead and a map. Upon her arrival, the couple meet Frank Wolff (Johnson), a patron who scams visitors with boating on the Amazon River. Lily is looking for a boat, Frank has a boat, and after some maneuvering and lying, the trio agree to be fellow travelers. Sadly, they're not the only ones looking for the petal, and Germany's Prince Joaquin (Plemons) and 400-year-old Conquistador Aguirre (Ramírez) will complicate the journey. Jungle Cruise clearly takes a lot of its cues from movies like Indiana Jones, The Mummy, Romancing the Stone, and The African Queen. It doesn't stand on its own with so much gleaned from previous creative work, but that's not a bad thing here. Jungle Cruise is as funny and hilarious as its inspiration, and the sparks between the lead actors bring this film to life. Individually, Rock and Blunt are already incredibly charming, but as a duo, they create a rhythm of movement and sound that makes their dynamite chemistry jump off the screen and hit you in the face. This is only reinforced by the fact that the two of them are absentmindedly attractive with the most electric smiles, which kept me smiling throughout. Disney's live-action movie is certainly a step forward for director Jaume Collet-Serra, whose previous films include House of Wax (2005) and The Shallows (2016). Apparently he has developed a good working relationship with The Rock, as he is also directing the Warner Bros. DC superhero movie Black Adam. Collet-Serra's captivating and dynamic steering captures fast-paced action crisply and cleanly, avoiding the static and shaky camera look that Disney movies can sometimes be subjected to. However, the cinematographic highlight is the cinematography of Flavio Martínez Labiano. Each scene is perfectly lit and colored in a strangely heady way that gives the film that cinematic look from Hollywood's 1950s Golden Age.

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[kathyprior4200]

A Tale of Two Shadow Men

 1920s New Orleans was a vibrant place full of jazz, music, and a blending of various cultures. Good food and music were the few things that could bring the rich, the poor and everyone in between together. A few times during the year, like during Mardi Gras, people could forget their ordinary lives and just lose themselves in their minds and in the moment.

 Of course, reality would rear its ugly head once again, and the people would go their separate ways. The rich lived in the well-maintained Garden District, surrounded by mansions, ivy, elegant clothing and luxury. In contrast, the poor and working class gave up many hours to earn enough money just to feed their families. That is, if they were even lucky enough to have jobs. Women and non-white individuals had it worse in comparison to the privileged white men.

 Within New Orleans, there is an infamous tale that nearly everyone knows. One that, at first glance, seems like a myth to frighten children or to keep troublemakers in line. But this tale is aimed not just at children…and it’s all too real. It serves as a warning to anyone who might easily be swayed down the wrong path.

 It is the classic tale of the Shadow Man.

 The Shadow Man in question is Francois Keith Facilier, more commonly known as Dr. Facilier. He is noticeable by his dark brown skin, black mustache, slender build and graceful moves. He wears purple and black and carries a cane. His suave personality and silver tongue could convince many people to believe him. Many individuals thought their wishes would come true after seeing the shady businessman, only to find themselves grow old or hairy or have bad luck follow them around. All the while, Dr. Facilier would smirk and count the coins in his hands. His violet eyes are full of greed, reflecting his selfish nature. Dr. Facilier is notorious for scamming people, making deals, and smooth-talking his way out of almost anything.

 Born June 4, 1880, in New Orleans, Dr. Facilier grew up in a poor household. Due to his background and the constant racism in his life, Facilier grew to be envious of the rich early on in his life. Ironically enough, his mother, Clementine, had royal blood. Her father (Facilier’s maternal grandfather), Louis was a king of New Orleans, making her a princess. Clementine was also royal in that she was a descendent of Marie Laveau, the Voodoo Queen of New Orleans. Clementine was a beautiful black woman who worked tirelessly to help with her son’s future. She had fallen in love with David, her dark-skinned husband. Clementine fell from grace before Facilier’s birth when her lovely estate was ransacked and burned by jealous criminals. She was soon forced to start her life from scratch. She eventually met a chef named David, fell in love and got married to him.

 Interestingly enough, Dr. Facilier’s maternal grandmother was none other than Mama Odie, the blind Voodoo priestess who was born in 1729! (She’s 197 in 1926, older than Marie Laveau) (Mama Odie knew Marie Laveau during her lifetime and they collaborated on magic rituals!) Her expertise in Voodoo magic and spiritual bond with Marie enabled her to live as long as she did.

 Facilier’s parents lived in a poor area near the bayou swamp. Over time, David became alcoholic and distant from his son. He was drafted into World War One and was killed in battle. Single and alone, the innocence that Clementine had was eventually gone. Clementine sought the wealth and luxury she had previously enjoyed. She desired it so much that she went to Mama Odie for guidance. Mama Odie told her that she and Dr. Facilier should enjoy the pleasant modest life they had.

 Facilier used to be in love with a woman (who would give birth to his daughters Freddie and Celia), but she then pursued a wealthy man, making him jealous. Facilier used to use magic for good with Mama Odie but turned to the dark side.

 But a modest life wasn’t good enough for either of them. Not with the daily struggles and up-turned noses from royalty and the better-off.

  Clementine instilled a drive for greed into her son early on. She taught him that life simply was not fair, and that the wealthy whites always got their way. Facilier was upset that those like Prince Naveen and Eli “Big Daddy” La Bouff could enjoy their lives without laborious work or discrimination. Before long, Clementine got so desperate that she went to the dark Loa to seek their aid. They offered her wealth and a chance to start her own business. Soon enough, Clementine was running her own parlor where she read people’s fortunes and offered them their fantasies for money. She even went as far as becoming a mistress to a few of her male clients in exchange for a heap of money and jewelry.

