#like no youre really fucking stupid and make bad decisions constantly

[nathaslosthershit]

Coworkers?… Something like that (MV33)

Summary: Working in media for a Formula 1 team, you had expected to be behind the scenes, unseen and unnoticed by fans. But catching the eye of one of the drivers and the very public flirting as a result has thrust you into the spotlight Part of my summer event! Warnings: A little suggestive hehe.

It was the perfect job for you. Part of the team you love, far from the spotlight. You were good at it too. Constantly complimented by your boss in meetings on how much engagement some of the content you came up with got. Even the two drivers, who were certainly not known for enjoying media making them do stupid games for the fans, had stopped complaining as much. One driver in particular seemed to really enjoy when you would work with him…

You’d never been a big fan of Max Verstappen. It wasn’t that you disliked him, he was extremely talented of course, and not too bad to look at, but as you had always rooted for the underdog, you couldn’t justify ever celebrating his many many wins. But as you got to know him, as he gave you the warmest of welcomes to the team, you changed your mind. 

You two had been keeping your budding relationship to yourselves. Despite how much you liked each other, until you both had figured out where the relationship was going, it didn’t seem wise to tell anyone, especially while you were just finishing your first year with Red Bull. Despite how much you helped improve the team’s social media presence, if something happened, if it came down to their world champion a few times over, or some girl in media who had only been there for a year…

Luckily, it did get more serious, very serious. After a long conversation, you both had come to the decision that you won’t say anything explicitly, as Red Bull didn’t have rules on dating coworkers that would warrant an official notice to HR, but you wouldn’t hide as much. 

Too bad this decision was made not long before the Drive to Survive team came to film extra content for the show.

It was only supposed to be filler clips. Extra video footage to use with a voiceover to give more time to explain things. ‘Just pretend we aren’t here’ they had told everyone in the office, and oh boy did you pretend. 

It was Max’s fault, 100%. The undisclosed but very apparent relationship between you two was known to everyone at Red Bull at this point, but not the new video crew coming in. And Drive to Survive lives for the dramatics. 

While it wasn’t explicit, a few clips of hand holding (initiated by Max), a kiss on the cheek (given to you by Max), and multiple clips of Max looking at you with nothing but heart eyes, it was hard for anyone watching to ignore. 

Once the new season came out, fans very quickly caught onto all of the content of the two of you that DTS was trying to be sneaky about putting in. That then led to ‘internet sleuths’ finding all of the behind the scenes content they could get of both of you, and then finding your account you had left public thinking no one would care about the random Red Bull media girl. How stupid you were.

“Max, what the fuck are we supposed to do? Do I delete my account and hope people forget?” You asked, stressed by the sudden spotlight.

“That would just make it worse and make them less likely to forget. We will just have to… be honest, give people enough content to keep them satisfied but not spoiled into needing more.”

He was right. It was almost laughable how he was the voice of reason in this situation when media presence was your job. That is how everything started.

There were no ‘official wag paddock walks’, you were too busy working to be Max’s arm candy before a race. But there were a few photos here and there, your team even posted a few BTS moments of the two of you.

“All you have to do is describe the food you are eating to Checo so he can guess.” You explained to Max for the fourth time, but he was still not listening as he was far too busy appreciating the view of the beautiful woman he got the privilege of calling his girlfriend. “Do you understand?”

As Sergio nudged Max, he responded with a quick, “Yes got it”

“Do not say the name of what you are eating.”

“Yes, yes we know.” He absentmindedly said as the two drivers put on their blindfolds. 

Everyone let out a breath of relief as Max went to lift the spoon to his mouth, the entire crew antsy to finish what was supposed to be a quick video before Max ruined it with his heart eyes and lack of comprehension to anything that came out of your mouth. 

“What the fuck! It’s ketchup!” Max exclaimed as everyone groaned.

“Max, you weren’t supposed to say that!”

“I thought I was guessing what it was! That's why I had the blindfold, no?”

They were in for a long day of shooting.

Max had started a stream, hoping to make it quick so he could join you in bed. Unfortunately, when viewers saw that you were walking through the background, they wouldn’t give up until you joined, so neither of you had much of a choice.

Despite how obvious it was that the two of you were together, neither of you had confirmed the status of your relationship. This led to having to ignore about three quarters of the comments you both were getting on the stream.

“Would you like a Red Bull?” Max asked, 45 minutes into what seemed to be a never ending stream.

“No it’s too late, I’ll go get a water-”

“Nope you stay there i'll get it.” Max said, antsy for an excuse to take a moment to himself. The amount of comments about the two of you were starting to piss him off.

He returned to the room to see you answering questions and, while still off camera, he set down the glass and waved to get your attention.

‘End it’ he mouthed, making prayer motions with his hands.

You simply shook your head, you had been having more fun talking to people than he had.

‘Please, I want to go to bed with you’ he mouthed back, wiggling his eyebrows in hopes of conveying he wanted to do much more than simply go to bed. You couldn’t stop the giggle that left your mouth at that.

Seeing all the viewers confused, you simply responded, “Sorry, my coworker was harassing me” which had you giggling again as you saw Max get visibly annoyed at his new title.

“Okay guys, bye.” Was all Max said as he quickly returned to the view of the camera and turned off the stream. He then turned to face you, saying nothing as he dragged you to the bedroom, holding you close as he pushed you down onto the bed with him, causing more giggles to leave your mouth/

Giggles which he quickly stopped with a kiss. And then another. And then another.

The makeout session was in full swing when Max finally remembered why he was annoyed.

Quickly pulling away from you, much to your chagrin, he asked, ��Coworkers? Is that all we are now?” He teased.

Giving him a less passionate but more loving kiss this time, you responded with, “Something like that” as you both started to remove your clothes.

[yinyuedijun]

TOKYO VICE | part 1

You knew that if you agreed to move in with Suo, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these alarming behaviours were all signs that he desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good decision. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Unfortunately for you, you rarely made good decisions. (Or: After joining the yakuza, Suo develops the concerning habit of controlling every facet of your life. This is somehow less worrying to you than your uncontrollable lust around him.)

8.7k words. suo x fem reader. deeply unserious yakuza au. yandere suo (not abusive and reader is into it), dark comedy, a little angst, smut. warnings: borderline sex work, off-screen criminal violence. nsft – no actual smut in this chapter, but there are still graphic discussions of sex. mdni. thank you to @sleepyqinfei for beta reading and to @/cafekitsune for the banner!

sequel to sincerity and this sakura/reader wip

part 2 here

You’re not exactly sure why you and Suo have never fucked.

It’s certainly strange, given that you're pretty sure that Suo has expressed at least passing interest in you over the years, and you have felt a lot of interest in him. (By ‘interest’, you mean that you feel an insatiable lust around him that you fight to ignore on a daily basis.) You can't exactly pinpoint why nothing has ever happened despite this mutual attraction, especially given your profession and indifferent feelings toward casual sex.

You can think of a number of probable reasons, which are separate from those you classify as stupid reasons. The latter class comprises silly concerns like a fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being pretty enough, fear of not being good enough, et cetera. All very juvenile feelings—insecurities that you had in your teenage years, the days in which Suo ran around Makochi as a delinquent while you worked an honest job at a bar. (It was a girls’ bar in the red light district, but that's neither here nor there.) Your circumstances have since changed, and those anxieties have since faded. None of them have any material consequence for your current life, so you don't see any point in thinking about them.

The stupid reasons, then, definitely don't have anything to do with why you've never fucked Suo. But you can think of a few, more concrete reasons that may explain it. For one, Suo has been your friend since childhood and it’s generally a bad idea to have sex with your long-time friends. He was also your roommate for a while and it’s an even messier idea to have sex with your roommates. And now, in your adulthood, he’s your landlord in addition to being your boss, which makes him the worst possible person you could have sex with. You could lose both your home and your livelihood if things go south—both severe, material consequences that should theoretically keep your lust at bay.

Also, he's also a member of the yakuza.

Now, strictly speaking—you're not really opposed to having sex with violent criminals. It’s definitely not a good idea, but you don't usually have good ideas anyway. But for the past several years, you’ve been pissed at Suo for joining the yakuza in the first place, which actually does keep your blatant attraction to him in check. You simply dry up when you think too hard about all the feelings of betrayal.

When Suo was on the cusp of graduating from Furin and thinking about his future, you’d grabbed him by the collar and made him promise not to join the yakuza. They constantly tried to recruit from Bofurin, and they especially wanted Sakura, Suo, and Sugishita. You were adamant about chasing them off from Suo and Sakura whenever they approached—you had no need to worry about Sugishita, as Umemiya had already said he shouldn't talk to them, so there was no chance he was going to—and you begged Suo over and over not to join. Delinquency was fine, but a crime syndicate was something else altogether.

Suo seemed serious about it when he said he'd listen to you. He even applied to colleges, talked about maybe becoming a teacher and eventually supporting you so you could stop working in the mizu shobai industry. Back then, he often teased you by saying that you should marry him and be his housewife (or he could be your trophy husband, if you so wished). You thought he was joking, but with the way he always talked about his life after his degree, you wondered if he would seriously suggest it.

Of course, it was most likely just teasing, and you were fine with that. You were simply excited that he'd found a career that would make him happy. Nirei had also been accepted to university at that point, and even Sakura had an honest job lined up on Keisei Street. The future had looked bright for everyone.

Then Suo’s master died, and he lost his fucking mind.

The two of you buried Suo’s master in a Chinese funeral. He had never had children of his own, having satisfied his paternal instincts by picking up strays, and he didn't have much in the way of family in Japan either, so you and Suo performed the shou ling yourselves. One person kept a constant vigil over his body while the other searched on Google for what arrangements should be made next. After all, while Suo’s master had immersed his foremost disciple in his culture, he had never taught Suo any funerary customs. He hadn't thought there would be a need.

Suo didn't cry nearly as much as you, but he was probably in more pain. Your master had trained you a little bit when you were a kid, and he'd taken you in for a while after your parents kicked you out, so of course you were gutted. But he had practically raised Suo, so it was naturally worse for him. More shattering.

You often think about the first night you decided you'd sleep with him in the same futon because he was crying so much. He insisted he was fine, but he didn't complain when you got under the sheets with him and started thumbing away his tears. When you took off his eyepatch, you found, to your astonishment, that he was crying from his missing eye as well. Both of you thought the tear ducts had been destroyed in either the accident or the enucleation, but it appeared that not even that prior trauma could mask his grief over this one.

Nevertheless, by the time of the funeral procession, Suo had stopped crying.

“Master supported us and taught us to stand on our own two feet,” he said as the joss paper burned. He took your hand in his and smiled. “So it'll be fine. We’ll be okay on our own. I'll make sure of it.”

At the time, you had found this very comforting. You didn’t think too much of it, as you had a bad habit of relying on Suo for your emotional stability. His master had raised him to be an emotionally intelligent person, so it had been fine, even though you had a track record of reckless decisions. He’d still exercised endless patience with you. He never once got angry with you, nor did he ever force you to do what he felt was the right thing. Instead, he gently redirected your self-damaging behaviours—not so different from the martial art that he practised.

He disapproved of the run-down and lonely conditions of your apartment, so he spent a great deal of time there and helped make it into a proper home. He didn't like how dangerous your job at the girls’ bar was, so he walked you to and from work every night until you never left without him. He worried when you started having sex with your customers, especially when you began having nervous breakdowns over it (you were, after all, still a teenager and really only interested in having romantic vanilla sex with Suo), so he staged an intervention with Nirei and Sakura. In this way, Suo convinced you that you were loved and protected and didn't need to do something you hated so much. They would get you out if you felt trapped. And you didn't feel trapped, per se, so you left on your own—but it was still only because of them. You promised them afterwards that you'd never do it again.

This was Suo’s brand of kindness as a teenager. He always taught people, guided them away from harm rather than steering them—a behaviour he’d mimicked from your master. Your master, in general, had defined all of Suo’s values and his way of living, which was honest and gentle and conscientious. It was one where he used his abilities to protect the weak and care for his friends. He even kept his spiteful and alarmingly violent tendencies under control, though sometimes he slipped when fighting genuine assholes. But he still tried. He tried because he strived to be as kind as his master—who represented everything that Suo wanted to be in his adult life.

Thus, the death of Suo’s master meant the death of his principles. It changed the kind of man that Suo wanted to be. You don't want to say that he became a worse person, but he absolutely became a worse person.

He especially became a worse person with you.

As it turned out, Suo’s idea of making sure that the two of you would be fine on your own was, well, not really fine. It wasn’t that he became cruel to you, per se. It was more that whenever he saw a problem with your behaviour, his approaches to redirecting it became—put as nicely as possible—heavy-handed.

After your master’s death, you got a job at a high end, yakuza-owned club. Two weeks later, Suo broke his promise to you and joined the yakuza. So I can stay close to you, he explained gently, wiping away your tears as you cried hysterically, but you're convinced to this day that he did it partly out of spite. So a few years later, when you started having sex with your customers again and he tried to stop you, you decided to spite him back. I need to stay on top of the rankings, you'd explained dispassionately. The mamasan said it's fine, and the manager doesn't care. He even thinks it's good for business.

Suo’s response was to simply become the owner of your club.

This move was very extreme, but also very effective. Any customer who so much as brushed against you on the premises was instantly thrown out, and the mamasan started watching you like a hawk to make sure you weren’t going to any love hotels after work. Douhan were off-limits. For the first time since your teens, you became completely celibate—not only because of your new workplace circumstances, but because you simply didn't want to find out what Suo would do if you got together with a man he despised (and he despised every man you dated).

His most absurd play was when he became concerned about your living conditions again. Your latest apartment was too plain, too small, and the area was too dangerous. It didn't even have a shower, and the other tenants behaved concerningly toward you when you went to the bathhouse at night. But the rent was cheap, and it was still an upgrade from your last place, so you shrugged it off when Suo suggested that you move. Even when someone tried to accost you at night, you were nonchalant about it. You kicked the shit out of them in a fight and continued your routine unbothered.

The next month, Suo bought a luxury penthouse and suggested you move in with him.

His offer (command) came with conditions. One of the bigger ones was that you'd let him accompany you out at night if you ever needed to run errands in dangerous places. Or—nevermind, actually. He should really just accompany you everywhere at night. Maybe during the day too. And—ah, there was no way you'd be going to work alone, nor coming back by yourself—you were now always to be driven by someone in his organisation, if he wasn't available himself. Rent was a point of contention, when you asked about it: you wanted to pay at market rate, and he insisted that there was no need to pay at all. He ended up proposing a highly discounted price, which would give you ample financial freedom, but questionable financial independence.

These were insane terms. You knew that if you agreed, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these behaviours were all signs that Suo desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good idea. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Case in point—he was likely connected to the brutal accident that later befell the man who tried to assault you.

“I'm not sure what you're implying, but at least he didn't die,” Suo said cheerfully when you confronted him about it. Which really meant: At least I decided not to kill him. This was a flag bigger and redder than any other you've ever known, and you consider yourself an expert in red flags. You knew you should run in the other direction.

So naturally, you put your arms around him, tenderly said, I'm sorry I've been worrying you, and then you moved in the next day.

While Suo treats you with endless patience, you have personal limits to the patience that you exercise with him. Specifically, your patience with how he treats you.

You don't mind the lack of social freedom, nor the lack of personal freedom, nor the lack of freedom of movement. You also don't mind living with a man full of intractable trauma surrounding the death of every parental figure in his life; in fact, you'd rather be by his side than not, if he needs to cope with something so painful. And anyway, your friendship is otherwise unchanged if you ignore the heavy restrictions he's imposed on every facet of your life. So that's all fine.

But the celibate lifestyle that he's cornered you into? You simply aren't built for it. Holy shit, do you need to get laid.

Nearly two years without sex has brought you close to another nervous breakdown (there have been few better sources of entertainment or validation in your life), and worst of all, it has made your profound lust for Suo incredibly hard to ignore. Waking up every morning to him in a towel, his hair still wet from the shower and his broad silhouette exposed, tests the absolute limits of your self-control. The contours of his lean and muscled form are distracting enough; coupled with the vivid colours and lines of his irezumi, the sight of him becomes maddening. It is a horrible thing to be exposed to when you haven't gotten any dick nor strap in over a year. It gives you thoughts about him that are overtly sexual, which is bad, as you have materially consequential reasons for not wanting to fuck Suo.

Things with him must absolutely stay platonic. But with sexual frustration like yours, being platonic with him means that you need to get erotic with someone else. A boyfriend or girlfriend is out of the question; you don't want to be responsible for yet another brutal accident. So you instead decide to quit your job at his club and start working on Keisei Street. At least this way, you can start fucking your customers again.

It’s a perfect plan. Suo’s oyabun is very indulgent toward him, and everyone else in the family respects him too. He consequently has a tight grip on his organisation and the territory they control, despite his relatively young age. Not a single person is ever to touch Keisei Street—largely because Sakura is part of Roppo-Ichiza, and Suo is nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. Plus, many of his other fellow Furin alumni are in the gang as well. If Suo’s men ever started fucking with people on Keisei Street, it would not only have grave implications for gang relations—it would be personally upsetting for Suo. This means you can fuck all the Keisei Street customers you want, and not get a single one of them threatened or killed.

A pretty brilliant idea, if you do say so yourself.

Suo’s expression doesn't change when you break the news to him. He delicately places his teacup—custom-made from Yixing, just like the matching clay teapot—down on the mahogany tabletop, and he looks at you with a calm smile.

“Come again?”

“I'm quitting my job at Red Dragon,” you repeat. “I already gave the mamasan my resignation.”

