#like please guys. i love you destielers but please

[biggestsastielfan]

dear destiel enjoyers: if there is a conversation about sastiel happening and you pipe up to say "but destiel--" i need you to execute yourself immediately

(/hj... or whatever)

[creatorofarcadia]

Lord knows I'm gonna regret this because people go buckwild about ships, but look. You can love destiel, I'm happy for you. You don't even need to give me any evidence. Ship characters who haven't even met if you want, I'm not bothered.

But please, I'm begging, stop using the siren thing as evidence for destiel. The siren being Sam isn't even subtext it's just text, what with the 'I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you' line so there are exactly two ways you can take it.

1. Dean's greatest desire is to have a good relationship with his brother (the siren can take on the shape of platonic desires)

2. Dean's greatest desire is to fuck his brother (the siren can only take on the shape of sexual desires)

You don't have to like option 2, that's fine. But in that case, take option 1 and run with it people. Because if you start trying to argue that:

The siren is evidence that Dean has sexual feelings towards a man, so Dean is bi, therefore destiel. What you're really arguing is Dean has sexual feelings for the illusory, perfect version of Sam.

Like idk guys, I see people joking about how not heterosexual Dean's siren being a man is and... you can totally watch it that way. But the siren isn't just a man he is a very specific man.... his brother.... soooo.

[rosemariad]

THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

[wellofdean]

Sorry ,for me personally, it has to be out loud acknowledge to even remotely make up for how badly they treated fans over the years, the out loud queerbaiting in one breath and mocking in the next. The in text gay jokes, sexism and homophobia. The digs at their own fans.

They want the credit without having to do it. Again. They want the pat on the back they need to earn it this time.

Years of baiting for views and profit needs a payoff imo. Sorry people downplaying how important the canonization of this ship in particular is just hurts to see over and over. Stop letting them off the hook please. You deserve more. We all do.

It’s important. It does matter.

The cas/destiel hope baiting continued with the Winchesters and that’s why I’m at a put up or shut up moment with Jensen and the writers. He and Danneel kept the hype up every week that the show was airing all the while knowing cas doesn’t even get a name drop. He’s not even hinted at. Mary/john paralleled destiel so many times yet refused to call it want it was.

They could have shut it down week one, they interacted on tweeter a lot during airing and knew what fans thought there was going to be an acknowledgment or hint that never happened. They are smart people, they saw the speculation and hype but didn’t step in with a gentle ‘sorry guys this is about the new crew’ they fanned the hope instead with ‘something big happens’ that was just dean meeting the new team.

Loved the Winchesters as a show, sad it got dropped cause I loved the new cast so much. That said the baiting hurt and wasn’t necessary, the show was good.

Everyone is looking back with rose colored glasses and rewriting history. But things were ugly with the spn team/cast/writers at times. The homophobia was pretty out loud in a way it was allowed to be in the early 00s. They’ve grown and that’s wonderful but it still happened.

They need to earn the praise they want imo. No hate! Glad you are happy! just feels a little unfair to say we should all let them off the hook again and be happy with nothing while praising the benevolent straights. Just my two cents 😅💚💙

I want to answer this sympathetically, because I know it's disappointing that no one has been willing to just say "Dean and Cas are gay for each other" out loud, and I don't think there are many people in this fandom who picked up what the narrative was putting down, and were not disappointed in the finale for LOADS of reasons, only one of them being that Dean never had the chance to acknowledge what Cas said to him. I understand your feelings, my anonymous friend, I really do. I too found the end of Supernatural deeply frustrating, because they managed to erase the meaningful journeys of every single character, not just Dean, though what they did with Dean was the worst. I completely understand wanting them to JUST FUCKING SAY IT. I do. I get you. I simply do not agree.

My argument, which I have made many, many times, is that what you want is THERE in the narrative. They made Cas Dean's ride or die, they made it obvious that Dean can't carry on without Cas -- that the loss of Cas means Dean loses his will to live. That was explicit. They made it clear that more than anyone else, EVEN Sam, Cas is essential to him. They structured the narrative around Dean and Cas's emotional beats. They let Cas say the obvious thing out loud, and then showed us Dean behaving exactly as Dean would in a situation like that -- in the midst of his existential crisis about who he is and whether he has ever had free will, and with the world falling around them -- they showed us Dean unable to speak, unable to respond but overwhelmed with emotion. Like, remember that when Mary died when Dean was four, he was unable to speak? Is it really so hard to imagine that he loves Cas with all his heart? To read love in Dean's watery eyes, and the way he chokes down his heart and begs Cas not to do this? Not to being saying goodbye? I mean... I CAN DO THAT MATH. Literally everything about the story supports it. IT IS THERE.

Fandom always argues: if Cas were a woman, we wouldn't have any questions, so what I am just wondering is, why do we have questions again? Is it because we (homophobically) can't just see it for what it is because it's gay? Because, when it's gay we lose our ability to interpret narrative, and we need to be told, like we are 5 years old, what's happening in a perfectly obvious story? Or, is it a skill issue? Is it because we need the creators of the story to affirm our interpretation? We need the actors to just TELL US what they meant when they did that thing with their faces? Do we need their permission to understand it for what it is?

I've said many times that calling what happened on Supernatural 'queerbaiting' because no one ever made out or fucked on the maps table is really offensive to me actually. Don't you know that there are queer people in this world who never get to live their truths? Who just ache and yearn and want, and never get to have? Like, that there are in fact queer people who are afraid to say what they feel, or who don't understand or embrace who they really are and what they really need until it's too late? Are those not QUEER EXPERIENCES? I love Dean and I love that story because it's queer as hell and it makes ME feel seen, because I am like him! I am a queer person of his age who didn't ask myself those questions seriously enough in time! My own queerness is very fucking real, and it is UNLIVED. That HAPPENS to actual queer humans, and like, it's not queerbaiting when it's just queer, but didn't tell you the queer story YOU wanted it to tell. You saw years of tease? I saw years of choices, and love, and accretion of deep wells of emotion. I saw a clear romance, and a character becoming. It was a story I needed, AS A QUEER PERSON.

And the Winchesters was just joyful if you went in with that understanding of the previous story. It was like getting an A+ in Supernatural week after week from Dean himself. I can accept that the stars didn't align for Cas/Misha to come back in the first season, accept that if he were coming back, it needed to be more than a cameo to make it right, and that it didn't work out. I am so sad it was cancelled, but I can accept that it was leading someplace it didn't get to go. That's not queerbaiting, either! It's telling a story that was aborted, and I think if you don't see that, then that is DEFINITELY a skill issue.

I'm not looking back with rose coloured glasses; Supernatural is fresh in my mind. I watched it again without the internal pressure of expectations that aren't going to be met, and let it tell me what it was really doing all along. I am happy. It's a really compelling, deeply romantic, deeply queer story. I don't need permission from anyone involved to think that, and I don't need it explained to me. I understand wanting it to just be fully explicit, but I would not trade the story it did tell for a simpler, less engaging one, that asked less of me. I love it very much AS IT IS.

