#like references to stuff or use of phrases that aliens on the other side of the universe shouldn’t know?

[thecentrium]

I think the best part of the babbledrogs’ translation gas as a mechanic of the setting is that any weird dialogue bits that wouldn’t normally make sense with the worldbuilding can just be considered the translation contextualizing for an earthling point of view

[project-sekai-facts]

Hey, i wanted to say two things. The first one is, I adore your analysis so much. You definitely have so much knowledge about the project sekai lore than i would ever have. And secondly, do you believe if Craft egg is going to confirm any of the ships in the game? It would be really nice if it happens, but i highly doubt it.

First off, thank you!

Secondly, I don't really like talking about shipping because, y'know, but also free pass if I'm talking about canon stuff

it's really hard to say. Like, really. I'm assuming here that you mean confirm as in the characters dating within the story, and not as in characters having mutual feelings, because for that there's a different answer. Games in the sort of idol-rhythm genre tend to never actually establish romantic relationships and just keep teasing stuff, because money and I guess if you never confirm anything then you never alienate a portion of your fanbase.

Like look at bandori, which has CHU2 and PAREO who clearly have feelings for each other (iirc it's outright stated on one side at least?) and are seemingly dating although it's just. never actually confirmed. same with a few other characters. i know this happens in enstars as well but i only ever played it for a week so i can't name anything specific but do i need to you probably get what i'm on about.

though, there are games in the genre that don't do this, namely D4DJ. But D4DJ is sort of a black sheep in this genre because like. it's really queer, like actually queer. like they've got characters who are dating and outright stated to not like men and like another girl in the cast. which isn't something that's common. at all.

and all these examples from other games are queer, and of course, prsk is mixed-gender, i'm just using them as examples (and also all the couples in prsk most likely to ever be official are queer). prsk being mixed kinda simultaneously makes getting characters together easier and harder for them. because on the one hand, do i even need to explain why straight couples are easier to slap in a story? and on the other hand, gay ships are far more popular in the fandom, and are generally the ones that get more content in the game because of that, so pulling a fast one and suddenly making a random m/f couple canon would piss off a lot of the fanbase (i'm talking about vbs and mmj here before anyone says anything).

so really it comes down to whether the writers just carry on as they are, or do something unexpected. and like, maybe they will? i mean, there's airi and shizuku who are very obviously attracted to each other, minori and haruka who i don't think i need to explain, and then an & kohane, akito & toya and arata & souma who are all implied to be soulmates. so there is definitely already stuff there if they ever decide to do something. and if not, then there's stuff there still I guess.

oh yeah also An refers to the events of BFST as a date and the way the conversation is phrased heavily implies she means it romantically but she's the only person who calls it that and no one is actually implied to be in a romantic relationship outside that event (or even in it really) but there you go. oh and shizuku and airi go on a date within the story as well.

[creekfiend]

Just wanted to say thanks for "people from culturally Christian backgrounds" because that seems like a good way to phrase it, and I'm going to try to remember to use it when I'm talking about this sort of thing. (I try to not be a dick to people, when possible, and trauma's messy and complicated.) I'm sorry that some people are being horrible in this whole discussion, and I hope you are doing okay.

I'm doing fine! I really sympathize with most of the people involved in this tbh (except the outright antisemites of course lol) bc like I HAVE seen a lot of reactive and reductive and unkind blanket statements about this by some jumblr people in which they are condescendingly explaining other people's realities to them. Which is my LEAST favorite thing. Jumblr can also be really... umm, dog pile-y in a way that I find frustrating and unproductive. However. I think it's also fairly obvious that most of these reactions are trauma responses, and while that isn't an excuse it is an explanation and provides additional context that I do not feel is irrelevant. For jews we have constantly been told 'well simply stop being jewish' like all the time by everybody, often at gunpoint. So like, when I see nonjewish atheists assert that stuff jews are TELLING you they have gone through "literally never happens" that ALSO REALLY SUCKS. like so so bad. Cannot overstate how much that sucks. Cannot overstate how much it sucks to see ppl I sympathize with deeply wrt their mistrust and hatred of like, organized religious authority, align themselves with people who refer to jewish atheists as "religious nationalists" for refusing to divorce themselves from their ethnic backgrounds/culture/community/traditions. That rhetoric is Just antisemitism in a form that has been used to cause real and violent harm to us in living memory.

Also really alienated by the idea that one must be This Vitriolically Angry About Religion to "count" as an atheist. Like what? That is bonkers. I do not understand why the people making seemingly reasonable posts about "actually here's some interesting writings by people from Islamic cultures or majority Hindu cultures or orthodox jewish cultures outlining the ways that the authorities in these societies have used religion to cause harm on a systemic level" (objectively true) seem to be aligning themselves with people who are doing the SAME THING TO JEWS that they resent being done to them -- e.g. condescendingly explaining to us that our negative experiences with a certain type of atheists Don't Exist or Don't Count or cannot possibly be rooted in antisemitism.

I find the whole thing depressing and troubling. I don't tend to follow jumblr because of the aforementioned issues I have w it but this backlash seems to me to be disproportionate and really hateful in a way that... combines poorly with the increased antisemitic sentiments being lobbed at jews from all ideological sides recently. I wish we could all be more congizent of 1. the role trauma is playing here for everyone and 2. the inherent lack of productive discussion that can be had when two parties are simply Trauma Responsing at each other back and forth endlessly.

Then there's the people who just get super aggressive about people "believing fake things" but I'm not sure there's any help for them. Sure wish that the nonjewish atheists who are not like that would disavow them though! I certainly am more than happy to say "acknowledging a cultural/societal dynamic that privileges one religion and culture as default and that existing in thay culture might cause people to have unexamined assumptions about other religions and cultures" should not be weaponized against individual people in order to bully them by insisting they are a thing that they manifestly are not (atheists aren't Christians. The fact that atheists from Jewish backgrounds will have Jewishness shackled to them regardless of their degree of identification with Being A Jew is actually bad and a function of antisemitism; it is not an aspirational dynamic we should be applying to other people simply because their cultural background is privileged over our own in our society.)

Like can we stop talking past each other and try to understand where people are coming from

People are expressing a lot of hurt and anger about atrocities and systems of oppression that I ultimately feel are totally interconnected. Because of this hurt and anger most people are not being precise in their language or prioritizing connecting or actual dialogue about this and instead focusing on dogpiling and gotchas. It's discouraging.

I'm a secular humanist jew with complex feelings towards both jewishness and atheism as concepts and movements. I want to understand and connect with people based on our common ground.

This is I guess all me being a big baby who is unsuited to internet fights but this one specifically feels really hurtful to me because I feel like my reality is being ignored and denied. I suspect a lot of people are also feeling that way. Which might be a good place to START the discussion to be honest.

[glapplebloom]

Like the one Jaidenanimation played...

Master Research Link

What I’ve learned...

So I started with the three Gameboy Color Games... When I said quick cash grab this is what I meant. It’s basically the same game three times in 4 months. With the only difference being the bosses. And they did this on purpose because Blossom’s game (the first one) references Bubbles' game (the last one). And man, they definitely look as bad as Jaiden explained it.

HIM and Seek looks fun, and has the best sprites for the Powerpuff Girls made by a game company. In fact, HIM and Mojo Jojo sprites I use are edited/reshaded versions of these. And man, this game has a lot of great assets I could really use for the Powerpuff Girls side of GLAB. Meanwhile Mojo Jojo a Go Go looks so so and is a shmup.

Chemical X-Traction has some amazingly good CGI Animations for a PS1 era game. And you thought Pinkie Pie was the one who coined the phrased Baked Bads, but it was Bubbles who first uttered those words. Shame that’s probably the best thing about it. The Load times are long, it’s an arena fighter before it became more publicly known and it doesn’t look fun to play. 

Relish Rampage, their final console game, the graphics reminds me of Dance Pants, except not as artistic. Honestly, I like the CGI cutscenes of the PS1 era game better. So technically the Powerpuff Girls rigged an election in favor of the Mayor. While Mojo mind controlled citizens to vote for him, they took out ballot boxes containing those votes. Then there are Pickled Aliens invading. Other than that, nothing really of note other than Dynamo Suits that does... Something?

I was worried there wouldn’t be anything good from the games, but DANG Gamesville pulled through. HIM basically turned all of Townsville into a video game and brought back the Broccoli Aliens from the Dead. Not only did he threaten to erase Townsville and make it so the girls couldn’t do anything specific, he also destroyed that dimension that all the data was being sucked into. Thank you PC Gaming! 

Princess Snorbucks is similar to Mojo Jojo’s Clone zone, except mostly everything was done in a dream. Still, the cutscenes were pretty good for an educational game. Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion is basically the plot of Learning with Pibby. Other than that, not much besides fun interactions. And finally, the Powerpuff Girls: Defenders of Townsville is the last Major Powerpuff Game released. It’s based on Dance Pants but you can unlock the OG designs.

And thanks to Archive.org, I found one of the missing DC Comics. #48 has Sedusa making all of Townsville into a reality show so while they focus on being the star, she robs them blind. And when it was revealed the Professor doesn’t watch TV (which is a lie), Sedusa seduces him. The Girls beat her. The second story has Mojo having a garage sale. It's another story that becomes the plot of an episode. Granted, no Gangreen Gang. But Mojo still goes to jail despite stopping the moon from crashing.

Archive also has this presumably unpublished comic for DC... But I don’t buy it considering the art doesn’t match DCs as well as its an issue about the girls being naked (with nothing shown)..

Best Feat I found... 

It has to be HIM destroying that Dimension he was using to suck up all the data of Townsville. It’s basically the proof that he can pretty much erase something fully. If it wasn’t for that, it would have probably been the Powerpuff Girls beating the Beat Alls.

Next Time...

The Movie, original shorts, and some other stuff.

[nikadoesanart]

Dazai in both his PM & ADA clothes

In Chapter 11, we can see Dazai depicted wearing a combination of both his PM and ADA clothing when Chuuya reminds Dazai of his past as the youngest executive in the history of the Port Mafia. I am aware that he is drawn in a similar way in the Vol 3 contents page, but I will be saving that for another time, as he is accompanied by Akutagawa and Chuuya there and I think it's best to analyze that artwork as a whole.

In regards to Dazai’s outfit here being a mix of his ADA and PM ones, overall I think it was done intentionally to show how even though he’s been in the ADA for the last 2 years and defected from the PM 4 years ago, he can’t get rid of his past. He may have been able to literally burn the coat (ch 30, p 15) and create an unbelievably clean record (Entrance Exam p 17, Yen Press translation) but his crimes still followed him, covered up or not. Or another way I’d phrase it would be that he may be on the side that saves people and a better person at heart now, but he can’t shake off his past as it still quite literally clings on to him. Starting with the background, the people and eyes glaring at him could very well be a metaphorical representation of his crimes. For example, it could be some of the people whose deaths he played a part in. It could also be those who were/are supposedly close to him judging him for his decisions and actions as well as how he may likely feel that he is still viewed by society as a monster and "the demonic prodigy of the Port Mafia’s guerrilla squad" (The Heartless Cur, easygoingscans translation) considering that his high intellect alienates him from almost all of society in addition to all of his mafia achievements. After all, he was advised to lay low while his records were made clean for him to even have a chance at being hired by the Agency. For comparison, Fukuzawa’s past occupation isn’t common knowledge to the public and Kyouka’s mafia achievements were an issue at first with her being able to work in the Agency (or really anywhere outside of the mafia). Moving onto Dazai's overall appearance, he looks all disheveled here, as if both the coat and his own physical and mental states are all falling apart and off of him. He’s holding onto the coat like he’s not quite ready to let go of it, likely because his time in the PM is crucial to who he is today. After all, that is when and where he (most likely) met and befriended Oda (as far as we can infer based on existing knowledge in Dark Era, novel version included). Through Odasaku, Dazai found someone who truly understood him and was given a reason to both live and to get rid of his ties to the mafia, which the coat literally represents because he received it from Mori.

Fully leaving his past behind him means leaving Oda in the past and moving on from that part of his life entirely. We know that that is one thing he cannot and likely will not do, even if all he is left with now are small mementos and his memories of that time, including at least a couple of moments that he does treasure. We've seen him hold a Lupin matchbox and even pay the bar a visit right before difficult and risky decisions, and think of Oda when thinking of how he has failed both in the past and in the present or just reflecting in general (when talking with Kyouka on the plane in ch 35, at the end of 55 Minutes, at the end of season 3, and when discussing his views on why things happen with Fyodor in ch 77, etc).

Even in this panel alone, his facial expression clearly shows that he is far from pleased to be depicted and referred to this way and we now know that he was at his absolute lowest, mental health-wise, at age 16 during Storm Bringer (at least as far as we currently know of his past). (Creds to @emmacifer for pointing these two details out) Admittedly, my knowledge for understanding body language is fairly limited, but regardless, look at specifically how and where Dazai is holding onto the coat. His right hand is in his pocket and with his left hand he’s gripping onto what appears to be the area just between the parts of the coat that are in the armpit and lung areas (idk how else to describe it). If you try grabbing your own shirt or jacket in that same spot, you will feel some of the pull on the fabric in your shoulder, almost as if Dazai is trying to create or maybe even recreate this feeling in a more visible way to represent Oda's last words giving him a reason to leave and go towards the side that saves people, or his desire to escape from feeling inhuman. In regards to Dazai having his left hand in his pocket, and because Dazai specifically has his thumb out, that means high confidence (source 2).

(If you do know more about reading body language, I'd love to hear your input on this panel! The stuff about his right hand is purely my own speculation and interpretation vs the part about his left is based on what I read in the linked source) Coming back now to how he is dressed specifically in this panel, Dazai is wearing his coat/overcoat and bandages from his PM days and his vest, shirt, and pendant that he wears now in the ADA. In other words, he is currently on the side that saves people (the ADA) at heart, but he still wears his past on top of that. The weight of his actions, especially as a PM executive, outweigh his accomplishments under the ADA, especially once his crimes and past do get revealed. He is quite literally wearing the source of his (currently known) pain and suffering on top of everything else because that ultimately did play a large factor in shaping him as a person. Both the countless injuries he's sustained in exchange for his achievements (represented by the bandages) as well as the cause of the mental abuse and manipulation he was subject to under Mori (represented by the coat).

Additional sources and credits:

Meaning of hands in pockets Meaning of hands in pockets 2 (the one I used) Huge thank you to Zae, aka BSDiseverything on Twitter for helping to find where Dazai’s demon prodigy nickname is from (I literally reread half of Dark Era by this point and started checking the dark era anime)

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 12

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: You want to make a run into town, but you're forced to take one of the Guardians with you if you want to leave. Guess who get's the pleasure of annoying you? If that wasn't bad enough, someone decides to show up at your door...

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: For my records, this is day 17 of the Guardians living with reader.

Word Count: 6,751

"Where you going?"

You turned and looked towards the source of the voice, Peter's voice, coming from a door to the kitchen. You had just grabbed your keys from the kitchen counter and you were finishing up the short list on your phone.

Obviously you had intended to quickly run your errands the other day when you planned to take the raccoon corpse into town to be tested, but when Fury showed up having brought his own doctor and lab to test the raccoon on site, and also sentenced you to wearing your arm in a sling, you obviously hadn't done that.

It had been a couple days since then, you having wanted to get used to the sling a little bit before attempting to drive. You knew it still wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do, but you really wanted out of the house.

"Just running into town," you say, not paying him much mind.

"Why?" he asked, his tone weighting the word, almost as if he wanted to tell you that you weren't allowed.

You look up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Because I need to? Ya know, check the mail, pick some stuff up, post a few bills?" You knew it could all wait, and the bills could be paid online if you really needed to, but he probably didn't know that. "Unless you need something I really don't see what it is to you." You weren't meaning to sound like a dick, but he was acting weird. You didn't like his tone, and his weirdness was only emphasized when you start to approach the doorway to exit the kitchen but he didn't move.

His eyes briefly went to your arm in the sling-brace. "Don't you think you should be taking it easy?"

That's what it was. Knew it. You roll your eyes so hard one might think they'd get stuck. "I'm literally fine." You make a shooing motion but he still doesn't move. Sighing, you make your way toward the other door, only to hear him jogging up the hall to meet you there, the sound making you pause before completing the distance, rolling your eyes before continuing on to see he had indeed done just that. You awkwardly cross your good arm with the one in the sling. "Can I help you?" you say irritably.

Gamora entered the kitchen from the other doorway and you looked to her. "Can you please make your boyfriend stop being annoying?" you ask.

"I'm afraid that's impossible," she quipped with a slight smile, "Why? what's he doing now?"

By now Peter had entered the kitchen through the doorway he had been blocking. He ignored Gamora's quip about him being forever annoying and said, "She's trying to leave, I don't think it's a good idea."

"Well, lucky for me, you're not my boss," you say, admittedly a bit childishly.

Peter then donned a smug grin. "You're right. She is." He nodded in Gamora's direction, referring to the task Fury had assigned Gamora, essentially making her your babysitter as punishment for you neglecting to seek medical attention for your arm.

Your nostrils flared in irritation at him bringing it up and Gamora gave him a look that clearly stated she was uncomfortable. No one had mentioned the incident since the first day. You, because you didn't want to be reminded Fury was treating you like a child, and the others for pretty much the same reason, seeing no reason to provoke you, especially since you were seemingly behaving. (Again, aside from Rocket, but you had taken to keeping your earbuds in for most of the time, so if he did act like a dick to you it often fell on deaf ears.)

"Peter, I really doubt Fury intended for us to keep her locked inside." Gamora said, having assumed Peter was only wanting to refuse to let you go out for a walk, which she didn't understand, because he hadn't said anything when you took one the other day.

"Well I really doubt she's supposed to drive like that."

Finally understanding the issue Gamora grimaced. Peter was probably right.

Just then Yondu and Kraglin came into the kitchen looking to make something to eat, but saw the tense atmosphere.

"What's goin' on?" asked Yondu with a raised eyebrow. He hadn't heard any fighting coming in, but the way you were standing between Peter and Gamora almost implied someone was getting into it.

Peter spoke up, stating how you were looking to make a run into town and how he thought it was a bad idea for you to drive, only he phrased it to group him and Gamora together as having the thought, which prompted Gamora to say back to him that she actually hadn't given her opinion on the situation yet.

Yondu eyed you, or more specifically the brace on your arm. "Can ya drive like that?"

