#like thats not hyperbolic she agrees

[daydrinking75]

the innocence in me has died

and i feel guilty all the time

i think too much

but thats alright

you tell me why dont you just lie

i know its true

all roads lead back to you

[gibbearish]

reddit refuses to stop recommending me the antinatalist sub and i just saw a post from there saying "women who breastfeed in public or on streams are just doing it for male attention" like dude that's literally just Regular Old Misogyny. this isn't an antinatalist thing you're just misogynistic is all

[kaisfruit]

Hiiii loved your first first about kai!

Could I request a one shot or headcanon about each of the ninja and how they would pleasure a fem!reader pls?

How they pleasure you | All ninja x fem!reader headcanons

a/n: omg tysm for my first ask <3 this is like,,one of the few times ive ever written nsfw so!! i hope its okay :3 also im gonna leave out lloyd cuz ik technically he's an adult but idk it's still a bit weird imo warnings: nsfw under the cut (duh),cunnilingus (cole, zane, nya) , slight size kink mention in cole's part, degradation in kai's part, inappropriate usage of elemental ability (jay), umm thats all i can think of im srry if i missed anything ^^

Cole

Ugh idec he's a big guy. is that a collective hc that the whole fandom can agree on? i think so

def uses that size to his advantage when y'all are alone together

I'm talking like MANHANDLING

only if u ask tho cuz cmon we all know he is such a caring guy he would always take your wants and boundaries into account

okay, my horrible down bad size kink out of the way-

mans has a big appetite (wink wink)

goes down on you like no other. like, he treats your pussy like it's breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND DESSERT babes

there would be no breaks with him. i cant say this enough, but he is eating you out like a man starved

overstimulation bound to happen srry i dont make the rules

he would NOT ask for anything in return

this man is the biggest giver when it comes to sex oh my lorddd

you're in charge but like he is if you know what i mean?

like he does what he knows you love, but on his own terms

ur in the bed and he's just instantly pinning you down yk using that strength of his, spreading your legs as far as the can go, and boom diving in head first

srry i could fill up like 3 posts of just cole eating you out im that passionate abt this topic

Kai

Plays with your pleasure like it's a damn toy

This man is the biggest tease ever

Though, his teasing does lean a bit towards minor body worshipping bc he's just everywhere

Marking you up with hickeys wherever he can get his damn mouth

Hands? can barely keep track of their movements. One second they're playing with your tits the next he's two fingers deep in your pussy

Let's just say he's taking his time here just to make the actual sex feel absolutely amazing on your end

But rlly it gets him going seeing you all whiny beneath him at his never ending touches

it's a win-win if you think about it

THAT DAMN MOUTH.

kai is not the guy for u if ur not down for a bit of degradation because DAMN

he has to come second place to jay in the yapping awards bc he's always saying smthn during the act

he pays attention though. listens or feels your reactions to every filthy thing he whispers to you.

absolutely ruins u for anyone else. gl w this man yall <3

Zane

He is so damn PRECISE??

Like, how does he know exactly how to touch you in that spot in order to get that reaction?

LOVES i mean like absolutely LOVES fingering you

being able to watch you come undone on just his fingers? god it is everything to him

will also add his tongue into the mix bc even tho hes a robot he cannot get enough of ur taste

just so calculated w every movement

bro made sex into a science 😭😭

tells you how good you're doing for him, how perfect you look, etc.

loves praising you bc it's the honest truth of how he feels about you

tbh 50% of the pleasure he gives u is from the pure love u can feel with every slight touch, every kiss, everything

soft dom vibes iykwim

REFUSES to even try to get himself off if he hasnt attended to you first

also an extreme giver like

he would get rid of entire body parts if it meant making u feel even better during sex

okay thats hyperbole but like

this nindroid has so much love in his robot heart for u and he needs u to KNOWWWW

Nya

A GIRL'S GIRL U ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS

she has all of these boys BEAT when it comes to pleasuring u bc of her same gender advantage

her head will stay in between your legs until you are absolutely SCREAMING her name

that fact fills her with immense amounts of pride btw

i see her as giving u a good mix of gentle and rough touches that like come together to make the most intense feeling ever??? if that makes sense

she's so good w her mouth like,,,everywhere

her favorite place to have her mouth is on ur pussy ofc, but she could also give a vampire a run for their money with how attached to ur neck she is

marks litter your neck

she's so good at finding that one little sweet spot that makes your body squirm

tends to multitask as well

like if she's currently a knuckle deep in your hole then you can also probably find her mouth licking and sucking at one of your nipples

everything she does to you is just so confusing in the best way possible

Jay

everything with him is just so fast-paced

he barely gives you any time to catch your breath in between anything

just one thing after another with jay

it mostly comes from his overzealous nature

your body makes him feel like a kid in a candy store im not even gonna lie. there's so much he could be doing he doesn't even know where to start

constantly talking. what did you expect from the motormouth himself?

half of it's mumbles of how gorgeous or how breathtaking you are and the other half is just downright filthy

honestly that second part would be such a turn on cuz u wouldn't have expected it from jay

the first time he used his element on you it was an accident

he didn't even realized it happened at first. he felt you jolt at the sensation and his first instinct was to apologize instantly, but he never even had a chance as he felt how you clenched down on his fingers and the moan u let out would forever be ingrained in his brain

from that point on, he's constantly looking for the best opportunity to let the smallest current just give a little tingle to your skin

jay really knows how to keep things interesting <3

[qqlettuce]

Twitter is dumb for writing longer form opinion pieces so I'm going to put this here: On Twitter there's been a lot of heated discussion over the way the IDW artists and writers handle their depictions of the characters. And if you genuinely feel they've done a disservice to them, its fine, your feelings are valid, and the point of this isn't to tell you that you're wrong and that the people working on IDW Sonic are infalible. Where I take issue is people trying to paint them as the sole destructors of this franchise. That artists like Evan Stanley are warping characters like Silver to fit their own preferences or that Ian Flynn is hellbent on destroying a well grounded world so that his visions may overtake it. I'm not being hyperbolic but during my relatively short time in this fandom I have been seeing more and more harsher statements regarding these people under the shield of "criticism". There is nothing wrong with criticism, but how can it be good faith when you're attempting to directly attack their character. You could dismiss it as just banter, but fandom in general tends to have an issue with dehumanizing creators, either by creating a boogeyman out of them or speaking of them as a monolith, and in the Sonic fandom, there's a long history of examples as how nasty this can get with people like Ken Pontac, Warren Graff, Takashi Iizuka and yes, Ken Penders. Ken Penders especially is the grand example of what can happen when this is left unvetted for so long. Is there any reason why people continue to devote so much negative energy to a man who hasn't been relevant to the series in like 20 years? Is this someone that still needs to be a butt of a joke or have hundreds of YouTube documentaries made out of them. All because he made weird hedgehog comics? I could talk about CWC as well and how the internet will never take responsibility for their fate, but that's a whole other road. Admittedly one of my initial responses to the recent discourses directed at Evan's depiction of Silver on Twitter was more emotional, but as I hinted earlier, there has been more and more targeted comments at her, and I felt it especially reached a boiling point once she confirmed on twitter that two background characters in the Trial by Fire arc were gay. Something like this a major change to the status quo of Sonic, so it's not unreasonable to think many see her as a threat to the franchise. Why all of a sudden after her many years of working on Sonic, is there so much attention being put on her like this? So far none of this has anything to do with the contents of IDW Sonic, because I feel thats not really where I take most issue with all this controversy. But I did some more thinking and I will still engage this. As far as I know, IDW Sonic is not some unmanageable operation. SEGA/Sonic Team are heavily involved in its production, as a response to what transpired with Archie Sonic. It's stories and new characters all go through a thorough vetting process, there's a lot of back forth to ensure whatever gets printed meets their apparent standards. And yes, this gets as strict as the facial expressions.

I agree that facial expressions are an integral part of understanding the soul of a character. It is something that should not be taken for granted. I personally don't feel that the artists in question break off more than what is necessary given the context of the situations and the medium of comics itself, but again, if you feel otherwise, then I don't think the blame is just solely on the artist when the approval process is this tight. People like Evan and Ian are freelancers at a third-party company handling the IP. I don't think they have as much leverage as people seem to think they do, ESPECIALLY during the early run of the comic. Again, you can say that the artists dropped the ball here, but I think SEGA had all the power to give them the appropriate notes and those artists would have complied because well... they're professional artists. And if this is something they're truly incapable of being subordinate to, then they could've been terminated from their jobs a long time ago. Now don't misconstrue this as me trying to say "WELL IF SEGA APPROVED IT, THAT MEANS ITS GOOD ACTUALLY XDDD". No actually, if SEGA approved it, and things still aren't up to par, that means there must be a systematic failure that goes down the entire line. In fact I'm willing to bet most critics would agree with that since there seems to be a sentiment that Sonic as whole has been in limbo for a very long time, it goes way beyond IDW. Games like Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic 06 are apparently ones that Sonic Team will never be able to live down. Sonic Forces was also seen as a large failure, and as a result, demands for an actual proper game were pretty high when Frontiers was announce And then the day the IGN Gameplay footage dropped, I was demoralized to read many foul things being said about Sonic Team and Morio Kishimoto. It made shockwaves throughout the internet, with every content creator and influencer hopping on board. It wasn't just about graphical/gameplay concerns, it was straight up calling their competence into question, calling for the team to be terminated and replaced by people who could supposedly do a better job. I'm sorry, as much as I've grown to love this franchise, I can not value the perceived quality of a product over the hearts and efforts of artists who work under strenuous conditions to make it possible. People's tones have cooled since the game's release, but I don't think being "proven wrong" is what should've been required to respect these people. Hell, even YUJI UEKAWA, whose artwork is supposedly the gold standard for how Modern Sonic should be depicted, and whom many of his contemporaries are compared to, has recently been under scrutiny by fans, saying that he's become a worse artist over time. At the end of the day, remember we're talking about living breathing people. Don't turn them into scapegoats when everything about creating works is a collaborative process. There are no heroes or villains. Their humanity should be respected when critiquing their work, and the same when praising them. I don't think most people actually enjoy being put on such a high pedestal anyway.