And, please: point me to this fabled abuse of fans. I have never really seen an example of it that is not easily debunked with a little bit of context.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 30: Whump

Agape | @tami-ryver Rating: Mature Word Count: 2,421 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Torture, Tortured Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s04e16 On the Head of a Pin (Supernatural), Blood and Injury, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Saves Dean Winchester, Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), First Kiss, Dean Winchester Swears, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angel Wings, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond Summary: Cas, I don't know if you can hear me, I need your help. I got myself kidnapped by a demon; you told me to pray in case something like this happened, so, please, help me! With his eyes closed, Dean doesn't see the way the demon starts leaving his old vessel and starts drifting toward him. Only when the smell of sulfur fills his nose, his eyes open quickly and he sees the black mass of the demon right in front of him, he sobs. Then a bright light fills the room.

The Confessions of Buried Bones | @Joysprings-a03 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,120 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Injured!Dean Winchester, Protective! Castiel, Hunt Gone Wrong, Curses, Blood and Injury, Worried!Sam, Worried!Castiel BAMF!Castiel, Trapped, Love Confessions, Case fic, Summary: On a case gone wrong, Dean is seriously injured while Cas is running low on grace. The two are trapped together and running out of time. Things come to light, feelings and desperation take place. ********** The cave rumbled again and a few loose rocks fell, which only served to raise Dean’s hackles even more. They’d definitely missed something. “There’s a catch to the curse! After it’s broken, the place it was protecting starts to self-destruct! You have to get out of there now!” Suddenly crystal clear, Sam’s words came through his phone just as the mouth of the cave popped into view. Time slowed, and Dean’s stomach plummeted as he realized what was happening. “Run!”

Take Enough Soul | @envydean Rating: Explicit Word Count: 9,450 Main Tags/Warnings: Demon!Dean/Human!Cas, Alternate Universe, summoning demons, Selling of Souls, Angst, Hurt/very little comfort, cock bulging, Bottom!Cas, slight body horror, Ambiguously Happy Ending, temporary major character death, rape/non-con Summary: Dean is summoned to an old cabin in the middle of the woods by a man who has lost his brother. After making sure Castiel's soul is worth the bargain, Dean goes in search of Castiel's brother only to find that he's not on Earth, but in Hell. Unfortunately for Castiel, deals are addictive and once he's made one, he finds he has Dean wrapped around his finger.

Entirely Unacceptable | @samanddean76 Rating: Mature Word Count: 10,794 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Modern Royalty, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Alpha Gabriel, Omega Sam Winchester, Alpha John Winchester, BAMF's, BAMF John Winchester, Rescue, Revenge, Or Justice, First Time, Knotting, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, True Mates, Love, Happy Ending, All The Bad Guys Get Punished, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Kneeling, Past Abuse, Mpreg, Dean Winchester Whump Summary: Alpha Castiel has unexpectedly acquired a very well-trained Omega Dean when he escorted his brother Gabriel to a public auction house. But the Omega he brought home harbors not only secrets, but enemies as well. Will they survive long enough to reach their happy ending? And can they really be true mates if neither is sure that they even believe in such a thing? Love, rescue, and some revenge in a modern-day A/B/O setting.

The Penitent | @verobatto Rating: Explicit Word Count: 17,832 Main Tags/Warnings: Demon!Dean, post apocalyptic AU, memory loss, temporary MCD (Sam), hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, whump!Dean, top!Castiel/bottom! Dean Summary: Ten years have passed since Demon! Dean murdered his brother Sam and devastated the land. His footprints have become almost untraceable by the angels, who've lost faith in and defeating the one in possession of the Mark of Cain. Everyone except Castiel, who after incessantly searching for a way to save Dean, finds one last hope. He must request something extraordinary from Heaven to heal the mark. block the demon, and recover Dean. Dean must reverse the events, bringing Sam back to life. To do this, he must use the Penitent's Ring, which had once belonged to Cain, and with it, he must defeat the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit. Yet is Dean capable of such this? And can Castiel heal the darkness within Dean? This is a dystopian fic, based on canonverse, post 10x20 episode. Dean had lost his memories and he will be slowly recovering them. This will bring a lot of angst, and sad moments but Castiel will be there to comfort him. It's an angsty story with action, romance and a happy ending.

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Anti-destiel Wank (sorry but I have to)

If you hardcore ship Destiel, please just scroll on by. Please.

Ok, I'm gonna get myself in trouble, I'm sure, but I gotta get this off my chest...

Destiel may be a perfectly fine ship,

but,

IT'S JUST A SHIP.

In the actual context of the show there IS NO ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TENSION/RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS.*

Full fucking stop.

Subtext can be interpreted in ANY WAY YOU WANT. It is subjective. You will find whatever you look for in it. Please stop waving subtext interpretations around as if they were objective facts, they aren't. Subtext, by its very definition, relies on implied meaning and understanding, this means it is a subjective interpretation of the media that varies from viewer to viewer. The inherent variations are what make it fanon/headcanon instead of canon.

If you see tension of that sort there and it makes you happy to postulate the what if, then go ahead, that is what fanon and head canon and fan fiction is all about. But if the fact that the tension you think you see isn't being addressed in actual canon makes you grumpy, maybe you need to take some of the fanatic out of your fanning. If you are beginning to think the show creators are actively trying to repress Dean's "true sexuality and feelings" because they are evil, you might need to consider that you've dug in too deep.

Because, like I ship wincest. Yeah, I said it. But I am aware that canon doesn't actually include any level of sexual or romantic (in the modern sense) relationship between Sam and Dean. Wincest is not canon.

Now, are Sam and Dean the real "love" story of the show? Yes, yes they are. That has always been 100% the entire point of Supernatural, the great love story of two brothers struggling to save the world together. It's about family and everything that means, but at its heart, it is about Sam and Dean WInchester. Not all kisses and cuddles and sex kind of love, but love nonetheless. Full stop.

Now, the fact that Destiel is such a popular ship is not surprising to me in the least. Jensen and Misha are two gorgeous guys who share a lot of chemistry on screen and off. And, it is canon that Cas loves Dean. That has been evident since Lazarus Rising (4x01) when Cas was introduced. Castiel's love of Dean Winchester has been his character's main motivation all along and culminated with Cas sacrificing himself to save Dean, after telling him that he loved him in Despair (15x18)

But Dean's main motivation has always been to watch out for his brother. And though Castiel became Dean's best friend, he still comes second to Sam. Nothing against Cas, he just isn't Sam.

So why are so many people so absolutely convinced that Destiel is so real within the context of the story?

Well, I'm pretty sure that it is the same reason that they are so opposed to the idea of wincest.

As we all know, incest is bad, mmmkay? Incest is probably one of the biggest, strongest, cultural taboos we have. So it makes perfect sense that the idea of two blood-related brothers having sexual or romantic feelings for each other is considered icky. It's so off putting that it is a complete no go for even fantasizing about for most people. And that's probably a good thing, tbh, incest should be taboo. But where does that taboo spring from? Why is it so deeply off limits? There are several reasons, but the two main ones are:

That incest can lead to inbreeding.

That incest too often involves molestation or rape of children.

Both of these are seriously bad enough that we all pretty much collectively agree to avoid incestuous relationships. But, do either of these two reasons really apply in the case of Sam and Dean?

The short answer is no. Primarily this is because they are fictional characters that are being played by unrelated actors. But to humor the objectors we'll look at it closer.