“And she accepted it?” Suo asks, in a tone that is so carefully nonchalant that you know it means he is actually furious with her. “How interesting,” he muses. “What brought this on?”

“I've found a better paying opportunity on Keisei Street.”

“I'll give you a raise,” he says easily.

“A raise?” You cock a brow. “The pay is mostly commission-based at Red Dragon. You know that.”

“Then it would be unwise to leave. You have a loyal customer base at Red Dragon. All very rich, and”��his smile grows sharp—“very polite.”

Polite. An interesting word. It actually means: None of them will ever proposition or harass you because they know they'll be maimed if they do. An easy thought to use to your advantage.

“It's loyal but it's small. Everyone who's anyone in this part of town thinks that we’re married. Do you know how hard it is to pull new customers in when they're scared shitless of my yakuza husband? And anyway”—you frown, trying to look as pathetic as possible—“I'm lonely.”

Suo stares. He looks surprised, possibly because you absorb every minute of his free time with silly conversation, new restaurants, and skiing trips. (He likes snow, so you ask for these trips more for him to relax than anything else.) You also text him frequently on days he's working, and he very diligently replies, even if he's in the middle of something like a raid or a hit or brokering a massive deal. Suo still very strictly keeps to his rule of never touching his phone when in conversation with other people—unless he needs to text you.

So his suspicion is fair. Suo is very attentive and doesn't allow you much opportunity for loneliness. In turn, you’ve always been very happy spending time with him, even when it's only him.

“Lonely?” he repeats. “Are you, now?”

“Yes. You work so much,” you complain, which is not a lie, “and I don't have any friends to spend time with when you're gone.”

“You have friends from work.”

“No, I have competition at work. The hostesses are so cutthroat about rankings, they hate me. And each other.”

“You like Shuuhei and Hanzo,” he points out, referring to his men who most frequently chauffeur you.

“Yeah, they're friendly, and they're very funny. I like them, but I can't be their friend.” Suo stares at you, nonplussed, so you spell it out: “They're too scared of you to get close to me. What if it looks like they're trying to fuck the boss’ wife?”

“Hm…” Suo studies you, looking thoughtful. Perhaps for the first time, he's contemplating the consequences of restricting your freedoms and marking you as his. That is to say—maybe he's finally realising that you have no friends and no life.

The beads of his earrings glimmer as he tilts his head at you and frowns. Suo almost looks innocent with that confused face of his. “And how would working on Keisei Street help?” he asks.

“Because all our old friends are there!” you exclaim. “Sakura’s in Roppo-Ichiza now so he’ll definitely be coming by all the clubs. Tsubaki too. And Nirei and Kiryu visit them quite often—and even Tsugeura does sometimes, even though clubbing isn't one of his virtues.” You grab onto his arm, pull yourself close, and give him your most disarming, pleading expression. “Please, Suo?”

“Hm.” He strokes your cheek and looks at you fondly, in the way that one would do with an adorable and slightly annoying kitten. “I don’t think so. It’s not very safe there.”

He isn't wrong. Not only are you untouchable on his turf because of your association to him, Suo has also just crushed all the han-gure and petty criminals in his territory with brutal efficiency. His part of the red light district is, quite ironically, one of the safest places in the city, and certainly safer than Keisei Street.

But undeterred, you point out, “Shuuhei and Hanzo can still drive me there and back if you want. But I don't think it's necessary. Do you really think Sakura would let anything happen to me?”

This is the true brilliance of your plan: capitalising on the fact that Suo is as nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. He pauses as soon as you bring up the point, and you can practically see the gears turning. “Well, if it's him…”

“I even texted him about it. Look—here!” You whip out your phone, receipts ready. The corner of Suo's mouth lifts at your obviously rehearsed pitch. “He says he'd make sure I'm taken care of. And he says it'd be nice because he misses seeing us. Can you believe it—Sakura actually admitted that he misses us! Typed it with his own two hands and pressed send! I bet he was super embarrassed about it.”

“Huh. He even used a sticker. I've never seen him do that.” Suo smiles as he reads through the chat. He looks like his old self. You suddenly feel a little wistful, and also a lot bad. This started as a ploy to get laid, but it’s made you realise that you really do miss your friends—and Suo probably does too.

“If I worked on Keisei Street, then you would have plenty of reason to visit,” you point out, feeling somewhat tender.

“I guess that's true,” Suo says. Your heart aches a little bit at the look he gives you. It's a platonic ache, of course. Or at the very least, it isn't an erotic one. It doesn't really make you want to have sex with him anyway. But if you could lean forward and press your lips to his—platonically—then you definitely would.

Suo's civilian friendships are complicated by his double life. Quite unusually for yakuza, Suo’s syndicate insists on using pseudonyms and false histories to avoid anti-yakuza laws, on the off-chance that the police decide to do their jobs and actually enforce those laws someday. Lying for comedy is one of Suo’s greatest passions, so he was happy to manufacture an absurd backstory: his name is Yanzhao, and he learned kung fu in a Shaolin Temple before moving to Hong Kong and working for the triads. He wears the eyepatch because he lost his eye in an altercation with the cops, which he won. By the way, you're his criminally beautiful wife who he met in Macau. The two of you had to leave for Japan since he killed a police officer and now he's wanted by the governments of both China and Hong Kong. Also, he's a very devoted husband, so if anyone lays a hand on you, he’ll kill them too.

Somehow, everyone has bought into this story. Every criminal organisation in the red light district now fears a high-ranking yakuza known as Yanzhao, who is easily recognizable by his eyepatch and tassel earrings, and who is also homicidally obsessed with his beautiful wife.

In some ways, his infamy is convenient. No one wants to fuck with Suo, or with you by extension. But it also poses some issues: Suo has to keep a low profile in areas controlled by rival organisations, or else he might be ambushed. It also means he cannot easily go out and see his old friends. Even though he always masquerades as a civvie when he does, wearing stud earrings and a glass eye, it's still a little risky—especially since he likes to visit the strongest member of Roppo-Ichiza. While Roppo-Ichiza aren’t yakuza, they're still han-gure, so some of its more criminally entangled members might recognize him anyway.

But Sakura himself, bless him, has not put two and two together and figured out that Suo Hayato and Gui Yanzhao are the same person. This is partly because Suo lies very convincingly about his fictional career in the tea industry, but you think it's also because Sakura is so gullible it's endearing.

I use the glass eye now because it's better for networking, Suo had explained before Sakura could interrogate him too much, his voice too smooth and too quick for the other man to get in a word edgewise. My business partners find the eyepatch too silly. The tassel earrings too. By the way, would you like some Baimudan tea? I thought of you when I smelled it—I know you like fragrant things—so I picked some up for you on my last visit to China. I was there for business a couple of weeks ago.

He, of course, neglected to mention that said business involved meeting with the 14K triad.

Despite the enormity of Suo's omission (lie), Sakura is none the wiser whenever he meets with you. He thinks you're just a regular hostess who has freedom of movement and various other human rights, and that Suo’s just a regular guy who isn’t homicidally obsessed with you (a detail of Suo's fabricated life story that is unfortunately grounded in reality). All this to say, Sakura doesn't think twice about mentioning the fact that you have a routine of going to love hotels after work.

Suo, as always, remains calm in the face of unsettling information. He sets down his tea (just tea, without shochu), and politely says, “Pardon?” He's once again using the nonchalant kind of tone that suggests mortal danger.

“She's always going to love hotels after her shifts.” Sakura is frowning at you, pink but scowling. “I thought you said you were done with that stuff. You promised us you wouldn't do it anymore. Suo—are you really okay with this?”

On the one hand, you find it exceptionally sweet that Sakura, after all this time, remembers your promise and wishes to hold you to it. He was so worried about you when you started having those nervous breakdowns as a teenager, and he probably still is. On the other hand, you're shitting bricks at the fact that Suo is now aware of your activities. Because sure, he likely won't fuck with Keisei Street—but you realise, as he stares at you, that you can't be certain of this. After all, your fake yakuza husband has very real homicidal urges.

“Um,” you say. “It's just business.”

“Business,” Suo repeats.

“You don't have to do that stuff to keep good business,” Sakura grouses, unaware of Suo’s carefully suppressed rage. “You're real popular already.”

“Are you?” Suo asks, looking right at you.

“I mean—I told you the pay would be better, right?” you reply, voice oddly high and nervous, and this is when Sakura notices that something is wrong.

“Oh,” Sakura says, looking between the two of you. “Suo, you didn't know?”

“I didn't,” he says. “Actually, she told me specifically that she wasn't going to do that if she worked here.” He turns to you, still smiling. “That's the only reason why I allowed this at all, remember?”

A chill travels down your spine. You did, in fact, commit to a perpetually sexless lifestyle in order to be granted some semblance of freedom: Of course I won't sleep with any customers, you'd said. You know I don't really like doing that anyway. I promise I'll behave! I’ll be out of the clubs and right back home. Sakura said he’d make sure I’ll get to a cab safely after the bar closes and everything!

“Um,” you say again, but this time you have no follow-up.

“Wait,” Sakura demands, “what do you mean by ‘allowed her’? What, do you need to give her permission to work now or something?”

Suo smiles disarmingly at Sakura. Without missing a beat, he says, “Generally no. But we’re dating now, which complicates what she’s allowed to do with other men at her job.”

Sakura spits out his drink. You choke on your spit.

“I… um?!” Sakura’s staring at you, so you quickly recover. This is a mortifying lie, but it's better than Sakura finding out just how batshit Suo has become since his school days. “I thought we were going to keep that a secret, dear?”

“Ah, you're right. Sorry, I got too excited.” Suo gives you an endeared look before turning to Sakura. “We were going to keep it to ourselves unless we got serious about it. But we've been talking about marriage lately, so I thought it was fine to mention.”

“...”

You’re going to have an aneurysm. Why does every cover that Suo comes up with involve a marital relationship between the two of you?!

“Oh… holy shit.” Sakura’s expression is complicated—somehow, more complicated than yours, even though you��re the one getting cornered into a fake engagement. It's unbelievable how shy he still is about this kind of thing. Maybe it’s just particularly embarrassing since he's known you two for so long, you reason. Regardless, he remembers his social cues enough to say, “Congrats, guys. That's great. That's really great.”

Suo gazes fondly at you across the table. “We were thinking you could be our best man,” he adds, and you consider violently kicking his leg.

“O-oh. Uh, yeah! Sure! But what about Nirei?”

“Rather than having a maid of honour,” you say reflexively, used to lying through your teeth for Suo, “we’d like him to be our best man as well.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Thrown off guard, Sakura completely forgets about the love hotel business. He whips out his phone. “When were you thinking of having your wedding? I'll put it in my calendar.”

“I’m not sure.” Suo turns to you. “What were we thinking again, dear?”

You're going to die. You're going to die and it's a good thing because if you survive this embarrassment, your future will be bleak. As soon as Nirei finds out about this, he’ll want to start helping you with wedding planning, and then it would just be too awkward to cancel things. You’ll have to enter a fake marriage with Suo, which will be completely sexless, because even with a vow of everlasting love, there are still too many concrete and materially consequential reasons for not sleeping with him.

Condemning yourself to a lifetime of sexual frustration, you reply, “I think we were talking about a summer wedding.”

The drive home is awkward.

Hanzo and Shuuhei pick the two of you up. Suo mentioned that he wanted to talk to you and you alone, so they bring the Rolls Royce with the privacy suite. The two of them are entirely cut off from you thanks to the soundproofing, which traps you with Suo, who’s drinking a bottle of oolong tea as the two of you sit in complete silence. You think he's waiting for you to squirm—which you do.

You stay like that for five, agonising minutes before Suo finally says, “So you're sleeping with your customers.”

You swallow. “Yes.”

“For business?”

“Yes.”

“How much do you make?”

You blink. “Huh?”

“How much do you get paid for a single night of work, including gifts that your customers give you in exchange for sleeping with them?”

You're halfway through citing your earnings when you realise where he's going with this.

“So you make less than you did at Red Dragon,” Suo concludes, “and you're very smart with your money, so I know you know that, and you probably went into this knowing that you'd end up at a net loss.” He turns to you, gives you a look so sharp that it almost scares you. All made worse by his civilian disguise, which makes him feel unfamiliar. His glass eye shines strangely in the light, and his scar tissue is hidden by the makeup you helped apply. You wish he'd taken it all off before having this conversation.

“So,” he says, “what’s the real reason you changed jobs?”

Already knowing that he’ll figure you out sooner or later, you admit, “I just wanted to start having sex again.”

Suo blinks. “You… what?”

“I wanted to have sex with people,” you repeat. “I hadn't been touched for nearly two years, okay? I needed to get laid or else I'd go insane.” You cross your arms and look away, suddenly feeling petulant. “I'm sure you've noticed that our arrangement makes it impossible for me to see people.”

He doesn't answer, because of course he's noticed. He’d designed his house rules with precisely this intent. If he accompanies you everywhere you go, then you can't exactly go on dates, and you definitely can't meet people for sex. Not unless you feel like having Suo watch as some anonymous guy fucks you, and you don't. As hot as the idea is, it’s definitely not platonic behaviour, and it would probably trigger the whole homicidal obsession thing.

“Do you like it?” Suo asks, startling you. You look at him, confused.

“What?”

“Do you enjoy having sex with your customers?” he asks. His voice and gaze are even. Unrelenting. “Does it make you happy?”

You stare at him, a deer caught in headlights. You didn't expect Suo to actually care about whether you enjoyed it or not, and you didn't really expect to care yourself either. But truthfully, you hated it. You simply weren't feeling it with most of your customers and avoided intercourse with all but one. Then in that one case you let someone earnestly fuck you, it was a complete letdown. Possibly the worst sex you'd ever had. You spent the whole time watching the clock, wondering how long it would take, and it turned out that your hookup had remarkable stamina but absolutely no technique. To pass the time, and in an attempt to feel something, you tried to imagine it was someone else who was inside you. You cycled through a whole list of people, including all of your exes, a few of your past customers, every single member of BTS, and then—finally, inevitably—your long-time friend, roommate, and landlord.

To your complete horror, when you imagined that it was Suo who had you folded in half, his cock so deep inside you that you could feel it in your throat, you came so hard that you drenched the sheets.

You lay there afterward as your customer showered, alone in the bed. Normally you'd be getting dressed at that point, but you were too distracted. You kept thinking about what it would feel like to be held by Suo after having your guts rearranged by him—embraced tenderly like you know he would do with you, kissing him platonically like you've always wanted to do with him—and you realised that you didn’t actually want to have sex with anyone else. Despite all your life experience, sexual experience, and job experience—in that moment, you felt like a lonely nineteen year old girl who wanted nothing more than to have romantic, vanilla sex with her best friend, but who was instead having impersonal, disappointing sex with various salarymen.

This was a feeling so disgusting that you’ve decided to never tell anyone at any cost.

“Yeah, it's fine. I guess I like it.” You pretend to study your nails. “Sometimes I cum, which is all I really want.”

Suo keeps staring at you. “That’s it?” he asks, voice measured and careful. You raise a brow, playing dumb.

“What do you mean?”

“That's all you want? Just to get off?”

You gaze out the window, trying not to look at his lips.

“Yes, that's all.”

No matter how batshit Suo gets, he always maintains a certain kindness and maturity in how he handles conflict with you. It's a lesson that he learned from his master, which has perhaps been distorted over time, but remains important to him nevertheless.

If you do something upsetting, Suo is never forceful about getting you to act differently. Sure, he has fucked up ways of either getting you to behave or making you understand the consequences of your actions, and perhaps he has his manipulative moments. It was probably not a good thing that he coaxed you into indefinite house arrest, for instance. But he never threatens you, and he never hits you, and he never disrespects you. In fact, more than anything, he makes it a point to never let you feel like you aren't loved.

So when Suo abandons you after that conversation in the Rolls Royce, you lose your fucking mind.

Suo doesn’t come home in the days following that evening, without any note nor explanation. For the first time in years, he stops replying to your texts. Your immediate thought is that he's been gravely injured or perhaps even killed, which sends you into a panicked spiral. But every one of his men who's come by to check on you has implied otherwise—but I'm not allowed to tell you anything else, anesan, I’m sorry, they all say. And when you realise that Suo is actually fine and he's just playing a fucked up mind game with you, one that makes you feel distinctly unloved, you feel simultaneously heartbroken and apoplectic. The man is not allowed to corner you into de facto imprisonment and then just fucking leave. In fact, if he tries, you might imprison him.

You spend a few days sitting at home and crying over this, as well as torturing yourself by thinking about useless things (fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, et cetera). But eventually, you get tired of wallowing in self-inflicted misery, and you decide to just track your fake husband down. His men have been adamant about not letting you out of their sight—presumably so you don’t fuck any more of your customers, because Suo can be spiteful like that—so you have to be strategic about your plan to find him.

You decide to do it during work. You tap out in the middle of a shift, feigning illness, so nobody bats an eye when you put on the most shapeless hoodie you own and throw on a face mask. Your chauffeurs (handlers) don't notice as you sneak off—and for the first time in years, you walk through the red light district all alone.

It feels strange not to be protected, and even stranger not to be surveilled. You marvel at the unfamiliar experience of complete freedom, and at the possibility of being able to run off and disappear if you so wished. But you don't, of course. Not only do you care too deeply for Suo to abandon him, you're also pretty sure he has your driver’s licence and ID card locked up somewhere. At least you haven't been able to find them, and Suo was oddly evasive about it when you asked. (I haven't seen them, he'd said, but I don't think you’d need either of those things immediately, anyway, do you? And you nodded in response, because it was true that you liked being his passenger princess too much to care about your licence.)

