#like that could. literally happen.
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i maintain that there's no need to talk about ways in which israel is evil to its jewish citizens in order to talk about palestine. like it has nothing to do with it it's literally not what this is about. and i maintain that the ways in which people insist on doing this sometimes border on antisemitism. all that being said you don't know the half of it
#i hate this fucking country i hate it i hate it i hate itttttttt#tmi in the next tags >>>>>>>>>>#i have a very real fear that if i get pregnant rn the committee won't approve my abortion bc too many jews have died lately#like that could. literally happen.#and ik a lot of people are having irregular periods bc of stress but the added stress of this just creates an endless stress cycle lmao#mmmmmm anyway. let's hope i get my period 🪬#might delete later#periods cw#politics cw#not really but tagging anyway
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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first encounters
#im replaying the whole game once again🤓☝️#the fact that this scene is happening in a second#Leona thinking why does this herbivore have a funny smell#while yuu is just seriously asking herself if she could taking him on a fight#its funnier in my head cause they just 😠 but they are literally going to marry and have like three kids#my little ted talk 👍#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst fanart#leona twisted wonderland#leona twst#twst leona#leona kingscholar#leona x yuu#twisted wonderland yuu#yuu twisted wonderland#twst yuu#yuno yamine#reinbouxsart
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i really need everyone but especially anyone who romanced gale with a bard tav to know about this interaction from early access that larian took from us
#baldur's gate 3#gale dekarios#gale x tav#bg3#gale of waterdeep#oc: elenion silverdew#otp: you put the stars to shame#i'm putting this in my tags for gale and my tav because i need to remember it forever okay#literally as soon as i first met gale and he said he liked poetry i was like 'omg i wish a bard could say something about that'#and then months later i find out how to roll back the game to EA. and i play it.#and i find out BARDS *COULD* SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT#AND THEY TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME?!?!?#will never forgive larian for this actually#because this dialogue is literally so cute and i don't see any good reason for removing it#i still headcanon that gale and elenion bond over poetry and that this basically happens anyway though 💜
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POV you’ve informed the Queen and the Court’s Sorcerer of something and they very clearly know something that they’re not letting on
#hehe just a silly doodle#Gwen’s great at subtlety so would this even happen? debatable#just feel like they’d definitely get up to magical shenanigans post-canon#plus there were enough things in the show that could make a reappearance#Lady Vivian is visiting? Oh no is she still under the curse??? D: *cue mutual looks of alarm*#(it’s okay she’s not. justiceforvivian2024)#but anyway STILL they’d definitely go sneaking around in the vaults or library to find answers to the latest Situation tm#like yeah magic is legal and Guinevere is literally the queen#but that doesn’t stop them from shiftilly snooping!! shiftilly snooping just Happens when ur friends with Merlin#it’s like enrichment for them#ANYWAY yet again I have NO idea what proper anatomy is and I did not use a reference for Merlin and only glanced at one for Gwen so#sorry I cannot do u justice merlin + guinevere </3#my mom once glanced at one of my doodles when I was home and she was like why does Merlin look like a monkey#WHICH WAS KINDA OUT OF POCKET TBH 😭😭#but maybe one of these days I’ll actually learn drawing-related things so I can better spread my beloved post canon Merlin agenda#Merlin#Gwen#merlin fanart#bbc merlin#my art#art#merwen#EDIT: fixed up the colouring bc it was bothering meee rip
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Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.
#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family#after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay#like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad#Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin#He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce#He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom#The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole#Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3#Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less??#He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette#Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store#and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him#Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have#Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma#Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens#That’s the tragedy. The drama.#Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones#It was inevitable#Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne
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UNFUCKABLE
#GOOD MORNING#CANT EVEN GET FUCKED ON THE WE WANT TO FUCK KENDALL ROY WEBSITE HE IS LITERALLY THE JESTER OF HIS OWN COURT#truly the funniest thing to ever happen to him like this is worse than losing the company and he doesn’t even know its happened#kendall roy i wish you were real so you could see this#succession#m
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Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.
