#like obviously her interactions with christian seem more genuine but still

[cerealbishh]

"I give you what I can, Andre." // "I love you, until the end of time."

🎥: @starcuffedjeans

[roboromantic]

speaking of religious stuff time 2 talk about the wedding

so ok I knew my dad’s fiancee is a member of the United Methodist Church and that he’s joined them. and I think I wrote something before about how painful it was to see my dad just casually dismiss the extreme fundamentalism HE RAISED US IN. like I’m sure he’s been going through his own process of unlearning stuff and figuring out his own religious journey

but also. felicia was kinda The driving force behind our fundamentalist upbringing and after the divorce he more or less backslid and eventually stopped going to church. partly bc they got rid of the preacher and the whole church started going in a direction he wasn’t fond of but my point is that if religion was THAT important to him, he almost certainly could’ve found somewhere else to go long before he met his fiancee

so it feels like a red flag to me that he started getting more religious once he started dating her. it SHOULDN’T, I mean obviously people change to accommodate their loved ones and I highly doubt his wife was like, pressuring him into joining bc she’s infinitely more chill than felicia

but basically all this to say that I knew the wedding was gonna be at their church but it was really surprising to me just how Christian it was? my dad’s been a bit more outwardly Christian but neither he nor his wife have really made a big deal out of it so when their vows genuinely sounded like those memes about having Jesus as a third it was really shocking to me

and I think part of it is definitely due to me being raised CoC, I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that people can be devout casual Christians, if that makes sense.   I guess it’s almost kinda the opposite of what that post was saying - practicing Christianity WAS very much a cultural thing that permeated every aspect of my life growing up, so the idea that one can be Christian without actually seeming (to me, anyway) to do anything Christian outside of maybe holidays & life events Does Not Compute.         It’s something I’m still trying to unlearn.

anyway the stuff by the pastor was a bit uncomfortable but more or less what I was expecting so it didn’t really bother me

(btw I keep referring to her as my dad’s wife bc I mean, technically yeah she’s my step-mom and she’s a very nice woman and I have nothing against her, but she’s not exactly going to be occupying a “motherly” role in my life. also it just feels Weird)

at the reception her family invited us to visit the church some time and asked us if we had a “home church” or st and me (Jewish) and my brothers (pagan and atheist(?)) just kinda looked at each other and were like “not at the moment”

idk how exactly one’s supposed to handle that but I don’t think it’ll come up too often since I doubt I’m going to be interacting with any of her family members besides her mom (whom I’ve met a few times already and has Also not been pushy about religion) and maybe her sister.

as the groom’s kids we had a few guests come up and mingle and among them was a couple from a church we used to go to; my dad’s stayed in touch with them for a while bc the husband’s also into music stuff but it was Mildly Terrifying to realize I haven’t seen these people in over a decade and they could deadname me at any second or make a big deal about my transition.  luckily neither of those things happened (that I know of anyway) but. hhhh.

last thing isn’t actually super related to religion but my dad met his wife through this German band they’re both in, so ofc the other members played at the reception in full gear and invited us to do various dances   and it really caught me off guard when they were like “okay this time we’re going to Schunklen” (or something to that effect.) At the time it sounded like they said “shuckling” and I was like.   huh.   obviously Yiddish and German are related and it didn’t take long to realize that they almost certainly come from the same kinda root word that meant st like “swaying” but boy did it throw me for a loop

[do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger]

EXT. The Roof (Winter) - Sunset

Not Just Attracted to Women!Peter Maximoff x Fem and Not Just Attracted to Men!Reader

Based off of a dream I recently had: Peter and Y/N have a conversation on the roof of Xavier's in mid-December. Peter accidentally lets it slip that he might not be straight, and he is afraid that Y/N will think less of him because of it because this is the 80s. Y/N reveals that she is also not straight, and is saddened by the fact that Peter could think that she could ever hate him- especially for that. She calls him wonderful. Feelings ensue. Also, a touch of Cherik at the end because I give the people what they want.

Warnings: Swearing, Peter cries, internalized homophobia (this is the 80s-ish and Peter uses the word 'queer' in a kind of incorrect and kind of offensive manner, but it was internalized homophobia and not actually intended to be mean to anyone but himself so I forgive him), a touch of angst but mostly fluff, Charles called you two "children" even though you are obviously not, Erik is happy that his son has someone that cares about him the way you do, Peter is insecure but not super blunt about it, Peter has been deprived of being adored his entire life, bad writing, I mention a serial killer twice, historical inaccuracy because the word queer was still a slur so yeah.

A/N: This is literally the first thing I have ever written so please be nice to me, I wrote this instead of an essay. I would love a comment of any kind, even if it's just a heart emoji or something, and constructive criticism would be highly appreciated. Also 'N/N' stands for nick-name.

(Ok, so, full discloser: the format is odd. The bullet points represent dialogue, and the only dialogue is between you two love birds. The first bullet point is Peter, the second is Y/N, the third is Peter, and so on.)

“I dunno, the whole ‘liking people’ thing has always been weird for me.”

“How do you mean?"

“Pppffftt- 'how do you mean,' what are you, Shakespeare or somethin’?”

“Yeah, because that’s the era when ‘how do you mean' would have been a popular term. Ok, what do you mean?”

“Just- when other people were liking people I never really was?”

He was gesturing wildly and avoiding eye contact, as always. He wasn't uncomfortable with eye contact, he just got bored easily in conversations, he needed to keep himself occupied. In this situation that meant staring at the red and green lights covering the rest of the roof, the snowy trees all over the yard, and a holly garland around the gate. Peter wasn't Christian, but man, did he love their Christmas decorations.

“Like… now? In school?”

“Well- yeah… but also when I was younger. And I never liked the right people? Or... liked them in the right way?”

“So you’ve never liked anyone.”

“No, no… I definitely have. It was just… weird! I don't-”

His hands dropped to his side in defeat.

“I don’t think it’s that out of the ordinary. I would tell you if it was. Also, if it was... 'weird', like you said, that wouldn’t mean it was necessarily bad.”

He hadn’t really heard what she said, he was too busy pondering what his next sentence would be. When she wasn't speaking, he was rambling.

"I had some of the normal crap… like in movies when they talk about the fluttery stomach junk. I've had that around a few girls I've been friends with, also that phase with the boy stuff, a-"

“Wait, what phase with the boy stuff?”

“Like- when you’re in middle school or whatever and you're gay for a second.”

His phrasing was a joke, but the statement as a whole was not.

“…‘Gay for a second’?”

“…Yeah?”

“Hmmm..."

"Is that- not-"

"I don't think that is... 'normal'... per-say..."

“Oh… Really?”

His heart sunk.

“…Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“…Mhm.”

“…Shit.”

He suddenly looked almost embarrassed. He shifted his posture, seemingly trying to shrink into himself.

“Do you... wanna chat about it?”

Panic started to slowly rise in him.

“Um- forget I said anything.”

“Why?”

Something in him said to go on the "defense". He did not appear as calm as he was intending to.

“I’m not- gay! or anything. I like girls! I do!”

She put her hand on his arm.

“Hey- look at me for a second. We are not in court, and I never 'accused' you of being gay. That would be a very funny reality TV show, but not what is happening right now. Listen, theoretically if you were gay that wouldn’t be bad! And I wouldn’t be… whatever you.. think that I would be? I mean- however you are afraid I would act in a negative reaction to it? I would try to be here for you, and be as supportive as possible.”

He didn’t believe her.

“Ok, sure.”

“Peter.”

“What? You’re going to tell me that you would honestly be friends with a queer person- be friends with me if I was... not... normal?”

She was taken aback by his tone, the word he had used, and the way he said it, felt like a weight dropping on her shoulders.

“Oh. would you… not?”

It was her turn to seem nervous.

“What?”

“Would you- stop being friends with someone for liking someone that they… I don’t know… shouldn’t... would be the word I guess?”

Why, in this situation, was she nervous? Oh. His fear was replaced with guilt.

“No.”

“Ok.”

“So… are you… do you… why were you scared?”

“... Why were you?”

She expected a joke from him, something along the lines of “touché".

“Are you… gay?”

“No.”

Yeah, he didn’t believe her.

“Uh-huh”

“Really, I’m not. I’ve liked boys, but also... I've had feelings for girls. I’m not… straight. So I just want to let you know that it’s okay if you aren’t too.”

“I never s-“

She smiled at him with a bit of pity, she had been there. The self-loathing, the feeling of walking on minefields with so many people in your life.

“You are…”

She paused.

“I am… what?”

“Give me a second I’m trying to find the perfect word.”

“… Okay?”

“Wonderful.”

That was not exactly the word he was expecting. Like, at all.

“Huh?”

“That’s the word. Wait- let me start over. You gotta look me in my eyes as I say it, because it’s gonna be really poetic.”

“Uh… should I be scared?”

“No. Maybe a little. No.”

“… Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You are… wonderful.”

“Oh... Thanks?“

He looked away again, to be honest, he was a bit uncomfortable. He rarely received compliments, especially ones that seem so... genuine.

“I’m not finished, look back at me, just for a second. You are so wonderful- and I will support you as whatever you are! I want you to know that I can- I can barely even think of something you could do that would make me genuinely hate you- like… maybe if you Dahmer-ed people or like chopped up a-“

He found this was amusing, yet disturbing.

“Y/N?”

“Sorry- I just- the fact that you thought, even for a second, that I could hate you… is just-“

“I’m sorry”

“No! Stop it. Don’t be sorry.”

She stared at him expectantly.

“What do you want me to-“

“Take it back! The sorry!”

“How?”

“Say you aren’t sorry”

“N/N-“

“Peter.”

“Ok. I’m, ya know, not sorry.”

“Good. You shouldn’t be”

“You’re weird.”

“Yuh-huh. Says the most likely, from the little information I've gathered, bisexual in denial who also happens to be the fastest boy on earth who had to slow down exponentially to interact with other people who also, also, happens sitting on a roof in the dead of winter with me.”

“What’s by smexual?”

Something about the way he attempted to repeat her words must have been hilarious, he thought, because here she was, sitting in front of him, in a fit of childish giggles. He would smile if he weren't so confused.

“No- that’s not- what I said- it’s… wait!”

“What?”

“You’re tryna get me off topic!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Am not!”

“Are t- shit.”

“HAHA! Victory is a sweet dessert... wait is that even the saying? Still, I win you lose, nerd.”

“Ok, okay! go on.”

She was attempting to gather herself to give off a less jokey aura. It was half working, the "am not! are too!" argument a few moments ago made it hard for him to take her seriously, but he could tell it was important to her that he did, so he tried his best.

“You have to look at me again. just for a second.”

“I sw-”

“Just do it? Please?”

His attempt to put up a fight was thwarted by her small "please". He was pathetic.

“Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You…”

“Me… or- wait- I…”

“Are w-“

“Wonderful, yeah yeah. just get to the n-”

“No.”

“… No?”

“When you say it it doesn’t encapsulate it. It sounds silly.”

“Ok little miss ‘you art thou wonderful’, how would you have me say it?”

“I am you wonderful?”

“What?”

“You called me ‘little miss you are you wonderful’ what does that-“

“Ok! Would you just- shut up and call me wonderful one more time, please?”

She looked at him and blinked. That sentence surely came off as less ironic than intended.

“You are wonderful.”

She grabbed his face, in a half-joking manner. Her grab smushed his cheeks and she couldn't help but laugh a bit when she did it. Even though it was clearly a bit, he was still flustered.

“W-“

She shook him a bit.

"Shut up 'cause I'm about to say some beautiful and true shit. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are absolutely, unchangingly, and irrevocably wonderful and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, Maximoff.”

After saying what she would (in 40 years or so) recall as a painfully John Green-ish statement in her blunt and matter-of-fact manner, she let go of her semi-ironic hold on his pink cheeks. Were his cheeks pink because it was absolutely freezing, or because his heart was beating faster than he had ever (and would ever, mind you) run, you ask? No comment.

“Wow.”

“Wow what.”

“You do say it better than I do.”

“Did you like how I stressed different parts of the sentence each time? I thought that was a nice detail.”

“Wow.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Wow.”

Did his voice just... break a little?

“Peter?”

“Uh- yeah?”

Was he a little... sniffle-y? She was now very concerned.

“Are you okay?!”

“Oh- um... yeah!”

No! No he was clearly not! He was sniffling!

“Really? 'Cause, you don't seem it.”

“It’s just- I just- wow.”

“Wow, what!?”

“That was just- uh-"

“Just what? It really wasn't that fancy, you seem much too impressed with me. Oh my God, was it terrible?”

“I mean it was really corny but w-“

“I swear to God if you say 'wow' one more time I may have to add ‘use of the word wow too much’ to the list of things that could make me hate you. Right next to the Dahmer stuff. That was a joke. Your use of the word wow is only mildly perturbing. Sorry."

She was panicking "just a bit".

“I’m sorry, I mean I’m not sorry. Sorry. Shit! sorry! I mean I’m not!”

And he was absolutely... full-on crying at this point.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

He was looking down at his mittens. Not that this is important, but they were very pretty mittens.

“Look at me, you klepto.”

He didn’t.

“You know- I’ve been hearing a lot of that 'look at me' stuff from you today. I mean- the klepto part is new-“

“Peter.”

“What?!”

He peaked up at her.

“Talk to me. Please, you're kinda scaring me, let me help.”

“I’m not sad!”

“You’re crying!”

“Yeah but not from the sads!”

“… The ‘sads’?”

“You know- when you get sad! It just means being sad! I don't- that’s what Wanda calls it, not me!"

He wiped his nose, tears still running down from his puffy eyes to his reddened cheeks.

“What are you crying from?”

“No one’s ever called me wonderful before.”

“I'm sorry! I did a few minutes ago and you didn’t cry!”

“No! You can't 'sorry' me if I can't 'sorry' you! And- yeah but that doesn’t count!”

“Why?”

“Because it only felt big when you said it the certain way!”

“What way!?”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks-“

“I'm sorry about that by the way I was j-“

“No! It’s really ok! Do it whenever! I mean don’t do it whene- shut up!”

“I’m not even talking! You're the one talking!”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks, and you go: you are wonderful.”

“Yeah???”

“No one ever called me that before!”

"Peter, I- well- they- they should! They should! More often! Then the amount that it happens now! I think. In my opinion."

"Or really looked at me like that!”

“Looked at you like what, Peter?”

“Like I was somethin’!”

“Well, you are… ‘somethin'! Whatever that means! And- I think you deserve to be looked at as such!”

“See?”

“What!?”

“You just-“

A strangled sob escaped from his throat. He didn't know how to explain.

“Pete.”

“Ew. I hate that nickname.”

He crossed his arms over his chest like a toddler, trying to completely ignore the fact that he was an emotional wreck.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

She opened her arms and gestured for him to come closer. He was hesitant at first- but gave up all the reasons he shouldn't move to be closer to her in exchange for the promise of comfort she was offering him. He crawled over to her and curled up in her arms. The way she held him made him want to cry more. Who does she think she is- holding him like he was worth holding? With her chin sitting on top of his hair? Letting him do that gross cry sob with the spit and the snot into her only winter coat? Rocking him, and shushing him, and petting his stupid, silver hair? She was warm, too! The audacity of this woman.