 Facilier learned of her tricks at a young age and she taught him the art of acting and manipulation. For a while, Clementine was content on watching other’s lives dwindle away while she could feel the satisfaction of being recognized and respected once again. (She made sure that those who ransacked her house had eternal bad luck). Like his father, Facilier’s mother also became distant from him, even slapping him when he misbehaved. Her son had become nothing more than a business assistant to her.

 But her new life and magic powers came with a steep price. It wasn’t long before she fell gravely ill. Her skin got wrinkled like a raisin and her hair straggly like old grass. She had misused her powers and the price to pay was her own life. She soon passed away to Guinee and all that was left of her was her shrunken head, which Facilier kept in his emporium. Now the young man was left to fend for himself, with only the knowledge from his mother and the hungry stares of the evil wooden spirits watching him. Despite his mother being abusive, Dr. Facilier still missed her at times.

 Not long after that, Dr. Facilier formed an alliance with the dark Loa, specifically to Baron Samedi and Met Kalfu. The wealthy had insulted him and ruined his life for long enough. He also wanted to continue his mother’s legacy, doing what he did best.

 Why work hard when other people could do the work for you?

  He started to dress and act like Baron Samedi, hosting musical numbers and parties in his name. Grand-Mama Odie tried to reason with her grandson, warning him that getting involved with the Loa would only bring disaster. She also reminded him of the true nature of Voodoo and Hoodoo; a cultural faith based on ancestor and saint reverence. But Facilier just laughed it off, calling her an “old senile mambo.” Facilier was too far gone after being persuaded by the cunning shadows to make a deal. His own shadow (Reilicaf) took a life of its own, reflecting his true emotions and intentions. Mama Odie found peace and connection to the spirits and her snake pet in the swamp, the place she called home. Mama Odie knew that there was no point in fighting him…unless he intended to cause harm to New Orleans. (She was powerful, but she didn’t want to harm her grandson or cause further harm to others. She decided to let him learn his lesson).

 (Possible Twisted Tale book “Almost There” What if Tiana made a deal with Dr. Facilier? by authors Lim, Braswell or Calonita)

 (“Disney Chilled: Fiends On The Other Side” book by Vera Strange)

 AU: Takes place before Princess and the Frog

 Jamal, an African American boy has lived in his twin brother Malik’s shadow all his life. Malik has a fan club, and always gets chosen in science class and gym class. Jamal feels invisible…not even his parents seem to notice him. He doesn’t even enjoy his jambalaya and ice cream. One day, Malik gets a trumpet from his grandmother and Jamal gets a skull necklace with beads and feathers. She leaves him a message that the skull necklace would protect him from the shadows. Jamal misses the bus and hides from Corton and his gang of bullies behind a dumpster. He soon runs into Dr. Facilier who offers him a chance to be popular. The red eyes from the skull glow in warning, but Jamal feels compelled to walk into the emporium. Dr. Facilier presents Jamal with a tarot card showing him proudly holding a trophy. Jamal fails to notice the image of his brother cowering in the shadows. Jamal runs to leave, the voodoo dolls watching him.

 Dr. Facilier torments Jamal with tarot cards, nightmares and shadows coming after him, even Jamal’s own shadow.  Jamal’s grandmother appears in a dark dream, chiding him of his choice. A tarot card reading “Death” appears by his feet. The shadow man arrives to his house one night and demands the necklace in order for him to get his wish. Jamal considers offering something else valuable. With sinking guilt, Jamal steals his brother’s trumpet and gives it to Dr. Facilier. The villain laughs and vanishes.

 The next morning, Jamal finds that his parents don’t remember Malik. He looks and sees pictures of himself being successful at school, instead of his brother. He is class president and has fans asking him to sign yearbooks. He soon finds out that Malik was turned into a shadow, unnoticed by anyone except him and his skater friend Riley. Malik is furious at his brother for stealing his trumpet and being so foolish. Riley says that her grandmother has the same necklace that Jamal has. She leads the group into the bayou swamp where her grandmother lives. But Dr. Facilier sends his dolls and shadows after them. They nearly get eaten by possessed alligators when Riley’s grandmother throws dust to break the spell and save them. In the house, Riley’s grandmother reveals the same necklace that Jamal has. She reveals that Dr. Facilier used to be part of a magical order with her that used magic for good. But then he became fascinated by dark magic and soon tried to stop them. His dark magic killed Jamal’s grandmother, who had hidden under dark veils and wanted to protect her children.

 The dolls burst into the room. Riley and her grandmother hold them off with magic as Jamal and Malik flee. A hurricane forms above them. They enter a clearing and soon are face to face with the shadow man. Dr. Facilier’s shadow arrives and strangles the shadowy Malik. Jamal begs him to let him go but Dr. Facilier demands him to hand over the necklace. Jamal realizes, too late, that Riley and Malik had been his true friends all along. Riley’s grandmother warns that Dr. Facilier will be unstoppable if he gets the necklace. Riley steps in to help with her staff but the dolls pin her down.

 Jamal realizes that if he breaks the necklace, Dr. Facilier will lose his soul. Dr. Facilier then says that if he dies, then Malik will vanish forever, as he is the only one who can reverse the curse. Malik is about to get eaten by Dr. Facilier’s shadow. Feeling pity for his brother, Jamal gives him the necklace in defeat. Dr. Faciler grins and grows taller in power, eyes red. Jamal then demands that he release Malik…only for him to become a shadow as well. Dr. Facilier laughs, saying that he didn’t promise Jamal that he would save him. A hurricane devastates New Orleans and Dr. Facilier briefly becomes a mayor, doing martial law. He is able to make decisions and plans to take over New Orleans. Jamal and Malik remain unnoticed by their parents who live a life without their children. The brothers begin to fade as Dr. Facilier laughs and says, “Now you know what it’s like to lurk in the shadows…forever!”