So rather than bolting for the subway, you head straight to your old workplace. The gleaming doors of Red Dragon welcome you as you cross its threshold, and you're greeted immediately by the scent of luxury colognes and expensive cigars—both evoking a strange nostalgia in you. Even the click of your heels against the marble floor feels familiar. You realise that you've missed the place despite its cutthroat culture and its owner’s authoritarian control over you, which you suppose isn't surprising. This club was more or less your home for years and, thanks to said owner, was the safest place you've ever worked.

And being that you feel you've returned to your very safe home, you don't expect it when you're abruptly stopped by the bouncer.

“Can I help you?” he asks, his arm in your way. You don't recognize him, but you see the edges of his irezumi peeking out from the rolled-up cuffs of his shirt.

“Yeah, actually,” you say. “I'm looking for Gui Yanzhao. Is he here right now?”

The bouncer—or chinpira, you guess—bristles.

“You're looking for who?”

“Yanzhao?” you say impatiently. “Eyepatch, tassel earrings? Owner of the club? Probably your boss?”

The bouncer steps forward and reaches for something in his pocket, which makes you suddenly nervous, and also makes you realise that in a hoodie and a face mask, you ordinarily wouldn't be allowed in this club, let alone into the room of its yakuza owner. You're so used to VIP treatment here that you simply forgot.

You take a step back. “Um. I think there's been a misunderstanding.” You lower your face mask, which doesn't help as you've never met this man, and he must be new. You’ll need to complain to Suo about his onboarding process later, if you aren't killed before you can find him.

It turns out that this yakuza rookie has a knife in his pocket, which is not the worst thing he could have been carrying, but is also not the best. You're getting ready to run in the other direction when a more senior member of the gang comes by. He gives you a startled look, which then turns alarmed when he sees his younger brother’s knife.

“Anesan!” he yells hurriedly, and he snatches the chinpira’s knife straight from his hand. His lunge for the weapon turns into a hurried bow. He pulls his colleague—whose face has turned very white in a very short amount of time—into an even deeper one. They look on the verge of prostrating.

“Oh, Yamashita. Hi! Is this guy new?”

“Yes! My sincerest apologies for my younger brother’s idiocy, and his insolence in raising a weapon at you.” There's a sheen of sweat on the back of his neck. “If you would like him to atone, then he would be more than happy to—”

“No, that's fine. I'd really like him to keep all his fingers.” If you have to see a rookie cut off his pinkie today, you think you might actually change your mind on running away. Fuck your documents—Suo can keep them. Surely life without proof of identity can't be that hard. “By the way,” you say, trying to change the topic before Yamashita can suggest alternative acts of atonement, “have you seen my husband?”

Yamashita hesitates at your question, looks conflicted. You feel a little bad for him, and for every other gang member who needs to worry about accidentally offending Suo. You watch him sweat for a full ten seconds before he says, “You can follow me. But anesan, you might find it unpleasant upstairs. I can find someone to drive you home instead, if you'd like.”

You give him a funny look. This was your workplace for a very long time—you can’t think of many things that would happen here that might seriously upset you. “What, is he cheating on me?” you guess.

“What? No! Aniki would never!” Yamashita seems genuinely shocked at the suggestion. “He's crazy about you!”

“Then I'm sure he’ll be happy to see me,” you say, although given that he's ignored your texts for four days straight, you aren't so sure. Regardless, this seems to be good enough reasoning for Yamashita, and you’re taken to the top floor of Red Dragon. You ponder the whole time, on the elevator ride up, just what exactly Suo’s been up to that's made Yamashita this nervous about letting you see him.

Then the door opens, and you’re given your answer in the form of several body bags—all cleanly zipped up and conscientiously laid out in front of the elevators in a single, neat row. A sight that is significantly worse than a rookie cutting off his pinkie finger.

“Oh,” you say faintly. You try not to throw up. “So this is why he hasn't been home.”

“Exactly!” Yamashita replies, beaming. “See, anesan, I told you. He'd never cheat on you!”

Suo is in the lounge of the top floor, which has been cleared of both civilians and corpses for the night. He's sitting on one of the couches, leaning back with his one eye closed, as if asleep. The golden tassels of his earrings are draped over the expensive leather of his seat, intertwined with his dark hair. A cup of tea sits in front of him, steaming. Even this far away, you recognize it by the scent alone: jasmine, probably from Longjing. One of the most expensive blends he has, and that which he saves for days he’s stressed, though he never admits it when he is.

The sight of him would almost look tranquil, except for all the blood on his knuckles and his cuffs.

Off to the side, two of his younger brothers are chatting away. One is pouring cups of some doubtlessly expensive liquor, and the other is smoking a cigar. There's karaage on the table too. You recognize all of this as part of a ritual that some of the guys like to do after a hit or a shootout, not dissimilar to getting ramen or McDonald’s after going to a club.

You catch a bit of their conversation as you approach. One of them holds up the liquor bottle (Isojiman sake, you now recognise from your girls’ bar days, one of the rarer bottles costing around nine million yen) and asks Suo if he wants to join. “No thanks,” he says predictably, “I'm on a diet.” Then he turns and looks right at you—startling you, because you had thought you were being fairly quiet—and gives you a smile so genuine that it reminds you of his Furin days. “Would my beautiful wife like to drink for me, though?”

“No thanks,” you reply, “but your beautiful wife would like to talk to you.”

The two guys clear out to give you some privacy. You’re left alone with Suo, feeling awkward after several days of resenting him for no reason. (You’d rather die than go to therapy, but the whole fear of abandonment thing is probably something you should start addressing.) You don't even know where you want to sit. Eventually, you settle for placing yourself next to him, which is a decision that Suo quickly overturns by pulling you into his lap.

A flutter erupts in your stomach as he settles you on top of him. This physiological reaction is absurd, as not even ten minutes ago, you were trying not to throw up at the line of corpses in front of the elevator. It should also scare you somewhat that Suo’s hands—delicately adjusting your body—are still covered in blood. But truthfully, you can't help but be happy when he makes you feel so loved.

You take one of the napkins on the table and start wiping at his knuckles. Tenderly, in case they're bruised or skinned.

“You didn't call or come home,” you start.

“I thought it would be too dangerous.”

You frown, thinking of all the bodies outside. “Was this a rival organisation?”

“No. They were ours.” He sighs. “A succession conflict. There are a few people who don't like how I'll run things if I take over.”

You nod. Suo is very old-fashioned in his ideals about the yakuza, which you think is an imprint of his master’s influence, and something that appeals to his current ‘father’. He values chivalry. He likes protecting the weak. His filial devotion to his deceased master has now extended to every member of his yakuza family, especially his oyassan. He’s almost certainly the top candidate for taking over after the oyabun dies, but being that part of his old-fashioned principles excludes lucrative projects such as sex trafficking, you suppose it’s natural that some people in his organisation would prefer him dead rather than in charge.

“You’ve never ghosted me during violent conflicts before though,” you say. “I was worried that something happened to you. Or that you were upset with me.”

Suo’s hand drops to your waist, pulling you a little closer.

“They knew where we live. They tried to get to you, you know.” Your eyes widen in alarm, so he cups your face with a palm. His thumb glides along your cheek, and your response is almost Pavlovian: your heart rate immediately slows at the comfort of his touch. “It’s fine. They won't bother you ever again.” The cheerful smile returns. “And if anyone else ever does, I'll handle them too.”

Your heart swells. Enthusiastic pledges of murder are not a healthy sign of affection, but after so much loneliness—whether from the past several days, or the years before that, you aren't sure—you can't find it in yourself to be disturbed. You feel and sound painfully fond when you reply, “I know.”

Suo’s expression dims a little then. “I thought you'd like the space anyway.”

“What?” You give him a confused look. You have never once given him any indication that you want even an inch of space from him. You'd crawl into his ribcage if you could. “Why would you think that?”

“I thought you felt suffocated. You left my club just so you could have sex with other people.” You blink, lingering on his wording. Other people. He continues before you can ask about it, sighing, “You didn't even ask me who I'd give permission to touch you. You just went ahead and decided on your own.”

“...”

You try not to look disturbed. Suo’s apparent wish to control your sexual decisions is news to you, and somehow more alarming than the murder pledge. And even worse—you immediately clench in response to his words. The thought of Suo dictating who does and doesn't get to touch your cunt is… well, your mind is heading in a distinctly non-platonic direction.

Trying to ignore the heat in between your thighs (but at the same time encouraging it), you ask: “Who would you have been, um, okay with touching me?”

“Sakura or Nirei,” he says immediately. “Though only Sakura would be interested.”

“What.” You gape at him, all arousal forgotten. “Bullshit. He would never.”

“Yes, he would.” Suo tilts his head. “Haven't you noticed?”

“I don't think there's anything to notice? And also—he’s so shy, I don't think he'd ever agree even if he were interested!” You give him a bewildered look. “He couldn't even look at us when we said we were getting married, he was so embarrassed!”

“Embarrassed?” Suo stares at you, an amused glint in his eye. “Is that what you thought was going on?”

“Was there anything else?”

He studies you for a moment, clearly entertained but not explaining why. “Well—it’s fine,” he says. “It doesn't matter for now. Especially since he's helping us plan a wedding and all.”

You make a face. “I still can't believe that's the cover you went for.”

“Are you upset with it?” he asks smoothly, and you huff and say yes, but from his sly look, you think he knows it's a lie.

Naturally, you deflect before he can further interrogate you. “So, given that you are now my fiancé, am I no longer allowed to work on Keisei Street and see customers after my shifts?”

You don’t expect it when Suo says, “No, you can.”

You stare. “What?”

“You can keep seeing customers if you'd like. You said it makes you happy, so why would I stop you?” Suo’s brow furrows, his usual calm replaced with concern. “Do you really think I do the things I do to make you miserable?”

Guilt gnaws at your heart. He looks so disappointed. “No,” you tell him. “I just thought it'd make you miserable that I was sleeping with people without your permission.” It is partly why you hid it from him in the first place, after all. You don't like to see him sad—you’re still haunted by the deep grief he was in, after your master died—and also, his misery tends to bring bodily harm to other people these days.

Cognizant of both concerns, you ask, “You’re really okay with me sleeping with my customers? I can stop, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I still don't like it, but you can continue for now if you want.”

Suo’s mouth curls—not in a gentle way, as has been his expression since seeing you walk in, but in a way that sets off your flight or fight response.

“I'm sure we’ll reach a mutual understanding soon enough.”

END PART 1

thank you genuinely if you read all that because this is a deranged au and I still can't believe I wrote it sldfkjsldfkj. please do let me know if you enjoyed my yandere suo delusions. sorry there was no smut in this chapter. I promise there is a ton in the next one (probably too much... lol. it's a 10k chapter and literally half of those words are about orgasm denial sldfkjalskdjdf). it's completely written and I hope to edit and have it up by next week!

also here is glossary of terms and world building notes if you are interested!

tagging @kweenkatsuki-fics !! <3

[txttletale]

hey not trying to be a shithead but genuinely curious; and not saying it isnt, but what makes honest hearts like super racist? because, okay its been a while but i dont remember it being *that* bad?

am i missing something? (probably)

well, essentially, the whole dlc hinges its plot on its idea of 'tribal' society vs. 'civilized' society. this is like... a distinction with origins in 19th century scientific racism used to argue that indigenous peoples were 'primitive' and 'backwards', a lesser form of life compared to the more developed 'civilized' people. and this is a distinction that is everywhere in all the fallout games, including new vegas (i think it's super fucking racist that the white gloves practice of cannibalism is constantly narratively linked to their 'tribal origins' and described in the terms of a regression or degeneration)--but honest hearts is about it and so it's really inescapable.

joshua sawyer can say whatever he likes about multi-ethnic diverse groups or whatever but the tribes in honest hearts are very clearly inspired by racist stereotypes about native americans--they are naive, gullible morons (follows-chalk can't understand the concept of a casino) at worst and noble savages with (textually) biblical innocence at best. their names, their art, their societies--all just a white guy's idea of "vaguely native american" without any research or care.

and imo worst of all (and this is something im aware the devs have properly acknowledged) they have absolutely no agency--your role in the dlc is to be a "civilized" outsider who tells them which of two white "civilized" mormons to listen to. none of the 'tribals' are able to make their own decisions or lead themselves--they need a mormon missionary to tell them what to do! there is no way to resolve the dlc without picking which white mormon missionary they should listen to other than just murdering everyone indiscriminately.

and, like--i am aware that honest hearts thinks it is gesturing towards a critique of these ideas. you can criticize the paternalism daniel shows towards the sorrows, and the dlc clearly intended it to be criticized--but that criticism is weak and hollow when the only way to follow up on it is to put a different white mormon in charge. it is the most archetypal white saviour narrative possible--and yes, i also know daniel was 'supposed to be asian', but that doesn't change anything because he is in fact, as the "civilized" missionary preaching paternalistically to the "primitive tribals", fundamentally white-coded

so i mean yea it's racist because it relies on racist stereotypes about native americans, mandates that a white person come and take charge of these poor stupid 'tribes'--but even if you changed all that, it's fundamentally about an idea of 'civilization vs. tribal society' that it accepts as a true and meaningful distinction as its core premise, and that is just a straight up racist premise.

(and the reason i keep bringing up that both daniel and josh are mormons is that mormons have a long and storied history of brutal violence and colonialism against indigenous peoples, from their original violent settlement of utah to their 'indian placement program' to their deeply racist scripture, which makes their portrayal as benevolent white saviours particularly galling and repulsive)

[dilfl0v3rss]

take it

summary: aran breaking your bad habit

cw: smutttt

word count: 1.8k

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

it was a calm saturday night. you and aran were chilling on the couch in your own little worlds. the tv flashing constantly with different images as he played call of duty. face deep in concentration as he and who you assumed to be osamu and atsumu all spoke to each other through his mic. “you keep saying ‘push push’ but when we push we fucking die nigga. we not listening t’you no more tsumu.”

you were paying him no mind, leaning on the armrest as you sat with your feet facing him. phone in hand while tiktok videos played out loud in the living room. while you were scrolling, your attention was moved to a notification on the top of your screen.

emoni💋

twitter.com

look at this shit LMFAOOO

a smile crept to your face as you watched the video your friend sent you, trying your best not to bust out laughing in the middle of the living room.

me

LMFAOOO that’s definitely what she said😭

you continued to scroll through your twitter feed, watching and reading the comments on different posts, eventually getting bored. you thought to yourself “might as well add more to my collection” before making the stupid decision of going into your bookmarks.

your pussy thumped repeatedly in your shorts as you continued to torture yourself with watching video after video on some random homemade porn account. videos of this woman getting her shit tore up left and right. letting her lover do whatever it was that he desired while on camera. in a way it reminded you of how aran would do you. when’s the last time y’all had sex anyway?

your phone was discarded on the armrest as you began to crawl your way to aran’s side of the couch. it was normal that you’d want to cuddle during times like these so he had no problem with you straddling his lap while he continued his game. “you tired?” he asked, but you ignored him. slowly grinding your soaked shorts onto his print. you kept your face in the crook of his neck to keep him from seeing how desperate you looked right now.

aran was just about finish playing his game anyways, mic muted as he laid his controller next to him. the game was still on the home screen since osamu wanted to take a break for some snacks and atsumu wanted to go roll up. aran’s large hands gripped your ass, rubbing and spreading it until he felt your pussy leaking through the shorts on his fingertips. you moved your hips faster to try to distract him, but he was quick. holding your hips still before whispering in your ear.

“easy baby. ian even do nun so why you so wet like this?” his deep voice rumbled through his chest as he awaited your reply. now where you going to really tell your boyfriend that you got horny from watching porn? absolutely not, so you lied. “jus love you so much” you whined, trying your best to get the slightest bit of friction as he continued to hold your hips. aran was very observant, sadly, and he could already tell you were watching porn just by how you kept rubbing your thighs together while looking through the videos on your phone.

you grabbing your earphones didn’t help either, obviously doing so because you didn’t want him to hear. the icing on the cake was your damn glasses. the reflection clear as day every time he glanced in your direction to check on you. he could see every position the man had his wife in. every slap he brought to her ass as well as every time you moved your thumb to add a video to your bookmarks. it was only a matter of time before you came to him so he can fix your little “problem”.