"Yeah." you reply. It was true, the arm in the brace wasn't the one you'd need for changing gears or signaling, so you should be fine, even if truthfully it'd be better if you didn't.

Yondu shared a glance to Kraglin and then shrugged. "Don't see a problem then." He turned toward the pantry, Kraglin following his lead, before he added, "Long as ya take Quill with ya."

You blinked. "Excuse me? Why would I- That's not- I'm not-" You were caught off guard and were now sputtering, clearly not thrilled with his addendum.

Yondu grinned at Kraglin, who was wondering where the elder was going with this, before saying nonchalantly, "If you're too nervous to take a passenger like that, then ya don't need to be going alone."

"I didn't say that!" you countered, pushing down the fact that the thought actually had entered your mind. "Maybe I just don't want to be annoyed by him- and I actually don't know if I can take him. That was never discussed." Again, this was also true. The topic hadn't come up. You had no idea if they were allowed to leave the property. Sure, for some it seemed obvious that they couldn't go into public, but you truthfully had never asked and had consequently never been told.

"He's Terran. Not like you'll run into issue there. I s'pose we could always call yer boss and ask..." His tone was laced with a grin as he turned back to face you with a Terran fruit he'd come to enjoy. A pear, he believed it was called. He was sure you wouldn't go for calling Fury, and he was right.

"No, we don't need to do that," you say irritably. Last thing you wanted to do was call Fury for something like this when he was already unhappy with you.

"I do think it'd be better if someone went with you," Gamora finally spoke up. "It couldn't hurt, at least." She was actually leaning towards the "don't let the Terran with an injured arm drive" party, but part of her believed you'd probably be fine and wanted to soften as much conflict as possible. Being transported in SHIELD vehicles she had seen how the insides operated, and it didn't look so complicated that you'd need both arms. It's not as if you were piloting a ship, and if you did wind up needing help, she was sure Peter could figure the vehicle out well enough.

You give her a mournful look and Yondu speaks again.

"But if yer still set on goin alone, I'm sure Gamora there won't mind callin' that Fury feller. Bet ya just wanna get away so ya can take that brace off without gettin in trouble," he said cooly with a grin. Catching the frown Gamora threw his way he added, "An' if she don't, I can always do it myself."

You tilted your head at the man, expression a mix of confused irritation. "First off, no, I'm not just leaving to do that. Secondly, who do you think you are? My mom?" you snarked.

"Nah, but yer acting like a kid. Somebody's gotta knock some common sense in that stubborn head of yers." Yondu replied, unfazed by your attempted insult as he took a bite of the pear and nodded once more to your injury.

You didn't get it. Why would he care? Why did any of them care?? Was it guilt? Because you wouldn't have been injured if they weren't there? You wanted to ask but settled for just sighing in defeat. You looked Peter over. He wasn't wearing a shirt with any alien writing on it, so at least he wouldn't get any funny looks for that. "Fine," you relented. "Get ready."

Peter let out a triumphant laugh and said he was already ready to go.

You took a moment and opened a couple drawers before finding what you were looking for. "Take these just in case." You tossed him a pair of black sunglasses. "You'll look like a douchebag, but you're probably used to that."

Peter let out a, "Hey!" but you ignored him, making your way past the others to the front door, telling Peter to hurry up.

***

"Can I drive?" Peter asked as the two of you walked to your vehicle.

"Absolutely not." you answered back with an incredulous glare.

"Why not? It'd be easier to let me drive than you try to drive with your arm in that."

"Because I seriously doubt you have a drivers license," you begin to say. Peter opened his mouth to retort but closed it again when you added, "that would be valid here." You open the driver's side door and add, "And because I don't even know if you know how to drive."

"I'll let you know I've been flying a ship since I was ten!" Peter countered.

"I don't care." you reply. "You're not driving. I can't risk us getting pulled over and you not have a license. You're fully free to stay here if you have a problem with that." You gesture back towards the house.

Peter disappointedly huffed but got in the passenger seat. You won this round.

***

Once you and Peter had left out the front door Yondu grimaced. "Might've miscalculated that one..."

"What'dya mean?" Kraglin asked. Gamora also gave him a funny look.

"Thought fer sure tellin' her to take Quill would've made her see that stayin' put wasn't that bad."

"Wait, you were trying to use reverse psychology??" Gamora asked, clearly annoyed.

"If that's what ya want to call it." Yondu shrugged with a frown, watching through the window as you pulled away down the drive, making sure the vehicle looked like it was driving straight. Luckily for you, it was. Otherwise he was fully prepared to whistle and spear a couple of your tires. Kitchen window would've needed replacing too if that happened, seeing as it was closed.

"Doesn't matter what I call it! It didn't work!" Gamora scolded. "If you didn't think it was a good idea you should have just taken our side instead of trying to play games and sending Peter with her!!"

"What'dya mean 'our side'? You were saying she should take someone with her too!"

"I didn't mean it!" Gamora snapped back.

Kraglin looked uncomfortable, not liking the feeling of being stuck in the room while the two of the more intimidating Guardians argued. Not wanting to draw attention to himself by leaving he just stood there and nibbled at his protein bar.

"Calm down, missy." Yondu said. "It'll be fine. And if not, Quill's got one of those phone things SHIELD gave us. Boy can handle himself."

Gamora glared but didn't speak any further, choosing instead to grab an apple off the table and head to her room. Yes, it likely would be fine, but it didn't mean she felt good about it.

***

After several minutes of driving in silence Peter tried to make conversation.

"So... lotta trees out here..."

"Uh huh."

"You make these trips into town often?"

You shrugged.

"I can see you don't feel much like talking..." Peter said awkwardly. You obviously weren't pleased with taking a passenger.

You turned on the radio in response.

Peter tried again after a few minutes when the music cut to a commercial break, trying a different tactic. "So, why are you afraid of doctors?" he asked, turning the radio down.

You gave him a strange look. "What? Where'd you get that idea."

He went into how you seemed tense when the doctor was checking you over when Fury came, and then recounted an incident that had happened the other day.

You had been reading in the sitting room when Mantis came in. You overheard her tell Gamora that her throat hurt, and so you pulled a lozenge from a drawer in the nearby table, telling her to suck on it and to tell you if it still hurt in an hour. If it did, you'd contact SHIELD to inform them she needed to see a doctor. Hearing this, Kraglin had piped up and asked why you would see that Mantis got a doctor straight away, but you had to have one forced on you. You gave him a look before telling him that it was different, and left the room before he could ask how.

"I only just put the two together." Peter said. "It must be because you're scared of doctors."

"No," you said flatly. "I'm not scared of doctors. I just didn't need one. If Mantis was sick, she would have needed one."

"But you did need one." Peter countered. "And Agent Hill told me about what you did in Romania. You needed one then too. Why would you do that to yourself unless you were too scared to go see a doctor?"

You exhale out your nose, annoyed that Maria had been telling him your business. "I'm not afraid of doctors, ok? It was an important job. There wasn't the time to stop and say 'Oops, will ya look at that, my appendix needs out. Better put the job on hold so I can find a doctor.' Not when I can do it myself. Happy?"

"She said you nearly died. That doesn't sound like being able to do it yourself. You can't do things like that. It's insane."

Your face hardened. Who did this guy think he was? Telling you what to do, you barely knew each other! "What's insane is a crime ring that traffics children to the wealthy elite for sexual favors," you snap at him. "So I guess I'm sorry if I wasn't willing to compromise the job to go lay in a damn hospital bed."

Peter didn't know what to say to that. He still thought you were insane for performing surgery on yourself, but he couldn't quite find a suitable argument after what you just said. After a moment he asked, "Did... did they get out?"

You knew he meant the kids. You swallowed. "Most of them. I don't want to talk about it." You turned the music back up, and Peter let it go.

The two of you rode in silence for a good bit longer before Peter turned the music back down again to speak.

"How much longer until we get where we're going?" he asked.

"Not long. Another ten minutes maybe. Why?"

"I need to take a leak."

You almost roll your eyes. "Why didn't you go before we left the house?"

"I didn't have to go then!"

A huffed laugh escaped your throat. "Seriously? You're like a toddler." You shake your head and say, "Do I need to pull over? I can if it's an emergency."

Peter almost pouted from the toddler comment. "No, I can hold it."

"Alright. Suit yourself."

About five minutes later you come up to a town, and a few minutes after that pull into the lot of a shop, the first stop on your list.

"I just have to run in here and grab a few things, they'll have a toilet you can use." you say as the two of you got out of the car, adding, "Don't forget those sunglasses. I don't want to take any chances."

He rolled his eyes but put them on anyway.

Upon entering the store you told Peter he'd find the toilet in the back and told him you'd be looking in the spices, pointing in the direction he'd find you when he was finished. You debated going along and waiting for him since he was technically your responsibility, but you decided against it. The shop wasn't too large so you trusted he wouldn't get lost on his own.

You split off on your separate ways and you grab a hand basket before heading towards the spices. You had only browsed for a short while when suddenly Peter was back at your side. "That was quick." you said to him, locating two of the spices you needed and dropping them in your basket.

"Door said it was out of order." Peter replied, sounding almost pouty.

You shook your head and said, "See, this is why you go before we leave the house." You find the last spice you needed and give him a knowing look as you began walking away from the spices.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a kid!" Peter said indignantly, following you as you left the aisle.

"Don't act like one." you reply, turning to find the cleaning aisle. SHIELD had been kind enough to include other basic things like toilet tissue on their supply drops, which you had been grateful for with eight other people living in your home, and the Guardians had already come with their own toiletries like toothpaste and soap, but you were seemingly on your own for cleaning supplies. You were now running low on dish and laundry soap. Gods, there was always laundry now. At least they did their own. Mostly.

"You're one to talk!" Peter retorted, gesturing to your arm.

You glare over to him as you walked. You swore, if you heard one more time about how you were acting like a child just for being stubborn about not seeing a doctor...

"Ow! You did that on purpose!"

"Did not." You said flatly, though you absolutely had smacked him with the basket on purpose. Not super hard or anything, but enough for him to feel it crack him in the knee.

He pinched you on the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Didn't do it on purpose." Peter mocked.

You were by the dish soap now and so you set the basket down to grab a bottle. However, you were sure to flick Peter on the back of the head before you did.

"You did not just flick me!" he said irritably, retaliating by giving your exposed side a couple quick squeezes.

Your arm jerked down fast as lightening, having been just shy of grabbing your preferred bottle of dish soap. Your cheeks were burning and you looked around as you scolded him in a whisper-yell. "We are in a public shop! Don't you dare start that!"

"You started it," he countered smugly. However, his the smugness was wiped off his face when you gave him a taste of his medicine.

"See how you like it then!" you say, using your good arm to return his actions. You hadn't been positive it would work, but you weren't disappointed to see the playing field leveled when it did.

Peter's eyebrows shot above the sunglasses, his eyes widening as he crippled away from the touch and grabbed your wrist. "Don't! I told you I had to pee!"

"Oh." You had been so busy bickering it had honestly slipped your mind. "Sorry."

"Truce?" Peter offered, releasing your hand.

"Yeah, fine. Truce." you agreed, reaching up to finally grab the bottle of dish liquid, a little embarrassed as you realized how much like children the two of you had just acted. "Just hurry up and figure out if you or your friends need anything before we leave," you say, making your way down the aisle to grab the laundry detergent.

It was Peter's turn to look embarrassed, only for a completely different reason. "Actually, now that you mention it- if it's ok, I was wondering if they sell... "certain"... things here?"

You put the detergent in the basket and begin to head towards the pharmacy section, realizing it wouldn't hurt to pick up some bug spray and more of that gel for the bites. Mantis had a bad habit of getting bit by midges, and most of the others had started falling victim to them as well. You didn't look at Peter as you walked, saying, "You're going to have to be way more specific than that, dude."

Peter's cheeks we turning noticeably pink by the time you looked at him when he said, "You know... um... the things... for "special moments..." he used air quotes and looked quite uncomfortable, even with the sunglasses hiding his eyes. "Um... you know... uh... When two people like each other very much..."

You wanted to cover your mouth to hide your grin, but one arm was stuck in a sling-brace and the other was too busy holding the grocery basket. "Are you asking if they sell condoms here?" You tried really hard to bite back a laugh, but a tiny chuckle slipped out. It wasn't that he was asking for them that was funny, it was the way he seemed like a teenage boy about it, all nervous and such like you'd call his mother on him.

Peter's face was bright red now. "Don't laugh! Just- never mind."

"No, it's totally cool. It's just funny. I mean, we're adults, you can ask for them. Like, at least you're being safe about it." Suddenly feeling in a better mood and wanting to tease him you say, "Unless... do we need to have 'the talk' young man?" Now you really couldn't hide your giggles.

"So not cool!" Peter pouted, hiding his face in his hands.

You nudged him in the arm and pointed him down that aisle and told him he could find what he needed there. You continued up a couple aisles to grab the bug repellent and itch cream.

You met back up and he wordlessly threw what he had retrieved into the basket, barely looking at you as he did so. You held back giggles at his behavior and asked if he knew of anything else you needed to grab before checking out.

Peter shook his head, and you can tell by his expression he's eager to leave the shop and go back to the house. You almost feel bad for laughing, and you get an idea.

"If your friends liked the Oreos I can pick you up some more. We'll pass that aisle to get to the checkout anyway."

Peter nodded and you grabbed another double sleeve of Oreos before walking to check out. You only hoped you wouldn't get stuck with one of those chatty cashiers.

Wouldn't you know it, of course you did. You weren't super familiar with the cashiers despite frequenting this store, but you had become familiar with the fact that you didn't care for the one who's line you got stuck in, not realizing you had until it was too late.

Normally you feel for retail workers. You knew it was a tough job, but this one cashier just didn't know how to get the hint that not every item he scanned needed a comment.

Laundry soap? "Ooh! Great taste in scent!" Spices? "Someone likes cooking! Anything good tonight? Yum Yum! Ha ha!" Bug spray and itch cream? "Oh those nasty midges are out again. I feel you, haha." Cond-? Oh fuck. "Oh ho! Someone's getting luck-ay tonight! Am I right, my dude?" He winked at Peter, who noticed you looked like you wanted to reach across and murder the cashier.

Peter chuckled nervously and tried to smooth it over. At least, that's what you thought he was attempting. "Oh- aha- no. We're not together. We're uh- She's my sister."

You snapped a glare at Peter as you thrust your payment to the cashier and grabbed one of the two bags before storming off, telling him to keep the change. Peter grabbed the other bag and left the cashier standing there, who at least finally had the decency to look embarrassed by his comment.

Peter caught up with you quickly.

"Don't call me your sister. I barely know you," you say grumpily. That wasn't really the full reason it upset you. Peter wasn't your brother. Your brother was gone. Peter didn't get to call you that.

"Sorry, I panicked," he said.

You brush him off. You knew there was no way he could know. "Whatever, let's just leave. Sooner we finish in town sooner we can go back to the house."

You made your next stop to a nearby petrol station to fill up your car and give Peter a chance to find a working toilet. After the two of you successfully completed both tasks respectively, you stopped by the post office to grab the mail and post your bills while you left Peter in the car. On your way out of the post office you caught glimpse of someone across the road and a brick fell in your stomach when they waved, indicating they clearly saw you. You nodded back out of politeness but hurried to get in your car.

You buckled in and looked in the rearview mirror, only to see the person, a middle aged woman in a flowery blouse, walking towards your car, still not quite to the road yet, and waving her arms trying to get your attention.

"Fuck," you say, putting the car in gear to reverse before stopping to put it back in drive to finish pulling away. This would be so much quicker if your arm wasn't in the damn sling, but you still managed even with having to completely stop to remove your hand from the wheel to safely change gears.

"What?" Peter asked, turning to look out the back window once you began to pull forward.

"Don't worry about it- and don't look back!" you scold. You take a peek in your review mirror to see the woman gesturing in defeat, thinking you hadn't seen her trying to get your attention, and you let a small relieved sigh.

"Who was that?"

"No one." you replied.

"So you ran away... from no one. Sure."

You shoot him a look and turn the radio back up, clearly signaling that you weren't about to discuss it. The rest of the ride was spent in silence.

***

Once home you told Peter to put his "special" items (yes, you called them that, air quotes and all, just to embarrass him) in one of his pockets unless he didn't mind advertising them to the rest of his friends. You had assumed he'd be embarrassed if they were just on display for the others based on how he acted in the shop, and the fact that he obeyed implied to you that you were correct.

Once inside you and Peter made your way to the kitchen to put things away. He had refused to let you carry both bags, and you didn't fight him.

Sitting at the table were Kraglin, Yondu and Rocket. On the table were five empty bowls and an empty tub of ice cream.

You sat your bag on the counter and began pulling out it's contents to put them away. Honestly you were slightly bummed that they had finished off the whole thing, if you had known that you might have picked some more up while you were in town, but you didn't say anything about that. You did, however, say something along the lines of "Looks like you guys had fun without us."

Kraglin, who knew you didn't like the house to be messy and knew they were expected to keep up after themselves, began gathering the bowls to put them in the sink, to the eyeroll of Rocket.

"Yup. Ya two missed the party," said Yondu with a chuckle. "I'll admit, that ice cream stuff ain't bad." He then said to Peter, "Yer girlfriend is the only one who didn't want any."

You froze in place, your eyes widened. It hadn't clicked before. Your mind had been preoccupied with other things. Ice cream. Five bowls. There were seven people left at the house. Gamora hadn't wanted any. Tiny Groot probably shared with someone else. Yondu literally said he ate some. That meant... fuck.

You turned around to face them. Looking right at Yondu you say, "Uh, how long ago would you say you guys had the ice-cream?"

"Not quite half an hour ago, why?"

You bit your lips before saying, "Do none of you think to read labels before you eat things?"

Kraglin rolled his eyes playfully as he sat back down. "What? Ya mad we ate your snack?" he teased.

"No no no-" you state, holding up your pointer fingers like a teacher instructing the class on why they were incorrect. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or groan. Probably the later. You look over at Peter, who held a slight grimace on his face. You say to him, "You know what ice cream is?"

Peter nodded. He remembered ice cream. He also knew the moment Yondu claimed to have eaten it what the problem was.

You look back to the others. "Any of you know what ice cream is?"

Yondu and Kraglin exchange a strange look and Rocket rolls his eyes, wanting you to get to the point.

"It's basically frozen milk."

