#like normal people

[thief-of-eggs]

Thinking about Alastor sitting down to play at the piano one night, once everyone is settled into the new Hotel. His playing starts off jazzy, then, as time goes on, slowly bleeds into something more melancholy. Something almost mournful, but not quite. There’s notes of joy in it, albeit hidden under longing bars.

Lucifer hears it, lilting across the hotel halls. He chases it down, transfixed by the notes, by the soul whom is pouring itself into them. Lucifer has always been a dreamer, a supporter of dreamers, and there is no better dreamer than the artist.

And when he happens upon the correct room, peering inside to behold Alastor- of all people- hunched over the instrument, gracefully pouring himself into the keys- Lucifer’s thoughts turn on their heads. A warmth blossoms in his chest. A tugging at his heart that he hasn’t felt in centuries.

He watches Alastor for ages. Wondering at the beautiful tune, what emotion could possibly back it. He watches with such softness in his gaze, affection weaving underneath his features, all while the warmth spreads all throughout his cold soul.

When Alastor finishes, he looks up, noticing the form standing in the door, and startles, his face flushing with crimson. Lucifer is quick to murmur his praises, and Alastor even quicker to mumble his thanks, sweeping out before Lucifer can question him further.

Because how is he to explain that the symphony Lucifer heard was one orchestrated by Alastor’s own twisting feelings for the angel?

[loquarocoeur]

max and charles birthdays are coming up, how much birthday sex do we think they’re gonna have

Sigh. Probably too much birthday sex...

[hel7l7]

I don’t know what to read next… any suggestions?

[gojonanami]

y’all really love to get angry about fictional characters and their sexualities

they don’t exist

just let people do what they want

[ede917]

I decided to draw more of my si/oc for Hazbin Hotel: Capper Dubois.

He and Alastor's Mother (Am) first met in 1906 at his favorite diner where she worked as a waitress (that he later bought to give her job security, he's rich and does nice things for people he likes, sue him) when he was 20, she was 25, and Alastor was 6.

They were just good friends until he caught Alastor's father abusing them when Alastor was 13. Capper beat him half to death then threw him out of the house and told him never to come back (if he later went missing and Capper and Alastor had a bonding moment out in the bayou together with nothing but a cinderblock and some rope, well, that's no one's business but their's).

Capper and Am's romance after that was a whirlwind, dancing and singing and painting the town. Alastor (15) even gave her away at their wedding (and if anyone didn't like the idea of a lowly black waitress marrying one of the most powerful men in New Orleans, then they were quick to learn that gators got to eat too).

After Am's death from a brain aneurysm in 1928, Capper fell into depression, just going through the motions of life. The only thing he still found joy in was his son Alastor and his radio broadcast. But when Alastor was shot and killed by a hunter in 1933, Capper completely lost it. He tracked that hunter down and fed him to his own dogs before letting the authorities catch him. He was sentenced to death and given the chair in 1934.

Finding himself in Hell, Capper was quick to reunite with Alastor, the only family he had left (he being one of the few people in all of creation Alastor genuinely cares for). With his son's help, he was able to establish himself as one of Hell's sovereign overlords. Using his experience from his time in the New Orleans underground, he made himself a demon of principles: fair contracts for the souls in his employ, merciless brutality against his enemies, and endless torment to those he genuinely hates (pedophiles, rapists, the hunter, Alastor's father, Valentino) every hated soul claimed, adding another eye to his tail.

Eventually however, he hears about a passion project led by one Charlie Morningstar, Princess of Hell. A hotel for rehabilitating sinners and getting them into Heaven. Probably the first time in 90 years Capper felt any hope of seeing his wife again.

And so, he became Charlie's first true supporter (aside from Vaggie) providing aid to the hotel in exchange for safe haven for his people on extermination day and the hope of reuniting with Am in Heaven.

And then shortly after the battle with Heaven and the opening of the new hotel . . .

He was betrayed. Murdered on the steps of the hotel he gave so much to defend.

Of course, death isn't always final.

Overall, Capper would say he's fairly happy with how things turned out.

[confusedkittensposts]

In today's news, the fandom breaths a sigh of relief over the continued existence of old man's beard.

[joseopher]

fuck you. I take your favourite conventionally attractive character and make them human. you like their unnaturally smooth skin? TOO BAD THEY'VE GOT PIMPLES ON THEIR BACK AND SCARS ON THEIR SHOULDERS AND MARKS FROM THEIR SOCKS ON THEIR ANKLES! you like their unhealthy figure? NOW THEIR FACE IS PUFFY IN THE MORNING, THEY HAVE EDEMA FROM RECOVERING AND THEY. HAVE. STOMATCH. ROLLS. you like how they're just like every other character that gets popular on here? YELLOW SCLERA! STRECH MARKS! UNQUIE AND DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS!!!!!!!!

[snezfics-n-shit]

family members stop talking about allergies every conversation challenge (impossible for some reason)

[the-hopeless-fanboy]

Me dming my mutuals unhinged bullshit in an attempt to make friends.

[rlvaille]

honestly if you have the time and money to follow a group everywhere and be there for every concert, i wish you a very fuck you

[moonlightpirate]

I love when I go out of my way to ask my IRL friends how their weekend was or how their doing etc and they never ask about me 🙄

[littlemourningstar]

Just realized my husband and I call each other “daddy” and “mama” because that’s who our dog knows us as

[redraven393]

if I have a nickel for every time I favor the blue-colored-themed Character and is also known to have a Teleporting ability, then I would have 3 nickels.

first is an experience, the second is a coincidence but the third is a pattern so I think I found my favorites

they are all so fukin different but god do I love them

[outlier-roddy]

The levels of cunty potential here

[praise-suns-and-chill]

Wonder if he would have done that to a racoon too.

They are more dangerous than any snake, they can carry rabies after all.

Would people react the same if they would need to think about a decapitated racoon in someone's closet?

as a kid, I walked into a closet, saw an enormous snake, and then walked out. I walked up to my dad, as you do, and said "dad there's a huge snake in the closet"

so he smiled smugly, grabbed his knife (I think it was a machete?), walked off, and then I heard him scream followed shortly by three panicked slams

it turns out he didn't actually think he'd find a huge snake in there, but it sure was there, and he sure did chop it into three pieces