 Mama Odie eventually breaks the spell and brings down Dr. Facilier’s rule after the city recovers from the hurricane. But Jamal, Malik, Riley and their grandmothers remain dead.

(“Princess And The Frog” by Disney)

 1926

The Loa grant the witch doctor Facilier dark magic and he uses it to swindle the citizens of New Orleans for easy money. He “grants” wishes and poses as a shady businessman. Despite his magic powers, Dr. Facilier still struggled financially and wanted to seize the La Bouff fortune. He plots to use Naveen and Charlotte’s union to seize their fortune. However, if Dr. Facilier failed to properly pay the Loa back, he would lose his soul. Still, he was willing to take that risk.

 At his parlor, he offers Naveen freedom while offering Lawrence a chance to live the life of a prince. He reads their Tarot cards, and Naveen fails to see the green lily pads in the background. Naveen is turned into a frog and Lawrence becomes a copy of Naveen through a talisman. Dr. Facilier planned to murder Eli “Big Daddy” La Bouff as Charlotte and the disguised Lawrence got married, the two villains would then split the money 60-40. Dr. Facilier wanted to become the most powerful man in the city.

 Later on, Dr. Facilier asks for help from his “friends on the other side” after Naveen’s blood runs out from the talisman. Dr. Facilier offers the dark spirits the souls of the citizens as payment, and he soon gains an army of shadow demons to track down the heroes.

 Naveen escapes and grabs the talisman, saving Big Daddy. Dr. Facilier kills Ray and creates an illusion of Tiana’s restaurant to try and persuade her. Tiana breaks free and shatters the talisman. The spirits enter the cemetery and drag Dr. Facilier to the Voodoo spirit world (Guinee) to be tormented forever.

 (“Murder On The Air” by Kathy Prior 42)

(“Hazbin Hotel” by Vivziepop)

 This is where the story of Dr. Facilier should end. He was a man green with envy over the lives of the rich. His desire led him down the path of evil and darkness. He almost had Tiana and New Orleans under his control, but thankfully Tiana, Naveen, Ray, the crocodile and the others saved the day.

 But not many people know that Dr. Facilier wasn’t alone. In fact, there was a second Shadow Man that existed in New Orleans. But who was it?

 The obvious answer would appear to be Dr. Facilier’s shadow. But that’s not the case, despite it being an actual man of shadow. The man was actually a physical man.

  No, it wasn’t the Axeman either, though the other man was a serial killer…perhaps even worse than the Axeman himself.

 Not only did this Shadow Man exist…he was also Dr. Facilier’s younger distant cousin.

 Dr. Facilier had a father and a royal mother, Clementine. Dr. Facilier’s grandmother was Mama Odie. Mama Odie had a twin black sister named Odette, a woman of Native American descent who revered Yemaya. She was also related to Marie Laveau. Odette didn’t live as long as Odie (She lived long due to magic and genetics) but shared her feisty personality. Odette died long before the 1920s but not before she gave birth to a few children after marrying Mathis, a jazz musician. Her favorite child was a girl named Antoinette Loretta Duvalier. She followed in her footsteps, becoming a well-known Voodoo priestess and doing good deeds for the community.

 Antoinette enjoyed her life, but also faced discrimination and a hard job. She was pressured to marry and meet societal expectations. To have a more stable life, she married a white French man, named Armand Louis Moreau, who was equally in love with her. Armand’s parents did not approve of the interracial marriage but Armand pledged his devotion to his wife. The couple then had a French Creole son on January 24, 1896…a boy named Alastor.

 Alastor grew up in New Orleans, raised by his father and mother. As a young child, he was exposed to the wonders of the woods and secrets of the swamp. Although his family was far from rich, he was still able to live a fairly comfortable life. He had short brown hair, brown eyes and medium brown skin. He would often wear glasses, bow-ties and suspenders. Although he, too was jealous that the rich lived better off, little Alastor mostly pursued his passion for music and theater early on. He especially enjoyed all the festive holidays like Mardi Gras, All Soul’s Day, St. John’s Day, Christmas and more.

 As time went on, Alastor started to be bullied by his peers for his heritage and “feminine” interests. It wasn’t uncommon for boys to throw rocks and mud at him, calling him “Chocolate Boy” or racial slurs. They would pour cold water on him, telling him to “wash off.” Playing musical instruments and doing theater were the only good parts about school. Whenever Alastor would get sad, his mother would tell him, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” He learned to appear happy and confident as much as possible, after all, “boys don’t cry.” Alastor and his mother were inseparable. Antoinette taught him how to make jambalaya and Creole meals, how to sew Voodoo dolls, do rituals and play music. They would dance together to the gramophone. In contrast, Armand wanted Alastor to get into more “masculine” interests like sports, hunting and girls. But Alastor wasn’t interested in anyone as he grew up. Alastor got through the days by working hard and smiling like he had no care in the world. Louis Armstrong and his mother were his lifelong role models. He was a happy, go-lucky kid who respected his ancestors and rolled along with life.

 But events built up over the years that would led to a traumatic event. Armand grew tiresome of Alastor, even calling him a “mixed bastard of sin.” Armand went to church more and felt more pressure to conform from his parents. He started hitting and beating Alastor whenever he misbehaved. He would chide his wife for not having the house clean enough or for not having dinner ready. Alastor learned hunting and taxidermy from his father, and also how to shoot a gun. But aside from hunting trips in the winter, their relationship was distant and strained.