"Ah." Yondu says, clasping his hands on the table and dipping his head with a slight wince of understanding. He was about to have a bad time. Kraglin and Rocket now share a look that can only be described as 'Crap..." (No pun intended)

Disbelieving laughter bubbles up your throat as you bend below the sink to retrieve a can of aerosolized air freshener and plop it down on the table in front of Yondu. "That's for you, for the inevitable. Use it." You walk to haphazardly throw the contents of your grocery bag in the pantry, leaving your mail on the counter and grabbing your earbuds. "Make sure to open the windows... I'm going for a walk, because there's no way I'm sticking around to deal with that again," you say, giving a mock salute as you make your way out the back door, leaving the guys there to deal with what was sure to be the horrible aftermath of their oversight.

*** You finally came back a couple hours later to find all the windows still open, but no one outside, and decided that was probably a good sign.

You cautiously re-entered the house to find that no bad smells seemed to have stuck around and decided to go look for survivors, but first you needed a snack. You were starving.

You ate a pop-tart just for something quick and then found everyone in the sitting room. Feeling in decent humor you said, "Oh good. You lived." This earned groans from the others. They weren't really annoyed with you for abandoning ship, so much as they were annoyed that Yondu would have messed up and ate dairy for a second time. Well, Peter was a little annoyed that you had just left him there when he hadn't been part of who caused the issue, but he'd get over it.

Your phone started to go off, startling you and a couple others in the process. You checked the caller-id and recognized the number. "Nope," you say aloud, ignoring the call.

"Who was that?" Peter asked.

"No one," you reply, only for your phone to chime with a text almost in response. You open the text and your eyes widen before you make your way quickly but calmly to the windows to shut them and draw the curtains.

This, of course, gathers the attention of the Guardians.

"What's wrong?" Yondu asks, perplexed by your behavior.

"Nothing," you answer at first, before turning to face them and amending it to, "Nobody's home," and continuing your task with the other three windows, still trying to retain a semblance of being calm.

The others watched as you made your way about the room, sharing perplexed glances. Once finished with the final window at the back of the room you started heading towards the door when Mantis grabbed your hand.

"Are you ok? What can we do?" she asked, concerned. "Please tell me?" She could feel you didn't want to ask for help, but she hoped her asking nicely might work.

You barely glance at her, don't notice her antennae are glowing. "I'm fine. If you want, I could use some help shutting the rest of the windows and curtains, please and thank you." You pull away and head to the hall, where they can see you draw the curtains on the front door shut through the sitting room doorway.

"I know you said you can ease people into compliance, but I didn't think you could actually make people do things." Peter whispered to Mantis. He naturally just assumed that's what happened. You, miss "I don't need help from anyone!" had actually asked for help. Clearly that wouldn't happen without some Mantis mojo. The closest you had come to asking for help was the first time Yondu had dairy and you wanted Peter to help open the windows, but still, that was less asking for help and more of telling him what to do if he wanted to live.

"I can't." Mantis replied. "She was genuinely asking. She's very nervous."

Peter shared a look with Gamora and Drax stood up from the couch to follow you, and the they followed him along with Mantis.

Yondu and Kraglin stayed in the sitting room with Rocket, who told himself he didn't care about whatever this nonsense was about and continued to play with Groot. Kraglin and Yondu exchanged puzzled looks, because unlike Rocket they were genuinely curious what was going on to make you as nervous as Mantis claimed. Why were you batting down the hatches for?

In the kitchen Drax helped you close the windows and curtains. As soon as he heard Mantis say she felt you were nervous he felt there must be a good reason and that he should probably help you, just in case.

Then you started shutting out the lights, and this increased the other's concerns.

"What's going on?" Gamora asked, authority in her voice as she followed you out of the kitchen. You may be their host, but she still felt they had a right to know what was going on, if they were in danger.

"Nothing." you say, shutting off the lights in the hall on the way to the sitting room.

"If it was nothing you wouldn't be doing this. Something is wrong. Do we need to call SHIELD?" She asked more insistently, not believing you.

You turn to her irritably at the doorway. "No. We don't need SHIELD," you say, flicking the switch to turn the sitting room's light off, much to the puzzlement of those inside.

"I will if you don't tell us what's wrong."

Just then there was a knock at the front door, and you visibly startled in response before freezing in place and whisper yelling, "Quiet!"

The other's obeyed, not sure what else to do or what was going on.

Peter quietly stepped out of the kitchen where he had been peeking through one of the curtains when he thought he could see the dim glow of headlights through the fabric. He saw a blue car pull up next to yours, and out of it stepped a tall man in a light grey sweater and a woman in a floral print blouse. She looked familiar.

"Hey," Peter whispered across the hall, "It looks like that woman from earlier. The one you ran away from."

"Shut up." you hissed.

Gamora looked at the two of you in confusion, but didn't say anything, didn't get the chance, because the knock sounded again and a woman's voice could be heard from the other side of the door calling your name.

"We know you're in there." said the voice. It wasn't angry or confrontational like the others might expect for someone you were apparently hiding from. "Your car's in the drive and we saw you shutting the lights out when we drove up."

You grimaced.

"We just want to talk." It was the man's voice this time.

Peter and Gamora looked at you expectantly, and you shook your head at them. Drax was now standing behind Peter in the kitchen doorway, Mantis having already moved past him to stand next to Gamora in the hall with you.

"Yes, we just want to talk." The woman's voice again. "We saw you in town today, we've been thinking about you."

By now Yondu and Kraglin had made their way closer to the door to better hear what was being said. They didn't care if they were being nosy.

The man spoke your name now, questioningly, as if to ask if you could hear them. "Ok, we understand if you don't want to see us, but please listen; We forgive you, and we're sorry."

You take in a breath, trying to mask your feelings with the others near. They were looking at you. Gamora's face had softened, wondering what the man meant. Forgave you for what? Sorry for what?

"We shouldn't have blamed you for what happened. We know that now." came the woman's voice. "We've had a lot of time to think it over, and we were wrong."

The man spoke again. "We were just hoping you could find it in your heart to forgive us, too."

You felt your chest tighten and you eyes burn, and so you clenched your jaw and your fists, unwilling to show any emotion to the space-strangers in your home, but they noticed anyway.

Peter gestured to get your attention and mouthed, "Open the door."

You shook your head, and he gave you a confused look. You nodded your head towards Mantis and Gamora as if to say, "Um, not with aliens in my hall!" Although that wasn't completely the reason, and you had the feeling he could tell, as he only sighed and frowned slightly in response.

After a pause the woman spoke again. "Alright. We understand you may not be ready yet. Maybe another time. We're still at the same place when you're ready to speak with us. Hopefully that's soon. We'll be going now."

You waited a few moments before approaching the door, and the other's thought you might finally be going to talk to the couple. You didn't, mostly to Peter's disappointment. Instead you peeked through a sliver in the curtains to watch them leave, not pulling away until their vehicle was gone.

As soon as you stepped back from the door Peter asked, "What was that? Who were they?"

"Nothing and no one," you answer, not meeting anyone's gaze as you flicked the hall light back on and walk towards the stairs.

Mantis grabbed your hand, but you pulled away, telling her that you weren't in the mood to hold hands right then and you were going to go take a shower. She just looked down sadly in response, but you wouldn't look at her to notice.

No one stopped you as you walked upstairs, and when you were out of earshot, Drax whispered to Mantis asking what you had been feeling just then, having noticed Mantis had been reading you when she grabbed your hand.

The other's listened in to her answer as she mournfully replied. She hadn't been able to touch you for long enough to get a full reading, but there had been one dominant emotion when she did touch you. You had been sad.

This only rose more questions from the team. Had the couple been been angry with you? What had you done? Why would their forgiveness have made you sad?

Weren't most people happy to be forgiven?

The sound of your bedroom door opening and shutting travelled down the stairs, followed shortly by the same noise of the bathroom door as you entered for your shower.

Yondu almost thought he could hear the faint sounds of crying before the noise was drowned out by the sound of a shower blasting on.

[warcraftedtardis]

Yet another humans are space orcs post

Tactile sensation edition. (Long post)

So, first off, I’m not sure if anyone has covered the weirdness that is Touch as a core sensation for humans. Baring injury, disability, or paralysis/numbness, our ability to literally feel the world around us is a BIG energy sink in our brains. For example, just look at the Sensation-based proportion model of a human. It’s a weird gremlin looking thing with over accentuated hands and feet because they’re are just so many nerves and sensor in those places. But, more than just Touch, there’s also the imagination of Touch and how that affects how we perceive things.

Think about it for a second.We correlation sensation information along with emotional experiences. For example, a kind or open person is often described in writing as having a warm personality. The part of our brains devoted to physical sense has designated “Warm” as meaning “pleasant” or “comforting” or “soothing” on an emotional level as well as a physical one. The person being describe doesn’t have a personality that can be literally interacted with and deemed “warm” so the metaphor of physical sensation communicates an emotional response. In other words the connotation of a physical experience becomes an emotional one. How bizarre is that?

Another side of this sensation shortcut is in its effect on our values. Let me ask you a quick question: what does a tiger feel like? For most of us, we’ve never touched a tiger before much less seen one in person, but your had an answer of what you thought it felt like based on something you’ve experienced before. Now what about a frog? If you like frogs you probably thought something like “smooth” while if you’re not a fan of them you might have thought “slimy”

Why? 

Smooth is for most a positive sensation; a tactile stimulation that is pleasurable to experience in a range of states, but for something to be slimy is akin to it being a negative tactile sensation for most people. The way mucous or gunk sticks to and coats skin is not generally enjoyable and sets off the alarms for being dirty or gross. The association of a description can change the perspective of an object, person, place, creature, or idea. We use this in narrative medial all the goddamn time but I’m not sure we really think about it. And then, as it relates to our experience of the world, sensations we like as a species gain positive connotations while ones we dislike gain negative connotations. We are at a point where we can describe most of the world in touch-based sensations and be more or less understood without having to be detailed in our descriptions. 

We’ve even bred companion animals specifically because we like how they feel. Look me in the eyes and tell me a long, silky-furred Persian cat with it’s fucked up smushed face was designed to look that way because the destruction of its respiratory system was enjoyable. A few people found the smushed nose in combination with that amazing fur texture to be alluring and then kept making that combination of traits in cat breeds. Same thing with certain dog breeds. We’ve got them with coarse shorter fur that is smooth and warm when well kept and those with longer fur that’s more plush and you can run your fingers through. All those other animal posts that talk about how “every animal is dogs” because the instinct to pet the cute is too strong. We feel good so we touch. Sometimes we touch so that we can feel good. Sometimes certain Touch sensations are useful focusing tools or are repulsive deterrents that are just “nope” and these can vary from person to person. 

Here’s another example that wraps back into semantics: why are sexy things described as “hot”? What the absolute fuck does “that’s hot” mean in a literal context? Well, if you’ve ever had the adult fun times, or have gotten really into adult alone time, you know that you can work up a sweat, that the whole ordeal is literally hot. Temperatures from the experience literally became a phrase used to reference sexual preferences or erotic aesthetics (humorously used or not)

Now, some of you might be thinking “No duh, that’s just how language be” and others of you might be thinking that this isn’t that weird, but consider the fact that these sensations dicate emotional responses to our surroundings. If we encounter a race of inhuman aliens that felt nice to the touch we’d probably like them a lot more, even more so if our exposure to the positive tactile sensations led us to associate the aliens with those same positive traits or even encouraged us to see them as “cute” or “cool” because we all know hoe pack-bond prone humans are. 

For a pursuit predatory that hopped right out of the food chain on a deathworld, we sure do keep a lot of potentially dangerous stuff around us because “it feels good” and--perhaps most obviously--a good portion of our packbonding behaviors manifest in some form of physical contact be it pets or outright cuddling. 

TL:DR Humans are so devoted to Touch feelings that it impacts our mood, our language, and our emotional perception of reality; also we as a species are all snuggle packbonding weirdos that totally would pet aliens to determine if they were friendship material.

This post brought to you by a touch-starved disaster who is up too late and who pet cat is just....so soft you guy... it’s like chinchilla soft and silky smooth, omg she’s so cute gjdghgakjdgk

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Box Boy Worldbuilding: Training

I had a request to put together the phrases I’ve mentioned Box Boys memorizing/being forced to memorize and training references from my fics! This won’t be an exhaustive list, I’ll be adding as I find/remember things I’ve mentioned. Feel free to message me any memorized phrases, training specifics, or anything else from other BBU fics I’ve missed or that appear in your own fics that I don’t use, and leave a username so I can properly tag!

As always, a disclaimer: The Box Boy concept belongs to @sweetwhumpandhellacomf and was popularized by a variety of bloggers including @shameless-whumper and more. Nothing listed here is set in stone. Your Box Boy and/or Box Babe stories belong to you! It’s a sandbox and you can build that castle anyway you want. 

Discard all of this or use any of it as you want or it fits your story. I’m just playing around with ideas, and people have asked me to kind of put some of this stuff together as reference material!

Memorized Phrases:

“You signed up for this.” - @shameless-whumper

“The owner is safe. You love the owner. You will do whatever the owner wants.”

“All pets are of legal consenting age and make a choice to pursue a change of circumstances including no longer retaining legal ownership of themselves.”

“I am an active participant in fulfilling my owner’s desires.” (Romantic or Combination only)

“The owner’s touch is safe, whoever they are.”

“I want to be touched. I want this. I want you.” (Romantic or Combination only)

“All merchandise is acquired through fully legal channels.” - @shameless-whumper

“Discipline is a necessary and humane event ensuring the continued obedience and wellbeing of a pet.” - @shameless-whumper

“I am a weapon and a toy. I exist to obey and protect my owner(s).” - @redwingedwhump

“The process of training is intensive and can have residual effects including sudden but brief loss of consciousness when resetting to a product’s default state.”

Designations:

- Domestic - household servant, includes cleaning, cooking, organization, and household management training. Cooking training covers basics unless specific cuisines or skills are required. In my stories, Dex, Sebastian, and Peter are all trained Domestics with different specializations. Positions 1-25 included. A domestic is trained to be loyal and obedient to their owner but will have no particular affection or love for them unless customized in the request.

- Platonic / Caregiver - Designed to act as a companion or caregiver to someone within a household. Often used as a kind of limited home health aide. Custom training available to match specific healthcare needs. Also wonderful as a kind of companion for elderly or isolated persons. Positions 1-25 included. Conditioned to be affectionate and loyal. 

- Romantic - Designed to substitute for a physical or romantic relationship. Trainee is taught to physically service the needs of their owner and conditioned to become loyal, attracted, and completely devoted to their owner. Romantics have the lowest success rate for runaways and often return to their owners within three months or less of leaving. Positions 1-25 included, with an extra 10 “Romantic-specific” positions available, each with an added fee. 

- Combination - Any combination of these. A Companion and Romantic are similar but not exactly the same, so if you ordered a Romantic who would still need to know certain home healthcare skills, they would be a Combination. Or a Domestic who would also perform Romantic duties would be considered a Combination. 

- Guard Dog - see @redwingedwhump‘s Guard Dog David and @moose-teeth‘s Daniel Brennan/B The Guard Dog (Moose really did the development on the Guard Dogs here - please send her asks with any questions!) often exists under the Combination Designation and performs bodyguard duties and other duties as required by their owners. Fighting training, targeted aggression, and very specialized and single-target loyalty is part of training here. Basic positions included. Guard Dogs will be extremely loyal to designated ‘safe’ people (owners) and will regard nearly everyone else as suspicious and untrustworthy/potentially dangerous.

SEE HARO-WHUMP’S LIST OF BOX BOY POSITIONS HERE

Referenced Training Specifics:

- Box Boys/Babes are trained to be afraid to see their own contracts - they get shaky/panicked even just looking at them after the signing date (Kauri)

- Read @shameless-whumper‘s the The Host’s Discipline Tutorial for a great run-through on disciplinary techniques Box Boys are taught to respond to

- Disciplinary methods in the Facility include black batons wielded by Handlers that have an optional electric shock component for a minimum of permanent scarring or injury with maximum pain infliction

- Food in the Facility includes ‘nutrient loaf’ and ‘nutrient shakes’. The loaf is largely flavorless and the shakes are “chocolate”, but it’s mostly chalky and disgusting. Has been referred to as tasting like someone described chocolate to an alien, but poorly. Keeps Box Boys from descending into total malnourishment while still not quite fully satisfying nutritional requirements. Teaches Box Boys to be even more grateful for food with real flavor once they’re with their owners.

- Memorization is a big part of conditioning, a memorized series of phrases and rules that become second-nature to recite if asked anything pertaining to them (Trainee Peter (435698), for instance, despite being underage, insisting that he’s eighteen again and again when Todd questions him)

- Incorrect thoughts or aberrations: defiant, rebellious thoughts or memories that come back that aren’t allowed

- Trainees may develop different responses to their repressed memories. Kauri has a vasovagal response to seeing his own face or trying to remember his real name - he has a sudden precipitous drop in blood pressure and passes out. Dex very occasionally has a kind of seizure called a nonepileptic seizure that is not caused by a physical mechanism but by repressed memories attempting to be recovered. 

- Attempts to remember things they aren’t allowed to, or to think too heavily about where they might have come from - and often even attempts to clearly remember the Facility and the training they underwent there - result in a sharp, agonizing pain and headache that can last a long time or even result in unconsciousness, and a feeling of “fog” taking over. - @shameless-whumper

- Romantic designation training can include bringing in outside contractors if their skills are needed to help the trainee meet the standard the prospect owner requires - @redwingedwhump

- Trainees are usually trained with shock collars, but prospective owners may specify that they don’t want shock training included for their pet

- Trainees are drugged as part of inducing memory loss and making them more suggestible/compliant

- Trainees rarely directly interact

- Training takes anywhere from a few months to years depending on how quickly the trainee learns and what a buyer has ordered. - @shameless-whumper

- Pets are purposefully made to be unable to exist as free humans, or are at least told that they can no longer live on their own and that they would be miserable, lonely, and likely end up injured, starving, or worse. 

- Some owners may specify that they do not want their pets to be able to read or write. Most pets will read more slowly post-training as a side effect regardless, but not all. Pets can also be specifically trained for complicated work, if needed. 

- What an owner does with a human pet after the three-month return period is up is their own prerogative. Whumpees-R-Us takes no legal responsibility for the actions of any pet while under their owner’s care.