[goosse]

!!! BEWARE !!!

i am going to rant about my mental health

you have been warned

i found out i was probably autistic a few months ago and told my gp at my last appointment with him and he agreed i should get a diagnosis, so i have reasonable evidence and a second party all pointing towards me having autism. ive come to terms with it entirely and am very open about it with most of my friends, only the ones ive most recently met. the first person i told was my sister and she was very accepting, but i havent told anyone else in my family because i feel like the idea of me being autistic will either be completely rejected or i will be treated entirely differently and it sucks. i want to tell my family, but it just wouldnt go well. when i thought i had adhd i tried mentioning it to my mother and she rejected the mere idea within a second. thats not even a hyperbole she didnt even process the statement it was an immediate "you dont have adhd". she is CONVINCED im completely neurotypical. my older brother is just a dick and i know that he would be extra dick-ish upon finding out im autistic. its not a fun predicament and im not sure how to handle the situation so. thats a thing

rant over

[jhemiesblog]

CONTRACT INFORMATION:

Jhemie Manio Villanueva

Sta lucia Resettlement Magalang Pampanga

Philippines

09982961190

jhemievillanueva5@gmail.com

BONDING

Cast of Characters:

Jhemie(Friend 1) the active one

Jeah (Friend 2) the introvert

Kyle (Friend 3) the joker

TIME:

The present

Synopsis:

A group that wants to bond and enjoy because they want to have fun and go to different places.

Setting:

Place, Baguio city

*In a group, Jhemie said go to Baguio city to bonding and enjoy this time and jeah, kyle agree.

Jhemie:

Yoo!, guys let's go to Baguio because it's too hot here(thermal) and I want see a beautiful nature.

Jeah:

(*Nod) Me too.

Kyle:

Yeah let's go, there are many beautiful places there.

*after that they decide to go the bus terminal and buy 3 tickets trip to baguio , after that they arrived at 12pm in the noon.

Kyle:

Wow!(*surprised😯) this is my first time on baguio and im surprised because Baguio city looks like heaven in beauty(hyperbole)

Jhemie:

yeah you're right, baguio is indeed beautiful, and so is Jeah(simili)

Jeah:

Jhemie just shut the fck up , you're so annoying but thanks( irony)

Jhemie:

hey guys im hungry, so lets go find some food for our hungry stomach

*after that they go to the public market and look for the food they want and Jhemie saw something.

Jhemie:

oooh,guys i saw something that looks like yummy ,(visual)

Jeah/Kyle:

ohh where is it??

Jhemie:

there it looks like yummy and thats smells like sweet and savory (olfactory, gustatory)

Kyle:

oh yeah i think we need to buy this for our hungry stomach.

Jeah:

oooh yeah this pancake is fluffy(tactile) too and i think we need to buy it for ourselves

Jhemie:

okay guys lets eat and enjoy our delicious food.

*after eating they decide to go and explore other things for more fun and memorable bondings

Jhemie:

lets go guys, theres an jeepney calling our attention using her horn *meep meep meep (auditory)

Jeah:

okay let's go

Kyle:

wow the jeepney is too fast it looks like an Cheetah(personification) lets go have a good trip

*they arrived at the designated destination

Kyle:

Wow! this place is incredible and awesome

Jeah:

yeah thats true.

Jhemie:

Kyle you're so Overacting about the place and the things you see you can be an character in a movie example: Olaf(metonymy)

Jeah:

can we go now?? it so annoying,this place is occupied on small crowds per corner,(oxymoron)

Jeah:

then lets go and find another place, this place gave me a trauma and my cat passed away since 2014.(euphemism) and shes get hit by a car

Jhemie:

sorry, okay kyle lets go Jeah isn't comfortable here lets go find another place to explore

Kyle:

okieeeee.

*And then after that they ride a jeepney again and go to the other place and then the rain Came.

Kyle:

men how can me enjoy this bonding its raining and there's a little hit wet water in front of us.(understatement)

Jeah:

Kyle! pls stop joking you're not funny your so annoying

Kyle:

okay sorry

Jhemie:

wow, my mom texted me she said that ,my mom bought me a new wheel(synecdoche). lets go , lets go home now and use my new wheel to try and explore more things and places for our great bonding.

kyle:

wow you're so lucky men

Jeah:

okay congrats, lets go.

*Then they decide to go home quickly and try jhemie's new car and continue their bonding.

THE END.

[viktoriakomova]

ok i just had to drive 5 hours so i caught up on gymcastic to pass the time. and (im about to shock you all, especially the anons who have said for weeks i hate the world and exist to spread negativity lol) im...... gonna defend jessica here????

i heard the n*zi quip she made about mailie on beam. i saw all the commotion surrounding it but hadnt really gone to listen for myself. jessica has become so annoying over the last couple years, she used to offer like.... actual analysis (that i rarely agreed with but hey) and now she just speaks in hyperbolic flattery of the gymnasts and tries very very very hard to be funny (typically fails), and spencer is the one moving the show along and sharing information of actual substance about the athletic performances that happen in competition and the scores they receive.

all that is to say, that soundbite wasnt really...... a n*zi joke...? dont get me wrong, i 100000% see why someone (esp a jewish person) would be really really put off by so casually invoking that whole very dark chapter of history, esp when she was talking about it like it was a CoD game or some shit. sigh. it was like 14% offensive, it wasnt even really a joke ABOUT n*zis or anything ideologically relevant to that, she was just saying it as a stand-in for "bad guy." which is annoying and #problematic in itself, BUT, saying she made a n*zi joke kind of just strikes me as like........ the worst-faith interpretation of the whole thing you could possibly take away???

it was stupid. it was cringey. it was an astoundingly poorly executed attempt to be funny, because that's her gimmick now i guess. and it was also not taken out of context, because the context of the whole comment was just as shallow and dumb as it was in sound-bite form lol, so thats not a defense of what she said. but (and again, i know its shocking coming from me!) it seems pretty obvious to me that people latched onto it bc they (we...) already cant stand her, so every dumb thing she says is going to be nitpicked lol.

tl;dr is it Really that serious? esp relative to all the other actually really unsavory things shes said completely genuinely? :/

[dog-ending]

ngl oneof my guiltiest pleasures is seeing a really really obvious troll post/hyperbolic shitpost, and then going through the notes to find the Discourse™ from people who took every single word with absolute seriousness at face value and bone up on the wildest, spiciest, most incomprehensible takes the likes of which you could never dream

like you'll see a post thats like "ummmmm green socks are homophobic and sexist and if you have ever worn just one green sock even once youre a racist uwu" and the notes will be swarmed with "UM ACTUALLY IM GAY AND MY DEAD MOM BOUGHT ME THOSE SOCKS" and genuine fighting and hurt feelings over it will be all over the notes, even if they agree green socks arent a problem they'll find something in it to be mad about i love that shit

if youre lucky you get to see someone be like "guys its a troll" and a ton of rbs like "but who would do that??? just go tell lies on the internet??? who does that????" or "but a girl at my school actually said this once (i think, my friend said she did anyway) so its a real and serious problem!!!"

[teawiththegods]

SS1: Sorry this is not related to religion or anything. I'm kinda struggling with my sexuality. I used to be so sure I liked girls. e.g when i went to my friends 18th last year, there was this girl there and holy lord. She was, is, the most beautiful human being I have ever seen in the entirety of my brief existence. I cannot even begin to describe, english does not have words adequate enough to tell of her beauty. So when spin the bottle began, i was like, lord pls. ok this is a bit long sorry

SS2: ok we back, sorry, i just have a lot of feels atm. I hope this is ok. Sorry. Where was I, spin the bottle. I literally have never wanted to kiss and hug and love someone more in my brief life so I was in. I also was so fkn afraid oml! Again, cannot describe the fear. SO the bottle spins a few times and it doesnt hit me, or her, its everyone else. i am just there, stock still and so afraid, cause I have never kissed anyone or been kissed, let alone by someone so divine! and then I spun it an SS3: and it landed on her. and i stg i had a heart attack or an outer body experience. and she could see i was hesitant so could my friends (I feel like i should clarify it was a few girls and one guy, and I am a girl so this is new territory for me) but they asked me if i had every kissed anyone and I was like no cause twas the truth and my mumma didnt raise no liar. But i was just frozen in my spot looking at her like a dumbass cause she was so mcfreakin beautiful and so she was like SS4?: she was like how about you kiss my cheek. So i did and oml, she was so soft and her eyes are so beautiful and yeah. and then i spun the bottle again and it landed on another girl and so i kissed her cheek and then stuff and 100% regret, not kissing her like deep deep regret but at the same time, ya girl was aboutta have a full on anxiety attack, not hyperbole, like my breath was fkn gone. but still big big regret and at this point your probably like, well there is your answer however SS5 (im sorry this is so long but i have no one to talk to about this and i cant get it off my mind tonight): However, (context, i came out as bi a few years ago) My parents sat me down and were like "Are you really bi because aside from dropping the term, ha gay, or, thats how i knew i was bi, here and there, you don't talk or express this." and i couldn't speak. I felt like I had become totally mute. I wanted to say bisexuality was a spectrum and that yeah, maybe i like lots of dudes but i was SS6: (SO SORRY!!!) but i was so sure that i liked girls. and they took my silence as proof and I couldn't say anything. I had nothing so they were like, "you cant pretend, it doesn't end well" and I was like ye, i know thanks except i couldnt talk so i sat there like a dumbass just agreeing with what they said cause i made sense, and it does make sense. my mum said "you can have huggy touchy relationships with girls without it being sexual or romantic" which made sense. but at the same time, i SS7: (Yikes this is long im so sorry), I can guarantee you, the way i wanted to worship that girl was romantic af. I didn't want to talk boys or converse over common interest and that be all. For the hour or so that I talked to her till the moment, she curled up in my lap (twas a party, she was drunk and i wasn't going to do anything cross my heart hope to die also i a lot of person and I sort of think we had a thing but idk again she was drunk so all kinda nullified). In the hour or so i talke SS8: Sorry, as i was talking to her that night. I kinda rlly wanted to ask her out on a date. I wanted to spoil her, learn beside. Like she cooks and like real health food stuff, and she is so beautiful. I almost got cooking lessons from her but we're both so busy. Her passion is just so beautiful. I want to take her on picnics, hug her, forehead kiss her, I wanted to shower her in rose petals, buy her flowers, I wanted to have late night talks with her and know her ins and outs. We talk a while SSLastoneipromise: we talked a while after the party but, not anymore, I still follow her on instagram but, she's so far away and things are how things are sometimes and i get that. but my point is. She makes me question my questioning. Like was i right the first? Why can't I talk about it when it's important? like I know, 100%, that i was and am attracted to her, with feelings i do not have for my friends. I am frustrated and just want to know what is going on in my head! does that make sense? SSiknowisaidthelastonewastheLASTonebutitsthisone: i feel like i should mention that its not just her there are other women, i find attractive. i am just so sick of questioning and i am tired (sorry i am slightly sleep deprived which is why i am being a wanker) and I just want to exist as is and it not be a thing. like... does it matter if don't like tons and tons of girls, does it matter that is just one here and there that just blows me away