We can take the first one right off the table. As two cis men, neither of them is capable of becoming pregnant, so outside of the mpreg (male pregnancy) or gender bending subsets of fanfic tropes, this is not applicable.

The second reason only becomes an issue when talking about the characters earlier in their lives, pre-show or flashbacks. Weecest or teencest, or whatever, are things, but these typically have separate ship names for a reason, because even when dealing with fictional characters this squicks a lot of folks who are otherwise down with the wincest ship. So most content is tagged or labeled as its specific flavor, so anyone can find it or avoid it. But wincest that involves adult Sam and Dean (the specific pairing I'm referring to in this post) doesn't apply to the second reason listed above.

So there really is nothing morally wrong with Sam and Dean having sex with each other. I know that statement is going to bother a whole lot of people, but it is true. Just because something is taboo does not automatically make it morally wrong. Being gay used to be taboo in our culture, and is still taboo for way too many people, even though there is nothing morally wrong with homosexuality.

Now, I wasn't in the fandom back at the beginning of the show, but I've heard tell that the very first Sam/Dean fic was posted just a few hours after the pilot episode aired. A few hours, that's all it took for some highly motivated fan to type out a story where they were more than just brothers. The story is called Reunion. If you watch the pilot, even with your anti-incest goggles on, the chemistry between Jared and Jensen is palpable throughout. There is a reason the show lasted for 15 years, and that reason is that Sam and Dean just work on screen so well together. So if it only took one episode for that ship to be born, what did all the future destiel shippers do? Well I imagine they felt somewhat uncomfortable for the first 60 episodes.

Flash forward to season four and the introduction of Castiel. Finally there was another male character for fans squicked by the notion of sweet, sweet brother loving to focus on! Cas was clearly fixated on Dean more than Sam, which followed the plot since Cas had been instructed to rescue Dean from Hell. As it would turn out, the brothers were destined to be the meatsuits that Michael and Lucifer wore to the big prize fight to determine the fate of the world. Prepping Sam for Lucifer involved him consuming demon blood, which made most of the angelic host view him as an abomination, a factor that Cas had to learn to get past in his relationship with the younger brother. But Dean was ready to go right out of the box, no assembly required for Michael. Castiel, and many of his angelic brethren, as well as a lot of Demons, seem to be drawn to Dean in a way that they just aren't drawn to Sam. Is this fair? Hell no. But I mean, look at him! Jensen has sexual tension with literally everything he comes in contact with, people, food, his car, the man oozes sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, Jared is a sexy fucking ball of sunshine, and our Sammy is a damned attractive man, but he tends to be more repressed and less openly sexual than his brother, so it is what it is.

Where was I going with this? That's a good question. I got a bit distracted, sorry. Oh right...

At its root, destiel is a reactive projection. There is undeniable tension between characters in the show. Since all of the main cast are male, that tension is highly homoerotic. The two main characters, who are undeniably emotionally enmeshed and co-dependent with each other (a very well established canon fact btw), happen to be blood-related brothers. Oh no! Where is all that tension coming from since we cannot admit or accept that it's coming from them? Ah ha! Here is a new male character that we like, yes, it is obviously coming from his interactions with one of the brothers, even though he wasn't in the first 60 episodes. Yes, it all makes perfect sense now, all that tension was merely foreshadowing.

I've read through all the destiel subtext posts. I've gone back and watched all the scenes they reference multiple times with the express purpose of finding destiel. I'm telling you it is just a fanon ship. Which is 100% fine and good, ship that ship, just stop declaring it more canon than canon, because it's not.

And if you don't like fictional incest, cool, cool, you don't have to. But the underlying sexual tension existed in the first 60 episodes prior to Misha being cast on the show, so it was coming from somewhere. And it'd be cooler if you learned how to scroll past people shipping wincest, like I'm sure you do for all the other weirdass, squicky shit that people post all over the internet. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster to imagine that Dean and Cas have eyesex but that Dean and Sam don't, that's fine. I think it's delusional because neither ship is actually canon and both are 100% A-Ok in fanon, and honestly Jensen doesn't seem to be able to control his eyes, which is not something anyone should feel bad about (it's fucking marvelous) but you do you.

*Castiel does love Dean. He confessed as much, but Dean did not reciprocate. What I am referencing is a mutual romance or attraction, which does not exist.

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Good friday y'all. Welcome back to a new fortnight of fics that I’ve read and loved recently. I took my first holiday of the year and IMMEDIATELY caught a cold that knocked me out for the week but at least it meant I got reading done. Save me, destiel, save me.

If you want to find more you can see my previous rec lists here!

29 March 2024

virga(e) by @shineforthee (art by @neversleepuntilfive) has gone straight to the top of the favourite fics ever pile, oh my god you guys, please read it immediately and admire the art that inspired it as part of @deancasreversebang. This fic is a thing of beauty from start to finish. In one version of the story of Dean and Cas, we find Castiel perpetually waiting in the desert, when a 26 year old Dean stumbles upon him drawn to the location mid-hunt. They must learn to trust each other, to figure out what's causing the push and pull that bonds them. The poetry of this fic, run through with this yearning devastating emotion on their journey together, coupled with the incredibly evocatively descriptions and research into the setting, come together to make the most gorgeous picture, the desert a place that seems desolate but is teeming with life. Much like the slowburn romance that flourishes between them. It also links back to post-canon in a way that is seeded so carefully and cleverly, and made my heart explode. It's funny, romantic, devastating, emotional, moving....I can't do justice to this fic with such a short snapshot, please read it for yourselves and come yell at me about it. It's so beautiful. shineforthee also has a great 9x06 fanfic gap one shot and an ongoing wip now too and I can't wait to read that! (Somehow need any more convincing? Check out @bloodydeanwinchester's Virga(e) liveblog).

It's all very complex by artichokeflower okay that was all very serious, so let's turn to a short and sweet smut fic that had me giggling gleefully throughout. 'After walking in on Dean's private time, Cas decides to do a little research and experimentation of his own and gets magically trapped in a book about sexual fantasies. And if that means Dean has to go in after him, well what are buddies for, right?' The thing that is just GOLDEN about this fic aside from the hot smut is the dry sense of humour, borderline French Mistake parody level porn and dialogue between Dean and especially Cas which just gets them so well...the cowboy scenes in particular. Glorious: “I’m sorry, Dean. That’s the end of the erotic violence. Are you hurt?” “Is there going to be any sex in your sexy fantasies?” Dean wheezed. “Not that the whole shoot out wasn’t fun. I just wasn’t expecting as much plot is all.” He coughed. That had probably sounded too eager.

Just Being and Just Having by Englandwouldfall I have recced before but is now complete!! This the post-canon fic series delves so incredibly beautifully into Dean and Cas’ history of miscommunication and gives them the chance to truly talk things out, finding themselves falling more deeply in love as they do so and understand their own mistakes but also what makes them work so well together when they’re no longer under Chuck’s thumb. Each chapter feels like therapy and a brain and heart massage! It sticks the landing so well and I just love these boys so much.