- Any trainee that has had a direct interaction with Karen Renford is terrified of her

- Every pet is terrified of being sent back for “refurbishment” more than anything else - @shameless-whumper

- Box Boys are taught not to admit if they recognize or remember each other from training - @shameless-whumper

- Hearing the word ‘respect’ will often result in the Box Boy, even those who are freed or who ran away, dropping to their knees and touching their forehead to the floor automatically

- Box Boys move through positions instantly without even a conscious thought, due to repeated positions training that ingrains the movements into their minds even deeper than conscious thought ( @deluxewhump)

[ace-beef]

Truth Seekers spoilers

okay so I have a lot of thoughts surrounding the characters Dave and Jojo and I’m gonna talk about them under the cut so don’t look any further if you haven’t watched the show yet and don’t want to be spoiled!! 

so... what exactly ARE Dave and Jojo? 

I think we have three main options: gods (more specifically God and Satan), angels and/or demons, or aliens, and there’s a decent bit of evidence for each thing/stuff that could be interpreted to link to each thing, and I’m gonna delve into that in this post. So buckle up lads this is gonna be a long one. 

First I’m gonna go over the possibility that they’re aliens since that is the one I personally think is least likely since most, if not all, of the evidence that suggests that they’re aliens is linked to Dave and not Jojo. Anyway, Alien Evidence:  - Dave pulls out the Pioneer Plaques to show Jojo what he based his human appearance on. So they could be aliens that came across the Pioneer spacecraft and decided to investigate Earth further - Dave himself is a huge Carl Sagan reference, as listed by this tumblr post here, so his appearance could have been a result of him being inspired by one particular human he happened to like a lot (similar to how he appears to like Gus and Astrid a lot)  - the slogan on the side of Gus’ van says “connecting worlds”, and we can safely assume that that is Smyle’s slogan, the slogan of the company that Dave is in charge of. So this could be a similar situation to The Network in The World’s End in the sense that Dave could be an alien aiming to connect different intelligent civilisations throughout space. Although it definitely seems like Dave isn’t seeking to aggressively convert and control these civilisations that he connects like The Network... right? I’m fairly confident that he’s supposed to be a Good(TM) character and not some surprise twist villain but y’know we’ll never know 

So yeah while there is definitely some stuff to suggest that this mysterious pair are aliens, I personally don’t think they are since I’ve found more evidence suggesting that they are something else. They appear to be too in tune with Earth, the creatures inhabiting it, and “the other side” that souls pass on to after animals and humans die just to be aliens from another world that are observing the planet. Plus the use of the phrase “Super Being” for some reason doesn’t feel alien to me, because unless they’re very self entitled aliens (and Dave definitely doesn’t give off that vibe) then I don’t think they would consider themselves as above humanity, which is the energy that the phrase “Super Being” gives off. I heard that phrase and interpreted it as meaning ‘beings that are above humanity and above human comprehension’. Aliens for the most part are depicted as being just another race of beings, not above humanity despite how much further advanced they are. There is the possibility of Dave being the only alien of the two but then how did these two creatures meet? It just doesn’t feel right since they both appear to be on the same level as each other and have some kind of mutual understanding as if they were both the same thing, not two different creatures.

Anyway next I’m going to move onto the things suggesting that they’re angels and/or demons. This seems more plausible to me than aliens but I’m still not 100% sure on this one but I will say that there is a lot of evidence/interpretations that could suggest both this possibility and the possibility of them being gods. Angel/Demon Evidence:  - the name ‘Jojo’ could be a link to the angel Jophiel  - there is a mention of a ‘bigger picture’ so we could have a Good Omens-type situation where there is a plan in motion that both Dave and Jojo are a part of and are making sure that it is played out  - the “what did you come as?” “same as always, a man” bit obviously suggests that their actual forms are definitely not human and probably not even humanoid (whereas an alien would be at least humanoid in some capacity). Bibically accurate angels do not look human/humanoid in the slightest, and demons, while a bit more humanoid than angels, are still very animalistic in appearance. Also, imagine an innocent angel that has never pried to look at what a human ACTUALLY looks/acts like suddenly panics about having to look and act like a human and pulls up that one thing the humans sent out to the aliens as a reference and goes entirely on that (listen I really like Dave he seems like such a Good Boy who isn’t the brightest but he’s trying his best) - Dave’s aversion to swearing, links to the theme of purity which is obviously an angel thing. Plus ‘Good’ characters will often have a trait of being against swearing to reinforce the idea that they are Good and Pure - Gus makes a comment about Dave “never not being [at Smyle HQ]” so he’s clearly there all the time, which could suggest a lack of needing to go home and do basic human functions such as eat and sleep etc (I do want to bring up that an alien still would probably need to continue with some kind of basic functions that have similar purposes). Plus while he does have a coffee cup on his desk, it’s only filled with pens - in a similar vein, Jojo appears to spend all of her time in the abandoned Happy Eater, and even though it’s an abandoned restaurant, it’s been abandoned for over 20 years and therefore won’t have any edible food still in it (except for the crisps but let’s be real Elton why did you try and get those out they’re probably horribly out of date). The still steaming cup of tea/coffee and the crisps in the vending machine I feel like were put there by Jojo to play to the gang’s curiosity and prompt them to explore further and find her 

there are a few things here that could also be used to suggest that they are gods/God and Satan, plus there’s a few more bits that would also go in this section but I’m saving them for the next bit. Anyway there’s the stuff pointing to them being either both angels or Dave being an angel and Jojo being a demon, and there’s plenty more evidence compared to the amount of things that suggest that they’re aliens. 

Finally we have the things linked to the idea of them being gods of some kind, or more specifically God and Satan. This is the idea that I am the most sure of.  Gods/God and Satan Evidence:  - as I mentioned already, the idea of the ‘bigger picture’, but instead they are the ones in charge of carrying this out. This feels more likely especially when considering the way that Jojo talks about her ‘use’ of Toynbe. Plus the way that the two go about doing everything, the ambiguous vibe that the two are either having the equivalent of a friendly card game against each other or are actually on opposite sides. Consider the placement of the rose in the field and the planting of the cameras etc - also as mentioned earlier, the implication that Dave never leaves Smyle HQ and Jojo stays in the abandoned restaurant. Also I want to add on the fact that neither of them appear to have cars, like Dave outright says “I don’t have a car” and yet knows how to drive the one he borrows, and there’s no sign of a car at Jojo’s hideout. Plus the way she doesn’t make any kind of journey and just appears in Dave’s office: he doesn’t look up to see who’s walking through the door and there is no shot of Jojo walking through the door, he simply smiles as if he senses her presence appearing in the room before looking at her - Dave wears blue, white, and grey clothing, which are also the same colours used in his office, and the lighting whenever he’s in shot is always either bright and white or a light blue, especially in that last scene where Jojo and Dave are chatting in his office; every time the camera is on him, the lighting of the shot is always blue. White especially is associated with holiness and purity, as well as being a colour that is associated with God, angels, and heaven. Blue is similar in the sense that heaven is always depicted with white clouds and bright blue skies, as well as blue often being a colour used to represent ‘Good’ characters - speaking of colours, Jojo is also linked to certain colours, with those colours being red and black (but primarily red). The abandoned restaurant is dark and barely lit, and her hideout in the basement is primarily lit with red lighting, both in the scene where she encounters the Truth Seekers gang and at the end where she rings Gus and orders that guy to send a cleanup crew. Also, once again in that last scene, she not only is wearing a black item of clothing, the lighting of her shots are always red to oppose Dave’s blue lighting. Red obviously is synonymous with hell, evil, the Devil/Satan, sin etc. Red is also often used to represent villains and evil characters, and black is similar with its themes of darkness and it’s use for villains. I like to think that Jojo got that blue rose for Dave partially to mock him, especially when considering that apparently blue roses are often used to symbolize mystery or attaining the impossible. (Also I want to point out that we already know that these boys do love their colour coding/theming as evidenced by the Cornetto Trilogy) - once again I’ll bring up the phrase “Super Being”, which really does sound like a phrase that a god who is very much above humanity would use, like that just screams ‘gods’ to me  - I used this as alien evidence but Dave looking like Carl Sagan could also be applied to him being a god and just deciding to base his appearance on a human he liked a lot - same with the “connecting worlds” slogan, since I think that part of Dave and Jojo’s game/contest involves experimenting with and/or influencing the boundaries between the ghost realm and the living realm, this slogan could have something to do with that - the way that Jojo says she “shouldn’t have used [Toynbe]”, which reminds me of the story in the Bible where the Devil tempts Jesus, except Toynbe succumbed to the temptation and “focused too much on the immortality”  - speaking of that line in particular, it also makes me think that Dave and Jojo are the ones ‘in charge’ of whatever game or contest or battle that the two are having, as I mentioned already. But that line, as well as other things, also gives the impression that they are alone in this, like Dave isn’t just one of many angels or a god with loads of angel lackeys to do things for him, and the same goes for Jojo. They do appear to have human ‘lackeys’ to do more basic tasks such as Jojo requesting the cleanup crew and Dave having a company with human employees, but overall the humans are unaware of what is really happening. Whatever thing that these two have with each other, whether they’re friends having a casual game or are on opposing sides and having a serious battle of some kind but are remaining friendly with each other because there isn’t anyone else like them, it definitely feels like these two are pitting against each other alone, with nobody else who really knows what is happening 

Overall, I think the two are some kind of higher entities that are above humanity yet they are still very strongly linked to and woven into the fabric of the Earth and the human race, so like they’re not outsiders to the mechanisms/forces of the planet. They seem more knowledgeable on the ghost realm/afterlife than humanity is, but whether they can actually control/influence it is still a bit of a mystery, like part of their game/contest could be one big experiment with the living realm and the ghost realm. Who knows? Not us, since season 2 isn’t going to be a thing, so I’m just gonna theorise until I die /j

So there ya go, all of my current evidence and thoughts on what the hell is going on with Dave and Jojo. I will probably update this post if I come up with/find any more things to add, probably by reblogging it. Also of course do feel free to reblog and add your own theories! 

[star-whores-a-new-hoe]

Mission Gone Wrong//Obi Wan X Reader

Forever Series:Part Five

Summary: you tagalong with Anakin and Obi Wan in a mission. Also, I Think this is technicly song fic, the song is Warmth by Bastille, it’s a bop! And if anyone wanted to see me do an actual cover with my uke let me know 😅

word count: 2K

Warning:  Innuendos, Swearing, Pining, general cheeseynes, angst, fluff, fighting, ukulele shenanigan,

“Four months and and seven kidnapping attempts!” You grumbled, storming into the large blue apartment. You clutched an ice pack to the new black eye you had revived from the enemy during the attack. “It could be much worse young one. I once protected someone who had seven assassination attempts in a week.” Obi Wan chided as he followed you into the room. You plopped yourself down on the couch and closed your eyes, laying your head on the back of the seat, relishing in the feeling of the cool ice pack against your throbbing eye. “Besides, you made it out much better then he did.” Obi Wan reminded you as he sat down on the opposite couch.

You smiled pleasantly, remembering how you had kicked the enemy’s feet out from under him. A move Obi Wan had been teaching you for a while. “I was pretty awesome, wasn’t I?” “It is not the way of the Jedi to brag.” “Well,” You added, standing up and walking to the bathroom. “I’m not a Jedi.” I beg to differ. He thought to himself as he watched you walk away. You stood in front of the mirror and removed the ice pack from your face. “Ugh, I look pathetic!” You whined staring at your reflection. “Bruises are merely badges of honor.” Obi Wan called from the other room. You winced as you tried to touch the purple skin. “Well then I just received the god damn Presidential medal of freedom!” You shot back. “It could have been much worse y/n. If it weren’t for your training you would most likely be in sepritist hands right now, a black eye is a small price to pay.” You sighed and placed the ice pack down on the bathroom counter before turning to walk back to the couch. noticing the ukulele laying on the couch, You bent down and picked in up. You sat down in the place where it had just been and began to play some chords, not really worrying about the strumming or chord pattern, just enjoying the soothing, random, progression of sound. Obi Wan raised an eyebrow at you. You shrugged. “I find playing calming.” You said answering his unvoiced question. “And I need calm after an attack like that.” “I don’t hear you play very often.” You watched your fingers play a quick picking pattern “I normally do it when I have down time, here by myself.” “Will you play me something?” You paused your playing and looked up at him with great interest. “What do you want to hear?” “Why not something from Earth?” You smiled. “I only know songs from Earth.” There was a still silence as you contemplated what to play. Without a word, you stood up and jogged over to a nearby table, grabbing your capo and placing it on a fret. You started playing before you even sat back down. Never good just the bad and the ugly, Laid in front of you. Nothing quite like seeing the world through the TVs window. Obi Wan stared at you in total awe. Watching you perform was exquisite. The words falling off your tongue and combining with the music to create a wonderful melody was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop thinking about it. Tell me did you see the news last night? Hold me in this wild, wild world. Cause I’m your warmth I forget how cold it can be, And in your heat I feel how cold it can get. So draw me close. You had played this song a million times back home. You knew the pattern and words like the back of your hand. But for some reason, playing it for Obi Wan made it feel really special. So come on let’s forget the emotion, Tie the blinkers on. Hold both hands right over my eyes. Deafen me with music. You let the final note ring out as your playing ceded. You put your uke down in your lap, anxiously awaiting a reaction from Obi Wan. “That… you’re amazing.” You felt your cheeks heat at his complements. “Thanks.” At that moment, the com link on Obi Wan’s belt went off. He got up and walked to the corner of the room. Turning his back to you before he answered it. He talked quickly to the person on the other end in a hushed tone before hanging up and turning back to you. “I’m afraid we are needed at the Jedi temple, Anakin will be meeting us there.” He said, placing his com link back on his belt.

You gently put your instrument down and stood up as well. “Both of us?”

He nodded. “I’m not leaving you alone after that attack.”

You rolled your eyes, too tired to argue with him. “Alright, let's go.”

                                                             ***

“You really don’t need to babysit me!” You said as you walked up the ramp of the ship.

“And Obi Wan can’t disobey a direct order from the jedi council either y/n.” Anakin said as he loaded the ship with supplies.

Obi Wan walked past the two of you, making his way towards the pilots seat of the small space craft. “The jedi order is spread far too thin. There are no other jedi on Coruscant to protect you. This should be an easy mission for Anakin and I, all you have to do is stay on the ship.”

“It’s not the fact that I have to come with you that I’m upset about.” You said, marveling at all the strange, alien tech that adorned the ship. “It’s the fact that you don’t trust me to look after myself.”

Anakin reached past you to fumble with some knobs and switches. “It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s that he’s worried about you.” You couldn’t help but feel touched by the fact that Obi Wan worried about you.

Sighing, you said. “At least I get to go to another planet. I must be the only person from Earth to have been to three different planets!”

“Thats it!” Anakin said reassuringly. “Look on the bright side. Oh, and nice black eye by the way.” he smirked.

“Hey! I may look like a burnt chicken nugget, but I still love myself!”

Anakin chuckled and shook his head. “It must be so hard to make so little sense all the time.”

You frowned. “Yeah, people on Earth didn’t get my obscure pop culture references either. I’m used to it.”

You paused and bit your lip, unsure of how to phrase your question. “Hey Ani?” He hummed in response. “I was wondering, I heard this this and I wasn't sure if it was true or not, I was hoping you could tell me?”

“Ok...” He said as he tinkered with a switch panel.

“Well,” you looked down and fidgeted with your fingers. “Are the jedi celibate?”

He stopped what he was doing and smiled at you in a teasing sort of way. “Why do you want to know?”

“Not reason, just...curious.” You could feel your face begin to heat with embarrassment.

“It’s not exactly celibacy, it’s attachments that are frowned upon. Friendships are tolerated by the council but romantic relationships are not allowed. We are still allowed to-”

“get some booty?” You suggested.

“Um, sure. But it’s more like one night stands and stuff.”

You glanced over at Obi Wan who was sitting in the pilot’s seat with longing in your eyes. “That must be really hard.”

Anakin followed your gaze. “Extremely.”

“Are we all ready Anakin?” Obi Wan called from over his shoulder.

“All set!”

You sat yourself down near a window. You were unable to contain the butterflies of nervousness in your stomach, from the excitement of the prospect of getting to travel through space.

The doors of the ship closed and the ship began to move, taking off into the busy Coruscant sky. You watched from your window as the large city grew smaller beneath you and as the sky grew darker.

When the ship finally made it all the way into space, all you could do was sit there breathless, marveling at the beauty of empty space. Somewhere in the back of your mind you heard Obi Wan tell Anakin to take the wheel.

You were so awe struck by how magnificent the view of the stars was, that you barely registered the footsteps approaching you.

“Enjoying the view?”

You nodded slightly in a dazed sort of way. “On Earth space travel is still very complicated and only a recent discovery. Every little kid dreams of being able to see the stars up close. I never imagined that I would so lucky.”

Anakin yelled from the front. “Approaching hyperspace!”

Obi Wan smiled at your bewilderment. “Then you are going to really enjoy this.”

Suddenly, the ship sped up. The night sky transformed into a beautiful light blue tunnel and the stars into thin white streaks.

Your face grew into a wide smile as you stared out the window. Obi Wan admired how the blue light illuminated your features, how you watched with such astonishment at something he thought of as so mundane. You looked simply angelic.

“Approaching our destination!” Anakin called after  few minutes, ruining the peaceful moment.

You turned from the window to face Obi Wan. “Where are we going again?”

“There was simply a skirmish with some droids, a senator got captured. It should be a very quick mission. We will leave the ship in a secluded area and you should be perfectly safe.”

Out the window, you could make out the distant shape of a s lush, green planet. Obi Wan started to grab weapons and supplies from the shelves of the ship as the ground came closer.

“You have your blaster.” He continued. “And there is some food on the ship.”

“Plus we all have our com links in case anything happens.” Anakin chimed in.

The ship landed in a green clearing surrounded by large trees on all sides. The sun shone through the canopy of leaves, tinting the area with a soft green glow. When the doors opened, you ran out of the ship into the clearing.

“Y/n what are you doing?” Obi Wan called from behind you, confused.

“I just want to do something real quick!” You shot back. Obi Wan watched with curiosity as you slipped off your shoes and stood in the middle of the green space.

You closed your eyes and grinned. “This is incredible! A different sun shining on me, a different ground beneath my feet.” You said as you jumped up and down on the soft grass.

“It loses some of its magic when you’ve been to so many planets.”

You shook your. “I won’t ever get tired of this.” Your smile gadded slightly and you said softly. “My family would never believe this.”