 One fateful night around ten years old, Alastor caught his father hooking up with another woman behind his mother’s back. Furious, Armand stomped into Alastor’s room and proceeded to molest the little boy. Alastor’s mother came in to comfort him and wash him up, but Alastor was adverse to touch ever since. Antoinette couldn’t do anything, as Armand was the head of the household. To the delight of Armand’s parents, Armand declared his divorce to Antoinette, where he would take most of their stuff and leave Antoinette and Alastor in poverty. After beating his son, Armand was about to rape his sleeping wife to “teach that whore one more lesson.” But before he could, Alastor snapped. With shaking hands, he takes a riffle and shoots his father square in the chest. This startles Antoinette awake. Alastor quickly hides the body outside and Antoinette never knows what he did.

 Alastor grew up and completed school. As a teen, he collected bugs, swam in the creek, befriended gators, hunted and hiked. He also enjoyed the Picture Show, going to as many shows as he could. He began to smoke and explore more death-related rituals and the dark Loa. His also let his dark brown hair grow long, up to his chin.

 In 1912, Alastor witnesses the Titanic sinking in the newspaper. A hurricane arrives in New Orleans, but Alastor and his family rescue other people and recover. Alastor decides to let a cruel policeman drown instead of helping him.

 World War One arrives and Alastor is drafted. While there, he witnesses his comrades die next to him. He is part of the team that operates radios for communication. After returning home, his interest in radios increases and he begins crafting his own.

 Sadly in 1918, the Spanish Flu occurs, resulting in the death of his beloved mother. No doctors are willing to help. A heartbroken Alastor is left to bury his mother in the cemetery next to his grandmother. In a fit of rage, Alastor kills criminals at night in disguise, earning him the Vigilante title. Alastor was no longer connected to his ancestors, his Voodoo magic turning Petro red. Alastor trailed down the dark path, leading him to practice the stereotypical evil Voodoo portrayed in media. He even began placing curses and hexes on people, wearing alligator teeth on a necklace.

 Soon, it was just him and a life of poverty. Alastor nearly commits suicide in 1920, but comes across Dr. Facilier at his emporium. Both of them find out they’re cousins and they pursue music, wine, cooking and dark magic together for several months. Facilier then reads Alastor’s fortune and attempts to steal what was left of his money. Facilier promises him a better life with wealth and less grief. Alastor agrees to his deal.

 Met Kalfu, Baron Samedi and Furfur embed Alastor with powerful Eldritch magic to use in the afterlife should he win. (But these Loa weren’t the traditional Papa Legba, Kalfu and the others Alastor had revered in the past. These beings were pure evil.) In order to assure his powers, they tell Alastor to offer human souls to them, which he eventually does. His powers would increase, the more souls he collected. Alastor’s faith and heart breaks as he loses his connection with the genuine Loa and the saints of his youth.

 Alastor offers his soul, afterlife powers and money to Dr. Facilier and the Loa if Dr. Facilier is able to achieve his goal of being wealthy and powerful. But if Facilier fails, then Alastor gains Dr. Facilier’s powers and servitude. Both men shake hands, along with their sentient shadows. There was another factor to the deal: The man who dies first would automatically lose. Alastor quickly leaves before Dr. Facilier gets any ideas.

 The luck magic, coupled with hard work, enables Alastor to be a bandleader and gain fame for his work. Per agreement, Alastor gives Dr. Facilier some of his money to continue his dark work. The intrigued CBS arrive to interview Alastor about his performances in 1920. They hear of Alastor’s expertise in fixing radios and creating a crystal radio set of his own. Alastor is eventually interviewed and hired as a radio DJ in a low-class position. Playing the same songs soon got boring. Alastor didn’t put the effort into his music only to be stuck with more racism and a lower status. The higher ups were loudmouths standing in the way of his goal.

 So he decides to eliminate them instead.

 Alastor would soon be known as the greatest radio host in the city…and the Louisiana Lunatic serial killer. He takes great care to avoid the Axeman, and even writes a similar letter that he made, telling people to play jazz at night.

 1920s

The Roaring 20s begins, the peak of Alastor’s life. He basks in wealth and fame, drinking liquor, bitter coffee, and flirting with women. He meets flapper performer Mimzy who quickly becomes his best friend. Mimzy falls in love with Alastor but he doesn’t feel the same way. They nearly have sex but Alastor refuses. Mimzy wants to marry Alastor and go on extravagant tours around the world. But Alastor prefers peace and quiet in the wilderness. Mimzy is saddened at this but they still remain close friends, performing and dancing together.

 Mimzy accidentally drinks a poisoned drink set by Alastor that was meant for a womanizer rapist he was watching. He is heartbroken over his friend’s death. He doesn’t want to be tied down and he thinks his sexuality is something that is wrong with him. (The term asexuality didn’t exist and he remembers when his grandparents suggested he be put in an asylum).

 During the Roaring Twenties, Alastor begins his killing spree of racist men, rapists, and criminals. He is called the Vigilante and the Louisiana Lunatic and kills his victims in various ways. Guns, knives, axes, traps, and fire were some of the many tools he used. Alastor spares women and children.

 Alastor flirts with women and manipulates them because it’s fun to do. People who made deals with him often found their money stolen by him. Many women are charmed by Alastor but Alastor doesn’t get intimate with any of them. He enjoys dancing with women and being on stage. Alastor lavishes in wealth, buying new red suits and top hats, a fancy red car and a microphone cane with golden deer antlers.

 On the radio, Alastor tells dad jokes (especially radio-themed ones) and describes the deaths of his victims in detail. No one suspects that he is the killer until much later. Alastor also pulls pranks on people for fun (thumbtacks, kick me signs, soap in drinks, whoopee cushions, plastic doorways). Before the end of every program, he plays his favorite song, “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile.”