Something Happening Somewhen by allthismusic (@folkbloodbaths, art by @eggchef) aaaahhh time travel young Dean brought to the future to meet older Dean and Cas fic trope my beloved. A @deancaspinefest fic, Allthismusic is a fan of the trope too and this fic is a gorgeous tribute to it and the fics that came before. Cas saves 24yo Dean from an accident and brings him to the future when he witnesses what his life will be. Will Cas have to remove his memories to stop a paradox? Sweet and heartfelt, a joy to read.

Books, Pies, and Roommates by @seidenapfel (art by @kitshay) is a @deancaspinefest two-person love hexagon, with some excellently farcical misdirection. Cas moves in to the spare room of Dean's house, but he doesn't meet him, he meets Sam, as Dean is busy working. Cas is professor but helps his cousin out as a barista and his favourite customer is Deano. Dean's intrigued by the barista but he's not his online penpal and best friend Angel. Lines blur, connections are made, and hearts are gonna get broken...or are they?

Tag list under the cut, let me know if you'd like to be added! Please reblog <3

@dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

[techwrecker]

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗻'𝘀 𝗣𝗶𝗲

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Castiel has never had pie. Dean is flabbergasted.

Genre: fluff? slice of life? It's a short little glimpse into life at the bunker

Tags: SFW, could be canon tbh, no timeline, Dean loves pie, Sam is over his BS, Cas being an angel, Destiel if you squint, kid!Dean, super sweet ending, *not beta read*

Word Count: <3k

Warnings: N/A (please let me know if I missed any!)

Other: dividers by me & @thecutestgrotto (tysm!)

Blueberry, apple, cherry, peach, chocolate, coconut. So many flavors to choose from! Dean scanned the length of the display case, eyes growing wider each second. The Winchester brothers were on their way home after a vamp case in Illinois and Dean had finally managed to convince Sam to stop at “Betsy’s Pie Palace”, known for their extensive pie menu, baked daily.

“Sammy, you’re telling me not one of these pies is something you’d want to at least try?”

“I’ve told you a million times, dude,” Sam rolled his eyes as his pastry-drunk brother. “Pie is horrible for your health.” He checked his watch. It was 7:45pm. They still had another 5 hours to go before they arrived at the bunker. “Dean, can you hurry up? We can’t stay here forever, Cas is waiting on us.”

“You can’t rush a choice like this, Sammy. This is Sophie’s Choice but with pie.” Dean shot back, earning another eye roll from his younger brother.

“Hey sugar, what’ll it be?” the waitress called out with an out-of-state southern drawl. She wiped her hands down the skirt of her white 50’s style apron and adjusted her bright red rockabilly Victory Roll hairstyle.

Dean looked up in a slight panic. There were so many options. One of everything? Yeah right, not even Baby could carry that much pie. “How’s the apple?” he asked, leaning against the counter flirtatiously and giving the waitress the classic Dean Winchester Charm. The waitress met his eyes and Dean flashed her a smile.

“It’s not too bad, much like yourself,” she said, receptively as she blushed.

“Well if it’s as sweet as you are,” he glanced down at her name tag. “Beth, I think we’re in business.” Dean winked at her. She nodded and began to pull out the apple pan.

“Disgusting,” Sam muttered under his breath. He was practically tapping his foot with impatience at. His arms were folded across his chest with his watch turned to where he could watch the seconds tick by. 7:49.

“What can I say, Sammy? A guy’s gotta have his dessert after a hunt like that.”

After packing up a slice of apple, cherry, and chocolate crème, Beth rang up their total.

“It’ll be $9.85, darlin’,” she said, tying the handles of the plastic sack together.

Dean handed her a crumpled $10 out of his wallet.

“Keep the change,” he nodded as he took the bag from her.

“Just so you know,” She exclaimed after Dean as the Winchesters turned to walk out. “There’s a special ingredient in the cherry. I think you’ll really like it.” She winked and Dean smiled. Sam rolled his eyes, yet again. The towering brothers walked out and made their way back to the Impala.

Dean made his way to the passenger’s side and Sam gave him a quizzical look.

“Dude, PIE.” Dean tossed the keys across the roof to Sam. “For a college boy, you aren’t too bright.”

“Whatever, Dean.”

They sat down in the cab and Dean ripped open the plastic sack as Sam turned the key in the ignition. The impala roared to life. Dean popped open the styrofoam lid of the cherry slice and pulled out a scrap of paper. A bright red stain from the filling had crept onto the edge of the paper, causing Dean to lick his fingers.

“Oh-ho, sweet!” He shouted, a huge grin across his face. He held up the paper to Sam. Scrawled across it were 10 digits in perfect handwriting with a heart and a B at the end.

“Yeah Dean, because we’re definitely going to be back in this part of Missouri any time soon.” Sam said dryly.

“Whatever, man. You’re just a hater. And you don’t know that! I might make the trip by myself just for this pie,” Dean argued.

Sam pursed his lips instead of replying. Dean had been irritating in his usual big brother way the entire ride home. Sam pulled out onto the highway and reached over to turn up the music as Dean chowed down on his dessert. Much to Sam’s surprise, his brother didn’t even let a single cherry slip onto the seat.

The rest of the ride was fairly uneventful. No calls about a hunt in the middle of nowhere, nothing from Cas, not even a call from Jody or Bobby checking in on them. They stopped occasionally to fuel up or to hit the head in a grimy gas station bathroom that hadn’t been aired out in decades. Eventually, Dean fell asleep, head against the window as they closed in on Kansas. They didn’t get back to the bunker until around 5am.

“Dean,” Sam shut off the ignition and reached across the seat to slap his brothers shoulder with the back of his hand. He snorted awake. “We’re home.”

“5 more minutes?” Dean managed to get out, rubbing his eyes awake. He raised his head and squinted out the window into the sunshine that was creeping above the trees.

“Just help me, will you?” Sam stepped out of the car and opened the door behind his to gather his duffel and various weapons they had needed for the hunt. He loved hunting, but he was also glad to be home, to sleep in his own bed.

Thanks to their wide wingspan, the brothers were able to carry everything in one trip into the bunker. Heading down the winding staircase, they saw the ever-trenchcoated Castiel sitting at the backlit map table, reading a book. He looked up and raised his hand in greeting.

“Hello, Sam. Hello, Dean.” He smiled at them. “How did everything go?”

“Same old, same old. Few vamps goin’ to town. Nothin’ big.” Dean explained. “The real news is this!” He raised the plastic sack.

“What is that?” Castiel asked.

“Only the best invention, ever!” Dean smiled and set his stuff down on the table. He reached in and pulled out the remaining boxes. “I’m gonna grab a plate. If anybody touches this pie while I’m gone, you’re officially dead to me.” He made the “I’m watching you” motion with his fingers and pointed them once at Sam, and once at Castiel.

“I am confused.” The angel said as Dean left.

“It’s just pie, Castiel.” Sam explained.

“Oh, I see.”

“Whatcha reading?”

Cas lifted the tattered, green book off the table to show Sam the cover. It had the usual hallmark symbols of witchcraft and magic. The pentagrams, upside down crosses, symbols only Rowena could decipher.

“I was looking for ways to protect hunters from witch magic.” He said simply. “It’s been a highly unsuccessful venture.”

“Can’t win ‘em all I guess,” Sam offered lamely, exhausted from the drive.

“Back!” Dean raised the plate above his head and practically jogged back to the table.