When Erik brought Charles into his office to grab a chess set, they saw the two in the window. For a moment Charles considered telling Peter and Y/N to get off of the high platform, seeing as the two were the reasons the "no sitting on the roof" rule was enacted in the first place (neither of them were coordinated whatsoever). Charles quickly dropped this notion when he saw the look on Erik's face, Charles could tell it made him so happy to see Peter be held like that, cared for like that. Erik's expression made Charles want to both tell Erik that he is the most precious thing in the world, and make fun of him (look at Mr. Metal, gone completely soft). Possibly he could do both at the same time. But for now, he is just going to pretend he didn't see the two outside of the window, and have Erik grab them their game, go to the living room, and pretend not to have read Erik's mind when he inevitably asks him how he always manages to pick the white chess piece at "random".

[sun-undone]

more wkbz discussion: Axel edition

Okay so I want to preface this with the fact that I think Axel is an absolute sweetheart who deserved better. But I just have some thoughts about how his character was utilized and how it kinda bothers me and also points out one of the biggest failures of the show in terms of character development, imo.

So we meet Axel when Christiane first meets him at Zoo Station, and they have a super cute, wholesome conversation about haircare and well wishes. And although he is our introduction to H, he is also quickly characterized as this super kind, lovable, sort of goofy guy, which is an interesting juxtaposition that I don’t have the brainpower to get into right now. 

Bottom line, he’s a good dude, despite being addicted to H. I just really wish he didn’t also have a massive crush on Christiane, which quickly becomes conflated with his kindness to act as his only character trait.

Maybe I just have something personal against this and it’s more of a me problem, but I absolutely despise the trope of “super nice guy who tries to protect and win over the girl he’s in love with even though she doesn’t love him back”. And that’s like the entirety of Axel’s storyline. That’s it. He has a crush on Christiane, tries to win her over, even warns her against taking one of Benno’s trips at one point, and spends the entirety of his time in the series just being extra nice to her, even though he knows she is with Benno. I really don’t get why Axel had to be in love with Christiane other than to add a love triangle element (but imo they had much better groundwork for a love triangle in the form of Michi/Benno/Christiane) and some extra, teenager-y drama. It makes the show feel more like a dumb CW show sometimes, and it just seems pointless because Christiane never shows any sign of being attracted to Axel when he’s still alive. The only time she questions her feelings for him is after his death because of the grief involved in losing him. 

While I was trying to organize my thoughts about Axel’s character, I realized that the majority of the clique is obsessed with Christiane or Benno in some way, either from jealousy, infatuation, or both. Christiane and Benno are obviously infatuated with one another, Axel is infatuated with Christiane, Michi is infatuated with Benno and jealous of Christiane, and apparently even Stella is infatuated with Christiane and jealous of Benno (i really don’t remember any instances of that, but apparently lena urzendowsky mentioned it in an interview). Realizing that crazy web of obsession also opened my eyes to my bigger complaint about how the interpersonal relationships were handled on the show: every character sticks with a set amount of other characters and rarely/never has any interactions with anyone outside of those set relationships that are chosen for them very early on. For example, did Benno and Babsi ever interact meaningfully? What about Stella and Benno? Stella and Michi? Babsi and Michi? Axel and any girl besides Christiane? From the very beginning, it’s evident which duos and trios will be important, and all other ones are just nonexistent. It makes the clique overall feel like less of a cohesive group and more like an amalgamation of individual relationships, all of which are somehow, loosely connected to one another. 

I just think we could’ve learned more about all of the characters if they’d been allowed to have interactions outside of their “most important” ones. And Axel is a great example of that. Also, if he hadn’t been in love with Christiane, I personally think it would’ve made his kind nature more genuine and striking as a character trait, especially as an addict. If we’d seen more instances of him being generous to other people other than just Christiane, I just would’ve liked his character even more. At a certain point, it seemed like his character only existed in relation to Christiane. His entire character was him loving her and that love not being reciprocated. I just don’t like it when someone is supposed to be naturally kindhearted but is then mostly shown being kind to the person that they’re trying to be in a relationship with. It makes it feel cheaper, even if it really is still genuine. I personally would’ve much preferred if Axel was just this nice guy who just happens to be a little protective over Christiane because he’s older and more experienced with drugs than she is, with no underlying crush to complicate that kindness. 

Is there really a purpose for Axel being in love with Christiane? What does that add to the narrative, to his character, to her character? If they wanted to show a foil to Benno and point out the flaws in his relationship with Christiane, I absolutely do not think they needed to use most of Axel’s screentime to do that.

I just thought this misuse (what I perceive to be a misuse) of Axel’s character was distracting and a bit annoying at times, but I’d love to hear other opinions and thoughts about this. 

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

I think it's perfect || Hongseok

First one of my soulmate aus! I will be making this a bit festive since December is coming and when I post this it will be December and even if I'm not christian or that much for Christmas I love the music made for the holidays they give a warm and welcoming feeling.

Synopsis: Where you can hear when your soulmate is singing and vise versa

Pairing: Hongseok x reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none! Slight bickering though

Gif credits to owner~

It started when you where 8 that you started hearing your soulmate sing, for all people it was different ages where it started but for you it was 8 when you heard him sing. Working on a school project you got shocked when you heard a boys voice start singing a happy birthday to what you where assuming was one of his friends, asking your parents if that was normal they laughed and nodded their heads yes remembering when they'd go to birthday parties and hear the other one singing for a friend.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡

As you two started growing in your teenage years the boy had a beautiful voice which left you self conscious so the only time you'd be singing is when you'd do it mindlessly. Unknown to you your soulmate was confused on why you didn't sing as much but he had no way to poke at it to find out, he enjoyed your singing voice and liked hearing it even if it stopped him from sleeping sometimes from your late night studying with playlists in the background.

One of your most embarrassing yet meaningful moments with your soulmate was when you where really scared on how your grades would be in your project you worked hard on that was supposed to be a group project yet you ended up being the only one to work on it leaving it sloppy in parts. Grading came back getting a D you where distraught since it was an assignment that meant a lot for your grade and you feared your parents reaction. Not being able to stop the tears running through your face you tried to listen to music that would comfort you deciding to humm the lyrics quietly. Your soulmate took quick action being able to hear the sobs in your humming he worried for you, you where his soulmate after all.

"It's okay~ you'll be okay~" he sang, he wanted to comfort you but didn't know what to do since he can only communicate through singing. You smiled taking note at how your soulmate is sweet for trying to help, not sure if he was singing a song but you realized from your humming he probably heard your muffled sobs through the song.

"I'll be okay~" you sang shaky while laughing. He couldn't help but feel warm hearing your laugh effect the 'okay.' Through this interaction he wondered what other things he could talk to you about through singing for how much the laws of singing soulmates would allow.

It's a warm moment you hold with you, it also started the asking questions in a sing song voice or communicating through the songs you're listening to with that.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡

Even though you weren't the most confident in your voice you really wanted to communicate with him. Thinking on different ways to start conversation through a song or a sing song voice you'd seem to back out easily. You've also spent times thinking about how you'll meet him, will you be able to tell it's him just from his voice? What will happen if you hear him sing in front of you? Many questions you don't have the answer too but nonetheless you see still are eager to meet him, sleeping on those questions you waited till morning to brainstorm a bit. Waking up you brushed your teeth and got ready for the day but since it was a weekend you didn't have much to do so you searched up songs on youtube to play. You where struggling to pick a song but decided with L.O.V.E by Frank Sinatra to listen to as you cleaned your room up mindlessly you started to sing along to the song swaying your body as you folded clothing.

"L is for the way you look at me~ O is for the only one I see~" you sang letting yourself let go for a moment to just enjoy the warm feeling that was being created.

"V is very very extraordinary~" Your soulmate sang along morning voice active in how he sang obviously sleepy, you found it cute that he knew the song and sang along; it wasn't uncommon for him to jump into the songs you where listened too but you where always pleasantly surprised from him knowing the song. You also couldn't help to admit how dreamy his voice is, he definitely was gifted in vocals and that you where sure of.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡

Sleepovers with your best friend where always pleasant, she gave the most welcoming space to you whenever you came over. Baking cookies she got reminded of a certain someone and went quick to tell you about him.

"Soooo y/n there's this guy that I think you'd hit it off with amazingly. He's from the cooking workshop I have been going to this week and I became his friend early on and I think you two would make a great pair, can you please please please let me play match maker just one time?" She said to you looking at you with plead in her eyes, chuckling at her please you decided to hear more into her reasoning before accepting the offer of match making.

"Okay okay tell me more about him,, I'm a little unsure since what if he's not my soulmate?" You said.

"But !! To counteract what if he IS your soulmate?? And he's tall, muscular, very sweet, charming, smart and a really good cook and you're love for food and his match well" She said laughing, it doesn't seem like a bad idea to give it a shot she genuinely seems to like him as a match for you out the different times she's tried to play match maker this one seems different.

"Okay fine but if the date goes wrong you owe me okay?" Nudging her shoulder

"Deal." Your friend said nudging you right back

"Wait what's his name?"

"Hongseok" your friend said with a wink causing you to to your eyes. You soon began to smell a little bit of burning quickly making in the question.

"how long have the cookies been in there?"

"Oh fu-"

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡

You friend doing her magic in getting the okay to give you his phone number for a date you couldn't help but get a little nervous, what if things are awkward? What if he's not like how she says he is and he's only like that with her since he's trying to impress her? Millions of questions pop up until she texts you.

The best girl: his number is ×××-×××-×××× thank me later😘

The roll on your eyes could not be stronger but you typed his number in your phone and went to text him

Y/n: hey is this Hongseok?

Hongseok?: Yes it is 😊 I'm guessing your y/n?

Y/n: so do you want to grab coffee Saturday? We could get to know each other?

Hongseok: sounds like a plan☺️

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ ♡ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ♡

All the days leading to Saturday many thoughts where taken and texts where sent back and forth so you weren't complete strangers and he was genuinely really sweet and you did have a lot in common, you hadn't checked up on your soulmate through sing quizzing in a while so you where nervous in some senses since what if this is your soulmate? Or what if he's not? So many questions but you'd rather let them stay blank for now instead of stressing further.

Walking down the sidewalk you started humming a holiday tune wether it be Michael Buble or Frank Sinatra you where having a euphoric moment in the giddy feeling over going on a date with the snow falling down your excitement was prominent. The sweet feeling had a curl to it when your soulmate started humming to, what if you're meeting him? But what if you're not and he's so cutely humming with you? Not wanting to have this moment you stopped humming and quickly started moving towards the end of the block where the cafe was at.

Once reaching it you went inside standing near the entrance so he'd see you when walking in, going to text him on your phone saying you where here was quickly stopped once you got a tap on your shoulder.

"Excuse me are you y/n?" Turning around seeing a tall unbelievably handsome boy say to you, standing their taking in his features you noted his cute brown hair and big lips, he looked like a cute tall ducky in which you smiled at him before getting too lost in thought.

"Yes that's me" You said smiling brighter with a light chuckle causing him to flash a smile right back.

"Would you like to order with me?" He said taking his hand out for you to hold, taking his hand in yours nodding; your heart stumbled at how nice it felt to be on a date and how cute he was.

Once ordering drinks and getting to your table you began to start talking together.

"So what did you do before getting here?"

"Well I got ready made sure to look nice, then went on my walk to hear humming a few tunes not the most interesting things" saying with nervous laughter, you saw his eyes shoot up.

"What where you humming?" He said quickly.

"Oh just your usual holiday season music like 'It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas' simple songs like that." You said starting to think about your soulmate and see if this could be the make or break if this was your soulmate.

"This may sound crazy but you might be my soulmate." He said ears red.

"Did you hum along the tune with me?" Saying barely above whisper. He quickly nodded at you looking down at your hands that where still connected giving it a tight squeeze.

"To attest can you sing for me? I know my soulmates voice like no other at this point." You said smiling causing him to go beat red, you both knew you where most definitely right but not too bad to be careful.

"L is for the way you look at me" Once he sang you knew it was him, the smile beaming on your face your heart couldn't help but melt at the simple reference for song choice.

"I can attest it's you, you're voice is gorgeous Hongseok. I wish mine was as good as yours" You said with a blush growing on your face.

"No matter how you feel about your voice I think it's perfect."

[afriendlyirin]

Strategies in Social Justice: Disguises and Incentives

I’d like to talk about two scenes I appreciated from Dumbing of Age. (If you’re not familiar, definitely check it out!) Both of them expressed a nuance in social justice strategy that I don’t often see, and which a lot of people seem to struggle with.

This scene takes place after Joyce, the girl in the first panel, blows up at her religious fundamentalist brother in defense of her friend, who is gay and who is, obviously, facing some ugly behavior from Joyce’s family because of it. After he leaves, Joyce’s older sister Jocelyne, a closeted trans woman, comes back to have this conversation with her.

Jocelyne makes a very important point here, one that I have repeatedly had difficulty expressing to other leftists: There is a difference between your actions and your beliefs. It is possible to change your actions without compromising your beliefs. This is a difficult thing for some people to grasp, not helped by the fact a lot of conservative arguments conflate the two.

We can see this in the current debates over if “Abolish the police” is a politic thing to say -- a lot of people arguing against using it as a slogan are, very transparently, doing so because they are opposed to the belief behind it, and want you to stop pursuing the goal entirely. However, the question of whether openly saying you want to abolish the police is a productive way of actually abolishing the police is still one that needs to be asked. In some situations, it might be; but in others, such as talking to moderate family members or neighbors, it might be more productive to repackage it in a way that won’t make the recipient immediately dismiss it. This in no way changes what you actually believe, just the tactic you use to accomplish it.

Dumbing of Age actually provides another scene demonstrating this concept:

This second scene happens earlier, just after Joyce’s friend comes out to her, but it brings up another important concept.

Is Roz right here?

There are many who would say yes. Joyce is still, at this point, a Christian fundamentalist who has perpetuated many of the harmful beliefs she now rails against. Objectively, everything Roz says is true.

But just because you’re correct doesn’t mean you’re right. Is this behavior productive to the goal of making Joyce more progressive? Joyce has finally taken a step in the right direction, and the reaction she receives is negative. What exactly does this teach her? Will this make her more likely to continue in this direction?

The answer depends on the person. Some people do react well to shame, and this chastisement may work on them. But it can just as easily push them back instead. If you punish someone every time they take a baby step in the direction you want, how can you expect them to take a leap? This goes double when your opponents are offering carrots instead of sticks, as seen in the many alt-right recruiting groups who lure kids by affirming all their worst impulses.

Is it unfair that we need to walk on eggshells and consider the feelings of those who have never considered ours? Yes. But it is a lot more unfair that queer youth are routinely abused, traumatized, and murdered. If we have to compromise on the former to stop the latter, that’s a trade we have to make.

And that is something people need to understand if they are to accomplish any substantial change. Sixteen people were killed by police in the United States last month; the yearly total is 412 and counting as of this writing. Black Lives Matter activists are being maimed and assassinated. Thousands of people are dying from coronavirus every day. This is a war, and you do not win wars by doing whatever makes you feel good or angry or righteous. You win wars by acting strategically and critically evaluating your tactics, and to do that we are going to have to criticize each other and learn how to distinguish genuine criticism from bad-faith shutdown.

This is why being an activist isn’t fun or easy. It means talking to people who don’t use the right language, people who are thoughtless and ignorant, and people who actively hate you. It means biting your tongue and choking down bile in every interaction. It means keeping a cool head on topics you feel passionately about. Not everyone can do it, and not everyone has to do it. But if you are choosing to engage, you need to think about what you’re doing.

[radgivare]

. . .