Anakin walked out from the pilots area and put a hand on Obi Wan’s shoulder.

“We should be going, y/n you-”

“I know.” You sighed, Enjoying the new planet for just another moment before grabbing your shoes and turning to go back to the ship.

“We’ll see you soon.” Obi Wan said, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Good luck.” You said, watching them walk off into the jungle before closing the door to the ship.

                                                               ***

Night had fallen over the jungle planet. You sat in the pilot’s seat of the ship with your feet on the dash. Half asleep and curled up in Obi Wan’s jedi cloak that he’d left behind, as the night had grown cold. You loved how warm and safe it made you feel, and how it carried the smell of him. You were awoken from your sleepy state by the buzz of the com link on your hip.

Startled, you quickly reached over and answered it. You were met by a fuzzy picture of Anakin.

“Y/n!” He yelled. The picture was not great and the sound kept breaking up, but you were able to make of the sounds of fighting in the background. 

“Trap...Captured! Sending coordinates...help...trust you.”

“I’ll call the other jedi!” You said.

“No time...kill us...hurry.” The picture went dead. You jumped to your feet and grabbed your blaster. It was up to you to save the jedi.

Tag List: @theatreandtessa​ @whovianayesha​ @fangirl-on-bitches​

[xaidyl]

You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting 

Actual parent:Brennan 

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie 

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter. 

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him. 

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario. 

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting. 

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him. 

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful. 

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone. 

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running  

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table. 

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast. 

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud. 

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap 

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing? 

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop. 

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense. 

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying. 

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through. 

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51. 

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times. 

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere. 

5. Stabbing 

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party. 

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left. 

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices. 

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow. 

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy. 

[autumnblogs]

Day 11: Melodrama

WIth Act 4 over, we’ve finished setting up the pins on the Earth Side of this story. We are now roughly one quarter of the way through the full story - and Homestuck is set up more or less in four acts, rather than in six acts as its “official” structure would suggest.

Time to start setting up the pins on the other disc.

https://homestuck.com/story/1942

But first, some more of Andrew’s prose to detail the fallout of the Sovereign Slayer’s activity. He’s been a busy man.

Also, Rose goes off the rails, but we knew that already.

This is the part of the story where Rose becomes an antagonist, in my opinion. More on that later. More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/1955

A letter from another version of Earth.

One of the very first things that we learn about Jake is that one of his all time favorite movies is Weekend at Bernie’s, an association that is part of a long list of red-herrings that link Jake up with Lord English, but of which nothing ultimately comes. It’s an association mostly because Bernie is a corpse who is also a puppet (like Doc Scratch, for example).

All that has already been pointed out by a lot of people before me, so moving on.

https://homestuck.com/story/1957

Just missed her.

https://homestuck.com/story/1993

Act 5 off to a great start, and while Karkat is in many ways a parallel to John (via their shared interests), right away, this action compares Karkat to Dave. Their reaction to being misnamed by the command prompt is pretty much identical.

https://homestuck.com/story/1994

Like I said, Karkat is pretty much immediately compared to John in terms of their shared interests, what with his Terrible Taste in Movies and his Amateur Coding.

One thing that stands out as endearing to me that I’ve probably not thought so much about before is Karkat’s practicing with his Sickle in his room. It reminds me of lightsaber wielding kids on early youtube.

https://homestuck.com/story/1995

So let’s break this and the next few pages down. Viewing the narration through the same James-Joycesque lens of “Narration is more or less identical with the characters’ thought processes,” that we have been so far, Karkat seems pretty ambivalent about existing as a troll, going as far as to describe his bad dreams as *terrible.*

Do all Trolls have dreams as bad as Karkat does? Is it a chucklevoodoos thing? Maybe it’s specifically a Karkat thing.

https://homestuck.com/story/1996

Karkat gets distracted instantly by intrusive thoughts and does something else that’s very Johnlike.

https://homestuck.com/story/1998

Aw c’mon. Early Sandler isn’t even that bad. Then again, it’s been a while since I’ve watched this one, maybe it’s worse than I remember it.

https://homestuck.com/story/1999

This section of the story is even more time-agnostic than the rest of the story, and a lot of it is told in past tense prospective action, which says to me that what we’re experiencing here is the various trolls on the meteor at the End of Act 4 collectively remembering what has taken place in the past, while the parts of this segment that are narrated in the present tense are being relayed to us via the characters in the narrative present (which is to say, the events which are being relayed to us in the panel.)

https://homestuck.com/story/2008

I wonder if Troll Will Smith is a Troll Scientologist?

https://homestuck.com/story/2010

I didn’t like the Trolls very much originally. They’re so ornery and pissy with each other all the time, with the exception of Gamzee and Tavros, but on a reread, especially keeping the things in mind that I’m keeping in mind, all of these characters are a lot more tolerable.

Using the cipher that we’ve established from reading the characters as basically attempting to perform what is culturally expected of them in the first four acts, we can immediately decode what is going on between Karkat and his friends - they are trying to be the best trolls they can be, or at least, live up to certain ideals/stereotypes the way that Dave tries to live up to the stereotype of the coolguy, or John emulates the mangrit and fatherliness and so on of his father figures.

But something is way *way* more wrong with Alternia’s role models than Earth’s.

That’s all from a Watsonian perspective. From a Doylist perspective, there are very explicit stereotypes each of these characters is designed around - commonplace annoying internet people from the ‘00s (pronounce that as Naughts).

https://homestuck.com/story/2012

There’s a lot of early installment weirdness in the first bits of Troll Stuff we get where it’s clear that Andrew was riffing and trying to find clear definitions for their relationships - it’s somewhat poorly known these days, I think, but Andrew has said in the past that he hates worldbuilding, and it kind of shows. (Did I mention that Kanaya Sollux friendship back when those two were interacting not long ago? That’s another one of those bits of early installment weirdness).

Anyway, the actual bit of early installment weirdness that I’m drawing attention to is the fact that the Subjugglators are described as being an Obscure Cult here, but later Homestuck Media (and even stuff within Homestuck, honestly) will make them out to be basically the only major aspect of being a Purple Blood.

https://homestuck.com/story/2013

Gamzee’s ignorance and his bliss are pretty much immediately linked to one another.

That said, I’m not going to dive too deep into Gamzee’s inner life. Like a lot of the trolls, in spite of his great relevance, he’s a bit of a joke character, and the joke is on us - whatever is going on inside this lad’s head is a puzzle for most of the comic.

Gamzee has a Freudian excuse in the form of his absent Lusus, which incidentally, is a parallel to Jade - the Nurture is the same, but the Nature is very differently. Unfortunately, when God was handing out Natures, he gave Gamzee one of the really bad ones, so he’s a worthless goddamn piece of shit.

https://homestuck.com/story/2024

Already into the first few troll conversations, and we’re setting up some stuff for later. Gamzee and Terezi’s very first conversation demonstrates the terrible chemistry that the two have together - Gamzee legitimately unsettles Terezi, and there’s just nothing at all she can do to bother him.

https://homestuck.com/story/2025

Sollux is probably so handy with this coding language because of his ability to hear the voices of the imminently deceased - so he can write programs that will execute along a pretty reasonable time frame.

https://homestuck.com/story/2027

Leader is a phrase that ends up being used in conjunction with Karkat a lot, and the concept of leadership is another one of those things that Homestuck Talks About but not a thing that Homestuck Is About, at least in the sense that leadership as a role is part of the comic’s broader commentary on cultural reproduction, the same way that Homestuck’s conversation about gender is, or Homestuck’s conversation about Roles in general.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Karkat wants to be a leader.

As long as Sollux is making his first appearance as a character, I want to take a second to say that as a character, he’s always been pretty tough and enigmatic for me to write, especially in the sense that he‘s frequently referred to melodramatic and sensitive or similar terms by people around him, but he actually doesn’t really seem that way in most cases - he just seems like a guy who wants to his own devices, and is generally pretty non-reactive to other peoples’ bullshit. Maybe he’s melodramatic in the way that Dave is, hyping himself up as a coolguy who is the best there is, but then again, Sollux kind of lives up to his own hype, considering that up until the last possible moment, he wins pretty much every fight he’s in handily, adapts Sburb personally, and has more romantic success than just about everyone else in the comic.

Maybe Karkat’s just projecting.

https://homestuck.com/story/2031

Roleplaying - a concept that I’ve used frequently to refer to the way that John and his chums perform rituals in order to relate to their culture and parents - is made explicit through the language of Flarping, which for the Trolls, serves as a way for them to literally act out the adventures of their long-dead ancestors, although it strikes me that it’s probably a lot more gainful for highbloods like Terezi and Vriska than it is in general for lowbloods like Aradia and Tavros.

I’ll get this out of the way up front instead of commenting it on a drip feed throughout Terezi’s upcoming courtblock roleplay - Terezi is the kind of kid who aspires to be a Cop. Or a lawyer, anyway, which in Alternian Law, is the same thing as a cop. In the wake of 2020′s scads of police brutality, and in general, having grown up into a nasty commie, it’s kind of hard to look at Terezi the same way.

While it’s clear that Terezi is remorseful later on toward her earlier attitudes and behaviors, Terezi is at least ambivalent, and at worst a purely antagonistic force throughout a lot of early Homestuck because of her authoritarian tendencies and her honestly pretty psychopathic behavior. She plays games with her friends’ lives.

https://homestuck.com/story/2047

Terezi adores having power over other people and making them helpless. For Terezi, alienation takes the form of emotional distance from the people that she’s tormenting. It makes it so much easier for her to conceive of them as wicked people who need to die.

https://homestuck.com/story/2055

Nepeta is an adorable girl who deserves all the good things. All of them.

That said, as long as we’re commentating and not glurging, Nepeta’s internet troll stereotype is probably less familiar these days, and I say probably less, but I can’t say for sure - it’s like this really specific thing that existed during the late ‘00s, where you had this highly specific stereotype, which I’ll call the Furry Artist Roleplayer, and I really hope that I’m not talking out of my ass by generalizing anecodtal evidence, but I know people who were pretty much exactly the Nepeta stereotype around the time that Act 5 was being written! Roleplaying in IRCs or on specialty forums with other people, all drawing art of their anthro OCs and writing stories about each other’s characters. That sort of thing still probably exists these days, but if it does, I’m not really part of any communities anymore where it leaks into the mainstream.

https://homestuck.com/story/2058

Okay, yup, Karkat is 100% projecting “Melodrama” on all the people around him. In a literal sense, Melodrama refers to theatrics that are exaggerated and sensationalized in such a way as to appeal to the emotions, often prioritizing spectacle and physical action over deep characterization.

Actually, if we’re taking it in the literal sense of the word, just about every character in Homestuck is pretty melodramatic - I keep talking about the way that they roleplay rituals and associate with symbols even when they fail to structures of power and culture that those rituals and symbols point to - performative participation without any actual substance. That’s practically the definition of Melodrama.

But Karkat is, perhaps, the most Melodramatic of all.

https://homestuck.com/story/2065

Aradia is one of my favorite characters in Homestuck, and possibly my favorite, something I can be up front about.

Our introduction to her is brief, and right out of the gate one thing about her is apparent - her relationship with destruction is central to her characterization.

https://homestuck.com/story/2069

While I was going to wait for the Hemospectrum to come up explicitly, now’s as good a time as any to talk about the fact that Andrew uses Troll society to comment on hierarchy a lot - hierarchy of just all kinds. Ageism is one of those, and Gerontocracy in particular in Alternia. In Alternia, just one of the ways that the oppression of the Hemospectrum manifests is the way that the Empire systematically takes advantage of its children by basically leaving them completely to their own devices. Trolls don’t have family units normally, but the fact that Troll adults are all offworld is not a “natural” part of Troll Society, it’s a decision. And while it’s a decision made by the Empress, it’s still one that, to some extent, benefits adult trolls at the expense of the children, since they’re not around spending energy on raising kids who are expected to raise themselves from the word go.

It’s honestly pretty late, and I’m tuckered out because of the steroids that I’m on, and the cough medicine, so in spite of the comparatively pretty short amount of reading I’ve done tonight, I’m going to call it here.

Cam signing off, Alive and a little High.

[wendell-or-something]

it is time.

I want to compile a more complete rundown of my thoughts about homestuck 2. I want all the stuff in my head to be in one place, and I know this is going to be incredibly long winded and I don’t care. I want to be honest... I want to understand why I don't like this media. on more than a "but of course" level because there are a lot of people who have it as a gut reaction that this stuff isn't right. but I think there are layers to what produces that. I wanna get in depth with this. so that's what I'm gonna attempt to do.

okay, so, the first thing I think I wanna say is a disclaimer. I have not actually read the epilogues. or homestuck 2. I have a peripheral knowledge of what happens in them because, as a concerned citizen, I poked around enough to pick up details and know that I wouldn't enjoy this media if I fully engaged with it. my assessment of the material may be flawed because of this, but I mean... if the things I've heard about the epilogues deterred me from reading it, then I guess that's what I'm analyzing? not only what I understand based on my limited knowledge, but also why it is so limited to begin with. why this media is such a huge deterrent to so many people who care so much about homestuck. ultimately, this is not to shame people who like this media... I will be addressing common takes I've heard from people who defend the epilogues, but I'm not singling anyone out, and anyone who reads this has a right to disagree, or better yet, ignore me and find enjoyment where you are able, even if I cannot. I will not begrudge you that. additionally, I am considering the epilogues and homestuck 2 to be one unit. not necessarily in terms of structure, but because the events of one lead directly into the events of the other, and the two have similar issues. I think I'll shorthand the combination of the two as EP/HS2 for simplicity, and refer to either individually if I have something specific to say about one or the other.

I think the main problem that people have with EP/HS2 is that it's depressing. and it's depressing for a myriad of different reasons, but I'll get to those in a minute. first I want to establish why them being depressing doesn't work for so many people. I feel like this should be examined first, because a lot of the supporters of EP/HS2 are viewing the complaints against it as over sensitivity from fans who only liked the comic for its lighter elements. I keep seeing a "y'all just wanted your rainbow cotton candy fluff ending" kind of sentiment going around. and like... you are right that this isn't a fluff ending. but I think it's unfair to treat the particular type of content that EP/HS2 brought to the table as the only kind of substantial, fulfilling narrative that we could've asked for.

and I think a lot of the dissonance that people see between homestuck and EP/HS2 is based in the ratio of tension to levity, and how far it's shifted toward pure tension... especially because, at the end of homestuck, all the outside threats to this group of friends have already been resolved. and yet, shit feels leagues more catastrophically bad during the epilogues than it did during the comic when the characters were actually under attack, which is super weird when you think about it. I mean, "epilogues" my ass, am I right? it is true that homestuck was never 100% sunshine and rainbows... in fact, some of the darker events that it brought to the table became some of the most hyped shit in the comic. murderstuck is mostly what I'm thinking of first in terms of this, but there was a lot of popular angst laden content within homestuck that the fans latched onto. the thing is, the fans also latched onto the content that was super goofy, and the fan works that you can still find online from the era of homestuck's initial popularity reflect both sides of its tone in equal measure. there was a huge amount of goofy fan content (octopimp's youtube channel is still a record of that, and that wasn't even the half of it). and there was a huge amount of angsty content, and there was a huge amount of heartfelt content... turns out, homestuck had broad appeal, and spoke to different people in different ways. and back then, I never really felt like the goofy stuff was being treated as any less important than the heavy stuff. it wasn't brushed off just because it was seen as lighthearted. people liked to laugh, and I fully believe that Andrew Hussie began doing homestuck as a fun activity.

the reason why I bring this up is because homestuck as a piece of media could beget all of these various takes. the fan works could be tonally dissonant when held side by side with each other, but when held against the parts of the comic that inspired them, they made perfect sense. homestuck could spawn jokes, and angst, and social commentary, and theories... and even extrapolation on canonical events, in ways both silly and serious. and when you look at the kind of content that the fans produced during homestuck's height, you see what was important to them. they put time and effort into crafting even their dumbest meme shit. the fans reflected what the comic gave to them. and humor and heart were among the most beloved core engagements that the comic provided... these were pillars on which a lot of fan enjoyment rested... you really can't begrudge a person their fun.

and treating darkness and angst as the sole indicator of maturity in a work seems misguided to me. because, speaking personally for a moment here, one of the biggest lessons I had to teach myself when I was growing up was how not to wallow in negative emotions. how to find the fun, sometimes rather aggressively, so that you don't just drown. and with EP/HS2, it feels like at every turn, readers are constantly grasping for something nice or fun to keep them afloat in all this heavy stuff, and either they come to accept mere scraps of positivity, or everything they reach for is eventually dissolved as well. and I think the character of a piece of media as a whole can sometimes tell you what level of maturity it's operating under. like, if the text lingers over making the characters miserable, or seems to revel in shooting holes in people's positive interpretations of these people, you have to kind of wonder if this is serving the narrative, or just producing author schadenfreude when they release what amounts to shock content.

it almost feels like a twisting of the way homestuck used to treat the fans, because during it's run, homestuck was very reactive towards the fanbase. this kind of canon responsiveness to the readers was baked into homestuck from the very beginning, back when Hussie was accepting reader suggestions for what John Egbert should do. and need I remind everyone that the trolls were made as parodies of different types of personalities that were common to find online during homestuck's era? they are internet trolls, who are actually an alien race known as trolls, who communicate primarily online, and whose culture and species developed to produce an ornery and antagonistic population, so like... it's trolls all the way down. that's the whole joke. but the real, valuable benefit of parodying your fans with your characters, is that when the trolls act, they reflect the way real people acted. which means that when, say, Nepeta shoehorns RP lingo into casual conversation, some people will be like "it me!" and some people will laugh/cringe because they've seen people actually talk like that, and some people will be like "aww, that used to be me!" and every time a character produces this sense of identification with the audience, it works to create familiarity, and eventually, a sense of fondness.

that fondness is fucking powerful.

that fondness is born out of recognition and empathy, no matter which character you feel it for, and when a giant community of people loves a character that you have seen yourself reflected in so clearly, that is an incredibly validating experience. especially when you’re young, and the pieces of yourself that you saw were some of the nerdiest, weirdest, most awkward parts of you. a very large community of people loves a character that is like you, even, or perhaps especially, because of the flawed parts. and of course these characters were meant to tease the fans a little... these characters were also jokes to some extent the whole time. but they were never seen as cruel or insulting, because these characters were also important. the story literally built whole worlds around their identities... these kids altered universes. and they were allowed to be that important and special without being perfect first. they were dumb, and awkward, and nerdy, and cringey, and allowed to be there anyway. they were you, and you were important.

and this is where I think that EP/HS2 really misses the point. because in homestuck, the characters experienced hardship, but that hardship went on to fuel an overall sense of accomplishment when it was overcome. the road might be long, and it might be tough, and you might face shit that you don't feel prepared for, but when triumph is achieved, it feels that much more earned. and that is a key phrase I want everyone to remember homestuck for:

triumph.

it's the feeling that cascade gave me. it is the highest of heights that this whole thing reached. and it really has so much to do with how homestuck had built itself up until that point. we were mired in the minutiae of these kids' lives. we read their every chat log. we saw them dicking around doing next to nothing. we saw them contact each other and talk to each other for basically no reason other than to catch up. we saw them sharing stupid memes, and yelling at each other for wasting time on pointless bullshit, and dunking on each other's shitty taste in media... every one of them was "you" at some point. "you captchaloged this" or "you decided to do that" and it made a subtle connection in your brain that convinced you to feel things with them and accept what they "decided" as something that you had done alongside them. in some small way, you did homestuck. and this notion was further supported by how much of what the fans were doing would make its way back into what the comic was doing. the comic and the fans existed in a kind of symbiosis, and that fed into the feeling of connection that the fans had with this particular story. this thing was alive, and it moved in tandem with the community.

so when something big like cascade happened, you were right there with them. you were deep in the center of it. and you wanted to be, because this was your payoff. you did the work with these kids... you put in the time. and the triumph was yours too.

this is why EP/HS2 shouldn't be depressing. the core of the story was triumph against all odds. to take the triumph that was earned over the course of the whole story, and ruin it for the sake of generating angst... it misses the point. I did not read all 8000+ pages of homestuck multiple times because I wanted a tragedy. if I wanted tragedy, I would choose a different story. of course a lot of fans would have trouble liking EP/HS2... this wasn't what they signed up for. it pulls the rug out from under the fans of the original comic by pulling a mean genre bait and switch. why would people who liked a story like homestuck want a story like this? and I mean, obviously some people were okay with this. some people like EP/HS2. but you have to admit that it is an entirely different thing than what homestuck was.

