#like man this game was COOKING with its story and with vicious in general

[goldentigerfestival]

Honestly every time Vicious is so proud of his kids/entourage/circus troupe it unlocks something very feral in me.

[ap-kinda-lit]

Macabre Latin-American Legends

1. La Llorona (Mexico)

La Llorona (aka, the Weeping Woman) is one of the best known ghost legends of Hispanic origin. Like many legends, there are various differing origin stories behind her, but they all center around the same thing: a young, beautiful mother whose spirit roams the land of the living in search of her deceased children, wailing non-stop and crying out, "Aye, mis hijos!" ("Oh, my children!"). She is most commonly sighted in urban areas, rivers or lakes, and highways. Although many agree that la Llorona's legend has deep roots in Mexican territory and has been around prior to the Spanish Conquest, her story has great significance in just about all Hispanic/Latin countries. People from all over the globe have claimed to have seen the spirit of la Llorona or heard her cries. La Llorona is a tragic figure but is also feared. Many who have grown up hearing her story remember her as a childhood bogeyman. From generation to generation, elders have warned youngsters to respect adults and not stay out after dark or wander near bodies of water, because if they do otherwise they will become targets to la Llorona. It is said that if la Llorona encounters a lone child, she will abduct them and drown them to take the place of her lost children, hence adults and children being very wary of her.

2. El Silbón (Venezuela, Columbia)

The Whistler is a tall, thin man who wears a large hat. Just like la Llorona, his origin story is retold in a number of variations. But in each version of it, he is the wandering lost soul of a young man who committed the horrible crime of killing his own father. As punishment for his patricide, he was tied to a post and his bare back was lashed repeatedly then had a pack of vicious dogs sicced on him. He was also forced to carry a sack containing his father's bones over his destroyed back and was condemned to do so for all eternity. El Silbón got his moniker from his habit of whistling one particular tune constantly. This tune he whistles lets people know he's present and acts as an omen of impending death. He's usually non-discriminate with his victims but he's been said to sometimes prey on womanizers and drunks. With drunks, he sucks the alcohol out of their navels like a vampire; with womanizers, he violently tears them apart and and takes their bones to put them into the sack containing his father's and other victims' bones. Fortunately, el Silbón can be warded off and his death curse can be prevented. All that is required to do this is the mere sound of a dog barking or a whip, either of which will scare him off.

This is what El Silbón's whistle sounds like:

3. El Coco (Portugal, Galicia, Spain, Mexico)

El Coco is a bogeyman-type, shape-shifting monster who preys on misbehaving children. If a child stays up past their bedtime or disobey their parents, el Coco will come and abduct and devour them. It dwells under beds and in closets or just about any part of a room shrouded in darkness. Some versions say that el Coco was once a man but became the kidnapping, child-eating monster. One version is that he became ill with tuberculosis in a time where it was a death sentence so he turned to drinking children's blood to cure himself but ended up transforming into the monster he is known as now.

4. Chupacabra (Puerto Rico, Mexico, America)

El Chupacabra is one of the most famous cryptids in the world. The creature is a vampiric predator that attacks livestock and sucks them dry of their blood. It is described as having glowing red eyes and being canine-like or as a reptilian humanoid. Chupacabra attacks and sightings have been reported all over, from the United States to Chile (sometimes even in Europe and parts of Asia).

5. Nueve Veces Veronica (Spain, Mexico)

Nueve Veces Veronica is a spiritual ritual similar to Bloody Mary. The ritual includes a pair of scissors, a red ribbon/string, a Bible, and takes place in a dark room with a mirror. The entity summoned in this game is none other than the spirit of a girl named Veronica. She will act as a fortune-teller, but if a person taking part in the game doesn't take her seriously, she will kill them. This game surrounding Veronica is said to be her punishment. She was once a teenage girl who played the exact same game with some friends one night. Veronica made the terrible mistake of not taking the ritual seriously and, as a result, the scissors used in the ritual went flying through the air and stabbed Veronica in the neck. Her friends ran to get help and when they returned they found Veronica lying in a pool of blood, one hand holding the Bible and the other grasping the scissors embedded in her neck.

6. La Pisadeira (Brazil)

A creepy hag with claws and red eyes who preys on people who go to bed with a full stomach. La Pisadeira creeps into their bedroom and is able to climb onto her intended victim's chest as they are induced with sleep paralysis. She does nothing but sit on the immobilized victim's chest and bask in their sheer terror, which she feeds off of and becomes stronger with. Sometimes the victim will survive the encounter only to be visited by her again and reliving to the experience, but sometimes she will instead suffocate them to death.

7. La Sayona (Venezuela)

La Sayona is a fearsome spirit who appears as an attractive woman and targets unfaithful men. She was once a beautiful woman who was married with a baby boy. She liked to go swimming in a nearby lake and it was there she attracted the admiration of a man. The man was so taken with her that he hatched a scheme to get her to himself. He told her that her husband was cheating on her...with her mother. She was so angered by this allegation that she went home and killed her husband and baby then attacked her mother with a machete. With her dying breath, the mother professed there was no affair going on and she cursed her daughter to become a supernatural entity that lived to take revenge on those who are unfaithful to their partners. La Sayona will roam on highways or jungles where work is being done and when she encounters a lustful man she will seduce him, get him alone, then reveal her true colors and attack. She will either turn into an animal and tear off their genitals or give them an STD that will cause their genitals to shrink and blister, indicating to their wives or girlfriends that they have been unfaithful.

8. Maria Angula (Ecuador)

Maria Angula was the daughter of a Cayambe landowner and she loved to gossip, which often got her into trouble. She spent so much time gossiping that she didn't learn how to cook. So, when she married and her husband would ask for a meal, she faced a problem. Maria went to her neighbor, Dona Mercedes, who was an excellent cook, and she told her how to make certain recipes. When Maria did what she was told, she would pass it off as her own and acted as if she knew what her neighbor was talking about when she explained recipes to her. Dona Mercedes became fed up with Maria's arrogance and ingratitude and decided to teach her a lesson. When Maria came to her for help yet again, Dona Mercedes took advantage of the girl's ignorance. Maria's husband had requested a meal that consisted of a Puzun (stomach) from a goat but Dona Mercedes told Maria that a Puzun from a human was tastier. Mercedes told Maria what to do, thus Maria went to the cemetery that night and looked for the most recently buried coffin there. Then, she dug it up, opened it, and cut out the deceased's stomach and took it home to cook it exactly as Dona Mercedes had directed. Like Dona Mercedes had said, her husband loved the meal Maria had cooked. That night, after the married couple went to bed and fell asleep, Maria awoke to a bony specter that demanded its guts back from her. When it didn't get what it requested, it dragged Maria out from her bed and took her away into the night, never to be seen or heard from again.

[unikornu]

🌹, 🍂, 💐, 🌺, 💫, ☄️ for Lucy? 🍁, 🌸, 💦 for Harrison?

Thank you kindly for the asks! Let’s go:

Lucy: 

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

Home for Lucy is whenever she is sure no one from the fair distance and within same walls wants to stab her in her sleep. Nuka World under Harrison protection will be the most home-ish and safe place since also after the disciples wiping she did prove her worth and loyalty to the raider’s goals and now they no longer need to sleep with one eye open with Gage since Harrison is patrolling and staying up all nights and gang leaders might not have such a strong urge to betray her. Later eventually she will set up base back in Sanctuary in her mother’s home since they will need second solid base in Commonwealth and somewhere deep in the woods still lies a pre-war secret lab section  that will be important for Harrison in order to understand the experiment and maintain his power as well as his body. A place where she can put down her guard, where she can sense presence of her boss and be sure Gage is also nearby will always be worth calling home but there are few places like this since later on her reputation will be more knowledgeable to wasteland folks and she will be on wanted list of sort. 

So yeah what can i say...away from Nuka World home announcement for them would sound like so:  A small blond lady along with a raider thug and tall grumpy old man looking for a warm cave to duck in without worry of being pitchforked by angry local settlers and half of the commonwealth. Ain’t many places they can call home, poor fuckers. 

🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with receiving affection from others?

Oh she secretly loves hugs and affection of any kind but keeps in mind its better to leave them for very few and private moments. Besides how the hell that would make her look in society she is stuck with. Harrison and type of her job forced her to strip her mind from emotions as they were useless and making her weak but once the events calmed down they do come at peace and leave that part behind. With friends in public like Lizzie she will bump against their shoulder with a smile or chuckle, its safe in public and still reflects that she feels good in their company. With Harrison she will just bury herself in deep fatherly hug when gone for a few days, especially he is very tall and big so its like hugging a yao guai just in a brown thick coat. And because she never had a good father experience that hug will mean a world to them. With Gage she knows he has a hard time to be soft fucker but as the time goes on, the affection switches from small things, like checking his patch out and forcing to help taking care of his wounds too, not just hers, into letting down the bitch tough face and raider stiff attitude. Inviting him for the drink, just two of them, closing the distance and ending up just resting against his chest or sleeping hugged to his back. If the urge is strong and rules can go fuck themselves she will just charge at him and let all that sweet stuffed in her chest love drown him. 

As for people who didn’t reach yet friend level any kind of touching contact which doesn’t involve knife is for her a way to show affection. Be it soft fist bump in their arm, fast shoulder shake or very split millisecond side hug. Hell, even if she smiles at them its already a good sign, and in a humane soft manner, not the smirky bitch one. If her resting bitch face goes away its already a fantastic sign and promising future she won’t stab them later on. 

💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

If you tell her to do that when there is shiet to be done and there almost always is in her mind you will see a constant middle finger, raised from the bed and the moment you turn around or leave she will be gone, sneaking away to get at least her knife and try to leave outside. She was raised to fulfill mission, no matter what so a stupid cold or broken bone is suppose to nail her in place. Fuck no, she can’t right? She can’t be that weak even if pain sweats her eyes. Gage learns slowly her urges as with each park taken he sees her taking extreme solutions to many situations, not thinking about possible bad outcomes so when the really bad cold catches her or she got badly wounded again he will be the one yelling at her to stop that shit. Aside from usual care like shoving injections or closing wounds and occasional cooking he will be constantly ensuring her that she can close both eyes shut and get an actual restful sleep, that he is on the watch and nothing out there waits to kill her when she ain’t looking. World neither will fall apart in flames if she will be gone in dreams for few hours. With Harrison come back that part is becoming easier as the simple sharp look in his eyes of mixed care and threat is convincing enough to put that knife down and shove her ass back in bed. With Gage guarding the Fizztop and Harrison overlooking the rest of the town there is no way of sneaking out and in this case it would be a bit ungrateful since they both put so much effort for her. 

She is better at taking care of others than herself tho if these are in her social circle. She doesn’t need to force herself, it comes natural to her. She will switch in a second from a vicious bitch to a caring bitch. Trying even to overcome her lack of cooking skills to deliver something warm and edible to that person if need. If she can’t get that fucking soup perfect for shit she will threaten and kidnap a local masterchef of sort to make and teach her how to do it. She means well but...ya remember her empathy can have weird and extreme outcomes.

Lol imagining like someone being under her care when sick and they go to the bathroom and spot a chef cook in a kitchen chained to a fucking stove cooking some good shit and Lucy siting at the table reading a cooking recipe and pointing a pistol at them.          

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

Normally she would drink or take calmex right away but she slowly tries to give up on that addiction as they do more harm than good. Having Gage or Harrison around will help to break that thought if she can either crawl up to Porter’s bed or wake him up to ensure that everything is real and alright or kindly ask Harrison to watch over her as he doesn’t need to sleep. Maybe he looks like a nightmare in a dark but its her nightmare she is familiar with.

If alone tho she will struggle, she hates to be alone for too long. If fear strikes her at battlefield she will try to cover her fear and damp it down with anger instead, psycho or fury could help and she isn’t addicted to it as to calmex so that’s one way out but stupid. If its just a nightmare in a middle of a night she won’t go immediately to sleep but walk around, talking to herself and convincing it was just a dream, grab a mannequin, do a silly dance with it, anything silly to relax a mind and take it off the stress and that nightmare. A shot of booze won’t hurt as long as it ends up on just one but it rarely does. Reassurance is her best ally in these beside she is too big of a girl for comforting items like an old plush puppet found in some certain treehouse back in Sancturary....right...riiiiight? ._.

💫What is your favorite fact about this character and why?

I think the simple fact that she is kind of evil oc and she knows about it. I don’t think there is many characters of this kind out there but i might be wrong. Since childhood i was trying to strike best - peaceful outcomes in games and so on but later on i started to sympathize with actual villains, be it games and stories. They can be full of surprises and complex in a interesting way, prove to be actually powerful allies as well and in general they talk to me more than a basic superman trying to strike for a world peace.  

☄️ Does this OC deserve better treatment from you? Do you make them suffer just a little bit too much? Be nice to them!

Oh ye, ofc she deserves better, she wants hugs, friends, she is bad but she wants a warm treatment too from time to time, she still have emotions ;c  Me, the creator, Uni, i’m horrible to her. I burned her hands too, like noooooo you can’t just wear gloves all the time for no reason, lets do smth bout it that will fit with all that dedication ya willing to push yourself in a fight no matter the consequences. Get burned bitch. Anyway, i’m taking her off the calmex addiction, giving her Harrison back as a better man who wants to protect her and do braids on her hair and softening the stinky to a level of a warm wet piece of trash, maybe getting some actual friends on a way. The pages on a start were focus more on a action and game lore kind off and just parks themselves but now with last page i finally get to actually break down and slow the shit to get to more emotional level, at least i hope to get it that way. 

Now Harrison time:

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themselves? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favorite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Sadly he will be very lost at the start to find this kind of spot as he popped into the world from nowhere, just finally doing the separation from Lucy to a nearby old synth skeleton in a heat of a fight situation. Since the disciples base got a vacancy and cleaning it up feels too much of an effort for the rest of gangs he decided to make this place his comfort zone as its fairly close to Feit base but still separated behind walls, no windows to peek in for curious ones. He can’t sleep so he has a plenty of time to make it his corner. The only things he posses are his memories so he will just meditate there and surround himself with all the good moments from the past, adding the new ones to the collection, keeping his humanity on check and all the urges balanced. Also trying new tricks with his powers feels safe to do it there, the telekinetic ones especially since the place is spacey and there ain’t much to break. He doesn’t want to go too far away even if he needs a moment, he always has in the back of his head the need to be close when problems arise.

Personally on a side note i struggle to think of an explanation to the Nuka World leaders and overall people there as to how Lucy will explain to them...who the fuck he is and why he is there and where he came from and why give him a disciple base. Like...saying a truth to Gage is easier since they run together but the rest? She can’t even say he is her lost-found father since they don’t even look like family. 

🌸 What are some of their favorite things and why? List as many as you can think of!

There won’t too many as he just got off but some basic stuff i know for now:

- sweet snacks, whiskey and smokes as he still remembers these tastes from pre-war: just being softie for these small habits and diet sins

- being in charge, keeping order around due to his profession, even if times changes he still keeps the attitude and he just likes it

- training the newbie raiders, pointing out mistakes to Porter, advising Lucy on some combat moves and tips: it might feel like he is being proud, all knowing but he actually is hell of a experienced smart fighter, don’t get fooled by his age either, he just enjoys training people under him and see them improve  

- proving Porter wrong: oh boy they really don’t like each other at the start

- doing dem braids, he starts to have a soft spot for going father mode

- even if he isn’t fully human he takes care of his “shell”, perfectly shaving, keeping his shirts clean and smooth, overall he enjoys that “self care” routine even it it might feel silly in the wasteland and due to the fact who he is 

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

Probably killing his son. The experiment would get to him one way or another since he would get suspicious what kind of shady business is going on in police department and asking too many questions and stuffing nose in corners he shouldn’t would eventually lead anyway to his assassination and still giving his body for that experiment resulting in same outcome but the sudden trauma and speed of events is what pushed him out of there, taking control of himself and situation also resulting in his nature softening and toning down, knowing he doesn’t have much left and it can be lost at any moment. 

[wikiablogger]

25 Things Wrong With Boruto Everyone Chooses To Ignore

Boruto is the successful sequel series to one of the most popular anime to ever exist: Naruto. As it follows the next generations of shinobi, fans get to see all the couples grow older and see their children become strong ninja themselves. Predictably, the main character of the show is Naruto's own son, Boruto Uzumaki.

Though the show echoes a lot of themes and styles from its predecessor, it has a lot of its own, new charm. It continues on from Naruto and grows into its own conflicts, stories, and adventures. Many fans consider it to be better than Naruto, as it took the good from that show, cut out the bad, and made it a better overall experience. At least for certain there are far less infamous filler episodes.

However, just like Naruto, Boruto is not beyond reproach. It still has flaws in plot, logic, and character growth. It might be easier to overlook blemishes because of Boruto's increased quality, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. For example, there's a lot of debate about Sasuke's home life that sends fans atwitter. However, there's more to it than just the continuation of the Sasuke/Sakura debate. 

25. The Opening Scene

Boruto begins many years before the anime, showing the terrible destruction that will plague Konoha. It also implies all this destruction happened at the hands of Kawaki, a vicious combatant. Boruto himself steps into the battle, showing immense strength and defending the shinobi.

Then the series heads back to Boruto's youth, when he's a rebellious with daddy issues and a lot of angst about shinobi, a far cry from his future self.

Though it's an interesting hook, it does jar fans and mildly spoil Boruto's character growth. Part of Naruto's charm was his willpower and long-term growth into leadership, responsibility, and strength. This opening scene ruins that for Boruto.

24. Sarada's Identity Crisis

There's an entire arc in the series centering around Sarada and her parents. Since she has never really met Sasuke, she's unsure if she's really his daughter and that troubles her. This is the understandable aspect of her identity crisis

However, the less logical turn is when she starts questioning if Sakura is her mother. Sakura has raised her since birth, been with her every day, and cared for her lovingly. Even though Sasuke is a mystery, Sakura's devotion to her should be enough to assume she's her mother. They make look different, but thinking Karin birthed her or Sakura would care for Karin's child is ludicrous.

23. Boruto's Overpowered Abilities

Naruto was always powerful, even though he struggled to hone that power. However, Boruto is on another level. Despite his indifference to shinobi life and the Hokage title, he is easily one of the strongest students in his class in pure talent.

At best, Boruto appreciates winning and being powerful, but his strength is growing exponentially in comparison to his father.

Not to mention, his Karma marks add an absurdly powerful, currently unpredictable element to his power levels. Naruto became a powerful Shinobi, but Boruto might be on a completely different level that it's almost absurd.