ALEX HØGH ANDERSEN, 22, MATTHIAS SVERRESSEN. ❝ ⤚⟶ EUROPE, 1458. thanks is given by the DUKE OF SKÅNE & ADVISOR OF THE DOWAGER QUEEN, MATTHIAS SVERRESSEN, from THE KINGDOM OF SWEDEN, CURRENTLY A GUEST WITHIN THE FRENCH COURT. they are at best DETERMINED, and at their worst RUTHLESS. whilst abroad, their ambition is to BROADEN RESPECT, OPPORTUNITIES, AND ALLIANCE OPTIONS FOR SWEDEN WHILE TRAVELING WITH THE FRENCH COURT AND THE DOWAGER QUEEN. HE seem/s to remind everyone of ALEX HØGH ANDERSEN & THICK WINTER SNOW, THE DIM LIGHT OF CANDLES IN AN EMPTY ROOM, THE SMELL OF SPRUCE, AND CRYSTAL BLUE FJORDS. ❞

i swear... he’s the last one i’m bringing in

I have decided to include a rough timeline as this is an original character of my own. CW: stillborn, death, major injury ( just wanted to warn! )

timeline.

1380 : Harald Magnussen is born, and is the oldest son of the current Duke and Duchess. He is raised with an education to be the advisor of the Swedish Royal family, as has been tradition for years. This is due to the family’s great wealth and influence with the people.

1397 : Harald, Duke of Skåne, marries Lady Margrethe of Gotland.

1401 : Their eldest son, Sverre Haraldsse, is born within Skåne.

1405 : Lady Ragnhild Haraldsdottir is born in the Kongsgård estate, though Margrethe dies in childbirth, buried in St. Olav's Church at Avaldsnes.

1408 : Harald has a son, Henrik Haraldssen, with Ingrid Bjornsdottir, a wealthy Norwegian noblewoman. 

1415 : Harald decides to marry Ingrid Bjornsdottir, though she is much younger than him. 

1419 : Duchess Ingrid of Skåne gives birth to Lady Astrid Haraldsdottir, being the last child of Duke Harald. 

1425 : Harald passes due to rapidly declining health, and Skåne passes to Sverre Haraldssen at the age of 24, along with the role of Advisor. 

1428 : Lady Ragnhild is married to an influential Swedish noble, who thoroughly supports the prosperity of the wealthy duchy Skåne.

1430 : Sverre Haraldssen marries Gunnhild Ragnarsdottir, naming her Duchess of Skåne, which was a major advancement from being a childhood friend without a title who gained the affections of the King. She is five years younger than Sverre.

1433 : Gunnhild delivers a stillborn daughter, which is upsetting for the couple.

1436 : Duchess Gunnhild successfully delivers Matthias Sverressen, their eldest child.

1439 : Another child is born, Lady Madeleine Sverresdottir.

1441 : A set of fraternal twins are born, which marks the end of Gunnhild’s births: Karl and Andreas. 

1447 : Matthias Sverressen suffers a major injury to one of his legs, causing the bone to break. The break was so bad that he now has a perpetual difficulty walking, and uses a walking stick regularly even though there isn’t necessarily pain. 

1452 : Despite his physical setbacks, the people of Sweden began to cherish the heir to the Skåne duchy, as it was clear his intelligence and ambition was growing.

1453 : Sverre dies from unknown circumstances.

1455 : Gunnhild suffers from pneumonia, which ultimately kills her. Matthias fully inherits the Duchy and Advisor role. His young age causes others to fill in for him for the time being. He did not travel to France with the Dowager Queen initially.

1457 : At the age of 21, Matthias Sverressen travels to France to accompany  the Dowager Swedish Queen, replacing the filler advisor and remaining in their court for the time being, by orders of his role and the Queen. 

1458 : Matthias travels to Lisbon with the French court, hoping to broaden his opportunities and spread his reputation.

introduction.

Choose two of four prompts to answer. Each response must be a minimum of 150 words and reflect understanding of both the character and surrounding plots.

What current conflicts does your character face?

As a prominent and young Duke of a country that is not extremely social internationally, Matthias faces the conflict of bringing an attractive reputation to Sweden for the major powers of Europe and the east to consider. The late Duke of Skåne Sverre had wishes of sending his eldest son to a dignified and reputable nation’s court in order to improve bonds with different countries aside from those surrounding Sweden, due to his utmost respect for the Swedish Royalty. He has been taught all of the appropriate etiquette and behavior for the French court, but it is proving extremely difficult for the nobles to accept him and the Dowager Queen, as they are judgemental towards those they see to be useless. Every moment of his stay with the French, Matthias has to improve his status and his right to be within the court with the Queen, even though he has inherited a great fortune. His position is not threatened, obviously, but he must make use of interactions and friendships to advise the Queen and create strategies for prosperity. This causes Matthias to not understand the resistance from the French court and any other countries that may be cautious of the representative of the unfamiliar nation. 

Another conflict Matthias faces is with himself, and this is quite personal: he struggles with his religion and the ideals of the Catholic Church. At this point, the presence of Christianity had only been relevant in Norway for a few generations. It wasn’t that he was necessarily against the church, rather he was interested in old traditions as well, and he learned them plainly for the history and stories. He wishes to represent ideals from both old mythologies and the Catholic Church in order to form a stronger nation, and he wishes to do this with the aid of other powerful allies. 

What are some potential plotlines you are interested in pursuing?

I would like to pursue any relationships within the French court. Since the French court is currently welcoming Matthias as their foreign guest with the Dowager Queen, it would be interesting to see how certain characters view him. I would like to know if some would think of him as a threat, like the Russians with the English, or if they would believe he would be beneficial to France as they have a developing militia and raw natural resources. 

Relationships with characters from the Ottoman Empire/Cordoba/the Spanish Kingdoms could also be intriguing to pursue as well. I think it would be interesting to see what Matthias would learn from these Empires with such different practices than his own, and maybe if they would take anything from his practices also. 

The French kingdom houses the Dowager Queen of Sweden, which is a role I would really like to see filled. A relationship with the Dowager Queen in general would be interesting to pursue as, of course, he is the royal advisor and he just inherited this title. I would like to pursue how she would view him, as he is much younger, but has great intelligence and understanding of politics and affairs.

Provide a blurb introducing your character generally. This should include an overview of strengths, weaknesses, aspirations, and set backs. ( Bonus )

Even among the well-drawn characters of Crowns, Matthias Sverressen stands out as a complex fellow. From moment to moment, Matthias can be needlessly cruel and domineering, or touchingly vulnerable. He is genuinely curious in other countries, as 1457 was the first time he ever left Sweden, but he is also extremely determined to show these countries the curiosities of Sweden. He wishes to bring his nation a more recognizable and positive reputation, since he knows the Dowager Queen is not too fond of the country, and since he is a wealthy Duke, he wishes to find potential hands in marriage. He does not have a filter, unfortunately, and is not the best smooth talker in the world. However, he has the kind of personality that causes people to be intrigued after meeting him, since he is an enigmatic type of mystery. Swedish noblemen describe him as intelligent and diplomatic, and he wishes to live up to these titles, but it proves harder when foreign royals are not exactly welcoming to his presence. 

three bullet-points.

Please provide three bullet-points describing your character. We ask that you reserve one bullet-point for their personality, but the other two may be used for things like their history, goals, or an event in their life. Minimum 300 words.

This international trip has caused Matthias to realize he is quite the adventurer, and he wishes to improve his knowledge. His charming and appealing nature that comes from his curiosity and artistic tendencies will lead him to form strong relationships and alliances, and this will provoke further future travels. He wishes to be a nobleman that brings more enlightenment to his people, as this will help every aspect of the nation mature. Though, with these positivities, he is also easily over competitive and unpredictable. These traits do not come across as trustworthy to potential alliance members and cause some to be driven away from him.

Matthias Sverressen is not a part of the highlight of Sweden’s military, but he improves their power with the strategies and battle plans for the country. His logical and analytical type of mind has proven to be favorable to many nobles of Sweden, even though he is still quite young, thus improving the support of his position with the Dowager Queen. He is well versed in politics and war games, and he isn’t one to cause unnecessary conflict, but he will demonstrate his skills if need be. He wishes to portray Sweden with a forceful demeanor and will challenge whoever attempts to halt him. 

The Duke of Skåne and advisor to the Queen has very close relationships with his three siblings, and since they were not sent to France with him, it has been an extremely long year and a few months. Thankfully, his siblings are not attempting to steal his title, as his sister is gracious and kind and his twin brothers are too young to attempt. They are aware that he holds all of the family’s power and wealth, however; all four siblings know that Matthias would not unjustly use his opportunities and abilities. They all support Matthias being the Duke of Skåne, as he is a headstrong and bold figure. 

[ontuesdaylast]

Can I trust you?

Hello again! The first topic we wanted to discuss was Hecate and how everyone in the hotel relates to the seemingly gravitational pull around her. We will also discuss the tools of Hecate’s machinations briefly. As we were writing this, we kept being tempted to go off on tangents of other things but that’s the brilliance of this show and doing a deep dive like this: there are still so many elements left to be discussed. 

In case you missed it, here is an explanation of what we’re attempting to do with this blog. 

These opinions are entirely on our own and based on specific observations. We do not claim this to be a definitive reading of Hecate or the hotel in relation to her. Some of these things are also based on choices made by specific residents so significance can change based on that. Our hope is that this post will spur a discussion, even if you flat out disagree with us. We truly look forward to your thoughts!

Significant spoilers under the cut… It is our belief that the hotel is best experienced if you are able to go in blindly and would therefore encourage everyone who is newer to the hotel not read this. We will not be gatekeepers, however. The choice is entirely yours.

First, this entire train of thought makes the assumption that Hecate is controlling and manipulating all of the events in the hotel to her bidding. We think there’s a debate to be had about whether she has some goal or if her goal is just general chaos and eternal purgatory for the pawns in her story. 

Let’s unpack Hecate controlling things more: It is our belief that this is the case. There appear to be two clearly defined teams within the hotel: (1) Team Hecate and (2) Team Lab Rats but there is also a third team of characters that appear to be either outside of her scope slightly in a gray area. We’ll call them Team Gray haha. There also has to be a discussion about how wittingly all of these people are participating, which we will also touch on below. 

Team Hecate, in our minds, consists of Hecate at the top, the three witches (Boy, Sexy and Bald), Speakeasy, Taxidermist and Porter. 

Team Lab Rats consists of Macbeth, Macduff, Lady Macduff, Malcolm, Duncan, Banquo and Agnes.

Team Gray consists of Lady Macbeth, Danvers, Fulton, Nurse Christian and Matron.

The Witches

The witches at first glance appear to be willing participants in Hecate’s plot. However, cracks appear at various points in each of their stories. All three of the witches appear to break down and reveal their true natures underneath the manipulative exteriors. The concurrent time for this is after the rave:

Boy Witch breaks down in the shower

Bald Witch, in some portrayals we’ve seen of the character, appears to be a wounded animal as she bathes herself in the apothecary. On the flip side, we’ve also seen interpretations where even in this moment, Bald Witch is manipulative and in control so there could be an argument that she is the only true believer of the three witches.

Sexy Witch appears to be in turmoil after the rave. Lennox saw Sexy Witches reach out to a White Mask for support with pain in her eyes only to be snatched back by Hecate.

Boy Witch also appears to let the mask drop in two other instances. The first is after he taunts the Porter in the phone booth dance in the lobby. During that sequence, Boy Witch lures Porter to him, flirting with him but then ultimately literally throwing him away and leaving him. Boy Witch then runs up to the Speakeasy, where he writhes emotionally on the pool table like he’s having a fit and also lashes out at a White Mask standing nearby claiming that “This is all your fault.” 

The final moment where Boy Witch appears to let the mask drop is during his 1:1. After he lip syncs to Peggy Lee’s rendition of “Is That All There Is?” he has a White Mask wipe away his tears, taunting Porter who tried to do that himself. Boy Witch then pulls that White Mask into one of the phone booths, wraps the phone booth curtain around the pair of them and whispers some variation of “Last night, I woke with your name on my lips.” He kisses the White Mask on the cheek and walks out of the phone booth, going the mirror and collecting himself. We believe there’s an argument to be made here that he could just be manipulating the White Mask but that also feels like it could be down to how the performer plays the moment. Some feel genuine, others feel manipulative. We prefer the genuine moment because it makes his following actions that much more tragic when the hard shell comes back on after leaving the phone booth. He’s a tortured soul and that makes him a tragic anti-hero. 

Speakeasy & Taxidermist

Speaks and Taxi can feel like the most on team Hecate out of everyone. In other words, they tend to feel like the most active participants in her plot. 

We believe that they are also aware of the loops. One of the purposes that Speakeasy serves is to reset props. We like to ascribe the meaning to this that he is aware of what is happening and is encouraging those things to happen by resetting the props. He’s literally setting up the tools of the characters’ demise and there’s something very sinister about that. 

The other quality of Speaks is that he seems consistently aware of the audience. This manifests in the moments when Speaks interacts with White Masks, i.e. the shot game and escorting people to the rave, but also the fact that Speaks doesn’t seem to look through White Masks as much as other characters do (we’ll get into this more below when talking about the lab rats). It seems to be a consistent thing that Speaks makes eye contact and seem to be aware that he has an audience. 

Taxi has similar tendencies as well. Taxi seems to be the most thoroughly evil of Hecate’s helpers. This is brought into stark reality in his 1:1. His lines are taken from the murderers in Macbeth in the moment when Macbeth instructs them to kill Banquo. Others have written in more depth about the significance of Taxidermist as a murderer, including how it’s likely he murdered the Macduff child whose blood-stained bed you can see through the mirror on the third floor and maybe we’ll dive into that more in a future post. For now, we think it’s worth mentioning how Taxidermist also seems to be the most willing participant in Hecate’s game. Like Speaks, he never appears to have a moment of wavering in his support of Hecate. He also escorts White Masks to the rave and is particularly focused on either messing with or recruiting Fulton to the cause. 

Both Speaks and Taxis’ 1:1s also bear the significance that they are recruiting the White Mask to Team Hecate. Where others attempt to protect people from Hecate, Speaks and Taxi appear to be actively in pursuit of more servants for Hecate. Both of their 1:1s include the White Mask ingesting something, in Speaks’ case a shot of whisky, in Taxi’s case a dyed-blue gum drop. In both cases, the characters also partake in the items and often “cheers” the White Mask beforehand. There is feeling that you are “joining the team” in these 1:1s. 

The Porter

The Porter appears to be the most conflicted of the team Hecate members. He attempts to reject Hecate’s requests and also tries to save Lady Macduff but then he also does seem to enjoy messing with Agnes Naismith. Let’s dive into the moments. 

One of the Porter’s most prevalent drives is his love for Boy Witch. The nature of their relationship is unclear but there do seem to be indications that they had a prior relationship of some kind. As we said above, Boy Witch seems to feel bad occasionally about his treatment of the Porter. After Boy Witch tempts then rejects Porter at the phone booths, Porter pulls a White Mask in for his 1:1. This 1:1 happens concurrently to Boy Witch’s fit on the pool table in the speakeasy so the significance of that can’t be understated. 

Within Porter’s 1:1, he ashamedly and nervously puts on lipstick and then a wig. It’s debatable if this is a reference to Hecate or a nod to his sexuality. What do others think about this moment? He then clutches the White Mask, crying, kisses them on the cheek and thanks them, escorting them back to the lobby. The action clearly pains him. It is a haunting, tragic moment to experience. 