“i love you more, but why you lying t’me?” he lightly pulled your head back before leaning over to grab your phone from the armrest. your horny ass didn’t even turn it off, the video still playing over and over again as he brought the screen to your face. “horny lil thing” he mumbled before abruptly moving you off of him. while he started pulling his sweats down you got the memo to do the same. shorts discarded on the floor as you sat in nothing but his shirt. “this what you want right?” he groaned. large hand stroking his length to life. “y-yea”

“then take it.”

your body moved on its own, quickly straddling him again before lining him up with your entrance. pretty brown eyes slowly rolling back as you sunk down on top of him. inch by thick inch of his long dick rubbing fluently against your tight walls. “fuckk” you moaned as you bottomed out on him. aran watched each of your pretty face expressions, holding a light smirk as he waited for you to start bouncing. “cmon mama. this your dick”

you eagerly got started, bouncing your pretty ass up and down as you caressed the nape of his neck. aran picked up his controller, closing up the game before opening netflix and putting on a show. he knew eventually you’d get tired and ask for his help, but he had other things in mind tonight.

you weren’t a lazy lover, but it’s been brought to his attention that you’ve been a little spoiled lately. you never really did anything for long before you’re complaining bout how tired you were and how he needed to help you. whether it be riding him or throwing it back. aran was sick of this behavior since sometimes it’d be you coming to him begging for some dick then barely even working for it. just laying under him or letting him fuck you from the bottom. he wasn’t going to let that happen tonight though. if you wanted this dick he wasn’t going to just keep giving it to you how you wanted, you were going to have to take it on your own.

it was only about ten minutes into the show where your pace slowed down almost to a stop. hips grinding on him as you whined in his ear. “i-i can’t” “yea you can mama. you gon have to if you wanna cum cause ian helping” you moved your head from his neck, staring him in the eyes with a sad expression on your face. aran could tell you were asking “why?” without even having to hear you say it. “daddy’s tired, but you can do it on your own, right pretty? can make yourself feel good without my help”

you shook your head at this. aran knew your body like the back of his hand, dick always touching places in you that you didn’t even know where there. you knew how to ride him, but it was much different from when he would help you. and you’d get so tireddd. you didn’t have time for that, huffing as you replied to him. “s’not gonna be as good without your help. i cant-”

“sh sh sh. ion wanna hear nun. get that nut on your own.” he didn’t want to hear your excuse. hands lightly gripping and tapping your ass. you sighed, starting back up to a slow pace. ass clapping repeatedly on his thighs as he continued to watch the show as if you weren’t there.

after about ten minutes, your legs began to feel as if they were on fire, tears flooding your eyes as you cried over aran’s shoulder. “p-please baby, i can’t d-do it on my ownnn” your salty tears were wetting up the back of the couch as you were grinding your hips down in his dick. no more energy in your legs for you to keep bouncing. “please fuck me” voice small as your crying quieted down to just sniffles and hiccups. aran didn’t realize how much he’s spoiled you until now, but he didn’t care.

“keep bouncing ma” was all he said, brown eyes glued to the tv, paying you no mind as you started crying and whining again. “s’not fairrr.” you stopped your hips completely, seated on his dick fully as you gave him a defiant look. aran looked down at your petty action, smirking before sliding his hand to your neck. his palm pressed against your throat as he lightly began to squeeze it. the next thing you knew, your face was snatched closer to his, ear right by his mouth as he spoke deeply. “keep bouncing that ass on me princess. if you stop before i tell you to, we gon have a problem y’hear me?”

your pussy instantly began to soak on his dick. his words making butterflies go wild in your stomach as you felt him release your neck and place both of his palms back on your ass. caressing and skin before helping give you a few warmup bounces before letting you continue the action on your own. you kept your pace slow, trying to save energy so you didn’t tire yourself out quickly. he didn’t mind this, liking the feeling of your wet walls slowly gripping and moving against his dick. his tattooed hands rubbing all over your back and ass while he kept encouraging you to keep going.

“uhh huhh jus like that princess”

“see? s’not that hard is it?”

“making daddy feel so good right now”

the praises made things easier, ass bouncing a little harder as you quickened your pace. aran’s bored and uninterested act broken as you listened to him moan under you, hips stagnant as he let you take whatever you needed from him. you started moving your hips in circles as you kept bouncing, dick hitting your sweet spot as moans flew from your lips as well. “feel s-so good shittt” you moaned as your wetness began to trickle down his shaft. your were tired as hell, but you knew if you tried to stop you’d get in trouble. deciding to stay on his good side tonight and pushing yourself to bounce even harder.

aran’s head flew back, adams apple bared to you as he roughly bit his lip. just the sight of him made your pussy flutter, bringing you closer to your climax as you picked up your pace again. you bounced quickly, chasing your orgasm as aran’s grip on your ass tightened. “there you go ma. take what you need. love when you listen t’me” his words pushed you over the edge.

you gave him three more hard bounces before your pussy began leaking all over the cushion. body spasming as his dick was fully soaked. you breathed heavily, try to catch your breath over him before you moved to get off. his big rough palms stooped you. inked hands gripping tight on your thighs. “wha-”

“you not done yet pretty, help daddy cum next.”

[ch-4-eri]

Different — Abby Anderson.

Abby X female!reader.

Warnings: comphet, anger issues, owen jumpscare (sorry) shouting, arguing, angst.

Word count: 1.2k

This fic is lowkey trauma dumping, self projection as it’s finest but hey we’ve all been there, also excuse how short it is I’m still learning how to write all over again after leaving it for a hot minute, but please do enjoy this.

You miss her. You really do, you had no other idea as to what made you and Abby’s friendship seem like it was something you’d made in the back of your mind.

Which is stupid considering everything, you knew the source of the problem, how deep he rooted his claws into her, Owen fucking Moore.

He was a senior at some point before he met Abby at a game you both went to. Soon enough he graduated which meant you’d never see Abby after school and or even the entire day as they got together. It dragged on until you noticed how moody she got, more angry than usual and you always knew Abby had temper problems.

You’d see them right outside of school, and he’d just leave her there, and you couldn’t interfere at all— you thought Abby wouldn’t like that, wouldn’t accept help in such situations.. and you were rather drifting, you’d let her figure it out on her own.

You just wondered if she misses you as well? And was Owen really worth it? Forget friendship… Abby was doing horribly in almost everything she used to like to do, her quarterback duties? Yeah, she was often arguing with her team, constantly throwing tantrums after or before games when there’s crowds watching it and the scene’s too awkward. People leave earlier than usual and it’s always intense if the argument is before the game. Even argues with the cheerleaders and their choreography as it’s not something she can pick, only the cheer coach. Abby was disturbed in many aspects, and all you could do was blame Owen.

You also wondered if it’s also Owen or something else? Was he treating her right? You doubt it, putting in mind how much she seems so temper ridden towards everything.

It was a random night you so badly wanted to check up on her, maybe hang out with her like you used to, it was all so awkward and you had no idea how else to resolve such already fucked up friendship.

You pulled up to her door with your bike, the sound of her and Owen arguing was loud enough you could hear what they were arguing about, Abby’s voice too familiar to just get over.

As you made your way out of your bike and to the front door, it slammed open with a very angry Owen stomping out, making you glare at him as he matched your glare and walked away.

Your eyes rolled and walked inside, finding Abby leaning against the counter. Still heaving in anger as she saw you; not even saying anything as you closed the door he almost broke.

“What was that?” You first said, forget the i miss yous and the corny bullshit that used to be okay between you two.

“What was what?” Abby responded, her tone cold and just as pissed off as if she’s still talking to Owen.

“Why was he yelling at you? That’s not okay.” You added, crossing your arms, keeping your voice steady. You’re not here to fight, that was Abby. Your Abby.

Abby narrowed her eyes as she’s surprised to find you there, her disturbance erupts from many things and not being able to talk to you was one of them.

She knew she fucked up when she picked Owen over you, it wasn’t even a decision she made; she just woke up one day without you around, and just him there.

She didn’t like it.

She hated it in fact.

Abby knew Owen was not a soulmate.

But the realisation of losing you for him, that stung more, made her more angry and defensive.

She was too prideful to admit what she did was wrong, be with such a guy and then lose you slowly.

Every time she recalls how good you’d treat her over stuff Owen made her feel bad about it was a damn list she had in the back of her mind every time he said something she didn’t like in which you’d be so sweet about.

Like her working out habits and how she looks, you’d encourage her and ask to come with her to the gym, Owen would just make fun of her for not looking feminine enough.

You’d take care of her when she’s sick never leaving her side enough you’d also get sick and Abby would take care of you when she’s better, Owen would just ignore her texts all day because she’s too sick in bed apparently and she’s ’too big of a girl’ she can ‘handle’ it on her own.

How you made her feel good about herself for having a ‘strong best friend’ and how proud you were of her, while Owen was too insecure to ever say something kind about it, insecure how a girl looks like she could ‘toss him away with a flick’.

The minute she had to compare the two of you, it made her feel more agony than she liked to admit even between her and herself.

As you stood in front of her after such a long time she still knew that she should be sorry, hug you and act like nothing happened.

But she couldn’t; so much had happened, she knew she shouldn’t have let you go, not for Owen or anyone because knowing he was not her soulmate, you were.

You were just right, Abby was always so certain of that, no matter who she lost or who she had, you’d be there and she let go of that like it’s nothing and she can’t mend that now, she felt too unworthy of your friendship.

It can’t be fixed.

“So what? I was yelling at him too, stop with that feminist bullshit.” Abby cursed, rolling her eyes at your defence, she loved you for it; she needed it, but she had to push you away for how wrong she did you.

“It’s not feminist bullshit, Abby, he's treating you like dirt!” You argued, showing her what’s right in hopes she’d see it.

“It’s none of your business! You don’t even have a boyfriend, you don’t get it!”

“Oh low blow! The whole ‘I don’t have a boyfriend’ bullshit just so you don’t admit he sucks and he doesn’t treat you well and he’s too fucking old for you, I don’t know what the fuck is going on Abby but this isn’t you! Hanging out with jerks like him, we used to make fun of guys like him!” You argued, eyebrows furrowed that made Abby wanna go on her knees for your forgiveness, you were right.

She wanted to cry about how wrong she’d been, she wants you back, she wants to just end this and apologise but she did you too wrong to act like this is okay.

“Shut up, get out of here!” Was all Abby managed, she wanted to save you for any more insults that could leave her mouth right at this second, there’s so much she needed to fix but you had to leave right now.

You blinked a few times at her request, Abby never raised her voice at you and maybe she didn’t mean it, but it hurt so much, she could see it as well.

“Don’t come crying to me when he’s left you, and let’s be real he will. And he will find a girl his age or maybe a girl that wears stupid bow ties in her hair because let’s face it he’s a fucking weirdo and you fell for it.” You said as a tear sheds down your cheek. “He wants to change you, and he can’t, I don’t even recognize you anymore… you won’t find me there when he does.” Was all you muttered before breaking down completely at the loss you just have to endure, leaving her house and leaving her there.

[thisisxli]

|| 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 ||

❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃

❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃　

Rs: Bakugou Katsuki x GN!reader (afab/amab)

Warnings:

slight heavy angst, neglecting boyfriend,

bad break-up.

Summary: you knew dating pro-hero Dynamite was gonna be tough but when you notice how distant he becomes, you can't help but wonder whether either of you chose the right decision to get together in the first place.

Wc: 0.7k

Suggested song: (P.S, if you're listening to the song recommended, please read a little slow at some parts if you want it to sync at the best parts (p′︵‵。))

*+:｡.｡　｡.｡:+*

It was one thing to know he was constantly busy and away with hero work. But to be deprived for his attention and have the first thing he did when he got home, ignore your entire presence and walk pass to sleep in your shared bedroom.

You know that Katsuki was working hard every day, fighting criminals, saving banks and civilians, etc. But you would've at least expected one kiss from your boyfriend when he got home. It tugged at your heart strings but you knew you had to let it go. You knew the priorities and the responsibilities he had and you couldn't put yourself above that. To pick you over the world is ridiculous.

By then, you slid into bed along with him but he wasn't facing your side of the bed. You didn't mind though, scooting close to him and running your hand in his hair. You slithered your arm around his waist before pulling your body close to his, savoring his warmth.

The next week's were honestly so painful. He would ignore you even when he was home. Every time you texted him or tried to call him at work, he would ignore you but respond when you were pissing him off.

One day, when he was home and finally spoke to you, he wanted to break up.

"Look-" he averts his gaze to the side, a solemn look on his face. "I just think we shouldn't be together. I'm caught up in work a lot so you shouldn't be with somebody that's barely around and.. I shouldn't be with somebody that...." He drifts off, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"What is it, Katsuki?" Your lip quivered but no tears formed in your eyes. You sure felt like crying.

"I shouldn't be with somebody that I don't feel something for anymore. I'm sorry. We're just barely around each other and.. I have other priorities. I don't think I should worry about needing to protect somebody close to me if they're ever caught up in danger."

This was the calmest Bakugou has ever been but yet, this was the angriest you've ever been with him. Was he calling you a damn burden?!

You felt like you shouldn't feel mad. But you did. How long did he feel like this? You were fucking stupid, you should've known from the start. You were both at fault. You should've known what you two were getting into.

You held your head low, jaw clenched tightly. You knew tears were forming when your vision started to become blurry.

"I.. really am sorry." You look at him through your lashes. Although it was blurry, you could tell his face only shown little remorse. You scoff at his half-ass apology, sniffling as you wipe your eyes with your sleeve before any tears escape. "Whatever. Just go, Bakugou."

He nearly winces at the use of his surname. He couldn't even be mad or make a remark at your petty attitude because he couldn't blame you. He's seen the way you looked at him at the times he came home, the way your touch was so yearnful and clinging. Of course, he loved you and wanted to be there for you, but he just didn't love you that way anymore. And he felt terrible about it. About as terrible as his old bullying toward his rival best friend back when they were in middle school. Luckily, instead of him staying, he let you stay in the house. He felt bad. And you hated it.

He had his things packed at the front door, slipping his shoes on. "Hey..."

You were hugging your arms, thumbs rubbing them and trying to soothe your nerves. You warily look up at the ash blonde man, biting your lip. You nearly cry out when he holds his arms out to you. Even in this moment, he was showing his soft side. Holding his arms out was like his signature move throughout your relationship. Your heart urged you to go and envelop yourself in his arms but then again, your heart also said not to. He hurt you, so bad. He hurt your ego and your heart.

When you stood in your place, bottom lip quivering, he sighs. Grabbing his suitcases and opening the door, he looks back at the place and you one last time. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out and that's right when you look up at him with teary eyes that pangs him in the heart.

He sucks in a breath, slightly frowning. "Do you.. Do you think we're together in another universe?"

You dryly laugh, tears escaping your eyes.

"We're not even together in this one."

*+:｡.｡　｡.｡:+*

A/N:

Honestly wrote this because I wanted to and I love writing angst. Was gonna make Bakugou a huge red flag but we all know that he's changed and that he's developed<3 after the latest chapters, there's no way he hasn't changed

Had to use the "do u think we're together in another universe" blablabla trope, it completed it ᰔᩚ

[ofallthingsnasty]

tw: workplace harassment, mental illness, gn reader, make sure to read the last paragraph as well characters: Crocodile, Doflamingo word count: 1k

While I may be suffering from "I'm a total newbie and scared shitless of my boss" disease + an anxiety disorder, this would be so perfect for either Crocodile and Doflamingo.

Just think about it… You just started working for one of them - and both men certainly demand respect, can be quite scary when provoked, but you think you can weather any storm that might be coming your way. You’re grown, you’ve got bills to pay, they’ve been professional enough so far, it won’t be too bad, right? Oh, stupid, stupid you - because they can smell your little authority figure issues ten miles upwind.

Both notice that you're green, easily impressed and hurried by their presence, notice how sweaty your hands and furrowed your brow gets - and both definitely corner you; try to get you into a frenzied state, right into panic mode just because it’s fun to see how you slowly fly off the hinges. They both toy with you in their own ways - Crocodile is just always standing behind you, silently watching, only the smell of smoke and his cologne telling you he's right there, looming over your shoulder. He enjoys the way your hands shake with whatever it is you’re doing, how you cough and shift around while he does absolutely nothing. His mere presence makes you so antsy he doesn't even have to say something and his silence is easily interpreted as criticism and mistrust by your anxious little brain. It only gets worse when he never talks about his little staring/surveillance sessions, never explains why he randomly shows up at your desk or workstation, never asks you for a word afterwards - you always feel like you’re not good enough, that no matter how long you’ve been by his side, he needs to check up on you. He’s an imposing man, too - so much bulk and smoke, just the thought of him asking you for a vis-a-vis keeps you up at night. And every day, every week spent fretting over him and his perception of you (coupled with the fact that you really, really need this job) makes you more and more insecure, makes it hard to unwind after yet another long day, makes you overanalyze every single glance, every word and move of his. He slowly creeps into your after-hours, your conversations with friends, your weekends, even your vacations.  And he can tell. Crocodile notices the slight, subtle changes. The way you smooth over your clothes before talking to him, how you place an index and middle finger over sternum as if to shield yourself from him, the fucking cold sweat shining on your forehead whenever he does question a decision of yours with a gruff bark. The way you avoid his eyes, stumble over your own feet in a hurry, the way he can see that you sleep worse and worse - that’s how he knows he's got you hooked, fully and wholly. That all you're thinking about is him and work and pleasing him and being good at work and again, him and work and him and- Your job is the only thing in your life now, from the moment you wake up to the time you lay your head down to sleep, everything is consumed by thoughts of him and his opinions about you and your abilities, always aiming to please and so, so nervous to fail. It’s perfect.

Doflamingo is way more vocal about it. He'll throw your work right back into your face, all sneers and acid tongue. It’s just not enough, never enough, reflects badly on him, on his company - whatever it is you do, it hails nothing but criticism and mockery and late nights to fix your stupid mistakes. He doesn’t even give you moments of rest, he just constantly picks on you until you’re seriously considering just resigning for your own mental health. He’s methodically destroying your self-esteem, makes you doubt your own abilities - you know you shouldn’t let him creep into your head as much as he does, but when all you hear is that you’re so fucking bad at your job, how much you suck - it sticks. You’re so stressed because of him you almost have a panic attack over putting your two weeks in and despite your suffering, you keep procrastinating, keep telling yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, when you have had a full night’s sleep. Problem is - you never do. He can tell by the way you’re idling, fiddling with the straps of your bag whenever he comes in for the day that you’re trying to leave - but that you're simply too scared of his reaction to pull the trigger. And that right there; that fear, that pedestal you put him on is the perfect breeding ground for all sorts of unethical things he can push you to do for him. He starts out small; things like getting him coffee in the mornings when you never did that before, a too-warm, lingering hand on your shoulder, a comment about your outfit - every little thing is calculated, tailored to slowly destroy your boundaries while you fear him more and more, give him way more authority over your life than you should. He knows it’s psychological, that someone else might be able to flip him off and leave without ever thinking twice about him. But you… You have accepted him as the one part of your life everything hinges on - you give him all that power in your sick little brain. Oh, he’ll use it well. The fun has only just started, rest assured. 