Just because you don’t or can’t talk about it doesn’t negate your feelings or your sexuality. Like I couldn’t talk about my abusive relationship for awhile so does that mean I wasn’t abused? I don’t talk about being a Hellenic Polytheist most of the times, does that mean I’m not one? No it doesn’t and the same applies to your bisexuality.

You are what you say you are. You said you felt so sure you were bisexual so that means you’re bisexual. No one else has the right to tell you who you are or to make you question what you know to be true in your heart. 

And you def can’t go by straight people or really anyone who isn’t bisexual, because there’s so many misconceptions on what bisexuality is and how its expressed, biphobia, and bi erasure that majority of the time non bisexuals have no fucking idea what they are even talking about. So don’t even listen to their nonsense. 

If the label of bisexuality resonates with you then claim it. It’s yours. 

[theorynexus]

Double Fives are first, today-- or two together-arranged, 55, I should say.

Also, we’re at Meat 30.   It would seem Jake, Karkat, and Dave are spending time together, this time.

Oh gosh...   I hope Karkat wasn’t made to endure that, considering he supposedly only ever left his house once per year, even if that might be a hyperbole. @w@            His interests and Jake’s are strongly opposed on that from, it would seem.   Thus, it might have been bad for deal-making, for reasons of souring Karkat’s mood; regardless, let’s see whether their other interests might align, or some non-detrimental arrangement (for Karkat, but hopefully for Jake too) might be found between them.

Ouch.    On the other hand, at least Karkat seems to have (likely) become more comfortable with outward signs of his blood’s color.   I doubt he would have failed to realize that it likely gives that impression, even if he originally intended it to be a sign of his closeness with Dave. He almost certainly would have semi-paranoid-ly weighed the pros and cons for his emotional well-being and/or all other consequences involved, and only come to the decision that the suit was acceptable for him to wear after deciding both connotations were acceptable.

Honestly, all things considered, Jake is very much correct. Considering the boost from all his rungs on the escheladder, there’s no way his physical capabilities should be that bad.  ... Though Jake’s estimates probably would be wrong for any other sort of being that was traveling with him. I don’t think his expectations are probably all that well gauged to the individuals in his company. It’s not that I think poorly of his intelligence, mind you. It’s just that Jake can be... rather oblivious, sometimes, if memory serves.

Yeah, his judgment is totally based on his own experience. Still, though, even coated in like 5 layers of fur, Karkat shouldn’t be that worn out. At least, from a world-building perspective, this doesn’t contradict the established rule that-- oh, wait, that was ghosts changing to fit the person’s perceptions, not God Tier players’ appearances, wasn’t it?  Hmmm.

Yes. Karkat’s diplomatic skills are impeccable.  There is absolutely nobody that can beat this guy when it comes to maintaining good relationships and reputations among the important powers of the world--- nobody!

I would suspect that Alt!Calliope is being petty, here, but I think it’s just Karkat being so tired that his coordination has dropped a bit.   (Also, this is honestly rather cute, and I appreciate the opportunity to giggle at it.)

Frack, Dave is good at bringing things up in the most awkward way possible. Also, that Karkat only estimates himself as being able to beat 99% of all humans in a “threshecution threshing match” is both quite comical and somewhat sad. ._. One Percent is a whole lot of people.

***facepalms with the greatest of groans***    SHE REALLY SHOULD FRICKING NOT!!!                        (Internet freedom for all!)   That said:  GAH, Dave, are you trying to sabotage Karkat’s chances, here? On the other hand: Maybe this propensity for blunt, careless words is one of the reasons that he decided he didn’t want to run for President, himself.   If so, good on him, I guess, for knowing himself that well.

( I will say, though, that that was honestly a nice segue, despite the fact that he sortof botched the lead-up to this via his rudeness.    Karkat gets a pass, though, because everyone knows he’s crude, and that’s part of the appeal.)

The real question is:  Are these campaign dollars as in a certain allocated amount that is allowed for each candidate, or money which was donated to the campaign by those who support them and/or Dave/Karkat?  That is a pretty important distinction, politically.  Not that either will likely be addressed and/or matter directly to the outcome of the race, probably. Oh, and those adds sound incredibly silly. I am not 100% sure that they will actually in all likelihood be effective, but they sure do sound comic-(sans)-ical. On the other hand:  Jake seems to be trying to mentally suppress what’s happening to him, probably due to his feelings toward Jane.   Welp.   :|

This is a very complicated issue, and for the sake of not offending either side, I shall choose to remain silent on the real world matter at hand, here.  On the other hand, I love the way that Karkat is just like, “SHUT UP, ALREADY.”   XD

Reminds me of Caliborn.     Indeed, that is definitely the reason why such committees are actually put into place (other than the compelling economic reasons incentives).    Doesn’t mean that they actually succeed in doing so perfectly, however.    It just makes it a grey “I guess maybe they were involved,” regardless of whether the person actually suggested such adds ought go into effect or not. Buuuuut... I’m going to refrain from pushing my promised non-commentary further than that-- and only did comment with this because of its relevance to Jake’s thought process.

It seems that Karkat agrees with my assessment of this matter.  Also, Alt!Calliope sure is quite sassy, compared to the grim and highly reserved person I thought she was. I wonder if it’s because she’s been watching essentially television for eons in order to properly understand humanity+maybe the trolls or whatever, or if it’s because she’s doing it on accident, as was my initial guess/impression, as related earlier in my liveblogs.

That’s not the point, Dave. The point is that, for one, it probably makes the audience think of you as irresponsible; secondly, it wastes the most precious resource in politics: the citizens’ limited attention spans; finally, it may actually make the two of you come off as being condescending and/or not having any actual idea what you’re talking about, which would be absolutely horrible for your chances, come election time.    While campaigns can indeed turn around in the latter months of election season, first impressions are also very important!

That is a very interesting point/question. And very ironic for him to ask; not that Dave actually can’t be properly understood through his layers of irony-- but rather, while he does indeed have a talent for that, his other qualities obscure it so badly as to make it seem quite unremarkable and hidden. And there Dave goes again, saying “thats basically true [sic.]”.   Magnificent. ***will not touch the matter of how straight-forward Dirk is***

...     Man.  Hopefully, this will serve as a lesson to the both of them.    Jake’s reaction is so bloody on the point, though. @w@

I do honestly appreciate that too.  Wow, though, he is being surprisingly civil and respectful as a result of this.  It shouldn’t honestly be a surprise, considering who Jake is.  It’s just... wow. I really appreciate the breath of fresh air.

Yeeeeesss!!!~    <3       I love everything about this that follows!    While he can be quite oblivious at times, I have always thought that Jake’s intelligence was top-notch, and I quite appreciate his flexing it, as well as that wonderfully noted breath of FREEDOM whizzing into his sails!

Boooooo!!!~     I really quite appreciate the correct and excellent display of entomological knowledge, here, but DANG, if Dirk isn’t a slimy piece of garbage, sometimes!     I mean, my gosh, the sociopathic logic, here.  It’s horrific! As for Jake:  I am very proud of him, and appreciate his very appropriate question. Everyone should ask the qualities that politicians bring to the table, policy-wise, and their (+ dis-)advantages--- not just how charismatic they are. Of course, such a statement is stating the obvious. ‘s still good to see it in practice. ... Wow, I really love Alt!Calliope’s sass. So much.

HECK YES! :’D

***grooooaaan***    

FINALLY, CERTAINTY!!!

Aside from his lack of attraction for her, which says nothing of importance, I do in fact agree with Karkat, here.  This is essentially the equivalent of the moment when the United States switched to the Constitution, and the country absolutely needed a Washington.  If Adams had actually been elected, instead of getting the second-highest sum of votes, then both the contry and the entire world could have turned out quite differently.  I, too, do  believe that Crocker could be reasonably said to have a fair chance at acting as a President who doesn’t really shake things up too terribly, and actually manages to set a perfectly fine, perhaps above average standard for Presidents to come.   There are, however, certain points in history which require great leaders if things are going to pan out well in the long-term. Crocker just presents far too many potential problems while not offering enough in the way of positives for me to give a strong endorsement of her, despite my desire to see a female president eventually take office in the United States’ equivalent of the station she and Karkat are competing over.

(SUPPORT KARKAT FOR HIS BETTER APPRECIATION OF FUNDAMENTAL PHILOSOPHICAL ORDERS OF IMPORTANCE.)