I’ve heard some folks try to compare the darker parts of EP/HS2 to the darker parts of homestuck, and this is why they aren't the same. the darkness performs different functions in each story. in homestuck, it contrasts the lighter parts and creates a reason to keep everyone moving. in EP/HS2, it is the whole darn thing. the story is simply woven from it to begin with. I have heard some people say that they think of EP/HS2 as cathartic... as a reflection of life when things are painful or hard. but I think we really need to remember what catharsis is. catharsis doesn’t begin and end with pain. catharsis has to do something with that pain, or it’s just pain for pain’s sake. and the further I look into EP/HS2, the more I feel like the story is just playing it straight as a tragedy... though sometimes I wonder if it knows this.

so let's pull apart the tragedy of EP/HS2. because while I don’t really enjoy tragedies, (hence why I liked homestuck, and didn’t like EP/HS2... they are opposites in this sense), I still understand how tragedies work. catharsis can be part of it... to see something sad happen, and relate to that sadness, and feel a deep emotion... that does make sense. but the line between catharsis and just plain agitation is whether or not the pain actually provides you with a sense of relief. if the story leaves the character stuck in a bad emotional place, you feel stuck too... unable to confront the emotional burden that the story has saddled you with in a satisfying way, because it isn't even your own. in real life, when you are hurt, at least you have the ability to do whatever you need for yourself, in order to eventually feel better. I have grieved before, and somehow found it in me to laugh again since. but in stories, you rely on the author to construct the characters' response to bad events, and if things just go from bad to worse, sometimes with little resistance, the audience is eventually going to feel really agitated by the lack of relief. even stories that end in death provide catharsis due to the finality of it. the life ends, and provides a sense of closure. but EP/HS2 doesn’t give you an out. it just keeps driving many of the characters into more and more mundanely uncomfortable and dissatisfying lives, or turns them into people we would rather not know or read about.... which feels like a loss to the reader, even though the character is right there. at that point, the character's presence only makes you feel worse because they used to be someone you liked, but now they're just a reminder of your disappointment. and this level of your emotional discomfort isn't even something that the narrative will address, because it's just a side effect of how things are going. it isn't poetic, and there is no real comfort given to lighten that load... it's just unpleasant.

and on a more technical level, I would like to point out that stories create a kind of transaction between author and reader. and once you understand the status quo between you and a particular author, you can gauge the level of investment you feel safe putting in the characters. at their core, it stands to reason that stories should require conflict to be interesting. but in order to stay interesting, they also need to give us a reason to care about the conflict. in homestuck, I felt like the story set up a status quo in which we felt comfortable caring about certain characters, because we subtly trusted that the author wasn't wasting our time or jerking us around. like, you knew that a lot of crazy shit was on the table, but it felt like the story was growing, the author was interested in that growth, and thus he would not kill it. even if you couldn't begin to guess what was gonna happen next, you at least didn't have to worry about the author hugely ruining things that you liked about the story. he seemed like he liked those things too. we were all on the same page in that regard.

this is where character investment was very important to homestuck... the readers needed something to hang on to, or they'd lose interest in what was going on, and in homestuck specifically, the thing that kept us hanging on, was our love for these characters, and our wish to see them prevail against the odds. we were hoping for a satisfying ending, and interested in how we'd get there. and by now, I think homestuck fans in particular are very determined to stick to the characters by nature. if we weren't, then we would've been bored out of reading the comic in the first place back in act 1, when the most exciting thing that had happened was John going through his house and finding his dad in the kitchen. if you don't love John at least a little, you won't want to keep reading about him picking up items and describing them to you for a whole chapter, with not but the entertainment value of his character's particular perspective and voice to sustain you.

obviously, character investment isn't always a story's draw... but it was definitely homestuck’s. and even giving EP/HS2 the benefit of the doubt... let's say we're just judging it on the merits of being a tragic story. there are many levels of engagement that a story can hit, and in a lot of tragedies, the interest comes from the machinations of the plot. you already know it's going to end sadly, but you have the ability to process the sadness (a negative emotional experience and potential reader deterrent) while still maintaining interest, because you want to know how it will happen. it is unfortunate then, that EP/HS2 isn't a stand alone story, independent from homestuck itself. because if you tell a homestuck fan that the story will now only end in sadness, they likely won't want to know how it happens. because they already decided to like and relate to these characters, and wish for their happiness. they were taught it was okay to hope for that, based on the way the story used to be. basically, one of the essential appeals of homestuck (character investment) is actively working against the core appeal of a tragedy (understanding how sad events came to pass) because homestuck's appeal worked so well to begin with. it's basically nonsensical to try and jump track from one to the other, because the reader is much more likely to fall off the wagon entirely, and ignore your story in order to preserve their enjoyment of the story they already consumed.

but to get way more blunt about this... homestuck was good, and ruining what it left us with was unpopular for obvious reasons. fans were successfully invested in the story, the final triumphant payoff was a satisfying way to cap the narrative, and honestly... I think homestuck probably should've just stopped while the vibes were good. people were satiated. they were sad that it was over, but the sadness came from fondness, and that just sort of felt appropriate. we had it so good.

the transaction between author and reader was stable at that point. we had conflict. we had a reason to care. we got a resolution. there was a level of trust established, and honored... we trusted that there was a rhythm to the story. a push and pull between the kind of threat that would necessitate action from our heroes, and the ability of the characters to overcome the conflict well enough that we'd be left with something satisfying in the end. this trust no longer exists in EP/HS2. the epilogues broke it, and homestuck 2 has failed to repair it because, to be honest, it was already too badly damaged. it would take a full retcon to actually bring that back after the epilogues, but then it uh... screwed the pooch all over again. sorry, that was insensitive.

anyway. so like... what about the particulars of the story's content? I mean... I know I'm dissatisfied because a lot of the characters have been blatantly destroyed. Dirk will be my example for this bit, I mean, just look at him. in one epilogue route he commits suicide, and by making Ult. Dirk a thing, they effectively unestablished the identity of Dirk as he was in homestuck. and my limited knowledge of the epilogues doesn't allow me to really know about this, but was there even any acknowledgement of how death works in homestuck? Dirk must've known that if he killed himself, he'd end up as a ghost out in the dream bubbles. that is still a thing, right? Dave could've gone looking for him. considering Dirk's pesterquest route, he should've wanted to. and see, there's an example of what might've approached catharsis in a situation like that... pain, but also a human person dealing with that pain in a way that feels like fulfillment. but as far as I've heard, the story didn't go there? so it's just pain for pain's sake... or maybe just a bid to get rid of the more complex version of his character and replace him with an anime villain. and the method doesn't even make any sense, like, Dirk is the last character that would ever commit suicide because, by his own canonical words, he is scared to not exist. he literally couldn't bring himself to destroy the AR because of this, in spite of having every technical and emotional reason to want to. this is a major pain point for him, and I know it's typical to think of someone with self hatred wanting to kill themselves, but Dirk is a particularly different case. he should not be shoved into such an ill fitting generic narrative for shock value.

and beyond that, let's say you're someone who identified with Dirk. let's say that when homestuck said "you are now Dirk Strider" you were like "oh fuck I kinda am tho" and you were invested in him ever since. let's say that the points of investment you felt with him were in his troubles with self loathing, his fear of not existing, or his trouble communicating his true feelings to others. this is a rather dismal end for Dirk to have come to... and a rather dismal story for you to read if you still relate to this character. if you're coming off the end of homestuck still securely relating to him as heavily as you did when he was allowed to triumph, how fucking bad is it gonna feel to see him so thoroughly obliterated? to whiplash so hard from a perceived success to such abject failure is just mean. this story is so mean now, like, everyone's got the bug it seems.

and not only do several characters perish (literally, or by being mismanaged) for cheap drama in EP/HS2, but some just turn into shitty people? like, Rose recently revealed that she cheated on Kanaya. I simply hate the idea that Rose would grow up to be the type of person who would do that. I remember Rose in acts 1 through 5 being the kind of person who had misguided ideas about what course of action she thought would be effective. she would make some pretty big decisions, and act on destructive impulses, often in spite of what her friends thought was safe. in essence, I can see where the authors of homestuck 2 would get the idea of Rose going off and doing big shit without telling people. but this ignores why she was so determined to do any of that stuff in the first place... Rose was just as invested in protecting the people she cared about as anyone. and besides that, I thought her arc in those early acts had taught her something about that approach? I thought she got closer to people, to the point where they could voice a concern and she'd listen.

in regards to her relationship with Kanaya in particular, there's a huge difference between knowing someone for a day at the age of 13, and spending 3 more years getting to know and love that person before deciding to marry them. so even if this was the reflection of a quality that Rose had back then, I thought she grew past it... she had ample time and opportunity... we even watched her get better about this sort of thing. literally this rolls back her character development to when she was a child, and makes her a shitty adult. and if I’m being really scathing here, I might as well say that this feels like an example of that thing that stories sometimes do, where they only care about a relationship while the characters are struggling to get together. and then once they are together, it timeskips past their relationship being functional and lands you at a point where they're experiencing turbulence. at which point it leverages their relationship trouble for drama, rather than letting the two function well as a unit against an outside threat of some kind. like, no happy couples exist in fiction! gotta wring your conflict out of the fact that they’re falling apart! it feels like they’re being exploited by the writers.

and worst of all... this betrayal of trust by Rose either ruins Rose and Kanaya's marriage, or makes Kanaya seem like a fool. I keep thinking back to their time on the meteor, when Rose asked if Kanaya was breaking up with her because they finally reached that tipping point where Rose's drinking had to be acknowledged as a problem. and Kanaya said that no, she wasn't breaking up with her, and stuck with Rose because she was dedicated to loving her even if that meant helping her with a serious problem. that was such a strong character moment for Kanaya. it displayed her loyalty and dedication to Rose, but also a nuanced understanding of when a problem can actually be solved by dedicated effort. having her be so committed to staying with Rose in spite of Rose's transgressions is like a perversion of those positive qualities. now it just feels like Kanaya is irrationally willing to put up with anything from Rose, no matter how egregious. it takes a trait that was so nice about Kanaya, and uses it in such an upsetting way... and honestly, there was no reason to do that.

but this is a huge problem with EP/HS2... there's like, juuuuuust enough of a through line for people to think that it makes sense. so when I try to say that the characters are just better people than this, and that they're smart enough to do the most basic fundamental things to prevent pain in people that they care about... when I say I believe in the integrity of these characters, I could very well get someone adamantly insisting that I was just being naive. that sometimes, in reality, people disappoint you. what can I even do about that, without sounding like I'm in denial, or like I'm only interested in liking these characters when all their rough spots are smoothed away? how can I begin to articulate that these aren't decisions being made by the characters... they're decisions being made by authors who I don't trust for exactly this reason. and I very especially hate this because just... no! I know what these characters' flaws actually were! and what their strengths were! I had a solid read on their identity, because homestuck was so friggin good at establishing that! I know that a huge part of Rose coming into her own was learning how to cut all the snarky passive aggressive sarcasm and just be honest about her feelings... something that she actually advocated for when talking to Dave, but also had to learn to do herself. the logical escalation of Rose’s character would be a trend toward more openness... but also, just in general, Rose never had a kindness problem. like, I guess that’s the biggest thing I have an issue with. Rose was never this unkind.

it just feels like the writers want us to believe that not only was Kanaya played for a fool, but we were as well. we thought Rose was better than this. we thought we were better judges of character than this. and honestly... we were! the writing was not on the wall about this development. but that just doesn't mean anything because EP/HS2 said that it happened.

and this also harms the relatability of Rose for the people who used to identify with her. I'm not saying she has to be perfect... obviously, characters can and should be flawed. and characters can have flaws that you don't perfectly relate to the specifics of. Rose developed a drinking problem at a young age, which a few people might've related to, but it's very specific. but if you broaden the implications of that in the context of a story... a ton of people will be able to relate to the concept of developing an unhealthy coping mechanism, or doing something you don't really enjoy just to relate to a relative who has been distant to you for whatever reason, or even just having a complicated relationship with a parent. so what if you apply this kind of broadened meaning to Rose's cheating? the idea that she is not trustworthy. that she hides major, life altering information from people who are very close to her and should've been told. that she doesn't trust her partner, and would rather sneak around and hide this for years, rather than either letting her partner be involved in this part of her life, or accepting that her partner isn't comfortable with this development and respecting that boundary. this sort of thing is really alienating to people who know that they themselves are better than this. and “alienating” is the exact antithesis of what homestuck always was to the people who loved it.

what's especially interesting to me, is that the effects of this alienation actually come through in the way that people talk about EP/HS2 nowadays. I don't know if anyone has noticed this trend yet, but people tend to talk about the events of EP/HS2 as decisions made by writers, rather than decisions made by characters. which is weird, because people didn't do that so much with homestuck. and for this I wanna break out Vriska as an example. a lot of people like Vriska, and a lot of people hate Vriska. she's controversial. but no matter what, people always take Vriska's actions as though they're hers. and if they hate what Vriska does in the story, then they hate Vriska. not Hussie, for writing her that way. not even the vague concept of the narrative. they consider Vriska's actions to actually belong to her and form her identity, which they then pass judgment on, one way or another. Hussie is even a character that canonically exists within homestuck, and nobody ever thought to blame him, in universe, for being the origin of Vriska as a trouble causing entity in the story. compare that with how many times you'll see someone say that they don't like what the EP/HS2 writers have done with Rose, Jade, Jane, etc.... they tend not to actually level blame at the characters themselves. obviously this does vary a lot from person to person, but as a vague trend, I would say that people are starting to detach themselves from the characters, or at least detach the characters from their actions in EP/HS2. and to me it reads as a bit of a defense mechanism. it is a degree of separation that lets these characters keep their integrity, and the potential for positive development that they had when homestuck initially ended. it is a trend that, to me, proves the point that the level of pain for pain's sake in this story is too much. without relief, people disengage. even if they want to keep up with how the characters are doing, they no longer want to buy into the narrative's reality... so they acknowledge the author, and the fact that this is fiction. they remove themselves from the act of being invested. and the more adamantly you see people doing this, the more uncomfortable you can assume it feels for these people to buy into the events of the story and treat them as real.

to jump track to another odd point that I think creates a further barrier between cast and audience... has anyone noticed the age of the main cast's children that we've seen appear so far? all of them seem to be similar to the ages of the beta kids when we first met them. they're teenagers. and that means that, if my knowledge is correct, we kinda skipped a chunk of these people's lives. we never really spent time seeing the original homestuck kids as new parents... we never saw them raising their babies. and I get that this is an odd complaint, but it's an example of the story not growing with its audience. it's missing a huge opportunity, not only to show us this portion of their lives, but to fill in with some major world building when it comes to Earth C. are we supposed to assume that absolutely none of the main cast of homestuck made any new friends on Earth C? did they not explore what kind of culture popped up on this planet? what if one of the main cast had gone out and met someone totally new to befriend or love on this planet? but no... we're strictly only interested in the original cast and their kids, which they only ever had with each other, and nobody is really friends anymore, but nobody has met anyone new either... basically depression and isolation is the only option for these characters if the writers aren't willing to actually let them live in the world they're living in. and besides that, at time of writing, there is one friend of mine from my friend group that is just now planning on getting married. he'll be the first of all of us. and while he and his fiancé want kids pretty quickly once they're settled down, it still hasn't even happened yet. we're in our late 20s. and believe me, I understand the desire to timeskip to when the kids are old enough to be full people, but you have to remember not only that there are other ways to introduce new characters, but also who we're even trying to relate to here. is it the new kids, or their parents? because most of us aren't parents yet, much less the parents of teenagers, but we aren’t teenagers anymore either, and this isn’t framed as their story anyway. how are the majority of homestuck’s older fans represented in EP/HS2?