And while Crocodile gets to click his tongue, scoff and tell you that he'll take over from now on because clearly - you're just not capable and you obviously need him (not only at work but also in your whole life, silly), Doflamingo taunts you and tells you to make yourself useful, then, if you can't even do your job right. Maybe sucking his dick is your true calling - come on, let's see if you can do at least one thing right. One man wants to take your life over completely, sees you as the malleable (perfect) mess that you are, with all the potential that comes with it - and the other just wants to fuck you up for the next decade of your life, wants to be reason you wake up in the middle of night because his vicious smile still bounces around in that head of yours

[daemonmage]

A Stupid Batfam AU

Jason’s and Bruce’s rocky relationship is actually a pr move to make sure the rest of the batfam doesn’t get attacked by reporters and gcpd.

Essentially Red Hood, while liked by the Crime Alley citizens and other citizens as well, has a pretty bad reputation with a lot of the rest of the city. The GCPD hate him for his overt violence and the head incident. The Media hates him cause he’s what they all feared Batman would become and are constantly creating news stories on him. A lot of the other citizens are just scared of him cause sometimes his temper gets out of control. It’s not the best reputation.

Bruce and Jason have long since talked and settled their differences. Well, it’s more of a “I don’t approve of your methods but I will acknowledge you as a person who wants to help, but I will still dislike the guns. Also I missed you” from Bruce and “I’m not happy with a lot of your decisions but I also understand why you came to those decisions. I’m still mad but I now know that you missed me and I missed you too” from Jason. They’re better than they were originally and honestly that’s all they could hope for. Jason visits the manor more and is having fun being brothers to Dick and Tim.

Here’s the thing though… his reputation as Red Hood may have accidentally spread to the other Bats. A few team ups here and there (and the red bat on his chest) have made everyone assume that Batman is now working with Red Hood, a known crime lord. The media and GCPD were on them like flies on shit. Jim tries to calm down the gcpd with mixed results, but he can’t stop the media from blowing this out of proportion. It’s like the news channels from Dark Knight Returns, but worse.

Jason, who just got his family back, is fucking pissed. Jason is also dramatic as hell. Bruce was willing to just deal with this, but Tim is too new at this to be caught in the crossfire. Bruce was just gonna bench him out of fear until things calm down (he’s dealt with this before) but Jason brings up his plan to Bruce. Bruce isn’t as dramatic as Jason, however he is still absolutely dramatic. He agrees. So begins an epic fight between two ideals that ends two vigilantes at each other’s throats constantly.

Red Hood and Batman fight any time they are together, Red Hood is arrested by Batman on multiple occasions, and Red Hood always escapes leaving terrifying threats spray painted where the bat can see. (Jason and Bruce give each others shit for the pot shots they take and Bruce compliments Jason’s form when he gets a good hit in, Bruce gives Jason a heads up to the easier ways to get out of a police car and Jason ignores him going for the most dramatic ways, Bruce complains that the code Jason uses for his threats are obvious and he can just ask Alfred himself for cookies, why does Bruce have to be the middle man.)

The super hero community doesn’t really know this (cause they can be pretty bad actors at times, says Bruce) tis can cause problems. Superman and Green Arrow capturing Red Hood. Batman had to pull the “he’s Gotham’s problem give him to me,” which led to a hour of arguing to get Jason back. Tim’s friend have Red Hood on their hit list for what Hood did to Robin (Tim is over it but he does use this as a way to get back at his brother when he pisses him off) and Red Hood has to be on the Villain List to sell the act, so every hero ever knows the Red Hood is a villain. This leads to chaos.

There are still rough moments where Bruce and Jason still fight, but it’s better. Jason gets to hang out and play games with Tim. He plans overly dramatic fights with Dick (with full plot cause these two are so extra.) He helps Alfred in the kitchen again talking about books they’ve both read. He and Bruce talk again, they talk about their fears and what they’ve missed. It’s better, and that’s all that really matters.

[suhkusa]

!! tw: anxiety attack

“Y/N?”

The voice pulls you out from your thoughts. It’s Coach Foster. You realize you haven’t paid attention to the past couple of points. 

You’re going to get in trouble.

You feel lightheaded as you grip tighter onto your pen, watching the match and continuing to jot down notes for the coach. You don’t know how many notes he’s expecting you to take. Don’t know if they’re supposed to be detailed, analytical, or just basic observations. You try to give a combination, but in turn scribble out a lot of the notes because they looked jumbled.

It’s the first time in a while that you’ve been this nervous. Usually you’re able to bury your anxiety and ignore it, but this time it’s actively affecting you. And it’s annoying.

Constantly checking your phone to see if Asu has replied to you is damaging your work ethic. It’s distracting. He said he’d be there ASAP, didn’t he? It’s just your luck that he isn’t here when you really needed it.

It’s getting warm. Hot, even. You’re not even layered up on clothes but you can feel your hands getting clammy around your clipboard and pen. 

You needed to get out of here. 

You’re anxious as you turn to the coach, even more so when you realize he and the co-coach are 100% locked into the game. It’s a practice match and you’re here trembling like a baby.

How embarrassing.

“Coach,” your voice doesn’t feel like your own, “Can- I mean may I go on lunch a little early, I feel lightheaded,”

His face scrunches up in worry, you made him worry.

“Yeah of course, be sure to drink water and let us know if you need anything,”

You just give him a curt nod before dropping your clipboard onto the benches and heading outside.

When you check the time you get scared, you couldn’t have waited 5 more minutes huh, Y/N? 

The cool breeze envelopes you as you step outside. Breaths you didn’t even know you were holding were coming out one after another. At first, they were normal and organized but then they suddenly became erratic and uncontrolled. Fuck, not now.

You collapse against a nearby bench as panic swallows you whole. You’re stupid, why are you even freaking out so bad? This is embarrassing, humiliating. You want to go home.

What even made you think this internship would be easy? They’re a D1 college volleyball team, did you really think it’d be fine and dandy? Another example of your dumb decisions getting you into a mess.

You’re not reliable at all.

Your vision is blurry with tears and you force your head down towards your lap immediately. God, just stop crying already.

You just love to make everyone worry about you, don’t you?

“Y/N,”

You jump at the voice, your breathing, tears and movements halting all at once. Fuck.

You’re swallowing back the lump in your throat, blinking away the tears and taking a deep breath before continuing, “Yeah?”

When you finally look up, fear washes over you as you’re basically face to face with Sakusa Kiyoomi.

So pitiful.

“Are you okay?”

You always hate when people ask that. Especially when you’re obviously not. It just makes you self conscious and think about why you were upset in the first place. 

Thankfully, the tears were slow as they fell, and while your breaths were still uncontrollable, they were definitely calmer.

His eyes widened and you’re nervous for what he’s about to say. He’ll probably just scold you again.

“Hey,” he’s squatting down to your level, “deep breaths, Y/N,”

Sakusa breathes deeply inwards then out, gesturing for you to follow his lead. You do.

Weirdly enough it helps.

“I noticed you were nervous earlier,” he noticed? Did others? “What happened?”

“I—” you don’t know. Not really, anyways. Sakusa notices your hesitance. 

“You don’t have to say if you’re uncomfortable,”

“Sorry, I’m just scared that- that I’m not good at this job. This internship plus my exams plus homework, it- it’s too much,” you take another deep breath, “You were right, I shouldn’t have signed up for this— I’m so stupi—”

“Don’t,” your eyes meet again, this time he looks so concerned, the authenticity scares you, “I didn’t mean what I said— I was an asshole, alright? You’re doing great, Coach was going over your notes before he released us for lunch and said they were so much more than he expected,” 

“Liar—”

“I’m serious,” Sakusa says, “and this is all new to you, of course it’ll be hard to balance but I know you’ll get used to it. It’s temporary, just remember that. Just a semester and you can go back to how it was,”

It’s scary how much his words reassure you. You didn’t even realize you had calmed down until now. 

“I’m sorry, that was embarrassing,” you laugh off the awkwardness, wiping at your eyes, “Sorry you had to see that,”

“Don’t apologize,” he stands up, attention still focused on you, “Why don’t you come inside? Everyone was wondering where you were,”

Taking one last deep breath, you stand up with a smile, “Alright, after you,”

SECRET ALLIANCE — BREATHE

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NOTES.

y/n has been staying up late without telling anyone to study

she had a job in her freshman year but quit within a month because it was too much

she knows she shouldn’t be, but she’s a bit upset at Asu

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Fall: I’ve been wondering, how did you get into writing? You seem like you’ve got such a strong grasp on it. It’s kind of intimidating, honestly. You are way too good with your words, especially compared to us, mere mortals.

Shen Yuan smirked as he typed out his reply, leaning back against his hospital bed.

Shizun: You flatterer! But honestly, I’ve spent way too much time hate-reading terrible webnovels and thought, ‘Well, I can’t do worse than this’. Writing fanfiction was kind of a last-ditch effort to keep my sanity after reading PIDW for so long. And…

He started to hit backspace but hit enter instead. Shit.

It took a minute for Fall to answer. Against his hopes, not without asking about that ‘and’.

Fall: “And…”?

Fall: But LOL. I should have known that nothing can beat spite. Not sure if you know - probably you do, since you love PIDW’s world so much -, but there's a commenter, Peerless_Cucumber, who is like that. The angrier he gets, the more eloquent he writes. Barring all the swearing, LOL.

Fall: Shit! Wait. No. Now that I think about it, please, don't check him out! If you two would collaborate, you could take over the world.

Shen Yuan couldn't decide whether to cry or laugh. It seemed, it was a good decision not using his Peerless_Cucumber acc, but it was quite strange to read about himself. Maybe he should tell Fall it was him.

Hahaha. No. Fuck, no.

Shizun: Hahaha, I know about him! Would it be strange if I'd say that I kinda use his long-ass comments/essays as bases for improvement? He is always so detailed with all the problems and issues, it is much better to use those instead of the fan Wiki.

Shizun: So… about the “and”.

Shizun: I used to be quite sickly when I was young. I spent a lot of time in the hospital, and I found out that reading and writing was a wonderful way to forget about the real world. Funnily enough, I'm actually at the hospital rn, turning towards writing once more.

It took a little longer for Fall to answer. Biting into his mouth, Shen Yuan hoped that it wasn't too personal too soon. Shen Yuan glanced at the IV drip beside him, the sterile smell of the hospital room filling his senses. It wasn't that bad.

It wasn't good either.

He wanted to go home. Home had his own bed. Home had his PIDW merch and his favorite pillow his er-ge forbid to bring him to the hospital.

Fall: Oh, shit. That sucks.

Fall: I get that. Reading (and maybe writing, but you may never know) is a safe space for me too. It helps to forget about all the problems in the world, to imagine you are somewhere else, in a better place. Also, I hope you are doing okay! I'm also in a similar situation, so high five bro! (Kinda managed to do something very, very stupid. Did you know that ramen is liquid and liquid does not go well with electricity?)

Fall: On a lighter note, I really think that you are good at writing. You should try to do original work if you want to - you are, like, natural at balancing world-building and character development. I'm kinda jealous, but I've learned a lot just from reading your fic.

Shen Yuan blinked at the screen. It was one thing for random commenters to leave praise, but for some reason, hearing it from Fall felt... different. He found himself smiling stupidly, warmth blooming in his chest. Fall was just so…

He was lovely.

A great “bro”, it seemed. Way to be bro zoned.

Shizun: First of all, don't you dare to

sell yourself short! Not on my watch! You’ve got some pretty good ideas yourself. I can tell from your comments you’ve got a solid grasp on storytelling. Second, what the fuck, Fall?? You okay???

There was a longer pause before Fall replied. Shen Yuan knew that logically, Fall had to be safe, since he could write - they had been communicating constantly for the last two weeks -, but that didn't make it less scary. To know that Fall could have…

To think that Shen Yuan could have died… if either of them died…

They could have never met. It was a strangely disturbing and upsetting thought.

Fall: I'm good, I'm good! Dw!

Fall: Okay, but consider this: I don't think anybody would be interested in what I'd write. What I would like to write about.

Shen Yuan only had one answer to that:

Shizun: I'd read that.

Fall didn't reply for a long time after that, but that was okay. Shen Yuan assumed he needed some time to think about it, and that was okay. He just hoped his friend would realize how much Shen Yuan thought the world of him. He believed in Fall, even if Fall didn't believe in himself.

Shen Yuan, after all, had experience in believing in authors with great potential, who lacked the spine to be themselves and write what they wanted, instead of what the majority of the people demanded.

-*-*-*-

Fall: I've been thinking a lot about SJ and the way you portrayed him handling the Immortal Alliance Conference. It was fascinating to see the parallels. Him killing WY, who murdered those kids to save YQY versus him throwing LBH into the Abyss, believing that he, as a demonic cultivator, also killed all those kids. It was such a great moment! Shocking, because I think we all thought he would not do it since your SQQ wasn't as brutal as Airplane's, but you executed it so well! Oh, I wish Airplanes would have done the same. So heartbreaking! While PIDW created a monster out of SQQ, you created a human.

Fall: I'm also wondering if you plan to make him struggle with that choice later. Like, will he regret it in hindsight?

Shen Yuan considered this, tapping his fingers against his laptop. Fall always asked questions that made him rethink his plans. Actually, he didn't really think that he did such a great job at drawing parallels between the two Conferences, so he planned to switch POVs and continue it from Luo Binghe's, but…

It was actually a great question. The readers already knew about Luo Binghe's experiences in the Abyss more-or-less. Shen Yuan planned to show how staying at a more stable peak affected his physique, but it could be fascinating to explore what happens to Shen Qingqiu meanwhile.

Maybe he could do both…

Maybe-

Shizun: You raised a good question. I think I'll have him grapple with the consequences, it could be interesting to see how things turn out in the mortal world.

Fall: I think you should do it. It would fit your world-building theme… You could make the story feel more real. Like, the world, the characters and their choices have weight, y’know?

Shen Yuan knew exactly what Fall meant.

Shizun: Yeah, you are absolutely right. It was definitely something PIDW was missing - characters suffering real consequences. Even if they did something, be it either bad or good, it didn't really matter, because they either died in the end, or…

Fall: or had sex?

Shen Yuan snorted, typing back quickly.

Shizun: I wanted to say kinky, yet utterly boring papapa, but yes.

Fall: Oh, don't mention it! If I never read the words ‘thrust’ and ‘dangling’ again, it’d be too soon!

Shizun: I hate you.

Shizun: I want to bleach my eyes. I hate those words! And all the euphemisms Airplane use. ‘Flowers’, I get. Even ‘heavenly pillar’ makes sense! But comparing breasts to cow's udders?!?! Sometimes I wonder about Airplane's sex ed background…

There was a longer pause after that. Only his nervous ticks revealed his anxiety over that pause. Was he too offensive? It was not his Peerless_Cuvumber acc, so maybe he shouldn't have been so critical over the papapa scenes? But that was the best part in his friendship with Fall! He felt free to be open, to be himself!

Before he could work up himself, a reply came.

Fall: Maybe he doesn't really like writing sex? Or specifically, hetero sex? Maybe he is…

Shen Yuan stared at the words.

Airplane, his favorite and most hated author might be similar to him?

Maybe.

But…

Shizun: Don't care. I'm gay, and I could write better hetero sex scenes if I wanted to! Sexual orientation is not a good reason to be so bad at something!

Only after he sent the message did he realize that he fucked up. Sure, he might have flirted sometimes as they were talking with each other, but only within the boundaries of a no-homo friendship. But now that he came out in the heat of the moment…

He didn't want to lose a friend.

Fall: Okay, but you are different. You dare to write what you love.

Shen Yuan only realized that he had been withholding his breath, when he could feel himself breathe normally. It was not an explicit acceptance-

But it wasn't a rejection either.

He would take it.

Deciding, he would not bring attention to his accidental came-out, he wrote:

Shizun: If you ever decide to write something, you can also write whatever you wish to. It will be great, I'm sure of it!

There was a break in the conversation, again. He hoped he didn't push hard, since he knew Fall had been pretty hesitant to talk about his own writing in the past, but he hoped his encouragement helped.

Fall: Maybe one day. If I get brave enough to write something worth reading, you’ll be the first to know!

Shen Yuan smiled at his phone, feeling the familiar warmth settle in his chest. He wasn't sure why, but the idea of Fall sharing his work with him first, felt like something worth waiting for. The guy had a way with words, it was obvious from his comments. He was insightful and had an eye for details. Shen Yuan knew that if he ever wrote something he really liked, it would be an instant hit.

-*-*-*-

As the time passed, the day of Shen Yuan’s discharge loomed closer and closer. Which, don't misunderstand him, he desperately waited for!

However…

He had to admit. He didn't really want to leave the Hospital Guy. Sure, he still didn't know much about the guy - not even his name, for fuck's sake! -, but he had grown attached.

Hospital Guy was funny and smart and weird and hilarious. Shen Yuan enjoyed spending time with him, their quiet moments in the garden. He liked talking with/to him about everything and nothing. Hospital Guy was attentive when he ranted about the series he binge-watched between two chapters of PIDW, and they also had the same taste in music! He liked seeing the guy relax, and he loved it even more that he, Shen Yuan, was the reason for his more relaxed state!