Yeeeeaaaahhh...   She was already quite twisted up (read: pained) inside during the session as a result of her concern for maintaining appearances and manipulating peoples’ perceptions of her, unless my memory is horrible in this particular act of dredging up long-ago readings’ implications, so I could certainly see that growing to be a problem as she grew up.    I’d sortof hoped that that would cease to be so much of an issue, after their session was won, considering the rewards involved/gained as a result of that.    :/

...    Yeah, that is a good deal of whiplash. I am honestly pained.

Dangit, I was so swept up in my spiel about the direct political consequences of that decision/strategy that I forgot to emphasize the very obvious danger of it actually alienating Jake from her!

***sobs***   I am so proud of him!    (Though this is not exactly the best reason for choosing one’s political decisions, I can definitely get behind the idea of him striving for independence from that manipulative cur.) 

What Dave said, but less profanity-laced! Also:   Am I incorrect in remembering that God Tier players past a certain Tier are able to wield any weapon they desire, regardless of whether they have a       Kind Abstratus of the appropriate sort in their strife specibus?  That could become relevant, some time in the near future.

[momestuck]

Epilogues: Candy, chapters 6-13 [the rest of Epilogue 2]

I’m told that there are 40 chapters, and a postscript, in Candy - and also that it’s split into 8 individual ‘epilogues’ within that, of varying length. ‘Epilogue 2′ began with chapter 4, featuring Rose and Kanaya. So I kind of cut it off in exactly the wrong place. Oops!

Anyway I’m going to split these up by Epilogue section from now on. This one covers the rest of Epilogue 2, which mostly concerns shipping, and processing of feelings.

Here are the irons in the fire at the outset of chapter 6:

Gamzee is back! he claims to be setting out on a ‘redemption arc’

Terezi is in space somewhere looking for Vriska, but set to return at some point, and not all that happy that Gamzee’s back

Dirk has perceived some bad news. And briefly spoken about it with Jane, though without explaining anything.

But that’s all Epilogue 1 stuff - old hat!

Rose has suddenly recovered from her illness, and is patching things up with Kanaya

Jade has attempted to push Dave and Karkat to admit they’re into each other, but really just made things worse

Jane attempted to run for President of Earth C - to the trepidation of the Karkat, who hyperbolically suggested this would amount to troll genocide - but abandoned the idea

That’s all interesting but let’s talk about money! This is something I didn’t pick up on in the last post:

KARKAT: OK, SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOUR PRIORITIES ARE: NUMBER ONE, THE ECONOMY, WHICH LET ME REMIND YOU IS BUILT ENTIRELY ON INFINITE, FAKE MONEY THAT WE CAN MAKE AS MUCH OF AS WE WANT.

Elsewhere, Jane’s megacorp and stocks are mentioned.

One wonders why, given the machinery to manufacture just about anything by means of alchemizer, the forms of money, stocks, and corporations are retained... what sort of productive and reproductive labour is regulated and mediated by these markets? Or are they merely acting out the vestigial forms of capitalism as a bizarre drama...

As for the consequences of an infinite money supply, let’s not get into the ‘modern monetary theory’ debate on a Homestuck post, maybe.

on to chapter 6+

This is a Jane chapter. It opens almost immediately with economic discussion; Dave apparently once accused Jane of ‘neoliberal corporate welfare’ for trying to bolster the ‘struggling locksmith industry’ rendered unnecessary on a planet without crime.

She’s visiting Jake, who’s probably my least favourite Homestuck character (who’s not an alpha troll). About Dirk... Jake (Jane says) seems to still have a bit of a thing for him, and Jane, meanwhile, still “has no idea why she can’t get [Jake] out of her system, even after all these years.”

The reason Jane cancelled her run was, it turns out, because Dirk said ‘cancel everything’. She gets drunk, very quickly... and hits on Jake, who is completely oblivious to her advances. She speaks of wanting to abandon business to raise a family, which Jake himself notes is something rather new for her (though the whole traditional gender thing she does isn’t lol)

Jake/Jane isn’t a ship I have any sort of opinion about, honestly. Dirk/Jake’s terrible collapsing relationship was kind of interesting but yeah, here’s a thing. What even are heterosexuals though? “I want to clean your giant house and have a lot of children”... incomprehensible!

One thing I will give credit for is the narration: it creates pretty strong images of like, these characters as fully embodied people, being intimate in like, subtle physical ways. that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense... whatever lol. it works

chapter 7

...brings us back to Gamzee. fittingly, i’m listening to the friendsim soundtrack as i read this, and i just hit ‘take me to clown church’.

anyway since this whole story basically seems to be an exercise in developing ships along the lines of ‘A is into B, B is obvious to their advances’... Roxy’s hot for John now I guess? or at least, so Callie thinks. she insists they’re all going to be ‘very, very happy’ despite her disappointment.

anyway, then we get Gamzee saying a bunch of casually misogynist stuff to John about Roxy. in this context, basically two interpretations are shown: a shallow ‘oh he’s redeemed now’ attitude from Roxy and Callie, and a ‘oh god i hate this person keep him away from me’ attitude from John. Gamzee’s repulsive qualities are underlined by the narration (from John’s perspective): he’s unhygienic, he’s casually misogynist (which seems like a new element, and rather out of keeping with the gendered-but-somehow-theoretically-not-patriarchal Alternia)...

chapter 8

Rose and Kanaya chapter. Jane’s possible presidency is once again the subject of discussion. Jane apparently wanted to apply some kind of anti-troll eugenics policy, and tried to bring Kanaya on board - and got told to fuck off for it. Our two good lesbians agree that, if Karkat were president (and Dave running the economy), things might have worked out ok...

We are briefly introduced to a new character, a jadeblood troll called Swifer Eggmop. Her character archetype, we are directly told, is ‘1920s newsboy’.

We bear witness to an egg hatching (in prose, anyway). This particular baby grub out closely resembling Vriska... which Kanaya says is because she comes from a slurry based on the original 12 trolls. Rose notes this would make Vriska the troll’s Ancestor, which raises an interesting question of whether Ancestors still exist as a social concept on Earth C. Anyway, Kanaya wants to adopt baby Vriska, which can only be a fantastic idea...

KANAYA: There Are Two Things Of Which I Have No Doubt

KANAYA: That You And I Are Going To Be Happy For The Rest Of Our Lives

KANAYA: And That We Are Never Ever Going To See Vriska Again

I think we can safely assume that neither of those things are true. The emphasis on ‘happiness forever’, voiced by multiple characters, is interesting... also the turn towards reproduction.

I went to uni with people who have kids now. Heck I have friends who have a child (who they are trying to spare from gender)... but for most of my social circle, which is to say almost entirely 20-to-30-something trans women, even the idea of adopting is incomprehensible? It’s somehow weird to think of ‘wanting kids’ as the narrative of 20-something year olds...

Kanaya is right. Vriska is dead, and despite everything, she died a hero. Vriska was a complicated figure of contrasting extremes; her heroic actions were matched in scale only by her monstrous ones, and since no one had actually witnessed her end, it was impossible to say which side the pendulum swung and judged her death—Heroic or Just.

It would be a fitting memorial for her and Kanaya to raise a version of Vriska who would be given every chance to make good on her noble characteristics. A true, symbolic redemption arc. Something about the thought appeals to Rose’s taste for the dramatic flourish. It would be proof that this was all worth it in the end: the destruction of multiple universes, the death of Kanaya’s friends, the circuitous rites of suffering experienced by the nearly infinite splintered versions of every being to inhabit Paradox Space...  

Once again, the notion of a ‘redemption arc’ enters the narrative explicitly, directly echoing fandom discussion. Unlike Gamzee, this is studiously neutral on the Vriska Question: steering exactly between ‘Vriska did nothing wrong’, nor ‘Vriska is a monster’. Regardless... I think it’s probably safe to say that everyone’s prophecies are wrong and we haven’t seen the last of the ‘true’ Vriska.

chapter 9

More of Jade trying very hard to ship her friends, to the discomfort of everyone involved. Jade kisses Karkat, and Karkat explicitly names what she’s doing as sexual assault, a violation of boundaries and consent - Jade attempts to convince him that no, it was really Dave who kissed him!

This prompts a long monologue from Dave in which it’s obvious that he has put some thought into kissing Karkat. Point seems to be: they sure are into each other but Jade’s intervention is not at all welcome. At least I hope that’s the point. I would prefer not to see Jade vindicated by the narrative.

Anyway, other things of cultural note: grub spaghetti is apparently still eaten on Earth C. I always thought it was implied that ‘grubs’ in Troll food were like, actual troll babies, but maybe they’re just ordinary (for certain values thereof...) bugs bc I don’t think Kanaya would stand for that.

chapter 10

The ‘Jane running for president’ subplot has largely disappeared, because what we’re really here for is... shipping! This time, a John/Roxy chapter. I think they call it Roxygen or something? Terezi explains the ‘pair the spares’ logic of the ship (dequirkified):

TEREZI: Um, yeah John.

TEREZI: We are not idiots. We can all do the math on this.

TEREZI:  It’s not like you were going to fuck your human mom or human sister.

TEREZI: And you are “not a homosexual,” which takes Strider dick out of the equation.

TEREZI: And Kanaya is the only girl troll left, and she lesbian married one of the two remaining eligible human females.

TEREZI: Oh and Jake is a double threat. A human dad with a human dick!

TEREZI: So by a process of elimination, of *course* you were going to “fall in love” with Roxy.

Equation of ‘dick’ with ‘male’ there terezi but whatever... (god is this fic going to get into the question of what a ‘nook’ and a ‘bulge’ is...)

(lol i’m calling it a fic...)

Anyway, my position on this one is: Roxy/Calliope was a fine ship worth upholding, and I do not see any reason why anyone would be into John. Though I may be biased on that front.

Terezi also brings up the Calliope question. John is trepidatious on that front.

There’s an interesting line from Roxy here, when John tries to assure her she doesn’t have to wear makeup:

ROXY: john...

ROXY: do u ever think about like

ROXY: gender???

JOHN: ???

JOHN: uh. not really, i guess?

JOHN: but i don’t think girls should feel like they HAVE to wear makeup just because they’re girls.