22. Orochimaru's Involvement

Orochimaru, the troubled mad scientist of Naruto, is one of the most problematic characters in the series. He caused the shinobi of that time much grief with his schemes and plots.

However, in Boruto, he's just a parent coming to teacher meetings. Though Mitsuki hardly deserves exile for his father's deeds, allowing Orochimaru as much leeway as Naruto and Sasuke do is ridiculous. Mitsuki may be a genuine, talented, kind kid, but Orochimaru is still a complex, scheming man. He shows little growth away from that part of himself. After all, he is into making clones now, and sometimes very unstable ones like Shin Uchiha.

21. Burgers

Like Naruto had ramen, Boruto has burgers. Boruto loves eating the food with his friends and can be found often cradling a burger in his hands.

It gives the young shinobi a place to hang out and something the fill them up after hard work, but there is one big question: why burgers?

Naruto's world is heavily based in Asian mythology. After all, every land is full of ninja running around. Ramen made sense as their food of choice. However, burgers are an inherently European creation that's only been heavily franchised by Western culture. Boruto creators may be trying to connect with Western audiences, but burgers just don't make sense.

20. Katasuke Encouraging Boruto's Cheating

By Boruto, technology has greatly advanced in the 15 or so years since he Fourth Shinobi War ended. Doctors like Katasuke are even creating technology that hones ninja abilities.

Whole progress is exciting and Katasuke was desperate to get his tech tested and noticed, it was completely illogical to give it to Boruto to test in the exams. At best, Boruto wouldn't have been caught, leaving the Kote unnoticed. At worst, it could have completely failed and seriously hurt him. Instead, the middle occured: it worked great but the cheating and misuse of the Kote got both parties in great trouble. It was an overall dumb idea for Katasuke.

19. Sumire's Home Life

Sumire is a focal young ninja during the possession arc of Boruto. Why? Because all of the posessions and danger are looming because of her. Sumire's parents passed after their family was ostracized from Konoha for their involvement in Danzo's Root organization. She attempted to enact a revenge plot, but her friends stopped her.

However, beyond accepting her school life, what does Sumire have? If previous orphans are any indication, she lives alone and is depressed.

If Kabuto's orphanage is her home, that's frighteningly worse. Sumire's home life isn't talked about and isn't a concern, though it should be. After being trained to become an agent of revenge, she deserves a good home or at least some counseling.

18. Team 10's Leadership

The teaming up of Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka children is a classic shinobi combination. For generations, various heirs have paired up like this to create powerful teams. After all, together they build the powerful Ino-Shika-Cho Formation.

Another element to this team is that they are commonly lead by a member of the Sarutobi Clan to cement their bond. Consequently, the last trio was led by Asuma Sarutobi and was dubbed Team 10. However, Boruto's Team 10 is led by Moegi, a ninja with no connections to the Sarutobi clan. Instead, their leader should have been Konohamaru or Mirai, both strong shinobi and members of the Sarutobi clan.

17. Lack of Post-Ninja Careers

Boruto is set long after the Fourth Shinobi War, in a time of prolonged peace. Because of this, ninja have fallen out of favor and less are needed. Therefore, some of the older shinobi now have interest in finding non-ninja careers. There are complaints of there being a scarcity, however.

While it's an understandable plight for the older shinobi, this doesn't make sense in the world of Naruto. During the previous series, there were cooking-nin in the Land of Lightning and other similar occupations on display. It may require some travel, but there are certaintly jobs out there for non-combat ninja. Ino is a florist now, after all.

16. Sasuke and Sakura's Marriage

Sakura pined after Sasuke for the entirety of Naruto. However, Sasuke showed little interest in her romantically. At best, she was a friend who annoyed him. Sometime between Naruto and Boruto, though, they marry and have a daughter.

Despite showing no previous interest, Sakura and Sasuke are an illogical match.

Sasuke is very private, prefers not to be touched, and stays away for long missions. Sakura prefers affection, is constantly saddened by his absence, and it fairly open with her emotions. Their personalities don't match up well and it's bizarre the pair would end up a "happy" couple.

15. Mitsuki's Immeasurable Potential

Mitsuki is a very unique character, as he's the artificially created son of Orochimaru. From Orochimaru's genes alone, Mitsuki is understandably powerful. However, there's an element that makes him even more complex: his conception.

Artificial humans haven't existed before in this world. The shinobi have no clue if this will effect his powers. In theory, Mitsuki could be even more powerful because of the precision in his genetics. He could have more potential than any other shinobi has even had before. While that's wild enough, it's even wilder how no one seems as concerned or fascinated by his unknown, immeasurable potential.

14. Technological Development

During Naruto, technology is akin to the tech of the early 1900's with some odd tapes and other advances mixed in. However, 15 years later, by Boruto, the technology has rapidly evolved to the point it is far more akin to the modern technology of the early 2000s's, with sleek computers, phones, video  games, etc.

Though peace can create rapid growth, it seems quite extreme that what took about 75 years for first world countries took only 15 years in Naruto. Either Naruto should have been a little further along in tech, or Boruto should be a bit further back. Maybe huge computers and block phones, not sleek, newer tech.

13. Kabuto Running the Orphanage

Kabuto was one of the most aggressive of Orochimaru's minions during the time of Naruto. He faithfully protected, resurrected, and destroyed for his master. He single-handedly caused a lot of pain for Konoha.

Kabuto had a change of heart during the final battles of Naruto, wanting to help save the world, not destroy it, but that hardly makes him a good person.

By Boruto, though, he's the leader of orphanage. Giving a twisted follower of a mad scientist agency over tons of young minds seems irresponsible and dangerous, particularly with all the Shin Uchiha clones there now.

12. Boruto Agreeing To Team 7

Team 7 was the iconic trio of Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto in the original series. When Boruto graduates Ninja Academy, he, Sarada, and Mitsuki are grouped together into a team. They were initially called Team 3, but after Sarada became wildly impressed with Naruto, she asked they be renamed Team 7. Her request was granted.

However, there's a serious snag in reviving the name: Boruto. While Boruto learned to work well with Sarada and respect her, he still has serious issues with his father and hates the idea of following in his footsteps. For him to agree to Team 7 is a complete breach of character.

11. Sasuke's Absentee Relationship With Sarada

Sasuke's relationship with Sarada is strained and distant, at best. However, it doesn't make sense for it to be. For starters, Sasuke is the best person to teach her about her genetic powers. After all, he's the only other Uchiha. He should be caring for his only heir much more closely for that reason alone.

Beyond that, though, he knows losing his parents, his troubled relationship with his brother, and the Uchiha Curse of Hatred led him down a dark path. To do better for Sarada, he should give her a doting father and lots of support to guide her away from hatred.

10. The Emergence of The Otsutsuki Clan

When Kaguya came to earth, it was already mentioned she wasn't the only one of her kind. However, it seemed she was the first to get distracted by love and, later, ultimately fail in her mission. It's understandable when Momoshiki, Kinshiki, and Urushiki come to the planet. The problem lies more in when they came.

Thematically, if Kaguya was the final enemy large enemy, it's insane to make her clansmen early villains in Boruto's lore.  

Though it gave Sasuke and Naruto a challenge, it was a ridiculous feat for the genin main characters. The Otsutsuki clan should have appeared later to be villains for the younger cast.

9. So Many Ninja Housewives

Naruto showed us the strength of both male and female ninja in its many trials, battles, and wars. It gave fans the first female Hokage in Tsunade, the secretly powerful Hinata, intimidating villains like Konan, and more. However, by the time Boruto rolls around, most all of the remaining female cast are relegated to housewives.

While it makes sense for Ino to want to run her family flower shop, or Hinata to want to be close to her kids, some don't fit the role well. For example, Sakura is far more likely to have wanted to do something else with her time, perhaps as a village medic-nin. Instead, even she's a housewife.

8. Denki

When Boruto began, fans were introduced to the title characters closest friends. This included Shikadai and soon after, Denki. Unlike Shikadai, though, Denki is a terrible ninja and Boruto has to save him from bullies.

This seems like it might be setting up Denki for a growth arc, but instead he just always seems several steps behind everyone.

Also, Denki is prone to getting his friends into trouble because of his clumsiness, low confidence, and more. Even more, his skills in computers is barely used. Though it was a nice idea to have a kid who didn't want to be a ninja at all, it's disappointing his growth is so miniscule.

7. Karin Keeping Sarada's Umbilical Cord

When Sarada was born, Karin assisted Sakura in labor. After that, though, Karin kept Sarada's umbilical cord. It's a very strange decision already, but her reason for doing it is even stranger. She didn't keep it to remember helping Sakura birth life, but to have a momento of Sasuke's. A momento that is the epitome of his relationship with someone else that isn't her.

Karin can be misguided and creepy at times, but this perhaps takes the cake for craziest thing she's done. She has no use for the cord and it's disturbing to put romantic sentimentality into it.

6. Children Fighting Gang Members and Bandits

In Naruto, some of the teachers make questionable decisions by continuing fights with surprise enemies that may be too difficult for their ninja students. Boruto tries to bypass this by having rules for these situations. Students can only engage in combat with a teacher around.

However, that's nearly worse. Now, students are actively seeking trouble with gangs and bandits. And with the permission to fight them with instructors, of course headstrong shinobi like Boruto go out fighting without that supervision. Though a nice sentiment with better planning to fight with the kids, the random encounters made more sense and encouraged genin to pursue dangerous battles less.