“Okay, this has become an addiction. Three pieces in one day?” Sam wanted to say more but knew Dean was already a hopeless case.

“Listen, Sammy, you wouldn’t understand. Honestly, I don’t even know why I love pie so much. I just do,” Dean said as he began to transfer the piece from the box onto the plate.

The brothers sat down at the table, finally relaxing after the tiresome drive home. Cas followed suit, closing the witchcraft book to prioritize communion with his friends.

“I know why you love pie,” The angel said simply.

Sam and Dean whipped their heads toward him.

“What?” Dean said, picking up his fork in order to take his first bite of the flakey dessert.

“Your affinity for pie is built from childhood memories of your mother,” Cas said, still looking at Dean.

“Wow! It all makes sense!” Sam exclaimed, throwing his hands up into the air. “You like pie over everything else because it was the only dessert mom ever made! Dad told me she tried making a cake once and it was a disaster.”

“Shuddup. I like pie because pie is good. Ain’t got nothin’ to do with childhood memories or whatever.” Dean stared holes into the slice he had in front of him.

“Dean, I raised you from hell. Your soul is burned into the back of my vessel’s eyelids.” Cas looked across the table at Sam. Cas had a flair for the dramatic. “Pie is one of the very few pure childhood memories you have.”

Dean stuck his fork into the point of the pie and shoveled it into his mouth. “Gyoo guys fon’t dnow whad your ftalking aboud,” he barely managed to say around the mouthful. He swallowed the elephant-sized bite. “Pie is pie. Everybody loves it.”

Sam and Cas shared a knowing look. Whenever either one of them tried talking to Dean about his or Sam’s childhood, Dean always changed the conversation or turned to humor, telling Sam he’s making their life into a chick-flick. He hates chick-flicks. They looked back at Dean, still inhaling the one of the two pieces in front of him, neither one saying a word. It had almost disappeared in a matter of seconds.

“Anybody who hasn’t tried pie is a monster— I’d stake my life on it.” Dean said into the silence.

“Does that make me a monster?” Castiel tilted his head to the left and squinted at Dean from across the table as if he was trying to get a read on him. Angels weren’t made to fully understand humans, but Cas would be damned if he didn’t try.

“What?!” Dean’s jaw hung open. Sam silently thanked the heavens that his mouth wasn’t full of masticated dessert.

“You’ve never had pie?” He asked incredulously. “I mean, Dean always keeps it stocked in the fridge, and you’ve never had it?”

“Yes, Sam. I, an Angel of The Lord, have felt an intense desire to consume Dean Winchester’s practically holy pie despite the absence to physically nourish this vessel with food.” Cas said dryly.

Cas was practically glaring at Sam. He had really upped his sarcasm game in recent years, the brother would give him that.

He raised his eyebrows at Cas and held up his hands in innocence. “Okay, point taken.”

“No, no, no.” Sam and Castiel looked back at Dean. “This is just unacceptable. It’s… It’s downright unnatural. Cas, I don’t care if you’re an angel or the lowest demon there is. Everybody needs to have at least one slice of pie in their life.” He slid the plate in the angel’s direction in one fluid motion. It stopped directly in front of Cas.

Dean gave a proud look to his brother, boasting his skill. Sam just rolled his eyes.

The angel pushed back his chair to become eye level with the dessert. Noting that the crust did indeed appear to be quite flakey and the filling an overabundance of sugar, he carefully picked up the fork. Skeptically, he looked at Dean (who was almost as excited to see Castiel take his first bite of pie as he was to enter Betsy’s Pie Palace), and then to Sam (who honestly couldn’t care less. Logically, Cas doesn’t need to eat. Why Dean cares so much is beyond him.) and finally submerged the prongs in the slice. After digging out really only a baby-bite-sized piece, he began to lift the fork to his mouth.

“What, so Mr. Angel of The Lord can’t handle a bigger bite than that? I’ve seen bees bigger than that, Cas.” Dean teased. He knew he could push Castiel’s buttons more than anybody and actually manage to get away with it.

Cas closed his eyes in annoyance and while staying silent, stabbed the pie once again to fit more onto the fork. He made sure it was enough to satisfy the human whom he, now with considerable regret, raised from perdition. Had he known saving Dean Winchester was going to cause him this much grief in the long run, he might have let Dean stay down there another year or two and maybe without quite so much enthusiasm. Dean was still anxiously awaiting Castiel’s first bite, not unlike a young angel in the storehouses of Heaven (it makes more sense in Enochian) and Castiel could not help but let his friend’s excitement wash over him in golden warmth. He knew the pie would only taste of molecules and the spaces between, but did not want to let Dean down, regardless.

He stopped the fork just short of his lips. “Dean, I feel the need to remind you that angels can’t-“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. ‘Can’t taste food like humans do.’ Just eat it already, Cas.” Dean interrupted.

Castiel bit down on the fork. Just as he suspected, there was no “food” flavor, like when he was human. It just felt like a lump of structured mush on his vessel’s tongue.

“That was,” Cas began after swallowing. “A neutral experience.”

Dean deflated in his chair.

“It was worth a shot, anyways,” Sam tried to remedy the situation. “Isn’t there some sort of power-up you can use to taste food again?”

Cas thought in silence for a moment. He supposed there was memory-reaching, but angels really have no use for that outside of getting information.

“Yes, I believe there is. I’ve never used it to explore a pleasant experience before, but it’s worth a shot.” The angel said, looking at Dean.

“Well, what are you waiting f-“

Castiel pressed his first two fingers lightly to Dean’s forehead, immediately searching his friend’s mind for his first memories of pie. Both the angel and Dean were being zipped back through the timeline of Dean’s life. He felt the victory of last week after a hunt when Dean was able to grab the last piece of coconut cream at a gas station. Then disappointment of years ago filled his chest when Sam had brought cake instead of pie, claiming “it was close enough.” Feeling himself putting up a front of confidence, Castiel realized he was in nervous, 17-year-old Dean’s shoes, staring across at a girl of similar age. The two were in a diner, about to share a slice of cherry as an innocent first date. He was so young.

At last, Castiel reached Dean’s first memory of his beloved pie. He found himself staring up at Mary Winchester, in Dean’s stead. He was up to her waist, sitting down. Castiel was bad at approximating ages— side effect of the whole being-an-angel thing— but he knew it was an early memory. She turned around and set a large piece of pie on the table, in front of him. Dean’s eyes, and Castiel’s by proxy, widened as Mary began to speak. He felt his mouth salivating with anticipation.

“Happy Birthday, Dean. I can’t believe my little guy is 4 years old, now!” She smiled at her son and reached down to ruffle his hair. “I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, Mom!” Little Dean squeaked back.

Castiel felt Dean reach over to Mary in an attempt to wrap his tiny arms around her legs in a hug.

“Go on,” she laughed. “I made my favorite flavor- Apple. I hope you like it!”

Their gaze fell back onto the pie. Gingerly, so as not to drop a single piece, he brought the fork to his mouth. Flavor exploded across Castiel’s taste buds. Sweetness of the sugar, a gentle cinnamon spice, tartness from the apples, savoriness of the buttery crust. It was the perfect dessert.

Castiel retracted his hand from Dean’s forehead and looked at him with a certain softness.

“I understand it’s value now,” he said simply.

Dean looked up at him, slightly bewildered, trying to laugh it off. “Whoa, dude. A little warning next time would be nice,” Dean said, quickly wiping the tear about to fall down his face. He either didn’t remember telling Cas to get a move on or he was just trying to change the subject. He sniffed and cleared his throat, trying to hide the fact that he got emotional upon Cas digging up such a deep memory. Sam hadn’t seen Dean tear up in a long time, leaving him wondering what Cas had seen.

“I wanted to understand pie, and now I do. Thank you, Dean. I now know why pie has such a big role in your life. I would like to try it again, with your memories in mind. I believe it will be… flavorful to me, now, although I’m not quite sure that’s the right word,” Cas explained.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“With Dean’s memories at the forefront of my palette, I should be able to taste pie in a similar way that he does— At least for a while.” Cas explained. “Let me try again,” he pleaded as he put his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

Still somewhat in his head, Dean was brought back to the bunker when he felt the angel’s warm hand.

“Yeah, okay. Sure, Cas.” Dean agreed.

Sam yanked the plate toward where Castiel was standing.

Unlike before, Cas loaded the fork with pie. It was so big, it almost fell off before it made it to his mouth.

Nostalgia intermingled with the chunks of apple and the taste of tenderness only a mother can give swirled around his mouth as he chewed. Castiel sat back down next to Dean and relaxed into the back of the chair.

“Yes,” he began, satisfaction dripping in his voice. “Pie is delicious.”

Dean shot Sam an “I-told-you-so” look, reached across to the plate, and polished off the rest of the slice.

Dean never explained what he saw, or rather what Castiel made him remember, to his brother and Sam never asked. All his brother knew was that it had to have been a good memory for it to affect Dean’s entire view on a singular dessert. Pie, just like his mother, will always share a home on the shelf of Dean's heart.

And Castiel will always hold Dean's heart in his soul.

A/N: this is just a lil thing i wrote last year and wanted to get out of my drafts already! do NOT do the math of traveling. I have no idea what it would actually be. Title is a pun if you couldn't tell lol

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[alphacentaurinebula]

Fanfic recs - AU edition!

In honour of You're the Bad Guys (E), my Cold War spies AU where Crowley is KGB and Aziraphale is MI6 and they're stationed in 1980s Berlin, I thought I would recommend a few of my favourite AUs.

Half Agony, Half Hope(E) by @gorgeousundertow - a regency romance AU with lots of the real life political unrest, class and privilege all providing a great replacement for the Heaven/Hell Celestial System. The regency period is often portrayed just balls and poshos in empire waistlines, but actually it was a hugely tumultuous period. The disenfranchised classes were demanding better pay, better conditions and the vote, whilst those in power feared any concession would reduce their own power and privilege. The result was some horrific state violence, and some of the most oppressive laws in British history (though there's a lot of competition there...!). It's always nice to see a historical AU that engages with the period so well, and uses it to make Crowley and Aziraphale's romance all the sweeter. One of the only fics I've ever read as a WIP (yes, I still want you to read my WIP, I am a complete hypocrite).

A Love Story with Detective Interruptions (T) by @fremulon - a 1930s AU series (2 works), where Aziraphale is an amateur sleuth in the vein of Miss Marple, exonerating the wrongfully accused (ie, Crowley), and solving house party murders willy nilly. The plots are based on Golden Age of Detective Fiction books (Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Chistie, specifically) and are delightful. The romance is definitely slow burn, but absolutely lovely.

South Downs (E) by @summerofspock - Crowley and Aziraphale star in a historical Bridgerton-esque miniseries, except it's gay. (I would watch the fuck out of that, just saying). Sometimes art mirrors life - sometimes life mirrors art! I love this one and I would legitimately like to watch the TV show they're supposed to be in.

Sit Tight, Take Hold (E) by @nieded - OK this one is not even remotely historical and, like, I hate cars and formula one holds zero interest to me...and yet I INHALED this formula one AU with Crowley and Aziraphale as drivers on opposing teams. Like...I really cared who won...a car race???? Features Gabriel and Sandalphone being true twats, which I must admit I enjoy.

Slow Show (E) by @mia-ugly - And finally, of course, Slow Show. Sure this one is not exactly an undiscovered gem but I still love it and if, in some wild, unreasonable twist of fate you haven't read it, you definitely should!

...plus one last rec - The Leap, by - @friendofcarlottathis is a Destiel fic, not Good Omens. But it is a historical romance AU about Cold War Berlin (in the 1960s, rather than 1980s, and there are no spies, but it is SO excellent for historical detail, especially life in East Germany). And in my opinion you only need to watch a few Castiel and Dean clips on youtube and you're ready to read Destiel AUs. I have only watched a season or so of Supernatural myself 🤷‍♀️

What do you think, have you read any of these? Any favourites? If anyone has other AU's to recommend, especially historical ones, please do!

[demons-i-get]

What's in a Name

Destiel fic let's gooooooooo I actually wrote this like, a year ago, but it's not my usual style and a little bit outside my comfort zone so I was never sure about posting it but here we are! I'm still nervous 😅 Let me know what you think! But also pls be gentle with me I am just a litol guy <3 Characters: Dean, Castiel Pairings: Dean/Castiel Warnings: vague sex? Like, it's happening but there's not really any details and it's definitely not explicit at all. Otherwise I can't think of anything else. Please don't hesitate to let me know if I should add anything, though! Word count: 1,324 Ao3 FFN

~ ~ ~

Castiel doesn’t understand human ‘pet names’ and ‘terms of endearment’ as well as he would like. He knows them, has heard them and parroted them and tried so hard to understand, but he just cannot grasp why. 

He does not understand why he should call Dean anything other than his name, his name which means love and safety and protection and home and strength and power and all that Dean is to him and more. Why would some random word be more special, how could a word that millions of other, simple people use on their other, simple partners mean more than Dean, when that single syllable, those four little letters, are unique and singularly his own. When the sound of Dean rolling off his tongue is the sound of divinity. 

But then. 

Oh, but then. 

Then Dean greats him in the morning as he stumbles into the bunker’s kitchen with a cup of coffee prepared just the way he likes it still warm and fresh and steaming as he wraps his fingers around it with a soft, “Good morning, sunshine,” as he places a gentle, almost reverent kiss on Castiel’s forehead. 

And Castiel feels his chest go warm and soft and okay, maybe he can understand it a little better now. 

Then Castiel gets hurt on a hunt and Dean is right there beside him, putting pressure on the wound and getting Castiel’s blood all over his hands and shirt but his eyes are wide, and his voice is shaky and terrified as he says, “Hey, hey, Cas, c’mon, stay with me, you gotta stay with me, babe,” and presses their foreheads together and he is begging with Castiel to hold on just a little longer because help is on the way “you just need to hold on a little longer for me, angel, you can’t go to sleep yet, just a little longer.” 

And when Castiel wakes up in a hospital bed minutes or hours or days later with Dean’s voice calling him “babe” and “angel” still ringing in his ears and he cannot feel the pain of his wounds because he is filled too much with the warmth and softness and love from Dean’s words to know the feel of anything else, he thinks maybe he does get it now, maybe he is beginning to understand why when Dean says those words with such softness and love and adoration. 

Then Dean is hurt and Castiel is panicking because he doesn’t have his Grace anymore, he is painfully, pitifully, uselessly human and he doesn’t know what to do but Dean is holding his hand and making their eyes meet and he is comforting and reassuring Castiel which is wrong, it is wrong because Dean is the one that is hurt and Castiel should be comforting and reassuring him, but Dean is squeezing his hand and saying, “hey, I’m alright, darlin’, it isn't much more than a scratch,” and he’s pressing a kiss to Castiel’s cheek and showing him, “look, it’s already pretty much stopped bleeding, darlin’, I've had much worse than this and come out the other side no worse for wear, yeah?” and Castiel thinks that he is burning bleeding breaking because Dean is hurt and he is bleeding but he is also right and Castiel knows this but he is still freaking out because Dean is hurt and he cannot heal him. 

And later, as Castiel runs his hands along the bandage he had wrapped so carefully around Dean’s chest to cover the jagged slash across his breast and ribs that he knows will scar, as he lays there with Dean’s head tucked into the crook of his neck and their legs tangled together within the sheets and wishes wishes wishes that he still had his Grace, he remembers how even bleeding and in pain Dean had called him “darlin’,” had said that word with such gentle, loving reassurance and how just hearing that word fall from Dean’s lips had calmed his racing heart, and he knows why, now, he has to because it cannot feel better than this, cannot possibly mean more than this, here, now. 

(Castiel has always spoken Dean’s name like a prayer, has always greeted him with, “Hello, Dean,” like worship, has always known their bond as something sacred and holy and sublime. Castiel is devoted to humanity and Dean is the alter at which he kneels because Dean Winchester is everything good and right and divine about humanity.) 

(Castiel is a Fallen Angel of the Lord, but he did not care and he did not regret a single action he had taken nor choice he had made that got him here because he knew what it was to feel true, human love for someone and what it was to be loved truly, deeply, selflessly in return.) 

(Castiel was kissing Dean, trailing his fingers along Dean’s scars, tracing constellations between the freckles scattered across Dean’s body like stardust. He was drinking in the color of Dean’s eyes, olive and emerald and gold and amber like sunlight filtering through the trees to dance along the forest floor, like light refracting through a glass of Dean’s favorite aged whiskey, like starlight casting shadows through a stained-glass window. Castiel would kiss and worship and pray and love until Dean could no longer doubt his devotion, until Castiel had wrung every last drop of self-loathing from his body and convinced Dean that he was worthy of being saved, he was worthy of being loved, he was worthy of living, until Dean believed that he did not have to earn their love.) 

(Castiel would praise and worship and prostrate himself on the ground at Dean’s feet until Dean no longer thought himself expendable, no longer thought himself nothing more than another obstacle to be placed between his loved ones and anything that wished them harm, no longer thought himself something to be used up and broken down and thrown away with disgust like one might discard rancid meat.) 

Then Castiel was unraveling Dean, slowly, carefully, one gorgeous, gossamer thread at a time with his hands and his mouth and Dean was writhing beneath him, rendered breathless by his steady ministrations and Dean was breathing his name like a prayer, gasping it into Castiel’s shoulder like a plea, letting it tumble from his lips like a hymn as he cries out and trembles and comes completely undone and Castiel is kissing bruises into Dean’s skin, marking his flesh and drowning in the taste of him and Castiel is lost in Dean’s ecstasy, he is flying with wings built from all of Dean’s sinful noises and loving touches and then he is nipping Dean’s ear and whispering, “my beloved, my righteous man, ol monons, ozien, obza,” slipping into Enochian, calling and claiming and consoling Dean all at the same time (my heart, mine own, my other half). 

And then, oh and then, Castiel finally knew why, finally understood, as he and Dean lay tangled together, warm and full and sated, as Dean turns to him and asks what the Enochian means and Castiel explains, as Dean’s face melts like sugar on Castiel’s tongue into a soft, warm look of such utter love and adoration and tenderness that Castiel forgets how to breathe, as Dean watches him with those honey-whiskey-sage-pine irises still lit from within by an all-encompassing bliss, as Dean’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles and dimples appear at the corners of his kiss-swollen lips and this, Castiel knows, is why, now he understands because it is all about the way Dean looks at him so lovingly, so trustingly, so bashfully at hearing that he is something Castiel treasures and loves and adores and Castiel will spend the rest of their lives branding that look on Dean’s face into his mind just as he burns the words into Dean’s skin with every kiss and bite and breath they ever share. 

[im-not-a-pleeb]

SPIRK MOMENTS 💛💙

#27 Mindshadow

Part 2

Sooo the romulan spy (telepathic, btw) knows what Spock means to Jim. And this is directly after Kirk and Spock made out like crazy ‼️

Again, he doesn't want to touch Christine

Bro is having flashbacks to almost marrying a woman 😭😭😭

I'm sorry it's just so blatantly obvious in this book that he doesn't like women. Like, he is not having it.

By everyone do you mean Spock?

I MEAN PLEASE WE GET IT

She knows 😌

Trust me bro, we know

Guys PLEASE. You know the Japanese thing where instead of saying "I love you" you should say "the moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" THATS WHAT THIS IS GIVING

Also the destiel s15 thing 😭

I just know Jim is absolutely chuffed to have Spock back and well again

[anyreiart]

Dadstiel MiniBang 2024

For @dadstielminibang 2024

I'm so excited to finally post my Dadstiel Fic! It was a tons of fun to write and I hope you guys will like it! Also a million thanks to my best friends, who beta-ed the fic for me and stood at my side, cheering me on! I love you @queerwolfsstuff, @punk-is-notdead and @eyesofatragedy67! You guys rock!

A million kisses and hugs go to my wonderful artist @aceing-on-the-cake who gifted me with beautiful art for this story! It's like they were in my brain and transferred what I wrote into art!! Please visit their masterpost and leave a ton of likes: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58218946

and here:

Something To Fight For

Written by: anyrei

Art by: @aceing-on-the-cake

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, OC kid character, Rowena MacLeod, Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Canon Universe, Apocalyptic World, Demons, Canon-Typical Violence, Child trauma, Fluff and Angst, Domestic destiel, Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, apple pie life as a reward, cuz they deserve it

Summary: When Cas goes to an apocalyptic parallel world to find an ingredient for a spell to cure Sam Winchester from a curse, he finds a little girl is the only survivor in a world dominated by demons. Saving her will start the journey of his own true happiness.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58142587/chapters/148035586

[carolinagirl80]

I am not attacking, I am just trying to understand, I promise. So none of you believe Jensen when he repeatedly says that he loves and respects Misha as a friend and you don’t believe Se Hinton, when she says that both Jensen and Misha are very close friends. Se Hinton has no bias for either j2 friendship or Jenmish friendship. So if you don’t believe your supposed fave (Jensen) and don’t believe someone who actually is more familiar with him than, Lynn, Vinnie or any of Lynn or Vinnie’s friend then who would who believe to make you guys realise that Jensen actually likes Misha and views him as a friend

Hey anon, going to try and answer this and not sound snippy! 🤣 These subjects tend to fire me up, so if I end up coming across that way, please know it’s not directed at you personally!