ROXY: lol

ROXY: thats not what im getting at

JOHN: what do you mean then?

JOHN: are you, like...

ROXY: like what

This is where I’m conscious of the ‘trans character’ tag on this one.

They talk about adulthood, as a performance that they do not feel ‘ready’ for. At that point Dave shows up, clearly aflustered after Jade’s intervention:

DAVE: anyone can be a dude if they really want thats part of the beauty of living in this brand new world with none of the baggage our old world had like gender and sexuality and relationships only involving a very specific number of people

chapter 11

So yeah now to pick up the torch on Dave starting to understand he’s gay. here for this

DAVE: theres a metric fucking ton of shit about to come down on me because i dragged my heels on doing some serious self reflection

JOHN: is this just some more stuff about...

JOHN: being gay?

DAVE: maybe yeah

DAVE: ok definitely yeah

DAVE: its 110% about being gay

JOHN: i thought you’d already worked all that stuff out?

DAVE: turns out it takes a long time to figure out your sexuality after a childhood filled with repression and abuse

nice to see it named as such i guess

the dialogue in the last couple of chapters has been really good. i’m getting properly drawn into this, the characters feel extremely well-realised. threads which were long latent are finally being made explicit.

Dave is struggling with very abrupt self-realisation: he definitely has feelings for Karkat, he has complicated feelings for Jade, but the ‘simple’ solution of just entering a non-mono relationship both is not feeling ‘right’ to him. John isn’t really able to help... he’s gonna talk to Dirk.

This chapter does a lot, I really like it, but at the same time I’ve not got a tremendous amount to add to it.

chapter 12

in our latest chapter of ‘homestuck but they fuck now’, Jake and Jane did that - while up on various substances, including at least alcohol and the trickster lollipop. Jake is having second thoughts but when he tries to back out, Jane looks sad, so he decides to go for it. This can only end well.

Also damn I guess someone on the team thought ‘what would it be like to fuck while high on the trickster lollipop’ so uh, that’s a thing now.

chapter 13

Back to the Strider boys. There’s a heavy intro...

Dave and Dirk don’t talk that much about the heavy stuff. They don’t need to. Dave can hear his brother’s voice in his head.

Not, like, literally. That would be insane. But Dave knows what his bro is like. Dirk, or a version of him, instilled in Dave a way of living and thinking that would, for better or worse, persist far beyond the first thirteen years of his upbringing.

Yeah huh.

Can’t believe Rose and Kanaya have the dubious honour of being the most ‘together’ characters in this.

Anyway in this case Dave still feels like he needs to talk to Dirk - who we know has gone awol, for some mysterious reason. He meets... Gamzee, who says some religious clown stuff, and offers Dave a redemption arc (really running this joke into the ground huh), but Dave brushes him off. Then he finds a fembot that Dirk was working on, with a note.

We don’t get to read the note yet. I would guess that’s the end of epilogue 2.

Sure enough it is.

Epilogue 2, taken as a whole

I quite enjoyed this, Gamzee sections notwithstanding. The prose is tight, the dialogue is hitting its flow, and a lot of relationships that were left vague in Homestuck proper are finally being given time to develop.

Obviously it’s kind of risky bringing in explicitly sexual themes, but I think they approach them in the ‘right’ way: focusing on the emotional meaning of relationships that now might - now we’re dealing with 23-year-olds - include sex, rather than just porn lol. It does slightly strain credibility that, in all their time on Earth C, none of them have made any meaningful friendships or relationships outside the core group of 8 kids and a handful of surviving trolls, but I can also understand the desire to focus on the already-developed characters. That’s a common problem for ‘endgame’ ships: in truth dating exclusively within a tiny friendship group is probably a recipe for disaster, but in fiction it makes a work manageable.

I am enjoying just how gay Homestuck has gotten. If Homestuck is the comic for Very Online kids who were around 13 in 2009 when the comic began, it’s somewhat fitting, because our cohort has, at least to a degree, done the same thing lol. Of course, that’s shaped by my personal experience of like, transitioning and moving to a friendship group that’s like 99% trans lesbians and bi women, but I suspect statistics would bear out the idea that more and more people are comfortable identifying ourselves as not-straight in some way. I could be wrong about that though lol.

Of course, it’s too much to hope that this trend - insofar as it exists! - is like, the beginning of the end for Gender as a system of social relations, violent exploitation and coercion - especially since periods of ‘more acceptance’ often seem to precede violent repression (c.f. Weimar Germany and then, the nazis; the period just before the AIDS crisis; much earlier, the construction of colonial/modern gender in the first place on the bones of less rigid gender systems...)

Anyway, let’s see what’s happened to old Dirk. I’m still wondering who the “trans character” is going to be, and how they’re going to handle that. It’s going to be tough to match fic like @rememberwhenyoutried‘s An Earth-Shattering Confession, but we shall see.

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 7: Literary Device Kingdoms

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: roooooooose TG: rose TG: rose TG: are you there

TT: Yes, Dave, I am here. TT: And it seems like you have adapted John’s penchant for using eight letters at a time for emphasis on various words.

TG: what really TG: goddamn it

TT: Yes, this appears to be a despicable habit that we must rid you of.

TG: please do TG: i dont want a total of eight letters exactly all the time to haunt me for the rest of my life TG: but that isnt what i came here to talk about

TT: Did you perhaps pester me to inform me of your previous conversation with Karkat?

TG: hell yeah i did

TT: I only assumed because that is what you were bugging me about previously.

TG: that is a pretty good assumption to make TG: anyway the conversation i had with karkat was really nice TG: hes a lot shoutier over text than voice TG: he types in all caps like holy shit TG: so angry TG: does some long ass metaphors TG: im still the best at them but karkat may be shooting for my place on the throne TG: make a note to watch out for that

TT: It has been noted.

TG: thank you for that rose TG: best goddamned advisor i ever had TG: i trust you completely TG: wow i sound like one of those kings that trust their shitty and evil advisor without a single thought that their advisor could potentially want to overthrow them TG: are you going to take over my kingdom rose

TT: I have no interest in ruling the Kingdom of Metaphors. TT: I am perfectly happy here in my “Palace of Prose.”

TG: thank fucking god TG: i dont think i could handle a rebellion TG: shits dangerous you know TG: do each of us get a literary device kingdom TG: if i have the kingdom of metaphors and you get the palace of prose TG: which is an awesome name btw TG: like is john the king of hyperbole TG: or jade the queen of personification TG: do they get kingdoms TG: are they opposing kingdoms TG: or are they all good friends and shit TG: does every single literary device get a kingdom or is only major ones TG: these are important questions here rose

TT: I’m not sure if John would be suited to the role of ruling over the hyperbole commonwealth. TT: I’m certain he would need to have some sort of training first. TT: He would need to become the heir to the kingdom. TT: Or he should rule over some other literary device.

TG: that makes me wonder what literary device he would rule over TG: hold up let me pull up a list TG: holy shit there are a lot of literary devices TG: i dont know what half this stuff is TG: shit ton of different types of irony TG: what the fuck is a zeugma

TT: A zeugma is a literary device that is both literal and metaphorical. TT: For example, “they covered themselves in dust and glory.”

TG: thats actually pretty cool

TT: Quite.

TG: what were we even talking about before all this literary device nonsense.

TT: I believe you were talking about the conversation you shared with Karkat.

TG: oh yeah TG: but yeah hes super long winded and his metaphors are actual works of art TG: he was actually the guy who wrote the top quality hate mail i received

TT: Really?

TG: yeah really isnt that fucking fantastic TG: you wouldnt have expected it if you were just talking to him in real life TG: but over messaging holy shit TG: absolutely glorious TG: he should really do something with that talent TG: write a fucking novel or some shit

TT: I would never have expected Karkat to be so…

TG: angry TG: long winded TG: creative with his words

TT: Yes. TT: He always seems so nice and professional. TT: Then again, I’ve only ever seen him at work, so I suppose I don’t exactly have the most accurate idea of what his personality is actually like.

TG: you also just spend your time flirting with kanaya

TT: The flirting is consensual.

TG: what are you two dating now

TT: Yes, actually.

TG: holy shit TG: did you go on a date TG: is that why you couldnt respond to my message TG: i need a brief overview of what happened stat

TT: Nothing much, really. TT: All we did was go out to lunch and walk around the park for a little while. TT: It was nice.

TG: that sounds like a fantastic date TG: very casual like a first date should be

TT: Agreed.

TG: anyway how are you doing TG: done anything interesting lately TG: something other than writing your book TG: which one are you on anyway TG: like the fifth or something or other TG: you just have a large fucking amount of books that you have written TG: and you go into these modes where you dont talk to anyone unless its the cashier at the grocery store

TT: I require food to survive, Dave. TT: But, yes, I have done something interesting lately. TT: Instead of writing a book, I opted for reading something.

TG: what really TG: what are you reading TG: actually i dont think i want to know TG: knowing you its probably something weird with a shit ton of monsters and stuff TG: not really something im interested in

TT: It's actually a novel that Kanaya recommended to me. TT: It's very interesting.

TG: well i guess if its not about monsters eating each other or a huge ass monster talking above a whisper that murders everyone its fine TG: lay it on me

TT: It's actually a series of books. TT: I'm only on the first one so far, but it holds a certain amount of charm to it.

TG: well youre going to have to do more than just tell me that the book has a certain kind of charm TG: you might want to actually tell me about the book

TT: Well, it's about a young girl who is being sent to finishing school by her family in order to become a lady. TT: However, the finishing school she is being sent to is not a normal finishing school. TT: It teaches a finishing of a different kind. TT: That is to say, it teaches young ladies to assassinate people as well as gather information.

TG: holy shit TG: that was not the direction i was expecting that to go

TT: I would recommend the book series to you. TT: You often like stories with a steampunk theme to them, and Kanaya stated that Etiquette and Espionage is a must read book for all those who love the steampunk genre.

TG: i do have to say TG: i am a little bit interested in reading the book TG: i might just go to the bookstore and buy it

TT: I knew you would be curious about it.