and when EP/HS2 skips the portion of these characters' lives that we, in real life, are actually living, it subtly hints that a story that would reflect what our lives are like isn't interesting, and tells us that not much good is expected to be waiting in our futures either. and the bigger problem with that is that the writing decisions in EP/HS2 represent the authors' answer to the question: how do we make this interesting? clearly they didn't think that anyone would be satisfied with a nice little romp through the lives these characters might've built. like, a slice of life type of story? or maybe something with a smaller stakes conflict? I dunno why, but my first thought was like... what if Jane ended up actually becoming a detective, and the story just had an intermission-style detour into her solving a case or something? at least a weird, hyper specific detour like that would signal that we care about what she's doing... that'd be fine by me! but they couldn't even give us something that would frame her as a good person... they just treated her like she never got un-possessed by the Condesce, and called it a day. it just feels like these are authors who wouldn't be satisfied with a story that lets the characters be at ease in their private lives. peace is something that is off the table, like, if the characters are living good, satisfying lives, we will never hear about it because apparently that counts as nothing to report.

but also... in the absence of the larger plot machinations that SBURB provided, what was left to create a struggle for these characters to face? it couldn't be Jack Noir, Lord English, the Condesce... those threats all got resolved. and they couldn’t let the characters exist in any facsimile of peace. so the writers needed something to stir things up. and in trying to find a new challenge to drive the story, they dug into the stuff that, in my opinion, should not have been used in this way. they began grasping at character drama, trying to wring conflict out of the deterioration of the relationships between the characters.

but at the same time, they're trying to capture the grandeur of homestuck during its more iconic moments. and okay, this is a pretty far out there speculation, but I've always made this observation about homestuck, and the way it got popularized. early on, fans would get into it with no real idea of how big or ambitious the story was going to be. going into act 1 blind, you wouldn't suspect this comic of being much more than a quirky, funny little weekly strip, set up for the sole purpose of making weird jokes about Nic Cage or Harry Anderson. then you get to the big shit. which in act 1 could just be the meteor destroying John's house. but that's a pretty impressive amount of escalation based on the expectations you had. fast forward to a bigger moment, like the reveal that the trolls' SGRUB session created the human universe, and you're super excited about this. so you tell whoever will listen that they should really read homestuck! and maybe they listen, and they go to page one and... well... they seem kind of unimpressed by the way the comic looks. this is what all the hype was about? and you really wanna sell it to them, so you're like, no, seriously, it gets so much better. and maybe you show them bits like the LOWAS walk around flash game, or maybe [S] make her pay, or something. and they're like, whoa, the comic gets like that? so perhaps they slog through the early acts, or maybe they just skip to the trolls and double back when they're confused enough... but either way, the comic's selling point is now it's climax, not the buildup.

and the problem with viewing the comic this way is that homestuck is both things. proportionally, homestuck is actually way more composed of the tedious little stuff than the grand big stuff. but homestuck was popularized via the grand big stuff, and sometimes I feel like EP/HS2 is attempting to fill itself with big stuff like that, but it isn't doing the legwork right. it's using character drama to fuel itself, but it's also trying to be highly epic in terms of its presentation. the lack of contrast flattens everything out, and as I described earlier, the story no longer has that essential push and pull between the terrorizing forces that threaten the characters/raise the stakes, and the unity and likability of the cast that makes you care about their struggle/gets you invested in seeing the conflict resolved. and I just wanna point out that those little interstitial bits... the ones that are typically viewed as the stuff you have to slog through in order to get to the interesting part? those were our main source of knowledge when it came to the characters. it's how we got invested in them and came to know that we liked or related to them in the first place.

the larger ramifications of this lean away from the little things, while also leaning into character drama to fuel conflict in the plot, leads to the overuse of bombastic character drama. sensationalized character drama. everything is always a huge fucking deal, while also being primarily concerned with the existing characters, rather than any kind of outside threat. so what are the tools? a wedding? a funeral? terminal illness, betrayal, a change in ideology that creates a schism... the loss of identity. all these high drama moments that generate conflict by sacrificing the bonds these characters shared. you know... letting that core piece of investment self destruct. the story is basically eating itself in order to sustain its momentum, but there's basically no point anymore. it's been gutted of the stuff that really mattered.

so why did everything go so badly? why do half of the characters not even like each other anymore? why do we not even like half of them anymore? why did the writers feel the need to dismantle them like this? well, because what else do we have to work with... how do you introduce a new threat to these characters without it being either SBURB all over again, or something entirely different that just makes these characters seem overwhelmingly put upon by the universe, like, more than any other individuals that have ever existed. it's actually a very rudimentary power escalation problem. gotta find that next level of bigger problem to set on everyone.

but do you wanna know what kind of homestuck fan I’ve been since the very beginning? I started reading homestuck 9 years ago. I think I was like 16 or 17? and at first I wasn’t sure how to interact with the comic, so I went to the “about” section of the website. it told me, in a broad sense, what mspaintadventures.com was, as a collection of work, and suggested that I begin by reading problem sleuth. not knowing that it wasn’t part of homestuck, I did just that. I read all of it. before I even got to homestuck. I am a fan that lives for the small, stupid, tedious fucking around. the slow buildup of total bullshit... the complex setup that gives you a million microscopic payoffs on it’s way to god knows what end goal. it’s like watching an explosion in reverse. all the tiny little pieces fly chaotically together and coalesce into a whole story, and you got to watch it build itself, piece by tiny little piece. I live and breathe for that level of detail. and the most fun I ever had with the story was when the characters were wandering around an environment, exploring and using various objects to set up these wacky chain reactions, half of which you’d never see coming, but which would all retroactively make sense in the end.

what I’m saying is that small scale conflict is interesting. and there are whole genres that build themselves off of this. I actually think that in certain instances, homestuck may fall under the slice of life genre. and slice of life is largely misunderstood as a rather bland genre, but the appeal is watching people with personalities that you enjoy. you watch them live their lives, and you go along for the ride. true slice of life is not a soap opera... it’s just enjoying the company of people who happen to be fictional. there's always been an element of that in homestuck... these were characters that you could see yourself getting along with if you met them. they were entertaining because of how they saw the world... how you would see the world if you were looking through their eyes. and homestuck gave you that opportunity. sometimes, that actually is all that you need.

I'm not saying that homestuck's ideal form is as a purely slice of life type of story... but wasn't that kind of what a lot of the fan works felt like? little comics about funny scenarios, or preexisting comedy bits with roles assigned to the characters they reminded you of... that stuff was the form that fun took for the fans of this comic. why is that so easily dismissed as frivolous? why is it so bad to want a little of that back? sometimes, you do wanna get into the hard stuff. maybe you wanna see Dave and Dirk have a conversation where they both admit that all they wanted as kids was a brother, and neither felt like they got to have that, but in very different ways. maybe you wanna see Roxy and Rose compare their similar feelings of estrangement, and explore the emotions that led them into their respective struggles with alcohol. maybe you wanna see John have a moment of sadness when he decides he wants to raise a kid, because he misses his own dad, and while Jane's dad is definitely family, he isn't the guy that actually raised John for the first 13 years of his life. maybe you wanna see Jade get inordinately clingy with every single one of her friends until one of them finally voices a concern about needing some space, only to see a glimpse of Jade's absolute terror at the thought of being alone again. and that pain is something that could definitely find a place in a story with more actual down time. maybe these moments of actually cathartic lingering pain could be explored with sensitivity in a story that gives them room to breathe. if the writers played their cards right and let the characters heal in meaningful ways, they might've even gotten tears of happiness out of a few of us. wouldn't that have been wild.

I just hate the idea that something is more realistic if it's dark. that's not true at all. I understand where the sentiment comes from. I understand the merits of taking an unflinching look at hard truths. but cynicism is not the same as realism. and realistically, people will try hard to seek good things for themselves in life. and even if they miss the mark... even if they fall into depression, or lack the ability to make their dreams a reality, these particular characters had already sought and found good people. people who would, realistically, absolutely help a friend if they needed it. I know this, because I watched them do that. the whole first five acts were literally about the trolls yelling at the humans because there was a huge problem that they blamed the kids for causing, and what did these kids do? they said "hey wait, let's fix that" and they did. even though the trolls made a horribly rude first impression. even though it was monumentally challenging. these kids have fought and died for each other's sake. they are family. if not by blood then by bond. and when that part of a story resonates with an audience, it is valuable.

I feel like I shouldn't have to defend the value of connecting positively with an audience. I get that this may be kind of a hokey take... I get that the people who currently like EP/HS2 will probably think I'm asking for something far too saccharine. but at this point I don't even care. once again, this is just my personal opinion, long and rant-like though it may be. and clearly it will change nothing about the current state of homestuck's most canon non-canon continuation. I guess my one major frustration is the extent to which some people have bought into what I consider to be blatant character defamation. it pains me when people talk about the actions of some of the characters in EP/HS2, because while many blame the writers for the unsettling behavior displayed by them in EP/HS2, some will readily consider this to be where the kids from the early acts really ended up as people.

[aion-rsa]

The Nevers Star Laura Donnelly Answers Burning Finale Questions

https://ift.tt/3uSp933

The following contains major spoilers for The Nevers episode 6.

The star of HBO sci-fi series The Nevers has never shied away from the fact that the show’s sixth episode would be a big one.

“Six is an extraordinary episode,” Donnelly (who plays Amalia True) told Den of Geek prior to the series premiere. “It provides a lot of the answers to the questions that the audience might have. It seemed like a very natural cut-off point.”

Whether episode 6, titled “True”, is a natural cut-off point remains to be seen. Due to the coronavirus pandemic suspending production, the show’s initial 10-episode first season order was shortened to six and “Part 2” (containing six more episodes for a total of 12) is set to arrive at a later date. It’s hard to argue though that episode 6 is anything but extraordinary. 

Read more

TV

How HBO’s The Nevers Explores a Very Different Vision of Victorian Girl Power

By Lacy Baugher

“True” doesn’t merely provide some answers to long-running Nevers questions – it basically upends the premise of the entire show. It turns out that creator Joss Whedon’s initial vision for The Nevers wasn’t merely Victorian ladies with supernatural powers, but that of a much larger story about the human race on the edge of collapse and a dimension-hopping alien species intent on helping us.

Whedon departed the project during the production delay so when the show returns it will be up to new showrunner Philippa Goslett to shepherd this bold new vision. To get ready for that, Den of Geek spoke with Donnelly about the many revelations of episode 6 and what the future of The Nevers entails. 

For those looking for a more complete rundown of just what happened in this truly wild episode, check out our explainer over here. But here Donnelly does an admirable job of unwinding “True’s” many twists. 

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Den of Geek: I participated in the press day interviews before the season premiered. Now I’m wondering what was that press day experience like on your end? People ask you “So what’s your show about? What’s going on?” And then you just kind of have to sit back and lie!

Laura Donnelly: It’s the most frustrating thing ever. I wanted to go into some details but honestly it felt like I could say nothing without unraveling an entire six-episode arc. People would ask me “How did you research to get into the role?” I can’t say that I researched what it might be like to train in the army, what combat would be like with PTSD, things like that. So I’m left going, “Oh, I just read some books on what it’s like in Victorian times.” It made me sound like a really lame researcher. 

You mentioned back in those pre-air interviews that when you first had the meeting for this show, Joss gave you kind of the “whole picture.” Was this episode what that meeting was referring to? And what was your reaction like when you first heard it all?

Well, it was obviously then that I realized I was not dealing with Victorian X-Men. (That meeting) introduced the idea of having an entire backstory of somebody who has been through so much and then gets thrown into this situation and has to deal with it. I just knew that that was going to be such a deep dive into this character and that there was going to be so much to be able to explore with it. Then it was bringing in the elements of how the show is relevant to today, not just in an allegorical sense, but literally – how they are trying to go back in time to make sure that humans do better.

I couldn’t believe that a mind or a show could hold that much. And I knew that I had to be a part of it. What blew me away about (episode) six was that I didn’t know the details, how the story would be told and everything. Now I just can’t believe that with this single hour of television, they managed to tell all of these separate stories with such beauty and nuance. And not just with a ton of exposition, but instead, showing these things in the most clear way possible and that you find out so much in such a short period of time. 

Definitely. The first chapter in this episode is really filled with futuristic sci-fi jargon and there is very, very little expository dialogue. Maybe this is a non-sequitur, but have you ever seen the movie Primer? It kind of reminded me of that in that sense.

No.

It’s a time travel movie made by Shane Carruth a while back (Editor’s Note: 2004). And all of the dialogue is just complete jargon that only an expert in theoretical physics would understand for basically the whole runtime, but the audience is still able to pick up what’s happening for the most part. This episode just reminded me of that.

Yeah. I love it for that. I love it for the fact that it rewards intensive viewing. It’s not the show that you can watch while you’re scrolling on your phone. If you are willing to just buy into that, you realize that on first watch you get the important information: the Galanthi are an alien race that are here to help humanity from itself, and that Stripe is Amalia. Then everything after that the more passion you bring to watching it, the more you get out of it.

I finished my first re-watch right before this interview and I think I finally understand just now how and why Stripe got sent back in time by the Galanthi. Because things are too far gone now. The Galanthi are finally going to really help and their version of really helping is just “We’ve got to go back. Humanity needs a fresh start.”

Yeah! I loved that there were things that I realized from watching it that I hadn’t picked up in the reading of the script. When they suddenly realize that the portal is an exit one and not an entrance one, that makes Knitter (Ellora Torchia) in that moment lose all hope. But what you come to realize is that that is not a moment of despair actually. You realize that the reason that they had an exit portal was because they had a plan and they weren’t coming back. You see that with the Victorian artifacts in the room. In fact, this plan was brought together with the scientists. They were working on that together. That was only something that I caught from watching it.

What was it like watching Claudia Black play your character?

I thought she did a really, really beautiful job. It was strange for me because I wanted them to shoot that before I shot my Stripe stuff, so that I would have a lot more to go on to replicate when I first land in the asylum. But it just couldn’t work out that way and they had to shoot all of Claudia and the future stuff after I’d already shot in the asylum. I went in and watched a lot of their rehearsals and got some video footage of their rehearsals and stuff so I had a good idea of what it was that she was doing with that, but it was just amazing to watch the whole thing put together. It’s like the final piece of a puzzle that I didn’t even have any say in. I was just kind of glad really that it matched up to what I had in my head, because I’d been having to make a lot of guesses when it came to playing Stripe in the asylum. 

It occurs to me now that for five episodes you’ve been playing a woman with a North American accent doing an old-timey Victorian British accent. What was that process like?

It allowed a little freedom actually because, on her part, it’s a learned accent. I didn’t have to be hugely strict about the rules of what would be particularly Victorian. I allowed myself to bring a little more modernity to how she would phrase something. I kind of hoped that people would pick up on the idea that Amalia seemed, in some indistinguishable way, slightly anachronistic. I also then kind of hoped that there would even be the odd person going, “Oh, well her accent’s slipped there, she got it wrong there” or whatever, because I kind of felt once you then see episode six, they’d see why. 

When you think of the character in your head, what name comes to mind first: Molly, Zephyr, Amalia, or Stripe?

Amalia, actually, but the second one that would come would be Stripe. It’s funny, “Zephyr” is the last one I think of and I think that that is probably true of Amalia as well in that it is so far pushed down. It is so far into her past for so many different reasons. It would be too painful to have all of the implications that the Zephyr name carries in the forefront of her mind. In her soldier way of being, she just needs to constantly move forward. 

Again, back before the season premiered when I spoke to you and Ann (Skelly), my first question was about characters’ names and how they were a little odd. Perhaps that was a bit prescient because in the far flung future names are sacred. What was your impression of that concept and why do you think names have become sacred?

I wonder if it’s just the idea that it’s the only little bit of recognizable humanity left for them. I think that people will always find a way of making something sacred. You need what is sacred to you at times when things are most difficult. You’re looking at a human race that doesn’t even have real food. Everything is engineered and they can’t even breathe the air outside. The sacred can be very important in moments of deep, deep despair like that. A name is something that everybody can have, and a name is something that everybody can therefore keep for themselves.

At the same time, it also speaks to the idea that everybody then is involved in that war on one side or the other. It doesn’t seem to me that you’ve got the army and then you’ve got citizens. It seems to me like everybody at that point in humanity as they’re coming towards the end is on one side or the other and is fighting. That means that everybody is being called by their rank, and so Stripe is known as Stripe That also makes a name more sacred because it’s the part of you that isn’t involved in this war. It’s the last vestige of true humanity that you might have left.

Any updates on the production process for part 2? I believe last time you had yet to see any scripts. 

I’ve had lots of conversations with (new showrunner) Philippa Goslett and with Ilene (Landress), our producer but I have as yet not read a script. I’m just waiting, but I’m in prep. I know enough about the next couple of episodes to know what fights I need to learn and things like that.

I cannot imagine being in Philippa’s shoes right now. Showrunner changes happen all the time but this is one of the more unusual narrative circumstances to fall into, I think.

Absolutely. I mean, the show is wild, but I think that, whatever else happened, we were so fortunate that episode six became this very natural break point in the story for obvious reasons. So much has been wrapped up. I feel like the world is built and the characters are established, you know. It really could go pretty much anywhere from here and it just needs somebody’s brilliant imagination to do that.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Now that the real plot behind the curtain was revealed, does the name “The Nevers” have any more added significance?

Not that I’m aware of, no. I think the only thing that I have to go on about the name is something that Joss said several years back about the idea that these people never should have existed. They’re anomalies or even the more pejorative term – abominations.

Do you think future seasons and storylines of the show will take things past Victorian England and inch closer to that dystopian present?

I mean, I would love for it to. It makes sense to me that it started in Victorian times because that was a key moment of change in so many different ways in how the world communicates. There are kind of several revolutions going on at once, technological being one of the main ones. But it would be really interesting then to see how that progresses, and the issues at hand get dealt with, depending on the social aspects of different countries or different decades. The key to all of that is can you find a really cool way of doing it? Because my head isn’t able to come up with that. Whatever keeps the storyline the most interesting, keeps the characters true to themselves, and doesn’t jump the shark, I’m well up for.

The Nevers season 1 part 2 is awaiting a release date at HBO.

The post The Nevers Star Laura Donnelly Answers Burning Finale Questions appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3uUOxF8

[awhitehead17]

Universal Signs

Chapter Eight / Previous Chapter

Also on AO3

A/N: The rating has changed! It was general but is now teen. There is a bit violence and hints of blood towards the end of this chapter. Its nothing too graphic but just in case here's the warning if that makes you uncomfortable. 

Enjoy! :D

Tim wasn’t sulking. He wasn’t! He was just pouting in the common room on his own as he thinks through recent events. That’s all. No sulking involved whatsoever.

Okay so maybe he was sulking.  

