#like jajsjdjsjJjKKAKSKDKDJJFJFJFJFJJFJFJJFJFJFJFJF

[avatardoggo]

we’ve been texting back and forth for the whole week 🙈☺️😳🥰

[i-can-bench-220]

this is it. this is the funniest scooby doo clip

[kangals]

trying to explain what daylight savings time is but they just keep staring at me like I’m a fucking idiot who can’t read a clock. IM NOT WRONG YOU ARE.

[softgrlfriend]

the fact that I have to be in the “right headspace” to do even the simplest tasks. absolutely humiliating

[comfortfrogblog]

[soracities]

genuinely cant stop thinking about whatever early human first looked a literal wolf full in the face and thought domestication would be fun but ALSO cant stop thinking about the ENTIRE early human tribe that absolutely did NOT think to stop them

[beholdingslut]

this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

[siflshonen]

“I could fix him”; “I could make him worse!” Why??????? Why all this DIY???? I just wanna stand over his shoulder and see what he can possibly fuck up next

[kalofi]

forever thinking of the time i just wanted to know how long i could go without sleeping and google autofilled it to “in minecraft” without me realizing. you can imagine my shock and horror until i read the website title

[batfamfucker]

We don't appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don't.

[thegreatyin]

found a twitter tweet that was like "oh yeah content warning hatoful boyfriend has a lot of gore and violence" and every single person in the notes/retweets/qrts/whatever the fuck terms twitter has was going "WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS WHAT" and i find that hilarious because. large amounts of gore and violence is a tremendous understatement about the amount of stuff that goes down in hatoful boyfriend

[gaybichon]

my client just said "there's bigger fish to fight" which is objectively a much better idiom

[markets]

talks to a girl and is immediately hit with an 105 degree fever nausea chills etc has to lie in bed all day wiping sweat off my forehead with a silk handkerchief and writing about my illness in my diary like a malnourished victorian man

[exeggcute]

not to be overly serious (lol) but if you're mad about these stupid new ""safe mode"" changes on tumblr's iOS app you need to be directing your energy towards apple because, realistically speaking, there is literally nothing tumblr staff can do about this lol. they've either gotta follow apple's rules or get their app removed from the app store.

but also this is just part of a way bigger and longstanding issue with apple's walled-garden approach to software where you can only get shit that meets their very specific standards and doesn't compete with their own proprietary apps AND if users make an in-app transaction apple gets like, a 30% cut or something insane. this is why epic games had that whole thing where they took fortnite off the app store in protest (and which iirc is still part of a big pending legal case that'll have some serious precedent based on its outcome.....?) so like. this is actually just one tiny battle being waged in a full-scale war of online content and access and censorship and yelling at a bunch of ragtag mobile devs on tumblr's staff will fix exactly nothing, I promise. so go complain about it to apple!!!!

[severalowls]

Thinking fondly about the entire genre of victorian hauntings that were "everybody who stayed in the house after dark saw weird shit going on for months until the entire structure suddenly combusted of its own ghostly accord" which abruptly ended as soon as we stopped lighting our homes with vast quantities of odorless gas