  1926

(The events of “Princess and the Frog” take place.)

Dr. Facilier’s shadows capture 30 year old Alastor and Dr. Facilier steals some of his stuff. Dr. Facilier mocks him and says that he’ll get to watch all of New Orleans fall. Facilier grins at the thought of being all powerful and watching the Loa steal Alastor’s soul. Alastor is shocked by the betrayal and his cruelty. Before Dr. Facilier can kill his helpless cousin, the shadows arrive with the frog Naveen. Alastor uses the distraction to escape. (Alastor couldn’t bring himself to kill his cousin). Dr. Facilier is dragged into the Voodoo spirit world by the Loa after failing to keep the talisman intact. A victorious Alastor grins as his cousin is dragged away screaming. Alastor is more than happy to announce his death on the radio.

 The other Axeman’s letter:

Hell, 1929

Esteemed Mortal of New Orleans: The Louisiana Lunatic

 They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the sound waves that surround your earth. I am not a human being, but a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians call the Louisiana Lunatic. Down here, I’m the inevitable Radio Demon.

When I see fit, I shall appear and claim other victims as I see fit. I alone know whom they shall be. No clues will be left behind, save for what you might hear on the next broadcast.

Tell the police and the racist, elite scum of the world to beware. Let them try not to discover who I am, for it’d be better for them not to have been born than to incur the wrath of the Louisiana Lunatic. You’ll have a deer in the headlights look and won’t have any idea what hit you until after it’s too late.

Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a monster and murderer. But if I wanted to hurt anyone else here, I would have done so already. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your city every night. I could kill every one of your best and worst citizens, for I am in a close relationship with the Shadows of the Other Side.

At 6:06 pm next Friday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans and then visit those in Hell. I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:

I am very fond of jazz music, electro swing, and jambalaya. I swear by all the Loas and deities that I will spare those who can provide me with some great entertainment when I visit. Word of warning, I can read you people like a book, and see into your very souls. Anyone foolish enough to challenge me will have their corpses consumed and their screams muffled by the lovely sound of jazz bands jamming the night away.

I have been, am, and will be, the worst spirit that ever existed in fact, fantasy, or the realm of Hazbins.

Smile and stay tuned!

  1929

The Great Depression comes into effect as well as the Stock Market Crash of 1929. Alastor enjoys reading about the chaos in the newspaper. People frantically sell their stuff and beg for jobs and money. He also enjoys seeing the orphans suffering homeless in the streets as it reminds him of his better off status. He also finds children annoying and undisciplined, a leftover trait from his father.

 But soon, things take a downward turn. Alastor begins to lose money and food, his former glory days over. Alastor hoards radios and radio furniture in his house. He grows bony thin and his eyes have bags under them. Alastor grows unhealthy due to lack of food, and (almost!) resorts to cannibalism. He also fears losing his radio audience due to the prospects of TV. He meets Russian born Vincent (Vox), an ABC broadcasting company CEO who taunts him for his race and career. They get into a fight but victorious Vox leaves, saying to him that his days are over.

 Alastor becomes depressed, cutting into his skin for rituals or just to taste his own blood…to feel something. His self-inflicted cuts add to the scars on his back and body from his dad and struggling criminals.

  1929

Alastor finds an abandoned baby in a dumpster and briefly takes care of her. The Japanese baby is Nerissa Nefuti, also known as Niffty. Niffty is placed in an orphanage where she gets adopted by a picture bride and her husband, who travel to their home in California.

 1933

Alastor becomes more careless with his killings, and is soon discovered by police in 1933. The police sends dogs after him, a German Shepard, a Pit Bull, and a hunting Black Lab dog. As he runs, he is bitten by a rabies infected dog in an alley. Alastor races through the snowy woods, experiencing painful headaches, and hallucinations of drowning and his parents being killed as deer. The police dogs bite at his legs but he shakes him off and runs some more.

 A deer hunter spots him, thinking he’s a deer at first. He is fearful and disgusted by the madman who rushes at him head on. The hunter is Vox’s friend and Vox smirks. Alastor’s insane eyes beg the hunter to finish him off, as he didn’t want to be arrested. The hunter almost shoots him but finds he can’t do it. Vox then shoots Alastor between the eyes and his body falls. (Video Killed the Radio Star). The dogs bark and maul at Alastor moments before the gunshot. The police arrive and see the hole in his forehead, his glazed eyes, bloodied clothing and frozen smile. Alastor’s body is promptly burned, his belongings destroyed and his radios given away to an antique shop. His death is announced on his own radio station by none other than Vox before it, too, is done for. Many of his fans are saddened but the majority of New Orleans is relieved that the killer is gone. Vox is hailed as a hero before he returns to his job in another state.

 Think that’s the end of Alastor’s story? Think again!

 (“Hazbin Hotel” by Vivziepop)

 Alastor arrives in Hell and becomes a red deer-like demon with sinister red eyes. With his human memories still intact and his new powers granted to him, he soon terrorizes Hell and broadcasts his massacres on the radio. This earned him the title of the Radio Demon. His shadow (Rotsala) had a life of his own, behaving much like Dr. Facilier’s sinister shadow sidekick. Alastor also has a microphone staff that allows him to broadcast anywhere in Hell. Alastor, too has singing friends on the other side.

 (Dr. Facilier eventually becomes a snake demon and Alastor’s helpless slave in Hell. The Loa in Guinee decide to further torment him by sending him to Hell’s greatest tormentor, Alastor. Dr. Facilier gets further humiliated when his younger cousin tortures him and reminds him that he now has his powers. Hence how Alastor became a “ripoff” of Dr. Facilier.)