His arm was irritating him. Underneath the bandage his skin itches and he has to forcibly stop himself from scratching at the wound. He scowls at the ceiling as he slumps back into the plush couch he was sat on. He can’t believe a cat spat at him and burnt his arm. Out of everything he’s encountered so far, that cat-like creature is probably the strangest things he’s yet to see. 

The aliens did tell him to not get too close, but in his defence they neglected to mention that the creature could spit over seven feet away! How was Tim supposed to know that? He saw the creature, it looked cute and fluffy and he wanted to pet it, then Kon-el found him and dragged him away. The alien’s reaction to the creature just made Tim more curious about it.

After grabbing food Tim found the cat again but kept his distance. It looked harmless and it even resembled his brother’s cat back home. However things went wrong when something spooked the creature and caused it to get nasty. In a matter of seconds it went from cute and cuddly to vicious and evil. It hissed and then spat at Tim before darting away and disappearing into the trees.

Thankfully he had quick reflexes and was able to cover his face with his arm before getting hit with the creature’s acid-like spit. His arm instantly flared up with pain which caused him to cry out. That’s when Kon-el appeared.

At least it was his arm that got burnt and not his face. Who knows what kind of damaged that would have caused if that was the outcome. Curiosity killed the cat. Tim snorts. Yeah, his curiosity did almost kill him this time.

“Are you okay?”

Tim jumps at the sudden voice. He turns around to look at them and follows them with his eyes as they walk over to the couch and sit opposite him.

“What’s funny?”

Cassie looks at him with slightly narrowed eyes, as if she’s suspicious of his behaviour. Tim eyes her up momentarily, even now after he’s been with them for a few weeks he still gets the odd feeling around Cassie. She’s warmed up to him a little in that time, as if she’s getting used to his presence now but there was still that underlying mistrust of him hanging around in the air.

Tim shrugs it off. There wasn’t a lot he could do about it in that moment. He averts his gaze from her and waves a dismissive hand. “Oh nothing, just some human crap.”

That was another thing Tim had learnt. Half of the time they have no idea what he’s saying, common phrases and sayings go right over their heads. Any abbreviations he makes gets him blanks stares. Movie and TV show references get him a raised eyebrow in question.

Of course this was to be expected considering where he is, but every time it happens the ache inside his chest of where he’s missing home just grows that bit heavier at the reminder.

Tim’s missing his friends and family. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he was taken from earth as he was unable to track time while he was captured and he only has a vague idea of how long he’s been with these guys on this ship.

It sucks and Tim absolutely hates it. Unfortunately he doesn’t have much of a choice but to suck it up and get on with it.

“Sure...” Cassie drawls giving him that look that says you humans are strange. “I wanted to update you on some stuff. First off, our next stop will be in a few days’ time to collect the next item we need. There isn’t much to do between now and then, so basically get comfy and relax. Second thing, how would you like your own room on the ship? We were speaking and it’s only fair that you get your own space like the rest of us have.”

Tim nods taking in the information before pausing and shooting her a surprised look. He had been expecting the next stop details, however the room news did surprise him.

“Really? I didn’t think there would be any room for me to have my own space?” He questions her. “I don’t want to put any of you out or make any trouble.”

“We can clear out one of the storage rooms and place a bed in there. It wouldn’t be much but it’s somewhere other than in the common room for you.”

Tim smiles gratefully, “Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.”

Having his own space would be nice. As comfy as the couch in the common room was, having his own space would definitely be preferred.

She nods. “Okay, I can let the others know and we can get started on that. Third thing, how’s your arm?”

Tim lets out a breath and shrugs. “Irritating. The wound is still fresh so it’s going to be annoying for a little while yet. If I keep it clean and stuff it should hopefully heal up within a week or two. Thankfully it’s not anywhere where it would really be a nuisance.”

She stays quiet as he watches him. Tim glances at her but looks away again. He has no clue to what she’s thinking, he probably doesn’t want to know either.

When the silence drags on, Tim decides to fill it. “So what’s the plan until the next stop? Got any ideas or no?”

She shakes her head. “No. As I said there’s not much we can do now until we reach the next destination. Try to keep yourself occupied until then. I’m sure one of the others can help entertain you if you get bored.”

After that apparently Cassie was done with the conversation because she stands up and leaves the room without another word. Tim blinks at her vacated spot, wrapping his head around the conversation. Right, so now he has to entertain himself for the time being.

He sighs and starts deciding what he’s going to do with himself. As he looks around the room for inspiration, his eyes land on the Rubik’s cube on the table in front of him.

Figuring that’ll do for the time being, Tim reaches over and grabs it. Two of the sides were already solved and Tim’s going to assume that Bart was the one to do it. He wonders how many more he can complete until their next destination.

 In the time it took to travel to the next planet, Tim simply plotted around the ship looking for things to do. One of the main things to be achieved within that time was that his room Cassie had mentioned has now been set up. It’s a storage room turned into a bedroom so it’s pretty small but they manage to get a bed in there along with a small wardrobe and a small chest of draws. It wasn’t a lot but it’s not like Tim had a lot of belongings anyway.

While it was nice to have his own private space sometimes it felt wrong. At times the room felt too small and it made him feel claustrophobic, especially since there were no windows. The bed sometimes felt to hard and he would just be tossing and turning on it. It made him miss his own bedroom back home. Like his pillow, god he misses his pillow, and his own blanket. Just the little things that he once took for granted.

He gets by though. It’s nice that they’ve created the room for him and he appreciates it.

To pass the time, they would occasionally play a few games, have the entertainment night that Bart got to decide what they do, work and chat.

Tim’s arm was still healing and from what he could tell it was healing nicely. Another couple of days and it should hopefully be back to normal. He’s been keeping an eye on it and treating it to the best of his abilities.

Eventually they enter the next planet’s atmosphere and Tim observes the descent from the window in the common room. The planet was filled with what looked like trees, well, at least if trees had dark blue leaves and purple trunks. By this point he wasn’t even surprised any more. The amount of crazy, beyond imaginable, things he’s seen and discovered while in space, things like this just don’t really shock him anymore. Though the idea of telling his family about all of this is rather amusing. They wouldn’t believe a single thing of it.

The ship descends down to the ground and lands with a thump. Once everything was stable Tim leaves the common room and heads for the cockpit where the others were gathered. He enters the room to find Cassie at the dashboard and Kon and Bart together at the table. He walks overs and claims one of the free seats for himself.

They both look at him as he settles.

“Tim, just to get you up to speed. We’re on the planet Tordar and we’re here because we need to gather up 50 pieces of Pingon,” Kon tells him.

Tim nods his understanding and straightens up when Kon slides a piece of paper across the table to him. He picks the page up and scans it. There was an image of what Tim is assuming they need to collect. It was a golden cylinder shape with what looked like pink coloured spikes sprouting out from the main body and there were large dark blue leaves appearing from one end of it.

It reminded Tim of a pineapple. At least if they were skinner, pink and had blue leaves.

Kon continues speaking, glancing at his team as well as Tim as he does so. “The picture is what we need to collect from this planet. Pingon’s are found hanging low off the trees. So hopefully we can simply grab and go.”

Tim puts the paper down and rubs a hand over his forehead. He sighs and looks up at the alien. “There’s more to it than that isn’t there? It’s never a simple grab and go. So what is it?”

The alien looks uneasy, shifting from foot to foot as he glances at Tim before sharing a look with the other two like he’s reluctant to tell Tim the information.

“Kon.” He presses.

In the end it wasn’t Kon who shares the information with him, it was Bart. Tim whips his head around to look at the speedster.

“A species called Galavent live on this planet and they are dangerous. They’re ferociously territorial, will maim and kill in an instant. They are not fun to be around at all.” He was staring at Tim with an intense expression, this alone was telling Tim Bart wasn’t joking around and this was the truth.

“Right,” Tim drawls, “Avoid killer… Galavents? No problem.”

He starts getting up from the table only to be stopped by Kon speaking up. “Tim, maybe you should stay on the ship for the time being.”

Tim grits his teeth and tries to hide his annoyance. “Why? Because I’m human? Because I don’t have powers like the rest of you?”

Kon open his mouth to say something but seems to reconsider his words. “No. Not because you’re human Tim but because your hurt. It’ll be safe for you on here than out there.”

Tim snorts in disbelief. It was only a matter of time before they would start treating him like he was a delicate piece of glass unable to do anything. He continues standing and pins Kon with a look.

“I’m fine. I have a minor injury, nothing that’ll stop me from doing regular things. I’m going to help you whether you like it or not.” When the alien stays silent, Tim takes that as a win. “I’ll meet you by the door.”

He leaves the room in a tense silent and heads for his own bedroom. If the planet did have dangerous creatures on it, it may be best that he has some sort of weapon. He grabs the metal pole from his room before heading down to the main door of the ship.

About a minute later the three others show up. As he approaches, Kon scowls at him, clearly not happy with this arrangement of Tim joining them out on the planet. Tim fakes a sweet smile, like he was completely innocent in the ordeal. He smiles for real when the only reaction he gets is Kon’s scowl deepening on his face.

As they walk, Tim notices that each of them was carrying something that resembled a large picnic basket. He doesn’t question them about it, figuring that they must be for carrying the pingon’s back to the ship.

The four of them soon leave the ship and step foot onto the planet. Tim was surprised to find it warmer than he expected. With all the trees around them (even though they’re purple) it reminds him of a jungle or forest back home. It was surprisingly light on the planet too, despite all of the leaves blocking the sky, everything was still visible to Tim’s human eyes.

Moving away from the ship, which was parked in the middle of a large clearing, they all enter the tree line and start hunting for the pingon’s they need to collect.

Thankfully the hunt doesn’t take too long for them to find the first bunch of pingon’s. They were indeed hanging low off the branches towards the ground, basically in perfect height for picking.

Tim walks over to one of the trees and studies the fruit. The colours were more vibrant in real life than what they were on paper. It looked like an exotic fruit someone would find in the Caribbean or something. He reaches out and gingerly touches the spikes of the fruit, not knowing what to expect. They were sharp but didn’t feel like they would pierce his skin, once again reminding him of a pineapple.

He grabs the fruit with a hand, pulls it off the branch in one swift movement and weighs the thing in his hands. It didn’t feel heavy like a pineapple does, in fact it was fairly light which was surprising. He wonders over to where Bart was picking a few from off another tree and puts his in Bart’s basket.

Between the four of them they clear that area of fruit fairly quickly and decide to move onto the next area. As he picks the fruit, Tim was half tempted to eat it. Maybe split one open to see what it looked like on the inside and try some of it.

He fiddles with the one in his hands as he glances around to where the others are. They were all too busy with their jobs to pay attention to him. Tim turns back to the fruit and positions his hands where the leaves were and braces himself to pull them off when –

“Tim what are you doing?”

When Cassie’s voice makes him pause. Annoyed he’s been caught, he sighs and turns around. He puts on his best innocent looking expression and shakes his head. “Nothing. Why what’s up?”

Cassie narrows her eyes at him in disbelief. “I’m going to say this now, but don’t eat the pingon’s. If consumed like this,” she holds up the pingon in her hand as demonstration, “unprepped, they can burn your insides. So listen to me and don’t eat the pingon’s. Understand?”

Tim blinks in horror at the fruit. Okay, apparently this is fruit that can burn your insides. This is just another thing to add to the mental ‘what the fuck?’ list Tim has currently running inside his head.

“Right, not eating the pingon raw. Got ya.”

He was still tempted to try the fruit of course but Tim’s going to listen because he likes his insides functioning and wants to keep it that way. Shaking the thoughts of burning insides out of his head, Tim continues with the task at hand. The quicker they finish the better.

They spend a little over an hour collecting all the fruit they need and gather a few more for themselves to have a treat at a later date. Once finished they begin to head back to the ship. The aliens were carrying the baskets while Tim walked behind them, lazily swinging his pole around with each step.

He doesn’t know when it started, but he knows when he first recognised the feeling. All the hair on the back of his neck suddenly stands up and goose bumps appear on his skin as he shivers. An uneasy feeling washes over him as he travels behind the aliens. It went on for a little while and the feeling wouldn’t go away.

Tim was sure something was watching him.

He stops walking to observe his surroundings, looking for anything unusual (or something that looked out of place at least) however all he could see were the thick trunks of the trees, hanging fruit and the dark blue leaves.

Tim takes a deep breath and lets it out before shaking his head. He’s just being paranoid, that’s all. Overthinking things and letting his imagination get the better of him.

Turning back around, Tim continues walking now picking up his speed to catch up with the others who were further up ahead and hadn’t noticed he stopped. Tim only travelled several meters when the growling started. It was a low sound that shook him right through his core, something that made him freeze on the spot.

He tries to control his breathing in order to stop himself from panicking, his heart starts pounding inside of his chest and all of his muscles in his body were frozen and tense.

The growling’s coming from behind him and it felt like it was getting louder by the second. His brain was screaming two different things at him. One was to run. Run and don’t look back. The second, was to turn around to see what was there.

Ever the curious human, Tim goes with the second option and stupidly turns around. He keeps his movements slow and steady so he doesn’t startle whatever is behind him.

Tim’s breath catches inside of his throat when he finally faces what was behind him. Hanging from a tree there was a huge monkey-like creature. It was staring at Tim with two black orbs for eyes, its long razer teeth were borne in a snarl as it growls at him.

For a moment Tim thought it was a baboon. The colour of the fur was the same and its body was similar. The main differences however was the size and the fact this thing was eyeing Tim up like he was candy.

Tim didn’t know what to do. He’s sure if he makes a move the monkey will pounce and after getting a glimpse of its claws Tim would rather not chance it.

Swallowing thickly Tim decides to take a cautious step back away from the animal. His eyes never leave the thing as he starts slowly backing away. If he doesn’t startle or aggravate it, fingers crossed, he’ll come out of this alive.

Tim’s method appeared to be working. The monkey doesn’t make a move against him as he backs away.

“Tim? Where are you?”

The sudden shout makes him jump and he holds his breath as the monkey seems to stiffen up in front of him and the growling increases in volume. Tim doesn’t dare look behind him though. He feels like if he moves his attention away from the creature then the animal will make a move. Almost like a spider you’re trying to capture, you keep watching it so you don’t lose it.

“I’m here.” Tim calls back carefully. Not too loud so he doesn’t startle the thing. “Um, something’s come up.”

“What do you me -oh.”

Now Tim could feel another presence behind him. However unlike before this one doesn’t feel threatening or put him on edge.

“Tim remember what we said on the ship. That’s a Galavent.”

Tim huffs, because of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?

“What do we do?” He asks the alien. He can make a few guesses himself but he’s out of his element here and does not want to do anything wrong.

Before Kon could reply even more growling echoes around them. From above, the leaves all rustle and a glance up shows more monkeys – Galavents – appearing. Tim’s eyes widen at the realisation that they’re surrounded.

The animal in front of Tim finally moves. It drops down to the ground with a thump, and starts stalking towards Tim. It snarls and growls at him as it gets closer. With fear Tim starts backing up, no longer caring about careful movements. The animal in front just takes that as an invitation to move quicker, letting out a roar as it starts speeding towards him.

After that, it was like hell all broke loose.

As the Galavent charged towards him, Tim let out a yell and turned tail and ran, almost falling over as he does so. Kon, who was standing behind him, shouted and also ran with him. From behind, the monkeys all followed, letting out their roars, snarls and growls as they chased them.

“Get to the ship!” He hears Kon scream at him but Tim wasn’t really paying attention.

Sprinting through the trees, they scramble to get away from the animals pursuing them. Together they somehow make it to the clearing where the ship was but only to be stopped short. Next to him, Kon goes flying as a Galavent lands on his back and tackles him to the ground.

“Kon!”

Tim doesn’t get a chance to dwell on Kon being attacked because suddenly he was thrown to the side. When he hits the ground he rolls a few times before landing on his back, he barely gets the chance to react before a monkey was coming at him from above. Letting out a scream Tim uses the pole he still had to block the monkey’s attack as it lands on him.

Large fangs were snapping at him and sharp claws trying to rip him to shreds. Tim uses all of his might to keep it away from him.

Just as his arms were about to give out, the weight of the monkey disappears. Tim blinks in surprise at the sudden change of events and again as Bart materializes out of nowhere above him. He smirks down at Tim before darting off again.

Swallowing Tim scrambles up onto his feet and swings with the metal pole as one of the monkeys jump up at him. The pole hits it clean in the head and knocks it down. Tim swings a second time to knock another down which comes from above. He knocks it down to the ground and hits it again to try and knock it out. When it no longer moves Tim stops his motions and straightens back up looking for the next immediate threat.

A yell from his right gets his attention. It was Cassie wrestling one of the creatures on the floor. Her hands were locked around it’s jaw in attempts to keep it from biting her head off. Without even thinking about it, Tim’s moving. He sprints over to Cassie and bodily tackles the animal off her.

Because of his momentum, the two of them go sprawling over the ground. Tim loses track of the animal as he rolls several times before coming to a stop on his front. He shakes his head and tries to get past the dizziness that’s currently taken over.

His luck seems to run out there because unfortunately something lands on his back before he could get his head together. The impact winds him, leaving him breathless and then there’s the piercing pain that erupts in his shoulder. He lets out a curdling scream and thrashes wildly in an attempt to buck the thing off his back.

The pain somehow worsens as it seems to travel down from his shoulder to the middle of his back. Tim lets out another sound as he feels his skin split open and warmth spread across his back. Tears were forming in his eyes and there nothing else but pain.

From there it becomes a blur. Things just all mould into one. At some point the weight disappears off his back, there were shouts of what he thinks was his name but all that registered in Tim’s mind was the pain coming from his shoulder and back.

When something else touches him, he weakly fights it off, however that something was persistent and easily bats away Tim’s sluggish strikes. He screams again when more pain explodes inside of him.

He must have blacked out or something because the next thing he knows it that his face was being pushed into something soft underneath him. Unknown things were still touching him, there was a noise which sounded like a voice surrounding him but he couldn’t make it out and the main thing was there was still overwhelming pain coming from his back.

He yells again when something touches his back, causing another jolt to go through him. He tries to get away, tries to escape from what was hurting but he’s forced to stay still by a force. With his pain-fogged mind, Tim couldn’t work out what it was, but he didn’t actually care, he just wanted to get away from it.

After futile attempts to wiggle free, he whimpers. The whimper turns into a hoarse scream when it somehow gets worse. Tim’s never felt anything like this before. It must have been too much for him to handle because the last thing he remembers is letting out that scream and then nothing.