In another moment in his back office, Porter draws out a diagram on a piece of paper. This happens during the first prophecy happening in the lobby. There is a reference to the forest, “her” and “her bar”, a ring and then most importantly “The Boy”, which he circles multiple times. This suggests to us that while he’s been conscripted into Hecate’s war, everything he does is ultimately for Boy Witch. We like to think that Porter joined Team Hecate to be closer Boy Witch or maybe even to save him. While in her employ, however, he regrets the things that he has to do. He’s made a deal with the devil. Is it worth it or not is the ultimate question. 

One of Hecate’s 1:1s sends the White Mask on a mission with a letter to the Porter. The letter is asking Porter to find her ring, to which he writes a reply that he is unable to complete the quest, which he then instructs that person to bring back to Hecate. (More on Hecate’s ring later) He appears to be actively resisting her in this moment. 

That fact makes his treatment of Agnes all the more confusing. He seems to regale in the opportunity to mess with her. He gleefully tips her suitcase onto the floor and taunts her openly. These moments feel incongruous to the rest of his actions and personality. Is this him temporarily giving in to Hecate’s power over him or is there another, darker reason for his treatment of Agnes?

There is also some discourse out there that Porter has ties to Norman Bates. His 1:1 has a Psycho-ish quality to it when viewed through that lens. The Porter’s job is also obviously reminiscent to Norman’s job in the film. Others have written about how there is a reference to a missing girl in his office, the indication then being that he murdered her, a la Norman Bates. We have not seen this news clipping but felt that it was worth mentioning. This reading of him adds another level to his story and we love it.

He does attempt to save Lady Macduff. He tries to stop Danvers from poisoning her with the blue milk. But, he is tragically unsuccessful in saving her. He is distracted by the White Mask bringing Hecate’s letter about finding her ring and is writing the letter back to Hecate. By the time he is finished, Lady Macduff is dead. Despite his best intentions to be good, Hecate thwarts him once again. 

He is ultimately all the more tragic for that reason.

Tears in Relation to Hecate’s Power

Tears seem to be particularly significant to Hecate’s control over her subordinates. There is a sequence of events where tears seem to be the main focus. It begins with Agnes coming to the rep bar after being sent there by the Porter. Agnes comes to the rep bar and timidly sits at the table with Hecate. After a series of manipulations, Agnes begins to cry and Hecate harvests her tears into a small vial. Agnes then storms out of the rep bar, leaving Hecate apparently gleeful at her success with Agnes. 

This has clearly been Hecate’s intention all along so what exactly does Hecate gain by harvesting Agnes’s tears? Clearly, she is gaining control over Agnes but we are unclear in what way. This moment happens at the end of the narrative loop so is it Hecate’s way of keeping everyone stuck in this never-ending, ever-repeating hell-scape?

Hecate then feeds Agnes’s tears to Speaks, and also gives him the necklace to reset. Hecate then pulls a White Mask in for a 1:1. This 1:1 is the letter to the Porter asking him to bring her her ring. At the beginning of the 1:1, Hecate fees the White Mask a vial of tears (really likely salt water) that is identical to the one she fed to Speaks. She then asks if she can trust you, smiles when you nod yes and gives you the letter to the Porter. She also tells you to hurry back. 

Therefore, the question becomes what is the significance of tears to Hecate’s power? Clearly they have something to do with working for Hecate. Also, whose tears does she feed the White Mask in the 1:1? Can they be anyone’s tears? Or should we assume that they are Porter’s because you are about it to manipulate him? 

As I said, this sequence of events happens at the very end of the narrative loop. Speaks does have an interaction with Agnes toward the beginning of the loop. It happens right before Boy Witch storms in for his fit on the pool table after taunting the porter. Boy Witch screams at Agnes to get out as he walks in. But before that, the interaction between Agnes and Speaks is tame. He offers her a drink and not much else happens. Therefore, there’s no pay off to Hecate feeding Speaks Agnes’s tears. Unless we are missing something and someone can illuminate us on this. Possibly, Speaks was about to manipulate Agnes further but Boy Witch interrupted that with his outburst? 

Hecate also appears to fake tears during her lip sync to Tony Bennett’s rendition of “If That’s All There Is?” that happens concurrently to Boy Witch’s lip sync in the lobby. There is an argument to be made that Hecate is acting out the lip sync as a marionette for Boy Witch. He cries, though the tears appear to be fake, perhaps because she cries. If Hecate is controlling Boy Witch, in this moment, the only person it could be to manipulate is Porter, who watches longingly and tragically from a distance. This feeds into the idea that the way Hecate keeps Porter’s loyalty is through Boy Witch. 

Regarding the tears, Hecate’s tears appear to be fake and Boy Witch’s are as well. He does cry real tears, encouraged by something Porter wipes under Boy Witch’s eyes before the start of the lip sync (Vicks Vaporub?). But after the lip sync, Boy Witch uses the tears to manipulate Porter when he selects a White Mask to wipe them off instead of allowing Porter to do it.

There is discourse that witches can’t cry, which adds another level to all of this. There is something intrinsically human about crying so the fact that Hecate uses tears to manipulate both her servants and the people she is torturing makes it feel that by accepting the tears, you are signing a deal with the devil. 

We also think it’s worth discussing salt, bible verses, holy water and mirrors in relation to magical powers but feel like that would be going on too much of a tangent in this post. 

Hecate’s Ring

Hecate’s lost ring is a big motif in the story. As mentioned above, Hecate implores Porter to find her ring, to which he replies that he cannot. Hecate’s third 1:1 is her telling the White Mask to find her ring. In the past, the ring did actually exist. The ring is no longer a prop to be found and returned to her. When the ring did exist and could be found, people reported if they returned the ring to her it would unlock significant interactions for future trips but no one has said publicly what those were.

We have two questions about this ring: what is the significance of the ring to Hecate and what is the significance of the fact that the ring is something that can never be found? 

Is the ring something that Hecate genuinely cares about? Or, is it just another thing she is using to manipulate people? Has she just sent Porter and the White Masks who get her 1:1 on a wild goose chase, essentially perpetuating their existence in purgatory, knowing that the ring doesn’t exist? Or, does she still believe the ring is out there and genuinely want someone to find it? 

We don’t have answers to these questions. We’d love to hear others’ thoughts about them. 

Next, let’s look at Team Lab Rats. 

Team Lab Rats

There is a sense that the Macbeth characters excluding the witches are Hecate’s toys that she is playing with. What is her goal? Is it just straight chaos? Or is there some deeper meaning to what she is doing? 

Whatever the goal, it is clear that she rejoices in the downfalls of the characters. It is Hecate’s design that the witches manipulate everyone. Macbeth is the clearest victim of this but let’s look at the other characters as well. The significance can’t be lost that each witch dances with another one of these characters at the ball:

Bald Witch dances with Banquo, implanting the first seed that leads Banquo astray

Sexy Witch dances with Macduff, distracting him so that he doesn’t notice Lady Macduff being poisoned by Danvers

Boy Witch dances with Malcolm, seemingly poisoning him so that he has to run up to the detective agency to give himself the antidote, therefore missing Lady Macbeth poisoning Duncan so that he falls into a deep sleep in the canopy bed, making it easier for Macbeth to murder him. Malcolm, in his 1:1 talks about seeing signs that Duncan will die but Boy Witch’s distraction causes him to arrive too late.

The witches continue to manipulate Banquo after the ball as well. All three follow him up to the lobby, where he receives a letter from Porter. Sexy Witch then seduces him, eventually kissing him, sending him into a deep sleep, from which is woken by Bald Witch shortly after. He never truly recovers from that, however, making him easier prey for Macbeth’s aggression. 

Macbeth’s downfall is obvious. The witches give him two prophecies: the first in the lobby telling him that he will be Thane of Cawdor and eventually king. The second is the rave in the rep bar, predicting his demise when Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane. 

Macbeth’s downfall is also encouraged by Lady Macbeth, a point we will discuss below. 

As we’ve already discussed, Agnes is also manipulated by Hecate. Agnes has come to Gallow Green looking for her missing sister, Grace. She is then sent on a wild goose chase to find her. One stop is see Malcolm, the detective, who appears to have already been tasked with finding Grace by some other unknown person. Is this another of Hecate’s machinations, perhaps carried out by one of her surrogates or by herself before the events that take place in the show? Or is there another unknown person looking for Grace for some unknown reason? Does anyone have thoughts about this? 

In the middle of this interaction between Agnes and Malcolm, an obvious spell takes hold of them, making them seemingly fall in love with each other. It’s all clearly a ruse cooked up by Hecate, however, and is meant to distract both of them from their quests and Malcolm from realizing that Duncan is about to be murdered. 

Agnes does seem to have some resistance left over to resist Hecate as she breaks free from the spell and runs away from Malcolm. She also attempts to protect those she brings into 1:1 by giving them a locket that contains a bible verse. This small resistance makes her capitulation towards the end of the loop all the more tragic. 

Macduff and Lady Macduff are, in our opinion, the most tragic characters in the hotel. How many times have we said tragic in this post? We don’t follow them often, mainly because we find them too depressing. We already discussed earlier how they are all manipulated by witches. We discuss later on how Danvers torments Lady Macduff but here we’ll mentioned that Lady Macduff seems to foresee her own death so her connection to supernatural comes into the focus there. 

We could do a whole discussion of the loops, and probably will, but the consensus is that the narrative loop begins after the Hitchcock Suite ends. So, if you’re looking at the Macduffs, in that moment, Lady Macduff has just made her way up to the Macduff apartment and climbs up onto the bookshelf, apparently in a distraught trance. Macduff also “wakes up” alone at the beginning of his loop literally under the door and makes his way to Lady Macduff to try to comfort her and tell that it was all a dream and that she shouldn’t worry. They both appear to have just woken up from a nightmare but the tragedy is that their nightmare is just beginning again. 

In our opinion, you could either choose to believe that for some reason the Macduffs begin their loop far later than every other character - i.e. halfway through the end of their follow dance on the couches of their living room - or you can choose to look at it with the view that Lady Macduff begins with her waking up from her own murder, as though she waking up from the prediction of her own murder. The beginning of her loop, therefore is her distraught over the horror that is to come. She allows herself to forget about it momentarily when soothed by Macduff but is plunged into despair quickly again when she is poisoned at the ball. 

She also predicts her own murder in her 1:1 and, like a few other characters, attempts to protect the person in her 1:1 with the packet of salt wrapped in a bible verse. Again, it will be significant to discuss the effectiveness of these items at a later date.

Team Gray 

This is the group of characters that don’t clearly fit into either of the above categories. Let’s take them one by one. 

Lady Macbeth is in this gray area for us because the reasons behind her actions seem to be slightly gray. We can see the argument that she is team Hecate and we could also see the argument that she is acting on her own accord with a nefarious goal. 

There does appear to be a consensus that Lady Macbeth was formerly a patient at the King James Sanatorium. There are patient files for her on the 5th floor and it makes sense that she would choose to go back to the sanatorium when she’s lost everything at the end of her loop; it’s the only place she has left. 

She also appears to be connected to the supernatural. We think it’s debatable whether she is being controlled by Hecate or acting of her own volition. Does anyone have strong opinions either way? We do also think that is an argument to be made if she is a witch herself or not. This particularly comes into question when she appears to summon the witches to her to start the ball. She kneels down before the music starts and motions like she’s conjuring the ball. The three witches then descend on her. She will then generally kiss all three in turn. 

The fact she also works to convince Macbeth to kill Duncan could suggest that she is working with Hecate as well. 

However, despite all of these signs, it still feels to us like she still has her own agency and can therefore makes her own choices in a way a lot of the other team Hecate characters appear not to. What do you all think about this? 

Mrs Danvers also falls into a similar category as Lady Macbeth for us. She is definitely working toward similar goals as Hecate - poisoning Lady Macduff and helping Lady Macbeth poison Duncan - but she also feels completely in control of her own actions. If Danvers is working for anyone, the assumption must be that it is Lady Macbeth since Danvers gives Lady Macbeth the poisoned whisky for Duncan. Danvers, unlike Lady Macbeth, does not feel to us like she possesses any magical ability or interact with the supernatural. 

We also don’t think you can overlook the fact that neither Lady Macbeth or Danvers interact with Hecate. Despite Hecate having pull throughout the hotel, all of the other characters who are operating based on Hecate’s orders physically interact with her at some point. 

Whose orders is Danvers operating under in poisoning Lady Macduff? It serves the bigger goal that Hecate has for the Macbeth characters but feels separate to the other chaos Hecate is enacting within the hotel. We will also discuss the implications of Hitchcock’s and Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca on the plot of SNM in a later post. We will mention here that there are, in our opinion, leftovers of the second Mrs de Winter’s character in Lady Macduff, particularly when it comes to Danvers’ torment of her and Lady Macbeth possesses Rebecca-like qualities in a number of ways. We’ll dig into that in a later post. 

A note about a specific performance here: Ross saw one performer as Lady Macbeth act very annoyed when Lady Macduff interrupted her with Duncan. That performer then motioned to Danvers, who was bringing her the poisoned whisky as though to say “Deal with that.” That could be one interpretation, that that is the moment when Danvers chooses to zone in on Lady Macduff.

We believe based on all of this that while Lady Macbeth and Danvers are acting upon their individual goals.

It bears mentioning that Danvers also has a relationship with Duncan. There appears to be a Mrs Danvers/Maxim de Winter-style relationship going on. We believe that Danvers is in love with Duncan and Lady Macbeth, similar to how Mrs Danvers acts in Rebecca. The romantic feelings for Duncan do appear to be one-sided. We like to believe that the druggy, slowed-down version of “Moonlight Becomes You” by Bing Crosby to which Danvers and Duncan dance is a daydream of Danvers’. We could also see the argument that it is a machination of Hecate’s, in the same style as the interaction between Malcolm and Agnes. However, we like the interpretation more that Danvers is daydreaming this moment with Duncan.    

Fulton falls into a similar category to Agnes but he still feels slightly outside of the actions happening within the hotel. On a logistical basis, Fulton’s primary function seems to be as an observer of the carnage in order to direct audience members to the big moments, in a similar way to Speakeasy resetting props. For example, Fulton observes the rave, the Macbeth fight in their bedroom and Banquo’s ghost walking down High Street. His presence draws an audience after him and therefore directs them to not miss those moments. 

This also serves a story purpose, however. Fulton is a pious man attempting to cleanse the town of sinister forces, while also inadvertently accidentally falling into them. These moments are, for example, when he finds Sexy Witch in the mortuary, when Taxidermist targets him and when he goes for a drink in the Speakeasy. He continuously attempts to resist and, like Agnes, gives the White Mask who gets his 1:1 a talisman that he says is to protect them from the evil in the hotel, but despite his best intentions, he does get swept up in the goings on in Gallow Green. 

Fun story: Lennox had Fulton’s 1:1 one time wearing a mask that had a Hecate kiss on it. That Fulton performer didn’t seem to notice the kiss until after he’d pulled Lennox into the room. He grabbed the holy water, turned around and only then did he notice the kiss. He jumped back and then flung the holy water at Lennox. It was hilarious. Poor Fulton.

We’ve placed him in the gray category because it doesn’t feel like Hecate knows about him or is targeting him like she is the other dolls in her playhouse. It is our opinion that Taxidermist’s targeting of Futon is Taxidermist’s choice and not part of some bigger plot. We could see it being the case that Taxidermist is trying to recruit Fulton - even though he is going about in an extremely poor way, if that’s the case. We don’t know about you guys, but we don’t try to beat up the people we would like to be friends with. 

We will look into the Paisley Witch Trials in a later discussion post but the implications but I did want to mention here briefly that Margaret Fulton was the name of one of the women accused of witchcraft in those trials and that could have significance to Fulton’s role within the story. This is already so long that it doesn’t suit anyone for us to discuss that here. 

Finally, let’s look at the people on the fifth floor in how they related to Hecate: Nurse Christian and Matron. It’s also possible to discuss this in relation to King James Sanatorium being outside of Hecate’s purview or not. We’re not going to pretend to be experts on the fifth floor. We honestly don’t spend too much time there but we’ll touch on things briefly. We look forward to hearing others’ thoughts about these characters in relation to Hecate. 

Nurse Christian Shaw is also a character based on one of the participants in the Paisley Witch trials. We will get into that in more detail in a later post but for now, we’ll just say that Christian Shaw was a young girl who was the first to accuse the women in Paisley of being witches. She also suffered from “fits”. You can see these character traits in the SNM version of Christian Shaw. She experiences multiple fits throughout the loop. In the case of SNM, she definitely appears to be supernatural in some way. 

She is also connected to Lady Macbeth. The assumption is that Nurse Christian and Lady Macbeth were patients at the sanatorium together. They were likely friends and Nurse Christian is still keeping watch over Lady Macbeth. She occasionally appears in important moments in Lady Macbeth’s loop, such as Lady Macbeth’s bath on the fifth floor and she watches over the banquet from the mezzanine before pulling a White Mask into the room off of the mezzanine where she implores them to look after Lady Macbeth. She also resets Lady Macbeth’s clothing after the bath. 

For these reasons and the fact that she doesn’t appear to have any connection to Hecate, we’ve placed her in Team Gray. 

Matron is another interesting case. She is also named after Margaret Lang, another participant in the Paisley Witch Trials who was hanged for witchcraft. 

Sleep No More’s Matron used to be the Matron of the King James sanatorium. She has now retreated and locked herself away in her hut in the corner. We love the idea that Matron stops the loops repeating by finally agreeing to leave the forest with Nurse. We think that we could spend another (couch) 5,000 words talking about the loops and peoples’ places in them and what breaks the repeating cycle and we probably will at some point. All that we’re going to say here is that Matron seems to have retreated into the hut to protect herself. 

Matron is supernatural-sensitive. She likely has visions, based on the fit she has in her 1:1, and appears to want to protect the White Mask from the horrors happening in the hotel. It is a brave act that she chooses to step out of the hut and that is why we like the idea that she somehow prompts a break in the repeating loops. This is also encouraged by the fact that she looks all around her as she is walking downstairs, horrified by the destruction, almost like she is waking up from a nightmare. 

In Conclusion

We need to get a life... Just kidding… Well sorta not… 

But we are really intrigued by everything we’ve discussed above. We hope that others will join in on the discussion because we think this could add more to the fandom beyond just cast lists and whispered questions. Truly, no opinions are unwelcome. You can submit them to us privately, reply here or send us asks (anonymous or otherwise) and we’ll post them.

[you-guys--are-losers]

Celebrity AU for Spideychelle

//Ooh, I like this! I think I’m gonna make it kinda an Irondad fic as well, to justify why Peter is a celeb.  We’re gonna try a new format for this one. Hope you guys enjoy! 

michelle jones has never much liked peter parker. 

it’s not a topic she discusses often, especially out her inner circle, because the opinion is probably one of the most unpopular she could have. 

even so, as soon as it is pulled from her in confidence by a few friends, the reaction is unanimous, and mj is left on defense. 

of course she knows about all that he and his mentor, tony stark, have done with the capital that they made off of their joint film, yes, she’s aware of the amount the two actors give to charity, and she obviously isn’t against the powerful political stance they aren’t afraid to take onscreen and in interviews. she is in complete support of all of it. 

and that’s the damn problem. 

everyone in the industry loves both parker and stark. they’re supposed to be incredible to work with on a project, they stay out of trouble and involved with charity in their free time, and they have a generally warm and playful dynamic. their swarms of fans all agree that the pair of them are nothing less than perfect.

and no matter how much she wants to, mj just can’t buy into it. 

mj’s own rise to hollywood wasn’t dirty, but it wasn’t easy, either. she had to fight for every scrap of ground, audition until she wanted to drop, defend her right to take a stance on something and to not look perfect offscreen with everything she had. 

and for them, it just seems like it’s so easy. 

it doesn’t create any issues for her at first, really. mj just doesn’t bring them up in interviews, and if they’re ever mentioned she just smiles, nods, and lets someone else answer the question. the few times that peter’s brought up as an example of some of the men of hollywood, mj just responds by pointing out that she’s alright being single, thanks. 

but then she gets the call. 

it’s not a bad call, not at first; in fact, it’s a really good one. she’s got the role, she’s going to be playing her dream role in the remake of moulin rouge, and from here on out it’s going to be all sparking diamonds and love songs…

until they tell her who she’s going to be acting opposite. 

they brought him in from the outside, they tell her, and he’s apparently got a voice like a dream (because of course he can sing), and they are looking forward to the way the two will be interacting onscreen.

but all mj can think when she hears the name peter parker is shit. 

because now she’s going to be working with the one actor in hollywood she just can’t figure out. 

she manages to put it from her mind in the craze that follows her role being announced. she posts a few stories hinting at the announcement, of course, and one cryptic selfie on snapchat taken with the filter that makes her face and eyes seem to gleam. once the news breaks, her phone blows up with twitter, instagram, and snapchat notifications in a way that gives her a rush of excitement. the articles pop up minutes later, and she likes a few tweets strategically and replies to a couple comments before posting about the role to confirm it and then falling asleep. it’s a good night, and she manages not to think about it, but the little, nagging thought still lingers. 

the next morning, when mj checks her phone after checking in with her agent, the fans are already at it. 

there are already edits, conspiracy theories, and a million people commenting how good the two of them are going to look onscreen together, how well they’re going to fit their roles, and how their real-life chemistry is going to be interesting. 

mj is about to close her phone when she sees an update from him, on his instagram story. she can’t keep herself from clicking on it, no matter how much she wants to.

when his face pops up, bright and friendly as always, mj blinks. he’s outside, walking through what looks like his yard wearing a button-up that’s rolled up at the sleeves, blinking into the sun. she has to catch herself to keep a smile from creeping onto her face. she knows he’s one of the most successful people in the industry, but he honestly just looks like a dork as he squints into the camera. 

“i’m so excited to announce that i’ll be starring as christian in the 2026 remake of moulin rouge!” he exclaims in a voice that mj knows instinctively is genuine. “i can’t wait to work with so many talented people on this film, and i’m humbled to even be given the opportunity to be a part of this incredible project. i’ll probably update a ton, but i’ll let you guys know once we’ve started! thank you all so much for your support, and i can’t wait to share this amazing film with you.” 

the whole time, mj is watching for all of the markers of insincerity. she’s used to spotting them in other actors and celebrities, and at this point, she’s honestly got it down to an art. and this time should be especially easy: part of her wants him to be lying, so it should be that much easier to spot it. 

but she can’t. not a whiff of insincerity or hesitation, not a single statement that feels a bit strained, no dodgy body language. and mj knows, as she watches it play, that he means it-- every word. so, after a moment, she closes out of the app and puts away her phone for the next few hours. 

things go pretty well until the day of the read-through. mj is still buzzing with the feeling of having earned the part, and she has watched the movie at least six times (though of course she would never admit it). 

and she doesn’t even want to admit to herself that her heart stops a little bit every time she hears “your song,” because come on. no one can really have that much passion for someone else, not in real life

but when it comes to the read-through, mj knows that this is the real beginning of everything. a table read is going to show how the actors interact with one another, meaning that she’s going to have to figure out how she works with parker and with the rest of the cast-- and fast. 

when mj shows up in clothing that is slightly more dressed up than casual, she is relieved to be one of the first. she takes her seat behind the label with her name and the character name “satine” in large script and busies herself with taking out the script she has already begun memorizing, as well as reaching for her tumbler full of tea.

it's then that mj hears a voice from beside her, one that greets her, "hello. are you michelle jones?"

mj stiffens slightly, taking a deep breath. she knows that voice because it is the one that played from her phone all those days ago. mj raised her eyes to his face, but it's much different in person.

sure, he's still got brown hair and eyes and what she supposes is an attractive face, but it's not just that. in person, mj can see the slight smile lines on the edges of his eyes, the easy grin on his crooked lips that makes her feel slightly warm, and the muscular nature of the forearm that he is extending to her in hopes of a handshake. if she breathes in deeply, she can smell a scent that she thinks might be lemongrass.

mj keeps her face neutral, however, as she peers up at him, nodding with a polite smile. she returns the shake, trying not to think about how easily her hand slides into his.

"yes, i am. nice to meet you," she replies, though she knows that if she had the choice she wouldn't continue the conversation.

or at least, she'd like to think she wouldn't.

his hand lingers in her for a moment, then he takes it back, sitting next to her. "i'm peter," he introduces himself as he sets the cup of coffee in his other hand down in front of him. "peter parker."

mj holds back what might be either a laugh or a scoff, she's not sure which. of course she knows who he is-- everyone does, so why does he bother with the formalities? but something tells mj it's sincere, so, after a moment she responds, "i know." her statement is not unkind, but it's simple, leaving it to him to continue as she opens her script.

"i'm really excited to get to work on this together, i think it'll be great," peter continues. mj can hear the earnest, truthful tone in his voice, and when she hazards a glance over at him, she can see the look reflected in his eyes. it makes him appear younger than he is. "i was really glad to hear you got the part."

mj glances over at him, more hesitant than ever now. she is quiet for a moment as she processes it, and once she is sure he's not screwing with her, she replies, "oh, thank you." she pauses for a fraction of a second before blazing ahead. "do you mind if i ask why?"

mj could almost swear a rosy hue comes to his cheeks, but he doesn't look away or allow himself to appear flustered. instead, peter parker says something that catches her off guard.

"i've always admired you," peter admits, not looking away from her. "i respect what you stand for and that you haven't allowed success to change you, and i can't imagine how difficult it must be to maintain the independence and dignity you do in this industry. i've always thought it was incredible."

mj stares at him, and for a moment she might forget to breathe, because what the hell?

peter parker, hollywood's biggest heartthrob, admires her? and not just for anything, but for her values?

what is she supposed to say to that?

luckily, mj is saved from having to respond when their new director begins to speak, but mj isn't listening to a word she's saying. the actress is far too busy making some attempt to figure out how on earth she is supposed to handle this turn of events.

after a brief interlude, they begin immediately-- it's time to get into the script, and mj is so ready. she isn't in the beginning scenes, so mj takes a chance to watch the cast perform.

they're incredible: mj can see why they were all chosen, and the chemistry between them is perfect. they are on the same wavelength, and though of course there are mistakes, there are also many moments that hint at the perfect piece they're going to create together.

but for some reason, mj can't stop watching him.

he's a young writer in the film, and it suits him perfectly. the soulful, passionate, naive character plays out perfectly through peter parker-- and he doesn't just go surface level. peter acts with such an incredibly subtlety that mj can't look away, and she's grateful when her character enters so that she can stop staring.

for a while, she gets along perfectly with the other actors who she interacts with, and she loses herself in the flow of the acting. it's not complete yet, but for a few moments here and there mj can feel satine taking control of her rather than allowing mj to continue as a pale imitation. it's a character study, and she's learning how to be someone else-- of course there's a learning curve. but it's exhilarating, and for a moment she forgets about peter parker.

until it comes to their first scene together, which begins as a comedy but continues on into a love song.

of course they're not singing together yet, but they're doing the dialogue, and that's enough. at first, it's just comedy, and watching peter's character, christian, attempt to figure out the antics of her own character is amusing. she gets a few laughs out of the rest of the crew, too.

but then things start to become more serious, and they begin to speak about love for just one sweet moment between.

and when he looks at her?

for a moment, satine falls away completely, and mj is all that is left. so it is mj who sinks into those dark brown eyes that are looking at her like she is the sun, like nothing else could possibly shine as bright.

no one in the room moves, breathes, says anything as peter and mj speak, their words weaving the scene together around them, turning chairs and tables and empty coffee cups into rich silks and shining lights and summer nights.

the moment lingers, only to be broken by the entrance of another character, and mj shakes away the spell.

and she plunges forward in order to continue, shoving down the disappointment she feels deep in her chest.

because maybe those feelings exist, but they're for another day.

and she's not ready to admit that maybe, at least when it comes to peter parker...

she could have been wrong.

[johnnymundano]

Prom Night (2008)

Directed by Nelson McCormick Screenplay by J.S. Cardone Music by Paul Haslinger Country: Canada, United States Running time: 88 minutes CAST Brittany Snow as Donna Keppel Scott Porter as Bobby Jessica Stroup as Claire Davis Dana Davis as Lisa Hines Collins Pennie as Ronnie Heflin Kelly Blatz as Michael Allen James Ransone as Detective Nash Brianne Davis as Crissy Lynn Kellan Lutz as Rick Leland Mary Mara as Mrs. Waters Ming-Na Wen as Dr. Elisha Crowe Johnathon Schaech as Richard Fenton Idris Elba as Detective Winn Jessalyn Gilsig as Aunt Karen Linden Ashby as Uncle Jack

Theft Alert: All images from IMDB

Donna Keppel (Brittany Snow; working hard here, bless) is the only survivor of a family massacre perpetrated by Richard Fenton (Johnathon Schaech; looking very Sean William Scott), a creepy teacher with a boner for her. Tonight Donna’s Prom Night is being held at a swanky hotel,  but tonight is also the night Richard escapes from The Home For Creepy Teachers With Wayward Boners. Everything you expect to happen happens, just a lot less interestingly than you would expect for a slasher movie, certainly for one that cost $20 million. Prom Night (2008) is like an experiment see if it possible to make a slasher flick so inoffensive and dumb it could be screened at tea time on The Disney®©™ Channel. It turns out it is in fact possible to make such a thing, but unfortunately no one would want to watch it. It actually makes you hanker for Prom Night (1980), as low-budget and timeworn as that disco slasher may well be.  

For starters, Prom Night (2008) is not a remake of Prom Night (1980) despite what anyone says. Fuck that noise, someone obviously just wanted to use the title. End. Of. They are both slasher movies which take place on Prom Night, but that’s it. I know this because I watched Prom Night (1980) recently for the first time, and last night I watched Prom Night (2008) for the last time. Prom Night (1980) has a mystery surrounding the identity of the killer, which keeps you awake and which also has a surprisingly strong emotional pay off, whereas in Prom Night (2008) we know who the killer is from the off, which is boring and has no pay off at all. Essentially then, this is the difference between the two, one is a bit amateurish but very entertaining, while the other is slick as snot on a door handle and as dull as ditch water. 