5. Boruto's Low Levels of Character Development

As the main character of the series, Boruto has a surprisingly low amount of character development. In Naruto, the title character had a long way to go. He was rebellious but lonely, talented but erratic, courageous but headstrong. Boruto, on the other hand, has far less internal conflicts. He's rebellious but has tons of friends.

He's talented, focused, and strong. His courage is strong, but he also has a level head in a fight.

Many of Boruto's conflicts are not internal, but external. They can often only be dealt with in time or rely on others to change, too. This makes his growth inherently less noticeable and progressing, making him less engaging as a character.

4. Underusing Himawari

Early on, it's pretty clearly shown that Himawari, with time, might actually be the strongest Uzumaki child. Boruto may have his Karma mark and talent, but Himawari knocked out her father, Seventh Hokage, at the age of three and awakened her Byakugan. There is a raw strength to her, but she is also inherently kind and empathetic. She is a fascinating young character the show puts little spotlight on.

Moreover, it would be hilarious to see a young, cute girl achieving feats of power older children struggle with. It wouldn't be surprising if she could. Himawari could add more humor to the show and add another great power for fans to watch evolve.

3. Sasuke's Crimes

Throughout Naruto, Sasuke committed countless terrible crimes. Sasuke is now seen as a hero by the village despite all he's done. It was understandable for Naruto to forgive and forget, but not the whole village. Sasuke's actions destroyed some lives, after all, and he did try to destroy Konoha entirely.

Even more, though it's good Sarada doesn't have to suffer for her father's crimes, it's strange no one treats her differently for it. If everyone hated Naruto just for housing a dangerous creature, why wouldn't they treat Sasuke or Sarada poorly at times? Naruto's generation may be kinder, but those older generations are still alive and kicking. They wouldn't stay silent.

2. Boruto's Lack of Likable Goals

Until he becomes closer to Sarada and makes a goal of becoming her protector, more like how Sasuke is for Naruto, Boruto has very unlikable goals. Though he's the main character, he's very belligerent and angst-ridden about life. His only goal is to become nothing like his father.

Though Naruto is a questionable parent, he is a good leader and warrior.

His support of Sarada is the first goal that achieves something greater. That goal isn't realized until nearly 40 episodes into the series, though. Until then, he's only filled with abhorrence for his father, so much so that it makes his character fairly illogically angry and flat.

1. Naruto's Terrible Parenting

Naruto is now the Seventh Hokage, a fitting achievement for the powerful, willful young ninja. However, being Hokage makes parenting very hard. Naruto is also a highly neglectful parent, though, willing to send a shadow clone to his daughter's birthday instead of himself.

With Naruto's desire for family and loneliness as a child, it's ludicrous that his bad parenting is as serious as it is. The Hokage excuse makes sense to a point, but missing major life milestones and practically ignoring the troubles of his children is blatantly irresponsible. One would think he'd be an ecstatic, almost annoyingly interactive father. Instead, Naruto is nearly non-existent and that doesn't fit his zealous, loving personality at all.

---

Do you think we missed anything else wrong with Boruto? Let us know in the comment section!

[toasttz]

From the Tabletop #1

In recent times, I've been trying to get more into one of my favorite hobbies: tabletop games. Primarily D&D (of course), Exalted, and Shadowrun. Actually, some friends and I have been running an Exalted game for over 2 years now (since 3rd edition dropped) and I wanted to share with the world some of our fun stories and "That Guy" moments we've had forced upon us as well. Going back to the very beginning, I was, unfortunately, "That Guy" of our initial 3rd Edition Exalts. I built a strong, competent battle-ready Solar Exalt built around the Righteous Devil martial arts which, for those who may not be familiar, is essentially flamethrower-fu. Her name was Sunset Shimmer (yes, I snuck an MLP joke into an Exalted game, and only one other player at the table was in on the gag). The biggest issue with Sunset was a general lack of direction of the character. She had a backstory but no real goal to speak of and it didn't help that meatspace conditions made my attention to her spotty at best. She was an active participant, and I had freakishly lucky rolls playing her, but she was just kind of boring. I really should remake her. It really didn't help that I was the "That Guy" of a party of "That Guys". Another in the group was Hrothgar, whose defining intimacy was Ultra-Violence. But another major intimacy was about what a nice guy this bloodthirsty faux-viking was. It made about as much sense in context as it sounds here. Not helped by not really having a backstory or a goal to speak of. Ditto for Drago, affectionately nicknamed "Ivan Drago", also lacked any characterization to speak of. He was the man of 1000 backstories, because he couldn't settle on one. Once from the 100 Kingdoms, then a peninsula, then an island, then about how much of a great pirate his grandfather was. The GM eventually demanded he put up or shut up, essentially fusing together all the ideas, mostly because we never brought it up again and never actually went to his homeland in that game, but would in later ones. Whereupon we set it on fire (more on that later). The only competent Exalt of the circle was Petral. Sol Invictus knows she tried. Essentially Samurai BatMan, complete with high levels of investigation (she never used) and murdering people (that she really should've left alive), the only really meaningful connection this circle managed was that Targon and Drago's players shipped Sunset and Petral, due to a moment where a badly-drunken Petral, while worshipping the porcelain god, was comforted by a sympathetic Sunset. I'll be honest, as I was a frequent truant at these games, I can't accurately account for the flow of the game, but it did lead to moments wherein I'd find myself saying things like "But last time we agreed to murder some nobles! Why are we 200 miles away from them now?!" or declaring that a large, squid-like creature was, in fact, an aquatic horse upon botching an intelligence check. Things at least became more consistent with our second round of characters. Unfortunately, it was consistently God-awful. We had a cult leader, Zen, who barely had any idea why an Exalt would have a cult. He also didn't know what it would take to run one, having a character with zero personality to speak (I frequently confuse him with the next character here because of this), and - quite frankly - acted extremely evil at times. He had terrible conditions for his cult, food was constantly scarce (not helped by our being in Malfaes for this entire game), and draconian laws oftentimes seen in actual real-world deathcults. Calling this character "incompetent" is kind of like calling the ocean "a bit wet". The second one, Targon... ho boy. His backstory pegged him as an arena gladiator, which is fine on its face. The problems cropped up after that, whereupon he was also a successful businessman (resources 5), owned a chain restaurant which he managed himself (despite claiming to have locations all over creation!), and demanded his demonic clients pay in artifacts of all things. Now, in Malfeas, this could work, as a single-location eccentric establishment that catered to the super-rich. But this is Targon. And he ran it like a Pondarosa Steakhouse, except less competent. He would spend 20-minute long scenes (real time), in how exactly he would cook and prepare food. This established a precedent wherein we realized this player just absolutely would not accept flaws of any kind of his character - not real flaws at any rate. Just the informed "type variety" - his words. And, yes, he always attempted to sound smarter than he actually is by speaking in a roundabout and obfuscatory manner. Next was Taiga, and Taiga was a great character. She became the team mascot, punch-monkey, and little sister all in one. There was literally no one who didn't like her, in terms of player characters, because she was cheerful and cute as a button. She won big in Hell's many arenas and even won herself a few Pokemo-- err-- I mean, pet beasties. Her main concern was patrolling the mean streets of Hell, forming her own police squad - the Justice Buddies. And last, but not least, was my new character, Master of the Eternal Golden Paradise, named from the Exalted Name Generator, in case that weren't obvious. Master was a shrewd businessman (resources 3 to start), who operated as a flashy, guild liaison with some business contacts that helped him ultimately build a theme park in Hell - Super Happy Fun Land. He sort-of adopted Taiga as a little sister, and would go on to help her undermine Zen's cult leadership status, whereupon they would form "Taiga-ism", a rather loose set of morals and ethics as Master devised ways of educating the unwashed masses to make them more productive members of the work force and economy. As I recall, the greatest among these religious prohibitions was against taxadermy - as Taiga kind of thought it was gross. To really drive his themes home, Master as decked out in heavy artifact weapon and armor - his weapon (a reskinned Great Goremaul) was an abicus named "SmithLocke & Keynes" and his armor was a heavy platemail named the "God-Dragon Plate" (or GDP). Among the bizarre things this team did included: Operation Eats & Poops, an attempt to save Zen's hopeless cult by fertilizing fields. This almost got derailed due to a severe drought, but Master had two harthstones that happened to solve the problem. (This itself became an issue later on, due to fukken Zen not signing the proper paperwork while taking up space in the Endless Desert. Master would then go on to petition Cecylene for use of the space, and did so with such an amazing bureacracy roll, that he, and I'm quoting my GM here, "Made the Endless Desert moist".) Zen then begged Taiga into assisting him in getting a magic book - not even getting into his begging for magical martial arts training he ultimately bitched out of (thereby humiliating Taiga in front of her master). This was kind of like trying to explain color to a blind person, because Zen's answer to Taiga's taking him to a book store, was to casually saunter up and begin asking for what amounts to black market wares in the middle of the day. The GM, God bless him, took pity on this faux-pas and Taiga was eventually able to get said book. Not that Zen put it to any meaningful use. Apparently, the 17 year old girl understood the black market better than the man in his 30s. The team would go on to battle many times in the arena, sans Master, who was on the sidelines betting on his comrades's success (when it was Taiga) or their failure (when it was Zen and Targon). Strangely enough, Master's bets were almost always right. At one point we even battled what was essentially a battlemech. The team managed to topple it despite even man-down at the time, and Master sealed it with a linguistics charm essentially reading "DON'T TOUCH. THIS MEANS YOU, ZEN." And the sin that I shall never be forgiven for was Master's casual investment in the entertainment/security measure known as the TaigaBot. These mechanical abominations were fully able to dance, sing, answer simple questions for guests and beat the shit out of anyone who attempted anything funny, be it stealing or attempting to couple with a TaigaBot. Endless innuendos were made, of course, and that's part of the reason I shan't be forgiven for this. Master briefly considered a ZenBot or a TargonBot, but we all know where that would've ended up. Those robots would've killed themselves somehow - likely out of shame for their source material. And the last bit, something Taiga's player really should've reconsidered, was during a battle atop a giant bird-behemoth (Master was absent from this fight), Taiga's Mouse of the Sun, a rather vicious fighter named Fluff Mousington, brandished an anti-warstrider rifle and leveled it on Zen, prompting her for an answer. Taiga relented (her player, less so) and admitted that they should save Zen, causing a battle against a gigantic eagle. In retrospect, probably should've just pulled the trigger. Remember everyone: backstory, intimacies, long-term goal. Not negotiable. So, join me next time as I discuss some D&D (and how I became a half-ork pop star) and a later Exalted campaign involving slutty pirates, a reincarnating old man knight (who happens to be a teenaged girl), and three boneheads no one likes. See you there.