 His parents are different as well. His father Armand became Neleus, a cruel black dog demon with large antlers. (Referencing Alastor’s fear of dogs and his father) His mother Antoinette became Poena, a humanoid red doe who can travel between Heaven and Hell.

 (The events of the Alastor Prequel Comic and the Hazbin Hotel Pilot Episode take place.)

 Alastor strolls around Hell, flirting with Victorian women and indulging in the act of cannibalism, thanks to his mentor Rosie. Alastor protects women from evil men but also doesn’t like strong-willed women who disagree with him or break the old societal standards. He reunites with Mimzy and they share a dance. Vox becomes a ruler over television, becoming Alastor’s powerful rival. While Vox seeks power through evolution, Alastor is content to be stuck in the past. (Alastor hates Vox, not just because of their differences in technology). Vox was also Niffty’s abusive husband.

 Alastor makes deals with the cleaning cyclops Niffty and the alcoholic cat demon Husk. Both of them protect Alastor and do tasks for him in exchange for safety and comfort. Everyone runs away at the sight of him, leaving him with no real companions. (He misses his mother dearly, and will do anything to reunite with her). Alastor grows to dislike people in elite authority positions, and finds it hard to express his true feelings to anyone.

 Feeling bored and lonely over the decades, Alastor seeks out a new form of entertainment. Alastor knows that Vox could overpower him easily if he doesn’t seek new alliances. Alastor witnesses Charlie, the princess of Hell on TV talk about her plan to redeem sinners by opening up a hotel. It is her hope that demons can become better individuals so they can go up to Heaven and be safe from the yearly exterminations that take place in Hell. Alastor visits said hotel and offers to help. He meets Charlie’s girlfriend Vaggie, and Angel Dust, one of the hotel clients. Alastor fixes up the hotel with his magic and summons Niffty and Husk to his aid. He almost convinces Charlie to make a deal with him. Charlie instead orders him to help her out. The two share a dance before Alastor protects the hotel from another villain. Everyone knows that Alastor is up to no good, but Charlie decides to give him a chance.

 So there you have it: the two Shadow Men of New Orleans were once innocent boys who each wanted freedom, love and better lives. Alas, their choices along with their circumstances made them the popular shady showmen they are to this day. Is it unknown if these men can be redeemed or if they even want to at all. The two tales merge into one, with the most disturbing message of all. We all have shadows inside of us, and sometimes it doesn’t take much for a person to turn evil. Whether it be a slimy snake in the shadows or a dancing demonic deer, one can never be too careful when dealing with the darkness.

[glass-rose-paperweight]

2020 Was A Dumpster Fire - We Didn’t Start The Fire Parody

I was originally going to turn this into a Youtube video, but it ended up being more work than I was really ready to tackle, and it was not ‘sparking joy’, so I decided to abandon the project. However, I had already written up the lyrics for the parody, so I decided I would just post them on here. Note: I ended up adding verses and lines to one of the verses so I could fit everything in that I wanted to say, and I still didn’t cover everything that happened in this fucking year. Hope you enjoy

Protests in Hong Kong, riots in India Persian Gulf Crisis, a general is dead Yemen and Libya Civil War, fires in Australia Taliban peace treaty, disease starting to spread

Boris Johnson is a clown, Britain’s on it’s own now World war three drawing closer, and Kobe died Volcanoes erupting, Impeachment trial, Tiger King And why did Mr. Peanut have to say goodbye?

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  Can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

The Senate acquits Trump, Quarantine, no testing And now we have to deal with the CoronaVirus England still has their queen, Meghan and Harry are leaving Global disasters rage as the temperature rises

States of emergency, Houston has a cheating team Stock market crash and New planet discovery Same-sex marriage in Ireland, social distance, travel banned People hoarding toilet paper, sports canceled temporarily

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

Weinstein is guilty, lockdown in Italy Summer Olympics postponed, US election year  Syria Civil War, fires in California People are starting to die, Pope Francis livestream

UFO videos, murder hornets, black holes Black Lives Matter, more fires, we’re still in June Flash floods, hurricanes, cyclones, so much rain What do you mean there’s a crack on the moon?

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

African locust swarm, Ebola’s back, Parasite won  Title IX rehaul, Austria shooting spree Gay marriage in Costa Rica, brain eating amoeba Don’t let Grimes and Elon name babies Earthquakes, no handshakes, Twitter scams with high stakes Immigration, Trump labeled "antifa" a terrorist organization

*dead silence while I ponder what the fuck this world has come to*

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

Death of RBG, School starting back virtually Longest living Pope, Protests in Thailand Chadwick Bozemen dead, we just can’t get ahead Kim Jong Un death rumors and his sister was stanned

Beirut explosion, Lake Michigan erosion Trump has Corona, Eddie Van Halen died Mars 2020 rover goes, Africa free of polio Prince Charles of Luxembourg, We might have a vaccine

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

Who will win, election night, Georgia flipping, what a sight Destiel became canon before our president Doesn’t matter anyway, speedrun bury your gays Then the actors almost died in an accident

Widest voter turnout in history, Trump calling early  Bolivian President attacked with dynamite Nevada get your shit together, Putin resignation rumor Ted Bundy artist, Alex Trebek died

Kill all the mink in Denmark, it’s Grittney bitch, stop the count Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Election over Georgia and Pennsylvania flipped blue, Trump is gonna sue *music stops* and all this happened in the FIRST GODDAMN WEEK OF NOVEMBER *moment of silence for my sanity*

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

John Oliver Memorial Sewer Plant, Joe Biden is our President Over 75 million sick, Over 1.5 million dead Most active hurricane season, US exited the Paris Agreement  Ratatouille on Broadway, and Darth Vader dead

Covid reached Antarctica, Casey Goodson, Unus Annus Y yo a ti, Cas; Zodiac killer cipher solved Sean Connery died, Aliens are real according to the Israeli guy Exploding RV in Nashville, we can’t take it anymore!

