#like never just accept a bad situation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

howlingwolf23 · 11 months ago

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Me - *complaining about valid reasons and things I'm angry about*

Some people - You just need to let that anger go. Being angry won't help the situation. You can't change things by being angry. You just need to learn to accept it.

Me - congrats, now you're on the list

#anger about things has gotten me this fae #if i just accepted things for how they are #i would still be stuck with druggie alcoholic abusive family #like never just accept a bad situation #work sucks #american healthcare #neighbors suck #capitalism sucks #fuck you pay me

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serpentface · 6 months ago

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Don't get too attached

#Brakul did a lot of the parenting for Erubi (the first of the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides throuple bastard children) in infancy especially due #to Hibrides going through absolutely horrific post-partum depression (and not wanting to be a parent to begin with. Like she #had accepted it as an inevitability and a duty but when it actually happened it was just like Oh God. I am in hell)#Brakul is the only one of the three that actually Wants to be a parent and the fact that he can't behave as such in order to avoid #suspicion that he's the father is kind of a living nightmare for him a little.#Not like he isn't involved in his ''''nieces''' lives given he lives in the same household but he has to keep a bit of distance.#Janeys and especially Hibrides are pretty unsympathetic about this. For Hibrides it's like she has had to go through so much shit #to maintain this situation she never asked to be a part of and when he has to go through a fraction of that he breaks the fuck down.#He only wants the benefits of the whole situation and isn't willing to deal with the consequences.#This is also one of the very few things she's sympathetic with Janeys about like she respects that he's at least willing to play #his part and be miserable without bitching to her about it. Like she fucking hates him but respects the commitment to the bit.#Janeys is more just like 'Just go make more kids if you want your own so damn bad. Get a wife or something. That's what I #had to do and look at me I'm doing great I'm so normal'#The two kids aren't present on the pilgrimage (back home under the care of a hired tutor) but the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides #Feeling Triangle are in a fucking tailspin over her being pregnant again like goddddd not this shit again #brakul red dog

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artemisxrose · 4 months ago

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FUCK Liam Payne! I will no longer support OT5 and I don’t even want a 1D reunion anymore. It’s so disgusting how so many of you defend these boys actions, but especially Liam, in light of everything that has come out. Maya Henry has every right to speak about her experiences. And it’s gross that I’m seeing literal threads and tweets upon tweets of people calling her a liar and saying all these horrible things. You’re proving Liam right! “No one will believe you anyways and the fans will always defend us!”

Is that not absolutely horrifying to yall? That this man is weaponizing his fanbase against women that he has treated poorly? And yall continue to enable him! Everything Maya said in her recent TikTok was true! Yall defend this abuser because of boy band nostalgia? What the fuck is wrong with some of yall? It makes me sick. It’s always “believe women” “believe victims” until it’s your fave, right?!

We don’t know these people! “He would never do that…” YOU DONT KNOW HIM! These parasocial relationships are going too far.

What’s scary is based on some of the stuff Maya said, I wonder if this is only the tip of the iceberg with Liam. He’s probably done so much shit we don’t even know about. Maybe even the other boys???

I know I’m ranting and no one probably cares but some of the tweets I saw defending Liam were so triggering and upsetting. Trending hashtags like #FreeLiam and #WeLoveYouLiam when a woman CONFIRMED that he abused her is just so sickening. This is why women don’t come forward. This is especially why victims of celebrities and people in power don’t come forward. Because this is how they’re treated. Maya literally even confirmed that Liam and his team have tried to silence her and didn’t want the book to come out. I just… there are no more words.

This whole situation is so triggering… I’m so angry and upset.

Fuck Liam Payne and Fuck all of yall defending him.

#Liam Payne #maya henry #one direction #tw abuse #if she is lying why isn’t he suing for defamation #because she’s not lying #Liam is an abuser and yall need to accept that #I will never support him again #and I’m side eyeing all of the boys who will continue to associate with him after this #there’s no way they or their teams aren’t seeing the accusations #and I’ve been feeling weird about Zayn too ever since the alleged incident with Gigi’s mom #and some women have implied some stuff about him too so I just #and apparently Niall is a cheater which we been knew #Louis and Harry have their own share of drama #the older I get the more the parasocialness is wearing off thank goodness #we don’t know these people #I wouldn’t be surprised if 5/5 are actually horrible people at this point #don’t even get me started on none of them speaking on Palestine #I could go on and on #this situation with Liam is just so messed up and fucking with me #like we knew since Maya’s book came out but still #to hear some of it from her own mouth is different kinda #the stories she could probably tell #I feel so bad for her and hope she is in a place of healing and this doesn’t set her back #end rant

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icewindandboringhorror · 9 months ago

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boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

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moe-broey · 7 months ago

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GOD I would HATE to be stuck at a family dinner with them 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I would NOT fucking survive, the vibes alone would do 1000 points poison damage to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also JUST. JUST.