Ultimately only one Prom Night successfully evokes the youthful exuberance of the night in question, which is important as I am 50 and English, so I have no personal experience whatsoever of a Prom Night. Also: get off my lawn! Prom Night (1980) makes it look like a fantastically enjoyable event at which hormonally crazed kids dance enthusiastically to fantastically simplistic disco. Apparently the movie was shot with the cast dancing to real, popular disco hits until the makers realised you have to actually pay to use other people’s music (?!who knew!?). Being a bit strapped for cash they had the soundtrack composer Carl Zittrer cook up some home-made disco beats at roughly the same tempo so the visuals and sound would still gel. Carl Zitterer did an excellent job.  A bit too excellent in fact, since the similarity was still so pronounced a $10 million lawsuit was brought against the movie (and settled for $50,000 – phew!). A small price to pay for one of the most cheerful and fun dance sequences I’ve ever seen, particularly as I didn’t pay it. Prom Night (1980) is a decent slasher flick but the dance floor sequence is just pure joy.  Prom Night (2008) makes Prom Night look like a shit night club where nobody knows anyone else there; seriously, the interaction of the core group with everyone else, who they apparently have known for years, is ridiculously minimal. And the songs are the kind of heatedly sexual nursery rhymes I am generationally disposed to dislike. I just don’t get it, basically. You crazy kids! “Who’s your daddy? And is he rich like me?” isn’t so much a song lyric to me as a reason to call the sex police. And while technically the dancing in Prom Night (2008) is smoother, the dancing in Prom Night (1980) is more realistically ramshackle and energetic. 

Also, in Prom Night (1980) the killer, whoever they are, is refreshingly human (they slip on the slippery floor at one point, etc) but in Prom Night (2008) the killer is a tediously efficient killer; which is odd because he’s just a school teacher with a creepy boner for one of his female students, which explains none of his killing efficacy. By rights he should just be crying while wanking over the school yearbook, as I imagine most creepy schoolteachers with boners for their female students do. Maybe creepy schoolteachers with boners for their female students find that reductive and a little offensive of me, and that’s a real crying shame there, because the last thing I want to do is offend creepy teachers with boners for their female students. Every school has that one teacher who dates his female students “secretly”, and as the female student ages out of school he replaces her with a new female student. Maybe you are that guy. In which case you need to hear this: Dude, you are creepy. No one is impressed; they are creeped out. Preying on children is not cool. And if they are in school they are children, I don’t care how developed their chest is. A light prison sentence or some intensive therapy are what you need, creepy teacher dude, not high fives and Budweiser with the bros. (I do apologise for the fact I went to school in the 1970s leading to my not acknowledging that creepy schoolteachers can also be female, and the students being creeped on can be both female and male; with any combination of gender being creeper and creeped upon. I guess everyone sex creeping on everyone else, well, that’s progress? Well done, everyone. Personally I would have tried to phase out the whole creepy-schoolteacher-with-a-boner-for-their-student thing but I guess expanding it across the gender spectrum is certainly one way to go.)

In terms of cast Prom Night (1980) only really has Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen as “names” but everyone is okay, and the characters are all quite quirky and sympathetic. Prom Night (2008) might not have many “names” but it has a far more professional level of acting, which is a win for it. But, alas, while there are real actors in Prom Night (2008) and they all try hard with what they are given, what they are given is so lacklustre and generic it is dismaying how much effort they probably had to put in just to make the characters seem as bland as they do. There’s the black couple; he’s good at sports, she’s a bit sassy. There’s the co-dependant bickering couple; he’s controlling and drinks too much, she’s whiny and, well, she’s just whiny. The gym teacher is sparky and enthusiastic like absolutely no gym teacher I’ve ever met in my half a decade existence, but very like every gym teacher in American high school set shows on Nickleodeon. The most interesting character is Detective Nash, and that’s only because James Ransone appears amusingly miscast; unless a cop who resembles Christian Bale if he was a candleblogger is your idea of a movie cop.  Obviously that’s nobody’s idea of a movie cop, luckily though Idris Elba knows what everyone expects from a Movie Cop and delivers it with lightly self-parodic gusto. Of course   Idris Elba is unarguably a charismatic screen presence; I know that because most of the things I’ve seen him in are godawful but he is always a pleasure. Maybe it’s just unfortunate choices on my part and I’m actually missing a string of entertainment pearls starring Idris Elba, even so Prom Night (2008) would come in on the poopy side of the mark sheet. But, again, even in something as poopy as Prom Night (2008) Idris Elba is fun. Here he’s The Big City Cop so he walks like he’s prolapsed and rasps his dialogue like he regularly gargles lava-hot cawfee. The enthusiasm Elba invests in playing this poorly written part makes up a bit for the utter idiocy of the character. Ultimately though nothing could distract from Detective Winn’s stupidity, so colossally boneheaded are his actions in the movie.

Prom Night (2008) seems to take place in an alternate universe where every authority figure is a moron. In a better slasher flick this might be a genuine attempt at a point, but here it’s just bad writing. Sure, you might think that everyone in authority in the universe we actually inhabit is a moron, and at this point in history you would have a strong case, counsellor. Exhibit one being our current lying coward of a Prime Minister (I write this in the year 2020). But the authority figures in Prom Night (2008) are actually more excessive in their cretinous obliviousness than even that lying shyster. Having (eventually) realised that the killer is loose Idris Elba visits Donna’s guardians, who decide not to bring her home immediately or have her placed in police custody for her own protection, because it might “embarrass her” in front of her friends and put a big downer on this magical night of awful dresses, terrible music and light fingerbanging. Idris Elba, a policeman remember, goes along with this, which is kind of epically dumb, but then he raises the dumbness stakes by going to the Hotel Swank to keep an eye on Donna. Literally. He actually stands by a bit of silver scaffold in the dance hall for hours, and stares at the back of her head, occasionally rubbing the top of his own head and pursing his lips. Incredibly this does nothing to locate and apprehend the killer, who is merrily killing staff and guest alike at his own convenience. Idris Elba even asks at the desk if they have seen the killer, even showing them a picture (which is some amazing police work for Prom Night (2008)). But when asked by the desk clerk if he should be concerned Idris Elba says ”no”. Later when the fact that the killer is in the hotel killing people can’t even be avoided by Idris Elba he pulls the fire alarm and the entire hotel decants chaotically onto the street. Because there’s absolutely no way the killer could get out unnoticed during that, right? Absolutely no way at all. Nu-uh! Essentially most of the people in Prom Night (2008) who die do so because Idris Elba’s character has all the brains of a shoe.

And a lot of people do die in Prom Night (2008), but don’t get too excited slasher flick fans, because it doesn’t really feel like it because the kills are largely inoffensive stuff; which in a slasher movie is kind of offensive in itself. Prom Night (2008)  tries to distract from the lack of splatter with sudden bursts of convulsive editing which just makes it look like the killer is over amorously cuddling people to the floor, or re-enacting his favourite Super Bowl tackles. The only clue that his victims are dead comes later when we get to see the body with some dainty little red marks on their clothes. So averse is Prom Night (2008) to actually getting bloody that one character has their throat slashed and so little claret splashes it’s preposterous. If you were asleep next to somebody with their throat cut you’d wake up sodden in the red stuff, you wouldn’t have to turn them over to discover they were dead. Maybe Prom Night (2008) should have invested some of that $20 million in a medical professional acting as a consultant to tell them that throat wounds tend to, you know, bleed profusely since it’s all the blood inside you coming out of that new hole that kills you. Okay, sometimes it’s the shock of blood loss that offs you but, whatever, there’s a lot of blood involved. There is, I admit, one artfully shot kill where an arc of blood spatters a sheet of plastic but mostly the effects in Prom Night (2008) are less Tom Savini and more Tom and Jerry.

Sadly then, when it comes to this particular Prom Night (2008) you’re better off staying at home and washing your hair.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Handmaid's Tale: Household (3x06)

This episode was... well, it was something, alright.

Cons:

I really did like it, just like I've liked every episode of this show. It was powerful and well-made. But I will admit, for the first time in this very symbolism-heavy show, I was a little put off by how much symbolism there was in D.C. Like, I get it... this was the capital of the USA, and now it's under Gilead's control. It's supposed to be this terrifying dichotomy between the former "land of the free" and what we have now. But the contrast didn't quite work because we know it's not a matter of black and white here. It's usually a lot more of a gradual slope. This was maybe an example of less being more. We have the mouth rings for the Handmaids, which is obviously chilling but also a little bit impractical... how do they eat? We have that obnoxious shot of June standing in front of a statue so it looks like she has wings. What is this, Game of Thrones? Those shots are certainly artistically cool to look at, but it's putting things on a bit thick, don't you think? Same with the shot of the Lincoln Memorial with the top of it blown off. Heavy-handed comparisons between slavery in the U.S. and slavery in Gilead are all well and good, but we have to admit that the way race is handled on this show is clumsy at best, so... not sure they want to draw such stark attention to themselves there.

I'm obviously reserving judgment about Nick, because like everything else in this show, there are complexities there. He seems to have tried to help negotiate with the Swiss, but maybe he chickened out, or they wouldn't accept his information, or he wasn't willing to go far enough... and then we get the revelation that he was part of the "holy crusade" that brought about Gilead in the first place. This is brand new information to June, and to the audience as well. The thing is... it doesn't quite track with Nick as a character thus far. If he was an opportunist who, whether he believed in the system or not, decided to keep his head down and accept his fate, then why was he involved in the resistance, even before he fell in love with June? And if he was forced into all of his actions, and has always been a rebel at heart, why is he stopping now? I don't think Nick's characterization thus far is a problem for the show, or at least not a problem that they can't easily rectify. It's just a little unclear to me right now exactly where they're going with this, and I'm starting to get nervous that I won't like the end result.

Pros:

There was one piece of overwrought symbolism that absolutely worked for me and knocked me on my ass, and that was the sight of the Washington Monument turned into a giant cross. I think the reason that this worked better for me than some of the other D.C. imagery was that it was about re-purposing and distorting the meaning of an existing piece of art, instead of just destroying it. Gilead has left the rubble of the Lincoln Memorial there for all to see. They're not trying to hide the fact that they destroyed something. But with the Monument... they didn't shear it in half, or knock it over and leave it lying there... they built from it. They warped and twisted it, and if you didn't know what the Washington Monument was, you'd never know there had been anything different there before. That's the chilling thing to me. Warping history, erasing the past, so that there could conceivably be a future, not so distant, where nobody alive remembers things the way they were.

As always, I want to discuss Serena. For the past couple of reviews I've been noting how interesting it is to have a performance so well done that you feel a bit of sympathy for Serena's plight, despite her despicable actions. This episode continues that thread. Serena Joy really is one of the most interesting villains I've ever seen on any TV show. The moment I want to focus on is when Mrs. Winslow tells Serena that she liked her book. This is taboo, since of course the women aren't allowed to read. But it is also a stark and important reminder that Serena helped to shape this world. I'm not saying it makes her culpable for everything, but she was an evangelical Christian extremist who wrote a book about how women were meant to stay in the home and take care of the children. She did that, and the result is plain to see.

Mrs. Winslow was fascinating to me as well, because she thanks Serena for helping to change her life - she used to work at a law firm, and she and her husband had no time for a family. But look at them now! Six children, and they still have a Handmaid. The privileges of rank. That's an important point to make here - Commander and Mrs. Winslow are both seemingly a bit more casual and down-to-earth than a lot of the other Comamanders and Wives we've seen. They have openly affectionate and goofy relationships with their genuinely happy children. They offer their first names to their guests. Mrs. Winslow hugs Serena and hands her a baby when first meeting her. It's all quite... normal. It reminds me that oppressive systems do not oppress equally - that if you're in a position of power, even as a member of the oppressed class (women), you are given more leeway. I as a white woman still have to deal with the effects of sexism on my day-to-day life, but I have the privileges granted by my whiteness and many other privileges besides.

We should also talk about Fred Waterford. He's such a weak-willed man. He's slimy and annoying and only scary because of the context of this society. As a man, he has so much power. As Fred Waterford, he doesn't know how to actually properly take advantage of that. I think you can see that in how he interacts with Commander Winslow. He's just so desperate for a chance to improve his prospects, and his brown-nosing is really pathetic. I think Fred Waterford is just as interesting as Serena in some ways, although the type of villainy is very different. You don't get the sense that he really cares all that much about Nichole, in the long run. He wants to leverage a personal tragedy for professional gain, and despite some moments of sentimental bonding between husband and wife, I'm not sure Fred and Serena are ever going to repair any sort of healthy partnership... that is, if they even had one to begin with.

To continue the trend of interesting villains... we see that Aunt Lydia is very shaken by what she sees in D.C. I liked the moment when June asks her if she wants them all to be silenced, and Lydia immediately says that she does not. Lydia is one of the more terrifying figures on this show, because unlike Fred, who I really do believe to be just an opportunist, Aunt Lydia seems to have a genuine desire to help people. Her harshness with the Handmaids is in some way an attempt to protect them from even worse punishment. That excuse is flimsy and does not hold up under even the smallest amount of pressure, but it makes for a really complicated portrait of this woman, who could beat Janine one week, and then be genuinely sympathetic to June, and be horrified by the oppression she sees around her. Again, like with Serena, just because I can understand and untangle some of her twisted motivations, doesn't mean I'm on her side or that I forgive her for her monstrous actions.

I liked the idea of the Swiss being neutral negotiators here, because it's another chance to get some hints about world politics. Gilead is enough of a military threat that Canada doesn't want to provoke conflict. And yet Canada has been offering asylum to refugees from Gilead. We know that the gender politics of Gilead seem to be restricted to just Gilead, because we've seen women in positions of leadership in every other country we've interacted with. I'm so interested in how the rest of the world reacts and responds to Gilead. It's sort of a chilling reminder of how much power the United States has, that other countries kind of have to let us do whatever we want, in a really messed up way. When I think about the endgame of this show, of how it's all going to wind up, really the only thing I can imagine is a widening of the scope - does this show end when Gilead is destroyed and balance starts to come back to the world? What does that look like? I don't know, but I want to find out.

So that's that - again, a wonderful episode of a complicated, difficult television show. I had some qualms about the over-abundance of symbolism, because I guess even this show can go too far sometimes. But still... this was great!

8/10

[dustinchris]

what role would you have for christian, josh, and connie and simon?

sorry it took me so long to answer this i honestly forgot about midsommar right after i wrote my like. “critique” post on it that this ask is referring to hfdjksfjsk but then i saw @benepla‘s posts and remembered i had some notes, mainly just thinks i expected to happen honestly

okay, so the biggest change, christian would be in on a plot to sacrifice dani from the beginning. that would just make so much more sense to me considering the complete and utter apathy christian shows towards everything happening around him. pelle would obviously be in on it as well. josh knows christian is planning to “break up” with dani, either on the trip or afterwards, but doesn’t know the gory details. he’s genuinely just going for his thesis. (as for mark, he’s a dumbass who probably knows, but thinks its a dark running joke. and doesn’t know his fucked up hypotheticals on how to get rid of dani are being taken as like. serious suggestions). as the story is told through dani, we don’t know about any of this until near the end. 

josh’s character in the movie was frustrating because he’s obviously the perfect choice to figure shit out, and he was just. another black guy dies first trope. in that scene where he sneaks out to look through the Book he would realize that he and his friends aren’t safe, and would at the very least come up with a plan to escape. bringing that escape plan to christian probably isn’t the best course of action, but how could he know that...

pelle would (explicitly) start to feel something for dani, especially because he sees himself in dani with their similar traumatic backstories, and as he sees her interact with the other women in the cult. he starts to detest christian for wanting to kill/get rid of her, and that he wants to use pelle/his “family” to do it, and starts working against him.

re: connie and simon, i don’t think i’d have different roles for them, just on-screen death scenes, and maybe more worry from dani and josh about their disappearances. 

christian’s reveal is probably like... during a scene where he kills josh, who at that point connects the dots on the real reason dani was invited, but its too late. josh is dead, and dani’s next. 

christian’s transformation would be dramatic, slowly and then all at once he goes from subtle gaslighter to full on villain. but it still doesn’t feel like a drastic change for the character, more like you’re discovering who he truly was all along, like things are falling into place. 

contrast to dani’s assimilation into the cult, which would hopefully feel gradual and easy, to the point where you don’t even realize how far she’s gone until the end, when she smiles, wicked, and the flowers surrounding her wither from the heat of the flames. 

its important that christian, expecting to sacrifice dani, has the tables turned on him. pelle would clue dani in i guess, and probably be the one that blows that dust in his eyes. the “you can’t move, you can’t speak” lines are given to christian by a fully cognizant dani. in the movie ending she doesn’t seem entirely aware of her decisions and things around her, in this version she is absolutely present, she is running things. she is queen. 

and even though it was kind of funny i would only keep ari aster’s naked old people fetish in if he held me at gunpoint, ideally dani choosing to sacrifice christian isn’t because she saw him in that sex ritual, it’s because he tries to like. murder her. because men suck. and she gets revenge. 

thanks for reading if u read all that nonsense i don’t think i could “save” the movie for myself without serious structural and editing changes but whatever this would’ve been more satisfying to me

[queenscharacters]

April 01 - Juice

Ezra was equal parts excited and nervous for tonight.  It wasn’t like holidays were meant to be family only, he knew virtually anyone was welcome so long as they were invited, but he never actually brought someone over. Growing up half-Jewish in a predominately Christian society kept Ezra from being eager to invite his friends over for the Jewish holidays. He wasn’t embarrassed of his heritage, but most people he interacted with didn’t really understand his mother’s religion and didn’t care to...so Ezra kept this side of him pretty private.