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  Let just hope we don’t have to go Through this in twenty twenty-one, ne-one (x like 9 or something) 

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

2020 was a dumpster fire It was doomed to burn When the year first turned 2020 was a dumpster fire  I can’t believe we made it Was 12 months I hated

The rhyme scheme of this song was a bitch to try and get right. Technically, it changes for the last verse, but I had already more or less written it, and I didn’t feel like messing with it, so I just said ‘fuck it’ and went with what the rhyme scheme for the rest of the song was. 

Not everything that happened this year was bad, but, man, it was a year. I’m American, so what happened was very America centric, but I tried to branch out and be international with what was going on. Even with the extra verse and extra lines, I still didn’t manage to get everything. One of the most recent developments that I just wasn’t able to include is that abortion is now legal in Argentina, whoo whoo.

[cinaed]

Reading Wednesday

Or Thursday, because days of the week are hard. Recently Finished 

Still chipping away at my pile of library books, which means I read Downbelow Station by C.J. Cherryh, The Mortal Word by Genevieve Cogman, and A Princess in Theory by Alyssa Cole.  

Downbelow Station is the start of a space opera series chock full of complicated politics, people trying their best with bad information or bad situations, cool aliens, and landed me with an OT3. The first chapter was a bit rough to get things up, but I loved how Cherryh threw like twenty characters and fifteen plots at me and it all felt cohesive and easy to follow. Unfortunately my library doesn't have the rest of the series and most of her books don't seem to be available via ebooks, so I'm sad about not getting to read the rest. The Mortal Word is the latest book in Genevieve Cogman's Invisible Library series. This series is great, and this one was no exception, with more intrigue within the Library and outside as Irene is forced to solve a murder during a secret peace talk conference between the Fae and the dragons. I was a little sad that we got to see Bradamante and then she vanished after a few chapters, because my one complaint for this series is that Irene needs more female friends, but the book was still a very fun read and had some interesting set-up for future books.   A Princess in Theory is the first book in Alyssa Cole's Reluctant Royals series, which is essentially taking popular romance tropes and letting black women be the main character instead of a white woman. I've read one of Cole's historical romances in the past and enjoyed it a lot, but for this book I wanted to like it more than I did. I loved Naledi, a worn-down grad student who's trying to study infectious disease and keep herself together after aging out of the fostercare system, who begins receiving clearly scam letters from a person who tells her she is the long-lost betrothed of a prince of a small African nation, only to discover that person was telling the truth. But I never got attached to the love interest and the rest of the plot -- Naledi reuniting with her lost family and solving a mysterious illness in her new homeland -- felt very rushed.  

Currently Reading 

I'm about one-third of the way through Stuntwomen: The Untold Hollywood Story by Mollie Gregory, which is a history of stuntwomen in Hollywood from the silent era until now. It's an interesting but tough read -- so much discrimination, unsafe stunts, sexual harassment, pretty much everything you'd worry about. I wish Gregory would go into some more details at times. She drops a "three stuntwomen died" fact and then doesn't follow it up. That said, I'm fascinated.

What's Next

Well, The edge of anarchy : the railroad barons, the Gilded Age, and the greatest labor uprising in America has a hold on it and it's due this week, so I guess I'm reading that one next so the person waiting for it doesn't wait longer!

[ai-yo]

This shit has me thinking...

It sounds like this was supposed to be akin to like "adopt" an endangered animal thing where they send you a plush of a snow leopard and your money goes to helping the conservation efforts or whatever which would be ok but the whole "you can use this on official documents" had me sideeyeing

It doesn't surprise me that non Brits fell for this the same way how people that aren't African fell for the 419 Nigerian prince scam.

When all you know about Scotland is the movie Brave and the location where a lot of fantasy movies and TV shows are filmed. Then yeah I guess you know that sounds like fun having a Lordship like a fairy tale, because monarchy is not something that you're used to It's not reality.

When you know nothing of Nigeria let alone anything African and the only vaguely African thing you know is charity adverts, Lion King and Coming to America you are gonna fall for someone claiming to be Prince Akeem.

"He must be legit because Africa is sooo poor from what I've seen in charity adverts so if he can afford a computer to send emails then he really is a Prince!"

I knew that established titles sponsor that I saw sounded iffy because how can you bestow the title of lord or lady, like how do they have the power to do that?

Getting a OBE in England, having the title Sir or Dame is not exactly easy so having the Lord or Lady title in Scotland like no it can be as easy as just paying money to supposedly own a tiny slither of land

[hadarlaskey]

Jungle Cruise

Expectation management is a vastly undervalued skill. Get it right and you can deliver much better results than your audience ever imagined possible – even if you knew the odds were actually in your favour to begin with. So to Jungle Cruise, a Disney adventure based on one of their theme park rides.

It’s 1916 at the Royal Geographical Society in London. Dr Lily Houghton (Emily Blunt) illicitly searches for a mysterious arrowhead that can unlock the secrets of a “tree of life” in the Amazon jungle, while her brother MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) tries to convince the Society’s all-male professors that an expedition to find the tree and its petals could yield wondrous advances for medicine. MacGregor is laughed off stage but Lily snags the arrowhead right under the nose of evil German aristo Prince Joachim (Jesse Plemons) and his minions, who are also after the tree, only for nefarious means.