TG: yeah well im interested because you said there was a steampunk theme to it TG: but why were you interested in it TG: you typically go for the lovecraftian horror stories TG: god those are so fucking creepy TG: i have no earthly clue why you enjoy reading them so much TG: i personally cant stand reading those TG: ignore my tangent and answer my question instead

TT: I don't know, Dave. TT: Your tangents are awfully fun to analyze.

TG: goddamn it rose TG: youre an author not a fucking therapist TG: regardless of what your chumhandle says TG: anyway i know kanaya recommended it to you but what actually made you interested in the book

TT: I have always had a certain interest in fashion and such, particularly Victorian fashion. TT: I also enjoy the humor in the novel. TT: It is very deadpan, and it is enjoyable to read that someone wants to murder their first husband in a casual tone. TT: Don't worry though, Dave. TT: The only murder that occurs is in the last book, and the deaths are of minor characters. TT: Kanaya assured me this was such. TT: However, she did mention that there were some graphic descriptions of violence, particularly in the ending part of the last book. TT: If you don't feel comfortable with that, you don't have to read the novels.

TG: nah TG: i think i should be more or less ok TG: if i feel like i cant handle reading some part of it i can always go to you or kanaya to find out what actually happened in that part TG: but of course you read it because of people possibly murdering their future husbands TG: do you know why kanaya really liked the series

TT: Apparently, she has an interest in vampires and rainbow drinkers. TT: So there is a supernatural aspect to the book.

TG: so are there werewolves and shit as well

TT: Yes, there are.

TG: sweet TG: i probably need to get out of the house anyway TG: it will give me an excuse to stretch my legs and such

TT: Do you really require an excuse to do that?

TG: yes

TT: Well, don’t let me stop you.

TG: alright TG: ill be taking my leave

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacletherapist [TT] --

Now, before you leave to go to the bookstore, you needed to do one more thing.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: i have a very important question for you

EB: lay it on me.

TG: what literary device kingdom would you rule

EB: that’s a really weird question, dave. EB: i think you might have to elaborate a little.

TG: so rose and i were talking TG: and we decided that I was the king of metaphors TG: we later decided that she was the queen of prose TG: which of course begged the question TG: what the fuck would you be

EB: i don’t think i want to rule an imaginary literary device kingdom! EB: it seems like a lot of responsibility.

TG: of course its a lot of goddamned responsibility TG: youre ruling a kingdom here TG: a hypothetical kingdom sure TG: but a kingdom nonetheless TG: youve got to take care of all the little people residing in your kingdom TG: but youre basically supposed to chose the literary device that you utilize the most often

EB: i can’t recall using many literary devices! EB: i think i would probably end up being the subject of one of the kingdoms.

TG: thats fair

EB: what about jade? EB: have you asked her?

TG: no but she probably rules over personification or something like that TG: you were more of a mystery

EB: i guess i’m just going to have to think about it.

TG: ill just be waiting over here for you answer TG: because this lack of information is clearly what is keeping me up at night TG: well i wont be actually waiting TG: that would just be creepy as fuck TG: ill just occasionally check pesterchum to see if you have come up with an answer yet TG: be sure to pester me when you do alright

EB: i’ll be sure to do that, dave.

TG: thanks bro TG: anyway im going to the bookstore to get a book rose recommended TG: for once it was not about horrorterrers TG: see ya later john

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Your curiosity had yet to be sated. You were still curious as to what literary device kingdom John would rule. This was of course purely hypothetical, but it was still something very important that you needed to know as soon as possible.

Anyway, you decided that now would be a good time as any to make your way to the bookstore. Since it was literally right down the street, you didn't actually bother going into your car and driving there. That would be pointless and stupid because then you would have to find a parking space and pay for parking and that was entirely too much work to go get a book from a bookstore that was so close to your house.

When you got to the bookstore, you started out be looking around to see if you could find the book anywhere. It occurs to you that Rose never actually told you who the author was. She only told you the name of the book, which was fine, but it would have been very helpful to actually obtain the name of the person who wrote it as well.

You also didn't know all that much about the book save for a few basic things.And like hell are you actually going to ask someone for assistance to find the book. However, Rose did give you the title of the book, which is occasionally good enough.

As you wandered through the store, you ended up being surprised at a familiar face.

Oh god. It was Karkat. And yeah, the two of you talked pretty casually over Pesterchum and Trollian respectively, but you don't really think you could handle an actual interaction with him in person again. It was too soon, and you hadn't exactly had the time to recover from the previous in person interaction you had with him.

Oh no. He just saw you.

"Oh. Dave." Karkat greeted. "This is certainly a surprise."

"Oh, yeah, hi. I mean, hello. Yo? Actually, nevermind. I guess I really did mean hi. So, hi there Karkat. How have you been doing? The store treating you well? Asshole customers not keeping you up at night are they? And, wow, you are still cute. And I'm still rambling on like I'm not able to breathe if I don't talk. Not that I can't breathe if I don't talk, but with the amount of shit coming out of my mouth, I really wouldn't be surprised at this point.Sorry, I'm not very good at talking to people in real life."

"You're not very good at talking to them over text. Whatever delusion you created to make yourself think that you are anything less than a huge fucking dork is completely and utterly false, and at this point in time, you really just should accept that you aren't that good at the social aspect of life." Karkat said.

"Karkat, I'm hurt. You of all people should know how cool of a person I am."

Karkat looked around bewildered for a moment.

"A cool person? I don't see anyone like that. All I see is some dork who wears shades indoors to look cool."

"Harsh, but I do actually wear the shades inside for a legitimate reason. My eyes are super sensitive to light, so if I ever took them off, I'm pretty sure I would go blind."

"They seem like that would be extraordinarily uncomfortable to wear while sleeping. I hope to whatever god you believe in that you don't go blind if you remove them in total darkness."

"Yeah, it's fine if I take them off when there is a low amount of light, but I don't like taking them off that often. Not only do they look super cool and protect me from the evil sunlight, they were a gift from my best bro."

"So, sunlight is evil now?" Karkat asked.

"What? No. Sunlight isn't evil now. It has always been evil. It's just been watching over us like the fucking malevolent god it is."

"I don't think the sun can be considered a god. First of all, there are stars that are way bigger than our sun and a whole lot hotter as well. Second of all, the sun is probably going to die in a couple billion years, so we have that to look forward to."

"I can't wait until the evil that the sun is gets defeated."

"Well, it's not going to be in our short ass lifetimes. I can assure you of that."

"Damn it. And here I was, looking forward to the destruction of the sun."

"Well, I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. Unless someone makes a video or a video game where the sun blows up. I don't know." Karkat furrowed his brows. "Maybe then you can live out the fantasy of the sun blowing up? I mean, it would be better than nothing, right?"

"Fair enough. Anyway, what are you getting here at the bookstore?" You questioned.

"Well, I was trying to find a new book to read, but I can't really find anything that I haven't read yet that is in the genre I enjoy."

"You're looking for a romance book, right? Terezi said you liked romcoms and cheesy stuff like that, which is honestly kind of adorable, and please just forget I said that last part. It didn't exist. It was never said. Anyway, you clearly must read a lot to not be able to find something that you haven't read."

"I don't know what I should respond to in that sentence. It all sounded like a huge pile of feces that just won't stop coming out. Except the pile of feces is coming out of your mouth instead of your asshole."

"Maybe you should answer the part where I commented on the amount of reading you do because that is super impressive, and it isn't a creepy compliment like suddenly telling you that you are cute is." You explained.

"Ignoring the fact that you called me cute on multiple occasions, I thank you for your acknowledgment of my prowess in reading a various amount of novels."

"You're welcome. Anyway, if you are having trouble finding something to read, you could always try out a different genre, I guess. I mean, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of action books and stuff that you haven't had the pleasure of reading yet."

"I do still prefer romance novels." Karkat said. "What kind of books do you like to read? Or, I guess, more specifically, what book are you planning on getting here? Or are you just browsing?"

"Rose recommended a book series to me, but I am having a bit of trouble finding it. The first book is called Etiquette and Espionage. Have you heard of it?"

Karkat scoffed.

"Of course I've heard of it! I hear about every book with rainbow drinkers that my moirail can get her hands on! However, it was an amazing series with a properly done romance."

"There's romance in it?"

Karkat looked at you in silence for a few moments before taking a deep breath.

"Yes and a very well done romance at that. Scratch that. There are multiple romances throughout the books. Of course, you have the obligatory red romance triangle that the protagonist ends up getting herself in, but it was obvious from the beginning who she would end up with, speaking as one of her redrom interests she was, at the most, black for, even if there was a bit of red/black vacillating. However, the romantic interests are intriguing due to the sheer difference in blood color. You see, the main character is an olive blood and the two who are trying to court her are a rust blood and a seadweller respectively. Which, of course, puts her in the position of trying to choose between one far above and far below her station in society. She was already testing that, being an olive blood going to a highblood school. In addition, her redrom interests are black as hell for each other, often fighting, and it's done so subtly, and that particular romance was very interesting to read about, even if it was kind of a minor romance in the book. In addition to the redrom interests, she actually gets a moirail, and that romance is adorable as hell, and it is honestly so sweet. She also gets a blackrom interest that she never actually acts on due to that interest being someone she considers an actual enemy."

Karkat looked at you in astonishment for a moment.

"Wow. That was probably one of the first times someone has let me go on for that long about romance without telling me to shut the fuck up."

"Why the hell would I tell you to shut up?" You ask. "You're clearly passionate about it, so I see no reason to shoot down that enthusiasm."

"I, uh. Wow." Karkat just kind of stared at you, and you were beginning to start feeling pretty awkward.

So, of course, you did the only thing you could really actually do.

"Yeah, it would be really shitty of me to just fucking tell you to shut up about something you clearly enjoy talking about. Anyway, it is always super nice just to hear people talk about something they love, and it's just kind of sad when people are sorry for enjoying those sorts of things when really it shouldn't be embarrassing at all. If it's something you love, you should embrace it. It's kind of dumb that people just shoot you down like that, bro. Especially since it was really nice to see you light up like that, and oh my god, please just shut me up."