THE VIBES. ARE RANCID. SHARENA DARLING YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS (ALFPNSE TOO BUT DEAR LORD. Sharena LITERALLY was just told to Don't Speak Unless Spoken To RANCID. RANCID FUCKING FAMILY)

#I SAID I WOULDN'T DOCUMEBT THE WHOLE THING. BUT COME ON #gustav hits alfonse with the 'and' 😐🤨 and if i were him i would be internally exploding instantly.#HENRIETTE HITS ALFONSE W THE 'he missed you soooooo much 😊😊😊😊😊😇😇😇' and BY GOD. IF I WERE ALFONSE #i would SHATTER. LIKE GLASS. INSTANTLY. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#my BITCHASS FUCKING BAD WHO'S BEEN SILENT TREATMENTINF ME FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG #BC I HAD THE AUDACITY TO MAKE A CHOICE?????????? BC I DARED HAVE AUTONOMY????????? FREE WILL???????#ohhhh my god and sharena. SHARENA. DARLING. BELOVED. DEAR. how have you not SNAPPED #girl if i were you this would be my villain origin story.#i mean. if. moe is anything to go by.#gooooddddddddddddd.#HELP THE TYPO IN MY TAGS.... OF 'BAD' INSTEAD OF 'DAD'....... freudian slip. but am i wrong #GOOODDDDD BUT. HAVING. EYES. THAT KNOW. EVERYTHING. THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE #INSANE!!!!!! INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc i DO ACTUALLY BELIEVE HENRIETTE NOW??? WHEN SHE SAYS THAT ABOUT GUSTAV?!?????#SHE'S. the ONLY person in the goddamn fucking WORLD. who would know this. who would be able to read this. what the FUCK #but like THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE HIM ANY BETTER...... gooooddddddd I HATE IT. HATE IT #when the love IS there it's just fucking stupid bc nobody here is normal. about anything. making an endlessly complicated situation #type of shit that has made it so i never believe that anyone genuinely likes me. type of shit that makes me never believe an 'i love you'#UNLESS. if it's from my sisters i trust them w my entire heart. but holy shit it actually took them directly stating it #AS. AN ADULT. AT THIS TIME. for me to actually believe it. and fully actually accept it.#HELP AND ALSO... EVERY TIME GUSTAV CALLS ALFPNSE 'Son.' IT'S.. SO FUNNY TO ME IDK WHY #i just read it in that one voice/cadence. of that katamari post. my gay ass son who i hate. HELP #i need to find that again hold on #but first #fe alfonse #sharena #fe henriette #fe gustav #book 3 replaying #feh

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pinewae · 3 days ago

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i don't understandd

#ok i'll rant in tags instead so the complaining is less visible #i don't get how someone could spend literally years in a fandom that gets berated due to cringe culture and even have a mindset that #cringe culture is stupid and people should enjoy what they enjoy. but then they leave the cringe fandom and #pretty much immediately revert right back to bullying and hateful behavior???? not just towards the media that supposedly changed their life #and meant so much to them but also in general their whole mindset just goes right back to the hateful one. what?!!!!#and i bet it's so easy for people to do that because of current internet culture praising and rewarding haterisms. it's so depressing #you were there!! you literally lived it and understood why it's so bad!!! and then you dumped it all to.. look cooler online. right. ok.#it happens constantly and yet still every time it completely baffles me.#yea this is about dream stans but i've been around in countless 'cringe' fandoms it's always the same #it's likely a situation of getting bullied and becoming a bully/joining the bullies to feel more in control or to #take out the hurt and anger on easy 'acceptable' targets. sooo lame.#and god forbid you point this out to them. never do that. it just makes them angrier. you can't reason with hatred y'all #i will be niceys despite it all

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cs-oc-blank-random-posts · 4 months ago

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there's a message for someone in the tags

(aimed/tw)

#if you plan on talking bad about me #atleast tell them about what you did.#if you plan in telling everyone how “awful” i am #let me remind you that im not the one who convinced the other that the relationship was normal.#infact i was the one who kept insisting that it was wrong #only thing i did wrong was the fact that i listened to you.#i've moved on from the past events but what you said about me and what you could be telling others about me is implanted in my mind.#i know you said sorry but i never had the heart to accept it. because what you called me was extreme.#i never even met you in real life and you say that about me? that i did that to you??#tell everyone whatever aslong as it's true. im not scared to admit that i've had my wrongs because im no saint in the situation.#but don't you dare pretend like i was the only one who's wrong.#yes you did what you did out of anger. but i always kept mine to myself. im angry but i never told anyone lies about you like you've done.#im genuinely angry and i need to get this out. atleast when im angry i don't spread lies that could harm a person's life #i literally could go to prison because of what you said that never even happened.#whether or not you get this' i still need to get it out #don't you ever speak about me in any way shape or form.#the only times i've ever talked about you was when i had to state my truth on what you perceived.#you don't have the right to say anything about me after the lies you've said #do not bring down my name just to lift yours up.

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angorwhosebabyisthis · 10 months ago

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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]

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"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.

Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.

I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #pericky #ricky owens #professor pericles #anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die #i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did #the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late #ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world #(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong #his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together #'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more #and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all #ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally #....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him #he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control #there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore #it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much #(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things #whosebaby writes #SDMItag #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

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seventh-district · 29 days ago

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sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.

and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.

and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.

and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.

#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please #music stuff #you should’ve seeeeen it in cooolllloor #Seven.txt #Seven’s Public Diary #normal Sunday night behavior #me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#i’ve been at this since new years and i’m only like. halfway done. Gods help me #like i don’t mean ‘cleaning’ as in doing some light dusting. i mean there’s junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling #when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it #but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says they’re from March of last year lmao #i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadn’t drawn any bugs #and oddly enough hadn’t even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didn’t open them up for a smell test i just chucked ‘em in my giant trash bag #i’m finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but it’s also distracting me like those pictures did #i’ll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow #and ur probably like ‘u found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didn’t you immediately recognize ur own mom’#and 1. there’s countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/don’t recognize and never even met #and 2. i’ve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind #and it just fucked me up bc. i don’t look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. i’m turning into him #and i fucking hate it so much. i don’t like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shan’t rest until i’m satisfied #well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why it’s taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i #it’s not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation #so i’m trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough #my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that i’ll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box #i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally don’t know if i’ll have anyone capable of helping me #so it might not even happen and it’ll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 3 months ago

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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

#blue chatter #they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity #I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit #and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned #I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will #I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me #uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight #and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need #to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told #that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily #even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though #I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right #which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing #I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was #definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.

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fingertipsmp3 · 12 days ago

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Next time I wake up in the middle of the night I’m actually not going back to sleep. Because why did those extra 2.5 hours I got contain the most bizarre storyline ever

#okay i don’t remember all the details unfortunately but here goes #for whatever reason i’d signed up for my house to be used as like a b&b sort of thing by military guys coming back from missions #not all of them would stay the night but they would come by; usually just one or two at a time; and i would fix them a drink #and they’d take a shower and get changed and get their bearings and stuff. so. most of the guys coming through; i didn’t feel any type #of way about. even the ones who’d flirt with me. but there was this one guy.. he was 6’10; about 40 years old and bald as an egg #and i was Madly in love with him even though (probably because) he never gave me the time of day. i mean he was polite but he was always #on the phone (like talking on the phone) and he’d pretty much use my bathroom and leave. i was always offering him tea and coffee #and he’d just say ‘no thank you’. he didn’t even accept water from me. i was like wow okay #anyway this one night there’s 2 guys there; the guy i liked plus a younger guy who was objectively better looking #and there was also a woman. and it’s getting pretty late and the guy i like asks if i have any alcohol and i’m like ohhhh so i’ve been #offering him the wrong drinks this whole time. so i open my alcohol cupboard and there’s just like Way more alcohol in there #than there usually is. i mean like right now i can tell you there’s disaronno; curaçao; vodka tasters and a bottle of white wine #but in my dream there was like a whole ass liquor store in there essentially. so i’m like ‘i swear i’m not an alcoholic’ and everyone’s #laughing at me. and they decide to do shots of fireball whiskey (which i don’t own and have never tried) and everyone but me is coughing #and complaining. my shot doesn’t taste bad to me. again this does not assuage anyone’s belief that i am a covert alcoholic #i don’t remember a lot of details about what went down from here because the dream transitioned to someone trying to murder me #and i couldn’t figure out who it was but every time they killed me i was able to turn back time and get out of the situation? i think?#it was reminiscent of final destination but if instead of a big disaster; you just foresaw your own death. but not who caused it #it was very weird. at one point my childhood dog was there protecting me #i do remember i ended up dating the younger of the two military guys who was staying at my house; and i was very suspicious that his dad was #the person trying to kill me. i think i ended up chasing him down and he accidentally died by running into traffic #but the visions didn’t stop so then i ended up figuring out my own mother was the person trying to kill me #i do remember the ending of the dream was me marrying the 6’10 bald guy after successfully stealing him from his girlfriend #by sending him a letter in some weird code. i was convinced i’d cracked the code to speaking every language on earth #like i’d absorbed the tower of babel or rosetta stone or something. but i hadn’t. i’d just sent him a letter with every word in a different #language. for some reason this won him over #personal

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quaalussy · 1 year ago

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yesterday i had my last appointment w the therapist ive been seeing for almost two years who p much pulled me out of the pits of hell and went above and beyond for me and it was rly bittersweet. she's moving practices and the new place doesnt take my insurance but i honestly was starting to feel like i dont need therapy anymore so it was good timing. we were reflecting on my progress and like. if i think back too much im gonna sob but i never thought i would get this far in life & in fixing my brain and im proud of myself and grateful for accidentally ending up w the best therapist ive ever had

#obvs a lot of privilege involved in my situation but the change in my mindset is def a Thing #like when i was at my worst i felt so helpless and would just roll over and accept all the shitty things in my life cause i felt like #i couldnt change anything or like i deserved bad things #and now i get out of shitty situations when i can. and i try to fix what i can #even at the beginning of this year i was like i'll Never Ever come out its impossible #and last week i fuckin did it #and guess what i lived bitch #i Do It Scared now

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straightyuri · 7 months ago

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gritting my teeth. barooon. I'm so fucking mad about baron's game 4ever. I'm so interested in baron. please. baron from the baronies you will always me famous to ME

#walks in circles. I want to know what those cards said cuz I can't figure out if it was just lou improving or if the cards specified #the "you're a bad friend'' stuff. I assume the latter because it would make so much sense with the whole. but ??? I will never know.#unless they say it #I dunnooo I think the line abt the place being both a safe haven and a death trap was really interesting.#I dont think baron itself has any like. specifically malice against riz. Just a reflection of his fears and doubts #kind of like the joke with ecaf. gives back the energy it's being given. but specifically in relation to fears and doubts #it's obvious by now that doubt can be a helpful tool. let you get away from a situation that is hurting you cuz you stop and question it et #and then like. fear is presented as the extreme of doubt with the nightmareking stuff. but also just normal doubt itself can lean into #something unhelpful and hurtful to both you and the people around you.#AND IT WILL NEVER BE EXPLOREDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#unless the universe loves me and they make a senior year n include baron or somethingggg. I would accept a oneshot.

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doveboycreature · 7 months ago

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Everything I do is a desperate attempt to assert autonomy. Everything I do is an attempt to transcend the animal that I am. I will kill myself before I accept the mundane. Let me out! I'm suffocating! I'm suffocating! I don't want to wait again! I never want to wait again!

#someone save me from this life I'm living.#I feel like I'll never find any kind of fullfillment or happiness unless I leave myself behind.#text #vent #my situation is genuinely not bad at all I just can't accept not being allowed to live the kind of life I want

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pepprs · 1 year ago

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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

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moesartblog · 1 year ago

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#I just saw a post that pissed me off #it is so frustrating seeing posts complaining about lesbians being ‘forced’ to have sex with men #like I’m so sorry but uh lesbians lesbians and men have been sucking and fucking men particularly queer men since time in memoriam #and that doesn’t make them not lesbians and doesn’t mean they were necessarily forced to do it eaither #and this is not talking about the cases where that does happen #queer people of all sorts fuck and date and it will not fit into a neat box that makes you feel good every time #I hate the rising of Porto terf/radfem/transphobia rhetoric and the gender essentialism shit #sorry I’m rambling this is frustrating #also how fuckibg insensitive to bring of conversion therapy in relation to lesbians and gay men fucking each other consentually holy fuck #obviously if someone is being a fucking pushy ass and saying all lesbians should fuck men that’s awful and that person should be shunned #but I see these reactions to people just gleefully talking about the messy queer relationships they have or want to have or see #and people who do the whole nmlnm bullshit getting their emotions in a bungle #if you don’t like these opinions of mine please feel free to leave and block me #this may have not been coherent at points and is definitely vague posting about a specific post but it bothered me so much #forgot to mention the biphobia in it too #also I wanted to make it clear the cases where lesbians are pressured into sex with people they don’t wanna have sex with is Bad like it is #never EVER acceptable and the people who promote that need to be strung up #but this is not about those situations

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