[monkey-network]

WarioWare: The Series Season 3 Episodes

52 Episodes. Season 4 Coming 20XX Season 2, Season 1 * = Episode Submitted by @tmantookie

The End of the Show: WarioWare Inc. want to make games again… except Wario, who has grown tired of the idea and the gang somehow taking advantage of him (even when he steals from them), so he goes back to treasure hunting. This begs the question: can a company run smoothly without an (arrogant and maniacal) entrepreneur to lead it?

The Prince and the Bopper: An elegant prince gets transported to Diamond City and feels out of touch with this new reality, so JT helps him see a side that’s been locked away. His kingdom’s chancellor arrives to take him back, but he’s conflicted between becoming king of the castle or staying as king of the ball.

Wario Side Story: The Possums and the Squirrels, rival gangs of DC’s Crystal Park, have fought for territory for generations. However, the daughters of the gang’s leaders start to bond and wish to put an end to the war. With Wario and Mona spectating from afar, can there be enough resolve in putting an end to the conflict?

Hurry Up!: The WarioWare gang are making a mad dash to a concert, but when they try using a shortcut through the DC mall, they’re forced to confront persistent kiosk owners who will stop at nothing to make them pay.

Words Hurt: In the show’s quietest episode ever, 9 and 18 Volt study at a library when higher grade kids start getting them in unintentional trouble, so the duo set up prank traps that’ll surely get back at them. All without making a sound.

Greed Pluribus Unum: A master thief is taking money from Wario, the richest fatcats of DC, banks, schools, hospitals, everything from the town. Why and where to is anyone’s game, but Wario-Man’s on the case to track down, take back, and force himself to give back to those who’ve been wronged.

Robot Humble: Doris 1 short circuits and plots to lead a robot uprising, but fails at getting an army due to Crygor’s bots not being the most vicious (or stable). So she turns to Mike, who develops feelings for her but gets annoyed by her constant pleading and moping.

Star Tolls: Orbulon takes over Dribble and Spitz’s shift for the day and is somehow better than the duo at getting the job done. But when he accidentally scratches a car and is challenged to a race across the galaxy, he may have to break some codes of his to win.

Nightmare on W Street: Halloween has arrived and Ashley is still the one person who’s afraid of nothing (beyond that one time). She and Wario takes this as an opportunity for easy money from the city, but when a stranger shaman casts a spell on her, the scam might falter when she starts to finally recognize fear.

Man of the Woods: Former minions of Wario’s past are stalking him, and everyone’s trying to figure out how to sooth their haunting tension toward him.

Cater Joe’s: Manager Joe opens a diner on the edge of town to have some time away from the city life. Some of the WarioWare gang stop by to share an adventure they had over the week.

Penny Machine: A snooty scientist is dazzled by Penny’s science fair project, but Penny refuses to give it up as it’s her most delicate creation. So the judge does all they can to get it, but you can’t put a price on love.

The Hero’s Might: After her first ever sugar rush, a hungover Lulu is stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a lute, a water bottle, a mule, and Wario’s clothes on her back. Nothing left to do but try to make it back. And it begs the question: who’s the stubborn one in this story?

The Rhythm Hath Fallen* (Half Hour Crossover Special): A cosmic earthquake causes Heaven World to fall and collide with Diamond City, with HW’s citizens treating DC’s citizens to a week long block party. But the week starts to overstay its welcome, so Rhythm Heaven’s Tibby, his friends, and the WW gang try to fix things with Mamarin’s bizarre guidance.

The Opposable Opponent: Young Cricket starts training under a master that only uses his left thumb to fight, but struggles to keep up with the regime... until he starts to figure out how the master came to be.

Spell “Mi cup”: 9-Volt, 18-Volt, and 13-Amp enter and win a special edition movie branded mug and split up their days of possessing it. However, sharing germs is the one thing the three unfortunately overlook.

Tree Top Tango: Jimmy T is enjoying a jazzy walk in the woods, but gets in a pickle when creatures of nature’s variety start to surface. What’s a disco fool to beside show them a natural groove to ease their carnivorous minds.

Love at First Strike: Ana starts to develop a crush on 9-Volt, and is stuck between practicing and hanging out with him. 9-Volt would feel the same way, if she wasn’t pummeling him as a means to hide him from Kat.

The Typical Beach Episode: It’s an average beach day for WarioWare Inc... until a hurricane lands smack dab in the middle of the fun. So now the gang is caught between staying within the eye of the storm and dodging the chaos circling around them.

Ashociates: Ashley finally made some friends, dawg! Except not really, she’s only using them to get a mystical artifact and if you see her so called “friends”, her front is kinda justified.

Good Golf: Mona and Dr. Crygor are enjoying a nice day of mini-golf when a egotistical pro golfer butts in their game and begins ruining people’s fun. The two team up to beat him just in time for lunch, but things get difficult when he put up traps on the course.

Chili Dog Millionaire: Lulu finds out she’s a great cook, so she gets a job at a gourmet restaurant where the head chef demands for nothing but perfection. Nervous at first, the head chef treats her better than the rest, which prompts jealousy and potential sabotage her way.

King of the Dill: 18-Volt is selling hot pickles at school but sells out quick and ran out of his special ingredients. While going to the store, his classmates spot him and suddenly transform into sore throat, teary eyed zombies by the sight of his green jacket.

Becoming Human (For Dummies): Orbulon gets tired of people picking on him because he’s an extraterrestrial. So he invents a human suit that helps him appear like one. But, the intricacies of the suit start to send Orbulon dark thoughts that yet don’t stray from typical human ideologies.

Dueldreaming: Kat is suffering from nightmares to the point of not sleeping at all, so with the help of Penny, Ana goes into her dreams to slay the horrors but starts to cower before what she finds.

Way of the Birthday: It’s Young Cricket’s birthday, so Mantis has the perfect gift for him for all he’s done: a Battle Royale where it’s him against Mantis’s old friends.

Jump the Rope: We got ourselves a flash forward episode, where we see the kids grown up, the adults living out their days, and Wario.... ummm, in another place.

A New L.O.W.: Wario creates the League of Wario, a team of sinister pranksters, to get back at a viral video celeb that wedgied him great enough to put him in a wheelchair. 

Wario Party: It’s the anniversary of WarioWare Inc, and the gang wants to celebrate the occasion... by dining at the perfect restaurant. But they’ve dined at every place in DC, so they set out to go to the best place with the best palette, atmosphere, and prices.

Musclecats HO!: Mona joins a gym and enters herself into a bodybuilding competition. With the help of a supportive and swoll group of regulars, she’s aiming for the top.

Grey JT: A grey hair sprouts from Jimmy’s head and this makes him worry about how his routine may be the cause of aging faster.

That’s Enough, Buddy: Due to increase danger risk in DC, a young yet no nonsense sheriff is enforcing old rules on the public which interferes with Wario’s latest scam.

A Mother’s Metal: 9-Volt wants to give 5-Volt the best Mother’s Day gift ever, and eventually digs up an old relic of her past that’s both a blessing and a curse to 5.

The Best Worst Case Scenario: Television has gotten boring, even Wario thinks it’s a waste of his time, so everyone trashes their TV and goes outside to more productive means. Everything is swell, except for the people up top who soon rely on Wario to save them.

Oh Snow: Layers of snow has hit DC and while Wario becomes a life-sized snowman, Ashley learns about the multifaceted fun of snow.

WarioWaRPG: A digital virus manifests from Penny’s laptop and turns Diamond City into a card based RPG world. She kidnaps Penny and it’s up to the gang to save her. Unfortunately, they skipped the tutorial and don’t have the best decks on hand.

Let’s Be Lazy For Once: Due to a budget setback thanks to last episode, the WW gang decide to look back on previous episodes and provide as clever and nice a commentary as possible.

You’re Clowning Me: Dribble and Spitz pick a group of clowns that are on their way to rehearsal. What the two fail to realize is that they’re clown mafia with police, and rival clown cars, not far behind.

Chivalry is Dumb: A famous detective, and his maid sidekick, arrives at Diamond City to investigate an elaborate crime, only to be taken aback by Wario and all that he stands for, while his sidekick grows to enjoy the big guy’s rebellious and burly personality.

Break Out the Rainy Day Fun: Kat, Ana, Penny, 9 & 18 Volt join Ashley and Red at their manor while the rain’s heavy outside. And while Ashley is busy with a certain brew she’s craving, she summons skeletons to go play with, and not chomp, the others.

The Suit: Legends says there is a mystical 3 piece suit that can turn any normal being into a charming yet sadistically unruly reality bending version of themselves. Now this would be the part where I mention who stumbles upon such clothing, but I’ll let that be a mystery.

Consider the Fruit n’ Nuts: Dr. Crygor, with assistance from Wario, Mona, Cricket, and Penny, teaches us the good and bad of dieting.

House of Mike: After Mike stumbles upon a group of pugs who’re seeking a sense of purpose and bonding, he shows them a fantasy game he recently bought that could help them out.

The Hero’s “Happiness”: Lulu is comfortable with the life she now has in DC, but doesn’t feel happy, whatever that means. Only when a familiar villager of Luxeville enters the picture does she question whether it’s right to stay or leave for better purposes, and she turns to the least favorable person for help.

You Agree With Me?: In a shocking turn of events, a man who’s never able to decide on any choice was able to thanks to Jimmy’s advice. Now our more decisive denizen is indebted to his afro hero, to the point of imitating him to a bizarrely fleek degree.

Master Blaster: A few million years ago, jerk aliens decided to blast the earth with a laser beam that’s destructive yet really slow. A few million years later, it’s set to touchdown in 24 hours. Orbulon and Dr.Crygor team up to figure out how to beat the laser, but our alien is more worried with time than the doctor.

A Series of Unbelievable Events: At Joe’s Diner, Young Cricket and Master Mantis share their awful day and Manager Joe doesn’t find everything to be true, so they begrudgingly trace their steps and recount their day to Joe exactly how it happened.

Amp Unleashed: 13-Amp must face her fears when she has to rap battle against a duo that inspired her career. While she is alone on this mission, the memories of 18-Volt and Mike’s help give her new found strength.

Fronk Sonata’s Moonlight: Penny’s terrible singing practice makes her voice soul leave her body for 9V’s fronk, Snag, who becomes a hit nightclub singer.

Unininja: Kat and Ana fuse into one ultimate dual wielding ninja, but unfuses for good when they go too far with their newly acquired fun. But when a Tengu Shogun is coming with an armada toward Diamond City, it’s the perfect time to unite once again.

My Witch Ashedemia: Ashley is enrolled in a prep school for witches, but feels bored with the mediocre lessons. But she uncovers a secret about the school and uses this to blackmail the teachers for more advanced schooling, which inadvertently puts a target on her from an anti witch group.

LessTalkMoreTanks (Half Hour Season Finale): The WW gang finds a giant battle tank and take it for a spin, but it turns that they stole it from its cantankerous, anarchy driven owner. So... tank fight in the sand dunes, the gang vs the owner’s friends? Who’s on board?

[kieranjamesreviews-blog]

Red Dead Redemption 2 Review

FYI: I have played nearly 2 full days worth of the game, completed the mains story and 85% complete. I am not a professional review or writer, I am your average gamer, reviewing for the first time.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is Rockstars prequel to the their first highly successful game Red Dead Redemption. This game immerses you into the late 1890s of the wild wild west. However, it is not that wild anymore and people are moving past their more vicious ways and becoming more sophisticated and acceptable but, not for one group of people. The Dutch Van Der Linde gang, a bunch of misfits and outlaws still clinging to the oldways with Dutch their leader preaching and leading them. This game is an extremely enjoyable game, the best I have played in years with great, amazing story and fantastic mechanics that makes you feel like a cowboy. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a masterpiece of a game and in this review I will talk about it, trying to not spoil much as this game is an experience that I recommend you play on your own first.

Story (Plot) Spoiler free

First of I have to talk about the story as this is the main aspect that people are paying for and I have to say it didn't disappoint. The game has 109 missions, 6 chapters and 2 epilogues and with this tells an enjoyable story from the viewpoint of Arthur Morgan a high ranking member in the Dutch Van Der Linde gang, you are a yes man doing dirty work without questions, but that soon changes. You start the game in a bad way, fleeing the law (the Pinkertons) who want you to hang after a heist gone wrong in Blackwater. You and the gang have nothing and are trailing your way through the snowy mountains to find shelter and warmth. Thus starts the main plot of the game, you are all wanted men, who now have no money and need to get away fast, before the law catches up with you. This is really what you are doing for the main story missions, doing certain morally unacceptable activities to get money to “help the camp” so they can flee. However, in doing so you cause unwanted trouble, deaths and general ruckus. Which lead to members of the gang being killed and captured. Losing control of the situation Dutch (the leader of the gang) starts to become reckless and to be honest pretty insane, coming up with plans that will get them in an even worse state then they already are. Your character Arthur Morgan, realises that they don't belong in this world anymore and that Dutch, this once loved father figure is unravelling and that you need to help the remaining gang members to get out. Before Dutch gets everyone killed. This sums up the plot in a quick way, I don't really want to spoil anything to important as this game is an experience. Obviously there is more to it than what I have described.

Characters

Rockstar really had to work hard to create a character that would be loved as much as John Marston which if you didn't know is the protagonist in the first Red Dead Redemption title. The main character would have to live up to the huge shadow of the previous protagonist and oh boy did he. Arthur Morgan is your typical/ stereotypical western cowboy. He has a gruff voice which never got boring, had great jokes, one liners and can hold his own in a battle. But even better than that he develops as a character and person. This game takes him on a journey from a morally iffy yes man, to a man who sees his existence and the gangs existence as unwanted in this new age. A quote he says sums it up perfectly “we’re thieves in a world that don't want us no more” He knows he is a bad person, but decides to change later in the game the best he can and keep the people who deserve a better life safe to live a better life. He is in a constant battle with morality and is full of regret, but by the end of the game is more enlightened and sees the world a lot clearer.

During this game you meet a lot of other great characters from your gang and on the road, which I can't go through all of them. Old faces appear such as John Marston, his family and even uncle. But the character that had the most impact other than Arthur was Dutch Van der Linde. Dutch the leader of these misfits and outlaws starts off as a decent man who seems to just want to help all the people in the gang get to safety. He seems caring, kind and in control. He is a fearless leader who is good with words, which in some way gets the gang to follow him, he seems to know what he is doing. However, he is such a good character because just like Arthur he changes, when things start going south he slowly loses control, his actions and ideas are being questioned. This kind man is now ruthless and reckless, giving no concern for the safety of his fellow gang members. Loyalties are questioned, ties broken between members and Dutch. If you ever think about leaving...well that won't go down too well with big ole Dutch.

Mechanics

Before the game came out Rockstar were really pushing all these mechanics that are in the game, which all added up to create a realistic world. Which I believe they have done pretty well. Lets start of by talking about character mechanics, the big one is of course beard growth, yes your beard does grow and to a pretty considerable length. Think of Gandalfs beard but a little shorter. You have to feed your character otherwise you will start becoming underweight or on the other hand if you eat too much you get fatter, these mechanics do happen, but seem to not change the game massively if you are on either side of the chart. However, food is a necessary thing to help your health gauge fill up. Other than that we have a stamina bar, health bar and dead eye bar which all increases over time by running, fighting and being shot at. A bit like GTA V.

Now we come to world mechanics, so a big thing Rockstar touched on before the games release was that you can go up to anyone and you can greet them, antagonise them etc which could lead to them getting angry and attacking you etc, depending on how far you take it. Yes this does happen, you don't have to use it, it's just there for if you want to, It's a great mechanic honestly as it makes the world feel alive, like these are real people. Another thing that links to npc mechanics is the random events that happen while riding your horse, you could be going down a road and then someone is being robbed. You can help them or leave them. This mechanic ties into the honour system as well, if you left them your honour will go down if it goes all the way down, people will hate you and if your honour is high people will like you more and less bad things will happen. These two mechanic together makes the game seem like 1. the world is thriving with people and 2. that your actions have consequences, be that good or bad. Another great mechanic is that people remember the actions that you do, an example of this is with a mission at the start of the game, where you get into a bar fight and get thrown out of the window. Next time you go to that bar, the barman will say something along the lines of, I hope you don't start any trouble. Just that little thing again makes it seem like a lived in, real world.

Now for some small mechanics, which there are many that go unnoticed such as, bodies decaying. If you kill someone and leave their body it will decay over time, vultures and other animals will come and eat them etc. Which is just a cool little thing. Another little mechanic is your saddle bag and the way you actually take the guns of the side of your horse, like you would in real life. It's the little things that matter. I have missed out other mechanics but If I wrote about them all I would be here for ages. Some of them are, actually being able to pick items you want buy up in a shop, like seriously you see them in your hand or wearing less or more layers of clothes depending on weather conditions.