Karkat started laughing. This was the second time you had gone on a long-winded spiel that he laughed at. It was honestly pretty adorable.

"I guess you're right. Hey, you're having trouble finding Etiquette and Espionage, right? Maybe I could help you find it." Karkat suggested.

"That would be fucking fantastic. Please, show me the way to the elusive novel."

"Right this way."

You followed Karkat to an area you must have looked through ten thousand times, and he just pulled a book off the shelf and handed it to you.

"There you go."

"Holy shit. The cover is pink. Pink is such a nice color, you know? It's all happy and nice and shit, and I really should consider getting some pink into my wardrobe now that I think about it. What do you think, Karkat? Would pink fit my complexion well enough?"

"Probably. You wear red well enough, so you should be able to pull off pink really well."

"Really? Well, maybe you could go out with me to help me pick something out. Usually, I would go with my sister, but she's not very good at picking things out that I actually like, and she doesn't typically like the things that I pick out. Also, it's kind of difficult to shop for yourself, you know? Who knows? Maybe I could help you pick out something new as well. It's always nice to find things that you wouldn't usually pick out for yourself, but then you find out you really enjoy it, you know?"

"That's an odd request, but I don't really see why not."

"So you don't mind helping me out with finding a fun outfit?"

"Not at all. It would probably be fun, especially if we are helping out one another."

"Great. You can bring a friend if you want. You know, if you're uncomfortable with hanging out with me for alone for an extended period of time. It's perfectly fine." You said.

"I think I'll actually take you up on that offer. I have a friend who has been pestering me about getting a new outfit for a potential date he's going to have, and it would be fantastic if I had some extra help.He's a complete mess, and I don't know if he can tell his shoes from his cape."

"Clearly he's a fashion disaster, and we're going to have to fix it. However, I'm warning you now, I am also a fashion disaster."

Karkat looked you up and down, and your throat felt dry.

"I think I can deal with you. You're not nearly as much of a fashion disaster as you may think you are."

"Thanks for the confidence booster. Anyway, when and where do you want to meet for the shopping spree? Unless you want to go over the details over Pesterchum."

"We're already here and planning it. Might as well do it now. I'm free this Saturday. So, maybe we could meet up at noon at some restaurant for lunch and then go to the mall to shop for clothes."

"That sounds fucking fantastic. What restaurant though?"

"I could probably find some place nearby the mall to go to that isn't complete fucking shit. I'll have to ask my friend to see if he's good with that time. He probably will be though. He is almost always free. But, on the off chance that he is not, I can always message you over Trollian, but I’ll have to do that anyway to tell you the exact location and time to meet up.”

"It sounds like a plan." You stated. "Anyway, I'm going to pay for this book, and I'm hopefully going to read it at some point in time instead of just allowing it to rest upon my shelf for the rest of eternity. Mark my works. It will be read."

"Good luck with that." Karkat laughed. "But seriously, I do hope you manage to finish it. It will give us something to talk about on the outing."

"I thought we were going to talk about what kind of clothes we want to try out."

"That's actually a pretty good idea. Just let me jot that down." Karkat pretended to write something down on an imaginary notepad. "There we go. If you have any other ideas, be sure to submit them to my website so that I can fully analyze the shit out of them."

"Will do." You suddenly remembered something very important. "Also, I just remembered I need to ask you what literary device kingdom you would rule."

Karkat looked at you like you had just eaten a lemon whole, rind and all.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?"

"An important one. Come on, please answer it. I don't actually have all day, like some may believe."

"Dave, we just spend a good half hour to an hour standing here and talking to each other."

"Shit, really? Never would have guessed that much time had passed. I still would like an answer though."

"I'll think about it. I'll even message you so you can sate your burning curiosity as soon as I figure it out."

"I'll hold you to that." You said, and you finger-gunned at him. "Anyway, I should be off and actually buying this book and possibly reading it at some point in the hopefully near future."

"You do that." Karkat said.

You left kind of awkwardly. And by that, you meant you totally left in the coolest way possible. Yes. Definitely. Didn't even trip or anything. Okay. So maybe you stumbled a bit, but it's whatever, right? You were still kind of cool, and your dignity was definitely left intact.

You go up to the counter and buy your book and then make your way home. You check Pesterchum to see if John has given you an answer yet. None. Absolutely none. What blasphemy. Well, you can always pester someone else about it.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade i have a very important question for you to answer TG: it is imperative that you answer this message as soon as possible TG: shits super important TG: like the world will be destroyed by a whole bunch of meteors if you dont answer this question TG: it will be fucking catastrophic for everyone involved TG: and everyone involved will just be everyone in the world TG: possibly the universe too who really knows

GG: dave

TG: what

GG: just ask me the question already!!!!

TG: oh yeah right TG: okay ill lay it on you TG: if you were the ruler of a theoretical literary device kingdom, what literary device would you be the ruler of

GG: that question is super weird :/ GG: but i guess i would rule personification??? GG: i havent really thought about it really GG: its kind of super oddly specific too

TG: maybe a little bit TG: but i knew you would rule over personification TG: john is still trying to decide what literary device kingdom he would rule over

GG: oh! GG: maybe he could rule over the hero kingdom!!

TG: is hero a literary device

GG: i think it might be more of a character arc than a literary device but this sight seems to count it as one

TG: ok i guess thats fair

GG: im going to keep looking through these literary devices GG: some of them are kind of funny!! GG: like this one called non sequitur

TG: what the fuck is that

GG: according to the site its a statement that doesnt really make any sense or have any sound logic GG: like saying that if all humans have bones and crocodiles have bones GG: then crocodiles must be humans

TG: what the fuck is that logic

GG: its called non sequitur for a reason!

TG: sounds like something you would find straight off of tumblr TG: hot off the press and ready to consume

GG: that metaphor didnt really make any sort of sense dave

TG: when do my metaphors ever make sense jade

GG: … GG: :/

TG: exactly

GG: i found a literary device that might fit john!

TG: what is it

GG: its called a parrhesia GG: which is basically a fancy way of saying freedom of speech GG: like saying what you mean and stuff like that

TG: sounds perfect TG: i will be sure to inform john of this development TG: pester me if you need anything alright

GG: ok! GG: :)

TG: … TG: 8)

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: okay so i found out what kingdom you would rule over

-- ectoBiologist [EB] is an idle chum! --

TG: alright so you arent here TG: whatever TG: ill tell you anyway TG: you would rule over the parthinian kingdom TG: that was not the correct kingdom TG: that was just a jumble of words that didn’t even make any sort of sense TG: they just happened to start with a p TG: okay just give me a second to double check what it was called TG: parrhesia TG: that still sounds like a jumble of words but i swear its an actual real word TG: it means like freedom of speech or whatever TG: boldness of speech TG: i just realized that all you guys have a literary device that begins with a p TG: prose personification parrhesia TG: and im just sitting over here on my throne of metaphors TG: … TG: super fucking weird TG: anyway TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

You weren’t really sure whether or not to tell someone about seeing Karkat at the bookstore. You were kind of tired, and you were all peopled out for the day, so you just decided to go to sleep instead.

You can’t wait for Saturday.

[wheres-mulder]

mulder constantly calls scully the most beautiful woman alive, to which she always rolls her eyes and giggles and is like 'ok mulder' but then one day he stops and looks at her like shes crazy and goes 'scully when i say ur the most beautiful woman alive im serious, like no hyperbole, like im not kidding. i know thats a daunting reality to face, and honestly i dont know how you dont pass out from just looking in the mirror but im not kidding. ur beautiful.' and then passionate sex ensues.

I agree w Mulder 

[vitalmindandbody]

Donald Trump to Dr Oz: I appear ‘as good today as I did at 30 ‘

Trumps health report exhausted on Thursday was based on an quiz from last week and the 70 -year-old lauds ability to endure the presidential campaign

On the day Donald Trump told Tv host Dr Oz he seems as good today as I did at 30, the 70 -year-old Republican presidential nominee liberated the most detailed assessment yet of his physical condition.

The Trump campaign utilized the exhaust to take a swipe at Hillary Clinton, lauding the billionaires ability to endure uninterrupted the rigours of a punishing and extraordinary presidential campaign.

Clinton temporarily withdrew from the campaign trail after stumbling as she left a 9/11 memorial service in New York City on Sunday. Her safarus subsequently said she had pneumonia.

In a taped interrogation with Dr Oz scheduled to be aired later on Thursday, Trump admitted that at 236 lb he is overweight, but said he had bolstered his physical surrounding by committing address on the campaign trail.

Its a lot of work, he said. You know, when Im speaking in front of 15, 20,000 people and Im up there employing a lot of flow, I approximate in its own behavior its a fairly health routine.

A lot of hours these chambers are really hot, like saunas, and I guess thats a word of usage.

Trump also plays golf.

Before Trumps interview with Dr Oz, his safarus exhausted a statement from Dr Harold Bornstein, the same physician who in December was indicated in a shorter greenback he had been able to government unequivocally,[ Trump] will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency. Bornstein afterward declared the note had been rushed while a limo from the campaign awaited outside his office.

On Thursday, the Guardian reported that according to courtroom articles, in April 2002 Bornstein agreed to pay $86,250 to the family of a patient, Janet Levin, who allegedly croaked after falling when she took unhealthy sums of prescription drugs Bornstein had given her. Before adjudicate, Bornstein denied all the allegations against him.

The report on Trumps health released on Thursday was based on an examination conducted on Friday 9 September. It was less hyperbolic than Bornsteins first observe, but still glowing.

Mr Trump is in superb physical health, Bornstein wrote, adding that Trumps liver and thyroid roles were within the normal range, and that a cardiac evaluation was ordinary. Trump takes medication to lower cholesterol

Trumps testosterone was rolled at 441.6.