He just liked Hospital Guy, okay?! He was just adorable, both inside and out!

So, on the day of his discharge, Shen Yuan mustered the courage to do the one thing he had yet to do: visit the guy's room.

Hospital Guy was clicking wildly on his phone, but the moment he noticed Shen Yuan, he stopped, and focused all his attention on him.

“Hi,” Shen Yuan said, surprisingly shy.

“Hello, Stranger,” Hospital Guy grinned.

“I'm leaving today,” he blurted out. The grin was instantly gone from Hospital Guy's face, turning into an unreadable mask.

It was concerning.

“Oh,” was all he said.

Shen Yuan waited, hoping for something more. A request to stay in touch, disappointment for not continuing their daily walks, or at least a goodbye that felt more meaningful. He waited for something, anything-

But the guy just nodded, his gaze drifting away from Shen Yuan, as if with that, he had already forgotten about the friend he made in the hospital.

Maybe they weren't really friends. Maybe everything was only in Shen Yuan's head.

Maybe he had bothered Hospital Guy all along.

Disappointment surged through Shen Yuan. He’d thought, maybe, there was something there; a connection, a friendship, maybe even more! But the guy didn’t seem to care.

It was as if Shen Yuan didn't even exist anymore.

“Alright,” Shen Yuan said, his voice tight. He would not cry. He would not scream. He would not fight. He would not bother Hospital Guy ever again. “Take care of yourself.”

And with that, he left.

[mlmxreader]

Always | Dean Winchester x gn!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ "You're here." "You called. I'll always answer" with dean Winchester please ❞

: ̗̀➛ Dean is always there when you need him, he's just a call away - even though you know it's a stupid decision.

: ̗̀➛ swearing, smoking, Mamma Mia references

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

You weren’t sure why you did it in all honesty, as it seemed like a terrible idea before you had even pressed down, and now that it was done, you only felt like you had made an awful decision; you would only get hurt in the end and you were more than aware of that, but after staying up all night, maybe your judgement was just a bit more than clouded, and maybe making a stupidly awful decision was just part of that.

Just a small and insignificant part of that that made you feel utterly like shit.

You hoped that nothing would come of it in the end, but when the doorbell rang, you knew that you were fucked.

You gingerly answered, refusing to make eye contact as you ushered in your green eyed guest; he said nothing, trudging into the kitchen and allowing him to roll himself a cigarette before you even dared to follow him.

You didn’t expect him to say anything, not that you would even be able to hear it thanks to your heart beating so fucking loudly as if nothing else mattered; your hands and legs shaking, your stomach sunken beneath waves from which it would never return.

You swallowed thickly, shaking your head as you rolled yourself a cigarette and passed him your lighter; he looked at you, concern and worry evident in those beautiful green eyes, but he couldn’t think of the right words to say.

His Chevy Impala, his beloved car, was parked on the driveway and his keys were chucked on the shelf in the porch; it was as if he lived there, and he supposed, he very almost did. He spent enough time there, at least.

He scratched his jaw as he took a drag from his cigarette, sighing heavily and licking his lips; pretending that he didn’t care even though his eyes portrayed the actual truth. 

“You’re here.”

“You called. I’ll always answer,” he grumbled, raking a hand through his hair and humming softly. “I’m guessin’ this ain’t exactly a business call.”

You shook your head, sitting up on the counter next to him as you cleared your throat. “No.”

Dean nodded, refusing to say anything further as he picked up the sound he could hear so faintly; it was Meryl Streep singing on the television in the other room - it sounded like ABBA, but he couldn’t be completely sure.

He knew that film, he kept falling asleep every time it was on but only ever woke up when he heard you singing; he smiled a little thinking about it.

You liked bands like Slayer and Sabaton and Sodom and Slipknot, Rob Zombie and White Zombie, Lorna Shore - stuff even heavier than what he listened to; yet you would always sing along to that film, so happily and gleefully.

And of all things, it was fucking ABBA.

He nodded slowly along to the beat, thinking about all the times you had woken him up whilst you were singing it, and how he couldn’t help but to think that if he were constantly woken up by it, he would never have a bad morning again. 

He cleared his throat, hating the fact that it had come to such a thing. “Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong? I have never seen such sorrow in your eyes and the wedding is tomorrow. How I hate to see you like this, there is no way you can deny it. I can see that you're oh, so sad, so quiet, Chiquitita, tell me the truth - I'm a shoulder you can cry on, your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on…”

“Are you singing Mamma Mia to try and get me to talk?” You asked with a soft scoff, and when he nodded, looking rather bashful and embarrassed, you shrugged. “It’s nothing, really. Just a stupid decision to call you…” 

Dean swallowed thickly as he shrugged. “Maybe it was just as much a stupid decision to come, eh?”

“Probably,” you agreed. “I, erm, I got cash for the petrol if-”

“It’s fine,” he told you, shaking his head and holding his hand up. “I’ll stay.”

“Dean-”

“You called me,” he pointed out. “You begged for me to come here. I’ll stay, until tomorrow at least, I’ll stay.” 

“I can’t ask you to do that,” you said quietly. “You know I can’t.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not getting you to ask,” he huffed. “C’mon, I know you got that… I don’t even know if it’s a chick flick but I know you’re playing it so, erm, why don’t you go rewind it? We’ll watch it together.”

You nodded slowly, reaching for his hand and holding it tightly, your voice so quiet it was almost incoherent. “Thank you…”

“Anything for you,” he murmured. “I mean that. Anything for you, you, erm… you know, that guy in that ABBA thing? The one getting married?”

“Dean,” you huffed. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

“Oh, no!” He hastily replied, shaking his head and holding his hand up as the cigarette sat between his lips for a second. “No, no, no! I just… care about you a lot, y’know?”

“I get you,” you whispered, gulping and trying to ignore your breath giving you away. “I care, too, y’know, just don’t… don’t go sharing your devotion.”

He glared at you with a frown, knowing exactly where you got that from. “Shut up. What’ve I always said about chick flick moments?”

“Mamma Mia isn’t a chick flick, it’s a musical,” you pointed out with a slight smile. “There’s a difference.”

He smiled a little bit, huffing. “You’re lucky James Bond is in it.”

You finished your cigarette, tossing it in the ashtray and offering him your hand. “Come on, tough guy.”

He laced his fingers with yours, taking a quick look around before letting go and shaking his head. “I just gotta check some things. Salt the windows and doors, y’know. That’s all.”

“Please,” you frowned. “Be quick?”

“Always.”

[trickstarbrave]

Actually b4 I sleep:

I see in the bg3 arguments (carried over from ppl rules lawyering 5e too hard) that if a character wants to do something it is unethical or “gross” to use persuasion rolls to convince them out of it. Examples: that you should let Astarion ascend because he wants to, or let Shadowheart become a dark justiciar because “it’s all she’s ever wanted”

These arguments are stupid.

Normally I don’t go hard on the “this is a stupid argument” bc most of the time complex moral situations require nuance and you shouldn’t try and call ppl stupid for differing perspectives but. No this one is stupid.

Persuasion rolls are not magical mind control. They are literally using the force of charisma (whole other conversation but again it isn’t mind control) to talk about something to a character and have them see it from different perspectives. High rolls are not you overriding their will power or decision making—if they rly didn’t wanna, they wouldn’t do it. You can do this for objectively horrible end goals, but also good ones.

Not to gamify real life tragedies but IRL, talking someone down from a suicide attempt would be a charisma roll (I’ve been suicidal so I’m using this example). The person really “wants” to kill themselves—or at least, they really think they do. This isn’t a choice made in a vacuum. Ultimately people want to die when they think there is no way out of their problems be it bad mental health, abuse they’re constantly subjected to, insane amounts of debt they feel they’ll never be able to pay off, social isolation, grief, and so on. It can be a combination of factors, but really what they ACTUALLY want is a solution to the problems that are overwhelming them and making them feel like being alive is worse than being dead. Talking someone down from suicide is not a BAD thing to do. In fact it would be morally bad to go “well we have to let people do what they want. Go for it man here’s a loaded gun and some pills”. But you have to persuade them to help them. Because they’re in a really dark place and can’t see reason.

Shadowheart was raised in a cult. She doesn’t actually want to be a dark justiciar, she wants to feel accomplished and like she belongs. She has been punished, isolated, and hurt her whole childhood and had her suffering justified by those in power above her. She’s been abused and told being a dark justiciar is the best thing a sharran can be. That it is the height of Shar worship. And that Shar took her in and “loved” her when “no one else wanted her”. Her ideals and goals are built upon lies and abuse. You, as an outsider, can give her that perspective and tell her that no matter how hard it gets she is worthy of love and can uncover the lies used to cover up and erase her past. She is just so narrowed in on what she thinks is “right” based on what she’s grown up with that she is not thinking for herself, she’s falling back on cult doctrine to think for her.

Astarion “wants” to ascend because he wants to feel like no one can ever hurt him again. He wants to spite Cazador. He wants to feel safe. And not worry about burning in the sun too. But are those things worth your actual fucking soul and your ability to love and connect with other people? No. Astarion doesn’t actually want the power, he doesn’t actually want to rule the world, and this power will not actually keep him safe. He has mistaken power for freedom because of 200 years of abuse and also was almost killed via human sacrifice like a minute prior (turns in dnd are only 6 seconds). He isn’t exactly thinking rationally give he’s been free for a week and nearly died a few seconds prior. He’s running on base instincts. He’s leaning into the lies Cazador has drilled into his head: the weak suffer because they are weak and the only way to be safe is to be the strongest person around. But this is an ideology that isn’t true. Cazador wasn’t safe. He wouldn’t have been safe even ascended. Astarion won’t be either. It’s literally a Faustian bargain and the game hits you over the damn head with it multiple times. Talking him out of it means you to see Astarion for who he is: as a person beyond his abuse and what makes him useful or not.

Hell, on a smaller level, Wyll wanted to kill Karlach. You can find out very easily though that she’s not actually a bad person, it’s just a technicality of Wyll’s contract. Or are you gonna say Karlach is manipulative and immoral for telling the truth and pleading for her life??? Because it’s getting in the way of what Wyll wants to do! Mizora told him she’s heartless! He’ll suffer if he doesn’t! Gale wants to blow himself up and thinks it’s the right choice, better miss out on all of act 3 because why are you trying to convince him out of it???

You can still ofc make different choices in any storyline bc this is s video game I’m not here to tell you what you can and can’t do. Just arguing “actually it’s morally bad that I have to roll persuasion—“ is a dumb argument I need people to stop making.

[m4rs-ex3]

people always make silly little lists of characters' crimes which i love but i'm gonna do smth a lillllll different

tdp character trauma log 🫶✨

callum

lost his father at a Baby age (the perfect age actually; young enough to be very emotional and impressionable but old enough to have to process it)

was thrown into a drastically different + high-key terrifying environment at Baby Age

lost his mother--his comfort person, his only connection to his og life (besides amaya), and also just an amazing individual--leaving him alone in said environment

was constantly belittled for being bad at the thing he never asked to be

lost his stepfather aka his only parent left and experienced an array of regret over what he didn't do while harrow was alive

almost watched his little brother down/freeze to death

was betrayed by his childhood friend

endured a severe dark magic sickness + traumatizing fever dream

almost choked to death

watched his whole world jump off of the highest point in the world

almost died plummeting off of the highest point in the world

was abandoned by Love of His Life for several depressed years

was literally fucking possessed

was taxed with the decision between becoming a vessel for the most dangerous individual in the world to destroy everything and hurt everyone he loves OR essentially ending his life (a conclusion he himself had to come to)

was under the impression that Love of His Life was dead (and he never got to tell her what he wanted to)

almost died pt 3

almost died pt 4-5

bound and brutally beaten + electrocuted (?)

watched the most important person in the world to him mercilessly tortured within an inch of her life

almost lost her AGAIN and had to destroy his entire moral compass in order to save her

tortured

almost died 6: choked pt 2

rayla

where do i begin

well first off grew up in the silvergrove and hey moonshadow elves i love ya but oh dear god -promotes "strength" and stoicism over discussing your feelings and admitting to your weaknesses -so bound (literally) by duty and oaths that faltering results in either being good as dead or dead as dead -ETC

equipped with a debilitating phobia of water--a fear most would see as bizarre and silly and exceptionally irrational--in a culture that as previously mentioned shuns fear to all hell

was left by her parents and (despite them having a perfectly good reason) never really healed

almost drowned which was not helped by the phobia

almost ravaged by an ancient vampire

an ASSASSIN who has to KILL PEOPLE but is a WHOLESOME SWEETHEART

haunted by her "constant" mistakes; her strengths get wholly overshadowed by her weaknesses

told by the father figure she revered that she is a stupid baby useless idiot (roughly)

was flatly told by Father Figure he expected to kill her (to which she's just like "fr prolly" good god girl you are fucked)

had to not only sit and listen to, but conform to horrid stereotypes she's been haunted by since she was a kid

nearly slowly lost a hand (and just straight up accepted like ik this isn't the point but i feel the need to address when she does some insanely broken shit)

saw a person wither to dust before her eyes i feel like we forget about this

almost died like pt 4 ish i literally cannot keep track what counts and whats too minor a near death experience and why do i have to ask these questions

watched the love of her life (shut up harry styles) suffocate in his sleep in her arms

almost died pt 5-8 ?

i once again don't even know where to begin this time with her ghosting. linking this post again but tldr she didn't do anything wrong, she believed she did, her society not only confirmed these suspicions but god they pinned her with so much more, and she was told that actually no and what the fuck is she supposed to do with that u just told her everything she knows is wrong and that she actually has worth and she is not keen on that mindset

almost died 9? i include this one bc soulfangs are terrifying

cooly came to the conclusion that she deserved to die for her parents mistakes (and fully intended on doing so)

almost died jumping off the highest point in the world

suffered from persistent nightmares

almost drowned (the phobia once again did not help)

was nearly killed by the dead former co-workers she feels responsible for killing

forced herself to leave behind Love of Her Life and if you don't think that was the hardest fucking thing in the world for her

spent two, miserable years alone, getting beaten down again and again (mentally and physically,) plagued by her vendetta, haunted by all she lost, never knowing comfort, never knowing love, and probably so much worse that we don't even know woohoo!

thought that, after years of painful wondering, the parents she desperately wanted back were killed right in front of her

almost died pt who even fucking knows

almost died

almost died

almost died

almost died

almost died

was absolutely fucking brutally tortured (within an inch of her life) 😚✌🌸✨✨

almost died horrendously (she rlly couldnt catch a break that day)

had to choose between pushing her trauma to the absolute limit or hating herself for not protecting her friends

almost died

ez

motherless

couldn't make friends (for a reason no one would believe)

that's why yo [daddy] dead. dead as hell. what shoes [he] got on what shoes [he] got on in [his] casket

almost drowned/froze

had the pressure of surviving as an orphan ANDD being a fucking king forced upon him at the same time

felt responsible for thousands of lives

was imprisoned

was almost motherfucking impaled by scary adult

all that? yea he was like 10

therefore

grew up weird like his brother and rayla

probably almost died a lot of times

imprisoned again & was threatened and bared witness to his brother + his closest friend tortured (+ almost murdered)

almost murdered by someone he once trusted

prolly a lot more idk i was gonna include soren n claudia but i am so fucking exhausted THESE KIDS ARE SO FUCKED OML 😭😭

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Your only chance

(dark!)Yandere FO!General Poe Dameron x gn!reader

Category: Twisted Letter - I recommend you read the informations for twisted letters first ->here<- if you haven't already.

Dead dove do not eat - you'll get exactly what's in the warnings!

Warnings: NSFW, Poe is a perv, mention of male masturbation, possessive Poe, yandere themes(?), dirty thoughts.

Hello Precious,

do you miss me? Did you think about me? Because you can bet I sure did miss you. I bet the Resistance has some real trouble without me by their side. I'm gonna be honest with you here, let me spill the beans: remember my last mission a few months ago when the Resistance - you, saw me for the last time?

I switched sides. I joined the First Order, I was sick of constantly losing my friends, always running, always fighting, over and over again. I just couldn't stand it anymore. Call me crazy if you want but I made a decision. As the First Order became stronger, I began to realize that fighting against them would make everything worse for the Galaxy.

It's true the First Order suffers under being called the big bad evil, just like the Galactic Empire, but it really just depends on the leaders. After I joined them they of course interrogated me, I spilled everything about the Resistance I had, every top secret operation, revealed the bases, and I even snitched about some Resistance spies within the First Order.

And you know what they did? What they gave me in return? They promoted me to a General, they gave me my own fleet to command, my own loyal Stormtroopers, my own Resurgent Star Destroyer.

The First Order welcomed me, they gave me power. And all that just because I did the right thing - to fight for the right side.

But enough about me, let's talk about you.

Did you know I had - still have - a crush on you? From the very first day you joined the Resistance. I can still remember how Leia introduced you to me. She gave me the order to make sure you were prepared for your tasks. I did just that, watched you doing your tasks, and I liked what I saw.

In the following weeks you became a good member, following your orders obediently, you were proud of being in the Resistance. And I'm pretty sure you knew how much I liked you - how much I wanted you...

I mean, didn't you notice how I was looking at you every time during briefings? Perhaps not because I was almost always sitting at the darker corner of the room.

Whenever I praised you, putting a hand on your shoulder, it always stayed there for a moment longer than necessary. I just liked touching you...

I gotta admit, everytime when I saw someone else touching you I just wanted to rip them apart...

But don't worry, I wasn't mad at you for flirting or touching someone else - after all you didn't knew about my secret crush on you, so I forgive you.

And speaking of touching...