Horse Mechanics

Horses, horses, horses. What can I say about the horses. The horses in this game move like an actual horse in real life, yes the males have testicles and yes they grow or shrink depending on weather conditions. It's the little things that count. The horse in this game is your pride and joy, you tame the horse, bond with the horse which unlocks new mechanic for the horse, such as drifting. It's stamina goes up over time and so does its health. You have to feed the horse and brush it to increase bonding and the general health of the animal. However, with any animal and living creature in the world, they can die and in this game it's no different. It can die by being shot, tripping over a rock or tree, or just about anything to be honest. Which is sad but creates some funny clips. You can customise your horse, changing saddles, tail shape, size, if it's braided or not. Same with the mane. Also just to make it even sadder when your horse dies you can name it. RIP Mrsflumpylocks. That was my horse BTW it died by hitting a tree. You change all these aspects of the horse by going into a stable, which reminds me exactly of GTA Vs Auto shop. It even does the same cinematic to get into the stable and or shop. Overall the mechanics for the horse are good and is a great improvement from the first game.

Hunting

Hunting is a mechanic you are introduced to pretty much in the first hour of the game. Rockstar said it will be a big part of the game. Which it is to a certain degree. At the beginning of the game you have to hunt for deers to feed the camp. You use your tracking skills to follow the animal, then once you see it use a bow to kill it. You then skin it and then put the meat on the back of your horse to give to the gangs cook Pearson. With the pelt you have you can go and sell it, if it's a high quality pelt i.e you killed it by a head shot or heart shot, the pelt would sell for more. There are also certain animals called Legendary animals which drop legendary pelts which can be used to craft sweet looking outfits for your character, which gives you another goal in the game. Now hunting is all well and good, but I feel it becomes unnecessary to hunt animals for the camp if you have most of the upgrades and keep the camp stocked, as you don't need to kill anything, the camp will survive without you doing any animal killing. So really at end game the only thing hunting is good for is getting cool outfits. Nevertheless, hunting is still pretty fun.

Graphics/Environment

From random encounter with people on the road to animals frolicking around the plains. Red Dead Redemptions environment is a beautiful but ruthless one. It feels lived in with the encounters that happen good or bad and gives a lot to take in and marvel at. Thats probably why you have a camera in your satchel. The graphics are beautiful, with an amazing and careful eye of detail, from your footsteps actually appearing in the snow or mud to your face actually getting dirty over time. On the performance side of things I was playing on a standard Xbox One and it looked great, I had no frame rate drops of any kind and I can only imagine what the game would look like on a an Xbox One X and a 4k TV.

The Bad

Honestly I have to really nitpick to find anything that I would call “bad”. So here they are. I feel like the law is wanted system is really unfair and biased against me. I could go to a town and someone starts a fight with me, but I get a wanted bounty? It doesn't make sense, also the whole witness system and how every time I kill someone there is always a witness that I can't see. It gets very frustrating. My next gripe is that the picking up of items in shops physically is pretty cool, but I feel is useless as it takes so long to buy anything. I hardly ever use the mechanic, unless i’m trying to get cigarette cards for hours on end. The last “con” is that I feel weapon customisation could be better, when I heard about the customisation of weapons I thought it would be better and I know they are old guns which wouldn't have acog scopes and stuff. But I just felt like I wanted more. Again these are tiny things that don't affect my enjoyment of the game massively

End game content

Once you have finished Red Dead Redemption 2, you have a long list of things to do. Which are as followed. Do the collectable missions, there are many collectable missions in Red Dead from dinosaur bones to cigarette cards, which you will need if you want to get 100% on the game. Hunt all the legendary animals, get some outfits. Go fishing, play poker or even go treasure hunting. There is also many a side quest to do, some very weird and some hilarious, I’m talking about that circus quest there. Lastly explore the world, Red Dead Redemption 2 has the biggest and most beautiful map out of all the Rockstar games, full of easter eggs and hidden items. The end game offers a lot to the players to keep their interest and the best thing aswell is that an online will be coming in November.

Rockstar has crafted a wonderful game, which feels realistic, lively and thriving with activity. Which immerses you so much that you do not want put down the controller and you would rather play than take on real world responsibilities. Other than that the game offers an amazing story that of a film and provides you with memorable characters and will make you question your moral compass. I would recommend anyone this game and I rate this title 9/10. Thank you for reading and I hope this helped you.

[theconservativebrief]

Most people associate Stephen King with images of Jack Nicholson on a rampage or a creepy clown staring eerily at you from across the street. But while The Shining and It may be King’s most famous books, they’re not the only reasons King is a pop-culture institution. In fact, King has, to date, written or collaborated on more than 70 books, including collections of nonfiction essays and over 200 short stories. His body of work is voluminous — and it touches on so much more than just horror.

We’re in the middle of a notable King resurgence at the moment, from remakes of King’s older work like It and Pet Sematary to new adaptations like Castle Rock. So if you’ve been thinking of brushing up on your King reading, there’s never been a better time to do so.

Here is a syllabus outlining how to approach and understand more than four decades of King’s writing.

The best introduction to all things King.

In addition to being the seminal influence on modern haunted house tales, this story of Jack Torrance’s fight against addiction as he succumbs to the demons of the Overlook Hotel is worth reading both for its insights into King’s own fights with alcoholism and other addictions and for its differences from the legendary Stanley Kubrick film version (which King legendarily hates).

Both Jack and his wife Wendy are generally much more sympathetic characters in King’s version of events than Kubrick’s, and King goes into far more depth concerning the hotel’s history. King’s inspiration for the book was his real-life stay in the renowned Stanley Hotel in Colorado; one of his major beefs with Kubrick’s film was that Kubrick was unable to film in the Stanley due to a lack of snow. King also has repeatedly framed Kubrick’s version as misogynistic, arguing that it deprives Wendy of agency and transforms her into a shrill stereotype.

But beyond its connections to and deviations from its famous film adaptation, The Shining is noteworthy as an introduction to King’s multiverse. The titular “shine” is a psychic ability to read minds and sense the future that also — as we find out in numerous King stories throughout the years — may be linked to a kind of multi-dimensional, extra-sensory travel.

The Shining also provides an introduction to one of the major criticisms of King’s work, specifically its use of the “magical Negro” trope regarding its treatment of hotel cook Dick Hallorann. Between this and several other novels that seem to use the trope (notably The Green Mile), King’s problematic black characters often overshadow the complexity of characters like Susannah from The Dark Tower and Mike from It’s Losers Club. But for what it’s worth, Hallorann’s magical ability serves as most readers’ gateway to King’s entire multi-dimensional universe of psychics and dimension-jumpers.

A chronological study of the King novels that explain his career and cultural impact.

Salem’s Lot (1975)

King has described this lush vampire novel as a racquetball he was bouncing off the 19th-century wall of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The result of his experiment is a gorgeously crafted tale of a man who returns to his eerie hometown just as a long-dormant nest of vampires takes over. The large and deftly drawn ensemble of characters, as well as the sly nods to vampire tales of the past, combine to make Salem’s Lot, King’s second published novel, one of his most enduring favorites.

The Dead Zone (1979)

This book was King’s first hardcover bestseller — that is, it was the book that signaled his jump into the literary mainstream as a writer. It’s fitting, then, that it’s more of a science-fiction thought experiment than a horror novel. King’s career-long obsession with time jumps and the ethical dilemmas surrounding them — a theme he would explore more definitively 32 years later with 11/22/63 — are on full display here, though the story is not itself about time travel. Instead, King’s protagonist, one of his purest and truest heroes, finds himself afflicted with a mysterious psychic ability to see into the pasts and futures of anyone he touches. His attempt to grapple with the responsibility of such a gift builds to a notably dramatic climax, made famous in David Cronenberg’s 1983 film adaptation.

The Long Walk (1979)

Generally the most highly regarded of the five novels King published under the pen name Richard Bachman, The Long Walk is a young adult dystopia, the first novel King ever began writing, and perhaps the one with the most creative hodgepodge of ideas. Set in an alternate history in which Germany won World War II and has brought fascism to North America, the story involves a grueling modern version of a 19th-century walking contest in which contestants have to obey strict rules or die. The Long Walk is one part Hunger Games, one part Man in the High Castle, but still uniquely Stephen King, with a large ensemble cast, plenty of male bonding and daddy issues, and a hero who fights and perseveres against heavily distorted social norms.

Different Seasons (1982)

This collection of four novellas includes the inspirations for three of the most well-known King film adaptations: The Body, which became 1986’s Stand By Me; Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption, which became 1994’s The Shawshank Redemption; and Apt Pupil, which became perhaps the biggest flop among King films.

It’s Apt Pupil, his attempt to grapple with the horror of the Holocaust, that offers one of King’s grimmest and grossest versions of horror. The story of a young teen who falls into an obsessive, psychosexual relationship with a neighbor who is a Nazi, it’s a descent into madness that ultimately feels exploitative rather than transformational. Still, it’s bracketed by two of the greatest stories King has ever written (though The Body garnered King an accusation of plagiarism from an old friend). The fourth novella, The Breathing Method, is a lighter, more traditional ghost tale, set in a Manhattan club and done in an early-20th-century literary pastiche.

The four stories together offer a good glimpse into King’s range of styles and preoccupations. And if you have a shorter attention span, the novellas offer a basic alternative to King’s epic works while still giving you plenty of story.

Pet Sematary (1983)

Most people probably know Pet Sematary, if they know it at all, through the uneven but mesmerizing 1986 film adaptation — currently receiving a highly anticipated remake. King’s novel, however, is about far more than zombified cats. It’s about the intense and often horrific nature of grief, and the lingering effects of direct brushes with death itself. King weaves a vivid and often brutal character study out of the deep and abiding worry parents have for their children. Pet Sematary is full of a rich subtext and bleak sadness that’s not often associated with King as an author, but in this Monkey’s Paw parable, his love and empathy for the human condition has never been more fully on display.

It (1986)

While It was still being written, King described it to the Washington Post as a story about kids, and specifically an expansion of the themes he began exploring in The Body. “There are times when I think I just ought to burn it,” he said. “But ‘It’ is going to be pretty good. You’ll like it.”

It became one of the most iconic works of 1980s literature, and the famous 1990 miniseries starring Tim Curry introduced millions of viewers to the title character: a shapeshifting entity that cyclically resurfaces every 27 years in the town of Derry, Maine, to lure children to their doom. Its resting state is the form of a terrifying clown named Pennywise, but fundamentally It takes on the form of whatever children fear most. King uses this conceit to explore not only the processes by which we overcome our childhood fears, but the processes by which we don’t. The children at the center of It, a group of pre-teen misfits known as the Losers Club, are all still haunted by their experiences 27 years later when It resurfaces again, reuniting them all in one last battle to save the town and themselves.

Using a wildly ambitious nonlinear structure, King sweeps back and forth through time to explore themes of friendship bonds, coming-of-age, conquering fear, and the secrets of small town America, all while unfolding a chilling tale with an iconic monster at its center. A 1,100-page magnum opus which King has accurately described as “a final exam on horror,” It merges the past with the present and reminds us that childhood fears — along with childhood dreams — remain tucked away inside of us, just waiting to resurface.

Dolores Claiborne (1992)

Published just months after King’s other overtly feminist novel, Gerald’s Game, Dolores Claiborne is a notable stylistic break for the author. An almost stream-of-conscious first-person narrative, it contains essentially no supernatural elements except for one surreal moment in which the heroine, during a solar eclipse, becomes psychically joined with the heroine of Gerald’s Game in a moment in which they can see into each other’s minds. Instead, it recounts the story of an abuse victim pushed to the breaking point, literally, in her own words.

Dolores, while trying to reckon with her past, works for a controlling, vicious boss, an older woman named Vera who throws herself headlong into a Baby Jane-like psychological feud with Dolores. Though the endless dialect-laden monologue makes the book something of a slog, it’s worth it, both for the sheer energy with which these women hate each other and for the sympathy King lends to Dolores and poor, strapped but persistent women like her.

The Dark Tower (1978 – 2012)

The Dark Tower, which King began writing in college, is based on a famous Victorian romance poem by Robert Browning, “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came.” King conceived the story as an epic fantasy joined with the tropes of the spaghetti Western. He spent decades unfolding the story of exhausted gunslinger Roland Deschain, the last of his kind, and his attempts to track the villainous Man in Black across the vast desert wasteland of a worn-out world.

The titular Dark Tower is gradually revealed to be an interdimensional portal that serves as the nexus of all Stephen King universes. Roland must join with the friends he’s made along the way to restore his own world to life and keep the Man in Black from destroying all worlds. This quest frequently requires Roland to travel between worlds himself; much of the series’ action takes place in modern-day New York City.

King fully explores the interconnectivity of his universes throughout the Dark Tower. He even invokes himself as a significant character, painting himself as a kind of prophetic scribe who must write down all the worlds of the Dark Tower in order to keep their inhabitants alive. The series is nonlinear — the final book fits chronologically between the fourth and the fifth, and the storyline continually jumps back and forth through time and space — and that nonlinear nature ultimately becomes a crucial part of the entire series.

Revival (2014)

One of King’s most critically well-received works, Revival is a classic merger of Lovecraftian Weird fiction with King’s typically epic sweep of landscapes and character ensembles. Once again a story of an intergenerational bond between a man and a boy, Revival follows a jaded faith healer who essentially Dr. Frankensteins the afterlife, and the young man who becomes his assistant. Like all Weird fiction, Revival is full of foreboding and intimations of untold cosmic horrors, but it’s also really fun. The sheer strangeness of the story, along with King’s ability to pull you along through his sprawling literary canvas, makes Revival one of King’s most enjoyable reads — and a sign that King is just as on top of his game as he was four decades ago.

The pop-cultural juggernaut every King fan must eventually reckon with.

Alongside It and The Shining, The Stand is probably King’s most popular work. Originally published in a truncated form as a novel in 1978, it was re-released in an “uncut” edition in 1990 that was essentially a new draft, containing an additional 400 pages of material — making The Stand the longest book in King’s catalog, as well as one of the most epic works of apocalyptic fiction around.

The Stand concerns itself with societal collapse after an unrestrained flu epidemic, a byproduct of biological warfare, wipes out most of the Earth’s population. Surprisingly fast-paced given its sprawl, the book introduces one of King’s most famous characters: the mysterious Randall Flagg, a universe-hopping entity who takes many forms and shows up in a variety of King novels, most notably as The Dark Tower’s Man in Black.

In its thorough nature, its gargantuan size and scope, and its attempts to explore the pitfalls of a society forced to rebuild itself in a hurry, The Stand has become one of King’s most notable and culturally inescapable works. Among King’s oeuvre, however, the book has its fair share of critics: The New York Times, waylaid by the book’s massive size, found it lacking in narrative depth and claimed that the book “reproduces at length all the empty excesses that it appears to deplore.” And King does seem content to treat the apocalypse mainly as a thought experiment rather than an opportunity for meaningful narrative development.

Still, if you’re going to call yourself a true King fan, you should probably at least sample The Stand. For one thing, it’s The Stand. For another, it’s influenced basically every post-apocalyptic work that’s come after it. It all adds up to a book made for fans — but one newbies might want to work up to.

There’s more to King’s career than his most celebrated novels. Much, much more.

Danse Macabre (1981)

What it is: a collection of 1981 essays on the horror genre

What it’s about: This book is an advanced collegiate course in horror delivered in essay form — though it’s full of far more youthful anecdotes and colorful metaphors than your average essay collection. King discusses the nature and function of horror from a wide variety of angles and demonstrates a jaw-droppingly thorough knowledge of speculative fiction of all stripes, moving from discussions of modern sci-fi writers to early-20th-century pulps to 18th-century Gothic literature to 1950s beach-movie horror to mid-century radio dramas and long-extinct comics publishers, all with ease.

Why it’s famous: In addition to serving as a fabulous explication of the past two centuries of horror writing, Danse Macabre is a look at the personal experiences that shaped King’s views on horror. It’s also a glimpse of a writer who’s at his peak and knows it.

“The Jaunt”

What it is: a 1981 King sci-fi short story that’s become a cult classic

Where to find it: King’s short story collection Skeleton Crew

What it’s about: A futuristic family prepares to make “the jaunt,” a journey through space involving a complicated time-warp.

Why it’s famous: It’s all about the ending.

“The Man in the Black Suit”

What it is: a 1994 King short story originally published in the New Yorker

Where to find it: King’s short story collection Everything’s Eventual

What it’s about: A young boy meets the devil in the guise of an ordinary gentleman.

Why it’s famous: The winner of the O. Henry Award, a famous literary award for short fiction, as well as the World Fantasy Award, this story arrived at the cultural moment when critical assessment of King was beginning to change, and thus has a currency among the literati that many of King’s other works don’t have. Still, several of the classic Stephen King elements are at work here — the supernatural man in black, the fraught encounter between man and boy, and untold cosmic horror translated into a microfiche catalog of everyday details — told through a run-of-the-mill fishing trip gone horrifically awry.

“Jerusalem’s Lot”

What it is: a prequel short story to Salem’s Lot, set a century earlier and easily read as a standalone

Where to find it: King’s short story collection Night Shift, as well as some newer editions of Salem’s Lot

What it’s about: King’s prequel is a masterful send-up of 19th-century Victorian vampire literature. Written in the epistolary style of Dracula, it tells the tale of an aristocrat unearthing hidden secrets about his family and their connection to the ruined Puritan settlement of Jerusalem’s Lot — a macabre site that turns out to be teeming with vampires.

Why it’s famous: “Jerusalem’s Lot” is a wonderful pastiche that fills in lots of backstory details and makes the decadent, gothic story of Salem’s Lot seem even more decadent and gothic.

Lisey’s Story (2006)

What it is: a hybrid novel of romance and psychological horror

What it’s about: After the death of her husband, a famous writer, a grieving widow has to contend with dark secrets about his life while fending off a stalker fan and attempting to deal with her husband’s demons.

Why it’s famous: For years, King claimed that this little-known story was his favorite of all the books he’s written, though recently he seems to have reassessed his opinion.

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft (2000)

What it is: a memoir of his life as a writer and the lessons about writing he’s learned

What it’s about: Employing the same mix of autobiographical anecdotes and deep wisdom he used in Danse Macabre, King dives deep into the art and craft of being a writer.

Why it’s famous: Ironically, King’s advice on writing was one of the works that finally garnered him critical acclaim. The book wound up being praised more, and by more critics, than any of his fiction to date. On Writing “should lead [King] to better things,” one critic wrote on the book’s release.

What it helped further, instead, was King’s long-overdue critical reassessment. On Writing now routinely tops lists of the best pieces of writing advice ever written.

Original Source -> The essential Stephen King: a crash course in the best from America’s horror master

via The Conservative Brief