He doesnt have exceptionally high testosterone nor does he have remarkably low-pitched testosterone, said Dr Abraham Morgentaler, columnist of the book Testosterone for Life, adding that 450 or so is an average testosterone degree in adult mortals.

Trumps most recent colonoscopy was conducted on 10 July 2013, Bornstein said. It disclosed no polyps.

On the Dr Oz Show, Trump said that when he seems in the mirror he does not examine a 70 -year-old man.

I would say I accompany a person thats 35 years old, he said.

The campaign did not release any ophthalmic results.

Trump told Oz he sometimes plays golf with the 39 -year-old New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I detect Im the same age as him. Its crazy, Trump said.

Clips released in advance of the proves broadcast saw Oz noting further that Trump would be the oldest being ever to be elected president. Trump said that he was not that is something that older than one previous Republican president.

Just about the same age as Ronald Reagan, he said. And Hillarys a year behind me. I actually feel as good today as I did at 30.

Ronald Reagan was 69 where reference is became chairman, in 1981. Hillary Clinton will turn 69 on 26 October.

The notes from Trumps physical state that he is is 6ft 3in and 236 lb, dedicating him a torso mass index of 29.5, which is considered overweight. The entrepreneur, who is known for gobbling McDonalds, KFC and on at least one occasion a taco bowl, told Oz he would like to lose 15 lb.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Donald Trump to Dr Oz: I appear ‘as good today as I did at 30 ‘ appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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[isaacathom]

also Duke Andy probably isn’t a great person, but he’s on the side of the greater population so noone’s really bothered. like, he’s not Erick, it what im saying. Erick was a man who didnt know badness if it shot him in the head, yknow. and it sorta did, so, yknow, Erick was ridiculously naive and overflowing with good vibes and happiness that most people only disliked him because a) they thought it was a front (it wasnt) and b) because his naivety made him a bad leader (absolutely and totally valid)

Andrew is far more likely to be skeptical. suspicious, extremely so, probably dislikes Adelaide’s throne on principle alone and then even more the further it gets and the more he scrutinises her actions. he’s not greedy, no, any motivation he has for removing Adelaide is either for Erick’s sake, bless his heart, or for the sake of the country. he’s not doing it to take the throne for himself, though he probably volunteered to act as Regent while Jackson grew up. but, again, he’s not doing it to take the throne for himself or to place his children on the throne. if anything, he’d be incredibly sad if the situation resolved to have him on the throne, given that he loved his brother and loves his brothers children, and to have it be that its him and his kids that must take the throne would probably break ol Andy’s bitter lil heart.

he doesnt really want it, but if he had to, he would (or make one of his kids take it, since like... idk how old his kids are, or even how old Andrew is, but his oldest kid is probably like.... 20? they could do it if they wanted. he’d make sure they were alright with that idea before ever abdicating in their favour). \

like. his public support for Jackson is because he doesn’t like Adelaide’s ruling. especially because he finds Adelaide dishonest as fuck. afterall, the whole idea was that she took the throne until Jackson was old enough. Andrew probably sees Jack like.... 5 times a year? he can get a decent read. Jack is mature. he’s 24. give him the fucking throne, Adelaide. she was sworn to the throne with the intent to abdicate for Jackson later, to essentially act as Regent but more official, to ensure stability in the bad shit that was happening. because she has basically refused to abdicate, Andrew probably sees it as her having Lied to obtain the throne.

Andrew won’t take that shit. his support for Jackson is on principle alone. Adelaide has lied, she will not answer questions regarding her presumably imminent abdication, officials say nothing has happened re: it. She has lied to obtain the throne, and Andrew will not have a liar on the throne. esp since Adelaide’s actions sorta tarnish the good reputation of her husband. Erick might have been stupidly naive, or too trusting for his own good, but he was a good man, and Andrew’s view is that his Precious Political Wife is not of his sort. Andrew doesn’t like Adelaide. he probably never did, but again, that probably started as a matter of principle. a political marriage? are you daft??? he saw it as stupid. probably criticised his brother for accepting that deal, another one of his dear brothers failings due to his trusting and hopeful nature. so he had to dislike Adelaide on principle, she was not married by love, there is absolutely no guarantees of her character beyond the overflowing hyperbolic praise of her kin. so before Andrew ever met her, he disliked her, on that principle, right.

then of course he probably didnt mind Adelaide? she was good at handling politics, she had a good mind, she was supporting of her husband and helped him when he had troubles, and was a good counterbalance to her husbands near blind trust, with her more sceptical nature. of course, she then took the throne, which Andrew probably already disliked because he felt that the throne should either remain within the bloodline or with parliament, and her being given the position, while it made sense, was also probably a stupid move. the 7 years that followed, in which Adelaide raised hell with their neighbours over Erick’s death only cemented Andrew’s dislike. like, ya, he probably felt some sort of catharsis from this brutal campaign, since, yknow, Erick was his fucking brother, right. BUT, he also has to step back objectively and go ‘thats fucking stupid and petty’, and then, of course, she won’t give the throne to Jack.

like, hooooneessttttllyyy if she hadn’t taken the throne Andrew would only dislike her on that principle, and only for the short time until he was able to meet her and determine for himself whether she was ‘a good person’ or not. Andrew is a pretty critical guy, all in all, which is probably partly because of a need to balance his brothers optimism, and probably just because he’s an individual human being. like, both Adelaide and Andrew are pretty critical people. howeeeeveeerrr, the key difference is that Adelaide always looks for the worst, which is why she was a good counterpart to Erick, because his ignorance of the worst and her ignorance of the best balanced out in most cases, right. but Andrew, he’s more.... neutral leaning worst. he can change his mind, is the thing. Adelaide doesn’t change her mind. the only reason Erick would win out in any discussion they had is because Erick, ultimately, has the power to make the choice. its just that Erick, being Erick, is far more likely to listen to her concerns than she to his. she won because he was willing to concede and she was not. she’s a woman of absolutes, that Adelaide.

this got really long but TL;DR Andrew is incredibly critical, especially of Adelaide, because he feels that Adelaide lied in order to obtain absolute control of the throne. He supports Jackson on that principle. he’s mostly an alright dude, though. like if he has a thought he will announce it, you cant shush this man, but he is capable of self reflection and admittance of wrong doing. Adelaide is critical but with a steadfastness of self that she will not back down from her views. The only people who can get her to change her mind are the Parliament (and then only because a refusal to agree due to principle will result in a forced abdication and she knows it) and Hazel.

[vitalmindandbody]

Donald Trump to Dr Oz: I experience ‘as good today as I did at 30 ‘

Trumps health report liberated on Thursday was based on an quiz from last week and the 70 -year-old lauds ability to endure the presidential campaign

On the day Donald Trump told TV emcee Dr Oz he experiences as good today as I did at 30, the 70 -year-old Republican presidential campaigner secreted the most detailed assessment hitherto of his physical condition.

The Trump campaign use the exhaust to take a swipe at Hillary Clinton, lauding the billionaires ability to endure uninterrupted the rigours of a penalise and unprecedented presidential campaign.

Clinton temporarily moved from the campaign trail after stumbling as she left a 9/11 memorial service in New York City on Sunday. Her expedition subsequently said she had pneumonia.

In a taped interrogation with Dr Oz scheduled to be aired later on Thursday, Trump admitted that at 236 lb he is overweight, but said he had bolstered his physical precondition by returning communications on the campaign trail.

Its a lot of work, he said. You know, when Im speaking in front of 15, 20,000 beings and Im up there using a lot of action, I guess in its own channel its a somewhat healthy behave.

A lot of eras these chambers are really hot, like saunas, and I guess thats a kind of exercise.

Trump also plays golf.

Before Trumps interview with Dr Oz, his safarus liberated a statement issued by Dr Harold Bornstein, the same physician who in December said in a shorter memorandum he could country unequivocally,[ Trump] will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency. Bornstein afterward acknowledged the document had been rushed while a limo from the campaign waited outside his office.

On Thursday, the Guardian reported that according to court papers, in April 2002 Bornstein agreed to pay $86,250 to the family of a patient, Janet Levin, who allegedly died after falling when she took undesirable quantities of prescription drugs Bornstein had given her. Before resolve, Bornstein disavowed all the allegations against him.

The report on Trumps health released on Thursday was based on an examination conducted on Friday 9 September. It was less hyperbolic than Bornsteins first document, but still glowing.

Mr Trump is in excellent physical health, Bornstein wrote, adding that Trumps liver and thyroid roles were within the normal range, and that a cardiac evaluation was ordinary. Trump takes medication to lower cholesterol

Trumps testosterone was rostered at 441.6.

He doesnt have exceptionally high testosterone nor does he have abnormally low-grade testosterone, said Dr Abraham Morgentaler, writer of the book Testosterone for Life, adding that 450 or so is an average testosterone rank in adult men.

Trumps most recent colonoscopy was conducted on 10 July 2013, Bornstein said. It discovered no polyps.

On the Dr Oz Show, Trump “re just saying that” when he appears in the reflect he does not appreciate a 70 -year-old man.

I would say I accompany a person thats 35 years old, he said.

The campaign did not release any ophthalmic results.

Trump told Oz he sometimes plays golf with the 39 -year-old New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I detect Im the same age as him. Its crazy, Trump said.

Clips released in advance of the reveals broadcast saw Oz noting further that Trump would be the oldest being ever to be elected president. Trump said that he was not that is something that older than one previous Republican president.

Just about the same age as Ronald Reagan, he said. And Hillarys a year behind me. I actually seem as good today as I did at 30.

Ronald Reagan was 69 when he became chairperson, in 1981. Hillary Clinton will turn 69 on 26 October.

The notes from Trumps physical state that he is is 6ft 3in and 236 lb, sacrificing him a form mass index of 29.5, which is considered overweight. The businessman, who is known for ingesting McDonalds, KFC and on at least one moment a taco container, told Oz he would like to lose 15 lb.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Donald Trump to Dr Oz: I experience ‘as good today as I did at 30 ‘ appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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