The siblings begin a perilous boat trip up the Amazon at an inauspicious Brazilian backwater, where they enlist wisecracking captain Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson) to help find the tree. Skint Frank runs tourist cruises on the river, scamming them with staged “attacks” from natives. Before long our trio are fighting undead conquistadors trapped in the jungle and the villainous prince who has followed them to South America in a submarine.

Johnson lands more jokes in his opening scene than some comedy actors manage in 90 minutes. He also wrestles a leopard. Blunt is the superior action star on show here though – fearlessly fighting, jumping and climbing like a cynicism-free female Indiana Jones. Whitehall, a popular if divisive British TV personality, is sympathetic and amusing. A scene in which MacGregor comes out to Frank (albeit with a degree of ambiguity) is handled delicately, and feels like a landmark moment for a Disney family film. Elsewhere, Paul Giamatti makes the most of a small part as Amazon boat bigwig Niro, while Plemons is great value.

Hilarious, filthy moments of innuendo pepper the script, the influence of Bad Santa writers Glenn Ficarra and John Requa (who comprise two-thirds of the writing team alongside Michael Green, who co-wrote Logan and Blade Runner 2049) keenly felt. The final act drags a little and there’s some ropey CGI in places, but director Jaume Collet-Serra keeps the energy up and the performances lively as he manages the considerable budget step-up from his usual (excellent) B-movie fare.

Even with such likeable, charismatic leads, few could have hoped for a more enjoyable romp from a film that essentially crosses The Mummy with Pirates of the Caribbean, and is based on a theme park ride that was itself originally inspired by John Huston’s 1955 adventure The African Queen. Expectations be damned. Subtly progressive and tremendous fun, Jungle Cruise is the best family blockbuster of the year.

ANTICIPATION. Charismatic leads and a solid director… albeit with theme-park ride source material. 3

ENJOYMENT. Outrageously entertaining and even contains a few unexpectedly moving moments. 4

IN RETROSPECT. Joyful family entertainment that’ll keep naughty parents amused too. 4

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramirez

The post Jungle Cruise appeared first on Little White Lies.

source https://lwlies.com/reviews/jungle-cruise/

[respectingromance]

Remember how excited I was for A Princess in Theory to come out? Unfortunately, that was the highlight of my reading experience. I didn’t ever manage to get into the story. I liked the hero, Thabiso. Even though he makes a big mistake by lying to Ledi about who he is, he’s a kind and considerate person. I always like a hero who is a good person (even if he is privileged and needs to learn the phrase “thank you”). A lot of the times that he tries to tell Ledi the truth and doesn’t, it’s because he’s respecting Ledi’s wishes. Ah, Ledi. Ledi, Ledi, Ledi. She’s the biggest reason I struggled so much with this book. She is so emotionally closed off that I actually celebrated when she laughed on page 100. She’s a foster kid and a black woman trying to make it in a STEM field, so I understood her carefulness. I did not understand how little she seemed to enjoy anything. Her job sucks, she’s worried about exams, her other job sucks, she’s poor, she has a friend who drinks too much. So basically, the same problems of many modern people who still manage to crack a smile. I probably could have forgiven Ledi her coldness if she just hadn’t been so judgmental! The best example concerned Portia, her rich best friend who drinks too much and does things like show up at Ledi’s house late at night. Basically, everything Portia does is bad and everything Ledi does is good. When it’s revealed that Portia may have suspected that Thabiso was lying, Ledi punishes Portia for it more than she does Thabiso. And Ledi thinks bad things about Portia all the time. Once, Portia mentions struggling to get past the first date and Ledi thinks but doesn’t say that Portia “hooks up” more than dates. It was randomly uncharitable thoughts like that about a woman Ledi supposedly cares about that frustrated me throughout the book. And then at the end, Portia does something self-sacrificing and Ledi magnanimously “forgives” her while demanding that their friendship somehow change to be better, when all I was seeing the whole time was someone struggling and another person judging them for it. It’s the worst female friendship that I’ve read in a romance novel in a long time. Finally, I had some problems with dropped and rushed story elements. The book is slow going into the first half, but picks up again when Ledi goes to Thabiso’s country, before a bunch of things get crammed into the last ten pages. Ledi’s parents fleeing Thesolo is dealt with very casually for an event that deeply affected multiple lives. And then there are little things like the DNA test that Ledi took but refused to look at the results of. You think it’s going to impact the story but... nope, it’s just nothing. Or how Ledi is worried about her exams so much she can’t do much but study... and then her exams are barely mentioned when she leaves for Thesolo. I could go on because it’s easier to rant about what you didn’t like than to describe what you did, but that’s not fair. What I liked: I loved the premise, I thought it was amusing that Ledi was getting emails from an African prince saying she was his betrothed and she thought it was a scam. I liked Thabiso’s assistant, Likotsi, and her masculine wardrobe. It was fun to read about Thesolo, the fictional African country that Thabiso is prince of. Thesolo is a little idealized (there’s a city on a mountain that you can only reach by donkey but somehow has heated streets and a hospital. I’m not saying that’s not possible but it could have been made more probable by mentioning a road) but it’s a Cinderella story, so why not go for broke. I ended up giving A Princess in Theory three stars. That’s my rating for books I finish but that don’t blow me away. Some of that could be on me. I wanted a Cinderella story with lots of fun and humor and I got something more serious. Last note because this is a sticky issue for romance readers: The story has a HFN ending. I don’t think it’s because Ledi and Thabiso wouldn’t end up together forever, but rather that it’s 2018, they’ve known each other a few weeks and it wouldn’t make sense for them to declare eternal love when Ledi hated him for lying just a few days before. It’s very realistic, if something of a letdown.