I’m not saying they aren’t friends at all today. I’m not saying they were never at least somewhat close friends. I’m just saying there has definitely been a marked change there in the past 5-6 years.

I believe it all comes back to Destiel and the more and more out of hand the fans got and the more Misha made inappropriate comments, the more uncomfortable it started making Jensen. The more Jensen denied the ship, the more his words were twisted to make it sound like he said things he wasn’t saying. I think that just caused a rift there.

You can often see it in Jensen’s body language when Misha is around. I’ll bring up that hug at SF this year until the day I die. Also, at the Geeks for Harris event, many people said Jensen looked like he wanted to die. He’s never quite relaxed around him anymore. It’s speculated that he was so stressed by the JenMish panels at a couple of JiBs that he got quite intoxicated to even be able to do the panels. Some even believe that one of them was possibly a sort of mental breakdown.

Something also has happened to where Misha avoids the topic of Destiel and the doesn’t make inappropriate comments as much as possible when Jensen is around. He only lets that loose when he’s alone at overseas cons now.

Of course, they are still friends with each other on some level. I just think that relationship took a hit. Even if they hated each other, it’s not like you wouldn’t see that anyway. Fan service is a thing.

[actual-changeling]

uh.

uh hey guys. i know this is a few hours early but has anyone pointed out yet that the final fifteen are a little bit (a lot) like the destiel confession?

aziraphale, ready to sacrifice himself to safe the person he loves, tasted happiness and then was immediately pulled to superturbohellheaven and crowley was left behind in the silence, all alone.

hey guys- guys why are you holding a gun to my head guys please you know i'm right HEAR ME OUT-

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

To the SPN fans that are hating on good omens rn bc of the leak, I hope you choke. I've seen some really nasty shit today from some of my (now unfollowed) followers whom I followed for spn content. So let's make one thing clear from actual posts ive seen today:

-Saying that the "wrong angels kissed", is...homophobic. I was with destiel from beginning to end and yeah we were completely shafted, but it's not okay to then say that other gay couples in media aren't allowed to kiss just because they aren't the ones you thought were hot. Jesus christ didn't think I needed to write that one down for ya-bo burnham

-I saw so much fatphobia about how Castiel deserved a kiss more than Aziraphel bc "he has far more sex appeal." Wtf wtf wtf. How do you live with yourselves saying that shit?You can pry Micheal Sheens body type Aziraphel out of my cold dead hands, you CW brainwashed morons!

-hate against the author for some reason, no one is willing to give specifics about it, but I think the majority of them maintain that GO is not good rep because they didn't kiss and now they are claiming pandering or something? Honestly that guy has only ever stood with the writers guild and queer people his whole career from what I find so I don't think it's fair whatever hate they are spouting. He isnt even saying he is upset with fans that saw or shared the video. Hes being super nice about it!

-I will say, non of us SPN fans have a fucking leg to stand on when it comes to hating something bc of the authors, OK. I saw someone saying the writing for spn was better and I can say you did not watch the show. I loved spn but don't do the late Terry Pratchett like this. He did nothing wrong

-on that same ish strain, as an ace person who thrives off queerplatonic relationships in media, maybe they kiss, I dunno. I just have to wait until the season comes out. Not 1 SPN fan gets to bitch about GO asexualty rep when SPN never even tried that route with any of its characters. But also ace characters are allowed to kiss, so you can write them that way of you want and interpret them that way if you want still. This is your viewing experience.

-this leak is truly not the same as the SPN yo a ti leak, solely bc the episode hasn't aired yet. "None of you GO fans would have survived the yo a ti leak." No I think you wouldn't bc the spn leak was clinging to an already mangled straw, while the angel's in GO are queer already. Queer queer queer and no amount of kissing or lack thereof is going to change that. We have no idea what happens in that episode of GO, but we saw the creators butcher the only moment in the show that could have meant anything real for queer viewers in SPN.

-"SPN crowly was kissing dudes first so this one is not that impressive". I see two cakes. One was made with the intent to make gay people look evil, but over time got kinda funny and a little better bc gay people liked it, and the other was about telling an interesting story about how love is so important, especially at the end of the world, and gay people liked that one too! So for me it's YaY two cakes!

-again the anti aziraphel is so plainly just fatphobia. You have no excuses. Sorry you don't think someone who looks like a slightly chubby micheal sheen could ever get kissed by someone who looks like David tennant, but you are not only wrong, you are also childish.

OK I'm done. Go watch good omens s2 when it comes out for my fucking sanity please. Or don't if all you are going to do is try to rip it apart like you do to all media that tries to be better.

[dontlikeconflict]

Silence Over Coffee (short destiel drabble)

Cas take a moment to look at Dean Winchester. He’s holding this tenseness about him that he never seems to quite get rid of, a stance of masculinity that he grips with both hands to get through every day. Right now he’s pouring creamer in his coffee, and haphazardly tipping in sugar, not seeming to care if he uses too much. “I love you” Cas thinks, and Dean looks up almost as if he hears. Cas thinks about saying it like he’s thought so many times before, but the moment passes. Dean makes a joke, Cas doesn't get it. He laughs anyway.

Dean makes a joke, Cas laughs, and Dean hopes he can always make Cas laugh, it seemed like he was always the only one who could. He wants to spend his life, gently pulling laughs from Cas, a substitute for all the things he truly wants to say, a substitute for the kind of honesty that would shatter Dean.

Sometimes a part of Cas (maybe the part that's an angel, maybe the part that defied his angelic side) wants to take control of Dean's life. Play God in the most blasphemous way. He would steer Dean away from all that harms him, make sure he is warm and safe and loved, even if that love was facilitated by distance (as God or a father’s love always seems to be). But Cas isn't God, or a father. He is a messy excuse of a creature, and all he wants is to be up close. To run his eyes over every part of Dean, as if they were hands, and know him more every day.

Cas stares so much. It makes Dean uncomfortable at times, not because it's bad (not really) but because he doesn't know what to do with it. He can't look back for too long, the intensity burns him, but he can't say a word. He looks at his coffee cup instead, giving it all his misplaced attention as he takes a sip (its too sweet)....

When he looks up Cas is still looking, he’s so obvious it hurts. Truly it is not Cas’ gaze that bothers him, but the forever-watching eyes of everyone else. He’ll never be allowed to enjoy love, there are too many anchors, too many eyes, too many claws. Dean is a survivor, but he does not get to live. 

The waitress comes over, one of the men is bold, flirty, nothing she hasn't seen before, but the other guy is unreadable, looking at the bold man with a look that could be love or hatred, depending on the angle. Neither of them orders food, just more coffee. 

Cas watches Dean flirt with the waitress and wonders if his vessel is a barrier. If he forced his Grace into a beautiful woman would this be easier? It would. But for a long time now, this body has become Cas’ home. It isn't Jimmy Novak, it isn't a vessel, this is Castiel’s body. This is his home, and god (please), he wants Dean to love it as it is. He wants to beg for it, but he knows that's not what Dean needs, knows it wouldn't work. Maybe Cas should do it anyway, just to be honest. Just for something real between them.

I love you, I would go with you anywhere, even if it's just this diner, right now, drinking coffee.