I bet you knew how flirty I could get sometimes, but you didn't know how dirty I can get, right?

How you thought I wouldn't pump my fist up and down my rock hard cock after thinking about you every single night? Sometimes, late at night I even paid you visits, stroking my cock over, and over again until I shot my cum on your thigh. Almost every night, again and again... I wished you could have been awake to see how hard you made me, how you made me feel, how feral you've made me...

The things I wanted to do with you. You don't know how hard I fought the urge to just wake you up and fuck you stupid, ravage your body until morning...

And now that I'm at the First Order? Now I want you back. I want to show you how good it is to be on my side.

I'm going to make sure you will belong to me, just like back in the Resistance...

You may not know it but you've always belonged to me, from day one.

I wrote you this message so you know how I feel about you, what happened to me.

I hope you read the message as soon as possible because I know exactly where you are, which base - and I'm coming.

And don't be afraid when you see my fleet arrive, you will be captured and brought to me.

But don't bother warning the Resistance, it won't change anything - even if you get evacuated from the base - I will find you eventually...

Your only chance to be part of the future of the Galaxy is with being by my side.

And lastly, don't fight against my troops or you will be stunned.

I will see you soon, Precious.

-- P. D.

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

Vladislav’s Fluff alphabet

Original template by @eekshade

Requested by @rthounasty (you’re right, Vlad deserves more love)

Warnings: Occasionally vulgar language

Author’s note: The reader will be human here. The whole fucking edited draft of this got deleted bc of my bad WiFi and I had to redo it… Perks of living in a shit hole ig.

_____________________________________________

Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O)

Vladislav admires the fact, that you see him for what he is. You’re not intimidated by his past or reputation and he doesn’t have to keep up this front around you, because you see him right through and it is such a peculiar feeling to have someone who loves him for him.

Boldness. (how bold are they in regard to their S/O? who confessed first?)

Funnily enough, I feel like you would be the one to confess first. He is a very proud vampire and the thought of a rejection subconsciously scares him way too much to hit it off with you. But after you two are already dating, he’ll be the more bold/initiative one.

Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)

Vlad is very observant. Much more observant than you think. Even if you try to hide it, he always notices when you’re down and starts a conversation with you. Usually on some random unrelated theme, but it slowly gets you to open up and talking about what’s got you so bothered. He’ll just listen and let you get it out of the system.

Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)

Staying in is a more plausible option in Vlad’s eyes, because you get to relax in privacy together. In public, there is still some level of discomfort that might prevent you from being that affectionate together or having deep personal conversations. Usually you go out on the town, if some of your/Vlad’s friends call you along.

Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)

Once he really gets comfortable within your relationship, he starts taking initiative and mostly volunteers to make the decisions. However, if you have a more persuasive type of character he’ll probably slow down a bit. It is quite refreshing for him to not have any competitiveness in a relationship.

Family. (do they want to start a family?)

I think, that if you don’t initiate this yourself, it wouldn’t be in his plans. Children are quite complicated creatures and he’s not sure, if he’s cut out to handle one, especially considering that the child in question will be from a completely different world, that he struggles to understand. But if you end up raising a child together, he turns out to be more than a decent father figure.

Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)

Vlad takes your relationship very seriously. He has rather clear intentions on one day making you a vampire and living together forever. But that doesn’t mean he’s constantly dwelling on it. The best part of having a partner is getting to be laid back and genuinely unwind.

Hugs. (how do they hug?)

Two words: bear hugs. He straight up scoops you up and squeezes the last breath out of your lungs in the most affectionate way possible. Sometimes you have to remind him to be gentler, because he legitimately can crush your ribcage (he won’t though, I promise).

Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O)

You really inspire Vlad to create. He already creates a lot, but after you appeared, his amount of poetry/art done almost doubled. He doesn’t show you everything he makes. Instead he carefully picks out the best works to present. The other “rejects” will forever stay swept under his coffin or tucked away somewhere in a cupboard.

Jealousy. (do they get jealous?)

Vlad can’t help, but sometimes view your friends as potential rivals. These are just intrusive thoughts, that can never leave his head, even though he knows it’s stupid. He never acts on them, to be sure. But just the feeling itself is very unpleasant to him.

Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)

Vlad loves neck/shoulder kisses both on the giving and the receiving end. He finds these especially romantic and intimate. To him, the fact that you let him kiss your neck really shows how much you trust Vladislav to not hurt you. Also, I have to mention that Vlad is probably the best kisser ever, since he had a lot of time to practice.

Love Language.

Quality time is definitely Vlad’s main love language. Nothing shows his love and devotion more than just sitting together for hours and talking about anything and everything. Sometimes you don’t even have to talk. Even being together in one room, being close to each other, it means so much to both of you.

Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)

Vladislav doesn’t cook, obviously, but he’s willing to try for you. He might cook something in your kitchen, using some old recipe he found in Viago’s library and it’s probably going to taste absolutely inedible, but it’s the thought that counts, right? But honestly, with time he actually gets really good and can cook a legitimately tasty meal for you.

Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)

He is very straightforward in that way, I think. He either just calls you by your actual name or “My Love” / “Dragostea mea”. He might occasionally use some other pet names like “Darling” / “Lubi”. But overall, sticks to the classics.

Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)

Vlad takes his time with opening up to you. He slowly shares random snippets of his thoughts and watches how you react to them. When he knows you well enough, he’ll be completely transparent about his present and past experiences/feelings.

PDA.

He is rather hesitant with public affection. To him this sort of stuff is private, not something to be shared with the world. But simple gestures like holding hands or leaning into each other are totally okay with him.

Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)

It all depends on you. Vladislav is a very proud vampire and even if he knows, that he’s in the wrong, it takes him a while to apologise. If you give him time, he will come around to it on his own, but if you confront him about it really speeds up the process. He doesn’t really hold grudges on you for mundane arguments and forgives you easily.

Rules. (boundaries they have.)

No violence. He’s got enough of that in both his normal and romantic life and he’s sick and tired. Vlad just wants something sweet and peaceful for once and having these aggressive outbursts is the exact opposite of his ideal relationship.

Security. (how protective they are of their S/O.)

Vladislav seems to be a bit more on edge when you are around people he doesn’t know. Even if they are your friends, it takes a while to get him to trust them. He remains very vigilant and observant, as if he’s expecting some kind of a catch. This tension disappears after a bit of time spent with the new people.

Time. (how long does it take to fall for their S/О?)

Vladislav is all about slow burn, I think. Only after he truly gets to know you close he starts to develop romantic feelings. It’s the little parts of your personality that are hidden from most people that really make you special to him and Vlad wants to have this personal connection, before a romantic one.

Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)

He is really upset, if you are afraid of him. Of course, you’re not terrified. Otherwise you two definitely wouldn’t date. But if you flinch when he gets close to your neck or fidget uncomfortably at the sight of his fangs it makes Vladislav so angry about his own nature. He really wishes he could be human sometimes.

Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they with their S/O?)

Vlad is pretty spontaneous with this sort of stuff. One day he may just wake you up and say you’re going to Transylvania with zero explanation. He does prepare himself for travelling somewhere he has never been before, but it’s usually done by reading books with very very very outdated information, so please do your research too. Don’t let him plan the whole thing by himself.

Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)

He promised to keep you safe. Vladislav has lost way too many close people throughout his existence and he’s not about to let you be one of them. The world is full of dangers both for the living and the undead and if he can provide you any sense of security, he will.

Xenial. (how they make you feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)

Every time you walk into the room, you are greeted with this signature toothy grin of his, that just can’t not make your heart swell with warmth. Such a small gesture, but really shows Vlad’s true feelings towards you. And when you reach out to hug him anytime he’s close enough to you to do so, it makes him feel like the most important person in the world.

Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it?)

He doesn’t look like someone, who gets separation anxiety… but he does get it. He doesn’t like to be away from you for too long, because it makes him feel lonesome. Sure, his flatmates are still there and that is great, but it’s just not the same feeling. He knows it’s not entirely healthy, but what can you do?

Zzz. (sleeping habits/how they cuddle.)

Vladislav likes, when you lay on top of him. He sleeps in a rather straight position, so he’s stable enough to use him as a second mattress and he just enjoys your weight on top of his chest. It calms him to feel your presence so apparently. If you get cold from his body temperature, he first lays a blanket over himself, then you go on top.

[onmyyan]

🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon, here again! #5

Ya gonna have to make a divider folder for me or somethin for all my posts I’m submitting to ya at this rate…

Anywho as my brain was rottin n everythin I was sent into another eureka episode of delulu with Ashley Hunt. I’m so sorry but no not really cuz I love this man and I’d let him tie me up to him like a cock sleeve. Like seriously I wish this man would geta larger fan base too cuz he deserve a harem. Imma be whore #1 for him though plz…

So back to me thoughts. Imma be like those people jumpin into multiverses and constantly explorin AUs, cause it was another AU idea I had with meetin Ash. We got your original story reader, then the AU of hardcore city girl reader yours truly made (check out my submits #2 and #3 for new viewers), and now we got…

Bimbo AU reader!!!

Yea we samplin lots of different dishes hun! Cause sometimes I just wanna be “no thoughts head empty” ya know? But like not in a horrible misogynistic way…Like hardcore city girl was fun, but now let’s see something that’s more opposite of her character and see how Ash deals with this new character/reader personality.…so dontcha worry this new AU won’t be bad. I hope not…

You know the drill, story starts by us comin out to the small ass town in the countryside n livin with our grandma. In this AU though, grannie is doin just fine. It’s us who’s fucked. Ya see we got our hearts broken yet again in our home of the big city. We’re not that smart ya see…and cause of that we’re constantly taken advantage of by romantic prospects. What can I say? We’re a hopeless romantic at heart and wanna be whisked away be a handsome Prince on a horse…

So grannie thought it’d be good for us to leave the city for a while and come to the country to take a break from all the bullshit. We oblige cause there ain’t anyone who’d ever take advantage of us in a small town in the hicks. And some of our former suitors have been real bratty to us lately and our friends think distance might be the only solution at this point. Maybe we can become a better or new person by the time our stay with grannie is over. We could get whisked away to the land of Oz and getta new brain perhaps…

So now we all cheery comin out of our vehicle and unpackin our luggage. Ashley Hunt pops up of course and introduces himself. We get a lil flustered cause he big big at 6’6” and got the muscles to match. We polite n everythin and introduce ourselves too. He offers up to fix parts of the house (as per usual story sequence) and before we give him our answer, a small pocket journal falls from the luggage we’re carrying onto the floor. It’s guide our friends helped compile for us on “how to survive and make smart decisions” cause we just that naive and stupid…

It filled with tips, advice, and scenarios of what to do when a man does xyz. It even got a chart that you can answer yes, no, and the like that points you down to the final verdict at the bottom. We look over to the sound of the falling object and see the pocket journal and that enough for us to remember our poor decision making skills. So we just say “no” like our friends back at home have been drillin into us to practice sayin to men when we confused or can’t make a sound decision at the moment…

Ash is a bit taken aback at this and is asking us if we got someone else already comin to do repairs. We respond “no” again. Then he asks if we’re gonna do it ourselves. We say “no” again. And then we kinda just stand there in awkward silence for a few moments as Ash himself is just tryin to process what just happened himself…

We tell him it was nice meetin him and he gets the hint and bids adieu sayin that he hopes he can see more of us. And if we change our minds or need anythin from him to not hesitate to come n get him. “No” is what we reply with a smile cause we stupidly on auto pilot repeat mode still. Ash is just stupefied himself at this point wonderin what he did wrong as the door closes in his face and he got a while to think ridin home…

It’s been a couple days n we gotten all settled in. We haven’t gone into town yet and decided we should explore. We’ve also been running out of some food so it’d be good to pick up some groceries too while we at it. We go to town surprisingly easily given the single direct road from the house. Thank goodness for our poor brain…And as we shoppin in the small store mindin our business we get harassed by the town creep. A old poor drunk who tends to only come out durin late nights to a bar. But lucky us he had to come out this fine afternoon…

 He tells us how we must be new in town since he hasn’t seen our pretty face n all. We just smile and take his compliment cause we really do think he bein nice to us. Drunky of course takes this as an invite and starts gettin handsy and our danger signals finally start flarin. And whose hand comes in to save us? Our country beau Ash!

He easily pulls drunky back tellin him how his ma and pa raised an animal for doin something like that to a lady and throws him out of the store onto the street. Ash quickly comes back to us askin if we ok and all. We nod and tell him this ain’t our first rodeo dealin with men like that. To which we don’t notice the brief flashin murderous glint in his eyes as we ‘em this. He pushes the conversation to a better place askin how we’re enjoying town n everythin. And we happily tell him we likin the area so far. Easily forgettin the events that just occurred as we continue our shoppin with Ash by our side…

The conversation ends when our shoppin does n we tell Ash we should get home. He says goodbye he himself happy that we were able to be close and our second encounter wasn’t like our first again. Much more pleasant. And as we drivin back home we wanna do somethin nice for Ash since he saved us. But then we think back to our pocket journal and gotta consult it first…

As we lookin through it we realize that it doesn’t have anything for what to do when a man saves you from danger…Sure it got what to do when a man offers you a free ride in his vehicle, when a man offers you a free drink or meal, or when a man gifts you somethin really expensive. But nothin about a man savin you from another man…So what the fuck do we do?

We ask our grannie for advice since she gotta have something good. She asks us what is our head tellin us what he might like. We respond with “blowin him? Men always told me that’s when they liked me the most” Grannie is not amused. She is also concerned for our survival out in the world. She suggests we bake him a pie since she a bit old fashioned thinkin that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And you can’t ever go wrong with somethin sweet…

We reluctantly agree as she really really pushes it as she obviously doesn’t want us going down the other route. And so we spend the rest of the afternoon bakin a cherry pie for Ash for me to take to him later in the evenin when he’s probably for sure done with farm work. Night comes and we going alone to Ash’s residence. And luckily it also a one way road down from grannie’s so our poor brain won’t break down and malfunction. We go up to Ash’s large large house. He got a big farm too. And so we knock his door with the door knocker and it a cute shoe horse…

Ash is genuinely surprised to see us. And so late at night too. He initially woulda thought somethin bad had happened if not for the pie in front of us pushing it to him with a smile. “I made you a cherry pie. Well grannie and I did. As thanks for helping me out today at the market,” we say in the cutest way possible that’s about to make him cumbust. “Grannie wouldn’t let me thank you how I woulda wanted to.” Ash grins back wonderin how you’d thank him, and before he can ask outa curiosity we keep talkin…”I would’ve blown you as thanks. But if you don’t like the cherry pie I can still blow you if you’d like. I can do it in your bed too if it’d help you go to sleep too”…

Ash is just a stunned red hot blushin mess at this point and he swears his precum is probably sleeping out of him by now and if he moves an inch he’ll probably nut in his pants. We ask him if he ok and if he’s got a fever since he so red and not movin, and Ash just a stumblin mess of words n expressions. He eventually excuses himself and invites us in and prepares dishware and cutlery for us to try the cherry pie. We start apologizin and tellin him that he ain’t gonna like it since we aren’t good cooks and all. And he reassures us that he’s sure that it’ll taste delightful…

Now it’s uwu boohoo story time as we tell Ash that no one ever likes our cookin or bakin as it’s always tasted bad. All the men we were with previously also tried to get us to cook or bake for them at some point and were also disgusted with us and our abilities that we just ended up eating out all the time before the eventual break up for somethin else. So we tellin Ash with our eyes gettin a bit wet n glassy that this is our last warnin and we happy to give him a proper thanks instead. And Ash gives us one look before devouring the whole cherry pie easily himself and then sayin “it was the best cherry pie I’ve ever had.” And we just stunned n waitin for him to throw up n topple over or somethin. But he doesn’t. Instead they’re a small bite left and he picks it up with his fork and pushes it up to our mouth. Tellin us to try it. We open our mouths and eat it. And it’s not bad? Ash smiles at us and tells us to have more faith in ourselves. We smile back too…

Ash asks if we need any help gettin back home since it’s dark out and he’s ok with walkin home n stuff. We good and leave promptly back home. And while we wantin to feel good from everythin that happened we don’t let ourselves as we read our pocket journal almost every night. Advice n notes from friends actin as our conscious tellin us we always fall for men who give us the slightest attention and men are scummy liars who can fake about anythin if it means gettin some kitty. So we just try to tell ourselves that Ash is probably fakin it and is vomitin the pie probably right now. But we tasted it…the cherry pie did taste good…

And so for the next while with grannie we wanna try cookin and bakin more. Much to her delight. And we really really tryin. Tryin have more faith in ourselves n everythin. We makin everythin from cute sandwiches, cookies, to hand made pasta. Really becomin versatile in different dishes for any persons stomach. Soon enough we meet Ash again when we on a grocery run and can’t help but blush a little n hope he doesn’t notice. He asks how we’ve been and we happily tell him everythin. He says he’d be honored to try more of our cookin and bakin if we have any spare leftovers or need to use a taste tester much to our laughter…

We part ways once again and going home for the night and cookin dinner with grannie wouldn’t you know…the fuckin house really could’ve used some repairs here and there cause the damn oven gave out before bed. So grannie having her old timey mentality just told us to go over to Ash’s the next morning and ask him to borrow his kitchen for the day to make a few meals for the week for us. And it’d be good practice for me to go at cookin n bakin alone. We wanna say “no” as our conditioning from our friends taught us to, but grannie persists and isn’t taking no for an answer. So mornin comes and we gotta leave early to catch Ash before he leaves work early for the farm…