He actually really liked being part Jewish. He wasn’t necessarily religious, but his mom made it a point to raise Ezra and his siblings at the very least culturally Jewish and he was pretty sentimental over the fact. Ezra liked that he had traditions that were an irrefutable, very intentional part of his identity. He was excited to know that a year from now, he would be holding his own child and beginning to teach them all about Passover. 

“Sorry if it’s super boring...” Ezra repeated for what felt like the millionth time today. He knew that Seder wasn’t that exciting, but the meal that followed always was. And even if the food actually sucked (which it wouldn’t), it still meant the world to him that he could celebrate this year beside Allison and their unborn child.  

Allison squeezed his hand, leaning into him so she could tell him something. “I better get used to it, considering we’ll be doing this together for the next 18 years…at least.” She kept her voice low enough so only he could hear it, her grin widening.  

He couldn’t help but mirror her expression.  It was times like these that he really forgot the two of them weren’t together.   Ezra knew that he was in love with Allison, he knew he probably would never be able to love someone the way he loved her, and part of him wanted to believe Allison was starting to feel similarly towards him.  After all, how could he not have that impression when she literally said things like that to him? It made him think that not only did they have a future together, but that she was looking forward to it as well.  Ezra was basically beaming.  

It didn’t help, either, that Allison appeared to be trying her best to be as engaged and respectful as she possibly could.  Ezra didn’t think she was going to be disrespectful, but he didn’t foresee her speaking as much as she was either.  He didn’t know how he wasn’t supposed to fall even more in love with her.  Hell, he was watching in real time as his mother did.  All Allison had to do was compliment how the house smelled and the woman had swelled with pride. 

“Is any of that bothering you?” He whispered as Mason set down the Seder plate in the center of the table.  There were some pretty strong smells from the traditional foods that would upset even someone who wasn’t pregnant.  

Allison wrinkled her nose at the sight of the horseradish, but luckily it didn’t seem to be setting her off.  She was almost out of her first trimester, yet certain scents were still triggering her.   She just shook her head and asked about the charorset, which was all she claimed to smell, and he explained that it was a mix of juice, apples, pears, and raisins.  It was cute that he had to remind her they had to wait to try it.

“…We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who has kept us alive, raised us up, and brought us to the happy moment.” Hailey finished the first section of the Haggadah.  Beside her, Mason grinned and began to open one of the many bottles of wine on the table. 

“First glass time!” Noa clapped her hand, motioning her children to pass forward their glasses.  

Ezra paled.  In all his excitement and time he spent prepping Allison for what to expect, he completely forgot to mention that part of the night was drinking 4 glasses of wine.  Last year had been the first year that he hadn’t been allowed to have wine for all four glasses and clearly it slipped his mind.   All the years prior, it hadn’t even been a big deal. He exchanged a glance with Allison.  

Even though she was close, the two of them had agreed that they wouldn’t be sharing her pregnancy with anyone (family included) until she was safely into her 13th week.  No one at the table knew she was pregnant and tonight definitely wasn’t the time to share. Allison turned to him, eyes wide, practically demanding what she should do.  Of course, she could decline, but his family knew Allison enough to probably inquire why she wouldn’t be choosing not to drink.  Well, his parents wouldn’t, but his dumbass of a brother probably would. 

“Ezra, Allison, do you guys want?” His mother asked sweetly, looking at them expectantly. They couldn’t technically continue until everyone had at least a sip. 

“Uhh….” Ezra trailed off, his mind going blank.  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.  He should have known to have brought them something different! That was always an option compared to whatever his mom got. 

“Actually, can I have some of that, Hailey?” Allison’s voice was no where near as nervous as his.  She stole a glance at him, her expression confident, and he relaxed.  He should have known Allison could handle any situation.  “I’ve been on antibiotics since, like, Friday? And my mom has already yelled tame twice for drinking.” 

She was pointing to Hailey’s huge jug of Kedem grape juice sitting beside her.  His sister in law was nearly 7 months pregnant with her and Mason’s third child and it was obviously a given at the moment.  Luckily for him, no one seemed suspicious at Allison’s response.  Ezra quietly passed his glass to his mom.

“Oh, of course! I’m gonna try to get to 4, but I bet after 2 this one is gonna get a sugar rush.” Hailey nodded, giving her belly a little pat.  “Help yourself.  There should be more than enough.” 

“Everything alright, dear?” Noa asked Allison, not suspiciously, but genuinely worried.  

“Oh, yeah! Just getting over a sinus infection, nothing too crazy.” She shrugged.  Ezra was both impressed and terrified how easily this came to her.  

“Feel better!” His mom smiled, clinking her glass against his father’s before taking her a sip.  “I’m glad you could still join us even if you’re a little under the weather.” 

Allison perked up at this, which made Ezra all the happier, and he could see from the corner of his eyes his siblings’ suspicion.  Still, he paid them no mind.  All he could focus on was how effortlessly he felt Allison belonged with his family, the same way that Hailey did.  

“Sorry.” He whispered, once they were relatively alone again.  His parents were starting to prepare for the next course while Maya and Avia helped fix the table to the next stages.  

“Just don’t get too tipsy on me, Gilmore.” Allison grinned, squeezing his kneecap.  “Seriously, stop apologizing! I think this is super cool!” She promised, her expression earnest.  And Ezra knew she meant it.  She wasn’t the type of girl who would lie about such a thing, nor would she even try to make her lie believable if she didn’t care.  

“Okay…” Ezra finally admitted defeat, offering his glass of wine to her thing of juice.  “Happy Passover, Allison.”

“I think you mean, chag sameach, you lazy Jew.” Allison teased with a laugh, clinking her glass to his.  It wasn’t even seconds later that her arms were around him.  “Happy Passover, Ezra.” 

[mamathissurelyisadream]

Glenn

I've thought a lot of things through over the last year, and something's become very clear to me recently in that time.

I feel like I saw the signs of this awhile ago, but I'm just now starting to acknowledge it for what it is.

Right now, I'm almost halfway through my senior year. I've applied Early Action to two colleges -- my back-up and my dream school. And while I wait for decision announcements in mid-December, I pass the time thinking about all the ways my life will change after this year.

I turned 18 last month -- that's the first thing that's different. Suddenly, I'm legally an adult though I understand nothing about taking care of myself. I wasn't expecting the transition from minor to adult to be quite so abrupt as it has been, but I was wrong. However, that's a rant for another day.

I know a lot of high school graduates who told me I'd never talk to anyone I was friends with in high school post-graduation, which makes sense to an extent. There are people who I fully intend to keep in my life as long as possible, who I genuinely think are good influences on me. And as I think about all the people I know and try to predict who I will and will not keep in touch with, I've noticed one person in particular who's been masquerading as a friend since I moved here sophomore year. Up until recently, I never thought anything about it, but he (we'll call him Glenn) has been nothing but a leech, sucking out my life to fuel his own perverted sense of entertainment, satisfaction, and pleasure. And it pains me to come to this conclusion, because he was, quite possibly, the first person I opened up to here. Glenn was vital in my successful transitioning of schools. So to realize after all this time how he's actually been behaving feels like a punch to the gut, like betrayal of the highest order.

Maybe I'm overreacting; I tend to do that -- or, at least, that’s what Glenn says. Let me document some experiences I've had with Glenn, and you can make your own calls about it.

Trigger Warning: Sexual assault, sexual harassment, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, panic attacks, car accidents, generally toxic behavior

As I previously mentioned, I moved here my sophomore year, two months short of 16. I was impossibly shy, which is important to note because Glenn helped me in beginning to overcome this. That's, like I also said, why this all hits so hard.

Glenn wasn't the first person I talked to, but he was the first person I connected with. He was a social, friendly guy with a round, boyish face, and he could strike up a conversation with anyone.

We got to talking, and I liked him instantly. Not in a romantic sense, but I knew right away he would be a good friend to make.

So, a few months pass, and I now have some other friends. Some are mutual between Glenn and me, some are not. Well, one afternoon after the dismissal bell, I was walking through the parking lot with one of those friends, and we were having a pleasant conversation about God knows what. It's potentially of note that said friend is also a friend of Glenn's. And he's male.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see none other than Glenn, eyeing us both with fury like I'd never known existed. I thought maybe I'd imagined it, and I never brought it up, so as far as I know, I did. But it struck me as odd.

Flash forward even more, and Glenn is the first person I officially come out to at this new school in the conservative, Christian Midwest. He shrugs it off, but not as if it doesn't change his opinion -- as if he couldn't be bothered to hear it in the first place. My confidence, which was already lacking without Glenn's help, hits an all-time low. And so now I pick up a blade and fall back into an old bad habit.

Glenn noticed the cuts on my arm one morning where I was uncharacteristically careless about keeping my sleeves down the whole way. He pulls me aside and asks how I am. I confess it all to him, and he's so supportive and understanding that any bad blood I have seems to disappear.

I manage to quit again, thanks to Glenn's intervention.

At some point in my sophomore year, two events happen that are still so unnerving to me. First, a boy in the grade below me harasses me, holding my hand within a half hour of meeting one another and saying we're together. As I said, I'm impossibly shy -- I didn't feel strong enough to tell the boy off myself to his face. Glenn witnessed this, and in the moment I was banking on him to come and help me escape the situation.

He later tells me he found my distress to be amusing. SPOILER: This isn't the last time he says something like that to me.

Not too long after, a girl (we'll call her Darla) full-on gropes me on a bus ride to a band competition; she's grabbing my chest and silencing my attempts to do anything about it. I barely knew her. The only prior interaction we'd had was her expressing pleasure in discovering I was assigned to room with her on an upcoming trip, where she looked me in the eye and told me, "I will do things to you while you're sleeping, and you won't even know it happened." Still, here she was, touching my body, invading my space, and telling any concerned onlookers that, "It's fine. We're close friends. This is how we act around each other," despite my evident discomfort.

Still banking on Glenn for that emotional support, the second we're off the buses I search him out, and I tell him what she had done to me, talking a thousand miles per minute with the adrenaline in my veins making my mind work faster. He shrugs and says, "Oh, Darla? That's just who she is." I would have been better hearing a simple, "Get over it."

Junior year, my precalculus teacher calls me out. She tears right into me, at least that's what it felt like, until I give her the answer she wants, and all the while she overlooks my blatant distress. A friend of mine (we'll call her Angela, because girl's an angel) notices this.

At some point later that year, this story comes up in a conversation between Angela, Glenn, and me. Here I am, obviously uncomfortable and scarred by how that teacher handled things, and here Angela is, backing me up with all her energy, like the savior she is. And Glenn still manages to find it in him to outwardly laugh. He'd said before he found my discomfort amusing. He'd never displayed it so brazenly, brandishing it in front of me (and Angela) like a thing of pride.

Sometime in between those two events though, comes a small event that keeps driving that point home.

A friend (we'll call her Beth) made a comment about Glenn. She and I thought it was innocuous, all in good fun. And so did he, when I told him.

There was a running gag between Beth and me. If I ever tried to tell Glenn what she'd said, she would try and stop me. Nothing crazy, nothing harmful. Just two teenage girls having a laugh.

Glenn witnessed her playfully pull me aside. Afterwards, he told me he "liked the sight of me being dragged away" like that. It made me uncomfortable, and that was that.

The most recent thing that's happened in this Series of Unfortunate Events that Glenn and I call a friendship was in August, when I caused a car crash.

I refuse to go into detail about how the crash went down, because it still terrifies me. But what's important here is Glenn's reaction. As per usual, he's callous, ruthless. He finds the utmost hilarity in my involvement in such an event. I think about that potentially more frequently than I do the crash itself.

That's it. That's the whole story.

Glenn is toxic. I can joke about myself with the best of them, but I know as soon as Glenn jumps in, all bets are off. He's relentless.

And he's not the only one like him in the world.

If there's one thing I know for sure about my future, it's that Glenn doesn't have a place in it. I’m still learning how to love myself, and now I know that that journey begins with removing him from my life.

[evenstevensranked]

#27: Season 2, Episode 1 - “Starstruck”

Ruby desperately wants to win a radio contest to sit in on boyband BBMak’s recording session. Meanwhile, Louis finds an incredibly lucky penny and milks it for all it’s worth.

Wow, guys! Season 2 opens with the BBMak/Lucky Penny/Louis gets a makeover and looks smokin’ hot and Ruby develops a crush on him and I'm like "girl, same" episode!!! Let’s do this.

Alright, so within the first minute of this episode we learn that Ruby is absolutely obsessed with BBMak (a boyband that actually existed and is now unfortunately so irrelevant that some younger viewers of today assume they're a fictional band) and she’s trying to win a contest to go to their recording session when they come to Sacramento. She’s been listening to the radio on her pink, cheetah print walkman for hours on end trying to make sure she’s the lucky caller. Ren is concerned that her intense devotion may not be healthy.. but, Ruby insists she’s not obsessed with them. Her bedroom and behavior says otherwise: 

At school the next day, Louis ends up finding a lucky penny which leads him to experience the best few days in a row ever. It kicks off with him narrowly escaping death and his big history test being canceled due to their teacher’s monkey having babies. The usual. If you binge watch the show, like I’ve done more times than I care to admit, the first few seconds of this scene are shocking because Louis' voice is obviously deeper and he looks obviously older. Yet according to Disney logic we're supposed to believe he's still in 7th grade, lol nah. Maybe at least the second half of 7th grade... We've gone over this before.

Louis seconds away from potentially dying over a penny.

Like I've mentioned, Disney is notoriously bad at airing episodes out of order. So here, we get an episode featuring Ren’s old friend Nelson. The only issue is that this aired 6 episodes before Thin Ice, which is Nelson’s formal introduction. The only explanation I can think of for this is that the Disney execs thought the BBMak thing would make a stronger season opener and switched up the airing order after they were already shot sequentially. I guess they assumed, or hoped, no one would notice or care that there's a new character we've never seen before just chilling with the gang like BFFs lol. According to Wiki at least, Season 2 was aired horrifically out of order when you compare the production code to the number it aired in the season. Like, WOW. For example, this episode was shot as Episode 13. I think that says it all.

No wonder Louis seems so jarringly older in this episode. He’s totally younger in the episodes that were supposed to air during the front half of S2.

Anyway, both Ren and Nelson are concerned about Ruby’s wellbeing now. She has practically turned into a fanatic zombie. They approach her and she says “I haven’t slept. I haven’t eaten. Do you really think I wanna chat?” completely zoned out of her mind. Yeah, I’d be worried too. We also see that she’s not doing her schoolwork either. Her entire binder is full of BBMak, including this rather disturbing pop-up: 

Continuing his string of good luck, Louis gets to eat Principal Wexler’s extravagant birthday lunch for whatever reason and ends up winning a free fashion makeover courtesy of "Fruity Fruit Cocktail." ....ok. Tawny starts to get freaked out and Twitty simply says "I'm starting not to like you" which is understandable, because Louis is quickly slipping into another arrogant phase due to all of the luck he's been having.

Ren and Nelson give Ruby an intervention to stop her ridiculous obsession with BBMak and wanting to marry one of them. Why is this something that never goes out of relevancy? This is still happening today. It’s perhaps more relevant than ever with the rise of internet fandoms and socials like Tumblr. Teens are literally spiraling into genuine insanity over bands like never before. As long as there are teen idols, there will be teen idol fanatics. Can’t really go wrong with a plot-line like this. Ren tells her "You deserve a real life person who's gonna be perfect for you" - Ruby agrees and decides to turn over a new leaf.

The new and improved made-over Louis comes waltzing in, and just like that Ruby replaces her BBMak obsession with a Louis obsession. She’s just blown away by his beauty. Same, tbh. Y’all already know that I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH AND THIS EPISODE KILLED ME!!!! Now that I think about it, this very well might've been the episode that solidified my everlasting fondness for Shia LaBeouf.

This isn’t even overdramatic. Ruby is so me. 

Even Ren and Nelson tell Louis that he looks stunning! Well, “stunning” was Louis’ word, not theirs. They just agreed with his conceitedness, lol. Suddenly a bird comes flying into the house and lands on Louis’ shoulder. Of course, it happens to be Pecky -- a missing bird with a $50 reward. OF COURSE!

The next day, Ruby happily tells Ren that she has officially moved on from BBMak. There’s a new guy in her life! Ren is so excited until Ruby reveals the new object of her affection to her: 

Um, is this my room circa 2001 or Ruby’s? I honestly can’t tell. Also I would so buy that big’ol poster of Shia on her closet door. That thing has made a few appearances throughout the series. It’s kind of iconic looking, don’t you think? Maybe that’s just me... 

Just thought I’d mention: Ren asks her “How did you get these pictures?!” and Ruby explains “I downloaded them from the internet. Louis has a very interesting website.” Do I even want to know? Aside from the implied potentially disturbing content, part of me wishes Disney had some sort of interactive fake louisstevens.com website or something like Nickelodeon did with amandaplease.com! 

Tawny insists that Louis' lucky streak is nothing but “admittedly weird coincidences,” until Louis calls in to win the huge BBMak contest and......... wins. I love how he acts so blasé about it. The DJ is so excited and Louis is all "Eh.. What can I say? This whole charmed life thing is getting kinda old." Also, the DJ in this scene, who appears two more times in the series, was one of the many actors recycled for That’s So Raven. He played a news reporter on that show. Similar field. Huh. 

Ren believes that Ruby is simply rebounding with Louis and decides to show her his nasty bedroom to make her realize she doesn't actually like him. Ren also tells Ruby that he’s rotten and selfish, which... Is kinda true sometimes, oops. But at the same time, that scene always makes me a little sad inside. Louis is a good guy at heart, Ren!!

Just then, Louis appears in the doorway asking "What are you doing in my room?" and we get this incredible exchange:

(credit)

Louis then proceeds to very unselfishly invite Ruby to the BBMak recording session which only reinforces her crush on him. 

Okay. We finally make it to this darn recording session! Thank god. Louis might as well’ve brought his entire extended family because he brought four freaking people along with him like it’s some free for all. You usually don’t push your luck when you’re gifted something like that... but, oh yeah. Lucky penny. I freaking love this bit where Ren whispers to Ruby “Woo! He’s gorgeous...” referring to Christian from BBMak, and Ruby says “I know.......” in reference to Louis! LOL. 

Ren is so disgusted and once again Ruby is me.

Shia has been gorgeous in my eyes for nearly my entire life!!!!!!!!! Apparently I'm weird because I've seen so many memes about him that say things like "He was that ugly, weird kid on Even Stevens and then he magically became good looking" I'm just sitting here like??? Y'all are about 14 years late to the party.

Louis and Twitty get distracted by a table with free cheese on it, which honestly is the best part of any and every function or gathering. Not even gonna lie. While hanging around the cheese table, Twitty decides to seize the opportunity and give BBMak an Alan Twitty Project demo tape of “Sacramento Girl.” (YESSSSS!) They lie and say they’ll check it out — but immediately stuff it under a block of cheese. As a musician, I can confirm that this is too real. It’s impossible to get successful/established artists to take you seriously. I met Fall Out Boy at a local radio junket once and slipped Pete Wentz a demo. I never heard anything, sooo... It stings to know that he most likely hid it under some cheese the second I left. 

BBMak are looking for a ‘Sacramento sound’ (whatever that is) and encourage Louis to play some tambourine on their track! They tell him “If this works out, you could come on tour with us!” If only it was that easy to land a national gig in real life. Ruby mentions in passing that she needs to tell Louis how she feels, and TAWNY IS NOT HAVIN’ IT! Omg. She kinda gets jealous of Ruby’s crush and they start a small argument over him. Ren cannot believe what she's witnessing and I love it. Also, Christy looks fantastic here? Whoever did her hair and makeup: Good job!! wow!

Unfortunately, Ruby’s attraction to him is short-lived and comes to a screeching halt the second Louis loses his penny during his tambo solo, jumping around like a lunatic with no rhythm. (Again, HOW does he become a drummer later on? It’s a mystery.) It’s very subtle, but you can tell once Ruby starts finding Louis "odd and annoying," that Tawny is secretly happy about it and still obviously likes him unconditionally even though he's literally insane. Same, Tawny.

So, yeah. Louis loses his penny and his luck runs out. BBMak basically kick him out of the studio. I love how Louis asks them “What about the record and the touring?! What about BBMak-Stevens?!” as if the conversation ever went that far. It’s great. I might’ve spoke too soon about Shia being gorgeous because the faces he makes when he realizes the penny is missing from his pocket are the furthest thing from the adjective: 

It is hysterical, however. And that outweighs everything else here, so.

This episode ends on an AMAZING note: A super cringy music video for “Sacramento Girl”! What more could you ask for?!?! We get some Twitty-Stevens Connection action here and it’s something to behold. 😂  Be on the lookout for Shia doing his classic “shirt-over-the-head” thing he does, HAHA. You can tell some of the vocals were done by middle-aged men (probably Jim Wise) which makes it even more hilarious. My favorite lyric has got to be the Grammy award worthy: “Before I met the girl I had it made... Now she scores higher than the whole arcade. YEAH!” And of course, the episodes’ immortal last words "TAKE THAT, BBMAK!!!!" will go down in history.  

That’s it! I honestly don’t even know why I’m ranking this one “lower.” It’s probably one of my personal favorites but.. Idk man. There are simply other episodes that I like more, lol. This is a totally solid episode though! Super memorable, pretty strong humor (including music-related humor... which you know I love!), and two awesome plot-lines that blend really well! But, even with all of that.. something felt slightly flat about it when re-watching. It could possibly just be from me watching these episodes waaay too much, tbh. It also probably has something to do with it being a “special” episode with guest stars and whatnot. Episodes like that tend to feel like totally separate things to me. 

At this point, we’ve officially reached the REALLY REALLY GOOD part of the list, though. So I don’t feel too bad about placing it here. There are no “bad” episodes from here on out. Well, there are no bad episodes of Even Stevens in general really. But.. you guys know what I mean.

I’m probably gonna regret and rethink this entire list once I finish it anyway so, lol. 

Thanks for reading! 

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[apprenticebard]

I'm not a particularly big fan of many of our other national landmarks, but I think the SOL is by far the most egregious example. I'm disinclined to say that depicting pagan deities is inherently wrong; the trouble comes from granting them importance. So when you depict a pagan deity, you need to be careful not to vault over the line from "retelling ancient stories" to "identifying with a false god and making it synonymous with your nation". The SOL was actually created to do the latter.

Hm. So the difficulty comes when we grant pagan deities symbolic importance, even if we don’t “worship” them. I don’t think I agree that that’s necessarily a sin, but it strikes me as the sort of thing that reasonable people can disagree about, and I grant that using pagan deities as national symbols is the sort of thing that could certainly lead to trouble.

I suppose I have to admit that if I didn’t have any sentimental attachment to the statue (and the poem), building a giant statue of a Roman goddess and making it a symbol of the country would seem like a bad idea.

God is the only one who creates things ex nihilo, so all sin is only a corrupted form of something God created to be good. Much sin or perhaps all of it can be defined as putting something before God. It is good to be endlessly forgiving of your spouse, but it’s bad to “stand with your spouse right or wrong”, because God is the right thing, and doing the right thing should come before your spouse, or before anything else; it’s the same way with patriotism.            

There is both figurative and literal idolatry. Many Christians believe that idolatry is what I’ve described, putting something else before God, but that’s only figurative idolatry. Literal idolatry is something we’ve forgotten, blocked out of our minds, even though it’s obvious - the creation and worship of an inanimate deity intended to represent what we put before God. We’re all figurative idolators, ie, sinners, but America does both in parallel; this is certainly and harshly condemned.            

Hm. We’ve established that neither of us has an “America, right or wrong” attitude, so we haven’t actually put our country before our moral system (which I would hope, in our case, is founded on our understanding of the will of God). I suppose my specific objections here are 1) I think you’re exaggerating the importance that people place on the SOL, and 2) I don’t see how people “worship” it, even as a lesser deity than God. As I said, I like the Statue of Liberty (….I will admit that I liked her more before I realized she was meant to be a Roman goddess, but I still love that poem). I probably like her more than the average American, but I’d say that the way I interact with God and the way I think of the Statue of Liberty are very clearly different. I don’t think of the statue as an entity that can do anything for me, I don’t ask it for help, I don’t tell it how great it is, I don’t often tell other people how great it is, and I’m not trying to please it or do what it wants. I don’t think of the statue as having a will. It doesn’t even represent something that has a will, except insofar as it represents America. I guess America has about 300 million wills.

The point is, I care more about my mom and my friends and my job and the novel I’m writing than I do about the SOL. I don’t see why caring about the SOL should be idolatry if those other things aren’t, even if the statue is meant to depict a deity.

I think that in the foundational documents of our country, you can find a truly good ideal of liberty, something that’s fundamentally true and consequently is Godly wisdom. But the SOL is a physical manifestation of our twisting that ideal and putting it before God; as long as it stands, we can know that we are fundamentally on the wrong path. One could see it as a message from God through sin that we have made a terrible mistake.            

I will admit that I don’t know enough about what went into the creation of the SOL in order to agree with or dispute the idea that it’s celebrating something different than the right referenced in the Declaration of Independence.

I only partly intended the abortion connection as evidence that the SOL is an idol; rather, my primary intent was to demonstrate that if you accept a Biblically-informed view of the nature and consequences of idols, the otherwise-inexplicable sudden-onset insanity of the sexual revolution, legal abortion, and abortion culture all suddenly make sense: that’s just what idols do; that’s a common historical symptom of idolatry, that’s why idols are bad, all kinds of sin are done in their name.            

I don’t think the sexual revolution or abortion came out of nowhere, and I think it would be very weird if the consequences of the idol didn’t occur until almost a hundred years after its design. Everyone involved in the SOL’s creation was already dead by 1970! Why should the consequences hit us that decade?

As I said, I don’t think all of the sin the US has committed is a result of the SOL; that’s obviously, trivially false.  I mostly think that it’s a dark beacon of our sin, that it’s such a stupidly blatant sin that of course we’d be cursed by God to commit worse sins than the ones whose cessation we were celebrating, and that in the unlikely event that we get wise to it and tear it down, our national lifespan would increase as a natural result.            

I don’t know that God curses people to commit sins. (I know the verses in exodus where God “hardened Pharaoh’s heart”, but that’s the only relevant example I can think of.)

I’m glad you acknowledge that plenty of awful things happened before the Statue of Liberty was erected.

And most of all, when I realized how the SOL is the exact sort of thing the Bible most harshly condemns, that induced the realization that a depressingly low number of people historically have been as spiritually observant as they’d said.  If we’ve really gotten so much less religious in the past century and a half, how on Earth did an ostensibly very Christian nation allow a new pagan idol to become one of its chief symbols?            

Oh yeah, I definitely agree with this assertion. We were never as Christian as the right-wing Christian patriots want to believe we were. If anything, I think the way that I was taught American history as a child comes closer to idolatry than anything I was taught about the Statue of Liberty. We were told we were a chosen people, a new Israel, the greatest country in the world, and that we’d taken the lands of the Native Americans and broken all our promises to them because God had “blessed us with expansion”. If that’s not the sin of pride, what is?

A lot of our Christian heritage was a skin-deep cultural thing, I think. That’s not to say that the Puritans in Massachusetts or the Quakers in Pennsylvania or the Catholics in Maryland weren’t sincere in their belief–certainly it takes sincere belief to risk your life for the sake of being allowed to worship freely. It’s just that in any culture where a certain religion is expected, people will go through the motions for the sake of their neighbors, not for God. Just as giving the Church earthly power leads to people claiming faith to gain power, giving the Church social power leads to people claiming faith to avoid ostracism. These aren’t mechanisms that lead people to genuine faith very effectively.

I agree with you on the cosmic insignificance of America; in fact, though I desperately want to save it, I don’t believe it’s going to happen, and I currently hope to move out sometime in my lifetime - I just worry I’ll put it off too long.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. Nobody down here does, I don’t think. But that’s OK; I know the important things, and there’s plenty of work left to be done down here, for as long as God gives us to do it. I’m not looking for opportunities to leave–I think I can help more people by working here than I could if I worked anywhere else.

I hope things go well for you.

I also agree with you about the corruptibility of combined spiritual and political power - though that’s the primary reason I’m not a Catholic! (I’m not one of the types who thinks Catholics aren’t saved or that they’re the final boss, though.)  

I like to think we’ve learned a bit since the middle ages. The modern Church doesn’t hold anything close to the level of political power it once did, and I think that’s for the best.

In any case, I’m glad to hear you count us as part of the faithful. It’s a bit of a relief; I’ve spent too much time with protestants whose first association with idolatry is “you know, those Catholics make wood carvings of Mary sometimes.”

I’m glad that you’re intrigued by my position; it’s been very pleasant interacting with you, and I hope to do so more in the future, though I’ll be very busy for the next few days.  I’m also a writer; I wish you good luck in those endeavors.  :)  Praise God. +            

I’m glad you’ve found it pleasant! I love interacting with people who believe things I’ve never heard of, especially if they have reasons to back them up. I used to get a lot of that from the Catholic forums I’d visit (for a group with more official teachings than perhaps any of the Protestant sects, faithful Catholics hold a very wide range of opinions when it comes to specific questions that fall outside those official teachings), but I haven’t had the energy to read those threads lately. So this has been nice, and I want to thank you for sharing your perspective with me.

Best of luck to you, too.