At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little
You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)
Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right
So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?
Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)
Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)
Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass
Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)
My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?
Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO
So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.
Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.
Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))
But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...
Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.
But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.
But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)
Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.
The only question is, how would Robin take that?
Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good
So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.
Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.
And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.
What's she going to do?
EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Nico Robin#THIS POST WAS AN ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WHY DID I WRITE THIS. WHAT DEMON POSSESSED ME#I'm sure someone's written this already right#Right#Surely this fanfic already exists#Please tell me it exists#I dunno what to tell you I am not immune to a Juicy AU#Anyway on a more wholesome side of things: Robin accidentally calling Crocodile ''dad'' and he just inhales and swallows his whole cigar#Nearly chockes to death. Gets burns on his throat.#Robin feeling less alienated because of her DF ability because Croc has seen weirder AND is made of sand himself#If anything if they're literally by themselves then Robin being able to literally lend a hand to Croc at any time could be extremely useful#Like. In regular life situations. 'Cause Croc only has one hand. And Robin as many as she wants. Perfect duo.#(Also if they were travelling on like a small ship then it'd probably be built for a Tall Motherfucker like Croc right)#(Robin's ability would just make the ship more accessible to her and Croc would find that independence good)#Robin still gets a codename because Croc can't have anyone realize who she is. Maybe she even wears like a mask or summin' in public#If Crocodile's openly trans and the news of him transitioning recently broke out. Like. No avoiding that convo eh#Baby Robin's like ''...I read in a book once that some reptiles can change sex but I didn't know crocodiles could do it too''#''💦.../Humans/ can't do that normally either''#''Hmmmm. Weird. I don't think being a girl would suit you though'' // ''...I'll take that as a compliment''#I just. I think they could have really cute interactions if they warmed up to each other after a little while#And I'm Extremely Normal about that
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the leverage team would have had a games night… once. everyone cheated so much and in such increasingly extreme ways that all mentions of monopoly are banned in their headquarters (this makes talking about marks who monopolize the market very confusing)
#leverage#nate wouldn’t cheat but he’d be by far the most annoying still. like he’d conduct a whole Scheme to win and give a little monologue wheneve#he made a good move and everyone would want to kill him#parker woukd obvs be stealing money & cards and she’d move their pieces and swap their stuff#but also she’d try to use her turn to rob the bank#sophie would use neurolinguistic programming and dominate the board w properties#which somehow parker would literally never land on and that’s incredibly suspicious but none of them really know how she could possibly be#manipulating that fact? it’s logically impossible bc they’re watching her roll the die and move the piece and sophie knows which properties#she owns so it makes no sense. but parker is parker and she simply will not be caught (even by sophie’s properties)#hardison has studied monopoly theory (yes there are math theories on how to play monopoly) and /tries/ to abide by them but again. sophie i#manipulating him and parker is stealing from him (and sometimes oddly enough *for* him. new money ends up in his bank somehow) so it’s hard#so eventually he resorts to cheating like Everyone Fucking Else and does pretty well bc he rlly does know what sets he wants etc.#eliot is genuinely playing normally. no cheating no math stuff no schemes.#but he’s just sitting there fuming the entire time bc they’re all very obviously messing with the game and he Knew this was gonna happen bu#goddamn hardison & parker especially know how to get on his nerves (often purposely)#he calms down by making some snacks and. resorting to also cheating lol.#leverageposting
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hi i'm unw el l
#ramble#he is truly the guy of all time#i can't wait to find out if his eyes are purple for a Reason or if he's just a special boy#the dichotomy of 'what could happen there's 37 more books'#and 'oh god there's 37 more books worth of stuff'#disclaimer i didn't know a LOT about canon forgotten realms but 3 pages in i was like#ah. that's why minthara is Like That#there's an essay in my head somewhere about how i'm never judging a drow character again because it's LITERAL CULT MENTALITY#tl;dr i love it. it's bonkers 90s fantasy and i am Here#imagine the ascension i felt when i opened the book and there was a MAP#thank god for the death of cringe bc i'm so much happier embracing that i'm a big fuckin nerd and not too cool for dnd novels#every time i start reading again after not having time i remember why if fuuucking LOVE BOOKS
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We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.
And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.
"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.
A child.
Now that's too big, surely.
But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.
And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.
In normal circumstances.
Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.
No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.
And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.
But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.
"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"
#like!!!!!! why arent we talking about this!!!!!!!#amelia pond#amy pond#the ultimate autism metaphor on top of being autistic anyway#doctor who#dw#ndw#dw theory#lavender thoughts#SHE CAN'T EXIST SHE IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE#you called clara the impossible girl but that's amy#and THEN the fact that even after it's all set right#she remains shaped by -- remains deeply traumatized by -- a timeline that never happened; a reality that never was#AUGH !!!!!#some wounds just can't heal even if the thing that caused them never existed in the first place#some wounds remain as a TRACE of the other time just as you yourself were once#THE mental illness rep of all time#and in the big bang of course the doctor had to take the shortcut because if they'd all gone the long way round#she'd have been gone before he got there#as starless universe's little amelia disappeared.... it could be millienia but from another perspective it HAD to be moments#they made it only in the nick of time#and the doctor knew that#pond#the life and times of amy pond#lavender writings
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"You said you love me exactly the way I am"
#theres a reason im this queer /j#silly stuff pls ignore#anyway little ramble time but. i think those two clowns have quite literally given me one of the best gifts i could ever ask for#and that is community#they've given me confort. a constant source of entertainment. friendship with some of the sweetest and most supportive people i ever could-#-have met. they've given me a chance to share one of the things that give me the most joy - my art - to people that are interested in seeing#it. and people like it! people enjoy seeing my stuff for even a second! and they share their stuff with me!!!#falling in love with the daycare attendant is one of the best things to ever happen to me and i will never shut up about it#because i have never seen this much love#and i hope the universe knows how much i love it back#im gonna be an emotional mess moots pls deal with me#anyway who let me be insane about them for [checks calendar] LIKE TWO FUCKING YEARS NOW#sunshine draws#dca fnaf#dca fandom#dca sun#dca moon#beloveds#doodles#self insert#a gift for myself
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neil probably asked or smth
#thoughts#andrew doesnt like to be squished#neil is better with casual touch and andrew needs to be able to leave without moving another person out of his way#thats why this constellation#i love them your honor#this is so out of character but at the same time so possible#i know this could happen#neil literally just has to ask#probably someone made a joke and neil was like yep drew will you do it#sigh#my babies#fanart#aftg#tfc art#tfc#the foxhole court#all for the game#all for the gay#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil
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You can talk about what you wished had happened, or what you think should’ve happened, but when it comes to what actually happened, Jason is not the prodigal son, Bruce did not slaughter a fatted calf for his return!
#Do you understand the metaphor I’m putting down? This right here is why there’s like 8000 Bruce & Jason fix it fics on ao3#people want the warm and fuzzies for these two and by god is canon not giving you that#Not to get all biblical about it. But being the prodigal son requires a warm welcoming when you return doesn’t it?#Jason Todd#Bruce Wayne#Dc#Though I guess you could consider the n52 return to the fray to be Jason’s prodigal son moment. Though I wouldn’t exactly call the wingman#suit the finest robes. Also that would imply confession and complete forgiveness neither of which have happened#I’m being too literal about the Bible metaphor I’ll stop now
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and it’s why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didn’t just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. He’s been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as they’ve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but it’s not his first time working with them. I think it’s just something important because this isn’t just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they could’ve been, since he hadn’t done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isn’t a crime and he’d be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didn’t give Jim the job this wouldn’t have happened is underplaying that they’ve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldn’t admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curly’s trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesn’t like him but doesn’t trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip it’s implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. he’s retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because he’s at his core an avoidant bully who can’t take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didn’t want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of it’s in the comments
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