We drive n go up to Ash’s at dawn hopin he’ll be up at least and we haven’t completely woken him from bed. Much to our delight he’s up and wonderin what we need. Playfully sayin that it’s awful early to be bringin him food but he’ll always be ready to accept anythin from us. We explain the situation to him and luckily he agrees a bit too excitedly. He jumps and easily brings in some of the bags of food we brought in the car into the house and onto the kitchen counter for us. We start preparin food and Ash just sits back and watches us for a bit with a grin that’d make fish forget how to swim. Tellin us eventually that he needs to get goin but to make ourselves at home…

So the day progresses and sure enough it’s afternoon and Ash comes back into the house thinkin he can take a quick shower since some of the bulls he had to wrestle were especially bitchy today and tossed him around in the environment a little more than usual. And lo and behold when the door opens Ash hears from us “yay! You’re back! I was wonderin when you were coming home. I made you lunch. I bet you’re hungry from working so hard!” Pinching himself wouldn’t be enough to wake up from this blissful dream Ash thought. No he’d have to ram himself into the bull pen and even getting kicked n bucked by wild horses wouldn’t be enough to wake him. Not that he’d ever want to wake up from this moment anyway…

Ash comes into the kitchen and sure enough sees us settin out his food for him and usherin him to eat. We made him a large ass cheeseburger with a baked potato and coleslaw on the side. We keep babbling to him as Ash is just kinda in lalaland takin in us in the kitchen lookin all cute n shit and bein happy to see him. “…to your liking right? Wouldn’t want something so small since your so massive and everything. I couldn’t handle eating something so big. Can’t wrap my hands around it. I’d probably choke”…

And so this brings Ash outa lalaland and into hornyboner land as he’s just tryin not to take what the last few words we said outta context. That and he’s also trying to get his lil friend to settle down and not make the table rise from underneath…Ash is happily eatin and is doin his best to act normal…though everythin we doin to him is so domestic…Askin how his days goin so far, how much longer he’ll be workin, when he comin back home, what he wants for dinner…We givin this man a seizure practically and Ash probably needs to get his blood checked after we leave for the day…

And with the last bit of sanity Ash has he manages to leave n go back to work after he done eatin lunch. We bid him goodbye n say “take care. Make sure to stay safe for me ok? I don’t want you gettin hurt. Bye!” Needless to say Ash is doing peachy…We continue cookin the rest of our meals for grannie and I for the week in addition to startin a dinner for Ash too. Durin this time we get done a bit earlier than expected and see that some of his blankets in his livin room could use a wash and get the idea to help a bit more since he’s been so kind lettin us use his kitchen. And we look around the house just a lil for any more laundry to do…

We find the laundry room. Throw in the blankets and some towels and other items too. Cause it just easy to do it in one go ya know? And after some time when we all done to our horror some of the once white items are now a cute pink. And we panicking cause what’s Ash gonna do to us once we fucked up? It ain’t good n thinkin if we should quickly pack up n make a run for it to our car. As if the universe hated us we Ash comes in unnoticed sayin that he was callin for us for a bit throughout the house…

We shakin and lookin at him watery and glassy eyed thinkin that this is the end for us. Cause this is what always happen to us with men. We always find a way to make them mad at us and ruin whatever relationship we had goin on whether it was platonic or romantic. Cause we’re just that dumb and don’t have anything else goin on for us in life aside from our cute face n body accordin to them. And so we just do what we’ve always done when confronted with similar situations and go real quiet. Wait to be scolded for all our shortcomings n stuff. Then tossed outside and cry on our bed for the next week or something…

Ash just looks at us and asks if we were also doing our laundry. And we just remain beady eyed n silent like a deer in the headlights. Ash asks again and asks if we need any help of anythin. And at this point we just go on auto pilot mode again and start sayin we’re sorry and cryin. Ash of course is surprised and very gentle sayin that it’s ok and just hugs us lets us sob and cry. Get it out of our system…

After we’ve gained a bit of our composure he surprises us by carrying us extremely easily bridal style to the livin room where we explain what happened and how some of his stuff is now pink. He lets out a hearty chuckle and tells us not to worry our pretty little head. “It’s just fabric. It can be replaced if I really needed it to” And he also tells us he doesn’t mind the pink. It’ll give him something now to always think of us. To always have of us…

And so we laugh at it some more and then we both sit down in the dining room to eat the dinner I prepared for us. It some chicken, pasta, and salad and we talk some more about Ash’s day n life in general. We take him up in his offer in the end to do some repairs around grannie’s house since our oven fell apart and we wouldn’t want the rest of the house crumblin too. Much to his delight cause now he has reason to swing by more. We finish up eatin and I bring out a cute lil Angel cake for dessert for him n we eat a bit of it together. Night ends with me packing up the rest of the week’s meals for grannie and I and drivin back home. Tellin Ash how much we appreciated him for lettin us borrow his kitchen and not gettin mad at us for messin up his laundry…

And so the next week progresses with Ash comin to do repairs on the house and us talkin to him a lot while he does it. He never tells us to be quiet or what we’re sayin is dumb and stupid. He genuinely really happy to be hearin our voice no matter what’s comin out. Before we know it we’ve forgotten all about readin our little pocket journal n stuff for advice. And even when he done with all the repairs we practically just hang out with him about every other day…

On one of the days we hangin out with him he brings us out to the stables where he keeps his horses for a surprise he wants to show us. In the stables there are some ribbons of all different colors and lots of brushes. He told us he remembered that we thought it’d be fun to dress up his horses and make ‘em all cute braidin their hair n stuff. So he wanted to fulfill that wishful thought of ours. And we beamin happy as fuck cause no man ever really was this considerate of us and remembered what we said even if it was somethin like a small fleetin thought. So we spend the day decorating the horses of course safely as Ash makes sure we know how to handle the animals in a way so we don’t scare them. But not like the horses get scared cause Ash got the best horses n trained them the best a person would probably ever see. He’d never put us in any potential harms way…

And towards the end of the day we take a ride on the horse of our choosin. A large white stallion all cute with multi colored ribbons we put on it. It’s our first time ridin with Ash and the first time did not disappoint. It was fun and he made sure we were comfortable all the way. We felt so safe n secure being able to lean back into his broad n muscular body we coulda sworn we could’ve fell asleep if we wanted to. Have we ever felt this comfortable and happy bein with a man before?…

Starts to get dark out and we head back to his residence. Ash puts his horse away and while he at it we excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom. When we enter his house we find that some of the stuff we accidentally dyed pink is nicely arranged around the house. He kept it just as he said. Some blankets over some furniture and some pink towels n such in the bathroom and kitchen. When we leave and meet Ash outside where our car is parked we have a faint blush on our face. Tellin him he doesn’t have to keep the pink to spare our feelings. And Ash responds again n reassures us sayin he likes it. “Keeps you around the house when I can’t see you”…

We smile at this and ask him if we can add another touch while we’re at it. He of course agrees. Sayin that we can do whatever we want to his house cause he’s sure he’ll like it. And so we pull out a big pink ribbon from our pocket n tie it all nice n pretty on the horse shoe knocker on the front door. Tellin him it’s so that we don’t forget this very happy n special day. We give Ash a big hug n burry ourselves into him tellin him how much we appreciated this gesture he did for us today. And Ash of course is equally happy n prayin that we don’t notice the massive bulge in his jeans. So we leave n drive back home to grannie’s finally. Leavin Ash to admire the new cute addition to the house…

After some more time we goin on a nature walk by ourselves in the late afternoon. Just enjoyin gettin out of the house for a bit. We figure Ash is hard doin his farm work so we may drop by later during our walk and wait for him when he done. As we walkin we see a car on the road drivin up. It’s a pretty luxurious lookin car n we really truly don’t think much about it n all. It starts to slow down n pulls up to us. The driver door opens and a man comes out…it’s one of our fuckin exes…

He gets all giddy sayin that he knew it was us from the dress we were wearin. And before we know it he pulls our hands into his n starts spewing how he was wrong to have dumped us and that we were the best girlfriend we ever had. Though it unsurprisingly quickly goes into him mostly degrading us. Tellin us that even though we have nothin goin on in our head at least we have the best bedroom skills he’s ever experienced. That’s something we actually good at doin n that we should get back together n pretend like our breakup never happened. Him continuously sayin too that we need him to survive and to be smart for once and listen to his words. To trust him completely. To rely on him completely. And that no man other than him can love n protect us as well as he can…

 We luckily go into autopilot safety mode sayin “no” to him n stuff. He takes this about as well you’d think…Goin “why the hell not!? What’s the matter baby? Country air messin with what’s left in that head of yours?” The man askin question after question. Accusation after accusation only to be met with a “no” from us that keeps increasing in panic and fear. He just snaps and starts to pull us into the passenger seat of his car. Tellin us that we just need some time and we’re heading back to the city now. Obviously we fightin our best and start to cry cause we scared as hell as we should be…

Just like out of a fairytale, or I guess one of them western movies, a lasso comes out of nowhere in the far distance and latches itself easily around the man’s neck. And before anyone of us can process what’s happenin. The man is violently choked and dragged to the ground with our cowboy beau’s silhouette in the distance literally pulling him by the throat. It doesn’t take much for the man’s body to go limp…though we don’t see that as Ash made sure to drag the body with his horse deeper into the tall grass before death finally came. And the wolves later if Ash doesn’t deal with the body first…

We cryin and still tryin to process the events that still happened. With Ash on his horse quickly comin up to us, dismountin it and holding onto us tightly. Doin what he does best and consoling us as we let it all out. After a bit he picks us up and placed us on his horse. Tellin us that we’re goin back to his house for the time bein since it’s not safe outside right now for me. We of course nod and just lay into his body. Lettin his comforting smell envelop us as our steady ride home soothes the rest of our nerves…

Back at his home Ash fixed us up with some hot cocoa and us bundled up in a cute pink blanket on the sofa. Lettin us take our time to compile our thoughts n speak when we wanna. Eventually we tell him thanks for savin us and how that man was one of our exes. We tell him how he was gonna take us back to the city with him if Ash didn’t show up when he did. And we joke how Ash is like our knight in shining armor ridin on his loyal stallion to save us time n time again. This isn’t the first time talkin about our love life n bad relationships with men to Ash as we’ve talked to him over the course of gettin to know each other. So we just enjoy Ash’s presence and lean into him. Too tired from the bullshit that happened today…

Ash bein the fine gentleman he is offers to take us home or if we’d like we can spend the night at his place. We take him up on that as we say we can use a friend right now. So we get better back to our normal selves gradually as the rest of the evening progresses. Cookin n bakin together all while giggling too. We eat dinner n dessert, chat some more n get ready to go to bed. Ash gets us all fixed up in a neat n tidy spare bedroom of many he got for the night. Sayin if we need anythin he’ll be in his bedroom. But he wasn’t expecting us to look at him weirdly n say “can’t you sleep with me tonight?”…

This takes him back a bit as we continue to babble sayin that this is what our friends would do with us back when something bad happened to us. Though they were girl friends and not boy friends…but to us there’s really no difference…So he responds askin if that’d make us feel safer n better he’d do it, albeit in a very very flustered manner. We squeal with delight and say we can just sleep in his bed then. No need to be cleanin sheets for a guest bedroom afterwards…

And so here we are lyin in Ash’s large ass bed in a cute pink baby doll nightgown tellin him to come settle in after he done with his shower after we went in first. Ash is doin well as you’d imagine thinkin that his dick n balls r gonna strangle him in his sleep that is if he can get any sleep tonight which he doubts. So we settle in bed together and as Ash closes his eyes n rolls over to his side to make sure we couldn’t feel his raging boner durin the night he feels our presence over him. We lean down and kiss him on the forehead n say “your suppose to wish each other good night silly”. And so he like a blushin bride about to cumbust from bein kissed for the first time by us. He stutters a quick apology, says goodnight to us and tries to focus on not dyin tonight cause he’s really fighting for his life right now…

And so the night progresses and he can’t sleep and neither can we. We poke Ash’s back a bit a whisper askin him if he’s awake. He grunts a yea. We ask him if he’s up for some “late night girlie talk” and he obliges us of course. So we start off nice n easy by askin him “do you ever think I’ll find true love?” And this psychologically springs forth Ash into action with his body turnin to us in the dark…

He doesn’t hesitate to say “yes” and starts spewin the most romantic shit ever. Tellin us that we’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever met. Inside and outside. He looks forward to seein our face every time. We always are so considerate of others. So selfless and that any sane man would fall on their knees for a chance to be with us…

We start tearin up a little sayin he doesn’t have to say that to us to make us feel better n all. We got poor self esteem of course and are in that perpetual compliment denial phase. And so Ash turns on one of the night stand lamps and asks us if he looks like we’re lyin to him. Of course we see nothing but sincerity painted across his handsome face and tell him “no”. He gently takes our hands into his and says “I would love to have a chance at bein with ya. Can I have a go? I promise you’ll never regret” as he looks deeply into our eyes…

And so we a blushin mess too now. The hopeless romantic in us quickly risin to the surface to break through as we pull our hands out from Ash’s and take his face to push our lips onto his. Pulling back after his surprised reaction with a “yes!” and smilin and continuin our attack on his plush lips. Ash eagerly accepts as the passion between us is utterly unchained. Both going at each other barely gaspin for air between kisses on the face neck and body…

Ash was wearin some trunks and a shirt to be polite to us since we were gonna be sleeping together with no funny business goin on but now those easily came off as he also tore off our own nightgown too to do the deed. And so the night was filled with nothing but love. Ash takin care of us in a way that’s never been done before and in a way we didn’t think that’s ever be possible. And us returning the favor and finally showin us our skills that we’ve always been complimented on. It almost become more of like a competition really seein who could make the other fall apart faster and let the other completely dominate them. Ash won eventually havin us mewl from his lips pressed against our nipples, cock rearranging our guts, and fingers rubbin our clit. The rest of the night quickly flew by and the mornin light was pourin into the room…

Alas after the night’s events Ash continued to court us. Tellin us that it’s what we deserved n makin us fall in love with him further n further. Grannie was delighted of course knowin that we’re in good hands for the rest of our lives if we decided to wed him. And Ash finally took us around town to meet the locals n everything since we still hadn’t really met anyone or made connections. Introducing us as his lady and makin it very clear of course that we were off limits. Though we never noticed that behavior from our kind hearted Ash…

Eventually Ash proposed to us in a beautiful landscape right outta a fairytale book and we of course screamed “yes”. We invited the entire town in one of those big open wedding events and also called on our friends in the city to come down too. Makin them sick with worry since we hadn’t been in touch for so long and they were worried about us since our ex came lookin for us a while ago. Though no one knew where he disappeared to in the end…Some people out of legal obligation had to search for him but with his history of substance abuse benders, no one was really surprised that he couldn’t turn up in the end. So it’d always be just one of those “don’t care cold cases”…

The wedding was splendid. Bein surrounded by friends n family. And of course walkin down the aisle to Ash. Movin into Ash’s was the easiest thing in the world too and Ash was thrilled to let us decorate the place more. And with all the fuckin we were doin durin the courtship it wasn’t really a surprise that we ended up pregnant. Walked down the aisle while we were pregnant though thankfully no one knew as we weren’t showing obvious signs yet. Wouldn’t want the locals to think ill of Ash or I thinkin it was a shotgun weddin or anythin…

In the end we got our happily ever after with our Prince Charming who’d always come to save us. And now we’re havin twins on the way to join us too. So we’ll be a stay at home mother and wife much to Ash’s relief as he wants us in a safe environment where he can always get to us easily. Ash also isn’t ever worried about money or resources. He got plenty to take care of us and our family. He wants a big one too. At least 5 more babies too. And we’ll happily oblige that wish cause he gave his heart to us just as we gave him ours. To love each other forever n forever.

Scene!!! I’m done with this AU! Thank fuck it was hella long! Way too long to be honest but it was honestly so much fun to write about a “Bimbo” Reader that I wanted to make sure I gave her a good amount of depth and didn’t make the story seem lazy with no build up or progression with evidence of Ash’s and Reader’s relationship. I wanted it to feel “earned” and plausible ya know?

I also wanted it to be clearly different from the City Reader AU as it’s fun to explore different characters/personalities and thus how the story will unfold differently for each of them. Didn’t want to have too many of the same scenes or scenarios either from the City Reader AU, so that’s why there isn’t “cowboy hat rule” for example in the Bimbo Reader AU. So fresh n new scenes with Ash. And I also had real fun explorin Ash again and how he navigates this new reader. Cause City Reader is obviously in a rush to get outta town and doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with Ash, so Ash is put into an extreme time crunch. Really showin his “yan” side in that AU. While in the Bimbo Reader AU the girls obviously not in a rush to leave or anythin and is more scared if anythin to be in a relationship again. She’s much more vulnerable and Ash understands that so like dealin with a spooked animal he knows he gotta play the long game with this girlie. As such this AU really showed his “dere” side more I think. Of course I included the twins n 5 more babies at the end cause I figure even in multiple AUs the existences of other characters still happen. So to me it wouldn’t really make sense if Reader suddenly only had 3 kids in this Bimbo AU or didn’t have twins at first pregnancy

So lemme know how I did. Lemme know if you enjoyed it or not

P.S. Girlie did you get my submission #4 or did Tumblr censor it and delete it or somethin? Do I gotta resubmit it to ya!?

Love 🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon

I AM CONSISTENTLY BLOWN AWAY BY YOU OMFG THABK YOUUUUU I ADORE BIMBO READER SO MUCH SJDKDMDM THE WAY ASH IS SO SOFT WITH HERRRRRR OMFG YOU DID UR BIG ONE WITH THIS BABES DHDJDND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE