#like my dude i am having the time of my life not

[bumblingbeezzz]

I agree more with the insight that they basically just wanted a situation where they thought they could be important. The shooting POC thing is a bit of a wild leap. Like, there's some overlap, but I really think those traits are not connected to a desire for a post-apocalyptic world. We're talking about dudes who watched the Walking Dead and thought it made for good vacation plans from the drudge of average modern life. Okay, admittedly I was somewhat in that ballpark at one point. Never been the least bit conservative, but in my fantasies I found the idea of living in apocalyptic scenarios to be thrilling. Terrifying af (zombies are one of my worst fears), but thrilling. I liked the idea of having surplus resources to just go out and gather in pre-processed and pre-packaged form for free, enjoying the empty liminal spaces of abandoned places, and eventually just starting civilization over from scratch. Not because I thought there was anything so wrong with the world that it needed to be scrapped Biblical-flood style (other than feeling generally overcrowded and thinking about the taxing effect of every person's carbon footprint on the environment) I just, well I don't know really, I probably never truly wanted it because I never liked the idea of huge amounts of people dying, and I'm sure being in survival mode all the time would've gotten old pretty quick and I'd miss being able to chill with all the glory of modern conveniences. Part of the supposed appeal was definitely seeing various characters fail so badly at surviving because of really basic failures of common sense and safety, I guess it had that weird effect on me that I was eager to try and do better. Go figure. I am wiser now, hopefully obviously. If faced with that outcome, I'd probably kill myself pretty early on, maybe right off the bat, just to avoid a more horrific death. Or maybe I'd try for a bit, see how long I last, I dunno. Maybe I'd make some friends, help them stay alive. People who, just four Sundays ago, were going to movie theaters and posting on their socials, posting pictures of themselves in their new favorite outfit. Now are spattered with dried blood and mud, they wear slings and pouches, make-shift armor of plastic tubing and duct-tape. People who've been hardened and weathered the way the sun dries leather; by the choices they've had to make, the losses they've endured, and the emotional armor the've had to construct to adapt to this unforgiving new world. Well, it's definitely something more suited to exploring in fiction.

[andcars]

# 𝗠𝗩𝟯𝟯 ─── GAMER MOMENTS MASTERLIST⠀REQUEST ME⠀TAGLIST⠀PATREON GUIDE⠀AO3

YOU'RE A MINECRAFT STREAMER and get in contact with some new guys. one of them won't stop bullying you. it's kinda silly how he acts like he's being subtle that he's trying to flirt with you.

TAGS. . . # fluff, bullying as flirting, pining max verstappen, 'oblivious' reader, minecraft streamers

FIC STYLE. . . # social media au (instagram chats, tweets)

zsync

ty FSMP for having me. that being said, hopefull i didn't give too much of a bad impression to some of ya'll....

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stellaroit i MISSED A ZSYNC STREAM?!?!?

orrifices RIP it was a funny stream

stellaroit what happened the vod isn't out yet

rudemi played minecraft in a new friend group and just decided to cause chaos towards this other streamer the entire time

angeleles who the hell is this lion33 dude and why did he have to hog all the wheat

divissx CHAT THE FURNACE IS NOT FURNACING!! highlight of the stream

lion33 mate i need u to leave the smp

albonono You're just jealous she got all the diamonds in the main island

lion33 completely unrelated

zsync (i'm not) sorry max

ynpng

chat i am not washed at minecraft

liked by alexalbono, georgerussell and 219 others

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georgerussell Disagree

ynpng like i ASKED

alexalbono Slay

alexalbono Btw why're u off priv do u know that

ynpng yessir

alexalbono Suspicious

alexalbono Are you joining the server soon. Max is annoying me

ynpng stop hogging my comments + maybe idk i'm still bitter abt him killing my cows

lion33

appreciate @ albonono for letting me on his stream. i do have his password now btw

liked by albonono, grussell, zsync and 13,611 others

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zsync WAS THAT WHY ALEX WAS JUST MUTED THE ENTIRE TIME?? IT WAS YOU??

lion33 lol

albonono @ zsync he was enjoying receiving flowers from you too much

lion33 your base? exploded.

shouula i love having a pov of max smiling like an idiot when yn was treating him like alex (aka kindly)

vrikrik real. yn is living the y/n life. what i would do to make him smile like that

albonono If u wanted to flirt do it on your own stream I literally went to piss

lion33 ???

massuech dude this is the weirdest softlaunch ever

zsync @ zsyncc · 28 October i'm never playing this game again

141 replies 881 reposts 1.8k likes

Max V @ lion33 · 28 October — Replying to @ zsyncc ur being dramatic lol my house was griefed i needed somewhere to stay 41 replies 331 likes

mia 🕸 @ webberstrr · 28 October — Replying to @ lion33 just say you wanted to put your beds together in minecraft and leave 2 replies 6 likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October so we agree that max and yn were flirting the entire thing right

14 replies 7 reposts 63 likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October — Replying to @ eeves1 i don't like rpf but it is kinda funny how max was goading yn on like a kindergarten with a crush 3 replies 7 likes

zsync

my beautiful house before it was INVADED BY THE DUTCH (also here's the mirmir bath pics ya'll begged for)

liked by albonono, grussell , lion33 and 7,742 others

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pineeapper KITTYYY

lion33 you could've just said no

zsync would u have taken no as an answer?

lion33 no haha this is what u get for stealing my diamonds

littelorrenst chaotic stream as always

piapastry no one else gonna question the weird domesticity of her and max? no? ok

albonono Why're you reposting the mirmir pics from your "priv" account

zsync because i can

lion33 what? u have a priv?

Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng 142 followers · 521 posts

lion33 this isn't private lmao

ynpng no i just took it off priv for a bit

lion33 oh. ok btw like do u wanna film something tgt soon

ynpng yea sure why not

lion33 cool cool yea friday?

ynpng sure

lion33 shared a location

ynpng huh

lion33 where we can meet. alex told me you live near me so

ynpng wait omfg i thought u meant like stream

lion33 oh it's ok if u want it to be just a stream like minecraft or smthn

ynpng no no its okay. i need new vid on my main yt anyways

lion33 u sure? lol it's ok if u dont wanna film irl w me

ynpng stop being such a hard ass maxy. i say yes to filming

lion33 cool. thanks btw i really like ur videos 👍

zsync

causing chaos in the toy store in my new video. thank you @ lion33 for featuring and being my slave for the day

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wiiredxs never thought id get to see max doing an irl vlog willingly

hamiston who messed with the timeline why am i seeing max and yn tgt

vrikrik RIGHT like max flew a plane just to film this video 😭 they live in diff continents

lion33 sighs

albonono Your flirting technique sucks

lion33 shut the fuck up

orrifices am i delusional is this not the equivalent to teasing ur friend over his crush

grussell Yn, I hope you're seeing this

zsync seeing what

grussell Crikey...

Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng

georgerussell I don't wanna be the bearer of news... But Max has a crush on you

ynpng that's crazy dawg

georgerussell Okay I need some more reaction than that Me and the guys' GC have been talking about it ever since the first FSMP stream

ynpng whattttttt he's whatttttttt

georgerussell What in the Have you like known this the entire time

ynpng George. The man is a Monaco based streamer. I do not live in Monaco. He told me that Alex said we live near each other. I can kinda tell when people have a crush...

georgerussell And that's just your reaction!? I still expected something!

ynpng ill give u a reaction if he does something more obvious in the next stream

zsync @ zsyncc · 8 November fsmp birthday stream 2nite y'all. wish me bday luck i need netherite

568 replies 7k reposts 12.9k likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 8 November alright are we ever going to talk about how max (and im entirely sure it's max) put netherites in yn's chest like that was so cute...

27 replies 142 reposts 628 likes

♠ | FIO @ butt3fl1es · 8 November WHY DID I ENTER THE STREAM TO MAX MAXPLAINING ABOUT MONACO BOYS NOT BEING FUCKBOYS!?!?

WHAT IS HE YAPPING ABT

16 replies 7 reposts 88 likes

#33 @ quetoii · 8 November someone needs to tell max his cam is still on everyone can see him giggling after yn thanked him for his gift

23 replies 98 reposts 218 likes

dumb blonde moment @ jaccalps · 8 November — Replying to @ quetoii it's his fault anyways like no one streams minecraft w their cam on for maximum laziness

2 replies 6 likes

ynpng 🔒

@ lion33 thanks for the present! and you, I guess. but seriously, you need like better courting skills. my nephew could do way better than you and he's 3yo

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alexalbono I'm sorry, courting!?

ynpng if bullying me counts as courting yeah

georgerussell ... No one won the bet

lion33 this is why you don't start a bet

georgerussell Mate, no one expected you to try and get with her like two weeks when you first met

ynpng ok to clarify, we are not dating. he's funny and he's rich so im letting him try

layladook girl whyre you a red flag 😭

lion33 my fave color has always been red

🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . ok so i decided to do like my tweets as the text so it was easier for me to make this + less images uploaded. feel free to tell me if it's better or bad from how i used to do it before. anyways this was funny to write. i love minecraft. i love that max loves minecraft. it's just a bunch of tomfoolery around here also, my birthday is actually on the 8th so lil easter egg lmao ˎˊ˗ ᝰ.

──── 📨 @delululeclerc @hiireadstuff @bicchaan @fallingforpvris @rtorresblog @tribbisweetdear @jamie2305 @mv1simp

you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Theo: What if they hate me?

Gabriel: Then I guess we’ll die-

Theo: Now why would you say that?

Gabriel: I’m joking. You’ll be okay! Swear, they’re like the most unserious people ever. 

Theo: Are you joking? They look pretty serious. I’m freaking intimidated!

Gabriel: What can I say? My friends are pretty cool. Ares is a cutie. Gum is well, Gum. 

Gum: What am I?

Gabriel: NOTHIN! 

Gum: Hmm… I’m watching you. Hi, you must be Theo!

Theo: Nice to meet you guys. 

Ares: Dude, I feel like you picked the wrong place to get to know your friend. 

Gabriel: It’s perfect! 

Ares: It’s loud. I mean, can you hear us alright?

Theo: Honestly, not really but it’s FINE! I’ve never been to a bar like this. 

Gum: Cherry’s great. Lots of great memories. Ah. 

Gabriel: By memories, she means all the girls she kissed.

Gum: Seriously?

Gabriel: [ chuckles ] What?

Gum: You’re buying the first round of drinks for that. 

Gabriel: Fine! 

Ares: [ signs ] You alright?

Theo: [ mouths ] You know how to sign?

Ares: [ outloud ] My parents had me learn a language in school. God, I still can��t believe him-

Theo: It’s alright! I’m allowed to enjoy this!

Ares: Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-

Theo: [ laughs ] I know what you meant. Love this song by the way! 

Gum: Me too! Come on, let’s all go dance!

-

Carlos: Gabriel! How’ve you been, man?

Gabriel: Doin’ good, you?

Carlos: Awesome! Garret and I are buying a home.

Gabriel: Holy shit man, congrats! You still gonna be around?

Carlos: Yep! So what can I get you?

Gabriel: Hmm. Four shots of Patron, please?

Carlos: I gotchu.

Gabriel: At a bar with no drink?

?: Oh! Yeah, uh, that’s a bit weird, isn’t it? 

Carlos: Be nice, she’s one of my regulars.

Gabriel: I will! Just curious. Are you here alone? 

?: [ abruptly ] Yes. Why?

Gabriel: Seems lonesome. No offense to Carlos keepin’ ya company here.

Carlos: Dude!

Gabriel: I’ve never seen you around. 

?: I usually stay hidden. 

Gabriel: Ah, so you like to observe. Being a wallflower’s cool and all but you could always experience something new.

?: What do you have in mind?

Gabriel: A few ideas of the fun sort. Interested?

?: Kali. My name is Kali. 

-

Gum: Y-you didn’t!

Gabriel: I did!

Gum: Oh my god, I can’t with you.

Gabriel: [ giggles ] Well I had a great time.

Theo: Wow. They’re pretty wasted. 

Ares: Oh, this is nothing, you should have seen them on this guy’s twenty-first birthday.

Theo: I can imagine.

Ares: Gabriel tells me you’re new to San My, have you always been a fan of the city?

Theo: I’ve always been curious. I love getting to know people but the people back home, well, you can only get to know so much when your town is pretty small.

Ares: That’s so fascinating though, I feel like my life has been surrounded by plenty of people.

Theo: Is that so?

Ares: Mhm, my family is really big into the music industry so we’ve gotten to know a lot of artists.

Theo: That’s so cool!

Ares: Yeah. What do you do Theo?

Theo: I am a dancer. Nothing wild. I’m just an extra in Cirque Felicity at the casino. I teach classes part time at this studio. 

Ares: Holy shit. Anything specific you specialize in?

Theo: Ballet. I’d love to do a serious show but I highly doubt I’d be casted in anything.

Ares: Why not?

Theo: There’s… Just a particular build people have in mind when it comes to who plays what. 

Ares: Hmm, well the city’s great for advocating change. My bet is you could choreograph your own show.

Theo: That’s not a bad idea. 

-

Theo: It was nice talking to you Ares.

Ares: Likewise, Theo. Night.

[floorworm]

OMGG I AM ALSO SO SCARED OF NEEDLES DUDE.

When I was like 10 my parents got really worried bc they thought I might have lyme disease, so I had to get a lumbar puncture to check my spinal fluid. Now for adultsbI think lumbar punctures hurt a bit and then you should lie down for a few hours. For kids, for ME at the time..

Two weeks of bedrest ensued, the worst migraines of my LIFE, and a new and permanent fear of needles.

All this in the middle of my summer vacation, all this for the test to come back negative. I WAS FINE. I WAS NEVER SICK. I NEEDN'T HAVE HAD THE LUMBAR PUNCTURE

Moral of the story is feel bad for me bc I lost a lot of my summer that year

@i-have-41-protons @avataroftheglowcloud @nevermo0r and freak it, open tags I want anyone to join‼️

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[willsimpforanyone]

Hello! I'm not sure if you are taking requests right now, but I'd you are could you do something with a daughter of medusa who us almost or fully blind and everyone avoids her except for percy who has a crush on her? Can end however ypu would like :).

And remember to take of yourself and drink water!!! ❤️

thank u my lovely <3 hope u enjoy

i do have bad vision but i am not blind, so i apologise for inaccuracies,

-----------------------------

medusa was blessed with a daughter

gorgeously thick, curly hair, strong as hell, brought up by your mother as best she could

she was so happy when you opened your eyes as a baby and no one you looked at turned to stone

her curse was not yours!

it only took a moment for her to realise her curse had a different effect on you

you were not cursed, but as a side effect of being medusa's child, you were almost completely blind

growing up, you never realised there was anything too different about you

why would you? your mother raised you and she kept her eyes covered most of the time, she knew how to live as a blind woman in a seeing world

things got worse as you got older, and around 10 years old is when it got really bad

the monsters were relentless, and even medusa hiding you away didn't seem to help with the nightmares

so, when you were 12, she brought you to the camp

chiron was hesitant, but knew you meant no harm - you were a scared, lonely kid, like so many others before you

kinda for the first time, you were interacting with people who could see

it wasn't hard to guess who your mother was, and apparently that was enough for the other kids to reject you immediately

you learned to wear sunglasses or some kind of fabric over your eyes, otherwise some kid would start screaming

the first couple years of teenhood were rough

of course. you learned to live with it

you learned to become incredibly spacially aware, to be able to walk into a room and know exactly how many people there were and where they were standing

there were some kids who were alright, some from the athena cabin were civil despite their mom being the one who cursed yours

occasionally, though, there was a kid called percy

a son of posiden, who you were suitably wary enough of (again, considering the story)

he came to camp a little before you did, and was off on a quest when you actually arrived

it was an odd introduction

"hi, i'm percy, i kinda killed your mom"

you had shrugged, fingers still trailing over the book in front of you

"i know. she sent me an iris message from the underworld. it's not the first time someone's killed her, she'll be back in a few days"

the silence that followed was one of awkward expectation, and you snorted a laugh. "dude, chill out, i don't care anymore"

he'd hesitantly accepted your acceptance and had left, and you'd thought that would be the end of it

to your surprise, he would come back and talk

a friendship blossomed over the next couple years, something that was new to you

you genuinely liked him

he didn't ask questions about being blind all the time, he didn't scream when your sunglasses slipped down your nose, he seemed to automatically let you know what he was doing and where he was in your space

with him came grover, the somewhat nervous satyr who calmed down once annabeth, percy's other friend, slapped the back of his head when he asked if your hair was just a bunch very thin snakes

this was more friends than you'd had in your life, and it was kind of incredible

annabeth got some books in greek braille, and together you discovered that it was easier for you to read - the ancient greek hardwire was still very much present in your brain, even if you couldn't see the letters

percy, however, went the extra mile every time

every activity you were hesitant about, he was right there with you, describing the new areas, offering to help but never touching you or giving advice unless you asked first

any time something changed with the camp, whether it was a part of the forest or the layout of the camp itself, he'd go with you to explore the differences to change the mental map you had in your head

late nights were reserved for sitting together around a campfire, maybe with grover and annabeth, maybe not

but they were a time for you to ask questions instead

what colour were the new swords? what does bronze look like? is the red of the strawberries as sweet as they taste?

he would answer as best he can, trying to explain from every angle, like trying not to use other colours to explain another colour

one night, in your fourth year of camp, you got up the courage to ask him the question you'd been wanting to ask him forever

"percy? what do i look like?"

there was a pause, and you knew he had turned to look at you by the rustling of his hair

...a minute passes, and you shift in your seat

"you don't have to tell me, it's fine, forget i asked-"

"no!"

he interrupts you, blurting out a protest a little louder than he intended

he continues, clearing his throat

"no, i just- would it be okay if you took your sunglasses off? so i can give you the best description?"

in answer, you slipped off your sunglasses, hanging them in the neck of your t-shirt

all you could see was a faint warm, orange-yellow glow from the fire

percy takes a breath

"okay, here goes- you're beautiful. i-i know that isn't much but... you look warm. like the feeling of coming back to our cabin at the end of a really good day, tired but happy, and everything is quiet and calm and cosy and you know you're gonna sleep so good. you look like sunsets over the sea, like someone has managed to set the horizon on fire but, y'know. less dangerous than setting fire to things."

you laugh, subconsciously leaning against his shoulder with your heart trying to keep pace with the butterflies in your stomach

"yeah? i look warm?"

his voice is almost a whisper

"right now, yeah. the firelight is reaching out over the grass to touch you, preferring to have you warm than the trees around us. if we were regular teenagers, we could be telling scary stories"

i rest my hand, palm up, on his knee, a silent way of telling him to give me his hand

he does so, and i link our fingers together tightly, a 'thank you' that we don't need to hear

"percy?"

"yeah?"

"what do you look like right now?"

another pause, and he squeezes my fingers gently

"i think... right now, i look like i'm completely in love with you"

my head lifts from his shoulder, head turned to him as if i need to hear him better, like we aren't side to side, holding hands

"you... what?"

he breathes a shaky laugh, and i feel his hand move to pause just over my cheek

"sorry, that wasn't a great description, but i couldn't think of anything else to say. can i put my hand on your cheek?"

slowly, i nod, feeling his warm palm settle against my skin, his thumb brushing over my cheek

"please say no if you don't want me to," he whispers, voice nervous but also filled with hope

"but can i please kiss you?"

i don't need to be able to see to know how big he smiles when i say "yes"

------------------------

i hope that was okay? i tried my best, if anyone has an issue with it or wants me to correct something, let me know!

[fuck-customers]

This was a couple of decades ago when I worked in sales, let’s say for an electronics company or appliance company or something similar to that. We had an older gentleman come in and he wanted to buy some high end stuff and quite a bit of it, so we were more than willing to help him out. Things started getting out of hand with him pretty quickly though. He was starting to demand that during the delivery and installation we would do stuff above and beyond what we could do because what he was asking for was against corporate policy. When we started to explain some of this to him he was all “You don’t know who I am, do you?” and he started to tell us that he used to be the ceo of a global company that I’ll leave unnamed. Think something big like energy, tech, or media. A company that has products in almost every household. He was telling us how corporate policies are all about lawyers and accountants and he doesn’t give a damn about that kind of stuff. If anything went wrong he wouldn’t hold anyone accountable and we could take him for his word. He said he used to make multimillion dollar deals on the golf course or over dinner with nothing more than handshakes and promises of phone calls over the next week to further hash things out.

We all thought this man was full of shit but he was willing to spend a lot of money, so we just let him keep on talking while we figured out ways to talk him down from his unrealistic expectations. It felt like a hostage negotiation. From time to time he would go on tangents and give us his “insider knowledge” about this company or that. It was all far from insider knowledge. It was everyday stuff that could easily be learned by reading Forbes or The Wall Street Journal.

I was the main salesperson and his first point of contact so I talked to him the most. He talked foul and looked completely disheveled. Everything about him and the whole interaction was the exact opposite of the types of corporate businessmen I was used to dealing with. I was starting to think we were getting conned. After about two long and painful hours the sale was completed and payments went through, much to my surprise. While a lot of equipment needed to be delivered, I volunteered to load the stuff we had on hand into his car. When we got out to the parking lot I saw that his car was a busted up and rusted out relic from the mid ‘80s. I thought that there was no way an ex-ceo of a global company would be driving something so crappy. I was convinced that he was just taking us for a ride for God know’s what reason.

When I got home from work that night I googled his name. Lo and behold there he was with photographs and articles. Tons of them. Not only was he who he said he was, he actually downplayed his career. I printed out some of the articles to take into work the next day. My boss, my coworkers, and I went over them, just dumb struck. We just couldn’t believe it. This complete asshole was exactly who he said he was. We ended up calling the installers to give them a heads up and warn them that they were probably be going to deal with one of the most difficult customers they’d see that year.

We never saw him again. On the one hand we were happy because none of us wanted to deal with him again. On the other hand we were kind of disappointed. He spent money without even trying.

I believed he was who he said he was before you said you looked him up.

The really rich people (worth billions) will drive a thirty year old car, wear clothes decades out of date, and expect a lot of things "extra" on everything they do buy. That's how they stay rich. The CEO of our company is still using a flip phone and came to our meeting (when I was still in corporate) in jeans and a t-shirt. And that dude is worth billions.

The showoff's (flashy car, new phone/bag/shoes) either are millionaires that will not be rich their whole life. Or celebrities/influencer's that need to have that image of wealth.

At least that's my experience in retail corporate and working security for the mouse.

-Rodney

[thefusioncelestial]

Mix 2 - The Lifeguard Collective

Here I am.

A strapping young lad. Fresh out of High School. Ready for the next phase of my life. Everything else set for me, except one issue.

Sure I looked great now, but what would I look like in 10 years? How many photos of wildly out of shape dudes in their 40 & even 30's have I seen who also showed photos of looking similar to me when they were my age? For most, diet & exercise were key. Some blast steroids, get plastic surgery. Others accept the lost of aesthetics, beauty, & possible health as a reward for surviving so long, and accepted the touches of age.

On the same token, I would be inclined towards the natural route, but that would entail a life of extreme restriction, a commitment to a series of gyms that could be better used in building & having a social life.

Pushing these thoughts away, I head to the beach to enjoy some sunlight in idyllic settings.

I am on the boardwalk enjoying some lime sea salt ice cream when I encountered a lifeguard relaxing on some guard rails. He didn't have his whistle, so perhaps he was on break or simply off duty? How did I even know of his profession?

Scanning for his whistle also made me note his figure. He was built & cut at the same time. How many bulk & cut cycles did he go through? Or did he take the shortcut of the syringe?

Some people would be aroused when encountering such a person. Let's be honest, 60% of the reason we go to the beach is to size up other people's figures. But for me this time, it brought back the issues of how I plan on handling my life style going forward. Sure, I was nicely cut for my age, but how much of that was due to puberty? And puberty doesn't last forever.

I quickly get back to walking & get away from his vicinity. His presence was distracting & bringing back complicated thoughts. This was the beach, I am here for mindless fun.

In my rush to get away, I didn't notice that he noticed me, and as I got further away, he turned his head towards me, keeping his sunglass covered gazed locked on me. And once I got off the boardwalk on to the beach sand, he got up from his leaning position against the rails, and began to follow me.

Soon, I was in the water with maybe 20-30 feet of ocean below me. Look, I am a good swimmer. I can float. After relaxing in the sea for 20 minutes, I notice a presence behind me. It was the lifeguard from earlier! Did I do something or break some rules? I'll find out soon enough.

"I have a solution to your life's problems."

I floated in confusion.

"What you are talking about?!" I waddled a little further away from him.

"You worry about losing your youth, of growing old & all that entails. I can give you eternal youth. I just need your consent to impart it to you." He moves closer.

On one hand, this is weird. Some stranger offers me something that generations of explorers & scientists have been trying to achieve... just like that? He could be the richest person in the world with such a powerful secret.

"Why offer one of life's greatest gifts to a stranger like me?" For some reason I move a little closer to him.

"I was not always like this, this secret to enteral youth was given to me long ago by the previous possessor. I wish to continue the tradition."

"Again why me?"

"We are...compatible. Our brain waves operate on similar frequencies for one, a sure sign, how else would I know about how you are feeling. How eternal youth would fix the turmoil you feel inside. Just say yes."

What could happen? A Tv crew could show up and this all revealed to be a prank. Or maybe he just wants to sell me on some fitness coach services. "...Yes".

He smiled. He moved to closer to me, like in my personal space close. "You just got to say goodbye to everything else. Welcome to the collective."

Before I could fully process what he was saying, he grabbed me with a strong grip, too strong for someone in water, and pulled me towards him. He pulled me down into the water, and head first pushed me against his stomach, against his abs.

But rather than drowning, I moved passed his skin or into it? As if to let out a protest I let out a loud muffled noise and tried to push against the sucking motion that his body was generating. Did none of the other beach goers see this? Was I about to die? Maybe death was the eternal youth: Die young.

Nothing I did worked. My head was fully submerged in his abs & unbeknownst to me, everything of mine head inside him was broken down into their base materials. Somehow I was still conscious. The weirdest thing was that I was aroused. My member was fully erect, but I never came during this process. Once my head was submerged and broken down, the rest of me followed.

As my body was being sucked in and absorbed, the life guard cocked his head back and moaned. Eyes were closed. His was in a T-pose, almost frozen. As more and more of my body was sucked in, he was twitching. My mass, my dna, and everything else was flowing through his body life he was taking in water like a sponge.

Soon there was nothing left of me. Even my skin was broken down. With me inside of him, his dna latched on to mine. It adjusted itself to take in the traits it liked, and passed the changes to the rest of his body. He began to morph.

His first change was his waist. It expanded so that he went from a V to more of an H & he grew a little taller. Apparently, had I went through all of my puberty changes, I would have become taller. And now that potential was his. His abdominals straightened out as well, ready to give him an 8 or 10 pack if he wished.

The skin became a bit more supple. His vascularity was still there, but not so in the face. His neck got a little smaller, but kept his neck height. But my biggest influence on his being was in the face.

Mentally, I was in a strange place. I was clearly moving, and moving in a certain direction. Around me were small white lights whooshing past me at high speeds in a dark place. Past me and through me, but they didn't affect me. As I was traveling to who knows where, I take note of my condition. Here I was naked, all in my glory. I noticed something up ahead.

I came closer, there was shape giving off a pale light, but the features would come into view as I got closer. It was a giant brain, and I was about to smash into it! I tried everything in my power to change directions or stop, but nothing worked. And soon I landed. But it didn't hurt. Just as I was about to get myself together and figure this out, I was sinking into the brain. That's right, I was absorbed by that lifeguard!

And as I remembered how I got here. Knowledge began to flood into my brain. I understood now what I agreed to.

This lifeguard was a gesalt being. Every decade it finds a new person to assimilate and grow stronger. It had been doing this since the first indigenous peoples first arrived at these shores. It was worshiped as an god who would protect the people from the dangers of the sea in return for a sacrifice of one of their warriors every once in a while. Initially, this was at first once a century, but the influence & introduction of other peoples has led to it desiring change more often. And at the same time, the introduction of Christianity has led to it being forgotten, so it has taken up vigil as an lifeguard. At this beach, no one has ever drowned thanks to it. I have been chosen to become a part of this being.

The current name for this being: Brian.

The rest of my metaphysical body was sucked in completely. Only I wasn't broken down. I came to an idyllic city. It was clean for one. Checking the area, it was populated by other dudes enjoying their lives. Some looked at me and nodded, bidding me welcome. And yet, as a result of joining this gesalt, this hivemind, I knew what was going on. This was Brian's mind, and also where he stored our minds. In return for using our bodies to upgrade himself, and to access our knowledge, we would live within him in an perfect mental space.

Understanding him a lot more the moment I was sucked into his mind, or perhaps as a part of his abilities to calm us, I accepted my fate and lived among the others who also made up of his being.

The moment I joined his mind, his face began to contort. My facial features took over his, he looked exactly like me only in a more mature way, and his hair became blond with a curly fringe. He opened his eyes and our merger was complete. The rest of my mass that didn't get converted to muscle, blood, ect was transformed into magical energy, and his powers expanded by a little bit.

All that was left was my clothing which was just some beach shorts. Brian grabbed them and swirled them against his, and they merged. For some reason two beach shorts merged into underwear. No matter.

After getting out of the water and on to the board walk, Brian stood there to bask in his new form. He was quite satisfied.

A couple of people passed by & blushed at my form. Time to get some appropriate clothing. I have people to protect.

[theonlymanny]

you’re a bender in the batfamilypt.2

Blood bender

At first you didn’t want to be adopted you wanted to be by yourself. It was like that since you were born

Your dad killed your mom because he wanted you to follow his steps. Become a blood bender. He told that every 100 years the avatar would appear, what is an avatar? Well according to your dad the avatar was an evil person who would try to destroy the world…..Liar

After you discovered the truth which was until you were 13 years old. He tried to get rid of you. “It doesn’t matter I’ll just get another kid and if he doesn’t do as I say I’ll kill him to!” You were tired… so you killed him, yeah you got used to it by now. But that certain day that you changed orphanages.

“Listen up everyone! Is either you all shut up or you all die!” The joker said laughing loudly. Great you just changed orphanage and you are already in danger. A woman nearby started crying, the joker notices and pointed his gun at her. “Ohhhh someone wants to die today!” The joker said.

You wouldn’t gonna let the poor woman die so… you bended the his blood to puppet him and break his bones. “AAAA WHAT THE HELL!?” Once the Joker was dead you stoped. The police showed up and some men in weird costumes who not gonna lie they looked scary.

After a long time a man in a fancy suit showed up and started talking with the people who runned the place and they were looking at you. You had a bad feeling.

Here were you at a weird guy’s car. “So M/n that’s your name right?” Oh boy… “yeah” Bruce was curious, you weren’t as scared as the other kids were. “How old are you?” “14” “… and how do you feel about… being with a new family?” You knew he wasn’t good at asking questions “I mean I prefer being alone. Which means don’t ever talk to me unless is necessary.”

Bruce knew this was going to be hard. Why did he have to adopt another kid? And one that seems that he hates his life? Yeah no. You two got out of the car or limousine. Either way it wasn’t like he didn’t have both.

“Kids this is M/n, M/n this are my children, Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian.” “Hi” that’s what you said before you bolted upstairs. Jason couldn’t hold himself together. “ well! Another brat!” Jason said before looking at Damian. “Who are you calling brat you-” Dick hold Damian back before he tried to kick Jason. “Guys he’s probably just overwhelmed. He just had an encounter with the joker and he’s probably traumatized. Right?” Jason snarled at Jokers mention. “It doesn’t matter Dick. The joker is dead and I have to find out who killed him.”

“Hey M/n can I come in?” Dick asked outside your door. “Why?” “Just you know hang out to know each other” you opened the door and let him and his brothers inside. “what do you all want” Jason was loosing his patience “ didn’t you hear we want to know you! And help because well no one is the same when they interact with the joker” that last part he didn’t scream. “How do I say this the nicest way possible…umm I prefer being left alone and I’m not interested in talking with any of you.” You said as you left the room

It was like that until Dick started questioning himself if he was a good brother. Damian didn’t like it which meant Jason was gonna join him.

You were knocked out and tied into a chair. When you opened your eyes you were surrounded by two people one adult and the other one looked like a 15 year old.

“Where the fuck am I?” The taller guy grabbed a bat and the smaller one grabbed a knife out of his pocket. “WOW! Dude you said just to scare him!” You recognized that voice. Jason. Damian carefully knocked out Jason.

Damian was so close to cut you with his knife “how dare you hurt my brother!” So close to making the cut and you using your bending abilities the door opened. “Damian stop!” Dick screamed which startled Damian who accidentally crushed his knife into your skin. “AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!” That really hurt. Dick tried to help you but you pushed him away and used blood bending against Damian. “I’m not letting any one hurt me again especially you, you stupid piece of shit!” While Damian twisted and screamed on the ground Dick tried to stop you. “Stop!” You used your own blood to do a cut in his arm. “AAAAH” you ran away. “Tim follow him!” You saw a person in a weird suit running towards you. “ what’s goin on!” Jason said waking up. “There’s no time let’s go!”

You saw a way out a pond. You used your abilities to go under water and then you were gone… no signs of blood nothing. “Where is he!?” “ he is there” they were so worried that they didn’t notice a wave going towards them. “Hey guys…” “not now Jason” Jason tried to tell Dick and Tim but they wouldn’t listen . “ how did you lost him!? Your Red Robin you’re telling me that he outran y you!?” “ it wasn’t as easy as it looked dick he is really fast!” Jason tried to push both of the arguing brothers. “Moveeeee!”

You runing out of breath. “Shit!” You were bleeding really bad not like it’s new. It’s always been like this…

you’re alone.

—————————————

Hey yall! This is an alternative version of pt 1 where you male reader are a blood bending master. Hope yall like it! 😊

[snnynatural]

with  this  day  being  so  stressful with the elections,  i  wanted  to  say  a  few  things.  my  mental  health  has  been  shit  this  entire  year,  especially  this  october.  but  with  my  birthday  coming  up  on  the  12th,  i  wanted  to  give  some  shoutouts  if  that's  alright.  <3

my  meg  bun  out  there  somewhere  -  idk  where  you  are  bitch,  but  you  know  you're  getting  this  shoutout  one  way  or  another.  first  of  all…  we've  known  each  other  for  like….  four  years?????  WILD  AF.  we've  been  through  a  hella  lot  together.  ESPECIALLY  this  year.  but  you  know  what?  we  came  back  stronger  than  ever  and  i  am  so  fucking  proud  of  us.  now  this  has  been  the  roughest  year  for  me.  especially  october,  but  you've  been  there  while  i  cried  typing  to  you.  not  to  mention,  you  have  your  own  shit  as  well.  we're  going  through  it  bestie,  but  we  are  going  through  it  together.  honestly,  i  feel  like  we  are  closer  than  before  and  i  just  fucking  love  you  so  much.  i  adore  you.  i  smooch  your  forehead.  i  cradle  you  in  my  arms.  you're  so  incredibly  important  to  me  and  that's  not  changing  bitch.  deleted  or  not,  YOU  IS  HERE  IN  MY  HEART  <3

@gccdgraces  -  MY  RIDE  OR  FUCKING  DIE!!  my  day  one  baby  guurrll!!  the  way  you  have  been  there  for  me  through  so  much  bullshit,  i  can't  thank  you  enough.  i  don't  fucking  deserve  you.  you  have  seen  me  at  my  worst  and  never  left  my  side.  i  admire  you  so  fucking  much.  your  brain  is  so  fucking  creative,  i  don't  know  how  you  fucking  do  it.  but  i  continue  to  watch  in  awe.  you  are  truly  one  of  my  best  friends.  one  day,  i  will  see  your  face  in  person  and  i  will  tackle  the  shit  out  of  you  alright????  my  fucking  best  friend.  my  fucking  angel.  my  platonic  soulmate.  i  don't  know  how  i  can  survive  this  hellsite  without  you.  not  talking  to  you  for  a  month  was  TORTURE  BESTIE!!!  let's  never  do  it  again,  alright???  NEVER  AGAIN!  there  is  a  lot  more  that  i  can  say  about  you,  but  we  will  keep  it  short.  i  love  you.  you  are  my  ride  or  die.  and  we  will  continue  together  on  this  crazy  thing  called  life.

@offorester / @stanfordprepped / @he11fireclubtm / @vamp1r3barb13  -  SAMANTHA!!  SAMMY!!!  SAMMIKINS!!!  SAMMYOOOOO!!!  bitch  wtf,  we've  known  each  other  for  two  years  now??  i  could  be  wrong.  i'm  not  good  at  math.  either  way,  i  fucking  love  you  to  death.  we  both  are  always  in  a  bad  mental  head  space  at  the  same  time,  but  at  least  we  go  through  it  together  kJBRESGB  you  are  too  fucking  precious  for  this  world.  you  care  so  much  about  everyone  and  give  your  all  constantly.  i  don't  know  if  i  have  ever  met  someone  so  fucking  kind  until  i  met  you.  you  remain  one  of  my  besties  and  i  promise  to  never  leave  your  side  <3

@wavrlynatural / @safestkittykatintown  -  my  little  bumbling  bee!!!  i  had  no  idea  how  close  we  would  get,  but  i  am  so  glad  that  we  did!!!  i  can't  even  imagine  life  without  you  now!  you  are  one  of  the  kindest  and  sweetest  souls.  heart  of  fucking  gold  honestly.  throughout  this  hiatus,  you  have  sent  so  many  check  ins  even  when  i  didn't  have  the  energy  to  respond,  just  know  it  meant  the  fucking  world  to  me.  it  still  does.  know  that  i  ain't  going  anywhere  bb  <3  you  stuck  with  me  for  LIFE.  literally  the  alex  to  my  sonny.  i  hope  you  know  just  how  much  i  am  obsessed  with  the  little  world  we  created  together  and  our  friendship.  like  dude…….you  are  so  important  to  me  now.  that's  not  changing  ever.

@broknfeed  -  i  know  you  are  on  a  hiatus  bitch  BUT  HOLY  FUCK!!!  the  fact  you  were  there  when  i  first  joined  indie  and  you  were  preggers???  and  then  you  disappeared  because  parental  duties,  but  then  came  back  after  idk  how  many  years  and  looked  for  me???  DUDE!!!  THAT  IS  SOME  WILD  SOULMATE  SHIT  RIGHT  THERE!!!  the  fact  you're  one  of  my  day  ones  is  wild  af  to  me!  but  i  am  so  fucking  grateful!  also  how  you've  always  checked  up  on  me  during  my  hiatus??  i  have  so  much  love  for  you  that  i  could  just  absolutely  BURST!  i  am  genuinely  so  glad  we  are  back  in  touch  and  just  continuing  to  grow  in  our  friendship.  if  only  we  weren't  hours  away  from  each  other,  i'd  tackle  you  kjrebsgjkbekrg  i  love  you  so  fucking  much  my  bean! 

@bloodsalted / @safetypinned  -  dixon  my  lil  spicy  vanilla  gjresbgkrejg  can  i  just  scream  about  how  much  i  love  you??  cause  i  will!  i  was  so  nervous  when  we  first  started  talking,  but  now???  i  still  get  anxious  kBRKSEJGEJ  why??  cause  you  are  so  fucking  talented  and  i  just??  like  bitch??  how  tf  do  you  do  it??  outside  of  your  talents,  you  have  done  nothing  but  welcome  me  with  open  arms  into  your  life  and  we  have  learned  so  much  about  each  other.  not  only  that,  but  you've  been  there  for  me  when  i  have  been  feeling  shitty  and  i  am  so  fucking  grateful  for  it.  you  have  no  fucking  clue.  you  are  a  literal  gem  and  i  will  fight  anyone  who  tries  you.

@sacrisaint -  ASTRID!!!  tbh,  i  have  no  idea  how  we  got  here.  one  day  you  were  sending  silly  comments  about  sonny  and  meg,  then  the  next  thing  i  knew,  you've  been  literally  going  to  bat  for  me  even  when  i  tell  you  not  to.  from  watching  that  silly  tire  movie  together  to  now,  i  hope  you  know  how  much  i  fucking  adore  you.  i  do  not  take  this  friendship  for  granted  one  bit.  the  shit  you  have  done  for  me????  like  i  just??  i  love  you  to  bits  and  pieces!!  idk  what  i  did  to  be  blessed  with  your  friendship  but  i  am  so  grateful. 

@qapsiel -  sarah  sarah  sarah………..  the  way  this  last  month  has  made  me  feel  like  shit,  but  the  moment  i  came  back???  you  were  the  first  to  get  me  cracking  up  so  hard  with  our  blessing  womb  bullshit.  the  joke  that  will  never  die  and  is  forever  ours  <3  your  writing  is  phenomenal  and  you  are  just  out  of  this  world.  you  getting  me  to  laugh  really  helped  immensely,  you  have  no  idea.  i  love  you  so  very  much  and  i  will  keep  torturing  you  with  tiktoks  <3  CAN  NEVER  GET  RID  OF  ME!

@benbraeden / @hervelle / @gankmonsters  /  your  bajillion  blogs  -  lilly  lilly  LILLY  <3  HOLY  FUCK.  i  remember  meeting  you  when  i  first  wrote  minah  when  i  first  joined  the  spn  community.  you  were  always  so  kind  to  me,  but  now???  i  feel  like  we've  continue  to  grow  closer  and  i  can  never  be  any  more  grateful!  no  matter  if  we  talk  a  lot  or  not  at  all,  you've  always  been  there  when  i've  been  feeling  like  shit  and  you  know  i  am  always  there  willing  to  fight  bitches  who  try  you.  i  adore  you  and  your  pure  heart.  you  have  nothing  but  love  for  people  and  it  is  so  fucking  admirable.  and  i  am  so  grateful  that  you  would  take  time  out  of  your  way  to  check  up  on  me.  i  don't  deserve  your  love  yet  here  we  are.  i  adore  you  immensely  and  that's  not  going  to  change.

@murderdeals  -  my  lovely  little  ava!  i  feel  like  we  have  gotten  closer  the  more  we've  been  writing  together  and  i  can  say  i  am  loving  every  minute  of  it  <3  i  also  appreciate  you  reaching  out  when  i  was  feeling  my  lowest.  you  have  been  nothing  but  sweet  to  me  and  all  i  want  is  to  smoosh  your  face  and  give  you  forehead  kisses  cause  i  just  fucking  love  you  mkay??  you  deserve  the  world  and  i  can't  wait  for  everything  we  create  together.  gonna  soar  from  here  bitch.

@salvatoraes  -  RISSA  <3  THE  OWNER  OF  MY  FUCKING  KIDNEY!!!!!!!!!!  i  don't  think  my  love  for  you  will  ever  stop,  bitch.  we  are  going  through  some  tough  shit  irl,  but  at  least  we  are  going  through  it  together  rebgskebg  i  can't  even  keep  count  on  how  long  i've  known  you,  but  i  know  that  i  am  so  fucking  grateful  for  you  every  single  day.  i  love  everything  we  have  created  together  and  i  love  the  chaos  that  we  bring  amongst  each  other.  and  i'm  sure  you  will  be  owning  another  part  of  my  body  because  i  will  give  you  everything  tbh.  you  are  THAT  important  to  me  okay?  one  of  the  best  people  in  the  entire  fucking  world  and  that's  not  going  to  change  ever  <3

@westwingsolo  -  a  my  love  <3  forever  grateful  that  i  have  met  you.  your  words  always  have  me  crying  and  always  bring  some  lightness  to  my  soul.  idk  how,  but  when  i  tend  to  feel  down,  you  tend  to  pop  out  of  nowhere  and  just  know  what  to  fucking  say.  i  love  you  to  the  moon  and  back  and  i  will  always  be  rooting  for  you  because  you  are  just  that  fucking  amazing.  constantly  giving  you  the  biggest  hug  ever!! 

[unoriginal-starwalker]

ok. ok ok. hold on. this is gorgeous and i need to react to everything.

him being made of silica makes sense, although it's funny to imagine that he's made of styrofoam since that's what his real-life statue was made of on the inside lol

the color-changing chromatophores? so cool! and make a lot of sense with my thoughts of Euclydia and Bill's parents! the angsty possibility that the reason Bill keeps drawing them as only red and blue triangles because he only remembers them as the way they were soon before he 'broke out' of Euclydia - angry and distressed/sad. (i didn't come up with this idea, but idk where i saw it - lmk if you know who did!) it's so funny imagining them like the Boov from the movie Home, involuntarily changing colors based on their emotions - that possibility is ripe with goofy scenarios.

yeah, Euclydian's skin being black makes sense with the Theraprism clothes and stuff, I just think it's funnier if he does wear socks and gloves lol

ALSO YEAH it's killing me that we don't know for sure the texture of Bill's hands!!! In the video "How Not to Draw Grunkle Stan" there's a 3D model of Bill and his hands/arms look kinda fuzzy, but that's far enough removed from canon it probably only counts if you want it to.

oooh coelom! I've just gained knowledge! I love fluid-filled cavities!!

his eyelashes being antennae makes a lot of sense, and the retracting and stuff? very cool. we love making animation inconsistencies into lore - this triangle never has a consistent number of eyelashes lol

DUUUDE. "His lashes get longer and he flutters his eyelid more near Ford, probably because he enjoys his smell." AGSHDFHDSHFDS??? HELLO?????? BILLFORD SHIPPERS EATING GOOD TONIGHT

In the Book of Bill, on the page about destroying/liberating Euclydia, Bill says he hears "this loud buzzing in my ears", so theoretically he does have ears somewhere?

in regards to tasting and having a tongue, as far as I know we've never seen Bill with a tongue in canon, although i do subscribe to the headcanon that he has one

okay yeah the way his limbs and those muscles work makes a lot of sense, both the regular human movement & cartoony wiggly stuff! (also, Ford spotted!) i love the little illustration of him with his limbs retracted in his shell :3

lol i love "fictional geometric shaped people"!

"The guy has a thing for teeth" <- you are so right, he's a freak <3

the way his mouth works makes a lot of sense! it's so cool!!

"I also have no idea whether they have an anus and if it’s just one. This is just something I can’t tell you." <- lmao understandable

oh yeah he does like starch doesn't he? yeah he would not care about it being unhealthy lol, that's so him

oooh yeah breathing between his bricks! dude yeah and the voice echoey thing having an anatomy explanation??? especially knowing that you can recreate Bill's voice effect by copying the audio twice, pitching one higher and one lower! and the 'demon voice' being vocal fry makes a lot of sense too!!

"That's why Bill seems to glow when he speaks - he's actually vibrating." <- COOLEST THING EVER??? COOLEST THING EVER ALERT?????? IDK MAN I JUST THINK THIS IS REALLY COOL!!!!!

finally the us government did something good. giving us info about how bill's blood works

omg the heart diagram is so cool - i don't know nearly enough about cardiology to say how accurate it is but IT IS COOL

i think euclydians being cold-blooded makes sense, i've read a couple fanfics where bill 'photosynthesizes'. i just like characters who are cold-blooded (see: Janus from Sanders Sides) because then you can make them lay on warm rocks in the sun and have a joyous time. i'm normal

i love the complete anatomy chart you made of him!!!! your honor, forget obliterating that twink, i want that triangle dissected!

ok. there were my insane ramblings. i am SO excited for the remaining parts of this!!!! i love it when people apply super scientific knowledge to the silliest things, i am HERE FOR IT!!!!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS MASTERPIECE!

Speculative Biology of Euclydians (and Bill Cipher) part 2

Part 1

So this part is what you've all been waiting for, it took so long, but you'll quickly understand why. This part is:

The Biology of Bill Cipher

As always, this analysis is based on two assumptions:

Before Bill Cipher became a demigod, he was a biological, living organism and so were the rest of his species.

Even after Bill Cipher became a demigod, he still retained some physical characteristics of his biological form.

And a fair content warning: This contains anatomy illustrations. This isn't anything gory, but there are people who are squeamish, so you've been warned.

Click on the images to get better quality!

And without further ado, let's begin.

External structures

Euclydians are animals with a very specific shape. They have a shell in a form of a geometric shape and four limbs. Bill is an equilateral triangle, so my analysis will be just on triangular Euclydeans.

They have bilateral symmetry. This type of symmetry is characterized by having a left and a right side placed like mirror images of each other. Humans and majority of Earth’s animals also have this feature.

Bilaterally symmetrical organisms usually have a distinct head region, because of a process known as cephalization. This process moves the animal’s brain and sensory organs towards one end of the body – the head. Euclydians have a head. It’s the “tip of the pyramid” on Bill and that’s where the eye and other sensory organs and brain are located.

Finally, Euclydeans are segmented. Their segments are clearly visible as those weird brick lines on their body. Bill also often separates his body into three segments. This is a part of his god powers, but it tells us that Euclydeans have three major body segments, I’ll call them the tip, the middle and the base. Each segment contains specific organs.

Euclydeans are invertebrates. And yes, I know this image exists, but this is just Bill’s trolling. He’s making fun of human classrooms where we often find skeleton models. That skeleton wouldn’t even be functional, because it doesn’t have any joints in arms and legs, so it wouldn’t be able to move. And it has a hole where the brain would be, so you know, the fucking brain would fall out.

It was outright stated that Bill has an exoskeleton. Having both external and internal skeleton would be a big waste because you have two systems that do the same thing. Besides, the way Bill's limbs move is much more similar to an invertebrate. His shell is also somewhat bendable which would not be possible if it was made of bone. And the eye-mouth complex that Bill uses to eat would also be completely impossible with a set of vertebrate jaws.

Euclydean shell (or exoskeleton) is nothing like anything here on Earth. It’s most likely made out of silica combined with proteins. I say this because Bill turned to stone when he died and he also likes to eat glass, which is pure silica.

The exoskeleton is made out of several parts. It has a front (ventral) and back (dorsal) part. Both the front and the back part of the exoskeleton are made out of head region (the tip) and three layers of “bricks” which are just segments of the exoskeleton.

The front tip is probably made of more protein and elastic tissue than the back, because Bill has a very expressive “face”. This means that he also has quite complex facial muscles. The back of the head is probably the hardest part of the exoskeleton because it protects the brain. Bricks are in the middle since they have a very important role in speaking and breathing, but also allow the shell to bend.

Can Euclydeans change color, or is it just Bill Cipher using his god powers? Well, since he changes his color on instinct, I think they could! Bill can change color to black, yellow, red and blue. This means that he has a complex system of chromatophores – cells that contain little sacs full of pigment. When the sacs inflate, the body appears to be the color of the largest sac, whilst those deflated are invisible. Color changes depending on the pigments contained in inflated sacs. In Bill, the pigments are red, blue and yellow. Yellow is the standard color, it signifies neutral or content emotional state. He turns red when he's angry or wants to look intimidating and blue might signify fear, despair and cry for help. Black is the color of Euclydean’s skin, so when they look black, it’s because all pigment sacs have deflated and the transparent shell allows us to see the skin underneath.

And yes, Euclydeans have black skin. I know some people say that Bill wears thigh high boots and long gloves, but to me, that doesn’t make any sense. Like, that image of him in Theraprism is showing him with clothes over his supposed gloves and boots. Why would they make him wear sneakers over boots? And why baby Bill has yellow hands? Well, that’s something I’ll tell you in the next part where I’ll talk about babies.

Anyways, the skin is black, but we have no idea what it feels like. Seriously, so many people shook hands with Bill and nobody wrote down how his skin feels like! But we know that he has fingerprints. That means that he has very sensitive fingertips and that those little paws were made for grabbing things. Also, Bill doesn’t have any growths on his skin: no nails, hairs, scales etc. I know a lot of people love to draw Bill with claws, but he doesn’t have claws, not even in his most eldritch form. His fingers always remain small and soft. The legs have no fingers and the skin of the sole of their feet is probably thick.

Internal Structures

Coelom

Coelom is one of the most important organs, that you probably don’t know you even have! It’s a fluid filled cavity whose role is to separate internal organs from the muscles of the body wall. This allows organs to move and grow independently of your muscles and it also protects and cushions them against impact. In humans coelom is complex and it’s made out of pericardial cavity (around the heart – allows heart to pump blood), pleural cavity (around lungs – allows lungs to expand while breathing) and peritoneal cavity (around digestive system – allows for expansion and movement of digestive organs).

I believe that Euclydeans also have some form of a coelom. Coelom is even more important in invertebrates, as that’s where their immune system is and it can also serve as a supportive hydroskeleton. Since Euclydeans have a hard shell, they need the protection around their organs. Every shelled animal on Earth has coelom for that reason. They also need room for the food they eat, since the shell can’t expand and their limbs can enter the shell, so they need room for that too.

2. Nervous system

Euclydeans have a vast range of emotions, capability to communicate using speech, body language and even color shifting. They are as intelligent, or more intelligent than humans. They have a highly developed eye and other senses and all of this requires a nervous system. We saw Bill’s optic nerve when his eye got pulled out during Weirdmageddon, so he does have a nervous system, but I can't tell you how exactly it looks like.

There’s one part of Bill that I bet is similar to human - it’s his brain. Bill claims that he can take control over any being a long as they have neurons. This is his god like power, but then, why just beings with neurons? Well, most likely, because he has neurons too and kind of understands how they work. Maybe his brain even produces similar neurotransmitters as ours, so we’re easy to control with them. The brain is in the tip of the pyramid, slightly above eye and it likely has a lot of neurons and a very complex structure. I can’t tell you how exactly is his brain organized, but since he's bilaterally symmetrical, it’s very likely that it has hemispheres. He likely also has two neural cords, like most invertebrates, and those run down the dorsal (back) side of his body

3. Senses

Euclydeans have camera lens type eyes. Now here I can only speak of Bill, since we haven’t seen any other Euclydian. Bill’s eye is large, placed in the center of his “face”. It has eyelids with “eyelashes” (more on them later) and produces tears (Bill cries after his break up with Ford). The pupil is slit and vertical and there is no iris. However, there are muscles that can change the shape and dilation of the pupil. The eye looks similar enough to human that I can confidently say that he has cornea, lens and sclera. The eye is filled with refractory fluid and has some form of retina in the back. Bill’s eye changing color and being used as a projector or to shoot lasers are all parts of his god powers, however, it is possible that his species has a tapetum lucidum, a reflective layer of cells which help animals see in low light conditions and also makes the eye glow in the dark. Bill has color vision and he claims that he can see every part of the electromagnetic spectrum, but I think that's a part of his god powers. However, Euclydeans definitely could see in color, since their alphabet was basically a color code and they also use colors to express emotion.

Since Bill has fingerprints, we can confidently say that his fingers are the most sensitive part of his skin. Bill can feel through his shell too, just like every shelled organism ever (that's why he used Ford as a backscratcher). Tactile senses are very primitive, so Eucliydeans could feel cold, heat, pain, pressure, vibration and everything else just like we do.

Bill has a sense of smell and he even says which scents he finds attractive. This could mean that sense of smell plays a big role in reproduction of Euclydeans, but where is it located? Well, on the eyelashes. Except, those are not eyelashes, they are antennae. Bill has total eight of these antennae, 4 on lower and 4 on upper eyelid. They are very soft and sensitive, so he can retract them inside the eyelid. He does that when he feels threatened, so it’s probably a fight or flight response. His lashes get longer and he flutters his eyelid more near Ford, probably because he enjoys his smell. They are also located close to the mouth, so that’s how he samples the scents of the food.

Euclydeans have great hearing. They communicate vocally, sing, Bill can play the piano, so obviously, they hear. But I have no idea what they use to hear. It could be the bow tie, since it does look vaguely ear shaped, but it's possible that the bow tie isn't actually an organ. In that case, they could have an unknown structure inside them or they could just use their thin exoskeleton to catch sound vibrations.

They taste using their long tongue.

4. Muscles and movement

We have seen Bill’s muscles and they are striated skeletal muscles like mammals and insects have.

As the shell is kind of bendy, there is a lot of muscles underneath it. Those are the muscles of the body, they also move the face and bricks while speaking. The limbs have muscles too and two kinds at that.

When Ford shoots through Bill’s hat (which also a part of him) it is shown that inside of it are strange bone-like structures. These are not bones, since they aren’t articulated, but muscles do connect to them. They kind of remind me of echinoderm ossicles, but they don’t really look like them. This is another fully alien structure and I’ll call them anchors.

You know how Bill’s limbs can both bend just like human arms and legs, like he has elbows, wrists, knees and ankles, but they also bend like goofy rubber-hose cartoon anatomy? Well, that’s because there are two types of muscles in them. There are muscles attached to the anchor points and subcutaneous muscles.

Anchor points are located in the same places as joints in humans. Muscles that attach to them are long and strong and they are used for regulated, precise movement. The subcutaneous muscles (the one we see in his Weirdmageddon image) are used to bend the limbs in every other manner. They are not attached to anchors, but to the skin, so they resemble muscles of octopus arms. They are shorter and less strong, but when they act together they move the limbs in coils. These muscles are also responsible for squishing the limbs inside the shell when they are hidden.

Bill has incredible control and dexterity of his muscles, especially in arms and fingers. Even though his paws are soft and small, he can use them pretty much as efficiently as humans use their hands.

Possibly the strongest muscles in Bill's body are his jaw muscles, so let's talk about those jaws.

5. Eye-mouth complex and the digestive system

Having your eye used for feeding seems wild to us, but this adaptation is seemingly common in fictional geometric shaped people, as it has convergently evolved in Flatland’s inhabitants as well. And, speak what you like, but Euclydeans can’t choke on their food, so they have it better than humans.

I don’t know what Flatlanders eat, but Euclydeans are definitely predators. Now, I know that Bill sometimes depicts himself with human like teeth. The guy has a thing for teeth, especially molars, but he doesn’t have mammalian teeth. In every image where he opens his mouth that was not made by him, we see that he has cone shaped sharp teeth, like a predator. These teeth are great for biting and subduing prey, but they suck at chewing. Euclydeans can’t chew, so they they feed by swallowing chunks that they bite off, or swallowing their food whole if it’s small enough.

Here I depicted how this “eye-mouth complex” functions:

Euclydeans have a stomach in the middle of their body, but I have no idea what goes after it. My best guess is that they have a branching intestine. Our flattest organisms (flatworms, sea stars and brittle stars) all have this type of intestine. It basically means that, instead of just going like a tube, the intestine branches into different parts of the body. I also have no idea whether they have an anus and if it’s just one. This is just something I can’t tell you.

Since Euclydeans are capable of eating a lot of various things, I expect that they have accessory digestive glands (that’s liver and pancreas in humans). Strangely, despite the fact that his anatomy indicates a predator, Bill likes eating starch (pasta, empanadas, sandwiches etc). Most carnivores are unable to digest starch, so I went with god powers, but he ate sandwiches when he was a kid and had no god powers. So, we have two options. Either Euclydeans are omnivores (which, with those teeth, I doubt) or the animals on their planet store their excess calories as starch, not fat, so predators evolved the ability to digest it. If the second one is true, then Bill eating pasta is like your cat eating pure butter. It’s probably not healthy for him, but I don’t think he’s a guy who would give a single crap about that.

6. Breathing and speaking

In The Book of Bill, Bill says that “dumb trapezoids and rhombuses were sucking up his rightful oxygen”. This means that Euclydeans are aerobic organisms – they breathe oxygen. Their skin is dry, so they don't use it for breathing and they also speak, laugh and sing. All of this tells me that they have lungs.

I believe that their lungs are located near the base where the bricks are. The gaps between bricks have little tracheae that lead to the lungs. Bill most likely breathes in from his back side and breathes out from the front. The air is probably forced to travel through small crevices inside the lungs so that it can exchange the oxygen with blood. We don’t know whether Euclydeans exhale carbon dioxide, but they probably do, since they can eat our food, so they probably have similar metabolism to us Earthlings.

Since Euclydeans can speak and laugh, they probably have some kind of a diaphragm. In fact, I think they have two! Their voice has an echo, which means that, most likely, their lungs don’t always expel air at the same time. Air expelling causes the bricks to vibrate which produces sound. That’s why Bill seems to glow when he speaks – he’s actually vibrating. This action is also controlled by muscles. Depending on which row of bricks is vibrating and how many of them are involved, Bill changes the pitch and tone of his voice.

And the growling noise? Well, when Bill uses his demonic voice, he is doing one of two things. He is either using his god like powers to modify his voice, or that’s just how Euclydian vocal fry sounds. If you don’t know what vocal fry is, it’s produced when the vocal chords are vibrating slowly and they become out of sync. This produces a very specific sound and that sound can be made voluntarily. That’s how Mongolian throat singing works. Similarly, Euclydeans could slow down the rate at which their bricks vibrate and make them out of sync to produce that menacing “demon voice” as a threat display.

7. Circulatory system

We know how Euclydean blood looks like. It’s silvery and kind of seems like it glitches. It also contain chemicals that can make humans sick. This means that Euclydeans have much different blood from animals on Earth, but it certainly serves the same function. It’s used to transport nutrients and oxygen through their body.

Since the agents from The Book of Bill were able to draw his blood, it’s clear that Bill has a circulatory system and a closed one at that. The closed circulatory system means that blood vessels end in capillary nets and don’t open inside the body cavity like they do in molluscs and insects. If the agents used syringe to pull Bill’s blood and he had an open circulatory system, they could actually collapse the entire thing as they would pull his organs as well. That’s why I believe that he has a closed circulatory system.

Closed circulatory system requires a heart and I believe that Bill’s heart is located between his lungs, like ours. I have no proof that his heart looked anything like in the illustration, but I looove cardiology, so I did all this just because I wanted to draw a weird heart. I don’t think Euclydeans have a super complex four chambered heart like we do, they most likely have two or three chambered heart. The heart separates lung and body circulation and regulates their blood pressure.

The capillary nets are all located in important places: lungs where they exchange oxygen, intestines where they absorb nutrients and brain where they feed the neurons. Euclydeans have a rather large brain, so it probably uses most of their calories and oxygen.

8. Other systems

I can’t tell you anything abut Euclydean excretory system. I don’t know whether they produce urine or not, if they have kidneys, nephrocytes or something completely different. I genuinely have no idea.

They have to have an immune system because they are multicellular. Every single multicellular organism including sponges and plants has some form of an immune system. I believe Euclydeans have something similar to coelomocytes - a very common type of immune cells in invertebrates which reside in coelomatic cavity.

I'll talk about reproductive system in Part 3!

Are Euclydeans warm or cold-blooded?

This was a very tough one, because they could be both, but I am leaning more towards cold-blooded. They have very little muscle mass and heat is produced within the muscles via trembling or metabolic heat (heat released in various chemical reactions in the body). When an animal has very little muscle it isn’t used for that. Even mammals like sloths who have significantly reduced muscle mass become dependent on the surrounding temperature. Also, Euclydean flat shape can easily distribute heat they absorb, so they wouldn’t need to waste energy making their own. On top of that, Euclydeans don’t wear clothes, which can be a cultural thing, sure, but they could also not wear clothes because they need their skin exposed so that it could absorb heat.

Here's how Bill Cipher's complete inner anatomy looks like:

There, I hope you enjoyed this! I'll see you hopefully next week to tell you about Euclydean reproduction and development.

Thank you @ok1237 @unoriginal-starwalker and @chrystalitar for your support :D

(Also, I hid Ford Pines in one of the anatomy illustrations. Can you find him? Click on the images for better quality!)

[swan-orpheus]

I survived Valetine's Day at my job. Don't have to do that for another year! Whoooo! Tomorrow is Just Thursday. Thank f*&^%.

[stardust-moth]

In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.

Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.

1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.

He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.

He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.

2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.

In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.

Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.

For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.

He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.

3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.

The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.

Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.

She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.

Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.

4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.

On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.

He's helpless to save her, again.

4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...

El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.

Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...

Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...

There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.

Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.

She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.

He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.

She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.

Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.

The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.

He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.

And it works. It's music to her ears.

[alipeeps]

I initially thought that but the subs on my downloaded version said he hid himself away *after* each blood moon? I'll have the check the iQiyi version again - subs and listening (cos I am at least familiar with indicators of time period in Chinese).

And oh fuck dude, I did not even think of that... I was thinking, ah ok he's protected for a month and then back to business as usual... but I had forgotten that it's been confirmed that the baize token is what's been holding back the malicious qi for the past 8 years. So once his month of protection is up... oh shit.

Oh DAMN... extrapolating from that... when he wigged out under the blood moon 8 years ago... I had been wondering why that suddenly happened on that occasion...

What if... what if.... he has been absorbing malicious qi for all his thousands of years of life and suppressing it/controlling it.... but under that blood moon 8 years ago it finally reached a level where he could no longer control it and he wigged out... and the ONLY thing that brought him back was the baize token. Like, his level of malicious qi is - since then - permanently so high that the baize token was the only thing stopping it from taking him over regardless of whether there is a blood moon.

(And SHIT what if that was WHY the previous baize goddess split the token and put half in him, because she knew it was not his fault the malicious qi overcame him and that only the baize token could help suppress it for him?)

And if that's the case that would also explain why (if the subs are correct) he is secluding himself after each blood moon since then... partly to repent and punish himself for his actions 8 years ago... but also to make sure each year that the qi is still under control, after having absorbed more malicious qi during the blood moon, and that he is safe to go back out into the world.

And if all that is the case... then they have at most a month to either reinsert the baize token/find a new way to suppress the qi... or kill him.

Hah!! I knew it!! (I'm onto your storytelling tricks now GMJ!!)

Yeeeah you coulda acted a little quicker though Zhuo Yichen... like before Pei Sijing got thrown into a pillar... (although on second thoughts, no, fuck her traitorous ass, as you were Zhuo Yichen, you're good....)

Oh god, the angst of it all...

If he were to die, the burden would just be passed to someone else. He would be condemning someone else to the pain and self-loathing that he feels.

Oh dang, the bottle he drinks from all the time is a liquid that helps suppress malicious energy!! He's literally dosing himself all day every day to try and stay in control!!

Shit, he is visibly shaking with effort, struggle to keep even a smidgen of control, and begging Ying Zhao to kill him before it's too late

Wait, what's grandpa gonna do? Why's he telling Ying Lei goodbye?!!

Did he... did he just fucking sacrifice himself to help suppress Zhu Yan?! Did he put his... spirit?... into Zhu Yan to help suppress the malicious qi?

That might save everyone's lives but jfc that is NOT going to help Zhu Yan's guilt/self-loathing problem!!

Oh GOD the usually carefree and silly Ying Lei outright SOBBING over his grandpa is fucking killing me!

Good god, his FACE. He looks happy at first... I guess that the blood moon is over and he is in control? But then he looks up and sees... sees the aftermath... of what HE has done...

My poor fucking boy. He is so tormented. 😭

He is indeed grandpa

So they've got a month where the malicious qi won't affect him...

I'm still not sure I understand what it is he's done to himself to get those scars? Was he being literal about lightning strikes? And secluding himself *after* the blood moon... why? To let the malicious qi levels lessen?

God the visuals of this show!!

Sure ya do buddy.

Why are you no match for Li Lun? I thought you were badass demon? Oooh wait up though... the subs on iQiyi said "I'm no match for Li Lun"... but the subs on the my downloaded file say "I can't kill Li Lun". Which is it? Because one is can't as in not able to... and the other might mean can't as in can't bring myself to...

Oh wait what? It can?

Oh god Ying Lei's grief has me genuinely crying.

No she hasn't, they're having to take turns at the scenic moping spot and Zhu Yan had it most of the night...

Yeah you DESERVE to be hated girl cos Zhu Yan didn't have a choice... you did. He was literally being controlled by malicious energy. Regardless of what Chongwu camp used to get you to spy for them, you made the choice to.

WHO? Who should have almost completed his great mission by now? Cos that did not sound like you were talking about Zhao Yunzhou there...

I STG if you fuckers pull the rug out from under me by making Xiao Bai be a fucking spy too I will cut a bitch...

Aaaaand the next scene jumps straight to Xiao Bai. Don't you do it. Don't you fucking dare!!

Oooh they've somehow all magically got furry winter clothes now...

Oh dang, my boy's had a mountain god makeover.

Awww he's leaving the gang to stay there?

Oh god damn don't give the magic travel device to the fucking spy. She'll land you all straight into the middle of Chongwu camp instead of where you want to go...

Yeeeeeaaaah that ain't all it means mate... 😂

They're all having protracted heartfelt goodbyes... and where is my poor Zhu Yan?

Group hug!! For everybody except the Great Demon Zhu Yan... 😭

Ugh that was an emotional rollercoaster and I am exhausted.

[bamsara]

are you actually cancelling the shipment of the new laptop or was that a joke?

It's a joke but. What if I did auuugh

Making big purchases like this give me anxiety to a heavy level because low key I feel like I'm wasting money and that I don't need it because Arson, even though he's clearly not meant to last a lot longer in that shell and is corrupting and losing files, is still booting up and therefore I feel like I've done this 'too early' and that I don't deserve to get the new pc

Like I KNOW I need it and it will help me immensely but. You know

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

Ok but can we talk about the absolute horror of being watched and monitored 24/7 that the ancients must have had. The citizenship drones being like an Alexa that's constantly following and listening to you (except it's five pebbles and not Alexa lmao). The fucking OVERSEERS. THEY'RE CALLED THAT FOR A REASON. BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THEIR CITIZENS AS WELL AS THE ENVIRONMENT ALL THE TIME. (I would talk about the fact that they all show arti fucking ads as well but honestly idk what else to say about that. Capitalism got yet another society 😔). That's some fucking nightmare fuel dystopian society settings we are being hinted at. You know the Big Brother Is Watching You thing. The book. Yeah that's what it reminds me of.

The Iterator Is Watching You.

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Looking back, I desperately wish the concept of non-binary gender was something I knew about when growing up. Like maybe I wouldn't have gone through such an intense "not like other girls" phase as a kid if I knew that "not like other girls" was a wider option.